#so unpopular opinion number two i am not in my show watching era

[likeclarabow]

🔥 <33

binge watching shows sucks i cannot do it the only times in recent memory that i watched more than two episodes at a time are when i watch new girl with my bf and when i first watched 911 and those were lightning strike moments

the ideal show watching schedule is 1 per day/every few days at a scheduled time so you can have Tv Time good things are meant to last not be consumed in one day

[novicesmileegao]

Seemingly unpopular Dororo opinion. Beware: original manga spoilers ahead.

Original manga ending, as different as it may be from the previously intended one (I think, it's safe to assume, that manga probably was planned to be very different, taking in account a far higher number of demons set in the first chapter, as well as an amount of foreshadowing for Dororo's possible future), is strong, brilliant and pretty resourceful. Major spoilers, as well as ending-based fanfiction ideas under the cut (that's if I'm smart enough to add cut properly on the first try while on the mobile).

As always, feel free to use any of the ideas for the prompts to send me or for you own fanworks. Make my day by sharing the works with me, if you can. Or just drop by to tell what do you think on my take.

Note, that I'm not very familiar with the original Japanese text of manga, nor am I the sharpest reader of the bunch, so treat this post as my personal reader impression, that may contain a number of mistakes compared to canon. Anyway, let's proceed.

I mean, look at the ending situation-wise. If you, as an author, for one or another reason, have to end your story somewhere mid-adventure, what the most obvious ending would be? To me — the characters set out on another adventure kind of thing with the "we will totally win some day if we have each other's back and keep going!" kind of mood. But no, we get something more beautiful and complex here (no matter how much pain it brings).

It's interesting, that many readers automatically assume, that it took Hyakkimaru 50 years to defeat all the demons, and Dororo never heard from him again. While this is indeed a valid version, but it's kinda... not the only one. The ending as it is, brings out too many possibilities to count.

Manga states two facts: a) no one knows, where Hyakkimaru went to, after he left the former Daigo household. b) the Hall of hell and 48 statues where destroyed by the fire during the war 50 years later.

However, does Dororo, the title character, count in this "no one" as well, or does that passage mainly refer to former Daigo subjects/common folks in general? Unclear. So, both versions are possible. If we assume the second one, why they didn't know?

He never come back to this particular village?

He did, but majority of the people didn't identify him as Hyakkimaru, the legendary demon-slaying hero? Was it thanks to:

— Jukai's old kimono met it's heroinc end in depth of some pit, so Hyakki (while totally not mourning the attire) purchased a new one and didn't look like himself anymore (also feat. a new fancy haircut by demons or by some rando's sword);

— It genuinely took a long time, so population somewhat changed and he looks older himself (does he grow out some stupid mustache as well?);

— Some crazy nobles/bandits eliminated the village;

— Not many people could remember him clearly, as they were too busy overthrowing heir tyrant lord;

— He was showing up incognito, meaning to find out if Dororo is well and watch from afar, then go his way?

Of course, Dororo, out of all people would recognize Hyakkimaru anytime anywhere, but the questions are:

— Would the kid stay in this particular village and for how long? Would try to search or/and to follow Hyakkimaru however later on, or rather move on? Would hold the grudge or try to understand his position? Would be willing or unwilling to remember, to meet again? What they both would expect from the reunion and what would get?

Knowing the two, both of them would be probably unsure, if the other person wants to see them anymore and will make it super-awkward.

— Would Dororo have close friends or found family there (for example, this older kid, who led the rebellion, and his friends), who could learn more about Hyakkimaru, than other people in the village?

— Would Dororo be well accustomed or seen as more of an outsider, not many truly care about in the village?

— Is Dororo alive by the time Hyakkimaru returned? If not, was the death notable, heroic and well remembered? (and also, is the culprit still around?).

Conclusion: probably, Hyakkimaru, returned to the village he left Dororo in, but nobody paid him too much attention, except a few people. Probably he didn't return, be it for obviously sad reasons or due to his mother and Dororo being somewhere else, so he had no buisness in this particular part of land anymore. In fact, Dororo and Hyakkimaru could reunite at any point. Or not reunite.

And if the passage is referring not people from the former Daigo land, but, idk, japanese common folk in general, the cause may be stories and rumors about Hyakkimaru and/or Dororo were becoming different or vague over the time and depending on the region. That's what is based on the first fact. Now on with the second. Statues, destroyed 50 years later, don't necessarily correlate with the fact demons were defeated. Why? Simple. I don't recall a statue broken anytime a demon was defeated in the manga. So, demons could be pretty much defeated, and hall could remain untouched due to many reasons. Hyakkimaru probably didn't bother to destroy it as figures were no use anyway and he had things to do, as he is free now. Probably, destruction of the hall was unrelated, casual in fact, as if the war killed itself at the end. Or, probably it has everything to do with Hyakkimaru, since possibilities are many as well.

