#so this story isn’t me talking bad ab my mom- just the situation and the response i received | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

Text

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 3

Word Count: 6,077

POV: Jamie and then switches to reader

Warnings: Language that’s about it for this one.

Notes: Here we go on Part 3. Hope you guys are enjoying this little story. As always feedback is welcomed, good or bad. Happy Reading!

Ruined Masterlist

JAMIE'S POV

Standing there in the kitchen, rooted to the same spot you were just twenty-four hours ago, you still couldn't believe all that had happened. In that short span of time, you'd learned that not only was your new neighbor the woman who you first fell in love, and happened to still be in love with, but that she was also going to be your new team doctor. You spent most of last night tossing and turning in bed, trying to come up with a way to worm your way back into her heart, which seemed to be locked up as tight as Fort Knox against you.

She was still as stunning as ever and your hands still burned with the feel of her curves on your skin. To think that she was only a couple doors away and that you could be holding her again was sheer torture. (Y/N) had always been amazing, at least in your eyes, but now she was just even more. She'd gone out there and become one of the top orthopedic and sports medicine doctors out there, from what you'd heard from the Stars trainers. Why you were surprised, you weren't one hundred percent sure? In high school, she'd always been smart and at the top of your class, even if she made some poor choices once you'd broken up. Now though, she seemed to be doing everything right; except for maybe not giving you a second chance. You had plenty of time to fix that, if only you could come up with a plan.

You were interrupted from your thoughts, by four paws tapping on your kitchen floor. "Hey Ger, what are you doing here?" You said, as you bent and petted Tyler's youngest dog.

"We're going for a walk after you and I work out." Gerry's owner told you, as he sauntered in behind the pup. "Going to check out that new neighbor of yours. Well, ours really, since my house isn't too far away."

"Oh, no you're not."

Tyler's brow shot up in question. "Why? Have you met her or something? Does she have some fatal flaw I should be aware of?"

Your eyes practically rolled in your head at his comment. "No smart ass, she flawless, but she's also off-limits."

"Yeah, doctor husband or something like that. I'm sure he's gone all hours and she might in fact be bored. You know doctors are notorious cheats."

"And you're not?" It really was the pot calling the kettle black and all. Tyler just shrugged the comment off though. He never truly considered it cheating if he was in an open relationship, too bad the women he dated didn't feel the same way. "There is no husband."

"Perfect. But wait then who's the doctor?"

"She is."

Tyler's eyes got big as he let the information sink in. "So, she's going to be working on us." You nodded your head yes. "Even better. I'll definitely be a needy patient."

"No, you won't." Before he could even ask why you added. "She's also my ex."

"Wait a minute…hold up here. You have an ex that's a doctor. How did I not know this?"

"Because I didn't know she was." You see Tyler trying to put the pieces together and still not making them fit. It was a complicated situation, so you thought it best to help fill him in. "(Y/N)'s my ex from high school. She's also the first girl I ever loved."

"Wait, doctor neighbor is (Y/N)? As in the first girl you ever kissed and the first girl you ever fucked?"

"Who told you that?" As soon as you asked the question, you already knew the answer.

"Jordie, of course." Of course, it was your big brother. You should've figured he'd spill the beans about that to Tyler. "And according to him, you never got over her." You weren't exactly sure you wanted to admit that, so you kept your mouth shut, which apparently said more than actual words. "You ARE still in love with her, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

Tyler rubbed his hands together in a sinister way that told you he was up to no good. "Oh, this is going to be fun."

"No, it's not, because you're not going to do a damn thing."

"Who said I was? I'm just going to enjoy the show." The devious smirk on his face told you a different story.

"I know you…" you didn't get to finish that thought, as the front door opened and Gerry started to bark at whoever just entered.

"Hey Ger," you heard the recognizable voice of your brother Jordie. "Thought you guys would already be working out by now, but it looks like you're getting a late start."

"Only because this guy is too busy fawning over the new neighbor," Tyler commented hitting your shoulder and you punched him in the arm back. "Ouch." You hit him hard but not as hard as you really wanted to.

"New neighbor huh?"

"Yup, and she's a doctor." Tyler just couldn't keep his mouth shut, could he?

"So, she took the job huh?"

"Wait, you knew (Y/N) was coming here and you didn't tell me?" It was like you were back in high school all over again and Jordie just continued to find ways to torture you.

Jordie's hand wiped down the front of his face and pulled on his beard. He didn't need to answer you for you to know that he knew (Y/N) had moved to Dallas. "Justin mentioned she was offered the job, but he didn't know if she was going to take it."

"Why wouldn't she?" Jordie cocked his head to the side. "Of course, don't say it. It was because of me." A nod of the head was all the confirmation that was needed from Jordie. "Still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me."

"I didn't see a reason to tell you until I knew for sure, and I haven't talked to Justin for a bit. It's not like I just call him and up all the time and ask him about (Y/N)."

"Why didn't you tell me she was a doctor at least? You've obviously known that for a while."

Jordie blew out a frustrated breath. "Have you ever seen yourself when someone mentions her name?" You hadn't, but really you imagined you looked the same as you always did; so you simply shrugged at Jordie. "You look like Gerry when Tyler doesn't pay attention to him." You looked over at Gerry, who seemed to look rather pleased with himself, so you couldn't see anything wrong with that. "Scratch that. You look like Cash and Marshall, who are both sulking at home because they know Gerry is Tyler's favorite."

"Hey, I love all my children equally." Tyler protested though you knew Jordie was right in his assessment. Tyler's other two dogs were undoubtedly at home moping because he didn't bring them and would probably ignore Tyler completely when he got home. It left you wondering if you did the same anytime anyone mentioned (Y/N)'s name. Did you just go sulk in the corner when anyone brought her up? You threw your head back trying to think about the last time anyone ever said anything about her. It had been a few years, but you did remember your mom mentioning something about her and what did you do; you'd walked out of the room and went for a run not even choosing to listen to what your mother had to say.

The question now, was why did you do that? The answer was obvious, now that you'd seen her. You still loved her and it hurt. Fuck. At first, you'd done it to protect yourself, because you couldn't stand hearing about her being with another guy. She'd practically made the rest of her way through high school fucking other guys and it killed you, that someone else was touching her, kissing her, loving her. Well, they would never her love her like you did and that's what hurt the most, that she would give herself to some guy that wouldn't treasure her as you did. But then you hadn't cherished her as you should have. "Fuck!" You slammed your hand down on the counter.

"You're doing it again," Jordie called out after you, and you hadn't realized you started to walk away. Only this time you weren't leaving because you didn't want to hear what was said about her; you were running away from your feelings for her. You'd been doing that since the day the rumors started about her. It was time to stop running.

You turned back to Jordie and Tyler. "How do I get her back?" Tyler's eyebrows shot up, whereas a huge grin broke out on Jordie's face.

"About time you finally realized you needed to fight for her."

"I did."

"No, you didn't. You tried for a week, gave up, and have spent over a decade avoiding your feelings for her. That's not fighting for someone." Well, when Jordie put it that way, you really couldn't argue.

"Alright, but what do I do now?"

"That's a tough one brother. You've got a lot to make up for in her eyes."

"I already fucked up when I ran into her yesterday. She's never going to speak to me again."

"Unless you get injured and she has to," Tyler said and you both turned to him with an incredulous look. "What? It's true. She's the team doctor. She'd have to talk to you then." He wasn't wrong, but it seemed sort of underhanded, and the last thing you needed was her thinking you lied again.

"Not an option." You told your best friend. "She'll see right through it if it's a lie and I don't plan on injuring myself on purpose."

"Well, if there's anything good about the situation; it's that you've got time on your side." Jordie was right. You had a whole season to win her back, now all you needed was a plan to do that.

READER'S POV

It was twenty-four hours later and you still couldn't get Jamie Benn out of your head. Maybe taking this job was a bad idea. Why did he have to look so good after all these years? That beard, you had no idea that beards were your thing until you saw him in one. And those muscles, Jesus, when did he get those. The feel of his abs were still imprinted on your fingertips from trying to steady yourself when you'd run into him. This was not good, not good at all. You should not be thinking about Jamie, let alone in this way.

You unpacked yet another box, hoping to distract yourself from lustful thoughts of your ex who also happened to be the hot hockey player that lived just two doors down. 'Remember all the things he said about you;' you told yourself as you placed a vase on the end table in the living room. He'd ruined your reputation with just a few words and he could do it again if you didn't steal yourself against him. But damn, if he didn't look good, just standing there shirtless.

A knock at the door, thankfully interrupted your thoughts. You headed to the foyer to answer it and were surprised to see yet another bearded Benn staring back at you. "Heard you'd moved to town," Jordie said by way of greeting. "Thought we'd come by and welcome you to the neighborhood." It was then that you realized standing beside him was a petite blonde woman with the most inviting smile on her face.

"Hi, I'm Jessi." She held out her for you to shake.

"(Y/N), it's nice to meet you. Won't you guys come in?" You stepped aside and they followed you into the house. "Sorry, this place is a mess. I'm still trying to get things together since the movers left."

"It looks great," Jessi told you and you knew she had to be lying but it was still nice of her to try. "Believe me, I still have boxes I haven't unpacked from our move to Montreal and now we're heading to Vancouver."

"Well, I'd call it a win then." You shrugged and she laughed. "Less packing."

"For sure," she agreed. "This is for you. I wasn't quite sure about what to bring as a housewarming gift but I figured this goes for any occasion." She handed over a bag, which contained two bottles of very expensive wine in it.

"This is absolutely perfect. It's like you knew I needed this."

"I have a feeling we are going to be very good friends," Jessi told you, that warm smile gracing her face again. "Speaking of which, Jordie and I are having a dinner party tomorrow night before he heads out of town for training camp. It's small just about ten or twelve people. We'd love to have you."

The hesitation that you experienced inside, must have somehow transferred to your face, for the next thing you knew Jordie was trying to reassure you. "Before you saying anything. Yes, Jamie is going to be there, but it's my understanding that you two are going to have to deal with each other a lot. Might as well try and be friends." You knew that Jordie was right. Despite what had happened in the past, and Jamie's assumption about you being in Dallas; the two of you were going to have to get along.

"Plus, I will gladly smack him upside the head if he gets out of line," Jessi added and got the impression that she would definitely keep her word. "So, what do you say? It will give you a chance to meet a couple of the other players as well."

You took a deep breath in, weighing your options. On one hand, you could stay here and let the wounds of long-ago fester, or on the other, you could try and at least be cordial to one another, after all, you would be seeing Jamie on a pretty regular basis. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the impression that what was between the two of you so long ago bothered you enough to avoid him. "I say sure," you told them, an excited look crossing Jessi's face. "What time?"

"Dinner's at seven, but come around six, so we can have a few drinks?" She looped her arm through yours, then proceeded to head back to your front door. "Or earlier. I'd love to get to know you better. Give me your phone. I'll text you our address the minute we get home. It's not far from here. Oh, and dinner is casual, so shorts or jeans are fine."

"Sounds great. Can I bring anything?"

"Just yourself."

"Yeah, looks like you have enough on your plate here," Jordie said, which garnered a whack across the back of his head from Jessi. "Ouch."

"See, I told you I wouldn't mind smacking Jamie if he acts up." The two of you burst out laughing leaving Jordie to rub the back of his head. "See you tomorrow."

Thank god, you went into your new place of work the next day or you would've spent the next twenty-four hours worrying about seeing Jamie. As it was, you'd already changed your outfit three times. At first, you'd gone with a pair of jean shorts and a black button-down but then felt it was almost too casual if you were going to be meeting some of the other players. So, you changed into a sundress but that gave off the vibe you were trying too hard. In the end, you opted for white shorts and a navy peplum off the shoulder top. It was definitely casual but also a little conservative at the same time.

Even though Jessi had said to come earlier than six, you opted to go on time, not wanting to rush her of getting things or herself ready. Their place was fairly close to yours, so it took no time at all to get there. You rang the doorbell, and Jessi answered. "(Y/N), it's so good to see you again, come in."

"I wasn't sure what to bring, but I remembered this used to be one of Jordie's favorites." It was Jamie's as well, but you chose to ignore that fact.

"Oh, what is it?" She asked referring to the cake box you held out.

It was then that Jordie appeared. "Tell me that's not what I think it is?"

"It is." Jordie's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas before he snatched the box out of your hands and proceeded to head down the hall to the kitchen.

"Hey, Jame, you'll never believe what (Y/N) brought." Shit, Jamie was here already. You'd hoped you had a little time to maybe mingle with some other people before he showed up.

Jamie stood there, beer in hand and smile on his face, as you walked into the kitchen. His grin grew a little wider as you walked into the room, whether that was from the cake or you, you weren't sure. Before either of you could mutter a word, Jessi cut in. "Obviously, I'm missing something here. One of you needs to feel me in."

"It's only the best chocolate cake on the planet." Jamie finally chimed in. "Hi (Y/N)."

"Hi Jamie," you greeted him back, yet blushed from his words of praise about your baking skills.

"I swear it's why I called this guy Chubbs back in the day. He would literally beg (Y/N) to make this for him all the time." Jordie contributed to the background story of the cake.

"Hey, you used to eat at least half of it." Jamie teased his brother back and you realized you missed their easy banter back and forth.

"It's true, I did," Jordie admitted to Jessi as he opened the refrigerator to put the cake inside, remembering how it was always better cold. "Maybe I should put this in the other fridge and we don't have to serve it when everyone else comes."

"Fuck that." Jamie cussed and you had to laugh. "You're sharing that bad boy with me."

"Wow, I've never seen them get this worked up over cake. I'm wondering if we should just eat it now before anyone else comes." Jessi told you as she helped Jordie make a spot in the fridge for the box.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Jamie asked turning that intense gaze of his on you. It was one that always left you hot and bothered when you were younger, and apparently, it was still doing that to this day.

"A beer would be great," you finally managed to mumble out.

"They're out here," Jamie told you and you followed him out the French doors onto the patio where a small fridge held several types of beers. Without thinking he grabbed you a Molson and twisted the cap off. "Oh shit, force of habit, I guess. Did you want something else?"

"No, this is fine."

"Remember the time we stole Heather Thompson's last two Molson's at Eric's party." both you and Jamie burst out laughing.

"She went around accusing everyone, while we drank them in the backseat of Justin's car." You added, but then there was also more that went on in that backseat.

"And then she thought Justin took them and went after him." Both of you were having a hard time catching your breath and finishing the story.

"But she tripped and landed face-first in the mud."

Jamie gave a loud bark of laughter at the memory and you found yourself laughing harder with him. It was just like that night, only then his arms had been looped around you as you both tried to stifle your giggles and not give yourself away. "She was so pissed. I'm pretty sure she never spoke to Justin again." Jamie remembered.

"He should be thanking us for that." It felt good to just laugh with Jamie. You took a long sip of your beer and realized how easy it would be to fall back into old times with Jamie; too easy. The thought sobered you. Jamie smiled at you, and damn if your stomach and heart didn't do that little fluttery thing it used to do. Both of you just standing there staring at the other neither willing to look away. It was almost as if to do so would be admitting there were still feeling there between you.

"Ouch!" Jessi screamed from inside, breaking whatever silent feelings were passing between the two of you. You both scrambled inside.

"Everything alright?" Jamie asked just as you were about to.

"Jess, cut herself," Jordie answered as he wrapped more paper towels around her thumb as the blood seemed to soak through the ones she had on currently.

"Here, let me take a look." It was a pretty deep cut, but also clean. "You're going to need a couple stitches. I have my bag in my car if you don't want to go to the emergency room."

"I can't go to the emergency room. There's no time." She looked at you with pleading eyes. "Is it going to hurt though?"

A soft chuckle escaped your lips. "Don't worry, I'll numb you first, not just pull out a needle and thread." Jessi laughed a little with you, some of the tension leaving her face. "I'll be right back." It took about a minute to run out and grab your medical bag. Considering that you would be stitching up hockey players on a pretty regular basis, you had all the necessary equipment to throw a couple on Jessi's thumb. You moved her over to the small table in the kitchen that was cleared off and cleaned her cut thoroughly before numbing the area so she wouldn't feel a thing and getting to work. "How did you cut your thumb? A finger I can see, but your thumb?" You didn't really need to know though you wanted to take her mind off of things, as she was staring at you intently along with Jamie and Jordie.

"I was washing the last few things and didn't realize I'd left a knife in the water." By the time she answered you, you had all three stitches in. "Wait, you're done already? How did you do that so fast?"

"Practice, plus I sort of need to be fast to get these two back on the ice."

"I've never had anyone stitch me that quick before," Jordie commented as you wrapped up Jessi's thumb. You chanced a look at Jamie, whose warm brown eyes were even wider than normal watching you.

"You're good to go, though you're done in the kitchen for the night. Keep that dry for forty-eight hours if possible. You'll need to keep them in for about a week to ten days. Your doctor can take them out for you if you want, or I can just pop over some night if you want."

"Could you? I mean that would be great and so much easier with getting things ready to go to Vancouver, though you have to promise to come over before that. I owe you more than just dinner tonight." It was then that you realized no one else had shown up yet and you were beginning to wonder if Jamie had forced these two to invite you over for other reasons.

"You don't owe me anything," you commented cleaning up the table and putting things back in your med bag. "Though I feel like I must have got the time wrong. Was I early?"

"No, not at all. I wanted you to come early," Jessi answered. "I was hoping we could get to know each other better, though I didn't think that we would bond over you stitching me up." You both chuckled at that. "I'm definitely glad you were here though."

"Well, since I'm here, put me to work. What else needs to be done before people get here?" Jessi sent Jordie and Jamie out to man the grill, as you finished helping her get all the side dishes ready. Almost everything was ready, there were just a few last-minute things that you were able to do for her. The two of you developed a fast friendship and you were somewhat disappointed that she would be leaving in a few short weeks, though she assured you most of the girls on the team were sweethearts and that you'd probably get along with them. She was in the middle of telling you about Tyler's latest girlfriend when the two walked in, followed by another blonde who you didn't know.

"You can start the party now that I'm here," Tyler stated as he entered the house. This first impression of him told you he was going to be a handful if he ever got an injury. "Hello, gorgeous," he said kissing Jessi on the cheek as he came in. "And you must be the beautiful new doctor I heard a thing or two about." Tyler made his way over to you, kissing your cheek just as he did Jessi's. The boy was obviously a notorious flirt.

"Well, I hope it was all good."

"If it wasn't, I'll throw hands with whoever said anything bad. Well, make that a hand and some fingers since you already had to use your skills on me." Jessi told Tyler, and it was then that you noticed she'd not greeted either Tyler's girlfriend or the woman that came with them.

"Already putting the good doctor to work?"

"Yes, I cut my thumb," you stood there awkwardly awaiting an introduction to either of the women while Tyler and Jessi continued their conversation. "But (Y/N) here stitched me up in seconds literally. You guys are lucky to have her."

"Ah, good with your hands I see," Tyler said with a wink towards you, and you knew your first assessment of him was correct; he was a flirt. "And you make house calls it seems."

"Not to your place," Jamie's booming voice came from the doorway, making you jump a little.

"You're no fun Chubbs," Tyler pouted, while a serious looked crossed Jamie's face. You'd seen it numerous times when he was younger. It was a warning, that someone, this time Tyler, had pushed the issue too far and if it continued, he'd end up paying for it. Part of you wondered if he still had that death glare on the ice.

You were saved from it going any further when the doorbell rang and more people arrived. It ended up being the last five people for the dinner party, Alexander Radulov, Ben Bishop and his wife Andrea, and Jason Dickinson and his girlfriend Alandra. Jessi introduced you to all of them, yet still overlooked Tyler's girlfriend and friend. If she hadn't mentioned before he arrived that it was his girlfriend coming; you would've thought she was just the flavor of the week.

All the guys, and the two nameless women, headed out to the patio, while you, Jessi, Andrea, and Alandra stayed inside. You waited what you thought was an appropriate time, before saying anything. "So, I have to ask…um Tyler's girlfriend and the other one…was there a reason you didn't introduce us?"

"I don't like her," Jessi stated so matter of factly, that your jaw almost dropped. "Her name is Sara and she's only dating Tyler because she after his money." You thought she was done but she kept going. "And if she has her way, her friend will get her hooks into Jamie." You turned to look outside, where you found the other blonde watching Jamie flip steaks on the grill. She was definitely trying to flirt with him, it was obvious even from your view in the kitchen. Your gaze was so locked in on the two that it startled you when Jessi said, "Her name is Caitlyn." The name seemed to fit her. You knew nothing about her, yet you found yourself disliking her just for her name alone. Well, that and how she just nonchalantly stroked Jamie's bicep just now. "And I think it's time we see how those steaks are coming."

Jessi grabbed your hand and led you outside, along with Andrea and Alandra. "Hey babe, we're almost ready here," Jordie told you all. "How about you guys?"

"Just need to fix a few things on the table and we'll be good. I'll be right back." She ran inside, leaving you to seethe over the blonde Caitlyn flirting with Jamie. You closed your eyes blinking hard. Why did you care if she had her sights set on him? It would serve him right to get a taste of his own medicine, wouldn't it? You inhaled deeply. You weren't that person anymore, there was no reason to get back at Jamie Benn. You'd done that in high school, or at least your sixteen-year-old summation of getting back at him had, and look what it got you. Nothing, that's what. While you'd never fully trust Jamie again, you didn't wish him ill will; you were past that.

"You should really go save him, you know?" Andrea Bishop whispered softly to you, and you quirked your brow at her. "Jess told us you grew up with Jordie and Jamie. She'll probably back off if you go talk to him instead of us."

"Oh, I don't know."

"I'm sure he'll be extremely grateful." Did it matter if he was? Of course, you wanted your relationship, or at least your working relationship, to be amicable but did it need to be anything more? Helping him didn't mean that it had to be, the rational side of you reasoned. You nodded to Andrea, then headed over to Jamie.

"I hope you remember how I like mine done." Oh lord, you didn't mean it to come out like that. It seemed too intimate. Jamie, eyes sought yours as soon as the words left your mouth. "The steaks…I meant the steaks."

His eyes softened and his lips quirked up into that smile. The one that always seemed to melt your heart. "Medium well." He was right, of course. "I haven't forgotten anything that you like." The innuendo hung in the air, which seemed to suddenly grow thick, making it hard to breathe.

"So, like I was saying…" Caitlyn started, but Jamie simply turned towards you and gave you his full attention.

"How's Justin been? I haven't caught up with him in a couple years."

"He's good, married now."

"Jamie, did you know…" Caitlyn tried yet again.

"I heard that he did, to Alyssa Barnhart right? How's she for a sister-in-law?" Alyssa had honestly been a pain in your ass during high school. When you were promoted to captain of the cheerleading squad instead of her she'd made it her mission to make your world a living nightmare.

"She's grown up a lot, thank god. If she was still the same girl she was from high school, I think I would have to disown Justin."

Caitlyn totally abandoned Jamie, after making another attempt at stealing his attention and him blatantly ignoring her. Jamie leaned down to whisper in your ear. "Thank you, I thought I was going to have to light myself on fire to get her away from me." His warm breath tickled your ear and sent goose pimples rising on your flesh.

"Please don't do that. I've already had to use my suture skills tonight. I do not need to be treating third-degree burns for anything." You both laughed at the comment and fell into an easy conversation as he finished grilling, which didn't take him more than five minutes. But it was five minutes that you truly enjoyed in his company, and that was the most disturbing part.

