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mark-of-chrysus · 2 years ago

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With Danny being on loop for thousand of times already wouldn't he also have genderbend of him-self? I wonder what changes in everyone perspective. Especially gun since that guy is a pervert as Goo says.

Maybe she could make this work?

Being a woman was hard. Being an attractive woman was a nightmare, plain and simple. Simply put, being looped into a female body was a lesson in many things, including but not limited to patience, tolerance, humility, and the sheer ability to put up with so much bullshit on a daily basis that it made Danny want to pull her hair out of her skull strand by strand.

To begin with, everyone seemed to suddenly view him as an unowned object, ready for the taking. That was usually resolved with a couple broken bones and broken egos, though some people took more convincing to finally get the message.

Patience. Cross.

Then came the pain. And blood. Oh, god, so much blood! And the pain could be utterly unbearable, leaving him curled on the floor just prying for it to go away. He knew what periods were, of course, but no one had ever told him they could get this bad!

Tolerance. Cross.

Society as a whole apparently expected him to act as if she was less of everything they had applauded him for being. They saw her achievements as boasting or cheating, yet jeered whenever she would get lower than they expected. Nothing she did was ever good enough, but she wasn't allowed to do better. Danny was no stranger to the bigotry of men, but its hist had never resonated in him quite how they did then.

Humility. Cross.

When the assumptions and expectations came she just decided to call it quits. Fuck the world!

Ability to deal with bullshit on a daily basis. Cross.

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In an attempt to regain some semblance of control over her life, Danny decided to stock as closely as possible to the original timeline of events. It didn't work.

For one, Jay seemed to be actively avoiding her. She could understand that, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. At least he still remained friendly with her, if a bit shyer than before.

Zack was another problem. He had annoyed her enough to make her fight him during the second day, but the outcome had been much more different. The boxer was defeated by a girl in front of the whole school, wounding his pride, but since then he had taken to trying to embarrass her in a twisted attempt at payback. It wasn't pretty, but she knew that with enough time he would grow more mature, as he always did, and perhaps there would be hope for e reconciliation.

Similarly to her two classmates, many of her usual friends acted rather oddly in her presence or didn't interact with her at all. The exception to this was, surprisingly, the two troublemakers from the Vocal Department.

Danny had no idea how she did it, but she has somehow gotten adopted into their little clique and they stuck to her like glue ever since, even going as far as leaving Duke alone when she asked them. Their silly antics were a balm to the ache in her soul that had come with losing the chance to bond with the people that she held dear in the same way she always did. That wasn't a problem, the fighting prodigy told herself, she would just have to find new ways to bond with them. For now, she was content with the two friends she had, however odd their friendship might've been. She might be able to make this work.

"HUH? That's stupid!" Vin Jin said a bit louder than he had to, secretly trying to wake his black-haired friend from whatever trance she was in.

"You just can't figure out how great it is because you're a moron!" Mary retorted, gripping the girl's elbow. "Isn't that right Danny?"

That got her to snap out of her thoughts and look up at the bickering pair. She gave them a clueless smile and nod, unaware of them sighing in relief as she once again joined in on the conversation. She had the habit of getting lost in thought every once in a while and they worried about how vulnerable it left her. That's why they could never leave her side. Even now, they could feel the hungry gazes coming from all over the cafeteria, aimed at the beautiful transfer girl. She may be strong enough to fight them off, but that didn't stop those freaky perverts from thinking all sorts of creepy shit about her.

Mary and Vin held a silent conversation between them as the girl ate, cluelessly. These trance-like episodes had become more frequent in the past week and they needed to find a way to put a stop to them. The School Festival was coming up, which is when the two convened to put their plan into action.

When Zack was chosen for the Slave Auction Danny could only cringe and give him her best wishes. Usually, when he was chosen for the Auction in previous loops either he would have to spend a hellish date with Lala or Crystal would come save him, then give him the same speech about not judging people based on their looks. This usually ended in one of two ways, he would lose his temper and yell back, leading to Gun pummeling him into the floor, or he would take it quietly before informing Crystal that he couldn't go out with her because he didn't like her, and would, again, end up kissing the pavement, courtesy of her bodyguard overreacting and hitting him (what a shocker!).

The event went as expected, with Crystal buying the boxer and them leaving for the parking lot. Only, this time Danny followed behind them, as did her two best friends. They didn't even bother sneaking around, just followed closely behind, curious to see what would happen.

"Oh, so it's that way, huh" The black-haired beauty muttered under her breath, seeing Zack's expression grow stormier with each passing moment before he erupted into a screaming match with the Choi heiress.

"Who would've thought that cheeky bugger would still have it in him!" Vin mused out loud next to her, entertained.

Mary agreed, unbothered by the growing tension. Before any of them could blink Danny had bolted from her place, skidding to a halt right in front of the screaming boy. A few centimeters from her face she held Gun's ankle in a vise-like grip, her eyes narrowed sharp and unmoving from the bodyguard's face.

Zack stumbled back half a step, swallowing the knot in his throat. I didn't even see that coming, how did she get here so fast?! He recalled how she had easily sent him flying with just one punch. Back then he had dismissed it as a fluke, but what if...

Crystal stared at the pretty girl who had stopped Gun's Brazilian kick in silent horror and a trace of awe. She had noticed the three watching them, but hadn't thought anything of it. They looked like your typical high-school students, possibly even bullies. Now that she looked closer, however, there was a certain air of danger around each and every one of them, though most notably from the tall black-haired girl. A cold droplet of sweat slid down her cheek, she needed to stop this before it got out of hand!

One look at Gun's face told her that it was too late. He was smiling, no, grinning that abnormally large grin of his that only came when he saw someone as a challenge. His glasses had been discarded onto the ground, revealing the demonic-looking black eyes behind them. This wasn't a fight that could be prevented. Frantically, Crystal pulled out her phone and dialed her father, prying that the maniac wouldn't kill the girl until then.

"Yes, Crystal?" Charles' voice held a note of annoyance to it that, were she not panicking, she would've hesitated before.

"It's Gun" she relayed into the phone panicky "he's gotten into a fight with some girl! He's got that crazy grin of his and he's taken off his glasses-"

A loud thud sounded from behind her and she turned to look, expecting the worst. Crystal froze with her mouth wide open, blinking dumbly at the scene before her. It wasn't the bold girl's body laying bloody and motionless on the concrete. It was Gun's. His shirt was ripped and his hair a mess. His body was a mess of red and able and purple, though by the labored rising and falling of his chest he wasn't dead yet. One of his hands was twisted at an unnatural angle and the other looked very much broken, the bone visibly poking out beneath the skin, near his elbow.

Zack was looking on in a mix of horror and awe, frozen in place by the display of such skill and ruthlessness. She's fast...and deadly, he thought to himself, paling a bit. Meanwhile, Vin and Mary seemed unbothered by the sight and cheered their friend on, the latter holding a phone in her hand and probably filming the ordeal.

"Crystal! CRYSTAL!" Her father's voice snapped her out of it and she was once again able to speak.

"He's down. Out cold. Not dead though." She told him, unable to hide the tremor in her voice. "I didn't even have time to see-"

A shadow loomed over her trembling body and she slowly rose her head. The girl's gaze was detached and cold like she was staring down at a tiny mouse not worth her time. When she spoke her voice sounded like a mix between satisfied and indifferent.

"Take him back."

Crystal could only nod with her eyes tightly shut, feeling this predator's hot breath on her face. She scurried towards the fallen man and dragged him into the car before getting into the driver's seat and spreading out of the parking lot.

"Woohoo! Holy shit!" A pair of arms draped themselves over her shoulders and she found herself sandwiched between two warm bodies.

"That was fucking epic!" Vin praised the shorter girl, while his blonde friend nodded in agreement from the other side.

Danny allowed herself a small smile at the warm feeling that bloomed in her chest. The coldness in her body was washed away by laughter and other such explicit exclamations and praises. Yeah, she could make this work.

#time loop #lookism manhwa #webtoon lookism #lookism #zack lee #daniel park #female daniel #vin jin #gun park #crystal choi #mary kim

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audryt · 5 months ago

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Stop talking down to women as a reflex

When men refute each other, neither is by default punished for it; they are often just "debating" or "disagreeing". But women are raised being attacked and put down for "disagreeing" and aren't seen as equal in debates. Women are labeled "difficult"and "emotional" if they don't just agree with any idiotic point a man makes and "dumb" if they contradict something a man says that is incorrect. They are not allowed to call a man out for exhibiting any kind of negative behavior toward them. These are all behaviors men are taught when they are boys. They're arbitrary, not natural. But men benefit from not thinking about why they say what they say and are often afraid to examine why they have different emotional reactions to men vs women when having the exact same conversation with one versus the other. They are afraid their bros will belittle them if they don't belittle women. It's CONDITIONED behavior, not "natural" gender behavior.

I have five brothers whose gazillion friends spent lots of time at my house so I've seen how boys behave around each other versus girls my whole life. I grew up in a male-centric religion and a male-centric nation. I have worked in the male-controlled gaming and film industries and sat in rooms filled with male executives in the publishing industry. I have interacted with male computer geeks my entire life as an early adopter of computers and worked in extremely sexist gaming environments.

And I have more male friends as an adult than I can count. I don't mean the husbands of female friends, either. And all orientations. And I will say as a woman who has been at the end of every kind of treament a man can attempt to subject a woman to, that it is CHOICE to be asshole toward women and not realize it. It is CHOICE not to examine your conditioned behavior and ask if you were taught to deliberately walk all over women, belittle them, tear them down, show off, do anything but simply respect them as a peer.

We are peers and that is all. We are your equals, like it or not. We are NOT merely your mothers sisters therapists inferiors sympathetic ears sexual objects or future girlfriends. We are not naive kind understanding submissive secretarial sensitive fragile flirty seductive by nature or someone who should do a job equal to yours while being paid less. And we are not humiliating or insulting you by saying no to whatever you might want us to do for you or that you want us to be to you. We are individuals with our own lives that have nothing to do with you.

Men are raised to be full of sexist bullshit and they need to admit it. Even men who believe in equality can be oblivious to behavior patterns they follow that are designed to oppress women. There is no society, as of this moment, where women don't have to deal with sexism in all its forms on a daily basis and often on an hourly basis or even every minute they are breathing.

I know men who understand this and have done the work that you have to do in order to not be an asshole to women. When men choose not to see the truth or do the work, that is entirely on their shoulders. They are choosing to reinforce a bigoted system by not looking in the mirror and admitting they were raised to be sexist toward women and have to change their own behavior if they really, truly, genuinely want to treat the female sex with real respect. And you don't get bonus points if you do. If you expect a reward or to be accepted or praised or even laid for treating women equally, you're still not treating them equally.

#male privilege #masculine #women #sexism #gender roles #toxic masculinity #abuse #male behavior #being a man #macho

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hcrdknocklife · 9 months ago

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"I think it's the sad reality of trying to date anyone these days, and not just the men. Most people seem to enter a relationship when they don't even feel secure with themselves. They think that they could only feel good about themselves by being with someone else, and that's always a recipe for disaster." Hayes noted, breathing out a sigh of disappointment at the mere thought of how relationships seemed to work these days. It really was unfortunate that the bar was so low. But truth was that it always had been, at least according his own experience. Being the son of Nora Hayes had been more than enough for him to understand that, considering that Christopher Adams could not even do the bare minimum of being faithful in a relationship. Perhaps that was why Hayes had always strived to be better. To be better than his father. To treat everyone better than his mother had been treated. It really was unfortunate that his attitude towards how to treat people in a relationship was considered a rarity when it shouldn't be. "Well, you can always trust me, Riley... with anything. I know you've probably been wondering why someone like me would ever want to spend an entire evening hearing you complain, considering how busy I am... and I know, I just told you that I have a lot on my plate. But I would rather spend my time being there for someone who deserves to have my time than deal with the bureaucratic bullshit that I'm being forced to put up with on a daily basis, and getting to know one of my hardworking employees is better than literally anything else I could be doing." And he meant it. "Of course, I would... I mean, if you need me to help you study, I'll be more than happy to do it. I know you won't have any issues with the subject matter, but the oral components of the boards can be brutal if you don't know how to talk to the panel of doctors who will conduct that part of the exam. Most of the time, they're older... and much experienced. They're like vultures. They'll try to intimidate you just to see if you'll crack under the pressure. You need to know how to present yourself in front of them, and I can definitely help you with that. As I said, my office is always open." He offered them a rather reassuring smile, hoping that they understood that it really was no bother.

Riley's words cause the smile on his lips to grow wider, and Hayes found himself wondering how she had been able to make such an assumption about his mother. "Well, you're not wrong about that. I guess she didn't have that many expectations for me, especially when it came to what kind of doctor I would be. She always told me that being a good doctor means that I should be a good person first. I've tried my best to be that, but these days... I spend so much time being surrounded by people who care about saving money than saving lives, I feel like I might turn into one of them. It's hard, being around people like that, and still staying true to yourself. But I'm doing the best I can." He admitted, his smile not fading from his lips as he spoke before a soft chuckle bubbled out of him upon hearing what she had to say about his father. "It's fine if you do judge him harshly just based on what you do know about him. You clearly seem to know more than enough to make that call. Besides, you're not that far off. My father may have been a brilliant surgeon, but he was not the nicest person... at least, according to most people who knew him. I only knew him during his last days, so his attitude had somewhat changed when he realized that he was dying. But I was told that he was quite an arrogant man. He did not treat his staff with respect, and often prioritized his prestige over patient care. He took on high profile surgeries to make himself look good, and when making budget cuts, it's the pro bono budget that he often tried to cut down on. Even I wouldn't have been able to work for a man like him, so I'm not all that surprised by you saying that." Perhaps he should thank his lucky stars that his father was dead, because he was certain that he could not have met Riley if the man was still here. "In that case, how about I bring you lunch instead?" He suggested, a teasing smile plastered across his lips.

"You know, if you had told me this sooner, I would have just brought us there instead of here... you know, if that would've made you more comfortable." Needless to say, Hayes had always been keen on supporting small, family-owned businesses. Knowing that Riley had been raised by such hardworking parents had only caused for him to have more respect towards them, not to mention the fact that the kind of upbringing that she must have had perfectly explained why she had such an incredible work ethic. She worked just as hard. "Resorting to violence, are we? Not a good look on you, Dr. Ellis." He could not help but let out a rather hearty laugh, and he shook his head. "So, what you're telling me is that your parents still gave you a relatively normal childhood despite everything else that was going on? It's good to know that your mother let you be a child, and encouraged you to have that as a hobby... which seems to be helping you out with your stress in the long run. Most parents are not like that. But I have to be honest. I can't even imagine it... little Riley in a kitchen, clothes all covered in flour." The thought of it alone had been enough to make him smile wider, and he leaned back in his seat. "What was it like? Growing up with your parents?" Truth be told, a part of Hayes had been quite curious to learn more about their childhood, and family life, considering that they seemed much more relaxed when speaking of their parents' cafe than anything else that they had talked about that evening. He wanted to let Riley relax after the day that she has had. But he also not deny the part where he had also been curious to know how it felt... being raised in a family that seemed much more stable than the one he did not have growing up. Not that he did now. But he could not complain either. "Oh... I know she can be quite convincing. Being the youngest in the family, she is quite spoiled. She never takes no for an answer." Regardlessly, Hayes adored his little sister with his whole heart, being the closest thing she had to their father.

