#so very evidently nobody should think im talking about them because i am not
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Moooore descendants 4 incorrect quotes with Glassheart/CharmingHeart (they back)
(and other ships)
Red: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
(Girl. Same)
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Maddox: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk!
Red: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them.
Maddox: You said I should try some!
Red: I said they were good.
Maddox: That’s not how I heard it.
(MADDOX! HIIIII! SOME LOVE FOR YOU TOO BUDDY!)
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Red: Tomorrow’s the Cooking Contest. Maddox always tells me one thing every year. They say, “You might win if you’d stop eating your entry!” But how would I know whether it’s an award-winning dish without tasting it first? This may be a problem humanity will have to grapple with for eternity.
(AU. Red is a good cook)
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Chloe: So how’s the food Red made?
Cinderella: It's great! Compliments to them.
Chloe: *goes to the kitchen*
Chloe: You're adorable.
Red: *blushes*
(again. Red is a good cook. She invites the Charmings for dinner and then asks them for their blessing when Chloe leaves)
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Chad: we could make a boys club!
Maddox: Im non-binary.
Chad:
Chad: Anti-girls club.
(Slay. Also can't decide if Maddox should be green or purple. Maybe even orange but I chose green for now. Will change later if I'm in the mood)
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Red: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?
Chloe: Do it or you're straight.
Red: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!
(That's too far, Chloe! Are you mad?!)
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Chloe: Operation no more distractions is a go!
*not even 10 seconds later*
Chloe: Oh, look! A butterfly!
(She's either laser focused or cannot concentrate at all)
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Red: *clicks pen*
Maddox: *clicks pen in response*
Queen of Hearts: Stop that.
Red: Stop what?
Queen of Hearts: You’re talking about me in Morse code!
Red: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!
*later*
Red, to Chloe: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.
(I'm surprised you kept your Head. And they absolutely did learn that because they had nothing else they could do)
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Chloe: Come on, Chad. Nobody actually believes that Red is in love with me.
Chad, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Red is helplessly in love with Chloe.
*Everyone raises their hand*
Chloe: Red, put your hand down.
(*raises hand* what more evidence do you need??)
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Chloe: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Chloe, gesturing to Chad and Red fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!
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Red: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Chloe made me get tested.
(It is canon now. Headcanon)
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Chloe: Anything else?
Red: Yeah. Stay away from me!
Chloe: Alright. See you in the room we share
(Literally them. Canon. can also be switched)
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Queen of Hearts: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.
(rather that and not off with my head)
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Queen of Hearts: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at Red’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!
(Oop-. Damn. She would care more tho. I think..)
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Queen of Hearts: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.
Mal: What makes you say that?
Queen of Hearts: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?
Mal: Your Majesty.. You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?
Queen of Hearts: *screams in anger*
(Just a meeting between two Queens ✨. Canon
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Queen of Hearts: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Maddox: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.
(ssSSHHhhH. Not so loud. Don't want you to lose your head. Canon tho)
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Red: I’m terrible at expressing myself.
Uma: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words.
Red: Yes, but my actions are also bad.
(Girl same. Getting advice from the principal ✨ she probably did something 👀)
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Queen of Hearts: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.
(She for real does make it everyone's problem)
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Hope you liked it!
Wanted to add more but then it would have been too long.
So the next one has more of the OGs
Byeeee
#chloe charming#redcharming#rise of red#glassheart#charminghearts#red of wonderland#descendants 4#princess red#rise of red incorrect quotes#red of hearts#maddox hatter#queen of hearts#bridget of wonderland#cinderella#ella charming#chad charming#uma descendants#mal descendants#mal bertha
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to the anon that sent me the hate speech yesterday about me being straight and not believing that twst characters are gay or bi and not wanting to support the lgbtq community
im just trying to tell that i don't care what you say about what i believe in, since you are not willing to talk politely to a stranger that just doesn't want to support you because it is not by force, it is my account to do whatever i want and write the characters to be straight
i didn't post any hate speech about the community, i just said i don't support it (because im actually a muslim and it is forbidden to do so in my religion) and i just said my opinion on a game characters that i don't like how people write them to be gay, did i say something that bad it triggered you so much to make you bother and send me hate speech??
if you are brave enough and so proud of your community and confident about your opinion you shouldn't write anonymously like a coward and make fun of me and my sexuality, be brave and say it to my face, don't hide behind that anon thing, you just made me laugh and more insisting on what i believe in, you are just proving to me that you are actually scared of me or scared to get in a real argument with me
you are obviously over 20 or maybe over 30, triggered by a 17 y/o girl writing about some characters from a game? oh man that's wild, get yourself some life instead of this, acting like your community will be destroyed if i didn't support it, You know very well that this will not delay or provide anything for you and your community. making me have a bad impression of how average lgbtq people treat others, saying that every person should be respected and then making fun of straight people makes zero sense, You are just an empty person who throws their obscene words at others
And I will not care if anyone wants to convince me that the characters are gay, as long as it is not explicitly stated that they are gay, then they are not. Give me conclusive proof of your words from the game itself and I will accept the truth with open heart, i am open to discussions as long as you speak to me politely
and i also didn't run to the dozens of accounts who writes gay headcanons or scenarios and tell them such shit and talked rudely, i didn't tell them that they are bad or horrible for being from the lgbtq community because i really don't care and i won't gain anything and it will actually made me look like a fool, it is the same for you
bro just move on and don't be triggered if someone doesn't support you, it is not the end of the world and actually nobody saw that post.. i don't get it why are you that mad, I am not writing this for you only because I do not really care about your opinion when you are actually barking not speaking. Rather, I am speaking for anyone from your community and my followers who does things like you did, and I want to express my opinion and explain why my account does not support this community at all
i can be as rude as you and post shitty things but i just doesn't want to, because i have a life and i don't need to make other people angry i just don't need all this trouble, so please to anyone who thinks that they win when they talk like they are oppressed hiding behind that anon option, think twice before writing to other people, maybe i don't care but other people will get hurt if you say such things to them (if you actually care about their feelings)
have a great day and don't be hateful on someone who doesn't support you, you can't force other people to like you and this doesn't justify treating them like inferior when they didn't actually attack you and tell you something bad ^^
and again if you wanna prove your point and show me that the characters are gay i don't mind just dm me or send an ask with the evidence and i won't argue about it, but about supporting the lgbtq community so im not willing to do this, my religion says that it's haram so i won't do otherwise, Thank you to everyone who understands me at this point
anonymous asks are off so that only the people who wants to discuss politely with me will write🫡
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Hello everybody here's Annie to tell you (ramble to you) ab the ballad of jane doe!!!
first off, I've heard some people say that it should be "Jane Doe's Lament" and "The Ballad of Monique Gibeau", since a ballad tells a story, and to lament is to feel pain, agony, etc, but i think that is WRONG. Bc as Karnak states, the entire point of the show is to give them the chance to express what they wish they were, not what they were perceived as. a ballad tells a story. Jane wanted a story. Noel wanted tragedy. I think the titles fit them very well. Anyways, let me tell u ab some lyric choices that I luv sm bc this entire musical is a lyrical work of art. Ok first first!!! Lots of people get confused by the beginning of the song, but I think it makes sense if you've seen or read Legoland, because penny was unhappy with life, she had a realistic point of view, she always knew she would die one day, she is just lamenting (ba-dum tsss) the fact that she can't remember who she is. Another thing I like is that in fall fair suite when she does her screaming thing they're all spinning around and she's repeating the same notes bc its like she's swirling around them, but in her song it just represents falling straight down. Another thing is the next bit where she references Saint Peter, who is the guy who judges souls and decides if they were good or bad or wtv. I like this part bc the way she says it so desperately is that she doesn't care if she was a horrible person, she just longs to know who she is. "And from the ground, beneath my feet" this line is more evidence that penny was still dying after the rest of the choir was already dead, disproving the theory that penny was dead before everyone else. One of my favorites bc it has so many ways it could be interpreted, "a choir never complete." There are a few things I think it means. 1. She lost her head, this can be either metaphorical (referring to the "head voice" which is a way one can sing) or literal (since one of penny's body parts is missing, they can never reunite the entire choir.) 2. Penny was the only soprano. It's clear that Ocean's actor has a wide vocal range when you hear her sing in the background of other songs, but whenever she sings as Ocean, she mostly stays in alto range, meaning penny would have been the only soprano in the choir, and the choir isn't complete without their soprano. 3. Since it's implied that penny joined the choir at the last minute, she never got to perform with them, they were never complete. This is my favorite bc it shows up multiple times!!!! "An old forgotten tune, a song that no one knows, forgot how it goes" any time she references a song, the song she's talking about is penny. In Legoland, penny has a quote something along the lines of "Im just one song in a big symphony." (I can't remember the full quote right now.) She's saying that penny is forever forgotten. "Why be left with no family and no friends?" In this part in the musical, the choir covers their faces. None of them know who Jane is. "Time eats all his children in the end." This is a reference to Kronos, who is sometimes associated with time, and is known for eating his children. It's also a reference to earlier in the musical when she talks about lions eating their children. "A melody floats through the air, when silence falls, does no one care?" Going back to what I said earlier, the melody is penny. When penny dies, silence falls. The melody stops. But there's no one to care. "Another sad forgotten tune, another song that no one knows, so that's how it goes!" I like to think that she's talking about Jane now. Jane is the other song, but they know how that song goes already!! So, that's how it goes. "No one to sing, no one to sigh" here, she's saying that when people hear a Jane Doe body was discovered, people are obviously sad, but nobody can say "Hey, that's somebody i know." "Isn't there anyone to tell me who I am?" Penny is Christian, so she was probably expecting to go to heaven and see her relatives who could identify her. "Just a sorry speculation" bc Jane's entire existence is a speculation. Nobody knows who she is.
