#so we could have Dogstar

[t4r0tc4rdz]

@razmerry THE DOG STAR?????

[barrenclan]

HI! Just binged through most of your comic and HOLY SHIT! It's been amazing, I love the depth of the writing, your art is amazing as usual (love your Dogstar comic as well, greetings from instagram❤️) and all the worldbuilding.

I did want to ask out of curiosity, did you ever decide what were the herbs in Egret's hrt mystery mix and does she still have to take them occasionally or was it a one time dose thing? If not I do accept the "it's a mystery mix" answer as well since neither of us are a biochemist and that shit's hard to research 😅

Thank you! I'm glad you like my comics. :]

I never settled on specific plants or chemicals for the "HRT mix". Here's what I imagined; Egrettail describes what this mixture did for her in the below quote.

She took them repeatedly for awhile, it wasn't just a one-time dose, but she doesn't have to take them anymore. This is all already a bit fantastical, so I can push the science, but essentially this was only a pheremonal change by way of hormones; cats have very low sexual dimorphism, so there wasn't much physically that would have been feasible to change for her. After a while of taking this treatment, her body would have acclimtized to the supplemental hormones and begun to naturally produce them. Because a cat's scent is sort of like its "signature", you can imagine the human equivalent as her voice changing pitch.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating; hormones exist in almost every multicellular organism that has a body big enough to circulate them; they're just specialized messengers that carry specific chemical information. Hormones in plants are not the same as hormones in humans, or cats, but they do bear analogous structures (which is how we study and reproduce them for our own treatments!). This aspect of the story is based on real science but totally not something a cat could reproduce, obviously. I'm no true biochemist, but I have taken and passed university-level Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry (what a bitch of classes those were) and I work in a biomedical lab, so I know the basics.

[korn-official]

The Kerrang! Challenge starring Jonathan Davis & Munky!

This weeks contestants are:

Name: Jonathan Davis and James 'Munky' Shaffer

Occupation: Tortured singer and guitar-mangler & Kerrang! stage headliners, KORN!

Specialist Subject: Clowns, blindness, and obscenities.

**

1. What is BSE most commonly known as?

James: "is it a European thing? Oh great."

Jonathan: "Mad Cow's Disease?"

James: "Yessss!!!! Good guess, man!”

Jonathan: "I'm a vegetarian now, and BSE was one of the reasons I stopped eating meat. It freaks me out. I don't want my fucking brains running out my nose."

2.On entering the EEC, how many cigarrettes can you bring with you?

Jonathan: "Oh, man, What the fuck is it? Three?"

James: "Remember being on the boat at Dover, and there were all these guys with cartons? I'm gonna say 30 cartons."

Jonathan: "We'll say five cartons."

Kerrang!: "It's 'chokey' for you, then."

3.How many installments of "Childern of the Corn" have there been?

Jonathan: "Three. The first one's the dopest, the second one was kind of cheesy, and the third one I didn't see. Bet it sucks."

4. Who won the Euro 96 competition?

James: "Nobody in the band's into sports"

Jonathan: "What is Euro 96?"

James: "Just pick one."

Jonathan: "Norway."

5.name Slayer's second album.

James: "There was Reign in Blood, then ...."

Jonathan: "Seasons in the Abyss, maybe.."

James: "We'll say South of Heaven"

Kerrang!: "It was Hell Awaits.”

(The duo scream with the embarrassment of it all.)

Jonathan: "Fuck, I knew that song. Play it backwards and it goes, "Join Us", I liked it."

James: "Sicko.”

6. Name Keanu Reeve's rock band.

James: "I saw them on The David Letterman Show.”

Jonathan: "Er, we’re gonna suck…”

Kerrang!: "not as badly as Dogstar."

7. Who plays Quentin Tarantino's brother in From Dusk Till Dawn?

Jonathan: "Haven't seen it. Bruce Willis?"

James: "Boris Karloff."

8. What was the first single from Bon Jovi's keep the faith album?

James: "Keep the faith, that was it. Oh fuckk, I should have got that wrong. Oh no..."

Jonathan: "You fucking rocker!”

9. What is maize more commonly known as?

Jonathan: "Corn, we use Maize as a dummy name when we do warm-up shows."

10. As a result of losing her royal title, how much money has princess Diana been given?

Jonathan: "Was it 43 million pounds?"

Kerrang!: "No, she's not that important."

Jonathan: "I heard a story that when Diana and Prince Charles went anywhere, people had to build a toilet. Then the toilet seat got sent back to the Royal Family, so no one could ever sit on it. The whole monarchy's fucked."

11. Who directed the Italian horror film "tenebrae"?

Jonathan: "Oh, Fellini?

Kerrang!: "No."

Jonathan: "Fellini is the only italian director we know."

12. What is 15 percent of 400?

James: "Oh, man, mathematics."

Jonathan: "Okay, 10 percent will be 40 bucks, is it 45?"

13. What colour is London's Central tube line?

James: "Lime green.“

Jonathan: "I wasn't down there. so I can't tell you. We suck. How many have we got - two?"

14. Which band's second album is named "Ignition"?

James: "Ah, Offspring."

Jonathan: "They're from Huntington Beach, where we started the band. They're cool, but I'm not into that music at all. Noodles is a really nice guy, although he seems to be full of himself."

15. Who played the photo-journalist in "Apocalypse Now"?

Jonathan: "Dennis Hopper. He is in my favourite movie, 'Blue Velvet'. I wish I could live 'Blue Velvet'."

16. Whereabouts would you find the human tragus?

Jonathan: "That's a hard one…I'd say the face. Fuck, it's the head. Is it a bone? The ear. Morturary College comes in handy again."

17. Which rap band sampled a riff from Slayer's Angel of Death?

James: "Public Enemy, 'She Watch Channel Zero?!'. When we were 18, we used to play that in the recording studio."

18. Name the four horeseman of the apocalypse.

James: "Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper"

Jonathan: "There's the white horse, the brown one..."

19. Which comedian recorded a live album and vidoe called 'no cure for cancer'?

James: "Denis Leary. He's raw, man. He's hosting a new comedy over here, called 'London Underground' or something.”

20. What are the ingredients of a good bloody mary?

James: “Vodka, tomato juice, celery, tabasco, and a dash of pepper."

Jonathan: "Worcester sauce and maybe some long green beans. They're great for a hangover, and on a plane too. I don't know why, but God they're good."

21. What do the opposite sides of a dice total?

Jonathan: "Seven, I know that from shootin craps."

Kerrang!: "Isn't that a tad messy? Boom ching, I thank you."

22. Spell the word enema.

Jonathan: "E-N...There's a 'Y' in it. fuck it. E-N-Y-M-A."

23. if a Londoner said that they were going to "up the apples and pears", what would they mean they are doing?

Jonathan: "Fucking— drinking? We have no clue.“

Kerrang!: "Up the stairs."

Jonathan: "Okay, I've gotta remember that. 'I'm going up the apples and pears, man.'"

24. How many centimeters are there in a foot?

James: "A hundred?"

25. Which is the correct saying: the yolk of an egg is white, or the yolk of an egg are white?

Jonathan: "The yolk of an egg is white, no?"

Kerrang!: "It's yellow.”

James: "Oh, man. that's like 'which is heavier, a pound of rocks or a pound of feathers?'. That is cool."

[keanuquotes]

As Keanu confirms — it started with “Lust,” the title of the seventh song on Dogstar’s Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees (releasing October 6), and the first they wrote for the new album. He flashes pages from his spiral-bound notebook, symbols, words, and letters that look more like sanskrit. “The guys call it my hieroglyphics,” he says, of his coded method of keeping track while they’re building a song.

“Sunrise,” the album’s eventual ninth track, came second, and this may be the theme of the whole album, as well as Dogstar’s official return to the music scene after 20 years: warm, bright, hopeful with a heavy dose of pull-at-your-heartstrings nostalgia, as only an authentically alt-rock ‘90s band can do. While internationally their names might not carry the same recognition, within the band, they are the sum of three equally vivid parts: singer-guitarist Bret Domrose, bassist Keanu Reeves, and drummer Robert Mailhouse. It’s this triality that sparks reference to that ancient Greek philosopher who proclaimed the number three the best of all numbers — and the most harmonious.

“I guess it's just who we are. Hey, we're warm people,” Bret jokes with a laugh, and though the ease and deep friendship these three share speaks for itself, the overall grungy-summery sound was actually the overall endgame. Robert credits producer Dave Trumfio for bringing “beautiful, layered, lush, warm tones in combination with what we came up with ourselves.”

“We specifically looked for a vintage Neve mixing console because we wanted that warm, fat '70s sound,” Bret adds, explaining the band’s process of choosing studios based on gear. “Lyrically, I try to keep hope as an undercurrent. Musically…if we go to a dark spot or something, we don't spend too much time there.

“That's just the way we craft songs…with some hope.”

No need to call the new album a comeback. They’ve been plenty busy over the last two decades, keeping in touch and even playing together, as friends — who also happen to be bandmates — do. On this mid-September afternoon, they’re just now back on their Southern California home turf after two shows in Yokohama and Osaka. Ironically, as Bret recalls, it was in Japan where they had their “last” show in 2003, after which they decided to pause. “We came back [from Japan in 2003] and it was just one of those things where we just took a break and then everyone went their own way, different musically, and just expanded and tried different things,” Bret explains. “We always stayed together and we were always friends.”

Time passed and lots changed, namely the industry, and the strengthened climate of artists’ creative control. This time, the guys were determined to be in charge.

“There was just such a machinery that we didn't have to contend with this time,” Bret says, describing the process of creating the new album as a fresh experience. “There was just so much garbage back in the day that now, this time around, we realized, ‘Wow. We could be in charge of this thing. We don't need a record company right now. We can do this all ourselves and we can even release it ourselves, and the music will get heard.’”

This time, Dogstar would focus on the music they wanted to create. “If you're an artist, you're sculpting or painting, you're going to start a new project, you never go, ‘This painting has to be a hit,’” Robert says. “I think all those years that passed really helped in a way because when we got back together, that's exactly what happened. We got into a room and we made sounds, and we started building music without thinking anything other than pleasing ourselves.”

They all agreed: At this stage, they were going to start with songs they liked. They’d create music for themselves. Robert remembers Keanu’s let’s-see-what-happens attitude as a “refreshing” start.

“Roast the chicken and see if it burns,” Bret says with a laugh.

“It's this kind of step-by-step approach…” Robert recalls. “It was like a tasting kitchen...let's try the bouillabaisse.”

“Then at the end, we opened a restaurant,” Bret smiles, carrying the joke.

Keanu leans forward, for emphasis, proclaiming: “Rock ‘n roll!”

“You’ve got the lights…you got the waft of cigarette smoke coming in the back door…it was old-school good times,” Bret says of their July show at The Roxy, “a good, old Hollywood, Sunset Boulevard rock night…you look out five rows into the audience and there’s Steven Tyler dancing. You got that going.”

Their DIY/anti-corporate/non-conformist attitude from the beginning should give a hearty glimpse into why these guys create music. Good. Old Hollywood. Sunset Boulevard. Rock night. That’s Dogstar, in sum, not simply because they were formed in Los Angeles, but because their reputation as a kick-ass live band is eternally fixed, their garage-band inception firmly rooted in their souls and sound.

Keanu agrees that a true garage band is a state of mind. Or heart. “Because we get together and we fucking play music and we start to jam and we start to just play.”

“It’s that same energy, for sure,” Bret agrees. “It's that same energy that you have when you're a kid…when you're starting out and you're doing it for all the right reasons. You don't care if your ears are ringing at the end of the day because you're in too small of a space, your amp is too loud, or whatever it is. All that not caring, that's what makes a good record, I think. That's what makes a cohesion between the band members, too.”

“I think we're a marriage of that,” Keanu says. “Now we're a marriage or an integration of that garage band with caring and trying to keep that spirit of that, but take in our experiences and how we want to care about our music and it works.”

Bret starts: “Yes, I think over the years, we've learned to file off the rough edges a bit and how to use the equipment properly and how to—“

“We're pro now,” Keanu quips, and the guys erupt in laughter.