"Well, I appreciate it either way." Hayes remarked with a nod of his head. Of course, he understood that people had physical needs, and he was certainly not an exception to that. But given how busy he had been since taking over the hospital, his own needs had become the least of his worries. Besides, it was not like he had been able to find someone who was right for him in the past. He was better off avoiding the drama that came with being in a relationship. "Yeah, I did... I think you're very cool." Hayes laughed along with them, a rather amused expression finding itself upon his features. "I'm serious, Riley. You're very cool. Based on my standards, you are." He explained with a shrug. "I know a lot of people attribute you as intelligent, which is certainly true... but that's not all you are. You are kind, and compassionate. You have a drive to be successful that I haven't seen in most people your age, and you don't let anyone get in the way of that. I guess... what I'm trying to say that there's more to you than what meets the eye. That's what makes you cool."

"No, no... it's not... it's fine. I'm not uncomfortable, just... a little taken aback, that's all." Hayes knew that it was best not to dwell on the subject, and knowing Riley, he could already tell that his reaction might have sent her into a panic. It had not been his intention, but then again, he never could have possibly predicted where this coversation had headed until it had reached this point. "Riley... that's not... what does this have anything to do with you being delusional?" He could not help but ask her, partially curious as he raised his brow. "Do you..." He had always believed that now was not the right time to do this, but what if he had been wrong? "Are you..." What if he were to take Riley's own advice, and ask them out? What was the worst thing that could happen? No, he could not do that. He could not risk jeopardizing her career, or do anything that might come off as an abuse of power. But he could at least be honest with her, right? What was the worst that could come out of that? "Well, if I shouldn't be worried, then... I guess I should be honest with you, and say that I am willing to wait, however long it takes." Why couldn't he just say it?

"Hey, it's all true. Besides, you look very cute when you blush. It's adorable." He admitted, and he had to mentally slap himself for having no trouble saying that to their face when he could not even confess that he liked them. "Now who's flattering who again?" Hayes laughed softly before he shook his head. "Daunting? Well, I can understand that. It's a lot to think about. But it's only one day a week, and you won't be doing it alone either. You'll have nursing staff, and we can hire some volunteers to help out with the administrative side of things. I can even ask if any of our doctors are willing to volunteer their time. I know that Jenny will be happy to help out, and so would I. I know I might come off as a hypocrite for saying it, but... running the clinic doesn't mean that you'll be doing everything on your own. You'll have people working under you, and honestly, I don't think I need to tell you how much fun it is to be someone's boss."

with a slight grimace at the state of the current dating pool, she can only shrug. “yeah, the bar is quite literally on the floor, but what can i say? that’s the sad reality of trying to date a lot of men these days. they don’t want you to be smarter than them, to make more money, to have your own needs. i don’t know why they even bother getting into a relationship when they know they’re never going to be satisfied… so yes, i do agree with your sister. you shouldn’t be a rarity, but you are. it’s a relief, honestly. you don’t have to sit there and listen to me whine about my feelings over an ex, yet you do. there are plenty of people out there who work for someone they can’t stand, someone who would roll their eyes at any type of complaint, and knowing that i can trust you is… i don’t know, it’s nice.” they never would’ve thought they’d be having a personal conversation with their boss — assumed that since there are so many staff, they would always be kept at a distance — but it’s already made them feel more relaxed. he may be in charge, but he clearly hasn’t let that power go to his head. “well, it certainly did that at least. i think i know better now.” she’d rather chew glass than find herself in a relationship that’s anything like her last. maybe that’s why she’s been so hesitant to enter another one these last few years; her self-esteem, while still nowhere close to where it should be, is considerably higher than it was back then. she’s no longer foolish enough to be with anybody who views her as inferior and she isn’t going to go begging for somebody to finally treat her well. “wait, you’re offering to help me study for the boards?” there’s a hint of surprise in riley’s voice that can’t be hidden. he’s already shared with her how devastatingly busy he is on a daily basis and adding another task that’s so inconsequential to his life on top of that has no real benefits for him. why on earth would he want to do that to himself?

“oh, i don’t think she would ever hate you. you’ve taken something monumental that you didn’t ask for, something that was thrust upon you, and you’re still doing all you can to turn it into something special. you’re making sure she’s not forgotten and that everything you do is done with her in your heart. how could she not be proud of you for that?” if she were in his shoes, she’s not sure she would’ve been able to handle the same type of pressure. discovering you have siblings is one thing — they aren’t their father and his actions should not reflect badly on them — but an absent parent suddenly showing up in your life to guilt you into continuing his legacy? she’s never been one for meanness or cruelty, but the urge to tell the man to go fuck himself would’ve been strong. “not exactly. in fairness, i didn’t know him, so maybe i shouldn’t be allowed to judge him so harshly, but from everything i’ve heard, both from you and a few others… let’s just say that he doesn’t seem like someone i would’ve gotten along with. i don’t know if i could’ve worked for a man like him. i probably would’ve left a long time ago.” there are a number of other hospitals out there that would be happy to take on a prospect such as riley and she would’ve taken full advantage of that fact. “i know. don’t worry, i’m not going to start dumping all of my problems onto your shoulders just because you were nice to me once — and i definitely don’t expect any more dinners, for the record.” they hadn’t even expected this one and they aren’t entirely over the shock of the invitation just yet. their day has been full of surprises around every corner, not all of them good, and they haven’t had more than a second to try and process it all.

“yeah, they’ve had it for years now. the place was refurbished just after i finished med school, so it's gotten a little fancier too.” she has many childhood memories of sitting at the counter with a milkshake for sustenance as she finished her homework for the evening. it’s a shame she doesn’t get to visit as often these days, but she does her best to drop by every now and then when she isn’t quite as busy. “oh, ouch,” they say as theatrically as possible. the teasing is deserved, but that doesn’t mean they’ll let him get away with it so easily. “i see how it is… you are so lucky there’s nothing i can throw at you right now.” although the napkins sitting atop the table are suddenly looking real tempting. “i’ve been doing it since i was small, i suppose. i’d see my mum baking all the time and like every curious child, i’d insist on trying to help so she’d let me do the easy bits at first until i was old enough to properly learn how everything worked. i wouldn’t say that makes me a professional or anything, but… i think i’m pretty good. i mostly just do it now when i’m stressed out or need a distraction.” there’s also the odd occasion where they’ll bake something for a loved one and if tonight goes well, hayes might be on the receiving end of a thank you batch of cookies soon enough. “oh, i can definitely believe that. i try my best to be a good influence on her, i swear, but she can be very convincing when she wants to be. i’m almost jealous of her liveliness.” if riley could get through the day without feeling drained right down to the bone and still have enough energy left to go out for a drink, they absolutely would, but it’s never been a part of their nature. maybe that’s why she and jenny are such good friends; they help balance each other out.

“uh… technically, i was very vague in what i was trying to say so it was entirely open to interpretation, but… whatever you’re thinking is probably right. i’m not calling you out or anything, i’d be a bit of a hypocrite if i tried to do that. i just think that there are some pretty huge differences between having family around and having a partner that can provide you with other things.” not that he would have any trouble with finding physical affection somewhere if that’s what he chose to do, but she’s beginning to realise that maybe this isn’t the smoothest topic of conversation to be having with the man who owns her place of employment. he did say they were friends and this is something that would fit with that dynamic, but the last thing she wants is to make him feel judged in any way, so it might be time to rein it in. “i’m sorry, did you say that i’m cool?” a bemused laugh slips out next and their head shakes in disbelief. “because if so, we’ve definitely gotten our wires crossed here. that is not a word that should be used to describe me at all.” intelligent would be one thing, compassionate another, but cool? never in a million years would she think that would be an apt choice.

for someone who always appears to be so composed and in control of the situation, watching as hayes begins to fumble is such a shock that they can only stare for a moment, brain freezing into a brief panic and replaying everything they’d just said back on a loop. they can’t immediately identify which specific part it was that made him flush and the uncertainty has her shifting in her seat, restlessness re-entering her body as if trying not to curl in on herself in embarrassment. this is exactly why she’d asked him not to hold her words against her. “i’m… i’m sorry, i shouldn't have said any of that. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. we’ve already established that i talk too much, so you really don't have to listen to me... like ever.” at least whatever nonsense she spouted gave him enough confidence to actually consider asking out his crush for real. if one good thing had to come from this, she’s glad it was that. “i was just kidding about my mouth, by the way. i’m not delusional, i don’t actually think that you want to…” their voice trails off and they gesture vaguely towards their mouth before cringing at their own actions and quickly dropping their hands into their lap instead. yeah, definitely not cool. “good… good, i’m glad. i think you deserve it, that’s all. you shouldn’t be worried about whether or not they’ll be into you or how it might be received by them. you’ll be fine, trust me.” they try to smile, but there’s an underlying sense of nervousness to it and for a split second, she wonders if she’s just royally messed up this newfound friendship before it’s had a real chance to begin. that would be a typical riley move.

“you really need to stop flattering me, sir. i don’t want to blush again.” why he believes in them so fiercely, they’re not sure they’ll ever understand, but they aren’t going to turn it away. they know that they’re smart, but he seems to see more of them than just their intelligence, which is a lot more than they can say for most. she’d grown used to being known merely as ‘the one with the good memory’ a long time ago. it's strange to finally be experiencing something different for once. “i probably wouldn’t be able to succeed in my career at all if the hospital i worked in wasn’t run by someone who cared so much, so… thanks for that.” now their smile is more genuine and they wonder how they could’ve gone from being at one of their lowest points to joking over dinner. “i’ll admit, it makes the idea of potentially running a whole clinic a little less daunting.”

#interactions | noah christopher hayes #thread | noah & riley #ship | noah & riley #citrusfield #death tw

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taryndream · 2 years ago

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Was browsing through some older tweets and considering finally finishing John Ostrander's Suicide Squad, I think it's deeply fascinating how Waller's character was handled in that run compared to how she's perceived in the public consciousness today.

Ostrander never really played her in any specific role other than "Waller." She was never the villain, but she was clearly not a hero. He was an expert at making her sympathetic, and making you understand the *why* of why she does what she does, but he was also good at showing that she's a very intelligent woman who knows exactly who she is in the world, what people like her go through, and what needs to be done.

Waller grew up as a confident but poor black woman in rough neighbourhoods. She grew up knowing she needing help from no one because she was strong enough to do it herself. She had multiple kids with a man she loved, two of whom died, followed by their father who was trying to get revenge. She knows loss better than most people.

Eventually, Waller secured a gov. job and rose up the ranks within months, her prowess and ruthlessness making her perfect for Task Force X. You'd think it'd stop there, right? The tough, no bullshit woman is the hard-ass leader and antagonist of the team, right? I mean, that's how she's played up now, with the added bonus of being a little too eager to kill the squad.

But just about everything she gets put through in John Ostrander's Suicide Squad says almost the exact opposite. Amanda Waller isn't some cruel, unfeeling woman willing to let people die at a moment's notice. Waller is a well of repressed emotions ready to snap, with the people around her -- Economos, Flo, Oracle, even people like Capt. Boomerang -- keeping her grounded.

When a squad member dies, or fails, and every time she has to shock them or threaten to blow their arms off, she feels it, and she hates it, but she knows that there's no other way to get some of these jobs done. Mixing this deep care for the people around her with the fact that she's a black woman in the United States government who has to deal with disgusting white men who will do anything to make her fail on a daily basis?

There's so much going on with Waller that I couldn't possibly get to here, but she's so much more interesting and complex than anything since Ostrander's original Suicide Squad had tried to portray.

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buzzdixonwriter · 5 years ago

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Not With A Boom But A Whimper

"I’ve always seen the boomers as a generational trust-fund baby: They inherited a country they had no part in building, failed to appreciate it, and seized on all the benefits while leaving nothing behind." -- Sean Illing

I think Illing’s core thesis is correct. The boomers (and I'm in that age group) tended to be societal conformists except when it came to protecting their own self interests. They supported the counter culture in the 1960s and early 70s because they didn't want to go to Vietnam, and at that time that meant supporting civil rights and feminism and gay rights because it was all one big struggle against the establishment but as soon as the threat of war ended, those allies were by and large abandoned as the focus shifted to making money. Hippies to yippies to yuppies.

Clearly "not all" boomers did this, just as "not all" cops are white supremacists, and "not all" men are rapists, but there sure is a problem in those respective cultures that needs addressing and boomers have a problem in theirs.

The good news is that while they keep recruiting more cops and breeding more males, boomers will eventually die out.

Let me go a little further on the topic of baby boomers, in particular what is meant by that term.

The broadest definition is anyone born between 1946 and 1964; '64 being the year when (a few young teen outliers excepted) the first baby boomers began marrying and starting families of their own.

While I agree all boomers were born within that 18 year period, I don't think everyone born between 1946-64 is a boomer, certainly not what I consider the core of the boomer generation.

To me, a boomer is a person --

Born between 1946-64

In a family started after WWII

By a returning vet or someone who lost family & friends

And were members of the white majority (by "white" I include Jewish American citizens, European refugees resettling in the US, and Hispanic / Latin citizens who lived in portions of the country where they were not discriminated against but accepted into the mainstream)

I include (2) because it seems to me kids born after 1946 into families with older siblings who remembered WWII had a reality check classic boomers lacked.

(4) is particularly important because these people did not see the end of WWII as a continuation of a struggle the way African-Americans, non-European refugees, and Hispanic / Latin citizens who faced discrimination did.

To white America, the end of the war was the end of the troubles, and having gone through the horror of WWII they didn't want to visit anything like it upon their children...which in and of itself is a worthy objective.

Non-white America, on the other hand, still had Jim Crow and hatred and prejudice to deal with on a daily basis, and while millions of children were born to them between 1946 and 1964, they were never spiritually part of the classic boomer generation.

The classic boomer was a white kid with a lot of toys. They were a generation raised with the implicit knowledge that they were the best people in the best country on Earth and as such entitled to all the nice things they enjoyed.

Their status was judged in no small part by their possessions, in particular name brands be they clothes or toys or cars or fast food restaurants.

As I posted elsewhere, boomers were strict conformists >until< conformity threatened to march them off into a futile jungle war in Asia. At that point (again, 1964 as the oldest boomers became eligible for the draft) they resisted the war and, in order to do so, also aligned or at least tacitly supported civil rights for African-Americans & other minorities, women's rights, and gay rights.

While each of those movements couldn't stand up to the establishment by themselves, united they could bring a lot of pressure to bear, serving as a force multiplier.

But the moment the Vietnam War ended, the boomers pretty much turned their backs on their former allies.

Hunter S. Thompson summed up boomers perfectly in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

“Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run . . . but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. . . .

”History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

“My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour wearing L. L. Bean shorts and a Butte sheepherder's jacket . . . booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turn-off to take when I got to the other end (always stalling at the toll-gate, too twisted to find neutral while I fumbled for change) . . . but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: No doubt at all about that. . . .

