#so there was no way she could ever have seen or shared it with me
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕬NGEL BABY
Katseye x fem!reader
summary: katseye’s eldest can’t seem to get enough of her bandmates, who gave them the permission to be so cute? here’s a compilation of moments y/n has had with every individual member of Katseye, handpicked by eyekons <3
warnings: none, just fluffy moments
Y/N ABSOLUTELY BEING LOVE DRUNK ON THE KATZ (FT. YOONCHAE AS A CO-PARENT)
Sophia Laforteza: On an interview with Billboard playing “How well do you know your bandmates?”, Y/N and Sophia were sat next to each other.
The interview was going smoothly—at least, that’s how it seemed at first. The band had gathered in a chic, minimalist room for the Billboard video. But it didn’t take long for the interviewer’s eyes to flicker between Y/N and Sophia, both of them sitting a little too close, Y/N’s knee brushing Sophia’s. It wasn’t unusual for them to be near each other, but today, something felt different.
Y/N had been unusually clingy all day. She kept stealing glances at Sophia, leaning in just a little too much when speaking, and the way she kept hovering around her made it obvious: they were really attached today. The rest of the girls noticed it almost immediately, but none of them could resist having a little fun with it.
“So, we’re here with Katseye,” the interviewer began with a bright smile. “It’s great to have you all here. And, of course, the music speaks for itself. But... I have to ask—Y/N, is everything alright? You seem a little... extra close to Sophia today.”
Y/N blinked, caught off guard, but tried to play it cool, leaning back in her chair just slightly. “I—I’m fine. Just... you know. Just hanging out. No big deal.”
Sophia, who had been quietly observing her bandmate’s behavior, shot a playful smile at Y/N, the corners of her lips curving up. She knew exactly what was going on but wasn’t about to call them out too loudly—at least not yet. The others laughed at their eldest member being teased for her affectionate nature, unable to resist the urge to poke fun at the woman themselves.
“Oh, it’s definitely a big deal,” Manon said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Y/N’s got a serious attachment to Sophia today. Haven’t seen her this clingy in a while.”
Lara, ever the instigator, chimed in. “It’s like they’re physically connected. It’s honestly impressive. I didn’t know two people could share the same personal space so literally.”
Daniela added with a sly grin, “Yeah, Y/N, are you trying to move in with Sophia and kick poor Yoonchae out? I can already see the ‘sophisticated roommate’ aesthetic forming.”
“More like an ‘and they were roommates’ aesthetic,” Megan chimed, cackling at her own joke.
Y/N, cheeks flushed, glanced down at her hands. “I’m not—! It’s not like that, guys. I’m just... I don’t know. Feeling close to Sophia today, alright? Is that a crime?”
Sophia, who had been trying to stifle a laugh, leaned in with a teasing glint in her eyes. “It’s really fine, guys,” she said to the interviewer, her voice light but carrying a touch of mischief. “Y/N’s just a little extra affectionate today. They’ve got a lot of love to give, I guess.”
The interviewer raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “It’s definitely something we’re noticing,” they replied with a grin. “But, Y/N, is this a regular thing? Or is this just a special day?”
Y/N shifted uncomfortably, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. “I mean, can you blame me? I guess Sophia’s looking a little too cute today, I needed to support her.”
“Supportive, huh?” Manon smirked, leaning forward in her chair. “You know, I’ve heard of having each other’s backs, but you’re practically on Sophia’s back at this point.”
Lara let out a laugh. “Yeah, you’re like her human shadow. I’m surprised she hasn’t told you to take a step back and breathe for a second.”
Y/N sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’m clingy today. But it’s not that bad.”
“That bad?” Daniela teased, crossing her arms. “I mean, we did see you whisper something into Sophia’s ear a minute ago. Was that an emergency cuddle request?”
Sophia, still chuckling at the whole situation, nudged Y/N with her shoulder, a soft but knowing look on her face. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
Y/N groaned, her face turning redder by the second. “You guys are the worst. Can we please talk about the album? Or literally anything else? Please.”
The interviewer laughed along with the rest of the band, clearly enjoying the dynamic between the bandmates. “Sure, sure,” they said, still grinning. “But one last question before we move on—Y/N, are you sure there’s not something more going on with you and Sophia? The way you’re sitting so close, it’s starting to look like a rom-com.”
“As if you guys wouldn’t kill to be the co-lead in a rom-com with Sophia.” Y/N protested, but even she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.
Manon shook her head. “Yeah, right. We’ve got the whole thing figured out. Can’t fool us, Y/N.”
The band erupted into laughter, and Y/N, despite being embarrassed, couldn’t help but join in. Sophia nudged her again, a quiet reassurance in her touch, and in that moment, Y/N realized—despite the teasing, the awkwardness, and the jokes—Sophia wasn’t going anywhere. Neither were any of their bandmates.
But even as the conversation shifted, the warmth between Y/N and Sophia didn’t go unnoticed—Sophia and Y/N, best ship?
Manon Bannerman: During Manon’s live when she was trying on different wigs and outfits, Y/N joined in halfway through the live just watching her try differnet things on like a personal modelling show
As Manon tossed her cap aside to fish through her pile of clothes for another hat, Y/N kept her phone company to carry on with the live. Fans could hear Manon make noises here and there as she dug through her closet, but most of them were pretty engaged with the woman reading their comments.
“‘Y/N, what’s your favourite thing about Manon?’ Oh, that’s a very good question,” Y/N announced, looking up to ponder about the question. “There’s so many things I love about her.”
“You’re such a cheeseball, you freak nasty hoe.”
Y/N chuckled at Manon’s remark, glancing between Manon changing and the camera, making sure the Ghanaian singer was kept offscreen as she switched into a new outfit.
“I would say… Manon definitely pulls me out of my comfort zone a lot. She takes me to places to do things I never would’ve done myself if I wasn’t with her,” Y/N chuckled, “I’ve become so much more comfortable being myself with different people on different places thanks to her. She’s really molded me into the person I am today.”
Manon coos, pouting and throwing the older an ‘aww’.
“Yeah, I’m really grateful for Manon, but she can also be a real loud spirit sometimes.” Y/N mumbled through gritted teeth to the camera, leaning forward as if telling the eyekons a secret.
“Hey, way to ruin the moment,” Manon barked, tossing a hoodie straight at her head.
As the older squealed in surprise at the material colliding with her head, it gradually morphed into a stunned gasp at the outfit Manon had put on. Her hands flew to cover her mouth as her eyes widened, the live grew silent for a moment before Manon’s laughter at Y/N’s reaction rung evidently.
“Oh my God, you look absolutely stunning, babe. Get in here right the hell now,” Y/N reached out, her hand grabbing at Manon’s arm to drag the woman into frame.
Manon did a little spin for the camera, pouting and winking as she flaunted her outfit. She had a camo cap on, a skin-tight dollar bill shirt and some low waisted dark blue jorts that showed off her slender figure.
“Face card, lethal. Body, tea. Oh my God, this woman.”
Y/N gasped, a hand over her chest and falling backwards to lie flat on the floor. She crossed her arms, closing her eyes. “I’m actually dead. Dead by being gagged by such a pretty lady.”
Manon’s infectious laughter reverberated off the walls of the room, leaning backwards and away from the camera to drape herself over Y/N in a tight embrace. The two of them a clump on the floor, the fans spent the next two minutes just watching them laugh and cuddle.
“Wait, wait, I want you to do a catwalk.” Y/N perked up.
She repositioned the phone, ushering for Manon to stand at the other side of the room. Holding up three fingers to countdown, Manon began strutting her way towards the camera. Y/N let out wolf whistles, a hand over her mouth to muffle a squeal as she hyped the woman up.
“God is a woman and she’s posing for me,” Y/N teased, “I’m the luckiest woman alive.”
Maybe Y/N and Manon is the best ship in Katseye, who else showers their friend with compliments the way Y/N does?
Daniela Avanzini: [ KATSEYE VLOG ] Dance Practice for 2024 MAMA Awards (Mainly Daniela & Y/N Goofing Off)
Moving with the beat had never been a problem for Y/N, the woman practically had perfect rhythm. It was what made her such a talented producer, she could forge a beat out of anything with just her mouth. But something about this choreography was stumping the eldest member of Katseye, and no matter how many times she’d ask their instructor about it, she still just couldn’t get the hang of it.
Daniela and Megan were in their own little world, already syncing together for the next part of the choreography none of the others had learnt yet.
The camera panned from the main dancers to Y/N, who seemed to be struggling to execute a certain back-bend motion smoothly. Sophia was beside her, picking up tips on how to make her motions more fluid as well. After a couple seconds of footage of them just trying, it cut to Y/N waving a hand and walking off after thanking their instructor.
The camera followed the Katseye member to their water station, where the girl eyed the camera, shaking her head.
“I’m tapped out. I love a challenge, and I’m grateful they gave me the move instead of one of the other girls, but this is taking me out.” She mumbled to the camera, sloshing around a mouthful of water before swallowing it. Sweaty and exposed, Y/N fanned herself. “If you’re watching this after the MAMA performance, please don’t hate on me. I really tried here, Eyekons, I’m just not flexible enough.”
Done with the next section of the choreography, Daniela decided to stroll over to the camera, still trained on Y/N.
She could see why the crew was focusing on her more, she was wearing a wife-beater and some really low waisted gray sweats. It was the gym guy combo most tiktok’s loved thirsting over. Smart PR move to appeal to that audience.
Taken aback by Daniela coming onscreen, Y/N hadn’t anticipated the hug the younger member was about to entrap her in. Nonetheless, her arms were open and she welcomed the Latina into frame. “Oh, Dani, perfect timing. I actually needed to ask you for a quick favour.”
The blonde nodded, “Shoot.”
“I know you’re in the centre for this move, but I wanted to know if there was any tricks I can use to be able to make the transition between me standing and me falling to my knees to bend smoother.” Y/N’s hands rested on her hips, watching the Latina’s expression twitch as she thought of ways to help.
“Okay, wait, show me what you’re doing now.”
The camera backed away, giving the two space before Y/N ran through the moves once. She ended with the move on the floor, sitting before staring back up at Daniela for a reaction.
The Latina clapped, “That was already pretty smooth, I don’t even know how to make it look better than it already does.”
“Dani…” Y/N whined, propping herself up, “Stop being nice and just tell me the truth. That move felt clunkier than an elephant tap dancing.”
Daniela giggled at the older’s joke, leaning against her with an arm over her shoulder. “I can assure you, Y/N, you’re undermining yourself. You look so much better than you think you do.”
Y/N suddenly bent down, picking the Latina up and setting her over her shoulder with her ass in the air, earning a loud shrill scream from Daniela. The camera followed the two, panning from a red Daniela forwards to Y/N, who was carrying her around the room.
“Dani’s too nice for her own good, but if I could just kidnap and have her be mine forever, I would.”
Come on, Daniela wouldn’t let anybody else do that to her, Dann/n truthers where we at?
Lara Raj: [ WEVERSE LIVE ] KICKBACK STUDIO SESSION WITH LARA & Y/N
“No, no, we love Surf Curse. Lara and I have actually been talking about producing a song on the next that’s like an indie rock vibe, but I don’t think we’ve got the go for it yet.” Y/N announced, her focus on the computer in front of her as her hand tinkered with the soundboard. She had an electric guitar in her lap, a pick in her free hand and you could see Lara holding a microphone in the background.
“Yeah, we absolutely love The Backseat Lovers, uh… Wallows, Hotel Ugly—Y/N and I have a designated playlist just for indie rock,” Lara said. “Wait, should we show them the demo we’ve been working on? Like just the chorus or something?”
The older shrugged, glancing over at her phone sitting on the table, the immediate influx of comments urging them to play their song was criminal. Y/N chuckled at the fans’ reaction, “I think they really, really want to hear it.”
Lara nodded, “Then let’s get it.”
Y/N searched for a file among her many saved demos in her folder, clicking on one titled, “Growing Old (the one by the narwhals)”. Lara nodded, flipping through their songbook of lyrics to find the page that was titled the same. It was definitely one of both their favourites, of all the demos they have produced together.
“Okay, guys, so basically I’ve recorded the drums and bass to this song, but I’ll be playing the main tune on my guitar. Lara will be singing it and if you guys like it, we might pitch it to our team to get it on the next comeback.” Y/N said, looking back at the Indian singer, who gave her a thumbs up.
Clicking the space bar on her keyboard, it played.
“I’m growing old… my thoughts are changing, but will you change with me?” Lara’s silky voice rung into the microphone, the only sound in the room over the rough music. Y/N nodded along, fingers working the guitar strings as her eyes watched her bandmate intently. “Oh, will you change with me?”
user01 omg Y/N’s literally in love
user02 Need someone to look at me the way Y/N looks at Lara
user03 IF SOMEONE WROTE THIS FOR ME ID FOLD
user04 they’re stronger than me cuz i’d fall in love
As about thirty seconds of their song played, Y/N had a big smile on her face, bearing her teeth in pride as she clicked for the track to come to a halt.
The moment the song ended, the older set her guitar, nearly tackling the Indian to the floor in a bear hug.
“Oh my God, you’re actually a Godsend,” Y/N squealed, “That song will never ever get old because it’s you singing it to me.”
user05 SHES SO GF FOR THAT??
user06 Why is Y/N so shippable
user07 you can’t convince me lar/n isn’t real
“It’s only ‘cuz you wrote that sick tune. I think with the amount of people loving this right now, there’s a good chance it’ll be on the next album,” Lara nodded towards the positive feedback flooding the comment section.
“Guys, when I’m telling you I’m actually the luckiest woman alive to be able to sit and hear that voice over and over again, I’m not exaggerating.” Y/N squeezed the younger’s shoulder.
No, it is 100% Lar/N. A studio match made in heaven.
Megan Skiendiel: Katseye was gathered around a PR package sent by Olivia Rodrigo to be opened, Megan and Y/N were sat at the back of the group as Sophia and Manon did most of the speeches to thank Olivia.
“Thank you, Olivia, so much for the gifts, we love you and we can’t wait to see you.” Sophia spoke to the camera, “So, onto the unboxing of the package.”
As the girls ripped apart the package and explored the snacks and trinkets in the box, Megan and Y/N were fond of the bag of popcorn that was left in the box. Y/N immediately popped open the bag, letting the younger grab a handful first before she dug into it herself. Megan hummed, feeling the popcorn melt on her tongue with a foreign taste.
When Y/N popped one into her mouth, she immediately scurried to check the bag, her frantic motion catching the girls’ attention.
“Babe, there’s cinnamon in this,” Y/N said, pouncing to her feet to go grab a tissue paper from a staff member. Megan froze, eyes darting between the stunned Katseye members and the cameras. When Y/N came back onscreen, she shielded Megan from the cameras, holding the tissue over the Chinese girl’s mouth so she would spit it out. She then wiped her lips clean, brushing hair away from her face as Megan fixed herself up.
“For reference, Megan’s allergic to cinnamon,” Lara chimed, glancing back at the latter in concern.
The girls turned their full attention back to Megan. “How are you feeling now?”
Megan nodded slowly, her breathing finally returning to normal. “Good. Y/N caught it before I swallowed, so hopefully I don’t die. Thanks, Y/N.”
“Of course,” Y/N insisted, crossing their arms and settling in beside her. “You rest. I’m keeping watch. You’re not going anywhere until I’m sure you’re okay.”
Megan rolled her eyes but smiled. “Okay, Mom.”
Y/N just shrugged. “Yeah, I just saved your life, so... you better keep that attitude to a minimum, Skiendiel.”
Megan shook her head, but there was no denying the gratitude in her eyes. The bandmates were often playful with each other, but in moments like this, it was clear that they were more than just a group—they were family. And Y/N, in their usual overbearing way, wasn’t going to let anyone slip through the cracks.
Megan sighed theatrically. “Fine, I guess I’ll survive with you hovering over me.”
Sophia chuckled softly, turning back to the PR package they had abandoned earlier. “Well, I’m just glad you’re both okay.”
“Don’t worry,” Y/N said, their grin widening. “I’ll make sure Megan doesn’t eat anymore popcorn this time. There’s an epipen right there just in case.”
And with that, they stayed together, a little closer than usual, but with a quiet understanding that, no matter what, they had each other’s backs.
Y/N really babied Megan… #Y/gan anybody?
Jeong Yoonchae: [ KATSEYE VLOG ] Behind the Scenes of Making “Touch” Music Video
The set was bustling with energy. Crew members scurried around, adjusting cameras and lights, while stylists and makeup artists made final touch-ups on each band member. It was the day of Katseye’s highly anticipated music video shoot, and the excitement was palpable. With every moment, the vibe on set grew more intense—until it became clear that two members of the band, in particular, were completely lost in their own little world.
Y/N and Yoonchae had their looks touched up first, leaving the two of them ready and alone next to the set while other members got their looks done.
“I’m so excited for this! It’s like a—like a…!” Yoonchae said, hopping from one foot to the other as she adjusted her outfit. She was trying to find the word for what she was feeling, but her accent made it all the more adorable.
Y/N watched her with an amused expression, smiling at the camera at her excitement. “Dream come true?”
Yoonchae nodded, grabbing Y/N’s arm. “Yes, dream come true! It’s so cool! Look at the lights, the cameras…” She waved her hands dramatically, gesturing toward the crew, and then flopped onto a nearby chair. “Y/N, I always thought music video shoots were more glamorous. But it’s kind of chaotic.”
Y/N chuckled, walking over and sitting down next to her. “Yeah, for all the eyekons watching at home, there’s so many things going on at once here right now. We’re working really hard to give you guys the best video ever.”
Yoonchae looked at them, eyes curved. “Yes!”
Y/N’s smile grew. “You’re right,” they said dramatically. “I have to be the mature one. The one who has everything under control. No falling or tripping allowed.”
“Well,” Yoonchae began with a mischievous grin, “that’s not what I heard last night.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “What do you mean by that?”
Yoonchae leaned in, lowering her voice as if telling a juicy secret. “I heard... from Manon...” She paused for dramatic effect. “That you, Y/N, have the worst luck when it comes to... stage outfits.” She grinned even wider.
Y/N groaned, sinking further into the chair, clearly mortified. “Oh, no. Don’t you dare. That was one time.”
But Yoonchae was enjoying this too much. “One time? Wasn’t it, like, three times? Or four?” She pulled out her phone and started to scroll through her pictures, clearly looking for the embarrassing photo evidence. “Wait, I have a picture...”
“Yoonchae,” Y/N whined, slapping a hand to her forehead, “I swear, if you show that picture—”
But it was too late. Yoonchae had found it. She turned the phone toward the camera with a wicked grin on her face. The photo was a candid shot of Y/N from one of their earlier shoots, where she’d tripped over a cable, lost her balance, and ended up on the ground in an ungraceful heap. To make matters worse, she were wearing a sparkling strapless top that seemed to be caught on the edge of the stage, adding to the chaos. Yoonchae was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, while Y/N simply buried her face in her hands.
“Yoonchae!” Y/N exclaimed, half-laughing, half-sighing in defeat. “Why would you do this to me?”
“You look so cute!” Yoonchae protested, still laughing uncontrollably. “It makes me really happy.”
Y/N groaned, her cheeks flushing. “I’ll admit, it was embarrassing, but—”
“You admit?” Yoonchae interrupted, cutting them off. “You looked like a baby deer.” Yoonchae collapsed into her chair, clutching her stomach as she continued to laugh.
Y/N shook her head, clearly trying to maintain their dignity. “You’re so cruel, you know that? You’re lucky you’re the youngest. If I were the youngest, I’d be way more merciless.”
Yoonchae stuck out her tongue, teasing. “That’s because you’re old, and you’ve got to be all serious and responsible.”
Y/N let out an exaggerated sigh, shaking her head into the camera, pretending to be resigned to her fate. “Alright, fine, I’ll give you that one. But I’m never telling you another embarrassing story again.”
Yoonchae’s eyes widened in mock horror. “You have to!”
Y/N shot her a look, pretending to be stern. “I’m serious, Yoonchae. I’ll tell everybody but you.”
But Yoonchae only pouted, clasping her hands together in a pleading gesture. “Please, please, tell me more! I’m begging you! I’ll be really sad if you don’t!”
Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back the smile tugging at their lips. “Fine. But only because you said ‘please’.” They paused, thinking for a moment. “Okay, how about the time I accidentally dyed my hair neon green before a concert?”
Yoonchae gasped. “No way! Tell me more!”
Y/N, now fully enjoying the teasing, leaned in closer. “Well, I thought it would be a fun, bold look, but the dye got all over my hands, my clothes, and the stage lights made it look like I had an actual glow-in-the-dark head. It was so embarrassing that I wore a hat for the entire set. Not one person told me I looked ridiculous. Not even you!”
Yoonchae gasped dramatically. “How could I not tell you? I think I need to have a word with our bandmates.”
Best sibling dynamic, hands down.
#katseye x reader#katseye#manon bannerman x reader#manon bannerman#sophia laforteza x reader#sophia laforteza#daniela avanzini x reader#daniela avanzini#lara raj#lara raj x reader#megan skiendiel#megan skiendiel x reader#yoonchae
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Champagne Problems
♥ masterlist | request rules | 12 days of ficmas
♥ pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader
♥ synopsis: the two of you end up at a party with different intentions
♥ wc: 2k - as always none of the pictures are mine
♥ warnings: swearing, angst, and alcohol (drink responsibly please lol) !!!
♥ a/n: TONS of angst in this fic so get ready lol <3 i've been wanting to put out this fic for SO long you don't understand. tagging bestie @theonottsbxtch
Charles was head over heels in love with you—it was a shame, really.
You sat on your shared king sized bed in a sparkly dress, observing your boyfriend as he slipped on a gold watch.
“We need to leave soon mon amour,” he said, wandering over to you and kissing your cheek. “We don’t want to be late, do we?”
You nodded and adjusted the jewelry on your hand.
Charles folded the cuffs on his sleeve, “You alright?”
“Mhm,” you nodded with a fake smile.
You hadn’t seen Charles in months because of his work. Ironically the first place he wanted to take you was a gala... For his work.
The two of you met because of your love for F1. The narrative of Ferrari brought you together and despite his promises to be there for you, he always left them unfulfilled.
You were alone. Way too often. Left by yourself to take care of Leo and be his wag.
You and Charles wandered outside the apartment to his car. He opened the door for you—like a gentleman. But you couldn’t shake this melancholic feeling whenever you’re around him.
-
”Hey, where’s Charles?” Arthur, your boyfriend’s younger brother asked with a smile.
You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink, and gazing at the room full of talkative people. The second you got there he wandered off to find Pierre. You couldn’t even blame him. This was for business after all.
”Hm, that’s odd. I’d expect him to be with you.” he scrunched his nose. “I remember one time last year—he was so excited to come home for winter break and see you. He would talk about you all day to me on the phone,” Arthur chuckled.
You gave him a faint smile. That was the Charles you fell in love with. Alas, he was across the room talking to someone else’s girlfriend.
“Well, let me know if you see him. I’ll see you in a few weeks for Christmas, yeah?”
You swallowed hard, pausing before a response.
“Yeah, yeah of course,” you smiled with a nod.
“Great, Maman said she already got you gifts,” he laughed. “I’ll see you around Y/n.”
He nudged your shoulder with an infectious smile, wandering off with a drink in hand.
God, why did this have to hurt so fucking much.
-
“Thank you all for being here,” a man said into a microphone, commanding the room to silence. “It has been an incredible season, but now we must start planning for the next one. Thank you to all our sponsors who are able to make this happen and congratulations to all that we have done this year.”
He raised his glass of champagne, leading everyone to follow and clink theirs together. You sat at a round table with your closest friends from the industry, Pierre and Kika as Charles got up to ask the man at the front of the room something. He came back with the microphone in hand and turned it on.
He stared down at you, eyes peering lovingly into your soul.
“Y/n… you are the most beautiful, kind, intelligent woman I have ever met,” he spoke into the mic, elicting a few ‘awh’s’ from the crowd and drawing at least a hundred eyes to you.
Charles slowly bent down, grabbing something out of his suit pocket.
Your eyes widened and you tried to say something but you couldn’t. Every word was trapped in your mouth, despite your jaw being on the floor. Plenty of gasps and whispers came from the room. You could see Kika’s eyes light up, clearly ecstatic for you.
“I don’t really have a whole speech planned,” he laughed softly. “All I can really say is how much I love you… Will you marry me?”
He flicked the ring box open, revealing a gold ring with a huge diamond.
You paused, trying your best to take in everything that has happened before shaking your head.
“Charles… can we talk about this somewhere else?” you whispered.
Charles' expression dropped instantly. He knows what that really means.
More gasps. More gossip.
Clearly the whole room knew what it meant too.
“Is she fucked in the head?” you heard someone from the crowd whisper.
Followed by, “If she won’t marry him I will,” and “What a shame.”
”I’m sorry Charles, I’m gonna get a Lyft.” you whispered, squeezing his hand.
Kika looked at Pierre completely stunned. This was certainly not how the two of them thought the night was going to go. This was certainly not how you thought the night was going to go.
Kika’s heels clicked on the tile floor as she ran after you, pushing the two glass doors open to find you sprinting down the long set of stairs.
“Y/n, wait!” she shouted after you.
You sat at the bottom step, waiting for your ride to arrive.
She stopped beside you, “I can drive you home,” she mumbled.
“That’s alright, I already paid for it.”
She sat down beside you and put a warm hand on your shoulder.
“Are you okay?” she whispered.
You grabbed her hand gently, feeling the coldness of her gold rings. You shook your head no.
She wrapped an arm around your shoulder, forcing your head to rest on her shoulder.
She kissed your head sweetly, “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered in your hair.
-
You tossed your things on a table right next to the front door and kicked off your heels. You strut over to your kitchen and opened the fridge in hopes to find more alcohol. You were already probably drunk on Dom Perignon and your own tears, but with everything going on you might as well try to forget the horrendous night.
You grabbed a small glass from a cabinet and closed the fridge door, flinching when you saw Charles standing in the dark.
“Jesus Christ, Charles…” you whispered, pouring yourself some straight Vodka.
You braced your hands on the side of the marble counter, closing your eyes. Maybe if you close them tight enough he’ll disappear.
