#so usually this doesn't really affect me much it's like so what i'll read fic

[eachmostremembering]

thoughts

[niceonejames7]

the sirius watermelon fic was SO CUTE I NEED A PART TWO OF THEM GETTING TOGETHER

watermelon pyjamas pt.2

sirius finally tells you how he feels. (the classic angry confession trope) part 1

words: 1.7k

genre: literally idiots™ to lovers, roommate!sirius, hurt/comfort(?), confession, lil angst, ends with fluff.

a/n: guys this is like my first ask. eeeek! thanks for requesting and reading<3

.....

“I’m an idiot”

“You're gonna have to elaborate."

“James, please."

Sirius wasn't sure if he would classify this as a bad day. Realising he's in love with you wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him, but hearing James gloat about how right he had been was.

He had managed to avoid you that evening, even the next day, internally panicking over what to do. But he was home in the evening, ignoring that stupid warm feeling in his chest when he saw your shoes in front of the door.

He entered the room, and sighed.

I'm fucked.

“Did you buy fruit themed pyjamas?" Sirius asked, his eyes moving over the cherry printed clothing. He was annoyed, not at you, mostly at himself. He couldn't find a single explanation why this affected him so much, but it did.

“I have watermelon, cherry, kiwi and peach.” You counted on your fingers.

“Wear the peach one tomorrow." Sirius grimaced at his too quick of a response, thankfully his face wasn't visible. He wasn't very proud of himself right now.

"I meant like- as a suggestion, that sounds cute, you know." He tries to explain himself, cringing on his own words.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, amused by his eagerness, “Do you want these? You seem to like them a lot." You asked cheekily.

Yeah, sure. That's exactly why I want you to wear these, Sirius though internally. His thoughts had involved you in his bed with the pants on, maybe off, but he kept that shamefully to himself.

The next couple of days felt torturous. Sirius felt like he had to physically restrain himself from reaching for you. Anytime you touch his shoulder, lean against him, huddle together on the couch, he overthought everything.

Every touch left him breathless, every look made it hard to breath. I need help.

.

You were distraught. For some reason, for the last few days, Sirius was acting weird. He had started pulling away from you, as if watching you from a distance. No ruffling your hair, no forehead kisses, no comfortable touches. It's not as if he owed you any affection, but he had stopped.

He knew.

He knew you had feelings for him. Even if he doesn't, which you desperately hope is the truth, he has a problem. You didn't know what to do. Everytime you thought to ask him something, he'd make up an excuse and leave. He definitely didn't want to talk to you.

Lily had suggested exactly as you predicted, the usual, you should talk to him, maybe he was just busy. And other times, she had been right, but not this time. All of this had led you to the inevitable decision, something you should have done long ago. Maybe if you had, this wouldn't have happened.

……

"I'm gonna move out, Lils.” You say into the phone,"What? Why?” Lily exclaimed, rather dramatically.

You sigh,"I can't live like this. He doesn't owe me anything. I shouldn't be expecting… things from him.”

There's a slight pause before you continue,"And I can't move on if I live with him. It's too painful, and too hard."

“Here's the real reason."

Lily felt like bashing her head against a wall. How can two people be so stupid at the same time? You two were perfect for each other, both too oblivious to see the obvious.

“Listen, I really think you should just tell him, even if you move out. He wouldn't stop being your friend, honey."

You hum as she says, but part of you knows you can't say it. You don't have the guts. You hear the familiar click of the door, Sirius is home.

“Lils, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later." You hang up the phone, not listening to whatever she said at the end, too nervous to care.

Your hands are sweaty, and your hands are fidgeting constantly. Sirius comes in and can immediately sense your anxious energy,

“What happened, lovely?" He asks, his voice cooing as he moves over to you.

He's used to you busying yourself around the house, sometimes bobbing your head to music as you wash the dishes, or some other silly thing, he could go on.

“Sirius, we need to talk." You say quickly, your words too rushed, dreading this conversation.

Sirius' heart feels like it's going to lurch out.

Oh no.

He thinks that you know, somehow. That he had… he'd stopped saying it at a point. The impossibility of it all was a painful reminder. Now you're going to confront him. He's fucked.

“Okay…” He says, his voice too quiet now.

You rub your hands to pep yourself up, encouraging yourself to not lose track,

“I'm gonna move out."

The silence that takes over is one more overwhelming than any noise. Sirius is sure now, you definitely know. A dangerous dread spreads over his body, like a disease covering itself around him.

“It's not because of you, it's because of me." Sirius has the urge to scoff at the cliched statement, but his body feels too stiff, his eyes stuck on you.

But Sirius needed closure. So, whatever your feelings were, Sirius needed to hear why you're leaving.

“Why?" His voice is void of emotion. It breaks your heart.

A pitiful chuckle escaped you, “Sirius, you've made it clear you don't want me here."

Don't confront him. This wasn't the plan.

It wasn't. It wasn't even the reason you were moving out. But he was still your friend, he had still hurt your feelings. You were still mad at him, even though you had no right to be.

“What the hell do you mean?" Sirius asks, incredulous. How could he ever not want you here?

“We haven't talked properly in days. You answer me in singular words-"

Sirius cuts you off, feeling oddly defensive, even if what you were saying wasn't untrue,

“I've been busy-"

“Oh you've been busy before, Sirius. You never did this," You wave him off, but meeting his eyes, you say, “It's alright, I got the message, if you don't want me here-" Your voice rises despite your efforts as the conversation gets more heated,

"So what then? You're just gonna move out? Am I that terrible?” Sirius asks, sarcastically. Typical, you think. You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration,

"Sirius, I told you, this isn't about you,”

Right now, he isn't keen on listening to your reasoning. In his mind, it's all his fault. It's his fault that you have to leave. He's scrambling for explanations,

"Look, I'm sorry that I'm in love with you, alright? I couldn't help myself. Hell,” He laughs, pity and amusement lacing his words, “I didn't even know until a few weeks ago.”

Sirius felt like his world was falling apart. His heart has dared to love someone, and it backfired. He doesn't regret that he loves you, he couldn't. He had no control over that, ever. He was always going to be in love with you.

He only regrets that you found out, somehow. But he supposed that was also inevitable, you weren't daft.

“The point is,” His pleading eyes look at you, “It’s my problem to deal with, not yours.” His eyes are watching your face, you don't know what he might find, “Please, don't leave.”

A few moments pass, and it's as if the world is coming back to you. And one sentence rings in your head, distinct from any other sentence he's said.

I'm sorry that I'm in love with you.

“You what??” You ask, your voice full of incredulity. It feels like someone had hit you with a hammer, or pushed you off a cliff.

“I didn't want to be the guy who's your friend and then tells you he's in love with you, you know? I'm sorry that I love you, but you don't have to leave. If it matters, I will. You should stay here.” Sirius stammers out, his voice laced with pain and nervousness.

Your hands are wrapped under his, his hands clutching yours like they could stop you. They probably did stop you.

"You're in love with me?” You ask, your heart in your mouth, as if one word would be enough to tip you over.

“Please don't make me say it again." Sirius pleads, his eyes slightly watery.

Your eyes flick back and forth to both of his, searching for any kind of hesitance on his face, but it's plain. He's said those words like they were casual, as if they didn't just break your brain. There's nothing to say, or there are no words coming to your brain which are enough to convey your emotions.

A smile spreads across your lips and you bite your lips to conceal it undoing your hands from his to cradle his face,

“You’re in love with me.”

Sirius' pleading frown transforms to a confused one, and he nods, even if you hadn't asked it as a question this time.

You laugh, a watery laugh before you meet your lips to his, smiling too hard to kiss him properly.

Sirius feels like his body is on autopilot, his hands immediately cradling the back of your neck, his other one holding your wrist, his lips immediately responding to yours, as if it was all too natural.

In all his ‘foreseen’ outcomes, this hadn't been a possibility.

He smiles too, confusion still evident at the back of his mind, but he could only focus on the feeling of your lips on his, your hands holding his face.

His head tilts as he tries to get a better angle, desperate to know your tells and signs, his hand wrapping around your waist to pull you closer.

You smile again, breaking the kiss but his lips chase you which makes you laugh more, and he hides his face in your shoulder, laughing along with you.

“You're in love with me," You say it quietly, as if you're confirming it to yourself, but he's too close by not to listen.

“And here I was, moving out because I wanted to get over you."

His head whips up, his face dumbstruck,

“What?"

“Mhmm." You bite your lips, and Sirius has half a mind to kiss you again.

“You're also in…." He trails off, his expression confused but you know exactly what he's asking,

“Sirius, I just kissed you."

“Yeah, but what if you just took pity-" You shut him up again, and he melts, exactly as you intended, moulding his body to yours, trying to get as close as he can. If this was your way to shut him up, he could get used to it.