“There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

“And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting��on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

”So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

Look how boomers tacitly accepted segregation by fighting against "forced busing" then abandoning public schools for private "Christian academies" where non-whites were routinely excluded (until the feds stepped in an put a stop to that). Look how the ERA stalled out. Look how they let the AIDS crisis roar out of control instead of acting swiftly and compassionately.

Look how their love of money in the 1980s led to the destruction of labor unions (one of the chief reasons their childhoods were so pleasant) and the dismantling of American manufacturing just so they could save a few pennies on their plastic trinkets.

They gobbled up the pro-capitalist / anti-communist jingoism because the capitalists told them those gawdammed commies were going to take away their guns and God and make 'em share with "them" (whichever oppressed minority a particular boomer despised at the moment).

It's not that communism was better or worse, but thinking seriously about communism also meant thinking seriously about capitalism, and boomers by and large didn't want to think about anything but their toys.

Later generations learned / are learning the lessons the boomers as a whole so studiously avoided. I have a great deal of hope for this country as the millennials move into power, and as the white majority continues to decrease to the point where they will be one minority among many.

It'll be too late for the boomers, but hopefully their grandchildren will learn the true meaning of "e pluribus unum".

#baby boomers #boomers #morals #ethics #American values #Hunter S- Thompson

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notcrypticbutcoy · 6 years ago

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so I have something to prove to my brother, he doesn’t think there is a gender difference in pay (more so men get paid more than women do) so if you could be fellow feminist with me and give me proof there is a gender pay gap so i can proove his slightly misogynistic ass wrong that would be great and anybody else who’d like to add on so I can keep proving his ass wrong

(There’s more under the cut because this got super long…)

This might not be the simple answer you want, but I would be a shitty feminist if I said, “Yes! 80 pence to the pound! The workplace is sexist! End of story!” Let me equip you with some more knowledge so you can anticipate all the reasonable-sounding arguments I’m sure your brother has heard, and counter them…

The gender pay gap is usually vastly oversimplified in the media, and people sometimes fail to understand what it actually means. This means that people like your brother can point out all the flaws fairly easily and then say, “Your argument is rubbish, so there’s no gender pay imbalance. You’re talking shit.”

The often quoted “80p to the £” (or whatever the US equivalent is) isn’t wrong, but it’s talking about the median earning of a woman compared to the median earning of a man, nation-wide. It’s not saying that a woman working on the till in Starbucks earns 80p for every pound earned by the man next to her. In the UK, that’s illegal. From the gov.uk website:

“The gender pay gap is not the same as unequal pay which is paying men and women differently for performing the same (or similar) work. Unequal pay has been unlawful since 1970.”

There are lots of reasons that the gender pay gap exists:

- men are usually found in higher paid positions, thereby increasing the median salary of men. This is often because women leave their jobs or decline promotions to look after or have children, or take time out while their children are young, and find it hard to reenter the workplace. Men aren’t expected to leave work early because their kid has thrown up at school. Women are. Thus, women suffer the blows to their career, and men don’t.

- women are more likely to be unemployed or work part-time due to social conditioning dictating that women should be the primary child carer, thereby lowering the median salary for women

- there’s a heavy bias against women going into the highest paid finance/banking/law professions, so men tend to get those big, 6+ figure salaries. These sectors are known to be ruthless, and often get depicted as “you can’t hold this career down and have a family”, so women are turned off them. The publishing of the huge gender pay gaps in these sectors is, imo, a double-edged sword, because it’s one of the reasons I immediately crossed out going into finance.

- men are likely to get bigger bonuses than women - and this is more comparable than basic median salaries. Bosses argue that men get bigger bonuses because they do better work. That’s bullshit. Sometimes, sure, but sometimes women should get bigger bonuses, by that argument. (“Maybe women just aren’t as smart as men” then please explain to me why girls always outperform boys come exam season at school, and have done for years. Women are just as smart as men.)

The graph above shows the some of the big UK companies in the finance sector (sector wide women get 65p in bonus compared to £1 for men) but there are gaps in all sectors, including health and education.

This graph below is also interesting, because while it deals with only the highest paid men and women, it does make a very direct comparison between people working in the same types of jobs (middle and higher management). I’m more interested in the fact that regardless of how much men and women get as bonuses, women are significantly less likely to get one in the first place:

Those are all the major reasons I can think of off the top of my head, but feel free to add to them, anyone! The graph below shows an overview of the gender pay gap:

So, again, this isn’t a simple “women get paid less than men for the same work”, it’s a culmination of a hundred societal expectations, mostly revolving around women and their position in a family, but also things like the type of work women can “cope with”, and turns of phrase and unending comments when girls are at school that make them set their sights lower, or at least differently, to men.

There are, of course, arguments saying that we will never eliminate the gender pay gap. There’s the argument that women WANT to look after their kids and be at home for their kids when they’re needed, and, of course, if women have children they do have to take time off to do so. Understandably. I would argue that I know plenty of men, including my father, who would have liked to be at home for their kids, too, but couldn’t, because they were expected to earn the money. Also, if we can condition ourselves to do the thousands of entirely unnatural things we all do on a daily basis, we can damn well condition ourselves to let men and women share child-rearing responsibilities equally - especially as lots of them would like to, in an ideal world.

There is some truth to the idea that the gender pay gap increases as you earn more money. This is because while it’s illegal (in the UK, and I would imagine in most MEDCs) to pay men and women differently for doing exactly the same work, it’s much easier to find loopholes as you earn more. When you earn more money, your salary becomes much more complicated. If you work on a checkout till for 35 hours a week, for example, it’s pretty simple, and if the employer is paying men more than women, it’s blatantly obvious and they can’t slip through loopholes to excuse it.

At the other end of the spectrum, if you’re a manager, or a lawyer, or even a consultant (that’s basically the highest qualification for a doctor in the UK, I don’t know what the equivalent is in the US) you have bonuses - either in money or in shares or something else - and your hours are going to be less regular, and you’ll have subtler differences in the work you’re doing, and it’s very, very easy for companies to pay men more than women without being blatantly sexist. They can string together excuses and reasons that are really rather difficult to untangle and expose.

So yes. The gender pay gap definitely exists. It’s just incredibly complex, and often so painfully oversimplified that it’s all too easy for people to scoff and go, “Right. And I’m the Queen of England. Next.”

I hope this helped!

#asks #feminism #gender pay gap #not shadowhunters #politics

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wowiejimin · 7 years ago

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Safe - Chapter 2

I would like to say thank you for all the love and support so far! I was really surprised with the outcome from this fic, it really really made my day :’) Enjoy this new chapter~

I’ve also made a hashtag thinking maybe it’ll be easier for you guys to find the fic! the hashtag will be under “wowiejimin safe fic” :)

Pairing: Gang Member!Jimin x Poor Heart!Genius!Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance, Lots of Action, Humor, Fluff, & Smut (In the Future)

Length: 5.0K

Warnings: Swearing, Blood, Death, Smut (In the Future), Blood

Members Included: All of BTS, other KPop groups in the future

Previous Chapter Chapter List Next Chapter

In his world, being a part of a mafia gang, known as Bangtan Boys, is a bit terrifying. They were truly a filthy rich and powerful group that everyone feared. 22-year old Jimin was described as the stealthiest and most skilled member of Bangtan, playing an important part in their group. Whereas for 20-year-old (Y/N), a genius with a weak heart is suffering inside the cruel world as she is experimented on on the daily basis. Jimin finds himself protecting a gifted girl whose memory can hold numerous things in a blink of an eye. Jimin finds an interest in her, visioning that she may be a valuable asset to their group. Jimin has never paid attention to girls. However, that started to change when he met her.

The sound of rough punching and pants were heard across the whole gym room. Jimin heaved a breath before continuing to punch the bag of sand that hung from the high ceiling.

Everyone knew that Park Jimin was known for his heartless and brutal ways of killing. Hell, he sometimes brawls for his own pleasure. Most people like to think that he prefers to use his bare hands rather than weapons. But he is also known for his manipulative tricks; tricking their targets into something they regret doing when crossing Bangtan.

For as long as Jimin could remember, he was widely known as Seoul's strongest man. Jimin is excellent in all aspects when it came to combat and weaponry; to a point that everyone says he is the best at it. It is also said that the man was as valuable as an entire brigade, far outweighing any other member of any gang. Namjoon has even said that he was considered extremely strong before joining Bangtan. He has an alarming amount of physical strength, showing evidence for this mastery of both combat and weaponry. Despite his small stature, his body was built with heavy muscle, making him strong and being able to defeat his opponents easily. As far as Jimin knows, he hasn't lost a fight in either combat or weaponry. However, this does not stop him from getting injured, though.

Jimin heard the door open as he looked at the person who came in from the corner of his eye. It was Taehyung. The silver-haired boy practically skipped towards the older boy, (only by a few months) throwing him a water bottle. "Here ya go!" He gleamed. Jimin caught it with ease without looking, taking off the cap. Jimin gave out little noises of content as the cold liquid ran down his throat, satisfying him.

"Are you going to go out for your usual jogs?" Taehyung asked. Jimin nodded, "Of course." He said, placing the water bottle down. Taehyung pouted, "But it's almost dinner. Jin hyung is making steak tonight." He says as Jimin gave out a little chuckle, "It's fine; I'll just eat the leftovers, no worries." Jimin says before slipping on an old black hoodie.

Taehyung hummed before getting up from where he was, seeing that the sun has just started to set. "You better be careful out there. It's getting dark." Taehyung mumbled as Jimin nodded his head, "Yeah I know." Jimin responded, unplugging his charged phone before tucking it into his joggers. Jimin started to walk out of gym room with Taehyung following.

"Where's everyone else?" Jimin asked as Taehyung folded his arms across his chest, "Jungkook is with Namjoon hyung and Yoongi hyung. I heard that they're raiding a laboratory right now, stealing all the drugs while they’re out doing some business." Taehyung says as Jimin quirked an eyebrow, "Drugs? We don't use drugs." Jimin says as Taehyung shrugged, "They're for another gang. I guess they're too fucking pussy to do it themselves so they turned to us for help." Jimin chuckled at Taehyung before stopping in the foyer.

"I also hear that they hold test subjects in there, testing out their drugs to really see if they work. Some say they even use them as scrappers in underground fights or for gambling since the drugs do some type of witchery to make them more focused or mind read." Taehyung shivered as Jimin furrowed his eyebrows, "I don't think it'll make them mind read, Tae." Jimin chuckled, putting his rather expensive running shoes on.

"Alright, I'll be back within 30 minutes," Jimin says as he pulled his hoodie over his head. Jimin look over at Taehyung, watching his tail whoosh behind him.

Taehyung was a wolf hybrid that Namjoon took in after rescuing him from a rival gang. And in exchange for saving his life, he became a loyal member of Bangtan since. Taehyung played an important part in Bangtan as he was the tracker. His amazing senses helped them track down enemies and take them down. Not only that, but his incredible strength has helped them through missions.

Taehyung nodded before turning away, "If you're not back within 30 minutes, I'm telling Jin hyung~!" Taehyung chimed before entering the living room. Jimin rolled his eyes, opening the door, "I'm leaving." Jimin closed the door, locking it with the spare key hidden in the plant next to the double doors. Jimin huffed before putting back the spare key in the dirt before jogging out of their property.

~/~

“For the last time, give me the numbers.” He yelled, slamming down the pen down on the desk. The man behind her pushed her slightly, urging her to obey. (Y/N) clenched her teeth and stood there. The leader of the group, the Void named Jongwoo, sighed as he crumpled the paper up, “You’re a brave girl, a clever one too. But do you know how we knew who you were and where you’re going to be?” He asked and she nodded, “Someone told you.” She responded as he smirked slightly, “That’s right. Can you guess who?” He asked and nodded at his men, “Let him in!”

A man walked in through the door, causing (Y/N) to quietly gasp. It was her doctor. “It was him! The one who told you helped you through your heart problem up until now. He’s been working with us on this mission.” Jongwoo before the doctor smiled at (Y/N).

(Y/N) fluently speaks 18 languages, learning each language under 15 minutes. The doctor crouched slightly down to her height, deciding to speak to her in Japanese, refraining from the men from knowing what they were saying, “(Y/N), I tell these men what they want to know and they pay me lots and lots of money. Do the same and they will help you too.” He tells her as (Y/N) furrowed her brows, “You’re a stupid man.” She spat.

“You don’t understand business. You gave them what they want and now they will kill you.” (Y/N) told him and one of the men grabbed her shoulder, “Hey! Speak Korean.” He demanded. The doctor smile nervously, “S-She won’t tell me anything—“Before the doctor could finish, he was cut off by a gunshot to his head. (Y/N) gasped slightly, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, trying to keep it in.

“Our leader is a patient man, I’m not.” The man that shot the doctor growled, pressing the gun to her cheek. “Tell him what he wants to know.” He says and suddenly loud bang was heard on the door.

“It’s the Ravens~” Someone yelled outside the door. (Y/N) recognized it to be another gang, already knowing that they’re after her too. “What the fuck.” The leader growled as his men pointed their guns at the door. “Bring the girl out and no one gets hurt.” The leader of the Ravens promised. With all the men distracted, (Y/N) quietly left the room, quickly walking into the washroom, locking the door behind her.

“Open the door or it’ll be war!” The leader of the Ravens, Penzo, grew impatient. Jongwoo scoffed, “You come in here and we’ll shoot you all to the ground!” He threatened.

From outside the building, multiple black vans crowded around.

Penzo sighed, seeing that he was receiving a call from Banjo. “We found them; however, they don’t want to cooperate,” Penzo tells Banjo.

Banjo sighed in frustration, fearing the thought of what would happen if Mr. Han found out. “We made a deal.” Banjo growled as Penzo rolled his eyes, “Yup, we the girl, bring her back to you, and we get $50,000. Although…” Penzo looked around before smirking, “The Whisperers did offer me a higher price if I gave them your kid.” Banjo bit his lip.

He knew this was coming. The leader of the Whisperers, Quan, offered Penzo $100,000. Banjo sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Fine. $200,000. Final offer.”

Penzo smirked even more, “Deal.”

Jongwoo looked back at (Y/N), only to find her missing. He gritted his teeth, grabbing one of his men, “Get her back in her!” He yelled as one of his men hurriedly went to the other room. He attempted to open the washroom door, only to find it locked. He furrowed his brows before kicking the door down, seeing that the window was wide open. He widens his eyes before looking out the window, seeing that (Y/N) has already made her way down the street.

The man came back into the room, telling his leader about (Y/N)’s escape. Jongwoo sighed before opening the door, meeting face to face to Penzo.

Penzo looked at Jongwoo with a smirk, “Hey, I made a deal with Banjo, the girl’s dad or whatever. If I bring her back to him, I get $200,000. So, because I like you, I’ll like to share the money I make after I hand him the girl. How’s that?” Penzo offered as Jongwoo rolled his eyes.

“Bullshit.” Jongwoo says before sighing, “But I have to tell you something before you come in.” He says. Penzo titled his head, “What?”

“She’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?

“She escaped, you fucking idiot.”