You sighed, “I don’t know how to start this conversa-“
“You said no?” he whispered. You could hear the heartbreak in his words.
You swallowed hard, looked around the room—anywhere but his eyes.
“I never said no…” you trailed off.
“But you meant no, right?”
You thought about marrying him before. A lot, actually. Racing, Traveling, Family. But there was always one thing missing from every daydream. And that thing was Charles.
You can’t follow him around the country for his job and even if you did—is that who you wanted to be? Just the wife of Charles Leclerc?
“I don’t think you can truly be committed to this relationship. This isn’t what I need, and that’s okay.”
“I can't truly be committed?” he scoffed. “I'm not truly committed enough to get down on one knee?”
Your relationship this past year wasn’t what you wanted. But one day it will be what someone else wants, and that’s what he deserves.
“C’mon Y/n, I love you-“ he muttered.
“Love isn't always enough,” you whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
Ah, the painful truth.
You watched as his face dropped, fully taking in the cruelness of your words.
“Charles, I’m sorry…” you whispered, tears forming in your eyes.
“Just go. Foutez le champ de chez moi, I don’t want to see you right now.” (translation: get the fuck out of my house) he muttered harshly.
-
It’d been a year since you last saw him. That night you packed up all your things as he slept at Arthur’s. You were gone by the time he got home.
You still spent time in the F1 scene. You had friends there too, but it still felt a little cruel. You didn’t fall out of love, at least not with someone like Charles—that doesn’t happen.
If the circumstances were different you might have been married. You would’ve had a beautiful ring, a beautiful family, and a beautiful man.
“Y/n,” Kika shouted through a laugh, half sprinting in her heels. Her right hand settled on your bicep and her left took your forearm, yanking you towards a group of women.
“C’mon, I haven't seen you in months,” she said, causing you to crack a smile. You rolled your eyes and slipped off your bar stool, ready to get a little tipsy with your friends. She was right. It had been way too long since you had a girls night. The last one was before you lost your status as a wag.
Today it was you, Kika, and Rebecca—all in elegant outfits that perfectly fit your vibes. Kika in a black long sleeve, off the shoulder neckline number, Becs in a sparkly red one that she luckily got to keep after modeling, and you in a short white satin dress with spaghetti straps and some matching white heels.
“You look like you need a drink,” Rebecca said, looking you up and down.
You sighed, “I haven’t been to an F1 event since you know…”
She rolled her eyes, “That's exactly why you need a drink. Forget about him and have fun with us. Your favorite sport should not be attached to the memory of a man.”
Great point.
“Come here,” she dragged you back to the bar Kika pulled you from.
She ordered three martini’s on the rocks, extra olives.
She handed you one of the glasses, “We’re going to meet up with Lily M and Carmen in about an hour alright? We’ll be out of this place in no time and you won’t even think about you know who.”
“Where are we going?” you asked, sipping the drink with your eyebrows raised.
“It's a surprise,” Kika said with an eye roll as if to say “duh”.
You spent the next hour drowning in new conversations and shots. Sure you were at someone’s work party, but it’s not like you had to be professional. No one seemed to give a shit what Charles’ “Ex Wag” was doing.
“Carmen and Lily are outside, are we ready to go?” Rebecca asked, peering up from her phone.
“Yeah, I just need to find the bathroom and then we can go,” you lied, grabbing your clutch off the circular table.
You wanted to step outside and get a quick bit of fresh air before you returned to the group. They were doing something amazing in order for you to move on from your past relationship, but all you could think about was something you shouldn’t be.
It's been a year, you should be over him, right? Too bad the pain didn’t stop at Charles. It was his whole family. God, you missed Arthur so much. You missed fighting with him about what Christmas movies to watch and hanging out in the Ferrari garage together. You missed Lorenzo and his older brother-like wisdom. You missed Pascale and how she welcomed you with open arms into the family. Fuck, you felt like a traitor.
You sighed and wandered off onto the balcony, picking at the rhinestones on your purse. You leaned over the railing, letting the cool wind kiss your skin.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” an accented voice said from behind you. You would recognize it anywhere.
Charles took his place beside you, avoiding eye contact. It took a good minute before you were able to respond.
“I- uhm… I heard you and your new girlfriend broke up. I'm sorry,” you muttered. What an odd way to start this conversation. You weren’t even sure if it was true, you heard it in a tabloid.
He hummed, “I suppose love wasn’t enough to save us.”
Ouch.
You scoffed, “Yeah I guess not.”
The silence was loud.
“Sorry,” he whispered in a change of tone. Maybe even a change of heart. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Yeah,” you whispered back, unenthusiastic.
“The family misses you.”
You smiled slightly. That was good to hear. “You can tell them I miss them too.”
“...I miss you.”
He placed his hand on top of yours slowly, gently rubbing his thumb across yours. His cold silver rings brought flashbacks to your mind.
You looked up at him, tears begging to fall from your lashes but you kept it together; at least until he was gone.
You squeezed his hand like you used to, “‘l’ll see you around, Charles.”
You had to remind yourself why you said no everyday. It didn’t matter if you loved him and it didn’t matter if he loved you. You won’t settle for second in his life.
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
taglist; @sainzzreputaticn @theseerbetweenus @yawn-zi
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I'D RATHER PRETEND
CHAPTER SIX
tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur thelightknight21 wc: 18.3k notes: masterlist (sorry, nothing funny today, this chapter and last nights game actually destroyed me) but holy word count who cooked here 😹 i fear the last half of this chap is kinda rushed but writer's block was going crazy and i truthfully only had plans for like THREE (3) specific scenes...if you can't tell, planning, pacing, and the timeline are my biggest opps 😾 but i'm grown so i do what i want!! also, smut warning! if it's not your thing, it's at the very end and you can skip over it without missing anything super important. i'm not a smut writer, i just work here, but i put pen to paper and it just came out (no pun intended) 🤷♀️ sorry for making this as long as the chapter itself, but as always, lmk what you think and i hope you enjoy 🫶
‘The Hard Launch Heard Around the World’
For college basketball fans, Christmas has come early this year. On June 21st, Paige Bueckers and Tess Kennedy’s long-awaited hard launch was finally shared to Instagram after a month and a half of speculation, fan theories, and less than subtle interactions online. Kennedy shared a collection of pictures with the caption “here’s to tess kennedy’s worst kept secret. thank you for coming into my life when you did.” Many of the comments consisted of undecipherable keyboard smashes, such as one commenter’s “TESS AND PAIGE? AJSFKFJKDSJK”, but overall, Kennedy’s comment section was full of congratulations, support, and praise.
Bueckers, similarly, shared a collection of photos, although her caption was a lyric from Frank Ocean’s “Sierra Leone.” If you have been following Kennedy’s journey thus far, you may remember that the first ever soft-launch photo she posted to her story included another lyric from this song. Bueckers’s caption, reading “And her pink skies will keep me warm,” is seen as a call-back to that moment, with many fans accepting this as the confirmation that Bueckers and Kennedy have been seeing each other all along.
Their hard-launch precedes their Bose endorsement. The two of them starred in a commercial showcasing Bose’s newest product, where they became known as Mrs. and Mrs. Bose. Some critics noted how specific the timing was, arguing that their hard-launch was just a stunt to further promotion for Bose’s product, although supporters rallied in defense. Commenters noted that Bueckers and Kennedy spent most of their time this offseason in different states – this Bose ad was the first time they were able to be in person together, so they surmised that it was just the optimal time to announce it. Another fan also pointed out that their history speaks for itself.
Regardless of the timing, one thing is for certain – Bueckers and Kennedy are the next “it” couple. Their influence is beginning to spread outside of the sports world, and many people believe that their openness is going to be pivotal in breaking barriers and promoting acceptance for queer athletes.
-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report
JULY 2023
The months after their hard-launch go about as well as anyone could have expected. Once Tess and Paige made it back to Brooklyn and Minnesota respectively, things were…nice. They finished June out strong, in near constant contact and on FaceTime. Tess kept her feelings close to her chest. She knew there was no way Paige was into her in that way. She wasn’t the type to be tied down, and Tess had to respect that – even if she was one for commitment, Tess doesn’t think that she’d be her first choice.
All she can think about is their agreement. Paige had so confidently said that she could do casual. She wasn’t the one who caught feelings. And as far as Tess is concerned, she isn’t sure if her reputation is worth how complicated her life has become. She’s not the one to pretend to be someone she’s not; not the one to pretend to feel a way (or not feel a way about something). Her relationship with Paige used to be something that brought her great comfort, but now she can’t help but feel like she’s ruined something perfectly fine by allowing her feelings to get the best of her. Now, she’s not telling a story to the public or selling a ruse. Bree was right – she is lying to Paige, and that’s the worst part of it all. Paige doesn’t deserve her dishonesty, nor her inability to keep things strictly business as she’d once promised.
So, June was okay. They talked, Tess spiraled, but this is her life now. Tess would eventually have to learn to keep her feelings at bay.
Then July hit.
July was like a blessing in disguise, the perfect opportunity for Tess to work on herself and hopefully get rid of her lingering feelings for Paige. She could get over her. It’s not a big deal. So what if Paige was the first person she’d ever felt romantically for? Tess is new to all of this – she can’t honestly know perfectly what liking someone felt like. The denial wasn’t particularly effective, but if Tess keeps speaking it into existence, then it has to come true, right?
July was when summer practices started back up. Paige flew back to Storrs the first week. Tess was supposed to fly back to Columbia, but given her injury and the fact she wouldn’t be able to contribute much to practices, Coach Staley gave her the all-clear to stay in Brooklyn and soak up as much PT with Terri as she could. Craig was qualified, although the both of them knew Terri had a different approach to rehab than Craig did.
Paige gets busy almost immediately. She’s fresh off an injury and her role on the team has shifted due to other’s injuries, so she’s swept up into an incredible amount of extra practice, film watching, and learning a different part of the game. Tess gets…the complete opposite of busy. She still does PT three times a week, meets with Yvette, but with Paige gone, all of her free time becomes free again, and she doesn't even know what to do with herself. Fortnite, as stupid as it sounds, makes her think of Paige. Her feelings are still too fresh and the mere thought of the game reminds her of the countless hours she and Paige wasted away on it, laughing, flirting, and celebrating their wins. It’s not a break-up, but it feels oddly like one. Tess used to be stronger than this. That was the worst part.
With Paige’s time being occupied by things out of her control, Tess uses it to her advantage. She tries to get over her, spaces out her responses when Paige does get the time to speak. With her knee in better shape, she tries out yoga. Tess can’t quite master the idea of clearing her mind. Paige’s name echoes like a mantra in her brain, the image of her blue eyes blinding. No matter how hard she tries, all Tess can think about is the pressure of Paige’s lips on hers, the way she’d guided her jaw just how she liked, the weight of her hand on her and the way she was able to feel exactly how she made Tess’s heart race.
She’s so fucked.
It hurts, Tess has to admit. Covering up lies with even more lies. She’s not completely sure what happened to turn her into someone who couldn’t tell the truth. It hurts even more to know that she’s not just hurting herself, but she’s hurting Paige, too, who’s not even at fault for any of this.
Hey I got a couple hours free tonight Facetime? I miss you
[Delivered: 4:32pm]
Are you okay?
[Read: 7:53pm]
sorry, busy tn idk if i can
It’s cool Do you know when you’ll be free?
idk got a lot going on
Okay Call me when you can
[Delivered: 7:54pm]
Tess feels like she’s going to throw up.
AUGUST 2023
Paige doesn’t give up, but Tess can tell she’s losing patience and hope.
She gets a two week break after the end of summer practices, then she and her teammates are heading overseas for their Europe tour. They’re playing a couple of exhibition games. Back in June, Paige had been so excited to send her pictures and tell her all about it, but they’re a day into their trip and she hasn’t heard a word from Paige. It’s for the best. Paige needs to lock in for her games. She can’t get caught up in Tess again.
Tess ends up tuning in for one game. She can’t help herself, even though she ends up turning it off after halftime. There’s a noticeable difference in the way Paige is playing. Tess knows it’s because of her. She’s a little more sluggish, sloppy in her passes, missing a lot more than she usually did. Bueckers, first exhibition game since her ACL injury, the commentator noted. She’s not quite warm yet, but we all know she’ll be on fire once the season starts. Tess knows better than that. It’s her fault.
Still, Paige tries.
You busy?
[Delivered, 5:43pm]
Zagreb is beautiful [3 Attachments] Text me when you can
[Delivered: 6:38pm]
[Read: 9:01pm]
sorry. just got free
It’s okay FT? Can’t sleep
i can’t, have to be up early tomorrow you should get some rest. it’s late
I don’t care I miss you I feel like we never talk anymore Did I do something? Whatever it is I’ll fix it I promise
you didn’t do anything just got a lot going on
Me too
[Read: 9:03pm]
Okay cool 😂 Let me know when you’re not too busy for me Goodnight Tess
[Read: 9:04pm]
SEPTEMBER 2023
July and August were busts – no matter what she did, she wasn’t able to keep her mind off of Paige. Distancing herself wasn’t very effective, but she shouldn’t expect results after two months, right? Maybe she just needed a little more time.
Paige texts her once in September.
I just wanted to say I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or if there was something I said that hurt you. I meant it when I said you didn’t have to be scared with me. I still mean it. If there’s anything at all I can do or say to make you believe that, please let me know. I don’t like arguing or how we left things and I hate feeling like I’m not fighting hard enough for you. I shouldn’t expect you to drop everything to talk to me. You’re busy and you have a lot going on. Saying what I said was unfair. I’m sorry. But I miss you. Please let me know how I can fix us. I don’t care what it takes. I’ll fly out if I have to, just please don’t shut me out
[Delivered: 2:48am]
OCTOBER 2023
Paige gives up in October. It brings Tess more anguish than she was accounting for.
On the 20th, Tess texts her happy birthday. Paige doesn’t bother reading it. Paige doesn’t post anything for her birthday, either.
Tess wonders if she fucked them up for good.
Maybe it’s better this way.
NOVEMBER 2023
Ghosting Paige wasn’t the right decision at all.
A little obvious in hindsight, but at least Tess can say she tried. Five months apart didn’t magically fix Tess’s problem. It made it worse. She still feels the same for Paige, if not stronger, but affection becomes a difficult pill to swallow when it’s poisoned with guilt and shame. After her injury, she should have learned that pushing people away does more harm than good. Paige didn’t deserve that, but maybe this is who Tess Kennedy is – someone who’s blind to what’s in front of her, someone who leaves when it gets hard, someone who avoids her problems entirely, someone who treats the people she loves like disposable objects. Maybe it was better for Paige to find that out early on before their contract expired and Paige wanted to continue being her friend.
On the 17th, Tess’s birthday, she gets a lifeline.
Happy birthday
Paige’s text is like a knife to the gut. Tess twists the blade herself when she notes the lack of excitement, the lack of emojis. Her message is bland, more like an afterthought, and Tess can’t even be mad – she deserves it. She debates leaving it on delivered, much like Paige had left her message on delivered, if only to spare her from this constant back and forth cycle of will-they won’t-they. But her fingers move faster than her brain does.
thank you
[Delivered: 11:11am]
[Read: 11:11am]
And much to her surprise, Paige responds.
My mom wants to know if you’re still coming for Thanksgiving She bought you an ugly sweater to wear for family photos
There’s a lot of things Tess can say to that. Family photos is enough to make her chest tighten, her stomach roil with anxiety, her throat constrict. It takes everything in her to not break out into sobs, but she bites her lip hard enough to draw blood as she types out her message.
you want me there after these last five months?
Tess doesn’t think that was the right thing to say. Paige types for a long while.
I want what’s best for the story My parents think we’re together We need to keep up appearances
Tess would have preferred it if Paige just left her on read. Delivered. She would have understood if Paige just blocked her all together. She would have preferred if Paige had texted her at any other day, because it’s her birthday, damn it; she’s turning 22 and she’s sitting in her bed crying because this is all she and Paige are, anymore – a story, an appearance to keep up for the sake of their images. But it’s her fault, isn’t it?
i’ll be there
Okay 👍
Tess thinks that’s the end of their conversation until she gets an email. It’s an airline ticket, a roundtrip – she’d be flying out the 22nd and leaving Minnesota early on the 25th. They’re first class. Tess feels like she could throw up again.
you didn’t have to buy my tickets
I promised I would I don’t like breaking my promises
Tess has no retort for that. She sends Paige a half-hearted thank you, not expecting a response, and powers off her phone.
NOVEMBER 22, 2023
Tess spends the entire plane ride nauseous as hell. She dreads her reunion with Paige, knowing that seeing each other will only hurt them more. She’s not even sure if fixing them is possible, but she knows she’ll have to give it a shot. She gets four days with Paige. That should be enough to smooth things over. A part of her knows Paige won’t bend as easily as Kamilla, Bree, and her parents did. Paige was so understanding, but she didn’t take any of Tess’s bullshit. Tess might be making amends until Christmas, if they last that long.
She finishes off the rest of the ginger ale she’d asked the flight attendant for. It does little to soothe the nausea. Guilt usually isn’t something that can be cured with a drink, alcoholic or otherwise. Guilt is one of the things you can’t run away from, even for someone as good at running away as Tess is.
The seatbelt light flicks on as the plane begins its descent onto the Minnesotan soil. Tess’s anxiety returns tenfold. It feels as though time is moving slowly. The plane lands. It idles for a moment, then everyone is standing and reaching for their carry-on. Tess has hers in hand and is walking down the aisle as soon as they click open. It doesn’t take her long to locate her suitcase at baggage claim. Then, she’s back in the crowd, eyes scanning the airport for any sign of Paige. There wasn’t a message on her phone, but she was holding out a little bit of hope.
Instead of Paige, she spots a tall man holding a sign with her name written on it. Tess’s heart all but falls out of her ass as she walks towards him. The realization that Paige didn’t come to pick her up shouldn’t hurt her as much as it does. She should have expected as much. But seeing it brings on a fresh wave of pain that she just wasn’t ready for. The man recognizes her, lowering the sign with a beaming smile, and he reaches out for a hearty handshake. “Hey Tess! I’m Bob, Paige’s dad. It’s so good to finally meet you.”
Tess shakes his hand, smiling at him, and hoping that it’s convincing enough. “Likewise, Mr. Bueckers,” she says. Her voice doesn’t falter, but she can tell she’s about to crash out. She takes a deep breath as Paige’s dad waves his hand.
“Bob is fine,” he corrects her. “C’mon – my truck’s this way. Paige went out to pick up some last minute things for you. She should be back at the house by the time we get there.”
Tess hides her grimace. She’s not fully confident that Paige actually did that, but she’s not going to voice that thought to her dad. The simplest truth of the matter is that Paige just didn’t want to pick her up. Tess can’t blame her.
Once they’re loaded up, Bob makes small talk that Tess tries her best to contribute to. He doesn’t seem to think anything’s wrong, so Tess surmises she must be doing a pretty good job. As he speaks, her mind keeps drifting back to Paige, feeling a guilt and shame so strong that she’s unsure if she’ll be able to feel anything remotely positive ever again. How do you hurt Paige Bueckers? Her heart is made of solid gold, but perhaps the issue is her heart is a few sizes too big for her body. Her heart is bigger than Tess herself; Paige gave her everything, no strings attached, and Tess crushed it into small pieces and stomped it out.
That thought alone makes her nauseous all over again. She was so worried that Paige would hurt her, not the other way around. Life has a funny way of biting you in the ass. Tess wonders how socially acceptable it would be to jump out of your fake girlfriend’s dad’s moving vehicle and leave yourself for roadkill. She determines that it’s probably not very acceptable, so she tries her best to get her shit together while she still can.
The Bueckers’ live in a quaint little townhouse, two-storied and a light beige in color. Bob pulls into the driveway next to two SUV Jeeps – one black and one red. He grins at her, nudging her shoulder. “Paige’s home. You excited?”
Tess almost laughs in disbelief. “Yeah,” she lies. “Haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Well, let’s not keep her waiting.”
Tess will admit she sounds like a broken record, but she genuinely thinks she’s about to throw up all over the Bueckers’ driveway. She adjusts her backpack over her shoulder and pulls her suitcase out of Bob’s truck bed, glances at the door, and takes a deep breath as she follows the older man inside.
Inside, it’s warm and cozy. Tess can distinctly make out the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg. Bob calls out for his wife, who calls back with a cheerful, “In the kitchen!” Paige’s step mom is a tall woman, wearing a festive pair of leggings and an apron over her shirt. She slides off her oven mitts, having just pulled out a pie.
“This is Tess,” Bob states. “Tess, this is my wife, Moe.”
In lieu of a handshake, Moe pulls her in for a gentle hug. “So nice to finally meet you,” she says genuinely. “Paige talks about you all the time.”
Tess’s heart falls out of her ass and she chuckles worriedly, giving the older woman a squeeze. “Good things, I hope.”
“Nothing but,” Moe confirms. “It’s like y’all been together forever. Tess this, Tess that. It’s kind of sickening.”
At Moe’s brutal honesty, Tess laughs, the first genuine one in almost five months. It wasn’t even that funny, but Tess is so far off the deep end that anything helps. “My mom would say the same about me,” she says.
Moe lights up with laughter of her own, grinning widely at Tess. “Alright, I’m sure you’re tired from your trip here. Paige is upstairs. She can help you get settled in. We don’t have a guest room, so you’ll have to bunk with her. No funny business, okay?”
Tess smiles to hide the way her heart stops. She’s shared a room with Paige before. Granted, they had two separate beds, but the room sharing is not an issue. The issue is in how Paige will probably suffocate her with a pillow once night falls. “No funny business,” she agrees, and with one last smile, Moe directs her to the stairs and informs her that Paige’s room is the first on the left.
Tess takes a deep breath before she heads upstairs. She’s been through worse. She tore her ACL, underwent surgery, and crashed out so bad she almost killed herself. She doesn’t bother reminding herself she’s been crashing out for the past five months and she’s in no better shape, but that’s not the point. She can handle Paige. She can say she’s sorry. She knocks on Paige’s door and she hears some shuffling inside before the door opens, and after five months, she comes face to face with Paige once more.
The shift in Paige’s demeanor is noticeably different. Her jaw is tight, her blue eyes unusually dull. Even her body language is far more reserved. She leans against the doorframe, one hand on the doorknob, and her mouth pulls into a natural frown. “Hey,” she says, surprising Tess. Her words lack any bite, but it hurts because her words lack much of anything. If the both of them were five months younger, Tess is sure that Paige would have pulled her into a hug by now, probably whispered an excited, “Hey, ma,” or pressed an affectionate, “Missed you,” into her shoulder.
But they’re five months too late, and all Tess can do is wince as she responds with a quiet, “Hi.”
Paige glances at her, her eyes dismissive and disappointed. She sighs, taking a step back and allowing Tess inside. “You can just leave your stuff over there,” she says, pointing next to her desk where a space has been cleared. Tess does as she instructs, depositing her suitcase and throwing her backpack haphazardly on top. Wordlessly, Paige crawls back into bed, sitting so close to the edge that there’s more bed than girl, which is usually a difficult task for a six foot athlete.
“Is this what we’re doing?” Tess asks softly, her fingers shaking, and she knows she has no business asking Paige that when she was the one who fucked them up.
Paige scoffs, looking up at her again. Her gaze hardens, her lip curling into an unfamiliar scowl. “You had five months to figure that out,” she says harshly. “Don’t ask me shit now.”
Tess laughs weakly, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Okay,” she concedes.
“Something funny?” Paige asks.
Tess averts her eyes. “...No,” she says after a beat. Paige hums, an annoyed noise deep in the back of her throat.
Tess isn’t sure what to do. She’s standing in the middle of Paige’s childhood bedroom, feeling like every bit the fool she undoubtedly looks like. She can’t sit next to Paige, not when she can feel the anger radiating off her in quiet waves. She can’t go back downstairs with Drew and Paige’s parents. They’d ask why they weren’t together, and Tess isn’t sure how much more lying she can take. Paige glances back up from her phone, scanning Tess’s features, and she stands with a huff. “You take the bed,” she says. “I’m gonna get stuff to sleep on the floor.”
“You don’t–”
“Stop,” Paige says instantly, her voice breaking. Tess shuts her mouth, staring at Paige, and she looks agonized. Her eyes are glassy, face pinched, and Tess feels like a jackass all over again. “Just…stop, okay? Stop arguing. I’m gonna get a blanket and the air mattress and I’m gonna sleep on the fuckin’ floor ‘cause I can’t share a bed with you tonight and pretend like everything’s okay. It’ll probably be another five months before I get an apology from you, but that’s okay, right?” She laughs humorlessly, turning on her heel, walking backwards to the door. “S’okay. I guess I was stupid to think anything else. I was right. Tess Kennedy’s too fuckin’ afraid to get close, and when she’s scared, she goes back to what she’s used to. And apparently that’s bein’ an asshole to everyone around her. You don’t get to do that shit with me. Not today.”
Paige slams the door behind her, and all Tess can do is stare at where she stood in disbelief.
Dinner that night is a torrid affair.
Bob and Moe seem to sense that something’s off with Tess and Paige. Out of politeness, they don’t mention anything, but Drew seems none the wiser to the tension at the table. He rambles excitedly about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and how excited he is for Christmas. Tess tries to listen to him, she truly does, but she can’t focus on anything but the argument that she and Paige had. Honestly, a better descriptor is just Paige yelling at her and Tess taking it, but that’s neither here nor there.
Tess barely has an appetite, but she shovels her food in her mouth anyways, not wanting to be rude. Paige hasn’t said a single word to her since Moe came upstairs to fetch them for dinner. Even then, Paige hadn’t so much as looked at her. The worst part about it is that Tess understands why. Paige is genuinely a better person than she is. If someone treated her like Tess treated her, Tess would have made it everyone else’s problem immediately. If they thought her post-injury crash out was bad, then they’d be unprepared for the post-ghost crash out.
Bob distracts her from her racing thoughts as he clears her throat. “So, Tess…” She looks up, resembling a deer caught in headlights. “How’s physical therapy going? I saw you rehabbed with a WNBA team. That’s really exciting!”
