#so we might still see Zemo

[notafunkiller]

Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier

How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:

He always holds back

With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.

I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)

This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.

If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.

*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).

2. His skills

People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).

In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.

3. Karli Morgenthau

And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:

She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.

"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"

The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.

Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)

The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:

"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."

Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".

Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.

[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]

"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."

Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.

He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.

4. Baron Zemo

You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):

Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.

The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!

This conversation also says a lot:

Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.

Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.

Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?

Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".

Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.

Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!

Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.

The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.

When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.

[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]

The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.

Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).

5. John Walker

John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.

Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.

John: I'm not like you!

Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.

"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."

John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.

"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"

This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.

The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.

(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)

And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?

He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.

We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.

[mypoisonedvine]

you know your last zemo piece RUINED me I think about it at least once a day 😭 what about zemo/reader + 41? 👀 if you feel like it of course! I would read even your grocery list probably

okay well then eggs, milk, greek yogurt--

just kidding c: (not kidding that i need to buy greek yogurt tho. i ran out the other day)

41: "don't do that. don't act like you don't feel this too."

warnings: smut (18+ only, ever so slightly dubcon because of all of the denial?), fingering and overstimulation, glove kink, angst, enemies to lovers, descriptions of injuries and violence, reader is very generally implied to be an avenger?

100 random prompts - send me a number and a character!

"What are you doing here?" you asked sharply, pretending to be focused on your book even though your heart had been beating too fast to let you read another word as soon as he stepped into your room.

"I just wanted to speak with you," he said. You knit your brows together, because obviously you just want to talk, what the hell else would we be doing in here alone? but you didn't say anything. "About what happened today--"

"It doesn't mean anything," you insisted, rather dramatically flipping the page of your book. "You're an asset to the mission, my job is to keep the mission on track. That's it."

He didn't react, really. "I... never said it meant anything," he explained, "I simply wanted to thank you."

You cursed yourself internally, staring blankly forward at your book, trying so hard to ignore his dark form in your peripheral. Did he have to keep staring at you like that?

"So, thank you," he said.

"That's not necessary," you insisted, "I would've done it for anyone."

"You'd take a bullet for anyone?" he pressed.

You closed your book in frustration, finally looking back at him; you wished you hadn't. You couldn't even begin to react to everything you saw on his face, the way he was looking back at you... you stopped yourself before you even thought about trying to describe what emotion that could be. It took you a moment to even remember what you were going to say: "I didn't take a bullet," you corrected him, standing up off the bed, "I had Kevlar on. I just blocked it."

"Yes, Kevlar-- not magic," he clarified. "It must have still injured you."

You shrugged. "I'll live."

"May I see?" he asked softly, stepping forward until he was uncomfortably close to you, and you nodded slightly. You couldn't look at him as his gloved hand slowly pulled up the bottom of your tank top, until the massive bruise on your stomach was revealed. "Christ..." he whispered under his breath.

You shoved the fabric back down and wiped under your nose, trying to act normal and stern again.

"I didn't know you were wearing a vest," he explained. "The feeling that went through me when I thought you were really hit-- that you might..."

He trailed off, but you nodded, knowing what he meant.

"I haven't felt that feeling in a long time," he continued soberly, his gaze a little darker. "I never wanted to feel that again."

"Well, I guess I'm sorry if I... distressed you," you mumbled.

"Surely you know I'm not here asking for an apology," he scoffed.

"Then what do you want from me?!" you snapped.

"Don't ask me a question you don't want me to answer," he warned, and your heart jumped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you mumbled, crossing your arms tightly and looking away.

He didn't answer, just stepped closer to you-- you wanted to step back, but the bed was in your way. Damn these insanely tiny rooms...

You looked back at him, trying to keep a straight face, hoping he couldn't hear your racing pulse somehow.

"Ask me again what I want from you," he ordered darkly, "if you really want to know."

You stammered a bit but eventually choked it out, almost a whisper: "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to promise you'll never do that again."

You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't that. "What?"

"Never put yourself in harm's way like that again," he demanded, "I can't take it-- if you were really hurt, or even killed--"

"It's my job," you reminded him. "If my orders put me in harm's way, that's where I go. And my orders come from Bucky, not you."

"James doesn't care about you," he interjected sharply, and your eyes went wide. "And you don't care about James-- not in that way, at least."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," you blurted out, not sure what else you were supposed to say to that.

"Don't do that," he pleaded lowly, shaking his head. "Don't pretend that you don't feel this, too."

You tried to step away but he grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you back into him-- closer than ever; his other hand came up to hold your face, a gloved thumb tracing over your cheek as you looked back at him.

"I can't watch you get hurt again," he breathed, "least of all for me. Just let me protect you."

"I don't need your protection," you assured, "I can fend for myself."

"But do you want to?"

When your mouth opened with a little gasp of denial, he took the opportunity to kiss you-- hard and passionate, pulling your body close to his.

You put your hands on his chest like you were going to push him away, but you found yourself melting into it instead, and your fingers weakly clutched at the fur lapel of his coat.

"Fuck," you mumbled against his lips, kissing him back with more intensity than either of you expected. Weeks of tension finally broke as you clawed at each other, falling onto the bed and struggling with a mess of bulky clothes.

His kiss moved to your neck, his teeth digging into your skin until you whined. "Would it be wrong of me," he wondered, "to be responsible for another mark on you?"

"Shut up," you hissed, 'cause how the fuck could he be all poetic and shit right now? You could barely even think straight-- clearly you weren't thinking straight, because you were in bed under Zemo of all people. "I can't fucking stand you sometimes."

"I know," he mumbled against your skin, his hands moving down your waist until he could start opening your belt.

"But I wanted you so fucking bad..."

"I know."

He slipped his hand into your pants, cupping your sex for just a moment, before roughly shoving two fingers inside you-- with his fucking leather glove still on. You moaned low and loud, tossing your head back as he stretched you on those fingers, the intrusion thick and sudden and making you insanely desperate.

Your back arched as he thrusted those fingers inside you, your legs spreading naturally as your body craved more. He pulled away from your neck to stare down at your face, mesmerized by the way you responded to him.

"O-oh my god," you gasped, "fuck--"

"Right there?" he assumed as he curled his fingers against your spot, making you shudder and hold tight onto his arm.

"Yes, yes!" you whimpered.

"Quiet, draga," he cooed, "James is only one room away--"

"Fuck, j-just fuck me," you begged, "I need you-- just fuck me, please."

"No," he denied flatly, though it clearly pained him to say it. "One of us has to stay in control."

You whined in frustration, amazed at how much he could say in so few words. I'm in control right now. I wouldn't be able to control myself if I was inside you. I wouldn't hold back, and everyone would hear us. You couldn't pick which underlying meaning was the one that made you that much more wet all of a sudden.

He purred through a smile as he rubbed harder against the spot inside you, moving his covered thumb to press to your clit as well. "I can feel how badly you need this-- it must have been so long since anyone pleasured you, hm? And you must have known I could take care of you."

Your legs were shaking already, your hand reaching up to hold onto his shoulder, then weaving into his hair. You tried to pull him down for a kiss, but when his face came close to yours, he stopped and stared right into your eyes-- and his other hand grabbed yours and pinned it down roughly beside your head. You bit your lip, hating how much you loved the helplessness you felt right then.

"I just need you to come for me now," he explained with a growl. "I need to watch you give into it."

"I-I'm close," you nodded, and he smiled again.

"I know," he said, making you feel a little stupid for even saying it. "Show me. I want to see what it looks like when you let go."

With your one free hand holding tightly onto the sheets, your hips started to rock up into his touch-- or maybe trying to get away from it, the feeling was so intense. Either way he had no trouble keeping you where he wanted you, shoving his fingers deep until your eyes rolled back. You knew you were saying his name, you heard it echoing around the walls, but you refused to believe that it was really you begging for him like that. You would've given him anything he wanted right then, just to get through that feeling and let ecstasy wash over you: thankfully, all he wanted was exactly that.

It was actually quiet at first, you were holding your breath without really meaning to; only when you just barely started to come down from the high did you make a sound again, a moan going out along with a big exhale of everything you'd been holding in.

Except the feeling didn't stop, because he didn't. Actually, he started going even harder.

Your eyes shot open and your body rocked. "F-fuck, fuck!" you yelped, both your hands tightening into fists before the unrestrained one grabbed at his wrist to try to slow him down-- which obviously didn't work.

He was biting his lip and flaring his nostrils from the force of it, staring down at you with fire in his eyes as he kept going.

"Oh my god," you sobbed, "I-I can't-- fuck, I-- oh!"

You wouldn't really call it a scream... he would, but you wouldn't. You might have said it was more like a high-pitched moan or maybe just a loud whine, but really, to anyone else who heard it (which may not have just been Zemo) it was definitely a scream. A scream of overwhelming, painfully-perfect pleasure. And only when your whole body was a shaking, useless mess did he stop moving his fingers inside you and gently pull them out.

You were so exhausted, going limp against the mattress and fighting to blink your eyes open, that you didn't even really notice him bringing his soaked glove to his mouth and getting a taste of you, humming contentedly.

It was only when he let go of your wrist and stopped hovering over you, sitting on the bed with a sigh, that you really noticed him again and (mostly) came back to reality.

His hair was messed up, and his face was flushed-- and you'd tugged his shirt to the side and exposed more of his chest. Only now did he look even a quarter as affected by this as you were. "There will be a time and place for more, draga," he promised you with a sigh, "soon."

"When?" you asked, and he smiled a bit deviously at you before wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and kissing you again-- sweeter, slower, but with a hint of dominance as he gently bit on your bottom lip.

"Whenever my patience runs out," he answered with a grin.

[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Twenty Six

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97 @bookofriverr

Bucky stood close behind me as we walked the short distance from his car to the building where we were meeting Steve and Sam. According to Steve, there was someone inside that knew some information about the hit and he was willing to meet with us on one condition. Bucky had a tight grip on a bag that held that certain condition. 

Twenty thousand conditions to be exact. 

The guy wanted $20,000 in exchange for the info that we needed. I tried to tell Bucky that no matter what information this guy had, it wasn’t worth all this money.

“For your life? I’d drain every single one of my accounts.” 

I felt every inch of my body vibrate as we walked up to Steve and Sam, who stood right outside of the entrance of the club. 

“Is he here?” Bucky questioned. 

Steve nodded. “At the bar. 

“Is it in there?” Sam pointed to the bag. 

“Yeah. Asshole wouldn't take anything less than 20,” Bucky grumbled before resting his eyes on me. “Remember what I said?” 

I sighed but nodded. “Stay by you at all times.” 

With a motion of his head, we all headed inside of the lively club while all standing close to one another. Steve stood close behind me while Sam and Bucky were in front of us. There were bodies packed close together, dancing along with the loud beats of the music and we had to physically push our way through to make our way to the bar. Steve was right behind me, his warm breath across the skin of the back of my neck, and his arms were on either side of me to protect me from whatever would happen. 

Bucky looked over his shoulder to make sure I was still close so I linked my fingers with his, allowing him to guide me through the crowd. 

Through the clearing, we all stopped in front of the bar and Steve pointed to the lone man sitting in the middle with his back to us. 

“Perhaps we can go somewhere more private?” The man swung around in the stool, now staring at us. 

When his eyes landed on me, they widened for a brief second. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” 

I shrugged. “I don’t have anything to be afraid of.” 

“Hm,” the man hummed while taking a drink. “Baron Zemo.” 

“Y/N,” I gave a curt nod. 

Baron looked towards Bucky and motioned towards the bag in his hand. “Is that it?” 

Bucky dropped it to his feet. “Tell us what you know.” 

“If it’s anything like the last few times we’ve met, all the money is here?” Baron asked while placing the bag onto his lap. 

Clearly this wasn’t the first time that Bucky and Baron had met. 

“What do you know?” Steve now asked. 

“I received a call from Clint Barton a week ago to fly him and a lady friend of his to Hungary.” 

“Budapest?” Bucky spoke. 

I suddenly remembered the conversation that was being had between Bucky and the guy he had pinned to the bar last night. 

Baron nodded. “This wasn’t the first time I let them use my jet either.” 

Bucky’s hand was still linked with mine so I could feel when he tensed. “Them?” 

“Clint and the redhead,” Baron smirked while taking a drink. 

He knew who the redhead was, we all did. Baron was playing coy which irritated us. 

“I think she said her name was Natasha?” He said. 

Bucky went to lunge for him but I held him back, letting him know that we wouldn't get any more information if Baron was knocked to the floor unconscious. With myself standing in front of him to block him, I gave Baron a hard stare. 

“Cut the bullshit, Zemo. You knew Natasha was Bucky’s wife. How many times did you let them use your jet?” I asked. 

“Quite a lot over the last year and a half, even when the two of you were married. I caught them a few times being a bit too close, especially for a married woman,” Baron said over my shoulder to Bucky. 

My heart fell into my stomach with the realization that Natasha and Clint were seeing each other. But I could only hurt for Bucky so much because we were doing the same thing that they were. 

Sam could feel the sudden tension so he spoke next. “Are you planning on picking them up in Budapest to fly them back?” 

Baron only nodded. 

“When?” Steve asked. 

He lifted up his cell phone. “Clint will call me when they're ready to come back.” 

“As soon as he calls you, you let me know. Understand?” Bucky demanded, still standing behind me. 

“For a price,” Baron smirked. 

I went to refuse, not wanting Bucky to waste any more of his money on me, but he spoke faster than I could. 

“I’ll wire you another twenty when I have proof that they touched ground in New York.” 

The smirk on Baron’s face doubled in size but the conversation that they were now having fell on my deaf ears as I felt a burning sensation on the back of my head and it wasn’t coming from Bucky. 

While peering over my shoulder, I saw that not only was one set of eyes on me but at least three that I could notice. And it wasn’t the kind of gaze that was full of desire, it was more so filled with greed. 

One of the men pushed back his jacket, revealing a gun holstered on the side of his pants and I immediately patted Bucky’s chest with shaking fingers. 

“Bucky,” I muttered. 

He followed my eyes and I knew when he saw what I did because Bucky quickly went to head over to the man who was holding his gun. However, I held him back. 

“We can't afford to cause a huge scene right now. The less people know that I’m here the better.” 

Reluctantly, Bucky nodded and used his large frame as a shield, standing behind me once again. Our eyes locked when I placed a gentle hand on his cheek. 

“No one is going to try anything while you’re here, especially with Sam and Steve,” I reassured him.

I heard a snicker from behind me. 

“You think that you’re safe because you have THE Bucky Barnes at your side? There will be a time where he can’t be with you. I’d suggest you be careful.” 

I cocked my head to the side, lips parting in a smug smile. “Is that a threat?” 

Baron gave a one shoulder shrug. “What could you possibly do?” 

My knuckles collided with his chin, his body clattering to the hard floor below and he brought the stool down with him. The loud noise caught the attention now from everyone around us but I paid them no mind. 

Baron went to stand up but I placed the heel of my shoe deep into his chest, locking him into place on the ground. 

“Let’s get one thing straight, Zemo,” I dug my heel harder into his chest when I felt him struggle against me. “I don’t need them to protect me. Clearly, I have zero problem dealing with men like you.”  

Steve looked around us, people now crowding around us even closer, and gently grabbed my elbow. 

“Y/N, we need to go,” his voice was soft but urgent.

I watched as one guy with a knife gripped tight in his hand slowly stalked towards me which caused Bucky to wrap an arm around me and pull me into his chest. 

“Keep your head low,” he breathed in my ear. 

With my own arm wrapped around his side, I let him quickly lead me out of the club, Sam and Steve following very close behind. 

[manestjerne]

The book of regrets part two

Summary: After you reach a dead end in Latvia, Bucky offers you to stay at his place for the night, but things take the wrong turn.

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: angst, swearing, crying, PTSD, lying, fear of cats (lmao)

A/N: It's going to an end soon, so don't worry, I'll try to wrap it up.

If you have any ideas for MCU one shots, not only about Bucky, feel free to hmu, I have some free time now and I'd use some inspiration, since my first one came out not that bad.

I suggest part one first.

masterlist

I was sitting on the couch next to Sam when I started going through my bag. Zemo was already waiting for us inside. Maybe he wasn’t fond of how we wanted to deal with the Flag Smashers, but he wouldn’t leave them alone, so for sure he wanted to cooperate for now, waiting for the moment to step in. But we wouldn’t let him, already agreed on that on our way home. Bucky was standing  behind the counter, pouring himself a glass of whisky while looking at me closely, I was surprised he didn’t spill a drop, not paying any attention to the bottle. 

„You ever considered that you might have an alcohol problem?” He rolled his eyes in response. „Alright, so what’s the plan now? We lost them, Capshit America is probably looking for us right now, and well…” 

I didn’t finish the sentence, looking at Bucky and he only nodded at me, understanding what I was talking about. I finally found what I was looking for, taking a bottle of nail polish out from my bag and setting it on a table carelessly, before taking a closer look at the chipped polish on my nails. I saw their confused faces, but totally ignored it, opening the bottle. 

„I asked you a question, morons.”

„I guess we’ll wait for now. There’s nothing else to do.”

Bucky said with a shrug of his shoulder, emptying the glass in two gulps.

„You’re a little crazy, you know that?”

Sam was looking at me closely and I laughed at his words.

„There’s nothing better to do, if we have to wait for now.”

I wanted to say something more, but got quiet as I heard the wind drafting through the apartment. I knew what it meant, and I wasn’t wrong, two silhouettes with spheres appeared in the room not long after.

„Your time is up.”

Ayo said it clearly and calmly. I wasn’t going to argue with her, still believed that Zemo wasn’t so necessary. He deserved whatever they were planning on doing with him next. I didn’t raise my gaze, fully focused on my nails, when I heard the loud footsteps in the hall. Now more intrigued I looked up to see John entering the room. I rolled my eyes with a loud sigh.

„Were you following us? That’s kinda creepy, stalker.” 