“We're a pro garage band now!” Bret says.

“The pro garage band,” Keanu says. Everyone is still laughing.

“Thanks to Rob, we have a nicer garage,” Bret says.

From their initial jam sessions up to the actual recording, they’ve managed to preserve that authentically stripped-down “pro garage band” sound on Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees. In a world of filters and special effects, they’ve chosen a more honest, old-school route. “Hit songs” are amongst the many words they never mention. “Chart success,” “singles,” and “algorithm” are a few notable others that never come up. That means that the undeniably happy alt-pop riffs on “Everything Turns Around,” as well as the strummy, Manchester-movement-eque “Upside” were unintentional, undeniable (sorry, guys, but someone has to say it) ready-made commercial hits.

And no, not every song sounds like this, that wouldn’t make sense for an album-journey album. “Glimmer” — a moody, swelling alt-serenade — is and should be a live-show staple, its crowd at the ready to sing and sway along with thumb-operated, gas-station-purchased flame lighters.

All that said, the album refreshingly lacks predictability. Take the Eastern-influence break on “Lust,” for instance. “You could hear a sitar…out of nowhere,” Robert says, delightedly, recalling Dogstar’s 1999 performance at the Zee Cine Awards in Mumbai, followed by a “drum-off” on the hotel rooftop, as “the most surreal moment of our lives.” No matter how surreal, there’s no doubt some shred of the experience can be heard on “Lust,” a little over a minute in.

Bret recalls the Eastern-influenced break came out of one of their jam sessions. Keanu looks at his “hieroglyphics” treatise to recount the process, like an ancient scholar: “We have here…we go to Rob's house, there's a verse, and then we go, a disco funk, all-star jam. Then I crossed out “funk,” and then it went to the High A, and then we have the Indian [break] put in there. That's, I guess, where Bret started to go into the Indian influence of holding that A and the tension there…”

Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees ends with “Breach,” an unapologetic grinder — to use Bret’s words — “a punctuation mark” at the end of this here-comes-the-sun album journey. This is not the hearts-and-flowers sendoff. It’s more of the wake-the-fuck-up-people sendoff. As Robert says, “we digged in a little harder.” Bret explains that they intentionally ended this journey — the album journey — this way.

“It’s a bit of fun cold water,” Keanu says. “It’s a cliffhanger.”

“This genre, it's a lost thing. If you listen to the radio, things are so different now,” Robert says, describing Dogstar as “just three guys playing their instruments…it's not that complicated…it's not the mainstream anymore like it used to be.”

Through the decades, and after all they’ve been through, they’re idealistic. And you can feel it on the album – raw human emotion, the same that inspired them in their early years. “You can't trick people into believing you,” Bret says, after a passionate citing of some of his most influential musical imprints: Hüsker Dü, the Clash, Elton John.

Honest and inspired, Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees fully reflects these three guys, the stories of their lives over the last three decades, and exactly who they are.

“Rock is what keeps you young,” Bret says. “30 years times three guys' lives…that's 90 years of living. That's a lot of shit that could happen, that did happen. It ain't all good and it ain't all bad, but it's all in these songs. It sounds hippie-dippy corny, but there's a little bit of every year of our lives in these songs, I think. In that sense, [it’s] a mature endeavor.”

“This is who we are now,” Keanu says. “We're all over 50. I think to what Robert was saying…the influences that we have are coming through us into how we interpret, but also what we create in the moment. I think that's individually and collectively…that's what Dogstar is. It's like all of these personal things and then us collectively coming out with this music that would not happen if it wasn't the three of us.

“Individually, none of us would write a Dogstar song, but collectively, with who we are as artists and who we are, when we all come together and start to make music together…the sum of the parts is Dogstar.”

[ackackh]

well this maybe a little excessive but 🍊 🍋 🍈 🫐 🍇, if you will!

Thank you for the ask, anon! This is too long and I don’t regret it! 💕

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

There. Are. So. Many. The first character who came to mind tho is Doc Bryan. I wrote 5k words of a fic forever ago from his POV and I loved working in that space but I also find his voice really hard to pin down. One day I will finish it and you’ll get to read all about how when you’re sad it helps to fuck a friend. (Ray)

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

MMMM this is a hard one because I feel like I’m still finding my voice in this area. Uh I do love writing a first-time scene tho. And first time bottoming? Yes pls. Literally it’s in both the aforementioned Doc fic (Ray) and in DOGSTAR. (Andy) I feel like the general consensus in the fandom is that Eddie bottoms, which I also like, but I’m really into the idea of Andy specifically needing to let someone take care of him. Eddie is happy to help.

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Ray, my truest blorbo, I have put him in Blender as a 3D model and am rotating him as we speak. Of course I love the motor-mouthing, but my favorite thing about him is that he’s so fucking intelligent underneath that. Like the most perceptive motherfucker. In God Is a Bluegill, he is constantly noticing EVERYTHING, especially how other people are feeling, and that 100% informs his behavior. Boy is a sponge. And his mania is either a medication for himself or for others and either way, I do think it’s genuine, I just think he also uses it as a social tool.

Also, if I’m writing BradRay, I love to make him quietly suffer. Little queer guy from Missouri, he’s internalized the idea that he doesn’t get to have what he wants, so he doesn’t even try to attain it. So while Brad is either pining after someone else, or hung up on his ex, Ray is like, ‘I’m gonna be the best friend, I’ll be whatever you need.’ And it’s BAD FOR HIM. There are similar things going on in the Doc fic as well, Ray wanting to do whatever he can to hold his friends together, likely at his own personal risk.

Damn, I need to finish that Brad-gets-dumped-during-OIF fic.

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

I’m pretty pleased with what the HBOWar fandom has to offer, we have so many talented writers who have lots of different ideas, so it’s hard to think of what I’m missing. I’d love to see more Doc Bryan POV, obviously I’m currently thinking on him a lot.

Here’s something I’ve wanted to write about because I love projecting and you can’t stop me: gimme transmasc Ray. I need a fic where his mania, his bravado, his insight into others are all things he’s developed to protect himself throughout his life. Like, I get we’d have to write around a lot of stuff with the Marines, but trans soldiers, at the very least, did/do exist in Middle East deployments, so I feel like we could suspend our disbelief a lil bit. Also foaming at the mouth for an E rated fic featuring this. For reasons. Ahem 😅

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Not to be on my AndyEddie bullshit again, but I could write over and over again about Andy and the day Eddie died. I’m visiting it way too much in DOGSTAR. But in my defense, I’m focusing a lot more on trauma in this version and in a world in which either survived, I think Eddie getting hit on the ridge would have fundamentally changed Andy. Especially, as is the case in this fic, if Andy believed Eddie was dead and not just wounded.

[sophia-sol]

some of my favourite vids

lirazel expressed interest in a rec list of some of my favourite vids and I am very suggestible when it comes to rec lists so here you go! :D Unfortunately a few of the older vids that I remember fondly are no longer available online for me to share with you (the batman vid set to johnny cash's cover of hurt! the highlander vid about methos/lord byron! and more!), but there are still plenty of excellent vids up and about, and new ones worth watching keep being made!

Yes this rec list is 22 vids long, shush, I couldn't cut any of these out. I just got so emotional in the process of making this rec list at how wonderful an artform the fanvid is! It can do so many different things! It can be so powerful in such a brief space of time!

I've ordered the list below alphabetically by fandom. I go through a lot of different fandoms here!

And it was so fun too to work on practicing my skills at describing a vid and explaining what's good about it; I have many years of practice at talking about written narratives, but interpreting and talking about visual media is still a skillset that I'm not instinctively good at and don't have as much experience with. But I think I did pretty good with these vids. I hope you enjoy them!

(put behind a readmore to keep this post from being overwhelmingly long on your dash!)

1. Problem, by talitha78 Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky/Steve Look I may be totally burnt out on the MCU at this point but damn did CA:TWS have some good fanworks. This is a vid that is gleefully and wholeheartedly throwing itself into depicting Bucky through the lens of of this natalia kills song with a straight face. I still sometimes find myself singing "girl is a problem" to myself about things, because of this vid.

2. All In Together, by odessie The Great British Bake-Off, ensemble This vid encapsulates the spirit of the show (…at least, the show when it was a BBC show, before it moved to Channel 4), which is about everybody being weird, dedicated, enthusiastic, imperfect, and all in it together despite it being ostensibly a competition. "Celebrate your oddities, your art, your own insanity." YEAH. It's so cheering!

3. All We Got, by anoel The Great Gatsby, Daisy/Gatsby One of those where I've read the book but not seen the adaptation, but I feel like watching this vid gives me everything I need from seeing an adaptation of the story! Sharply edited use of the beautiful visuals; really creates the necessary feeling of high energy glitz papering over emptiness, which the book honestly doesn't do a good enough job at lol.

4. Show Me Your Teeth, by Dogstar Hieronymous Bosch's artwork, all of Bosch's weird little guys It's strange, a bit surreal, energetic. My immediate reaction when I first saw this vid was "wtf in the best way." I'm so impressed with how the vidder could make such a compelling vid out of static artwork!

5. God's Gonna Cut You Down, by sholio Highlander, Methos & Cassandra & the horsemen There were so many excellent highlander fanvids back in the day but this is one of the ones that has really stuck with me, with its perfect encapsulation of the complexities of the relationships in the "Comes a Horseman" and "Revelations 6:8" pair of episodes, paired with exactly the right song.

6. In Which Sophie Expresses Her Feelings In The Absence Of Weedkiller, by ryfkah Howl's Moving Castle, Howl/Sophie The vidder took on the challenge of using the movie's footage to make a vid about the book's version of the story, and did an incredible job! I adore this vid and how perfectly it captures Sophie and Howl and their relationship.

7. A Tune Like the End of the World, by frith_in_thorns Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, John Childermass Although I haven't seen the tv show, I have read the book it's based on a LOT, so I can more or less figure out which character is who in the visuals from context, lol. I love how good this vid is at getting the atmosphere of the story right; the atmosphere is such an important part of it!

8. Work This Body, by CherryIce Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, ensemble Just really encapsulates the sense of joy and fun that the movie is all about! I don't know what else to say about it, other than that I have rewatched this vid a ridiculous number of times and it keeps being fun. (Unfortunately the streaming version is no longer available, but it's still up for download!)

9. Let's Go (Young Men Dead), by sweetestdrain Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence The vid that got me to finally watch the movie, and discover how the movie, despite the various critiques it's worthwhile to make of it, is a really brilliant work of art. And the vid, too, is a brilliant work of art! SO many feelings. It's got the vibes just right, of this enormous, larger-than-life story and the relentless grinding-down of everyone involved, the inevitable despairing end to everything. The way it uses juxtaposition and empty spaces! I get emotional rewatching the vid even now, 8 years after watching the movie.

10. Parachute, by thingswithwings Leverage, Eliot/Hardison/Parker I may not have ever seen the show but I've read enough fanfic to be fully on board for this ot3, and this vid depicts them in the BEST way, the way they love and trust and like and rely on each other, and the joy they have in each other! And it does a beautiful job of highlighting each of the three sides of the triangle as well as the three of them all together, too.

11. Under Pressure, by violace The Martian, ensemble It's a vid about the way so many people come together to save Mark Watney: working together, hoping together, caring together, celebrating together. Still able to touch my cynical little heart in these days of looking at the world around me in despair. Humans WANT to help each other!

12. Landsailor, by raven multifandom, ensembles The vidder describes this vid as an "ode to infrastructure" and that's like. what it is! It's about people coming together to do the hard work of building something bigger than any one of them, and it's so joyful and inspiring, tbh! I am familiar with very few of the fandoms it includes but you don't need to know them to get the gist, to follow the story being told.

13. Oh No!!! by findmeinthealps Nirvana in Fire, Prince Yu Prince Yu has a very bad time in Nirvana in Fire and I love to see it, beautifully framed from his point of view in this vid. Yes I grinned all the way through it. Sorry Prince Yu!! (not sorry.)

