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gilbirda · 4 years ago

Text

Transcendence

The switching Stans plan was supposed to work, but they failed. And now, Mabel has to face the consequences.

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

She never thought nothing of it. Really, what could go wrong? They managed to stop the Weirmageddon in time with the help of everyone in Gravity Falls, betting everything they have to save their beloved town. But when the bright light subsided, the Pines family knew something went wrong. Horribly wrong. Because Dipper was missing and Mabel couldn’t move at all.

Scared, she started to call for her brother, her brown eyes focusing in things randomly, searching for a sign that he was with her.

“Mabel!”, she faintly heard her uncle Ford scream and her vision tunneled in his face. “Mabel, can you hear me?” She couldn’t nod but focused in his eyes trying to talk through them. “Good, you are here with us.” Then she heard another voice nearby but couldn’t make the words. “Yes, she is fine. No, not responding. We must go back with the others.”

Mabel felt her body be carried in someone’s arms, but she couldn’t see who it was. Everything happened so slowly and yet so fast and bright… Someone please turn off that light! It was hurting her eyes. She could heard voices muffled in the distance, worried voices, but none of them was her brother’s.

Where was Dipper?

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She woke in a strange bed that wasn’t hers. At least the room was dark enough and her eyes adjusted perfectly fine to it. She yawned and stretched, feeling the blissful pop in her back and joints. Somehow Mabel felt like a new person, fully rested and prepared for a new day with…

Dipper.

He wasn’t beside her or anywhere in the room, sleeping.

The panic came back, thoughts and memories of their attempt to kill Bill Cipher whirling in her mind, and the same awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought that oh my god where’s Dipper.

She ran downstairs realising by the pictures on the walls that this was Soos’ house, feeling the tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes as the real fact of the destruction of Gravity Falls settled in her mind. The Shack, her sweaters, the memories… gone. They would have to rebuild everything from scratch and Dipper wasn't here.

“Oh, she's awake”, said Abuelita while putting more coffee in a jar on the battered table. Her uncles, Wendy and Soos where sitting there silently sipping their drink and seemingly lost in their thoughts until Ford came back to reality and ran to her.

“Mabel, dear, how are you? Do you feel dizzy? Unwell? Possessed?”, he took out his small light and blinded the girl with it. The panicked voice told her that something was really wrong, and not just her brother's disappearance.

“Leave the kid alone, brother. She looks fine enough for me”, Stan murmured sounding very tired and old. Mabel remembered the swap her uncles made to trick Bill, but Stan seemed to be ok and knowing who they were. At her evident confused face, he answered her questions. “We failed, kid. Bill saw through our plan in the last moment and escaped, but was disintegrated in the process… or that's what brains here thinks happened.” Ford nodded.

“Bill lost his physical form and couldn't go back the moment he entered Stanley's mind. When cornered, realised what we plotted and part of his energy got out.” Ford sighed visibly uncomfortable.

“Dipper….”, the girl whispered as a question. Everyone in the room looked away from her tear-stained face.

“We… we don't know, Mabes”, Stan said softly, a comforting hand in her shoulder.

--------------------------

She didn't eat or sleep for days, refusing to move away from the bed and only accepting the water that Wendy or Abuelita brought her every few hours. Mabel seemed to have lost her will to live, the sparkle in her eyes gone like her brother and more than one thought that Mabel wasn't going to last much.

Word had spread about the tragedy and many considered a funeral for the little Pines boy, but Mabel insisted that he wasn't dead. Dipper couldn't be dead. She swore she could feel him somewhere with the twins ESP (Ford cocked an eyebrow at this), but after three days nobody believed her. Even Mabel started to entertain the thought of Dipper's death when her family left her alone.

Until one restless night, she opened her eyes and saw the world in grey scale.

“...el…”, she heard. Mabel looked everywhere trying to find the source of the voice. “...bel” the voice repeated. It was a boy's voice, but it was so distorted that could be anyone's.

“Mabel!”

“AAAAH!”

The girl fell on her butt and looked up to see… Dipper. Tears pooled on her eyes, happy to see him at last and ignoring the fact that he was translucid. She ran to his arms, crying, mumbling about how lonely she has been and how happy she was to see that he was ok and was coming back.

“Mabel…”, his tone carried multiple voices in one, like whispers floating on the wind. Mabel liked none of that.

“Dipper?”, she asked feeling more confused when he didn’t hug back. “Are you ok?”

The boy watched her with a strange glint in his eyes and a sad expression, as if this was a painful experience for him. He took her hands in his and smiled briefly before getting serious again and spoke:

“Mabel, I’m sorry. I’m afraid…”, he looked elsewhere as his voice cracked in a weird way, “I’m afraid we’ll never see each other again.”

She felt that her whole world fell apart in that moment. Mabel didn’t want to believe him, but if Dipper said so then it must be true. She trusted her brother, but still she had to ask.

“Why…?”

“Mabes, I’m dead. Can’t you see it?” He got back a few steps and stood in the middle of the grey room. His feet didn’t touch the ground and now the girl could see that his body wasn’t really opaque. Oh no. “I died that day, when we killed Bill. Yes, he is dead”, he added when his sister opened her mouth to ask, “and he is gone for. But… Some of his energy escaped from Stan’s mind and got to us in time to survive, like a symbiote, and still lives within us. Within you.” He made a face at the correction.

“And you? Why am I alive?”, tears were running down her cheeks uncontrollably. Her brother was really dead. Dipper wouldn’t come back.

