#so this ISN'T THE END
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Chapter 4: When morning comes and the smoke has cleared, Tango and Jimmy head off to see a friend...someone who should have been told the truth much earlier on, just like Grian. (If this was how nervous Jimmy had been when telling Grian the truth, then Tango applauded his soulbound for his bravery.)
[The fic where I saw the "Rancher's Revenge Was Their Child" trope and went "let's give 'em a real one" then handed them an egg to protect]
#tink's tales#flocks & pyres#F&P AU#team rancher#trafficshipping#egg#fire at the ranch#solidaritek#EGG FIC UPDATE ON EGG DAY BABYYYY#good god y'all it's been too long#this one hit 12k and over 20 PAGES and I kinda realized I needed to boot the scar bit to NEXT chapter#so this ISN'T THE END#one more to go!
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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missing from the real world
#project sekai#prjsk#prosekai#prsk#niigo#nightcord#nightcord at 25:00#25ji#n25#25 ji nightcord de#kanade yoisaki#mafuyu asahina#ena shinonome#mizuki akiyama#my art#now if it isn't obvious enough... this was meant for twt cropping#i do not know how to do that here on tumblr so.. please look at my twitter to see the real deal#but anyways manifesting ena5 hakolim at the end of EITHER october or november (its most likely november)
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the difference between till at the start of round 6 and round 7
he doesn't seem like he's trying at all during round 6, having already fully given up living after losing mizi
but in round 7, even though he's lost even more, he's clearly putting all he has left into it
and the reason for that... has to be ivan, right?
he must have recognized ivan sacrificed himself for him, so for the sake of ivan's feelings till tries his absolute best to respond to them and perform that till sings at all here is for ivan
...but at the same time ivan is what haunts him
obviously, right? there's no way watching someone you were so close to you die like that right in front of you can give you actual "strength" (and this isn't even getting into the kiss...) contrary to ivan's (clearly wrong) conviction that till doesn't care enough for him to become a trauma to him, that's exactly what happens
this inextricable mix of love and hate, hurting and healing... this is the tragedy of their relationship to the end no matter how much ivan and till care for each other, they can't ever cure each other
#ivantill#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alnst ivan#blink gone#i thought it was kind of sad ivan only showed up so far into the vid#then i realized#his presence is right there from the start isn't it#no matter what ivantill will always be attached to each other...#they died on the same day.#ivan really did haunt till for the rest of his life!! (sobbing)#also a note on tillmizi#since mizi is what actually gives till strength at the end#(yknow. by BEING ALIVE. UNLIKE SOMEONE ELSE--#but... his love for mizi is built on this idealistic fantasy... as simple and pure as it is#he still doesn't truly /know/ mizi to the end#so of course that can't be enough either#the way alnst explores 'love' is so... so... So........
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there is no quick easy solution to this and you won't get one#there's some strength in that
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Enki S Ending: God Blocking Gambit
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#rher#fear and hunger spoilers#He showed up in the ugliest outfit ever and still served cunt.#Everything about him is so indirectly funny to me.#He canceled his own crucifixion to make sure *he* was the blonde bitch of the non-specific prophecy!#The old gods are running a gambit of trapping humanity in a perpetual timeloop? Just say “Um. No <3”#“Humanity will always be tempted by power and will be tricked into false godhood.” Skill issue.#(Yes I know rher isn't there in the first game but I needed one of the old gods in this comic and...he is the easiest to draw.)#Part of me wants to keep going and sillify the other S endings. Much to think about.