Was Hyakkimaru succeed?

Or did he fall, unbeknownst to him leaving Dororo/Dororo's descendants/disciples to finish the mission as his memorial?

Was Hyakkimaru alone watching the cursed hall to burn, or was Dororo standing by his side, supporting him as always?

Or was that lone crying hero actually Dororo, telling the sky and their stupid beloved brother, that everything is over at last? Probably it was, in fact, over. Probably, it wasn't, and these two were entertained for the several upcoming reincarnations during the different eras until they actually won.

The beauty of the ending not only doesn't chancel out canonical possibilities of any of this. It pretty much evokes them all and screams the possibilities. And depending on variety of smaller details like:

characters' relationships dynamic and general feels;

them having more new friends and relatives (not everyone of them dies as well)

Dororo's future professional occupation(s), life posituon, familial status/clan relationships;

who is alive and who... not much;

genres and tropes mixed in and so on,

we can get a hugest variety of the stories possible. All thanks to the hints. Don't get me wrong, "going on another adventure" is the rad ending trope too. But in this particular case it'd look more vague, so I love how the manga turned out in general.

I hope formatting was good enough, I tried my best to make the ideas well defined.

[lyralumina]

For the ask thing you reblogged, Kaiba or Mai!

I will do both because I cannot pick just one! Character(s): Seto Kaiba and Mai Kujaku First Impressions:Seto- “Oh! He’s really pretty…” Young me said as I looked away from the television, blushing bright red as Kaiba was actually my first anime/childhood crush and he made me spill my cereal that day because I gushed too hard. Such wild times. Mai- “Oh gosh she’s really pretty too! I like her hair its so curly and big!” Young me said as I pointed at her enthusiastically. Impressions Now: Seto- He may have problems that he needs to resolve and I sure hope they resolve but I still love him flaws and all. He has a special place in my heart and I want everyone to know that he is the reason I kept watching the show and his deck master is my favorite monster of all time. I owe my childhood to him. Thanks Kaiba. Mai- She deserved so much better than what the writers and show gave her. She is a woman who can kick ass and I love that about her. I wish she was in Dark Side Of Dimensions as a cameo of sorts but sadly she wasn’t there. Favorite Moment: Seto- There are a lot that I can list off but to save you from me droning on and on I will list just two: 1. This is from the Duelist of the Roses game but when Seto Rosenkruez gives the Rose Duelist the pendant/seal of the Yorkists as a parting gift is such a sentimental moment to me. I played the game as a child and I remember actually crying in front of my television because oh man did I enjoy that game so much. Rosenkruez is my favorite character from that game and I would die for him. (Also he states that if the Rose Duelist was ever in trouble, they could show that to the Seto in their era and Seto will help them out in any way he can because Rosenkruez is him from the past so imagine a younger version of you The Rose Duelist going up to Seto Kaiba in need of whatever and showing the pendant/seal. That’s what I always imagined as a kid and even today.)2. Seto during Season One as he is trying to rescue Mokuba from Pegasus and has that whole scene where he is talking to his self-programmed computer who has the voice and attitude of a hair salon stylist woman who just loves to talk gossip all day. Just him and that song ‘Now I’m Back’ playing is such a great moment because… Oh them… him and that computer AI? They’re friends. Mai-  Again I will list two because its only fair since I did it with Kaiba: 1. During Battle City where she was having her duel with Yami Marik literally scared me as a kid because oh man did she not deserve that trip to the shadow realm and to top it all off I remember I lost a friend around the time I saw that episode so it really hit me emotionally so thanks Season 2 and Yami Marik. 2. Season 4 came around and all the times she acted like a boss was always something great to see, she is the Dueling Queen of Duel Monsters within her Era after all. From her flipping her hair dramatically to her just riding on a motorcycle was just great. Ideas For A Story: Seto- I did state in a previous ask about a story idea I had for Anzu Mazaki but Seto does come into play with that idea.Mai- I do have an inside AU of mine which is an Idol AU. Mai in that Idol AU is the top designer to the costume/coord/clothing brand that Ryou Bakura and Marik use. She acts pretty much the same way as she does in canon but there are a few things I added into the fray for her: 1. She actually dropped out of High School due to receiving job offers to launch her brand she actually came up with and semi-launched within that time. She chose to quit her education and go forth with officially launching her brand and Ryou is the first to use her brand and then Marik came as the second one to use her brand. Mai will do anything to protect her brand and her users because she sacrificed so much to even start her brand. Do not dare use the fact that she sacrificed her education against her she will shatter because she wanted to graduate on stage and get her diploma so badly. 2. Mai is a world famous fashion designer who has had harsh criticism for her brand being too skimpy seeing as its a ‘sexy type’ brand and she is having high school boys adorn her clothing does not make it any better but if you dare talk shit to Mai then get ready to hear shit be thrown back by Jounouchi, Ryou, Marik, and Yugi. 3. Once Ryou and Marik graduate out of high school with their diploma’s, Mai actually does hire Marik as an apprentice for her brand. Unpopular Opinions: Seto-  I am going to be flat out honest but Seto graduated earlier than the rest of the cast. He did not bother to walk on stage, he just grabbed his diploma from Domino High and went back to work over at Kaiba Corporation as if nothing had happened but Isono did congratulate him on his ‘graduation’. You all have to pry that out of my dead cold hands.Mai-  Mai should have been with everyone else when Atem passed on into the afterlife. This was such a missed opportunity like come on guys. Favorite Relationships: Seto- 1. Azureshipping (Seto Kaiba and Anzu Mazaki) 2. Blueshipping (Seto Kaiba and Kisara) 3. Puppyshipping/Violetshipping (Seto Kaiba and Jounouchi Katsuya) 4. Rivalshipping (Seto Kaiba and Yugi Muto) 5. Trustshipping (Seto Kaiba and Ishizu Ishtar) Mai- 1. Polarshipping (Jounouchi Katsuya and Mai Kujaku) (Okay do not give me hate, they start dating when Jounouchi turns eighteen because yes I am aware that Mai is in her twenties and that Jounouchi is still in his teens so there you go.)2. Visionshipping (Mai Kujaku and Ishizu Ishtar) 3. Danceshipping (Mai Kujaku and Anzu Mazaki) Favorite Headcanons: Okay I am only doing one per character because this is getting long: Seto- Seto loves musicals and will do anything to see the ones that catch his attention. These are the following musicals that he does love with a burning passion: 1. Hamilton (Seto was there on opening night and sat front row and actually cried during such numbers like Burn, and Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. Eliza is his favorite and you bet your ass he stood up to clap for the cast during their bows in which prompted everyone to stand up and do the same and he got to meet the cast backstage because he is freaking Seto Kaiba and he can do that. He got their autographs. If you wish for me to elaborate more on this please hit me up and I will do so.) 2. La La Land 3. Anastasia The Musical 4. Phantom Of The Opera 5. Spring Awakening Mai- After the dueling career, Mai becomes the a world famous fashion and makeup model. She actually is a huge social icon for women as she is not skinny and looks like the wind can just whisk her away. She looks like an average woman and that is something that many can look and see themselves as. Mai let the world know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

