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mxtantrights · 19 days ago

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the unauthorized thunderbolts* office story

a/n: I'll always come back to Bucky Barnes. my first morally grey character (even though that's debatable and he was brainwashed, but we're not here to get into specifics) so this takes place post-falcon and winter solider and maybe during thunderbolts? I don't know the movie plot but we're just gonna go with vibes anyways.

Bucky barnes x fem!reader

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine is a very peculiar woman. You didn't mean to meet her but you have a feeling know that she always meant to meet you. It happened by coincidence, or so you thought, when your grocery bag ripped. In an effort to gather up all your items you had left your non-ripped bags at the front curb of the store.

When you finally managed to scoop up the apples and lemons you brought, you came back to find her there. She held onto your bags with a smile on her face. She introduced herself and said she was looking for an assistant.

How your bumbling of groceries has inspired her to offer you a job was beyond you. But you took it all the same. Living in a city like New York isn't cheap.

Valentina of course did her own version of a formal interview. You and her walked around Central Park and she asked what it is you like to do, and why you don't do it.

You told her you liked to dance ballet. But you had to drop out of school in order to get a job that paid for the clothes on your back, the roof over your head and the foo din your belly.

Valentina got you re-enrolled within a week. And then she told you that your salary increases each year by five percent. You couldn't have found a better boss.

Which leads you here, to working at your desk. Trying to put together some files to hand over to the weapons and ballistics department. They had recently submitted their monthly spendings sheet and you were tasked with going over their spendings and eliminating some things for a cost-effective next month.

You're sat at your desk the first time you see him.

He comes in wearing all black. Not in a way that sounds alarms in your head, but in a normal way. In a way that says, I like the color black but not for any reason like robbing a bank or something.

You watch as he walks smoothly over to Valentina's door. No one gets in the building let alone on this floor without her knowing. It made your job a bit easier. Whatever meetings she schedules are up to her and your only job is to man the front desk and phone.

He spares you a glance and even a little smile.

You knew who he was. You knew from his face. Bucky Barnes. The winter soldier. You thought to yourself that he must be turning over a new leaf. Trying to do some good in a world full of crazy and aliens and robots.

He goes into Valentina's office. The two of them talk for almost fifteen minutes. Then he's walking out. And not in a good mood either. You can tell by the sour puss look on his face.

Valentina slowly sauntered out of her office. Clearly in deep thought about something that happened. You asked her if she was okay and if she needed something.

She smiled. From that day on you were not only her assistant but something else entirely. She called you the asset.

THREE MONTHS LATER ...

She had the team almost ready to assemble. You laughed when you first said it out loud. She did too.

She had Yelena, Alexei, Ava and the new one who goes by Bob. They hadn't met yet officially but that was in the works as she said. And you had the grandest task of all.

You had to bring in Bucky to the taskforce. Valentina hadn't come up with a name yet. She had tossed a few out but she struck them down just as quickly.

This was the first job she gave you that didn't require sitting at your desk. You liked it very much. Well almost every part of it. You liked the idea of securing a 'employee' as Valentina called it. But you didn't like the idea of being portrayed as helpless.

But she tacked on a commission fee for this job. So you weren't about to say no.

You stood at the bar with a drink. You wore your best night out outfit. And you got to work. Apparently Bucky had frequented this bar. You had struck out the last three nights when you reconned outside. But you got tired of just doing nothing so you decided to be proactive.

You ordered your favorite drink, the one you know only makes you slightly buzzed, and waited.

Good thing you did because maybe twenty minutes after you got your drink he walked right in. This time instead of all black he work a dark blue jacket along with the black. You thought of it as progress.

He sat at the table nearest to the window. His back to the window. His face a bit tucked away from the other patrons of the bar. You don't know how you managed it but you caught his eye.

It didn't take long before he walked over to where you were sat, at the bar. He slid up next to you and ordered a beer. For three whole minutes he didn't even talk to you. You don't know if he was waiting for you to go first, or if he didn't recognize you.

That was until he spoke up.

"Valentina usually this persistent?" he asked.

You shake your head. Not sure how to respond to that. Because for all intents and purposes she was that persistent. If she really wanted something there was almost nothing on Earth that could stop her.

"The whole reason I have this job is because she took a chance on me. She gave me a second chance at my dream." you said.

He took a swig of his beer.

"You do know that she's not a good person, right?" he asked.

"Doesn't mean that you can't be." you spat out.

He looks at you on the side. You thought you might have said the wrong thing. That you might have put your foot in your mouth and costed Valentina a valuable employee.

But then he did the unthinkable. Bucky Barnes got up from his seat. Slapped a twenty dollar bill down onto the wood of the bar. Then he turned to you.

"Tell Valentina I work on my own terms. If she doesn't like that, she can get lost."

Then he told you goodnight. Bucky Barnes left without another word that night. He didn't even wait for you to say anything. He just upped and left.

You reported back to Valentina ten minutes after he left that you secured the employee.

ONE WEEK LATER...

You're watching them fight each other. From the safety of Valentina's office you watch right along with her as the team delivers kicks and punches and blows.

Hardly a team.

"Good thing I left Barnes out of this group bonding experience." she says.

"Is it really group bonding if they could possibly kill one of their possible teammates?" you ask.

Valentina shrugs her shoulders, "This will help me weed out the weak ones. I won't let it go on for too long. They'll be coming up soon. Do you wanna stay for the meet and greet?"

You shake your head no.

"I've got to head to the dance studio. Auditions for the spring recital." you respond.

"Of course I'll let you land the lead role on your own. But if it doesn't work out I can move a couple of pieces off the chess board." she jokes.

"Thanks boss, have a good day." you saw walking to the door.

Just as you wrap your and around the knob, about to pull the door open, it opens from the other side. You take a step back, thinking it might be the new team coming in.

You are sweetly surprised. It's Bucky.

He makes eye contact with you. And you think, maybe for a second or even half that, he has a small smile on his face. It goes away as soon as it comes but you swear you aren't imagining it.

You nod your head once, "Mr.Barnes."

"Call me Bucky." he says.

He side steps and walks into the room. You walk out. You can hear Valentina welcome him inside, and to the rag tag team.

APPROX. TWO DAYS LATER...

You run inside of the elevator. With no grace and even less poise you drop your duffle bag and take off your sweater. You had to change back into your casual clothes.

You hit the button for the penthouse suite. Valentina's office. You finally peel off your sweater and throw it on the ground. Just as the doors are about to roll close something stops it.

The team. The whole entire team.

Like an idiot you stand there, frozen. Not embarrassed, you're used to changing in front of people. No you aren't embarrassed you're startled.

Alexei is the first one to step into the elevator. Then Yelena and Ava. Then the guy you knew nothing about- even though he introduced himself to you as Bob. Then Bucky. Last one inside the elevator is Walker.

Walker. You hate that man with a passion. Not only did he walk and talk like some smarmy prick, you hated that he was ever given the position of captain America.

Walker comes face to face with you. You stand up straight, meeting him with a glare. The elevator doors roll closed behind him. He smiles.

"Well well well, if it isn't the little ballerina." he snarks.

"Save it, captain lame." you reply.

You can hear the others talking amongst themselves about the scene you and Walker and putting on. They more than anyone probably know how much of a prick he is. You bet you could smack him and none of them would come to his rescue.

"Valentina pay you the big bucks to strip in elevators?" he asks.

You shimmy out of your skirt and place it in the bag. You stand back up to your full height. You roll your shoulders back.

"How's your wife and child, asshole?" you ask back.

You can see him clench his jaw. That hit a nerve. Good. You look him right in the eye as you reach for your blazer. You pull it on. Then you grab your jeans.

"Assistants are replaceable." he says.

You put the jeans on one left at a time over the leggings you still have on. Then you smile. You button the pair of jeans resting on your hips.

"How fast did they replace you? What, like two minutes?" you quip.

There's snickering coming from behind you. You watch as Walker tenses up.

"She's right." Yelena says in her accent.

"I would quit if I were you." Ava adds.

Walker scoffs, "If I tell Valentina-"

You coo, "Are you gonna run and tell mommy that someone called you a bad name. Oh no!"

"Shut up." he says.

"You first." you say, then reach around him to press the next floor's button.

He's about to say something when the elevator doors roll open again. He turns around. There's no one in the hallway waiting for the elevator.

"I'm going to leave this elevator now. But I would love to show you how the new bazooka works. You'd make a great target." you say.

You pick up your duffle bag and walk out of the elevator. Not without taking in the laughter that comes from everyone inside of it. You can hear Walker throwing a fit as the doors close.

Its better you get off than antagonize him any more than you already did. You'd probably break protocol and actually punch him in the throat.

A WEEK AFTER THE FIRST MISSION...

There's a knock on the door. You aren't expecting anyone to come around. So you pick up your black kitten and head to the door. When you look through the peephole you see the one person you weren't expecting to see.

You open the door. It's Yelena.

"Funny running into you here." she says.

You invite her in wordlessly. She closes the door behind her and takes her jacket off.

"I thought you would try to talk to me sooner." you say.

She shrugs her shoulders, "I was a bit busy. But I'm here now. So tell me what's this about?"

You raise your finger to your lips and nod her over to the bathroom. She follows you into the blue tiled room. You turn on the sink and put down your kitten.

"Top secret mission from Fury. Infiltrate and report back." you answer her question.

"So Valentina doesn't know you were a former red-room assassin turned blacklist SHEILD agent?" she asks.

You nod your head, "I got a whole new identity. Fully loaded with details. I'd been working this op for almost a year before she approached me."

"So what happens if she finds out?" Yelena inquires.

"Well she either kills me or asks me to double cross SHEILD. She hasn't said anything yet which can mean either of those things." you reply.

Yelena shakes her head at your answer.

"I'm not going to let her hurt you." she says.

"She won't. If she tries I'll just be extracted." you put in simple words.

She makes a face at that. One that says she doesn't believe in the institution you find yourself employed by. She trusts your instincts, she'd told you as much a couple of years ago while on a mission.

"I promise I will take care of myself." you say.

"Please. Valentina isn't someone to mess with."

TWO WEEKS LATER...

You're walking down the hallway with the file in your hands.

Your file. Okay it's not your file but some of your past information is in it. Specifically information that you don't want or need Valentina finding out about you.

You thought SHEILD had done a better job at this. They were supposed to have cleaned your identity off of online and physical files. But here was a couple of missions you had done years ago with your aliases on them.

You come up on the storage closest for cleaning supplies. So you take a sharp right turn. You open the door and let yourself in. With a soft click you shut he door.

In the very dim lighting of the room you open the file up to make sure. Your eyes scan the words quickly. Sure enough you weren't seeing things or making it up.

Shit.

You toss the manila folder onto the ground. Then you rip the papers inside. In half. Then in fourths. Then in more tiny pieces. You hold the bunches of paper in your hand as you look around the room.