14. At Last, by eruthros Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat/food The canon is a delightful 4-episode cooking show. This vid of it is set to the most schmaltzy of old-school love songs, and it is about how much JOY both good food and good friends bring, featuring many loving shots of food plus Samin Nosrat's expressive face, and I just melt into feelings.

15. Soccer Practice, by bironic Stargate: SGA, John/Ronon A silly, delightful vid about sexual innuendo between two bros. Serious and emotional fanvids are so good but sometimes it's great to just lol.

16. Tik Tok, by MissSheenie Star Trek: TOS, ensemble It's a classic for a reason. How could I not include it? As I recall, even Kesha agrees that this vid understands her song.

17. dirty work, by voordeel-ts Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi This vidder is one of the only ones I've seen who can include pieces of the original audio into a vid in a way that actually works for me, the audio incorporated into the music in rhythm so that it all feels of one piece. Their vids are always fast and stylish, and this one is no exception, as it takes a look at Obi-Wan and his use of violence.

18. Start a War, by ifshehadwings (sophie_448) The Untamed, Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao do a lot of their worst stuff behind the scenes, out of the view of the camera, and this vid does an amazing job of bringing that forward and making it legible, focusing on the horrible things each of them do in the name of fulfilling their goals. This is also an excellent example of a vid that uses a slow song and relatively slow cuts and yet never loses its intensity and forward momentum. Hats off!

19. a love that won't sit still, by Aria The Untamed, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Just the perfect vid of wangxian from Lan Wangji's perspective? holy shit. What DO you do with a love that won't sit still or do what it's told?! And I love the way it incorporates the pain and difficulties of Wei Wuxian's death and the years without him, leading into that last quieter gentler repeat of the chorus that slowly builds back up again.

20. Lose My Breath, by deirdre_c White Nights, Kolya/Ray Sooooo I've never actually seen White Nights BUT. This vid is such a beautiful encapsulation of a relationship between two men being told through the medium of dance. And the way all the dancing and other physicality in the video is made to feel like it belongs with the vid's song is just so seamless! The way the whole thing just feels so grounded in their bodies and the way that the two of them play off each other! I could watch it forever.

21. Such A Loser, by sandalwoodbox Yuri!!! On Ice, ensemble The show made me care so much about all the skaters, and want all of them to win, which of course is impossible. But this vid uses a joke song from a parody music duo to somehow perfectly encapsulate the way that all the characters' striving is worth celebrating, whether they win or not. Super heartwarming!

22. Never Look Away, by helcinda Yuri on Ice, Viktor/Yuuri Wow, the experience of watching this ship vid is just me making a heart-eyes face at my computer screen the whole time. Highly recommend the experience!

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG006, Squirm

Case #0140912, Timothy Hodge Release date: April 4, 2016 First listen: 14th October. The latter half of the walk to work. I’ve got vague memories of pulling some horrified faces as I passed over the canal bridge.

I was forewarned of MAG006. I was advised to proceed with caution. Oh boysies… Yikes. Just yikes.

- ‘Regarding his sexual encounter.’ wretch… On the one hand, I appreciate Jonny’s word choice here to try and be as clinical as possible, but on the other it is feels so dehumanising to Harriet, just so many not good feelings about this. Especially when delivered in The Archivist’s dry tones.

- I may be imagining it, but that sentence feels a little more leaden than his previous introductions. I remember my stomach dropping at the synopsis. I don’t need to listen to every true crime podcast or watch every ‘the making of a killer’ style documentary out there, to know there is a pattern and a trend. But that’s a fury for a different day.

- I remember taking an almost immediate dislike to the statement giver. It may have been coloured by what had been alluded was to come, but I did not care for the combination of an air of self importance about his work and a life outside it that seemed to exclusively be drinking and clubbing. I apologise, that sounds judgemental and I know that is a form of relaxation that many people rely on even if it is one I’d never choose, it’s only the combination of that, the work ethic and this man. It doesn’t seem sustainable and I think it frightens me, I think were it to have continued it may have fallen apart another way, not quite as violently but maybe not.

- Also, I did not care for his tone when he talked about missing ‘the regular weekend’, like he resented it. There are so many careers and lines of work that don’t have ‘the regular weekend’. I’ve not had a role with a ‘regular weekend’ since 2013. People have it so much harder. Urgh, I don’t like him.

- Looked up the Dogstar in Brixton. Wasn’t quiet what I was expecting. Looks a little more like something you’d find The Mechanisms in rather than a club night, at least in the day light. Although, yes, they do advertise a club night on Thursdays.

- ‘Now, I wasn’t particularly looking to get laid that night, but I know I’m not an unattractive guy and I live local, so I’m always alert, shall we say-’ WRETCH, ugh God, nope. Rancid vibes and the The Corruption hasn’t even shown up yet.

- ‘Exactly the sort of girl I go for.’ Just the way he talks makes me so mad, I don’t understand. I don’t know what it is, anyone else could be using these phrases and yeah, I’d curl a lip maybe, but this guy has me wanting to shower in lye. What is this?! I hate it!

- ‘Writhe’ flailing around as if trying to swat bugs of myself

- ’looked less like a smile of anticipation and more like a smile of relief’ OK, gonna come clean here, I’m somewhere on the aroace spectrum, still working it out, but even with my frame of reference, if I’d noticed that and thought that on a perspective partner, I’d be pumping the breaks so hard and having a conversation in a well lit room, ideally with other people present.

- Asking for water, seemingly oblivious to the cold weather, scratching at herself… yeah, something’s metamorphosing in there…

- ‘She hadn’t been in London long, she said was originally from Salisbury and had been finding it difficult recently.’ Jonny discusses in the Q&As that a lot of The Corruption stems from needing a sense of belonging and being part of a greater whole. I could see how someone up rooting themselves from Salisbury, a medieval cathedral city in the Wiltshire countryside, to move to London could leave them scrambling, making them easy pickings for either The Lonely, if they let the isolation consume them, or The Corruption, if the drive for connections did.

- Salisbury, lovely place, sang in the cathedral a little over a decade ago, stone’s throw from Stonehenge if you needed a reference point.

- If nothing else, this podcast review is making me see how freaking fortunate and privileged I’ve been to visit so many places.

- The ‘mugging’ and the encounter with Jane Prentiss. The red dress ‘going very still’.

- ‘Wide staring eyes’, so at this stage, Prentiss, ugh God, still had eyes. This encounter took place over a year before the current time, so Prentiss has spent over a year as The Flesh Hive. Over a year, 20th November 2014 to 12th March 2016, between her assault on Harriet Lee and Martin escaping his flat she’d trapped him in.

- ‘Pain in her stomach’ Aaaaaaand all my worse fears from the parasitology module rear their heads ONCE AGAIN! We could be drawing on so many examples here; Alien, all the kinking oviposition stuff that’s out there, don’t think I don’t know about that shit. Just puts me in mind of parasitoid wasps.

- ‘Nothing obvious and to make an appointment with her doctor’ when Harriet went to the hospital. And once again, I am so grateful to work giving us little cards to take to medical appointments which basically boil down to ‘could it be any thing on this list of zoonotic diseases that otherwise would not even cross your mind?’

- I’ve looked at the map again. A direct route from Archway to Brixton takes you 8 miles across the city and across the river. 3 days of wandering.

- ‘(She) crying and I felt like a complete asshole for having brought the issue up.’ Nope, wrong, try again.

- ‘I know, I know, she was vulnerable and I feel like an a… But I swear I wasn’t trying to take advantage.’ SCREAMING, THROWING THINGS, BAYING FOR BLOOD. EVEN IF SHE WAS SAYING YES AND CONSENTING, IT WAS CLEAR THAT THERE WERE EXTERNAL FACTORS THAT MEANT SHE WAS MOST LIKELY NOT IN A MENTALLY STABLE STATE TO BE MAKING THESE DECISIONS, AND EVEN IF SHE WAS, YOU FELT AWARE THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO.

- I am just grateful that we didn’t receive a description of either the sex nor the, erm, chrysalis breaking. But I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes having only the audio just lets your visual imagination run riot.

- ‘but something inside made me think that I didn’t want a good look inside that room’. That part of the human brain fascinates and terrifies me. That little voice, still there after millennia and impossibly from a time before we had language as we know it today, saying ‘no’. Some small, shaking animal part of our psyche that keeps us alive with fear. Fear keeping us alive, keeping us fighting, even if that means running with all we have.

- ‘Kill it with fire!’ is always a good instinct to have, but it feels to me that The Desolation sweeps in to play protector in this moment. The very moment the potential of Timothy Hodge’s life was lost, between the loss of his home, the investigation and the trauma.

- ‘This story is concerning. Not because of Mr. Hodge’s experience, although I’m sure it was very upsetting. If it was true, of course.’ Archivist… I can almost hear the ‘there, there’ in your voice.

- Charred organic remains, not human, but source never determined... I fucking dread to think about where exactly the inhabitants of The Flesh Hive would fall on the phylogenetic tree… get wrecked Carl Linnaeus.

- Archivist, how many of these have you read if you are at the stage where you are saying the sentence ‘that’s not really what concerns me either, though obviously it’s a tragic loss of life, etcetera, etcetera.’? Go outside, touch some grass, please.

- So Jane Prentiss is known to the Magnus Institute, and known well enough that the Archivist alerted the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control, the ECDC. Although, a dark little part of me is looking at their tag line of ‘an agency of the European Union’, and wondering were exactly that leaves us, 2 years since Brexit.

- ‘We were unable to locate him to request a follow-up interview, and if he has had intercourse with one of Prentiss’ victims, then they’ll need to deal with him sooner rather than later. I just hope it’s not too late already.’… Archivist, it’s been over a year. If the man is lucky, then he’s dead.

- I think this statement could be seen as another tally against the idea of The Corruption finding an in through the search of love and unhealthy relationships. Timothy Hodge says he wasn’t looking for a relationship, regardless of what form it took, but his existence does seem to be an isolated one. Free lance work from home, no mention of collaborating colleagues or flat mates, any mention of friends was made in reference as to that they couldn’t join him, his scheduled isolating him further. He could have been a prime victim for The Lonely. But he wasn’t. He sought out humanity and connection, even if it was in the most anonymous ways; in dark clubs unable to learn faces, with loud music unable to hold conversations, with intoxication unable to remember or becoming something else under the effects. This mutation, this change, could be a chrysalis, could be infectious.

- And then I thought about how he spoke about Harriet in a predatory fashion, and then the parasitoid wasps were back in my head and there was penetration and nope, nope, don’t like this, Freud fuck off! Ew, ew, ew.

[starrsomebody]

MARS Fan Fiction

Speak it into existence and watch it manifest.

Jill raised $500k on her fundraising. She got the VIP platinum card for Jared Leto and 30 Seconds To Mars.

Jill went to the Cassville Airport and got on the waiting plane. After a 3 hour flight, she got to the Los Angeles airport where she was met by Jamie. She was brought to Jared Leto's house. Jared opened the door and gave her a hug. He showed her the room she would be in.

He gave her a tour of his house. It had beautiful art and the furnishings were neo modern. He had a climbing room with rock wall, meditation room, recording studio, large warehouse movie set, movie room, and car collection. There were Editors, Mars Shop, and Advertising rooms.

The next night there was to be a Cast Party. Jill needed a new dress and shoes for the party. So Shayla took Jill shopping and she found a perfect dress in lavender and sequins. She got matching shoes.

The rest of the day Jared and Jill went over the #spencergregmovie script. Jared gave her a laptop. She pulled the script up and made any changes that needed to be made. His staff had printed up 30 scripts for the cast and contracts.

That night was movie night and Jill finally got to see John Wick 4. There was a popcorn machine with a refrigerator with drinks and a candy box.

Jill and Jared talked about all kinds of things. They found out that they had a lot in common They had been texting each other for several months. The month was January. They felt they could make this movie in 31 days.

