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annawayne · 5 months ago

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Hi Anna!!!! I hope you're taking care of yourself :3 For the writers ask game, in regards to MYLYSW:

1, 2, 5, 9, 11, 13, 14

Please take care Anna, and I wish you lots of energy and inspiration and good moments to do the things you want to do :3

Oh, Moon, hello-hello!

*sigh* I'm not very good because one of my chronical health problems came back yesterday, but well, I'm as fine as I can be, considering all the circumstance, but thank you a lot for your words and questions!

It was such a great distraction to answer all of it about My Yellow Light in Your Soft Whispers (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

1 What inspired you to write the fic this way?

From the very start, I really wanted to explore Annie's character and far, far into the future, where she already experiences a lot of new things and the date of her death, when she was under curse, long expired. But since this whole traumatic event happens at the very beginning, all the next chapters are the mix of the past and the present. I think, that when something terrible happens to us which shatters all the world we knew, we always tend to look at the past, how the things used to be with the sweet longing and nostalgia. And yet, with these flashbacks I also want to show that not everything was so unclouded back then. They were happy, but didn't they just simply convince themselves for it because "this is how it should be"? Plus, all the flashbacks + the present events work together with Unreliable narrator tag - Annie IS unreliable narrator, and that's why some things the reader should read with sort of skepticism.

I think that is such a mix of the past and the present is a great way to show how messy Annie's mind is - she's constantly looking back, not even realizing that some things she sees the way she wants to see, and completely ignoring the present. The past - is her salvation. But is it a blissful oblivion or life-saving escape? Who knows. And this is what I also try to explore in this fic, and that's why we have s great amount of flashback in (almost) every chapter.

2 What scene did you first put down?

Oh, Moon, thank you a lot for this question, because the very first scenes that appeared in my mind are quite the backbone of the whole fic. One of them, is the scene from Chapter 5, with the reveal what really happened that day in March; another one - it's the scene I'm actually writing right now (like, right now-now, I made a break to answer your ask) from Chapter 10, and also the very beginning - this whole day in March was very vivid in my mind, when the first idea came to me, particularly, the scene on the stage - and the transition to AruAni's cottage, where a few times I play with readers making them believe that it was dream - or not - until we realize that it really DID happen. I did my best to confuse the readers as much as possible, and I hope it played out because I really wanted to show how much this day in March affected Annie and how it sets the whole narration rhythm from the start: we can't trust her fully, and yet, to find where's the truth which is the part of her healing, this is what I try to do.

Another scene, it's going to be a bit later, and it's maybe of the most emotional moment in the whole fic. This moment is one of the main catalyst for Annie's character, and I'm quite nervous for it, but well... I don't think too much about it for now, since we have a long way to go :D

5 What part was hardest to write?

This part is actually only yet to come... In the next chapter, 11. This is something that was, let's say, in the second wave of brainstorming for the MYLYSW plot, and I was eager to write it since the beginning, but because this scene is also VERY emotional and marking the new route for AruAni, it's a very responsible scene.

9 Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There's some very, very, very rough idea of the alternative scenario where Armin never wakes up from his "coma", but I dismissed this idea almost right away because I wanted primarily to explore how two souls overcome something so grave and something so earth-shattering, finding the love - for yourself, for the life and for each other - once again, from the knife-edge pieces of their past scattered around. So I dismiss this very tragic scenario, and stick to "Angst with Happy ending", where through all the difficulties and turmoil, hope and desire to live are much stronger than everything, much stronger than death.

11 What do you like best about this fic?

You know, I left this question for the very end when I was answering all the previous ones because it's always a bit difficult for me to say what "I like" about my writing (and I know you know, and you asked me this question on purpose :D), and after some though I realized that I really cherish this fic for the rawness of emotions and feelings. For the way how it's all so honest that it could you even uncomfortable, how bare and how on display these characters, or, in particular, Annie is. I really wanted to reach this borderline of frankness and truth where is nowhere to hide. I don't know if I succeed, but I do my best to show nothing without sugar-coating and to dive so deep into character's mind, that sometimes it may be scary to see what really hides beneath all layers.

And I think, that this is what I like the most about this fic. How honest and raw it is.

13 What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Oh, I have the whole Playlist for this fic, and it's 11 hr 42 min... If anyone is interested, I can share it, but please let me know T^T

And I have a few "main OSTs" for this story which are like the main lead music that settles the whole mood and vibe of the fic, and here it is:

14 Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I'll refer with my answer for this question to my answer for the question 9, too: I really want to give hope to everyone who is going through very difficult times that, no matter what, the sun will always come. Even if everything looks so devastating, gloomy, scary and absolutely terrifying, I just want everyone to feel that the things don't get better overnight - it's a process. Long and something torturous, but it's a process, and every day, step by step, you're closer to the moment when things will be better. No matter how angsty this fic is, it has a happy ending, a catharsis which declares that any desire to live is stronger than anything, then death itself, and that it's worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for you, and your happiness is wort it.

For me, this fic is also a reminder for myself. That no matter how difficult and scary my life is, everything ends. The last three years are the pure nightmare for me, and yet, I get up every day with the thoughts that my life is worth it, it's worth to open my eyes and it's worth to cherish it. It's worth the future. And this fic - this is also for me, and for everyone who lost their paths and their grounds. I really hope to give this hope and to show how two completely lost and broken souls find happiness and peace, and if anyone, who will read this fic, will feel some ray of hope or sign to move forward - I'll be enormously happy. Truly.

This fic is like the transition season between winter and spring: first, it's snow that melts, the barren, dry soil peeks trough the piles of dirty mess which is not even snow anymore, but just some slobs. Nights are still cold, maybe even with the frost. The sun starts shine more, but still cold. But some first petals and buds start to bloom - and they're first to die because the winter didn't leave fully. But, with each day. the sun is warmer, the snow melts into the soil and gives water to the new flowers, and the trees blossom with young leaves - and March, this endless March, when the weather always deceives you, finally go and here comes the spring, when everything is born again.

Thank you so much, Moon, for all these questions, and, to be honest, while I was answering all of it, I realized more about my own story then it was before... So thank you for it, always (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

writer's game in question

#aruani #armin arlert #annie leonhart #annie leonhardt #aruani fanfiction #aruani fic #aruani fanfic #aot fanfiction #armin x annie #answered ask #ask #my writing #my yellow light in your soft whispers #MYLYSW #aruannie

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 3 months ago

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10 perhaps? 👀 i miss lunina sleepovers!! sounds cute :D

Takes place either S3 or post-show, or else it would be too risky for them to sneak out like this x)

10. Lunina sapphic sleepover

Nina had spent the night at Luna's more times in the past year than she had ever in her life. She just never had a lot of friends to have sleepovers with growing up.

Really, the only sleepover she remembered going to was when she was a girls scout in middle school. But it felt less like a sleepover and more like a sleepaway camp, as there were so many people sleeping in the same room. She never had a sleepover with just one other person until she befriended Luna.

But she loved it. Even if they didn't do anything special, it was just so fun to spend some more time with Luna. She also appreciated not being home, even though Mora's house definitely made her feel a lot more free than her mom's.

Tonight they sat in Luna's room, just talking.

"Did you ever have sleepovers in Cancún?" Nina asked.

"Yes!" Luna chuckled. She lied down on her bed, with her eyes glowing with nostalgia. "Me and Simón used to have ones when we were younger. My favorite time was when we decided to swim in the pool in the middle of the night."

"A pool?"

"Yes! The mansion in Cancún had a pool... we went swimming, and then saw someone turn a light on. We panicked and ran away from there."

Nina giggled. "Aww, I can picture it so vividly!"

Luna giggled too.

Nina smiled at her. "I love your laughter, Luna. It's so contagious."

"Thank you." Luna leaned down to Nina's mattress to hug her, but accidentally tripped and thus fell right on top of her.

They stared at each other for a brief moment, before awkwardly chuckling.

"Uh..." Nina said, "You can let go of me."

Luna was still embracing her, which she had not at all realized.

"Oh, sorry..."

As she let go, there was another silence.

"So... what should we do?" Luna asked. "I'm not tired."

"Me neither," Nina admitted. But then, she formed a mischievous smile. "What if... you and I sneak out..."

"But we don't have a pool!" Luna said.

"We could do other things, right?"

"I guess... like what?"

"What if we... just go out in the garden? And look at the stars?"

Luna lit up. "Yeah! That sounds so fun!"

They walked downstairs as quietly as they could. Luna was not sure why she was so nervous - she was allowed to be in the garden. It was her house now.

And yet, it just felt better knowing that no one knew what they were doing. Like a silly little secret only she and Nina knew.

They went outside, holding hands so that none of them would get lost in the dark.

Nina looked up in the sky. "Wow... you can really see the stars well."

Luna also looked up. "Woah... I've never noticed it..." She started beaming. "You know... wherever you are, you have the same sky. The same stars... aw, this reminds me of Mexico."

"Did you watch the stars a lot in Mexico?"

"Sometimes. It was always really soothing..."

Nina looked around. "The whole garden looks more... magical, in the darkness."

It was true. The way the garden lit up by the moonlight, and all that was heard was crickets and other insects... it was this aesthetic over it that just was so beautiful.

"You know what I wanna do?" Luna asked. "I wanna run."

"Run?"

Luna laughed and started sprinting away. Nina snickered a bit from surprise, but then decided to run after her.

"Can't catch me!" Luna exclaimed, putting her arms out like she was an airplane. "Wee!"

"Wait up!" Nina laughed.

It was like Luna got some sort of energy boost and she needed to run. Nina soon got out of breath, and had to rest by a tree, while Luna continued running around.

"I'll get you!" Luna said, and ran towards Nina. Nina closed her eyes, afraid Luna would tackle her.

But instead, Luna picked her up mid speed and carried her. Nina yelped, as Luna continued running.

However, Luna could only run for a few seconds, before she realized that Nina was a lot heavier to carry than what she was prepared for. So, Luna had stop and put her down.

"Everyone always carries me," Luna said, "So I wanted to try carrying someone else."

"Everyone's taller than you, so of course you're easier to carry!" Nina chuckled.

"Really? Can you carry me?"

Nina tried to lift her up. "Nah, you're too heavy."

Luna leaned onto Nina's shoulder. "Wooh... I really feel like I got to let out all my energy. This was a great idea."

"Yeah... but we might go change clothes. I don't know if we should sleep in clothes we've had in outside."

"Maybe... but I don't think my pajamas is dirty enough to change!"

Luna then had the great idea to jump onto the ground, rolling around on the grass.

"Luna!" Nina exclaimed.

"Come on! Join me!"

Nina hesitated for a moment, but then decided to join her. She carefully placed herself on the ground, crawling up to Luna.

Luna embraced her. "Now we really need to change sleepwear!"

"Luna, we need a bath... there's grass and dirt in your hair."

"Hm... should we take a middle of the night bath, then?"

Nina frowned. "Together...?"

"Yeah! There's a bathroom with a pretty big bathtub we got, several people can sit in it at once! And we could wash each other's hairs!"

"Ok..."

Nina wasn't sure why she felt oddly nervous of taking a bath with Luna. She had seen her change clothes plenty of times, both at P.E and in Luna's room.

And friends taking baths together was normal. Especially in some cultures. Nina noticed the bathtub resembled one of those japanese bathtubs that fits a group of people (except this one was a lot smaller). Which, considering how rich the Bensons were, she wouldn't get surprised they had a bathtub like that.

She watched Luna undress, and instinctively looked away. She took a deep breath. She would just take a bath with a friend, like they did in Japan, or like Nordic people hung out naked in saunas with their friends. Totally normal. Nudity is natural.

And frankly, both of them did need a bath after their garden adventures.

So why did Nina feel awkward out of nowhere?

She more or less looked down on the floor as she entered the bathtub. It was warm and really was calming.

Luna grabbed some shampoo. "Should we wash each other?"

"Sure..."

"Do you want to start with me?" Luna asked.

Nina nodded, and grabbed the shampoo bottle. Luna placed herself in front of her. Nina slowly applied it into her hair, gently massaging her scalp.

"Aah..." Luna mumbled. "You're good with your hands, Nina."

Nina blushed. "Thanks."

"My turn!" Luna exclaimed after Nina was done. "Turn around!"

Nina did so, and soon felt Luna's hands in her hair. The way she touched her... she felt this electric feeling running through her head down to her legs.

"You ok, Nina?" Luna asked.

"Y-Yeah... I just... I'm getting tired. The bath calmed me down a lot."

"Well, I know a quick way to wash the shampoo off!" Luna said.

"How?"

Luna giggled and then went completely underwater. The shampoo in her hair colored the whole bathtub.

Luna then got up again, giggling.

Nina looked at her, and felt her heart beating faster. There was something about Luna that just was so... pretty.

"What?" Luna asked, noticing she was staring.

"Uh... I just think, I don't know if they shampoo gets off just by being underwater. Maybe we should also rinse it to make sure it really gets off."

"Good idea!" Luna said and stood up, which Nina was not prepared for. "We need to wash our bodies with soap properly, too."

She took out the plug holding the water, and then turned on the shower that was attached to the bathtub. She then grabbed some soap. "Come on! Let's wash ourselves off properly!"

10 minutes later, they sat in bathrobes drying their hairs. Nina was not sure why she was feeling so awkward.

Every time she had looked at Luna today, she felt a flutter inside. Which was why she tried to avoid eye contact.

As the two walked out from the bathroom, they suddenly noticed a door opening in the corridor.

This very bathtub happened to be in the part of the mansion close to Ámbar's room. And Ámbar was for some reason not sleeping. She was standing in her pajamas, giving them a frown.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We..." Luna said, but didn't know where to begin.

"Did you two... take a bath together?" Ámbar asked.

"Yes," Nina said, looking down on the floor.

Ámbar raised an eyebrow, but then shrugged. "Interesting... spare me the details." She then closed the door again.

As they got back to Luna's room, Luna gave Nina some new sleepwear as she had only packed one pair with her.

As they both had changed, Luna laid down on her bed. "Oh gosh... there's something so cozy going to sleep after a bath... feel my sheets! Come on, lie next to me."

Nina laid down next to her.

"Newly washed skin against bed sheets is just... ahh..." Luna said.

"Yeah..." Nina said.

"Your hair smells so good," Luna commented, turning her head to Nina.

Nina turned her head to Luna. "Your hair, too. We both used the same shampoo."

"You know, Nina... you're really pretty. I've always thought so, but especially tonight..."

"Thank you..." Nina felt her heart beat even faster.

