#so we drove this random guy back home so he didnt have to run past the bear LOL

[bluejaybytes]

SURVIVED MY SCARY TASK !!!! IT WENT WELL !!!!!!!! ALSO I SAW A BEAR

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 17

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i know some of you were sort of waiting for that soooo here it is! PLEASE let me know what you think!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i added a few but some im not posting the screenshots of because i didnt add everything in the ask so it felt weird to add them. it was tough to add requests tho because I sort of had something planned. i hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Chapter 17 : His chapter

NIALL

I hadn't heard from Olivia in days but I was not really surprised. Apparently, her fiance (and trust me when I said I hated that word) had came back for a few days and she had without a doubt spent all her time with him. I was so mad when Harry told me about it that I actually initiated sex with my girlfriend, which was something I hadn't done in a very long time. I hated to think about Olivia with him. In fact, I hated to think about Olivia with anyone that was not me, and it was driving me a bit insane. Who would have thought my best friend would give me all these feelings? I wouldn't have guessed that back then, when we were kids.

I was the first one to sit at the restaurant as I waited for everyone to be there. It was sunday morning and we all had decided to have brunch together. I was not really in the mood but at least, it made me get out of the house, if only for a few hours. Even Heidi, whom I almost broke up with about 5 times in the past 2 days, couldn't handle being around me too much. I was still pissed at her and I knew she could feel it but somehow, I felt like she held me responsible for everything that had happened, like me being mad at her for what she did gave her the right to be mad at me.

Of course, I was not completely innocent in all of this and the fact that Olivia and I had kissed and more should make me feel guilty but it didn't. We were supposed to be together so why were we still apart and dating other people?

Louis and Eleanor were the first ones to join me, followed by Julie and Liam. We started talking about what we would do for Harry's birthday when I felt her presence behind me. It was a mix of the connection we had, and the way she smelled like, that always made me know when she was around and I started wondering if she could sense when I was near, too. It's only when she took a seat that something stirred in my stomach. Her boyfriend was there too and he was doing everything he could not to look at me. It made me frown and suddenly, I realized that she probably told him everything. It shouldn't surprise me, she was not the kind to keep things from people or even worse, lie, but I thought it was something that only belonged to us and it bothered me to know that she shared it with someone else, even if that someone else was the boyfriend she was cheating on. He was also still there, with her, making me think he had forgiven her, which was some crazy level of bullshit.

I tried to have fun and chat with everyone but I couldn't help but keep glancing at Olivia. She didn't seem at ease and I was not even sure why she had decided to come. She didn't enjoy that kind of confrontation and awkward moments normally and once again, I guessed that Dylan was probably the one who had convinced her to come.

I knew everyone was having fun but I was not and when everyone was done eating and were just chatting and laughing, I got up and said my goodbyes. They were short and I had a hard time to fake a smile but I still sent one last glance to my ex girlfriend before leaving.

I was searching for the right key on my chain when I noticed someone from the corner of my eyes and immediately hoped it was Olivia. When I turned my head, however, I noticed Dylan walking towards me and I was wondering if he was just going to throw his fist in my face. I didn't know what kind of guy he was, and although I felt like my ex girlfriend couldn't pick a violent guy, I also didn't know what a man who was cheated on could do.

"Hey man," he started, standing in front of me with a small frown before sighing. "Look, i'm not sure how to tell you that but, I know there's something between you and my girlfriend."

I stood there in silence, not really knowing what he expected from me. Was I supposed to agree? Apologize? Try to explain myself?

"I love her, you know."

I kept a straight face but my heart jumped in my chest. I loved her too. I was in love with her, but I couldn't tell him that, even if I was dying to.

"I know."

"Just," he passed his hand nervously in his hair. "I don't know how to ask you not to ruin this."

I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to let his words sink in and I started feeling bad. Not because I felt guilty for trying to get my ex girlfriend back, but because It was not the first time someone was asking me not to ruin something. I knew I could lie to him but I was not going to.

"I don't intend to ruin your relationship." I just pointed out in a low tone. "But is that really what you want? You want to marry a girl who's not completely yours?"

He sighed and glanced down before looking up in my eyes.

"If you were me, wouldn't you try anyway?"

This time, I had to admit that I was speechless and I just sighed too. Of course I would. If I was in his shoes, I would probably try to keep her, too, which is something I should have done over a year ago instead. If I had, we wouldn't be stuck in this mess.

I ended up just nodding and he did the same before turning around and leaving. I waited until he was back inside to get in my car and closed my eyes, breathing in and out deeply. I couldn't get myself to give up about Olivia, even if I knew she would be happy with Dylan, even if I knew it would hurt him and probably Heidi in the process, even if it would make an even bigger mess in our lives. I hit my wheel once and then a few more times a bit harder, hitting also the honk by accident. It was getting ridiculous and I knew that whatever was going to be decided needed to happen very soon.

I drove home and waited. I didn't want to be the first one to reach out, I thought that time, she was the one who had to call me and I waited.

It was a random thursday afternoon when I got her text message. The truth was, I was sitting in front of the tv but I was not really watching it. I had picked a netflix show that I was not really interested in just because I knew I was not able to focus on anything but when I put it on pause, I realized it would now probably suggest me a bunch of boring tv shows and I sighed, grabbing my phone. I could pretend I was not happy to get a message from her but i'd be lying. I could even try to say I tossed my phone away and kept on watching my stupid show but in reality, my heart had skipped a beat and I had re-read her words about ten times.

'Can we talk? I miss you.'

I blinked a few times, a bit surprised and annoyed by her words, and pressed my lips together in anger. Did she really just message me as if I hadn't stormed out of her place the last time we talked to each other? As if she hadn't asked me not to break up with my girlfriend after pointing out she was still getting married despite everything that had happened between us? As if she hadn't ignored me at the restaurant? I wanted to text her back to remind her that I was pissed and let her know she needed to stop toying with me. Instead, I decided to do it face to face.

'Where?'

I was expecting her to choose between her place of mine but instead, she asked me to meet her in a park and it made me frown. I got up and grabbed my keys and wallet, but kept my sweatpants and t-shirt. I had been quite lazy in the past few days and I didn't even give a fuck.

The drive seemed long but it was probably just because I was impatient and when I saw her, waiting for me on a bench, I stopped walking and inhaled deeply before sighing again. She looked good and I had missed her. The anger I felt so strongly for her now seemed more like annoyance or pain and I didn't feel like being rude to her anymore. I pushed my hands in my pockets, my eyes never leaving her, as hers were traveling around her. She could have been on her phone like most people would but instead, she was looking at kids running, people having picnics and most of all, at dogs walking by. I noticed her lips curling slightly every time one was near and it made me smile a bit, too. It's only when her eyes moved on me that I smiled more and I noticed that she did too. Why was it always so strong when we were near each other? I walked to her and sat a bit farther on the bench, making sure we wouldn't touch. She turned slightly to face me as I leaned against the back of the bench. placing my arm on it too, my hand very close to her shoulder now.

"I'm here now." I just said, my smile faltering a bit. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I'm sorry for what I did, Niall. I'm sorry for what I said, too." she let out, surprising me a bit. "Of course what happened between us matters. It's... it's all that matters, or almost."

She sighed and I stared at her as she looked down at her hands. She started playing with her fingers nervously and licked her lips but I remained silent.

"I asked to meet here so we wouldn't be tempted to just throw ourselves at each other instead to talk. Because that's all we do, you know? We flirt and we kiss and we touch but we have no idea what to do with our feelings."

I moved slightly closer to her and bent down a bit as my hand gripped the back of the bench tightly. It caught her attention and she looked up, her traits softening immediately when our eyes met.

"I love you and you love me." I whispered firmly, my eyes dropping to her lips before moving back to her eyes. "You love me more than you love him. We're meant to be."

Those were not even questions, they were facts, and somehow, I could feel that she thought the same thing. Her lips parted and I realized that I was in her vital space and despite how rational and private I was, that made me want to kiss her. Whenever we were at very short distance of each other, we were attracted to each other like magnets.

I pressed my lips together but it took me all my strength to move back a bit, making sure I wouldn't just kiss her right there, in the middle of a discussion.

"I know you want me to break things with Dylan, I'm just... Niall I'm not sure I trust you." she looked up and I saw she was tearing up. "You used to be the only person I really trusted and now? I don't know, Niall.."

"I know I've hurt you, I know I've broken your trust, but we deserve an other chance don't you think?"

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard but when she looked at me again, a tear fell from her right eye and she quickly wiped it.

"What exactly do you want, Niall?" she asked, sniffing.

"You! I want you!" I expressed a bit louder. "It's your heart I want Olivia!"

"Why? So you can break it again? Shatter it in pieces? Stomp on it?" she let out, her face twisting in pain. "Because I won't survive this an other time, Niall!"

"I would nev-"

"You'd never do that?" she cut me quickly. "Because I used to believe you'd never break my heart and then you did. So I'm just supposed to let go of the only guy who's ready to drop everything for me, for a guy who broke me before?"

"Who says i'm not ready to give up everything for you?"

We stayed in silence for a long time, just looking at each other as people laughed, talked and ran around us. We were the only static alive things in the park. Even the trees moved due to the small breeze and I focused on her parted lips and how she looked wordless because of my question.

"I need time." her voice was so low it was almost inaudible and I just nodded, feeling my heart twist in my chest. "I'm sorry again for the other day. I should have ran after you."

"I should have called you back then. I should have tried to get in contact with you. I should have told you that I missed you, that I still wanted you in my life. I should have told you my album was about you." I let out before taking a short pause. "I shouldn't have broken up with you."

Her head tilted and the left corner of her lips moved up a bit.

"And I should kiss you right now."

"But you won't." I just let out low.

"I won't."

I nodded and sighed, finally looking away.

"I'll give you all the time you need." I gave in, knowing I was going to have to be very patient. "But even if I understand your reluctance, I love you, and I hope you can trust me again."

I felt her fingertips brush on the top of my hand that was still gripping the back of the bench and held my breath at the feeling of her skin against mine.

"Me too."

                                                    ----

We decided to do the party at Louis and Olivia's and for some reason, I liked that idea. We had fooled Harry with the surprise by throwing colorful balloons at him and screaming 'Happy Birthday!" when he walked by the door and it was probably the cheesiest thing we ever did. Of course, Louis had proposed to play a prank on him where we would all ignore him all day but from what I had understood, Olivia had voted against it and apparently, she had a veto power or something.

"Who drank all the beer?" Louis asked in a loud voice after dinner. "I'm tired to drink your expensive wine, Livi, I want cheap beer and some nachos!"

"You are the most annoying person ever!" Olivia let out, rolling her eyes, before turning to Eleanor. "I don't know how you do it!"

El laughed as Louis glared at my ex girlfriend. "You're the one who lives with him!"

"Not for long again."

I frowned again and moved my chin in her direction. "Are you moving out?"

"No, Louis and I are going to move in together." Eleanor replied with a large smile as Olivia walked up to me.

She opened her lips to say something but Eleanor talked again and caught her attention.

"Did you drink? We could go buy beers maybe? Just so he shuts up!"

"Heyyy, I heard that!" Louis pointed out as El wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I can drive, no problem, I just had a glass of wine before dinner." Olivia shrugged, grabbing her hoodie and looking for her keys.

I wanted to propose to go with her but I knew it was a bad idea. Besides, Julie and Eleanor just grabbed their stuff and all the girls left, leaving me with Harry, Liam and a tipsy Louis. I don't know how the discussion turned from Harry being extra single at the moment to sexual encounters but I kept glancing by the window to see when they'd actually come back.

"I swear, that girl was crazy. She had me buy a whip and stuff." Harry rolled his eyes. "A real one too, like, it was insane."

"Don't even try, I bet you loved it. You're the kind of guy that makes us want to believe he's a dom but he's just really a sub." Louis laughed, raising his nose up with amusement. "The best kind of sex is just that first time you push yourself inside a girl that you've wanted for a long time. That my friend, is what bliss is all about."

"Or you know, a fucking good blowjob." Liam let out, making all of us laugh.

"I love when the girl lets me be a bit rough with her." Louis just added with a sly smile.

"Yea, Olivia loved a bit of a spank." Harry laughed, making me frown immediately.

I didn't like hearing about my ex girlfriend having sex with anyone, as hypocrite as it could sound. I also didn't want to be reminded that they fucked and dated, and most of all, it seemed extremely inappropriate to talk about one of our friends like that. Friend who could walk by the door at any moment.

"Oh yea, and a light choke, too."

This time, I frowned even more and turned to Louis who was laughing.

"And how exactly do you know that?" I asked a bit rudely, making him look at me.

"Relax, mate. She told me." he just explained with a shrug.

"So you never had sex with her?" I insisted just as meanly as the room fell silent. Everyone turned to Louis who remained motionless for a few seconds before clearing his throat and taking the cigarette he had placed behind his ear to light it up. I didn't really think they had but he knew so many things about her that it bothered me.

"Niall, come on."

His answer made my heart jump so high in my chest that I thought I was going to puke. If he hadn't had sex with her, he would have just said that, right?

"Did you fucking have sex with my girlfriend, Tomlinson?" I asked a bit louder, getting up quickly.

"EX girlfriend, Niall!" Louis frowned, getting up too, before pushing the smoke out of his lungs quickly. "You two were broken up."

I heard Harry curse but didn't send him a glance. All I could think about was Louis' hand wrapped around Olivia's neck as he fucked her and that made me feel even worse.

"You're a fucking hypocrite!" I almost yelled. "Telling how much of an asshole I was for sleeping around after breaking up with her while you were shagging her!"

"Oh I'M a hypocrite?" Louis frowned, tapping his chest a finger from the hand he was still holding his cigarette with before pointing at me. "Take a look at yourself! Being all mad that your ex girlfriend rode my cock while your dick dipped in so many vaginas you probably can't even remember half of them!"

I felt myself get so angry that I practically ran to him before being stopped by Liam, who acted like a shield between us. He placed his hands on my chest and tried to get my attention by moving his face in front of mine.

"Woa mate, no, don't."

I put my hands into two fists and squeezed them so hard I knew my knuckles had turned white and I felt them shaking. Why didn't anyone tell me that my ex girlfriend and one of my best friends had sex before?

"How many times?" I just asked in a low tone, waiting a few seconds to get an answer. Silence. "How many fucking times!?"

Louis didn't have time to answer. The door opened and the three girls walked in, laughing together. They all stopped when they saw us and Eleanor frowned, her eyes moving from me, to Louis and then Liam.

"Okay, what's wrong here."

My eyes found Olivia but she was looking at Louis with a questioning look. I turned to him as he shrugged a shoulder and his lips twisted in a small and guilty smile. Olivia sighed, rubbing her eyes, and that's when I realized there was one thing that bothered me more than them having sex. It was to realize that they were so close now that they could communicate without even talking.

I groaned slightly and stormed out of the room, trying to calm myself but I was pacing in the hall, pulling on my hair and letting out a few curse words under my breath.

"Nee."

I turned only to see Olivia stare at me with soft eyes but it didn't ease the anger inside me. I stopped walking and shut my eyes tight until I felt her hand take mine. My eyes fluttered open again as she stepped back slowly, bringing me to her room. I followed her, not really sure what she was doing, and she let go of my hand when we were inside.

"Please, close the door."

I sighed but finally did what she asked. We were standing together in the dark, very close to each other, but neither of us tried to touch the other or get closer.

"Can you turn the light on, please?"

Once again, I obeyed without a word and when her face appeared in front of me, I immediately imagined her naked on top of Louis. I looked away and closed my eyes, diving my hands in my pockets quickly and playing with the fabric inside of them, twisting it with my fingers.

"Louis told you, right? Is that why you're so mad?"

"Is that why i'm-" I repeated in a whisper. "Are you fucking serious?" I added louder.

"Niall, I was single, and he was single, and you were who knows where." she explained. Her words hurt me but her tone was soft. "I needed comfort, he needed comfort... You got comfort too, didn't you? With a few girls, I heard?"

"But not with any of your friends." I argued, shaking my head. "And I didn't have sex with as many girls as you seem to believe. Is that really what you think of me?"

Once again, the blame was turned towards me when in reality, i was the one who felt fucking betrayed by their behavior.

"Tell me, Olivia." I continued a bit roughly. "How many times did you let one of my best friends make you cum, uh? How many times did you allow him to fuck you so hard you'd forget about me?"

"That's the thing, Niall! I didn't forget about you! Not a fucking second!"

Her answer made my lips part and I stopped frowning. She took a step closer and once again, took my hand in hers, bringing it up to press her palm against mine before intertwining our fingers together.

"I love you, Niall." she whispered. "Having you so close to me all the time... it's making my body vibrate. I know it sounds stupid but it's true. I miss you. I miss everything we did."