A bottle of bleach and other cleaners sits on a shelf. Good you could use that, but you would need a container. You look around some more.

An old tin bucket in the corner. You run over and grab the bucket. You dump the papers in there and run over to the cleaning liquids. You grab both the bleach and the strongest cleaner. Then you open them up and fill the bucket up.

The smell is strong on your nose. But you keep going. You recap the bottles and put them back. Then you grab the broom that stands against the nearest wall.

You turn it upside down and use the handle to mix the solution.

The door opens.

There in the door way is Bucky. You jaw drops and you stop stirring. You were not expecting him to just walk in here. Maybe the janitor? Or one of the lower level agents Valentina has employed. Not Bucky.

"Saw you leave in a hurry. Is everything okay?"

You gulp.

"Yes. I'm good." you lie.

He cocks his head to the side. His eye drop to the bucket on the floor. Then back up to you.

"Why does it smell like bleach in here?"

"It's a cleaning supply closet."

His face drops and he sports a frown, "I told Valentina that-"

"She doesn't know about this." you cut him off.

"So there is something going on."

"Yes. But I've got it handled."

"Right."

A MONTH LATER...

She found out. Or it's safe to say at this point that she knew for a while and didn't say anything.

It's not like she caught you red handed. No, Valentina is too smart for that. She wanted your defenses down. She wanted you distracted.

So she called you into your regular monthly meeting. It's always the two of you, so when you came in and saw her already seated you weren't suspicious.

It wasn't until five minutes into the meeting when the arms of your chair suddenly tied you down, automatic clamps, when you did panic. You struggled at first, trying to pay the damsel in distress.

But that didn't work. She just sat there and looked at you. She watched as you went through every like you could think of. She accepted none of them.

"What's your goal here?" she asks.

"What?"

"Your goal. Your point. Ya know,"

You shake your head, "Valentina..."

"Were you trying to kill me? or sell information to the highest bidder?"

You're taken a back by her last question. Sell information? Then it hits you. She knows you're an agent,t but she doesn't know if you're still active or who for. Huh.

You're safe, for now.

"It was nothing personal." you answer.

She laughs at that, "Nothing personal? I thought of you as my child."

"That's a bit much, Valentina."

"Okay, yeah. That was a lie. But still. You lied to me."

"Like I said, nothing personal. Just a mission." you look away from her.

"Okay so who hired you? CIA? FBI? Homeland? Or maybe-"

The door opens. You both look to the right. Walking in like he owns the place is Bucky. He comes to a stop when he sees you restrained to the chair.

He takes one look at you then at Valentina.

"What the hell is this?" he asks.

Valentina waves you off, "Field training. Have to keep my assistant safe don't I?"

"That's not your assistant." he says.

You eyes are blown wide. You don't understand what he's doing inside of the office in the first place. But you know for sure he doesn't know who you are.

"Oh? Please do share with the class." Valentina jokes and she stands from her seat.

Bucky takes this chance to walk over to you. You watch as he joins you at your side. He places his hand on your shoulder.

"Former Red Room agent." he answers.

Valentina looks surprised. She looks you up and down, like she just got a great return investment. You feel like a piece of meat. You don't like where this is going.

"Woah. You're saying I've got three of them on my roster? Damn I hit the jackpot." she smiles.

"I'm not on your roster." you speak up.

Valentina tuts, "Well if you wanna walk out of here with your life, you will be."

Crap. This means working as a double agent. No, wait you weren't actually going to help Valentina'. This meant working as a triple agent. More crap.

You nod once. She claps her hands together. Then she fishes a remote out of her blazer pocket.

"Well this has been great, but I have an important meeting to crash elsewhere. Do me a favor and get the hell out of my office would you?" she says.

She clicks a button. The restraints around your arms are released. You feel your wrists and rub the tender skin.

Valentina leaves her office with no other words for your or Bucky. You watch as she closes the door behind her. Then you launch out of your seat.

"What the hell was that?!" you ask.

Bucky stammers for a bit, "That was me saving your life."

"I didn't need saving! You just made things worse!" you shout.

He crosses his arms against his chest. Then he gives you an unbothered look.

"I'm not looking for a thank you, I'm looking for an explanation." he says.

You shake your head, "It's a long story. How'd you even know I was in here?"

"I didn't. Yelena did. I was closest to the office so she asked me to barge in here." he answers.

"I'll give you an explanation off we get out of here." you say.

FOUR HOURS LATER

You and Bucky are sat in the back booth of a bar. He's been nursing a beer bottle for the past hour. You have had three drinks so far. You're not spiraling, not yet.

"So you're an former red room and undercover SHEILD agent trying to dismantle Valentina's operation from the inside except she doesn't know that you're SHIELD." he summarizes.

You nod your head, "That's pretty much it."

"I don't remember you from the red room." his interest seems piqued.

You crack a laugh at that, "If I was in the red room around the time you were I'd be like eighty or something."

He laughs at that. "I'm not that old."

"Oh yeah, what are you like seventy?" you joke.

"I'm actually in the triple digits." he answers bluntly.

Your eyes widen. Yes, because of the ice. You didn't think to count that. But then again you didn't count it when it came to Captain America.

He laughs again, "Your face is priceless."

Grabbing your drink you down it until the glass is empty. Then you set it back down on the table. You take him in once more. He doesn't look like he's in the triple digits. Damn that serum must work wonders.

You think back to the impromptu interrogation in Valentina's office now.

"How'd you know to tell her I was red room?" you ask.

He shrugs his shoulders, "It gets tossed around so much it should be a bowling club at this point."

You howl in laughter at that. The only other person you ever really joke about the red room with is Yelena. And she is funny as it is. But hearing The Winter Solider basically call it a bowling club? Funny as hell.

"Mr.Barnes," you hold out your hand in front of you, "I'd be delighted to join your bowling club."

He smiles softly, and takes your hand in his. His flesh hand. He feels warm and just a little bit rough. Years of working and committing crimes for the state, both states actually. Huh.

Huh.

#marvel x reader #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes fic #marvel fic

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maxwell-grant · 8 months ago

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The Penguin: Episode 1 Breakdown

(Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

Thank you Lauren LeFranc, Mike Marino, Colin Farrell and Matt Reeves, we owe you the world for this, good God. It's finally here everyone and I've decided I'm gonna give each episode it's own post/breakdown of thoughts, because hahaha holy shit you guys this is beyond what I even dreamed of, and we're gonna be covering this for a while I think. I've worked out enough madness about this out of my system by talking with friends and I can't seem to be able to work on anything else till I get this done, so let's do it.

Bottom line: This isn't even just a must-watch if you like the Penguin or if you like The Batman, this is something I'd recommend to just about anyone in a heartbeat, something I can point to when people ask "why do you like The Penguin so much" and, instead of the elaborate nerd ramble that usually turns them off, I can just tell them to watch this. A friend of mine (who already loves Batman and digs the Penguin quite a bit) even told me as much, that he's starting to get why I love the character so much, and truly, is there a better feeling than this? Well, there is, and it's watching the show. Let's dig into this first episode:

Right upfront I'm gonna say that this doesn't really seem to be the Sopranos rip-off that people have been calling it before release, although there are definitely Sopranos comparisons to make here. I've spent the past months finally watching The Sopranos in order to get the comparison and definitely want to talk about those comparisons after I finish it (and this show ends). This thing aims to stand on it's own legs as a crime show and it's smashing out of the gate with an extremely promising first episode.

So this just casually opens with the reveal that all along, there was a second rich Gotham the whole time that was completely unaffected by everything we saw in the movie, already throwing a great twist on the events of that movie, and further reinforcing how fucking full of shit The Riddler was. All we saw Batman and the others deal with in the movie was just affecting the poorer parts of the city. All Eddie did was drown rats, and make life worse for the people already in the bottom, while never even getting close to targeting the systemic rot that ruined his life. He retains ideological worshippers in subways obsessed with the corruption of the city without doing anything to actually improve it, and because of him, the streets of Gotham are waterlogged shitholes while the rich Falcone suburbs are doing just fine, peachy even.

I said a while back that, in spite of having about 6 scenes/10 minutes of Penguin runtime, The Batman managed to squeeze impeccably controlled Penguin Trademark Scenes, and this show opens with the last one they didn't get to then: Penguin killing someone for making fun of him. In the movie, he tries doing that with Falcone and is beaten to the punch, so here he gets to actually do it to disastrous consequences.

Fucking adore that the inciting incident of the show is based on the fallout of Oswald killing someone for making fun of him. He pours his heart about the dream he lives his life for, his new boss makes fun of him for being an embarassment to their profession and then he does the most typical Penguin thing by killing him for it and laughing afterwards. And then he realizes how badly he fucked up, and then we get a fucking perfect titledrop with his musical theme, the exact moment we finish The Batman and enter The Penguin.

God it is so fucking cool how the make-up/lighting, the scar across his face, makes it look like he's got a genuine beak from certain angles, how they're able to achieve that effect without giving him a more literal beak for a nose. Everytime they talk about the character, Reeves and Farrell always emphasize how integral the make-up was to them figuring out what to do with Oz, how little they knew what to make of his six scenes until Marino created their monster and suddenly everything fell into place. Mike Marino fully deserves co-credit for the creation of Oz.

Pretty amusing that Victor, as designed to be Penguin's Robin, has exactly the same origin as Jason Todd, a poor street kid trying to steal the hubcaps off the Penguinmobile (I'm sure this bodes very well for his odds at survival), as is the way in which Oz goes on about his recruitment. He press-gangs this kid at gunpoint to help him bury a body arguing with himself and eventually the kid why shouldn't he just kill him to be safe, while trying to impress the kid with his car and air freshener and later that bullshit about "What, you think I hire any schmuck off the street?". From the tile drop onwards, he's doing everything on the fly while also spinning long-term plans set in motion as soon as he's on screen, he's taking this kid in out of sympathy and because he enjoys a power dynamic over someone weaker than him and because he very much needs someone to help him get stuff done. I'm extremely interested in exploring Penguin having a mentorship dynamic and I'm beyond curious as to what happens with Victor from this point onwards, but that poor kid is in for a terrible fucking time.

Found it very funny how much he half-asses the murder threat to Victor. Like it's his first time actually doing it and he's trying to be serious, but not too scary because he's already seeing himself in the poor kid with a stutter and wants the kid to think he's also a cool guy like he wants everyone to think he's a cool guy. I also think having Victor as the POV helps to sell moments like these, because it's still terrifying to him. Even as we follow their stories, these power players of Gotham are still big scary monsters to people caught in the dregs and Victor helps to reinforce that.

I enjoy Oz being friends with sex workers and drag queens off the street as much as I enjoy Oz being depicted as the kind of guy who deludes himself into thinking the prostitute he's with actually likes him, Lauren and Farrell launched into a bit about in on the podcast and I'm curious to see what's going on with him and Eve here.