"Wait, so you're not moving out right? Because-" And his words are cut off again, the same way from before.

He smiles against your lips, again, ecstatic. Giddy, even. Sirius could get used to this. Sirius could get used to kissing you as he arrives home.

All this because of fucking watermelon pyjamas.

[cozy-cinnamon-roll]

A Princess' Guide to Interrogating a Radio Demon (Part II)

(read Part I here!)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Ler!Charlie, Ler!Vaggie, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)

Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, interrogation (in the most playful sense). If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige.

This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.

First: MAJOR thank you for all the sweet notes and feedback on Part 1 of this fic! I was not expecting such an enthusiastic response, and it really made my week! So grateful to be part of this lovely community 💕

As promised, here is part 2... This one gets a little more intense than the last, but it's still all for fun (and Al can handle it 🤭) So excited to share it with you all!

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Vaggie is never quite sure what she's going to find when she hears a commotion elsewhere in the hotel - especially when it's coming from the direction of Alastor's room.

But nothing could have prepared her for the sight of her girlfriend pinning the most powerful overlord in Hell to the floor, tickling him to hysterics.

"Uhhhh..... Sweetie?"

"He won't tell me where he hid it!"

Vaggie just takes it in for a second. "So you're tickling him?"

"How else am I supposed to get it outta him?!"

"That's an... unconventional method, babe."

Charlie pauses her assault to shoot her girlfriend a deadpan look over her victim (who merely remains sprawled out on the floor beneath her, using his reprieve to take in as much precious oxygen as possible).

"You think I'm stupid enough to threaten real harm on The Radio Demon?"

That remark draws a maniacal little chuckle from the crumpled heap.

"Doesn't sound very effective," Vaggie observes.

But Charlie is too busy growling taunts at her victim again, tazing him in the sides. "Sorry, did I say something funny, giggles? Huh?! Did I?"

Vaggie can't help but smile herself at how hard it is for her girlfriend to keep a straight face during her "interrogation." She pokes and prods and scribbles all over the poor man, until his distinctive cackle echoes from the ceiling. And then she sits back on her heels, practically beaming with delight as he continues to shake with residual giggles.

At one point Charlie flashes her girlfriend a goofy grin. "I really think I'm wearing him down."

"Oh yeah. Absolutely, babe." Vaggie leans back against the doorframe with a smirk. "He really looks like he hates this, doesn't he."

As Charlie goes after his ribs again, Vaggie tilts her head. "He's lost his weird radio buzz."

"Oh!" Charlie abruptly clasps her hands to her chest, eyes wide with sudden worry. "Are you okay, Al?"

"Heh - yes, yes, of course..." While he is indeed too drunk on laughter maintain his usual tinny radio filter, the tiniest hint of a wheeze still edges his voice - which surprises Alastor himself more than anyone. His evil cackle is, after all, one of his signature intimidation techniques, and it's never affected his voice before.

But the uncontrolled, helpless hysterics Charlie's had him clutched in is very different from what he's used to. For all his practice intimidating his victims with a well-timed chortle, it appears his genuine laughter is rather rusty.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Still breathless, Alastor can't help but chuckle at that too. "...Y-you are aware of what an 'interrogation' is, right?"

Charlie's look of concern drops to a mild glare.

"Alright, babe. Step aside." Vaggie curls a dangerous little grin of her own. "I'll handle this."

As he sees Vaggie striding toward him, Alastor scrambles to sit up. "Wait, wait- Vaggie, dear, can't we-" He presses backward, only to find himself cornered between the couch and the coffee table. "Er- can't we talk this over?"

Vaggie crouches down. "You wanna tell me where Angel's speaker is?"

"No."

Fingernails are crawling up both sides before he even registers movement. Poor Alastor is clutched over cackling within seconds.

Charlie may be a surprisingly effective ler, but it quickly becomes clear who taught her: Vaggie is ruthless.

"Get his tummy, that's his weak spot!" Charlie chirps, not even bothering to hide her delight any longer.

"Chahaharlie!!"

Alastor actually feels a spark of legitimate panic as Vaggie's nails find their way to his upper belly, tracing along the lower edge of his ribcage, sending his laughter silent for a moment.

"Hey, if you really want me to stop, you can just tell me what I wanna know."

"YOou cahan-" (gasp) "-PRY it from my-" (brief giggle fit) "-cold, dead-" (wheeze) "-fingers!!"

"Yeah? I'll show you cold, dead fingers..."

Alastor feels a hand slip under his shirt.

"AaaaAAAHH! No, no, Vaggie don't!"

"Oooh, this is a good spot, isn't it?"

"NO don't do that- please please please..."

"What? You don't want me to do this?" Her fingernails skitter across his bare tummy. The poor man can't remember the last time he laughed this hard at anything - which, for someone who literally hasn't dropped his smile for decades, is a pretty high bar to clear. And he's gotta admit, it's the best he's felt in weeks.

"Don't kill him," Charlie pipes up, "I still need him to help run the hotel after this."

"I'm not gonna kill him." Vaggie leans in close. "I'm just gonna keep tickling this sensitive, vulnerable, unbearably ticklish little belly, up and down, over and over, on and on..."

The surge of radio static induced by this one sentence is so intense that it leaves Alastor's own voice virtually incomprehensible for several seconds. He tries to summon a shadow creature, a tentacle, anything, but he's so disoriented the shadows dissipate before they can be directed anywhere.

And that's finally what breaks his resistance. Being rendered helpless under Charlie's fingers is one thing, but being unable to use his powers at Vaggie's mercy is considerably more unnerving.

"OKAY, OKAHAY! I'll talk! I'll talk!"

Vaggie lifts her hands off him, though they remain hovering just a few inches over his torso.

It takes a solid minute for Alastor to catch his breath. "For heaven's sake, you could've just asked me..."

Vaggie scrunches her fingers in the air a couple times, causing the radio demon to fold up like a lawn chair.

"Ack! Nonono I'm kidding!! I'm kidding!" He fights back a fit of nervous giggles.

"Ten seconds to spit it out before I go borrow Nifty's feather duster."

Alastor rolls his eyes. "Oh please. You think you can threaten me with cleaning tools? Don't be ridiculous..."

"Five seconds." Vaggie turns to Charlie. "Hey babe, have you tried his ears?"

A little squeak of microphone feedback. "13th floor hall closet, second-to-top shelf, under a dead rat."

Charlie recoils. "Ew! Al!"

"Pardon, two dead rats." As Vaggie withdraws her hands Alastor sits up, brushes himself off, and reaches for his microphone. "Second one came along as I was arranging the first, and... offered to help."

Charlie just stares at him in horror as he stands and twirls his mic with his usual classy flair, the very picture of eccentric elegance - as if he hadn't just spent the last twenty minutes being reduced to a hysterical mess on the floor.

"Is there any point in warning you not to pull something like this again?" Vaggie mutters, more to herself than the demon.

"No. But you can if it makes you feel better." Alastor grins and offers a hand to Charlie as she gets to her feet. "That was a lovely chat, my dears. Next time I need a good laugh I'll be sure to commit another petty theft."

Charlie rolls her eyes as he turns on his heel and strolls off.

"And let me know if you need help finding the batteries for that speaker," he tosses over his shoulder.

"OH you little piece of-"

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This was such a fun fic to write! Hope you had fun reading it too.... let me know what you think!

💜 - Cozy

[inkblot22]

(PS I don’t actually know the source material for idia I just stumbled upon one of your fics while looking at FFXIV Yandere fics so sorry if this sounds OOC)

I’m not super creative but what do you think might actually be Idia’ routine with his darling? Does he fall into any routine, does it change a lot?

Have a wonderful day (and happy late bunny day!) 🫶

I actually am of the opinion that this is a very creative thought! You should give yourself more credit. I like to idealize the day to day life, but it never occurred to me that writing it down might be a good idea. On that sentiment, I think maybe Vil or even Leona would have a better day to day routine. Dividers by @/cafekitsune

Also, wow, what a pipeline, FFXIV to twst?? You've got good taste lmao welcome to my blog.

I'll put this under the cut, and I'm also not promising that this will be very good. I use the 24 hour clock. I am constantly getting told irl that American people don't do that, but I'm evil, so I'm putting the times in 24 hour clock format.

TW for mentions of noncon, coercion, captivity, someone keeping someone else awake, a hint of Idia being an asshole

+ Idia doesn't really seem like he has much of a set schedule, but Ortho absolutely does and Ortho is lowkey kind of bossy, so...

+ Yeah uh, Idia's partner is absolutely out of luck. Idia likes night gaming a lot, and he gets loud, so good luck sleeping. Idia himself goes to bed late and wakes up whenever the heck he wakes up. He could go to bed at 0300 in the morning and wake up again at 0700.

