#so touched that they wrote me such a wonderful gift 🥹
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i still can’t believe the lovely and incredibly talented @ps2fog wrote me a milex fic for my birthday???? 😭 i’m not even a tiny bit over the fact they wrote something specially for me, or how absolutely BEAUTIFUL it is. like genuinely, it took my breath alway. it’s the the most poetic, lyrical, introspective little snapshot of alex’s thoughts as he’s sharing a cigarette with miles, and if you haven’t read it already you should absolutely check it out! i truly feel so blessed to have made such lovely friends in this little space here 🫶🫶🫶
#i may or may not have already re-read it a few times#their writing is just as thoughtful and beautiful as they are as a person 💗#so touched that they wrote me such a wonderful gift 🥹#💖💖💖#(also some of the best alex characterisation i’ve read. i came away feeling so inspired ✨)#thank you so so much laz you’re such a sweetheart and i feel so grateful to know you 💜#milex#milex fic#lulu posts
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!!!!! hi !!! :) can u maybe write rise leo & donnie hcs (separate pls) with a reader who's super affectionate and just loves tf out of them.!!! like!!! reader is head over heels!!!
also i hate that u were self conscious while writing totally platonic ;( it was so great, i rly like the way u wrote it!!!🥹 made me feel all warm n' fuzzy n' shit
Touchy-Feely
꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡ (seperate) don + leo hcs w a supez affectionate reader!!! (physical touch, gift-giving, words of affirmation)
req ;; yes/no
g/n reader!! they/them prns
warnings ;; swearing, kinda ooc??
leo ;;
- so leo is naturally ALL over people he loves (think climbing all over raph, draping himself over mikey + donnie, etc)
- it'd be really accurate to say he's the same way with you!
- whenever you're in the lair, or just around the turtles/leo, you are going to be snatched up and there is nothing you can do about it!
- standing up? okay, leo's just gonna wrap his arms round your waist and lean his head on your shoulder.
- sitting down? either you're sitting in his lap or he's sitting in yours— or, he sits on the floor beside you so that he can lean his head on your thighs (i love doing that)
- laying in bed? CUDDLE TIME!
- that's all just to say that leo himself is very physically affectionate ;; if he got the chance he'd hold onto you and never let go
- with leo's self-esteem problems, i think it really helps to have a partner who's super affectionate!
- leo's the kinda guy to have doubts/ be like 'why are you even with me? i'm so lame and my brothers/literally anyone is so much better than me'
- so to have someone who time and time again shows how much they love him and proves that they only have eyes for him?
- it actually really helps! of course, those thoughts do come back sometimes, but it's nothing that a few kisses and a cuddle session can't fix!
- not to mention how you're always, always willing to tell him own much you love him!! because you do, you love him very much and will do anything to get those bad thoughts out of his head
- if he ever feels bad about himself or something he did, he always comes to you to get some comfort bc you comfort him in the best way
- like i wrote in Totally Platonic, leo's prone to subconsciously wagging his tail, making chittering/churring sounds at you, even fluttering his fingers around your cheeks bc red-eared slider DNA go brrr
- something that i think leo would be self-conscious of is money and ish, bc its not like he can really get much?? with the whole turtle situation
- but you, of course, being the angel you are, constantly reassures him that you don't need materialistic things for him to prove his love! you just want him, not anything else
- he sobs on the spot
- leo's the type of guy to fall HARD, so to know you're the same way? to know that you're as crazy about him as he is about you?
- he swoons, and wonders what he might've done to deserve such a wonderful partner.
- (literally save the world twice but who's counting?)
donnie ;;
- everybody, EVERYBODY KNOWS that donnie ain't a very touch-oriented guy, so at the start of the relationship, he'd deffo be overwhelmed by all the love and might ask you to tone it down (not in a mean way)
- once he gets comfortable tho he's all up for affection and cuddles :))
- you do ruin his bad-boy image tho. how is this man supposed to be dark and mysterious when your sweet self is out here making him absolutely melt???
- donnie typically shows his love through gifts and words!!!
- alike leo, he could spend HOURS singing your praise and just saying everything he loves about you (he's actually made a list organized by his most favourite qualities alphabetically.)
- i personally think that for donnie, being a middle child, he didn't get too much attention and we know for a FACT that he yearns for praise and love
- so you KNOW he's going feral if you so much as say 'wow, that's cool!' to one of his inventions
- donnie, while a little overwhelmed by all the love you show him, is really happy to have it
- don can get really stressed when doing his experiments/making his inventions, so it helps to have you around!!
- comes to you for cuddles and to rant when stuff doesn't go his way or an experiment fails
- DEFFO appreciates how affectionate and lovey-dovey you are.
- (also like leo) he can get down in the dumps and insecure bc he believes that his tech is the only 'useful' thing about himself
- so to hear you constantly being like "ahhh my bf!!! my wonderful talented smart funny bf!!!! my love my light of my life!!! i love you i love you i love you :DD" to him really brought up his spirits
- how could they not?? you're just too cute and so sweet!!
- it also helps if he feels kinda insecure in public!! people trying to flirt w you? you don't even notice because you're too busy looking at donnie.
- donnie totes makes you gifts and stuff (little robot to help you out w chores, maybe one to remind you every day how much he loves you :])
- unlike leonardo however, don prefers to keep pda to a minimum;; he likes having certain things to himself and in private
- that doesn't mean that he don't love it tho!!! he just prefers that some stuff stays behind walls
A/N ;; SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! but thank you so much for the request :DD im so eepy jssbbfjs,,,, anyway MEOWSSSS can't wait to work on more fics :]] they might come (even) slower tho bc im starting classes again (AGHHHHHHH)
LUV FROM ;; CUPEZ
#rottmnt#rottmnt fanfiction#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt x reader#leo x reader#rottmnt leo x reader#leonardo tmnt#leonardo#leo rottmnt#donnie x reader#rottmnt donnie x reader#donatello tmnt#donatello#donatello rottmnt#cupid writes#luv from cupez
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I can finally hurl this silly thing I wrote weeks ago at you. 🥹
A lot of people probably told you this already, but I like the contrast you gave between Ghost and König. While Ghost feels like an abused, skittish animal that you have to assure slowly, patiently that it’s okay to be loved before they finally, at one random day, wag their tail at you—finally falling heads over heels with you, König—in contrast—got that first taste of affection and he dives in head first in a snap. He wants more. He needs to take all. exactly. right. now. He wants to hoard your love; he’s addicted of you, yeah? It honestly feels like he has ADD/ADHD/other neurodivergencies and you’re his hyper-fixation. And honestly? You’re totally fine with that.
Anyway, I’ll take one of each please. Thank you very much. 🤣 Have a wonderful day, love. 😘
!!!! My gorgeous friend and fellow fictional military man enthusiast: you are SO RIGHT. They're both abused dogs but respond to love quite differently. And omg you also said that Ghost is like a German Shepherd and König is a Great Dane and you are so on point on that as well 😭 (But what about Yandere König? Brings to mind a poorly trained Doberman...)
Like it takes months for Ghost to show you he's a goner too. Mostly, he observes you with what looks like distant curiosity at best. (If you could see inside his brain, you'd hear the grunty mutters of “Fuck me... I’m fucking fucked.”)
But! Ghost's love language is acts of service (to the max.) He’s furiously loyal, can and will make you laugh, always makes sure you’re nice and cozy and happy; your needs come first at all times. Underneath, our man is touch-starved and seeks your praise but would never, ever demand it. Just when you’re getting used to your “arrangement” — or whatever your relationship could be called – he suddenly asks whether you should move to this place he just bought. Easier that way, yeah? ;)
But König… Oh my god. If he trusts you enough, the breaks are gone. Not only kaputt but GONE. He wants to surround you, infiltrate you, win you to himself, but most of all, love you until you two become one.
He’s not constantly demanding attention, you’re not exactly tripping on him, but… He does like almost every photo on your Instagram, and proceeds to court you like he's the next Lancelot du Lac. You went on a date with him and now there's flowers and odd little gifts waiting for you every other day when you come home.
He's an independent man and has learned to survive alone, but at the same time, your attention and love are like a drug to him. König pulls you close every morning and every evening and during the night and multiple times a day. Your mood is his mood, and if you’re not happy, he needs to fix that shit. Many a time you find him watching you, making sure you’re truly there, and real, and his.
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We may not be well acquainted, but I wanted to spread cheer and joy to others. cheer to others.I apologize for not having anything impressive or grand for you as a gift. However, I did compose this poem just for this special occasion.
Today is a day to celebrate,
Not just your own special date,
But a time to remember and be grateful,
For all the love and happiness that you have been gifted.
With family and friends gathered near,
We come together, to wish you cheer,
For it is in our hearts and in our souls, that we find the joy and peace,
In this life full of community,
And in the bonds we share,
Let's keep each other safe and cared for,
And make this world a better place,
As you celebrate this special day, May it be filled with the light of happiness and safety,
Surrounded by family, friends, and their laughter,
May this year be one of joy, one of love and of peace,
May every dream and wish come true, this very special day to please,
May all your cares and worries be swept away,
And as you blow out the candles on your birthday cake,
May your heart be full of hope, and happiness that will never fade.
Happy birthday 🎂🎉
Hey there! So glad to find you in my inbox! 😄 I think I've reblogged some of your content in the past, so I really don't know why I wasn't following you yet, but it's now more than fixed 🥰
I really appreciate you reaching out to wish me a happy birthday! You're so kind 🥹 Thank you so much! 😄 And please don't apologize! I feel so warm inside that you thought of me and wanted to send me an ask for my birthday 🥰💖
And the poem!!!!!!
My God 🥹🥹🥹 It's so incredibly beautiful and full of sentiment, and your writing is so delightful! I believe I've read you in the past but I'm seriously so astounded by your wonderful style! Aww I'm seriously so touched and honored that your wrote it for me 🥹🥹🥹 You're truly so sweet and so talented!! Thank you sooooo much 🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
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Okay, so, Armand collects poetry. It started after he met Lestat and after Nicki had passed. Nicki's writings, when not for the Théâtre des Vampires, were something that mostly annoyed Armand and he didn't see much value in them. It was a mad man's hobby, and something that was a requirement to pacify the man - a tedious supply of paper and ink for their playwright to squander on inane scribblings. It wasn't until after his passing that Armand really looked at anything Nicki wrote, and while it may not have touched his soul or heart (not that he could identify, anyway), it was interesting to him. It was different, threadbare, and vulnerable in a way that even his mind gift didn't reveal to him in other vampires. And despite it being written in Nicki's hand, he realized with some irritation that it made him think less of his tortured violinist, and more and more of the blonde, lively, insufferable idiot of a vampire that was Lestat. I think he saw glimpses into a past version of Nicki that he never knew, and through that he saw the same person who had equally stirred, disturbed, and intrigued the both of them. It was a quiet collection. He kept some of Nicki's writings, less of sentimental value and more of aesthetic nature. He had ones he liked, but he didn't think that he was particularly moved by the words. It was just interesting enough that he would keep them, that was all.
