#so we have 1/2 ttrpg classics

[apollos-boyfriend]

i wish we had full table views of everyone because i know for a FACT one of those fuckers is gonna start building a dice tower at some point and i want to be able to point and laugh when it crumbles

[improvapocalyps]

Stale blood caked Cleo's armor as she dragged herself through paradise. Gods below that sucked, she thought, that really sucked. They ignored the colorful birds that swooped overhead, disregarding the cloudless sky and brilliant sun that cast down gentle rays upon her green skin. What was the point of indulging in something that didn't exist?

Dust, Flesh, and Bones, by @pattonscribe

“Death!” she called, a hoarse quality to her voice, clutching tighter onto Etho’s body as their army of the dead went onwards to protect them. “You— this wasn't what I wanted!”

before we lose the sound of our own mouths calling mine, mine, mine., by @kanda-franca

In participation of MCYTblr AU Fest Summer 2024 hosted by @mcytblraufest!

I feel incredibly lucky and honored that two(2) writers decided to pick up my niche af AU pitch! They knocked it out of the park with their fics, please check them out !!

[Some behind-the-scenes ramble and close-ups under cut]

My AU's ao3 equivalent tag is "Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses", specifically drawing inspiration from Khelren's Godsend TTRPG setting (though you do not need any knowledge of the ttrpg to enjoy the fics):

In Godsend you roam the lands as the avatar of your god, cursing mere mortals and presenting gifts to the chosen ones. Your memories are numerous, made of the lives of your predecessors, your power is almost limitless. Will you use it to fulfil the will of your god? Or, as the end times draw near, will you try to save the world? 　(from the itch.io page)

I had my heart set on making Clethubs AU (to no surprise of anyone's i'm sure) so that's the main characters/ avatars settled- but who shall be the gods?

There are 6 domains in the Godsend setting: Death, Justice, Knowledge, Nature, Trickery, and War.

To me, it was obvious to put Bdouble "moss" O100 under the Nature domain, and Zombie "zombie" Cleo under Death. Then after some comtemplation Etho "free glass" sLab was slotted underneath Trickery.

What remains is to find the Hermist/ Traffic-lifers that are 1) connected to the domains 2) related to the avatars.

(fyi i drew all those feather strokes manually by hand with my lineart brush) (why? well,)

Grian came to mind immediately when I thought of "Trickery" (Though Cub, Scar, and a couple of other Hermits also fit). I wanted to build the god-avatar relationship on the Etho-Grian dynamic specifically.

Scar was chosen based on his S9 theme (wood elf) and his history with Bdubs (S7 mayor race). Baiscally the concept of King maker/ Second-in-command Bdubs was stuck in my brain. (Sorry Stress :[ )

Death was a trickier one. While it would be funny to have Grian-Scar-Mumbo to be (half of) the pantheon, Mumbo fit the Knowledge domain better. (ignoring his Peace, Love, and Plants deal for a sec; even then I think that's more Nature-aligned) so I went with the classic option of Zedeath.

Beyond this point (until "===") is me overanalysing/ blue-curtaining the black & white piece. You have been warned (/silly)

This piece's composition used a circle/three-parter as its base, witih the circle centred on the castle/city in the middle of the map. Etho was fully isolated in Grian/Trickery's third of the space, but Nature crossed over into Death's space easily the two domains are closely related imo. It was natural for things to end (death), and endings fueled the next cycle of nature life.

It seemed that all the gods are looking at the world/map, however since their pupils are obscured (non-existent in Scar's case) it was difficult to say for certain. Though you might be able to tell where their interest lie, if you look at the distance between the deities and the mortal realm and where their hands rest.

Death carefully rested his elbow on the line separating him and Nature, but his left hand was dangerously close to Bdubs. And it looked like it was ready to come down and press direcly onto the corner of the map, tilting or even flipping the chessboard over. In his right hand held the scythe, posed to swing. The edge of his scythe faced Cleo, pointing towards them like he could harvest their life whenever at his whim.

He also looked at the world from directly above (though you could say he was biased towards Cleo's point of view since he's not centered+ he was positioned behind them), meaning that he saw all lives as "equal", or have an especially detached but not uncaring view regarding the world (like a scientist looking microorganisms in his petri dish).

In contrast, Grian/Trickery leaned in close to the world, lowering his head so his eye level was almost at the ground level of the world. Like he was looking through the mortals' point of view, understanding the state of affairs through humans' moralities and values (through Etho, even, since Grian was positioned behind him).

His eyes were wide in anticipation. While he carefully kept his hands close, they were also touching the world directly; which was a thing no other god did in the piece. It was like he was waiting for the right moment to reach out and disrupt whatever that's happening on stage. As we all know, no matter how much Grian tries to restrain himself, he will press the button.

Scar is the most... detached/ distanced from the world as a whole? He reclined backwards, his visible hand resting on his knee. He might be looking at the world, or he might be looking at Grian, or was his attention on bdubs? Even with the signature :J smile on his face, he got this air of indifference. Maybe Nature believed that everything will run their fated courses without his influence.

The flowers on Scar's clothes were sunflowers (sides of his corset), roses (back of corset and forearm), and a very specific lilac brush I had to download. Flowers that were closely related to a certain series :3c

Shoutout to w4r (War for Rayuba) for the chessboard map idea. ily octs It's really funny that Bdubs, Cleo & Etho all start/ were currently standing on black tiles (<- did not count the tiles and only realised that after i started to fill in the black)

Let's talk (more) about body language and outfits and black-white ratio (I am Reaching here) (not that I wasn't in the previous part) (but I am Reaching even further)

Etho has a very clear cut B&W shading with minimal grey/cross-hatch areas. He is the least ink-blocked. He knows what his beliefs are and the lines that he will/won't cross.

He has a semi-relaxed stance, tilting back slightly. He has one hand on his hip but the other by his side remain open-palmed. He isn't not listening to new proposals, but he is considering (and judging) them carefully.

Bdubs' moss cloak and boots has a clear divide in b&w, but not his outfit (pants)/headband. Both the cloak and boots are nature-aligned: cloak is, well, made of moss; and boots to walk the earth, the only thing separating him and the dirt (though at the same time, supporting him).

Nature is clear in what it wants. While there may be bright parts mixed in shadows, and flecks of shade within the "light", Nature holds a firm stance based on layers and layers of understanding.

Bdubs is also reaching out with an open palm. He is open for dialogue, perhaps preaching/ prompting others to communicate as well.

Cleo is the darkest/ most shaded among the three. She has highlights on the edges of her armour, but overall her armour is mainly shades of grey. Unlike Etho/Bdubs whose outfits' base color is largely white/empty, the visible parts underneath her armour (gloves and pants) are solid dark. She is dressed for blood and combat. It also gives the impression that she has this fierce determination/ conviction (darker tones being more "serious").

Her posture- legs wide, slouched/ leaning forward- makes her look aggressive/ stressed. Her hands are balled up into fists, one of them holding onto the flag/banner (of Death). Even then, the way she holds the banner isn't one that says it's for morale. She holds it like a spear, like a weapon.

There's also something about fabric/ extra fabric on the characters.

Etho has the least fabric on him but he has this shawl wrapped around himself. And the shawl itself is very still/ motionless. Bdubs' outfit is very round and gives like a grounded/soft vibe while the ribbon around his head drags behind him. but Cleo has neither of those, the only fabric that waves in the air is her banner which is outside of her body/not connected to her.

=== === ===

The composition of my 2nd piece aimed to imitate the playbook's cover art (illustrated by Vash Taylor), with the slightly faded background and wispy banner. The path of the smoke meant to mimick Cleo's face stitches (as how I usually draw them), where it crawls up her right cheek, crosses her nose bridge and passes through her eye.

Shoutout to "google search: zombie hands" stock photos and silhouette images, they saved my life when I was struggling with the foreground.

If you read through all this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope everything will be going splendid for you in the month of August!! Even if you didn't and just swiped past after realising there's too many words behind the read more I wish you the same :D

Once again, please check the fics if you are interested in the AU!! Dust, Flesh, and Bones is a multi-chaptered long fic and before we lose the sound of our own mouths calling mine, mine, mine. is a 9k one-shot! They are both so dear to me I hold them close to me heart,,

[wittyno]

My thoughts on seasons one and two of the x-files.

Background: I knew nothing about the plot of the x-files before starting the show. I knew I would like it because I love Delta Green, which is just the x-files as a TTRPG and I knew Joel McHale loves it and proposed to his wife while watching it. I watched the first season about six or so months ago. I really liked it but life got busy and I wanted to give it the attention it deserves. I just watched season 2. yay

Here are some random thoughts

- that pilot is fire. It’s so fucking good. It hooks you in right away. It feels like a classic of the genre. The I lost time idea is done so well and not in a over the top way.

- this show is way more visceral than I thought it would be. Maybe because I’ve seen so much current cop-focused shows but this show grips you way better than any of the current copaganda on the market. It’s an actual drama not just pretending to be one.

- Season 1 is 24 episodes and season 2 is 25 episodes long. That’s an insane schedule. Not just by today‘s standard but just in general. I watched most of it on Freevee, which gives you little trivia about each episode, which is fun. It also means I know the horrifying fact that only two weeks after giving birth Gillian Anderson went back to work on this show. That’s probably just the tip of the iceberg.

- even for TV Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are very good looking. The choice to cast Boy Scout looking ass David Duchovny as the primary believer in the supernatural is so smart. Anyone else and he might come off as scary. The reason „am I spooky?“ is so funny is because the obvious answer is „no, not even a little“.

- because this show is so good. I can absolutely see how people who are already conspiracy-minded individual could take this show and really run with it. That’s not a criticism or a reason to not watch the show. It’s also not the fault of the creators nor a call to not make this type of art. I don’t even think this is a American History X type blunder. It’s just a warning. If you start believing in stuff like this to maybe take a break.

- the genetic memory episode is stupid. Also Phineas Gage lived a pretty normal life after his accident. He didn’t become violent. That’s not how the brain works.

- Scully gets kidnapped at least three times in season 2, which is too many. Even in a season with 25 episodes that’s too many. I know, the first one was because Gillian Anderson was pregnant but come on.

- while it is still copaganda and has some of those traits (choking suspects), it feels less like it because it pitches our FBI Heroes against impossible things and overwhelming forces (both human and extraterrestrial).