John looked around slowly, not sure what’s happening, but he made a big mistake at the beginning. Walking up to Ayo, really closely, he chose to introduce himself, it wasn’t a surprise that she didn’t reply, turning to Bucky they exchanged a few sentences in a language I didn’t understand. 

„John, take your little friend and leave, you don’t want to get involved in this.” 

They both chuckled at my words, not even looking at me, but the next thing he did, could kill him. He put a hand on Ayo’s shoulder, trying to convince her to talk. Big mistake. He was taken to the ground within seconds. I didn’t flinch, knowing it was coming, Bucky’s jaw clenched again when he was looking at the fight scene happening in front of us. Suddenly Battlestar flew over the coffee table I was sitting at, knocking over my polish bottle and landing at my feet.

„I warned you.”

He looked at me disgusted, before getting up and trying to help John, but they were obviously loosing. 

„Bucky…”

Sam stared slowly before they joined in. I finished painting the last nail and took a closer look at what’s happening, when Ayo unattached Bucky’s arm, it felt on the ground with a blank clank. He looked even more surprised than us. Dora Milaje used their chance to immobilize both John and his friend, leaving them panting on the ground. Ayo took a look at the room, I realized someone’s missing. 

„He’s gone.”

It was the only thing she said before they left. The room got quiet again, the exhausted breathing was the only sound filling it up. I got up and walked to Bucky, as he attached his arm back on. 

„You good?”

I wanted to say more, I wanted to help him, but I didn’t know what to say, the whole situation was so unexpected.

„Perfect.” He gave me an annoyed look with these words. „Guess we should go now, there’s nothing else for us to do here if Zemo’s gone.”

I didn’t ask any questions, knowing the situation is not fully handled yet, I decided to just follow them, wherever they were going. 

„Let me take that, your nails aren’t fully dry yet, huh?”

Sam chuckled as I bent down to pick up my bag and I didn’t’t resist. He was laughing, but it wasn’t honest, there was nothing to laugh about. I took a last look at John kneeling on the floor.

„Do you need any help?”

My question made Bucky and Sam turn my way instantly, I could hear their breathing now.

„I’m gonna destroy you. All of you.”

„Well, alright.” I turned my back to him and followed the guys to the exit. 

„Okay, so where exactly are we going? Not that I don’t trust you, but you’re traveling a lot lately.”

Sam smirked at my question, the travel was indeed pretty long. Now we were sitting in a car and I guess we’re pretty close to our destination. 

„Home. We’ll catch up when we know anything.”

„Oh.”

My murmur probably sounded pretty disappointed as they both looked at me surprised. 

„What? You’re going to miss us?”

He teased, but I realized I wasn’t supposed to go home, I told Tony that I’m staying at Nat’s for a whole weekend. 

„No, just…” I didn’t know what to say, I furrowed my brows „Just guess I’d have to stay at Nat’s. Tony won’t believe we got in a fight or something.”

I knew what I just said sounded a little weird for them, but they must’ve figured it out.

„You didn’t tell Tony where you’re going?”

Bucky asked a little worried, he turned his face to look at me again. 

„Yeah, not really, I didn’t have time for that.”

I shrugged my shoulders when he raised an eyebrow. 

„He’s gonna kill me if he knows.”

„Yeah, but he won’t know, I just can’t come home ’till the end of the weekened and you’ll be fine.”

I rolled my eyes, he was so damn annoying just staring at me. 

„He doesn’t hate you, Bucky. He forgave you. A long time ago.”

Now both of his eyebrows were raised, the wrinkles on his forehead more visible than usual. He wasn’t expecting that, but his expression changed quickly. He turned back, not looking at me.

„You can stay at my place, we can get some more info about the little rebellions and try to track them.”

I raised my eyebrow, not sure if he’s joking. 

„Yeah, not such a bad idea.”

I was waiting for his reaction, for a laugh or something, but nothing like that happened, he wasn’t joking. After a few moment of silence Sam bursted out laughing.

„Man, you two are so weird.”

He shook his head slowly.

„Sheets in the bedroom are clean, take the bed and I’ll stay on the couch. Towels are in the drawer under the sink, I don’t have any fancy body washes and you’ll have to stick with a regular shampoo, no conditioner.”

He was saying casually while unlocking the door. I was still processing what I was doing there, just listened closely as he continued.

„The fridge is empty, but I have to go to the bar for a moment, so I’ll step in a supermarket, any special wishes?”

„You have to go to-„ 

I started confused, but when he opened the door a little silhouette slipped between my ankles. I took a few steps back, looking as he kneeled and picked up the snowy white cat, putting it on his shoulder before entering and turning on some lights in the hall. 

„That’s Alpine.”

He tossed his keys on the little table before taking off his shoes. „That’s why I have to go, when I’m away my neighbor comes here to take care of her, I need to tell him that I’m back. Are you coming in?”

He looked at me confused, scratching the cat behind her ears as she stretched lazily in his arms. 

„I didn’t know you have a cat.”

I said walking inside slowly and closing the door behind me. I bent down to take my shoes off as Alpine jumped off his hands and came closer, sniffing me carefully before rubbing her head along my calfs. I froze, too scared to take a step forward. I never told anybody I’m afraid of cats, that’s not healthy. I knew how lovely the little creatures could be, but their teeth and sharp claws always made me feel uneasy. Bucky started laughing at me, before picking her up and walking towards the kitchen, filling her bowl with food as she meowed hungrily. 

„Are you scared of cats? You have to be fucking kidding me.”

„You have a cat? You have to be fucking kidding me.”

He rolled his eyes in amusement, watching as she crunched on her dinner purring softly. 

„Look how adorable she is.”

I couldn’t help but smile to myself. He looked so innocent just standing there, adoring it. Just genially happy about having someone. Something. 

„Okay, I’ll be back in like half an hour.”

He said after we watched Alpine devour her meal in silence. 

„I’m coming with you, I’m not staying here alone with her.”

He shrugged his shoulders and left me without an answer, picking up his keys and heading towards the door. 

„Bucky, wait!” 

I struggled with putting my shoes on, really not wanting to stay here without him. He leaned on the door and watched me with an amused grin.

„It would be easier if you untied the laces, you know that?”

„Oh fuck off.”

I groaned when he held the door open for me. 

„That’s funny, you know?”

I started with a grin.

„What now?”

„Hi James.”

A cute girl polishing glasses behind the bar smiled softly at him. 

„Hi.”

He replied with a smile before lowering his gaze and leaning on the countertop on his forearms. His smile faded as looked at me, I was absolutely amused by their short, yet cute interaction. He rolled his eyes taking a sip of his drink. He only wanted to come in the bar for a second, but when Yori offered us to keep him company, I was more than glad to agree. 

„You act so tough, not caring about anyone, and then you come back to your little kitty and snuggle with her on the couch.”

„He’s not as heartless as you think.” I turned my gaze as he spoke, as amused as I was „He just can’t keep a woman close, but I know deep inside he’s just a little shy.”

He grinned, looking meaningfully at the dark haired girl, before looking at me again. She was still looking at Bucky with a little, cute smile on her lips. 

„No way, you went out with her! You didn’t call? Oh you asshole, she’s so cute.”

I whispered, trying not to look at her. 

„Right?” Yori chuckled softly at my reaction.

„Okay, you two have to stop immediately.”

Bucky was absolutely loosing his shit now, sitting between us. 

„Maybe you’ll have more luck…” 

Yori winked at me, which caused me and Bucky to mumble indistinctly.

„Oh no, no.”

„We’re just friends.”

„Not even friends, we just know each other for a long time.”

„Sure.” He smiled politely at our reaction.  

I got quiet at his words, picking up my glass and staring at the liquor inside before taking a sip. The silence between us got pretty pleasant after a moment, but I still didn’t like it.

„Are you gay?”

I asked out of nowhere, amused smile formed on my lips at his reaction. 

„Alright, that’s enough for you.”

He took my glass and drank whatever was left in it. 

„You’re just so close with the guys, you know. You have so many friends, but I’ve never seen you getting into a closer relationship with a woman.”

„Steve never told you about my youth?”

He raised his eyebrows and I furrowed mine in response, remembering what Steve told me. He was good at that, and it made his friend jealous, all the time. I thought about it for a moment. 

„Okay, my bad, guess the war changed you. Can I get one more?”

I waved at the girl behind the bar and she smiled politely before pouring me a drink.

„It’s not about the war, trust me.”

His smile was surprisingly polite as for the topic. I knew it wasn’t about the war, just didn’t want to make him talk about it. I raised an eyebrow at his answer. 

„Okay kids, I should get going, it’s pretty late for such an old man.”

Yori yawned lazily before getting up. 

„Oh, I believe you’re not the oldest one here.”

I smiled an he patted my shoulder lightly, then winked at Bucky. I shook my head slowly, when he greeted us once again and left. 

„Everything’s closed now, guess we’re not having dinner tonight.”

He wasn’t looking at me, I couldn’t tell if he was blaming me, or just stating the facts.

„Whatever..” I mumbled finishing my drink, the bar was getting less crowded every minute. „Let’s just go if you’re so impatient.”

He rolled his eyes before getting up and reached his hand in my direction to help me off the stool. I was much shorter than him, which meant my legs were swinging in the air all the time, not reaching to the ground. I ignored his gesture and smoothly jumped off my seat. 

I walked out of the shower and went straight to his bedroom. I didn’t argue with him about him taking the couch. I remembered how Steve had trouble sleeping in the bed when he first came out of ice, I guessed it was the same thing here, so there was no need to quarrel. I was squeezing my hair with the towel and pushed the door open slowly, when I saw Alpine sitting on the bed, licking her paw, not even looking at me. I turned back immediately, walking into the living room again. 

„Take your cat from the bed, I’m not sleeping with her.”

He smiled at my reaction.

„She’ll come here in a minute, but it’s basically her bed, so you can’t just throw her out. Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

He looked worried, but I believed it was just my mind, he didn’t really care. 

„I’m fine.”

I turned my back to him, ready to walk away and scare the cat off myself, when he spoke up again. 

„It was easy to get you to sleep here, you should be more careful.”

I faced him absolutely confused, I had no idea what he meant.

„First of all, you’re not a stranger.” I paused for a second, wondering why the hell was he smiling. „And secondly, you asked me to come here only to protect your own ass, you know Tony can’t stay mad at me for too long, but it’s different when it comes to you.”

I walked in the bedroom annoyed by that weird interaction and started to push the cat gently off the bed. 

„Shush, go! Come on, leave!” 

I whispered, making sure he couldn’t hear me from the other room. Alpine gave me a grumpy meow before jumping off and leaving the room through the slightly opened door. I rolled my eyes and went under the covers, throwing my towel on a chair nearby. I sighed loudly and rolled on my back, not tired enough to fall asleep, but not so wide awake do to anything else. I looked around the room, it was decorated nicely. The plants on the window sill, matching perfectly the candles between them. A small desk, covered in neatly organized notes. I took a closer look, these weren’t notes. I stood up from the bed and walked to the desk, sitting on the chair and closing my eyes when it squeaked, hoping it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear. I took the papers in my hands. These were drawings. Bucky had a cat, and used his free time to draw. Surprisingly, they were good drawings. I looked through them making sure to not be too loud, when my phone ringing under the pillow made me jumped in my seat. I dropped the drawings and rushed to pick it up. 

„Nat?”

I whispered confused.

„You okay? You didn’t answer any of my texts today, girl don’t do that again.”

She sighed relieved. 

„Oh yeah, sorry, busy day. I’m staying at Bucky’s place tonight, I’m alright.”

„Why didn’t you just came here?”

She asked offended and I laughed at her reaction. 

„We still haven’t figured it all out, don’t worry Nat, I’m really fine.”

„If you say so.” She sighed again „Just don’t ghost me anymore, or I’ll have to tell Tony where you are.”

„Oh sure, like you’d do that.” I laughed, but I was actually glad she was so worried about me. „Goodnight, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

„Night, love you.”

„Love you more.” 

I replied before hanging up and putting the phone back under my pillow. I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes, now feeling pretty tired. 

„Who were you talking to?”

Bucky yelled from the other room, but I didn’t reply him, just rolled over and tried to fall asleep. 

I woke up in the middle of the night, struggling with catching a breath. I reached to the lamp gently and turned it on, when I realized it’s just Alpine, sleeping on my chest.

„You have to be fucking kidding me, you little demon.”

I hissed and tried to push her off, but she just purred in response. I froze for a second not sure what to do, so I raised my hand slowly and petted her head. She rolled on her back, now looking at me. She was actually pretty cute, her bright eyes reflecting the soft light from the corner of the room. 

„Okay, let’s go.”

I looked at the clock, it was almost 3am. I tired to get up and not piss her off, but suddenly she stood up and looked through the half-open door. She jumped off the bed without my help, but stopped when she reached the hall, turning my way and meowing loudly. 

„Shh…” I hushed at her. „Just go.”

But she didn’t leave, she was just standing there looking at me, and it freaked me out. 

„Okay, I’ll get myself a glass of water if you insist so much.” I got up lazily „I thought cats aren’t afraid of the dark.”

I stopped for a second, realizing I’m talking to a damn cat. I shook my head and followed her to the kitchen, she gave me one last look before snuggling into Bucky’s side. I poured myself a glass of water, thankful that he sleeps with a light on and I didn’t’t have to walk here in complete darkness. I took a few steps closer to him. I was right, he slept on the floor, but it wasn’t’t anything unexpected. I took a closer look at them, thinking he looks so calm when asleep, but then I realized how hard his fists were clenching. Alpine wasn’t sleeping, just looking at him closely like me. His jaw clenched and he rolled to the side. I took one more step to make sure I’m seeing this right, he just had a nightmare. I was thinking about waking him up, but didn’t want to disturb him. Then I thought again. If I had a nightmare, I’d want someone to wake me up. I kneeled besides him and put my hand on his shoulder gently.

„Hey, Buck.” I whispered „Bucky it’s fine, wake up.”

He sat up rapidly and pushed me away with one, strong swing. I lost my balance, putting my arms behind my back to ground myself when he opened his eyes, absolutely terrified, for a second I thought I saw tears in his eyes. I wasn’t expecting that, backed away a little when he started looking around the room.

„Hey.” I snapped him back to reality „What happened?”

His eyes met mine and I felt a sting in my heart looking at his impression, he was absolutely lost and frightened. I thought it was just a bad dream, but now I knew it’s worse than that.

„Did I hurt you?”

His breath was heavy, his eyes wandering around my body as I was sitting on the floor, pretty close to him.

„No, I’m fine. I’m okay Bucky. What’s wrong?”

He ran his fingers through his hair before answering. I moved a little closer, not wanting to scare him, but trying to reassure him that it’s fine at the same time. 

„Nightmares.”

He mumbled and I jerked my head to the side.

„About HYDRA, huh?”

„I can’t really get rid of them.” He shrugged his shoulders and I stood up to turn on another light, so I could actually see his face while talking. The little lamp wasn’t enough for me to figure out his whole impression. This time I sat down even closer to him, pulled a corner of his blanket to slip it under my thighs.

„Bucky, it’s over. You’re fine and you’re safe. You’re alive, that’s what matters.”

I wanted to comfort him so badly, but I had no idea how.

„Yeah, if you call that living.”

I sighed loudly at his answer. 

„Does anything help you with these nightmares?”

„Not really, they just come and go.” He stopped for a second to think about it. „But there are things that make it worse, I think it’s because of what happened in Madripoor.”

My eyes widened at his answer, visiting Madripoor as an Avenger, with Zemo by your side, couldn’t be a good idea. 

„Okay, get up. That’s gonna be a long talk. DoorDash?”

I got up from the floor and made my way to the kitchen, taking a bottle of whisky and two glasses from the cabinet. 

„You should just go to sleep, I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t move from the floor, taken aback by my reaction, but I just rolled my eyes. 

“I’m fine. Are there any pizza places opened nearby?”

“I guess.”

He shrugged as an answer. I walked back to him and sat on the couch, placing the glasses on the coffee table and filling them up. 

“What happened in Madripoor?”

I asked without waiting for him to join me on the couch. 

“We had to talk to Selby, but you know, people there aren’t quite fond of us, so basically me and Sam had to play some dress up.”

“Oh fuck. Let me guess, if Zemo was the one who came up with this, you were the winter soldier, weren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, finally getting up from the floor. 

He wanted to say something else, but when he grabbed his phone I let him have the space he needed at the moment. I used that minute of silence to examine his presence. 

He looked tired, but that was not surprising. He looked depressed and crushed, but that also wasn’t anything new. The thing that surprised me, was the T-shirt he was wearing. Since he freed himself from his past, he used to always wear long sleeves, gloves when he was going out. Steve used to scowl about it all the time. He would do anything to not look at the metal arm, the constant reminder of who he used to be. I was surprised by how casual he was about it now.

“But I guess what I did there was pretty useless. She’s dead and the serum is gone.” He threw his phone on the couch. “Our pizza should be here in about half an hour.”

My eyes widened even more as he nearly put these two things in one sentence. 

“Selby is dead? You killed her?”

“No, of course not. Sharon did.”

The shrug of his shoulders made me want to punch him in the face.

“What the fuck Bucky?” I shook my head trying to clear my mind for a second. “I don’t like her.”

I mumbled quietly, trying to focus on what we were really supposed to be talking about.

“She basically saved us.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Is that because you were always jealous of her? Is it about Steve?”

A smile started forming on his lips as he spoke. 

“Okay, you’re the one who always avoid talking about him, so don’t do this now or I’ll wipe that smile right of your face.” I said angrily, but my impression softened when the room was filled with silence again. “I play the piano, you know? That’s pathetic.”

Great way to continue a conversation, good job.

“What?” He gave me a weak laugh, probably not expecting to hear something like that. “It’s not pathetic, maybe not useful either, but still a nice skill to have.”

“I saw your drawings.” I said and bit my lip. He raised an eyebrow but then must’ve realised he left them in a visible place.

“These are not mine.”

He said carelessly, trying to fool me. 

“You wouldn’t keep them if anyone else made them.”

“I’m more sentimental than you think.”