My eyes roamed on her face and I licked my lips.

"You're trying to distract me from what I just learned, aren't you?" I asked low.

"No, I'm trying to tell you that it meant nothing. Not for him and not for me. He's the closest friend I have, and we shared that together in a few moments of desperation and intense sadness. I didn't make love with him, I only made love with you. In all my life."

"I only made love with you too." I admitted, squeezing her hand in mine as I watched her tear up.

"Really?" she asked in a whisper as I saw her break down.

"Yes of course, really." I repeated. "Did you doubt it?"

I watched her nod and sniff again. I couldn't wait for the day that the feelings I would bring inside her would only be good ones. I wanted to see her smile again, I wanted to make her happy. I had promised myself I would make her happiness my priority and once again, she was crying right in front of me.

"What can I do to make you smile, Olivia?"

She brought her free hand on my chest and let it slide gently over my shirt as she licked her lips.

"I know I said I needed time but, please, kiss me." she murmured, trying not to sob again. "Just kiss me."

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Three

Words: 4.5K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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I wake up to the smell of coffee drifting in under the bedroom door, and I stretch, seeing Nikki on his side of the bed, snoring softly.

Pulling the covers off of myself, I get up and throw on my robe to cover my naked body and step into the kitchen to see Karen at the counter.

Karen was Doc's best solution he could muster up to try to keep Nikki straight off drugs.

After calling Doc and Bob Timmons that night Nikki shot out our ceiling, Doc asked Karen, who worked at the Mötley office, to move in.

Hats off to her because she didn't argue, and Nikki did calm down a little when she was there because he was convinced she was a spy for Doc and was telling him what Nikki was doing at all times.

Nikki didnt want to hear shit from Doc, so he tried to hide his drug use from Karen when she was home.

"Good morning." She greets me, patiently waiting for the coffee to get done. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"No, no, it's fine, I needed to get up anyway, uh...what time is it?" I ask her, rubbing my eyes.

"About 9:00." She replies.

"Okay, I'm gonna wake him up and get ready and that reporter should be here around--"

I'm cut off by the doorbell and I look at her.

"You go wake him up, get him showered, I'll stall." She assures me, shooing me with her hand as she steps to open the door."

I rush to our bedroom and shut and lock the door, walking over to wake Nikki up.

"Babe, c'mon."  I nudge at him several times until he's groaning a little. "Nikki, wake up."

"Just climb on and get off when you're finished. I'm sure it'll still get up without me being awake." He mumbles tiredly, about to drift back off before I'm hitting his arm sternly.

"Nikki, you need to wake up. That reporter came early. We need to get dressed."

"Jesus." He lets out, frustrated, and I rub my lips together. His hazel eyes open to look at me and he smirks. "You're actually talking to me today?"

I've been ignoring him for nearly a week now ever since he broke our ceiling and embarrassed me in front of our friends.

"I'm getting into character so he doesn't write that I'm not talking to you in the article. Doc said to be as lovey as possible." I add. "So hurry up."

I walk to our bathroom and start the shower, quickly discarding my clothes and climbing in as he trudges into the bathroom.

By the time I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair, he's getting in, his eyes wandering up and down my naked body that currently has soapy water running down it.

"Don't get any ideas, Sixx, I'm still mad at you."

"What kind of man do you think I am?" He puts a hand over his heart as if he's hurt and I roll my eyes, finishing rinsing my hair.

"Move." I say so I can put conditioner in my hair and he grins, about to switch places with me, and his hands hold at my body as we trade spots and I glare at him.

"What? I was helping you move." He innocently states, the slightest hint of a smirk on his lips, and I cut my eyes at him.

He just wets his hair as I get the tangles out of mine with conditioner and we change once more.

By the time he's rinsing his hair again and I'm lathering up in body wash, I feel his finger trace down my spine.

"Nikki." I say in warning and I hear his faint chuckling.

"Sorry." He mumbles, taking his fingers off of me.

When I'm done, about to tell him I need to get under the water, his hands are sliding up my sides and he's getting closer to me, pulling me against him, taking my ear between his teeth in a nip.

"Nikki, we don't have time for this." I let out in a soft giggle.

"So?" He asks, pressing a kiss to my neck, his hands moving up to hold at my chest, rolling his thumbs over my nipples, causing me to take a sharp breath and push my ass against him.

He lets out a soft moan, and I turn to face him, our lips, teeth and tongues meeting in a rough, passionate, kiss, as my body is pulled against his.

"Are you still mad at me?" He says, running his thumb across my bottom lip, looking like he's confident that I'm not still upset with him.

"Get finished, we have stuff to do." I tell him, giving him one last kiss before sliding past him to rinse off.

"Change it to cold water before you leave." He grumbles and I smile to myself, changing the temperature of the water before getting out of the shower.

Once I get my hair towel dried and finish getting ready, I'm cautiously stepping into the hallway, walking where I hear Karen and the reporter talking at the dinner table. 

"Yeah, they..." Karen trails off, seeing me. "...Oh, here she is." She states.

He turns around to face me and I rub my lips together, extending my hand to him.

"Len Donoghue." He tells me, shaking my hand.

"Vivian Sixx." I reply, politely. "Um, Nikki's getting some clothes on now, he'll be here in a minute."

"Oh, starting Valentine's Day off right, huh?" He chuckles and I feel my face go red with embarrassment as Karen attempts to curve the conversation.

"You were saying earlier you attend night classes? What degree are you pursuing?" She asks him and I take the opportunity to step to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee.

Nikki's already there, seeming to be stalling as he takes his time examining the array of coffee cups in our cupboard.

"You don't drink coffee, baby." I remind him and he glances at me before handing me a cup.

"I was supposed to wake up this morning to a blow job. Not a fucking hotshot know-it-all scribe jotting down every last syllable of shit I say only to fabricate and cut it up before printing it in a way that makes me look bad." He mumbles and I give him a soft smile, my fingers running through the ends of his hair.

"It will be okay, Nikki. Just smile and it'll be over before you know it." I encourage him.

He sighs out, kissing me briefly before I pour my coffee and we step to the dinner table, where Len is lighting up at the site of Nikki.

"Hey, man, Nikki." Nikki introduces himself, shaking Len's hand.

"Len Donoghue, it's a pleasure." He smiles enthusiastically at him and Nikki nods before motioning to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna cook some breakfast if you wanna start your interrogation in the kitchen." Nikki says in a joking tone, but in know he means "interrogation" literally.

"Sure." Len nods, the three of us stepping to the kitchen as Karen gets up and heads to her bedroom to hangout until we're done.

I hoist myself onto the counter, watching as Nikki pulls the eggs from the fridge and I tense up as I multiple paper bags on the shelves before he closes the fridge.

I hope Len didn't notice.

"You've even got that particular detailing in here." Len comments, looking up at the mirrored ceiling.

"Yeah, I read somewhere mirror creates the illusion of a more open room." Nikki tells him, grabbing a bowl to crack the eggs into.

"That's why the place is covered in mirror?"

"Yeah, why else would it be?" He pretends to play dumb, and Len glances at me before shaking his head a little. "No reason."

"When did you move into this place?" He asks us and Nikki starts cracking the eggs.

"Uhh...like..." He looks at me. "...Over a year ago? Year and a half?"

I just nod and he confirms it.

"Yeah, over a year ago."

"Who's idea was it to live out here?" He asks next and Nikki nods towards me.

"She liked the house and I got it once we had the money." He explains.

"That makes me sound like a gold digger." I say.

"Okay, we drove by one day and she said it was a nice house and I went behind her back and got it and surprised her with it once I had the money." He corrects and Len smiles.

"Is he always nice like that?" He asks me.

"Despite how he seems publicly, he's a nice guy." I tell him and Nikki shushes me as if I can't tell his secret, making me chuckle as he grins, pouring the eggs into the heated pan.

"There's a lot of mystery around you two, is that something that's good to you or backfires sometimes?"

"It's good." Nikki states. "It's really nobody's business unless we do stuff like this," he motions to Len, "And let people in on it."

"We don't necessarily understand what the big deal is about, honestly. There's plenty of people dating or married to someone who isn't quite like them. The fact we're in the public eye doesn't make it any more interesting, honestly." I add.

"Yeah, people would be disappointed if they saw how our relationship works just like everyone else's." Nikki puts in next.

"I think you two being together really invokes certain conversations because one of you is a by the book Christian, and the other has been accused of Satanism in the past." Len suggests with a small chuckle. "So you're pretty opposite of each other in that sense but you still manage to get along well enough to feel the need to marry one another."

"We're opposite of each other in every sense, almost." Nikki tells him, finishing on the eggs.

"Really?"

"She's more reserved, conservative, quiet, innocent, sober, religious, organized..." Nikki names off a few things. "...and there's me."

"I wanna touch on that, really, because 'sober' is not something associated with rockstars or really this industry much at all, really, with so much money and access to excess and so on, have you really never had a drink of alcohol or was that an exaggeration? I mean, really, your friends, husband, piers are doing God knows what and you've never at least been curious enough to try something out?" He asks me and I shake my head.

"No. And that's not something I ride through the streets and shout out or project at a party or use to talk down on other people with. I choose not to do that because it doesn't interest me, it interests some people, some people enjoy it, but I've never really been drawn to any of it. And especially the really hard stuff, I've never felt the need or allure to that because I've seen what it does to people. But I don't turn my nose up at people who want a beer after work or have some cocktails with their girl friends on a night out. I don't even think I'm any better than the addicts that claw their eyes out while they're on dope. That's their business." I tell him, and Nikki clears his throat, putting the eggs into a bowl to be scooped out by who ever that wants them as he pulls the package of bacon from the fridge next.

"So you're the trusted D.D. when it's a night out?" Len asks me and I nod.

"Oh, yeah." I nod.

"Back to the 'opposites' topic, how did someone like you, get together with someone like her?" He questions Nikki again and Nikki let's out a breath, smirking.

"The clean version." I warn Nikki and he laughs.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv." He nudges me and I raise my brows. "Okay, fine, we met at a club on the strip, Tommy introduced us, and he had told me she was coming down there to see us and that she was a dancer and her mom was super strict, and just telling me and Mick some things about her because he and Vince had grown up with her, but we'd never met her. So she comes down there, and she's dressed like a fucking--I don't even know, nothing like what I was use to seeing on the Strip. And we just couldn't stand each other, honestly. We would aggravate the piss outta each other, I'd harrass her and purposely do and say stuff that I knew would gross her out and she would pick at me and deliberately say shit to get under my skin and piss me off. I called her 'Saint Viv' and 'Virgin Viv' and she'd call me 'Devil Spawn' and we just really got on each other's nerves, man."

"What changed that?" He asks and I wait to see how Nikki's going to say "I screwed her into my ratty mattress" in a PG way.

"There was this one night, I don't even know what happened, but I just realized I was really, really into her, and I guess she realized the same because we've been together ever since." He tells him.

"So, it's worth all the criticism about you not being the real deal because you've 'settled down'?"

"I'm not an idiot, I know people dont talk shit because I've 'settled down', they talk shit about who I've 'settled down' with. And if being with someone who's got my back, and strives to push me be the best in can be, and supports me and helps me up when I need it, then I will loud and proud shout from the hills that I've 'settled down.' I write music based off what inspires me, some of Mötley's best songs have been inspired by the very girl I'm criticized for being with because they either think she's boring or isn't bad enough for me or whatever bullshit they drum up. But I don't need someone who's bad through and through, that would be a disaster. She's bad wear it counts." He informs him and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Nikki!" I scold.

"I'm just saying." He shrugs. "And I'd hate being with someone who's exactly like me because then I wouldn't be learning new things, or having engaging conversation that challenges my views, or see a different perspective, and she wouldn't have that, either. So I think all the street rock posers downing on me for being with a 'goody goody' and the holier-than-thou Tipper Gore carbon copies that give Viv shit for being with a 'satan worshiper' can all kiss our asses and fuck off."

Len nods, looking impressed but not shocked with Nikki's words.

"Wanna add anything to that?" He asks me.

"Ditto." I reply and Nikki smiles at me for a moment.

After Nikki's finished cooking, we're sitting at the table, and get on the topic of music.

"Is there any idea when the new music will be coming out?" He asks Nikki and Nikki nods, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Sometime this year." He says.

"Is it gonna have a 'Theater of Pain' feel to it or is it gonna hold the same change that, that album did compared to 'Shout at the Devil'?"

"Well, we change our sound because we grow. I don't think it's too far off, I think it's all still rock 'n roll, but the sound differs a little bit with each album because we evolve." He replies.

"Any album in particular that you've made so far that's a favorite or is the best yet to come?"

Nikki gets a happy, proud grin on his face.

"The best is yet to come." He states. "Some really cool stuff is in the works."

"I'm glad to hear that because I actually am a fan of you guys' so that's a good word from you." He tells him.

"Great." Nikki says, his bare foot kicking at mine under the table.

I kick back as Len is oblivious and continues asking questions.

"Are you into their music, too, or are you just along for the ride because you kind of have to be?" He nods to me as Nikki and I are now in a kicking war, despite acting like nothing's happening.

"Yeah, I like their music."

He looks a little taken back by my answer.

"You listen to Mötley Crüe without obligation?"

"Well, yeah." I tell him.

"She looks like a frilly flower girl so you don't expect that, right?" Nikki asks, and I kick him under the table and he kicks me back, again.

"What else do you listen to?" Len asks me.

"A little bit of everything. If it's catchy or has a good groove to it, it doesn't matter the artist, I'll buy it. I listen to ABBA, Chaka Khan, Hank William's Jr, Deep Purple, BeeGees..."

"And everything in between?"

"And everything in between." I chuckle. "I also have Bon Jovi but Nikki's always trying to steal it and get rid of it."

"You don't like Bon Jovi?" Len asks, seemingly insulted and Nikki looks at me with cut eyes and a devious smirk, like he's gonna get even with me, later.

"I like Jon, I've hung out with him several times, he's a cool guy. Vocally, he nails it every time. Lyrically, musically, I can't fucking stand it. It's like being stuck on the tea cups at Disney. You wanna get off before you throw up."

"So, you don't mind ABBA, but Bon Jovi's a no-go?"

"...Basically..." He rubs his eye. "But, I mean, I might tolerate some of it if she put it on and started doing a little strip tease or something. I'd consider it, then."

I glare at him and Len laughs, as Nikki smiles innocently at me.

Once we're done eating, we offer a tour of the house, which Len eagerly accepts.

"Obviously, living room." Nikki motions.

"What happened to the ceiling?" He asks, noticing the empty ceiling space.

"Nikki thought it would be smart to throw a baseball in the house. The whole ceiling suffered." I lie and Len raises his brows.

"I bet that was fun to clean up."

"We wouldn't know, we paid someone to come out here and do it for us." Nikki mumbles. "Alright, awards and achievements." He says next, motioning to his freshly reframed gold and platinum disc awards, and my ballet trophies I've racked up from childhood to the beginning of senior year, that Nikki practically made me put on display when we moved in because he thinks it's something I should be proud of enough to showcase to people.

"Guest bedrooms, and bathroom down here." Nikki motions down the hall. "Garage, here." We walk down a couple of steps to the garage door and open it up, switching on the light.

His bike, his Corvette and mine, greet us and Len nods.

"Nothing too extravagant." He voices to us.

"I'm looking at a blacked out Mercedes right now, I might end up getting it soon." Nikki tells him.

"Oh, really?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I was gonna tell you about it later, babe." He assures me.

"Right, like you told me about the Jeep and the Harley?"

"Ha. Ha." He let's out sarcastically. "We have a pool." He quickly discards our disagreement, leading Len back up the steps and into the house to take him to the pool.

By the time the interview is at a closing, it's almost 1:00pm, and I hope he has enough material to make a decent article.

"Thanks for letting me come by, I really do appreciate it." Len thanks us, shaking my hand before shaking Nikki's hand one last time. "It was really an honor get to talk to you, man, good luck with the album. Can't wait to hear it."

"Thanks." Nikki replies.

"Alright, you two take care, have a good evening." He tells us, turning to walk to his car.

"You, too." Nikki says before shutting the door.

When it's shut, he's turning to look down at me.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I'm probably gonna go get some stuff from town." He states and I nod.

"Okay, I'm probably about to hangout by the pool with Karen for a few minutes." I tell him, heading to our bedroom to put my swimsuit on.

I hear the fridge open and shut--he's grabbing some of his heroin--before he's telling me he'll be back in a few minutes.

Once the garage door shuts, I'm stepping out to find Karen in her bedroom.

"Hey," I start and she looks up from where she's laying on her bed, reading. "I was gonna go lay out for a few minutes, do you wanna come?"

"Yeah, I'll be out there in a second. Let me get changed."