- it does a good job of balancing its insane runtime without overstaying its welcome. The middle of the season doesn’t sag or stagnate because they put mid-season finale.

- I like how often Mulder and Scully loose. Usually the military comes and covers it up or the evidence disappears and I like that. It gives the show a weight most cop show is don’t. Most cop shows, they either find, convict, or kill the suspect. It usually ends „well“, at least according to the rules of the show. Some of that happens here but more often than not. More innocent people get hurt. I like it because it shows the true overwhelming nature of what a job fighting the occult and extraterrestrial would look like.

- as for the political stuff. I think it’s important to remember that this show started airing in 1992 so you have to balance any sort of unsavory remarks or storylines against the age of the show. On the whole it actually does a pretty good job so far. As far as I can tell, at least.

- additionally you have to remember that in this world aliens are real and already among us. Spirits and other occult and extraterrestrials exist. The way you handle that is going to be different than we would in the real world. Especially with episodes like Calusari.

- the tech. So many examples on how old this show is. The big ones are the cars obviously, any sort of use or lack of use of the internet, and anything to do with phones. No texts, the prominent use of answering machines, hell I haven’t heard anyone talking about screening calls in over a decade. but the one I hadn’t thought of was flashlights. Flashlights have come a long way in the last 30-odd years.

- scully is a doctor of everything. Pathologist? Yes! Immunologist? Yes! She just keeps calling herself a medical doctor, which is technically true but is insane. Her knowledge base is just as wide as the writers need it to be and just as inaccurate to fit the plot. Honestly? Good for her! Woman in STEM.

- it’s also nice to see double breasted suits again. I feel like they are due for a come back. Though not some of those hairstyles. The only reason Dana looks good in hers is because she’s played by Gillian Anderson.

- that intro is doing the most. I love it so much. We don’t do intro like that anymore. It explains the entire premise of the show. With visuals and everything.

- yes, of course I ship them.

[sneeg-snag]

The hero’s journey and Shilo, an in depth analysis.

HI GUYSSS I was tasked with outlining how a character of my choice followed the twelve step process of the hero's journey. Due to the fact I am chronically obsessed with JRWI, I decided to pick Shilo as A) he is a very well rounded character who has very interesting dynamics and follows the journey quite closely and B) His story is “ended” (and I also remember most of it LMAO). 

Black is anything I turned in for my assignment and is a bit more barebones as it was supposed to be a minimum of 300 words and I wrote… 900… and red is all of my added and more in depth analysis of Shilo’s journey for those who have actually Watched The Show and understand what I mean when I say “The character of Edward Twilight is a formidable and powerful villain against the main characters''. also thank u @codecicle for egging me on i probably maybe wouldnt have gone as in depth if u hadnt asked for it <3. Lastly, THERE ARE SO MANY SUCKENING SPOILERS IN HERE I DO NOT HOLD BACK PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!

Without further adu… ENJOY!!!

For my character that follows the hero's journey, I picked Shilo Bathory from the ttrpg podcast Just Roll With It. Some context to the character and the story, he is a character in a game the players of Just Roll With It play called Vampire: the Masquerade (think Dungeons and Dragons but with a different ruleset and Vampire themed), where he is one of the three main characters. It is a comedy drama podcast, with some things being on the sillier side while still retaining a story. He is a vampire prince who was locked in his mothers castle from birth Rapunzel style, and we start the story when he is itching to get out. (Had to give some people a like. Overview cause you will a) always find me promoing jrwi and b) there is like. So much going on all at once in this damn podcast) 

1.Call to adventure: Shilo, sick of being trapped in his room, searches outside and finds several papers in his mothers study detailing how one person was being tracked and followed in the streets of Los Angeles. He decides he wants to escape said entrapment and searches for a way to escape. Shilo is an interesting figure when it comes to the call for adventure, because rather than being called by an outside force like many other stories (ex, Rapunzel is egged on by the appearance of Flynn Rider or Rolan Deep being called back by his parents funeral) Shilo makes his own call. He is the one who breaks into his mothers study and he is the one to decide to go. This is influenced by a lot of things- like how it is the start of a VTM campaign and Bizly cannot just sit and wait for forever, but it also opens the question of would Charlie have made one if Bizly did not already take action? 

2. Refusal: Shilo notably skips this step, mostly ready to jump into the adventure due to his nativity and belief he will be safe as he is the prince of his vampire clan. However this can be interpreted as his mother blocking him from leaving and even restricting him by magical means from even speaking about the documents he found. Referencing back to the last step, it's very interesting how the refusal manifests as someone else rather than Shilos own inner turmoil. It is like the characters that would normally play in these two steps -his mother and himself- switch, creating a more interesting story when it is himself who has chosen to leave and the juxtaposition later that causes when he enters LA. 

3. Supernatural aid: Shilo himself, as a vampire can be interpreted as his own supernatural aid, however notable at this point he is overtaken by a supernatural anger at being treated like a child. His player rolls very well for the stealthy and supernatural actions he takes to push past any obstacles facing him getting to Los Angeles. The seer at the door can also be interpreted as said supernatural aid, as she tells Shilo how to go through the door and is sort of the classic “old person helping the young protagonist” type. I think she will 100% be more important later and possibly assume this role in Shilo and possibly Emiezl's life due to her being there when the twins were born and being the overseer of Salem (Pepper) but in the current season we have now, she is simply a guard to the door. 

4. Stepping through the threshold: Shilo physically and mentally steps through the threshold in his story. He finds his way through The Darkened Door, a physical door that can take him wherever he wishes. The physical one comes to Los Angeles, which is a complete turnaround for Shilo from his quiet castle room. The lights are bright, the city is busy, and the people are mean. Shilo throughout the story remarks on this and how he is very much a fish out of water. I personally love his “LA sucks” phrase because to him, it really does and plays off comedically on how he was the one to want to visit LA and get out of his castle doors. Of all places to go, it was LA, the complete juxtaposition of the Umber castle. ESPECIALLY since he can’t even dress like a normal human and must dress like a gaudy victorian vampire. (a trait I REALLY wish was brought up more. Granted who knows maybe people think it's just someone doing a late night cosplay (clown walk /ref))

5. Belly of the whale: Shilos first belly of the whale conflict is when he realizes he is not 24/7 protected and regarded as infallible royalty in the city of LA when he tries to enter a club that seems to be a hideout for vampire society and proceedingly gets arrested. He is taken from his group and quickly placed in jail where he will later get bailed out after repeating how cops are heroes to him. This one was hard for me to choose what Shilos “first” trial was. Originally I was going to go with his altercation with Emeziels (his?) father, due to the fact he erases his memory without an afterthought and that emphasizes the whole lesson of “consequences” later on. However, I really do think Shilos first moment of being in deep- in the “belly of the whale” was the aforementioned club altercation and his subsequent jail time. He is no longer this kid who can bat his eyes at the primogens or his mom when he gets caught out of his room, and is now a functioning member of society that must abide by both vampire and human laws. It’s a moment of “oh”, although this is kind of overshadowed by the fact Shilo is like “yay police ride!! They're the good guys!” and later sets in when they are not on his side and when he speaks to Soda. 

6. Road of trials: This is where most of the events of the podcast take place. Shilo and his group have many trials, through the story, including but not limited to getting into a huge vampire party, finding information on the main villain he meets at said party, finding out his mother has died due to vampire hunters that are now hot on his trail, all while avoiding the consequences of his own actions. Okay this one's kinda self explanatory. I trust yall to get it and I really don't wanna go in depth because i'm LAZY. I really considered mentioning things like the unseen one but I wanted to make it seem like a much more cohesive plot to my classmates than what the suckening really is (cause looking back good lord is it all over the damn place bro)

7. Meeting with the goddess: The character(s) I would consider the traditional “goddess” in Shilo’s story is the group known as The Midnight Circle. They are a group of female witches that help Shlio and his companions on gaining knowledge on both how to deface and bring down the main villain of the story and their curse as vampires. They can only succeed however, by working through their own personal doubts and gripes with their curses and helping each other. Shilo succeeds with flying colors, and he gives up his eye (mechanically, in the game, his insight and perception bonuses) in favor of knowledge of the main villains and his own mothers origin. This one is also kinda self explanatory. Though I am kind of sad that the midnight circle is like. The only figures who could be considered the goddess in this story. You could technically argue that both The Midnight Circle AND the Unseen One could be the typical “goddess” figure, but I digress.

8. The temptress: The temptress character on the flipside is actually quite a stray from the regular idea of a sultry maiden in this story. Some might say it can even be skipped, but I'd like to interpret it as the main villain. Early on in the story, the main villain had Shilo “drink his blood” several times unknowingly, leading to a game mechanic called a “blood bond” where the drinker is entranced by the vampire whos blood they drank and on higher levels (eg. the more blood they drink) has to obey their beck and call. In some of the final episodes of the story he makes Shilo a victim to his wills, leading Shilo to accidentally give up all the proof they have to defame him to said villain. It’s quite a huge roadblock in the final parts of said story, and the players must find a way around it. You can tell I really wanted to get this point across and went all out explaining the blood bond LMAO. I really do feel like for Shilo, Edward is the temptress in a less-orthodox way of a woman who the protagonist might lust after, and instead is this force that physically calls Shilo and interrupts his plans. On Tumblr, people have pointed out how because Shilo is very aro/ aroace coded, this very well can be interpreted as a sexual assault metaphor. Unknowingly drinking Edwards blood, several times, the fact he was undressed and redressed in matching clothes as Edward, the way Grizzly describes the music (that we cannot hear, only the players) Condi put on as “romantic” only fulfills this. Hell, Nathan Hanover himself said Edwards original music was supposed to have a chorus of moans. Imagine that playing over the scene where Shilo wakes up? I could very much go on about Shilo being treated narratively “like a girl” and how that affects his story and progression but this thing is already so long and id want to find and quote the tumblr posts this idea spawned from because it's important to me people actually get credit <3. Overall though, Edward Twilight ABSOLUTELY fits the temptress role in Shilos story, especially in the scene where he calls on Shilo while Shilo has the evidence of his wrongdoings and all Shilo can do is just. Follow along. 

