#so this isn't a hiatus post or anything

[your--isgayrights]

Probably a bit silly and you’ve likely answered this before, but do you think you’re going to come back to “at the Very least, the Wall will change?” I’m just getting into ORV and I want to read some fanfic! I promise I am patient but I’m hesitant to start reading something that’s abandoned. I hope this doesn’t come off as disrespectful! I completely understand burnout (med student here hehe) and there’s no shame is shelving a project for a time if it no longer speaks to you. I just wanted to check

You're right that I've answered this before but like it's totally fair to ask me again after how long it's been lol. Bc like I think about this a lot too and thus the answer/feelings I have about it kind of changes?

Like my journey with this fic has kind of been tumultuous because I started it before I had access to ADHD medication and a lot of my life can be divided into the Before times and the like Now Times where my baseline happiness/standard of care of myself is vastly improved. I outlined all of wall fic before publishing the first chapter and then the scenes I wanted to include took up a lot more time to create than I initially thought they would and that like frustration was really harmful to like my sense of being a "writer," I guess?

Sorry, getting into this bc I'm trying to articulate my own feelings to myself, but I'll tldr; it at the end probably.

Like when I first started wall fic it had like a strangle hold on my imagination and was a way I was able to articulate feelings about things in life. Truth is, I'm someone who has called 911 for suicide/self-harm of friends/classmates like 4-5 times before turning 18. There is this feeling of helplessness I always had as a minor that the world was always ending around me but even when I was up till 5 am making sure my friend got to the hospital ok without any way of really knowing except waiting for a text back, I still had to just buck up and go to school the next day. The emotions I have towards these times in my life really latched onto omniscient reader, because the way it discusses suicidal ideation and what can help with it rang really true to me. I love KDJ a lot, part of that is, in my interactions with suicidal ideation, his sense of narrative inevitability really describes the emotions behind it well, the feeling of "this is the only Solution that will Actually work" is sewn into the fabric of the universe as "probability." And I've actually been thinking about that term "probability" a lot lately, and how it relates to ideas about Narratives. We're always estimating the likelihood of future events based on past experiences, calling things "realistic" or not. But the function of this system in my own life has often been to convince myself to 'give up' on certain things, conserve the energy it would take to try them. Sure that has helped me when Ive not had any free time/energy in crunch times or big projects, but when something is actually important, giving up feels like shit to be honest. Which is part of why I really love and kind of idealize this character of Yoo Joonghyuk, someone who 'never gives up.' To me KDJ and yjh in wall fic represent these two radical sides of a spectrum where someone becomes unhappy by giving up caring about everything and someone becomes unhappy by never giving up on anything. KDJ is then sort of this love letter to people who give up on themselves, people who could never imagine living past a certain age and yet somehow implausibly remain. YJH is a love letter to people who have been left behind and are So aware of their choices and their power over situations that they blame themselves for things that were actually out of their control in the first place. It's these two different ways of interacting with helplessness and grief and fear, giving up knowing you never could have made a difference in the first place or being convinced you could always have done Something and blaming yourself for failing, constantly stressing about what you could have done and what you ought to do the next time it happens.

Codifying these themes into Characters is originally this fun way of exploring emotions I have about them and sharing the experience of feeling them with others without having to tear too much of my self a part. I feel like when we're young it feels like a sense of self is something like a wall, an image of ourself that we have Built and must put in work to Maintain from erosion. This sense of self and protection makes us feel distinct from other people, the line we draw where we begin and end in the universe, and they become rules dictating How we will Act and Appear towards others. Drawing these walls and lines is pretty important to KDJ's perspective in wall fic, but i now realize I had sort of started doing to myself? Towards the middle of writing it?

Just because I've been on the Internet so long, I know the sort of "narratives" of being different "kinds of authors" online. Because of this, when I started posting wall fic, something that was of a lot of concern to me was how I appeared as an Author to people reading. I honestly think now that the performance of things I associated with like Being an Author were more sort of motivated by a fear of failure and disappointing others than anything else. It's kind of only been recently that I've realized that I have a choice to do things because I enjoy them instead of the fear of not doing them, which sounds a little crazy/obvious to be honest, but forcing myself to be an honor roll student for like more than a third of my adolescence while completely unmedicated kind of made that sort of intrinsic fear of disappointing others the ole'reliable of Task Motivation. Participating in ORV fandom has sort of been this emotional tight rope walk for me of like. Kind of really desperately desiring validation from others but also being afraid of receiving it bc of like the pressure it then puts on to Keep Doing the thing that Works and otherwise feeling like a Failure. But obviously like creative writing isn't going to have the same like Fear/Urgency factor as life stuff and it shouldn't feel that way, anyway, tbh. I'm kind of having to like. Re-invent the idea of writing being Fun and Relaxing for myself. And the idea that talking to other people on the internet (also like. People in general I still do this at uni even) does not actually have to have like any performative elements or factors of like? Disguise? Because like my sense of self doesn't actually have to be a wall I keep building and have to repatch whenever someone comes along with a pickaxe like my sense of self doesn't actually need a metaphor attached to it because it just is what it is lol. Like whatever I am RN is my "self" and that meaning would only suffer under the restraint of comparison, lol.

It's been easier to like feel normaler/better quicker in like my day to day stuff, but because a lot of the time I spent previously trying to write wall fic lies in that like that brain space where I felt afraid and stressed out etc I think I currently have like an aversion to sitting down with it out of like a fear of returning to that mindset. Because I'm like looking it in the face and such I do have like strategies of getting over it like doing warmups or taking time to make nice writing spaces and having a name to/strategies to access the creative part of my brain, but that stuff takes time and because it's a lot less likely I'll have writing on the brain than go through my every day life like the process of becoming normaler/feeling better goes a lot faster day to day than in my approach to writing.

Because in my brain the progress of wall fic is a sort of gentle curve I've been trying to shape the growth of upwards, I wouldn't say it's abandoned at all. But also like because the next "update" is not really guaranteed and I'm kind of hesitant to force myself to commit to a timeline for finishing/releasing it, I think it makes sense to like hesitate about starting it as a reader? In terms of a sense of completion, the chapters are organized in such a way that each one concerns a sort of complete Section of KDJ's life/relationships, tho. Like, Chapter 1 shows KDJ and YJH's first meeting as kids and establishes the "soulmate" setting. Chapter 2 shows the life KDJ carved himself to thereafter, how he and YJH's paths have diverged, established the stakes of KDJ's current "world" in a way parallel to the first few chapters of wos/orv. Chapter 3 focuses on how the soulmate worldview and KDJ + YJH's characters/past interact with the way they view children/the idea of "childhood/youth." Chapter 4 is meant to show how that worldview encounters adult life/ adult friendships/relationships, but the final part of it is something I'm still working on a bit. The structure is such that I tend to bring the end of the chapter back to a moment of peace/resolution/settling in the "new world" after the events of the chapter and then writing a one sentence cliff hanger about what the next chapter includes. So if you want to give some of it a read but don't want to be left feeling too incomplete, I'd read up till before the last sentence of Chapter 3, tho that's a bit silly, lol.

I will say again and have said before, I don't mind that much getting thoughtful comments/messages like yours at all. Thoughtful in the sense of like, desiring a response from me as a person, I suppose? Towards the start of writing online i really like needed the validation of little comments to feel good about myself/my work, but now I realize that the thing I like actually desire that ao3 comments aren't often a good format for is that I just like talking/discussing these things with other people. Sometimes comments will make me feel more like an unpaid customer service representative getting feedback or a student looking at a quick note on my report card. The kind I like most are messages where people want to ask me questions, argue with me about something, share something of their own interaction with the text that there's room for me to interact back with them as a person. The thing I hate most is feeling like I care too much about something/talk/think too much to the point that people are tired of hearing from me/form a bad opinion of me.

So like typing this all out has actually put myself in the brain space of remembering some of the things I like to write about and feel and how the current part of wall fic explores them. I'm kind of setting up my computer and such to start working on it like rn actually, hopefully the like feelings I'm having towards wall fic won't evaporate when i have to go to my class in 1/2 an hour or when i try to reread some of what I've written so far lol.

TLDR; Wall fic isn't abandoned or on hiatus or anything, but I am super slow about it lol. If you wanna give it a read I recommend stopping before the last sentence of Chapter 3 if you don't want any "cliff hangy" feelings. Questions like yours that ask me to interact with orv/wall fic/related themes do honestly help me start thinking about it again and I'll probably try to work on some of it tonight bc of you so thanks 👍

[jinhyun]

💌

[papermachi]

🖥️ - I feel lachrymose. It's difficult to explain, but I just wanted to write down my feelings, particularly here rather than on my writing blog; it just feels somewhat safer here.

