#so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after ��

[guinevereslancelot]

being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 31: Forced Proximity

Summary: John and Kyle are gone. You have no choice but to lean on the alpha you've betrayed, the alpha that hates you.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 11,071 words

Warnings: ANGST, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, anxiety, reader has a panic attack and several breakdowns, Simon being mean, ANGST, depression, lots of mentions of vomiting and the reader does get sick quite a bit though it's not descriptive in any way, ANGST, heat cycles, pseudoscience, medical stuff (that's probably very wrong), brief mention of needles, medical procedures (nothing very detailed), ANGST, very heavy emotionally again, some very light fluff like barely there but nothing compared to the ANGST

A/N: I did it. I finally got it up. It's uh...it's a heavy one again, I'll tell you that much. You'll hate me even more but oh well. I expected that through this part of the story. I'm so evil I know.

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“I don't like this. It's too...”

“Convenient?”

“Suspicious.”

“I know. But we don't have much of a choice in this.” John says, staring at Simon and Johnny. “You keep your eyes on her at all times. Stay in the barracks when you can. If you have to leave the barracks together, she goes with you.”

“We won't let her out of our sight.” Simon says. “If anything happens, Kate will be the first to know.”

“Good.” John says. He trusts the two of them to look after you. Yet he can't deny the timing of this is a bit suspicious. “We'll be back as soon as we can. Take good care of our girl.”

Two weeks. 

It’s been two weeks since John and Kyle left. 

Despite the fact it’s not the longest someone has been gone, it doesn’t ease the ache in your chest, the pain slowly carving its way into your very soul. You haven’t spoken to them. There’s been no word. Nothing. It could be a good thing. Sometimes no news is good news, and you suppose it’s better than a phone call saying they’ve died in some horrible accident. 

You keep waiting for that phone call. 

Every time Johnny or Simon’s phone rings, you begin to panic, fear eating away at that hole in your chest. It’s bad news, it’s Kate calling to tell them your alpha and beta aren’t coming home. 

You’ve hardly been able to relax, tense and jumpy at the littlest things. Being enclosed in the barracks at all times isn’t helping. You haven’t left once, not even to the med center. Dr. Keller has been coming to the barracks, more than she normally would for your appointments. You wonder if it was Johnny’s doing to try and help you relax, or Simon’s doing in hope you stop stinking up the barracks with the sour scent of nerves and fear. 

Simon has been distant still, avoiding you as much as he can. It’s impossible to avoid you completely, though, as Johnny can’t watch you 24/7. It’s a bit claustrophobic, the way they hover, always keeping one eye on you. It’s been a bit suffocating for the last three weeks, but with John and Kyle gone...it’s almost worse. 

Johnny has tried to fill that void, tried to support you in any way he can, but it hasn’t worked. You know it’s Johnny, you love Johnny, yet not even he can fill the void that has become your life without your alpha. 

You hate it. 

You hate their job, you hate that it takes them from you. You hate the uncertainty, the constant fear and worry that makes you sick. You hate that it’s dragged you into it. You know they were digging for the perpetrator of the cameras, who put them up, who ordered them to be put up, who potentially wanted to look into your personal life in such a violating way. The sudden deployment feels too suspicious, too sudden to be coincidence. 

But as John says, entertaining conspiracies won’t get you anywhere. 

Still...it smells fishy to you. 

The hole in your chest has left you in a constant state of uneasiness which has left you on the verge of tears constantly. Every day that passes without word of a tragedy or that they’re coming home makes your stomach churn, tears constantly brimming in your eyes. John’s shirt is constantly in your grasp, a dirty one you’d fished out of the bottom of his laundry basket, soaked in his scent. It’s beginning to fade, slowly eroding away until there won’t be anything left. Then you’ll grab another and another until you have none left. His room still smells like him, his pillows still fresh with his scent. 

You know it will fade, though, and fade fast. 

You’ve been avoiding spending too much time in his room and Kyle’s in favor of keeping their scents in there as long as possible. The fading of their scents is like an omen, marking a fading of their presence in your life, of the bond between you. The constant fear that you’ll forget them, what they sound like, what they smell like, what they look like. 

It makes you physically ill. 

That painful churning in your stomach is back as you sit on the couch in the rec room, curled up as far from Simon as you can get. Simon is still angry at you, at your betrayal of his trust. So much progress down the drain because you proved you’re not trustworthy after he trusted you enough to begin opening up. You still hate yourself for it, for keeping the secret for that long. Even a month would have been better and would have had less consequences for everyone. Maybe then you might have caught the camera in the bear sooner, and not been so violated during some of your most private moments. 

Some of those moments with Simon. 

How violated does he feel, having such vulnerable moments between you recorded and viewed by someone out there? You can’t help but think back to that night when he came back, and the morning after. Someone watched you. The bear had been right there, those black beady eyes staring right at the two of you. How many times had you fucked the others in your bed, the bear sitting there, watching, projecting those moments to whoever was on the other side. 

Your heat. 

The bear hadn’t been looking then, but it had been listening. It knows what happened, every last detail, every slam of the bed against the wall, every knot. 

It makes you sick. 

Your stomach churns, your arms wrapping around your middle as you let out a shaky breath. You’re going to puke again, the bile rising in your throat. The intense tingling in your hands is starting again, your fingers curling in as your extremities begin to go numb. You’re panicking again. 

Instead of vomit, a choked sob leaves your lips, your tears hot and burning on your cheeks, stinging like they’re composed of acid. 

Simon glances up from his phone, his face the mask of indifference that it has been for three weeks. A mask that he had worn for the first few months after your arrival. “What?” He asks, his tone flat and voice rough. 

You can’t answer him, too busy hyperventilating and sobbing where you sit. You can’t even think if you wanted to, your body aching as your muscles begin to tighten. You can’t distress. You’ve been fighting the urge since the day the truth came out. 

You can’t trust Simon to help you. 

You’re not even sure he knows how to. 

Of course, it would be easy to call Dr. Keller, get her to help him, but you’re not sure he’d want to. Could he be so angry and betrayed he’d just stand there and watch you distress yourself to death? 

He wouldn’t. He’d have to explain himself to John, why he let it happen. It would tear the pack apart. It would tear them apart. You wouldn’t put it past John to try and rip Simon’s throat out with his teeth in anger. It would be a bigger betrayal than yours, and Simon wouldn’t let you lose your spot at the top of that list. 

“Fuck.” Simon breathes, setting his phone down before moving in front of you. He lowers himself onto one knee, reaching for your arms. If you had been more aware you might have flinched away, but the lack of oxygen to your brain is making everything fuzzy. 

Simon grips your elbows, tugging you forward gently. Your legs are forced off the edge of the couch, your body upright as Simon holds your arms in his grasp, your legs between his as he kneels in front of you. You stare down at him, the sudden change in position shocking you for a moment. You choke around another sob, eyes blurry as you try to look at him. 

“I need you to breathe.” He says, squeezing your arms gently. 

You can’t. 

Your breaths are sobs, wracking your body, tearing at your lungs. Your chest hurts, aching and burning as you quickly begin spiraling out of control. 

“Look at me.” He says, shifting his hold to your wrists, taking them into one hand before he grabs your chin with the other. He keeps your head still, locked on his face. His eyes are blurry to your own teary ones as you look right at him, looking through the mass of blurry black that surrounds him. “Breathe.” He says, his voice rougher than normal, rumbling with the command of his alpha around the edges. 

It goes straight to your head, a shiver running down your spine. Your body shudders in response, your next sob catching painfully in your throat. You cough, lungs spasming as your body suddenly begins to follow his order automatically. Simon lets you go as you attempt to gain control over your out of control body. One part of your brain is still panicking, still pushing towards distress while the other fights to follow the alpha’s command. It’s a battle, your instincts at war with each other. 

The next inhale is a gasp, inhaling until your breath stutters and your lungs ache. You let it out slowly, the flood of oxygen making you shake in Simon’s hold. He keeps his hand around your wrists until your inhales stop stuttering and your muscles start to relax. 

He slowly releases you, pushing himself up to sit on the coffee table. You’re surprised it can hold so much weight after it’s been sat on so many times. Not even a creak as Simon lowers himself onto it. 

He rests his elbows on his knees as he stares at you. His figure begins to get clearer as your tears slow, no longer blurring your vision. You're expecting the sharp sting of his harsh gaze, or worse the indifference you've grown used to over the last three weeks. 

Instead there's a soft look in his eyes. Not soft as you would describe Johnny's, but soft compared to what it has been. Pity, you think. 

“You're a fucking mess.” He finally says. 

You laugh. You can't help it. The deadpan delivery of such a him statement in response to everything has a laugh escaping your lips. You wipe your eyes, sniffling. He hates it, hearing your sniffles. It annoys him when you cry, it always has. 

You push yourself back onto the couch, pulling your knees up again as you stare at him. There's a slight tremble to your fingers still as you sit there in silence for a moment. 

“I'm sorry.” You say, still looking at him. “If I had just said something sooner...” You swallow thickly as you stumble over your words. “None of us would have...the camera would have been found sooner...we wouldn't have...both of us...”

“You shouldn't apologize if you don't even know what to say.” He says, the softness in his gaze hardening again. 

“It's not that it's just...” You take a breath, trying to straighten out your thoughts. “I feel so guilty. This is all my fault and if I had just said something sooner, none of this would have happened. What happens next is my fault too. I know you and John have been digging into who is behind it and I know how risky that is. They know that we all know now, and...I'm scared of what might happen.”

You let out a long breath at your confession and attempt at an apology, squeezing your fingers together as they begin to tremble even more. You want to look away, his gaze piercing into you again. You're reminded of the moment the words had fallen from your lips that had caused this in the first place. Your heart begins thumping in your chest, your breathing picking up slightly at the memory. Will he get angry again? Will he snap at you and drag you down the hall to lock you in your room until John and Kyle get back, or Johnny calms him enough to rescue you?

“I feel so violated.” Your voice shakes. “I can't even imagine what it's been like for you. It took us so long to get to that point and...” You swallow the bile trying to rise in your throat. “I'm so sorry.” Tears blur your vision again. “I didn't know...I didn't think...I was so stupid.”

He scoffs. “You are.” His words are sharp, and they sting as they slice through you. “Fucking stupid, I'd say.” You wince at his words. “But you’re inexperienced. You don’t think about things like we do. No matter how much everyone has tried to drill it into your head, you’ll never truly understand until you experience it yourself.” He holds your gaze for a moment. “I hope you never have to.” 

You stare at him, the meaning of his words not lost on you. You’ve put yourself in danger, you’ve put all of them in danger by keeping this all a secret. Whoever put those cameras up knew you were keeping it a secret and hadn’t done anything in retaliation against you for finding them and destroying them. Maybe that was their plan all along. They knew you’d keep it a secret and use that to their advantage. Strike when they least expected it, or perhaps wait for the moment the truth inevitably came out and then strike. 

The thought has a cold chill running down your spine. 

You’re afraid for a different reason now. 

John and Kyle are gone. Anything could happen to them and it wouldn’t look suspicious. Or whoever put those cameras up wanted everyone split up. Attack when there’s less knights defending the castle. 

A shiver runs through you, making you curl in on yourself. The feeling of being watched is back. The darkness peeking out from around the blinds over the rec room windows suddenly feels very threatening. 

“What’s goin’ on in here?” 

A startled yelp leaves your lips as you whip around to face Johnny where he’s leaning against the door to the rec room. Simon’s body tenses in response to your fearful yelp, an unconscious motion he has no control over. Alphas will always have the drive to protect the omegas in their pack. It’s a natural protective mechanism, no matter how they may be feeling about said omega. 

Simon’s body relaxes as you do, putting a hand over your heart to try and calm yourself down again. 

“Jumpy this evenin’.” Johnny says, entering the rec room. He steps up to the couch, bending down to rest his hands on the arm next to you. “Didnae mean to scare ye.” He says softly. “Ready tae get to bed?” 

You nod. “Yeah. I am.” 

“Come on.” He holds out his hand and you take it, letting him help you up off the couch. “We’re usin’ yer shower, Si.” He says. 

Simon rolls his eyes. “Course.” 

“Simon?” You say before Johnny can pull you from the rec room. The alpha turns to look at you. “I am sorry.” 

He stares at you for a long, tense moment. “I know.” 

Johnny leads you down the hallway, his hand on your lower back. He’s gotten touchy again, letting his hand rest lower and lower on your back, brushing your breasts as he pulls the covers up around you at night. He refuses to let you shower without sitting on the toilet lid. You know the chances of Simon opening up like that again are slim, if at all. You’ve ruined that opportunity, and you’ll have to be satisfied with where he draws that line permanently. 

“Have a good conversation?” Johnny asks. 

You nod. “He called me ‘fucking stupid’.” 

Johnny nearly chokes for a second, covering his mouth to hide a laugh. “He’s certainly not a man of eloquence.” 

You shrug. “I mean, I don’t exactly disagree with him.” 

Johnny leads you into Simon’s room, steering you to the bathroom. Your stuff is already inside from the unanimous decision to solely use Simon’s bathroom for ease and also safety. 

Your towel is neatly on the rack next to Simon’s and Johnny’s, all folded the same way and hung evenly apart. Your soap and shampoo are neatly placed next to his, along with your toothbrush and other products on the sink. Always so neat and organized, despite his anger at you. 

Can’t break his system even after you break his trust. 

You pull your shirt over your head after starting the water, letting it get warm. Johnny stands behind you in the doorway, and you know he’s watching. You strip your shorts and underwear off, Johnny grunting quietly as you bend over to add them to your pile of dirty clothes. You’ve been tempted to leave them on the floor for the past two weeks just to peeve, but you’ve riled Simon up enough. With your luck he’d just toss them in the trash. 

The water is hot as it pelts your skin, your shoulders relaxing as it begins to loosen the stress of the day. The emptiness in your chest continues to eat away at you, never disappearing despite what happens. Your stomach churns, the nausea returning. You stand under the spray, letting the water pour over your head as you attempt to calm the continuous twisting in your abdomen. 

The shower door slides open, another body joining you before it slides closed. Warm skin presses against your back as arms slip around you, pulling you out from directly under the spray. You rest back against Johnny’s chest as he leans his cheek against the top of your head. 

“I miss them.” You say quietly, just audible over the shower. 

“I know.” Johnny says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

“When will they be back?” You ask him, even though you know he can’t tell you. 

“Hard tae say.” He says, grabbing your strawberry scented soap from next to Simon’s. He’s just been using Simon’s soap, something you probably assume he does often anyway. “Kate will update us as soon as there’s a possible ETA.” 

“I don’t know how much longer I can take.” You say as he begins to wash your back. 

“I know.” He says, gently massaging the knots in your back, trying to help you relax. “I wish I could get them home faster. I wish it had been us instead of them for your sake.” 

His words make you feel guilty, but you both know it’s not anyone’s fault. John is your alpha, you belong to him, you were claimed by him. You’ll always hurt more about your alpha and beta’s absence than the other members of your pack can comfort you. If Simon had claimed you, things would have been different. The ache in your chest would have been less intense as you would still have an alpha you could lean on. 

You’d always miss John, but if you had Simon, the black hole slowly devouring you would have slowed its progress. 

Four weeks. 

A month. 

It's been a month since John and Kyle left. The familiar hole in your chest has widened, a gaping black hole now threatening to swallow you and string you out until you’re nothing but particles lost in its center. It’s worse than the hole Simon left when he went on his solo deployment, it’s worse than the hole they all left when they went on their first mission. Neither of those previous deployments lasted this long, and despite Johnny's attempts to console you, you don’t feel any better. 

There’s been no contact. 

A month with no contact, a month with no word. You'd know if something had happened. Even if you got no word on it, you would know. That sense that omegas have when something happens to the bond would be screaming. 

It's been a rough four weeks.

There’s a heaviness that’s started to permeate the air as you try to adjust to the prolonged absence of your alpha. It’s nearly every day that you’re breaking down now, standing in John’s room to catch any whiff of him that’s left. You’ve worn the scent off his bed, his pillows, his clothes. You’ve run out of shirts that smell like him. 

You’re terrified they might fade from your memory entirely. Kyle’s scent had disappeared quicker, fading fast until you were left unable to even picture the sea. The beach is a blurry, distant memory, the smell of the salty air faded and wiped away. 

Still you cling to their shirts, as if you can hold them through the fabric. You carry them everywhere, packing them from room to room as you float around in a daze. 

You’ve left the barracks once in four weeks for a training session that neither of them could miss. You’d gotten looks as you sat there, the sole audience member, but you're not quite sure what had happened or even what the training was far. You had been far away, lost in your own head, the haze of depression and grief numbing you to everything. 

Dr. Keller continues to visit you in the barracks, still more than you normally would see her. You miss her office, the soft warmth of it, the plants and the colors lacking from the sterilized prison that is the barracks. It has become like a prison. You’re trapped inside, unable to even wander around alone. You feel like the princess locked in her tower under the watchful eye of the guards keeping her trapped inside. You need someone to come and rescue you, someone to set you free so you can at least wander the tower alone. 

You want your alpha. 

You miss John and Kyle desperately, their absence chewing away at your insides. The hole in your chest continues to widen as the days pass, consuming more and more of you as you slip deeper and deeper into the black hole of depression. Johnny is being affected too, sucked in by the gravitational pull of the black hole you have become. Even Simon is starting to feel it, softening a bit more towards you. He’d even let your hands brush a couple of times when he’s escorted you places, and he didn’t yank them away like you might pass some disease onto him. 

You wouldn’t necessarily call him affectionate, even before all of this, but this is the first glimpse you’ve gotten of him being back to where the two of you were before you fucked everything up. You know it’s not going to happen overnight. It might never get back to what it was. He might simply be acting out of sympathy, and out of necessity because of your pain and grief being channeled through the pack bonds. Sometimes you wonder if John and Kyle can feel it too from wherever they are in the world. 

You miss them so much it hurts. 

The tears slip down your cheeks as you sit on the couch in the rec room. Johnny is off taking his turn to work out. It’s early, the sky still grey outside, the perfect epitome of how you feel inside. Simon is seated in his usual spot, book in hand. Your own that he had grabbed is still on the coffee table. You’re staring at it, tears gliding down your cheeks as you hold your knees against your chest. It’s become almost a normal occurrence, the tears, the blank staring, the lack of desire to do anything, even the position you’re seated in.

Simon glances up at you as you sniffle again, lowering his book slightly. “What?” His tone isn't annoyed per se, but you know he has to be tired of your constant blubbering. 

“Tell me they’ll be alright.” You say, your voice shaking. 

“You know I can’t-” He starts, but you cut him off. 

“I need you to tell me.” You sob, your gaze lifting to the black screen of the TV. “I can’t take it. I can’t do this.” 

He lets out a sigh, closing his book. You jump as the couch sinks down on your left, Simon taking a seat next to you. The flinch is subconscious as he reaches over to grip your chin and turn your face to look at him. Your tears slide down your cheeks, wetting his fingers. 

“They’ll be alright.” He says, eyes hard as he looks at you. He’s lying but you need to hear it. “They’ve been gone for far longer than this before. Trust Price knows what he’s doing. He’s going to do everything in his power to come back. We’ll know if something happens. Laswell will let us know.” 

You know that, you know all of it. Yet it does little to calm the pain in your chest. “I miss them.” You sob, Simon’s eyes softening as you continue to cry. “My stomach hurts.” 

You’ve been nauseous since the day the truth came out almost five weeks ago. The nausea has been churning in your stomach, making you constantly on the edge of vomiting. It’s the stress, the combination of the truth coming out and your alpha being gone. You’ve been choking food down, eating only out of necessity. 

Simon lets out a sigh, releasing your chin to wrap an arm around you. His other hand drops to rest on your stomach. It’s warm through the fabric of your shirt, applying gentle pressure. He smells like alpha, different from John, but still an alpha. The tears continue to fall as he holds you, your body slowly leaning closer and closer to him. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t even try to push you away as you fall against his side. 