"Nina..."

"Eh..."

Nina tucked some hair behind Luna's ear, as she leaned in closer. She stared at Luna for a final time, raising an eyebrow, as if she communicated something telepathically.

Luna nodded in response.

In the next moment, the two girls kissed.

Nina let go quickly. She was red in the face, and laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

"I..."

Luna also blushed. She let out a snicker. "That was..."

"Yeah, I... don't know."

"Me neither, but I liked it."

"You did?"

"Mhm. You're a good kisser."

Nina smiled. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes."

They kissed again, and then giggled about it.

Luna embraced her. "I think you should sleep in my bed tonight. We'll share it."

"I was thinking the same thing."

As Monica woke up in the morning, she quickly peeked into Luna's room. The two girls were still fast asleep.

But they were still in each other's embrace, Luna holding onto Nina's upper body like she was hugging a pillow.

Monica smiled.

Later, as Luna and Nina ate breakfast, everyone could tell something had happened between them. Monica wanted to ask, but Luna didn't give much answer. She figured the girls would tell them when they were ready, or when they wanted to.

Luna and Nina still needed to process the night they had. One thing was clear, though: It was one of their most memorable sleepovers they'd have in a long while.

#i love writing sapphic sleepovers so much. like it’s a common theme i have in my fics in general #sara's dcla tumblr fics #soy luna #lunina

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new-tella-us · 1 year ago

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Alright. No art. Just positive rant. The entire point of my redesigns was me being slightly annoyed at the designs and story of Seduce Me and having way too much positive nostalgia to be normal about this game. I love-hate this game. However! The one thing I will never, never shit talk Seduce Me for is its characters. The main six love interests (Yes I am counting Diana as a main love interest. Thank Demon War for that) are all so well written! I genuinely love them. Even Sam, my least favorite character, isn’t boring. I don’t dislike him for being a bad character, I dislike him because the tsundere trope annoys me.

But this isn’t a rant about the characters as a whole. This is a rant about Damien. Let me rave for a second. Because as melodramatic as his backstory is, it got me hook, line and sinker. I am convinced that either Michaela had a period of being obsessed with Damien or some redheaded fuck boy named Damien pissed her off so much that she made him into a character just to make him suffer. This boy is tragic!

Like b r o, all the other boys’ backstories can be summed up with “The palace life is boring, my dad is kinda shitty and I got one other, reoccurring, minor inconvenience” and then there’s Damien being like- “My mom suffered as my dad’s harem girl until she couldn’t take it anymore and tried to murder me before killing herself. Also my dad is extra shitty to me. He tried to kill me a few times. Food? That’s a luxury. Energy? I’m used to not having it. A room? What is that? Please let me become human because mind reading kinda sucks, oh wait, I only got a 1 out of 6 shot for that ending. And I’m not even the canon ending!”

And another thing! Matthew’s main bad ending has traumatized me for multiple reasons but that line, “That’s what you get for making me go to the human world” after he kills Damien! Now, Matthew is a favorite of mine, but in that moment, I wanted to shake that little bitch until his soul evacuated his body! Like, I don’t care that he was being controlled, how d a r e he come firing shots at Damien when all he wanted was a good life away from his abusive ass dad!? Bro Damien may have been the illegitimate child but at that moment Matthew was the bastard.

Tragic…

On a different, lighter note, I do love the sort of contrast between him and Matthew, at least on the topic of “naivety”. Of the two, you expect the fun loving, goofball to be the naive, kind of innocent one. But that’s not the case. Matthew is optimistic, Damien is innocent. Matthew knows what he wants and while the world is a wonder to him, he goes about the world with this sort of maturity, knowing what he wants to see and when. Damien is more of the spacey type. There is this level of inexperience to how he grasps the world as if he can’t even believe that it can exist. Plus, as much as he has an idea of what he wants to see, sometimes he feels like he must ask permission. Like in the New Years Episode where if you go on Damien’s route, he asks “Can we do this every year?”.

In conclusion, I want to wrap Damien into a blanket burrito and tell him that everything is going to be okay. And then take him to therapy because this man probably has C-PTSD. As my friends would say, I am mentally ill for this demon equivalent of a sad, wet dog.

#seduce me the otome #seduce me demon war #seduce me #seduce me damien #random ramblings #positive rant

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swearyshera · 1 year ago

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So we are at the end of the road on something that has always been about the journey, not the destination. I’ve taken my time to gather some thoughts. This blog has meant a lot to many people, not the least of which is me. I’ve had a hard time these last few years – I think it’s been hard times for everyone, in one way or another. Personally, I seem to remember discovering this blog not too long before I had a breakdown and handled it very poorly, making bad decisions that cost me a lot of friends, or at least people whom I thought were my friends up until a breaking point. (Your blog was unrelated to this). When I came out of hospitalization I had a few things to rely upon – a video therapy group was one, certain family members and, well, as silly as it sounds, hitting up tumblr for my daily dose of Sweary She-Ra to make me laugh. And then in mid-January, 2023, one of the people who was closest to me in my entire life died suddenly of technically unknown cause but considering his health issues, probably a heart-issue. It was sudden and devastating. We shared She-Ra and the Princesses of Power together because he was kind of curious about it and I was a nostalgia-fan of the ‘80s series. We both became massive fans of Entrapta. In fact, my nephew / best friend got me into the fandom in the first place because he had a silly idea for a fanfic about Entrapta wrecking havoc in the Fright Zone just post first-season and had little confidence in his fanfic writing, but decided to pass along said idea to me, an inveterate fic-writer for many fandoms. I was put through the wringer this year – it’s the first time I’ve been in partial charge of a memorial service. I am feeling better now than I did at the beginning of this year because I’ve found the strength to keep doing things that he and I liked to do together and time helps. And again, in all of this, I had a silly little comic where a sparkly purple princess calls people “twattingler,” others make liberal use of the word that originally meant Fornication Under Consent of the King, one character swears all the time but apologizes for it, one character is contractually obligated to use Ned Flanders style cursing and there’s a fourth wall breaker and an incompetent boss with indecipherable accent and Marxist unicorns and all the rest. No matter what was happening with my emotions I could just… take a little break and look at the funny fancomic. Sweary She-Ra for me has been like a warm mug of tea on a cold day or a bowl of baked macaroni and cheese with a butter-cracker crust made out of the old 1960-70 something Betty Crocker cookbook. It’s been Internet comfort food that has been sorely needed at times. So thank you. I just want to thank you for this funny little fan project. I don’t think you have any idea how much it has meant to your audience. @freedfromthegalactichivemind

And I don't know if the audience has any idea how much it has meant to me!

When I started this, things were pretty shit, weren't they? Here in the UK we'd just come out of the second Covid Lockdown, with the third expected to happen imminently; the weather was miserable, we'd barely seen our friends in months, the world in general just sucked. And I'd love to say that I felt a calling to break through that with some humour, but no... it was nothing like that. This is what happened...

And so it all went from there.

I almost just went for random scenes as I thought of them, rather than starting from the beginning. But I thought "Eh, fuck it, let's see how far I get", and the rest is history.

Even as the storylines got more complex (bear in mind, I started purely with the intention to do the original script with a few swear words peppered in), I always wanted to keep things upbeat. The painful moments are those 'this is the good stuff, hurt me more' moments rather than actually horrifying things - I know there's been a couple of exceptions, but in general it's held true.

But I've always been driven by one thing - the world isn't very funny right now; it's stressful, sometimes downright terrifying. And if I can alleviate that for ten, twenty seconds per day and make that tiny bit of difference to someone, then I consider that a job done. I'm not out here claiming to have the cure for depression, or some kind of plan to save the world, but I (hopefully) can make a few people smile in the midst of all the shit that's happening, even if it's just for a moment.

So much has changed in the last three years, but this blog has been such a central part of my world, it'll be weird when it's over (maybe that's why I don't want to stop there!). But if this coming Friday really is the last chapter in this part of my life, I'll still be happy that it happened. And if you've ever smiled or laughed at the blog, I'm happy that happened as well.

#sweary she-ra origin story

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meonlyred · 2 months ago

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Finally got around to look into DAV, all I say I don't want to step foot into the tag again. DA fandom, never change

Braving than any US marine. I will never go into the tags. I get enough that leaks into my dash as it is.

I have blocked more DA fans in the past month than I have tumblr bots. I knew this was coming. I was joking with my friends on discord that I couldn't wait to block most of the DA fans. That the 17 of us on that server are the DA fandom to me.

I am going to use this opportunity to rant a bit. Sorry. I have been very good at trying to keep it all contained to private conversations. I deserve to take people to task as a treat. (And threat.)

I am trying to be as light one spoilers as I can. This also ended up being a fucking shit load longer than I meant. I just have a lot of bitching to say.

I have criticism for the DAV but they really come down to very personal tastes. For example, I miss DAI's tinting station for armor. I miss the Golden Nug so I can just have all the armor looks I want right off the bat. (But that was added in later DAI patches. I can't recall if the tinting station was too. It been too long. There might be hope for that.) I was also upset at how long the bug that kept resetting my Rook's appearance took to get fixed. That really sucked.

Besides that, there is nothing that takes substantially away from my enjoyment of DAV. It was another Bioware game that did that to me.

I thought the pacing at the beginning of DAV was way too quick but then I remembered how Bioware games usually go. Ostagar, Haven, the Citadel, and the Nexus is what I liked to call my Bioware graveyards. Its where all of my new characters go to die. The plot comes to a screeching halt at these areas. Bioware has always does good with their openings; action, intrigue! Let's go! But once you get through the flash opening... now wander around for a few hours picking up fetch quests and talking to 30 people all with so much dialogue to dump on you. Some of it is not bad dialogue but some of it is wholly unnecessary or way too much in one go. Like Varric's 10 minutes of "remember what you did in the last game?" Its bad when I dread talking to Varric of all people or just skip through his dialogue.

I appreciate the quick pacing much more on subsequent play throughs. It keeps me moving until well after recruiting Lucanis. By then its even out into a steady pace that keeps me engaged.

As for the fandom, which I hesitate to even call them that, because I don't think they even like Bioware games, has some of the most bizarre criticism. Again, I excepted it going in, but the subjects of their ire has me so confused and disappointed.

I have seen people saying that Hans fucking Zimmer's soundtrack for the game is bad. Which?????? No???????? Its not?

This song playing while fighting dragons with Taash has me so pumped. I want it in my veins.

The romance theme (that also plays at other moments) is beautiful and heart aching. Which fits the tone of the scene when it plays. The saddest banging ever.

And those Inquisition leitmotifs really got me good. Never thought DAI nostalgia would hit me so hard but here we are.

I have also seen people mad about the ending credits song. And I can't say that I'm not EXTREMELY fucking suspicious as to why they don't like the ending credits song. Is it because its R&B performed by a black woman and not sad indie white woman????

(But thanks Bioware for introducing me to another amazing artist to add to my collection.)

Another thing that sticks out to me is the polarizing topic of Mary Kirby writing Lucanis with the intent for him to be pansexual/demisexual. Which she didn't need to say that for me to pick up on it when I was playing through his romance. One of my most beloved OCs is demi. (And I kind of think I might be too. But labeling my own sexuality is something I really don't bother with.) Detractors seem to bad for ????? I don't understand know why. Because demi doesn't mean his romance with Rook or Neve is a chaste, no sex/little sex, relationship. They clearly fucked in the romance scene. The best way I can explain demisexuality is sexual attraction might not happen until a strong emotional bond it formed. Which is exactly how it plays out for his romance. It also explains why he won't romance Rook if a certain game choice is made. I know demisexual falls under the ace umbrella but I know a lot of people who have been wanting a strictly no sexual ace romance. So when the dev said there wasn't an ace romances, I think they weren't lying.

However, I also despise are the people who were asking Mary Kirby if Lucanis was a virgin. And I am seeing "Virgin Lucanis" tags on Ao3. And let me preface this by saying I visceral hate anything concerning the virginity of characters or people. Because I have never not seen it used as a way the track someone's purity or as a way to disparage them. Making them out to be a naive clown. Virginity such an arbitrary thing, a made up concept that people hang a lot of hats on. It triggers an immediate flight or fight instinct in me.

In my experience and the experience of other queer people I know, your journey to understanding yourself is not always a clear defined path. You experiment, you do things that you realize afterwards don't fit with who you are. Sometimes you know from the beginning, and yay, good for you. I am sure you are very proud you got it in one.

But sometimes you aren't sure you're a lesbian until you have sex with a guy and realize nope, definitely lesbian. Sometimes you think you are cis and try to live that way and realize you hate it. And sometimes you are ace and had sex and realized it wasn't for you. These journeys are just as valid an any other and there are myriad of reasons you make decisions that you do. My point being Lucanis can be demi but also not a virgin. It doesn't fucking matter. Running to his writer on Bluesky to have her tell you point blank that he is a virgin is weird and inappropriate. Stop it.

The handing out of "good stars" pisses me off. It screams the same kind of homophobia I got when people found out I dated a bisexual guy and "ew, aren't you disgusted he sucked dick before? Aren't you afraid he'll cheat on you with a guy?" This being said to my face when in the back of my mind I was thinking "I like guys and girls too. But you will never know that about me because now I know I can't trust you."

So why does anyone care if an ace/demi character had sex before? Why do you really care? Hm?? All I hear with people asking if Lucanis is a virgin is "ew, he hasn't had SEX before, right?! I don't want to touch him if he has!!"

This is an extremely sore topic for me because I additionally I grew up being told that my worth was directly tied to me not having sex. Spoiled goods and all that.

Virginity is not a real thing, fuck off about it.

And then also that Lucanis and Neve can start a relationship if Rook doesn't romance either of them. I have see the most vile shit about Neve because of it. She isn't stealing your man. No, Lucanis does in fact care for Neve as much as he does Rook if they are in a relationship. There is no such things as soulmates, there is no such things as people being "meant" for each other. Rook and Lucanis' relationship is different than Neve and Lucanis' relationship because shock/horror they are different characters.

As much as I do ship some BG3 together, this is exactly why I am glad Larian didn't do this. Not because I don't like companion entering relationships together. I love when they do actually. I just knew people could not be fucking normal about it.

Speaking of Neve, I never unfollowed and blocked someone faster than "Bioware is wrong Neve only likes women." Queer characters in media are only barely starting to catch up with varying levels of blink and you'll miss them quality. Neve is already a queer woman, she already is queer representation in media. This fandom is just so fucking mask off biphobic.

