#so try for a little self awareness if you want to join the fandom

[haptronym]

Hap's Adventures in Dadmight

aka “this experience was really strange so I’m going to write 6,000 words about it”.

Fandoms are bizarre. I know this, but I still keep doing the shocked Pikachu face whenever I join a new one. 

This time around, I really thought there would be no surprises. And yet, the fandom ended up having a really weird, really uncomfortable dynamic that confused the hell out of me for a long time. I met several others who said “Yeah, it freaks me out too,” but they couldn’t explain exactly why, and nobody really wanted to talk about it. So now that I’m mostly done with the My Hero Academia fandom, I’ll just go ahead and vaporize my bridges with a whole-ass case study about what on earth seemed to be going on here.

Warning: very long, very self-absorbed, as usual. Contains discussions of relationships, underage shippers, and how to influence whether something “feels” platonic vs. not.

Disclaimer 1: This doesn't apply to everything tagged "Dadmight." Just a select subset. But this subset appeared pretty consistently.

Disclaimer 2: I'm posting brief, fair-use-commentary examples of the content that made me question my sanity because it has to be seen to be believed, but I'm not including names or links because I don’t want to easily funnel negativity to them. If an author really wants me to, I’m happy to link directly to their story.

Disclaimer 3: I’m not trying to “spread awareness” or do a callout. I just like to write for fun and this time the fun was puzzling out why I, personally, had the experience I did. Many people feel differently and that's great. If all fluff has always felt 100% wonderful and charming to you, then this post isn't relevant to you. But if a supposedly "cute" story has ever made you squirm with discomfort, this might help explain why.

-

A few years ago, I took a terribly wrong turn in life and ended up in the My Hero Academia fandom. My kidnappers were these two:

In short: the little kid on the left, Izuku Midoriya, is exactly as dorky as he looks. He was born powerless in a world of comic-book superheroes and has a tendency to burst into tears under any possible circumstance. The series kicks off when the guy on the right, #1 hero and national celebrity All Might, sees potential in him despite all this. In a fit of inspiration, All Might decides to give Izuku the same chance he was given as a young boy. Despite being a notorious lone wolf, he (secretly) names Izuku as his successor and takes it upon himself to covertly train this weepy, noodle-limbed wimp into a hero, the hero, the next Symbol of Peace who will wield the world’s strongest superpower and safeguard the future of society. Surely they’ll pull it off just fine, right?

(Don’t ask how All Might switches from a bodybuilder to the skeleton pictured  above. The show doesn’t know either.)

I loved these two. I wanted eight seasons of beach training montage. The mentor/student shenanigans were hilarious and the found family potential was off the charts. They’re two awkward bumbling fools with several truckfuls of emotional baggage, brought together by purehearted heroic zeal. Wonderful.

However, I quickly discovered that the show shoveled approximately ten thousand new characters into every new episode and definitely wasn't going to slow down long enough to give me the All Might & Izuku content I craved. So I wandered off to see what kind of fanfiction was on tap.

...I wandered off, while bracing myself. I’ve been a weeb long enough to know that any characters who pass on power through “DNA” are never going to escape a fandom unscathed, regardless of pesky things like “Age Of Consent” and “Have You Watched A Single Minute Of This Show, He Would Never Fucking Do That”.

Their canon relationship is impressively alarming all on its own:

Izuku is 14-15. Underage character? Check. 

All Might is 55+. Enormous age gap? Check.

All Might is both Izuku’s secret mentor and his high school teacher. Teacher-student dynamics? Check.

Izuku is a nobody. All Might is a global celebrity. Staggering power imbalance? Check. 

Izuku’s superpower, which lets him go to the school of his dreams, accomplish his lifelong goals, and be the protagonist of this show, was given to him by All Might at great personal cost. Enormous sense of debt and obligation because of a huge sacrifice? Check.

Izuku is an outright fanboy. His room is full of posters and figurines of All Might in spandex. Other characters frequently comment on how obsessed he is. There is a whole plotline about him being so starstruck by All Might that he can’t think for himself. Literal hero worship? Check.

As the cherry on top, they spend most of the story pretending they don’t know each other and sneak around under the noses of every other character, including Izuku's mother. Secret hidden relationship with a minor that no other adult can learn the true extent of? Check. 

What a pair. Japanese fandom constantly cracks jokes about how Izuku is probably that kind of fanboy. Even official media is well aware of how sketchy it all looks:

With all this in play, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the stuff in their platonic-relationship fanfiction tag vastly outnumbered the stuff in their shipping one. Phew. Finally, a pair of characters who got something besides endless gross hornyposting. 

As I browsed, I kept seeing a certain tag: "Dadmight." This, unsurprisingly, was used by stories that decided to make All Might into Izuku’s biological father. But it was also used by... pretty much all non-shipping media that focused on their relationship. How interesting! I was used to ship pairings having nicknames, but not platonic ones. 

I could imagine why the name caught on. All Might was practically the definition of "goofy wholesome dad energy,” and his mentor/student relationship with Izuku was easy to see in a parental light. Plus, Izuku’s actual dad is never to be seen during the story. Clearly he deserves a replacement.

So I delved in. Man, this was going to be great! A huge amount of good clean platonic content, with an easy-to-find tag too. Reading about cute dadly shenanigans was going to be such a fun-

How he would love to fall asleep to the sound of his soft voice and the touch of his rough hands, telling him he was proud of him, caressing his hair. He was so mortified over having this need, for all kinds of reasons, but it became clear a long time ago that fighting it wouldn’t work, so he let himself dream.

Uh... well... Izuku didn’t grow up with a dad, so... maybe he needed a father figure... to... caress his hair with his rough hands...

More hums of contentment make their way from him, his body swaying with every push and pull from Toshinori’s long fingers. He uses them to massage Midoriya’s head, taking every moment to not just clean his hair, but to make him feel good; Toshinori can’t bear for this to be purely utilitarian.

Uhhh... okay... All Might was a rather isolated guy. I bet he appreciated being able to share time with his student... bathing time...

What if the boy would rather this stay simply as it has been, professional as mentor and mentee? What if Toshinori has read all of this wrong and the boy has no feelings above Toshinori being his teacher, and all Toshinori has done is fall harder and harder for him every day?

What was this? What exactly did people think kids got up to with their dads!?

Well, maybe I just found a few of the strange ones, I told myself. Fanfiction always has its odd outliers. But after more searching, I realized: no. There was wildly uncomfortable stuff all over. It wasn’t all Dadmight stories. But it was a lot. The most popular authors of the “Dadmight” tag wrote it and the rest of the Dadmight authors gave them big thumbs-ups. It was at least as popular as the “All Might is Izuku’s real dad” stuff and sat at the top of the kudos and comments sorting.

Were people just being polite? Or was I overreacting? I know how annoying it is when people deliberately take things in bad faith and demonize perfectly innocent human affectio—

He kept the contact to a minimum, not wanting to take advantage, not wanting to cross a single, unspoken boundary… but how could he possibly completely refrain, with both how proud and how worried Izuku made him?

There was a voice, in the back of his head, that didn’t agree. That voice – either logic or wishful thinking – told him that while Izuku didn’t initiate physical affection, he surely did lean into it, and seemed to crave receiving it as much as Toshinori craved giving it.

Oh god oh god oh god what is happening STOP—

This was horrible. I just wanted to enjoy cute fluff. I’d never had this reaction to platonic fanfic before. I’m a big found family fan and my worst issue with fluff is usually just that it tends to be kind of samey. I normally love reading about chaste affection and closeness between characters who care about each other. So why did these stories read like Lolita AUs to me? Did shippers in this fandom like to hide their softcore stuff in the platonic tags?

I was soon able to find out. I had been writing my own All Might & Izuku story, and got invited to a “Dadmight-centric” Discord server. Almost all the popular Dadmight authors were there, including the ones who wrote the particular stories that made my skin crawl. There were several channels where people brainstormed, critiqued, and discussed the motivations behind their writing. 

Cool! I’d be able to meet new people, make some friends, and get a better understanding of what the Dadmight dynamic really was. So I introduced myself, I chatted, I lurked. Everyone was really nice.

I found zero cheeky shippers. The writers claimed to be horrified by the idea of shipping the two of them. They would never disrespect the purity and innocence of this beautiful platonic relationship, they said, as they churned out stories about Izuku “coming undone” under the caress of All Might’s rough hands. Right...

I could’ve understood if this was coming from naive 14-year-olds. But some of these people were in their 30’s, with kids of their own. If anyone understood family dynamics, it should’ve been them.

But after I spent more time around the server, I began to notice something else... something which explained a ton of the strangeness. 

Baby Fever

To understand what was happening, you first have to understand that Izuku’s baby face inflicts instant brain damage on sight. I mean, look at him:

aaa his cute widdle cheeks oh my god—

This kid sets off maternal instincts like landmines, and in the Dadmight server, I found that the Izuku infantilization train had gone completely off the rails. Writers constantly cooed over the adorable antics of 2, 3, 5-year olds and constantly talked about how much they wanted to make Izuku act them out. And surely, if All Might could indulge in the parental joy of caring for an innocent young babe, then his emotional scars would be healed and he could find fulfillment outside of that pesky “saving the world” business.

Now, the bio-dadmight folks had it easy: they just wrote about Izuku in his toddler years playing with daddy All Might. The cuddling and tickles made sense and were very cute. But other writers faced a challenge: they wanted to keep him 14-15 so that canon events could occur... but they didn’t want to be left out of the fun. 

So... they decided to rationalize and egg each other on. I mean, how much does age really matter? Being a child at heart is always cute and wholesome, right?

Suddenly, a whole lot of very uncomfortable things began to make sense:

So Much Physical Contact

He loved the physical touch. It was embarrassing and he would never admit it out loud, but there wasn’t much in this world he loved more than receiving physical affection from his idol. Every single time it happened he would save the memory to replay it over and over again whenever he felt sad, or almost every night before he went to bed. He was glad no one in the dorms had a mind-reading quirk. And All Might always gave it more freely when he visited his apartment, so of course he went there.

Izuku is often written to have a near-pathological craving for hair stroking and cuddles. Which is cute when directed at, say, classmates or mom, but gets real weird real fast when directed at the adult man he canonically idolizes to a freakish degree. Ever work with teenage boys? Most of them would rather die than be physically affectionate with adults, even parents... unless, you know, they’re that kind of fanboy.

Even freakier is that the grown adult would then reply, “Hell yeah! I see nothing wrong with getting physical with this kid who worships me! I crave it so much! I can't resist!” Ever work at a school? They have rulebooks and seminars specifically about how teachers should never touch or be alone with kids.

Then again, Midnight exists at this school. Maybe U.A.’s infamous lack of safety standards extends to this too.

Either way, though: cute and wholesome for a parent to do with their three-year-old. Very creepy when a high-school teacher makes excuses about why he really needs to cuddle and stroke his fifteen-year-old student in secret.

Narcolepsy Xtreme Edition

His student was never this affectionate or vulnerable when he was conscious, so he enjoyed the moment, even if it was a short one, as he moved to his room upstairs.

If you’ve read fanfiction for more than seven seconds, you’ve probably seen the “cram the character with booze/painkillers until they blurt out Vulnerable Things” plot device. It’s a beloved classic. But Izuku writers are robbed of the alcohol angle since he’s underage, and morphine is pretty niche. So authors who want to use this trick often just make Izuku tired after a long day, conclude that being sleepy is close enough to being five drinks in, and have him murmur “thanks, DAD... OOPS DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD???” to awkwardly segue into Familial Confessions.

