#so this is def something where i would love input from people with relevant lived experience!

[trans-axolotl]

for anon asking about NPD/ASPD resources

For context, anon sent in an ask searching for nonstigmatizing resources for support with PD diagnoses and other stigmatized diagnoses.

And this is such a good ask--it is so fucking frustrating and dehumanizing to try to search for support when half the stuff that pops up is using really cruel language or just directed towards family and friends. The community definitely deserves better, both when it comes to the way psych professionals perpetuate stigma and in regards to the prejudice and sanism that shows up in other communities in our lives. Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of resources on hand, although I do know one good support group. The rest of the resources I know of are kind of mediocre or not PD specific, so if other people could add on I would really, really appreciate it!

Neuromancers runs a discord and a Cluster B peer support group that I've heard really good things about. I haven't been myself, so I can't 100 % vouch, but they're a group with abolitionist and mad pride values.

This might not be exactly what you're looking for, but it's an article exploring cultural bias in PD diagnosis that links to a lot of sources that talk about how psychiatry contributes to stigma around personality disorders. I clicked through some of the studies that it links to and it does use a lot of medicalized language, but I thought I would link the article anyway in case it's ever helpful to have academic sources to show to other people.

Also not exactly what you're looking for, but another article debunking some of the common talking points about NPD in pop psychology (Content warning that it is discussing some very ableist myths in the context of challenging them)

Last sort of general resources for peer support that I have some trust that they are PD friendly are the Wildflower Alliance and Hearing Voices Network Groups. Wildflower alliance groups offer a lot of different general peer support and I have one friend with NPD who has spoken positively of those spaces. Hearing Voices Network groups can vary a lot depending on location, so defintely plan to email ahead, but I've been to a few groups that welcome people who generally identify as psych survivors/mad/ex patients who want to share community spaces around those values. Also want to share is the neurodivergent friendly workbook of DBT skills (the link is to buy it directly from the creator but if anyone who is interested can't afford it rn, dm me and I'll send you a pdf.) Again, I know this is really not super relevant to what you asked for but is one of the less stigmatizing, less medicalizing workbooks I can find for accessing info about coping skills and this is one of my general favorite support resources.

Overall I'm really sorry that I don't have better resources to offer you, and I think that really should be a sign to the mad pride/psych abolition/peer support community that we need to do a lot better job in making sure that our spaces are explicitly welcome to people with stigmatized PD diagnoses. The work shouldn't have to be on you to try to navigate these spaces and figure out whether or not you're welcome, and any spaces that offer peer support, are aligned with mad pride and psych abolition, really should be doing the work to make sure lateral violence and sanism aren't being perpetuated.

followers, esp followers with lived experience, please add on!

[noctomania]

It's not about you...

Some people are hell bent on assuming that if they don't personally benefit from something, then that makes that something bad or wrong.

Yes, this is about the scripts for social interactions. Yes I'm still perturbed by the responses.

Truly do not understand why people are adamant about claiming the scripts are bad. I've been keeping an eye on response to the most recent as well as the older one. Mixed responses. Why?

Because people who it is not designed for are weighing in on it as if it was made for them.

"i have anxiety and I think this script is awful!"

Well i also have anxiety and i think it's great. I used to use a script at a job i worked at bc i struggle a lot with being on the phone and this job required a lot of that. I used the same script every day and guess what, i sometimes modified it! That's the beauty of it, you can mold it to fit your needs.

My coworkers noticed and mentioned how i practically went into character on the phone and it was because i was performing the script. It's the best way for me to overcome my anxiety of being on the phone. In fact, i perform a lot. Mostly to appease those who don't like seeing the result of my anxiety in my words or on my face. There is a lot of acting many of us have to do to appease those not like us. I know black folk been there done that for literally centuries.

"but that's work, not social interactions with friends!"

Pssst Ive used scripts with friends too dont tell them

And guess what! You probably have too!!

"hey how are ya?"

"im good you?"

"good"

Aside from all that, these scripts have most abundantly been supported by those who are autistic. Now here's a tough point and where i think a good portion of the contention lives: autistic people and people with anxiety have quite a lot in common bc it's quite common for autistic people to also have some form of anxiety. Which is unsurprising when to come to understand how difficult it is simply to exist as neurodiverse in a NT coded world.

The script is def more useful i think broadly to autistic people. And those are the people I've seen supporting it most and it is anxious people I've seen attack it most. So what's happening here?

My thoughts are that bc autistic people and anxious people often share the same spaces, we are all part of the web that has this discourse going. Even if you aren't a part of the convo you probably heard about it if you run in these circles.

But yanno, i hear about a lotta things in the circles. In fact, that was the point of putting myself in these circles to learn more about people i am both similar to and very different from. I've learned about fidgeting and flapping and what it's like to experience sensory overload as an autistic person and I've learned about spoons. None of that is really relevant to me (except perhaps in part the sensory overload and even then it looks different for me) but i don't go criticizing it. It shows up on my TL, i assess whether i am the audience it's intended for, and if not i take it as useful education and go about my day.

I didn't attack fidget spinners for being distracting, or flapping as unnecessary or obnoxious, so why would i attack a script not meant for me?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, particularly if you are autistic or diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Feel free to anon your input! No hate, only curiosity 💜