Lots of perfect funny little character moments across the whole thing. Oz insulted by the idea of taking extra pickles off a poor kid's dirty mouth, but with zero hesitation whatsoever for picking jewelry off his boss' corpse. Dude is governed by principles even as he actively has to break them to survive.

"Technically it's plum." "He is the - or was the - new kingpin", "He's got nurse-like qualities." The show is not overtly trying to get you to find Penguin likeable as much as it wants you to find him engaging - making you think he's likeable is Colin Farrell's job and he's masterful at it, definitely a lot more matured within the character compared to the movie.

If there's anything in particular I'm thankful for regarding Gotham (well okay Gotham led directly to Telltale Penguin which was the basis for this one, so really I do have a lot more to be thankful with Gotham), it's the decision to give him a legit waddle via the broken foot, but the way they incorporate it here with the club foot does so much for him, so much as a modern day reinvention of The Penguin. Adds so much to why he's never been a serious candidate for mob leadership, why he kinda had to spend all his time in the Lounge, why he actually needs someone to help him run affairs, why he has such a gaping ego wound and is so murderously angry at people making fun of him / calling him a goddamn penguin, adds so much validation and so much darkness and nuance to Oswald's overwhelming anger and bitterness over how the world treats him (and so much power should he opt to reclaim it, in turn). It's the kind of thing that frankly feels like it should have always been part of the character, like what all the previous versions were itching closer to or trying to get at. Of course this is a guy gets called a penguin and he hates it badly enough to murder people over it, of course.

This gets to really highlight how differently Oz acts depending on who he's with. Traditionally, one of my favorite things about The Penguin, and one of the things that puts him above the other villains, is that, due to his position, he has to interact with a lot more people than the other Bat-villains. He has to manage a lot more relationships and dynamics, he has to play peacekeeper and puppetmaster. he's the only one in the United Underworld who's regularly interacting with and recruiting other villains to do business with. He's the guy who you pin stuff on like the Gangland Guardians, Team Penguin, doing betting pools with the Rogues taking cover in his Lounge while Joker War is happening, having to rig games to keep good standing with Maxie Zeus and Frenchy Blake in Batman Audio Adventures, and so on. So I greatly enjoy this beat here of him talking about how makes himself smaller before the Falcones, and that moment of him adjusting his outfit and practicing expressions in the mirror before meeting with them. How he contorts himself is present in all of his relationships, and retroactively adds to the way he carries himself in The Batman.

It seems that Oz is functionally regarded as the Paulie Walnuts of the Falcones: useful muscle, loyal for the most part and amusing to keep around, but largely an unstable self-serving dumb asskisser kept where he belongs, a liability if not kept on a short leash. I think the show does a good job of highlighting all the reasons why Oz has never been seriously regarded as a viable option for a boss, even putting aside his disability. He is a fundamentally embarassing person for these serious respectable criminals to be around and of course, the joke is ultimately on them..

Of course, there is only two people in the show who actually know what he's capable of, Francis Cobb and Sofia Falcone, said to be the central relationships defining the show moving forward. Both of them also a defining commonality with Oswald, being people who are looked down on and dehumanized, and characters who are underestimated until it's time to bear their fangs.

Extremely invested in where they're going with Sofia Falcone, Cristine Milioti's been killing it, and will in fact not stop killing it. What a perfect villain for Penguin they've set up with her, someone who has his Kryptonite: she does not underestimate him. Although we know in advance that Oz is going to live and be in the next movie, the question here isn't even so much who's going to win the gang war, and rather how much damage these two freaks will do to the city until Batman gets back. In many ways, Sofia represents the shape of things to come just as much as he does.

She is this embodiment of both the pristine unfathomable wealth and privilege and power that he both detests and strives for, as well as this brutal new breed of madness and violence attacking the streets that he has to survive against and make deals with (and is himself very much a part of, however he denies it). She is Falcone's legacy in every way that matters, both a Kingpin of Gotham whose existence creates the oppressive conditions under which a Batman or a Riddler are created, as well as the Arkham Rogue, the larger-than-life sadist with a tragic origin and a signature torture-murder method and an embarassing name for the papers.

Even the fact that she is The Hangman, and Carmine was defined around his penchant for brutally strangling women - regardless of whether or not she did the crimes that got her in Arkham, she's become this larger-than-life themed expression of a violent obsession in a way that sets her up as every bit the Batman villain that The Penguin is. The two champions of the two Gothams, duking it out in this new world The Batman and The Riddler made, The Penguin vs The Hangman.

I am so glad Lauren LeFranc made the call for binning Alberto in the first five minutes so the rest of the show can focus on Sofia and make a real character out of her in a way nobody's ever really done before, every step of the way so far LeFranc has been perfectly on the ball about where to take these characters and their conflict. And speaking of those,

I feel very confident in saying that this is the first time anyone's ever really had something worth doing with Oswald's mother as a character in her own right and not just a source of anguish for Penguin (Gotham was almost onto something with Gertrude, but not nearly enough). When it comes to Penguin origin stories, my favorite's always been the Pre-Crisis one, where he's poor and bullied but happy with his mom and birds until she dies and the government seizes everything he has, which doesn't necessarily involve her much. But here? Francine Cobb is a real character in what little time we get to know her, and what a character she is. We quickly understand the role she's playing in Oz's life, not just as his mom and person he loves and strives to protect, but the person who's sculpting him into the man he's going to become.

She is vulnerable and she does need meds and she's not quite all there, and Penguin's need to care for her is visible in other actions of his. But then they turn it around by showing how strong and demanding she is, how she is fiercely ambitious and pushing him to be something he would otherwise not be, how much she loves him and sees greatness in him. She knows he's a people pleaser, she knows how to push his buttons, and she wants him to be more, so of course he's going to be more, because he lives to please his mom.

Related to this is this absolute bullseye of a summation of The Penguin, that Lauren LeFranc delivered in the podcast: "Perhaps his greatest fear is that love is transactional. And that yet, everything he does, every decision he makes, is as if that's true. As if "love is transactional" is a truth he abides by". Oswald's conception of power is being loved and revered like Rex Calabrese, and the love he wants most in all the world is the one from his mother. So in turn this, and all extensions of it, drive him to greater and darker lengths.

He doesn't have that ambition quite down yet, it's his mom that does. She who's pushing him to take over the city and not just be a guy scraping by for survival. He's smart and ambitious and extremely good at slipping out of trouble, but she's pushing him to be the guy who will be taking the city by the horns because that's what he has to be for their sake. Her legacy to her son is nurturing him having that dog in him that will make him the supervillain who picks fights with Vengeance. She is the force that's turning Oswald into The Goddamn Penguin and I can't wait to see how she's developed.

Of course he reprimands Victor in that scene for lacking ambition, who do you think he gets it from?

Really love what they've done with Sal Maroni in here so far. I like adaptations that take these throwaway Batman backstory gangsters and make something out of them, in this case, with Clancy Brown lending his power and voice and reputation as The Grand Boss of Villainy to play the last Respectable Gangster of Gotham, this intimidating principled old tiger who's inversely proportional to how much of a petty and scummy piece of shit Carmine Falcone was. Extremely a guy I'd want to see playing a hand in the creation of Two-Face. Just as crucial is the fact that he is the one who gets the most effortlessly outplayed by Oz here, because this is The Penguin Show: no room for traditional or respectable gangsters anymore, their purpose is to be crapped all over by our wacko birdman.

There's a lot about this that re-contextualizes his behavior in The Batman and the one I'm gonna point out is: even though he can't be sure his plan didn't completely go to shit, he is still keeping his wits and not being terribly scared about being beaten up and tortured and staring down the scariest Falcone with a gun shoved in his throat. But he craps his pants at the sight of the Batmobile. He gets pain, he gets indignity, but he doesn't get Vengeance, what kind of sick freak would come up with the stuff that guy does. A gun in his mouth and Falcone torture is just Tuesday, but a car that wants to eat his soul is some psycho shit he's just not ready to deal with.

It is the delicious tasty fucking irony that Oswald thinks Vengeance is this weird freak who doesn't play or bend to any rules and is here to fuck up everything, just like the madman who flooded the city, and thinks of himself in turn as a justifiable guy standing for the respectable old-fashioned empathetic way of doing things, instead of the exact same thing that Riddler and Batman are. Only Sofia gets what he really is, the same thing as her, and that's why she is the arch-enemy / the biggest thing he's gotta defeat in life for now.

God, how fucking PERFECT it is that he gets caught and tortured because he, after stabbing out a man's eye and causing him to get run over by a schoolbus, stops to wave at the kids in that schoolbus while covered in blood. Just the Rex Calabrese of it all, the self-image, this guy who's both a mean nasty son of a bitch and also a real bleeding heart softie and in ways that ruin his life and allow him to slip and wriggle his way out of shit he has no right to, as demonstrated by the finale.

Thinking about Sofia chastizing Oz saying he thinks she is a toy to play with, while rattling off the ways in which she owns him and everything he has, all the ridiculous little accessories her daddy let him play him, and he in turn is a ridiculous little accessory for the family she is twisting until it breaks. Perfect fucking villain for him. Can't wait to see how badly these two are gonna burn Gotham.

I knew deep in my heart that all I wanted out of a Penguin show, the thing that I simply needed to have in it, was Penguin pulling a heist set-up in advance, and it fucking delivered. He doesn't even complain at Victor for being late, because if anything, getting captured and tortured while the car crashed was even better for him. No, he complains at Victor for not being sufficiently gruesome with the body. See, unlike other cowardly anti-hero reinventions of Bat-villains, the show never wants you to forget that Oz is a weird freak and a disgusting piece of shit, even if he is a very likeable and even aspirational one. Only by the most random stroke of fate it wasn't Victor that he fed to the wolves at that moment, that he sees himself in the kid isn't exactly ensuring that he's gonna make out of this in one piece.

Mr. Vengeance gets Nirvana, and Mr. Boniface gets Dolly Parton, perfect credits.

In conclusion: Out of everything they could have done following the thunderous success of The Batman and it's ensuing influence over the DCU, out of all the offers Reeves must have gotten to helm their new universe after delivering a megahit reinvention of their breadwinner blockbuster character, Matt Reeves went "Nah, I listened to my crew, and what we really want to do is 8 hours of television about the waddling freak who's in my movie for 10 minutes", and he and his crew deserve the world for that. I dreamed as a kid of getting to make a big Penguin story or show, a wild impossible idea that would never actually happen, and now it's here and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

I'm fit to burst with joy and riding a high of no longer having to hunt for scraps and washing away decades of put-downs for the character and enjoying a Penguin renaissance like one I never imagined happening. I am extremely not an unbiased reviewer here, this show rules and I've waited for it since I was a kid and it's here, drink it the fuck in cause it's only the beginning.