At dinner, you found yourself seated beside him thanks to some suspicious place cards making their way onto the table. Alandra was on your other side, so you were able to get to know her much better. Both she and Andrea went out of their way to make you feel like part of the group and it seemed as though the three of you were going to be great friends, with Jessi bonding you all together.

By the time dessert was served, you found yourself smiling and laughing with Jamie more than you could've ever imagined. "I'm told that this is the best cake in Canada." Jessi declared as Jordie brought in the confection that you made. "I'm dying to taste it. Thank you (Y/N) for bringing this."

You blushed at her praise, for you didn't feel that it was that special of cake to warrant such praise. "It's honestly the best cake I've ever had," Jamie said, and you saw Caitlyn whisper something to Sara and you knew it had to be some devious remark. She was acting like a teenager, but then maybe she still was. You had no idea what her age was.

Jessi went to cut the cake, while Sara stood up from the table at the same time. "Here let me help you," Sara offered, then tipped her wine glass purposely. It was headed straight for the cake, but Jamie quickly scooped it up before the glass could fall, though the wine did go everywhere on the table. You quickly grabbed your napkin before it could spill on Jamie's lap, the action putting your hand right in front of his crotch. Your fingers were a hair's breadth away from touching him and you felt heat infuse your cheeks. Get it together, you told yourself. You're a doctor. It's not like you haven't seen or touched a man's penis before. You tried to regain your composure, then finished wiping up the mess.

"That was close," Jordie called out, and you weren't sure if he was referring to Jamie saving the cake or you almost touching his brother's cock.

"Maybe I should just cut that in the kitchen," Jessi said taking the cake from Jamie and moving to the island.

"I'll help you," you announced, following her so that you could get a little breathing room from Jamie. You could hear the conversation pick back up in the dining room, as you went to help your new friend.

"I loathe that girl," Jessi muttered the moment the two of you were alone.

"Which one?"

"Both," you both burst into a fit of giggles. "If Tyler wasn't like a brother to Jordie and Jamie, there would be no way either girl would be in my house right now." You understood her plight as you'd felt that way when Justin had announced he was dating Alyssa. Thankfully, she'd at least grown-up, whereas these two had a lot more of that left to do. "You know she dumped that glass on purpose because Jamie's paying attention to you and not her friend."

"I'm pretty sure they planned it together."

"True." You sliced another piece of cake as Jessi held out a plate for you to put it on. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What happened between you and Jamie?" It was the last question you expected and something must have shown on your face to say so. "I only ask because you two seem perfect together." You'd thought that too once, but that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"It's complicated," you finally told her.

"Hmm, Jamie said the same thing when I asked him before you came tonight." You cut into the cake with a little more force than necessary. It was sort of symbolic for Jamie had pretty much sliced through your heart all those years ago, though time had seemed to mend some of it; there were still some residual scarring left. "I get it," Jessi said. "But people change (Y/N). They make mistakes and they learn from them. They become better people. I know it's not something you want to hear, but I think Jamie learned a lot from whatever happened. Maybe it's time to bury the past and make a fresh start." She picked up a couple pieces of cake then started to head back to the dining room. "Just food for thought." It was more than just food for thought. It was a seven-course meal and you weren't sure you were even hungry. As if to prove you wrong, your stomach growled then.

#Ruined the series #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn imagines #jamie benn fanfic #Dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #dallas stars fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic

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seasonsofeverlark · 4 years ago

Text

Spreading Christmas Cheer

Author: @mega-aulover

Prompt: Everlark the movie Elf [submitted by @alliswell21]

Rating: G

Author’s Note: This is a story based off of the movie Elf as requested by @alliswell21 It’s from “Jovie” i.e. Katniss POV, what she would have seen and fell in love with one Peeta ‘Buddy’ Mellark.

Special thanks to @norbertsmom for her betaing skill and for the name of the story. Parts 3 and 4 will post separately.

_____________

Pt 1

I watch Peeta gently kiss the top of our first born’s head. Holly’s dark hair is braided into two plaits; her blue eyes closing softly.

“And Papa Elf said, grandpa was on the naughty list…” his voice is soft.

Suddenly Holly’s eyes widen as she remembers something. Her blue eyes are laser focused on Peeta. “Papá, es verdad que mamá estaba en la lista de los niños malos?”

“Y quien te dijo esto?” I ask from the door. We never discuss my role in Peeta’s adventure, or the fact that I was on the naughty list. Ever.

“Santa,” Holly says.

Ese gordo, Santa has loose lips. I think about teaching him about keeping secrets until it’s time to explain to our child about the past. But before I can say anything, Peeta gives me a look. He always knows when I’m having evil thoughts. I sigh, and redirect my thoughts, because Peeta made me believe in love, joy, and Christmas.

“Your papa saved more than grandpa that Christmas. He saved me too.”

Holly’s eyes lit up like her father’s before the sleepiness creeps back into their depths.

“Now go to sleep so Santa can come down the chimney.”

“Night, mama, night papa,” Holly whispers right before she drifts off to sleep.

Together we walk out of our daughters bedroom. Peeta slides an arm around my shoulders. He dips down and nuzzles my cheek. He steers me to the living room. I drag my feet. Peeta is up to something.

“Okay, spill it, Mellark.”

He gives me a wide eyed smile.

The hair at the back of my neck stands up straight.

He’s got that look, that please tell me a bedtime story stare, and not just any story.

“No.”

Peeta pauses and gives me a puppy dog look with a full lip pout.

“No.”

“Come on, Sweetums, my li’l sugar plum,” Peeta says in an excited whisper.

“No…no don’t waggle your eyebrows at me, Peeta. Buddy. Mellark.” I pronounce each one of his names.

Peeta’s grins so brightly; his eyes shine brighter than Christmas lights. His hat is slightly crooked as he hops and does that stupid little dance of his that makes me want to tear off his green tights. Yep, I said tights. My husband was raised as an elf, a six foot two, blond, wavy haired, giant with broad shoulders, washboard abs, and is genuinely sweet. Sweeter than eggnog.

He grabs me by the waist. “You know you wanna,” he says in that sexy time voice of his that’s reserved only for me.

Canasto!

I should clarify for everyone listening to my tale; you should know canasto isn’t a vulgar or bad word. It means basket. But I like the way it sounds in Spanish. So I say it with real vehemence. It’s like peaches in Spanish sounds like a curse word. Melocotón! Tu eres un Melocotón! Which translates into you’re a peach.

I digress.

I let out a big sigh. There’s no way I can say no to him and he knows it! Canasto!

“I love it when you tell the story of how we met from your point of view.“

"You’re an evil gremlin,” I say with no heat in my voice. It’s my personal nickname for him. As in the gremlins when they ate after midnight. However to be fair, if you see Peeta, he’s not scary at all, he’s more like a big teddy bear.

Peeta laughs and my heart flip flops. Because he is anything but; he is so congenial.

Peeta puts his hands on my belly, my very big belly. It’s baby number 2; actually it’s baby number two and three. They are counted as one until they’re born. I know what he’s doing, the evil gremlin! He’s trying to distract me because I’m due to give birth. I have mild pangs because I’m carrying twins and I’m nearing my due date.

He carries me and sits me on his lap. “Now start from the beginning.”

“From the candy cane forest?” I ask.

“No from your point of view,” his eyes dance gently as he rests me against his chest, rubbing my bulging belly.

“Okay,” I say quietly.

“Don’t forget to start with once upon a time,” Peeta insists, trying to contain his excitement.

“Once upon a time.”

“This is going to be good,” Peeta whispers.

“Are you going to let me tell the story?”

“Oh yea,” Peeta placed a kiss on my nose. “Go ahead.”

Closing my eyes I picture the year things changed. Because everything in my life was about others and never myself. I was always trying to be someone else, what everyone expected of me.

It’s hard being a foster kid, and getting out of the system is kind of like getting out of jail. Suddenly you have all this freedom, but you’ve been conditioned to follow all of these rules, so when you are free, you do one of two things. You get in trouble, and try to get sent into an institution; some of us call it the iron college. Or you try to keep your nose clean and learn in the school of hard knocks. In my case, I kept my head above the water for my sister’s sake.

“I love my family,” I muttered underneath my breath.

I muttered it again as my sister destroyed, no scratch that, mutilated Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas."

Did I forget to mention that I love my family?

I do. I love my family and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them, but at that moment I wanted to scratch my ears out with dull spoons.

My perfect baby sister is a smoking hot blonde runway model and the muse for Karl Lagerfeld, but she has the worst singing voice known to man. You want to torture someone, hire my sister, and have her sing to the person you want to torture. Within 3 seconds flat, she can have even the most hardened of spies spilling their guts like a canary.

The one thing I could not stand beside my sister’s singing was Christmas.

I loathed Christmas.

I was not ashamed to say it. Every fiber of my body I hated Christmas! If I had ever met the real Santa back then, he had better hoped that I was not holding my bow and arrow, because I would have shot him through the eye. Not that I believed in Santa then, but if I had known there was a real life Santa Claus, I’d have hunted him down, and burned the fat man’s jolly red outfit. I would then gleefully take a joy ride in his sleigh into his workshop like Bill Murray did in Groundhog Day when he allowed the groundhog to drive him off the cliff into a fiery death.

At this point you are wondering why I hated Christmas so much.

There were many reasons why the holiday was so contemptible to me. One, my father died on Christmas day. Two, my mother checked out on us that same Christmas day. The next Christmas Eve was when my sister and I were separated into different foster homes. It took me a few months to find my six-year-old baby sister. I had been sent to a foster family who used foster kids for slave labor, to have them wipe and clean their floors while the Mrs. of the family spent the whole day in luxurious spas and getting Botox treatments, as if that was going to improve her mug.

My baby sister was luckier. Primrose was placed in a foster home in the middle of suburbia with a 2 story house with a picket fence. A woman named Cecilia and her husband Ronald had never been able to have kids, and they doted on my sister. They brought her up to be the princess she always said she was. Honestly, they were rather shocked when my twelve-year-old cynical self rolled up into their home screaming for my baby sister, Primrose. Prim came running out of nowhere and latched herself on to my leg like an octopus. Best Spring ever, so I do love the Spring.

But before you think we were reunited, we weren’t. The family that had Primrose never wanted me. And even if they did, we technically didn’t have the same last name. Primrose carried my mom’s last name while I carried my dad’s. My sister was Primrose Emmerson and I was Katniss Everdeen. Our parents had a silly agreement. They were also foster kids, so they decided that I would take dad’s name and the next one born would take our mothers name.

They didn’t have family, and her parents lived a common law marriage. Their childish decision caused havoc. There was a mix up and we weren’t processed as sisters. Plus, I never stayed in the same foster home for long so even if they wanted me, they never knew where I was, but no matter where I was, I found a way to talk to Primrose, because as long as Prim was loved and cared for, my situation didn’t matter.

After our brief reunion, I had to go back to the family that I was placed in, and my sister stayed with her family. I didn’t stay with mine for very long; I became a statistic. A rolling number on someone’s computer screen. I was bounced around from one family to another in all sorts of seedy homes.

So you can see why I’m so jaded. Every bad thing that ever happened to me, has happened on that freakin’ holiday. And there was one more reason I disliked that holly jolly holiday so immensely. For some reason, the universe hated me.

No matter where I went, what city, what town within the state, I could guarantee you that it was a racket, a billion dollar racket to make parents crazy and buy things for their kids they didn’t need. For some reason, it pleased people to take my olive skin, dark hair, scowling self and put me into a sparkly Christmas cheer, “gag” pointy eared elf costume.

So with a week until Christmas, I was listening to my sister butcher another holiday favorite song. Then Prim screeched. And I sighed in relief.

"Katniss,” Prim said, coming out of the bathroom. “The water is cold!”

I looked heavenward. “The pipes. I forgot they’re working on the water main outside. They said there would be interruption to service.”

“Oh, you know I can get us a hotel room,” Prim said toweling dry her pale blonde locks.

My studio apartment wasn’t what my sister was used to. She was a freaking couture runway model, six foot one, so slim nothing off the rack fit her. “I’m sorry Prim, I was so excited to see you.”

Prim smiled. “Look, I only have a few hours left. How about I treat you to lunch before I go back up to Connecticut to spend Christmas with Cecillia and Ron.” Prim smiled at me. “You know you’re more than welcome to come. They always ask about you.”

I loved my baby sister. She was amazing. And I was damned glad that the Henderson's were an amazing couple, but I knew the score. They didn’t know what to do with me. “As long as you don’t mind me wearing my elf costume.”

Primrose chuckled. “You make the cutest elf though.” She patted me on the head using a baby tone with me. Prim was taller than me by a foot. I was tiny, or as Prim said, compact size.

“I could still put you over my knee, little duck,” I growled. “Así que mira ver.”

My sister laughed and she delighted in taunting me. Prim no longer spoke Spanish, but she understood the language. “You’re adorable when you’re angry, an angry little elf, aren’t you?”

“Primrose,” I said in Spanish. I rounded my ‘r’s’ when I said her name.

“Awe, I don’t don’t get why you hate Christmas so much.” Primrose winked going to the screen divider to get dressed. My sister was used to dressing and undressing in front of dozens of people. I, on the other hand, was not so free with nudity. Primrose said I was a prude. If I hadn’t I told her to use the screen, she would have changed right in front of me.

“Did you know there are only three jobs an elf can have,” Prim said from over the screen.

I sighed. Unlike me, Primrose loved Christmas. Hell, she even suggested that there might be a real Santa Claus. I told her the only people who look for ways to sneak into people’s houses were criminals.

Prim continued her story about elves. “The type of elves that live in trees and make cookies, the types that make shoes, and the best type.”

“Let me guess, Christmas elves,” I said, rolling my eyes.

Prim grinned. She came around the screen wearing thigh high red boots, jeans and a camel tunic sweater that looked like cashmere. “Come on sis, let me treat you to breakfast so that you can go terrorize the children of Macy’s toy department.”

Pt 2

Peeta grins excitedly, breaking the narration. “You know she’s right. Papa says the cookie elves have high insurance premiums because their tree catches fire all of the time.”

“Peeta,” I huff. “Do you want me to finish the story?”

“Absolutely,” he hugs me closer. “I’m so sad you and Prim never got to grow up at the North Pole with me.”

I can’t help but smile at his sincere wish. “Oh Peeta,” I kiss his cheek.

“The only thing I would never let you do was toy testing,” Peeta whispers.

I chuckled. Peeta hated Jack-In-The-Box’s. They scare the dickens out of him. I lay my head on his shoulders. “Are you going to let me finish the story?”

“You know,” he says, blue eyes twinkling. “I’d spotted you in the city that first day.”

“You were jumping across the lines of the cross walk, “ I grin at the memory.

“I followed you until I saw the Empire State Building. Then I went to see my father.”

“I know,” I caress his face.

“Start from that point.”

“Okay, you ready now.” My babies were moving in my belly.

“Right, you were in your father’s office delivering the most awkward Christmas gram.”

Peeta chuckles. “I don’t have your pretty voice.”

I sigh. “Peeta.”

“Right, I’ll be quiet.”

I give him a look.

“But just so you know, when those guards told me to go back to Macy’s, I was curious as to why you were dressed as an elf.“

I roll my eyes. Did I forget to mention my husband is a talker. He is a chatterbox. I swear Peeta is the type who’d make friends with a paper bag.

"I thought your elf name was so pretty,” he sighs happily.

“Peeta, if you want me to tell the story. You have to hush!” I admonish, if I didn’t we would be here until tomorrow.

“Oh,” he gushes. “Yes, tell the story.”

“So, there I was in the middle of New York, like a morsel in shark infested waters. I.E….”

“That passion fruit spray is horrible,” Peeta grumbles. “I do not know how women drink that stuff.”

I want to laugh. There are still things that Peeta doesn’t understand about human society; perfume was one of them, and that fact endeared him to me.

“Can you start at the moment our eyes met?” Peeta gives me a wobbly smile.

Ah, now I know why he’s interrupting so much. “Okay.”

Sighing I recall that day. Prim and I were out to breakfast. She was harping on me to find someone. Did I fall to mention Primrose was only twenty years old at the time, and at that age I was ancient at the tender age of twenty six. Seriously twenty-six. So what if I had never dated, never had a boyfriend, and never kissed anyone. My sister was right. I was a prude, but I’d seen how love could screw you over. My mom never recovered and she died alone in some home of a broken heart. All I had in the world was my sister. My Prim, and she was the only person I would love. Until that afternoon.

“Seriously Katniss, you’re twenty-six,” Prim said.

Eye rolling was a national pastime when speaking to a glamazon who thought I needed to date.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Prim said, removing my sunglasses. “And also, sunglasses in the middle of December, so not tre chique.”

Eye roll, eye roll, eye roll. Fake smile. CANASTO!

“You are the worst,” Prim hissed.

I knew my sister wasn’t mad at me. Annoyed, yes. Mad, no. “Prim, it’s just I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

“Katniss, I just don’t want you to impersonate elves for the rest of your life, and when you’re like forty-six, you’ll realize you’re alone with a cat, who pisses in your shoes, and scratches your furniture.”

I moved to pay our bill.

“No way,” Prim said, slamming her hand on the bill. “I make what you make in a month in two hours of work. This is on me.”

“Fine,” I grumbled.

“Also, stop closing yourself to Christmas. Santa isn’t going to leave you anything under the tree.”

“Like Santa exists,” I snorted.

Prim gasped. “You take that back. Santa Claus is real Katniss, just like the rainbows, and pigs and frogs having a long term, caring relationship, and love exists.”

My sister’s wide eyed passionate confession shook me, but the only words that came out of my mouth were, “a frog and a pig?”

“Miss Piggy and Kermit are together, and if they can make it, no matter what the media says, anything is possible.”

“Huh,” I said, leaving the luncheonette near Penn Station. We walked to the corner, where she’d take the stairs to the lower level.

I took a look at the stairs, knowing this was the moment I would say goodbye to my sister once again. My eyes filled with unwanted tears. I could still recall the little girl with the untucked shirt that looked like a duck tail. It’s where the nickname li’l duck came from.

“Don’t cry,” Prim whispered. “Quack, quack.”

“I hate it when we have to say goodbye,” I said quietly.

“It’s not goodbye, Katniss; it’s until the next time.” Prim grinned then she took my elf hat and put it on my head. “Go on, terrify the poor children of the city with your menacing scowl. But you better watch out, better not cry.”

I groaned. “Prim, I would rather hear seagulls squawking then you singing.”

“I know, that’s why I do it,” Prim said.

“You’re a brat.”

“Brat, I’m on Santa’s nice list. You’re the one on the naughty list.”

“There’s no such thing as Santa…” the words died on my lips as I saw a huge man dressed in an elaborate elf outfit jumping on the lines of the crosswalk gleefully. I was struck by the joy on his face.

He looked like an angel with wavy blond hair and innocent blue eyes. It was one thing to see a six-year-old child with that wide eyed innocence, but a tall, broad shouldered man with large hands made me think perhaps he’d escaped his caretakers. His elf outfit wasn’t like the cheap one I had to wear. It was made from a rich fabric with elaborately embroidered gold thread.

If there was something I knew about, it was fabric. I never had soft fabrics growing up and I was obsessed over soft materials. I dreamed of cashmere, Egyptian cotton, mulberry silks, and linens. His green tunic was made from merino wool, like the ones they made in England in those bespoke shops. Even his hat, although a ridiculous cone shape, was not some cheap fabric covered cardboard that you’d find in a costume shop. It was made from genuine thick green wool felt with a yellow satin ribbon wrapped around it. A red feather bobbed up and down as he jumped.

He was so happy. He looked up, as if sensing my presence. Our eyes met and he smiled jovially and waved at me. My mouth went dry, because, gaw, Canasto!

This man-child was gorgeous.

“Earth to Katniss.” Prim snapped her fingers in my face.

“Sorry.” I looked back to my sister.

Prim looked over her shoulder. “Are you okay.”

I dipped out of my sister’s way. “I think I saw an elf.”

Prim laughed. “It’s Christmas, Katniss. Santa’s elves are everywhere.” Prim gave me a hug before descending the stairs to the lower level of the station.

Seeing my sister go was difficult, but I couldn’t shake the tall man dressed as an elf. He even had on yellow tights with black elf shoes.

I made my way to Macy’s. I could see the Empire State building in the background as I took a left to head to the employee’s entrance.

When I arrived, the floor manager Brutus headed straight to me. He was a ridiculous man with muscles in his neck and a bald head. His meaty fingers held a tiny clipboard.

Brutus did not believe in technology. He refused to use a tablet. He said the muckety-mucks, as he called them, were out to get him. He wore dark brown pants that were too small for his large frame and even when he stood you could see his white socks. He wore a sweater vest with various pens in his front pocket and a cheap plastic necklace that was supposed to look like tree lights.

“Jovie,” Brutus said looking over his shoulder.

“Yes, Brutus,” I smiled. Jovie was my elf name.

“Our last Santa quit, and we have no one, so until then I need you to help out in gift wrapping. Don’t forget to make sure the ribbon curl is six inches.”

“But you need more than six inches, to make a good curl.”

“Six inches.”

Sighing I walked to the station and nodded to the girls who were at the gift-wrapping station. I sat there trying to make six inch curls. People were insane at Christmas; they were stressed out to buy things, and things never made anyone happy. Things were just things.

The line of people got shorter and I noticed the tree in the center of the sales floor was looking a little sad. So getting the ladder, I rearranged the ornaments and noticed one of the lights was out. From this vantage point I saw Brutus drag him in, the elf I saw on the street.

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I focused on the tree, eavesdropping the entire time.

“Buddy, you need to remember you get a half-hour break when you work under six hours and a one hour break when you work over six hours. If I catch you on the floor again I’ll have to write you up.”

His name was Buddy. My lips formed a goofy smile at his name. Up close he was prettier, his wavy hair curled up at the ends. A shiver ran up my spine at all of those curls. I could picture little boys with blond ringlets and a little girl with dark tresses in green colored elf clothing. I held on to the ladder as I swayed.

“Wow, what’s this?” HIs eyes quickly darted to the crowded sales floor.

“This is the north pole,” Brutus said looking at his precious clipboard.

“No it’s not,” Buddy waved at a pair of babies inside of a stroller.

“Yes it is,” Brutus said.

“No it’s not,” Buddy eye’s traveled to the tree and I hid behind it so that he didn’t see me.

“Yes it is,” Brutus put his hands on his wide hips.

“No it’s not,” Buddy said smiling. “Where’s the snow?”

“He’s right, there’s no snow,” a six-year old girl said. She’d been listening to the conversation.

I nearly snorted.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Brutus brows knit together.

“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite thing,” he said. Bouncing to the Christmas music that was being pumped through the speakers.

“Well stop smiling, and make work your favorite thing to do. And who gave you that outfit?”

“It’s mine,” Buddy said, splaying those large hands on his chest looking down at his elf outfit.

Brutus looked at the intricate gold embroidery. “Fine, if that’s your story. You should make work your priority instead of shopping.” Brutus sighed, looking at his clipboard again. “I have to make the announcement.”

Buddy nodded, but once more was looking around.

I was working on the tree lights by now and really didn’t want to get down because I wanted to keep staring at him. At his great legs. Normally tall guys had spindly legs. Not his, yum.

“Okay I’ve got an announcement. Santa will be here tomorrow at 10AM. Keep your receipts so you can see Santa.”