My eyes followed his finger pointing at a small, decorative bowl on the coffee table. I reached inside and went through all the stuff in it, when my fingers met a familiar shape. I pulled my bracelet out slowly and took a closer look. I gave it to him the last time I saw him, together with a note, which surprisingly was resting at the bottom of the bowl too. I took out the crumpled piece of paper and cringed as I read it.

He was messed up pretty bad after the fight with Tony. I made sure everyone was safe before leaving. As I checked his pulse, I gently put it in his pocket, making sure he knows I don’t regret anything, I don’t blame him. The bracelet was made out of amethyst, I got it from my mother as an amulet, it was supposed to just keep me safe. When she passed away I put all my beliefs in that little piece of jewelry, but at that moment I believed he needed it more, I made sure to put that in the note too. 

“I don’t believe in this whole crystal bullshit.” He started slowly when I was still scanning the evidence of him trusting me the whole time. “But I keep it in my pocket whenever I leave.”

“Okay, but don’t try to change the topic, I know these drawings are yours.”

I finally looked at him. I didn’t know what to say about the stuff he kept. I guess I never thought he would do that.

“Sketches, not drawings.”

“I like them.” I smiled as he finally admitted he made them. “Okay, moving on to the part when you said you’re not living. You’re not just existing Bucky, that’s much more.”

He filled our now empty glasses with a loud sigh. 

“So you never regretted what you did? For Steve? I mean, for me basically.”

“Stop avoiding this topic!” I pouted my lip in frustration. “I don’t regret anything, I helped you get your life back, for gods sake!”

“And what kind of life is it, y/n?” He groaned, almost as annoyed as me.

“You’re fucking alive, Bucky. That’s what should matter to you as much as it matter to me. You have your mind back. After all these years you’re free, isn’t it enough?”

I started panicking, nearly stuttering when I was saying that. I couldn’t understand why he can’t appreciate anything he has now. 

“I’m not free. Not at all, everything reminds me of my past. Everything and everyone.” He clenched his metal fist tighter, like he suddenly remembered it’s still there. “I still have to redeem. I’ve hurt so many people, it’s not like I can just forget about it.”

“You were hurt! Why can’t you think about that for once? You were the one suffering for so many years, stripped of your dignity and basically brainwashed. Can you think about yourself for a moment?” I looked him in the eyes as they were getting more glossy with my every word. “Please Bucky, just focus on yourself for once, you deserve it.”

When he finally opened his mouth, the doorbell rang and I could see how relieved he was before getting up. The unbearable silence was disturbed by his footsteps and continued when he came back and tossed the box on the table. I didn’t reach for a slice, even though I was starving. I needed his reply first, knowing I won’t be able to swallow anything now. 

„It’s not that easy.”

I let out an annoyed sigh. Is that really all he can say?

„Was she suffering much?”

He looked puzzled for a second, but caught up pretty easily. I was asking about my mother. I put the bracelet back in the bowl, when I realized I still have it in my hand.

„It was quick.”

He shook his head slowly not looking at me. 

„Was that the deal? Or was she just in the wrong place?”

„There were supposed to be no witnesses. She wasn’t my target.”

„She died thinking I wasn’t safe.” I felt tears in my eyes, I knew I shouldn’t say that, I was supposed to comfort him. But the memories of my past sinked deeper as I thought about it. „I think she knew I'll be fine at some point, that she put all her trust in Tony. I just hope she knows I’m alright now.”

I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand and shrugged my shoulders. I reached for a slice of pizza and left the box open.

„What did he do?” He asked calmly while leaning in to grab a slice himself. „Your father.”

„Well, that’s a long story, not for today. But we have our reasons to care more about mom.”

He nodded slowly, I appreciated he didn’t push. Alpine settled comfortably between my legs and I decided to give it a try, putting my hand on her head and petting her lightly. She purred in response. 

„You deserve a rest Bucky, from your thoughts. You’re not just existing, you can live a life now, just as Steve did.” I paused for a moment, watching his reaction and wishing it wasn’t too much. „I know how it feels, when you think nobody trusts you, but-„

„But he left.” He cut me off, but I let him speak, waiting for him to open up. „Isn’t that a sign of mistrust? You saw what happened there, what Ayo did. They don't trust me, because I don’t deserve it. I don’t know how do you want me to live a life now, when I can’t even trust my own mind.”

„I trust you.” My answer was quick and careless, but absolutely honest. „I came when you called, I stayed here for the night. I trust you. Sam trusts you too. All the Avengers trust you, Buck. Steve left because of Peggy, not to run from you.”

After I got quiet, the room was filled with silence once more. I was impatiently waiting for his answer, caught myself stroking Alpine’s head as I had to do something with my hands. I smiled at her as she stretched and rolled on her back, letting me pet her belly. 

„There’s no reason to not trust you. Your past doesn’t define you, it wasn’t you. We all know that. Just try to accept that.”

„Sam wanted us to come over.” I rolled my eyes as he changed the subject. „Do you maybe want to go see him tomorrow? His sister really does need help.”

My eyes brightened as I realized what’s on his mind. He was just trying to do what I’ve said, believe that people trust him. He wanted to spend more time out of his apartment and chose me to accompany him. 

„Sure.”

I woke up pretty much more tired than I was while falling asleep. Our talk was pretty time consuming, but we had to get up in addition to go see Sam. I burried my face in a pillow before getting up and lazily dragging my feet to the kitchen, hoping coffee would help me survive the day. How surprised I was, when I saw Bucky already sitting on the couch, dressed and showered, with coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He didn’t look at me, but I still tugged on the hem of my shirt, now embarrassed that I just got up and didn’t even change from my pyjama.

„Coffee in the pot is still hot if you want some.” He said turning a page. „You should get ready, I’m not driving at night, it’s your fault you didn’t get much sleep last night.”

I raised my eyebrow and poured myself a cup before turning back his way.

„Are you reading a newspaper? What are you, like 80? Oh, wait…” 

I furrowed my brows with amusement when he finally looked at me.

„We’re not ever going to talk about what happened, are we?”

I asked walking back towards his bedroom to get ready.

„No.” 

His calm answer followed me all the way down the hall.

[bromcommie]

Do you know (or have a theory about) what Bucky's role in the Thunderbolts will be? I assume he'll be part of the team but he also blows up the car with the T-bolts in it. That paired with the fact that he's in some of his WS gear, I am worried that the plot involves him getting brainwashed again :/

Ah, nonnie—idk if I’m the best go-to for this question seeing as how if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been checked out of the more detailed side of the “theorizing about new Marvel projects” game for a long while now, even (and maybe especially) when it comes to Bucky. I’m afraid every new bit of info is making me think they’re going to keep doing whatever the hell they feel like with him by taking that brand of inconsistent I’ve unfortunately come to associate with his storyline to brand new heights. Not for nothing, but there’s very little even in the way TFATWS “concluded” his arc that’s indicative of him having any place being in the Thunderbolts in the first place.

All of that said, lemme give it my best go based off of gut feeling and previous experience. We do only get so much from that trailer however, and I’ve only seen it the once, and I also might just be completely off-base, so take all of this with a sizable grain of salt:

First of all, I’ve seen the brainwashing hypothesis thrown around a bunch, but here’s the thing: I really don’t think the WS getup has anything much to do with anything. Not to be too cynical, and as lovely as seeing everyone on here picking over some of the details in the costuming and props is—‘tis what I love about this fandom, after all—I truly think we’re past the point in the MCU (if we were ever really there to begin with) where those elements actually have a deeper narrative motivation other than simple vibes, especially in a major team-up like this one.

Now, would I personally love to see one last badass, hurts-so-good farewell omage to the Winter Soldier in all of his Henry Jackman-SKREECH-soundtrack-fueled glory, no matter how thin the justification behind it is? Hell yes. Do I think that’s what we’ll be getting? Nah, not really, and somehow that’s not necessarily better.

If I had to take a guess, I’d say the gear’s there to evoke a sense of him not being entirely his own (a la the Zemo/Madripoor ruse in TFATWS) but that the whole thing’s not really looking like brainwashing at all. Partly because even in those 20 seconds or so we get of him, sure: there’s the grenade launcher, there’s the bike, there’s the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am of it all, but I’m not really seeing any of that near-manic, laser-focus Winter Soldier energy. I’m just seeing a kind of grim, tired, possibly very pissed off guy-who-is-supposed-to-be-Bucky. With some mean shades on.

The second reason is more on the Doylist side of things: this is them making him a full-on, credit-carrying main character the second time around. At this point, no matter how much I wish it weren’t the case, I honestly doubt they can afford to backpedal on their decision to mostly ignore the previously established canon of Bucky being an unwilling victim of HYDRA’s violence, and am assuming they’ll continue to lean in to him instead being a somewhat conscious perpetrator of it and therefore a viable contender for the Main Character mantle, as well as a part of the Thunderbolts in the first place—seeing as how their whole schtick is that they’re essentially Discount Bin Bad Guys Redeeming Themselves. (I will hereby refrain from discussing all the OTHER characters in that team-up who have also been set up as having all their autonomy very explicitly stripped from them. But know that I am thinking it and shaking my head.) In the framework that they’ve created which has one too many weird victim blaming pillars, having Bucky once again be under direct and full mental and physical control of someone else would be simply incompatible with that protagonist qualifier. And even if they were to backtrack on that decision, it’d still make for an ever more contradictory and regressive storyline, not least of all because they’ve also already established that the brainwashing doesn’t really work anymore. Which leads me to my last point—

There’s really nothing left for them to brainwash him with, I feel like. The Winter Soldier stakes are gone and doubly buried with TFATWS. The code words are gone, or at least that’s what they’ve made a big point of making us believe. Unless they decide to pull another hitherto unknown device to replace them with out of their ass last minute, or to, for some godforsaken reason, reintroduce The ChairTM (which again, seeing him be subject to torture and literal brainwashing and very much not in control wouldn’t really work with the whole “he needs to make amends for the crimes he Definitely Committed Knowingly and Willingly, No Guys For Real” thing they’ve decided to roll with), I frankly don’t see a way for anyone to have that kind of absolute power over him.

Ultimately, I just don’t think they’d even waste that much time setting up those aspects of the character again, especially since from what I’ve seen Bucky’s not even going to be in the movie all that long. Which makes the reasoning of why they’re going for that particular facet of his aesthetic even more confusing, other than, once again, pure ~vibes~.

So, to summarize: no, I don’t think he’s going to be brainwashed, or at least there’s no way for them to do that without once again trampling all over their own canon. Which on one hand, yay! (Said oh so very tiredly.) On the other: I think what that leaves us with is something way closer to 616!Bucky’s comics arc than what we’ve ever had so far, meaning Bucky once again “atoning” for his misdeeds as the Winter Soldier, and likely being under the government’s boot for much of it. And look, while I love 616!Bucky, identical brothers he and MCU!Bucky are not. Any setup we get for this transition would have to be…speedy at best, and nonsensical at worst. How and why his arc would suddenly entail going after a bunch of random rogues as, I’m assuming, some kind of twisted arm of the CIA/Valentina/the US government at large (??), when the last time we saw him he was supposedly finally free and readjusting to society or whatever—fuck if I know. Regular old extortion/blackmail/emotional manipulation of some kind is my best bet, or some last-minute addition to his pardon made for political gain.

In any case—sure, better than the regular old 2015 Bucky brainwashing angst, but only in the way that it’s more of the same done in a different way. I personally don’t like any of the implications this has any better.

But that’s just me going off of the minimal visuals we got so far + wariness derived from unfortunately being a Bucky fan for a good decade now, lol. I still have no idea how any of it’ll play into him being the supposed “de facto leader” of the team, or whether he’ll get there willingly, or even whether the writers of this project will have taken into account any of the previous installments as some others have decided against in the past. (Looking at you, Spellman. Good lord.) My second best guess is that they’ll have him play some kind of mediatory role between the government and the Thunderbolts, seeing as how he’s been around the longest—some fucked up kind of big brother act, if you will, as an extension of that whole “redeeming himself” business—and then possibly kill him off/retire him for good. But other than that I really…don’t know, and haven’t really thought that far ahead since I cannot for the life of me get a feel for what the hell this movie’s tone is even supposed to be, and it’s making me uh…not care too much about it, I’m sorry to say.

But then again and in that same vein, I’m also trying not to assign any particular meaning to anything I’m seeing. For all I know they could decide to retcon him again or shoot him up into space to be Nick Fury’s Man on the Wall instead of killing him off. It’s the Wild Wild and Yet Still Sadly Often Predictable West out there.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see?

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

🌕 Blood Moon: Chapter Five

Blood Moon: You have been defying nature, and perhaps, even the Gods. After returning to life because of Tony Stark’s sacrifice, all humans now have a designation: alpha, beta, or omega. Angry at the fate you’ve been given, you decide that you will do anything to ensure that your fate is in your own hands. You’ll soon find out that it is never a good idea to tamper with fate, especially when one man makes it his mission to ensure that you understand that you can try to out-fly your destiny, but fate will eventually catch up to you.

Warnings: Language, Needles, Chemistry Mumbo Jumbo, Violence, Explosions, Injuries, Make-Out Scene That Gets Spicy.

To Note: A/B/O Universe Post Snap, Zemo x Female!Reader, Timeline Of Events Is More Spread Out (Weeks Rather Than Days) To Fit Plot Line.

Word Count: ~5.1k

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It was soft touches on your stomach that roused you from the deep throes of sleep, and the sting of a needle entering your skin that had you cracking your eyes open while you let out a soft groan. It took you fluttering your eyelids for a few moments to recognize Zemo’s form, and when you could see him clearly, he was withdrawing, carefully pulling the sweater you wore, back down. 

“Zemo?” You rasped in confusion. You had a massive headache, and reaching up with your right hand, you grimaced when the mere act of moving made the pounding in your head worse. “What happened?”

“You had a crash last night, Liebling, I think a slight miscalculation with your medication and dosage was the cause,” Zemo explained, returning the needle in his hand to your back case which sat on the nightstand next to you. “I took the liberty of recalculating the correct dosage three times before administering your dose. 45 mL seems to be the appropriate measure. Higher concentration and lower dosage might be prudent for the next round.” 

You closed your eyes and let out a strained sigh, slipping your hand down your forehead to cover your eyes. 

“Shit. That’s nearly double… how could I have made such an error?” 

“No one is perfect,” Zemo said while cocking his head to the side. Another moan passed through your lips as you massaged your forehead. Faint memories of scratching at your skin filtered into your mind, and moments later you were pressing your palms into your eyes with an absolute miserable groan. 

“I cannot believe that happened.” You moaned out. “I am so sorry. You should have just locked me up in a room and left me to claw at the walls.” 

“Don’t be sorry, Draga, it was hardly your fault.” He said calmly. “And I could hardly leave you writhing in pain. No alpha would feel comfortable leaving another in pain like that, myself included.”

“Still doesn’t help the morbid embarrassment,” You whispered, heaving out a dramatic moan. “God, how can I pride myself on control if I have one issue and proceed to throw myself at the nearest alpha that smells nice.” 

“You still have more control than most, Diana.” Zemo praised with a quirk of his mouth. “But it is also nice to hear that I smell good.” 

Your hand snatched the nearest pillow and you chucked it at his head as he laughed at you. Shit, even his laugh sounded nice. You were digging yourself a deeper grave every day. 

“I have left some clothes for you to wear, Sharon has located Dr. Nagel. We leave in half an hour.” While Zemo left the room, you pulled the blankets up over your head and let out a frustrated scream. You could have sworn you heard another laugh from Zemo as his footsteps faded. 

Five minutes later you had pulled your body from the bed, had your meltdown over the marks on your body, got over it, and had changed into the clothes Sharon provided. So now dressed up in Sharon’s style of clothing, you made your way to her living room while tugging on the straps of the leg holster to one of your guns. 

“Please tell me we actually have him and aren’t about to go on a wild goose chase,” You spoke up while entering the room. Sharon snorted from where she stood as Sam and Bucky snapped their heads around. 

“Don’t worry, I have him,” Sharon said while Sam approached me. 

“You’re looking better Di, how you feeling?” Your eyes flickered to Sam and you gave him a look. 

“I told you, I’m fine, so stop hovering,” You snipped at him before pulling your hair up and gathering it into a ponytail. 

“You really okay?” Bucky then asked. Your eyes flickered to his. 

“Yes, Zemo helped me figure out it was a dosage problem with my meds,” You explained vaguely, absolutely not wanting to go into the specifics of how exactly Zemo had helped you. “I just need to give myself a higher dosage until I come up with a better formula, however long that may take. Now come along, daylights’ burning.”  

Sharon’s contact led you to a shipment yard full of shipping crates that you had to navigate, luckily, Sharon had a locator to track. 

“So how did you end up wrapped up in this mess, Diana?” Sharon questioned as her eyes dropped back to the tracker in her hand. You glanced back at the boys following you, your eyes lingering on Zemo who brought up the rear. His own eyes met yours, those chocolate eyes of his burned. “After everything that happened, you getting institutionalized and spending years in the loony bin, I thought you’d’ve hunkered down, stay out of situations that would put you back there.”

“I’m not going to go off the rails again… and how did you even hear about that?” You asked, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. 

“You went psycho, it was in the news all across the planet,” Sharon said dryly. “Shield Agents don’t just have mental breaks, and with you're connections to Hydra, everyone was keeping an eye on you. Waiting for you to snap... which you did.” 

“I'm aware," You said dryly before sighing. "Sam and Bucky won’t know what to look for,” You explained as you came to a stop in front of a fork. Sharon snorted and arched an eyebrow at you. 

“And you do?”

“Who’s the chemist in this relationship?” You questioned, a smirk biting at the corner of your mouth. “Face it, they need me. At least now I’m not bored anymore.” 

“Madripoor could give New York a run for its money,” Sam spoke as the boys caught up to you. 

“They know how to party,” Zemo echoed Sam’s sentiment. You made a noise in the back of your throat in agreement. While last night hadn't exactly gone well for you, you had been lucid enough to experience just how hard they partied here.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving,” Sharon said in warning. You let out a snort.  

