#so this is def something where i would love input from people with relevant lived experience!

[trans-axolotl]

for anon asking about NPD/ASPD resources

For context, anon sent in an ask searching for nonstigmatizing resources for support with PD diagnoses and other stigmatized diagnoses.

And this is such a good ask--it is so fucking frustrating and dehumanizing to try to search for support when half the stuff that pops up is using really cruel language or just directed towards family and friends. The community definitely deserves better, both when it comes to the way psych professionals perpetuate stigma and in regards to the prejudice and sanism that shows up in other communities in our lives. Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of resources on hand, although I do know one good support group. The rest of the resources I know of are kind of mediocre or not PD specific, so if other people could add on I would really, really appreciate it!

Neuromancers runs a discord and a Cluster B peer support group that I've heard really good things about. I haven't been myself, so I can't 100 % vouch, but they're a group with abolitionist and mad pride values.

This might not be exactly what you're looking for, but it's an article exploring cultural bias in PD diagnosis that links to a lot of sources that talk about how psychiatry contributes to stigma around personality disorders. I clicked through some of the studies that it links to and it does use a lot of medicalized language, but I thought I would link the article anyway in case it's ever helpful to have academic sources to show to other people.

Also not exactly what you're looking for, but another article debunking some of the common talking points about NPD in pop psychology (Content warning that it is discussing some very ableist myths in the context of challenging them)

Last sort of general resources for peer support that I have some trust that they are PD friendly are the Wildflower Alliance and Hearing Voices Network Groups. Wildflower alliance groups offer a lot of different general peer support and I have one friend with NPD who has spoken positively of those spaces. Hearing Voices Network groups can vary a lot depending on location, so defintely plan to email ahead, but I've been to a few groups that welcome people who generally identify as psych survivors/mad/ex patients who want to share community spaces around those values. Also want to share is the neurodivergent friendly workbook of DBT skills (the link is to buy it directly from the creator but if anyone who is interested can't afford it rn, dm me and I'll send you a pdf.) Again, I know this is really not super relevant to what you asked for but is one of the less stigmatizing, less medicalizing workbooks I can find for accessing info about coping skills and this is one of my general favorite support resources.

Overall I'm really sorry that I don't have better resources to offer you, and I think that really should be a sign to the mad pride/psych abolition/peer support community that we need to do a lot better job in making sure that our spaces are explicitly welcome to people with stigmatized PD diagnoses. The work shouldn't have to be on you to try to navigate these spaces and figure out whether or not you're welcome, and any spaces that offer peer support, are aligned with mad pride and psych abolition, really should be doing the work to make sure lateral violence and sanism aren't being perpetuated.

followers, esp followers with lived experience, please add on!

[gremlinaristocrat]

A list of several things Polyta doesn’t do while making the choice to abandon Jiro:

Try to get Sunny’s input (you know, that person who demonstrates unique insight into Jiro’s mental state, and who must still be within shouting distance since you heard the Bastard’s monologue) or rescue her (depending on how that girder angled as it fell you might not even have to reach her, just pop the portal horizontally instead of vertically and hope the kinetic energy from Sunny’s fall into it doesn’t lead to her being splattered across a palm tree)

Leave Mercy some healing potions in exchange for the guns (they’re miracles to her, and if you’re about to conclude the mission it’s not like you need them), or try to recruit her (you’re short on manpower, and the Major would probably get a kick out of having something to protect again), or leave any kind of physical evidence your adventure with her wasn’t just a psychotic break (she jumped to “guilt-induced hallucination” when faced with something she couldn’t understand, a keepsake could do a lot for this lady’s sanity).

Question whether an eldritch bloodangel bapy and a crazed serial killer with a visible head wound are really your best sources of life advice.

Agree in principle, resolve to use the Bottled Homecoming whenever you’re next in trouble, but keep trying to save your allies for as long as it doesn’t have unavoidable costs for you. (You’re not in immediate danger, the Bastard left chasing Jiro! There’s no downside to giving yourself five more minutes to figure something out!)

Consider whether the people you’re returning in order to lead will still accept your leadership after surrendering their shared crush to the lizardbirb imperialists and the Nightmare Gargoyle. (Or whether they’ll even trust your version of events, given how surprising Jiro’s actions were, and the fact you’re the only witness to the fate of your main competitor for said leadership.)