#dc comics #dc #the penguin #penguin #oswald cobblepot #oswald cobb #hbo #max #the penguin hbo #matt reeves #lauren lefranc #mike marino #colin farrell

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culkinzzz · 2 months ago

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kieran culkin on jay leno for the mighty (1998)

transcript below

JL: Happy Birthday, you just had a birthday.

KC: Yes I did.

JL: So you're what?

KC: September 30th, I'm 16.

JL: 16?

KC: Yes.

JL: Okay, did you get your drivers license, did you do that whole thing?

KC: No, I live in New York, you don't need a car there.

JL: Really, see, that's the first thing, when I got to 16 I couldn't wait to roll in my mom's Falcon, that was sort of the big deal. Then within a week I had an accident. So you have no desire to get a license?

KC: No, no, I'm a New Yorker dammit!

JL: And the dammit proves it.

KC: Dammit, yeah!

JL: So did you have a big party, the whole family?

KC: Yes, my whole family was there and a couple friends, and a lot of presents!

JL: And there is a lot of, how many in your family, how many kids?

KC: I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters.

JL: Okay, well that's pretty big. I know your brother Macaulay just got married recently.

KC: Yes.

JL: Was that a big wedding?

KC: It was a very small wedding but it was beautiful, it was great.

JL: He was, what was he, 18 or 19?

KC: He was 17 when he got married, he turned 18 in August.

JL: Wow! Would you wanna get married in two years?

KC: (looks at audience) Uh, I don't know, is anyone single or free?

(girls start cheering)

JL: Well, there you go. Well, at 16 now, is this your last Halloween, or do you still go out and…

KC: I'm gonna get dressed up every year, I don't know how long I'll be trick or treating. I'll be 80 years old and still trick or treating.

JL: Well, that's okay.

KC: Yeah, not bad.

JL: Did you and your brother hang on Halloween or did you go your own separate ways? Did you go out together?

KC: We always went together, up until a certain point, but he used to play tricks on me on Halloween.

JL: Yeah?

KC: When we were really little, I remember I'd always wear this Casper mask. It was like the third year in a row I was Casper, and I really hated it, and my brother Mac, he had a devil mask, and I wanted the devil so badly. I'd always beg him, I asked him, 'Please, can I have the devil mask?', and he said 'No, no, it's my mask'. One time, we're out on the streets of New York trick or treating, he runs up way ahead of everybody, with the devil mask on, and does trick or treating there and gets a lot of candy. Then he comes back to me and goes 'Okay, you can have the devil mask,' and we switch masks, he takes the Casper, we go in there, say trick or treat, and then the guy's like 'No no, you already came here, no candy, no candy for you'. I missed out on all the candy. But, I told my mom about it, and uh, she made him give me a lot of candy!

JL: Well, that's very good.

KC: Oh yeah! I ended up with a lot more candy than he did.

JL: So what are you doing this year?

KC: I have two ideas. Me and my friend are pairing up together. They're these two wrestlers called the New Age Outlaws. I'm into wrestling by the way.

JL: You know, I do some wrestling.

KC: Oh you do, yeah, I saw that.

JL: Were you rooting for me?

KC: No.

JL: Now what do you mean no? You were rooting for Hogan and that idiot Bischoff?

KC: Yeah, I'm an NWO fan, what can I say?

JL: Oh man, now you see your guys got slapped around.

KC: Yeah, but you see, that wasn't all you. You didn't get the win, that was your man Kevin over there.

JL: Kevin and I are a team. Did you bet money on that fight?

KC: No I didn't.

JL: Good thing you didn't cause you would have lost! Big time!

KC: I would've lost.

JL: Big time!

KC: Yes.

JL: Big time! Okay, now tell me about The Mighty. I must say you did wonderful. I saw this film and I had no idea what I was seeing, I just knew, there is this new movie and you were gonna be on, and okay, and Sharon is in it, and everything, I was really blown away. I thought it was a wonderful, wonderful story. Tell folks who you play and a little bit of what's it about.

KC: Um, my character is Kevin Dillon, um, but the movie, uh, I have morquio syndrome in the movie.

JL: Is that like muscular dystrophy or something?

KC: Uh, all I know about it is that your body grows to a certain point like Kevin Dillon's body grew to age 14, but his organs, like his heart and his brain keep growing.

JL: Oh I see, so he…

KC: Yeah, eventually. But the movie is about how these two kids form a partnership, and they go on quests because they like King Arthur and his noble knights and they read that and through the power of imagination they do good deeds.

JL: Well, it's really a wonderful story, and it's not like a kids story, it's an adult story that adults and kids can like, I mean, I just thought it was very enjoyable. Here it is, oh, here you're going to see your friend who's like, I call him the big dumb guy.

KC: No, that's not true, he's not dumb.

JL: Well, in the beginning that's what you think he is, but he's not really like that.

#kieran #kieran culkin #culkin brothers #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #wallace wells #scott pilgrim vs the world #igby goes down #igby slocumb #the mighty #freak the mighty #jay leno #interview #late night talk show #1998

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hms-no-fun · 7 months ago

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Tell us about Dill and Alexander! I kinda picture them in my head as Kermit and that blue eagle Muppet but gay and gamer/greasy mechanic. Is that where you got the idea? Is sburb's frog fascination gonna play into the story of these boyos?

oh what's that? you want to be the captive audience for a lore dump about my very special guys? completely unprompted and with total investment in everything i might have to say? well well, don't mind if i do!

SO, Dill Croaker and Alexander Falcon are members of a now-defunct group called The Falconers. they are modeled after Star Fox (the team) from Star Fox (the video games). we haven't seen Alex on screen yet, but here's @girlpillz's rendering of Dill for B1 verse 1, where Lenore Lehart shows off her sick bouncy ball skills for Dana Straten to get the attention of Dill.

Alex being a blue falcon, i imagine he looks legally distinct from Falco Lombardi from Star Fox (the video games; the team) albeit less cocky and attitudinous.

there are technical reasons for The Falconers' existence. going into 3.2B, i knew i wanted a secondary supporting cast in the margins capable of handling dirtywork off-screen. for instance, they're decrypting and analyzing Lenore's stolen witch data so the main cast doesn't have to worry about it, leaving us more time to luxuriate in what we're actually here for: feelings.

Star Fox 64 is my favorite game, so when it came time to come up with that supporting cast, the possibilities of a knockoff Star Fox team immediately sold me on the idea (especially since this is the only story where i will ever reasonably be able to get away with such a blatant act of self-indulgence. you wouldn't believe it from looking, but i don't actually do a lot of indulging myself with Godfeels. i try very hard to never throw things in without serious calculation. The Falconers are pretty much the only thing i've introduced that came as an inorganic external mandate of my own selfish making, and even then i've worked very hard to integrate them naturally). as a broken up four-person crew, they mirror the Upsilons-- and so, them helping the Falconers reunite in order to find Alphi and Edie gives these guys some juice. their backstory is a shadow of the Upsilons', and a useful point of comparison as the narrative plugs along. i could've made a girl Star Fox team, but frankly Godfeels is just so women-centered, so female-focused, so tgirl-transfixed that i figured it was about time to throw the boylikers a bone.

The Falconers are balanced as a calculated twist on the Star Fox team. the most immediate difference is that here, Alexander Falcon fills the role of Fox McCloud. he's the charismatic team leader, a little surly (especially these days) but good at his job and deeply committed to the care of his team. Dill Croaker is, obviously, only about five runs through the dryer away from Slippy Toad, and fills the same role. my reason for this is that everyone is mean to Slippy and they're wrong. Slippy is a brilliant engineer and programmer, why do you expect him to be an ace fighter pilot too? that's YOUR job, hotshot! Nintendo themselves have been all over the map with Slippy in terms of characterization, pretty much never getting him quite as right as he felt in 64. so, yeah, Dill is my take on Slippy: a clueless gamer frog who plays with a lot of edgelords but is himself impervious to their venom. he never cusses because he's a good boy, and he respects women.

Dill and Alex have lived together on Crime Planet for a long time. are they fucking? no, i don't believe they are. Dill strikes me as something of an ace king, and anyway i don't think he's Alex's type. mostly they work together in the shop and hang out doing bro stuff. maybe Alex lifts weights while Dill plays shitty space MOBAs. but all this begs the question: who is Alex's type?

as of the B1 solo we've learned a little bit about the other two Falconers. first there is Erol [last name unknown], the oldest member of the crew who's likely analogous to Peppy Hare. which leaves us with Yolo Sionnach. a lot of information can be implied about him from this exchange:

yes, a lot of information indeed. but as much as i would love to enumerate the implications, i must hold my tongue. i mean, i would type it all out, but i can't, because i'm literally using my fingers to hold my tongue in place so that i can't say the spoilers out loud

anyway, i like the muppet comparison. that wasn't what i had in mind at all, but now i'm imagining the Falconers as the puppets Nintendo used to advertise Star Fox Zero and........ ohhhh scope creep you saucy temptress

youtube

the Slippy slander is rampant! and that's to say nothing of the ad where muppet versions of Satoru Iwata, Shigeru Miyamoto, and Reggie Fils-Aime slowly transform into Peppy, Fox, and Falco respectively.

i can't say that Sburb/the Universe Engine have much to do with The Falconers' story. they're not godtier, they don't know anything about the UE, they are literally just space mercenary furries. they come from the Lemurian Star System, trained at the Academy on Lemuria, and worked in the Lemurian Sky Corps until starting their own independent outfit as contractors (which i imagine is a fairly common career path in a region racked by interplanetary war and rampant espionage). age-wise, they're in their mid 30s.

thank you for this wonderful question. no one ever asks about the other guys, and i am always dying to talk about the other guys.

#sarahposts #godfeels #homestuck #the falconers #star fox

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wheredostarsgowhenyoudie · 2 years ago

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Once upon a time when employees are being interviewed at SI:

Interviewer: So what is it like working for Iron Man?

Employee A: Oh! Easy question. I like that. It is an honor, you know. It's what I thought when I joined, and it still is now. But also, I did not expect that SI is a place where we are allowed to prioritize things like family. Like last time, I left my phone on silent at my desk cause I had to go to a meeting. My kid at home was having an emergency and I couldn't be reached. But apparently, Friday, Mr. Stark's AI, keeps track of phone vibrations so she made the report and someone came to notify me. I didn't even know there was a protocol for that. Turns out my daughter was having her period for the first time! And I'm a single father so I had no idea what to do and I was panicking. Next thing I know, an SI nurse came and apparently she was sent by Mr. Stark to walk me through how to help. Apparently, Fri also caught my panic rumblings and triggered 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE PROTOCOL' or something. (*laughing*) The next week, we received an official email introducing a new department called Human Care. They encourage everyone to reach out if we ever find ourselves out of our depths on non company emergency matters.

Interviewer: How long have you been working here?

Employee B: Eight years, two months, six days and counting.

Interviewer: What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed here?