“An idea we aren’t new to; how close are we?” Sharon nodded her chin at a shipping container at the far end of the manmade corridor of shipping containers you stood in. 

“He’s in there, container four-two-six-one. I’ll keep an eye out for you guys while you talk to Nagel, but hurry, we’re on borrowed time.” Sharon said, holding out earpieces for each of you to take. You each took one and tucking yours into your ear, you started for the container. 

“Hold up there, Diana, one of us should go first,” You shot Sam a look as he reached for the container’s door. “And don’t give me that look, you’re the chemist, so that means you stay out of the line of fire.”

Upon opening the creaking metal door, you were met with an empty container. Sam sighed in disappointment as your nose started twitching, it might be empty, but your nose was telling you otherwise. 

“Hey Sharon, you sure this is the right one?” Sam asked. You stepped inside and ventured further into the darkness. “It’s completely empty.”

 “Positive, it has to be,” Sharon replied in your ears. 

“Sam, stop using your eyes,” You said over your shoulder as the overpowering scent of a solution you had used yourself filled the container. “Can you smell that?”

The boys filed into the dark space and while Zemo clicked a light on and started looking around, Sam stopped next to you.

“Smell what? I don’t smell anything.” Sam huffed. 

“I believe that is Diana’s point, Sam,” Zemo spoke up, his eyes running over every surface of the rusted and damp container. 

“That’s industrial-strength scent cleaner,” You explained softly. “The kind that is only used in laboratories… which means someone has something to hide here.” 

There was a loud crack, and the wall Zemo had been running his gloved fingers over pushed back, revealing a hidden doorway. Music from inside reached your ears just as you were assaulted by the smells of chemicals. 

“That’s definitely it,” You whispered. Bucky and Sam drew out their guns, prowling forwards while you and Zemo hung back. 

“Is this enough equipment to create a super-soldier serum?” Zemo asked lowly. Your eyes glossed over sleek machinery and pristine equipment. 

“More than enough,” You softly replied. “You would be surprised at what a chemist can do with their mind, a couple of ingredients, and time.”

“Oh, I am not surprised. You are a crafty creature, I can imagine your abilities make you quite dangerous, Draga,” Your lips twitched at the corner and you continued to follow the sound of the music. 

“Just remember that when you inevitably turn on us.” You reminded him. He cocked his head to the side, and you raised your eyebrow with a smirk. "We're not idiots, Baron, and I've dealt with worse snakes." You paused before tacking on, “But you are the handsomest I’ve met, so at least I have a view for now.”

Amusement flickered through his eyes as he cocked his head, the teasing smirk on your lips was soon echoed on his. You turned your eyes back to what lay ahead, and let your eyes fall on a man at the end of the room. Dr. Nagel. 

“Dr. Nagel?” Sam asked. The man jumped and turned around, fixing his beady eyes on Sam.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Nagel snapped, going on the defense instantly.

“We know you created the super-soldier serum,” Sam stated as you reached for a stack of papers and started rifling through them. Line after line of chemical formulas met your gaze; these combinations had a frown blooming on your face, and with every line, your frown deepened.

“Get out of my lab,” Nagel went to storm past Sam but ended up getting yanked back by his shoulder. Then Nagel set his eyes on Bucky, who was lurking nearby, and you saw him physically pale. Sam then gestured to Zemo. 

“This Baron Zemo. I know you’ve heard of him too. You seem like a pretty smart guy, so you better become conversational real quick.” Sam shoved Nagel into a screen-covered wall.

“How about a counter proposal?” 

“What makes you think we are interested in that, doctor?” You asked, dropping the pages I held and walking over. “You’ve been a very naughty man now haven’t you?” 

Nagel looked at you and saw that you were snooping around his work, picking at more worksheets and lifting vials, inspecting their contents. 

“Make me a better counter offer and I’ll talk.” Nagel persisted. He obviously didn’t understand how precarious his position was at the moment. 

“Guys, we have company,” Sharon spoke up over the comms line. 

“Playtime is over,” You spoke out before flicking your eyes to Bucky. “Will you do the honors, Bucky?” 

Bucky grabbed Nagel by his shirt and dragged him over to a nearby chair while you followed, an amused look plastered to your nearly blank face. 

“A rather poor choice, doctor,” You commented as Nagel was forced to sit down and Bucky pointed his gun right at his head. 

“Every bounty hunter in the city is here. We gotta go!” 

“I’m not inclined to repeat my requests so you better listen closely,” You stated, placing your hands on the armrests and leaning over Nagel. The Beta flinched and leaned back in his forced seat; the smell of fear quickly permeated the room. “Start talking.” 

In emphasis, Bucky moved the gun slightly to the side and shot a bullet into the nearby wall, narrowly missing Nagel’s head.

“Okay, okay!” Nagel squeaked. A brief smirk of satisfaction crossed your lips and you turned him in his seat so he faced the computer on the bench.

“Password, then you talk, or my good friend here gets to turn you into Swiss cheese and make my day all that more exciting.” Nagel was shaking at this point, and slowly, he lifted his fingers to quickly type in his password and unlock the computer. 

“The files are all on the USB,” he muttered shrinking back as you sharply grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him to the side. 

“Good boy,” You said in fake praise before glancing at Bucky and nodding at him. You had what you needed, now it was the boys' turn. 

“Start talking,” Sam spoke up. Nagel let out a shaky breath. 

“I was brought into Hydra’s Winter Soldier program to pick up their work after the five failed test subjects in Siberia,” Nagel explained as you quickly opened files and started looking for the formula. “When Hydra fell, I was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples from an American test subject with semi-stable traces of serum in his system. After much labor, I was able to isolate the necessary compounds in his blood. I was a god.” 

You tried to tune Nagel out as you worked, but his words only made you angrier and angrier, and you knew anger clouded your judgment. But a scrupulous search through files lead you to one that had a half-completed formula on it. Basic antigens, along with several lines of preservatives, but what you wanted was empty. 

“You brilliant bastard,” You muttered, letting out a frustrated snort and pulling back from the computer. 

“Is there any serum in this lab?” Bucky asked as you focused your attention back on the conversation. Nagel gave Bucky an obstinate look. 

“Answer him,” You growled, giving his shoulder a hard squeeze. Nagel winced and quickly belted out a high-pitched 'no'.

“Do you alpha’s always listen to little girls trying to play grown-ups?” Nagel questioned. You sank your fingers, specifically your nails, into his shoulder to the point where you felt his skin break and the coppery scent of blood wafted into the room. 

“I think you’ll find this Beta has a short temper,” Sam drawled out. You gave him a look. “Diana, you find it?” 

“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” You airily replied, releasing Nagel’s shoulder and reaching for a nearby folded lab coat to wipe your hands free of his blood. 

“Good news,” Sam sighed out, rubbing his forehead. 

“Yes,” You answered, watching as Nagel glowered at you, a half-smirk on his lips. He knew you had found a half-completed formula. 

“And the bad news?” Bucky prompted. You wiped off the rest of the blood, staining the white lab coat brilliant red.

“It’s incomplete,” You stated, glancing at Zemo who looked like he was trying to murder Nagel with his eyes. His true emotions were only revealed by the wafting bewitching scent of his which was tinged with unabridged rage. “Dr. Nagel here has kept the baseline compounds in his formula but the parts that matter he no doubt has memorized. This is a dead-end unless you can get him to cough up what’s missing, and I doubt that will happen in the time frame we have.”

Sharon came running into the lab, out of breath and covered in specks of blood. Not to mention the scent of pain now clinging to her clothing was almost overpowering. 

“Guy’s we’re seriously outta time here!” She said. Looking at her face, you could see the formations of bruises on her cheekbone. Just as she came to a stop, Zemo whipped out a gun and shot Nagel right in the chest. 

“No!” Sam erupted, slamming Zemo into a nearby wall. Sharon quickly disarmed Zemo as you stared at the hole in Nagel’s chest, blood quickly staining his shirt in an outwards pattern. 

“What did you do?” Sharon gasped out, her eyes fixated on the now dead man.

“I believe the term you are looking for is killed,” You answered dryly. Before any of your friends could shoot you dirty looks for the ill-timed humor, the wall adjacent to you exploded. Everyone in the tightly enclosed lab was thrown, and you found yourself hitting a table full of vials and beakers. Glass broke beneath your tumbling body, and heat from the raging burst of fire seared your exposed skin. 

Your ears were ringing and alarms were blaring by the time you blinked away the stars. Bucky hauled you to your feet and as Sam was asking about the whereabouts of Zemo, your eyes looked at the fire licking the pressurized tanks at the end of the lab and the whistling of the remaining vials.

“We need to get out before this place explodes,” You shouted, wincing as your left ear popped. You raised a hand to cover it and found warm sticky blood coating your fingers. “Shit.” 

“Come on,” Bucky called pulling you in the direction of the exit. Vertigo and nausea hit you as you were forced along. Behind you the lab exploded, releasing a cloud of black noxious fumes that only made your already pounding head hurt more. The smell was worse, burning and searing the inside of your nose.

“Diana!?” Sam’s voice sounded muffled between the gunfire and the rining in your ears. But at least your right ear seemed undamaged. Sam’s hand appeared on the side of your face and his brown eyes peered into yours. 

“Ruptured eardrum,” You shouted at him, probably a little too loudly, but you couldn’t tell. You stumbled around, vertigo hitting you hard. 

“Buck, Diana’s out,” Sam called before shooting off a few shots at a mercenary firing at you. The two Alpha’s started arguing with each other over who was supposed to do what and who was supposed to follow who, and you couldn’t help but exchange an exasperated look with Sharon. You both had the same facial expression: men.

“Guy’s not now!” She bellowed at them moments before a second explosion went off, sending another wave of pain ringing through your ear. Keeping a hand clapped against your ringing ear, your eyes flickered around until they landed on a moving masked Zemo taking care of the last remaining mercenaries in your current vicinity. 

“Go, go!” Bucky yelled, pushing Sharon forwards before wrapping an arm around your side and hauling you after her. The entire world felt like it was moving, like you were in a snow globe. Ss you ran, and it took everything you had not to start puking. Lurching against a cargo container, you watched as Sam opened a door to the nearest container while Bucky threw a rod into the shoulder of the nearest mercenary. “Let’s go!”

Moving through the dark container, you slumped along with Sam’s help as Bucky punched his way out to the other side. 

“How ya doing, Diana?” Sam asked, tightening his grip on the arm you had slung across his shoulders.

“I think I’m gonna puke,” You groaned out. 

“We’ll get that eardrum taken care of soon, just hang in there,” Sam responded as the sounds of tires screeching echoed in your right ear. You blinked and saw Zemo pull up in a convertible. 

“Supercharged,” Zemo said while Sam hauled you towards the back seats. 

“You are going back to jail,” Sam huffed before picking up your body and lifting you into the backseat. 

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” Zemo questioned as Bucky tapped Sam on the shoulder. 

“He’s right. We need him, and there’s three of us and at least twenty of them.” Bucky explained. 

“Make that two, Diana’s down for the count.” Sam sighed, nodding to where you were curled up and trying not to barf all over the beautiful white leather seats. “Fine, but if you try that shit again…” Sam threaten Zemo as he climbed into the seat next to me. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it… how is the little Maus?” 

“That explosion busted her eardrum, not very well,” Sam grunted while you pressed a hand against your mouth. “How's your stomach, Diana?”

“I may throw up on you.”

At some point in the drive back to the airstrip, you had fallen asleep with one of your ears still ringing and slightly deaf. When you opened your eyes next, the ache in your ear wasn’t nearly as bad and the tinnitus had faded. Your eyes were greeted with the interior of the jet as soft fur brushed against your cheeks.

While your ear might have stopped hurting, your head pounded with every heartbeat and your muscles and joints felt achy. Letting out a soft groan of misery, you twisted in place to try and find a more comfortable position but found that you had been swaddled. You slumped back with a soft huff while your nose twitched. 

Zemo’s intoxicating scent was everywhere, and you couldn’t tell if it was because you were in his jet or the fact that the three Alpha’s had decided to swaddle you up in Zemo’s fur coat like you were a baby. You grimaced at the headache currently plaguing your brain before twisting your neck to see if you could find any of the boys. Your eyes caught sight of Sam snoozing at the front of the plane while Bucky had his face buried in a book. 

“We are currently en route to Riga,” Zemo’s soft voice reached your ears and you twisted your head back around to see him emerging from the rest area with your little black case and a medical kit. 

“Am I to presume right that there is a lead relating to Madani in Riga?” You questioned softly as Zemo set your case down and opened the medical kit. He pulled out a prepackaged alcohol wipe.

“Yes,” He answered, loading a new cartridge in your needle. “There is to be a funeral for Madani in a few days, our best guess is that Karli will be in residence.”

“Strike while she is emotionally compromised, aggressive and ruthless, but necessary,” You spoke quietly. You grimaced before shifting in place as he unwrapped his coat and pulled up your shirt. “So want to explain why I am currently swaddled like a newborn?” 

“You were rather resistant to medical treatment,” Zemo explained with a slight smirk. “You bit Sam several times while he and James rendered medical care.”

You stared at Zemo in disbelief. 

“Forgive me for having a hard time believing you,” You muttered while he wiped your skin with the alcohol wipe and gave you your injection. 

“You did,” Bucky spoke up. You glanced at him and saw that he hadn’t even bothered to lift his eyes from his book. Your eyes turned back to the man next to you in exasperation. Zemo shrugged and recapped the needle, returning it to its case before zipping it closed. 

“Your hormones are very unstable at the moment, Draga, it is not unexpected.”

“No, just highly embarrassing,” You huffed, trying not to think about the fingers and knuckles sliding across your skin as Zemo pulled your shirt back down. Slowly, you lifted your eyes back to his soft brown ones. Aggression was the last thing on your mind at the moment, and you certainly didn’t feel like lashing out. 

No, all you wanted to do was throw yourself at the older Alpha and bury your face in his neck. You wanted to drown yourself in his natural scent that relaxed you like no medication ever had. For once in your life, you felt like Zemo was someone you could count on, someone who could become home… but that was absurd. You barely knew the man and had only met him a week and a half ago. Not to mention he was supposed to be in prison.

Then you were thinking about how his lips felt against your skin, how his teeth scraped against your neck. You couldn’t get rid of the sensations of his body on top of yours nor could you get rid of the echoing whispers of praises whispered in a language you didn’t fully understand. A shiver went up your spine and the temperature-controlled airplane suddenly felt far too warm. But rather than segregate you from your emotions, your body reacted on its own and only made you focus more on what you were feeling.

Your eyes flickered across his features, and you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that he was undeniably attractive. There was something so sweet about forbidden attraction, it was irresistible and with your repressed designation trying to claw its way forward… it was taking every bit of your will not to throw yourself at him... again.

You tore yourself out of the reverie and looked anywhere but at Zemo, your heart now beating at a faster pace in your chest. No doubt a pace he himself could hear… but at least he made no comment on your abrupt aversion to eye contact. Shifting in place once more, you reached up and felt your left ear. It had been fixed, but dried blood still caked your skin and hair. 

“Perhaps you would like to clean up?” Zemo offered. You nodded eagerly, hoping to at least have a moment to yourself to calm down and get away from Zemo’s intoxicating scent. You needed to breathe without his scent muddling your thoughts. Moving your legs off the couch you were stretched out on, you went to stand up but found your world moving like a topsy turvy. Lurching to the side, Zemo’s arms quickly steadied your swaying body. 

“I don’t my balance is back yet,” You moaned out through your stomach doing flips in your abdomen. 

“Allow me, then,” Zemo murmured as he took your hand and started leading you towards the back of the jet. Despite your lack of coordination and the lurching feeling you were experiencing, you made it into the rest area without incident. Upon reaching the bathroom, you grabbed the door and partially opened it before looking up at Zemo.

“I’ve got it from here,” You whispered, detaching yourself from his grip. As his hand slowly left yours and fingers slipped across your wrist, something in those brown eyes of his shifted. With unexpected speed and quietness, hands were gripping your waist and pushing you into the bathroom. 

Your lower back hit the edge of the sink, and as hands traced the contours of your body, lips descended on yours harshly. With your eyes shutting automatically, you used one hand to grip the sink counter while your other reached up and buried itself in soft chocolate hair. 

Those hot lips of his pressed against yours like a fire that radiated to every part of your body, leaving you burned yet wanting for more. While lips hungrily moved against yours and brought your own to life, a hand on your hip fluttered over your back, fingers tracing your spine through your shirt. Your heart started beating faster, and with it, you curled your fingers around his strands and forced his mouth closer to yours. It was never enough. 

It didn’t matter how long you kissed him, or how deep he kissed you, you knew you were always going to want more. You wanted those soft caresses across your fevered skin, that wicked mouth brushing against the most sensitive parts of your body. His very scent was your new addiction and you wanted him to possess you, claim you, make you his. 

You choked on a muffled breath of pleasure that Zemo snapped up with a sharp nip to your lower lip. But even then he didn’t back off, determined to take every second you had to this stolen moment. The remaining hand on your waist slipped its way beneath your skin-tight shirt and fingers drew across your stomach, your aching body.  

Your nails sank into the smooth countertop of the sink, scraping the surface while Zemo’s silver tongue snaked against yours. You felt like you were burning from the inside out and the heat was growing worse in your belly, leaving your legs shaking. For a moment you thought you might start dripping right there, the scent of desire clouded your nose so much. 

It was only when Bucky banged his fist on the door and said, “You better be keeping your hands in respectable places, Zemo!” That the reverie of stolen passion caught up to you and you remembered where you were and that Sam and Bucky were only feet away. Your mouths broke apart and you found yourself sucking in oxygen to clear the haze that had settled in your mind. Then you caught the look in Zemo’s eye.

Molten brown was swirled with darkness and hunger, but most of all, you could see want. The heavy breathing coming from your slightly parted lips was the only sound in the cramped bathroom aside from your racing heart you could hear. You hoped that the scent of your freshly injected serum masked the smell of how hot and bothered you were.