But quite a few stories took the “sleepy” angle to a new, very odd place. Instead of groggily dispensing convenient confessions, Izuku would just... keel over while doing homework and be utterly dead to the world. And instead of having All Might briefly rouse him to shoo him to bed, or worry about his student suddenly becoming catatonic, the writers would make him eerily fixated on the opportunity to physically carry Izuku to his bedroom (which would somehow not wake him up!!!) and tuck him in while waxing poetic about how vulnerable and helpless he looked. 

Before joining the Dadmight server, I was mildly alarmed whenever I saw this, wondering why so many authors were obsessed with roofying the teenager and making the adult fondle him. But after joining, I realized: they were just trying to act out the cutesy aww-the-two-year-old-fell-sound-asleep-while-playing, it’s-so-cute scenes that all those darned lucky bio-dadmight people got to indulge in so easily.

Bed Sharing

It wasn’t long before Izuku’s breathing slowed, and soon he was asleep, snoring peacefully. Toshinori, after a few minutes of debating with himself, said screw it and got into the bed with the boy.

Cue me SCREAMING internally in confusion and fear. But no, it was just that the cutesy-kid-trope obsession stretched all the way to “Well, I used to snuggle with my parents at night after I had a nightmare! It was super wholesome!” Which led to scores of stories featuring a celebrity crawling into bed with his student.

All in all, joining this server was a huge relief. I was so glad to see that these hair-raising scenarios were just the result of the authors forgetting to mention “Oh, by the way, the characters are acting weird because we made them all agree to participate in preschooler roleplay.”

Just picture this while reading and it all makes sense.

Fanfic is uniquely susceptible to this sort of “forgot to mention this strange dynamic that I take for granted” issue. After all, 99% of fanfic doesn’t bother to waste time asking “would this make any sense to someone who had never watched the show?” It’s not worth it to focus on such a broad audience. As a result, fanfic normalizes skipping huge swaths of context that would normally be mandatory in a story. Fanfic authors don’t have to practice asking themselves “did I explain this properly?” anywhere near as often as original fiction ones.

This would be bad enough on its own, but then, we go cloister ourselves away into little sub-fandom echo chambers, and spend months crafting obscure in-joke fractals, and get so absorbed in our tiny myopic corners of the community that we also fail to ask, “would this make any sense to someone who hasn’t spent the last 5 months marinating in this specific Discord channel?” 

Sometimes we know exactly how niche our stuff is and just don’t care. But too often, we just legitimately suck at guessing how our work might come off to other groups. We don’t have to practice theory of mind as much as original fiction authors do. Our fandom buddies see nothing amiss with our writing (since they know all the server insider lore!) and everyone outside our tiny clique politely ignores our word salad... so we never get proper feedback on how incomprehensible our work can be even to other members of the same fandom.

In this case, this resulted in a whole pack of writers seemingly getting lost in the fluff sauce and completely forgetting to address the fact that the stuff men do with their own five-year-olds generally becomes really weird and creepy when done with someone else’s 15-year-old, whether or not the 15-year-old seems to want it. Izuku was a cute widdle innocent baby in their heads, so they assumed he was a cute widdle innocent baby in everyone else's.

Once I realized where they were coming from, it wasn't so hard to adjust my mental framework and enjoy these stories on their own terms. That said... infantilization still couldn't explain stuff like “What if Toshinori has read all of this wrong and the boy has no feelings above Toshinori being his teacher, and all Toshinori has done is fall harder and harder for him every day?”

To explain why that paragraph makes me want to crawl out of my skin, we first need to answer: what makes a piece of writing feel “questionable?”

“Vibes,” A Primer

Love comes in many forms. The big four are platonic, familial, romantic, and sexual. Sexual is easy: you’re horny for the person. Platonic love is specifically non-sexual, and familial love is a subset of platonic love. Romance usually implies horny, though there’s definitely a difference between outright sexual behavior and the behavior we file under the “romance” label.

There’s also a difference between romantic and platonic behavior. And this is where a lot of “questionable” vibes appear: when you’d expect an interaction between two people to be platonic, but for some reason, it has uncomfortable romantic/sexual overtones instead.

But what causes those overtones? A dad can give his kid a kiss on the head, and it comes off platonic. A suitor can give their crush a kiss on the head, and it comes off romantic. In fact, most romantic gestures have nearly identical platonic counterparts. Kissing, hugging, hand-holding, cuddling, vulnerable confessions. So what gives? What makes something “come off” one way or the other?

The actual answer is: a ton of stuff, most of it subjective. Everyone draws their lines in different places, based on culture and personal experience and how gutterbrained you’re feeling on any given day. A lot of it has to do with context (that thing that us fanfic authors are notoriously bad at judging).

Online wars are fought every day about whether some glance or gesture or phrase means they're "totally into each other fr"

But if you want to draw broad strokes, one way to roughly separate platonic vs romantic love is by gauging the level of passion involved. “Passion” is “a strong and barely controllable emotion that compels action.” That last part is key. 

Stereotypical romantic love is incredibly passionate. It’s all about desire to act, desire to change, desire to progress the relationship to something more. It features overwhelming anxious preoccupation about the other person’s thoughts and opinions, feeling irresistibly drawn to them, feeling intense longing. It’s about confessing and hoping the other person also feels the same. It often involves attempting to label the relationship, make it “official”, and show it off. It’s about trying desperately to secure assurance that this love will last forever and ever. You have to do something, and every moment spent not doing something is torture.

Contrast this to typical depictions of platonic and familial love. Familial love is calm, encompassing, soothing. It’s secure. You don’t have to worry, because no matter what rough patches you go through, they’ll always be your family and will always have unconditional love for you. Yes, you’ll fly into action if your loved one is threatened, but at rest, platonic love is generally not “exciting” and there’s generally little sense of urgency.

Romance is usually an insecure, anxious thing that’s trying to get to that secure, grounded familial stage. That’s why people say they progress from being “in love” to just “loving” one another. Romance draws people together and kickstarts the bonding process. And as the steady, mature bond of a long-term relationship forms, the obsessive mania of romantic infatuation fades away. 

So the difference between platonic and romantic behavior is not so much about the actual actions. It’s more about the mentality. Is the person anxiously trying to secure their partner’s affection while treating the relationship as a really big deal that will make or break their lives? Then their affectionate actions may come off more romantic. Are they seemingly at home in their partner’s presence and not trying to deepen or change the relationship? Then their affection will probably come off more familial or platonic.

There are, of course, a ton of things that go into it besides this, and caveats out the ass. For example, people trying to establish a new friendship are often anxious too. But when it comes to determining the “vibes” of a kiss or a cuddle, this can be a useful litmus test. Failing this test is often what makes something feel Questionable. The characters seem too invested... maybe because it's not truly innocent.

Now, let’s take a look at our Dadmight characters.

The biggest challenge of writing familial closeness between Izuku and All Might is simple: they are not family. They have no long shared history to justify any sort of intimacy. Instead they have a teacher/student relationship that places them both into rigid, frigid roles. 

Usually, familial-style bonding just takes time. You wait a few seasons, the characters slowly get closer and learn to trust one another, and eventually they’re hugging. But these two clowns spent the whole show being the ultimate found-family blue-balls experience. They were just never very emotionally open or touchy-feely. Every time they had the chance for Vulnerable Conversation And Cuddles, they passed it up in favor of a pep talk and a fist bump. It took a near-death experience to extract one (1) brief hug and some tears. But in normal everyday life? Arm’s length.

Literally. For example: after five seasons of bonding and character development, they are separated and Izuku is embroiled in a deadly conflict that almost destroys the world. When they finally reunite after the harrowing ordeal, alone under the starlight, they greet each other with a loving, heartfelt… handshake. This, predictably, spawned furious fix-it fic.

Overall, there is a huge gulf that authors need to cross in order to get these two from “polite handshake” to “tender cuddling and kisses.” They could write 50,000 words of setup to slowly accomplish this, but most authors did not want to wear their fingertips to the bone just to inch these two into an embrace. They wanted to jump the gap within a oneshot, leaping from canon frigidity into an unbreakable lifelong familial love that was also super touchy-feely and extremely vocal.

Now, remember what I was just saying? How romance is generally about trying to establish new family bonds? How it’s all about trying to change the relationship into something more?

Knowing all this, what do you think might happen if an author tried to speedrun two characters to the Family Finish Line as fast as they could? What do you think their shortcuts might end up looking like, completely by accident? Especially if their “sane and appropriate human interactions” gauge was warped by an echo chamber of fluff tropes and baby fever?

You might get:

Was it even possible that his feelings could be reciprocated? Toshinori didn’t want to think about it. It would just pain him more. Young Midoriya only saw him as an idol, a mentor who would help him train his body for One for All. Midoriya did not see him in the way he wanted him to.

Or:

He wanted desperately, desperately to have the courage to cross that threshold, to ask him what he longed for, to ask him for that relationship that he dared not voice.

Or even:

Toshinori feels his heart rate pick up and his gnarled stomach twist with nerves. Is he really going to do this? Is he going to tell this boy what he truly thinks and risk everything they’ve built up together over the past year-plus? His palms are sweating and he wipes them on his suit pants, rubbing the pads of his fingers together.

I'll stop now. The point is that these quotes could all have been word-for-word ripped from a romance novel. These are some industrial-grade Questionable Vibes. And reading them in context really doesn't help that much, for me at least. It's almost comical when they throw in "...I crave the touch of your rough hands as a son! A SON!"

If you know the building blocks of romance, it makes perfect sense why stories like this could come off this way. Platonic love is great, but it’s also stable, calm, and slow. It simply doesn’t have the sheer explosive force needed to catapult two stilted dorks into a brand-new dynamic within 2,000 words. Most stories can only achieve that kind of mileage via near-death experiences... or by inflicting the characters with neurotic infatuation.

Not only that, but their canon relationship is uniquely poised to set off romance-adjacent warning bells. Because they are not actually family, it makes sense for them to yearn for a deeper relationship in a way that a normal family wouldn’t. It makes sense for them to be anxious and insecure about their relationship, because it’s a very strange, hard-to-define thing that has to be kept secret from those around them. And it makes sense for them to consider their relationship a huge deal, because in canon, it’s fundamental to the most important aspects of both their lives.

I actually think it’s kind of inevitable that their character dynamic will sometimes stray into places that feel romantic. But that doesn’t mean the writer is a secret shipper... because I don’t think that passion always has to imply sexual desire, especially in fiction.

I’ve spent some time around the asexuality community, and my biggest takeaway was that sexual desire is very different from the desire to make deep, lifelong connections. Most asexual people still yearned to find that special someone, their anchor, a partner who unconditionally loved them and would stay by their side forever. Family. They would fall for people... they just didn’t want to fall into their pants. But it was almost impossible to keep these partners unless they were asexual too. Every one eventually pushed to “take things further,” or they left to find another person who would. 

So I can understand the yearning for a world where sex is kicked to the curb, where two strangers can find each other and share intense, whirlwind, “you’re my #1” love... without any lewd overtones. This little pocket of stories seemed like a manifestation of that yearning. 

Nowadays, more and more stories are taking previously romance-exclusive intimacy and yanking off the sexual baggage. For example, looking on the Dadmight tag will reveal “platonic soulmates” and “platonic hanahaki” stories. Yes, platonic hanahaki. No, not parody. There’s a clear unironic market for this content. People really want to be able to indulge in passionate, “till death do us part” emotional bonding in a safe, nonsexual way.

All Might and Izuku sit in a unique place. Not related, but powerfully linked by something thicker than blood. And their relationship is easy to paint as “safe”. It makes perfect sense that these two would attract creators who want to explore this hard-to-define chaste side of passionate love.