“The energy in me wasn’t enough to protect me from the explosion, but yours was greater. I guess you were the superior twin after all”, the smile in his lips was everything but happy. “Mabes, I…”

He was interrupted by a loud noise from somewhere in the background and the place started to melt. Walls dissolving like a candle burning to its end, the grey-and-white room was slowly warning her that her dream was coming to an end. No, no, no. She didn’t want to wake up!

“Dipper!”, she exclaimed running to her brother, but when she jumped to his arms, instead of getting her very needed hug, Mabel found herself on the trembling floor and with a sore shoulder.

“It’s my time, then”, the boy looked at his hands beginning to disappear and smiled again to his sister. “I love you, Mabel.”

“No!”

“I hope you remember me, as a part of myself will live inside of you forever.” His feet were now gone and his signature pine tree hat was dissolving like sand on the wind.

“No, Dipper. NO!”

“Be happy”, he closed his eyes.

And just like that, all that was left of her brother exploded in tiny little particles floating in mid-air over the carpet she was sitting on. Before she could see what they were clearly, it floated to her chest and passed through her clothes directly to her skin, and a weird warmth condensed in her heart. She could feel it get bigger and bigger, making it difficult to breathe, arching her back.

She opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed and found herself floating in the colored room, the real room, and she was shining brighter than the Sun. On the door, she spotted her uncles and Wendy watching her with their mouth so open that they could swallow a few flies, a hand at the level of the eyes to protect them from the light.

Then, something inside of her snapped and she fell unceremoniously to the floor with a loud thud.

“Mabel!”, she heard Ford before she could see him. Someone took one of her hands and a gloved hand checked her pulse. “Are you ok?”

“Dipper…”, she managed to say.

“Did you see him? Where?” Stanley looked confused.

“He… He is gone, Grunkle”, her voice broke and Mabel felt tears start to fall again. “Dipper is dead.”

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The following days were similar to the ones before, but now Mabel refused to go back to her bed. She spent her days sitting on a chair in the living room, watching everyone move around without saying another word. She slept sometimes, but it was scarce. Alas, she never looked really tired.

Ford started to suspect that something had happened that day she woke up being a Star. Something big, and something connected to Bill Cipher. When his grand-niece showed unconscious control over things -stuff floating in mid-air or catching fire without reason, and the like-, Ford felt like crying.

Not only had they lost their precious Dipper, but Mabel was becoming something else. Something dangerous. Demonic.

When he first approached the girl about this, she just held his stare and said nothing, creeping everyone in the room, listening to Ford’s explanation of how this could have happened. He thought that Bill’s energy had a consciousness of its own and attached itself to the twins, trying to survive, transforming their bodies into a more appropriate vessel. The changes may be slow, but they would definitely see it sometime soon. He didn’t say anything about Dipper’s death or strange “fusion” with his sister, but she understood nonetheless.

Mabel just nodded and let herself fall into the catatonic state again when her uncle finished. No more tears or screams. The girl seemed to accept what was happening to her without fight in her body, and the people in the room were afraid that it was too late for her mind. That she was going insane, and that was a word they would not like to associate to their beloved Mabel. It was just too much like him.

As more days passed, the new mayor declared the “Never Mind All That” Act, and started the rebuilding of their town as if a end-of-the-world catastrophe never happened. When the Shack was recovered from the ashes of the battle, the Pines moved to their new home with a broken Mabel lost in her mind, trying not to cry when she walked up the stairs to their… her room with her distant eyes and pale skin.

She didn’t came out for days.

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But the dreams came back. Almost everyday, even when she thought she was awake, Mabel saw the evil figure she didn’t want to see ever again in her life. He laughed at her demise, he taunted her, mocked her, made fun of her loss. “Where’s Pine Tree?”, he usually asked, and if he had a mouth she was sure he’d be smiling like crazy.

At first the girl screamed at him, cried, punched him; anything to vent her rage and sorrow. Dipper was dead and she was becoming a… demon, all because a stupid triangle wanted to take over the world. She wanted to die, then. If Dipper wasn’t coming back to her she didn’t want to go on anymore.

She asked the demon. “Just finish me already”, she whispered one lonely night a week later in her black-and-white room at the renewed Shack. “Kill me so I can be at peace with my brother.”

“I can’t do that, Shooting Star”, he said twirling his signature cane in one finger. “And I guess you know it as well as I do.”

She somehow knew he was right, somewhere deep inside told her she just couldn’t

It was one evening when she jumped from the roof and Wendy found her broken body on a bush, crying and bleeding like hell, but definitely alive and awake, that she accepted this new feature of her new reality: She wasn’t going to die anytime soon. Maybe never. An eternity of this was all that was left for her.

Would she age? She didn’t know, but the thought of watching everyone she loved die before her eyes was frightening, even more that the growing powers inside her.

She the cursed everything, wishing for it to disappear. If she couldn’t die, she didn’t want a world where she had loved so much and had been so happy. But the cruel destiny, and a cruel demon triangle, wouldn’t even grant her wish.

“Woah there, girl. You might want to rethink that wish”, he said in one dream but Mabel could hear the underlying mocking tone. “You what they say, it might become true.”

And next morning nothing happened. With all her powers, all the time of the world, and she couldn’t have her one and only wish granted.

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As months passed, she had to sit and watch her grunkles worry about her condition, as Ford used to say when they talked about it, when Mabel seemed to sleep less and less to the point that at night she didn’t have anything to do but go to the dreamscape out of boredom. She didn’t need to eat as well, and just sat there watching them eat with her empty eyes, creeping them until she decided to wait for them to eat anywhere else on the house. Stan felt guilty when he was relieved by her decision instead of worried.

