#so this guy is just made from left over fleece. which I still have too much of

[devicecontact]

Following the logic Toby uses when deciding who gets merch or not, I think that this guy will not get a plush so I made my own. He’s got critters and a bell in his head for fun.

[pbandjesse]

I just finished up my ceramics class. And it was a lot of fun! I did cut myself on some glaze almost as soon as I got there and the blood was welling up very badly from my one finger but I put a Band-Aid on and I was okay.

Today was a lot of fun honestly. Kind of like a low low key day. But not a bad one. I did get stuff done even if it wasn't a ton of things. It was a nice time.

I slept all right last night. But I woke up very cold and had trouble falling back asleep because I was so cold. And then when I woke up at 7:15 I went and got washed up and dressed and I really liked my outfit today and I was perfectly cozy. Wearing a long sleeve shirt under this jumpsuit I think is going to be a staple this year. And I really love this fleece because it's so long. I can wear it basically like a dress.

James had packed me a very good snack and breakfast and lunch. And they collected all the trash before we were leaving the house. I will go down first because they said they needed a minute but then I realized I forgot all my rings upstairs so I backtracked and we got to leave together still.

We talk outside for a minute before they left and got a smooch which was very nice. And then I drove into work. And it was a fine drive. Nothing exciting happened. It is always interesting to see which exit is going to be the one where everybody else is and then all of a sudden I'm alone. And I have a pretty quiet drive to camp.

It was already very cold when I left the house today but it was like 15° colder at camp. It was 21° this morning. Crazy. Thankfully I had worn my fluffy boots and my layers kept me nice and toasty for most of the day.

Honestly at times I was too warm. But for the majority I was the perfect temperature.

No one came to work for a very long time. I felt like I was alone for so long. I got there at 8:00 and would have my breakfast while I worked on finishing up a couple things inside of the schedule that needed to be fixed. But mostly it was just some finishing work. It's not totally done and I still have everyone else to look over it before I can say that it is ready for next summer. But I'm really pleased with the progress and I fel t com to share it with everybody else.

I would also work on some feeding tonight. These are actually probably going to be Christmas gifts but it's also practice for teaching the TVs how to do feeding next summer. And some practice for different directions so that I can have a better handle on showing some adults how to do it. I'm just doing random rainbows right now but I would like to do some actual imagery. And in the coming weeks I hope to practice that.

But work on that for a lot of today. When I wasn't poking around on my schedule or thinking about programming stuff. And I was just having a nice time chilling in the office. It was warm in there and I sex and was watching a video and it was really good.

Sarah would come in a little before 10:00 and she was the first one but pretty quickly after that other people started to come in. Elizabeth and Alexi. Heather stayed home today to work on something there. And then after talking with Sarah and Elizabeth we kind of made a plan for what we would do for the rest of the day.

Elizabeth is in the middle of moving and she would leave early so that she could go work on packing. Not as early as she had planned because she got distracted by talking to us. But in the meantime she had a couple emails to send and a couple things to get ready for tomorrow's field trip. Me and Sarah were going to go set up the lodge for our group and do a couple odds and ends around camp. Alexi had a tour with a day camp not too far from here and they would come and we would all have a very long discussion with them and they were really cool. Really interested in the way that we do camp and also we were really interested in the way they do camp. I'm glad that we can have these interesting collaborations of ideas. And they seem like really chill guys.

Me and Sarah would head over to the lodge and set up all the tables. It's pretty big group so we're having all 13 tables set up but we would be pretty efficient so it didn't take too long. And then we walked back towards the office and I peeled off to go to the art building.

I have a bunch of stuff I should be putting away but I just don't want to It's too cold. So I set out some paper on the table for tomorrow and put a couple things to the side and then I grabbed the wooden box that I hope to use for the market that I found. And carry that down to the car.

When I got back down to the office I continued my bead work. I would stop and have a discussion with Alexi for a bit about the tour that she just had and some ideas for stuff that I can work on. I think she's worried that I'm going to be upset that they don't use my designs in the first draft. They can tell me to change things in a million times I literally do not care. I'm having fun designing them but I'm not going to be heartbroken if we need to change something. Not a big deal at all. And it was just a funny conversation because I think she was worried about hurting my feelings and I'm like you are not hurting my feelings that is fine. They're all living documents and we can continue to change them.

Around 2:00 I went for a walk and went down to the Glen to work on my bug snug. And I got the structure and I'm starting to fill it but there's not enough dry leaves around the Glen. Everything is too wet. So I think tomorrow I'm going to get a bag and fill it with leaves from somewhere else and bring them over. I would also like to get some more like smaller sticks and grasses but for now at least I have something done and I work on that for about an hour. Just kind of traipsing through the woods and looking for loose sticks and trying not to disturb too many covered areas so that the bugs and things that are overwintering there already are disturbed. I did find some snail eggs which was neat and just listen to music and had a nice time.

Speaking of music Spotify rap came out today and mine made me laugh because it was very expected. But it was also just Very funny to hear about everybody else's. Me and James's were pretty similar in taste. Justice was a little bit different and more poppy. Elizabeth was ruined by listening to sleep soundtracks. And Sarah's was way more Taylor Swift than I was expecting. But I really love Spotify rap and it was really cool to see what you listen to all year and get that little trailer that they make for you. It makes you feel seen and that's really nice.

for the last hour or so of work I just worked on my beating and worked on blanket stitching the edges of my little ornaments. I'm hoping to make a bunch. I plan is to get some more felt from home tonight so I'll have it tomorrow so I can work on it. But it's not a rush. It's still November. And it's also today my mom's birthday! Speaking of the end of November.

I love my mom so much and I wanted to make sure that I said happy birthday to her as soon as I get to work so I wouldn't forget. I took a picture of her birthday page in my birthday book and have been thinking about her all day and I hope that she had a good birthday. I love her very very much. She's a great mom. The reviews are in and she got 100% on the mom raring score.

A little after 4:00 I got an email about the house that we put an offer in on. It was impending sale and it was not for the price that we had offered. So I could kind of assume we didn't get it. So I texted James and asked them to reach out to our realtor. And I'm not going to lie and say that I was in the best mind space. I was a little angry because I felt like we have been doing a lot of the work of trying to find places and I thought maybe he didn't get our offer in on time or something. But it turns out we were in the top two of the five offers that were put in on the house. And the reason that the other person succeeded in getting the house was because they agreed to buy the house without any inspections. That is so incredibly foolish. Like I get it because the market is crazy and everyone just is trying to get in and we probably would have bought the house no matter what the inspection would have said but it just sucks. And I'm not going to say I'm not upset about it. I'm sad. I kind of done the same thing I did with the last house you put an offer on and built it up in my head and how we would decorated and where things would go and I just love the second floor of that house so much. So I'm sad but we're going to look at other places and it will be okay. It's just not the right one right now. And honestly there was a lot of water issues in that house that we probably were not prepared to deal with and so we move on and that's all there is to it.

As the sun went down I was sitting and talking with Alexi and Sarah would say she was going to go get dinner before our class. Alexi told me that she went to school for advertising which I did not know. I knew she went to the law school so I just assumed she was pre-law but no she went to school for advertising and that's like that's really cool. And then I wrapped up what I was doing and headed out.

I went to 7-Eleven and got pizza and a donut. I would eat one piece of pizza before my class and one pizza pizza after my class and I think that was a good call because I never felt too exhausted. And I got to class around 5:30.

I do not enjoy the drive in the dark. It is too windy and too many chances for deers and the speed limit changes up and down or 25 to 55 and it's very bad and I don't enjoy it. But I got there safely and when I parked my car Sarah was there. But she said she was going to sit in her car for a while and eat before she came in.

So I went in without her and got to work looking for my finished pieces. I had a couple glazed pieces and a couple that needed to be glazed. Have a good little rotation of stuff. When I found my glazed pieces I had to pop one off that was stuck on a tile and I cut myself on the very sharp glass. And it bled a lot. But it was fine. And I'm really excited about some of my pieces and how I'm going to use them for gifts this year. What I'm going to keep. I have decided that I don't think we'll throwing is for me. I'm much prefer hand building and sculpting and stuff but I'm glad that I did it. And so today I decided that I wasn't going to throw anything I was just going to play with the clay.

And some of that was waxing the bottoms of pieces that are going to get glazed next week and some of that was trimming my bare pots from last week. Which I love and I think are so cool. And then I had some time and I decided at 7:00 I would spend the second half of class working on the rest of my clay because the idea was that today is the last day that you can make wet stuff. But then we decided as a group that we're going to bring in a bunch of cookie cutters for next week and we're going to use any of our leftover clay and we're going to make cookie cutter ornaments. I am so excited about making these ornaments. So I put a bunch of clay to the side and then I just used a couple good size balls and I made some interesting shaped pinch pots and two candle holders and I was just having a great time just making silly stuff.

I also just really enjoyed the conversations tonight. I had my voice back so that was nice. Chloe and I believe the other man's name is Chris, we're not there tonight because I'm assuming they were sick. But Sandy was back and she's really sweet and I always enjoy talking to Sarah and Lindsey. So we had some very interesting conversations talking about authors that we enjoy and books and shows art and different projects that we could do and it was just a really really nice time. I just felt like I had a little community tonight and it was really good.

I would finish up my last little piece of clay and made a very silly cat pot. Or bowl maybe. I'm not sure. But it was a lot of fun making it. And then I cleaned everything up and decided it was time to go.

I headed back out into the very cold world. And I'm almost home now. I am still a little sad about the house. But we're hoping that we can go see something else this weekend and keep moving forward. I'm excited to go see my husband and wash my hair and go to sleep. Tomorrow we have a field trip and it's going to be a pretty quick one only being about 2 hours. And then I hope to work on my behind bug snug and who knows what else the day will hold. But I hope it is a good one. Good night everybody. Until next time.

[smileymoth]

it hurts so bad when he is on his own but then when he tries to fix it and it gets even worse because he can not fucking control himself. is he asleep, is he awake, no one knows. he's suffocating in his own grief and agony of self deprication and probably a coctail of meds. AND THE WAY HE DELIVERS those three last lines.... girl i'm kissing you on the mouth its so raw and out there from the rest of the opening of the song... that night the screaming hurt because it didn't come from him, it was someone else for once

"we find each other under blankets as warm as summer" is such a EASY lyric and it even rhymes so it's not even that rythmically complex, but the way he delivers it in the song makes me ascend into heaven forever and ever. as warm as summer. come on now... it makes summer warmth seem so comfortable even if it isn't (for me, anyway), is this the point? to make something so uncomfortably warm seem so heavenly??? am i the freak here who hates the sun??? (yes) "we are inseparable" INSEPARABLE. COME ON. AND YOU HAD TO RUIN IT.... the echo of the singing also sends shivers through my brain. it's somewhere far away from you but yet close because otherwise you wouldn't be hearing it... just like a dream, so clear yet distorted

this guy is describing a corpse like i an art student explain a still life painting. "we made it that way" shifting the blame. it was y o u who did it, not we. who is we. you killed them and now you are removing yourself from the situation because this is fine, it's all fine. it's just for the influence, an artist needs inspiration. they have more songs about death and inspiration... im so insane about this band. he's not grasping the situation, he thinks he's still falling in his dream forever but no it's wrong, it's done, it's done forever. "This coma kiss is infinite" no reason i just really like that line. a fluid and intricate dream also insinuates the fact that he remembers it crystal clear....

he's repeating it again, it makes me think he's somewhat grasping the situation but still in complete denial because oh it was so beautiful, death can't be beautiful. i am thinking about a soft green fleece blanket that looks like moss for no reason. he wrapped her up, drowned her, as she was bleeding out trying to stop it so now the blanket is soaked, she was struggling so it got everywhere. now she was the one who was suffocating, not him. "wrapped up in her" he might've been too delusional to realise what he was doing until it was too far gone and he had to make it final so he could never get rid of her even in death, so he made them inseparable from each other because this way they will always be connected.

it all got the better of him, his love became violent and too much, he betrayed himself and her by giving in to his dream like state. he know's he's delusional, that he's better left alone, he trusted himself too much and it landed him here.

morning arrived, it's still so fuzzy in his head he can't grasp it, the same song will have been embedded into his brain, their song, the only thing he could've heard. it's inseparable from the situation now, just like he and her... but the aftermath is grotesque, the ripped out hair, the smell of copper that will never leave. she tried to get out, the hair in the phone cord indicates, but he wanted it all for himself, he couldn't have anyone else nearby. it was a nightmare afterall, which figure would she have called upon if he had let her... he didn't want to find out. but now it's over and perhaps he doesn't know what happened. it was a nightmare not real life. something is wrong, so so wrong, why isn't she moving, why is there blood everywhere. heartrate speeding up yet skipping beats from the fear. something's not right. the fact that the music cuts out before the last line makes me think that it finally clicked, this wasn't a dream afterall

@pikslasrce never call me a coward again <3

@theslyvoid9 tagging you because ive been talking about this stupid song for months now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! moss and all!!!!!

DREAMING BY BOYS NIGHT OUT maybe ill finally be normal avbout this (lying) heres sleep deprived rambles of a song i am obsessed with.....

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

heated, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: An (innocent?) conversation about D/s dynamics accidentally leads to you confessing that you think about your childhood best friend while getting off. To your childhood best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Erm. This is after he told you that you would be “an awful sub”, btw.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, discussions about adult topics; reader is bisexual; smut (fem reader, dry humping, fingering, [tiny bit] m-receiving oral, penetrative sex); fluffy af; non-idol!AU; F2L; softdom!Jungkook x softbrat!reader; you kind of have a forearm kink and you never let Jungkook have his lovey-dovey moment, whoops

MMA 2020 ‘ON’ Jungkook? Yeah. That one.

--

“I could never be a sub.”

You clicked rapidly as you spoke, mashing the right button on your mouse. It was quite loud, paired with your mechanical keyboard.

“Why not?”

The music coming from Jeon Jungkook’s smartphone was a rhythm game, nearly as loud as you, since he was grunting angrily at it. It was very obvious when he missed a beat.

“I can’t imagine that being me, you know?”

You, on the other hand, were on your computer, playing with the new items in League of Legends from the latest patch. Using the practice tool, you had loaded up your favorite champion, Jhin, the Virtuoso, and messed with various builds, trying to find the best combination. So far, Lethality was feeling pretty good.

“Like why would I ever let my pleasure be handled by someone else?” you mused, reading the high damage numbers of each shot. Oh, the fourth shot felt nice. “That sounds stupid.”

Jungkook rolled over on your bed, growling in his throat as the level ended. He restarted it, trying to get a better score. “Maybe people like to let go sometimes. You know, not always be in control.”

You snorted. “I could never trust someone else with my body.”

“You got an alien body or something?”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.”

“Fine.”

“Anyway,” Jungkook continued, ignoring your outburst. “I didn’t ask if you could be a sub, I just asked what you thought of domination and submission as a dynamic in general.”

You shrugged, trying to see if you could do Baron alone. Welp, you needed lifesteal, of course. “I mean, I’ve tried it in various situations. I was never the sub.”

“Kinky.”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.” Jungkook suddenly sat up, excited that he achieved a higher score. “Look, look. I got ninety-eight.”

You craned your head to look at his phone screen. “Why isn’t it one hundred? You’re a disgrace to this family.”

He bopped you on the nose with his phone. “If I was part of your family, your family would be even more dysfunctional than it is now.”

You rubbed your nose and looked up at him. “How much gel did you use in your hair? You look like a wet dog.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows went up and he touched his long black hair. “It’s not crunchy though.” He grabbed your hand and lowered his head, placing your palm on his slicked back hair. “See?”

You pulled your hand back, staring at your palm. “Still feels weird though. I call sorcery.”

He shrugged, creaking the black leather jacket he was wearing. He wore a black t-shirt under it. The black jeans he had been wearing were on your bed, swapped for the black joggers he kept at your place. You weren’t really sure why he left the jacket on. Maybe he was cold or something. It was pretty cold in your apartment. You were wearing fleece green pajamas with Pikachu all over them.

“You want me to turn the heat up?” you said, gesturing to his jacket.

Jungkook looked down at his chest. “Eh. It’s fine. Saves you money.”

You shrugged, getting up from your chair, leaving the League client open. “You’re only staying a little while, right? Party to go to and all that?”

Jungkook followed you as you left your room. “Told you it was cancelled, so I was just going to sleep over. No reason to go back home.”

You turned around, walking backwards. “When did you say it was cancelled?”

Jungkook raised his dark eyebrows. “Literally when I walked in your apartment.”

“Hah.”

You turned back around and went to your fridge, grabbing an aloe juice. Jungkook went to your water kettle, hunting for hot chocolate among your tea packets.

“You’d make an awful sub anyway,” Jungkook said, returning to the original subject as he filled the kettle with water from your filtered sink faucet. “Like, probably the fucking worst.”

You took a large swig and glared at him. “Alright, first of all, you wouldn’t even–”

“You’re terrible with authority.”

You paused. “Okay, true.”

“You’re angry, twenty-four, seven.”

You walked up to him and slapped him in his very hard pecs. He gestured at his chest, as if to indicate, exhibit A.

“And you’re super uptight.”

“I am not uptight.”

“Control freak.”

“That’s–”

Jungkook turned around and placed the kettle on its stand. You swooped in with a Pikachu-themed kitchen towel and wiped the excess water away, scowling. Jungkook raised his eyebrows at you, brown eyes laughing.

“That’s literally a safety hazard!” you exclaimed, waving the towel at him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and pressed the button to start heating the water. “Haven’t you ever just… not freaked out over every little thing? Done something spontaneous and stupid?”

You placed the kitchen towel back in its proper place. “No, because that would be spontaneous and stupid, Jeon Jungkook.”

He leaned against the counter, watching you perfectly fold the towel into three parts and hang it on the rail. He scratched his nose, shaking his head. “You should be more like me.”

“Having the police called on you because you were standing on a lawn chair tooting a party horn at four in the morning?”

“That was one time! Stop bringing it up,” Jungkook groaned.

You raised your hands in innocence. “Well, I was the one called to pick you up because you literally couldn’t remember any other number and I was very disturbed on New Year’s Eve, where I should have been peacefully sleeping and not hauling your drunk ass across town.”

Jungkook sighed exaggeratedly. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t drink that much again. Jimin made me do shots–”

“You always blame Park Jimin,” you interjected, smiling. “Jimin’s the kind of guy who only wears clothes to take them off.”

“Well, it gets him laid, so I guess it’s working.”

The kettle whistled noisily, cutting through the conversation. You took a sip from your aloe juice as Jungkook grabbed a mug from your cupboard and poured the hot chocolate powder into it.

“You want some milk?”

He looked up. “You have milk?”

You went to the fridge and took out a small carton. “Because you said you were coming.”

“Aw, what a sweetie.”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.”

That’s how it was with you two. Growing up together was the same conversation over and over of you constantly saying shut up and Jungkook always replying with no. If both your dads hadn’t been such good friends, you probably wouldn’t have been able to tolerate him. Since they were, you were forced to, which turned out to be okay, since it turned out you had similar interests in games and such. It drifted apart a bit when you two entered high school, but you two reconnected once university started.

The dysfunctionality Jungkook was referring to was your two older sisters, who both got pregnant out of wedlock and thus caused a lot of tension between them, your parents, and you, the one who hadn’t actually done that yet. And you were trying to keep it that way.

Jungkook poured half-water and half-milk, stirring it with a silver spoon he found in your drawer. You lived alone, having gotten a full scholarship to be able to pay for tuition, meals, and part of a small apartment. Your parents paid for the rest – another point of strain between you and your sisters. That’s why you kept your grades up and rarely went out.

“When was the last time you fucked a guy?”

You sucked the inside of your cheek. “Dunno. Maybe two years ago.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows and took a long sip. “So, only girls, huh?”

You tilted your head and sighed. “They don’t get you pregnant.”

“Neither does a condom.”

“That’s a ninety-eight percent chance, not one hundred.”

He licked the excess off his pink lips. He looked like he wanted to say something, but reconsidered, taking another sip before replying. “You don’t miss dick?”

“I mean, a dildo is a dick.”

Jungkook nearly spat out his hot chocolate. You snatched your Pikachu towel again and threatened him with it. He raised a hand, coughing.

“A dildo is not a dick,” he hacked out. “You insult me.”

“Hmph.” You turned back around and placed the Pikachu towel back in its place, making sure the graphic was perfectly centered.

“You tell your parents?”

You narrowed your eyes. ‘Why the fuck would I tell my parents that I fuck girls instead of guys to avoid getting pregnant?”

He shrugged. “Give them peace of mind?”

“You think too highly of the generation before us.”

Jungkook gave you a weird look. “So… you’re just using them?”

“No.” You paused. “Okay, maybe a little, but it’s not because they’re girls. I guess I haven’t found someone who understands me yet.”

He took a long, noisy sip of hot chocolate. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“No one can understand you if you only fuck once and drop them.”

“Wouldn’t you fucking know,” you replied irritably.

“Now, I fuck multiple times before I realize it’s not going to work out,” Jungkook countered.

You shoved your bottle of aloe juice back into your fridge. Suddenly, you weren’t thirsty anymore.

“Is that the only reason?”

You closed the fridge door.

“Reason for what?”

“Is fear of pregnancy the only reason you fuck girls?”

“I don’t know!” you shouted, throwing your hands up. You spun around, blowing hot air. “I don’t fucking know why I do it, Jungkook. I don’t know why I load up dating apps to only hook up with girls, I don’t know why I don’t try to get into relationships with them, I don’t know what is wrong with me and why I can’t give anyone a chance and I don’t know why you pop up in my head every time I try to fucking masturbate! It is annoying and I do not like it, so I try to get off with someone else!”

Your chest was heaving with exertion and annoyance, hand curled onto a fist and planted on your kitchen counter, glaring at the space past Jungkook’s head, muscle twitching in your cheek. Your heart was beating so fast it didn’t feel real.

Silence.

“Fuck you, Jungkook.”

And then you turned around, stalking back to your bedroom.

Or would have, if you didn’t hear the clink of the mug touching the kitchen counter and Jungkook grabbing your upper arm, yanking you back, slamming you against his muscular body. You hissed, staring into his chest.

“Let me go.”

“Hold on a second.” You watched Jungkook take a deep breath, his toned, tan skin rising and falling. The silver necklace on his collarbones flashed as he breathed. “Just hold on a damn second.”

Your eyes were on the low neckline of his black shirt. It felt weird being close to him. Not that you two haven’t been physically close, because you had. But it had never been like this. Since you realized he wouldn’t leave your mind every time you tried to masturbate. Since you started looking to other people to push him out. Since you were sure that it was not just a passing thought, not just your brain playing tricks on you. And being this close to him now, you understood.

And it scared you.

“You cannot dump all that on me and expect me not to react,” Jungkook said quietly.

