#so they are definitely talking about a literal bandaid

[reidrum]

the many names | s.r

a/n: i could not get the idea that spencer would have little explanations for all the names he has for you so i give you this enjoy

summary: in which the many names that spencer calls you each have a special meaning

cw: mind rotting fluff

wc: 1.1k

honey:

spencer’s childhood was anything but ordinary. graduating high school at 12, with a schizophrenic mother, and an absentee father is a combo meant to mess anyone up. the one thing he felt was constant were the sitcoms his mother would watch when she had her good days. shows like i love lucy and cheers filled his ears as he watched the picture perfect families navigate through mundane and seemingly normal scenarios. the comfort he found in these televised families, something he wasn’t afforded in his own, was a nice little bandaid on the gaping hole left by the oddities of his life.

until he met you, of course. you changed everything for him, showed him what it meant to be loved and cherished, what family really was outside of the textbook definition. as a young boy he’d always envied ricky ricardo coming home to lucy at the end of every work day, bursting through the door and saying “honey, i’m home!” the phrase itself encompassed what he so dearly longed for; a home.

so when spencer calls you honey, he means it because you’re sweet and sappy and all the things normally associated with honey. but for him, specifically, when he gets to come back from harsh cases, bursting through the door of your shared apartment yelling “honey, i’m home!”, it heals that gaping hole from his childhood little by little, replacing the wound with the home you’ve built together.

sweetheart:

for someone who absolutely loves sweet things, calling you sweetheart was an obvious title in his book. the way you cared so deeply for the people in your life, the people you didn’t know, even those involved in heinous crimes were offered some of your never ending empathy. it inspired him, to know that someone who sees the true horrors of humankind on the daily can still hold hope and love for the world’s inhabitants.

when spencer calls you sweetheart, it’s in the more domestic moments of your lives. when he asks which tea you want, when he can tell it’s been a rough day and he lets you rest in the comfort of his arms saying “it’s okay, sweetheart. i’m here now.”, when he leaves you long and loving voicemails for when you’re not able to go on cases together. spencer’s sweet tooth could probably never be satiated, but if it keeps you around forever he has no problem with that.

angel:

calling you angel is still something he finds a little ironic. he’s an agnostic atheist, has no faith in the gods or whatever power that may be. he’d always say if you couldn’t find it in a textbook then it’s not a real thing. but here you were, defying literally everything he ever knew or thought he knew. spencer thinks that if angels were personified they would surely look like you.

his job has so many moments that put him in near death situations, he’s not proud of how many times he’s felt the pearly gates come for him. but every time he was close to that end, flashes of you would roll through his mind like a movie reel and it would tether him back to this realm.

add to that, you just always happened to be there when he needed you. if he was about to drop a cup of coffee you’d be there grab it, you had his back when you were on the field together, and you’d let him talk your ear off about the most obscure topic just to see him smile.

if proof existed for the theoretical, it would be you. you were his guardian angel, and he never let you forget it.

princess:

this one was rare, only invoked in the super intimate and special moments between you both. usually in the bedroom is where you hear this one used in both sides of the extreme. on one side he says it when you’re being just so needy, so pliant and willing for whatever he wants it just makes him want to give you everything in return. on the other side, when you’re being for lack of a better word, a brat, it’s used as a tease, a taunt for your slutty bad behavior. a reminder that even though you’re spoiled by him he’s still going to give you the world.

it’s also used when you both get dressed up, for an fbi event or a party at rossi’s. it always takes the wind out of him when he sees you getting ready or you come out to show your outfit to him. it makes him feel like falling in love with you again every time, like he’s been so blessed to live a fairytale where he prevails and gets the princess at the end.

baby:

calling you baby is quite literally second nature to spencer, probably the easiest thing for him to do. it slips out all the time people might think baby is your real name. he uses it when he asks what you want for dinner, when you’re upset over something he did at work that put him in danger, when he just really wants you to watch this one russian romance film he finally got his hands on and promises you’ll love it.

you also find it really funny to play songs that you know he doesn’t know that have the word baby in it, because even if he doesn’t know the words to always be my baby to mariah carey, it never stops him from giving you the biggest smile in the universe when he listens to you belt the song to him.

pretty girl:

he didn’t even come up with this one, derek did. stemming from his nickname for spencer, when derek realized that there was something between you and pretty boy, it just became so easy to get under his skin and call you pretty girl, telling him “don’t look now, your pretty girl is coming.”. before you had started dating and spencer was just pining from afar, he would get so red in the face when derek would let the name slip.

after he finally grew some balls and asked you out, spencer adopted the name for himself to use in situations he had you alone, where he could admire you in your entirety and no other prying eyes. to use when you just wake up and the sunlight hits you perfectly like a glowing halo, or when you’re both in the office and you’re explaining something relevant to the case and you just sound so smart and beautiful, and he can’t help but truly believe that the aphrodite reincarnate is his.

[yumiis]

i’m in desperate need of reader having feelings for alastor but instead of telling him she completely distances herself (idk why but im obsessed w this concept)

I JST READ SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR TO THIS so i'll definitely be basing this piece off of this by @princekeerys !

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 away from you ; alastor x reader

　 ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

genre/type: fluff/comfort, blurb

Over the course of the several months you'd been in hell, a few things have happened. The literal Radio Demon was the one who found you when you arrived in hell, and upon seeing how scared you were, offered for you to stay at the Hazbin Hotel. You've learned a lot about Alastor, you even became one of his closest friends. Or, more so, someone whose presence he didn't hate.

Among these few months, you also happened to learn that Alastor is on the aroace spectrum. Which means, in layman's terms, he doesn't regularly feel romantic or sexual attraction. Which was terrible news for you. After learning that, you started distancing yourself from Alastor. He'll admit, it left him confused. He was actually starting to miss your company.

You took lengths like staying on the complete opposite side of the room he'd be in, not making eye contact with him, and you also stopped giving him his daily 'Good morning!'. It made him a little sad. You were going to do everything in your power to put your silly crush on the back burner, just to make him comfortable.

Eventually, a couple weeks passed, and Alastor was pretty upset that he basically hadn't seen you at all. He showed up at your bedroom door, almost knocking it down. You scrambled out of bed, opening the door. "Hi! Uhm, oh! Alastor!.." You weakly smiled, not looking him in the eyes.

He sighed, his eyes showing a bit of disappointment. "You can look me in the eyes, you know. Have I done something wrong, my dear?" He questioned, walking into your room. You shook your head, "No.."

"Then what ever is the matter? Why is it you're avoiding my every move?" He tilted his head, leaning on his staff. You groaned, might as well rip the bandaid off. "I know you don't romantically like people! I don't wanna bother you with my stupid crush on you!"

Alastor was honestly stunned for a moment, his eyes blankly staring at the top of your head. "If you're mad, you can just say that." You spoke, turning your back to him.

"Oh, sweetheart, why would I ever be mad? Your presence is quite literally the only one I enjoy in the hotel! I've grown to be a touch sad without you around, actually." He spoke honestly, putting a hand on your shoulder. "We can talk more details later, but for now, please stop distancing yourself. I miss you, sha."

[hannie-dul-set]

YOU(R SHOELACES) ARE PRETTY.

p — PARK SUNGHOON x gn! reader. g — fluff, meet cute. w — swearing, secondhand embarrassment because sunghoon doesn't know how to to talk to cute people. 706 words.

note — park sunghoon is a rizzless loser pass it on. PART TWO. if you enjoy loser! hoon, you might also enjoy this other series of mine.

you only came along with your friends to the skatepark because you had nothing better to do, but now you’re starting to regret that decision because for some reason— while you’re sitting on the stands all by yourself, minding your own damned business because you don’t know how to fucking skate— you’ve caught the attention of six to seven guys who don’t look very friendly.

what the hell? why are they staring? sweat starts to wet your palms as you duck down to untie and retie your shoelaces because their staring was really starting to make you uncomfortable. they look like a group of freaking delinquents. they’re definitely nothing but trouble.

but you regret taking your subtle glances off of them for a second too long because for some god damned reason, one of them started to roll up to you.

you feign ignorance, playing with the laces on your other foot because maybe he isn’t skating to your direction. maybe he’s going to make a turn to the ramps or some shit. maybe he’s just passing by and— of fuck, he’s literally three feet away from you now, and he’s got an ice cold face, and a very terrifying scowl, and he looks like he’s about to curb stomp you three feet into the ground.

he’s leering down at you with his hands in his pockets, posture leaned slightly back and confident. his thick eyebrows are slightly furrowed with a frown that’s housing a lollipop stick. he’s handsome, but he looks like he wants to fight you. he’s pretty, but he also looks like he’d call you a pretty stupid bitch. the kuromi band-aid on his cheek doesn’t make him any less intimidating. he takes out the lollipop from his with a pop!

you wince, ready to piss yourself in fear until you hear him say, “h—hey.”

his voice cracks. you look up.

“i think you’re— i think you—” you failed to notice the red staining his neck earlier, nor the sweat nervously trickling down his forehead. you should’ve known he’d be harmless from the cute bandaid decorating his cheek. all the fear you felt is melted every time he stumbles on his words, every time his cheeks grow increasingly pinker by the second, until he gives up and turns around to yell at the group he separated from to tell them to, “shut the fuck up!”

they’re cheering him on, “you can do it, sunghoon!” you’re more confused than you’ve ever been. 

the guy you assume is named sunghoon snaps his head back down to face you, brows that were once knitted in annoyance quickly scrunching into a nervous jitter and he measures up a smile that matches his confidence— faltering and falling apart. you’re starting to feel bad.

“i just...i just wanted to say that i think you’re really—”

go on, you encourage him with a nod. you can do it. maybe you shouldn’t have tried to help him, because the moment you give him an assuring smile, ten million emotions flash through his face at once— shock, fluster, panic in shades of pink, rose, and cherry— until he ultimately settles with defeat when he sinks his head down with a pair of hands covering his face, but he can’t hide the color tinting his ears.

“i think...your shoelaces are pretty.”

his voice is muffled. he looks like he wants the ground to eat him.

“thank you?”

“no problem.”

sunghoon spins around, puts the lollipop back into his mouth, and kicks the ground once before letting the momentum from the roller skates slide him back to the direction where he came from, but he’s sliding slowly and pitifully enough for you to hear the, “oh god, oh no, i’m so fucking stupid, oh no—” sputtering from his mouth in quiet grumbles and hisses as his friends continue to cheer him on from a distance.

the back of his neck is still searing red. when he reaches his friends you watch as his legs give up and he sinks into the ground with a cry of anguish.

maybe you shouldn’t have judged the poor guy too quickly. maybe he just wanted to tell you that he thinks you(r shoelaces) are pretty.

YOU(R SHOELACES) ARE PRETTY.

© hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[just-jordie-things]

K so like its night time and y/n is cuddling with megumi and yuji barges in and sees them both and is like “You’re cuddling with megumi are you guys dating?! :O” then the next day everyone is just asking you “aRe YoU rEaLlY dAtInG mEgUmI???” By the way i love your posts❤️

megumi is just so perfect for secret dating bc he would beg you to keep your relationship a secret, like, right off the bat. like before you're even official- probably before he's even confessed.

omg.

megumi coming to you in a panic and it worries you bc you don't often see him stressed and the boy looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel and you're being so sweet to him meanwhile he's grabbing you by the hands and making you swear to not speak a word of this to yuji or nobara- and definitely not gojo. poor confused you are like "ok sure but what are you talking about??" oops megumi forgot about the part where he's supposed to tell you how much he likes you and thinks that you should give him a chance at making you happy- but we all know that goes well because you're literally in love with him already adlhgkajflkgh

and for a while you're pretty good at sneaking around, because it's sort of fun actually. every secret look or note passed has your heart racing and you wouldn't have it any other way, as long as you have each other.

but after a few months the two of you get fully settled with one another and you start to slip up. with megumi pulling your chair out for you or holding the door for you but not the others, you start to get a few questioning looks. and you might have called him megs in front of the others one time- he might not forgive you for that one because now everyone calls him that to get on his nerves... oops.

it's not like either of you are trying to get caught, you both enjoy the benefits of dating in secret so much, you don't necessarily want to give that up. the others will definitely berate and interrogate you one day for keeping your relationship a secret for so long, but... it's just so nice.

"maybe we tell them when we graduate?" you hum, trying to brainstorm with your boyfriend to find the proper way to break the news.

megumi's chest rumbles under your cheek when he groans. if it were up to him, no one would ever know. surely he could have a successful relationship with you that way, right? it's been easy enough to cover it up so far, surely you could elope and build a life together in secret as well? shit, would gojo take it personally if he didn't tell him he was getting married? suddenly his mind is swarming with what a secret private wedding would look like, meanwhile you're laying against him in sielnce waiting for his response.

"megs..?" you call softly, trying to draw him out of his thoughts.

"maybe we fake our deaths. relocate. how's italy sound?"

you chuckle, tilting your head back to peer up at him.

"you're afraid of gojo, aren't you?" you hum knowingly. megumi glances down at you briefly, looking away as soon as you wiggle your eyebrows. you chuckle again.

"i'd be open to other places, too" he continues his thought.

"i think we should just rip it off like a bandaid," you ignore his getaway plan. "tell them we're together and have been all year. then if they have questions-"

"i'm not answering their questions" his voice is a mere whisper, as not to disturb the calming atmosphere you've created, but his words are final. you tap your finger against his chest a few times.

"i'll answer the questions then, you can just... stand there"

"do i even have to be there?"

"i don't think they'll believe me if you aren't" you giggle at the idea of trying to convince them that yes that stoic moody boy is actually a complete romantic towards you and you never thought a love like yours could be possible.

"are you saying our friends don't think i'm boyfriend material?" he asks, and you know he's baiting you, but you're honest with him anyways.

"that's exactly what i'm saying," you say, grinning up at him despite the scowl of fake hurt on his face. "but i know otherwise"

"fine. we'll tell them. and then you can answer the questions. and i'll... be there. for emotional support"

you giggle some more, tucking yourself further against him while he stares at the ceiling in despair. he already knows all of the questions your friends are going to ask and he can't help but dread them in advance. still, it will be nothing compared to the interrogation he'll surely receive from his guardian, later, when you aren't around to protect him (and his dignity)

"it'll be nice to be able to just say we're going on a date instead of you faking to be sick and me pretending i'm on an assignment. sneaking around was fun and all but..." you trail off, and megumi averts his gaze from the plain ceiling, peeking down at you where you nuzzle into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt. he knows you're going to fall asleep on him, because you always do, but he doesn't mind. even if it makes his arm fall asleep. "i don't want to hide how much i love you anymore"

and then his escape plan sounds silly when you put it like that. so he hugs you tighter against him as you start to drift off- he can tell as your head feels a little heavier against his collar- and he brushes his lips over the crown of your head.