To be quite honest, I've been feeling somewhat discontented with Tumblr for quite some time. I still love writing. I have so many little story ideas I'm so excited to write, but Tumblr culture—more specifically that of K-Pop writing Tumblr—just makes me feel so disconnected from everything. I want to feel like I'm a part of something. I want to be involved in this community, yet it feels like no matter where I go, I wind up falling behind the crowd.

I've tried joining networks, but it's so difficult to do so. Not only in the sense of actually finding the bloody networks themselves, but also in finding a single one that accepts me the way I want to be accepted. They're all inactive, catering to gifs, centered on specific groups only, limited to one genre, and so on and so forth. If I do manage to get into a network, the community itself seems very unequal, rigid, and honestly isolating.

I've tried reaching out to individual people, thinking perhaps it's the networks themselves that are stunting my socializing, but even then I seem to continuously mess up! I'm either ghosted immediately, ghosted gradually, or I get so close to them until I make a mistake and they throw me away.

I've concocted so many deranged schemes to make friends, most of which have never actually been implemented. Networks, group chats, Excel spreadsheets. All of them have failed, both the ones I've executed and the ones I haven't. I still have a few schemes up my sleeve, but honestly at this point, I'm questioning whether it's worth it or not. It feels like I'm not a person built for friendships. Like I'm not meant to have friends, or that I should even be allowed to have friends. I drive everyone away eventually, and although I have two friends that remain by my side throughout the years, it's gotten to a point where I'm sure there's something horribly wrong with me that I manage to deter anyone who comes my way.

And as silly as it sounds, I just don't feel like writing/posting because I have no one there by my side. No one as my confidant or hypeman. No one I can talk to about my stories. No one I can seek advice from. I thought having graduated college would motivate me to write more, but I feel even more alone now.

[collisvng]

hey hey!!!! do you mind if i req skz ot8 fake texts of them finding out that idol!fem!reader's girl group is making a colllab w skz??? thank you in advance!! 💗

—cw: slight swearing/suggestiveness

—an: sorry this took my wayyyy to long to get posted, but i hope you still like it! i haven't written anything ot8 officially yet so this was a lot of fun. 💛

🧡: this is my first post back after a bit of a mental health hiatus so i hope my writing isn't too rusty 🫠

[barleyo]

Love Machine.

Android! Leon Kennedy X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: I got this idea while listening to a song with the same title. This was my first time writing for Leon, I hope it isn't too clunky or too short! I am slowly coming out of my hiatus, so my writing skills are a bit rusty, I need you all to give me a little grace for the next few posts in case they aren't great LOL. Love you all so much, thanks for your support!

Part Two: Here

Wordcount: 2.4K

Tags: sex doll/living sex robot (?), sex toys, oral (fem receiving), reader is called things like "pretty girl", p in v, creampie (but not really because he's a sex doll??), unprotected sex, fingering, nipple play

“Welcome in, can I help you find anything?”

(Y/N) gave the cashier a polite smile and shook her head as she walked past him at the check-out desk, trying to be as non-awkward as possible, especially since she was the only customer in the small store at that time of night. It was an in and out trip, she tried to convince herself of that. She needed something small, just enough to get the job done. 

Normally, she would’ve waited until the next day to run an errand like this, but days of stress had left her needy and frustrated, so when her trusty wand finally gave out on her mid-fun, she grabbed her car keys and headed out into the night. 

Her eyes scanned the wall of toys in the back of the store. Pink and purple covered the shelves, vibrating toys and dildos being her main focus. 

“Mini-vibe, bullet vibe,” she mumbled, squatting down to read the boxes on the lower shelves. “What’s even the difference–?”

She settled on a purple rabbit vibrator. Its packaging was the least indicative of its contents, and it was on the smaller side. Easy to hide. 

“Will that be all?” the cashier asked, looking over the box. 

“Yeah, that should be it.”

“You know,” he said, giving her a wide grin, “I can’t say I can suggest this one.” He held the box back out to her, waiting for her to take it. “We’ve gotten a lot of refunded purchases due to it.”

“Oh, shit, really?” (Y/N) took the box back, tucking it under her arm. “Okay, uh, I guess I should ask what the best option would be, then?”

The cashier gave a nod and waved her over, lifting the divider between behind the counter and the rest of the store. “Come with me to the back, we’ve got all the good stuff tucked away back there.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking about whether or not to follow him. She didn’t immediately catch any red flags in his behavior: he was polite enough, no major creep-vibes. (Y/N) finally walked past the open divider and followed him into the stock room. 

“So, over here,” he said, waving his hand over a heavily stocked shelf, “is all the high-powered stuff. These over here have a high-customization level, lingerie over here, and over here ....” 

The man continued to go over the ‘hidden’ options in the store, but (Y/N)’s eyes traveled over to a large, sheet-covered box. 

“Hey, what’s that over there?” she asked, pointing at the box. 

“Oh, that? That’s new, uhm, probably a little out of your comfort zone, though, he’s a little advanced.”

“He?”

The cashier sighed and stepped up to the box, gripping the corner of the sheet. “It’s—it’s a long story, but, here, have a look.”

He pulled the sheet down, dropping it to the cement floors of the room.

“What the fuck is that?!”

A blond man stood in the plain box, the only adornment on the cardboard being his name in bolded letters: Leon. His eyes were closed, his hands sat idly beside his sides, and his body stood bare before them both.

“His name is Leon, he’s a prototype for a new line of responsive sex dolls. I mean, most of the bugs are out of the system, he’s not faulty or anything.”

(Y/N) walked up to the box and scratched the cellophane covering, trying to get his attention. “Is he awake? Or on, I guess?”

“Nah, he has to be set up, there’s a manual in the box, I think,” the man replied, bending down to pick the sheet back up to throw over Leon’s box. Just as he began to shake the sheet off, clearing the residual dirt off of it, (Y/N) spoke again.

“How much for him?”

She mentally smacked herself for asking. There was no doubt he was expensive, hell, he probably wasn’t even up for sale.

“You want him?” He raised his eyebrow, looking the girl up and down, confusion painting his features.

“I– I don’t know, can I have him? How much?”

He crossed his arms for a moment, thinking. “He’s not for sale, per se, but– so, listen, okay?”

“Yeah?”

“You can have him for free, okay? But if you aren’t satisfied with him, you can’t bring him back here, you’re stuck with ‘em.” He held his hand out expectantly. “Deal?”

“Deal,” she said, taking his hand quickly, giving it a few affirming shakes.

The boxcutter in her hand worked quickly, slicing open the cellophane. (Y/N) bunched up the plastic and threw it to a random corner in her bedroom, turning back to face Leon. She gave him a testing poke, and when he didn’t respond she turned that poke into a gentle tapping on the side of his face.

“Leon?” The name felt like acid on her tongue, guilt already creeping through her. “Wake up.”

She dropped her hand from his face and guided it further down his chest. The synthetic skin felt real, almost in an uncanny way. He was warm to the touch, not plastic-y and cold like how she assumed other sex dolls felt. 

“Come on, big boy.” she muttered, pulling Leon’s large, heavy body out of the box and placing him on his feet near her bed. “Where’s your–? Oh, got it.” (Y/N) snatched the instruction manual from the box. The print was foggy, and some words were horribly misspelled, but she flipped through the pages and located the directions page. She read the page to herself quietly. “I am Leon, your AI-powered male sex doll. The setup process of a Leon doll is extremely easy. To turn me on, just set my dial. After that, just sit back and let me love you for a little while!” 

(Y/N) walked a small circle around him in search of his ‘on-switch.’ She found it right on the back of his neck, almost hidden by his swoop of blond hair. On the silver dial sat three options: Off, gentle, and rough. A hand rose and ticked the dial to gentle. She stepped away from him quickly after hitting the switch, nervous to see what would happen.

His eyes opened slowly, and a weak blue light beamed from them, scanning outwards before shutting off completely. A grin slowly spread across Leon’s all-too-real features as he powered on. 

“Hey there, pretty girl,” he said, standing still in her room, only moving his head to face her. “Looks like you could use some company.”

“Uh, hello.” Her mouth was dry as she spoke, feeling like she made a bad decision the second he had snapped to life. 

“Hm, why don’t you come closer to me? I don’t bite,” Leon paused before cheekily adding “unless you want me to.” He took her in his arms and let his eyes drift down her body. He eased her shirt over her head and tried to undo the clasps of her bra.

“What are you doing?” She tried to pull away but he held her in place.