The phone starts ringing and I head to answer it, hoping it's not someone calling to tell me Nikki's been in an accident.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Steven's voice happily declares on the other end of the line.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I reply, stepping to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi from the fridge.

"I-Is Sixx around?"

"Not right now, he's running errands in town." I explain to him.

"Oh...well when he gets back can you get him to call me back?"

"Yeah. Is everything alright?"

"It's perfect. Love you. Gotta go." He abruptly hangs up and I furrow my brows a little, hanging the phone back up.

A few minutes into sunbathing, I'm laying on my stomach with my bikini string untied as Karen chats away while I drift in and out of sleep.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Karen tells me, getting up off her pool chair, heading into the house.

I give her a wave of my hand without opening my eyes, letting out a relaxed breath.

My body tenses for a moment at the feeling of Nikki's lips pressing the center of my spine, working their way up to my hair.

"Hi." I say, sitting up, tying my top back into place as he sits on my chair beside me. "Steven called and wanted you to call him back."

"He called again just when I got in so I already talked to him." He tells me and I nod. "I was out getting stuff for tonight." He wiggles his brows for a second and I try not to laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Some more wine for me, the fizzy grape juice for you, and some more candles."

"You don't like just screwing around with a candle on because you can't see everything." I point out and he smirks.

"I didn't buy them for light." He says and I raise my brows, a lusty feeling washing through me at the thought.

"Race you to the bedroom!" I shout, about to take off but he grabs at my hips and pulls me down to his lap, laughing at my eagerness. "Nikki, we don't have time to waste. I have carbonated grape juice to sip on and hot candle wax to be dripped in, and that's not even including the sleazy stuff that follows, so c'mon." I struggle to pull his arms from around my waist so I can get free.

"Viv, we'll get to that later tonight, you gotta get ready for your surprise." He tells me.

"I have a surprise?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"A surprise."

"Nikki."

"Viv."

"...Fine." I huff and he let's me out of his lap, handing me the roses he got me. "Where is this surprise?"

"Can't tell you. Just get changed, dress up a little bit if you want to." He tells me.

I guess he thought since he had died the year before, he should put his all into making up for it the following year.

I have to give it to him, he outdid himself that Valentine's Day...but he had some help.

"Okay, no peeking." Nikki says to me after securing the blindfold around my eyes and I grin, my hand in his as he helps me out of his Corvette.

I'm taken off guard by him suddenly picking me up, shutting the passenger side door with his foot.

"What are you doing?" I chuckle out.

"I don't want you to walk and hear your steps because it'll spoil the surprise."

"I feel you struggling to keep me up." I say to him, poking fun.

"I'm not struggling."

"Okay but if you drop me, I'm kicking your ass." I add.

"I'll kick your ass right back." He scoffs.

"Okay, then put me down and let's go, Sixx. Best two out of three."

"You're like a baby bird: all mouth." He taunts me.

"You're a baby bird: all whining."

"Virgin Vivian."

"Devil Spawn."

"Are you ready to see your surprise or are you gonna keep running your mouth?" He asks and I roll my eyes behind the blindfold and exhale.

"Fine."

He sets me down, and my heels click against the sound of wood.

"Alright, ready?"

"Yes."

The blindfold comes off, and Steven's firing off one of those tiny confetti poppers as he, Nikki and Duff all saying, "Tada!" at the same time.

We're standing inside of Mandy's old rehearsal space, except it's not shitty looking anymore.

The holes in the ceiling are patched up, it's got new lights, the floors are fresh and the once scratched up and worn down mirror is replaced, completely brand new.

I can't even form words, my eyes watering, my hand grasping Nikki's tightly.

"What do ya think?" Duff asks me.

"I-I..." I try to talk, but can't.

"Do you like it?" Nikki asks next and I'm turning to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, nearly knocking him off balance. "Woah." He laughs, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

I'm wiping my tears when I pull away, catching his lips with mine when he leans down to kiss me for a second.

Knowing Duff was the one who bought the place from Mandy to begin with, I hug him to me next.

"Thank you." I sniffle out to him, giving him a tight squeeze before pulling away.

"It wasn't a problem, Viv." He assures me as Steven clears his throat.

"I wiped the finger prints off the mirror." He tells me and I smile, hugging him, too.

"Thank you." I say, ruffling his fluffy blonde hair.

Duff's grasping my hand, turning it over so my palm is facing upward before he's putting a key in it, closing my fingers around it.

I give him a genuine, grateful, closed-lip smile, and he returns it, his kind eyes seeming to have a spark of extra liveliness from being in his element of doing good things to make people happy.

I swear I can see Nikki scowling at us from the corner of my eye, but the look is gone from his face as soon as it arrives.

[freshlyjuicedbeetles]

Under Her Wing - Drakgo fic

Shego is instructed by Dr. Director to teach Kim a thing or two. Set after Graduation but in 2019 verse. 

TAG LIST (based on who interacted with my tag list post. If you were added by mistake or not added at all, please let me know!)

@sweet-or-sarcastic // @anavrp // @sophiecooper18 // @random-emerald-thoughts // @benjimators // @marvelousavengfulslytherin // @littlevirago // @evielovesfood // @dianenguyenbjh // @brianaisontheinterwebs // @saultnpeppah // @poisonivy123

Shego sat bored with her legs kicked up on the lab table as she watched her husband meticulously extract DNA from the toe of a Spinosaurus. For what he was going to use it for, she wasn’t entirely sure. She was just there to make sure he didn’t blow himself up. She was just his bodyguard/sidekick/liaison/mostly unwilling secretary, not his science partner. This was a guy who looked up to Doc Brown rather than Hawking.

Her phone buzzed in the pouch strapped to her leg. Things were slow that day, so she decided to take a peek. It was an email from Facebook saying she had a message on her old public profile, one she had not used since she was a hero with her brothers. Her curiosity piqued, she opened Facebook and signed out of her current, private account. She tapped the side of her phone as she tried to remember her old password.  After a few tries, she got in.

Her inbox with inundated with old and recent messages. She paid no attention to past messages from fans who were upset that she turned evil, edgelords who were threatened by a strong woman, and recent messages that praised her from turning her life around. The first message was just too shocking. It was from Kimberly Ann Possible. It read:

“Umm, hi Shego. This is Kim Possible. I don’t know if you even check this profile anymore. Dr. Director wanted me to get in contact with you, but she didn’t really tell me how lol. She wanted me to ask if you could do some training with me?”

“NO!” Shego yelled, standing straight up, her phone creaking in her grasp.

Drakken flinched, “You made me break the helix!” He whined.

“Dr. Director wants me to train Kim Possible.”

“Eww,” Drakken grimaced.

“I’m not doing this. I’m not some babysitter.” Shego exclaimed as she stormed off for Dr. Director’s office.

“Go get her, babe,” Drakken said, his mind more focused on his work.

Shego breezed past the security and barged into Director’s office, stunning the guards with her plasma. The burly men crumpled to the floor in a twitching heap.

“Ah, Mrs. Lipsky, I was wondering when you’d force yourself in here again and maim Ethan and Reid.” Director replied calmly, only glancing up at the scene “Was it last week you came in here like a bull in a china shop because we switched your husband’s lab time or was it the time before that?”

“I am not working with Kim Possible.” Shego seethed, leaning over Director’s desk and staring straight at the other woman. Director did not look up from her paperwork. Shego slammed her hands down, causing a hairline crack to form between the women.

“Did I ask?” Dr. Director countered.

Shego scoffed. “You know, this isn’t working for me. I think I’m done here.” She said as she threw her ID badge on Director’s desk and turned to walk out.

“So, you’ll give up all the comfort we’ve given you and your husband? Your home, your records totally expunged, his lab and all the resources he could ever want or need? You two are a ‘package deal’ as I believe your very own agreement states? If you leave, so does he.”

Shego stopped in her tracks.

She wouldn’t take that away from Drew. Not when he was getting the recognition he always wanted.

She turned on her heel. “I’m only staying because I haven’t gotten to use the bazooka yet.” She said through gritted teeth, pointing menacingly at Director.

“She’ll be on your doorstep at 8:15 tomorrow morning.” Dr. Director said as she threw Shego her ID badge to her.

~*~

Kim Possible didn’t get nervous about many things. She took down villains before she could even vote without a trace of fear. Today, as she drove to the address Dr. Director gave her last night, Kim Possible was nervous.

Secretly, Kim idolized Shego when she was younger. She remembered seeing Shego and her brothers on TV and followed her dutifully on what little social media existed back then. When Shego left Team Go, Kim was heartbroken, and her stomach dropped the first time she saw Shego working with Drakken. When Team Go broke up, Kim decided to take up Shego’s mantle when the opportunity presented itself. Now that Drakken and Shego went good or more likely, neutral, maybe she and Shego could be friends in the future? Kim still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that she was going to be trained by Shego because it was Shego the hero Kim looked up to for many years and it was Shego her sworn enemy at one point.

Regardless of it all, Kim knew today would be interesting.

~*~

Meanwhile, Drakken took sleeping seriously. It’s where he got most of his ideas. When the doorbell rang at 8:00, he was not a happy camper. He groaned like a wounded animal, not even noticing Shego’s absence in bed. He haphazardly threw on a robe and stumbled down the stairs and opened the front door.

“I’ll take three Thin Mints, two Samoas and three Tagalongs,” Drakken said, yawning, handing what he thought was a fifty-dollar bill. It was really dog treats and lint.

“Um, no,” Kim said sheepishly, gently pushing his hand away. “It’s Kim…Possible? I’m here for Shego…”

Shego came down the stairs in her signature green and black catsuit.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Shego asked, eyeing the teen up and down.

“Yeah? We’re gonna work out, right?” Kim was dressed in a tee shirt, leggings and sneakers, her red hair pulled back from her face.

Shego sighed and shook her head, “Fine, it’s whatever. Next time, wear what you’d wear on a mission. If it’s gonna be in the way, we need to know. It has to be able to perform.” She chided.

Kim felt silly for making the mistake. Shego even used her ‘teacher tone’ on her from when she substituted for Kim’s teacher. “Okay. Will do.”

Shego physically moved her half-asleep husband out of the way. “Well? Let’s go. I don’t want this to be an all-day thing.”

“Oh, uh, can I drive?” Kim asked, beaming.

A beat passed of Shego just staring at Kim in disbelief.

Shego turned to Drakken, “I want to be cremated.”

“I want Thin Mints.” The mad scientist lamented as the women walked to the car parked at the curb.

Janice was gawking at Shego as though she never saw a female body before. Shego gave a sarcastic wave.

“Who’s that?” Kim asked as they put their seatbelts on.

“The worst neighbor in the world,” Shego replied, putting sunglasses on. She flashed Janice a killer smile as they pulled out of the neighborhood.

It had already been decided for them that they would train at GJ’s onsite gym. Shego started Kim on stretches and a five-minute run, correcting her form here and there alongside her. Shego knew it was likely that Director was watching but it didn’t bother her. She was doing what she was supposed to do.

The timer on Shego’s phone went off and they slowed to a walk. She went over to a wall of equipment and took a padded strike shield and held it up.

“Let me see you punch,” Shego instructed.

Kim squared herself and threw her best one.

“No! No! No!” Shego exclaimed like a director with a cast who forgot their lines. “Who taught you to fight, your grandma?”

Kim didn’t know whether to confirm that her grandmother had indeed taught her a thing or two.

“Harder, you’re not going to hurt me,” Shego instructed. Kim wasn’t sure if she was trying to comfort or insult her.

For a period of time, Shego refined Kim’s punches and kicks.

“Now, I want you to try to take me down and restrain me.”

Kim charged at Shego, tackling the older woman to the floor. Shego knew that she had to let Kim learn, but that didn’t mean she went down easily. She was able to shake Kim off and roll away. Shego stood, about to jump away, when Kim got her in a headlock.

“Tuck your thumb in you idiot!” Shego said grabbing Kim’s four other fingers by one hand and Kim’s thumb with the other. “Do you know how easily I could rip your thumb off?”

Shego shrugged Kim off. “Again.” She ordered.

Shego let Kim get her into a headlock, this time with proper placement. They wrestled and tackled each other until Kim grabbed Shego’s hair, thinking she’d instantly surrender. Instead, Shego pushed back into Kim’s grasp, rather than wrench away.  Kim stumbled allowing Shego to escape.

“I will give you props for going for my hair.” Shego said, “I should probably start putting it in a bun. If anyone tries it with you, do what I did and push into it. You’ll knock your opponent off balance usually or lose hair if you try to pull away.”

“Right,” Kim nodded.

Kim was about to ask Shego if she wanted some water, “Hey Stepha-“

Shego immediately tackled Kim to the ground. “Do not call me that. I’m still Shego to you.”

“Okay, fine,” Kim replied, pushing Shego away.

Kim grabbed them each a bottle of water. The two sat in awkward silence on the mat.

“Who taught you all this stuff? Did you just learn on the go?” Kim asked.

“I’ve had a trainer since I was 16,” Shego answered, taking a drink.

That made sense, Kim thought. Around that time was when Team Go debuted. They must have had some training before their first mission.

Shego stood and went to get the First Aid pack and CPR dummy from the equipment wall.

“Are you going to teach me CPR?” Kim asked excitedly.

“You don’t know First Aid and CPR?” Shego asked skeptically.

“No…” Kim said, her face red with embarrassment.

“Oh my god, you’re more behind than I even thought. Do you just leave after you blow up someone’s lair? What about the populace surrounding it? What happens if you have to do search and rescue after a natural disaster? You’re a hero. You should know this stuff. It’s not all stopping heists and whatnot.”

“I’ve never done anything like that…”

“I have!”

Kim was beginning to get a greater understanding of Shego. What kind of things has she seen? Kim wasn’t going to pry and knew Shego wouldn’t tell her anything if she tried. Kim remembered that Team Go doubled as first responders at times. Kim had a vivid memory of seeing Shego being airlifted over the wreckage of a collapsed building to look for survivors on the news, her green and black feet dangling over the rubble. Shego couldn’t have been older than 17 at the time. Who pushed her into such a traumatizing and adult situation?

“Look, let’s forget about the past for right now or we won’t survive this. Truce?” Kim asked.

Shego only nodded but took Kim’s hand and pulled her up.

Kim smiled and took Shego’s leather-clad hand. It was a start; a small start, but a start nonetheless.

“Do you know how to properly headbutt someone?” Shego grinned, wickedly.

[boshawbearclaw]

Flames In The Ashes Chapter 6

Warning in general, smut for days bruh,

@kittywolfy

9 hours after they crashed into the wonderful world of dreams, Lucas woke up layin' in the middle of Raw dog and Randy, their limbs entangled around Lucas like a safety blanket. Lucas had his arms around each of their shoulders, subconsciously pulling them closer, he leans a little to each side to pepper kisses onto their foreheads.

For once in years, he feels content and happy, but that moment was short lived because his alarm went off, "Goddammit, fuckin' loud piece of shit." He grumbles as he reaches over to his grab his phone with his right hand, bringing it closer to his face, his eyes harshly adjusts to the screen, squinting his eyes he makes out the time, 08:00AM. he shuts that shit down by tapping the on the part of the screen where it says 'cancel'.

Raw dog burries his face into Lucas' neck, grumbling about not having the stamina to run in gym class, Randy woke up at the same time as Lucas so he was just staring at his lovers face while smiling softly and stroking Lucas' little stomach hairs.

Lucas' phone buzzed 20 times during the night but they were out like a light, as he scrolls through the texts the more frustrated he becomes with each word he reads, there is no reason as to why they need to be so damn rude to him.

Lucas huffs and tosses his phone onto a random pile of clothes, "What's wrong, Lucas?" Randy asks softly, making Lucas look at him, he leans forward and rubs his forehead against Randy's at an attempt at affection. Randy smiles then leans in closer to fill in the space between them with a chaste kiss.

"I have to go to work, I'll be back later. I love you both." Lucas states as he gets up, raw dog unwillingly detangles his limbs with soft grumbles, the man scoots closer to Randy and wrapped his arms around him nuzzling his chest. Lucas watched the display with a smirk on his face.

''S good to be back, now to get dressed'' he thinks to himself, he turns back to face his closet and grabs random shit and puts them on, a black def Leppard shirt with a worn flannel and worn jeans with holes in the knees.

Lucas shuffles tiredly into the kitchen to make himself breakfast, a simple sandwhich really, he'll eat anything he can get his hands on, the music playing on the radio in the kitchen droned on as he finished making his sandwich, he ate quickly and when he was done eating he put up his dished then shuffled to the door and put his boots on before leaving.

He jumped down his steps, grunting a little when his booted feet his the ground harder than he intended, he walked over to his truck and got into it, he grabs the keys from the sun visor and stuck them into the ignition, turning the keys to start the car.