9. Atonement with the father: This is actually one of the few steps Shilo skips, as he does not really have a father figure and this step falls more on his companion through the story, Arthur, who’s entire arc revolves around his past family and father. <- I actually LIED here. Shilo DOES have an atonement with the father- and that is with Deacon! I didn't want to introduce this new character and have to explain who this new guy was to the story on step nine LMAO. However, Shilo doesn't have an “atonement” with Deacon, and in fact after Edward takes all the proof of him breaking the masquerade from Shilo, Deacon does not believe him. It’s a very sad moment, and really plays into Deacon and Shilo’s relationship and dynamic through the whole story. Shilo believed Deacon was a person to go to for safety and protection, someone who would believe him though and through, and instead Deacon is fallible. He attacks Shilos friends after Club Crepuscule is blown up, he does not answer any of Shilos messages after he calls a billion times, he brings him straight to Edward after Shilo is hurt, and he does not believe what Shilo says about Edward. He shows again and again how he really only does things for his own gain, and honestly, I think if Shilo wasn’t the prince he would have left him to die many times. A vampire cop is still a cop y'know. 

He also has a strange fucking voice/person?? In his room??? I feel like we don't talk about this enough hello????

10. Apotheosis: Teehee. Apotheosis. This stage happens when Shilo’s previous actions throughout the road of trials comes to bite him, and consequences are on the horizon. An old man Shilo has accidentally let into the world and knowledge of vampire society is kidnapped and left up to be food for the main villains “end all be all” game (a hunger games style arena). Shilo does his best to save this old man, but in the end fails, and realizes how his actions have consequences in a very heartbreaking moment. I do think Shilo actually has TWO apotheosis, but I thought for word count and explanation I’d only mention Ben. The second (and honestly my and probably many others) first thought was when Shilo loses his innocence trait when making Edward Twilight “ugly” in front of all vampire society. Both of these events play into different traits and lessons Shilo has been learning through the course of The Suckening. Ben represents the fact he does have consequences to his actions and what he does matters in the grand scheme of things, not only to him but to others. His loss of innocence is about how he is no longer a child who is protected by his mother in the castle, and instead is someone who has the power to do what he wants when he wants. These two apotheosis also play into each other. Without the realization of consequences Ben brings Shilo, he could easily fall into being a manipulative creature without much humanity or care for those around him just like Edward and the other vampires of vampire society. Without the loss of the innocence trait and bringing down Edward Twilight, he could shrink into himself and become an anxious defeated child, whose mother is dead and who is a slave to the whims of someone much more powerful than him. It creates a very interesting end to this chapter of Shilo's life, and with the promise of a second season, creates suspense for where this new version of him is going to go. 

11. Ultimate boon: Playing off the last step, Shilo realizes how he isnt a small child protected by the castle walls anymore, and does have consequences to the actions he takes, especially on those he cares about. I forgot what the ultimate boon thing was. Give me a second. OH okay for more context the ultimate boon is the accomplishment of the goal the protagonist set out to do. Shilo’s “main goals” move a lot through the story. At first, it’s escaping the castle to find who his mother is tracking. Then its getting used to LA. Then it's taking down Edward Twilight and finding a good replacement, which morphs into becoming a good leader himself. At the end of The Suckening, a couple of Shilos goals are not met yet, and Charlie and Bizly actually speak in the QNA how originally the Suckening was supposed to be on a much bigger scale than LA, so we can imagine in the next installment we will possibly see Shilo’s goals of a good ruler being met, or they will shift as he grows into himself outside the castle walls. 

12. The return: Shilo, after finally defacing the main villain, Shilo is picked up by one of their companions' helicopter, and flown away from the other companion, watching as said other companion is burnt to a crisp by the rising sun. This ones really simple, as Shilo does not “return” to his home. Instead he is picked up by Real Taylor Lautner, and the story ends. 

13. Crossing of return threshold: This is where Shilo’s story truly breaks from the hero's journey, as his story is cut short and left open ended. There is a whisper of season two in the works (although it seems very far away), and hopefully we will see Shilo return to his broken castle home, a changed person without his mother and new knowledge of the outside world. I really do hope we get to see him return, as it is a very interesting dynamic and as mentioned earlier, the trio was supposed to take on all of Vampire Society rather than just Edward, so I really do hope we are not cut off from Shilo’s heroes arc too early and maybe we simply restart back to the road of trials when we get season two. 

Shilo is a very interesting character, who one may argue isn't even a hero. He follows some of the steps of the hero's journey, but also subverts some of the traditional steps with his beginning and ending. He is a very complicated and interesting character, and this analysis is also here to show how the JRWI boys follow said hero's journey in one way or another. Not to sound like a cringey youtuber but if you have more thoughts/things to add PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME!!!! I would love to speak about this more (not just to myself lmao) and there are a lot of points I missed (LIKE SHILO RIPPING OUT THAT ONE GUYS THROAT BEING A TURNING POINT IM SO MAD I COULDNT FIT THAT IN). Overall, I love The Suckening, and I think how Shilo is handled and played as a character is very intriguing! And also I might need to get tested for autism. 

[bedtimegiraffe]

Blades LI Alignments

It struck me today that the TTRPG pages don't list alignments. Why? Because a lot of players and DMs/GMs see them as outdated and unnecessarily limiting?

...I'm gonna do it anyway.

Here's are the alignments, via the newest addition of Dungeons and Dragons (5e). Basically, how much you follow rules? And how much do you help people/how selfish are you?

Tyril- Lawful Good

Tyril is, to me, extremely Lawful Good most of the time. He's on a (according to him and society) righteous quest to stop evil with no room for nuance. Remember that time he decapitated a corrupted mayor in the middle of the street? He nudges a bit less lawful right at the end, but that's a big moment for him.

Nia- Neutral Good

Nia was raised in the strict rules of the Temple of Light, but she abandons those pretty quickly. She's not seeking out heists, but she kind of likes them. And Nia is undoubtably motivated to protect literally everyone. Textbook Neutral Good!

Mal- Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Good

Mal has never once cared what the law told him to do and he's not about to start! Our boy is Chaotic, as rouges tend to be. Mal starts pretty focused on his own survival and nothing else (Neutral), but pretty openly acknowledges that MC made him focus on helping others (Good). Stealing from the rich to finance an orphanage you run where you refer to all of the kids as 'yours' is the most Chaotic Good thing to ever happen.

Imtura- Chaotic Neutral

Imtura is a pirate. And she doesn't seem to have any regard for even Flotilla law. Classic Chaotic. And she does lots of good things, but she seems more motivated by protecting the people shares cares about, rather than any more abstract sense of Right. I call that Chaotic Neutral.

Valax- Lawful Neutral

Valax doesn't even have a TTRPG page, but she should! She does things that are both traditionally Evil (kidnapping, blood draining) and Good (owl bear protecting, not killing her friend). But Valax does almost all of them due to a code of conduct- initially set by the Ash Empress, but eventually set by Valax herself. To Valax, it's not about right or wrong. To me, that's Lawful Neutral.

Aerin- Book 1 Neutral Evil, Book 2 True Neutral?

Aerin is a case where the cracks in alignment kind of show. To me, he's best embodied by this gif:

I went by process of elimination for him. And didn't give much weight to what Aerin says when he's fully corrupted, because that's a whole different thing.

Lawful/Chaotic: Aerin knows how to play along with what's expected of him, but clearly doesn't have much loyalty to the letter of the law. And at no point is he spontaneous. So he's in the middle Neutral column in both books.

Good/Evil: Aerin thought he was doing the right thing in Book 1. And he seemed to genuinely like the party and want to look out for them. But I think we can agree that bringing everyone together with the intention of summoning the Dreadlord and kidnapping Nia are both Evil.

Book 2, Aerin helps save the world, but only if you're not a dick to him. To me, that puts him more in the Neutral category. I feel like a fully Good character would still by out there trying to save the world no matter what.

Any agreements or disagreements? I'd love to hear about them!

[monarchyellow87]

Wanna play Tabletop RPGs with your friends but you find the rules complicated? I have just the solution for you!

So, we all know that the entirety of Tumblr has only 3 brain cells in total, and ttrpgs can be confusing sometimes, so i made my own game with simpler rules!

How to roll: Roll 2d20 for attacks. First one is the accuracy roll, second one is the damage roll. You can decide what dice to roll for out of combat scenarios yourself

Stats: Everybody gets a total of 8 stat points. You can use this on a stat to increase it by 1. The maximum amount of points a stat can have is 5

Attack: Added to damage roll for attacks Magic: Added to roll for magic (attacks/utility) Defense: Decreased from enemy hit roll Speed: Added to accuracy roll, decreased from enemy accuracy roll Speed (for movement) in terms of meters: 0: roll d4 1: d6 2: d8 3: d10 4: d12 5: d20 6+: d100

Classes and abilities: When you make a character, you pick a class for them which is basically their profession. This helps with roleplay. Also, characters can have abilities bdue to their class. For example, you can give your knight character the ability to have more defense then usual since they wear heavy armor.

Moves/Spells: I prefer to have no restrictions for these, but negotiate with your party and give yourself you own limits. PS: this does not work if you have the classic problem player in the party

Also give your characters backstories!

Making the dungeon: Same with moves and spells, i prefer no restrictions since i think they limit creativity

[imsobadatnicknames2]

What are your favourite ttrpg mechanics that you’d like to see adopted by more systems?

Sorry for taking so long to answer!

Anyway, my answer is probably gonna be kinda boring because I very rarely play those artsy, high-concept rpgs with really out-there experimental mechanics.

I think some of my favorite mechanics are those that take elements of classic old-school roleplaying games but streamline and abstract them to juuust the right amount of crunch. For example, I've mentioned this before: I ADORE the initiative mechanic from games like Mausritter, Into the Odd, or The Black Hack: At the start of combat, every player makes a Dexterity check. Players that pass get to act before the group of enemies, while players that fail have to act after the group of enemies.

Similarly, I REALLY like the way The Black Hack handes inventory management through its usage dice system (which has inspired similar systems in later games): for stackable, consumable items such a arrows, rations, lantern oil, etc, instead of keeping count of the exact number, your represent the quantity of items with a die. Each time you spend the item, you roll the corresponding die, and if the result is 1-2, you downgrade the size of the die by one step (e.g. a d12 becomes a d10). When the usage die is 1d4 and you roll a 1-2, you run out of whatever item it was.

Both of these mechanics massively streamline initiative and inventory management and vastly reduce the bookkeeping involvd in those systems, but still keep the idea behind them crunchy enough that they still preserve an element of tactics. I tend to hack these mechanics into pretty much any old-school game that features initiative or inventory management, and I've yet to find a case where it wasn't a huge improvement.