“You have all your clothes, but I’m exposed over here. That’s not so fair, is it?” He looked down at his hardened length, ushering her to look down with him.

Her eyes widened a bit. “When did you even get hard–?”

“I’m always hard around pretty girls like you.” He slipped off her bra and groped her breasts with his large, somewhat calloused hands. “Look at these, baby. You have pretty tits, and a pretty face, huh?” 

A hum left her throat as she felt his head dip down and take one of her swollen nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue over the bud, latching on to properly suck it after a few teasing moments. She ran her hands through his hair and gripped onto it tightly, whining at the feeling of his mouth popping off of her tit. 

“Bet you’re getting wet from this, aren’t you?” His voice was airy and muffled while he spoke. He left open mouthed licks over her pebbled nipples, grazing over them with his tongue’s warmth.

She gave a weak nod in return.

“Mm, maybe I should take care of that,” he chuckled lightly and lowered himself to his knees. “Gonna let me take these off you?” He tugged at the waistband of her shorts.

“G’head,” (Y/N) said, feeling her thighs rub against each other impatiently. 

He pulled them down to her ankles and she stepped out of them, leaving her in just her panties. She shuddered at the feeling of his tongue darting across the cotton covering her wet center. Again, Leon laughed a bit at her reaction and licked a heavier stripe against the fabric. When he was rewarded with a gasp from her open mouth, he pulled the panties to the side and pressed his tongue at her slit.

“F–Fuck, that feels good,” she whined, hand still messily buried in his hair. 

Leon kept his eyes on her the whole time, not letting a moment pass where his blue irises weren’t piercing hers. 

His tongue dipped out of her entrance and moved up to her clit. He fidgeted with it, trying to see which motion worked best on her, and settled on a circular movement. The longer he sat slotted between her thighs, her knees thrown over his shoulders, the more frequently he felt her cunt jump from pleasure. He placed his tongue hard on her clit, giving it rough, pressured licks. 

“Almost there, I’m close,” (Y/N) said, feeling a coil form in her stomach. She had felt this with other toys, but by far, Leon was the best at the job. “Don’t stop,” she hummed, voice catching in her throat while he moved his head side to side, dragging his mouth sloppily over her cunt.

A string of profanities escaped her mouth when she felt her orgasm hit. A sputtering wave of warmth flushed through her body, her pussy clenching around nothing. 

“That’s it, good job,” Leon cooed. He held his hand up to her face expectantly. “Spit.”

Her mind already felt melted, like it could’ve oozed out of her brain at any minute. She mindlessly complied with him, spitting onto his lengthy fingers.

“Ah–! S’too much, Leon.”

“No, no, you can take it. I’ll be gentle, I know you want another one,” he said with a slightly mocking tone. “Greedy girl needs something to fill her up.” Plunging his fingers into her pussy, he groaned at the feeling of her slick walls still fluttering. “Y’haven’t even recovered from the first one, but I’m gonna give you another one,” he said, curling his fingers, “gonna be twice as strong.”

“Fuck, it’s too much,” (Y/N) knew her sobs of pleasure were pathetic sounding, but she couldn’t muster anything else up as she tried to push his wrist down and away, not being able to stand the feeling of his two fingers prodding at her most sensitive spot. 

“Don’t fight it,” he warned, “not when you’re so close. Yeah, I feel you getting all tight on me. Mm, you’re gonna love how it feels, it only gets better from here, pretty girl.” 

Leon became more aggressive with his movement, moving his whole arm as his fingers jammed in and out of her. (Y/N) was lost in her ecstasy. Her hands shook and flew aimlessly before taking purchase of Leon’s shoulders and holding onto them, nails digging into the skin.

Her second release, as promised, was much stronger. Her legs clamped around him, her moans came out in long, shaky intervals, and her brain was mush. She couldn’t force herself to focus on anything but the cum dripping out of her cunt and down Leon’s fingers and forearm. She screwed her eyes shut, feeling even the dim light of her bedroom to be too much for her now fucked-out, slutty head to handle. 

She hardly noticed when he had placed on her back in the bed with her legs spread. Not until he guided his cock across her folds, tapping the head of it against her swollen, abused clit. 

“More?” she asked, voice breaking and weak. “Can’t take it ‘nymore.”

“C’mon, sweet thing, you can give me one more, can’t you? Just one more?” He whispered into her ear, slowly pushing into her, holding himself back. 

“Jus’ one? No more after that?”

“Mhm, just one.” Leon bottomed out and stretched her walls with his girth. The tip of his cock gave sweet, shallow kisses to her cervix’s tip, gently pressing into it with each thrust. His hips rocked into her, but he felt his dick being forced out of her walls, pushed out of her heat. “Even after all that, still tight f’me.” He slid back in, rougher this time, trying to keep himself inside. “Need somethin’ to stretch you out, baby. Good thing y��got me now.”

His hands were placed under her knees, scooping and holding them apart while he fucked her. He slowly transitioned from fucking and burrying his cock into her, to bringing her body forward, bouncing her on his cock. 

“Leon—”

“Hush, now, you’re okay. Mm,” he wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth, “look at how you take it. It’s like you were made to be used like this, sweet girl. Maybe you’d be better off as a toy.” 

She moaned at this, feeling her cunt twitch at his words.

“Yeah? You like that?” Leon’s eyebrow raised at her a bit, teeth barring in smirk. “You like being a little toy. Being– oh, fuck, you’re enjoying this so much. Your pretty little face...”

(Y/N) threw her arms over his neck, pulling him closer to her body. Their chests pressed together, her sweat slick between them both. “God, Leon, please!”

Leon pressed his mouth on her to quiet her down, swallowing her moans as their tongues and teeth gnashed against each other. He winced as (Y/N) bit down on his lip, choking back her sobs when she clamped down on his cock. Taking this as a sign, Leon emptied his thick, synthetic cum into her. 

Once he pulled out, a mixture of both of their cum pumped out, gushing and wetting in between her thighs.

“Good job, baby,” he said, stroking her face, grinning at the warmth of her cheek. “You did so well, getting all cockdrunk for me. To think I was being gentle. Wanna try my rough mode out for size?” He joked, letting his hand grip her hip. 

“Goodnight, Leon,” she responded, unimpressed at his teasing and tired from what he had done to her. She brought her hand to the back of his neck and turned his dial to ‘off.'

[ilovechuuy4]

₊˚⊹♡Kinktober Week Two ๋࣭ ⭑Face Sitting & Cock Rings

Specifically Nikolai x Reader

Warnings; Cock Rings, face sitting, highly nsfw, overstimulation, descriptions of privates being ate out??, etc etc.

A/n; guys i just dont know what yall want any more literally everything i post is just flopping. But like i said, after new year's im taking a long hiatus, ill still post prolly every once a month but again, i wont post as much anymmore cause i have college stuff and schooling in general.

Saying you were hesitant to do this was an understatement. You were scared, petrified even, the thought of sitting on your lover's face wasn't on your "want to do" list. Oh but of course, this clown knew how to talk you into it. Telling you he'd be find and he nor you would get hurt. Hes so kinda and loving but sorta manipulative at times, never in a bad way of course. So that's what dragged you here, hovering yourself over Nikolai's face, thighs trembling from how long you've contemplated if you truely wanted to do this. The white haired man's arms wrapped around your trembling thighs, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs. "My dove, cmon. I promise I won't suffocate or anything!" He teased with a smile, pointy teeth edging through as he continues.

"Besides, I think I'd like it if I suffocate by these pretty thighs." He hummed, he was needy, impatient even, not only cause he wanted to taste you but you were slowly strocking his cock which had a cock ring wrapped around tightly. He hated this, he couldn't cum and you won't let him taste you? Insane! He wouldn't have it, so he took matters into his own hands, like they weren't already. Fingers tightly gripping your hips and pulling you down, a gasp escaped you as his mouth met your entrance. The clown's tongue lapping at your sensitive hole like a dog that needed water. Soft cries and moans leaving you as your hips tentivly grind down into his face. Nikolai groaned, lankey digits digging into your plush thighs.

Your back arched up like a cat's, your own hands cupping over your mouth as you stiffiled some moans. Nikolai continues to work your entrance, tongue delving inside, probing your insides as he groaned, hips rolling in the air. This godforsaken cock ring, it literally cursed him. But as soon as your lover felt your hand wrap around his hard and throbbing length, making his breath hitched. His fingers digging into your skin, leaving faint marks from his grip. He could feel you strock him slowly, his hips thrusting a bit in your hand. Fuck this was too much for him he couldn't bare the thought of not being able to release. So why not just tease his beautiful dove? His digits gripping your ass firmly, squeezing each sphere of flesh 'nd meat in his palms. His mouth pulling away, causing you to let out a quiet whine.