"i love you too, sweetheart," he murmurs. "we'll tell them as soon as you want"

he just wasn't expecting the moment to be ruined by his door slamming open and your friends inviting themselves in, only to be shocked at the scene they interrupted.

queue the noisy accusations and questions. megumi tries not to say i told you so as you tiredly sit up and rub your eyes so you can answer all of your friends' curiosities, while he pulls the blanket over his head and tries to pretend he wasn't there.

of course he doesn't want to hide that he loves you... but for fucks' sake do they have to do this here and now????

[zoolitsky-fandom]

MORE HEADCANONS BECAUSE I’M ALL POWERFUL

Please don’t get upset if you disagree with any of these!! This is just how I see the characters ^^ More context about the headcanons under the cut!

Nami

Transfem lesbian!!

Basically married to Vivi (who isn’t pictured but she gives me demigirl bisexual energy with a preference to girls)

CHUBBY BECAUSE I SAY SO!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

And she’s still beautiful and wonderful and Sanji still simps for her. Chubby people are gorgeous

She’s technically pale but tanned a bit from being outside so much

Aaand bandaid because she’s literally just a normal girl and is susceptible to minor injuries unlike the other weird built different ppl on the crew (aside from Usopp)

sPEAKING OF USOPP!!! She’s absolute besties with him like they talk about everything and anything and gossip and all that jazz. They’re so special to me.

I’m not sure if bipolar fits entirely, but there’s definitely something with her mood swings and the intensity of her emotions. If this is insensitive at all please inform me

Chopper

Agender aroace reindeer fella??? SiGN ME UP

Both male and female reindeers have antlers so I used that to my advantage because gender silly

I think Chopper uses they/he/it, but slightly prefers to be referred to by their name rather than pronouns

Chopper has attachment issues, but I couldn’t find anything other than avoidant attachment disorder (which doesn’t seem entirely fitting). But it definitely gets very attached to others when it trusts them and has a hard time moving on.

Also I just like to draw Chopper more reindeer-like than Chopper’s canon design but aside from that I don’t really make too many design changes? Just… floofy Chopper… 🩷🩷🩷

Usopp

Panromantic asexual!!

Down bad for Sanji (he has terrible taste /j)

I had a revelation after drawing this so Usopp isn’t actually cis lol- they’re a demiboy but in a genderfluid kind of way, some days he feels more masculine and other days they feel more androgynous

I have very mixed feelings about the hair highlights,, I lowkey might not keep them but it was an experiment

FRECKLES!!! USOPP HAS FRECKLES PASS IT ON PASS IT ON!!!! 💛💛💛 Bandaid like Nami because!! They’re literally just a normal teenager!!!

Usopp has anxiety and borderline personality disorder because the feelings of superiority and inferiority? The constant fear? Being immune to Perona’s ghosts from dealing with mental illness their entire life???

Luffy

Asexual grayromantic

If he had a partner it would be gay regardless of his own gender expression (I’m projecting because I feel gay when I’m attracted to anyone)

Genderfluid, some days they prefer different pronouns but most of the time they use all at once (also is this ironic bc Luffy can’t swim but is swimming in fluid pronouns)

King of the pronouns!!! King of the genders!!! Will steal your pronouns and gender!!! Watch out!!!

I gave her vitiligo on a whim to be 100% honest, but I feel like it’s very fitting and also very fun to draw ❤️❤️❤️

I only did a headshot here because I have another post with a bunch of other drawings of this Luffy

I feel like I don’t need to explain but Luffy is very very AuDHD to me

He has so much energy and is easily distracted and gets really focused on things and likes to talk about anything and everything

Sanji

Bisexual-est guy on the planet (loves all boobs /hj)

Down bad for Usopp (they have great taste)

Demiboy but in an interchangeable kinda bigender way, he’s just both enby and male at the same time

Darker roots!! Sanji’s body hair is always notably darker than his blonde hair so I decided on darker roots

CURLY/WAVY FLUFFY HAIR SANJI SUPREMACY 💙💙💙

Depression—WHICH THEY ALL OBVIOUSLY HAVE BUT

Depression in the sense it’s the reason he smokes. It’s a kind of coping mechanism.

It makes them dazed enough that they don’t have to fully feel their own despair

GIVE HIM HEALTH PROBLEMS ODA YOU COWARD. I KNOW HE’S UNREASONABLY BUILT DIFFERENT BUT LIKE

Imagine Sanji wheezing and struggling to breathe after a fight!! Emotional scene with Chopper trying to convince them to stop smoking!!

Robin

Pansexual

Married to Franky 💜💜💜

Intersex demigirl! Like- the whole being called a monster/demon her whole life and trying to find someone who accepts her is such a good (unintentional) metaphor for the gender discovery experience,,

GIVE ROBIN THEIR MELANIN BACK!!! I don’t care if it wasn’t their original colors… neither were the blue eyes but I’m giving both to them because they deserve it!!

I wanted to give Robin more of a curly hair texture but I was concerned it would start to not really resemble her. I might play around with it another time though and see if I can achieve something still recognizable

PTSD

Do I even have to explain that-

They are traumatized and get flashbacks and night terrors

Franky

Bisexual

Married to Robin 🩵🩵🩵

TRANSMASC. I AM THE BIGGEST BELIEVER OF TRANS FRANKY.

He was abandoned by his birth parents, he has a name he doesn’t use anymore, calls everyone bro regardless of gender, HE LITERALLY REBUILT HIS ENTIRE BODY-

Even though Franky’s a cyborg I gave him visible top surgery scars. I think he would show them off with pride and doesn’t necessarily need/want to be seen as a cis man. He’s just a man who once had boobs yk?

The underside of his hair is an even brighter blue because silly!!

ADHD—he hyperfixates like a madman and is also very loud and passionate. Also idk if this is an actual ADHD thing but like he’s super empathetic and cries easily? I’m like that too so idk lol

Zoro

Demihomoromantic asexual

Hopelessly, dare I say pathetically, in love with Luffy. I want to clarify that this doesn’t make Zoro less gay and this doesn’t make Luffy less genderfluid.

Also as much as I adore trans Zoro, I think the fact that he’s a cisgender feminist is important. So I headcanon him as cis.

FLUFFY HAIR ZORO FLUFFY HAIR ZORO FLUFFY HAIR ZORO 💚💚💚

I can’t decide whether or not I like the striped hair,, I’m still on the fence about it lol

Covered in scars because he’s done so much training and fighting, I know they kind of look like something else but they aren’t, don’t worry

Idk why but I always give him a dark green undershirt

Autistic!! He has a narrow range of emotions, makes nonverbal grunts, super into swords, he’s blunt, follows routine, etc.

Aaaand that’s all of them! Phew! Thank you so much for reading 💖

Reblogs, asks, and comments are super appreciated!!

[deadcrowcalling]

DPS headcanons

charlie can't bake for shit, like he literally can't even make a box cake. he always screws something up

on the other hand, pitts is an amazing baker. the dude will make a whole damn cake from scratch like it was no big deal

anderperry = adhd and autism duo. you pick who is who

cameron is a history buff. i saw something saying he'd love top gun and i totally agree. that kid is a NERD

todd's a cat person

neil likes both. whatever makes todd happy makes him happy

charlie's a lightweight, unlike todd who (as we know) can down whiskey like nothing

considering DPS is set in 1959, meeks and pitts definitely were marvel and/or dc comics nerds. maybe one liked marvel and one liked dc, and they constantly fought about which was better. or they both like one franchise and trash talked the other

the rooftop radio dance party was totally not meeks and pitts' only dance party. they've had many

all the poets have at least been to charlie's huge house once and done stupid shit in his pool. somebody definitely belly-flopped off the diving board, really regretted it, and now it's an inside joke between all of them (probably be Knox or Pitts, if i'm honest.)

meeks likes plants. he's totally got a few small plants in his and pitts's dorm. totally has a tiny succulent named after some superhero (modern!au he'd so name it something dumb like megatron)

if transformers had come out when the poets were kids, pitts so would've been a transformers kid

charlie totally has converse (specifically red ones) and draws on the rubber parts (this is inspired from a comment on my post where i drew on my vans)

in relation to the last one, he's totally written carpe diem on the shoes. and a lighting bolt

modern!au knox would play fortnight 24/7 and never shut up about it

modern!au todd and neil have a shared farm on stardew valley. and a minecraft house

scratch that, all the poets have a minecraft server they all play on. charlie's house looks like ass while todd and meeks have a library that looks better than most modern architecture

growing up, meeks would sit in the library for hours skimming through the encyclopedias until he found anything that caught his eye. he'd be there form when the library opened to until it closed. the librarian eventually caught on to his schedule and started bringing him little sandwiches and chips and a juice, and always brought him something in the morning, like a granola bar.

maybe that's how pitts and meeks met. pitts was looking for cool like sci-fi novels and saw meeks sitting all by himself with a giant pile of encyclopedias next to him. pitts picked out a cool book and sat by him, the two never saying a word. this continued for a few weeks until one of the two worked up the courage to introduce themself. they became fast friends.

cameron over prepares. always has bandaids on him. mostly because charlie's constantly getting hurt

anyways, i could ramble for days! lmk if you like stuff like this and i can post some more headcanons and stuff

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bad Buddy x ATOTS aka Damn You WMT

Dear @waitmyturtles, fuck you, respectfully wen-kexing-apologist. Turts, I have shit to do, I do not have time for this. But once again I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO, FUCK ME I GUESS WE’RE DOING A FOREST EPISODE. 

More specifically, we are doing an Our Skyy 2, Episode 15 Part 1/4 post, probably far earlier than I should be, and definitely instead of doing work I absolutely need to be doing. But Pat and Phupa’s interactions in this part of the episode have me thinking about Phupa and his relationship to queerness. 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I had a marvelous time watching Part 1 of our latest Bad Buddy x ATOTS crossover episode. Why? Because it is absolutely incredibly fun to watch Pat personally terrorize the local gay elder. 

What I have really been enjoying in these crossover episodes is watching the ways the similarities and differences in Phupa, Pat, Pran, and Tian play out. Each person spends most of the time paired with the character who play the same role in the relationship but whose personalities and approaches to their relationships are very different. Phupa is the support in his relationship with Tian, Pat is the support in his relationship with Pran, but Phupa never bends and Pat always gives in. 

The thing I love about Pat is that he is unabashed in his queerness, he rolls up on to the scene and starts flirting the second he opens his mouth, and then he 

Literally

Never

Stops

He annoys Pran, he tests the structural integrity of the house with Pran, sure, but he also wakes up next to Phupa and then proceeds to never let Phupa forget that a) he would and b) that they thought they might have. 

He rolls up on the scene as Phupa and his coworker are getting ready to head into the forest, and he starts talking openly and loudly about Phupa’s boyfriend, and the relationship problems they are having. 

Phupa is less than amused.

Phupa does not want Pat coming with him, Pat sneaks into the back of the truck, Phupa begrudgingly allows Pat to come with him and Pat says “you’re the cutest”

Phupa is less than amused. 

I’m gonna skip ahead a little bit and then regress if that is okay with everyone, after Phupa puts bandaid’s on Pat says yet again “what a cute print, Chief”, “you have a cute side, Chief” 

“No wonder teacher is head over heels for you,” 

Here Pat is, one half of the first queer couple to interact with Phupa and Tian in god knows how long or possibly ever, talking casually, happily, loudly, and openly about Phupa’s relationship with Tian and Tian’s feelings for Phupa. Reaffirming to Phupa in a way that it is obvious that Tian is in love with him.  

And still Phupa is not having it. 

As they continue their walk, Pat starts smelling the trees and Phupa is like oh jesus fucking christ what the hell are you doing you are making my life a living hell- “What are you doing?” 

And in response, Pat is very open and sappy about Pran. 

gif from @liyazaki

“Pran smells so good, if he is nearby, I can find him,” and Phupa is flabbergasted. He just stands there for a second, looking Pat up and down like “okay, seriously…what the fuck?” and he is so obvious about it in the way he looks at Pat and in the way he walks away, that Pat is able to tell immediately that Phupa is, once again, not vibing with Pat’s casual references to his queerness, or overt and honest love and admission of intimacy with his partner. Pat knows Pran’s scent so well that he is confident he could pick it up in the middle of the forest. That suggests a level of familiarity with a body that would traditionally be considered uncouth, if you were polite, and doubly so if you are queer. 

gif from @liyazaki

When Phupa starts walking like he’s over the conversation, Pat’s easy smile shifts to confusion “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body before?” 

(Translation: Aren’t you also so in love with your partner, and aren’t you so intimate with your partner that you could recognize his scent anywhere you went? Looking at you watermelon soap sponsorship…looking at you tea bag smell pouch…)

And it’s the inclusion of the word body that really strikes me here, because to say “what? Haven’t you smelled Teacher before?” evokes a different relationship than “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body?” does. 

“That’s too bad” Pat says, and leans suggestively close to Phupa. Like a cat toying with a mouse. Pat likes needling at Phupa’s discomfort around explicit references to Pat and Pran’s sex life. And while we know Phupa has most certainly smelled Tian’s body before, Phupa SPINS around, has this brief moment of absolute wide eye about being so blatantly asked a question that alludes to his physical relationship to and with Tian, looks Pat dead in the eye and says “I’m not a pervert like you,”

gif from @liyazaki

Harsh words. Incredibly harsh words, especially because of the connotations of queerness with perversion, especially because iirc from the KinnPorsche LGBTQ+ Facts special on IQIYI, pervert is often an insult used in Thailand for queer people. Phupa is uncomfortable with Pat’s open conversation about his queer relationship, about his queer intimacy and he chooses to meet Pat with homophobia in the way of a slur. 

But Pat is having fun, and I honestly believe he expects that kind of reaction. Pat and Pran were awkward witnesses to Tian and Phupa’s little domestic about watching him shower and looking lovingly into their eyes, but Phupa is stiff the whole time, he is aware that he is engaging in that conversation while other people are present, and he can’t take it and he literally flees. And some of that is because he is getting riled up about their fight, but we see in part 2 of this episode that when Phupa is actually angry with Tian about something, he has no problem standing up and planting his feet to confront Tian about it. 