[angelic-essence]

My Disney Princess Ranking from Worst to Best.

This is my Disney Princess Ranking. My list will include the Disney Princess Lineup, Moana, Frozen, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Peter Pan and The Black Cauldron. I also own none of these gifs and credit goes to their owners. Disclamier: this my opinion on the princesses and these thoughts are basically useless because my opinion is not really that important, I just wanted a place to put out my thoughts.

17. Princess Kida from Atlantis: The Lost Empire

To be fully honest, her ranking is because I haven’t seen this film in a long time. It’s not one that I personally like. The Experimental Era of Disney was, in my opinion, the weakest releases of films in the entire course of Disney Animation and certainly my least favorite era. She just never stood out to me. I need to watch Atlantis again to get a fresher opinion of her.

16. Mulan from Mulan

For a lot of people, Mulan is a very high choice on their list for Princess Rankings. She breaks stereotypes, she’s independent. she’s empowering. Overall, a phenomenal role model for young girls. However, the biggest issue that I have with Mulan is that she is not a princess. She is a heroine. It’s not something I could simply overlook because there are other strong Disney heroines that are not recognized for the efforts that they put into their own movies. There is also Disney Princesses that don’t make the cut in the Disney Princess lineup because the lack of popularity of the movie and/or lack of popularity with the characters like Princess Kida for example. Even though Mulan is a strong female character, it is just not fair to the other heroines or forgotten princesses to allow her to be ranked better or, honestly, be in the princess line up at all.

15. Princess Tiger Lily from Peter Pan

Princess Tiger Lily is a very much side character in Peter Pan. She literally doesn’t say anything in Peter Pan. However, I am including her on this list because in she is a princess so she deserves a place among the other princesses...even if her role is very mild in Peter Pan. 