It wasn't often that someone he killed had a book of poetry on them either - what are the odds of that, really? - but it did happen once, and again, out of curiosity, he flipped through the book and found himself thinking back on Lestat, and he pocketed it. A small collection, but a collection nonetheless: it was secret, and it was his. This happened a few times over the next century. Not too many - he didn't particularly seek them out - but his collection grew to a small box full by the time he met Louis. They didn't survive the fire, but in Armand's mind, he didn't particularly care. They were just things that he was never really attached to anyways, he didn't know why he even kept them. And then he saw Louis reading a book one day, and he found that once more, he saw poetry reflected in the man he loved. Nicki's poetry was of hurt and pain and anger, and there was a screaming desire for life and death that made him think of Lestat, but Louis had a more thoughtful selection, a more quiet, placid taste in the little wonders of the mortal world. Armand's collection started again, and little by little, he had assembled a small box of poetry that he associated with Louis. It didn't last long, and Armand insisted he wasn't sentimental about it. Put in a storage somewhere that he wouldn't return to but never forgot, he went on for decades without collecting them again until he met a young reporter boy by the name of Daniel. There were modern trends in poetry that Armand hadn't bothered to look into or keep up with - slam poetry, freeform poetry, words that bounced across pages like ping-pong balls for the fun of it. It wasn't until they were courting each other fully and going from one artist's party to the next that he decided to seek out poems that made him think of his new lover. Modern, rough, strange, young, erratic, hungry poetry. He still has his box of poetry that he associates with Daniel at his home, wherever he calls home at the moment. He keeps it a secret, not just Daniel's, but all of the poems he's collected over the past few lifetimes of the different men he's loved, because those are parts of his heart that he's not sharing.
Klay, dude...
How could you come into my ask box and completely and utterly eviscerate me like this? 🥹
He keeps it a secret, not just Daniel's, but all of the poems he's collected over the past few lifetimes of the different men he's loved, because those are parts of his heart that he's not sharing.
Just the progression of it being something he told himself invoked no feeling and meant nothing, to becoming these cherished mementos and something that is uniquely, truly his...
Respectfully, I am in pieces.
(I hope Lestat, Louis, and Daniel know Armand has a not-so-secret love of poetry and inadvertently add to his collection every now and then).
#p.s. PLEASE feel free to leave essays for me anytime#headcanon accepted#sobbing over nicolas de lenfent for the rest of my life#you ask and hekate answers#armand#armand/lestat#armand/louis#armand/daniel#headcanons
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@anxietyxattacked whispered: [ GIFT ]: while hugging the receiver, the sender slips something into their pocket out of the public eye. (Ash giving Dick a necklace with the pick that was used when they were writing lifeblood 🥹)
»» ──────ஓ๑♄๑ஓ ────── «« ᴅɪᴄᴋ ᴡᴀꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴀ big hugger, but if there was one person he could use as an answer if someone were to ask him who he liked to hug the most, it would be ash. the other young man was shorter than him, much less built than he was, but he could feel the emotion in his hugs, every time he touched him, that lost sense of love and feeling that he knew he was missing so deep inside of him. when he felt the other's arms slip around him this time, however, he felt something slide into his back pocket, the sensations making him FLINCH a bit. he gingerly reached back, wondering if the other was somehow pranking him, but he recognized the guitar pick he pulled out of his pocket. the same orange one he remembered that was slipped between ash's fingers as he wrote his portion of lifeblood. the first song they wrote together ... and he wanted to give him this gift? a smile stretched across his face as his gaze flicked from the pick, to ash, and back again. ❝ ... you're giving me this ... ? you sure you don't wanna keep it for yourself ... ? it might come in handy for you — for BOTH of us — down the line ... ❞
#kicking ass and taking names. >>> 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑#fuck around and find out. >>> 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒#anxietyxattacked#when music hits you you feel no pain. >>> 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂#q
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@kmomof4 Wow! You did it alright, what an incredibly beautiful, satisfying, absolutely stunning and swoonworthy conclusion to this amazing tale!! It is now firmly cemented as one of my favorites, by the way!! It’s untelling how many times I will go back and re-read it and revel in the wonderful happy ending you’ve gifted to my personal favorite character with this journey of Sir Graham and Ruby. ❤️❤️❤️ That you wrote is as a gift for me just touches me more than words can say. 🥹🥰🥹
Okay, so many things to make sure that I don’t miss here… I loved that we got to visit Killian and Emma again, even though the circumstances of their young Alice being so sick were frightening, you got to see the strength of their love for each other and their children still prevailing and thriving, and you got to see Ruby’s care for them and her own strength come through when she arrived and stepped into the fray.
I also loved Killian’s choosing to trust his new brother-in-law to treat his beloved daughter, and that - as Ruby was - I believe Graham’s tea helped break the fever and save Alice’s life. I love that he was able to do that and have the study he loves make a life-saving difference to his newly gained family.
You had me all emotional again during Graham and Ruby’s conversation in their carriage on the way back to Romney Hall. The cause of their argument that sent her to My Cottage in the first place hasn’t disappeared, but they have seen what really matters in the meantime, needed each other and leaned on each other when it counted most, and you can see that from now on they are going to open up to each other and truly be a team.
This especially though, WOW: “I was so angry,” he said again, as if he didn’t even hear her, too lost in his own memory. But then he looked at her and something in his eyes was shattered and Ruby wanted nothing more than to gather him close and heal all those jagged edges inside him. To make him see himself as she saw him - a flawed man, yes, but a good and honorable one, too, who’d never hurt his children the way he had been. “Do you understand what it means to be frightened by your own anger?”
And these too: “…she’d touched his heart. And changed it.
Changed him.
He loved her.
He hadn’t been looking for love. Hadn’t even given a thought to it, but there it was. And it was the most beautiful and precious thing imaginable.
He was at the dawn of a new day. A new chapter in his life. It was both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. He did not want to fail. He couldn’t. Not when he’d just found everything he needed. Ruby. His children. Himself.
It had been years since he’d felt comfortable in his own skin. When he could trust his own instincts. When he could look at himself in the mirror and not avoid his own gaze.”
And then I love that they each have sort of back-to-back, lightning bolt realizations that they love each other. Not just want and physical need, not just because they’ve made a vow, or it’s the right thing to do, or for his children’s sake, but each other them is in love with the other. Mother is sure how they other got in their heart, but they want them to stay there and they are each determined to see their marriage succeed and flourish. It’s really powerful and well done; beautiful to read!! 🥰🥰🥰
Now I think I am just reciting huge swathes of your text, but this whole segment was so touching and so intensely emotional as well. When Graham really lets Ruby see what it was like in his first marriage - how hard he had tried and yet still felt that he failed - it’s no wonder he wasn’t as quick to pick up on the concerns Ruby had. My heart just went out to him completely all over again. And I love how she reassures him, how she admits her love and he returns it, and how he literally carries her bridal style to their room. 🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰 The whole thing just had me a teary, swoony puddle by the end of it!
“You said we have a problem,” he repeated. “But until you’ve lived through what I’ve lived through - until you’ve been trapped in a hopeless marriage, with a hopeless spouse, until you’ve gone to bed for years wanting nothing more than the touch of another human being…” He looked down at their joined hands and gently rubbed Ruby’s knuckles with his thumb. “Do not tell me that we have a problem. Because to me,” he choked on his words but kept on going, “to me, what we have, this - us, - is heaven.”
“Oh, Graham,” she breathed and threw herself into his arms, her own tears soaking his shirt.
“I don’t want to fail again,” he choked out, burying his face in her neck. “I can’t. I won’t.”
“No, you won’t,” she assured him. “We won’t.”
“You have to be happy,” he said. “Please tell me…”
“I am. I promise,” she vowed.
He pulled back, cupping her chin with his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. Looking for the truth of her words.
“I am happy, Graham,” she repeated, covering his hands with her own. “More than I ever thought possible. And I am proud to be your wife.”
Graham’s lower lip began to tremble and the tears reappeared in his eyes again before they began streaming down his face.
“I love you, Ruby,” he breathed. “And I don’t even care that you don’t feel the same…”
“Oh, Graham,” she cried, cutting him off, and wiping his tears away, even as her own continued to fall. “I love you, too.”
Graham crushed Ruby to him, his lips meeting hers in a passionate dance of love felt and reciprocated. He picked her up, bridal style, his lips never leaving hers and carried her through the halls to their bedchamber.”
And the outing with the children!! You can see how much Graham is trying. How good he is with his children, now that he is allowing himself to be open and share his time and heart with them. Not to mention how steady a support Ruby is to him in the endeavor, and how she loves him all the more for his effort. Nicholas wanting his father to come with him just melted my heart, as did Graham’s kissing Ava’s hand and telling her how lovely she was . 💕🩷💕
Oh and then, his notes that lead Ruby to their bedchamber that night. His confession that he wasn’t good with words, but how it “had all begun with a note” and so he would try. Plus the flowers, all his special flowers! It’s so very unique to him, the gift he feels most capable with, and he’s sharing it with her, using it to profess how much he loves her and how far they’ve come. Perfection!! Truly, just perfection. ❤️❤️❤️
To Sir Graham, With Love Ch. 9
We made it, y'all!!! It's the FINAL CHAPTER!!!! Sorry, not sorry for the first several scenes of this chapter... but y'all know me, the happy ending is GUARANTEED, and I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of this one!!!!
Thank you once again to @jrob64 and @whimsicallyenchantedrose for their outstanding beta services and to @motherkatereloyshipper for her BEAUTIFUL artwork above. I really can't stop staring at it!! It's so perfect!!!!
And also happy happy happiest of birthday's @snowbellewells!!!!! I'm BEYOND THRILLED that you loved this fic so much!!!! I hope this last chapter is the proverbial cherry on top of a huge ice cream sundae!!! I'm posting this ch a little early because Marta is home sick today, so I'm hoping this will help her feel better by putting a huge smile on her face!!!
Summary: After a year long secret correspondence, twenty-eight year old spinster Ruby Jones decides to accept Sir Graham Humbert's offer of a visit to see if they might suit for marriage. Unfortunately, he failed to mention that he was the father of twins, and they are not thrilled with Ruby's appearance.
Rating: M (smut and mentions of physical abuse) There is a love scene in this ch, but according to @whimsicallyenchantedrose - who doesn't read or write smut - it's very mild, more smut adjacent than anything, so it is not sectioned off like the scenes in previous chs. If you still want to skip it, stop reading when Graham places Ruby on the bed and pick back up at the next scene change line.
Words: 8k of 68k
Tags: Red Hunter Fic, Birthday Fic, Inspired by Eloise Bridgerton's Story, Smut
On ao3 From Beginning / Current Ch
On Tumblr Prologue Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8
Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.
@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615
@donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings
@booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @djlbg
@lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic @anmylica
@laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling @caught-in-the-filter
@ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie
@soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @thisonesatellite
@jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones @mie779
@kymbersmith-90 @suwya @veryverynotgoodwrites @myfearless-love
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
… I do not tell you often enough, dear Mother, how very grateful I am that I am yours. It is a rare parent who would offer a child such latitude and understanding. It is an even rarer one who calls a daughter friend. I do love you, dear Mama.