Lucas smiled at the sound of the engine roaring to life, he then took off down the dirt road towards the entrance to the trailer park, passing the gate he speeds down the road until he starts passing cars, he then grabs his phone from his pocket that he grabbed and stuffed into there before he left.

Lucas searches his texts for the directions on where the fuck to go, he grunts in annoyance when he reads the part where it says he needs to go to Atlanta for the table reading. Lucas turns on the radio and switches over to the hair bands station and turns up the volume.

As he entered city limits he was met with lots of people and cars everywhere, he was overwhelmed to say the least. Lucas sat at the first stoplight of today, the car next to him had a blonde soccer mom and her little shits in the back of her little mini van, already he was showing signs of his frequent aggressive behavior today.

He stared and rolled his eyes as she was on the phone with some fuck he didnt care about, her pink and purple yoga pants were obnoxious, his mind wandered absently as ge continues to stare. Lucas thought of what itd be like if he ate her flesh.

The rest of his thought was interrupted by the car behind him honking their horn, he retaliates by flipping them off and speeding off towards the offices, when he gets to the parking lot of the building he finds a random spot and parks there, shutting off the truck and plucking out the keys, he gets out and stuffs them in his pocket.

Lucas walks into the building and was met with a security guard and metal detector checkpoint, 'Fuck this shit' he grumbled as he walked over to the line, he stood out in this type of crowd considering everyone else wore professional clothing but he wore something a redneck would wear.

"Sir, empty your pockets and put any items in the tub then step through the metal detector, please." The guard said, Lucas snapped out of his stupor and did what the guard said, emptied his pockets then walked through the detector, beeps were heard as the guards computer monitor highlights Lucas' head, chest and crotch.

"Do you have any jewelry that cant be removed like piercings?" The guard questions, Lucas blushes and nods, "oh, ok you can head on in then." The guard motions twoards the hall just past the metal detector, "mhm." Lucas said simply, grabbing his shit that sat in the tub thing, he then head twoards the room that the table reading is being held.

"234, no, 235,no, ah 236." He knocked on the door with the shave and haircut tune, he waited there a moment before the door opened and the cute bear greeted him with a smile, "Lucas your here! Thats great, come sit down we're just about to start." Kirkman moves outta the way enough for him to get into the room, he shut the door behind Lucas, ushering him to his seat in between two guys, one guy had short curly hair and an angular jaw and the other that straight choppy hair with chin fuzz and sunglasses on.

"Everyone this is Lucas Boshaw, our own piece of Georgia history for the show, hes a little shy so be nice." Kirkman announced as Lucas got seated, they all looked at him with curious stares, the raven haired man shifts uncomfortably under the heavy gazes of the people at the large table.

"Lets get started, so, the episode starts with rick showing up at a gas station walking around, he then encounters a little girl, he calls out to her then she turns around and he finds out that the little girl was a zombie, in a panic he pulls out his Python revolver and pops her in the head, then the intro scene starts."

Everyone looked intrigued, even Lucas as he nodded his head slightly in agreement, "And then it starts as if everything was normal, Rick and his partner Shane sitting off to the side of the road eating lunch when they get a call on their radio about and hit and run turned full on high-speed chase, when they get there there's a shoot out. Then Rick gets shot, it shows him in the hospital getting visited by Shane but unbeknownst to him that a few months go by,-"

Everyone is so focused on what kirkman is explaining that theyre all staring at him like zombies looking at fresh meat, "- The camera starts at the ground following some roughed up boots, Lucas', and music starts playing, preferably something that came out before the 2000s, he continues walking when he stumbles across Rick calling for help. The music then cuts fades out when lucas takes off his head phones." The boss continues to fill everyones head with the script.

In the middle of Jon Bernthol's question about his character a ringtone shouted from someones pocket, "country roads take me home!" Some of giggled at Lucas' ringtone he rushed to answer it, "shit sorry hoss hold on, what do you want? No i havent seen him...well if i do later ill tell Stanley your looking for him,....ok Lamar, bye." Lucas shuts off his phone as he apologized for the disruption.

As the meeting went on they introduced themselves to each other, apparently the british guy on Lucas' right was named Andrew Lincoln who plays Rick Grimes, and to his left was Norman Reedus who plays Daryl Dixon, and the rest of the actors and actresses are Melissa McBride as Carol Pelletier, Chandler Riggs as Carl Grimes, Steven Yeun as Glenn Rhee, Lennie James as Morgan Jones, Laurie Holden as Andrea, Sarah Wayne Callies ad Lori Grimes, IronE Singleton as T-dog, Michael Rooker as Merle Dixon, Jeffrey DeMunn as Dale Horvath.

Apparently kirkman had the whole first season written out and planned already, the actors, actresses and extras and crew already. At the end of the table reading they were told to come in tomorrow to start shooting, when everyone left to go towards the parking lot, Lucas had stopped next to his truck and sat on the hood and pulled out his virgins slims and a lighter.

Norman appeared in his peripheral vision, Lucas jumped slightly, he turned to look at the squinting man. "You're Lucas right? How You uh adjusting to your new life so far?" Norman asked as he leaned against the trucks bumper, "It's going way better than i thought it would, to be honest."

Norman nodded with a smile, scooting closer to Lucas he started whispering, "your friends with Robert kirkman right? If you tell him to not kill off my character in the first season ill let you fuck me." Norman begs, Lucas raised his eyebrows, "Really? You'll let me fuck you if i convince kirkman to not kill off your character? Christ you're bold, Mm alright I'll talk to him." Lucas said softly, Normans face lit up when the other man agreed.

The older man shot forward and hugged Lucas, he gasped softly in surprise, "Thank you so much Lucas, oh god you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that." Norman squeaks into Lucas' stomach, "Do um do you wanna fuck me now? Or later." Norman said quietly as he let go of Lucas, the man nodded and hopped down from the hood.

Norman smiled sweetly at Lucas, "Get in Bubba, we need to make a stop before i go to town on your ass, heh." Lucas said as he rounded the side of his truck and got inside it, Norman got in the passenger seat as Lucas started the truck. They start their destination back twoards the trailer park.

A mile or 2 after they drove past city limits they stopped at a truck stop for some cigarettes and dill pickle flavored sun flower seeds, the heat of the Georgia sun showed as beads of sweat dribbles down the sides of their faces, Lucas parked the truck and got out, Norman following behind him closely.

On their way through the parking lot they spot an expensive looking green mini van, Lucas scoffs and continues on. Once they enter the shop Lucas immediately figured out who that mini van belong to, a rich suburban family wearing matching clothes were in the candy section picking out their selection of sugary snacks.

By the looks of them they're obviously tourists.

The mother with the 'may i speak to your manager' haircut turns to look at who walked in the store, once she spotted them she got uncomfortable as she stared at the tattooed man who stands over 6 feet with a muscular body and handsome but dangerous look about him.

Lucas sticks out his split tongue and flicks it lewdly in her direction, she blushes and looks away which causes Lucas to smirk, he strolled down the same candy isle, staring at the possible goodies Hangin' on the rack.

Norman scampers over to him, huddling close to him, "C'mon sweety lets see what your dad found." The mom said, Lucas glanced behind him and smirked when the mother blinked in his direction. Once they grab what they want they head over to the cash register, little goodies grasped in their hands.

They dropped 'em onto the counter with a clang, the cashier jumps slightly, the young girl behind the register starts checking out their items and puts them in a plastic bag, "Your total is $21.98." She states, Lucas nods and grabs a 20 and a 5 from his wallet that was previously in his back pocket, he waved her goodbye and leaves with the bag of goodies in his hand, Norman follows him back to the truck.

Soon the pair were on the road heading twoards their destination, 5 miles before the trailer park is when Lucas remembered that he has his best friends waiting for him, with that in mind he pulls over to the side of the road and shuts the trucks engine off. "Why are we stopping?" Norman questions, Lucas didn't say anything as he got out of the cab and rounded the side over to the passenger side.

He opened the door and pulled Norman out of the seat, using his large body to press against Normans smaller one, Lucas kisses his lips softly and nibbles on them with care, Lucas' lanky hands grasped at the mans ass. Moans escaped their throats as they hump each other feverishly, Norman undoes his own button and zipper so he could push down his pants and briefs.

Lucas stared hungrily at Norman, an animalistic look in his eyes that frightened the older man but made him even more turned on, Lucas flipped him around and undid his jeans as well, he also grabbed some lube from underneath the passenger seat and squirted some onto his aching cock, he chucks it onto the floor of the truck before he spreads the mans ass apart and slides his cock against the other man's hole.

Norman whines, "Please Lucas, fuck me already, i cant wait any longer.", Lucas smirked before sinking his large pierced cock into his winking pink hole, Norman winces a little but gets used to the fullness moments later, " Aah fuck, you're fucking cock is so big, i feel like im gonna split apart!" Norman reached out behind himself and holds open his cheeks.

Growls are heard as Lucas plunges his cock into Norman, nothing was on their mind besides the feeling of intense pleasure and heat swirling around in the pits of their gut, not even the fact that they might get caught by the highway Patrol or the families coming in or out of Atlanta, "Hnng fuck Norman, you feel so good,,." Lucas moans as he leans over the other man, biting the soft fleshy junction between his neck and shoulder.

Norman starts starts to get wrigley as he nears his climax, Lucas drools on his back as his own mouth hung open while he pounded Norman's ass, minutes of multiplying heated pleasure later, Lucas' thrusts became more erratic as he neared his own climax, "Argh fuck fuck fuck!" Lucas shouted as he came inside Normans hole.

They stayed like that for a minute before Lucas hucked his pants up and knelt down onto the dirt, he spread Norman's sore hole and started to lather the winking pink hole with his split tongue, soothing the slight bruising and miniscule tears while slurping up the cum that leaks out.

Lucas reaches through Norman's legs and grabs his aching dick, jerking him off at an agonizingly slow pace, "Aahh, fuck me, mm im gonna cum!" He yells into his fore arm, Lucas smirked before he began pushing his tongue in and out of Norman's ass.

Moments later the man was pushed over his edge, he came with a shout immediately after, his whole body shivered as cum spurted out of his cock. Lucas was done with licking him up a moment later, he got up off his knees and sucked on his fingers while Norman pulled his pants back up and buttoned them close.

Lucas stopped his finger licking to make a joke about how the mans ass is, "Finger lickin' good!" Norman turned around with a cute smile on his face, Lucas smirked at his face before kissing his lips softly while grabbing his bruised hips gently.

Lucas pulls away first and helps him into the truck before walking around the cab to get into the truck and starts the engine.

"Im gonna drop you off at the office so you can get on your bike and ride home, i don't think youd like my abode, heh." Lucas says before making his way back to Atlanta, the ride was mostly quiet save for the hair band playing on the radio, they made it back before sundown so that gave Norman to go home so he could do everything he needs to do before bed time.

An hour later Lucas was eating dinner with Randy and Raw dog, they later go to bed tangled in each other's limbs

"Sweet dreams, boys."

[bites-kms]

Southwest Roadtrip - Episode 1: Viva las Vegas

When it comes to discovering the US, Johnny Cash kept it simple and straight to the point: 

“I've been everywhere, man. Crossed the desert's bare, man. I've breathed the mountain air, man. Of travel I've had my share, man. I've been everywhere.“

And what a journey it was! Who knew a failed attempt to fly to Hawaii would result in such a fun adventure? We packed our stuff and jumped on a plane, destination Southwest of America. Starting by Vegas, passing through Arizona, stopping by Utah, resting in Colorado. Only my friend Belu would be as kamikaze to propose such thing and found in me such a blind partner-in-crime. It was September 4th, and we were rushing in a taxi from Hoboken to Newark to board our first flight during a global sanitary emergency, looking like Darth Vader’s close cousins with our masks and face shields. 

After an approximately 6-hour flight, we landed in the middle of literally nowhere. We were able to see the pyramid and some other iconic architecture which I currently do not remember because it was about only for 5 seconds before landing. On arrival, on a mostly empty airport, we were surprised by the amount of slot machines that were there, welcoming everyone to place their bets. For sure, ours was to have fun and contrary to common belief, the house didn't win this one: we had a blast!

Followed by a surprise “SIN CITY, WOOO HOOO!” shout from someone who obviously has been living inside a thermos for the last past months, we cracked up and went to fetch a car. This very nice gentleman took us to the Bellagio (yeap, we went full on cliche mode, with what was originally a non-existent promo) while DJ Dani blasted her best records to kick off this adventure with the right feet: Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley and Just a Gigolo by Louis Prima Success. 

DAY 1: 

First things first: check in and adventure. Hotel, amenities and surroundings. Vegas spins around two main areas: the famous Strip, 6.8kms of the brightest place on earth seen from outer space full of hotels, restaurants, shops and of course, casinos. Pretty much Disneyworld for adults. The Bellagio is the iconic hotel which hosts some of the greatest restaurants and also the famous dancing fountains. Also, is one that is pretty centrally located, in between Caesars Palace (Roman Empire themed), The Cosmopolitan (which imitates boheme life from France) Aria and Park MGM Las Vegas (New York City represent!), Excalibur (Middle Ages) Luxor (Cleopatra’s Egypt) and The Venetian (of course, Venice). Everything is within walking distance but beware of the heat: a normal day in the desert is around 42C (107F), if not more, with a melting down thermal sensation of 1000 in any scale. This is why is also a city that is enjoyable during night time. So, do not feel bad about sleeping in a bit: you can always chill by the pool in the morning, have a little something for lunch and sleep (or remove the hangover) during the afternoon when the sun is unbearable. OR, the casino is always open so that could be an option. We chose to walk around a bit (big mistake) but luckily once you enter to the casinos, they are all connected with escalators, shade and AC, so we were mesmerized by this grown up themed park, where is so easy to lose track of time. 

After an Italian lunch on a french bistro in a corner of Paris (? yes.. I know..) we went back and rest by the pool. Once the sun was already getting ready to bet some chips at night, we did too: we changed into our most shinny and glamorous outfit and won exactly 27 dollars! We checked out Venice, and some of the night shows that were happening on the streets (like naked promoters, the massive PM lines, and the crazy long-ass “juice” towers flowing around the more energetic covid-prone crowds) right before we headed up to Yellowtail, the Japanese and Michelin Starred restaurant at the Bellagio. We had their famous tuna pizza (it sounds terrible but it is more of a tostada or sashimi-style like) and got disappointed that they run out of the short ribs, but instead had some amazing sushi rolls and some tempura bites. When we found out about the beautiful, sigh-seeing windows that displayed all the fountain show we left our high-end attires aside and run to the windows, interrupting some other people’s dinner while leaving the waiters behind. We decided to go for dessert somewhere else and went to the piano bar located at the reception for a delicious espresso and a chocolate diamond cake. We did some neon-gazing and loved the fountain show to the beat of Believe by Cher, while being overwhelmed by a surreal feeling of actually being there, having so much fun and appreciating our friendship (and of course, avoided a high/drunk fellow who tried to take our pics and phone with them - she didnt know we were from New York and from Rio de la Plata, so the scam was on her!) 

DAY 2

Repeat. (and pretty much that’s all we did). We kicked it off with a fake breakfast by the pool, and some piñas coladas in between facemasks. We also had a light lunch by the pool (a greek salad with some much needed water) and then, around 6:15 we took a cab to the Neon Museum - yeap, for those who think there is only light fun in Vegas, nope, think again, there are worthy museums, too! ( I even made a joke here! damn I’m inspired!). The Neon Museum is a scrap dealer cemetery, where all the old and somehow “broken” -even thou most of them have been repaired and are currently working!- neon signs from Old time Vegas rest. It is very fun to see old hotels, random letters, icons and logos being laid there, creating a wonderful mess in the middle of, again, you guess right, the desert. It was very fun and beautiful to be honest. 

Another short taxi drive later (I was too naif thinking we could walk in short heels under the killer heat more than a block!) we drove thru what is known as “Old Vegas” or “Downtown Vegas”. This used to be the place where the magic happened before the creation of the Strip, but nowadays it only hosts what lingers of once a glamorous and kitschy past. The center of this action can be found throughout Freemont Street, a pedestrian long avenue that gathers classic neon signs, all-time Vegas characters (we still missed out on Elvis, so watch out impersonator, we will be back just for you!), stripers, street sellers, all you can eat venues, dodgy bars, and more and more neons.  According to Las Vegas Tourism Board>> “Fun people, crazy people, partying, gambling, drinking, street performers, free music and light shows, zip lining and just having a good time... that's what you expect at Freemont.”

We had some pizza, talked to this Montana guy who for a second thought he was able to have a threesome with us on his dirty van, were voluntary abused by these hot, ripped stripers who made us laugh with their pick up line: “You can leave your face mask here, right by your underwear too, please.” The guys were a “sample” - since the show is canceled due to the pandemic- of Chippendales, something a fine woman needs to experience once in their lifetime. Belu felt in love with her boy, but given the current times and protocols, this love couldn't prosper as we all wished it had. No worries amiga, next time!