"Look at you, my dove, you're so needy for me, hmm?" He couldn't help but chuckle, biting your inner thigh a bit harshly. "Mhmp.. Cmon this isn't fair.. I'll stop teasing." You grumbled with a slight pout of the lip, but you most definitely were lying. Nikolai knew this much but still dipped back in, tongue finding your tight heat once more and lapping at it with soft groans. "My, my you taste delicious, delectable even." He said against you, tongue delving back inside you, feeling your walls squeeze around his tongue. "Ahh~ it feels good.. Mhmp~" You moaned, eyes closing as you roughly grind yourself against Nikolai's face. Your hand found the others cock once again, pumping it in your hand.

"Mhm, my sweet.." The white haired man groaned once more into your skin, eyes closed as he tasted your sweet essence. Precum was already dripping from his member, but he couldn't have that release he craved because of that godforsaken ring that blocked him from 'freedom'. "I think I'm gonna cum." You gasp as your boyfriend's tongue continued to explore your tightness. Pre filling Nikolai's mouth, a growl escaping him at the sweet yet salty flavor. His tongue starting to 'assult' your insides, your entire being jolting, tears bubbling in your eyes as you finally reach your peak. The other's eyes widen a tad as he felt you finally reach peak, your essence all over his tongue as he swallowed it down.

"Amazing, you did absolutely beautiful, my pretty dove." He soothed you through your intense orgasm, helping you off where you pant on his face. "Ha.. That felt good.." You admitted with a faint blush, you fumble a bit, fingers wrapping around the cock ring around Nikolai's erect. Once it was pulled off he quite literally busted. A thick string of ejaculation shooting from his tip as he painted heavily, face mixed with lust and embarrassment. "Ah.. Alright dove let's get this cleaned up.. You did great." He said between quiet pants, rubbing the small of your back.

[cokou]

I HAVE RETURNED ONCE AGAIN!!

first I wanna say congrats to my pookie for getting over 100 followers 😍😍 (im so late 🤭)

but my request today is strawhats x gn!reader (or any gender you like) and literally just random cuddling headcannonss- ngl ive been feeling lonely af and need 2 get 2gether (I should be going for therapy, but instead I sit in my room and simp for fictional anime boys that will never be real 😔😔)

-(ps; this was ashs1mps4ace ☺️)

Note ✉* ~ OMG TY SM FOR THE CONGRATS I LOVE YOU BB || Last fic of all before i go hiatus because I love this request and i should do it so i did!! 🥰🥰 || Do not translate, transfer, or reform, this is my only account (exp. Ao3), will not be cross posted anywhere. || 𖤐٭┆Masterlist

Summary* ~ Title itself, cuddling hcs! Warnings* ~ sweet cuddlings😋 || Genre* ~ SFW

ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵐᵘˢᶦᶜ, ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ?

❝MONKEY D. LUFFY❞

•Honestly, he is such a silly boy. I just know that he would use his gum-gum fruit and wrap his arms around you more than 10 times!

•Coming in as number 2 for the most softest and most smooth skin ever, i mean he's basically rubber right? He would be very nice to cuddle with especially with him fruit. You could hug him tightly and you'll feel like you're hugging a piece of huge HUGE pillow.

•Did i mention that he laughs every 5 seconds of cuddling? Yeah, he would be laughing for an hour straight with his arms wrapped around you.

•He isn't the top fan of cuddles, but whenever you initiate it or maybe if he's feeling a bit under the weather he would make it as an exception.

❝RORONOA ZORO❞

•Said no the first time you had asked him if you two could cuddle. After you convinced him, he actually enjoyed most of it and would never admit that he did.

•Whenever you ask him he'd say, "Again with that stupid thing? Okay let's go." Would drag you to the bed and never let you go untill he's asleep or you need to go to the bathroom.

•His skin is fairly rough but also soft, his muscles could headlock you anytime and you're afraid of it happening. He squeezes you so tight and he thinks that he's doing it softly and that you were enjoying it, but reality is you cant even breathe with his arms around you.

•Falls asleep as soon as you land on the bed and snores so loud it deafens you.

❝NAMI❞

•She 100% initiated to hug and cuddle with you! Super sweet, super soft, super smooth, and smells amazing. You enjoy being in her arms everytime you get the chance, so you savor every second.

•Usually happens everytime she's irritated and wants to get off some steam and happens every night you two will be going to sleep.

•Arms so soft you fell asleep as soon as she wrapped her arms around you, and she smells so nice (money) that you always end up falling asleep on her arms and got her complaining that she cant feel anything other than a familiar static feeling in her arms.

•Although when you are the one who initiate it, there would absolutely be no problem at all, neither of you two turns down the offer of the endless soft cuddles!!

❝VINSMOKE SANJI❞

•HIS USUAL HEART EYES BABY!! Would 100000% initiate it and would NOT stop bothering you until you accept his offer, luckily it only takes you 1 time to actually accept his offer.

•He prepares the bed wayyy before he asks you, designs it with rose petals, scented candles, roses on the bed, the room smells like your favorite scent, and of course his cooking!!

•Once you two cuddle, he will never let go. His hug is suprisingly loose, to make you comfortable. He would offer you everything you need, foods, blankets, more pillows, you name it!

•He also smells like rose petals and little bit of deo (for hygiene ofc) and that makes it even more enjoyable in his arms!

❝USOPP❞

•... "Whats that?"

•Had to go on a full 1 hour explanation of what cuddling is and how it works to him. He listens so intense and he almost looks like a child missing the point of a lesson😭. He also bombards you with soooo much questions.

•But after all, he agrees to cuddle with you and you both enjoy the time being with each other. Also he doesn't know how to cuddle so you take in as the big spoon!

•Im sorry to say this but, i personally think he smells a bit like guava. It's not in a rude way but personally because they're sometimes so busy that they cant even take a bath, so cuddles with him are only happening after he takes a bath.

❝TONY TONY CHOPPER❞

• "Hehe, asking me to cuddle isn't gonna make me flattered!"

•THE SOFTEST OF EVERYONE, i mean he's a furball right? He feels like a cuddly bear and he doesn't like that. He thinks that it offends him whenever he gets called anything else other than a reindeer.

•Would only accept cuddles if you'd help him with his rumble balls making, Which you always do so it isn't that big of a problem. The only thing is that the ingredients are most definitely the hardest part.

•He smells like a newly bathed puppy in strawberry scented shampoo. He also falls asleep very fast in your arms and would deny that he enjoyed his time with you, he thinks you're very sweet and kind so he reluctantly agree (he'd refuse to everyone)!

❝NICO ROBIN❞

•You would be the first to initiate and she would accept without hesitation, so many reasons why. She thinks that you're the sweetest of every strawhat (besides chopper) and that you seem very delicate.

•Her hair smells like fresh flower scented shampoo and she is very soft, her arms gives you so much comfort and of course she uses her devil fruit whenever you two cuddle.

•Her devil fruit helps her big spoon you and gives you extra warmth in her arms that youll never forget, ever. She's also sometimes the one who initiates the cuddling session but mostly you.

•Cuddles happens regularly before sleep and waking up, with her beside you and arms on you, you take long before getting off the bed with her wince you wanna stay with her in that position forever. We love Robin!!

©Cokou 2024, all works belongs to me.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Indefinite hiatus

I was toying with writing up a long post about what running this blog has meant to me over the years and why I'm stepping away for the foreseeable future, but that feels too dramatic for what's really just me saying "I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year". So, I'll just say I'm not going to be on tumblr for at least the rest of the year.

Okay, actually I have a bunch more to say, but it'll be under the cut.

Politics sucks. And paying attention to it, even in the reduced way I've been paying attention to it over the last few years, is hard. You end up spending so much of your supposedly free time thinking about things you can't change, getting mad about things you can't change, and getting depressed when the people who can change things just keep going in the wrong direction. Even when good things happen, it's just a matter of a few days before something bad happens once again. And vice versa. It's an endless cycle of hope, despair, resignation. Rinse and repeat, and triple speed that cycle during an election year. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of spending every other year worried about what's going to happen on one day in November. I'm tired of hearing a piece of news and automatically composing a post about it or running through 20 different responses I might give to asks I might get about it in my head.