Your stomach is churning, gnawing. It’s not an unusual feeling. It’s felt this way for the last few weeks. It’s never woken you up before, though. You blink in the darkness of Johnny’s room, his arm still thrown over you. The gnawing continues to intensify as you continue to be pulled from your semi-peaceful sleep, becoming more and more aware. 

You’re hungry. 

You slowly unravel yourself from Johnny’s snake-like hold, ready to slip into the rec room to peruse your snack stash. Instead you’re pulled back onto the bed by the arm that slips around your waist. 

“Where ye goin’?” Johnny rasps, still half asleep. 

“I’m hungry.” You whisper. 

He lets out a groan, letting go of you to rub a hand over his face. “Give me a minute.” 

You rise from the bed as he stretches, slowly sitting up as he draws himself from sleep. It’s just past one in the morning, neither of you having been asleep for long. You feel wide awake as the gnawing in your stomach continues to intensify. You rock back and forth on your feet, debating just going and letting him catch up. It’ll force him to wake up faster, and ease the gnawing hunger threatening to turn you inside out. 

Finally Johnny rises from the bed, stretching again as you impatiently open the door. He pads behind you to the rec room, watching as you dig out a bag of chips. He leans against the back of the couch as you stand there, devouring the chips like you haven’t eaten in days. You haven’t really eaten much in the last five weeks, so perhaps it’s finally catching up to you. You finish the bag but it’s not enough, so you grab another, devouring it halfway before you freeze. The bag begins to tremble in your hand, nearly falling from your grasp. 

Johnny is alert immediately as you begin to panic. “What?” He asks stepping closer to you, ready to defend you from whatever has you on edge. 

Your brain frantically does the math, thinking over the last few weeks. The bag falls to the floor as the realization slams into you like a bus. You turn to face Johnny, eyes wide in shock, fear shooting through you like lightning and clouding the rec room in the sour stench of omega fear.

Your lips tremble, the words stuttering out as you fight the panic rising in you, the nauseous churning of your stomach threatening to bring up the bag and a half of chips you just ate. Your fingers are shaking, clenching into fists again as they begin to go numb. Ragged breaths wheeze from your lungs as you stare at Johnny’s worried face, brows furrowed as he tries to understand what has you in a sudden panic at one in the morning. 

“My last heat was eleven weeks ago.” 

“The timeline is right,” Dr. Keller says, taking the blood pressure cuff off your arm. “The symptoms point to pre-heat.” 

You take another bite of your candy bar, eating half out of necessity and half because you’re nervous. You hadn’t even considered this when John left, but of course you didn’t know how long he would be gone. 

“Any word from John yet?” Dr. Keller asks as she packs the blood pressure monitor back into her bag. 

“None.” Johnny says, crossing his arms. “Kate sent out a message, but there’s been no response.” 

You’re numb to that fact, the hope that had filled you two days ago gone now that there’s been no word, not even for something like this. Simon had gone out of his way to call you when you needed him, but John can’t even send a simple message through, even a simple no. 

“We may have to consider alternative options if he can’t get back in time.” Dr. Keller says. 

He won’t get back in time. They’re all saying it silently. They all know it and so do you.

Your hands close into fists. You had hoped with your new pack and alpha you wouldn’t have to go through this again. But, of course with them having to put their job first, this was always a possibility. It was bound to happen eventually, you just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. 

“We’ll wait as long as we can.” Dr. Keller says, looking at you. “We don’t have forever, though.” 

You shove the rest of the candybar in your mouth. You don’t want to say anything, you don’t want to do anything. You’re numb except for the incessant hunger. You’ll know when it’s getting close, when the hunger fades and you’re facing down the reality that your alpha won’t be here. You know he won’t. Even if Kate can get ahold of him, he won’t make it back in time. 

You’re going to have to do this alone. 

Well...perhaps not. 

Maybe there is someone that can help you after all. 

You’re terrified. You’re not sure how to even approach this, how to bring it up. It’s eating you alive, but you have to ask. You have to know. That small bubble of hope still rising in you that maybe, just maybe you can avoid the horror awaiting you. It’s a big request, but perhaps you can be convincing enough to play to his pity. 

“Simon?” You ask, your hands curled into fists so they’re not visibly shaking. Your hair is dripping onto your shirt, soaking it but you don’t care. The cold is keeping you aware, keeping you from floating away into your head again. 

He grunts, looking up from his phone. You’d used the shower in his room again so he could watch you while Johnny took his own shower. You won’t sleep in here. You’ll stay with Johnny just like you have for the last almost five weeks. It’s safer, should your heat start in the middle of the night again. And also because he doesn’t want you to stay with him.

This is stupid. It’s a stupid decision but you need to know. 

What if he says yes?  

“Can I...ask you something?” You say, shifting nervously on your feet. 

He pockets his phone before pushing himself up to stand. He towers over you as he moves closer, staring down at you as you look up at him. Sometimes you forget just how big he is, just how commanding his presence can be. You fight the urge to cower, to submit to him in fear. “What?” 

The nervous lump in your throat threatens to choke you, the memories of his anger directed right at you burning right through you. What if he gets mad again? What if he reacts the same way? You can’t know what he will do, though. You steady yourself, wrapping the fabric of your shirt around your hands. 

“Will...” You clear your throat. “Will you help me through my heat?” 

It’s a big request. A huge request. You’re asking him to jump past barriers he’d kept up even before, something he’d never even suggested or hinted at wanting to do even before your last heat. You’re asking him to jump past barriers he’s put back up since your betrayal, making it clear you’re not welcome back in, you’re not going to get to where you were before. The most he’s done is let you lean against him that one night in the rec room. 

You hope maybe he’ll agree out of necessity, maybe he’ll take pity on you and save you from the horrors of going through a heat without an alpha. It may be stupid, but you’re terrified of what’s awaiting you if he doesn’t agree. You don’t want to do it, you don’t want to be put to sleep and then wake up a week later sick and disoriented, and then spend the next few days still in the same state. 

It makes your stomach churn, and not from hunger. 

His eyes widen in shock as your words register. His hands tighten into fists at his sides, his shoulders tensing. You fight the urge to flinch at the movement, the sudden hardening of his stance before you. He wasn’t expecting it, obviously. You came out of left field with it, but you have to ask. You’ll beg if you need to. You’ll get on your knees and beg like your life depends on it if he wants you to. Anything just to avoid what’s looming in the near future. 

His eyes harden as he stares down at you, and you suddenly begin to regret your decision to ask. His gaze is piercing, taking you back to when you confessed. You’ve made a mistake. You’ve made a huge mistake. 

“No.” 

The word is simple, two letters, one syllable, yet it slices right through you. You should have expected it, should have known that would be your answer, but it still hurts. He knows, he knows John isn’t coming back in time. He knows you’re going to have to do this alone. You had hoped maybe pity would push him into saying yes, maybe he’d open up a bit more before your heat started, maybe he might be merciful. 

“I can’t.” He takes a step back, then another. His gaze softens to what you almost perceive as panic. He shakes his head. “I can’t.” 

So maybe it wasn’t anger at you keeping him from agreeing. You can feel it, the edge to his scent starting to cloud it, the way his hands open and close as he squeezes them into fists over and over. 

Tears burn your eyes as you stare at him, lifting your hands so they’re laced together in front of you. You knew that would be the answer, yet you can’t stop the disappointment. “Oh.” That's all you can say. You don’t trust yourself to say much else. 

You swallow the lump in your throat as Johnny appears in the doorway, looking between the two of you before his eyes settle on you. He can tell something happened, something transpired between the two of you while he was gone. How much of it he heard, you’re not sure. Perhaps none at all judging by the look on his face. 

“Ready for bed?” He asks, his gaze cautious. He’s trying to assess the situation, figure out what could have transpired to cause such a reaction between you and his alpha. He’ll never know. Not unless Simon tells him. 

“Yeah.” You breathe, scurrying out of Simon’s room before you can make more of a fool out of yourself. 

“H-How long will it take?” You ask, your heart thudding in your chest. Your pre-heat symptoms had stopped earlier this morning, the hunger gone, the itching beginning under your skin. 

“As soon as your temperature goes up, we’ll get started.” Dr. Keller says, sticking electrodes to your chest. You’ve already got the blood pressure cuff around your arm and pulse monitor on your finger. 

“Ye were prepared for this.” Johnny says, sitting next to the hospital bed. You’re in a private room, well away from any others, even though no one will know you’re in heat. There won’t be any scent projecting, no neediness, no aching. You won’t be aware at all that anything is happening as your body rapidly cycles through that sudden flood of hormones. 

Dr. Keller nods. “This was always a possibility, so I made sure I had everything on hand for when it did happen.” She takes your temperature again. “Tell me when you start to feel warm. The last thing I want to do is send you under too late.” 

Your skin crawls at her words, memories flashing back to the time you were put under too late. You trust Dr. Keller to take care of you, though. She’s far more competent and aware than that nurse had been. It’s her job to take care of you, to watch after you in moments like this. 

You just wish you could talk to John before you go under. 

You want to remember his voice when you come back out. 

“I’ll be here the whole time.” Johnny says, taking your hand, obviously sensing your discomfort. 

He’s brought a bag of things with him, since he’ll be staying with you for the few days it’ll take to get through your heat. It won’t be as long this time, your body being forced through those hormones quickly. It won’t even register it needs a knot, flying through those symptoms. 

The wait is the worst part. It takes forever, every minute seeming to take an hour. Johnny waits dutifully by your side. You wish this wasn’t the first heat he would be here for. You wish he had at least gotten some experience with a normal heat, just so this one wouldn’t scare him off. Even Kyle might have been shaken by it, though, even with his experience. 

Eventually the heat begins to prickle under your skin, your heart rate jumping. Johnny calls in Dr. Keller, looking nervous as sweat begins to bead on your forehead. 

“It’s time.” Dr. Keller says, taking your temperature. It’s jumped quickly, your body starting to prepare for the onslaught of hormones about to be released. 

She turns your arm, hooking up the IV that will deliver the sedative as well as fluids to keep you hydrated. The heart monitor beeps rapidly as you grow nervous, Johnny squeezing your hand gently. You know he’s trying, and there’s nothing more he can really do. There’s no stopping this. It’s going to happen no matter what. 

“I’m going to administer the sedative. You’ll start to feel sleepy.” Dr. Keller says. “I’ll put in the feeding tube after you’re out.”

You swallow nervously, sweat starting to bead on your forehead. “It’ll be okay right?” 

Dr. Keller gives you a soft smile “You’ll be just fine. It’ll be a few days for us, but it’ll be a few seconds for you. It’ll be over before you know it.” 

You swallow nervously before nodding. Dr. Keller pushes the sedative through the IV, your body starting to relax as it begins to take effect. The itching under your skin stops, the heat fading as the ceiling gets further and further away as your vision tunnels. Johnny squeezing your hand is the last thing you remember before everything goes dark. 

He’s seen a lot of things, done a lot of things that would make the average person violently ill. He’s no stranger to blood and gore, yet he can’t watch as Dr. Keller inserts the feeding tube into your nose. The thought of having it in his own body makes him nearly gag, his eyes closing as he breathes. 

“I’m done.” Dr. Keller says, a small smile on her face as he turns back around. 

“About gart me boak.” He says, looking at you where you appear to be sleeping peacefully. He supposes you are, blissfully unaware of anything and everything around you.

“You’re not good with needles either, are you?” She asks, obviously noticing how he had turned away when she put in your IV. 

“Not my favorite.” He admits. 

“She’s all set.” She says, stepping back. “You’ll want to move her every few hours, turn her on one side, lift her legs up. Keeps her from getting bed sores or blood clots. I’ll be next door, and I’ll check on her periodically. If anything happens at night, I’ll have my phone on full volume.” 

“Thank ye, doctor.” He says, squeezing your hand despite the fact you can’t feel it. 

Dr. Keller takes her leave, the room going quiet aside from the beeping of the heart monitor, and the occasional buzzing of the blood pressure cuff as it tightens around your arm. He stares at you for a long moment, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest as you sleep. It’s probably the most peaceful sleep you’ve gotten in the last few weeks, despite the changes happening internally. Dr. Keller had explained it to him, the hormonal changes, how sedation works differently than going through a heat consciously. Omegas do go through heat cycles awake and aware without an alpha sometimes. Institutes cycle between isolated heats and sedation. 

The thought of you going through both makes his stomach twist. 

Sweat beads on your forehead as you lay there, something that will continue for the next few days, the doctor said. Your heart rate is higher than normal, another sign that you’re in your heat as your brain cycles through the sudden rush of hormones. He’s not quite sure what to expect, not quite sure what it’ll look like if something goes wrong. He’s never done this before, and the little research he’d done doesn’t feel all that helpful. Dr. Keller trusts him to know, though, and he supposes it’ll be pretty obvious should something go wrong. 

You’re not going to be doing much aside from laying there for the next few days. 

The hours seem to drag on and he can’t help but wonder if this is how Kyle feels during your heats. At least Kyle had a job to do, had to focus and listen for the breaks in between rounds when he’d go in, ensure nothing was wrong, nothing happened, that you’re being fed and taken care of. All he has is the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the occasional buzz and crinkling of nylon as the blood pressure cuff expands. Dr. Keller brings him meals, keeping him fed and occasionally keeps him company as he watches dutifully over you. His back is aching from the uncomfortable chair and the makeshift bed, but he can hardly complain. He’s slept on worse. 

He’s sketched a lot in the silence between watching videos on his phone and napping. It’s been a peaceful time, aside from his initial worry. You sleep away, sweat still beading on your forehead. Every so often he grabs a wet paper towel, wiping away the sweat. 

He jumps as his alarm on his phone goes off in the silence, his pencil falling to the floor. He picks it up, setting his sketchbook to the side before he gets up. He’s careful as he slips his arms under you, easing you over onto your side. He bends your legs, making sure you’re steady and not cutting off circulation anywhere. He runs a hand over your hair, the strands starting to slip out of the braid he had put in before your trip to the med center. 

He moves around to the other side of the bed, pulling the tie out before undoing the braid. He’s careful as he redoes it as best he can, making sure not to pull too tightly on the strands. The last thing you need when you wake up is to feel like your hair is being yanked out of your head. 

He ties off the braid before moving back to his seat, staring at your peaceful face for a moment. It’s nothing new to him, but he can’t help but stare. He’s seen you sleep many times, held you, watched you blissfully unaware of the world. The softness in your face, the worry and the stress and the weight on your shoulders of just being who you are gone. 

He picks his sketchbook back up, going back to drawing. 

His stomach churns nervously. There’s a subtle shake to his hands, something that doesn’t happen often. He likes to think he’s prepared for anything, conditioned enough to not be shaken by anything. Yet he can’t help but feel unsure as Dr. Keller closes off your IV. 

“She’ll be coming out of it soon.” Dr. Keller says. “She’ll be confused, disoriented. She might get combative. Your job is to talk to her, try to calm her and help ease her back into awareness. She’s a crier after heats, so I don’t doubt there will be tears. She may get sick as well.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “It’ll be alright. Coming out of a heat is hard, and so is coming out of sedation. Both at the same time is always a struggle.” 

There was a time he thought maybe sedation would be the easiest way to deal with a heat, but from what he’s hearing, he might have been wrong. Sure it might be easier in the moment to not have those week long symptoms of intense desire, the fever, the desperation. Coming out of it though? From what he’s heard so far, it’s not as easy as it sounds. He’s been through it, coming out of sedation after an injury in the field. It’s a confusing feeling, disorienting enough before you find out days or weeks have passed. It’s hard to conceptualize without all those hormones going crazy in your head. 

You start to stir, your brows pinching as you slowly begin to wake. You let out a groan, reaching for the feeding tube immediately. Dr. Keller gently pushes your hands away, nodding to Johnny. Your brows furrow deeper, a groan leaving your lips as you begin to move more and more. 

“Easy, kitten.” He says, leaning down close to you, projecting his scent so you can hopefully get a whiff of it to help calm you. “I’ve got ye. Yer alright.” He brushes your hair back from your sweaty forehead as you continue to groan. He takes your hand as you reach for the tube again, squeezing it gently.

You crack your eyes open for a moment before quickly pinching them shut. Dr. Keller reaches up, turning off the overhead light before leaning down close to you again. She’s projecting her natural beta scent as well to try and help calm you. “I’m going to remove the tube, I know it’s uncomfortable.” 

Johnny has to look away again as Dr. Keller removes the feeding tube, pressing his face into your hair as he projects his scent even more. You squeeze his hand back, the other gripping the side of the bed. You take in a harsh, gasping breath before you begin to cry, tears spilling out of your eyes as you sob. He had heard that you’re a crier after your heat from Kyle, he’s just never witnessed it before. 

It takes him back to just a few weeks ago in John’s office when you had sat there crying as they interrogated you. It had made him uneasy, the stress and the fear clouding your scent. The fear he’d felt in those moments, listening to you cry and panic, nearly sending yourself into distress before John had calmed you. He might have done more, but he had been angry, angry at whoever put those cameras in your room, and slightly at you for keeping it from them for so long. 

He can’t blame it completely on you, though. That had been back in the time where you still weren’t sure if you could trust them, before you fully opened yourself to them. Maybe they were slightly at fault for not making you feel like you could trust them, for not being realistic with you about the dangers. Sure you had been warned, had it drilled into your head why your safety was paramount, but maybe they had kept too much hidden from you. Maybe they had put you in more danger by trying to keep you safe. 

Your eyes are still pinched closed as you continue to cry, sobs wracking your body as you grip his hand tightly. It tugs at his chest as he whispers quietly against your hair, trying to get you to recognize him, pull you out of the confusion and disorientation you must be feeling. You begin to hyperventilate, your hand slipping from his as you try to push yourself up. Dr. Keller already has the bed lifting, her other hand holding a vomit bag in front of you. It seems almost instinctual, but she’s been through this many times before. She had told him how many during one of their talks, when he’d asked her how long she's been working with omegas. He hadn’t realized just how little he really knew about your doctor before now. 

Johnny has to look away as you vomit into the bag, his own stomach churning. Not just because of you being ill, but also because of how distressing this all seems. How you haven’t gone into distress is a miracle to him, but perhaps you’re still too out of it to be that aware. 

Your breathing has calmed just slightly, your forehead beaded with sweat. Dr. Keller removes the vomit bag from in front of you, grabbing another and setting it on your lap. 

“I’m going to dispose of this.” She says. “She’s going to be sick for a while. I’ll grab more fluids and I’ll be back shortly.” 

Johnny nods, wiping at the sweat on your brow. You lean into his touch, letting out a quiet whine. His touch is gentle, almost scared he might hurt you in your fragile state. You’re still crying, the tears cascading down your cheeks. His chest hurts, guilt and sorrow churning inside of him from seeing you in this state. All thought that sedation was the best option goes out the window as he holds the vomit bag for you, keeping your braid out of the way. 

Kyle had told him about what it was like during your heat and after, partially to feed his curiosity, but also in case something like this happened where he had to be the one taking care of you. He’d heard about the pain, the tears, the disorientation. This is different, though. This is far worse than what Kyle had described to him. 

Dr. Keller returns, IV bag in hand. She removes the empty bag and replaces it with the full one, hooking it up to your IV. You have to be thirsty after a few days of having nothing but a feeding tube and the fluids to keep you going during your fever. 

Johnny catches her hand as she pulls out a syringe, small enough to be discreet. Something tickles in the back of his mind as he stares at it, his instincts on edge. 

“What is that?” He asks, starting to get defensive, his metaphorical hackles rising.  

“Pain medicine.” She says simply, handing it to him. She has to be able to read him, sensing the sudden protectiveness wafting off of him. 

He takes the syringe, reading the label. Morphine. He feels silly for distrusting the doctor. She’s never proven herself untrustworthy. While he knows they can’t be too trusting of anyone, she’s never done you any harm, never given them a reason to suspect her. She wouldn't hurt you, not after the dedication he’s seen from her these last few days alone. 