But the most striking part of this decadent place was witnessing this surreal restaurant called Heart Attack Grill, where people who weight more than 350lbs (almost 160kgs) eat for free. The biggest burger consist on 8 patties, and as an FYI, only the 4 patty burger is marked on the Guinness World Records Book as the “Quadruple Bypass Burger” with almost 10.000 calories, all the beverages consists on massive soft drinks, milkshakes, beers and wine, (full bottles, of course, served from an IV drip bag) and it is not allowed to share food. The place is cash only, you gotta weight yourself before entering, each patty is made of half pound each, everybody must wear hospital gowns and if you dare not to finish your meal, you get three spanks by the horny yet not so sexy waitress dressed as nurses. As a nice little detail, on the biggest burger you can pump it up with 40 slices of bacon by only $7.99 more!  And, to wrap up this majestic hospital parlor, I recently researched that the legal owner of Heart Attack Grill is hilarious – Diet Center LLC. The founder is Jon Basso, who strives to provide “nutritional pornography” in his food. For a better comprehension (for a lack of a better word) of this place, you can check out this recap of Showtime’s series: Deadly Sins. 

So, we were mesmerized, we were educated, we bet, we ate, we drunk and we touched some sweaty strippers, so there was only one thing left to do: crush a weeding. So there we went. There were multiple chapels around the area, but I dont know whether it was the time (it was around, 9, 9 and coins) so it may have been a little bit too late or due to COVID, but no weddings were in place. We finally arrived to the Little White Chapel, the original, unique one that has the Elvis sign, the drive-thru and the proud sign that states how Michael Jordan and Joan Collins got married there. We were so bummed to found only a very young, very dull couple getting married (she was wearing black, hence, that is all you need to know) and there was not a very jolly, merry spirit. Still, we managed to hang out with the best men and got a picture of two to remember this fail attempt to crush this very much lame wedding. Up we went to the Bellagio, checking out what was missing from Sin City: the Wynn Hotel, Route 515, 51 and the Famous Welcome to Las Vegas Sign. 

We wrapped this unique experience witnessing an amazing, full moon in the middle of the desert, with a massive and delicious full on breakfast at Sadelle’s, a little piece of home in our far-away-from home hotel.  Till next time, Vegas! You were great fun! 

[hasksmfkan]

one last horror story

here’s the thing, i feel i should just get these out of the way. it could be that i’ve been binge watching criminal minds for day and that always gets yah but also i would like to get some things out of the way, off of my chest, so that i can just start talking about more random things that come to my mind... because that’s what i want this to be about is a look into my own mind but there are definitely stories i will be sharing for the sake of putting them into words and they will not always be sad! my entire life isn’t sad, i promise.

i also want it noted why i completely lost my mind, this isn’t about “oh i want people to hate this guy” it’s more of “this is why people hate me and here’s what i have to say” in fact this is a sad story, not even a hateful one.

i’ve only talked about this with a number of people because it is a very, very long story, but i have made two of my friends cry with this, i’m numb to it.

so it all starts in a very happy time in my life actually, it was about march of 2016 and i was working at a daycare and i shit you not some of those kids, after a while, were a decent reason for me to even get out of bed in the morning... dear god, i was in love. i mostly fell in love with a beautiful 1 1/2 year old, h, i swear this girl was the light of my life at that moment. i won’t get too into that, i cry every time i bring her up. one day i was about to take out the trash and head to my car and i saw her dad, e, and he asked me if i wanted help, he offered to just throw the bag in the back of his car and take it to the dumpster and i let him. he was 29 and he just seemed real approachable so a couple weeks later i came up to him as he was leaving and told him that i may be way out of line, but i would love to babysit h if i could at any time because i love her so dearly and needed the extra cash (daycare’s pay like shit). this dumb ass goes “oh, rockin” blah blah and we exchange numbers and he said he’d text me when he needed me. he ended up texting me and i baby sat her like two times before my boyfriend at the time started getting very, very jealous. so long story short it turned into like every time i was alone or texting, i was fucking e. which i wasn’t! so then i am driving and e calls me and asks me why his girlfriend at the time, k, is calling him saying c contacted her and told her we are sleeping together i was like ????? so i drive to his work and that got bad but i ended up discovering that  this dude went through the trouble of going on some job resume sight and finding k’s brother (don’t know how he knew her last name) and got a hold of him and through him, got a hold of k and emailed her that me and e were sleeping together, as you can imagine i lost my shit. so if that wasn’t enough, a couple days later i got randomly as fuck fired, no one ever even officially fired me or told me why, but e told me he saw c’s rusty ass car there the day before and i figured he had told my boss. so not only was i clearly fired. but k was so mad thinking that i was sleeping with her boyfriend that she stated i could never see my little h again..... other than my break up with c i don’t think my heart had ever been that broken, oh god i cried for days.

e and i continued our friendship though because he seemed like a rockin’ guy and i’ve been known to get along with 30 year old men, so yeah we occasionally texted but it was never anything sexual. i mean, i definitely knew he had the hots for me, i’m not dumb, but he wasn’t coming on to me at that time (after c and i broke up i was seeing him for a while though cuz he had alcohol of coke and we’ll talk about my sleep struggle some other time) but yeah, at the time i was literally not sleeping with the dude. but i mean, fuck i guess i was because every damn time i wanted alone time, i was accused of doing so. every time i was texting, i was accused of doing so, it got ridiculous.

okay so a lot of shit happened in the relationship in the mean time but now we are fast forwarding to september of 2016 and it will be clear why i shared that previous story, that is when my 2 weeks of living hell started. i think i was punk’d??? i hope someone was recording because god that’d make a good movie wow.

okay so here i am and my dumb ass made a tinder because i wanted to meet friends! i know, that sounds like bull shit but c lived with me and i just had no friends and if i did, he was always around when i was hanging out with them... so i knew tinder wasn’t my best bet for friends, but i tried! didn’t cheat and so i ended up just talking to one person, a, and granted while i am bi-sexual, i was in a relationship and before she even knew that she had stated she wasn’t into girls. so i was like “ah, perfect!” and the first time we hung out was at her house and it was just so great to have some girl time and get to know this new stranger, while yes she is beautiful, i was truly much more fascinated with her brain... she has an interesting one and a nice outlook on life. i believe it was only the second time we hung out and the first time she came by my house that she slept over, c was aware of this. we are sitting around and a is originally from colorado so she’s used to getting bud much cheaper than she does around here and i thought to myself “ah, e is old. he will give us more for cheaper!” so it was like 1am and i hit him up and we go to his place to get some bud. we were just all sitting in the kitchen talking when i got a text from c saying “get home, now” and so i did, i was scared shitless, don’t think i even said anything to him. i knew then that he had clearly driven his car past my house and saw that i was gone and then drove to e’s house to see if my car was there which surely enough it was. the next morning he comes to my door and i told him to leave because i had a friend over and did not want to fight, he really creepily kind of whispers “don’t worry baby, we won’t fight. i’m not mad.” so i let him in and the second i did, surely enough he started screaming at me about what a worthless slut i am, started hitting me, trying to get the ring off of my finger. i screamed for a and she comes running down stairs and shit and he tries telling her that i’m this slut or whatever i don’t even remember, i don’t remember if i gave him the ring but i do remember that he broke up with me, he left and that was all i cared about. (i came to find out that earlier that morning he stopped at e’s and key’d his entire car, slashed all his tires, and broke all of his mirrors. about 7,000 in damage to that guys car because he was so sure i cheated that night) i know you’re already thinking “why didn’t that bitch go home after that, like damn” because she’s a fucking trooper and that’s only half of the battle she went through with this. we decided we were going to have another sleep over and granted by then i could kind of tell she was into me, but i didn’t really think like that because she was totally into guys. so here we are and we were eating dinner when (my dad is out of town this whole time) c calls me in distress and pretty much was just not in the safest environment and needed somewhere to go and me being myself could not leave him where he was so i told him i would pick him up and he could spend the night but he was to sleep in my second bedroom and be respectful of the fact that i already have a friend over who is also spending the night. we picked him up and for a decent ass amount of the night it actually went well but then it was like after midnight and we were all going to go to bed and i reminded c that he was to sleep in the other room, he starts freaking out blah blah blah and then long story short i am laying in bed with a and let’s keep in mind c broke up with me the day before, not the first time he had so this time i was not going back without a fight. so i am completely single with this adorable girl and she kind of starts snuggling with me and she ended up kissing me and i shit you not, not even a full second later c swings the damn door open, picks me up like a little baby screaming “get the fuck away from my girlfriend” and throws me gracefully as fuck into the hallway, i was like “damn”. so he starts with the whole “how could you do this to me” shit and i was straight up like “nope, you broke up with me and you have multiple times so this time i am sitting on this for at least a week, we are not together. you did this, time to face the consequences”. bitchy? yeah, but i was done getting manipulated in that sense.

now it is the next morning and for whatever reason a is being her angel self and offers c a cup of coffee which he said yes to, she made it and i bring it to him along with the creamer because i did not know how much he wanted, simple as that. he get’s highly offended by this?? i don’t remember what he said but his ass did not drink that damn coffee so then we are all upstairs a while later... i don’t remember how but somehow he makes a rude remark about how “a didnt offer him coffee” or something literally fucking dumb like that and i just absolutely lost it, sat there screaming about coffee like an idiot for about 15 minutes. i then told c he needed to leave my house to which he notoriously replies “no” and i’m like “lol okay let’s get petty” so i call raul who was on vacation with his girlfriend and was rightfully pissed that i am having to call him for absolutely not the first time to get c out of our house. raul states c could take his bike because i had picked him up, he did not care he just wanted the damn kid out... so he complies and i told him i would meet him in the garage, i was going to get the bike off the wall hanger. i kept my dad on the phone this whole time because i knew if i hung up, i’d just be calling him back, so i’m sitting there talking to my dad for a minute and i realize “wow, c is taking a while to come upstairs... i should probably go see what he is doing”. tell me why i walk upstairs to see in my hallway, by my door, c holding a up against the wall and repeatedly punching her in the face/head. i dead ass dropped my phone and screamed, i ran over and attacked the hell out of the kid. (i should quickly state that the first person to ever lay hands on someone in this relationship was in all honesty yours truly, i wasn’t just senselessly beating the kid but when i got mad, i’d swing... terrible anger problems, we’re past that. but yes, i definitely was the first one.) we end up, together, shoving him out of the door and the idiot takes off stumbling, sprinting to the bike he knew i had waiting for him and he just took off. you could imagine after that that a bitch needed a cigarette and so we go to the garage for a to smoke her cigarette and we are standing there talking when i hear pounding on my garage door and a woman telling me to open up and let her in, i had no idea who this could be so i said nothing and was ready to go out there and kick some ass. she then pounds again and this time adds “kayla, let me in or i’m going to call your dad!” i’m like ‘what grown woman is threatening to call raul on me’ but also who ever it was knew me well enough to know that that would make me open my door so i go to the front door and surely enough it was two police officers, both of which i already knew. like yes, police, threaten to call my dad when i’m 19 years old, you guys know me too well. so i go out and they wanted to talk to a because apparently c took my dad’s bike straight to the police station and told them that a tried fighting him??? which the police knew was utter bullshit because this girl was 17 years old and weighs 90 something pounds, but since she was 17 they had to come regardless and see what was up. so it wasn’t until right now that i actually heard what had happened and this is it: so apparently after i went down to the garage, a leaned over on the floor to check her phone that was plugged into the wall and c grabs her by her neck from behind and starts choking her, screaming at her “you’re ruining my life!” or some weird shit and they ended up down stairs trying to kill each other and my jaw just dropped wide open, like what the fuck. they then stated that since her head was against the wall and he was repeatedly punching her, they wanted to make sure she didn’t have a concussion and either way had to take her back to the police station and have her mother come pick her up since she was technically under-age. they all leave and i’m up in my room smoking a couple bowls to calm myself down, i was maybe sitting around by myself for an hour before c calls me yet again in distress and needing me to get him. the thing about this call, though, was that i couldn’t understand a damn word he was saying. he was bawling and sounded almost intoxicated but i was able to de-code that he was down the street from my house. i don’t think i have ever driven so frantically so i’m real glad it was close but i turn the corner to see this kid dragging my dad’s bike down the street and i could tell on of his arms was bleeding. instead of being supportive i got real angry, i knew he was doing that to weasel his way back into my house and surely enough i was right. i dragged his loopy ass to walgreens then brought him home so i could properly clean and bandage his cuts. while doing this, he kept murmuring to himself and then asked me for a pen and paper... i still have this paper. he then proceeded to write down a group of five seemingly random number and started saying them under his breath. he took his pen and traced them over multiple times and then re-wrote them to form a circle which, while still talking to himself, he started to trace with his fingers and it was in that exact moment that i came to the conclusion i might be dealing with someone having a form of a psychotic break and that, my friends, is why i don’t think this story is funny even if i make jokes, again it’s who i am. i am not a damn professional, i don’t exactly know what the fuck i was witnessing, but having known the kid for so long and seeing what was happening, his mind and his age together, that was my “kayla conclusion”, which could very well be wrong... regardless it was fucking terrifying. i told him that he could again spend the night that night, but i didn’t want to kiss him or anything romantic i just wanted to get through the day and sleep.

now it is the next day and we wake up and are laying in bed and i have no damn idea how this even came up but he started talking about wanting to start a family with me and i was like “okay, i literally am scared of what may be going on in this kids brain” so i played along and we talked about that and i believe we ended up having sex and he took my birth control away from me and put it in my ring box that he had given me. having been on the pill for 5 years at that time, i knew that if i missed one day i would most likely be fine and would just try to take two the next morning. i don’t remember too much of this day given what ends up following but i do know that for whatever reason we went to target and while we were in the parking lot about to leave i informed him that a was coming over and he was not allowed to stay, i had felt so bad for what had happened before and wanted the chance to make that up to her. now see, usually when c disapproves of something he does not hide that by any means, but to my surprise he seemed okay with this! i remember thinking “wow, props to him.... cool”. so we go back to my house and he had about 4 hours until i told him he had to be out of there and we are sitting on the floor of my room watching bob’s burgers and taking dabs. c and i always joked about that when you take a couple dabs, you just need to poop... it’s just what happens! so he stated that he was going to use the bathroom and i figured he was pooping. he goes in the bathroom and starts to play “here comes the sun” by the beatles and i thought to myself “eh, i sometimes listen to music while i poop, too” but i also admit to myself that it was a very strange song choice for him because he didn’t listen to the beatles that often and if he did it was absolutely not that song. now, keep in mind i am insanely high and absorbed into bob’s so in the blink of an eye i realized it had been about fifteen minutes and that here comes the sun was playing on fucking repeat and that was when i knew that he was definitely not pooping in there.

my stomach dropped and my heart stopped and i took a deep breath and literally go “alright, larios” and walk to my bathroom door where i try to open it, but there were man feet in my way. i shove his feet out of the way with the door and open it to see this boy leaned up against my bath tub, blood running down both of his arms, and my fucking initials carved into his chest. you ask me to scream on command and i could not, but i swear i let out the most blood curdling scream ever and yelled “what the fuck are you doing?!” he proceeds to try to get himself to stand up, he had lost a little blood so he was staggering and tripping over himself and he sounded intoxicated. he stumbled towards me and started taunting me about every bad decision i have ever made in my life (i’ve made the mistake of telling him a lot through out the years). he said something about me having sex with an underage girl (referring to a who i only kissed, i have never had sex with any girl of any age, i am too much of a pussy. pun intended) and then said stuff about sleeping with a 30 year old man, just literally anything wrong i had ever did, he was taunting me about as he moved closer to backing me into the wall and i was in such shock i don’t remember all that was said by any means but i do remember him holding himself up against my sink and i told him “you need help, you need help big time. you’re going to the hospital” and he’d either say “no i’m not” in a real mocking tone, or he would even more spookily state that even if i do get him in the hospital “no one can help him, there’s nothing they can do”. i called my dad and told him to bring that kids ass to the hospital and i don’t remember much besides when my dad got home c did make it a huge point to out me as bi-sexual to my father. clearly raul did not give a shit and he took him to the hospital where this kid did not even notify his parents that he was at and he got admitted to a psych facility. the next day he called me all “oh i love you” like nothing had happened, i don’t remember too much but i did know we were still broken up and regardless i agreed to drive all the way out there to take part in a therapy session with him and bring him some pictures of my eldest orange. i drive about 40 minutes out there, facing my fear of hospitals for myself, so we go into the therapy room and he introduces me and the second i start talking about what had happened over the past week or so, i could tell right away just by the look in that woman’s eyes that he had not told her a single god damned thing about why he was in there. he got mad at me, which was fine, at that moment i was done with him, too. we broke up the next day and he lied his way out of that place in about a week.

does it make sense now, why i wanted to ruin his life for a while there? i’m past that, but i wasn’t crazy... i couldn’t eat after that, i couldn’t sleep (hence the cocaine, was desperately trying to keep myself awake) and i couldn’t even really be in my room because i kept going back to all that had happened. i lost about 25 pounds and absolutely lost my fucking mind, i slept with everyone... and their mothers i swear. i went insane in literally every aspect of the word but

i have an okay reason.