“Oh. But I don’t get it. Why is everyone after her? What does she have?”

“I don’t know, Penzo, but all I know is that it leads more than just $200,000.”

~/~

“Korean girl, 5’0, wavy hair, 20-years-old. MOVE!” Penzo yelled at his men as they all took off with their black vehicles. The Void, however, ran around Seoul to find (Y/N), knowing she’s near and won’t be needing a vehicle to find her.

After finding out that (Y/N) is more than just $200,000, Penzo called off the deal with Banjo and the Whisperers, deciding to capture (Y/N) for himself. And now, there were four gangs going after (Y/N), the Void, the Ravens, the Whisperers, and Banjo.

(Y/N) quickly walked down the street, heading for the subway. The sun started to set, causing (Y/N) to panic, knowing that she didn’t know the streets of Seoul very well. She was quick on her feet like she was in the boxing ring.

“She’s heading for the subway!” The members of the Void yell, seeing her small figure from afar.

~/~

Banjo clenched his jaw, entering Mr. Han’s office, head hanging low, “I lost her. They got her.” He mumbled. Mr. Han fumed in anger, looking at Banjo. “Is that so…” He gritted his teeth before slamming his hand on his desk.

“Look at you, Banjo! You lost the one thing I asked for you to watch over, and now your lab is being raided by one of the strongest gangs in South Korea!” He yelled. Banjo furrowed his brows and looked at the older man, “I watched over the kid for fucking 10 years! How much time did you need? The kid is an adult now, she for sure knows where she’s going, probably finding her way back to us.” Banjo says, trying to convince him.

Mr. Han scoffed, “Oh really? Finding her way back to us? To you? Give me a break, you tortured the girl, making her gamble and fight in those stupid underground matches for money! Other than that, you used your fucking drugs on her! For 10 fucking years! There’s no way she’s going to be coming back to us, not after all that shit you did to her!” He barked.

Banjo sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I needed to know if those drugs worked and I was in debt, and I needed the money. And now, my lab is getting fucking raided by Bangtan.” He says as Mr. Han sent him an eye roll. “Yeah, well, those drugs did nothing but worsen her weak fucking heart! I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s dead by now.” Mr. Han sighed as Banjo shook his head, “No, we’ll get her. I know we will.”

“Well, if they get her before we do, your head will be gone in an instant.” Mr. Han threated.

~/~

After 20 minutes of jogging, Jimin found himself jogging through the subway station. He sighed, pulling out his phone, “How do I get out of here again?” Jimin asked quietly to himself, walking further into the station.

He looked up through his hood, noticing a young woman, probably a bit younger than he was, maybe Jungkook’s age, walking around the station with fright written all over her face. Jimin tilted his head and watched. The young woman looked back, meeting eye contact with Jimin’s before turning away, walking away quickly.

Out of curiosity, Jimin started to follow her, thinking maybe she was lost. It was until four men entered the station as well, looking as if they were trying to find something. Trying to find someone. Jimin looked closer at the men, recognizing them as members from the Void. Jimin widens his eyes before one of the members growled, “I know she went this day.” He says before they all walk further down the station.

Jimin smirked, “Oh shit, not them again.” Jimin mumbled.

Jimin remembered the last time he interacted with them. He was with the rest of his members, meeting up with the Void to make a deal. But that went out of plan as usual but nonetheless, Bangtan pulled through successfully, killing those who came to the deal. And ever since that day, the Void knew to never interact with Bangtan again.

Jimin’s smirk then disappeared when he noticed that the girl from earlier was hiding behind a pole, peeking behind to see if the men passed by. Is she hiding from them? Jimin thought.

The train finally came to a stop as the doors opened. Jimin watched attentively as the young woman walked in. Jimin then watched the four men walk into the train as well from a different cart. “Maybe she went in here.” One of them says as Jimin see the young woman panic from seeing the men enter the train.

“Oh fuck no,” Jimin grumbled.

(Y/N) stood inside the train, seeing that the men have entered the train as well. (Y/N) thought quickly before running down the carts of the train. The doors closed, stopping Jimin from entering. The train started to move quickly as Jimin followed along, cursing quietly.

Jimin looked inside the train, seeing that the girl started to move towards the front of the train. Jimin was running now, waiting for the end of the train to appear. Once the end of the train appeared, Jimin grabbed onto the railing that held onto the side of the train. Jimin grunted, sliding onto the platform, attempting to open the back door, only to find it locked.

(Y/N) panicked, running down the train carts with the four men slowly trailing behind her.

Jimin cursed under his breath, "Fuck." Jimin muttered and looked up, beginning to climb on top of the train. As he got on top, he carefully ran down, trying not to fall off. He looked up to see that the train was about to enter a tunnel. He ran quickly into a gap between two train carts, ripping the door open. Jimin found himself the four men, quickly, following.

(Y/N) practically ran, looking back every now and then. She knew the number of train carts were coming to an end soon and had to think fast. There was no other way to escape unless she ran out as soon as the train is at the next stop. The men quickly followed with Jimin trailing behind. (Y/N) then came to a stop, seeing that there was nowhere to go. She was cornered.

She whimpered, turning around to see that the four men have already found her. Jimin clenched his jaw, stepping forward before the men could enter the cart she was in.

Jimin then grabbed one of their shoulders, turning him around. Jimin headbutted him, knocking him out almost instantly. The other men noticed and quickly told one of them to get (Y/N). Another man came up to Jimin, swinging a fast. Jimin quickly caught his fist with ease before kicking his crotch. The man yelled in pain, crouching down as Jimin swung his foot, hitting the side of his face roughly, Another man came at Jimin, who kicked his chest, making him stumble back into the fourth man's chest. Jimin quickly punched both sides of his face hard, knocking him out. Then the man who got hit in the crotch got up, grabbing Jimin into a headlock. Jimin grunted, elbowing his crotch once again, allowing him to break free and elbowed his face before swinging his fist to the man's throat. The man fell to the ground as the last man standing pulled a handgun out.

Jimin growled and quickly grabbed their wrist, twisting it. He groaned in pain as Jimin forcefully dragged him down to the seats and pulled his arm from behind his back, twisting it even more. "Argh!" The man howled in pain. Jimin let go and pushed him down to the ground, taking a look at his face.

"Nice beating your ass once again, Kaze." Jimin panted, recognizing the man as Jongwoo's right-hand man. Jimin grabbed the gun, pointing it at his face. Kaze widen his eyes, "J-Jimin?" He says in disbelief.

(Y/N) watched as Jimin pointed the gun at Kaze. She panted slightly from all the running as she recognized the mysterious man's face, "Bangtan." She whispered to herself.

"You know damn well that we told you to get out of this part of the city. But it looks like you disobeyed." Jimin growled and before Kaze could protest, Jimin pulled the trigger, killing him. Screams were heard on the train as the people around immediately stood at the doors, wanting to get out. Jimin then shot at the three other men before slipping the gun into his waistband.

Jimin huffed and slowly walked into the cart (Y/N) was in. Everyone backed away from Jimin as the train came stopped at the next station. Jimin looked at her as he breathed heavily, catching his breath. "You okay?" He asked and (Y/N) stared him, watching his every move. People immediately ran out as soon as the doors opened, and so did (Y/N). Jimin cursed and ran out of the train as well.

(Y/N) walked down the street, hoping she lost him. She looked up at the sky, meeting with the night sky. She huffed as she looked around. Suddenly, she was pulled back to see a member of the Ravens, "Woah! Easy there. There's nothing to worry about," The man paused as he sent her a smile, "What's your name, hun?" He asked, opening the door to his car, "We'll take good care of you."

Before (Y/N) can enter the vehicle, Jimin came in and kicked the man's shin and pushed him down onto the car, using all his strength as he punched him in the throat, knocking his windpipes out.

(Y/N) widens her eyes before quietly getting out of the car, getting away.

Jimin watched the man's body go limp before noticing (Y/N)'s retreating form. Jimin grabbed her wrist gently, "Hey, hey... I'm not going to hurt you." He says as vans pull up nearby. A man came out and started to shoot in their direction. Jimin sighed and pushed (Y/N) to the passenger seat, quickly making his way over to the driver's seat.

"What the hell did you do, kid?!" Jimin asked as gunshots cracked the back windshield of the car as Jimin turned on the car and drove reverse, knocking a few men over before driving forward, running over a few more men.

Jimin drove as fast as he could, "You know, those men are bad. Pretty obvious but wanna tell me why they're after you?" He asked (Y/N), looking at her. (Y/N) looked back at him as gunshots were still heard. Jimin quirked an eyebrow, "You understand me, right? Do you speak Korean?" Jimin asked, confused whether or not if she understood him or not.

~/~

"What do you mean she got away?" Penzo growled through the phone. "Someone else took her. Not the Void or Banjo. He killed a couple of people, almost killing more too. I didn't grasp to see what he looked like." A loyal member of Penzo's gang answered him. Penzo sighed, "Then kill him. Get the girl alive. If you can't, then kill her too."

~/~

Jimin took a sharp right but the Ravens quickly followed. Jimin then took a sharp left as (Y/N) held tight to the armrest, "A-Are you crazy?! You're in the wrong lane!" (Y/N) cried as the cars passed them. Jimin looked at her before a bus came to view. Jimin then pressed onto the gas, driving fast enough to dodge it.

The Ravens behind them, however, crash into the bus. Another vehicle whom Jimin recognized as the Void drove by the bumper. Jimin cursed, "Fuck, alright, listen to me." Jimin looked at the girl, "You're going to do what I have to say, alright?" Jimin says before turning into a tight alleyway. Jimin quickly got out, taking (Y/N) into a hidden spot behind a few boxes.

The Ravens stopped their car, getting out, "Where the hell did they go?!" They yelled as Jimin started to shoot at them, getting their attention. Jimin came close and shot one of them, using him as a shield as the other men attempted to shoot at Jimin, only to continue to shoot at their fallen member. Jimin threw the body off of him as a man came up behind him. Jimin quickly elbowed them face as the other man swung a fist. Jimin blocked his punch as he grabbed the man by the nape of his neck and shoved their face into the car numerous times till Jimin heard the crack from his nose gushes of blood oozing out. Jimin then brought the gun up, shooting both of the men.

Jimin breathed heavily, walking over to where (Y/N) was, "You okay?" He asked and she looked up at him, nodding gently. "Let's go." He says softly, bringing a hand to her shoulder, guiding her.

~/~

Jimin guessed that since no one was able to recognize his identity, besides the ones he killed, the girl wouldn't be able to get tracked down unless she had a source of

(Y/N) didn't know exactly why she stood by the man who saved her. But she felt like she could trust him, especially how ruthless he acted when fighting those men in order to save her life.

The young woman noticed that they made their way to a luxurious looking building. As if Jimin could read her mind, Jimin smirked slightly, "This is our HQ, if you're wondering." Jimin says as they entered the building, bodyguards holding the door for them. The two made their way to what seemed like Jimin's office, located on the sixth floor.

"This is a nice place." She mumbled to herself as Jimin closed his office door, making his way towards the windows, drawing the curtains closed as well. Jimin motioned for her to sit on the couch, which she did.

Jimin sighed before taking a seat next to her, a foot apart from each other. He faced her with a serious yet gentle look before ending out his name, "The names Jimin, Park Jimin." He introduced. (Y/N) slowly shook his hand, her hand smaller than his by a bit (omg what impossible).

"(Y/N)." She smiled awkwardly. Jimin looked sighed, "Are you in a gang, (Y/N)?" He asked. (Y/N) shrugged, "N-No, not really. I would have to say that I was just involved in a lot of things." She says quietly, looking down. "What are you involved in? What are you doing with those type of people?" He asked, wanting to know more.

(Y/N) gulped before letting out a shaky breath, "T-To count..." She says nervously as Jimin quirked an eyebrow, "Are you sure about that?" He asked as the girl sighed, "I played a part in a lot of things... Bad things." She frowned, avoiding eye contact with Jimin. "Did you want to do those things?" He asked and she quickly shook her head, "I never wanted to... I was just... forced to do them." She says quietly.

Jimin inhaled deeply, "Who are these people that you were involved with?" He asked. Jimin didn't know why he was trying to help her. Maybe because she reminded him of himself when he was younger. He really didn't know why, but he knew that something about her is important if so many people are after her.

"Mr. Han and Hwang Banjo." She muttered, "Do you know them?" She asked as he nodded lightly. "I've heard of them." Jimin says before widening his before sitting up straight, “Wait... Banjo... Doesn’t he own that lab? With the drugs?” He questioned, remembering what Taehyung has told him. If what Taehyung has said was true, then (Y/N) must’ve been—

(Y/N) looked down at her hands. "I was abducted at a young age." She confessed, "I knew they wanted to use me as a source of money, but now I'm not so sure." (Y/N) referred to all the times she's been punished and experimented on, clearly not relevant in using her intelligence. "What did they do to you?" Jimin asked quietly, already having an idea of what they did. Jimin noticing her upset and quiet state, so he settled back down onto the couch, showing her not to be afraid of him.

She hitched in a breath before sighing, "I was taken to Banjo's lab. And ever since he took me in as a test subject," She paused, clasping her hands tight, "H-He's been injecting his drugs into me... experimenting and so much more..." She trailed off, feeling her lip quiver, "experimenting led to fighting as a scrapper, to gambling, to punishment." She says and looked up at him before looking back down. Jimin gulped, understanding what she was going through.

(Y/N) lifted her hair up, revealing a nasty scar on her neck. Jimin guessed that that is where the drugs were injected, right on her neck. Jimin sighed, nodding understandingly, avoiding the nasty scar. He was dark and quite large. It seemed as though that Banjo must’ve injected the drugs in the same place numerous types. He winced slightly at the sight, knowing that it must’ve hurt really bad, especially by the size of the needle.

"So, let me get this straight," Jimin says, getting her attention.

"You were abducted as a child because...?"

"I'm gifted."

Jimin raised his brows, "Meaning like--" (Y/N) looked at Jimin, "I soak up information like sponges and can solve any logical problem within seconds. I was known to have way more advanced intellectual skills than anyone else in my hometown." She mumbled. Jimin nodded, understanding where she was coming from. Almost like Namjoon hyung. He thought.

So, if she was seen as a human computer to others, she must be a fucking genius, He thought about it for a moment. "This Mr. Banjo and Han guy," Jimin started. (Y/N) smiled a bit, "Mr. Han and Banjo?" She corrected with a light laugh. Jimin gave out a little grin. "What did they make you do to have all these people come after you?" He questioned.

(Y/N) clenched her jaw, debating whether or not she should tell him. (Y/N) sighed, "Mr. Han made me memorise this very long number. I was supposed to go to someplace to get the second set of numbers and more instructions but the Void members came in and shot everyone." She explained. Jimin looked at her with a blank face, "Then the Ravens came and that was when I ran away. And then I met you." She looked up at him through her long and thick eyelashes. Jimin gritted his teeth at the sound of the Ravens getting involved. A truly idiotic gang is what Jimin thought when it came to the Ravens, "And now, I hear that the Whisperers are trying to get involved as well, trying to get their hands on me." She says as Jimi hummed, "Do you want to go back to this Mr. Han guy?" He asked and she immediately shook her head.