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No,” he snapped. He grabbed both your upper arms and shook you violently, making you jerk your head up to blink at him. Jungkook furrowed his brows, his dark eyes glaring at you, jaw clenched tightly. “I will not shut up. Why should I shut up? I should shut you up.”

And then he kissed you.

Your eyes widened. Jungkook’s pink lips were on you. You. On your lips, pressed firmly against them, gripping you so tight you were losing feeling in your arms. You tore back, stumbling, touching your lips, shoulders shaking, not sure why your heart was beating out of your chest, not sure why your lips tingled and wanted more, not sure why Jungkook slowly opening his eyes and flickering to you made your knees knock together uncomfortably.

“What are you doing?” you sputtered. “You don’t even… what…?”

“I’m kissing you,” he growled, walking up to you and pinning you against the counter. “I’m fucking kissing you because you want me to.”

“I don’t…”

“Just shut up, please.”

And then Jungkook kissed you again, harder this time, pressing you against the kitchen counter, hands coming up and taking you by the waist, pulling you to him and his leather jacket, him and his black shirt, breathing your name into your lips, your hands grabbing his t-shirt and yanking him to you, gasping into his mouth. And you wanted to say, no, no, you weren’t supposed to know, but it was too late because you were shoving his leather jacket off, grasping his shoulders, fingers pressing into his hard muscles, sliding down his biceps.

You yanked your head back and his hand came up to grab it back, kissing you more, more, tongue licking your lips, hissing your name, grinding his hips against yours. Your hand came up in between you two, stopping him, stopping him and his insatiable lips.

“You have to s-say–” You moaned, feeling him harden against your fleece pajamas. “You have to say it.”

“Say what?” Jungkook muttered impatiently, kissing your hand, speaking into your palm.

“Say you’re okay with it,” you gritted out as he rolled his crotch into yours.

“Obviously I’m okay with it,” he grumbled. “Why else am I humping you in your kitchen?”

“You said I’m a c-control freak,” you groaned, throwing your head back as Jungkook slid his hands down to your ass and squeezed it, grinding against you.

“You are,” he grunted. “You can’t let go, you can’t enjoy yourself, you can’t even tell me you like me so I can fucking fuck you already, instead of me cancelling my parties so I can spend time laying on your bed and staring at you playing video games wondering when you’re going to fucking notice that I want to bang you.”

“What?” you replied breathlessly.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “You’re so busy controlling your own life that you don’t even notice the people around you anymore.”

“What?” you repeated again as Jungkook hoisted you up by your ass and began to walk, forcing you to grab him by the shoulders and stare down his right arm, the fully tattooed one with flowers and script and the tiny circle with angry slits for eyes and a frown on the inside of his elbow, the one Jungkook said was for you and you had slapped him in the chest and told him to shut up.

“Let me take over for once,” he mumbled, placing his chin on your shoulder and nudging you with his head and his non-crispy but still not quite soft dark hair.

“You said I would be an awful sub.”

Jungkook dumped you on the bed, shooing you upwards. You didn’t move, frowning at him. He sighed dramatically.

“You would. You are,” he corrected, planting a hand on your chest and pushing you down, bouncing you against your Pikachu bedsheets. He sandwiched your arms at your sides and straddled your torso. The bed bowed far too low and you almost slid off. Hurriedly, you scooted upwards and Jungkook followed, unbothered.

“You said I’m terrible with authority.”

Jungkook wrestled your arms back down and pinned them with his strong thighs. “You are.”

“You said I’m angry, twenty-four, seven.”

He cocked his head, slowly unbuttoning your pajama shirt. “Still true.”

“And you said I’m uptight,” you added ruefully, pouting.

Jungkook shrugged, reaching in between his legs to unbutton he last few ones. “I’ll fuck it out of you.”

“Jungkook!”

“What?”

He paused, towering above you, eyebrow raised. His black hair curled around his ears, against his silver hoops and base of his neck. His dark eyes pierced down at you, tiny mole under his lips clearly visible from this position. You could see the bottom of his sharp chin, the black t-shirt clinging to his chest, the shape of his tan arms, one tattooed, one not, from below.

“Y-you’re pinching my right arm…”

Jungkook looked down, moving his left leg. “Sorry.”

You winced, pulling out your left arm to rub the other. He tapped your forearm impatiently with his finger.

“You’re ruining the moment,” he scolded.

“You ruined it by bruising me,” you shot back, backing up to your pillows on your elbows, grimacing as you soothed your arm.

“I’m going to bruise you more if you keep being a little brat,” Jungkook growled, following you on hands and knees, the neckline of his t-shirt hanging down, revealing way too much of his skin. Your eyes widened and you slipped, a white plush Poro bonking you in the head. He grabbed it and tossed it aside, the poor guy rolling on the floor.

“That’s very rude,” you muttered, but he was over your body now, breathing hard, staring down your now open shirt and the curve of your breasts into your black bra.

“Why do you get hotter every year?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I… don’t?”

Jungkook shoved the sides of your pajama shirt apart impatiently, reaching under your back and pinching the bra clasp, undoing it with one hand.

“Yes, you do,” he exhaled hotly. “Every year you get prettier and prettier and it pisses me off so much that I have to work out to look half as good as you.”

You felt your ears and cheeks get hot. “Well… you do look very, erm, good.”

“You’re very convincing,” Jungkook chuckled darkly, pushing your bra up and sucking in his lower lip as he revealed your hard, quivering nipples.

Your eyes shifted away from his hungry eyes. “I, uh… am very wet.”

A single, perfectly shaped eyebrow ticked. “Show me.”

“Um…”

He lifted himself off you, pointing down.

“Show me,” Jungkook commanded.

You tried to move your arms and found them tangled in your clothes. You frowned and shrugged out of your pajama shirt, chucking it and your bra aside, before gripping the waistband of your green fleece pants. You hesitated and looked back at Jungkook, who just flapped his hand downwards, giving you a neutral expression.

You puffed your cheeks and raised your hips, yanking your pants and panties down your thighs. You had to bend your legs a bit to fully take them off since Jungkook’s knees were on the outside of your thighs.

Now you were fully naked in front of your childhood best friend. And he was still fully clothed.

“Er, aren’t you going to–”

Jungkook cut you off. “You still haven’t shown me.”

You blinked at him. “What do you want me to do, become a fucking pretzel?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Any way you can prove to me you’re wet.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Fucking…” You bent your right leg and slid it up between his thighs, brushing against his sweatpants and feeling his hard-on for a hot second before you jammed your leg into your chest and lifted it out, pressing your thigh against your torso and raising your calf into the air. You turned your head to the left, letting out an exasperated huff.

“There. You see it?”

Shit, this position was embarrassing for some reason. You could feel cold air on your dripping pussy. Maybe he couldn’t see or something. You lifted your right arm to wrap around your thigh, pressing it down against your breasts since Jungkook wasn’t saying anything.

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Jungkook breathed.

“Okay, going to put my leg do–”

You gasped, suddenly feeling Jungkook’s fingertips touch your heated core, smearing your juices around the lips, his hot breath against your ear as he touched you. You shuddered as he stroked your folds, your name on his lips, his lips kissing your ear.

“Had to touch you,” he whispered against your neck, tone desperate. “I’m sorry, I just had to touch that beautiful pussy, all wet and slopping for me.”

Your eyelids fluttered as his middle finger found your clit, pressing on it. “J-Jungkook… That’s my…”

He chuckled deep in his throat. “Yeah? That’s your what?”

Slow, lazy circles, pushing it around, moan leaving your lips. “My c-clit…”

“Want me to touch it?” Jungkook purred. “Want me to handle your pleasure?”

But he as already touching it, nursing the sensitive bundle of nerves and rousing your lust, igniting it and setting it on fire.

“Y-yes…”

He kissed down your neck, whispering softly, licking your collarbones. “You trust me? You trust me with this pretty, perfect, hot, sexy, fuckable body?”

You arched your neck, giving him more access as he ran his pink lips all over, rubbing your clit, mouth on your throat. Your whole body shook, hips rolling into his finger.

“Y-yes…”

His breath so electrifying that you could barely focus, barely speak as Jungkook’s other hand came up behind your head, long fingers burying into your hair, holding tight, so tight it almost hurt, teeth nipping at your skin.

“Want to mark you,” he mumbled. “Want to give you a big fat hickey you can’t explain, want to bruise you so bad you’ll be staring at it for weeks, thinking about my lips on you, remembering my teeth gave you that.”

He pressed another finger to your clit, increasing the pace, and all you could do was hiss out a yes, a burning yes, a pleading yes, please, Jungkook, whining as his teeth sank into the spot where your shoulder and neck connected, sucking hard, his tongue licking away the prickling pain. His hips rolled into your thigh, his hard cock pressing against you, straining against his pants.

Jungkook moaned into your skin, so hot, so intense, rubbing your aching clit faster, harder, more urgently. Sucking and humping your leg as the feeling of his teeth and his fingers overwhelmed you, one hand clutching his shirt and one hand curled into your sheets as your thighs shook, trying to close but unable to because Jungkook was so strong, so there, so overpowering that you could only lay there and take it, take it as his name poured out of you in a breathless wail, throwing your head back as you felt your pussy clench around nothing, your juices becoming slicker, thicker, the scent of your orgasm staining the air.

He shoved the two fingers inside you and unlatched his mouth, moaning with you as he felt you squeeze his fingers, pumping you in long, slow strokes, all the way to his knuckles. You whimpered, tightening your core and Jungkook moaned again, eyes closed, his hair in disarray as you fucked his hand, clamping your hands on his right forearm, gasping at the feel of his muscle. Pussy throbbing around his fingers, hips meeting his knuckles over and over.

His eyes opened, watching your fuck yourself with his hand, an almost bored expression on his features, but you didn’t care because you felt him flex his fingers and his arm, telling you to continue, telling you he liked it.

“I thought you were going to let me do it.” Jungkook’s voice was low, trying to stay even despite his shallow breathing. “Have to control everything, don’t you?”

You caught your lower lip in your teeth, eyes moving to his face, his handsome, angular face with his black hair curled around his forehead and his cocked eyebrow, smirk on his lips.

“I’m not in control,” you panted. “Your forearm is…”

Jungkook flexed it under your hand and you moaned pathetically, breath hitching.

His smirk grew wider.

“It’s getting you off touching it.”

You swallowed, close, so close and Jungkook was taunting you and for some reason you couldn’t tell him to shut up, because he kept tensing his arm and it was so fucking hot that you really were going to orgasm.

“Say it,” he purred, breathing your name. “Tell me you like my forearm.”

Your eyes shifted down to his arm in your hands, the tiny angry face tattoo in his inner elbow frowning at you.

“I fucking love it, Jungkook,” you gasped. “Fuck, I love your delicious, sexy-as-fuck forearms.”

He grinned and began to thrust his fingers into you, fast, so fast you couldn’t even fathom how he could be that fast like a fucking vibrator, sending torrents of pleasure through you and his arm was so hard and his skin so soft that your eyes rolled back into your head, moaning his name far too loud. Jungkook placed a hand over your mouth and you screamed into it, liquid gushing down your thighs, but he didn’t stop, he kept going until you felt it again, pussy throbbing, back-to-back, eyelids fluttering, nails digging into his arm as the crescendo slammed into you, taking your breath and senses away, lost only in the feeling of Jungkook’s secure presence above you.

He slowed, breathing hard. Gently, carefully pulling his fingers out of your pulsating pussy, gasping as he removed his hand. You vaguely heard Jungkook place his fingers in his mouth, sighing wantonly at your taste.

“You taste so good,” he whispered around his fingers. “Fuck, so sweet and thick and delicious.”

Your brain could not compute what the fuck was happening. Did Jungkook just give you three mind-blowing orgasms in a row after you exploded at him and admitted to thinking about him while masturbating?

Holy shit.

He pressed his face into your hair, inhaling your scent.

You swallowed thickly.

“Jungkook, do you, ah… want something too?” you asked quietly.

You heard him snicker. “If I take my clothes off, I’m going to want to put my dick in you.”

“… I’m cool with that.”

“I thought a dildo was the same as a dick?”

You cleared your throat. “Ah… Well, I didn’t think you’d want to put a dick in me.”

Jungkook laughed. “If I had five dicks, I’d put them all in you.”

“Erm… mathematically speaking, that doesn’t really work…”

“Shut up.”

Jungkook sat up, looking down at you with a smile. The same smile he always had, but a little different now, because he didn’t have to hide his attraction to you anymore.

“You really let me put it in you?”

You narrowed your eyes. “With a ninety-eight percent chance, only.”

His smile became mischievous. “That’s not one hundred percent.”

You puffed your cheeks.

“I’ll take the two percent chance for you and only you, Jungkook.”

He grinned and turned around, throwing himself to the end of the bed where his jeans were barely holding on. Fishing through the pockets, retrieving the foil packet from the back pocket. You blinked at him.

“How long has that been–”

Jungkook gave you a silencing look. “I bring a new one every time I come over, in hopes you become drunk enough to sit on my dick.”

You blinked at him. “What.” Not a question, just you stating it.

“Because you’re paranoid.”

You frowned. “I’m not–”

He launched himself over the bed and silenced you with a kiss, deep and longing. You leaned into it, breathing softly, tongue against his, pressing back against him. Jungkook drew back slowly, thumb on your cheek. Eyes looking into yours, careful and tender.

“I don’t want you to worry,” he said against your lips. “I’ll do anything you want. I know it’s not easy for you. I know you’re not ready for the million babies I want from you.”

“I can’t have a million babies. It’s not scientifically possible,” you interjected.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “Can you just let me have one romantic moment?”

“Erm, sorry.”

“You want me to have a damn vasectomy or something? Because I’ll fucking do it. That shit’s reversible.”

“No, that kind of requires more time and I’m pretty horny for your dick right now. Condom will do.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “You are a shitty sub.”

“I will do better after I’ve had the dick.”

Jungkook straightened and yanked his black t-shirt over his head. “No, you won’t.”

Your eyes roamed over his toned chest. Damn, he was ripped. Maybe he was insecure about you being hot or something, but you were certainly benefiting. “You never know?”

Jungkook sent you a pained look and pressed a hand to your chest, shoving you back into your bed. “I’ve known you way too long to believe those words coming out of your mouth.”

You were going to reply, but he ran his hand over your chest, inhaling sharply as he brushed against your nipples. He ran his fingers over them, squeezing a little. You whined, trying to get more, but Jungkook pressed his palm down on your breast, breathing hard.

“Listen, woman, I’m about to explode in my damn underwear. Stop sounding so sexy this instant.”

Your eyes found his, pupils blown wide, lips pursed, and jaw tight. Your lips parted a little, tongue peeking out, a soft moan of his name emitting from your throat. You saw a muscle in his eyebrow twitch. He looked like he wanted to throttle you, at least a little bit.

You grinned.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

“You are lucky you’re cute,” he muttered. “And lucky I want to be in this pussy more than I want to be alive.”

“Don’t you ne–”

Jungkook planted his hand on your mouth. “The only words I want to hear out of you are, “Fuck me harder” or my own name, you got that?” he snarled, pressing his hand into your face for emphasis.

You nodded quickly.

He sighed, almost in relief, and yanked his pants and underwear down, wincing. There was a large wet spot on his boxer briefs, strings of pre-cum clinging as he pushed it down his muscular thighs.

“You made me a giant mess,” he muttered, eyes flickering up to you. “What do you have to say?”

You blinked at him and gave him a thumbs up.

He grinned. “You do know how to listen.”

In truth, you couldn’t say anything because you were breathlessly staring at Jungkook’s thick cock, red head glistening with pre-cum, dripping everywhere. You slid down quickly, startling him, and wrapped your lips around the head, moaning as his strong taste invaded your mouth. He hissed, gritting his teeth as your tongue swiped around, licking his length all over, feeling the veins and contours, memorizing them.

“F-fuck,” he gasped. “You wanted to clean me up that bad?”

Your eyes traveled up his abs, his pecs, his neck, to his face, giving him your best imploring look. He smirked, placing a hand on your forehead, and gradually, with great effort, pulled out of your tight mouth. Tight because you sucked in your cheeks, not wanting to let him go, but Jungkook was stronger than you. You frowned, but he shooed you away.

“I allowed it this one time. Now back to your spot.”

You backed up, tsking as you watched him roll down the condom, groaning as it covered him.

“I’m actually glad I have this fucking condom,” Jungkook muttered, glaring at you.

You couldn’t say anything, so you spread your legs. His eyes dropped down and he bit his lower lip, crawling to you, grabbing your thighs. Placing himself right in front of your soaked entrance, staring down at your pussy as he guided himself, sinking into you.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut.

You moaned, feeling Jungkook’s cock stretch you out, so different from a silicone dildo or multiple fingers, because it was Jeon Jungkook praying for air as you clenched around his length, his cries of pleasure as he rocked his hips into you. Those long nights with your vibrator and his Instagram open on your phone were incomparable to his cock molding to your walls, his hard hips finally hitting your thighs, all the way in, and it was so good that you throbbed around him, shuddering.

“J-Jungkook…” you pleaded.

“I know,” he panted, hands gripping your knees tight. “I know, but give me a second to appreciate this pussy, holy fuck.”

He jerked his cock inside you and you cried out, definitely crushing your sheets, but Pikachu had seen a lot by now and there was only going to be more.

Jungkook finally began to slide out and push back in, groaning, starting slow and deep because quite frankly he needed to last more than five seconds and your pussy was not letting up. You had too much control over your vaginal muscles and he was too into you to not be hugely turned on by it, shoving your legs up higher so he could go deeper, feel more of you surround him and massage his length.

“H-harder…” you whimpered. “Please, Jungkook, fuck me harder…”

And how could Jungkook say no to that? Begging so perfectly, with just the right amount of desperation, and you didn’t even know it was driving him insane, because he knew normally you were so wound up, always worrying about being perfect, always worrying about doing the right thing, but now you were unraveling on his cock as he bent down and put more force into it, pounded you harder, watching the ecstasy in your eyes, your mouth opening and tongue peeking out, hot breath in his face. Knuckles white as you clutched the sheets, pleasure radiating up his length as you came with a cry, his name, his name on those perfect lips, lips he always watched with envy, wondering who had them, wondering who was so lucky to capture them.

And now it was just him, just him and you, and his hips slapping into your hips, pussy nearly choking his cock, but it felt so good, so fucking euphoric as you fucked him back, raising your hips to meet his, loud, wet, and lewd, probably causing a ruckus next door. But neither of you cared, your names mixing together, your eyes staring to Jungkook’s piercing brown ones, hot pleasure radiating up your stomach, your chest, to your head and there was no one else.

No one else but Jungkook’s name tumbling out of your mouth as the wave soared into you, pussy spasming as you came again, unsure at what number it was, but it was the one Jungkook wasn’t prepared for and he groaned, smacking into you one last time before you felt his cock throb and pulse against your walls, spilling into the condom. You gasped at the feeling, clenching around him, his right hand reaching over to grasp yours and hold it tightly, intertwining your fingers.

“W-wow…” you whispered breathlessly. “Nice cock.”

Jungkook burst out laughing. “You’re unbelievable.” He reached down and gingerly felt around in your dripping folds, finding the end of the condom and pulling out carefully.

“Fuck. It’s so much,” he gulped, brows knitted in worry.

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. I finished my period yesterday. Likelihood of you getting me pregnant is pretty low.”

Jungkook jerked his head towards you.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say that sooner?” he roared, slapping your leg. “I was scared shitless over here!”

You placed your hands over your ears. “So loud. Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No!”

--

masterpost

[tiens-letters]

with these hands, I vowed to love you

with these hands, I vowed to care for you

and with these hands, I ruined you

Childe (angst)

tw : slight gore and just pure pain

...

It was that time of the year again, going back to the snowy region was a bliss for you. Having to visit your fiancée's family was an unspoken tradition after he introduced you to them. They practically took you in as one of them immediately, especially that little angel brother of his.

Teucer.

The train ride was comfortable , the window giving you the familiar beauty of the snowy landscape of snezhenaya. It was snug inside the rather spacious compartment Childe rented out, even when you told him that you'd rather share a normal one due to your thrifty nature he'd shrug it off, claiming it that he has too much mora and nowhere to spend it on other than you.

Gifts from him would scare you as you knew these weren't anywhere cheap. Everything he gave was expensive, he loved showering you in gifts and it made you feel so overwhelmed.

"Ajax, you're spending too much." you were visibly sweating beside him as he picked out another one of the dresses on display at the local boutique of Liyue.

"I think this one would suit you better, don't you think so love?" of course he wasn't listening, placing the dress in front of you

"Ajax." you frowned at him

" I just want to spoil you." he whines

"I know but sometimes its just..." you stopped yourself before saying anything further in fear of offending him

"Was it too much again?" the tone in his voice softens as he puts back the dress, he knew how you didn't like that habit of his, formed from the first time he saw you down by the docks.

"One dress, Ajax. One is enough since you picked it out for me." you gave in not wanting to see him so dejected, he immediately brightens up as he pecks you on cheek before rushing off to a different aisle of clothing. Sighing, you sat down on the sofa present in the shop, watching the ginger decide thoroughly of what dress to buy.

But of course, your love for one another runs deeper than things bought off gold nor silver. No, it ran deeper than anything else, rivaling the oceanic depths.

"What are you thinking about hmm?" he hums below you, head resting against your lap.

"Im just happy to be visiting again, that's all." you smile, nimble hands brushing through his soft hair "Sleep well?"

"You bet I did." he grins taking your hand and placing a kiss to your beating pulse and then another and another, showering you in his deeply rooted affection. Soon his kisses reached where they are supposed to belong, those soft lips of yours and then inching their way to the sensitive spots on your neck, leaving marks only he can place on you.

Breathless and bothered, you pushed him back "The attendants are gonna see, you idiot." at least you still had some control in you

"They will only arrive when we call them , so its fine to have a little fun before we arrive." there was that sly grin of his as he continued in where you both left off, ears perking to hear more sounds exclusively for him and him only.

"You horny bastard!"

...

It was cozy by the hearth, you and his siblings huddled together in one single fleece blanket, steaming cups of hot cocoa in hand. Childish giggles and hushed stories erupted amongst you. Teucer having wrapped in your arms as he snuggled closer. Anthon and Tonia flanking your sides.

"Hey, who's fiancé do you think you guys are coveting?"

"Oh don't be like that, your siblings just miss them." his mother chided from the couch where she sat, an open book on her lap, she didn't seem to age and always looked so young that at first you were shocked to have been introduced to her.

"But mom, I haven't seen her all day." her son pouts as if he were still a child denied his candy

"Give me a break, you're always clinging onto her you know." his sister rolls those identical thalassic eyes at him "You wont die if you go a day without her."

"Listen here you little---"

"Ajax." you interjected, as much as you enjoy the siblingly banter of theirs, you cant have them going at each other with offensive words. His pleading gaze aimed at you as he practically begged for you both to go home.