“Oh,” she says, pushing around a piece of chicken on her plate. “Um, it was really good. Felt like I progressed a lot with Terri. I work with the team trainer now since I’m back in Columbia. He gets the job done, but I do miss the Liberty, you know?” She chuckles softy, willing her nerves to dissipate.
“I bet,” Bob agrees. “When do you get to play again?”
“I should be cleared by March,” she says hopefully. “Just in time for the last March Madness games. Provided we get invited or win the SEC championship. LSU is really strong, so…gotta take it game by game.”
“Smart,” Moe states. “Never count your eggs before they hatch, right?”
Tess nods. The table falls into a tense silence, only the sound of forks scraping against plates filling the room. Paige suddenly huffs. She stands up with her plate, her chair making an awful noise against the floor as she pushes it back under the table. “I needa take a shower,” she says, not waiting for a response. She walks into the kitchen to clear off her plate, walking back through the dining room with a frustrated expression on her face as she rushes upstairs.
Bob and Moe share a concerned glance. It’s Drew who breaks the silence when he asks, “What crawled up her butt and died?” Moe is quick to reprimand him, although it seems like her heart’s not really in it.
Tess clears her throat and stands, too. “Um, dinner was delicious, Moe, thank you. I should uh…probably go check on her.” Moe thanks her quietly. Tess washes her plate quickly, placing it in the strainer to dry off, and she heads upstairs after Paige.
Paige’s door is wide open and Tess walks in cautiously. The blonde rifles through her drawers, pulling a pair of shorts and a tank top out. She’s still pissed. Never in the seven months that Tess has known her has she ever seen Paige be this angry. When Paige turns, seeing Tess behind her, she clenches her jaw and walks out wordlessly. Tess feels her heart drop as she listens to the bathroom door close.
Her chest tightens. She feels like she could cry even though it would do nothing for her. Paige is the only one with the right to be upset. Instead, Tess takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a few, calming moments before she moves to her suitcase and pulls out sleepwear. She scrolls on her phone while she waits for Paige to get out of the shower, and when she finally does, Tess averts her eyes as she stands. Paige doesn’t say anything to her as Tess makes her way into the bathroom.
The water is scalding hot. It makes Tess feel a little more centered, but it does little to wash away the grief and the shame. She tries not to think about it as she cleans herself quickly. She dries off, redresses herself, and when she walks back into Paige’s room, she’s already curled up on the air mattress and is scrolling through her phone. Tess glances at her, frowning, and shoves her dirty laundry into a separate compartment in her suitcase before sliding into Paige’s bed.
Her pillow smells like her. Tess wouldn’t expect anything else, but it makes her feel closer to Paige despite the literal and metaphorical distance between them. Her purple comforter is soft. When Tess looks around, she notes the various posters of NBA greats – Kyrie, Lebron. Diana Taurasi and Sue Bird are also there. Basketball is Paige’s life, her entire reason for breathing. When they lost to South Carolina in the NCAA tournament, Paige was distraught, obviously. But that anger and sadness only pales to what Tess observes in her now as she tries to pretend she can’t hear the way Tess breathes next to her.
Tess takes a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling. “Paige,” she says into the darkness of the room.
Paige doesn’t respond. For a brief moment, Tess wonders if she fell asleep, but she knows better. Paige is breathing too fast to be asleep, coming in uneven bursts. Then, Tess thinks she’s just ignoring her. Then, Paige surprises her. “What do you want, Tess?” she asks, her voice breaking.
“I’m sorry,” Tess says without hesitation.
She hears Paige laugh, but there’s no enjoyment in it. “Are you?”
“I am,” she says. They’re both quiet for a moment. She hears Paige sniffle and her heart breaks all over again. “I mean it. I’m sorry, Paige, I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I shouldn’t have pushed you away when all you’ve done was care for me. I’m sorry for making you apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong. This is all on me and I could sit here and apologize for the rest of my life and it would never be enough.”
Paige shifts on the air mattress. Tess cocks her head, glancing down, and Paige is already staring at her. The moonlight streaming through her windows reflects off of her. Tess could paint her face by memory. She knows exactly what she looks like, where every single freckle or blemish or crease exists. She knows the exact shade of her eyes, the degree at which her nose upturns slightly, the way her nostrils flare when she’s annoyed. Tess could describe Paige Bueckers in such great detail that a blind person could recreate her visage. Until now, Tess has never seen Paige this way. Her lips are pulled in a constant frown, her jaw tight, her eyes a few shades grayer. Tess never wants to see Paige look this desolate, let alone because of her.
“Sorry doesn’t fix anything,” Paige says after a few agonizing moments. Tess deflates. “Sorry doesn’t fix the five months I spent losin’ my mind, wondering what I did wrong.” She studies Tess’s face once more, her lips pursing and her gaze hardening. Paige pulls her blanket up to her chin, flipping on her opposite side, putting her back to Tess.
“How do I fix us?” Tess asks, her voice nearly a broken whisper.
Paige lies unmoving on the air mattress. Tess should know better than to expect a response. But when Paige admits, “I don’t know,” Tess thinks she would have preferred the silence.
NOVEMBER 23, 2023
Thanksgiving is a terrible holiday.
Conceptually and historically, it leaves a lot to be desired, though she can understand how many American families would enjoy getting together in one place, eating a huge dinner, and watching sports. It’s supposed to be a day where everyone can come together and rejoice, tell each other what they’re thankful for and all that sappy shit, but Tess never bought into it. Many of her teammates would complain about going home for Thanksgiving and having to listen to an uncle or two rant about women or politics or whatever the fuck – it always ruined the mood. Tess never thought that those uncomfortable Thanksgivings would be something she had to be subjected to.
When she wakes up in the morning, Paige isn’t in her room. When she goes to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and do her morning routine, Paige isn’t there, either. And when Tess walks downstairs into a flurry of early morning chaos – Moe and Bob rushing around the kitchen and preparing dinner, Drew tidying up the living room – Paige isn’t there either.
“Morning, Tess!” Bob greets happily, grinning at her from where he’s cheffing up the turkey. She returns his greeting, though it’s a little half-hearted. “Paige went for a run. She should be back soon.”
“You guys need a hand?” she asks instead, wanting to be useful. Moe and Bob have welcomed her into their home. The last thing she wants to do is be an ungrateful guest, especially when their daughter hates her guts. Tess is going to make an honest effort to get back into Paige’s good graces. Even if she never forgives her, she’s going to make it up to her. That much she could promise.
“If you could help Drew clean the living room, that’d be great,” Moe says. “There’s too many people in the kitchen right now.” She shoots Bob a knowing glance and he laughs, raising his hands defensively.
Tess smirks wryly and makes her way into the living room where Drew is dutifully dusting off the coffee table. He wastes no time before he puts her to work, directing her to the vacuum cleaner (Tess just gets the impression he didn’t want to vacuum), and together, they get the living room all cleaned up for the guests. They tackle the dining room next. Drew and Tess return to the living room once they finish, sitting on the count and awaiting Moe’s next instructions. Soon, Paige returns from her run – Tess knows she no longer has the right, but she can’t help but look at Paige as she walks in. She’s dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top. It’s unfair how pretty she is, shiny with sweat and flushed. Tess has to avert her eyes. Paige only greets her parents before rushing upstairs. Tess hears the shower click on.
“What’s wrong with you and Paigey?” Drew whispers to her.
Tess glances at him, a somber smile on her face. “I messed up and hurt her feelings,” she tells him honestly. “She’s pretty upset with me.”
Drew looks at her curiously. “Why’d you do that?”
His blunt question makes Tess chuckle. That’s a question she’s been asking herself, too. “I like her a lot,” she admits, the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. It feels like a weight is lifted off her shoulders, though she’s still crushed under everything else. “I like her a lot and it makes me do stupid stuff.”
“Mom says you should never hurt the people you love,” Drew says smartly.
“She’s right.”
“Did you say sorry? And did you bring her a cookie? Cookies always help.”
“Do they?”
Drew nods, humming as he turns on the TV. He scrolls through the channels until he settles on some cartoon Tess has never heard of. “Paigey likes cookies,” he states. “Chocolate chip ones. They’re her favorites. She always says you can’t be sad when you’re eating a cookie.”
At that, Tess can’t help but laugh. “That does sound like something she’d say,” she concedes. The taps on the armrest of the couch mindlessly, thinking. She turns to Drew. “Do you think your mom would let us bake her some? Right now?”
Drew turns off the TV without another word, standing as he calls, “Mom!” Tess stands to follow him, sighing. She did not expect him to move so fast. The kitchen is much cleaner than it was earlier – Bob went outside to put the turkey on the smoker and Moe remained, preparing the roux for the mac and cheese. Moe hums as Drew walks in. “Can me and Tess bake some cookies right now?” Moe looks as though she’s about to protest, but Drew beats her to the chase. “For Paigey. She’s sad.”
Moe softens, looking over at Tess, who flushes under her stare. She hopes her face looks as apologetic as she feels. Moe sighs. “Yes, make it quick. I’ll need the oven soon.”
Drew pumps his fist in the air as he rifles through the cabinets, looking for the ingredients. Tess lets him take the lead on most of that as she leans against the counter. She feels Moe’s eyes on her again, and she turns her head, meeting her gaze. “Everything okay?” Moe asks knowingly, her voice quiet.
Tess smiles sadly. “I hope they will be,” she says. Moe raises a brow, clearly expecting more, and Tess swallows. “She’s not happy with me. I hurt her, and honestly, I’d be pissed at me, too.” She picks a loose thread on her shirt. “I’m gonna make it up to her. I just…” Tess sighs. “She’s my first…girlfriend. My first anything, really – I don’t know what I’m doing. But she makes me want to try and that’s scary. I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.”
Moe is silent for a moment, thinking about her next words. “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad,” she notes. Tess almost laughs because she truly has no idea. “I’m not gonna lecture you. But, you know, Paige is my kid. No matter how old she is. She has so much love to give. Don’t take advantage of that. One day, she’s not going to wait around.”
Tess nods. “I know,” she says. She opens her mouth, trying to find more to say, but her words fail her. Moe gives her another knowing look, her lips curling into a smile. Drew returns with flour, sugar, and all of the other supplies and he and Tess immediately get to work. He’s a little messy with the flour and definitely steals most of the chocolate chips, but he’s a joy to spend time with. Drew reminds Tess so much of Paige – that thought alone makes her queasy again. She has to tell herself that they’ll be okay. Delusion and manifestation are a thin line, right? Paige isn’t the kind of girl to hold onto grudges, even if she should.
Once the cookies are out of the oven, Drew helps her select the best looking ones to take to Paige. He salutes her like she’s going off to war and Tess can’t help but laugh at him, feeling strangely like she is about to walk across a field of landmines. She takes a deep, stabilizing breath before she walks up the stairs, plate of cookies in hand. She knocks on Paige’s door and opens it as soon as she hears Paige call out, “Come in!”
Paige is reclining on her bed, phone in hand and freshly showered. She looks up as Tess walks in with a meek smile, holding out the plate. “Are those…?”
Tess exhales deeply, taking Paige’s curiosity as a sign to move closer. “Yeah. Me and Drew made them. He said you can’t be sad when you’re eating a cookie.” That’s enough to make Paige crack the slightest of smiles. Tess gives her the plate, explaining, “They’re fresh out, so–” but Paige is already reaching for the one on top, dropping it with a yelp of pain. They stare at each other as Paige sucks on her finger before they break out into laughter. It’s slightly awkward, but it’s relieving, and the situation isn’t funny at all but everything has sucked for five months so it’s all just stupid. “Sorry. I promise I’m not trying to kill you.”
Paige chuckles again, resting the plate on her lap and letting the cookies cool off. She shuts off her phone, glancing back up at Tess. Her expression is guarded, like she still doesn’t fully trust Tess, but there’s a new openness to her.
“Can we–”
“Do you–”
They both speak at the same time and Tess laughs as Paige scratches the back of her neck. “Come sit?” Paige requests softly. Tess studies her features, the earnestness in her eyes, and she nods shyly as she rounds the bed to sit on Paige’s left side. She makes sure to leave a bit of space in between them, unsure of where their boundaries lay after all this time. “You first?”
Tess nods again, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. “I know you said sorry doesn’t fix anything, but I want to try, if you’ll hear me out?” Paige stares at her for a long while before tilting her head, giving her the all-clear. Paige reaches for a cookie again, checking the heat, before lifting it to her mouth and humming at the flavor. “I was spiraling again,” Tess says slowly, once she’s found the words. “Overthinking every single thing. I was confused. There was so much going on in my head and it was awful because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I know the solution to it – it’s too risky, and I can’t lose everything I have. Not again. I shouldn’t have shut you out, but isolating myself is the only way I know how to deal with my shit. I thought I was protecting myself, protecting you, but I only made it worse.”
Paige doesn’t say anything, still chewing, and Tess keeps rambling. “I’m so sorry. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it. I hurt you and I keep hurting you and I don’t – I don’t know why or how but I just do and you don’t deserve that, Paige. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for this, but if you never forgive me, I wouldn’t even be able to be mad about it.” Tess laughs humorlessly. “Whatever it takes, I’ll make it up to you, that much I can promise. Just…please, give me another chance?”
Paige gazes at her, her eyes wide and seeking. Tess has to fight every instinct to turn away, to break eye contact, but she needs Paige to know that she’s serious. Finally, Paige relents, a sort of somber half-smile quirking on her lips. “I’on like being mad at you,” she admits. “Arguing. Ignoring you. But…I just – we agreed to communicate. You promised me that you wouldn’t do this by yourself. I’m upset you broke that promise and our agreement, but I understand why you did it. Just wish you hadn’t ‘cause we coulda fixed whatever it was. Easily. I woulda made time for you; shit, I did make time for you, and you threw it back in my face. That shit hurt.”
“I know,” Tess whispers. “I would feel the same way, too. You have every right to be upset with me. I’d be mad if you weren’t mad at me.”
That makes Paige laugh. It’s full, from the belly, and all of the tension in the room disappears. Paige is quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “I’on know about forgiveness right now,” she says honestly. “We gotta work towards that. But I don’t wanna be mad anymore.”
“That’s good enough for me,” Tess says softly. Paige smiles at her, her knuckles brushing her hand, the touch electrifying. The relief is nearly overwhelming. Things aren’t back to normal, but they’re as close to normal as they’ve been in five months, and that’s all Tess can really ask for. She then remembers where they are and exhales deeply. “I, uh, I think Moe might need a hand in the kitchen.”
Paige refocuses. She clears her throat. “Yeah. Okay.” They both stand, Paige holding onto the plate of cookies, but before they can leave the room, Tess stops her with a hand to her wrist.
“Thank you,” she says quietly, her throat bobbing. “For hearing me out.”
Paige’s smile grows, turning into something tender despite the reservation in her eyes. “Of course.” Then, Tess can almost feel the shift in the air as Paige’s eyes flash with mischievousness. “Just don’t do that shit again or you can go spend Thanksgiving with the Ionescus.”
“Paige Madison!”
After their much needed conversation, the energy in the house almost immediately changes. Tess feels like her breathing comes a little easier since she doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around Paige. When they made it back downstairs, Moe instantly put them to work in the kitchen. Both Moe and Paige pretended to not see Drew and Tess’s excited handshake to celebrate the fact that the cookies worked. Tess and Paige sat side by side as they peeled the potatoes for the mashed potatoes, quietly catching up on all of the things they’d missed over the last five months. Tess thought that revisiting those memories would hurt a little more, but being honest with Paige helped a lot. They’re working on moving past this, and while Tess does have much to atone for, she fully intends to put in the work to earn back Paige’s trust.
As soon as the potatoes are peeled and ready, there’s a knock at the front door. Moe leaves to get it and returns with a family of four in tow. Tess doesn’t recognize them, but when Paige goes in to hug each of them, she assumes it must be her mom’s side.
“Tess, this is my mom, Amy, and my step-dad Brian,” Paige states, some lingering fondness in her tone. Tess grins as she shakes their hands, greeting them. “And these idiots are Lauren and Ryan.” Immediately, Lauren and Ryan start talking over each other as they drag Paige, but the taller blonde struggles to hide her amusement as they squabble. “Guys, this is Tess.”
“Your girlfriend,” Ryan drawls, cooing dramatically. Lauren snickers.
Paige, to her credit, doesn’t react much, but a light flush settles on her cheeks as she smiles at them. “Yes, my girlfriend,” she says. “Where’s yours?”
Lauren hisses, murmuring ouch under her breath, while Ryan rolls his eyes and Tess giggles. “Not fair. You guys U-Hauled.”
“I actually specifically told her I’d do anything but U-Haul,” Tess cuts in. Paige scoffs, but grins. “It’s nice to meet you both.”
Moe then kicks the four of them out of her kitchen and Paige drags them into the living room where Drew is watching TV. Everyone disperses, settling in on the couch or the futon. Tess hardly has the time to make a decision before Paige takes a seat in an armchair, pulling Tess haphazardly into her lap. Her siblings don’t pay any attention to them as they argue over the remote, trying to set up the Playstation. Tess glances at Paige with an amused look, though also slightly confused. She’d thought she would have needed to grovel a little more before Paige would want to be close to her, but she’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Problem?” Paige asks nonchalantly, adjusting Tess so she sits a little more comfortably.
“Nope,” she says. She ignores the slight crack in her voice, but Paige doesn’t have the same plan to. Paige grins smugly and Tess rolls her eyes. “You’re insufferable.” Paige merely pinches her hip in response. Once Paige’s siblings have the Playstation set up, the five of them take turns split-screening Fortnite, integrating Tess almost seamlessly into their dynamic. While two play, the other three chat and play cards. Paige declared early on that Monopoly was firmly off the table, not wanting to sit through Lauren and Ryan’s inevitable argument when one or the other went bankrupt.
Tess settles in easily with Paige and her siblings. She finds herself smiling more than she thought she would, pressed against Paige’s body, and maybe she’ll admit that Thanksgiving isn’t so bad when you have good company. She feels lighter than she has in five months and she couldn’t think of any way today could get any better.
Paige’s hand rests low on Tess’s waist, splaying across her stomach as she pulls her in closer, chin hooked over her shoulder and grinning at the sight of all of her siblings together. Tentatively, Tess rests her hand over Paige’s, relaxing when Paige gives her a gentle squeeze. “You happy?” Tess asks softly, tilting her head so Paige can hear her. She can feel the smile that Paige presses into her neck.
Paige’s voice is muffled against her skin, but she shivers at the way it reverberates through her entire body. “Yeah. I am,” she admits, her tone full of affection. Her grip tightens on Tess ever so slightly. “I missed you.”
Tess’s throat bobs with emotion, feeling her chest tighten. “I missed you, too,” she says honestly. And when Paige’s lips brush against her skin, almost imperceptibly, Tess gets the feeling that they’re a lot closer to being okay than she’d thought.
Thanksgiving dinner that night goes a lot better than the night before. The chatter is lively, food is passed around, and they all link hands in prayer before digging in. Everything is delicious. Tess would have gone for seconds if she wasn’t trying to save space for pie. Even after their plates are cleared and Tess has to unbutton her jeans just so she can sit comfortably, the nine of them remain at the table, sharing stories and jokes. Paige’s hand finds her knee under the table, almost unconsciously, and Tess’s subsequent smile is real. She should be alarmed by how well she assimilates into Paige’s family, by how well she plays the part of girlfriend. She should be alarmed by the fact she’s not pretending at all, that this is just the soft, simpering idiot that Paige turns her into with the simplest of smiles.
When everything is said and done that night, Tess is crawling back into Paige’s bed, the smell of her shampoo and perfume still fresh on the sheets. The air mattress has been lying untouched since the night before. Tess is struck with the realization that she doesn't want Paige sleeping on the floor tonight, but she can’t think too much about that because Paige is walking back into her room, her hair damp over her shoulder as she squeezes the excess water out with a towel. They share a soft smile. Tess still thinks that Paige is the prettiest woman she’s ever laid eyes on.
“So,” Tess begins hesitantly, folding her hands over her stomach as she reclines back on the bed. Paige hums, urging her to continue, running her brush through her hair. “I heard through the grapevine that there’s a Thanksgiving tradition where you tell your friends and family what you’re thankful for.”
“Yeah?” Paige asks, an inquisitive noise building in the back of her throat.
“Mhm,” Tess responds, glancing at Paige, who meets her eyes through the mirror on the wall. Her lips quirk up into a smile. “Am I allowed to say I’m thankful for you?”
“Depends,” Paige teases. She leaves her hairbrush on her dresser and takes a seat at the foot of her bed, pulling on a pair of socks to ward off the late-November Minnesotan chill. “Do you mean it?”
“I do,” Tess says, completely honest. Paige’s eyes scan her features for any hint of a falsehood. Finding nothing but earnestness, her smile grows, an almost bashful flush settling on her cheeks. “I’m serious. I know I’ve been a jerk–”
“Not the word I’d use–”
“Shh,” Tess laughs. Paige raises her hands in defense. “But I’m glad you’re here, that you’re in my life. You didn’t save me, but you made it easier to want to save myself. I don’t make it easy for you, but… I don’t know – you take care of me. I just hope I can repay the favor one day.”
“S’not transactional,” Paige states. “Don’t need you to ‘repay’ me. Just want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
Paige smiles at her, a lone dimple popping out, and Tess truly can’t help the way her heart beats a little faster. “Good.”
There’s something about the way Paige lingers, her gaze expressive. “Paige,” Tess says, almost nervously. She hums, leaning back slightly, awaiting her question. Tess clears her throat. “Don’t sleep on that fucking air mattress.”
Paige’s eyes are bright, alert, searching Tess’s expression for any sign of a sike! moment. “Are you sure?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “Don’t wanna–”
“Paige,” Tess says again. “Please?”
And then Paige is nodding, a smile overtaking her features again. She crawls gingerly over Tess’s legs, slipping under the purple comforter next to her. They’re both on their backs, nearly elbow to elbow, and the space between them feels electric. Sure, they shared a room on their Bose trip, but they remained in their separate beds. This is the closest they’ve been in five months, and Tess is certain that every cell in her body is simultaneously combusting.
“Tess,” Paige says.
“Yes, Paige?”
“Am I allowed to say I’m thankful for you too?” she murmurs.
Tess’s chest loosens. “Depends.” She cranes her neck to glance at Paige, but the blonde is already staring at her, her gaze dark and beseeching. “Do you mean it?”
Instead of a verbal response, Paige moves, one hand holding herself up and the other cupping Tess’s jaw, kissing her with a soft intensity that pulls the breath directly from her lungs. Tess sighs, tangling her fingers in Paige’s hair, letting Paige guide her as she liked for better access. Paige pulls back, her nose brushing against Tess’s cheek as she presses her lips to the slope of her jaw, the spot under her ear that makes her shiver, the base of her throat, her pulse point. Tess can feel Paige’s smirk as she lingers, her lips sweeping across her skin. “Your heart’s beating really fast,” she murmurs.
Tess scoffs, blushing fiercely. “I wonder why,” she retorts.
“I think I got a few ideas,” Paige says smugly.
“Think less,” Tess says breathlessly, pulling Paige back to her lips, halting whatever stupid comment she was about to make. Paige grins insufferably, her kiss long and slow. Tess feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into the mattress, consumed by all things Paige Bueckers; the scent of her perfume, the silk of her pillowcase, the warmth of her hand on her skin, the push and pull of her lips.
When they finally pull apart, Paige’s lips ghost across her temple as she murmurs, “Happy Thanksgiving, baby.”
The nickname does little to slow the beating of her heart. Tess doesn’t care. “Happy Thanksgiving, Paige.”
DECEMBER 2023
are you still interested in christmas-ing with the kennedys?
Wouldn’t miss it for the world
okay let me email you the tickets
[Paige loved “let me email you the tickets”] You gonna pick me up from the airport?
i could be persuaded
Say less [1 Attachment]
that’s a picture of dunkin donuts
It is Which is what I will buy for you if you pick me up from the airport
you drive a hard bargain 🤔 can you upsell?
I mean Coffee, a bacon egg & cheese, and Paige Bueckers in your passenger seat Are you not convinced?
not really
Bruh Tess PLEASE do not make me take an Uber
you are such a baby 😭 don’t worry i’ll be there with a sign that says “welcome back from jail”
As long as you’re there I don’t care what’s on the sign
ok smooth oh also so what are your thoughts on spending like a day with my family then we go into the city for like the new year’s eve stuff in times square
Alone? 🫦
oh my god ok so you can actually walk from the airport
I’m kidding I’d be down for that Whatever you want
[Tess loved “Whatever you want”] sounds good see you soon
Can’t wait 🫶
DECEMBER 29, 2023
Tess is nervous.
She isn’t exactly sure why. She’s been in this situation time and time again, waiting at the airport for someone to pick her up or waiting to pick someone else up. It’s extremely busy, an unfortunate repercussion of the fact that it was that limitless space between Christmas and New Year’s where time didn’t exactly exist and people were flying in and out of New York constantly. Perhaps the difference is just because it’s her picking up Paige when it’s usually the other way around. One of the themes she’s begun to notice is that simply doing things with Paige just makes them feel different. She can’t exactly explain it, but Paige has this way of helping her see and experience things through a new lens.
The bustle of the airport makes her stand on edge. She’s never been a huge fan of the crowds, the constant noise, which is probably a strange thing to say as an athlete. She’s usually able to lock in and drown it out, but she’s anxious for other reasons. Paige will be walking through those gates in a few short minutes. Tess is excited to see her – that’s not the issue. She’s dreading the fact that as soon as she and Paige reunite, half of the airport will want to shove their phones in their faces. Again, the lack of fan privacy is probably something she should be used to, although she’d spend her life arguing that the lack of autonomy and respect isn’t something that should be normalized.
But that’s neither here nor there. The PA overhead clicks on. Tess can barely hear the robotic voice over the noise of the crowd as it announces the landing of Paige’s flight. Just a little longer, Tess reminds herself, then we can go home. The time seems to pass slowly, but soon enough, Tess can see a new crowd forming, emerging from the gate, and she feels her heart beat just a little faster at the implication.