"No, never. I'll just be put back into that dark cell, back with the experiments and stuff." She shivered, "And I-I caused too much trouble. I'm sure I'll be punished for escaping. He might even kill me after I finish this task." She says quietly.

Jimin thought about what was happening with (Y/N). If she had to memorise this long ass number, making all these gangs try to take her, then this number is important, He thought.

"What's this number?" Jimin asked with a rough voice, surprising (Y/N), "It's really long..." She says as Jimin sat closer to her, "How do you know this is just and not just separate numbers? Is there anything interesting about these numbers?" Jimin asked, having an idea where this was going.

"A few of them," She answered, "They either have a 2 or a 7 before them." She paused, thinking for a bit, "All the numbers are random but five of them have a 7 before and eight of them have a 2 before them. That's too many times to be random." (Y/N) looked at Jimin, who stared deeply into her eyes.

(Y/N) gulped, "Once I memorised the number, I started to think it was a--"

"A code." Jimin finished for her. (Y/N) nodded slowly, "Yeah, a code." She says quietly. Jimin started to lean forward slowly, making her flustered a bit. "So the ones that are interesting are happening too many times to be random, hm?" He asked quietly, a few inches from her face, "M-Mhm..." (Y/N) hummed nervously, "They're not numbers, they're words." She says quietly.

"It's a combination, for a safe."

And that is chapter 2!!! once again, thank you so so much for the love and support :) i love you allllll ~~

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lovingmyselfishard · 7 years ago

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TERFS and SWERFS are not Feminists

I just got into it with someone on my FB a day or so ago over this statement. She accused me of “No True Scotsman”-ing.

I tried to explain to her why I wasn’t and what I meant by that statement.

If the tenets of your feminism are to actively cause harm to other women, you are not, in fact, a feminist. (Yes, white feminism is full of fuck ups, but this is not the post where I go off on us not having learned any better in two fucking centuries, fellow white person feminists pull your fucking heads out. I’ll get there later.)

Anyone can call themselves a feminist, and I can’t stop you. I am not, in spite of what a bunch of gamer dudes and male comics fans seem to think, the word police. I cannot take away your birthday or Christmas for grossly abusing words.

What I can do is lay out that if your feminism actively seeks to harm other women, it is not feminism.

If your feminism relies on gender essentialism and makes you ally with people who seek to abrogate women’s rights in the name of fucking over other women, it is not feminism.

Trans Women are women.

(Female-identified) Sex workers are women.

But, LovingMyselfIsHard, you don’t like fundamentalists or Quiverfull ladies, isn’t this the same thing?

No, because while I do not agree with the choices of women who decide to belong to the Quiverfull movement or fundamentalist churches, they made those choices, probably under varying degrees of duress, but that is also not my decision to make for them. When they ask for help, I will help them, if they want to live like that, I will let them be.

Because feminism is about supporting other women in their choices and giving women the power to survive and thrive, and be treated as the equals to men.

The difference between me and TERFS and SWERFS is that I would never push to pass laws telling women who they are, how they must identify, what they must do, and if they even qualify as women.

That last part is so much bullshit.

Trans Women are women, and if you do not agree, f you support people who purposely out Trans girls and women, leading to harm and abuse, if you advocate jailing sex workers for their own good or cutting off their means of supporting themselves because you find it icky, GTFO.

You heard. You and I, we got nothing to talk about.

Once a year I post on my FB, “If you hold beliefs that prevent you from treating other human beings as human beings, see yourself out. We have nothing to talk about.”

I don’t care what “phobia” or -ism you’ve got that you think forces you to be an asshole to people who are just trying to live their lives, I don’t want it. I don’t want to have to defend my friends from your bigotry.

That goes double for “religious” beliefs or what the fuck ever.

I’m gonna leave the argument on TERFS with Trans Women are women, and if you’re too bigoted or blinded by the patriarchy to see that, you aren’t a fucking feminist.

Now, onto SWERFS.

“But sex work is a choice.”

Yes, it is. It is a valid choice. I don’t care what the laws say, or your screwed up morality thinks, sex work is work. It is work to put out for someone you may not like or be attracted to. It is work to promote yourself, and figure out how to do it in ways that won’t get your ass arrested. And it is only more dangerous than most other types of work by virtue of the fact that they can’t call the cops or report a creeper to HR.

Even the legal types of sex work come with these risks because of assholes like you who think you can’t rape a whore, or that strippers and cam girls are asking for it.

IF you feel this way, GTFO. We have nothing more to say to each other.

If your argument boils down to “It’s demeaning,” you have obviously never worked service industry or in an office in a support position. Which, by the way, is no guarantee that you can get help when you’re being abused or sexually harassed. Let me tell you about the 8 years I spent working for a psychopath who yelled at me and made cry just about every day. The sexual harassment from him and his cronies. And it was art the height of the recession, so I’d make it to second and third rounds of interviews to be told I either had to accept a level of pay that would not support me and my husband or stick with my shitty, but relatively well-paying job with great benefits.

I mean, I had good benefits, so at least the anti-anxiety meds I took almost daily to deal with that asshole were covered, right?

Yeah, well, until Obamacare, Sex Workers didn’t get health insurance.

Any job can be demeaning. In retail or service industry you are dealing with increasing numbers of entitled assholes who never worked those jobs and do not get how awful they can be when people treat you like furniture. In office jobs, particularly as women, we’re often slighted, asked to do emotional labor for the dudes in the office, other people take credit for our ideas and work, ignore us in meetings, and relegate the “housework” like taking care of the coffee and shit to us, because female-identified.

I have a friend who is a sex worker, and she’s told me that she felt a million times more humiliated on a daily basis when she worked in offices, than she does as a sex worker.

And I completely understand that.

So let me reiterate for those of you at the back of the room.

If your feminism is predicated on attacking, harming, or infantilizing other women, you are not a feminist.

Trans Women are Women.

Sex Work is Work.

And you’re an asshole.

We good?

Edited to add: I also support non-binary folks, and genderqueer folks, and if you don’t like that, there are so many offs you can fuck.

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assholemurphy · 7 years ago

Text

Hide and Seek : Chapter 1

Also on AO3

IT (2017)

Bill/Richie

Summary: Richie is a single father doing whatever it takes to raise his daughter, but as a high school drop out and foster care runaway, there's not much he can get in way of legal jobs, so he turns to criminal activities to provide for his little girl, by way of working for a man called Pennywise, who doesn't take kindly to finding out that Richie has been compiling enough evidence on his organization to take them all down. So, he comes after him, putting Richie and his daughter Alexia in danger.

Bill is a kindergarten teacher who just wants to make it through the school year without having to deal with Richie's bullshit, but that doesn't work out quite as planned, as the loudly dressed maniac manages to drag him down into the criminal underbelly of the city, leaving him with no choice but to flee with Richie and his daughter. All he wants is a break, but the hits keep coming, and fuck, how the hell does Richie expect him not to fall for him when the way he acts around his kid literally makes Bill's heart melt? But Richie is a complete mess. An attractive mess.

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3921

Warnings: Violence

Character Info:

Richie’s father died when he was seven, leaving his mother to care for him, which didn’t work out well as she blamed Richie for his death, because Richie was the one who demanded chocolate ice cream that night, and his father died getting in a wreck at the stop light because he was out at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was an accident, but she blamed him, and spent the next few years torturing him because of it. Finally, someone notices when he’s ten years old and he gets ‘rescued’ and thrown into the system, where he spends his time bouncing around to different homes until he runs away at fifteen. Richie was 17 when Alexia was born. He is now 24.

Bill’s father left them after Georgie was born, leaving his mother to raise two children alone, and with no job or skills beyond high school, and the bad reputation that a divorce from a man as powerful as him gave her, she could find little work, and did as best she could, resorting to a lot of under the table dealing and men that Bill wasn’t supposed to find out about. Georgie is alive, and Bill’s been protecting him his whole life, until Georgie went to college, that’s when Bill took off to the farthest place he could think to go to get rid of the reputation of being ‘one of those Denbrough woman’s kids, poor thing.’ Bill is now 25.

Chapter 1:

Bill would love to say that it was unusual for a child to be sitting in his classroom after 4pm, he’d really love to, and he supposed it was true for most children, but this one seemed to be a special case. At least once a week her father was late to pick her up, so he’d come to expect it on occasion. Mr. Tozier didn’t seem to have much of an internal clock, either that, or he just assumed Bill didn’t have anything better to do than look after his five-year-old for the afternoon while he was out doing god knew what.

No, really, he was pretty sure the only one who knew what Richie fucking Tozier did for a living was him and him alone, even Alexia didn’t seem to know anything about what her dad did. Not that Bill had asked her, he wasn’t about to start interrogating children just because their parents we a little bit – okay, quite a bit – shady. None of the other staff at the school knew anything about him, well anything beyond that fact that he was obviously colorblind and paid the school’s tuition in cash, which was odd in and of itself, but the school wasn’t about to turn down anyone’s money, not with how badly the public schools were doing in this day and age.

So, nobody knew anything about him, which had only made Bill more curious about him. So, he loved a good mystery, sue him, and it didn’t hurt that Richie was an attractive mystery, if one could get past the godawful combination of clothing he wore on a daily basis. Surely, whatever he was doing couldn’t be too bad, no employer in their right mind would let someone dress like that if they were supposed to be looking inconspicuous. So, Bill had let it go for the most part.

But still, Richie was late a lot, and on occasion he didn’t look to be in the best of shape when he finally got around to coming to pick up his kid. He would sometimes show up with his face bruised up or his clothing torn, looking like someone had tried to kill him, which, at first, Bill had believed they had, but after a few times, it looked like whoever was trying to take his life wasn’t very good at it, so he’d also let that go. Again, for the most part.

He sighed and looked up from his book and over at Alexia who was playing with the blocks in the corner of his classroom, at peace and completely unaware of exactly how late her father really was. Not that it mattered, honestly, Bill didn’t have much of a life outside of his work, preferring to stay at home and spend his time writing than to go out with the rest of the teachers and make friends. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, most of them were kind enough, but they came from different backgrounds than he did, and he just couldn’t get past how for granted they took everything.

That was part of why he had so much sympathy for Alexia, and Richie, too, he supposed. He knew what it was like to have to work for what you wanted, to keep your family safe and secure, which is why he hadn’t reported the tardiness to anyone else, knowing that that kind of neglect could get them not only kicked out from the school, but it might very well warrant a visit from Child Protective Services, and if he was honest, he didn’t want to do that to the man.

If the circumstances were different, then he would have wasted no time in doing so, but Alexia was never hurt, always clean and happy, and seemed to be unaware of how sketchy her father seemed under the scrutiny of Bill Denbrough’s eye.

He looked up as the door to his classroom opened. He put his book down with a small, resigned sigh, and said, “Mr. Tozier. Nice of you to join us.”

“Sorry, I’m late. I know. I just got caught up at the, uh, the office, and lost track of time,” Richie gave him a sheepish smile as he made his way over to Alexia, who had finally stopped playing with the toys long enough to realize it was her father at the door.

“Daddy! Daddy, we’re learning to read! Mr. Denbrough showed us how to sound out words. Look,” she pointed towards the row of days of the week stuck along the wall closest to her, “That one is Friday, that’s today!”

“Yeah, it is. Great job!” He told her as he reached down to pick her up. “Come here, bug.”

Alexia giggled as he swung her into the air and pulled her against his chest. Bill watched them, a soft smile on his lips before he noticed the bruising along the side of Richie’s neck. His smile turned into a frown of concern.

He cleared his throat, “Rough day at the uh, office?” He asked, raising his eyebrows with a pointed look to at the collection of bruises.

Richie looked back at him, and for a second his face was almost panicked before he shrugged and laughed, a little nervously, “Yeah, they’ll kill you if you don’t make your quota by the end of the week. I was a couple shy.”

It was said like a joke, but Bill believed it more than he had anything else Richie had ever told him. “Well, take care to manage your sales better next week, then. Wouldn’t want Alexia to miss you if they succeed next time.”

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, giving him a weird look. “Look, I’m sorry I was late-”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind watching her. She’s a good kid. Besides, it’s something I’ve come to expect from you.” Bill didn’t mean it to be as rude as it sounded, but he didn’t take the words back. It was expected, and he had no problem telling Richie so.

“I’ll be on time, next time. I promise,” Richie told him. The smile was back on his face, but Bill could tell it was forced. He knew very little about Richie from their interactions, most of them polite, so he had no choice but to take him at his word.

“You do that,” Bill said as he gathered his things into his messenger bag. He watched as they left, wondering how Richie could stand to dress as he did. If he wanted to be respected by the other parents, he should at least dress like them. Combat boots and black and white checkered pants we not the way to do that.

Richie’s panicked face stuck with him all through the next week, however, and the next time Richie was late – Wednesday, this time – he decided he was going to ask a couple of the questions he’d been dying to know the answers to. And if he didn’t like the answers he received, well, he had the number to CPS scribbled in the front cover of his book, just so he wouldn’t forget it.

Because really, someone with a job like that couldn’t be that great of a parent, not if they were willing to put their kid in danger, which she was, because if they could get to Richie, they could get to her, and it was only a matter of time before they did just that. Richie wasn’t a good parent.

But, he didn’t truly believe that. From what he’d seen, Richie cared about his kid, even if he was a little flaky about picking her up from school. She was never hurt in any way, aside from the scraped-up knees and palms that came with childhood. She was always happy, too, one of the most well-adjusted kids in his class. She never threw fits or hurt other students, was always willing to share, and never complained when it was too rainy to go outside for recess. It was like she’d been raised by a saint, which Bill knew from looks alone, Richie wasn’t. Nothing about her screamed anything less than perfect parenting, which bothered Bill. He’d come to expect a lot of things from the children of the rich, and good manners and understanding were not very common. Either Richie had a very good nanny, or he was a damn good parent, and Bill wanted desperately to believe the latter. Because the worst thing about Alexia was her sense of style – which today was a bright yellow dinosaur t-shirt, a lacy pink tutu, and mini combat boots that matched her father’s – and Bill supposed there were worse things to teach your child than poor style choices.

So, when Richie showed up that afternoon, looking like he’d went back in time and robbed a nineties thrift store, Bill cornered him before he could get to Alex. From this close, Bill could see the chipped pink nail polish that he wore that matched Alex’s perfectly. Well, fuck, that was adorable. Honestly, the way Richie acted around Alexia made Bill’s heart melt.

“I have a question for you, Mr. Tozier,” Bill started off, trying not to invade Richie’s personal space too much. It wasn’t like he couldn’t just back up and move, but he seemed hellbent on staying as close to Bill as he could, that dumbass smile on his face that promised whatever he had to say was going to be complete horseshit. Still, Bill was going to ask.

“Ask away, Mr. Denbrough, I’m an open book,” Richie told him, dramatically wiggling his hands. It was an act, it was always an act. He had that happy voice going on, completely different from the one he used with Alexia, so Bill knew it was an act. He’d noticed a few things about Richie over the past year, one of which was that he used voices to cover up how he really felt. He didn’t panic easily, because he’d just transition into someone else, someone with the answers you wanted to hear, and you’d just let him, because you never actually wanted to hear the truth, anyway.