“Diana?” Bucky called once more. Heated burned across your cheeks as you sputtered in place and struggled for words, watching as Zemo smirked in enjoyment and reached up to grab your chin, his thumb lightly brushing your teeth bitten, kiss swollen, lower lip. 

“He is,” You answered in a strained voice, hoping Bucky took that as an ‘I’m in pain’ and not as an ‘I just made out with the Baron… so that would be a no’ tone. “He’s just making sure I don’t fall on my face… again.” By the time you were done speaking, your voice was a breathless whisper.

Zemo’s amused smirk grew, and your lip wobbled beneath his fiery touch, tingling from both his gentle strokes and his voracious kisses. Gods, this man knew exactly what he was doing to you, and you were now sure he enjoyed it.

“I’ll be out in a minute, I just need to wash the blood off,” You called, your eyes locked up in deep possessive brown ones. Bucky let out a grunt and his footsteps faded. Let out a shuddering breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and slumped against the sink counter. 

“I will be waiting in the main cabin, mačkice,” (Kitten) Zemo said gently, brushing some hair behind your ear and letting his fingers trail across your cheek. Then his head bent back down, but rather than kiss you again, his lips pressed against your glowing cheek ever so softly. “Call if you need assistance,” his whispered words slipped across your skin and sent another shiver up your spine.  

You had to sink your teeth into your tingling lower lip to stop yourself from whimpering as his hands slipped from your body and Zemo extracted himself from the bathroom. 

You were in so much trouble.

Date Published: 7/14/22

Last Edit: 7/14/22

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[afteriwake]

A Carter Family Holiday Event (A "Just Pieces On The Board" Story)

So here's some Christmas fluff from the extended Carter/Stark/Holmes/Parker family! With bonus Steve and Happy. Please enjoy the Christmas fluff?

A Carter Family Holiday Event - Tony watches as his family decorates for Christmas.

READ @ AO3 | SERIES PAGE

It was Christmas tree decorating time in Tony’s apartment, two weeks after Thanksgiving. His family was there to help, and he relished in that. Pepper, Molly and Sherlock, Sharon, Steve, Peter and May, Happy...by blood or by choice, these people were his family. After years of being alone or just having Pepper and Happy, it was great to have a real family, especially around the holidays.

Barnes had been located, but he was in Wakanda getting the best care he could to deal with the brainwashing, Prince T’Challa assured him, but the near assassination of King T’Chaka and the appearance of Bucky after all the time Steve had spent looking for him had made for interesting times. T’Challa’s kid sister was some sort of scientific genius and Tony had made plans to fly both the Prince and his sister out to tour Stark Industries to see if there was any science they’d be willing to share. The beginnings diplomatic visits started without the politics, though Sherlock had said Mycroft might try and make some official parlay with England if it went well.

But that was a topic for another time. Steve was more pensive than usual, so Tony had set him in charge of the Christmas tree decorating music and it showed. “I'll Be Home For Christmas” blared from the speakers as Sharon and Molly threw popcorn at each other instead of making a popcorn garland, Sherlock steadied the ladder Pepper was on to hang tinsel at the top of the tree, and Steve was putting smaller more fragile ornaments towards the bottom with May’s help. Peter was in the kitchen making them brownies and cookies, since apparently his son could make a mean batch of brownies that were almost as good as Darcy’s better-than-sex brownies.

Tony knew he could have had professionals do it, but he’d demanded family time and his family had capitulated without much protest. It was nice to have them all here, and he was walking around taking pictures. Not that he couldn’t help if he wanted to, but it would be nice to have physical manifestations of the memories later.

“Not that I don’t like the classics,” Tony said, “but can we get something a bit more...bubbly?”

“No Mariah Carey!” Sharon and Molly chorused, then dissolved into giggles.

Steve cracked a grin and moved away from May and the ornaments, putting on “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” “Better?” he asked.

“Much,” Tony said with a nod. He went over to Steve and clapped him on the shoulder. “If you’re worried about Bucky, I can call try and call Princess Shuri and we can get an update, okay?”

“Thanks,” Steve said, a grateful smile replacing the barely there grin. “I just...if Zemo hadn’t triggered him, he’d be okay.”

“No he wouldn’t,” Sherlock interjected. He hadn’t been involved in the security detail and attempted assassination attempt, but Molly had been as a S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison and she told him everything. It had been one of the few times she’d been in danger in years, but Sharon had had her back and they’d gotten King T’Chaka to safety away from a rampaging Bucky Barnes with minor injuries. Molly’s arm was still in a sling, the only sign left that anything untoward had happened to either of his nieces.

“How so?” May asked.

“What Princess Shuri aims to do is rid him of the brainwashing permanently. No more triggers. Bucky could always be triggered again by those with ill intent if he wasn’t going through this. But as Molly told me, he remembered you, Steve. You had the power to break the hold the brainwashing had on him. With you by his side, I’m sure Bucky will be fine.”

“I hope you’re right, Sherlock,” Steve said with a nod.

“Why don’t you help me decorate the mantle?” May said. “I think we’ve done all we can do with the tree.”

Pepper climbed down from the ladder and made her way to Peter. “Can I steal a cookie, Peter?”

“The peanut blossom ones are cool,” he said with a grin, and Tony snapped a picture of Pepper wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulder as she swiped a cookie. It was nice to see the two of the getting along so well. And the fact that all the adults in the family had basically adopted May into their family even though she was biologically just Peter’s family warmed his heart.

Sherlock took a step back and looked at Tony. “I think it’s time to see it with the lights,” he said to Tony. “My wife and her cousin are more interested in a popcorn fight than making the chain.”

“Hey, be happy it’s the only kind of fighting we do these days,” Sharon said with a smile, brushing off stray kernels from her lap. She stood up and looked around. “I’ll sweep it up. Want some more wine, Molly?”

“No thank you,” Molly said. “I’d love some sparkling cider, though.”

“I’ll get it," Sherlock said, going over to his wife and kissing the top of her head and squeezing her good shoulder. She looked up with a wide smile on her face and Tony got a picture of the two of them having a private moment. He’d get it framed and give it to them as a present if it turned out good.

“Sharon, you don’t have to clean up,” Happy said. He’d been in the other room gathering decorating supplies and had just come out with more for the mantle. “I can do it.”

:No, I helped make the mess,” she said, smiling at Happy. "I'll clean it up." She went over and took some of the boxes. “Let’s go help Steve and May. The mess can wait for a bit.”

“The gingerbread men are almost ready for decorating!” Peter called out.

“Well, as soon as the mantle is done, let’s light this sucker up!’ Tony said, setting down the camera. Pepper picked it up and aimed it at Tony, and he mugged for the camera before grinning at her, going over and pulling her into his arms. “Isn’t this great, Pep? A real family Christmas.”

“It is," she said with a smile, kissing his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Tony.”

“Merry Christmas, Pep.”

“Let me get everyone for a family picture once we light the tree!” Happy said from the mantle, where he and Steve were unraveling a poinsettia garland.

“It’s got a timer, Happy. The picture wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t in it,” Tony said sincerely.

“Boss...I’m family?” Happy asked, surprised.

“Nearest and dearest,” Tony said with a nod, and he swiped the camera from Pepper and got a shot of Happy’s wide smile. Yeah, these were all his nearest and dearest, and he was happy to have them here tonight. His family, all together for the holidays. Who could ask for anything more?

[luna-rainbow]

April fools (2023)

So, after careful introspection, I have decided that actually, Stucky doesn't do it for me any more. I have found my new OT3 - Bucky/Rocket/Nebula.

Firstly, the ship name is just better. Just because fate keeps “sticking” them together doesn’t make “Stucky” okay.

On the other hand, BUCKETULA just rolls off the tongue, like a skittish tarantula but more pleasant. I am also rather partial to NEBUROCKY.

Reasons they are my OT3:

Bucky has 1 vowel, Rocket has 2 vowels, Nebula has 3 vowels. The universe aligned for them.

We all love leather-clad tired-of-your-shit feral soldiers, and this ship has THREE

They are born on 3 different planets but have SHARED LIFE EXPERIENCES: Bucky was captured, brainwiped and had his body forcibly modified; Nebula was captured, brainwashed and had her body taken apart and replaced piece by piece; Rocket was captured, enhanced against his wishes and had his body taken apart and implants inserted.’

Reasons they are made for each other: Bucky loves flying vehicles, and both Nebula and Rocket can fly ships! Rocket loves prosthetics and both Bucky and Nebula have prosthetics! Nebula loves using guns, and both Rocket and Bucky carry a lot of guns!

Evidence they already love each other: Bucky and Rocket only met for 5 seconds and they were able to fight back to back like long term partners. Rocket and Nebula only reunited for 5 minutes and were able to overcome their previous enmity and work together. If Bucky and Rocket get along, and Nebula and Rocket get along, it follows that Nebula and Bucky will get along!

Don't forget that Rocket still calls Peter "Quill" years after they met, but already calls Bucky "Bucky". And while Bucky couldn't make it to the Christmas party, he still sent Rocket his favourite gift, an old prosthetic arm, via Nebula <3

Not to mention that after Bucky was Snapped, Rocket was so upset he changed his costume from front panels (left, Infinity War) to side panels like Bucky’s (right, Endgame). Clearly Bucky stole his little gremlin heart after that dance on the battlefields.

It is very clear to me that the three of them went on a space adventure after Bucky came back from the Blip, which is how they got so close. It also explains why Bucky has an empty apartment in New York because what's the point of furnishing your place when your space friends might drop by any minute and take you on a road trip to the next galaxy. Bucky also clearly learned his jailbreaking skills from Rocket, breaking Zemo out by causing a distraction wasn’t much different to the first GotG movie!

These three clearly have a lot of love for each other. James Gunn is just too up his own ass to see it. Stay tuned for more meta and fics coming your way!

[missvelvetsstuff]

Guarded Heart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

MobAu

Summary: Y/N is the daughter of a powerful mob boss who only cares about her horses and making it to the Olympics but her father expects her to marry an equally powerful boss to help strengthen his business. Bucky is looking for a wife to help his business but already has a long term girlfriend, Natasha.

Chapter 18

Warnings: swearing, angst. I think that's it.

The next morning Bucky tried to get out of bed without waking Y/N but he wasn't that graceful. As he reached for the doorknob she spoke up "Where are you headed to so early?"

He turned around to see her looking at him with one eyebrow raised "It's just a breakfast thing, doll, nothing for you to worry about."

"You mean a meeting with Loki to discuss how to find and deal with Zemo?" She glared at him "You know damn well I want to be there. Don't make a habit of trying to hide things to protect me, I'm not that girl."

Bucky sat on the bed next to her "I won't but right now your body is still healing and yesterday-"

She shook her head "No. We aren't going there. Yesterday was a bad day but I shouldn't have let it all get to me like that. Fainting at the cemetery like some damsel in distress" she scoffed "my father would be so disappointed. I'm sorry you had to see that but appreciate the support." She turned to get out of the bed "Give me 30 to clean up and I'll be ready to go."

Bucky looked at her concerned "You know it's ok to be overwhelmed, you've been through so much and barely given yourself time to recover. You can trust me to handle things while you heal. Keep pushing so hard and you really will collapse."

Y/N just glared at him as she went into the bathroom. After 10 minutes struggling with her clothes and hair she threw her brush at the mirror and slid down the wall to the floor, crying angrily. A few minutes later she heard knocking on the bathroom door. She sighed and tried to ignore it but came again, more insistent.

"Y/N? Bucky said you might need some help getting ready"

Hearing her mother's voice just made the sobs worse.

"Sweetheart? Its ok of you need help. We all need help sometimes. Can you unlock the door so I can help you?"

Y/N sighed and wiped the tears from her face then reached up to unlock the door. Her mother slowly opened the door and saw her daughter sitting on the floor with red swollen eyes.

"Oh, Y/N. Let me help honey." offering her hand then pulling her up when she reached out. Once Y/N was standing she pulled her into a hug. "I know it's all a mess right now but it will get better. Let me help you get ready for your meeting." She knew better than to suggest Y/N stay here and let Bucky handle things.

Even when Y/N was little she was stubborn and tried to keep going regardless of what her body told her. They once found her mucking out stalls when she was 6 and supposed to be in bed with a high fever.

After a few minutes Y/N was dressed with her hair fixed and a hint of make-up. "Thats much better. You should get something to eat before you go, you know how these things can drag on." She looked her daughter in the eye "I know you won't listen but try not to over do it ok? Let Bucky know if it's too much." then pulled her into a soft hug.

Y/N nodded and spoke softly "Thank you, Mama. I'll try."

She grabbed her purse and put her phone in it then headed downstairs to see that everyone was up and rushing about to get ready to leave.

Bucky came up to her with a coffee "Vanilla creamer, right?" And smiled at her.

She nodded and gave him a small smile as she took her coffee.

"You look beautiful but you always do."

She shook her head "You're sweet but obviously delusional." She saw George and Steve waiting by the door to the garage and smiled at them. "You all waiting on me? Sorry I took so long but I'm ready to go."

George smiled "Worth the wait. You let one of us know if it gets to be too much. I'm sure Loki wont mind if we take regular breaks."

Y/N smiled and shook her head "Thank you but I'll be fine. I'd rather get this handled and move on with our lives."

George nodded, impressed with her tenacity and opened the door to the garage for her.

They said goodbye to her mother and Winnie before climbing into the SUV and heading to Loki's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Loki's house the table was covered with breakfast foods. He held a chair out for Y/N to sit.

"Are you sure you're up for this, love? You can trust me to ensure your interests are considered. You know-"

Y/N shook her head "No! I'm fine. Please don't treat me like I'm some delicate flower who can't handle herself."

Loki pulled back "I'm sorry, I'm just concerned."

She held the tears back "I know, I'm sorry for snapping. It's just-" she paused and dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

Loki rubbed her back "It's alright, pet. Just know that everyone here will understand if you need to take breaks or rest."

She shook her head "I know but I don't want to be seen as the broken woman who needs breaks and rest to handle her business. I have to be strong and keep going. It's what my father wanted." She looked in his eyes. "I'll be fine." Pleading with her eyes for him to believe her.

"Very well" Loki went to sit and cleared his throat.

"If you all have your food and drinks I think we should get started."

Everyone nodded and grunted in agreement and Loki started

"I think we're all agreed that Zemo needs to be handled immediately. So we can move on to how he is handled.

Does anyone have any insight into where he might be staying? There's been no trace of him at his house or Pierce's property. I'm not sure where else to look."

Bucky spoke up "Does he have any other properties? Or maybe one of Pierce or Dreykovs offices or warehouses? I'll go door to door if I have to."

Yelena sighed "There is a safehouse, in the Catskills. Well more of a compound. Used to be one of those family resorts like in Dirty Dancing. We- Dreykov used it while he was plotting against the Barnes and Y/L/N families. And for his trafficking business, plenty of space to keep the girls and no one around for miles."

Bucky nodded "That sounds promising."

Yelena shook her head "It's gated like a military compound but better armed and with a maze of tunnels beneath. A frontal attack would be the worst play, we wouldn't stand a chance."

Loki nodded "I'm assuming you know your way around there?"

Yelena nodded "We used to stay there when Natasha-" she stopped herself quickly "I'm sorry, I-"

Hela covered Yelenas hand gently "It's alright pet"

Yelena blushed "We uh, we spent many sleepless nights wandering around to learn where everything was. Snuck out a number of times too." She quieted and thought for a moment "There is a tunnel that comes out on the outside of the fence. I don't know if Dreykov knew about it, he was too busy working to find his way. I remember it wasn't on the blueprints. If Zemo doesn't know about it that tunnel might be our best way to get in."

Loki looked around the table to read the room, then nodded. "Very well, then I need you to draw the plan up, the best you can remember."

He looked at Y/N who was obviously crumbling then back to Yelena

"How much time do you think you'll need?"

Yelena shrugged "A couple of hours maybe. I'm not sure. If we could get a copy of the blueprints that would help."

"Very well. Lang? Y/N has bragged about your hacking skills. Do you think you can get a copy of those blueprints from the county?"

Scott nodded "Yeah, gimme like an hour. And I need the address."

Yelena gave Scott the address and everything else she could remember, then he went to work on his laptop.

Loki showed Yelena to his office and the drafting table he rarely used since his desire to become an architect was pushed aside when Thor abdicated. He left her alone to work on the plans and returned to the table.

Loki looked at Y/N "Come on love. This will take some time so I want you to lay down and rest for a bit."

Y/N glared at him and snapped "I know you're trying to help but I'm fine. I won't look weak in front of everyone."

Loki gave her a warning look. "It's not weak to need time to recover from a serious injury. If you don't allow your body to heal you will break down eventually.

You know Barnes didn't even participate in his family business after his accident until she showed up. He was wasted most of the time after that. At least until he met you."

"Well, I'm not Barnes and the business didn't have this kind of shit to deal with back then. I'll be fine."

Pietro broke in timidly "He's right boss. No one will look down on you for it. Just rest for a little while."

Y/N looked at his leg "I'm not sure you're in any place to talk to anyone about taking time to heal."

Pietro grinned "Maybe not but I wasn't hurt as badly as you are. I didn't lose people I love either. Please, I'll rest if you do."

She sighed loudly "Fine but someone better get me before you start making plans. Wake me up if you need to."

Pietro smirked "I'll try but you are a bitch to wake up." He looked around until he saw Bucky "Barnes, can you take her to the den to rest while we wait?"

Bucky smiled "Of course. Whatever she needs."

Y/N rolled her eyes "Not fair of you to gang up on me but fine. I'll go."

She showed Bucky to the den and sat in the recliner, putting her feet up. Bucky sat back into the couch and closed his eyes for a minute.

He was startled awake by Pietro "Looks like we have it Barnes. You want to wake her up or should I?"

Bucky grumbled, he hadn't meant to doze off "I'll get her"

He stood up and stretched before gently rubbing her right shoulder "Hey doll, we're ready."

