#so the whole week I was pretty much on and straining my leg

[catcatb0y]

I think I might have permanently fucked up my knee last con...

[chocum]

COMING DOWN !

— bunched up, sweet little whimpers, he always gets so sensitive under your touch feat. choso kamo

WARNINGS. femreader (she/her) x goodguy!cho :3 mentions of violence/death, sub cho, dom reader, overstimulation, begging, blowjob, premature ejaculation ;( crying + 1.2k wc note. i’m so insane abt choso it’s actually scary, he’s all i think about. tysm for all the support on my first post. love u all! feedback + reblogs are appreciated! also art by @/swag_yay on x. ty again & enjoyyy ᡣ𐭩

choso hated missions with a passion that pierced his very soul.

his cursed energy manipulation and combat skills are unrivaled, making him crucial to a mission’s success, but the relentless nature of them drained him beyond words— both mentally and physically.

they feel so repetitive: eliminate curses, protect civilians, prevent damage. eliminate curses, eliminate curses, eliminate.

he has always been driven by a deep desire to protect everyone he could, especially those who were unable to do so themselves, but the constant cycle of violence and death confused him—wrestling with self-doubt, doing mental gymnastics, trying to justify his actions. the cognitive strain became a heavy burden that compounded during missions, further exhausting him like heavy buckets of water dousing an already flickering flame.

and after meeting you — his sweet, sweet girl — his hatred for missions only grew.

the ache of missing you constantly gnawed at him. your homey scent. your taste still fresh on his tongue, preventing him from concentrating because, in his mind, he’s still tangled in your sheets, stealing sweet kisses that linger on his lips long after they’ve left yours.

when out scouting, he would catch glimpses of couples hand in hand in the streets sporting deep smiles, making his stomach twist— his brows pinching together, deepening the ridge between them.

his sole solace was the thought of returning home to his pretty girl once everything was over— it pushes him to keep going, to keep fighting, even avoiding shoko because he preferred your clumsy little hands to patch him up.

finally done with his latest three-week mission — a seeming eternity away from you — he was being driven to your place, to you, home.

head lolling back against the car seat, he spreads his legs wider, rolling his hips to adjust himself, before sinking, letting the leather seat swallow him whole. he tilts his head to the side, deep purple irises flickering, to watch the familiar scenery— large leafy trees crowding the darkening highway under evening skies.

after he waved his goodbyes, giving thanks to his driver, he stumbled up to the door, his fingers fumbling awkwardly with the keys underneath the dim light of the porch. on the other side, the distinct sound of the lock clicking open causes you to bolt up, rushing to greet him.

he pushes it open and there you are. looking up at him with that big smile he adores so much lighting your face— pretty eyes sparkling with relief. you squeal and fling your arms around him without hesitation and he does the same, burying his face into the side of your neck, feeling your hair brush against him, inhaling deeply.

you always smelled so good— a blend of your natural scent and hints of vanilla from your body wash. he’s been craving that scent for so long, growing dizzy now that it finally embraces him, his body falling limp, so weak in your smaller arms.

you pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, fingers gently tracing the smooth lines on his face— lines that seemed deeper since you’d last seen him.

“i missed you so much” you hummed faintly as he cupped your face, nuzzling your warm cheeks against his rough hands.

“i missed you so much more”

he leaned down to find your lips. they felt so much softer than he remembered. kissing you deeply, his calloused hand cradling the back of your neck, drawing you closer into the warmth of his embrace.

and when you moan against him— oh, it sounds so sweet, the blood rushing to his cock so quickly. next thing he knows, he’s rutting against your thigh, pressing against you so, so desperately, almost mounting you.

“what’s wrong cho?” a soft whine escapes him at the sudden loss of contact, “tell me, baby, use your words”

“i’m sorry,” he breathes, a pretty blush crawling up his neck, “just missed you so much— got excited”

“i know, my pretty boy, but ‘m here now, okay? let me take care of you. i know you missed it.” you take his hand, drawing him to your room as he follows obediently, shutting the door behind him, “did you touch yourself without me?”

he shakes his head, his fluffy hair cascading down to rest on his shoulders. “you .. you told me not no”

“good boy”

you push against his shoulders, gently guiding him to sit on the bed, his breath hitching so sweetly watching you lift yourself to straddle his waist. connecting your lips once more, hips grinding against him so slowly— rocking back and forth. his mouth now tinted pink and tenderly swollen from your ardent kisses, you move down to his neck planting a trail of light ones along the sensitive skin, each touch eliciting subtle little quivers and soft exhales. his fists bunch up the sheets, he—

“sorrysorrysorry” he babbles breathlessly— endlessly, his pants turning damp, material darkening as his cock twitches and pulses so cutely, cum drooling out his sensitive slit, “just feel so good against me. been so long. couldn’t even touch myself when you sent those pictures. it’s so sensitive”

“shhhh ‘s okay, cho.” a finger pressed against his pout— pushing its way in for him to suckle on warmly before you slide down to your knees. trailing your hands down his thighs, tugging on the hem of his pants, “i’ll clean you up”

he’s still so hard— his tip blushing, crying white cream, and when you take him in your hands, his hips jerk up for you— body still coming down from his high and you’re already taking him in your mouth, cruelly, licking fat stripes up his twitchy length.

“fuck ‘s too much baby, i just- wai, wait, please.” he’s pawing at you, pushing against your head, but he sounds too cute, crying and whimpering around you for you to stop— looks too cute with the prettiest pink blush shrouding his body from the tips of his heated ears to his curled toes.

you gargle and gag around his cock— exaggerating the sounds because you know it drives him insane. he loves when you get so nasty and messy for him, foamy spit bubbling around where his cock plugs your mouth up. your hands move to cup his warm balls, caressing and squeezing gently, coaxing him to cum for you again.

“ah f- baby, i’m so fucking— please. wanna cum for— you. gonna be so good, gonna—”

he cums salty, thick stripes straight down your warm throat with a whine so pretty you wish it was recorded so you could play it over and over and over.

and he’s crying— it’s too much, feels too good — sweetly hiccuping, sniffing as he hides his face behind his hands. such a pretty boy. he’s growing limp in your mouth and you pull off with a whine before kissing up his shaky legs.

“did so good for me, cho, missed having you like this” lightly moving his hands to pet at his damp cheeks, watching keenly how he leans into your touch, wiping pretty doll-like tears with your thumbs.

knowing that he has you to take such good care of him once he’s home will forever ease his mind while he’s away, a comforting thought that lingers like a soft embrace, even in your absence.

[hotxcheeto]

Hi hun! So if possible could you do a modern AU where it’s fem!reader/Abby Anderson, and Abby is a dom (and reader is a sub) and Abby is feeling soft but still wants to do the dirty so she does and is lowkey still bossy but is soft as well, like the reader cry’s from overstimulation and Abby kisses their tears away kind of thing?

I love you and you’re an amazing writer!! 🖤🖤🖤

━ 𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐄

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Smut, cursing, strap-on use ( r! receiving ), oral ( r! receiving ), kissing, teasing, soft dom aspects, slight humiliation? dom abby, sub reader

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - i used text to speech to make sure there's no mistakes and this poor robot. m'not sure if I like it but it's... something :0 thank you for requesting!! ily sm!!

REBLOG MY WORK! I WORK HARD & IT'S APPRECIATED!!

"That's it... look how good you take it."

Her hips continuously kissed your own as she rocked back and forth, breaking in the new bedframe she'd just spent over four-hundred dollars on. She remembered rolling her eyes at the price for something so simple, but you begged because,

'Abby it's perfect and it's pretty look..'

…then there she was, standing in line with the box, her card practically crawling out of her wallet. You were over the moon though, unable to stop rambling about how good it was gonna match the new paint coat that you'd chosen for her to decorate the bedroom with. How all of your wall decorations would look so good above it, and how you wanted her to hang each one.

The frame was nice, she gave it that, but it needed a personal touch.

And that's exactly why her silicone cock was now buried in your cunt and your screams were surely heard by the same neighbors that helped her carry the new couch up the stairs just last week.

"Look at that pretty pussy, taking me so good." You whined something in response, holding loosely onto the pillow that kept your head elevated and your drool from ruining the already tainted, damp sheets. You held it like it was going to disappear if you didn't, crying as the toy brushed your cervix and grinded against your special spot.

"Abby-" You breathed in, moaning out a few pleas for her to go deeper. "M-more-" She found that amusing, laughing at your begs like it was a game, teasing only for a moment before she heard you whimper out a cry, turning your head, straining yourself to just catch a glance of her in the floor-length mirror leaning against the wall.

You looked absolutely pathetic, worn down to the very end of your awareness as her much larger body nearly swallowed you up whole. She held you, but not tight, just enough to keep you in place, and it felt so fucking good.

"Alright, alright, m'sorry..." A kiss was placed to your shoulder blade as her eyes met yours in the reflection, her muscle-chiseled arms cradling your lower half while she pounded into you at a head-spinning pace. "I'll give you more, just gotta spread your legs..."

Her palm pushed your inner thigh, gripping whatever she could and pulling you apart at the same time her pace picked up. Chuckling at the way your face was squished up against the pillow and your eyes failed to stay completely open.

Yours and hers reflection blurred as tears welled up, juices trickling down your ass the moment you felt a familiar bubbly feeling in your gut. Abby noticed too, though, she always noticed, but she would never confess your own tells to you. That would ruin all the fun.