Everyone I know who doesn't pay attention to politics (or at least doesn't run a social media page dedicated to it) seems to enjoy their live a lot more than I currently do. Which sounds way more dramatic than what's actually going on, which is mainly that I want to get to a place where I just don't care. I want the world and its problems to flow off my back instead of weighing it down. I want to stop thinking about what people on the internet might say about something I haven't even posted yet. And that can't happen while I'm tied to this blog. So I'll be staying away from it for at least the rest of the year.

I did have a good time with this blog. I've met a bunch of really awesome people, some who are sadly no longer with us (RIP Blue), and some who I think will carry on the "fight" way better than I ever did. This isn't an admission of defeat, or pessimism about the election. Even if Trump wins, and I truly think he will if we have a fair election, I still won't be back this year. But I'll still vote and I'll still be proud that my silly little tumblr blog had an impact on some people's lives. I may not have the reach of a Tucker Carlson or a Glenn Beck, but I've gotten a lot of messages from people who said they changed their minds about an issue, or even politics in general, because of things I said, and that counts for something. If you guys take anything away from me, I want it to be this: Even the smallest impact matters. It doesn't matter if you only ever reach one person and then stop, reaching that one person is enough. Changing one vote is enough. Changing one mind is enough.

To all my mutuals, you guys are the best. I truly hope you have wonderful lives and I'm sad I won't get to see your names on my dash everyday anymore. To anyone I've ever followed or reblogged from, I couldn't have had a blog without you, so thank you. Yes, even the leftiod psychos, XD. To everyone else, find your own balance and never give into despair and never listen to people who tell you not to try. Even a failed effort is still more meaningful than sitting back and mocking people for trying to improve even the smallest thing about themselves or the world around them.

I won't be logging back in after I post this, so any messages or asks you send, I won't see. I'll still be active (or as active as I ever am) in my discord, so feel free to join there if you want to. It should still be my pinned post, but if it isn't, I'll edit this with a new invite link.

And that's all I've got to say for now.

[partycatty]

was requested to write interviewer!reader by this lovely post so here we are. @super-ssimp

johnny cage > interview

you, a reporter, have some questions for the hollywood heartbreaker. he just can't seem to focus on your questions.

notes: heheheheeggeheegehehegeh he's so fine in the gif i'm gonna shit everywhere

[ masterlist ]

• a box-office smash hit dropped after a long quiet period from hit star johnny cage, back stronger than ever with a movie that blew audiences away with its storytelling and casting. you had to squeeze in an interview with the director, cage himself. you were a part of a big company, front lining with interviews and now face to face with probably one of the most attractive men you'd ever worked with.

• johnny sat in his chair across from you, adjusting his hips ever so slightly in his seat as he holds intense eye contact with you. you return the stare, as hard as it is while a makeup specialist tidied up the powder on your brow.

• "you look great, doll," he's quick to charm, pointing a finger with a grin. "don't sweat this. you'll be fine."

• "i know i'll be," you return his affirmations with your own confidence, a beaming grin on your features that makes his breath hitch. "i've been in this job for nine years, mr. cage. we just haven't met."

• "what.. a.. shame," his voice is teasing, somehow his flirtations come off as honey smooth rather than sleazy. you scoff playfully, earning a laugh from the both of you. two assistants clip microphones to your tops, testing them quickly and hearing a full go-ahead to begin the interview.

• "i'm here with johnny cage, director of the new smash hit 'mortal kombat,'" your voice is smooth, experienced. "i suppose my first question is; what inspired such a story? it's unlike anything we've seen in films."

• the question seemingly didn't register at first, his faraway gaze blocking his thoughts. realizing his flaw, johnny snaps into celebrity mode, "oh, hrm — the ideas that came to me were because of a massive arc in my life. uh — without getting too into it, i was at a low point in the last year, running myself into the dirt. something changed and i wanted to be the new, young, and pretty one behind the camera for once rather than in front of it. i spent the entire summer writing and consulting some friends of mine and we were able to pull this film together based on our relationships and experiences. you won't see anything else like it because there isn't anything else like it. i was inspired by my life, and there is no other johnny cage in this timeline than the one you're talkin' to."

• you nod and agree, face hot at the way his expression lights up with passion as he walks you through his process. "right, and this was after a long hiatus, was it not? there were, rumors, so to speak—"

• "my divorce?" he cuts you off with a glint in his eye as he toys with his ring. "no need to dance around it, i suppose. yeah, different life paths, but i'm a changed man. single and ready to mingle as soon as me and my team crank out some projects we've had in the works."

• "so you confirm yourself to be single? confirming the rumors?" you clarify, leaning forward in interest — whether it was for your own or for the public's, you wouldn't disclose.

• "why?" his question catches you off guard. johnny rests a hand on his chin, tilting his head as he squints. a large grin creeps up onto his lips. "you interested?"

• you tense up, nervously giggling as your eyes dart around the small production team who is trying equally as hard to not laugh at your position. you were trained and professional and yet this man turned you into a blushing mess for all cameras to see. "that's not my question, mr. cage—"

• "—johnny," he interrupts you, pose unmoving. "the pretty ones get to call me johnny."

• what was he getting at? your notecards feel unreadable and your brain's fuzzing from the sudden attention. he was a pretty man, that much was sure, but was he really flirting with you or pushing his behavior for attention? it was hard to tell, his affections were dizzying enough.

• he chuckles at your blank, sweaty stare, your lips opening and closing like the dumbest fish in the tank. you'd been hit on before by interviewees but johnny took the cake without a doubt, from his veiny arms to his touchable hair, all the way to his tight, round—

• "earth to interviewer," johnny's teasing fingers wiggled in your face, grounding you back to the rickety wooden chair and blinding lights. "too much, or not enough?"

• "neither," you lazily protest as you come to. "just didn't... expect all of that." the interview proceeds as normal, with johnny's clicks and compliments littered to keep you flustered right when you regained your composure. it must've been a game to him, how long you're heated over a simple compliment. but it wasn't the compliment necessarily, it was the person giving them.

• it wraps up just as quickly as it started, and the production was being wrapped up the moment you delivered your outro. johnny's suspiciously large, dreamy grin was plastered onto his face for a strangely long amount of time.

• "it was nice working with you," you try to be cordial, it's hard when that smug look is looking back at you, like he's planning something. before you could stick around to figure it out, you spin on your heel with a beet-red blush on your cheeks.

• johnny visibly startles at your sudden turn, reaching forward to grab your wrist before you could fully face away. he flinches at himself and his abruptness, too eager to give away his desperation for just a little more time. he pulls away, scratching his neck.

• "sorry, doll," he gestures toward your wrist, a confused frown on your lips burying his ego for a moment. "just... hey, listen."

• "i'm listening," you cock a brow, stomach flipping at the out-of-script interaction.

• "me and you," he starts with a groaning sigh, struggling to find the words you stole from his throat from one look. "just us two. no cameras, no questions, no divorce — wait —" his slip-up makes you giggle. "no, no, really. lets go out sometime. gimme a shot, whatdya say?"

• "out?" your tone is teasing, a smirk of your own forming on your lips. "you flatter a lowly reporter."

• "you're not lowly," his voice drops down, more serious with a heartfelt smile. "you... make it hard to focus." he's silent for a moment before jumping into his playful attitude. "pick a different career, you're distracting me! but seriously, dinner? movie? not one of mine, i swear!"

• "only if you swear," you grin up at him, feeling far more human with johnny than you had in the interview.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being a tumblr user?

👌💚 - to find this later

So my story probably isn't very unique. I am a 17-year-old female with very protective parents. They have to approve of everything I watch, I can't go out with friends if a guy they don't know well will be there, I have parental controls on my phone, and social media is generally forbidden. Just a couple months ago they finally allowed me to download snapchat, but they need to know everyone who's on it and I have to have met them in person.

Generally this doesn't bother me. I understand that they do it to protect me and I've seen the messed up things my friends have gone through because they lacked this protection (or broke the rules effectively).

I'm no angel though and I've played some online games without permission before, I eventually felt guilty and gave them up. I've never signed up for any social platforms without their consent though, so I don't have Instagram (that has cost me some friendships), or tik tok (honestly I'm fine with jt), or Facebook, and any accounts I do have (like pinterest) are devoid of any information that may hint at my identity.

Tumblr is the biggest rule I've broken with no intention of leaving it. For years I read posts on pinterest and longed to be part of the community and now I've gone and done it. Not without consequences, one of my parents' big worries is stumbling across porn, which has happened twice (just once on this site) and that's what made me question if I was in the wrong here.

I still don't plan on leaving, if anything I'll go on hiatus until I turn 18 or something, just to respect my parents, but knowing how much I love this site that isn't likely.

AITA for that?