"Please?"

"After I put Teucer to bed." you sighed, standing up with the youngest in your arms

"Seriously this guy." his sister groaned "I was having a good time."

"Tonia dear, we can continue our conversations tomorrow." you winked at her, it was a promise

"Fine."

Both of you bid farewell to his mother and made your way towards Teucer's room and tucking him in.

"Happy?" you turned to your fiancée, a narrowed look in your eyes as he grinned beside you

"Of course, sweetheart!" he pecked your lips as he pulled you closer

"Can you not do it in Teucer's room? Have some shame." his siblings' comments were endless, this time it was from his older brother.

"That's why were going home." Childe picked you up as you made a surprised yelp making the other party roll his eyes "Also, get ready to lose tomorrow brother. I'm getting that white deer for my lady."

"I'm looking forward to it."

The walk was short towards Childe's home as he preferred living alone. It was a grandiose manor and you were sure you will never get used to how big it was and filled with such furnitures of the finest quality.

"Well, how was your day darling?" you hummed, arms snaking around his neck

"Oh you wouldn't believe it."

...

It was there.

You felt it in the cold breeze that wafted into the room.

A shift in the flow of the wind, it was different yet familiar at the same time. Leaving the window open as the harsh temperatures of the night climbed and crawled inside. The curtains danced in the turbulent current of the gale, carrying songs only you could hear. Songs that made mountains tremble and build civilizations at the same time.

there was something foreboding, something terrifying and something heavy and dark that devoured anything in its path.

You heard him first before he came in through those doors, that tousled ginger hair of his caked with melting snowflakes in the warm glow of the lamps. His rugged appearance caused by the hunting competition between him and his older siblings induced his worn out state. That soft yet jaded smile of his was what welcomed you as he trudged inside the bedroom, lazily discarding his clothes on the basket for dirty laundry and entering the bathroom for a quick shower.

"why is the window open? " he asks you, sliding inside the warm covers

"I just wanted fresh air ." you smile as you shut the windows and pull the blinds enough for you to see the moon that hung above the sky. Joining him under the covers, you cradled him, his head resting on the crook of your neck. Your hands finding their way into those soft locks of his , entangling them as he hummed softly against you. Those arms of his that held weapons and skin littered with scars both old and new now held you close, so tenderly as if he'd never taken a life before.

"sing me a song, sweetheart. " his queries were simple yet genuine

"of course." you sang until you equated him to a sleeping newborn

It was warm, so warm that you could have mistaken it for a summer afternoon in Liyue, resting on the couch with silken pillows and window showcasing the view of the harbor below. The steaming cups of soothing tea Beidou would brew for you when nights became cold at times she would pay you a visit after trading that would take weeks, months and rarely years.

you slept.

Why is it cold? you wondered, Did Ajax open the windows?

You were blessed by the tsaritsa so such climates shouldn't matter to you.

You woke up.

A shadow was cast over you by the man youve sung to sleep. Virulent blue eyes looked at you with so much abhorrence, for a second you couldnt recognize them and thought it was a stranger to which you were ready to terminate.

"Ajax?" your voice was hoarse, as you slowly lost the feeling in your lips.

He was crazed, still trapped in that dreaming state of his, drifting between experiences. Today was a re-enactment of a memory he would never speak of, not even to you. There were parts of him he'd never tell you, such a soul as yours should never hear.

You choked and coughed as the metallic taste of mortal ichor filled your throat. How could you have not felt anything earlier? Was it because of your futile attempts to coax Ajax back into reality or was it because of the numerous thoughts your mind came up with to he answer as to why he is in such a virulent state. Excruciating pain filled your whole body as you writhed and struggled under his grip. It felt as if something was being ripped out of you.

"Ajax, darling come back to me." you cried, it took so much to even utter a word as you bled out, you know not where but you could feel it. The liquid vital for your survival was seeping out of you, flowing like a lazy river on an autumns day, only that it was warm, sticky and addicting.

"Ajax?" a hiss comes from that mouth, he cringes as you freed your numb hands to hold his face and he let you, seeing as to there was no point in stopping you as you dangerously danced on a tight rope of life and death. You couldn't tell in that delirious disposition of yours if his eyes were shifting between Ajax or the primal eyes of a beast hunting its prey.

It wasn't too late was it?

But why didn't your eyes meet his?

Who snuffed out all the lights?

"I've abandoned that name a long time ago."

The cold took over you completely, freezing you until you broke under his touch with words left dying in your ichor filled lips

and then fear was the last thing you felt.

fear that he might not return to his sweet, charming self.

fear that he will curse everything in his path.

fear that he might attempt to use different various methods to bring back what was lost

and fear of his ruination.

you care not for your death, even in your last minutes of life, you dare not blame him for what he's endured so far. only wishing he never had to experience such in the first place.

This is what the wind warned you about in its lullaby.

...

Childe woke up for the second time.

Oddly more worn out than the day before, but your songs always worked, how come? . He wondered if you left to make breakfast as the covers felt empty as he reached out for you. No, you were a late riser, always having to slumber in the middle of the warm covers of the bed you both share. It was he who mostly did the cooking in the morning. So your presence gone was a displacement in the moment of his waking.

His eyes had to adjust to the view of the room as he sat up, a yawn escaping his lips as he called for you. The pitter-patter sound of the water on the bathroom tiles were non-existent as he strained his ears to hear for any trace of you.

"What..." he was confused as to why the room was trashed, furniture broken in half and strewn about the room, the drapes shredded and laying on the floor and the mirror shattered to pieces, shards sharp enough to cut through skin yet he slept through such a thing?

his first concern was your safety as you had not been present in the room and it him.

the heavy stench of blood lingered in the air. His enjoyment for such things turned into something suffocating because blood was never shed in his own home nor in his very room. In the state of confusion, something dark caught his peripheral vision. A large blemish in the covers beside him, it was dyed a deep dark crimson and he knew well what it was. He began to shake in worry, telling himself not to panic until he finds you safe. All he could remember was you singing him to sleep, held captive in your soft arms, encased in your warmth, so how did it come to such a morning that looked like a result of a monster's tantrum. He calls out for you, his bare feet on the floor as splinters punctured them and he didnt care. he had to find you.

The hallways looked haunting, the portraits on the walls taunting him and he swore he was going lose it if he hadnt found you sooner, every room was achingly vacant and it felt like a dream. He calls for your name again in a frenzy as he rushes through the place, had the mansion been this big? he thinks as he runs down the stairs.

There in the fireplace, the dying embers of fire lit from the night before, wood giving away and turning into coal as the burning smell mingled with similar stench that engulfed the bedroom, the same dark liquid on the sheets was present as well, only that it was painted into the wall and bled down creating a cascading waterfall.

Because there you were, with arms spread out as if welcoming each and every sinner for solace and blessing them with forgiveness, the drying mortal ichor behind you creating a halo. Your lips upturned into something soft as if you'd do anything disgraceful to keep the effeminacy on a soul lost to ruin.

an angel crucified.

that oh so heavenly face of yours could rival anything beautiful, even statues would crumble under you, nations would go to war for you and bodies of those who want you would turn into a throne built for you and you only. You were immortally ethereal even in death.

Ajax, dear sweet Ajax felt his legs give away, energy having siphoned from him as he trembled so much that it could rival the mountains when they shook. Thalassic eyes, wide blown into grief, anguish and all other emotions crashed against him like strong waves that could drown anyone caught up in it. He knelt as pain spread through him like wildfire, burning, scorching and killing. Agonized cries filled the room and if someone were to pass by, they couldve mistaken it for a dying animal. He gasped and choked on his own breath as he dared to look at you, the tears freely flowing from his eyes, down to his pale cheek and finally falling off his trembling chin to be hungrily absorbed by the carpeted floor that was also tarnished by ichor.

He felt crazed as he wept and in that moment of insanity, he remembered. That most disgusting sin he's ever committed that he should never be pardoned for in the life he has right now and the next ones he will be in. Through the blur of tears, he saw his hands and he wished he didnt.

Sullied hands befitting a murderer.

He screams into the ground, doubling over as his hands find their way into his hair, gripping it and ripping out those jacinthe locks of his. He could never forgive himself now and he never will. He wails out loud until his own throat collapsed into a croaking mess.

and then he couldnt find himself no longer.

The sand of time seemed to trickle down slowly. His eldest siblings came looking for him, to continue the hunt. A once peaceful encounter turned into a nightmarish reality as they witnessed their brother rocking back and forth with you gingerly wrapped in his arms, mumbling your name. Lips pressed to your forehead as he prayed and begged for forgiveness over and over in hushed torn whispers as if it were enough to bring you back and cover that gaping hole in your abdomen.

"What did you do?"

...

"Brother, when are they coming back?"

Oh darling Teucer, innocence reflecting off his eyes as he tugged on his brother's sleeve. The toy you gifted him clutched tightly at his side.

"I dont know kid, their mission was sudden so its best to wait. Can you do that Teuc?" the truth about you was kept behind closed doors, only adults can speak of and if they did, it took time to keep the conversation smooth and off of any grief nor sadness when your name reached their tongue. The younger ones would never know until the time is right. When everything was taken care of and hearts moved on. 

Your funeral was held in secrecy yet was it was grand. Something that would hold the significance of your memories with them. It was beautiful, your favorite flowers lined along your coffin, and you. Looking ever so ethereal even when death has kissed you, clad in that dress Childe bought for you. 

"uh huh!" the youngest ginger nodded eagerly and skipped away as the eldest sighed into his hands, the pressure weighing heavily on his shoulders as he worried more and more about his younger sibling. Another memory, a mind broken and a his soul withering. was there any way to save him? 

Days seemed to go by as any glimpse of the man was scarce. Until one day they ceased to see him altogether. It started at lunch, a week after the funeral when it took everyone to coax him into eating more as he lost weight  and trickled down to a whole day. Cooped up in his room, clinging to a pillow with the fading scent of you. and then he was gone, like a snowflake melting upon ones forehead. They grew anxious and thought of the worse until they caught wind that he was back in Liyue from one of the agents only then were they allowed to breathe a little better. 

"Childe, what finds you here?" the calm tone of the geo archon's voice broke him out of his trance

"Have you seen my fiance?" Zhongli blinks at the question of the harbinger, he knew what befell you and yet this man before him seemed clueless enough as to what he committed. How Childe did what he did, he seemed to sympathize with in a way that would make him understand his behavior. 

" I have not." he couldnt bring himself to tell this man the truth. Perhaps he was sparing him, spearing that mind of his into spiraling down into nothingness and a heart that was held by a thin piece of thread. "Perhaps it is better to enjoy yourself while you wait for them." 

To deviate oneself from the loss might be the best way Childe right now until his mind is ready to accept the torment of the heavy truth that would slew this man. 

"I see. " he smiles and yet it feels so empty to Childe, the reason? He wouldnt know or atleast his mind wouldnt allow him to know 

"Ill see you around then Xiansheng." 

Everything that he portrayed lacked and all he could do as he's always did. 

...........

i had to.

I hope yall would get Childe :)

[caffeinatedbraincell]

So you asked about prompts? ;D What about Joe/Nicky + any team member cuddling for warmth? Or something about all of them sharing clothes? Huge bonus if Lykon is still part of the Guard ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you anon for the ask!! 💕 This took forever but here it is~

Read on AO3

“Whose idea was this, again?” Joe complained, readjusting the weight of the front half of the giant plastic evergreen. He was sweating and freezing at the same time, which was decidedly one of his least favorite feelings ever.

“Yeah, I wonder,” Quynh seconded from behind him, throwing Andy a dirty look.

Andy sauntered hands-free in front of them, talking animatedly with Nicky and Lykon as they walked. The three of them clearly loved the snow, though Joe doubted they would be having even half as much fun if they had to carry the tree.

Quynh spat out some plastic pine needles. “Andromache! It’s your turn to carry this, come here!”

“Pleeease babe, we’re almost home!”

“Yeah,” Nicky interjected. “Besides, we have to carry the presents!” He waved the small, sparkly gift bag at them before pointedly turning back around.

Joe muttered something in Arabic about lazy spouses with nice asses, and Quynh cackled.

“Alright, alright,” Lykon interjected, jumping in front to get everyone’s attention. “Booker just texted me that he’s managed to get Nile out of the house under the pretext of, and I quote, ‘the snowball duel of the century.’ They’re going to the mountain pass, so we have two hours to get set up.”

“Perfetto,” Nicky said. “It’ll take me about twenty minutes to get the cookies in the oven, and then I’ll help decorate the tree.”

“You better get out in less than twenty,” Quynh warned. “When am I supposed to work? Do you even know how long it takes to cook chicken?”

“He doesn’t,” Joe confirmed.

“Habibi, that’s not fair. What about that time I made-”

A long, ominous buzz innervated all of their phones simultaneously. It was an emergency weather alert.

“Blizzard warning until 2:15 AM. All inner city residents are encouraged to shelter in place until further notice. Sudden snowfall and landslides may prove deadly,” Nicky read.

“Lykon, text Booker,” Andy ordered.

“On it.”

“No use,” Nicky cut in. “They’re probably already at the mountain pass. They won’t make it back in time.”

Andy swore loudly. “Joe, get the car. We’re going after them.”

Quynh and Joe dropped the tree and ran towards the house. By the time Joe started the car, Quynh was climbing down the porch steps with an armful of towels. The five of them piled into the car and tore down the icy roads.

The storm picked up with terrifying haste. When they got to the bridge near the mountain pass, visibility was already nearing zero. Joe switched places with Andy, clambering into the passenger seat so she could take the wheel. If anything could help them now, it was Andy’s extensive experience with driving in extreme weather conditions.

As they traveled through the pass, everyone kept their eyes trained on the snowy slopes, looking for any signs of Nile and Booker.

Suddenly, Lykon cried out in horror. Only a few feet away from the road were two motionless bodies, almost fully buried in a snow drift.

“Cazzo!” Nicky yelled, leaping out of the car. “There must have been an avalanche!”

Andy shoved the gearshift into parking and followed, joining the others as they attempted to dig out their friends with their bare hands. About two minutes after the frostbite set in, they were able to pull Nile and Booker free of the drift.

“Why aren’t they waking up?” Lykon asked, a tinge of panic in his voice. Andy rubbed Nile’s wrist as she looked at her watch, attempting to measure a pulse. Nicky tried to do the same for Booker, unconsciously chanting a Hail Mary under his breath.

Quynh stepped forward. “We need to get them back to the car. The heater will warm them up and help dry them off. Come on.”

Joe picked up Nile in his arms, cradling her head. Quynh threw Booker over her shoulders in a fireman’s carry. This time, they noticed neither the weight nor the cold. Their entire focus was on getting their friends home to warmth and safety.

“Joe, your coat,” Andy said as they got to the car. “It’s fleece. Take Nile’s ski jacket off and give her yours.”

Joe obeyed without hesitation, bundling her in his own winter gear and buckling her into the back seat. Meanwhile, Quynh and Nicky used the towels to dry off Booker’s snow coat as best as they could. Lykon climbed into the passenger seat, and Andy began to drive.

Thankfully, the storm didn’t get worse on their way back (though Joe seriously doubted it could get worse). By the time Andy pulled into their driveway, Nile and Booker were beginning to stir.

“Hey, easy now,” Lykon soothed, helping a dazed Booker out of the car. “Let’s get you inside. There we go, you’re okay. Just a little farther.”

Behind them, Nile leaned heavily on Quynh as she half-carried her up the porch steps. Joe paused, watching them enter.

“All okay?” Andy asked, placing a hand on his shoulder as the wind whipped the snow around them.

“The tree…” Joe muttered, fazed. “I dropped it somewhere. We were going to surprise Nile, and I-”

Andy turned him gently to face her, pulling his woolen beanie down to cover his ears.

“It’s alright, love,” she said softly, switching to Arabic. “She needs a different kind of comfort from us now. She and Booker both. Let’s go take care of them, okay?”

Joe nodded, following her into the warmth of their home.

A fire blazed happily in the hearth. Someone had expanded their futon and pulled it closer to the fireplace. Nile and Booker were seated on it now, wearing large, clean sweatpants - Nicky’s sweatpants, Joe noticed - and fuzzy Christmas sweaters. Quynh and Lykon were snuggled up on either side of them, feeding them something from a thermos flask and adjusting the heated blankets.

“Room for two more?” Andy grinned, curling up next to Quynh and gesturing at Joe to sit. “What’s that?” Joe asked, sliding under Lykon’s side of the blanket and pointing at the steaming drink in the thermos.

“I made apple cider earlier and left it in the instant pot,” Lykon replied. “It was still hot.”

Lykon held the drink to Nile’s lips. She took a large sip, sighing happily. Joe made a mental note to pour himself some cider if he ever got out from under this heated blanket.

Just then, Nicky walked out of the kitchen, balancing a large tray in his hands. “Soup time! Everyone sit up, let’s eat.”

Joe blinked, wondering how his husband had had the presence of mind to immediately go into the kitchen and make soup, of all things. He himself was still recovering from the last hour’s ordeal.

Nicky tutted disapprovingly. “Boss, get changed. Joe, you too. Why would you think it’s a good idea to get under an electric blanket in wet clothes?”

Andy grimaced, throwing her jacket and t-shirt on the floor and snuggling up to Quynh in just her bra. Quynh tugged Andy closer.

Nicky turned to Joe, raising an eyebrow. “Habibi?”

Joe pulled a face. “Do you have any sweatpants left for me?”

“Always.” Nicky ruffled Joe’s curls. “My gray university ones are in the dryer. They’ll still be warm if you hurry.”

Joe got up, returning two minutes later in the gray sweatpants and a black tank top he stole off of Andy’s dresser. He hastily dove back under Lykon’s heated blanket.

In the middle of the couch, swaddled in blankets and eating soup, Nile and Booker were looking much more alive. The color returned to their cheeks, intensifying as Nicky began to scold them.

“Booker, what the fuck were you thinking?” he demanded.

“I don’t know! You said to distract Nile, and she wanted to have a snowball fight. So I said yes!”

“Why didn’t you just go to the park?”

“I thought driving out to the mountain pass would buy you guys more time. It was a bad idea. I’m sorry.”

“You could have died, Book! Just because we’re immortal doesn’t mean we can play with our lives like that. Not to mention, you put Nile in danger!”

Quynh sat up, reaching for Nicky’s hands. She swiped her thumbs over his knuckles in a soothing gesture. “Hey, lay off him, would you? They’ve had a tough night.”

“But what if-”

“No what-ifs, Nicky. It’s alright. They’re safe. Now put the rest of that soup down and come here.”

Nicky sighed in secret gratitude. This was not a night he wanted to be left to follow his thoughts. “Fine.”

He squeezed onto the futon between Quynh and Nile, accepting the blanket Andy threw over him. He wrapped his arms around Nile, who snuggled closer.

“Nicky?” she mumbled after a moment.

“Hmm?”

“If you’re not still angry, can I ask you a question?”

Nicky pulled back to look at her. “Sorellina, I’m so sorry. I was never angry at you. Nor at Booker, really. Just a bit worried.”

“Yeah,” Joe piped up from the other end of the couch. “He gets mean when he’s scared.”

“I am not mean,” Nicky insisted. “Nile, what was it you wanted to ask?”

“Why did Booker say you wanted him to distract me? Distract me from what?”

Lykon laughed. “Should we tell her, Nicky, or do we plan to try again tomorrow?”

“We lost the tree, so I think we should just tell her,” Joe voted sleepily.

“You just don’t want to carry another tree,” Booker accused.

“Easy for you to say!” Quynh jumped in. “Next time, I’ll distract her, and you can walk a mile in the snow with plastic pine needles in your face.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Andy said, lips twitching. “No more attempts. Jesus wasn’t actually born on this day, anyway. I was there.”

Nicky blinked at her, and then rapidly shook his head to clear it. He looked at Nile. “We were trying to surprise you with a Christmas party. Remember last Thursday, when you were telling us how your family celebrated it back home?”

“Yeah.”

“We wanted to recreate all the same traditions. We got a tree, and some ornaments, and stockings with your initials on it, and, uh…”

“Presents! And that Christmas music you like,” Joe added.

“Yes, and Nicky was going to make cookies shaped like reindeer,” Quynh said.

“Also,” Lykon pointed to a folded-up tripod in the corner, “we were going to take family photos in our sweaters and put them on postcards. Copley said we can’t send them to anyone, but we could still make some.”

Booker sighed. “Sorry I ruined it, Nile. I thought- wait, are you crying?!”

Nile sniffled, turning away from Booker to tuck her face under the blanket. “No.”

“Oh, honey,” Quynh cooed. We can still do it all tomorrow, if you want…”

“It’s not that,” Nile croaked. “It’s just- You guys did all that just to surprise me?”

“It’s nothing,” Nicky assured. “Well, it’s really nothing now, but even if everything had gone according to plan, it still wouldn’t have been any trouble. It’s your first Christmas with us, and we wanted it to be memorable.”

“You’re the best,” Nile said, voice choked with emotions. “All of you. And this is the best Christmas Eve ever. Thank you.”

“Hush,” Andy smirked. “In this house, we show gratitude by not dying unnecessarily.”

“Oh, that was all Booker’s fault,” Nile countered smoothly. “I would have been content with a snowball fight in the park.”

“Really loving the underside of this bus,” Booker muttered as the others laughed.

Over the next hour, the lighthearted conversation drifted into sleepy silence. By the time Nicky thought to ask who would turn off the lights, Joe was only half-pretending to be fast asleep.

[ssahotchhner]

till death do us part

just a lil something about the reader and hotch breaking up, but the reader doesn’t know the real reason the relationship ended. lemme know what you think and what you’d like to see from me next (:

pairing: hotch x reader

warnings: nothing except a car accident i’m pretty sure, brief mention of guns. mostly pure fluff and angst (:

questions, comments, concerns

You roughly wipe the tears on your cheeks with the heel of your hand, annoyed at yourself for crying.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N, this isn’t how I wanted things to go.” Aaron’s watching you put all your things in a cardboard box.

“It’s fine, Aaron.”

He sighs and out of the corner of your eye you see the way his hands twitch at his sides. He’s so used to being the one to comfort you, he doesn’t know what to do with himself when he’s the reason you’re in pain. 

You finish packing the box and walk to the door of his apartment. Jack sees you and runs after you, “Y/N, you just got here! Why are you leaving? Can’t we play first?”

You take a deep shuddering breath and turn back around to face Jack, forcing a smile. “Not today buddy, another time.” You kneel to his level and reach out to ruffle his hair, “I promise, okay?”

He frowns at you, “Why are you crying?”

Aaron runs a hand over his face, clearly upset about having now upset not one, but two of his favorite people.

“I’m just sad, buddy, but I’ll be okay.”

“But why are you sad? Did Daddy do something wrong?”

Fuck, that kid is perceptive. “No, honey, Daddy and I both decided that it would be better if we didn’t see each other for a while.”