In real life, passionate obsessive-style attraction between adults and kids is a huge red flag. We can never really know whether those feelings are innocent or healthy. 99% of the time, they’re not. But in fiction, the author gets to choose what people really feel and whether things turn out well. They can explore the most unbelievable scenario of all: not a world where everyone is a mermaid, but a world where it’s actually wholesome and healing for a high school teacher and his student to confess their deep, undying love for one another, where a famous celebrity can secretly invite his obsessed underage fan over, stroke his hair, tell him how special their relationship is, and sleep with him in bed, without it ending up on Law and Order: SVU. 

On Critique

“Hap,” you might be thinking, “surely these stories can’t be as bad as you say. If they were, someone would have pointed it out to these poor souls. You should have pointed it out to these poor souls. You were in their writing server for chrissakes, and now you’re gossiping about them like a heartless goblin.”

First: yes, I'm a goblin. Second: I did bring this topic up to several Dadmight authors one-on-one. After getting a bunch of head-in-sand excuses in response, I decided to just quietly munch popcorn and watch the fandom’s antics unfold like a slow-motion train wreck.

Third: people did try to point this stuff out.

It was fascinating to watch the Dadmight server whenever someone posted a comment expressing concern. Some comments were trolls trying to get a reaction, of course. But others were very gentle: “hey, isn't it kind of weird to have them hop into bed together? It comes off kind of shippy...” I learned that the reason I had never seen comments like these in the past was because they were usually quickly deleted by the fic authors.

After deleting a comment, the author would often flee to the server for reassurance. The other users would agree that the commenter was definitely in the wrong, since they could see absolutely nothing questionable about the writer’s story. Someone would inevitably chime in saying that, oh, one time they got a comment calling things questionable like that, and it turned out to be from a shipper who shipped bad things. So, you know, anyone who sees shipping in things is probably just a bad person.

Phew. Crisis averted. If you can successfully paint the critic as a bad person, then there’s no need to descend into existentialist dread as you’re forced to critically reexamine the foundational concepts of your writing and your grasp on relationship dynamics.

(Credit where credit is due: one of the rules of this particular server was not to bash or insult people who like things you don't like. In most groups this is followed with an unspoken "...unless you can clutch your pearls over it", but to my surprise, when stuff like the above started kicking off, the moderators did step in to remind people to keep it civil. So, good job, mods. More maturity than I usually see in online spaces.)

But still, if anyone actually bothers to read this long screed, I already know what certain responses are going to look like. They’ll smugly assert that people who see questionable things are just sex-obsessed weirdos, projecting their icky lewd thoughts onto every innocent interaction they come across. A morally pure person wouldn’t make such gross assumptions.

I’m familiar with this kind of response because I’ve spent a lot of time around another group that responds the exact same way to these kinds of concerns. That group is known as fundamentalist Christians, and their attitude fosters three things:

People are afraid to speak out when they feel uncomfortable, because they don't want to be accused of being dirty-minded. 

People fail to learn the ground rules of normal romance/sexuality and so fail to recognize red flags.

The community is absolutely infested with creeps who take advantage of points 1 and 2 to run rampant.

Sadly, these three things also seem to be true in the Dadmight community. Being a platonic pairing, it naturally attracts people uninterested in and inexperienced with romantic/sexual relationships. And then the vitriolic, derisive responses to people’s concerns teaches them that it’s wrong to bring up those topics around the community at all.

And so, point 3 blooms. I eventually confirmed that my initial suspicions were correct: shippers did camp in the Dadmight tag, and they got away with posting some impressively brazen softcore underage content in public, presumably because even the people who were suspicious knew that going “hey now” would trigger a circular firing squad. 

The Dadmight community wasn’t clueless about this problem. They were incredibly paranoid as a whole. They knew there were bad actors lurking in their tag, but since they had disabled all their own safety alarms and expanded the definition of “platonic” to a ridiculous extreme, they had no way of being able to determine what was shipping and what was not until characters started actively whipping their dicks out. I saw constant fretting over whether it was okay to click the “like” button on an affectionate-looking piece of fanart without knowing for sure the intentions of the creator. But asking intentions was pointless anyway, since shippers just lied to them and then laughed as the platonic group eagerly ate up their evil, dirty-minded content.

I get why these “wait, that feels shippy...” comments feel like attacks. It’s fucking awful when your intentions are pure but someone interprets them in such a horrifying, disgusting way. It feels disrespectful when you clearly label something “platonic” but people still doubt. 

But remember: Going from “mentor” to “dad” with these two generally means breaking down normal boundaries, to escalate the emotional and physical intimacy between an authority figure and a starstruck, needy, vulnerable kid, because they have such a special and unique bond that no one else understands. So special, in fact, that it needs to be kept secret from the public.

In real life, this scenario is known as Groomer Tactics 101. 

Seriously, stop and read that link. It’s short and non-explicit. This is why I called their canon relationship “impressively alarming”—the bullet points of stages 1-3 describe Izuku and All Might nearly word-for-word. This does not mean I’m claiming All Might is a groomer, or that Izuku and All Might’s relationship is bad. Just that, due to their circumstances, they happen to have all the building blocks of relationships that go horribly wrong. All that separates their scenario from tumbling into Bad is the goals of the adult. So when a fanfic then comes along and makes the adult suddenly really interested in excessive touching? And the only reason he gives is “I’m weirdly drawn to this kid and touching them feels really good”? Of course people will get nervous!

Noticing this does not mean someone is “obsessed with shipping”. It means they’re a normal human being with eyes. Accusing someone of being problematic for making the most obvious possible observations about adult/child interactions is like accusing someone of being an arsonist because they embarrassed you by pointing out that your homemade backyard fireworks setup is halfassed and dangerous.

This does not mean it’s wrong to write wish-fulfillment where escalating to bed cuddles actually turns out great and awesome. But it does mean that, if an author writes it ignorantly or carelessly, they risk coming off like they’re glorifying and normalizing Groomer Tactics 101. It’s the same as when careless Twilight fans glorify and normalize stuff that, in real life, is abusive controlling boyfriend behavior.

Yes, it sucks when people come and yuck the yum. I’m sure the Twilight fans also get sick of people who complain and demonize them instead of letting them write their vampire boyfriend fantasies in peace. But the concern usually comes from a well-meaning place. 

Proudly announcing “I ignore the most basic child/adult red flags because they ruin my fun” is not the flex that some people think it is. I highly recommend people reconsider before they try to paint anti-child-groomers as the bad guys.

The Recipe

So, let’s summarize how to reproduce the Dadmight phenomenon. It starts with a canon relationship that has the most enticing found-family building blocks the world has ever seen: a downtrodden kid who really needs a dad + a lonely heroic mentor. However, their canon relationship also sits on top of a powder keg, coincidentally featuring all the “setup” stages of the sexual grooming model: 

a lonely, low-self-esteem kid

singled out by an esteemed, charismatic adult who is a pillar of the community

sharing a “special” relationship

constantly going off alone and keeping secrets 

A platonic fan community forms that is blissfully unaware of the above dynamics. They head off to fluff echo chambers, as platonic fans do. But due to the crybaby tendencies of the teenage character, they start projecting really aged-down toddler-play scenarios onto him. Eventually, as echo-chambered fans do, they decide that contextualization is for chumps. This results in fics that take the powder keg and add:

The adult craving to touch and hold the teenager

The teenager craving touch from the adult and mewling like a kitten when his hair is stroked (I’m not fucking joking)

Completely age-inappropriate stuff like stroking, kisses, and sharing a bed with a teenage student

Izuku and All Might also happen to suffer from loneliness and isolation, even more so in their fanon incarnations. This really resonates with most fans, who want to soothe and heal them. They also want to get to the healing cuddles within a few chapters instead of wasting time on super-slow buildup. So they make the two of them really strongly fixate on and angst about the agony of their loneliness, and how the other person’s love is the only cure that will fix them. In doing so, they insert:

Anxious passionate obsession

Love confessions

Coming-out scenes

Craving for exclusive relationship labels

Desire for exclusivity

Lastly, because platonic groups are either uninterested in or too young for spicy content, they tend to have very little experience with romantic/sexual literature and the tropes and catchphrases they lay claim to. So fic writers will innocently sprinkle in poignant-sounding things they’ve picked up here and there, such as:

Blushing and heart racing when looking at the person

The phrase “falling for each other”

The man “caressing” his partner with “rough hands”

“He came undone”

And because their communities condemn people who “read into things”, nobody points out any of this shit, and it all slides out into the public Internet unquestioned.

And so, we get the most impressively uncomfortable platonic content I’ve ever seen. It’s no wonder I had never encountered something like this before. It required a lot of unusual circumstances intersecting in just the right (wrong) way.

In the end, I think the biggest aspect was just that I'd never become a fan of characters that had such a potentially-problematic canon relationship. Usually adult and kid characters have very different dynamics, so if fics treat their social interactions with all the tact of a bull in a china shop, it just comes off as lazy instead of creepy. I'd be interested to know if other platonic adult&child fandoms suffer from this issue.

In any case, although it was fascinating to watch, I sure hope I never run into it again.

[hybbart]

Hi! I absolutely adore your work, I was wondering if you have any advice on getting your ideas and au's out there? Sometimes it feels like no matter how much you post/try to connect with others it's impossible for any posts to break out of the little tumblr interaction bubble

Well, I'm not really the person to ask this, cause any popularity I have at any point is almost entirely dependant on my current hyperfixation, and I'm not one to care much about it.

Mostly I have a good enough appealing and safe art style and good enough sense of humour that's easy for people to like even if they don't especially care about the content, and draw often enough that I don't get forgotten.

My current stuff is fanworks, which have a built in audience, so you're always going to be seen as long as you tag it properly. Especially if you're actively participating in the fandom. I also have the benefit of being obsessed with a rather popular duo like ranchers.

Basically, the notes I get are very predictable and temporary, and not really based on any intentional work. I'm good enough for casual followers to pay attention to as long as it's stuff they recognize. I'd say like 80% of my notes are from casual engagement who aren't really going to do much besides a like and maybe reblog just because they were told they have to reblog artists or they're using the site wrong.

I guess what I mean to say is, having those notes is nice and appreciated but at the end of the day I also have a pretty small little bubble. There's just a wall of passers-by around it making it seem bigger than it actually is. It very quickly dissipates when I draw anything out of the ordinary that I can't put a bunch of popular tags on. So, I'm not really the person to ask about that sort of thing.

That said, I guess all that might sound a bit cynical to most people even though it isn't meant to be, so I guess some actual tips might be in order.

Skill. Art's about communication and expression, which like anything is better done with a larger toolkit and knowledge. And also especially casual engagement just enjoys things of higher quality. Raw ideas aren't usually enough to get people to understand or care unless they care about you. To be blunt, sometimes people just aren't good enough or are too niche for a general audience. That's nothing to be self-conscious or miserable about, it's just something you have to be self-aware about enough to accept that you're not gonna attract people who aren't invested in you. If that's something you want to change by becoming better then you have to intentionally do so, talent is a lie.

Passion. It's obvious when your heart isn't in it regardless of skill level because art is about communication. And passion's what drives us to do better, it's hard to develop and spend time on work you don't really want to do. If you're enthusiastic other people will be more likely to join you in your enthusiasm. If you don't care or are burnt out people will notice. If you're doing things just to get attention people will notice. You have to want to create what you're creating.

Good ideas. To be blunt a good idea that interests people is just going to be more popular than a bad one that doesn't. Sometimes something that interests you doesn't interest a lot of other people, that's why you gotta make peace with caring more about quality interaction over quantity, and being more self-aware.

