#so there is my justification bye

[cometblaster2070]

i'm too sleepy to properly make sense of this but i need someone to draw this asap pls and thank you.

basically 'ivan the terrible and his son ivan' as sasharcy angst but make it worse in the sense that sasha has actually killed marcy.

[reel-fear]

Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.

For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.

I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.

When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!

And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.

"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.

"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.

"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.

Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?

At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.

I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?

I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.

I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.

Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.

Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[attila-werther]

I feel so so normal right now

[goldenhare]

"However, it is important to balance the consideration of the unreliable narrator, with analysis of the characters as presented, and therefore the potential symbolic, if not literal, relevance of their actions to our understanding of them."

wow, i ate; kfldfdfs

[snekdood]

"TrANsMeN rEalLy nEeD tO HaVe wOmEn AroUnD TO NoT Be MiSoGyNiSTic 🤪" bitch i have great relationships w my mom and gma, i dont think it's on my end with this one

[scribblesofagoonerr]

when did she grow up so much? | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

this blurb is based around this request, i was lacking motivation to post it until now so i hope it does justification... 💗

"i don't like it, she's growing up way too quick!"

"well it was bound to happen one day,"

"yeah, but like, not like this! she's still so little-- what if someone pushes her down, or they hurt her?"

monkey for sure did struggle with the fact that buddy was growing up right in front of her eyes and it left her emotional, she didn't quite know how to handle it at all.

jordan and leah were left amused with the girls dramatics, they were both dreading this day but they knew it was a big milestone for their little girl.

"calm down, she's going to be fine, monkey."

"i think you're more worried about her than we are,"

"she's just so little... can't she wait like another year? she stay home, where's safe... right?"

buddy on the other hand was so excited about the idea of going to preschool and was practically racing towards the door to get there on the day, which was quite the opposite of how monkey felt about her favourite little buddy.

from waking up at the crack of dawn and getting herself dressed for the day, buddy was raring to go and explore her first day at preschool.

"we go in now?"

"slow down little miss, the doors' not even open yet. just wait a little bit."

"i wan' go in!"

"you can soon, i know you're excited but you can't go in just yet, buddy."

sure enough as soon as buddy got the chance to run inside, she was quick to make her escape away from her family, which left leah gobsmacked about the fact that buddy was so eager to run off without so much as a goodbye for them.

"she didn't even say bye,"

"she just ran in there, she left without even so much as a goodbye,"

"well looks like she couldn't wait to go in then,"

"my baby... when did she grow up so much?"

"and now whos' being emotional and dramatic, huh?

needless to say that it was a sad day for everyone to watch buddy hit that milestone and there was a whole lot of tears.

[deus-sema]

If Sauron and Galadriel's conflict is resolved in the last episode with just one fight, then it won't be surprising as such, to me atleast, because it has been done before. I've seen interesting canon compliant pairings being rushed and screwed because the writers chickened out when it came to exploring them at their full potential.

When it comes to RoP, however, it is a unique case in itself because if the writers were to sideline Saurondriel and act like nothing happened, then - even if it is a sudden and underwhelming resolution in every manner - they, reasonably, cannot be blamed for it because they have a perfect justification in form of canon to fall back on. It can be claimed that they were not obliged to deliver anything on the Sauron/Galadriel front because nothing was ever promised in the first place.

But, then, if that is what they intended to do all along, then they didn't really have to deliberately frame Sauron and Galadriel's scenes as romantic and emphasize on the tension between them in the first season. Halbrand could have been yet another companion Galadriel was friendly with like Elendil, Isildur and Theo and still turned out to be Sauron in Eregion. Why go through all that effort to build a narrative around their dynamic in the first place if it was meant to be dropped abruptly?

There is no logical way for the oliphaunt in the room that is their equation to be satisfactorily resolved in one scene. It'll take atleast one more season for the two of them to place all their cards before each other and face whatever is going on between them before moving on to the next stage in their arcs.

What we do know from interviews and the source material is that a) They have a 'cosmic' connection, b) This connection will be integral to the plot throughout the show. The information we have from the source material is that they were sworn enemies, once upon a time neighbours and Sauron, when not chasing the One Ring, is busy drunk dialing her through different numbers and getting blocked in the Third Age.

From all this, I can see either of the three possibilities occurring in the finale:

1) They duel each other, Galadriel spurns him and her darkness is overcome. Bye bye Sauron. But it will be an unsatisfactory conclusion.

2) They fight and Galadriel succumbs to her temptation. They spend S3 in each other's proximity before she gets away from him.

3) It's something in the middle and while Galadriel doesn't give in to him entirely, he takes her captive and tries to corrupt her next season. In the end, her willpower prevails over her temptation and she finds her way back to the light. S4 will be about the two of them dealing with the consequences of the fallout.

Like, I've said before the first outcome is, in my opinion, most predictable. The other two, however, will not only make more sense according to the narrative that has been built up until now but will genuinely manage to elicit surprise and anticipation for what the future seasons have in store.

All said and done, the writers knew what they were doing when they decided to exercise their artistic license and flesh out this relationship. Since they were already bold enough to undertake such a risk in the first place, they might as well see it through till the end.

Changing plans abruptly isn't going to bring anyone who has already denounced the show back. But the loyal audience and fanbase it has already garnered will stick to it and increase with time so the team better finish what they have started.

[monogatcri]

━━ ˟ ⊰🍁HE BRANDISHES WORDS LIKE A sword , more refined than last seen by very eyes that perceive him now. Although, Niwa would argue, far more tilted on the opposite side of scale. Instead of blade hammered too thin, its outward appearance had been molded thicker, heavier, clunky in its build. For some warriors, it works best for their body type ; for others, it drags them down during their journeys and weighs heavy upon their person.

        Mahogany orbs dance between gazing upon distant unfamiliar figures and Ren. Back when they were within the safety of Tatarasuna, newcomers were given skepticism only when signs were present, but this feels as though he'd come back to jade steel manufacturing clouding the eyes of friend.