The next night was the Cast Party. The turnout was great. All 30 actors showed up. There was a buffet and open bar. They also had entertainment. The host was Jim Carrey. He did impressions and was very funny. Then Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. did two songs. Then Ivy Levan came on and did two songs. Then Vedder Gabriel and Too Loud band played two songs. Then Dogstar came on and did two songs. It was great to see Keanu Reeves on bass. Then Hollywood Vampires came on and it was great to see Johnny Depp on guitar.

Jill announced that the movie was to start shooting on Monday. It was a beautiful Saturday night. Then they played the soundtrack of the #spencergregmovie. The main theme song was Life Is Beautiful by 30 Seconds To Mars. She called off some names that would be in the first two days of filming. She announced that they would be making the movie in 31 days. That the Actors would get a call 2 days before they were to report to the Movie Studio. She announced that there was a table with scripts and contracts. The evening winded down and the Actors left.

"Thanks so much for doing my movie. You are making my dreams come true. " Jill said smiling.

"No problem. This is going to be a great movie." Jared said while grabbing his guitar and start playing some chords. He started singing Jill's lyrics.

"Wow, you made a great song with my lyrics." Jill said.

"We are going to Universal tomorrow." Jared said smiling.

"That sounds wonderful! Jill said smiling

There was a knock on the door and Jared answered it. It was Dogstar and Hollywood Vampires!

"Hello. We finally meet. We have been texting and now I get to meet you." Jill said hugging them.

"Jill, I'm Keanu and this is Johnny Depp. Here is Bret and Rob and Joe and Alice." Keanu smiled and gave Jill a hug.

"I loved your albums. I heard them on Spotify." Jill said taking pictures of them.

"We brought gifts! Here are our tshirts and cds that we signed." said Keanu.

Jill was thrilled and hugged them.

"We are going to Universal tomorrow if you want to go" Jared said.

"What do you think guys? Do you want to go to Universal tomorrow?" Keanu asked.

The guys made a huddle and talked about it

"Sure, we will go too. Thanks for asking us." Johnny said.

[thewarlockslsd]

Here’s a great example of a flyer back in the 90s. What’s so rad about this is that everything you need to know is IN the flyer. Long before cell phones. In era where you “just go” not call, text a million times, party and then the gig. OMG we’ve gotten so spoiled with our phones! There is a map and phone number! You usually reached a kind of punk rock hot line. They were essentially answering machines maxed out with all the underground shows going on that week. Minutes later it beeped and you could add your show. So RAD! So simple! Flyers like this were sprawled out at the front door area near the LA Weekly (which we all got religiously) at any number of coffee houses or record shops. These places were ALL over la and formed a web that connected everything together. In the modern age we don’t even have a ½ way decent “Rock Calendar” we can agree on. All the record shops had them in the zine section and instead of just glancing over with mind numbing distaste - you actually LOOKED for them. Possum Dixon got signed to WB. Rob Zebrecky is a huge magician these days not mention a wonderful person. Matts band Kryptonite Nixon was killer too like an adrenaline powered Sonic Youth. Dogstar was the band I played in, dual bass at AC/DC sized volume! It was awesome. We had to change our name to Charles Brown Superstar (link in bio) because Keanu Reeves was in a band with the same name! He was big star then, but the Matrix hadn’t come out yet so semi accessible in those days. You would see him at shows and stuff. I had a mutual friend at the time that was dating him and put me in touch. He called and explained that their band was featured in a book called “In the day and life of” thus having the name first. Everything that they say about the guy is true. He was super sweet, kind, sensitive -that was in 1994 (I was 20!). He sent me the book and I told him not to worry, we would change our name. We talked about guitar pedals mostly. He was really into them. He asked me what I liked, I explained that I loved Boss pedals because they worked and sounded huge (still use HM-2). We had a few more phone calls like this and then he hit the fame stratosphere &we never spoke again.BH https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck9hC_fPSmU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[blue-mood-blue]

Juno’s vision fizzes out right around where the man’s face should be.

He rubs his eye. The interference doesn’t go anywhere, and he sighs. He’s already tired - always is, lately - but this, at least, is not on him. Will the wonders of modern technology never end, he thinks, and there’s a ping at the back of his head of what is probably admonishment. I’m right, he thinks back, stubborn.

The man sits down at his table. Juno leans back; the shadow already obscures his features, but something about not seeing the expression on the face of his unexpected guest makes Juno want to sink farther into the darkness. He doesn’t like being looked at - call it paranoia, call it being shy, whatever. When you have one person in the world - another ping at the back of his head - one and a half people in the world, being generous, most people’s attention loses its appeal.

Juno waits. He doesn’t talk much, anymore. His voice is... uniquely recognizable.

The man is probably smiling; his tone sounds teasing, and that’s about all Juno can glean from the unnaturally stilted sound. Audio distortion, too - whoever this is, the chip in Juno’s neck is throwing a blanket over Juno’s head in an outdated and unneeded attempt at protection. He would get angry, or suspicious, or march over to his partner in crime with a scalpel and demand it out of him, damn the consequences... but he knows the feeling of that shadow in his head, now. The chip doesn’t know why this is happening.

“Do I have the good fortune of speaking to one of the pair people are calling ‘the new Buddy and Vespa’?” The man is tall and skinny, and folds himself into the seat across from Juno like it was left out for him. Juno feels one of his fists clench and hopes the scowl isn’t clear on his face, visible or otherwise.

He’d like to correct the man; he’s not trying to be anyone else. Juno doesn’t speak. His voice would be a dead giveaway.

“Not much for conversation, hm? That’s fine. We don’t have much to talk about.” The man leans closer. Juno guesses that the look directed at him now is one of quiet intimidation; he can’t say, since the features are blurring out like static on an ancient television screen. “You’re here for the Maxine Rutherford job. I’m here to tell you to drop it.”

Juno tenses, and the thief - because that’s what he must be, if he’s here to talk another thief out of a job - must pick up on it, because he chuckles. “It’s a big ask, I’m aware. There’s a pretty penny to be had - that experimental technology is worth an incredible amount of money on its own, and that’s not even touching what might be gained from selling her out to a competitor.” There’s something in the way the thief is sitting, the set of his shoulders - or maybe it’s just the chip in Juno’s neck, setting off urgent warning signals. This is a threat. “But I need you to understand something. Maxine Rutherford is mine. And you do not want to be in my way when I get to her.”

Juno pushes the panic button in his head, the one that will bring Jet running. And he’ll need to run, because Juno’s about to do something incredibly stupid.