Thank you :]
#The ballad of jane doe#Ride the cyclone musical#Emily Rohm#Jane doe#Jane doe rtc#I love jane doe guys#If you had to guess who would you say my fav character is#It's jane#Rtc musical
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i would gladly listen to any information about tao that you're willing to share actually. she seems like the character of all time
whoever this is i love you and also youve just released something ungodly within me i actually just sat down and scribbled together some sort of reference sheet for her LMFAOO. imagine this design but even more danganronpa-ified you get it
none of this makes any sense if you dont know what fic im talking about just as a warning!!!!!!!!
also just a warning i am talking about her execution here so if youre not chill with death and violence and disturbing shit and all that please dont continue!!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
anyways time to be normal about her. her full name is tao uyemura she's the ultimate miner :) she practically grew up in a mine due to her father's work and the crew she was always with pretty quickly realised "oh hey we can't fit in these small openings...... but you know who CAN 🤔" so they let her tag along even though they absolutely should not have let a little girl in the mines. later she grew a whole lot and essentially became one of the best miners in her field, extremely knowledgable about minerals and caves, as well as remarkably agile and able to manoeuvre herself in tough spots. it is however during this period where she grew remarkably tough due to a personal loss and also people just generally kind of being assholes towards her lmao so her solution was to Be Mean and Return to the Mines. she's honest to a comical level, takes things very literally, has this very deep voice that usually never gets raised above speaking volume because she doesn't need to yell to be intimidating she just IS.
in the first season she appeared in she was a secondary antagonist/survivor and she clashed with the protagonist/love interest a LOT, would constantly attempt to make the love interest see her side of things and stop trusting the protag with his hope spiels, would keep bits of evidence to herself so she always had something over the group and couldn't be killed unless they wanted to lose that evidence as well, etc. and it wasnt even the protag who managed to convince her to soften a little bit lol it was another unnamed character whose death severely impacted tao in a way that made her change her mind on the whole "trust nobody think for yourself" mentality. i dont have much on this season just because it's relatively unimportant to her story and also at that point team dr was just recycling a bunch of old tropes so she wasnt really considered groundbreaking to any of the audience lmfao
she wakes up from the danganronpa simulator pissed as hell for herself and for her friends, is extremely outspoken the entire time, makes multiple attempts at publicly making team dr's atrocities known, and eventually joins a team of people who were attempting to break out of the hospital they were in. unfortunately shit happened and she got caught about two weeks later 😔😔😔😔
the SECOND season she appeared it was brutal as hell for her because at this point it was basically a punishment. because there were a few other people from her season who were similarly being punished (ultimate motivational speaker, ultimate archer, both of whom died last season), danganronpa essentially had to backtrack and say that the first season tao was in was virtual reality in canon which explains why these dead people are alive again lmfao. tao is still comically blunt and not very willing to open up to strangers, but she is extremely loyal to the people she does put trust in and believes that being respectable is better than being kind. she's the second blackened of the game after one of her closest friends (an ultimate jeweller, they bonded over their lines of work!! the jeweller also reminded tao of that one unnamed character whose death impacted her last season so she gravitates towards the jeweller a bit more than the others) accidentally fatally struck another classmate. tao basically finished them off while the jeweller was running to get people bc damn it tao isnt gonna let her friend get executed for some stupid ass reason again !!!!!!!! but uhhhhhhhhhh team dr wasnt taking any hits with her execution 😧 idk if you think about cave diving as much as i do but god damn that shit is scary and that is essentially the basis of her execution, she's shown an "exit" that is through these old mines so she starts making her way through the cave system. the tunnels get smaller and smaller and as soon as she realises that its only going to get smaller from here it's way too late for her as it's become so narrow that she literally can't turn around anymore, until eventually she makes it to a particularly narrow tunnel where her foot gets stuck and she's essentially just hung upside down for literal days until they grew sick of her hanging there crying and filled the cave system with concrete. Lol! 😀👍🏻
#this is the first time ive put literally any of this into words so sorry if it makes zero sense#but thank you very much for asking >:)))#anonymous#ask lee#lee art#oc: tao
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I sent you this question about doctor in clinic of Bloodborne. Thanks for the answer! I was very nervous about it but I'm relieved. I've learned a few more things on this issue since yesterday after I did a post and someone also answered. There was evidence that, and doctor also, was Vileblood, what sounded very curiously. I'm now convinced on this theory too, at the same time I don't believe she was pregnant anymore. I forgot to say this in a previous ask that I thought that she described writhing and Oedon Writhe. But I am not confident anymore .Bloodborne has many horrible things happen with women, like just you wrote. Looks like because every Great One loses its child and years for surrogate, they use human bodies like factory. I understood your mind that another female character can just have more autonomy without being removed from this, at the same time I understood some fans just think that because false doctor can be Vileblood, it makes Oedon assault her too. I noticed that some people fuel even more horror to a story when it's already the most dark thing that isn't limited to be against women. It is such awesome idea to uplift the doctor instead of damning her too, like everyone else. We always notice that no one can have a happy ending, but we can change it with how we choose to interpret the story. It's all in the eyes of the beholder. I'd like to make a separate post on this that comes from different angle than saying someone is misogynistic, but I'm not even too familiar with using English language yet. There is no way to come to a complete agreement with sides, because different people want different things to write. So I think that some people here not hold ill intention to make one more female character reduced to just surrogated mother, but they want even more horror. Everything else in the post that you wrote was easy to understand and I had no more questions! Looks like everyone agrees that nobody wants to be evil and simply thought of what is better for the story and I love to see this in the fandom.
Yeah i definitely understand what you mean! In the end, bloodborne and fromsoft in general are games about coming to your own conclusions and thats part of what's so great about them. I think we can be mindful of what we theorize could mean in a narrative context while still being able to form our own takes on the lore. Also yeah agreed on the "vileblood"/cainhurst thing, without getting too much into it right now because this isnt my theory post LOL but i definitely think their relation to it added to their role and storyline in regards to oedon, it's really interesting to think about. I feel like i should clarify i dont necessarily want to accuse people of being outright misogynistic when theyre making that sort of theories! We all can unwillingly participate in misogyny that way without wanting to, because so much of it is internalized, and im not immune from that happening/having happened to me as well
Also your english is great !! Thank you for taking the time to write this and talk about it with me i really appreciate that :)
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i get trauma MIGHT influence being trans and i do apologize for how definitive what i said sounded, I see how it comes off, but what im saying is its not caused by trauma in the same way DID and OSDD is.
But when someone is abused into being trans, wouldnt working through the trauma that caused that make a change in their identity? maybe even not being trans anymore? i know theres nuance to that but wouldnt trauma based transness just be something to possibly work through? really, ALL trauma SHOULD be worked through and processed to help you better as a whole. But wouldn't being trans from trauma just be a result of that trauma and once worked through, not affect them anymore? or would they eventually just develop the gender dysphoria associated with being trans when they try to present as their biological sex/whatever? it brings up interesting questions about trauma and transness being connected, which is good to think about.
but again, im still adamant, you cannot compare being trans and being a system. They have too many specific differences that prevent them from being good comparisons for eachother. being plural is a specific experience, being trans is a specific experience. I am both. I know what being both is like. i experience it every waking moment of every day. and i would never in my life see those two as things to compare because they simply arent the same. the trauma that causes DID/OSDD wouldnt present the same as trauma that could, hypothetically, cause transness, unless someone was affected by both at the same time. research into attachment styles and types of abuse that affect DID/OSDD more prominently are very important to the disorder as a whole, how its diagnosed, and who gets diagnosed with it. and its not anything like being trans. being trans is not predominantly caused by trauma and saying it is brings us back full circle to "being trans is a mental disorder." yes you said its the minority of people, but comparing a disorder predominantly caused by abuse to an experience predominantly NOT caused by abuse, doesn't make sense.
"not all systems have solid memory amnesia. our system mostly has emotional "amnesia" / disconnects but we can recall things properly." that symptom is just one of many i could have used as an example, not the only example. i mentioned amnesia because i had DID in mind while writing. i wrote it like all parts cause amnesia yes but i mean in general, whats fun about any of the symptoms that plurality causes? whats fun about how debilitating it is to have a disorder like that? nobody goes "yippee! i love having depression!" but i see more endos talk about how much they love being a system than i do anyone else. you can love yourself and your parts while not glorifying and making a disorder out to be fun. "you dont have to be sad all the time you can find happiness in your disorder" yeah but all i see from most endo oriented spaces is how fun and fantastical being a system is.
every endo argument i hear is just a "what if?" "what if this happens?" "what if the brain __?" its always hypotheticals. "brains are able to create internal dialogues, and if we are able to form self-autonomous conscious states at all, it makes sense that there might be non-trauma based ways to create those self-autonomous conscious states." hypothetical. why is the brain always capable of so much to endos like its a fantastical concept that knows no bounds. Your brain can’t be so wildly different that mental disorders function in a whole different way, or it wouldn't have criteria. We'd have no criteria for any disorder because "oh well my brain is capable of having just this one part (alters) and nothing else." if our brain could just cherry pick parts of disorders and you'd still be diagnosed with them whats the point of even having criteria for them, or even disorders in the first place. To me you are just pushing a pseudo-psychology esque idea that isn't backed by evidence other than, "what if it did this?"
Everyone brain is different but it’s in the sense that it’s morphologically shaped different not that you start developing disorders you literally can’t have.
Anyway im just not sure were ever gonna agree or come to a stopping point so this is probably futile in the end, if you dont respond hope u have a good week and get blessed 🙏
What the fuck is a sysmed.. You mean to tell me we're medicalizing... a medical disorder..? Oh no oh jeez so scary be careful I might TRAUMATIZE you with my SYSMED-NESS 😱😱😱😱
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Do not r/eb/log.
before we even get started. Nobody I follow at this time, as far as I’m aware, has exhibited this behavior. This is not a vague, this is information. This is behaviours i have witnessed and dealt with on multiple occasions since, technically 2011 when i started writing on tumbs vaguely, but more specifically from 2015-2018 online. All my life Offline. These are behaviors i have witnessed, been victim to, etc. I have most likely not witnessed any of it from whoever is reading this if i follow you. Again, not a vague, not to start ‘drama.’ not a callout. Its the time of year this relates to, and i think its important for people to be aware.
I’m probably gonna delete this later bc i already know some dick is gonna start yelling at me for it later but honestly like, it’s april, yall know what the douchebags state it is for a/ustistics, you know what we prefer it’s called, honestly when are people, including self hating a/utistics, gonna stop insulting and villifying every single au/tistic who points out character traits in popular characters that are very much so our traits? Like, I’ve seen all the excuses like “theyre a mutant its offensive’ ‘theyre an alien its the wrong genetics’ ‘theyre not fucked up enough’ which is one of the most insulting ones ive seen and like??? the people are pointing out similar traits and characteristics, theyre pointing out things they see in themselves in their favorite characters and youre sat there telling them so and so cant be a/utistic because this character, in fiction, is not a ‘proper human?’ like, yall have no problems imagining a proper human boinking a fucking fish and a whole lot of people love doing extremely gross crap while using the guise of ‘its fiction i can do whatever i want’ but that only seems to apply to shitty things and almost never important things? like for fucks sake almost every piece of media ive ever had that represents my a/utism has either actively removed it because of the fanbase, villified the character eventually until they ‘cure’ them (again, fucking offensive), been canceled because viewers love everything but the a/utism, and fuck neu/rotypicals and even non-autistic n/eurodivergents just, ive seen people make up false accusations and defame actors for stating they portray a character as a/utistic when it wasnt confirmed because they did the research and believe the traits coincide. because they want to give that representation. And god this website loves taking part in b/iphobia and l/esbephobia, they erase poc from a narrative to force a believe that a bi char is strictly h/omosexual or h/eterosexual, they erase me tal disorders and disabilities to ‘relate better’, but for goddess sake there are so few a/utistic characters. there are so few. most of the time they make them villains. its the same w b/ipolar and m/pd they villify us ad when we place similar traits with characters to what we have and what we experience firsthand, we’re villified and insulted and ignored and goddess it is just, its offensive and its rude and im tired of all of it, ive been tired of lying about my a/utism to people because theyd fire me if they knew or they’d purpose treat me badly trying to make me quit, of people saying bullshit like ‘well a/utistics are prone to violence so obviously everyone who is one is a bad person’ because its not true, and especially of people who still go off on how wonderful and great organizations set on ‘curing’ us are when they think we’re a god damn disease just like the rest of the world apparently and treat us like shit. like this didnt happen today, but it happens a lot. the amount of times i used to reblog posts about characters w a/utistic traits went to the negative because of people bitching and moaning at me for reblogging it, vaguely at the dash for ‘daring to assume shit’ all of it just, im not supposed to experience stress right now because my histamine levels are actually physically attacking and killing me but goddess its hard not to get stressed out when everywhere, online and offline, people just talk out of their ass on shit and act like we should bow to their feet for actively trying to erase us from existence and take us out of the narrative, because ‘its not possible thats not how it works’. maybe get more educated than one to three psych classes before opening your mouth cause all youre doing when basically telling us we shouldnt exist is increasing the stigma against us thats getting most of us killed.