Making friends. Finding people who are as enthusiastic as you about something is going to go a long way, and people who aren't as enthusiastic are more likely to become enthusiastic or support you if you're friends and you can annoy them in their DMs with 3 hour tangents about your favourite thing. Honestly once you have someone you can do this to you stop caring about the other stuff. Art's about communication, like I said. Participating in events is a great way to make friends, but so is just reaching out to people you like.

Being friendly. This one's pretty simple. If you're a dick people aren't going to take the time to get invested in your project even if it interests them.

Being accessible. This covers anything from literal accessibility to having clean directories and tags, to anchoring/themed extra engagement. 'Do you have any questions about [character]' is going to get more engagement than 'feel free to ask me anything about my au' even if there's less questions to ask because it's less broad and puts less of a burden on the asker to come up with a prompt. It's easier to be broader later on when you have already put out a lot of information and people are more invested.

Being concise: Basically very few people are going to read this goliath of a post compared to a short, information dense, clear post. When I post art I try to avoid too much text, because I want the art to be the focus of the post. When I post writing I put it under a cut so it doesn't consume someone's dash and write something clearer above. The reason writing is going to get less engagement is because it takes more time and effort to engage with than a picture. People who aren't already invested aren't going to sift through 10 paragraphs of loose info. This goes for art, too. One piece is going to catch the eye easier than 10 unrelated sketches or a long form comic. This doesn't mean don't make this content, but be smarter about how you present it to take into account how it engages people.

Tagging things. Don't abuse tags or put irrelevant tags, but finding out what tags are frequented that apply to your art helps. There is definitely still an inconsistent limit of tags that tumblr's search actually pays attention to, so put the most important ones first. I usually put warnings first and foremost and put personal categorization tags last. Being consistent with tags lets people find stuff on your blog easier and makes you show up in a search more frequently, so you're easier to find for people who use tumblr in different ways.

Time of day. This one's finicky to figure out and can change but if you post when there's more people online... well, more people are likely to see it. Apparently other people follow like hundreds or even thousands of blogs and don't even look at everything on their dash, so for those types of people posts might as well not exist unless it's at the top of their dash. This also helps when popping up in more popular tags' most recent when people are actually looking them up. This doesn't affect posts as much as people think but it does enough to be visible. I frequently post things at like 1 am when no one's on so it doesn't get notes until later on and through notifications.

anyways, i hope something in there helps. If not, well... crap.

[olasketches]

jjk reflection time

this is NOT going to be a post where I criticise what went well and what wrong in the manga and honestly… there won’t be any post like that from me in the future either. I am aware of jjk’s flaws and other people are also aware of jjk’s flaws and whatever people decide to do with that knowledge is completely up to them. I personally really enjoyed the manga and I totally understand if others didn’t and find it rather unsatisfying and disappointing. Their reasons are more than valid and understandable. I'm making this post cause I actually find the fandom to be more irritating than anything gege ever gave us or did. I’m not even going to be ranting about this fandoms biggest issues, I just wanted to share my own thoughts and feelings about the story and its characters… that may not be really popular but we’ll see. If I accidentally end up offending one of my moots then know that I’m so sorry and I love you, pls forgive me.

my number one favourite was… and still is sowyyy…  sukuna, then yuuji joined and then megumi… and nothing much changed here tbh

I love these characters but for completely different reasons than (most of) the fandom does

I love sukuna’s confidence, overwhelming sense of self and the way he carried himself like a royalty. I really appreciate his god-like persona and religious symbolism or how he always respected his opponents (altho I do love that specific trait of his very much tbh) but that's not the reason why I ended up loving him. I love him because he's a messy petty bitch and the fact that he always had a problem with yuuji (someone called it a yuuji complex on the cursed app and they were totally spot on with that) made his character even more compelling and dynamic because it contradicted everything people known him as. it humanised him, is what I’m trying to say and for that reason I’ve never seen him as a curse or a god… to me he was not only a huge asshole who had a beef with a teenager but also… just a little human who tried to act like he was anything but.

yuuji… ahhh yuuji yuuji yuuji.. he's cute and all and he got hurt.. a lot..and he didn't want to be alone.. when he dies ig?? but honestly I’ve never cared for any of that. none of those things made me care or love him in the end. there are plenty of cute and sunshine boys who got lots of trauma on their backs… but none of them are yuuji. No, what made me really love yuuji is his unwavering determination and ability to endure the worst of the worst AND still hold onto his core values. yuuji is kind and compassionate but NOT out of naiveness… god I hate when people potray his good nature as his default behaviour… because he doesn’t know any better… it's really saddening when he’s being reduce to his sunshine, nice boy persona because he’s wayyyy more than that. yuuji is not kind and compassionate because he doesn’t know any better… during the course of the manga he had to fight against everything the jujutsu world threw at him and try to make him believe in. A lot of jujutsu society's values defied everything yuuji believed in and tried to shape him into something he could never be… a cog. a mindless cog who does and kills whatever he is told to and doesn’t see people and the world for its complexity and greyness. he had to fight for his ideas while fighting against his own hatred, guilt and resentment.. so plssss can we stop downplaying yuuji’s kindness and treating is as his weakness and core of his naivety?? please?? cause yuuji may be naive in some ways but his compassion and kindness is NOT one of those things. thank you. let’s move on.

megumi. listen I loved all those megumi corruption or (my personal favourite) distillation theories. I loved them I was totally behind them. And nowwww it really may seem like gege didn’t deliver with megumi’s character… which is completely understandable and a valid point to make, cause… yeah?? I see you, but I feel like none of us ever considered that this boy…. is just really fucking tired. he probably didn't get a once of good night sleep since gojo sent him on that mission to retreat that finger. he’s been on high alert since god knows how long and trying to act as the responsible adult he definitely isn’t and never has been… he’s still a kid goddamnit. So you know, I get that megumi just doesn’t have it in him anymore…….. AS IN ENERGY lol. I mean boy is most likely still depressed, has gone through the most traumatic experience in his life and endured more than anyone else ever should have to in multiple lifetimes. HE HAD IT THE W O R S T LETS BE REAL RIGHT NOW. send that boy to bed and give him plenty of time to replenish cause his own battery percentage is at all times LOW… and tbh it might take a really long time for him to learn how to be a person again… how to be just megumi. someone he’s never had a real chance to be, until now.

this is not the part where I offend people (I think) more thoughts on other characters might come.. later… as a part two of this post. for now I just needed to rant a bit about my top 3 most beloved characters :]

[storm-angel989]

Hello! I don’t know if this makes sense or not, but I was wondering if you could do Valentino’s child meeting Lucifer? She doesn’t really like him or isn’t comfortable around him though. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense!

(btw, I really love your work! It really brings back a lot of past experiences in a good way and that it is mixed with my fav fandom is even better! Keep the work up! 🩷)

Hi there,

Apologies for the delay. On a personal note, there was a death in my immediate family and I’ve been….really thrown off, to put it lightly. Tonight was the first night since it all began that I was able to sort of sit and write. Hug your loved ones a little extra tonight and remember to treat all those who come across your path with kindness and grace. You never know what battle they might be fighting, and a smile costs nothing to give.

As far as the story, think Reader from OTO. As always, feedback is appreciated!

<3 Mandy

Valentino had no desire to introduce his daughter to her Great Uncle Lucifer. 

Sure, he was there when she was born. Hell, if he was being honest, his magic was probably the only reason his wife made it through the labor itself. But with the chaos of heaven and hell, two busy schedules and a plethora of arguments between Valentino and Lucifer, she hadn’t seen her Great Uncle since before she could remember. 

Nor, was she aware she had a cousin, Charlie. Someone who Valentino also couldn’t stand. Someone who, in her vain attempt at fame or whatever, had the audacity to stand in his studio and speak to him about his daughter. To dare try to convince him to get her and his wife and himself even to her piece of shit, happy go lucky hotel. 

Come to think of it, Valentino wasn’t entirely sure his wife knew about Lucifer’s daughter, Charlie. In fact, if he remembered correctly, Lucifer told his niece that he didn’t have kids. Valentino didn’t know the reason for the lie, and in all honesty, he couldn’t have cared less. All he cared about was keeping his daughter safe, and as far away from that self absorbed angelic blowhard as he possibly could. 

“No, mi amore. We are not going to go to the palace for dinner. Nor are we bringing reader,” Valentino told his wife firmly. “If you want to go, be my guest. But the only thing that man does is piss me off every single time he opens his mouth. I know you love him, and that he’s the only remaining string to any biological family you have left, but he’s a pompous, arrogant…”

“Val, you’re getting your blood pressure up for no reason,” his wife replied mildly. “It isn’t up for discussion. Uncle Lucifer invited us.” 

“I couldn’t care less. She doesn’t have a relationship with him. I don’t want to go. So we’re not going,” Valentino said firmly. “I’m not going to change my mind.” 

And yet, here he was, dressed up and in the limo as he pulled up to the palace gates. 

“Hey, I love you,” his wife whispered with a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for coming with me.”

Valentino didn’t answer. Instead, he took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze as he watched his daughter press her face to the glass window. 

“Daddy, Mommy, look!” She said excitedly, “its a castle! Like in the story books!”

Valentino listened and watched as his wife joined his daughter. He bit back a smile as he watched the two people he loved the most in the world point and giggle together at the sights. He was still irritated, of course, or at least, he had to pretend to be. But as he watched his wife and his daughter giggle together, a sense of calm washed over him. He supposed he could make it a few hours. 

His daughter cradled with one arm and his wife holding the other hand, he walked towards the front door of the oversized red and black mansion. The castle, he knew from Vox’s data, was more for show. His real house, his real home, was a much larger estate tucked quietly in the back, hidden from the common view. 

Their footsteps had no sooner hit the front steps than the two front doors flung open. 

“Reader! Valentino! And my sweet niece, welcome!” He exclaimed loudly. “Come on in, come on in, everyone is here!”

Valentino felt his daughter hide her face in his neck and he shot his wife a look. She ignored him and quickly followed behind. Valentino found himself a quieter part of the room and stood as he surveyed the room with distaste. Royalty from across the seven rings of hell mingled, laughing and drinking as they socialized. It was all Valentino could do to keep his focus on his daughter, rather than his disgust at the scene in front of him. 

“Well, well who do we have here?” Lucifer’s voice broke across the party. 

Valentino turned as Lucifer seemed to streak across the room. “Ah, Valentino, let me see my sweet little niece! She is the cutest, I bet she is!”

Lucifer outstretched his arms and Valentino felt his daughter's grip tighten and her face burry harder into his neck as she shook her head no.

“She’s afraid of strangers, Lucifer,” Valentino told his father in law firmly.

“Aw, but I’m not a stranger, I’m her Uncle! Come here little one, come give Uncle Lucy a hug!” Lucifer pushed. 

Valentino could feel the frustration rise in his throat. He swallowed back the annoyance, and any smidge of loyalty he might have felt to Lucifer vanished. 

“She said no. Do you understand the meaning of the word? If not, I think we have a book in the diaper bag you can review.” Valentino said coldly.

Anger and embarrassment crossed Lucifer’s face. He opened his mouth to protest, but his Reader grabbed his arm. She flashed a look Valentino couldn’t quite read. 

“Dad! Come here, Auntie Ethea is here and she’s just dying to see you!”

Quick as a flash, Lucifer darted across the room. Reader slid up to his side and leaned on his shoulder. 

“I made an excuse to leave. You ready?”

Was Valentino ever. As soon as they were safely back in the car, he looked to his wife.

“How did you end up so different? So….”

“My father was military. My mother wasn’t there. This lifestyle wasn’t anywhere close to what I was raised in.” Her voice lowered and she leaned into kiss his cheek. “Good job standing up for our daughter. I love you, Val.”