Anyway, Pat is having fun, and Pat wants to test Phupa and so, completely unphased he starts talking about how Tian smells, as if he is familiar. He is like "my boyfriend smells soooo good, do you smell your boyfriend's body? Your boyfriend smells good" and it’s a direct display of Pat's comfortability with his partner, their closeness, and their level of intimacy. 

“Teacher Tian smells so good” Pat says with the world’s widest grin 

“How do you know that?” Phupa asks almost challenging

“I thought you said you’d never smelled him” 

gif from @liyazaki

Caught ya. Phupa has indirectly admitted to intimacy. Pat has successfully engaged Phupa in a conversation that is completely about Phupa’s queerness. 

And as Part 2 goes on, we are made more and more aware of how little outward public affection Phupa and Tian engage in. If Phupa and Tian touch around other people, there has to be a legitimate reason to do so (Tian fainted, Tian fainted again, Tian fainted a third time, Tian is drunk, Phupa is drunk, etc.). In this episode, Tian is weak and almost collapses in to Phupa’s arms because he exerted himself too much with his heart. Phupa’s hand is on Tian’s back and then Tian is away from him and standing upright, and when Phupa, Tian, Pat, and Pran exit the forest and enter the clearing of the safe house. 

Pat is using Pran as a crutch, and Phupa and Tian have placed a child in between them. They are not touching, they aren’t even standing all that close to each other. Phupa is in ranger mode, sure, but he’s not really in front of people he has to impress, he doesn’t have to be completely professional and on guard when they are in the shack together. Especially when his partner with a body that is currently trying to reject his heart, is sitting there looking on the verge of a heart attack. 

Phupa is making direct eye contact with Tian here, he is worried about Tian here, his focus is on Tian here, and yet he does not offer any physical comfort. No reassuring touch, no forehead kiss, hell, not even a hand on the back of his head to check for fever. He’s focused on getting the radio working, which is incredibly important in case there is a medical emergency, but he does not spare a second to physically ground him and Tian. He can only look from a distance. Because there are other people around, there is a child around. Phupa can’t be seen engaging in homosexual softness, Phupa has to be seen as a forest ranger, doing his job, his actual job that involves rescuing his stubborn dumbass boyfriend from yet again getting lost in the forest, but does not involve him being in love. 

Again, Phupa truly has no one here he needs to impress, he’s in a room with a child, his boyfriend, and a couple of nuisances that have shown him absolutely zero respect since the moment they waltzed in to his neck of the woods. 

At dinner even, after things have settled down, Phupa still cannot bring himself close to Tian in front of prying eyes. 

Pat and Pran? Literally sitting side by side, knees touching. They are as close to each other as they possibly can be without literally sitting in each other’s laps. 

Here is a close up of Pat and Pran literally making physical contact with each other at the knee and at the elbow. 

And what Phupa and Tian do not know, is that Pat and Pran can't be outwardly and openly affectionate to one another in public when they are at school and so they make up for it by being disgusting when they aren't in school. Pat and Pran have to keep up a pretense, and its a tragic undertone to their ability to diffuse the brewing Tian and Phupa fight by looking at each other, nodding, and then improvising a fight realistic enough to get Phupa and Tian to pull them apart. 

Because Pat and Pran’s relationship at home is a metaphor for external homophobia, because they are so used to it by now, the having to hide, to pretend they don’t like each other, to pretend they are mad, to pretend they aren’t in love, that they can just ease right in to staged fights at the drop of a fucking hat. But even in their fake fight they wind up pressed up against each other. 

(hehe, screen shot funny, look at Phupa, he zoomin’)

Because for so long the only way they could have physical contact in public was by fighting, was by beating each other up, was by pushing or pulling each other away from a fight. Pat and Pran understand that Tian and Phupa are having a fight that they also once had, but they can also see the parts underneath it, the parts that make Phupa ask why the emphasis on him in Tian’s story is about Phupa being in love with Tian rather than his work. 

Pat is simultaneously taking the opportunity of being hours and hours away from home, from where he has to hide his relationship, to be as openly and obviously in love with Pran as he has always been and is telling Phupa he is safe to be gay around. That he and Pran are safe people to be gay around, are safe people for him to be openly affectionate with his boyfriend around. 

And that stems from the parts of Pat and Phupa that are wildly different. 

Like, it is very very notable that Pat confesses his feelings for Pran practically as soon as he realizes that he has feelings for him and initiates the rooftop kiss which they share before they are even together, and then they have a bunch of little kisses, and they sneak as many touches as they can, and they make out multiple times in the show 

And Phupa and Tian have…a single forehead kiss and then one kiss, at the top of a mountain, where no one would ever be able to see them after their story is complete. 

In last week’s crossover episode, the level of intimacy that Phupa engages in with Tian is called out, even by Aof himself with the roleplaying scene between Pat and Pran where they pretend to be Phupa and Tian putting up a mosquito net and conclude that they absolutely must have kissed then. 

But we know they didn’t. We know how painstakingly long it takes for Phupa and Tian to reach that level of intimacy with one another. 

I'm even thinking backstory-wise, what is forest ranger training like? Is it part of the military? Did Phupa's gay ass have to enlist in a presumably male dominated field and like, go to training, and be around a bunch of guys, and make sure they didn't suspect he was gay?

I’m thinking about the moments in last week’s episode where it seemed like things were going better between Phupa and Tian, and it was always when Phupa was physically affectionate with Tian, putting his arm around him and not letting him go, when they were at karaoke, and when they were drunkenly stumbling home together, again locked in eachother’s embrace, where anyone could see them. 

To regress as I promised back to the leech scene I am struck by what the approach to removing the leeches says about Pat and Phupa respectively. 

Pat rips the leech off of him and Phupa takes time to put a lighter to them and pluck them off in a way that does not hurt Pat

Pat rips the leech off and bleeding for it, hurting himself in the process, because he is impulsive and impatient, Pat bleeds emotion, he's practically incapable of hiding what he's feeling, and he must obey his emotions before all else. Therefore, in Bad Buddy Episode 5, when he realizes he has feelings for Pran, Pat immediately has to talk to Pran about his feelings, immediately leans in to the emotion he is feeling in the present moment, and initiates a kiss. A kiss that leaves him feeling blissful, and that leaves him hurt because Pran walks away, because Pran has known forever how much he likes Pat, because Pat has only just figured out his feelings, he hasn’t had to sit with them for long, and yet that kiss is an equally strong release for both of them. When Phupa removes the leech from Pat’s leg he is methodical and patient, he tries to minimize the wound, it takes longer but it has the same result which is why it takes so damn long for him and Tian to get together. When I watches ATOTS and they touched pinkies under that blanket and I went "ah yes! This is the part where you start making out and fucking cause they are adults who have maybe been in a relationship before and who have both been obviously painfully aware of their feelings for eachother since the moment they laid eye on each other"...and then they don’t. Phupa waits, and waits, and waits. 

I think the fundamental thing that I see replaying in this episode especially, and with Pat and Phupa’s interactions especially is the elder versus younger queer mentality we got in Moonlight Chicken, with very different characters from Jim and Li Ming, but following a similar pattern of restraint and time versus just jumping right in. 

And it’s also why I think the conversation between Pran and Phupa is so important:

gifs by @nanons

Pat and Pran’s need to keep their relationship secret because of their family’s, and because of Pran’s mom specifically is a metaphor for external homophobia. Pat and Pran are extremely comfortable in their sexuality, very open in their love for one another when they are amongst other queer people, or amongst allies, when they are away from their hometown or when they are in the privacy of their homes. 

There are a lot of different pieces in play around Phupa and Tian’s relationship, but there is ultimately a metaphor at the most or a blatant sense at the least of internal homophobia on the part of Phupa. 

Pat has chosen to stay “in the closet” in order to be with Pran. In a convo with @shortpplfedup about this, Nini said it the most accurate and heart wrenching line: “It's honestly that Pran can't really ever compare to Pat's sacrifice here, and he KNOWS it,” 

Similarly, Phupa believes that Tian has made a sacrifice to be with him, and he knows it. Which is why he can’t bring himself to go to Tian’s birthday, because Tian has left before, because he is scared every time Tian goes that he will realize that Phupa isn’t enough. Because Phupa is afraid of being seen as Tian’s partner. Because Phupa is really only capable of being physically affectionate behind closed doors. When they are completely alone.  Cause even in the camp, when the child is sleeping and Pat and Pran are off literally fucking in the tent minding their own goddamn business, Phupa cannot bring himself to touch Tian.

They’re sharing place but not space, or whatever it was that Ayan said to Akk in their Our Skyy 2 episodes. When Phupa gives Tian his medicine, at most their fingers brush, they don’t sit down together, they don’t ground themselves with touch. They share this place, but they do not encroach on each other’s personal space…

…until Phupa falls asleep

gif by @earthpirapat

At which point Tian gets up, and places his blanket on him, and physical touches his arm, his shoulder, etc. as he is adjusting the blanket for him. 

Tian initiates the touch, Tian stayed in the village with him, Tian is sacrificing his health to be here with Phupa. Phupa has spent 90% of his time alone with the bouncing ball of sunshine that is Pat, and 5% of his time with the chaotic homosexual energy of Pat and Pran together, and to be real, as much as we know about Pat and Pran’s relationship, and as much depth as we are able to pull from these specific characters interacting in the way they do, Phupa has no idea what Pat and Pran have been through to be where they are. 

To anyone who does not know Pat and Pran’s story, they seem like nothing more than two horny young adults in love, who feel no need to hide themselves and their queerness away, that have never had a struggle in their life, and do not understand the trials and tribulations of navigating an older queer relationship, who will last the length of a honeymoon period and then disappear at the first sign of real conflict. Thus, I think Phupa grossly underestimates the company he is currently keeping.

So I think, personally, Phupa is kinda of struck by the sudden and unexpected depth that comes from Pran. That Pran is able to identify and then absolutely hone in and strike at the exact things that Phupa is struggling with. As much as Pat has both relished in the freedom he has to be disgustingly in love with his boyfriend in the woods, and as much as Pat has tried to make himself an obviously safe person to be openly gay around, Phupa is incapable of understanding what he can learn from Pat and Pran’s relationship until he realizes these boys have a lot more in common with him than he thought, and that their relationship and their relationship to one another is more complex and therefore more similar to him and Tian’s situation than he would like. 

Pran and Phupa carry the weight of feeling like nothing they do will ever compare to the sacrifices their partner has made to be with them. I didn’t get much in to Pat and Tian here, but their interaction makes it clear that they both carry the weight of feeling like their partner does not need them. 

Phupa has literally saved Tian’s life on numerous occasions, Tian is chronically ill, Tian has limitations. Phupa is a forest ranger, who is a foundation in his community, who is skilled and competent, and fiercely independent. Pat is disorganized, and impulsive, his father is the reason he and Pran can’t be open about their relationship, he is the reason Pran got sent away. 

We get a fun reversal with dynamics in these Bad Buddy x ATOTS episodes because Tian and Phupa are older, but Pat and Pran have an entire lifetime of navigating and overcoming conflict under their belt. Pat and Pran have already weathered the storm of the fight that Tian and Phupa are having. They have already settled in to who they are, but Pat and Pran (Pran especially) are able to see the ways that always giving in and never backing down wears on a person. Pran learns from seeing the pain that Tian is in that being uncompromising might cause fractures in their relationship in the future. 

Tian and Phupa (Phupa especially) are learning how to resolve their conflicts. Pran, who is holding on to Tian and Phupa’s story so tightly because it is shared, because it is open, because anyone who wants to can know about it, pushes Phupa, who cannot cope with being portrayed as being in love with Tian, to read all of the diary Tian published online. Pran pushes Phupa to push through the emotional blocks, to push past his initial concerns, and to assume Tian wrote and published this story with both an understanding of who is partner is and what Phupa is comfortable with, and with no intention of hurting anybody. 

Anyway, all of this to say, that this episode has really made me analyze Phupa with an internalized homophobia lens, and though one can never trust a P’Aof trailer, it has left me with two impressions. 

On the subject of Phupa and internalized homophobia, and needing to move past that (and more) in order for his relationship with Tian to survive this fight, @shortpplfedup said it best: 

“Now I'm thinking about one moment from the preview (but just a moment!) where Phupha tells Tian he's not gonna sneak to look at him, he's gonna OPENLY look at him”

And cause it seems like Phupa learned some things from the Bothersome Boys:

--

Case in point:

Here's multiple hours of my life I will never get back, at least I had fun! Time to go do the work I was supposed to be doing tonight :p

That's all folks!

[vampdes]

— “MISSIN’ THE PARTY.” [being a jock meant you were absolutely obligated to throw ragers at least once a week. but what happens when ethan just can’t get enough of you? you give him what he wants, of course!]

GENRE. smut.

PAIRING. ethan landry x m!reader.

CW. lowercase implied, cheating implied, jock!reader ( briefly mentioned / implied ), nervous!ethan, big dick!ethan, a lot of sexual fantasies ( ethan ), oral implied ( reader receiving ), top!ethan / bottom!reader.

NOTES. this coulda been better, ima be real, ive js been waitin to post this tho so ima js rip the bandaid off. enjoy! ⭐ ( @asukases )

it started simple, easy. he’d tutor you, congratulate you when you had gotten a problem right and easily correct you when you’d gotten a problem wrong.

obviously, you’d be rightfully confused and frustrated when he’d laugh at ‘how much of a book-like jock’ you are. nevertheless, the sessions went on and on and on. you learned more about him as time went on, as he did about you. well, he learned more about you because you’re rather talkative. you told him about the football team, even provided him with the practice schedule, you told him about your girlfriend, the head cheerleader for the football team, and about how difficult it was getting. you’d mainly tell him about her because you just couldn’t understand her.

“i don’t get it. like, i’m hot, i’m strong, i’m the literal definition of “everything a girl could ever need”, you know? all i want, every once in a while, mind you, is a little action, that’s it. even a quickie would work, for fucks sake!”, you wailed about your numerous ‘issues’ with your girlfriend as the two of you sat on the bleachers, watching as your captain directed the younger members of the team for being ‘incompetent players’.

you groaned in annoyance before returning to the main point of your conversation, “but, no. she still has to have so many excuses, like all i want is some fuckin’ sex. like bro, you don’t know how hard it’s been. it’s been seven months! seven! i can’t even sleep with any of the girls in the sorority down the road because they say it’s against their rules. eugh, i just don’t understand it.”. ethan’s eyebrows rose and his lips formed a small, slight grin numerous times during your very one-sided conversation regarding your relationship.