[leothil]

fic recs: archive edition 28

With season seven now behind us and a long summer of hiatus ahead, I peered into my bookmarks from December 2021 and decided that the only logical thing was to assemble a list of Christmas-y fics! Maybe the most wonderful time of the year will make the wait a bit easier.

Previous rec posts can be found here!

i'm here (i’m yours for the taking) by farfromthstars (@doeeyeseddie) Eddie agrees to accompany Buck to his old roommate's wedding (Connor! Making a comeback in this fic a year before he turned up in canon again!), but due to a misunderstanding everyone thinks they're married. Surely playing husbands for a weekend won't awaken anything in them! 19k words, rated T

this christmas (i'm gonna risk it all) by @bievanbuckleys The 118 rent a large cabin together for the holidays. Buck has long ago decided to keep his feelings to himself, but in such close proximity it might be hard to keep it all in. Oh, and one small problem - the room he's sharing with Eddie has only one bed. 27.8k words, rated M

this love we got (is the best of all) by @thatbuddie Buck and Eddie are hosting the 118 for Christmas Eve dinner the first Christmas after they got married, and Buck stresses about wanting it to be perfect. A sweet slice-of-life established relationship piece! 2.7k words, rated G

(as long as you love me so) let it snow by lecornergirl (@clusterbuck) Ok I'm cheating a bit, this isn't technically about Christmas. But they do get stuck in a snowstorm and the vibes are soft and fluffy, even when it starts with a funeral. 2.1k words, rated T

Merry Christmas uh, happy Pride and enjoy the start of summer! And please leave the authors kudos and comments, it's the only way they know someone has read and enjoyed their work!

[thestrangestthlng]

Thoughts and prayers rants...

So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.

But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.

Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.

Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.

That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?

At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.

Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.

For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.

You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.

Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.

Again:

We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.

[puraiuddo]

༺JazzProwl Fic Recs༻

— brought to you by puraiuddo -

This is by all means not a complete list of banger JP fics! It's my personal favorites—those fics that lodged themselves in my brain for one reason or another and never left.

Hopefully this list satisfies at least some of the sudden influx of interest for JP fics (and given how well rec'ing a fic turned out last time...) But, nah for real, not to make rec'ing fics fake deep or anything, but I think the fandom would be a better place if people were more unapologetically enthusiastic about fics and less afraid to interact with authors. So if you use this list to find some fics you have to promise to leave some unhinged comments! ٩("•̀ᴗ•́")و ̑̑

But before I start, I want to acknowledge the prevalence of potentially stereotypical depictions of Jazz in regards to his speech (❞), criminal/violent/sexual characterization (▾), or backstory/origins (⟲) in the JP/TF fandom. I've attempted to flag fics with the corresponding symbols above, because I'd like to recognize those problems while still rec'ing for a variety of other fantastic qualities. That said, I'm not infallible so please use your own discretion.

I've also tagged fics with "hiatus" if it's been a while between updates, but the author hasn't made a comment—these fics are especially important to interact with, b/c you never know if the author stopped posting b/c they weren't getting any reviews!

Now, without further adieu...

༺♡❦♡❦♡❦♡ -ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ- ♡❦♡❦♡❦♡༻

༺JazzProwl-centric༻

Mistakes on Mistakes Until— by jabberish

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 280,212 - Alt-War AU』

Ricochet's got a bad case of conscience and he's pretty sure it's about to get him killed. (aka I think I've read every defection/ex-Con au and now I'm forced to make my own. Jazz-centric.)

* (づ ᴗ _ ᴗ)づ♡ The crème de la crème of JP fics. I really can't properly articulate the sheer amount of love and respect I have for MOMU other than that if you haven't read it, your life is worse for it. Go read it. Then read it again. Now. (I've read it 4 times. No, I'm not joking) I love all the fics on this list dearly, but MOMU holds a very special place in my heart. Flawless characterization, flawless dynamics, flawless plot, one-of-a-kind writing style... it's got it all. Of note: I've not flagged it despite its premise, because it will expertly subvert your expectations and you need to read it to understand. Bonus: it's got a lot of well-deserved fanart!

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Untitled Series by Need2Scream

『(2/?) - ffn - Words: 158,064 - War AU - hiatus』

Where the Lonely Ones Roam - 116,327

"Say you have a little faith in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. Need to have a little trust in me. Just close your eyes and let me lead. Follow me home. To where the lonely ones roam." Eventual Prowl/Jazz

Spark - 41,737 - hiatus

"Chase you deep into the unknown. In my dark, in my dark, you're the Spark."/ "Roam with me, come down to where all of the others fell. Get lost, in the dark to find yourself. Just remember what I said, 'cause it isn't over yet."/SEQUEL to Where the Lonely Ones Roam

*It's not clear by the summary, but the series is essentially about Jazz and Prowl's developing relationship as they overcome war-related trauma, intermingled with a spectacular amount of original lore. See the author's ffn bio for a rundown. The originality and attention to detail in the world building in this AU is awe-inspiring. There are 2 fics in the JP series, but the author has a bunch of other Gen fics set in the same AU and another on ao3. Bonus: some of the Gen fics are Jazz & Prowl-centric and can be read as romantic!

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Crime in Crystals Series by Aard_Rinn

『(7/?) - ao3 - Words: 258,030 - Crime/Hitman AU - hiatus - ▾ ⟲』

The Hitman - 6,942 - pt 1

Prowl is the last clean cop in Praxus, the final flickering light in the darkness. There are plenty of people who would like to see him snuffed.

2. The Clarification, 3. The Kill, 4. The Capture, 5. The Prime, 6. The Talk, 7. The Chase 8. TBD

*The main plot is broken into 7 separate fics, but it's all one continuous story. Read the whole thing! It's on my all time favorites. It's thrilling, tremendously action packed, and the character dynamics are some of my favorites. It's also hysterical and wholesome and I've reread it a stupid amount of times. Bonus: it's got fanart + there are 5 extra fics, including a Jazz-centric prequel, in the same AU.

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

War Eternal Series by Hearts of Eternity

『(3/4) - ffn - 2m? idk it's insane - Bayverse War AU - discontinued - ▾ ❞ ⟲』

Where You and I Collide - 362,090 - prequel

Separately, Jazz and Prowl are like forces of nature- they are uncompromising and uncontrollable. But what becomes of their natures when these two unstoppable forces collide? Will one break the other, or will they both be stronger for it?

As We Come Together - 485,586 - pt 2 - Gen

While the surviving Autobots begin to flock to Earth in response to Optimus' call, trying to find a new home on the strange organic planet called Earth, some unfortunate bots are beginning to realize the price of war may have been too high. Sequel to Time

May We Never Let Go - 408,409 - pt 3 - Gen - d/c

Hell literally lies in wait above Earth as the Cybertronians and Earthlings coexist uneasily, rattled by every attack the Fallen and his master launch on them. With new evil rising, the powers that be on Earth and beyond are gearing up for war.

1. As We Come Together, prequel 2: Surface of the Sun

*Long, convoluted explanation coming up given that this series is obviously a whole different beast compared to likely any other fanfic series you or I have ever encountered in our lives... b/c the author is just superhuman or smth idk...

The series is officially listed as 4 parts (WYaIC, WTWHL, AWCT, MWNLG). Where You and I Collide is the JP-centric prequel to the other 3 Gen fics (that have substantial background JP). WTWHL is technically part 1 of the series, but it's sorta more character-focused ficlets than a continuous story... which is why I didn't specifically list it as a rec even if that makes things more confusing... (ᵕ¬ᴗ¬) Also the author didn't list Surface of the Sun as part of the series, but it's a direct prequel (like WYaIC) starring the Lambo twins and it's... oh it's so good... absolutely shatters my heart that it's been d/c'd.

I've not listed an exact world count, b/c if you want to read every bit of the AU with all its prequels and offshoots (which I would highly recommend and have done)... I'm not gonna do the math for you, sorry. The main 4-part story is ~1.7m+ which I realize is frankly insane and extraordinarily intimidating, but it is so sooo sooooo worth it. The author has created their own fully fleshed out TF world with its own lore and characters and the time and effort they've put into is mind-boggling .

Anywho, despite ultimately being d/c'd, the series is still tremendously readable and nothing about JP is left feeling unbearably unfinished. I also happened to track down the lovely author and beg for a summary of the ending, b/c I'm a bit of a freak and they very kindly provided it so if not knowing how a fic ends bothers you/prevents you from reading, you have the option of getting closure even if you can't have it written out.