#out.#negative#im trying to keep out of the tags bc i cant deal w uneducated dickbags anymore and my work day doesnt start for another two hours but like#i think knowing i have to listen to the douchey prejudice clients today is what prompted my finally saying anything#i mean if im honest ive dealt with death threats from peopleactivrly against au/tism representation for years#and like yes i can legaly press the issue and get them arrested for harassment but thats expensive and doesnt solve anything#like beyond the anon hate i received from leople about rx friends whom i no longer speak with#to threats for any type of representation ive tried to offer for my own neurodivergence#its just. its nsane#prejudice cw#disorder phobia cw#i cant remember the word#biphobia mention#homophobia mention#more specifically#lesbephobia mentio#again im probably gonna delete this later#like i dont think this should equate to drama. ane its not a vague post in any way#as far as im aware i no longer follow anyone who has taken part in this behavior#so very evidently nobody should think im talking about them because i am not#if you do exhibit these behaviors? i havent seen it. but do maybe think it over and try to reconsider what youre doing if you do.#like again i dont see anyone doing this right now out of everyone i follow#but the behaviour has been prevelant in tumblr before for years and i think it still is#lmk if i need to tag anything else#death mention#ish#murder cw#ableism cw#thank you bean
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DAMIEN LAVEY HAS ADHD AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
this started out as a headcanon because i noticed some similarities between how he and i act. but the more i play the games the more shit crops up. heres my evidence, in no particular order. also spoilers for both games i guess
-he doesnt have object permanence
.(if you dont know, people w adhd struggle with object permanence. it isnt like 'the door closed! the rest of the house isnt there anymore! i forgot about it!' but more like 'i left this important item in a drawer and it will never cross my mind until im moving house and find it')
- run on sentences
lots of us, myself included, struggle with having run on sentences all the time. apparently it has something to do with impulsivity and making careless mistakes, but those kinda go hand in hand anyway. i talk to this mf in game a LOT and the amount of times he just goes 'and' instead of making a new sentence is uncountable
- infodumping (what im currently subjecting you to)
damien has stuff he likes. stuff he likes a lot, especially compared to other characters. ive had a good handful of interactions with him where he tells me about a topic he likes for. quite a few paragraphs
- hyperfixations
THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS HYPERFIXATED ON DOLPHINS AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE GODDAMNIT. in monster camp, theres an event where he brings up watching dolphin documentaries, and invites other people to watch them with him. he also says hes gonna make dolphin shaped cookies. and thats the type of stuff i do when im hyperfixated on something-Ill consume content of it, try to get other people to enjoy it with me, and surround myself with that thing in any way possible, even if it means making dolphin shaped cookies.
also, while other characters have things they like, nobody so far (that ive noticed) likes something as much as he likes knives and fire. and ON that dolphin thing, in the first game, his death is predicted as including an 'unusual amount of bottlenose dolphins'. so. idk he probably wanted to see them and did something stupid to get to them
id also like to note his obsession with how much he hates the sun and wants to eradicate it. not sure what youd call that but it sure is something
- RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)
damiens whole thing is that hes this toxic masculinity riddled asshole, but that personality is kinda put up as a facade. while that definitely is part of how he is genuinely, he DOES intensify it to please other people-And when thats challenged, or he shows his soft side in any way (that he tries very violently to hide) he gets super defensive. it basically plagues him and he thinks about it way more than he should, so much so that itll trigger a route where hes trying to prove how cool he is-after the other characters call him soft for liking dolphins and wanting a non-violent comic for once.
he cant even enjoy his interest in drag and makeup without feeling like he has to defend himself or be intense about it sometimes. (moss mann also says he makes flower crowns when nobodys looking, but its moss mann, so take that with a grain of salt, i guess)
hes also pretty intensely focused on trying to prove himself as a master survivalist, which is based off of the fact hes sheltered. he does not want people to perceive him that way, evidently
-impulsivity/recklessness
i dont have to explain this one. its damien
-his hatred for math
this experience might not be universal, but for me personally, adhd makes it SUPER fucking hard to do math. im bad at keeping track of things and remembering them, and paying attention without getting distracted, and he seems to have that same issue
- he interrupts people. thats it thats the whole bulletpoint
MISC
unfortunately the whole fidgeting/moving around thing is hard to prove because of the games style. he does enjoy sports and is pretty competitive, though, and i know my adhd fucks with how competitive i am (again, might not be universal, but i have that issue)
A lot of stuff im looking at also says that easy anger and irritability are things people with adhd can struggle with (i can back that up w personal experience) and damien DEFINITELY HAS ANGER AND IRRITABILITY ISSUES
anyway. thats just about everything i can remember right now. this is mostly based off of the second game because ive been playing that one more and its fresher in my mind. if u have any other evidence, give it to me, i will HAPPILY take it. anyways this image is relevant again
EDIT: adding this persons tags because . yeah
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Can i please have a headcanons for Keigo and Shinsou with a female s/o that really likes manga and anime but keeps it a secret from others because they talk shit and make fun of her? and like one day they accidently find out and she's kinda embarressed about it but they convince her that everything is fine and they think ist cute how happy they are when they talk about something she loves? Uwu :9 (sorry for my bad english)
secret anime and manga fan s/o headcannons [ft. keigo takami, shinsou hitoshi]
SUMMARY: Y/N has been hiding the fact that she likes anime and manga from her lovely boyfriend for a while now, fearing he’d find it weird. now, she has no choice but to address the fact that he knows.
WORD COUNT: 1.6k
WARNINGS: threats
A/N: your english is great bb! uwu owo this was relatable askdakjhds if anyone tells you there is something wrong with watching anime or reading manga, let me tell you that they are WRONG. i will fight them for you<3
KEIGO TAKAMI | PRO HERO HAWKS
you used to talk about animes you liked because at the end of the day they are tv shows thats it, same with mangas, they are like books but cooler lol
but people found that “weird” for some reason, because anime is a “cartoon” and thats so gross omg haha these “cartoons” make me sob um watch a silent voice and cry with me kids
anyways
you’re watching anime in the comfort of your home, just vibing. no one is coming over today, you have time to yourself to enjoy your lil show that nobody should be judging you for
well, you thought no one was coming over
keigo has a tendency to just like, show up at your house sometimes when hes bored or in the midst of an uneventful patrol. though he rarely is seen in public, especially on the streets, he does fly-bys constantly
anyways, he was bored, or just relieved of duty for whatever reason, like lunch. he is having chicken nuggets, he is a cannibal, be ashamed H A W K S, smh
anyways, he just shows up at your house, like he lowkey breaks in through the balcony of your apartment, but its fine because you leave it open for him, but normally he texts you to let you know he’s coming but today was the exception because he’s adorable and wanted to surprise!!! you!!! with!!! food!!!
so he comes in, and he sees you are on your couch, just watching your lil anime, and you are SO INTO IT MAN like you are lowkey yelling at the TV whenever a character does something, and when that one character you hate comes on you’re like throwing hands with nothing
keigo is internally screaming because why are you so CUTE
he kinda forgets for a second that you don’t know he’s there, he has no idea what’s going on in this show, and he’s still holding chicken nuggets and fries
this is why he just kinda screams at a character who does something stupid, that totally could’ve been avoided, effectively startling you
now you are both screaming for separate reasons as you turn around to look at him, and now you are panicking because oh no, he KNOWS
his wings are fluttering and he feels bad for scaring you as he comes up to wrap his arms around your shoulders, “sorry baby! but that guy is so dumb.”
you are MORTIFIED and now you’re like, “oh my god, you must think im so weird-”
keigo is confused, why would he think that? he genuinely doesn’t realize that people make fun of you for watching anime and he’s so confused by it when you inform him that a lot of people tend to find it weird
“what?”
“people think its weird so i just-” hahahhasdha keigo lowkey wants to take time out of his day in his professional agency to find out who told you it was weird and made you think you had to hide this from him because he wants to know everything about you! you are the love of his life! you shouldn’t feel the need to hide things!
now he feels like maybe he did something to make you think you had to hide your love for anime even though it is literally adorable to watch you
“baby, it’s not weird. i actually think its cute how angry you get at the characters. and i AGREE like how could he just do that-”
“wait you don’t care...?” you are BLUSHING because he thinks you are CUTE not that you didn’t know this already since he was dating you but like
omg
“of course not, also would you mind restarting this anime, im kind of invested- oh and i brought chicken nuggets”
you lowkey wanna cry he’s so cute
he can tell you don’t believe him so he sets the food down on a coffee table and takes your face in his hands and is all like, “baby. i promise you its fine. and adorable. now let’s restart this show so i can watch with you.”
he winks at you and now you’re like, “whatever no i am NOT restarting.”
then he gets all pouty but its fine he doesn’t need to understand the plot to watch with you and enjoy every moment, he also likes when you explain it really excitedly with all these hand movements, and he especially enjoys when you get mad at characters
he finds it hot
hates when you have a crush on a character he gets so jealous and is not afraid to show it kjahsdahsdsh mans will start hating the character just because you keep talking about how hot they are
“they’re just so BEAUTIFUL.”
keigo, self consciously touching his winds, “im beautiful too...”