As for romances being "too short" in general. I know I am ruined forever by BG3's romances. I knew I would be, I curved my expectation accordingly. It also helped that I went back and replayed DAI right before DAV's launch. Replaying, I remember just how short the romances were. DA2 more so. DAO, y'all don't remember DAO's unmodded romances.

Okay I am being unfair with the DAO dig. The talking part of the DAO romances were nice. Just those cutscenes, oof. ME1 came out just 2 years before DAO and it's romance scene wasn't this rough. More fade to black was the right call actually. Bioware you need to hire Larian's intimacy coordinators please.

But it is true we have had 10 to 15 years to make up in our heads how these romances played out. Years of art and fanfiction to make us make it more than it was.

I was privately streaming my DAI with some friends. We got to the part in DAI where Morrigan reveals herself to the Inquisitor. One of my friends who was watching is younger than us. He was too young to play DAI when it first came out and made fun of who jerky the animation of Morrigan descending the stairs was. Another friend and I explained about how rewatching it now, we were both caught off-guard by it too. Because in our heads we remember Morrigan floating gracefully down the stairs. When in reality that wasn't the case and it was all in our heads. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

Continuing, I have seen some people mad about a character from the books who is in the game. A character who is corrupted by the Blight. Who does bad things. People are mad they "did this character dirty." You mean the character corrupted by the evil Blight does things that are corrupted and evil?! Did they expect being horrifically Blighted would make them good????????? Man, DAO/DAA ruined Tamlen and the Mother too, huh?

And this is super fucking controversial, I think having only 3 imported choices was the right call. I would have like maybe a couple more choices carrying over but that is neither here nor there. The choices in Dragon Age Keep were so fucking bloated is was not funny.

Quick without looking her up: who was Ginnis and why was there a flag option in for whether or not she was alive? Who was Ghyslain and why did it matter if he was told his wife was dead or not? Why was blackmailing Ser Thrask a thing? Has getting Cammen and Gheyna together ever come up? What about Athras' wife? What about Zerlinda and her kid? I don't see anyone upset that Ignacio didn't show up in the DAV Crow story line. Why were any of these flags there in the first place? Did the writers think it was ever going to be brought up again if you feed the prisoner the guard's lunch? Even looking at Dragon Age Keep and the wiki I barely remember these characters. There was no reason to have these flags at all.

Speaking of killing your darlings. No we were not robbed when we saw the concept art. Its concept. Putting all of it in DAV would have been bad. Sometimes you have to leave things on the cutting room floor because including is not worth it in the end. And use as players will never know why it didn't work out. Use the concept art the same way as the devs did. Its there for inspiration. Now go draw it or write fanfiction about it.

People like to say that choices in DA used to matter, no they did not and never did. How was DAI actually different if Hawke chose to support the Mages over the Templars? You know, the crowning choice in DA2? Was the mages stronger in DAI? No, Fiona tells you that they are losing the war. The mages didn't have bigger numbers. You don't get any kind of stat or narrative boost. All choices in all the games are a net zero gain. Aside for some dialogue flare. The world state does not change crossing from game to game.

I do like that call back as much as anyone. I liked Hawke talking about their love interest in DAI. But if I wanted to truly experience that romance I have to go back to DA2 and play it again.

I have also seen people bitching about Taash's gender journey realizing they are non-binary. I am sorry I have a hard time caring about stranger's negative opinions about it, when I have loved non-binary friends talking about how they were deep touched and got emotional over Taash's story. Maybe Taash's story isn't your story but it is someone's.

We don't have the token trans character this time. We have three non-binary character. One a companion, one an ally healer, and one who turns out to be a bad guy. Which is in fact okay to have villain queer characters when you have many more queer good guys. We also have two trans characters who play more than passing roles.

Speaking of "trans" is "too modern" of a term. Trans is a Latin word. Tevinter speaks pseudo Latin. Next.

I just do not understand. If year after year you get so fucking upset about Bioware games, please just stop playing them. You don't have to buy them, you don't have to buy them at full price. Just go do literally anything else.

There are games I was going to play this year then saw something I didn't like about them and went, I'll pass. I didn't make hating that game my entirely personality.

Edit: Oh I forgot "DAV isn't dark fantasy like the others." No you are thinking about DAI. DAI was pretty much high fantasy with a couple kind of dark parts. DAV has too much body horror and bio horror to not be horror. Giant cysts and boils of blight organic matter that infects people and turns them into corrupted zombie like creatures. How much corrupted tentacles, human centipede trees, people getting ripped apart, eye teeth, and literal bloodbaths do you need until "dark fantasy"?

#Red Rambles #Fandom Critical #I got more mean than I intended to here #But I'm old and tired #I am sorry that DAV is the worst thing that happened to you this year #Must be fucking nice #Will not be allowing this to be reblogged #Hate anons will be openly mocked #Bad faith arguments will be block #I don't have the time or energy to put of with y'all's shit anymore

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felixblankspace · 2 years ago

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This doesn't have a name yet, but it's a Leosagi AU ||ヽ(*￣▽￣*)ノ

I have some concept for my new rise leosagi au

My style in tradicional is a mess but hear me out (?

This is gonna be a long post I'm not sorry (??

Like a said in other post this AU is more Usagi centric and is with him being teleported to the turtles dimension but completly alone-

He endup in the Hidden City with Big Mama trying to mother him at first but Usagi was so confused and wanting to go back to his dimension that he just wasn't paying enough attention to her to fall into Big Mama's trap.

And the fact that she tried to mother him was not amusing either because the memory of his own mother is in his conscience and he is also old enough not to look for that maternal atention.

Big Mama also tried to "seduce" him when she realized that he was not interested in a mother and with that Usagi became more defensive since he recognized her as the spider yōkai from his own dimension Jorōgumo.

Big Mama reveals her true form and ends up attacking Usagi who managed to fend off her guards and deal some damage to her.

They fight, Usagi being caught in the woman's hand until there is a riot at the hotel. It's the Hamato doing their thing and in the distraction Usagi manages to run away but not before drawing the attention of Leo who managed to see him out of the corner of his eye.

Usagi manages to escape, but now he is alone in the Hidden City, with no money of any value in that place and without knowing how to get back home.

Now- You 87 turtles fans remember Obento??? The man who takes care of Usagi in the Episode "Usagi come home"

THIS MAN??

Well I'm making him a yokai and like in 87 he takes care of Usagi.

Obento will be a yokai who lives on the surface in a human disguise and will sell ceramic products such as plates, vases, figurines, etc. The yokai will look younger, but he is an old man and quite traditional, he has lived a lot by his nature as a yokai and he tries to help Usagi just because he can and it doesn't hurt to have company.

Usagi at first will not feel comfortable accepting the help, he is a traveler and his stays are not very long and he almost always leaves something in return as gratitude for letting him stay.

Obento ends up convincing Usagi to stay by offering him a job as his guard, to protect the store and to attend to it once in a while-

Usagi didn't want to be a vendor in the store, but he had no other options so he agrees...

With a job and Obento explaining the basics of the world in which they lived, he puts some rules

No killing

No killing even if people atack u first

and not showing your true form in the city with humans

Obento knows the era Usagi was raise and he does not want legal issues-

And Obento gives Usagi a cloaking brooche so he can work for him in the city--

With the brooche Usagi have a human disguise and he is not use to it-

The time pass, Usagi is missing his home, he gets close to Obento cuz he feels like someone he would know in this dimension and also he gets protective of him as his guard jsjs

And the first formal introduction with Leo is with the turtle trying to grab a vase from the store to replace one he broke at home-

Of course Leo in trying to go in ninja mode but Usagi notice him and they fight-

Leo: I'M NOT GOING TO STEAL IT-- I HAVE MONEYY Usagi: Thats a lie! then why are you trying to not being notice?? Leo: I'm a giant turtle-- Usagi: a--

Leo notice the brooche, he assume is a yokai and with that the relationship moves really slow cuz Usagi just have his home in mind... but he likes Leo a lot and in the moments when they are alone he tells him about his place and with a lot of nostalgia, being homesick ass fuck Leo just is there for him and starts to help to send him back home :D

This is all I have- I wanna make a comic about this- Like u can see it is pretty Usagi centric with his relations and how he moves in a world with no help, missing Gen and his friends and over all his life- This is also before the Krang situation- like a year before and Leo is not the leader get uwu

#leosagi #rise leosagi #the au with no name aaa #felix speaking #dodles #my art

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wrestlinghistorywithkay · 3 months ago

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NXTREME : A Review Of NXT 2300

Last night , NXT went extreme. Shawn Michaels took NXT on the road to the 2300 Arena. The 2300 Arena plays a big part in professional wrestling because it was the home to Extreme Championship Wrestling( ECW ). NXT was aired on Wednesday due to the Presidential Election. Also, it went to head to head with AEW Dynamite. This is a review of the show. All thoughts are my own.

The introduction to NXT took me back to the 1990s which hit me with a feeling of nostalgia. I was born in 1997 during the prime of ECW, however , I go back and watch it on Peacock. In the intro , we hear the original ECW theme song with Paul Heyman’s voiceover. We see the stars of NXT such as Stephanie Vaquer, NXT Champion Trick Williams , Ethan Page, Ridge Holland , Cora Jade , NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez , Guilia, Lola Vice, The Family , etc and iconic moments that took place in the ECW arena. We also see vignettes of legends such as Rob Van Dam , Dawn Marie , Francine , and the Dudley Boyz. This was the best show intro I’ve seen from them. Now , let’s get into the match card!

To kickoff NXT 2300, the Hardcore Match with Jaida Parker and Lola Vice took place. The legendary ECW Original , Dawn Marie, was the Special Guest Referee. Before the show started , Jaida and Lola cut promos on each other for the WWE NXT social media accounts. I thought their promos were phenomenal because it showed off how intense their rivalry is and their built up anger towards each other . Parker and Vice used any weapon that they could find from trash cans , kendo sticks , steel chairs , ladders, etc. However, I just want to know where did Ms Parker find a brick to hit Lola with? Jaida Parker backed up everything she said she was going to do in the match against Vice and picked up the victory. Both women put their bodies on the line and put on a phenomenal match . It was also amazing to see the beautiful Dawn Marie kill it as the special guest referee. I loved how she had ECW on her boots.

In a backstage segment, ECW Original and WWE Hall of Famer , Rob Van Dam , was giving the former NXT Women’s North American Champion, Kelani Jordan , a pep talk as she was preparing for the huge 10 woman tag team match which was the main event. After this , RVD was attacked with a steel chair by Wes Lee, who had a match against The Young OG, Je’Von Evans. This match was the battle of two of the best high flyers in the business in my opinion. With Lee being the Heel he is , he was going to hit Evans with a steel chair , until , RVD’s music hit. RVD was coming down to the ring to get revenge on Lee. Thus , Lee was going to hit the WWE Hall of Famer with a steel chair again , however , RVD dodged it. Evans picks up the victory. These two have amazing in ring chemistry in my opinion and need to have more matches together .

In a segment that was taped , we see the NXT North American Champion, Tony D’Angelo and The Family ( Channing ‘ Stacks Lorenzo , Adrianna Rizzo, and Luca Crusifino ) , met up with the legendary Nunzio and Tony Mamaluke ( Full Blooded Italians ) . The phone call Tony D got on last week’s episode of NXT built up to this. Nunzio challenges D’Angelo for the North American Championship. This was pretty surprising to me when Nunzio did this . I’ll get more into this later.

NXT General Manager , Ava, and her two associates, Mr. Stone, and Stevie Turner , came to the ring for a big announcement. Ava’s announcement was about NXT Deadline and the Iron Survivor Challenge. Deadline will take place on December 7 2024, which is on a Saturday in Minneapolis, Minnesota. After the announcement was made , Mr.Stone began taunting the fans and then, the lights went out while doing so. When the lights came on back on and Stone was still taunting the Philly crowd , ECW Original , and TNA Hall of Famer , Rhyno , was the corner of the ring . Stevie Turner told Stone to turn around and soon, he was Gored by Rhyno. Commentators , Vic Joseph , and WWE Hall of Famer , Booker T , went wild as well as the fans . I even went wild. I also laughed at Stone too because that’s what he gets.

In a small segment , we see Stephanie Vaquer , Zaria , Jordynne Grace , Kelani Jordan , Stephanie Vaquer , and Guilia preparing for the main event. Guilia tells them that they will beat all of their enemies. Lash Legend and Jakara Jackson interrupt them to put all of them on notice . Stephanie and Guilia step up to them. Lash and Jakara say their have their money on the champions of the division , Roxanne Perez and 1/3 of Fatal Influence, the Women’s North American Champion, Fallon Henley.

Next match is a tag team match . All EGO Ethan Page and Ridge Holland took on the NXT Champion, Trick Williams , and the legendary WWE Hall of Famer , Bubba Ray Dudley . The build up to this match came from Halloween Havoc and social media . Booker T was great hyping Trick up and always is when he comes out the ring . It makes me as a fan look forward to seeing Williams, so thanks Booker. The coolest thing about this match was seeing Bubba Ray rock the iconic Dudley Boyz camouflage and glasses . It was cool to see him put a pair on Booker T. The match was great. I think Dudley and Williams made a great team. To me , this introduced him to a new generation of fans. What shocked me was Holland pinning Williams to pick up the win for himself and Page. I was pretty happy about that because I love Ethan Page. Dudley and Williams had to defend themselves against the two again , however , when Bubba Ray told Trick to get the tables , he couldn’t find one due to Page’s rule of no tables under the ring . Therefore , the Dudley Boyz music hit again and here comes D-Von bringing a table to the ring . Ethan Page was put through the table with The Dudley Boyz raising Trick Williams’ hand and Williams becoming an honorary Dudley with D-Von putting the glasses on him. This was a great match and the table spot will forever be legendary.

The team of Cora Jade and NXT Women’s Champion, Roxanne Perez ( aka Team 2001 ) , and Fatal Influence ( Women’s North American Champion, Fallon Henley , Jacy Jayne , and Jazmyn Nyx ) , cut a promo against their opponents. They kept talking about how they wanted to be like them at the top. I’m not gonna lie , Roxanne Perez and Cora Jade both gave me major AJ Lee vibes during this promo. They were the two who stood out to me the most.