“What do you do for a living?” There, he’d asked. Now all he had to do was try not to let Richie bullshit him. Easier said than done.

“What?” The voice faltered for a second, replaced with a squeak of fear that was gone before Bill even got a chance to fully notice it. “I mean, why do you ask? It’s not like I do anything interesting.”

“I only ask because I’m worried about Alexia. You show up late at least once a week, look half dead most times, and honestly, it doesn’t seem like a healthy lifestyle choice, especially not for a parent. So, if you need help getting out of something-”

“Excuse me?” That wasn’t a fake voice at all. It was angry and real, and Bill knew he’d overstepped. Fuck, he should have just lied and said he was asking for career day, not that that would have been believable in the least. “What makes you think my life is any of your business?”

“I’m only worried about Alexia-” Bill tried to calm the situation. He hadn’t meant to piss Richie off, and now he was a little worried for his safety. If Richie was a criminal, he would have no problem harming someone who threatened him.

“Well, don’t. She’s not your kid. So, fuck off, because you’ve got no business getting involved,” Richie spat, backing away from Bill. He turned towards Alex, holding out his hand. “Come on, bug, let’s go home. I’ll make you a snack.”

“Graham crackers?” She asked, taking a hold of her father’s hand.

“Sure, Alex, whatever you want,” Richie said, making his way to the door. He pointedly ignored Bill’s gaze as he left, panic rising in his chest.

He didn’t calm down until he’d gotten in his car. He had no idea what to do know. Obviously, that motherfucking Denbrough suspected something. He had to switch schools. But he couldn’t. This was the best school he could find that was close enough to his house and the farthest from his job, so they’d never find out where his little girl was, should something go wrong. And it could go wrong. It could always go wrong.

He had a plan for if it did, but that only worked if it went wrong because of an inside reason, not because some fucking school teacher stuck his nose in someone else’s business. God, rich people were so fucking nosy. Why couldn’t he just leave Richie alone? It wasn’t like his job was interfering with his parenting. Sure, he showed up late sometimes, but that was it!

He was a great father, better than any of the families he’d been with, including his own. As much as he loved his father, he had had a few places where his parenting had lacked. Richie was trying to do better for his kid. Trying to love her and raise her right. That meant less gender roles, rules, and punishments, and more talks about emotions, futures, and encouragement. And, of course, the best school he could afford, and thanks to his job, he could afford a good one.

That was the only reason why he did what he did. To provide for his little girl. All he wanted was to keep her happy and healthy, with the bills paid and plenty left over to give her anything she needed, and he knew he couldn’t get that legally. He was a high school dropout in a world where three college degrees left you working minimum wage at some fast food restaurant. He couldn’t compete in this world’s job market. So, he did what he had to, and if that meant working for Pennywise and the Bower’s Gang, then so be it. As long as he could take care of Alexia, that was all that mattered to him.

But now his life was being threatened by a nosy schoolteacher. He had to get him off his back. That meant he had to be on time, every day, from now on. No more bruises showing, no more reasons for questions to be asked. He bought cover up for the bruises and kept it in his car to apply when needed. He kept a change of clothes in the back at all times in case his got ripped. And for the next two months, he was on time every day to pick up Alexia. He didn’t fuck up once.

Not until all hell broke loose, at least.

Things had been slowly going to hell at his job for the past two weeks, but then they found out about him keeping documents on them. They found out how much he really had, how much he knew, and they were ready to take him down. He’d ended up having to scramble to get out of town, packing their bags and making a few stops to get everything in order. He hadn’t been warned until two that afternoon, that they would be coming for him that night, probably around midnight, once he was asleep. He had to leave, had to get out, but he’d ended up being caught in the middle of leaving and had to run from them. He didn’t get away until he’d driven them off the road. Their car had flipped twice, and he was sure they were dead. He didn’t even know their names, they were new, just following orders, and now he’d killed them. Killing someone always made him want to puke.

But now it was five thirty and he needed to get his kid and get out of town. Well, he supposed Denbrough wasn’t going to forgive this time so easily. He laughed as he pulled up outside the school. He had to get in and get out quickly, before anyone could find him. No time to deal with Bill’s bullshit.

“Are you okay?”

Richie ignored Bill, instead going directly to Alexia and picking her up in a hug before she could even speak. He held her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and allowed himself a second to relax. She was safe, he was going to get her out of there, they’d be okay. Everything would be okay, he had to believe that.

“Richie! Richie, you’re bleeding all over my carpet, would you like to tell me what the absolute fuck is going on, or should I just call the cops now?” Bill demanded, walking up to the two of them. He had no idea what was going on, but it was nearly six and Richie looked like he’d narrowly escaped death and now there was blood on his floor from the gash in Richie’s side. How the hell was he supposed to deal with this?

“Watch your language,” Richie hissed, setting Alexia down with a wince. “And I’m fine, I’ve just got to go now. Thank you for watching her. I promise, we won’t be any more trouble to you after today.”

“What do you mean by that? What’s going on, Richard? You want to explain? Because if you don’t, I swear to god, I’m calling the cops and then CPS and-”

“I fucked over some bad people, okay, William? That’s what happened. Now stop asking questions, because I’ve got to go,” Richie said, grabbing Alexia’s hand and heading for the door.

Bill stopped him. “The only place you’re going is a hospital. I don’t care what happened, you can explain it all to the police-”

“No! No hospital, no cops! I’ve got to get my daughter somewhere safe. Now get out of my way or I swear I’ll kick your ass,” Richie growled, stepping into Bill’s personal space.

Bill swallowed hard, a little bit afraid for himself, but more for Richie and Alexia, “At least let me tape up your side so you don’t bleed out before you leave the city.”

“What?” Richie had expected a lot from Bill, but not an offer of help. That being said, he did need it. “Fine, but make it fast. I don’t have much time.”

“It’ll take two minutes and then you can go,” Bill promised, heading for the first aid kit he kept under the sink. It wasn’t enough to completely fix Richie, but it was something. He grabbed it and motioned for Richie to take a seat on one of the tables. “Here, take off your shirt.”

“Now, see, I knew it. All those questions. You just wanted and excuse to talk me out of my clothes. Could have just asked, with a pretty face like yours. I wouldn’t have said no,” Richie snorted, pulling the shirt over his head.

Alexia let out a squeak at the sight.

“Hey, bug, go play with the blocks, okay? Mr. Denbrough is gonna play doctor for a minute, but Daddy’s gonna be alright, I promise. It just looks scary right now, but it’s okay.” It wasn’t technically a lie, he would be okay, just maybe not any time soon.

Alexia nodded, trusting her father, and let them to their work. If her dad said everything was fine, then it was. He’d never lied to her before.

“Well, it doesn’t look like you need stitches, so that’s good. I can just tape it up and you’ll be good to go. Do you want to tell me what happened or not?” Bill asked, pulling out supplies. The kit didn’t have everything he needed, it was made for playground scrapes, not criminal violence, but he would make do. He’d done more with less before, after all.

“I’d rather not answer any more questions right now. The less you know, the better, anyway.” That way Bill couldn’t get himself in trouble over this. Wouldn’t that make a nice headline. No, it was better not to spill his guts, Bill hadn’t done anything to him, he wasn’t going to drag him into this if he didn’t have to.

Bill nodded as he looked Richie over, noting the rest of his wounds, nothing too serious, but he’d look like hell tomorrow. His eyes landed on the chipped blue nail polish that he wore. Bill would have thought it was cute if he wasn’t so concerned about Richie bleeding out in the parking lot. There was a lot about Richie he wished he’d gotten to know, but it didn’t seem like he was going to get the chance. He sighed as he finished taping up the gash, letting his fingers rest on Richie’s skin a moment longer than necessary before pulling away and telling him, “You’re all done, now do you want me to see about that cut on your lip, or would you-”

“Well, well, well, looks like somebody got detention.”

Richie’s head snapped up at the sound of the voice, panic flooding his veins. “Shit.”

“We were just looking for you, but it looks like you’ve got a whole lot you haven’t told us about, haven’t you?” The thug grinned, looking pointedly at Alexia. “Never would have though you for a father.”

“You leave her alone,” Richie demanded, pushing past Bill to stand up, putting himself between the two men and his daughter. He wasn’t going to let them hurt her. This was his mistake, he wasn’t going to let them drag her into it. “Bill, I need you to take Alexia and run. Come here.”

Bill stood, shaken and afraid, unsure of what to do, but more worried about Alexia than himself. He’d lived his life, but she was just a kid, she was one of his students, it was his job to protect her. In that moment, he wasn’t sure who he hated more, the thugs at the door or Richie for getting them all tangled up in his fucked up mess. He came up to Richie, keeping an eye on the men who were closing in on them.

“Take my bag, there’s a flashdrive inside of it that you’ll need. Take her to Chuck E Cheese, the one on Luther. Don’t call the cops unless I’m not there by seven. If I’m not, call them and give them the flashdrive. I’ll come for you as soon as I get rid of these fuckers, okay? Keep her safe, Bill. Promise me you’ll keep her safe,” Richie instructed him, keeping his voice low so he couldn’t be overheard. He hated dragging him into this, but it was too late now. All he wanted was to keep his daughter safe, and if that meant using Denbrough to do so, then he would.

Bill nodded, not trusting himself to speak. If he said anything, it would probably be to tell Richie to go fuck himself. But that wasn’t helpful. He grabbed Alexia’s hand and made a run for the door to the playground as Richie charged the two men. There was no way he was getting out of this alive, Bill was sure of it. He was scrawny and already hurt, they were huge and looked like they could break him with their bare hands.

Bill hesitated at the door to his car, he could call the cops now and fix this whole mess. He didn’t want to be involved, this wasn’t his problem. But the way Alexia clung to his hand, he knew he couldn’t just abandon them. Richie said until seven, he’d give him until then.

Not that Bill had much hope he’d make it out alive.

Next Chapter -->

#it 2017 #bichie #richie tozier #bill denbrough #stephen king's it #i've been dying to write this for over a year #i'm p pleased with this chap #it fic #bichie fic #losers club fic #my fics #hide and seek au

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unholyhelbiglinked · 7 years ago

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Deadly Devotion | III

The crowd was especially overwhelming in the café. Possibly because it was a Sunday morning and that's the busiest day of the week but it was beginning to annoy Mamrie more than usual. The customers were being rude and the machines weren't working properly and everything was just not falling into place. It didn't help that she had a terrible hangover from the night before. Although, she has gotten somewhat used to it.

The familiar ringing of the café's bells makes Mamrie cringe but she doesn't look up nor does she say "bonjour" because apparently this man's coffee needs more milk and she doesn't have the time nor energy to lift her head and speak words to someone who is probably going to complain like everyone else. But there's a blur of blonde hair that catches her attention. Her heart races as she tries to focus on the coffee. She tries to calm herself down because this happens all the time. Whenever she sees a blonde woman, she automatically thinks it's her. And she knows that it's not but she always has a brief moment of panic. She goes through the next few customers before she's met with the blonde woman she practically had a heart attack over.

"Bonjour! Je m'appelle, Hannah. Je cherche un emploi."

Mamrie groans because this girl is way too upbeat and happy right now and Mamrie is so not that. The blonde is obviously struggling with speaking the native language and her voice and appearance tells Mamrie that she's from the states.

"Relax. I speak English," Mamrie says.

The blonde looks surprised but smiles.

"Oh sorry. Um," Hannah pauses, looking for a name tag, "Charlotte. I'm looking for a job."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. Could you like get to the point because there's a whole line of people who are gonna get pissed if we don't hurry this conversation up," Mamrie points to the people behind Hannah.

"I was uh wondering if I could talk to your manager perhaps?"

"You're lookin' at her."

Hannah raises her eyebrows in disbelief but smiles still.

"Are you hiring?"

"No," Mamrie says shortly.

"Oh. Could you maybe make an exception for a fellow American? Because I really need a job. I've been looking for one for weeks and-"

"Listen, you are holding up this line. I don't have time for this."

Hannah huffs and moves out of the way so that the person behind her can order. She decides not to leave just yet though. Eventually the crowd will die down so she'll just wait until that happens. She finds a comfortable seat and takes out her computer to pass time.

Mamrie, on the other hand, rolls her eyes when she sees that Hannah has not left yet. What part of "no" doesn't she understand? Frankly, she cannot afford to hire someone new. She would love to because the other two guys who work at the café hardly speak to her and half the time they don't even show up for their shifts but she just can't afford it.

After about half an hour, Mamrie finally gets a chance to take a deep breath and relax. But sure enough, Hannah walks over to her before she gets to even release said breath.

"Would you just take a look at my resumé?" Hannah asks, pushing a white piece of paper towards Mamrie.

Mamrie picks it up because she can tell that this girl is not going to take no for an answer.

"You went to Berkeley?"

"Yeah," Hannah smiles proudly, "where'd you go?"

"NYU," Mamrie lies, "So why are you looking to work at a café instead of using your bachelor's degree?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Hannah fires back.

Mamrie raises a brow at her.

"You do know that I own this place right? I'm not just some worker. So basically I'm a business owner so maybe I am using my degree."

"Something tells me you did not go to NYU for business. You're not the type of person I would see as a business major."

Mamrie decides that she likes this girl. She's ballsy.

"I don't know what you mean by that but I'd be careful since you are the one who needs a job and I am the one who will determine that."

"Oh so now you're considering it? I thought you weren't hiring," Hannah smirks.

Mamrie snorts and throws an apron at Hannah's face.

"Put it on, Blondie."

"Really?" Hannah gasps and looks at Mamrie with wide eyes.

"Don't make me regret it."

"Thank you so much, Charlotte!"

"Yeah whatever."

Mamrie ended up firing one of the men that worked at the café. Well, he stopped showing up so she took him off the payroll and put Hannah on, which worked out great because turns out, Hannah took to the job quickly and easily. Mamrie trains her for a week and then she's on her own. Mamrie has to help with the language barrier sometimes but Hannah knows some French and can usually get by on her own.

"We need to get you a name tag. What's your last name?"

"Hart."

Mamrie's heart jumps. That's her last name. Well, was her last name. What are the odds? She internally panics for a moment because what if Hannah knows who she is? What if she recognizes her? What if she just said "Hart" to get a reaction out of her? What if she's a cop? Or a detective? What if she's been hired to find Mamrie? What if she's secretly reporting back to someone in the states?

"Um Charlotte? You okay?" Hannah snaps her out of her daze.

"Oh uh yeah, sorry. Spelled H-A-R-T?"

"Yes ma'am."

Mamrie mentally punches herself for thinking that Hannah was spying on her. She couldn't see Hannah as a spy at all. She's just a sweet girl who was in need of a job. Mamrie has yet to find out why Hannah is in France but she sure as hell isn't going to ask because she knows Hannah will ask her the same question.

Since she hired Hannah, Mamrie hasn't had a day off. She always had to be there because she still needed to be somewhat of a translator for Hannah. But she was definitely in need of a day off and she knew exactly how to solve her problem. She pulled Hannah aside when the café was dead.