– from Ruby Jones to her mother, Alice, upon refusing her sixth offer of marriage
~*~*~*~*~*~
The ride to Killian and Emma’s was anything but comfortable and by the time Ruby arrived, her foul mood was even worse. And then when Graves opened the door and stared at her as if she was a madwoman, she nearly lost her temper completely.
Until she noticed the look upon his face.
“Graves?” she asked, when it became clear that he was beyond speech.
“Are they expecting you?” he asked, finally gathering himself together.
“Uh, no,” she said, drawing out the final word. “But I hardly think…”
Graves stepped aside - belatedly remembering himself - finally allowing her entrance. “It’s Miss Alice,” he said, referring to Killian and Emma’s oldest child, only five years old. “She’s quite ill.”
Ruby gasped, something awful rising in her throat. “What is it?” she asked, not bothering to hide her urgency. “Is she…” She couldn’t get the rest of the question out, just letting the words dangle, her meaning quite clear.
“I’ll get Mrs. Jones,” he said, turning quickly and scurrying up the stairs.
“No, wait!” Ruby called, wanting to ask him more questions, but he was already gone.
She slumped into a chair, feeling positively sick with worry for her small niece but also rather disgusted with herself for coming here to complain to her sister-in-law about something that didn’t even signify when compared to this.
“Ruby!”
It was Killian, not Emma that came down the stairs. He looked awful - his eyes red-rimmed, his hair in complete disarray, his skin pale and pasty. Ruby didn’t bother asking how long it had been since he slept. The answer was blatantly obvious. He hadn’t closed his eyes in days.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I just came for a visit,” she explained. “Just to say hello. I had no idea! What’s wrong with her? She was fine last week!”
Killian took several moments to answer. “She has a fever. She woke up fine on Saturday, but by luncheon…” He sagged against the wall, unable to go on. “I don’t know what to do, Ruby.”
“What did the doctor say?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said, scrubbing his hand down his face. “Nothing useful anyway.”
“May I see her?”
Killian nodded, his eyes closed.
“You need to rest,” Ruby said.
“I can’t.”
“You must,” she insisted. “You’re no good to anyone like this. And I’d wager Emma is the same.”
“I made her sleep an hour ago,” he said. “She looked like death.”
“And you look no better,” Ruby said drily. She purposefully kept her tone no nonsense and business-like. Anything softer and Killian would break down completely. And if Killian broke down, she would break down and no one needed that at the moment. “You must go to bed,” she continued. “Now. I will care for Alice.”
He didn’t respond. He was literally asleep while still on his feet. Ruby took charge, directing Graves to get Killian into bed while she took over the sickroom, trying desperately to contain her gasp of dismay when she entered the room and saw her small niece.
She was so tiny and pale on the bed, but her skin was flushed and her half-lidded eyes were glazed as she thrashed around, mumbling incoherently.
Ruby mopped her brow, turned her, and helped the maids change the sheets when they became drenched with sweat. So focussed was she on her charge, that she didn’t notice when the sun slipped below the horizon. She just thanked God that little Alice didn’t worsen under her care, because according to the servants, Killian and Emma hadn’t left her side for two days straight, and Ruby didn’t think she could survive having to wake them with bad news.
She sat next to the bed, read aloud from her niece's favorite book of Fairy Tales, and told her stories of when her father was a boy. She didn’t think Alice heard a word she said, but it kept her from sitting still and doing nothing. It wasn’t until Emma rose from her stupor around eight that evening and asked about Graham that it occurred to Ruby he might be worried about her. She immediately penned a hastily scribbled note and sent it on to Romney Hall before resuming her vigil. Graham would understand.
~*~*~
By eight o’clock, Graham was forced to the conclusion that one of two things had happened. Either his wife had left him, or she was dead on the side of the road in a carriage accident.
Neither prospect was terribly appealing.
He didn’t think she would leave him. The argument this afternoon notwithstanding, she seemed happy in their marriage and she hadn’t taken a bag with her, but then again, most of her belongings hadn’t yet arrived from London, so she wouldn’t be leaving much behind. Nothing but a husband and two children.
And good God, he’d just told them he thought she was here to stay.
No. She wouldn’t leave him. She didn’t possess a cowardly bone in her body and if she were truly unhappy in their marriage, she’d tell him to his face. Without mincing words and with great vehemence.
Which meant that he’d likely find her on the side of the road. It had been raining steadily all evening and the road between Romney Hall and My Cottage was not well tended to begin with.
Hell, it would be better if she had left him.
But as he strode up the front walk to the door of My Cottage, soaking wet and in a terrible mood, it was looking more like Ruby had decided to abandon him. Abandon them.
“Temper,” he mumbled to himself. Because he’d never been closer to losing his.
Perhaps there was a logical explanation, he thought as he slammed the knocker against the door. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to ride home in the rain. It wasn’t that bad, but it was more than a drizzle.
Maybe her carriage had broken a wheel. No, Killian would have sent her home in his carriage then. He lifted the knocker again and banged it against the door multiple times.
Maybe…
Maybe…
He tried to think of something, anything, that might explain why Ruby was at the home of her brother instead of her own. He couldn’t think of a one. He reached for the knocker again, prepared to wrench it from the door and chuck it into the rain when the door finally opened.
Graves stood there, his mouth hanging open in complete surprise.
“My wife,” Graham growled.
“Sir Graham!” Graves, exclaimed.
Graham didn’t move, simply wiped the rain from his face.
“My wife,” he ground out again.
“She’s here,” Graves informed him. “Come in.”
Graham finally stepped inside. “I want my wife,” he said again. “Now.”
“Let me take your coat.”
“I don’t give a damn about my coat!” Graham roared. “Get me my wife!”
“Did you not receive Lady Humbert’s note?” Graves asked.
“No,” Graham informed him. “I received no note.”
Graves nodded. “I thought you’d arrived rather quickly. You must have passed along the road. Let me take your coat,” he said again. “I believe you’ll be here for some time and you will want to be comfortable,” the man said softly.
A fear he’d never known gripped Graham’s heart. Had something happened to Ruby? He’d just found his children, he couldn’t lose his wife. As he followed Graves up the stairs, his heart and lips murmured silent prayers.
~*~*~
Ruby sat by her niece’s beside, hands clutched in her lap, murmuring, “Please. Please.”
The doctor had left for the second time that day declaring it “in God’s hands.” And if He was the only One Who could do anything about this, then He was the One to Whom she would appeal. When she wasn’t placing cool cloths on Alice’s head, or spooning luke-warm broth between her niece’s lips, that was.
She heard a noise from the doorway and turned to see Graham. Her heart leapt to see him and she flung herself into his arms, heedless that he was soaked to the bone.
“Oh, Graham,” she sobbed, feeling his strong warm arms around her. She was safe and she could finally let go of all the emotions she’d bottled up inside in order to be the rock Killian and Emma needed.
“I thought it was you,” he whispered.
“What?” she asked, drawing back and looking him in the face.
“Graves,” he explained. “He didn’t tell me anything as I was coming up. I thought something had happened to you,” he said, drawing her close again and kissing the crown of her head. “How is she?”
Ruby pulled back and turned toward the sickbed. “Not good,” she murmured.
Graham glanced at Killian and Emma, who’d risen to greet him. They both looked rather not good themselves.
“How long has she been like this?” he asked.
“Since Saturday morning,” Emma replied. Graham approached the bed and placed his large hand on Alice’s forehead.
He shook his head. “I can’t tell. I’m too cold from the rain.”
“She’s feverish,” Killian confirmed.
“What’s been done for her?” Graham asked.
Emma’s eyes widened with a desperate hope. “Do you know something of medicine?” she asked.
“We’ve kept cool cloths on her forehead, fed her broth, and warmed her when she grew too cold. Nothing seems to help,” Killian said hopelessly. Suddenly, Emma collapsed, crumpling to the floor sobbing.
“Emma!” Killian cried, falling down next to her and holding her as she cried. Graham and Ruby both looked away when they realized Killian was crying too.
“Willow bark tea,” Graham whispered to Ruby. “Has she had any?”
“I don’t think so,” she replied. “Why?”
“It’s something I learned at Cambridge,” he said. “It used to be given for pain before laudanum became so popular, but one of my professors insisted that it also reduced fevers.”
Ruby nodded and turned to her brother and sister-in-law. She marched right over and shook Killian’s shoulder.
“Willow bark tea,” she said matter-of-factly. “Do you have any?”
Killian just stared at her blinking for a moment before answering. “I don’t know,�� he stammered.
“Mrs. Miner might,” Emma said, referring to one half of the couple that had been caretakers of My Cottage for years. They had all but adopted her when she and Killian were here for nearly a fortnight while he recovered from his own fever after they’d been reunited. “She always has things like that. But they’re visiting their daughter and won’t be home for several more days.”
“Can you get into their house?” Graham asked. “I’ll recognize it if she has any. It won’t be a tea, just the bark. We’ll soak it in hot water. It might help bring down the fever.”
Emma wiped away her tears, her eyes bewildered. “You want to cure my daughter with the bark of a tree?” she asked.
“It certainly can’t hurt anything,” Killian said forcefully. “Come on, Humbert. I have a key to their house. I’ll take you myself.” Before they went out the front door, Killian stopped and looked hard at Graham. “Do you know what you’re about?” he asked quietly.
Graham looked him right in the eyes, and answered as honestly as he could. “I hope so.” He struggled not to squirm under Killian’s scrutiny. It was one thing to allow him to marry his sister, given the circumstances, but it was something altogether different to allow him to pour some concoction down his daughter’s throat.
But Graham understood. He had children, too.
Killian nodded decisively and led him out into the night. As they strode through the rain, Graham could only pray that Killian’s faith in him wasn’t misplaced.
~*~*~
In the end, no one could really tell whether it was Ruby’s prayers, the willow bark tea, or just dumb luck, but by morning, little Alice’s fever had finally broken and while she was still pale and fatigued, she was without a doubt on the mend.
And by noon, it was clear that Ruby and Graham were no longer needed, and were in fact, just getting in the way, so they loaded into the carriage and began the journey home where they planned to fall into bed to simply sleep.
The first ten minutes of the ride was spent in silence. Surprisingly, Ruby found herself too exhausted to sleep and she couldn’t summon the energy to talk, so just looked out the window at the passing countryside.
It had finally stopped raining about the time Alice’s fever had broken, which may have spoken to the Divine intervention Ruby had prayed for, but as she looked at her husband, who sat with his back against the side of the carriage, his legs stretched out across the bench on the other side with his eyes closed - though Ruby was quite sure he wasn’t asleep - she knew without a doubt that it was the willow bark tea.
She didn’t know how she knew. But she did. And when she thought about the circumstances surrounding the entire situation - Ruby’s uneasiness about Nurse Ratched, the fight with Graham, her flight to My Cottage, Graham coming after her - young Alice Jones was quite the luckiest little girl in all of England.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“For what?” Graham said, his eyes remaining firmly closed.