“SANTA!” Buddy yelled. He jumped, clasped his hands and a little girl next to him joined him. Soon there was a flock of kids doing the same thing, all speaking at once and he was nodding and speaking to them as if he knew Santa.

I chuckled cause I’ve never seen Brutus look so stunned and speechless. He was carried away by Chaff, his second in command.

Buddy turned and focused on me. I pretended that he wasn’t just a few feet away from me. I could feel his gaze as I fixed the bulb that was not letting the string of lights to turn on. The tree lit up and I swear his eyes seemed to glow brighter than the lights on the tree.

My stomach did a little flip-flop. “What!” I said defensively. I turned and saw how big his eyes were and the genuine smile. “Are you enjoying the view?”

“I love Christmas trees,” he said hesitantly. “It’s nice to see someone else who enjoys elf culture as much as I do.”

Of course the guy that would make butterflies dance in my stomach was a wackadoo. I scowled. This wasn’t happening. Getting down from the tree, I quickly walk away, grabbing a few stuffed animals that were discarded and putting them back on the display.

“Looks like someone needs Christmas cheer and the best way to do it is to sing.”

“I don’t sing,” I muttered.

“Of course you can.” He chased after me.

“No,” I said trying to get him to stop, but liking that he’s walking after me like a wide eyed puppy-dog.

“Anyone can. All you have to do is put a group of words together in a tune,” he said sweetly.

I hopped on up on the stage where the guy in the red suit would be seated tomorrow. I turned to look at him. As I spoke to him, I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice. Because the last time I sang a Christmas song it was with my dad, hours before he died. “I know that, I can sing, but I choose not to sing.”

“Look, I’ll do it for you maybe it will make you smile,” Buddy said. He takes a deep breath, “I”M SINGING. I’M IN A STORE AND I AM…”

It was horrible, but I couldn’t help but smile.

“THERE’S NO SINGING IN THE NORTH POLE!” Brutus comes running out from behind the registrar.

“Yes there is,” Buddy says grinning at me. “I’m Peeta.”

“Wait I thought your name was Buddy?”

“That’s my middle name,” Peeta said. “Is Jovie your name?”

“No,” my voice sounds breathy. “Jovie is my elf name.”

“So what’s your real name?” His voice sounded deeper and I swear I could see nothing else but his big blue eyes tenderly gazing at me.

“Katniss,” I said, wondering why my knees were so wobbly. I couldn’t fall for a guy who thought he was an elf. A very good looking, broad shouldered guy with the face of an angel, but nonetheless, a complete wakadoo.

The ten minute warning came on letting people know they needed to go home.

“Oh I’ve got to get ready for Santa,” Peeta muttered under his breath. But before he could move Brutus appears.

“Buddy,” Brutus grabbed him by the arm and hauled him away. I was left standing on that stage with a big old goofy grin on my face.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #winter #winter 2020 #mega-aulover #submission #prompt

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shewillreadyou · 3 years ago

Text

Hey guys! I haven’t written anything in months. Also, this is very fluffy. There is some language, adult content, and 🍋🍋🍋. It’s TNA. Sam and Misti to be exact. 1693 word count. It was supposed to be my @wackydrabbles entry for the week but I’m late. This is a one shot. I have also never posted from my phone. 🤦🏽‍♀️💕 Whatever. Sorry. Let me know what you think.

After reading them their favorite bedtime story, Misti quietly closed the door to the boys bedroom. She tiptoed into the kitchen, where she drained the last of her merlot, and began to load the dinner dishes into the dishwasher. They had only been back from Italy a short time and talking to the boys about the new role she’d be playing was heavy on her mind. She was putting the last wine glass on the top rack when Sam creeped quietly into the kitchen to steal a kiss. His arms snaked around her waist and she yelped in surprise.

“Shit! Sam, you scared me.”

He chuckled as he pulled her hair back kissing her neck. She smiled welcoming his embrace. She slowly stepped back and seductively bent over to get a soap pod out of the container in the cabinet under the sink. Sam’s mouth fell open at the sight. His hands traced her curves as she popped the pod into the dishwasher and pressed the start button. “Fuck, washing dishes has never looked so sexy,” Sam said as he pulled her into his arms.

“Is that a challenge? Because you are doing the dishes tomorrow.” The couple laughed together.

After a long searing kiss, Misti pulled away. “Sam,” she whispered. “Not here. What if the boys wake up? We need to talk to them, you know. It’s only a matter of time before--” Sam quieted her rant with a single finger to her lips.

“Shhh.” He scooped her into his arms and carried her bridal style into his bedroom. He kicked the door shut before he laid her down on his plush bed. He narrowed his eyes as he gazed at her hungrily. He removed his cufflinks as she squirmed on the bed. He made quick work of the button on his shirt before he unbuckled his belt and unzipped and unbuttoned his pants letting the weight of his belt pull them down around his ankles. A topless Misti looked at him amused by his strip tease before looking over to the door.

“You seem distracted love. What’s on your mind?” Sam asked as he settled himself above her on the bed. “Did you lock the door?” she asked as she lifted her hips to allow Sam to remove her lounge pants. “Yes, why?” He kissed her neck and collarbone. “The boys.” Sam flipped her so that she was now on top. He pulled her shirt over her brown mane and tossed it onto the floor. Misti reached around and unclasped her bra.

“I know you are worried,” he said as he cupped her breast. “We’ll sit them down tomorrow.” He took her nipple into his mouth. “Promise?” she moaned. He flipped them again so that she was on her back. He kissed down her torso before burying his face in between her thighs. She squirmed as he devoured her. “Be still. It’s been days. I have to make sure you’re ready for me,” he whispered huskily. Before she knew it, Sam had her pinned against the wall. His hips slammed into hers rhythmically as she quietly moaned his name.

Suddenly, Misti’s fear became a reality when his bedroom door slowly swung open. “Dad, I had a bad dream and Misti’s not in her room. Then I heard thumping.” To her horror Mason stood in the doorway wiping his sleepy eyes. Sam looked over his shoulder. “Go back to your room buddy. I’ll be in to check on you.” Mason turned away, never even noticing Misti behind Sam in the dark room. Sam pulled out, looking at Misti apologetically. Fury dominated her gaze as she quickly gathered her clothes and headed to the door.

“What?” he questioned.

“Where are you going?”

She pulled his t-shirt over her head. “You know what!” she whisper yelled.

“I didn’t know.”

“How? How did you not know? I told you this would happen. That was way too close, Sam.” She stormed out of his room.

“Misti, baby. Wait, I’m sorry.” He followed her through the dark penthouse.”

“Don’t follow me. I’ll be in my room. Go check on your son.”

Sam knew that Misti was right. It was time to have a talk with the boys. But how was he supposed to explain things in a way that they could understand?

After checking in on a sleeping Mason, Sam knocked quietly on Misti’s door. After she didn’t answer, he slipped inside and made sure to lock the door. He smiled to himself when he heard the shower running. His lounge pants set dangerously low on his hips. The smell of her papaya mango shampoo wafted through the air. “Misti?” his deep baritone surprised her. “Sam? Where is Mason?” He pulled the string around his waist and pushed his pants and boxers to the floor. She smiled as he stepped inside the shower stall. “He’s asleep and I promise, I locked the door.”

His body shivered as the hot water burned his skin. “Shit, Misti. How do you handle the water this hot?” She giggled and adjusted the temperature. She began to lather his rock hard abs with soap. He stepped under the water, rinsing himself immediately. “You’re going to make me smell like a girl.” She threw her head back in laughter. “Sorry. I don’t have any of your fancy manly Jack Black turbo wash.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry.” A comfortable silence filled the air as she waited for him to say more. “You were right. We need to talk to the boys in the morning. They will definitely ask questions when you move your things into my bedroom.”

“Who said I was moving in there with you? I love my room, and you are a cover hog,” she joked. “But, seriously, I just don’t want to confuse them. I mean I’m their nanny first.”

Sam smiled at her concern. “About that,” Sam said. Misti quirked her eyebrow. “You’re fired.” Sam deadpanned. She eyed him amused. After several moments reality washed over her. “Oh dear lord, you’re serious? You’re firing me?” He laughed proudly. “Yes, you’re my lady. You don’t need to work.” Misti rolled her eyes before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower.

“Sam, I’m a chemist. I took this job with two fold intentions. I didn’t plan on falling in love with the boys or you. I wanted to get my foot in the door at Dalton Enterprises. I don’t need a sugar daddy! I don’t need you to take care of me, financially,” she declared as she sashayed into her bedroom.

“Misti, wait. Babe, I know, you’re brilliant. But, where are you going? You can’t just leave me like this,” he said motioning to his erection.

Ignoring him, she let her towel drop to the floor before she started to slowly lotion her body. Sam stood watching her with lust in his eyes.

“So you really aren’t going to come to bed?” She turned to look at him. The towel situated low enough on his hips to show off the deep v that disappeared under the towel. She bit her lip and shook her head no.

“If we don’t talk to the boys tomorrow, I’m moving out, since I am no longer employed here.”

“Oh, that’s not fair. I don’t do well with ultimatums.” He approached her from behind and she could feel his stiffened length through his towel. She reluctantly stepped away before looking at him through her thick eyelashes. “Oh, and no more fooling around either.” She walked over to the door, unlocked it and held it open. “Goodnight Sam.” She waited for him to leave.

The following morning

“Listen, boys. Misti and I have something very important to talk to you about.”

“Really? Are we finally going skiing in Switzerland?” Mason asked.

“Oh no. I’ve seen that face before. She isn’t going to be our nanny anymore, is she?” Mickey asked deflated.

“No, no she won’t--”

“You’re leaving? But you promised,” Mason chimed in.

“Don’t you remember? You said you’d always be here for us. It was the night by the bridge when we told you that we wanted you to be our new step mom and not Aunt Sofia?” Mickey added.

“Oh, boys,” Misti said. “I meant every word.”

“Then why are you leaving us?”

“Boys, please. Allow us to explain. Wait, you two asked Misti to be your stepmom?” Sam looked between the three of them. Misti held her hands up in surrender.

“Whatever, you two know how much I care for Misti, right?”

They both nodded in understanding. Sam nervously cleared his throat.

“Well, sometimes when grown ups care for one another. They do things…”

“Dad, what did you do?”

“For the love of God, rip the bandaid off. Mason, Mickey, your Dad and I are in love. I wouldn’t dream of leaving you two. I guess what we want to say is we really are fond of one another. What would you think about your Dad and I being in a relationship?”

“Oh my God, we knew that you two kissed, but you are going to get married!” the boys said in unison.

“That’s not what I said.”

“But, it’s my intention. I want to make an honest woman out of Misti.”

“Misti is already really honest. Even when we don’t want to hear it,” Mason said.

Sam chuckled before squatting down in front of them.

“Boys, I would love for Misti to be your stepmom, for us to be a family.”

“I thought we already were,” Mason said sadly.

“We are, it will just be official.”

“So you’re not leaving us?” Mickey asked.

“Not even wild boars could pull me away.” She said, pulling them into a tight embrace.

“Misti?”

“Yes,” she answered with tears in her eyes.

“I can’t breathe.”

They all laughed as she released them from her hold apologetically.

“Now, about that ski trip,” Mason smirked.

Her heart was full. The boys were fine with her new relationship with Sam and Sam just admitted to wanting to make her his wife. All was right with the world. She was unemployed, but at least in this moment it couldn’t be any better for her.

#choices stories you play #tna #choices fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #kim reads #playchoices

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thatsadorbsyo · 4 years ago

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Lucas - Threads

((this post references the events of the fall, a mission in the heartless ffxiv roleplay campaign. quoted sections were written by @way-to-the-future. cw: character death. art credit: papa ibra tall, seamstress of the stars, wool tapestry, 1970s.))

“I admire how much warmth you give. Like a furnace. Like you've got a blaze rolling at your heart, and you let it all out through your skin. I see it in your eyes, the way they glow when the lamplight hits it just right.”

I’ve got nothing but white static in my head when I try to remember the Rovers’ faces, and if that isn’t creepy as fuck, I don’t know what is. I can’t recall a single thing about them. No noses, no mouths, not a sliver of kohl smudged under an eye or a lock of hair curling out from under a helmet. It’s easier to hate them when I can’t see any facets of their identity, but I don’t wanna fall prey to this lazy fallacy, either. There must have been real men under all that armor. One of many, sure, but individuals all -- just like I had been, once upon a time. So why don’t I remember?

My memory is unfortunately selfish and selective. It picks up the threads of the things closest to my heart and weaves the best story it can with the loose ends. So here’s the stupid little details that stuck with me, where more pertinent information might have been written instead:

I can still tell you with absolute clarity the exact gem tones of the light reflecting off of Cheche’s upturned face, when the Allagan facility erupted in spells and gunfire all around us. Sapphire blues, emerald greens, and amethyst purples against her shining black scales at every obsidian facet, like a raven feather catching the light.

I can map with exacting precision the arc of Castor’s white braid when he whipped his head around at the commotion, taking the tactical measure of our situation the way only a forged-in-the-blood knight like him can. Even after turning away from him, I could still feel the bulwark of Castor behind me, a solid presence that I didn’t need to see to be able to sense, like an extension of my arm, a phantom limb.

To turn around and suddenly find them both gone, ushered down a different corridor in all the clusterfuck of our allies splintering when the Rovers betrayed us?

It felt like amputation.

If I could, I would keep them both in my heart, keep them like puppets suspended by vermilion strings that extend from their every joint to the cavernous arches of my beating muscle. With threads that absorb the shock of my mortal body and every twin hammer of blood, so that all my loves can feel is the gentle warmth of my fire, the spark of creation that burns in me to keep them, cradle them, shelter them close and alive.

Keep them, and I guess, in so doing, preserve them exactly as I want them to be. Is that fair? It doesn’t seem so, does it? I may love them, but they aren’t mine. They aren’t toys or dolls; not mine to keep. See, Castor has taught me that to love someone is to swap my puppeteer’s strings for the Spinner’s threads, and let them weave their own way through my story. Cheche has shown me that the beauty in anything -- in anyone -- is that they might evaporate at any moment. But if I let them, they both might even decide, all on their own, to stay with me for as long as they can. A stronger path, freely chosen and written in royal blue and bright fern green, threading in a perfect braid around my brilliant gold.

No, I couldn’t keep them -- and in the moment of amputation, it didn’t fucking matter anyway, because they’d already gone beyond my reach. My heart was alone, but still it burned for them; burned fit to melt straight through the iced Malbolge of all the hells, a judgement which I still believed must have been waiting for me just beyond the next door of this Allagan tomb, to welcome me to the justice that I'm owed for my crimes. This door, or the next door. The next one.

Amputation wouldn’t stop me. Hell wouldn’t stop me. I would have burned through that whole building like a live coal, if that was what it had taken to find the exit and bring us all back home.

“It's hardly poetic, love. I'm just telling you exactly how you are. How anyone could see you. Even if they weren't a poet. Maybe even if they didn't care for you like I do. Just, if they - stopped to watch you.”

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but I had a brother once, before I torched the evidence of the life I used to live. Augustin looked so much like me even when we were young, but moreso now than ever before. We have the same bronze eyes, the same nose; I’ve grown into the size of our chin with time. He’s a beefier motherfucker than I am, and he’d always preferred braids, but even still you’d be hard pressed to tell us apart if you stood us back to back. Where do you think is he now?

Does he wonder what’s become of my punk ass? Surely the reports tell the truth about how I left. They wouldn’t keep secrets, not from a... fuck, he’s probably a Centurio now, isn’t he?

Shit... I bet he is. He always wanted to follow Mom’s path, even though every day that passes causes me to doubt her just a little bit more. I’ve learned too much about family not to begin questioning her motives for doing what she did, but I guess that’s neither here nor there.

But it was Augustin who first taught me how to shoot, you know? He took me behind our home and put a gunblade in my hands, adjusting my twiggy little twelve-turn limbs into the approximate shape of proper posture even when the weight of it threatened to topple me over like a top-heavy weed. He drilled firearm etiquette into me until I could recite its tenets by memory. For such a little bitch, he molded me into a decent shot.

I haven’t felt that kind of brotherly guidance in a long time, but I think I felt Augustin’s ghost behind me when I stood shoulder to shoulder with Sister Lux in that facility, fighting our way out.

Do you remember that door, the one I had thought stood between me and the hells? It was really just another hungry bulkhead between us and freedom; a sun and moon puzzle that should have been, might have been harder to solve if I couldn’t feel the juxtaposition of her fire right next to me. Sun and moon. Astral and umbral. It was so simple; this was a test. I had let my aether lay fallow, and in order to progress I had to reach inside and drag all the burning potential straight out of my mouth. Furious, destructive, so obscenely fucking alive.

Hungry, that’s the key word. The door had to feed -- on us. I don’t know how, or why, but somehow she and I put our hands to the door at the same time and knew exactly what to do. It was time for me to shit or get off the proverbial pot, and all she had to do was correct my posture a little bit, just like old times in the backyard with my brother and a weapon I didn’t know how to hold.

I picked up my brass and ruby cudgel, and she told me how to feel the fire of my aether and let it simmer in controlled brilliance, and how to sit back and watch, patient and observant, as an umbral reckoning blazed all the way up into my nose, through my nostrils, eventually bubbling out in an oozing black ichor like tar. Until we were both painted with blood and the door finally gave way after growing fat on our offerings. Freedom, and not a moment too soon.

It’s funny. It’s funny in that way where I have to laugh to keep from considering all of the circumstantial leaps that had to happen to get me there, in that moment, with that exact mentor and the tools available to me. Did you know that I bought my thaumaturge focus the same day -- at the same damn merchant stall -- that I bought the bracelet that Lux still wears? The cudgel was a leap of faith (I thought maybe, someday, I would use it), and the bracelet was a tithe for her attention, but I gotta fucking wonder if that wasn’t the Spinner herself cinching an amethyst purple thread, until two distant ends of a rich black fabric pleated and bunched together, suddenly close, in a moment of coordinated function.

Like this had been the plan all along.

“They treat you differently because of it. Everyone on this ship - they know they can talk to you, Lucas. That you'll hear them.”

I started this mission as an empty vessel, asking everyone I came across to pour their faith into me so that I might taste it and gradually build a competence in teasing apart the flavors of the gods. The truth is that I was searching for the one most likely to offer me forgiveness, or at the very least the god who might hand me a penitence that I felt like I could swallow. I thought I deserved it, you see. That’s how all this started. On bad days, I still do.

Asking about faith isn’t just a window to the spiritual soul -- it’s also a mainline straight into the source of everyone’s irreconcilable fucking damage. Picking your god is a perilous choice, but mostly because it ultimately determines what kind of personality malfunction you’re going to have down the road. I already know why I’m awful: Delusions of grandeur and megalomania, with a curious tendency to self-flagellate. I’m the smartest, most impressive architect you’ll ever meet. I’m the greasiest, grimiest hunk of motor oil in the gutter.

The only way to reach the middle road between glorifying and hating myself, I’ve found, is to count the threads that wrap themselves around my ribs when I recount the conversations that I’ve had on the Salemtaza’s Voyage.

Here’s a taste: I’ve got Caelrin in deep ochre around my midriff where my abs are just starting to take shape. Ignera sits in flaming orange around the hollow of my throat, slapping my hand away every time I try to choke on my own self-loathing. Captain Kharn wraps in garnet around my face, shielding me from unwanted eyes when I don’t feel quite how I should in my skin. W'kana and W'buki in yellow and black, swaddling me so tight around the chest I fear for my next fucking breath. Reinette, a gentle evening blue curling in petals around my fingertips. Rizzo, a shining onyx black stitching up my lungs telling me to breathe, just breathe, don’t stop breathing until it gets easier.

More even than that. Staelufre in neon magenta, Fugetsu in an unknowable shade of grey, Killian in sunset orange, Strelec in obscuring maroon, Hikari in daisy yellow, Camille in cloudy crimson, Jancis in healing olive, Lune in jumpsuit orange, Jeanne in oil-slick purple, Hanako in fresh lavender, even Kat, yeah, even her, in that same royal blue as Castor.

Nathaniel threading in loops around every one of my fingers in a dazzling gold that fades into the electric yellow of potent aethersand.

I could go on. I could list twice as many names and colors as I already have, and I must ask myself: How do I carry them all? How could I possibly hold them all, without attaching them directly to my meat, my bones, this hideous and imprecise flesh that rightly should be cogs and metal? All that thread would just gum up the whole works, wouldn’t it? Maybe it’s better that I am man, then, and not machine.

For all my flaws, I can still stretch my arms and accommodate all these dangling ends.

“They see it in you, in the way you carry yourself. You're curious. Empathetic. You want to understand people, not just love them or hate them or think nothing of them at all.”

Sui tried to warn me about all this, back at the pumpkin patch at Cloudtop. It was raining, weighing down all my sashes on my brand new armor, and Sui had laughed when the skies parted to reveal the sun setting in a field of rose gold and the softest lavender. It seems like she and I can never properly talk if we aren’t both looking at the sky, like this is the only way we can perceive each other. Never head on -- only in the periphery. Or maybe it’s just easier to talk about certain things when you aren’t looking someone in the eye. Maybe it’s that.

She was so startled by the questions I needed to ask her, like she hadn’t thought it was possible that anyone had been watching her reaction to Nathaniel’s speech, like she didn’t think anyone would have noticed that she was upset. Is she so used to passing under the radar?

But I’ll give her credit. Sui tried to warn me that my friends would die. I watched the sunset fizzle out on the horizon from its soft pastels into a creeping ceruleum and a deeper indigo while she told me every horror that had befallen her family before, and what she knew would happen to us again. Sui could feel the same threads of fate starting to twine around our edges, and she wanted me to be prepared. I listened. I let those fibers stitch themselves into my lungs in the golden rose of a cloudless twilight sky.

I just never thought it would come down on us so quickly, and with such brutal force. I’ve never had to pray for another person before, and out of nowhere I found it necessary to summon the script to beg for twelve of my friends’ lives.

The truth is that I never learned how, and I’ve been too afraid to seek the answer. I know how to make wishes; I know how to toss gold coins into a running fountain and watch the sunlight flicker off the scattered mess of them along the bottom of the pool. But I don’t know how to pray.

I know who I would ask. It was Tieve who introduced me to Gridania, and if Sui and I speak most openly under a yawning sky, you might say that Tieve and I communicate best among the trees, under a cathedral of roots. The memory of the hearer’s chapel is stitched in bark brown and moss green bracelets around my wrists, reminding me that while I may have been invited to someone’s sacred space, I have to mind my boundaries, too. I am not the infallible creator of my own conceit, but nor am I outcast from Spoken kindness and community. To know temperance is to know yourself, to dig into the well of your Spoken dignity and grant the same to others.

I still have this embroidered Gridanian sachet of wood chips and herbs that she gave me, telling me it was for luck, and I didn’t know back then how much I would come to rely on Nymeia for hope. That I would need to believe that she’s writing me into a greater tapestry, that I need that grandeur to feel like my dumbass mistakes have meaning and purpose. And even with Tieve beyond my reach, it occurred to me that she might have already given me everything I needed to weave my own prayer. A level head. A god. A talisman.

I’m just fumbling through this. We all are, but I made my own prayer by pulling that sachet out of my pocket and spinning it over and over in my hands as I remembered the names of those our enemies had taken from us. Who better to beg than the god of fate? Keep their lines anchored to me. Keep them in the tapestry. Keep them safe.