“Then why are you sad?”

“Because sometimes, even though you know something is for the best, it can still make you very sad.”

Jack’s still frowning and he reminds you so much of his dad, it’s stifling, “Am I ever going to see you again?”

It’s all you can do to keep your face from crumpling, even Aaron has to turn away, “Of course, Jack. We’ll still hang out, I promise.”

“Jack, why don’t you go play in your room now, I’ll be there in a minute.”

When Jack is out of sight, you sigh and put your face in your hands. Holding in your sobs, but just barely.

“I’m sorry,” It’s the most emotion you’ve heard in his voice this whole time, “I--I should have told him myself.”

You rise to standing, “It’s okay.” You pick up your box of belongings, “You’re sure this is what you want?” You know the answer, but you have to ask another time.

He looks at you hopelessly, “I’m sorry.” 

You were getting sick of hearing that phrase. You only nod and then open his door, walking down the hallway without looking back.

***

“Y/N, we’re all going out for burgers tonight, you coming?” Morgan plants himself on your desk and both Prentiss and Reid look around him hopefully.

“Hotch too?”

Morgan stares at you a moment, “You know, he asked the same about you?”

“Hm, strange.” You muse, not looking up from your report, “You can tell him I’m not coming, I have reports to finish.” Morgan plucks your pen from your hand, “Hey!”

“I know you guys are obviously going through something right now, but we’re still a family. I know he still cares about you and you still care about him.”

You sigh, “I know. I just can’t handle seeing him outside of a professional setting right now,” You look away from him as your eyes water, “It hurts too much.”

Morgan puts a hand over yours, “Okay. We’re all just a phone call away, alright? Don’t work too late.”

“I won’t,” You give him a small smile, “You guys have fun tonight.”

He smiles back and leans over to kiss your head, “Not without you, we won’t.”

They all say goodbye to you and Hotch walks out of his office, telling the others he’ll catch up with them in a minute. He walks down into the bullpen and stands in front of your desk, “I don’t have to go tonight if you want to go.”

“Aaron, don’t do this. I've already made up my mind. Go with them, they’re waiting. I have reports to do anyway.”

“I’m the unit chief, I know you don’t owe me any reports.”

You sigh, “I’m fine. Please just go.”

“I don’t want it to always be like this.”

“It won’t. I’ll move on eventually, but right now…” You chew the inside of your cheek and look away from him, “I still love you too damn much.”

He stands there for a few more moments and then he starts to back away, “Don’t stay here too late.” He says quietly and he’s gone before you can reply.

With everyone gone, you sigh deeply and lay your head on the desk for a while. You’d been on this team for six years now. Three of those years you had dated Aaron. The team had known, of course, which only made now even harder. And here Aaron was, completely unaffected. If you didn’t work here you’d bet the team wouldn’t even know he had just ended a three year relationship.

And God, did that hurt. That he could so easily just turn everything off when you could barely get out of bed every day. You wouldn’t go back to your apartment tonight, you hated being there. You used to spend nearly five days a week at Hotch’s place and now being at your own empty one felt suffocating.

Finally, you stand, and you walk to the one place you know you shouldn’t. Your hand hovers over Aaron’s office doorknob. Swallowing your fear, you walk in. The smell hits you first. It smells like him, it always has, but you haven’t been in here since the breakup so it hits you pretty hard. Your eyes travel over all of his things and land on the couch. He’s left his gray quarter zip fleece draped over the arm. Against your better judgement, you walk over to the couch and pick up the fleece.

***

“I told you to bring a jacket.” Aaron’s smiling at you as you both walk by the water. You had finished eating dinner at an Italian restaurant nearby and you had asked Aaron if you could walk for a bit before going home.

You roll your eyes, “I know, you’re always right.”

He chuckles and then starts pulling his gray fleece over his head, “Here.”

“Honey, no, then you’ll be cold.”

He ignores your protests and puts it over your head himself. It’s big on you, your arms swim in it and it falls to your mid thigh. You smile up at him, feeling much warmer already, “Thank you.”

Aaron smiles down at you, draping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you to him, kissing you softly, “Of course.”

***

Before you know what you’re doing, you’re pulling the fleece over your head and laying down on the couch, silent tears running down your cheeks. You don’t know when you fall asleep, only that it’s the first time you had in nearly five days.

***

“Did you and Y/N have an argument?” Prentiss asks Hotch as they both sip on a beer. The rest of the team is busy immersed in their own conversation.

Hotch looks at Emily and then away, “No. We broke up.”

Emily raises her eyebrows, “What? Why?”

He takes a long swig of his beer, stalling, “You should ask her. I don’t know if she wants people knowing.”

“So she broke up with you?”

“Not exactly.”

“Come on, Hotch, spit it out. I won’t tell anyone.”

He looks at the rest of the team who are obviously not paying attention and then back to Emily, “She wanted to get married.”

Emily waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t. “Okay… So?”

“And I wouldn’t propose.”

“Well, why not?”

He looks up at the ceiling and it takes Emily a moment to realize he’s trying not to cry, “How am I supposed to get married again knowing the target it put on Haley? How am I supposed to knowingly subject another person that I love to that?”

“Hotch, by being a member of this team, Y/N already has a target on her back. You know that.”

“Being my wife and being my colleague are very different and if someone like Foyet targets me again, who do you think they’ll go after, Emily? The team or my wife?”

Emily watches him for a moment, “You know, by that logic, you should’ve left Jack in protective custody with another family.” Hotch glares at her, “What? It’s true.”

They’re both quiet for a few moments before Emily speaks again, “You didn’t tell her all of this, did you?”

“She would have just said all the things you did. It was easier to just convince her I didn’t love her enough to marry her.”

Emily forces a laugh, “You played on her insecurities.”

“I’m not proud of it.”

“Well,” She sighs, “I don’t think you need me to tell you I think you’re being stupid. I hope you come to your senses before you lose her for good.”

Hotch knocks back the rest of his beer and orders another.

***

When Aaron walks into his office the next morning to find you sleeping on his couch in his fleece, it’s hard to stifle the tenderness he feels.

He quietly shuts the door and sets down his things before kneeling in front of you. “Hey,” He says softly, hoping not to startle you, “Y/N.” When you don’t stir he hesitantly puts his hand on yours and you groan a little before your eyelids begin to flutter.

When your eyes finally open you stare at him and you smile and he knows what’s happening. Those first few seconds after waking when you don’t remember what’s happened, “Aaron.” You say sweetly and you even reach out to touch his cheek, but then your smile falls and your hand recoils. “Oh my God.” You murmur and sit up, “I’m sorry, I-- I must’ve fallen asleep, I shouldn’t be in here--”

“It’s okay.” Aaron says and watches you struggle out of his fleece. Part of him wishes you would keep it on, “You should go home, get some rest. You’ve been here all night.”

He turns and walks to his desk, thinking you’d leave now, but you still sit on the couch. “When you go home at night… I know you have Jack, but… Does it feel as empty for you as it does for me? Because I can’t… I can’t go home, Aaron. The only reason I could sleep in here last night was because, surrounded by all your things, it felt like you were here.”

He barely looks at you, “Go home, Y/N. I’ll have JJ call you if there’s a case.”

The dismissal feels like a slap in the face. “Yes sir.” You grind out and leave before he can reply.

Everyone watches you storm from the bullpen, but nobody tries to stop you. Hotch has the urge to throw everything off his desk in anger, but there’s a knock at his door, “What?” He snaps in annoyance. It’s Rossi. “I’m sorry, Dave.” 

“Rough morning, huh? I saw Y/N leave, she looked upset.”

“The breakup has been… difficult for her.” He says slowly.

“Just for her?”

“I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.”

“And now?”

He sighs, “Jack asks for her everyday and I miss her even more than he does.”

“Have you told her that?”

“What good would that do either of us?”

“She might not be so angry if she knew you were hurting too.”

“If she knew I was upset then she wouldn’t understand why I broke it off in the first place.”

Rossi’s quiet for a moment, “Emily told me what really happened,” Aaron looks like he’s going to lecture both Rossi and then Prentiss about keeping things private, but Dave holds up a hand, “Aaron, you’ve got to stop punishing yourself for what happened to Haley.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Don’t give me that crap. Do you think Haley would want you and Jack to be alone forever? She’d be so thrilled that Jack has another woman in his life. You would take that away from both of them?”

Aaron’s shaking his head, “You couldn’t possibly know what she would want.”

“I do know that you self destructing this relationship lets Foyet win. You may have killed him, Aaron, but you’re still letting him control you. Just… Don’t let him win.” 

When Dave leaves Aaron paces his office, thinking about Foyet, Haley, Jack, and you. He walks back to his desk, sits down, and unlocks the drawer to his right. There’s a tiny velvet box, sitting there, staring up at him. Mocking him. You see, he had bought you a ring over a year ago and thought about asking you to be his wife every single day since. And every time, he reminded himself what had happened to the last woman he made his wife and he would lock up the ring again.

This time, he pockets the ring and runs out of the office without telling anyone where he’s gone.

***

There’s frantic knocking at your door and for a second you think something’s wrong. You grab your gun and hesitantly approach the door and look through the peephole.

“Jesus, Aaron.” You say as you swing open the door, holstering your gun, “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” He says and walks past you.

“By all means, come in.” You murmur sarcastically. “Did something happen?” You say louder.

Aaron’s looking around your apartment which is in a state of disarray. Clothes and dirty dishes everywhere. Your box of things you took from his place still sits at the door. All the framed photos of you and Aaron or you and Jack have either been taken down or placed facedown on their surfaces. 

“I would have cleaned up if I knew you were coming.” You say.

Aaron looks back at you and really looks at you, “Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?”

You almost laugh, “What the hell is this?”

“Please, just… Humor me.”

You glower at him, “Of course I remember.”

***

The unsub had a child and he was driving like hell to get out of the city before you caught up with him. You and Hotch had ran straight to the car when the team realized the child was missing, peeling away from the curb so aggressively, the rubber burned on the asphalt. 

Hotch is driving the streets like a maniac while you’re on the phone with the rest of the team trying to figure out the way the unsub might be headed. 

“We got a visual he’s heading west on ninth.” 

Hotch made a hurried right hand turn. Derek was still talking and the last thing you heard was his frantic warning that the unsub was running a light through an intersection you and Hotch were coming from. But the warning came too late, the unsub collided with your side of the car so forcefully, the SUV tipped on its side.

You don’t remember much from the accident, but sometimes you were sure you could hear Aaron calling your name. The next time you wake, you’re in a hospital.

“Hey there, babygirl, you gave us quite a scare back there.” Morgan’s squeezing your hand and his face comes into focus.

“Aaron.” You manage quietly.

“He’s fine. Barely even injured, just a concussion. You took the brunt of it. I’m sure he’ll bully his nurses into bringing him in here once he realizes you’re awake.”

You laugh, but it hurts, “Ow.” You murmur, “Did… did you get him? Is the kid okay?”

“Yeah, we got him, he’s back with his parents.”

“Good…” Your vision is going fuzzy, “That’s… good…”

***

The next time you wake up there’s a thumb softly stroking the back of your hand, “Hey.” You know that voice, that sound of relief in his voice. You’re already smiling before you’ve opened your eyes.

“Aaron.” You manage.

You feel his hands on your face and your surroundings start to materialize, “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Are you hurt?” 

He laughs and gently kisses your forehead, leaving his head resting against yours, noses touching, “You almost died and you want to know if I’m hurt?”

You push your head into him even more, wanting to be closer, “I woke up earlier. Morgan said… You had a concussion.”

“Yes. And you have broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a concussion.”

“Hm,” You hum, “Looks like you and Jack are going to have to take care of me for a while.”

“I have something to tell you. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since he hit us.”

You frown, “What is it?”

“When… When the car hit us and you were laying there, I really thought you were going to die and I wasn’t going to get a chance to tell you.”

You frown, “Tell me what, baby?”

“That I love you. I… struggle sometimes to express what I’m feeling, but in our line of work I can’t afford to be. So I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

You smile and your eyes water, “I love you so much.”

***

“Why are you asking about this?” You ask Aaron now, arms crossed across your chest.

“Because, I promised myself then that I would never miss another opportunity to tell you how I’m feeling.”

You make a frustrated noise, “No offense, Aaron, but I’m struggling to deal with my own emotions. I don’t have the bandwidth to carry yours as well.”

He’s shaking his head, “I came here because I needed to tell you that… The things I said to you when we were breaking up, I didn’t mean them.”

“You mean when you told me I wasn’t good enough for you to marry? When you said I wasn’t good enough for you and Jack?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it!” You snap.

“When Haley got killed, I-- I didn’t know how I could, in good conscience, let someone in like that again. And… then… with you, I had let you in without even realizing what I was doing. And then before I knew it, you were asking about marriage and I panicked. I… I couldn’t stand the idea of you having a target on your back because of me--”

“I don’t need you to baby me, I can protect myself.”

“I knew you would say that which is why I convinced you instead that I just didn’t want to marry you.”

Tears ran down your face and Aaron took a step to you, but you move away, “You knew my biggest fear was not living up to Haley, I confided in you about it more than once. And you…”

“I’m sorry. I thought I was protecting you.”

“So, what? Why did you come here?”

He sighs, “Because… I realize I was wrong to push you away. I miss you every second of every day and I don’t want to continue this way.”

“Then what do you want, Aaron?” Slowly, so slowly you think maybe you’re imagining it, Aaron gets down on one knee, “Aaron, no, don’t-- Here? In my disgusting apartment?”

He takes out a velvet box and opens it so you see a ring, “I love you and I don’t care about your messy apartment.” He’s smiling, his eyes watering, “I never thought I’d be truly happy again after Haley, but you changed my life. And you changed Jack’s life, too. I can’t live without you in my life and neither can he. So, Y/N, will you marry me?”

You’re nodding slowly, tears falling down your cheeks. He gets up off his knees and takes your shaking hand and slides the ring on before taking your face in his hands and kissing you tenderly. “I love you so much.” You murmur into his mouth, “Please don’t leave me again.”

“Never,” He pulls away just an inch to kiss your forehead, “Do you want to go tell Jack?”

Your grin widens, “I would love that.”

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[doctorgerth]

A/N: Back at it with the edited matchup scenarios I said I was going to share forever ago. here is the original version of this story. I have a few more of these that I’d like to edit and share with you all, if that’s ok! ❤️

description - Law attempts to alleviate your insomnia with cuddles from everyone’s favorite polar bear.

warnings - tw: insomnia; one joke made towards Law’s lack of ass 🤭

Polar Bear Cuddles (Trafalgar Law)

+ special guest

Word Count: ~850

“If you don’t stop moving, you’re going to sleep on the floor.”

You ignored Law’s groans from beside you as you buried your face into the pillow, sighing helplessly as you too wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep. Maybe suffocation could suffice as a solution? Shaking that thought from your head, you shifted to peer over at Law who stared at you with those ever tired eyes,  “Says you. How long have you been awake?”

“That doesn’t matter.” He squinted back.

“Evading, like always.”

He rolled over onto his back, pinching and rubbing at the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “I was just about to fall asleep until your bony knees jabbed me in my backside, thank you very much.”

“Maybe if you had more cushion back there it wouldn’t hurt as bad.” You stifled a giggle as he grimaced.

“(Name), I swear...”

You sighed once more, flipping over to read 3:17 AM on the clock that sat on your bedside table. You had crawled into bed, supposedly exhausted, at around 11:00 PM, but not once during those four hours did you drift off to sleep. Why did your body betray you? All you wanted was to sleep. Your body felt exhausted, but in recent nights you found it impossible to shut your brain off as you were constantly thinking about one thing and then another. Endless cycles of racing thoughts and anxiety filling your headspace, leaving you numbingly conscious late into the night and even early morning.

Law had diagnosed you an insomniac a few days ago, but he lacked the supplements necessary to alleviate your symptoms. The Polar Tang was currently en route to an island where he could stock up on said supplements, which meant you’d have to suffer from restlessness until then. So, the nights leading up to the arrival were agony, this one no different. Of course, it didn’t help that you recently had lost your teddy bear that almost always assured you a peaceful night’s sleep. You theorized that Law “misplaced” it out of jealousy (you did give the bear more cuddles than him after all), but he always denied it with that cute, flustered face of his. 

Law rose out of bed, yawning as he stretched and slowly shuffled over to the bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” You questioned out loud, groaning when he gave you a small, dismissive wave of his hand in response. You sat up in bed, intently focusing on Law’s padded footsteps receding down the sub halls. A sudden fear that you had driven Law to sleeping in the lounge settled within you and you mentally cursed yourself for being so difficult.

You two both struggled with insomnia in some form or fashion. Whether due to bad sleeping habits, staying up late to work, or anxiety spells, you two have had your fair share of restless nights. As your relationship developed and you came to share residence in his chambers, the sleeplessness mostly subsided. Only on rare occasions, like recent nights, did anxiety reign supreme and keep you awake during the ungodly hours.

Suddenly, his familiar footsteps could be heard once again, followed by some heavier footsteps you couldn’t quite place. When the door opened, you were both relieved and surprised to see Law once more, with a sleepy Bepo in tow who rubbed at his eyes as if still in the process of waking up. He looked adorable in his heart pajamas and matching cap which settled loosely against his left ear. The pair made way to the bed without saying a word and you were more confused than ever. Sighing heavily, Law stated, “Bepo is going to sleep with us tonight to hopefully help you sleep, at least a little. I know it’s not your teddy bear, but...”

With that, Bepo picked you up gracefully, before sliding into the bed space beside his captain. You couldn’t help but find it a little too coincidental that Law’s bed just so happened to be the perfect size for himself and Bepo. He settled you on top of him and the warmth radiating from his fur enveloped you completely. 

You couldn’t help but tangle your fingers into his fur like a child. He was softer than any bed you had ever laid in, fuzzier than any of your teddy bears,  and the low thrumming of his heart beat had your eyes weighing heavy in no time. You sighed contentedly against him, burying yourself further into his fur and fleece pajamas, “Thanks you guys.”

“Goodnight, cap’n. Goodnight, (Name).” Bepo called out in a small, sleepy voice as he cuddled you in tighter. As if you were his teddy bear.

“Goodnight, Bepo. Goodnight, Law.” 

“Goodnight, you two.” Law grunted before burying himself under the covers and into Bepo. Your free hand fell slack on Bepo’s side as you searched for Law. As soon as his fingers tangled lazily with yours, you fell asleep against the bear with a gratified smile on your face, finally getting the sleep you’ve been lacking for days. 

[pbandjesse]

We just got home from Lauren and Femi's wedding!! It was so beautiful!! I feel so happy for them!! I am so glad I got to be apart of their wedding like they were a part of ours.

And today was a good day. It was nice going back to work. I was a little nervous but of course it was fine.

I slept really well last night. I have had an easier time falling asleep and that has made me feel a lot better. It's not perfect for sure but it's been better being back on my regular vitamin schedule and back in our bed.

I woke up at 7 and felt alright. James was in the kitchen having breakfast. I said good morning and went to go get ready. And I felt alright. I was pleased to see James had cleaned the bathtub. Thank you James.

We left here and went to get breakfast and then off to the museum.

It was good to be back. I caught up with my coworkers and talk about the wedding. And then me and Kristen went to go set up the assembly line. But it was all good already so no big deal.

And while I was nervous it was of course fine. And we had the best kids. They were so chill and we'll behaved and excited. They were all really good workers too.

Doing the assembly line was a lot of fun. It was my best intro. But they seemed really on board and they did a good job building the cars. There were a few mistakes but that was all good.

We had a good ten minutes at the car for them to check out and take pictures. And then we were off to lunch. It was nice to get a little break. My throat was hurting from all the talking. I know I'm usually fine talking but I am very out of practice. I'll toughen up again.

After lunch I was just watching Aubrey leading the cannery. She is really good at the younger ages and she was super engaging. She might need some more history and context but it'll come with time. The kids obviously had a blast and that's all that matters.

After I helped get the coin bags back together I went to give James their lunch break. I got to talk to a couple really awesome guests and check in with Mike before he left for another wedding. It's wedding season for sure.

James went to 711 and got me pizza. And I had that in the back office and talked to Aubrey and Joel about the cannery and stuff. And then it was time to go!

I went up front and chatted with Angie and James about the wedding. And it was really nice. And then I made my way into the world.

I got home and cleaned up. My new fleece came. I changed into that and laid down. And would sleep for an hour.

I woke up and got ready for the wedding. I love love love this outfit. Though when I first put it on I noticed that the seams had pulled again and so when James came home I was standing over my sewing machine in my tights zigzag stitching my shirt back together.

James wore their kilt again. And they looked great. And of course we were basically the fidst ones at the wedding. It ended up being in the same area as the whole foods. Which tickled me to no end.

And the wedding was so lovely. Everyone looked great. I love Nigerian clothing. Such rich fabrics and interesting folds and wraps. Lauren wore a regular white dress and Femi wore a great suit for the ceremony but after dinner her and Femi changed into traditional wear and it was so beautiful! It was purple and gold and gorgeous.

The food was also so good. There was plenty I could eat and I got to try some great stuff. Like steam buns and jollof rice. And I got to dance with James and just regular dance. I got to talk to people. About art and work and our wedding. And I just felt so happy.

The people at our table were college friends of Lauren and were very fun talk to. The one guy asked me what it's like to be in love. And I told him it feels like breathing but it's also a choice. It's not an accident that I love James. I'm just really lucky that it's so easy still.

Me and James played Cornhole outside. I got a hole in one on my in first shot! And I won the whole game. So that was fun. And then my favorite part of the night was the money dance?? Where everyone danced and threw $1 bills on and at Femi and Lauren and it was so funny seeing they sweeping up the money.

Congrats to them. I am so excited for them. I'm so excited we are both married now. I'm so happy.

We both have work tomorrow. James with the desk, me with the market. So I had to slowly get us out of there. James had to hug everyone before we could go. I was telling jokes to Dante and some of the guys. But I was cold and ready to get to bed.

James was a little tipsy. And very silly. I drove home. There was basically no where to park so we had to circle the block for a bit. But we did find a spot eventually. Just down the street where we never park so it felt weird. But that is alright.

And now we are showered and in bed. Sweetp tried to get in the shower too because he's a goober.

But we just got an email from our photographer with the unedited pictures for us to pick!! Ahh!! We're just gonna peak. It's to late to chose. But I'm excited. The love continues.

Jess is coming tomorrow. And I have the market. And I hope it's just a really beautiful day.

Sleep good everyone. Take care of each other!! Goodnight!!

[falcqns]

Free Fall

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader (First Person POV)

Chapter Summary: You finally work up the courage to tell Henry about your daughter, but he doesn’t react well

Word Count: 1098

Warnings: Mentions of childbirth, fluff, mentions of mental illness (mainly post partum depression), swearing, slight angst.