“For Alice.”
Graham opened his eyes then and met hers. He shrugged. “There’s no way to know. It might not have been willow bark.”
“I know,” she said, with certainty. “You were an answer to my prayers.”
Graham’s lips lifted in a tired smile. “You always do know.”
Ruby smiled back and thought to herself how wonderful it was. Just this. The easy comfort and familiarity of being with someone, that one just knew was right. Right where one belonged.
Ruby reached across and placed her hand on his. “It was so awful,” she said, surprised when she realized there were tears in her eyes. “I can’t imagine what Emma and Killian were going through.”
“Nor can I,” Graham whispered, squeezing her hand.
“If it had been one of our children…” Her voice trailed away as she realized. It was the first time she’d referred to Ava and Nicholas as theirs.
Graham was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, he didn’t look at her but continued staring out the window. “The entire time with Alice,” he whispered, “all I could think of was how grateful I was that it wasn’t Nicholas or Ava.” He looked at her then, guilt written all over his face. “But it shouldn’t be any child.”
“There’s nothing wrong with such feelings,” she assured him. “They make you a good father. A very good father, I think.”
He looked at her oddly for a moment and then looked down at where their hands were still clasped. “No, I’m not,” he said gravely. “But I hope to be better.”
Ruby’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You were right,” he said, looking back up at her. “About Nurse Ratched. I didn’t want anything to be wrong, so I paid no attention, but you were right. She was beating them.”
“WHAT?!”
“With a book,” he continued, his voice perfectly level. “I walked in and she was beating Ava across the back with a book. She’d already finished with Nicholas.”
Tears of sorrow and anger filled Ruby’s eyes. “I never dreamed. I should have seen. I should have known.”
Graham scoffed. “If I didn’t see in the months she was living with us, how could you have seen when you’d only been there a fortnight?” he asked.
Ruby was silent for a few moments. “I assume you dismissed her,” she said.
Graham nodded. “I nearly threw her out the door myself when she wasn’t moving fast enough.”
Ruby snorted. “If you hadn’t, I would have,” she said.
“I told the children you’d help find a replacement,” he said.
“Of course!” she exclaimed.
“And I…” His voice trailed away for a moment and he looked out the window before he continued speaking. “I’m going to be a better father,” he whispered. “I’ve spent years pushing them away. Always afraid of becoming like my father.”
“Graham,” Ruby cajoled. “You couldn’t possibly be. You are so different from your father.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “But I thought I could. I got a whip once. I went out to the stable, blindingly angry, and got a whip.” He dropped his head in his hands and Ruby’s heart broke for him.
“But you didn’t use it,” she said with certainty.
“But I wanted to,” he confessed.
“But you didn’t,” she repeated.
“I was so angry,” he said again, as if he didn’t even hear her, too lost in his own memory. But then he looked at her and something in his eyes was shattered and Ruby wanted nothing more than to gather him close and heal all those jagged edges inside him. To make him see himself as she saw him - a flawed man, yes, but a good and honorable one, too, who’d never hurt his children the way he had been. “Do you understand what it means to be frightened by your own anger?”
Ruby shook her head.
“I’m not a small man, Ruby,” he said. “I could hurt someone.”
“So could I,” she reasoned with him. He sent her a dry look and she shrugged. “Well, maybe not you, but I’m certainly big enough to hurt a child.”
He snorted and turned back to the window. “You would never do that.”
“And neither would you.”
He was silent and understanding dawned on Ruby. “Graham,” she began. “You said you were angry, but… who were you angry with?”
He stared at her, slightly dazed. “Ruby,” he said. “They glued their governess’ hair to the sheets.”
“Oh, I know,” she assured him, “I’m quite certain I would have throttled them myself had I been around when it happened. But that wasn’t my question.” She stopped and waited for him to respond. When he didn’t, she clarified. “Were you angry with them about the glue? Or were you angry with yourself because you couldn’t make them mind?”
He didn’t say anything, but that silence told her more than any words could.
“Graham, you are nothing like your father.”
“I know that now,” he said softly. “When I discovered what Nurse Ratched had done, you have no idea how much I wanted to rip her limb from limb.”
Ruby snorted. “I can imagine,” she said. “I would have wanted to do the same.”
Graham felt his lips twitch. There was something comforting and almost funny about their similar thoughts and feelings about the matter. It felt quite good.
“She deserved nothing less,” Ruby continued. “But you didn’t touch her, did you?”
“No,” he replied slowly in realization. “And if I could keep control of my temper with her, I could certainly keep control of it with my children.”
“Of course,” Ruby agreed. She patted his hand and then sat back, looking out the window.
She had such belief in him. It was an utterly foreign concept. She truly had faith in his inner goodness, in the quality of his soul, when he’d been wracked with guilt and worry for so many years.
“I’d thought you left me,” he blurted out.
She turned back to him, surprise written all over her face. “What? Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he shrugged, “Perhaps it was because you left and didn’t come back.”
Ruby rolled her eyes at him. “It’s perfectly clear now why I was delayed, and besides, I’d never leave you. You should know that.”
He raised a brow at her. “Should I?”
“Of course you should!” she exclaimed, her green eyes beginning to flash. “I made a vow on our wedding day, and I can assure you, I don’t take that lightly.” She was silent for just a moment before she continued, her tone and indignation ramping up with each sentence. “And the children! They’ve already lost one mother, through no fault of their own. Did you really think I’d make them go through all of that a second time? You know me better than that.” She turned to him with a supremely irritated expression on her face. “I cannot believe you thought that of me!”
Graham was beginning to think the same thing himself. How could he have thought that of Ruby? He’d only known her… Dear God. Had it really only been two weeks? In many ways, it felt like a lifetime. Because, he was quite convinced, he did know her. Inside and out. And he should have known better than to think she’d abandon their marriage.
It was the panic. That was all. Panic that she might really have been killed somewhere on the road. If that had truly been the case… He wasn’t prepared for the stab of agony in his heart at the thought.
When had that happened? When had she come to mean so much to him? He’d told himself, and her as well, over and over again that he married her to be a mother to his children. But when she’d mentioned the vow and that her commitment to the children was too strong, he’d felt a stab of jealousy.
Jealous. Of his own children.
He wanted her to want him. Not because she’d made a vow, but because she couldn’t live without him. Perhaps because she loved him.
Somewhere in the passion - in the intoxication of the pleasure of her touch, the sounds of her moans and gasps, in the force of his own pleasure when he exploded inside of her - she’d touched his heart. And changed it.
Changed him.
He loved her.
He hadn’t been looking for love. Hadn’t even given a thought to it, but there it was. And it was the most beautiful and precious thing imaginable.
He was at the dawn of a new day. A new chapter in his life. It was both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. He did not want to fail. He couldn’t. Not when he’d just found everything he needed. Ruby. His children. Himself.
It had been years since he’d felt comfortable in his own skin. When he could trust his own instincts. When he could look at himself in the mirror and not avoid his own gaze.
They were pulling up at Romney Hall. A footman appeared to help Ruby down. She turned to him and smiled gently.
“I’m exhausted, and you look the same,” she observed. “Shall we go up and take a nap?”
Graham looked up to the third floor nursery for a moment before turning back to his bride.
“You go on ahead,” he said. “I’ll be along in a bit. Right now, I think I want to go hug my children.”
Ruby smiled and turned to enter the house.
When she woke, many hours later, she was surprised to see that Graham’s side of the bed was undisturbed. He’d been just as exhausted as she was, but perhaps instead of sleep, he just needed time to himself to think after the difficulties of the last few days.
Just because she didn’t prefer solitude, didn’t mean that everyone agreed with her. It didn’t mean that Graham agreed with her.
They were two very different people, and if she was going to live with him as his wife, she was going to have to make some concessions to his personality and temperament, just as he was doing the same for hers.
She didn’t see him the rest of the day. Not when she took tea in the afternoon, not when she tucked the twins into bed, not when she ate her lonely supper. After her obligatory two bites of pudding, she got up, not wishing to prolong her meal any longer, fully intending to retire to her bed. But as soon as she left the dining room, she knew she wasn’t ready to sleep yet.
She walked, somewhat aimlessly, through the house until her feet carried her to the portrait gallery. She hadn’t been inside it since that first night after she’d arrived at Romney Hall. She opened the door and gasped in surprise to see Graham sitting in the chair, just staring up at the portrait of Jacinda with the children.
He gave no indication that he’d heard her. Just continued staring, the look on his face bleak and so full of sorrow that it nearly broke Ruby’s heart.
Had he lied to her when he said he’d never loved Jacinda? Never felt passion for her? No. He hadn’t lied. She knew it in her marrow.
But what did it really matter? Jacinda was dead. She was in no way in competition for Graham’s affections. And it wasn’t as if Graham loved Ruby anyway. And she certainly didn’t lo…
But in one of those flashes of insight that might as well knock the breath out of one’s lungs, Ruby realized, she did.
She thought back on the last two weeks - had it really only been two weeks? - wondering when it might have happened. Wondering how it happened. But this feeling she had for him, the affection and respect, had grown into something deeper. And oh, how she desperately wanted Graham to feel the same way.
He may need her - of that she was quite sure, both in the physical aspect of their marriage, but also in the caring for the household and the children - but she wanted him to love her the way she loved him.
She loved the way he smiled, the boyish grin that spoke of secrets and mischief, and as if he couldn’t quite believe in his own happiness. She loved the way he looked at her, as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She loved the way he actually listened to what she had to say and how he wouldn’t let her cow him. She even loved the way he told her she talked too much. Because he always said it with a smile on his face. And she loved the way he still listened to her after telling her she talked too much.
She loved the way he loved his children. She loved his honor, his honesty, and his sly sense of humor. And she loved the way she fit into his life and the way he fit into hers.
It was comfortable. And it was right.
This was where she belonged.
She loved him. She needed him. Not a dead woman.
As she watched him looking at the portrait, his words from yesterday finally sank in. He’d said he hadn’t laid with a woman in eight years.
Eight years.
Jacinda had only been gone fifteen months. If Graham had gone without a woman for eight years… Ruby did some mental math. They hadn’t shared any physical intimacy since the twins had been conceived. No, that wasn’t right. It would have been shortly after the twins were born. Just a little bit.
It was possible that Graham was mistaken about the dates, but somehow, Ruby didn’t think so. She thought Graham knew exactly when the last time was, and now that she’d pinpointed it as well, she realized it must have been a terrible experience indeed.
But he hadn’t betrayed her. Hadn’t betrayed her or his marriage vows. He’d remained faithful to a woman who’d banned him from her bed. Ruby wasn’t really surprised, given his honesty and integrity, but she wouldn’t have thought less of him for seeking physical comfort elsewhere.
But the fact that he hadn’t… It made her love him all the more.
Ruby stepped forward and cleared her throat. She was surprised when he quickly turned his attention upon her. She’d believed him so lost in thought that he wouldn’t realize he was no longer alone. He held out his hand to her and she stepped toward him and took it, turning with him to face Jacinda’s portrait.