Paige stands tall in the crowd, her blonde hair sticking out like a beacon. She’s dressed in an all black Nike tracksuit with the Husky logo emblazoned on the chest, although she holds a hoodie close to her chest as if she’d gotten hot on the plane but prepared well for the New York chill. Tess makes her way through the crowd in Paige’s direction. It doesn’t take long for Paige to find her, a beaming smile growing on her face, and Paige falls into her with evident relief.
Tess will never get tired of the way Paige hugs her. She melts completely, her body enveloping hers, her head always falling close to her neck. Paige’s body is firm, tangible, and Tess sighs at the weight and pressure of their embrace. “Merry Christmas, ma,” Paige murmurs in her ear, squeezing her tight.
“Merry Christmas, Paige,” Tess responds. “And Happy New Year’s, I guess.”
Paige’s shoulders shake with laughter as she pulls back, dropping an affectionate kiss to Tess’s forehead before intertwining their fingers. “It ain’t New Year’s yet,” she says.
“Close enough?”
“Nah.” Paige shakes her head, looking all too mischievous. “S’not New Year’s until I get my kiss at midnight.”
Tess rolls her eyes, but a flush settles over her cheeks. “You’re incorrigible.”
“C’mon – look at you!” Paige gestures with her free hand as she leads the two of them over to baggage claim. “I’m not a monster, I’m just a man with needs,” she sings, terribly off-key, which amuses Tess.
“Alright, Daniel Caesar,” she goads, smirking. “Let’s get you out of here before people charge you with aural assault.”
Paige suddenly looks affronted, blue eyes wide and indignant. “Oral?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.
Tess sighs, shaking her head. “No, baby, aural. A-U-R-A-L. As in hearing.”
Paige scoffs. “Jus’ say that, then.” Then, her head snaps back quickly, glancing at Tess with mock-offense. “Wait, that wasn’t nice!” Finally, her suitcase rolls around and she hauls it off the conveyor with ease.
Tess snickers, patting Paige on the shoulder. “Remember what I told you? I gotta keep your ego at a reasonable level.” With their hands still linked, Tess leads them through the crowded airport quickly, eager to get home and away from all of these people.
“My girl so mean,” Paige huffs dramatically. “Nothin’ wrong with my ego. You’re just a D1 hater.”
Tess smiles. “Are you finished?”
“No!”
Paige rambles the entire drive back to Tess’s house, but she at least stays true to her promise and buys Tess brunch at Dunkin – not that Tess expected anything less from her. In the short eight months they’ve been friends, Paige has proven herself to be very intentional in her words and actions. She doesn’t make a habit of saying things she doesn’t mean. Excluding their banter or when they’re teasing one another, Paige is unfathomably genuine. Promises and intent are incredibly important to her; Tess found that out the hard way back in November, but she’s keen on keeping that an isolated incident.
When Tess parks on the curb behind her parents’ car, she cuts the engine, but makes no effort to get out. Paige glances at her with a concerned expression, her thumb brushing against her knuckles gently. “So, my parents might be…a lot,” she says hurriedly, meeting Paige’s eyes. “Just let me know if it gets overwhelming or something, okay?”
Paige smiles reassuringly at her. “Don’t worry, ma. We got this in the bag.”
Tess returns the smile, though it’s a little weaker. “I’m serious. My dad likes you but you might get the shovel talk.”
“I’m serious, too.” Paige lifts their hands, pressing her lips to Tess’s palm. There’s no use hiding the infectious blush, so she just tries to not look as down bad as she feels. “I can handle it.”
Tess sighs, conceding, and she collects her belongings and leads Paige into her house. Her parents are sitting in the living room watching a movie when they walk in. Almost instantly, they turn to stare down Paige, who, to her credit, doesn’t falter, instead offering a polite smile.
“Hey, guys,” Tess says awkwardly. “This is Paige. Paige, these are my parents, Alessandra and Mateo.”
Her parents stand to shake her hand. “Great to finally meet you both,” Paige says charismatically, not wincing under her father’s handshake, which earns her a gleam of silent approval. Point, Paige. Her parents echo the sentiment, flashing relaxed smiles, and Tess finally chills out.
“Are you both staying for dinner? I know you have other plans this weekend,” her mom asks.
“Yes, mamma,” Tess replies with a smile. “We’re heading into the city tomorrow afternoon and I’ll be back on Monday after I drop her off at the airport.”
Her parents share a glance, as if silently communicating with one another. Their apparent telepathic capabilities always terrified Tess growing up. That fear comes back tenfold when the both of them glance at Paige, curiosity in their gaze as they soak her in. Paige, admirably, stands strong, a calm seriousness in her expression. She doesn’t even react when Tess subconsciously tightens her grip on her hand. While it feels like they stand there for hours, the staredown only lasts a few seconds before her parents relent. “I’m making bolognese tonight,” her mom states, the tension in the room dissolving.
At that, Tess relaxes again, and flashes a quiet smile at her parents. “We’ll be in my room,” she says. “Paige is jet-lagged after her flight.” None of them comment on the fact that Paige only travelled across one time zone, but her parents smile kindly and return to their movie as Tess drags Paige down the hallway, flushing. “Oh my God. That was the most nerve wracking thing ever.”
“I’ve never dissociated so hard in my life,” Paige confesses. “Did I do okay? Can they smell fear?”
Tess laughs, pulling Paige inside her room and shutting the door. “Christ, Paige – they’re Italians, not fucking sharks.” Paige rolls her eyes, depositing her bags close to the door and kicking off her shoes. She wraps her arms around Tess from behind, rocking them side-to-side, and Tess can’t help her smile as Paige sighs with relief. “Good job, though. She asked if you were staying for dinner.” Tess spins in Paige’s embrace, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her in celebration.
“Is that good?” Paige asks, her cheeks turning red.
“Very,” Tess confirms. “Just don’t wear jeans. She cooks enough for a small army and she’ll make you eat dessert, too.”
Paige nods seriously, like impressing her parents is an important task to her. “I’ll lock in,” she vows, her lips brushing against Tess’s jaw. “They’re gonna like me more than they like you.”
And at that, Tess shoves Paige away from her, scoffing indignantly while the blonde dissolves into laughter. “Jerk,” Tess grumbles. She makes her way to her bed, climbing in and turning the TV on. “Grey’s?” she asks Paige hopefully, as if the blonde would ever say no to Grey’s Anatomy, and Paige nods as she crawls in next to Tess, slinging an arm over her waist and resting her head on her chest.
They make it through an episode and a half before Paige falls asleep, lulled into slumber by the drag of Tess’s fingertips against her scalp. Tess knows she’s been working hard this season, spending extra time in the gym and training because she’s shouldering so much more for her team. She’s on court for nearly 40 minutes a game and although she’d never admit it, Tess knows that it’s taxing.
Tess wouldn’t admit it, either; she knows this arrangement is temporary, but she could get used to this – laying in bed with Paige while the blonde naps, comfortable in the knowledge that out of all of the people in her life, Tess is the one person she knows she can go to and not be expected to be Paige Bueckers all the time. She’s not expected to shoulder all of the responsibility, not expected to be the tough one – she can just be. The fact that Tess can provide that kind of comfort and security for her means more to her than she’d ever expected.
Paige shifts in her sleep, her arm tightening around Tess’s waist subconsciously, and Tess allows herself a gentle smile. It’s temporary, but she’s going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
Dinner was surprisingly nice that night. True to Tess’s word, her mom did make a shit ton of food, but Paige was a willing victim as she went back for seconds and had room for a slice of tiramisu. The chatter was lively and Paige integrated so well with her family. They asked about her childhood, her dreams, and her dad even dragged her into a lengthy conversation about football and the Superbowl. For an Italian raised man, her father was far too interested in American football, but Tess can’t find it in herself to mind too much when Paige’s hand finds her knee under the table as she listens intently. The smile on her face is bright, endeared. When Tess catches her mother’s gaze from across the table, noting the silent approval and her own fondness, she realizes that there’s just something so right about her and Paige.
They gather around the Christmas tree after dinner. Tess and her parents had already opened most of their gifts when Tess’s cousins came around on Christmas day, but her parents had surprised them both with gifts for Paige. Paige wasn’t expecting it, but the childlike wonder on her face was priceless, and Tess really couldn’t have been all too shocked by the fact that she fell just a little harder for Paige as she opened her presents. It was nothing major; a few pieces of workout apparel, a sneaky South Carolina hoodie that they all laughed at as Paige stared at it in mock-disgust (Tess knew she’d wear it), and a gift card for an upscale restaurant in the city that she and Paige planned to take full advantage of.
And then Paige surprised her parents with gifts of their own, which was incredibly fucked up, because how was Tess supposed to go back to normal when Paige is buying her parents Christmas presents and they’re not even dating for real? Paige gives her father a beautiful watch and her mother a gorgeous necklace. Judging by the way they sparkle, they must both cost a fortune, and Paige tells them she already tore up the receipts so there’s absolutely no take-backsies.
Tess hugs her parents goodnight, although they also pull Paige in for one when she tries to shake their hands again. Her parents both whisper their firm approval and Tess can’t help the way her chest tightens. They tell her that they really like Paige – that makes Tess laugh weakly because they aren’t the only ones. She really likes Paige, too, and that’s slowly becoming her biggest problem right now.
After they both shower, Paige rifles through her bag, searching for something, and when she turns around, she presents Tess with a small, gift-wrapped box. “Paige,” Tess grumbles, not expecting a gift from her, but the Cheshire grin on her face makes her resolve weaken.
“C’mon,” Paige goads. “D’you really think I wouldn’t get you sum’?” Tess rolls her eyes, but she opens the drawer on her nightstand and pulls out a gift wrapped box, too. Paige’s smile grows. They exchange their gifts, and after much argument, Paige convinces Tess to open hers first. She takes the wrapping apart gingerly, her eyes widening at the Tiffany & Co logo. “Don’t freak,” Paige says gently, which does little to hide the fact that Tess is freaking.
“Paige–”
“Open it, ma.”
Swallowing thickly, Tess does, and tucked into the cushion of the box is a small, yet glimmering, bracelet charm. She picks it up gingerly, her breath catching. “I struggled for a really long time to find the perfect one,” Paige admits in a whisper. Tess glances up at her, watching a slow smile spread across her face. “Had to get it custom made. It’s the Gampel court. I know – why would you wanna walk around with the enemy court on your wrist, whatever, but flip it over.” Tess flips it, and on the back, February 8, 2021, is engraved. “This was the first game we’d played against each other. The first time I met you in person, the first time I shook your hand. And honestly, I didn’t think we could beat you. I didn’t think I could beat you. You made it really fucking hard.” That draws a teary laugh from Tess, but Paige keeps going, a smile on her face. “As we played, it became less about, I’on know, beating you and more about impressing you. Win or lose, I was just really fucking grateful I got to share the court with you. I learned so much from your game and you made me a better player, whether you realized it or not. I was scared to reach out to you – you’d always been sort of untouchable, I didn’t think you’d wanna be my friend, especially since we’re on different teams. But here we are now.”
“Here we are,” Tess agrees, her lip quivering. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to out-do that,” she jokes.
Paige rolls her eyes, dimples popping out. “Lemme put it on you?” she requests. Tess nods, handing over the charm, and with overwhelming gentleness, Paige clasps the charm to her bracelet, giving her hand a squeeze once it’s safely secured.
“Thank you,” Tess says, her voice barely a whisper. She meets Paige’s eyes. Her expression shines with adoration, fondness, the blue of her gaze disarming. “It’s beautiful.”
Paige smiles at her, vulnerable and tender. “Of course,” she says.
Tess gestures to the wrapped box in Paige’s hand and she opens it gingerly. Inside the box is a thumb ring. The band is extremely thin, gold in color, and isn’t perfectly straight. It resembles the stem of a rose which leads into the petals with two miniscule leaves jutting out on either side. Paige stares at the ring in a reverent sort of awe. “So, we have this Italian saying: se son rose, fioriranno. ‘If they are roses, they will bloom.’ It essentially means that things take time to develop. You have to have faith that the roses will bloom – that you will bloom. It reminded me of both of us – our ACLs, that in time, they won’t weigh us down.” Paige glances back up, meeting Tess’s eyes. “It reminded me of you. I know this year hasn’t been easy for you so far, for your team, but in time, you’ll find that success you’ve been working your entire career for.”
Paige smiles even though her eyes water and her bottom lip quivers. “Tess… I’on know what to say.”
“Well, that’s a first,” Tess jokes, and the both of them dissolve into laughter. At Paige’s insistence, Tess slides the ring onto her thumb. Paige stares at it for a while, a dopey expression on her face, but Tess can tell she loves it. “Merry Christmas, P.”
Paige’s smile grows. She leans in, softly pressing her lips to Tess’s, her arm curling around her waist and dragging her closer until she’s nearly in her lap. Tess places her hands over Paige’s shoulders for stabilization, content to let Paige take the lead, but it’s not long before Paige is withdrawing to ghost her lips across Tess’s cheek, murmuring into her ear, “Merry Christmas, baby.”
DECEMBER 30, 2023
The first few hours of the morning are spent watching cheesy Hallmark movies, much to Paige’s chagrin. She thinks they’re too corny, but Tess argues they’re a holiday staple. Paige eventually gives in after Tess makes her a mug of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, although that doesn’t save her from Paige’s endless commentary.
“The acting is so bad,” Paige says, her tone disgusted. She stretches out a little more on the couch, her leg brushing against Tess’s. “Why does she move her head so much? Why does she keep blinking?”
“Paige,” Tess says, fond exasperation clear in her tone. “It’s not supposed to be good.”
“Well, it’s bothering me,” she whines. “Moving your eyebrows so much doesn’t make you look cool. It makes you look ridiculous.”
“You are such a baby,” Tess gripes. She lifts Paige’s left arm, tucking herself flush against her side. Paige gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she pulls her in a little tighter. “If you think about it, they’re just like us.”
At that, Paige raises her brows, huffing out something akin to unconvinced laughter. “Yeah? How so?”
Tess smiles at her coyly. “They got paired up together for the mural contest. Now they have to work together if they want to win.” She presses her fingertips together, separating them as she makes an explosion noise. Paige snorts. “I don’t think we’d be on Hallmark, though. Not PG enough. You curse like a sailor.”
“Me?” Paige asks. “Have you heard yourself?”
“You’re really gonna sit here and blame me for sh – stuff?” Paige gives her a knowing look, a smirk growing on her face. Tess juts her lip out in a pout that’s clearly not working on Paige. “It’s Christmas and you’re being mean to me?”
“It is not Christmas –”
Tess sighs dramatically, cutting her off. “Christmas,” she whines.
Paige rolls her eyes good naturedly, brushing her lips across Tess’s temple and shutting her up. They finish the movie, along with two others before it’s time for them to make the arduous, thirty minute journey into the city (traffic was a bitch). Paige called dibs on driving, which Tess wasn’t happy about considering that it was her car, but as soon as she thought about driving through the city traffic, she changed her mind.
Tess booked them a suite in a hotel called Tempo by Hilton, mostly due to its proximity to the New Year’s Eve ball drop location. After they checked in, they planned on heading out to dinner and then lounging around for the rest of the evening. They weren’t doing much on the 31st either, their only real plan being the ball drop. They agreed they weren’t going to fill up an entire itinerary. New Year’s in New York was just supposed to be a weekend vacation away from their families and the city would be crowded enough that they’d be away from the media, too. It was difficult to find much to do since Tess was not a fan of the New York nightlife. December marked eight months of sobriety – it wasn’t a lot, but it was a source of pride for her. She had no interest in going back on that even if the urges were long gone by now.
They got ready for dinner together, although Paige was absolutely no help at all. She was dressed in a multicolored striped sweater, baggy white jeans and a pair of matching shoes; her hair was styled down in loose waves. Tess jokingly told her that she looked like an art teacher and Paige rolled her eyes so hard that she had to lay down because it made her head hurt.
“Paige, I don’t know what to wear,” Tess complains.
“Sum’ warm,” she says unhelpfully, not looking up.
“I want to wear a dress.”
“Then wear one?”
“It’ll be cold!”
“Bring a sweater.”
“And ruin the fit?” Tess grumbles.
Paige laughs, much to Tess’s chagrin. “You can pull anything off,” she says.
“It’s probably not even that cold,” Tess muses, glancing down at the dress she packed. It’s a simple black one that cuts off just below her thighs with thin straps at the top. “We’ll be inside for the most part, right?”
Paige shifts, holding her head up with her hand as she stares at Tess with amusement. “Wear the dress. Bring a sweater. Or don’t. I can give you mine and we can be all cute and shit.”
“You just want me wearing your clothes,” Tess says under her breath, but Paige hears it.
“Damn,” she deadpans. “Caught me.”
Tess wears the dress. She doesn’t bring a sweater. The restaurant was warm enough that she didn’t need one, although she’s certain that Paige deliberately took them the long way back to their hotel so she’d cave and ask Paige for her sweater. Her suspicions are proved true when Paige forces them to take what feels like a million photos, but Tess just feels endlessly endeared by her, so she entertains it.
��I like you in this,” Paige comments nonchalantly once they make it back to the hotel room. She toys with the frayed edges of the multicolored sweater mindlessly, glancing up to smile at Tess coyly.
“I know,” she says, taking her jewelry out and unpinning her hair. Paige lingers behind her, watching as she works. “You’re so down bad. It’s sickening.”
“Sorry,” Paige lies. Tess shakes her head with an amused smile. “Look in the mirror and get back to me. Who wouldn’t be?”
They watch an episode or two of Grey’s before bed that night, although Tess falls asleep after the first thirty minutes. The weight of Paige’s body against hers was too calming, the scent of her perfume in the air, the drag of her fingertips across her back. Despite doing nothing but lounging around, traveling, and going to dinner, Tess was exhausted. Paige could be partially to blame for that – she makes Tess feel safe, like she doesn’t have to worry about keeping all of her walls up. She has a comforting energy that could make anyone relax and lose all of their worries.
But maybe she’s a little too effective at that. If Tess had managed to stay awake longer, then maybe she would have heard the dial tone, the sound of another person picking up, and Paige’s whispered confession of, “Aubrey, I might be in love.”
But she didn’t hear it – and Paige may never say it again.
Things are fine the morning after, although Tess would have no reason to expect them to not be. She wakes up before Paige does (not a surprise), although they shifted at some point during the night. While Tess fell asleep with her head on Paige’s chest, she woke up on her side with Paige’s right arm slung protectively over her waist and the blonde’s face pressed into the back of her neck. Her breathing was gentle, fanning against her skin, sending shivers down Tess’s spine when she was coherent enough to realize just how close they were.
She slides out of Paige’s arms, careful to not wake her, and stretches as she walks into the bathroom to begin her morning routine. She’s in the middle of brushing her teeth when Paige finally wakes up, padding into the bathroom and wiping the exhaustion out of her eyes. “Mornin’,” she says, voice thick with sleep. She presses a quick, chaste kiss to Tess’s cheek before she reaches for her own toothbrush and gets to work.
“Morning, Paigey,” Tess says, though her words are muffled around the toothbrush in her mouth. Paige shoots her an amused glance while Tess tries not to stare at her too obviously. She’s dressed in a pair of black basketball shorts and a matching Nike sports bra, although her shorts hang low on her waist, revealing the waistband of her boxers. There’s not even a safe region for Tess to look at. The muscles in her shoulders are freakishly defined, the veins in her hands protrude slightly, her expression is soft and mellowed out, and her hair is down in bedridden waves. Tess needs to be taken out back and shot between the eyes. This is getting out of hand.
“Sum’ you wanna say?” Paige asks around the foam in her mouth. Tess flushes immediately, much to Paige’s endless enjoyment.
“Nope!” she says as she spits out her toothpaste. “Nothing at all.”
Paige catches her around the waist when she tries to leave, attempting to put space between them. Tess’s breath hitches as Paige pulls her flush against her, her hands resting on her bare stomach. Wordlessly, Paige bites down on her toothbrush, using her free hand to wipe away a smudge of toothpaste off Tess’s bottom lip. Paige’s subsequent smile is all too smug and she has to shove her away before she says something pathetic like naming the 2023 WNBA draft class by pick order.
She can hear Paige’s light laughter from the bathroom as she returns to the main room. When Paige finishes up in the bathroom, she doesn’t mention how she flustered Tess, although she does put a shirt on (much to Tess’s simultaneous relief and disappointment) and picks up the phone to order room service for them. The food arrives quickly, an assortment of meats, pastries, and other delicacies. Paige insists on making Tess’s plate for her – the princess treatment getting is ridiculous, but who is she to complain? – and the photo of Paige that she captures, messy bun and oversized t-shirt on, is good enough that Tess considers gatekeeping it, but she ultimately posts it anyway because the people deserve to know that UConn’s basketball star is doing this for her and not for them.
Paige reposts it with the eye rolling emoji and the princess emoji, which makes Tess laugh.
They talk all throughout breakfast, easy conversations and jokes, and they lounge around in the hotel room until it’s time to get ready for the ball drop. Tess, once again, struggles with what to wear, but when Paige comes out of the bathroom wearing a hot pink, long-sleeved Nike sweater with black baggy cargos and rummages through Tess’s suitcase, Tess really can’t be all too surprised when the outfit Paige selected matches her’s.
“You could be a little less obvious,” Tess suggests as she does her hair in the mirror.
Paige only smiles, taking in Tess’s outfit. Paige has dressed her in a pink tube top and black high-waisted pants with a matching coat. “Nah,” she says after a minute of shameless ogling. “I did my big one.”
Tess rolls her eyes. She would never admit it to the blonde, but she and Paige look good.
The walk to Times Square flies passes quickly. They spend it hand-in-hand with Paige expertly navigating them through the busy New York foot traffic as Tess takes countless pictures of the city decorated for New Year’s. She gets plenty of photos of Paige, too, the easy smile on her face, her side profile illuminated by the city lights. Tess knows very well by now that Paige is extremely attractive – that wasn’t a secret to anyone. She was magnetic and Tess has been stuck in her orbit from the first time they met, not in the conference room, but when they played each other in 2021. It takes her a long time to realize her feelings. She keeps them under tight lock and key, knowing that her goal and purpose is to play basketball. She never had the time for anything else, but when Paige finds her gaze, squeezing their intertwined hands, Tess thinks that maybe she could make time if Paige decided to stay in her life permanently.
Paige isn’t magnetic because of her looks. It definitely helps, and while that physical attraction will never leave, Tess has come to find she’s attracted to Paige for other reasons. She likes Paige’s kindness, her candor, her irresistible charm. She likes that Paige keeps her accountable, that she stands ten toes down on her beliefs. Tess is drawn to the way Paige cares for those around her, the way she gives everything her all. She likes her humor, her faith, her compassion. There isn’t a single thing Tess hates about her, but there’s an infinite amount of things that Tess loves about Paige Bueckers.
Love.
Tess loves Paige Bueckers.
That realization, while incredibly sudden, doesn’t surprise Tess as much as it probably should. If anything, it’s freeing – there’s a reason, an explanation to the way she’s been feeling for so long. It should scare her, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t set in yet, the panic. Tess panicked when she realized she had feelings for Paige in the first place. But maybe it’s because she’s older now, arguably wiser. She’s learned that she can’t run from her feelings. She has to embrace them for what they are. She’s in love with Paige. It should scare her because Paige was her first “relationship,” first kiss, and now, first love. It should scare her but it doesn’t and that’s just what it is.
It should scare her because now, rule four is officially broken. There’s no arguing against it or calling it by any other name. She dapped Paige up in a campus coffee shop and promised her that she wouldn’t fall in love with her. In fairness, a Notes app contract and a handshake isn’t really legally binding. But at the end of the day, Tess doesn’t care and that’s probably the scary part. She’s in love. It’s unsurprising, undaunting, and looking back, inevitable.
“You good?” Paige asks, drawing Tess from her thoughts. “You got really quiet.”
Tess thinks about her answer. Is she okay? She’s here, in New York City with Paige Bueckers, the woman she’s in love with, and they’re about to watch the New Year’s Eve ball drop. She’s three months away from being able to play basketball again, a year away from declaring for the WNBA draft. She is literally on the cusp of achieving all of her dreams, of having everything she’s ever wanted. So, she smiles at Paige, shifting closer into her personal space as they walk, and she’s honest when she responds, “Yeah. I’m good.” The smile that Paige gives her is bright, full of fondness, and so disarming that Tess truly wonders how she went so long trying to convince herself that she couldn’t fall in love with her. Paige just makes it so easy. And when she pulls Tess tighter into her side, whispering a joke into her ear, part of Tess hopes that Paige could find it within her to love her back. Another part of her notices the clear adoration in Paige’s eyes, the way she tightens her grip on her hand, and she thinks that maybe Paige Bueckers being in love with Tess Kennedy isn’t such a long shot.
Paige finds them a secluded spot in Times Square, decently far away from the larger portion of the inebriated crowd. The wind is frosty, nipping at her nose and fingers, but Pagie’s body is so warm. She wraps both arms around Paige’s waist, laying her head on her chest, and the blonde runs her fingers up and down her back in a soothing motion. She’s not scared to be in love, but it’s overwhelming in the best way possible. Her heart feels like it’s about to burst at the seams, that the only way she could get this energy out is if she cried from the rooftops.
Right now, there’s literally nowhere else she’d rather be. She has room in her heart for both basketball and Paige – her two first loves. For her, that’s enough.
“D’you have any New Year’s resolutions?” Paige asks once the clock hits 11:50.
Tess hums, pausing to truly give it some thought. “I think I’m going to try to do more next year,” she admits in a soft whisper. “Do more things, meet new people, take more risks. This year really taught me I can’t just rely on the same thing. Take more drives into to paint, you know?”
Paige smiles at her, immediately catching onto her reference. “No more three-point shooting for you,” she teases. “I wanna see you out-hustle Kamilla for some rebounds.”
Tess laughs. “I don’t know about that,” she says wryly. “What about you? Any resolutions?”
Paige’s hand is warm on her back, still brushing her fingers against her spine. She’s quiet as she thinks. She stares directly into Tess’s eyes when she responds, her eyes blue and beseeching. “I wanna try to build something permanent,” she confesses, her throat bobbing with nerves. “Legacies. My future.” Paige hesitates before her next words. “...Relationships.”