"You gonna come?" She purred against the shell of your ear, reaching up to grab your face, waking you up from whatever cock-drunk daze you'd been in. "Huh? You gonna come pretty girl?"

You nodded in her hold, humming over and over while you pouted. The silicone drove you insane while rubbing against your clit each time it moved in and out, deep and melodic humps keeping you overwhelmed and fuzzy and at this point you weren't sure you knew your own left from right.

"How much you want it?" You made an unintelligible sound that made her let out a breath of entertainment, grinning at you in the reflection. "What was that?" She questioned, wiping your face to get a good look at you. "Really b-bad Abb-by-"

A sharp intake of air assured you that Abby had in fact heard you. The sound of your voice like a tantalizing song written by the sin of lust itself and fucking hell did it make her drill into faster then she'd already had been.

"Yeah?" You nodded, the waves of pleasure coming from the feeling of your bundle of nerves being abused along with your stuffed hole finally rocked you right over the edge. Hiding a scream into the fluff of the pillow and clawing at the sheets while she cooed little praises into your ear.

Legs shaking and arms having given out, you laid there whilst she pushed her pretend dick back and forth. Listening to the pretty sounds of you talk to her with pure gibberish that made no sense to anyone but yourself and even you weren't sure what you were trying to communicate anymore.

It just felt so good.

She fucked you the whole time you came, the aftershock making you twitch with bliss and finally make a move of your own. You'd begun pushing back, trying to meet her hips at the same times she'd move.

"What're you doing?" She smiled, looking down to where you both were connected, your behind doing a nice little wiggle when she gripped your ass cheek.

"Feels good..." You muttered, her body lifting itself off your own sending a rush of cool air down your spine. You took a deep breath, her chest meeting your back in a quick return only in order for her to press little kisses where your tears had frozen on your face. Sinking into your skin. But the wet marks had stayed long enough for her lips to take them away.

"I gotta clean you up..." She said softly, backing up and massaging your hips knowing that neither of you were quite ready to be done just yet. "You wanna-" She watched you shake your head, turning around as best you could with a pout and furrowed eyebrows.

"But baby... you're all messy." You looked in the mirror at the strap that was still deep inside, your own cum dripping down and onto the bed. "Abby..." You huffed, watching unclip the toy and very slowly pull it from your hole.

"Use your words, Y/n." She set the toy aside, rolling you over onto your back. "Gotta know what you want." She already knew though.

She knew all too well.

"I... Abby I want you to clean me up..." She tilted her head, looking down between your legs. "Yeah? M'gonna need you to be more specific. You want me to get a rag-" "No."

She stared blankly for a moment, examining the way you slowly worked up the courage to ask. A simple question in her mind, an act that she performed all the time, all you had to do, was say it.

"With your mouth..." You mumbled, her eyebrows raising and head tilting in just the slightest. "What'd you say?" Your hands flew over your face to hide any flustered expression you might make, face burning though the blush invisible.

"C'mon, tell me baby..." Her hands lightly pulled yours back by your wrists, pecking your nose when you became visible once more.

"I want you to clean me up... with your mouth."

Abby hummed, kissing your cheek so hard that it squished your face and made you giggle, the girl then moving down to your neck. Then... you felt her tongue glide over your nipple, giving another sloppy kiss to your boob before her warm breath trailed lower and lower.

And then... she was there, hovering just above your little bud, staring into your eyes as her tongue finally slipped from her lips, kitten licking your clit. You jerked in response, a slight gasp leaving your mouth as your gaze flickered over to the mirror.

The floral sheets caressing your skin as you watched her lean in closer, though, her line of sight was focused on you.

"Look at me." She demanded delicately, barely squeezing the underneath of your leg. At the sound of her voice, your head bobbled over making her chuckle while her eyes busied themselves in finding each time your face scrunched in the slightest.

Abby liked when her mouth would wrap around your clit, just like it was now, and you'd make one of those higher pitched whines. Sometimes a sob would follow if you'd been pushed over the edge a little bit too far than usual, and she drank each one up.

"Abby-" She'd begun sucking on the little bundle of nerves, moving just down in the slightest to lick the mess of wetness she'd created. The sounds that came from it were unholy and you wondered how anyone could abstain from the act of sex.

"M-more please..." Your voice was soft, though scratchy and in a slight pain from choking back your noises. She didn't respond as she gathered your slick with her two fingers, pushing into your abused hole while listening to you gawk at the feeling.

"Feels s'good." You sounded like a choir of angels when you spoke, looking down at her with those eyes. Those eyes that just seemed to look right through her the moment you began to shudder at the fluttery feeling of your orgasm on it's way.

Her tongue flattened against your clit moving up and down fast before she'd pull back to give it a few tiny flicks. For a moment, this is all she did, going back and forth between the two motions while you struggled to keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Heels digging roughly into the bed below you.

"M'getting close Ab-by-" She caressed your thigh, rubbing pretty circles into your soft skin with fingertips that felt quite the opposite. You focused on that feeling, along with the way she pulled her fingers from your hole to massage the area around it.

She was being something close to gentle, bringing you up before she'd bring you down, but you were still climbing. But you'd just kept grinding weakly into her face while following after your climax that was getting only closer and closer as the milliseconds ticked by.

"Abby-" She nodded her head, not pulling away as you finally tripped yourself over the edge. Crying out as you came against her mouth while pawing at her head, trying your best to push her away despite not wanting her to leave. Abby knew your body, though, well enough to know that if she pulled back now, you wouldn't forgive her.

"Abby! Please- please..." You whimpered, a tingly wave of pleasure coursing from top to bottom, breaths shallow until her tongue slowed.

You laid there for a moment, looking at her in the mirror while she pressed a few soft kisses to your pussy. Then again to your inner thigh before pulling back and meeting your eyes in the reflection.

"So... you like the bedframe?" She smiled when you giggled, nodding your head up and down while turning your head to face her. "Mhm." She allowed you to wrap your arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to you despite both your bodies being covered in a sheer layer of perspiration.

"Good..." She purred, kissing your lips and then your cheek, and then a few other places while listening to you laugh. "Sorry it was so much.." You muttered, messing with her baby hairs while staring with blown out pupils and a far away look.

"Worth it." She said, nipping at your nose and smiling when you squealed and turned your head while laughing.

Tagging: @cherriesxinthespring

[fanfiction4sooya]

Loophole (Sub g!p Nayeon x Sub F!R)

Just wrote this because the thought of subxsub was completely burning my mind and honestly what other bratty sub could be as good as Nayeon?

I really hope y'all like it 💖💖💖 (gonna open my requests this week, love y'all!!!)

Cw: +18, g!p Nayeon, sub x sub, jerking off, mutual masturbation, lots of spit, cum eating, sloppy makeout, little bit of oral, creampie, unprotected sex, lots of pleading, a little bit of dubcon, not really proofread.

Finding a community on the bdsm world wasn't something easy. You searched a lot to find out what you were looking for and when you finally found it, it was a blessing. You learned a lot, but the most important: you learned you were a sub. It meant a lot to you to finally embrace that, to enjoy being told what you could and couldn't do and of course all the other aspects of it.

You also made friends, met real people with the same desires as you. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were two of these friends. They weren't exactly a couple, but you knew they had a D/S situationship going on. You also learned how different one sub could be from one another, Nayeon being the perfect example of the complete opposite of you. She could be bratty and very stubborn when she wanted to, going against her dom in the most defying ways; you were obedient and tended to be quite naive, not really letting yourself think too much when it came to pleasure. You let that to your partner.

Well, you just happened to get caught in the middle of the two of them.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

"She went on a business trip and told me not to touch myself" She whined, laying on your bed like a starfish. "How am I supposed to be like this for two weeks?" She pouted while you had your back turned to her, putting on a big tshirt over your smaller frame, only panties beside the tshirt.

"Well, I think she probably trusts you enough to know you'll obey" You said, pulling two lollipops from your backpack and handing her one.

"I think she wants me to fail..." You smiled rolling your eyes, lollipop in your mouth. She sat down watching you suck on it while scrolling through tiktok, her eyes trailed on your pretty lips as it enveloped the candy.

First she felt her mouth water, this heat going down from her belly to her cock and making it stiffen. You mindlessly smiled at her, not realizing she didn't have some dull expression, but rather a predatory one. Her head slightly cocked to the side and that playful, naughty little smile forming on her pretty lips.

"She told me not to touch myself" nayeon said, sitting closer to you with her legs crossed.

"I think you told me that already" You kept your eyes on your phone, not really picking on what your friend was saying. She huffed, rolling her eyes and lowering your phone from your face.

"Would you please be a good friend and help me?" She pouted a little, smiling right after.

"W-what?" Your voice sounded strained. "What do you mean 'Help you'?" She bit her lower lip, stretching her body back to show you what exactly she was talking about.

Her cock had formed this huge imprint on her shorts, you could see it basically suffocating inside it. Of course you knew Nayeon had a dick, she liked bragging about how big it was but damn it... seeing it in real life was a whole new deal.

"Unnie..." You gulped, doe eyes staring up at her. "I don't think Jeongyeon will like that" She squeaked out a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes.