“Did you love her?” she asked quietly.
“No.” And even though she’d asked the question before, and received the same answer, the relief she felt at the simple affirmation was profound.
“Do you miss her?”
“No.” He was silent for a few moments, just continued to stare at her portrait. “She was sad. Always so sad.” Another pause. “It was worse after the twins were born. The midwife said it was normal for women to cry after childbirth, but not to worry. It would disappear in a few weeks.”
“But it didn’t,” Ruby murmured.
“It was like she sank even further into herself,” he said quietly. “Almost like she disappeared.” His throat worked and his eyes blinked rapidly as he tried to formulate the words he wanted - no, needed - to say. “She rarely left her bed. She never smiled. And she cried. A great deal.” He finally turned to Ruby and looked her square in the eyes. “I tried everything to make her happy. Everything in my power. Everything I knew. But it wasn’t enough.” His eyes filled with tears and Ruby cupped his jaw with her other hand. “It wasn’t enough,” he whispered.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Ruby said. She may not have known Jacinda as an adult, but she knew Graham and she knew her words were true.
“Eventually I just gave up,” he admitted, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “I was so sick and tired of beating my head against a wall. All I could do was try to keep the children away from her when she was really bad. They loved her so much.”
“I know,” she assured him.
“She was their mother. And she didn’t… she couldn’t…”
“But you were there,” Ruby said fervently.
A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “And a fat lot of good it did them. How terrible is it to have one bad parent? And my children were born with two…”
“You are not a bad father,” Ruby said, the vehemence in her words surprising even her.
“It hurt so much,” he whispered.
“What did?”
“When she died,” he explained. “To try so damned hard for so many years and never succeed. To never be able to break through to her.” He turned and looked at her again. “I just needed someone who was happy. Who would be there for the children. Someone who wouldn’t…” He cut himself off and turned away.
“Someone who wouldn’t what?” she asked, sensing that his answer was very important, indeed.
“She didn’t fall in the lake by accident,” Graham whispered. Ruby gasped. He’d told her Jacinda had died in the lake, but she assumed it was an accident. She never thought that her cousin might take her own life. “She walked straight into the water. And I didn’t reach her in time.”
“Oh, Graham,” Ruby breathed. “I’m so sorry.” She was truly, even if Jacinda’s death had made her own happiness possible.
“You don’t understand,” Graham snapped. “That’s not what I meant. You don’t know what it’s like to feel trapped. Hopeless. Stuck. To try so hard and never, ever, break through. I tried. Every single day, I tried. I tried for me. I tried for her. I especially tried for Nicholas and Ava. Everything I knew. Everything everyone told me to do. Nothing worked. I’d try, and she’d cry. I’d try again and she’d do nothing but dig herself deeper into her damned bed and pull the covers over her head. She lived in complete darkness with her curtains drawn and then on the first sunny day in weeks,” he turned to her, eyes blazing, “she goes and kills herself.” He laughed, a short bitter thing. “After all of that, she had to ruin sunny days for me too.” He rose from the chair and looked at the portrait again. “I tried so hard,” his voice, filled with resignation and regret, trailed away for a moment. “And still, every day, I wished I was married to someone else. Anyone else.”
He turned to look at her again, and the tears were gone, replaced with a vehement passion that took Ruby’s breath away.
“Yesterday you said we had a problem,” he said, taking her hand.
“No, that’s not what I meant…” she tried to interrupt, but he kept speaking as if he didn’t hear her.
“You said we have a problem,” he repeated. “But until you’ve lived through what I’ve lived through - until you’ve been trapped in a hopeless marriage, with a hopeless spouse, until you’ve gone to bed for years wanting nothing more than the touch of another human being…” He looked down at their joined hands and gently rubbed Ruby’s knuckles with his thumb. “Do not tell me that we have a problem. Because to me,” he choked on his words but kept on going, “to me, what we have, this - us, - is heaven.”
“Oh, Graham,” she breathed and threw herself into his arms, her own tears soaking his shirt.
“I don’t want to fail again,” he choked out, burying his face in her neck. “I can’t. I won’t.”
“No, you won’t,” she assured him. “We won’t.”
“You have to be happy,” he said. “Please tell me…”
“I am. I promise,” she vowed.
He pulled back, cupping her chin with his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. Looking for the truth of her words.
“I am happy, Graham,” she repeated, covering his hands with her own. “More than I ever thought possible. And I am proud to be your wife.”
Graham’s lower lip began to tremble and the tears reappeared in his eyes again before they began streaming down his face.
“I love you, Ruby,” he breathed. “And I don’t even care that you don’t feel the same…”
“Oh, Graham,” she cried, cutting him off, and wiping his tears away, even as her own continued to fall. “I love you, too.”
Graham crushed Ruby to him, his lips meeting hers in a passionate dance of love felt and reciprocated. He picked her up, bridal style, his lips never leaving hers and carried her through the halls to their bedchamber.
He lowered her to the bed and pulled back, pulling off his clothes in haste as Ruby did the same.
“I need you, Ruby,” he said, laying down beside her. “I need you like I need to breathe. Like I need food, water.”
“Yes,” Ruby moaned. “I need you, too.” All she could do was reach for him and give herself to him with all that she was. She couldn’t speak, could barely breathe as he touched her, kissed her, sending her higher and higher until her tears couldn’t be held back any longer.
“Don’t cry,” he soothed, brushing one away.
“I can’t help it,” she cried, her voice shaking. “I just love you so much. I didn’t think… I’d hoped… but…”
“I know,” he assured her. “I never thought it would happen to me. I think I’ve waited my entire life for you.”
“I know I’ve waited my entire life for you,” she said cheekily. She rolled on her back, drawing her with him until he was nestled between her legs. “Don’t go slowly,” she urged.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said as he surged into her, filling her completely.
They moved together, but it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t gentle. It was fire. And a tempest. And total reckless abandon. Both of them reaching for that peak that seemed just out of reach, until they reached it together in a cascade of ecstasy that made Ruby arch, lifting them both from the bed with the power of her completion and Graham roar her name as he emptied himself into her.
Ruby collapsed back to the mattress, Graham’s weight pinning her down. Not that she minded in the least. She loved these moments, when they were both too spent to move. She loved the weight of him, the smell and taste of the sweat on his skin after their lovemaking.
She loved him.
It was that simple. She loved him and he loved her. And it was all she needed.
~*~*~
The next week would forever be remembered by Ruby as the most magical of her life. Nothing special happened - no birthdays, no unexpected guests, no extravagant gifts.
But on the inside, everything changed.
The well of happiness was overflowing and seemingly without end. And she could sense the same thing inside of Graham as well.
She woke one morning, pleasantly sore in all the right places, to see Graham, fully dressed, sitting at the foot of the bed simply watching her.
“Good morning,” she said, sitting up and tucking the sheet around her naked breasts. “What are you doing there?”
“Watching you,” he said, an indulgent smile on his face.
Her mouth dropped open in surprise, and she felt her cheeks heat. “That can’t possibly be very interesting.”
“On the contrary,” he replied, “I can’t think of anything that would hold my attention for so long.”
Her blush intensified and she wondered if perhaps she’d be able to convince him to join her in the bed again. But then she remembered he was already dressed and had probably done so for a reason.
“I brought you a muffin,” he said, holding it out to her. She thanked him and began eating when he spoke again. “I thought we might go on an outing today.”
“Really?” she asked in surprise. “You and me?”
“Actually, I thought maybe the four of us.”
Ruby froze, the muffin halfway to her mouth. To her knowledge, this was the first time Graham was reaching out to his children, rather than setting them aside and hoping someone else would see to them.
“I think that’s a lovely idea,” she breathed.
“Good,” he said, rising to his feet. “I’ll leave you to your morning routine and inform that poor housemaid that you bullied into being their nurse that we’ll be taking them for the day.”
“I didn’t bully her… exactly,” Ruby protested feebly. Mary hadn’t wanted to take the position of nursemaid, even on a temporary basis, none of the servants had. Ruby couldn’t really blame them after the debacle with their former governess, but for that reason, Ruby had extracted a promise from the twins that they would treat Mary with the respect due to the Queen, and so far they’d held up their side of the bargain.
Ruby glanced up and saw Graham just standing in the doorway, not moving.
“Graham?” she asked. “What is it?”
He turned to her, his eyes a bit bewildered. “I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing going on in the village today, no fairs or events, I mean. What should we do?”
Ruby smiled gently at him. “Anything at all, Graham. All they want is you.”
Two hours later, Graham and Nicholas were standing outside the Larkin’s Fine Tailor and Dressmaker in the village of Tetbury, waiting somewhat impatiently while Ruby and Ava finalized their purchases inside.
“Did we have to go shopping?” Nicholas whined.
Graham chuckled. “It was what your mother wanted to do.”
“Next time, the men get to choose,” he grumbled. “If I’d known having a mother meant this…”
“We men must make sacrifices for the women we love,” his father informed him, patting him on the shoulder. He looked inside the shop window and saw that the ladies didn’t appear to be anywhere near finished. “But as to our next outing,” he whispered conspiratorially to his son, “I agree whole-heartedly.”
Just then, Ruby poked her head out. “Nicholas, would you like to come in?”
“No!” he said vehemently, shaking his head for emphasis.
“Allow me to rephrase,” Ruby replied, not missing a beat. “Nicholas, I would like you to come in please.”
Nicholas turned pleading eyes upon his father, making Graham chuckle. “I’m afraid you must do as she says.”
Nicholas grumbled under his breath as he climbed the steps, but just before he entered the door, he turned back to his father. “Aren’t you coming?”
Hell no, Graham almost said, but he bit his tongue just in time. “No,” he said instead, “I need to stay out here and watch the carriage.”
Nicholas’ eyes narrowed. “Why does the carriage need watching?”
“Yes, you need to come in as well, Graham,” Ruby said sweetly. Graham groaned. “You need new shirts.”
“Can’t the tailor just come out to the house?”
“Don’t you want to pick the fabric?” she asked.
“I trust you implicitly,” he said. Ruby frowned at him, and Graham sighed. “Very well, I’ll come in.”
“Thank you,” she said, leading them both inside.
Graham found himself on the ladies side surrounded by bolts and yards of frilly and lacey, sparkly and shiny. He felt about as comfortable there as he did in formal wear.
Ruby kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear. “When Ava comes out, make a fuss.”
“I’m not very good at that sort of thing,” he said quietly.
She smiled up at him. “Learn,” she said just as quietly, then turned her attention to Nicholas. “And now for you, Master Humbert. Mrs. Larkin…”
“I want Mr. Larkin, like Father,” Nicholas protested.
Ruby looked at him, surprised. “You want Mr. Larkin? The tailor?” she asked. Nicholas nodded. Ruby was silent for a moment, pondering his request and Graham could see Nicholas start to squirm with impatience and anxiety that she might deny him. “Very well then, off you go.”
Nicholas wasted no time at all and all but ran into the other side of the shop. Graham leaned over to his wife.