“She might need it later once she’s more aware.” She continues, taking the syringe back when he hands it to her, putting it back in her pocket. “Her body just went through an intense hormonal cycle and those hormonal levels are now dropping suddenly. It can cause a wide range of symptoms from crying to illness to physical pain. When omegas are allowed to go through that cycle naturally, usually with an alpha, the symptoms of coming down from that cycle are typically less severe compared to when sedation is used, of course besides the physical pain. The pain with sedation is obviously quite different from the pain when the cycle happens naturally with an alpha.” 

Johnny’s brows furrow as he rests his hand over yours, your breaths stuttering through your sobs. Your hands are clutching at the blanket, one of yours he’d grabbed from your room in hopes the familiar comfort might help you through the process. He hates that you’re in pain like this, he hates that you’re in pain at all. He’s beginning to feel the bubbling anger deep in his stomach at Simon for letting you endure this. He has no idea. He’s isolated himself for your safety, and he’ll never get to see what this is like, what you’re going through right now. 

Dr. Keller says your name softly, leaning against the side of the bed, electing to ignore the swirling emotions of her fellow beta. He’s not her concern, you are. “Can you open your eyes for me?” 

You continue to cry, but you manage to get your eyes opened, squinting at her through your tears. Dr. Keller takes your face in her hands, using her thumbs to gently pull down your lower lids, trying to get a good look at your eyes. You try to jerk away, letting out possibly the cutest defiant sound Johnny has ever heard, and he might have reacted had it been a different situation. Instead he leans over the side of the bed again, talking to you quietly so you calm a bit. You do relax at the sound of his voice, his scent projecting even more to try and comfort you, bring you back into reality. 

“There we go.” Dr. Keller says, looking at your eyes before she gives you a soft smile. “Welcome back.” She removes her hands from your face leaning against the bed rail again. “It's all over. You did perfectly.”

You let out another groan, lifting a hand weakly before letting it drop back against your stomach. 

“I know you're thirsty.” Dr. Keller says. “I'll get you some soon. We need to make sure your stomach has settled for now.” 

Your eyes squeeze closed as you start to cry again, your inhales shaky as the tears start sliding down your cheeks. Johnny shushes you gently, petting your hair. Sweat still drips down your face, your hands curling around the edge of the blanket. 

You try to push yourself up to sit, Dr. Keller immediately understanding what you need again as she lifts the vomit bag up to your mouth.

Johnny peels your hand from around the blanket, holding it tightly. His own stomach is churning but he swallows it back, bringing your hand up to his face. He kisses the back, the skin clammy and warm to the touch. Your scent is a swirl of things he’s never smelled before, drowning out the natural sweetness. Kyle had mentioned how your scent and John’s change during the heat and after. He hardly recognizes it right now, and he finds himself missing the sweet scent of strawberries. 

Your fingers squeeze around his as you lay back against the bed, eyes cracked open and sniffling as the tears continue to slide down your cheeks. You let out a groan, tugging weakly at his hand. 

“Hi kitten.” He says, leaning over the bed rail again. “Yer alright. Get ye feeling better soon.” 

Your inhale is shaky, catching in your chest. You weakly tug his hand towards your face pressing your sweaty cheek against his skin. You nuzzle against his hand, your tongue darting out to lick his skin. He can't help but chuckle, wiping at a tear that falls with his thumb. You’re still out of it, but he knows that’s a sign that you’re starting to come through, starting to come back to yourself through the haze. 

You let out a long groan as you pull away from his hand, licking at your lips. They're horribly chapped, almost rivaling Simon's, but at least you have an excuse.

“Thirsty?” Dr. Keller asks, returning to the bedside with a cup of water. “Drink slowly, you'll get sick again.” She warns, holding the straw up to your lips. 

You manage to do as she says and take small sips of the water despite how thirsty he knows you must be. Johnny keeps caressing your face with his thumb, your fingers still laced with his. 

“Let me get your vitals.” Dr. Keller says, setting the cup of water on the table. You let out a groan in protest, smacking your lips, obviously wanting more. “You can have more in a minute. Too much on your stomach could upset it, and I’m sure the last thing you want to do right now is get sick again.”

You let out a quiet grunt, leaning your cheek against his hand once again. Your skin is still a bit warm to the touch, but that could just be from the exertion of trying to come out of sedation and being sick. Dr. Keller takes your vitals once more, recording them on her sheet. She’s been tracking them your entire heat, using them to judge how far along you are since she doesn’t have the benefit of you being awake to track the symptoms that way. He had wondered why she tracked them on paper, but then he remembered John telling him about how Shepherd had requested all of your private records and Dr. Keller’s notes. 

She is smart. He’ll give her that. 

“Things look good, even if you might not feel like it right now.” She says.

You try to shift on the bed but you let out a quiet groan, freeing your hand from his. 

“Hurting?” Dr. Keller asks.

You nod, letting out a whine. It tickles in the back of his brain, his beta wanting to reach out and comfort you, but he knows he can’t. He can’t ease the physical pain. One downside to beta evolution. Their ancestors never learned how to fix physical pain. Maybe that would have made them too perfect. All he can do is try to comfort you through it. 

“Let's get some pain meds in you.” She says, pulling the syringe out of her pocket again. “Then we can get you somewhere more comfortable.”

She injects the pain medicine through your IV, giving it a few minutes to begin working before disconnecting you from all the machines. Johnny helps her get you in a sweatshirt, wanting to keep you warm. You are shaking, though what that might be related to he’s not sure. Perhaps everything. 

Dr. Keller hands him the cup of water. “Keep her drinking. I'll go grab a car, then we can get her back to the barracks.” 

You feel far too light in Johnny’s arms as he carries you from the car into the barracks. Simon is nowhere to be seen, though he hadn’t expected a welcome back party from his alpha. He’s probably still hiding out in his office, or in the gym, his usual hiding spot. Johnny is kind of glad he’s not here, though he would like to rub it in his face, the decision he’d made. 

Johnny takes you to his room, still avoiding yours. It’s almost like a crime scene, Johnny tempted to take it off. He knows placing you in there might make you panic when you wake up after everything. That’s the last thing he wants. So instead he takes you to the place you’ve spent the last almost six weeks in, somewhere you’ll recognize the scent and be comfortable when you wake up. 

You roll onto your side as soon as he lays you down, curling up on his blankets. He drapes yours over you, tucking it around your shoulders before he steps back out into the hallway. 

“Keep her hydrated. Lots of water, tea, clear sodas.” Dr. Keller instructs him. “She'll be drowsy for a while because of the pain medicine. Give her a couple hours and once the pain meds wear off and her stomach settles a bit, try her with some bland foods. She did well with mashed potatoes after her last heat. She’s going to be out of it and sick for a few days. Keep an eye out for anything abnormal. Vomiting blood, can’t keep food down, if she complains about pain somewhere or is hard to wake, give me a call.” 

“Got it.” Johnny nods, committing everything she’s told him in the last ten minutes to memory. 

“You did really well.” She says, giving him a soft smile. “You should be proud of yourself.” 

“Thank you, doctor.” He nods, internally beaming at her praise. 

“Keep me updated, and don’t be afraid to call.” She says. 

He watches her walk to the door, Simon’s door opening as soon as she’s gone. He at least looks guilty, like the shame is eating him alive. Johnny hasn’t seen him like this in a long time, not since he caused you to distress. It makes him a little too happy to see him in such a state. 

“How is she?” He asks, not moving from in front of his door. 

The sound of you vomiting into a vomit bag reaches their ears. Simon at least has the decency to flinch at the sound. It’s subtle, probably unnoticeable had Johnny not been able to read his alpha like a book. 

“Sick.” He says, trying to hide his anger and disappointment. They’re complex feelings. He knew Simon would turn you down if you asked for his own reasons, but now after seeing what happens when there’s no alpha available during a heat, he almost hates Simon for doing this to you. “Confused. Still a bit out of it.” 

“You know I couldn’t do it.” Simon says, using that uncanny ability to read everyone around him. 

Johnny hates it sometimes.

He turns to glance at you through his open door as you continue to be sick. You’re going to be miserable for the next few days, likely more than you are usually after your heats. This one will be less physical pain after taking knots for a week straight, and more pain from being sedated, pain from being mostly immobile, pain from just being alive and carrying this status. Such pain omegas live with, physically, mentally, emotionally. 

He hates it. 

“Ye don’t know what it was like.” He says, his hands closing into fists. “Seeing her like that.” 

You let out a long whine, a sob tearing from your chest as you inhale. Tears prick behind Johnny’s eyes as he holds Simon’s gaze. “Ye just had to say no.” He shakes his head, turning to go back into his room. 

He doesn't want to tell you. He can see the look on your face already. The disappointment. The pain. The agony. He can smell the souring of your scent already, the painful grief filling it and there will be nothing he can do to ease it. It's a rare moment they've left you alone in the last month and a half, forced to after a call with Kate and Shepherd.

He's not even sure how to approach it. 

He opens his bedroom door slowly, his stomach clenching as he looks in at you. You're on the bed, wrapped in a blanket where he left you, cuddled against your big bear. He doesn't want to wake you, especially not for this but he has to. He has no choice. You have to know. 

He lets out a sigh as he sinks down on the edge of his bed, gently putting a hand on your shoulder. “Kitten?” He shakes you gently. “Kitten, wake up.”

You inhale sharply, startling awake despite his attempt to be gentle. There’s a sharp spike of fear in your scent for a moment as you’re yanked from sleep suddenly, but it fades as soon as you realize where you are and who is with you. You turn over onto your back, winding up resting against his knee as you rub your eyes. 

“Johnny?” You croak, still partly asleep. 

“Si and I just got off a call with Kate.” He says carefully, not wanting to scare you too much. 

You're wide awake immediately, pushing yourself up to sit. You swallow nervously, your scent already souring. “What is it?” Your voice wavers as you ask, eyes already shining with tears. 

“John and Kyle are fine.” He says, regretting not starting with that. He can see the temporary relief on your face. “But, they need some backup for this one.” 

It takes a moment for your brain to process his words. A hole tears through the center of his chest as he watches the realization hit, your face falling as your scent begins to sour even more. Your arms wrap around yourself as you stare at him, the relief gone from your face as you stare at him. He swallows the lump in his own throat, your scent causing his beta to stir, the drive to comfort you itching in his brain. He can’t though, he can’t comfort you through this. 

Your voice shakes, a tear sliding down your cheek as you figure out what it is he woke you to say, why Kate had called. Your inhale is shaky, catching in your chest before you speak. 

“You're both leaving too, aren’t you.” 

NEXT ->

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[dontbesoweirdkira]

I'm not saying yandere Dick Grayson would baby trap his darling...but he most definitely would

Warnings: toxic and abusive themes. forced domesticated life, mentions of baby trapping, purposeful weight gain, manipulation, dick is a good hubby though, he's just so desprate

Please just hear me out on this concept. Now i've said before that Dick Grayson would've realistically had to put a halt on his personal life and relationships because alongside being nightwing and keeping his family together, it'd just be too much.

Could you imagine Yandere! Dick is like hitting his mid-thirties at this point, work is growing old and all of his siblings are just about adults and he's exhausted. One day, the siblings are all just chilling around the mansion and the topic of what they plan to do with their life after being a vigilante comes up. Dick hadn't though about it ever because well...this consumed every minute of his life but he figured he'd probably settle down and start a family. Jokingly one of his siblings said, "How could you ever find time for another family when you're already the matriarch of this one?", and it just hasn't left his mind since.

Fast forward and he's sitting in a dinner alone after patrol and he's just watching this family and their kids and it just hits him that he'll never have that at the rate he's going. If he doesn't end up dead from his work, he'd probably end up rotting in that mansion alone because he's too busy fixing the messes Bruce made with the others. He's been a "father" to his siblings since his teen years and he has not much to show for it. I mean he's proud of all of them but...he's still just their older brother...

He goes home and is thinking about just how happy that father looked while throwing his kids up in the air...or how beautiful his wife looked carrying their unborn child. He envied how simple and perfect their life was. They didn't have to miss out on life to fight crime around the clock or to piece back together something he never broke. They could happily go home..with each other and be proud of what they've made. He's looking back at his life and while he knows he's accomplished so much but being an actual dad is something he'll never get a chance to be. Not while he's still playing as the head of Bruce's household.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who now wants to be a father so badly and to come home to a pretty wife who truly loved him. Not just some one nighter who couldn't see past his body.

He met you by chance a few weeks later. It was while he was grabbing food before his nightly patrol, and the spark was like never before. It was fate. or delusion You were destined to be his pretty wife and be his ticket out of that mess. You're so perfect

Dick is maybe a little too eager to make his desires a reality. Like he's completely ready to let go of his previous familial duties to make way for his new ones. It's a huge shift but it's a necessary one. This is his Fiona Gallagher moment. He's steadily loosening the grip and ignoring calls to be fully focused on you. Dick wants to prove he'll be a great husband who won't neglect you for anyone else even if they're as close as family. He can't let them get in the way anymore.

He doesn't care if he has to manipulate his way into your heart, he's going to have you. He's the only one that'd ever be as good to you as he will be. There's not even a money limit on how much he's willing to pour into this process. If it takes paying your rent or car note to prove he's provider material...then so be it. Anything for the future mother of his children.

!Yandere Dick Grayson who doesn't even know if you want kids or marriage but he's so far gone in his own fantasies that he just assumes you have the same goals as he...even if you don't...you soon will..I like to think he slowly shifts you into being a stay at home girlfriends and floods your mind with ideas of this being your purpose. He needs you to know just how great you are at being domestic...this isn't so bad right? You could do this for the rest of your life!

Like i said he doesn't mind throwing money at you if it'll make you desire this life with him. Besides, he prefers you to be financially dependent on him. You are so shy when you ask him for things but he loves knowing that you need him, just like a good wife does.

First he's just always wanting you over his house for cute dates, then it's becoming a weekender situation...then a few days out of the week and now you practically live with him.

In the meantime he's doing subtle things like cooking dinner and breakfast with you at the same times every day. This is so you'll automatically start doing this on your own and so you know what he likes and at what time. He's got you doing shopping runs for the home. He's a sneaky little shit who asks you to throw in his laundry and clean up his messes while he's at work. He of course compensates you for being such a great helper. Your new job is here at his home. It fills him up with so much joy when he comes home and all your tasks are completed.

Yandere! Dick who is always surprising you with foods and snacks you cannot resist to make you plumper for when you're carrying his baby. Of course he's denying the allegations when you jokingly tease him about making you fat on purpose but we know the truth. Still, he's loving your body regardless, it needs to be healthy with extra fats to keep your children protected. He can barely contain himself though when he sees your little stomach pudge , it gets him all too excited for the real deal. It makes him feel all the less guilty about tampering with the contraceptives when he thinks about how gorgeous you'll be when you're swollen with his baby. I mean you're already this cute with a little bloat.

Oh just the thought of you walking around in public and everyone who sees you know that you're already claimed..ugh He doesn't know what to do with himself. You're all his and no one can steal you away from him. Not when you don't have any time. You're too busy taking care of the home and the baby to be bothered by anything else.

You won't be too mad at him, right? I mean just so desperate to have a quiet new life. He wants to be a father so bad, please let him have this. He'll be so so good for you and the baby.....he needs this.

[yayll]

~ a little something about the complicated way you and Dazai acknowledge each other's feelings ~

"We can't let it end like this. We simply can't."

"Dazai, what are you talking about? I'm literally just going on my lunch break."

"... I'll find a way for us to be together! Someday!"

You've been bickering back and forth with him ever since you stepped foot in the agency this morning, or more like he's been performing a whiney one sided narrative that you and your co-workers are more than familiar with. Though it's only ever directed at you. The confusing declarations of love, the lack of personal space, and then there are the days he won't even look or speak to you at all. It was emotional whiplash, but you did your best to drown out the feelings he evoked in you.

Dangerous ones you wouldn't dare indulge in, because if so, you get the feeling your heart would never recover from a man like Dazai. You grab your wallet, and push in your desk chair when he calls out to you once more in a much more serious tone, one that sounds bored.

"If you must leave, will you please pick up something on your way back for me?"

"What is it this time?"

"Bandages, I suppose"

He says that like it's an afterthought, like he couldn't care less for whatever he was asking for.

He's been asking you to go on odd little shopping trips for him for weeks now, and you being the dog you are, say yes every single time. You think about how Dazai loathes dogs. It makes you physically ill the way you feel about him. Whatever it is. You nod, and reply softly.

"Okay. Sure."

"So compliant! If I didn't know any better l'd say you're madly in love with me. Should we run off into the sunset and get married?"

You simply stare at his sardonic smile for a long while, and he stares back. It's like you're sending each other psychic waves, secret messages only you two could decode. Only you two could fathom. He stares into you with that piercing gaze of his, the one that might as well call you an idiot for ever thinking there's a real person behind his heavenly face. His eyes are pretty, they make yours feel dull in comparison. After a while, a faint half smile creeps onto your lips, trying to feign the same indifference as his. You fail, obviously.

"Mm, sounds too hopeful, even for you."

"Yikes! Right you are. Commitment. How awful.... No one wants that kind of trouble."

Dazai states cruelly, leaning back into his chair at his desk, arms crossed. He has to bite down to keep from smiling and giggling like a fool, as this is exactly what he wishes would happen.

His heart flutters for a brief moment at the visual of such a fantasy, such privilege to have you forever. He knows how badly you secretly want this too, but he doesn't plan on putting you out of your misery just yet. Shame on you to think of him as a real person who's allowed to pursue the things he wants! He continues when he sees you've gone completely silent, standing with your keys in your hand like a mannequin.

"Besides, I'm sure you've met plenty of other guys that are far more suitable for you. I mean, look at me, I used to be a criminal." He winks at you, hinting at his sketchy past. He's such a fantastic performer when he's at his worst.

"... And no one wants that kind of trouble, right?" You echo his past words back to him, once again failing to match his rejection.

"Oh you wretched little creature. Right again!"

You can't take much of this any longer, smiling politely as you simply turn around, and walk out of the agency. Your eyes sting.

Dazai just sits there, staring at the door, counting the seconds until you're back. He rests his chin on his palm, unblinking. He taps his fingers on the desk, and lets out a deep sigh. It's all he does, all he looks forward to every single day you leave.

You finally come back nearly an hour later, carrying a small bag and leftovers from your lunch. He lights up like the moon during the clearest night sky, and stands up immediately. His demeanor completely changes as he flashes you a delighted grin, rushing to you.

"You're back~"

"Yeah, here are your bandages."

"My what?"

"The bandages you asked for..?"

His eyes widen for a moment, and then he chuckles, shaking his head. He flicks his own forehead.

"Of course! Thank you. Now, may I have the receipt as well?"

He looks excited, his open palm cupped in front of you, as if you were giving him a treat. You raise a brow and shrug, handing him the crumpled piece of paper. You don't even question it anymore. He frowns. You think he looks like a disgruntled little kid.

"Ugh. You wrinkled it."

"What? Why does it matter?"

"Well I obviously wanted to keep it, silly goose."

You try to make sense of what he could possibly mean, and you decide it's not worth getting into. You can't afford the heartache nor the brain cells.

"That's the weirdest thing you've ever asked me."

"Not true. I've never asked you for a kiss~"

You almost drop to the floor with the way his eyes darken, despite his tone being the complete opposite. You stare at him yet again for what feels like ages, your heart set ablaze, with Dazai being the pyromaniac who won't let your embers die out of his own amusement. Your voice comes out low, meek.

"Well I'm clearly not the person you dream of, so no."

You could swear his awful smirk falls off just a tiny bit, but any evidence of that is gone in a blink of an eye. His voice comes out soft and laced with a hint of honeyed bitterness.

"And if you weren't, l'd dream of you anyway."

He mutters under his breath as he looks out the window, as if you weren't supposed to hear that. the sun is slowly setting and the moon will illuminate soon after. He wishes he could see what you look like at night.

You roll your eyes because if you don't, you'll bury your face in his chest and sob. Oh, he's the worst. You put on your best cynical voice followed by a scoff.

"That's lovely, Dazai."

"You look lovely." He states simply, still looking at the way the moon ghosts in the sky.

"... Thank you."