A/N: hope you enjoy!

chapter one | 

Chapter Two:

The next morning you were awoken at 4:30 am sharp by your daughters cry. You sat up and grabbed her out of her bassinet, and immediately latched her to your breast, to nurse her. 

You took a quick look at your phone, but seeing nothing important, you left it charging on your nightstand, before standing up with Lavender securely eating in your arms and heading to the kitchen for coffee. 

You skimmed over the call sheet for the day while the coffee brewed, and realized you only had an hour and 15 minutes to get yourself, as well as a baby and a diaper bag for the day ready.

Your coffee finished brewing, and you put in your favourite mug before taking it, as well as Lavender, who had finished eating into the bedroom. 

You changed her diaper before dressing her in a white diaper shirt, some mustard yellow muslin shorts, with a matching yellow fleece sweater and headband, along with white socks. After you laid her down in her swing which sat on the other side of the dresser, you began to get yourself and the diaper bag ready. 

You pulled out a few more outfits, definitely more diapers than you would need but knowing that she was still technically a newborn, she’d probably use them all. You added some wipes, and a few of her favourite stuffies and soothers.

You didn't bother changing your outfit too much, other than the shirt which currently has baby spit and breastmilk on it, opting to leave on your grey sweatpants. 

You glanced at the clock, before heading into the bathroom to brush your hair and teeth, and wash your face.

Once you were fully ready, Lavender had drifted off to sleep in her swing, and you didn't have to leave for another half hour, instead opting to go over your lines.

Lavender, to your surprise, stayed asleep for the remainder of the half hour, and when you moved her to her car seat. She woke up when the car started a few minutes later, but didn't cry. Instead, her little head turned and seemed to gaze out the window. 

You smiled at her through the baby mirror, before focusing on driving. 

The closer you got to set, the more nervous you got. You knew everyone was going to be supportive, especially Michelle, Rebecca and Vanessa, but you were worried about how Henry was going to react.

You two worked very closely, and became friends almost immediately after meeting. So much so, that you considered him your best friend. The best friend that you told everything to, except the fact that you had a daughter he didn't know about. 

You pulled into the parking lot a few moments later, and quickly took notice of who was and who wasn't there yet. So far, only Michelle, Rebecca, Simon and Tom were there. You pulled into your parking space, and turned off your car. 

You hopped out of the vehicle just in time to see Tom walking towards you. You smiled and waved, which he returned.

“Hey! How are you feeling about this?” Tom said, as you grabbed your purse and diaper bag, before hitting the unlock button on your side console to get your daughter out. 

“I’m a little nervous, mainly about Henry’s reaction.” You said, as the door glided open, revealing Lavender, who had once again fallen asleep. 

“How so?” Tom asked, before taking the diaper bag off of your shoulder to you could lift the carseat off the base.

“Thanks,” You said, and lifted the seat. “I’m worried because him and I tell each other everything and I’m worried he’s going to be mad that I hid this from him. I mean, I know she's not his or anything but I’m just worried.”

Tom nodded, as the two of you made your way on to set. You silent hopes of being able to get Lavender settled in before introducing her to everyone was shattered when you turned the corner to the trailers and saw Rebecca coming out of hers, and spotting the two of you. 

Her eyes were suddenly clouded with confusion when she saw Lav.

“Y/N, did you have a baby?” She said. You smiled, feeling a blush start to creep onto your face. You nodded.

“Yeah. She’s two months old.” You said. Rebecca immediately smiled, and brushed her finger over your daughters cheek. She pulled her hand back, and took the diaper bag from Tom. The two of you headed to your trailer, while Tom was stopped by McQuarrie.

“She’s beautiful! What’s her name?” She said, looking down at her once more.

“Lavender,” You said. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, I was never asked if I had any kids, and then I just didn't know how to tell you,” you said, quietly. 

“Dude,” She said, as you guys arrived at your trailer. “It’s totally okay. Everyone's going to love her!” She said, and watched as you set the carseat on the bed and took her out. 

“I hope so. Do you wanna hold her?” You asked, and Rebecca immediately nodded, holding her arms out for the little girl. You smiled and handed her off. 

Lavender woke up, but didn't cry, instead just gazed up at Rebecca. 

Rebecca held Lavender the entire way to the make up trailer, with you walking beside her, diaper bag in tow. 

You walked in first, so you could hold the door open for Rebecca.

Everyone in the room gasped. 

“Oh my god! Did you have another baby Rebecca?” Simon asked, as he stood up and rushed over to see the baby, followed by Michelle.

“No, uh, I did.” You said, and Simon immediately pulled you in for a hug, while Michelle pressed a gentle kiss to Lavender’s forehead. Simon and Michelle soon switched, Simon going back to admire the baby, and Michelle giving you a hug. 

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you guys,” you said, and Michelle hugged you tighter. 

“It’s totally fine, honey. You’re the parent,” She said into your ear, and Simon nodded in agreement. 

Everyone sat down to get their hair and makeup done. Thankfully you didn't have to wear too much makeup, and your hair just needed to be in a pony for your scenes today. Lavender was passed around to everyone in the hair and makeup trailer, and got lots of cuddles.

Not long after, everyone else had finished, Lavender was handed back to you, and you were the last one in there, your loose hair in your pony just being curled. You heard the door open again and your heart dropped, as you saw the large body of Henry step through.

He smiled at you before his eyes drifted down to where Lavender was sucking her fingers and looking around the room on your chest.

“D-did you have a baby?” He asked, but before you could answer, Eileen, the hair stylist announced you were done. 

You stood up, supporting Lavender’s body. “Just, um, come to my trailer when you're done here, and I’ll explain everything, okay?” You said. He nodded, not meeting your eyes. You walked out and headed back tp your trailer to wait to be  called to set.

You had just laid her down for her morning nap on the bed when you heard Henry enter your trailer. You took a deep breath, but turned towards him.

He cleared his throat before talking. 

“You - had a baby?” He said, looking past you slightly to where Lavender was snoozing.

“I-” You began, before Henry cut you off.

“Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends.” He said, in a hurt tone.

“Henry, I didn't tell anyone here other than Tom and McQuarrie, and they only know because they met me when I was still pregnant.” You said, hopeful that that would calm him down. It only appeared to make him angrier. 

“That doesn't change the fact that you didn't tell me you had a child. You gave birth to a whole ass human, and you didn't think that that was something I deserved to know?” He said, glaring at you.

“Henry, I-” you began again, before you were cut off again.

“I mean its not like you didn't have a chance! We work together every goddamned day, Y/N! You're one of my best friends! We hang out all the time! Why the fuck didn't you tell me?” He said, his voice become louder. 

You walked up to him and led him outside, not wanting to wake Lavender up.

“I'm sorry okay. I didn't know what you would think-” You said, before Henry started to yell.

“WHAT I WOULD THINK? YOU DON’T THINK I WOULDN’T’VE BEEN HAPPY FOR YOU? HELL, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND!” He yelled, clearly hurt and confused at the whole situation.

You stayed quiet, waiting for it to be over.

“I FEEL LIKE I DON’T KNOW YOU AT ALL! I mean for gods sakes I was going to ask you out today.” He said, before turning away from you and running a hand through his hair.

“What? You were going to ask me out?” You said, shocked. 

He looked back at you, that same hurt expression on his face. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than to make it go away.

“You know what? Yes. I was. I have liked you since the moment I met you in pre-production. I have been working up the courage to ask you out because everyone has told me that you liked me too! Everyone has told me you were single, and that you have liked me since BEFORE WE EVEN MET! I’m the idiot for thinking that you actually liked me too. Actually, I’m not even surprised that you hid this from me. You won't even tell me when you have a boyfriend for cryin-” He rambled. 

You felt yourself getting angry and had no interest in stopping it. Eventually, your anger exploded and you lost your mind on Henry.

“YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING HERE! YOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPED TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I HIDE EVERYTHING FROM YOU, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING! FOR YOUR INFORMATION I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND! HER FATHER HASN’T EVEN MET HER BECAUSE HE WOULD RATHER BLOW HIS MONEY AT A CLUB AND SLEEP WITH OTHER GIRLS WHILE HIS GIRLFRIEND IS AT HOME PREGNANT THAT SPEND TIME WITH SAID GIRLFRIEND! SO YOU CAN FUCK OFF HENRY! YOU DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT THE LAST YEAR OF MY LIFE!” You yelled, before storming back into your trailer to comfort your now crying baby, who had awoken when you yelled. 

“Shhhh, baby, shhhh. Mama’s sorry,” You whispered to her, trying to will yourself to not cry. 

Not long after, you were called to do a scene, thankfully not with Henry, but with Michelle. You tucked Lavender into her carseat and gave her a stuffy to hold onto, and headed to set.

You didn't see Henry on your way to set, and you were thankful for that as well. You knew you would have too speak to him about everything, but now was not the time, especially after a fight that big. You walked past his trailer and thought you heard him talking to someone, but dismissed it.

Lavender stayed asleep the whole time you were filming the scene, which only took about an hour and a half.

The rest of the day went smoothly, with Tom or someone holding her while you filmed, or her sleeping in her carseat at McQuarries feet. 

You were glad that you only had one scene with Henry, and you and him didn't have to be close to each other. You took notice of how he kept trying to catch your eye, and how he kept stealing glances at your baby. 

The day came to an end around 7 pm, much earlier than yesterday, and everyone eventually made their way home. You were one of the first ones to go, along with Michelle and Rebecca who wanted to give Lavender some more cuddles and kisses. You said goodbye to them and headed out when you saw Henry walking towards you with Kal in tow.

As you pulled out of the parking lot, you heard your phone go off with a ding, letting you know someone had texted you, likely Henry. You ignored it, and focused on the road, and getting home safe.

You didn't even glance at your phone until an hour later, after Lavender had gone down for the night, until 10, when she’d wake up to eat.

You opened the text and your heart sank when you saw what it said.

“I’m dropping Kal off at home, then I’m coming over. I know you're mad at me but we need to talk.”

Just as you finished reading it, you heard a knock on the door.

[flourgirl]

Waiting On The Warmth

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You accidentally catch a glimpse of Peter’s spider-bite induced abs and it brings up feelings you didn’t know you had.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Just some super fluffy pining from two dorks in love. Also, some swear words.

A/N: I churned this out this morning during my very last architecture lecture of the semester! Hope you guys like it <3

“I watched you get undressed I must have turned bright red 'Cause I couldn't stand to face you 'Cause I liked what I saw And maybe we should just be friends” -Like or Like Like, Miniature Tigers

“It’s so cold,” you whined, rubbing your arms in an attempt to keep warm. You had only been in New York for five months and your body still hadn’t adjusted to the low temperatures. “Is nobody else cold? Is this just how you guys live?”

Midtown was too cheap to turn up the heat in the winter, meaning the school was only as warm as the concrete walls could make it. Even your chunky turtleneck wasn’t enough to suffice and your winter coat was just too bulky to be wearing around.

“Y/N, it really isn’t that cold. It’s only, like, 40 degrees. Plus, it’s October. The worst is yet to come,” Ned reminded you, your classmates filing into the auditorium to watch Principal Morita’s annual drug safety presentation.

You continued in agony, your teeth starting to chatter. Sure, it wasn’t even freezing temps, but where you came from, winter just meant that you had to throw on a hoodie before you left the house.

The crowd of students jostled you around, and you huddled close to Peter, who had quickly become your best friend. You didn’t know what you’d do if the two of you hadn’t been paired up in chemistry class. Probably sulk around and not talk to anybody.

“Are you actually that cold?” Peter asked, smiling down as you held onto his arm to keep from getting separated from the group. You nodded, your brows furrowed from watching kids pass by wearing nothing but t-shirts. 

“Here, come on.” He pulled you aside as Ned, MJ, and Betty saved your seats. You watched gratefully as Peter proceeded to peel off his sweatshirt and hand it to you. The only thing was, his shirt was stuck to the inside of it, exposing the lower part of his torso for a split second.

Peter Parker had abs. Like a whole six pack. Is that really what had been hiding under his oversized sweaters and flannel button downs? Was he some kind of undercover student athlete?

You snapped yourself out of your daze, blinking back at Peter as he held out his sweatshirt for you to take, hoping that he couldn’t see how much you were blushing. Sure, he had always been cute to you, but this was different. Did you really think your Lego-building lab partner was hot?

“Thanks,” you said, sheepishly accepting his offer and slipping into the warm fleece material. Even though Peter wasn’t super big, it still hung off you like a dress, making you feel like you looked like a toddler. Nevertheless, you reveled in how much better you felt now that you weren’t absolutely freezing.

“You look good. Come on, let’s sit down before we get yelled at.” When he grabbed your hand to pull you to where the rest of your friends were sitting, as the two of you often did, your heartbeat suddenly got faster.

The two of you slumped into your auditorium chairs, and you were now hyper aware of how close you and Peter always sat. Your arm was against his, and you could tell that even in just his short sleeved shirt, he was still really warm. 

You had never noticed it whenever the two of you hugged, but his sweatshirt smelled really good. A light, clean smell that made you wonder if May had some fancy brand of laundry detergent that you needed to ask her about.

It seemed like hours before the overdramatic safety ad was over and the drama club had performed their cheesy skit on drunk driving. 

Peter leaned close to you, whispering in your ear, “Did you know Flash volunteers for this thing every year? He thinks it’ll get Sally Avril to notice him, but it never does.” 

“Uh, yeah, he’s such an idiot,” you laughed awkwardly. His face had been so close to yours. Normally, you wouldn’t even notice, but that all changed when you found out about Peter’s secret six-pack.

You shifted in your seat, trying to scoot away from him so you could brush these dumb feelings aside and not ruin your friendship. Last time you checked, MJ had told you that he had a crush on Liz Allan. Little did you know, Peter’s spidey-senses could tell something was off.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking at you, making you notice how pretty his eyes were. Stop it, you begged yourself, you’re just friends. Good friends. Friends that cuddle during movie nights and wipe crumbs off each other’s faces and… shit.

You liked Peter. “Uh, yeah. I’m just super bored, you know?” you tried to assure him, wondering when this stupid thing would end so you could head off to the computer lab. 

You needed to focus on your programming assignment and not how cute Peter’s hair looked when it was messy. It was honestly way too much for you to handle at this point. 

Your leg bounced up and down, desperate for Principal Morita to wrap up his final warnings to the students. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before it was over and you were scrambling out of the auditorium away from Peter, hoping your silly little crush would go away by the time school ended.

----------------

Peter had no idea what was going on with you, but you were acting really weird. It had been bothering him ever since this morning when you practically ran away from him without a word. Did his sweatshirt smell really bad and you were just leaving to take it off in private to not hurt his feelings? He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Usually, he’d wait by your locker at the end of the day so the two of you could walk home together, but maybe you needed some space. Except he remembered the two of you had to watch Honey, I Shrunk the Kids for homework and somehow analyze the experimental process of inventing Wayne Szalinki’s wacky ray gun.

“Hey,” he greeted you, watching as you shoved your notebooks in your backpack without even looking at him. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s just head to your place and get this stupid movie over with,” you sighed. Peter was shocked. He thought you were excited to have an excuse for a movie night during the school week. You were still wearing his sweatshirt, though, so at least he knew that he didn’t stink.

You walked about two feet further from him than you usually did, and he thought about if someone saw you two on the street, they’d think you were strangers. He closed the distance between the two of you, preventing you from wandering any further unless you wanted to run into a parking meter.

Even if you were mad at him for some reason,  the awkward silence let Peter appreciate just how cute you looked in his sweatshirt. He wondered if he should just give it to you, since it looked way better on you than it ever had on him.

She looks pretty in red, he thought, which surprised even him. He watched as you trudged down the sidewalk, your shiny hair bouncing in the cold air. Did you always look this good?

Peter usually spent most of his lunch period daydreaming about Liz that he had never even thought of you in a romantic way. But seeing you all bundled up in his clothes had given him all these mixed up feelings that he couldn’t shake.

When the two of you got to his apartment, Peter’s head had already been flooded with thoughts about what it would mean if he did have a crush on you. It would ruin the friendship for sure. 

There was no way that you were interested in him like that. Is that what was going on? Was him giving you his sweatshirt too romantic that it made you this awkward around him?

“Hello, earth to Peter,” May said, waving her hand in front of his face to get him out of his head. “I asked what you wanted for dinner? Y/N said she’s cool with anything, so it’s just up to you and me. I was thinking we could try out that new Greek restaurant down the street. What do you think?”

“No!” Peter blurted out, surprising both you and May. “Uh, I mean, I don’t know if I’ll like eating there, you know? I think we should stick to something safe. Something that we know. How about Chinese?” He wasn’t just talking about food, but he hoped that neither of you could tell.

“Uh, okay. Whatever you say, squirt,” May sighed, giving Peter a pat on the shoulder before going to ruffle through the drawer of take out menus. “You guys want the usual? Pot stickers, lo mein, and sesame chicken, right?”

“Yeah, that works!” you called out from the sofa. Peter was relieved to see that you were returning to your usual perkiness as he sat down next to you, making sure to leave a good couple of inches between the two of you.

In just twenty minutes, things were starting to feel normal again. You were chowing down on your favorite foods and discussing the plausibility of shrinking objects. After about an hour, you were snuggled up to him laughing as the son get carried away by a bee. 

Slowly, your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned your head onto Peter’s shoulder, and he decided that you looked too peaceful while sleeping for him to do anything about it. You smelled like vanilla and cinnamon, and he thought about how he could get used to having you by his side like this.

You woke up to the loud soundtrack of tubas and stringed instruments to see the credits playing. You sat up, smoothing down your hair and adjusting the many layers that you had snuggled into. 

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Peter whispered, laughing a little bit as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

“What did I miss?” you yawned, lifting your arms in the air to stretch them. 

“Nothing much. The son gets the girl and they eat a really big turkey at Thanksgiving.”

“Okay, cool,” you said, slumping back down into the soft cushions of the couch. “Glad you were here to watch it with me.” 

You felt a lot better than this morning. Even if your feelings hadn’t disappeared, you had come to terms with the fact that you had a crush on your best friend, even if you were never going to tell him about it.

“May went out on a date,” Peter told you, trying not to think about how much he liked having you so close to him. “She said she wouldn’t be back until later.”

The two of you sat in silence, something that almost never happened with how much you both tended to ramble. You didn’t want to go home just yet, but you certainly couldn’t stay with Peter looking at you like that. Is that really how he always looked at you? With sparkling eyes and the sweetest smile you had ever seen?

“I, um, I should really go now. I’ll text you my answers to the homework, okay?” you stammered, throwing the blanket off of you and hurrying to pull his sweatshirt off so you could return it. But of course, you managed to somehow get yourself tangled inside of it. “Fuck! Hang on, just give me a second, I got this.” You didn’t.

“Y/N, calm down. Come on, let me help you,” Peter offered, easily lifting the sweatshirt off your head, only to be met with your pouty expression. His face was so close to yours, and you felt like you were about to faint.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, worry written all over his face. “I know you said you were bored this morning, and I’m sure you’re just tired and ready to go home, but did I do something to upset you? You’ve been acting, well… strange.”

You looked down at your socks, which had little dogs printed on them, unable to look Peter in the eyes. His soft brown eyes that you could just stare at for hours. 

“No, um, nothing’s wrong, Peter,” you lied.

“Then why won’t you look at me? Please, Y/N, if something’s been bothering you, I need to know.” You peered up to look at him, his brows furrowed and his stare intense. You just needed to come out and say it. He’s your best friend. Nothing has to change.

“Have you been working out?” you asked. It was all you could muster at this point.

“Uh, what?” Peter replied, surprised that that’s what you had been thinking about this entire time. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, um, I saw your abs this morning, and I figured maybe you’ve been working out to impress Liz or something, and so I just wanted to know, you know, if that’s what was going on.”

He paused for a moment, and you could tell he was thinking really hard about what to say next.

“Y/N. I need to tell you something.” Oh god, here it comes. He knows. He knows you like him and he’s about to shut you down before your crush gets even more out of hand than it already is.

“I’m Spider-Man. That’s, uh, that’s where my abs came from.” What the fuck? Your eyes widened in shock as you tried to register what he had just said.

“Wait, what? How? When? Where?” You couldn’t believe it. Your dorky friend from Queens was New York City’s friendly neighborhood superhero?

“It’s a lot to explain,” he sighed, plopping down on the couch and motioning for you to do the same. You reluctantly sat down next to him. “You have to promise me that you won’t tell anybody.”

“Of course not, Peter,” you assured him, holding out your pinky to let him know that you were serious. He locked his pinky with yours and smiled, a wave of relief washing over him now that he didn’t have to keep secrets from you. Well, at least not the secret of his crime fighting alter-ego. 

“Now, come on, Y/N. Tell me what’s the matter. I know you haven’t been upset all day over the fact that I have abs, right?”

You shook your head, feeling a blush spread across your cheeks. Did he have super senses that could tell how nervous you were? Your throat was suddenly dry at the thought, but you knew that it was now or never.

“I like you! Like, in a more than friends way. I never realized it until this morning, but I really like your hair and the way you smell and I know this is all silly because you like Liz and not me, and that this is probably going to ruin our friendship and—”

Before you could start crying any harder, Peter cut off your rambling with a kiss. You pulled away, wiping away your tears to see the smile you knew and loved on your best friend’s face.

“I like you too. In, uh, a more than friends way,” Peter admitted, tucking a stray piece of your hair back into place. His hand lingered a couple seconds longer against your cheek than necessary.

“Wait, really? You’re not just saying that because you feel bad for me right now, right?” You could feel the butterflies fluttering around inside you like crazy, hopeful at the fact that maybe things weren’t going to be as bad as you had thought.

“Nope, I promise,” he said, holding out his pinky to mimic your actions just a few minutes ago. You brought your hand up to take it, grinning as you felt your heart rise from the pit of your stomach. “I like you a lot. You can keep the sweatshirt, by the way. It suits you.”

You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly before pulling back to rest your forehead against his, grinning ear to ear. “So, uh, what now?”

“Well,” Peter started, “How about a date? We could go to that Italian restaurant you like so much, or maybe go ice skating at the hockey rink.”

“No ice skating,” you replied. “You know I’m hopeless on skates, and I’ll probably complain about how cold it is. But I think I could fit a dinner date in between washing my hair and re-watching New Girl. I don’t know. I’ll have to check my schedule.”

“Shut up, dummy,” Peter laughed, playfully flicking you on the forehead. 

“Ouch,” you whined. “Fine, Friday. 7 o’ clock. Russo’s. Be there or be square.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he agreed, gently kissing the little red mark he had just made, before bringing his lips closer to yours.

But before he could kiss you again, May was walking through the front door.  “Alright, kiddos. I’ve got leftovers! Loaded mashed potatoes and raspberry cheesecake and oh! Am I interrupting something? Is this finally a thing?” 