“Yeah?” Tess asks. Paige nods, a flush on her cheeks, though Tess can’t tell if it’s from the December chill or embarrassment. “Sounds admirable. But if anyone can do it, you can.”
Paige’s smile is solemn, although Tess doesn’t pick up on it, shifting her attention to the clock. 11:53. The two of them sit in silence for the next few minutes, swaying side to side to the beat of far-away music, the murmur of the distant crowd. Tess allows herself to get lost in the fantasy of a new year, one where she and Paige aren’t just pretending. Tess stopped pretending a long time ago. Part of her wonders if Paige did, too. She finds it hard to believe that Paige would be so committed to keeping up appearances in private. You could excuse the amount of time they spent together. Friends do that. But friends don’t kiss. They don’t fall asleep with each other, or cuddle, or call each other “baby” like Paige does with an enamored drawl. The signs are all there, but what if they were all lies? She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, even if part of her feels like there’s something more.
Tess has never been one for resolutions. They’re tacky and no one ever upholds them, but she thinks she’s going to uphold hers this year. She’s going to confess to Paige – eventually. Definitely not during the tournament season, not when Paige has so much on her shoulders already. But one day she will. That’s a promise she’s going to uphold.
She checks the clock again. 11:59. When she glances up, Paige is already staring at her. Coyly, she asks, “Ready to ring in the New Year’s?”
Tess chuckles, tightening her arms around Paige’s waist. “Are you?”
“Been ready ever since you picked me up at the airport,” she retorts, a grin growing on her face. “D’you remember what I said? S’not New Year’s until I get my midnight kiss?”
Tess hums as if contemplating something. “I don’t recall that,” she murmurs, her gaze locking onto Paige’s.
“No?” She shakes her head as Paige draws her in closer. Their noses brush. Paige’s eyes are soft, but there’s an emotion swirling in them that Tess just can’t place no matter how long she searches for the answer. “Is there anything I can do to jog your memory?”
The crowd roars, although Tess doesn’t pay them any attention.
10…
9…
8…
“I’m sure there’s something,” Tess concedes.
7…
6…
Paige smiles at her, her hands firm on her back. “Something?” she drawls.
5…
4…
“Paige.”
“Yeah?”
3…
2…
“Please stop talking.”
1!
And she does, pulling Tess even closer and capturing her lips with a gentle urgency. Tess grins against her, reaching up to tangle her fingers in Paige’s loose hair, though Paige grows annoyed at Tess’s inability to be serious. One of her hands finds Tess’s jaw, taking control and guiding their kiss. Her hands are freezing but they feel like a soothing balm against the heat building in Tess’s cheeks.
Paige pulls away for air, her breath coming out in shallow bursts that forms clouds of steam in the air, but she doesn't stay away for too long. She’s swooping back in and kissing Tess with a renewed vigor, like there’s something she’s trying to communicate. Her lips are greedy, insistent, drawing out every single noise building in the back of Tess’s throat. She’s never kissed like this before – technically, Paige is the only person that Tess has kissed, but there’s something that’s earth-shatteringly new about this interaction. Paige kisses her with want, with desire, like she couldn’t bear it if she didn’t have Tess in her arms at all times. And honestly, given how Tess eagerly responds, trying her best to put as little space between her and Paige as possible, Tess isn’t sure if she herself could bear it if she and Paige weren’t near each other.
Her entire nervous system is alight with activity, neurons firing on all cylinders. Call her delusional, or stupid, or whatever, but Paige has awoken a part of her that has laid dormant for 22 years. It’s like part of Tess was waiting for Paige to come into her life, that she wasn’t fully living until she felt what it was like to love Paige Bueckers. Now that she knows, Tess can’t imagine living a life where she doesn’t love Paige Bueckers, where she doesn’t get to look at Paige like she’s hung the very stars in the sky, where she doesn’t get to wake up everyday and wonder how Paige will piss her off this time. It’s just them, it’s how they work, it’s how Tess wants them to work forever and ever and ever.
“Paige,” Tess gasps, almost breathlessly, pushing the blonde away from her with a hand to her chest. Paige looks almost annoyed at the interruption until she takes in the hazy look in Tess’s eyes. “Hotel?” Tess asks, and Paige nods her head so vigorously, coming back to her senses. She reaches for Tess’s hand and shoves their way through the crowd back towards their hotel.
The walk back feels like it takes ages. The elevator ride isn’t any better. Tess is nearly shaking with anticipation and Paige fumbles with the keycard, cursing under her breath. Finally, she opens it, ushering Tess inside with unseen urgency and shuts the door quickly behind them, locking it.
Tess hardly has the time to react before Paige is on her again, one hand at the base of her throat and the other around her waist. Despite her haste, she carefully walks the two of them backwards until the back of Tess’s knees hit the bed and Paige lowers her down gently, cognizant of her leg. Paige pulls back, her eyes clouded with want but she finds some clarity when she looks at Tess again. “Off?” she requests, her voice hoarse, tugging lightly at Tess’s coat. Tess nods, but Paige is shaking her head. “Words, Tess. None of that shit.”
“Off, Paige, please,” she says hastily, leaving her pride at the door. Paige rewards her with a deep kiss to her lips as she reaches for Tess’s coat, pulling it off her shoulders and throwing it somewhere behind her. She stands to kick off her shoes and Tess almost misses the contact until Paige sinks to her knees, reaching to undo her heels. The sight of Paige on her knees, staring up at her in near reverence sends a shockwave of desire straight to Tess’s core. Once her heels are off, she reaches for Paige, pulling her up and on top of her, connecting their lips once more.
“Fuck,” Paige murmurs, dipping down to press her lips to Tess’s jaw. Tess tangles her fingers in Paige’s hair, pulling the hair tie out, allowing the blonde waves to spill over her shoulders as Paige drags wet kisses across the slope of Tess’s collarbones. She nips at her skin, soothing the bite with a pass of her tongue, and Tess can’t help the moan that rips from her throat when Paige’s hands press against her ribs. “So pretty, baby, you have no idea.”
“Says you,” Tess says breathlessly, which draws a laugh from Paige. She pulls back far enough, hooking her fingers under the hem of Tess’s top. Paige meets her eyes, the question evident in her blown-out eyes, and Tess nods rapidly as she says, “Take it off, please.”
Her top comes off quickly and Paige groans, her eyes zoning in on her bare breasts. “So polite,” she murmurs, sliding her hands to her chest. She glances back up for consent, and once she has it, she brushes her thumbs across her nipples, drawing a whimper from Tess. “This what I needa do to get you to be nice?” Her tone is warm despite the insinuation in her tone.
“Stop teasing,” Tess grumbles, and who is Paige to deny her? She leans down, littering wet kisses across her chest, encircling her mouth around a nipple as her hand gives equal attention to the other one. Tess slides her fingers through Paige’s hair for leverage, pulling slightly, and moaning when Paige’s subsequent groan reverberates throughout her body. Her back arches off of the bed, trying to lessen the space between them. Paige pulls back, staring at Tess with a reverent smile like she’s the eighth wonder of the world. Then she’s dipping back down, lavishing her other breast with attention, and Tess feels so high-strung that she could float away from the slightest touch.
When Paige moves down her body, sucking hickeys near her ribs, Tess reaches for Paige’s sweater. Wordlessly, Paige raises her arms, allowing Tess to pull her it off. Her mouth goes dry at the sight of Paige’s abs, firm and rigid and inviting.
“All quiet now, huh?” Paige goads.
“Paige–”
Paige shushes her, pressing their lips together again, swallowing the needy sounds ripping from Tess’s throat as her hands explore. They’re warm, leaving blazing paths of desire across her body, dipping down to grip her thighs. “Gonna get you right,” she promises, leaving Tess’s lips, traveling down to her neck where she sucks a mark into her skin. “Jus’ need you to be patient.”
“Don’t want patient,” Tess says, gasping when Paige bites her shoulder. “Want you.”
“You got me,” Paige reassures. “Always, baby, you got me.” Her fingers hook into the waistband of her pants, looking back up to Tess for approval.
“Please,” she begs. “Fuck, Paige, please.”
With almost agonizing slowness, Paige pulls her pants down her legs, still cognizant of her knee. Her eyes widen at the sight of Tess splayed out under her, her breath catching. “Fuck, Tess,” she murmurs in disbelief. Tess finds it hard to be insecure when Paige is looking at her like this. “All for me?”
“For you,” Tess says, her chest heaving.
Paige smiles smugly, whispering, “Yeah, it is,” before she leans down, pressing her lips to Tess’s full thighs, gripping her hips. She spreads her legs, fitting her body in the space she’s created, trailing kisses towards her knee, where the surgery scar remains. Tess’s breath catches in her throat when Paige kisses her knee, her fingers brushing gently over her skin. “Every inch of you is so fuckin’ beautiful,” she whispers in awe. “God, Tess. How are you real?”
For that, Tess has no answer. She reaches for Paige’s hand, intertwining their fingers as she pulls the blonde back to her lips. They’re locked together for a few moments before Tess feels the brush of Paige’s pant leg against her skin. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she whines.
“Sorry, baby,” Paige whispers against her lips. She kisses her once more, a lingering press before pulling away, pulling her pants off with a quickness. She’s left in a black sports bra and a pair of boxers.
She settles in again, her lips finding Tess’s navel, pressing wet kisses to her skin. “Paige,” Tess begs again. “Please touch me.”
“Where d’you need me?” she asks, glancing back up to meet Tess’s eyes. She wonders if she looks as destroyed as she feels. Paige hasn’t even done anything, but all of her senses are on overdrive. She reaches for Paige’s hand, guiding it to the apex of her thighs, resting it over her underwear. If she were wearing a lighter color, she’d be concerned about her arousal seeping through the material.
“Off, Paige, please,” Tess requests.
Paige obliges, stripping her fully. Her eyes soak her in, a groan building at the back of her throat at the sight of Tess spread open and exposed for her. Her hands linger on her thighs as Paige returns to Tess’s lips, kissing her deeply once more. “You want me?” she asks, their noses brushing. “We can stop if you want, don’t gotta do nothin’ you’ont want, Tess, I swear it.”
Tess shakes her head, pulling Paige back in. She’s never been more sure of anything else in her life. “Want you,” she affirms, her voice breathless. Paige pulls back again; her pupils are blown out and the desire is evident, but she searches Tess’s eyes for any hint of a falsehood. When she finds none, she presses one last kiss to her lips, trailing down her body again until she reaches her cunt. Her breath is warm against her and Tess shivers.
Paige reaches for one of her hands, intertwining their fingers. With the other, she spreads her legs once more, getting comfortable and finally, she dips down fully to drag her tongue slowly along the length of her slit. She groans, the vibrations making Tess crazy, and it takes everything in her to not lose her mind as her back arches. Paige uses her free arm to press down on her hips, keeping her rooted as she licks and sucks, her tongue all over her. And when Paige finds her clit, wrapping her lips around it and sending waves of white-hot pleasure throughout her body, Tess whines so loudly that she can feel the noise in her throat. “Paige, fuck,” she gasps, one of her hands twining in Paige’s hair, tugging her closer and closer to her.
Paige is vocal in general, but the noises she makes against Tess’s cunt are intoxicating in the best way. Her head spins as Paige laps her up, gathering her slick on her tongue and drinking her up like a woman starved. She travels lower, her nose brushing against Tess’s clit as her tongue circles her entrance, and Tess feels like some part of her has died and gone to heaven. The pleasure is immeasurable, white spots blotting at the edges of her vision.
Then Paige’s arm is leaving her hips, her fingers trailing down, brushing across her folds. She presses her lips to Tess’s thigh, smearing the wetness as her thumb rubs slow, intentional circles on her clit. “So pretty like this,” Paige murmurs, her voice thick, sounding like she’s drunk off of her taste. Her fingers dip down and she slowly pushes one inside of her, letting Tess get used to the stretch as she tips her head back in wordless euphoria. “That’s it, baby, you got it.” Her finger starts moving, curling upwards, dragging across a spot that makes Tess writhe.
Tess releases Paige’s hair, one arm slinging over her face, unable to fully process the pleasure. Paige stops suddenly, making a disapproving noise against the inside of her thigh as she nips at her skin. “Eyes on me,” she says firmly, “or I’ll stop.”
Tess whimpers, but does as Paige says. She’s rewarded with a blinding smile, the shine of her slick on Paige’s cheeks evident with the way the moonlight streams through the room. Paige prods at her entrance with a second finger. It’s a tighter squeeze, but Tess just sucks her in. “There we go,” Paige whines, breathless with want. “Jus’ like that, fuck.” Both of her fingers are working her in tandem, curling upwards, and Tess feels boneless.
With every push and pull of her fingers, every time her fingertips brush against the spongy part inside of her, Tess feels the pleasure mounting and she starts babbling, begging for Paige to give her what she needs, to finally give her some relief after being so high-strung for what feels like ages. Paige is all too content to give it to her, her head dipping down once more to wrap her lips around her clit. Paige is vocal against her cunt, moans of her own high-pitched and whiny, talking her through it with incoherent rambles. Her mouth and her fingers work her in tandem. Paige leads her higher and higher to her peak, and after one final well-timed brush, the pleasure crests and Tess’s orgasm washes through her.
Paige hums against her, pleased, working her through it until the aftershock tremors subside. Only when Tess gasps, far too overstimulated, does Paige slowly drag her fingers out, pressing one last kiss to her thighs. Tess sighs, sagging into the bed. Paige glances at her, her expression hazy and filled with undeniable smugness, fondness, and a lingering concern. “You good?” she asks, her voice rough.
At that, Tess can’t help but laugh, gazing up at Paige through hooded lids. “You just gave me the best head of my life and that’s what you have to say?” she asks weakly.
Paige rolls her eyes, rubbing her thigh gently with her clean hand. “I’on know what you want from me. You wanna high-five or sum’? Buy a cake to celebrate?”
“Jesus Christ,” Tess says, amused and somehow endeared. “I can’t believe this is who I just had sex with.”
Paige snorts. “I don’t remember you doin’ much of anything.”
Tess flushes. “First of all,” she begins, still a little breathless, “rude. Second of all… should I?”
“Nah,” Paige says, her entire demeanor shifting. “Uh, you don’t gotta worry about that.”
Tess stares at her long and hard, not quite understanding. It’s not until she notes the flush on Paige’s chest, the sweat beading at her temples, the way her boxers stick to her body that she finally understands. “Oh my God,” she says, much to Paige’s chagrin. “You–”
“Chill!” Paige exclaims, embarrassed. “You were makin’ all these noises. I couldn’t help it.”
They stare at each other for a few beats before they both dissolve into exhausted giggles. Tess feels slightly delirious, although part of her can’t believe she just did this with Paige. She doesn’t regret it. She doesn’t think she ever could.
“We should probably clean up,” Paige suggests.
Tess hums, stretching. “Give me like ten minutes,” she says. “I can’t feel my legs.”
Paige laughs smugly. “Yeah?”
Tess shakes her head, amused. “Shut up.”
“Alright,” she concedes, hooking one arm around Tess’s back and the other under her knees. Tess yelps in surprise as Paige lifts her easily, walking them both to the bathroom. “I’m tired. And your ass is not makin’ it ten more minutes.”
“You’re an asshole!” Tess exclaims as Paige turns on the shower, adjusting the heat. “But true.” With one last smile, Paige helps her into the shower and they wash up together. It feels so incredibly domestic, but Tess isn’t complaining. She’s not going to allow her brain to ruin this night for them, not when everything leading up to it has been nothing short of perfect.
They’re well past sleepy when they finally make it out of the shower, redressing in sleep attire. Paige checks out the blankets, getting rid of the soiled ones and grabbing fresh ones from the closet. Soon, she and Tess are collapsing into bed, seconds away from passing out entirely, but Paige reaches for her instantly. She curls into her body, her arm wrapping around Tess’s middle. She brushes her lips against her temple. “Happy New Year’s, Tess,” she whispers, her tone fond.
Tess can only muster an exhausted smile, squeezing her hand as she whispers back, “Happy New Year’s, Paige.”
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Hiiii
If you’re not doing requests then feel free to ignore this, or if you dont wanna do this ignore or delete this if you’d like! I was wondering if you could possibly do bakugo x fem! Hawks daughter! Reader if possible?? She has wings like him but instead reader has large black wings? And if possible telekinesis?😖 I dont have a specific idea in mind but if possible they could be meeting for the first time or if they’re like together if you’re okay with that! Feel free to ignore or not do it if you’re not comfortable!!
Eat and drink! Have a good one ☺️
Bound by Blast Zones
FEATURING Katsuki Bakugo x Reader
SUMMARY Bakugo takes a liking (?) to Hawks' daughter
CONTENT WARNINGS Bakugo being Bakugo, brief descriptions of fighting, violence, BANTERRRR, fluff, angst (if you blink, you'll miss it)
AUTHORS NOTE this ask has had me in a chokehold ever since I read it!! This was the cutest idea and the opportunity for banter had me on the edge of my seat! thank you so so so so much @montybooks for sharing this beautiful idea! <3
The streets of Musutafu were alive with chaos. Sirens wailed in the distance, and smoke coiled into the sky like jagged scars against the blue. Bakugo Katsuki skidded to a halt in the middle of the destruction, the sharp scent of burnt concrete filling his lungs. Another villain down, another notch in his belt—but the work wasn’t over yet. His crimson eyes scanned the wreckage, searching for any lingering threats or bystanders in need of evacuation.
The faint sound of wings slicing through the air snapped his attention skyward. A shadow darted across the sun, moving with precision and speed that rivaled any aerial hero he’d seen. His brow furrowed as the figure grew closer, the sun’s glare giving way to the sight of massive black wings. The sheer size of them was impressive, the way they moved even more so—controlled, purposeful, like every beat was calculated.
The figure descended gracefully, landing with a gust of wind that sent dust and debris swirling. When the air cleared, Bakugo’s scowl deepened, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of curiosity. She stood before him, black wings folding neatly behind her back. Her dark hero suit hugged her form, the utility belt and protective padding marking her as someone who didn’t just rely on her quirk but understood the battlefield. Her posture was relaxed, almost casual, but there was an undeniable sharpness in her gaze—the kind that told him she didn’t miss much.
“Bakugo Katsuki?” Her voice cut through the noise around them. It was smooth, but it carried a subtle weight, a confidence that made him bristle.
“Tch. Who’s askin’?” he snapped, crossing his arms. His eyes darted to her wings, the sheer span of them making it impossible not to stare. They were nothing like Hawks’—darker, more imposing, less of a symbol and more of a statement.
She didn’t flinch at his tone, her lips curling into a faint smirk instead. “Blackwing. My dad said I might run into you.”
The name struck him like a stray spark. He narrowed his eyes. “Your dad?” His mind raced to piece it together, but when she tilted her head just slightly, her golden-brown eyes catching the light, it clicked.
“Wait… you’re Hawks’ kid?”
“Guilty as charged,” she replied, her smirk widening. “And you’re the guy who’s always yelling in the headlines.”
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” he growled, though the faint heat rising in his cheeks betrayed his irritation. He’d spent years perfecting his hero image, but having it boiled down to “yelling” was infuriating.
“Relax, it’s a compliment,” she said, her tone dripping with amusement. “You’ve got a hell of a reputation. Dad said you’re… intense.”
“Damn right I am.” He straightened, puffing out his chest. “What’s it to you?”
Instead of answering, she crouched and raised her hand, her fingers splaying as if gripping something invisible. Bakugo watched as a chunk of debris—easily the size of a car door—lifted into the air. His eyes widened slightly as the slab hovered for a moment before she gently set it aside, clearing the path for the emergency workers. The air around her seemed to hum faintly as she stood, brushing her hands off.
“Wings and telekinesis? What are you, some kinda overachiever?” he muttered, trying to mask his genuine surprise with his usual snark.
She shrugged. “Guess I’m just efficient. Not bad for someone who’s ‘stealing the spotlight,’ huh?”
“I didn’t say that,” he snapped, though the edge in his voice softened slightly. There was something about her—her confidence, her ease on the battlefield—that he couldn’t ignore. Most people folded under his glare or tried too hard to impress him. She, on the other hand, acted like she had nothing to prove. It was… frustrating. And intriguing.
They worked in silence for a while, clearing debris and checking for civilians. He caught himself glancing at her more than he’d like to admit. The way her wings moved, instinctively shielding others from falling rubble, or the way her telekinesis allowed her to lift objects with the kind of precision he’d only ever seen in machines—it all made her stand out.
When the last of the wreckage was cleared and the villains were hauled away, Bakugo stood at the edge of the scene, watching as she spoke to one of the rescue workers. Her posture was still relaxed, but her wings shifted slightly, their dark feathers catching the light. He wondered what it was like to have that kind of presence—to be someone who could fly above the chaos and still keep control.
“You gonna keep starin’, or are you gonna say something?” Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. She was looking at him now, one brow raised, amusement dancing in her eyes.
“I wasn’t starin’,” he shot back, scowling.
“Sure you weren’t,” she teased, her smirk returning. She stepped closer, her wings folding tightly against her back. “You’re not as scary as Dad made you out to be, you know.”
“Scary?” he repeated, his voice rising. “Who the hell said I was tryin’ to be scary? I’m a pro hero, not some damn—”
“Relax, Ground Zero,” she interrupted, holding up her hands in mock surrender. “You’re good at what you do. I’ll give you that.”
The unexpected praise caught him off guard, and for a moment, he didn’t know how to respond. He settled for a gruff, “Damn right I am.”
She laughed, a sound that was surprisingly soft given her sharp demeanor. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Bakugo. Try not to blow up too much in the meantime.” With that, she spread her wings and took off, the powerful beats kicking up dust as she soared into the sky.
Bakugo watched her disappear into the horizon, his scowl softening into something more thoughtful. She was annoying, sure. Cocky, like her old man. But there was something about her that stuck with him—something he couldn’t quite put into words.
“Blackwing, huh?” he muttered to himself, his lips twitching into the faintest of smirks. “Tch. Show-off.”
Weeks later, the crisp scent of autumn clung to the air as Bakugo trudged toward the staging area for his latest mission. The briefing had been clear: a rogue villain group with dangerous quirks was causing havoc in an abandoned factory outside the city. The task sounded simple enough—neutralize the villains, secure the hostages—but Bakugo had learned long ago that simplicity on paper rarely translated to reality.
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. Leaning against one of the transport vehicles, Blackwing looked every bit as casual as if she were waiting for a coffee order, her massive black wings folded lazily behind her. She tilted her head slightly when she spotted him, her smirk almost a challenge.
“You following me, Blackwing?” he barked, hefting his gear onto his shoulder with an exaggerated grunt.
“Please,” she replied, pushing off the vehicle with a fluid grace that irritated him for reasons he couldn’t explain. “You’re not that interesting. Besides, it looks like we’re stuck together for this one.”
“Tch. Great,” he muttered, rolling his shoulders as he turned his attention to the briefing officer. Despite his grumbling, there was an undeniable flicker of anticipation in his chest. Watching her on the field would give him something to focus on other than the noise in his own head.
The mission went sideways almost immediately.
The villains had fortified their position far better than expected, filling the factory with traps designed to incapacitate heroes. A dull orange glow filled the air as fires from earlier skirmishes crackled in the background, and the acrid stench of melted plastic and singed wood burned Bakugo’s nose.
He blasted through the front entrance, his explosions precise and deafening, but even his confidence took a hit when he saw the maze of barriers and booby traps ahead. Before he could charge in recklessly, Blackwing swooped past him, her wings kicking up a gust that momentarily cleared the smoke.
“Try not to set off every alarm in the place,” she called over her shoulder, already scanning the area with an analytical eye.
“I don’t need your advice!” he barked, but she was already moving.
Using her telekinesis, she disarmed traps with a finesse that made his blunt approach look almost amateur. Pieces of debris floated and shifted under her command, clearing paths for them to maneuver while neutralizing hidden explosives.
“You know,” she said as she floated a metal tripwire mechanism safely out of their path, “you could try being a little less predictable. You might even survive longer.”
“Shut up,” he snapped, vaulting over a barricade. “I’ve got this under control.”
It was a half-truth at best. As much as Bakugo hated to admit it, having her there was an advantage. She moved with calculated precision, her wings shielding her from attacks and her telekinesis providing a level of support he rarely experienced. She wasn’t just cleaning up after him—she was complementing his chaos with her control, and it made him grit his teeth in both irritation and reluctant admiration.
At one point, a villain dropped from the rafters above him, aiming a serrated knife at his unprotected back. Bakugo twisted too late, bracing for impact, but the attacker stopped mid-air, their body suspended in an invisible grip.
“Seriously?” Blackwing’s voice cut through the tension as she yanked the villain away with a flick of her wrist, slamming them into a wall hard enough to leave them unconscious. “You’re welcome.”
Bakugo glared at her, heat rising to his cheeks. “I didn’t need your help.”
“Sure you didn’t,” she replied, her smirk returning as she turned to the next obstacle. “You’re lucky I’m here to keep you alive.”
They fought side by side for the rest of the mission, their synergy growing despite the occasional snide comment. By the time they reached the hostages and secured the villains, Bakugo found himself begrudgingly impressed.
As they walked back to the staging area, adrenaline still thrumming through his veins, she nudged him lightly with her elbow. “Not bad, Ground Zero. Maybe we should do this more often.”
“Tch. Don’t get used to it,” he muttered, though the faintest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
The hero gala was every bit as obnoxious as Bakugo had expected—too many people, too much chatter, and absolutely no peace. He tugged at the collar of his suit jacket, already regretting letting Kirishima drag him here. The red-haired idiot had insisted that it was a great opportunity to make connections, but Bakugo had his own opinion: a waste of time.
Scowling, he scanned the room, trying to find the least crowded corner. The ballroom was grand, glittering chandeliers hanging high above polished floors, but all he could think about was how suffocating it felt. That was until he saw her.
She wasn’t in her usual hero suit, but the sight of her was just as commanding. The sleek black dress she wore hugged her figure in a way that was both elegant and effortless, while her dark wings draped behind her like a cloak. They caught the light with every slight movement, drawing attention despite her attempts to remain inconspicuous. She stood near the edge of the room, her posture as casual as ever, but her sharp eyes missed nothing.