+ As his kept partner, the schedule is a little more normal, like I said. Ortho doesn't really need to sleep from what I understand, (I haven't read all of book 6, no spoilers or else I WILL temporarily block you) but it's silly to imagine that he doesn't wake up or attempt to wake up everyone else around him as early as 0600.

+ After waking up, Idia will eat breakfast. I think it'd be delivered usually since Idia and his partner are basement dwellers, one by nature and the other by force. After breakfast begins work...

+ Or procrastination. Idia flip flops between extreme focus on what he should be doing and what he should not be doing. He manages to get his schoolwork done, but more often than not, he's asking his partner to cuddle up and watch a movie, drama, or his fingers flying across the keyboard. Idia will not ask them to cuddle if he is doing schoolwork or virtually attending classes.

+ I like to think that he smells smoky, on account of the flaming hair, and he runs hot, so prepare to SWEAT. In the case his partner doesn't really want to hang out with him, he will usually sulk and only occasionally get upset to the point of doing something about it.

+ I don't think he showers every day. I think he's an every other day type of showerer, based solely on him not being particularly active. This means that his partner doesn't have to run on his showering schedule and gets extra hot water on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

+ By the way, in the case that Idia's darling ever gets peckish, Idia has a snack stash that he proudly pulled out and showed them as soon as they were allowed to wander a bit. I figure they get hungry some time around 1400, especially if Idia is also eating at that time.

+ I think his metabolism is fast, but also a bit odd. He is a young person, and therefore he strikes me as the type to get randomly hungry. If asked very nicely (and with the promise of physical affection in some form) he'd be incredibly willing to make his partner something to munch on when he makes his own.

+ Despite Idia's partner being literally held captive in his room, with all his suspicious items and, worst of all, himself, Idia is about as respectful as a kidnapper can be about demanding sex. He doesn't like to be physically forceful about it, and he often will just jerk off in the bathroom.

+ The reason for this is very simple: If Ortho ever saw Idia having sex with ANYONE, Idia would spontaneously combust. Well, obviously he doesn't know that for certain, but it's a theory that he is not willing to test. He won't even talk about his preferences around his little brother.

+ As far as I'm aware, most people in captive situations do not tend to ask their kidnapper to fuck them unless they're being threatened in some way, but Idia's partner isn't typically being threatened (ignore the shock collar,) so they never ask Idia to have sex.

+ This does not stop Idia from being a whiny bitch about not having sex enough as soon as Ortho is gone for a few hours. The close quarters and sudden advent of a human being who he doesn't mind touching him is a big thing for Idia.

+ Ortho goes on "walks" in a sort of unusual schedule. That is to say that he doesn't have a schedule. If something needs to be picked up, he's tired of Idia not listening to him, he has his own stuff to do, or he just feels like it, Ortho will go out, sharing his location with Idia. From there, Idia will typically calculate how long it'd take Ortho to get back paired with whatever Ortho said he was going to do before he left, and see if he can squeeze in some coerced touching.

+ So. Good luck, Idia's partner. Idia will make a big stink until he gets bored or his partner gives in. His partner usually gives in, based on fear of what he might do alone.

+ Bedtime is somewhat randomized. If Ortho was out, when he comes back and it's any time after 2000, he will very subtly try to get Idia and his partner to start winding down. If both or one ignores him, he'll start getting upset.

+ Like I said, Ortho is kinda bossy. He will nag someone, and the worst part is that he's usually got their best interest in mind.

+On the off chance that Idia decides to go to bed at a decent time, he curls up behind his partner. He runs hot and smells smoky, and at some times it's not the worst thing. Some times.

+ By the way, a lot of this flies out the window in the event that Idia decides to attend classes in person. This is rare, so don't expect it to happen often, but it's not as good as it could be. Ortho goes with him and he locks up any way to reach the outside world, so all his partner has to entertain themselves is his manga collection, or the fun pastime of destruction of property. (This is a very bad idea, and I can expand on punishments later.)

+ In Idia's partner's case, every day is much of the same but just a little different, which makes it hard to keep track of time. The fact that Idia prefers low lighting and no natural light doesn't help this whatsoever.

[cruyuu]

Hi!

My thoughts about what I'm about to point out aren't coherent yet but you're the first person I thought of when it came to me

So Yuuji's still missing his left pinky finger after Sukuna changed vessel and RCT can't fix that because that's a piece of Yuuji's soul that was ripped off

And now I'm following the theory that the finger in the last panel is the one that was imbued in Yuuji from birth that he removed himself through his ring finger

And in my brain it's like 'there's some skit bs going on here' and idk if I'm making sense because I'm not sure of where this is going 😅 but with the left ring finger being associated with engagements and weddings getting rind of the last piece of the other's soul through that finger could be akin to throwing away your wedding ring (the divorce era is real) but maybe they've rotten my brain a bit too much

In any case I'm looking forward to any thoughts you have on this chapter (and thank you for reading my ramblings) <3

Hi there anon!

I love your thought process and the fact that you remembered that! It would be extremely fitting (even if far-fetched for those who are not as insane as we are) because they just big sigh. They just have to act like that and be that way lol. I wouldn't put it past our dear author who delivered a lot on sukuita week no less (that is still some crazy coincidence) to again make something about them both. If not the finger, then the soul connection, if not that then something else. Like Gege definitely didn't need to write Yuuji chasing after his inner demon and spending time with him (hell, saying he was frantic and wanting Sukuna to indulge him), especially not when that same demon is someone who continually kept ruining his life and took the very person Yuuji confessed he feels lonely without, but here we are.

I'm waiting for the official chapter to drop so I can really get the whole picture since leaks are just a tiny piece. Shipping aside, I don't know what to make of that panel with Sukuna's finger. jjk is pretty close to ending now and hence, I am skeptical. I really wish for there to be another arc after Shinjuku because it feels very off to me to end everything in like two more chapters. I'm hoping for more because it still feels like there's more left. Maybe I'm just insane and will be missing this manga a lot which is why I'm sensing that, idk.

Divorce arc has never been realer now and it's lowkey slightly painful to me since Yuuji wanted a compromise. What's very fucking funny still is that Yuuji reached out to him, first and foremost, realized he can't affect him (that sad look in his eyes) and then switched back to his usual response. Meanwhile Sukuna's still pretending he doesn't care even though he indulged Yuuji and spent nearly an entire day with him before he finally snapped when he realized Yuuji was sad about him lol. Still, the vehement anger Sukuna feels is keeping me rather well fed because Sukuna has no business being so against Yuuji saving Megumi. Like why?? He had no trouble being patient and even explaining his viewpoint when Yuuji DE-ed them away and talked about himself, but then the second Yuuji mentioned saving Fushiguro, he's shaking with rage and promising to kill everyone Yuuji loves.

Chapter 265 is literally:

yuuji: spend some time with me

sukuna: ok

yuuji: so here's what i realized

sukuna: why are you telling this to me oh my god i don't care like i understand your point but i don't feel anyth—

yuuji: i want to save fushiguro

sukuna: 😡🤬😡🤬😠😠🤬😡🤬😡😠🤬 (that wasn't meant for me?!?!?!?!)

I am also brain rotting hard about everything. 266 fueled my brain and filled it with one-sided sukuita fic ideas which are just peak angst and I live for angst so yeah. I'll have to get to writing soon because I have a lot of ideas for these two (the writers block is keeping me away from that, as is my slightly limited english vocabulary and real life unfortunately).

Thank you for sending this ask, anon, and also thank you for listening to me ramble about these two as well! <3 I'm more than happy to discuss these two for eternity because they just make me insane.

[gwendeeagain]

What do you think of Siblings Karushuu AU ?

Short Answer:

It's fine, they're cute... I guess. I don't care much for it, not because I dislike the idea, but because I feel like them being siblings doesn't really add much to their existing dynamic.

Long Answer:

I attempted to write Siblings!Karushuu early on. I have 1 complete oneshot, and I think one WIP (I don't remember if I published it in my Scrapbooks collection).

Thing is, I'm not sure what exactly about them being siblings is a draw as opposed to them being unrelated or just interacting in any other premise.

The both of them already have quite a robost family setup that influences their personality - Karma with absent parents, Gakushuu with his too-present father (and ?absent mother).

Sibling AU fics that I've read tend to shoehorn in Gakuhou to be Karma's father, which is expected since he's an established character in canon, and his role can't be omitted without too much damage to the rest of the plot. (Furthermore, if you're the kind of person who is writing a Karushuu siblings AU, you're clearly interested in the Asano family dyanmic (that's actually all there is to Gakushuu) so you're just not going to omit Gakuhou.)