        Those red pieces of fabric dazzled in the sunlight. It was almost captivating to the outsider. ❝ Do you know them? ❞ Question is valid in his eyes, yearning to believe that these individuals were of a...less than clean reputation. Fingers remain before him, wrapped gentle around his cup filled with frothing booze ; Djafar Tavern seemed a quaint spot in Sumeru, but Ren would know better on the topic.

❝ these people aren't FRIENDS, and they only have your worst interests at heart.  ❞ no pun intended.

@monogatcri &&. liked for a LYRIC STARTER.

[infiniteletters]

"why would you say we're omnipotent but also do a challenge to get something..?"

"oh you're omnipotent but also do xyz to get xyz and also pay me an insane price to give you tips and ticks that are actually available for free"

THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING!!!

like if you are limitless then why the need to work on your limiting beliefs? like why there has to be your limiting beliefs in the first place if you're limitless?

you should def check out kiramizukii here on tumblr how she scammed her followers to enter void state if you wanna have shit and giggles lol and perhaps your fav panda memes suddenly appear at the back of your mind while scrolling her page pffttt the fact there is someone trying so hard to defend her bye

side note: the stuffs that im talking in prev asks is not what im experiencing in fact i was just observing loa community but i still wish i never discovered/leading myself to that fucked up community (sigh)

There is an account that pretends to be some girl who mnifest xyz (heart eyes, being a trillionaire, idek) in a void state and she posted screenshots of Q&A's i did on IG but cropped out my instagram name so the hundreds of likes think those are her Q&A screenshots🤣 She charges $100 to enter the void state for you but if you pay, many have said the money goes to a male name which is ""her cousin"" but it's actually them. They are also hellbend on the $100. Not a cent less, people gave them their last few dollars.. can you imagine.

A trillionaire charging the poor $100! I forgot their justification or that but it was nonsense.

Many have also said they "paid and nothing happened" and the guy replies with "it's your limiting beliefs". Do you see the joke?🧐

There's also a peron who has prices like up to $300-$500 for a subliminal... words underneath some sound. Which you can do by yourself if you want a subliminal so bad.

Do you know how many scented XXL candles I can buy with that.

There are sooo many scammers,including big youtuber(s) and I'm not surprised at all! It's a massive business. The proper ones are indistinguishable from the scammers, ESPECIALLY on tumblr it's heavy but interesting. Desperation will lead you to do the wildest things and lose your critical thinking skills and everyone knows that and will take advantage of it ($)

On our account here it's not that bad but people still lose some of their critical thinking skills and logic and believe we OWE them a reply and need to hold their hand guiding them while eating candy with them. It's such an interesting way of thinking, quite amusing too.

But, long story short, do not pay anyone on tumblr or IG. Do it yourself. What's the difference between you snd them.

If you still want to pay, go ahead i guess?

[sykilik101]

@themattress @ultraericthered @illustrious-rocket @pepsi-al @shitirishaterssay @azelmaandeponine @gouthepro @cosmicheartz @warlordess @dchan87 @hollylu-ships-it @miyatoriaka @pokeshipping @johnnyd2 @zdbztumble @weirdgirl92 @sykilik101 @lovingtheshow @wiseabsol @echidnapower @gabbaana @dbzebra

My pals!!!!!!!!! My friends!!!!!!!!!! My darlings!!!!!!!!! My honeybuns!!!!!!!!!!😘😘😘😘😘😘

All of you genwunners are invited to the amourshipping wedding which is about to be held once gen 9 ends!!!!!!!😘❤️😘❤️😘😂😘🥰🥰🥰🥰

Food and drinks will be available for free!!!!!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Cos pokeshipping is dead you genwunners!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So suck it up losers!!!!!!!!!!!

I missed you, homie! I was gettin' lonely not seeing so many exclamation marks in my Asks, but you have returned! This also means the return of these fics, so let's go!

The bedsheets were cool to the touch as Misty collapsed onto her bed. The gentle whir of the air conditioning was the room's only salvation from silence, sunshine managing to sneak its way through the blinds. She rolled onto her side, her nose nestled against the pillow. His smell had long since been washed out, but she was nothing if not willing to fool herself.

Misty traced a finger along the comforter, watching it curve and angle itself to her touch. She savored how soft it felt against her fingertip; she settled her entire palm against it, pressing down into the mattress. Maybe if she used enough pressure, she could simulate the way his sleeping form would feel next to her.

Ash had been nothing if not true to his word; phone calls were her weekly treat (or whenever the boy found himself in a Pokémon Center), and the occasional envelope containing a letter and photos graced her mailbox. She'd saved them, of course; each one would be admired before being lovingly placed inside a box for safekeeping. They were her connection to him when he felt so far away.

However, no voice on the other end of a line, no scratchy handwriting or imperfectly framed shots could compete with a held hand, a pair of lips touching its other half, a hug that could go on forever and never lose its warmth. A sigh escaped her; she'd taught herself how to handle the yearning, how to pretend his voice was whispering her name in her ear, how to find the color of his eyes no matter where it hid.

Naturally, none of it compared to the real thing.

A chime rung through the gym, and Misty shoved her face into her pillow with a groan. A trainer had arrived, but she was in no mood to entertain someone's desire for a badge on her day off. She was experienced, however; eventually they would get the hint that nobody was coming to the door, and she would be allowed to return to her daydreams.

Another chime, however, washed away any hope of that happening.

With a low sigh she pulled herself from her bed, trudging the few steps to her door where the intercom was stationed. Her flare had become as widespread as her skills; surely that was enough justification for her snippy words towards the unsuspecting victim, right? She's paint a small dab of professionalism over her inflection, but "get lost" would be front and center.

She pressed her finger onto the button, not even bothering to clear her throat. "This is Misty. I'm sorry, but today's my day off, so you'll have to come back ano-"

"Pikachu pi!"

"Well, you heard her, buddy, we'll have to come back later."

Misty's heart practically grew legs and sprinted its way into her throat, eyes widening as she found her breath momentarily stolen. The cusp of a grin began to shake her lips as she felt the bottoms of her eyes warming. She knew he was likely joking with his reply, but just in case-

"Ash?"