Employee B: (blanks out)

Employee B (struggling to think): Ahm. Really? Just one? Er- That's a tough one. Maybe that one time they set up a room for everyone to try lifting Thor's hammer? Or wait, no, maybe that time there when flying roombas were everywhere following Mr. Stark and reminding him to eat? Or when a villain came via the vents but before he could come down, Hawkeye accidentally hit him with pepper spray? I don't know, man. Weird things happen a lot. We're used to it by now.

Interviewer: Do you feel safe working here?

Employee C: Yeah. The avengers live here. But to tell you the truth, I think Happy Hogan and his black tux team of agents scare all the potential bad guys away. I heard rumors that Black Widow personally trains them. Like, I know two of them. Jake, for instance. He's like a giant, and he is intimidating but I saw him crying one time and when I asked him why, he just said Mr. Hogan.

Interviewer: Which avenger have you met?

Employee D: Oh, I've met two of them. Captain America and Thor. It was odd but one time, they were in the cafeteria and carrying trays of food and I do not mean just one each. Nope. Like, a ton! Like they're feeding an army. But it makes sense. Can you imagine the workout? With bodies like theirs? And the battles they go to? Man, if I have to save the world from aliens, I'll probably need the same nutrition.

Interviewer: Which avenger is the kindest?

Employee E: Ahm...We all know they're all badass. But kindest, I think Spider-Man. Last Thursday, it was raining, and then Spidey suddenly came all wet and holding a box and I'm gonna quote him now. He said, "Friday, can you please ask Mr. Sam Wilson Falcon sir to come down? The shelter is close and I have a box of puppies and I really, really want to bring them up but Mr. Stark is gonna ban me from the lab again."

Interviewer: Aww. So what happened next? What did they do with the puppies?

Employee E (grinning): Falcon came down, alright. But he came with Iron Man who zoomed past everyone to drag Spidey to the penthouse. I am not sure what I heard but he was muttering about oven toasters and frozen spiderlings? In the end, aome employees volunteered to take care of them. But I believe two of them are at the avengers' floor. We saw Mr. Stark ranting about puppy paw paint marks on his armani.

Interviewer (gasps): Oh my. Was he mad?

Employee E (ends up laughing): Mad? Try grunting fondly? Peter really likes those puppies. Mr. Stark tried to act like he hates them but really, he adores everything about the kid, puppies included. He even had custom made collars with avengers logo made for them.

Interviewer: I'm sorry? The Winter Soldier was asking directions to where?

Employee F: The Lego Store.

Interviewer: How would you describe the workload? Do you still get work life balance?

Employee G: I guess it depends. I work in R&D and we're all nerds there. So like, we're typically busy but it's play for us. Some days, we're really cramped with work, mostly when deadlines are nearing or sometimes, we're just really in the zone, we do not want to stop. Peter activated 'NIGHT NIGHT PROTOCOL' for that. Had Fri lock us out of the lab and we had no choice but to go home or nap at the sleep wing. And would you believe? After the product launch, we got emails on mandatory vacation leaves with bonus to spend! Like, who does that? So yeah, it's cool working here.

And then, there was this:

Interviewer: How does it feel to be the heir of a multibillion dollar top green tech company?

Peter (stares quizzically, dumb-founded): Uhhh-....Look, sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. I'm not- Maybe you got the wrong questionnaire? I'm just an intern-

Interviewer: Oh. Wait. Is it top secret then? Sorry, I was told of your identity as Mr. Stark's kid so I thought I could ask. But if you're not comfortable-

Peter: WHAT!?? Who said that? They're probably just joking.

Interviewer (chuckles nervously): Ms. Potts did actually.

Peter (freezes): Oh.

Suddenly the door opens and Tony walks in.

Tony: Hey kid, and Ms. Carrenland. How's the interview going? Thought I'd drop by for moral support, you know.

Peter (looks torn, but excuses himself to go to Tony): Uhm, Mr. Stark, can I talk to you for a second? Look, sir, ahm, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The interviewer asks me how it feels to be your heir. Like that's real. I don't-

Tony (has his brows rising to his hairline): Kid. Peter. Breathe.

Peter (groans and sighs embarrassingly): I just didn't want to lie! They mistook me for someone else. It was a misunderstanding!

Tony (smirking): It's really not.

Peter: What?

Tony: Kiddo, I was the one who gave Pep the approval to sign the questions. And really, you've been managing the R&D department and shadowing Pep at management for a year now. You never wondered why I make you do that?

Peter: Oh.

Tony: Yup. Genius child here.

Peter: I just wanted to help. You seem stressed out with the Avengers' work and dealing with the government. I thought I could lend a hand. I didn't- I don't expect you to- I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark.

Tony (scoffs): I beg to differ. Look, I'll be honest with you. Even if you aren't interested in the company, it's still gonna be yours. Look around you, kid. Do you think I let just anyone go around with a free pass at my tower? You have a room at my home. This place is your home, as where as everywhere else that I own. Plus, it's another motivation for you to take care of yourself when you go out as Spidey. Imagine all our employees. They need you, kiddo.

Peter (mumbling softly): I'm just Peter Parker.

Tony (smiles and pats his shoulder): And that is why I chose you.

#irondad #irondad & spiderson #ironfam #spiderson #spider-man #iron man #avengers #mcu #tony stark #peter parker & tony stark #peter parker tom holland #peter parker #stark industries #incorrect marvel #incorrect avengers #incorrect irondad and spiderson #fun fics

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9mothsinspace · 8 months ago

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Hearth Cat and Winter Wren

Okay, so I randomly found a dragonlance novel in an old book store with a collection of short stories.

One of which describes a small adventure the original companions had before the war of the lance when they were still in Solace.

And ppl, it's adorable so i'm gonna do a summary and share the good bits here. (Spoilers. Obviously)

We're starting out with a squirrel having a conversation with a cat. The squirrel is distraught because it's caged, afraid of the cat, and hardly fed. It is having strange dreams, though. And squirrel are not supposed to have dreams.

Cut to the Flint. He is in his house, carving, surrounded by some of his young companions and trying hard not to show that he's worried for Tasslehoff. Because he's run off after a 'talking wren' some days ago.

Back to the squirrel and the cat. The cat reveals that it hasn't always been a cat and suspects the squirrel hasn't always been a squirrel either.

To everyone's surprise, a talking wren does indeed turn up in Solace. She tells Sturm and the others that she was turned by a mage, along with a man called Petyr who got turned into a cat. And a kender who became a squirrel. They decide to hurry to their rescue. Raistlin has a plan.

So, (never mind that he shouldn't hold such power yet. He hasn't even taken the test at this point.) Raistlin turns Flint into a shepherd dog, Sturm into a falcon, Caramon into a panther, and Tanis into a fox.

They infiltrate the mage's house, overpower him and force him to turn back bird, cat, and squirrel. Raistlin deals with the mage.

And afterwards, companions and the two rescued people gather in Flint's house again and he gives Wren his carving.

Adorable, right?

The story was written by Nancy Varian Berberick and published in this book:

#dragonlace #raistlin majere #Flint #Tasslehoff burrfoot #Caramon majere #tanis half elven #sturm brightblade

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crow-aeris · 1 year ago

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A Reverse-Robin Wingfic / To Brace Upon Benign Feathers

It starts kinda crack-ish, but then gets kinda emotional-y towards the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

===

"TIM!"

He jerked awake, blinking at the ceiling in confusion as his brain slowly registered where he was.

"Tim!" the voice came again, followed by a body slamming into his chest.

"Oomf!" Tim grunted as the air was violently knocked out of his chest. With a tight expression, he reached up and carded a hand through his brother's hair, "Morning, Dick."

"Hi!" the newest addition to the family chirped brightly, his sapphire eyes glowing as bright as a 200,000 lumens flashlight. Brighter than the sun, even. The blue reminds him of Kon and the alien's blue eyes that looked like a wolf-rayet star.

"What time is it?" Tim mumbled, wincing as the five-year-old crawled over him, digging his knee into Tim's kidney and accidentally stepping on his wing.

"It's time for you to get your a- butt in gear and move," Jason called from the door. “Damian’s making breakfast, so Duke asked us to come and wake you.”

Tim groaned, dropping his head back until it banged loudly against the headboard. Maybe if he hit his head hard enough, he could go back to sleep.

Dick cheered when he spotted Jason, the Ficher's Lovebird's bright red-yellow-green wings flaring out as he launched himself at the teen.

Jason grunted as Dick slammed into him but managed to keep his grip steady.

"Hurry up and get ready," Jason said. The cardinal shifted, folding his bright crimson wings against his back as Dick tucked his face into Jason's neck, "B said he's gonna take up to the zoo."

"Zoo! I wanna go to the zoo!" Dick's head shot up as he clutched Jason's shirt.

"I know, Dickie," Jason rolled his eyes fondly, "that's why we're going."

"Okay!" the fledgling chirped, "Tim!"

"Yes?" He lifted his head from the pillow with a slow and tired blink. What he'd give to have Kon here right now.

"Get! Up!" Dick demanded. Jason, the traitor, just laughed. "Or else I'll tell Dami to come get you!"

The falcon hummed, waiting until his brothers disappeared from the doorframe before flipping over and shoving his face back into the pillow.

Everything ached, his back especially, and it wasn't because of Kon, okay, Jason? Tim had been fighting Killer Croc last night, and that bastard got lucky and slammed Tim against a brick wall. His right arm was a huge-ass bruise, and he was not excited to get up.

Maybe if he pretended to be dead, Damian would leave him be...

Who is he kidding? If the harpy eagle was willing to drag a pit-crazed Tim from the brink of suicide, then he was more than willing to dunk Tim in the pits.

Just as he was about to doze off, there was a knock on the doorframe.

"What?" Tim -whined- groaned, not bothering to lift his head from the pillow.

"Hey, Ducky," an amused voice called.

He pouted, turning his head to glare balefully at Duke. The mourning dove smiles, lifting a brow in amusement. Traitor.

"Leave me alone, Duke," Tim grumbled, thankful that Alfred had all the pillows and sheets in Tim's room reinforced since the last time he had a Pit-episode... It had been a whole thing...

Duke raised another eyebrow, mimicking Alfred's patented Disappointed Stare™ quite successfully. Tim doesn't doubt that, at this point, Duke could get even Damian to bend to his will.

And just like Alfred's own stares, Tim, frustratingly, folded under pressure.

For fuck's sake- he was supposed to Wraith, the dead spirit of the Bat's second Shadow revived and out to hunt ne'er do wells as well as the Bats themselves- his goddamn reputation!

"What reputation, Tim?" Duke laughed before strolling over and yanking the covers off of him.

God, Tim hates it when he says things out loud. A side effect of being locked away by Ra's in an attempt to break his spirit or whatever.