Another mechanics that I love that I' think we don't see enough in games is 'd love to see used more often in games is risk-reward choices. One of my favorite examples is a magic weapon which I think appears in the second Mörk Borg Cult zine (Mörk Borg Cult: Heretic). When attacking with it, you can choose any number and apply it as a penalty to your attack roll, in exchange for getting to apply the same number as a bonus to your damage roll if you succeed. So the harder you choose to impair yourself with the attack roll, the bigger the potential damage you'll do if you manage to succeed. I think that's one of the best-designed magic items I've ever seen in a ttrpg and I wish more things in TTRPGs incorporated that kind of decision.

Lastly, another one that I love but I don't think it fulfills the "you’d like to see adopted by more systems" part of your ask: I absolutely ADORE the flashback mechanic from Blades in the Dark. Basically: at any point during a heist, you can spend stress to invoke a flashback to roleplay an action your character did in the past to prepare for the situation they're facing in the present (as long as it doesn't contradict or "undo" any of the things that have been established in the fiction so far). E.g. as you enter a party you get patted down and deprived of your weapons, you might choose to trigger a flashback to roleplay how earlier that afternoon you came by, gave one of your guns to one of the valets and, bribed him to hide it for you in one of the potted plants inside the ballroom. Just like any other action, depending on how hard or risky it is, it might automatically succeed, or it might require one or multiple rolls.

The reason I'm hesitant to say I'd like to see it adopted by more systems is because, as much as I consider it one of the most brilliant ttrpg mechanics of all time, it's also a mechanic firmly rooted in BitD's criminal theme and heist structure, and to me i'd feel pretty out of place incorporated into any system that doesn't mainly revolve around executing heists.

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 1st June

Leaked Series Podcast Audio Drama LEAKED is a captivating audio drama series that delves into the intertwined lives of Maame and Derrick, whose paths unexpectedly collide after a fateful phone call. Join them on a journey filled with suspense, intrigue, and unexpected twists as they navigate the consequences of their encounter.  As secrets are revealed and tensions rise, listeners will be on the edge of their seats, eager to uncover the truth behind Maame and Derrick's connection. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240520-01 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2365486.rss

Broken Lines Audio Drama Ongoing police radio drama written by a former police constable. A seasoned detective battles to keep his mind on the job after learning he may have cancer. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240428-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f57dcd00/podcast/rss

The Wizard's Library Audio Book The Book Wizard narrates his own stories. New episodes of "A Tear in the Veil," every Tuesday and new One Shots every Friday. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240402-06 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e7e6ec08/podcast/rss

Steady Rolling Men presents - CoC Masks of Nyarlathotep Actual Play Audio RPG TTRPG actual play podcast of the classic Call of Cthulhu adventure - Masks of Nyarlathotep. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240523-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/steadyrollingmen/feed.xml

The FUTURE COMEDY UNIT presents Audio Drama 10 episodes of audio comedy written by Simon Messingham, recorded and produced by Alistair Lock and the FUTURE COMEDY UNIT. From the classic TEEN PEOPLE, to the gothic heart of the New Forest in BLANDER THINGS, surreal deranged crime in THE EALING INHERITANCE, and the sheer, shameless rudeness of AUSTIN COUNTY, this series is all killa no filla. And at around 45 minutes an episode, we won’t take up too much of your oh-so valuable time. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240522-01 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2363895.rss

SPACE SPECKS Audio Drama A year has passed since the collapse of New Olympus, a space society created decades prior by the earth's governments looking to start a new life on an exoplanet. Doomed to fail from the start, New Olympus' citizens feared the end of the world once and witnessed the collapse of their safe haven a second time, left scattered in makeshift camps across the galactic wasteland, with no intent to return to the ruins of their former colony. However, one haphazard crew of survivors embarks on a brave—or foolish—journey to search for a still-missing friend amidst the wreckage. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-01 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/space-specks

The Cosmara Actual Play (The CAP) Audio RPG Follow our 4 plucky heroes as they find their way out in the stars, facing old and new threats, will they be able to stop the ancient war dividing 2 alien races? And will they be able to survive what awaits them deep in the dark? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240523-03 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/the-cosmara-actual-play

The Ichorous Rot Audio Drama When Theodore Yates became a doctor, he expected to fight cholera, smallpox, tuberculosis—not an unknown illness that seems to rot people from the inside, including their minds. He finds himself in a race against time to uncover the origin of the Rot and the dark secrets surrounding it, before it's too late for anyone. The Ichorous Rot is a mysterious historical fiction podcast exploring the long lasting effects of working class exploitation, the ways our families affect us and how those cycles can be broken. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/the-ichorous-rot

Heroics & Hijinks Audio RPG Half Blood Heroics & Hijinks is a City of Mist actual play podcast set in the PJO world. Our story centers around three demigods (2 Greek and 1 Roman), as they handle their very own prophecy and the challenges of growing up in a world of warring gods, terrifying monsters, and inconvenient prophecies. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240523-04 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2314795.rss

Podcast Jam Audio Drama Created by the online podcasting community Podcast Book Club, the Podcast Jam is an event in which participants collaborate to create the pilot episode of a new fiction podcast, with recording & editing taking place over one weekend. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-03 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/podcast-jam

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TARDA MORS Audio Drama Broadcasts from a radio station, in a world different then our own, run by Cypress Floe, named ‘Tarda Mors ’. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240524-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/httpsyoutubecku05g90jqesilbdcmzwewmevmgq0/feed.xml

The RPG Fiends Audio RPG Recording our actual play TTPRG sessions for friends! Game systems we play: Pathfinder 2e, Call of Cthulhu, Delta Green. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f6b81d74/podcast/rss

The Finder's Keeper Audio Drama A dark and mind bending audio fiction show created by Maddie Girouard and Landon Whisnant of Stygian Catalyst. It is said that all that is lost will be found. Some pray to saints, others call on the universe for help, and then there are those who seek out the Finder when something is lost. The Finder finds things. It’s what they do, but even they get lost sometimes. It is up to their Keeper to ensure they never stray too far, as their employer of sorts, The Watchers, are always keeping an eye an their activities. Watch. Find. Obey. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240524-03 RSS: https://feeds.transistor.fm/the-finders-keeper

Englewood After Dark Audio Drama College students Finn Nightingale and Eve Pemberly are on a mission to dig up the truth behind the murders on their campus, but the foundations of Englewood University are built on secrets for a reason. Will they uncover the roots, or be buried like the rest? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-05 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/englewoodafterdark/feed.xml

Beyond Repair Audio Drama In a not-so-distant future, the luxury cruise-liner "Hope" sets off on a voyage into the stars, run entirely by AI. Ascent Wellness promises its passengers the ultimate self-care experience. However, as the voyage progresses, cracks begin to form in the flawless facade of the ship's AI, Hope. Tensions escalate as the passengers must confront not only the external threat of the AI, but also the internal demons that led them to seek perfection in the first place. In a fight for survival, they must rediscover what it truly means to be human. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240507-05 RSS: https://feeds.redcircle.com/0848f1f2-e3e4-4d00-a3ae-14e639fb1531

Hello? Are you there? Audio Drama After the apocalypse, there’s not much entertainment left in the world. Though Aiden is happy to stop it. Join him in his radio tower whilst he tells stories to the survivors of America. Though it gets pretty lonely there..all alone… https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-06 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/Hell0areyouthere/feed.xml

SEMICOLON | سمیکالن Audio Book سمیکالن؛ به روایت میثم دهقانی حکایتی از انتقام، ترس، قتل، درد و زندگی یک مرد» یک پادکست سریالی درام جنایی که همین الان توی تهران داره اتفاق می‌افته شنیدن این پادکست برای افراد زیر ۱۸ سال مناسب نیست https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20191004-03 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/semicoloncast

オーディオドラマ「わたしが聴いたあなたの過去」 Audio Drama 「勇哉はあの日、本当に誘拐されていた・・！？」 狸穴ナミは、自分の誕生日を祝うために予約したレストランで恋人の高松勇哉を待っていた。 しかし、勇哉が一向に現れないため電話をかけると、電話口から”奇妙な音”と”知らない女性の声”が聞こえ電話は切れた。その日、現れなかった勇哉にナミは「なぜあの日来なかったのか？」と問い詰める。 すると、勇哉から「誘拐されていた」と予想外の返答があった・・・ナミが抱える過去の恋愛と誘拐事件が交差するミステリーオーディオドラマ。 https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240427-03 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/TFM8543614712

Memento Diem Audio Drama Alexia, une trentenaire dynamique, doit faire équipe avec son rival professionnel afin d’obtenir le poste de ses rêves. C'est une mauvaise nouvelle mais elle peut gérer. D'ailleurs, Alexia peut tout gérer. C'est ce qu'elle a toujours fait, à sa façon. Seulement aujourd'hui, sa soeur Laura l'appelle, et ce n'est pas pour savoir comment elle va... Tout ne va pas se passer comme l'avait prévu Alexia. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240525-07 RSS: https://feed.ausha.co/RD3g8IqJwdrW

EL SAPO DE ORO Audio Book Una novela que poco a poco va tomando la forma de un corrido , aquel que cuenta la historia del Sapo de Oro, en ella viven personajes que sus malas decisiones y experiencias los van a catapultar a un abismo donde los gallos de pelea van a ser su paz o su desgracia. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230629-09 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e4fff854/podcast/rss

The Captain's Corner Presents Audio RPG Recorded live for the Captain’s Corner: Delta Green - Impossible Landscapes. Starring Nina as FBI Special Agent Eliza Bishop. Bryan as U.S. Army Corporal Kane Smith. Jacob as U.S. Park Ranger Desmond Vickleston. Mark as The Handler. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240521-04 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/the-captains-corner-presents-delta-green-impossible-landscap

Anastasis: The Harrowing of Hades Audio Drama Audio Drama Anastasis: The Audio Drama is a retelling of Christ’s descent into the underworld from the perspective of Old Testament righteous. Put on your best pair of headphones and explore what happened to the Old Testament souls in hades, the emotional build-up to the fateful crucifixion and the consequences of Christ’s enigmatic descent into hell. Expanding on the Harrowing of Hades graphic novel by Creative Orthodox, and written uniquely for audio. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240522-02 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f675280c/podcast/rss