No response.

It couldn't have just been a figment of her imagination. His last call had been mere days ago; she could still call to memory the slant of his lips as "Bye, Misty" tickled her ears. His voice was so distinct and clear; even after days, weeks, months of missing his presence next to her, she'd never mistake that tone of his, the one he loved saving for jabs aimed at her.

Without another word she bolted from her bedroom, nearly stumbling to the floor as she raced for the entrance of the gym. Make this right turn, speed down this hallway before drifting left, then a quick right-

The glass entryway hid no guests; silhouetted by Cerulean City's sunset was a boy with a cap, a beaming Pikachu, and a smile that she'd only seen the pixelated and photographed form of for so long.

Misty couldn't tell if she wanted to take precarious steps or blitz towards him; her legs stumbled forward awkwardly as she found some semblance of a middle ground between the two desires. Ash, seemingly aware of (and amused by) her disbelief, waltzed through the glass doors.

"Hey, Mist."

The two were only a handful of steps apart, but the nickname was enough for Misty to throw gravity to the wind, practically leaping into the boy. Her arms ensnared his torso; Ash had survived worse things than a potentially crushed rib cage, he'd be fine. The previous warmth in her eyes was beginning to grow hot, a vice slowly tightening around her throat.

"Ash, what- what are you doing here?"

"Getting crushed by one of your hugs, that's what I'm doing."

Her normal behavior would dictate that she tease him for that hitch in his voice, but joy made her generous and she eased back, blinking away the miniscule moisture fogging her vision.

"You're really here."

Ash sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Not for long if you keep hugging me like that."

"Piiika pika."

Pikachu patted at Ash's head, a cheeky grin plastered across his face. Ash retorted with his own, scratching the small mouse behind the ears.

"See, Pikachu thinks so, too."

Pikachu rolled his eyes, shaking his head before leaping to nestle himself atop Misty's shoulder.

"Pikachu pi pika."

"I don't think he does, Ash."

Their in-person banter had an energy she couldn't resist, elation splayed across her lips as Ash playfully pouted before her. A small giggle bubbled from within her; it was both surprising, and yet not, how quickly her previous dejection could be uprooted just by his presence.

A memory from their previous parting blipped in her mind. "Wait here, Ash! I didn't forget!" With a zeal in her step she practically floated back to her bedroom. Almost immediately upon entry she turned to the object hanging above her bed, and Pikachu cheered in glee at the sight. "Recognize this, Pikachu?"

"Pika pi!"

Taking it in hand she placed Ash's old cap atop her head, giving herself an approving nod in her bedroom mirror before making her way back to the entryway. Ash's grin grew tenfold at the sight of her, crossing his arms.

"Hey, nice hat you have there."

"Thanks, I had to send in about a million postcards to get it."

She giggled at his eye roll, but felt playful and, taking the bill in hand, spun it around so she wore the hat backwards. "Look at me, I'm a Pokémon Master in training!"

"Oh, come on, you have to put more energy into it than that! Look!" Ash hunched forward, holding the bill of his own hat between his fingers. He remained motionless for a moment, ostensibly for dramatic effect, before spinning it around, standing straight up as he did so.

"I'm Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town, and I promise to be the greatest Pokémon Master in the whole world!"

"Pi pikachu!"

Misty could hardly blame Pikachu; when Ash wasn't being a pain in the butt, his energy was infectious, and seeing his goofy pose made her feel light on her feet, a flush warming her face. All of what she'd been feeling was suddenly coming to a head, and she felt as if her body was suddenly a slave to those emotions.

Wordlessly she took two steps forward and, with no warning for Ash, kissed him.

His sharp inhale nabbed her attention first, but his hands finding her waist stole it right back. She pressed her mouth harder against his; she hadn't realized until that moment how badly she missed this, missed the way his closeness and his touch and his lips made her want to melt away. Her arms snaked around his neck, using him as support and an anchor to bring him closer.

Their kiss petered out into smaller kisses before backing away, their lungs livid at the abuse they were taking. All she could see, think, feel was him; if the blush searing his cheeks was any indication, he felt the same way.

"I've missed that."

She grinned. "Me, too."

"Piiika."

Pikachu held his paws to his eyes, a bashful smile adorning him. The two shared a laugh, with Misty rubbing the top of Pikachu's head. "Sorry, Pikachu."

"Pika pika."

He leapt off her shoulder onto the floor, bounding towards the pool where the matches were fought. He turned to the duo, waving his hand to them.

"Piii-ka!"

"He probably misses all of your other Pokémon."

"Then I'll have to let them out; they've missed you both, too."

"But not as much as you, right?"

She threw him a smirk, giddy at the way his expression practically mirrored hers. "If you beat me in a battle, I'll tell you."

Ash beamed, taking her hand in his and nearly dragging her to the pool. "Better watch what you say, Mist. Pikachu and I won't go easy on you!"

"You better not, or else my Pokémon will send you back to the Pokémon Center in a flash!"

Their squabble continued as they made their way to the pool. Truth be told, a battle with Ash always lit the fire inside her. Whether she won or lost was irrelevant; standing across from him, watching his passion burn and seeing his brain wrack up ways to win were inspiring. She loved that about him, and always would.

They would battle, and their Pokémon would need to rest, and that was fine by her. It just meant that that night, Misty wouldn't have to press her hand into the mattress, or try to remember what Ash smelled like against her. She didn't know how long she'd have him, but she was determined to make every second count.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hey Booky! Marketing anon here.

So I had thought and I wanted to share with you something that’s not marketing specific related. I confirmed that TMZ did indeed crop fish out of the post with Chris of stars at the CAA party.

So, here’s the thing. Since I’ve already mentioned I work in marketing and PR, and my role very strictly aligns with legal, you’ll notice why I choose my words carefully and even if people want me to bash Fish I don’t. Not because I like her (I do not) but because I’m well trained in my job. I only say what I feel has concrete evidence to support my arguments. Fans hatred and opinions while valid cannot be the source of justification. Unless there’s hard evidence I will stay away from saying anything direct…

Just like those shady fuckers at TMZ 😉

Pay attention to TMZ. ET, JJ, ENews, etc are all paid to push a certain narrative because that’s how it works. But the fact that TMZ continues to be subtly shady is very interesting to me. Two years in and it’s still this way.