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Fathomless by Sroloc_Elbisivni

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 19,949 - Fantasy AU - complete』

Jazz is drowning on dry land on the other side of the world. Once upon a time, before Jazz was born, the Rust Sea covered a swathe of Cybertron bigger than the territory of any city-state except Iacon. The sea had been more powerful than any engine besides the one at the heart of the planet itself, big enough to swallow a metrotitan in its depths, the birthplace of storms. Thing is, none of that was Jazz. He doesn’t remember those days, before he was himself, except in his dreams. And his dreams are terrifying.

*This fic makes me feel some type of way... it gives me shivers. It's so eerie and the premise is so unique. It's also beautifully bittersweet, which is a hard concept to pull off.

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

The Judge by SilenceoftheLlamas

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 107,653 - Alt-War AU』

Prowl’s got a secret, and he’d rather be dead in the ground before he let anyone find out about it. Jazz’s got one too, but he’s not as good at hiding it. Prowl is a secret superhero, Jazz is a secret fanboy who doesn’t know that he works with the guy. By night Prowl is the virtuous hero The Judge, but by day he’s just an unassuming tactical officer.

*Jazz and Prowl are sorta painfully adorable in this fic and the JP is so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. Plus it's got a really fun premise with lots of shenanigans.

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Black on White on Black Series by pipermca

『(3/?) - ao3 - Words: 86,248 - fix-it, War AU - complete』

Anamnesis - 31,097 - pt 1

When Jazz and his team are lost on a mission, Prowl has to carry on alone. But a discovery a thousand vorn later could turn his life upside down again.

2. The Ghost of the Howling Plains, 3. Pulling Strings

*Super interesting sorta-kinda-fix-it fic and/or explanation for the events and characterizations in IDW. There are 3 stories in the main JP plot line. Bonus: there's 2 "Extras" fics for cut scenes from the main fics.

༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻༺♡༻

Crystal Ghosts Series by Rizobact

『(2/2) - ao3 - Words: 85,688 - Fantasy AU - complete - ⟲』

Enduring as Crystal - 40,517 - pt 1

There were a lot of reasons Prowl visited the library. He never knew the most important one was waiting for him in the garden behind it.

Eternal as Love - 45,171 - pt 2

Prowl promised he would help Jazz, the ghost of the crystal chapel in the garden behind Praxus' central library. He just couldn't anticipate what shape that help would wind up taking.

*Another super unique premise! I love a good historical mystery and the imagery is specularly evocative! And I'm a sucker for the trope... which I can't reveal, because of spoilers.

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Untitled Series by Vaeru

『(2/2) - ffn - Words: 10,766 - War AU - complete - ❞』

Descant - 7,925 - pt 2

G1/Jux compliant. Requiem sequel. Prowl doubted that his desired image of Respected Superior Officer came across very well with a half-scrapped mech clinging to his hand, but he loomed as best as he was able and glared.

*Requiem is Jazz-centric and I'd say more of a prequel to Descant than Descant is a sequel to Requiem... if that makes any sense. Regardless of how you view it or what order you read it, it's fucking brutal. (-‿-“) Bonus: author also wrote another really great fic called Transformers: Juxtaposition which is Lambo twin-centric and OC-centric, but perhaps one of the only OC fics that I've ever enjoyed.

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Domino Milkshake by SilenceoftheLlamas

『oneshot - (1/?) - ao3 - Words: 24,886 - War AU - complete - ❞』

Jazz drunkenly pretends that he's dating Prowl. Only he isn't, and the mech is right behind him.

*It's a fake dating AU... what more can I say? I love the the begrudging developing romance and the meddling friends. Bonus: it's got fanart!

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Hunter's Spark by WandersUnderStarlight

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 43,645 - Alt-War AU - ❞』

Jazz disobeys orders to abandon the ruins of Praxus and runs into one of the Senate's dirty secrets.

*This author also has a few more JP fics that I enjoy like An Offer He Can't Refuse and Long Patrol. I gotta offer aisclaimer though: the fics are... fairly cliche and a bit OOC. Hunter's Spark is much more tame than the other two, though. They're all sorta a guilty pleasure of mine, because it's fun to enjoy Prowl being a bit of a BAMF and Jazz being a bit of a damsel on occasion even if objectively I understand why it's not everyone's cup of tea. ("￣▽￣";)ゞ But the author definitely deserves credit for creative and entertaining premises and a really nice writing style!

༺☆★☆★☆★-ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ-★☆ ★☆★☆༻

༺General༻

Little Brother by Meiza

『oneshot - ffn - Words: 64,542 - War AU - discontinued』

Prowl is infamous for being a logical, nigh emotionaless thinker who's better at battle calculations than interpersonal relationships. How he was roped into taking care of the last survivor of Praxus is anyone's guess.

*Prowl & Bluestreak centric, but Jazz has a solid amount of screentime. The subplot is pre-relationship, co-parenting JazzProwl and it's cute as hell. It's not 'officially' discontinued, but it hasn't been updated since 2010... so... At least it doesn't end in a cliffhanger. (╥﹏╥|||)

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Things We Don't Tell Humans by SineadRivka

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 363,057 - Bayverse War AU - complete』

This was a first for us Autobots; never before have we come in contact with a species like these humans, so eerily similar to our own race and twice as tenacious as Sparklings. The question was, how far can we trust the humans with our culture? Some things have translated between cultures without much effort. Other subjects, however…

*Please note the tags! Also... I'll be honest that I mostly skip to the JP parts and main plot points in this fic as it's about a very ensemble cast and I'm not interested in TF humans ... so I can't entirely vouch for the integrity of the whole thing. (￢ω￢;)

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Echoes of Messatine by MlleMusketeer

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 303,863 - Alt-War AU - complete - ▾ 』

Cybertron hurtles toward war, and only a handful of mecha see it. Not Megatron, whose inflammatory writings gain him agonizing attention from those on high. Not Ratchet, the Iacon Medical Center’s most prized practitioner, whose Dead-End clinic remains the worst-guarded secret on Cybertron. Not Overlord, whose iron hold over Cybertron’s underworld is beginning to falter. Not Orion Pax, whose concern over the sudden silence of one of his favorite writers drives him to take up his hero’s pen. Not Terminus, who only wants to survive. But Trepan and Senator Shockwave both know well what’s coming. One aims to use a defiant miner’s fall to crush the aspirations of the masses. The other wants to use that miner’s triumph to ignite them. Neither much cares about Megatron himself, or his ultimate survival. Therein lies their fatal error.

*Not clear from the summary, but the premise is essentially "what if Megatron got the matrix instead of OP" and how their pre-war lives would have to pan out for them to ultimately switch roles. Just a really fascinating, supremely well-done "what-if" fic, but also probably the weirdest one to put on this particular list, b/c JP turns into megatron/JP at the very, very end... but... I just kinda ignore that development since it happens in like almost literally in the last chapter and you can def read it as friendship up until that point... (¬⤙¬ ᵕ)

༺☓○☓○☓○☓○-ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ-☓○☓○☓○☓○༻

༺Mature༻

*listen... don't @ me. They're definitely saucy, but they're not explicit. Yada, yada... hey minors, don't read these! ...But we all know you will so just don't talk to me or anyone else about it, cool? Cool. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

Intermission by crabapplered

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 5,049 - War AU - complete - ▾』

As the war stretched on for interminable vorn, Prowl found himself faced time and again with the mounting stress of his position. Many of those times he was forced to face alone, the gear grinding stress sending him to Ratchet for system overhauls and forced defrags. But every so often he'd be fortunate enough to have Jazz on hand, and when he did, well, it didn't take much. Pressing Jazz up against the wall, cramming him into corners, pinning him facedown over Prowl's desk. It didn't matter as long he could keep Jazz still.

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Audition by crabapplered

『oneshot - ao3 - Words: 12,783 - War AU - complete - ▾』

If one were to be delicate, one would say that Jazz and Prowl are incompatible. The blunt truth? 'You just lie there with this blank expression on your face,' he'd been told by his last partner. Signal had stayed longer then most, willing to try since Prowl was so obviously doing his best, interfacing to please his partner and give him what Prowl himself disliked. In the end, though, it hadn't worked. 'You don't like me touching you, you don't like the mess, you don't even like the overload, and half the time I swear you're running economic simulations in your CPU you look that bored. I don't want that. I don't want you miserable, and I don't want me miserable, either.' So why can't Prowl stop wishing?

༺♡❦♡❦♡❦♡ -ˋˏ ♫ ♡ 𓆩𓆪 ˎˊ- ♡❦♡❦♡❦♡༻

That's all, folks.