She mumbled "Five more minutes" then stretched and adjusted herself before her light snores started back up.

Bucky chuckled softly "Come on sweetheart. We have the blueprints and everyone is ready."

She started "Blueprints?" before her brain caught up and her eyes opened to see his bright blue eyes looking at her. She felt an familiar warmth in her core, then closed her eyes and shook her head, leaning forward to sit up. "Right, blueprints. I'm up."

"Do you need any help, doll?"

She opened her eyes and glared at him.

"Sorry, sorry. Just trying to help. I'll be in the dining room waiting for you."

"Alright, I'll be right there."

At the table most of the group was going over the plans and Yelenas drawing of the tunnels, speaking softly.

Y/N walked in and sat in her seat from earlier, yawning. Bucky put a cup of coffee in front of her and she smiled at him, which warmed his heart.

Loki took over the meeting and they spent 3 hours discussing their options. Sometimes politely but often broke into arguments over tactics.

Some were all for stealth while others preferred rushing in guns blazing.

It was almost dinner time when they finally found a compromise that everyone grudgingly accepted. The meeting ended with everyone headed home for food and rest before meeting at the Barnes early in the morning to drive to the closest estate to where Zemo was holed up. Then wait for nightfall to go in and finish this war once and for all.

On the drive back to his parents, Bucky tried to figure out how to discourage Y/N from joining them without making her upset enough to go alone. Which is why her first comment on the plans left him speechless.

@bigphattygyal @cjand10 @lokiandbuckysdoll

"You should use me as bait."

Chapter 19

@kimomoraba @avery199 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @esposadomd @sebsgirl71479

[cobrafantasies]

https://www.tumblr.com/merakiaes/648669262112751616/tfatws-ep5-spoilers-below-the-cut-do-you-know

I want to hear your Sarahbucky thoughts! I was reading this post and it was making me think about how this point in time Bucky is in a better place mentally and when he is, he starts flirting with Sarah and we get to see some of that old Bucky come back. I guess I keep wondering if I’m the only one who thinks that this might not have happened a week sooner for him. Am I the only one who thinks that Bucky couldn’t have and wouldn’t have flirted with anyone until his therapist got through to him and his relationship with Sam repaired enough for buck to decide to start letting people in? I stand by him not being interested in Leah, which is why he didn’t flirt her up like he did with sarah, but i wonder if maybe i’m the only one who reads bucky’s character as someone who wasn’t developed enough to make moves like this until arc reached the ‘turning zemo over to the wakandans’ point in his story. I don’t know, do you think Civi War!Bucky and/or Wakanda!Bucky would have also turned on the charm with Sarah if he had met her back then?

Hi there! I'm surprised I was asked this since I don't actively write/repost SarahBucky but I'm happy to share my thoughts anyhow. I completely agree that it's very possible Bucky wouldn't have been ready to flirt with anyone (Sarah included) even if he had met her any sooner. I think working with Sam and specifically the time spent in Louisiana were major factors in Bucky slowly lowering his defenses and opening back up. I think a huge reason the real, flirty Bucky Barnes is able to reemerge might be because Sam and Sarah already know who he is, parts of what he's been through, and the mere fact that he has a prosthetic arm. I believe that was part of why Bucky seemed uncomfortable with Leah, she asked about his gloves and he lied to her, understandably so, but he felt the need to hide himself. He doesn't need to hide in front of Sam or Sarah. Specifically, I think CivilWar!Bucky had way too much to process and recover from and then proceeds to go through yet another traumatic event. Then Wakanda!Bucky has his first real chance at healing. I do believe he experienced some peace in Wakanda but he was still adjusting to so much. And then he immediately needs to fight in the war against Thanos. In TFATWS, I personally don't think his mandated therapy (as it was shown in the show) was helpful to him at all but oppositely, being accepted by the Wilson family changed everything for him. I will say I'm a SamBucky shipper at heart but that first meeting of Sarah and Bucky when Bucky introduces himself, smiles at her like that, and the way he repeats her name like he needs to hear it again — I swear that nearly tempted me to write SarahBucky many times back when the show first came out. And I have read a handful of wonderful stories on them. I fully support them as a couple even if I don't actively ship it. Anyway, thanks for the ask!

[logicheartsoul]

Just going through my wip folder again to finish off gifs and just reminded how many I have lol including some finished but never published gifs too

I have so much of quantum encounter to still finish giffing, this part is so much fun

I love in Assembled they actually PUT some of the dailies in??? And I’ve been meaning to gif the fight in Zemo’s apartment in forever (the interior design in that place is just. stunning.) and there’s currently 8 in that set I just haven’t gotten around to finishing it lmao

This is a gif I actually finished, it was based on a post a million years ago wondering if Sam and Bucky hold hands when running away from the fire and the answer is close lol does holding his wrist count?

One of the VERY FEW stackie bloopers in Assembled and they’re dorks. Utter dorks lol

I know a million people probably giffed this hug but it was also in my wips, so I might finish it lol

Now for the crops (and finished gif)! Quantum Encounter in HD is soooo lovely and we all deserve to see Sam in glorious HD 

[breadtheft1796]

Hello! I see you said 'waking up to unbearable aches' is based off something Sparz and I said, so I'd love to hear about that. If it's not shareable here on Tumblr, you know my DMs are always open 😘 and if that's the case, then I'll ask about 'nothing but theatre wip' instead, because I'd love to get a sneak preview of what's coming up there.

thank you! <3

there was definitely some idea sharing for that one a while ago and i've been meaning to finish it for so long but life. we love some zemo family bonding ;)

i have to be honest, 'nothing but theatre' is giving me such a headache to finish, nothing is fitting in the way i want it to, but i do have a little bit written up. hopefully the inspiration to finish it comes soon (although, fingers crossed it's after the exam period and not during XD)

snippets under the cut.

'waking up to unbearble aches'

his joke landed flat, and karl toppled precariously on the two back legs of his chair as he reached out to grab his father’s wrist, his grip tight enough to stop him from leaving with a huff of annoyance.

“do you get it?” he suppressed his laugh that time; if helmut hadn’t spent his whole 19 years of life reading him, he might have missed the way it still flickered around behind his expression, only adding handfuls of dry foliage to the raging bonfire of humiliation in his chest.

'nothing but theatre wip'

steve looked like he was chewing on glass rather than porridge, even abrupt sips of coffee didn’t seem to be shifting the shards from his throat, but bucky drank his own down without feeling anything except zemo’s hand in his, grounding enough to stop him bobbing along the ceiling like an untethered helium balloon might. he felt so light.

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

Look Out for the Little Guy! (Dedication & Introduction):  

- The dedication:

"To my two favorite partners: Hope and Cassie, this one's for you!" Adorable. Plus, "my precious Hope" still kills me.

Now, I read the intro a few weeks ago and talked a bit about it, so this won't be super long. But here are things that stood out this time around.

- I'm curious why he can't go into detail about the CW conflict, especially considering the fact that he implies the Raft and by the time this book comes out the Accords have been repealed. Maybe everything with Zemo and the UN is classified or something. Though that's still a bit odd. Either way.

(Granted, I know what the real reason is. Heaven forbid Marvel actually deal with CW ever.)

- "[T]hat whole fight got resolved [...] Otherwise our planet would be a scorched battlefield of never-ending intra-Avengers smackdowns." Uhhh, who's gonna tell him?

- "And you’re a guy everyone likes . . . and trusts." Okay, I didn't say this when I initially talked about this, but that quote makes my "there's something you're not saying" senses start tingling. Like, I can totally believe that everyone Avengers adjacent likes and trusts Scott, but that damn ellipsis coupled with it coming from Clint makes it seem real cagey. I do have a theory as to what they might be acting cagey about, but we shall see.

- According to this, Scott worked at Vistacorp for three years, but I'm curious when he started. The MCU Wiki claims the heist took place in July 2012, but that seems like too tight of a window since his sentence would've started around that time. I don't know, I'm no lawyer, but I feel like it had to've taken longer than a few days/weeks for the heist to happen, Scott get arrested and have a whole trial, and then his sentence start. I know I'm probably nitpicking or some such. I'm just curious about the pre-AM timeline of things.

- And finally:

This dude, I swear. lol.

[seitmai]

“Well, part of the fun of shopping is picking out your own stuff,” you said, careful to leave the bite out of your voice. “And part of the fun of gift giving is surprising the receiver,” he said, kissing your temple. “I was trying to surprise you by having stuff you liked ready,” he added in a smaller voice.

God, Bucky really can twist everything his way 🥴

“You deserve it,” he said, sighing as he raked a hand through his hair. “I can't believe I won't see you tomorrow.” You glanced at him and noted the droop in his shoulders. He may have dismissed your feelings from time to time, but it wouldn't help you to dismiss his when you were stuck in a vehicle with him. “I know it'll be tough, but it’s one day and you do have a photo of me to look at if you’ll miss me.” Who knew what else he had since your place was bugged. “I do. I’ll probably look at it all day between work and other stuff,” he smiled, tilting his head toward you.

It's sweet but also a little bit creepy 🫣

“I think you’re one of the furthest things from a coward. Given the circumstances, you’ve been extremely brave,” he said. You didn't feel brave, but it was kind of nice to hear. “But one other favor? Don’t tear your place apart looking for the bugs either.” You practically threw your arms up in the air, his compliment of you forgotten. The man was beyond exasperating. “Oh, come on! You’re giving me the day to myself, but I still have to stay in the city and I can’t get rid of the bugs?” You smacked his chest before you could stop yourself. “Your compromises suck, do you know that?”

For real!

That cut his laughter short, but his eyes still sparkled with amusement. “Now we both know you’d donate my clothes before throwing them out. At least make your threat credible.” “I… Okay, no, I wouldn't throw them away,” you said, smacking his chest once more when he looked like he’d laugh again. “But you may be onto something with donating. Maybe I'll donate your first editions to someone, too.” “You wouldn't.” He tapped the tip of your nose, sending more fire through your veins. “You’re not the vengeful type.” Grabbing his wrist before he could pull away, you lightly bit his finger and drew a sharp gasp from him. “I might just surprise us both.”

Oh, don't threaten me with a good time 😌

He pulled back, his breathing ragged and a glazed look in his eyes. “I’m not a monster. I’m not,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. You braced yourself against the wall as he turned to leave, pausing to look over his shoulder. “I’ve just never wanted or needed anyone like you. I’m… I’m trying.”

🥴🥴🥴

Curling up on your bed next to the bag, you whispered, “Once again, you win.”

Would luck ever be on your side when it came to him?

This really broke my heart 💔

Had Bucky carved out a place for himself so deep in your core that everything went back to him? Was this how he went about his day? Did he see something or do something and his mind just went to you? How did one function when someone else constantly invaded their thoughts?

This is haunting 🥴🫣

“And it’s nice to finally meet the lady who has James Buchanan Barnes so enamored.” Your heart thudded in your chest, turning to face him. He had a knowing smile on his face, like he knew you were either afraid or worried. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?” “I don't believe you do. How rude of me to assume.” He extended a gloved hand toward you. “Helmut Zemo. James and I work together on occasion.”

Oh 👀

He shrugged a bit. “I may have bribed someone or two. Nothing for you to trouble yourself with.” Your stomach plummeted. What was wrong with these men?

For real!!

You bent over, taking a few deep breaths like he instructed. “You said I can do this, but I don't know if I can, Ray. I’m not brave,” you said in a small voice.

🥺🥺🥺

Bucky didn't have anything to fear. He was a king who ruled his city and decided what to do with the peasants. You didn’t ask for him to entangle you in anything of his, the peasant that you were. You just wanted to survive at this point.

I feel for her 🥺💔

Ray shook his head. “He’s in a mood and he misses you,” he replied. You pushed the guilt away. Bucky had to learn to handle time apart.

Urgh but Bucky has already weaseled himself into her mind 🫣🥴

Hold You Tight: Part 13

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 12 | Series Masterlist | Part 14

Chapter Word Count: Over 4.8k

Chapter Summary: You're on edge, but try to enjoy the day of freedom that Bucky promised you.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, mild dubcon (kissing, touching), tension, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, gaslighting, manipulation, stalking, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

For his part, Bucky behaved once you were back in the shop. He waited patiently while you tried on a couple of the dresses and didn't attempt to go back into the dressing room or force you to come out and model them. You were thankful for that since there wasn't anything to jam under the doorknob and you didn’t need him to corner you again. Who knew how much he’d push the envelope the next time.

Before you went to the counter, you grabbed a cardigan from a rack. “This, too, please” you said, handing it to the associate. It would be nice to have in case you got cold at the vineyard.

“Of course,” she smiled, ringing it up with the other garments and accessories selected.

Bucky eyed the cardigan with a small smile. “That looks warm and comfortable,” he commented, sliding a card across the counter. “I should’ve remembered that,” he said almost to himself.

“Well, part of the fun of shopping is picking out your own stuff,” you said, careful to leave the bite out of your voice.

“And part of the fun of gift giving is surprising the receiver,” he said, kissing your temple. “I was trying to surprise you by having stuff you liked ready,” he added in a smaller voice.

You didn’t miss the glance from the associate, making you feel as small as Bucky’s voice sounded. Of course, he made himself look like a doting boyfriend and your comment made you sound ungrateful. “It was a really nice gesture and I loved the dresses selected. Thank you,” you said. He showed that he knew and liked your taste like a caring partner would do. “But maybe during the next shopping trip I can go through and pick everything out myself?” It would give you some sort of autonomy.

“Sure,” he smiled, likely happy at the prospect of there being a next time.

You mumbled a thank you to the associate before Bucky carried everything out of the store, not at all ashamed to carry stuff for his girl. Another doting boyfriend gesture. He even refused to let Ray take the garments from him when he held the door open. Nor did he let his bodyguard help you into the car.

“I didn’t spoil you as much as I wanted to, but it’s a start,” he smiled once you both got settled in.

“Yeah, it is,” you said. In your eyes, he spoiled you plenty. “I really do appreciate it. I’m not used to someone wanting to spoil me.”

Past boyfriends didn't care enough to do nice things like that. The last girl Bucky dated tried to steal from him, but did she demand shopping trips? Maybe he was simply happy to spend his money beyond you being his girl because you didn't expect or ask him to.

“You deserve it,” he said, sighing as he raked a hand through his hair. “I can't believe I won't see you tomorrow.”

You glanced at him and noted the droop in his shoulders. He may have dismissed your feelings from time to time, but it wouldn't help you to dismiss his when you were stuck in a vehicle with him. “I know it'll be tough, but it’s one day and you do have a photo of me to look at if you’ll miss me.” Who knew what else he had since your place was bugged.

“I do. I’ll probably look at it all day between work and other stuff,” he smiled, tilting his head toward you. “Do you think you could do me a favor?”

You eyed him suspiciously. “Depends on the favor,” you replied. God, did he want you to send him an explicit photo of you or something?

He made sure he was looking you in the eye. “Don’t run tomorrow. Don't leave the city,” he stated.

You blinked. The man wasn’t psychic, so how could he possibly know you thought of doing that very thing? At least, to get out of the city earlier than the girls trip. Was your poker face that terrible? “You think I’ll run?”

“I think part of you wants to try. Not even because you want freedom, but because you want to rebel against me and take back some control,” he replied. For his part, he didn’t sound upset. “But I think you and I both know you either won’t get far or you won’t end up running at all.”

You opened and shut your mouth. You wanted to. God knows you wanted to get far away. “Do you think I’m a coward if I don’t try?” You weren’t sure why his opinion on the situation mattered since he was the cause of it all.

“I think you’re one of the furthest things from a coward. Given the circumstances, you’ve been extremely brave,” he said. You didn't feel brave, but it was kind of nice to hear. “But one other favor? Don’t tear your place apart looking for the bugs either.”

You practically threw your arms up in the air, his compliment of you forgotten. The man was beyond exasperating. “Oh, come on! You’re giving me the day to myself, but I still have to stay in the city and I can’t get rid of the bugs?” You smacked his chest before you could stop yourself. “Your compromises suck, do you know that?”

His eyebrows shot up. “Did you… did you just say my compromises suck?” He threw his head back, his laughter filling the car. “Your insults are just as adorable as you are.”

“Yes, that’s what I said and my insults aren’t adorable,” you said, your face hot when he kept chuckling. “And I swear if you find some sort of loophole to see me tomorrow, I will go to your penthouse and throw out all of your expensive suits for being a liar.”

That cut his laughter short, but his eyes still sparkled with amusement. “Now we both know you’d donate my clothes before throwing them out. At least make your threat credible.”

“I… Okay, no, I wouldn't throw them away,” you said, smacking his chest once more when he looked like he’d laugh again. “But you may be onto something with donating. Maybe I'll donate your first editions to someone, too.”

“You wouldn't.” He tapped the tip of your nose, sending more fire through your veins. “You’re not the vengeful type.”

Grabbing his wrist before he could pull away, you lightly bit his finger and drew a sharp gasp from him. “I might just surprise us both.”

Heat crept up your neck at the look in his eyes. “I have no doubt about that,” he whispered, holding the back of your head and closing the gap between you.

His lips were persistent against yours, but still soft. So was his tongue invading your mouth. You put a hand against his chest as he pushed further into your space, but he was an immovable wall. You should've known he’d take your action as foreplay. He would twist anything and everything you did in his favor.

His scruff tickled your cheek as you turned your head away to breathe, but the intake of air didn't slow your heart. “Did you know I’ve dreamt of moments like this with you?” His hand cupped your breast through your top as you shuddered. You were trapped once again, just like in the shop. “You riled up or flustered and you making me laugh? Just… little moments.”

“No,” you whispered, his thumb brushing your nipple until it hardened. Touching you, having you, yes, you knew he dreamt of those things. You knew he wanted a connection. Hearing how much he craved the little things made your head spin, too.

“Well, I have.” Before you could tell him to stop, his hand fell away. “I won’t bother you tomorrow,” he whispered, brushing his hair back and settling once again in his seat. “As much as I want to see you, I won't.”