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Cae la bruma Audio RPG Doskvol es una ciudad sumida en una noche eterna, donde los fantasmas te queman la piel, los champiñones con anguilas son un manjar, la sangre de demonio alimenta las farolas y los vampiros pasean bajo las esquirlas fracturadas del sol. La única posiblidad de una vida mejor para un millón de personas es el crimen. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240524-04 RSS: https://media.rss.com/caelabruma/feed.xml

Short Stories Audio Book Short Stories By Calum Masterton https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240512-02 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e9508658/podcast/rss

Anticuentos Audio Book Cuentos cortos creados de forma original que te devolverán el asombro. Porque no todo esta inventado; lo que falta lo descubriras acá. Un entretenimiento que te dejará con ganas de otro más. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240508-04 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/anticuentos

Blood+Work Audio Drama Dr. Alyss Carroll is a doctor in Austin, Texas. Working in the emergency room late one night, she is accidentally bitten by what can only be described as a vampire! This leads her down a path to mysteries beyond anything she could have imagined. Alyss immediately turns to her best friend Jemma Corazón, artist, folklorist and professional chef. When Jemma learns her best friend may have been 'acquainted with the night' she resolves herself to help even if it means every scary story she heard turns out to be true. Together they will set out to unravel the mystery. After all, if vampires are real, what else is real? Are ghosts and mummies real? What about selkies, chupacabras? With luck they can uncover these mysteries and perhaps even discover a cure for vampirism that doesn't involve a stake to the heart. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240520-02 RSS: https://feeds.fireside.fm/blood-work/rss

Autumn Harvest: Maiden by Tof Eklund Audio Book Autumn Harvest: Maiden is a sensual and socially conscious tale of irrepressible longing in a court full of intrigue and inequality.  Yelena is a long-lived witch of the Order sent to the patriarchal kingdom of Thrycae, where witchcraft is punishable by death. Kaye is the young prince of that kingdom, and becomes attached to Yelena after she saves his life (but not the use of his legs) from a deadly childhood disease. As the years pass, Kaye grows into a handsome and thoughtful adult, and Yelena finds herself drawn to him despite the mortal peril inherent in such an affair. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240506-08 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2362018.rss

Tales of FUNCTION: The Engine Audio RPG A live play D&D podcast - Non-organic beings protect a nearby galaxy and prepare for an approaching catastrophe. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240523-05 RSS: https://feeds.podcastle.ai/16f5c364-e0e9-4fe6-8897-2010fd76c3cf.rss

Stories for the Seasons Audio Book Simple stories for slow living throughout the year. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240505-06 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2361342.rss

Todesangst Audio Drama Sophie sitzt bei Moritz im Auto und hat Todesangst. Wie kam es dazu? Pauls Mutter liegt im Koma, und plötzlich gibt es einen Opa. Eltern lügen, Freundinnen streiten und Welten zerbrechen. Kann die Liebe alles reparieren? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240523-06 RSS: https://www.mdr.de/kultur/podcast/todesangst/todesangst-100-podcast.xml

[togidemi]

hello i am going to use my tungle dot com for its intended purpose of microblogging in order to microblog. because if i don't keep my thoughts on my various language-inventing endeavors organized in a semi-public area, i'm gonna lose some crucial stuff in my discord inboxes, on god.

we are in my blog now. hi! i like languages. when the neurons diverge in just the right way i try to actually study linguistics - do not perceive my pending courseras and virtual linguistics campus certification - but more often than not they just... lead me to spit ideas and spiral into youtube and google scholar on random whims until i find something else to occupy me. this means that i've been lurking in various conlang circles since high school, but haven't ever actually completed one. (arguably i haven't ever actually started one lmao)

this changes soon! maybe

mostly because i have too many cool thoughts on too many cool projects and it would be a crime to not take an earnest step towards at least one of them... listed below!! for my sake and yours i'll try to organize them in ascending order of how much effort it'd take to complete the conlang(s), and provide 1) a "brief" premise for the world they'll be punted in, 2) a vague vibe for the language(s), and 3) rough deliverables. tanginang deliverables truly ni vivas en socio

Esperplantasy Regional Languages: Fucking with Established Conlangs

premise: i hate naming things so this is the shorthand i came up with for my ESPERanto PLANTpeople fantASY setting, borne from thinking a lil too hard about what actual ethnic esperanto groups would be like and coming up with... post-post-apocalyptic plant-augmented humans. who are also facing a shitty government and so the main narrative is about plucky rebels communicating via codes and ciphers. it'd be a comic (mostly) in esperanto, because i think a story about obscuring communication told through a language created to facilitate communication is hilarious. and also my little language tweaking playground because-

vibe: what if you push little esperanto quirks as a cultural thing? what if two distinct groups order their sentences and particles differently, when they're just hovering over the edge of mutual intelligibility to be different dialects?? (contrast, for example, one who prefers SVO sentence order and puts the particle last - "Lesbano ĉi, kiel lesbano ajn, ŝatas muzikon de Mitski" - to someone who does particle-first SOV, "Ĉi lesbano, kiel ajn lesbano, muzikon de Mitski ŝatas". tttechnically the point of the -n accusative marker is so free sentence order in esperanto is valid, afaik, so tinkering with that would be interesting) what if la esperantidoj were results of actual language evolution... what if other languages were in here too...?

what i need to work on:

two variants of classic esperanto that are split into being ever so slightly influenced by eastern european and east asian language thingz, yet still intelligible to the average verdulo. run those variants through the esperant' beam since Da Youths™ in the setting tend to converse in that esperantido, which i like for its more casual sound.

creating an esperanto-toki pona creole OR mixed language (i call it esperantoki at the moment) for the diasporic fantasy!SEAsian main character to speak. partly because i adore how taglish sounds to the uninitiated and want to evoke that feeling. this will very likely also involve incorporating solresol, either as a secret means of communication, a musical language in esperantokiland culture, or just straight up into the vocab.

learning ido because the land's capital speaks it, and are pushing for it to be the main language of the setting. also, learning volapük, for the order of nomadic clown nuns who speak it as a sacred language. dw about it.

Virbanwanun: Fucking with the Languages of an Established Setting

premise: i fucking adore gubat banwa, and i'm morally obligated to plug it every chance i get. it's a classical southeast asia-inspired high fantasy tactical combat ttrpg, and a lot of its conflict is centered around violence between the five major mandalas in the sword isles. as a born and bred manilenyo with severe catholic baggage, i am (reluctantly???) fond of the lakanate of virbanwa, the mandala inspired by imperialist metro manila with severe catholic baggage. lmao. the setting has a canonical writing script (kasuratan!) and a trading language called trade mataram - and believe me i have spent time vibrating about both - but emphasizes that there is plenty of language diversity in the isles. i'm curious what conlang families in the mandalas could feasibly look and sound like, and i'm starting with the one that's the most my lane.

vibe: virbanwanun and ba-enun are both based on tagalog. i want to work specifically with manila tagalog - what is officially called Filipino down here but trust me the more people outside the metro you talk to the more you realize it is well and truly just manila tagalog - and then, because they'd successfully driven out the issohappans (not!spanish vampire alien motherfuckers), skew just a little more spanish. now, we already have a spanish creole over here - chavacano! - and believe me when i say i've been replaying the chavacano version of maldita's porque since i realized i wanted to mostly just tweak the ratio of tagalog to cavitenyo chavacano for virbanwanun. something maybe 60-70% intelligible to the average manilenyo, while also having more (and simultaneously less) of a spanish influence, with some hokkien and mandarin thrown in. why not

what i need to work on:

ananaran virbanwanun. ananara is the bustling capital of virbanwa and i want it to be the most similar to manila tagalog, just pulling heavily from castillan spanish and hokkien

"improper" virbanwanun - the variant typically spoken outside of ananara. i really like the simple tense marking particles for verbs in chavacano - compared to the broke-ass aspect marking system for verbs in tagalog (super interesting to linguists! however a pain in the ass for me, a lifelong inglesero!! pay no attention to me i am simply a hater) - and am intrigued by the language name ("chavacano" was named as such because it was considered "vulgar/improper" spanish), so i thought it'd be funny if the imperialist mandala also squabbles with itself in the name of imposing one (1) Correct language to use. might throw some basque in so i can finally get conlanger cred in by using an isolate language.

virbanwanun beki. OKAY LOOK. i am tired of religious baggage consisting of internalized homophobia and transphobia............. except when it's funny. and i think it's fucking hilarious for virbanwa to be the one mandala with a dedicated queer language - much like swardspeak/bekimon here in the philippines, and polari in the uk - because it's the one mandala that actually has a problem with queer repression. i want to toy with playful onomatopoeia, feminine pronoun use (polari is notable for referring to damn near everything, even first person statements, with "she"), and the thing beki does where words are derived from puns on celebrity names and pop culture shit. since i do not want to invent virbanwan pop culture, however, i can instead go a more blasphemous direction by pulling vocabulary from-

liturgical virbanwanun. the makata, old-timey virbanwanun in which the usangaklat - the ashen star sacred text - is written, as well as the language in which masses are celebrated. want to make heavy use of sanskrit (virbanwa does fantasy polytheistic buddhist-catholicism, i just laser-eye on the catholicism because that's My Hole, The Hole That Was Made For Me) with a lil bit of mandarin

virbanwanun alphabet. i like the idea of virbanwa taking the issohappan alphabet before booting them out lmao. virbanwanon names in the book are hispanic names A Little To The Left, and in honor of my bebeboi oc niqulas, i'd like to think it does the.. cyrillic thing where its letters kind of look like latin letters but a different pronunciation. (hence why the Q-lookin character is used for k sounds.) plus with kasuratan being an abugida - and my plans to make ba-enun's primary writing script a logosyllabary - i'd like a bit of alphabet rep in the isles' scripts.

btw i do want to disclaim that despite my proximity to (and presence in???) the gb creative team, myyy conlang pursuits for its setting are fan projects and not canon at all, so. yee