“Not if I get to her first,” Juno says in two voices. The thief is still, and if he’s afraid, Juno doesn’t blame him. He remembers the way he felt, the first time he heard the Theia layered under his words.

~~~

The detour wasn’t part of Buddy Aurinko’s plan. Even calling it “on the way” would have been generous; the Carte Blanche should have passed it like it had a hundred other space stations, and it would have. It would have, except for the seven names Rita had been listening for ever since she left Hyperion.

“It doesn’t hafta mean anything,” she’d told Juno, holding her tablet to her chest and looking nervous. He remembers thinking it wasn’t her usual kind of nervous, with fretful energy and too much talking - she’d been holding onto the tablet like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to the ground. “Maybe it’s not even the same person, but. But I was doin’ some listening, you know, and a name came up, and.” Juno remembers thinking she looked almost sick, saying it out loud. “One of those names. And the soul.”

Juno doesn’t know what he thought he could do about it. He’d wanted to try, and when he and Rita went to Buddy, when he’d forced the bones of what happened in Hyperion from his throat and onto the kitchen table during a family meeting... they’d all wanted to try. Maybe that had been his mistake, Juno considers. He could have been quiet. He could have let it go.

It started with an infiltration. The Dogstar Space Station was small, relatively, but it was still the size of two major cities; finding Maxine Rutherford in the crowd would take some looking, with or without Rita’s ‘listening.’ Juno and Jet would go first, bumbling tourists who might, if they were lucky, stumble across a newly-acquired lab space. The idea was to uncover everything they could - location, security systems, layout, plans - and then get back to the ship to decide a next step. Juno packed for a short surface stay. He pulled the last Theia soul from where he’d stowed away in the back of a drawer and, after a long moment and with no clear reason, put it in his pocket. He squeezed Rita and whispered in her ear that he’d be okay when she had a hard time letting go. He kissed Nureyev and promised to call. He walked away and he didn’t look back.

Twenty-four hours later, the siege started.

That’s what the reporters on the hotel’s screen called it, while Juno and Jet sat on the edge of the couch and watched everything change. Some kind of hostile takeover, a grab for power or property or... something. The reporters didn’t know, and if the way they looked off-camera during their reports was any hint, there wouldn’t be time to find out.

If there are gaps in his memory after that, Juno thinks it can only be that he doesn’t want to remember. There’s him, running behind Jet through streets that are eerily quiet and terrifyingly loud by turns. Hiding, and running, and hiding - the thought that it’s a good goddamn chance Jet seems to know where he’s going because Juno is already lost, the shouting of soldiers behind them, the emblem on a ship Juno spends just a little too long looking at because something is wrong. The two of them finding a back entrance to the docks, using the chaos to cover them. The... wreck.

Juno will never forget the wreck.

They must have hit the docks first, is his first thought. It’s the last semblance of reason over the high, keening sound that’s enveloping the rest of his brain - they must have hit the docks first so no one could get out, they must have destroyed every waiting ship to keep the people of the Dogstar Space Station right where they were, because there is nothing but wreckage and broken parts.

Juno might have screamed. It might have been Jet. It might have been someone else, any voice out of hundreds speaking for all of them: loss, despair, desperation. It didn’t matter; the damage was done, and they were alone.

Jet held his hand. Weeks, months - however long they survived on the Dogstar after that, it was with Jet holding his hand and Juno clinging back. There were names they didn’t say for a long, long time but they held onto each other while the soldiers-who-weren’t-soldiers rounded up stragglers and led them to the government facilities that didn’t belong to any government Juno had ever heard of. They were lucky enough to have each other, but it didn’t feel like luck; it felt like borrowed time.

(He said he would call, and he did. He called, once, and he didn’t know what he expected - but he got no answer, and if he dropped his communicator the next time they ran, well, who was going to miss him?)

“I get it, if you hate me,” Juno said into the dark of the shelter they’d found, a hidden nook between big, steel beams of a bridge. “For her. For all of them.”

“I do not hate you, Juno.”

He didn’t know if that felt better or worse. “You should. You’re the only one left to feel anything about it, and they deserve -” He didn’t finish the thought. He didn’t need to; Jet knew already.

A relapse, Juno will call it later. Healing is not linear, not when the wounds are torn back open every other day or so, and these things happen. Sometimes there’s a stumbling block on the way to better. And Jet will look at him, ask him if he’s any closer now, and Juno will tell him “a day closer than yesterday.” Jet will nod, because that’s all Jet ever asks of him.

Survival became an exhausting thing. When Juno knew the streets of a couple of districts of Dogstar like the back of his hand, he felt like a rat in a maze, nudged back and forth along pre-determined paths by uniformed sentries and reinforced vehicles. Jet had the kind of patience a person worked for, and Juno could see him clinging to the shreds of it; just shreds, because the hope of patching it back into a serene whole was less likely with every hole the two of them were flushed out of. It had always been only a matter of time before they stood outside of the lab doors and asked each other if they were going to do what they came here for.

Maxine Rutherford was on Dogstar. Maxine had been on Dogstar a long time, plenty long enough to set down roots for a research facility and collect a space station’s worth of subjects by force. If it looked like anything else from the outside, well, that was just a pretty face to convince everyone else that it wasn’t their problem and it wasn’t worth getting involved. The first news reports were of a siege, and that was the last outgoing message anyone received; by the time the theory fell apart, communication outside was an impossibility.

The reality was that Dogstar was a testing ground. Maxine had the Theia, and she had plans.

Juno and Jet became her personal annoyance. And it felt good, for a while; Juno felt alive, Jet laughed sometimes, and at last there was a purpose in being the ones left behind beyond dumb luck and timing. It felt good like another hit felt good, like dodging blaster fire close enough to feel the heat of it on your face felt good, and they would take what they could fucking get. There wasn’t anything else.

(They needed something, in that hell of a prison they were trapped in, with no guarantee that the people they saw were people the way they used to be. The reports they stole were horrifying and complex, and Juno was as frustrated as he was relieved he couldn’t parse the science of it. Bioengineering, maybe, or technology taught to behave like biology - a machine fed raw materials that grew them into circuitry, twisting and growing like roots into a person, along muscles and bones and into the brain and good luck, Hanataba, coming up with instructions to rid a person of an infestation that deep. Juno put down the reports. He pulled out his own Theia, considered crushing it under his foot - looked at the way Jet looked at it and knew he would understand if Juno gave in to that little violence - and then put it away. He talked about close escapes and running guards, and Jet laughed, and who cared if they were running along a cliff’s edge because they needed something.)

A relapse, Juno will call it later. An instinct he thought he’d put away, dragged back out of him into daylight. In hindsight, he could even see it coming.

Maxine had gotten sick of them, clearly; her guards were better armed every time Juno and Jet went in, and the escapes were getting closer. The thought of can we afford to do this anymore had been pushed back by well, what else are we going to do and it was a compelling argument, especially to a couple of people carrying their grief along with them everywhere.

It only took a second. Out of the corner of his eye, Juno saw it: one of the guards unclipping something from his belt. There was just enough time to think he wouldn’t, he’s too close, he’d get caught in the blast, just enough time to see the look in his eye and think if he has the Theia and he thinks this is for the greater good, he would. Just enough time to push Jet forward and press the button for the door.

Jet has to tell him what happened next, and he does, eventually - by stops and starts, in pieces, and it’s the way he tells the story that tells Juno how much it hurt. When Jet opened the door, Juno was... broken. He may have been dead already; Jet didn’t stop to check. He scooped him up like a doll and carried him away, deeper into the lab until he found a room with a reclining chair and a looming machine hanging over it.

Here, he always pauses. “I could not be alone, Juno,” he explains. “I could not lose you too, after everyone else. I could not.”

There were instructions. He needed a Theia and he had one, fished out of Juno’s pocket. He didn’t know if he was making the right decision, so he held his emotions at arms’ length, leaned into his work with the quiet, steady determination required of him in a dusty clinic hidden beneath Mars’ surface, and he knit Juno back together again with filaments of woven metal.

(So much later that it feels like a different life, Juno gets to see it. The scanner picks up the roots that wrap around him, concentrated on the back of his neck at the base of his skull. They’re in his muscles, his bones, around his brain. Tiny, delicate, firm, and Juno can trace the fault lines that would have killed him in their paths.)

Juno didn’t dream, he tells Jet later. When he woke up there was just a heaviness in his mind that he didn’t understand yet, the lab, and Jet standing next to him. When Jet looked down on him, he looked so angry that Juno was sure he was going to scream until he was hoarse - but Jet pulled him close and held him like he was something breakable.

“Never again,” he whispered, and he sounded so pained that Juno was already nodding into his shoulder, agreeing to whatever he said. “You will never do that again. You will not make that choice, for me or anyone else.”

They stayed away from the labs. Jet held his hand all the time while Juno remembered and relearned how to walk, how to move his body, how to deal with the heaviness of his mind. Every time he spoke, Jet squeezed his hand harder... and eventually, Juno just spoke less. He could hear it talking from his mouth. If he had more energy, that would have terrified him. But Juno had other things to be afraid of.

There was something else in his head. It didn’t speak; it could have, maybe - it had the last time it had been there, supplying him with information and rote instructions and orders. The Theia didn’t use words anymore, by choice or by limitation, and it’s presence was still inescapable.

Juno didn’t talk about it at first, the ideas and images that came from nowhere. They were tentative and reserved, and it was so unlike what he was used to that he was half-convinced it was all him and the disjointed feeling was just... the result of shoddily-repaired brain damage. That was a thought awful enough that it didn’t bear repeating to Jet, who already looked at Juno in the silence sometimes like he was asking himself how much he’d broken by trying to fix him. Juno shoved the whispers back into the shadows, and they went willingly; he never met resistance, and that convinced him he was right. His head didn’t work the way it used to, but nothing did; it was another adjustment while they picked their way over the ruined station.

And then he answered a question Jet hadn’t asked.

Juno stormed into his own mind. Jet saw the glaze of his eye, took him by the shoulders and called his name to coax him back out, but Juno was flooded by frantic, overlapping images of radio towers and the repair of something he didn’t know was still floating in his blood. For communication, the Theia said without words. For the kind of communication the chip knew better than spoken language - direct transmission.

Direct transmission.

It was the beginning of an idea. It was the only thing stopping Juno from doing something they’d all regret, ripping the chip back out and to hell with it.

Juno spent a lot of time in his own head after that. He poked, he prodded, he looked for traps. The Theia didn’t have anything to offer - the Theia didn’t have anything to hide. He was given the impression of a long, dark quiet, a nothing; even disconnected and not operating, something in the chip had... stayed awake. Being where it was now felt like a second chance.

There are a lot of other people I’d rather give second chances to, Juno snapped out bitterly, silently. The chip already knew. Hard to keep secrets in his own head.

Juno pushed farther. He pushed out, and sometimes Jet turned to look at him, a strange expression on his face. Sometimes, a radio hissed and whined with feedback, or a screen popped and shuddered, or he and Jet stopped walking when Juno’s view was suddenly too high. Whatever Juno’s head was doing, it didn’t work like it had before - where that invasion used to operate something like a two-way knife, now it was a battering ram, ungraceful and swinging wildly. The repair the machine and the chip had attempted in tandem was a miserable patch job at best, dangerous at worst, and Juno pushed anyway. Jet asked him about it once, and Juno let him into his head instead of answering, invited him right in to see the mess of complicated feelings and uncertainty. Jet reached for his hand.

Every day, Juno found something new. It was the worst kind of game, running up against walls: a new rat maze that he was running mostly alone, but never really alone because he was never really alone anymore. He stuttered like anything over Rita’s name, out loud and to himself. The chip caught stray transmissions and placed them right in Juno’s head, a disorienting mix of updates from the lab and tentative calls from survivors. Some memories took a long time to recall, and some weren’t his. And he ached, he ached with every step while his body healed around him.

They walked. They hid. They planned. And when they reached the dock’s communication hub, Juno leaned his forehead against a transmission tower, exhausted all the way through, and gave everything to one last attempt.

(“Symbiosis,” he says later, so much later in a different life and a different world, the kind of life that has room for beds and money for transport to other places; the kind of life that calls them thieves instead of survivors. Jet looks over at him with a raised eyebrow; if that word in two voices upsets him, he’s good at not showing it - but Juno knows better. He knows. “That’s the word for it.”

“The word for what?”

“For me. For... us.” Juno looks up at the ceiling. Jet knows which ‘us’ Juno means - he knows. “We’d be dead without each other. I get held together and it gets to exist. Symbiotes.”

Jet hums. “You are more than a chip’s second chance to be, Juno.”

“But I’m that too,” Juno says in two voices. “I’m always that, too.”)

They get away from Dogstar. Of course they do; if Dogstar and its destruction couldn’t kill them, if a tossed bomb and losing absolutely everyone and everything couldn’t finish them off, maybe they just weren’t meant for death. One call makes it through the communication barrier with enough memorized confidential information to send several planetary governments scrambling into action and Juno sleeps for a week, but no one besides two and maybe a half people know the connection. Jet carries Juno onto one of the ships sent in to clean up the mess and hides them in a distant corner; they don’t speak, and eventually concerned authority figures leave them alone. When they land somewhere - anywhere - else, Jet leads them away from the ship.

It feels like a rebirth. It feels like a second chance that Juno isn’t sure he deserves, but won’t waste - if not for his sake, for theirs. For Jet’s.

Maxine Rutherford gets away, too. She’s long gone by the time the authorities descend, no doubt trying to sink her roots into some new place, and when Juno picks up that transmission from a closed, secure line and shares it with Jet, there’s no discussion. They’ll do this, one more time, for the right reasons. After that? After that is anyone’s guess.

Jet and Juno waste no time; the flurry of criminal activity in their wake inspires rumors and nicknames, and when Juno thinks to ask Jet if that bothers him, Jet chuckles.

“The legend lives on,” he says. “I think they would be pleased.”

~~~

“I’m guessing that means you poached our contact,” Juno mutters. He’s annoyed enough about the waste of his time that he has no reservations about subjecting his guest to more of his voice - and the thief is unnaturally still, which is satisfying and offensive at the same time. “What, did the people who told you the nickname not warn you about the voice?”

“Let me see your face.”

The flatness of his tone is obvious, even with the audio distortion. Juno frowns; he can’t picture what kind of expression goes along with a tone like that, and it makes him uneasy. “...why?”

“Please.” He hasn’t moved an inch. Juno would wonder if he was still breathing except that he keeps talking. “I just need to... please.”

Not without seeing his first, Juno thinks. He doesn’t have to ask the chip to know that it’s working on it, but it’s the kind of work that’s going to take months of concentrated effort - reclaiming Rita’s name taught him that, and that’s still not a sure thing.

Jet, stop where you are.

I am almost there.

That’s great, big guy, but I need your eyes for a second and if we do that while you’re moving, you’re gonna run into something.

Juno can feel the skepticism; no lying to him in his own head. If you say so, he says anyway. What do you need?

Somebody stole our meeting and I need to see his face - the distortion on this guy is something else. Can you take a look and tell me what you see?

Jet doesn’t answer in words; he doesn’t need to. He looks, and the inside of Juno’s head is quiet for a long time. Juno, he thinks, and there’s a strange echo that usually only comes from him -

“Juno?”

Juno, it’s -

But Juno doesn’t need to be told. He knows. There’s no evidence for him to point to, but he knows the person who would say his name like that, can hear what it would sound like in the right voice in his memory.

Juno leans forward. “Nureyev?”

[just-here-for-the-moment]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT KEANU AND EYE CONTACT FOR 0.75 SECONDS IN 1997 👀👀👀

LOL His band, Dogstar, played a show at a small standing room only club and my friends and I got tickets. We got as close as we could for the opening band, got jostled around a bit, and ended up 3-4 people deep from the stage and kind of to the right (the stage was maybe 4 feet high, and there were security guards and speakers, but no barrier fences or anything to make a space between it and the audience - a really small club!

Anyway, when his band came on, it turned out that we had ended up right in front of his position. He was literally only 12 feet away. And I swear to god I didn't take my eyes off him for more than 2 seconds at a time. At one point during a song he was playing his bass and looked up and looked right at me!! And I smiled like an idiot and he did not react at all, LOL. Just neutral face and then looked back down at his bass. But it changed me... I had been obsessed with him for nearly 10 years at that point and I felt like I had accomplished my dream.

If I ever actually MEET the man you will have to scrape a Claire-shaped puddle off the floor. He's my longest-lasting, deepest celebrity crush, and I was so friggin happy when the rest of the Internet got on board and started really loving him a couple of years ago. He deserves it! 💖💖💖

[fortheloveoffanfic]

After Party

Keanu Reeves x Reader. Request (A/n- have some smutty, bass player Keanu on this Friday night. Edit: I can’t believe I used the wrong ‘bass’ the first time *cries in dumb*)

Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, casual sex

Keanu’s navy blue t-shirt was soaked through with exertion, clinging to his skin. The crowd roared excitedly and the air felt electric. Like his band mates, Keanu was lost in the feeling, high on both the music and their audience’s exuberance. He had never been a fan of the limelight, but that, that was different; playing the bass, his fingers working the instrument expertly and the wide grin splitting his lips was enough to tell anyone how much he loved it.

There were people around her, too much maybe, but Y/n didn’t care. Like most of the other concert goers, her hands were in the air as her body moved in time with the music and she’d probably had way too much to drink by then, her inhibitions slowly withering away. “Aren’t you glad we paid extra for the VIP tickets?” Her best friend, Haley yelled, her voice combating the music.