And her parents? They lied to them, saying that the twins wanted so hard to stay in Gravity Falls, that they had a home tutor for them. Ford searched his old professor documents and send them by fax (changing his name, since Mabel’s parents didn’t know about Ford and explaining it would mean explaining about Weirdmaggedon) until it was settled that “the twins” could stay. Stan cried for the first time in many years when the call ended. He had failed to everyone, he was supposed to protect the children from harm this summer and he failed.

The summer ended and Mabel got the hang of her new powers, Bill’s powers. She almost could hear his voice on her ear teaching her how to do it. Levitation, flying and making stuff float at will was as easy as breathing now, and small sparks of blue fire appeared on her fingertips when she got angry for whatever reason. The Pines household had accepted the new condition and no longer horrified them, so when she confessed she was being visited by the triangle demon on her “dreams” Ford didn’t even flinch. He has begun to accept that Mabel wasn’t going to turn back to normal. Not when he could almost hear the cursed voice of the bane of his existence on her words. Her eyes no longer full of wonder, but a void so deep and black with a little twist of madness.

--------------------------

The first time that Mabel realised that she couldn’t feel anything was on her own funeral. Watching her parents cry before the empty tombs of her brother and hers she couldn’t bring any grief or sadness to surface, not even one little tear came to her call and her deep brown eyes observed with curiosity as her mother broke down on her father’s arms, the loud sobs filling the enormous cemetery they were burying the little coffins made for the lost twins that died in an “accident” back in Gravity Falls. Just a little fire in the forest near the house and her parents believed that neither body could be found on the ashes.

She knew it was necessary to fake their death up to some point, but time passed so fast now that when Ford asked her to make the fire on the anniversary of Weirdmaggedon it seemed like a blink of the eye for her. Being a creature of pure energy was starting to weigh down on her and it was now that she took notice of her aging grunkles with even more wrinkles that last summer, while she remained the same.

“Oh”, she had said then before turning back to the backyard to fake her own death.

--------------------------

When Soos got married, three years later, everyone had already moved on from the loss of the little Pine twins and her name was written somewhere in a slab on the main road. The ceremony was small, just a few friends and family of the hispanic friend and his beautiful wife, Melody. She was expecting, no surprise, and the man-child never seemed so happy on his life. He promised on his wedding that he would be the father he never got and wished for his baby to be happier than he ever was in his life.

Mabel made a silent promise to make that true when she watched from the sidelines, invisible to the eyes of the townsfolk attending the ceremony; and, for a second, she heard the demon’s voice in her ears, laughing. “It’s that a deal I hear?”, he said. Mabel didn’t flinch. He had been haunting her in her “dreams”, telling her that making deals was now in her nature, that she eventually would fill in his eternal job, that she would trick people into making horrible deals out of desperation. She was disgusted by it, remembering just how he had tricked her brother and her into Weirdmaggedon and resulting in the loss of everything she loved and was.

She was never going into making deals.

--------------------------

A few months after the 10th anniversary of the official death of the twins, another Pines left them for good. Stanley Pines never was one for a healthy life and cholesterol took him away peacefully one night. He didn’t suffer, even died with a smile, maybe a good dream he was having. The town mourned for a week the former Mr Mystery, as Soos took his job and has been managing the Shack for a few years now, visiting the shop and giving their condolences to the friends and family that remained. Mabel floated around listening to the soft whispers, again feeling completely left out without the ability to relate to their feelings. She had never felt so alienated in her life, so different and weird. She looked exactly the same as she did when her life changed forever, the same skirt, the same sweater, the same headband. Her now black eyes was the only thing out of place, that’s true, but no one looked at them now so it didn’t matter anymore.

“Mabel, come here”, she heard Ford’s voice and then she realised that the house was once more empty and it was snowing on the outside. Was it winter again? But it seemed yesterday that her grunkle died and it was in October! Nevertheless, she approached her grunkle and looked at him waiting for what he wanted to say.

The man sighed. She wasn’t his niece anymore and it was more than obvious now. She was in this realm barely every few weeks for a day or two and she didn’t seem to realise that her body was translucent most of the time she became visible for them to speak. She wasn’t the demon he feared she’d become, but she wasn’t Mabel; it was something else in between, a being made of energy from another world in a little girl’s shape with some memories of its vessel’s past life. It didn’t fight for dominion, as the child’s mind and body surrendered to it so many years ago before his own eyes, and fused successfully with her. He wondered if she recognized him at all, if she felt as sad as he was for everything that happened to her and Dipper, if she did care at all for the people she used to love and cherish. He asked himself not few times if there was any humanity left in her body or if she was lost and dead as the town believed her to be.

Nevertheless, he explained that didn’t have much left, that his old body was giving up on him, and that she was going to be on her own. Eventually, she was going to leave Gravity Falls and spend eternity alone… and forgotten. He launched himself in a speech so many times practised alone in the rusty lab downstairs, not looking really at the void eyes of Mabel in front of him, not caring anymore if she was listening or not. When he finished, he took the cane he hated so much and went to his room to sleep.

He died next spring the same way as his twin, with a gentle smile on his lips, dreaming of the future he was robbed with his family united and adventures with his brother in the Stan’o War II.