You smoothed out your top and got comfortable again, too. The underlying tension didn't cease when he took your hand and you didn't flinch or pull away. He wouldn't try anything else. Not tonight. You just knew.

“Try not to run tomorrow, okay?” he asked.

You looked out the window and caught him looking at you in the glass, the semi distorted image an accurate description of your relationship. You knew it was off, that he was off. No one else would see it that way or just didn’t care.

“I’ll try not to,” you replied.

Whether it was cowardly to not try or stupidly brave to stay, you might just have to stay put.

You didn't say much for the remainder of the car ride. Bucky brought up the double date again with Steve and you didn't argue when he suggested a couple of places. Maybe you could figure out what Steve was doing to this girl and you could help each other out. At the very least, it would be nice to have a new friend who might understand a bit of what you were going through.

It was fucked up way to think.

Bucky managed to balance the books he purchased for you earlier that day as well as the clothes once Ray parked the car. “I can carry something,” you offered.

“I've got it, but thanks,” he said, refusing to let Ray help either. “And this way, I'll keep my hands to myself,” he added with a smirk.

You bristled, but recovered quickly. “I hope you have a good evening, Ray.”

He gave you a nod and what looked like a hint of a smile. “You as well.”

You were a bundle of nerves as you went into your building. You were close to having time to yourself, but Bucky was still going up to your apartment since he insisted on carrying everything. The elevator ride up was comfortably silent, but you saw the tension in his body once you got to your floor. He really didn’t want to let you go for a day.

“Thank you again for the books and the clothes,” you said, getting your keys out as he followed closely. He was practically breathing down your neck. “You can just leave everything in the entryway.”

He hummed, stepping inside once you unlocked the door. “You don’t want me in your bedroom?” he guessed.

“I think we’ve had enough excitement for today,” you said. Between kissing you in the shop and his car, you wouldn’t risk it.

He carefully set the books and garments down before he turned to you. In an instant, your back was against the wall and the sound you made muffled by his mouth. He moaned against your lips when you didn’t turn your head away, but you shoved his chest to get him away. You really thought he wouldn’t push anymore tonight. He promised. He…

He stopped.

He pulled back, his breathing ragged and a glazed look in his eyes. “I’m not a monster. I’m not,” he whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. You braced yourself against the wall as he turned to leave, pausing to look over his shoulder. “I’ve just never wanted or needed anyone like you. I’m… I’m trying.”

“I know you are,” you whispered. And he wanted you to want and need him, too.

He smiled sadly and you almost reached out to soothe him, but you refrained. “Enjoy your day tomorrow,” he said.

The door shut before you could respond, leaving you in the silence of your apartment. A minute or two passed before you went to your room. Uncaring of the bugs around your place, you began to pack a few things in a tote bag with tears in your eyes. You wouldn’t leave tonight, but you’d be prepared if you wanted to go tomorrow. Who were you kidding, would you leave at all?

You blinked the tears away when you caught the photo of you and your friends on the dresser. It was foolish to think of escaping if it meant risking something happening to your loved ones. Addison and Brady. Dana. Your other friends. Mrs. Crandle. In the end, you would have to stay for them. Your life for their safety and continued happiness.

A small price to pay.

Curling up on your bed next to the bag, you whispered, “Once again, you win.”

Would luck ever be on your side when it came to him?

There were no texts from Bucky when you woke up the next morning. It felt… oddly quiet, but you weren’t sure if that was a relief or something you didn’t want to think about. Nothing was out of place in your apartment, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were still being watched thanks to the bugs. There were no gifts outside of your door. No breakfast. Just the quiet of your own thoughts as you went about your morning routine.

You smiled as you left the apartment, but it felt different today. Somehow lighter. It was as though normalcy wasn’t a burden, but a chance to breathe, to exist without your new “boyfriend” pulling the strings. The crisp morning air felt welcoming, and the walk to your favorite cafe was like a promise that today you could simply enjoy the time you had. The rich scents of coffee and pastries greeted you like an old friend, and for the first time in days, you felt a flicker of something close to peace.

“Most important meal of the day.”

You tried to push Bucky and his haunting blue eyes from your thoughts, but his absence lingered like a shadow you couldn’t chase away. He still followed you. Today wasn’t a day for lingering on what could happen tomorrow. Today was about you and small steps, about finding comfort in simple moments, and allowing yourself to breathe without the weight of uncertainty. And kindness to a stranger seemed like a good place to start.

“I’d like to pay for the person behind me,” you said.

"Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that," the woman said, her surprise softening into a genuine smile. Something in her tone felt warm, like the simple exchange was more than just about paying for her coffee and pastry. It felt like a shared understanding, a reminder that kindness still mattered, and that it could still find its place in a world that often felt too heavy.

You couldn’t help but smile a little wider. “I wanted to,” you said, taking your to-go bag. You were still capable of offering kindness and still held the belief that it could make a difference, even in small ways. “Have a great day.”

The next stop was the flower shop once you finished your treat. You carefully selected a variety of flowers so you could make a nice arrangement at home. You were far from sad, but it would brighten up your mood more. Working with flowers always gave you a burst of happiness.

Once you were back at your apartment, with no one waiting for you, you got to work. Humming, you cut and prepped the flowers and selected a wide, simple vase. Once you had the grid of tape on, you added the greenery, focal flowers, and filler flowers. You loved the balance and harmony it presented once finished. It was also beautiful.

You snapped a photo of the colorful arrangement and sent it to the girl group chat. “What do we think?”

Addison was the first to respond. “Gorgeous! Seriously, how do you do that? I can’t wait to see what you do for my wedding!”

Dana responded next. “Why are you not running your own shop? Mrs. Crandle is sweet, but you should be in charge.”

You giggled when Gina asked, “Can you please tell me how to keep flowers alive? I’m hopeless.” with just about everyone reacting with a finger pointing up.

“You also appreciate Words of Affirmation, even if compliments make you feel uncertain because you sometimes feel overlooked.”

You hugged your phone to your chest as Bucky’s voice echoed in your mind. The praise from your friends was warm and you felt seen, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if you were seeking validation. Did you need them to remind you that you were good at something? Or was it just that you didn’t want to feel invisible, even in this small corner of your world?

“Love you ladies. Can’t wait for Saturday.”

It was true. You loved them and always would. With the thought of the upcoming weekend and enjoying the time together, your doubt was silenced.

There were still no texts from Bucky as you wrapped up the morning. Things felt normal. It was almost too normal. You felt like you were still holding your breath and looking over your shoulder when you left your place again to head to the bookstore, expecting Bucky to block your path or suddenly show up.

It was silly to visit the bookstore considering you were just there and Bucky bought you a bunch of books. Like the cafe, it was another sense of comfort. You even spotted a new book you previously overlooked. It was a perfect novel to add to your collection.

“Reading has always been a hobby of mine. I even have first editions of some of my favorite books.”

Had Bucky carved out a place for himself so deep in your core that everything went back to him? Was this how he went about his day? Did he see something or do something and his mind just went to you? How did one function when someone else constantly invaded their thoughts?

“Hi. Is Marc working today?” you asked once you were at the counter. You wanted to see with your own eyes that he was okay.

“No, he isn’t, but he’ll be in tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay,” you said, stopping the associate before she bagged the book. Maybe you could find an excuse to go back or call to talk to him. “I’ll just put that in my bag, thanks.”

The weather had warmed up enough that you could go to the park with your new book in hand. Grabbing a seat on an empty bench, you took a moment to appreciate the landscape. It was one of the brightest spots in the city. You sometimes pictured having a picnic date there, looking up at the sky and seeing what shapes the clouds made.

“One day,” you smiled to yourself, getting started on your book.

You were only about one chapter in when a man’s voice jolted you from the pages. “Excuse me, miss. Is this seat available?” You glanced up to find a tall man in a turtleneck and long trench coat standing over you with a charming smile. Was he wearing purple gloves? “My apologies, I didn't mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay.” You nodded to the empty spot. “Feel free.”

“Thank you.” He sat down, his eyes on you as you tried to go back to your book. “Beautiful day, isn't it?”

“It is,” you agreed, turning a page in the hopes he’d get the hint. You didn’t want to be rude by not conversing, but you were trying to read.

“And it’s nice to finally meet the lady who has James Buchanan Barnes so enamored.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, turning to face him. He had a knowing smile on his face, like he knew you were either afraid or worried. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

“I don't believe you do. How rude of me to assume.” He extended a gloved hand toward you. “Helmut Zemo. James and I work together on occasion.”

“Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand, but didn't let it linger. Something about him put you on edge, a different sort of edge than Bucky. “I don't hear many people call him James.”

“He’s not particularly fond of it. He much prefers for people to call him Bucky.”

That said something about their relationship if the man didn't respect Bucky’s preferred name. “Okay, Mr. Zemo. Is there something I can help you with?” You couldn't imagine Bucky sending this man to speak to you. “And, I’m sorry, how did you know where to find me?”

He shrugged a bit. “I may have bribed someone or two. Nothing for you to trouble yourself with.”

Your stomach plummeted. What was wrong with these men? “You sound like Bucky,” you muttered. No wonder they worked together sometimes, if he was telling the truth. “And if you’re bribing people just to get close to me, I think I have the right to know exactly who you spoke to.”

“As I said, it’s nothing for you to trouble yourself with.”

You looked around. There were others at the park, but no one paid any attention to you. What would happen if you screamed? “What do you want from me?” you asked. Was this one of the things Bucky meant when he said it wasn’t safe for you?

He held his hands up. “I mean you no harm. I just wanted to see you face-to-face since I didn't receive an invitation from James to meet you at his club. I’m sure it… slipped his mind,” he said with a bitter smile that had you shifting away from him. “I must say, you don't strike me as the type to fall for a murderer.”

You swallowed a little. “A murderer?” Bucky had referred to himself as a monster who hurt and killed.

“Oh, yes. The blood of many stains his hands, don't you know. Alexander Pierce. Brock Rumlow. Jasper Sitwell. Howard Stark,” he ticked off names like he was listing ingredients for a recipe. “He even killed-”

“I think your time’s up.”

Both of you looked behind you to find Ray standing feet away. It was one of the first times you ever saw the stoic man look angry. “Ray?”

“Ah, Raymond!” Zemo smiled, pushing himself up from the bench. He didn’t look at all intimidated by Bucky’s bodyguard. “I was wondering which one of you would show up. Good to see you still have work.”

Ray blinked twice. “Indeed. And I’m sure you’ll hear from my boss very soon,” he said, walking around the bench to put space between you and the virtual stranger. “For now, you should go back to your side of the city and leave her be.”

“We were only talking.” Zemo held his hands up again. “You don't think I'd pose a threat to the property of James Barnes, do you?”

“I’m no one’s property. I'm a person,” you seethed, holding your head high. You were tired of everyone around you thinking of you as an object. “And I agree with Ray. You need to go. Now.”

“Such unexpected fire,” Zemo smiled, making your skin crawl. “I didn't mean to upset or offend you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.”

Ray’s jaw clenched. “Walk away and don't look back at her,” he ordered.

Zemo glared at Ray, but walked away without another word, his jacket flowing in the light breeze.

You breathed properly again as Ray took a seat next to you. “Are you okay?” He shifted toward you when you nodded. “I’m so sorry he bothered you. He was supposed to be out of town.”

“Who is he? How did he know where to find me?” You narrowed your eyes at Ray and he didn't flinch under your gaze. Much scarier people stared him down. “And how did you know where to find me?”

“Zemo works with Bucky from time to time. He has his own club blocks away, Echo Scorpion. Lots of money and resources and far from being Bucky’s friend,” he explained, blinking twice again. “Boss wanted to make extra sure you were safe and he thought I was the best for the job.”

“What?” you asked over a whisper. Bucky and his fucking loopholes. “Have you been following me all day?”

“Yes,” he answered.

You slowly breathed in and out to remain calm about the fact that Bucky stayed away, but still had you followed. It didn’t calm you down. You were upset. So upset that you let out a shout of frustration loud enough that a few people looked your way, but no one stopped to check and make sure you were okay. Maybe they thought you were crazy. Maybe you were at this point.

Ray didn’t look at all surprised by your outburst. “Not to defend my boss, but he is keeping his promise by not contacting you himself if that is any consolation.”

“He still sent you, Ray. He can say all he wants that it’s for my safety and maybe it is, but it’s still a control freak move and he’s probably demanding that you give him every detail about my day,” you argued, shoving your book into your bag. “And today was going so well.”

“It still can.”

“You’re still going to follow me though.” With Zemo showing up, maybe it was for the best that Ray showed up. “That Zemo guy. Is he going to hurt me?”

“No,” Ray said with certainty. Zemo still wanted something though. Maybe he wanted to get under Bucky’s skin since he wasn't asked to meet you. “He knows that would start a war of sorts. Try not to worry about him. We’ll deal with him.”

“Start a war? You’ll deal with him? You speak so casually about violence because I assume it’s violence that’s intended,” you said as Ray looked in his lap. “He said Bucky is a murderer and he listed names. He killed those people, didn’t he?” you pressed, shuddering a bit when Ray didn’t deny it. God, he really was a killer. Why? For his own gain? “I need to sit down,” you said when your vision began to blur.

“You are sitting down,” he gently pointed out, scooting over and tenderly placing a hand on the back of your head. “Deep breaths. Put your head between your knees. It’ll help.”

You bent over, taking a few deep breaths like he instructed. “You said I can do this, but I don't know if I can, Ray. I’m not brave,” you said in a small voice.

Bucky didn't have anything to fear. He was a king who ruled his city and decided what to do with the peasants. You didn’t ask for him to entangle you in anything of his, the peasant that you were. You just wanted to survive at this point.

Ray surprised you by rubbing your back, your head starting to feel normal again. “Yes, you are. You just don't believe it because you’re not in your element,” he said, helping you sit up properly again after a minute. You did feel a bit better. “Try not to think about this and enjoy the rest of your day. You owe it to yourself to have some peace and relaxation.”

Glancing at your tote bag, you had to agree. You did owe it to yourself to have a bit of peace and relaxation. “Bucky asked me not to run or look for the bugs, but I can’t have complete peace today if I go back to my place for the night,” you said, glancing at the blonde beside you. “Is there anywhere I can stay where he won’t have direct eyes on me?”

Up until Zemo showed up, it was a normal day. A good day. You wanted that to continue.

Ray thought it over. “There’s a hotel not far from here, The Red Room. We can get you a suite for the night. I will warn you before you ask, the manager has worked with Bucky before.” He stopped you before you could get up and leave. “But she won’t breathe a word to him about anything you do. Her staff is very discreet.”

You weren’t sure whether to believe him or not. At the end of the day, he worked with Bucky and his loyalty remained with him. “Why The Red Room and not just another hotel?”

“Because it’s safe there,” he said.

You sighed and slowly got to your feet. It wasn’t getting away, but it was a small win and something told you to trust Ray. “Before we go, is Bucky doing okay today?” Part of you was curious.

Ray shook his head. “He’s in a mood and he misses you,” he replied. You pushed the guilt away. Bucky had to learn to handle time apart. “Shall we go? Are you okay to walk?”

“I’m fine. Just lead the way,” you answered.

Spending time in a hotel suite would relax you. It would give you time to read your book. And it wasn't like Bucky would show up and ambush you.

Right?

And Zemo has entered the picture. What will Bucky do when he finds out he made contact with his girl? Is Ray really looking out for you? Will anything happen at the hotel or will our girl get the rest she more than deserves? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[pastelbatfandoms]

The Red Widow- A Marvel AU

A/N: No smut this chapter, sorry! I'm not really in the mood to write her and Zemo but I'll make a one shot of it! My face claim is Chloe Bennet.

Part 4

Part 5- Three's a Crowd

After their night together, Lilianne and Helmut got back to his place. Once they step inside they are met by a very pissed off Bucky Barnes, he doesn't ask where they had been all night, he didn't have to. As he immediately pinned Zemo to the wall.

"You son of a bitch. How did you convince her? Did you drug her?" Bucky practically growled, his voice low and angry. When Zemo didn't reply, Bucky grabbed him by the throat. "I should kill you right now."

"Bucky stop!" Lili cries out, "It wasn't like that. He didn't force me, I want to." I looked at him, hoping he would believe me.

"I asked her-" Zemo started to add until Bucky gripped his throat tighter. "You coerced her." Bucky ground out, glaring at Zemo.

"No I...well their may have been a little coercion but I wasn't manipulating her." The Baron admitted.

"Bucky just let him go. Can we talk in private please?" Lili asked.

Bucky's expression never changed but he did as Lili asked, letting Zemo go.

"I knew as soon as we walked in here and saw the look on your face.." Zemo muttered softly, "Bucky don't you think it ironic that you are doing the same thing I used to? Controlling her and not trusting her judgement? Let me spell it out for you James, her and I had a wonderful night and it was entirely consensual."

Bucky shot him a look, shaking his head, "Not if you activated The Red Widow. Did he?" Bucky questioned looking at Lili.

Lili nodded, "Yes." She could tell by the way she had responded to him. "But I wasn't brainwashed this time, I knew what was happening."

Zemo nodded in agreement, adding. "Yes Lili knew what was going on. I never messed with her mind. This time she was fully aware of everything."

"So you're just going to let him control you again?" Bucky shook his head, looking away.

"Bucky it's not like that. He's different now." I looked over at Zemo as I said that.

Zemo nodded calmly as he looked Bucky straight in the eyes, "Look I'm not the same person I was back then James. You can trust me or not but you should at least trust that she can make her own decisions."

Bucky only stared right back, his eyes boring into Zemo's. Zemo didn't flinch only staring calmly back. Lili sighed knowing Bucky wouldn't believe Zemo not yet. I put a hand on his arm. "Can we just talk in private?" I ask Bucky. Away from Zemo as he might listen.

Bucky let out a breath but nodded begrudgingly, "Alright." Bucky stepped aside, he looked skeptical but he was willing to hear her out.