Valentino gave her a soft kiss in return. “Always.”

[hyperfixat]

Will you write hsr sagau thing again?

[og post] maybe.

i already had something in the works when i posted that, regarding a self aware au — more on the isekai side though. it’s on the large side and going to be multi chaptered, so more of my focus is going there

i’m glad people like the post, but i don’t really know what i would add to make another part. if you (anon and those seeing this) have any ideas you’d like to see, i could certainly try and make another part

also the aeons are hard to remember and characterize seeing as we see so little of them in the game and stuff, so it’d definitely have to be more on the top express’ redemption arc lol

i’ll add the fandom tags in case someone not following me knows of the post and wants to join this discussion. also again shout out to @suiana for letting me use the idea they made

[punkeropercyjackson]

Is the Pjo fandom aware that Percy is like.......actually not a normal person.Not the demigod thing,i mean he's neurodivergent and has mental illnesses from trauma so his set of beliefs,thoughts,onward actions and tastes are completely different from society's ideals and norms.It's not like he acts the way he does as a joke or to look cool,it's kinda a big thing he can't stop acting like himself no matter what???It gives him self-eestem issues but it really is for the better for everyone involved because it makes him an actual role model for irl troubled kids who got to read him grow all the way up until adulthood alongside us and him never masking being potrayed as what made him the best and realest hero in the whole franchise

He's never been tempted to join the gods and talks shit to them because he has no interest in power and they're child abusers who run an oppressive system,not because he's a BAMF and 'sassy'.He dosen't try to cover up his 'sensitive' and 'soft' emotions because he thinks they're stupid,it's a defense mechanism from growing up with an abusive stepdad,ableist bullies and teachers and a society that expects peak masculinity from him despite his desire for femininity instead and there's a reason why almost all his friends in the og series were girls and he insults other guys based on being too manly

Related to that,her complete lack of romantic interest in Nico wasn't because she's 'a tragically straight boy' but because she's A)At least only partially a man(transfem bigender)and he's gay and B)Too old for him and has some damn decency so she loves and treats him like her little brother and pseudo-son instead and she shouldn't be expected to return his feelings,much less be called a bad person for not,when she never fucking said she likes him or flirted with him and he loves her as his older sister/brother and sees her as mom/dad back and she also proceeds to do the same with Hazel within ONE book of knowing her since she's in the same parental situation as Nico and she used to take care of Tyson before he moved in with Poseidon and of Bianca as well before she died

Her loving and dating Rachel at one point wasn't 'toxic' or 'unrealistic' or especially not 'one-sided',they were just two teenagers finding solace in eachother due to similar experiences and being happy to indulge in the other's interests to the point where it became some of their's too and y'all deserve to get smacked upside the head for having the AUDACITY to make fun of her when Percy was all over her and Jason more than he was Book!Annabeth's little femcel ass(not you Leahbeth,never you Leahbeth)and erase her to say 'Percy's type is blondes' as if any actual punk like Percy would be into someone because they live up to traditional standards and when she hates 2/5 of the blondes y'all are talking about(Luke and Apollo)and her demisexual ass barely knows 1/5 of them,them also having an actual canon bf(Magnus + Alex)

They never wanted to be normal or special,they wanted to be ACCEPTED.They're an outcast because they can't hide who they truly are even though none of what makes them different is bad but they're not this or they're so that so it can't possibly be actually good that they're the way they are and do the things they do and that's how they get treated in-universe AND by bloggers who have 'a woman's place is in the revolution' or 'Boykisser' on their theme but get squeemish at the thought of positive change or queerness that's not packaged shipping tropes.Percy Jackson's not suddenly 'the standard protagonist' instead of a staple of representation for freaks because you're a poser

[bucksdaffy]

I 100% agree with your Oliver post you made earlier. But I would love to make another point but coming from a bisexual man.

Like I said I agree with everything you said. But the only thing for me is that it’s sad it took him almost 5ish months to post something about the storyline? You could have easily posted something during pride month (yes I know it was hiatus and he was clearly off social media) but it’s sad he didn’t engage with buck Tommy fans a little more even if he didn’t know the storyline wasn’t going to last past 7x10. The storyline was introduced and he could have engaged. A lot bisexual started watching the show because of this storyline and see themselves in this storyline. So actions sometimes speak louder than words.

Again this me just ranting along. I seriously loved your post because I agree with all of it and so many valid points in it! I just hope this season he does engage more or just don’t engage with any fans stuff to make it fair.

yeah. i want to reiterate for those who haven't seen the post that i don't blame him one bit for not engaging, especially considering his past with this fandom. i believe there are plenty of possible reasons why he's not doing it, all of which i explained in my previous post. ultimately it's not his job; his job is to act, not to interact with fans on social media.

that being said, i definitely see your frustration. hell, i was frustrated myself when i saw he liked a buddie post once around the s7 finale, while still paying no mind to bucktommy. i can certainly understand why the silence during pride month could be especially disheartening. after all, this is the time when we celebrate queerness. seeing a person involved in the story who you admire not acknowledge it can definitely sting a bit. i could never blame you for feeling this way.

but i do think it says more about us than it does about oliver. why do we need his validation so much? why do we feel personally offended if he does something we don't necessarily approve of or like? why do we care so much about him telling us that he is on our side? of course, it's good to have validation, but it shouldn't be detrimental to our well-being. if we don't agree with the way he lives his life, well, it's not his problem. he shouldn't have to change just because we want him to. and as i said, i think he has many valid reasons for choosing not to engage.

and besides, why don't we hold lou to the same standard? why are we so harsh on oliver but let lou slide? he hasn't engaged with anything bucktommy since the s7 finale, including during pride month. he's also a vital part of this story. what's the difference? (just a disclaimer: this is not me trying to make light of lou's situation. i'm very well aware of the differences, although i would argue that they don't make oliver's experience any less valid).

i join you in hoping that season 8 brings about a more comfortable oliver who doesn't shy away from interacting with bucktommy content as well. or perhaps a more self-assured oliver who doesn't engage with either buddie or bucktommy stuff. and if that doesn't happen, i hope we can find peace within ourselves and stop caring about what the actors portraying these characters do on their social media. the only thing that should matter to us is the show. let's focus on that!

[illmetkismet]

Hihihi!!!!! I Hope You don’t mind yet another ask from me!!!!!!! I’ve already said this before but I absolutely adore the way you answer questions and analyse stuff, it’s such a breath of fresh air to see!!!! This is totally self-indulgent so I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do you have any personal headcannons/analysis thoughts on Luis perhaps??? It feels strange to admit but he’s a very big special interest of mine so I just wanted an excuse to hear somebody else’s thoughts on him!! I hope You’re having a good day regardless!!!!

Always happy to see an ask from you, and don't even start with the strangeness or self-indulgence of being really into or asking about Luis; just yesterday I was wondering whether I should wait for spring to get a splish splash fish ankle tattoo or just do it now and deal with an itchy ankle in my winter boots lol...

So yeah, Luis is my love my turtledove the light of my life and I would LOVE the chance to talk about him!!! He was one half of why I got into resi in the first place (serennedy had me like 'hmmmm maybe horror games are not too scary for me if they have cuties in them....'), and every time I think about him my brain does that thing where you put your head in your hands and sigh while cartoon hearts float up above you...

He's just..... So good.... And despite that, he's made SUCH shitty choices. I love how painful that is for him, but that he's got enough self awareness to understand when he fucks up. He doesn't try to blame anyone else - he faces his mistakes and his own shortcomings (pride, willful ignorance, cowardice) head on, and tries so desperately to make up for them, even as he keeps making them.

I love that he's not some perfect angel, that he hangs on to the amber and intends on handing it over to Ada at first, in exchange for getting out of Valdelobos, despite knowing full well that no good will come of that. The part in Separate Ways where he tells her he doesn't care who she works for, could be the devil himself, so long as she gets him out of there was so shocking for me to hear at first, but then I realized that's the core of his tragedy - that he's a good man trapped in a horrible situation, and he's scared, he wants out, he wants to live so badly! Unlike Leon, he's got a healthy dose of self-preservation, and honestly, if I were in his shoes I would probably make the same choices.

But still - he runs into the burning lab, he risks his life to get the suppressant to Leon, he tells Ada he won't leave her, he picks up his 'lance' and says alright, let's go rescue the princess! He's so full of regret and fear and he keeps making shitty choices, but he also keeps doing the right thing.

The way he's written and acted is so rich and nuanced. Watching him, I understand exactly where he's coming from and every single one of his choices. Out of all the characters in re4r he feels the most real to me, the most human. Every second he's on screen is a joy, even the horrible painful seconds at the end.

I wanted him to live so badly, and not just because I like him, but because he wanted to live so badly... All the re6 AU's I've seen floating around where he meets up with Leon again are among my favourite things to come out of this fandom!! I know Capcom is never gonna do that, but in my head it's canon: when Ada told the helicopter pilot to change course she actually went back for Luis, gave him a little first aid spray, and then they joined forces and lalalala everything is fine!!

Ok I'm gonna wrap it up cause if I keep talking about him I'm gonna be late for work, but thank you so much for the chance to gush!! I love Luis so much and I think about him all the time.... My sweet bisexual disaster man..... Going to his death with a smile:

Aasdghhhgddfghjkljjgdaaddghgfdffhh......

[jor-elsemissary]

Fun parallel universe. Lionel never meets Lilian. Martha never marries Jonathan.

Now how would Lionel and Martha meet?

I don't know. Martha goes to work for Lionel one day. Martha impresses Lionel with her bad bitch boss energy. Lionel not that evil because Martha has a leash around him. No Lex, Tess or any other kids because Lionel ain't cheating on Martha. They get married and ironically Martha's father approves. Lionel having enough self awareness to not be sure how he feels about that.

Does he Kill the queens? Let's say no.

Anyway Martha and Lionel find Clark together. Lionel low key laughing his ass off and when Clark is the right age. He shows off his son to his little travel group.

Lionel: EAT MY SHIT YOU RICH BITCHES!

Moira: Wait the travel just....dropped out of the sky where you happened to be at?

Lionel: YES!

Anyway Clark Luthor being best friends with Oliver Queen? I want to say yes. Let's even throw in some Bruce Wayne in there. Do they have a rivalry over Lois. Meh it's fine don't worry about it. Lois picked Clark.

*snorts* Lionel would so gloat that he found the Traveler first.

My take on how they would have met would require some age finagling. I know the fandom considers Lionel born in ‘44 based on Glover’s actual age. It never sat well with me considering how much younger Lionel looked on screen. So this is something I actually stick as my headcanons for him, Lionel is born in ‘54 which makes him 8 years older than Martha.

Lionel would have still met Lillian and married her so Lex is born, but due to her heart condition, the stress of the birth was too much and she died in childbirth. Lex never knew his mother and Lionel is finding it difficult to connect with a child he blames for his wife’s death.

He meets Martha in Metropolis University in 1984 as a guest speaker for a business course she’s attending. She’s 22 and he’s 30. He’s already a multi millionaire on his way to becoming a multi billionaire before the decade is over. She’s an aspiring lawyer with a business sense akin to his own.

Her questions intrigue him and he seeks her out after class, offering to take her to dinner. She accepts, only because a girl friend wants to hook her up with a football jock she had met (Jonathan Kent) and really isn’t looking forward to a blind date.

They find their interests align and Lionel can’t help but be amazed by the purity of goodness in this woman. It fascinates him and he wants to know more about her until he realizes he wants her in his life. Martha compliments him in the same way Lillian had and knows he needs that unbridled honesty both women had in common. Without it, he is certain to fall deeper into darkness.