What I wasn’t expecting to happen was the North American Championship match . Nunzio is 52 years old and stepped in the ring against Tony D’Angelo. What I didn’t like about this match was seeing some of the comments made about Nunzio’s appearance online. Nunzio still has it in my opinion. Body shaming isn’t cool. I was on the edge of my seat during this match because I thought Nunzio had Tony beat. Tony D took care of business by retaining the North American Championship and embracing Nunzio in a hug and raising his hand. This is something I love seeing. What I mean by this statement is seeing legends in the business who still step in the ring and help young talent by putting them over. I’ve seen it happen at Independent Wrestling shows.

Before the main event , a video package and promo of Nikkita Lyons airs. She talks about how she did a favor for Oba Femi by taking Adrianna Rizzo out . She said she knew she had come back different when she returned due to being attacked lot. Now, she’s the attacker and is going to drop the Women’s Division one by one . She calls out Rizzo for a match. To me , I think she needs more work on her promos and in the ring . I didn’t like this promo at all.

Before the main event , ECW Original and the Queen of Extreme , Francine , was spotted and recognized by Booker T and Vic Joseph. I thought it was amazing to see her there. She’s one of the most iconic managers in professional wrestling. I always credit her as one of my favorite women in wrestling .

Now , time for the main event , the 10 Woman Tag Team match . All I can say is, this should’ve been and needs to be the Women’s War Games match for Survivor Series. This was a test of strength and stamina. It showcased how rivalries and storylines with Women’s Wrestling need to be showcased. I have two MVPs for this match from each team. For Team Vaquer , it was Zaria. Zaria showed her strength for her team. When she lifted Jacy Jayne , I thought Jacy was scared for her life . The second MVP is Kelani Jordan. Kelani took RVD’s pep talk to heart and killed it. She’s one of my favorites to watch. And for Team Roxanne , it was Roxanne Perez. They don’t call her ‘ The Prodigy ’ for nothing . The second MVP is Jacy Jayne. Jacy’s selling is getting so much better and how I could tell was when she screamed in fear when Zaria was going to slam her . When all the women came into the ring , I thought it was epic to see an all out brawl. They gave it everything they had . I thought that Team Vaquer was going to lose when Zaria accidentally speared Jordynne Grace and when Lash and Jakara interfered. However , Zaria made the save and Team Vaquer won. The 10 women tag match was the match of the night in my opinion. They killed it .

Kay’s Ratings:

Jaida Parker v Lola Vice - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Je’Von Evans vs Wes Lee - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bubba Ray Dudley and Trick Williams vs Ethan Page and Ridge Holland - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Tony D’Angelo vs Nunzio - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

10 Woman Tag Match - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Kelani and RVD Segment - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

EGO Being Put Through A Table - ⭐️⭐️⭐️

10 Woman Tag Promos - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Nikkita Promo - ⭐️⭐️

Seeing Legends - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mr Stone Being Gored - 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Deadline Announcement- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My Final Thoughts:

Chef Michaels gave us a legendary show ! I hope NXT 2300 can introduce ECW to the new generation of wrestling fans . My favorite moments were seeing Francine and RVD. What I didn’t like was not seeing Paul Heyman, the brainchild of ECW. But , if he comes back with the Bloodline story , I get it . I hope this can become a yearly show with NXT! Hell, make it a PLE!

Love Ya All,

- Kay

#wwe #wwe nxt #trick williams #roxanne perez #dawn marie #rob van dam #ecw #wwe ecw #the dudley boyz #ethan page

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boyfhee · 8 months ago

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hehe, i know and thanks for the jay fic, in enjoyed reading it ^^ well thanks for the blassing but am still not ready :] and ill tell her to do well in her boards (from you who said it)

pcm is no fun, there is no reproduction to laugh at :/ i have fear of them and that was the only, only reason for me to not choose pcb... my mom wanted me to become a gynaecologist :( sadly, it wont be true... yeaa apothorax, i font know but yea medicine is still a lot to take it.

i just watched random fs programme and only hanyu was the one i knew, i didnt go in deep but yes, i still love fs... and for the coding languages, once again thanks ^^ atleast you mentioned what to learn bevause i dont know where to start :0

anyways, my fav album is border : day one and my fav track is all time flicker and let me in. my fav bsides would be chaconne, bills, upper side dreamin, prdx, mixed up and title track would be sweet venom, tamed-dashed and drunk-dazed :)

if you have an instagram account or ny other apps talk, i would love to know it and know you more ++ the fact that you are chiyuv (my fav writer back in 22' :0 i am in tears. i never went through your old mlist until today, so nostalgia hit me hard... your how to get back with ur ex + fair and square + unlikelihood are my favssss 😭😭😭😭😭 ill trade my spy x family manga for them to reread if they were to disappear some day 🥲

i stopped using tumblr in late 2022 and started using it now + stopped writing way back in early 2021 because my mom got to know my writing acc for enha on ig 😭😭) i wanna talk more about everything with you but tumblr feels like we are in a long distance relationship, where we get our letters once in a blue moon 🥲

— lover club anon <33

sweets, i'm telling you reproduction is only fun when you're studying penis and vagina but not the mechanism TT i was going thru hell in embryology lectures 🙏 also, it's neet's fav chapter i'm lowkey bored of it. we studied it sm times that there was an ongoing joke in our class that next lecture will be based on practical and visual learning 😭 also a gynaec :O that's cool ! i'm aiming for cardio-thoracic / neurosurgery, although more inclined towards the former ( imagine five years later i'm a doctor while still crying over jay )

one of my friends was a huge fs fanatic so she made me get into it and it's fun, honestly :> and you don't have to worry about coding yet ! once classes start, i think you'll get a good idea of where to start from. although, html is usually the basic ( in my case, it was? we learnt it before anything ) and then css cause that's a bit more advanced. we took html css and python together, but javascript was only for pcm + cs students. i hope you have fun learning how to code ^^

FLICKER IS SO GOOD TT i remember looping it for hours while writing my lab manuals lmfao. and upperside dreaming too it has such a nice melody :O i'm gna be honest i didn't like prdx at first but then it grew up on me and now it's one of my fav tracks :D chaconne 🙏 no one knows her like me. when the tl was ranking it last on the basis of highlight medley i had faith in it because anything titled chaconne can't go wrong i have proof to back this up ( it's so serious for me can u believe this ) me and a close moot had out daily chaconne stream sessions lmfao

drunk-dazed aged like wine because it sounds like the first time every time i listen to it :] my favs are bite me, sweet venom, blessed-cursed, ptm, i know if only you say yes will be on the list too the moment it's released because that melody and humming is stuck in my head ><

AND TRADING SPY X FAMILY IS CRAZY ??? pls i didn't expect you to be here for so long but i'm glad you remember chiyuv .. what an era 0_0 my instagram is beusoir if you want to follow and discord is znghao. i would love to talk more, just hmu on insta or disc ^^

#⠀ㅤㅤㅤ⠀ㅤㅤㅤsecrets & 𝒽er ฅ ฅ : lover club anon

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drewoclock · 1 year ago

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Drying Paint

Originally written May 20th, 2014

OHHHHHHH YES! Salutations, everyone. I’m Drew D’Amelia, and inspiration has manifested itself as a phantasm and a club simultaneously, striking me as a phantasm with itself as a club to bestow me with some fascinating scrawlings for you to—

Stop right there!

D-hur?!

You’re going to write something about your outlook on life, aren’t you?

…b, but how did you know?!

It’s the same old whistle and wiggle with you, Drew.

…well, pah-haw! I’ve got another jam-slammin’ topic to—

Is it about girls?

It’s about relationships!

But does it stem from girls?

…G-doir! Well—well that’s all fine, I’ve got—

You’ve got ideas on physical appearance? Nostalgia? Your opinion on the way things should be?

Harrrrghar! What are you making me?

I’m making you nothing, Drew. You’ve made yourself. You’re the stalest thing since stale bread. Talk about something DIFFERENT, Drew, or I’ll tap my foot a little.

The countering literary device has a point. I’ve written about things that I love in one way or another, but most of these topics have been more than familiar to me. Very few have been new, and as someone that’s an active proponent of keeping an open mind, I feel obligated to do something about it.

But to write something new, I need two things. First, I have to be passionate about what I’m writing about. That’s not very implausible—I’m adept at finding things interesting. I thought about paint drying as a joke to write here and legitimately started to think that it was cool. I mean—think of the science behind it. It’s liquid, and then it’s not, and it’s a new color. It’s probably the most fascinating thing in the entire universe now that I think about it.

But second, I need something to write about, and that’s usually the problem. Sure, paint drying is among the greatest treasures of this delectable planet, but what can I say about it? It involves air, and chemicals, and paint, which has color, which IS SO AWESOME. But that’s really just a sweet nothing. It’s more than just discovering something. It’s stumbling upon something to say.

It’s also hard to actually find something truly new. I know about language, culture, history, arts, sciences… I’ve got virtually all of the main categories too in tune to be truly new. If I want to hit new, I’ve got to dig deeper to get to the really specific stuff. I can’t just think of fruit. I have to think of a kumquat, grown under less than ideal conditions of a farmer who’s been fumbling under the pressure of educating his daughter on sexual intercourse. And the kumquat is an atheist. That’s not the easiest, especially when I’m operating in a less imaginative universe. And then I have to be passionate about it, and find something to say about it.

To try to encourage myself, I’ve created a little game for myself I call Ten Degrees of Separation. The objective is to think of anything that’s not immediately present in your moment right now. So since I’m currently googling how to masturbate elephants, I probably shouldn’t think of Google. So I’m going to actually authentically play this right now… Ghosts. There we go. Ghosts are currently not relevant, unless it’s a ghost that’s masturbating this elephant, and I’m pretty sure it’s not. (I’m not actually watching a video of an elephant being masturbated.) (I did watch that yesterday though.) (That’s a joke, just to be clear.) (It’s a joke.)

The next part of the game is to think of something the thing you picked reminds you of. Then do the same thing for that new thing, until you’ve hit a tenth thing. Then see if that tenth thing provides you with what you’re looking for! So let’s see here…

Ghosts

Haunted houses

My weird love for houses

My opinion on my home town

Names

Memory

Neuroscience

Popular things to major in

How to know what you want to do with your life

10. Broadening your horizons

So as you can see, the game totally didn’t work this time around. I landed on “broadening your horizons”, and that’s definitely not something new or unique. If I wrote about that, it would fit right in with most of my other stuff, and of course, that’d be completely defeating the purpose of trying to write about something new hahahahahahahaha. But I do hope to play this game for next time and hopefully, it’ll result in me writing about something both engaging and new to me. I think it’s worth doing every once in a while to keep myself from being stagnant. I want to be like drying paint: Colorful, cool, and showing no signs of drying any time soon.

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benefits1986 · 2 years ago

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Carla Bruni x Trauma Therapy

A PL for the soul bleeding in scarlet sins is therapeutic for trauma.

Last Sunday, dad and I went biking with Vici, my OG boss; my first born, my therapy dog. Dad didn’t like getting up early because he’s in his Netflix deluge era. Since it’s Mother’s Day, I made sure we steer clear of very likely spaces where moms are too many; because Mother’s Day is a trigger for me; and I can vividly see my dad’s sedated self shaken. He dragged his lazy ass off at around 6 am and I stopped him from his Facebook trash content curation routine. Dad has very specific routine and that means giving him about 2 hours to go about his rituals. While driving to a sedated spot in the South, he asked me to play Moon River. His best version is that of Frank Sinatra. I told him that it’s Louis Armstrong for me on usual days and nights. Of course, we had another bashing session why Frank is better than Louis. We didn’t budge, as always. HOWEVER, since I watched Something In The Rain as recommended by a number of single lady friends, I gave in. Naging laughable song na for me ‘yung Stand By Your Man kasi ano ‘yun? Ako na naman maga-adjust? LOL. So, bigyan ko na ba chance mga XY and XX na sobrang bata para maiba naman? Basta, ‘wag ko lang i-compare sa mga mas advanced sa career and life na mga beings and doings? Anyhow, I really like Carla Bruni because she has a certain style that swims across the usual. It’s the first time dad heard Carla’s version of Moon River. Sabi niya grabe naman daw version sabay wipe ng pabagsak ng luha while driving. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I told him that Carla is a Venn Diagram of Sitti x KZ Tandingan x Moira. LELS. Sabi niya, tigil-tigil daw ako. ‘Di raw siya client or stakeholder na kailangan kong kumbinsihin. LOL. Pero, he told me to play it again and then told me to stop the song na kasi mapanakit. Marketing is part of daily grind. LOL. Trauma Marketing slanted on Trama Therapy to be exact. I shared previously that I ate my shit words when I chose to forgive my dad without him saying sorry out loud when he abandoned me when mother dragon expired. Losing a mom, as dad shared is something he didn’t realize he is NOT prepared for. LOL. Sabi ko is tumigil siya kasi ako, mom expired a year before she turned 60. Ina expired at a really curious age of 88. Doble 8 ‘yan. :D Eternity x 2. Trauma marketing is more than pain point probing. It’s a mix of nostalgia and core memories dressed to appeal to the aspirations and hidden wishes and fetish of your audience of one. Truth be told, apart from the two universal common grounds, taxes and death, marketing is the material and immaterial ground where your audience of one is slithering in as they try their best to manage their each and every mischief without the Maurader’s Map, The Philosopher’s Stone, The Elder Wand and the most coveted Cloak of Invisibility. Ever wonder why Pixar’s earlier films like Up, Toy Story, Cars, WALL-E and Inside Out make you tear up while the kids who are watching usually have their mouths wide open and their eye glued? Trauma marketing. Trauma therapy. :D HUY. LOL. Mag-keynote na ba ako sunod? PAK. Buo na first 100++ words pa lang. CHOZ. Feeling ko! Hahahahahaha. Sige, sa brown bag session season ko na lang para makapag-practice ako. Baka sabihin, masyado naman akong appealing to ad misericordiam pero ganun talaga ang marketing. Wala tayong maggagawa kung ‘di to bump up the numbers using irrefutable truths and let people consume in the name of battling their harshest and sadly, inescapable realities. HUYYYYY. ANO ‘YAN? Ang aga-aga, mhie. ‘Wag gigil.