Unfortunately I've observed that this rarely influences anything about Karma. Karma either remains as he is in canon and it's explained that he's a black sheep in his family to have ended up in 3-E, or the plot puts him in 3-A and it's explained that he either has an impending transfer to 3-E/it's his last chance; or that his nepotism is what keeps him in 3-A. Karma's values and principles about academics and the inherent worth of human beings is rarely affected in these retellings (because that's what people like about Karma) but because that's Gakuhou's main shtick, it feels like the whole premise didn't matter at all.

There's even less to say about Gakushuu's mother because neither Karma nor Gakushuu's mothers are present in canon anyways and it's easy to just explain them away as unimportant, given how much space Gakuhou takes up in the mind. Usually I read that their mother takes off with Karma and leaves Gakushuu alone with Gakuhou, so... no changes there.

Another potential appeal is the sibling dynamic between Gakushuu and Karma - but then I'll just question what exactly about a sibling relationship differs from... any other relationship between two unrelated people. Karushuu in canon already has the sort of snarky-bantering-rivalry energy anyways, if that's the thing you're looking for. I've seen fics that write them as estranged by having their parents split them up as kids, but then that's essentially the same as a childhood friends AU. I guess we really can't replicate familial love and the obligation of being blood related unless it's this specific context. The idea that they're cut from the same cloth, only separated by time, but they will eventually reunite... oh hey, we can make them soulmates, put a curse on them, or make a demon pact.

There's also the resentment angle, as overcompeting siblings tend to have, "you look like the other parent" acidity if we throw in a divorce plot. But that doesn't affect their existing interaction, I feel - it gives them different things to say when they fight, but they're still rivals as they would in canon.

I don't know. My point is that I guess I can't think of a premise that would interest me in a sibling au above any other au if I had the option. Any differences that do arise feel miniscule and don't affect the broad strokes of whatever I'm looking for in a fic.

...Not even incest, which is a hot take. Yeah, I read/write and enjoy incest. But come on, whatever Gakushuu and Gakuhou have going on in canon already is far more interesting than anything I could ever manufacture for sibling Karushuu. The strange enmeshment and tension that the canon Asanos have in Mamasano's absence, ...could work similarly to sibling Karushuu's furtive us-against-the-world codependency under their Father's omniscent gaze... if you're into that sort of thing. I could be, but more often than not the Asano family dynamic pulls me away from looking elsewhere.

I mean, I'm just not into the siblings thing. You could be. Don't take this post as my condemnation of Karushuu siblings, I still enjoy reading them and the quality of the fic takes precedence. I've had my expectations pleasantly subverted before.

Hehe thanks for the ask! I love rambling

[the-amber-raven]

Hi! I just found your account on AO3/tumblr, i've read the buddie on AO3 once before and i loved it. But the most recent one with the Bucktommy one... i stopped everything i did(and the fact that i had a deadline didn't even stop me from reading it) and loved it!

I cried a river when Daniel dissapeared... because i thought maybe he would stay for their whole stay in the Buckleys old house...

It was very beautiful, and i'll probably go back to read it again from time to time!

If you don't mind me asking, did Tommy ended up crying aftee Daniel left? And what were the Buckley siblings reaction? These kept me awake just imagining all their reactions. And with Tommy's ability to speak with ghosts in this universe of yours... what would be your take on Billy Boils?

Sorry for the long ask, i'm just curious on what your take is. And the fact the i love the way you tell the story made me want to know more!

Helllloooo I am so sorry about how long this reply took! I had every intention of replying earlier but then Last Week happened and I got sick this week and its been A Time.

Firstly, thank you so much!! It's so nice to hear that you enjoyed all my stories and that the ghost fic affected you in particular 💚 I've really grown to love that fic - it's different to what I usually write (even though I managed to squeeze some shenanigans in there) but I really enjoyed it.

As for your questions:

Did Tommy cry? Probably eventually yes. I do think he probably would have glanced over at the empty picnic table at one point, after being immersed in the total joy of the Buckley(-Han) family watching the frogs and the juxtaposition probably would have made him tear up. But for tears - I kind of see that sneaking up on him. Like one day, in a few weeks or a few months, he thinks to himself that it's been a while since he spoke to Daniel and it will hit him again that he won't be seeing him again and the grief will come over in another wave that will bring tears along with it.

Buckley siblings reaction... I think Maddie would first just feel really settled that she got to help Daniel move on. She dealt with a lot of her grief during her PPD treatment, so she'd already felt like she'd gotten the chance to say goodbye but the guilt of allowing him to be erased by their parents lingered and knowing that she has now helped him move on eased that. But then something happens - again, it's further down the track, probably months actually because Maddie is pregnant again, and Jee is flipping through all the photos and notes from their adventure around the lake and talking about how much fun it was and how she can't wait to be able to take her new brother or sister there because she loved it so much and wants to share it with them and it just kind of hits Maddie that this is what Daniel was robbed of and the grief rolls in again.

As for Buck, I think because Daniel is still a little bit of an abstract concept for him he also would have first simply reacted by being happy that he had managed to help his brother (the brother that he still sometimes can't help but think he failed despite all the reassurance to the contrary). But they stay in Pennsylvania a few more days, sticking to where they used to live when Daniel was alive, and Maddie sometimes mentions the places they enjoyed going to, like the ice cream parlour they would go to when Daniel wasn't quite so sick. Maddie is able to order the exact same sundae that she tells Buck they got to celebrate their new baby brother. And these anecdotes start to give more life to Daniel, ironically enough, and when they visit Daniel's grave he just gets bowled over with the fact that this was his brother and he is gone. He tries his best to hold in the tears but Tommy clocks his struggles and makes an excuse for them to split from the main group. They go elsewhere in the cemetery - Buck doesn't want to leave yet, because he does want to go back to Daniel's grave - and Buck just cries.

This got super long, so I'm actually going to put the Billy Boils question in a separate post (and also because the ones above got angstier than expected and I feel like it would give you emotional whiplash if I add it here now 😂

[the-s1lly-corner]

Knubbler hcs (Fluff alphabet edition)

Ik I just posted a fluff list to do with CRP characters last post but I also wanna do it with Knubbler because this fucker has been on my mine for WEEKS and I gotta feed my fellow dick enjoyers

Obvious heads up on heavy hc stuff since we don't have much on this dude RAAAAAAAH + still developing my hcs

Long since its A-Z, not proof read and I wrote this in one sitting I need to be put down

Attraction-

Torn between wanting to say he has high standards but I'm a dickface shipper sooo (/lh)

I can't explain it but I feel like he'd be into the feistier people; more dominant and outspoken, that sort of thing, ballsy. Also balancing with being chill so it's not just. Constant energy

Balance, you know

Appearance wise? I'm stumped tbh so maybe I'll revisit this later some day

Bonding-

While he enjoys dragging you around and spoiling you (getting into that for D + G), he does enjoy time spent at home with you! Knubblers always been the type of person to sit by a fire reading a book with a glass of wine; in a robe of course

At least he does to me

Calm stuff like that is a must

Oh how I crave domestic life hcs with this man

Cuddling-

I don't have PDA on this list so imma let it be said, this man loves affection, giving and receiving. Absolutely adores being all over you at all times and not at all afraid to show you off

Going to the actual prompt he doesnt care if you're larger or smaller than him, if you sprawl yourself over his chest he will melt!!!! Hold each other!!!

Dates-

This man is going to pour so much money into these dates

Could just be because we saw him take Abigail out to dinner but my brain defaults to restuarant dates, but otherwise I feel he's also a museum enjoyer (historical, art, ect)

Emotion-

Of course since this for reader insert stuff I can't exactly say who's more emotional so we're relying on Knubbler

I feel like. He's moderate, based on his interactions with Dethklok

He's patient by a considerable amount but has his limits

Absolutely pours his heart and guts out to you when hes drunk, though, not that he doesnt already shower you with compliments and affirmations

Wanna put him at a 6.5/10 when sober, and solid 8/10 when drunk

Family-

He doesn't strike me as the type to want kids, honestly, not that he has anything against them though, it's simply not what he wants

I saw someone hc a while back that he would have a bunch of siblings and I'm HARD agreeing on that + adding my own thing that hes an uncle

Need to write a silly fic where he's assigned as babysitter for a day (I desperately need more solo/knubbler centered stuff)

Gift Giving-

Nearly every week or so he will buy you something from flowers to jewelry to stuffed animals to fancy chocolates to really anything

If you so much as mention vaguely wanting something hes pulling out his wallet

This dude is likely loaded (based on working for Dethklok and being successful prior judging by the newspapers at the end of episode 2) so he's not afraid to drop some cash for you

As for receiving gifts he doesn't hold you to the same standard regardless of your income but he would be thrilled with anything you give him, I feel like hes a jewelry guy but maybe that's just because I like drawing him with rings