She waved her hand at the two of you, Peter’s face dangerously close to a girl that he had spent months telling May was “just a friend.” The two of you stared awkwardly, both flushed and flustered. 

“Aunt May,” Peter groaned, shooting her an annoyed look.

“Oh, okay. Message received. I’ll be going to my room now. Have fun,” she chimed, shutting her bedroom door behind her, before eventually cracking it open ever so slightly. “But not too much fun!”

You giggled, pulling Peter into another kiss before he could keep on moping over how mortified he was. Maybe your friendship with him really was never going to be the same, but as long as you got to keep kissing his stupidly adorable face and stealing his silly sweatshirts with science puns on them, you didn’t mind at all.

----------------

Taglist: @hommyy-tommy @itsgonnabeohtay @alltimekyn @allycat449-blog @greatpizzascissorstaco @dummiesshort @parkerpeterparker2004 @letssee2468 @parkerlovebot @alytavzla @yourbiggestspiderfan @silentium-tais-toi @jailcalledlife @orangesodafoam

P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist!

[theladyofdeath]

The Perfect Gift {Rowaelin}

Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous.

This has been a hard Christmas for everyone, @snelbz​ and I included, so I apologize for my lack of posts. In years past, Christmas fics have been my favorite to write and post, but this year...I lacked any Christmas spirit, whatsoever. However, as that has been the case for many of us, hopefully these last few holiday fics will give you a little boost of holiday spirit. (;

Written with Shelb, of course.

Rowan got the same gift for Christmas every year: working overtime from the week before Christmas until after the New Year. 

It left him exhausted, hardly able to keep his eyes open as he pulled onto his street. He longed for his apartment, even if he wasn’t sure if he was going to the fridge for a beer or heading straight to bed.

It had been one of those days.

It didn’t help that he had to drive slower, being extra cautious, because of the heavy snowfall. 

He parked in the lot, thankful that there was a spot near the staircase and as he brought the car to a stop, he dragged a hand down his face.

Thankfully, he’d be off tomorrow and would celebrate the holiday with his friends. Before turning right back around to be at work the day after Christmas.

With a yawn, Rowan pulled himself from the car and trudged up the stairs towards his apartment. As he approached, however, he realized he could hear festive music playing from within and he looked up to find a large, and very glittery, wreath hanging on his front door.

He reached for the knob and found it unlocked, which it certainly hadn’t been when he’d left for work this morning.

He slowly pushed it open, and froze.

Aelin Galathynius was up on a stepstool, reaching up high to place a star on the top of a Christmas tree.

It wasn’t his Christmas tree.

Rowan didn’t have a Christmas tree. 

Rowan had zero Christmas decorations, had nothing that resembled the holiday whatsoever. 

Aelin, as she shook her Christmas-pajama-ed ass to the obnoxiously loud Christmas music streaming through his bluetooth speaker, apparently disapproved of that fact.

Rowan cleared his throat, and loudly shut the front door behind him.

She yelped and nearly dropped the sparkling tree topper, but righted herself and turned around to look at him. “Oh. Hey.”

Rowan had to fight off another yawn threatening to take over, but he felt a small delight in unexpectedly seeing his best friend. “What are you doing, Ace?”

“You’re off early,” she said, ignoring his way question and hopping off the stool. She carefully placed the star on the coffee table, which looked like a tiny snowman village. “You don’t usually get off work until, like, ten on Christmas Eve.”

“Lorcan sent me home, said I’d been working too many hours,” he said, leaning against the back of his door.

“Great,” she said, grinning. “Here, go put these on.” She held out a pair of pajama pants, that were identical to the pair she wore.

He blinked at the red and green Christmas trees displayed across the gray, fleece fabric. “Are we really doing this?”

Her mischievous grin deepened. “Oh, most definitely.”

He shook his head, slowly. “You know, I planned on coming home, taking it easy, going to bed early…” He trailed off, taking the pajama bottoms from Aelin, once she shoved them into his chest.

“On Christmas Eve?” Aelin asked, one golden brow raised. She grabbed her phone off the side table and turned the volume down, just a little bit, as some classic, cheesy song played in the background. “You can take it easy, but we’re going to be festive, damn it.”

He sighed, knowing there was no way he was going to win the current argument, and made his way back towards his bedroom. Decorations lined all of the walls and there was some sort of lit up knickknack or garland sitting on every surface of the apartment. He paused and turned back to look at her. “How long have you been here?”

Glancing down at her watch, she said, “I got off work at two-thirty today, like a normal person, so…” She shrugged.

“So two-thirty, then?” He asked, starting his walk back to his room again.

Aelin laughed. “Pretty much.”

Rowan just shook his head as he stumbled into his bedroom. The moment he closed his bedroom door, he stared lovingly at his bed.

His perfect bed.

So comfy, so warm.

With another wide yawn, he kicked off his boots, then his jeans, and slipped on the pajama pants.

He hated to admit just how soft and cozy they really were.

And it didn’t make him want to not climb into bed any less. 

By the time he made it back into the living room, Aelin had forgotten about putting the star on top of the tree and was pulling a tray of gingerbread man cookies out of the oven.

“You need a life,” Rowan announced. “This is…”

“Amazing?” Aelin supplied.

Rowan chuckled. “A bit much.”

She smiled, setting the tray down on the stovetop. “We only get one Christmas a year. Why not make it count?”

He rolled his eyes and turned, finding a festive movie menu on his television, with a pile of blankets on his couch, two mugs of hot chocolate and decorated cookies on the coffee table. He looked back into his room and wondered how he hadn’t noticed his comforter missing from his bed.

“Oh no,” he said, letting his head fall into his hand.

“Oh, yes,” Aelin said, smirking as she moved past him and flopped onto the couch.

“Christmas movies are cheesy,” Rowan muttered.

“Not all of them,” Aelin protested, crossing her arms.

“Yes, all of them, every single one,” he argued.

“You're such a Scrooge,” she teased, picking up her mug of hot chocolate. When she pulled the mug away, she had a thick, whipped cream mustache. 

Rowan couldn’t help his laugh as Aelin’s eyes narrowed. She quickly sucked in her top lip and licked it off, a gesture that made Rowan’s laughter quickly fade.

Rowan and Aelin had been best friends their entire lives. They'd been there for each other through every high and low of their lives, whether that was Aelin graduating top of her class from the University of Terrasen or Rowan’s father leaving just shy of his fourteenth birthday.

Rowan had been in love with her for years.

She had no idea.

“Stop looking at me, asshole,” Aelin muttered, taking another sip from her mug.

Rowan cleared his throat and shook off the moment with a sneaky grin. “If only I had my camera. That would’ve made good future blackmail.”

Aelin rolled. “No need to save blackmail, you already scare every guy I meet away with your looming height and endless broodiness.”

Rowan chuckled. If only she knew. “Alright, Ace. What horrid movie are you forcing me to sit through?”

“A childhood classic,” she said, and pressed play, letting the sound of The Grinch fill the room.

Rowan narrowed his eyes and sat next to her on the couch. “You better be happy Jim Carrey is my favorite actor.”

“Is he?” She asked, with mock surprise. “I had no idea.”

Rowan grabbed a cookie from the plate and bit Santa’s head off. It seemed the best response to Aelin’s sarcasm.

The movie started — Rowan detested movies that spoke in rhyme — and the two settled in to watch. After only a couple of minutes, Rowan was yawning.

“You better not fall asleep,” Aelin said, raising an eyebrow as she looked over at him.

“So bossy,” he said, leaning forward to grab his hot chocolate. He put the mug to his lips and drank. Pausing the movie, he looked over at her. “Is there alcohol in this?”

“You’re asking me if there’s alcohol in it?” Aelin asked, shooting him a grin.

“Of course there is,” he muttered, taking a sip. He could taste a slight hint of rumchata through the cocoa and extensive whipped cream.

Aelin was good at a lot of things.

At the top of the list was a solid mug of hot cocoa.

The titles played, and The Grinch began.

Rowan used to love that movie, back before his father left and Christmas still felt like Christmas.

Aelin had had a hard childhood, too, and Rowan envied her for still loving Christmas. After all those years, she still adored the holiday. Still adored the magic of the day.

Rowan had a much more difficult time getting into the holiday spirit.

That could have been why he chugged the hot chocolate and Aelin was up getting seconds for them both before the titular character was even on screen. That pattern held until an hour later, when Aelin was grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the freezer, the Rumchata long gone and Rowan was hollering from the living room, voice beginning to slur, “Like, if he doesn’t like Christmas, why doesn’t he just move? I’m sure there’s a community of people somewhere who hate Christmas just as much as he does.” Aelin sniggered as she set down the bottle, but he went on. “And for that fact, the Who’s just need to let the damn man live his life. He’s not hurting anyone up on his mountain.”

“He kind of is,” Aelin argued, closing the fridge and heading back to the living room. “I mean, he scares everyone and makes people miserable on purpose.”

“Yeah, because everyone’s so damn judgmental,” Rowan said, his head falling back against the couch cushions. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you love the Grinch so much,” Aelin grinned, falling onto the couch next to him. “Save for being green, you’re practically the same person.” 

“Not true,” Rowan scoffed. “I would never wear the outfit of a German yodeler.” 

Aelin rolled her eyes. “First of all, it’s called a lederhosen. Secondly, you’re so full of shit.” 

Rowan was unable to control his grin. 

“I could see you in lederhosen, by the way,” Aelin continued, sipping from her mug. Rowan followed her lead, the warm sensation of whiskey trailing down his throat.

“I don’t think it’s my style,” he snorted, propping one of his feet onto the coffee table.

“You’d rather wear the table cloth?” Aelin asked, giggling quietly.

“I think that’s more of your style,” he chuckled, tossing back the rest of his mug.

Aelin cocked her head and looked over at him. “Topless, huh? You think that’s my look?”

Rowan began to backpedal. “No, I mean- I just meant it was a skirt.”

Aelin began to howl, Rowan’s cheeks bright red.

“You’re something else, Whitethorn, you know that?” Aelin asked, downing the liquor in her mug.

“In a good way?” Rowan asked.

Aelin looked at him through his side eye and remained silent as she tossed an arm around Rowan’s shoulder. “You’re an interesting man, you know that?”

The alcohol he’d consumed, coupled with the scent of her around him was nearly too much and he was unable to stop his hand from resting on her thigh. “Interesting, huh? Is that a good interesting or a bad interesting?”

Aelin’s own cheeks darkened, but her fingers began to draw small circles into his shoulder. “Good interesting. You’re never boring.”

She lifted her arm off his shoulder, but was glad when his hand didn’t leave her thigh.

“I’ll take interesting,” he went on, even if all he could think about was his hand. His hand that rested on her thigh. Her thigh, which was warm and unmoving. “As long as it’s a compliment.”

Aelin cocked her head to the side, and golden strands fell into her face. “And what do you think of me? Am I interesting?”

“You’re…” His words trailed off as he turned his head to the side and looked into her eyes. Those turquoise and gold eyes that made his knees weak and his heart ache and made him feel like his chest was going to burst. “...dangerous.”

Aelin took a sip of her whiskey, licking the last sip off her lips. “How am I dangerous?”

“First of all, you have no filter,” Rowan said, unable to hide his smile. “You say whatever is on your mind without the consequences.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Aelin asked, brow raised, still fully aware of Rowan’s hand on her thigh. 

“I say it has both its good and bad qualities,” Rowan followed.

Aelin laughed, quietly, then said, “And what else makes me so dangerous?”

“Exactly what you’re doing right now,” he said, taking a deep breath, regretting it immediately when he realized how close to Aelin he was. The smell of her spice and vanilla perfume him and if he would have been standing, he would have fallen to his knees. “You have to have the last word. It’s impossible to win an argument with you.”

“Some people would call that tenacity,” she said, bringing her legs up and tucking them beneath her.

Rowan’s fingers squeezed gently. “Most people would call that stubborn.”

Aelin tossed her head back and laughed and Rowan was powerless to stop himself from leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

As soon as his lips left her skin and he’d realized what he’d done, his eyes went wide.

Aelin only hesitated for a moment before lifting a beautifully sculpted brow. “What was that for?”

“There has to be a reason?” He meant for it to come out as a snarky remark, to match her tone, but it came out nothing more than a whisper.

Aelin slowly shook her head. “No, there doesn’t have to be a reason.”

Rowan took a moment to try and figure out what that statement meant. Was it an invitation? Something cordial to let him know that kissing her cheek was okay? Did it mean that she wanted something more?

The two fell back into silence and as the movie played, Rowan continued to ponder Aelin’s reaction to his kiss. He was just about to clear his throat and apologize when lithe fingers and manicured nails finger-combed through his hair.

He nearly purred.

Rowan leaned into her touch and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Aelin move closer as well. He didn’t want to do anything to stop her, didn't want to say anything that would result in her stopping the way she was lightly scratching at his scalp, but he also wasn’t completely positive he wasn’t dreaming.

A thousand emotions rushed him, lust nearing the top of the list. He tried not to let it show, but was certain he was failing as his eyes fluttered shut one more time.

“Feel good?” She breathed.

He made a contented noise, somewhere between a moan and a sigh, and settled deeper into the cushions. With a breathy chuckle, she ran her fingers through the front and brushed the stray strands out of his face. He cracked one of his eyes open and looked at her through a heavy lid.

With his pine green gaze on her, Aelin’s cheeks heated. “What?”

He gently shook his head, but continued looking at her, taking her in. “What's on your mind?”

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Nothing.”

“Liar,” he said, with a grin. 

“Nothing important,” she corrected, her fingers still working their magic.

Rowan watched her for a second before repeating, “Liar.”

“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” She asked, turning the tables on him.

He was quiet for a minute more before he admitted, “I was thinking about how different my night is going than I planned.”

She asked, “Yeah?”

He nodded. “See, I was planning on coming home, downing a beer or two, and passing out.” The smirk he tried to hide broke through. “Instead I find you, dancing around my house, baking cookies and just being all around cheery.”

“Are you complaining?” Aelin asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Not at all,” he replied. “I’m the luckiest guy in Orynth.”

She rolled her eyes, even though her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. “You're full of shit.”

“No, I’m not,” he said, slowly shaking his head. “I mean it.”

Aelin couldn’t hide the smile that grew on her face and when she turned to Rowan, she found a similar smile on his own. The hand in his hair drifted down, a thumb brushing over his cheekbone

“Can I kiss you?” Rowan asked, not letting himself think of the irreparable damage he could be doing on their friendship.

With a smirk, Aelin said, “I thought you already did.”

Rowan hesitated before letting out a breathy laugh. “Well, then can I kiss you agai-.”

Before he could finish, Aelin had leaned toward him, and put her lips on his.

That hand on her though tightened and her other hand framed the side of his face, and Rowan Whitethorn forgot how to breathe as he kissed Aelin.

When they finally pulled apart, both beaming at each other, Rowan wrapped an arm around her and they settled onto the couch.

“I hope you have a pretty good present for me tomorrow,” Aelin said with a grin.

Rowan laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t bother to tell her that no present would ever compare to this night, she was present enough.

[buckybarnesdollface]

Mountainside: Chapter 1

Summary:  What happens when the quinjet goes down in the Austrian Alps and reader gets snowed in with Bucky at the safe house he brought her to in the mountains?

Warnings: Female reader, just fluff in this chapter

          “It’s not much farther,” Bucky urged as I stopped to clutch at a stitch in my side. Our quinjet had been shot down somewhere in the Allgӓu Alps in Austria by a HYDRA drone, and we had been wandering the snowy mountainside for what felt like hours now. The snow was deep, and with every step I took I sunk into it up to my knees. My left arm hung limply at my side, having been injured in the crash, and my legs burned from trudging through the deep snow. I had only been wearing my jumpsuit when we crashed, and although Bucky had insisted I take his jacket I was still chilled to the bone. My teeth chattered, my fingers and toes were numb, and my chest ached with every ragged breath I took as a result of the frigid air and my physical exhaustion.

           “Easy for you to say,” I snapped weakly. “Your body can withstand a hell of a lot more than mine.”

           “I offered to carry you.”

           I shot him a disparaging look. “I may not be in great shape right now, but I still have my dignity.”

           “Let me know what your dignity is worth when we reach the safehouse and you can’t even move because your legs are like lead,” Bucky replied with a shrug, and then he trudged ahead of me, leaving me to glare at his back as I mustered up the strength to keep going.

           Truth be told, I was grateful that it had been Bucky on this mission with me. He was strong, smart, resourceful, calm in a crisis, and he knew this area well from when HYDRA still controlled him. If it wasn’t for him, even if I had managed to drag myself out of the wreckage of the jet, I would have had no idea how to navigate the mountain to get to the safehouse, let alone that there even was a safehouse nearby. So, despite how frustrating it was to see how easily he was handling this while I felt like death, I was glad to have him as a companion.

           I almost cried in relief as we broke through the trees and the safehouse came into sight. It was just a small cabin nestled in the trees on the mountainside, but right now it offered a place to rest my aching body and warm up and it might as well have been a goddamn castle.

           “Thank god,” I groaned, sinking to my knees in the snow. Bucky turned and cocked a dark eyebrow.

           “You realize now you probably won’t be able to get back up, right?” he pointed out, and I shrugged.

           “I don’t even care. We made it. I’ll crawl the rest of the way if I have to.”

           Bucky rolled his eyes, and then he was slipping his hands under my arms – careful not to jostle the injured one – and hauled me back to my feet. “If you won’t let me carry you, at least let me help you,” he insisted. “Lean on my shoulder.”

           Too tired to argue, I leaned heavily against Bucky’s side. His arm slipped around my waist, and truth be told he all but held me upright as we made our way to the cabin. He pressed a button at the door and then leaned in close to the speaker.

           “Sergeant James Barnes,” he said in a clear, even voice, and then I heard a lock click. Bucky turned the knob and pulled me inside, stomping the snow off his boots on the mat. I tried to do the same, but as Bucky had predicted, my legs felt like lead. “Stay here,” he told me, and then he was grabbing a chair from the small kitchen table, setting it in front of me. He helped me sit before kneeling in front of me and lifting one of my feet to rest it on his knee.

           “What are you doing?” I asked warily.

           “Helping you. You can barely move, you’re so cold and stiff, and if you don’t get these boots off you’ll end up with frostbite.” His fingers were deft as they untied my laces, and then he gently took a hold of my calf and slid off one boot, then the other. Next, he peeled off my wet socks, and I felt my cheeks heat up as he examined my bare feet.

           “The skin’s white – That’s an early stage of frostbite,” he said. “It won’t do damage, but it’ll be uncomfortable. I’m gonna start a fire before we do anything else so I can at least get you warmed up some.”

           I watched as he stood and crossed the room to the small fireplace, arranging kindling and then logs expertly in the hearth. He lit a match, carefully lowering it to the kindling, and within a moment the fire was crackling. He came back over and helped me off the chair and over to the couch. The heat the little fire gave off was a relief after the biting cold of the mountain air, and I let out a soft sigh as I leaned towards the warmth.

           “Not too close,” Bucky ordered, shoving me back into the couch gently but firmly. “If you warm up too fast it’ll put your body in shock. It has to be gradual.”

           “But I’m freezing,” I whined.

           “Taking off that wet jumpsuit would help.”

           I arched an eyebrow at him. “And do what, sit here in my underwear? I have nothing else to wear, Barnes.”

           With a sigh, Bucky pulled the fleece sweater over his head, and then tugged off the blue Henley underneath as well. I coughed uncomfortably, shaking my head.

           “If you think that you stripping down is going to make me want to –”

           “The shirt is for you,” Bucky grumbled, tossing the Henley to me before pulling the sweater back over his head. “Put it on until I have time to search for more clothes.”

           I blushed, caught off-guard as Bucky turned around so I could change. With clumsy fingers still numb with cold, I managed to pull down the zipper in the front of the jumpsuit and shrug the damp material from my shoulders. As soon as my skin was exposed to the air I shivered, and then quickly pulled Bucky’s Henley on over my head, wincing as I lifted my injured arm. The shirt was still warm from Bucky’s supersoldier body heat, and it smelled like mountain air, smoke, and the lingering scent of his body wash he’d used that morning. I pulled it tight around me briefly, grateful to be wrapped in something warm and dry and soft, and then stood and shimmied my legs out of the jumpsuit, letting it drop to the floor. Because Bucky was a good deal taller than me, the shirt fell to my mid-thigh, covering my underwear. Satisfied, I sank back down onto the couch, crossing my legs and shoving my hands under my arms to try and warm them.

           “Okay, I’m decent,” I said wryly, and he turned back around. Something unreadable flashed through his eyes as he looked at me, but it was gone in an instant and then he was coming over to pick up my discarded jumpsuit and hang it over a chair by the fire to dry.

           “Feel any better?” he asked, and I nodded.

           “Yes. Thank you.”

           Bucky grunted his response, heading to the kitchen to rummage through the cupboards. He came back with a first aid kit, and sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of me. “Let me see your arm,” he said, and I frowned.

           “It’s fine, it’s just a scratch –”

           “(Y/N), you’ve been holding it weird and babying it ever since I pulled you out from the wreckage. It needs to be looked at, so let me see it.”

           Something in his tone told me not to argue with him, and I held out my left arm so he could gently roll the sleeve of his Henley up to expose my bicep. He frowned, brows pulling together as he turned my arm over lightly to examine the extent of the damage.

           “It’s not broken,” he finally said, “but it’s pretty badly bruised and that gash is going to need to be cleaned out and stitched up.” He pulled a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the box and soaked a wipe with it before meeting my eyes. “This is going to sting, are you ready?”

           “I just survived a plane crash and a trek over a mountain,” I scoffed. “I think I can handle a little rubbing alcohol.”

           Bucky shrugged, and then dabbed the wipe lightly over my wound. I clenched my teeth, hissing through them, and reflexively pulled my arm away from him. Bucky cocked a dark eyebrow, lips quirking up at the corners, and I glared at him.

           “Not a word,” I grumbled. His eyes sparkled.

           “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

           “Mhmm.”

           Once he was satisfied the wound was clean, he threaded a needle with the nylon thread in the first aid kit and then gave me an expectant look. “Are you going to be okay with the actual stitches?” he asked wryly, and I scowled.

           “Just hurry up and get it over with, Barnes.”

           Bucky was very meticulous as he stitched up my wound, almost professional in his movements. I wondered if he had learned this particular skill in the war, or if it was something he had picked up during his time with HYDRA. Or maybe it went back much further than that, to the days when Steve would pick fights with guys twice his size and instead of telling his parents he had to go to the doctor again for stitches, Bucky learned to stitch him up himself. The thought had me struggling to suppress a grin, and Bucky looked up at me with a furrowed brow.

           “Something funny?” he asked, and I shook my head.

           “It’s nothing,” I replied, and he shook his head before continuing his work.