ദ്ദി(｡•̀ω-)✧ ~Happy reading!

and for the shit tumblr search/tag system, i offer: #jazzprowl #jazzprowl recs #jazz x prowl #jazzprowl fic recs #jazzprowl fanfic recs #tansformers fic recs #tf jazzprowl #tf fic recs

[chasholidays]

we're back baybee

Hello friends! After a few years' hiatus, I'm going to once again take prompts for holiday fills. If you're new here, here's how it works.

You and some number of other people fill out THIS GOOGLE FORM

I receive all the responses and close the form on OCTOBER 4 2024 AT 8 AM EASTERN TIME

I use a variety of methods (personal bias, random number generator, chicken innards, etc) to pick from the submitted prompts and get a selection that I feel confident I can complete

On December 1, I will start posting! The fills we be posted by @chasholidays on tumblr and also uploaded to AO3

My planned posting schedule is that I will post TWO fics each weekend day (eighteen fics total) and ONE fic per weekday (twenty-two fics total) for a total of FORTY FICS over the month of December. Depending on how I'm feeling and how many prompts I get, I might decide to do more! But I'm going to commit to 40 minimum and go from there.

For many reasons, I'm not planning to tell people in advance if their fics have been selected or not. So in December, you will either see your fic posted or not, and it will be a surprise! If your prompt isn't selected, I hope another prompt will be something you're excited about

Because I am a human person with feelings, I will give some number of slots to my friends/mutuals without putting them through the RNG. Just FYI

The other thing I want to address is that this year, for the first time in a while, I'm letting fandoms be a free-for-all in terms of prompting! I'm going to have some specific information for my three biggest fandoms from my poll (The 100, 9-1-1, Tortall), but there's also going to be a free response form where you can shoot your shot on basically anything you want. Unlike the big three fandoms, I won't try to make promises about getting a representative sample from the other fandoms, and I'm also going to be more willing to just knock out prompts that don't catch my interest. I think of the other fandom option as high risk/high reward; I might bounce off the prompt completely, but if it tickles my fancy, you'll go directly into the fill pool without having to brave the RNG.

Okay god this is already so long but this is the LAST THING. As is tradition, I'm also offering alternate POV fics and continuations, which I used to call timestamps but that terminology has fallen out of favor and no one knew what I meant so I'm retiring it. Basically, this is an alternate perspective of or a sequel/prequel/some kind of continuation to a fic or series I've already written. You can pick from anything I have on AO3. These will be have their own forms, so if you want one of these, you won't pick a fandom, just provide a link to the story in question and provide some additional info.

Oh and this is one entry per person. If you submit multiple I'll take the first and delete the others, and if you submit too many I'll delete the first one too tbh.

tl;dr: here's the google form again

submit your prompt by 10/4/2024; send asks to @ponyregrets if you have them

[maythearo]

I kinda accidentally been away :(

When I take a hiatus you'll see I don't announce it beforehand because it usually just happens instead of being a planned thing, so I apologize if I made people worry about me (again) but I'm doing fine! A plethora of things happened in the time being, and I feel like it's relevant to mention them here for some clarity. (I didn't intend to make this post so long, I'll crop here so it's easier to navigate)

First I feel like I have been falling out of love with art as a whole. My interest in a lot of stuff has been fading away, I haven't been keeping up with twst for one, and since a lot of my inspiration comes from the stuff I'm hyperfixating on I barely have been creating anything. My uni assigments so far were uninspired at best lol it sucks my mood relies so much on art and vice versa. The only times I feel actual joy is when I'm hanging out with my friends every now and then, I'm mostly alone through the rest of the week.

And it's with this habit of going out that I fluctuated towards using less social media. I don't think I ever liked having a presence online, and that's something I've been doing since highschool for no reason that matters to me anymore. Just quitting isn't something I can do because first, I think it's important getting my news from it; and second, I still want to do commissions, and I'm aiming to turn my socials into something more professional in the near future, rather than the life diary that I had a tendency of building them as. Of course there's nothing wrong with making socials a personal thing, it's just not my style, and with my anxiety of being perceived I realized I can only handle so much of it lol

I also had some personal losses, and it feels like a lot of people around me were having a hard time with theirs coincidentally, so that made me kinda sad too. I won't specify much but I think that's worth mentioning.

The tldr is that I'm lost, I don't know how I got here, and I feel like it only gets worse the longer I stand around doing nothing but I prefer to think that sometimes things get worse before they get better, I know they will get better.

I'm writing all of this from the perspective of how I feel at the moment, the conclusions I'm taking with this kinda depressive state of mind, so I imagine things can still change once I begin to feel brighter again, who knows.

Thank you for everyone who left kind messages on my askbox after all this time, idk if I can reply to all individually but I did read them and I appreciate them very much! I hope everyone is doing well too and staying safe.

And on a side note I'm sorry to the people who asked other things related to my art/blog way before I took this break, I wanted to answer them in a fun way but they've gathered too much dust by now and my inspiration is long gone. I think I'll be cleaning up my askbox since the longer I leave it unnatended the more overwhelmed it makes me feel 😥 I messed it up this time I admit, I apologize again to everyone I kept waiting.

I have a few old drawings I haven't shared here yet, maybe I'll post them if I manage to remember it :)

[haveyouheardthisband]

obscure bands and where to listen to them, part 2

Follow-up to [this post].

Here I'll go over five artists whose polls got an extremely low amount of "yes" votes, plug where you can listen to them, etc.

If you're a fan of one of these artists and I got anything wrong or you have anything to add, please send an ask!

Long post ahead.

-

PALMSY

Genres: Indie Pop, Jangle Pop, Bedroom Pop 10 out of 2,375 voters have listened to them. (0.4%)

Self-described as such: "Bedroom songs from the Netherlands. Feel-good sunny energy, jangly indie pop and the breezy energy of pop-punk." Their website (in Dutch) says they're influenced by artists such as Bombay Bicycle Club, Darwin Deez, Little Comets, and The Wombats. Released one EP in 2017 and seems to have been inactive since, but two members went on to form the band Banji.

Apple Music Soundcloud Spotify YouTube (official) YouTube (auto-generated)

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Clay J Gladstone

Genres: Pop Punk, Punk Rock 12 out of 2,495 voters have listened to them. (0.5%)

Australian. "Emo punk outfit Clay J Gladstone was formed in 2020, comprised of current and former members of powerhouses Resist the Thought, Caulfield, and Buried in Verona." Released one album and some singles in 2021-2022, but they're still active and playing shows! Apparently one of their guitarists got his equipment stolen recently but they were able to fundraise enough money to replace it so yay :)

Apple Music Bandcamp Soundcloud Spotify YouTube (official) YouTube (auto-generated)

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Radiation 4

Genres: Avant-Garde Metal, Mathcore 10 out of 2,314 voters have listened to them. (0.4%)

Los Angeles-based experimental metal band that dressed in lab coats and glasses for their live performances. Their MySpace listed their influences as "Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Tom Waits, Mr Bungle, Botch..the list goes on." (IMO, the vocals especially are VERY Mike Patton-ish.) Released an EP in 2001 and an album in 2003, then went on hiatus in 2007 (though the vocalist uploaded some of their stuff to Bandcamp in 2022-2023?) Here's a fairly recent interview with the vocalist.

Bandcamp Here are unofficial YouTube uploads of Radiation 4 (2001 EP) and Wonderland (2003 album), which aren't on the Bandcamp, or anywhere else that I can find. ...Also, I finally found a copy of the album art for Wonderland that isn't JPEG'd into oblivion.

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LightGuides

Genres: Pop Rock, Indie Rock, Math Rock 4 out of 2,158 voters have listened to them. (0.2%)

Self-proclaimed "Glaswegian pop-punk samba legends" (they aren't really samba though...) previously known as We Hung Your Leader. According to their old website, their influences included Jimmy Eat World, Alexisonfire, Brand New, and The Get Up Kids. Released two "mini-albums" between 2010 and 2011, and ceased posting on social media around 2017. Here's an interview (from shortly before the release of their second album) if you want to know more!

Apple Music Soundcloud Spotify YouTube (official) YouTube (auto-generated)

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Tribraco

Genres: Jazz-Rock, Avant-Prog, Progressive Rock 12 out of 2,534 voters have listened to them. (0.5%)

Italian instrumental jazz-rock band, formed in Rome in 2004 initially as a trio but then grew to a quartet. Their MySpace listed such influences as John Zorn, Frank Zappa, Igor Stravinsky, and Fred Frith. Released two albums, one in 2008 and one in 2010. (...there's not much else I could find about them!)

Apple Music Spotify YouTube (official) YouTube (auto-generated)