--------------------------

It was raining that night, but for Mabel it wasn’t even a breeze on her skin. She didn’t feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, not even the cold as it was winter again. A year has passed and when she went to see her grunkle she discovered that he died already. Soos told her so with an uncomfortable smile on his face and a nervous glance to his chubby little son, now six years old, and she got the message that a demon like her wasn’t welcome anymore to the house that once was her home. Mabel smiled in understanding and left to never be seen again, leaving him with a weird pain in his chest wondering if the guilt he was feeling should really be there. He had a family now, responsibilities, and as awesome as having his own ghost haunting the Shack was, he knew she was in the end of the day a demon, and his son’s well being came first.

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Kevin, as she later learned was the little boy’s name, was now a young man and Mabel watched him every now and them, taking care of the man’s health and security as she promised so many years ago. Soos’s family was expanding as now two beautiful girls were running around the Shack, sleeping in what once was her room, little twins with identical big smiles and brown eyes full of curiosity. She swore to protect them, the same as their big brother, so they would never suffer the pain of losing their other half like she did in the past.

Soos was getting a few grey hairs on his head, same as Melody, and from time to time Wendy came to the Shack to see how everything was going around, talk about the Pines and have a moment to remember that fateful summer. They were the only ones who did.

Mabel appreciated that. If they didn’t talk about it she knew she’d had forgotten her name long ago as no one called her anymore. She spent almost always in the dreamscape, practising with her powers and focusing in the balance of the demon inside of her. Bill was always there calling her Shooting Star, mocking her, asking for her brother, taking her to the limit. Her only company was the hated demon that took away her life, and she had told him so, but stopped trying to kill him since he seemed to be made of smoke in her dreams.

Little by little, he had said, all that made her Mabel would disappear. “It’s only a matter of time, Shooting Star, that you accept me as your only companion.”

--------------------------

She knew what he meant when she watched her last friend die before her own eyes. Wendy was the one who lasted more than everyone else, reaching more than a hundred years. This time it was cancer what took her friend away and Mabel could do nothing to stop it, her body didn’t respond and could not say the words to make a “deal” to make her stay alive a few more years. At least the woman was loved and had great life, a beautiful family by her side, and lots of children to remind her the wonders of adventure.

Mabel, on the other hand, was now truly alone.

She came back to the dreamscape feeling a bit of despair, a now strange feeling on her empty body, and tears finally came to her eyes. She cried and cried for her lost friend, her brother, her family, her childhood. All of that, brutally taken from her by that disgusting demon laughing at her from his spot a few steps behind.

She turned around and screamed at his face everything she felt, how she hated him and everything he had done to her. She launched herself to him and for the first time, the triangle was solid enough for her to do some real damage to his mocking eye. God, how she hated it when he did that.

Mabel cursed him and screamed so loud until her throat hurt and the tears stopped falling. Her punches didn’t seem to do much damage and his “smile” was still in place when her little arms didn’t move again for another hit.

“Tired already, Shooting Star?”

“Shut up.” Even her own voice seemed strange to her. “I hate you so much.”

“Awwww”, he said with another laugh.

“You destroyed my life”. She closed her eyes feeling more tears coming. Feelings she couldn’t comprehend came back full force and Mabel was being crushed by years of unattended emotions.

“You did”, he answered in a more serious tone, “that day when you tried to kill Bill Cipher. Or have you forgotten already?”

“Shut the fuck up!”, the girl growled and a pulse of energy emerged from her body, launching the triangle a few metres back. “You did it! You killed my brother! You made me this… monster I am now!”. The girl jumped again to the fallen form of her enemy and pinned him under her body.

“Oh dear, don’t be like that”, he smiled with his eye and Mabel felt sick to her stomach. “We are so going to enjoy an eternity together~”.

“I refuse to be stuck with you, Bill Cipher!”, and as if she had said the funniest joke in the multiverse, the demon started to laugh his existence out. The girl-demon was slightly taken aback, but still weary if this was some kind of trick.

“You amuse me, Shooting Star”, the triangle managed to say, “Do you really not recognize yourself?”, and the weirdest thing happened.

Where there wasn’t a mouth, now was a smirk. The triangle was gone with a blink and in his place was the pale body of a girl with a severe need of sunlight, her eyes a black pool of nothingness and her body barely covered by an outfit she did recognize too well, but it was so battered and torn by years of use that the colors had disappeared completely, leaving them almost in greyscale.

She was looking at herself in a mirror. Her hands cut with the raw edges of the glass and blood started to run all over her reflection, making it even more horrible.

The other Mabel laughed at her face, her voice a mix of his voice and her own.

“Surprise!”, she said. “This whole time you were talking to yourself! Isn’t it funny? C’mon Shooting Star, you are the only one not having any fun.”

She jumped back and watched in horror as the reflection got up and jumped out of the mirror, before watching her with a curious smile. She couldn’t believe it. She was really crazy now. Bill was never there, only herself alone in the void of her existence, and it would be so until the end of times. If she ever considered the small possibility of company, even that of her nemesis’, she wasn’t having any of that now. She was truly and completely alone .

Alone…

Mabel smiled and laughed softly. Her walking reflection caught her thoughts and smiled too.

… for all eternity…

It was now a full scale laugh fest, neither of them knowing exactly what was so funny, but laughing until their voices merged as one. Mabel barely thought that how could she even consider that Bill was there, it was obvious now to her the impossibility of it. After all, it seemed her destiny was to be alone.

Alone and forgotten.

She laughed the last bit of happiness there was inside of her body and opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed. Unsurprisingly, her reflection wasn’t there.

The girl-demon looked down to her clothes and thought they needed a change. Something more… fitting. Black pants and a white buttoned shirt appeared instead of the old Mabel-y outfit, along with a black coat lined in gold star motives. Yeah, now we were talking.