“Chris confirms he got married” - TMZ. Why didn’t they just say TMZ confirms? Because…they can’t. Two kinda ceremonies and sometimes rings and alluding based on IG follows is not confirmation. He said it, yes. That’s why they can write he confirms. But they can’t confirm it was with her because he didn’t say it. And even if he walks around with her and they wear rings - lol, they still haven’t said they married each other. Do you see why TMZ has to refrain? It’s a little silly at this point because most ppl have come accept Occam’s razor, but it is Hollywood. What happens here stays here but also doesn’t but also can be anything and nothing at the same time.

TMZ knows this and they also know out of anyone the shit that goes down in Tinseltown. Don’t y’all find it odd they’ve been so reluctant on this whole SS - barely choosing to report and only doing it when they absolutely have to? I’m not saying that this means they don’t think the two got legally married, but I am saying they have reason to believe in reasonable doubt.

Look at TMZ’s website and IG. They’re basically deuxmoi most of the time. Reporting on Kanye’s wife wearing assless pants to an industry party??? They’re no better than daily mail. Except TMZ is founded by ex/lawyers if I’m not mistaken and they know how to cover all the loopholes. They can say with confidence Kanye and his wife because I think they found the wedding certificate. They can sit here and make posts about Timothee and Kylie and Travis and Taylor despite the very very obvious PR element because both sides have acknowledged each other publicly more than once, have been seen in public attending and pda-ing at industry events, and they’re honestly more entertaining to write about.

Chris on his own can be interesting and when something pertaining to him happens TMZ may report on it. But it’s painfully clear TMZ does not care about fish. I’m pretty sure this latest snub by them sort of confirms that so I can at least say that. I won’t say she’s blacklisted or anything because she’s clearly not. But I don’t believe she’s far from scraping the bottom of the barrel either. Oops

Again, TMZ is no better than the rest of them but they do know how to work their way around a legal loophole and make sure they cover their grimy asses. I’ll give them that.

Bye love ❤️

They're smart.

No wonder they're extremely opinionated 😆 they're founded by ex/lawyers 😁 and how they manage to stay afloat, even with their words.

And the way they do it is mighty impressive to me. Plus, they win points for the shade.

And Marketing An🫶n, you're doing great! Anyone who's read your messages can attest to that. It's why we look forward to your replies 😌 helps us see and learn something that we didn't understand before you told us.

So, once again... Thank you 🥰

[micheswife]

For The Sake Of Love, Survive

Spoilers below

🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐

Fanfic where Nanami survives after Shibuya because my poor heart needs healing

🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐

Potential triggers

- just a teensy bit of gore because of Mahito

-description of Nanami feeling a lot of pain

-taking medication as a form of coping

__________________________________________________

Canon story divergence, sfw, reader is non-sorcerer, set in Shibuya arc

__________________________________________________

“Thank you…” you whispered, taking the single red rose.

It was the second time he had offered it to you with pleading eyes. It was quite unlike the blond haired sorcerer to force, request or coerce people to accept his affectionate advances. He had endless formalities, but not with you, not today.

“I have told you everything about me y/n, this is my job and I think I really am going to die.” his words still rang loud in your mind as you walked back home. It had been years since you experienced such levels of anxiety and anger.

“I don’t want you to go, please Nanami, stay back..” you said, letting your tears out. “It’s not fair, I just found you…” this time, you spoke more to yourself than him.

“It hurts me too, I love you more than anything else in the world, but… I can’t let those children fight for themselves out there.”

“Right… so, bye then.” You wiped your tears and stood up to walk out of his apartment, absolutely sure that Nanami would be that one ex who’d stir trouble in all your future relationships, because you just would not move on from him.

“Hey, wait.” Nanami tried to hold you back but you gently removed his grip.

“I have to move on from you, dear. Stop holding me back..”

“I know. I am sorry to have pursued you. I knew I’d die first, I just did not think it’d be so soon. But please, I want to spend my last moments with you.” His words made you feel angry. It was always like this with people. They’d take and take and take from you until you had nothing to give. Somehow, most people that entered your life, including Nanami, would dump their emotions on you.

‘I don’t want to lose you because no one understands me better.’

‘Talking to you feels so liberating and stress-free.’

‘I wish everyone was as good a listener as you.’

‘You are the only person who hasn’t judged me for this.’

And lastly,

‘please, I want to spend my last moments with you.’

His words angered you because he was just like everyone else who expected you to be an emotional crutch but never returned the favor. You wanted to keep the promise you made to yourself, the promise of not giving out gratitude for free, the promise to demand something in return for your relentless emotional labour. But you thought Nanami deserved an exception due to his impending death, so you caved.

“Okay.” That was all you said before you hugged him. Nanami had seen too much of your affection throughout the 9 months you were together, so you figured he deserved to see some of your wrath and disappointment too. Afterall, you wouldn’t see him ever again, and every person deserves to know how their partner really feels.

“I hate you Nanami. I hate you because you are leaving me. You made frequent visits to the same cafe as me, just to see and talk to me after work. You have dealt with so many dangerous situations throughout your career, your justification of ‘I just did not think it’d be so soon’ is ridiculous. You are so damn casual about this whole thing, it’s not normal, even for a sorcerer. As crazy as you claim the people from your area of work are, I can bet none of them would just expect their non-sorcerer partner to be okay with their deaths. Do you even know what you have ruined?” you paused to see if Nanami could answer.

“I ruined your entire lovelife..” he said, sadness evident in his voice.

“Right, whichever man has the misfortune of falling in love with me next will have to put up with my memories of you. I will never be able to forget you like the guys from my past because you actually mean more to me, because you promised me all these things that I never, never dared to consider a part of my life….” your tears broke out again, but you were not finished.

“Why couldn’t you just keep this casual?! I suggested it multiple times. You broke down my walls and now you’re leaving me… so soon.. It’s not good, Nanami, you weren’t kind to me..”