"We're gonna play a little learning game, okay?"

Hannah was confused but nodded regardless.

"Everyday there will be a word of the day on the board back here," Mamrie points to the white board, "It'll be a French word and it'll have the definition next to it. You have to use it in a conversation to a customer everyday."

"Huh. Okay. Deal. Is that why you write words on your hand? To learn more French?"

Mamrie looks down at her hand, the black ink read "jouer." She didn't realize that people saw what she wrote on her hands. She didn't think people really paid attention to small things like that.

"Yes. But I'm teaching you this game because I need a break from this café. And I can't have a day off if I need to play translator for you," Mamrie smirks.

"Hey! I'm trying my hardest!" Hannah says.

And so, each day Hannah would learn a new word and use it on a daily basis. It wasn't long before Mamrie felt comfortable enough to leave Hannah in charge of the café. At first, she would just take a lunch break for an hour or so and then come back to check on Hannah. But she realized that Hannah really doesn't need her there all of the time. She told her if she has a question, to just call her. Normally she wouldn't trust a beginner by themselves in the café but for some reason, she trusts Hannah. Although Mamrie doesn't know much about Hannah, she has such a positive attitude and the customers seem to enjoy her so why not leave her in charge?

About two weeks had passed and Hannah had taken care of the café by herself about four times and all of those times were successful. Inevitably, Mamrie and Hannah got closer. Hannah invited Mamrie over to her apartment for a few drinks one night. Mamrie ended up telling Hannah about the café and Louise and how great of a person Louise was.

"She sounds amazing. I wish I could've met her."

"Yeah. She was like a mother to me," Mamrie raises her glass to the ceiling, "Cheers ya old bat."

Hannah smiles because the brunette seemed to have a great relationship with this Louise woman.

"So she left you the café? Just like that?"

"Well yes. Because apparently none of her children wanted it and her husband passed away awhile ago so," Mamrie trails off.

Hannah decides it's probably best to change the subject. She could see the sadness in the taller woman's eyes.

"Wanna hear about the date I had with that girl who came into the café the other day?"

Mamrie nods eagerly while she refills their glasses.

"Well, I picked her up at her apartment which was a bitch and a half because my GPS was speaking to me in French and well...I'm not very good with direction," Hannah laughs, "But I got there eventually and we went to the park down the street and had a picnic. She spoke a bit of English but for the most part, I was just trying to understand what she was talking about."

"Well that sounds...good," Mamrie chuckles.

"It was alright, I suppose. I don't think I'll be seeing her again. But it wasn't the worst. I'm just proud that I had the balls to ask her out in the first place," Hannah smirks.

"Oh please! I had to give you like four pep-talks before you even thought about talking to her!"

"Yeah yeah," Hannah snorts, "But I still did it...eventually."

"Well I'm glad the date didn't go horribly," Mamrie smiles.

"Me too," Hannah pauses, "Enough about me! What about you? Do you go out on dates or anything?"

"Oh hell no. I don't do the dating bullshit."

"Why not? You're an attractive woman, Charlotte, I'm sure lots of people are lining up for you."

Mamrie reaches for the wine bottle again and pours her third or fourth glass of wine. She hates talking about this stuff and Hannah can sense it.

"It's okay. I get it. Dating isn't exactly fun," Hannah starts, "When's the last time you went out on a date?"

"Oh gosh. Probably about three years ago," Mamrie frowns at the memory.

"Oh. Well, if you don't mind me asking, have you been in any serious relationships?"

"Yeah, a couple. But," Mamrie pauses, bringing the clear glass to her lips, "they both ended around the same time, two and a half years ago."

#GraceHelbig #HannahHart #MamrieHart #Mace #fanfiction

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onyx-archer · 7 years ago

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The Deaths of Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell

This is a post I never thought I’d have to write in my entire life. Hell, there were times where I thought I’d die before this kind of horrible news hit the world. Alas, here I am, writing a post about the death of two artists I respected and admired. I know it’s been two months since the passing of Chris Cornell, but seeing as today would have been his birthday, and given the passing of Chester, I figured I should write a post, dedicated to the two of them.

For as long as I can remember, the music of Linkin Park has been in my life. I may not have been a fan since “Hybrid Theory” (I came in around the time “Minutes to Midnight” had come out), but I’m a fan none the less, who has a deep appreciation for the music made by the members of Linkin Park during my formative years. My passion for their music may have died out as the years went by, since I’d grown up, and the old Linkin Park became kinda cringey, but I’m still a fan.

Admittedly, I’m not really a fan of their newer albums, outside of “The Hunting Party,” and I wasn’t even remotely a fan of “One More Light.” I still dislike that album with most every fibre of my being, since that’s not the Linkin Park that meant something to me. It wasn’t the band I loved in terms of how it sounded. I’m not some “Hybrid Theory” worshiping nut, and personally think “Meteora” is there best release, with “Minutes to Midnight” probably being my second favorite. Songs like “Breaking The Habit” and “Bleed It Out” are what come to mind for me. There’s a certain darkness, yet hopefulness in those two albums which, for me, was a big deal.

Back when I was a kid, I was bullied and abused at home and at school. It was hell, and to this day, the scars haven’t fully healed yet, and I struggle to believe they will ever heal. There was a certain kind of... relatability I found in Linkin Park’s music at the time, and it appealed to that side of me who thought “this life I live is hell, and I feel so alone” on a daily basis. I tried committing suicide a number of times, but either I couldn’t do it because I was scared, or someone came into the room, took whatever it was out of my hand, and hugged me until the thoughts faded, crying because I was just sick of it all.

Obviously, I’m still here. And I like to think it’s because of the music of both Chester, Chris, and their respective musical endeavors.

Chester Bennington was a man who experienced a similar kind of hell when he was growing up, and upon reflection in this time of tragedy, it was clear he was expressing that anger, that sorrow, that fear, and all of the other related emotions a person who was traumatized by the disgusting act of another person taking their own pain out on others. And for him, it was likely the thing that lead to this conclusion for him. He suffered from substance abuse, likely in his attempts to self-medicate, and numb the pain he felt from those open wounds that had yet to heal in his psyche.

He was in pain, and he was able to hide it well enough that nobody was able to notice until it was too late, and now we’ll never know. His recent actions of lashing out at people who were upset that “One More Light” wasn’t “Linkin Park enough” was evidence of his deteriorating state of mind. He put his heart and soul into that project, and it was being rejected by a good chunk of the fans he thought were there for him. I wasn’t a fan, but I tried to understand why the album came out the way it did. It probably didn’t help to know a man he called a dear friend, and an inspiration, hung himself two months ago. His open letter shows that he was shaken by the death of Chris Cornell. It probably played a factor in his choice to end his own life, though that’s me trying to make sense of all of this.

Two Months Ago, Chris Cornell, a man that, while I wasn’t as actively aware of for a good chunk of my life, I considered one of my biggest inspirations musically, chose to hang himself. It’s still really sad to think about, considering while I wasn’t the biggest Soundgarden fan, there was always something about Chris Cornell’s voice that made me think “That. That’s what I want to be able to do some day.” I don’t really mean musically, but just... the idea that I wanted to be able to cut through all of life’s bullshit, and try to inspire others to do the same. Chris’s music is something that while I’m not as familiar with, resonates with me in a way that I can’t even begin to properly do justice in describing.

The fact that Chester would soon follow makes both deaths that much more devastating. Chester and Chris were legends in their own right, regardless of what you think of their music. Those who can bring people together like that deserve to be celebrated, and these two men were able to do just that for so many. They lead to friends being made, loves being found, and they inspired people through their music. They will both be missed.

The stars that shine the brightest are always the ones that burn out the fastest, and sometimes, those stars are so bright that the heavens themselves weep when they blink out of existence. When stars like that go out, the sky feels just a little bit greyer, a little bit more lonely then it was the previous night. But someday, that star’s end will mark the beginning of a new chapter, and new stars will rise from the dust of the ones that fell.

I continue to offer my thoughts and condolences to those who were the most affected by this tragedy. Hopefully, those involved with both Soundgarden and Linkin Park will be able to continue to shine bright... but I think that those names should rest with the stars that gave them a voice. I look forward to the next chapter for both groups, in whatever they do next.

Rest In Peace Chester Bennington

Rest In Peace Chris Cornell

With love from a fan who will miss those two lights in the sea of stars,

Kris.

#Long post #chester bennington #Chris Cornell #Linkin Park #Soundgarden #Rest In Peace #RIP #Personal #emotional post

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zucca101 · 7 years ago

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Friendship ending

A lot of people have had friends dump them because they either voted for Trump or don’t hate Trump enough.

And when they are forced to see that the friends they try to dump aren’t horrible people, they perform mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their former friends are horrible people.

The following is a long rant from one such friend of mine and my response. If you recognize who it is, I DEMAND you seek no reprisal from them. I am keeping them anonymous to protect their identity for just that reason.

... A leftist, really now. Ahaha, oh wow.

*Link to the post I made about Lincoln being shot by a Leftist*-Z

Yes, noted Confederate sympathizer and anti-abolitionist John Wilkes Booth. A leftist.I was already keeping you at a healthy arm's length while putting up a vague semblance of friendship for the sake of not rocking the boat on that one server we're in, but holy shit have you ever lost your damn marbles. I can't do this, lmaoI mean, you've got an impressive collection of bullshit on that blog of yours all around, but this? chef kissHonestly, on some level, you impress me. How someone can claim to be anti-establishment while sucking up to the establishment every possible way they can, how someone can claim to be "seeking truth" only to disregard all evidence that can't be traced back to some skeezy reactionary Facebook page or another delivered to you through the impermeable little bubble of right-wingers you've created for yourself along with the right wing side of mass media your purportedly loathe so much... tell me, just how much cognitive dissonance do you deal with on a daily basis?How does it feel to claim to be "pro life", or to claim that you care about others only to push for measures to restrict access to healthcare, or to vehemently yell against anything the government could do that would make it easier for people to come out of the vicious spiral of poverty?(edited)How does it feel to constantly pretend to care about minorities, but only ever use us as gotchas to other minorities that you've internally designated as universally bad in spite of any evidence to the contrary - not to mention, without ever listening to us if we tell you you did something wrong, instead cherry picking those of us willing enough to suck up to the establishment to tell you what you want to hear, so you never have to confront the idea you may have done something wrong?(edited)Hell, isn't that what they call "virtue signaling" in your circles?Beyond your dishonesty to others, ask yourself this: are you even honest to yourself? Aren't you robbing yourself of any kind of personal growth by doing all this? Are you really contributing anything positive to this world by constantly spreading unchecked factoids that instantly fall apart the moment you expose them to any actual scientific sources (you know, the ones people in your general political corner like to call "fake news"), or by spreading the idea that people in dire straits should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps?Or for that matter, by resisting any measure of change towards a fairer society and instead vocally gushing about the virtues of a system that, by its very nature, its very definition, its very -essence- is about fucking over who you can, and quietly plugging your ears to anything you hear about the many negative consequences it has for the world, or the people living in it?Come back to me once you've learned how to maintain a shred of integrity, I suppose. Maybe take some time to reflect on what it means to be a good person. I can't be friends with someone to whom I have to explain why they should care about other people.Goodbye.

This is my response:

In 1865 John Wilkes Booth, a Democrat, assassinated Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States.

In 1881 a left wing radical Democrat shot James Garfield, President of the United States who later died from the wound.

In 1963 Lee Harvey Oswald, a radical left wing socialist, assassinated John F. Kennedy, President of the United States.

In 1975 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of the United States.

In 1983 John Hinckley, a registered Democrat, shot and wounded Ronald Reagan and paralyzed a member of his cabinet.

... In 1984 James Huberty, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant in San Ysidro, CA.

In 1986 Patrick Sherril, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 15 people in an Oklahoma post office.

In 1990 James Pough, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.

In 1991 George Hennard, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 23 people in a Lubys cafeteria.

In 1995 James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.

In 1999 Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 8 people at a church service.

In 2001 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.

In 2003 Douglas Williams, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin plant.

In 2007 Seung - Hui Cho, a registered Democrat, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010 Jared Lee Loughner, a mentalliy ill registered Democrat, shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011 James Holmes, a registered Democrat, went into a movie theater and shot and killed 12 people.

In 2012 Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people in Minneapolis.

In 2013 Adam Lanza, a registered Democrat, shot and killed men, women, and children in the Sandy Hook school massacre.

Leftist? Maybe JWB was, maybe he wasn't. But a Democrat, he assuredly was. Perhaps I overreached in saying he was a Leftist, but I should clarify that when I say 'Leftist' I don't mean 'someone on the Left'. I mean someone who believes The Left is the ONLY way. The same way I draw distinction between Muslims and Islamists. Islamists want to push it on others. Muslims are the broadest defition of those who follow Islam.

And what establishment am I sucking up to....? I don't watch Fox with any kind of regularity. I get most of my facts from self-described 'classic liberals' whose hearts are on the Left, but their minds are more centrist. They have intellectual honesty. I listen to Gavin McInnis to blow off steam, Bill Whittle for the Right of Center take on news and Sargon for Left of Center.

I don't care for the mass media because while I suspected that they were liars and obfuscating before, to finally have iron-clad proof of it is extremely liberating.

And I CHALLENGE YOU to show me where I said that women should not have access to healthcare. Or even hinted at it. What, you think because I know Single Payer is garbage that will create a pile of corpses. I'm against healthcare for women? I've even said that my stance on abortions is that it should be between the woman and her doctor, not the woman, the government, the doctor, some pencil pushers and more. Just as my stance on same-sex marriage is that it should be between a couple and the church of their choice, not to make it legally compulsory and simply flip the oppression over rather than making it fair and equal of measure. And where abortions are concerned, the parental rights of the father are nonexistent. Now, in cases such as incest and rape (Which if you look at the stats, represent a small minority of abortions) still strongly urge the mother to consider life, but if she chooses abortion, while I find it extremely distasteful (The child DOES NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS) I fully understand and sympathize with the decision.

As for helping people out of poverty, you know what's the BEST way out of poverty that ISN'T a government program?

A job. A simple job. And if the government creates conditions that *encourage* job growth, then you accomplish the same end without making people dependent on the governmnet.

That's not to say that there shouldn't be charity for people who TRULY cannot help themselves. That's a given. But when you extend the scope of those within the perview of the government to give money to to include people who CAN help themselves, then you create dependents. And it's not that they're bad or lazy people. They're taking the least complicated route. If you get more money for not working than you do for working, you'll take the one that affords you free time to spend with your family, friends or on your own pursuits.

Constantly pretend to.... universally bad...? WHAT....? Dude, don't even try that one. Blah-blah, anyone Right of Mao is racist, blah. Pardon my French, but go fly a frikken kite. In my tabletop gaming group, my friend Paul, 2nd Generation Japanese immigrant, is the most decent and kind man I've had the pleasure of knowing. He's a good dad to his kids and a good husband to his wife. My freind Zach is from a huge Filipino family and he's the best GM I've ever met, short of my oldest brother. John grew up in a Cadillac before his parents legally became citizens and came up to America from Mexico. These are guys I trust, literally, with my life. And none of us give a crap what the other looks like.