“It's the most noble thing about you. It's - It's more than just what you do, it's who you are. It's what I love about you.”

I recite their names:

Aidan, the hound with apologetic eyes who slinks around the edges the crowd until someone notices him, at which point he deflects attention from himself with a self-deprecating joke straight out of my own fucking toolbox. He could be a brother to me, if he let himself be; if he told me the truth about who he is and where he’s been. I can smell it on him. The stench of ceruleum doesn’t fade as quickly as any of us would like, but I wait for him to tell me on his own terms. Aidan weaves around the periphery of my eyelids in a shadowy kohl black.

Izar, the mercurial seer who obscures themselves in riddles like a smug sphinx playing at being a whimsical faerie. They have never passed up the opportunity to toy with me like a blind white kitten with an oversized brown moth, but the teeth of their humor has never once felt like a cage to me. They are kind, and curious, and helpful even as they delight in your confusion. They dangle at my elbow in marble white, furiously tickling my arm like a loose hair caught in a sleeve.

Adhi, the wandering sage of Dalmasca who the gods had to gift with such big fuzzy ears so that she could better capture every single story that ever came her way. I don’t know how to even begin to thank her for what she’s done for me; she’s returned things to me that by all means should have been my birthright but were taken from me before I was even aware that they were being stolen. Her thread spirals in a shell around my ear in an entire spectrum of colors, one for every tale she carries with her.

Still, there’s more: Tieve, the witch of the wolves (mossy green); Percy, the son of a shadow (cobalt blue); Bride, the bashful goldsmith (periwinkle blue); Swozbhar, the towering cook (mint green); Valeriaux, the scarred philanthropist (leather brown); Silya and Livia, the sunniest Fists I’ve ever met (pale pink and soft teal); Farid, the most visibly haunted man I know (muted purple); and Iron Deer, the entrepreneurial engineer (metallic steel) -- all of them familiar faces, all of them colleagues, all of them threaded through the chambers of the same priceless Heart that gives our mission purpose.

The same Heart that we traded away just to get them back.

You know what? Fuck it. I’ll string them all to my own heart. I’ll suspend them all in cocoons deep in the burning hearth of me -- I will fight my way out of this facility that wants desperately to become our tomb -- until those that still live can crawl back out, fragile but alive and free to keep fighting for whatever comes next.

But one of them is gone, beyond the veil and permanently out of my reach. Just like Sui tried to warn me about, and all of Tieve’s lucky charms were not enough to protect me from this single ungentle truth. The Spinner does not stop the march of destruction -- she merely directs it. She cuts the threads of our fallen friends when they begin to fray and weaves new ones in their place; a different color, a fresh fate.

One of them is gone, their thread knotted off in a sudden stop on the tapestry of our story. But who?

Who did we lose?

“I've seen it. I've heard it. I've bloody felt it. Everyone I speak to says the same. Every one of them knows what a great heart you have.”

Percy and I first met at that bonfire by the chocobo stables. I was shivering, fresh off the fucking ship and completely unprepared for the weather, and he stood next to me and promised me everything I could ever possibly want, if only I made a promise in return to be a loyal friend to the Family. I was so desperate for a place to belong, I would have signed anything, done anything -- what had mattered was that he would have me. In this brave new world, I had people looking out for me. A place to call home. Structure. An institutionalized, freshly liberated fuckhead like me desperately needed structure.

So what if it came with a little price? The list of my sins is long, and breaking and entering is pretty far down at the bottom. Bar brawls are inconsequential, when you’ve already essentially aided and abetted war crimes. So, I’m wanted by both House Desrosiers and House Beaumarchais for stealing a thing or two from their daughters’ manse. So fucking what. Percy and I -- There are bonds that can only be forged at three in the morning, sitting on a crows’ perch halfway across the city under the moonlight, doing pre-job surveillance on some fart-sniffing nobles through their window. I’m not saying we kissed. I’m not saying we didn’t, either.

This is what I’m thinking about, when I look down at Percy’s lifeless face, drained of the rosy pink that always sat on his cheeks during those cold-ass stakeouts, huddled together at the shoulders for warmth. If I touched him now, he would be so cold, so unnaturally fucking cold, so I don’t. I can’t bring myself to touch him; to do anything but stare with my mouth half-open and a sob dying somewhere between my sternum and my throat, turning into just another burning pit to fizzle and die in my stomach.

Except it doesn’t have the good sense to die. It turns to steam, turns to pressure, backs up the entire clockwork machine that keeps me chugging along, and it must be vented or else I’m going to fucking explode, but I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. It stutters inside me like a hitched gear. The whine seems to come from my chest, high-pitched, like a kettle about to scream. Is that me? Am I screaming? I don’t know myself. I am not me, in this moment. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who is on the cot below me, whose silver close-cropped hair sits on this head, whose too-round spectacles reflect the light in the room too thoroughly for me to be able to see if their dead fucking eyes are open or closed. I don’t know which is more terrifying.

I leave. I run. My boots scream against the floor of the ship, clap against the dirt outside, and I don’t stop running until I can drop to my knees and bellow to the impassive clouds. This is my fault. Judgement rings in my head in a cacophony of voices. My fault. My fault he’s dead.

What am I doing here? What have I done?

Percy’s line, cobalt blue, is so cleanly snipped from my fabric that all I can do is finger the empty spot where it might have kept going. Maybe one day we could have found compromise; a future where the three of us could get along without jealousy, without miscommunication or hurt feelings. I’ll never fucking know.

I have always thought of myself in big terms. I am man, I am machine, I am god. I’m the architect of my own form, and I have crafted myself in my own image. Nothing makes me feel more powerful than looking in the mirror and seeing my face look back at me; the face that I sculpted, the body that I shaped. The people that I’ve been in the past are not dead, but rather they have been stitched into my organs. The girl that I was lives in my marrow and feeds my blood, and I am never alone in the cathedral of my body. I am holy. I am enduring. I will move beyond the ghosts at my heels and continue forging a forward path, with those I love woven into the never-ending project that I call my self.

But even a god looks puny as shit, crying into the dirt over a fallen friend. I need to feel this. I need how small this makes me, how insignificant I am in this moment. I gotta remember how crippled it makes me feel. This humility -- it needs to be sown into me, too. So I don’t make the same mistake again. It’s the least I can do.

I can’t forget. I won’t forget his face.

“What a precious, precious thing we've gained.”

#FFXIVHeartless #lucas nevin #balmung rp #ffxiv rp #IC post #castor arendt #cheche dotharl #lux lunseer #sui eclair #tieve corwell #percy d'armagnac #adian hawke #izar yunhaai #sage adhi #(and more!)#[S] Lucas: Be the Heir of Blood

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anna-justice · 4 years ago

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Lost or Found - 10

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

10 - All Over Again ...

Jay, Adam and Kevin followed the ambulances to the hospital. Jay drove so that Adam could call Kim’s mom, his hands were numb from gripping the wheel so tightly. They rushed into the emergency department after them, only to be held back by the desk nurse. “I will get you boys an update as soon as possible, but right now I need you to sit down.” They all nodded and took seats next to the nurses station.

They waited anxiously, Adam’s leg bouncing, Jay staring off into space. Kevin was holding his friends together, thankful that they had decided to pick him up on the way. The emergency department doors opened again and Claire Burgess came rushing in. She spotted her daughter’s boyfriend immediately and made her way over. Adam stood and gladly received a hug from his surrogate mother. “What happened?”

Adam shook his head, “We don’t know. They were in the garage when we got there.”

Claire nodded, fighting back the tears. “I’m so glad you boys got there in time.” She said, looking at Jay and Kevin as well. “So Hailey was there too?” Jay nodded. “I’ll go call Trudy.” The disheveled woman walked back out the doors and Adam sat down again.

Jay’s mind was racing, they should’ve left sooner, if they hadn’t picked up Kevin then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. A few minutes later Claire returned, taking the empty seat next to Adam. They waited a while longer, Trudy made it before the doctor came to update them.

They all stood as the doctor approached, Jay could feel her heart beating faster. He was just praying that she wasn’t dead, he couldn’t lose anyone else.

“You must be here for Ms. Upton and Ms. Burgess?” He asks. They all nod vigorously. “Alright, well I’ll start with Kim. She has yet to regain consciousness but we are very optimistic based on her scans. When she does wake up we’ll need to run a few more tests, she was deprived of oxygen for a long period of time and there is a risk of hearing loss in both ears.” Adam’s breath caught in his throat.

“Can we see her?” Claire asked.

The doctor shook his head, “She also has a severe concussion, so there are still a few tests we need to run, but I will send a nurse out to get you as soon as possible.”

“And Hailey?” Trudy asked before Jay could.

“She has a severe concussion, in addition to a head laceration that we assume is from hitting the floor.” He explained. “She was slipping in and out of consciousness when they brought her in, so we sedated her. Her head CT was clean, but she has a very serious heart arrhythmia.” The doctor took a breath. “She coded in the ambulance, but they got her back quickly. She is being prepped for surgery right now to insert a temporary pacemaker. Usually we would hold off, but with her age and medical history we think it’s the best course of action. I will be out to update you as soon as I have any more information.”

Trudy muttered a thank you before collapsing into the chair behind her. The tears began to flow and Claire placed a comforting hand on her back.

Jay felt his legs carry him out of the ED, he needed air. He hit the outside wall of the hospital repeatedly, Hailey was in emergency surgery, his hope was fleeting fast. A hand landed on his back but he pushed it away. “Woah man…” Adam said.

Jay turned to face him and shoved him backwards. “This is all your fault!” He yelled.

“What the hell are you talking ab--”

“You refused to end things with Kim! If you had done what they said neither of them would be in this situation!” He said, getting in Adam’s face.

Adam shoved Jay away. “How was I supposed to know this would happen?”

“Hailey could die Adam!” His jaw clenched and he readied his fists.

“That’s not my fault!”

“Like hell it is--” Jay cut himself off by throwing a punch, but it was caught by Kevin who forced himself between them.

“Hey!” He yelled, “What the hell is wrong with the two of you?” Jay took a step back, starring Adam down. “Jay, take a walk.” He said, but Jay stayed where he was. “Hailey is in surgery, take a walk.” He turned to Adam and pointed to the doors, silently telling him to go inside.

Jay reluctantly walked away, still wanting to bash Adam’s face in. He made his way to a bench around the corner and sat down, head in his hands. It almost didn’t feel real, Hailey was in surgery and Kim might not get her hearing back. He dreaded the moment that Hailey would wake up, probably alone, he knew that she hated hospitals, not that he was a huge fan himself.

It was getting late, so he texted his mom what had happened and said that he wouldn’t be home for a while. He didn’t want his mom to worry, he was doing enough of that for the both of them.

…

Jay sat on the bench for a long time before walking back into the hospital, when he entered the weight on his chest reappeared. The words “medical history” kept running through his head, he couldn’t help to let his mind wander to what happened with her dad. How bad was it? He was itching to know what happened, but asking Hailey was a big fat no, even if she was awake and able to answer.

He eyed Trudy across the room, surely she would know what her niece went through. Before Jay could stop himself, he was seated next to her. “Can we talk?” He asked, glancing around. Adam and Kevin were nowhere to be found and Claire was on the phone.

“Of course.” She said, placing a comforting hand on his. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just--” He paused, “Hailey told me why she came here.” Trudy sucked in a breath and nodded, urging him to continue. “I need to know what happened that night, it’s eating me alive.”

Trudy sighed, “Jay this isn’t my story to tell…”

“Please.” He pleaded, eyes full of something that Trudy had never seen in him before.

“I don’t know what happened before they got to the hospital.” She said, admitting defeat. “But after Hailey was sent into surgery her mother called me terrified. She thought that Eldon had killed her.” Jay sat there in shock. “She was in real bad shape, I don’t know the extent of all her injuries but I do know that she ended up with three broken ribs that ended up perforating her lung, her shoulder was dislocated and I’m pretty sure her wrist was broken. There was more, I know it, but Anne wouldn’t tell me the rest.” Trudy let out a shaky breath and watched the young man in front of her cautiously.

Jay stayed frozen for a few moments, wrapping his head around all of the information that he had just gotten. “I don’t understand, how did he get away with it?”

“Anne told the police that someone broke into their house, Eldon left town right after it happened. They pretended that he was on a business trip the whole time.” Trudy explained.

Jay felt the tension in his jaw as he bit back his response. “I’m sorry, but that is crazy.”

“I agree, I insisted that Hailey come live with us or I would go to the police.” Trudy said, “I love my sister but she is blind when it comes to him, she can make her own mistakes, but Hailey didn’t choose that life.”

Jay nodded, “Hailey told us that her mom sent her here.”

“She doesn’t know that it was all my idea.” She leaned in a bit, “And I would like to keep it that way.”

“Of course.” He said, averting his gaze back to the hallway. He was getting restless waiting for an update.

Trudy squeezed his shoulder, “She’ll be fine, she’s tough.” Jay took a deep breath, letting her words sink in, he really hoped that she would be. “I’m glad you two have each other, I think you both needed it.”

Jay smiled, she had no idea how much he really did.

…

A/N: Sorry, this is so short! It is just a filler!

@lissethsrojas @fuckyeahkillianemma @puckluck28 @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #burzek au #kevin atwater #trudy platt #erin lindsay #chicago pd #chicago pd au #one chiacgo

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jalapeno-princess · 5 years ago

Text

Got7 As Occupations

Mark: Fireman

I don’t know why but Mark just gives me fireman vibes

HE CAN PUT OUT MY FIRE ANY DAY

ANYWAYS

He knew he wanted to be a fireman from the time he could talk

Mark loves helping people in any way he possibly can

He is also the biggest daredevil and loves a challenge

Wakes up early to exercise and prepare himself for the long day ahead of him

Literally everybody on the block knows him because of how kind and helpful he is

Don’t forget extremely attractive

One time he saved his neighbor’s cat from a tree

But he didn’t use a ladder or anything

The little shit climbed up the tree

His clumsy ass almost sprained his ankle but hey at least the cat was safe

Lets kids who visit the firehouse wear his helmet and sometimes even his jacket so they feel cool

Always offers to give tours of the firehouse to Jackson’s students because he loves informing people about the tough work firemen have to go through on a daily basis

All the women in the neighborhood swoon over him even if he’s covered in dust and sweat from work

Can you blame them though

Look @ him

An actual Greek God

Whenever there is a fire, he usually drives the fire truck because of how calm and collected he can be in stressful situations

Will risk his life every single time there is a fire just to make sure everyone else is safe

Gets scolded by Youngjae quite often because he isn’t careful and ends up getting burned a lot

Walks around the firehouse shirtless every day because he claims it’s hot when really he’s just trying to show off his washboard abs

Back to the fact that he’s very clumsy

Falls down the pole ALMOST EVERY SINGLE TIME

To the point where his coworkers made sure he takes the stairs

How can one be so muscular and fit and hot as fuck yet not know how to slide down a pole the world will never know

I was going to make a stripper Mark! but we’re pg13 in this household

Shows off his hose skills to the other firefighters

But ends up whacking himself in the face almost every single time

Honestly he’s the best

Gets promoted to the chief fireman after only a couple of months because he’s been getting a lot of compliments and praise from everyone in the community

Even if being a fireman can get hectic and dangerous sometimes

He wouldn’t change his job for anything else

Jaebum: Policeman

The idea of JB being a policeman drives me insane

HANDCUFF ME PLEASE

Becoming a police officer was the last thing JB thought he would do

But when one of his classmates got mugged and wasn’t able to press charges against the person

He knew he wanted to help out others and throw bad guys in jail

Has a tough and intimidating exterior

But he’s one of the sweetest cops there is

Only when he wants to be though

Most of the time he’s very rough and can get physical when he has to

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If he makes his quota for the day

He does not give a shit about what happens afterwards

Literally

Someone can be speeding or jaywalk right in front of him

And he’ll let them go just because he doesn’t want to file paperwork

I know what y’all are thinking

Yes

He is the typical cop that will stop for donuts and coffee

The girls who work at the bakery always give him pastries for free because who wouldn’t want to give this man free stuff like come on now

And he’ll even visit pet stores on his break

Sometimes he’s a little too nice and let’s everyone go

One time an old man was speeding so he pulled him over

But his heart wouldn’t allow him to give the man a ticket

Holds a gun just for looks because of what happened when he first started training

Accidentally shot a coworker in the shoulder but he’s fine

Will put on his lights and speed just to go home early

Sometimes he’ll wear his uniform even when he’s not working just to make people nervous

And to impress the ladies

He also likes to mess around with people and chase after cars only to turn a corner and act as if nothing ever happened

His mom packs him strawberry milk with his lunches everyday because even if he has this scary and tough exterior, he’s still the biggest mama’s boy

Jackson: Teacher

After watching Jackson on “Let Go of My Baby” he gives me elementary school teacher vibes

And when he was a mentor on produce 101

You can just tell he loves being able to educate and give knowledge to younger people

And he really loves kids

I think he’d be an amazing teacher

His classroom would be decked out

He’d start decorating months before school even started

Spends more money on materials for his students than he does on himself

Will learn the names of every single student in the school

Parents feel very lucky when they find out their child is in his class

Very bright and bubbly

Some of the other teachers are jealous of how amazing he is with the kids

It’s 7 A.M. why are you so energetic my dude

He’ll skip lunch with the other teachers just to eat with the students

Even plays with them at recess

Will give his all in to every single lesson

When he reads a story to the kids

He will use motions and changes the pitch of his voice when needed

Stays after school if there are students who weren’t picked up by their parents

If there is a door contest

This man will make sure to win them and over decorate his door

Makes sure every single student is involved and that they’re all following along

always hands out goodie bags

for

EVERY

SINGLE

HOLIDAY

If someone doesn’t understand something

He’ll have 1 on 1 tutoring sessions with them

If he feels that the students are overwhelmed

he’ll have a free day where they can do whatever they want

Wants nothing but the best for his students

The best teacher 10/10 recommended

Jinyoung: Lawyer

I saw Jinyoung as a teacher too

But for some reason

He also matches being a lawyer because of how intelligent he seems to be

And how he likes to fight with people

also

look at that face

i’d do anything he’d tell me to

Gave up his social life to get in to one of the most prestigious law schools

Graduated with a 3.9 G.P.A which still haunts him to this day

Uses very high vocabulary so that everyone around him feels dumb

Will fight with anyone if he feels that they are wrong

One time he argued with a Starbucks employee because they got his coffee order wrong and started using words like inadequate, incompetent and inept

Poor girl just wanted to go home

Like JB, he wanted to throw the bad guys in jail

He was so good with his words that every single person he went up against went straight to the slammer

Even before the jury got to make their vote everyone knew Jinyoung was going to win the case

Some of the judges get intimidated by him just because they don’t want to upset him

One time a judge disagreed with him

Jinyoung didn’t hesitate to put the man in his place

Poor guy retired early in attempts to not have to deal with him again

Don’t get me wrong

Jinyoung is a very sweet guy and wants nothing but the best for his clients

But don’t mess with him when it comes to his job and work ethic

Reads at least 5 books a day to increase his knowledge

You will find him in the library or at a bookstore when he’s not busy working on a case

One of the top lawyers in the country

Sometimes the courtrooms are packed just because everybody wants to witness the perfection that is Park Jinyoung

Will take a shot before every court session to get rid of his nerves

No matter how intimidating he may seem

He’s actually very shy outside of the courtroom

He is so in to his job that he will go missing for weeks on end to focus on a case

His face alone can get the judge to side with him

Youngjae: Doctor

I feel like he would be the sweetest doctor

One time when he was 8 years old, he got the flu and had to be hospitalized

The in house doctor in the emergency room was so kind and patient with him and got him everything he needed

It was in that moment that Youngjae realized he wanted to take care of people and nurse them back to health

Also

His mom’s doctor was retiring

And he wanted someone he could trust to take care of his mom

So boom

Boy went in to medical school with his momma on his mind

Please Stan Choi Youngjae he deserves the world

Not gonna lie

There were days that the pressure did get to him

Poor boy has seen some shit

He had to sit in on a lot of surgeries

Refused to become a surgeon because he cannot stand the sight of blood

Makes the nurses give the shots to his patients

Even if he’s really young for a doctor, boy knows his stuff

Would constantly get yelled at by stupid people who thought that doctors were miracle workers

No matter how hard he worked

And how quick he tried to be

Some people just could not be satisfied

However

Seeing the smiles from his patients made the job worth it

In the beginning, he would work with people of all ages

But he decided he loved working with kids the most

Plus he didn’t have to worry about their health as much as he did with the elderly

However, he did still help out with patients of all ages if and when he had the time

All the elderly women would squeal about how sweet he is and how dedicated he is to his job

They would even try to set him up with their granddaughters but Youngjae was too busy being a doctor to get in to a relationship

He would always bring food for his receptionists and fellow nurses to eat to thank them for all their hard work

Would say hi to every single patient he saw

Always gave stickers and lollipops to all the kids in the hospital

In his spare time, he would visit those with disabilities and sometimes he would bring gifts like flowers or stuffed animals to brighten their day like the ray of sunshine he is

Even if hospitals are sad and scary sometimes

Youngjae makes things so much brighter

BamBam: Zoo Keeper

Hahahahaha

You know I had to do it to my boy after that one interview in America where he said he’d wanna work at the zoo if he wasn’t in Got7

I was gonna put him down as a fashion designer

But I feel like this would be so much more fun

Growing up surrounded by animals made Bambam want to be around them 24/7

And since there’s an actual job for that

He didn’t hesitate to become a zoo keeper

There were many ups and downs that came with being a zoo keeper which Bambam had to learn the hard way

Like cleaning up elephant poop

Milking the cows

Giving the goats a bath

But at the same time

He loved being able to help the cute animals

No matter how stink and gross their habitats were

One time he slipped and fell in to the hippopotamus tank

He refuses to feed the hippos anymore

He would love to see the smiles on all the kids faces whenever they would see an animal they liked

It reminded him of himself and why he got in to this job

For a while he was the one to close up the zoo and he did a pretty good job at closing down all the exhibits

Unfortunately being the irresponsible guy he was

One night he forgot to lock the tiger cage

So when he came in to work the next morning and there was a tiger nonchalantly walking around

He knew he was in deep shit

He also was scared as fuck because a tiger walking outside of its cage bitch I ain’t got the time

But the weirdest thing happened

Since Bambam was known to spoil the animals

This meant over feeding them when he wasn’t supposed to

The tiger knew who Bambam was and trusted him

Therefore getting it back in to its cage wasn’t too hard

He did get a few scratches but we ain’t gonna talk about it

Some days he would sneak over to the petting zoo

And play with all the animals

He would get really distracted and forget about the tasks at hand

If he wasn’t where he was supposed to be, his coworkers knew where to find him

He loved his job so much he found himself at the zoo on his days off

The rest of the guys stopped hanging out with him because as much as they loved their friend

They were sick and tired of the zoo

Bambam just really loved the animals and hated being away from them

Which is why Jinyoung found one of the monkeys sleeping in his bed and threatened to get Bambam fired but left when he saw how much the monkey meant to his younger friend

Yugyeom: Chef

As much as I wanted to go with a dancer

Because he is so amazing

One of the best don’t @ me

I wanted to try something new for a change

I don’t know why but I can see him as a chef

Boy loves to eat

At first he was very hesitant at becoming a chef

He loved cooking for himself, his friends and his family

And he didn’t want to hate cooking by becoming a professional chef

But it just sorta happened one day and here he was

He first started off as a busboy at his favorite restaurant

And worked his way up to being a waiter

But he knew he didn’t want to just be the wait service

He had a passion and a lot of talent

And he wasn’t going to let it go to waste

He became a line cook and just a few months later after a lot of hard work and practice, he became head chef