Martha meets Lex and knows how to get the boy to open up to her. Lex immediately latches onto her and Lionel is relieved that Martha knows what to do with his son. He certainly did not have a clue.

After a year of dating, Lionel proposes and Martha accepts. They marry in 1986 and Lionel joins Veritas in 1987. He still tries to buy the factory and brings Lex to Smallville where they encounter the meteor shower and Kal-el.

Jonathan still finds Kal-el first since his family was meant to by Jor-el. But he’s unmarried and has no desire to adopt a random, lost child. So when Lionel Luthor offers to take the boy off his hands, Jonathan doesn’t hesitate.

Kal-el is brought home to Metropolis where Martha falls in love with him and insists on adopting the boy. Lionel suspects who he is and has no issue in indulging his wife, especially considering they have been trying for years now to have a child of their own.

He does run tests to confirm that “Clark” is indeed the Traveler and once he does, he’s quite pleased. He still wants to control the boy and had Robert and Laura Queen killed for Robert’s key. But as Clark gets older and Martha dotes on Clark and Lex, Lionel finds it harder and harder to want to control the child.

Martha is to blame, of course. Lionel loves her far too much to want to hurt her and he will if he hurts Clark. He gives in a settles for being Clark’s father until Jor-el interferes in their lives.

Pretty much the same coming of age experiences happen to Clark and those around him. Lionel is still exposed by Chloe Sullivan and is arrested and put on trial for murder. It puts to test his relationship with Martha and their children. In the end Martha stands beside him and works to get his conviction overturned.

Like before he suffers from terminal liver cancer. Like before he intended to swap places with Lex but Clark gets in the way. He and Lex did not get along despite Martha helping to raise him. Lionel still blames him for Lillian’s death.

Genevieve helps get his conviction overturned and blackmails him into helping her acquire the stone he had found while in prison.

A lot of what happens in the series still happens. She eventually becomes Senator of Kansas. He becomes Jor-el’s emissary. Clark becomes Superman and Lex helps him. Despite his father not loving him, he had at least Martha and Clark, so he doesn’t entire distrust everyone.

Lex and Clark are close knit brothers anyway. It would have to take a serious incident to break their bond.

Because Lex is in a better place mentally, he doesn’t try to murder Lionel. But he doesn’t help him when Patricia tries to blackmail his father into handing over Clark. Lionel is betrayed by Lex on this and Martha struggles to keep Lionel out of prison a second time.

He makes her keep her distance from him while she is a Senator but Martha refuses to give up on her husband. She knows that Patricia’s evidence is fabricated. She knows Genevieve had murdered Swann and in turn was killed by Lana. Jason died in the meteor shower and Lionel suspects Edward went to ground somewhere. The only one she’s not certain about are the Queens.

Morgan Edge was named once more as having arranged for the plane to have an accident. Having his name pop up again in a murder trial against her husband would make things far too difficult to win against. It doesn’t help that Patricia is found murdered either.

Lionel knows he’s going to prison a second time for something he didn’t do. He doesn’t get out of prison until a year after when Martha convinces the President to pardon him. She still tries to work in clearing his name but she’s happy he’s free and home.

Lionel decides to retire and let Lex run things, too tired from fighting with his son. He and Martha move to Washington so she can work on her career as a Senator.

Oh and they do end up with a child of their own thanks to the ship healing Martha.

[drhu0806]

26. "You were the first"

Fandom - Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous Content warnings - none Pairing - Woljif x knight commander Other notes - contains spoilers for Act 4 and beyond Summary - After concluding Woljif's affairs in Alushinyrra, he and the knight commander finally have a talk about the incident.

“What are you doing out here?”

Woljif’s tail stands straight at attention at the sound of a wonderfully familiar voice. Ollerus casually approaches him as he peers over the citadel’s walls that overlook Drezen.

“Hey, Chief! I’m just out and about, you know? What, is there a rule now saying I can’t be here?” He has to try hard to tamp down how happy he feels whenever she’s near, to dampen the burst of warmth he feels in his chest whenever they speak. He knows for the most part she can’t read his mind, but even without magic, he has a nagging feeling that she sometimes she still can, even without magic.

“No, nothing like that. I just expected to find you somewhere in the town streets, probably cooking up some mischief one way or another.”

“Well, if those are orders from the big boss commander, I’m sure I can figure something out.” He winks. “’Course, my one condition is that you have to join me.”

She laughs, a lovely, melodic sound that has something inside him softening to goo. He wishes he could make her laugh like that all the time. He’d give just about anything to do that.

“But I have a feeling that’s not what you’re here for so, what’s up? I’m always happy to lend an ear to you, Chief.”

Ollerus shifts, hesitant. “It’s been some time since we left the Abyss. We didn’t have a chance to talk about it before with everything else going on, but I was just hoping we could talk about what happened. In Alushinyrra. With your grandfather.”

His tail curls and rests close to his body, a rare indication of somberness from the normally wisecracking tiefling. In the past, if something like this ever came up, Woljif would have found any excuse to scatter to the winds. How incredulous his past self would be now, seeing him stand his ground for once, feeling little to none of the fear he would have otherwise. Even now, he almost doesn’t recognize himself.

“Uh… Yeah. Sure.”

Yet he falls silent, unsure of how to continue. Ygerfeles’s illusions had bared so much of his heart and his pain to the commander. In that exact moment, he doubted there was anyone else in the planes who knew him better than Ollerus currently does. It makes him shy, yet there’s something comforting about it at the same time.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, or at least still okay with everything,” she carefully explains. “I know right after you said you had no regrets but… I know how important your inheritance was.”

Woljif’s head cocks slightly to the side. There’s something off about all of this; he’d been resolute after his grandfather’s defeat that he didn’t mind in the slightest over rejecting his offer, a fact that’s stayed true to this very day. As far as he’s aware, he hasn’t expressed anything like dissatisfaction or regret about this, so why is she questioning it now?

In that moment, a burst of revelation happens upon him, and he feels he can see her so clearly for once.

“Chief, do you…feel guilty about what happened?”

Ollerus starts, but she makes no effort to hide it as she nods. “It felt right at the time but looking back, I wonder… I feel like I maybe pushed you into something when I shouldn’t have. It was your choice to make, after all.”

He smiles wryly and shakes his head. “I said it to ol’ Gramps, and nothing’s changed. Ollerus, you… You were the first. The first person to give me a chance, to believe in me. The first one to ever give a damn about me. It really means something, you know?”

The memory of her rushing forward and folding him in a warm embrace after Ygerfeles’s defeat comes to mind. Even though they were in the middle of a city of demons, even though they’d just undergone a thrashing from his grandfather, in that moment Woljif will never forget how safe he felt in her arms, how cherished. Any doubts, and hint of remorse over his choices were immediately dashed then, never to return. To choose an uncertain power from an entity completely unknown to him except in those last few minutes over all that? Unthinkable. He’d choose her, every single time.

“You don’t ever have to worry about it, Chief. I promise,” he vows. “You’re the smart one, after all. You made a really great case, and you were right. Taking whatever Gramps had for me was probably a whole heap of trouble waiting to happen.”

“Are you sure? That it’s something you wanted yourself?”

He can’t say he’s never wondered since then, asked himself the “what if” out of nothing more than simple curiosity. What would it have been like, to tap deeper into his heritage, to become more demonic? What kind of extra abilities would he have gained? How much stronger would he have gotten?

How much of his heart would have been lost in exchange?

It isn’t a price he’s willing to pay. Man, he really is getting soft, isn’t he?

Woljif nods, making sure to look Ollerus fully in the eyes to erase as much doubt as possible. “I’m sure. I always will be.”

Convinced by the force of his resolve, she visibly relaxes. In an attempt to lighten the mood, he playfully nudges her. “You don’t usually sweat small stuff like this, Chief. I’d swear you were losing your touch. What, my charms finally get to you and you got a crush on me or something’?”

“And what if I do?” she quips back.

They suddenly fall silent, what was realistically a brief second morphed into a slow eternity as her words hang over them. She’s the first to break the spell, fiercely shaking her head to collect herself.

“No, that’s not… Forget I said that. I was just thinking about you, that’s all.”

Both of them realize that’s not much better of an excuse, but Ollerus refuses to elaborate further. “Anyway… That’s all I needed to know. Thank you for talking to me. It does make me—I’m glad that you don’t regret your choice, at least.”

Bidding a hurried farewell, she’s quick to pivot and make her out down from the stony walls. Woljif doesn’t realize how fast his heart is beating until she’s gone, and he takes a shaky breath as his gaze returns to the sprawling streets of Drezen beneath him. As much as he knows she understands him, he’s beginning to understand her a little better in turn.

He’s really going to have to tell her, and soon.

[zhongrin]

hi!! it's me again. thank you so so much for your answer, it was very kind and well-written, and i think it definitely helped put some things into perspective for me!! also i related heavily to your whole thing about selfshipping before knowing what it was (and the mention of numerous self-indulgent fics was a direct hit augh how did u know about those /silly)

u mentioned that having friends who selfshipped helped a lot, and this is going to sound horribly juvenile, but how do you make friends in tumblr communities?? ㅠㅠ i understand it's partially a natural thing that happens when u interact with content u enjoy/the fandoms you're in but im horribly shy and everyone seems to already have friends,,, idk maybe im overthinking this hahsgsj

- sachie (if u don't mind me staying a little longer, your tea shop is very cozy!!)

nonnie sweetie you and me (and probably thousands of other people) we're all the same hsdlfjskdfj

hmhm no yeah that's a valid question, i think! naturally, it might be a little easier for fellow writers or artists to kinda 'connect 'with each other... and i'm not 100% sure what your situation is so this might not work for you? however, i think there's a mindset that people need to adopt, and that is: you need to realize that we're all just silly little humans, who just happens to like/is passionate about the same thing (fandom, character, selfshipping, etc)!!

when it comes to social media like tumblr, i like to imagine that we're all just adults in an adults' playground… showing each other the thing™️ we made or telling others about a thing™️ someone else made. just keep being yourself, be open and respectful, and interact with people! eventually you'll find someone who'll bounce back your interaction attempt with their own idea, which you can then reply to, perhaps it'll go back and forth across several topics/posts, and suddenly you might find yourself talking in their inbox/dm/discord hskdhskd

and i promise most (not all, ofc, but that's always how it is) of the writers/artists (and probably readers too. see, we're all the same silly little humans!!!) here want that interaction. we want that connection. we want that one more person to brainrot with and throw selfship ideas at each other. just try, and see where it goes! you might not click, and that's okay. you might hit it off, and that's great!! :))

oh and there's also the option of joining networks if you're a writer or artist! e.g. @/nereidsrealm, @/houseofsolisoccasum, etc. there's a lot out there! just be aware of their rules and have fun! and remember, if you get to make friends there, then great! but if not then that's okay too, don't be disheartened; it just means you just have to look somewhere else. you'll find your people eventually ᰔᩚ

also yes yes ofc!!! you're welcome to stay for as long as you like!!! :D

[spicedwatermel0n]

just dropping in to offer you some motivation, because i totally get art slumps (i just left a 3 yr long one *gasp*). if you’re feeling lost creatively but also like you’re lacking the support you need to keep going, remind yourself that art is supposed to make you happy! draw for yourself, take a break, do whatever you need to step back and view your creations less as “content” for others to consume and more as something that brings you joy to make. and if you ever feel like people don’t care about your content, who cares! post anyways! if you love what you make, people will see that and become interested, but what’s really important is that you feel fulfilled. everything you make has value, always. it’s hard getting past self-deprecation, but if you ever need motivation or want to share your ideas, my dms are open, dude👍

The issue is that I've *tried* to do this. I'm not creatively blocked or anything. A matter of fact, I haven't had art block in... Years. I have a plethora of ideas and there's always new ones I'm creating. And of course, I do enjoy art as well. Buuuuut, I've also been doing it for years only to see the same consistent thing in small fandoms: everyone else has more interesting stuff, they get tons and tons of support, I do everything to satisfy the audience and bring in this following, but literally nothing seems to work because it's all just pointing to, "your art just isn't all that". And it's even worse in large fandoms because that's basically just nothingness lmfao. Haven't been in one in ages though

I'm not gonna stop drawing. But I also can't help that I'm extremely social and want my art to be viewed by others. Humans as a species thrive off community so when there's a lack of that within their space, they tend to feel down. I have no clue what issue it could be other than what I proposed, because small fandom algorithms are non existent. You basically see it all if you're a fandom member. I've tried everything to garner support on things and it's all just. Nothing. I never get the kind of support I've seen my friends here get for the past 2 years, and I'm getting hate mail often about my work. Not to mention the shit talk I get from people.