“no ‘cause, if i were a girl, i’d fuck me! mad sex too. i’d even fuck ..” you paused, biting the inside of your cheek as you thought of someone to consider fucking hypothetically, “.. you.” you smiled at ethan, letting out a loud laugh after you had watched his face morph into a flustered one. “i mean, hell, you’re .. somewhat fit, so why not, right?”.

ethan’s tongue slid over his lower, rose pink lip at the thought of fucking you as though you were a girl. the idea of getting you riled up, whimpering, moaning and begging for more of him was nothing but a feverish dream. his fingers stretching you, thrusting inside of you, touching the most sensational parts of you that you never dared to touch yourself. you’d be demanded to thrust on his fingers, to prep yourself on your own in order to fit all of him inside of you, and you’d hesitantly do so. your hips would start slow as though you were scared of how good you’d feel, but then, the feeling of you being able to have such a power over ethan would make you cave in. you’d become an animal and rut on his fingers as your teeth bit into the pillow beneath you. you never, ever knew you could feel so good.

“.. ethan? bro? practice is over, dude. we gotta get back to the dorm and get ready for the rager tonight.”

for fucks sake, you never knew how to shut up. it annoyed him so fucking much, just shut up for once, will you? if he had the chance, just a slight, slight chance, he’d put you in the place where you belonged: quivering beneath him with your wrists bound and cock sore.

but, “alright, lets go!” was all he could respond with. he didn’t want to lose his golden boy by scaring him off with his wild, erotic fantasies that only amplified when you’d strip in front of him, forcing him to shove a pillow on top of his already tight jeans.

by the time the two of you had made it to the dorm the two of you shared, it was well past party-time and you’d have to rush in order to get ready. ethan, on the other hand, wasn’t too keen on the idea of becoming so drunk to the point where he couldn’t even stand on his own ( aka what you did after he had to bring you back to campus after the last frat party you hosted ).

unfortunately, for him, the ideals from earlier were still playing like a movie inside of his mind. he couldn’t recall how many things he wanted to do to you, to do with you. oh god, fucking hell. you just didn’t know how hard you made him, how much you made him ache in the middle of the nights and in the dawn of the mornings. you made him whine, squeal, cry for more of you. more of you touch, of your taste, of your sound. more of you to cover with cum. more of you to mark with his numerous substances. fuck, please stop teasing him. he won’t be able to control himself, not tonight. especially not after the show you’re giving him at the moment.

that’s when you came out of your walk-in wardrobe and asked him what he thought of your shirt. you wore nothing but a slim, almost see through pair of boxers and a tight fitting shirt that rose over your belly button and squeezed around your chest. the fabric was so tight that it rubbed against your nipples every time you moved. “mm.. on second thought, nevermind. it’s rubbin’ me in all the wrong places, fuck, don’t think i can take it off by myself though. could you help me?”.

his eyes flitted away from your thighs and instead to your torso that was obviously visible through the shirt. wait—wait, you wanted help with taking off your shirt? the shirt that made you look so, so fucking good? obviously he had to oblige!

“c’mere, i’ll get it off for you.” he’ll do more than get it off of you. he’ll gladly get off on you.

you stood in front of him, obliging to his “eyes closed” request. “jus’ do it quickly, the party’s going to end soon.”. you felt the sharp tips of his fingernails scrap across your waist before he started to scale upwards, loving the feeling of the sides of your torso to your plump chest and perky nipples. “ethan! you’re ‘posed to be taking the shirt off!” you whined, “i wanna be in time for the party, c’mon!”.

ethan laughed, “fine, fine. just teasing you, love, just teasing.” he let out a huff of air as he gripped the ends of the said tight fitting t-shirt and started to tug at it. “what’re you doing? jus’ take it off!” you were starting to complain, so he did as you said, he ripped it. the thin seams tore easily, straight down the middle which produced the new idea for his next fantasy.

“oh well, that’s one way to get it off of me, i guess.”

before you could pull away to discard the now loosely fitting shirt, ethan hooked his arms around your waist and looked up at you with his perfected “puppy eyed” look. you placed your hand on top of his ruffled hair, sinking your fingers inside of his many curls. “what is it, hm? you want something, so jus’ tell me.”.

he squeezed you tighter, “can we do it?”.

“‘it’? you mean fucking?”.

“no, no! not—not that. i just .. want to feel you. please?”.

for fucks sake, just say yes already. he watched your face contort from an expression of confusion to shock. please, please say yes! you have to, please. he never asks for anything, he just wants to feel you! it’s a normal ask, no? you let your girlfriend do it! so why couldn’t he? your best friend since grade school, c’mon! please.

“fine, fuck. jus’—hah, jus’ don’t tell her about this, alright?”.

ethan became giddy as though he was celebrating his birthday twice a year, a smile adorning his features. he stood, intertwining your hands with his own before instructing you to lay on the bed that he had just stood from. to wich you obliged whilst reminding him he only had a few minutes to complete his desired feel for you before you had to leave for the party. he mumbled a ‘fine’ before helping you discard of the torn shirt, leaving you in only a pair of socks and your—rather tight—briefs.

ethan parted your legs, feeling from the underside of your thighs to the plushness of your hips. his jeans felt entirely too tight, he wanted to fuck you like a damn animal. ruthless. with no mercy. he wanted to make you cry only to shut you up. he wanted to make you shake, to make you wither beneath him with only the feverish feeling of him fucking you keeping you steady. he lefts your hips and trailed down to the brim of your briefs. the nail of his pointer finger trailed the outline of your cock, producing a quiet whimper to leave you lips.

“no, ethan—fuck–you can’t, you know you can’t.”

ethan only smiled, “but i can, no? you know how much you want me to blow you. fuckin’ hell, you say i do it better than your girl. c’mon, just once?”.

“ .. just once, alright? then, i’m leaving, swear.”

“fine, fine,” he responded in between the soft, slow kisses he pressed against the cloth of your briefs, “i’ll be quick, promise.”.

ethan being ‘quick’ soon turned into your face stuffed into a pillow and your nails burrowing themselves into the sheets. your many pleads for him to calm down, to stop acting as though he was an animal during its rut, fell on deaf ears. it was well past the time of the party, you realized, you could’ve been drinking, doing keg stands, but no, you had to give into his request.

ethan leaned into you, pressing his chest against your back whilst biting at your neck. he whispered your name. whiny, desperate, greedy.

“ffuck, oh fuck, you’re so good f’me, fuck ..”, his hips erratically chased his fifth orgasm of the night. his desire to see his cum spill from your swollen hole was more than enough to keep his fast, desperate rhythm. “c’mon—hah,” he raised himself from his current position, snapping his hips to delve himself deeper within you. ethan grabbed at your hair, forcing you to raise your head. “say it. say you’re a good fuckin’ slut for me.”

“m’such—ah!—m’such a good fuck–mm, ffuckin’ slut f’you! i am, i am, i am. ah, hah, fuck, wait, wait—i, oh god, i can’t! too .. too much, ethan!”.

your inconsistent babbles made his head spin. fuck, can his boy get any cuter?

he laughed at the thought. his long, slender fingers ran up your back before stopping at your lower lip, “open.” he commanded. “what? wh—”, in the middle of your sentence, he pushed two of his fingers inside of your mouth. a choked gag came from you, which amused him. even though his fingers were slim, they fit inside your mouth so well. ethan’s fingers laid still on tongue, his fingernails nipped at the back of your throat. such length provided him with muffled groans and moans from you.

his cock rubbed against the spots that provided you the most pleasure, making you cry out and grovel beneath him. saliva coated his fingers, tears covered your cheeks, and cum coated the cream colored sheers beneath you. ethan’s thick, sticky tip abused your prostate repeatedly making you cry out his name in incoherent moans with dilated pupils.

“i guess it is too much for you, mm.” he mumbled, rubbing his thumb on your sticky, pre-cum stained tip, feeling at how you twitched beneath him. you clenched around him as you came, which, in turn, made him fill your velvet insides with his copious amounts of cum. “ffuck, oh—ooh god,”, he whined, biting his lower lip as he slowly pulled out of you, watching as ropes of his cum covered your stomach that was beaded with sweat. ehan’s cum not only covered your stomach but also spilling out of your gaping, swollen hole. ethan watched intently, enjoying the sight before him.

with the party mindset far behind you, you missed the touch of his prying, groping hands on your body. “what? do you want more?” he mocked, watching as you whined for his hands to be all over you once more. “fine.” he smiled, his hands up and down your plush thighs, “just .. a few more times alright?”.

© CREDITS TO ur1nonlydan. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, OR COPY MY WORKS

[catslvrr]

broken thread

pham hanni x fem!reader | one shot

Synopsis: Your whole life, you had been waiting for the red loop to appear on your ring finger. The string leads straight to your soulmate, you had heard. You weren’t really expecting your soulmate to literally cut ties on the first day of getting it. And you definitely weren’t expecting to meet her months later at your university library.

Contains: cursing

Playlist

Your favorite color had always been red — a rich and blazing red.

You learned from an early age that it was the color of love. The color of the string that would wrap around your ring finger one day, and lead you straight to your soulmate.

You spent countless days pestering your parents to retell the story of when they first received their string, the story of how they first met, the story of how they fell in love. You would watch them send teasing smiles to each other as they fought over who fell first, and see their eyes gleam with fondness as they reminisced about their younger days.

They would tuck you in bed with goodnight kisses after sharing little tidbits of their love story, and you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, comforted by the fact that you would one day find your own soulmate — someone who would love you unconditionally.

The first time you saw the red string in action, from someone other than your parents, was in the first year of high school. A girl from your class had rocked up to school one day, waving around her hand to flaunt the red loop that had appeared around her finger, the first to do so.

That was the telltale sign that she had found her soulmate: everyone could see the loop, and only she could see the string that led her to them.

(Getting the loop didn’t mean that you would immediately find your soulmate, though. You had heard from your parents that it was different for everyone. It could be mere days, or it could take weeks, months, sometimes even years after receiving the loop to meet your soulmate face to face.)

News traveled around fast. By second period, it was all everyone talked about. Students rushed to the girl during the break, eager to see it in person, as if to confirm that this concept was tangible and real.

You didn’t have to see for yourself. The look on the girl’s face was enough for you, glowing with ardor and pride. And it was not only the girl who was left eager at the prospect of a soulmate after this. This day planted a seed of hope in everyone, their own expectations and fervor beginning to grow and flourish.

It’s so nice, you had thought to yourself at the time as you absentmindedly drew a red line that looped around your whole page, that everyone is so excited for love.

And you loved love, too. How could you not, when it was in everything you saw growing up? It was in the mornings when you would wake up unusually early, and peek outside your room to see your parents conversing in hushed tones over some coffee, the sunlight just barely spilling through the curtains to tenderly greet them.

It was in the tooth-rotting sweetness of the candy your cousins would secretly buy for you without your parents’ knowledge, along with the bandaids to cover your scraped knees when you rode your bike together.

It was in the way you and your friends would bring extra servings of your snacks or lunch to share with and ‘trade’ together.

It was everywhere, a constant and certainty, there for you to give and take at your will, and that’s what you loved about love.

As years went by, more and more students burst through the school gates brandishing their red loops, and more and more couples began popping up. Valentine’s Day at school was always sweet to see — the school would decorate the hallways with red threads and balloons, and students sent heart lollipops and roses to their lovers or friends.

By the time you reached your senior years, your ring finger was still bare. Your friends and family always reassured you that your time would come, and friends who hadn’t received the loop yet would lament and rant about their anxiety. You weren’t too worried, though. Love is patient and so you figured you should be too.

It was a few weeks after graduation when you finally received your red loop. You woke up in the afternoon to the disruptive revving of a car that zoomed past your house.

(You had been waking up later these days, enjoying the last taste of freedom before the start of university.)

You stayed up late last night, suddenly feeling the motivation to perform a surgical deep clean of your room. You enjoyed doing this every few months to give yourself peace of mind. It was bittersweet to look back at your past exams and the old notes you took, reminiscing the endless hours you spent hunched over your desk.

You were about to drift back to sleep when you felt a slight itch on your ring finger, and instinctively went to scratch it. Then, you realized what that meant, and quickly sat up to investigate.

There it was, in all its glory: a red loop around your finger. The string that extended it passed through your walls. You leaned in closer to inspect it — it seemed like a real string, like what you would find on a spool. You could see the little threads that it was made of. But when you tried to touch it, it would just pass through your fingers.

You sat there for a few minutes, letting the reality sink in. You were overwhelmed with emotions, the good kind, and your cheeks started to hurt because you were smiling too hard.

You didn’t feel any different, didn’t feel suddenly whole or complete, and you didn’t expect to. You were just content that there was someone out there to share your love with. Though, there was that small sense of relief in the way your shoulders relaxed. 

(There was always a small margin of error with soulmates; you had heard of it through whispered rumors and seen it in the fine print of your research. The selfish part of you was glad that it wasn’t you.)

Your hands wouldn’t stop trembling, even when you got out of bed to brush your teeth. You couldn’t help but begin to fantasize about who your soulmate would be — what they would look like, what their personality was like, if the two of you would click straight away.

Just as you finished washing up and began to make your way to the kitchen, you winced as you felt an unexpected sharp tug on your ring finger. Your hand felt like it was burning. Cradling your wrist up towards you, you noticed what was wrong.

What was once a red string that carried your love beyond these walls, to wherever your soulmate was, was now cut short, frayed at the edges. Its color had faded, as if lifeless, now a pale pink.

Oh. Maybe you spoke too soon.

You stood there for a while, in the hallway, in denial. Hadn’t it only been a few minutes? When your mom made her way to your room to check up on you, she saw your stricken face first. Her eyebrows knitted, mouth open and about to ask what was wrong. Then, she saw the string, or a lack thereof.

She didn’t say anything, only pulling you into her arms, the arms that once engulfed you as she told you everything she knew about soulmates. You let the tears run down your face.

You never thought that love could be pain, but you were feeling it now, and you didn’t know how to make it stop. Each gasping breath after the sobs that wracked through your body should have been breaths that your soulmate would’ve taken away.

You bit your lip so as to no longer make a sound, and you were biting so hard that it bled the red you once thought meant love.

You felt empty for the next few days. There was an almost imperceptible lighter feeling to your ring finger now, and you felt bare.

The loop was still there, and the sight of it that had once brought joy, now only gave you sorrow that you would’ve never thought to associate with soulmates.

You cried until your eyes were bloodshot red, and you imagined that your tears would stain the pink loop, if it could be stained — soaked with your tears so that it darkened, and maybe it would be closer to the red you love.