“You are good,” he praised, whispering in her ear.
A small smile pricked the corners of her lips. “Yes, I am,” she agreed.
Not a moment later, a blood curdling howl reached them and Nicholas ran back in. Straight to Ruby, which left Graham feeling a bit bereft. He wanted his children to run to him.
“He stuck me with a pin!”
“Were you squirming?” Ruby asked, not bothered in the least.
“No!”
“Not even a little bit?”
“Maybe just a tiny bit,” he said, sheepishly.
“Right then. Don’t move next time,” Ruby said briskly. “I can assure you Mr. Larkin is very good at his job and if you don’t move, you won’t get stuck with a pin. It’s as simple as that.”
Nicholas looked up at his father with pleading eyes, and as nice as it was to be seen as an ally, he couldn’t contradict Ruby in front of his son like that. But then Nicholas surprised him. He walked back toward the other side without complaint and then turned back toward them for a moment.
“Father, will you come with me? Please?”
Graham opened his mouth to reply, but then had to stop, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He couldn’t speak. He was, quite simply, overcome.
It wasn’t just the moment - the fact that his son wanted him to accompany him in this male right of passage - but it was the absolute confidence and assurance that if he followed his son to the other side, he’d know the exact right thing to say and do when they got there. He wasn’t his own father. He could never be. And with Ruby by his side, he knew he could do anything. Even manage the twins.
Graham laid his hand on his son’s shoulder. “I’d be proud to go with you, son.” He cleared his throat of the hoarseness that had crept in, then bent down to his son’s ear. “The last thing we need is women on the men’s side.” Nicholas nodded in agreement.
Graham rose back up, but before he could take a step, he heard Ruby clearing her throat behind him. He turned toward her, but his gaze came to a stop and his eyes widened as he saw his little girl all dressed up in a lovely lavender frock, showing just a hint of the woman she’d one day become.
For the second time in as many minutes, Graham’s eyes filled with tears. This is what he’d been missing. In his fear, in his self-doubt, he’d been missing this. His children, growing up without him.
Graham patted Nicholas’ shoulder, letting him know he’d be right back, and walked to Ava’s side. Without a word, he took her hand and lifted it to his lips.
“You, Miss Ava Humbert,” he said, his heart in his words, in his smile, in his eyes, “are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”
Ava gasped in surprise and blushed under his praise. “But what about Mother?” she asked.
Graham knelt by her side and looked over at his bride, whose own eyes were filled with tears. “I’ll tell you what,” he said, quietly. “We’ll say that your mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, and you are the most beautiful girl. And someday, when you’re all grown up, you can believe that your mother is the most beautiful woman, and I’ll still say that you are.”
And later that night, when he kissed the children on their foreheads and tucked them into their beds, Ava whispered.
“Father?”
“Yes, Ava?”
“This was the best day ever.”
“Ever,” agreed Nicholas.
Graham smiled down at them. “For me as well.”
~*~*~
It started with a note.
Later that night, as Ruby finished her supper and her plate was cleared away, she realized there was a small folded note underneath. Graham had excused himself a few minutes earlier, claiming that he needed to locate a book of poetry they’d been discussing during the meal. So once she was alone, she unfolded the note and read the words contained within.
I have never been good with words.
And then, at the bottom of the paper,
Proceed to your office.
Puzzled, but intrigued, she rose and made her way to her office. There, she found another note in the center of her desk.
But it all started with a letter, did it not?
Then followed instructions to take herself to the sitting room, which she followed, being very conscious to keep a sedate pace instead of breaking into a thoroughly inelegant run. The next note was found on the center of the sofa.
And so if it started with words, it ought to continue with them, too.
This time she was directed to the front hall.
But there are no words to thank you for all you have given me, so I will use the only ones at my disposal, and I will tell you the only way I know how.
This time, she was to proceed to her bedchamber.
Ruby headed up the stairs, her heart thumping in excitement and anticipation. This was her final destination, she was sure. Graham would be waiting for her, to take her hand and lead her into their future.
It had all started with a note. A short, but heartfelt note of condolence, that had led her here. To a love so full and all-encompassing, Ruby had trouble containing it. She reached the upstairs hall and stepped forward toward her room, where the door was just slightly ajar.
She pushed it open with shaking hands and gasped.
For covering the bed were flowers. Hundreds and hundreds of blooms of every variety and color, some clearly out of season, from Graham’s special collection. And written in blossoms of red, against the backdrop of white and pink petals…
I Love You
“Words aren’t enough,” Graham said softly, stepping out of the shadows.
She turned to him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Speechless?” he asked, with a smirk. “You? I must be better at this than I thought.”
“I love you,” she whispered, choking on the words. “I love you so much.”
His arms came around her, and as she rested her head on his chest, his heart beating under her cheek, he rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Tonight the twins said that today was the best day ever,” he said softly. “And I realized they were right.”
Ruby nodded in agreement.
“But then I realized they were wrong.”
Ruby pulled back, a question in her eyes.
“I couldn’t choose a day,” he said, looking down into her eyes. “Any day with you, Ruby. Any week, any month, any hour.” He tilted her chin up and brushed her lips with his gently, but with all the love in his soul. “Any moment,” he whispered. “As long as I’m with you.”
The End
~*~*~
Thank you all for coming along on this journey with me!!! I so hope you enjoyed it and would love to hear what you thought!!! Happy birthday, Marta!! Love you!!!
#to sir graham with love#chapter nine#krystal writes#art by motherkatereloyshipper#birthday fic for marta#red hunter fic#major ouat fic rec ❤️🐺❤️#such a talented shipmate ⚓️🩷⚓️
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This so cute, and I'm so touched you enjoyed my little oc being present, that I wrote you this little moment of Lan Xichen and Yu Mengwan together after Chengzhan's wedding in Silence. Thank youuuuuuu so much!🥹 🤲 *ugly crying noises*
Lan Xichen let out a sigh too loud to be ignored. Watching his little brother set off for weeks of night hunting right after his wedding left him with tangled feelings. The soft expression of happiness on Lan Wangji’s face stretched his lips into the smallest of smiles and sprinkled glittering light into his eyes. Rarer than blue and red moons, calmer and more threatening than both as well. Next to Clan Leader Jiang’s bright grin, cutting across his face until his teeth were bared in laughter instead of a growl for once, no one would once again pay attention to Lan Wangji’s subdued happiness. Only this one person looked at Lan Wangji with all his might, and Lan Xichen tried only to linger on that.
He didn’t have trouble smiling back as Lan Wangji bowed his final goodbye and rode off on horseback with Clan Leader Jiang. That heavy heart of his forced him to watch them grow smaller and smaller in the distance. It wasn’t torturing him anymore, it wasn’t painful, but a heart needed more time to let go of some people. Lan Wangji had always enjoyed night hunts, travelling, wandering the world and taking in its wonders and plights. Lan Xichen had always enjoyed receiving his letters, never more than a few sentences, and a gift from his travels attached from time to time. Now, would he still receive letters from his brother?
“Zewu-Jun.”
Clan Leader Jiang’s second in command had approached him, clasped his hands in a quick, friendly greeting. Yu Mengwan had been appointed as second in command only recently, and was now already in charge of the entirety of Lotus Pier in Clan Leader Jiang’s absence. He smiled as if that responsibility was joy, not a burden, and a little flutter of the heart was unavoidable.
“You’ve been standing here for a while. Would you come and join me to show you a better view?”
Lan Xichen smiled back. His heavy heart could still flutter, perhaps it could soar again sooner than anticipated. “I’d be happy to. Lead the way.”
Yu Mengwan offered him a smirk void of mischief to cling to, then led him away from the gates of Lotus Pier. They crossed bridged walkways, water full of lotus flowers glistening beneath their feet, and headed through courtyards full of wedding decorations. Lotus Pier had bloomed under them, and the disciples and servants all indulged in taking in the sight once more, before joining efforts to take them down together.
Yu Mengwan was chatting as they walked towards the lakes. It was always good to have someone around that was great at telling stories, that could take the mind to different places when it wanted to hide. Lan Xichen listened to all the stories as intently as possible. Listened to which rooms Clan Leader Jiang had rebuilt, which details in the carvings he had been particular about, where he had been fed up with delays to the point of hammering a roof into place himself. He listened to which places Lan Wangji had enjoyed to spent his days at when he had visited Lotus Pier for a prolonged amount of time last winter. How he had taught little Young Master Jin horse riding here, archery over there, and scouted an instrument for music lessons right there.
Apparently, another roof had fallen victim to the snow and Lan Wangji had fixed it together with Clan Leader Jiang. This was just something Lan Wangji indulged in at times, when he saw the need for a helping hand, he extended it until his arm was pulled and nearly torn off. Clan Leader Jiang didn’t seem like the person that would sit on a rooftop in winter to fix wood and frames, but looking up at the room Yu Mengwan pointed at, Lan Xichen could see the shape of his brother, joined by his now-husband, and he hoped they had looked as happy as his mind painted them.
“These piers, too,” Yu Mengwan said as they walked out towards the lakes. “They were scorched and broken when we returned to Lotus Pier after the Sunshot Campaign. Supplies and workers were limited, so we all worked on it together. Oh, watch out if you ever go to the eastside. Whoever put those planks together thought all people can float over those giant gaps between them.”
Lan Xichen raised his hand to cover his laughter behind his sleeve. The railing here was steady enough to lean against, which Yu Mengwan made a point out of showing him as he casually leant against it to present the view of the lake. Perhaps not worth another laugh, and Lan Xichen gave it anyway.
“Good work,” he said and patted the railing, as if it had put itself together, and that was ridiculous enough that Yu Mengwan should laugh back at him, not just smirk.
“Thank you, Zewu-Jun. Up until… this part over there, I built it all by myself.” Yu Mengwan ran his hand over the smooth railing like he, too, was praising it for holding together so well for many years. “So, naturally, I think it has the best view in all of Lotus Pier. What do you think?”
Lan Xichen settled his hand on the railing, smooth and without the danger of possible splinters, and looked out over the lakes. From where they were standing, nothing obscured the view all the way to the other shores, no houses, no pavilions, no boats, only the vast horizon. In the golden sunlight, the water gleamed more beautiful than jewellery. The thick green leaves of the lotus flowers around them were covered in sparkling dewdrops, healthy and strong, without bitemarks from water spirits on them. In the coming months, they would bloom splendidly, surely.
“What a beautiful view to enjoy while working,” Lan Xichen said. “I hope to see more of it in the summer.”
“Nothing will stop you from visiting,” Yu Mengwan said with that hint of his smirk almost teasing, quite distracting from the view. Quite some foolish flutters of the heart.
“Oh, I’m sure there’s no need to worry,” Lan Xichen said quickly. “This isn’t a prison, after all…”
Yu Mengwan squinted at him for a moment, then took it as a joke, which most people at Gusu-Lan were not skilled at. “You looked quite pitiful, staring after your brother, as if you’d never see each other again, so I wanted to make sure,” he said, just like this. “I’m aware there were some disagreements between you, your brother, and Clan Leader Jiang. But it’s settled now, and you know…” He looked down to the pier, poked the tip of his boot at the small gap between the planks where the lake water was dragged past them by the gentle winds. “Water under the bridge.��
“Oh? Why do I feel like you have to talk to a child, Yu Mengwan?” Lan Xichen asked with a smile, too appreciative for the advice to make his reply sound insulting.