[iobunny]

My Abuse Story - I Survived

(Let me know what to tag cuz i’m out of it right now.)

I'm going to write this post like I'm writing a diary entry, or typing it to someone who would read it. I don't mind if people read it or not, I just want to get this out there while I'm in the mood to talk about what happened to me. I've kept this bottled up for a long time from people, and, I think it's starting to take a toll on me. I just want to get this out there before I decide against it, and, maybe delete it afterwards. (Forgive me for any spelling/grammatical errors, and I'm sorry if it's too long and boring. ) (Some things will be left out because I refuse to even acknowledge them. I only feel comfortable of certain things I want to talk about... I'm sorry.)

Okay, cracks knuckles here we go...

I'm 21 years old. I'm 4'11, 76 lbs, and I suffer from OCD, anxiety, and depression. I like to draw and write, and being with my friends and my sister means everything to me. Someday, I want to be a forensic investigator or a paralegal. Psychology and crime really interest me, and still do to this day. I was in college, and I was just like any other college student. Worked, studied, being lazy and not studying or doing work when I was supposed to be, all of that good stuff. Then I met him...

He was 6'0, around 270 – 280 lbs. He was popular and had a lot of friends, and a lot of girls who admired him. He did a lot of sports, and exercised on his free time. He was attractive, and to top it off he had a good heart and an interesting sense of humour. I felt some sort of attraction toward him, and I remember staying up till 5am to talk to him about our opinions of the world, talking about random nerdy things like League of Legends, we would talk about almost everything! ...

The very next day, at 10pm while we were on Skype, I asked him out... and I remember the surprised, happy-puppy look on his face when he said yes...

… and that was when my life turned into some sort of sick horror movie...

I remember always wanting to interview a sociopath... and I got too much what I bargained for. I didn't realize I was dating one!

I remembered he threatened suicide a lot, and said how horrible he was, and I did my best to make him feel better and be there for him. I remember running away from home (wasn't 21 at the time) just to comfort him.

What I didn't realize at the time was, this was all just a ploy to see how far I would go to care for him. His brother, who is closer to him than anybody else was at the time, told me he likes to do things for a reaction. To see what they would do and how would they react to something unexpected, whether it was positive news or not.

I'm gonna cut to the chase because I'm getting bad thoughts.

He bullied me. He degraded me, and tore every inch of self-esteem I had. Every little spirit, every little smile, all of it gone. It felt like a hungry demonic wolf just ripped through my body and ate everything I had, and left nothing but a pathetic skeleton to piss on.

I remember him saying to me, “___ you're useless. You're nothing but a dirty fucking skank, I'm only doing YOU a favour by dating you because nobody wants to be with some anorexic fucking rat like you. You're not good at anything and you're a college dropout. I deserve so much better than to be with you, but I feel so much pity for you that I have to be with you. Plus, it's too late to break up with you at this point, because I don't want my time to be wasted.”

“You're only good for having sex, and you're not even good at that.”

“You're so fucking retarded holy shit, how did I end up with you?”

“If I knew you were going to be this way, I would have never even thought about dating you.”

“You're so fucking ugly, but you have a tight vagina and that's all I care about at this point.”

“You think anybody is gonna believe what I say to you? Everyone thinks you're a cheating whore, they would never believe you.”

“There's so many prettier and better girls out there, you're lucky I'm a faithful man and wouldn't cheat on you even though you would cheat on me in a heartbeat.” (Then he proceeded to show me the girls and their text messages towards him.)

I remember him beating me with a some weird, thick stick thing during the wintertime outside, because he wanted me to talk about my past relationship, and he covered my mouth when somebody walked by (this happened at nighttime, we were sitting on the hill from where his house was and his brother's girlfriend came home from work) and if he told me if I said any word to her, he would snap my neck right then and there. I pissed myself I was so scared. (I'm sorry for being gross, I was just so scared.)

I remember he drugged me and raped me. I remember waking up the next day feeling nothing like a used up toy. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be anything but just a personal fucktoy, and not even a good one at that.

He smothered me with a pillow, and I couldn't breathe and it was one of the scariest moments in my life. All I could think of was my family and friends, and how I would never see them again... and they would never know what happened to me. I was so scared to tell anyone because I was afraid he would find out and kill my family and friends.

I remember he told me, “If you ever tell anyone, I would kill all of your family members, kill your pets, kill you, then myself.”

He admitted to me he used to be a gang member with his “dad” (his father is a scumbag loser), he personally had to do awful shit to prove his worth, and I truly believe he killed someone before. He had some scars to prove it, both physically and mentally.

I remember feeling his big ass hands around my neck and just squeezing the life out of me. My throat still hurts sometimes, but I don't think it's because of that. I think it's because I get really nervous and I just can't breathe. I still have anxiety, but not because of that. I was born with it. I mean, it could be? But I have no clue. My rib cage still hurts when he sat on top of me, I still can't lay in certain positions because it would really hurt my breathing!

He told me several times how he would kill me. He would take me to one of the big forests his city had that no one really goes to unless you want to explore shit or do drugs, and he would first rape me, then strangle me, then rape my dead body and just leave me. I told him my mother would start to worry but he said she won't be able to do shit because he'll just have his friends “quiet” her. I told him the cops would find out but he lied saying he did it before and they don't give a shit because it happens all the time in the city. (I realize now it's just a lie because people WOULD suspect something, but I didn't believe it at the time. I was stupid. I'm still pretty stupid, but not that stupid.)

We had unprotected sex, he wanted to have kids with me, to prove to me that I was faithful and I would never cheat on him. I was completely brainwashed at this point. I was literally his slave and I would do anything for him, even steal or kill myself if he wanted me to.

I stole alcohol for him (was under-aged at the time) just so he won't be upset at me... I did anything I can to keep him happy. I was constantly stepping around eggshells to have him happy and not have him upset because I was scared we would fight, he would threaten to break up with me, and hurt me.

(Holy shit I don't even realize how shaky I feel typing all of this.... I feel like I'm gonan cry)

I was alone at the time, bcause he didnt want me to have any friends or wear makeup or any type of “showy” clothing. I was controlled, he sniffed me to make sure I dont smell like a guy either.

While plagying league, I happened to meet some people who would eventually be my lifesavers. They lived in virginia, and they were all college kids having fun in life. They were so successful, so talented, and I thought to myself, Man, I want to be like them someday.

Long story short (I feel to worke dup at this point to keep typing), they saved my life. I moved down to virginia and I'm currently living with one of my friends, who I really look up to. She's like my mom, because she cares more about me and my wellbeing than my own mother! (Don't get me wrong, I love my biological mother to death and she loves me so much to, however, she's kind of selfihs... and wants me to stay up in NY where all of this shit happened. She drove me to my ex's place and would rather have me there than in VA where i'm far away from her. She treats me nicely to and would do anything to provide for me, so she's not a bad mother. But she's just... yea... hard to explain.(

I love each and every one of my friends, they saved me and made me feel happy again!

I'm currently awaiting my schedule from my burger king manager so I can start working, i'm looking for other jobs in the meantime too. I'm basically starting all over again in another state, where I feel safe and cared about.

I still have paranoid thoughts that nobody cares about me and everyone hates me, but I try not to believe them and my friens will tell me they care about me to disprove of that. I still feel worthless, I'm still a slut (but I embaraced it! No slut shaming) and I'm still stupid. I'm a hopeless romantic, I still love crime and psychology, and I really hope to go back to school one day and maybe help other people to get out of abusive situations ASAP.

I didn't save ME. My friends saved me. I just wanted to die, I still do, but not as much. I don't really cut myself anymore, I still drink to cope with everything, but hopefully I'll end that. I'm taking anti-depressants, sometimes I hope the alcohol and meds mix up and I end up getitng sick or somehing, but, whatever. I hate myself, but I have friends who care about me and I look at them like they're family, and that's all that really matters. I would do anything for them, and I hope I'll get enough money and pay them for everything they've done for me. They taught me so many things, and we shared so many laughs and jokes and I really want the best for them. I can be obnixous, annoying, stupid, and just annoy the living shit out of them, and I hope I stop that soon. I weird them out when I thank them so much, but im just so grateful they saved me and I have people that care about me y'know? Its weird

even after all of this nonsense, I hope my  ex gets the help he needs because I dont want him hurting anyone else anymore. I dont want him to kill someone, or someone dealing with the shit I dealt with or even worse.

I remember he told me he was gonna lock me in his godmother's basement and force-feed me nails until my stomach pops with nails poking thru them. Then rape me and have me shit myself and rats come and eat me.

so... thats my story. Thats it. I feel like shit now and Im gonna drink. Thanks to those that read, sorry about this. Bye.

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 2 days went! they were both pretty bad lol

so yesterday my first class was orgo lab. it was better than last week but it still fucking sucked oh my godddddd the actual lab only took everyone maybe 90 minutes but we had to get an nmr for our products and we had to do it one by one and it took 12 minutes per person so even though i tried to take my time doing things really slow to keep myself occupied i still ended up w like 50 minutes of doing nothing! it was so boring 

and then there was the girl who set me up. so we did the nmr in this separate room in the basement and the chairperson for the chem dept was operating the machine. the girl who works at the lab station next to me is named julia and i thought we were friendly acquaintances since we ask each other for help sometimes. so i got down to the room to run my product through the nmr machine and there were a bunch of students there already waiting for their results and stuff and the chairperson was talking to one of them and didnt acknowledge me at all so i was about to go wait for him to finish talking then ask him what to do but julia who had literally just finished putting her thing in the machine came over to me

she was like “oh i can help you set your product up and show you how to put it in!” so i was like “wow thanks!” so she showed me and as i was trying to put it in the machine it wouldnt go in so i was like ????? and then i realized julia literally showed me the completely wrong way to do it!!!!!!!!!! the chairperson came over and he was like “whoa whoa whoa that is not how youre supposed to do it” and then he showed me how to do it correctly. now julia had literally just finished setting hers up so i find it highly unlikely that she made honest mistakes when showing me what to do! i think she did it on purpose to make me look bad. she embarrassed me in front of not only the chairperson but my peers as well and if it was my messy classmates i wouldnt mind but it was all the ones who are actually good at this stuff!! rip idk what she gained from that since the chairperson has no influence over my grade but still an iconic cutthroat move i guess! i just wish she did it to someone that wasnt me

also i overheard 2 of my classmates talking about her a little earlier and they were talking about how she tried to steal both of their spatulas! so this julia girl is just cracked overall which is better than her just having a personal vendetta against me i guess

also 2 good things happened in that lab at least! first of all in the pre lab lecture noor came and sat next to me instead of whoever she sat with last time! so that was nice bc i wasnt sitting by myself. and then during the lab i was pipetting something and federico (the REALLY cute guy) was up to that too so he came over and he was like “can i borrow your pipet when youre done” and i was like yeah so it was nice that he talked to me

then i had like 45 min before gsa so i texted danielle and we hung out until the meeting and then the actual meeting was so much fun! we played jeopardy w lgbtq related questions and we were making the teams danielle and i were on one team while the president was on the other and we beat his team BOTH times! it was literally iconic bc we were losing the first game at first but then i started getting all these questions right and danielle started getting them right too and then in the second game this other girl on our team started answering everything too so the 3 of us were an unstoppable trio and the president was so bitter

also that reminds me i recently found out at last weeks eboard meeting and then i got even more info from danielle that day. so apparently literally all the other minority-based clubs on campus hate us and wont work with us bc our president wore that make america great again hat so like...rip that sucks for us lol 

so yeah gsa was super fun then in orgo lecture i got there early to make sure those freaks didnt steal my seat again but other than that it was uneventful

then there was what happened today. sociology was boring psych was relatively fun but also uneventful. anatomy lecture was fun except for one thing. the prof needed someone to help demonstrate something and he chose this random guy from the second row instead of me! and like it had to be a guy bc what he did would be kinda weird if he did it to a girl and i was the only guy in the front row so it wouldve been common sense to choose me but instead he chose that random!!! it was s/t about kidney stones so he made the guy come up to the front of the class and he had him like lean forward on the front table w his back/ass to the prof and rest of the class and he was like showing where the kidneys are and where to hit them if youre testing for kidney stones so he put his hand flat on this guys back and then hit his hand (that way he wasnt literally slapping the student) and its like...if he chose me that wouldnt been so iconic bc he wouldve had me bent over that table and he wouldve been touching my back but instead he chose that other guy so that was where things started going downhill

then anatomy lab was where it got even worse. so it was just a review lab before next weeks practical so he lets all any of his lecture students who arent in his lab sit in just to get extra review. so the lab was so full w all these randoms which made me irritated and one of the people there was the seat stealing guy! he was w this other girl and they were there kinda early and i was watching and they were gonna sit but theres only enough seats for everyone in the class so if extra people come theres gonna be a shortage of chairs. so they were sitting down and the girl was like “actually maybe we should stand bc it wouldnt be fair to the people who are actually in his lab if we stole their seats” and the guy was like “who cares!” and sat in a seat i was just like hmmmm.... so i guess hes just like this all this time 

so then i was still waiting for lab (several of us including the prof were there extra early bc lecture ended early) and this one random girl was talking to the prof just about random things for like 10 minutes!! i was jealous like who tf is she? freak

so then the actual lab was boring it was just review but it was kinda nice at first bc the prof was waiting for the TA to make copies of something so he was literally just telling us jokes it was like a rupauls drag race stand up comedy challenge but it was ruined for me bc the seat stealing guy was literally kissing this profs ass the ENTIRE time and he does this in all the classes ive had w him but he was doing it like even more than usual and it was just annoying i wanted to tell him to shut up but all of my peers like him so if i do that im not gonna be able to make any friends in my classes bc ill be the villain

so then after he finished the review we were left to review some more on our own then just leave whenever we felt like it but he also put out a sign in sheet for attendance. so everyone went up to it at once and i dont like waiting in crowds like that so i was just sitting then when the crowd dissipated i went up to sign it and it was gone and i was like “wheres the sign in sheet?” and the prof called out to the ta to take it out so i could sign it (it was literally right there but it was under the TA’s stuff so i couldnt just take it out on my own lol) and the prof seemed kinda exasperated at me asking and it upset me bc like its not like i waited until the last minute of lab to sign in?? like idk why they put it away so fast 

then most of the people left so i was at my table alone and there was one other table w like 4 people including the girl the prof was talking to earlier. and the prof literally went over and sat at the table with them just to talk about regular things! which he literally never does bc he always stays by his desk so first him not talking to me at all except for being pissy to me and then him being so nice and friendly to those other students really put me in a bad mood. but the TA came over to me and asked if i needed help w anything which was v nice of him. i didnt need help bc i was just reviewing the online models on the ipads but still. but then the TA went and sat down w the prof and those other students so whatever

so then i left and walked my dejected ass all the way to my car and drove home pissed off the entire time and yeah thats it! tm i only have orgo so since i have a lot of free time im gonna try to finally go to the student counseling center and set up an appointment

[parentingguide8-blog]

50 Concerned Parents On The Creepiest Words Their Demon Child Has Ever Spoken

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50 Concerned Parents On The Creepiest Words Their Demon Child Has Ever Spoken

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Cataloged in Creepy

50 Concerned Parents On The Creepiest Words Their Demon Child Has Ever Spoken

January Nelson Updated November 24, 2018

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These horrifying stories from Ask Reddit will make you second guess whether you want to have kids.

1. When my oldest son was about three, he said one night at bed time, “Mommy I like you better than my fake mommy.”

Me: “Who’s your fake mommy?”

Him: “You can’t see her. She tucks me in after you do.”

2. My niece was about 4 when I heard her laughing in my room. I walked in and asked her what she was doing and she said, “Chucky says if you stick your fingers in your eyes they come out of your mouth.” Then she told me Chucky lived underground. Still gives me chills.

3. Picked him up from daycare when he was 3. Driving home, totally quiet, him just staring out the window…

He randomly asks, “Hey dad, ‘member that time we died in a fire?”

4. My 3 year old daughter was going through the monsters under her bed phase. Lasted for weeks, and it was really wearing on her mom and me.