14. Snow White from Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs

Snow White is a beautifully animated film. Completely groundbreaking for its time. Snow White is here simply because of her stereotype. She is very much a victim of her time as a female lead and it’s more difficult for her standing up against the other princesses to be allowed any higher. I love Snow White though and her film will always be a timeless classic.

13. Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty.

To start this out, Princess Aurora is one of my favorite princesses. She is beautiful. Her singing voice is far better than any other Disney Princess. She is kind and her ability to be embraced by the forest animals is lovely. She just lacks dialogue. We don’t know much about her personality. It’s okay though because her movie is, in my opinion, one of Walt Disney’s best work. The overall art of the film is breathtaking.

12. Princess Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron

Okay, so this one is a super unpopular opinion here but I love Princess Eilonwy and The Black Cauldron. Out of all the forgotten princesses, she deserves so much better. She is the first princess in Disney History to rescue the male protagonist. She wasn’t just the love interest or a prize to be won. During the time The Black Cauldron was released she can be viewed as feminist because of how she stands up for herself and how she drove the plot line forward. Without her, Taran wouldn��t have escaped and the pig wouldn’t have been saved. The only reason why she is this low on my list is because of the movie, The Black Cauldron. This film was scattered and missing a lot of information, but that is what happens whenever a two hour movie gets cut down to a hour long movie. Disney needs to re-release this film unedited so the audience can get a view on if this film is actually a flop or not. Also to learn more about Princess Eilonwy and how she evolves or doesn’t evolve in the movie. Even though there are so many good qualities about her, there is just too much information missing to allow her any higher.

11. Pocahontas from Pocahontas

To be honest, Pocahontas is not one of my favorite Disney Princesses or Disney Films. The overall film just didn’t affect me very much. However, she has tons of strong female qualities that quite a few of the Disney Princesses on this list don’t have. She also is very free spirited and lives life how she wants it. Her tattoo is also the best. 

10. Merida from Brave

I personally feel Merida is underappreciated as Disney Princess. She is such a strong female character and just wants to do what she loves and wants to dress how she wants to dress and wants to live life how she sees it. She is a great role model because she unconventional compared to the other Disney Princesses. Her actions and choices are based on how comfortable she is and that’s such a powerful message. The only princess that could compare to her qualities is Mulan. The difference is that Merida is actually a princess while Mulan is not. Which ultimately hindered Mulan’s spot on this list.

9. Ariel from The Little Mermaid

Ariel is a great princess. She is talented, curious, and excited to learn about new things. She also has gorgeous hair. She reminds me of the typical teenager which makes her so relatable even though she is a mermaid. Her downfall comes from the fact she doesn’t know how to express to Prince Eric who she is. A giant flaw in The Little Mermaid is that Ariel knows how to write. She signed Ursula's scroll so the fact that she didn’t just write down who she was to Eric explaining the situation makes her come across as kind of ignorant. 

8. Belle from Beauty and The Beast

What makes Belle great is that she is very intelligent and caring towards her father.  She also brings out the kindest in the Beast which makes her very unique. The reason why Belle is number 8 on my list is because she is definitely over hyped. She is very average looking compared against the other princesses and she also comes off as kind of pretentious in the movie. The dancing scene with her and the beast is without a doubt one of my favorite Disney Animations though.

7. Anna from Frozen

Anna is a very hopeful female lead. She’s optimistic, lively, and very loving-nature character. She is number 7 on my list because she is kind of passive. She only stands up for herself when she feels the situation is dire and her lack of self- confidence with herself from feeling abandoned by her sister for most of her life makes her overly desperate for love...which makes her a little gullible in certain situations. However, she is a strong character in the span of this list and does help bring across the new era of Disney well. Her self-journey is also so important to the plot line of Frozen.

6. Jasmine from Aladdin

Jasmine is, without a doubt, the strongest female lead in the Disney Renaissance era. Her role is so strong that she comes off as more than just supporting character. She demands respect and that’s great. The only issue that she has is that she doesn’t know what goes on outside of her palace. This small detail hinders her full knowledge of how her kingdom is struggling and how she could help them as their future queen.

5. Tiana from The Princess and The Frog

Tiana is probably one of the best Disney Princesses that Disney has came out with. What makes her great is that she is hardworking and knows that working hard is what is what makes us successful in life. She is very independent and is not really interested in love. She just wants to make her father proud. It’s fascinating because its the prince that falls in love with her first and it is because of who is she is on the inside. Hardworking, loyal, and compassionate. She is just really great.