"It's my pleasure." He murmurs, solemnly. In that moment, you don't catch it, but he's telling you he loves you too.

And just like that, you slowly walk past him and sit at your desk. You might have a stroke, but you still have reports to finish.

Dazai quietly does the same, sitting down and opening a drawer, and then a secret compartment within it. He glances at you for a moment, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he flashes you an exaggerated smile when you catch him looking, then turns his attention back down, the smile dropping.

He places the wrinkled receipt into a larger stack of countless other receipts, all from past errands you've run for him lately. He smoothes it carefully, for it is a priceless sentiment amongst his collection of the things you so graciously give him. It's pathetic, but it's like holding your hand. It's like kissing you. It's like true love.

[mythicmanuscripts]

omega aegon and heats. one befor his wedding and one after it. what would be the differences. god hed be so needy and pritty. imagine he goes through heat before the wedding but he and reader are already pritty close and he just beggs alicent to alow him to get his fiancey or just something that smells like them. and the in comparison after the wedding.

I love this!!!

NSFW sub and omega aegon below the cut! As always, all my a/b/o stuff will be tagged with 'a/b/o hotd' so if it's not your cup of tea when just block that

Right so firstly I can't remember if I've said this before or not but I'm gonna say it again: as king Aegon of course gets countless alphas trying to court him and he's supposed to remain sweet and cordial to all of them until the decision is made. Everyone thinks he'll be great at that, because he's just... so omega? He takes to being pampered and cared for so well, knows how to flirt with alphas and he really just perfectly encapsulates that typical omega stereotype.

So that's the plan with how Aegon is supposed to behave until they make a decision on which alpha is best for him. This works well for about a week until you walk into the thrown room for the first time because from the moment he sees you he will not have any other.

You've barely even introduced yourself before he's jumping off his thrown and walking over to you, overing his hand for you to kiss and when you do his knees nearly buckle. He's obsessed, and he will not even entertain the literal hundreds of other alphas who have come to ask to court him.

He insists you sit next to him for dinner that night, and he doesn't even answer when other alphas try to talk to him. You and him have your own conversations the entire night and when he retires to his quarters the guards can hear his whines through the door because he already feels lonely.

While of course all the things about Aegon mentioned before are why so many alphas think he's completely perfect, but him being like that also means he's a very needy and sensitive omega? So even though he's barely known you a few hours at that point, he still hates that his nest has none of your scents. If he thought the guards outside his door would actually let him leave he would absolutely sneak out to find you.

So now Alicent has a massive problem on her hands, because Aegon is supposed to take gifts and offers from noble hours for the next month before they sit together with the council to decide on who will be the best alpha for him. But now Aegon won't even thank the other alphas who present him with gifts and promises of caring for him and giving him children. He couldn't care less about what they have to say and he's always trying to look past the alpha talking to him to see if he can spot you anywhere. Alicent had asked you to avoid the thrown room until dinner to try and prevent the other noble alphas from being offended and as much as you don't like Alicent, you can admit she has a good point so you stay away. This forces Aegon to actually speak to the alphas around. But the moment he sees you walk in for dinner he's immediately scrambling to get up and go straight to you. You roll your eyes at his antics, but you let him take your hand and lead you to the seat at his right hand side that he had kept for you.

He's also very possessive of you? You are HIS alpha, no one else's! No one else is allowed to sit close to you and pour your wine and complain about their day and heaven forbid if anyone else tries to touch you. He actually hisses at the poor omega servant who was trying to fix your dress, because no! No she can't touch you!

Because of how quickly Aegon takes to you, no one is surprised to learn that he's gone into an early heat. Obviously Aegon wants you there, but Alicent can't let that happen, his reputation would be completely ruined if he spent a heat with an alpha before he married them.

Needless to say, Aegon is not at all pleased with this. He begs for you all the time, and eventually he begs to just have something with your scent that he can have for his nest. Thankfully she agrees to this, and has the guards ask you for some clothing and bring it to him.

He wears your sweaters his entire heat and he sleeps wrapped in your blanket. He hates every single second of the heat, because it's so so clear that the heat was triggered because of you.

When he eventually comes out of the heat, he presents you with all the clothing and blankets that you had loaned him. He doesn't wash them on purpose so that he's giving you items absolutely drenched in his scent (needless to say, the other alphas absolutely hate you when they find out about that).

After that heat, aegon won't even pretend to entertain other alphas anymore. He finally knows who he wants, finally knows who will make him feel safe and look after him, so he will not pretend to be considering others anymore.

He was supposed to be meeting nobles alphas for another two weeks and he ends up marrying you before most of the other alphas had even had time to leave.

His first heat after the wedding is, of course, eons better than the one before the wedding. Since by that point you've had more than enough time to acquaint yourself with how Aegon like to be pampered, you ensure your shared chambers is fully stocked with all his favourite foods, drinks and countless amounts of nesting materials for him to use however he'd like.

You honestly expect him to be more of a handful in his heat than he actually is, and the main reason he isnt is because he knows you will care for him and help him. He doesn't need to be overly whiney or clingy because you're right there!! He can just hold his hand out and he knows you'll come to him and give him everything he could ever want and more.

So yeah, happy horny very in love omega!aegon.

[girlgenius1111]

you could see the best of me

leah x r

Leah has barely touched R since her surgery a few weeks ago. R is slowly losing her mind.

smut 18+

The combination of aroused and annoyed was not one you were used to; it had been weeks since your injury, and therefore, weeks since you'd done anything with Leah. There weren't really an physical limitations stopping you; Leah was terrified to hurt you, and she refused to do anything more than kiss you in the past few weeks.

At first, you hadn't really noticed, all hopped up on pain meds, but as you stopped taking them, the desperate need for your girlfriend that you always seemed to have, returned. Still, even when you tried to get Leah to go farther, she always pulled back, smiling apologetically at you.

You really didn't understand. Leah was normally all over you, and your surgery had been weeks ago. You weren't sure why she didn't seem to want you; you really underestimated how worried she was about hurting you further.

It all came to a head one night, 4 weeks [4 entire weeks] after your surgery. You had managed to pull Leah into a heavy make out session, and you thought that maybe, this time, she wouldn't pull back. When she did, pressing a kiss to your forehead and walking off into the kitchen for some water, you couldn't help the frustrated huff you let out. Or the tears that flooded your eyes.

It was embarrassing, honestly, that you were crying because of how badly you needed your girlfriend to touch you, but you couldn't help it. Since getting together, you and Leah had barely gone more than 3 days without having sex. These past 4 weeks had been both unprecedented and torturous.

When Leah walked back into the room, looking annoyingly attractive in a dark green sweatshirt and joggers, you were still wiping angrily at the tears falling from your face.

"Baby? What's wrong?" She asked, smile falling from her lips. You rolled your eyes, thinking it was pretty obvious. Leah seemed to disagree, as she came to sit next to you on the couch, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. "What is it? Does something hurt?"

"No Leah, nothing fucking hurts," you spit out, and the blonde removed her hand from your face, blinking in surprise.

"Okay," she said, pausing. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked patiently. She was being too nice to you, treating you like you were fragile, and it was infuriating.

"Stop being so nice to me," you cry, really overwhelmed now with frustration, aware you weren't really making much sense. Leah's brow scrunched adorably.

"You're upset because I'm being too nice to you?"

"No. I'm upset because we haven't had sex in weeks, Leah. Weeks." you reply, face flushing at the confession. Leah was quiet for a few moments.

"Love, I know it's been a while, but we need to be careful with your knee, I don't want to hurt you."

"Leah, my knee is fine. Definitely fine enough to have sex."

"I don't want to risk anything, y/n," she started, but you cut her off, rising unsteadily to your feet. You'd recently started walking completely unaided, but it was slow. It took some of the sting out of your words as you shuffled into the bedroom.

"I'll just take care of things myself then, if you won't help me." You say over your shoulder, leaving behind a bewildered Leah. She hadn't realized how bothered you were by this. She was considering her options when she heard you cry out from the bedroom. She was on her feet in a second, moving quickly into the room.

"What happened??" she asked, taking in the way you sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the comforter under you tightly. Your shorts were pulled down one leg, still resting around your bad knee.

"They got caught," you said miserably, motioning to your shorts. You couldn't even get undressed yourself, couldn't even tease Leah without having her help you. She walked towards you, ignoring your partially naked body, attempting to wrap you in a hug. You shrugged off her arms.

"No, Leah, I was just so mean to you, please don't." The blonde ignored your attempts to shrug her hug off, shushing you lightly, and pulling you into her.

"I'm sorry you're frustrated, love. I know it's hard not to be able to do things, and I don't meant to hover over you. I just want you to take your recovery seriously."

You lifted your head, resting your chin on Leah's abdomen to look up at her.

"Leah, please. I need you," you say, hoping desperately that Leah will take pity on you. To your excitement, she sighs, a sign she's relenting.

"Alright, baby, but we're doing this my way. And if something hurts, we stop right away. Got it?"

"Yes, I promise," you say, before gripping her face in your hands, and pulling her down for a kiss. She chuckles into your mouth at how desperate you are, but you're past caring about seeming needy.

You're knee was starting to ache from the position you were in, and you knew you needed to say something. If you didn't, there was no way Leah would let it go. You break the kiss, reaching down to attempt to finish pulling your shorts off your body.

"Let me," the blonde says, carefully pulling the shorts down around your knee, pausing when you're completely naked from the waist down. "Are you sure about this?" she asks, studying you closely.

"Leah, please just fuck me," you beg, pulling her closer by her shirt. She keeps her eyes on you as she pulls her hair into a ponytail, getting it out of the way. It makes your stomach flutter with excitement. She strips you of your shirt and bra, tossing them onto the floor to be dealt with later. Leah doesn't speak as she guides you to lay back on the bed, ignoring your eye roll when she props up your knee on a pillow, before leaning over you from your other side.

Her lips ghost over yours, blue eyes boring down at you as you stare up at her, all of your willpower focused on not grabbing her and pulling her onto you. She's made it clear that she's going to take it slow, and she won't touch you before she's ready. She traces your jaw with her fingers, enjoying the way you twitch slightly at the simple touch. She leans down as if to kiss you, instead taking your bottom lip between her teeth, and tugging lightly, before letting go. You can't help the whimper that escapes your mouth, or the plea that follows it.

"Lee, please,"

"How do you want me?" She asks, breath a hot whisper on your lips.

"Anything, fingers, mouth, just touch me," you reply. She only hums in response, and without any more preamble, brings her hand to your hot core. You bend your good knee, pulling it out of the way, and Leah breaks her eye contact with you to look down at where her fingers have found themselves.

"You're wet," she says matter of factly, choosing that moment to press lightly on your clit, before beginning to rub slow, small circles over it.

"Fuck- it's been 4 weeks, Leah," you remind her, ignoring the smug look on her face. She keeps her attention focused on your clit, 2 fingers on it, increasing their speed. After only a minute of this, you're panting, unable to believe how turned on you were. Your eyes fall shut, and you gasp in surprise when Leah's mouth connects with your chest, kissing her over to your nipple, and sucking it into her mouth. She flicks her tongue over it in sync with her fingers on your core, and you're, embarrassingly, already close.

You feel your face turning red, feeling that this is another level of desperate that you weren't eager to fall too. You tense your muscles, wanting more than anything to last longer, throwing an arm over your face to hide your blush. Evidently, Leah takes your movements as an indication of something other than pleasure. You cry out in disapproval when her motions come to a halt.

"Talk to me," she says, pulling your arm away from your face. "Are you hurting?" The smirk is gone from her face, replaced with Concerned Leah's face, brows scrunched, lips pressed into a hard line.

"No, god don't stop," you whine grabbing her hand, and trying to direct it back down; you can feel your orgasm slipping away.

"Your knee feels okay?" she checks again. You sigh, heavily, trying to remind yourself that she was being a good girlfriend, regardless of how frustrating her constant questions were.

"Yes it's fine, but I was close and you ruined it," you pout.

"Oh!" Smug Leah has returned. You don't even care, because her fingers are moving back to your core, and she's picking up right where she left off. It doesn't take long before you're on the edge again, coming with a loud cry of her name as her hand holds your hips down on the mattress, and the other works your through the waves of pleasure.

You got a glimpse of the Leah you knew normally, as she slid down the bed, slotting herself between your legs, barely giving you time to catch your breathe. She hovered over your cunt, taking in the abundant wetness there, but doesn't put her mouth on you. Instead, she rests her cheek on your thigh, gazing up at you.

You look down, frustrated, expecting her to be checking on your knee again. Instead, she's looking at you through hooded eyes, clearly waiting for you to beg for her. Her favorite thing.

"Please," you sigh, reaching for Leah's head, trying to push her closer to you.

"Please what, pretty girl?" She said lowly, not moving any closer.

"Please, I need your mouth on me," you plead, hips bucking up towards her face.

"My pretty girl, dripping all over the sheets for me," Leah said, before burying her face in your pussy. Her tongue feels perfect against you, as she laps at your slick, humming into you, enjoying the salty taste of you.

"Leah, shit, so good," you cry, beginning to grind up into her face.

"Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you" she says, pulling away for just a second to speak, before taking your swollen, sensitive clit into her mouth and suckling. Her fingers move to your entrance, two digits easily slipping in.

"Fuck baby," you moaned, hands lacing through Leah's hair, and holding her against you. She curls her fingers, pressing perfectly against your sweet spot, sucking hard on your clit. Your orgasm hits you harder than the previous one, and your body jerks up into Leah's face as you cry out.

"So good, so pretty when you come for me," Leah says, pulling her mouth away, but keeping her fingers inside of you, only slowing slightly.

"Leah, more," you say, barely coming down from your last orgasm before you feel yourself tumbling into the next.

'There you go, baby, so perfect for me," Leah says, adding a third finger, fucking into you harder. You come for the third time, your body jerking uncontrollably. Your bad knee slips off the pillow it was resting on, and you feel a sharp stab of pain, ending your bliss prematurely.

"Fuck, fuck my knee," you cry, and Leah pulls away from you, hands fluttering over your knee, afraid to touch it and hurt you more.

"Baby?" She asks, as you press your face into the pillow, breathing hard, trying to let the extremely different sensations flowing through your body. "Y/n, are you okay?" Leah asks again when you don't respond.

"I'm okay," you whisper, keeping your face hidden away, trying to blink away the tears in your eyes before Leah can see. You feel her leave the bed, hear her footsteps going down the hall. You roll onto your back again, carefully moving your knee back onto the pillow, breathing through the pain. You don't know where Leah's gone, but you take the opportunity to wipe the tears from your eyes.

The defender returns quickly, and you watch as she speed walks in, hands full with your brace, and ice pack, and several different pill bottles.

"Tell me what you need? Should we go to the hospital?" Leah asks, resting a hand on your cheek. You swallow a laugh, knowing her concern is genuine.

"I'm okay Leah, I promise. I just tweaked it." You assure her, placing your hand over hers and holding it in place.

"Let me put the ice pack on, at least," She says, pulling her hand away from your face, and expertly wrapping it around your knee. She stays standing by the edge of the bed, looking down at you, guilt etched across her features.

"Leah," you start, before she interrupts you.

"No. I knew that wasn't a good idea, we should have waited, and I hurt you." Leah says.

"It's not your fault, Leah," you say, grabbing her hand to try to pull her closer.

"You're right," she says after a moment. "It's your fault. You talked me into this." she glares at you, crossing her arms. Your jaw drops almost comically.

"4 weeks Leah. 4 weeks. I cannot be blamed for my actions." Leah rolls her eyes, snorting. You reach for her hand again, giving her your best pout.

"Come lay with me, please?" You can see Leah's frustration melt away, and she nods, quickly moving to the other side of the bed, wrapping you up in her arms. She's fully clothed, and you're completely naked, and the vulnerability feels good. It's a different kind than the one you'd been forced into the past few weeks; Leah having to help you do everything. This was different, intimate, and it felt good.

"You promise you're okay?" She whispers into your hair.

"Promise." You reply, letting your eyes flutter shut.

"Hmm." She says, considering. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Oh I see, but I'm the needy one," you laugh.

"4 weeks was long for me too," Leah defends, laughing with you. She presses a kiss into your hair, absentmindedly running a hand up and down your arms. The pain in your knee has faded away, but even if it hadn't, your sure it would be gone, even from just a minute in Leah's arms.

-----

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Don't I Mean Anything? - Charles Leclerc

<word count - 945>

"Charles, you can't keep doing this," you groaned as Charles walked into your apartment during the late hours of the night. Again.

This would be the third time in two weeks that he had shown up unannounced and too drunk to drive himself home. "I know, I know, it won't happen again," he dismissed, but he had said the same think so many times that the sentence didn't sound right in your mind anymore.

"I want you gone by nine," you said, watching as he sat himself down on the couch with a wobble. There was a small part of you that wanted to take him in your arms and take care of him until he was sober, and then until his hangover was gone after that.

That small part grew louder and louder each time he stumbled through your front door, and it was becoming hard to ignore. Yet, you reminded yourself that this was his fault in the end, and you had done everything you can. Even if you didn't believe it.

"Nine?! That's so early," he whined like a child, and the way he scrunched his face up in slight annoyance was just as adorable as it was the first time you had seen it.

"Well tough," you said, doing everything you could to remain completely emotionless, as if impartial to the fact that your ex-boyfriend who you were still, very much, in love with was sat on your couch and drunk. Again.

"Baby..." he mumbled, his own eyes widening in surprise as the word slipped past his lips. "Sorry," he added on, and you could tell he was more tipsy that previously anticipated. They say that drunken words are sober thoughts, but you weren't so convinced.

You didn't say anything, you just sent him a sharp glare. He didn't need to do that to you, he didn't need to do any of this, and he clearly couldn't tell how much all of this was hurting you. You stood silent, arms still crossed, almost like you were in defence mode.

"Why are you being so cold?" he quietly asked, noticing how distant you were being. He was waiting for you to bring him a glass of water, get him all comfy and tucked in with a kiss on the forehead to complete the ritual.

Once more, you chose to stay silent, biting your tongue. You felt like ranting at him about how unfair and inconsiderate he was being. It wasn't fair for him to just walk in here and expect your help and hospitality when he was the one that ended things with you. He just had to come crawling back. Again.

"Do I not mean anything to you anymore?" he continued, clearly not having any semblance of a filter on what he was saying. At least he was just saying how he felt, you supposed. But, it didn't fail to agitate you slightly. The fact that he hadn't read the room at all was frustrating.

How he didn't see the pain in your eyes as you barely looked at him and the way you held yourself was unusual. In reality, he had just chosen to ignore it and let his drunk brain run his mouth instead of common sense.

"Of course you do! You're always going to mean something to me, Charles," you rushed, your voice coming out slightly louder than intended. You took a deep breath to compose yourself. The feeling of getting at least some of this on your chest was nice, like a few grams were taken off the pile.

"R-Really?" he stuttered, not expecting that as an answer. He thought you might get snappy at him for always showing up drunk, but he should've know what he'd get for asking such a charged question.

"Yes, Charles. You might not love me anymore, but that's not going to stop me from caring about you as much as my heart will let me. And the fact of the matter is, that's how I feel, and it's not going to change. After tonight, I don't want you coming back here. It's not fair." you rambled, your voice cracking on your last few words.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't know," he said, feeling guilty that you were suffering because of him. To what extent? You hadn't quite let on. But he knew, tonight, he was hurting you. Again.

"Course you didn't, you didn't care enough to know," you spat, your voice cracking even more, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. "Gone by eight," you said, turning and walking to your bedroom.

Slamming the door behind you, you covered your mouth so that he wouldn't be able to hear the pained sobs that you were choking back. "Of course I care..." Charles whispered to himself, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands.

"You're always going to mean something to me..." he reiterated, eyes fixated on the bedroom door that you were behind. You had spent so many nights there together, whether it be within the throws of passion, or just cuddling and enjoying a quiet night in.

But now, you were separated, just as he should've known you would be when he ended things between you. Yet here he was, regretting that very decision. Again.