"But I am not breaking any rules!" Nayeon said, grabbing your hand and putting it over her clothed cock. "Do you think I can live like this for ten more days?" She shivered when you palmed it ever so lightly.

"I-think it's going to be very uhm..." You were going to say hard but that would not sound good. "D-Difficult" You felt your panties dampening, moving your hand with a bit more force and making her close her eyes.

"Just jerk me off, please" She said a bit out of breath, unbuttoning her shorts and pulling her hard cock out. It was leaking so much precum you wondered if she came already. "Let me use your hand sugar, please..." She moaned, forcing your hand to hold her cock; not really forcing, you just let her do it.

Her cock was big and warm and you felt yourself clench when she bucked her hips for the first time, biting back a moan. Nayeon closed her eyes, tossing her head back to open her pretty lips; you felt hypnotized, not knowing where to look at: her expression or her huge cock fucking your hand.

"feels t-too good" she slurred. "More, please" You didn't know what to do, nor what to say to her. You were conflicted, not really knowing what your next step should be. As she fucked your hand her eyes went back to that lollipop inside your mouth, pulling it out and tossing it out of the way of her tongue.

You two kissed, not really caring for teeth clashing or spit, very sloppy and wet, moaning against each others lips as she bucked her hips even harder against your hand.

"let me help you too" she said panting against your lips as her big hand found her way to your own panties, making you mewl. "lord, you are so wet" She moaned, rubbing your clit.

It was a beautiful, sinful sight. You jerking her off as she rubbed your clit, bucking your hips against her hand, nearly screaming against each others lips to try and satisfy that hunger you two had for each other's touch.

"please let me cum" You cried out, asking completely out of habit. Nayeon nodded, closing her eyes.

"gonna cum too-oh my fucking god" She fucked your hand harder, biting your lower lip as she spilled her hot seed on your hand and clothed tummy, your cum coating her fingers too as she kept rubbing your pussy up and down.

You two kept kissing, licking each other's faces in an obscene display of contentement. Your clit kept pulsing inside your panties as you brought your hand to your lips, licking off her cum and she did the same.

"I don't think it was enough..." She said, giving her furiously red cock a look. "Let me fuck you, please" She pushed you onto your mattress, already pushing your knees apart.

"unnie, we can't. Jeongyeon ..." you tried to say but she was out of her mind, already pulling your panties to the side.

"just the tip baby, please" She cried out, her cheeks pink and her lips completely puffy because of your little makeout session. You pushed her but she wouldn't move for anything. "I need you, please don't let me hanging like this" She pleaded.

"j-just the tip" you breathlessly agreed and she smiled, Nayeon loved getting everything her way.

She stared at your pussy for a moment and moaned loud and clear, spitting on her cock and jerking off a bit. You shivered, watching her eyes darken when her cock touched your warm pussy for the first time.

She tossed her head back as her fat tip already felt so good inside you. She scratched your thighs and you bit the back of your hand when she shallowly thrusted upwards, clenching on her throbbing dick. She lowered her body to kiss you and you two went back to the sloppiest makeout session ever as you scratched her back.

"let me put it all in baby" she cried out, her eyes closed.

You nodded your head no, not really understanding why. It just felt wrong doing all that but it felt so good.

Nayeon grabbed both your hands and pinned them to the sides of your head, easing her whole length inside. You both screamed, your kisses getting messier by the second, a mix of screams, spit and tears from both of you.

She pounded relentlessly inside of you, the wet sounds being muffled only by the two of you moaning, screaming each other's names. You couldn't tell which one was shaking harder and actually you didn't wanted to know, the only thing you wanted was to not stop.

"unnie I'm gonna cum" you screamed out, your vision blurred by the tears and the pleasure.

"me too, fuck fuck fuck" she said through gritted teeth, not stopping when she felt you squirting all over lower half, pounding harder and harder until her balls were empty and your pussy dripping her seed.

She kept humping, saying incoherent things against your neck as she suddenly took it off of you to lower her face to your cunt to eat you out, licking her cum and yours until you passed out due to the force of the first and second orgasm.

She was out of her mind, cleaning you until she drank all of your mixed juices, going up to spit them back into your mouth.

You two kept that for what felt like hours, making out until your jaw hurt. When you finally were able to breathe you realized how screwed she was.

"jeongyeon is gonna punish you so badly" you said, feeling her heavy cock resting against your thigh.

"No she won't, she told me not to touch myself" Her naughty tone was evident. "She never told me anything about getting help" She sighed, feeling your warm body with her hands.

"I don't know if that's fair..." Your obedient little mind couldn't keep up with her brattiness.

"Fair or not, pretty girl..." She kissed you again, humping your thigh. "Let's call it a loophole..."

[naughtyjjk]

pent up nanami kento

characters: nanami x fem reader warnings: 18+, smut, pretty much standard what you'd expect it's my first time posting! i might write more jjk smut in the future if people are interested :)

the long hours of overtime have been getting to nanami and your schedules have rarely lined up recently. it’s been weeks since the two of you have had quality time together. the dry period has been affecting nanami more than he’d like to admit and he can’t help getting distracted at work sometimes, thinking about you and all the things he wants to do to you once he gets the chance.

he’s never been like this before, thoughts flooded with dirty images of you. what if you showed up to his office and surprised him in a tight skirt and unbuttoned dress shirt, revealing your cleavage? in his current state, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to control himself. nanami would bend you over the nearest desk and bring his body close to yours. his hands reach around to hold your breasts, the erection between his legs pressed up right against your pussy.

in your ear, he growls, “are you trying to tempt me?”

“yes,” you whisper, melting under his touch. his fingers are rubbing at your nipples through your clothes, hips rocking gently against yours.

just the thought of it has nanami growing hard in his pants. he looks down to see the obvious bulge where his dick is straining against the fabric and he squeezes his legs together, trying his best to hide his arousal. he doesn’t know how he’s going to make it through the rest of the day at this rate.

it feels like hours before he finally gets home. he’s still just as turned on, and he hasn’t stopped thinking about you the whole time. and if you’re not there—well. he’ll just have to get himself off even if it means jerking off while fantasizing about you because he needs the relief. it’s become unbearable how horny he is.

but thankfully, you’re home today, too. as soon as nanami sees you in the kitchen, he pins you against the wall and kisses you. it takes you by surprise, but you’ll never complain about kissing the man you love. eventually, he starts to trail kisses down your neck, sucking at your collarbone, and you realize that he wants more. you notice the tent between his legs.

“you’re so pent up, aren’t you?”

nanami groans when you slide a hand down his chest, palming at his hard dick. his hips buck forward uncontrollably, wanting more of your touch. you can feel how big he is, and how badly he wants it.

“fuck,” he says. “let’s take this to the bedroom.”

your clothes are discarded and nanami throws you on the bed, climbing on top of you. he’s gorgeous—broad chest, well-toned abs, strong thighs. his cock is flushed and leaking, and his eyes are dark, filled with desire. he leans in to take one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it expertly.

the tip of his cock rubs against your entrance but he doesn’t push in yet. “you want this, too,” nanami whispers in your ear. “tell me you want it.”

the words make you shudder, and you squirm as he continues to tease you. “ah—please!”

“good girl.” seeing you under him and begging to be fucked, nanami can’t hold back anymore. he sinks into you, pushing into the tight heat of your pussy. both of you moan at the same time as the full length of his cock penetrates you, taking a moment to adjust.

then he begins to pull out, dragging his cock against your walls until only the tip remains inside. without warning, he snaps his hips forward, filling you up again. he thrusts into you over and over, searching for your sweet spot and aiming there every time once he finds it.

it’s mesmerizing to watch him make smooth rolls of his hips as he fucks you hard. his grunts and moans and the sounds turn you on even more. you almost scream when he picks up the pace, going much faster and deeper than before.

“that’s it, you’re taking my cock so well.” nanami’s voice is low and raspy. he’s panting hot breaths by your ear. “you feel so fucking good.”

he brings one hand to your clit and rubs circles, knowing that you’re extra sensitive there. you throw your head back, gasping and moaning, and you can’t think straight anymore. it’s overwhelming. your thighs are shaking, you’re getting really close—

“come,” nanami says. “come for me, baby.”

he pounds into you relentlessly and your mouth falls open, orgasm rushing through your body, back arching. you cry out his name as you come. nanami loves watching you fall apart and lose control, knowing that he’s the one who made you feel this much pleasure. he groans when you clench around him and he’s chasing his own climax now, hips stuttering as his cock pulses inside you.

he thrusts one more time and you feel a burst of warmth as he spills deep inside you. nanami comes in spurts, filling you up with his release. it’s nasty and sticky and feels so good that you miss him when he pulls out. he collapses on the bed, still holding you and giving you a kiss as you lie there together.

it’s not so bad to see his pent-up side sometimes.

[longhardtransitionreturns]

Twilight Sleep

Colonel Hutcherson's blonde bombshell wife has been making waves in our small town since the moment she got off the train in a bright red pin up dress with more creamy cleavage on display than our poor farm boys had ever seen. Her sea green eyes, red lips, and shapely hips on top of the longest set of gams in stilettos to ever set foot here immediately made her gossip fodder for the bar flies and the busy bodies.

They said she couldn't buy bras off the rack because her breasts were so big. That she sent all the way to New York for her stockings. That her hair was falling out because of all the peroxide she bought to keep her hair a brilliant platinum white.