“That’s it, bye. I hope you enjoyed this time together. If, by any chance you come out alive from Shibuya, don’t come back to me, find a sorcerer that’s just as crazy as you.” and you left.

High on anger and adrenaline, you marched through the street paying little heed to the people around you. In that moment of anger, you hated that bastard. However, you began hating yourself as you made your way through the crowd. Was that long speech really necessary? Couldn’t you just be there for that man one last time? You had the thought of running back to him, but you couldn’t figure what you would do once you were near him. You wanted to yell at him again, you wanted to physically hold him back from leaving his apartment, you wanted to give him the best kiss of his life and promise to meet him in the afterlife, you wanted to bawl your eyes out until you fainted. These intrusive thoughts, all together, made you want to go to Shibuya so you could finally meet the same fate as him and end this wretched story for good.

You did none of those things, and just bought some mild sleep medication. Sleeping was your coping mechanism. As you unlocked the door to your apartment, you called your boss and told him you’d need three days of bereavement leave because one of your relatives died. You held the framed picture of you and Nanami from the time you went to the beach together. An old chain made of gold was shining bright around Nanami’s neck. It also had a golden pendant of a deity your family worshipped. You snuggled the picture to your chest as you drifted into a deep sleep after taking the medication. If you worry did not give you nightmares about Nanami's death, then you’d wake up with an empty mind after 10 hours and then you would do everything in your power to avoid any thought related to your boyfriend and the Jujutsu world. You did this after every bad incident you deemed as highly impactful to your life.

Meanwhile, Nanami battled and bled trying to protect those younger than him. It was hard, he had to dodge a gruesome death every second. Nanami feared neither death nor pain, but during that critical situation, he was determined to survive.

He always held the opinion that sacrifices were necessary to achieve a goal, and he’d readily give up his life for the sake of others, especially children. However, in Shibuya, he forced himself to carry the unrealistic expectation to save everyone, including himself. It was something that even a ball of sunshine like Yuuji Itadori would deem as stupid for a jujutsu sorcerer, had Nanami discussed such a thing with him.

Nanami was exhausted and paranoid by the time Dagon was finally defeated by Toji. Immediately after, Toji Zenin, in his murderous daze, disappeared leaving Maki, Naobito and Nanami facing none other than Jogo. Nanami knew what he was capable of. He felt hot flames engulf him before he could even think about escaping.

‘I am surviving this..’ he thought to himself, not wanting to give up.

Too many people need me.

I vowed to protect those kids.

I promised her a future.

I want a vacation.. with her.

I will not die.

Nanami was in a daze as he walked away from Jogo. He was not his usual alert self when a swarm of curses attacked him at once. He did not know how, but he felt his body move on its own. For any outsider, he would have looked like a monster fighting smaller monsters. Truth was, his senses were drowned by the overwhelming pain from Jogo’s attack. He could no longer sense where the curses came from, all he knew was that he was going to survive.

All I know is that I want to go back home.

Any curse in my way.. will be exorcised.

I’ll defeat these pests, once and for all.. I will get rid of them all. He envisioned a world without curses, a world where his woman would be safe.

I’ll forge it with my bare hands.

I’ll fight till they’re all gone, once and for all.

Lost within his own mind, Nanami did not realise when he eliminated the last curse, only to come face to face with the most dangerous of them off - Mahito. The patchfaced curse already had his hand on Nanami’s chest, ready to curse him. Nanami knew what was happening to him, but the overwhelming levels of adrenaline and his injuries made him feel less conscious. He knew what Mahito was capable of, yet, this time, he just couldn’t take him seriously.

Curses are shit.

Mahito is shit.

I am going to kill him.

Nanami was close to laughing in Mahito’s face when the latter asked if he could chat. Then, from the corner of his eye, Nanami saw Yuji, looking at him in fear.

“Yuji-kun, let’s kill him.” Nanami said, smiling casually as if he wasn’t at all burned to near death.

At that moment, Mahito cursed the sorcerer and blood splattered all over the place in an instant as Yuji stared at the gruesome sight before him. Something that looked like a spine was laying on the floor, red liquid and chunks of flesh slowly sliding down to reveal the bone. It was a bloodbath in true sense, vaguely reminding Yuji of Sukuna's domain. He took a look at his own self,only to see himself covered in the same blood. He was shellshocked but a voice brough him back to reality.

“Mahito-kun, is this your real form?” Nanami asked a few seconds after taking a good look at the dismembered cursed spirit, now struggling to regenerate himself. Yuji didn’t dare to move from his spot, terrified of the larger-than-life sized apparition behind Nanami. For the first time in his life, he had encountered someone scarier than the King of Curses. Meanwhile, Nanami chopped Mahito, limb by limb as a means of payback.

Oh right, I forgot to return her chain…

Nanami remembered a peculiar conversation from a few months ago. He had returned from a particularly bad mission. Shoko had spent hours healing him, and yet, he had suffered permanent damage from that fight. Y/n cried that day and all Nanami could say was..

“I am sorry dear… I am so sorry…” he was holding her close to his chest as she struggled to form words through her hiccups. Without saying a word, she got up and walked over to her wardrobe, opening it to reveal a complete mess… clothes overflowing, books on top of her electronics, some spare money strewn about… her wardrobe always ended up disorganised no matter how well he arranged things for her. She sat down and emptied the entire last shelf and fished out a metal box. It was locked. After two days of relentless searching and refusing to let Nanami go to another mission, she found the key.

“I don’t care what you think of jewellery, I am not even going to ask, but you are not allowed to take this off, ever.” Y/n said as she clasped the chain around his neck, pressing down on the hook to lock it in place.

“What is this y/n? If I can’t remove it, at least explain what it is.”

“It’s a family heirloom, every family is supposed to have one in our culture. It’s supposed to protect you against evil spirits and stuff.” Y/n said as she brewed tea for the both of them.

“No offence dear, but I don’t see any energy radiating off it, it might as well be just a piece of jewellery.” Nanami said, closely examining the pendant.