I keep going back to my first mentor and his first pasavogue in class, DAY ZERO. Marketing is the moment you wake up until the moment you die. POTA. Siya na talaga magaling. Ateneo x UA&P Dragon’s Lair (eme) x all-boys kasing alpha male na mahilig sa beautiful beings and doings dahil malimit niyang nasi-slip na tumatawid sila sa Maryknoll noong kabataan niya. Gwapong-gwapo sa sarili e. LOL. HAHAHAHAHAHA. LOL. HAHAHAHAHA. Kaya kung ‘di lang din mas pasavogue sa unang buga niya, bye. CHZ. Ang layo pa nung first 100 words ko. Need to prune para pak. Namiss ko tuloy first mentor ko. Thinking since 2022 H2 na to reach out to her daughter to ask how he is bilang he rarely checks his email, and almost wala siyang digital footprint pero siya ‘yung nag-egg sa akin mag-adver and eventually, mag-digital. Sana this H2 2023, mapush ko na sarili to check on him and his whereabouts. I realized that ang deep, dark and delicious ng slant ni OG marketing dad ko. Hahahahaha. Ngayon lang din while I am typing this thought fart. Very first world but anchored on the Asian vibe as a Fil-Chi si OG marketing tatay. Also, sobrang swerte ko lang na napansin niya ako sa lahat ng kinanginang case studies and papers ko na siniguro kong A+ or A na walang minus para magkaroon ng runway na maging mentor ko siya bilang wala naman akong connection sa mundo ng elite marketeres noon hanggang ngayon. HAHAHAHAHA. Side Note 1: Mag-Shakey’s nga ako work on weekend para ma-imbibe ko ang kapangyarihan at bertud ni OG marketing tatay. ‘Yung mga pagtatawa niya sa ... pati na sa propenents of PH business management and marketing tulad nina... ayoko na lang mag-name drop kasi baka ma-SS ako. Hahahaha. We don’t do that literal shit gaming. Mag-Google ka if you’re not catching my drift. :D Pero, approve sa kanya si Minyong Ordonez at si Mon Jimenez. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Side Note 2: Back in practicum days, tawang-tawa ako kay Mon J. Pababa ako ng Pacific Star noon tapos nakasabay ko siya. Syempre, fan girl. Hahahahaha. Kaya todo kaba ko pero RBF. I just smiled a small smile. Then nahulog ‘yung twenty peso-bill niya. Pinulot niya pero ‘di abot kasi mala-Snorlax tummy niya. Tumingin siya sa akin tapos tumawa. Sabi OOPS. Then nag-bend over siya ng slight then naabot na niya. Ganun ang leader. Ganun ang management style. Mhie, owner na ‘yun ng isa sa mga profit-based ad sa Pinas for a good number of years, kaya mhie, ‘wag tayong magmaganda kung wala below minimum ang ganaps mo. HAHAHAHA. Part din ng onboarding nina Mon J noon ‘yung pagkwento ng humble beginnings nila where they actually make calls para sa billings nila tapos todo stress levels kasi nga ‘di biro lalo ‘pag ang mga kalaban mo sa billings are the high and mighty multinational agencies. Sa kanya ko rin natutunan na it’s okay to make mistakes, to cry like there’s no tomorrow and to fucking fail forward sa bawat Shakey’s with draft beer session namin sa South. Siya rin dahilan why I am unbothered na akala sa akin sugar baby ako kasi narealize ko rin na kahit lagi kaming may specific safe distance bilang tatay-anak nga ang aming connection, wala. Maraming gago at tarantadong akala mo maka-judge, wagas. Kinangina. At kikinang ang inang ito kasi lagot ako kay mother dragon ‘pag hindi. Saka mother dragon-approved si OG Gemini marketing dad as a tadong Taurus na sobrang maka-judge pero napapagpaliwanagan naman at dalisay makaintindi ‘pag kinausap mo na parang pre-school consistently in about a month or so. LOL. ________ Carla Bruni’s version of Moon River is cutting so deeply that even when I’m not spiraling like crazy, ansakit, bhe. Ansakit talaga. In fact, her melancholic style is really, really breathtaking. As we went biking that Sunday, wala ang mga bikers. Either iwas sa COVID trap na naman or natakot kasi parang ang lakas ng babagsak na ulan. Actually, dad refused to ride kasi baka nga raw umulan and crazy daw ako. Sabi ko naman, tigil siya kasi puwede namang sumilong. LOL. And ako bahala kay Vici if ever abutin kami ng ulan. JICYMI or want to indulge in trauma therapy, here’s the link to Carla’s Moon River cover. Also, grabe ‘yung version niya ng The Winner Takes It All. HUY. As a Mamma Mia fan and ABBA (another favorite ng nanay ko) na ‘di nakapanood ng musical at hinintay ang encore ng Mamma Mia sa Manila, mhieeee, ang tinde. :D

https://open.spotify.com/track/3sICyTPASesVzpfGc1nM2t PS: Searched my OG marketing tatay and nag-message na ako. LOL. Malamang, nakalimutan na naman neto PW neto sa personal email niya and malamang, nagpalit na ‘to ng 0917 OG number niya kaya, tignan natin if he still remembers me. Permission marketing x Shakey’s sa South. Tanong ko next if he is biking tapos padyakikak sesh kami. Ako naman manlibre sa kanya ng draft beer para maiba rin; pero for sure, as a gentleman, hindi na naman siya papayag mag-insist ako. :D Good dayyyyyyy! Let’s friggin’ slay the pests of the blue green ocean because this bitch is off to Juno szn. And will need to keep up because wala e, ‘di tayo good job, ever. LOLOLOLLOLL. PS2: Lagay ko lang din dito ‘yung isang email exchange namin bilan super busy AF person siya. Minsan, kwento niya sorry daw ‘di siya nakareply kasi nag-meeting siya and immersion sa isang cooperative somewhere. Nagzi-zipline pa ‘to with his wife na sobrang chixxx at her mature age. HIHIHIHIHIHIHI. Loveeet. Ganyan kaming mag-ama. LOL. Amfeee ko na naman. Makapang-asar sa isa’t isa, wagas. Far and few convos pero tagos na tagos. Shet. Naluluha ako. Servant leadership... ‘yan ang core ni OG marketing tatay and hopefully, I can emulate and apply it in my next chapter with NA’s HOW CAN I HELP vibe. :D Sakto, lapit na birthday neto. Humanda siya. :D Humanda siya talaga sa muli naming pagkikita. ‘Wag niya lang idadarang na naman sa social entrep kasi makakatikim siya sa akin ng monologue about 2024 and beyond. ;) Paka-arte talaga netong poised gentleman na gagi rin at his core, always. ‘Pag ‘di niya pa kilala si Brene Brown, bilhan ko siya ng book nun for his character arc development na rin. CHZ. Malamang matinde rin ang galawan ng SRA booklets niya kasi, mhie, ang galing niya magsulat kahit sobrang tanda na niya. HUHUHUHUHU. Sana all... not. Char. This reply was long time coming. I was caught up in quite a number of things and I didn't want to bounce off a reply without at least putting some thought to it. Nakakahiya naman - I was reading a literary gem. When you get to a certain age, birthdays are something you want to remember less of all celebrate. Thanks for the kind word ... I could not even remember if I did all of those things. I just do what I feel should be done - because I feel that it is part of sharing what I little I have. I'm glad you picked up a few things although I'm not quite sure if I'm exactly the model figure you should emulate. I have made so many mistakes in my life although a number of them have forged me to be a better and humbler person. It has taught me that the more you want to be in control, the less you are in control. Faith in the unseen gives you a sense of direction and a firm purpose in life even if you don't have a full grasp of it. That's the irony - by learning to live your life for others, you fulfill and find yourself. It's a bitter lesson learn - hopefully, in your case not too late in life. Thanks for reminding me I'm getting older, that there's still a few years that can be lived longer and for reminding me that the work is not finish in sharing what little life's riches one has. ! Belated happy birthday - di ka man lang nagpainom. Ha!ha! Hope you're getting younger in outlook and zest but mature in term's of taking the punches life throws at you. I'm freer now after last week's winding of my commitments; let's find time with the gang to toast to you year of inching to maturity. Eto naman part nung aking birthday message sa kanya kasi, mhie, ‘wag na. LOL. As I set foot in the real world, things start to toughen up; but I am confident that, as I fail, I'd be able to make it in time, for I carry a chunk of you in me. To live life with a passion of a kid To find a job I'll enjoy, and worry not about the money To commit mistakes early on To be mature enough to do the things I may not like, but are needed to be done Love, light and shadows in black and white, B

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greetings-inferiors · 1 year ago

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Olympus coliseum (kh2): A-tier. The coliseum isn’t as good as the first game (I don’t jive with the aesthetic as much or the points system) but I like the gimmicks. This might be the only kh2 world where it’s better to explore than its kh1 world so it does get points for that, but it’s definitely my least favourite numbered title Olympus.

Halloween town (kh2): B-tier. Look what they did to my boy. As a kid Halloween town was my favourite Disney world but in kh2… damn. It’s literally just a corridor between Halloween town and Christmas town. You can turn left (assuming you start in the hinterlands) in either town to go to a small room for a fight, and that’s it. Compared with kh1’s Halloween town with it’s twists and turns and secret passages, I genuinely think it might be the biggest let down of all the returning worlds. Honestly it’s probably an A-tier world, the fights are all excellent, I love Christmas town, and especially the experiment might be one of the best thematic ties in a Disney world, it’s an empty vessel trying to grapple with not having a heart, just like Roxas and the nobodies, but that’s one great moment in a sea of mediocre moments. The first visit is literally just the plot of the movie, to the point where oogie literally forgets the first game happened. The world is just a corridor going back and forth. It’s just dull. The experiment is honestly a highlight of the Disney worlds but with how awfully the rest of this world is done I just can’t put it on the same level as kh1’s Halloween town, which is the infinitely better Disney world. I genuinely think this is the biggest nostalgia letdown this franchise meant to be full of nostalgia letdowns has ever given me.

Agrabah (kh2): B-tier oh boy another Disney world that just kind of does the first game’s world but worse - okay but seriously though. Exploration wise? It’s a kh2 world. Agrabah the city is four rooms and one of them is a boss room and another room is a safe room. The other two rooms have THREE EXITS BETWEEN THEM tricking you into thinking the world’s bigger than it is. Kh1 had four rooms not even counting the safe rooms, and the boss fight moved through three of those four rooms. Each room led to every other room and it honestly made it feel like an interconnected city, just without any people. And then the cave of wonders - once again, kh2’s cave is just a hallway, with little minigames between fights. The only new area, the ruins - I hate the carpet mechanics and I think days was more fun because you got to explore it on foot. In fact, apart from Pete’s stealth mission, days Agrabah is just straight up better in every way. At least kh1 has worse bosses than kh2, to the point where they’re equally ranked. If I had to give an ordered ranking it’d be kh1, days, then kh2, but they’re all B-tier. Kh1’s just high B-tier, days is mid and then kh2 is low.

Pride lands (kh2): A-tier. I genuinely really like the pride lands. It’s got a really cinematic boss, a relatively fun to fight boss, the lion gameplay is actually really fun, being able to move while casting magic tricks me into thinking I’m playing kh3 and funnily enough the scale of the world does the same thing. I just wish the Scar bossfight had a cool heartless design instead of just Scar. And hey, the kh2 design philosophy of being a barren wasteland actually fits the theme here!

Atlantica (kh2): Melody of memory but epic. But seriously though D-tier. I didn’t go into the second room in this entire world until collecting the treasure chests I needed for journal completion because there’s literally no reason to go there aside from that. The musical segments themselves are mind numbingly dull, and for some reason feel really off? Like it feels like they just misaligned when you’re meant to hit the button to get an excellent. And not to be condescending or anything but like I’m a percussionist my job is to be on time, but I had to actively be off time to get excellents, it was really distracting. The original songs (I assume all but part of your world and under the sea are original) are shit and the songs from the movie are actually bearable, since god they really are good songs. At least with half of the songs you can get the requirement early then put your controller down and do something more useful with your time. I had as much fun in this world as with the chain of memories Disney worlds and am ranking it as such, fuck this world and thank god melody of memory is as good as it is so we can actually play a good kingdom hearts rhythm game.

100 acre wood (kh2): A-tier. This is IMO the weakest 100 acre wood of the three numbered titles, if only because I don’t think Pooh remembering Sora is as emotionally compelling as making friends with Sora or grappling with drifting away from Sora. The world also does fall into the pitfalls of kh2 world design but not to as big a degree as some other worlds. All that said, this might be the best selection of 100 acre wood minigames in the series? The world is only A-tier because they lack the charm of the first one which really makes the experience but I’d rather play these minigames in a vacuum. I think 3’s singular minigame is better than most of the kh2 minigames and re:com’s minigames are underrated as hell, but this is the most consistently good to play I think.

Hollow bastion/radiant garden (kh2): A-tier. It’s a good world, nothing really bad to say about it. The battle of a thousand heartless is sick, I love the final fantasy characters, the cavern of remembrance has actually good level design and 13 SUPERBOSSES???? YES PLEASE! It doesn’t jump out as great so is only an A-tier, it’s nowhere near the level of kh1’s Hollow Bastion, but it’s still good. At least this game HAS a playable hollow bastion/radiant garden *stares judgementally at kh3 (remind doesn’t count)*

Space paranoids (kh2): A-tier. I remember hating this world and can’t for the life of me remember why. The minigame kinda sucks but apart from that this world is great. After playing ddd I actually really enjoyed seeing it and interacting with tron. This is a good world, just a bit short and small.

Twilight town (kh2): S-TIER BABY OH MA GAWD IT GETS S-TIER FOR THE ROXAS PROLOGUE ALONE - AND THEN WE GET A WHOLE WORLD TO EXPLORE AFTER THAT???? This is the most kh1 kh2 world IMO. I think I might’ve said that already with a different world but if I did IT WAS ABOUT DISNEY WORLDS SO IT DOESN’T COUNT. You can get to any part of the town from anywhere and it’s really cool to see how interconnected it is. Struggle is such a cool minigame. Skateboarding around town is really fun. Going through the sewers and emerging in sunset terrace, a part of town I didn’t actually know you could get to as Sora as I just didn’t go in my first playthrough, was MAGIC. I love this world as a whole and ESPECIALLY as it plays in kh2, definitely the best version of twilight town in the series. Kh3 would’ve taken its title if it was, y’know, more than one room. Anyway yeah kh2 twilight town strong contender for my favourite world in the series.