I mean, hell, you literally just joined (back) and you've got a better following than me. You've managed to get all this attention because your art is just simply amazing. I can't get that. It's sucky knowing everything has pointed to me not being good enough to amass such a following despite how hard I try and how confident I can feel about my skills sometimes.

Once again, I'm not gonna quit or shit like that. I'm well aware that I gotta do it for my own joy and I *do*. But a child is gonna be a little upset if they notice they're showing the same group of people their art that their peers are, yet their peers get so many more "so cute!"s when they get one when lucky, regardless of the child's enjoyment of having drawn it. The same goes for any time of small community where notice isn't dictated by an algorithm due to lack of size. It's the same few people, but the same few people always prefer the talent as one might expect. I don't have what they're looking for. Just a little sad, is all.

[thelikesofus]

Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by the most incredible: @shortsighted-owl, @thosetwofirefighters and @monsterrae1

i'll be honest, my early fandom years are pretty blurry and I was kinda late to the game (perks of living in a sheltered home with limited internet) but I will try to answer as best I can.

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

my first "fandom" was probably teen wolf (tv) or at least that's where I first remember learning words like 'OTP' but the first fandom I wrote for was Fairy Tail (anime)

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

technically the first story i ever wrote was for my little brother about a magical tractor. i was about 9 and I typed it, printed it and found clipart tractor pictures to glue into the 'book' but I've been creative writing for my whole life pretty much and used to publish original stories on wattpad (I have not been back to that dark scary place in literal years)

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

there are so many different kinds of fic and you don't have to write the next best 20 chapter long fic with the most profound and original story for it to be loved by readers/the fandom. Write the 2k fluff fic or the 500 word angst drabble!

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

i haven't had many fandom interactions pre-911, I was very much a lurker in fandom. I joined a discord channel for an anime ship (Obiyuki from Akagami no Shirayukihime) and I made one really really good friend when I was writing kpop fic. But 9-1-1 is the first time I've had fandom mutuals and friends who seem to know and recognize my writing and I have @loveyourownsmiilee to thank for that. From the first time Juju reblogged and commented on one of my early buddie fics it was like being excepted into the 911 fam 💜

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

a snippet from an older fic:

Then quick as a flash and before she can react his long, slim hands, the same ones she watched, so carefully sharpening the knife just hours earlier, are around her throat. He has flipped her over, her back now against the mattress, pushing her down into the springs. He is leaning right over her, his eyes wide and wild. But glazed as if he still believes he is dreaming.

Slipping Through The Cracks (obiyuki)

a snippet from a newer fic:

Shit. He's beautiful. Buck's cheeks are flushed pink and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily. His chest is heaving and it brushes against Eddie's with every odd breath. His curls spill off his forehead, damp with sweat and curling around his ears and Eddie feels pulled apart. 

"Eds," Buck whispers. 

"Buck." He replies. 

"You're sitting on me." Buck snickers and suddenly Eddie is all too aware of where his knees rest on either side of Buck's hips, of their thighs pressed against each other, of Buck's eyelashes as they brush against the delicate skin beneath his eyes, fanning out dark and gentle. 

Crushes, Shivers and Bruised Knuckles (buddie)

I'm not sure who has and hasn't done this yet but I'll tag @loveyourownsmiilee @wheelsupin-five @bekkachaos @lilbuddie @spotsandsocks and @elvensorceress. And anyone else who would like to do it feel free it tag me xx

[ailendolin]

Whump Wednesday - 54 - BBC Ghosts

Title: Starving [AO3]

Characters: Fanny, Thomas, Nigel and Jemima

Prompt: Fanny used to love to sing but can't bring herself to anymore thanks to her mother and George. - Prompt sent in by the lovely @magicaltear.

A/N: This is set in the same universe as my fic The Club . It's not necessarily to have read it to understand this one but it provides some context for how the Singing Club started. There are also some spoilers for series 4.

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Starving

The last thing Fanny expected at the end of that very long day was for Thomas to ask her to join a Singing Club she hadn’t even known existed.

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping,” he said as they happened to be walking back to their respective rooms together, exhausted and ready to get some rest after spending the last few hours trying to come up with the right way to apologise to Alison. “But it seems to me that you actually wanted to participate in our Sorry Song earlier …”

He turned to her with those large, expressive eyes of his, leaving the sentence hanging with an inquisitive look on his face. Fanny lifted her chin a little higher and steeled her face to sell a lie. “I did not. I’m not even sure that … abomination of yours can even be called a song.”

“And yet you knew the words when Kitty faltered,” Thomas pointed out, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Because I was subjected to them for hours, Thomas,” Fanny said with an air of exasperation. “Anyone would remember the lyrics after that.”

Thomas looked down at the floor for a moment before he sighed softly, almost as if he was disappointed. “Well, for what it’s worth: I’m glad you took part in it even if the song didn’t end up working in our favour. And if you ever feel like singing again, you’re more than welcome to join our Singing Club.”

“Singing Club?” Fanny asked, feeling intrigued despite herself. “I wasn’t aware that Pat had organised one.”

“Oh no, sorry, it’s not an official club. I should have said that,” Thomas hurried to explain with an apologetic smile. “It’s just something Nigel, Jemima and I started a while ago. We get together two or three times a week in Jemima’s pantry and sing together. Nothing fancy, just … simple songs. Folk songs and the like, you know?”

His lips pulled up into a soft smile and his gaze grew a little distant as he remembered something Fanny was not privy to. There was a fondness in his eyes that she would have never expected him to feel towards Jemima and NIgel of all people, and it suddenly hit her that he looked happier in that moment than she had seen him in a very long time. It reminded her of a time, long ago now, when something as simple and common as music had brought a similar joy to her as well.

Feeling her heart begin to ache with sudden longing, Fanny firmly pushed those thoughts away. “I see.”

Thomas blinked as if waking from a dream. His smile shifted from soft to self-conscious and he fiddled with his hands as he so often did when he was nervous.

“You don’t have to join us, of course,” he said quietly, looking down at his restless hands rather than meeting her eyes. “But we’d be glad to have you.”

He sounded so utterly genuine that Fanny felt her carefully erected façade crumble a little.

“Thank you, Thomas,” she said, a little awkwardly. “That is a very kind offer but seeing as I don’t make a habit of singing I’m afraid I’ll have to decline it.”

Thomas looked disappointed but not surprised. “Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us.”

He gave her one last flickering smile before he bid her goodnight with a perfectly elegant bow and faded through the door to his room. For a heartbeat or two, Fanny stood there in the middle of the empty hallway and remembered soft piano notes, wintry lyrics and the feeling of being free.

She shook her head at herself and willed her feet to move on from silly things such as carols and choirs. They were for other people, not for her.

Not anymore.

————

Despite her best efforts not to think about it, Thomas’s Singing Club refused to leave Fanny’s thoughts over the next few weeks. She found herself walking past the pantry more often than she usually did, straining to hear faint notes from behind the door and chiding herself for feeling disappointed when there was nothing but silence. It wasn’t that she actually wanted to join the club – definitely not that. She was just curious about its odd constellation of participants. At least that’s what she kept telling herself as she lay in bed late at night and found herself humming soft melodies she hadn’t dared to give voice to in over a hundred years.

There had been a time once when she wouldn’t have hesitated to sing her heart out. Fanny still remembered the joy of sitting beside her mother at the piano and singing with her. They were the fondest childhood memories she had of her mother – before proper manners, unmet expectations and financial disaster had ruined their relationship and turned it into something cold and full of resentment.

“Stephanie, would you please stop that incessant humming. It’s not appropriate.”

A sigh. “Yes, Mother.”

“Are you whistling to yourself again?”

Biting her tongue. “No, Mother.”

“We don’t need you singing along now, do we, Stephanie?”

Swallowing hurt feelings and grinding her teeth. “No, Mother.”

Fanny did not remember when exactly singing became something secret that had to be hidden from the world unless it was done properly – which meant in a choir where her voice became one of many and got lost in a sea of soaring music. But she did remember when she banned it from her life completely. Even now, so many years later, her heart still ached at the memory of watching her handwritten sheet music go up in flames until it was lost forever. Her marriage to George had changed her for the worst in many ways but the loss of music in her life, the loss of her voice, was one she still found herself mourning the most.

“You call that singing? A mangy street cat can yowl better than you,” he’d once said to her.

Her husband had always been awfully good at hitting her where it hurt the most. Fanny had tried to ignore him at first but his constant remarks eventually wore her down and became so unbearable that she’d destroyed every songbook she owned in a fit of anger and frustration.

An already quiet and joyless house became almost deadly silent after that.

Fanny wondered if Thomas had witnessed that terrible moment of pain and fury in her life all those years ago, wondered if maybe that was the reason why he had asked her to join his Singing Club and not someone else. Kitty would have been the logical choice, really – she loved to sing and did it with such open and unrestrained joy that Fanny couldn’t help but envy her sometimes. No one had ever taken her voice away from her, had silenced her with glances and glares.

But Thomas hadn’t asked Kitty – he had asked her, and Fanny couldn’t deny that a part of her desperately wanted to take him up on his offer. But days had passed since he made it. It would be awkward for her to change her mind now, not to mention that he might not have been entirely serious when he’d proposed the idea to her. Perhaps he’d only asked her so he could mock her like George had and–

Fanny firmly put a stop to that thought. Thomas might be many things but he was not someone who would ridicule anyone for doing something they enjoyed – unlike her and the others who never managed to hide their disdain when he took to the stage and performed one of his poems. It was admirable, really, Fanny found herself thinking, that even after two centuries of meeting nothing but criticism and thinly veiled contempt for his work Thomas still hadn’t given up on it. He shook off their groans and muttered mockery in a way Fanny had never been able to with George or her mother, and it made her appreciate him and his poetry, awful as it might be, a little more.

Still, she couldn’t just turn up at Singing Club out of nowhere, could she? Thomas might welcome her presence but would the others? Had he even told Nigel and Jemima about his generous invitation?

Fanny resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands in a very unladylike manner. She hated that something as simple as walking through a door could be so hard for her, that the mere idea of allowing herself to be even just a little vulnerable in front of others made her chest feel almost painfully tight. She wanted to experience the same joy Kitty felt when she sang at the top of her lungs and the passion that drove Thomas to compose something new every day.

And yet she couldn’t even bring herself to fade through the door in front of her.

“Just be quiet, Stephanie,” her mother used to say.

“Leave the talking to me,” George had murmured before greeting men that were just as flawed as he was with a smile that was as fake as their marriage.

Their voices were louder than the longing inside her heart; always had been, always would be. Fanny had resigned herself to that a long time ago.

Pursing her lips, she resolutely turned away from the door and the soft singing coming from behind it.