Zodiac: Fucking with a Conlang from Scratch

premise: alright bear with me. what began as a rough story idea of an elite warrior force patterned after the celtic zodiac parenting a mysterious child warrior started innocently gaining little worldbuilding details until the scope creep ate me alive and i begrudgingly swallowed the fact that i am probably going to construct an entire language on top of my own conworld

vibe: although the celtic zodiac is not in fact real and thus i'm free to frolick in my own bullshit without fear of offending real people, looking at celtic shit did help anchor a creative direction for some worldbuilding choices. i'm trying to hammer the rest of the foundational worldbuilding out (apart from specific cultural tidbits the only big note in my brain is "IT'S NOT TROPICAL"), but i've decided the language will be heavily inspired by scottish gaelic and tamil - partly because they're both quite old languages and partly because phonology is the part of language construction that i dislike the most so i decided to take my first serious from-scratch conlang easily by taking from some of the languages whose sounds i like the most. (i like the sound of indic languages in general, but narrowing it down to the dravidian family and then further onto tamil makes my life easier.)

what i need to work on:

getting a basic grasp of starter vocabulary and the general grammars of gaelic and tamil. which means.... a looot of language instruction, given that unlike all of the abovementioned languages i don't have even a passing idea of what these languages are like apart from how they sound

building a protolanguage from the ground up, then maybe making variants as i build regions in the land. for story reasons, the land the story is set in is militant and smack dab between constantly warring places, so i will very likely also make at least partial languages for their neighboring territories.

from there i will derive a script, a sign language, and some kind of tactile language for the visually impaired. again for story reasons, this land is very accessible for disabled people, so i'll have to consider that not just in their language but in building design and such

Fleshmage Medical Terminology: Fucking with a Naming Conlang from Scratch (for Game Design Purposes)

premise: one of the ttrpg ideas on the development docket - which won't see sunlight for at least a year, believe me - involves, essentially, overenthusiastic doctors who can explode bodies with saint magic. part of the gameplay involves building your abilities, which u name the same way medical terminology is built; doesn't take a medical student to understand that if you see, say, myocardiectomy, it means my- (muscle) + -cardi- (heart) + -ectomy (removal). don't have ur heart muscles removed btw

vibe: so your character's abilities are named and categorized like medical terminology, but have you ever noticed how much latin and greek is in scientific and medical terminology? what if medical terminology was based on austronesian (...or malayo-polynesian, or philippine-type, idk i still have to decide the scope) language quirks instead? featuring things like reduplication (repeating syllables to alter meaning; e.g. in tagalog "araw [day]" -> "araw-araw [every day]") and verb-focused procedure names, as well as just a different general sound for medical terminology, is something i'm really excited to work on!

what i need to work on:

game design first and foremost lmao 😔😔😔 the hardest endeavor out of all of these, tangina

carefully constructing the vocabulary and naming conventions so they seem familiar to SEA folks but also easy to grasp and identify! wouldn't want players to memorize pages of jargon just to remember what the heck their characters do, y'know?

this also involves like... like maybe some physiology knowledge hbhbghbf like i dO NOT INTEND FOR PRE-MED LEVELS BUT. LIKE. MAYBE NEAT LIL MEDICAL REFERENCES WOULD BE REALLY FUN TO SNEAK INTO IT

ANYWAY yes these are all projects i want to work on with about an equal amount of interest and eagerness, which means i will likely work on them all simultaneously and make piddling process on them all as well. expect fruit by early next year if i feel like keeping up on a development diary of some sort, or not at all if i decide to pfft not talk about it.

[gigantic-spider]

Hiria: the Eternal City readthrough (part 2)

The ongoing readthrough of Hiria: the Eternal City, a solo TTRPG by Peter Eijk.

Part 1 here

We rejoin the game on "Build Your City." This is the absolute heart of the game (almost literally) where you roll 3d20 to generate your starting city (Color, Flavor, and Weird). 8000 unique versions of Hiria to explore, so let's see what six versions we can get from 1 roll.

Alright, 12, 13, and 14. That gives 6 city options

corrupted city...

...of winding passages and dusty storefronts where the buildings are alive

...of open squares and low buildings that is carved in a glacier

oppressed city...

...of parched plants and rolling blackouts where the buildings are alive

...of open squares and low buildings that is labyrinthine and narrow

decaying city...

...of parched plants and rolling blackouts that is carved in a glacier

...of winding passages and dusty storefronts that is labyrinthine and narrow

I have to say, this table is a real mixed bag. Some of the Weird options could definitely be weirder, but some are really cool. Some of the Weird options just reinforce what you get from Flavor, others take the city in a completely different direction that you would never get otherwise.

Where this table is effective, if perhaps not as evocative as I prefer, is that each of the three sections gives a pretty discrete idea of the city and you move from general to specific when you go left to right. Color is the general mood of the city and gets you thinking about how an "oppressed" city vs a "corrupted" city would be different. Flavor (too close to Color in term imo) gives you details as tentpoles, but not so specific that there isn't room for interpretation. "Parched plants and rolling blackouts" tells you a lot without locking you into anything. This city could be:

in the middle of a drought and dependent on hydroelectric power plants

suffering from climate change and a failing power grid

in a world where there are irregular eclipses leading to weird weather patterns

And these are just three examples that use the elements as central components! They could always be set dressing or background features.

Weird is the most specific, which is both good and bad. Take the "decaying city of parched plants and rolling blackouts that is carved in a glacier." Having the city be carved into a glacier changes things WILDLY, and that could throw some players for a loop. And sure, they could just reroll or pick a different option, but that goes against the spirit of the game for me. Not a huge problem by any means, just something that will happen with 8000 discrete combinations.

Finally, this table is unfortunately the worst implementation of the Classic Explorer template in the book. It's spread across two pages and leaves a lot of white space, which makes it kind of unimpactful and almost seem unimportant. Not what you want for the most important part of the game! I don't know how to fix this, except to maybe integrate some of the art around it (but that might distract from it! It's a hard problem to solve).

Overall takeaway: a good solid random table! Could be weirder, but it's more evocative and creativity-inducing than the Quarry or Background prompts tables.

[hglog]

SECRET JACKALOPE 2022

Secret Jackalope is an event in the OSR discord server where we each write a prompt, and then are randomly assigned each other's prompts to write a full blog post about.

My prompt came from discord user Dread Pirate Swagmaster#2135, who asked for 5 classic magical items, and twists/curses for each of them.

I was a little unsure about how to select my items, since if you're running an OSR game then most "classic" dnd items will already have compatible rules for them. Instead, I pulled magical items and artifacts from a variety of non-ttrpg sources.

These cursed items range from strict downgrades to perfectly usable items in their own right (that could hopefully still mess an unsuspecting adventurer up if they're expecting it to work like the original). I wrote 4 variants of each item, for a total of 25 magic items. I did my best to make them system neutral.

---

1. Ancient Elven Dagger

Same stats as a +1 dagger, or a +1 short sword if wielded by a small creature such as a halfling, goblin or gnome.

The dagger glows when near goblins. Starting with a barely perceptible light at about half a mile away, it can get as bright as a torch when within a few feet.

1d4 twists/curses:

The maximum brightness of the dagger is greatly increased, getting as bright as a torch 100 feet away and being so bright within 25 feet as to cause disadvantage on all rolls that rely on vision (including attack rolls).

Instead of glowing, the dagger causes nearby goblins to glow.

The dagger is actually an ancient Goblin sword, which glows to signify a worthy wielder. Goblins will want to steal it from its wielder, and the sword grants them advantage when rolling to do so. (Or gives the wielder disadvantage when trying to stop them.) Roll an additional magical sword effect (on whatever table you can find) which can only be accessed by goblins.

Casts a field of magical darkness instead of light.

---

2. Black Lotus

An incredibly rare flower that can be consumed when casting a spell to increase the result of every die rolled for it by 3 (even past the usual maximum face of the die).

1d4 twists/curses:

When consumed, it expends all spell slots/spells/MD/mana/whatever. Basically once consumed the caster can't use any more magic until they do whatever it is in your system that replenishes spent magic.

When consumed, it appears to have no effect. Instead, the bonus is applied to the first spell its user casts tomorrow.

Releases a cloud of pollen which sends anyone who inhales it into a death-like sleep for 2d12 hours.

Reduces the result of every die rolled by 3 instead.

---

3. Green Sash

The person wearing this sash is unable to be killed by direct violence - they can be reduced to zero hit points (or whatever the moment before death is in your system) but will not die. Limbs and heads can be reattached if necessary.

1d4 twists/curses:

Any physical harm or wounds caused by the wearer will be dealt back to them in exactly a year and one day. This can kill them even if they're still wearing the sash.

The wearer must agree when challenged to a contest or duel.

The wearer must keep the sash a secret, and loses its effects of anyone finds out about it.

Instead, the sash protects the wearer from death by any cause other than direct violence.

---

4. Blinker Stone

A gemstone that fits in the palm of a hand. Allows its owner to close their eyes and look at at the stone's immediate surroundings at any time, though inanimate objects appear hazy and colorless. The stone's owner can teleport it back to their hand at any time.

1d4 twists/curses:

The stone's owner can cast spells from the location of the stone, however they can't retrieve it as they could a normal Blinker Stone.

Instead of revealing its surroundings in the same plane, the stone is tied to another plane.

The stone is cracked. If its owner attempts to retrieve it, there's a 50% chance they teleport to its location instead.

Something is watching you through it.

---

5. Compliant Staff

This staff can expand to the size of a pillar, approximately one foot in diameter. Its height (maximum 50 feet) stays proportional to its width when out in the open but otherwise won't exceed the space available to it (so no punching through ceilings).

1d4 twists and curses:

Instead of growing, the staff shrinks down to the size of a needle.

Its weight hardly increases with it, leaving it extremely light and easy to be knocked over or broken in its larger state.

The staff's default state is its larger one, and it will grow to that size if left unattended.

The staff only grows in diameter, staying the same length.

---

The Ancient Elven Dagger is based on Sting from The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. The Black Lotus is based on the one from Magic: the Gathering, with curse #3 being the Black Lotus from Conan the Barbarian. The Green Sash is based on the sash/girdle Sir Gawain gets in the story of Gawain and the Green Knight. The Blinker Stone is from Gunnerkrigg Court. The Compliant Staff is based on the one Sun Wukong had (and the one Goku had in Dragon Ball).

I was a little worried about the Blinker Stone being too powerful - it’s basically like a 5e familiar (you can see through its eyes and cast spells from its location, two things ad&d familiars couldn’t do) with the downside of it being a rock. If you need a downside, I didn’t include this in its description, but in the source material the user creates sort of a projection of themselves when looking through it that can be seen or even “physically” attacked by ghosts and magical creatures and such. 