Yu Mengwan seemed to take no offense, had given none either. “Don’t most of us enjoy when someone talks to us like they worry? And too few people try and encourage us to do better after a certain age, hm?”
Lan Xichen smiled, because yes, at some point, teachers seemed to never guide you anymore. Apart from Jin Guangyao, who now had too many people to worry about, only his brother had never stopped. And now, with Lan Wangji leaving him, who would find him early in the morning in a cold room and drape a cloak around his shoulders, sit quietly next to him as he answered correspondence, play the qin to ease his mind?
Lan Xichen noticed that he had nervously tapped the smooth railing and been watched. He quickly smiled and stopped treating wood as if it was an instrument’s strings, worth a melody long past.
“I know that it’s sometimes hard and sometimes not so hard to let a brother go, I do,” Yu Mengwan said. “Oh, believe me, my brother would be over the moon if he didn’t have to see my face every day. I hope you didn’t feel offended hearing him serenade the moon the other night. He was a little tipsy.”
“I saw you blocking Clan Leader Jiang’s view when your brother was drinking under the kitchen table,” Lan Xichen said, because he couldn’t help himself. Not when Yu Mengwan made such an endearing pained face as if someone had caught him and not his brother drink from the giant jar of wine under the table. “It seemed Clan Leader Jiang only pretended he didn’t see.”
“Brothers,” Yu Mengwan said through clenched jaws, expecting reassurance, and Lan Xichen gave it instinctively, his heart fluttering, hoping for another smile, and when relief washed over that handsome face, the smile returned. Thankfully.
A little foolish, but no one there to judge foolishness and flutters. Lan Xichen clung to the railing and leant just a little closer, lowered his voice just a little.
“You and your brother,” he asked, slowly and carefully, almost whispering his words, as if they were sharing a secret, “have been staying at Lotus Pier for a while now. Perhaps you feel unrest… and yearn to travel soon?”
Yu Mengwan crossed his arms on the railing, right next to his grip, and leant right into his space, eyebrows raised in question. “What do you mean to ask?”
He wasn’t too sure himself. “By now, it’s almost certain Clan Leader Jiang’s second in command is destined for greater adventures the moment they’re appointed. Your predecessors married quickly only a few months later and returned to their homes. Do you… well. Someone like you… I’m sure, well, you have many options.”
“Me?” Yu Mengwan chuckled as if that was the only funny thing about Lan Xichen’s embarrassing stutter of words he had immediately regretted. “I don’t plan on getting married. And I don’t plan on leaving my home here. When you ask whether my brother and I will ever return to Meishan-Yu, then I cannot speak for him, only for myself. Lotus Pier is my home now. I decided to follow Jiang Cheng during the Sunshot Campaign, and I have seen nothing that will change my mind.”
“Oh?” Perhaps sometimes a mere sound implied a thousand questions.
“I know Jiang Cheng since he was a child. When we trained with the spiritual whip, my brothers and I, he was dashing through the gaps, jumping over and around them, until we had to tie him up, and he still demanded to train with us. I remember him fighting, leading, rebuilding. I remember the blood on his face and hands, and I stopped thinking that this is only a child I knew once. That was Clan Leader Jiang now, who would do anything to keep us safe, stain his hands before ours, even when others would judge him for his actions. All of our wrongs and rights built this shelter we have now. We made ourselves a new home at Lotus Pier, all of us together. I’m not leaving it. I’ve worked so hard for this position. The heavens, the earth, hell can all try and take it from me. Let them come.”
Lan Xichen smiled, listening to this confession of loyalty, and even when his heart felt heavier again, it wasn’t stopped from soaring straight out of his chest, leaving him warm all over. His smile felt like it reached place it hadn’t reached in a long time, and Yu Mengwan did smile back at him, his face seeming a little redder than before.
He pushed himself off the railing and rubbed the back of his neck, almost shyly, cleared his throat. “I also remember your brother when he was a strict little boy, disciplining boys three heads taller than himself. He was far from polite refusing to eat my steamed buns. I even had some without meat for him. Just to remind you.”
“I don’t need reminding. My uncle fondly remembers Wangji’s first time punishing someone, three heads taller than himself. He loves telling the story.”
Yu Mengwan let out a pained chuckle, as if he was about to burst into tears at the memory of that strict child standing tall next to his kneeling figure, reciting the regulations to hammer them into his brain with unrelenting calm.
“It’s hard to remember your brother ever was a child,” Yu Mengwan said.
Lan Xichen nodded. “Sometimes…”
Yu Mengwan glanced at him for a moment too long, then patted the railing next to Lan Xichen’s hand, a little close, a little too far away. If he stretched his pinkie finger now, he could find out if that hand that had built this railing was rough or soft, cold or warm, a little of both perhaps.
All those flutters of his heart had taken his sanity from him, apparently.
“Hanguang-Jun isn’t easy to read, and I don’t assume many people aside from you and Clan Leader Jiang can, but I hope when you remember how happy it made all people at Lotus Pier to have him around, you can rest assured that we’ll look out for him. Oh, I’ll write to you when he eats a steamed bun I made, would that be alright with you?”
Lan Xichen smiled, tapped at the smooth railing and looked into the sky after his fluttering heart, soaring in the sky among that flock of swallows between the clouds. He nodded.
“Do keep me posted,” he told the lakes. “I look forward to correspondence from Clan Leader Jiang’s second in command.”
“Then I’ll –”
Loud trampling sounds, as if a horde of cows had burst onto the piers, made them both turn. Three children ran towards them, two pushing and pulling each other in their attempts to be first, the one behind them laughing, attempting to walk as fast as possible.
“Young Masters, slow down!” Yu Mengwan blocked the children’s way and crouched in front of them, arms outstretched so that they couldn’t make it past them.
Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi nearly toppled over each other. Behind them, Lan Sizhui stopped as well and bashfully looked at his feet, as if Lan Xichen would scold him for running now.
“Yu Mengwan!” Jin Ling put his hands on his hips. “You are slacking off again, I will tell Uncle!”
“But what if I tell him first that you’re running on the pier, hm?” Yu Mengwan also put his hands on his hips, while Jin Ling seemed to ponder the consequences carefully.
Lan Jingyi looked ready to smack him over the head, looked up at Lan Xichen, then at Lan Sizhui, and then decided to also look bashfully at the pier. “We won’t do it again, Zewu-Jun. Please don’t tell Hanguang-Jun.”
“We were practicing,” Lan Sizhui said. “By jumping over the gaps between the planks.”
“When Uncle and Hanguang-Uncle come back, I want to fly to greet them,” Jin Ling exclaimed with such determination, Lan Xichen chuckled softly.
“Then we’ll practice together,” Yu Mengwan said to the cheers of the children. Jin Ling was jumping at him suddenly, wanting to be carried on his back. Lan Jingyi stumbled after, pulling at Yu Mengwan’s other arm and at Jin Ling at the same time, until no one could have guessed if he wanted to pull Jin Ling away or climb on Yu Mengwan’s back as well. “Slow down, I can’t carry all of you!”
“I can carry one of you,” Lan Xichen said.
“Oho!” Yu Mengwan grinned up at him with that teasing smirk that could have disarmed an army, then turned to the children. “Who of you is brave enough to ask Clan Leader Lan, Zewu-Jun, infamous member of the Venerated Triad, for a ride, hm?”
Jin Ling used Yu Mengwan’s robe to hide, Lan Jingyi froze as if time had stopped for him, and Lan Sizhui stepped forward, soft smile on his face. He reached for Lan Xichen.
“I am,” Lan Sizhui said, holding out his hands as the other children gasped. “Carry me, Zewu-Jun?”
Lan Xichen smiled back, that group of people too happy not to. He let Lan Sizhui climb on his back, while Yu Mengwan heaved two children on his shoulders. For a moment, he swayed as if he was crumbling under the weight, and Lan Xichen reached out to steady him, right before Yu Mengwan caught his balance dramatically. Jin Ling laughed as if it was an old joke between them. Even if it wasn’t necessary, apparently, Lan Xichen kept his hand close to Yu Mengwan’s back in case any would fall, stumble, even sway again.
“Hold on, Young Masters,” Yu Mengwan said and started to speed up, away from Lan Xichen’s hand. He had to walk faster to keep close. Up. “Let’s see if we can win a race against Zewu-Jun and A-Yuan, hm?” He grinned at Lan Xichen, only a heartbeat for a silent question, and dashed ahead like an arrow shot from a bow. The children yelled and cheered him on, and Lan Xichen ran after all that noise, Lan Sizhui clutching at his neck much like Lan Wangji had as a child, the only difference the bubbling laughter hitting his neck.
At Lotus Pier, running wasn’t forbidden, and surrounded by such laughter, it was quite fun. Lan Xichen caught up after a few steps, the pier just large enough to run next to each other, so there was no need to race ahead. Indulge himself once, feel an elbow brushing his, and letting a laugh escape into the symphony of shouts and cheers.
a completely self-indulgent portrait sketch of Lan Xichen and Yu Mengwan, Jiang Cheng’s second in command from Silence Withered in Spring by @limitbreaker23
#sobbing crying screaming#it's my oc!!!#he lives!#and he's so handsome of course lxc must steal a look#I love that you gave him his little smirk-smile#and blushy face#he was overwhelmed in that scene#lxc trying to hide a chuckle behind his sleeve looks so adorable#his hair piece is also gorgeous and delicate and so beautiful#massive disclaimer is that yu mengwan wouldn't leave lotus pier for anything or anyone#jiang cheng never made him sic despite him being quite suited for it because he was betting on him going home again#everyone left jiang cheng after all#bless yu mengwan for being a career driven loyal dude🤣#he will always be sic in all my post-seclusion fics#30 years later jc looks at him bringing correspondence in and asks “still here hm?” ymw replies “huh?” and lwj shakes his head at them#I do have too long backstories for all ocs even if they only appear for one paragraph and I love recycling them#you can find all of them walking past all the time unnamed in other fics#fun fact for that is that I actually am very fond of lxc and lady yao but that is a different story#nobody asked limit#ramblings#lan xichen#yu mengwan#wedding shenanigans#juniors for good measures#sometimes people asked why lan jingyi wasn't there for the wedding but of course he is#he came with his parents and is having a fun time crying over lwj in red and trying to run when zewu jun isn't looking#(he might've stolen chicken from the kitchen)
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completed : i literally don’t even have words, this is the sweetest gift ever😭 one can’t hug through internet but i would give you the biggest one if i could🫂🫂 you really hit it! i’m smiling so hard while reading! juyeon is so cute, so sweet so perfect im🤧🤧 im such a sucker for strangers to lovers im in love! the coffee scene is just so cute! the little philosophical segments and then whiny juyeon right after *screams into pillow* its way too good😭 you incorporated it all so lovingly, i feel so loved ( i feel so special~~~ ) im so touched you wrote this for me izzy 😭 here’s some flowers to express my gratitude 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
moments i saved :
that’s canon girl😭 the moment i saw juyeon i knew it was over for me
way too real
AHHHHH he’s so vxthdsdg
can’t remember the first time i saw juyeon but that was probably my first thought
blushy juyo blushy juyo!!!
he’s so cute i’m tudtixgofticutdtiitditdiydy
AHHHHHHHHHHH
YESSS FISH WHAT A WONDERFUL CREATURE YOU ARE
*philosophical thumbs up*
When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend's orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above. Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. "I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this." Your boyfriend's smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, "She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!"
and now i’m hungry😭 kimbap is so tedious to make! damn fourth minutes before i get to eat it🤧 either way still good
please the last comment🥹🥹 the way juyeon would probably say that lol
"Okay, you cute clingy baby." Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. "I'm just joking around with you." To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn't help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn't let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.
he’s so itctidtifitciy sulky juyeon how i love you🤧 hes so romantic im gcoyfyoycoy
A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about-not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you're determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip's position on yours.
romantic cat romantic cat!!!!