“Don’t tell me you actually clean up,” Bakugo blurted as he approached her, his usual filter nonexistent.
She turned slowly, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “And don’t tell me you actually know how to talk to people without growling.”
He bristled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I talk just fine.”
“Uh-huh,” she replied, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Nice to see you too, Ground Zero.”
“Tch. Didn’t think this was your scene,” he muttered, his gaze drifting to her wings. Even in a room full of heroes, she stood out.
“Ditto,” she shot back. “But even I can play nice when I have to.”
They ended up gravitating toward the same quiet corner, away from the noise and spectacle. Bakugo leaned against the wall, arms crossed, while she sipped on a glass of champagne, her wings shifting slightly as she adjusted her stance. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, though it was charged with something Bakugo couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“So, how’s the hero gig treating you?” she asked eventually, breaking the silence.
“Fine,” he replied curtly. “Same as always. Blow up some villains, save the day.”
“Charming,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “Do you ever try to make a good impression, or is this just your thing?”
“I don’t need to impress anyone,” he snapped, though there was no real bite to his words. “What about you? Enjoying your dad’s shadow?”
Her expression flickered, just for a moment, before she shrugged. “I’m used to it. Comes with the wings, I guess.”
Bakugo frowned, realizing too late that his comment had hit deeper than he intended. “You’re not just ‘Hawks’ kid,’ you know,” he said gruffly. “You’re good. Real good.”
She blinked, clearly caught off guard by the rare compliment. Then, she smiled—a small, genuine curve of her lips that made something in his chest tighten. “Thanks, Ground Zero. That almost sounded sincere.”
“Don’t get used to it,” he grumbled, but the tension in his shoulders eased slightly.
As the night wore on, their conversation shifted. They talked about the absurdity of gala events, swapped stories of ridiculous villains they’d faced, and even argued over who had the more annoying fans. It was the most relaxed Bakugo had felt in a long time, though he’d never admit it out loud.
By the time the event began winding down, he found himself reluctant to leave. She turned to him, tilting her head slightly. “You know, you’re not as bad as you make yourself out to be.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re not as annoying as I thought you’d be,” he replied, smirking.
“Careful, that almost sounded like a compliment,” she teased.
He rolled his eyes, but there was no heat behind it. “Whatever.”
As she started to walk away, her wings brushing lightly against his shoulder, she glanced back at him. “See you around, Bakugo.”
He watched her go, the noise of the gala fading into the background. For once, he didn’t mind the chaos. Not when she was part of it.
Years later, Bakugo stood in front of the mirror, scowling at his reflection as he adjusted his tie for what felt like the hundredth time. The fabric refused to sit right, and every attempt to fix it seemed to make it worse. His palms felt clammy, a sensation he despised, and the faint sound of chatter filtering in from outside the room only worsened his irritation.
From the corner of his eye, he saw her sitting on the edge of their bed, her black wings folded neatly behind her. She wasn’t doing anything in particular, just watching him, her golden-brown eyes filled with a mix of amusement and affection. She’d always had that maddening ability to look completely unbothered, no matter the circumstances.
“Hard to believe you’re nervous,” she teased, the corner of her lips quirking up in a smirk that still managed to rile him up after all this time.
“I’m not nervous,” he snapped, tugging at the knot of his tie yet again. The way his hands fumbled with the fabric, though, betrayed him. He wasn’t one to show weakness, but something about today was different. It wasn’t fear, exactly, but the weight of the moment pressed on him in a way he couldn’t shake.
She stood, crossing the room in a few easy steps. Her wings shifted as she moved, brushing lightly against the edges of the furniture. Without saying a word, she took over, her fingers deftly fixing the tie with the ease of someone who’d done it a dozen times before. Her hands lingered for a moment as she smoothed his lapels, her touch grounding him in a way nothing else could.
“You’re gonna be fine,” she said softly, her voice steady and sure. It was the same tone she’d used on countless missions, the same quiet confidence that had drawn him to her all those years ago. “We both are.”
He huffed, crossing his arms as she stepped back to look him over. “Tch. You’re way too calm about this.”
“That’s why we work,” she replied, her smirk softening into a genuine smile. “One of us has to be.”
His eyes flickered to her wings, the same imposing, beautiful black feathers that had once made her an unforgettable silhouette on a chaotic battlefield. Those wings had shielded him more times than he cared to count, but it wasn’t just the wings—it was her. The woman who’d gone from being a rival to a partner, from an annoyance to the most important part of his life.
The memory of their first meeting flashed through his mind: her sharp wit, her infuriating smirk, the way she’d effortlessly saved his ass while making him feel like she hadn’t even broken a sweat. And then the missions after that, where they’d learned how to move as a unit, her precision balancing out his explosive power. The late nights, the quiet moments, the laughter and arguments and everything in between—it had all led to this.
He glanced at her again, taking in the way her dress hugged her form, the subtle shimmer of her feathers in the light, the way her eyes held him steady even now. She looked like she belonged in the sky, untouchable, and yet here she was, tethered to him.
“You look good,” she said, breaking him from his thoughts. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders, her touch steadying him even as his mind raced. “Even if you can’t tie a damn tie to save your life.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, though the faintest smirk tugged at his lips. “You don’t look half bad either.”
She laughed, a sound that still made his chest feel a little lighter, no matter the circumstances. “High praise from you, Ground Zero.”
“Don’t push it.”
As they prepared to step out of the room, the noise from outside growing louder, Bakugo couldn’t help but glance at her one last time. She caught his gaze, her head tilting slightly in question.
“What?” she asked, her brow arching.
He hesitated, the words forming in his throat feeling too soft, too vulnerable for someone like him. But as he looked at her, at the woman who’d been there through every explosion, every triumph and failure, he let himself say it anyway.
“I’m glad it’s you,” he muttered, his voice low but steady.
Her eyes softened, and she reached for his hand, her fingers lacing through his. “Always.”
As they stepped out to face the world together—whether it was a high-stakes mission, a major announcement, or their wedding day—Bakugo couldn’t help but reflect on how far they’d come. She wasn’t just his partner on the battlefield; she was his partner in every sense of the word. And as much as he hated to admit it, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#dee's asks#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero acedamia#kohei horikoshi#katsuki bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katsuki#dynamight#katsuki#kacchan#ground zero#great explosion murder god dynamight#hawks bnha#mha hawks#bnha hawks#hawks#mha takami keigo#keigo takami#takami keigo
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A Spot of Tea
This is a little extract from the next chapter of The Warden's Watcher, but I thought i'd share on it's own.
Author's Note: Set from Emmrich's POV early game, in act 1, when Taash is still using she/her pronouns.This will change as their journey progresses and they make their preference known.
Tags: gender discussion
“Please, feel free to stay for a spot of tea,” Emmrich said, gesturing toward the chair opposite him. “Manfred has been experimenting with infusions. I’m sure he could add some ginger—I recall you’re rather fond of it.”
Manfred paused his dusting, turning to hiss enthusiastically.
Emmrich allowed himself a small smile, though he knew better than to expect immediate warmth from Taash. The gesture, however modest, was meant to ease the wariness she held for him. Time spent in conversation, he hoped, might convince her that her mistrust was misplaced. Yet, her continued guardedness was beginning to sting. He hadn’t seen her smile - not once - and it was becoming more and more difficult not to take it personally.
Taash remained where she stood, her boots rooted firmly to the wooden floorboards. She didn’t move forward, but neither did she retreat.
With an inward sigh, Emmrich decided to treat her as he would one of the Necropolis’ elusive cats: patient, unobtrusive, and willing to let her make the first move.
“You call him a ‘he.’”
“I’m sorry?” Emmrich asked, glancing up from his book.
Taash’s gaze hadn’t wavered. Her eyes remained locked on Manfred, her brow furrowed as if puzzling out a riddle she hadn’t yet solved. Emmrich knew she hated riddles.
“Manfred,” she said, her voice slow and deliberate, “You call him ‘he.’ How do you know he’s a ‘he’? Does he have… boy bones?”
“Ah.” Emmrich closed the book softly and returned his quill to its pot. “His bones are from a variety of donors, male and female. Some skeletal components require a match from the same biological sex, but others fit together without regard to such concerns. However,” he said, smiling gently, “just as with us, Manfred’s identity has nothing to do with the bones themselves.”
Taash blinked, her frown easing ever so slightly. “Oh.”
“It’s quite simple, really,” Emmrich continued. “He just let me know.”
“But I thought he could only hiss?”
“He finds his own ways to communicate. Many spirits, especially ones as curious as Manfred, wish to join the living and experience life. When they do, they start as something simple—a facet or idea that represents them—and, with encouragement, develop into more complex beings. For some spirits, I suppose gender becomes part of that identity.”
“Only some spirits?”
“It isn’t universal,” Emmrich explained, leaning back in his chair. “Some spirits feel no need for such distinctions. Gender, after all, is a construct. Perhaps they pick it up from the body they inhabit, the living beings they observe, or simply from something that brings them comfort. It helps them feel closer to what they wish to become.”
He watched as Manfred stopped dusting to offer a soft hiss and wiggle his skeletal fingers at a stray wisp that had floated through the window.
“Spirits,” Emmrich added, watching the exchange with quiet amusement, “aren’t so different from us in many ways.”
Taash’s lips pressed into a thin line. “So you didn’t question it at all?”
“Why would I?” Emmrich replied. “Who am I to argue when someone tells me who they are?”
“Huh.”
Emmrich let the silence linger before clearing his throat. “Now, about that tea? I assure you, Manfred’s steeping technique has improved immensely.”
Taash hesitated, her eyes darting briefly toward the skeletal steward before returning to Emmrich. For the first time, she seemed to seriously consider his offer.
“All right,” she said at last, lowering herself into the chair. “But tell him not to hiss at me. It freaks me out.”
Manfred inclined his skull politely, then shuffled off toward the teapot.
A fleeting smile crossed Taash’s face as she settled into the chair. It was small, but Emmrich caught it all the same.
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Surprise, @raziasark, I'm your Secret Santa for the @inusecretsanta this year! Hope you like it!
~~**~~
Something just like this
It was a quiet and peaceful night, and still Inuyasha could not sleep.
Nightmares plagued him like they hadn't since he was a child, turning shadows into monsters and the sounds outside into warnings. He pressed himself closer to Kagome but not even her scent was enough to quiet the sense of discomfort deep within him.
Too restless to lie still any longer, he got up as quietly as he could and walked the couple of steps across the room to where Moroha slept. She seemed safe and sound, but he still knelt by her side to check her breathing, anyway, sighing in relief when her blearely blinked her eyes open at him. She was the picture of easeness, but the knot within him seemed to coil even tighter as he got back up.
Anyone, anything, could ruin this bubble of happiness they had built. The kindness of a priestess had brought forth an horror like Naraku, who knew what other evils could be spawning in the world as they slept? How could he ever guarantee they would be safe?
Two arms wrapping around him from behind pulled him out of his spiralling thoughts. He brought a hand up and held Kagome’s hand against his chest.
“What’s the matter, Inuyasha? Can’t sleep?”
He shook his head.
“It’s nothing, sorry. Did I wake you?”
“Yes, I could hear the sound of you worrying all the way from over there,” she teased. “So, please, tell me what’s wrong.”
He sighed, looking over Moroha one more time. Still sleeping, still safe, but for how long?
“One day, I might not be able to protect you. The both of you,” he said softly, and turned around to face her. He knew there was fear in his eyes, but he hadn’t been ashamed of sharing it with her for a long time now. Her brow furrowed.
“Why do you think that?”
“I know I learned a lot while we were searching for Naraku, but there will always be someone stronger out there, a new evil, and when that happens I don’t know if I-”
“No,” she cut him off. “I mean, why do you think you need to protect us?”
“Kagome, you know I know how strong you are and what you are capable of, but if some disaster happens I’ll want to keep you as safe as possible.”
“No, that’s not what I meant, either. It’s the middle of the night, just gimme…. She rubbed her eyes as she gathered her thoughts. “What I meant is: why do you still think you need to do everything alone? The world isn’t on your shoulders, Inuyasha. If anything were to happen again, we will, we all will, deal with it together like we’ve always done.”
He could understand, in a sense, what she was trying to say, but the coil of anxiety was still within him.
“But what if…” He started and then took in a deep breath to keep his voice from trembling. He knew how ridiculous he was being, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he world was about to come crashing down on him at any minute. “What if that’s not enough? What if everything gets ruined because I am not enough? I need to get stronger, be always stronger, so that nothing happens, so I don’t lose you both.”
In a moment, Kagome had his face gripped between her hands and was giving him one of the fiercest looks he had ever seen. Some would say the inherited spirit of Midoriko still lived within her, but his knew this fierceness and bravery had always been all Kagome.
“The only thing you need to be is my husband and Moroha’s father. That’s it. The only thing you need to do is stay here, help me with dinner, rub my back when I am tired, take care of Moroha when she cries and teach her how to climb trees. We don’t need you to be a hero and save Japan or the world. Just be here and hold me, just like this, and all will be fine.”
His eyes widened and then softened. He really had managed to get the most amazing woman in the world to be by his side. She always knew exactly what he needed to hear.
“I think I have some other things I need to do, too, like hunt or warm the bath or keep snakes away.”
“No, you only need to do what I said.”
“Only that?”
“Yes.”
“That’s an easy life I’ll have.”
“Yes, you deserve it. We deserve it.”
He laughed, knot finally loosening, as did the tension on his shoulders. Kagome’s eyes softened dreamily and she hummed.
“Actually, there’s one more thing.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“What is it?”
“You have to kiss me.”
“I can do that.”
He kissed her in the now welcoming darkness and quietness of their cabin. He kissed her until a soft crying and whimper rang in the night.
He turned around and picked Moroha up, holding her with one arm against his chest.
“What is it? Did we wake you? I’m sorry.”
Her whimpers had turned into happy coos, though, and she reached her hands to his face. When he ran the back of his finger through her soft cheek, she got his finger and held it tight, waving it around like a prize. Kagome chuckled.
“I think Moroha is also saying all she wants from you is for you to stay here.”
He buried his face on Kagome’s hair once more and thanked the darkness of the cabin as he quietly did something he was still too embarrassed to do in front of her:
He cried.
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God I love RRR 😭
#I’ve never loved a movie so much in my life#it rewired my brain#I think all the time about the fact that my mother passed away like two weeks before RRR was released#so there was no way she could ever have seen or shared it with me#and while that fills me with more sadness than I can even describe#it also positions this movie in a very unique and bittersweet place for me emotionally#it was the thing that pulled me out of my catatonic grief-induced depression#it was the thing that made my life bigger around the grief#it was the first profound moment of joy I had in this new life I’m trying to live without her#anyway I just have a lot of feelings#rrr my beloved
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sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.
which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.
and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.
and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3
in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.
it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.
#spn oc#don’t mind this i’m rambling about nothing i felt nostalgic about her (<- my oc)#there was also an explanation in the mix for why amara was called amara in this au too despite. you know. not being a baby.#and it was like. a vessel’s desperate attempt to separate itself from the thing inside it by naming it something other than itself.#like a last moment of self-preservation. the opposite of lucifer using nick’s face and us all agreeing to think of it as his. you know?#and amara means beauty.#it’s a very human need. to name things. and the thing is that humanity itself is antithetical to what amara is. in this au.#not because of any inherent quality of it. but because it was not made with her in mind.#i keep bringing up lucifer but he’s such a good comparison case of what thirteen year old me was trying to construct here#and what i can better explain now that im. not thirteen. but its that. lucifer has beef with humans because they have common ground.#the only reason he can hate them is because they’re recognizable to him. terrible little cockroaches. but something he understands.#amara as i conceived of her could not hate or love or understand humanity. or the world. or anything as we know it. because it was not made#to be seen by her. it was made with the express purpose of her never encountering it.#when i was thirteen i wanted her to be so much more alien than she was. unfortunately this is supernatural and supernatural deals in#Just Some Guy forever and ever <3#but it was my story so i made her fucked up and weird and beyond comprehension.#except. of course. when forced to bend into a shape that makes her Not her.#i don’t think proper envesseling would have been a process either her or the oc survived. not because they’d die but because they’d get.#stuck? i think? that was what the intent was. that they’d get melted together like plastic toys.#chuck had a nice smooth envesseling in this au because these toys are made for him.#and angels need consent and angels get bleedover from their vessels because the toys are shared with them but they’re closer to being toys#themselves too.#i’ve rambled enough honestly no one cares about this but me aksjfkjfks#what was i talking about. right! the naming!#the naming of amara is a nail in her coffin because she is named and it is so human to be named and to be perceived and to be shaped by that#perception. even without malicious intent. even to be looked at as destruction itself and be named beauty.#in the same way you kill what something could be by learning what it is. the way a unicorn dies when you discover how rhinos were drawn.#does that make sense? that’s what kills her. bit by bit.
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BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 5:48
Bakugou’s in his third year of high school when he finally invites you over to his house. The reason? To finish a calculus project.
You’d think that after surviving through the hardships of being a hero-in-training together for three years, saving each other’s lives (more often you were the one being saved than doing the saving, really), and whatnot, he would’ve invited you sooner to his home (one could dream).
But this was Bakugou, after all.
And he knew that something was off the moment he left you to share a conversation with his mom while he went to get his books from his room—the greatest mistake he could have ever done because by the time he’s making his way back, Bakugou could hear you snickering to yourself.
Not a good sign.
“I’m not going to lie; you looked hideous when you were a baby,” you say, reading through Bakugou’s baby album.
Bakugou froze. He had absolutely no idea why his mother would cave in and give you the godforsaken album from when he was young, but of course she would’ve agreed with your request to see it if you did so much as mention it.
He dropped the books he’d grabbed from on top of his desk on top of the living room table before whipping his attention towards you, an indignant scoff escaping through his nose before he took a few slow, but heavy stomps over to you—practically snatching the album from your grasp when he’s within reach.
“Stop looking through those stupid pictures.”
“Hey! I wasn’t finished,” you reply with a frown. “You’re lucky my phone’s battery just died, or else I would’ve taken a billion photos.”
Bakugou’s jaw clenched slightly as he grumbled curses under his breath, trying to flip through the album in his hands to make sure you hadn’t managed to sneak a photo out—a small sigh of relief rolling off of his tongue to find that, luckily, it was still how his parents had done it.
He shot a glare over towards you, stuffing the album back into its original spot on one of the bookshelves, his nose crinkling as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Don’t care; tell anyone what you saw, and you’ll drop dead,” he tells you.
“Oh, but how could I not? That photo album’s like hitting the jackpot—so many super ultra rare photocards of you,” you gushed, blatantly disregarding his usual threat. “Come on, I wanna see the rest!”
“Absolutely not.”
Bakugou knew the damn photos were in the back of the album. There were probably a handful of the ones where he was in the bathtub, butt-naked—a common photo in most photo albums he’s seen, at least. Other photos include when he was three years old and wore an All Might onesie for his birthday, pictures of him during his school recital where he was the prince, him with a bald haircut, and so much more blackmail material.
It was humiliating, for goodness sake! And he knew you’d just tease him mercilessly if you saw it.
You’ll never let him live it down, so it’s best to deprive you of it.
“Don’t come at me for saying this, but I was the cutest baby in our village back then,” you told him proudly. “Had the roundest cheeks and brightest smile, trust.”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, a huff of air forcing itself past his lips. That was one thing about you that he couldn’t stand; you were so full of yourself most of the time—you’d always been like that, and he absolutely loathed it. It could be that it reminds him of himself, so the competitive meter on his head just flares whenever he’s around you.
“I doubt you were even 1% of how adorable I was as a baby.”
“Have you seen me?” you gestured to your face with your hands to emphasize your facial features.
“I’m still as cute even now. And no offense, Bakugou,” you giggled, “you looked like a wrinkly raisin on your first few days on this Earth.”
Bakugou’s smirk dropped. He’d almost forgotten that you had seen the stupid pictures already.
“Shut the hell up. It wasn’t that bad.” He muttered quietly, his hands balling into frustrated fists. His parents always assured him that he was a cute kid when he was small—but to hear that YOU of all people, are in disagreement with that is just aggravating.
“Fine, fine. Quits it is,” you hum. “Let’s do that calculus project so I can get home before sunset.”
Bakugou grumbled something inaudible under his breath, reluctantly nodding his head in agreement. There was no point in arguing about something so idiotic—after all, both of you were there to get a project done, not to sit around and bicker about his past.
He took a few steps over to the living room table before plopping down on the polished floor ungracefully, yanking out his notes before he gestured his hand over towards the free space next to him.
“Sit down. Let’s just get this thing done and over with already.”
Bakugou had already started working silently by the time you sat down; his hand was writing almost furiously as he copied equations onto his paper. He kept his attention focused on his notes, trying to stay quiet as he focused completely on completing the project.
He eventually stopped writing for a moment, turning his gaze over to glance at what you were doing before clicking his tongue at the sight. Bakugou could already see a few mistakes you’d made with your work.
“You’re doing it wrong,” he says.
“Wait, I’ve barely turned on the calculator, jeez.” You shook your head, solving the equation through your calculator.
“And that’s how I know you’re doing it wrong.” Bakugou huffed, shaking his own head in disappointment.
“Formula first before adding 1.3.”
He pulled out a pen and began scribbling down on his own paper, glancing at yours every once in a while to compare the work. He knew from his experience that you were decent at math (he’d rather die than tell you that), but this was just pitiful even by your standards.
“Have you been dozing off during Ectoplasm’s class?”
“Ouch. Do you have a personal grudge against keeping the not-so-nice stuff from leaving your mouth?” you sigh. “You’re hurting my feelings— I’m devastated.”
He had a feeling you’d say something like that, and he was prepared to ignore your attempts at gaining sympathy from him.
“Unfortunately, you’ll fucking live,” Bakugou says, scribbling down the last of his work before turning it towards you. “And learn how to solve equations too, while you’re at it.”
“I know how to do it; calm down.” You huff, rewriting your solutions.
Bakugou raised a skeptical eyebrow, his head tilting with a hint of disbelief. Even if he knew you were capable of doing math, you had a bad habit of missing even the smallest details, like the operation to be used in your work, leading to the wrong answers.
His eyes scanned over the work you’d written on your paper before letting out a small huff. “Looks right. Are you done with your half?”
“Yep, yep. Are you going to write it down on our answer sheet, or should I do it?” you offered.
Bakugou glanced down at the answer sheet set to the side before picking it up and nodding. He was already holding a pen while you were still using a pencil, so it would make more sense for him to be the one to write it all down.
He began copying down the answers slowly and carefully, each number being written out with ease as his eyes flicked back and forth from the worksheet to the sheet of answers.
With him busy jotting down the answers, you occupied yourself with taking in the interior of his living room. It was beautiful, neat, and just screamed rich—not really what you expected (you really didn’t know what to expect, honestly). “Y’know,” you mention, glancing around. “You have a nice house.”
Bakugou hummed in acknowledgment, his eyes remaining focused on his task. It kind of took him by surprise to hear you say something out of the blue—about his house, no less. He’d fully expected you to talk about something else, like school or that new show you’ve been begging him to watch.
It went against what Bakugou had originally thought, which led him to look over at you from the corner of his eye, silently raising an eyebrow in a silent question.
“Yeah, I guess it’s a nice house,” he said casually, his pen continuing to move over the paper. His penmanship was neat, and Bakugou hears you in awe.
Bakugou continued to finish writing down the last of the answers, his eyes narrowing slightly as he noticed you looking around his house. It was obvious what was happening, but he decided to ignore it in favor of just getting the godforsaken project done.
He finished soon enough, his pen rolling back with a click before he leaned back a little and let out a small huff. “We’re done. Finally.”
“Nice, nice.” Glancing at your watch, you concluded, “I should get home.”
Bakugou was silent, rolling his shoulders and neck before glancing out of the nearby window. The sun had already begun to set over the sky, the day quickly slipping away into the night.
“Yeah, whatever. You need me to walk you home or something?” He asks gruffly.
“Nah, I’m good. I need to say goodbye to your parents, too.”
Bakugou watched as you packed up all of your belongings, a scoff rolling off of his tongue. It felt almost weird to be civil with each other, neither of you having taken jabs or making snarky remarks to taunt one another.
“Alright, fine,” he finally said, standing up from his seat and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Let’s go find my parents then.”
He led you down the hall and into the kitchen area, his ears vaguely picking up the sounds of his mother and father talking amongst themselves about… something. He couldn’t tell what exactly, and frankly, he barely even cared.
“Mom, Dad.” He spoke up, capturing the attention of his parents.
Mitsuki looked over at him, a smile spreading across her face. Masaru looked in the same direction, a warm smile forming on his face as well.
“Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Bakugou,” you said in gratitude. “I’ll be going home now before it gets too late.”
His parents shared a hum in acknowledgment, with his mother being the one to speak up first. She had a knowing grin on her face as she clasped her hands together, her eyes flickering over to her son.
“You’re welcome. You should come over more often,” Mitsuki said enthusiastically, her voice taking on a slightly smug tone.
Masaru laughed as he nodded in agreement. He gave a knowing look to his wife before he looked back over at you. “You should join us for dinner; we already made enough for you to join us.”
“I’d love to, sir, but my folks are waiting for me at home,” you answered sheepishly.
Bakugou noticed the glance his parents exchanged and immediately knew what they were thinking. He almost grumbled in frustration, already knowing that they’d ask him about you later after you left.
His mother spoke up once again, her smug grin growing wider. “You’re always welcome here,” she repeated, her eyes flickering over to her son as her voice came out teasing. “After all, Katsuki’s always in a ‘better’ mood when you’re around.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it, ma'am. I’m a joy to be around, after all,” you lightly joked, though you still maintained a respectful tone.
His parents were easier to get along with than you thought.
Bakugou’s eye twitched in annoyance at your words, almost making him want to quip back at your cocky behavior. However, it was the sound of his mother’s sudden laughter that stopped him from doing so.
Mitsuki mother put her hand up to her mouth briefly, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she continued to chuckle. The expression on her face was elated, and it was pissing him off even more, knowing what’s to come.
“I like this one,” she said, grinning from ear to ear.