"I promise, you're always going to mean something to me. I promise," he whispered, wishing you could hear what he was saying. It was a promise meant for only your ears, but it was a promise you'd probably never get to hear.

A/N - Hey lovelies! How have you all been? I think I've been shadowbanned, so if you could reblog this if you read this far, it'd be really really appreciated! Have a wonderful day/night! 💖

|masterlist|this made me feel something|

[nevermorefanfics]

Hi! Can you write a Luke Castellan x female reader, where they’re dating, Luke has a 4 year old little sister (daughter of Hermes) who is inseparable from him and the 3 of them act like a cute little family? I also had a thought of him calling them ‘his girls’. Maybe even a little angst at the end about him betraying the camp and seeing the two of them through an iris message comforting each other before sleep, bc his sister can’t sleep without him.

Thank you so much for sending this request, it was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! 💕

His girls

Pairing: Luke x Reader

Word count: 972

Warnings⚠️: Fluff, against, blood and injurys

..................................................................................

Your table was completely empty since all of your siblings were away, they'd give home over christmas. Seeing everyone laught and have fun with their siblings made you feel so left out. Suddenly you felt two arms wrap around you, Millie. The 4-year old was probably the cutest human being in the entire universe and she always managed to paint a smile on your face.

“Luke is back! He's in the Apollo cabin, their checking a wound.” She told you excitedly. Luke had been gone for almost a month now and you'd missed him so much. Rushing up from the bench you ran to find him, Millie short after.

When you arrived at the Apollo cabin you told Millie to wait outside, if Luke was bleeding a lot then she shouldn’t see it. The first thing you saw was Will treating Luke as he sat in one of their hospital chairs.

“Luke!” You said, happily.

“Y/N!” He coughed. You resched his bed and saw a ginormous wound in his stomach. Fear filled you, what if he wouldn't make it? You couldn't lose him! Millie couldn't lose him. As if saw the fear taking over your eyes Luke mumbled:

“I'm going to be alright sweetheart, when they are done patching me up wouldn't you mind getting Millie?” You answered: “She's waiting outside, I didn't want her to get scared if there was lots of blood.” Luke har you a week smile and you took his hand sitting down in a chair that stood next to his bed.

After about like thirty minutes Will was done and Luke fell asleep. You called Millie and she came and sat in a chair next to you. You reached out for her hand and explained that he was fine, Luke would recovered fully in a couple days and then he could go back to practice. While you were calming her Luke woke up.

“Hi my sweet girls, won't you give me a hug?” Millie basically jumped on him and it was only when you said: “Careful!” She calmly hugged him. Both of them now looked at you and with a sight you hugged him to, you just couldn't say no to these two. Laying your head at Lukes chest he sweetly combed your hair with his fingers, you looked up and kissed him gently, afraid that it somehow would hurt him. He giggled like a child and kissed you harder, like a boy who'd been away from the girl he loved for far to long. Behind you Millie clapped her hands excitedly and a small laugh escaped you.

__________________________________

__________________________________

“Millie are you coming? Luke is waiting for us by the water!” You shouted, waiting for Luke's little sister. The two of you were supposed to meet with Luke by the lake ten minutes ago. Millie hadn't left her cabin yet. You decided to check on her in the almost empty Hermes cabin that you'd been waiting outside of. Walking in you saw Millie crying in the middle of the floor. “Oh gods what's wrong sweetie?” you said lifting her up and hugging her.

“I can't find the bracelets that I was going to give to you and Luke. I made the pearl's and they were so pretty, then yesterday I put them on my nightstand but now they're gone!” She cried. “Alright I'll help you look!” You said walking over to her nightstand.

A few minutes later the bracelets were recovered and you and Millie where walking down to the lake. The bracelet she'd given you was adorable; they were colorful and had your initials on. Luke had a matching one with his initials. As you finally arrived at the lake, Millie riding piggyback on you, Luke waited a bit from the water.

“Lukeeee!” Millie shouted.

“You’re finally here! What took you so long?” He asked rushing forward to take Millie from your back and placing his hand in hers and Millie quickly took your hand in her free one.

“Well Millie lost something, but we found it!” You said handing over his bracelet, which you had in your bag, filled with towels and bathing suits.

“Oh Millie it's beautiful, thank you!” He told her as Millie giggled. When you got to the beach you all changed into bathing suits and jumped into the water. Millie decided that the three of you were going to watch Percy trying to impress Annabeth with his water manipulation, it wasn't going so very well. As you stood there Luke threw his arm around your shoulder watching Millie play with the small water horses that Percy had created. Your little girl was giggling and laughing as they ran on the surface around her.

Luke thought that he'd never meet anyone even half as perfect as you. And as you stood there, watching Millie, he wondered how he'd ended up with these perfect girls, his girls.

____________________________________________________________________

You'd just finished reading Millie a bedtime story when she'd fallen asleep in your arms, no one in your cabin had a problem with her sleeping here after Luke's betrayal. Millie had just cried and cried in the Hermes cabin, not being able to fall asleep without her brother so you'd taken her here. Your bed was more than big enough. Listening to her snores you fell asleep, falling into the world of dreams.

Luke had meant to speak to you, he expected you to be awake when he Iris messaged you, as you'd always had trouble falling asleep. What he didn't expect was his girls curled up in your large bed. A book was sitting at your night stand and he could see your face. You were calm, happy with her. But something seemed to be missing in the large bed, a space that looked like they were saving, saving for him.

[moon-tell-me]

Them having a crush on you...

The outsiders (separate) x GN! reader

Warnings: nothing I don't think :))

DARRY CURTIS

It's been a reaalllyy long time since he's felt this way for anyone

So a small part of him is excited when he realizes it

But the majority of him..?

Well.. that's a different story

He's very busy with work and the family

He just doesn't have any time for love or romance

You understand ://

So it's unlikely he will do much of anything on his own

He will probably even avoid you a bit in hopes of making himself feel better

That being said, if you realize what's going on, and decide to pursue the relationship, he may manage to fit you in his schedule :))

"Hey, Darry.. uhm, could we talk for a second..?" You asked, as you popped up from around the corner, completely catching him off guard. It had been almost two weeks since you two had a proper conversation, and you weren't gonna let it go on any longer.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Okay so this is gonna come as a surprise to no one, but..

Throughout his life he has consistently gotten girlfriends and boyfriends with no issue

Again, no one's surprised

I mean, look at him, he's beautiful

Anyways-

He immediately knows that he likes you

And he very quickly starts planning out how he can go about the situation

It won't take very long for him to make his move, however if you beat him to it, he would definitely be over the moon

There you are, looking as good as ever. He's already decided that he's gonna ask you out later, an- wait.. your walking over to him..?

PONYBOY CURTIS

Poor kid doesn't know wtf is going on at first

All he knows is that he suddenly enjoys your company more then before

It wasn't until you interlocked his fingers with yours one night that he finally became fully aware of his feelings

He is not nearly as subtle about these feelings as he thinks he is.

He's so obvious, you'd have to be pretty inattentive to not notice anything

Based on this, you will likely be making the first move

With a dramatic sigh you let your head fall against his shoulder. The two of you have been studying together for about two hours and your in desperate need of a break. "C'mon, you need to focus." He said, sounding more annoyed then he really was. You grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers and looking up at him pleadingly. "Pleease.?"

DALLAS WINSTON

Ohh boy

Out of allll the guys in Tulsa, you caught his attention?

Lucky 🙄

I love him sm istg

In all seriousness, this is very new to him

He's not used to genuinely caring about someone

Besides Johnny, he's never really loved anything

He's gonna start off with his typical flirting

That won't change until he realizes his feelings

After that, he switches to being a total jerk to you

Mans does not know how to process his feelings

Just give him time tho, he'll figure it all out

Here you are, sitting on the porch of the Curtis house. It's late and everyone is inside the house, save for you and Dal. He's been real difficult lately, although tonight his attitude has noticably improved. As you watch him struggle to light his cancer stick you can't help but wonder, what did he want to ask you.?

JOHNNY CADE

My sweet, respectful boy

He falls head over heels immediately

Everybody realizes his feelings rather quickly too

Including himself

He's not stupid

He notices how his cheeks get all warm

His hands get all sweaty

His knees feel like they might give out

It's a new feeling for him

For once he has someone touching him without causing him pain

I'm gonna fight his parents- WOAH! Who said that!? 😅

If your the type of person who is really affectionate with your friends (me fr) then you might actually kill the poor kid

He asked Dally for advice only to completely ignore it

Turns out Dally sucks at giving good advice, who woulda known?

He was thankful for how dark it had gotten, otherwise you would be able to see just how red his face had gone. For some reason you had decided it would be a great idea to hold his hand out of nowhere. Why can't you see what your doing to him?

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

You guys prolly met in middle school

He pulled some dumb shii and put gum in your hair or something

After that he often teased you

Referring to you as his girlfriend/boyfriend

You better expect a lot of playful flirting with this one

He pretty much confesses his feelings on the daily tbh

Albeit in a way that makes you think it's a joke

Eventually you just kinda realize that hey, maybe he isn't joking

"See, I always knew we were perfect for each other, ever since that day in sixth grade." He teased, throwing his arm around your shoulder only for you to immediately push it off. "Get off of me, would you?"

[auraisereigh]

"Watching the stars"

Chapter two

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: Now that Brennan and Star are hidden away from the world they find comfort in each other for the loss and grief theyre both feeling, all the while theyre supposed to survive in the wild. wc: 3.1k ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Grief and loss, Survival. Let me know if i missed something. Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.

Star's masterlist main masterlist

The next morning I wake up from a pitiful attempt to sleep.

Kind of hard with a dragon breathing down your neck.

It's still early, the sun barely up but after a week hiding in this cave and hunting in a selected area it looks and sounds like most people left Aretia. With other words I can start hunting in a larger area, after all it's difficult to keep a dragon satisfied.

Brennan is still asleep but Marbh is awake so he can give the message to him. I take my bow, arrows and my bag and leave.

If I'm quiet enough I should be able to get a good stack of food for us and the orange dragon that now lives in a cave way too small for it's ego. Most animals should still be out and not hiding, especially since it seems most people left. Animals will notice the silence and appear more.

☆

And animals guaranteed, enough for the three of us. I collected all the food by a tree closer to the cave so I don't have to keep dragging it all back in one go from a farther distance. I look in the direction of the cave, judging by the sun it should be around midday. Slowly one by one I put the animals in the huge bag I took with me, the one my dad packed for me In case something would go wrong... I stare at the bag, the memory still fresh in my mind.

"A survival bag?" I ask my dad, a small smile on my face as I raise my brows at him. "For what? You wanna do another camp trip? Friendly reminder that last time didn't go exactly as we planned." My voice holds amusement. But he looks... dead serious.

"I made it for you in case something goes wrong." My face falls. What is he talking about? "I... I don't understand. What could go wrong? I know we've had a few... things go wrong, but our army is in place. We're prepared." The way he looks at me says he hasn't been completely honest, which makes sense as Xaden and all the other children are gone, moved to a safe place that no one knows about.

"We might have put the army in place but that does not mean we will win when they attack. I'm not risking you getting captured. I have a proposal for you-"

I snap out of my trance, boot steps that crunch leaves and branches making me stand in high alert. It's not Brennan, it can't be. I pull an arrow and lay it on my bow, but I don't aim just yet. From where I'm standing no one can see me through the high bushes by the tree. So whoever is on the other side won't see me. More crunches of leaves. More than one person. I crouch down near the bushes when I hear them talking.

"I don't care how long it takes, I want you to find her." A deep, gruff voice says. "This place is ash. If she was still alive she would've burned when we burned her home." Another one responds, he sounds more on the frightened side. "She's his daughter, his heir and first in line, I want her to watch it happen." The first person bites out again. "Find her." Then all boot steps sound farther and farther away. I lower my bow, trying my best not to make a sound.

They're looking for me. Who? lies beyond me but someone is looking for me.

☆

I'm back by the cave when the sun slowly starts to fall.

Brennan is awake and sitting up against a rock, aside from small conversations we don't talk that much. I suppose he is also going through his own grief.

I drop the bag, making Brennan flinch. He must have been deep in thought. He looks up at me, his messy auburn curls sticking out everywhere. I know he's hungry but I know he won't voice it.

I get to work quietly. Unpacking, skinning and roasting the animals.

Good thing about having a dragon in here. Unlimited fire. And I don't have to put in a single effort except ask.

It's almost a routine now, I hunt, come back, unpack and make the animals ready, Marbh roasts them, we share and at the end of the night I put the fire out and we sleep.

☆

Two nights later Brennan and I sit quietly, eating, while Marbh enjoys some bigger meat I found. Your welcome.

"He always talked about you." Brennan's quiet, rough voice breaks through the fog in my mind. I look at him, my face not showing a single emotion of what I'm feeling.

"Naolin. He always talked about you." He is quiet for a moment and then continues. "Every time he received your letters, or when he wrote one for you. He would always talk about you. Memories, things that reminded him of you. When we sat outside watching the stars..."

A part of my heart cracks, I had kept Naolin from my Thoughts, not wanting to mourn now, I had to stay alive, I can't do both.

I don't respond. I continue eating quietly, not wanting to let my thoughts wander to too painful things.

☆

Over the following days Brennan and I find ourselves talking more, simple topics nothing too deep that could possibly open healing wounds. I managed to get him out of the cave yesterday to get some fresh air. We walked to a lake with a giant carrot following us. We sat down, enjoying the quiet sounds of the water.

With a dragon breathing down on me, cozy.

We're nearing two weeks here, we're both tired but it's too risky going to the open mountains near Riorson house, who knows what's waiting for us there.

☆

I didn't go hunting today, there was no need as I managed to get enough for a few days. It was an opportunity to actually get some sleep that I couldn't deny.

Somewhere in the evening I feel two hands shaking me slowly. I open my eyes, easily recognizing Brennan's face. He looks slightly panicked and before he can say something I hear an extra pair of Boot steps. I immediately take my bow that had been laying right next to me, an arrow close by as I aim at the figure. Was it the person who had been looking for me days prior?

I hold my aim, my eyes adjusting to the light. The figure doesn't move, it holds its hands up in, surrender? Peace?

My eyes finally adjust to the light. My eyes widen slightly as I take him in. My bow lowers and my hands shake slightly.

"Felix?"

☆

taglist: @honethatty12

I currently have five chapters finished for them and I'm also working on a playlist for them. <3

[5iyoomi]

3H Leaders With an Overworked S/O

characters: Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude

warnings: none! just fluff

A/N: this kinda bled into an idea I had for them with an insomniac reader so these are sort of a mix of the two things! written for them pre-timeskip and with a gn reader (with one use of dear, darling & sweetheart, but otherwise nothing pointing towards a specific gender). I haven't written for fe3h in forever hopefully they aren't too ooc

Word Count: 1,770

‎

Dimitri

Like you, he's probably overworked as well

Being a royal and a leader has its merits, yes, even though he doesn't really like all the formalities that come with it, but that doesn't mean it's always easy

He's used to pushing through it, protecting his people and doing anything if it gets pushed onto him. That's his role, after all, and if he can take the pressure off of others then he'll gladly accept it

With you, though, he understands that's not the kind of advice you need. It's not uncommon for him to find you in the Monastery's Library hours after everyone had gone to sleep for the night, hunched over one of the large, elegant tables with stacks of papers and notebooks splayed out around you

He'll sit down with you when he catches the single, dim light on in the otherwise dark room, waving off your questions of how he knew you'd be there as 'just a feeling'

He's realistic, helping you with your workload even if you insist otherwise, that you need to get it done yourself before your deadlines hit. But he'll also hold you to it if you mutter out a 'just one more', his eyes looking between you and the clock mounted on the wall

"Here should be a good stopping point for now, don't you think? You've already finished most of what you needed to get done," Dimitri says with a soft smile, setting a piece of paper into a stack that you'd deemed the 'completed' section.

You'd been there long enough that he had time to go brew the both of you some chamomile tea, hoping the fragrance and sweet notes would help lower your stress. It seemed to be working, your anxiety lessening as you took small sips and noted the fact that you'd at least gotten the bigger, more important things out of the way.

"But-" you start, tapping your pencil against your head in thought, but your words get cut off with a yawn. "There's only a few more left, wouldn't it be better to just finish them?"

Dimitri shakes his head, reaching over to hold his hand out for you. You take it after a moment, interlocking your fingers and sighing when he gives your hand a squeeze. "They aren't due for another few weeks, right? They can wait until morning, you should really get some rest, dear."

You want to protest, tell him it's not even that late, but you've already thrown out every excuse you can think of to get him to not drag you to bed. He wasn't obligated to do any of this for you, and you knew these nights were something that ate into time that he could be using to get some much-needed sleep. So you finally, albeit hesitantly, give in, your teacup long empty and shoulders drooping in defeat. "I guess so-"

The blonde brightens at that, his thumb stroking over your own with a gentleness you'd grown weak to. It was hard to fight him when ocean blue eyes gazed into yours, his love for you obvious in the simple ways he showed his care. "If it helps, you can stay in my room for tonight. I'm sure one night won't hurt."

You nod, sparing a glance at the once disorganized mess of pages and deciding that you'd take his word for it. "I'd like that."

Edelgard

Similar to Dimitri, she's always dealt with things by trooping through them. As a more private person and a leader, she rarely ever lets appearances fall, so you're one of the few people that's seen what she can be like behind closed doors

Thus, her first instinct when she sees you nodding off in class is to gently nudge you awake and tell you to get to bed earlier. It might sound a bit harsh, but she only wants the best for you, and she thinks to what might happen if you were to fall asleep like that in the middle of a battle, which doesn't exactly help either of you (dramatic much?)

But when you tell her it's because you're swamped with work, trying to keep up with everything while simultaneously doing extra for people that, in her words, couldn't take the hint that you were busy, she gets upset

Not at you, but more at herself for not noticing the signs sooner when you're her partner of all things, and for making a comment that may have come off as insensitive. She still struggles with how to deal with these things, especially when it comes to you, emotionally or otherwise, so there's a chance she'll just ask you exactly what you need from her

She's a bit more lenient when it comes down to you staying up since she tends to do the same, but she'll still suggest taking a day off at one point

She'll take you to the greenhouse if you're up to it so that you aren't cooped up in your room all night with the idea that a change of scenery might help you avoid burning out or getting too frustrated

The Monastery was so quiet at night, most of the student body and staff already long asleep or busy with their own things. You only see a few people as you step outside, fingers interlocked with Edelgard's and a small crease in your brow from looking over the same words for hours.

You'd always thought it was beautiful, but lately you had no time to appreciate it, what with assignment after assignment piling up on you, so it was nice to get out for a while, even if the only things that awaited you when you got back were unfinished documents and half-filled in pages.

Scribbled notes that you took when you could hardly keep your eyes open. A breath of fresh air was almost enough to make you forget why you've been so stressed out. Almost.

The greenhouse was no different, the place always well-kept due to the student's tireless work. It made you feel a bit better, walking side by side with Edelgard as you're greeted by greenery and the like.

Pink and purple flowers bloom in one corner, slowly but surely growing underneath the bright moon visible through the glass, while seeds you assume to be newly planted sit beneath fresh soil on the other.

"Look at this one, it's the same color as your eyes." Edelgard says, grabbing your attention. You turn towards her in time for her to slip a flower behind your ear, her thumb brushing over your skin with a thoughtful grin. "It's good to get out, isn't it? That's why we're out here, so you shouldn't worry so much, darling."

You smile, feeling your cheeks and body start to warm. She was so effortlessly sweet sometimes; you think it's going to be the death of you one of these days. "Yeah, you have a point there."

Claude

He probably notices before you even say anything or notice you're feeling off yourself lol

He's an observant character, but it does still surprise you when he asks you if something's wrong out of the blue

"Huh? No, I'm alright, just a bit tired."