She willed a cane in her right hand and smirked when it appeared out of thin air. It was a cool symbol of her predicament and how she came to be. Bill was going to be around her existence forever and the least she could do was pay little tribute to him. But still there was something missing…

With a flick of her wrist, a top hat was in her left hand and she put it in its rightful place. Now, it was just perfect.

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The little girl didn’t know why she was doing this. The book she found was nearly illegible and kinda spooky, but it promised the power to protect herself and the ones she cared for. The only thing she needed was some candles and time to make the proper ritual.

The latin words sounded weird out loud, but it was written beside the instructions of the circle she drew with chalk, so they must be the right words. She was sure she said them right when the world shifted and became black and white, all colors fading and time slowing until the little fly on her window seemed frozen in place.

Blue fire emerged from the pentagram on the floor of her bedroom and a figure with a cane materialized on the center of the circle surrounded by the flames as if they didn’t burn at all despite the intense heat.

“Well well…”, the figure said taking off the top hat and twisting the cane on the right hand. “It’s nice to be back!”

The girl was taken aback when the demon was a girl no older than her. Maybe a bit taller, but the same round face, the same big eyes, the same short legs.

“Are you… Are you the demon? Cipher?”, the girl asked trying to keep her voice even. The other girl smiled at the name.

“You could say that~”, she answered putting the hat back over her black headband.

“I need your help”, the child managed to say after a few seconds of hesitation. If this was the demon on the book then she could help her. “I will pay you with everything I have, I’ll give you my soul… but don’t let him take my brother!”. That seemed to spark curiosity on the yellow-ish eyes of the strange demon before her.

“I’m listening.”

“My father.. he is trying to kill me to get to my little brother. His mother died and I am the only one left who could protect him.”

The demon looked at her with those deep eyes that told many stories, many things passing through them so fast she couldn’t figure out what the other was thinking behind the serious mask of indifference.

“I see”, was all she said. Hope bloomed on the girl’s heart and a need for this to be get over with soon rose. Her brother was in danger and the demon was looking at her room like it was some kind of museum!

“Are you going to help me?”, the need was obvious on her voice and the demon looked back to her with a wicked smile on her lips.

“It’d come with a price, you know.”

“Anything!”, the child shrieked. That amused the demon even more.

“All right then, we’ll work the details later. Tonight, you’ll sleep like a baby and tomorrow all will be gone. It’s a deal?”, the girl-demon extended her gloved hand surrounded in blue flames and the other girl didn’t even hesitate. The decision was made. Her brother was worth it.

“It’s a deal.”

And with another creepy maniacal laugh the demon was gone, color was back and time resumed its course as if she was never there.

Next morning, her house was filled with police sirens and medics. Her father had been stabbed overnight in a robbery gone wrong. An aunt she had never heard of came home in tears, willing to adopt them.

It was many many years later when she found out her price: She couldn’t find, no matter how hard she looked, one sole photograph of her with her brother.

#gravity falls #mabel pines #mabill #billdip #dipper pines #bill cipher #gil writes #writeblr #fanfiction #fanfic #weirdmageddon #weirdmageddon AU

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joshslater · 5 years ago

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Crossdressing

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This is by far my least favorite part of the week, Sunday mass. The love of Jesus is everywhere and eternal, and I firmly believe he can be celebrated throughout the week, but still I didn't really mind giving up a few hours to worship. The hymns are stuffy and father Jones only has his set of 50 sermons to rotate through, but it gives a sense of community, purpose, coming together. And therein lies the problem.

I glance at my watch, 9:52. I feel like I probably had too much tea at breakfast. The seats closest to the aisle in the pew right opposite are empty. Perhaps he is sick. I feel a quick sense of relief, until it hits me what a shameful thought it was, wishing him bad fortune. Or supporting it at least. Right then, as on cue, I heard them. I didn't even have to turn my head to know it was them. The entire Johnson family filed in, and at the end was Christian. One year older than me, but almost looking younger with his odd hair cut, long on top and buzzed on the sides, his thin, leather necklace, his sparkling ear studs.

The church bells snapped me out of it, and I looked around. Ten o’clock already!? Had I been staring all the time? People must have noticed. Shouldn't a church of all places be safe, where you can devote yourself to God without... I don’t want to feel like this. I know his schedule by heart so I can avoid him at school, best I can. But the powers to be isn't content with that, are they? No, every time I make a delivery for Old Joe to the motel there was a good chance Christian would be in the reception, signing the paper.

And here, in church, the Johnson family have been sitting across the aisle next to us for as long as I could remember. Through all the years I’ve barely said more than hi to him. For the longest time I hadn’t even given it thought. But during the last year, while doing deliveries, was the first time I really spoke to him, really noticed him. The dreams have just gotten worse ever since. In biology Mr. Anderson talked about how the body creates lots of new and different hormones while we grow. They are needed for us to grow, but it makes us feel things that aren’t our own feelings. Just like injecting sedatives makes you sleepy or injecting cannabis makes you violent. It’s just plain chemistry. Once you understand that, and that it is a natural part of the design, a test of faith before adulthood, then it is easy to do what is right.

Father Jones was doing his sermon on taking care of yourself so you can tend to others. If I ever were to number them, what number would I give this one. It’s certainly not number one. "In Mark 12:31 Jesus tells us to love your neighbor as yourself. That doesn't mean anything if you don't love yourself first." How many times had I already heard this?