4. Cinderella from Cinderella

This placement will probably come as a surprise to lots because the oldest Disney Princesses are viewed as passive. However, she is one of the strongest princesses in the entire princess lineup. Cinderella comes from an abusive environment. One that she has to adjust to. She does the best that she can to be a kindhearted and gentle person despite everything she has been through. Which is something that takes real strength. She also was never really looking for love. She just wanted a night out to experience freedom from her abusive household. Which makes her really incredible for her time. Her ultimate goal was freedom....not love, which is an interesting plot line in a film that Walt Disney actually worked on.

3. Rapunzel from Tangled.

Rapunzel is my favorite Disney Princess. She multi-talented, bubbly, and lighthearted. Just like Cinderella, her living environment is super abusive but it is abusive in a way that she doesn’t recognize it until the end of the film. That is an important detail because of how she was treated defines so much of her personality. In her new tv show, they expand on the affects of her abuse with anxiety driven nightmares that totally help us to see her character growth.  She doesn’t let the abuse hinder her from wanting to experience life though. She wants to travel freely and continues to let optimism guide her forward.

2. Moana from Moana

Moana is a determine natural born leader who does everything she can to save her people. She is great for so many reasons that it is hard to list. She is a great role model for young girls. She strives to succeed even though she makes mistakes. She doesn’t have a love interest. Her movie is about her believing in herself and her self-journey. The only reason why she is in second is because I believe that my number one choice is the best choice out of all the Disney Princesses.

1. Elsa from Frozen

I know a lot of people will hate this because they think Frozen is over marketed, over hyped, and over praised....but, to me, Frozen is one of the best Disney films of all time. I know people will say: Elsa is a queen and doesn’t really deserve that spot. Elsa is one of the most interesting characters Disney has ever released. What makes her number one in my eyes is how she overcomes adversity. In the beginning of the film, she is very much consumed by her anxiety and her fears to allow anyone to come close to her. As the film goes on, she learns that her fears only hinder her and she learns how to control her anxiety. She shows traits PTSD with the flashback of her accidentally hurting her sister. Which gives us a glimpse of her struggles on a mental level more than what Disney movies have done in the past. We also see her embrace her powers and who she is. Elsa is a groundbreaking character that changed the direction of Disney. A couple of movies before Frozen tried to succeed at what Frozen did, Modernizing Disney but Frozen is the one that succeeded at it. Without Elsa, Moana would be vastly different. Both the movie and the character. And I think its important for people to know Elsa role within the Disney franchise and how she has changed the game. She also didn’t have a love interest because the entire movie is about her self-journey and what she overcomes.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 1st December 2019

REVIEWING THE CHARTS SPEEDRUN – 1:20 (WR)

Top 10

For the eighth consecutive week, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is at #1.

Up a whopping 17 spaces off of the debut last week is “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi hits number-two, becoming his fifth top ten hit in the UK.

At number-three, we have Stormzy’s big debut for the final single from his upcoming sophomore album, Heavy is the Head. With the album release, this can likely get to #1, but for now, “Own It” featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy has debuted at number-three. It’s Stormzy’s 19th UK Top 40 hit and eighth placement in the top 10, Sheeran’s 53rd UK Top 40 hit (Jesus Christ – that might actually be an inaccurate figure since I manually counted) and 27th top 10, and Burna Boy’s highest-ever peaking song and both his third UK Top 40 and top 10 hit.

The two new top three entries sadly crush Dua Lipa’s hopes at a #1, as “Don’t Start Now” is down two spaces to number-four. Let’s hope the Christmas period isn’t too rough on this track.

Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted”, is also down two off of the debut at number-five, fairing a lot better than I expected it to, to be honest.

Lewis Capaldi is two-for-two in the top 10, as “Bruises” is steady at number-six.

Unfortunately, Arizona Zervas is up to number-seven with the clunker that is “ROXANNE”... trust me, I’ll be covering this in about a month, although not to that much of an extent. My year-end worst list seems to be pretty small and uninteresting this year, actually.

“Memories” by Maroon 5 is down three spaces to number-eight. God, that sounded like an AI-written sentence.

At number-nine, we have Ed Sheeran’s pathetic “South of the Border” featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B continuing to fall down two spaces this week.

Finally, at #10, finishing off the top 10, is “Down Like That” by KSI, Rick Ross, Lil Baby and S-X, becoming what I’m pretty sure is the first UK top 10 hit for all artists here, although I could be wrong about that. Congratulations, I suppose, although the song is far from great.