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for

Read Part 1 here!

Part 2 || Part 3

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

- - - - - - - - - - 

Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here

Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 

Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 

A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 

It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 

So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!

Link: Mastering Stasis

Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 

Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…

This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.

You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  

Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 

Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.

If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)

Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 

Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.

Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to

Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach

Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.

This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 

Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!

So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”

“Woah really?? Are you sure—”

“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”

“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  

I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.

Mipha: Stronger Sentiments

Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.

I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.

Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!

So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 

“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”

“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”

You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.

Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 

So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 

Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 

Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”

Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”

Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”

Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”

Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 

Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo

So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 

An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…

So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 

As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 

“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”

And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?

Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.

Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]

Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell

Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.

So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 

So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.

Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 

Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?

Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then

Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are

Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.

Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work

Daruk: That too

Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills

Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique

Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster

So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 

When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.

Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?

Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…

Urbosa: One-on-one combat

Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.

So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.

Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.

And so, as you beat her...

Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back

Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  

Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....

Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 

And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…

Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two

Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”

Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 

Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?

Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…

Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 

The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.

...

...yeah.

It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…

Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?

Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?

Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*

- - - 

Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D

Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?

Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D

Great Fairies: Oh honey…

- - - 

Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…

Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*

Great Fairies: …

Great Fairies: …………..hm…..

At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 

Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…

This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit

Hestu: Forest Dance Festival

Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 

Maz Koshia: Links to the Past

Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 

So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”

So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)

I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”

“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”

Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.

On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.

And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)

Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.

Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]

In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.

Ok I can explain.

So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 

So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 

So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.

Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…

Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.

Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?

Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*

Zelda: The Path She Laid For You

The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies

So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 

Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.

So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.

So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...

Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.

Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?

Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.

Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]

Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?

Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.

Zelda: …!

Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 

Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…

Astor: Then so be it. 

[dun dun dun]

Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!

Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 

Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—

Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]

Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess

And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”

“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”

Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*

= = = = = 

Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...

[thirteen-jades]

Get to know the blogger:

1. FIRST NAME: I guess I’ve not really kept this very secret, so might as well put it out there officially again. Jade.

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: What isn’t strange about me, honestly? If I had to pick, I get occasional taste, smell, and auditory hallucinations. The first two especially tend to be pretty pleasant, often things like cookies or other sweets.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Honestly I think the only people that I really register as being attractive are those I’m romantically interested in already? If I had to list some things, I think for women I’d say medium-sized breasts, red/brown/unusual hair colors, and… I’m not sure about a third thing, other than “not things I find unattractive”. As for men, mostly it’s non-physical things afaict, though height/strength may play into it some? Being princess carried is 10/10 super hot.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: I tend not to get bored of the things I eat, I don’t think? I have a pretty limited rotation of foods that I step through and it doesn’t bother me much. Orange chicken is nice.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: I don’t typically think of myself as hating foods or being a picky eater but in retrospect I don’t like: hot/spicy things (red pepper on pizza is about my limit, though I do often put it on mine), anything even remotely bitter, or things with a texture like raw seafood. That crab stuff in sushi seems to be fine but sashimi is super uncomfortable and I don’t like any non-fish seafood that I can think of.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: It’s hard to remember the last time I really felt guilty about much of anything; mostly I don’t do things that make me feel bad. I like chocolate with caramel, I guess? Don’t feel guilty about it though.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Lately it’s been sweatpants. Used to sleep naked and might go back sometime.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships are great. I’ve had pretty limited experience with them and seem to struggle to do romantic love in general but would very much like to have a loyal (if perhaps polyamorous; that doesn’t seem to bother me so much) partner that I love dearly. I might not mind having more than one partner myself but I’m not really gonna worry about #2 until I find #1 at this point.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Changing the past is spooky and dangerous. Do Not Want.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: I don’t think so. I can be affectionate towards certain friends, and would very much like to have a better chance to be more affectionate, but overall I tend to be fairly detached from others.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Rewatching/re-consuming things is painful and uninteresting for the most part. I used to reread books and stuff when I had limited access to things but nowadays I don’t see why I’d do it and hate watching movies I’ve seen before.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: I don’t really have the attention span to read books anymore unfortunately. Probably either a textbook of some kind or some TTRPG book. Or the thing I’m writing, if that can really be called a book. Which it probably can, actually?

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Fantasy animals included? That’s hard and would need some aggressive research to find which creature is best suited to transform me into a monstergirl. IRL animals only? Fox, cat, or snake probably. Am not really well-suited to caring for a pet now, so it’ll have to happen later in my life. But I’m in no rush anyway.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: This one’s hard. I am not very interested in or focused on romance in general. I daydream about my own OCs a lot, but don’t really do shipping so much.

15. PIE OR CAKE: I love me some French silk pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Wish I could smell well enough to have an answer for this one.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: I don’t care about or even know any celebrities to crush on, nor do I do crushes or romance in general afaict. So, none.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I’d have to visit my friends, I think. If I weren’t confined to earth or this reality my options would increase a lot; I’d love to visit any of my settings or the Moon or something if I were properly equipped to survive in them.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Wildly introverted. Spent most of the last summer talking to zero people face-to-face and was pretty much fine with that. It’s not uncommon for me to go whole days without face-to-face socializing and be unbothered by it. With my online friends, while I do interact more often I often need to pull away a little to recharge and can’t do constant contact with people. It’s also hard for me to initiate contact with anyone.

 20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: I don’t think so.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yep. Not super often nowadays, and it’s taken me like 2 months to get most of the way through Code Vein, but I do enjoy them. I play a bit of Star Wars Battlefront 2, Classic (2005) as well, and am actually a moderator for a Discord server for that game. It’s a good time.

23. DREAM JOB: Well, some kind of engineer, I’d hope. Seeing as that’s what I’m getting my PhD in. If I were restricted to things practical in this world I’d probably pick what I’m going to end up doing, which is working with semiconductors and the like. Or an astronaut. If we open this up to sci-fi or fantasy, there’s too many things I’d love to list.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Save it, mostly? Pay off student loans and make sure my friends are set for a good long time and save/invest the rest. I’d make sure to spend a little bit upgrading my computer and visiting my friends, as well.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: I sincerely can’t think of anyone or anything I hate, let alone a fictional character. Shinji Matou is an asshole I guess?

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: It’s kinda depressing how many things I loved until I got distracted and forgot all about them, but I often enjoy rediscovering and coming back to them. Homestuck would be the best example of one I used to really love and genuinely can’t get into nowadays though. I liked it, but I think the magic is largely gone for me. Moment’s passed and all.

[thesovereignsequel]

1-49

1. What do you think your d&d race would be?

Dwarf, probably. I’m short, chunky, and do have pervasive body hair. I actually have like two actual hairs growing out of my neck and some thick peachfuzz so I feel like my body wants a beard bad enough for me to be a dwarf.

2. What class?

I think maaaaybe a bard? I have a lot of anxiety concerning performing but I could be a stand up comedy bard. If not that, maybe a barbarian? I wanna go feral at all times.

3. What two feats would you have?

Inspiring Leader and Tavern Brawler. I am good at encouraging people and literally love the concept at going feral w/ whatever weapon possible.

4. What has been your favorite d&d character you’ve played? (NPCs count for DMs)

Ooooo! I guess my favorite PC I’ve played is Viper, my assassin tiefling. My favorite NPC I’ve played is probably Daniel Devito (original character do not steal)

5. Which of your d&d characters has been the most like you?

None of my characters are particularly like me, all of them have like, one trait I can relate to tops. Same with NPCs.

6. Which of your d&d characters has been the least like you?

For NPCs, the big bad of my last campaign (Duke Maloret) but for PCs probably Viper?

7. How do you go about making a character or NPC?

I go with a basic concept when making a player character and flesh it out from there once I have an idea what the setting is like. For an NPC, I already know what the setting is like so I create someone I think would fit and have a place and purpose in the setting. And when I make joke NPCs I just come up w/ something funny that somehow usually works with lore.

8. What is the most memorable natural 20 you’ve ever experienced?

In the CoS game I’m playing, our warlock got a fuckin nat 20 and one shot an NPC, who was definitely going to kill us, mortal combat style.

9. Has one of your d&d characters ever died? How?

In a oneshot playing w/ some ppl I don’t really care for, one of my characters died. They died bc a player threw a grenade to kill a big monster even though I said “yo, don’t!”

10. What is your favorite class to play?

Monk!!! The power, the range. Lovely.

11. Have you ever fought a dragon?

Yes? Kind of?

12. Have you ever fought a beholder?

I don’t think so.

13. Have you ever fought a mind flayer?

No

14. Have you ever had a romance with an NPC or another PC?

As a DM, I have. As a player I haven’t yet, but my necromancer/life cleric is in high demand so that’s gonna change ;0

15. Do you prefer to DM or play?

I like both. I’m better as a player though so playing is usually what I prefer bc I feel like I make a better experience playing. I love DMing so fuckin much tho :’0

16. What is your favorite D&D pod/vodcast?

I only listen/watch two “dnd” pod/vodcasts, those being Critical Role and The Adventure Zone. I prefer the Adventure Zone just a teensy bit.

17. Who is your favorite “celebrity dm?”

If the question had said GM and not DM I’d have an answer.

18. Do you use props/minis/terrain in your game?

Nope. We’re digital bby!!

19. How did you discover D&D?

I knew about dnd since forever, but only started desiring to play after listening to the Adventure Zone. And it took at least a year before I was ever actually able to play (think it probably took two)

20. If you run a homebrew game, give an out of context spoiler.

Being yeeted can be fun, fresh, and flirty.

21. Drop a picture of a mini you painted (if applicable)

Don’t have one :’0

22. Write a brief scene centered around one of your characters!

I’ll answer this in another ask.

23. Do you have any art of your characters?

I do!

24. Have you ever played any TTRPGs other than D&D?

I’ve played Monster of the Week and Tavern Tales.

25. What is your favorite snack for d&d?

Bc discord is over audio I usually don’t have the option of eating a snack.

26. If you could have one potion from d&d, which one would you choose?

Potion of Animal Friendship. I want the neighborhood cats to love me.

27. If you could cast one spell from d&d, which would you cast?

Fly. I just wanna soar bby.

28. What is the most memorable natural 1 you’ve experienced?

I remember every nat one that has a negative modifier and I love all of them.

29. Have you ever been drunk playing d&d?

I have never been drunk period.

30. Homebrew or prewritten?

I prefer DMing homebrew and have no preference for either when it comes to playing.