The world that never was (kh2): S-tier. I love this world man. Is it a straight corridor? Yes, but that’s because you’re storming organisation XIII’s stronghold. It’s an uphill battle that this world’s gameplay and level design illustrates perfectly. The bossfight is great too, admittedly I’m not a fan of the Kaiju bossfights of kh1 and kh2, but the Xemnas fight at the end is so fucking awesome. And hacking through organisation members one by one is so sick. All of their fights are really fun. I quote Xigbar’s “clever little sneak!” Often and his jesting is so endlessly endearing. Luxord’s fight is actually fun because his games are actually winnable unlike his data fight MY GOD. Saïx is so goddamn cool, when he’s berserk and Donald and Goofy are dead and you’re just gliding away from him like your life depends on it as he just barrels towards you like a freight train that’s full of atomic bombs, I can’t help but smile giddily. And his death actually made me quite emotional ngl. Overall great world, oh also Riku as a party member is so sick. You’ll probably start seeing a theme of the final world of numbered titles being S-tier (that statement technically applies to 3, we’ll see how technically when we get there), but I can’t help it they’re so good.

Anyway yup those are my world rankings for kh2. It may seem like I was really critical but I genuinely love the game, it’s just goddamn the world design is awful. You really have to play it to understand. And also kh2 is the start of the trend of disney worlds being “just the movie plot but sora Donald and goofy are there.” It’s not always bad, for example I think Kingdom of Corona is a great world, but the best worlds story wise are the ones where it’s a unique scenario OR SDG have an actual impact on the story instead of taking some characters’ dialogue or standing in the background. KH1 straight up didn’t have this problem (except for maybe Tarzan but ummm haven’t watched it sorry) and com just did the kh1 worlds but again mostly and they were bad anyway. But kh2 reeeeeally just did the movie plot but with sdg in at least one of the original visit or revisit.

I love this game but the Disney worlds straight up aren’t good. It’s a good thing the combat and original worlds hold up so well.

Anyway re:coded worlds soon! Of the three I played I really enjoyed, I’m loving the combat and unique gimmicks for each world, and the story is practically nonexistent anyway so I can’t really criticise it! See you soon!

I should start doing a tier list of kingdom hearts worlds across the series

So far:

S-tier: Traverse town (KH1) (one of my favourite worlds in the whole series, it feels like home)

A-tier: Destiny islands (KH1) (I love destiny islands but they aren’t really an actual world… more the tutorial. Very good tutorial! But still), wonderland (very good world!!)

B-tier: agrabah (KH1) (would be A-tier but half of its bosses are awful (genie jafar and pot scorpion are two of my least favourite bosses in the whole game) and the others are just alright)

C-tier: deep jungle (not a bad world, but not a good world either. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t enjoy my time there)

I haven’t beaten Olympus (KH1) but it’s either A or S tier. Mainly just deciding whether to include the cups or not. The world alone? A-tier. With cups? S-tier. I also haven’t beaten 100 acre wood (KH1) yet but it’s easy S-tier, maybe even S+? Idk I’ll think about it.

Projected rankings for kingdom hearts 1:

Halloween town: S

Monstro: B

Atlantica: A

Neverland: A

Hollow bastion: S

End of the world: A or S. leaning towards S.

#kh marathon #long post

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stormee-jiiva · 2 years ago

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Movie Night

You and Kyōjurō watch How to Train Your Dragon. He certainly didn't expect you to cry however.

Kyōjurō Rengoku x GN!MC

Pure fluff

This is really just for me but on the off chance someone else here absolutely adores httyd here you :D i wrote all of this on my phone while watching the movie but had ti switch to PC so i could edit it properly. also i swear i haven't forgotten about my kyo x dragon rider mc series

You two had been aimlessly watching YouTube and scrolling mindlessly through social media that evening before you'd suddenly snapped up from your vegetative state. "Let's watch How to Train Your Dragon." You'd exclaimed. Kyōjurō stared at you for a moment, surprised by your sudden outburst. When you turned to him and he saw the absolute childlike glee in your eyes combined with that adorable little smile you gave when you were trying to contain your excitement he knew he couldn't say no. As if he could ever say no to you anyway.

He knew the film was your all time favorite, anyone that'd known you for more than 5 minutes knew you adored the franchise. In the year that Kyōjurō had been with you you'd watched the 'Race to The Edge' Netflix series twice as it was a natural habit of yours to watch it once every year. But even then he'd never actually watched the first film with you.

"Kyōjurō?"

With your small call of his name he was snatched from his thoughts only to realize from the look of sorrow that lay almost hidden under your now nervous smile that he hadn't actually answered your question yet. "Of course my love!" He'd almost shouted, quick to get the words out before your expression crumbled anymore. As soon as the words left his lips however the childlike glee returned tenfold.

You quickly jumped off the couch and almost sprinted over to the TV stand, small almost manic giggles leaving your lips the entire time. Kyōjurō found himself watching you with pure adoration. You were absolutely adorable like this. It was like all the world's negativity no longer existed to you. There was nothing but pure joy in your heart right now and Kyōjurō soon found himself smiling along with you. Until he noticed you were pulling out the DVDs. Now he was confused. The film was on Netflix why were you pulling out the DVD? He decided to ask instead of just internally questioning your actions.

"Little Flame?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you pulling out the DVDs? We can just stream it."

You turned to him with a blush on your cheeks and the film in hand. "Nostalgia and because why not. As a kid I always had the DVD and we always just watch things on streaming platforms these days. We have a DVD copy why not use it. Get that authentic childhood experience!" You'd explained. As you put the disc in Kyōjurō smiled, he was honoured that you wanted to share such a personal experience with him and besides you had a point, you owned a physical copy, why not use it.

As the trailers for Shrek: Happily Ever After and other once upcoming DreamWorks films started playing Kyōjurō felt you snuggle into his arm. When he looked down he saw the wide toothy grin you had on your face he couldn't help but smile with you.

As you quietly recited the voice lines of the various characters Kyōjurō wrapped his arms around you, you were so adorable he just couldn't help it. When you hummed along to the soundtrack playing in the background he took your hand in his, you were so lost in the film you didn't even notice.

You were only part ways into the movie--specifically the 'Forbidden Friendship' scene--before Kyōjurō felt you bury your face into his side, at first he didn't mind and just snuggled back into you. When Kyōjurō felt a faint wetness against his shirt and heard the faintest sniffle he immediately turned to you with concern etched on his face. He gently cupped your cheek to coax you out from your little snuggle spot only to be met with teary eyes and the most adorable smile that had your bottom lip caught on your canine tooth. "Are you okay my Little Flame?" Kyōjurō spoke gently. "This is just too perfect. I'm watching my favorite film of all time with the one I love most. How could I not cry tears of joy?" You'd said whilst wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Kyōjurō only held you tighter. How could he be so lucky?

By the end of the film you were bouncing your fists with pure glee, and as the credits rolled you began to sing along to the song. Kyōjurō eyed your bouncing form with love swirling in his eyes. It was in this moment Kyōjurō Rengoku knew what he wanted. He wanted to spend forever like this, with you.

The end credits song finished and the films various soundtracks started playing. You hummed along as Kyōjurō's thoughts swirled.

Romantic Flight started playing as Kyōjurō Rengoku took your hands in his. Taking you out of your little daydream.

"Will you marry me?"

#rengoku x reader #rengoku #kyojuro x reader #kimetsu rengoku #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #rengoku kyōjurō #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku x y/n #rengoku x you #demon slayer rengoku #how to train your dragon #httyd #this is really just for me #help #i actually cried #WUAH #fanfic #demon slayer #idk

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madness-in-the-flesh · 3 years ago

Note

Hear you like dark themes huh? Let me rub my hands together mischievously rq as I hand you this. Go as crazy as you want man. Also the Deimos and Gil prompts were peak perfection!

Reader knew Hoffnar for a long time, but was unbeknownst of his hidden obsession over them. But after taking a wellness check on him after the fall of Navada, they learn the hard way of what he's become. Hoffnar Tricky will no longer hide who he is. He only wants one thing right now and one thing only. Now Reader is running for their life through the lost city being chased by something undead, practically eldritch. It's all downhill the moment they took a wrong turn and find nowhere left to run.

Regardless of what you write I can't wait to see more of what you do!

Okay first off thank you !!!!!!! Hoping you enjoy my stuff in future as much as I love making it !!!!! +D and second, I am taking this request. Shoving it in between two slices of bread and eating it. Delicious. Thank you. Also if you mean by taking a wrong turn, You breaking your legs and being unable to escape. yes. wrong turn. Also, maybe got a LITTTLLLLE carried away and this is around 3195 words but shhh it's fine. I also apologize if this wasn't the stuff you wanted? I don't know I just kinda blanked and kept getting ideas. then deleting a part. then coming up with more ideas and re-writing, So eh, Not as happy with this as the other ones but regardless I hope you enjoy ! +)

Categorizing this under fics rather than a drabble. Or maybe all my drabbles class themselves as fics since I feel they're longer than what others consider drabbles? Idk if anyone has advice that would be appreciated <3 !!!!

Tricky - Run Rabbit Run

GENRE - Romantic

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Physical Violence, Gun Violence, Wounds, broken bones, Murder / implied Murder, Mention of controlling behaviour, Descriptions of gore, Heights / falling ( more so falling in this case ) - If you believe I've missed anything please let me know so I can add it

You wandered through the ruins of the once prospering city under the rule of Director Phobos. This place held both fond and lukewarm memories, mixing into a deep sense of nostalgia but that’s not the feeling you came for. No, you had your sights set on something a lot more important.

Ever since the place had fallen to ruin, You’d been hiding out, searching from place to place without contact with any of your old colleagues until setting up your own little home away from everything. You just wanted to live a normal life, which you did. Well, as normal as you could in a place like Nevada. With the occasional Zed’s appearing and some agents here and there: You mostly stuck to yourself from growing your own food ( which was miraculous within itself ) and your limited self defence training, You were set.

It never stopped the empty feeling of misery. You even began to doubt that the quote “ misery loves company ” held up. After all, Could your life be so Gloomy while your social life was so barren? So much so you’d begin talking to yourself as well as the photos that lined your wall. Mostly of your three colleagues. Dr Crackpot: Intense and confident, You couldn’t recall a dull moment with him but you also found it hard to keep up. Especially with his rivalry with Dr. Jebediah Christoff. Another man you grew close with while working with under the Nexus Core. He was but neither of those two were the closest.

Dr Hofnarr. At first, He was timid and the two of you didn’t interact too much. You both stuck to yourselves until you both decided to have lunch with Christoff but according to him, You two would get along and oh boy, did you. After finding a similar interest in clowns: it was almost all the two of you would discuss. From Bozo the Hysterical and Slapstick Stanley: you’d take about anything slightly resulting among the jester-y. However, as things went on you discovered more about each other and the things you enjoyed outside of clowns. Soon enough you’d say the two of you were best friends: Something that you least expected from a job the ones put out by the Nexus Core. You never agreed with the inhumane and horrid things that happened but kept up with it because in the end, it was you or them. Yet when you got a mysterious note from someone during office hours, a day before the city’s destruction telling you to run and never look back. You knew exactly who had sent it from the handwriting and why you needed to leave the city almost immediately and without question. You had put that much trust in Hofnarr.

Sure… he’d act weird sometimes towards you but you had always coughed it up to him either not fully grasping the appropriate social response. Then there was the time he had you transferred to work under him, a measly request but you just assumed he thought you were a good fit to help him with his job. That was all it could be, and it was nice working with a friend. Even if he could be semi-controlling to both you and others around you while working. Then according to Jeb, He never acted this way around other things, only with you. Each time though, you brushed it off, almost developing an equally horrible dependency on each other. But that’s all it was, a friendship ( to you, anyways ) that was nothing more than a mutual bond with no ill intent whatsoever.

Part of you regrets leaving all the same, Maybe you just assumed that you’d encounter each other again whether it be here or the next life. Perhaps even in the other place. Either way, You still longed to be with the people you once saw as your buddies… Especially Hofnarr. You missed having the socially awkward but easily excitable colleague, always anticipating your next conversation but you suppose the next one would never come. You longed to one day hopefully see the way he’d light up as the two of you would meet up for your break. Those were good times…

So much so you decided to throw away the advice he had given you and perform what would make most Nevadans grimace, especially when you had such a good thing going. Return to the city and perform a wellness check. Not that you knew the location of Hoffnar nor any of your old friends but it wouldn't hurt to try.

You had the chance to get those back though and you refused to pass it up. So much so you managed to access a forgotten database. Back in your time with the Nexus core, they had given all the “ important ” employees’ aka the scientists actually working on the distress signals Incase of an emergency which would be loaded onto a database to keep track, this was so that anyone went “ missing '' through their own means or taken hostage. Before leaving, You had removed it from yourself and left it in your office. You suppose it was another way for the director to be in control, Knowing where you were most of the time allowed for him to keep track and snuff out anyone he labelled suspicious. From what you’d read, a signal had been picked up in the city: A signal that you had assumed had been long lost. One that belonged to Hofnarr. The past week, Signals of Dr Hofnarr’s were sent out which read he was still in the. In different locations too which made you almost squirm with delight. Both Crackpot’s and Jeb’s hadn’t been sighted in years.

You had barely been able to get everything together to head to the city to find him. Maybe he knew where the others were? Just as long as you didn’t have to sit and think about the alienation you felt in your own home. It was around a 3 day trip to the city, With rest. You chose to mostly travel at night, In hopes of avoiding the masses that inhabited the Nevadan wasteland and the A.A.H.W. You did! For the most part, You had a run in with some bandits around the border but nothing you couldn’t handle! You were surprised on how the blood and guts didn’t phase you anymore. Maybe if it were your own...

The brains splattered on the ground and all you could think was: “ Wow! I can’t wait to tell Hofnarr about what I’ve been up too”. Maybe if you had kept up-to-date with everything going on around you, rather than becoming a hermit with limited news. You might have even thought twice about stepping back into the city but alas, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The same could be said about the both of you.

Checking the destination you’d marked on the map of the city, Colt 1911 secured in your hip. Your hands were shaky as hysteria ripped through you. Trying to keep yourself contained from all the excitement as you finally rounded the corner. Staring up at the eerily spray painted building. It’s like everything fell quiet when you did hear it

The distant yells from bandits were no longer audible. The ripping of flesh that as Zed’s bit into whatever poor sucker stumbled across them and backed up by the things aching pleas to live. Not even gunshots whirred through the air: Just eerie, well placed silence.

For the first time since you received that signal but not as long as you’d have liked to. Your pondering was cut short when the faint sound of a tune rang through the air. You perked up, looking around, cringing as it crept ever closer. You were in the middle of the street, no cover and hardly supposed you’d find some in the time whatever was making the melody would get here. All you had was the handgun on you. Pulling out the Colt 1911 and shoving the map back into your pocket. You awaited, staring off into the street’s opening.