The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more. "Who's the clingy one now?" That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. "The love of my life and the only one for me," he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. "I love you, bubs."
at this point i have no words
So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened. "I love you more." But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee. Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon. And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, "Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life."
*grabs heart*
every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon
pairing » the boyz lee juyeon x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything)
trope/au » strangers to lovers, non-idol au!, university au!
genre » mostly hurt/comfort(...?), mostly fluff, a pinch of angst (i always say this but i'm kinda confident in this statement this time lmao), deep reflection on life and aspects of the earth, juyeon who basically falls in love with you at first sight, juyeon being kinda confident towards reader, picnic date by the beach after finishing you last exam!, comforting boyfriend chef (not actually his occupation) lee juyeon!
word count, estimated reading time » 2249, ~8 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader didn't sleep well, reader uses caffeine to battle tiredness, the slightest of academic difficulties (it's just a dash imo), deep thoughts of sea and sky life (not an expert in this field at all), mentions of open water/vast landscapes in the thoughts
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'
i swear that banner changes colour before my very eyes. because i do understand that it's bright and at first glance, you can barely see the water on the bottom right. but when i change tumblr to a lighter mode, stare at fading wind lines near the top of the image for some time, my eyes adjust and the water becomes very obvious. i think it depends on colour context because on dark mode, it's hard for the 'effects' to kick in. is it just me...? it's messing with me...there has got to be a study about this somewhere...😭 anyway!
(i accidentally released this earlier so for those who saw anything: no you didn't!! 😭)
happy birthday to you @littleroaes !! ngl i was gonna give up on this birthday present but then i was scrolling through and found this little wip and tried to modify it to what you like. i was gonna do f2l like you mentioned you like but my brain stopped making ideas for that as soon as i told myself to write about it 😭 so here's my very first short story on strangers to lovers that thankfully you have appreciation for 🫶 from your profile, i read you like fishes, the colour blue, kimbap, spring rolls and of course, lee juyeon!! 😸 so i tried my best to incorporate these prompts here. i tried something different for the fishes 🐟 topic but i hope this incorporation is fine 💙
here is your boyfriend that will get you through uni! hope you have the happiest birthday!! 🎂🎉 love you!! mwah!!
Everything changed for you when Juyeon walked into your life.
No, literally.
Well, maybe not…literally.
You remember the prominent eyebags you’ve carried for the last month since university started. The new semester has weighed you heavier than the headache that is arising from the lack of sleep and the missed attempt to get your daily caffeine content since you slept through your alarm. At the very least, you’re thankful that everything is now electronic because you are so unprepared to be commuting to campus with a heavy mind, heart, eyelids and straps on your shoulders that would surely give you a very sore back.
That day started horrendously. You really thought that the alarm was the only thing that the universe threw at you for their entertainment but it was the embarrassing fact that you dozed off during class. Your elbows were propped up too comfortably against the desk and the perfect temperature of the lecture room didn't make it any easier for your natural melatonin to kick in. The next thing you knew, your palms cupped your cheek and there was this loud bang that was accompanied by the sharp pain on your cheekbone when you hit the wooden desk.
Everything is going awesome and you just attracted around a hundred students back to you. Thankfully your lecturer didn't take it to offense and shot you an emphatic smile.
You guessed then after that the universe felt bad for the negative attention that you got and they canceled the next class on your filled weekly schedule. Usually, you would be annoyed at the sudden change but this gave you a little hour to bask in the sun, the open green space and your favourite cup of beverage wrapped protectively by your hands.
Only to find out that you left your wallet at home.
“I’m sorry,” you said to the worker who tried her best to reassure you and to take your time as your frantic fingers ran through the items in your bag.
Your knees fell to the ground and sweat started to creep against your forehead and to the side of your head, a silent reminder to be mindful of the long line of students who are mostly probably just as stressed as you are in their university journey. The lighting above you helped with your sight in your receipt-filled bag but suddenly, the long papers with their minuscule printings became hard to read and a deep voice stated his order.
At first, your instinct was to defend yourself, tell the person who cut in line and added an order between you and your caffeine to wait a little bit longer but his choice of words registered into you before you could voice out anytime.
“I'll add an iced Americano with the order, please.” And then the familiar beeping sound of a successful transaction rings.
Your neck cranes up towards the stranger that only made your day easier and you couldn't help but let out a gentle gasp. A sharp pair of eyes yet soft and curious like a cat, his perfectly shaped nose and the slight upturn of the corner of his lips with the smile that beams down on you.
The chain necklace around his neck dangles above you and you were sure it hypnotised you to say, “It's an angel.” These were your first words to Lee Juyeon.
“Ah,” the recipient of the compliment could only blush first at your words, a hand sneaking up to mindlessly scratch his nape. “We should at least get out of the line.”
Now it's your turn to have your cheeks heat up at the realisation that you're blocking everyone else’s caffeine intake.
You thought that maybe Juyeon would just walk away and wait for you to join him on the other side of the table with the hanging ‘Pick up orders here' sign hanging from the beige ceiling. Yet, he crouched and helped you sort out your materials, collecting your pencil case and books into one arm, the other swiftly scooping up the straps of your bag along his other forearm.
Your eyes couldn't help but widen at your empty hands, and you were flustered at how he was still holding onto your things even when the customer who stood behind him joined you both after paying. Juyeon’s bangs shook when he refused to give your things back, insisting that you should be the one to carry the coffee instead.
“Coffee is important.” He convinces you with that warm smile of his. “Don't drop it!”
With the promise to pay him back for another cup, came a few promises to help with common subjects and overlapping knowledge. And with time, came the fluttering feeling in both your hearts that only grew when you comforted each other in the long nights leading to assignments and exam periods that came all too quickly but passed by excruciatingly slow.
Juyeon made it all worth it though. You walked out of the last two-hour prison of the semester to be greeted with your usual reward packed in a paper bag. If it was anyone else but Juyeon, the contents of the bag would be mushed as you hug it close to you but it's the person that you have missed so much that gets your love first.
“You called me last night, bubs,” Hearing his voice not through the help of technology is more refreshing and you couldn't help but tighten your hold around his figure.
“Every day is missing Juyeon day.”
“Well for me, every day is a happy day when you're in my life.”
It's a line that he has said to you many times even before he started dating you. Juyeon tried to make the line more interesting each time but one day, mixed with his tiredness and excitedness of finally seeing you, it became the line that revealed his adoration for you.
Hand in hand, Juyeon's thumb caressing the back of your palm, your right arm closely stuck to his left, you both sway and skip to the nearby beach to relish in each other’s company with nature. The light salty breeze scent hits you before you can even see the gigantic natural blue space that seems endless and seamless with the blue sky. As your outfit becomes one with the direction of the wind and the sun is still bright enough for you to know even when your orbs are hidden beneath your eyelids. It’s the little moments like these that the Earth seems to be so rich in beauty and life becomes beautiful although you’ve been studying endlessly for the past three months.
You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the body of water that eventually begins to seep into your view as you walk up the small hill. You imagine the school of fish including the friendly dolphins to the misunderstood sharks and all the shapes and sizes of the life forms in there, some dependent on their family whilst some choosing to live alone.
That’s why you’ve always been so enamoured by the living, along with the sea plants that they harmoniously live with.
You wonder what kind of thoughts these creatures have as they live in a world much bigger than the land you stand on and if they ever want to explore the whole ocean like most people would love to see the landmarks scattered across the world. If they visit the landmarks of the ocean, would they even remember it? Or would they just swim away, finding it more than satisfactory with the fact that they’re free, especially those who swish through the water with company?
Same with life in the sky, do they ever get tired from flying? Like some people who are scared of a large body of water but are already mid-journey, how do they persevere in their flight and keep going? Do they sometimes look at human transportation and hope that they could bask in that luxury as well? Sleep in the moving vehicle and relax your tense muscles against the cushioned interiors even if it’s just for ten minutes. You want to know the answer to that and maybe, you’ll be able to learn something from the other life form.
You wish sometimes you would be one of them but it’s hard to say so as well because all forms of life experience different hardships and it’s impossible to generalise anything, nor is it truly fair to say one has it better than the other.
That’s when life becomes so complex and beautiful. The fact that you’re so small in the context of the horizon that stretched too far for you to see and comprehend, leaves you appreciating the small things in life.
For you, the arms encircling your middle remind you that no matter what hardships you face, you’ll be able to safely fall back onto someone. That you can freely cry without judgement and that life is lovely whenever he’s in it. Juyeon steals a kiss from your lips before placing another one on your cheek. Your eyelashes flutter open and you swear that Juyeon’s smile is brighter than the sun that smiles down on you both and louder than the crashing waves against the eroding rocks.
And whenever he asks you, “Feeling better?” You know that Lee Juyeon is the one person that you can answer the question truthfully and genuinely.
You both settled with a picnic blanket underneath a substantial amount of coverage from the sun by the park near the beach, the crashing ocean waves still in sight. You observe the tree above you dancing freely in the winds while the birds seem to sing for both of your accomplishments.
When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend’s orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above.
Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. “I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this.”
Your boyfriend’s smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, “She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!”
“Okay, you cute clingy baby.” Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. “I’m just joking around with you.”
To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn’t help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn’t let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.
A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about—not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you’re determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip’s position on yours.
The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more.
“Who’s the clingy one now?” That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. “The love of my life and the only one for me,” he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. “I love you, bubs.”
So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened.
“I love you more.”
But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee.
Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon.
And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, “Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life.”
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'
tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o
#littleroaes — library archive 🏛️ ( i’ve read )#littleroaes — my tomatoes 🍅 ( recs! )#littleroaes — jewel collection 🌼 ( fav moments )#moots — <3#izzy — ☂️#lee juyeon imagines#juyeon fluff#lee juyeon#the boyz juyeon
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