Climbers

I am my own best source when fact-checking what the BBC site says. I don’t go to the Official Chart Company’s UK Singles Chart, I don’t go to ACharts, I go to last week’s REVIEWING THE CHARTS, especially for situations like this, in which BBC messes it up so badly that I’m confused to how they messed it up in the first place. BBC says that “Pump it Up” by DJ Endor, is down nine to #29. The issue is that it is placed after #20, and #22 continues after it. After looking at my climbers section last week, I found that “Pump it Up” by Endor was already at #29... last week. So, “Pump it Up” by Endor is up eight spaces to #21... and “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is up seven spaces off of the debut to #28. BBC got that one wrong, too.

Fallers

There are only a couple here. We have the unfortunate continuing fall for the great “Must Be” by J Hus down seven spots only on its third week down to #20, as well as a couple of massive songs that have probably had their on-demand streaming numbers cut. It sounds about time for “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean and “Circles” by Post Malone to be affected by that arbitrary chart rule and they have, as they’re now down 21 and 26 spaces respectively, at #25 and #35. Oh, and “Paper Cuts” by Dave continues to flop down 10 spaces at #40.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We have a pretty plentiful number of drop-outs and, uncommon for the UK Top 40, two returning entries. The drop-outs are all reasonable and in order of their last chart position (For now, at least), we have “Buss Down” by Aitch featuring ZieZie getting its streaming cut from #21, Dermot Kennedy’s ballad “Outnumbered” finishing its run at #23, “Jerry Sprunger” by Tory Lanez featuring T-Pain flubbering off of the debut last week from #32 after Chixtape 5 fails to continue its hype beyond the first week, “Post Malone” by Sam Feldt featuring RANI dropping out from #34, “Follow God” by Kanye West embarrassing itself out from #36, “Opp Thot” by Poundz suffering from the amount of new and returning entries from #37 (This one’s the most likely to rebound), “Lover” by Taylor Swift dropping out from #38 despite returning last week and the release of the first dance remix, and finally, as expected from last week, “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae, is out from #40. Hopefully, I never have to type that mouthful again. Our first returning entry is “Orphans” by Coldplay returning to #27 after dropping out from last week, thanks to the album release. Our second, well...

IT’S CHRISTMAS INNIT

It’s starting! We have a second returning entry this week in the top 40, and it’s “All I Want Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #34, which is making a play for #1 in the US. I’ve already reviewed the song last year, and I just love this song even more now, to be honest. That’s the only Christmas song in the top 40 (For now), but I figured I should just mention the other Christmas songs in the top 75. “Fairytale of New Yorks” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is back at #71, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is at #43... and that’s all for now. We’ll definitely have more to fill out the new It’s Christmas Innit section next week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “Can’t Fight This Feeling” – Bastille featuring the London Contemporary Orchestra

Produced by Mara Carlyle and Hugh Brunt – Peaked at #4 in Scotland

It’s not exactly an unpopular opinion to admit that the original REO Speedwagon version of “Can’t Fight This Feeling” from 1984 is an incredibly well-written pop song, especially for the time, but real talk: I don’t like that version of the song at all. While I can’t deny the anthemic chorus, the song is such a slog at nearly five freaking minutes and it is exhaustingly dull. I was actually quite interested in hearing the full version of the cover, as the John Lewis Christmas advert always has a hit single to go along with it, in fact the next song I’ll be reviewing includes an artist who got their big break from John Lewis... and it’s only three minutes, and better yet, features the London Contemporary Orchestra in their first credited UK Top 40 appearance. I also like Dan Smith’s voice a hell of a lot more than I do Kevin Cronin’s. Notably, for a bit of trivia, this isn’t a John Lewis-exclusive single, as it features on a Waitrose advert as well. Huh. Anyway, is Bastille’s eighth UK Top 40 hit any good? Well, I feel it’s misleading to call it a Bastille song as this is very much Dan Smith crooning over an admittedly pretty gorgeous and busy orchestral rendition of the original Speedwagon single. Smith does sound overwhelmed in the mix by the strings at times, and the dude has a couple weak moments at times, especially during the verses, but he mostly holds his own and I’m always a sucker for some well-placed horns riffing out of nowhere. Even then, I don’t think the song is all that great, and nearly two minutes in, there’s a really abrupt, distorted string riff that clips heavily and it just sounds gross. Do I prefer it to the original REO Speedwagon song? Of course I do – it’s nearly half the length and I’m a fan of both Bastille and well... the Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack, as the tones of this instrumentation do resemble that at points (Which is never a bad thing). Oh, and I love the addition of the twinkly pianos at the end as a nice touch. Otherwise, it’s pretty good, but I don’t see it reaching the heights of the Lily Allen’s cover of “Somewhere Only We Know”, also from the John Lewis advert, that peaked at #1 in 2013. I guess it didn’t warm the cockles of my cockles.