           When Bucky finished, he cut the thread with his teeth and then wrapped a bandage around my bicep to cover the stitches. He sat back but narrowed his eyes as he looked at my face. “You got hit in the head,” he pointed out, lifting his flesh hand to run his fingertips just above my eyebrow. I winced; I hadn’t even known there’d been a cut there. “You could have a concussion,” Bucky continued. “Do you have a headache? Ringing in your ears? Blurry vision?”

           I shook my head. “Bucky, I’m fine,” I insisted, slightly exasperated. “Contrary to what you may believe, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve had plenty of field experience, and plenty of injuries to go with it. If I had a concussion, I would know what signs to be wary of.”

           “Let me see your eyes,” he demanded, as if he hadn’t heard me. He held a little flashlight, and I sighed. He shone the flashlight in my eyes and then sat back as he clicked it off. “You’re not concussed.”

           “Which is what I already told you.”

           Bucky pursed his lips. “You may think I’m overreacting and being overbearing,” he said, “but if you had been in this game as long as I have, you’d understand why I’m being like this. Back in the war, as a sergeant I led a firearms team of four men. If one of those men got injured, even something seemingly minor, it not only hindered the whole team, but the injury could also progress into something worse depending on the conditions we were in.” He frowned. “I lost good men to things as mundane as a broken finger or a cut on their leg. So if I’m taking the time to make sure your injuries are taken care of, it’s because I’ve seen things go downhill fast and I’m trying to get out of the habit of losing teammates.”

           I blinked, at a loss for words. To say Bucky and I didn’t speak would be a lie – We talked quite a bit, but it was usually about missions or things Bucky was still trying to learn about the twenty-first century, or Steve. He had never once talked about his time in the 107th. I could tell now why he hadn’t; his eyes were hard, but held a heavy sadness in their depths. I bit my lip.

           “I’m sorry I’m being so difficult,” I said softly. “I think it’s just the whole situation, and because I’m the newest member of the team and still so young, everyone just assumes that I don’t know as much, or I can’t handle myself and need to be looked out for. I just want to prove that I’m just as capable as the rest of you.”

           Bucky’s lips twitched. “I have no doubt that you can take care of yourself, (Y/N), if need be,” he chuckled. “The point of being part of a team, though, is that you don’t have to. It’s great that you’re as independent as you are, but you don’t have to be.” He shook his head ruefully. “It took me a long time to relearn that after HYDRA.”

           “Can I be honest about something?” I asked him, and he nodded.

           “Of course.”

           “When that quinjet went down, I…I was grateful that it was you with me,” I admitted, and then I realized how that sounded and my eyes widened. “I just mean…Out of all our teammates, you’re the best in situations like this, and if anyone was going to get us through this, it’d be you.”

           This time, Bucky actually smiled. “Is that…is that a compliment? From (Y/N)? My god, did we actually die in that crash? Or has hell frozen over?”

           I pursed my lips, but my grin couldn’t be concealed. “Yeah, yeah, soak it up,” I told him, “because it’s probably the only one you’re getting for awhile. They come in short supply.”

           Bucky laughed. “I’ll take it. Now come here and let me clean that cut on your forehead.”

           I leaned forward, and Bucky took an alcohol-soaked cotton ball and dabbed gently at the wound. I sucked in a sharp breath and his hand stilled, but I urged him to keep going. Once it was clean, he applied a butterfly bandage with a delicate touch that was unexpected for hands as large as his. His fingertips smoothed down the bandage and then he sat back.

           “Your turn,” I said, and Bucky’s brow furrowed.

           “What do you mean, I’m fine.”

           “That huge gash along your cheekbone says otherwise.”

           Bucky frowned. “I heal quickly; it’ll be gone by morning.”

           “James.” My voice was stern as I used his real name. He pursed his lips, and I continued. “It’s been how long since the quinjet crashed, and the wound is still deep enough that your layer of soft tissue is exposed. Supersoldier healing or not, it needs to be cleaned and at least covered.” I shot him a wry look. “Teammates take care of each other, remember?”

           “Ouch, using my own lessons against me,” he mocked, and I grinned before soaking a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol and scooting to the edge of the couch to get closer to him. I lifted my good arm to dab gingerly at the open flesh, and Bucky sat there, unflinching, his eyes focused on me the entire time. A butterfly bandage wouldn’t suffice for a gash like this, so I applied a larger bandage to cover it and keep any dirt out until it at least started to heal.

           “There,” I murmured, sitting back, and Bucky grinned.

           “I’m gonna go find you some clean clothes,” he said, “and then why don’t you have a hot shower while I go outside and bring in some more firewood before it gets dark. I don’t know how long we’ll be here and I don’t want us to run out of wood.”

           He disappeared down the hall to what I assumed was the bedroom, and returned a minute later with a pile of neatly-folded clothes in his hands. “They’ll likely be a bit big,” he said as he handed them to me, “but they’ll work. The water’s on, so the shower’s good to go. If you need anything, I won’t be far – The woodpile is just out back on the treeline there.”

           “Alright, thank you,” I said, and he nodded before pulling his jacket on and ducking out the door. Sighing, I pulled myself up off the couch. My legs were still stiff and sore from trudging through the deep snow, but at least now I could stand without feeling like I would topple over. I made my way down the narrow hallway, where I found a quaint little bathroom. I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it, and then stripped bare and stepped under the stream.

           I immediately moaned as the heat from the water seeped through my skin to warm my cold, aching muscles and bones. I stood like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the feeling of being enveloped in warmth, before I lathered shampoo into my hair to hopefully get the smell of smoke and jet fuel out of it. I scrubbed the blood and soot from my skin until it was pink, and then finally decided I should save some hot water for Bucky and dragged myself out of the shower reluctantly.

           I wrapped a towel around my body as I wrung out my hair with another one. Upon examining the clothes Bucky had gotten me, I found a pair of black sweatpants and a wool sweater. I pulled on the sweatpants – They were too loose on my hips and a bit long, but I tied the drawstring tight and rolled up the cuffs and they were actually pretty comfy. I picked up the sweater, but then set it back down and opted to pull Bucky’s Henley back on instead.

           When I came back out to the kitchen, Bucky was just coming through the door and stomping the snow off his boots, a sled piled high with firewood in tow. When he caught sight of me, the same unreadable look from before was crossing his face, but then he cocked an eyebrow.

           “Are you wearing my shirt?” he asked. My cheeks heated, and I shrugged.

           “Maybe.”

           “Did I not give you a sweater to wear?”

           “Yeah, but this one’s comfy,” I said sheepishly, and Bucky snorted.

           “I know it’s comfy, it’s mine.” He shook his head. “I guess you can keep it for now.”

           I grinned. “Good, because I didn’t plan on giving it back.”

           Bucky let out a chuckle, and then started filling his arms with firewood to stack by the fireplace. I went to help him, but he shook his head. “No, I’ve got it,” he insisted. “You just showered, you don’t need to get dirt and sap all over yourself.”

           “Bucky, let me help –”

           “You’ll end up pulling your stitches if you do, (Y/N). Trust me, I’ve got it.”

           I frowned, but I knew he was right. It didn’t take him long to pile it all, and then he was leaning the sled against the wall and stripping out of his jacket and boots.

           “I’m gonna take a quick shower,” he told me. “The cupboards should be stocked with non-perishables; you should see if you can find us something to eat.”

           “Anything in particular you don’t like?” I asked, and Bucky fixed me with an unexpected grin.

           “Doll, I survived how many years on army rations,” he chuckled. “I’ll eat just about anything.”

           With that, he went to shower and I was left to rummage through the cupboards. I was surprised to see so much – Cans of soup, canned fruits and vegetables, boxes of cereal, pasta, and an array of spices and sauces. I opted for a box of spaghetti and a jar of tomato sauce; it would be warm and filling.

           As I filled a pot with water to boil, my stomach growled; with everything that had happened today, I realized that I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before. It wasn’t unusual to go a period of time without a meal on a mission, but after that trek from the quinjet to the cabin I was famished.

           Bucky walked into the kitchen just as I was mixing the sauce into the pasta. His wet hair was messy, as if he’d just run his hands through it, and he’d thrown on a plain black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. He lifted his nose to sniff the air.

           “Smells good,” he remarked. “Spaghetti?”

           “Yep.”

           “When will it be ready?”

           “Now,” I replied, dishing it onto two plates and handing him one. We sat down at the table with our food and a couple of bottles of water I’d found in the fridge, and I couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled from my chest. Bucky cocked an eyebrow.

           “What?” he asked, and I shrugged.

           “I don’t know, this just feels so…domestic,” I pointed out. “You making a fire and bringing in more wood, me cooking us dinner, sitting here and eating together…”

           “It’s nice,” Bucky murmured. “Everything is always so fast-paced and intense; this is a nice break.”

           “Except that our jet was shot down and we’re stranded,” I said wryly, and Bucky shrugged.

           “There are worse places to be.” He looked up over a forkful of spaghetti and grinned. “And worse company to be stuck with.”

           “I’ll take that as a compliment,” I chuckled, and Bucky nodded as he chewed.

           “You should. For instance, if I had been stranded with Sam, I would have buried him under six feet of snow and ice by now.”

           I laughed. “Why is it you two are always at each other?” I asked, and Bucky shrugged.

           “Sam’s a good guy. He just gets on my nerves easily.”

           “Clearly.”

           We finished the rest of our dinner in comfortable silence, and then cleared the dishes. Bucky even helped me clean up the kitchen, and then I curled up in the armchair by the fireplace with a thick blanket while Bucky sank into the couch and pulled out his phone.

           “I suppose now that we’re settled in, I should let Steve know what happened,” he said. He put the phone on speaker and then set it on the coffee table. It only rang once before Steve answered.

           “Hello? Bucky? Is everything alright? Why are you using your cell phone, what’s wrong with your comms?”

           “The comms are down, Steve,” Bucky said calmly.

           “Down? Why are they down?” he demanded, and Bucky and I shared a look; Steve was going to lose it when he found out our quinjet had been shot down.

           “See, that’s the thing,” Bucky said cautiously. “We may have a little problem.”

           Steve’s voice was stern now. “Define little.”

           “We were on our way to Russia when we were spotted by a HYDRA drone and they shot us out of the sky,” Bucky told him. There was silence on the other line for a split second before Steve erupted.

           “What? How did that happen? Are you and (Y/N) alright? Where are you? How long ago did this happen? Why didn’t you call right away?”

           “Steve…Steve!” Bucky cried, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing as Steve went full Dad mode, as Sam and I often called it. “I don’t know how they found us,” Bucky continued once Steve had ceased firing concerned questions. “(Y/N) and I are fine, just some cuts and bruises. The quinjet went down in the Allgӓu Alps in Austria, but we walked to a safehouse that was only about an hour away from the crash site. I didn’t call right away because we had to get to safety before HYDRA realized we’d survived, and then we wanted to warm up and patch up our injuries and settle in before we did anything else.”

           “So you’re in Austria?” Steve asked.

           “Yes.”

           “I didn’t know we had a safehouse in the mountains in Austria.”

           “Natasha knows about it,” Bucky said. “She’ll know how to get here.”

           For some reason, this made me frown. I found it strange that the only two people on the team that knew about this safehouse were Bucky and Natasha. Sam used to joke that they were perfect for each other, since they were both ex-assassins with rough pasts and secretive personalities. They had both sworn they weren’t each other’s type, but maybe that wasn’t entirely true. My mind was suddenly filled with the idea that they had been here together before, and for some reason it left a sour taste in my mouth.

           “Steve, when can you get us out of here?” I asked.

           “Well…I might have some bad news for you guys,” he said, and my brow furrowed.

           “What kind of bad news?”

           “Nat just gave us the coordinates to the safehouse, and for starters, the closest place we could land a quinjet or even a helicopter is about six miles to the east.”

           I sighed. The last thing I wanted was another hike across a snowy mountain, but if it meant I got to go home I could handle it.

           “Okay, no biggie. So what’s the problem?”

           Steve sighed. “Tony just checked the weather. There’s a big storm coming your way – Supposed to be the biggest blizzard Austria has seen in almost a decade. Even if we left New York right now, we’d never make it to you before the winds picked up. We won’t be able to fly out until the storm has passed, probably in a couple of days. I’m sorry, guys.”

           My heart dropped to my stomach. I shook my head. “Steve, no –”

           “Two days is fine,” Bucky interrupted as he spoke to Steve. “We’ve got plenty of firewood, and enough food to last probably two weeks. Take your time, Steve, we’re alright here for a few days. Don’t risk your lives when we’re safe where we’re at.”

           “Speak for yourself,” I muttered under my breath, but of course Bucky’s supersoldier hearing caught it. A mixture of surprise, confusion and hurt crossed his face.

           “Half an hour ago you were content,” he said. “What changed?”

           My face heated, because I didn’t have an answer for him that didn’t sound ridiculous. I wasn’t even really sure what my problem was. I shook my head. “Nothing,” I told him, and then louder to Steve I said, “We’ll survive a couple of days, Steve. Be careful, but come as soon as it’s safe.”

           “Hang in there,” he replied. “Hopefully the storm won’t last long and we can get you out of there.”

           Bucky hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Things were silent for a few moments, but then he fixed me with an inquiring look.

           “What was that about?” he asked. I frowned, feigning confusion.

           “What?”

           “Don’t play dumb with me, (Y/N). Why are you so eager to get out of here?”

           “I don’t know, Barnes; maybe after getting shot down out of the sky and trekking through a cold mountain, I just want to get home,” I snapped, a little harsher than I had intended. Bucky pursed his lips.

           “Soon enough,” he muttered. “We should get some rest; it’s been a long day. You take the bed; I’ll sleep on the couch.”

           I shook my head, suddenly feeling guilty. “Buck, you don’t have to sleep on the couch –”

           “There’s only one bed, (Y/N). Just take it. I’ll be fine on the couch; that way I can keep the fire going all night.”

           I bit my lip, but there was no use in arguing with him at this point. With a sigh, I unfolded my legs from under me and stood. “Goodnight,” I mumbled, and Bucky grunted a response. Frowning, I made my way down the hall to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

           I pulled back the covers and climbed in, pleasantly surprised at how comfortable the mattress was. The exhaustion of the day finally crashed over me, and all the thoughts of Bucky and being stuck in this cabin disappeared when my head hit the pillow and I fell asleep almost immediately.

           Of course, my sleep was short-lived. I woke up an hour later, freezing despite still being fully-clothed and curled up under two layers of covers. I tried to pull the blankets tighter to myself and go back to sleep, but it was no use; the chill had already settled itself in me and wasn’t going to let go of me that easily.

           With a groan, I forced myself out of the bed, swearing softly when my bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor. I padded my way down the hall to the living room to grab the blanket I’d been using earlier, to use as an extra layer of insulation between me and the chilly air.

           Bucky was asleep when I walked in. Although it was a fairly big couch, his large frame still managed to make it look small. His head was pillowed on one of the decorative cushions, while the other cushion he held to his chest. His mouth was slightly ajar, soft breaths sounding with every rise and fall of his chest. I realized I had never seen him look so peaceful – so vulnerable and at ease. It almost made him look younger, the lines in his face erased in slumber. The fire, which now burned low in the hearth, left a warm glow across his face, casting shadows where his long lashes dusted his cheekbones, and I couldn’t help but think that he looked heartachingly beautiful like this.

           I quickly tore my eyes away. This felt oddly wrong, almost like I was intruding on a private moment. He was only sleeping, but Bucky was such a reserved person that to see him in such a vulnerable state felt intrusive. I grabbed the blanket from the armchair and was just about to head back to the bedroom when Bucky spoke, making me start as the blanket slipped from my hands to the floor.

           “Stealing blankets, are you,” he murmured, tone teasing and voice thick with sleep. He had just one eye open, peeking up at me. I wet my lips and shrugged.

           “You weren’t using it, and I’m frozen,” I replied. “It’s a lot colder in the bedroom than it is out here, so I figured I’d grab an extra blanket to see if it helped.”

           Bucky frowned, fully awake now, and he sat up. “You’re cold?” he asked, and I nodded.

           “It’s fine, though. I’m sure the blanket will help.”

           “Did you want to sleep by the fire? It’s warm out here,” Bucky insisted. “You can bring some blankets and pillows out here; it’s a pretty comfy couch. I’m warm anyway, so a cool room won’t bother me.”

           I shook my head. “Really, it’s okay,” I insisted. “I’m sure I’ll be okay.”

           “Okay,” Bucky murmured, although he looked doubtful. I gave him a small smile before heading back to the bedroom.

           Incidentally, the extra blanket didn’t work. I shifted, even curling my body up tightly, but I still couldn’t shake the chill that had settled in my bones. I knew what the quickest and most effective solution would be, but even if I could bring myself to suggest it, there was a good chance it would either make Bucky uncomfortable or he’d laugh in my face.

           “Fuck it,” I muttered to myself, throwing off the covers and once again sliding out of bed. I was just about to make my way back to the living room, but when I opened the bedroom door Bucky was already there, hand raised as if ready to knock. He gave me a sheepish look as he lowered it back to his side.

           “I heard you tossing and turning,” he explained softly. “You still cold?”

           I nodded meekly. “Yeah.”

           “Y’know, I was thinking,” Bucky said hesitantly, running a hand through his hair. “Because my body temperature is higher than the average person’s, it kind of acts like a heater. If you want – and you can absolutely say no if you don’t want to, I’ll totally understand – I…I can keep you warm.”

           Bucky looked at me cautiously, and it took everything in me not to nod eagerly because this couldn’t have worked out more to my favour. I knew it was hard for him to be open like this, and to let people close; just a handful of months ago, he didn’t even like handshakes. Instead, I wordlessly opened the door wide enough for him to fit through and stepped aside.

           Bucky walked into the room, hands awkwardly shoved into his pockets as I crawled back into bed. I arched a brow at him.

           “I won’t bite,” I promised teasingly, and the ghost of a grin tugged at his lips as he slid into bed next to me.

           I rolled onto my side, and I felt the mattress shift as Bucky got comfortable and pulled the covers up over us. Tentative, he draped his flesh arm over my waist.

           “Is this okay?” he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

           Instinctively, my body scooted backwards closer to his – closer to the warmth he was radiating. “Mmm,” I hummed contentedly as I felt my own body slowly warming. Relaxing, Bucky’s arm tightened around my waist, hugging me tighter to him as my back pressed to his chest.

           “Get some sleep, doll,” he murmured. My eyes were already drifting shut, and all I could manage was another hum before I was out.

[wordynerdygurl]

A Wonderful Christmastime

Author’s Note:  Well Hello All!  I hope that you’re all taking care of yourselves and staying well!  My tag-list is open and you know I love the validation of reblogs, shares, tags and adds!! I have been working on a larger OC story which has kept my from my Loki writings, but I entered a challenge posted by @toomanystoriessolittletime​ for the Christmas holiday.  If you aren’t following, please do as she’s got a great little Advent Calendar of seasonal stories for you!  One a day through the month of December!  

I chose a prompt based off of my least favorite Christmas song.  Ever.  Like in the history of humanity.  Like, my family torture me with it because of how much I dislike it.  This story is a chance to take a little lighthearted revenge on Sir Paul McCartney and also, hopefully, help you all enjoy a Wonderful Christmastime!   Also, isn’t this gif the cutest thing in the world?  My thanks to the OP and creator for it... it’s amazing and I love Christmas Loki!! Pairing:  Female Reader x Loki

Summary:  Everyone has a favorite holiday song... when Loki learns which one you dislike, he uses it to his advantage. Warnings:  Christmas holiday mentions, SMUT, Oral (F receiving) and MF Sex, also, the over use of a certain song that makes me, personally, crazy!

This was it.  That perfect moment when all of the holiday hustle was behind you.  Nothing to buy, nothing to ship, nothing to wrap, nothing to bake.  It was all over.  You had made it through another Christmas Eve.

Your well decorated tree sat in the corner, presents tucked below for you and Loki in the morning.  The frittata was resting in the fridge along with the two bottles of Prosecco you planned to have with brunch.  Hell, it was the holidays, after all.

But that was for tomorrow.

Tonight you were relaxing after an afternoon of family Christmas fun.  Nieces and nephews, piles of shredded paper, stacks of snacks and so much laughter your belly muscles were sore.  And through it all Loki had been a champ! Holding your hand, rubbing the small of your back, pulling out your chair; Loki had put the other partners to shame.  Whether he was telling bawdy but tasteful jokes to the men who drank cheap beer around the TV, sharing hair care tips with your sister’s oldest girl or whispering with your mom in the kitchen, he was always where he needed to be.  For the first time in ages, you had been able to enjoy the day fully, and you knew Loki was the reason why. After getting home, trading your dress and boots for comfy shorts and a sweatshirt, you padded into the living room.  Loki was there, sitting cross legged, digging through your bag of swag.  He had put seasonal music on in the background while munching through a plate of Auntie’s sugar cookies, two well poured goblets of red wine waiting to be had at his side.  God, he was good. “Is one of those for me?”  You couldn’t help smiling.  Loki, looking like a little kid, over excited and surrounded by all the trapping of Christmas just felt so precious. It took him a moment to reply as he was solely focused on the handmade puzzle box your mother had crafted for all the guys this year, “Hmm?  Yes… one’s for you…” Kissing the top of his head, careful not to dislodge his Rudolf blinking antler headband, a gift to Loki from your youngest nephew, you moved towards the couch.  Sipping from your glass of wine, snuggled under the softest chenille blanket your sister-in-law could find, you sighed contentedly.  Victory over the holiday season felt amazing.  Now all that was left on your to-do list was eating, drinking, and enjoying alone time with Loki until New Year’s.  Suddenly exhausted, you felt the lovely warm drag of drowsiness and snuggled deeper into the sofa.  Shuttering your tired eyes, you listened as Loki stood up, off to hunt up some more food, no doubt.  Visions of sugarplums danced in your head as you started to succumb to a sweet slumber. That’s when you heard it.  

“The moon is right, The spirit’s up, We’re here tonight and that’s enough…” Groaning, wide awake now, you sat up with a shout, “Loki?!”  Like magic his raven head popped around the doorframe, his reindeer antlers askew, a candy cane hanging out of his mouth, “Yes?”

“Um… question:  What are we listening to?” Stepping back into the living room, his new holiday flannel shirt open at the neck, Loki leaned over you, husking playfully,  “Music.  At least, that’s what I believe you Midgardians call it.” “Ha ha.  Yes, I know it’s music, but this particular song?”  You couldn’t keep the tartness from your tone as you pressed your nose into the handsome one on Loki’s face. Pausing, listening intently, Loki cocked his head to the side.  Singing along, his bells jingling, “Simply having a Wonderful Christmastime!” “Ugh.  That’s what I was afraid of!”  Flinging a hand over your eyes, you grumbled, burrowing back into the cozy couch as a means of blocking out the obnoxious noise of the worst holiday song in the history of humanity. Making himself comfortable at your feet, pouring himself another glass of vino, “I like it.  It’s simple.  Direct.  What are you doing?  Me?  I’m simply having a wonderful Christmastime!” From deep in the cushions, muffled but forceful, you pleaded, “Make it stop!  Please!” “What for?  It is still Christmastime, is it not?  And we are enjoying a wonderful time, aren’t we?” Turning back to face him, a Scrooge-like scowl on your suddenly serious face, “I’ll do anything to get you to turn that off.” That got his attention, “Anything?”  Sitting up quickly, you reached for your blanket only to feel Loki snatching it out of your grasp, “You said anything, darling.” Tugging on the plush fabric, practically pouting, “You’re not going to take my new fluffy blankie, are you?” “Oh no.  That’s not nearly enough to stop me from playing my favorite Christmas carol.”