he’s so cute
throws popcorn at the screen whenever that character comes on
SHINSOU HITOSHI
hahjsdgjasgdj
THIS BOY is so pretty
anyways you probably fell asleep reading manga, or watching anime or something like that, so it’s like 1AM and you were BINGING because that stuff is great and nobody is there to bother you while you read and watch and stuff its you time
and for some reason people have been opposed to this in the past? so now whenever people come to your room your manga are all like lowkey hidden and you make sure there is no evidence of anima
you did NOT want shinsou finding out and thinking you were weird or anything like that, even though liking anime and manga is NOT weird!!!
if anyone tells you other lmk and i will have strong words with them
so you fell asleep and shinsou comes over because he realizes he forgot something in your room, and like the GENTLEMAN he is, he knocks, but you are asleep and do not hear him!
he’s like eh worst case scenario she’s cheating on me and i end up heartbroken, and this is something he genuinely considers sometimes and he would definitely blame himself if he got cheated on
so he sees you sleeping and you are like a mess because you did not intend to fall asleep, so you’re like in your desk chair, the manga is wide open on your desk or your computer is on and there’s the still going anime aksjdhkjdhas
your neck is in a weird funky way that’ll probably hurt in the morning and shinsou is like oh no i gotta move her i dont want her in pain, he is also wondering why you look so cute because what the hell this is unfair stop it
tbh he probably barely notices the manga, like he’ll just nonchalantly close it and place it on your bedside table because reading manga isn’t weird before coming back to you, in the chair, and like picking you up to put you in bed
now you AWAKEN AND YOU ARE A L E R T because it hits you pretty fast that shinsou is here, this is NOT a dream, he probably saw your manga/anime, and now hates you and is carrying you to your death
this is all false
in the midst of your panic, you knock the both of you down onto the ground, and he’s feels so bad for allowing the two of you to fall nkjasdjakn poor bb
“Y/N im so sorry-”
“hitoshi why are you apologizing?”
he just ignores that and he comes over to you on the floor but your gaze is on the closed computer on your desk or the manga that was placed on your bedside table that you DEFINITELY DID NOT PUT THERE
he saw, he definitely saw, and now you are babbling about how weird he must think you are because of those JERKS who made you think anime and manga are weird
“what are you talking about?”
“well, people always told me how weird it was and sometimes they would... say things”
shinsou quickly realizes you were bullied because you liked manga and anime and stuff like that and now he is contemplating murder <3 what a lovely boyfriend
as someone who has experience with bullying himself, he finds this especially stupid, its literally just a show and book, and kinda wants to ask you the names of the people who told you these things so he can hunt them d o w n
instead shinsou prioritizes you and your insecurities first, “babe... no. its just anime? there’s no problem with watching it. whoever told you that was just a jerk.” jk he uses more colorful vocabulary
shinsou is completely ready to spend the next hour convincing you that there is nothing to worry about because there really isn’t
“so you don’t think its weird?” his heart almost breaks when he hears your voice and he just nods and gives you a lil smile
“not at all... actually i was wondering what was so interesting that you stayed up until” he’s looking at the time, “2AM.”
now you’re blushing but you still launch into an explanation of the entire anime and honestly anime/manga plots are so extensive and cool and well done and that just makes them so fun and complicated to explain
shinsou is trying his hardest to understand but you are very cute as you explain using lots of vivid hand gestures and adorable faces and wow he’s been distracted
will try his hardest to understand so that you can talk with him about it more often, genuinely finds it great watching you tell him about something you enjoy so much and hates that you felt the need to keep it a secret
he wonders how many times you hid away the manga or anime when he came over and feels like an inconvenience
anyways he really really really likes you so now he just listens as you rant about how cute certain characters are and lowkey gets jealous
“WHY IS HE SO HOT.”
“he’s not... that hot.” grumbling and stuff as he plays with the edge of his sleeve and borderline glares at the screen.
A/N: i hope this wasn’t bad akshfjakshdkjh
#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinso hitoshi x reader#shinsou x reader#shinso x reader#hitoshi x reader#hitoshi shinso x reader#hitoshi shinsou x reader#keigo takami x reader#keigo x reader#takami keigo x reader#keigo headcannons#shinsou headcannons#shinso headcannons#hawks x reader#hawks x you#shinsou x you#keigo x you#shinso x you
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Okay but here me out, I'm a big Johnlock shipper but I need to point this out
Many shippers be like "Johnlock should have been canon in s4" or "they were made to be canon and Moftiss didn't want to gave us Johnlock that's rude" or idk
First thing first, I don't think any directors should write new season or movies based on what fans are asking for because it will be a mess and not automatically quality (!) but nvm because lets talk about how Johnlock is written
Just like most of realitionships in this show, they're rarely precised or we dont have many quotes saying honestly what's going on between people (Adlock the forever mystery). It's all about deductions (coincidence? The universe is rarely so lazy.) And that's what I looove in this show: almost nothing is clearly declared, we have to understand and deduce what's going on between people and how they feel, just like in real life and thats the complete opposite of a commercial show/movie. This show will not only make you think with its cases but its characters, and very few links are clear (that's why Sherlock best man speech or the I am Sherlocked were breathtaking).
So what about Johnlock? We have so many proofs that their friendship (or whatever ship it is) is damn strong but also very difficult. It's first obvious because of everything they went through together- the best examples are the 2 years of John mourning and the after Mary's death, but also just the hell which is living with bored-Sherlock-corpses-in-the-fridge and all the cases and times they risked their lives together and for each other. But Sherlock is also always asking for John presence and John is always coming to help Sherlock wherever he is. Their bond is non-negotiable.
So, to the sentences "they should have kissed on the tarmac" or "He should have told Jawn he loved him before jumping or before the grenade explode in tfp" , I'm gonna react just after taking a big step back
Because I ship them and of course I would have loved this BUT im being objective and here's what I think:
All the realtionships in this show are very precious because of this subtility (the "Sherlock's actually a girl’s name" subtility yes). This thin fence shouldn't be crossed because it would loose all it's magic. The thrill, the questioning, the fact that everyone can understand their link with the same scenes we all watched, that's awesome. Here the best way to show an evidence of love is not to say the words (the fact that the only time Sherlock says it is to Molly and he doesn't mean it) or a kiss or proposal (do I need to mention Jeanine?). No, here love is hugging a consulting criminal in a pool because you're covered of explosives, its shooting a man flicking your mate's face, it's stealing a royal ashtray, it's jumping from a rooftop or simply buying milk. It's everything they do for each other and all their gazes and all their laughs. They don't need to say it, they know. And as I previously said, this show is not gonna force fate by telling you what you need to know. It's life guys, guess by yourself, nobody is holding a big sign with his role in the story. The euphoria seeing them being official wouldn't be as long as the one of watching them for hours having such weird and funny conversations or drinking tea in silence at 221b.
They're perfect like that.
The lost detective without his blogger.
The sociopath who prefers his doctors clean shaven.
The two of them against the rest of the world.
And sincerly I don't need to ask for more than a so deep realtionship which sounds better for me than a common "I love you"
So lets thank Moftiss for having written a so fascinating love story, whatever kind of love it is
but still love
#sherlock#john watson#johnlock#quotes#bbcsherlock#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#moftiss#sherlockian#watson#benedict cumberbatch#martin freeman
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Are you going to finish the Tiny Virgil AU? Cause the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger. If you don't feel like finishing the whole thing, you could maybe give us bullet points of what was supposed to happen?
Ahaha whoops, I kinda forgot that fic. at the rate I'm going, it'll take like ten years for that or any of my other fics to get finished. Tbh, I actually have a whole outline for that one? Acantha (@theeternalspace) and I brainstormed the rest ages ago and then I took our thoughts and bullet-outlined it out.
The thing is? Like, emotionally I want to hold onto my thoughts and finish it, but if I am to be completely honest, realistically it probably won't happen. Because I wanna prioritize Gibbous over it and all.
so tldr: I'd like to write more installments, but in the case I never finish it and/or you don't care about spoilers, check the read more for what happens.
warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, morally grey sides (all sides are present so beware idk its been awhile im not up to date with how the fandom handles this sorta thing)
Chapter 5
Anx cant believe he forgot about Thomas!
He was so caught up in Creativity wanting to play with him, he's forgotten about his whole purpose
He goes to the real world, worried about all the things that could've befallen his host without his guidance
Anx is confused to be faced with adult Morality and another...side?
"Thomas?"
Thomas is big, Anx is not
This can't be real, can it? How can he protect Thomas like this?
Roman shows up, but the damage is dealt (Ro and Pat converse a bit)
Virge starts panicking and panics even more when he sees Thomas affected by it
Ro & Pat try to comfort Virge but no use
It's Thomas who gets to him. Who is...helping? Why?
"Wh-why are you so nice? I'm bad, I hurt you--I do bad things."
Thomas looks sad at that. He tries to explaining that he doesnt think Virge is bad, he can be good
Virge doesnt really understand but at the same time...Thomas loves him??
Thomas offers him a hug and he accepts it. Still so confused but at least his host loves him.
Chapter 6
Virgil ends up tuckered up in Thomas' arms
"Crying is exhausting, don't like it" He complains to Roman.
"I know. You've been very brave, little prince."
It's not that late but Thomas seems nervous. "I should go to bed." (Basically feels like if he doesnt adhere to his childhood bedtime, he'll get in trouble aka lil Virgil's influence)
Patton asks if he'd like for him to accompany him and Thomas nods
Roman and Virgil end up back in the mindscape with Patton promising to follow soon after
Roman tucks him into bed
Patton comes back, looking tired, and both Roman and Patton agree to talk with Logan in the morning about things
in the morning with Virgil still asleep, Lo, Pat and Ro talk briefly
Logan shares some theories (Age regression maybe?)
Patton tells them what's up with Thomas
Roman decides to bother the Dark Sides. "If this happened before in the past, they would know, wouldn't they? And if they're behind it this time then I can get them to stop it"
They decide to have Patton look out for Thomas again and for Logan to watch over Virgil while Roman ventures out to the Dark Sides
Chapter 7
Logan mulls over what is happening
Grateful that Thomas is going to bed early at least
He is not worried, he is Logic
Tries focusing hard on his book
Virgil wakes up, disappointed to see Logan and not Roman
Roman ventures through the dark mindscape
infodump detail on how it differs vs. the regular mindscape, quiet, silence nobody is around
"HELLO" Roman screams as his brother pops up
"What do I owe brother dear for this visit?"
Virgil is worried about Roman, but Logan placates him a bit
The two end up doing a puzzle
During which Virgil randomly hugs Logan
When Logan asks why, Virgil explains "You're scared. Hugs make me feel less scared"
Logan thanks him for the sentiment but insists he is not scared
"You're scared, I can feel it. It's okay, I get scared lots of times so you don't have to." Virgil says
And then Logan's fear dissipates
He stares at Virgil, shocked, because did tiny virge take his fear away??
And if so, if tiny virge knows how to do this, has adult Virgil been doing it without them knowing??