Either she already had a baby growing in that flat belly of hers when she came to town or Colonel Hutcherson put one in her right quick because it wasn't long before Ashley Hutcherson’s already obscene titties were spilling out of her tops and her belly was growing straight out like a bullet. She wore her dresses so tight the whole town knew the very day her belly button popped from an innie to an outie.

I knew Ashley, of course, because I was her OBGYN. One thing I figured out quickly is there were no thoughts behind those pretty eyes. Ashley was so dumb she could barely string a sentence together and I had to explain to her how her baby was going to come out of her tiny little fuck hole. The look of horror on her face when she realized she was going to have to push a watermelon out from between her legs was priceless.

And that was without me telling her that she had an extremely narrow pelvis and Colonel Hutcherson made such large babies his last wife had labored for 3 days to squeeze a 14 pounder out. She could barely walk for weeks and she was a regular size farm girl.

Ashley was so relieved when I told her about the miracles of twilight sleep I almost popped in my pants right there. She was delighted she’d just go to sleep and wake up with a baby, none of the mess of having to push it out. 

When the time came, Colonel Hutcherson delivered her to my home surgery when her pains were regularly five minutes apart. She was so swollen by that point she was wearing nothing but a white silk robe trimmed with lace over her shoulders. Her pretty face was screwed up in discomfort when I opened the car door to help her out.

Her eyes lit up with relief when she saw me. 

“Oh, doctor, I’m so glad to see you. I’m ready to go to sleep now. I don't like how my tummy feels. It hurts!”

She clutched my arm with one hand and her massive, straining belly with the other as we walked inside. We bid goodbye to her husband at the door and I promised to call him. Her kissed her on the cheek and told her to mind the doctor. 

She shivered when I led her into the delivery room and she spotted the steel table in the middle of the room. Her eyes went immediately to the stirrups.

“We’ll put your legs up there to help the baby come, honey, but first we have to get you ready to go to sleep.”

I coaxed her out of her robe, taking a moment to admire her dark, swollen areolas and how the baby had settled low in her elongated belly. She was so big I had to help her up on to the table. She let out a grunt of discomfort as she lay back and the full weight of her overloaded womb and her massive milk laden tits settled on her small frame.

She was pliant as I strapped her legs into the stirrups but she gasped sharply when I ran my finger through her folds. 

“Let's get you ready, Ashley.”

I didn't bother to explain what I was doing or apologize for the cold temperature of the shaving cream as I spread it over her vulva. She had just a smattering of blonde curls but I ran my razor over them anyway just to have a clean work surface.

“That's a good girl,” I reassured as Ashely moaned through a contraction while I wiped the cream and hair away. She was a groaner but she was clearly trying not to writhe too much in the stirrups.

I let her recover from the contraction while I prepared the enema supplies. When I approached her with the tip of the tube and a bit of lube, I saw fear flash across her face for the first time.

“Where's that gonna go?”

I smiled reassuringly. “We need to clean out your insides to make room for the baby.”

I slipped it in quick, shushing Ashley's yelp of protest, and allowed the warm water to start flowing. She was dumb but quickly figured out what was happening when an urgent pressure started to build in her bowels.

“Ow, ow, my belly, it's too full already! It hurts!” She rubbed the underside of her aching orb, trying to twist to the side to alleviate the pain in her gurgling gut but stopped by the straps on her ankles in the stirrups. “I feel like I need to poop, why are you doing this? Ow!”

I pressed my palm against her pelvis, rubbing firmly. She cried out in protest.

“We wouldn't want you to poop on me or your baby's head, no would we, Ashley? I can't believe you're being such a bad girl. I'm sure the Colonel told you to do as the doctor says.”

Ashley looked betrayed now, scared, in indescribable pain, exposed on a table with no way to know what was coming next or to do anything to stop it.

As if to illustrate the point a contraction gripped Ashely's roiling abdomen and she screamed, full throated, as tears streamed down her face. The agony of contracting with a full bag of warm, salty water in her ass broke any last semblance of composure and Ashley started begging me to make the pain stop.

I secured the catch bag underneath her and prepared the drugs I would need to administer twilight sleep while Ashley screamed and pleaded her way through three more contractions. I realized quickly she would need extra restraints while under because she was tossing her aching body wildly, huge tits swinging. 

When I finally removed the plug the noise the laboring woman made was so erotic I got hard instantly. It was a groan of agonized relief followed immediately by a yelp of pain when yet another contraction closed around her middle. 

Ashley was spent, legs splayed limply, her bowels empty and her ass clenching. The baby had dropped so low by this point she was starting to feel him in her aching hips. She was unimaginably full and the ordeal of the enema had taken it out of her.  After the pain passed, she gathered her composure enough to look up at me beseechingly. 

“Put me out now, please. I don’t want to hurt this bad anymore.”

I had to adjust my rock hard cocktail before moving to her side to slip my special cocktail into her IV. I stroked her face as she started blinking and nodding her head from side to side. I watched as awareness left her eyes and her mouth dropped open with a weak groan.

“Ashley?” I tapped her cheeks, moving her jaw from side to side. Her green eyes stared up without recognition. I reached down and tweaked her engorged nipple and her lips opened to emit a moan of pain.

This was my crowning, pun intended, achievement. I'd perfected a scopolamine cocktail that turns the patient’s brain to mush but leaves her aware enough to feel and respond to the pain of labor in order to be a beautiful, brain dead birthing doll for my and my patron's pleasure.

I left Ashely lying on the bed, contracting now about every three minutes and really feeling it, measuring by her noises, to make a phone call. Then I put an oxygen cannula under her nose, cleaned her up between her legs, checked her dilation, and wrapped her wrists and ankles in towels so there wouldn't be any questions about bruises. 

When John Hutcherson arrived, he looked as eager to get the night started as I was. We'd met during the war when I served as the chief medical officer of his battlefield command. We found out one pregnant local girl later that we shared some frowned upon predilections and now, ten years and a lifetime of experience later, we partake of his wealth and my medical genius as often as we can without raising suspicions.

It's John's wife so, of course, he gets to go first and however he likes. He loses his pants quickly after he walks in and sees her strapped spread eagle, her arms straight out and tied to the table and her legs secured in stirrups. She's screaming through a contraction and oblivious to our presence.

John moves on her like an animal in heat, plunging his generous, throbbing member into her exposed, dilating cunt without any preamble. She shouts as she is brutally and unexpectedly skewered on his cock while a contraction is still ripping through her. He doesn't give her even a moment before he starts pistoning in and out of her so hard her back is slapping up and down on the steel table.

Her titties bounce lewdly, slapping from side to side atop her grotesquely swollen belly, as he rails her with all his strength. I finally go up and hold Ashley’s head to keep in from hitting the table due to the force of her husband’s pounding. Her leaking green eyes are filled with fear and pain but it’s also clear the struggling woman isn’t capable of understanding what’s happening to her. Her world has narrowed to the pain and fullness in her tits, hips, and cunt, and as far as she is concerned, it’s never ending. 

Hutcherson blows his first load when she has an especially hard contraction on his cock. He lets out a surprised gasp and then he’s jerking as he’s milked by his wife’s laboring uterus. Their cries blend in the air, one of utter pain and the other of blissful pleasure. 

When he’s finally able to pull out, his flagging cock plops loose with a squelching sound. His cum mixed with blood and amniotic fluid floods out of her and on to the cloth below. 

The brutal pounding leaves Ashley listless and moaning with a little bit of drool making its way down her chin. It’s part of the beauty of the drug that even though she’s blasted out of her mind, her body is going to push the baby out no matter what. 

Over the next several hours, we take turns playing with her engorged nipples, sucking them to induce contractions. John sticks his hand up her through a couple, shivering with arousal when she cries out and tries to get away from the intrusion. Eventually her agonized sounds change to desperate screeches as transition hits and the contractions become longer and unbearable. We each dip into her a few times while she endures the most painful part of labor and both barely keep from cumming when she clamps down on our dicks and wails. 

It takes her hours to get the baby down but it’s huge in her tiny pelvis and when it gets lodged in her hips, she starts vocalizing low, loud grunts as her body tries to expel the huge head. I almost blew my load too soon when I wedged my dick up against her massive stomach and rolled her hips side to side to help urge the huge load down. 

She screamed bloody murder when it finally crowned and John held it there for a good long while, stroking her engorged clit and easing the head out so she didn’t tear. The body was huge, however, and we had to put her legs as far back as we could to help her deliver the shoulders. Her cries of pain echoed off the walls as I roughly jerked the rest of the body out of her sore cunny. A huge flood of liquid shot out of her bloody slit and she was left with her pussy bared, gaped open and dripping birth fluid. 

I handed the baby off to my loyal nurse who maintained the nursery in the next room and turned back to my friend. He was hard a rock, stroking his wife’s ruined cunny. She was still visibly hurting, both from the sheer size of what just came out and the after birth contractions. 

I climbed on top of the beg, squatted over her deflated belly, and put my dick in between her massive tits. Behind me John let out an erotic groan as he sunk his massive length deep into his wife’s loose, bleeding pussy. It made a nasty squelching sound when he pulled all the way back out and slammed back in as hard as he could. He proceeded to brutally rail his wife’s post birth pussy and I came all over her tits while she flopped up and down on the bed, screaming from the pain. 