It was as if the universe was mocking you. Everyone knew how much you loved the idea of soulmates, how badly you were waiting for the day to get your loop (even though you tried to hide it).

But we always want what we can’t have. And you thought that the world was cruel, for letting you just have a taste of soulmates, only for it to be ripped away from you not even an hour later.

Or perhaps you should blame your soulmate for being selfish and entitled enough to deny both of you the gift that is love. You wonder if you would actually say that to them if you ever met face to face.

(You wouldn’t. You have a feeling that you’d love them regardless.)

It was stupid, being heartbroken over someone you had never met. But you had spent so much of your life waiting and hoping, that the disappointment was stifling, like the string had wrapped itself tightly around you, leaving you no room to breathe. Maybe it was your fault for being too idealistic.

The worst part was that there would not be any closure. But perhaps this fate was better than being rejected upon the first meeting. It hurt all the same, anyway.

You kept yourself occupied as best as you could, which manifested itself into more of just holing yourself up in your room, listening to sad music and cleaning away your thoughts.

Eventually, you forced yourself out of hiding and faced the music. The pitiful looks and words of comfort from friends and family felt more burdening than anything, but you knew they meant well.

You took it day by day, learning to slowly chisel off the bitterness that had engraved itself onto you. You didn’t want to become someone your past self would’ve hated.

Romantic love may not be on the table for you anymore, but there was still plenty of love to go around. And that was what you would tell yourself to move on. You had to move on, because time doesn’t wait for anyone.

The good news was that the start of university was not too long after, which gave you something to focus on rather than the gaping hole that your would-be-soulmate left.

University was a big change, but you were never one to be unnerved by change. The hardest part was finding where all the lecture halls and rooms were on campus, but other than that, you had successfully cemented yourself into uni life among hundreds of other students.

Faster than you could process, you settled into a comfortable rhythm: taking public transport to get to uni, attending lectures and tutorials, rotting away in the library to complete your weekly exercises, going home to sleep, then doing it all over again.

At least you didn’t have classes every day.

Ignoring the relentless workload, the freedom and flexibility that university offered in comparison to high school was a breath of fresh air.

You enjoyed romanticizing the train rides to university, getting lost in the scenery passing by with your Airpods on. Grabbing a coffee early in the morning, feeling as if you were an adult now. Feeling insignificant under the towering skyscrapers that the city boasted.

It was lonely though. With a fresh set of classmates every semester, it felt harder than ever to make friends. Your high school friends had branched out to different universities, and the ones that went to the same one as you, were busy with adapting to the new lifestyle.

You still met up from time to time, of course, but it wasn’t the same as seeing each other every day in high school.

So yes, it was incredibly lonely. It didn’t help that all you could see around you was the bright red of everyone’s loop, a reminder of what you lost.

You were in your zone, catching up on a lecture via recording and making notes, when the opening of a door startled you.

You looked up to see a girl who, despite her short stature, still exuded an intimidating vibe. You took out your Airpods.

“I booked this room.”

“Oh,” you frowned. You were so sure that you booked this room. You always did, this same room, on Wednesday, every week. “I thought I booked it, but maybe there was an error with the system.”

You started to pack up, the air painstakingly awkward as the stranger stood there and watched you. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured.

You struggled under her scrutiny, fumbling over your pens and pencils as you internally berated yourself for not verifying the booking.

“You booked it?” She said after a while. (You were still packing up.) You felt small under her gaze, only nodding in response.

“Don’t worry about it then,” she mumbled, plopping herself on a chair. “We can share.”

“Oh.” Your hand that was stuffing your stationery into your backpack froze. “Are you sure?”

The stranger grunted and waved her hand dismissively. She then folded her arms on the table, leaning her forehead on it. You took that as a sign of the conversation ending.

You hesitantly sat back down and put in your Airpods again. You spent the rest of the time studying, occasionally glancing at the sleeping stranger. You were slightly concerned, more curious if anything.

It was around three hours later when she stirred back to life. You watched her out of the corner of your eye. She puffed her cheeks out as she ran her fingers through her hair, proceeding to check her phone before setting it down on the table.

She rested her chin on her folded arms, diverting her sole attention to you. You quickly averted your eyes back to your laptop screen, feeling her burning stare.

You suffered under her gaze for a few more minutes that seemed to drag itself out before you mustered up the courage to look back up.

Out of habit, you looked at her ring finger. It was something you had been meaning to stop. You wouldn’t want people staring at yours, but you couldn’t help yourself.

To your shock, her loop was also a pale pink. You hadn’t met someone else who also had a pink loop yet.

She noticed your fixated gaze. “Yeah. No soulmate for me.”

“Sorry,” you hastily said, sitting up straight. “I didn’t mean to look-”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

You bit your lip and showed her your ring finger. “No, really, I wasn’t judging. I’m the same.”

For the first time since meeting her, you seemed to pique her interest. She smiled as she leaned back, a mix of pride and dryness. You couldn’t really pinpoint it. “I cut mine. How about you?”

You wavered for a split second, but quickly shook the thought off. It’s just a coincidence. You tried to play it off. “Me too.”

“Really?” She tilted her head, still skeptical. “Why?”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. “Didn’t feel right, you know. I wasn’t ready.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “God, finally someone that gets it. Everyone’s so obsessed with soulmates, I can’t stand it.”

“I know right,” you laughed awkwardly. Your response only seemed to spur her on.

“Soulmates are such a scam. Love should be a choice. Some stupid string shouldn’t dictate who I love,” she muttered, drumming her fingers on the table.

You nodded slowly. It sounded personal to her. You had never really seen it like that, but you could understand where she was coming from.

Maybe the pain I felt from the cut string was the same pain my soulmate felt when they got the string.

You weren’t sure how to feel about this. You didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, because the stranger spoke again.

“I’m Hanni.”

You were expecting a follow-up question, but realized she was waiting for a response. You promptly introduced yourself, although quite clumsily, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“You almost done with studying?” Hanni asked, kicking her feet on the table. You were pretty sure that was against the rules, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Kind of?”

“What do you study anyway?” You kept your eyes trained on your laptop while she kept hers on you.

“Actuarial studies.”

A whistle. “Damn. You must be crazy.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely something,” you scratched your nape before continuing meekly. “How about you?”

“Nothing,” Hanni closed her eyes, arms behind her head as she teetered the chair back. This left you on edge, you were scared she would fall. “Took a gap year.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what do you do with all the time?”

“Whatever I want. Which basically means nothing.”

“Cool,” you nodded stiffly. You were about to end the conversation there, but realized,

“Wait,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “So what are you doing at a uni library?”

She cracked an eye open for a second before smirking. You found this immensely attractive. “Is it not open to the public?”

“It is,” you backtracked. “Sorry-”

Hanni suddenly stood up and stretched. “I’m just messing with you. Most of the time, I come here to take a nap. Sometimes I meet up with my friends though.”

Not giving you any time to respond, she continued. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Oh,” you said, again. That was all you could say really, you weren’t the best with strangers. “Okay.”

Hanni stuffed her phone in her pocket as she shuffled towards the door, putting on her headphones again. You flexed your wrist before continuing to write down lecture notes.

“Hey.”

Hanni hovered at the door, hand on the doorframe. “We both like booking this room. You don’t mind sharing from now on, right?”

You tapped your pen on the desk to relieve your hand of its shakiness. “Yeah. I don’t mind.”

Hanni nodded. “I’ll see you next week.”

“See you…” You mumbled, but she had already walked out. You watched her leave. That initial gut feeling started to die down.

Hanni was someone you wouldn’t necessarily consider a friend in the first few weeks of knowing her. She was consistent though, you’ll give her that, always showing up to the same library room just to sleep for a solid 3 to 4 hours every Wednesday without fail.

So the conversations between you two were minimal. Not that you minded. But there was just something pulling you toward her, maybe it was her assertive nature and the way she carried herself with confidence, the complete opposite of you, or maybe it was the fact that she was very pretty.

Despite her being asleep most of the time, there was a subtle sense of tranquility that she brought — the idea that the two of you were in the same boat; you knew she wouldn’t walk on eggshells around the topic of soulmates around you. You liked that.

(It had been months since the incident. You thought your friends and family would’ve moved on by now, hell, even you have, but the way they tread lightly around you about soulmates was like opening old wounds.

It made you feel as if you were weak. As if you were a defect. You knew this wasn’t true. There was more to life than soulmates. This is what you had to learn.)

Before you knew it, two months had passed since your first meeting. Time flies when uni completely bombards you with assignments. It was just another ordinary Wednesday when Hanni decided to strike up a conversation.

“Hey.”

Hanni flung a pencil in your direction. It had only been ten minutes since she entered the room.

(It was your pencil. You had no idea how she got a hold of it.)

You barely had time to dodge before taking out your Airpods, slightly annoyed, but mostly perplexed.

“Do you do anything other than study?”

“Obviously…”

She still seemed dubious. “What do you like? Any hobbies?”

You paused. 

“I like astronomy?” You said it as more of a question than a statement.

Hanni’s eyebrows furrowed. “Like signs and shit?”

“No,” you laughed softly. “That’s astrology. I mean, you know, space and all that.”

Hanni didn’t reply. You hoped that it was because of indifference, rather than judgment. You didn’t know why you cared anyway. You continued on with your work.

She spoke again a few minutes later. “What do you listen to?”

You took out your Airpods again. Usually, this would be irritating, but these seemingly trivial conversations and small talk somehow wormed their way up to be the highlight of your week.

“Um…” You trailed off. “How am I meant to show you?”

Hanni hummed in thought for a moment. “Do you use Spotify?”

You nodded. She grabbed your phone, pushed it in your face so it would unlock, and started tapping and doing who knows what. You just sat there, appalled by her brazenness.

She handed your phone back to you with a proud smile. “There. Our Spotify’s should be synced now.”

You don’t know why your face started to heat up. Something about listening to music together felt so intimate. Like you were opening a window into your soul.

“Are you sure you want to listen along?” You mumbled. “You might not like my taste in music…”

“I’m sure,” Hanni insisted. “It’s a good way to get to know a person.”

She stretched before settling comfortably into a familiar position, arms folded on the table. She motioned for you to put your Airpods in as she put her headphones back on, before dropping her forehead on her arms. “Wake me up when you’re done studying.”

You took a glance at the pale pink loop on her finger before focusing back on your work.

The sun was beginning to set by the time you finished, the sky painted with an array of vivid yellows and oranges.

You cracked your knuckles as you quietly started to pack up, observing a sleeping Hanni. If you strained your ears, you could hear faint snores, which you found quite endearing. You thought that Hanni was much cuter when she was asleep, a stark contrast to her usual brooding demeanor. Too cute that you almost didn’t wake her up, but guilt would eat you alive if you didn’t.

You cautiously poked her shoulder. “Hanni?”

It took a few more pokes until she blearily opened her eyes, grumbling under her breath. You retracted your hand as if she would bite. “You told me to wake you up…”

You suppressed a smile at the sight of a bright red mark on her forehead. “What time is it?”

“Just about to hit 7. I’m gonna head home.”

Just as you turned to leave, Hanni somehow got out of the chair in the blink of an eye and grabbed you. “Wait.”

You swiveled back around in confusion. She rested her headphones around her neck before stuffing her hands in her pocket. “Do you need to get home urgently?”

You shook your head.

“Okay,” Hanni said simply. “Let’s go.”

You wanted to ask “Go where?”, but Hanni brushed past you and was already walking out the door. You bit your lip. Surely you could spare an hour or two, just for today. You hurriedly adjusted your backpack on your shoulder before jogging to catch up to her.

Your hands were clammy for the entire walk. The sky continued to grow darker, and all the lessons of stranger danger that your parents had taught you were flashing in your head. Maybe it was a bit stupid to blindly follow someone you had barely talked to and only known for a few months or so. Well, if Hanni ended up kidnapping or killing you, at least you died to someone pretty.

Before your thoughts could derail further, Hanni finally stopped walking. Your legs were starting to ache. The last time you got this much cardio in was when you were running late for class in high school.

You took a few seconds to absorb your surroundings. It was a small lake, the water still as it reflected the last remnants of the sunset. It was secluded — you didn’t see or hear any other signs of life besides the inevitable chirping and buzzing of random insects. Hanni seated herself on a small grassy hill that faced the water, patting the space next to her as a signal for you to sit as well.

She leaned back and rested her head against the grass as she closed her eyes. You sat down awkwardly and set your weight on your backpack, just staring at her. Is she asleep again?

“Pretty, right?” She suddenly asked. Okay, not asleep. “I come here to think a lot.”

You gently tugged her hoodie over her head. She didn’t even flinch. You didn’t want bugs to crawl into her hair. “What do you think about?”

You were caught off guard by her deflection. “How do you think your soulmate is doing?”

“What?”

“You cut off your string, right? How do you think they’re doing?”

“Oh,” you tensed. “I’m not too sure. I hope they’re okay, wherever they are.”

Hanni hummed. “You’re awfully nice.”

You hesitated before asking the pressing question on your mind. “Do you really hate the idea of soulmates that much? What if you met them?”

“I wouldn’t say hate,” Hanni clicked her tongue. “I don't really know how to explain it, but I want everything to be my choice, you know? I don’t believe in things like fate. I just happen to meet people, and I choose who I want to stay and who I want to love.”

She shifted before continuing. “And I’ve seen what the string can do. People get too attached to the idea of soulmates, but sometimes they never end up meeting them and are left heartbroken, or their soulmate turns out to be a terrible person. So what good is it, really?”

You bit your cheek as you reflected on her words. Your instinct was telling you that there was more to the story, but it wasn’t your place to ask.

“And I don’t know what I’d do if I ever met my soulmate. I wouldn’t even know it’s them, first of all. But I guess if they’re a decent person, we could start off as friends.”

Hanni finished off with a sigh. “Anyway, enough of my rant. Can you spot any constellations? Or whatever astronomy entails.”

You stared at the sky. You could see the faint twinkling of stars if you tried hard enough. The wonders of light pollution.

“I actually don’t know much about astronomy,” you answered sheepishly. “I just remember having a space phase in, like, 4th grade. And so now I just remember random facts about space and find everything about it pretty.”

Hanni opened her eyes and turned to face you. “Tell me one.”

You pursed your lip in thought for a second, racking your brain. “Magellan was the first teddy bear in space in 1995. It even got a special astronaut suit. Very charming fella.”

You showed her a picture of it on your phone with a stupid smile. You felt your face warm up as Hanni chuckled at the photo, eyes crinkling. Ah. Her smile is so cute.