Chapter 8
"I know you did it" Roman growls. It makes sense really. Remus did random things for sh*t and giggles
Remus blinked "Oh! You found out about ____, didn't you?"
"What no!" Roman says, disgusted. "I'm talking about Virgil."
"Wait, you think I did it with Virgil? Mr. Emo?"
"NO!" Roman snaps. "Stop playing dumb!"
The two have a scuffle, ending up with Remus having a sword at Ro's throat (who is stuck in green goop)
"I really don't know what you mean." Remus says, "What is it exactly do you think I did again?"
Logic must hate him, Anx thinks, otherwise why would he be looking strangely at him?
but its okay, even if it really really really hurts, Anx has done it before and would do it again to keep from any of them feeling pain
He asks if Anx took his fear away and he nods
surely this must be a happy thing but Logic seems even more upset
the fear grappling tiny virge is foreign. It's so different than fears he's taken before. He finds himself drowning in it. he doesnt quite understand most of it. But there's fears about himself, Logic being scared for him, not of him. (basically oh boy adult fears are much harder to process for a child Anxiety)
Logic grips his hand and asks for his fears back
"I can't" Tiny Virge says, shaking like a leaf
Logan asks it again. Virge shakes his head "I can't, I--I don't know how!"
He really doesnt know how. Usually he just holds it all in until it explodes.
Logic echoes some of what the fear is telling him, that Logic cares for him. And weirdly, it means a lot for him to hear that Logic actually cares.
But noooo he must only care because of Thomas, right?
Anyways this is resolved somehow idk lmao and then Logan is called to help with Thomas
Virgil promises Lo he'll be okay, not wanting to stop him from being able to help their host
Logan promises he'll back momentarily
Virgil squeezes Zola and tries his best to stay calm
Previously on Rem and Ro
Roman spills the beans on whats up
Deadbeat silence
Remus then babbles about how he has no clue what Roman is talking about, but is super intrigued and wants to check this out for himself
He sinks out as Roman grabs onto his ankle, but isn't enough to stop him from sinking out.
Chapter 9
"Hiya!"
Little Anx squeaks, shadows gathering at his feet, ready to strike at....
A Green-Dressed Creativity? He dresses fancily like him.
"Princey?"
Green laughs. "No, I'm The Duke! Princey's my brother!"
And Lil Virge is kinda confused but rolls with it because Creativity pretending to be someone else/splitting himself into two is a very Creativity thing to do and isn't too worried about it.
Roman shows up, fuming
However, because of Virgil, he has to play nice
They end up having a pretend tea party
Roman finds himself shocked that Remus is decent with kids? Or at least a Kid Anxiety??
He still says outrageous things but Virge giggles at them (Basically kids really have no baseline for moral right-or-wrong, they find talk of murder funny)
Roman feels a bit guilty/regretful realizing he never played much with Remus growing up
Eventually, Logan pops up slightly frazzled
He's relieved to see the twins there looking after Virgil
Explains the situation w/ Thomas to Roman while Remus and Virgil play
Patton pops up, looking slightly weary, leading Roman and Logan to insist he take a day off from watching Thomas
Upon seeing Logan & Patton, Virgil runs up to hug Logan, but shies away from Patton
Patton tries to hide his disappointment about this
Remus tries to leave upon seeing Lo and Pat are here
but Virge clings to him, insisting he stays
The Others agree, and Remus perks up a bit.
Somewhere, there's a discussion about Virge again, late at night?
Logan reveals Virgil taking fears from him
At some point it's decided to leave Janus out of it as it's unknown how little Virge would react to him and the fact that Janus most likely knows what's up and has chosen to stay out of it
It's decided that Remus and Roman will traverse the Imagination to see if there's a solution there
Logan will be with Thomas
Meanwhile Patton will look after Virgil
Chapter 10
Patton's POV
Little Virge is upset about both Remus and Roman leaving
they try to placate him but it does little. (Telling him how they'll stay safe and they don't want him going because they want to keep him safe)
Patton's heart breaks but he has to holds back Virge.
Eventually the two have heart-to-heart
Apparently the two had a classic childhood spat, that means a lot to Virge even tho poor Pat doesnt remember the spat at all.
Pat tells them they're the best of friends now, even shows him evidence
Virge feels a little better
Sees a snake stuffy in Pat's room, asks about Dee
Patton deflects
The two end up making cookies together
The Imagination is a bust, although the twins return squabbling in a good mood
And Remus has a "present" for Virgil, who delights in it.
They chat, when suddenly Virgil screams
Chapter 11
Virgil's POV
He's been trying his best to stay calm, to hold back the anxiety gained from Logan and also the other fears swelling inside of him
But it's too much, and push comes to shove. A burning sensation occurs
And it explodes
He has a panic attack and realizes it extends into the real world
Overwhelmed and upset, he runs off.
He runs off to his hideaway and sits there
Getting bombarded with fears
He's there for what feels like hours when--
"Oh my dear Anxiety" A crooning, unfamiliar yet familiar voice says
Virgil looks, surprised, to see Deceit!! There's a lot more scales and he's wearing a funny outfit but it's him
He is happy to see him albeit sobbing into his capelet because of what happened.
Dee holds onto him going, “Shhhh everything’s alright. Shhh it’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I’m sorry—“ and Virgil interrupts shrieking it can’t be his fault, because in his mind Dee would never do anything bad and it hurts Dee to know that young Virge has so much faith in him.
"You'll hate me" But Little Virge refuses to accept that. "You're lying, you don't mean that"
"Okay, you caught me. "We stay best friends forever" OR something along those lines
Dee convinces him to bring back to the others, that they don't hate him
When they return, the others "freaking out" is a mild understatement.
Dee slowly produces tiny Virge out of his capelet.
Hisses at them to keep their distance because crowding Virge will only freak him out
Apologies and misunderstandings are made clear
Thomas summons all of them and they all have a sleepover
Virgil falls asleep snuggled between Remus and Dee
Chapter 12
Maybe Roman's POV?
Along with Thomas, they have a discussion
Dee waits a bit, before revealing that he's behind the reason for Virge's current state.
As his role Deceit, he has access to both truth and lies. One lie is that Virgil believes his kid self died and is no longer a part of him--attempting to actively repress those memories
He then points out the childish aspects of each side's function. (Maybe Logan input something about growing up and stuff)
P: "But why would Virgil think this?" J: "oh gee, I wonder why. It isn't like he was made to feel like an outcast from a very young age or anything"
Instant Guilt for all
Anyways Dee explains some mishap occurred, thus reverting Virgil back to this state
You get the sense Janus isn't telling the whole truth.
Janus says he has a way to fix things, and that's when there's a noise
"Anx?"
Virge is there, standing incredibly still, slightly heavy breathing
"Anx, it's okay, we're not upset"
Little Virge heard everything and is upset but he understands
He knows Thomas needs big him, and the others reassure him that they'll be there for him, each having a small moment with him
Then he starts glowing brightly, causing them all to be alarmed, Janus included
Chapter 13
Virgil is back and boiiiiiii is he freaked the heck out
The Others including Thomas are all there, F*CK how can he ever recover after they saw him like that?
He's both embarrassed and mortified
Not to mention it hurts to have two sets of childhood memories rattling inside his head. One that was lonely and painful, and the other that was happy but fake
He snaps at Janus and ends up fleeing in his room
He doesn't duck out
He cant do that
He just doesnt....go out. He doesn't want to hear the jokes start. He doesnt want the babying or the pitying to start.
He does his job and that is that.
(inwardly he knew this would happen, but not like this)
They try summoning him (Thomas included) but he wont come out. His door is locked.
Patton slips a note under the door but Virge refuses to look at it.
Blares MCR
Somehow Zola appears in his room, and he'd like to tear it apart or something, but he can't help but squeeze the stuffed bat tight and cry for the childhood that never was.
A week passes, and there's a very sad prince at his door
Virgil ends up letting him in because look, he's not a monster
it's very...awkward at first
but they eventually have a heart-to-heart and some snarky banter
and Virgil is very confused when Princey feels the need to apologize to him
They also discuss Janus and Virgil very reluctantly agrees to talk to him
Virgil ends up talking with Janus over tea
Janus doesn't really look at him, staring at his teacup as he explains himself
and dammit, Janus has hurt him (but then again so has Virgil hurt Janus)
But a part of him really misses him. A part of him that has always missed him.
Janus explains he just wanted to know where he went wrong in their friendship, that he went the round-about way because knew Virgil wouldn't talk to him but messed with things he shouldnt and accidentally caused Virgil to revert to the age before their friendship started fraying by accident.
He admits that he almost wanted to leave Virgil that age, to take advantage of it as a way to start again, but ultimately couldnt let himself take advantage of virgil in that way
He also apologizes, telling Virgil "Showing weakness isn't bad. I told you once that you had to stay strong and not let anyone see it, but I was wrong" and that he understands if Virgil doesnt accept his apology right away or if ever
And Virgil doesnt completely accept, not yet, but he's willing to try
It ends happily with them going down to dinner with the others. (possibly Virgil having moments with the others??)
the end
BONUS, Written Scene from Chapter 11 w/ Virge's and Janus's reunion because I was self-indulgent and wrote ahead
“Oh my dear Anxiety,” A silky voice croons, so achingly familiar.
He sniffles, raising his head to meet eyes with the much older face of his best friend; Deceit. It has to be, there is no other side whose left side of face is reptilian in nature. He’s crouching beside Virgil, only one set of arms present at the moment. He’s wearing a funny outfit, but then Deceit has always dressed funny, just like Creativity. Neither of them have ever been worried about standing out.
“Dee!” Anxiety cries out, all but flinging himself onto the older side. The velocity of it flattens the two onto the ground, with Deceit letting a small grunt from the impact. He’d be more worried about possibly hurting Deceit if he wasn’t too busy bawling his eyes out into the strange cape Deceit is wearing.
Deceit strokes his hair, so soft and gentle. Then two sets of arms hoist Anxiety upwards, settling him onto Deceit’s lap. Deceit hugs Anxiety, cocooning him in a warm embrace. For a moment, everything feels normal again. As if they’re all kids still and Anxiety had sought Deceit for comfort after a bad nightmare.
Then Deceit speaks, saying words meant to be comforting. They are comforting at first, until Deceit says things that don’t make sense. And Anxiety knows Deceit is a liar, that he says things that aren’t true. But he knows when Deceit isn’t lying. They’re best friends after all.
“Shhh, it’ll be alright. Shhh, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I hurt you and I’m--”
“No!”
“No?” Deceit repeats.
“No, it--it--you didn’t do anything bad, you wouldn’t!” Anxiety says, nearly shrieking, “You’d never, ever, hurt me. We’re best friends and best friends don’t do that.”