“It’s your favorite, now?  Loki, you just heard it.” Waving your gripes away, pinning you under his arms and under your blanket, “I love it.  It’s my favorite.  You can’t mess with perfection.”

You wiggled, trying to free an arm or a hand, anything to help defend yourself from Loki’s soft, but effective attack, "Perfection?  Loki, it's awful."

"I disagree.  But…”  Brushing a gentle kiss to your captive lips, making you melt into his warm touch, Loki made sure to keep you immobile.  Unraveling under his ardent attention, you gave up fighting, focusing on Loki’s roving hands through the protective layer of your new throw.  

Lost in his lips, you ignored the wretched recording still spinning, until sitting back with a sly smile Loki continued, “Regardless of my newly acquired antlers, I am a reasonable man.  I'm willing to hear your side of things.  Convince me, dove."

Looking up at him through your lashes, licking over your bottom lip that tasted of Loki's peppermint, it took you a moment to refocus on your argument.  Sighing doggedly, “It’s just garbage.  Too sweet, too synth-pop.  It’s plastic.  There’s no substance to it.”

At least Loki did you the service of considering your answer.  He paused, listening to the offending tune, starting to hum along once more.  “I don’t know.  It sounds like church bells ringing.  And I like when the kids start singing!”

“You couldn't.  Those are two of the worst things about it!  There’s not a single redeemable factor in it’s trite,  super saccharine, four minute run time.”  Agitated now and edging into anger, your voice kept rising, spurned on by the inability to get away from Loki’s plush prison, “Also, get off me!” “Can’t do it.  But-” nuzzling into your neck, tasting along the tendon there, “-I can replay this song.”  “That’s it!”  Fury tinted your words as you tried harder than ever to break free of your fleece prison but Loki was brick heavy, unmovable, and impossibly giddy at your predicament.  All things which only added fuel to your fire.  Wriggling like mad, struggling to kick a foot free, you squirmed desperately for leverage.  His response?  A deep chuckle, “Is that all you’ve got, darling?”  Laying those long, lanky bones on top of you, holding down the throw’s corners in a way that made fighting futile, Loki smirked at your distress, “I still don’t see why you hate it so much.  It is a simple song because we’re simply having a wonderful Christmastime!  It’s in the title after all.” With cheeks hot from exertion, fully frustrated and forced to listen to Paul McCartney’s bland holiday ballad start a second time, you nearly shrieked, "I hate it, Loki!  Loathe it, really!  The lyrics are basic, the keyboard is tinny, and Sir Paul is better than that!” “Is that all?” “No!  It's even worse when someone else sings it, like those kids from Glee or an up and coming Country artist making their first holiday record!"

Beneath the blanket your chest rose and fell with bothered breaths.  From rubbing against the couch your hair stuck up in odd angles and you could feel heat rising off your neck.  How had you gone from almost asleep to a blanket related battle royale?  Loki, taking advantage of your confinement, kissed your forehead sweetly, and the change in tactic caught you off guard.  His lips grazed the tip of your nose as you huffed out a pout, eager to see where his mischief making would lead.  Pressing his forehead to yours, that deep sonorous voice whispering lowly for your ears alone, "Not a compelling enough argument for me to turn it off, I'm afraid." And to your holiday horror the song in question started again.  Grousing, "Don’t play it again!  Please!  I’m begging you!” “Already begging darling?”  Thick with mocking, Loki slotted himself between your thighs, keeping you from fighting back with any power. Whining full out now, poking out your bottom lip, “Come on!  Please, let me up and turn this off!” “Why, of course, my pearl.”  With no effort on his part, Loki scooped you up, blankie and all, pulling you tightly to his chest.  Gripping your bottom, his fingers firm through the cotton of your pj pants, he squeezed hard enough for you to yelp. “Hey!”  But that’s all you managed before his talented tongue invaded your mouth.  Now the only thing you could hear was the shaky exhale of your shared sighs and your own needy mewls when Loki started to withdraw.

Godly hands drew your thick and comfy sweatshirt over your head, leaving you bare against the cuddly softness of your new blanket, a perfect dichotomy to the heated hardness of Loki’s chest.  With your arms finally free you tangled your hands in the long tresses of your lover, distracted from the awful music by his groan, “Easy darling.” But now that the tables were tipped in your favor, you had no intention of going easy on Loki.  Not after his antics tonight, not a chance.  Tugging hard enough for him to wince, you ground against his lap with a nip to his neck, “Turn it off then.”

“Now, why would I do that?  Aren’t we still enjoying a Wonderful Christmastime?” Bouncing in his lap, purposefully teasing your mischief maker with a smirk, “We were until you let this terrible song play!” Laughing heartily, Loki stroked over your bare shoulder, one hand resting on your waist and the other cupping your cheek.  “If I wanted to, my darling, I could change your mind.  I could make you adore this song.” “Is that so, Odinson?  I doubt it.”

“Doubt me?  On this, Christmas Eve!  When you know the feelin’s here that only comes once a year?” A confident nod was all he got for an answer.  In a flash you were laying on the soft rug, your legs wrapped over Loki’s and your new blanket tossed to the side.  Fiery kisses to your chest and neck led him to the shell of your ear where he hummed hungrily, “The moon is right, the spirits up…” Enjoying his mouth but not his music, you shoved against his shoulders, panting, “Don’t sing, just kiss me.” Licking into your mouth, Loki’s tongue obliged your need as his hands skated over the curve of your hip, breaking your kiss to croon, “We’re here tonight, dove… and that’s enough.”

“Loki… please stop…”  You fisted his shirt, pulling at the buttons until his muscular torso was under your fingers, strong and solid.  Pushing the plaid cotton off his shoulders, you let your nails drag over Loki’s naked back as you shifted your hips, subtlety be damned. He took the hint.  Nipping a trail over your tummy, Loki kept his eyes on yours as he shucked your shorts, snorting, “No panties?  Naughty!” “If that’s naughty, Loki, then what you’re doing to me is positively evil.” That made your lover grin, his eyebrows lifting in a wickedly Grinchy smile before caressing the inner skin of your thigh with his clever mouth.  Slithering closer to your center, sweeping his tongue in swirls, you couldn’t help the excited shiver he created.  It was enough to block out the terrible song now that you had something more arousing to hold your attention. Using those long, deft fingers, Loki parted your folds with a murmured moan, “You’re so wet, darling.  Maybe you like this song more than you let on?” A curse for him and his rotten taste in Christmas music died in your throat as Loki connected to your sacred skin through a carnal kiss.  Those strong forearms ensured that your knees stayed open wide as his tongue tasted, teasing your clenching cleft, humming with appreciation at your body’s response.  Circling your clit, sucking gently before changing direction and licking your lower lips once more, Loki had you teetering on the cliff of climax in minutes.

Your stomach tensed, ready for release.  Delicious waves of orgasmic bliss were pulsing through you, needing just a touch more friction, a little more pressure in order to crash over you.  Gasping out incoherent whimpers, fingers ruffling Loki’s dark hair, you can’t fight the neediness that he’s created in you. It just feels so incredible, something Loki knows you’re enjoying, “Like that, darling?” Passion clouds your vision as your desire crests, unfulfilled, “You know I do, Loki…” Fingers slide sensually through your slit, his bright eyes on you, “How much?  How much do you like it?” Shaking your head, still foggy with needs unmet, “So much, baby.  I love making love to you so much.” Bumping against your swollen bud, pressing down firmly, Loki begins using his hands to entice you towards ecstasy.  Two fingers enter you easily, delightful, sure, but not as filling as Loki’s hard member.  Reaching for him, you want to lose yourself in loving and being loved by your space god, “Sing for me, dove.” Beseeching you breathlessly, Loki’s hand stills, keeping you at the fringe of falling apart.  Waiting for your reply impatiently he asks again, “Sing, please.” “A song?” His reply is a shake of his dark head.  Slowly, smoothly, Loki withdraws his fingers, only to press them into your yielding flesh once more, “Yes, my darling.  Sing my favorite song!”

Sucking a bruise onto your inner thigh, those fingers of his spreading your walls, the exquisite pressure on your straining clitoris.  Any one of these distractions would have been hard to concentrate through.  Experiencing them all together?  Overwhelming.

And that’s the excuse you would use to explain what happened next.  “The party’s on… The feeling’s here…” As soon as the words left your lips, Loki’s attention resumed in earnest, “That’s it, dove!  Keep going!” “That only comes, this time of year… Ah!  Loki!” Loki watched you lustily.  Your eyes half closed, legs splayed lewdly, a nervous grin on your face.  He never wanted you more.  Slipping out of his jeans, wasting no time, Loki guided his hardened cock into you with a satisfying sigh. Your response to his abundance?  “Oh shit, Loki!  Yes!”  Snapping his hips against your pelvis, iron banded arms clinging to you, Loki stuttered, “I don’t hear you singing!” “We’re simply having a Wonderful Christmastime!”  How many times did you repeat the chorus?  Hard to say.  It became a mantra.  A thing to chant in time with everyone of Loki’s deliberate and deep thrusts. This time, when you felt the familiar stirring of your satisfaction, Loki didn’t stop you.  Encouraging you with a soulful kiss, his stroke surging in time with Paul McCartney’s crooning, you came apart in each other’s arms with a smile.  The song started again and you couldn’t stop the giggles from bursting out of you, “What’s so funny, dove?” “You said you could make me like this terrible, horrible, awful song.” Sitting up and taking you with him, Loki chuckled as he kissed your hand, “Hey, don’t make fun of the best holiday song I have ever heard.”  Pulling your new blanket around the both of you, “I still hate it, but-”

“But?”, his eyebrow arched in surprise, waiting for you to continue.

“But I don’t hate it as much.” Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, playfully ribbing you, “Do I have to force you into having another Wonderful Christmastime?” Biting your bottom lip, you returned the favor by sweeping a stray lock of Loki’s black hair over his shoulder, “Babe, you could make crazy, insane love to me each day and every night… and-” “And?”  Kissing Loki lightly on the nose, you stood up on shaky legs and started towards the hallway.  At the entry way you turned back letting the blanket fall to the floor, “-And Wonderful Christmastime would still suck.”  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To My Many Minxes:  @toomanystoriessolittletime @vodka-and-some-sass @just-random-obsessions @brokenthelovely @lots-of-loki @thefallenbibliophilequote @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @iamverity @mizfit2 @sammy-jo1977 @wolfsmom1 @jessiejunebug @iluvsumbucky @unadulteratedwizardlove @procrastinatinglikeabitch @shxdowofdarkness @nonsensicalobsessions @ahintofkiwistrawberry @alexakeyloveloki @rorybutnotgilmore @crystalizedcaramel @lokislittlecorner @capcapcapsicle @jamielea81 @caffiend-queen @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @jenjen8675309 @that-one-person @roguewraith

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter five

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn't expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse)

ao3 link

*

As the rest of the day ticked by, Beca kept replaying the events at Sarah’s coffee shop over and over, unable to pinpoint what she could have said to make Chloe bolt like that. She managed to focus on her tasks at hand over the afternoon and headed home around 6, groaning as soon as she stepped inside when she remembered she had promised Sarah to cook her dinner. 

She pondered on canceling for half a minute because all she felt like doing was taking a long shower and eating pizza in bed, but she already felt guilty about a lot of things these past couple of days. 

So she took a quick shower instead and put on some comfy jeans and a plaid shirt, tossing her blow-dried hair in a messy bun atop her head. With one of her favorite blues records playing throughout her home, Beca set to work to make creamy salmon pasta with spinach, nursing a much-needed glass of wine as she cooked. 

“Babe?” 

“In the kitchen,” Beca called out over the music, lowering the heat on the boiling water and dropping a handful of spaghetti in. She smiled as Sarah brushed a kiss to her cheek. “Hey.” 

“Hello you,” Sarah murmured, squeezing her hip as she walked past her to set a bottle of wine on the counter. “Smells delicious.” 

“Hopefully it tastes good, too.” Not that Beca was worried; she had been making this dish for a few years. “Wine?” 

Sarah hopped onto the counter next, humming. “Yes, please.” 

Beca opened the fridge and took the bottle out, reaching on the tip of her toes (shhh) for a glass in the cabinet over her head. She poured some wine in and handed it to Sarah. “Sorry I disappeared earlier.”

After Chloe had left, Beca wasn’t in the mood to eat or finish her coffee, leaving a $20 on the table on her way out. 

“Was that the friend you told me about yesterday?” 

Beca puffed out a sigh. “Yeah. She’s…” It’s complicated, Beca was about to say, but she figured she owed Sarah some details after what happened at her workplace. “She’s in a bad place. And I wanna help her, but she doesn’t seem to want any help. I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

Sarah covered Beca’s hand with her own, the pad of her thumb stroking her skin back and forth. “Has it been a long time since you last saw each other?” 

“Over six years. We fell out of touch about five years ago. Well, she cut us all out of her life nearly overnight.” 

Sarah tilted her head to the side. “Us?” 

“The Bellas, from college. Chloe and I were co-captains.” Beca swallowed around the lump forming in her throat as a wave of nostalgia hit her with full force. “She just… she was my best friend.” 

“I’m sorry, baby. Maybe give her some time and she’ll come around?” 

Beca doubted that, but she nodded anyway. “Yeah, maybe.” She shook her head, squeezing Sarah’s hand as she mustered a smile. “Enough about me. How was your day?” 

As the next week ticked by, Beca started to lose hope. In true Beca Mitchell fashion, she threw herself into work to avoid dealing with her emotions, staying at the office until midnight most days. 

A knock on her open-door one night made her jolt. She had lost herself in the view and her own thoughts, unaware someone was still at the office. 

Beca spun her chair around to face the door, finding Luke in the doorway. “Why are you here so late?” 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Luke pointed out, inviting himself in. He set a sheet of paper in front of Beca, then plopped down in the seat on the other side of her desk. “This is incredible. You’ve got to record it.” 

Beca glanced down at her own handwriting, heavily regretting showing Luke that song she wrote a few days ago. “I don’t know, man.” 

“What?” Luke asked, incredulous. “Becky, you haven’t been able to write a lyric for the past three years and now that you’ve got a platinum record worthy song, you don’t want to use it?”

Beca nibbled on the inside of her cheek. “It feels too personal, I’m not sure I feel like sharing it with the world.” She glared at him next. “And stop calling me Becky, this is getting old.” 

“I’m serious, this might be your best work yet,” Luke insisted. “Think about it?”

“I will. Now get out of my office,” Beca muttered.

“You got it, Becky,” Luke teased, easily catching the stress ball Beca tossed at his head, chuckling at her poor attempt. “You should go home and get some sleep.” 

“Yeah. Night.” 

“Goodnight.” 

*

It turned out Sarah had been right. 

When Beca wasn’t expecting it anymore, Chloe called. And she sounded like Chloe. Hope flared within her once more, but she tried not to let it engulf her whole being. While Chloe reaching out was an enormous step, Beca threaded carefully, knowing a lot could happen in five days. 

She wished she had been wrong, but as it pushed 1 pm that Thursday afternoon, it was pretty clear Chloe wouldn’t show. Beca didn’t have her phone number or any other way to contact her. Her heart felt heavy as she headed back to BMLJ for her meeting with Jesse regarding his movie score, and her head was too full of thoughts to completely focus on work. 

“Earth to Beca.” 

Beca hummed, snapping out of her daze. Jesse was staring at her in a mix of concern and curiosity. “Sorry.” 

“Do you wanna do this another time?” 

“No, no,” Beca insisted, straightening up. “I’m okay.” She hated how well Jesse knew her, and heaved a sigh when he gave her that look. “It’s Chloe.” 

“Chloe Beale?” Jesse asked. “She’s in New York?” 

“Yeah. I found her a couple of weeks ago. She’s a stripper at some hyped club in Times Square.” 

“Holy shit, seriously?” 

Beca proceeded to tell him everything over the next ten minutes, Jesse hanging onto every word. “Am I stupid? Trying so hard to help someone who clearly doesn’t want to be helped?” 

“No, you’re not stupid. You’re a softie under that tough exterior and you care deeply about the people you love. Especially Chloe. I was in the front row, remember?” 

Beca grimaced, some of that decade-old guilt surfacing. “Dude…” 

“It’s fine. I’m definitely over all of that, but we both know Chloe is too important for you to just give up. And from how you described her, and that phone call? It sounds like she still cares, but she lost herself along the way and is now in so deep she has trouble coming back on her own. Maybe she just needs to hear that asking for help isn’t giving up, but rather refusing to give up.” 

Those words echoed deep within Beca, and she found herself nodding, filled with newfound energy to fight for this. “I need to go by the club. Tonight. Her boss might kick me out if I show up inside, but maybe I can wait by the back door?” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“You don’t have to, man. It might be hours before we see her.” 

“That guy sounds creepy, you shouldn’t go on your own.” 

Beca sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll pick you up around ten.” 

*

Beca felt like they were on a stake-out as they waited in her car hours later, parked across the back alley of the club. Winter had definitely settled in in NYC and waiting in the cold for hours in freezing temperatures didn’t seem like a great plan. 

She texted back and forth with Aubrey, who once more offered to come down, but Beca was concerned Chloe might think they were ambushing her. 

It was pushing midnight by the time a familiar figure stepped out of the building through the side door. Chloe was on her own. 

Beca slapped Jesse’s arm to wake him up. “She’s here.” 

They both stepped out of the car and crossed the street when it was clear, Beca telling Jesse to wait by the corner as she tentatively approached Chloe, slipping her gloved hands inside the pockets of her dark grey wool trench coat. 

She was smoking a cigarette, clad in her glitter dress under an open fleece jacket. Her gaze flickered to Beca when she spotted her, her posture turning rigid. “What are you doing here?” 

There was no bite to her tone but soft curiosity, which reassured Beca further. 

“Can we talk?” 

Chloe glanced over her shoulder towards the door as she nibbled on her lower lip. “Five minutes, then I have to go back inside.”

She met Beca on the other side of the alley, the orange glow of the lamp post over their heads allowing Beca to trace her features. “You didn’t show earlier.” 

Chloe dragged on her cigarette. “I changed my mind.”

“Is that the truth or did someone tell you not to?” She wasn’t dumb; after meeting Chloe’s boss and knowing she was his favorite, she had an inkling the two were somehow involved. And that guy just gave off a crazy possessive vibe. Chloe’s silence was her answer. “Chlo…” 

“It’s more complicated than you think,” Chloe murmured, licking her lips. 

“Then explain it to me,” she demanded, a desperate edge to her tone. 

“Why are you doing this?” Chloe croaked out. “Why won’t you leave me alone?” 

Her question took Beca by surprise, and her mouth moved wordlessly for a few beats. “Because I care about you. And you’re not okay, Chlo. I want to help.” 

“Beca…” 

She thought back on Jesse’s words. “Asking for help is not giving up, Chloe. It’s refusing to give up. And I’m here. You just have to say the word, I’ve got you.” 

Chloe shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. “I’m not--” Her eyes were filled with so much sadness when they found Beca’s that Beca had to remind herself to breathe. “I’m not worth it.” 

Those four words felt like a knife lodging itself inside Beca’s heart. They stole all the air from her lungs and brought tears to her eyes. “What?” She whispered, her voice nowhere within reach as a huge lump formed in her throat. “That’s not true,” she said, with more forcefulness this time around. “It’s not, you hear me?” 

Chloe kept shaking her head. “You don’t know me anymore.” 

“Maybe I don’t know this version of you, but I know Chloe Beale is still in there, somewhere. I heard her on the phone the other day, remember? And I can see her now, under all those layers of sadness and lack of self-worth triggered by outside factors. I know her soul hasn’t changed, deep down. It couldn’t have, because you are the purest, kindest human being there is, and that has to still be somewhere in there.” 

“I’m broken, Bec,” Chloe cried, her eyes filled to the rim with tears threatening to spill over. “I’m a crack addict. I don’t--” A sob spilled from her throat. “I spend all my money on coke and all I know how to do anymore is show my breasts for money.” 

A tear rolled down Beca’s cheek as she reached for Chloe’s hand. “Then I’ll help put you back together. Piece by piece, for however long it takes. Whatever it takes, Chlo. I promise.” 

“Chloe?” 

Both their heads snapped towards the open door, where Marco stood. His features hardened when he saw Beca there, and Beca released Chloe’s hand, looking over her shoulder towards Jesse, who made his way over. 

“What is she doing here?” He spat out as he climbed down the set of steps. 

Chloe visibly swallowed, her fear radiating off her. “She’s just leaving.” 

“No, I’m not,” Beca stated, loud and clear as her eyes shone fiercely. “I’m not going anywhere without Chloe.” 

“You fucking homewrecker,” he muttered, crossing the alley in quick strides. Chloe stepped in front of Beca, as though to shield her with her own body. The anger swirling in his eyes shot a chill down Beca’s spine. “Move, Chloe.” 

Chloe shook her head. “You should go back inside, Marco. Please don’t make a scene, it’s not worth it.” 

Beca had never understood the expression ‘to see red’ until now; until she witnessed Marco backhanding Chloe with so much force she staggered back with a cry. 

Unparalleled rage filled her, the kind of rage she couldn’t control. She stepped forward and raised her fist, clocking him in the face with a mean right hook. She wasn’t sure if the cracking sound came from her knuckle or his nose breaking, the pain in her hand muffled by the adrenaline coursing through her veins. 

Marco stumbled a few steps backward with a grunt, his eyes screwed shut as he covered his nose with his hand. But Beca wasn’t done, taking advantage of his dizzy state and stepping forward to knee him in the balls as hard as she could so he couldn’t walk until they were all safely inside the car. 

“You guys get into the car,” Jesse ushered them, keeping an eye on Marco as he doubled over in pain. 

“Chloe, come on,” Beca coaxed urgently, grabbing her hand and pulling. To her surprise, Chloe didn’t fight her. She seemed absolutely shell-shocked, even once they reached the car, as though her legs were carrying her on their own accord and her brain was miles behind. “Get inside, Chlo.” 

Jesse jogged over a few seconds later and slid behind the wheel without Beca having to ask him, and she climbed in the backseat beside Chloe, relief washing over as the doors locked behind them and the car pulled onto the road towards safety.