He loves being able to cook for people and use his talent for good

His cheeks warm up every time someone compliments him on his cooking

Breaks the rules and doesn’t wear a chefs hat because it “makes him look weird”

Constantly invites the guys over to the restaurant to try his food

Practices dishes at home so he knows what he can do better

At one point his cooking got really popular that the restaurant he was working at started getting busier and busier

People would leave if they found out he wasn’t working

One time Emeril Lagasse contacted him and boy was SHOOK

He didn’t want to sound big headed or anything

Yugyeom knew he was good

But not get contacted by world renowned chef Emeril Lagasse about a collaboration good

Always tasted his food before sending it to the customer because he wanted nothing but the best quality of food

He got so famous that he even opened his own restaurant

Still hasn’t told the rest of the guys about it in fear of them eating all of the food

Would give out left overs to the homeless people that vacated near the restaurant

Still doesn’t know how to react to the praises he’d receive from the customers

Has his own engraved knife set that Mark got him for Christmas and it’s his most prized possession

Honestly he’s the cutest little chef

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 drabbles #mark tuan #jackson wang #Im Jaebeom #Im Jaebum #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #my kpop therapy boys

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unloveable-unreachable · 5 years ago

Text

You’re the One My Heart Wants- Chapter 12

Word Count: 6,481

Warnings: Mentions of bad past relationships. If for some reason this is triggering, please don’t read this chapter & Swearing

Author: Me

A/N: Anddd part of this chapter is for @christenohara, you’re welcome dude lol

Alex POV

I wake up to the warmth and weight of Y/N sleeping on top of me. She had her head resting on my chest and her arms wrapped around me, her breaths low and quiet. It was adorable seeing her this soft, considering how she acts on the pitch. She’s been known to intimidate opposing players just from her resting bitch face, well and her dominating footwork. She’s just a big teddy bear with a hard past and family life. A past that she hasn’t really spoken to me about, especially the stuff Ali brought up last night before dinner. I hate the thought of anyone hurting her: past relationships, old girlfriend’s families, and even her own family. She’s the most caring and sweetest person I’ve ever known, so why would anyone treat her so badly for being her? She can be pretty stubborn though, but I’ll just blame that on Kelley. It’s not my place to force her, if she wants to tell me about her past then she will. While I’m lost in my thoughts, I’m stroking my girlfriend’s hair which causes her grip around me to tighten slightly and her to snuggle her face into my chest. I smiled softly at the sight of her, knowing that I would be completely and fully happy waking up next to her for the rest of my life. That’s something I’ll keep to myself though…

After a few more moments, I hear her mumble something while she moves slightly. Her eyes open slowly before she squints them in response to the sunlight coming through our window. She rolls over to her back and groans as she covers her eyes with her hands when the alarm goes off. “Well, good morning to you too,” I said with a small laugh while I shut off the alarm. She peeks her eyes out from between her fingers to look at me, a smile forming on her face. “Good morning, babe,” she says with a yawn, “I hate mornings, I swear. Well, besides getting to wake up next to you.” She gives me a goofy smile and a wink after her statement, which causes me to hit her shoulder with a laugh. “Yeah, yeah,” I say while rolling my eyes, “Trying to be cute while you’re grumpy isn’t a good combo. Now, if you want breakfast you’re going to have to get up now because we have to leave for training soon.” That causes her to groan loudly before getting out of bed. She stops at the end of the bed and stretches, allowing me to catch a glimpse of her abs. “Hey now,” Y/N says when she catches me staring, “I may be a tease but keep it in your pants, you goof.” I laugh as I get up from the bed and head over to my suitcase, “Can you blame me? You’re hot. Just stating facts.” As I got dressed she yelled from the bathroom, “Oh yeah, says the swimsuit model!” I rolled my eyes while I grabbed my phone and my bag as I walked towards the bathroom, “I’m heading downstairs, I’ll see you at breakfast. This fake argument isn’t over either.” She gave me a soft smile, which I returned, and nodded her head before giving me a quick kiss.

When I get down to breakfast, Kelley and Allie call me over to go sit with them while I grab something quick to eat. “Hey, Al,” they both say as I sit down. “Hey, guys,” I answer as Kelley gives me a look, “Something wrong, Kel? You’ve got a weird look on your face.” She let out a small laugh as she looked over at Allie then back at me, “I guess you’re in a better mood today, compared to last night.” “What do you mean?” I asked with a confused look. She let out a low sigh as she said, “Last night you were a little on edge, especially when it came to Y/N. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a little jealous of her friends being clingy and Lindsey sitting on h--” “I wasn’t jealous,” I say quickly, interrupting her. She looked over at Allie before they both started laughing, “Okay, yeah. Sure, Al. Jealous or not, you were in a weird mood the whole night. Am I wrong?” I looked at both of them for a few moments, trying to read their expressions. Which, of course, all I see is knowing looks. I let out a loud sigh as I ran my hand over my face before saying, “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re not wrong. I wasn’t jealous. I just had a lot on my mind and it put me in a weird mood. I’m sorry if that put you guys in a weird situation.” Right after I said that I see Y/N walk in the room. She smiled when she saw me and headed towards our table after talking to JJ and Crystal. “It’s fine, Alex,” Allie says, drawing my attention back to them, “We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” “I’m okay, guys. I promise,” I answer with a smile as my girlfriend took the seat next to me. “What are we talking about?” Y/N asked with a confused look. “Just about last night,” Kelley answered while glancing over at me, “Dinner, and everyone’s Instagram stories mostly.” “Oh, yeah,” Y/N said while she pulled out her phone, “I haven’t even looked at them yet.” She set her phone down on the table while she ate so she could watch what was going on. She laughed every now and then while she watched each video pass through her screen. I watched her as she smiled at the chaos of Lindsey’s story and the jokes on Sonnett’s, and it made me smile for a moment. The moment is short-lived whenever she clicks on Ash’s story, and the first thing that pops up is the video of her and her friends. My smile fades while I watch the videos go on with Lindsey on her lap, and try my best to hide my discomfort.

Y/N groans as she watched the rest of the videos she and her friends were in and Kelley laughs at her reaction. “What are you laughing at, Smalls?” Y/N asks with a fake glare. “Oh, nothing, Biggie Smalls,” Kelley said through her laughs, “But it looks like we need to leave you and Janice alone to talk.” All three of them look at me to see the discomfort clear across my face. Allie and Kelley get up and walk over to Tobin and Christen’s table a few moments later, leaving Y/N the only one staring at me. “Alex?” she asked quietly, “Is there something wrong that you want to tell me?” I sighed before looking at her, seeing her light blue eyes full of confusion. “It’s just the same stuff we talked about last night,” I say reluctantly, “The videos just brought it all up again. I’m sorry, nothing’s wrong. I promise.” She gave me a sad look before nodding her head. “Okay,” she said while taking my hand in hers, “If you say so, babe…” “I do say so,” I answer, “I promise I’m fine, we’re fine.” Y/N’s sad expression has faded as she gives me a soft smile, which I return. After a moment of getting stuck in a trance caused by the changing colors of Y/N’s eyes, I pull her in for a quick kiss. “Alright, break it up,” we hear Ash say as we pull away from the kiss a few seconds later, “There are children present. Save that for your room.” She motioned to Mal and Tierna sitting at the next table as she and Ali sat down across from us. I gave them a smirk as Y/N rolled her eyes at them while saying, “Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the tip, mom.” Ash laughs while Ali asks about how things went with my family last night. We talk for a few more minutes before we head out of the hotel to the vans for training.

Y/N POV

Saying that I’m glad to be able to train again would be a fucking understatement. I’ve missed everything about training: the drills, scrimmaging, and even the running (if you can believe that). Being stuck on the sidelines for two whole weeks has been brutal, only because I wanted to be out there playing with everyone else. So yeah, I’m excited about how things are going at training, for once. “Way to go Y/N!” Jill yelled from the sideline after I scored another goal in our 2v2 scrimmages, “I’m glad to see that you didn’t let those two weeks put you behind everyone else. Keep up the hard work. Next goal wins!” I smiled and gave her a thumbs-up while I walked back into position. “You’re doing really good, Y/N,” Alex says from beside me, “I mean, you have a great partner so that definitely helps how good you’re doing.” I rolled my eyes at her with a smile as I hit her arm, “Alright, alright. My partner is pretty good, definitely helping us kick ass. Let’s win this one so we can get training over with.” She gave me a mischievous grin and a wink as she passed me the ball, “I love you, you goof.” “I know you do!” I yell as I head down the pitch, getting past Sonny with ease thanks to my quick footwork and speed. “How are you so fucking fastttt?!” Sonny yells as she tries to keep up with me, causing me to laugh while I passed the ball to Alex. As Sonny and I moved up the pitch towards the goal, I watched Alex go 1v1 against Kelley. Kelley was trash talking as Alex tried everything to get past her, it was pretty funny if I’m being honest. Alex had a smile plastered across her face as she listened to Kelley, and it only grew when she managed to get past her after Kelley tripped over her own feet. Alex sees me open near the goal as Kelley starts catching up with her, and quickly sends a long ball towards the goal. I moved on goal as Sonny stayed right on my ass, and stretched my leg out in time for my foot to meet the ball just before it hit the pitch. I did a small turn with the ball at my feet as I stepped back, causing Sonny to overrun me just enough to give me space to shoot my shot on goal. “Fuck, you,” Sonny groaned when the ball hit the back of the net, “I just want to beat you once, just fucking once! Kelley, next time you’re on Y/N. Her footwork is fucking impossible to keep up with, but at least you can keep up with her and her long ass legs.” I laughed and patted Sonny on the shoulder as Jill called the end of training.

Alex jumped on my back while we walked back towards our stuff, “You really kicked some ass out there, Y/N. It was like these past two weeks never happened. I’m proud of you, baby.” I smiled as she kissed my cheek while I continued to carry her to the sidelines, “Thanks, babe. I was just happy to be back on the pitch. I’m really glad you were my partner today though, it was a nice change for once. Normally I’m stuck with Sonny or Lindsey and that always ends in an argument or uncontrollable laughter.” She laughed in agreement to my statement since we all know how Lindsey and Sonny can get. When we got to our bags, I set her down on the ground and sat down on the bench. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly as she sat down next to me, “I know we didn’t really talk through what happened at breakfast, and you just seemed a little distracted…” She sighed as she untied her cleats and tossed her shin guards into her bag. We sat there in awkward silence for a moment before she turned to face me. “I’m okay,” she said quietly, “The stuff that happened last night and this morning, isn’t important. I’m not upset anymore, I’m fine. If for some reason I need to talk to you about what’s going on in my head, I will. I won’t put you through the same thing I did last night where you were confused and I was being possessive. I promise, baby.” I wasn’t fully convinced by what she said, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt since I love her more than words can describe. Also because I didn’t want to start an argument over something this stupid. I nodded my head and gave her a soft smile while she said, “Come on, let's go back to the hotel and change. I want to spend the rest of the day with you in Paris before we’re too busy to enjoy it.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the vans with a bright smile plastered across her face, causing me to laugh with a goofy ass grin.

After we got to the hotel, we both showered and put on some comfortable clothes to walk around in. While I finished putting my hair up and looked at my outfit in the mirror, a tie-dye t-shirt with jean shorts and my favorite pair of Vans, I notice that Alex is digging through my suitcase. “And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” I asked with a small smile while crossing my arms and leaning against the wall. Alex jumped when she realized she wasn’t being as sneaky as she thought. “I’m looking for a shirt to wear,” she said with a sheepish smile, “I like how soft yours are…” I let out a small laugh because surprisingly she wasn’t the first person to say that to me. All four of my idiot best friends have all said that at least once or twice whenever they borrow my clothes, but they aren’t who I’m reminded of whenever Alex said that. That’s for another time, hopefully something I never have to address… “Y/N?” I hear Alex ask, pulling me out of the thoughts from my past, “Are you okay, baby?” I realize that she’s staring at me with a concerned look while she held two of my shirts. I moved off of the wall, stood up straight and gave her a smile as I nodded my head, “Yeah, babe. I’m fine. I was just remembering something from a long time ago…” She took a step towards me and placed her hands on my cheeks, causing me to tense up slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, not taking her eyes off me. I closed my eyes and shook my head as my body relaxed. “No, Alex. We don’t need to talk about it right now, okay?” I say as I wrap my arms around her waist, “It’s just a lot to unload on you. We’ll talk about it at some point, just not now.” She sighed slightly before caressing my cheek, “Okay, Y/N. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I just want to help you whenever something’s bothering you. You know that, right?” I smiled down at my girlfriend while I tightened my grip around her slightly, “I know, babe. Thank you for that, seriously. I promise I’ll talk to you about it at some point.” She gave me a smirk as she nodded her head before pulling me in for a quick kiss. “I love you so much, Y/N,” she said whenever we pulled away. “I love you so much more, Al,” I say with a small grin, “And I always will, no matter what.” She leaned up and kissed my nose before giving me a smile as she pulled me towards the bed. “Okay,” she says, “Now, help me pick a shirt to wear so we can meet Kelley and Allie downstairs.” She held up two different shirts, one is a pastel purple and the other is for my favorite band. “So, we’re still sharing my clothes,” I said with a laugh as she blushed slightly, “We’ve moved on from pajamas to the rest of my wardrobe, I see. Where did you even find that one? I didn’t know I packed it.” I was pointing to the band shirt as she just smiled at me before saying, “I like your clothes. Like I said, they’re soft. Now, help meeee.” I groaned softly before picking the pastel purple, “That one will look good on you, and I won’t mind if you end up stealing it. The other one is for my favorite band and I don’t want it to end up in your suitcase.” She smiled brightly while she kissed my cheek and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

After we left the hotel, we just walked around the stores nearby for an hour or so. Alex was mostly with Allie since they both enjoyed shopping way more than me and Kelley. When we found yet another store that they wanted to go in, Kelley and I opted out and said we would wait on a bench for them. Alex whined and pouted for me to go in the store with her for a few moments before she finally gave up. Since she couldn’t kiss me, like she looked like she wanted to, so she just settled with a smile and a wink before stepping in the store with Allie. “You two are pretty cute,” Kelley said after a few minutes of sitting on the bench together, “Totally and completely in love. You know, she really needed someone like you to come along and make her life fucking great. She talks about you a lot whenever you’re not around. You’ve got her whipped for sure.” “Thanks, Smalls,” I say with a soft smile and a laugh, “We make each other really happy. I really do love her, like it’s scary sometimes. But you know all about that, don’t you?” Kelley gave me a soft smile and a nod since she knew what I was referring to, as I continued, “Do you miss Casey whenever we’re at tournaments like this? I know you told us that she can’t be here for a while because of work…” Kelley’s smile faded a little as she sighed loudly. She ran her hands over her face before saying, “Yeah, Biggie Smalls. I really do… But I know she’ll be here as soon as she can. We Facetime every day before she goes to work and she calls me right before I go to bed whenever she gets off work. So, I mean that helps a little while we’re away. But, it’s not like what you and Alex have…” I looked at her with a confused look before asking, “What do you mean?” She looked around us to make sure we were still alone before turning back to me, “You get to be with her every day here, and when we go back home you’ll still see her every day. Even if you aren’t sharing a room anymore. Casey lives in D.C. while I live in Utah and Atlanta. I don’t know, it’s just hard I guess. I love her so much, Biggie Smalls…” She had a small upset look after she finished, which caused me to place my hand on her shoulder to give her a little comfort. “Kel,” I say quietly, “If you love her as much as I know you do then, hear me out here, why don’t you move to D.C. to be with her just during the off-season? I mean, if it were me, I’d move anywhere in the world just to be with Alex.” The upset look on her face was replaced with a bright smile as she pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you, Y/N,” she said when we pulled away, “I hadn’t really thought of that. I’ll have to talk to her about it, but I think that’s what I’m going to do.” I smiled at her as she continued talking excitedly, like a child, about moving to be with her girlfriend.

“You know what’s kinda funny?” She asked after a few moments. “What?” I answered, a little worried about what she could possibly say. “You and I, Biggie Smalls and Smalls,” she said while motioning between us, “Both have secret girlfriends. What a time to be alive!” She was laughing loudly, which caused me to laugh even louder as I hit her shoulder. “You’re such an idiot,” I say through my laughter. “You still love me though,” she says with a wink and a goofy grin. “This is true,” I say as I rolled my eyes, still laughing along with her. “What’s going on over here?” we hear Alex ask over our laughter a few seconds later. We continued laughing as we both turned to look at the two starting at us with multiple bags in their hands. Kelley’s eyes got wide as she kept laughing, “Oh, nothing. Just talking about our love lives, nothing special.” I hit her arm to get her to keep it down while Alex looked over at me. “Oh, really?” she asked with a small smirk as she raised an eyebrow at me, “Those love lives must be pretty funny based on how you two are acting. God help the people you two are dating.” Allie laughed along with Alex as they started walking down the street with me and Kelley following close behind. “I mean, they’re pretty great actually,” Kelley said with a grin, causing Alex and Allie to turn around, “Anyone would be lucky to date Smalls or Biggie Smalls of the United States Women’s National Team. And as far as we know, they both know how lucky they are.” She wiggled her eyebrows at Alex while I blushed at the shit she just said with my hand covering my mouth. “Don’t fall for it, Al,” Allie said with a small laugh, “She’s just trying to get under your skin.” Alex stood there and stared at Kelley for what felt like forever before a smile formed on her face, “I’m not going to argue about this with you in the middle of Paris, Kel. But if you really wanted an answer, they do know how lucky they are. Extremely lucky, in fact.” Alex glanced over at me whenever she said that last part with the smile still present on her face. Kelley hit my shoulder with a laugh as I smiled and nodded towards Alex. “Come onnn,” Allie whined a few seconds later, “I’m hungryyy.” Kelley took that as her opportunity to jump on Allie’s back while we walked towards a nearby restaurant.

Alex POV

After we ate, we were back to walking up and down the streets of Paris that weren’t too far from the hotel. Kelley was with Allie now, making videos for each other’s Instagram story, and I was hanging back with Y/N. We were walking as close to each other as we could since we can’t hold hands like we’d like to because of the public, also because she had all of my bags in her hands. Chivalry isn’t dead, just FYI. Y/N looked like she was lost in her thoughts for a moment before I nudged her shoulder, “You okay?” She looked over at me to see the same concerned look that I gave her in our room earlier. I knew something was bothering her and I wanted to help. I just don’t know how much I can help though. “I’m fine,” she said with a small smile, “Just a lot on my mind right now.” I stopped walking and grabbed her wrist. “Kelley, Allie we’ll catch up with you guys in a minute,” I said to the two in front of us, who nodded while they kept walking. Y/N watched them keep walking down the street before she turned to look at me, “What’s wrong?” I pulled her over to a nearby bench and looked into her eyes as I said, “Nothing’s wrong, at least not with me. Talk to me, Y/N. I know something’s wrong because you’re acting a little weird. Weirder than usual, actually.” She just stared at me for a moment, seeing how worried I am. Whatever was bothering her must be pretty serious since she hasn’t spoken yet. She sighed a few minutes later before saying, “It’s just that stuff I didn’t really want to talk about back in our room earlier.” “Does it have something to do with what Ali told me last night?” I asked quietly. I could see her body physically tense up and her jaw clench at my question. She took a few long, deep breaths before she looked at me again. Her eyes were stone-cold and she was giving me an Ashlyn Harris look. I must’ve set something off in her without realizing it. “What did Ali tell you?” Y/N asked quietly through gritted teeth.

I shifted in my seat as a reaction to the way she was looking at me since she’s never looked at me like this before. “All she said was that she and Ash were worried about you meeting my family,” I answered quietly, “Because you’ve had issues in the past with meeting your girlfriend’s family…” Y/N’s face didn’t change much, still stone-cold but her eyes softened a little. She took another long breath before saying, “She shouldn’t have told you that. But in any case…in the past I have had issues with my girlfriend’s family. Mostly because they didn’t want their daughter to be gay or believe that she was. One time they took it out on me instead of her, calling me names and yelling at me while she just stood there and watched…” She paused so she could compose herself, probably remembering everything that’s happened to her, and it took everything in me to not hold her hand to give her some comfort. “It’s okay, Y/N,” I said, causing her to look up at me with tears forming in her eyes, “We don’t have to keep talking about this. I’m not going to force you into talking about something that hurt you in the past that obviously upsets you.” She shook her head before saying, “No, I want to talk to you about this. You should at least know something about it… What’s been bothering me for a good part of the day is something you said in the room. It triggered a memory from my last relationship and not a good memory at that. She was great at the beginning, then I don’t know something changed. Her family didn’t approve of us dating and made that pretty clear throughout our relationship. Then near the end of our relationship, things got...messy. She would get mad about how much time I spent at training and with the team. She started being hateful towards me and said that her family was right about me. She hurt me in every way possible, mentally and emotionally. I finally had it after a few months and broke up with her. It never got physical, but it could’ve if I didn’t end it when I did. There’s more that happened after the breakup but it’s something I don’t talk about, even with Ali and Ash. I tell Kelley everything, and she doesn’t even know...” She paused again to wipe her tears away, deep in thought, while I looked at her with tears forming in my eyes.

She turned to face me and placed her hands on my shoulders, “I don’t want you to think that I don’t love your family, because I truly do. They’ve treated me so great from the moment they met me. It’s something I wasn’t used to, but it’s honestly the best thing I could ever ask for. I love them all, almost as much as I love you. I don’t want any of this to scare you away... I just have a messy past that I don’t like talking about. I’m not shutting you out when I don’t tell you these things, they’re just not important to me anymore. They don’t make me happy to think about, let alone talk about with anyone. My happiness is more important to me and you’re a source of my happiness, Alex. Please don’t leave me…” She had tears falling to her cheeks and if I’m being honest here, I was a crying mess. She looked so broken and fragile, not like the Y/N I knew. It was breaking my heart. She was right when she said this was a lot to unload, but I was mostly crying because she’s afraid I’ll leave her. I’d never do that in a million years. “I would never leave you, Y/N,” I said through my sniffling, “I fucking hate that all of that happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I would never fucking hurt you the way she did, you’re perfect just the way you are. My family absolutely loves you, probably more than they love me. They would never treat you the way those other people did. If my mom knew about this, she would do everything in her power to protect you from hateful people like that. I love you more than anything. Nothing you say to me will scare me away and there’s nothing that would cause me to leave you. I’m in this for the long haul, I promise.” She smiled when I finished while she wiped my tears away and pulled me in for a quick hug. “I love you more, babe,” she whispered in my ear. “Not possible,” I whispered back as we pulled away from our hug. After a few minutes, I get a call from Kelley, “Hey, where are you guys? The team is getting ready for team bonding and dinner so… Come on, lovebirds!” I laugh while letting her know we were on our way as Y/N and I stood up from the bench and headed towards the hotel, our smiles never fading.