You cleared your throat to alleviate your fluster. “How about you? What are you into?”

“Nothing special,” she shrugged. “Music and games. Do you play games?”

“Not really,” you admitted. “I remember illegally downloading the Sims and never playing it after my Sim randomly died from a kitchen fire.”

Hanni cracked a smile. “Happens to the best of us.”

"By the way," you said curiously. "Did you learn a lot from my music taste?"

"I did actually," she smirked with arrogance. "You seem to be the sentimental type. A romantic."

"Huh," you blinked.

"You don't need to say anything," she continued smugly. "I already know I'm right."

The buzzing of your phone cut the conversation short. Your mother was calling.

“Oh no,” you winced as you slowly got up. “I lost track of time. I should get going.”

It looked like she wanted to say something, but chose not to. “See you.”

“Don’t you have places to be?”

She flicked her gaze from the lake to you, one that was unexpectedly intense. “Yeah. But I’ll stay here for a bit longer.”

“Okay,” you lingered there for a few seconds. “Stay safe.”

You started making your way home, oddly feeling content.

As more months passed by, the lake became a spot of solace for the two of you, meeting there regularly when either of you felt like talking (mostly Hanni). It was a bit hard at first, getting used to spontaneous hangouts (usually you enjoyed the comfort and stability of routine), but Hanni’s presence was a big help. You learned a lot from her, and especially admired her self-assurance.

You cherished these times as it was an opportunity to learn more about Hanni. Like the fact that she worked at the cafe on campus, despite hating coffee.

(You wondered how you never saw her.)

And the fact that she had performed for her high school talent show and ended up being the grand winner. And the fact that she once slept through the night at the library, and then woke up to the blinding light of a security guard’s flashlight shining in her face.

The more you got to know her, the more your feelings for her grew. Which you found to be quite problematic, because you were such a firm believer of soulmates all your life. Although there was that minuscule possibility that Hanni was your soulmate, you felt as though you were betraying your soulmate by falling for someone else.

Surely, it was free real estate. Your soulmate was the one who cut the string after all. To be honest, they probably don’t care at all. You don’t know why you were creating such a fuss about it. It was your inner guilt clawing at you. Didn't liking someone who wasn't your soulmate debunk the idea of soulmates itself?

You thought about what Hanni would say. You could hear her voice in your head: Love is a choice. Soulmates shouldn’t determine who you love. As much as it conflicted with you, every time you woke up to the thought of her, you found yourself agreeing with her more and more.

You also started to like the pale pink loop on your finger more and more.

“Hey.”

You sat cross-legged on familiar ground, picking at the grass. Hanni hadn’t come to the library today, which left you embarrassingly worried, but she had texted you to meet at the lake around 15 minutes ago. The two of you exchanged contact information the week after the first lake hangout. The two of you didn’t text though. That was, until today. “What are you doing here?”

Hanni’s eyes were closed, as usual. She seemed to ponder a lot. You always wondered what was on her mind. “Thinking.”

“And you called me here because…?”

“Figured you needed a break.” The corner of her lips tugged up. You let out a small smile too. Behind her nonchalant tone and nature, she was surprisingly sweet.

“What are you thinking about this time?”

“You.”

“Me?” You sputtered. “What about me?”

Hanni let out a breath. “My bad. I should be more specific. I’m thinking about my feelings for you.”

Luckily her eyes were still closed, because your face was turning red at an alarming pace.

“Really?” You squeaked. “And what are those feelings?”

“Good feelings. Something that could grow into love, I think.” She opened her eyes to meet yours.

“Oh,” you said. “...I may share those feelings.”

She closed her eyes again, a satisfied smile on her face. “Good. We’re dating now.”

You blinked in astonishment.

“It’s that easy?” You muttered to yourself. “I thought after getting my string cut, I’d never find love again.”

Hanni abruptly sat up. “What?”

You blanched at her cold tone. “What?”

“You didn’t cut your string?”

Shit. The air became tense, her anger palpable. Your hands tightened around a patch of grass. You bit your lip in shame. “...I’m sorry.”

“When?”

You looked at her in confusion.

“When was it cut?” She asked, exasperated.

“December,” you murmured, your throat clogging up. “The 4th of December.”

“Fuck!” She turned away. “That’s when I cut mine.”

Oh. She stood up and started pacing around in circles, running her hand through her hair in what you thought to be frustration. There was a whirlwind of emotions swirling in your chest — fear, guilt, regret, but also joy, as crazy as it sounded.

Hanni was your soulmate. You had to repeat that to yourself internally to really process it. Of course it would be her. Who else would it be?

You pulled yourself back to reality. Reality being a very distressed Hanni who would blow up and ghost you if you didn’t do something.

“Why did you lie?” You hated how you could hear the raspiness in her voice. 

You desperately tried to explain yourself. “I panicked the first time we met. But I never thought to tell you after that because I thought you would hate me for believing in soulmates."

“I’m not that spiteful. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if you believed in soulmates.”

“But we wouldn’t be where we are now,” you reasoned, your voice raw. “We started talking because we bonded over the fact that we both cut our strings.”

“Look at where we’re at now,” Hanni bitterly muttered. “I feel like our relationship is a lie.”

“It’s not,” you stammered. “This doesn’t have to change anything.”

Hanni whipped her head around with a glare. “Of course it changes everything!”

Her eyes softened when you flinched at the harshness of her voice. “Look, it’s just that I genuinely thought that I could finally be loved without either of us being bound by a stupid string.”

You plucked out another strand of grass. “There’s another reason, isn’t there? Of why you hate soulmates so much.”

She stopped walking back and forth. “Yeah.”

“Might as well air everything out, right?” You offered a wry smile.

Silence. You thought that this was the end, but she sat down, a bit further from you than before, and spoke again. “Long story short: I was in love. She was in love with me too. A year into the relationship, she got her string. She didn’t tell me. She just broke up with me and blocked me on everything. Found out days later when one of my friends told me about her new relationship with her soulmate.”

You wanted to reach out and grab her hand to comfort her, but that would have probably just made her hate you more.

“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, an ache in your chest. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Now that I know we’re soulmates, how do I know if any of our feelings are true? What if this whole relationship, from when we first met to now, was all because of ‘fate’?” Hanni said in a flurry, aggressively ripping out grass. “How much of my feelings are really mine?”

You flattened your hands in the grass to stop them from trembling. “I don’t know. But if we both like each other despite not knowing that we’re soulmates, and even after the fact that our string is cut, doesn’t that mean something? That this was our choice?”

Another pause. You held your breath.

“I need some time to think,” Hanni closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. “You should get going.”

You shakily stood up and took one last glance at her before turning around to leave, your voice small. “Stay safe.”

You didn’t see Hanni for the next two weeks. She didn’t turn up to the library, and you didn’t expect her to. You still felt a pang of disappointment regardless.

The revelation that Hanni was your soulmate weighed heavily in your mind. But that wasn’t the main issue. It was Hanni’s reaction to the fact that created an uneasy feeling in your chest. You found humor in the way that the thread that binded you together ended up being the thread that unraveled everything.

You cried for the first few nights, because you knew it was all your fault. It was like reliving that day in December all over again. At least you got some form of closure though — an explanation as to why your string was cut. But eventually, you accepted the fact that if this was to work out, you would both have to make a deliberate choice.

Your choice being to wait, and Hanni's being to forgive. You once believed love was all about fate, but after meeting Hanni, you learned that it was about choice, too.

You carried on with your routine as usual, but Hanni’s absence followed you wherever you went. The library room felt emptier, quieter. You just hoped that she was okay, wherever she was.

Was it selfish of you to be celebrating the fact that Hanni was your soulmate, when she clearly resented it? Your feelings for her didn’t change, they were the same before and after the realization that you were soulmates. Again, you hoped she would come to the same conclusion too, and still feel the same.

You didn't try to reach out to her or to find her working on campus. She needed the time and space, and you promised yourself you would wait for her.

The next time you met was not planned. It was a Wednesday, like always, and you had just finished a grueling 3-hour study session. The sky was particularly pink today, and it reminded you of Hanni. You found that a lot of things would remind you of her these days. You missed her greatly.

You decided to go to the lake. You lay down on the grass, closing your eyes. Doing this made you feel closer to Hanni somehow. Your mind meandered and you could imagine her here, doing the exact same thing. The solitude of the lake brought some temporary peace to your restlessness.

You got lost in your thoughts for the next hour before you heard the sound of footsteps, steadily growing louder and louder. Fear ran through your veins before you relaxed at the sound of Hanni’s voice.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied, voice hoarse. You kept your eyes closed. You didn't think you could handle Hanni’s gaze for this conversation. You felt her sit down next to you, her hand brushing against yours. You tried to ignore the goosebumps that followed and the heat radiating off her body.

It was silent for the next few minutes. After a bit, you opened your mouth to speak, but Hanni beat you to it.

“Did you really not know we were soulmates?”

“No,” you confessed. “I knew there was a small possibility, but I thought it was too good to be true.”

You swallowed as there was no response. “...How are you feeling?”

You heard her sigh. “Confused.”

“Can I tell you what my parents said when I asked them for advice?” You asked tentatively.

Hanni made a small noise of approval.

“They told me that the string doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. The two can coexist. They said there are plenty of people who meet their soulmates, but choose to be friends. And that they can still end up in a happy relationship with someone else.”

You gave yourself time to breathe before continuing. "I know that what happened in the past hurt you. But, don't let that define your view on soulmates. I think love is choice as much as it is fate."

“Thank you,” she breathed out after a while. “I think I realized that in the past two weeks, but I’m just stubborn.”

“And just to be clear,” you started slowly. “I still would have feelings for you. Soulmate or not.”

You felt the weight of the world fall off your shoulders as she replied, “Me too.”

“Hanni,” you bit your lip to stop a growing smile as you tested the waters. “Are we still dating like you said?”

Your smile only widened as you heard her laugh. “That didn’t count.”

Your ears perked up as the sound of Hanni shuffling around filled the air.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Just keep your eyes closed.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you felt something wrap around your ring finger, but your doubt quickly washed away as you recognized her movement. You waited for her to finish before opening your eyes.

You looked down to see a very real, tangible pink string connecting your ring finger to hers. You grinned as you tugged on it. This was infinitely better than the red string.

“Now it’s official,” Hanni huffed, turning away to look at the lake with the tip of her ears colored pink.

Your heart was full, it felt as though it could erupt at any given moment. “Thank you for choosing me.”

Hanni smiled softly. “And thank you to the string for leading us to each other.”

The two of you watched the sun dip below the horizon, bathing in the soft pink and purple hues.

You think that pink is definitely your favorite color now, though red would always be a close second.

("...There's no more secrets between us right?"

"No," you quietly chuckled. "That's all I have. You?"

"I..." Hanni cleared her throat. "Remember the first time we met? I actually didn't book the room."

You almost broke your neck from how fast you whipped your head to face her. "What?"

There was a guilty smile on her face. "Usually, I just storm into a random room and say that to kick people out. People just believe me and leave."

"Wow," you said in disbelief. Of course Hanni would do something like that. "So why did you let me stay?"

"To be honest, you were kind of pissing me off because of how long you were taking to pack up, and I just wanted to sleep," she admitted sheepishly. "But, let's just say that it was fate."

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. "Right. Fate.")

[cherryxsapphic]

Miss Delight sfw alphabet 🎀

So I heard the children were hungry for Miss Delight content well I'm here to serve 😌

I hope y'all enjoy ♡

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first, she’s very closed off and sometimes passive-aggressive because you’re unfamiliar, and she’s honestly just scared. Once you manage to coax her out of her shell (heh), she’s very touchy and wants to make sure you’re taking care of yourself to the best of your abilities. Being an anatomy teacher, she knows how much you’re supposed to be eating and sleeping, and if she finds out you’re lacking in either, you will never hear the end of it. 

She will force you into self-care and snuggle with both the most threatening grin and the kindest eyes you have ever seen. Although she herself doesn’t really need sleep, she will lie down with you just to be near you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Definitely the mom friend. She’s got snacks literally everywhere you can think of and will not hesitate to pull one out if you need/want one. In her shirt pocket, she carries granola bars and maybe a bandaid or two in case you’re accident-prone (like me oop-)

Gives the best advice too. Having relationship trouble? She's right there with solutions or just an ear to listen.

Don't know what to make for dinner? She's got cookbooks you can look through.

Want someone to come with you to the grocery store? Sure, just give her a second to grab the suitcase she calls a purse.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I like to think that despite Miss Delight’s body being mostly plastic, she still runs pretty cold, so every chance she gets, she wants to sap your warmth like a cumbersome house cat.

At night, once you lay down to go to sleep, she is all over you. You alternate between spooning and laying on each other's chests, trying to be as close to each other as possible. During the hotter months, she makes do with just holding your hand.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Homegirl absolutely cannot cook, please for the love of god, DO NOT let her in the kitchen EVER.

But besides that, Miss Delight is very good at cleaning! While you handle the cooking and do your best to help her in any way you can, especially after she deals with so many kids daily, girly deserves a rest.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Simply impossible. You would have to die before thinking about breaking up with her.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?) 

Marriage isn't really something Miss Delight would think about at first. She's happy just to be together with you because she loves you. She would still be perfectly content being your domestic partner if it never came up.

If you call her your wife, even lightheartedly, she would probably laugh along with you, but that might get the gears turning, and you would sit down to talk about it a while later.

When you propose, she wouldn’t  want a huge flashy event like at a restaurant. A romantic date night at home with her favorite meal by candlelight  would be her dream proposal.

She wouldn’t want a huge flashy ring because honestly, it's a bit much. Instead, she'd most likely go for a smaller solitaire diamond or just a simple gold wedding band.

 G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) 

Physically, she may not fully grasp just how strong she is until she hurts you by complete accident. Once she realizes, she’s incredibly apologetic and is willing to do anything to make it up to you.

Emotionally, she’s extremely fragile because of everything she’s been put through in the last ten years or so. Some days are easier than others, but other days she will be so riddled with anxiety and stress that all you can do is sit with her and let her know she's okay.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) 

Once she warms up to you, she’ll velcro herself to your hip. She’s spent 10 years by herself, so she is extremely touch-starved and will take advantage of all your time together. 

Because she’s mostly plastic (with the exception of her torso, which is strangely body temperature), she’s a strange combination of temperatures and textures, so it was weird to get used to at first.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would be one random night, probably after dinner. The two of you are cuddled up on the couch, not really paying attention to what's on TV.

She keeps glancing up at you and looking away, almost like she's worried about something. So, you nudge her and ask what's up.