Masaru added, “And clearly, so does Ka—“
“All right! They need to get going to catch the shitty train.”
By the time Bakugou accompanied you to the door, he had this obvious scowl on his face. “You’re never comin’ back here again, dipshit.”
“Wha— no fair! Why am I getting banned from the Bakugou residence when this is my first time here?” you replied.
“Shut up,” he grunts. “I could do whatever the hell I want because it’s my house, too.”
“Too bad I have your Mom’s number—“
“Delete that.”
“Hey— wai— no way!”
It was not the last time you were ever invited to the Bakugou residence.
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yesterday afternoon - after an unsuccessful coffee shop date - you’d decided that dating sucked. it was much too awkward and formal and not at all like it was in the movies, putting too much pressure on the people involved.
last night - after watching shoko flirt her way into free drinks - you’d been tipsy enough to take her advice.
casual sex! it doesn't have to be with a stranger, just pick someone you know. someone you’re sure you won't fall in love with.
this morning you’d woken up to find gojo laying in bed next to you.
you lay shoulder to shoulder with the one person you should not have picked, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak.
“did we really–”
“three times,” satoru confirms happily, rolling onto his side to grin down at you. “i'm surprised we didn't do this sooner, really. our sexual tension has always been off the charts.”
when he leans in to kiss you, his lips meet your palm as your expression wrinkles. “don’t get familiar.”
“we’re naked together in bed– we slept together in more than the literal sense. can’t get more familiar than that.”
“and this never happen again,” you promise, refusing to look at him.
“why? because you’re afraid you’ll fall in love with me? it’s okay to admit it. i'm extremely lovable.”
you’ve seen the way girls fawn over him. how they swoon over his pretty eyes and confident smile. he’s satoru gojo. a legend amongst jujutsu society. you’re no one in comparison, not a user of an otherworldly cursed technique, not from a major clan.
people like him don’t fall for people like you. you’re afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt.
“we’re friends,” you tell him honestly. “i don’t want to risk ruining our friendship over something like this.”
he tilts his head as your look at him. “shoko told you to try casual sex, didn't she? why not with me?”
“she told you?” you groan, dragging a hand down your face and making a mental note to never ask your roommate for advice for anything ever again.
“hey, look at me,” he urges, grasping your hand. you do as he says, meeting his earnest gaze. “i can be casual and chill, it’s not like i have a huge crush on you or anything.”
it’s so hard to say no to him. you really wish you could.
“i’ll think about it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes when he fist pumps. “but you need to go home before shoko sees you.”
but you’re dealing with satoru gojo, who almost never does what he’s told. “you’re not getting rid of me that easily. come here.”
he winds an arm around you, pulli my you in so you’re snug against his chest. explicit memories of last night flash through your mind, sending heat through your veins.
“i can’t.” you tell him (though you’re mostly reminding yourself.) this is insane— satoru, what are you—”
you’re cut off when he shushes you, whispering let’s sleep in for a little while longer.
he starts to drift off again as you struggle to escape his grasp, but your efforts are futile. even on the throes of sleep, satoru is stronger than you.
so you give up, resigning yourself to a few more minutes of…cuddling. shoko isn’t a morning person anyways.
after a minute, you find it's not entirely awful. it’s a purely physical reaction. gojo is good looking, even with his hair mussed with sleep and his mouth hanging open. because you know that under the softness of his skin lays defined muscle, and spending the morning in his nicely toned arms isn’t the worst thing in the world.
(it’s purely physical, is what your head tries to convince your heart, which is beating a little faster than usual.)
a very soft, content sigh slips past your lips.
then, shoko knocks on your door.
“hey! don’t tell me you’re too hungover for grocery shopping.”
“shit!” you whisper harshly, shoving him away from you. “she cannot see you in here.”
“afraid you’ll have to share?” he teases, narrowly avoiding being hit with a pillow. “okay, okay! where do you want me?”
“closet!” you instruct, scrambling my around the room to make sure none of his clothes are lying around. you thrust them into his hands, pushing him into your closet.
he catches the door before you can close it, smiling down at you. “aren’t you glad we’re doing this?”
you shove him inside, slamming the door shut just ask shoko bursts into the room.
“hey,” you greet, trying your best to appear casual as you lean against the door. your heart beats in your throat, as she squints at you, then lets her gaze sweep across the room.
“did you bring someone home last night?”
“no.”
she looks at you. really looks at you, you think.
“okay,” she finally says, though you can’t tell if she believes you. “i just– i thought i saw you leave with gojo. suguru said you two were flirting all night.”
“gojo and i?” you try to laugh, but it comes out a little strained. “never in a million years.”
shoko only shrugs, and you let yourself relax when she turns to leave…
…only for her to turn around once more, leaning the the doorframe. “well if you really don't like him, just let him down easy, alright? suguru told me he has a huge crush on you.”
wait–
“gojo?”
you hear a sharp inhale through the door.
“yeah,” she nods. “you really couldn't tell?”
gojo…has a crush on you. it takes a few seconds to truly sink in. “i had no idea.”
“of course you didn't. he’s definitely got a really weird way of showing it.”
she turns to leave for real this time, but you wait a couple extra seconds before opening your closet, finding a wide eyed, blushing satoru staring at you.
you can't help but laugh. at his expression, at shoko’s revelation, at this entire situation.
dating sucks, but maybe it won’t be that bad if it’s with him.
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[ID: drawings of a golem animated by a palestinian flag painted on its forehead. it is seen: holding out its arms protectively in front of a crowd of children, the children also hold each other supportively; catching an air strike missile from the air and throwing it away or crushing it in its fist; turning its back so that a child can warm her hands by the earth oven built into its back, food in a pot is cooking on the fire and a boy holds a cup of steaming tea to his face and enjoys the aroma; clearing away rubble so a man can help up his wife who was buried underneath, she is clutching a baby to her chest; stooping down to look at a kitten a young boy is holding up to show it; and dissolving small flakes of clay from its finger into a glass of water, purifying it. end ID]
@fairuzfan asked people to create and share art for the strike. i wrote an artist statement and then set about trying to draw what i envisioned. artist statement below.
This golem is a protector that I wish I could gift to the children and adults in Gaza. The flag on its forehead is to show that love for the Palestinian people is an animating force for people fighting for a free Palestine all over the world, especially for those in Palestine who are trying to free themselves and their people. Love is the motivation for the call for a free Palestine, not hatred like people try to claim. It is very strong and fast and can catch air strikes out of midair and crush them to dust or throw them back in the direction they came from. It can lift all the rubble of a collapsed building very quickly so nobody can get trapped underneath. It has an earth oven in its back with an ever-burning flame that people can use to warm themselves and cook food and heat water to use to bathe themselves or make tea. Pieces of its clay can be crumbled up and mixed into water to make even the most brackish and unclean water pure and safe to drink.
The golem is always a bit of a tragic figure so I don't imagine it staying around forever once Palestine is free and it is no longer needed. I think it would use its great strength to help rebuild the destroyed houses, churches, schools, universities, hospitals, and mosques and then dive into the Jordan river and dissolve. It would clean the river of all pollution and make the water splash up over all the newly replanted fruit trees, causing them to grow big and strong. Its love for Palestine and its people can be tasted in the fruit they grow for generations.
I choose a specifically Jewish icon of protection because of how it feels to witness such horrors done in the supposed name of Judaism and the Jewish people. For many anti-zionist Jews, we feel like we are acting directly within the teachings of our stories and communities by opposing this genocide. It is difficult to understand how the very people and institutions who taught us these values now fight against them so fiercely. While obviously I would still oppose Israel were I not Jewish, the way I oppose Israel is directly informed by my Jewishness. I hope that someday, somehow, Judaism can bring as much joy and support to the Palestinian people as it has brought grief and destruction. That Jewish symbols used in the name of love and justice will bear more significance than the ones used in shows of hatred. Knowing the depth of the harm caused, I do not know if this is possible. But this artwork and everything I have dedicated myself to these past few months and continue to dedicate myself to in the future is born from this hope. I love you. Thank you for being on this planet with me. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free! And it will be beautiful.
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gimme a hand
okay so i saw a silly tiktok abt how guys take nudes wrong and thought our lovely best friend reader could help eddie take some !! i am a little tipsy so pls excuse any mistakes
mdni. 18+. smut. like, literally just smut. fem!reader x eddie. modern au
“so.. how are things with you and.. whatshername?” clicking your fingers in his face.
eddie scoffs, batting your hand away, “chrissy is her name,” correcting your childish behaviour, “and it’s good, we’ve been.. texting a little,” shrugging nonchalantly.
you and eddie had been best friends for years, though these hang outs were few and far between now. both too busy with the perils of adult life to sit around and smoke weed all day, like you used to.
that meant that your relationship had skewed a bit, no longer as close as you once were. though you still tried to feign an interest in his, mostly nonexistent, love life.
he understood though, your life was far too interesting to care about the very small roster of girls he was seeing.
“texting?” you exclaim, stubbing the embers of the joint out into the ashtray, “so you haven’t seen her since?”
eddie shakes his head, realising that what he had thought was an exciting update, was actually just a pathetic retelling of a long text thread.
“i think we’re just.. testing the waters,” brushing off your disappointment. he contemplates even telling you anymore but what kind of a best friend would he be if he didn’t at least tell you all the details. “she sent me pictures the other day,” wriggling his eyebrows.
“pictures?” a slight mocking tone to your voice that he doesn’t like, “what kinda pictures?”
his face scrunches up, cheeks flaming red, as if it wasn’t obvious. “you know.. naughty ones.”
you whistle, blowing the air from your cheeks in the most sarcastic manner, “naughty pictures.. wow eddie, you’re really moving up in the world. did you send any back?”
his head dips, regretful of ever sharing this with you. you had never had a lack of choice for guys lining up for you. even back in high school. of course you wouldn’t understand.
“no..” shrugging again, “i don’t.. don’t know how.”
“you don’t know how to send nudes?” utter shock rippling through your voice, “didn’t i teach you anything?”
“not how to send nudes!” he hits back, getting increasingly frustrated that you’d rather mock him than help him get laid for once.
“i can help you if you want,” you offer, “i don’t have to watch.. i can just.. guide you?” proposing the question as if it were a completely standard conversation for you two to be having.
“really?” his eyes bright and full of hope.
eddie really liked chrissy, she was sweet and the times they had hung out, they got on well. he just wasn’t equipped to match her flirting, afraid he’d overthink himself into losing her.
“sure,” you smile, grabbing his phone as you stand from the couch, “come on,” beckoning for him to follow you down the corridor to the bathroom.
you bundle into the trailers tiny bathroom, poised in front of the mirror with his phone in hand.
“you stand here..” you instruct, guiding him by the shoulders, “you need to get hard,” grinning as you look at him through the mirror, “i’ll stand outside and just.. tell you what to do, okay?”
eddie’s too high for this, wondering how you’d gone from a joint and a couple of beers to now helping him sext the girl he liked.
you disappear outside, shoving his phone into his chest, the knob clicking quietly as the realisation of what the hell he was doing sets in.
“so..” he poises, swiping onto the camera, posing himself in the dirty mirror, “pull my pants down, right?” wanting to make sure that he got nothing wrong.
“yeah, but not all the way, just like.. a little bit.”
okay, he thinks. tugging his sweatpants down just beneath his balls, his boxers following suit. he was getting hard just thinking about it, the fact that you were instructing him what to do wasn’t helping.
his fingers wraps around the base of his cock, pumping his fist a few times, stifling the groan that had settled in his throat.
this was already weird enough, he didn’t need to make it weirder.
“okay..” his voice quivering, “what now?”
you tut, “pull your shirt up.. or off, it looks bad otherwise.”
eddie does as you ask, taking his shirt off and tossing it into the floor with the rest of his dirty clothes. he peers at the image through the screen, inwardly cringing at how stupid he looked.
“i don’t know,” though his dick was already stiff, aching for him to continue. “i look stupid,” he frowns, attempting to position the phone differently, although nothing seemed to help his pathetic stature.
“no you don’t,” your voice rings through the door, “now you gotta pose it.. make it look good, sexy.”
his eyes squeeze shut, wishing you’d stop talking with that low growl in your voice. this was for chrissy’s benefit, not his. getting off to the sound of your voice while trying to arouse another girl was not the plan.
eddie exhales, opening his eyes to reposition the phone, closer to the mirror. his fist begging to move and finish the job.
nothing helped, in fact, it looked worse than before. chrissy’d block him if he dared sent anything like this.
fuck, he felt like a pervert. this was wrong. twisted.
“have you done it?” you call.
“no,” he gulps, frowning at the image of himself in the mirror.
you huff, knuckles wrapping against the door, “i’m gonna come in, okay?” giving him no time to think before you appear next to him in the mirror.
your eyes fall straight to his cock, widening every so slightly, “wow.. okay,” chuckling awkwardly as you snap back into it. “you have to..” your hand lowers his phone, straightening the camera position for him.
his breath is jagged, on the edge of exploding and splattering all over his bathroom. whatever buzz he had had from the weed had dissipated, replaced by the hazy tingly sensation of your hand near his cock.
“and then..” you look to him, in person this time, not through the safety of the mirror, before wrapping your fingers around the ones that were still lingering around his cock. “do this..” voice trailing off into a low whisper, using his fist to pump his already leaking cock.
a strangled gasp leaves his mouth, heat searing through his body. mind too fuzzy to truly comprehend the shit he was seeing and feeling.
the heat of your body presses against his back, delicate fingers still travelling the length of his cock, “film it,” not once letting your eyes fall from the side of his face while his stay firmly on the mirror in front.
maybe this way he could pretend it wasn’t real, that he was just watching some video and you weren’t actually jerking him off by-proxy.
eddie, ever obedient, presses the record button, sighing into his phone as your his hand continues to move.
his knees almost buckle, kept afloat by the sound of you panting into his ear. it was almost too much, his brain collapsing into itself as your hand takes over, ignoring the phone in his hand to continue making him whine and quiver like that.
the weight of your body presses him into the cold china basin, eyes travelling from his face to his dick and right back up again.
you could’ve told him to jump right now and he would’ve. other hand reaching around to grab onto whatever part of you he could get a grip on.
your lips trace against his neck, lingering against the skin. he couldn’t keep the phone straight, the video would just be some big blur of him groaning and the sink. not that it matters. not while you’re touching him.
“is this good?” you ask, breath tickling against his ear.
eddie nods rapidly, “good.. so good,” fingers twisting around your shirt as his eyes flutter closed. “fuck,” he gasps, the phone slipping from his hand onto the counter when your thumb circles the tip of his dick. an otherworldly feeling he had never been able to feel before.
“yeah?” you grit, pulling his hand, signalling for him to turn. his bones were jelly, body mailable and under your control. his back now pressed against the sink, foreheads pressed together.
one hand holds onto your hip while the other finds your cheek, lazily trying to connect your lips. your knee slides between his legs, spreading them just enough for your other hand to creep between and grab his balls.
“ohh shit,” eddie wails, kissing at your bottom lip, sucking at the skin.
nothing felt real, waiting for his alarm to pull him out of this fucked dream to a sticky puddle and a new perspective on your friendship.
your expert fingers fondle his balls while the other fists his dick, pre-cum making your fingers glisten and move with ease.
his throat squeaks, the most pitiful noise a grown man could’ve made, his bottom lip still latched onto yours.
ten years of friendship and yet the two of you had never even kissed before. wishing you wouldn’t have wasted so much time on actually doing it. a newfound adoration for the sweet taste of your lips and the friction of your palm rubbing against his cock.
“i’m gonna cum,” he babbles, stomach flipping, waves of pleasure crashing through his tingling limbs.
you don’t respond to his whining, your nose brushes over his as his breaths become shallow and staggered. a iron clad grip on your shirt as he teeters over the edge, hips stuttering into your palm.
“ohh fuck,” eddie mewls, bursting all over your hand, “shit.. fuck, oh god,” your eyes dark, gazing down at your hand still wrapped around him, somewhat proud of what you’ve achieved.
he lets go of his hold on your body, hurriedly trying to find the counter to ground himself. his head a million miles away on mars, his lack of thoughts disrupted by the sound of the water running.
chest still heaving as he braves a look at you, watching his release swirl down the drain. you’re chewing on your bottom lip, a sudden realisation that you had just made your best friend cum maybe. he doesn’t really want to ask. hoping you won’t regret it.
eddie picks up his phone, stopping the recording, his thumb shooting straight to the tiny trash can until you grab his wrist.
“don’t delete it,” a fire within your eyes, twisting the screen in your direction, “i wanna watch.”’
his finger hovers over the play button, looking to you though your eyes are trained on the screen, waiting for him to press play.
the video starts, shaky footage as the audio of his pathetic grunts and gasps fill the tiny bathroom. eddie can’t bring himself to watch, forcing himself to watch you rather than the video.
you’re smiling to yourself, smug at the sight of you making him crumble. he wants to be embarrassed, can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and yet, he doesn’t turn it off.
“maybe don’t send that..” you remark, finding his eye, that mischievous sparkle that eddie hadn’t seen in years, reappearing.
he needed to feel you, in the way that you had felt him. cock already reawakening when your lips twitch into a smirk.
shit.
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson stranger things
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sheep!reader going to a party w rafe? 🤍
warnings: icky!s1!rafe, heavy teasing, drug use, kelce and topper are kinda gross, public groping, smoking, peer pressure (?), sheep is slightly embarrassed but too shy to say anything, a little bit of rough handling, suggestive language, rafe saying he’ll ‘share’ sheep..
a/n: season one rafe has me by my neck rn..
“well, look who we have here!” topper lifted his head from the white line he was about to snort off of the coffee table before scooting over, making room on the sofa for you and rafe to squeeze between him and kelce. rafe was all smiles when he pulled you onto his lap, your cheeks heating as you felt your dress ride up your thighs. “i didn’t think we’d ever see you at a party..” topper leaned in, the close proximity making a shiver run down your spine. truth be told, you didn’t think you’d ever be seen at a party either, but here you were, your boyfriend’s fingers slipping under your dress while two of his best friends watched you with lustful eyes.
it had taken a good portion of the evening for rafe to convince you to come out with him, your heart hammering in your chest the whole ride over here. not knowing what to say, you hid your face in rafe’s chest, all three of them laughing at your shy demeanor. “aww, come on, let us see that pretty face.” you stayed hidden, rafe’s large palm kneading your flesh as he reached for the bong on the table. “kelce, ‘you light me up?” you heard the flicker of a lighter, peeking up from rafe’s shirt as he inhaled from the glass structure, the sound of bubbles filling up your ears.
rafe took a long drag, holding the smoke in for a few moments before blowing all of it in your face, making you gasp softly before you started coughing. your eyes watered, the two boys on either side of you dabbing each other up as they found amusement in your obvious discomfort. “rafe..” you whispered, a pout adorning your lips while he pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot on your neck. you couldn’t help the small whimper from leaving your lips, the sound drawing both topper and kelce’s attention. “damn, rafe, when are you gonna let us get in on this?” kelce placed a hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin.
“forreal, this shy little thing is just so cute.” topper added, his hand finding the small of your back. rafe could tell by the nervous look on your face that you weren’t sure how to react, his facial expression turning into one of amusement. “tell you what..” he stroked the side of your face, “give me a bump and we can share.” seeing the way your eyes widened was almost comical, topper wasting no time in scooping some of the blow onto his finger tip. “give this to him, sweetheart.” instinctively, you accepted his digit, letting him lay the blow on the back of your hand.
holding your hand up to rafe’s nose, he covered one of his nostrils, snorting the powder until only a little bit of residue was left. “lick it.” rafe gripped the back of your neck, him and his friends staring at you intently. “yeah, do it, baby.” “you’ll feel so good..” you swallowed thickly, your eyebrows drawing together as they watched your tongue lick a small stripe up your skin. apart of you was scared of the after effects of this stuff, but still, you obeyed. rafe was smiling ear to ear, his corruption kink going off the charts right now. “what the fuck!” topper laughed, both him and kelce sitting in disbelief.
“she really fucking did it?!” kelce moved closer, your boyfriend roughly grabbing your cheeks as he shook your head around. “of course she did,” he cupped you through your panties, “she’ll do whatever i tell her to.. right, ‘pretty?” you nodded, gripping rafe’s forearm as topper moved your hair to one side of your frame. “come on, man, just a taste.” rafe pulled you into a kiss, his palm coming up to cup your tits over the lacey material of your dress. despite his earlier words, rafe was far too greedy to share you with anyone. “not a fucking chance, thornton.”
#❤︎₊ ⊹ works#₊˚⊹♡ rafe#₊˚⊹♡ sheep!reader#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outerbanks rafe#obx#rafe obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#outer banks rafe#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#drew starkey
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CUPIDS CHOKEHOLD , spencer reid
pairing boyfriend!spencer x fem!reader
synopsis you decide to visit spencer during his lunch break. unbeknownst to you, the team has been waiting for your arrival since they found out about you and spencer’s relationship.
genre fluff, reader is described with a cheugy/funky kind of style, and just overall teasing from the team lol.
standing in the mirrored elevator, you took in your appearance one last time. your patterned tights, babydoll dress, denim jacket, and colorful accessories were nothing out of the ordinary for you. you took pride in your sense of fashion, not caring how others perceived you.
spencer made it known to you almost daily how much he adored the way you styled yourself. your whimsical and girly attire added the perfect contrast to his “grandpa attire” as you liked to call it.
returning your tube of lipgloss to its desired spot, you heard the faint ding of the elevator, alerting you of your arrival. you took a deep breath before walking up to the secretary at the counter. the building was sleek and shiny, only emphasizing your appearance.
the brunette welcomed you, asking for your id before you heard your name being called by an all too familiar voice. “she’s with me; actually, no need to call in or anything.” spencer grabbed the visitors badge and clipped it to the pocket of your jacket before looking at you.
“hey spence,” you giggled, adjusting his glasses that had gone askew from his evident rush to get to you. he blushed as you slid your hand to the side of his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek softly.
he grabbed your hand and led you into what you deemed to be the “bullpen” spencer had mentioned to you before. your boots clicked on the ground, muffled by the sounds of the bau.
many workers turned and looked, unfamiliar with your presence and even more shocked that you were with spencer. he looked at you, noticing your wondering eyes. “it’s a little hectic right now, sorry.” he pulled you into his cubicle, already having a chair ready for you.
“its actually really cool seeing this place for the first time. it really is like the tv shows.” he almost laughed at your childlike awe, reaching over to roll your chair closer to his own. satisfied with your positioning, spencer moved a few folders and notebooks from his desk to make room for your shared food.
you could only get one bite in before a presence appeared behind you. “you invited mrs. genius here, and you didn’t tell anyone?” two hands came to grab spencer by his shoulders, causing him to jump slightly.
the man smiled at you with possibly the whitest teeth you had ever seen. his broad shoulders, stature, and dark skin made him almost god-like. “morgan-“ spencer began before another head peaked around him.
“the woman, the myth, the legend!” the shorter blonde woman gasped, walking over to you. spinning your chair so that you were facing her entirely, her eyes lit up. “you are literally the cutest thing i have ever seen. boy wonder, why haven’t you brought her in sooner?” the nickname made you laugh, looking at spencer to see the embarrassed look on his face.
“morgan and garcia, back off before you scare the poor girl away.” a dark-haired woman leaned against the desk behind you. soon after, another blonde and two older men crowed around you.
they waited eagerly as spencer introduced you, looking between you two as if this were the best thing they had ever seen. “it’s nice to meet you all. spence has told me so much about you guys.” you rose from your seat, shaking their hands so as not to come off as unprofessional in such a serious building.
even if it contradicted their previous actions…
“she even has a nickname for him, oh derek hold me before i pass out from the beauty of young love.” penelope held her hand to her heart, leaning into the man beside her as he rolled his eyes from her antics.
“she was nearly this dramatic when she noticed the picture spencer put up of you on his desk.” rossi pointed at the item you had failed to notice as you arrived.
tucked beside his computer, a small black and white photobooth strip stared back at you. memories of the early bits of your relationship flooded your mind.
you smiled lightly at the last panel, remembering how nervous you had been to kiss spencer on camera. he looked up at you, mirroring your expression.
the team continued to interrogate you, asking about where the two of you met, your first date, who asked out who first, almost as if they were profiling you.
spencer sighed at the realization, clearly annoyed at your alone time being interrupted. you noticed, sitting back down beside him and looking at him to reassure him that you were fine.
“glad to see she really likes him and wasn’t paid.” emily nodded towards spencer’s cheek. a light pink kiss mark adorned his skin, making the rest of the team snicker before he wiped it off with the back of his hand.
“are you guys trying to scare her away?” spencer whined, feeling like a boy introducing his first girlfriend to his embarrassing family.
“come on, reid, we’re only messing with you.” jj perched her hand on her hip, smiling at you warmly. “we’ll let you guys be for now, but don’t leave too soon. we have to give her a tour!” penelope insisted, turning to the group as they all shook their heads in agreement.
“that’d be nice, thank you.” you replied before turning back to your boyfriend. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” spencer mumbled, leaning into your side.
you ruffled his hair, “i see why you talk about them so much. they clearly care about you a lot.” you looked over your shoulder, catching them spying from one of the conference rooms.
smirking you turned back to spencer, kissing his cheek once more before you continued to eat and talk about what you’d plan to do after he got off work.
after you finished your mostly uninterrupted lunch, you were swept away by penelope as she gave you your promised tour. showing you everyone’s office, the break room, multiple conference rooms, and even the dingy locker room in the very back.
after one tight hug from morgan, a promise for a girls night from penelope, some teasing from jj and emily, and more typical goodbyes from hotch and rossi, you were finally walking back to your car.
you expected spencer to just walk you back to the elevator, but your face quickly lit up when he stepped inside, pulling you flush against him and pressing a button to make the doors close.
“finally have you alone.” he mumbled before crashing his lips to yours. you gasped at his sudden boldness, highly due to the lack of curious eyes, and moved your hands to rest behind his neck.
his hands went under your jacket, yearning to be close to you but having enough sense to not pull anything too risky. “i’ve been wanting to do that since you’ve got here.” he pulled away shortly before the ding of the elevator announced your arrival.
you just grabbed his hand and pulled him along side you. “they were really sweet, spence. i’m happy you work with people that are so much like a family.” as you made it to your car you turned around, your back leaning against your trunk as spencer came to stand in-front of you.