“Definitely!” Y/n returned loudly. Originally when they’d made plans to see Dogstar during her birthday trip to Las Vegas, Y/n and Haley had planned to snag themselves a couple of general admission tickets and spend the rest of their money on an extra hotel room, but somehow, Haley had convinced her that being in the front row and getting into the backstage meet and greet would be way better than sleeping in separate rooms, and by extension, separate beds. And, as it turns out, she was right. Seeing one of her favorite Indie-Rock bands like that wasn’t something she was going to forget very soon, even if she was already drunk. “I can’t believe it’s almost over!” Y/n whined after the front man announced that they were on their last set for the night.

“Are you kidding me?” Haley laughed loudly, “The night’s just getting started! We have the meet and greet and trust me, its just gonna take one look at your outfit to get you an invite to a private concert,” Haley wiggled her brows, her words slightly slurred.

“Yeah, okay,” Y/n rolled her eyes, “Because hot celebrities wanna fuck a part-time nanny,” she huffed, finishing off the drink from her red plastic cup.  

“You never know,” Haley winked, teasing as she clumsily brushed some hair out of her face.

After the concert was through, fans had started clearing the huge hall on the ground floor of the hotel, some leaving while others with VIP passes, and even those who’d managed to dupe the security, headed backstage for the meet and greet. Things were signed and pictures were taken, but at some point, fans had started to leave there too. All except for a small crowd of women who managed to grab the men’s attention. By some odd miracle, Y/n and Haley had found themselves in that crowd, engaging in giggly conversation and tipsy, flirty jokes. 

They were all seated in what seemed to be a small lounge area in a corner of the room, surrounded by instruments and other stage equipment. There; short, black, velvet upholstered sofas were arranged close together around a matching, low, round table, littered with drinks, plastic cups and beer bottles. There was even a rogue cigarette pack or two mixed into the clutter. Haley was on the end of the chair in front of the table, while Y/n was wedged between her friend and another girl who’s name she didn’t even know. Music played loudly and the aroma of liquor hung in the air, adding a certain ambiance to their low lit, makeshift party.

“Look at that,” Haley nudged Y/n’s arm, nodding her head towards the other side of the glass coffee table, where the band was sprawled out, drinks in hand. 

“What?” Y/n chortled, trying to see what Haley was seeing, no longer interested in whatever was going on around her.

“Look at him,” Haley nodded subtly to a man, maybe five years older that Y/n, dressed simply in t-shirt and jeans, his hair hidden by a beanie, “He’s totally checking you out,” sure enough, his dark gaze was fixed her, half of his lower lip caught between his teeth, skewing his halfhearted smirk. 

“That’s Keanu Reeves,” Y/n giggled quietly, “There’s no way he’s checking me out, he’s probably just looking at someone else. Or, you know, he’s drunk out of his mind.”

“Only one way to find out right?” Haley wiggled her brows, a bad idea clearly in the making. By most definitions, both Y/n and Haley were adrenaline seeking risk-takers. They liked the rush, excitement and partying till dawn if the opportunity arose. But even then, Y/n always thought that there was a line, even if it wasn't defined or out-rightly related to their situation, it was always there, and somehow, Haley almost always managed to cross it. Before Y/n could even protest, Haley was leaning forward, trying to get Keanu’s attention, “Hey,” she snapped and when he looked at her, she smiled, bright and mischievous, “Hi, I was wondering; are you checking out my friend?”

For a minute, Keanu seemed stunned, and Y/n internally cringed at Haley’s boldness. All she wanted was to be swallowed whole by a spontaneous fissure in the floor, or at the very least, to never cross paths with Keanu again. That might have been more likely. Though, when his initial bewilderment morphed into a confident smile, Y/n felt heat rise to her cheeks, “Well that depends,” he planted his elbows on his thighs and clasped his hands together, leaning over the table in Y/n’s direction.

Y/n huffed, tilting her head and letting her hair sweep carelessly over her shoulders, “On what exactly?”

Keanu moistened his lips, “On if you’re interested or not,” he scooted rather gracefully to the edge of his seat, and Y/n did the same. No one seemed to be paying them any mind, though, if they were, Y/n didn’t notice, “If you are, then maybe we could get out of here.”

Briefly, Y/n silently checked with Haley, who just gestured for Y/n go. “Okay,” she bit back a smile, only standing to follow Keanu’s lead. Watching him go, his band mates, Brett and Robert whooped and offered him a couple other noises of approval, though Y/n could tell that Keanu was largely ignoring them, snaking his arm around her waist and offering her a swing from a bottle of hard liquor that he had swiped.

“Where are we going?” They spilled out into the hotel’s lobby, squinting at the brightness, a stark contrast to the smoky dimness of the small room backstage. Because Vegas never really slept, the lobby still buzzed with life, guests moving in and out and the casino opposing the auditorium showed no signs of closing soon, even if it was well past midnight. 

“Well,” Keanu looked around, “We could play poker,” he gestured to the tables peeking through the grand doorway, “Or I could take you up to my room.”

Y/n huffed, a small smile still tugging at her lips. In another instance, she might have pushed him away, disgusted by his arrogance in thinking that she'd willingly go to his room. But she was drunk past caring and she’d be lying if Y/n said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Snatching the bottle, she stole a few more mouthfuls, the tequila burning her throat as it went down, creating a warmth in her stomach that seemed to spread through her veins. Turing in his arm, Y/n cocked an eyebrow, “Lead the way hotshot.”    

Scoffing a chuckle, Keanu led her to the elevator, which turned out to be surprisingly empty on the way up. His hand around her slid to Y/n’s back, settling on the curve of her ass, just as she turned to kiss him, heated and hungry. “You know,” he mumbled against her lips, walking until he had Y/n pressed up against on side of the elevator, the reflective metal of the wall cool against her bare thighs and exposed arms, Keanu’s large calloused hands now on her waist, underneath her lace blouse, “I’ve been watching you all night, dancing with your friend. Anyone ever tell you that you look fucking sexy when you dance?”

Y/n’s pupils were blown with lust and she could feel Keanu’s hard on dig into her stomach, restrained by his jeans. As he spoke, his hands skimmed her body, passing over her mini skirt only to dip under the hem, going cup and squeeze her ass, “No,” Y/n moaned, arching into Keanu’s chest when  he lowered his lips to her neck, trailing kisses from her jaw, going downwards, his stubble rough on her skin.

“Well, you do,” he breathed, his lips warm and wet on her soft, silky skin as he sucked the sensitive spot behind her ear, “You kept distracting me, like a little vixen,” he growled, curling his palms under her thighs, hosting her up into his arms, Y/n’s legs, “And I don’t even know your name.”

“Y/n,” she offered breathily, “Nice to meet you,” she giggled.

“Keanu,” he returned, though, Y/n didn’t need an introduction to know who he was, “Nice to meet you too.” Less than a beat later, Keanu resumed his onslaught on her neck, eventually scooting her up some more so he could bury his face in the valley of her breasts. Y/n’s head lolled back, one hand travelling to shove off his beanie and grip a fistful of Keanu’s short hair, pressing his face closer to her chest.

Neither of them even realized that the elevator doors had slid open, too busy to hair the little, automated ‘ding’. What they did hear though was someone loudly clearing their throat. Y/n’s cheeks burned, taking on a rosy hue while Keanu smiled sheepishly, setting her down. “Come on,” he eventually snapped out of it, taking her hand and brushing past the hotel guests waiting to get into the elevator. 

Between giggles, sloppy kisses and teasing gropes, Y/n and Keanu, hand in hand, staggered towards his room, all the way at the end of the hall. When they got there, he clumsily unlocked it with his key card, barely having a moment to turn on the lights before he was crushing his lips to Y/n’s again. Their limbs tangled as they simultaneously tried to undress each other; he went for her blouse first, while Y/n pawed at the buckle of his belt. Eventually, articles of clothing were being tossed aside and by the time Y/n and Keanu stumbled through the open doors leading to the bedroom, they were left only in their underwear. 

Keanu maintained a grip on her curve of Y/n’s waist while she cupped his cheeks, walking backwards to the made queen sized bed. The lights in there were off and in the process of trying to make the way, they bumped into the dresser and even managed to knock over some things. When they were standing on the edge, Keanu hastily picked Y/n up again, only to deposit her length-ways on the bright white sheets. She fell with a quiet yelp, giggling breathily when Keanu yanked her panties off before getting out of his own underwear. 

With the aid of the city lights filtering through the closed curtains, Y/n could make out a few defining features, a well toned torso, a very impressive package and a devilish smirk. Likewise, as Keanu got onto the bed, pulling Y/n’s legs apart and getting situated between them, he could easily make out her breasts and her sensuous curves, along with her hair, fanned out around her, like a silky halo. If he weren’t in so much of a hurry for things to escalate, he might have taken more time to admire her, but what he could see made Keanu’s cock throb appreciatively and instead, he gave her legs a tug, pulling her body closer. 

He lowered his lips to ravish her chest, taking her hardened right nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around, his teeth gently grazing her skin when he eventually pulled away to favor the other one. Y/n moaned softly, eagerly pressing Keanu’s face chest. His stocky fingers trailed along her inner thigh, brushing her warm, wet folds, wasting no time before he was rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves, Y/n’s back arched to meet his touch.  Keanu worked her clit encouragingly in slow, circular motions, at times alternating between that and rubbing it with the ‘v’ of his middle and pointer fingers.

“Keanu,” she pleaded breathlessly, “More.” One of Y/n’s delicate hands run up his front, barely grazing the vertical scar on his stomach and up his firm chest before settling to settle on his shoulder, her other one circling his girthy shaft, pumping slowly, her thumb occasionally brushing over his head. 

As her ministrations grew faster, Keanu’s bucked into her touch, his fingers, now sticky with her arousal slipping into her entrance, curving to hit her G-spot, “You’re so fucking tight,” he praised between nipping and sucking her breasts, “Gonna feel good around my cock.”

The feeling of his fingers moving and out of her was good, but Y/n was growing frustrated with the burning desire for more. “Fuck,” she hissed when his thumb added pressure to her nub as Keanu continued, “Keanu,” she groaned, “God, just fuck me already.”

Smirking, he trailed hot, wet kisses kisses up Y/n’s neck, spending a few extra moments sucking on her pulse point before continuing his journey upwards. Keanu’s free hand skimmed Y/n’s side, his calloused touch sending shivers up her spine. “I want you to cum like this first,” his hot breath fanned her ear, and Y/n shuddered with pleasure when his tongue flicked the warm skin behind her earlobe erotically. 

Soon enough, Y/n’s walls were clenching around Keanu’s fingers, her orgasm sending her vision white as she shut her eyes. Waves of pleasure coursed through her body, her legs weak and shaking, eliciting a loud, sinful moan from her parted lips. Her hand enclosed around Keanu’s erection went limp, though he was too enamored to notice, from what he could see, she looked absolutely spectacular like that; with her head tossed the side, hair falling over her face, lips ajar and eyes shut tight. 

Keanu was about to push into her, when he caught himself, hastily reaching to feel around blindly on the nightstand. There should have been one right…….there. Feeling the cool, foil packaging, Keanu gabbed it up, effortlessly ripping the top before pulling out the condom and rolling it onto his shaft. 

Finally, Keanu sheathed himself inside of her drenched cunt, groaning lowly at how Y/n felt cocooning him. “God,” his voice was gravely and his jaw clenched, “You feel so fucking good.” Y/n’s only response was a needy whimper, already longing for more. For another moment, Keanu lingered inside, giving Y/n a much-needed minute to adjust to his size, before striking up a steady controlled pace, exiting fully before driving himself back in. 

Y/n’s arms went around Keanu’s middle as her legs tangled behind his thighs, eventually wordlessly urging him to flip them over. Now on top, her palms traveled up his chest, her nails sinking into the top of his shoulders to steady herself as she rode him. Keanu’s hands ran the length of her torso, eager to fondle her boobs, loving Y/n’s mewls of pleasure as his thumbs brushed her sensitive nipples, the remnants of her first orgasm being smeared on her chest. 