Miss Delight is silent for a second before whispering, “I uh, I think I love you,” and immediately looks down at her nails as if trying to pretend she didn't just say that.

You’re still looking at her, and you wrap your arm around her a little tighter. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on the top of her head before whispering a soft

“I love you too.” 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Being the youngest out of all her sisters, competition over everything was seen as normal. She could handle jealousy like a pro until you came into the picture.

Now if another woman so much as breathes near you, she's pissed. If she could, she would keep you at home all to herself, but instead she will shoot that woman the nastiest glare she can muster and just will her into going away.

You'll talk about it after you get home, and she will think she did absolutely nothing wrong and was just protecting what's hers. Of course, you can't really be mad at her, so with a few kisses, she is forgiven for her mile-wide possessive streak.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) 

Imagine kissing the edge of your sink, but it presses back. She has no lips, but she’ll use her chompers to the best of her ability to give you all the kisses you deserve. Her favorite place to kiss you would be your neck cause she has a biting kink real <333

She would also enjoy neck and forehead kisses from you, especially if you're sitting in her lap so she can wrap her arms around you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) 

Homegirl is a teacher, she’s gonna be the best around kiddos of any age. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) 

Usually, you would wake up alone simply because she’s an early riser and can’t stand to be idle for too long. She’ll gently shake you awake and hand over a piping hot cup of coffee, just how you like it (she hates energy drinks and scolds you if you start your day with one)

If, by some miracle, you manage to crawl out of bed before her, she loves when you rouse her with gentle butterfly kisses all over her face (bonus points if you’ve got a plate of eggs and bacon with you)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

At first, she wouldn’t really know what to do with you. Miss Delight has spent a long time just watching and patrolling, so she would continue the habit regardless of your presence there. After you two get to know each other, she starts lingering closer to your room, almost like she’s guarding you. Gradually, she’d start laying down with you and not quite sleeping, but she enjoys resting with you. It gives her a sense of normalcy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As a teacher, she knows how to share personal stuff without making it personal, if that makes sense. It would take some time to get her to open up truly, and even then, some topics are absolutely off the table.

Should you accidentally mention one of the topics she won't talk about, like how the cracks in her face got there, or her sisters, or where she happened to be in August of 1995, she'll completely shut down and won't speak for a good few hours.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You would think that because she's a school teacher, she has the patience of a saint. You'd be correct, but that only applies to little kiddos.

If you're an adult acting dumb or wasting her time on purpose, she won't hold back, and you'll probably get something between a pointed glare and an all-out verbal lashing.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or forget everything?)

Her brain is like a sponge; if she deems the topic important enough, she will absorb every bit of information she can. 

You just so happen to mention your favorite song? She'll memorize the lyrics on the same day.

Mention a dish you happen to like? Well, she can't cook for shit, but she will memorize a recipe to help you make it.

Miss Delight will learn your routine down to the average time you wake up in the morning so that she can make fresh coffee for the two of you to enjoy.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

As cliché as it is, her favorite moment would be your first kiss. She had gone to extreme lengths to make sure everything was perfect for the two of you.

She had ordered your favorite takeout and set it up nicely on the dining room table, went out and bought a nice bottle of wine for you to share, and she even put on a touch of makeup for confidence.

You had come home and had probably the worst day ever. Your coworkers were just piling more and more shit on top of you, and your boss expected everything to get done. By the time you left, you were ready to just collapse into bed, dinner be damned.

When you walked in the door, you were greeted by Miss Delight standing next to the table, which was covered in your favorite food. She grinned and asked how your day was while stepping closer to take your coat off. God, you loved it when she did stuff like this.

With your coat now off and in her hands, you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and pulled her into you for the warmest hug you've had in years. You lean up and gently place your hand on her cheek before whispering about how good she looks, how much you missed her, and how nice she was for surprising you like this.

“W-well, I wanted it to be perfect.”

“Wanted what to be perfect, love?”

“This..” 

She whispered and leaned in to give you probably the sweetest kiss you've ever had.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Miss Delight and Barb would literally kill someone if they upset or, god forbid, harmed you in some way. She's definitely up there on the protectiveness scale.

Miss Delight is a very anxious creature, so she would definitely like to avoid dangerous situations now that she's in a good place with you. If something bad were to happen, she could step up but would definitely prefer if you either stood in front of her to shield her or wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Miss Delight absolutely loves to go all out for everything. As mentioned with your first kiss, she set up the perfect date night because she wanted to do something nice for the two of you.

Anniversaries would be something very special to her, considering the fact that you might as well be her soulmate at this point. Both of you will go all out for this celebration, calling out of work and spending the entire day with each other.

This also goes for holidays as well, especially like Christmas or Valentine's Day, because imagine sitting with her and making cute little Valentine's Day decorations to hang around the house or decorating the Christmas tree like girly goes all out.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She bites, but not even in a sexual way most times. She just thinks that’s a normal way to show affection, and it has left you bruised numerous times (not that some of you would mind)

Miss Delight also leaves coffee cups and dishes EVERYWHERE. If she takes one with her to the bathroom or her home office, she will absolutely leave it there. If she takes a travel mug to her classroom, you are never seeing it again.

Your good plates? You’d better keep those in the dining room. Otherwise, you might sit on one that she LEFT ON THE FUCKING COUCH BEFORE BED, GOD DAMMIT!!

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Miss Delight puts on a façade of not really caring what she looks like, but every so often, you’ll catch glimpses of her looking in a mirror. She’ll be staring at her cracked face, wondering if there’s anything that can be done or if she’ll be stuck looking broken forever. 

When you catch her in one of these moods, you always take your time to comfort and reassure her that she's beautiful (which she is) and that you will always love her no matter what she looks like.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely she would. You are quite possibly the best thing that has happened to her, and now that she's got you, she finally has someone to rely on and help care for her.

If you left, she would be torn apart mentally. The heartbreak might be enough for her to completely snap.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Miss Delight likes to jumpscare you sometimes. By standing still in a dark hallway or grabbing you from behind whenever you're not looking, she thinks it's funny, and your screams are really cute too!

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

As previously mentioned, she does not like energy drinks and will scold you if she catches you drinking one.

She hates cigarettes too, especially the smell and how bad they are for you.

Also, if you have a habit of cracking your neck, back, or knuckles, she won't say anything, but she hates the sound. When you do it, she'll stop what she's doing just to turn and glare at you.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

She doesn’t need to sleep. She didn’t for a long time until she met you. When you first laid down to go to sleep, she watched over you to make sure nothing messed with you. As time went on, she got more and more curious until she worked up the courage to ask if she could lie down with you; you just looked so warm and cozy…

She rested peacefully for the first time in over ten years that night. 

Special thanks to my beloved @s1nful-sa1nt this probably would not have ever gotten out without them, so I love you very much <33

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Another Day, Another Fanny Chapter...

Well that sure was fucking something huh? I promised I'd at least start talking about IM chapters on here instead of keeping it strictly to the discord server so here I am. Though most of this I already said, I don't mind going over it again, since I feel like I can better organize my thoughts on this.

Also there's no word limit, which is also great.

MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 348: RABBIT REFLECTIONS

So to start, let's rip the bandaid off and just say that everything Fanny said to Vicious in this chapter was bullshit.

At this point in the story with how Fanny has been acting around Cuphead I hope I don't need to specify how Fanny is in love with Cuphead when there's just too much evidence to support it. She kissed him because she wanted to kiss him, not because she was trying to see what kind of lowdown man he was. If Fanny had truly believed that, she would have confronted him about it long ago, but she didn't and we know why. And on some level, I think she knows why, too.

I think it's much easier for a reader to imagine this chapter as a conversation Fanny is having with her conscious. Saying something like this:

Is not her responding to Vicious but to her own thoughts that weigh on her. That kiss has been on her mind for about a week. And her reasoning behind it has changed even moreso. This is her settling on a final conclusion. This is her convincing herself of her own convictions. Of her worldview. That what she did was right, that she didn't ruin something good because it was never good to begin with. So that she doesn't have to confront that ugly realization in the pit of her stomach.

That Cuphead doesn't love her the way she loves him.

That last part specifically. Let's look back at the screenshot yeah?

-"She could almost see Oswald's glare. It was all the same dance. A carousel of pain and betrayal, around and around."

It's a strange thing, isn't it? To bring up Oswald. To equate Oswald to her current situation with Cuphead. Because that is essentially what she's doing, isn't it? It may seem odd, but I do have a reason for why she's thinking that.

Rejection.

Oswald broke up with her and moved on with his life, and Cuphead literally ran from her. Literally the only thing they have in common here, is the fact that they rejected her. But there's another thing too.

"No, she shouldn’t complain. She was lucky she’d found a man with a decent job. Little fights like these weren’t going to end it all for them. Besides, it wasn’t like marriage was about love and all that stardust. She had tried that avenue, and it had ended in heartbreak. Definitely not worth it. Dumb rabbit." (Chapter 74)

The bold is obviously about Oswald. Now compare that to now. Do you see what I mean? She fell in love again, and she got hurt in the process. Nevermind that in both these scenarios the men were also hurt. Especially Cuphead who trusted her and from his perspective, probably assumed she planned on using him for her own needs. Just like Meg. Just like Natasha. And in that way it's very interesting the wording she's using to describe Cuphead, and also Oswald for that matter, rejecting her.

Pain and betrayal. Very edgy, it's giving listening to that one slowed down piano version of Numb that everybody made fandom AMVs to back in the 2000s.

But seriously, why those words? It's a betrayal that Cuphead wasn't interested in the same way she is? Painful sure, that's kind of how rejection works, but betrayal really?

Or.

Is it a betrayal to herself? Thinking of certain aspects of this chapter as Fanny talking to her conscious would definitely lead me to believe that that's partially what it is. She'd already tried the avenue of love twice and it's ended poorly for her, so why did she do it again when she said she wouldn't. Why now, and why with someone like...like him? Like Cuphead? It's absurd in her head. It's something she can't make sense of. Doesn't want to make sense of it either.

So the betrayal could be referring to herself. But, I also think it could be something else, too. But for me to talk about that I have to talk about Oswald and Fanny's relationship because even after a disastrous break up they just can't stay away from each other~

So even though we don't have a lot of context for their relationship, I'm going to go off on a hypothetical that the "betrayal" in regards to Oz is that he offered Fanny (either literally or just like, the idea of the relationship with him gave her that impression) a way out of the dark. From chapter 327 that her home life wasn't great, and she doesn't seem to have any high opinion of her parents at all. Even the mere suggestion of going back home after her break up with Oswald seemed like a worse fate to Fanny than being homeless.

Oswald betrayed her because he was her first love, and also because she was supposed to be living the good life with him. They were supposed to be together forever, but then he broke up with her and next thing Fanny's hearing he's got a successful career and a beautiful wife and kids. She left everything behind for this man only for it to turn out like this. In some ways I can kind of understand what she means. But then she applies this to Cuphead and it's a bit stranger.

Because Cuphead never did anything other than offer her friendship and nothing more. Of course, at the beginning, Cuphead did have a crush on her, but by the end of the Wonderful Winter book he's basically over it. But then I think back to that book specifically, and I think about their interactions throughout and wonder if the betrayal is because Fanny misconstrued everything about their relationship because of how he'd previously acted. Is it the case, that Fanny thought they were both in the same boat, using each other as a form of escapism. She even calls Cuphead out for this at one point and makes an observation about it. Did she think it was the same for him as it was for her? That the feelings were mutual?

And, okay I actually can't blame her for that part. Look, no matter how you slice it, Fanny and Cuphead were just straight up flirting with each other in the early chapters. Not to mention Cuphead asking to take Fanny out to dinner? The Christmas group date? The aftermath?

At the beginning, there may have been mutual feelings of attraction sure but things have changed since then. And even though Cuphead put aside his feelings for her for good, if Fanny had shown any form of reciprocity then maybe things could have changed, but she didn't. But even still it doesn't really explain how Cup could have betrayed her. It stumps me and I've had a good nap to think it through and it's still confusing.

[genericpuff]

Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!

So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:

Pepper_maid

madame_issue

Usedbandaid/used_bandaid

Rach Alex

Rachel Royale

Raquel

Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat

Frill_house

Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)

Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.

Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)

One such example is "madame issue":

This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.

She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.

She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.

We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.

That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).

That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"

I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?

TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol

[yudontknowmesblog]

KENNY,STAN,KYLE AND BUTTERS HC WHEN THERE JEALOUS

Kenny: he would prob not get easily jealous

He’s definitely noticed when he did get jealous but not overly jealous

He prob just came next you and held your hand that time

But this time you made him jealous..

It’s so fucking cold “you want my jacket” some random guys tell you ohhh uhh…shit yeah sure but just for a bit *you take the jacket* “what’s your name” uhh..it’s y/n “nice my names Brandon” ohh uhh cool duuuuddee.. “you know your pretty cute” whaaat? “Yeah totally you wanna-“ he gets cut off my Kenny punching him. Oh my gosh! Kenny what the fuck “what he was being a fucking Perv” he says muffled by his jacket, yes but still that’s fucking stupid “what’s stupid is you taking his jacket” I have cold damn “could’ve asked me” he zips off his jacket and gives it to you and you see his blond hair, thanks Kenny your the best “yeah I know I am” you guys continue to walk to school and he steps on him while walking.

Stan: mmm he’s definitely a jealous type

He’s very clingy and needy

So good luck with that

Even if it’s a simple hi he think there flirting with you

As you were talking to the girls in class Mr garrison tell the class to be quiet and says there’s a new kid “is it boy?” “I hope he’s cute” “we need more girls” all the girls were talking about it and I was somewhat curious as well, the new boy comes in and everyone asks questions about him, what seemed to be an hour they finished the questions with new kid “okay your seat is right next to y/n” Mr garrison says, I smile at him in a friendly way and he sits right next to me (Stan to his friends the second new kid smiles back at you) “dude what the fuck is new kid doing” Stan says “he’s just being friendly” Kyle says “friendly my ass I know how it’s gonna be” “okay then Stan tell us how it is” “first he’s gonna be all friendly right then he’s gonna ask her to help him around the school then he’s gonna be like oh I can’t do this homework can you he-“ Stan gets cut off my Kyle “look dude it’s not that serious calm down” “fine fine but just watch” after class I walk out and new kid follows me (Stan ofc giving new kid death stares) “so I was wondering if you could help me around the school” oh yeah totally “sweet see you later then” as new kid is walking Stan grabs new kids arm “yo what the hell” new kid says “look new kid I know your new and stuff but like you shouldn’t trust that girl” “why?” “Ohhh sheeeee.. she bullies new kids like you” “wait really?” “Yes and your too stupid to know because your new and stuff” “mmm that’s fine with me she’s still cute” Stan pauses for a second and looks at him annoyed “what?” (They fought and ofc Stan won but you had to give him many bandaids and kisses)

Kyle: not a jealous type

He respects you and your friends

He understands there’s other boys

Honestly really chill

Not gonna make a story but I’ll say if he’s really jealous he would hold your hand or put hands all over your waist

A very respectful man!