The Next Day- Thailand Match

“Alex, wake up,” I hear my girlfriend say as I cuddled more into her, not wanting to wake up just yet, “Come on, babe. We have to get up and go downstairs before they send a search party for us. It’s game day, and you’re not going to make us late.” I groaned as I opened my eyes to see a pretty annoyed face coming from Y/N. “Well, aren’t we happy this morning?” I said, causing her to give me a small smile as she rolled her eyes, “Good morning, baby.” She leaned down and kissed my forehead before saying, “Good morning, sleepy head. And I am happy, by the way. Who gets to wake up next to Alex Morgan every day? That would be me, and that’s definitely something to be happy about. Oh, and it’s game day and I actually get to play today.” She was smiling brightly as she talked, it was adorable. I couldn’t help but let the smile on my face grow as she talked. “Now, as I was saying earlier,” she said as she flipped me over on my back and hovered over me, “It’s time to get up and go down to breakfast so we can go to the stadium.” I rolled my eyes as I said, “Okay, fine. I’m awake.” She grinned at me as I went to pull her down for a kiss. “Nope,” she said as she pulled away and hopped off the bed, leaving me with an upset look, “No kisses till you get up and get dressed so we aren’t late. No, no. Don’t pout at me, we should’ve been downstairs already.” I groaned at the fact that my pouting didn’t work this time as I got up from the bed. “You’re no fair,” I whined as I walked past her, causing her to laugh. “You still love me though,” she said quickly as I stepped into the bathroom. “Mhm, sure,” I say as I peered my head out to look at her with a smirk and a wink.

While I was in the bathroom, I hear a loud banging on the door. “Calm down, I’m coming,” Y/N says before she opened the door. “Why aren’t you at breakfast already?” I hear someone ask after the door was opened. I peered my head out of the bathroom to see Ali and Y/N bickering. “I was just about to come downstairs, I swear,” Y/N said before she realized I was listening to their conversation, “I had to make sure Alex got up since she insisted on oversleeping.” “Hey!” I said as she turned to look at me with a goofy grin, “I didn’t mean to oversleep. I’m up now and almost ready to go, but you can go down with Ali if you want to. I’ll meet you down there. Also, who almost made us late yesterday morning?” Y/N rubbed the back of her neck while she gave me an apologetic smile, knowing I had a point. Ali looked between the two of us before she started giggling. “Why are you giggling, Ali?” Y/N asked while she stood in between us with her arms crossed. Ali continued giggling as she said, “You two bicker more than me and Ash do. And you’ve only been dating for what, almost two months now? You’re like an old married couple.” Y/N groaned as she went to push Ali out of our room while I laughed. “Yeah, yeah whatever you say, mom,” she said once she finally managed to get Ali out in the hallway, “I’ll see you down there, babe. I love you.” “What? It’s cute, Y/N,” I hear Ali say from the hallway with laughter clear in her voice. I smiled at my struggling girlfriend as I said, “I’ll be down there in two minutes, I promise. I love you more, baby.” The last thing I saw before the door closed was her shining blue eyes and a beaming smile. Damn, I could get used to that. It definitely made me get ready a whole lot faster.

Y/N POV

Breakfast was uneventful since we were all talking about today’s match and how we needed to show that our team is a force to be reckoned with. Alex ended up sitting with Allie, Kelley, JJ, Crystal, and Becky since I was already at a full table. I was sandwiched between my moms while we sat with Pinoe, Christen, Tobin, and Carli. We talked more and more game tactics before we needed to get on the bus, which only continued for the entire bus ride. “I think if we start off guns blazing we should be pretty good,” Ash said while making a lot of hand gestures. Typical Ash. “Guns blazing?” Ali asked with a skeptical look, “What are you twelve? Jesus, Ash. I love you, but say it in a more grown-up way.” “When has she ever been a grown-up?” I asked with a laugh. That caused our little group to bust out laughing while Ash punches my shoulder. “Hey now,” Ash says through her laughter, “Look who’s talking? What are you like ten-years-old?” After laughing at what Ash said, our conversation fell back into game tactics with more grown-up words. When the bus came to a stop maybe 30 minutes later, Jill stood up and gave out instructions, “Okay, ladies. I want you to change into your warm-up gear and meet me and the rest of the coaches out on the pitch in the next 20 minutes. We need to get in some more drills before it’s game time. Let’s go!”

Everyone grabbed their things and rushed off the bus towards the locker room. While I’m walking next to Ash, I feel someone throw their arm around my shoulders. I pulled out my headphones and turned to see who could possibly be messing with me while I get my head in game mode. I should’ve known it was Sonny with her big ass grin. “What do you want, Emily?” I said with a smirk since I knew she didn’t like it when I called her by her first name. “First off, who is this Emily you speak of? Because last time I checked, my name is Sonny,” she said with a fake confused expression, “Second, I was just wishing you good luck. Since I’ll be watching my three very best friends kick ass today.” I smiled at her and thanked her before she ran off with Lindsey to bug Rose and Mal. After we all got changed and went out to the pitch, Jill separated us based on our positions. The warm-up only lasted maybe an hour before we were told to go back to our locker rooms to get dressed for the match. “You ready, kiddo?” Ali asked while I finished tying my cleats, “I know you’ve been out of it for the past two weeks, so it’s alright to be nervous.” I smiled up to her as I stood up, meeting her gaze. “I’m more than ready, mom,” I say with confidence, “I’m actually not nervous, for once. I feel like this match is going to be fucking amazing.” She laughed as she pulled me in for a hug. “Don’t smother the starter, babe,” Ash says as she walks up to us, “She’s got some ass to kick.” I laughed along with them as I gave Ash one of our bear hugs. “Hey, don’t smother me either!” Ash said while trying to get out of my grasp. I let go and gave her an apologetic smile as she patted the top of my head with one of her goofy grins. “Ladies,” Jill says from the doorway a moment later, “It’s time to get in the tunnel. Let’s go!” As I walked between my moms towards the door, I catch Alex’s eyes. She smiled at me, which I returned, and mouthed ‘I love you’ before she went to the front of our line. I didn’t have to answer her because she knew I loved her almost as much as she loves me. I’ll talk to her during halftime, we need to stay focused on the task at hand. While in the tunnel, all I hear is white noise while I drown out the sound of the crowd.

Our first match of the tournament, here we go.

To Be Continued

#alex morgan #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #ali krieger #ashlyn harris #krashlyn #kelley o’hara #allie long #emily sonnett #uswnt #uswnt imagines #nwsl #nwsl imagines #woso #woso imagine

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glassandmetalwings · 4 years ago

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Wings Talks Manga: A Year in Review, Part 1 (Completed stories)

Last year, I told myself I was going to actually really more manga and watch more anime, because despite it being my main style I hadn’t actually read much in awhile. And I actually managed to get a lot done for one year. So below is a list of stories I read/watched and a few quick thoughts on them. Despite having my list open, I’m still probably not going to get to all of them, but I can try.

Be warned for spoilers.

T.egami Bachi (manga)

I love. Anyone following this tag of mine knows this has been a long journey and that I loved every minute of it. The world is beautiful, the characters are great, the emotions run high...it’s incredibly cathartic and engaging. I will never stop lauding it.

Jiu Jiu (manga)

A short series I picked up from the library that I never really covered, but that I enjoyed. Sometimes it felt a little slow to work through, but it was cute and I got really attached to the characters over five volumes. Like the mangaka, I wish there had been more opportunity to delve deeper into some of the story elements, because especially near the end it got confusing. Also I’m assuming it ended in a poly relationship? The protag grows up and has babies but you can’t really tell which love interest is the father, if either are. They’re all together in the final picture and I support it but it also bugs me bc I am confused.

Dreamin’ Sun (manga)

Mixed feelings on this one. I honestly expected a modern fantasy involving a baku going into this based on the back cover. I was wrong. I was really cute, if not overwhelmingly emotionally frustrating/full of secondhand embarassment at some points. The characters are super well-developed and continue to evolve and grow through the series. I will forever complain about the protag falling in love and centering her life around an adult man, but there were also some very touching elements that I can’t help but remember fondly.

The Wize Wize Beasts of the the Wizarding Wizdoms (manga)

The first of a lot of BL I read this year, which is honestly very new to me. My introduction to Nagabe. I’ve mentioned there’s one story I’m not too fond of, but it could be my interpretation of it. Overall very much loved it and especially love the art style.

K.amisama Kiss (manga)

I series I kind of picked up on a whim and absolutely fell in love with. Cute, funny, touching, well-thought out. There were some elements I didn’t understand (like the end), but my enjoyment overall made up for it. The one thing I wish for was a little more development for some of the minor characters. Also I love Mizuki and his development throughout the series. He makes me emotional.

Our Dining Table (manga)

Another cute, simple love story about two guys making food. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this other than it’s cute and you should read it. Although I obviously have no issues with teenage protags, it was refreshing to have a love story about two working adults that didn’t have to involve sex. Also can totally understand one guy’s aversion to eating with others, even if my own isn’t as severe.

Love on the Other Side (manga)

More Nagabe. Really, really cute. I love the story with the bird (of course). The softness of the stories and Nagabe’s art style really have stolen my heart.

B.lack Butler: Book of Circus (anime)

We all know why I watched this. Sadly the ending is as gruesome as the manga, and the one or two scenes they added didn’t play well on the DVD. But still a delight (up until the end).

The Devil is a Part-Timer (anime)

Interesting. Funny. A good world base, but I feel they could have developed it a little more, and the last episode kind of soured it a little for me because there was no really wrap-up. But I liked the characters and had a lot of fun watching it while crocheting. Wish there was a season two.

The Bride was a Boy (manga)

A brief autobiographical manga about a trans woman, filled with lots of tidbits about transgender individuals and things like HRT. Short, sweet, cute, and full of love and joy. Again, not much to say other than I recommend it.

Fractale (anime)

A lot to process. I think I would need to watch it again to fully wrap my head around it, if not more than once. An interesting world, great character, engaging story, and beautiful animation. Plus just...kinda relevant in a way that’s hard to describe. Think ease of technology verses governmental control via tech. I really loved the episode about the mysterious photographer. Plus I just fell in love with the ending song.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (anime)

Yes, I’d never watched this before. Gonna say, not my favorite Miazaki, but as usual an excellent story with a lot of background and development. And of course I loved the creature design. Glad to finally have it watched, after all these years, but I also can’t help but wonder what the original English release was like, knowing they cut/edited a lot. Because a lot of that violence and death was...kinda necessary to understanding character motives.

H.aibane Renmei (anime)

Again, another series that’s been at the top of my list for forever. I didn’t even have an excuse not to watch is as I own the DVDs. Excellent, and touching, if not cutting a little too close to home at times (like self-harm/BFRB). Really my introduction to ABe, and I have to say I never saw the ending coming. But would definitely watch again and again. Kinda wish I could do a cosplay for this series (I’d probably be Nemu, or one of the masked characters), but I feel like you need a group for it.

G.osick (anime)

I didn’t complete this one, I’m sorry. I think the art is great, and the arcs in concept are amazing...but it falls through in the delivery. The characters don’t really feel like they have driving motives behind their actions, and sometimes the evidence and stuff are things you can’t discern from watching (’I can tell you aren’t the daughter of a coal baron because you walk short distances before turning sharply and walking the other way, like you’re pacing in a small psych ward cell’-yes, that’s a real example). Lots of potential, but not great. Sorry.

Wolf Children (anime)

Very cute. Beautiful anime. I don’t think I can say much about this that hasn’t already been said. My favorite part is the ending where she’s saying goodbye just because of how both painfully and empoweringly emotional it is.

5 Centimeters Per Second (anime)

Not bad, but probably not my favorite. It didn’t help that the version I was watching didn’t translate all of the writing, so I feel like I missed a lot of elements. While the story is definitely a sentiment I can get behind, it was also a little bit unsatisfying for me, especially at the end. But idk, maybe I just don’t like the idea of moving on when there’s the opportunity to not.

Colorful (anime)

It was...a film. About a suicide. Looking back I don’t particularly feel strongly either way about it. I think the ending was good, and giving the protag some sort of motivation, but it took forever to really get to a point where I cared about him (or he seemed to really care about the body he was inhabiting and the person he was trying to be). Some of the stuff was just...uncomfortable. It’s probably worth watching, but overall I wasn’t wowed by it.

Ibistu (manga)

My first shrink-wrapped manga. It ties together very well in the end, and the horror and violence elements did elicit some very visceral reactions in me (particularly the threat of the iron and, later, the staples). The short stories were also good, particularly the doll factory one, but I wasn’t the most fond of the one about the mangaka. Just know there’s a reason it’s shrink-wrapped and it’s not a ‘positive’ one.

A Silent Voice (anime)

Probably one of my favorite films. While I didn’t always understand the motivations behind some of the characters or their actions, it wasn’t in a way that made me uncomfortable like some of the things in Colorful did. It felt more natural for them to be irrational. Again, there is suicide, so be warned if you don’t want to deal with that. But the story is sweet and the characters are amazing. But I also have a weakness for things involving sign language and communication.

Children Who Chase Lost Voices (anime)

Very cool. Beautiful landscapes. Gave me very strong Princess Mononoke vibes at some points, but it also stood as its own story with interesting characters there are elements I wish we could have delved deeper into, though. Also...what war did the teacher fight in? It didn’t look very modern. Also also I will forever wince at the pronunciation of ‘Quetzalcoatl’. Death is a strong theme in it, so be prepared if you watch it.

The Boy and the Beast (anime)

Excellent character design. Excellent story. Excellent animation. My one complaint would be that the climax felt kind of thrown together, even though it tied back to the beginning in a good way. But overall a beautiful world with some great humor and intense elements.

The Garden of Words (anime)

Spoiler: again a story about a kid falling in love with an adult. From a platonic standpoint, the story still feels a little weird, particularly in terms of the woman’s motivations, but looking back her not getting too involved in him missing school...kinda feels like what I would do to, especially in her situation. It’s sweet, though. Maybe it’s just me and my preferences, but some elements feel a bit incomplete, and I wish had been explored/wrapped up.

Summer Wars (anime)

Probably a favorite on the films list. Again, beautiful animation. I’m not going to get over this style. But I especially liked the design of OZ and the excess of blank space in it. Characters were many but great (although I didn’t get the one baseball player was part of the family until almost the end, but that says more about me and paying attention). Even Mom got really engaged in it when I had her watch it with me (I also had her watch Wolf Children, which I thought she would like more, but apparently not). There is a character death, but if you don’t mind that it’s definitely a watch.

Beauty and the Beast Girl (manga)

A cute little story about a blind girl and a dragon girl falling in love-what more could you want? Their histories actually tie together in a really neat way. Honestly my one complaint would be that the ending feels a little too ideal and easily wrapped-up. But sometimes we need things to be that perfect, you know?

P.andora Heart (manga)

The other big story I tackled this year. There were points that were a bit slow/disengaging to me, but overall once I got hooked I really loved it. I think I need a second read to really fully understand it (if that’s possible), but equal parts cute, intense, and bittersweet. Elliot’s whole development was probably my favorite bit.

The God and the Flightless Messenger (manga)

My last story of 2020, and a very cute one at that. Another short story, with beautiful art. I don’t...really know what to say about it. It’s cute, and the love story feels both very natural and almost...secondary? Idk how to describe that. The relationship between the two of them is obviously key, but it’s the type of story where ‘I love you’ isn’t needed. It’s already there.

So yeah, there’s the list. It’s a long list. I probably still missed some. I might try to make a second list with ‘in progress’ series but I’ll be playing that by ear. I’d love to hear some of you all’s thoughts on these stories (if you’ve read/watched them), or which you now want to read/watch!

#wings talks manga

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originalbnhascenarios · 5 years ago

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class 1a reacting to finding out that yn/n's mom is a villain? like, y/n is out on a jog and the class is watching the news when theres breaking news of an s class villain spreading havoc? one of them points out it sorta looks like y/n bc of the hair and skin, but no one really thinks ab it until they say that the villains name is m/n l/n. y/n gets a text from her dad saying she has to see the news (NOW) and when she gets to the dorm... what happens??

Did I just write for 18 students?

Yes.

Do I regret it?

No.

class 1a reacting to finding out that reader's mom is a villain

M/N- mother's name

L/N-(your) last name

Y/N- Your name

Like every other day you went out to jog for a while. Every other of your classmates stayed at the dominatory and did their thing...

Untill news popped up most of them looked at it and noticed how familiar the villain looked...

The one to speak up about it was Sero "Hey... Doesn't she look a little like Y/N?" some people agreed some didn't care and few thought it was just a coincidence.

That is untill the identity of the villain wasn't revealed... M/N L/N.

It all happened when you were heading back but your jog changed into run when you saw the news.

When you got back you saw that everyone was watching the news and also everyone noticed that you entered.

You couldn't take it and ran to your dorm locking the door.

Almost everyone became worried but only one person could go and talk to you...

Eijiro Kirishima

He was shocked at the news and he knew you probably felt horrible and thought that everyone hated you now.

It was up to him to help you! You two were close friends and he just couldn't stand thinking of how you must feel right now.

So before anyone could even protest Kirishima was in front of your doors and started knocking and calling your name "Y/N open the door please! I just want to talk! I'm really worried about you!"

And after few minutes of your inside debate whether you should do it or not you let him in. Before that you tried to hide the fact that you were crying of course but it didn't work.

The two of you sat down on your bed and he spread his arms inviting you for a hug. Wich you gladly accepted.

"You know Y/N that I wouldn't stop being friends with you only becouse your mom is a villain. If anyone else has a problem with it I will defend you!"

Then he tried to cheer you up by making you laugh. If it whouldn't work and you are ticklish... You probably know already where this is going.

Tsuyu Asui

She felt heartbroken to see her friend run away from the group like this. And she knew that you needed someone to talk this out with so she was probably the best person who could help you at this point.

She calmly approached your room and knocked gently "Y/N can we talk please kiro?". You didn't knew what you should do and your body moved on your own as you let her inside.

You two had very honest and long conversation. She understood you well and did whatever it took to bring back your smile. If you needed it she gave you a hug.

"You know that if someone really thought of you less just because your family member was a villain I think they aren't worth bothering kiro"

Fumikage Tokoyami

When you ran towards your room he saw your expression and he knew immediately how you felt... Like an outcast and someone who doesn't belong.

He went to talk to you but before he knocked he thought what he wanted to say first.

At first you didn't wanted to let him in wich he didn't blame you for. However he informed you that he was going to wait until you were ready to let him in.

After some time you got yourself together but you were a bit surprised to see him actually waiting when you opened the door.

You told him few stuff about your mother and how you wished nobody knew. He listened to your words carefully and tried to help.

"It's a bit pointless to worry about what others think. From what I have seen everyone only worries about you so you don't need to think they like you any less after seeing what happened"

Minorou Mineta

He knew he'd probably make things just worse since he isn't too good with words but you are someone he wants to consider a friend and there is no way he'd let you feel this bad.

Many people protested against him going but he really wanted to so while everyone talked about it he sneaked past them and was in front of you doors.

He begged you to let him inside and it really took long before you agreed.

Too bad he didn't think it through- he wanted to help you but he didn't know how so he asked how you felt about this all and you just started at him raising your eyebrow thanks to wich he realized how dumb his question was.

"Look Y/N I'm not best at this stuff but I know for sure that everyone is here for you. I think you are really cool and your mom being a villain doesn't change anything!"

He really tried to cheer you up in his own way but it was nice of him to try. In the end you didn't felt as shitty.

Denki Kaminari

You two were close friends and it was his main motive to go. So he convinced others to let him help you.

There was a great start really you argued over the door and he tried to explain everything to you that everything is going to be fine in the end.

You didn't believe it and so he continued.

"Man you are way too stubborn! We just want to help you. I get it it's hard for you but please let's just talk! I'm sure you won't regret it!"

You didn't respond to him and he began to lose hope so he decided to just let the feelings out "You know you are brave right? I mean I whould be scared to pick a dream that whould put me against my family. I always admired your determination and now I see how hard things really are for you. I might not understand exactly how it is and I probably never will but just let me show you that things will get better!"

After another seconds of your silence he sighed and gave up. As he was walking away you opened the door wich caused him to turn around. He saw your slight smile and he returned it with a big one.

Yuga Aoyama

The second he saw your expression his usual smile disappeared from his face.

Before you know it he was asking you to let him in. He was worried about you and it was no secret.

He managed to get you to come out and as soon as you did he gave you a hug.

"You are a star Y/N and nothing will stop you from shining"

He listened to everything you had to say and he tried to understand how you feel.

Tenya Iida

He thought it was quite selfish of him but he really wanted to be the one to help you.

So he begged the rest of the class to let him and they agreed thankfully.

He was really serious as he approached your doors and knocked "Y/N will you please let me inside?" you didn't wanted to see anyone at the moment and told him to go away "I understand... But you can't just shut yourself in" he was really worried.

After shorter debate you decide to give in and he was happy but his face still showed very serious expression.

Since you two are good friends you decided to tell him your story and how you hoped to avoid this situation.

He listened to each word you said and paid his full attention to you. And he gave a proper response to why you shouldn't worry about things you are anxious about.

Afterwards he suggested that you should go and explain everything to the rest but he understood if you said no.

Momo Yaoyorozu

When Momo politely asked if she could cheer you up as she explained how worried she was there was no bigger protest.

She gently knocked and asked if she could come in. If you didn't agree she whould try to convince you.

And after you let her inside she saw that you were crying so she used her quirk to create a tissue for you.

The two of you had really emotional conversation and Momo thought how horrible things are for you right now making her tear up as well.

"You are so strong" she said after hearing your whole story "You went through so much and yet you are here" she gave you a hug and let out even more words of appreciation.

Mezo Shoji

Of course he was worried. Everyone was. But Shoji was the one who probably wanted to help you the most.

So after he managed to get others approval he got quickly in front of your room but before knocking he tried to listen what was going on in your room.

When he heard sobbing he asked if you were okay from the other side of the doors and you told him to leave you alone.

But if you think that he whould give up you were wrong. He told you that he was going to wait there until you will feel like you need help. Wich was pretty long but he could wait.

When you decided that you really needed someone you opened the door and he was super glad that you admitted that you wanted and needed help.

He noticed how stressed you looked so he offered you a hug wich you gladly took.

His hugs were allways the best and very comforting. In his embrace you felt safe though it was kind of akward but you didn't care.

When you calmed down you two talked this out and it really helped you.

Masahiro Oijiro

While he did think he wasn't going to help much you still were really close friends and maybe you whould listen to him.

So that's why he was now trying to convince you to get out. You didn't wanted to so he didn't force you to.

He told you that if you needed someone to talk to about this matter he's there for you. So you could call him to come or go to his dorm or just send a text any form of communication was fine by him.

So he left and waited for you to say something. He was really worried but you probably rather gathering your thoughts first and he didn't mind it at all.

So when you finally decided to talk to him he was beyond relieved. First he asked of course if you were okay etc. Then he provided you with moral support.

Mina Ashido

When she saw you running away from the rest and others started the debate she was lowkey annoyed and said that she's going to go to you now.

She tried to catch up with you but your doors were alredy locked. She begged you to open it and let her in but you weren't listening.

So she started saying things like "I'll destroy it with my acid and let myself in then" but you knew she wasn't going to-

She got inside.

Your doors were destroyed "Sorry I'll fix them I promise but I really worry about you and hell like I'll leave you alone in situation like this" she said as she hugged you.

You were a bit stubborn but Mina was your close friend so you opened up about this situation.

She couldn't belive that things were even worse than she thought "I know it's now very bad that your mom is a villain but she doesn't defy who you are! You are your own person and if anyone thinks otherwise they are an idiot who shouldn't be even able to speak!"