I glance towards Christian. He is paging through the Bible, also not paying much attention to father Jones either. He got the blue outfit on today. White shirt, as always, and a dark blue suit. He would look so much better with a tie. As I scan his body suddenly my gaze lands directly in his eyes. He is looking at me. In panic I just continue to stare, held in place like a cow beamed up to a flying saucer. Finally I break away, and embarrassed stare straight down at my shoes. I feel the heat in my face as it blushes. Oh, lord. He would see that too, if he's still looking.

I keep my eyes off all of the Johnson’s for the entire rest of the sermon. What is best, to avoid him entirely after, or come up with some excuse for looking at him? "I really like your haircut" No, that would be even worse. It is time for prayer, and all around people close their eyes and the entire church falls silent. As I close my eyes I know what I must do. Something I’ve put off for far too long by not admitting it, by not calling it out by its true name.

"Dear Lord, it's me. It's about Christian Johnson again. I pray he has a happy and healthy life, but I would also like to pray for myself. God, please make me not love Christian any more."

I didn't feel a thing and it really should have been more jarring than it was when I opened my eyes. I was staring down into a pair of blue trousers. As if in slow motion I raise my head and realize I’m on the other side of the aisle. Looking over it I can see myself, mouth open like a bird house. We just stared at each other.

As we gather outside I can hear Christian make the first move, talking to my mother.

"Mum, I'm sorry, but I completely forgot I promised to help Christian move furniture at the motel." "Now?" "Yes, we said right after church." "But what about your clothes?"

I inched my way closer, desperate to play along so we can talk in private as soon as possible. "You still have the old, torn clothes in the back, right?" "Hello, Christian. I didn't know you two knew each other that well." she turned back to Christian. "You said you would donate all that rubbish last week? Oh, well. Don't forget we eat at three." she turned back to me "You are of course also welcome to join us, Christian."

After Christian had taken out the cloths from my car, we took his car and he drove us to the motel less than 10 minutes away. I’m sure we both had scores of questions to ask, but somehow felt like it wasn’t the time for it. Not yet. Instead I flat out stared at my body, sitting next to me, driving Christian’s Ford faster than I would have ever dared. What did I feel? How did this happen? "Do you think this is the work of Satan?" "In church? On a Sunday? During mass? For God’s sake, it happened during prayer." “Don’t..” I bite my tongue. There was enough to deal with without adding more drama. We drove in silence the remaining few minutes. Thinking about it, he didn’t actually take God’s name in vain, did he?

As we were closing in on the motel he told me what to say to Mr. Richter in the lobby. Tell him we just need to rest for a few hours, and ask for keys to number eight. "What if it is already taken?" "Nah, it needs repairs. Only staff use it to rest or shower. Mr. Richter is the only one in at this hour on Sundays."

It went quick, in and out. Christian grabbed the keys from me and almost ran to door eight. I hurried after him. Once in the motel room he rushed to the toilet and locked the door. I could hear a torrent in there, and a muffled "What the fuck have you been drinking?" It was weird hearing my own voice use the f-word.

While he was busy in there I decided to swap clothes. I had taken off the suit and was just about to put on the jeans and T-shirt we got from his car when I froze. Standing in front of me, in the mirror, is Christian wearing only underwear. Or is this me now? My feelings had certainly not gone away. I pick up his T-shirt. I’ve seen it on him before, i recall. It smells citrusy. Suddenly the bathroom door unlocks, and I scramble to get the T-shirt on.

My body walks out, dressed in my old, torn jeans and T-shirt. "No need to be shy. I've seen it all, more than you." He stops, gets a quizzical look and slowly moves around me. "Actually, I have never seen me from behind." "I'm so sorry, Christian. This is all my fault." "It is?" "I was praying to not love you anymore." "You love me?" "I did. I guess I do. But I am you. I don’t know what I feel. Confused at least." "What about old you?" He sits down on the bed. "What about him?" "Do you think you can love yourself too?" I sit down next to him and look into my old eyes. I feel my face break out the biggest smile possible. “Fuck yeah.”

A few hours from now I will have my most bizarre and possibly awkward Sunday lunch ever. We really should talk things through properly before it, what to say, how to behave, what to do after. But for now I just want to sit on the bed in room eight and lean on Christian. Hear him breathe. Feel his warmth.

“In church today, what did you pray for?” “This.”

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dy1kjxxa-blog · 5 years ago

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Can a 16 year old male afford a Mustang with a V8( GT or LX)?

I ve discussed getting a mustang to my family and friends for quite a while now. I know the downsides, high insurance, bad gas mileage, and too much power(according to my parents). I m a big fan of the foxbody( 79- 93) mustangs and I also really want a V8 and I also want stick if that matters. The way I see it, I m going to pay a lot for insurance no matter what, so why not pay a little bit more and pay for the car I really want. It doesn t matter if its an LX or GT even though I ve heard that LX s are cheaper, but how much cheaper. I ve looked around for answers to this question and all I ve seen are responses that tell me either that its stupid to get a Mustang or I find answers that have links for sites that will tell me. I just want a good answer and possibly how much insurance will cost me. I only want minimum coverage and it will be on my mom s policy. Also, one more question, how much cheaper do you believe a 90 s Honda Civic(2 door sedan) would cost me in comparision to a V8 Mustang? Thanks for any responses, Aaron.

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itsworn · 6 years ago

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Once in a Lifetime Find: 1969 Boss 429 Hidden for Decades!