“they’re nosey like one, for sure.” he joked, bringing his hand to rest on your hip once again. you sighed before reaching up to kiss him one last time. “i’ll see you tonight.” you promised, squeezing his hand before it left yours in his return to work.
before you got in your car, you turned around looking up to see six familiar faces looking right back at you.
just something i thought of off a whim because i saw an edit of the bau to 400 lux by lorde and got SOOOOO emotional. like thats my family fr!!!! hope you enjoyed<333
#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#criminal minds
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Fred’s Baby Girl : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc
summary: after being photographed looking more than comfortable, the fans soon learn that fred isn’t the only vasseur that charles is fond of…
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liked by leclercgirl01, ferarriforthewin and 3,593 others
f1gossip: during the summer break, several photos have emerged of charles leclerc enjoying his holiday with the daughter of ferrari team principal fred vasseur. we’re uncertain if the pair were holidaying alone or with a group of friends, but either way they’re sure looking cosy 🏎️
731 comments
username1: watch them now try and convince us that they’re not dating 😂
username2: can’t wait to see fred’s reaction to this news…
username3: I did think yn was attending more races recently 🤔
username4: look at those smiles 🤩
username5: this was not on my bingo card for 2024
username6: I’m surprised how good they look together ngl
username7: can’t wait for charles to see fred after these pictures 😂
username8: I feel like fred is too soft for charles to be mad about this 🤨
username9: father fred and son charles era pending…
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 583,018 others
ynvasseur: another lovely weekend supporting the best team in f1 and cheering on charles and carlos ❤️
31,472 comments
username10: not yn pretending that she was there for both of the boys 😂
username11: notice how it’s charles’ garage that she posts tho
landonorris: omg just give the fans what they want yn 😫
username12: yn just pretending like nothing is even happening rn
pierregasly: I refuse to believe that pr didn’t have to approve this post first with how noncommittal it is 😂
ynvasseur: @/pierregasly I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about 🤷🏻♀️
username13: I don’t blame you girl, who could resist charles leclerc 🔥
charles_leclerc: it was lovely to see you in the garage this weekend 🥺
username14: wonder how close of an eye fred is keeping on her this weekend 😉
scuderiaferrari: it’s always a pleasure to have you with us yn ❤️
username15: stop leaving us in suspense, we promise we’ll be happy for you!!
carlossainz55: it’s always a joy to have you there and annoy you yn 😝
ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 you do such a good job of it too 🙃
username16: charles keeping his reply pg but he’s not convincing any of us 😂😂
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liked by charlesbbygirl, tifosi99 and 4,391 others
f1gossip: seemingly confirming their relationship, photos have been shared of charles and yn around the ferrari garage looking cosy together, not appearing to care who was around to see them, especially yn’s father fred!
519 comments
username17: how can these two people think they can convince us they’re single 😂
username18: poor carlos is officially the ferrari third wheel!
username19: that second photo makes me think he’s not seen fred yet 😂
username20: is anyone really sitting here thinking these two aren’t dating??
username21: I was at the paddock this weekend and every time I saw charles yn was right there with him too…
username22: can’t wait for boyfriend!charles to reappear once again!!
username23: they’re more than just cosy together ngl
username24: just me thinking this is sad how their privacy is getting completely invaded rn 🤯
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 601,372 others
ynvasseur: did you really think the two of them wouldn’t still be the best of friends? oh, and congrats on the win too charles 😂❤️
58,381 comments
username25: forever my favourite principal and driver relationship 🥰
charles_leclerc: so happy you got to be there to see your first win of mine irl 💕
ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc wouldn’t have missed it for the world 🫶🏻
username26: none of us ever thought fred would be anything other than your biggest fan ngl
pierregasly: do I now have to fight your dad too for the position of charles’ best friend???
username27: yn just confirming that fred gives them the green light like it’s no biggie ✅
georgerussell63: I never knew your dad had such a side like this in him 😂
ynvasseur: @/georgerussell63: he’s crazier than me I swear!!
username28: fred looks like such a proud dad 😭😭
carlossainz55: so glad I don’t have to listen to him moan about how scared he is to see your dad anymore 🤦🏻♂️
username29: where are you in all these photos we miss you with them!?
arthur_leclerc: now we’ve got fred’s approval I guess we can officially welcome you into the family 🤝
ynvasseur: @/arthur_leclerc can’t wait to meet you guys properly ❤️
username30: it’s funny to me that charles had to explain himself more to fred then any member of his actual family 😝
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liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 2,038,363 others
charles_leclerc: who knew fred wasn’t actually the coolest vasseur after all 😂 turns out it’s this one who makes me feel like I’m really winning at life 💞
318,059 comments
username31: these two were simply made for each other 🥹
arthur_leclerc: so you can take her on all these holidays but not bother to bring her home to meet us??
charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc we’ll be there soon enough, don’t worry!
username32: I might’ve just shed a tear or two reading that caption
lewishamilton: I’m already on the back foot and not even joined the team yet now 😂
carlossainz55: and I thought it was being my teammate that made you feel like you were winning at life 💔
username33: yn must be pretty cool to be considered even cooler than her dad 😂
danielricciardo: you’ve for a girlfriend?? you should’ve mentioned it 😱
username34: they’re both equally as awesome as the other imo!!
pierregasly: does this now make you an honorary vasseur for life?
username35: it’s not fair how one person really can have it all 😭
ynvasseur: for the record I’m better than my dad at everything 😉
charles_leclerc: @/ynvasseur let’s get you behind the wheel of an f1 car and put that to the test??
ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc I’d like to take back my original statement 😂
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liked by iamrebeccad, charles_leclerc and 601,372 others
ynvasseur: let’s be honest, he never really needed to impress my dad anyway 🥹
49,473 comments
charles_leclerc: fred told me he adored me and I’m never gonna shut up about it 🥰
ynvasseur: @/charles_leclerc I’d crack a joke but I think he actually might prefer you to me 😬
username36: we all know charles is the favourite child deep down ☺️
oscarpiastri: charles does not stop talking about how amazing your dad is btw
ynvasseur: @/oscarpiastri he’s only doing that to make sure he keeps my dad on side!!
username37: the relationship these two have is the sweetest 🥹
carlossainz55: can confirm that this was definitely the case!
username38: I feel like it won’t be long before yn is actually third wheeling fred and charles instead
maxverstappen1: everyone in the paddock knows no one loves charles more than your dad 😂
username39: if I didn’t adore these two before, I definitely do now they’re together too
landonorris: you deserve a medal for putting up with him yn 😂
username40: these captions are honestly gold 🔥
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#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one#formula 1 x you#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc social media#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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Girl back home
Pairing: Logan Sargeant x wife!reader
Warnings: cursing (I think)
Authors note: this took forever, but now I can actually work on whiv now that I’ve finished this
Summary: Everyone keeps trying to set Logan up, but no one bothers to ask if he's already got a girl (surprise! he does!)
Word Count: 4.2k (jesus)
“What about her? she’s pretty,” Alex asks as he points at the five hundredth model to walk past the Williams garage that day.
If it hadn’t been his home race, Logan might have walked away an hour ago when Alex’s pointing started but instead, he stayed, choosing to endure Alex’s unrelenting matchmaking.
“No, Alex. I’ve already said no to about 50 other girls you’ve pointed out, what makes you think she’d be different,” Logan groans, his head leaning back to rest against the wall behind them.
Alex purses his lips, a frown on his face, “Why won’t you let me get you a girlfriend?”
Logan pauses to stare at the ceiling of the garage for a second before he turns his head to face the man next to him, “I don’t need a girlfriend.”
“Yeah sure man, I’ve seen you stare quietly at a wall by yourself more times than you’d probably admit. If that doesn’t scream “I need a girlfriend” then I don’t know what does,” Alex shrugs before turning back to face away from his friend, his hand coming back up to point at a pretty-faced blonde girl making her way past the garage, even smiling when she locks eyes with Logan, “Ooh what about her? She seems to like you!”
Logan just hums in response, his eyes closing as he leaves Alex to talk to himself.
In reality, Logan truly didn’t need a girlfriend. He had something even better, a wife. Who also happened to be you. You had met when you were kids and had been in love ever since. You liked to joke that it was love at first sight but every time you said it, Logan would wonder how much of a joke it really was.
You had been there for every step in his career, through the wins and the losses, through karting to Formula racing. So when he proposed after the end of the f3 season in 2020, no one close to you was really surprised.
You got married shortly after, neither one of you wanting a big, flashy wedding. Instead, the wedding was small but still nice, just some close friends and family in attendance. Even Oscar had been there and he made sure to reference the event to everyone who wouldn’t understand when around Logan. He loved to talk about the “party” Logan had in 2020 to the other drivers who, frankly, had no idea what he meant.
When he got his move to Formula One, you were over the moon for him. You didn’t worry about long-distance. You had made it work in the past and you both had total confidence in each other to make it work. You continued your degree in engineering and he continued his career in racing. You tried to make it to races when school would let you, which wasn’t often, and he was more than happy to fly you out when he could.
Logan genuinely loved you more than anything. With that being said, this meant that he did not have the time of day for anyone trying to set him up with the Instagram model of the week who had decided to visit a garage.
But at the same time, he also didn’t feel the pressure to share your marriage with anyone. He didn’t really know any of the other drivers very well and if they wanted to know more about him, they could ask. It’s just that no one ever did.
Except, it seems, when they wanted to set him up.
“Hey, Logan!” A British voice calls out to the American, whose head shoots up at the uncommon voice.
“What’s up, mate?” The blonde asks Lando, pocketing the phone where he had just been texting you to ask about your engineering final.
Lando grins and places a hand on the American's shoulder, raising his voice to be heard above the sounds of the paddock, “I was talking to Oscar and he mentioned something about your love life and something about you being lonely, I don’t really remember what he said but anyway, I’m talking to this girl and she has this friend who I think would be perfect for you.”
Logan’s face drops at the brunette's words, a frown replacing his smile, “I’m cool Lando, thanks though.”
Lando furrows his eyebrows, disbelief written on his features, “You sure, mate? She’s sooooo fine.”
Logan just nods his head in response, backing away from the McLaren driver slowly, “Yeah I’m sure Lando, you have fun thinking about your girlfriend’s friend though.”
Lando doesn’t seem to catch the diss as he just glances up and down at Logan before shaking his head and turning on his heel to head back to his garage. Logan sighs before taking his phone back out of his pocket to see another text from you. A grin breaks out on his face as he sees your name.
Logan hadn’t talked to very many of the drivers on the grid, often feeling on the outs of a lot of conversations. So he’s even more surprised to see Charles Leclerc making his way toward him at a club. A club he had only agreed to come to so he coule be Oscar's designated driver, by the way.
“Eyyy, it’s the American!” Charles says, the alcohol clearly present in his voice. The lights are too dimmed but if they were brighter, Logan would be able to see the lipstick smudges around his white collar.
“Hey, Charles,” Logan replies, scepticism laced in his voice. The Monegasque leans closer to him, the drink in his hand sloshing around in the cup.
“I have something to tell you,” Charles slurs a bit, leaning dangerously before a pretty brunette comes up and grabs him, based on her lipstick shade compared to Charles’ shirt, she had already been more than acquaintances with him before this conversation.
Logan glances at the pair before responding dryly, “Oh no.”
Charles grins before pointing back to where he had come from, a dark-haired girl sitting at the table, “That’s Natalie.”
“Navaeh,” the brunette pipes up to correct Charles as he nods in response.
“Yeah, Nivia. Anyway, she’s a friend of mine and she’s been eyeing you all night, thought you’d want her number.”
Logan rolls his eyes at the very clearly drunk couple in front of him, increasing his headache from the pounding EDM, “What an assumption there Charles. I’m actually good though.”
“What?” Charles asks, squinting to see the blonde under the club lights.
“No thanks,” Logan smiles tightly before moving to step around the couple and probably tell Oscar that either they were both leaving or Oscar was getting an Uber, “You guys have a good night though.”
The couple is already too busy sucking face to realize he’s left.
“I just don’t understand why they keep trying to set me up, I’m perfectly happy with you,” Logan complains to you over the phone a few nights later.
You were sat in your dorm, engineering work strewn across your desk and your roommate at a party somewhere. You were trying to get as much work done as possible before Logan came to Austin for the GP so you could spend the weekend with him.
“I mean, have you told them you’re married?” You ask, trying to stifle a yawn as your hand moves to write down the equation for the problem in front of you.
Logan shakes his head, the movement almost imperceptible through the small phone screen, “Nah, but it’s just that no one’s asked you know? I’m just waiting for someone to say “Hey Logan, you got a girl back home?” Before they try and set me up with some Instagram model they know.”
You smile softly as he talks, his hands moving to mess with his blond hair periodically. He eventually looks back to the screen once he’s done ranting and is met with your smiling face filling his phone screen, “What?”
“I love you,” you say warmly, your grin practically splitting your face.
Logan blushes before laughing and shaking his head to hide the redness on his face, “I love you too. I’ll see you next week yeah?”
You look down at the now-completed homework in front of you. Homework that could’ve taken about 2 fewer hours if you weren’t on call.
“Yeah I’m done with this. I’ll turn it into my professor tomorrow and after that I am free. When do you get in?” You ask, shuffling the papers together and sliding them into your bag before moving out of your chair and flopping onto your bunk, sleep clouding your eyes.
“Uhh,” Logan pauses, glancing at his suitcase. In reality, he was supposed to get in twenty two hours and six minutes from when he hung up the call, his flight leaving in three hours and arriving in Austin after a 16 hour flight and a 2 hour layover in DFW followed by an hour long flight to Austin. He would effectively be arriving about a week before any of the other drivers. Besides maybe Daniel. But he couldn’t say any of that. He wanted to surprise you, especially now that you had no work to do. So instead he just hums, “Next week I think.”
“That’s great, babe,” you yawn, a small smile on your lips at the idea of him being back with you again, “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Yeah?” Logan grins.
You hum, your eyes drifting closed slightly, “Yeah.”
Logan notices your less-than-awake state and finally decides to end the call, “Goodnight, I love you.”
You yawn again, your eyes fluttering shut, “Good morning Logan, I love you too.”
The call ends quickly after and Logan glances at the time, grinning when he sees the 8:24 am displayed on his phone screen. You’d both had to deal with the difference in time zones for so long, you probably had all the time zones memorized. Or at least you remembered enough to call out good morning instead of goodnight while he was in Qatar.
His flight touches down twenty-two hours later and the first thing he does is call you.
“Hey what's up?” It's about 10:30 in Austin and the only thing you were doing was picking up barbeque from this place on the edge of campus that your roommate had been raving about.
“Not much, just bored,” Logan replies, his eyes scanning the background of the face time call for where you could possibly be this late.
You glance down at your phone for a second to do the same, eyebrows furrowing, “Where are you? It looks dark.”
Logan glances around slightly before replying, “In a car,” he wasn't lying, he really was in a car. Just one that was ubering to your campus instead of one with his team in Qatar, “Where are you? It's like 10 pm over there.”
“Just picking up some food,” you reply, eyes looking over the moonlit sidewalk that threads through the well-kept grass that surrounds you.
“This late?”
You laugh, “I slept through dinner.”
Logan smiles before sliding forward slightly when the car stops, “Are you just going back to your dorm?”
You look around quickly, “Yeah it's like a quarter mile back though.” You tighten your grip on the bag in your hand, the plastic having started to slip. Maybe your Ugg slides hadn't been the best choice for this walk but you'd manage.
“Oh yeah I know where you are, I remember eating at that place last time I was there,” Logan pulls his suitcase out of the trunk and tips the driver, checking periodically to make sure you hadn't clocked him.
“Yeah yeah, really good stuff and the owner remembered me today, guess I've been there enough times,” You laugh, starting to move back in the direction of your dorm once again.
By the time you had stopped to readjust the bag of food and your shoes, Logan had already started to speedwalk in the direction of your dorm. As he walks he passes enough drunk college kids to fill the football stadium they had all visited so many times.
You're walking pretty slowly, enjoying the moonlight shining brightly on the campus. Your shoes definitely weren't making you any faster to be fair.
“You turn your assignment in?” Logan asks, hoping you don't notice his eyes darting around the campus in search of you.
You nod, reaching a hand up to rub at your sleepy eyes, “Yeah, he even gave me extra credit for turning it in so early.”
Logan nods absentmindedly and you raise an eyebrow as you watch him do it before his eyes lock on something and he abruptly ends the call, “I've got to go, love you!”
You stand staring at your phone with a confused look on your face for a moment, words dying on the tip of your tongue. Weird.
You shake your head before moving to walk again, Logan's weird actions at the forefront of your mind.
Before you can even take a step, someone calls out your name and you turn quickly to see Logan standing there with the biggest grin on his face.
You gasp and wrap him in a bone-crushing hug warmth spreading through you from his arms. You move to spread kisses all across his face and for a few minutes, you both just stand there, not having seen each other in a few months and taking the time to readjust.
“I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulder, unexpected tears starting to spring from your eyes.
He just sets you down before wrapping a hand around the side of your face, “I missed you too.”
You bring a sweater-clad hand up to wipe away a tear before grabbing the food in one hand and grabbing his hand in the other, starting to lead him back to your dorm.
He grabs his suitcase as you start moving, “Is your roommate here?”
“No, you know how she is. She'll be with her new boyfriend for a few weeks so we're fine,” you wave away his question as you walk toward the building a few hundred feet away.
He smiles in response, “Hope you got enough food for two.”
You just laugh joyously.
A week and a half later, you’re stood in the hotel room Logan’s team had provided him, the room much nicer than your cramped dorm room. You had spent the last 12 days exploring Austin with your husband, making up for the time spent away from each other.
You had accidentally slept through Logan’s departure for the morning, waking up to a text explaining that, with your busy class schedule, he wanted you to get as many days of sleeping in as possible but he had gotten you breakfast and it was currently sitting in the kitchen.
You smiled at the text, appreciating Logan’s thoughtfulness. In the kitchen was a coffee from your favourite coffee shop as well as a McGriddle from McDonalds, which, no doubt, hurt Logan to order considering he wasn’t allowed to eat them.
You quickly ate the food, texting Logan to thank him. He texts back surprisingly quickly, considering he was supposed to be in a meeting.
He filled you in on how his morning had gone before asking when you’d get to the paddock for the race. You replied that you’d be there soon, quickly sliding on a light jacket over your tank top and jean shorts, preparing for the Austin heat.
Considering you had never been in the COTA paddock before, you would rather be in any situation other than your current one. There were about three hours until the race and you had no idea where the Williams garage was. You had gotten in just fine but, for some reason, you couldn’t find the blue of the Williams employees anywhere.
Logan wasn’t answering his phone, which you expected considering he had already been reprimanded for being on his phone during a meeting once this morning. Now you were left by yourself, trying to navigate the busy paddock.
You were somehow in a sea of orange, eyebrows furrowed. You turn in a quick circle, eyes setting on a curly-haired man in an orange polo who you take a few quick steps towards, hoping he can help you with directions.
“Excuse me,” you call out to the man who turns around swiftly, eyes pulling across your figure before landing on your face.
“How can I help you, love?” The man replies, a British accent laced through his voice and a sharp grin on his rosy lips.
You glance around slightly, leaning away from the man’s hungry gaze, “Do you know where the Williams garage is?”
He nods his head but keeps his eyes locked on your face, his smirk unfaltering, “Yeah, yeah, it’s just down that way.”
He points to nowhere in particular, moving to lean against the wall you’re standing near, “What’s your name, darling?”
You have to hide the smirk that tries to escape you at the fact that this man clearly has no idea you were married and also clearly thought you’d be an easy girl to flirt with considering his unwavering confidence.
You tell him your name and a grin breaks out on his face, “Pretty name, I’m Lando.”
Ah, so this was Lando. You had only ever seen him with his helmet on and from what you heard from Logan, his current behaviour made perfect sense. Logan hadn’t talked a lot about the Brit but he had mentioned him a few times considering he was Oscars teammate.
You hum, glancing around amusedly around the garage. You and Lando talk for a few more moments before a shorter figure clasps a hand on his shoulder. You lock eyes with the newcomer, grinning when you see a familiar boy standing behind Lando.
"Hey Osc," You smile at the Aussie. Oscar glances sideways at Lando, eyes shifting across his face before they turn to you. You just smile sweetly at the man who reciprocates the grin back at you.
"Hey," Lando glances confusedly between the two of you at Oscar's response. When Lando's confusion goes on a bit too long, Oscar turns and swings an arm around your shoulder, effectively moving the both of you away from the still-confused McLaren driver.
"I assume you're looking for Williams, then?" Oscar asks, running his free hand through his hair which had already begun to stick to his forehead from the Austin heat.
You hum in affirmation, sliding your sunglasses down your nose as the two of you step into the sun to make your way to your husband's garage.
Oscar makes conversation as he pulls you along, talking to you about how his season had gone and also asking a lot of questions about your engineering classes.
“I’d do a video for you, shock all your classmates,” Oscar says when you tell him you had to do a presentation explaining the engineering behind a piece of machinery and you had chosen a Formula 1 car.
You laugh, shaking your head as you do, “Yeah? I'd take you up on that, but I have a driver who'd be much easier to get a video from.”
Oscar snorts, smiling as you reach the Williams garage, “Lando?”
You roll your eyes as the name leaves his lips, hitting the back of his head with the small bag in your hands, “Don't get me started on Lando. You know he tried to set Logan up with one of his friends?”
Oscar furrows his eyebrows, “What?”
“Yeah, Lando said you told him Logan’s love life was lonely or something like that,” You reply, glancing around passively in search of your husband.
Oscar somehow manages to furrow his eyebrows even deeper, mouth opening and closing in disbelief, “That’s not what I said at all.”
“Tell him that.”
You both walk into the garage after that, you move to make conversation with Benny who’s sat to the side, surprise crossing his face as he sees you.
Oscar, though, spots Logan and makes his way to him quickly. He clasps a hand on the blonde's back who turns to face him with a grin, “What’s up Osc?”
“Lando was flirting with your wife,” Oscar states flatly, trying to push down the grin on his face.
Logan blinks a few times in an attempt to understand what the Aussie just said, “What- why?”
“Don’t think he knew she was your wife, mate.”
Logan rolls his eyes before turning around slightly to resume his conversation with his engineer. He stops mid-turn and swings back around to Oscar quickly, eyes wide, “My wife’s here?”
Oscar laughs at the American's face, stepping out of his line of sight so he can see you conversing with Benny.
Logan grins, sliding past the other boy to step toward you as quick as he can, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Oscar can’t hear what you two say to each other but he can see the love painting your faces as Logan plants a kiss on the top of your head. Benny smiles at the two of you, walking away to let you two talk.
As Oscar leaves the Williams garage, he briefly debates telling Lando you were married, especially to Logan, but he eventually decides not to. He’d figure it out eventually. Also might help to have him learn the hard way.
You sat in the garage for the entire race. But when Logan ends the race in eight, you’re jumping up happily to follow the Williams employee guiding you to where he’ll be.
The moment he’s done being weighed, he runs over to you, pulling his helmet off and unzipping his suit to his hips.
He grasps the side of your face, pulling you to him as he kisses you softly. He pulls away slightly and rests his forehead against yours, lifting a hand to grab the one you have against the side of his face, fingers brushing over your wedding ring.
“Thank you for being here. I love you.”
You can’t help the lovely laugh that escapes you, throwing your head back a bit to escape the heat rising on your cheeks, “I love you too, dork. I’m so proud of you.”
He smiles before leaning to catch you in another kiss.
Lando had finished the race in 4th. Not bad considering who had finished in front of him. He’d already talked to his team so he was now just roaming around, looking for someone to talk to.
He locks eyes on you and takes a few steps toward you before someone comes running past him. He looks over to see Logan grasping your face in his hands before pulling you down into a kiss.
He can’t help but stand in shock for a few moments although he can sense a couple people walking up next to him. He glances beside him to see Charles and Alex, both also staring at Logan in disbelief.
“What the hell?” Lando asks, to no one in particular. Luckily, or unfortunately, for him, someone has an answer.
“Are you lot staring at Logan and his wife?” Lando doesn’t look over to catch the amused look on Oscar’s face as he asks the question. But Alex does, and he furrows his eyebrows at the younger man.
“Sorry?” Alex asks the Aussie who just smiles and turns back to the couple, still smiling in each other's embrace.
Charles is the first one to notice anything and he smacks the other two on the head when he does, “They’re both wearing wedding rings.”
Alex blinks for a second, caught in the strange reality that he hadn’t noticed his teammate wearing a wedding ring the whole season. He pulls out his phone to go through old photos and low-and-behold, Logan’s wearing a ring in every single one.
“Jesus Christ,” Lando mumbles, running a hand through his damp curls, “I flirted with her.”
“Yeah,” Oscar nods, hands on his hips, “I probably wouldn’t talk to Logan for a while if I were you. Unless you want to find out how they do it in Florida.”
Lando gulps at the boy's words, of course, having no idea how they “do it” in Florida but only assuming he’d end up with a black eye. Oscar has to stifle a laugh, knowing Logan would most likely just laugh it off if Lando genuinely apologized. Not that Lando would.
Oscar's eyes drift across the trio of confused drivers, most likely all going through their memories of the times they had tried to set Logan up.
“You told me he was lonely,” Lando finally whines out, turning back to Oscar who shakes his head.
“I told you he was lonely because his girlfriend couldn’t make it to any of the races. If you would listen, you would’ve heard that part.”
Lando has no defence to that and turns his head back again to watch as Logan laughs at something you said, fingers intertwined together.
When the news spread across the paddock the next day, Logan received a lot of incredulous texts from drivers and employees alike, all shocked that he was in a relationship, let alone married.
Logan didn’t read any of them, he was too busy hanging out with you.
Except, of course, the message from Oscar that included three specific drivers all with their eyes wide as they stared at him and you.
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Tags: @casperlikej @evie-119
#scheduled#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 smau#logan sargeant x fem!reader#logan sargeant x you#logan sargent x reader#logan sargeant x reader
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