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Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2
#sorry for the mercy/augustine sex jumpscare but i rly do think they have terrible sex every like. 200 years#they're like “Oh this Sucks I'm never doing this Again” and then hundreds of years pass and they get bored and they're like hmmm#maybe. it wasn't THAT bad.#the idea of bitching and complaining during sex is too funny to me#also my magnus design is pure indulgence#i just wanted to sexualise that old man. and he ended up looking like varric dragon age 😭😭#also also i gave Pal the fancy swoopy glasses that elphaba wears in the wicked trailer cos i think they're cool#okay now i gotta do some actual tagging#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gtn#harrow the ninth#htn#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe the third#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#palamedes sextus#palamedes the sixth#abigail pent#magnus quinn#john gaius#tlt shitposting#oh and i haven't finished Nona. i paused my reading because i found out there isn't a release date for the next book so I'm like#i need to make this last. i gotta ration this book out (<-stupid)
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parenting is tough
#isn't it cool how the professors are obsessed with the past/future#and they end up with a son who is so devoted to the art of cooking#which is something strictly 'in the present moment'?#arven#arven pokemon#professor sada#professor turo#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#comic
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wip 💉
#this isn't even the most recent version but i ended up disliking the direction i took it so zzz#dexter#dexter morgan#pt90art
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On the idea of Theseus's Ship: in the end, it's still his, isn't it? It was known as Theseus's, and it will continue to be known as Theseus's.
Even after he has returned to the ground which grew the wood of the hammer used to nail the ship's frame, Even after generations of new wood have rotted and the sails are rags clinging to threads, Even after millennia,
it will still be Theseus's Ship.
Thank you for bringing us home.
Goodnight, Phosphophyllite.
#have a pleasant eternity#it’s over… it’s so over…..#GOODNIGHT HOUSEKI NO KUNI 🫡🫡🫡#*clenches fist* happy series finale everyone#Curse of Binding on the hnk countdown twitter acc has been lifted... but at what cost.......#houseki no kuni#hnk#hnk fanart#land of the lustrous#lotl#lotl fanart#phosphophillyte#houseki no kuni phos#hnk phos#lotl phos#hnk spoilers#lotl spoilers#art#my art#fanart#there's no signature bc i tried adding one and it ruined the faux manga panel look i was going for#but this isn't a real panel from hnk#held off on posting this one before 108 dropped so people won't mistake it for leaks#if i see it making the rounds on pinterest as a “panel from ch 108” i might actually laugh myself into the ER#thank you ichikawa#goodnight pitapat#welcome home#edited to include more thoughts#because if i had to cry over hnk in class nearly a week after it ended#then you’re all coming down with me
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go#its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush#i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think#hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc#grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway#there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth#you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that.#actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally)#origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun#esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc#generic medieval tag#original tag
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Oh Jack...
#as mary said “but it's a pretty dream isn't it?”#I'm so sorry jack#you poor sweet boy#I'm sorry your uncle arthur won't see you grow up#but you'll get your happy ending#for a little while at least#oh jack#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#arthur morgan#jack marston#john marston#abigail roberts#red dead redemption 2 spoilers#red dead redemption community#micks pics
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#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc jax#jax#tadc ragatha#ragatha#bunnydoll#I need to pathetically explain myself here and say this was just one of those go to bed thoughts I've had for a while.#It was an idea for the sake of daydreaming and I never intended to ever draw it but then it happened and I got carried away.#I'd honestly call this a bit of a un-headcanon lmao#None of us know at this point so any one of them could be close or not close to losing it.#Saying that I feel Jax seems like one of the more stable of the group and out of the both of them Ragatha is closer to abstraction if at al#But it's interesting to think if he actually isn't to some degree and there's more behind that grin I can't lie#And I wouldn't portray abstraction like this either I'd go about it differently. again just one of those fleeting throw-away thoughts#It ends ambiguously but you can decide what you want. I know how it ends.#I just got really into portraying the mood or cinematics without any dialogue.
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#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#call of duty mwii#cod mw2#saw this quote and blacked out for like 48h#listen it's about the longing the we can't we shouldn't this is going to end bad and we both know it#but what if i just look what if i just stare at you from the shadows what if i let you see me like no else can isn't that enough#anyway#the brain rot is so strong y'all my fic wip is at 18k now i need an intervention#id in alt text#soph arts
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03 date night
#feedist kinktober 2024#feedist kinktober#no shame to high end restaurants#but even though jam isn't poor she doesn't really have the funds to fill a bottomless pit like butter with 5 star meals#so 2am burger it is#butter_and_jam#heavyheavycream#this one took 3h
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