But the thing never came around the corner. Alternatively, you were greeted by the presence of the music right by your ears and a hot breath on the back of your neck, causing you to dart around.

Your blood ran cold and heart rate quicken, a blanket of trepidation fell over you and did not let go. Bright red eyes stared out at you from the holes of the mask it wore, only inches from your face. Unmoving, and as redder than the Nevadan sky. You didn’t dare move but the grip on the gun grew more strained. Clammy palms clasping for anything to keep you anchored to the situations, You couldn't allow your mind to race in this sort of predicament.

The most haunting thing is those cardinal eyes screamed of familiarity but you swore you’d remember such a sight. His skin was rotting away at the bone, A sign the person in front of you was no longer alive. Nevertheless, he wasn’t attacking you like the traditional Zed would nor making any move to harm you. The thing seemed to be studying you as you did it. Glancing down at the sign in the things hand, bloody. You were also sure you’d spotted pieces of flesh and brain tissue. The most obnoxious thing was the boombox playing what seemed like such a simple fun tune. Just what the fuck was this shit playing at?

You decide you've seen enough, Moving to take a step back but today was just full of surprises. You jolted as an ear piercing. It sounded like someone was scratching a record, Yet it was forming words as easily as you could.

“ CLOWN KNOWS YOU !!! ” It beamed out, seemingly unphased by the fear written all over your face. You quickly decided you wouldn’t be dealing with it any longer, Pulling up the Cole 1911 and shooting it in the torse, almost emptying the ammo cartridge. Your hand was shaky, at least 3 of the 5 hitting: Which left 2 bullets in the chamber. The Red haired being was unphased and still standing, It didn’t even flinch as it was shot, rather, the clown just stared at you, holding your gaze until it looked down at its body. Pressing it’s hand in on the wounds, squirting the blood out of the laceration. Poking and prodding before looking back up at you. The thing began to go from twitching on occasion to convulsing violently with what you could only presume was rage. It leaked from the Zed and into the atmosphere around the two of you, Anger and tension so you wasted no time getting the fuck out of there. AS you turned and zipped around the corner. The music stopped with a thud and another blaring screech.

You wasted no time, pulling the map you’d once shoved into your pocket and running through the empty streets. Even now the only thing you could hear was your footsteps and own breath, heaving as your feet pounded against the pavement. Not daring to look behind you. It’s like all life in the area had gotten the fuck out of there once they realized. You couldn't keep up with your own thoughts since apparently this clown could outrun them too, pulling up your side as the clown’s legs outran your own: Long and almost cartoonishly stretching along the pavement beside you. You didn’t waste time attempting to once more shoot the clown, but both shots missed as the whiplash caused by the gun as it fired caused your aim to fly back too. Without much thought, You smacked the thing square in the head, bashing it’s head and causing it to trip. You huffed as it stared back at you, still running and taking the left as planned. Spinning around the corner and gazing at the apartment building to your right.

You didn’t stop as you turned down the alleyway and rushing up the steps leading to each apartment's patio and then to the roof. You pulled yourself up each one and looked down for a moment to see where the clown was, hoping to have lost the thing by running up the building. Instead, you caught sight of a sign tearing through the ground: The same sign that the clown had been holding. It seemed to pop it’s head out and stare at you from below. You flinched as the clown pointed at you, beginning to screech once again.

“ haha fuck you ” you said to no one in particular but with no haste as you continued upwards and onto the roof of the building. That’s… what sort of thing is able to do that? Nothing you’d known of. Grabbing to take another look towards the map then up, Making the route in your head.

If you jumped a couple buildings over, You’d be able to possibly be able to climb down another’s fire exit and make it to the sewer. Seeing it as a lot safer than travelling on the surface with whatever this thing happened to be on your tale. Sure, You wouldn’t have a clue where you were going but via working of the map: You’d probably be able to decipher where you would roughly be. You didn’t get your degree for nothing, after all.

You couldn’t contemplate the plan for much longer though, as you watched the shadow appear over your head and crawl across your sight from behind: You shoved the map back into your side bag and whipped your head around to see the thing around 6 ft off the ground and above you. You broke into a jog, cursing loudly as you felt yourself stumble as you got to the first ledge. It wasn’t a far jump but falling would definitely result in a nasty injury. One you didn't need right now. You leaped, For a second, You felt yourself falling, arms flying up . No ground keeping you in place, almost floating. But gravity pulled you back down, accompanied by the loud thud.

Stumbling once more, you continued to run across the next rooftop, being careful not to . You made sure not to look behind you: On the verge of a breakdown at how stressed your mind was with all the clown had made, defying every physics was gnawing your brain into possible mush but you had to push forward, You could think about the fact of a flying murder clown later, now all that mattered was how far you could jump between buildings. Skidding onto the side of a ledge and turning, You ran up the side and sprung once more. You continued for another two buildings before there was any comeuppance. You jumped, however upon misjudging just how much air you would have needed to jump, it caused you to land and fall against the building.

You quickly scuffled and gripped onto the building's edge. Clawing at the cornice as you panicked. You held on as tightly as you could, looking around for anything that could help. Only to be greeted by the thing that had been chasing you, Jolting out of shock. It was now above you glancing at your fingers only to look back at you. The colour drained from your face as you knew exactly what this fucker was planning

“ Don’t you FUCKING dare! ” You felt yourself yell at it, Only for it to tilt it’s head innocently. Like a child who’d been plotting a mischievous deed for the day, except this wasn’t innocent in the slightest. The feeling of the clown putting it’s hands on yours, The feeling of it’s skin was cold, deprived from all signs of life but from this angle: You could catch how it looked from under the mask.

From the gore, you could tell it was missing the skin from it’s mouth, Cheeks and lips torn clean off but the teeth weren’t damaged at all. When alive, they were clearly kept in good condition. Something glossy caught your eye before you could fully let the creature help remove all your fingers from the ledge. You froze up, staring in absolute horror as you soon came to realise just who the man before you is… or was… You didn’t think there was a semblance left of him now. Could there be when he’d most likely been alone for so long? Well there was one, unbeknownst you were that one piece. There person with his twisted mind never failed to forget. A root to a problem

“ Hofnarr… buddy? ” You spoke, choosing your words carefully but it was too late. The thing had picked off all your fingers and you began to fall. It felt just like how it had been a split second except now the ground wouldn’t catch you for 1 second more. You couldn’t find the words to scream out of fear. The man you’d missed for what felt like decades, was right in front of you and you didn’t even pick up on it until you were literally dangling of the edge of a fucking building. Staring up at Hofnarr as you felt yourself tearing through the air. Even once you landed, a sickening crack in both your legs and your head slamming back into something hard. The ground wasn’t as fucked as you thought it would be.

Finally finding your lungs as you screeched in pain as the ringing in your head began. You couldn't even think about looking down to where your legs were broken, bone out of place and piercing through the skin and beginning to bleed. The back of your head was already moist with your own plasma and it hurt to think. You shook as well as finding it hard to breathe, your brain partly fuzzy but filled with that pulsating ringing. You couldn’t focus on anything but the pain. Barely registering the fact that the remains of Hoffnar jumped down from the building and was slowly making his way over to you. Humming the tune that was playing earlier to himself. You whimpered and cried, unable to do anything else.

You suppose whatever grunt that had placed so many bin bags filled with rotting rubbish wouldn’t have guessed it would be saving a life, But part of you was glad. Another part of you wished that your brains had been splattered against the concrete. Still, you suppose that maybe he wouldn’t have let you fall if he didn’t know about it. Or would he?

You couldn’t tell but you could hear the soft giggles of your used-to-be friend, Cuddling next to you in the bin pile, snuggling into you. Almost purring into your neck. You didn’t have the strength to fight him off, Just laying and trying to process the pain as well as the fact that the man now cradling you like a baby, was your old pal Hofnarr.

“ Mine… You are MINE!! ” The voice called out, Still scratchy and unbearable to the ears. It only caused the pain to get worse, whimpering as the clown continued to nuzzle and purr into your neck.

You were fucked.

#madness combat #yandere madness combat #madness combat x reader #yandere madness combat x reader #Tricky #dr hofnarr

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laxmiree · 3 years ago

Text

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 33 - Lucien’s part Translation (Part 2)

IMPORTANT!!! to fully understand the story, prior knowledge of previous S2 chapters, especially ch 13, 14, 20, and 23 are needed. Before, I made a short summary that explain those chapters. I hope this can help :D. But if you’re here just for angst, there’s no need for that.

Translation under the cut~

Previous part in case you lost your way-> [Part 1]

[Chapter 33-17]

I have to give Lucien his medication, I can't let anything happen to him.

???: MC....

He believes in me, so I must...

???: MC!!

In the boundless darkness, I vaguely heard someone calling my name.

I opened my eyes abruptly, and the dazzling sunlight shone into them, causing me to squint subconsciously.

MC: Lucien...!

Lucien: MC, I'm here. I'm in front of you.

The blurred figure in front of me slowly faded away, and Lucien stood quietly in front of me, looking at my dazed appearance, showing a small smile。

Lucien: Good morning, MC.

I stared at him in disbelief, my stiff fingers slowly loosening.

The medicine in the palm of my hand fell to the ground, making a very clear sound.

MC: ...Lucien?

Lucien: Well, it's me.

Lucien: I think we probably made it.

He took the trouble to repeat himself again, but his soft face faded into a blur in my vision.

MC: But I... I haven't given you any medicine...

MC: After that circle of light appears, you fell in......

MC: I, did I miss the time... and you... are you just my hallucination…?

Tears kept falling, making my voice choked up with emotions.

I suddenly remembered a long time ago, all the despair and nostalgia when Lucien mistook me for a hallucination.

It turns out we are the same.

There are hesitation, surprise, and also fear of it being just a beautiful bubble.

The illusory and brilliant light made the moment seem even more unreal, and I was frozen in place.

Until a pair of hands gently brushed my cheek and the familiar warmth fell on my face through his fingers.

In my hazy vision, the smile on Lucien's face faded, and his narrow eyes shone with many complex emotions.

A few moments later, he reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, embracing me in his arms, with a whisper of sadness and tenderness in his tone.

Lucien: MC, I am not your hallucination.

Lucien: Can you hear them?

Lucien: The sounds of this heart beating non-stop.

Lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub.

I closed my eyes, leaned on his chest, and covered myself with his scent.

The sound of his heart beating vividly and clearly was heard in my ears, like a pair of gentle hands stroking my heart.

Make it beat along with it.

Lucien took my hand and led me to gently stroke his cheek and chest.

Lucien: Here... and here, it's all real.

His voice was a little hoarse, and a warm touch came from his fingertips, which led me to outline his clear and familiar outline.

My nose felt sour.

Lucien is still alive.

These four words alone made my eyes moist again.

Lucien: Do you believe it now?

Lucien gently rubbed his chin against my head and spoke in a soft voice.

Lucien: Now in your heart, I shouldn't become that big liar who doesn't keep his word, right?

I shook my head in response to the amusement in his tone. Then, I heard his slightly hesitant voice ring out.

Lucien: ...The way I looked just now, it scared you, didn't it?

MC: I was scared that you would never wake up for real.

I pursed my lips and answered frankly.

MC: But I'm more scared if.... I’m the one who caused it.

The breath above my head halted a little. After a long time, with a soft sigh, the arms that held me firmly tightened slightly.

Lucien: [softly] Fool...

The intimate and gentle voice is the same as before.

We snuggled quietly together until my panicked heart slowly settled down.

Lucien: Are you feeling better?

MC: ...Did I just behave embarrassingly.

Lucien: Of course not.

Lucien smiled at my face as I lifted it from his arms, and something in his eyes seemed to have quietly melted away.

But here... What exactly is this place?

After my mind calmed down, I finally looked around and noticed that we appeared to be sitting inside a dilapidated train.

Inside the train, the rusty interior is covered with yellow warning tape. In the blinding glare and whiteness outside the windows, the train seems to be at a standstill, but it also seems to be moving slowly.

Lucien: I guess this is probably an entrance. An entrance to the former site of the real orphanage.

As soon as Lucien's voice fell, the train suddenly shook. A harsh rubbing sound followed, and the door slowly opened.

Lucien: Let’s go.

Lucien: The answer you're looking for, it should be right here.

Lucien and MC enter the orphanage, which is almost the same as it was 17 years ago. MC comes to a cordoned warehouse and looks through the documents on the shelves.

Among the piles of worn-out papers, I rummaged carefully.

Each folder was clearly labeled, and I struggled to identify its contents through some blurred handwriting.

"Detailed list of experimental subjects", "Instructions on the use of equipment in the ninth laboratory", "Comparative observation records of active genes" ......

I kept opening each folder, feeling like I was getting closer to that once-distant answer until a folder's name came into view.

"Experimental record report”

I read the title above softly, opened the document in surprise, and found a lot of experimental data recorded on the yellowed paper inside.

And without exception, the word "failure" will be written on the final experimental results.

Could it be about that experiment 17 years ago ......?

Looking at the pages of paper with all kinds of names, the conjecture in my heart gradually became clear.

These people, I believe, were the children who were experimented on at the time.

It turned out that so many children were involved in this experiment, and in the end, only the word "failure" was used lightly to represent their meaning of existence.

I pursed my lips, feeling a silent rage.

Just when I was about to turn to the next page, the last line of the page in my hand made me freeze.

“Result of the 121st experiment: failed.”

Subject Name: Lucien.

[Chapter 33-18]

...Lucien?

I blinked in dismay and hurriedly flipped back several more pages to find Lucien's name all over the place.

Both the data and the date on the pages are changing, but only that result, which is always the same

“Failure”

And in the last experiment, Lucien's name was followed by a "Defective Product" stamp.

Those two words in scarlet are extraordinarily harsh.

My nails pressed hard into my palm, and I felt my whole body tremble with rage.

Why did these people give him such a definition?

What qualifications do they have to judge him?

He is clearly a living, breathing human being! Not just any object that can be defined and categorized!

It's obvious that they did the experiment on Lucien without his consent...

Lucien: Did you find anything?

The sudden sound made my fingertips twitch subconsciously, I looked up and bumped into Lucien's gaze.

With a smile on his face, he lowered the cordon in front of him with his hands in order to see me more clearly.

Lucien: I didn't realize they had left this warehouse behind.

Lucien's gaze flicked around casually, and with a final swipe, it swept across my face and landed on the folder in my hand.

Lucien: Looks like you found some answers.

I opened my mouth, but my throat was too dry to utter a word

In the cold light, I looked at Lucien's gentle brow, and the words I had just seen flashed before my eyes once again.