And I admit, for a while I was 100% not on board with Transsexualism. But since then I've come to stand that an adult who has spoken to a therapist and doctor, sorted out their feelings and decided after consideration that they wish to transition is completely fine by me. It doesn't hurt me or anyone else and if they've spoken to a therapist, then they're not setting themselves up for something regrettable. Now, trans-trenders, who want the status of being special and different, but don't want to go through the heartache and effort of making that transition, I call out for their bullshit, because not only are they full of shit, they're robbing REAL transsexuals of their credibility, their agency and their respect. And for some transsexuals to come out and say 'You don't have a right not to have sex with a transsexual', can't you see how that would rub some folk the wrong way?

Don't even try to talk to me about science, friend. I studied biology, agricultural science and psychology and I know a thing or two and when someone obfuscates or has nothing peer-reviewed, then I get suspicious. Again, I'd sorely love for you to point out where I was 'anti-science'.

And if you're suggesting that Socialism is your fluffy 'Fair Society' then I suggest you travel to Venezuala. I have a friend who lives there and the picture he paints is NOT a pretty one. How do you define a 'Fair society'? Because I define it as a society that rewards effort. You do a hard day's work, you make a fair wage and you work your way up the ladder. You can't try to take luck or privilege into account on EITHER Socialism or Capitalism, because there is no way to quantify the variable of luck and when you look at privelege, then it exists in the pipedream of Socialism too, because the people running it will ALWAYS BE BETTER OFF than the people who are not. That's simple human nature. The Great Wheel of Life as the Buddhists describe still exerts its effect on a Socialist state as much as a Capitalist. But unlike Socialism, at least in Capitalism you have, barring disability, the same shot as anyone else does to earn a good living.

I find it laughable that you sit there, where you are, and decry someone you know through occasional chats as either a good person or a not good person based on arbitrary variables.

See, the truth is that life is not as black and white as that. It's an exquisite composition of greys and other colors.

Sometimes life is good, sometimes life is not, but if you are free to self-determination (Something you DO NOT HAVE IN SOCIALISM) then you have a chance to better yourself. You DARE to accuse me of not caring about people out of one side of your mouth, while, with the other, propping up Socialism, which *DOES NOT CARE* about people to the point that a child is worthy of sacrifice due to SIMPLE INCONVENIENCE?! Sorry, but *fuck* that is the very cognative dissonance you accuse me of in plain and flagrant view.

I push myself to be a good person. I don't hurt people, I volunteer, I help the seniors at my church with many needs, I'm there for my friends and family and will drop what I'm doing to help, I treat everyone working retail with respect and actively try to make their day brighter, I don't care what color someone's skin is, I don't care if someone is disabled (My best friend back in Youth Bowling League and a better bowler than I, was a deaf boy named Arron), and I am generally considered to be very 'chill' in person and am so without chemical intervention. Does that make me a good person? I don't rightly know. I just do the best I can with what I've got. And I don't *dare* to assume that I have moral highground unless it's a truly clear-cut case. I've never killed, raped (Even though 3rd Wave Feminism insists that in every man there is a rapist that needs to be taught not to rape_) or stolen anything (Some shoplifting in my youth notwithstanding). In other words, I try to be a decent and polite person and let the world decide if I am or not a good person.

But what boggles my mind is that the line between good person and bad person is tied DIRECTLY to what side of the political spectrum they fall under. That is simplisticly childish. As is the 'Come back to me when you care about people' nonsense.

I will again wait for you to come to your senses and realize that life is not a cartoon with cartoonishly one-note people.

Genuinely warm regards,

-Zucca

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charmhappens · 6 years ago

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I'm going to take a risk and expand on this... I don't at all think anyone should be shaming any body type... but the point of the original post isn't to be like "it's okay to shame skinny people bc it's not as bad" and i dont think most people can hear what's actually being said bc they're feeling defensive and whatever.. so I want to try to break it down..

The point of the original post is that the underlying reasons for shaming either are different and that DOES matter.. And I repeat.. No body shaming is okay, none.

When someone shames a skinny person that usually comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity. It's often people who are overweight or even at a healthy weight who don't like their body or feel insecure about their shape, who are trying to feel better about their body by putting down the body of someone else who is more idealized in society.. like that bullshit saying "real women have curves." This comes from curvy women insecure about the fact that thin women (who often lack the same breast size, butt size, thigh size, whatever) are the ones that society is telling them men want the most. But it's not (or at least, rarely) coming from a place of actual disgust with the thinner/less curvy body type.

But..when someone shames a person that is overweight it is almost always because they think that person is actually disgusting, lazy, and probably dumb. They're grossed out by person. Do you understand how different that is to be on the receiving end of? They assume that they are the size they are because they just sit on their asses all day eating McD's and potato chips. They often actually think the overweight person IS A LESSER PERSON for being overweight.

And often, (thanks to, or at least reinforced by TV) overweight people are presumed to be low class, low IQ, idiots who are consequently made the butt of many jokes.

(If you're familiar, rewatch the Friends episodes where they talk about or revisit "fat Monica" and actually pay attention to how "fat Monica" is portrayed as this happy idiot who just can't stop putting food in her mouth or like.. the whole final season of The Office where they really dug in on the fat jokes.. as much as I like both shows, the way they make fun of the overweight can be a little wild to anyone who is sensitive to the jokes)

..Meanwhile, since I've brought up media... you know who is not made fun of for their size on every other show? Skinny people. (Notice I didn't say theyre "never" made fun of .. but it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay rarer and I personally can't recall a time it happened).

Back to the point.. body shaming is not okay, ever, but being shamed (and I'm not even saying "body shamed" here bc they're shamed on a much larger level..) for being overweight and being body shamed for being thin are just not the same thing, they're not.

I'm still sorry to everyone who has experienced any form of it.

Personal note: I doubt anyone is still reading who was thinking the whole time "well yeah.. fat people are lazy or they wouldn't be fat" .. but just in case... I would like to add that I know a fair amount of overweight people and I don't know a single significantly overweight person who is not dealing with some real (meaning clinical, diagnosed) depression and/or anxiety and/or health/genetic issues causing their weight struggles. Not one of them is lazy, or stupid.. most are actually pretty highly intelligent, but all of them are struggling and thinking about their weight DAILY, and all of them feel the general shaming from society and experience the actual shaming and judgement from random people on a (highly) regular basis.

Some of you need to learn the difference between skinny girls being made to feel insecure about their body from certain people and fat girls being made to feel like their entire life is worthless because of their body size from literally the entire world

#body shaming #fat shaming #skinny shaming #weight shaming #notes

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howtoloseweightfastsafely · 6 years ago

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How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days And How You Can Too

NEW YORK, NY --- IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST.

I was in the midst of what I could only describe as a mental breakdown.

For the past few weeks, I'd been visualizing my "future self" quite often...

This "future self" being a healthy, happy and incredibly fit young man.

An image that, up until this day, had seemed like a sure shot.

As the wise men say, though, "all good things must come to an end". And in line with the prophecies or whatever you want to call them, my fairy tale had come to an end.

This end was the day I that my three, incredibly fast months of weight loss came to an abrupt stop.

(In reality, it had actually ended at least a few weeks prior. I'd just been too blind to realize it.)

It was the end of 30 pounds of rapid weight loss.

The end of an incredible amount of fat that disappeared, like a miracle, in less than 90 days.

A miracle that went just as fast as it came.

It went, even as I foolishly kept thinking I was "doing great" and "getting lean".

It went, until the fateful day I realized that I had made ZERO progress over the last 2-3 odd weeks.

...That the scale wasn't moving an inch.

That the fat on my stomach looked exactly as it did in the weeks prior.

And that my muscles seemed to look me back with the "ain't got time for yo' bullshit" look.

My BODY had officially had it.

And truth be told, I deserved it.

I thought I could read a 300-word blog post and follow its 6 "diet rules", learn NOTHING about nutrition, learn NOTHING about exercise, learn NOTHING about my body, and somehow transform from an obese slob to a lean, mean fat-burning machine.

Not so fast, buddy!

And so began my quest.

A quest that culminated in massive, lasting success to the tune of 76 pounds lost. And to the reality, not just a pipe dream, of transforming from an obese slob to a lean, mean, fat-burning machine.

But a quest that, for me, included the time to understand the finer points of nutrition. To understand the inner workings of both body and mind. To discover both time-tested strategies, and modern tips and tricks --- and to proverbially "hack" my way to the upper echelons of fitness. To hack my way to a level of mastery in the field, that ranks far above the "experts" spouting off their un-researched, unproven "facts"...yet below the level of claiming complete, unquestionable knowledge of the field.

Because as I've learned by studying the real experts, the claim of unquestionable knowledge is nothing more than proof of a tremendous ego and a complete lack of humility.

There is no one, I repeat no one, who knows everything there is to know about nutrition, exercise, physiology, psychology, and all the other components of building a healthy, happy, well-rounded person. (But there are some who know a whole lot, myself included. [end shameless plug])

The best we can really do is keep an open mind, and always strive to learn more, to apply more, and to test more.

To be better than we were yesterday and as good as we can be today, for ourselves, and for our clients, for our families, and for our friends, and to every single person, we come into contact with on a daily basis.

And in doing so, we can sow the seeds for an amazing, fulfilling, freeing life.

At least that's how I see life today, and how I hope you see life too (or start seeing it.)

Anyway, I know that was a bit philosophical, but it's important to get out there.

Moving on, let's get to the "meat" of what the book is all about.

I formally introduce you to one of the most comprehensive books on fat loss, fitness, and body-mind wellness that I know of (and trust me, I've read a TON of books on the topic) -- a book that combines:

Hundreds of conversations with health & wellness specialists, NY Times bestselling authors, world-class fat loss experts, and more.8

Insane amounts of study, research, testing, and application, both with myself and my clients. (This includes studying and implementing strategies from over 40 full-length books and 600+ research papers & expert commentaries.)

My unique 8+ years of small "successes", followed by seemingly insurmountable failures and culminating with the final, lasting 76-pound weight loss success that I have now.

Furthermore, I introduce you to a book that you can use to, at a minimum, grasp the "big picture" of fat loss so you can start transforming your body today (while of course delving deep into the knowledge if you'd like).

And lastly, I introduce you to a book that takes away all the guesswork, and makes it simple and easy to change your body, without all the B.S. of trying out a hundred and one things just to lose a damn pound!

I hope that you use this guide wisely. Use it with as much (inner) strength, vigor, and dedication as you can muster, and in doing so, you too can have your very own extreme fat loss transformation.

Interested in having a similar success story? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the next article about "How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It"

Moving forward, there are several other articles/topics I'll share so you can lose weight even faster and feel great doing it.

Below is a list of these topics and you can use this Table of Contents to jump to the part that interests you the most.

Topic 1: How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days - And How You Can Too

Topic 2: How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It

Topic 3: The #1 Ridiculous Diet Myth Pushed By 95% Of Doctors And "experts" That Is Keeping You From The Body Of Your Dreams

Topic 4: The Dangers of Low-Carb and Other "No Calorie Counting" Diets

Topic 5: Why Red Meat May Be Good For You And Eggs Won't Kill You

Topic 6: Two Critical Hormones That Are Quietly Making Americans Sicker and Heavier Than Ever Before

Topic 7: Everything Popular Is Wrong: The Real Key To Long-Term Weight Loss

Topic 8: Why That New Miracle Diet Isn't So Much of a Miracle After All (And Why You're Guaranteed To Hate Yourself On It Sooner or Later)

Topic 9: A Nutrition Crash Course To Build A Healthy Body and Happy Mind

Topic 10: How Much You Really Need To Eat For Steady Fat Loss (The Truth About Calories and Macronutrients)

Topic 11: The Easy Way To Determining Your Calorie Intake

Topic 12: Calculating A Weight Loss Deficit

Topic 13: How To Determine Your Optimal "Macros" (And How The Skinny On The 3-Phase Extreme Fat Loss Formula)

Topic 14: Two Dangerous "Invisible Thorn" Foods Masquerading as "Heart Healthy Super Nutrients"

Topic 15: The Truth About Whole Grains And Beans: What Traditional Cultures Know About These So-called "Healthy Foods" That Most Americans Don't

Topic 16: The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)

Topic 17: The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "meal" On Ridiculous Juice Cleanses)

Topic 18: The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)

Topic 19: How Chemicals In Food Make Us Fat (Plus 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply)

Topic 20: 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply

Topic 21: How To Protect Yourself Against Chronic Inflammation (What Time Magazine Calls A "Secret Killer")

Topic 22: The Truth About Buying Organic: Secrets The Health Food Industry Doesn't Want You To Know

Topic 23: Choosing High Quality Foods

Topic 24: A Recipe For Rapid Aging: The "Hidden" Compounds Stealing Your Youth, Minute by Minute

Topic 25: 7 Steps To Reduce AGEs and Slow Aging

Topic 26: The 10-second Trick That Can Slash Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Mortality By 37% (Most Traditional Cultures Have Done This For Centuries, But The Pharmaceutical Industry Would Be Up In Arms If More Modern-day Americans Knew About It)

Topic 27: How To Clean Up Your Liver and Vital Organs

Topic 28: The Simple Detox 'Cheat Sheet': How To Easily and Properly Cleanse, Nourish, and Rid Your Body of Dangerous Toxins (and Build a Lean Well-Oiled "Machine" in the Process)

Topic 29: How To Deal With the "Stress Hormone" Before It Deals With You

Topic 30: 7 Common Sense Ways to Have Uncommon Peace of Mind (or How To Stop Your "Stress Hormone" In Its Tracks)

Topic 31: How To Sleep Like A Baby (And Wake Up Feeling Like A Boss)

Topic 32: The 8-step Formula That Finally "fixes" Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested (If You Ever Find Yourself Hitting The Snooze Every Morning Or Dozing Off At Work, These Steps Will Change Your Life Forever)

Topic 33: For Even Better Leg Up And/or See Faster Results In Fixing Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested, Do The Following:

Topic 34: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 35: Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 36: Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 37: Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 38: Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 39: How To Beat Your Mental Roadblocks And Why It Can Be The Difference Between A Happy, Satisfying Life And A Sad, Fearful Existence (These Strategies Will Reduce Stress, Increase Productivity And Show You How To Fulfill All Your Dreams)

Topic 40: Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Topic 41: If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

Topic 42: Food Planning For Maximum Fat Loss In Minimum Time

Topic 43: How To Lose Weight Fast If You're in Chronic Pain

Topic 44: Nutrition Basics for Fast Pain Relief (and Weight Loss)

Topic 45: How To Track Results (And Not Fall Into the Trap That Ruins 95% of Well-Thought Out Diets)

Topic 46: Advanced Fat Loss - Calorie Cycling, Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting

Topic 47: Advanced Fat Loss - Part I: Calorie Cycling

Topic 48: Advanced Fat Loss - Part II: Carb Cycling

Topic 49: Advanced Fat Loss - Part III: Intermittent Fasting

Topic 50: Putting It All Together

#weightloss #diet

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bookreviewsandsamples · 6 years ago

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How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days And How You Can Too