The next time I saw Lucy, she was back in her white silk robe, a 17lb baby suckling at her ample breast. She’d reapplied her lipstick but her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she’d been through hell. She woke up initially screaming about the pain in her pussy and she was still sitting awkwardly, an ice pack on her bruised and throbbing sex. 

That being said, she was thrilled she didn’t remember a single bit of it. She thanked me profusely and told her husband she wanted me to deliver all of her babies. Once her poor little cunny healed, of course. 

Josh and I shared a look over her head. We were already counting down to Ashley’s next labor and delivery. 

[velarisbynight]

Call Me By My Name

Rhysand x Feyre

For day 4 of @acotar-omegaverse-week — Getting Knotty: …you really didn’t think we’d have omegaverse week without a whole day for knots, did you :)

a/n: I was wary about writing for these two but I actually enjoyed their dynamic lot! Will definitely try to write more for them!

warnings: sexuality; smut; knots; overstimulation; oral (Feyre receiving) 

word count: 1.9k~

~~~~~~~~

“You’re insatiable,” Feyre huffs as her mate noses up the length of her throat, broad palms that have been long-since flecked with discoloured skin from scars and rubbed rough from callouses sliding from her waist, to her hips, to her legs. Fingers trail up the tops of her thighs, a shiver of pleasure zipping up Feyre’s spine when his thumbs hook around the narrow, black lace at her hips. 

“And you’re incredibly provocative,” Rhysand whispers, hot lips graze the shell of her ear, sharp canines nipping at the point before trailing down to lazily tug on the lobe. “You’re incredibly provokable,” Feyre counters, biting on her lower lip, tilting her hips so the curve of her ass is rubbing against the seam of his trousers. 

A hot, strained chuckle rumbles through her back and it doesn’t take much to imagine the wicked smirk on the High Lord’s mouth. How his pupils might be expanding, swallowing that beautiful ring of starlit violet. “I’m incredibly provokable?” The pads of his fingers graze across her abdomen, ticklishly raising a prickle of goosebumps in their wake. His mouth lowers to her jaw, pushing small, soft kisses to a spot he knows makes her weak. “I so much as look at you differently and you’re hauling me away into a spare room.” 

“Mhmm. Like I did just now, High Lord?” 

Rhysand’s groan morphs into a chuckle, silky blue-black hair brushing Feyre’s collar bones as he lays his brow to her shoulder, a smile on his mouth, “That, was an exception.” 

“I’m pretty sure you were the one doing the hauling there, or was that all my imagination?” 

“Was I supposed to leave you be after you lifted your top?” Rhysand drawls, his hand dipping further between her thighs, not yet slipping beneath her underwear but cupping her clothed sex, fingers poised to prod and push. “What sort of alpha would that make me if I left my darling omega unattended?” 

“Uh-huh, that’s the reason why you hauled me in here.” 

The High Lord pulls away, standing to his full height and turning his mate by her hips so they’re chest to chest. “Should I stop?” He whispers, a glint in his dark eyes. 

“Could you stop?” Feyre counters breathily, fingers raising to tip the black, lacy strap over the curve of her shoulder. The first one falls, and the second follows after. Violet eyes track each movement, his tongue wetting his lips, “I could do anything if you asked it of me.” 

“So charming, High Lord.” 

“So wicked, High Lady.” 

Feyre tilts her head upward, light brown hair tickling further down her spine and Rhys lowers his mouth to meet her, lips pressing together. A mixture of a moan and a hum warms the High Lord’s mouth as Feyre’s hands greedily rise over his chest, her fingertips teasingly tracing up the notch lapels of his finery before tangling in his raven locks of hair. Broad palms return to her hips and Feyre moves with him as he walks her back to their bed, the backs of her thighs brushing the rouge and gold jacquard patterned sheets. 

Rhysand is the first to pull away, his hold tightening around Feyre’s waist as he keeps his mouth within kissing distance. “I’m hungry, High Lady.” 

“You’re always hungry, High Lord.” 

“Call me by my name,” he whispers, breath tickling her mouth as shivers of tingling pleasure skitter through her abdomen. “Only if you call me by mine.” 

A low, strained chuckle drags from the back of his throat and the next thing Feyre knows is she’s being hoisted from the floor and carefully set back in the bed, the rouge and gold rayon fabric teasingly scraping against exposed skin. Her hair scatters across the sheets, framing her perfect features as cool, watercolour-blue eyes gaze up at her High Lord. Her alpha. Her mate. 

“Come here, Rhys.” The male in question doesn’t attempt to hide the effect her husky voice has on him, nor does he show even the slightest amount of embarrassment as his tongue flicks out over his lips and he palms himself through his trousers. “Shall I be on top of you, tonight?” He questions in a silky drawl, removing the clothing from his upper body seamlessly, a few swift movements and skilfully tailored fabric is discarded, “Or would you prefer to take the lead?” 

“And make your mate do all the work?” Feyre questions as she parts her thighs, legs curving at the knee to make room for him as he prowls forward. A wicked smirk appears on his soft mouth, “You love it.” 

“Then I’ll leave the choice up to you, since apparently I was the one who got you in to this state. Does that sound fair?” 

“You’ll let me decide what I do to you, Feyre?” 

Heat flutters between her legs, arousal infusing into the air, dampening the black lace covering her sex. “I’ll let you decide what you do to me,” she breathes, curving one leg around his hip, glancing with interest down to his mouth, “Rhys.” The High Lord releases a sound between a groan and a laugh, then he’s allowing the rough pads of his fingers to settle over her diaphragm, slowly, tenderly, coasting their way up her sternum, gliding between her breasts until they’re pausing over a fluttering pulse. 

“I’ll take my time then, shall I?” 

~~~~

Feyre’s spine arches from the mattress as the orgasm barrels through her sensitive body, those deft, cruelly skilled fingers continuing to curl and rub against that spot while his tongue flickers over her clit. 

His name has been repeating in her mouth for what must have been hours—there’s no way he could make her feel this good in anything less than that, even knowing how talented that silver-tipped tongue of his is. The flimsy black lace that had been covering her breasts has long-since been pushed away, though she’s still clasped within its confines. Just like with her underwear. Rhys had simply pushed it to the side, keeping her under that self-imposed containment she wishes he would simply tear right off. She wouldn’t even be mad if he did. 

What she is mad about, is the leisurely curl of his fingers, the idle strokes of his tongue as it caresses the tip of her puffy, aching clit. “Rhys…” She whines, hands gripping the sheets, the covers long-since tossed to the side. Violet eyes flick up from between her thighs and she tightens around his fingers as he emerges from where he had been applying himself, a silvery strand of arousal connecting from his lower lip to her cunt. “Hmm? I thought you wanted a break?” 

Feyre shoots him a glare before melting back into the bed. “You want the same thing I do,” she huffs, shifting her hips but it only causes his fingers to again push against that spot. “I do?” Rhys muses, lowering his head just enough to deliver a teasing lap to her clit. “And what is that?” Blue-grey eyes darken with hunger, turning the colour of stormy coastal skies. A dusky red colours her cheeks, the pink of her lips looking fuller than usual from teethmarks, “you know what.” 

“I want you to ask for it,” Rhys breathes, muscles flexing in his powerful shoulders as he lifts on to his arms, prowling up Feyre’s body until his lips are grazing the valley of her breasts. “Ask me to give it to you.” 

Feyre snorts. “You have a giving kink.” 

Fingers pluck at one of her nipples and she gasps. “Aren’t you lucky to have such a generous alpha as your mate?” 

“So generous,” Feyre fixes, a glint in her eyes as her fingers dance over the muscles in his broad shoulders. She lifts her smiling face from the pillows, just so their lips are brushing, “and so arrogant.” 

“It’s well-earned,” he protests, but Feyre doesn’t seem to bother with his reply, wrapping her legs around his hips. “I want your knot, Rhys.” 

The High Lord groans, shifting so each movement, every breath adds to the delicious pressure between them. “Ask me again.”

The High Lady rolls her eyes, a playful smirk on her lips, but adheres. “I want your knot. Will you give it to me?” 

“How could I ever refuse?” He murmurs causing Feyre to laugh, her blueish eyes twinkling as he presses one more kiss to her mouth. “Since you asked so nicely.” Another kiss. “I’m willing to indulge.” 

“How generous you are.” 

Rhys chuckles before righting himself, fingers skimming down the underside of Feyre’s thighs then looping beneath the black lace, “Lift up for me, Feyre.” The High Lady complies, happy to finally be shimmying free of the sopping underwear, legs parting to bear herself to her alpha. Rhys can’t help himself, running his middle and forth finger up through her centre, parting her until he reaches the tip of her swollen clit. How tempting it is to take her in his mouth again. But instead he wraps himself in his hand, guiding the tip to her entrance. 

Maybe he rubs his cock against her sex a few more times than he needs, just to work her up a bit more, bumping into her clit while precum leaks down his head. 

Feyre’s rosey lips part on a throaty moan as he pushes in, so easy for him to slide home by the amount of slick wetting her thighs and soaking the sheets below. “Greedy thing,” Rhys comments lowly when her legs squeeze his hips, making sure he’s flush with her cunt, “this is the fourth time this night you’re taking it.” 

“I’m not greedy.” Feyre tilts her hips, pushing the head of his cock to rub upward against her walls. “Is it greedy to want to have my mate inside of me?” 