A strange, choking noise erupts from Deceit. Anxiety looks to see Deceit’s human eye glistening. His best friend’s lips quiver, like Anxiety gets when he gets too scared to speak. Except Deceit is never scared. He always knows what to say in a situation, confident in ways Anxiety could never be.
“Oh, I’ve forgotten what you were like at this age,” Deceit whispers, so low that Anxiety thinks he wasn’t meant to hear it. Then Deceit shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him. “You’re going to hate me, Anx. Or rather, you’re going to hate me more after this is all over.”
“You’re lying,” Anxiety accuses, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Deceit’s cloak, “You don’t mean that. I love you, Dee, you’re my best friend and--and...Big Me is still best friends with you, right?!”
Deceit inhales sharply, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Before Anxiety can even grow concerned for his well being, he breaths out a long dramatic sigh.
He rolls his eyes, smirking, “Alright, you caught me.”
“I did?”
“Yes. I was only lying to scare you out of crying,” Deceit assures him, “I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking we weren’t best friends still. Of course we are.”
“G-good,” Anxiety huffs, “don’t scare me like that, Dee, I don’t like it!”
“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Deceit says, his smirk fading a bit as he takes on a somber expression, “it still isn’t your fault for what happened, Virg--Anxiety. Neither I or any of the others think it is. They certainly despise you for it.”
“Despise?” Anxiety’s heart jumps a bit, “Oh! You mean...you’re saying...they don’t despise me?”
“I don’t know,” Deceit raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you try reaching out? See what their fears tell you.”
Anxiety closes his eyes, sticking his tongue out in concentration. If he thinks super hard, he can envision everyone's fears like spider webs, branching all over the mindscape, interconnected in some ways and in others, completely disconnected in each side's little corner.
And he is the itsy bitsy spider, that scuttles about and maintains the webs to some degree. Because a little bit of fear is good, it helps keep Thomas alive. So he traces the webs and searching for what Dee suggested. There is one thread present, in every nook and cranny of the web, he searches, even in the splinter-offs. One fear that repeats and loops through the whole network that he has never seen before.
"Oh." Anxiety breathes, eyes widening. They're not afraid of him. They're afraid for him, worried about his safety and wellbeing. Anxiety doesn't know what to think of that.
#kat answers#anon#tiny virge au#and yeah this is basically how I outline fics and stuff sorry im not too funny unlike some others in their outlines
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Dear Lisette,
I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?
I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.
My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.
Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.
Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.
Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.
This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.
I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.
Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?
Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.
Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.
Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?
Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!
- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)
Dear Kat,
It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.
That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.
Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.
Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.
Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.
Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.
The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!
I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.
I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.
Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.
My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?
My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.
Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!
-Love from Lisette
P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!
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notable moments from The Bank Shot Job
leverage 1.05
I decided I’m also going to start highlighting meta material in these posts for reference reasons (like for fics, headcanons, meta, etc)
I’m colorcoading by what character the meta pertains to btw
Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.
Judge Roy: [slaps her ass] Hey, sweetheart.
Frank: Can I help you, your honor?
Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?
Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.
Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister
diSgUsTiNG
- - - - -
Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.
Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal before you can rip them off.
Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?
Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town
I wanna see that domestic shit of them sharing hotel rooms and eating the continental breakfasts and dingy diners and everything about them living in rundown hotels for two weeks
- - - - -
Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.
Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper on fire in trash can)
that’s it. that’s their relationship.
- - - - -
Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?
Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed
bruh those props ??? I wish I had a screenshot but wtf where they DOING for the con ???
- - - - -
Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?
Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son of a bitch
eliot is so good you guys im-
- - - - -
Nate: Get out. Now.
Hardison: Is he talking to us?
Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to us.
Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?
Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.
Hardison: What?
Parker: Sophie was still in there
parker knows nate loves sophie and would never leave her behind because she may not always get people, but even she can see how much nate cares for sophie
- - - - -
Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.
(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)
nate threw his fucking toothpick
- - - - -
Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...
(Eliot crosses police line)
Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.
Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.
Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...
Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?
Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a gun before.
Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?
Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.
Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?
Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...
Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are
at, you know?
Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.
Deputy Arnold: Thank you
poor deputy arnold + eliot being done with local law enforcement
- - - - -
Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan
“what’s the plan, stan” adorable.
- - - - -
(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)
Eliot: Nice ride.
Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)
Hardison: What?
Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside, 1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.
Hardison: Seriously
parker was so angry that she chucked the binder at eliot and he was like ??? we good ???
- - - - -
Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,
Sheriff ...
Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.
Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of Chupacabras.
Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.
Hardison: You're adorable
I love it when hardison fucks with people it’s hilarious
- - - - -
Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?
Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.
Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?
Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.
Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.
Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?
Bill: We're just going by the book.
Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.
Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.
parker is doing so well with grifting considering and I’m so proud of her
- - - - -
Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.
Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.
Sophie: I am a thief.
Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.
that’s it guys. that’s the show.
- - - - -
Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?
Parker: There's a first time for everything.
her SMILE YOUR HONOR
- - - - -
Parker: The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.
Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?
Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building
the way she looks at hardison like damn boy you know my stuff
- - - - -
Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.
Eliot: What's that?
Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.
Nate: We can't worry about that now.
Hardison: When do we worry about it?
Nate: In about 45 minutes
hardison, internally: lord give me strength
- - - - -
Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas. One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously? Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,
(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)
Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate. Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch, somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving. Everybody get out. Go. (hardison points at an officer) You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.
I fucking loved this monologue,,, hardison is VERY GOOD at improvising
- - - - -
(Derrick opens night deposit box)
Parker: Hi.
Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.
Parker: Yeah, I know.
Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.
Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get
parker’s face softened and you can see that she understood. parker didn’t get people in the beginning of the show, and sure her values and ideas aren’t typical, but she was ALWAYS a good person. she cared and understood what was at risk and she consoled him.
also, this is yet another piece of evidence that parker was the main character all along!!! I’m not gonna go super into it because there are already posts out there about it, but she had three (3) episodes dedicated to her character in season one alone AND had her say what is basically the mission statement of the show here in this scene
- - - - -
Sophie: Things could be worse.
Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?
Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.
Nate: I know.
Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just saying.
Nate: Yeah, you're right.
Sophie: Okay
nate knows sophie is a strong independent woman and that is one of the only things I stan about him lol
- - - - -
Sophie: We lost communication.
Nate: Yeah, we did.
Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...
Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.
they ended up doing great on their own, but also, can we acknowledge what a glow up it was building up to the rundown job ???
- - - - -
(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)
Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...
Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his knee)
Meth #2: AAHH!
Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer. (throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more, kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her gag)
Mom: Who are you?
Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.
this entire fight scene always has me ROLLING it’s so funny
also I’m not sure if this should go on the List Of Non-Weapon Objects Eliot Uses As Weapons but eliot DID use the car door in the fight
- - - - -
Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.
Judge Roy: And give up my leverage
*sophie and nate look at each other*
both, internally: tHATS OUR WORD
- - - - -
Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright
Derrick: Your people ... they're good?
Nate: Yeah. The best.
nate’s smile when he says that??? proud dad alert
- - - - -
Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.
Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.
Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!
in other words: age of the geek, baby
also- kudos to 2008 hardison editing video like that. I can’t do that shit with today’s tech lmao
- - - - -
Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.
Taggert: Do you have any idea what?
Mcsweeten: Just go with it.
Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?
Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.
Taggert: Damn, we're good!
mcsweeten and taggert stumbling onto the leverage crew’s cons and directly profiting off of them is iconic. they have no idea. too pure for this world
- - - - -
Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.
Parker: Whatever.
Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.
Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.
Sophie: Well, it's a good start.
proud mom!sophie + grifting parker
Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!
Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.
Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?
Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.
Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.
eliot casually stitching up nate’s wound bc no hospitals but also can we talk about how much nate has to trust eliot to literally operate on him
+
nate giving praise to hardison ??? rare af I don’t know her
#leverage#the bank shot job#leverage 1.05#leverage 1x05#mine#notable moments#leverage season 1#season 1
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call out post for @ratsofftoya
TW: GROOMING/PEDOPHILIA AND SUICIDE MENTIONS
recently @i-am-a-fish got suicidal baited off tumblr for the most bullshitted accusation post I've seen so far.
apparently I-am-fish is a pedophile/ potential child groomer, as said by @ratsofftoya
All because he made a joke on twitter about moving to pornhub, and follows artists that draw lolicon/aged-up smut of fictional underaged characters.
but there are some major fallacies in @ratsofftoya 's accusations (as if it wasn't obvious enough).
moral appeal:
ratsofftoya's commentary on goldie's pornhub and sex toy posts were very moralistic despite the posts clearly being a joke.
Humor is subjective so it's okay if you didn't laugh at this post, but that isn't an excuse to take away its humor to demean someone by making hasty generalizations about his fanbase. We can't confirm his fanbase is mostly kids, but because this claim is based on a hasty generalization, it is an inappropriate appeal to emotion. Trying to imply that goldie willingly exposes kids to child porn, classic "but think of the kids!" argument.
• There is no data we have on I-am-fish 's audience age demographic.
• there is no proof that majority of the fanbase are minors. that's just a hasty generalization.
• I-am-a-fish does not claim to be a blog for kids, not including "18+" in your bio does not make you a blog for kids.
I can't believe i have to point this shit out, but tumblr and twitter are not for kids. Nobody on these two platforms should have to put "18+" in their bios because nobody below that should even be on these two platforms. I-am-a-fish is an adult making adult jokes on an adult platform, to imply he could be a child groomer because he makes sex jokes that minors see is unfair because thats beyond his control. Tumblr and Twitter are adult spaces and yet we are not responsible for kids being in a space where they don't belong, that responsibility goes to the parents. All we can do about minors in online adult spaces is REPORT them.
2. cherry picking:
ratsofftoya specifically picked TWO sexually suggestive artworks by japanese Twitter artist Krskii. problem is ratsofftoya uses these two posts to portay this artist as a highly lewd/fetish account, when that isn't the case. In actuality, krskii's twitter page is a fanart page for a duo from IDOL MASTER: cinderella girls starlight stage anzu fubata(the blonde loli) and kirari moroboshi. it's a fanart page for other IMCGSS characters as well. i use to play game, its alot of fun but its japanese exclusive so i couldn't play much due to language barriers. the fanart page is almost all SFW, but ratsofftoya pick TWO out of dozens of sfw pics to solidify her claim.
you can go on Krskii's twitter and see for yourself:
and my personal favorite:
(ooh lawd this is cute i might have it as a PFP with credit!)
anyway, ratsofftoya ignored these possibilities:
• There is no proof goldie liked the two photos, or any engagement at all.
• there is no proof that he had seen it, especially out of dozens sfw art.
• just because he follows this artist does not automatically confim he has a sexual attraction for lolis or kids. especially due to how the page is mostly sfw.