I feel like he'd go bonkers for baked good though

Harsh-

You guys may butt heads but you guys probably wouldn't argue too much outside of the basic disagreements that happen in every relationship!! Usually apologies for lashing out (if he does that in that particular argument) but will refuse to apologize if there's an actual problem that needs to be addressed (if said problem is on your end)

King of compromises (learned trait from working with bands me thinks)

Injury-

Depends on the severity

Knows very very basic first aid (cleaning, applying pressure if it's an open bleeding wound, cool water if it's a burn, ect) but more than that he's lost

Swearing and a bit of panic if it's something more serious, this is true for if hes the one hurt as well

If you're the one hurt hes going to hover all over you. Oh nooo please dont tell him hes your savior/hero, please don't make him reel good for pampering you oh NOOOOOOO (stares)

If hes the ome hurt hes going to bask in the attention if he needs to be taken care of, hypes up splinters/j

This stuff also applies to sickness

Jealousy-

Oh this is one jealous motherfucker. He will *glare* with those red pin prick robotic eyes of his

If someone's flirting with you he will saunter over and wrap an arm around you, loudly and sharply calls you babe to get the point across

^Kinda cliche but I feel like this man is a sucker for tropes

But if you're like actively uncomfortable I think he might have to intervene

See: his criminal record and the fact he "knows people who can 'take care of someone'", whether he'd actually follow through depends

Kisses-

Recieving he loves when you kiss his face; mouth, cheeks, nose

Giving, really everything is fair game if you give the go ahead; has a particular fixation on your hands (backs and knuckles), cheeks, and neck

Love anything from quick pecks to full on make out sessions

Love Language-

Physical touch and gift giving! Sometimes the gift giving can get intense since hes so ready to treat you like royalty but he doesnt mean anything malicious by it

As for receiving he has a soft spot for affirmations

Marriage-

He goes either way I think, but leans further to no marriage

That doesn't mean hes any less committed to you, though

You guys probably get matching rings even if there isn't a ceremony or legal thing, I think

No-

A deal breaker is like. If you're genuinely a bad person or a threat to his career

Like theres a difference between the shit Dethklok gets into and what you would have to do for him to cut you off full stop

Though I'm stumped on what exactly would call for that outside of being a genuinely horrible person, maybe I'll revisit this later

Oddity-

His laugh is the first thing I can think of. While I think the original is silly and cute in its own way, I'm kinda glad they changed it in the movie

He laughs at his own jokes and has a killer hair routine he follows religiously. Shitty innuendos, too. I am not going to let this man live down the hot dog thing and I KNOW it ain't a one off thing there is no way, this man gets no bitches (using Nathan's "you're horrible with women" comment as leverage)

Outside of that I dont think there's many quirks or habits that are worth mentioning

Petnames-

By law he has to call you Baby/Babe but I can also see him saying Hon/Honey, maybe even Sweetheart

Loves being called things like Dear and Darling

Question-

Loves coming to you to ask if you wanna give a second opinion on something hes working on, work related or not! Hes more than confident in his skills regarding sound engineering, but he likes getting the attention and time from you

Risk-

Skipping this because I'm truly stumped on trying to figure out how far hes willing to go in a relationship in terms of taking risks

SHH-

Has a few secrets, ranging from personal stuff to things that ultimately don't concern you

And that's okay, as long as it's not anything that can screw you or the relationship over, privacy is necessary

Probably has a lot of secrets surrounding dumb or embarrassing stuff hes done before and during the relationship

Tunes-

Obligatory I have a funky sense of music and while I want to choose a song that fits the time period of the main show to the decades before I'm a bit lost. Also I dont generally listen to love songs/songs that can be passed off as ones if you squint. So you guys get 2 songs that give me knubbler x (reader/oc insert) vibes

And

Upset-

When Knubbler is upset he shuts himself off and tries to get over whatever funk hes in, usually a glass or two is involved

Occasionally he'll seek you out for comfort or validation

If you're the one upset he's already lending you an ear and offering a shoulder to lean on (metaphorically and literally), gets mad on your behalf if someone upset you and offers solutions if it was something else

I like to think that you guys dedicate nights for venting and unloading on drama and bullshit. Like two gossiping moms

Valentine-

He is not holding back

You wake up to breakfast and gifts. He takes you out all day for shopping, you guys come home to get ready for dinner and a movie

Things definitely get.. intimate

But this is a SFW blog so I am not going to elaborate

Wedding-

If there is a wedding you guys make sure it's straight out of a storybook; dream wedding basically

Since he's not too worried about getting married I'd assume it makes sense that he lends most the power to you when it comes to decorating

Xray-

Urges you to communicate your feelings outwardly and verbally since hes not a mind reader, but he does pick up on certain behaviors to give him a general idea of how you're feeling

He doesn't want to push too hard, though, so he tries to offer an environment where there's open communication

Yearning-

Stealing this from my friend but hc that Knubbler actually would not know how to react to someone genuinely having an interest in him, at least in the beginning

Like he knows he's not the ugliest or the most horrible person but he doesnt think hes a heartthrob

So when you come along and actually get him to sit and settle down with someone he kinda. Doesn't know how to feel about being on his own/seperated

Like he can still function but hes finding himself thinking about you a lot; from wondering how your day is to things he wants to tell you when you guys are reunited

Zzz-

As mentioned before he loves cuddling so be ready for him to hold onto you

Prefers soft and light covers compared to heavier ones

Probably yoinks the blanket while he's sleeping

Probably snores

Bonus hc I think his robo eyes can be taken out, like for charging and he has a lil case for them. Has a sleeping mask so nothing gets into his sockets + he understands how it looks to others (especially if they wake up half asleep in the dark and arent used to the empty sockets yet)

[themightymoose]

Pepper headcanons!!!!

🎉🎉🎉

Oh yeah the moment that I've been waiting for mwahahaha >:)

This one is much longer than the other headcanon lists I did

So in a previous headcanon I sent in an ask to priz I stated that in the human au, Pepper was a foster kid who got adopted by Pete at age 13 or 14

And as a pet her foster parents were her owners

... but I don't think I stated how many different owners/foster parents she went through before Pete came into the picture. Her foster parents included:

A cult leader, a cop, a serial killer, a thief, a member if that cult that the cult leader leads, an actor, a firefighter, a director, a model, an athlete, an alpha male podcaster (I am so sorry girl-)

There's probably more but the point is is that she moved around a lot

And all of them were shit to her

also don't ask how criminals were able to adopt a child

Pretty please

They would physically, mentally, verbally, or emotionally abuse her. Or neglect her

Some treated her like an object or a trophy that they flaunted around, while others treated her like an embarrassment, a nuisance that they had to hide from the world

oh and don't even get me started on the criminals my lord-

There's only so long that Pepper moved around homes where she began to wonder what was wrong with her

She ended up liking the ones that would physically abuse her the most, because at least she got some kind of touch from it

I'm not going to be getting into stuff with Pete because their will be a fic about their relationship 😉

But I think at least one of her owners put a shock collar on her as a way to dehumanize her. I also think that some of them would try and choke her until she was unconscious

This resulted in Pepper hating having her neck touched

Even her hair brushing against her neck makes her feel uneasy

But Pepper keeps it in a ponytail because she doesn't really want to cut her hair

Pepper has to really trust you to let you touch her neck

Okay let's get into happier headcanons shall we

Pepper is ridiculously ticklish

She is immensely overprotective of her friends, but she'll never admit it

I also mentioned that she has a real comparison problem. By that I mean she always finds a way to compare herself to literally any person she crosses. It's especially bad with Zoe

Mainly because they're best friends and having the most conventionally attractive person as your best friend while you hate yourself is a not so good combination

The solution? Write down all the reason you love her and read it to her all the way through

Zoe did that

And Pepper was like >:(

Back to her being overprotective because I'm very inconsistent. Any insults thrown at her are completely brushed off by her. Why should she care? Everyone said that to her, why is it different now? Also she's a comedian, she's used to it

But if you insult her friends???? Run

Pepper was genuinely confused the first time her friends stood up for her

She cried listening to jealousy jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo

She's taking that to the grave

Pepper actually has freckles but you can only see them if she's out in the sun long enough. They were much more visible when she was a kid

She's one of those people that are so chill when she gets injured

"Oh can you grab a bandaid real quick? Yeah, no, don't worry I just chopped my finger off. It's fine I just need a bandaid..... What do you mean you're calling 911-"

Bro she is so snuggly and clingy when she's sick

She'll be clinging to one of her friends and they'll just be like "I know I should move because then I'll get sick but Pepper is just too damn cute-"

Pepper pretends she doesn't remember anything when she actually does. She just doesn't want to relive the cringe

She tells really bad jokes when she wants affection. Worse than usual

"Did you hear about the friend that... really wants a hug?" And then halfway through she'll start mumbling and rambling because she's only just now realizing she did not think this through

The most attractive thing about a person according to Pepper is their laugh

This one time Pepper got drunk and ended up rambling about all the abuse she endured to one of her friends and they just stared at her like 😦

Don't ask which friend

[gauloiseblue]

y do we never see yanderes regret babytrapping their obsession? i see babytrapping in a lot of fics but not once do they regret it

Honestly, that's a good question anon. I'll try to explain it from my point of view, but I'm sorry if it's too long ^^;

First, fan stories (esp xreader ones) are written to satisfy our fantasies, and yandere is one of them. One of the common factors in yandere stories is that they have obsessive love, which could lead to babytrapping—consented or not. In real life, this kind of love will quickly run out. But in fiction, we make it infinitely longer. It might come off as unrealistic, but what is fiction without an unrealistic plot? XD

Second, regret usually comes much later. So it's often not depicted, because the story (usually) ends shortly after the incident. Babytrapping is like the climax of the story, and the rest of it is up to the reader's imagination.