Rhys drops a kiss to her lips, “not compared to your usual hunger.” 

“Your usual hunger.” 

“No? You don’t ever find yourself hungry for me, Feyre?”

Feyre huffs a laugh, her eyes twinkling. “Maybe sometimes.” 

“Only sometimes?” 

“Frequently.” 

Rhys smirks, drawing back his hips then pushing straight back in as if he can’t bear to be away from his omega for more than a second. Feyre’s moans grow incrementally in volume as the pace increases, already beginning to feel the skin at the base of him flaring, a sure sign he’s as hungry for her as she is for him. And with how much pleasure has already been raised to their surfaces it doesn’t take long for things to click into place. 

Legs wrap tight around the High Lord’s waist as they lock together, pleasure thrumming like something physical between them, smothering the air and turning their visions hazy. His knot presses against her inner walls, triggering pulses of pure ecstasy to sweep through both of them as the high is reached, a peak shared through the bond that joins them. 

Feyre’s back arcs, and Rhys allows his lips to press to the pulse point in her throat, feeling that heavy stutter beneath his mouth, taking a deep inhale of the scent that’s practically rolling from his divine mate in waves.

Gods, he doesn’t want her to ever come off his knot. 

What heaven it would be to have his darling Feyre wrapped around him, laying with him, holding him for as long as they could last. 

[a1307s]

Quitting

(Roy Harper)

[Art is not mine! Credit to Denise Zhang]

Requested by: Myself

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 3,439

Warnings and/or Pre-notes:

Cursing

Mentions of Oral (male receiving)

Sexual Tension

Smoking

Mentions of death

FIA: Fallen in Action

———————————————————————

"Arsenal - B4, Superboy - B5, Robin - B16,  Beastboy - B12," The mountain calls out as some of the other members, and I walk through the entrance.

Laughter comes from the living room as Y/N bolts out of it and heads towards me. I'm sure she's thrilled I'm back. I'm thrilled I'm back. We haven't had any time together all week. If we aren't on missions, then I had shit to do for Oliver dealing with Queen Enterprises.

"Roy!" Y/N chirps, her body slamming into mine from the lack of a slowdown she gives herself.

My arms drop around her, worried she'll flop onto the ground from the impact. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You need to be careful," I bark at her, straightening her up some.

Y/N's eyes flicker for a second before her normal spark is back. I'm not very good at being... publicly affectionate. Because of this, sometimes my words and actions come out harsher than I mean. As long as we get enough alone time throughout the day, she doesn't mind. Y/N says she sees it as her 'giving me slices of affection throughout the day whereas I give her the whole cake at once'. I don't fucking know what that means but hey, happy - future - wife, happy life.

"I'm sorry for yelling," I mutter, releasing my hold on her a bit, but not totally. One of my hands drops down to her wrist so I can use it to tug her into my room at the mountain.

Y/N pitter-patters behind me, rambling on about what book she ordered today. I make a mental note of the title, I need to power-read it tomorrow, so I know what she's talking about when she starts reading it herself. "And guess what?" She cheers, wiggling her wrist as we walk through the living room.

I loosen my grip on her some and make sure to be gentle as I lead her around a corner. "You're going to give me head?"

"I can if you'd like, but no that's not what you're supposed to be guessing," Y/N answers after a beat of silence.

I stop in my tracks, causing Y/N to bump into my back. My hand shifts around her wrist as I turn to face her. "I've barely seen you all week, I don't want sex," that's a lie. "Well, I do want sex," I correct myself, "but there are more important things right now. What am I supposed to be guessing?"

Her eyes lighten up as she tilts her head to look at me. "You're supposed to be guessing the ending of my last book," she spills out, pretty much jumping in place. Y/N is adorable when she talks about her books. My own personal Princess Bell.

"They all died," I answer, turning back around and continuing to lead the way to my room. The book actually ends with the art teacher finding out his student is the daughter of his dead girlfriend, and the twins start healing their relationship.

"No! Though that would be quite the twist," Y/N says before she starts another ramble, this time about the ending of her most recent book. I listen to her talk as I work on opening my bedroom door. "I loved it!" She says, as I usher her into the room and close the door behind us.

"I'm glad you did, Gorgeous" I mutter, dropping my hands down to her thighs to lift her. I place her on my torso, her hands automatically sliding into my hair. Y/N's legs are usually wrapped around my back, but my bow and quiver are taking up that space, so her legs are dangled at my sides. Y/N always teases me about placing her on my torso instead of my waist. She says I do it because I like looking up at her. She's not wrong but I'm not going to let her know that.

"How was your mission?" Y/N asks, messing with the ends of my hair.

"Tiring and straining, but nothing too difficult," I answer her, carrying her toward the bathroom. "You should take a bath with me," I half ask, half order. It's not much of a secret that I'm very much the dominating member of our relationship. Despite that, I definitely serve Y/N a hell of a lot more than she serves me. Jason always teases me about it, poking fun that I'm whipped. He's not wrong but that's another truth that doesn't need to be admitted.

"Okay," Y/N hums, rubbing her cheek against my hair.

"That's not a yes," I remark, gently placing Y/N onto her feet once we're in the bathroom.

"Yes, Roy, I'll take a bath with you." Once the 'yes' is out of her mouth, I start tugging her clothes off. Her shirt is up and over her head before she finishes her sentence. I wasn't lying when I said there's more important things than fucking her right now. We need some quality time, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy what's mine.

My lips attach to her shoulder as I work on pulling her pants off of her. I litter her exposed skin with soft kisses, following each one with an 'I missed you', 'I love you,' or a 'you're perfect'.

Y/N answers each one back, echoing my 'I missed you's and 'I love you's. Her own hands work on stripping me but she's a little behind from having to pull my bow off of me and from struggling to unbuckle my quiver. I find it cute how flustered she's getting with the buckle.

Once her pants are off, I pull back from her. I want - need - this to be sweet, not sexual. I've missed her too much to eat up our free time with sex right now. I help her with the buckle and let her tug my gloves and shirt off. Y/N's lips are attached to me, working their way over my collarbones and biceps as I make sure to set my weapons down somewhere safe. The last thing I need is a broken bow to add to the shit that has been eating up our time together.

"Calm down a bit," I voice once Y/N starts down my chest. "We're just taking a bath."

"Just a bath?" She echoes as I gently pull her off of me and hum in agreement. Y/N is detached long enough for me to walk towards the shower. She happily attaches to me, this time pressing soft kisses into my back with her arms wrapped around me. I let her litter me in kisses as I start filling the bathtub. I'm sure she's missed me as much as I missed her, so this attention isn't going to slow down anytime soon. Honestly, she's been a lot more clingy than usual.

When the bath is ready, I finish stripping Y/N, taking my time to look over her. She happily puts herself on display, pushing her boobs up and pouting, making me second guess whether I want to keep this sweet or not. "Little tease," I murmur, picking her up before plopping her into the bubbles. "I don't want to wash my hair so I'm going to put it up. Do you want your hair up too?"

"Yes please," Y/N utters, sinking herself into the water.

I make quick work once I step out of the bathroom, tucking my supplies away, pulling the rest of my clothes off, and tying my hair up. I stand over the bathtub, watching as Y/N licks her lips as she glances between my face and my dick. This is a sweet, gentle, loving bath. Nothing more. I collect her hair in my hands, getting a teasing mewl from her as she temps me. "You know, the more desperate you act, the longer you're going to wait," I husk out, pulling her hair through an elastic to make a cute messy bun on top of her head.

Y/N whines, slumping more in the tub. "It was worth a shot," she mumbles, blowing at some of the bubbles.

"You will get what you want later, I promise. I just want to soak the strain out of my muscles and spend some time with you," I tell her, stepping into the tub before sitting in the water with her.

Y/N hums in agreement, sliding backward so her spine is pressed against my chest. I gently wrap my arms around her stomach, sinking into the tub to soak more of my arms and back. I go back to littering her with sweet nothings and kisses, letting all the longing for her wash away as I hold her. My girlfriend's head tips back, resting it against my shoulder. I take the chance to shift my focus from her shoulders to her face. Occasionally I turn my kisses to her lips, making sure to only take quick pecks. I'd feel like an asshole if I told her 'Not right now' and then tease her with a make-out session.

Her lips are bruised under mine from her constant biting and picking at them. It's a nervous tick of hers that I'm not happy about. "You should stop picking your lips," I murmur against her cheek before dragging kisses down to her jaw.

"You should stop smoking," Y/N shoots back, turning her head so our noses bump.

I sigh gently, tilting my head some before I brush our lips together again. I try to pull away, only leaving her another short kiss, but Y/N lifts her hand to my neck, keeping me in place. A small make-out session won't hurt. I give her what she wants, letting our lips dance against each other for a while. "I'll think about it," I whisper against her skin, placing sloppy kisses along her jaw. Maybe just one more make-out session.

"Roy," Y/N says, her tone warning. "You're smoking affects your health a lot worse than my habit does."

"I'll think about it," I repeat, my kisses still clumsy as they dip down to her neck.

I tilt my head back up to her face, connecting lips for the hundredth time. Once again, our kisses get heated, and I slide my tongue out, begging for access to her mouth before I can stop myself. "Harp," she warns again, her tone firmer. "At least stop smoking menthols. They're terrible for you."

