#so we're doing it scared
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really trying to get over the fear of being known
#I have some iwtv fanart I wanna post but#idk#I thought at this age I’d have this huge art blog and doing all kinds of things with art as a career#and I still want that!!! always have#a part of me just doesn’t want to deal with people I guess?#but at the same time I’m cutting off any possibility of getting to know#some really cool people and make friends?#plus this fandom can be absolutely awful#but I’ve never had a show that I loved this much? and I've learned so much about so many things while lurking around in this fandom#putting that aside#if I want to have an art blog I gotta Share My Art#if I want to have more I have to Do More#which sucks as a system but not doing anything has limited me to literally nothing and i may be terrified but i don't want nothing anymore#so we're doing it scared#log
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Something Wonderful Volume 1 is now available on my Etsy shop!
The fixed books have finally arrived, so it is now on sale! Only $20 for the first 3 chapters, 120 pages of the story!
#cqchat#something wonderful#adventure time#fionna and cake#winter king#simon petrikov#fionna cambell#the photos were already edited so i didnt have to do much work to get this up today#so i got one thing on my checklist done so im happy#okay im gonna disappear again ty for understanding everyone!!#also about my previous post dont worry about me and i know we're all scared right now#im doing my best to feel okay and my friend is going on a mental health vacation#i think im going to do the same#its a very good idea all things considered <3
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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i like them together....
#a doodley#jumpscaring everyone again#im stilll deciding talons nose shape#saw a nose shape that looked a lot like his the other day and im trying to integrate it with the old way i used to draw it too#undecided if he should have very visible nostrils or if theyre more hidden like al's#speaking of al he's existed for over a decade and im still deciding eye color!#i feel his whole scheme fits the light grey or green eyes ive always given him#but. light eyes scare me and he is my forever girl. so we're leaning brownish again rn#it all goes back to brown. like how i cant stop drawing talon with his original eye color when he's meant to have the scary purple eyes#as a vampyre#AND FINALLY im trying to find a way to add more texture to talons face#i have to do more intentional wrinkles around the eyes and sockets that add form#i give al his acne scars + bumps + pores#wanted to give talon liver spots but he is a vampire! no sun exposure!#might also just do like. bumps and blemishes#the illusion of rugged skin
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remember when i had that dream where you [Y/N] have a sleepover with tumblr sexyman tony and sketchbook where you guys just end up in a polyamorous relationship ??? well . i tried to find a fanfic that would even slightly line up with the description. even if it was only vaguely
but uhhh ....
there were none . so i had to do it myself
#have i ever told you how fucking scared i am of tumblr sexyman tony and paige ?#actually . im not scared of them – but seeing them just makes me go into a fight or flight state#i hate my nine year old self for being obsessed with them . and i think they'd hate current me for being obsessed with digitaltime#so . really . i think we're even#can you tell which one i hate less ? [hint : it's not the blue twink]#anyway . im doing this more for you – the people who follow my account – than i am for myself#i tried to make it believable for the 2014 era of padlock but like i dunno how good or bad of a job i did (~_~;)#i hope they all get obliterated ; blown up to smithereens#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis fanfic#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis sketchbook#dhmis paige#paige the sketchbook#dhmis padlock#apparently there are no tony x reader or paige x reader tags on tumblr . so whoops#x reader fanfiction#x reader fic#for the first time in my life . i hope one of my posts / fanfics absolutely flops#my fanfiction#archive of our own#pls ignore#its not finished btw#and i don't know when ill be updating it#shrug
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so anyway-
#han talks#so sick of the constant misogyny in this fandom like god forbid someone joke about a character with 8 minutes of screentime dying#i've had to live thru years of people 'joking' about how they'd love to see every one of buck/eddie's gfs die violently and graphically#'we're scaring the puritans away' if you think queer people who don't like that scene are puritans than idk what to tell you#wishing violence on a queer character = homophobia but wishing violence on women ≠ misogyny like make it make sense#people only care when it's a white man they find hot being attacked other than that it's crickets#anyway idc if you like t*mmy that's fine you do you!!! have fun!!#but the hypocrisy is driving me insane#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#<- just to be safe no one yell at me