[Ed note: Sometimes a good story just falls in our lap via the email inbox or website, and this is a case of just that. Alex Myrman recently emailed the Mustang Monthly inbox ([email protected]) about his Rare Find, a ’69 Boss 429 with less than 10,000 miles that had lived out of sight in a garage for decades. Alex’s words were so descriptive that we’ll just let him tell the story. If anyone else has a similar story or recollection about Mustangs and thinks people will enjoy reading it, feel free to send it to us and make sure to include high-resolution (at least 2048×1360 pixels) photos.]

Like most Boss Mustang enthusiasts a Boss 429 is usually on the wish list. Mine was way off in the “maybe someday” category. A list that started back in high school around 1980 when I was first bitten by the car bug after getting my drivers license. I was then immediately drawn towards 1969-1970 Mustangs, Mach 1s, Boss 302s, and 429s, a love that has not faded in nearly 40 years. I also learned quickly when it comes to buying a Boss 429 the choices will be far and few between. This, along with a budget in mind makes it even harder if not impossible to find the right car. So when opportunity knocked I needed to be prepared to jump.

My opportunity started last summer when I was hanging out at the office and talking cars with a co-worker. He heard I was working on older Mustangs and was curious about what kind they were. The discussion turns to the current projects I’m involved with, ’69 and ’70 Boss 302s. I showed him some photos of the cars and shop while talking about the work I’ve been doing with the various cars, mostly minor restoration projects, pretty much anything except paint and body work. He mentions his dad has a red 1969 Boss 429 that he bought brand new off the lot “back in the day”.

Dirty but fairly complete with it’s original numbers matching drivetrain. From here I could immediately spot some missing items.

The owner had collected all the original items and stowed them in the trunk. Also, all original documentation was found in the glove box backing up ownership and mileage.

He continued on, saying it only has “like 8,000 miles on it and he hasn’t driven it in 20 years—it wasn’t running. My first thought was that I would really like to just go see this car but I also had to ask if his dad was thinking of selling it. The answer was no, he didn’t want to sell it. But whenever I come across folks that own ‘69-‘70 Boss cars I always just ask if I can come see it. I like these cars and I’m always interested in seeing other’s cars too. Also, I’m always looking for new projects to work on and I thought maybe his dad would like some help just getting it running again and back in shape after all these years. After learning that he really hasn’t been motivated to work on it over the last several years I thought it could be an opportunity to work on it. So we left it at that and he would let me know if his dad would be interested in letting me look at it or having help getting it running.

Several months went by and I didn’t hear anything. Not being very pushy and thinking that it wasn’t for sale, I didn’t pursue it. It was also winter and sometimes people are not very motivated to dig out old cars in the cold and snow.

Extraction from the garage. Though it did crank over, we did not try to start it after sitting all those years. The original tie down hooks came in handy to get those Polyglas tires rolling again.

About mid-January on the way to Arizona for some vacation I get a phone call from my co-worker saying that if I was serious about the car his dad would make arrangements for me to come over. Not sure what he meant by “serious about the car” I asked for clarification. Are we just going to look at it or was it for sale? It is for sale was the answer. I wanted to respond with “I’ll be over tomorrow,” but we were half way driving across the country on the way to Arizona. A few minutes later we learn his dad (who wishes to remain anonymous) will be traveling too about the time we get back and won’t be home for several weeks after that. But not to worry; we’ll all just wait until everyone is back from vacation. In the meantime, my co-worker sent me some photos, I ordered a deluxe Marti report.

It gets to be around late February and everyone is back from traveling. We have some conversations on the phone and the owner decides he would rather wait for nicer weather so he can get out in the garage and gather up items and be prepared to answer questions knowing I was interested in the car. By then I had learned that the camshaft was replaced in the early ‘70s along with having headers installed. I could also see from some photos that the smog and power steering pumps were removed, the air cleaner snorkel was missing, and the distributor replaced. I was also suspicious that the carburetor was swapped because of fuel line routing. The owner was not sure but felt very confident all those parts were there in the garage but with warmer weather he would get out there and round everything up, also any documentation he could find showing ownership dating back to the purchase.

KK 1982 never had much chance to acquire miles since being mostly parked since 1981. The odometer showing 8,553 miles.

Verification began with inspecting and confirming all VIN information and seeing the all important VIN and KK number. From here I ordered a Marti report and check into some essential history of the Boss 429.

Later in April the owner called me and said he was ready to show the car and we could meet up. Looking at calendars we settled on Monday April 30th, I mention that because I thought it would have been neat to do this on April 29th (Boss 429 Day) but Monday the 30th it was. My brother in-law, who has been following this story very closely over the last several months, was very interested in going along too. Honestly I really wanted him along because he’s very good at spotting body work/damage, mice damage and dealing with titles. So me being focused on verifying the car’s authenticity as a Boss 429 and him as the viability of it like any other car. So we would compliment each other’s skills and go check this car out.

Monday the 30th came, the weather was great, warm and in the 70s with a few sprinkles in the morning, clearing in the afternoon. The plan was to be there around 10am and inspect the car for about two hours. If it turned out to be too rough or in really bad shape we could just call it a day and leave after that. If it checks out, proves to be the real deal and we strike a deal then we could leave, get a bite to eat, come back with a trailer, load up and go.

KK 1982 out in the sun after many years and looking fantastic. From here it was apparent the T-code Candy Apple Red paint was going to clean up very nice.

The car was never covered and being in the smaller single car garage probably saved it some abuse.

After all these years KK 1982 was out in the light and looking good.