#36 – “Into the Unknown” – Idina Menzel and AURORA – from the Frozen II soundtrack

Produced by Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez and Christophe Beck – Peaked at #55 in the US and #5 in South Korea

I don’t know or care about Frozen II. I am not a film person; I watch about five movies a year, and they typically aren’t boring Disney sequels that pose no interest for someone who has already seen the first film. I don’t think the sequel will ever reach the absolute phenomena that the original Frozen was because that era starting from 2013 is impossible to match, even for the monopoly that is Disney. This is Idina Menzel, or as most people know her, Elsa’s fourth UK Top 40 hit excluding those that she had as part of the Glee cast and AURORA’s second after the indie darling’s brief stint of fame she experienced due to covering the Oasis B-side from 1994 that was attached to a standalone single that peaked at #3 and got them sued by Neil Innes of Monty Python fame. AURORA’s version was featured in a John Lewis advert in 2015 and peaked at #11, and then she became a folktronica-influenced art pop songstress, who is still getting calls from companies to promote their products, despite the inaccessibility of her newer material. Regardless, this is “Let it Go” part two, or at least Disney’s attempt at one, and I have no idea what relevance this has to the film, but the song itself is okay, although it struggles, as do a lot of cinematic, orchestral show tunes, with structure and a lack of transitions that make the shifts in sections any less abrupt, as at times, it does feel like a certain string section is off-beat simply because you’re never prepared for what’s coming next. AURORA’s verse has a lot of odd empty space, and overall, her presence seems to kill the momentum of the song entirely, even if the chorus has a lot of swell despite some painful, dry mixing that Disney tends to have. Also, this will not be the next “Let it Go”. It’s way too disjointed and not nearly catchy enough, and nobody will be able to hit the belting notes these guys do in the chorus... except maybe Brendon Urie, who in fact did hit those notes in his inferior cover that debuted at #74 (Might be one of the first times since at least 2016 where both the US and the UK have had the same song twice on their charts). Weezer have a song on this soundtrack, too, called “Lost in the Woods”, and I kind of like it, to be honest, with some pretty cool, chugging guitar riffs and great harmonies from Cuomo in the pre-chorus. It’s kind of reminiscent fo the White Album, but I digress. “Into the Unknown” is listenable; next!

#35 – “French Kisses” – ZieZie featuring Aitch

Produced by Tré Jean-Marie

This might not be listenable, however. Aitch was the worst part of their last collaboration, “Buss Down”, which ironically dropped out this week (It’s almost like they called the Official Charts Company and asked them to switch the two out), with ZieZie being equally mediocre, although in his chorus, he was pretty cool, and in the verse, he was vile. I don’t have high expectations is what I’m saying. What a fitting producer for this song, though, and it’s ZieZie’s third and Aitch’s sixth UK Top 40 hit, so... eh? I actually quite like the vintage French vocal and string sample used here, but it’s abruptly drowned out by a bass-heavy Afroswing beat that sounds pretty okay but ZieZie doesn’t play it cool here, reaching into his relatively non-existent higher register in both the chorus and his verse, although admittedly that pre-chorus has some swagger. The post-chorus, on the other hand, has a nasal repetition of nonsense sounds, and Aitch just... Jesus, man, what the hell WAS that? He sounds half-dead, and his monotonous flow is continually harbouring on off-beat! His lyrical content is far from interesting either as he follows the main theme of the song, which is “I’ll give this girl French kisses and make her girl, “ooh-la-la”.” It’s a bit of a flimsy concept, and to quote a geography teacher, there isn’t enough place-specific detail to really excuse this dreck. This is pretty disposable.

#31 – “Loyal” – PARTYNEXTDOOR and Drake

Produced by Dregotjuice, OG Parker and 40 – Peaked at #63 in the US and #19 in Canada

Alright, well, I’m surprised this debuted so high but I’m not surprised it’s here. I’ve only ever liked PARTYNEXTDOOR on uncredited guest appearances (“Ghost Town” by Kanye and “Ratchet Happy Birthday” by Drake) so that doesn’t exactly bode well for him. I assume this will be a very Views or More Life-type song, which also doesn’t bode well as those albums are some of Drake’s worst but obviously have a very large PARTYNEXTDOOR influence. I don’t have much hope for this, but it’s PARTYNEXTDOOR’s third UK Top 40 hit (First as lead artist), and God knows how many of those Drake has at this point. The song starts off well with some lo-fi keys that could make a very smooth R&B ballad... but then the snares come in and it’s obvious this is some garbage. PARTYNEXTDOOR sounds checked-out as does Drake, although at times PARTY decides to just belt and it sounds freaking awful. It’s almost hilarious, actually. To be honest, the synths paint a really pretty atmosphere behind the Young Thug impersonator with the out-of-place “Ayy” ad-libs and the 808s that cover any sense of lead melody. This barely has a groove or melody to catch onto, and Drake’s heavily Auto-Tuned which leads me to believe he just came into the studio for about five minutes whilst drunk. It sounds like both of these lads are drunk, actually. Honestly, I’ve been nice. This is disposable, mediocre garbage, although the outro does seem promising, with some nice strings and cute synths... but I doubt that’ll lead to anything good on the album, if it even does. I doubt PARTY has that foresight. God, this guy is really only good for uncredited backing vocals, huh?