He grumbled as Duke hauled him up and out of bed. Annoyingly, the Lazarus pits healed his shitty eyes, that one scar he got from following Shadow around, and the gash in his throat, but not his fucking height. Instead, Tim has to be stuck in this measly five-foot-seven-inch body, while Duke, Bruce, and Damian all got to be fucking six-foot-plus behemoths.

A shake snapped Tim out of his misery.

"Did you even hear what I said?" Duke asked incredulously.

"No," Tim huffed, "I was distracted and decided not to listen to your stupid voice saying stupid stuff."

"Says that one in air jail," Duke replied smugly. Shit, he's right. That fucker. "Tim, I can practically hear you cussing me out. Keep doing this, and I'll have Bruce and Damian hide your coffees and Red Bulls."

"W-"

"And your monsters."

Tim gasped, "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me. Now go get ready. We leave in an hour, and you don't even have a shirt on, Tim."

"It's a fashion choice," he hissed, "you wouldn't understand because you're stupid!"

Duke sighed, plopping Tim onto the floor. He wasn't even surprised when the falcon went boneless, turning into a limp pile of loose limbs and angry hissing, "You're such a child, Ducky."

"This is because I'm gay, isn't it!" Tim demanded, snapping to his feet and flaring out his wings, "This is homophobia!"

"Of course, it is," Duke drily responded before he turned and made for the door, "I'll send Damian up in ten minutes. If you haven't gotten ready by then, I'm allowing him to dress you however he likes."

Duke closed the door gently, but he might as well have slammed it from how ruffled it left him.

Honestly, the gall! How has he, Wraith, Ra's desired heir to the fucking Damon's Fang, fallen so far from his formidable glory?

Nevertheless, Tim forced himself to get ready. He brushed his teeth and washed his face- even "Serial Killers" need clear skin, but was killing fifteen of Black Mask's and the Joker's most trusted really considered killing? Bruce was just overreacting!- and then threw on a short-sleeved shirt, hoodie over that, washed-out ripped jeans, and called it a day.

Tim groaned, desperately craving coffee, caffeine, or something to stave off the complete and utter exhaustion pooling in his head. This was terrible, horrible, and a vile thing to do.

"Timothy," Damian said from where he stood at the table, a plate held in the eagle's hands. He was wearing a bright pink apron covered with flour, and Jason was behind him, wearing a matching pink apron and holding a plate, too. "You finally decided to show your face and detach yourself from that hovel."

"If you want, I could always go back to my so-called Hovel," Tim tilted his head in a challenge.

"Tt," Damian scoffed before sliding a plate to Tim's spot, "Seeing as you have already decided to show your face, and Richard somehow tolerates you, it would be more efficient if you remain here."

Dick was already seated with a glass of strawberry milk, and his pancakes were half-finished and absolutely drowning in maple syrup. Bruce was directly across from Dick, and his pancakes were far more respectable with butter, syrup, bacon, and a cup of coffee. Duke was beside Dick, and he had a plate with fresh fruit, powdered sugar, and a glass of orange juice. Alfred sat at the head of the table with his English breakfast, tea, and a proud smile. Cass was next to Bruce with a bowl of fruit, orange juice, toast, and multiple slices of stolen bacon.

Hesitantly, Tim sat down at the end of the table as Jason rushed over to fill the empty chair between Tim and Duke. Damian, the bull-headed son of a bitch -that bitch being Bruce, because Tim would never call Talia a bitch- decided the best seat wasn't going to be next to Cass, but instead the seat directly in front of Tim. Not in front of Jason, but in front of Tim.

Instead of confronting his feelings like a well-adjusted member of society should, Tim decided the best course of action was to examine his plate of pancakes.

It had fudge drizzled over the top, dusted lightly with powdered sugar, and freshly diced strawberries were placed like a crown with their leaves carefully removed and tossed in a barely noticeable syrup. There was a small bowl of strawberry-lemon zest jam on the edge of Tim's plate, and he could tell that whoever positioned it was diligent. Not a single speck of powdered sugar got onto the outside of the tiny bowl...

Every part of this plate looked like it had been prepared in a five-star restaurant. What more was that this was exactly the same kind of pancakes Damian would make for him as an apology back when Tim was Shadow...

Suddenly, his eyes were beginning to sting, and Tim could feel Damian's stare carve holes into the top of his head. And then, Damian slid over a cup of steaming coffee, and just by looking at it, he knew Damian had made it the way Tim loved.

It was a declaration, an apology, and a promise all wrapped in a simple breakfast…

He took a deep breath and cut into his pancakes, forcing himself to hold back tears as his family chattered around him.

Even after everything that has happened, his flock still accepted him.

Even after everything, Tim was still loved.

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ao3feed-sambucky · 11 days ago

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We're gonna need some more pasta

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/YN2djBP by thinkingabouttheromanempire “I love you too.” Bucky hangs up the call and turns to the team. Surprisingly, they’re already staring straight at him. Most of them look confused or surprised, for some reason. Bucky dismisses it. “Alright team, bad news-” John Walker cuts him off. “Wait, wait. I thought you were talking to Sam Wilson.” Ava piped in, annoyed. “He was, idiot.” “Uh, no,” John laughs. “Cause he just said ‘I love you,’ so it’s obviously not Sam.” Bucky rubs his temple. “How much did you guys hear?” *** Or, The one where the team finds out about SamBucky after a very gay phone call Or even, The one where Sam and Bucky have a healthy separation between work and personal life Words: 812, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Thunderbolts (Movie 2025), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), John Walker (Marvel), Ava Starr, Yelena Belova, Robert "Bob" Reynolds, Alexei Shostakov Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson Additional Tags: Crack, Kinda, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Established Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Fix-It of Sorts, Spoilers for Movie: Thunderbolts (2025), POV Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Coming Out, Thunderbolts Team Members as Family (Marvel), Thunderbolts Team Members Live in the Watchtower | New Avengers Tower (Marvel), Bucky Barnes is So Done, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Everyone hates Valentina, John Walker is annoying, John Walker is absolutely clueless, Sam and Bucky are not divorced, Yelena knows things, Post-Movie: Thunderbolts (2025), I Wrote This Instead Of My Paper read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/YN2djBP

#Bucky #Captain America #Winter Soldier #Sam Wilson #James Barnes #Falcon #SamBucky #BuckySam #IFTTT #ao3feed

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cherlawa-panna · 2 months ago

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What’s your favorite crackship with Barney? Ones that I like but am too lazy to write a fic about are Barney x Bucky (which would have the ship name barnbarn ofc) or Barney x Thor (for the potential of them snitching on each others brothers to each other, given that Barney is villaining in the same general vicinity as Loki like in a team or smth).

I only realized after I wrote out this ask how much it aligns with my username lmao

MY TIME HAS CAME!!!!

I had ships with Barney in my heart, but I can't force myself to write 😭 and omg I never thought about Barney/Bucky or Barney/Thor. You need to tell me more about your vision because it sounds soooo good omg. Especially about BARNBARN. GET INTO MY DMS RIGHT NOW!!!! Also I love how it fits so well with your url lmao.

Okay, okay. Let's go with my fave crack ships I made of with this asshole. I'm not mentioning Simone and Barney, since they seems to be canon in All-New Hawkeye and we're talking about crack ship (but I love them dearly).

Barney Barton x John Walker

HEAR ME OUT. They were in the same team together during Dark Avenegrs 2012, SO IT COULD BE POSSIBLE. They weren't friends or anything, they didn't even like each other but I think it could be a beautiful crackship.

But the best POTENTIAL would be in MCU au. Every time I imagine Barney in the MCU, I see him as a veteran who served with John Walker and Lemar Hoskins in the army. If I had more energy, I’d probably write a whole ass fic about Barney in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I bet he wouldn’t even know that John became Captain America because I can see him not watching the news at all And he would be so bewildered if someone told him like"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GUY I BULLIED IN THE ARMY IS THE NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA???"

In this fic, Barney and John had at least one hookup during their service, but Bernard wouldn't even treat it seriously. Like, do you know about this stereotype of a boomer dad who’s unknowingly bisexual and says things like, "Oh yeah, Timmy’s my best friend, and if he were a woman, I’d marry him," or "I hooked up with my best friend in college because we didn’t have any luck with girls and were too horny. Just two friends helping each other out." Yeah, that's Barney. He's not ashamed of it; tbh he is blunt and SHAMELESS about his experiences with men and be like "Every guy at least thought once what it’d be like to be with another man. It's normal stfu" and Clint’s having a full-on aneurysm "NO???? IT"S NOT???"

"Oh, we were just two pent-up guys in the army, lol." And Barney casually dropping that info at the most random moment, like it’s no big deal.

Honestly, this would be hilarious in a Barney/Bucky fic. Imagine Bucky just finding out Barney had a thing with John, and his reaction goes through the phases:

"Oh my god, this guy's not straight—THANK GOD I have a chance" Then, it turns into "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HOOKED UP WITH THIS FAKE ASS CAPTAIN AMERICA??" And then "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN MEN? YOU LITERALLY FUCKED—"

Anyway. I see ship John and Barney only being used as a "something that happened in the past and it's not a big deal" trope with Clint dying inside. They wouldn't be a good couple anyway.

Barney Barton x Marcella Carson

Marcella is Carson's daughter and the new owner of the circus after her parents retired (I say parents because in All-New Hawkeye, Carson is called Mrs. and everywhere else Mr. So unless Carson is genderfluid or trans, I'm gonna accept that both of her parents were owners). She was showed ONLY ONCE and it was in Avengers #223 (1982) when she asked Clint to get rid of Jacques who stole the carnival and become the new boss.

We don't know SHIT about her - she was just a pretty damsel in distress. But I have so many headcanons for her (if someone is interested, I can post them). And I sometimes picture her as Barney's ex girlfriend or situationship. Clint called her a "tomboy" who prefers doing tough jobs like cleaning up after animals rather than "girly things," so she probably worked with Barney. I imagine her having a bad temperament and anger issues, so you can bet that she and Barney had the loudest fights that everyone in the city could heard lol. And in my mind, she left his ass for someone else and that's why they broke up. They were ✨✨toxic✨✨

Since it was revealed in Blindspot that Barney taught Clint about talking to girls, then he was literally like:

I don't see Marcy getting back with Barney after he left the circus. In fact, they didn't stay in contact at all. Maybe she visited him once when he was in jail, but that's it.

I just ship them because I fixated on Marcella once because she seems to be a fun character. She has interesting desing and she's THE DAUGHTER OF CARSON,,, ANR SHE LITERALLY WROTE A LETTER TO CLINT AND WAS LIKE "hey, I know that circus traumatized your ass and you hate us because of that, but can you get the rid of this pest that stole my job?? thx"

Barney Barton x Allan Scofield

This is the guy who wrote in Hawkeye 2002 to Clint after Barney's funeral.

AND HE NEVER APPEARED EVER AGAIN. But don't worry, I still have a lot of headcanons about him and somewhere on pc his desing I made years ago.