"They're all terrible for me. Menthols are just the worst of two evils." That does not help my case. Y/N's face shifts to annoyance, her lips pressed together, denying me kisses let alone access to her mouth. "I'll quit," I say, trying to slither my tongue into her mouth again. Y/N lets out a soft sigh, slightly parting her lips so I can get what I want as a reward. Her mouth is warm and wet, and this is not going to be a sweet bath for much longer if we keep at this pace. I pull back from her, relaxing into the water again as I rub Y/N's stomach. There is plenty of time for sex later.

———————————

Why did I agree to quit smoking? This fucking withdrawal is killing me and it doesn't help that after our bath earlier, Jay called to say he was crashing at the mountain for a while. Jason smokes too so we usually take our 'smoke breaks' together. I've tried distracting myself by focusing on the conversation Y/N has been having with Tim but it's just pissing me off.

"I do not!" Y/N whines, pulling my attention to her again. I don't like her whining. Not because I find it annoying; I like her whining with need when she's under me. It's hot, sexy, literally the sound I live to hear. On the other hand, I don't like her whining because she's unhappy. It irritates me. It's my job to keep her happy and cared for which is hard to do right now because the current Robin won't stop messing with her.

"You totally do!" Tim bites back. "You are so love-struck when it comes to Roy, and he couldn't care less. You follow him around like a lost puppy and act like you'd fall over without him. If-"

"Listen here you little shit," I bark at the younger boy, lounging forward and grabbing at him. "Stop fucking with Y/N." I shove the boy some to get my point across once I'm done threatening him. His mask is a bit wider in shock or fear as he stumbles back.

"Roy!" Jason's voice calls out from behind me. "Maybe let's not bruise up Mini-Bat. Someone is a little upset today, ya?"

Great, the only thing that can make my withdrawal and irritation worse is here. Jason finds it funny to gently flirt with Y/N to piss me off and make me jealous. He says it's 'good for me to show the public I care about Y/N on occasion' and 'to remind me that she's important to me'. I think he just likes finally having something to poke at me with.

"I'm not upset."

"Mmkay," Jay hums, coming up to lean on the back of the couch. His arms are propped up next to me. "Y/N," he purrs out, his attention on me as he pokes at me. "Want a smoke?" He prompts, popping his pack open and tilting it towards Y/N.

"I don't smoke, you know that Jay," Y/N answers, getting up from her spot on the floor and plopping herself next to me. Jay's hands dangle by her for a second before he pulls them away. Small things like this are why I know Jason's flirting isn't serious.

Jason rolls his eyes before turning his attention towards me. "You coming outside with me?"

"No."

"No?" He asks, stopping in his path out of the room and turning back to look at me.

"I'm quitting," I mumble, shoving my hands into my pockets. I should have just said yes and taken the lecture from Y/N.

A couple of members in the room laugh at this. "You? Quitting? You've been smoking since you were fifteen," Dick says, trying to stop himself from chuckling.

I shrug before glancing at Y/N. She's beaming in pride as she looks at me. Maybe quitting won't be that bad. "I know, but Y/N asked me to quit so I'm going too."

"More power to ya," Jay says, a smile on his face as he walks out of the room.

"Wait, wait, wait," Tim says, waving his arms around. "Oliver has been begging you for years to quit and you don't. Y/N asks once and you're done, just like that?"

"Just like that," I murmur, leaning my head back before glancing at my girlfriend again. She's pretty much bouncing in her spot. I shift a bit, opening up my lap to her. Instantly Y/N is in my lap, her legs tangled with mine and her arms around my neck as she litters my face with kisses.

"Chill," I say, gently pushing Y/N's head away from me. I don't mind her public affection - even if I don't like doing it back - but I'm pissy right now. I'm pissed at Tim, pissed at the lack of nicotine, pissed at the world, and Y/N's affection isn't counteracting that like usual.

"I'm sorry," Y/N whines, pulling a sigh out of me.

"It's fine. Just... relax." She does as told, curling up in my lap and turning her attention towards whatever conversation is going on.

———————————

I do not feel very proud of myself at the moment. If anything, I feel ashamed, which is weird since it's a feeling I don't have often. I've done plenty of shit most people would feel ashamed of. I've killed people before. I have a strained relationship with almost everyone in my life. I've been an addict. I've signed over custody of my daughter to Diana and opted for paying her child support because I can't emotionally support a kid. I don't feel shame for any one of those things.

Yet, here I am, feeling like the biggest lair in the world as I stand outside for a smoke with Jason. I feel even more ashamed as Y/N calls my name.

"The center of your life is calling," Jay says, following it with a chuckle.

"She's not the center of my life."

"Ya, okay," he says sarcastically before lighting another cigarette. I roll my eyes and take a final drag from my own before snuffing it out on the bottom of my boot.

"Harp!" Y/N calls again, stomping her way toward us. Her hands are balled up on her hips as she stands in front of us, a glare pointed at me. "You promised you were quitting."

"I am quitting," I answer back, tossing the dead butt into the bucket full of them that's kept outside the back door. Other than me no one else in the mountain is a consistent smoker.

Though Dick and Artemis smoke when they're drunk, and Barbra will buy a pack when she can't handle her stress any longer. I'm also pretty sure Bart has been stealing a few from my packs but I haven't caught him yet. If that's the case I guess we're both quitting now.

"Doesn't look like it," Y/N snaps back, anger washing off her face. "I'm disappointed in you, Roy. You were doing so good."

Well, that stings. I'd prefer her to be mad. "It's one cigarette. Usually, by this time of day, I'm on my eighth. I am quitting," I mumble, glancing away from her face. I don't like seeing her upset in general and really hate seeing her upset with me.

My gaze lands on Jason who has a smug ass look on his face. I want to beat the smug out of the little shit but when we do spar it usually ends in a tie.

"That's not quitting, that's slowing down," Y/N points out, moving closer to me. Her body is pressed against mine, arms around me and her chin resting on my chest. "I don't want to lose you."

"I know," I murmur, glancing down at her before kissing the top of her head. "I'm working on it, I swear." Y/N hums, tilting her head down to kiss the spot her chin was resting in before letting go of me.

I watch her walk back into the mountain. Once the door is shut behind her, Jason burst into laughter. "I know," he teases, pitching his voice higher as he says it. "What a fucking sapling you've turned into."

"Shut up. You're just pissed you don't have a bitch like mine," I snap back, rolling the word 'bitch' around my head. I shouldn't call Y/N a bitch. I'll have to work on that.

"A bit, ya," Jay says, his smirk still present as he looks at me. "The only couple that's even close to competing against your 'ride or die' dynamic is..." He cuts himself off, falling silent.  Jay takes another long, slow drag before he continues. "Was Wally and Artemis."

Wally has been labeled FIA since a couple of weeks ago and no one is handling it very well. Of course, Artemis is handling it the worst. She watched her soulmate die; anyone would be losing their shit if that happened.

I don't know what I'd do if Y/N died. Go bat-shit crazy again. Probably just cease being a functioning person. Hundred percent relapse, that's for sure.

Watching how broken Artemis is has probably been a big part of Y/N's sudden issue with me smoking. She never cared much before. Since everything happened, she's been a lot more clingy, and more aware of my bad habits. She pretty much burst into tears the other day when I told her I felt dehydrated.

"I really need to quit," I tell Jay, leaning my head back to try and reset my thoughts.

"Ya, probably. Y/N looked like she was going to have a panic attack when she walked outside and saw you smoking," he mumbles, tossing his cigarette butt into the bucket.

"I think she's freaking out about Wally's death."

"We're all freaking out about Wally's death. Shit happens," Jay mumbles, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Y/N's just freaking out that you'll be next. She's got a point though. It's harder to run and shit if your lungs are coated in ash."

The shit I do for this girl. The shit this girl does for me. I shake my head a bit at the thought. Quitting is the least I can do if it helps rest her mind.

[alchemistc]

i wanna start out by saying ive been patiently waiting for a hockey AU on the bucktommy fandom and your Goon fic is everything i have ever wanted, im honestly obsessed with your characterization of tommy

i have never been that big on rpf in the hockey fandom, but i always love reading people write crosby in their hockey aus, also love how you include Hockey Lore TM in the story

so, i wanted your take on the insane 'tradition' (not really tradition, more of a common occurrence) of players playing through injuries specially in the playoffs (I remember that in the 2016 or 2017 cup run, there was more players currently injured on the penguins than not, pretty sure Letang or Daley had like, broken fingers for most of the last round) and how many times Buck had to run away from Hen so he could play, because if anyone is more likely to play through injuries, i'd say is Evan "i-had-another-surgery-instead-of-waiting-for-my-leg-crush-injury-to-heal-naturally" Buckley, or Evan "I-sued-my-job-because-they-wouldnt-let-me-do-said-job-after-said-leg-crush-injury-and-vomitting-blood" Buckley

Thank you thank you! Goon has been so much fun to craft, and I'm loving seeing the hockey fans and the 'what's a chiclet' 9-1-1 fans alike enjoy it!

Personally? I hate it. I think the whole idea of it is fucking insane and detrimental to not only their physical health but their mental health as well. (From the Avs fan perspective, regardless of what we actually know about the Nichushkin situation, the man broke his foot and played through it, likely got addicted to a painkiller in the recovery process, missed a playoff series because of [redacted], had a career fucking year and then sent himself to the Players Assistance Program, came back, had MORE career highlights, and then...failed a drug test in the run up to the playoffs and got himself suspended.