“Y/n, tell me, is this supposed to be for women?”

“Yes, but you’ll have to wear it.”

Nanami sighed, the pendant looked like a female deity. She had multiple arms, each one holding something, mostly weapons. Her hair reached her feet and she had ornaments all over her.

“Your culture does not have one that’s designed for men?” Nanami questioned.

“No.” y/n handed him the tea and snacks.

“Why?”

“Because women were the ones cursed for the smallest of mistakes, that’s why. It’s been passed down for many generations, from woman to woman. It’s supposed to hold generations worth of what you refer to as cursed energy, so in a way, it’s also supposed to protect us women from our negative emotions.”

Nanami wasn’t convinced but he still wore it for y/n’s sake. If wearing a chain would relieve her stress, then he would wear it. After all, who was even going to see it under his shirt?

In that moment, as he was slowly exorcising the last bits of Mahito, Nanami wondered why the deity did not show up until Mahito attacked him. He hypothesised it was because Mahito touched his soul. Truth be told, Nanami was slightly embarrassed but also relieved. A gold chain had accomplished what years of training as a Jujutsu sorcery did not. For the first time ever, Nanami let his guard down in all his encounters with cursed spirits and cursed users alike. He was fighting in Shibuya using the collective wrath of God-knows-how-many generations of women. Many curse users recognized the valuable piece of jewellery and tried to snatch it directly from his neck. As flimsy as the metal had become over years, the chain broke and most of the curse users were able to take it. Unfortunately for them, only Nanami was aware of how it worked. He smirked as he and Yuji exorcised another curse, picked up the chain and slipped it into his pocket., remembering another conversation with y/n

“Okay, it's a deity, not a cursed spirit, Nanami. As in, we actually worship her and festivals are held in her honour, so don’t reduce her to a cursed spirit, even though her whole concept is based on anger.” Y/n explained.

“I am kind of understanding, have you ever seen this thing work?” Nanami asked.

“No…. but no one ever seemed to be attacked by a curse.. Anyway, it’s mostly just beliefs and traditions, but please wear it, for me? It’ll make me feel safe.”

"I will wear it because it comforts you, but I have another question, what if someone steals it?" Nanami asked, concerned because he didn't want to lose the family heirloom of y/n.

"It won't protect the person who steals it. Infact, it will work against that theif. It only works properly if someone gives it you by their own willingness, like me. That's why, it considered dangerous to steal a woman's jewellery in my culture, it could actually curse you" Y/n replied.

“oh...that's interesting...” Nanami said, reassured her once again that he'd never take it off and left for Jujutsu Tech.

He always felt sorry for y/n whenever he remembered that conversation. Y/n had never been religious, she didn't even believe in cursed spirits. That was until Nanami entered her life and chose to be honest about his occupation, then she began praying out of fear.

Back in Shibuya, Nanami fought until he could no longer stand. He couldn’t help but feel thrilled fighting and exorcising his way through Shibuya.

This is probably what that potato-head Gojo feels like everyday.

Nanami thought to himself as he swung his hand in the general direction of a curse and it blasted it to pieces. Without the chain, he would have had to exert a lot more energy and accuracy. He was making his way to another curse when his injuries finally overwhelmed him. Nanami fainted, in the middle of a battlefield, yet perfectly protected.

¬¬one day later¬¬

Nanami woke up to a very itchy sensation. He tried to scratch himself, only to touch rough fabric.

“Don’t scratch the wound, Nanami, just go back to sleep.” It was Shoko’s voice.

“Huh?”Nanami forced his eye open.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s been 24 hours since we found you, I am not sure how long you were unconscious for that, but it’s a miracle you survived.”

“I know…” slowly, the incidents from Shibuya started crowding his memories. Unlike before, he was no longer in a crazy trance. He was back to his usual self, and his body felt like an overfilled sack due to the tightly wound bandages.

“I know you must be under a lot of pressure, but Shoko, how long will it take for me to recover?” Nanami asked, his voice raspy and weak.

“At least 3 whole weeks, and there’s lasting damage. You will need a wheelchair for a few months following your recovery and you will never be as agile ever again… I am sorry.” Shoko replied.

“Officially damaged beyond repair huh, it’s okay.”

“I am glad you are okay, the Jujutsu society will not allow you to take any mission beyond grade 3 from now on.”

“Ah… I was actually thinking of retiring.” Nanami smiled to himself as he looked for his phone.

“Here, I charged it for you.” Shoko handed him his phone which was surprisingly intact except for a few scratches here and there.

Nanami pressed onto the power button, and text message popped up 10 hours ago,

Are you there?

Smiling, he opened his inbox to find another text from 8 hours ago,

I will love you forever Nanami, rest in peace. I hope we’ll meet again

“Wow, this is kind of cheesy, Nanami. But I am glad you found someone.” Shoko was peering into his phone and Nanami did not even notice.

“It’s because she thinks I am dead.” Nanami chuckled.

Shoko smiled softly and went back to work, her schedule packed with no room to breathe. After losing two of her close friends, one destroyed by his own hand and the other one trapped in the prison realm, she was glad at least one of her friends would have a happy ending.

The sound of Nanami texting and Shoko preparing her medical instruments for another surgery were the only sounds echoing in the room for some time, until Nanami’s phone rang.

For the first time, Shoko sensed a level of lightheartedness in his voice. After talking for sometime, Nanami kept the phone and spoke, smiling ear to ear,

“Hey Shoko, my girlfriend is coming over, do you want something to eat, she could get it on her way.”

“Ask her to bring beer and cigarettes, I ran out hours ago and I need a smoke.”

“Sure thing, Shoko.”

“Say Nanami…”

“Hm?”

“Something tells me this is going to be a regular thing now, so do you wanna tell me about her?” Shoko asked him with a smirk.

“Sure thing, Shoko.”

Nanami’s cheeky smile was something Shoko wished Gojo, Geto and Haibara could see. For now, she was just glad to have someone alive and happy near her. At least someone from the Jujutsu world finally got the happy ending they deserved.

🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖🍞🥐🥖

[antipathy-arsonist]

ok im. finished w the song thoughts. laplaces angel. my final message. goot bye

HANK SONG.

"AM I BAD? AM I BAD? AM I REALLY THAT BAD?" <- something about how overly. i dunno the word. demonised? they are by nevadean society despite the dominos beginning to fall FAAAARRRR b4 they were ever involved. i also believe their sorta at a point where their beginning to believe that most people's opinion of them is actually correct and they are really the rabid dog people seee him as. so this part could be taken as them doubting their own veiw of themself.

"IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES YOUD WALK THE SAME DAMN MILES I DO" could be taken as them justifing some of their actions because of the circumstances or they could be stating the obvious fact that basically anyone would go FUCKING INSANE if they were hank

[clonerightsagenda]

It still fascinates me that at the end of FMA Ling Yao just.... walks off with a philosopher's stone.

It's in-character for him, certainly. His willingness to be cutthroat, including cutting his own, is what makes him one of the more interesting characters to me. But the plot turns on the philospher's stone and dismantling its bloody hold on the country. The 'good' characters who use one typically agonize over it or provide justifications beforehand. Ed just finished having a crying breakdown about refusing to do so. And Ling's like 'k bye!' and everyone goes 'great! nice knowing you!'. It doesn't even trigger an infamous Edward Morality Monologue. And while the people within the other stones have been major plot points, we have no idea who's in this one.

Ling wants to rule an empire, and empires are built on people's lives. If FMA is a 'are we the baddies' story, some people look at the system they're in and go, ok, fine, I can work with that. It's true, it's interesting, but I'm not sure the narrative means for it to be taken that way?

Like, is this an uncomplicated happy ending being handed out because it's the finale? Is it choosing to use unethically obtained power in the hopes of making improvements within a wretched system? Is it a Bad End? I don't require stories to provide me with pre-packaged moral judgments and the lack of one here is why I like turning it over in my brain, but it's also weird to me because the story takes such a strong stance on this issue everywhere else! Ling Yao's personal brand of morality is so powerful it warps the entire narrative around it apparently.

[karizard-ao3]

Sneak Peek at my Eremika single parent WIP

Why not? Only, like, three people even look at my tumblr and I could use a little boost to keep me excited about this fic. I'm going to share a little of their backstory, one section from Eren's pov, and the other from Mikasa's. Keep in mind, this is the rough draft and subject to change.

They had met in 3rd grade when Eren’s elementary school was re-zoned to include her end of the neighborhood, and, together with Armin, they had become inseparable. He wasn't sure how. It had happened so long ago and their transition from classmates to friends had been so seamless that the details had faded away to make room for more pressing matters than exactly how he had found himself spending all his free time with Mikasa and Armin. 

He had also taken their continued presence in his life for granted, the way young kids do. He hadn't expected that he and Mikasa would drift apart in middle school, her to her advanced classes and art club and he to his sports. There was barely any time to see each other, and, while it also rankled him that Armin was too busy and smart for him, too, it really pissed him off with Mikasa. He was sour and dismissive on the rare occasion they actually spoke, and, by the time eighth grade graduation rolled around, they didn't talk to each other at all. It infuriated him. 

So then why had he been so happy when he needed to sign up for peer tutoring due to his absolute shit grades and Mikasa was the one who ended up tutoring him? He had been surly about it at first. "Sucks you're stuck with me," he'd snarled, slumping back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest.

"I requested you," said Mikasa, with matter-of-fact crispness, straightening her papers and refusing to meet his eyes. 

Eren straightened a bit. "You did?" he said, surprised by the sudden lightening in his chest. 

She nodded, folding her hands on top of the table. "So I guess I'm sorry you're stuck with me," she said, tapping her fingers.

"I don't mind," said Eren, sitting all the way up. "I'm looking forward to it."

Mikasa's eyes flicked over to him. He stared back at her, his heart rate ramping up with each silent second that passed. Then she smiled, her lips shifting into the faint curve he still remembered so well. "That's good," she said, soft-eyed and pleased. "Because, based on your grades, we're going to be seeing a lot of each other."

Eren couldn't even find the will to pretend to be pissed about her mild jibe. He was just so inexplicably relieved that from then on he would be seeing her at least one afternoon a week, guaranteed. 

It took him another year to realize why he was so invested in being around her. She was going over his essay, tapping her pencil against her lips as she read it, and he was staring at them, fixating on how pink and soft they looked, wishing he could be her pencil, and wondering why it was he always had such weird thoughts about Mikasa. One of his soccer friends had just gotten his first girlfriend and he said the same kind of junk about that girl that Eren thought about Mikasa, but Eren and Mikasa weren’t going out. He wasn’t even sure they were technically friends. They only saw each other during his tutoring sessions, but, oh, he lived for those afternoons. His favorite was when she moved her chair next to his, and they looked at his work with their heads together, so close that their shoulders touched and he could smell the mild scent of her shampoo and the minty bite of her gum. His arm always itched to find its way around her when she was next to him like that, and his lips would tingle knowing that hers were so close. He had even started hugging his other friends hello and good-bye just so he had sufficient justification to do the same with her, and he knew it was ridiculous, but he sure wasn’t going to stop. He supposed all his silliness was because he held her in such high regard compared to the other people they went to school with. Although by that logic he would also spend some fraction of his time ogling Armin’s lips, and he had never done that even once. The mystery of her hold on him continued.

“You look a million miles away,” she had said then, pulling him from his musings. “What are you thinking about?”

“Stuff,” said Eren. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

“We can go over your essay if you’re ready, then,” said Mikasa. “I made notes.”

“Okay,” said Eren, scooting his chair over so she could put hers next to his. She slid his paper across the table for him to look at while she brought her chair around. She had written several comments in the margins, but one in particular grabbed his attention. “I ❤️ your/ quote selection!” she had written, but, for a brief, mad, exhilarating moment, his dysfunctional brain had stopped reading at “I ❤️ you”, disregarding the R and the second line entirely. He was ecstatic for those two seconds until reality came crashing back down on him.