I'll be honest with you, I don't know what kind of regret that you referred to. Is it remorse? Or is it "I shouldn't have done that because you're annoying now" kind of regret? 🤔 If it's remorse, then you should ask the other writers too, because we all have different answers ^^

Personally, I don't write remorse because I suck at writing angst. Does that mean the yandere I wrote doesn't have remorse? Not really. It's just that I, as the author, can't depict it properly in the story. (Plus, I'm too lazy to write a continuation, so…)

But if we're talking about the selfish regret (the kind where the yandere be like, I shouldn't have babytrapped you, because now I have to deal with the consequences), I might have an answer for it.

If we were to imagine why they regret it, we'd find some of the answers, which are:

Their partner becomes more difficult to handle after the incident

The reader goes thru big changes (mentally or physically) during the pregnancy

Their partner chooses their kids over them

Their kids end up betraying/killing them

Here's where the problem lies. Realistically, the yandere would leave/become abusive towards the reader when that happens. But in fiction, we rarely do that because it's not in our fantasy. Unless we plan to write angst or hurt/no comfort stories. The question is, can you handle it?

We all know that a story could affect the reader's life, even though it's not real. So if we "realistically" write a story where the yandere regrets their choice, we'd hurt the reader. Because it'd feel too close to reality. I still remember reading a fic where the character cheated on the reader, and felt really betrayed as if he really did that to me.

The point is, you rarely see them regret babytrapping the reader because the author didn't want it to happen. Or simply didn't think of it as a possibility. Because let's be honest, we read xreader stories to experience what it's like to be wanted, not to be left behind.

In other words, the character simply loves the reader too much to regret it.

Hope this helps ^^

[fridayincarnate]

8, 18, 27 for kylux? 👀

(from this otp ask game)

8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?

Ah, but how can I pick just one when they are so many! Kylo and Hux are great narrative foils of each other. (Or at least they were set up to be in TFA; it deviated a bit after that.) The order/chaos dichotomy is pretty obvious, so I'll point to a different one.

Emotions wash through Kylo like a wave - a stormy, violent wave, but a wave nonetheless. He experiences them in the moment and reacts immediately, impulsively, without processing them or thinking them through. Hux is the opposite: he quietly files his emotions away, hoarding them under him like a sleeping dragon. They are very much still there, and he doesn't really "process" them in any healthy way. It's more like rumination, festering more and more resentment the longer he goes without releasing them. At first glance you might think of Kylo and Hux as a hot/cold dichotomy, but Hux is not actually cold - he only pretends to be. Kylo is powerful enough in a direct confrontation that he doesn't need to hide his intentions. But Hux can't usually attack his enemies directly, either because of First Order politics or because his attacks against the Resistance/New Republic require careful strategy (think of how poorly it goes for him in TLJ when he doesn't employ these tactics). He's every bit as fiery as Kylo, he just hides his fury behind a cold affect until the right situation wakes the dragon. By the time you remember that it breathes fire, it's too late.

18. What song fits them perfectly?

Nonnie, I have so many. (cracks knuckles, opens Kylux playlist)

No Children by the Mountain Goats and The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot by Brand New are both giving classic Kylux to me. So is Kiss With a Fist by Florence + the Machine. (So much so that I used its lyrics to name one of my fics!)

i did this all for you! by Xana feels like a really bitter Hux turning against Kylo after TLJ.

Lemon Boy by Cavetown (also covered by The Orion Experience) reads to me as Ben/Kylo being corrupted to the Dark Side by his attachment to Hux, which is a favorite trope of mine.

27. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other?

This is a fun and unique question! For Kylo, I think he thinks of Hux every time he has a tantrum and slashes up part of the ship, which counts as an everyday activity for him. He knows it will rile Hux up and he enjoys the attention. He also probably thinks about Hux when he's putting on or taking off his gloves, because Hux is so rarely seen without his. Before they become involved, Kylo is determined to get Hux to remove his gloves because even that tiny glimpse of vulnerability and intimacy is so rare from Hux. They're both so touch starved, lol.

Hux thinks of Kylo whenever he sees pen and paper or physical books because he knows about Kylo's calligraphy hobby and the ancient Jedi/Sith tomes he keeps. Hux finds physical media hopelessly archaic and impractical, and he's both annoyed by Kylo's interest and intrigued in spite of himself. Such objects would likely be a rare curiosity that he hasn't encountered often in his life aboard First Order ships.

[missholloween]

⭐ for the director's cut game you reblogged!

I may be late, but that doesn't mean I'm not doing this

Given that I can choose, I'll pick one of my favorites of all time and one you have read: What lies beyond, my Wilbur character study <3

To talk about this fic I need to talk about its two major influences, that are The Magnus Archives and Harrow the Ninth.

The Magnus Archives's influence is blatant through the whole fic. When I started the project, I knew I wanted to do something similar to a statement, but more specifically an avatar statement. Something I really like about tma is how they present monstrousity as something both desirable and frightening, but also something one actively chooses, in one way or another. I've often joked about Wilbur being a tma avatar for me, as, for the little we've seen of him, it doesn't seem he was manipulated or brainwashed to serve the Lords, he willingly does so. Wilbur is also very smart, and it's far from a crazed lunatic that blindly follows: his personal beliefs mix with his loyalty to the lords, as we saw in Black Friday with the critique to capitalism.

That's why the statement format was so fitting: it would not only be the framing device and a guideline of sorts to know the structure that I wanted to follow, but also a huge tonal inspiration. I think Jonny Sims is a really big influence in all of my writing, but in this case it was a concious choice. You can see that in the use of metaphors to describe the most cosmic horror-like parts of the fic, as I find that it is the most efficient way to describe the indescribable while also being chill-inducing. The dance between fear and admiration Wilbur has drinks also a lot from tma, with episodes like mag32 or mag151 as direct inspirations.

Lastly, the statement format also demanded a context for that statement to happen. I'm not too fond of fics outside of tma where there's a random archivist (usually jon himself?) reading the statement, as they usually don't add anything to the plot. I decided to go for a radio transmition to MacNamara, as that would let me appeal to someone (as Annabelle does in mag147) AND anchor Wilbur to the last remains of his humanity, that in this case is John.

The inclusion of John is also one of the Terror Factors™: the reader is positioned in John's place as the listener, creating an identification with him that also makes you understand how drastic Wilbur's change must have been for someone close to him. I thought of including some lines said by John, but I think it works better left to interpretation: what did John think listening to that? Does he reach out? Does he go after Wilbur to end things once are for all? Was he frightened? Full of sorrow? Relieved? I have my own answers that might see the light if I ever do a series of tma adjacent Hatchetfield cases, but I do encourage everyone to have their own readings :]

But recovering the first person and the complicated interpersonal relationships, Harrow the Ninth was the other big influence for this fic. HtN was the book where I learned all the possibilities first and second person offer in writing. You can give so much information just by what the character chooses to say and how they say it. You're inside their pysche, completely imbued in their POV, and that might include when a character fails to understand something or are met by something they're incapable of explaining. I knew it had to be a 1st person fic because of all of this. HtN also affected how I wrote some of Wilbur's lines towards John, but I don't want to go into spoilery territory (I really recommend tlt though, htn it's my favorite book ever)

[dairogo]

20 Questions for the Writer

Tagged by @griseldabanks ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Only 18 :O I have a bunch on fanfiction.net that I never transferred over, but they're all an extra 10 or so years older than the Ao3 ones so ... there's some disparity of quality, partly in the writing but also very much in the content present.