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A little special something for something even more special. Hint: it's about love and fears and birthdays and new beginnings
(@/marvel hire me <3)
#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#atsv pavitr#across the spiderverse#sandman#spider man fanart#comic#artoftheagni#mythic mumbattan au#inspired by the cover for spider man family business#it's so dynamic and for what!!#WOOOOOO anyway just gotta do some final editing on the birthday fic and then WE'RE HERE..... MMAU IS REAL..........#im so excited you guys. the amount of lore and stories and fun things i'm going to shower you with..... unreal#giving my baby boy what he needs (trauma pain suffering and a power up and a birthday party!!)#kalaripayattu pose is the horse stance. if you want to know#why can't i write FASTER GRR#anyway i believe in ghungroo supremacy. moon knight with his “i wear white so the bad guys see me” well-#-pavitr's schtick is that he sounds like christmas when he approaches. get scared#new fic incoming in a few days.....
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Hello again venom nation
#venom#symbrock#veddie#eddie brock#venom symbiote#carma art#MORE WIERD ALIEN ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!#drawing these two is so funny because its like yes thats a human man and a pile of goo. yes theyre in love. i promise im not insane#every time i remember random comic quotes from these two i need to stare at a wall for a while#it isnt what we do that scares everybody. its what we are. the way we're together. that they're afraid of.#safe... eddie. safe. where we bonded... eddie. like marriage.#like okayyyyy OKAYYYY#imgonna be sick
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I think a lot of people seem hesitant to write about Johan Liebert, believing there’s a need to portray him "accurately" or "seriously" or else don't write him at all.
This fear is completely valid and understandable of course; experiencing it myself. Most works in the "x reader" section tend to lean heavily toward psychological thriller and suspense, all crafted with such skill and depth with downright the most beautiful writing style ever. (can you tell I want to inject these fics right into my veins.)
I absolutely fucking LOVE these. Okay? let's establish that. I eat up these works every time, they clear my skin and water my crops.
What saddens me a bit is to think that starting out writers who read these fics, instead of getting inspired by such beautiful works, accidentally intimidate themselves out of writing for Johan because they think that is the standard of what a Johan fic should look like. I suspect many aspiring writers believe they need to meet certain "requirements" before they can write about Monster or Johan.
It's easy to think that you have to read countless analysis posts on monster, watch the series dozens of times, or have a good grasp in psychology and philosophy before you're allowed to write about him (guilty ✋️).
While it’s beneficial to understand a character well, I've noticed an underlying sense of "perfectionism" found within the fandom, creating this sort of cycle:
-> Look at the Johan/Monster tag: You see no "bad" or "inaccurate" fanfics—only well-written ones. -> Try to write for Johan: You feel your work will never match the quality or accuracy of what's already out there, so you hesitate to share it. -> Avoid uploading your fanfics: you think your work is "inaccurate," so you might as well not upload it. Someone might even bash you for it.
And then the loop begins at the top again. Breeding the idea that only meticulously researched, serious fics are worthy of uploading. I believe these amazing fics should be a source of inspiration to you to share your own stories instead of holding back. I doubt the authors of those fantastic pieces want anyone to feel intimidated. In fact, I'm sure that they, along with many readers, would likely LOVE to see a selection of variety and creativity in the fandom.
It's good to be cautious of your characterization, great even. It means you've at least put in the work right? But you shouldn't let the fear of making something "untrue" to Johan's character stop you entirely. It might help to look at certain fanfics as a way to guide you, but not to set strict laws on yourself. He’s meant to be an enigma, a puzzle to interpret in various ways. For example, one author might say he enjoys tea, while another might explain he prefers blue Gatorade in their story. The beauty of writing him lies in these interpretations!