Rolling her hips, Y/n felt Keanu’s balls hit her core each time she came down, and his throbbing veins rough, the feelings adding to her ecstasy. Her broken sentences were already garbled and the makings of her second climax in the works.

The slight curve of his member easily hit her deepest points of pleasure, and eventually, one of Keanu’s hands abandoned her swollen breast, two of his fingers reaching between their joined bodies to eagerly rub her over-stimulated clit, his thumb pressed firmly to her mound. Y/n raked her nails along his chest, eventually settling on his pecs. 

Through his bleary vision, Keanu admired the way Y/n’s messy hair fell over her face, how, when his other hand slid to her waist, her breasts bounced with each movement, her sounds contained in her throat. “I’m close,” she admitted, her pace growing sloppy.

“Me too,” his hips bucked to meet hers, a couple digits still rubbing her clit as the other moved again, that time to knead her ass, “Come on baby,” he encouraged, “Milk my cock.” Keanu’s dirty requests were enough to push Y/n over the edge. Without further warning, Y/n shuddered around him, her pussy squeezing Keanu tighter, her legs mimicking bonelessness. 

Keanu hissed as he cock pulsed, buried deep inside Y/n, twitching as he shot ropes of creamy release against her walls, the only minor hamper being the latex barrier. The feeling was euphoric; he could feel the tingling down to his toes and his vision went stark white for a second, blind spots dancing on his eyes even as it faded. 

Breathing heavily, Y/n winced as she eventually pulled herself off of Keanu, collapsing onto the bed next to him. Their chests heaved and beads of exertion coated their bodies; Keanu had only just realized that the A/c wasn’t even on. Y/n’s eyes were heavy, and out of the corner, to her left, she could see that Keanu was still staring at the darkened ceiling, faint smile still quirking his lips. “It was very nice to meet you, Keanu,” she teased, giggling softly. 

“Likewise,” he chuckled, finally turning his head towards her. Again, the lapsed into silence, but it was only for a short while. “So,” he began, “Do you have to get back to your friend anytime soon?”

Knowing Haley, she’d probably left with one of Keanu’s band mates, or some other guy, intent on spending the night the same way Y/n was spending hers. They probably wouldn’t have seen each other until midday. “No,” she furrowed her brows, intrigued by where that was going. 

Leaning up on his crooked elbow, Keanu brushed stray locks away from Y/n’s neck and face, shrugging nonchalantly, “Good,” he chortled, swinging one leg over her, his lips connecting with hers and his already hardening cock against her thigh giving Y/n enough of an explanation. 

*******

Tagging- @harrisongslimited​

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: About the Bass (Keanu x F!Reader)

Summary: seeing Keanu playing the bass is one of the hottest things you’ve witnessed.

Pairing: Keanu x F!Reader

Author’s notes: do I really need to say how much I love Keanu playing the bass? It’s one of my kinks and this definitely is a product of that. Feedback is very welcome!

Wordcount: 1702

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and age gap.

You moved through the small gathering of people, a margarita in your hand – your third and last of the night – offering smiles and pausing to chat. It was your birthday and everyone seemed to be trying to speak to you, which was certainly lovely. You liked the attention, but you couldn’t help the disappointment burning in your chest.

You hadn’t expected to be thrown a surprise party. You were pretty sure you actively said to your younger sister that you didn’t really want to make a big deal out of it. To you, turning thirty was just like any other year. But apparently, she was incapable of listening, because she planned the entire thing and roped Keanu into not only helping to make sure you were kept in the dark but also into opening his house to a bunch of strangers.

You were going to have some words with her about it because she shouldn’t have asked that of Keanu. The two of you had only been friends for a few months, ever since Company Films hired you to work on a few scripts they were producing. You knew how much he valued his privacy. His house should have been off-limits.

Thankfully, the party was finally winding down. Happy Birthday had been sung, the cake had been cut and guests were finally leaving, saying their goodbyes to you, before slipping out. Looking around the small crowd of people that still lingered, you tried to catch a glimpse of his dark hair, but he didn’t seem to be around.

You excused yourself from one of your friends and wandered around the unfamiliar hallways until you found him in the music room, eyes closed, headphones on as he played a silent tune on his bass. You leaned against the frame to watch him, the way his long fingers moved over the strings so expertly; the little from of concentration and how he bobbed his head to the tune only he could hear. You had to smile because he looked both adorable and unbelievably attractive like that.

You realized you had a major crush on Keanu probably after the second week of working with him, doctoring the script for the next movie he would be directing. He was funny and sweet and so brilliant. It was next to impossible not to be smitten by him.

You convinced yourself it was stupid and hopeless because he was technically your boss and so much older than you. Not that you really cared about that, but you knew the press would buzz about it and besides, there was no way he would be interested, right?

Or so you thought until you started noticing all the little things. The glances whenever Keanu thought you weren’t looking; the way he smiled at you, soft and gentle, his entire facing lighting up and creases marking around his eyes. The little gestures whenever you were working together; like bringing you coffee when you didn’t even realize you needed or always ordering your favorite takeouts, even if he didn’t particularly care for it…

Part of you still wondered if you weren’t reading too much in this. You knew he was one of the sweetest, nicest guys in Hollywood. Maybe he was just being the perfect gentleman. But those things still planted the seed of hope in your chest. As a matter of fact, when he invited you for dinner and a movie to celebrate your birthday tonight you were planning on talking to him, checking where you both stood, but the surprise party really crashed your plans.

“Hey. How long have you been standing there?”

Keanu’s voice startled you back from your musings and your gaze focused on him again, noticing he had stopped playing and stood there with his headphones around his neck, a flush on his cheeks and a sheepish smile on his lips.

“Not long,” you replied with a smile of your own and stepped into the room. “I just wanted to let you know that people are starting to leave. You should have your house back in an hour or so. By the way, you really shouldn’t have let my sister get you into this.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugged, that soft smile adorning his lips and your heart fluttered. “Sorry I disappeared, it’s just…”

“Too much people start getting on your nerves?” you asked and Keanu chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, me too. Anyway, whatever you were playing, it looked good.”

“Well it sounded terrible,” he said with a small grimace, ducking his head self-consciously. “I’m rusty. It’s been a while since I played.”

“You miss it? Dogstar and Becky?” You leaned against the arms of one of the armchairs.  

“Sometimes,” he shrugged, starting to pull off the strap of the bass.

“Wait. Play me something,” you requested and Keanu snorted, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m rusty.”

“Oh, come on! It’s my birthday.” You pouted at him, knowing very well he never resisted long. “Pretty, pretty please?”

“How about I teach you instead?” he offered and you nodded.

“But I have to warn you, I’m tone-deaf,” you commented as he removed the headphones and connected the bass to a speaker.

You moved to stand in front of him when he beckoned you. Keanu settled the strap of the bass on your shoulder before he adjusted the length so the red body of the bass hung at your hips.

“How’s that? Should I shorten it a little more?” he asked moving behind you and settling his hands over yours.

There were so many thoughts running through your head at once but at the same time, you seemed completely unable to focus on any of them. Your entire body was intuned to Keanu’s and as he came closer, you were engulfed by the flow of sensations.

“It’s… uh… fine,” you stuttered.

“Good thing you’re a leftie too. Gonna make this easier.”

His left hand guided yours to the neck of the bass, adjusting your fingers at the right position, pressing them against the strings. You could feel the old callouses on the pad of his fingers, speaking of a lifetime of working with his hands, be it by playing instruments, working out or handling fake guns, it all left its toll on his hands.

The sensation was foreign but not unwelcome, just like you welcomed the warmth of his palm and how large it was, something you had always noticed, but seeing it covering yours like this was making your throat dry and sending very bad thoughts flying through your brain.

Of course, you knew Keanu was a big man. It was impossible not to notice. He was tall, with broad shoulders, strong chest and long limbs. You felt tiny in comparison and more than once you wondered how it would feel to be surrounded by his warm embrace like you were having a chance to experience just now.

“This is an A,” Keanu said, strumming the strings with his pick.

His words ghosted against your cheek and you caught a whiff the alcohol in his breath and it was strangely addictive. You could feel the warmth of his body and smell his cologne. It was wooden and spicy, with an underlying musk that you knew it must be Keanu’s unique scent and it was making your head spin.

You didn’t know if this was the best or worst idea the two of you ever had because it almost felt like sweet torture to be this close. He moved your fingers against the strings, showing you another chord, but all you could focus was at the feel of his hard chest against your back; his strong arms around you; those long, nimble fingers over yours.

“Am I boring you?” Keanu asked, his baritone against your ear sending shivers down your spine and there was no way he didn’t feel that. “Maybe we should stop.”

“No,” you breathed out, tilting your head up to look at him, catching on his darkened eyes and the way he licked his lips as he stared down at you. You felt heat rushing through you, arousal and alcohol making you dizzy.

There was no denying now; no pretending that it was just your imagination. Not when Keanu was looking at you like he wanted to devour you whole and all you could think was having his mouth on you.

“This is a bad idea…” he whispered but guiding you with his hands to turn around and face him.

“Probably,” you sighed, letting go of the bass to rest your hands against his chest, looking into his eyes. “But sometimes the best things come from the worst ideas.”

The air felt thick with tension, the silence heavy with so many unspoken things as Keanu just stared at you and you wondered what his next step would be. It felt like it was happening in slow motion, the way he leaned closer, his hand coming to cradle your nape, tilting your face up at just the right way so you could properly welcome his mouth on yours. His lips slightly chapped against your soft ones, fitting almost perfectly; his beard tickling your nose.

You let your lips part under his, welcoming his tongue, tasting the beer he had all night, mixed with the sweetness of the chocolate cake. It was delicious and you tried to press closer, chasing his taste, but before either of you could go any further, someone cleared their throat, making both of you jump startled and breaking the mood.

“Sorry to interrupt,” your sister said with an arched eyebrow and a smirk and you couldn’t help but glare. “A couple of people want to say goodbye.”

“Yeah,” you said, voice raspy like you have been in the desert for too long.

You untangled yourself from the bass strap and Keanu, stifling the pitiful sound threatening to spill from your throat at the sudden loss. Your eyes met him when you were backing away, and you could see all the want and need you felt yourself.

‘Later,’ You mouthed at him and Keanu smiled, giving you a quick nod, before turning his back to you so he could put his bass away.

xxx

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[allie1804-fan]

The Fall (Chapter 1)

Warnings: None

St Thomas Hospital London

Feb 11th 2017

A dull but insistent drum sound seemed to be beating in the distance over and over again. Where was it coming from and why wouldn’t it stop? Abby opened her eyes tentatively, blinking at the bright light steaming in through the window next to her bed.

Her  eyes ’s flew open . There wasn’t a window to the left of her bed!

And that’s when she remembered where she was and why.

Yesterday she’d been queuing in Leicester Square with a ticket to attend the Premiere of John Wick 2.  She’d felt kind of daring being there and also completely stupid at the same time. She was 48 for god’s sake and surely beyond the days of following your favourite movie star to premieres and book signings – and yet, why shouldn’t she have some youthful fun. Her kids were teenagers now so it was no skin off her husband’s nose for her to go off with a girlfriend for a long weekend away and why not build in the chance to see her idol of over 20 years in the flesh again. She’d managed to see him a couple of times before  this - with Dogstar in the 90s and at a book signing in 2011, but in February 2017 Keanu’s star was riding high and so she and her friend Alison had made a the trip to comprise the Graham Norton Show on the Thursday and the John Wick 2 Premiere on the Friday. There was a large excitable crowd at the premiere and, as it turned out, she was alone as her friend Alison had had to cry off and return home that morning as her son  was sick. Maybe that was Abby’s downfall and why she’d been more vulnerable in the crowd.

She’d managed a glimpse of Keanu as he’d come up the line but she wasn’t able to get to the front  and pass him her picture of him for signing. So enthralled was she at just watching him interact with the fans at the front, especially the few kids that had been brought along,  that she didn’t notice the swell of the crowd behind her. Keanu had crouched down for a picture with one of the kids and as he rose back up she glimpsed his expression changing, his eyes fixed on something behind her. And then her feet were knocked from under her and her head hit the icy cold pavement.