One night after mom tried to put her to bed, she tagged me in. After 30 minutes, I grew pretty frustrated. In a last ditch attempt, I promised my daughter that there weren’t any monster under her bed. She replied, “I know. Now they’re behind you.”

After that, I let her sleep with us for a week.

5. I heard the one-year-old’s high chair move even though nobody was near it. I asked the three-year-old, “What was that?” and he said, while pointing to the chair, “What is SHE doing here!?”

6. He started refusing to go downstairs (age around 3-3.5), terrified, saying there was an evil ‘angel man’ down there that wanted to hurt the whole family. Consistently drew the same picture of said angel man too.

7. This was terrifying. When I was a teenager I was babysitting for a family with three young children. The boy was about 8 and the girls were in kindergarten. Their parents had driven an hour away to see a play, but still planned to be home early in the night. However, I got a call that they had been in a minor car accident and would be home a couple hours later than planned. They asked several times how/if the boy was sleeping, which should have been a red flag, but I simply said that all the children were sleeping and left it there. About an hour goes by, and it’s definitely nighttime now. I’m sitting on a sofa downstairs and looking through some old magazines to pass the time. Suddenly I hear shuffling on the staircase. The boy was clearly sleepwalking, but his eyes were open and rolled back. He started running his hands along the wall and grabbing family pictures while screaming “they all must go, they all must go” before throwing the pictures down the stairs. Once I overcame a moment of sheer panic, I rushed up the stairs and tried to grab him. Once I’m about half a foot away from him he starts screaming, “If you touch me you die, if you touch me you die,” followed by manic laughter. By this point the sound of crashing glass and screaming has woken up the girls, and I can hear them crying. Totally freaked out, but still focused on keeping the kid from falling down the stairs, I grab the boy by the back of his pajamas and lead him back up the rest of the stairs and towards his room. When we get to his doorway he calmly walks to his bed and gets back in as if nothing has happened. Flabbergasted, I go over to his bed and he is perfectly sound asleep. I can still hear the girls crying so I rush to their room. They are huddled together in the back corner crying. I say, “Oh no no, it’s okay your brother is okay, he’s just sleepwalking, he’s fine!” One of the little girls looks at me and says, “We know he can’t help it, Simon makes him do it.” That was the last straw for me. I didn’t ask anymore questions, brought the girls downstairs with me, gave them milk and cookies, turned on the radio and turned every single light on. Parents walk in, and know immediately what happened. Never babysat for that family again.

8. My oldest kept talking in his bed past bed time. When we asked him who he was talking to he said he was talking to the floating white lady. I don’t remember the description he gave us, but what I DO remember is kid #3 doing the same fucking routine 8 years later…

9. My 3 year old grandson has babbled about plane crashes since he started talking. He would reenact (with toys) a plane chasing another plane and as the first suddenly dropped to the ground he’d yell in a heart-rending scream, “OH NO WE CRASHED!” This was his first sentence. He did this over and over.

Early this summer he’s 3 and I’m reading him a bedtime story. I pause and look up at him and he said to me, “Granny, I was a pilot, my plane was the Kitty Hawk. I crashed into the water when they shotted off my wing and shotted off my face.”

It almost stopped my heart.

He looked so troubled and sad. I told him that he had done his best and I was very proud of him and that he was only a little boy now and needed to not worry about that but if he needed to talk about it he could anytime. I just hugged him.

I researched and Kitty Hawks were used by almost every country early in WW2.

10. Not a parent, but when my little brother was 4 and I was like 18 we were playing with Hot Wheels cars. He just started singing the alphabet song, which is normal for kids to just start singing at random times, but he had a twist to it: “A, B, C, D, E, F, G… Everyone is dead…” I just looked t him for a moment and then just kept playing with cars Kids are weird, man.

11. My son (7)…

Dreamily and out of nowhere: Today is the day I’m going to die

Me: What??

Him: Oh no mom don’t worry, not today, but on this date some other year.

12. When my cousin was a kid, there was a doll at a toy shop that she longed for, for months. She was a fabric doll with a painted face, had red hair made from yarn, and a green, printed dress. She got the doll for Christmas and fairly soon after had a dream that the doll was laughing and pulling out her toenails. She was so freaked out that they had to get rid of the doll. A couple of months ago, my cousin’s 8 year old son came to her after a nightmare about a mean doll and described my cousin’s doll exactly!

13. When my daughter was little she was crying and I went to check on her. She said she couldn’t get the picture to go away. I said what picture? She pointed to an empty spot on the rug. I asked her what it was a picture of. She said it was my car on fire.

I was leaving for a long road trip a couple days later. I never drove so carefully in my life.

14. One night my husband had gone out with friends and I had settled in for some Netflix after the kids went to bed. My son got up and walked past the bathroom to where I was sitting then stopped. He had dead eyes. I asked him if he was ok, did he need the bathroom, did he have a bad dream, and although he turned his face towards me he didnt answer and his expression didn’t change. It was like he was possessed or zombified.

I led him into the bathroom and he followed easily enough but just stood by the toilet. When I told him to pull down his pants he did, but I still had to say, “Now go pee,” like he couldn’t figure it out on his own. He would follow direct orders but not answer questions, wouldn’t talk at all and had a dead expression the entire time. I was getting more and more frantic trying to get him to respond to me or show that he could hear me, I called my husband and told him he needed to come home, something wasn’t right. Sat on the side of the tub panicking and almost crying and he just stood there and watched me impassionately.

After about fifteen minutes he tilted his head, and blood started running out of his nose and down his face. No reaction out of him at all. I grabbed a handful of toilet paper, shoved it under his nose and told him to hold it – he did, blank faced, then picked my phone up to call 911. Before I was done dialing my son said “….Mom? What’s going on?”

It was so unexpected and my tensions were so high I jumped and almost screamed. Told him he was having a nosebleed, he said he didnt remember anything at all. Asleep in his bed and woke up in the bathroom with his mom crying and his nose bleeding. That was the day I realized my kid was a sleepwalker and I was a total wimp of a mom.

15. My daughter was in the backseat looking out the window and just calmly says, “Mommy look at all the people ” She was pointing at a cemetery that just has plaques no head stones so it looks like a pretty field. And she was 2 and there wasn’t a living soul around for miles. I just turned on the radio and acted like everything was fine. It wasn’t.

16. Not necessarily what the kid did, but heard him scream horribly loud on the monitor. My girl said there’s a black figure standing over his bed.

I jump up and as soon as I do the basement door flung open, my dog freaked the fuck out running, I ran upstairs, grabbed my son and we stayed at my mom’s lol.

My fiancee had an existential crises because she now believes in ghosts.

Funny enough I knew the family and dude who died in our house, so I went in the attic and found suitcases right above my son’s room, with the guy who died dead sons things were. Me and my cousin grabbed them and returned the items to the dead sons old wife.

Did an “exorcism” when all sorts of weird shit happened. We recorded it and got video of his camera and mount getting ripped off the counter. The stand held going 100 mph on the outside of a car, and wouldn’t come loose unless a tab was pulled, on top of that batteries died about 20x faster than they should have.

Although after we did that Rex (the dead owners dead son) never came back.

Turns out Rex was a dick in life. So scaring my kid wasn’t out if the question.

17. Not my kid, but I was at my friends place for a cookout. His son opened the sliding glass door, tapped on the side of his house, and said, “I’m going to burn this down.” He then casually walked inside and shut the door.

18. My cousin’s kid:

Middle of the night got dad’s hunting knife out and stabbed the leather couch over 50 times. He’s 5.

19. My one year old will point to a spot on the ceiling, say awwww, make grabby hands towards it then begin tracking whatever it is she sees and blowing kisses at it. I’m pretty sure it’s satan. Nothing good lives on the ceiling.

20. I used to say things my grandfather used to say a lot. Like yelling out in German at our dog. My grandfather died years before I was born.

21. Driving with my (then) 3 year old cousin. Out of nowhere she screamed . I asked her what was wrong and she said it was the . I don’t know who taught her that.

22. Found a picture of a lady in a fancy hat while on a walk. Six year old declared the lady was dead. She then said we should find the grave, dig up the body and wear her skin. We could use the skeleton for Halloween decorations.

23. I’m not a parent but am a nanny. This was a little over a year ago. I asked my 3 year old boy charge to do something simple… clean up a toy or throw out a napkin from lunch, some menial task like that, which he does a dozen times a day. He shook his head, and I reminded him about cleaning up after ourselves.

He said, “I can’t. The man in the floors says no.” I got a little chill and asked him what he meant. He pointed at a heating/cooling vent in the floor and said, “You can’t make me do it.”

It never came up again. So far, no man in any of the floors or vents.

24. Not a parent, but one time my brother at around age 6-7 (he’s 10 now) mentioned an old apartment we used to live in years before he was born. I asked him how he knew about it, and he said “Before I was born, Jesus showed me and said ‘This is going to be your future family.’” Our family / community isn’t religious at all.

25. Not my child but my granddaughter. 7 years old at the time grabbed my face looked me in the eyes and said… “I love you so much I want to cut your head off and put it in my back pack, so you’ll always be with me.”

After I explained to her that she couldn’t do that because I would die, she said, “Oh well that’s life.” She’s 13 now, my head is still attached to my body so I’m good so far. I’ve asked her if remembers saying that to me, she doesn’t and thought what a horrible thing to say.

26. Sleeping in bed, wife was at work, sense someone at the side of my bed. I slowly opened my eyes to see my 5 year old standing at the edge of the bed.

“Whats going on?”

“They’re coming for us”

“What?”

He proceeded to walk back to his bedroom and go to bed. We discovered that he was a sleepwalker, who also suffered from night terrors (the night we discovered that one is another horrifying night).

27. When my oldest daughter was in Kindergarten, she wrote and illustrated her first book titled “I Hope You Die in a Fire.”

28. A few month back. I had just put my 3 year son to bed a couple hours prior and I was downstairs watching TV. I hear him calling out, so I go up to see what he wants.

He tells me that there is a ghost in his room. He’s not really scared or anything only ghost that he is aware of are the ones in some of his cartoons or during Halloween.

So I just look around the room and tell him I don’t see anything and that ghost are not real.

He looks square into my eyes and say. “No Dad, Ghost went in my mouth, down my throat and is in my tummy. “

Hmm. Ok son go back to sleep now. Cause I may not.

29. I woke up one time to my 3-4 year old brother tossing lemon heads on my face. I asked him what he was doing and he admitted to trying to get them in my mouth so I could choke and die. I was like holy fuck that’s a little fucked, and told my parents but they laughed and said it was just him being a dumb but cute kid.

30. “Mommy, will you ever hurt me with a knife” I told her no. She followed up with, “Ok good. I know some moms do that.” She was 3 when this happened. She had never seen videos or anything that showed child abuse, so I’m not sure how she was aware that some parents hurt their kids. She’s also never been abused by anyone.

31. Not my kid but nephew.

He went through this phase of being absolutely terrified of going to sleep in his room (I’m sure all kids go through this eventually). I babysat a couple of times during this phase – we basically had to sit beside his bed and help him fall asleep, and he’d usually wake up shortly after you left the room and start crying.

His reason? “The big dark scary man standing in the corner with red eyes doesn’t want me to sleep.”

32. When my son was about five he started having night terrors. Eyes wide open, he would stare into an abyss of his own devise and scream with the chilling ferocity of hell itself. I would hold him and rock his rigid little body until he loosened back to sweaty deep sleep. What I never told my husband or the pediatrician, or even my mother, was that I was afraid of him during those nighttime bouts of what looked and felt like nothing less than possession. I was afraid of my own sweet child and wanted to run away.

33. When my daughter was 4-5 years old we lived in a two bedroom townhouse. It was just the two of us (mom and daughter, her dad passed away). She always crept into my bed at night but never said why. One day we were cleaning her room and putting away laundry and she got very agitated and said, “Why is he here now? He said he only comes at night.” I asked if she was talking about Dad. She said, “No the boy with no hands.”

We moved a few months later and she’s never come into my bed at night or mentioned him since.

34. My three year old: ‘I want to make everyone not alive’

….ooooookaaay little buddy

35. When my son was 3, he had an existential crisis. He had just discovered death, and every night as I was going to sleep, he would fixate on the fact that everyone is going to die. A lifelong atheist, I found myself talking to him about heaven, just hoping something would reassure him and make him worry less and maybe go to sleep for a few hours. But this nightly anxiety attack over the inevitability of death went on for months.

One night, I’ve calmed him down, he’s quiet for a long time, I think he’s finally asleep, I’m about to tiptoe out of the room, when loud and clear he says:

“MAMA WILL DIE TOMORROW.”

I knew this was just lis latest bout of worry, but he said it with such conviction I spent the whole next day holding my breath. Maybe he knew something I didn’t!

36. I was asking my 3 year old if he remembered being born then I asked him if he remembered what happened before he was born (because of reddit threads like this and the creepy answers they sometimes give). Without missing a beat or any prompting from me other than the question he goes “I was in a helicopter that go round and round and round then BOOM into the ground!”

37. My daughter was about 8 when she asked, “What’s it called when your parents die and you go live with someone else, who are the people?” I answer/asked, “Godparents?” To which she replied, “You and dad should get those.” Huh? Am I dying? Are you dying? I’m confused and terrified!

38. A few weeks ago I was getting breakfast ready for my 3 year old when he nonchalantly told me his Grandma fell down the stairs. About an hour later Grandpa calls us to tell us Grandma had fallen down the stairs.

Also last weekend my 3 year old said my sister was going to visit the next day and guess who showed up for a ‘surprise’ visit…

39. When my special needs son was 10, he had to have a very serious surgery. It was an 8 hour procedure and it was a pretty risky operation. We did not tell him these risks. Right before they wheeled him into surgery, he hugged me and said “Goodbye. Forever…” He made it through and his quality of life was dramatically improved by the surgery. Scariest 8 hours of my life though.

40. Well, this morning I was lying in bed, my almost 2 year old came up, put her face right up to mine and I though maybe she wanted a kiss. Then she said, “Mama, I want eat your eyes please.”

41. Not my parents, but a story they tell me about myself when I was young. When I was 3 we moved into a new home. We were eating dinner in our big, somewhat creepy new house when I stop and stare at the ceiling. My parents ask if everything’s okay. I shush them and reply “We have to be quite. We don’t want to wake up Marcus.”

Well we don’t know any Marcus so my parents silently freak out thinking maybe I saw a “ghost” or something. Long story short when I visited my uncles They would tell me to stay quiet cause their neighbour (Marcus) lived above them. Definitely spooked my parents good

42. Not my son, but a friend’s son said “Uncle (me) is gonna die in the water.”

Me and his dad:”WTF?? How?”

Him: “He’s gonna fall from a bridge and die in the water.”

He walks out of the room laughing. He’s 4.

43. It’s one in the morning, I’m dead asleep with my wife in the living room reading. All of the sudden the baby monitor is blaring my 16 month old son’s laughter in my ear, so I jump up, run into his room, and he’s standing in his crib pointing at the corner of the room and giggling hysterically. I just stared at him for a few seconds before I grabbed him and put him in bed with me.

44. Once when my toddler was hugging me he quietly said “I won’t eat your bones.” Oh, uh…much obliged…

45. When my daughter was around 4 yrs old, she had a habit of waking me up by getting 4 inches from my face and staring at me until I opened my eyes. Once my eyes opened, she’d say, “Mommy your face is pretty. I want to wear it on my face.”

Ok, Hannibal, let’s get some breakfast.

46. I have twin daughters. One day while playing outside, one looked up at the sky and said, “The sky is cracked… and on fire.”

My other daughter looked up and said, “Yes…. the people are screaming.”

Then they went back to playing with dolls. Fingers crossed they’re not predicting the future, everybody!

47. My three year old son said, “Next time I’m a baby, I want to have green eyes.” I asked him if he had been a different baby before being who he currently is, and he squinted his eyes, looked at me like I was an idiot, and said, “Yes, papa.”

48. Not my kid, but a neighbor. Maybe 7-8 years old.

“Hey Mr. Soomuchcoffee, whatcha doin!?”

“Bringing in groceries dude.”

“Can I come inside your house?”

“Oh, nah buddy. I’m busy, and your mom would wonder where you went, I don’t think she’d like that too much.”

“You mean I really can’t?”

“Yeah bud. Sorry. Maybe another time when you mom knows where you’re at.”

“I…I’m gonna use my gun and put a virus in your brain so that you die!”

“I uh….ya. Alrighty then. Welp, groceries bye bye now!”

49. “I want to play “Frozen” but only the part where the parents die in a shipwreck.”

50. A kid once sat near a camp fire and seemed to be lost in thoughts. I asked what he is thinking about. This 6 year old said, “I wish I was high up in space and the whole world was on fire. That would be beautiful.”

is cataloged in Creepy Kids

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer. Her work has appeared on Facebook, …

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If you have the time, do all you haven’t done!

omfg! haha okay holy shit

Alisons: Sexuality?

lesbonym

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

She/her

Amaryllis: birthday?

nov 4th! 