Afterwards she tried to spend as much time with you as she could trying to help you get your mind off it.

Hanta Sero

He was really confused by this situation not gonna lie. Even though he felt like the villain looked similar and was the one to bring it up he still doesn't believe it's your mom.

The two of you were pretty close so it kinda hurt him that you didn't trust him enough to say it but he understood it too.

But now what he felt wasn't important! You were suffering and someone needed to cheer you up!

And that someone had to be him so he just went when he saw a chance.

He knocked and before he said anything you told him to leave you alone wich made him think how he was going to help you.

So he just sighed knowing how stubborn you sometimes can be but he still tried to trick you into letting him in.

He succeeded and he tried to cheer you up mostly by getting your mind off the topic.

Toru Hagakure

She actually ran after you and nobody noticed. So when you heard her voice when you were almost there you ran faster and shut your door almost instantly.

She pouted at the fact "Y/N! Don't lock yourself! We're all here to help you!"

She was pretty sad that you didn't wanted to receive any help but few seconds later you decided to let her inside and she hugged you immediately after seeing your face.

You told her your story and she listened to it closely. Her advices were actually pretty good.

Todoroki Shoto

He knew exactly how you felt... At lest if his assumption was right that you just didn't wanted to have anything to do with M/N.

So he managed to convince others before he went to you since he wanted to talk alone.

When he was there and knocked you immediately told him to go away.

"I can't do that. I won't let you feel like you are alone in this. I know how it is to have a relative that you don't want anyone to know you are related to"

In your head you were stubborn to not let him inside but your body moved on its own and so you opened the door.

You two talked for a while and he understood you a bit too well. So based on his experience he tried to give you an advice even though he didn't knew how to put it in words.

Kyoka Jiro

She was very stubborn to go so she just went there and if anyone tried to stop her... Well it was obvious what she did.

When you didn't wanted to let her in your room she started playing some calm music quietly. She hoped it could help you but it just reminded you that she was very much still there waiting for you.

It was obvious that she was worried. I mean you two are best friends so it's pretty obvious that she whould wait.

When you finally let her inside you didn't expect her to scold you "What are you doing Y/N? Everyone worries about you and you just shut yourself in?"

She understood why whould you did that but it doesn't mean that she approves it.

Then she apologized for scolding you but she really was worried. So you explained it to her.

She told you that if you ever felt bad because of your mother (whether it is out of worry or hate) she's there for you.

Ochako Uraraka

While she might not be someone to give you a smart advice she definitely can lift your spirits up.

However once she was actually getting near your room she felt really nervous and all her ideas just washed away.

But it didn't matter! You were her friend and on this matter it's better to speak about how you feel... Right?

Either way it was what she did. Even though you didn't let her in you had that conversation and it actually felt like she was next to you.

Izuku Midoriya

You never said anything about your family... Now he knows why.

I mean sure there are many reasons but the fact that your mom is a villain is probably the big thing.

He didn't feel anyhow betrayed that you lied since it was understandable. After all it wasn't something anyone whould admit probably.

He didn't even realize that people were trying to think of who should go and he just went there himself as he thought of a way to cheer you up.

Izuku pretty much knew that it wasn't going to be easy and that you probably whouldn't let him in quickly either but he didn't give up.

Trying to reason with you he tried to get you to at least tell him what you are worried about.

Since he didn't wanted to assume what's your problem and he managed to get you to talk. Afterwards you had calm conversation about your worries but he still was outside while you were locked inside your room.

Bakugo Katsuki

He didn't take no as an answer and went to you right away. There was no time to waste and he sure won't lose it.

When you didn't wanted to let him in he yelled that he will blow up the door if you won't do so and fired one explosion as a warning.

You were annoyed by this but you knew that he whould pretty much destroy your doors without hesitation so you just let him inside.

"Dammit Y/N get yourself together instead of making a fool out of yourself. It is hard for you I know but you need to fight it instead of running"

You never thought that his scolding whould have any sense but you let him continue.

You were his friend and heck like he whould let you feel shitty about something you have no control over.

~Mod Tsuyu

#bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku #kirishima eijirou #tsuyu asui #kaminari denki #fumikage tokoyami #Minoru Mineta #yuga aoyama #iida tenya #momo yaoyozoru #shoji mezo #Masahiro Oijiro #Mina Ashido #hanta sero #tooru hagakure #todoroki shouto #kyoka jiro #ochako uraraka

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expshared · 5 years ago

Text

this season was kind of whack, but at least we had Eizouken

Heya Camp is just kind of a lazy reminder that Yuru Camp exists, and will continue to exist in the future. You remember these characters?? OK good, just making sure. That said, did I immediately feel the tension release in my entire body when I heard the OST? Duh. Did I sing “it’s coffee time” to the ending not knowing these were the incorrect lyrics? The entire time.

I don’t know what to do with Isekai Quartet because like, objectively, I should hate it. I do not enjoy like 2.5 of the shows involved, and the addition of Shield Hero was not a welcome one. Turns out it doesn’t matter anyway because it was just Isekai Quartet and also Naofumi is Sometimes Scowling in the Background and that’s about as much of him as I want to see anyway. And yet? I do enjoy this Disney Channel Original Crossover. There’s something inherently fun about watching these characters from disparate shows interact with each other, and no matter what the original stakes were in their respective series, they’re all just doing homework and getting part time jobs and that shit’s funny when a big skeleton man is doing it.

After its first episode, Asteroid in Love was kind of a slog. This is your typical seasonal CGDGT show, and apart from that, I really can’t think of anything to say about it. I didn’t learn anything about the Extremely Niche Topic these girls are doing, and it wasn’t even that gay. Disappointing.

I was really looking forward to Toilet Bound Hanako-kun because I am a big fan of the source material, but I was pretty let down by this adaptation. It seems that they prioritized the art style and the color scheme above everything else, but that essentially just meant the entire project ended up being colored manga panels. I wanted to see them move around! There was not a single moment of animation that justified it being an anime. You might as well have been watching a PowerPoint. I can’t think of anything nice to say. Let’s move on.

Bofuri is my power fantasy. I want to play a video game so cluelessly I break it into tiny pieces and bumble into being the most powerful player in the world’s nicest MMORPG. Maple turns powercreep into powersprint. What Bofuri lacks in character development or plot, it makes up for in outrageous Maple feats. She holds the entire world in the palm of her hand and she doesn’t even know it. She named her OP pet turtle Syrup and then turned into an alien abomination unknown to the world and went on a killing rampage. This anime was Maple Crossing Online. Love you, Maple. Wreck shit, Maple.

If My Favorite Idol Got Into Budokan, I Would Die walks a thin line and what separates it from being a slobbering idol otaku engine preaching how Cool it is to Be an Otaku and an Idol Show Watamote is the fact that Eripiyo is a girl. That’s it. If you took her and replaced her with your average Joe Schmoe-san, this show would be insufferably creepy. Every time I was waiting for it to topple over, Jenga-like, it managed to right itself and straddle the tightrope. It’s not a particularly subtle piece of media, nor does it do what I was hoping it would do and engage in any sort of conversation about the obsessive nature of idol otakudom, but you know what it does a good job of doing? Portraying being an idol as a job. Just some adults putting on underground shows and selling the same CD of like two songs over and over again. I was also hoping it would address what happened to Eripiyo, maybe talk about why at the beginning she’s dressed like an office worker and apparently gives that all up to follow this kinda-shitty idol group, why this fanatic escapism is preferable, or even maybe address how gay it is? Not in the cards, though. Honestly Budokan was, despite itself, pretty enjoyable? There are some great background lesbians. Also can we talk about how consistently good the production values were on this show? Why did this have such great dance sequences? Why did this look better than Love “Has More Money Than God” Live? Actually no I take everything back this show was kind of just Idol Otaku Watamote

Hey, let’s talk about the other idol show airing this season: the completely unhinged 22/7. This show is Whack. This show operates on an entire different plane of reality. I know nothing about the actual band, so I came into this blind and oh my god. Hey guys, the plot of 22/7 is that a Wall tells some girls to form an idol unit. A sentient Wall whose orders absolutely must be followed. Why? Dunno! What happens if you don’t follow its orders? Never elaborated on. (Actually, is this a reference to Pink Floyd? I have no fucking clue.) In any case these eight girls, summoned by a letter from the Wall, are all invited to become an idol group, and then they’re magically an idol group. It’s unclear how they become successful, how they book gigs, who’s keeping the lights on at the agency, how they’re getting paid, who HR is, how their gorilla man agent found this Wall and determined that all its directives Must Be Followed, but shit, man. What follows in 22/7 is a one-member-per-episode serial that quite frankly stumbles far more often than it succeeds. One girl’s grandma died and that’s why she came to Japan. One girl had a traumatizing experience where she got lost in the woods for a week and it broke her family apart and now things just suck forever. These things are equal. One poor girl’s entire episode was about how she didn’t want to put on a bathing suit for a photo shoot and how uncomfortable she felt about it, but in the end she was made to apologize for dragging her feet for so long and takes her photo for a pin up. Yuck. Gross. Bad. The only valid girl is Jun, end of discussion. None of this even holds a candle to the finale-- wherein the girls are directed by the Wall to disband, and, defying an order for the first time, the girls return to their agency and throw shit at the Wall until it breaks down. It’s revealed that the Wall isn’t supernatural-- behind it are tv monitors, photos of the girls as children, records of their activities. A person or people are behind this. Why??? Are they being groomed?? Is the Wall a metaphor for the Industry? I’m so concerned. The girls aren’t, though, because after a little side eyeing, they ascend a staircase and wow! A Stage! Our fans are all here for our reunion tour! And then they’re fine and I guess their idol group is back together or something? Did I mention the stage where they perform? It’s at a zoo. I can’t tell if this is the most scathing condemnation of idol culture I’ve ever watched or just completely oblivious. The characters don’t engage in any sort of thought about what they’re being put through, but they are performing their final song, the lyrics of which are about how life is just too hard to keep on living, at a zoo and I don’t think you can have that sort of thing happen unless you’re trying to make a point. Right??? RIGHT?!? Dance and sing, monkeys.

Smile Down the Runway was another show completely divorced from reality. So you got your main character, Chiyuki, whose thing is that she’s Too Short to Be a Model at her father’s very prestigious modeling agency. Which, like, is valid! Let’s see some variation in the modeling industry. Let’s shake it up. Let’s lead the charge for alternative models with bodies outside of the very narrow requirements of the fashion industry. What’s that, Chiyuki? You have no interest in that? You want to be a Hypermodel? I don’t know what that shit is, I think you made it up. Our other protagonist is Ikuto, the destitute, put upon, bobcut boy with a dying mother and 3 younger siblings who is trying to pursue his dream of becoming a fashion designer. Are you beginning to sense the problem here? There is a fundamental imbalance in the presentation of these characters’ goals and situations. Also? Emotions are at an eleven, always. Characters are always acting as if they’ve just seen someone get murdered in front of their eyes even when it’s like. There’s a messed up seam. They are constantly being mortified, crushed, and having their dreams ripped away. One time, two different assholes offered Ikuto magical mom-fixing blood money when he was struggling to come up with funds to pay off his medical debt at the cost of giving up his spot in the fashion show. Wildin’

Haikyuu didn’t exactly come in like a lion, but I’m sure it’ll be more organic upon rewatching. We were laying the groundwork for much of this season so I’m expecting it to payoff later, but the beginning definitely lagged. Every time Haikyuu hints at a women’s volleyball tournament, I want a volleyball anime with girls. Man, those ten minutes we got with Kiyoko? Those were great.

I don’t have too much to say about Somali and Forest Spirit. Abe’s “Make Children” agenda feels at least a little more like a narrative choice in this anime, and I enjoyed Somali and the Golem’s relationship and their travels were in equal turns harrowing and heartwarming. And I did tear up at the end so you got me there, anime.

In/Spectre has some balls being an anime. It’s existed as a light novel and a manga and those are both superior mediums for it because let’s put all our cards on the table here-- In/Spectre is a show about talking. Five whole entire episodes take place in a car. The finale is winning an argument in an anonymous 4chan chatroom. That said, I have such a fondness for In/Spectre. I think Kotoko rocks. I think a show willing to do nothing but talk at you for two hours is badass. Sitting through this anime is like watching a podcast. I think the show engages in some great dialogue about human nature and how we prefer stories that are theatrical, narratively-driven, and have a logical cause-and-effect, instead of the truth, which is more often than not grim, and disappointing, and illogical. I like that Kotoko’s only function, in-story and out of it, is to bullshit so hard she invents alternate realities. Anyway In/Spectre is good.

There’s no praise I can lavish on Eizouken that hasn’t already been said. It’s powerful, it’s strange, it’s energetic, and it’s packaged with such love. It’s repurposed the CGDCT template into something deeply affecting. It’s an anime for people who love animation. I hope everyone watches Eizouken.

#animoose and mango #chitchat paddywhack #long post /

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fluidityandgiggles · 6 years ago

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Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 6

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I started writing this chapter while writing chapter five and I was expecting to have fun with it, and I did, and it has a new OC in it. One that I’ve been talking about through this entire fic basically. One I’m terribly in love with and would start a fire for. So... I’m sorry if it seems like you have to keep up with all those OCs, but it really isn’t. It’s mostly just India, and this gal in this here chapter.

I apologize in advance. (Also Remy’s dad’s phone number starts with 212, which if anyone didn’t know is the Manhattan area code. Just pointing that out.)

As usual, thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original thirty second long recording of them rambling about this idea, to @whatwashernameagain for Keep Him Safe and just for being pure and sweet as she is, and for @anony-phangirl , @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for dealing with my insanity and random bouts of ideas.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222 , @ab-artist , @secretlyanxiouspersona , @your-username-is-unavailable , @virgilcrofters , @why-things-go-boom , @ilovemygaydad , @violetblossem

(If you want to be tagged or removed, please let me know! Preferably via notes/reblogs, I have bad memory, but… you do you.)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter also discusses forms of child abuse and drug use.

—————

Emile was sent to the hospital the moment they explained the situation to the doctor on campus and was released from the ER a couple of days later. It was the very day Remy made the worst decision of his life. He missed some classes, Remy was glad to fill him up on those, and his mother had to fly in from Minnesota to look after him for the time he was there.

(Nathalie Picani was an incredibly nice woman, Remy decided within five seconds of meeting her. And he was yet to be proven wrong.)

But on the day Emile was released, Remy finally did it. He did the one thing he said he'd never do.

On that one fateful night in early November, Remy Harris agreed to babysit for Linda and Stephen Hollander. The victim? Remy. And also Leah.

"Would you please tell me who Leah is?" India asked him after a group meeting.

"Linda's daughter." Remy couldn't stop shaking. "She's six. Almost seven. And I don't want to babysit her."

"You're making a much bigger deal out of this than it really is and it's driving you crazy. It's a six year old. What's the worst that could possibly happen?"

But then, a couple hours later, Linda dropped the demon child off at Weld Hall - Remy wasn't a fan of her knowing where he stayed, thank you very much - and left. Well, then.

"You don't look like a Rebecca," the demon child muttered when she first saw Remy. And he was thankful. Both for the child having the sense to not imagine him as a Rebecca, and for the fact that it was nearing winter and he could start wearing baggier clothes, meaning he didn't have to bind.

(His back and boobs were going to thank him for it for the next six months, give or take.)

"Because it's not my name. My name is Remy, and Linda is just a bitch."

"A bitch is like my auntie when she doesn't listen to Mom, right…?"

What?!

"Auntie Steph wants to take me to see Lion King in New York on Christmas and Mom thinks that she shouldn't because I don't deserve to so she called her a bitch. Is that what you mean?" Less than a second later, "I dreamed last night that I was in a bouncy castle, and there was a clown, and I really don't like clowns, I think they're scary…"

She avoided eye contact. Much like two other figures in Remy's life. He didn't want to make wrong assumptions, but the thought was there.

"I saw a movie about real-real lions and you know that Simba is Nala's brother? Boy lions are really lazy, they don't hunt for themselves, the girl lions do it for them. Did you know that hyenas don't like boys? Like, at all? They have a really weird—"

"Look, kid, I'm sure all that is very interesting, but why do you know all this shit about hyenas?"

"My name is Leah Mae Hollander and I'm not a kid, I'm seven!"

"You'll be seven in two weeks."

"Girl hyenas have pen—"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna let you finish that! Let's do something other than talking."

He failed to notice her expression change when he said that.

——

Remy didn't have the heart to tell Leah that he already knew who George Michael is and that Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go was the song his dad used to wake him up all the time, which is why he doesn't like it, when a tiny gray bunny followed Katherine into the suite.

She swore she didn't steal him. And for once, he actually believed her.

"But it's a song about oh oh oh Remy that's a bunny I wanna cuddle the bunny can I please please cuddle the bunny?" He couldn't even answer before she dashed from the couch and grabbed the bunny a little too harshly. "Fluffy bunbun! You're so cute, little bunny!"

"Leah, someone needs this bunny right now. Would you mind putting him down so we could take him back?"

The look she gave him could kill a man.

"I found him. He's mine now."

"No, his name is Mycroft and he belongs to a very good friend of mine who is sick and needs him back." She tried using puppy eyes. Well… "You can come with me. But I'm taking the bunny back."

"Okay!"

Leah bounced all the way down the hall, and insisted on knocking on the door herself. It took several tries before Emile opened the door, still looking incredibly pale.

"I'm actually surprised you're doing this well," the nurse said while changing Emile's IV. "The lab suspected GHB, and—"

"Let's celebrate the small miracles instead of constantly pointing out facts that my son would rather forget."

"I can't hang out right now," Emile sighed. He sounded incredibly tired, almost… as if he's been crying. "I need to study for—"

"You, my good bitch, need to study for nothing. Get back in bed and I'll make you more tea."

"I'm not actually sick…"

"No, but it will help calm you down. And your mom would hate me if I didn't."

"Hello, I'm Leah!" Oh yeah. The demon child was here too. Emile looked down at her, forcing a smile. "I'm seven."

"You're not seven."

"Not yet but almost."

"Remy, please, she's clearly seven!" Leah's smile grew at that. "I'm Emile, I'm sixteen. Thank you so much for returning my bunny, Leah!"

"He's my bunny now."

For a second, Remy thought Emile was trying to imitate him. He never saw his adorable blond friend be evil... "How about he'll be ours, together?"

"...fine."

Leah bolted into the suite after the bunny, who was placed on the ground and started hopping towards his food. She was an interesting kid. A demon child, but still interesting.

Remy didn't know if he liked her or not.

"Thanks for coming to check on me, but I'm okay. You don't have to do anything. I'll be fine." Emile kissed Remy's cheek as he entered after Leah… and then didn't immediately leave. There was no way he was going to. "Remy, please!"

"No! You were—"

"I know what I was. I kept being reminded of what I was when I was in the hospital. Please stop reminding me."

"I was in the hospital two months ago," Leah started rambling again and broke whatever tension was between the boys. "Mom took Rachel to the park and I wanted to go too, because the park has the slides and the swings and there's a red slide that has rollers on it and it's funner because of the rollers and I really like it but every time I go there someone is already on it and nobody lets me slide on it so I really wanted to, so I took my rollerblades and I was on my way and then I tripped and it was very close to my home and it all hurt so our neighbor Matilda called Dad and when we went to the hospital he told me that I'm stupid and shouldn't do that ever again and when I tried to tell him that it was because I wanted to slide he called me stupid again and said the fuck word."

"And what happened then?" Emile asked softly, finally going to sit down and allowing Remy to make him tea. Well, sorta.

"I broke my arm. And it was very cool! I had a cast and everything, and nobody signed it, not even Mom or Dad, so I signed it for myself. And I did whatever I wanted!"

"What did you sign then?"

"It was a story about a group of princesses who went to fight a knight who was trying to kill their dragon friend."

Something didn't seem right to Remy. Other than absolutely not understanding a single word she said (that was a bit of an exaggeration, yes), something about the story didn't… make sense. And earlier when he cut her off, she looked incredibly offended.

Yeah… nothing matched up.

"Wait… Leah, let's work it through, okay?" She hummed in agreement. Remy was looking for mugs in the suite kitchenette. "You broke your arm rollerblading?"

"Yeah, I said that—"

"And Stephen called you stupid for breaking your arm rollerblading?"

"Yeah! I told you that!"

"And what did Linda say?"

"She said that I'm a stupid child for thinking I can rollerblade. But I can! I learned how to last year, and I'm practicing, and the park isn't that far, so I can!"

"Are you trying to analyze your sister?" Emile looked overly worried. "The tea bags are in that wooden box on the toaster oven."

"I'm not trying to analyze anything, but… something is weird." There were about ten different types of tea in there. Oh dear. Chamomile…? Emile likes chamomile, right?

"I saw Monsters, Inc. last week," Leah said out of the blue. "I saw it on my birthday and I stayed until the very-very end, and Mike Wazowski actually did a musical called put that thing back where it came from or so help me! And there's a song that's like, there's a child there's a child there's a human child, running ‘round the restaurant, this is really wild, what in heaven's name will become of us, we who are living in Monstropolis?"

"You saw that last week?" Emile sounded happy. "Remy, please no chamomile. It makes my stomach feel worse. Peppermint, please?"

"Alright."

"You saw Monsters, Inc.?"

"Yeah! I like Mike. He's fun."

Linda said that Leah was disruptive, annoying, a monster of a child. So far she… certainly talked a lot, but she wasn't disruptive, or annoying (well, maybe a little), and she didn't seem stupid at all. On their way over here she kept pointing at the suite numbers (not that many, but apparently she loved it) and asking Remy to read them to her, after which she'd declare whether or not they were multiples of three. And she couldn't stop talking about animals, some of which Remy didn't even know existed - she kept talking about betta fish for some reason, whatever those fish were, and how people killed their fish by putting more than one in the fish tank or putting cold water instead of warm (he was starting to think she just really liked betta fish). And those things meant she was… the opposite of stupid. No?

He was being redundant in his own head, it wasn't nice.

"Leah, I don't think you're stupid." Leah made a squeaky noise in response. "Linda and Stephen make no sense."

"But I can't do anything right…"

"Says who?"

"Remy Harris, you came here to make yourself useful, now where's my tea?" Emile laughed.

Once the tea was made, they sat down and watched Monsters, Inc. as per Leah's request.

Things were going to be okay today.

——

"How was babysitting the little rascal?"

"Dad… don't call her that."

"Changed your mind?"

"I don't know… I don't remember Linda berating me as much as she does Leah, and it sucks. I almost want to call social services and I only met that girl today!"

"Remy, kiddo, calm down. You'll get to see her again for thanksgiving and get a better picture of what's going on—"

"But I don't want to see them for thanksgiving and I'm worried for Leah! She's learning to play the piano, she can calculate stuff really quickly for a six year old, she remembers things with scary accuracy, it's almost inhuman… and she was called names by Linda and her husband for breaking her arm rollerblading. That's not—"

"How's Emile? Last time I called you said he was in the hospital."

"Yeah… he had a blood test. They found traces of GHB. He doesn't want to talk about it though."

"I know you probably don't want to hear this—"

"Don't tell me if I don't want to know about this…"

"When you were three, your mom used to go out a lot. She loved clubbing."

"She went out a lot my whole childhood, Dad. It's not news. She never really grew up since the eighties."

"She was seventeen when she had you, you can be a little bit—"

"Which means she's thirty-five, in a good enough position to raise children, and she chooses to call her daughter names for not fulfilling her expectations. Huh, kind of like how she treats me, isn't it?"