I’ve actually got a WIP fic for this ship called "I had all the evidence that you were here". It focuses on Allan’s grief over Barney—mainly dealing with Barney's "deaths" and the person he became after turning into Trickshot. It's all about Allan coming to terms with the changes in Barney and trying to navigate the emotional wreckage left in the wake of everything that’s happened. Maybe I'll post it one day.

I mostly see them as friends, since I headcanon Allan as having a wife and kids, but I can't help but maybe in different time and under different circumstances, they would have been together. It's just one of those tragic "what if" things.

But Allan is totally "I'M NOT GAY!!!! I CAN'T BE GAY NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and Barney "Homies being homies".

Barney Barton x Bruce Banner

I don't have too much to say about it. I just think it would be fun dynamic because I read some Bruce's comics last year. I can picture Barney sitting in Bruce's lab, doing crosswords or sudoku while Bruce is busy with his science stuff. Bruce would ramble on about random topics, and Barney, who doesn't know anything about science, would just sit there, barely understanding a word but still listening.

I had more ships but I don't remember right now lmao. And these three are my faves.

It was fun. Thanks for ask bestie ♥

#barney barton #marvel #comics #my posts #hawkeye #marvel 616 #marcella carson #allan scofield #bruce banner #john walker #ask

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dc-x-marvel · 3 months ago

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We're so back with Captain America: Brave New World!

It's been a while since I've participated in Marvel content. Last movie I saw was Deadpool & Wolverine. The only series I've touched were Wandavision and Ms. Marvel (cuz they're my faves and to understand their movies better). I didn't think I could get tired of superhero stuff, but I did: I felt the burnout.

I was dragged back in because of Sambucky. So much so, I watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier series to see what Marvel would do and better understand this movie. Y'all, I may have initially been drawn in by Sambucky, but I stayed for Sam's storyline. I was apprehensive at first cuz I wasn't sure how they'd handle Sam as Captain America, but by the end of the series I was more comfortable with their approach. So, by the time the movie came out I was intrigued on what would happen next. I won't lie, the Sambucky scene also had me hooked.

There is no denying that Sam Wilson is Captain America. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly a liar who lies (🙄). He has all the badassery and kindness of Captain America. And he doesn't have the super serum!!! My jaw dropped at all his fight scenes and when I found out he was multilingual. Like yeah of course he is, duh! Man of the people! His counseling skills were so awesome. So kind and empathetic! That's why Steve gave him the shield!! Every time someone called him Cap I got a rush of joy. The burnout I felt just evaporated or melted away. I cannot wait to hear him say "Avengers Assemble!" It's probably gonna send chills down my spine.

Joaquin Torres was also fun to watch. He is so funny and relatable. The way he played the game on the old cell was funny and a mood. He is gonna be a great Falcon. I wonder what color his suit will be?

Isaiah Bradley's scenes were also great and made me cry. My man has been through too much. The scene with Sam and him at the prison hurt. I was weeping at the end of it. I panicked when the other prisoners were shot cuz I thought they got him too. I actually sighed in relief when I found out he was alright. I'm so glad he is out. I wonder what's next for him? Hope it's better than what he went through in this movie.

I kinda feel bad that I misjudged Ruth Bat-Seraph. Guess my biases were showing, but I'm glad for her assistance. I wonder if she can be seen in the background of the Black Widow movie? Probably not.

Now, about Sambucky. Sam was so glad he was there. They both closed their eyes when they hugged. Bucky gave him a powerful speech. Sure he may have had some help from writers, but it was still from his heart! Bucky said "I love you, buddy." Gahhhh! They're so good together. Did Sam inspire him to run for Congress? Congressman James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes? How will that play out in Thunderbolts*?

I don't have much to say about Thaddeus Ross. I'm glad he is working on himself. Shouldn't have kept Stern locked up, but baby steps I guess? It was awesome seeing Betty Ross again tho! Hope she sticks around.

Overall, a great movie. Very little issues I can think about right now. Lighting and dialogue were pretty good for once.

Rating: 9/10

#captain america brave new world #my review #sam wilson #marvel cinematic universe #sambucky #to a degree #quite a long one but I had stuff to say 🤷

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inlovewithalotoffandoms · 11 months ago

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Ski lodge trip||Part 2

Steve Rogers x teen!daughter!reader

Natasha Romanoff x teen!daughter!reader

Other parings: Josh Matthews x reader

Warning: Overprotective Steve, kissing, cuteness.

Authors Note: Hi everyone! It's finally here! I am so sorry for the long wait. I have been really busy and haven't had the chance to finish this one, as well as not having the best storyline figured out at that time. But now that it's here, I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you all for reading my fics. I really appreciate it.

"What the hell is that?" You asked as Bucky brought out a book.

"This, this is a game we're gonna play. It's called the official guide to who belongs with who." Bucky replied.

"The book's gonna tell us?" Josh scoffs with an eye roll.

"No! I remember that book. That book, is evil." Tony states as his eyes widen in horror at seeing the book again. He then continued,

"The first question is 'If you could change your mate into one animal, what would it be' and the only answer is 'the falcon'."

Bruce and Peter look at him in disbelief.

Steve stares at Tony, "How would you know that?"

Tony glances between everyone in the room and exclaims, "Because I am the Falcon!"

"Of course you are," Nat mumbled. You and Josh glanced at each other, grinning.

"Let's play!" You state, walking over to the couch Josh was sitting on and cuddled up to him.

"Let's find out who belongs with who," Josh says, wrapping his arm around you.

"Don't do it, nobody do it," Tony exclaims, trying to stop this from happening. Only to be ignored by everyone.

"No one ever listens to the falcon." He says to himself as he sat down with everyone else.

"Question number one," Bucky started.

"If you could change your mate into one animal-" You interrupted Bucky, but he interrupted you back.

"Uh, that's not the question," Bucky states. Everyone looked confused, especially Tony.

"The first question is, 'The most important part of any meaningful relationship is, A, romance'." Bucky continued.

"Yes, romance. Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?" Peter says. Tony rolled his eyes,

"It says any relationship. It doesn't just mean you and MJ." Bruce nodded in agreement,

"Yeah, it also means relationships with your friends."

Nat sighed, "So if the answer isn't romance, what else you got?"

"B, adventure," Bucky says.

"Yes, adventure. Break the rules." Sam nods. Bucky rolled his eyes,

"You don't have to break the rules to have an adventure."

"What do you have against breaking the rules, Sargent Barnes?" Sam asked.

"That's who he used to be, Sam. Cost him years of his life. I think maybe he's learned something." Steve states.

"Read the other choice?" Josh says to Bucky.

"How do you know there is one? " Bucky smirked.

"In multiple choice, there are always close answers, but then there's the correct answer, and as soon as you hear it, you know it's right." You state a matter of factly.

"And I don't think we've heard the right answer yet, so I know the most meaningful part of any relationship is C." Josh grinned.

"C, conversation." Bucky smiled. You and Josh smiled at each other, kissing for a couple of seconds, cuddling up to each other again after the kiss ended.

"I love these now." You say.

"How come?" Steve asked, knowing how you didn't really like hugs.

"Because Tanya and I have had so many good conversations now that I think she trusts me," Josh says. You smiled and mumbled a small, 'I do.' Seeing how sweet Josh was being with you warmed Nat's heart. Seeing her daughter with someone she feels happy and comfortable with makes her happy. Steve, while still being the overprotective father, was starting to warm up to your relationship with Josh.

"So the most meaningful part of a relationship is talking to each other?" Peter asked.

"And with the right person, sometimes you can talk all night," Tony states.

"Yup, maybe so. Well, if y'all will excuse me, I'm gonna go over there to maybe, I don't know, kick a tree." Steve states, getting up and walking outside. Bucky sighed, giving the book to Bruce as he said, "Will y'all excuse me? I'm going to go over there to maybe, I don't know, save a tree." following Steve outside.

"You know what? I'm through playing games. I want to talk to you." Pepper states.

"Who?" The people still in the room asked curiously, at the same time as she grabbed Tony's hand, dragging him to another room. You and Josh had a mischievous glint in your eyes as you smiled and ran upstairs to the room you were bunked in together.

"God help us all," Bruce mumbled as he rubbed his temple in utter annoyance and disapproval.

After a couple of hours, Steve and Bucky came back inside.

"Where's Y/N and Josh?" Steve asked. Bruce and Peter glanced at each other in second-hand embarrassment.

"Up there," Peter states, pointing to one of the rooms upstairs. Steve's eyes widen in disapproval.

"Oh, hell no!" He exclaimed as he ran up the stairs.

#romanoff!reader #natasha x child!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x daughter!reader #steve x natasha #steve rogers #steve rogers x teen!reader #steve rogers x daughter!reader #josh matthews #josh matthews x reader #josh matthews imagine #girl meets world #girl meets world imagine #gmw

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maxwell-grant · 7 months ago

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The Penguin Episode 4: Cent'anni Breakdown

She goes through all these different levels of all these different personas: excellent daughter, overachiever, and this horrific feral state in Arkham. And it's not until the yellow dress that she finds the one that fits.

Kind of like sharks can't stop moving or they sink. It's that relentless pursuit of justice.

This changes her forever. She never comes back. Something so much bigger than her takes over in order to survive - Cristin Milioti

This was pointed out to me by my friend and, show of hands everyone, who else thinks it's unbelievably fucking sick that it is Sofia who gets to show up at the Falcone dinner table, wearing a thematically appropriate embodiment of her childhood trauma, and do a "None of you are safe" speech?

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

It probably felt odd to spend time with Sofia when we’re in a show called The Penguin. But I think it’s just as important so you can understand Oz psychologically. Even though I don’t view Oz as a hero or a villain, he is a greater villain in the show than anyone else. And for you to feel that way, I think you have to understand his primary antagonist more. And that’s Sofia.” - Lauren LeFranc

I gotta say I'm generally not enthusiastic about Penguin being depicted as overtly disgusting, like drooling and eating raw fish and all that Burton stuff (actually I do think the black bile is cool, but only so far as as that version goes), but for that opening scene, that was a spectacularly well-placed bit of grossness. Like this sheer craven animalistic ugliness of DeVito's Penguin descending for a second to show us how Sofia sees Oz, and even how right she is to do so at the moment because holy shit hahahahahaha

From what we can see of Sofia's pre-Arkham life, she was basically the Meadow Soprano of the family: The smart, overachieving golden child, whose social standing and eligitibility for leadership wouldn't even be up for debate if she was born a man like her loser brother (love AJ, relate uncomfortably to AJ, he's not at all morally comparable to Alberto, but he is very much a loser). Socially conscious and sticking up for victims but only if you don't poke too closely at her victim-generating family business, aware of some things but willfully blind to her own hypocrisy and insistent that daddy is still in average a good man who isn't as bad as people around her may say he is. I'd even say that the Sofia we see here is a more moral person than Meadow, although obviously being the daughter of Carmine Falcone is a much scarier, more isolating and horrific prospect than growing up the daughter of Tony Soprano (the ways in which the two Sopranos kids diverged and majorly prefigured American socio-political developments that kicked off after the show is a topic for another post).