• goldie could just be a fan of IMCGSS.
this isn't a creepy pedo twitter page, just an idol fan page. but what really is illogical is the commentary ratsofftoya has in regards to loli drawings. Now with using two pics racy pics, ratsofftoya came to the conclusion that Goldie is sexually attracted to children. But lolicon isn't real children, it's not real CP and it's not even a realistic depiction of humans children, so what rataofftoya did was simply pass off her opinion of lolis as fact. I'm not trying to debate on whether lolicon is okay or not and im not gonna share my opinion, because the real point isn't the subject of lolicon but the wrongful accusation. the real fact is that lolicon is still legal, but social opinion of lolicon is very mixed, our opinions on such a complicated subject is not enough to convict someone as a pedophile. you're opinions do not hold that kind of power, especially without sufficient evidence. let's actually move on to ratsofftoya's evidenced and how insufficient it is.
3. False attribution of discord chats
the screenshots provided from the discord chats do not add up to ratsofftoya's claims, making the screencaps irrelevant more than anything.
she provided this screenshot of a mod stating their opinion on aged up fanart, and claims that this opinions makes ALL MODS in that discord MAPS and Pedo apologists. problem is that there is no real sympathy for any pedo/maps in both ratsofftoya and nestbian's screenshots. if anything, it's just some bad jokes, and Goldie doesn't even say one himself.
rattsofftoya commits the same fallacy like with the loli argument; the concept of aged up characters is complicated subject, its not illegal but there is alot of debate surrounding it. Ratsofftoya makes her opinion clear that aged up artwork of characters is wrong. she uses small and insufficient screenshots to to help make her OPINION seem like a fact, and accuse the mods of being MAP sympathizers. she's convicted these mods based on a biased opinion, the concept of aged up characters is not legally pedophilic so whether you think the subject is right or wrong, is still not enough to convinct others with opposing opinions as MAP enablers.
Another issue is how she claims minors are talking inappropriately with adults on discord, but there are no such screenshots, the screenshots provided give no evidence of such accusation. With her convictions based on biased opinions, that accusations is not going to be getting any credibility anytime soon. Many of us know how discord works, it's not unusual for adults and minors to be in the same server, it's not a pedophilic thing. But one thing that discord mods do is have NSFW chats specifically for adults, while minors are exluded and stay in the SFW chats. ratsofftoya has no screenshots on minors in a nsfw chat, you'd figure that nestbian would take screenshots of that if it was actually true.
Lastly, ratsofftoya uses these discord screenshots to further solidfy her statement that I-am-a-fish is exposing sexual content to children. But you don't see goldie or any inappropriate/sexual content in the screenshots, just problematic opinions at best.
4. Bad intentions:
from what i've said in this post above, I can conclude ratsofftoya's post overrall was very manipulative and biased. I think the most manipulative part of the post was the last paragraph:
Using the idea of child exploitation and sexual abuse to pull on people's emotions, a huge inappropriate call for emotion. yet, ratsofftoya has not proven or shown any child exploitation or pedophilia at all. we have yet to see any evidence of abuse! How can I believe ratsofftoya has good intentions when I can easily break the accusations apart and see lies?
As a real victim of child grooming, i won't speak for all victims, but as a victim I really don't like my trauma being used to witch hunt innocent people. My trauma is not for woke points, it's not a badge and it's not for your ego to exploit. It's pretty clear that ratsofftoya did NOT make this post for the well being of children and grooming victims, but the post was made for her moralistic ego. If anything, to use sexual child abuse to lie about others, is exploitive.
5. consequenses:
I commented on ratsofftoya's post, mentioning that there are serious consequences to false accusations. Of course the response was immature af so not sure if she'll ever learn, but I'll say it for those who'll hopefully listen to my advice.
Call out post with false accusations can destroy lives, and put you, the poster, in serious legal trouble.
Slander and defamation on its own can get you a lawsuit, you never know who on this platform has money for a lawyer. If this person you publicly slander is to self harm, commit suicide, or lose their job, you can be legally held accountable for it even if it wasn't what you intended to happen, disclaimers cat save you from that. Just because ratofftoya says the suicide baiting is wrong, doesn't mean that she isn't legally responsible for it, I-am-a-fish can legally use it against her. Even with the legal consequences, lying in its own has social consequences and it will be brought to light.
Remember this, you broke ass college students, no amount of woke points is worth the lawsuit. If you GENUINELY see a real predator, report it!
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QUESTION OF THE DAY #6: Send me your most unpopular theatre opinion. Something that might make someone want to fight you. Please don’t be offensive (racist, misogynistic, etc.), but other than that…go as hard as you want. Spill all the tea.
MY ANSWERS: 1) The Pretty Woman score fucking slaps idek, 2) Come From Away (or even Bandstand...) should’ve won the 2017 Best Musical Tony, 3) I prefer the West End Heathers cast album to Off Broadway, 4) Shows shouldn’t sweep the Tonys just because they’re Best Musical worthy...shows that aren’t too critically acclaimed but have really impressive elements should get recognition too.
SUMMARY: Out of 37 responses: 5 were about Dear Evan Hansen, 3 were about Hamilton specifically, 2 were about: Rent, ALW, Wicked, In The Heights, Be More Chill, etc. etc....if your favorite musical is one of these and you get easily offended i wouldn’t read these.
NOTE: I agree with some of these, I highly disagree with others. I do not endorse any of the things that were said, I am simply sharing them with you all. These were what was sent to me. I’m going to number them so if you want to complain about or agree with one you can send me an ask with the number you’re referring to.
1. howmuchchildrens said: unpopular opinion: i really liked the 2012 version of les mis. i liked russel crowe as javert.
2. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Bootlegs harm to local theatre communities, though I do not believe anyone intends for that to be the case. While it's possible to bootleg responsibly (and I might even say it's beneficial to do so), those who may not know the intricacies of theatrical copyright law or who haven't heard the horror stories from a theatre that's been hit with legal action DUE to a bootleg may record or watch a show irresponsibly, which can greatly harm other routes of theatre accessibility.
3. Anonymous said: Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals are mostly terrible. He only got and stayed popular because a lot of other musical creators and taste makers died in the AIDS epidemic
4. Anonymous said: Almost all musicals using the songs of one artist are cash grabs with no plot or point.
5. Anonymous said: If your musical only has 1 woman OR the women only get sad/romantic songs you need to do something else with your life.
6. nerdshrimp said: Unpopular opinion: Next To Normal does a better job of portraying the effects of mental illness than Dear Evan Hansen does. N2N also doesn't romanticise mental illness & excuse shitty behavior like DEH tries to
7. Anonymous said: Hadestown is a lesser show on Broadway. I fell in love with the live album, and I was so excited for it to come to Broadway. I was so disappointed to see the changes they made. Orpheus and Eurydice's relationship is less interesting and more generic. The changed lyrics are often sloppy and not as good as the original. They fucking wrecked Epic III. Also, no hate to R/ee/ve, but he's just not a good enough singer to convince me that he could soften the heart of Hades. His high notes are awful.
8. Anonymous said: opinion: we are the tigers deserves a broadway run or at least a proshot
9. bimystique said: e/c is NOT A GOOD FUCKING SHIP. the ENTIRE PLOT OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is christine trying to escape erik's abuse. WHAT FUCKING PART OF THAT IS ROMANTIC TO YOU PEOPLE.
10. Anonymous said: unpopular theatre opinion(s): Dear Evan Hansen is Very Bad for its handling of mental illness, Hamilton is overrated and praised too much, and high school/college musical theatre programs can be just as good as Broadway. (also, musical movies would be better if they hired broadway actors, but that's not an unpopular opinion)
11. Anonymous said: I don’t like Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton is overrated
12. Anonymous said: I don’t like dear Evan Hansen..... at all. I think it’s kind of boring and really overhyped.
13. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion: in the heights is far better than Hamilton. both are good but ith hits different yknow
14. Anonymous said: The bring it on and legally blonde musicals are BAD! The movies are 100 times better
15. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion? wicked is the epitome of white feminism. it's preached as super great for representation but we literally got the first black glinda in 2019?!?!?!? and before that woc could only play elphaba who's villainized and deemed evil by the whole city
16. Anonymous said: Not so much an opinion as a reaction, but of all Lin's works (ITH, Bring it On, 21 Chump Street, Hamilton), 21 Chump Street gets the biggest emotional reaction of all the cast recordings. The second Justin is like "I don't want your money" (And then later on with the "...what the heck did you.... dooooo", I am a complete goner. Worse than Abuela Claudia and Philip Hamilton's deaths combined
17. Anonymous said: Whenever Je.ssie Mu.eller hits certain notes, she sounds like Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.
18. Anonymous said: aotd6: not everyone knows what im talking about, but the cats 2016 broadway revival choreography was WAYYYY better than the original. the original had a lot of creepy uncomfortable moments and the new one looks way cleaner and up to date
19. Anonymous said: raoul is better than the phantom in every conceivable way
20. Anonymous said: I hate Anastasia so much. it's such a boring show and the music is uninteresting. I wanted to like it so bad but GOD is it boring.
21. Anonymous said: In the Heights.... Overrated.
22. Anonymous said: I do not know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but here is my opinion: Musicals that are entirely or nearly entirely songs (Hamilton, Hadestown, In The Heights, etc) are the most valid bc I can understand the plot without using wikipedia (I'm looking at you, Jagged Little Pill, I love you but what is your plot????)
23. Anonymous said: I'd rather have a bad film adaptation than no film adaptation
24. Anonymous said: Rent sucks and while it was a stepping stone for more ""controversial"" topics to appear on Broadway it's actually biphobic and features several generally terrible people doing generally terrible things and doesn't actually address the real crisis at all; it's all performative wokeness. The only real good it did was cast a bunch of "nobodies" for the time and make theater somewhat more accessible.
25. stardust-and-seas said: Dear Evan Hansen doesn't properly address mental health despite being about mental health and resolves nobodies character arcs satisfactorily. It's another show that reaches its hands around the throats of marginalized teenagers saying "look I'm relatable!!" The songs taken out of context are significantly more powerful than when placed in the context of the show, which gives us exactly zero evidence of Evan's work to improve and also never resolves Evan's u healthy goals in the first place.
26. stardust-and-seas said: Be More Chill is a raging dumpster fire and the only decent song from it, Michael in the Bathroom, reads as a whiny rich white boy whose potential social anxiety and depression is left ambiguous, which is exactly what it is. When taken out of context it better exemplifies the othering that happens to marginalized groups but lets be real here: bullying/cliques don't happen to "just anyone"; it's the marginalized groups that are othered and abandoned for not being "normal"
27. stardust-and-seas said: There's a difference between shows that don't take themselves seriously because they're meant to be fun and light and shows that pretend not to take themselves too seriously but want to be taken seriously by the audience and the latter always ends up mediocre at best
28. redueka said: i think that dear evan hansen handles every issue it presents badly. i also think that beetlejuice was badly directed
29. Anonymous said: Well I don’t EVER condone cheating, I’m team Jamie in the last five years. He tried so hard to make their relationship and life good, and Cathy gave him nothing in return
30. youcanlolyoucansayohwell said: The answer of the day- I don't get the BMC hype. I'm out of the age bracket it's meant for that might it be. I enjoy it but I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world like some theatre fans do.