...has Lucien read this document?

I think of the bridge across the river a long time ago, when Lucien wasn't surprised. He didn't say anything and just asked me if I believed him.

The heart felt like it was twisted into a ball, and a gut-wrenching pain came from it.

I quietly squeezed my hand, sensing that if I told Lucien about the document just now, a crack would develop on the smile in front of me.

I closed the file in my hand and shook my head at Lucien with feigned disappointment.

MC: I haven't found anything yet.

I threw the document into the deepest part of the shelf.

In my heart, I sincerely hope that it will disappear from the world forever and ever.

To divert Lucien's attention, I picked up another file next to me by hand.

Lucien's eyes flickered as if he sensed my strangeness.

But seeing that I wasn't going to say anything, he didn't press the issue and just gazed at me silently.

I deliberately ignored his glance, and after flipping through several folders in a row, I was suddenly attracted by the content of a document.

"Experimental Log No. 0".

Seeing this line of familiar words, I suddenly had an inexplicable hunch.

After I flip it open, a lot of things will be different.

I couldn't help but slow my breathing, my fingertips trembling slightly before firmly flipping open the folder.

"Experimental content: A closed barrier layer is set around the CORE's host, MC, so that the host loses the ability of CORE and cannot be detected.”

"But due to the severe energy fluctuations in the core, the barrier may be eroded from the inside..."

"Because of the technical limitations of the barrier layer itself, it can also be affected by external energy and then destroyed.”

MC: What is this…

“CORE’s host MC”?！

A barrier layer that causes the host to lose their abilities?

I shuddered subconsciously, and my brain rang with a violent buzz.

It all points to one absolute answer –

That CORE that I have been searching so hard for is in my body.

Lucien: ... What's wrong?

Seeing that I was completely frozen in place, Lucien's expression also became serious at once.

He stretched out his hand to the folder in my hand. I subconsciously wanted to stop it, but I was still one step behind him.

MC: I....

I spoke in a harsh voice, and the thoughts in my mind were chaotically intertwined.

I finally reached the end of the long journey; I found the CORE.

It is only a small distance away from me, waiting for me to find my own direction and answer slowly.

That's what the little boy said, something that needs me more?

My heart was racing, I couldn't tell if I was excited or nervous at the moment.

Lucien should be surprised by this answer...

I raised my eyes, surprised to find that he was just looking at the files calmly.

After browsing a few pages, the expression on his face did not change, but he frowned slightly.

In the quiet space, only the sound of turning pages and the sound of our breathing from each other could be heard.

With a sigh, Lucien closed the file and dropped it in the deepest part of the shelf.

Lucien: You can pretend this never happened.

I was stunned and couldn't believe what I heard.

MC: What do you mean....

Why doesn't Lucien look surprised at all? On the contrary, there was a hint of little irritation.

It's like the answer that he clearly guessed will appear, but there’s still an uncontrollable emotion at the moment it actually appears.

Suddenly, a somewhat absurd-looking conjecture flashed through my mind.

MC: Lucien.... Did you know all along that CORE was inside me?

Lucien paused and lowered his eyes to the cordon under his palm, hiding the emotion in his eyes.

Lucien: Does the answer matter?

This question is like a stone thrown into the water, falling on my ear, making a crisp sound of water breaking.

I followed his gaze, and my eyes moved down slowly, towards the cordon between us.

For a moment, I suddenly felt as if I had become surrounded by a cordon, warning others not to approach.

Like all the documents on this shelf, it should be dusty and hidden in the silent corner of the world.

After an unknown amount of time, Lucien suddenly sighed and broke the silence.

Lucien: I didn't expect this technology to be available 17 years ago either.

His voice was soft, but it turned into a heavy stone on my chest, making me gasp a little.

MC: ...When did you know about this?

Lucien fell into silence again.

I stared at him blankly, unable to imagine anything that had occurred for Lucien to find CORE in my body .......

Suddenly, an answer popped into my mind.

MC: Is it...when you experimented on me in NW?

Everything I experienced in the NW lab still seems to be fresh in my head, even the dull pain of being torn apart at that time is still clearly burned in my mind.

Lucien: I was just guessing, I wasn't so sure.

MC: No, You are absolutely sure.

I am reminded of the text I just saw in the experiment record.

MC: ...I have a barrier in my body that inhibits the core, so I can't be recognized by the core test bullets.

MC: But the barrier layer can be affected by external energy and can be destroyed.

MC: As the bullets continued to shoot into my body, the barrier was slowly being reduced.

MC: And you, that's when you found out about it.

I looked into Lucien's eyes and said firmly, but there was a bit of helplessness in his expression.

Lucien: That experiment is over, it doesn't matter.

MC: But it's important to me!

I took a deep breath and spoke again with a trembling voice.

MC: In that experiment, I don't know what you did to make the results of my experiment look like "ordinary people"...

MC: Made me pass the NW test with flying colors, hiding the fact that I was carrying CORE.

Those small details that I had overlooked gradually became clear, like a piece of a puzzle filling in the gaps and piecing together a complete answer.

His coldness, his detachment, the way he pushed me away again and again...

At this moment, the answer is all there.

Back then, my heart was full of pain that fell on my body, but I forgot too many important things.

Huge guilt overwhelmed me at this moment and I didn't even dare to look up.

MC: Lucien...

I mumbled his name. I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

There are too many broken folds, and no matter how hard I try to smooth them out, I can't get rid of the stinging scars.

I opened my mouth, but it only turned into the most simple words-

MC: .....I’m sorry.

A helpless sigh sounded gentle, and I didn't look up, wondering what kind of look he would have at this moment.

Lucien: You don't need to apologize.

Lucien breathes a deep sigh.

Lucien: I also don’t want NW to know about this, I’m not doing this just for you. I have my own purpose and selfishness.

Lucien: So, you don't need to feel guilty.

The soft words fell on my ears, yet the folds between my brows did not dissipate.

I stubbornly kept my head down, letting the shame swell in my heart and even overwhelm me.

Suddenly, a pair of hands poked right in and pulled me out strongly.

MC: ...!

I spun and found myself in Lucien’s arms.

Lucien: You don't need to bow your head to me.

Lucien: I made you feel pain against your will and did not offer any explanation.

Lucien: You should really be angry with me.

Lucien: When anyone does something like this to you, you should really be angry.

MC: But, but I should trust you more...

My vision was blurred and I felt Lucien rest his head against my forehead

Lucien: I didn't trust you either.

Lucien: So we balance out.

The light but deep eyes were extremely close, and the dark tide that surged through them seemed to gently diffuse through my whole body, causing me to stop trembling.

Lucien: MC, let the past stay in the past. What matters now is the present.

Lucien: Since you have chosen to accept all of this, then you will have to continue to face the constant barrage of choices.

In the end, he added with a soft sigh.

Lucien: Sometimes ignorance can be a blessing.

I pursed my lips and looked at him earnestly.

MC: I’m not afraid.

MC: I will hold on to the answer I have finally found and keep running forward.

MC: Even if there are countless setbacks and sufferings waiting for me, I am willing to endure all of it.

There was a glimmer of light in Lucien's eyes, and his face was a little dazed.

Lucien: You are far stronger than I thought you would be.

Lucien: Perhaps some things would have been different if I had chosen to trust you.

I looked at him blankly, not knowing how to answer for a moment. But Lucien just smiled and carefully put me down.

Then he took my hand and led me out of the warehouse.

[Chapter 33-20]

Walking out of the orphanage, they find Xiao Yue and the NW team standing at the door. For various reasons, Xiao Yue became suspicious of Lucien, which would hinder Lucien’s future actions in NW.

Xiao Yue: I just happened to discover an interesting thing recently.

As he spoke, he took out a pistol from his pocket and pointed it straight at me.

Xiao Yue: There are some problems with the data in the CORE bullet experiment report, and I would like to know what Professor Lucien thinks about it.

The unique-looking pistol glowed with a strange cold light, and I instantly felt a chill climbing up my back.

The memory buried deep in my heart screamed out, and there was a faint tearing pain in my heart.

Lucien silently stood in front of me, speaking in a very icy tone.

Lucien: Are you questioning the conclusions of my experiment?

Xiao Yue: I just have some doubts and hope to get further proof.

Xiao Yue: The NW program has achieved a milestone success, and we're moving on to the next step. Isn't it?

Xiao Yue sharply turned the pistol around, put the butt of the gun against Lucien's eyes, and raised his chin.

The air was silent

I couldn't see Lucien's expression but I could feel his body tense up.

What is certain is that Xiao Yue is already suspicious of Lucien. Since he came for the CORE, there must be a result in this tug of war.

This is a test that kills two birds with one stone, not only to detect me as a core gene carrier but also to target Lucien's position and sincerity towards NW.

I looked up at his tense profile, and the sourness and unease in my heart were intertwined.

I know he will always find a way, and I trust him more than anyone to find the best answer to a problem.

But I don't want to stand behind him forever.

Lucien must have a reason for choosing to stay in NW, and it means there's still work to be done there.

I can't be his hindrance, I want to be his strength.

I lowered my eyes, pursed the corners of my lips, and let go of Lucien's hand, which I had been holding.

MC: Professor Lucien, let's end our cooperation.

MC: You have worked so hard this time.

I tried to sound suave and calm, but I still gave away a slight tremble.

Lucien didn't say anything, just clenched my fingertips firmly the moment I pulled them away.

I saw his pupils twinkle, and there was a lot of emotion there. They seem to be telling me, ‘whatever you want to do, stop.’

I didn't avoid his gaze, just pulled out my hand forcefully.

Xiao Yue: What is Miss MC playing?

Xiao Yue said as if he just watched a play, the corners of his mouth pulled out a mocking smile.

I faintly swept him a glance, pretending to speak without thinking.

MC: Officer Xiao, do you know that many civilizations have existed before this world?

MC told Xiao Yue about the folding world and other civilizations.

MC: These things concern the end of this world.

MC: Originally, I should have kept these secrets, but it was a pity that Professor Lucien found out.

MC: So in order to seal the enclosure, I made a deal with him.

I tugged the corner of my mouth and tried to sound sincere and trustworthy.

Lucien: MC.

Lucien called out my name softly, sounding a little helpless and anxious.

He is so smart, he must have sensed what I was thinking, and he hoped that I would stop talking about it.

But I didn't dare to turn around. I'm afraid that if I just meet his eyes, all my strength will collapse in an instant.

MC: I gave Professor Lucien some secrets that only I knew, and it just so happened that this information would help him accomplish something.

MC: I thought this was a win-win partnership for all three of us...

MC: But I didn't expect you guys to include me as a subject so soon. NW plan is really more rapid and meticulous than I thought.

I said and feigned a self-deprecating grin.

MC: So I've also left a backup. If an accident happens, Professor Lucien must do me a favor.

MC: As for what that favor is .... Officer Xiao probably has a few things in mind.

MC: Looks like we worked well together, we even fooled the NW commander.

Xiao Yue scanned Lucien, and then looked at me with a critical eye.

Xiao Yue: Do you think I believe it?

MC: Of course not. I just feel bad for Professor Lucien.

MC: It looks like I know this experiment leader of yours better than you, Mr. Xiao.

MC: I know how to use what he is most interested in as a bargaining chip for mutually beneficial cooperation.

I smiled lightly and glanced at Lucien with a slightly regretful look, trying to hide the emotions that were about to pour out.

MC: Professor Lucien, you tried so hard to get information from me, but you are still suspected by them, don't you think it's not worth it?

MC: Just take this opportunity and leave NW.

Lucien's deep eyes are terrifyingly heavy at the moment, but I seem to turn a blind eye

MC: If NW can be your springboard, so can I.

MC: Good birds choose wood to perch on. Professor Lucien must understand this principle.

The oppressive atmosphere spreads. I don't know if Xiao Yue believes my words. He seems to be thinking, and his face is full of shrewdness that I can't see any clues.

In the long silence, I don't know if it was just me, but there was a flash of sadness flashed across Lucien's face, but it was quickly concealed again.

A moment later, he hooked the corners of his mouth and broke the silence.

Lucien: It's a tempting offer.

Lucien: I just wonder how Miss. MC is going to convince me that she would be the more favorable springboard when she's in a difficult position to protect herself?

His voice was tentative and tinged with a certain acknowledgment and concord

I suddenly let out a sigh of relief, and some untimely complacency and expectations sprang up in my heart.

It seems to be telling, you see, in becoming your opponent, I will also be your best helper.

After saying that there is also cooperation between her and Lucien, the other party is stunned. Not wasting the chance, MC took out the mechanical box, and with the tree(?) power that she gained, she grabbed the CORE recognition gun from Xiao Yue’s hand.

I hurriedly waved my hand, trying to use this ability to build a temporary wall, but the severe pain suddenly exploded at this moment, and I fell to my knees unsupported.

My whole chest seems to be on fire, I try my best to control the power

I felt a huge towering tree rising up behind me, and in the blurred vision, only a white light remained.

As my brain buzzed, I looked at the gun I held in my hand and gazed at the shifting halo in a trance.

I seem to see a butterfly landing on a flat line, the line is so thin, as if it will break at the slightest touch.

Lucien: MC!

Lucien's voice sounded like it was coming from far away, and I blinked forcefully to see a rift between us.

And he was coming across toward me, his face had so many emotions I could not read. Somehow, my eyes were heavy with mist, blurring Lucien's face.

On the road that leads to walking with you, I will quicken my pace.

I stood up, raised the pistol, and pointed it at my chest.

“Bang-“

The stinging burning sensation exploded in my chest, and the body felt as if it was torn apart.

I struggled not to fall down.

In a haze, I saw the leaves rustling down from the branches and Lucien's panicked face…

The dense water mist engulfed all the scenes, and the last image left on the retina was me-

She slowly approached me and extended her arm to me.

I saw our figures overlapped.

The gears are returned to their original position.

On the far side of the rooftop, stood a young boy in a shirt and beach pants, wearing a strange duck-tongue hat.

He shakes his leg and looks at the tree that suddenly grows out of the sky a few miles away.

Little boy: You've finally made it this far.

Little boy: But can you change anything this time, given the doomed fate?

Continue -> Chapter 34

#THOSE SMALL MOMENTS OF INTIMACY FINALLY #mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc translations #mlqc spoilers #mlqc #mlqc cn #they reconciled for real this time :"#that 121st experiment broke me #just how many times he got experimented on sobs #this cliffhanger is illegal wtf

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