31. Tell me about your current party!

I’ll get into this one in a different post bc I have a few.

32. Most memorable NPC you’ve encountered in a game you played in.

Flinder Flameweaver. He sold fake ostrich boots claiming they were genuine ostrich and we saw through his lies.

33. Do you listen to music while playing? What kinds?

I play professor Layton music a lot during my games.

34. Favorite accent to do for characters?

Young British child.

35. Favorite classic d&d trope

Sexey demons.

36. What was your first d&d character you made?

A Dragonborn noblewoman who was secretly so buff but wore lots of frills.

37. What is the most recent PC or NPC you’ve created?

I can’t talk about NPCs, bc spoilers, but my latest player character I believe is a yuan ti wizard boi

38. Goblins or Kobolds?

Why not both?

39. Favorite villain you’ve defeated?

This asshole from our CoS campaignwho was very much the reactionary “pleased to see you upset” white dude.

40. What d&d deity would you be a cleric of?

None tbh

41. Give an out of context quote from one of your games!

I have a couple. “DM stands for Daddy Master”, “Griffindor Macklemore is my heterosona” and “Or what, you’ll stab me?”

42. Have you ever rolled turn into a potted plant on the wild magic table?

Unfortunately I’ve only cast a few spells as a wild magic sorcerer and everyone else I play w/ is a coward.

43. Minis and terrain or theater of the mind?

Theater of the mind.

44. Mulligan, Mercer, Murphy, or McElroy?

I like Mercer and McElroy

45. What is the longest session you’ve ever had?

god I think I’ve had one that was at least six hours before.

46. What is the longest battle you’ve fought or run?

The dreaded cockatrice fight.

47. Have you ever played at level 20?

Unfortunately no, not yet.

48. Does your dm say “How do you want to do this?”

Some do, some don’t.

49. Have you ever played an edition other than 5th?

No I have not.

[theonyxpath]

Thanks everyone who commented on our blog posts last week. Hearing from you was both informative and very helpful. As you might imagine, we spent a fair amount of time during this week’s Monday Meeting discussing the reactions we’ve encountered.

End of the day, we’ve tried from the beginning of Onyx Path‘s existence to bring in new and diverse creators onto our projects, and now that we’re starting to make that work, we’re not going to let them feel threatened here.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution art by Sam Denmark

While it might seem like a tonal shift to now start talking about the Lunars Kickstarter; all of last week and into the meeting today we looked to this KS as an awesome positive example of what we do in the midst of a lot of negativity.

Gotta have light shining in the dark, gotta have the good with the bad.

Part of why we’re grooving on the Kickstarter and all the great comments and posts about Lunars as we “leak” out parts of the manuscript, is that we’re hearing so many folks enjoying what they are reading. That’s great, and it is what we hoped for, as there’s always been a feeling on the creative level that the last two editions just didn’t do full justice to the Lunars.

As per the blog title: 3rd time’s the charm. (All the puns and allusions intended).

Here’s hoping everyone’s enthusiasm stays stoked once all the text is revealed by the end of the Kickstarter – we certainly think it’s all great!

Trinity Continuum: Aeon art by Gunship Revolution

Something else that I’m personally thrilled by is the Scarred Lands game being played by Devil’s Luck Gaming on their Twitch channel here:https://twitch.tv/videos/385880467

For me, I was very impressed by the costuming and design of the promo I saw, but started chortling when I saw the Slitherin ratman all made up and squeaking! See, I was the one who originally wrote their first descriptions in the first Creature Collection.

And no, I did not name them after the House. I had not even read those books when I gave them that name, but boy did I realize how it sounded after I did! I was going more for the feel of them slithering up out of the ground and from sewers, with dirty jagged daggers in hand.

So it’s an absolute thrill to see one of them being played, and played so well. Check it out if you can.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution art by Marco Gonzales

Finally, we talked about the Onyx Pathcast interview with Eric Zawadzki about his work on Deviant, and how he has stepped into Dave Brookshaw’s shoes as developer of the book.

You can hear Eric’s enthusiasm for Deviant, and how infectious that is during the interview, and we’re all extremely excited to be getting closer to presenting this new kind of supernatural for Chronicles of Darkness.

Eddy notes several times how the themes of Deviant are very basic, very grounded, and very evocative for our current time. Deviants are very accessible as characters, and very flexible in what could inspire them. There are just so many pop culture references that could be drawn from, as well as classical stories of quests for revenge and payback.

Take a listen, if you have the time, and I think you’ll agree just from listening to Eric, Dixie, and Eddie talk about the game. Link down below in the BLURBS! section.

Until next week, remember:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Two weeks into our Kickstarter for the Deluxe version of EX3‘s Lunars (that funded in less than 40 minutes) and we are over 300% funded and have over 1777 backers! Multiple Stretch Goals have already been achieved, and we’ve just gotten started. So c’mon and get your beast-form on and join the fun

The Story Told Podcast has a wonderful interview about Lunars: Fangs at the Gate: https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/bonus-episode-5-exalted-lunar-ks-interview-with-eric-minton

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Michael Gaydos

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast has our Terrifying Trio taking a break from TTRPGs to look at card and board games that they know and love. https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

If YOU have a podcast, YouTube or Twitch channel, or talk about games on a blog or other website, and want to perform actual plays or make reviews of our games, please reach out to the Gentleman Gamer on the Onyx Path forum. From there we’ll share emails and get you started, so when you do start producing content we’ll be able to promote it on our blog and YouTube channel!

The Story Told Podcast started on their character creation session for Wraith: The Oblivion, which you can find here: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/episode-21-wraith-character-creation

On our channel, we uploaded the first episode of Red Moon Roleplaying’s Changeling: The Lost actual play: https://youtu.be/vNlAmsFrMiQ

Not only that, but we continued the They Came from Beneath the Sea! actual play, also run by Red Moon Roleplaying: https://youtu.be/fY7sRVqiOl0

Ah yes!

Devil’s Luck Gaming have just commenced their Scarred Lands campaign on Twitch, named Pirates of Blood Water. It’s for mature audiences only and we hope you enjoy! https://twitch.tv/videos/385880467

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

Onyx Dice!  We’ve recently released the Changeling: The Lost, Trinity Continuum: Aeon dice, and now the Geist dice.  Next up on our radar is: Demon: The Fallen,  Mummy: The Resurrection,  Kindred of the East, Vampire Dark Ages, and Mummy: The Curse.

We have a serious issue on the Pixel and Motorola phones that prevent the user from using the app correctly.  A fix is coming shortly.  A temporary workaround is to minimize the app without shutting it down, and then restore it.

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

And available this week! Deluxe Changeling: The Dreaming and Deluxe Beckett’s Jyhad Diary! The additional books we have after the Kickstarter ship-outs are done are now at IPR!

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

This Wednesday, we’re offering our monthly Exalted 3rd PDF releases!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: May 31st – June 2nd Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year. n!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Redlines

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Editing:

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Post-Editing Development:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Indexing:

Ex3 Dragon Blooded (Exalted 3rd Edition)

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

The Realm – Gong’s and Yiyhoung’s stuff in… Gunship and Priscilla are working.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff  

Chicago By Night – AD’d.

Aeon Aexpansion – Emailing artists.

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars – KS going.

Signs of Sorcery

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Shunned By the Moon – All artists contracted again.

Book of Oblivion – Sketches coming in slowly but surely- some finals.

Contagion Chronicle – AD’d for KS.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Dystopia Rising: Evolution

Proofing

M20: Gods and Monsters – Satyr Phil inputting backer errata.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats

Adventures for Curious Cats

Trinity Core – Mind Meld.

Trinity Aeon – Mind Meld.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded – Indexing.

Geist 2e – 2nd Proof.

C20 Player’s Guide

False Images – EX3 novel – Finishing inputting backer errata.

In Media Res

At Press

Scion Hero – Getting printer proofs this week.

Scion Origin – Getting printer proofs this week.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Scion Screen – At Studio2.

Fetch Quest – At Studio2

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

Today in 1971, Sean Astin was born and then was raised by Gomez Addams. Later, he searched for pirate treasure with his goony friends, played football, and became a gardener for the Baggins family. After a long journey to return a particularly memorable piece of jewelry to the manufacturer’s facilities for a refund, he was elected Mayor of his town of residence. Let’s hear it for “our Sam”!

[bronanlynch]

highlights of the second part of our vampire oneshot which is gonna. have a third part bc I have no sense of How Long Things Will Take

everyone’s fancy masquerade ball outfits were So Good and I wanna try to draw them

special shout out to Jes, our very tiny fighter, with a giant sword almost as big as she is down the back of her dress like wonder woman

Seb, our ridiculous warlock disaster man, getting into arguments w both of his ~rivals which meant I had to do two (2) different petty passive-aggressive rich person voices

one of them is basically lestat (*nne r*ce pls don’t interact) and Seb kept making him spill his drink (is it wine? is it blood? we just don’t know) on his white clothes, including that time he flipped a table to create a distraction

the other runs the rival rich person book club and she got some good insults in, I liked playing her

I forgot to make anyone roll to get a guard to completely betray his employers bc I was so caught up in the good good rp everyone was doing.... Seb flirting his way out of a situation..... Jes completely failing to intimidate the smug rich boy villain despite having a Giant Sword

Jes got to the party and Immediately started chatting up the first lady guard she saw who turned out to be 1) very into Jes and 2) like at least a foot taller than her

Olo, our snake person cleric, broke into the bedroom of the lady of the house and when sie got caught pulled the classic “oh sorry I was just making out w my datefriend and got lost” move and then immediately panicked and charmed her which is gonna make. so many things go so much more smoothly than I expected tbh

all of my friends’ ocs are So Good..... So Ridiculously On Our Bullshit......... and not to be sappy on main but I’m so proud of all of us......... somehow all of our audio quality was good for the whole session...... everyone is so much more confident abt rp than when we started however many years ago that was............ love 2 play ttrpgs and have fun interactions w good friends............

listen gming can be kinda scary bc it’s like. what if they don’t like the stuff I’ve set up for them what if they don’t care abt my plot or my setting or my characters so it’s just. really cool to make a game that’s tailored specifically towards my friends’ interests and see them get so into it

esp since the plot was very much made up as I went along bc I needed reasons for them to interact w various parts of my incredibly tropey and aesthetic setting so I’m really happy abt how much fun this has been