#16 – “New Dior” – DigDat and D-Block Europe

Produced by RXR Music

Okay, this song debuting high shouldn’t be a surprise. D-Block Europe get this high purely off of YouTube and Spotify every few weeks, and they’ve gotten to their highest peak of #16 before with “Kitchen Kings” and even “Nookie” featuring Lil Baby. DigDat, on the other hand, has never reached this high with one of his three UK Top 40 singles, not even “Guten Tag” with Hardy Caprio, which I’m still impressed by and don’t think he’ll make anything as good as that anytime soon, especially not with these two hacks. Young Adz and... the other one have consistently proved to be some of the most untalented yet also the funniest duo from this crop of British rap of recent years. I can’t take these guys seriously, and I know they want me to. This starts as all D-Block Europe songs do, with some incoherent murmuring from Young Adz and nonsensical guitar strumming, but this one has a lot of momentum initially, with Young Adz’s comedic inflections in the chorus (Which is all he has: for once, he doesn’t provide a verse) failing to cover up the hilariously cheap producer tag... but Goddamn it, I like it. I’ll admit, this is a pretty decent song all things considered. First of all, Sean Donoghue, the mixer of this song, sorted out the issues D-Block Europe constantly have with vocal mixing, and to be honest, now that I’ve got to hear his voice a lot better, Young Adz may be more talented of a singer than I thought, although he sticks to a pretty monotone cadence here. In the post-chorus, Young Adz genuinely raps pretty well, and the 808 hits that pound through the beat are a cool addition, as are the yells that act as screaming ad-libs throughout the chorus. DigDat is on-brand, and by that I mean a misogynist and untrusting gangster, but he has two verses here, and they both detail his court case with his brother – not in great detail, but it’s really interesting how he depicts his materialistic mindset failing to let prison tame him. It’s kind of emotional, which is something I never expected D-Block Europe to be. Dirtbike LB is just extra weight as always, although his line about telling his mother that Percocets aren’t vitamins is kind of funny. For once, I think these guys have won me over... well, this song has. I still don’t think these guys are any good, and this may be a complete fluke, but I don’t care. This song is good.

#3 – “Own It” – Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy

Produced by Fred Gibson and Jay Weathers

Somehow, I have less hope in this song than I do D-Block Europe’s. Since I’ve already said everything else about this song in the top 10 section, I can skip the pre-amble and get this done pretty quickly. I like the sporadic vocal samples, they have a crowd cheering effect and a sound you can genuinely attribute to found footage rather than some sampled pack. Stormzy doesn’t sound great here, in fact, he sounds asleep and oddly distorted, clipping in the mix several times in the chorus. The synths here are airy and boring, the groove is stiff, the ad-libs are awkward and the beat cuts out for no reason when they come in. Burna Boy comes in with Stormzy on the chorus and for a random bridge / interlude, so I don’t know his purpose here and it makes the song feel very disjointed. The extra glittery synths in the post-chorus are really nice-sounding, and Ed Sheeran can sing better than any of these guys, so he somehow gets the crown of the best verse here, especially due to the harmonies with his multi-tracked vocals and Burna Boy’s. I don’t like Ed, but he definitely brought his talent here, even though his vocodered contributions on the chorus are pretty gross, in fact the mixing on the song entirely is pretty gross – and muddy. Everything sounds a lot more distorted and loud than it should. Is it disappointing? For Stormzy, yes, but for a Stormzy collaboration with Ed Sheeran and extra baggage Burna Boy, it’s about what I expected.

Conclusion

Well, Best of the Week goes to... DigDat and D-Block Europe. Colour me surprised, but “New Dior” is actually pretty good, and Honourable Mention goes to Bastille and the London Contemporary Orchestra for their improvement on the REO Speedwagon classic, “Can’t Fight This Feeling”. Worst of the Week is definitely going to PARTYNEXTDOOR and Drake for “Loyal”, and Dishonourable Mention... uh, sure, ZieZie and Aitch. “French Kisses”. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank and I’ll see you next week!