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

168,935

3. What fandoms do you write for?

FMA! I had other things when I was younger, but FMA bit and it's the one that stuck with me.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Bed Too Small (Mustang POV, same bed trope, tongue-in-cheek)

Wayward Youth (Hawkeye POV, learning about crushes and affection from the girls at her boarding school while seeking her father's attention)

Order 3066 (Hawkeye and Mustang POVs alternating, Ishval fic about being broken and coming out of it [still broken, but moving])

Partiality (Mustang POV, post-canon, broaching the topic of a relationship)

The Next Step (shifting POV, written soon after giving birth to my youngest and in a bit of a family-related haze. Mostly fluff.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I certainly try to! I might have missed some along the way, but I usually get there!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hurrrghgh, one from my ff.net days: The Manga-ka Has Her Reasons. It was basically saying, hey, they can't get together guys - things will go bad if they do. And so it ended with them both dead.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say The Next Step, because it's just fluffy and lovely :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. The last time I remember feeling taken aback by a comment it was over a decade ago and it was someone rightly pointing out a factual error I'd made. The FMA community I've found myself in is largely positive, and I don't know if that's about the FMA community in general, or that the stuff I write appeals to people who are just cool about community instead of looking to be jerks. Whatever the reason, I'm very grateful!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've got a half written FMA/HP crossover that I started in like 2005, resurrected a few years ago, and then haven't touched for the last year and a half. Sigh. It's probably going to be stuck in my brain forever.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Royai for suuuuure <3 I'm so big on romance as a side-plot, and if that's not the perfect way to explain their relationship I don't know what is. Like, FMA aside, their own personal story is that romance is their side-plot, not their main thing.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Wayward Youth! I have a few really rough drafts of later chapters that need to be edited, but I still haven't written all the way to the end and I'm happily working on another project with all the time/headspace I have, so I don't want to interrupt that flow. But I'm hoping to slowly accrue the last of it, then go through and make it presentable and post it one day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write fairly clear action. And I like putting together a lot of threads to tug on as I go - not all big plot things necessarily, but just things that repeat again later to add an extra layer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't know. I feel like I can write in a very blunt way sometimes, so I have to be intentional about adding in colour and emotion - that doesn't always come through on the first try.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't do this to show to a native speaker, oh boy oh boy nosirree! Currently reading a book on English idioms and my main thought as I looked at it today is that this is exactly why I'll never consider myself fluent in other languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In year 5 we had to co-write a story and my best friend and I basically wrote an AU of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Look, it depends on my mood. If I want something light and short, I can't go past Desperately Hoping He Didn't Look Like an Idiot (modern AU, Royai without angst). But I'm probably proudest of Order 3066, because it took a lot of work and a lot of emotional catharsis to get through that and I ended up with a bit of a deadline for when I had to finish it up and made it! So I feel good about it.

Tagging @scienceoftheidiot and @fullmetalscullyy if you're interested :)

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

Holy shit!!! Holy shit holy shit holy shit!!!

Holy fuck!!! Your Kieran Don't Let Me Love You fic!!! Aaaaaaaaah!!! It's so good!!! It so so intoxicatingly delicious!! I'm apologizing in advance for what a wall of text this probably will be and purely consist of me yapping

I spent like easily 2??? 3??? 2 and a half??? Hours just to read the whole thing. It's just so incredibly overwhelming in the best way possible! The way you describe the actions. The descriptions. The emotions. The thoughts!!! I actually took multiple a few minutes break during the time reading it, because it felt like my soul was enveloped in the narrative and I needed to breathe for a second!!

I've been thirsting over the twins this whole day, and Luke is actually the more favorable one for me but gosh your fic turned me into a new woman, NOW I TRULY LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY. KIERAN!!! Can't possibly agree more that the premise was fitting to Kieran like it was meant to be. You did an incredible job.

Being the quiet of the two, I really felt the amount of conversations were minimal- but meaningful, every single one of them. It fits him so much, I love the flow of conversations you wrote between the two. You have such a refined way of writing!! It's the ultimate mix of both poetic but easy to swallow for the common folk, it's wonderful harmony.

The pet names were everything. Every single one of them!! But personally, there's just something about being called angel by this guy who wears devil horns as his daily outfit that stirs me up so much. S i g h. I'm whipped.

The sexual tension on the flashback of the first time???? HOOOOO BOY LORD HAVE MERCY. I WOULD NEVER NOT SUCCUMB TO THAT. Such a tease. Delicious tease. I'm in tears. Good tears. I just love how all the boys here definitely can effortlessly carry us around and definitely always make us look up with their tall height. I love how the mention of Sylus visibly stirs some kind of reaction to him and how quick but desperate the whole thing was. That commending voice??? Sign me the fuck up. Please. Pretty please. I'm a putty at this point

Rules are the best. Because rules are meant to be broken. That delicious conflicting feeling of doing something should not be done!! You describe it perfectly and beautifully.

I really love how you imagine him being the closer of the two to Sylus, and it just makes sense so much in my brain?? Like, that's why he's so unaware of most outside things, since he was satisfied to just dedicate and stayed loyal to the boss.

Okay now this part is completely my delusion from your fic, and you might skip this if you don't like the thoughts of someone expanding the premise by themselves which I'll completely respect, but I imagined that- at least Luke had noticed before that fated day. Being twins and seemingly inseparable since little, I don't think there's any way either of them could keep a complete secret to each other. The other will notice. So! My personal delusion for this bit is, that Luke had noticed for a while. How Kieran gazes at her was always a second too long, the little things and gestures he believes his brother usually doesn't do for a single girl, and how sometimes his brother was just a little too immersed with whatever he was thinking, and how it felt different than any time before. But he kept quiet about it, obviously. Since Kieran wants to hide it, and Kieran might've got the feeling his brother had already realized from who knows when as well. But out of respect for each other, neither of them ever brought that up. Buuuuuut, Luke noticed the feelings and affection has grown, unbearably big. So he decided to finally confront Kieran about it, maybe saying a piece or two of his thoughts about it. Warning him, or something. And that's what spurs Kieran desperation and conflict that day. He had been mulling it over ever since his brother actually says something verbally to him about it, and at that point he must've tried to deny how fucked he is by then.

Aaaaaaand I also imagined depending whether both Sylus or only Luke have known, Luke would back them up about that day. Coming up with excuses and such, naturally. Either that, or both Sylus and Luke agrees that 'it took them long enough' (s i g h this'll be delicious angst as well depending if Sylus and Luke actually also have feelings for her) with or without this part of my delusion though, I loved the fic as a whole so so so much!

Okay, back to the actual fic. Let me just say i have a thing about good girl and it ascended me to heavens. Your Kieran has driven me crazy-- The depictions of how different he was acting that day was so good!!! And I really loved the repeating narratives, like Quiet, obedient, dutiful Kieran or Don't let me love you or There's no going back. Each one of them are so lovingly beautiful!!

His pleas! The urgency in his voice!! In his action!! The desperation!! Aaah you wrote all of them so well, I actually kept scrolling back up and rereading the lines and description while still reading it because it's just so so so good. And let's not forget the domineering overpowering attitude.... I'm melting...

I really love the switch between the frantic desperation of the first part to the soft loving gentle need after we finally saw Kieran's face. And may I mention I think the fact you're able to describe him and all his emotions and expression so well while deliberately opting out any actual description of his visual is???? Such?? A genius?? Move?? His action, his touch, his face, his expression, I can imagine it all clearly thanks to your amazing writing, and yet I can freely imagine the actual face according to my own imagination! I think that was such a skillful bit.

I really love the moment of vulnerability between the two, how both of them had each of their own time where they finally broke down in tears. Aaaaah such a good narrative.

AND THE PART WHERE HE CALLED OUR NAME???? AAAAAAAAH DELICIOUS!! BEAUTIFUL!!! BRAVO!!!! I love it so much!! I always favor 2nd person pov fics where there never was actual dialogue calling out the name with Y/N- not that there's anything wrong with it other than my preference, but description of it always appeal me more. So thank you for feeding me in that aspect! Aaah! I'm in love!

The bits of how slow the walls slowly crumble, how even after meeting eye to eye he tried so hard to restrain himself, I love it so much. It felt necessary and shows just how much thin the ice they were threading were. I'm s o l d.

The cockiness of his tease on the Miss Hunter shenanigans??? And yet followed suit with his genuine apology afterward??? Have I said I'm melting?? Because ugh it's such a good pacing.

When all restraints finally let loose and the fervent intense adoration came back into action!! It's so beautiful!! And gosh the confession. The confession. Couldn't have worded it any better... I like that he was the one to confess first and how we broke down from him, as it was always ambiguous more on our side than him- because he had always been able to see us through, but he always put on a mask- literally and figuratively. And I think it's just so so so beautiful.