( Also there are people on platforms like TikTok and YouTube using Johan as a mascot for the "sigma male manipulator". Writing Johan x reader going on a cute date as a little treat for himself with his newfound humanity is absolutely fair game at this point 💀 )
Numerous serious fandoms, like Sherlock, Hannibal, or Dexter, have their share of fluff and unserious fics that don’t delve deeply into character analysis. Yet they’re written, uploaded, and enjoyed by the community.
Fandom and fanfic writing should be a space and a chance for you to experiment and indulge in your creativity. That's what everyone is doing here, it's not a competition for "best writing". You shouldn't feel any pressure to write for anyone else but yourself and write what you wish to read. If anything, I'm pretty sure all the johan peeps are begging to have more people write, eating up any sort of writing like the dogs we are. woof woof bitchh!
You might think that your fanfic about Johan running away to join the circus is stupid, but somewhere out there is someone waiting to find and read a fic of Johan running away to join the circus.
#suusoh speaks#okay that's all. good night. sleepy time.#Like so many great authors and works and they should inspire you!!! aren't these johan fics so good??? you can make one too!! we're waiting#we're all waiting for you love!!!!!#I also wrote this as a mini reminder to myself actually HEKAJFHS I've been having thoughts on my johan thoughts is all.#I do long so much for people to get with writing monster and johan more even if it scares them. It's one of the most realistic animes true-#but you shouldn'e let that stop you from writing for it no matter how unrealistic you think your fic or writing will be.#johan liebert
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the whump factor for laishuro / shurolai is so strong... it compels me
#laishuro#i am someone who rejected you only to find our we're not so different. its hard to reach out to you without damaging my pride#but youre also scared of making the first move because of how it ended up in the past#i have a duty to fulfill#and you do too#i should not love you#but when we meet there's a fondness i can't hide#something like that#ideally they have a will they/wont they when theyre in their late 40s#shurolai#dunmeshi
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with
#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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part of growing up undiagnosed autistic is my mom talking about stereotypical autism traits that my diagnosed autistic brother definitely did not have but i did have
#spacie spoinks#like very specifically the aversion ta crowds#i would always wonder why i would get so nervous and want ta leave asap and my brother would. literally be chilling#my mom‚ literally just pretending my brother was experiencing symptoms: hey dont freak out!! whatever you do calm down!! we're leaving!!#my bro‚ chilling: aight#me: ohhh momtty i dont feel good aoooo ohhhh why is it so loud im realy scared for some reason rn#my mother: idgaf! pussy up rn!
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I think I just. want to be friends w everyone. we used to get caught up so much before in how we didnt feel real and how we couldnt be if no one talked to us but. i wanna be real by myself. i want to be what brings myself into reality by the faith we have in me and not exist only at the whims and active attention of ppl like []. and use my will and desire to live to spend my time no longer complaining like she would but just finding ppl to talk to and befriend and evolve further down my own like.. personality path through talking to them and giving as much love as i can to myself and others, and slowly planting my roots out into the world thru my art. i dream of just being this new me and creating wonderful art with my friends again. i genuinely think if i could just, figure out how talking works for most people, again, and learn a better vocabulary for speaking, i could do really sweet things. and i really, really, really want to.
#its scary sometimes.a lot of the time. cuz idk how to talk or initiate or i wont be responded to. but. thats neccesary#i need to love no matter what. even if i cant know people.#and not hippie love. my love. i need to care for everyone with all my heart cause thats what we've *wanted*#to do. but allure was too scared to msg. its so sad she couldve maybe had friends if she tried that.#i hope i can find people to talk to#and love all of you. and be friends :) maybe#it would be nice.#and we're slowly fighting through the fear.