"...you'll be the death of me, child."

"I know. I'm already working on it. You can't see me but I'm winking at you."

"Remy, please don't make this harder than it is. Do you think I want her to want contact with you?"

"No, I don't. I don't want her to either. But it's not like I have any choice. You're making me do this!"

"You're being a brat."

"Thank you so much, I totally needed to hear that."

Remy hung up. Something was… not quite right. He just had to—

Incoming Call: 212-729-5555

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"You said you didn't want to babysit Linda's kids, and now you're protecting her child like your life depends on it. Do you want to listen to what I have to say or not?"

"...sure. Whatever."

"When you were six, I had to leave you with your grandparents one night because your mom didn't come home from one of her parties. She almost died that night."

"And that has to do with what exactly?"

"That has to do with you being super worried about Emile. He's alive, isn't he? And he's doing alright. All you can do now is be there to support him."

"Well… yeah, you're right. I hate it when you're right."

"Now, about Leah. I know you don't trust your mom, I know you can't stand her, but it's no reason to call social services."

"Okay, I call her Linda to distance myself from her. She's not my mom. And the way Leah says she treats her is horrendous, and I would say it's abusive but I don't know the severity of it yet. So will you please just…"

"I think you need to take a day off, think about it, and we'll talk tomorrow."

"...fine. Good night, Dad. I'm going to go to sleep."

"Good. Good night, son. Sleep tight."

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: mentions of child abuse #tw: mentions of drug use

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relaxandlaughatyourself · 6 years ago

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Recap of Ika’s IG Live September 16, 2018.

Ika did two lives totaling two hours; Dem joined a little ways into the first one. They were both extremely happy, laughing and touching the whole time. Ika had to keep reminding Dem during the first live that we could see him touching her, and he must have kissed her shoulder 50 times. They also both just look really good; Dem’s abs…

She’s supposed to be cleaning her kitchen and Dem is sleeping.

She took Dem’s shaver and shaved off her edges about three weeks ago. She doesn’t recommend but they grew back in a couple weeks. She used the castor oil and such on them. That’s why she has been wearing wigs because she couldn’t wear clips ins. She thinks she looks better without wigs, they don’t look as natural to her, she doesn’t think she looks as pretty. She has been feeling miserable when wearing them because she was feeling forced to wear them. She is happy with her edges now.

She does still have permed pieces on her hair and she has cut some more off, so it’s shorter, up to like her chin. She plans on cutting it off each time, she can’t shave her head. She didn’t tell Dem she was going to cut her hair, he would’ve told her not to do it. She came home from Edmonton and just chopped it off. She hasn’t been able to find a good hair stylist since hers moved.

She’s not doing any meet and greets.

She went to a L’Oréal event and she got a bunch of lipsticks. She’ll give it away to someone, she’ll ship it to you.

She went to the YSL party and got lipstick there too, and Dem won her this other lipstick she likes a lot.

She’s been taking the natural approach to her look, she’s been wearing lip gloss rather than lip stick.

She mentions some hair products she just bought but hasn’t tried yet.

She doesn’t work out, she tries but it lasts for two days. Her body is catching up to her, the curves aren’t as firm as they used to be. She doesn’t want to do it. So many fitness brands have reached out to her, especially weight loss ones, but she can’t take it. She says she’s drinking too much, they got a bottle of wine yesterday and just drank the bottle themselves, they were supposed to go out but they just stayed in and drank their wine.

Dem is up, and she made him put on pants “he can’t be exposing my things.”

Ika says her stomach is getting too big, she can see it in certain dresses especially, Dem says she’s crazy.

Dem is making bacon. Ika says since he got there the place has been a mess, says it’s his fault.

Dem says he has tried to take her to the gym, but she says he’s in the habit and has been going for ever. Ika doesn’t like doing the gym with Dem because he wants her to put in 100 percent but she’s not going to give that much effort to the gym.

Dem ate all the chicken nuggets. Ika says candy doesn’t count as bad food, but Dem says sugar isn’t good for you. Dem does say she has nothing to worry about regarding how she looks.

Ika: “Baby, they can see you touching me.” “They can see you grabbing my butt.”

Someone asks for a YouTube video about miracle 10 and her routine. She says she can do a video about her morning routine, or do a live.

Ika says she’s minimizing (Dem: “With what?!”), she wants to start cutting down on the number of products she has. Just have the essentials. She wants to throw everything away and buy just what she needs.

Ika says she was going to make Dem breakfast but if she talked loud enough she knew he would wake up.

Dem keeps rubbing her lower back and is acting playful with her. Every now and then she tickles him and he squeezes her pig tails.

Ika talks about how she can’t find a foundation that matches her skin, she has so many and has to get two to mix them. Ika says Dem is standing in a corner laughing at her, Dem says he’s watching her live just like everyone else.

She has to wear makeup for pics and stuff but she likes how she looks without makeup, she thinks makeup makes her look older.

Someone asks if Dem likes her with or without makeup. Ika says he never tells her to or not to wear makeup or wear her hair a certain way, he’s not that kind of guy/boyfriend.

Ika says she wants to talk to us more as the live is ending. Dem tells her to do another one: “if they’re tired of you, they can hit the exit button and leave. I don’t have that option.” They start laughing. Ika says Dem thinks he’s so funny and ika just rolls her eyes.

They note that ika has never made Dem breakfast, but she does make him dinner and did last night.

The live runs out of time, so she starts a new one.

The movie they saw at TIFF was Private War, it was a true story and Dem liked it. The movie was intense, but Dem liked the whole environment, on a laptop it may not be as good. Popcorn is waiting for you, you get escorted to your seats, the stars are there, etc.

They start eating breakfast and note that they didn’t eat bacon before season 5. She says we need to accept how she eats. Ika says she wants her coffee sweeter so Dem outs more sugar in and stirs it for her, it’s cute.

Ika asks why some of us are single, from a place of love and introspection. Someone says they’re single because they hate commitment. Ika says when you find the right person, you don’t feel trapped. Ika says she feels free with Dem, they don’t feel trapped at all with each other. Someone says the right one has come along yet.

Someone says they don’t know where to find someone. Ika says she had to go on a reality tv show to find this one. Dem: “It took me three years to get on that just to find you. It’s been a journey, babe. It wasn’t easy.”

Ika rubs Dem’s chest and says his chest is so nice, his skin is so nice, his skin is thick, it’s nice quality, it’s durable.

Someone says they’ve been with their boyfriend for seven years and live in different countries, they need to decide if they move or end it. Ika says seven years is a long time to not know what you’re going to do. They need to know where it’s going to go. Ika says she wouldn’t have even given her and Dem’s relationship two years without a plan.

Someone asks for wig tutorials, and ika says others are better. But Dem says she is funnier and so much better to watch than those girls. He says he’s not perfect at workouts but he could give a tutorial, so she could do makeup and wig ones too. They’re always encouraging each other.

Ika says the chapstick challenge was so cringe. They argue about tangerine and orange. Dem says she’s lucky she’s pretty or he’d argue with her more, he’ll let it slide. But then they argue more. Ika: “I’m saying you were wrong, bunches. It’s honey bunches, guys. He wants to win.” Ika says she doesn’t try to win every argument, just those she knows she’s right about. Dem: “We tied. You’re just as big of a loser as I am.”

He keeps kissing her shoulder. At one point he goes to spank her with the spatula and she just laughs.

They talk about Gary and Dem says he’s a good cook, ika says he always said he was practicing for his husband. They note that Gary wants a $750k ring and Dem would joke about how he would need to win a ton of BBs. They say Gary is still humble and down to earth though as well as diva, but unpredictable; Dem says his diva ness is just funny, he doesn’t think he’s better than anyone. When Gary left the house, you could feel the difference in the house, you couldn’t with anyone else. Everything he said or did was funny.

They mention that they wish he could have stayed but they don’t know how it actually would have worked out. Dem says his alliance was his contour kit. Ika says on Dem’s first HOH, she walked into the room and Gary told her to go because he was talking to Dem. ika felt like a peasant as she was a have not too. Dem says he and Gary spent an hour talking about how you pick what to wear that day, it has to fit the mood and everything.

Ika says that she walked into the HOH room and Gary was perched on Dem’s HOH bed. He then kept bringing up the showmance thing, Gary can’t take a hint, in real life either. They reenact the “I’m lying, I’m lying.” Dem says he was so funny.

Ika says she was so thrown off by Cass because she couldn’t believe what a bad game she was playing, maybe because it was so close to her season. They says she was out in a bad situation. Ika’s dream alliance would’ve been Dem, Cass, Gary and then throw Karen in there later. They say Cass is the funniest person ever, she’s not Gary funny, but funny in a different way. Dem says Cass is the opposite of a catty girl. They also talk about how Karen always wanted Dem to take his shirt off, he’s been without a shirt the whole live and looks so good.

Ika says she had some fun times in the house and she does miss it. They had a good time.

Dem and Ika got invited to Cass’s wedding, they made the cut. Sounds like they’ll be there.

They talk about how others always say others say they look like other people, they don’t think they see any resemblance and they don’t like when they get compared. Dem: “No one looks like you. There’s no one as beautiful as you.” Someone says Dem looks like Adam Sandler but Dem doesn’t think Adam Sandler is a good looking guy.

Ika says she watched Swaggy’s YouTube video and he says that he hasn’t dated any black girls, but said that he dated a half black, half Asian girl but Bayleigh’s mom said that didn’t count as dating a black girl. Ika wants to know if she heard that right, because that’s her background, Dem heard that too. Dem: “That counts.” Ika says when she gets asked her background and she says she’s Jamaican, she doesn’t mean anything by it, and it’s not that she doesn’t own her African side. Ika notes that her half sister looks Asian, but she also identifies as black. She notes that in Canada, most people identify as their nationality when asked because everyone is from everywhere.

She notes that black twitter has been educating her.

Dem leaves to go take a shower.

Her pick to win B.B. is Tyler, she hopes he still pulls it out. She likes Kaycee, but thinks Tyler played a better game, but knows everyone is jumping in Kaycee’s bandwagon because they don’t like him. Feels as though Tyler has struggled more than the others, he’s had challenges, it hasn’t been easy for him. Hasn’t seen the last two episodes, wants the season to end.

Mentions she saw on twitter when Julie said her full name: “Girl…”

She runs out of time again, and says she’ll be back.

#ig live #demika pic #toronto sept 2018

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thatlazycrazylady · 3 years ago

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My Sims 4 Playthrough: Side Stories from The Snow Queens, Abe edition, Part 1

Sooo let me tell you about the Abes real quick. Their story isn’t quite as dramatic as the Sanchezes (whom I talked about in a previous post). Instead of intense family estate drama, theirs is more of a slice-of-life sort of situation, but still with enough family drama that kept me on my toes.

Let’s start with Colin and Harmony, because this couple is pretty much a package deal. So, they move into Henford-on-Bagley as a young married couple, building their way from the ground up. I initially moved them into 1 Cobblebottom Street, intending for Colin to make a living through farming and eventually buy a larger farmhouse because I wanted them to have a large-ish family. Alas, Colin was really struggling. This was before I created Lex Sanchez and before I realized I only needed to make a massive plantation of high-value crops to get up in life. Colin, instead, had a small farm with a little bit of everything. And chickens. And so Harmony pitched in and started creating paintings to sell. Eventually they were able to buy up 2 Olde Mill Lane and set up a small house through Harmony’s paintings. Which is a little funny because I kind-of wanted them to have a traditional working-husband-and-housewife arrangement, but it ended up with Harmony carrying most of the game.

At some point, I really badly needed to expand and furnish the house for their three daughters. So I made it so Lex Sanchez helped them out a little bit. (Which was perfect for the main storyline because I needed the Abes and the Sanchezes to become close, eventually.)

Anyway, here are their three daughters. (They will have a son, eventually, late in life)

This is Aki, the eldest. She was supposed to inherit the family farm but, as we will see later on, this didn’t quite work out.

This is Haruka, the Abes’ brilliant, geeky middle daughter who dreams of moving into the city.

This is Natsumi, their youngest, and the one who inherited Harmony’s knack for painting. She aspires to go to art school and become a famous artist. She’s the daughter I chose to be one of the main characters, but let me just say here, in advance, that this girl had a tough early life. Aside from the family events I will be talking about below, she went through a bad breakup, she was betrayed by her best friend, all of which contributed to her not doing too well in school. (Also because there were so many of them in the family that I couldn’t keep up with everyone’s needs at once XD)

And at this point, this was my ingame description of the family:

The townsfolk of Henford-on-Bagley have witnessed how the Abes have built their farm from the ground up. As Colin initially struggled to make ends meet, Harmony pitched in by selling their paintings. Now that they live comfortably, Colin envisions that the family farm will be home to his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It is a wonder, however, if that will ever happen, considering that two of his girls seem to have city dreams...

All things considered, they were a pretty happy family. I don’t really like playing big families (i.e. families larger than 3-4 people) because it’s so hard to keep up with everyone’s needs. So it was a bit of struggle to play them, to be honest. Though the struggles were kind-of consistent with my main storyline so I thought it was alright.

So to make the family a wee bit smaller, and also for character progression, Haruka moves to the suburbs (Evergreen Harbor), where I get her to live a pretty fun single life, meeting new people, learning to fabricate and moving up in the Green Technician career branch.

Aaand that’s where the trouble started.

So you know how with the Parenthood pack, sometimes your mom asks you to come visit? So I was like hey, sure, we’re a pretty close-knit family. Haruka can visit and since she’s working on her handiness skill, she can fix up things in the house. So she does this and I’m pretty pleased because the Abes are basically getting free upgrades because while their handiness skills are alright, Haruka is pretty much god-tier in this respect.

So I’m like, hey, Haruka can go ahead and do this every few days I guess? And so one day she needed to install a composting container for work and I’m like, hey, she can do that one for back home! (If you’re an Eco Lifestyle afficionado, you already know what’s going to go wrong here.)

And so I go ahead and let her do it WITHOUT READING THE DESCRIPTION FOR THE UPGRADE.

Tragedy starts when I continue this post in Part 2.

#the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #sim story

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sophygurl · 7 years ago

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WisCon 42 panel Exploring the Platonic

Panel description:

Many of us love a good romance, it's true, but what of the important platonic relationships in life? Does fiction often leave us wanting more close friendships, more familial dynamics, more intense connections that don't involve sex? Friendships can be just as intense, just as dramatic, and just as central to a person's character as their romantic or sexual relationships. Let's discuss the stories we love that explore these platonic connections well, squee about our favorite fictional friendships, and brainstorm some ways to get more platonic love in our fiction!

Moderator S. Brackett Robertson, with panelists Jess Adams, Gwynne Garfinkle, Ira Gladkova, and Gabriela Valentin

Reminder that these panel notes are only my own recollections and the things I managed to write down - my notes are incomplete and likely faulty in places. Corrections and additions are always welcome. Especially please do correct me if I get names or pronouns wrong!

Also I name panelists as that’s publicly available information but not audience members unless requested by that person to have their named added.

[Some notes - I was super excited about this one similarly to the Female Friendships one, and the Found Family one which I was sadly scheduled against and so missed. All three of these panels were super crowded and popular, which again tells me how important these kinds of topics are to people besides just me.

Also, I came in late, had some fusses over finding a seat for myself and my mom, and was still a bit shaken up from 1) the yuck of the Killable Bodies panel earlier in the day and 2) the excitement of the TLJ panel I’d been on just previous to this one which was just so amazing and 3) my physical fatigue at it being Sunday afternoon - so my handwriting is a bit shaky and even harder to understand than usual.]

Once I got into the panel and situated with my notes, the panelists were in full-swing discussing the prioritization or lack thereof for platonic relationships.

Jess talked about Parks and Rec and how the show doesn’t ask it’s characters to choose between romantic and platonic relationships. There are also realistic portrayals of groups of friends. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is another show that does this well.

Gwynne brought up Jane the Virgin, which has both a lot of romantic relationships, but also familial dynamics. Jane fought for her friendship with Petra, which was nice to see.

Gabriela said she shipped Jane and Petra, but also likes that it doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship in order to be important. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is another show about friendships. Black Lightning as an example about a family - all of the familial connections are given equal weight so the parents relationship with one another isn’t given more importance than the siblings or the parent/child ones.

S. talked about narratives about communities, found families, and polycules. When you leave a community, such as a work place or school environment, you find out which friendships are real or not.

Ira brought up Lilo and Stitch as family and found family - they collect humans and aliens as they go along.

Jess talked about Star Trek and issues around leadership, crew responsibilities, sharing a work and living community - balanced with friends and found family. Also the TV show Community.

Gabriela talked about season 4 of Buffy and how Xander and Giles both lost their roles within the group and had to re-sort out how they all functioned together.

Ira talked about unlearning the gaze that sexualizes people, especially women. The idea of friendship and not being the targets of one another’s gaze. This also involves untangling toxic masculinity, which makes it harder for men to have close emotional ties either with other men or women. Then also the subject of how many men equate vulnerability with romance and having to be like, no, that’s friendship - that’s how friendship works.

Jess talked about Foggy on Daredevil and how upset he was that Matt hadn’t shared his secret with him.

Gwynne talked about The Good Place and how Eleanor was so bad at people-ing while alive. Even with Chidi, when she experiences romantic love, there’s not a lot of sex involved. She sexualizes Tahani, but still doesn’t try to act on it. Then when Eleanor and Tahani both want Chidi - they both back off because they don’t want to fight over him.

Gabriela brought up the complexity of Buffy and friendships that also involved attraction. Xander was especially weird about this.

Jess went back to The Good Place and talked about how Eleanor was never taught how to connect emotionally with others - learns about friendship in TGP.

Ira discussed will they/won’t they scenarios. When shows let men be emotionally vulnerable with one another, it often tends towards queerbaiting instead of letting it just be a friendship.

S. talked about being on the ace spectrum and how some relationships don’t fit neatly into just friendship or just romance boxes - there can be ambiguity.

Ira talked about being more comfortable with ambiguity and liminility. Also about aspirational romances, like, do you want to be with them or do you want to be them?

Another issue can be identity struggles. If you’re not sure who you are, it’s hard to know how you relate to others. [Feeling this now]

Jess said that there is this narrative of either - sex and romance OR friendship and no sex. They never cross over. Narratives push things towards simplicity, but that’s not how real life works.

Gwynne talked about the “just” friends phrase and how she wrote a piece about a friendship breakup and got more comments on that than anything else. People related to it, and weren’t getting content like that. This devaluing of friendship when friendship can be so intense. There is a messiness and richness in friendship that just isn’t explored enough.

Gabriela said love is not a mathematical thing.

Ira gave an example of Ann Leckie’s Imperial Radch with shows a lot of ambiguity in relationships.

Ira also talked about wanting more friendships across hierarchies, and friendships between mothers.

Gwynne wants more messiness in friendships being portrayed. She mentioned The Closest Thing to Animals by Sofia Samatar. There are messy professional female relationships in that story.

Gabriela talked more about the female mentor relationships and also buddy adventure relationships. She mentioned Jenny Calendar and Walsh from Buffy and how both characters were taken away before they could really dig into the messiness of them.

Another example Gabriela talked about was Star Trek: Discovery - there are two women of color in a mentor/mentee relationship.

Jess talked about friendships that take place over a long period of time and how they’re basically married. She wasn’t sure if there was a name for that. I shouted out “platonic life partners” from the audience and another audience member added “or queer platonic.” [I call my own found family group my platonic poly tribe]

One example Jess used for this kind of relationship was Jessica Jones and Trish. These two balance one another out. Also Squirrel Girl’s Dorian and Nancy mesh so well together. Bruce and Thor in Thor: Ragnarok - adding Bruce needs more friends.

Ira brought up antagonism as a complicating factor for friendships. Friendly rivalries - wants to see more of those, especially when they make one another better through the rivalry.

S. asked about friendships that reject toxic masculinity and gave Sam and Frodo as an example.

Jess added Steve and Bucky, also Troy and Abed from Community and how Troy unlearns toxic masc. through his friendship with Abed.

Gabriela mentioned Michael on TGP and how he is also learning about friendship like Eleanor.

Gwynne added that Michael changes due primarily to his friendship with Eleanor and how they both change and grow a lot and end up saving one another. [FEEEEEEEEEELS!]

Ira brought up B99 as a show that is great about toxic masc. - especially Terry. Also Wreck it Ralph as an example.

S. brought up Leverage and how the friendships develop over the course of the show, asking the panelists for more examples of that.

Gabriela offered Harry Potter.

An audience member mentioned Kevin (Probably) Saves the World [and made my freaking DAY - I am so sad that show was cancelled and need more people to talk to about it audience member are you out there?! Come find me! lol]. Gabriela joked - I never tried it out, I guess I’m part of the reason it got cancelled - sorry! (lol)

Jess talked about the Avengers movies - those characters did not choose to come together, but like Leverage, they learned to be a team and also friends. Also Dead Like Me.

Ira said Dragon Age.

Gwynne tossed out Rory and Paris from Gilmore Girls as an example of the friendly rivalry.

Ira spoke about interactive fiction as modeling and educating about playing with identity in fairly low stakes environments. The question of - how well can you get to know someone without boning them.

Gabriela talked about dating simulation games and being given the choice to start a friendship or romantic relationship with someone - different ways to access emotional intimacy.

Ira talked about the trickiness of viewing romance as the culmination of a story/relationship.

Jess brought up any iteration of Sherlock being about platonic life partners. Also the show Portlandia which is made by two platonic life partners who even talk about being deeply, platonically in love.

Gabriela added that the show Elementary, especially, gives respect to the platonic relationships.

Ira mentioned the Star Wars movies as having lots of friendships.

I asked from the audience about passionate platonic relationships and my frustration with fandom automatically romantically shipping any relationship with any kind if passion in it. I have in my notes next to that “friendly rivals and shared goals” but am not sure if that was part of answer to my question or not - lol I was so tired.

Gabriela talked about her experiences with shipping something romantically and platonically at the same time. [Ha, it me!]

Gwynne talked about fics that contain friendships, but only in the background of romantic ships.

Ira spoke about the resistance to queer ships that they see as platonic and being accused of being homophobic.

An audience member asked if age plays a factor in who gets to have or who can only have platonic relationships.

Gwynne answered that yes, young and attractive characters get the romantic relationships and are less likely to have more platonic ships.

Ira brought up Lilo and Stitch again as having intergenerational dynamics that lead less to romantic shipping.

Gabriela talked about SW and how Leia got to have a female friend for about 1 minute and that 1 minute was amazing. Also the Leia/Poe relationship was very interesting.

Jess responded that Claudia Gray’s book gives the Leia/Holdo friendship a backstory.

An audience member asked for book recs that are poly but that don’t necessarily focus on the romantic part.

S. recommended the Elemental Logic books by Laurie J. Marks. Jess added that those go very deep. [Just added that to my library holds list woop]

Gwynne mentioned Marge Piercy’s work, particularly Vida, Woman on the Edge of Time, and Small Changes.

Gabriela brought up a visual novel The Confines of a Crown.

Jess mentioned a short story- Fisherman of the Inland Sea by Ursula Le Guin.

And that’s all I got! Fantastic panel! Lots of recs for me to wade through. Wheeee! Check under the #platonic alongside #wc42 for more about this panel - a lot more got tweeted than I managed to get down.

#wiscon #wiscon 42 #exploring the platonic #platonic relationships #platonic shipping

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