He sees right through it, but he doesn't wanna push you, so he'll just keep an eye on you for a while, making sure that you aren't overdoing it or setting aside your basic needs

If he sees that you are, he'll make it a point to put extra food on his plate for you. He'll come knocking on your dorm door every now and again to check on you, sliding a snack or drink your way and staying if you let him, though he mostly distracts you

It'd be hypocritical of him to tell you to take it easy when he's the same way, so he won't exactly tell you what to do, but he'll find a way to get you away from your work if he notices it's causing you too much trouble. He'll also have a polite word with your professor, maybe tell them that you're sick and need a few days off if he thinks it's bad enough

You might huff at him and say that that wasn't necessary, but he'll insist it was

It's another one of those nights, times when Claude comes knocking with another excuse at the ready for why he's there. You know why, it's become obvious over the last few weeks that it's his backwards way of telling you that he cares. He'll never scold you for your habits, but you know exactly what he wants to say even if he doesn't say it.

"Hey, wanna dance with me?" Claude asks after a comfortable silence had grown like a veil over the both of you. He'd made himself very comfortable on your bed, but you never actually minded. It was endearing in a way, really, even if you had to turn him down when you finish writing out a sentence, looking up at him from your desk.

"I'm busy, Claude, you know that."

"Come now, you can hardly even focus. Just a few minutes, promise." He gives you his signature smile, one that's saved for you but still equally mischievous as all of his other ones. He holds out his pinkie finger, chuckling at your muttered seriously? But he doesn't see you saying no. After a few moments of hesitation, you stand up, taking his finger in yours and shaking.

"Fine, but only a few minutes. I'm serious." You say, yelping when he stands up abruptly, pulling you up with him and taking your hands in his. He kisses your knuckles oh so softly, a glint in his eyes that you realize far too late that you shouldn't trust, but he's already got you right where he wants you, and he doesn't plan on letting go.

"I know, I know. I won't take up too much of your time, sweetheart." He hums.

It isn't just a few minutes, song after song playing on the record as you danced into the night. But you can't find it in yourself to be mad. Not when he twirls you around so carefully, a hand placed on the small of your back with your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders.

And certainly not when he coaxes you to bed, not even bringing up the thesis you had to finish since all of your attention was on him now. He presses a kiss to your forehead, wishing you sweet dreams, and you fall asleep in a matter of seconds with him by your side.

[glitterprincesspampers]

The first part of my first story

A sissy for a week - Part 1

It was a normal Monday. The sun had not yet risen and Erik was still in bed. The alarm clock rang, it was time to get up and tackle the first task on the to-do list. Erik came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, to get dressed so that he could go shopping afterwards. He wanted to go to a supermarket first and stock up on food for the whole week, because during the week he was home alone, he wanted to fulfill one of his dreams. He had planned everything exactly since he knew that his fiancée was in Hawaii for a week with her girlfriends for her bachelorette party and he had said a proper goodbye to her and she to him.

She had really taken care of him the night before and the two of them ended up in bed and did a number on each other. After that, she got ready, packed her bags, and Erik gave her a kiss and said with a satisfied smile on his face, ” That was a nice last time together as an unmarried couple. I wish you a nice week, enjoy yourself with your friends and make sure that Stefanie and Mel don't start blowing all the hot guys they see or persuade you to do something you don't want to do. I love you.”

She laughed because she liked it when Erik didn't mince his words and returned the kiss and said to him, “I'll be careful, the two of them will have fun but I'll take care of myself, I promise! And thank you for this last ride before the wedding, the sex afterwards will surely be great too, but certainly different, darling. I love you too and see you in a week, take care.”

With these words, she walked out the front door and got into the minivan that was taking her and her five friends on the trip to the airport.

Now Erik was standing there, getting dressed and marching to the front door. When he had put on his shoes and jacket, he grabbed his car keys and stepped out the door into the small front yard. A friendly “hello” came towards him and he turned to the right, from whence the greeting came. Bethany, his neighbor, was standing there and smiling at him. He returned the greeting just as warmly and thought only of the fact that she was the only one in the neighborhood that week. The house next door had been empty for a month and the neighbors of the last two houses in the row were also on vacation. A young married couple, both women and a not-so-young lady occupied these two houses. All in all, friendly people who gave them a warm welcome when they moved in and with whom they immediately became friends.

Bethany asked where Deborah, Erik's fiancée, had gone and he told her that she was on her hen party for the week. Beth replied: “Oh, I didn't know you were getting married so soon, is everything ready for the big day?”

Erik told her: “Yes, so far everything is ready and done, but it won't be that big of a deal. She's only inviting the colleagues she's with in Hawaii now. Her parents passed away two years ago, and from my side, there aren't many people who come into question.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, I completely forgot,“ replied Beth, who probably only just realized that Erik grew up in an orphanage and didn't necessarily develop close contacts due to his job, which involved a lot of traveling.

“It's all right,” Erik reassured her. “We didn't want to make a big deal out of it anyway, so everything is fine as it is.”

She nodded sympathetically at him and he asked if she needed anything else from the supermarket. She said no, so he marched over to his car and unlocked it. He got behind the wheel and turned on the ignition. He released the handbrake again and drove out of the driveway onto the road. There wasn't much traffic, which didn't surprise him. The terraced houses had once been planned as part of a new housing development, but it was never built beyond the five houses from which he was just driving away. The building authorities had found out in the middle of construction that the building land had not been properly categorized and had stopped the whole thing before more than the access road and the 5 houses were built. So it happened that the houses that had already been sold were left standing to minimize the damage suffered by the construction company due to the building authority's mistake. And so it came about that Erik now lived in one of the five houses, which were about 5 km from the nearest town.

He didn't have to drive long to get to the supermarket in town.

The town itself wasn't huge, but it was big enough to have all the shops, restaurants and bars that make life more enjoyable. It had a population of around 10 to 15 thousand, so you were likely to bump into someone more than twice in a lifetime.

When he arrived at the supermarket and parked the car, Erik grabbed a shopping cart and walked through the sliding door, which slowly opened when he was close enough to let him in. He mainly wanted to stock up on food for the week and then get the rest. What no one knew about Erik was that he wanted to use the week to live out his fantasy one last time. He had discovered years ago that he was very keen on women's underwear even without the women in it. He had then found out more and, while researching on the internet, found out that there was more to it than that and that it seemed almost limitless what possibilities, scenarios, offers and assessors there were. He had then created an account on a platform and it had drawn him under its spell. At the beginning, he couldn't imagine what it was all about and a lot of it was like wearing women's clothes, buying and using sex toys and putting on make-up. However, his curiosity and open mind soon led him to try it all. He regularly wore women's clothing, even during his daily routine under his normal clothing, put on make-up when Debie was not at home with his own make-up and he also tried out what it felt like to walk in high heels. Soon he had crossed that line and he told himself no further than that, but the curiosity and the good feeling gave him the courage to go further and further down the rabbit hole. Then everything started to take on different dimensions without him, who was fully immersed in it, realizing it. He often went to websites that led him to shops that sold extremely feminine clothing and specialized in making dresses and accessories for so-called “sissies”. This is how he found out that there was such a thing as ABDL and sissy babies, and he liked the idea of having something warm and soft between his legs. He had long since lost his shame and self-control. He wanted more and more and more extreme, so that he was no longer afraid of buying sex toys and using his diapers in front of other people in adult chat rooms. At one point, he had even considered going to a real dominatrix, but that was too expensive for him, so he contented himself with letting his fantasies and his and didn't really realize that the instructions of the laughing girls who mocked him online pulled him so deeply into the rabbit hole that he couldn't get out on his own. He only realized that he would have to confess some of it to Debie at some point and that he would have to hide his sissy equipment. Debie had already found out almost everything when she noticed that not all of her panties were where they should be and she had also noticed the box in the basement in his workshop that was there from one day to the next. However, she put the missing panties down to the fact that the pubescent neighbor boy had probably become a little too curious and so she got herself some cameras because she wanted to convict him. So Erik was off the hook and she also assured him that she was only monitoring the house entrances. This secretly reassured Erik, because it meant he knew he could continue without being caught.

Since he now had a week off and had completed all his assignments and didn't have to work again until after the wedding and honeymoon, he could take the time and enjoy a whole week as a sissy. He had already imagined it beautifully and had ordered a pretty sissy dress made of satin online in advance pretty sissy dress made of satin, matching pink adult baby diapers that could hold an extremely large amount, and plastic pants that could be closed so that he could not get any ideas, and even if he did, he could not just get rid of them. He had still struggled with the fact that when he was fully absorbed in the movie, he could get very horny and then the moment, or rather the week, could be over very quickly and he would be back to square one after he came. He also knew that he would simply cut through the thin plastic if he lost control over the fact that he wanted to come but shouldn't. Collecting and locking away all the sharp objects and tools in the house was too much trouble for him, so he had bought lockable and thickly padded mittens, as well as arm and leg restraints, to go with the dress and diapers, so that he could fix himself in every conceivable position for a predetermined time with the help of a homemade, remote-controlled time lock. He had also got camera equipment so that he could present himself in all his glory to the women in the cam chat and a collar and a chastity cage so that he would not get any stupid ideas when changing his diaper.

So Erik just had to buy the food for the week and then quickly go to the hardware store to get chains to hold him wherever he was. He already had the rest at home or was supposed to receive it today, according to the delivery date. So he went to the grocery store and got a week's worth of food and drink, mostly junk food and fruit juices. When he passed the shelf for baby items, he got the idea that he could also get baby food and changing utensils to deepen the moments even more. So he walked through the shelves, carefree and already a little horny, and got these things too. When he arrived at the end of the shelves, it hit him like a flash of inspiration. He could get diapers now, too, then he would have even more time and his adventure would begin even earlier. So he marched off right away and picked out the thickest and cheapest adult diapers he could find, a decision that would take revenge as he would later realize. At the moment, however, he had no idea. When he went to the checkout, he realized that he only had cash with him and therefore could not use the self-checkout. Well, he thought to himself, it's not that bad, it could be for anything, even for me, but nobody knows that. And so he walked confidently, as he truly did, to a checkout where a young lady was working and put everything on the conveyor belt. She typed it in and when she got to the baby food and diapers, she just looked up briefly, but didn't make a big face and told him the amount.

“$150 please,“ she said kindly, and he took out his wallet.

“Here,” said Erik, holding out the bills to her.

She looked at him and smiled, taking the bills. With a nod in the direction of the diapers, she added, “You can also use the bathroom around the corner here, it's secluded and you can't see in because the doors go from floor to ceiling.”

Erik replied with an embarrassed smile, ”They're not for me, they're for my little one.”

He was shocked and blushed a little because at that moment he realized that it was the stupidest excuse he could have chosen.

She grinned cheekily at him and just replied, “Oh, my mistake, I just thought they were too big for a ‘little one’ and I see you have similar circumstances to mine sometimes with long shifts”: and she pointed at his crotch.

Erik looked down and noticed a dark spot on his light-colored jeans. This made him even more nervous. He must have been so ecstatic about buying the diapers that he came without realizing it.

However, he quickly regained his composure and said to her, “So do you also wear diapers if you noticed all that so quickly and know so much about it?”

She laughed and looked at him: “So you too? So you are for them after all, or how should I understand that?”

Erik became nervous and looked around. Fortunately, no one had noticed, the store was quite empty and there was no one else waiting in line.

No, no, they're really for my little one, that's what I call my girlfriend,” he said, and was a bit more composed again because he thought he had saved the situation for himself.

She replied, ‘Oh, okay. That makes sense,’ but she didn't sound very convinced and still grinned, ”Yes, I'm wearing some at the moment too, the way to the staff toilets is too far and we're not allowed in the customer toilets.”

“I see,“ Erik replied. ‘I understand, so this is a pretty tough job!”

She nodded and he asked, ’Could you maybe show me the restroom anyway? I'm not from around here and I want to quickly wipe away that there” – he pointed to the stain on his pants – “must come from the condensation of the frozen tips.”

She raised her eyebrows and said, “Gladly, I just have to close the checkout and then I can show you the toilets, I wanted to take a little smoking break anyway.”

She put a “cash register closed sign” on the security tape and took a handbag from under the counter. Erik looked at it and noticed that it was full and her casual clothes were spilling out of it. She walked around the cash register once and was standing in front of him. She showed him the way by leading the way. Erik ran after her and when they went up a staircase, he inevitably had to stare at her ass. He noticed that she had a pretty nice ass and that the diaper she seemed to be wearing was not very thick because he only noticed a small bulge showing through her pants, almost like normal panties. She turned left again when they reached the end of the stairs and then pointed to a passageway without a door.

“That's the men's room,” she said, adding, ”By the way, I'm Jenny, so today is my last day here, so if we don't run into each other again, it was nice to meet you.”

Erik smiled and said to her: “It was nice to meet you too, I'm Erik. With that said, the two said goodbye to each other and he walked past a sign that he simply ignored, since he knew where he was going.”

When he came to the toilets, he decided on the last cubicle, otherwise the room was also empty. He was quite impressed; for once it smelled good in the room, which was not usual for him in public toilets. So he went into the last cubicle and closed the door behind him and put down his shopping bags. In order not to attract too much attention, he turned on music on his smartphone and just as he was about to put it in one of the bags, he realized that he had also bought fruit, including bananas. When he put them in the cart while shopping, it didn't occur to him, but now it suddenly came over him. He had read that if you shoved a banana up your ass, you would inevitably shoot after a while because you apparently lose control of your sphincter muscle. He never really wanted to shoot himself, he didn't want to cross that line. He thought about it for a moment and came to the conclusion that it's not really poop that would end up in the diaper and that it probably wouldn't work anyway. So he took the risk before he put on a diaper. So he peeled the banana and threw the peel into one of the bags and bent forward a little to make it easier. It tickled a little but the banana was surprisingly easy to insert. When the banana had disappeared into his bottom, he took the thick diaper and put it around his waist while standing. He attached it strip by strip and when he was almost done, he heard a “huhu”

He was startled and looked around, he saw nothing until he looked up and saw a smartphone that had been pushed through the slit between the cabin wall and the ceiling. The camera was aimed right at him and he heard giggling from the neighboring cabin. The smartphone was pulled back and the cabin door next to him opened. He was about to storm out and realized as he opened the door that this was a huge mistake. With his pants between his ankles and the thick diaper around his waist, he was shocked to realize that he had better not ignored the sign at the beginning. Jenny was standing in front of him, the camera still pointed at him, and two women were standing at the sinks, staring at him in amazement and then bursting out laughing. He had been tricked by Jenny, who had filmed him and lured him into the women's room. So there he was, with the diaper on full display for all to see, his face bright red.

The two women at the sink laughed and one said to the other: “Well, you never know what's going to happen these days. You want to put on a new shade of lipstick and then a little pervert comes out of a stall with a diaper.”

The other woman just said, ”Yeah, but look how embarrassed he is, almost like a real baby who is ashamed because he knows he was naughty.”

Both laughed and Jenny already had tears in her eyes. She had now stopped filming and the three exchanged glances that did not bode well for Erik. He himself was star-struck. The three women now approached him and pushed him back into the cabin. He did not notice that he was pushed back so far that he stumbled and fell on his bottom.

They laughed and Jenny bent down to him: “Well, you little shit, did you think I wouldn't notice when a pervert like that is in my store? He had already peed himself and seriously wanted to tell me that the diapers were for his girlfriend.”

She pulled at his trousers, which were still hanging between his legs, and reached into his pocket. She pulled out his wallet and looked at his driver's license.

“Soso,” she said, ”I'll take a picture of it right away, and if you're not good, you'll quickly have other problems than your dirty mind and a full diaper. Do you understand me?”

Erik just nodded and didn't know how he was going to get out of this hell.

One of the other two women said, “What was that smacking sound earlier? Does it have something to do with the banana peel lying there?”

Erik had knocked over the bag when he fell, and the peel was lying next to the nappies, the baby food and the other fruit.

Jenny laughed loudly: “Hahaha no, the little shit shoved it up his bum.”

Both women looked at each other and then, disgusted, at Erik, who was still lying on the floor: ‘So that's what you are, a little fag who shoves bananas up his bum in the ladies’ room and harasses people.”

Erik, who had slowly found his voice again, said, “No, it's true that I...”

He didn't get to finish.

The woman slapped him across the face with the flat of her hand: ”I don't want to hear anything more from you, you pig.”

She grabbed him by the ear and pulled him up. When he was standing, she sat down on the toilet and pulled him over his lap, clamping his legs between hers and pushing down on his upper body. She didn't wait long and a barrage of blows rained down on his half-naked bottom. Erik wanted to scream out loud, but nothing came out; he had to endure this torture for two minutes without interruption. When she let go of him and pulled him out of the cabin, she grabbed him by the crotch; he was soaking wet. Without realizing it, he had wet himself. She slapped him again and he slumped down. This was too much for him, he hadn't imagined his morning like this. When he looked up, he saw Jenny, who must have filmed the whole thing, and who couldn't stop laughing because she was holding her smartphone and the camera was pointed at him again.

“Shall we change the little loser's diapers, look at how full they are?” the other woman asked.

The first one just shook her head and said, ‘No, he should stay in his full diaper, the little one doesn't deserve anything else.’ ”Come on, get up, your pathetic behavior is getting on my nerves again.”

Erik rose.

All three looked at him and Jenny said: “So now pull up your pants and get out of here. I'll think of something for you and then get back to you. If you're good, I won't tell your wife about what you are and what you do.”

When Erik looks at her questioningly and wonders where she got the information about your fiancée from, Jenny points to your engagement ring. Erik started crying and sniffling like a lapdog.

ZACK.

The first woman has slapped him again: “Stop crying, you pathetic wimp, and get out of the toilet.”

Erik fetched his shopping and disappeared from the toilet. That was a bad start to his plan, but the threat from Jenny and being humiliated like that somehow turned him on. So he left the supermarket and sat down on his aching bottom in his car. He drove off in the direction of the hardware store. He grabbed his credit card, which he had left in the car, and when he arrived at the hardware store, he had almost forgotten everything and recovered from the fright. He was still a little shaken, but was able to concentrate enough to do his shopping and then drive home.

[solargojo]

Months ago, you had carefully put Ace's vivre card inside a small globe made from glass and placed it on your wooden nightstand because you were afraid of loosing it— it would slip from your fingers or fly out of your pockets all the time. So, with this, you managed to rest easy for a while.

Then one day, you woke up to the sight of the globe filled with smoke and ashes. The very same day you found out that he was to be executed.

He's still alive, you think. His vivre card hasn't disintegrated completely, it's just burning up.

You want to run to him, but you know that's wishful thinking given that your father is a veteran of the Marine; he'll do something else than just disown you if you even mention you had met several times with a pirate. Even more so if you say that said pirate was Fire Fist Ace, too.

The moonlight makes you feel scared even when your body is filled with cold dread. You're helpless and you can't do anything more than hope, as if that isn't what you've been doing ever since he left, anyway.

"When will you be back?" You asked him all that time ago. Quiet and silently wishing.

He had laughed, pulling out his vivre card out of the little pouch on his leg, showing it to you with a smile on his face.

"Can't exactly say when," he hummed, putting his card into your hand. "But with this, you'll at least know how I'm fairing out. And if you ever get out of this island, maybe you can even come to me yourself."

There hasn't been a moment where you didn't want to go out after him. Even more now, when he's weeks away from being killed by the very same people your father taught you were good and righteous.

---

Days pass and no good news come back; you wish to read that whitebeard clashed into the Marine and rescued Ace, but there isn't anything that serves to console you.

You get off the chair in front of the window that allows you to look outside; walking to your bed with empty steps.

You look at the globe and see more ash and smoke.

How much time did the townspeople said there was until the execution? You've been too out of touch ever since you found out. Not listening, not talking and you also wouldn't have been eating if it wasn't for the maids coming into your room with meals every day.

Is it weeks that you have left? Ah, no, that's not it... you have hours, yes. You still have hours before he leaves you completely.

The clock on the wall ticks and you feel like you can't breathe anymore.

You have hours? Just hours before he's gone completely from your life? Before they take him from you?

No, no, no, no, no, nononononononono— you think you fall down the last steps of the stairs, not even registering the worried questions from your mother as she sees your bloody knees or your crying face. You rush out and run to the shore as fast as you can, not caring about the looks some people shoot at you.