(Also, I don't really want to bring up Sopranos comparisons because the shows are similar, they're really not, but I finished The Sopranos yesterday so they're gonna come up still)

I think Mark Strong does a really good job here filling in for John Turturro's role, even if he's not quite as good in it as Turturro. I think he plays the character differently in a way that works really well for this being a past version of Carmine, filtered through Sofia's vision. He is imposing and quiet and mighty, a lone titan of unquestionable power over the entire world, not even remotely someone to be defied or displeased. Turturro's Falcone was charismatic and affable and oozing with unspeakable yet casual cruelty, and I would have liked that here, but I like the idea that we're seeing a Carmine from before he was invincible, when he still needed Sofia to help him get Congressman Hill on the phone and still worried about the future of the family at Alberto's hands, a Carmine from when the Maronis were still around and he wasn't the sole ruling power in Gotham, who could still possibly lose even without vigilante intervention.

He is larger, more imposing, a stern and stoic father who had little use for pleasantries, and with no mirth to be had at the expense of the little people who think they can do anything against him that matters, even if he is getting there. I think the difference here adds a nice little arc to Carmine: there was a time where he needed to keep up appearences, there was a time where he raised his voice above a whisper to get things done, and there was a time where he wasn't the real mayor of Gotham. There was a time where he was a "proper" Don, when he acted like his comics counterpart, and none of that really became necessary over the following decade, when he grew more and more invincible and isolated and comfortable in this nightmare he made the city into.

They also confirm here that apparently the Iceberg Lounge/44 Below existed way back when Oz was just Sofia's driver, and it was already Carmine's prostitute slaughterhouse even then and Alberto knew about it. Possibly explains why Oz was handed the club in the first place, because the Falcones already called him Sofia's penguin and putting The Penguin in charge of the Iceberg Lounge would fit their idea of a laugh (and given how much Oz hates being called Penguin, he would hardly come up with the name himself)

Lmao, those dog comparisons I keep making really don't stop justifying themselves.

Credit again to Mike Marino and the prosthetics team for this younger Oz make-up, he strikes a very nice middleground between current Oz and the one we see as a kid.

Really like what we see of Sofia and Oz's dynamic here, again reinforcing that for all intents and purposes he was the sidekick in her HBO protagonist life. We see how Sofia likes his company and how she even kinda defends him from the family, but she really cannot bring herself to respect him very much and disdains him from the same very upper-class perspective the rest of the family does, she's just nicer about it. And in turn we see parts of where Oz's resentment to her comes from, and also the extent to which Oz was always lying in wait for an opportunity to get ahead regardless of her, his justified grievances as well as him being a conniving fuck. The really thin line this treads though, is that it establishes that neither of them were lying about how they meant something to each other, even if it doesn't help.

Sofia did have her life ruined partially because of Oz, she did endure horrific things while he got a promotion because he ratted her out to Carmine, and he very much did in part because he wanted to get ahead and saw an opportunity to do so. But also, Oz genuinely had no idea that this is what Carmine would do, and I think in large part this was also about keeping himself safe. It's not even that unbelievable that he was genuinely looking out for her, because holy shit you do not talk to the press about Carmine Falcone, daughter or not, and he tried warning her in the car before she rebuffed him and insulted him pretty deep for good measure. If Sofia talked to the press and would not stop talking (since he didn't know in the car that she rebuffed Gleeson) and shit started happening because of her snooping around, he would have absolutely gotten punished/murdered for it, it is not at all a stretch to assume that Carmine would have done something to Oz as punishment to Sofia.

Oz didn't plan any kind of misfortune, at no point did he mastermind her admission into Arkham (or even help keep her there with the letters, like the rest of the family), he just told Carmine something he shouldn't have, and neither of them expected anything too terrible was gonna come out of it. They both wildly underestimated what a complete scumbag Carmine is, but with Carmine (and the others) gone, there's nobody else to turn those grievances to.

Even if Oz could claim deniability for the Arkham thing, which he kinda can't but Sofia even tried to grant him anyway, he sure as shit can't for everything else he does in the opening minutes.

Oh hey it's Mr Mustache With The Broken Nose.

A thing that came to mind when I was watching the episode was the story of Rosemary Kennedy, JFK's sister whose father arranged for her to be institutionalized and lobotomized at age 23 as a reponse to "difficult" behavior. I'm not recounting it in more detail here because the rest of it is just too horrific, look it up yourself if you're curious. I remembered it because reading about Rosemary Kennedy ruined my fucking day and it still pumps up the breaks in my train of thought every now and then, so it came to mind watching this story about a young woman horrifically institutionalized and butchered for the sake of her wealthy family's image. Later I heard the podcast, and turns out that actually was exactly what Lauren LeFranc based Sofia's story on, which was nice. I'm glad it also fucks Lauren LeFranc up and that we both agree she should have gotten to wreak revenge on the entire family over it, thank you Penguin Show that continues to be made for me, this was nice.

Oh hey, Magpie. Just the name, yeah, but that was another nice surprise. I used to have a bit of a soft spot for Magpie, occasionally I thought there was something to get out of her and Penguin together, so a part of me likes that they put Magpie in The Penguin show even if just in name. Yes, she only exists to be annoying and die, but that's what she already tends to do anyway. And y'know, much as I may like her, she is still a John Byrne character, so she doesn't really deserve much more than that

Jesus Christ this episode gets uncomfortable.

I like that this establishes that Julian Rush kinda did make an effort to help her and kinda felt bad about it, but not nearly enough, and that he is very much a complicit contemptible creep who has it coming as much as any of the people who put Sofia in there.

Cannot state enough how much I appreciate that they didn't put any actual named Batman villains in the Arkham Asylum episode, guarantee a lot of creators would not resist the temptation. I mean okay I guess there is a Ventris already in Batman but, come on, you know who I mean. This did not need any references to like, Jeremiah Arkham or Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange or any of that, and that's not a diss on any of those guys, it's just that unlike pretty much every other Batman story, this episode does not undercut it's point about the horrific institutional horrors dehumanizing and destroying Sofia by pinning it on a chief boogeyman supervillain that Batman is going to fight later. Dr. Ventris is not responsible for the systemic rot that got her there nor is he the sole orchestrator/perpetrator of the abuse it's inmates suffer, he simply answers to those, and thus perpetuates them, by doing his job in a mental institution.

I am still haunted by the inmate committing suicide with a fork. It is so fucked up that Sofia was tortured and goaded by the doctors into murdering another inmate, and when that failed, they tortured her again and again and again until she snapped. The whole point was to push Sofia beyond the breaking point to justify further incarceration. The doctors just standing there letting her kill Magpie.

I want Dr.Rush to die.

I have more thoughts on Arkham, but I'd call this the most horrific take on Arkham so far, because it is the most honest take on Arkham so far. Even at it's most run-down and monstrous, it is usually never at all into question that Arkham Asylum is necessary, because if it wasn't there, all the crazies would run rampant in Gotham. Over the years, it's monstrousness has always been tied directly and specifically to it's inmates, and whenever people have pointed out the shoddy conditions and inhospitable environment of Arkham as a factor for repeat offenders, it's pretty much always as a fandom joke outside of Batman stories proper, and if there is anything wrong with the way the Asylum works, it is always the fault of particularly evil villains attached. A Lock-Up, a Jeremiah Arkham, a Hugo Strange, etc. Arkham Asylum is in general a Batman concept that's raised a lot of discussions and calls for revision over the years, and a lot of the issues with it tie into larger issues around superhero depictions of the carceral system, that @artbyblastweave went into here.

Here, in large part because this is a realistic world and a Gotham without a rampaging supervillain contingent of repeat offenders who can magically break out constantly, it is never into question that the patients are the victims of this system, and if they are being turned into potential supervillains, it is because of Arkham inflicting this on them. This is an Arkham Asylum that remains a nightmarish, horrific force in this world, but not because it's Castle Dracula where all the crazy villains hang out, not even just because the rest of Gotham is hopelessly rotten and corrupt, but because it's a mental institution and depicted accordingly. It gets to dig into the real life horrors mental institutions inflict on it's patients without having to justify those measures as benign or necessary to keep crazy crimes from happening. Frankly, this take on Arkham Asylum has been long overdue.

In every form of Batman media, just about the worst thing that can happen at any given moment is Arkham Asylum falling and it's inmates escaping into the streets, that's generally what happens when Batman needs to deal with apocalyptic stakes (which is why of course it happens all the fucking time now). Here, that scenario would be regarded with cheer, because the worst thing that can happen in this universe is being sent to Arkham Asylum. It isn't just Batman's unofficial personal prison / punching gallery, if anything it massively raises the stakes on this Batman's next adventures, because now we know this is what's waiting for him if he gets caught and unmasked.

I like that Sofia and Oz are both trying to save/protect those they see as younger versions of themselves, while inflicting on them the kinds of tragedies that ultimately created them

Oz reached out to this poor disabled kid from the streets and is showing him the ropes, while also belittling him as a nobody and distorting his worldview and dragging him into life or death cornered scrapdog situations chipping away at his morals. Sofia saves her little niece who laughs at bad table manners and doesn't quite do what her family says, gently lulling her to sleep so she can kill her mom and her entire family.

Extremely important that Sofia Falcone makes her formal arrival as a villain by showing up dressed in a sexy yet fitting extension of her trauma / cultural reference (The Yellow Wallpaper / the walls in her mother's bedroom), before putting on a mask and enacting Gotham's first Mass Casualty Gas Attack, we love to see it.

I was frankly already calling Sofia one of my favorite Bat-villains even before this episode, I'm just glad everyone seems to be on the same page with me now. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Twitter and Instagram talking about how they're rooting for Sofia instead of Oz, that she deserves to win this war, and good, fucking amazing that they're doing this, again, this show is hitting home runs I could not have foreseen.

It is incredible what a character they've made out of Sofia, and the fact that we now see Oz as her antagonist as much as we see Sofia as his, and the fact that if Penguin wins, he will win this as a villain. He will steal a victory he does not deserve and rub it in your face and he will make the children of the world cry for it as any villain worth his name should be doing, and it frankly wouldn't be much of a fight if Sofia wasn't every bit the complicated, engaging protagonist he is. Lauren LeFranc claimed that she sees Sofia is the closest the show has to a hero even if she is not, and this is the episode that sold everyone on it.

Halfway through the show and it's only gotten better and better, can't wait for what's coming next.

#dc comics #the penguin #hbo #max #hbo max #cristin milioti #sofia falcone #carmine falcone #lauren lefranc #the batman

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