That's when he had realized with sudden, unexpected clarity why it was exactly that he lay in bed at night and tried to recreate her face from memory while he faded away into sleep. He turned to look at her, gawking as she settled into her chair. Holy shit. He was in love with her. He was in love with his childhood best friend. How long had this been going on for?

“Are you okay, Eren?” she asked, catching the stunned look on his face. 

He gulped and nodded. Now that he knew, he wanted to tell her. To lay it all out and get her to love him back, but he couldn't. What would she want with him? She was so cool, with her ripped fishnets and oversize band tees, her pierced nose and her combat boots, and the way her art kept getting recognized at school. She was such a good artist. And she was so smart. What did he have to offer? All he was good for was kicking a ball around. She'd want someone better than him. Definitely. Someone like that Kirschtein guy he always saw her talking to. He was older; he played tennis, which Eren considered to be a gentleman's sport; he was so good at painting that he was granted an entire panel of his own for the school mural project; and - oh! So that's why it made Eren so miserable and angry every time he saw them together. He was jealous. Because he loved her. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, touching his arm. "You look really upset."

"Nope, I'm all good," said Eren. His arm was turning to putty beneath her fingers. "So, what's up with you and that guy, Kirschtein?"

***

She’d hoped that time would heal her wounds and tighten up her morals, but she still wasn't ready to see him when her trip was over, so she didn't come home, opting to go straight to her new school instead. She just didn't know how she could look at him now that she didn't know who he was anymore. 

Of course, time did heal her wounds, but it took more than just a summer to stitch them shut. Still, by the time Mikasa wrapped up her final year of undergraduate studies by getting pregnant and subsequently engaged, she could think of Eren without any nausea or heartache, although even her fondest memories of him came with a dour footnote: "but he was a liar". Like the time she helped him study for finals. They'd done it at his house, going over the review questions and trying to make sense of his illegible notes and doing flashcards every night the week preceding the tests. He'd been grumbling and groaning and whining one night because he was tired of studying, so she'd started rewarding him for every right answer with a jelly bean, tossing the candy for him to catch in his mouth, except the jelly beans kept bouncing off his face and then he'd scoff and she'd laugh and pretty soon their study session had devolved into them chucking jelly beans at each other back and forth, giggling hysterically and dropping far more candy than they caught. It had been so fun. But, he was a liar. And that's not something she could forget. 

It was at her wedding that she discovered her error. She was four months pregnant and still not really showing, but she was tired and cranky nonetheless. Armin's date was a girl they'd gone to high school with, but hadn't hung out with back then. She'd run with Eren's crowd, and the first thing she'd said when Mikasa went over to say hello at the reception (aka the BBQ in Eduardo's parents' backyard, since Mikasa's wedding was a surprise development, just like, and thanks to, the baby) was, "Your husband looks just like Eren Jaeger from high school."

"No he doesn’t," said Mikasa, sipping her non-alcoholic sparkling cider. 

Armin and the girl exchanged a glance. “Right, of course not,” said Armin.

“How is Eren, though?” said Mikasa, who couldn’t help but be curious. "I used to tutor him. Did he and Historia keep seeing each other after high school?"

"I think they still talk sometimes," said the girl.

"They broke up?" said Mikasa, raising an eyebrow. Maybe Historia had found out about the cheating. 

The girl's eyebrows furrowed. "They never went out," she said. 

No, that wasn’t true. Mikasa frowned. "But, back in twelfth grade… Mina Carolina said…"

The girl laughed. "Mina Carolina was talking out of her ass, then, like she always did. Eren wasn't dating Historia in twelfth grade because I was. He was the only one who knew it."

Mikasa was stunned. "Oh," she said, looking at Armin, who actually looked kind of like Historia: blond haired, soft featured, and petit. He shrugged at Mikasa, not understanding why she was so flummoxed. She had never told him why she’d stopped talking to Eren, just said that something had happened and she didn’t want to get into it. She was on her own dealing with this new revelation, just like she had been when Mina had turned her world upside down in the bathroom. Oh, god. Eren hadn’t been cheating on his girlfriend when he’d kissed her. She’d written off her first love/ third-best friend for nothing. “Well,” she said, trying to laugh off her regrets and shift the subject away from Eren, "If you were dating Historia then and Armin now, I guess you have a type." 

"I really do," agreed the girl, then mumbled to Armin, "Looks like I'm not the only one."

Mikasa ignored her, excusing herself to go find her husband. He barely even glanced at her when she took a seat beside him. His hand finding its way to her knee was his only concession to her presence. She studied his profile. It was maybe possibly true that he looked a little like her old high school crush, but that’s where the similarities ended. If you didn’t count that they also had the same initials. But that was just coincidence. And, anyway, Eduardo was her future. She had lost Eren to the past and her own mistakes. Even if she wanted to, how could she contact Eren now? What would she say? "Hi. Here's my new phone number, like I promised. Sorry it took me so long to get it to you"? Yeah, right. It had already been too long. She didn’t know how to rebuild the bridge she had burned, and so she left it behind, returning only sometimes to view the wreckage and wonder what could have been if she hadn't been so hasty.

And then Eduardo had removed himself from her future. Or, rather, repositioned himself inside of it, abdicating from the role of husband. Family life wasn’t for him. It was too much pressure. He couldn’t make her happy. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her. He had plenty of excuses but what it really boiled down to was that she had made another terrible life decision when she had agreed to marry him just because they were going to have a child. She had hoped that maybe the magnetic attraction between them that had led to Mason’s conception could bind their hearts together as well. What a joke. 

And so Mikasa raised her child and tried to co-parent with Eduardo and ended up moving the several hours back home when Mason was three, so she could get an advanced degree and save up money to buy them their own little house near her family, since Eduardo was so bad at contributing or remembering to pay child support and barely saw Mason anyway. 

She'd decided to go to her high school reunion a couple years later for the same reason she'd gone to grad night: she was hoping Eren would be there and she could talk to him one more time. Being home again, seeing their old stomping grounds, being surrounded by memories of him… She wanted to return to those days when she had been happy. And she wanted her friend.