I loved the ending line!!! As well as the little ramble you wrote afterward <3 can't agree more!! I'm definitely interested to read luke x kieran recommendation you linked at the end... But for now I've got things to do so I'll keep it for now!

Phew, it's really a lot of text. TLDR, I'm in love with your Kieran fic thank you so much I love your writing style so much. Thank you!

AHHH ANONIE 😭😭😭😭😭 i have reread this so many times bc this is so so so so incredibly sweet i'm so floored 🥺 and so honired 🥺 that you could have this much thoughts on something ive written... aaahh my heart's fluttering fr, anonie you've made me so happy 😭 esp knowing that you were able to picture kieran's face without the descriptors? that was super challenging to me but i'm sososososososo happy it came across well 😭🤍

FUN FACT i actually had part of this draft cut out! an entire scene where reader runs into luke while looking for kieran, and then subsequently realizes that luke knows ... so he's like, the push that gets both of them to realize they're not just fuck buddies (a la "we're just friends..." "sure, and friends do that" vibes) HAJDKAKFJA IT WAS A WHOLE THING. THE FIC REALLY COULD'VE BEEN LONGER. but i decided 7k words was enough 😭🤲

but overall i agree with you!!!! i was def biased towards luke at first, but writing this totally had me leaning more towards kieran <3 desperation and conflic with internal emotions or othereise co flict between duty and emotions is my FAVORITE to write, and kieran's character is SO fun to play with, esp with him being the younger of the two! he's surprisingly complex and i loved getting into the intricacies, i'm so glad that was conveyed hehe 🥰 you might be interested in the little analysis i had on kieran's character here !!! <3

THANK YOU again anonie 🥺 i wish i had the words to actually say how grateful i am for this because it's just so incredibly sweet 😭 know that i'm cradling you in my arms!!!

[crime-wives]

13, 26, 27, please!

thank you for the ask!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

oh wow, starting off with a tough one lol. hmm ok, i have a few fics dealing with self-harm, a topic incredibly personal to me. it's very difficult for me to write about, but simultaneously easy. i think the hard part about it is feeling like i need to be in a certain headspace when i'm writing about topics like that. and that headspace is often harmful for me. however, it's also easy to write about because i know how it feels so it kinda brings me a lot of catharsis. for example, in my most recent fic, my sky's not blue (it's violent rain) (absolutely shameless self-promo, heed the tags!) i struggled a lot with actually finishing it. my lovely friend @emily-prentits let me rant in their dms about it :)

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

to get into a character's head i constantly ask myself "what would they do if this happened?" i also try and think about where they are in the story and how they act. for example, s1 regina mills is completely different from s4 regina mills. so it really helps to contextualize where i want them to be in their arc. getting out is usually pretty easy because i tend to write in short, sporadic burst, rather than well-planned thought-out writing sessions. usually after i write, i'll read fic for a bit to transition away from writing mode™. sometimes i do regret going there, especially for my heavier fics, because of the headspace i have to be in to write those. but i find ways to deal with it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i would say either regina mills or addison montgomery.

addison is SO complex, she has so many different facets that a writer can choose to explore and it's really interesting to see how these often contradictory pieces fit together. an example of this is her cheating, she knows what she did was wrong, she regrets it, but she also tries to justify it. she's stressful to write because i always think i'm going to mess up her characterization.

regina is also stressful to write because she is like twenty different people in one. she's regina mills: mayor of a small cursed town in maine, fierce and unwilling to back down and also kind of a bitch. she's the evil queen: sadistic and vengeful and she doesn't care for anyone or anything. she young regina: tormented and abused, yet still and idealist at heart. seeking love and watching it crumble to pieces. she's leopold's wife: a child bride forced to mother a girl only a few years younger than herself. she's angry and trapped and so very alone. finally, she's henry's mom: caring and protective and loving with her whole heart. so it's really interesting to see how all these versions of regina affect her. which parts of her are which? when writing regina, all of these things are present, lurking in her subconscious. so it's extremely difficult to capture all of it without it coming off as too much or heavy handed.

anyway, i am so sorry for how long this got, i got a little carried away lol :)

[irish-urn]

Hi Ive been reading your LWD posts. I was wonsering what your thoughts were on George and Nora as parents ( if youre up to sharing them) >>

Greetings! Welcome to my blog! Would you like a cup of tea? A blanket? A lot of conversation? I noticed you reblogged one of my posts with a note that Derek Venturi is YOUR blorbo too!!!! What a shithead. Gosh I love him.

So. You want to know my thoughts about George and Nora as parents. I have a lot of thoughts, actually. Some of them are conflicting.

This is gonna get long, so I'll put it under a Read More.

I guess my first question is: Have you read any of my fics? This isn't me plugging my work; I ask mostly because I think you get a decent idea of a lot of my thoughts via my kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight series, which is basically my idea of what happens after LWD and Vacation with Derek (but NOT Life with Luca).

But basically: I think that George and Nora are good people with good intentions and a lot of heart who aren't actually very good parents (that may make some people upset. oops). I think they love their children very very much. I also think they're very human. And I think their parenting skills are lacking in different ways.

So, as you may have noticed — or maybe you didn't; it's cool either way — I am doing a re-watch of LWD (very slowly because I am very busy and prefer to write and hate watching things by myself) and I'm about halfway done Season 2. And I think they're both lacking in different ways, which in part affects their children but also their lack may be because of their children's personalities.

George: I genuinely think George likes his kids. I think he loves them. I also think he has pretty much given up on raising Derek, and it's only Nora's guidance that is keeping Marti from being a total brat. I think we can assume that the advice and discipline that he gives Marti is the same kind he have Derek and Edwin — I mean, that only makes sense, right? You usually IMPROVE your skills on the younger children, actually, as you get more practice and see the results of the older kids, so he may have actually been even MORE lax with Derek and Edwin. When George DOES discipline Derek, he tends to overcompensate, and it's clear to me from Derek's body language, his reactions, and his lack of respect, that George picks and chooses when he disciplines Derek. It's very inconsistent, and it seems to be based more on when Derek inconveniences GEORGE or costs him money. Inconsistent discipline is, like, the worst kind you can raise a children with: you have to choose a strictness level and then try to stick to it, even if it's super relaxed. It's the inconsistency that's problematic!!! George's parenting style has raised three brats — and I love the Venturis. I really do. But my GOSH are they bratty!!!

I think George mostly enjoys being a dad, but likes the fun parts a lot more than the rotten parts. I think George really likes how grown up and easy Casey and Lizzie are compared to his children. I think he's gonna be an AMAZING grandpa. I have a LOT of HCs about Derek's childhood that get incorporated into my fics, including this idea that Abby got pregnant with Derek before she and George were married, and George felt the need to grow up FAST to be a dad, and just... Didn't really finish the job. I think he sees a lot of himself in Derek, and a lot of the the things he sees are the parts of himself he doesn't like.

Nora: I think Nora loves her daughters and her new stepchildren. I think, however, that her divorce to Dennis was BRUTAL. Unlike Abby and George's, which I've always imagined as more mutual, there's something about the way Nora panics with Dennis comes to visit and how Casey and Lizzie act around him that gives the impression that it was a NASTY divorce. I think Nora probably leaned a lot on her two girls (understandably so), and I think the three of them saw each other as a team. I think Nora started to see Casey as a combination of her best friend, right-hand man, and almost redemption for the mistakes of her marriage. I think, by accident, Nora puts a lot of pressure on Casey (and Lizzie), and the two of them react accordingly (I also think Casey tries to shelter Lizzie from this when she can. Casey is VERY much an example of parentification).

What does this mean? Something I've noticed is that Nora cares a LOT about how their family is viewed. When Lizzie makes them take the quiz about the children and they fail, Nora is upset -- but doesn't actually do anything to solve the problem? When Lizzie points out about their carbon use, Nora is worried what it will look like to the OTHER moms. I think Nora loves her girls and is doing her best to raise them... I just also think she's tired. Sometimes the way she reacts to Casey is like, 'Oh my, she's just being a dramatic teenager' which, while true, does not invalidate Casey's feelings and problems!! I think Nora does a lot more parenting that George, but doesn't always hit the finish line. Sometimes, she just sees it and calls it good enough.

What does this mean? I think it means they tried. I think it means they're human. I think they have full time jobs and five dramatic children and past-marriages that have left scars on them. I in NO WAY think the five/six children are abused whatsoever. I just think that sometimes Lizzie is so good that she slips through the cracks; I think Derek has done a lot more raising of BOTH Edwin and Marti than anyone is willing to admit. I think Casey has anxiety because of the parentification. I think Derek's distaste for authority and his faux-casualness is his reaction to George (and Abby)'s inconsistent parenting style.

So, tldr: I don't think they're good parents. I also don't think they're BAD. I just think they could've been a lot better.