Butters: is probably too dumb to understand all this jealously stuff

But he’s definitely been jealous once or twice

“Y/n and Clyde” Mr garrison said, he was giving out partners for a project

“So you should come to my house we have games and stuff we can play after the project” yeah that sounds good to me “alright then see you there” as your walking you see butters run up to you and hug you “oh geez sorry I’m just happy to see you again” aww I missed you to “s-so you got anywhere to be today?” Oh yeah I gotta go to Clyde’s, butters froze and his eyes were wide “why?” For the project butters “you promise it’s just a project?” And some games “what! B-but that’s a boy” yeah I know “and we are together this is weird!” Cmon butters it’s nothing bad I promise I love you and only you *you kiss him on the cheek* “o-oh geez” butters says with red cheeks and smiling and wobbilibg I’ll see you tomorrow bye butters I love you “I love you more” butters says with literal heart eyes (butters was talking to Clyde the next day)

Clyde: yeah me and y/n were

Butters: oh yeah my girlfriend

Clyde:..uh yeah we were having so much-

Butters: oh yeah well me and her like have an amazing time everyday.. and get your own girlfriend

[rosiesramblings]

Wound Up

Fandom: Stranger Things

WC: 1.3k

A/N: Hello! Long time no fic! I am here at literally the last possible second with a Squealing Santa fic for @girltickles who requested Stranger Things with Steddie or Steve and Robin - I couldn't pick so I kind of did both. Happy holidays! I hope you enjoy! @squealing-santa

Steve had been wound up tighter than one of Eddie’s guitar strings all day. Eddie had brushed it off as nerves at first - he and Steve hadn’t been dating that long, after all, and they had made plans to spend the whole day together. Eddie himself was a little anxious-excited. But the fourth time Steve shivered whenever Eddie got close, it was obvious to Eddie that something was up. So he waited, and he watched.

Steve’s hand seemed to be rubbing at the back of his neck every few minutes. He jumped when Eddie said his name, and blushed when Eddie raised an eyebrow at Steve’s antics. If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would say a toddler had inhabited Steve’s consciousness with how squirmy the guy was.

Finally, in the middle of the third Star Wars movie, when Eddie placed a hand on Steve’s knee only for Steve to leap up from the couch like he’d been shocked, Eddie decided enough was enough.

“Ok, Stevie, what the hell is going on with you today?” Eddie asked.

Steve blushed a deep red. “Nothing - I’m fine.”

Eddie didn’t dignify that with a response. He raised an eyebrow.

All at once, Steve seemed to deflate. He heaved a sigh. “Is it ok if Robin comes over?”

Eddie furrowed his brow even as he nodded. “Yeah, of course. Is this some kind of Russian interrogation trauma-bond thing?”

If possible, Steve blushed even deeper. “No, no it’s nothing like that. It’s just - it’ll be easier to explain once she gets here.”

With that, Steve slunk into the kitchen, and Eddie heard Steve dial the phone and speak in low tones before hanging up a few moments later.

Still avoiding eye contact, Steve made his way back into the living room to where Eddie was seated. “She said she was going to bike over,” he muttered.

“Well, let’s hope her balance on two wheels is better than her balance on two feet,” Eddie mused with a smile.

Steve snorted. “It isn’t. It definitely isn’t.”

Eddie played the movie, and the two watched quietly while they waited for Robin to arrive.

Arrive she did, about twenty minutes later, letting herself in with a loud, “Steve, do you have any bandaids I can borrow? Wait, who am I talking to, of course you have bandaids.”

Steve shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why do you need bandaids?”

“I may or may not have gotten into a brief altercation with Petunia.”

Eddie looked at Steve. “Who’s Petunia?”

“Her bike,” Steve said as Robin walked into the living room.

A quick scan of her person assured Eddie that nothing was broken, just a scraped elbow that was sluggishly bleeding onto Steve’s parents’ hardwood floors.

Robin stopped in the middle of the room, squinting at Steve with a critical eye. Steve noticeably held himself still under her gaze, but couldn’t hold back a shiver that was nearly imperceptible. Robin saw it, though, and her eyes practically lit up with mischief.

“Steven Elizabeth Harrington, did you really have me bike all the way here for this? When there is a metalhead right there who I’m sure would be more than happy to provide what you need?”

Steve hid his face in his hands. “That’s so not my name. And I - I couldn’t just ask him!”

Taking advantage of Steve’s closed eyes, Robin stalked forward and threw herself atop Steve’s lap. “Well, I hope you know that since I biked all the way here, I’m not stopping until I’m satisfied.”

Eddie balked at that - he knew Robin was gay, Steve knew Robin was gay, and yet - no, there’s no way. Eddie knew he was missing a piece of the puzzle. He just couldn’t figure out what.

At Robin’s words, however, Steve let out a high-pitched whine. Eddie blinked. He’d never heard Steve make such a noise.

“Don’t give me that,” Robin teased. “If you wanted someone nice, you should have asked Eddie.”

“Um, asked Eddie what?” Eddie piped up.

The look Robin gave him was pure delight. “Asked Eddie to tickle him,” she said, and immediately dug her long fingers deep into Steve’s underarms. 

Steve gave a shout of laughter before melting back into the couch, a tension that he had been carrying all day dropping from his shoulders. His arms pressed to his sides, but from the volume of his laughter, Eddie would guess that they provided minimal protection.

Robin cooed at her platonic soulmate. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? Just wanted to giggle for a little while?”

Steve threw his head back, “Ihihihihi - Ihihihihi don’t gihihihihiggle.”

Eddie snorted.

Robin gave a smirk. “Oh yeah? What happens if I get riiiiiiight here?” She drew her hands away from Steve’s underarms and attacked his tummy instead. Instantly, bubbly giggles filled the room as Robin scribbled over his ticklish spots, pausing momentarily to ruck Steve’s shirt up around his ribs. His giggles rose in pitch when Robin spidered over bare skin.

“Oh my god,” Eddie smiled to himself, but Robin heard him.

She beamed. “I know right! Isn’t this the best stress reliever?” She let one hand snake around to pinch at Steve’s side, resulting in a snort. “Honestly, Steve, I don’t know why you didn’t ask Eddie.”

“Ihihihihihi juhuhust couldn’t!” Steve cried out, twisting his torso in vain to get away from Robin’s evil fingers.

“Sure you could! I’ll help. Repeat after me: Eddie Munson, light of my life, moon to my stars, will you please tickle me until I forget my own name?”

Steve wailed at that, apples of his cheeks redoubling their blush. Eddie melted at the sight.

Just as suddenly as she started, Robin stopped her assault. Steve panted for breath between giggles as he blinked up at her in confusion.

“I’m waiting, Steve,” Robin sing-songed. She gently rested one hand on Steve’s hip and the other on his opposite thigh. “I’m not going to tickle you anymore until you ask Eddie to help.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open, betrayal written in the scrunch of his forehead. “Robbie,” he whined, throwing a hand up over his eyes.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Don’t make me say it.”

“But you’re so cute when you ask to be wrecked.”

“Oh my god.”

“C’mon, Stevie,” Eddie cajoled, delighted to join in the teasing. “You’ve fought monsters before. One sentence. How hard can it be?”

Steve squirmed beneath Robin’s hands, but she held firm, not a squeeze or scribble in sight.

Steve pouted. Then he sighed. Then he asked, “Eddie… would you please… would you please t-tickle me?”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Robin dug in with a vengeance, and Eddie leapt up to join her. Steve screamed with laughter as four hands descended on his body instead of two, electricity zinging through him as his friend and boyfriend grinned.

“SHIHIHIHIHIHIT! IHIHIT’S SOHOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAHAHAD,” Steve cackled, his arms coming down to unsuccessfully push at his attackers.

“Aw, but you asked for this, sweetheart,” Eddie teased, spidering his guitarist’s fingers over Steve’s rib cage. As Robin continued her devastating assault on his thighs.

“PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE,” Steve choked out, tears streaming down his face. Before long, his laughter went silent, and Robin and Eddie took that as their cue to back off. Robin swung herself down into the seat next to Steve’s and Eddie pulled Steve’s head into his lap, carding through his hair as Steve came back down to earth.

Steve’s giggles slowly petered out, and Eddie smiled down at his adorable boyfriend, who had turned to hide his face in Eddie’s tummy. That was fine with Eddie. Steve could stay there as long as he wanted.

It was Robin who spoke next. “Ok, now that that’s over, can I please have a bandaid now? I think I bled all over your couch.”

Steve just laughed.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

GRAPHIC STORY TIME UNDER THE CUT

TW : boils ; swelling ; infections ; major TMIs ;

So to start off, I have this hormonal problem where my body for some reason gets boils everywhere and anywhere from the neck down. Now, for those of you who have the same issue or have gone through the same thing, I’m praying for you. For those who don’t know, it hurts… so bad.

The past week I’ve been suffering with a boil right at the edge of my ribcage and underneath my boob(my boobs are rather large, which doesn’t make things any better). The first half of the week, it was bearable, it was sore, but not too bad.

Fast forward to today, and it has swollen on the top to the size of a dollar coin, and underneath the skin, it’s swollen to the size of a ping pong ball, and the bruising has expanded the size of a tennis ball. It HURTS. My boobs are constantly rubbing against it, and at this point, the top layer if skin has literally been chaffed off from the constant friction of both my boobs and my bra when I have to wear one.

If I was at my old job, I would have called out, but alas, I just started a new job, I’m on 90 day probation, so I’m scared to call out. So I go in. I am in TEARS as I leave my house, but I don’t want to lose my job, so I pull aside my crew leader (love her so much, she’s amazing) at the start of the night and ask her if I can be on light work. She agreed.

Fast forward an hour into the shift, my back hurts from trying to stand a certain way to relieve some pressure, but I am in so much pain that once I go out on break, I full on cry like a baby in my car. Like, hyperventilating, sobbing, blubbering, I’m a mess. I call my mom, I’m crying to her, don’t know how she understands a thing I’m saying, but she tells me to do what I think I have to do to not be in pain.

SO

I go in, not even finishing my break, I find my crew leader, still crying btw, and I ask if I can talk to her in the office. She agrees, and I get to the office, and I tell her that it’s really bad, I can’t take it.

Now, the cool thing about my job is that we have a medical office and first responders literally ON SITE, they just be working there as normal people until there’s a medical emergency.

So she calls the first responders and the two sweetest, loveliest ladies come up to the office, and they’re trying to calm me down first. It doesn’t work but A+ for maximum effort.

They’re contemplating whether to send me home or not because it is my 90 days (and in their defense, a lot of people bullshit being hurt to try to go home early). So they ask to see it, and lemme tell you, the audible gasps that left all 3 women’s mouths, that shit had me feeling like I was about to die on the spot. (Turns out they were just genuinely shocked and concerned that I came into work, and this was when I still had a bandaid on over it.)

So they take me down to the medical office, and they carefully take the bandaid off, and again, the GASP when they saw the big picture. They were so apologetic even though it wasn’t even their fault, and they were trying to figure out what to do because they didn’t want to touch it or hurt me more. They ended up just putting ointment on it and then gauzing me up like I’ve been shot, but I love them all for how kind they were.

They were offering to drive me home and everything and they told me not to worry about the 90 day thing right now and to just focus on fixing my problem and going to the doctor as soon as possible to get checked because my boil is definitely infected and they don’t want me to go into septic shock.

They even walked me out to my car and made sure I was okay with driving before going back inside.

Like, this job is amazing! Not the work, all work sucks a majority of the time; but the people that I work with genuinely care. I’ve only been there a week and everyone greets me with a smile and they just all care about one another.

I might be in severe pain and on the brink of sepsis, but the people at my job care and that makes my heart feel good. I have to go to the doctors tomorrow though, so not excited for that at all. :(

[neenerisms]

i had to think on this to word it properly because i have quite literally been yapping so much today that my brain can't handle it, but ngl, if syd does decide to take the offer, i need carmy to go through the equivalent of the nine stages of grief. his groveling era starts now. (s4 yap sesh, aka this isn't coherent and i'm just talking your heads off)

literally since s1 she's played a major role in getting the beef/bear to where it is right now. her ideas and their uniqueness is what allows the restaurant to not completely crash, which is why as a black woman i definitely get her frustration with carmy getting most, if not all of the credit in the end. plus with him fucking with her ideas as of recent and with her having to be the peacemaker all the time...how she hasn't punched him yet is beyond me. in s4 we need to bring back beating the shit out of characters jaw plays when they're irritating. (richie...your time to shine.)

so i kind of do want her to take the offer. i would hope it would allow for more syd screentime as well!! cause s3 was lacking. (storer, i want a solo episode for her. let me learn about syd's background in it too, and my life is yours.) i need her to have her moment to shine, and i want carmy to feel bad about what he lost. if we're gonna haunt people? this is the haunt i want. i want him to see articles on her, word of mouth, all of it—if he's getting a single moment of peace about it/doesn't feel bad about syd leaving and she has to come back with her tail between her legs instead then i'm asking storer to meet me out back so we can fight.

🙂‍↕️ also also, if this does happen, i kinda want them to be beefing a little (does this count as a pun?)...if we're gonna make them be cool with each other again like earlier szns, i feel like we're gonna have to properly take off the bandaid. as mentioned in a prev post i made, in the case of her taking the offer, i really want her to confront carmy for his behavior before she goes. i had also talked about this w/ some friends before s3 even came out, but the way i need a syd and carmy argument so bad. i think the conversation about the offer would honestly not go so well, especially considering carmy's state right now.

that's the kind of acting i need for this argument to prompt syd to leave. i need that pipeline of carmy's anger (hence the rivalry? if that's the word i'm looking for. i just feel like he'd be petty about her taking the offer and try to one up her in the early stages of her leaving.) turning into immediate guilt similar to how it was in the review ep when syd quit. insult to injury would be if the bear got affected by her leaving, by the way. whether thats menu wise or the rest of the crew just not being in the mood for carmy's bullshit, i'll take it.

so, a tldr: i need syd to put carmy in his place.