They walked into the living room, while Zemo poured himself a drink in the kitchen. "if he activated The Red Widow then you had no choice. Brainwashed or not, you know you can't resist him in that mindset." Bucky told her, crossing his arms.

"Yes but doesn't that say more about our connection then him activating me?" Lili questioned, looking up at him.

Bucky nodded, still upset. "I guess. I just don't want to see you get hurt again after what he did. What he made me do..." Bucky trailed off then sitting on the couch.

Lili sat beside him. "I know trust me. But I put that fear behind me, we talked. Maybe you should too?"

Bucky stayed quiet for a few minuetes before replying quietly, " maybe you're right..." He replied looking at her, "I should try to talk to him again. You obviously see something in him that I just don't see yet. I don't understand it but I'll trust you if you say he's changed."

Lili smiled a little at that, "I hope we're still ok though?" They had been through so much together, she didn't want this to be the end of them, but she would understand if he did.

Bucky gave her a small smile back, "Of course we're okay. I understand why you'd be worried but I'll make sure that never happens again. No one is ever going to try and change your mind again or control you no matter what."

I sighed, closing my eyes. He still didn't quite get it. "Bucky he didn't control me. I wanted to. True it may have been nostalgic at first but that's not the only reason..."

Bucky raised an eyebrow at that, "What do you mean exactly?"

"I..." How could she tell him she still had feelings for Zemo? Although she still loved Bucky. She could try and hide it, but that never worked around Bucky he knew her too well.

Bucky leaned back, studying her for a moment, true to form her boyfriend knew what she was thinking, "Do you still have feelings for him?" He asked.

"Yes." I admitted, not being able to look at him.

"Are you planning on being with again?" He asked serious, already knowing the answer.

"I don't know. It's too soon to tell."

"So you're keeping your options open then?" Bucky replied sarcastically, with a scoff.

"Bucky...don't do this." She looked at him, pleading with him to understand. That she needed Bucky as well, she didn't want to lose either of them.

Bucky heaved a sigh, trying to calm down. "Okay Lili I'm not trying to start a fight and I'm sure you realize how much I care for you, so I'm not trying to blow this out of proportion but I can't help but be upset and hurt by the fact that you still have feelings for him. I mean after what he did to you, I don't get how you could have anything but resentment towards him."

"It's hard to explain," Lili let out a breath, calming her anxiety. "When you and Sam went off to fight The Flag Smashers, yes Zemo and I fought but we also talked. After what I said he actually broke down and felt sad, guilty. I told him he would have to prove he changed, then we would see. last night wasn't expected, it was a moment of weakness on my part."

"And how did he prove himself?" Bucky frowned, curious. Trying to be calm.

I took a breath before answering, "I asked him to help me take down Hydra."

Bucky only looked mildly surprised at that, "So that's what he's doing, making amends by helping you take down Hydra? And that's why your falling for him again."

"I didn't start having feelings for him. I just stopped suppressing them underneath anger and resentment." I admitted.

Bucky's eyes narrowed as he looked at me, "Okay...You're making it sound like you never stopped loving him."

"I'm not sure. I can't even say if that was real love back then or not but I think so." Lili wanted to tell Bucky that she felt the same for him back then and now, except with him it had been real without manipulation, but she didn't know if he would believe her now.

"Are you sure what your feeling for him is real?" Bucky asked looking over at her, "That he didn't manipulate you into anything?"

"No he didn't. Not last night." Lili answered.

"So everything you did last night happened because you wanted it to?"

"Yes. I was even in control for awhile. If he didn't care he wouldn't have allowed that."

Bucky was silent for a moment not sure what to make of all that, finally he asked what he really wanted to know, "Just answer this truthfully then. Do you still love me? Not The Red Widow but you Lili."

"Of course I do Bucky." Lilianne answered, looking at him in earnest.

"And your just going to throw all that away because of Zemo?" Bucky questioned.

Lili shook her head, "I don't...that's not what I want. I haven't even told him my feelings yet. But I don't want to lose you." Lili put her head in her hands then, not knowing what to do.

"So you'd want to have both of us in your life?" Bucky asked frowning.

"I know that probably sounds selfish of me but yes I'd like to keep both of you in my life. After last night I can't imagine losing either of you." Lili looked up sadly then.

"Selfish may not be the word but you're definitely asking for a lot. Your expecting to keep me in your life and with me being okay with you possibly being with him? What about Zemo? You think he's okay with that?" Bucky asks, serious.

"I think Zemo already know what I'm thinking with that. He didn't seem bothered by it." I told Bucky.

Bucky looked a bit surprised by that, furrowing his brow as he looked at her. "Really? He actually seems fine with it? Now I feel like I'm the only having issues with it."

"I mean I know it won't be easy and we have a lot of healing to do but wouldn't be easier to do that together?" I asked him, trying to find a reasoning.

Bucky still seemed apprehensive, "I don't know how to answer that, you're basically saying you want to be with us both. Which honestly I'm not that comfortable with. But then again you don't seem like you care that you're risking losing me if you do this." Bucky scoffs, looking away.

"I do care, If I didn't I wouldn't be trying to find a solution!" My voice going louder in frustration.

Bucky heaved a sigh, "I'm not trying to pick a fight, but tell me what is your solution? How do you plan on making this work?"

"I don't...I think it's too soon to make this decision. I'm not even sure how I feel right now. I just..." Lili tried not shake or break down. Her fight flight was kicking in and right now she wanted to pick flight. She tried to calm down to remember her training.

Bucky noticed her reaction as he tried to calm her down. "Hey hey calm down. Look I know right now it seems confusing but you need to keep a level head. Don't run away or shut down that won't help either, trust me. Just take some time to process everything that's happened and when you've made up your mind then you can tell me."

Lili nodded trying to calm down. But she was scared.

Bucky grasped her hands in his, softly. Genuinely concerned for her, despite what she had told him he still loved her. "Just try and calm down. It's okay to be scared but nothing bad has happened yet. We can still figure this out."

"But if I lose both of you..." If she did she was truly lost, even with Shield, she'd be alone again. Lili tried not panic, her legs shaking. Only one other person could calm her down...

Bucky looked at her, worried as he tried to reassure her, "Look I don't think you should worry about losing us just yet. You should try and sort out your emotions talk to both of us before jumping to conclusions. I don't want to rush you. So just keep a level head for now and don't worry about losing us, I don't think that will happen. It's just this is new to me."

Lili nods not trusting herself to speak. Knowing that Bucky's words were sound but at this point, she couldn't hear them.

Not knowing what else to say Bucky stays holding her hand, trying his best to calm her by touch alone, at a loss. Until he hears a familiar voice behind them.

"Hey is everything okay?" Zemo asks stepping over to them.

Bucky looked up at him not thrilled he was here, "Yeah. Everything's ok." He answered, but Zemo could easily read that he was lying.

"Are you sure? Neither of you look like it is." Zemo surmises, looking over at Lili concern darkening his features.

"I mean weren't you listening in?" Bucky snapped giving him a look.

Zemo lets out a chuckle at that, "I heard most of it yes. That's not important though what's important is how she's doing."

"I was trying to get her to calm down and process everything before you showed up." Bucky replied glaring at him.

Zemo glanced at Lili, before regarding Bucky, "Well that doesn't seem like it's working."

"Obviously not." Bucky snapped, then relented with a sigh. "Can you..."

Zemo gave a short nod looking down at Lili, noticing how far away she looked. Right now the relationship drama didn't matter, calming her down and getting her emotions centered was. Zemo kneeled down in front of her as Bucky let go of her hands, leaning back.

"Lilianne look at me." Zemo tilted her chin to look him in the eyes. Then said the phrases he knew would activate her. "Prinzessin. Kätzchen. Himmel. Meine Dunkelheit." (Princess, Kitten, Sky, My Darkness)

Bucky realized what Zemo was trying and sat up starting to protest. "What do you think you're doing?!"

Zemo put a hand up. "I'm helping. She needs to calm down and come back to herself. This won't control her, not this time. Remember your training Lili." Then he snaps his fingers.

As if waking up from a trance, Lili's eyes blink open, feeling like herself again. "Good girl. You are ok." Zemo says rubbing her back reassuringly.

Zemo's methods catch Bucky by surprise, a feeling of relief washing over him that it worked but she was still herself. Though it made him feel a bit jealous and inferior if he was being honest with himself, Bucky had trying calming her and nothing worked, Zemo had swooped in and knew exactly what to do...

"Thank you Mas- Zemo." Lili answered, realizing what she was about to call him out of habit and stopped herself. She turned to Bucky a sad look on her face, "I'm sorry Bucky."

"It's okay Lili, really. I'm just glad your feeling better." Bucky gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile but the jealous feeling was still there. He didn't like how she looked at Zemo like there was something special between them. He tried to remain calm but what he wished she would look at him like that. But he stayed silent.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Bucky asked instead, gently caressing her cheek. Trying to ignore his own emotions.

Lili smiled warmly at his touch, "I am now."

Bucky smiled back, "Good, I'm glad you're okay." This is what he needed to see her looking at him like that and that she was alright.

Zemo stood up quietly, observing them. He could tell that Bucky had seemed put out earlier so he was glad that seemed to have dissipated for the moment. As he watched them, though Zemo knew they might still have a lot more to sort out, for now he didn't interfere. Lili almost calling him Master again did not go unnoticed however.

While Bucky continued to caress her cheek he spoke up again, a bit more serious, "But you said earlier that you were going to talk with Zemo about how you're feeling right? That still needs to happen."

"Yeah I will."

"Ok because you told me that you never stopped loving him, you were just suppressing your feelings. And you still love me..." Bucky trailed off before continuing, "Was it your intention to be with both of us?" He questioned her.

Zemo eyed him, looking between the two, noticing Lili had gotten quite again. "Bucky...don't push her." He warned his former adversary.

"Don't tell me what to do." Bucky shot Zemo a look, dropping his hand from Lili, his tone more hostile towards Zemo, "I'm not pushing her. I'm just asking a question. I have a right to know how she felt towards you or feels...We never went into this being polyamorous. I thought we were monogamous until this point."

It's alright Zemo." Lili tells him. Zemo sighs irritated crossing his arms but keeps quiet. "I understand where Bucky's coming from but I didn't expect this either I thought Zemo would stay in prison." Ironic that Bucky was the one who let him out. "I thought I would just be with you and hate Zemo forever."

"So now that he's not you feel like you have to be in a relationship with both of us?" Bucky frowned at, trying to understand and remain calm.

" I don't feel like I have to be. It's not like he's making me. I just realized how I really felt. How I feel about both of you." Lili admitted, letting out a breath.

"So you're in love with us both?" Bucky asked though he already knew the answer, his feelings a mixture of hurt, anger and jealousy.

"I think so." Lili didn't want to fully admit that because she didn't know how Zemo felt about her yet.

Lilianne looked over at Bucky then noticing him trying to keep his emotions in check, "I can tell it's not what you want though." She looked down, defeated. She knew it had been wishful thinking, she should have known they could never put aside their resentment towards one another even for her.

Bucky tried to think of what he'd say to not make things worse but he didn't have the right words to say. He wished that things were different but he just had to accept this reality, he couldn't change how you felt. Did his opinion even matter at this point anyway?

Lili spoke up then, "It's your choice too, both of yours. I think we should just take a bit before we make any decisions." Lili shook her head then, getting up. She needed air. "Gods it was easier back when I didn't feel anything."

Bucky stood up then as well, agreeing with her, "Yeah, we should take some time before deciding anything. This is a big deal, you need time to think about your feelings and I need time to process this whole thing."

"Zemo what about you?" I asked, looking at him, since he'd been quiet this whole time.

"What about me?" Zemo looked over at them from where he'd been leaning against the wall. " I know how I feel and I plan to follow those and what I think is best for me." he replied matter of factly, "As for the poly part of this, I gather that will be decided later on probably when you two aren't so emotional right now. My only concern is you two being okay"

Lili looks at Bucky, "See? Zemo's actually concerned about us, doesn't that say something?"

Bucky shook his head, frowning, "Yeah but he's only looking at this logically. How do you even plan to make this work? A normal relationship is hard enough without trying to share you but having all of us be together? I don't see how that's going to work."

"I'm not asking you two to be together like that...Bucky I wouldn't ask that of you." I look at him concerned, was that what he thought? I knew the history between the two, I wasn't that selfish.

"You're not?" Bucky looked at her mildly surprised yet relieved, "I might have overreacted then. I thought you were implying..."

Lili looked at him understanding dawning on her face then, "No. After your guys's history, I would never...I mean if you two could try and get along that would be nice but I'm not holding my breath."

"Well at least we're on the same page with that. It's one thing for us to both be in a relationship with you. It's another thing to have us actually like each other. I don't see that happening at all honestly." Bucky answered, scowling.

Lili nodded, she'd thought as much. "Yeah though it might help if you talked. It' helped me get it out."

Bucky hesitated before answering, "The thought of that hadn't really appealed to me before but I guess I could give it a chance." He agreed begrudgingly. Bucky always hated talking about his problems but maybe he would make an exception for her.

"Sorry I know you don't like therapy...It helped you and I in the beginning though. Not that I'm suggesting that." Lili said in a rush, making sure he knew she didn't mean actual therapy.

Bucky sighed, his hands on his hips. "I'm not entirely against working this out. But it's not going to be easy. I mean what am I supposed to say to him huh? "I hated you for years because you controlled me in Hydra, helped turn me into a sleeper agent, made me almost kill the girl you claimed to care for but now that I'm in a relationship with her and you still like her too that all seems pretty irrelevant. Want grab a beer?" Bucky finished sarcastically.

Lili gave him a look at that, "Hey he did the same thing to me. But why are we talking about him like he's not even here?" She asked.

Zemo didn't say anything but stifle a laugh.

"Good point." Bucky agreed as they looked at Zemo, "So should we talk about this now?"

The three of them were silent for a moment contemplating. Eventually Zemo broke the silence, "Maybe we should make this a group conversation," He suggested, "We each get a turn to talk about our thoughts and feelings. That way it won't just be one of us talking, we all get time."

Lili nodded in agreement, "That sounds good. Bucky?"

"Yeah...I suppose it wouldn't hurt." Bucky shrugged.

"Alright then," Zemo smiled, "Who wants to go first?"

Bucky and I look at him in surprise as we sit down, "Wait right now?" But better now then never."

Zemo gave a slight smirk, "Yep. So which one of us is first?"

"I want to hear from Bucky." Lili chimed in.

Bucky was silent for a moment before speaking, "Okay...I guess I'll start off by saying that this whole situation isn't something I thought would ever happen...I've always hated him and I thought you felt the same. I never thought you'd ever want to be with us both. How am I supposed to accept that and not be angry about it?"

"I understand. I would probably feel the same." Lili agreed.

"Yeah it's a lot to take in." Bucky admitted, "I can't lie that it does make me jealous. I just feel like this whole thing is going to mess with my head. I don't mean to sound so selfish but..." Bucky looked away upset. He didn't want to ruin anything and he didn't want to sound like a jerk for how he felt but at the same time he couldn't really pretend like it was something he was okay with.

Lili regarded Bucky, sadly. "I know. I'm sorry. I wish I could feel differently but I can't."

"Well it's not like I can force you to feel otherwise." Bucky said with a sigh. Though he was still a bit bitter about this. "It's just going to take time for me to accept this I guess."

Lili takes his hand then, grateful that he let her, "Bucky I still love you. I need you to know that."

Bucky smiled slightly as he took her hand, "I know you do." His blue eyes still held some sadness though.

Lili smiled in relief. trying not to cry.

Bucky smiled back, not saying anything for awhile as they held each other's hands. It felt good to be close to her again and to hear she still loved him. Bucky just hoped it would be enough to convince himself to accept this whole polyamory relationship in the long run.

After awhile, Zemo spoke up, "I suppose it's my turn now."

"Yeah it's your turn." Bucky nodded as he let go of Lili's hand.

"I would like to know your feelings about this too." Lili told Zemo.

Zemo leaned back, still appearing calm. "Alright then. To be honest, you still feeling this way towards me isn't a big surprise. I already suspected as much." Zemo smirked at Lili who slightly blushed, averting her gaze, "The bigger issues lies with both of us being with you. As much as I love you I don't know, I'm unsure about living in a polyamorous relationship."

Lili looked at him then, "What about just sharing me for now? Maybe not putting a label on it just yet."

"That sounds better for now. No labels until we figure this out more. Are you okay with that though? No commitments until everything is sorted out?"

That would be hard. Especially with Zemo. But Lili would try for them. She nodded in agreement.

Zemo seemed satisfied with that as he grinned at her, "Alright, I agree that the situation with him and I is going to be the hardest part but we'll just have to give it a try and see where it goes." Zemo appeared more at ease then he was.

Lilianne smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She was still unsure of Zemo's feelings towards her but she didn't think he'd talk about them in front of Bucky.

She was right, Zemo didn't like talking about his feelings in front of others not his real feelings or thoughts anyway. "Well that's all I have to say, Lili?"

"Bucky knows how I feel about him. I'm not ready to talk about my feelings for you." Lili told him, glancing at him but not meeting his gaze.

Zemo looked at her, frowning slightly trying to gauge why she was being so secretive now. But he realized that for now getting her talk was a lost cause, but eventually he would get her to open up. He looked over at Bucky then, "Well then a much as I'd love to stay here longer, I think we should all get some rest. We've had a long day and I'm sure everyone is tired of dealing with this emotional rollercoaster."

"Tell me about it..." Bucky grumbled, getting up.

"I think I'm going to sleep alone tonight." Lili stated.

"Yeah that's fine." Bucky shrugged, still a bit upset.

"I suppose that makes sense." Zemo agreed.

What they really wanted to do was hold Lili and never let go but now wasn't the time.

Lilianne decided to take Zemo's bedroom as he had taken the couch. She changed into black silk pajamas and tried to rest but her mind couldn't shut off after everything that had happened. So she decided she needed to talk to someone, someone who wasn't close to or hated either Bucky or Zemo. Someone who was like a brother to her. Lili decided to call Clint Barton.

To be continued...