You won't reach Marineford, of course not. What are you doing?

You only snap back into reality when you hear your mother screaming behind you. When the waves hit your hips and you look back to her with your heart hanging heavily on your throat.

You're trying to reach him; because he's drifting away too quickly and you'll be damned to let him go. Not like this, you plead. Please, God, Don't take him away from me.

The globe— she's standing with the globe! you can't reach Ace if you don't have his vivre card, stupid you.

Your vision is blurry with tears, and when you blink them away, you don't see more ash or smoke.

"He's gone," she breathes out, gulping for air. "He's gone, love. It's too late."

Oh.

Oh.

Of course it's too late. Maybe if you would've ran faster, done something the moment you found out—

No... you wouldn't have reached him anyway.

You can't reach ash and smoke, the wind will take it away more quickly.

[shrimptiger]

Alright, normally I don't talk about drama but at this point, I'm pretty tired of it, so I'll just get this off my mind, because it's not like I'll change anything, but YALL ARE BEING SO FUCKING WEIRD WITH THIS LANDO AND MAGUI BULLSHIT.

I've never looked into it, but I'm just trying to scroll on tiktok or instagram and every few weeks I just get like 10 posts like "oh, Lando is in *place*, guess who else is there?", or I'll get a random clip of Lando in public that seems perfectly normal, oppen the comments, and everyone is saying that he's carrying her phone or something.

I can not understand why people care so much, it's not confirmed weather they are dating or not, it's literally just fans making speculations that have gone so far there are literal people who think they are in a public relationship because of so many people posting them and saying that they are 100% dating. If you want to speculate, do whatever you want, I can't stop you, but please just stop spreading misinformation.

I don't know what they are doing, and I don't care, I'm just minding my own business and you should too, whatever they're doing just let them live their lives and be happy for them or fucking explode with jealousy or whatever the fuck quietly, because I'm sick of my recommended/home/for you pages just being flodded with this bullshit.

If you want to know what I think about them, tho: from what I've seen it seems like he doesn't even interact with her but she just keeps trying to chase after him, I saw on tiktok a few months ago that she posted a picture of her infront of his apparent building or something and dating or not, I think that's freakish behaviour, and I really think she should delete that if she hasn't already, atleast for his privacy if not her decency because that is making her look like a hella obsessed fangirl. Obviously, I didn't randomly start thinking and ranting about this, so I'll tell you that what made me do this if a reel that popped up in my instagram feed from a f1 gossip accont of them being spotted togeder at a new years party in Dubai. That clip is gross to me, because you can see him ducking away from the camera and it was even mentioned in the caption, and people in the comments were laughing because "oh, he's so ashamed to be with her" or that they were holding hands (to me, that just looks like he was holding her shoulder, some people also said that she grabbed his hand when he pulled it back but I didn't see that)

Honestly, whatever, if they're dting, good for them, if not, also good for them, people alredy ruined Landos last realtionship so I completely understand him wanting to keep this secret if they are, even tho she keep hinting at it, but maybe she's just an obsessed friend, who the fuck knows?

I also won't post that clip, because I can't download it and sharing the link could show my account, so I just won't do that, which is probably for the better, we should just respect his privacy, because none of us would like being recorded 24/7 and posted online, even if that is part of his job, just let him live his life off the track.

This might be full of typos, I literally can not be bothered to read through this and check so whatever, feel free to rant about this in my comments, reblogs, or my ask box, just don't go in my dms, I'm here to speak my mind, not argue.

[cosmic-crybaby]

Break My Heart Again- Tommy Shelby x Reader

Part 2

Summary: After being childhood friends, you and Thomas made a promise one day to get married, but when he returns from France, he comes back a completely different man.

Warnings: ANGST, Tommy being a jerk, talk of trauma/death/etc. Platonic(?) betrayal.

It had been what seemed like weeks after the men were shipped off to France to fight in the war. When in reality, it had been only a week. [Name] had went back to work rather quickly, her mother preferring not to have her daughter mope around the house like a widow. So, she wrote her first letter to him.

Thomas,

You've just left us and it's already quiet here. Too quiet. The betting shop, the street, and the pub are all silent compared to the liveliness we were used to when you were home. When we came back from the platform, Polly, Ada, Martha, and I had walked in silence. Even Finn wasn't being his usual disorderly self. It's almost as if no one knew how to fill the silence. No one can fill the void that you three left.

In all honesty, I am scared. Terrified something will happen, and you won't return home to us. I want you to know how much I think about you, how much I need you to come home to me. I want you to be my first everything, I want you to keep that promise you made me before you left. Even now, as I write this letter, I stare at the ring on my finger, imagining how our future would be. We will pray for you every morning for a safe return.

Stay safe and please watch over each other. We are sending our love and prayers.

Sincerely, Your love [Name].

The whole of Small Heath seemed to be silent the first few days, but the women quickly took over while most of the men were gone. She had worked and worked everyday with the other women in the shop. Polly and Ada were strong women, and they were cracking down on the books like no other. They had involved themselves with their work that [Name] didn't expect her letter to come a few weeks later. Ada came running in with the post, handing her Aunt Polly the letters, and dropping Thomas' letter on the desk in front of her new close friend.

[Name] had never pulled out her letter opener so quickly. She nearly missed the blade as her hands shook to open it. The pages of parchment fell on the desk, unfolding it to read the letter he sent. Her colorful eyes went wide as she read the first page, heart fluttering and beating fast as she imagined his voice saying these words.

[Name],

When the train had left the station, I had already found myself missing home. We Small Heath boys sat together and no one knew what to say. We try to stay optimistic but news is that the odds are not in our favor. It hits harder the further we are from home. I am currently at a training camp, and even when my face is in the mud I still think of you. Your eyes, your smile, your voice. You visit me in my dreams, even when I'm in this hell you still feel like home.

No matter how long this will last, it will be difficult for you as it is for us. But Polly with take good care of you, you are no doubt a part of this family already. You will soon be a Shelby. I had never forgotten my promise to you. You are my dearest friend, and the most beautiful girl I had ever met. I knew from the day we met, you were special.

I will be safe [Name] I promise you that. We are going to make this out alive and you and I will get married and have our future together, building our legacy. Keep your thoughts clear and your mind positive until our return.

Until I write again my Love, Tommy.

The single tear ran down her cheek. Smiling a bit as she folded the paper again, placing it back in the envelope and into the drawer. Hearing Polly and Ada read the letters out loud from Arthur and John as they laughed through the sniffles. It made her lean back into her chair, looking up from the ring to the ceiling.

"[Name]! What did Tommy say?" Ada ran into her office, leaning on the door frame. [Name] turns to the younger Shelby sibling.

"Wouldn't you like to know," She teased with a light-hearted smirk.

"Come off it, lemme see!" Ada skipped to the desk, sitting down on top as [Name] gave in and took out the letter again, handing it to Ada. She smiles brightly as she read over the letter.

"Oh, [Name], that's so nice...I've never heard him be so...well, that before," She laughed. The girl tsked and grabbed the letters back from the Shelby.

"You'd be surprised, he's quite the romantic," She arched a brow at Ada.

"Yeah sure..." She shook her head.

"How are John and Arthur doing?" She had asked, putting the letters back.

"As good as they can be, [Name]...as good as they can be..." She paused. "Have you talked to Martha?" Ada asked. [Name] shook her head.

"Is she still sick?" She asked, her voice laced with worry.

"We think so, Polly's gonna visit her after work today, give her some medicine make sure she's okay, but just don't say anything to Tommy about it...She doesn't want John to worry," Ada explained.

"Of course, your secret is safe with me," Her lips formed into a tight lipped smile.

"I'll leave ya to write your letters," Ada hopped off of the desk and left her office. [Name] lets out a heavy sigh, moving the record books out of the way to pull the typewriter forward, placing the paper in before thinking of what exactly to write. How she could pour her feelings into one letter. Taking her fingers away from the keys to take a quick prayer, the same prayer that Polly taught all of the girls at the shop.

---

It had been years since the men from Small Heath had left. During those years, the two of them wrote letters back and forth as often as they could. At some point the letters began to slow. Anyone could imagine the reason why. In the last letter Tommy sent, he gave [Name] an idea of what he had to endure. The carnage and violence was only the beginning. The deaths he encountered, the injury and damage that had happened to him physically and mentally was enough to hurt her. Just from reading it. It was the middle of July of 1918. She was writing another letter to Thomas.

Thomas,

I received your letter last night. I miss you more than words can describe. Everything is starting to feel like normal again, as normal as is can be. I suppose the women taking over the jobs while most of the male population being away was the norm for the time being. It was still strange though. However, business has been slow recently. Ever since Martha had passed Polly and I had been taking turns to take care of the kids. Cooking for them and cleaning up after them nearly every day was just as hard as I imagined, Martha made it look so easy. Please give John my condolences once again and that we are thinking of him. And let me know how he is holding up.

The horses are looking healthy, Curly has been taking good care of them. My mother and I take walks in your uncles yard after dinner nearly every night just to see how the horses are doing, and so far he has been doing a wonderful job.

As much as I want to keep this letter forward-looking and cheerful, I do hope you are doing alright Tommy. The last letter you sent me had me worried for you. You told me you were going to be in charge of digging tunnels to bury explosives, I just hope you make it out alive. You had been there for me when my father had passed, and I hope you will let me be there for you after this is all over. Of course I have no real insight of what you are going through, but I hope you are safe. You were always so determined and strong. Make us proud, you always do.

Please give my love and support to your brothers.

Your Love, [Name].

It took months to receive a letter back. Longer than usual, but you didn't question it as you knew his job was hard, but you'd be lying if part of you didn't think the worst. But those clouds that plagued your mind were clear upon seeing his letter. It was a short one this time, but you imagined that he barely had any time to write these days.

[Name],

I am writing this by candlelight, Danny and Freddie doing the same. Writing wills and writing home. I have left everything I had to the family, you included. I'm sorry it's not much or what we had planned, but this is inevitable.

Knowing what's waiting at home encourages me and I will do my best to come out alive.

I will make sure to relay your kind words to John next time I see him.

Until I write again, SMG, Tommy.

Her hands shook as she read over the short letter. Again and Again she couldn't believe what he was saying. She set the letter in the desk drawer, along with the other piles of letters, before shutting it. She didn't want to believe it, not one bit. She was still hopeful that he would live. He even said 'Until I write again,'...but she didn't expect the letters to completely stop coming after that. No matter how many letters she had sent his way, she still didn't receive one back.

Weeks had passed, as Ada and Polly were receiving letters back to back every week, while [Name] came to an empty desk, but she never told them, afraid to hear if they received his letters as well or not. It made her heart hurt to think of the possibilities.

On November eleventh, a boy ran through the streets blaring the news. The war had ended. There was a shift in the air after the news broke of the war ending and the men finally returning home. The entirety of Small Heath seemed to be rushing to prepare for the return of the soldiers. Even Polly seemed increasingly distracted as she prepared for the return of her nephews, leaning on [Name] to review additional books and records. But tensions arise further as the official date was announced of the soldiers arrival.

Ada and the other girls grew giddier with each passing day, making [Name] just want to smack them. She was happy for them of course but, how could she witness their excitement for their men if she hadn't heard from hers in months. When the day finally arrived, it felt like the entire town was rushing to the station. Polly and Ada were waiting in anticipation for the train to arrive, while [Name] kept her brows stern in worry as she kept her gaze to the cement floor. She honestly had no idea what to expect. If he wasn't to return she would be heartbroken, if he was she would be confused by the cold shoulder he gave her. The sound of people cheering and screaming caught her attention as the train approached. Polly and Ada pushed their way forward as the train came to a stop. [Name] made sure to hold onto Finn as tight as she could so he wouldn't get lost in the crowd.

"Where are they?" Polly asked, excitement seeping in her voice.

"I dunno, [Name], do you see 'em?" Ada asked as she pulled her quiet friend along. Her eyes barely scanned the area as families reunited in tears, the boys finding their family members and just melting into their embrace.

"Um..." [Name] tried to get a better look, but the hordes of people blocked her vision.

"[Name]!" Ada called next to her...and she felt your heart drop. "I see them! Aunt Pol, look! There they are!"

[Name] couldn't catch her breath as Ada pointed somewhere in the distance. She squealed as she pulled [Name] with her. The closer they got, the more her heart began to beat. It felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. She almost didn't want to lay her eyes upon them. In fear she would end up like the women receiving bad news that their own soldier had died in the battlefield.

But, she finally looked up. Ada, Finn, and Polly running to hug Arthur and John. [Name] stood in her place as she met this eyes. Those icy blue eyes and suddenly the air flew back into her lungs.

He was alive.

"Thomas?" She called, he stared at her. "Thomas!" She took off from her planted state and ran towards him. Throwing herself in his arms as she held him tightly, his arms wrapped around her tightly as he burred his face into her neck, inhaling deeply. She smelled like florals, an exotic blend of jasmine and violet. She smelled like home.

"You're okay...you're alive," She whispered to remind herself that he was in the flesh. She lifted her head to look at him, tears flooding her eyes as she rekindled with him. His hair was cut, short on the sides and back, nearly to the root with longer hair on the top that draped just across his forehead. The square of his jaw was clenched and sunk at the cheeks, sharp cheek bones...sharp enough to cut glass. Dark circles under his eyes and pale skin, but the same freckles littered his nose and cheeks. He looked so different. But nothing could beat the look in his eyes. He looked like a man that had gone through hell.

She supposed he actually did.

"My love? Are you really here with me?" She asked him, bringing her hands up to his face.

"I am...[Name], I'm here," He slightly smiled at her as he kissed her forehead. She knew he was physically here, but part of her knew mentally...he was distancing himself.

As the days passed, his once beautiful, vibrant blue eyes turned dull and emotionless. Just like before, he was sweet with her at first, but he started to grow cold. On some nights, she would sleep in his small bed, just waiting for him to come home in the late hours. When he did come home late, he would be drunk and simply stumble into bed, the faint smell of roses on his neck. He was a shell of the man she used to love.

One morning, she walked into his office.

"We need to talk," She told him, standing in the doorway sheepishly. He barely looked up at her before lighting a cigarette.

"What is it [Name], I am extremely busy," He huffed. The woman rolled her eyes, clenching her jaw as she closed the door behind her and walked to his desk until she were standing in front of him.

"You have been acting strange with me all these weeks, Tommy...What's happened?" She finally asked.

"Nothing happened, [Name]…Is that all this is about?" He asked, standing to grab some books from his shelf to look over, still avoiding her eyes. She almost felt delirious as she just wanted him to look at her. Her eyes followed him.

"You barely talk to me-"

"We're talking now," He quipped. She refrained from tearing her own hair out at how dismissive he was being.

"Hardly..."

"What is the point of this conversation [Name]?" He asked, arching a brow as he went back to his desk, again her body followed him, facing him again.

"The point is you don't treat me like I matter to you anymore, you hardly treat me as your bride-to-be let alone a friend! Does our friendship even matter to you anymore?"

He stayed silent as he just kept his head down.

"For Christ sake Thomas, look at me!" She shouted in frustration. His head snapped up to look at her. Surprised she had raised her voice as she had been so quiet since his return.

"You want to know what really happened, [Name]? Eh?" He quickly stood up and stalked towards her, her breath shuttered a bit as she was backed away into the wall, he stood tall over her.

"I saw people die, for four fucken' years! I nearly died in those tunnels, drowning in the mud and still, you assume I'll forget that ever happened?!" He shouted, getting closer.

"I don't blame you for what happened while you were gone...I understand-"

"No you don't [Name], stop fucken' saying you understand me when you don't! You weren't there, you will never understand what happened to me out there!"

"So what changed Thomas?" She asked, her lip trembling a bit. "What did I do to make you treat me this way?"

He scoffed, shaking his head as he pushed himself off of the wall and distanced himself from her.

"I thought you died out there Thomas, you didn't respond to my letters for weeks, I...I was so scared, and to find out you were alive and now? You treat me like a stranger... What did I do wrong?" Her voice was stern, but even Thomas heard the unstable wavering of some of the words. Thomas eyed her, looking at her like she was some common woman, not his closest friend and love of his life.

"You drain me...just being with you is exhausting, I mean for fucks sake [Name], you cling to me more that a fuckin' leach from the cut,"

"A leach?...That's what you think of me now?" She shook her head.

He hesitated.

"So that promise you made me was all fake?"

'What can I say? France gave me clarity..." He shrugged. [Name] was fuming. This wasn't the man she loved. Not anymore.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I loved you Thomas...But you're not the man I fell in love with,"

Thomas bit his lip before reaching into his pocket to grab another cigarette. There was still light in his eyes but he was too deep in his memories of France that he couldn't get out. He hardly slept as he heard the digging in the walls every night. She would have made those noises from his head and those terrors in his dreams if he had just given her the chance. He'd rather spend his nights elsewhere getting drunk and sleeping with the prostitute he met shortly after returning home.

"The old me died in the tunnels..." He spoke softly. She wanted nothing but to just kiss him and tell him everything would be okay. But the memories haunted him. And therefor turned her love away.

"I suppose the new you doesn't have love for anyone?"

"No," He replied quickly.

She nodded slowly. Reaching into her left hand and debating if she wanted to return the ring he gave her before he left. Tears brimmed her eyes as she slipped the gold band off of her finger. Thomas' eyes widened ever so slightly as he watched her walk over to him, grabbing his hand and placing the ring in his palm before folding his fingers over it, moving past him as she left his office without any last words.

she had stormed to her own office, slamming the door and quickly gathering her thoughts before gathering her things. She had left the shop in silence, Polly had called her name as she watched [Name] leave without a trace.

"Where has she gone, why is she leaving?" She asked her nephews and niece before going to investigate the now empty office. Thomas watched in shameful silence as Polly confirmed that her things were gone. Though the reason was unknown, Polly accused of Thomas being the reason for the young woman's departure. After she had voiced her (harsh) words, she left him in silence again.

"Trouble in paradise?" His brother asked, smirking a bit after watched their aunt butchering him with her words.

"Shut up John," He rolled his eyes before returning to work.

---

[Tag List]

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @milljane @cyphah @diosa-ahre-blog @badlandsbrunette

[authorhjk1]

D

Karina X Male Reader

"Aren't you going to work?"

Ahin looks at you surprised, when you say goodbye to her.

"No."

You look up from your laptop.

"Then why are you wearing a suit?"

You don't respond to her question, checking the time.

"The driver should be here already. You can go outside."

Ahin looks like she wants to argue, but she realizes, that if you aren't going to work, you won't drive her.

"Alright. See you tonight?"

You smile at her.

"Goodbye."

The blonde looks at you, trying to figure out if that was a yes or no from your side. You pretend you don't care if she keeps standing there, focusing your attention back to the laptop.

A moment later, you hear the door.

You sigh, as you watch her leave. Your screen showing the camera footage of your driveway.

Once the car is gone, you get up and pour yourself some green tea.

You don't know what to do. Which is actually pretty rare.

You realize that you really enjoy Ahin's company. And no one can deny that the sex is mind blowing. But you feel like she is trying to get closer.

You had only one girlfriend before. You broke up with her two years ago, after you found out that she was only dating you for your money. She didn't do anything than spend your money. So after two weeks it was over.

But you feel like Ahin is something different. You aren't sure yet though. You don't know her well enough. Maybe she is just acting?

You groan, as you sit back down.

The problem with a lot of money is, you don't know if a woman genuinely likes you for you, or your money.

You try to concentrate on the unfinished email you are writing, as you realize that Ahin is on your mind once again.

"Can you get into more detail about that?"

"Yes, sir."

You lean back, as you watch the man in front of you explaining how the company is going to rebuild itself.

Right now, you are at a company, which almost went bankrupt a couple of weeks ago. You liked the location of the buildings, so you bought. You thought, they would either survive and you can build them back up again, or they won't make it and you can use the place for something else.

The company used to be one of the best selling meat companies in Korea, before it went under, due to some problem with the meat they produced.

You changed their image and their label completely, renamed them, and are now trying to bring them back to the top.