————

It was pure chance that had her passing by the pantry a few days later on her way to visit her pets in the garden. It wasn’t the sound of singing that made her stop mid-step this time but that of laughter. Soft giggles filtered through the old wood, so different from Jemima’s usual quiet and serious manner. They were joined by soft, unrestrained chuckles that sounded carefree in a way Thomas rarely was when he took part in one of Pat’s clubs. Nigel’s breathless laughter completed the beautiful symphony.

Turning towards the door, Fanny listened despite the voice of her mother telling her to go and George’s urging her to tell the three off for being too loud.

For the first time in decades, she chose to ignore them.

She leaned closer to the door, drawn towards the joy spilling out from behind it. It reminded her of her children who used to hide in this very pantry, thinking no one would be able to hear their giggling from inside it. Fanny had, of course, and yet she’d chosen to turn a blind eye to their antics and keep George away so they could play their games in peace. Her husband had never liked the sound of children in the house, and knowing that she had done everything in her power to ensure that her children’s voices wouldn’t be stifled like hers had been.

It was one of only a few acts of rebellion she had allowed herself.

Fanny wondered if Jemima’s singing had drawn them to the pantry back then. Perhaps she had been their imaginary friend, and maybe the little plague girl had considered them her friends as well until they’d grown out of the age of playing silly games in cupboards.

The thought saddened her more than Fanny would like to admit.

The laughter beyond the door in front of her slowly faded away, pulling her back to the present.

“Can we sing a song now?” she heard Jemima ask softly.

“Of course, my lady,” Nigel said, his voice still vibrating with laughter. “What song would you like to sing?”

Jemima was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about it. “The one about the fish in the sea.”

“Of course you do,” Thomas said, sounding unbelievably fond. He cleared his throat and began to sing. It wasn’t a particularly beautiful or breath-taking song but it was sung with such obvious joy that Fanny found herself closing her eyes and taking it in as if she was starving. She supposed she was, in a way; had been for a very long time.

One song turned into another and then another. Before Fanny knew it the old grandfather clock in the front hallway chimed the hour. She gasped, too surprised to stifle the sound as she realised that she’d been standing in front of the pantry for almost an hour and was already late for Food Club. She hurried to the common room and was immediately met with the Captain’s disapproving glare when she entered. “You’re late.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Fanny said and took her place next to him as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Shall we begin?”

As Kitty launched into yet another story about her least favourite food, Fanny found her thoughts straying back to gentle melodies and quiet laughter.

————

“You should join us next time,” Thomas said casually as they made their way through the garden later that day because Robin wanted to show them something in the woods.

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean,” Fanny said, knowing exactly what he was alluding to. She quickened her steps in the hopes of catching up to the Captain and Pat ahead of her and escaping what would undoubtedly be an uncomfortable conversation.

Thomas, however, was not so easily deterred. “You’re welcome to linger outside the door, of course, but we’d rather you come inside and join us. Jemima would love to meet you, actually.”

“Really?” Fanny couldn’t help but ask in surprise. The knowing smile on Thomas’s face was enough to make her realise her mistake. With one small word she had all but admitted to loitering in the hallway by the pantry, just like Thomas had said. She had no idea how he knew that she’d been there but there clearly was no use in denying it now.

So she faced him and told him honestly, “I don’t think I’d be a good fit for your club, Thomas.”

“I disagree,” he said plainly.

Fanny heaved a heavy sigh that must have come across as annoyed because Thomas’s face fell and he backtracked, babbling about how sorry he was for overstepping and that he didn’t mean to force her into something that she didn’t want to do and–

“All right,” Fanny said, if only to stop him talking. Thomas’s head snapped up, his eyes impossibly wide with hope, making her realise that there was no turning back now. She suddenly felt her heart in her throat. “I’ll come to your club but I make no promises of singing.”

Thomas nodded eagerly. “Of course. We start at four tomorrow and I promise we will be done before Film Club starts.”

Fanny managed to swallow around the lump in her throat. “Very well.”

Thomas beamed at her.

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he said before he skipped ahead of her down the path, humming happily to himself as Robin led them deeper into the woods.

Feeling lighter than she had in years, Fanny watched him go and allowed herself to smile.

[merge-conflict]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Ty for the ask! :3 <333 I also just want to say I love your work and how welcoming and uplifting you are to so many folks. Honestly, I've been feeling kind of good lately about what I've made, which is a nice change of pace. And I'm most invested in my longfic the damn things overlap. Posting the first few chapters is what got me to really commit to writing again, and then to actually stop lurking and join fandom, which has been a blast! This fic is especially near and dear because creating and writing Valentine has been... so self-indulgent. An enby character who is just a total mess, and particularly one who has so many conflicting traits and is always at war with herself. She loves being a corpo, even though it requires her to put so much effort into playing her role. She defaults to being friendly and pleasant and is entirely ruthless. She's mean but not evil, so sometimes she helps people out just because. She's morally flexible and all she really wants out of life is to embed herself so totally in someone else's that they can't or won't function without her. She continuously chases things that she knows are bad for her and will continue to do this with a surprising amount of self-awareness until she finally blunders into trouble she can't blunder out of. She's the kind of absolute mess of gender and addictive personality that I desperately wanted to see and I got to make her!!

For the fic itself, I'm really pleased that I've managed to consistently write scenes that make me laugh, which before this I didn't know was possible? It makes writing such a blast, and now I purposefully try to weave in humor and a little bit of mundane ridiculousness throughout, particularly to offset the darker or more distressing scenes. I'll share one of my favorites:

Though conceptually V knew her apartment was a bit of a mess, it wasn’t until she saw Takemura looking it over that she really remembered. Jackie and T-bug would have loved it. Saburo Arasaka’s bodyguard performing a security sweep on the perpetual sprawl of electronics that covered her desk. The stack of screens and speakers she’d scavenged from an old job. A pile of clean clothing dumped in front of her half-empty closet.

“You are sure this place has not been searched?” His tone was deadpan, expression grave.

V pretended to be offended. “Here I am, granting you shelter. You should be nicer to me.”

“Perhaps I am not very nice.”

“To think Wakako called you a gentleman.”

He laughed – it was definitely a laugh, tugging at the corners of his eyes – and drifted towards the window and the sight of the city in twilight.

I just– I'm imagining being in Takemura's shoes: he's had the worst few weeks of his entire life, he's on the run, hasn't had a decent shower or meal or rest, finally found an ally who's offered him a place to crash, and her home is just filled with junk and a total sty. He can't be totally rude about it, but like, come on. Give the poor man a break.

[dearlydesecrated]

"OF ALL THE FATES TO BEFALL YOU, YOU'VE JOINED ME IN TRAGEDY? HOW REASSURING."

Lucia / Lu ✨ Adult (21+) ✨ She / Her ✨ Fandom & OC Content

Welcome to my all-in-one blog, DearlyDesecrated! (If you've seen my other accounts, my email retrieval failure says "But you didn't!") It’s always harder to talk about myself than it is to talk about my interests (whatever they may be at the given time) but I suppose introducing myself is step one, aha. As you’ve seen, I’m Lucia (though Lu is also acceptable) and I love to write, draw, and daydream. I enjoy gaming too, I lean more toward story based ones (RPG’s and Sims mostly) though I do enjoy trying out new games outside my usual. I also enjoy anime and manga, so expect some of my interests from a little bit of everywhere.

I enjoy gushing and ranting about my interests but I also enjoy gushing with others about theirs. If you ever wanted to rave about how sweet your F/O (Fictional Other, for non self-shippers!) is, the new manga/anime you just finished, talk head canons and/or theories, or just talk about your day or some good news you got recently... My message box is always open and anonymous asks are welcome when my ask box is open! I adore talking to people of all sorts and walks, as long as you're respectful you'll find I love learning things and prefer to be corrected especially when it's n a constructive manner. I’m pretty low energy most days (between work and household things) so I love just sitting down to talk about my favorite things/people with mutuals and like minded people. That said....

Before you Contact/Interact:

‼️ GENERAL

This blog is SFW with mild - if any - suggestive content. I may more mature jokes but there won't be any kind of outright/explicit or blatant NSFW on this blog. That said, I require anyone who sends me a private message directly to be over eighteen (18+). This is for my comfort and anyone who dms / pms me with an ageless or blank blog, - and anyone who is discovered to be a minor at any point during our interaction - will be blocked on discovery. Do note; You may interact with my ask box and blog content regardless of your age (providing you aren't breaking Tumblr's ToS) and I do have anon enabled if that's something that helps you. I'm just uncomfortable interacting privately with minors as a whole. Thank you for your understanding 💕

Any and all sensitive content I'm aware of will be tagged as such and clearly at that. As previously mentioned this blog is SFW but I have a darker humor and taste and I like to express myself. Some posts may contain dark content (and not necessarily in a 'humorous' or light manner) here and there, but none of them are explicit or graphic here. I A human however and I make mistakes. If there's content you that you are uncomfortable with that is untagged, please either choose not not interact further or inform me so I can prevent / avoid making you and potentially others uncomfortable in the future. My blog is meant to be a fun and enjoyable way to interact with others and I aim for it to be all-inclusive and safe for everyone involved where possible.

Generally aside from the above, I'm very inclusive and my DNI is basic and common things. This is lgbt+, mental health, physical health, race, culture, ALL INCLUSIVE safe space as long as things on all ends are respectful. Hate, racism, sexual and gender exclusion/discrimination, predatory and/or illegal behavior / actions will get a block without warning or explainination. TL;DR? Respect AND Trust is a mutual reward, think about how you want to be perceived before you interact.

‼️ ART • ANIME/MANGA • GAMES • ETC

First and foremost; please DO NOT edit, repost, crop, repost, or otherwise modify and redistribute my illustrations, literature, or designs without express/explicit written permission. Never enter anything I make in Generators, AI softwares or websites, or NFTS. I have not and never will give permission for this. Moving on...

I love music, anime, manga, manwha, game, yada blah blah- Give me your recommendations! I'm INCREDIBLY open to everything (no NSFW links or recommendations, of corse) and I'd love to get into a series, fandom, trilogy / novel, etc and have someone to rant and rave with! I don't shy away from anything so even if its not my usual cup I'll try a sip just for the experience.

Working on a fic / novel / book? New WIP looking so tasty you want to tantalize someone's senses with the upcoming meal? Made a new plush and the stitch is seals? Perhaps the new book you read just blew your mind with he plot twist or the new fall anime you were eyeballing disappointed the hype train... Needless to say I want to hear about it! I want to see it! Reading compression required? These glasses aren't for show! 👓You receive; an anctive ear for you interest. And can tell you about Capoeira, a brazilian martial art I had the pleasure of learning that mixes dance with combat! Or the pattern I found on Pinterest for Animal Crossing... The new design I'm working on, etc!!

‼️ SELF-SHIP PROTOCOL

No restrictions for interaction but I would ask that as with any space, public or private, you remain respectful. There's a wide cast of people out there and if something isn't your taste that doesn't mean no one else can like the flavor.

My S/I (self-insert) has a crap ton of lore because I like the idea of a singular S/I for all of my interests that I can build around every aspect of my self-ship content. It's a whole process and I'm super excited to rant and rave about it!

Tell me about your S/I (even if you omit F/Os) - are they just general insert depends or the verse / fandom? Maybe they have a deeper lore and that ties in to their differences by verse, if any!

Talk to me about your F/Os! Any recent art of them you love? A story that moved you? Something you saw that reminded you of them and gave you warm fuzzies? Or maybe you want to gush about a character in general? I have two ears, pull up a chair.

💗 Asks, Likes, Replies, Reblogs, and Follows welcome and Appreciated!! 💓