This whole scene was  going through her mind yet again when the nurse came to check her vitals the following morning.

“Morning sleeping beauty, how are you feeling?”

“Sore” Abby replied smiling slightly “and I can’t really remember getting here. Last thing I can remember is the pavement!”

“Well, your husband is coming down this afternoon and hopefully we can discharge you then. It’s Saturday now and you came in at around 8.30 yesterday evening after a fall in a crowd, do you remember where you were?”

“Yes, I do” Abby replied blushing, wondering if the nurse would think her really juvenile for going to a premiere.

“Did you get to see him?”

“Who, Keanu?”

The nurse nodded excitedly and Abby breathed a sigh of relief that it didn’t seem like she was being judged.

“Yes from a distance – I think me looking at him stopped me noticing the crowd surge. I think he saw it coming though. That’s the last thing I remember – his worried expression looking behind me and then wham!”

 February 11th Claridges London

The phrase from the Matrix, “Like a Splinter in your Mind” was going through Keanu’s brain as he lay in bed the morning after the premiere.  He kept trying to picture the woman who’d fallen the night before and to place her but it just wouldn’t come. Immediately after it happened, security had stepped in to both attend to the woman and protect him, rushing him into the auditorium for press and despite him repeatedly asking if everyone was alright he never really got any detail from anyone. He leaned over to grab his phone off the nightstand and rang Cheryl. She had stayed outside at Keanu’s insistence to see that the emergency services came and what the outcome was. She was a bit irritated as she would normally hover near each journalist seeking to talk to Keanu to make sure no-one strayed into unwanted territory but she could see he’d be even more likely to bail completely if he was worrying that no one was ensuring that the woman who fell was taken care of.

“Did you find out anything, about the woman last night”

“well they told me which ER they were taking her to but I don’t know if that’s where she’ll still be.  She might have been discharged for all we know.”

“Damn it!, I know I recognise her but it just won’t come. Did you get a name?

“No she was still concussed  - can you give me any clues?”

“I just feel like I’ve met her or heard her speak or …. Something”

It was in the shower later on that it came to him! She’d been at the chat show! He hadn’t actually seen her there in person but the show runners had done some interviews with fans in the afternoon who were queuing to get in and hers was one they’d selected to show him as they thought it was cute.

The question they had asked fans of those on the show was “What would you say if you met xxx and she was there for him rather than Denzel or Amelia Fox.

“Well, let’s be honest” she’d laughed, looking at her the friend beside her “I know I’m a grown woman, but I‘d most likely be dumbstruck and tongue tied……… but if I could actually gather my thoughts it would be to say lots of thank yous.

“What would you thank Keanu for?”

“Well 1stly obviously a thank you for all the entertainment -  the laughter, the tears and the thrills from his films. And then thank you for the friendships, like this one (she gestured between herself and her friend)  that have sprung from being a fan. Some online and some that were made in real life or went like this one from being online to real life and many of them have lasted over 20 or so years. And  thanks for being someone I can admire as a person too (the hard work, the humility, living up to the “being excellent to each other” mantra is pretty inspirational to me and is a massive part of why I am still a fan. And finally, maybe most importantly, thank you for the solace that having this little outlet, this escape of being a fan has given me so often when real life has been too painful. You know, having a film to watch and share thoughts about or a new interview to see, a Dogstar gig to go to or a report from a film set from an extra. Or even if I’m brutally honest, having  a cute new picture to fan girl over has been a comfort to me when times were tough. So thank you for all that Keanu. That is what I would want to say but probably I’d just be a like a mute goldfish!”

He had been speechless after watching that. He knew his fans liked him - how could he not when people got excited in the street or at an event to meet him and shake his hand but to have it put so beautifully and to hear the word “solace” from someone of around his age who  he guessed had been battered somewhat by life’s travails like him  - that was really something else and it had stayed with him. He was glad he’d now connected the two images – the falling woman and the fan. He called Cheryl back with this nugget and asked her to contact the show team to see if they had kept any details. He was determined to send her flowers, maybe try to see her, especially as she had ended up in hospital, however briefly.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99 

[keanuquotes]

What do a grocery store, a diner, and The Matrix Resurrections have in common? We can thank all of them for Dogstar's origin story and comeback.

Keanu Reeves, Robert Mailhouse, and Bret Domrose's rock band formed in 1991 after a chance encounter in Southern California's supermarket Gelson's, when Reeves saw Mailhouse wearing a Detroit Red Wings top and struck up a conversation with him. The two bonded over their shared love of hockey and became fast friends.

"It turned out that we lived in the same neighborhood," Reeves tells EW, "and then we started to jam together, and then we started to write songs, and then we played the first shows as Dogstar not that long after."

Doghouse members Robert Mailhouse, Bret Domrose, and Keanu Reeves

| CREDIT: BRIAN BOWEN SMITH

In their early days, bassist Reeves, drummer Mailhouse, and original singer and guitarist Gregg Miller (who left the group in 1995) would play in Reeves' garage. "It was fun," Reeves recalls. Until Miller's amplifier broke.

So he reached out to Domrose for help. "I was bartending with [Miller] when I first moved to Los Angeles, and I happened to have a similar amplifier to his," Domrose says. "So I went over to the house to help him fix it, and that's where I met these two guys. I just thought I was going to help some guy fix a piece of equipment. I didn't know I was about to change the rest of my life."

Reeves and Mailhouse were instantly impressed by Domrose's guitar skills — "Bret's a shredder, man," Reeves says — so a few days after watching him play, they invited him to join them at the iconic Los Angeles venue Troubadour. "I just wanted to go and drink beers and watch you guys," Domrose recalls. "I didn't realize I was going to be on stage."

"That set the tone for us from then on," Reeves says, rubbing his hands together. "Jump into the deep end. Man, that's us. We are not afraid."

Much like with that first serendipitous meeting in a Gelson's, food, at least in a roundabout way, helped lead them to a musical collaboration — this time, their return, which includes a tour and their upcoming third album, Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees.

"There was a premiere for Matrix 4 in San Francisco, and the next morning we had breakfast," Reeves says. "That was the initial spark." While the band never officially went on hiatus, they hadn't recorded or released new music in more than two decades, playing together only every few years in basements or at smaller gigs nowhere near the size of their old concert venues. But what started as a post-Matrix Resurrections chat about equipment turned into a full-fledged plan for them to reunite in L.A. to start working on fresh material.

"We got excited, one thing leads to another, and then we all took it extremely seriously," Mailhouse says. "It wasn't going to be another one of those casual get-togethers. You could just tell. It was like we were on a mission."

Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees is full of anthemic, sweeping, beautiful, and rousing songs that embody what the band is today. "The inspiration was three guys wanting to have fun and reconnect and be honest with our emotions, and so that's what you get," Domrose says.

If the music is different from their earlier, post-grunge records, it's all by design. "There's a maturity," Reeves says of their sound today. "The most challenging day [recording this album] was when I played 'Dillon Street'" — a track on the new album — "really basic when we were writing the song. When we get into the studio with the guys, I'm just playing it very simple and holding it down, and they were like, 'I think you need to do something more.' I tried to come up with the bass line in the moment, and it moves around a little more than I usually do, and so it was pushing me."

Reeves continues, "It was scary making stuff up in the moment with all ears and eyes on me, but everyone was cheering me on — just like, 'Dude, you got it. Let's go, Reeves.' So it was challenging, but also a fun moment."

The trio have never felt prouder of an album, and they can't wait to finally release it to the world. "We should have the record release party at a Gelson's, the one in Beachwood Canyon [where we met]," Mailhouse jokes to Reeves.

Adds Domrose with a laugh, "They do have a bar now!"

Somewhere Between the Power Lines and Palm Trees is out Oct. 6.

[taltos-seidmadr]

It occurred to me that I never shared the Loki playlist that I made for my Month for Loki back then when I was writing it. It’s the Month for Loki again, and it has stayed technically unchanged since it’s inception two years ago... so I might as well!

This is a part of a series of playlists that are based on the myths, so this is the myth-Loki and not based on my personal experiences or whatever (that playlist is elsewhere lol). Except for the last song. There is always a +1 at the end that is personal.

Overall I just wanted this to be a fun, contrarian and playfully rebellious playlist with a hint of edginess... because that’s exactly what I think Loki is like in the myths: a fun, playfully rebellious contrarian, with a little bit of an edgy addition when the plot wouldn’t be able to move on otherwise.

I feel like this reveals more about my age and taste in music than I expected but I’m not ashamed of it in the slightest

And yeah, you’ve got your fires and air and birds and threads and volcanic activity and everything. Sure. (I have forgotten the snakes oops? Suggest me a song with snake imagery in the comments.)

The tracklist as of today is thusly (with some lyric snippets as teasers)

GOT ENOUGH RED TAPE TO CHOKE A HORSE / I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M DOING IT / THIS IS MY SERMON, THIS IS MY SERMON, THIS IS MY SERMON 0. Sermon - Ed Schrader’s Music Beat

It’s time to shine / And make all your dreams come true / Come on... wish upon a dog star 1. Dogstar - Hybrid

Are you still denying? / Now I know there is something more / That this is the truth / It’s all in you 2. Path, Vol. 2 - Apocalyptica feat. Sandra Nasic

Come play my game, I’ll test ya / Psychosomatic, addict, insane 3. Breathe - The Prodigy

Now renegades are the people with their own philosophies / They change the course of history / Everyday people like you and me 4. Renegades of Funk - Rage Against the Machine

Get on board and have some fun / Take what you need to turn you on 5. Androgyny - Garbage

I want to hang all your cattle with your velvet rope / Motherfuckers step up and get into an orderly line 6. Better of Two Evils - Marilyn Manson

I can't control myself, because I don't know how / And they love me for it, honestly, I'll be here for a while 7. Blood - My Chemical Romance

I been that bitch, yes I love that drama / Fishy, feminine up-and-comer 8. Call Me Mother - RuPaul

I am the vulture in the space / I’m running in my supersonic shoes / I’m the vulture in the haze / There’s nothing foreseen, no rules 9. Supersonic Shoes - Strong Deformity

Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? / Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me? / Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? / Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me? 10. Gasoline - Halsey

You could light me on fire / and you could kill me in my sleep / You could call me a liar / And you could bury me deep... 11. Light Me On Fire (High Maintenance Remix) - Dub FX

I need your discipline / I need your help / You know once I start I can not help myself 12. Discipline - Nine Inch Nails

Done my time and served my sentence / Dress me up and watch me die / If it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine 13. Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At the Disco

for shame’s sake by any other name / when the seeds take / it grows like weeds and spreads like flames 14. The Fuel - Sneaker Pimps

There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself 15. Never Wanted To Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence

I was close to the ant / Staying undercover, staying undercover / With a nose to the ground, I found my sound 16. BORN FREE - M. I. A.

And the longest hours I've had in my life / Were the ones I went through to know I was right / So I'm safe... but I'm a little outside / I'm gonna laugh when I'm buried alive 17. Sulfur - Slipknot

You say you wanna be my leader / I think you wanna be my God / You say you on the side of the righteous / I say I'm gonna hang with the wrong 18. Angel Duster - Run the Jewels

Made tissue paper sails / used thread instead of nails / Your autograph was carved across your back / We thought that you were done / but then you grabbed your gun / You pushed and fought and ran full speed ahead 19. How To Look Naked - Black Light Burns

Clothes on the floor, but the bed's on the ceiling / Slurring my lines, but I'm nailing the meaning 20. Silvertongue - Young the Giant

I belong here with the fallen / Here is nowhere, here is everything / I belong here with the broken / We are lost and we have nothing to lose 21. Pray for the Pain You Serve - Gary Numan

I'm the player, I'm the naive / I'm the one who's not addicted / I'm the logic to the fuck up / I'm the broken one who fixed it 22. Seen It All - KoRn

Cause I'll darn you back together / when you think that you're bereft / And you'll wail, you'll scream, but I'll never stop / cause it's all that I have left +1. The Rockrose and the Thistle - The Amazing Devil