There are still a couple of things to figure out, but you know it's starting to go well.

Once the man's presentation is finished, you leave the building, ready to go back to the company, which you bought three weeks ago.

Walking up to your Ferrari 812, you open the door before getting in.

You don't own a lot of cars for a person with so much money as you, but you do have a couple of good ones.

Not wanting to pay too much money you only brought three of them with you to Korea. Because here, you have to pay extra high taxes for cars which aren't made in Korea.

The company's headquarters aren't in Seoul, so you have to drive back a little while.

After around twenty minutes, you see a car on the side of the street. You don't have much time before your next meeting, but you have some time to spare. You stop the car a few meters away, before you walk to the person that is leaning over the engine.

"Can I help you?"

The man looks at you and then at your car.

"Do you know anything about cars?"

You force yourself to smile, before you look at the car.

"What's wrong?"

While the man explains the problem, the door in the back opens.

"Managernim. We are already going to be late and-"

Her voice trails off when she sees you.

You can't help but look at her, as her dress seems to sparkle slightly in the midday sun.

"Hello, nice to meet you. Are you the guy with the tow truck?"

She extends her hand and you look at it.

"I'm afraid not."

You point at your car, which is parked on the other side o the street, a couple of meters behind theirs.

"It got the right colour though."

You see her smile.

"This is your car?"

You nod, as you hear her disbelieving voice.

"Your car won't run anytime soon."

You pat the man on the back, before standing up straight again.

"Alright, thanks for your help though. Then we have to cancel our appointment."

He takes out his phone and you say goodbye to the woman standing in front of you.

Her face looks somewhat familiar. You are sure you have seen her before. Recently even.

Once you get back into your car, your phone rings.

"Yes?"

"Here is Do-yun, sir."

"What is it? I will be there soon."

"We just got a call from the manager from one of our models."

You wonder for a moment, who it might be. Except for Ahin, there is only one other model for your company currently and she was supposed to have her photoshoot with Ahin today.

You know that the blonde's girl group just disbanded, so you actually don't know if she has a manager.

But the second one is an active singer. You don't know her face, but you think her name started with a K or a J? You don't remember.

"What are they saying?"

"That she had another schedule this morning and on their way, their car broke down."

You chuckle at the coincidence, as you look at the man ahead, who is now probably calling a tow truck.

"Why don't they take a taxi or something?"

"They are not in the city."

Suddenly it starts to dawn on you, as you see the woman leaning against the other car. She definitely looks like model material.

"Send me a picture of her with her name."

You don't wait for a reply and hang up.

A second later you get an email. Opening the picture, you look at the woman outside again.

This is the one.

She looks at you in question, as you get out of your car again and work towards the two of them.

Her eyes widen when you talk to her.

"Miss Yu?"

"Yes? How do you know me? Are you a fan?"

"No. I'm (y/n) (l/n)."

She tilts her head a little, wondering if she has met you before.

You are amused at the fact that she doesn't know who you are.

"If you want to, I can take you to your photoshoot. It's on my way."

Now she looks at you a little worried.

"I'm not a stalker or anything."

You smile at her and you can see the tension leave her body, but she still looks curious.

"Then how do you know all this?"

"Your dress is for the photoshoot, right?"

She nods, still amazed at how you know so much.

"We were in a hurry already before we left, so I thought I should change before I arrive."

"The brand you are modeling for."

You gesture at the logo on the dress.

"It's mine."

Her stunned face shows you that she didn't expect to meet you.

"But..."

You laugh at her speechlessness.

"Well, I don't own the whole company, but I'm in charge of what happens through out most of Asia."

"You own so much of Diesel?"

Extending your hand, you smile at her.

"If you want to, I can give you a ride."

"Well, thanks but..."

She looks at her manager helplessly, but he nods. Still too stunned to speak.

"Alright. Fine."

She takes your hand with a smile and you guide her towards the car.

Once the two of you sit, you start the engine.

"If we hurry up, you can be there before their lunch break is over."

"I'm not sure we are allowed to drive that fast."

"No one is here. And I hope you won't tell on me?"

You wink at her.

"Buckle up, Miss Yu."

"Please,"

She gives you a smile.

"Call me Karina."

Until you reach Seoul, Karina doesn't talk much. Maybe that's because you really are driving a little fast. But with a car like this, you need to drive faster from time to time, when no one is around. And it's not like you can't pay a ticket.

As soon as you enter the city though, Karina becomes more talkative.

You listen to her, as you make your way through the streets, occasionally asking a question, or answering one of hers.

"I'm sorry that I didn't recognize you, or even knew who you are."

You wave it off.

"I don't care. I like being able to go around without everyone looking at me."

You glance at her.

"That's probably a freedom you don't have."

Karina nods slightly.

"Sometimes, I whish I could just spend some time alone. Without a camera or anything."

You sigh.

"Well, then maybe I shouldn't be driving you to a photoshoot. You want to go to my place?"

You try to make your question as light as possible, as you keep your focus on the road.

Karina giggles slightly, but shakes her head.

"I'm sure you would lose money, if I don't do my job."

"That's true."

You hold at a red light.

"Plus, I just met you twenty minutes ago. At least buy me dinner."

"It's too early for dinner. What would you think about lunch?"

She shakes her head in disbelief, before smiling at you.

"Why not?"

Over the car's Bluetooth, you call your assistant at your company.

It takes you another thirty minutes, until you finally pull up in front of the building.

The company at this location is a mix of store, warehouse and development, designing clothes, more appealing to the Asian market.

Parking in your designated spot, you walk around the car before opening the door. You help Karina out of your Ferrari, since her dress is a little short.

The set for the photoshoots are in the basement of the first huge building, so you take the elevator to the lowest floor.

Once you arrive, you see that your prediction was true. Everyone is at the cafeteria.

One of the sets consist of a black Kia with a white wall behind it.

You aren't much of a fashion guy, but it's probably not a bad idea to show Korean idols with Korean cars, when you want to sell clothes in Korea.

Of course the label of the car is gone, but you have seen a lot of cars and people who know even a little bit about cars will recognize the brand.

"Since they are all eating upstairs, we will have lunch here."

You open the door to the dressing room, letting Karina step inside first.

The sushi you ordered is arranged on a small coffee table in the middle of the room. You motion for her to sit down, before taking your place on the couch next to her.

"I never expected a rich guy to eat like this."

Karina smiles at you, curious.

"As long as it tastes good, I can eat anything anywhere."

"You are like me, then."

She chuckles, before taking the chopsticks, which are lying on the side of the three big plates of sushi.

She hands you yours. Your fingers touch and you are sure you can see her blush a little, as you take a second longer to move away.

"I know you wanted to get dinner, but isn't it a little early for whine?"

You raise your eyebrow, as Karina points at two plastic cups, which are standing on the table.

Picking one, you take a sip.

"Seems like my assistant tried to be funny."

"Why?"

"It's grape juice."

She giggles as she takes the other cup, before tasting it.

"You are right."

When you see her smile at you, you realize how small the couch is. Your shoulders are almost touching, but Karina doesn't seem to mind.

"I will enjoy the meal then."

"Please do."

The two of you start to eat, while you keep up the conversation.

While Karina tells you a funny story about her band mate Winter and herself, you hear your phone buzzing on the table.

"Sorry, have to take this."

She looks a little disappointed, but nods.

"(L/n)."

Karina doesn't know what is spoken on the other line. She only hears what you are saying.

"Since when?"

She sees you furrowing your eyebrows, as the other person talks.

"Why haven't you told me this sooner?"

While one of your hands is holding your phone, the other is loosening your tie. It's a habit you picked up, when you try to come up with a quick solution.

As Karina watches you, she tries to take another pice of sushi. But for some reason she can't take her eyes off you.

She already liked your suit, when she met you on the road. Your playful attempt to ask her for a date made her think more than you would have thought.

When you ruffle your hair with your free hand, as you listen, Karina bites her lip unconsciously. Not taking her eyes off you, she is still trying to get next piece. Not knowing she is trying to pick one up from the empty table and not from the plate.

"I will come over, then."

Your words make Karina come back to reality. She doesn't want you to leave already, she is really enjoying your company.

"Yes, I will stay at a hotel. Make sure to get me a plane for this evening. I should be there by tomorrow morning then."

Hanging up, you catch Karina staring at you. She shyly looks away, realizing her aim for the sushi was way off.

"Did something bad happen?"

She asks you, after you sit down next to her again.

"Everything is fine. I just have to take care of something."

The two of you keep eating, until Karina drops her piece of sushi by accident. Or so you think.

On instinct, both of you lean down to pick it up. When her hand closes around it, yours touches hers.

The two of you look at each other, your noses almost touching.

"Damn, you're pretty."

It just slipped out. You have seen her for a while now and she looked beautiful this entire time. Her dress hugs her body tightly, showing off her curves. Now that you are seeing her face up close, you can't hold back anymore.

To your surprise, Karina doesn't blush and pull away. Instead she leans forward, closing her eyes.

Your lips touch carefully at first. Just for a moment. Then Karina retreats a little. Her eyes still closed, she leans closer again, this time the kiss lasts longer. Her lips taste like the grape juice she just drank and their softness makes you want more.

You hear a slight sound, as Karina lets the sushi piece fall onto the floor, while her hand moves up. Yours is still on hers and you take her hand into yours.

You feel her knees against yours and her other hand, which is resting on your shoulder.

Although she is wearing these heavy looking boots, she is surprisingly light, as you pull her onto your lap.

She smiles into the kiss, as both of her hands are now holding your face. Yours hold her hips, as the two of you keep making out.

When you finally pull away to breathe, Karina giggles slightly.

"I never thought I would do something like this."

"Lets find out."

Because her neck is covered by her dress, you start with kissing her shoulders. She moves her hands, grabbing your hair lightly, as you make her shiver.

No one has kissed her like this before. Although the young woman does have a little experience, she is wowed at how good you are.

One of your hand slowly grazes over her dress, moving upwards. You trace the outlines of her curves, as you reach her chest.

Letting your hand glide over her clothed tits, you feel them, before you hold her shoulder.

Your other hand drops lower, making its way to the hem of her dress.

Feeling her move a little on your lap, makes your pants uncomfortable tight. Her blushing cheeks show that she is feeling you underneath her.

Once your hand is under her dress, you let it glide along her thigh, until you reach her core.

Karina bites her lip, as one of your fingers touches her thong. You feel a small wet spot on it and you slowly start to move your finger across it.

The young woman shifts around, while she rests her head on your shoulder.

You aren't even inside of her, but she starts whimpering into your suit.

Moving a little faster, you hear her moaning, before she covers her mouth with her hand.

You are surprised at her sensitivity, as you slide two fingers underneath her thong. Karina's juices start to dribble out, as you slowly insert a finger.

When a deep sigh leaves her mouth, your other hand takes her shoulder again and pushes her off you a little.

Kissing her, you shut her up, just in case someone is walking by.

As soon as you stop moving your finger, you feel Karina starting to grind on it. Her moans into your mouth become faster and you use the opportunity to enter her mouth with your tongue.

While she fucks herself with your finger, your thumb starts to put pressure on her clit.

Karina almost bites off your tongue, as she clenches her teeth in pleasure. The movements of her hips become faster and you know she is already close.

Inserting a second finger into her, makes Karina close her eyes, as she feels fuller now. Her pussy keeps getting tighter and her grinding faster.

Finally, you push her over the edge, as you slightly curl your fingers inside of her.

"Oh!"

Karina's head drops back, as she cums on your fingers. She shakes on your lap and you feel some of her juices drop onto your pants.

"If you would have warned me, I would have taken my pants off beforehand."

Karina gasps, as she finally comes down from her high.

"Then lets do that now."

She reaches down, her face flushed.

"Now it's a little late, don't you think?"

After unbuckling your belt, she opens your button and the zipper.

"I don't want to ruin it even more."

She stands up, so you can let your pants fall to your ankles, as soon as you sit back down, the black haired beauty is on your lap once more.

Karina didn't give you enough time to take your boxers off, so she does it herself now. Her eager hands brushing against your member in the process.

Once she got them off too, she takes your cock into her hand.

"I want to ride you."

She looks at you with lust filled eyes.

"I'm not stopping you."

To your surprise, she waits a second, before opening her mouth. Slowly, she lets a string off her saliva fall from her tongue. It stays connected, until it reaches the hight of her chest, before it finally falls down onto your cock. Her aim is oddly precise and you feel her hand coat your cock in her spit, while another string starts its journey downwards.

When she is done, she looks at you again.

"I think you would have been wet enough."

You tease her, which makes her smile shyly again.

"I don't do this often, so I wanted to show off some of my skill."

You kiss her lips, as she keeps stroking your now dripping cock.

"My turn now."

You reply, as you raise the hem of her dress, bunching it up around her waist.

You discover, that her thong is white, as you push it to the side.

Slightly lifting her by her waist, you pull her towards you a little, until her entrance is right above your shaft.

If you would be with Ahin right now, you would've just dropped her, making her fall onto your cock. But you decide to go slower with Karina.

As your tip brushes past her lower lips, you see her bite her finger. You keep pulling her down, waiting for a signal to stop, but she doesn't say anything, until you are fully embedded inside of her.

Hearing her breathe heavily, you relish the feeling of her pussy around you.

She is definitely tighter than Ahin and wet like a waterslide.

You feel like her butt is a little smaller though, as you move your hands, ready to make her move.

When your eyes meet, you push her upwards, before you let er sink onto you again.

Karina holds onto your shoulders, as you slowly make her take your cock over and over again.

It feels like your pushing air out of her body. Everytime you enter her fully, Karina let's out a deep breath.

When her moans start to grow louder, you increase your pace. Her hands are behind your neck, holding onto you, as she feels you deep inside of her.

"Faster, please."

She sighs into your ear, while you grip her ass harder.

At one point the sound of her skin hitting yours echoes through the room. It starts to become louder than her moans, as you make her go faster. You see the muscles in her toned thighs move, as she follows your guidance.

When you let go of her butt, Karina keeps up the pace. She is too far gone to even realize that your hands aren't holding her anymore.

Her ponytail sways behind her, making you follow it with your eyes, while Karina impales herself on your cock. Over and over again.

"I'm close."

You hear her whimper. And you are surprised she was able to hold out for this long, after she came so fast earlier.

"Oh my!"

She freezes as she sits on your cock. Nothing moves, except her cunt, which is trying to milk you. You feel her pulsating around you, until she finally looks down at you.

"This was so good."

Karina smiles at you, before she starts kissing you again.

Holding onto her legs, you slowly stand up, still inside of her.

"You are even deeper now."

Her breathing becomes heavy again, as you lift her up and down.

Her hands have moved from your neck to the back of your head. She grabs your hair, as you fill her even more than before.

You kiss her again, trying to silence her moans, as you turn around. Right now, you are lifting her up and down very slowly compared to just a couple of moments ago. You feel how her pussy grips onto you tight, everytime you lift her up.

Instead of fast, you do her deep and slow. Making Karina experience something new.

You continue like this for a while, just relishing the feeling of being inside of Karina's tight snatch. Once you start to get a little closer to your orgasm, you stop caring about her, just wanting to take pleasure from her body.

Without a word you put her down and spin her around, after slipping out of her wet pussy.

Then, you push her back down, making her hold on to the small coffee table. Her ass is raised high. It looks even better now. During your repositioning her dress slipped down again, almost completely covering her butt.

You squeeze her cheeks hard, making Karina squeal in surprise, before you push inside of her again.

Your hands move to her waist, as you don't move inside of her.

"I think I heard someone. We better do this quick."

Karina looks up at you with fear in her eyes, not knowing that you are only playing with her.

She tries to hold in her moan, as you almost pull out of her. Her hands are gripping onto the table for support.

With one swift stroke you are completely inside of her once more.

"So deep!"

Despite her efforts, Karina can't prevent herself from moaning.

At first, you go slow. Relishing the feeling of being so unbelievably deep inside of her. It's like her pussy is sucking you in, everytime you thrust forward.

Karina's efforts to keep quiet are in vain. She has never felt so full. Sh has never taken someone so deep. And she realizes how good it is.

When you have finally enough of her depth, you start to fuck her faster. You keep increasing your pace with every thrust.

Karina is barely able to hold onto the table as you plow her from behind. Her knuckles turn white at how hard she is gripping the wooden surface.

Because her dress is so close to her body, she is unable to widen her legs. Making her even tighter, as you push her back further down.

You hear her moans become louder and you feel her legs shake.

Words spill out of Karina's mouth, but you are unable to catch most of them.

"Faster!"

She shouts as you hit the right spot over and over again. You feel her tiny waist in your hand and the fabric of her dress. It sparkles a little in the light. Her ponytail is hanging down on one side and you would have loved to take it into your hand. But she is too far down. Although she is standing, her head is almost resting on the table.

It makes her legs look even longer. And her ass looks like it has the perfect shape.

"Make me cum!"

You felt that she is close, even before she said something. She keeps getting wetter, something you thought was impossible.

"Please!"

Her scream echoes through the room and you are sure that it could be heard outside as well.

When Karina cums around your cock, she almost falls to the ground. You have to hold onto her tight, as her legs give out. While she orgasms, she feels like a dead weight in your arms.

You slowly let her down, her knees now on the floor, while she is bend over the coffee table.

Kneeling behind her, you start moving again, as you begin to chase your own orgasm.

"I can't."

Her breathless whisper is barely audible, as the sound of your skin hitting hers grows in volume.

You see her cheek pressed against the wooden surface and you take your opportunity to grab her ponytail.

Karina's head is lifted up by her hair, as you keep fucking her hard from behind.

You realize that you are the only thing that keeps her in this position. Without you, she would just fall off the table.

"So good."

Karina keeps moaning weakly, as you keep fucking her into the table. You see her makeup, which is all smeared from the sweat that is building on her face.

You feel her tightening around you, as she cums again. It's just a small orgasm, more like a weak aftershock. But it still makes you almost trip over the edge. The way her pussy pulsates around you. As if she is begging you to finally cum in her.

When you hear voices from outside, you remember that you haven't locked the door. Karina covers her mouth with her hand, as she hears them too.

"Hurry up. Inside."

She whispers, as she looks over her shoulder at you.

"Fill me up."

You grab her hips harder, ready to cum inside of Karina.

From the outside, you hear Ahin's voice coming closer.

With one last thrust, you stay buried inside of Karina. Your cum fills her pussy and she moans quietly into her hand.

Although the voices seem to be right in front of the door, you don't want to pull out. You don't want to leave Karina's warm and wet snatch. But you have to eventually.

Slowly retreating, you see some of your cum pour out of her pussy. Karina reaches behind her and scoops it up, while she is trying to pull her thong back up with her other hand.

You stand up and get dressed as well.

Looking towards her, you see that Karina still has some smeared makeup on and her ponytail looks a little messy, but apart from that she looks fine.

You help her up, as she is still a little weak on her knees and walk her to one of the makeup tables.

As the door opens you walk back to the couch, sitting down on it, while picking up the sushi pice that started it all.

You see two of the staff members coming in and greeting Karina, before they bow to you.

Standing up, you see Ahin's surprised look as she walks inside too.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing here?"

"I gave a Karina a ride."

You see her blushing through the mirror. It has more than one meaning for her.

Ahin looks at you and then at Karina. It seems like she is slowly figuring out what just happened.

Checking your watch, you realize that your jet will take off soon.

"I have to go now. Please continue with your work."

You walk outside and a second later, you feel someone grabbing your arm.

Looking behind you, you see Ahin. Somehow her face looks weird. She seems angry and sad at the same time.

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm sorry Ahin, but I have a flight to catch."

You give her a quick hug. When you pull back you still see that weird look on her face.

Is she jealous?

You wonder why. It's not like the two of you are in a relationship. You didn't even know her a week ago.

Her look still manages to make you feel a little guilty.

"We can talk, when I'm back in a week."

"A week?"

She looks at you disappointed.

"See you then."

You smile at her, trying to lift her mood.

"Fine. Have a safe trip."

Only then she let's go of your arm.