31. Anonymous said: i like the rent 2005 recording better than the obcr
32. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion ? : the music of wicked just like isn’t that good. like it’s good but it’s not like, Good, yknow. it’s pretty standard it doesn’t stand out to me. kinda boring
33. Anonymous said: mari.ah r.ose fa.ith is not a good regina george. everything she says sounds monotonous and while i understand she's trying to play off the ""whatever"" teenager (she does this a lot with her teenage characters), 90% of the time she sounds and looks like she doesn't want to be there; her voice is great but most songs feel unnatural and forced and she changes them too much. she's just not selling regina to me as a believable character (this is all from a technical point of view)
34. Anonymous said: Unpopular Opinion: as much as i like musicals based on movies (like waitress), i think not every movie needs to be a musical.
35. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion (?) the emojiland musical Kinda Slaps
36. Anonymous said: as one of my high school tech theatre teachers once said: "Andrew Lloyd Webber is overrated"
37. Anonymous said: sorry to whoever likes it but Seussical is an absolutely nonsense crackpot plot disguised with okay-to-good music, like I don't even know where to start. I was in the show and didn't even know there was an entire secondary plot line featuring sending children to war until we were halfway through rehearsals
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DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #9
This is to narcissistic mothers/ parents & anyone who is willing to understand.
(Written by me-for and through the lens of my dear friend, i wish you nothing but freedom from her chains. i wish you TLC)
Their ability to make everyone think they’re loving parents.
Their ability to make their kids believe that abuse is normal.
Their ability to make you believe you owe them everything.
Their ability to make themselves believe that they are right.
Their ability to turn the tables and make you believe that it was your fault.
All of this rings so true.
They do make you feel crazy; they suck the energy and ability to reason logically right out of you- and, by very nature of their narcissism, it never occurs to them that *they* might be the problem.
You can’t expect a relationship to happen with someone highly dysfunctional. how do you stoop down to the level of someone who aside from work & put all energy into keeping up an appearance can only abuse substance, speak to empty friends & post garbage.
In truth, I think the alcoholism is a symptom of her larger mental illness or narcissistic personality disorder- but it’s no excuse. Her parenting is unreliable, inconsistent, and unpredictable. There never is a sense of safety and consistency, allowing me to thrive.
I’m told to forgive & keep peace & ignore all your craziness. All the advice I've been getting on dealing with a narcissistic mother has been saying to avoid her as much as possible, or to try communicate & ‘keep peace’ as if I haven’t tried to communicate, as if I’m purposely singling her out from our already empty relationship. Well now I'm stuck at home all day, or every household or friend I bring over, she decides to involve. So much for distancing myself. The worst part is she isn't even doing it herself, she just sits around watching tv, having friends over & phoning everyone while Im expected to clean up after her and "contribute" to the family/ financially support my self for college.
- Yes, absolutely, I am the crazy one. You know what, I’m not even going to deny it, I probably have a ton of issues, most of them mental. But guess where they came from? Guess who made those problems worse and maybe even helped create them? No mom, you’re not to blame for everything or the “war in Iraq” as you so eloquently put it. But you are to blame for some it, at the very least. it’s time to take account & I will no longer be made to feel like the obligated for for an entitled narc.
I feel your claws sinking in less and less. You no longer have me in chains, I will break free from your emotional bondage even if it takes me seeming boring & silencing myself around you to not endure & tolerate your nonsense. Your words no longer fill me with despair like they once did.
This year long cold shoulder would have once filled me with anxiety but now all I feel is bliss. I no longer feel jealous when others talk about their seemingly perfect parents because I may not have that luxury but what I do have is a chance to be a "perfect parent" myself potentially one day. To be everything you couldn't and wouldn't somewhere far away and isolated from your poison.
I wonder how you feel... but I simply can’t understand or pretend to care anymore. I’m tired of putting energy into a source that doesn’t put out. When children don't talk to you unless prompted- it’s because there is nothing to be said after the plenty opportunities given to converse truly & openly.
No I don’t want to speak to your 9th friend on the phone today again about surface level things just to please you. No I don’t want to come socialise with your drunk friends & be spoken to like a child
When you have to tell yet another lie to yet another friend to mask the evidence of a broken home When you look in the mirror and only see insecurities When you realise there's no one around you and can't figure out why When you tear down someone close yet again, to feel good about yourself I wonder how you feel, I wonder if you feel, I wonder if you can...
my mom pushes me away but doesnt wanna let me leave. she doesn’t want to take into account that she pushed me to this extent. part of growth is being able to communicate your emotions properly. how can a whole 43 year old be unable to do so? I Vocalize when I’m not okay with something. Communication helps people avoid being uncomfortable, easily triggered, hostile, or passive aggressive with people. her communication is one sided and I’m the only one who gets to listen while she’s the only one who gets to talk, otherwise I’m ‘answering back’ or ‘telling a woman what to do’ even though I talk sense and out of respect in my responses or when I do try speak.
Worse yet I have to go BACK to the emotionally abusive situation that I basically fled.
What really bugs me is when you’ve given someone so many chances to do better and change. But then once you get tired of their antics, you try to move on and they continually try to reel you back in. Not even trying to change, but instead *trying* to reel you back in for their benefit. It’s unhealthy and traumatizing to say the least.
I guess i should be glad your swinging moods and emotions taught me to manage mine from young. I should be glad that I had to teach myself not to care about what you said to me and what you thought about me. I should be overjoyed that the side effect was me not caring about what anyone said or thought and basically becoming an inert emotionless void. I should be thankful that I always look fine even when I’m in pain and feeling like death and I’m capable of putting up with things that would send any sane person off the edge.
relationships are so much healthier when the goal is to experience life together and not to try to make the person into who you want them to be or to make them do what you want them to do. In my case my mother has de masculated me over the years making me soft and obedient, for her own selfish gain of having a man worship her. she decided since she doesn’t have a man, or never managed to find someone stay at home that’s he truly connected to, she’s decided the man that’s going to worship her will be me- her son. Since I resemble my father who she was in love with, she will always talk bad on me as she resents my father for not wanting her.
through gaslighting me over the years, it’s become harder to speak up, I even feel embarrassed to tell my dad even though that’s probably the only thing that will make her open her eyes and get clean. my pot is boiling though. Independence is obviously healthy but when it gets to the point where i find it challenging to actually be able to even admit that i might need assistance in this situation, problems arise. And for what? Why I’m I protecting her image? I’ve been taught to & I’m a respectable young man who won’t take joy from her exposure, but I don’t take joy from preserving information & keeping it all inside to deal with myself. I’ve become so hard on myself and still pushing through-it’s not easy, people still expect me to be a super heroe all the time. I have a hard time opening up, allowing people to help me in whatever I’m doing. I hate even admitting I need help most times. I wish I’d been taught early what my mother learned late, thankfully I was observant, self taught & still willing to learn- thankfully I’m not a follower & I know right from wrong.
The worst part about looking at the future and trying to imagine it full of hope, light and emotional health is knowing that you'll always have the scars. Emotional abusers aren't supposed to leave scars but mine managed to. And in my mother's usual style it can even be passed off as unintentional. In my case it was actually supposed to a kind act which ended badly in the way that only events in my life can seem to end.
All the phone calls to your friends, you continuously fake talk about me on a nonexistent relationship. it’s sad how you need to phone 100 people in a day and can only hold the same surface level chats. I wonder if you can grip the fact that nobody ever wants to help you with anything. you’re lucky they even listen and you’re lucky they only know your side of the story every time. you’re a great potter & can mould situations.
It’s sad that if you sense the slightest hint that people do not approve of your estrangement and they are not going to be there for your nonsense, you stir the pot and involve and buss peoples names, further spinning your web of lies.
All the pity you came to relish over the years as single mother warrior extraordinaire would simply dry up. Any attempts to paint me, your only child in a negative light would seem simply monstrous if I exposed you, but I maintain respect, bite my tongue & hold my head up because my real mother figure taught me that.
But really you have to keep up the pretense to your friends, that I was an insubordinate, ungrateful bitch of a problem child and you were a glorious brave single mother at her wits end just trying to make things work. even with the mural I painted, you forced me to mention the single mother narrative; as if that had anything to do with my art piece. I mean how selfish can you be? the art peace was to represent Sheku Bayou & the BLM movement, I didn’t even want to put my real name- I wanted to put my instagram page associated with my art because business is business and personal is personal. but to toot your horn, I added a whole separate paragraph because you wanted your name to be connected to my art piece as though I’m some sort of celebrity and it was my claim to fame. the single mother narrative is bullshit, I know tonnes of single african parents that know how to step up when it’s time to be a mother, but that’s something you’ve never known how to do. I remember you drunk the day I came here and I will never forget the words ‘I will drink myself to death if I want to’ I don’t have sympathy anymore and I’m not a saviour, I have tried and tried through hiding alcohol, attempting to converse & get her to cut down; but you can only bring a horse to the water not to drink it. how is a teenager meant to know how to stop an alcoholic junkie? I’m her son you say? If she truly cared and wanted to fix up, I would be one thing to stop her I thought.
my mother is an alcoholic. an addict. she refuses to wear those labels, but this has far exceeded the occasional ‘binge’ ‘sesh’ or ‘Prosecco party’ .Throughout middle school and high school, I would guess that half or so of the days out of the year she spent in a wine haze. Even my constant begging her to stop drinking did not stop it. Pouring her wine down the drain or hiding it made her angry and transitioned to mental and phsyical abuse. She became increasingly angry and I aged and entered high school but she was always this way since I came really. It was during this time that I would lock the doors to my room and try to hide from her in there. I still barricade my room door to this day just for my own peace. Despite all the horrendous things she did, every once in a while she did give me money, and this gets dangled over my head RELENTLESSLY... as if money buys love.
I needed to get some outside reassurance that I'm sane. Thankfully now I know and all I can do is try stay in my lane, can’t argue with a supposed adult with a brain that resembles a wall or a child.
People who were emotionally abused have spent far too long defending themselves. Justifying their own feelings. Trying to make others see and understand what they went through is a task. Abusive parents are very good at manipulating. that’s why I have ceased contact with this toxic person, i do not owe anyone an explanation.Doesn’t matter if they are a family member or close family friend. Doesn’t matter if they are a friend or acquaintance of yours. I’ve learned just to be boring , save everything interesting and beautiful about myself for those who deserve it.
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