Pictured: what Casandra will probably be imagining after hearing your story.

. . . I mean, Poly-sama probably even made the """right""" decision based on what she knew (though there’s a lot of strategically relevant stuff that’s happened on the island which could make her look and/or feel like a clown and/or monster when she gets caught back up). But this kid is so profoundly BAD at being heartless that for her the best consequences are legit more likely to come from “abandon Consequentialism, just stick to Principles and Virtues”. (c.f. a couple pages ago when she tried to make the Hard But Necessary Decision™ to abandon an ally and betray a protector so she and her love interest would be free to . . . launch themselves into the Lake of Searing Flame?)

To sum up, this is a very clever depiction of a character being a very specific and sympathetic kind of stupid. It’s like she’s shut part of her brain off (which is exactly what happened, she’s committed to doing something her entire personality is against, of course she’ll self-sabotage, of course she won’t be able to dispassionately analyze how to get the best return on her sin-vestment), it’s like she’s convinced herself that because she’s making a sacrifice and going against her moral code the universe owes her a win (I’d say that’s symptomatic of living in a decently-polished strategy game where every downside is paired with an upside – if the unit has higher ATK for the same cost that means it has lower SPD and/or DEF, if you violate your morals in the name of your island then that means your island will be better off - but actually I’m pretty sure real people think like this a lot), and more than anything, it’s like she’s a traumatized teenager doing her best (we never heard what happened to the rest of her Love Battalion, did we?) and letting a stressful situation force her to miss out on like a dozen Pareto improvements to her strategy.

UPDATE!

Read Foreach from the beginning HERE.

Keep up to date! Join the Discord here!

[noctomania]

It's not about you...

Some people are hell bent on assuming that if they don't personally benefit from something, then that makes that something bad or wrong.

Yes, this is about the scripts for social interactions. Yes I'm still perturbed by the responses.

Truly do not understand why people are adamant about claiming the scripts are bad. I've been keeping an eye on response to the most recent as well as the older one. Mixed responses. Why?

Because people who it is not designed for are weighing in on it as if it was made for them.

"i have anxiety and I think this script is awful!"

Well i also have anxiety and i think it's great. I used to use a script at a job i worked at bc i struggle a lot with being on the phone and this job required a lot of that. I used the same script every day and guess what, i sometimes modified it! That's the beauty of it, you can mold it to fit your needs.

My coworkers noticed and mentioned how i practically went into character on the phone and it was because i was performing the script. It's the best way for me to overcome my anxiety of being on the phone. In fact, i perform a lot. Mostly to appease those who don't like seeing the result of my anxiety in my words or on my face. There is a lot of acting many of us have to do to appease those not like us. I know black folk been there done that for literally centuries.

"but that's work, not social interactions with friends!"

Pssst Ive used scripts with friends too dont tell them

And guess what! You probably have too!!

"hey how are ya?"

"im good you?"

"good"

Aside from all that, these scripts have most abundantly been supported by those who are autistic. Now here's a tough point and where i think a good portion of the contention lives: autistic people and people with anxiety have quite a lot in common bc it's quite common for autistic people to also have some form of anxiety. Which is unsurprising when to come to understand how difficult it is simply to exist as neurodiverse in a NT coded world.

The script is def more useful i think broadly to autistic people. And those are the people I've seen supporting it most and it is anxious people I've seen attack it most. So what's happening here?

My thoughts are that bc autistic people and anxious people often share the same spaces, we are all part of the web that has this discourse going. Even if you aren't a part of the convo you probably heard about it if you run in these circles.

But yanno, i hear about a lotta things in the circles. In fact, that was the point of putting myself in these circles to learn more about people i am both similar to and very different from. I've learned about fidgeting and flapping and what it's like to experience sensory overload as an autistic person and I've learned about spoons. None of that is really relevant to me (except perhaps in part the sensory overload and even then it looks different for me) but i don't go criticizing it. It shows up on my TL, i assess whether i am the audience it's intended for, and if not i take it as useful education and go about my day.

I didn't attack fidget spinners for being distracting, or flapping as unnecessary or obnoxious, so why would i attack a script not meant for me?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, particularly if you are autistic or diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Feel free to anon your input! No hate, only curiosity 💜