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genuinely fuck the people blaming "inbred hillbillies" for this shit..... y'all can't condemn bigotry without being bigoted yourself can you?? first we deserved hurricane helene bc we're all racist rednecks who wanna suck trump's dick and now we're also to blame for his presidency.... as if queers and poc aren't a huge facet of the american south. as if atlanta isn't the gayest fucking place around here. how about we blame the fucking corporations and the outdated government and all the old white men still in power instead of turning on impoverished people and continuing the divide of this country. fuck off
#people are so goddamn stupid and shallow and soulless.#the fuckers down here who worship trump do so bc they've been fucking brainwashed by misinformation.#it's not a coincidence that this is the poorest region in america and the most conservative.#it's not coincidence that our public schools have $3 in funding a year#resulting in people who can't read or do math or have critical thinking skills#it's not coincidence that the people who spew hatred MAKE FUCKTONS OF MONEY off poor uneducated working class people#that includes immigrants!!!!!!!!#people want the best for their families and the crooked rich mfs warp their reality & make them believe heinous shit.#it's not new. but it's certainly gotten worse since.#no i'm not babying trump supporters.#i get we're scared (notice the WE bc yes there are queer & poc etc hillbillies too) but holy fuck STOP.#say something else. anything else. fucking stop turning the entire american south into “inbred less-than-human abominations” or whatever#you're DOING THE THING YOU CONDEMN!#us politics#election 2024#fuckkkkkkkkkkk this
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ADHD really does put everything at equal levels of importance, huh? Like I'll have an email I need to write that'll take maybe 10 minutes, and getting that done will alleviate 6 months of stress. Then I'll notice a sock on the floor I need to put away. Then I'll get the strong conviction that it's up to me to cure cancer. And my brain will tell me that I need to do all of them at once, start and finish them all in the time span of 0 seconds, and my executive dysfunction will throw up its hands and do none of the above.
#adhd#actuallyadhd#executive dysfunction#examples were courtesy of my partner. it made me laugh so hard because i've never heard anything more accurate#i'll read stuff like ''adhd makes it difficult to prioritize things!'' and i never paid that much attention because i was like#''i can easily sort things into categories. it's just the doing them that's the issue.''#but then i realized. that the REASON doing things is an issue is because it's not happening at the conscious logical level#it's happening at a nearly-subconscious rapid fire in-the-moment response time#i've been working a lot on my adhd these past few months & have also been meditating a lot lately and it's been making my awareness more an#more broad and precise#and at this point i'm wondering if this is straight up the cause of my adhd. the brain putting absolutely everything at the same ''URGENT#URGENT URGENT'' level. since i can't do everything in the world at the same time at infinite speed and perfection#i'm thrown into ''freeze mode''. and that's also why we've learned to weaponize fear against ourself as a motivator. because it forces the#task we're trying to do into front view. makes it take priority over everything else we're scared of not doing.#we've been working on a lot of useful coping skills. haven't entirely figured out how to manage this yet but the awareness itself has#been very useful.
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I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.
Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.
Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.
And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).
But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.
So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes#trent crimm#I saw someone on reddit saying that this whole thing with colin being scared of coming out was a bad storyline in 2023#because it's not a big deal#and I was baffled#thankfully some people called them out on that#because colin just wants to live his life#he says he doesn't want to be a spokesperson but that's what he'll become if he comes out whether he wants to or not#because he'll always be the first active gay premier league player#and it's also arrogant to say that it's accepted to be queer in 2023 so it's not a big deal#when queer and trans people are stripped of their rights and their right to express themselves in the US for example#and queer and trans people are killed all over the world simply because of their sexuality and/or gender identity#and even if you live in a fairly accepting country like I do for example#it's still the fear that YOUR OWN family and friends will reject you#because to quote monty python ''we're all individuals''#it doesn't matter how accepting society at large is because society are made up of individuals who has their own beliefs#so no the world isn't as accepting as people are led to believe and that's what I mean when I talk about straight people#no matter how well-meaning they are they will have a hard time understanding#nicole watches stuff
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