Upon arrival the Boss 429 was tucked in the garage just as the photos had shown with a good layer of dust coating everything. But the odometer read 8553 and the car was being held up with the original Polyglas tires that looked great on their original Magnum 500s with the distinctive large Boss 429 center caps. Further inspection revealed an interior that has not seen sunlight in 20 years and not much beyond that anyway being such low mileage. No cracking, no fading, nothing worn out, no mouse damage, just dusty. Opening the glove box revealed a collect of invaluable paper work and factory manuals. The build sheet, Kar Kraft inspection sheet, warranty information, and registration all dating back to July 1969 when the car was purchased in the owner’s name.

The owner was working on a farm in Iowa at that time and read about Ford’s new Boss 429 Mustang in a magazine earlier that year. Thinking that he had to have one he went to Whelan Motors in Iowa early in the spring of 1969 with the desire to purchase a Boss 429. The car was ordered and he received notifications every now and then about the car’s progress and when it would be delivered. This car was actually built July 18th and delivered to the dealership on Monday July 28th. All 1969 Boss 429s were, for the most part, built identical with the only factory option being color—this one was paint code T, Candy Apple Red. Also being built late in the model year, one week before the 1969 production ended for Boss 429s it was delivered with a T code Boss 429 engine. No other options were installed (rear spoiler, slats, etc.) at the dealer and the owner took it home the next day on Tuesday evening July 29th.

After driving it for a while the owner faced a decision I think other Boss 429 owners en-countered in the early ‘70s, “can I get more performance out of this car?” After all, these cars were delivered to the public in a slightly detuned configuration and Ford was sending letters to owners describing how to squeeze more horse power from the Blue Crescent 429. So after some discussion he decided to install a new higher performing Crane hydraulic camshaft kit and headers. The factory dual exhaust was replaced with some Thrush mufflers dumping right out under the car before the axle—classic ‘70s muscle car modifications. The carburetor was also swapped out for a 850 double pumper and the distributer was upgraded.

With it not running we need to solicit some help to get it up the trailer ramps.

Half way home and a pit stop. The Boss 429’s stance is unmistakable even on the trailer and got lots of thumbs-ups on the highway.

Our inspection determined that the air pump/smog system was removed too, and also the power steering system because of the header clearance. All these parts were preserved and saved along with the snorkel for the air cleaner, heat shield, and the original camshaft with only a couple hundred miles on it. The distributor and carburetor could not be found. The paint and body were in very good shape after rubbing off some dust and we discovered all original glass and rust-free sheetmetal along with the original VIN-stamped engine and transmission.

There had been a minor repair on the left rear quarter panel that a receipt in the glove box had shown to cost $54 in 1973 to repair. A few rock chips behind the tires were the only signs on the paint and body of it being a used car—the owner said it was never driven in winter or rain. The tires still holding air did not have signs of dry rot or issues, leaky and fragile valve stems were the only thing to pay attention to. The only thing that made this car dirty were the trips it made down some Iowa dirt roads back and fourth to the farm.

Satisfied with the authenticity of the car and the supporting documentation for ownership in hand, we struck a deal. Even though we were missing a carburetor and distributor, we had located everything else to put it back to essentially day one and make it a complete Boss 429.

We didn’t bring a trailer with us, but I had reserved one nearby at a local U-Haul, just in case. A trip to the bank for a cashiers check and we retuned with the trailer. The car wasn’t running: it did crank over fine but after siting for all those years we didn’t want to try to start it. So it was winched up on the trailer after being pushed out in to the sunlight for the first time in a couple of decades. From its first view outside we could tell the paint, trim, glass, and interior should clean up great. And, putting a car like that on a trailer and driving 100 miles down the interstate is always a treat, with folks passing by looking and giving the thumbs up. Attention a car like that truly deserves.

A few days after getting the Boss 429 to its new home the cleaning began. A couple buckets of soapy water revealed excellent paint and glass. Later, my father would come over and help with waxing and buffing while my wife dove in on the chrome with some polish, which all turned out incredible after all those years. The interior was cleaned and aired out and the rims and tires cleaned.

About two weeks after purchasing the car I contacted the owner and asked about coming back out to look for the two missing parts, the distributor and carburetor. He had done such a great job saving everything else that it didn’t make sense these two parts were not around. He completely agreed and was very gracious in letting us return to search for the parts. He said he would sleep better at night knowing if they were there or not as well. When we got there we began a methodical search throughout the three-car garage. Within minutes the carburetor was located wrapped in heavy plastic looking like the day is was removed nearly 48 years ago. But after three hours of searching we could not locate the distributor. We were all puzzled but the owner stated that “If I ever come across, it’s yours.”

Wash day! A couple of buckets of good soapy water took the years of dust off.

After a mild buffing and wax the original paint really came alive. The chrome was polished along with rims and tires getting a thorough cleaning.

It’s very exciting to own this car and to think about the many years of enjoyment it’ll bring with working on it, driving it, and learning about all the unique features of the 1969 http://www.mustangandfords.com/featured-vehicles/1807-a-tale-of-two-super-cobra-jets/ 429. The plan is to leave it mostly as-is in a unrestored survivor type condition after just being cleaned and checked for mechanical soundness and drivability. One of my favorite parts is also to bring an unknown car out to the Boss 429 community to join the ranks, be viewed and enjoyed.

Thinking back about the wish list and how I couldn’t have asked for a better scenario to purchase a Boss 429: One owner (related to someone I’ve known), low miles, excellent condition, complete car. Truly a once in a lifetime find.

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lazytacomoon-blog · 6 years ago

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Winfall North Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 27985

"Winfall North Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 27985

Winfall North Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 27985

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