Anemone: Favorite flower?

sunflowers and port wine magnolias for their scent and peonies! 

Angelonia: Favorite tv show?

id say favorite of recent would be big little lies 

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

i don’t know i guess it depends on the situation. i find myself agreeing to do things for strangers for some reason like one time i took an acting workshop and i literally drove three people home afterwards even though they didnt live anywhere near me and i didnt know them at all lkjsf

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

i dont drink much else but water usually lol. i like cold brew coffee and iced tea too. and lemon ginger tea. alcohol-wise i love gin and tonics, red wine, and old-fashioneds 

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no but i said that the time before too LMAO 

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

im not sure. i’ve felt really strong feelings for people in the past but i don’t think it’s ever been mutual so i guess not 

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

god i don’t know if i can do a favorite of all time. i recently played this video game Submerged and it was a really cleansing and wholesome time and I’ve been listening to the orchestral score of that a lot since. any lana del rey song, get free - major lazer hits me in my toner tbh, the jazz standard stardust - there are so many versions i adore idk its too hard to pick ill just end up listing my whole spotify soon i dont really have all time favorites i just go thru waves Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my mum runs a childcare business, my nan works at a post office, my brother is an IT guy my sister in law is a hairdresser and i have two young nieces who are in 1st and 2nd grade. they all live in my hometown which is kinda far from me. my dad passed away a few years ago but he owned a flower farm. my parents separated when i was in 2nd grade but i spent every holidays with my dad. i have looooooots of cousins lol 

Beebalm: do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i dont really do the hierarchy thing ! but i have a few. my friends jess and rach from here are my fave people ever and literally make me cry with laughter when we all hang out and my friend meg who i’ve known since 8th grade is my vegan salad club soul sister and i love her to death 

Bellflower: favorite animal

dogs and toucans ! lov birbs 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night! 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

that i dont understand how i didnt get the maternal gene when my mum literally looks after children for a living slkjsdf. im not opposed to having one someday but not for a while and i think id honestly be content either way 

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

small spaces/being trapped which i dont know? ive just always had some level of claustrophobia i dont know where it came from 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

probably stressed LMAO. idk hanging out with loved ones eating good food trying to do a bunch of things i’ve always wanted to do

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

in a committed relationship with a body pillow and my vibrator 

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when i can speak openly and be vulnerable comfortably. when people tell me they care about me and value my presence 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

2x each ear and one cartilage 

California Poppy: Height?

5′6

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a cute grey nightgown lol *+*

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

im sure i did when i was younger but now light kind of bothers me when im trying to sleep

Chrysanthemum: who was the last person you kissed?

my friend when we were drunk

Cock’s Comb: favorite font?

i dont think i really have one lol

Columbine: Are you tired?

im kinda like comfy sleepy. its pouring rain and a cool breeze is coming through my window and im really cozy so its just like. nice. 

Coneflower: Dream job?

scriptwriter/director 

Crane’s-bill: Introvert or extrovert?

im an introvert

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

im fiercely loyal to those i love. 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

scorpio babeeeeey

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

hmm. in what scheme lol. of the world? probably not yet but we’re working on it.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

idk if its an accomplishment but my travels are probably the highlight of my life to me. im kind of always fearless when i travel lol and i love that for me 

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i dont know. i like to think im good at talking people through things and being empathetic and giving advice. i try my best to be there for people 

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

letting things go. not bottling things up. 

Freesia: what are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i finished school for the semester ! i started a painting! i saw two cool theatre shows. 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

actually pretty good!

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not really but i’m starting to see the potential in the future a lot more. i tend to get really stuck and struggle to see beyond my current situation but i’m trying to look forward and realise that things are going to get a lot better with time 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

direct a short film i’m happy with, write more, travel overseas, cultivate a close group of friends here, go back to singing lessons.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

watching youtube videos ! jenna and julien and remi cruz are my favorites they just make me feel so positive. listening to podcasts especially my dad wrote a porno because even if im in the worst mood ill literally be sobbing with laughter. listening to music and playing mindless games on my phone! watching movies and tv shows. getting out of the house and going to a cafe/wandering around the mall. going to the movie theatre. reading ! 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i use my words a lot of the time. if i really care about someone i’ll talk to them and be there for them.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im proud of my strength and my unwavering knowledge of what i deserve. im proud of my friends and my family and everyone in my life.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day?

waking up and taking a dog for a walk having coffee and brunch with a close friend doing something fun like rock climbing or ice skating or going on a hike then going to see a show and going home to watch movies or play video games or play card games 

Hyacinth: what do you like to do in your free time?

read, watch movies, exercise, talk to friends, write

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Jess and Rach i met on here like ??? i cant remember when ?? 2012 ?? 2011? then we finally met in person in 2015 and now i swear i see them more often than i see friends i live in the same place as. my best friend from high school i met in 8th grade so 2007?? 

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

my best friends. my sister in law. 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

idk its kinda weird to count lol 

 Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

hmm. this random lady in a mall once told me i can pull off red lipstick better than anyone shes ever seen before shhhhwooooosh. some of the things people have said about my fics literally makes me want to cry. one of my professors last year wrote a really lovely recommendation letter for me and told me i was fucking awesome and was going to do great things. 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

She’s Trying. idk i struggle sometimes but at my core im proud of myself and i know my worth 

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My resilience and passion and empathy.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

that i lose sight of what i want and how to get it. that i shut people out and am sometimes so scarily independent that it tips and turns me lonely. 

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

visit my nans on the weekend and play video games. go to the beach. read !!! write. 

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my best friend had the same name as me and we’d play bratz and she had a pool so it was lit now she lives a few houses down from where my mum lives and has a child and we havent really spoken since like 9th grade lol slfj 

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

not making it back in time for my dads funeral

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

a lot of the time im self assured enough to not feel guilt over things i know aren’t my fault or situations where im not in the wrong. i never want people to be unhappy or struggle even if they probably dont deserve my sympathy though so i get mixed feelings there. 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it?

i grew up on a coastal beach town. a small sleepy lil bay. it’s super pretty and idyllic and gorgeous but living there grew a bit monotonous tbh im not a small town person. visiting is lovely though. my nan literally lived basically on the beach when i was growing up youd just like roll down a hill and be on the sand. i loved it so much

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a few different ones. i usually had purple walls ! and id decorate it with random things i was interested in and had books everywhere

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

i mean not a whole lot LOL high school kinda sucked. i did really well at school and i had some good friends! it wasnt the worst but i was also a closeted gay and didnt know who tf i was so there was some struggles around that. 

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom?

shes generous and selfless and kind. she’s had a bit of a rough life but she’s strong. 

Onions: Tell about your dad

i love that this q is ‘onions’ mood. our relationship was ,,, turbulent. i have some really great memories with him and visiting was honestly good a lot of the time when i was growing up! we’d play pool and id help them with the flowers and we’d go out boating and swimming and bowling and do lots of fun stuff but he was also an alcoholic and gradually got worse as i got older and he was really intimidating and could be really hot and cold and had really unrealistic expectations. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents

 i was really close with my grandmother on my dads side she gave me my passion for reading and writing !! when i was really young i would sit in her lap and she would read me stories and then when i got older i started reading the stories to her we were super close she passed away when i was in 6th grade and it was really sad i loved her. my grandpa on my mums side taught me how to play pool !! he used to run the pool club where i’d compete and he was just a nice guy he passed away a few years ago. and my nan on my mums side is an icon i love hanging out with her i grew up spending almost every weekend at her house playing video games she always has all the newest consoles and video games for all of her grandchildren lol we go for walks on the beach and shes awesome one time she came to pick me up from school blasting low by flo rida we stan 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

hmm my 16th maybe ! that was when i was in the US and i remember having cheer practice and my host mom brought cake in and it was just really nice. idk why my 10th birthday is so memorable to me but i had a lit bday party and i remember so much about it lol? 

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a barista! 

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

i dont know if i have an idea on how i hope to meet my future partner its not something i plan or have a preference for. ive met most of my closest friends online and w being gay *+* lol itll prob be through online im guessing. 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physically? poorly LOL im such a baby if im in pain in any way. 

Pink: where is home? 

idk. i dont know if i have one just yet tbh. we’ll find it ! 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, whats is one thing you would stop/change?

hmm i try to live without ragrets. there are a few situations id like to go into either wiser or not at all though if im being hoe nest. 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

hmm. there are a few actresses/celebs i look up to ! all these qs are turning my brain into goo LMAO i cant think

Rhododendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i heard once that someone related to my great grandfather had some kind of connection to french royalty ?? idk how true that was but i was waiting for my princess diaries moment for a while there 

Ricinus: who’s the most important in your life?

me bitch

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

rain/thunder 

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

to read fic until im too sleepy to keep my eyes open then drift off *+* 

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

depends on the situation. i wouldn’t say easy but i can speak and explain myself well because I spend soo much time thinking about things lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

my mum 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 9 hrs lol 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

coffee

Touch-me-not: how do you feel about your current job?

that i need one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

black jeans 

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this and that. packing to go away

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? what were they called?

lol none really. i read a few at the beginning of the year but nothing lately. ive read innumerable fic tho does that count

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

happier ! growing ! loved. i want to feel accomplished with what i created during the school year, fulfilled. surrounded by people with pure intentions. hopefully just overseas somewhere 

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

whY is this a question ???????????????????

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself

i used to be a fitness instructor 

okay that was a lot more questions than i thought it was LMAO fuck

thank you for the entertainment that was fun ! xx 

[sarahsadventuresineurope-blog]

3/19/2017

okay so the every other night thing didn’t really work lolol but def going to try to update more.

so lots has happened in the past three weeks lol

the first weekend was frankfurt/wiesbaden to see Selin! ah that was such an amazing weekend. took the early ass 6 am train by myself. that was a journey hahah made a german friend on the train. at first i just sat randomly but then a man came and said it was his seat so i was confused because i didnt know that seats were assigned so i asked and i found out that you could reserve seats beforehand but i didn’t so i had to find an empty seat so that was interesting lol. but yeah sat next to this girl, slept a bit, listened to a bit of music. then started talking to her about random stuff. turns out she studied for a year in arizona! so that was cool. but yeah finally got to frankfurt, got off the train and told selin. she was running late so i just hung out at the train station for a little. she finally got there and it was crazy to see her after like 4 years! she looked exactly the same haha. so yeah then we went to this place called palmgarten, its basically a huge park with a bunch of pretty flowers and plants inside huge buildings, like a botanical garden! that was nice to spend a few hours at looking at all the cool plants. it was nice to be in a lil bit a nature haha. after we were hungry so we went to this main shopping place in frankfurt and we went to this mall and ate at this asian fusion place! it was prettyyyyyy darn good haha. after, we just did a bit of shopping, treated myself to a couple shirts hehe. after we decided to walk to the river to walk along it. so we did that, then we decided to go to this place called main tower and go up to the top to see the city from that view. it was soooo pretty! frankfurt is a big city haha. after that we went to this film museum, which at first seemed a little lame, but it ended up being really really cool! we got kicked out bc they closed at 6 haha but then we just started the journey home to wiesbaden! we got back to her house at like 7:30 i think, and her parents had dinner ready! it was this really good turkish meal, it was like thin naan bread with cheese and veggies in the middle ugh it was sooo good. but yeah we just hung out and talked with her parents for a long time haha they were soooo nice and friendly :) then headed to bed decently early since selin and i had done a lot that day

the next morning we woke up, had a dank breakfast, then we headed to a castle nearby!! selin’s mom drove us, so we were able to see the surrounding scenery and we got to see a couple castles! they were so pretty hehe. they were also all next to the rhine river so it was cool to see the river too. we drove thru this pretty town known for their wine. then we took this ferry across the river in the car (which was pretty cool) and went to our main destination. this castle was cool! it had a museum so we could walk thru it and read all about its history and look at all the cool stuff it had. after, we took some pictures and got a coffee at the cafe, then drive back home. her mom dropped us off in the city center of wiesbaden so we could explore. so yeah selin just showed me all around the city, we went to this bath place thing that is now like  a casino/ball room and it was so pretty! then we got lunch at this suuuuuuper yummy place called du und ich i think, and it was so freaking good ugh. after we found mac and cheese at a local rewe lol then we walked around a little more, saw the world’s biggest cuckoo clock haha then we went to a bar nearby so she could show me where her friends hung out! we got a couple drinks there and just talked and caught up. after we went to this other place for cocktails and talked more. we spent so many hours talking, it was great! the service at the second place was so shitty lol but yeah we left pretty late and we had to take the bus home so we got back to her parent’s place at like 11:30. when we got back we figured out arrangements to get to the train station since selin was taking the train back to maastricht too. they were so nice and her mom drove me to the train station at like 6am! and her mom packed me snacks for the journey and also made me breakfast ugh it was the cutest :)) but ya that’s it for frankfurt! took the train back to berlin and just hung out because everyone else was getting back from munich.

i genuinely don’t remember what i did during the week lol.

the next weekend... so stammtisch on thursday. went to this bar in mitte and it was alright.. it was super crowded because a like alumni group was also having an event there so it was really hard to order drinks. but somehow was able to order two gin n tonics and a beer lol so i got pretty drunk. the rest of the group wanted to go home early but me and jessy stayed back and hung out. then we just went home a couple hours later, got doner, i ate a piece of my fork lol and then went to my room. then on friday... oh we had the stasi prison tour in the morning. that was alright, just sucked because we couldn’t understand our tour guide. after we went to get schnitzel!!! so good!!!! i got this chili cheese one and it was amazing. its like right near the east side gallery. after we did a lil shopping in this neighborhood that i don’t remember the name of. so yeah we just strolled around, i bought this sweater hoodie drug rug thing that im wearing right now actually ahah. then we all went back, chilled a little, then met up again to cook and eat dinner together. we made some pasta, it was pretty gooood. then we got ready to go out. we ended up going to this club that david wanted to go to, something like ritt burtz or something haha it was in kreuzburg.  yeah it was sick! we were nervous we wouldn’t get in so we split into pairs and were silent in line lol and grant went in front of me and the bouncer checked his ID and said he wasn’t old enough so i freaked out and pulled out jayne’s ID but turned out all okay and we all got in ahaha. i ordered a beer then just started vibing alllll night ahaha. chandler left super early, then zach left, then i decided to leave at 3 and go get burgermeister by myself lol. finally got home at 5. passed out.

next morning i wake up and eat my burgermeister leftovers lol then get ready and find out where to pregame for the hertha soccer game!!! messaged matt, he told me a room to meet at, chris’s room. met chris, diane, and madeleine! all super cool and all from BC haha. but yeah we pregamed doing power hour, then we all headed to the game. the girls left first so that we could get more drinks on the way lol. diane and i got a redbull and a tiny bottle of jagermiester lol so we did a jagerbomb on the ubahn platform. then we met up with the guys on the train and headed over. on the way, diane had to pee really really badly so we got off on a random stop and ran around trying to find a bathroom but we couldnt find one we went into this random forest and she popped a squat hahaha. oh i forgot to mention that the night before i peed for the first time in public on the way to the club!!! lolol. anyways we got back on the train and went to the game. we were running late so we ran to find our seats. got there, sat down, watched the game. it was insane! we ended up being in the dortmund section so that was interesting, but there were like specific fan sections and those were crazy. so much yelling and cheering and jumping and flag waving haha. also got a liter of beer and currywurst which was dankkkkk. just realized madeleine never paid me back LOL oh well. anyways, watched the game until the end, then left. we all went to this irish pub in friedrichstr. they had dank nachos. i didnt drink bc i felt like i was gonna die haha. then headed back to the apts with diane and jonathan. went down to meet zach’s twin brother and their friends who were in town. caught up about what had happened the night before lol. then just went to bed!

the next day was sunday, study day for midterms ahha. in the morning we all went to schaffer’s and got brunch. then studied a little. after a couple hours we went back to the apts and i just napped and stuff. then me jessy and chandler decided to go downstairs to the lobby and study. yup that was it!

the week was just midterms. had on monday, two wednesday and one thursday. they all went okay i think haha. on tuesday i explored kreuzburg though! went to ramen with jonathan (soooo good, def going back), then we found this cafe and studied there. he left early bc he had a midterm that day but i stayed until like 6. got home sick from the studying :( then just went home, randomly ran into rae and jessy at ksp! went home, cooked dinner, studied more. took the two on wednesday, then the one thrusday morning, then flew out right after to amsterdam! i ended my german midterm pretty early though so i had time to kill and found this cool cafe where i was meeting david. read for a few hours then headed to the airport!

god this is already SO LONG but i still have this weekend to talk about LOL will do in another post