(Another reason players just play through injury and mental health crisis is the Players Assistance Program, which IS ANOTHER MAJOR FAILING OF HOCKEY CULTURE IN GENERAL)

Hell, Landy played through a not-healed-injury after he took Cale's skate to his knee and now he's had two surgeries and may never make another appearance in a game because of it.

(I can't think of the player at the moment, but I remember a cup run where a player was playing with fractured ribs and it was later revealed that if he'd taken a puck or a nasty hit or gone into the boards wrong there was a chance he'd have had a vital organ punctured and likely wouldn't have known the extent of the damage until he'd collapsed from internal bleeding. It didn't happen, but WHAT THE FUCK)

And fans have a tendency to glorify them as gods for 'fighting through the pain' in their quest for the Cup.

As far as Goon goes:

They're all gonna be playing through injury. SInce this is from Tommy's perspective, he's coming at it from two angles - he's the guy who's played through injury his whole career just to keep a spot in the lineup, he's toughed it out and dealt with the numbing agents and the wraps and the twinge that doesn't go away for weeks at a time (and the aforementioned pain killers that eventually prompted him to go to fucking therapy in the first place). He is also the guy who has spent four years unpacking why exactly he did that - how much of it is the culture, how much of it is his own shit and his dad telling him to rub some dirt in it and stop being a pussy, how much of it has just been to prove himself capable of being one of the guys in the room.

There's also Hen, who pushes harder than the other trainers, and calls out the bullshit when she sees it, so yeah, this team probably has a slightly better track record of keeping the guy out with upper body injury out of the lineup for longer than any other team would, but - Buck's not the only one who's learned how to lie about exactly how much pain he's in and how well his recovery is going. He'll strain shit and refuse to admit it, he'll push through on a 'minor' injury unless he thinks playing on it would threaten his career. (He absolutely has NO real concept of how bad an injury actually is, tbh, because like everyone else he's been lying about it for so long he doesn't have an accurate pain scale.)

The tldr of this is that I don't condone it, but the reality is it's so ingrained in kids coming up that it's a reality of the culture and I'm not necessarily gonna shy away from that. It's not a huge focus of the story, but there will be hints here and there.

[noffy96]

Okay. I haven't seen a lot of people talk about it yet. Because I have a feeling a lot of people are dropping of tsams because of what happened in the last arc.

But I really wanna talk about old moon for a second. Because I've been really liking these past few episodes.

But first. I must say i am pretty bummed that I am getting this after how nexus/new moon had been handled. I think it could have been done way better. And I am not surprised it left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth. No matter how you look at it.

But I am not gonna hold that against what old moons character (for now)

While I would have liked a bit MORE out of a reaction from sun. I am kinda glad they are taking this more calm/detached approach.

It feels like we get a bit of calm after weeks of angst and stress that was surely needed. Also it gives old moon a few times to act on trying to do better in small ways and succeed. Before getting to get put in front of a BIG desission again. And seeing if he will fuck up big time. Small time or not at all.

Personally I would like it if he fell back, but not all the way. But we'll see how it goes.

In absolutely LOVE how awkward he was with earth

Just you could feel it dripping of every second of that conversation. And just the fact that we learned through this that he can't cook was hilarious

. And how he interacted with dazzel as well.

Just being fascinated by her. And just...at the end that sentiment of "I don't know what you are. But I want to help you find out"

I dunno it felt very sweet.

Him getting drunk with Monty was fun. Glad to see them still being friends and have a person he is not so stilled with. (Also hope sun gets to find out and tease him for it. )

And then there is how he is interacting with sun. Sun still seems distant. Sun is seemingly just trying to go through the motions and getting him up to speed. But emotionally not fully checked in.

So far, sun hasn't called moon brother again....at least I don't think so? Just moon. And I think it kinda shows that despite sun being friendly and willing to at least mend things. He ain't there yet.

But old moon seems to be trying, and legit trying. He still runs his mouth and seems to notice when he might even on accident be putting sun down. So much so he might be a bit... overcorrecting with the ' I don't mean you by that' type comments.

And he is involving sun. Telling him about the new lap. Showing him. Giving him the option to get his magic back About what he plans to do for dazzel. Not hiding that he is doing something for Monty. Wanting sun along to look for the thing ruin made.

And him talking to sun about KC and earth misconception despite saying initiallu that telling him might not be the best idea.

(also just most of the lab episode was really nice. Conversations still feeling strained...yet reaching over the smaller. Easier to talk about gaps. When the big ones feel so big)

I just.

It feels to me. That he is LEGIT trying. And while I dont love how we got to this situation. I do like these moments. They feel good.

I am excited to see more of that develop. I am still hesitant on als the stuff that is gonna have to come to pass with nexus/new moon and dark sun.

But right now i am liking this. And wanted to ramble positively about the show for a bit.

This show makes me feel crazy with how contradictory it can make me feel on certain espacts of it.

While sorry for the long rambly post.

Just needed to get it out of my system sorry about any spelling mistakes. I blame my phone. My autocorrect and the late hour.

Okay...bye

Edit.

Also just the whole family doing d and d was fun. And I wanna see more (and as i saw some people say. There is still a spot on that table for solar to join. And yes. Leg him join family game night)

[egipci]

Dad fucked him, right there in the back seat. He pushed Dean to his back on the vinyl and folded his knees up to his chest and pushed in and worked him open on good deep strokes and felt when Dean couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing he could control, his whole body winding up, his thighs, his toes curling and inside it was like light filled him up, light or whatever it was, whatever Dad did to him, it flared behind his eyelids, it warmed him and filled him up, swelled in his gut and flooded his chest, it flooded his heart, filled him to his fingertips and spilled over and out of him on a long mindless groan and it kept going, whenever he thought it would stop it kept going and pushed everything else with it so there was nothing left but it wasn’t the first time and Dad knew him now and knew to shove in deeper, to keep going no matter the sounds Dean made, his fingers tight around Dean’s forearms and Dean’s arms crossed over his chest and Dad’s weight and his smell and his low grunting so there was nothing to do but take it.

He kept his eyes closed, afterwards. When Dad kissed at his jaw and when he pulled out he kept them closed and planted his feet down on the seat and he only looked when he felt Dad’s hand tugging on his knee, spreading his thighs apart again. A brown take-out napkin in Dad’s hand. He wiped at Dean’s belly, his dick and his balls and lower, at the vulnerable insides of his thighs, eyebrows knotted together, careful now. It made Dean’s chest hurt. All of him hurt. The back of his head where it had bumped against the ceiling ached and his back and his hips and there was that raw sawed-open feeling between his legs but the hurt in his chest was all Dad’s careful hands and the look on his face. Difficult to make out much else in the street light, tucked away at the far corner of the lot. Still Dean could hear the laughter and the heavy slam of the bar doors. He sat up, butt naked on the seat, put his feet down. Next to him Dad sat with his head craned back and his belt undone and his jeans still unbuttoned and unzipped and his dick tucked away in his shorts and Dean wanted to feel it again in his hand. He wanted to reach inside and pull it out, to lean down and smile at it and smell it, to watch it get hard for him, to press his cheek there.

He folded his arm in front of him on top of the bench and buried his face there. Dad said here you go and handed him his boxers and touched his hip and opened the door and got out of the car. He opened the trunk then slammed it shut and that shook the whole car and he walked away and was gone a while. When he opened the door that let in some fresh air, which made obvious how cloying the smell inside. Thick sex smell. Dad was taking a piss, probably. Probably Dean should be putting on his boxers and his pants and getting ready so when Dad came back in he could ask some serious questions like what do you want me to do here or what should I do with my hands or if I touched your knee first will you freak out again or if you change your mind will you let me know or to apologize at least for last week, but already he was replaying the feel of Dad’s mouth on his chest. He’d taken his time, kissed on Dean slow. Dad’s teeth at his nipples and the rasp of his beard and and the way he nosed at Dean’s pits had him shaking pretty bad and sweating. His thighs and his whole body straining and he couldn’t keep a rhythm for how good it felt to have Dad inside him. It made him dizzy, Dad’s huge hands feeling up his back the only thing holding him up. All his power had gone out of him except where his fingers clenched at Dad’s shoulders.

Heat crackled inside him again. It was like reliving it, to be thinking about it, this time and all the times before it blurring together. Always in the car, the first time and the second in the dark with blood under their fingernails but it had become easy one-person jobs or interviews Dean had no business being at or voodoo shop stops or ammo runs and Dad’s hand on his shoulder or on the back of his neck always, always taking the long way home. Off the road he’d smile and he’d pull Dean in and ruck his shirt up just to get a look at him before the sun set. Dad liked watching him. He liked looking at Dean and Dean knew it. Whole days Dad wouldn’t look at him but then he did his looking all at once. 

It had gotten away from them and it had gotten bad and Dean had taken it with him. He hadn’t meant to. All summer he’d walked around shirtless. The sun burned and stretched the skin taut over his bones. In the shower under the water he took his dick in his hand and thought about Dad coming back home and opening the bathroom door and finding him there and leaning his hip against the counter to watch. He kept a tube of KY under his pillow, but it was only ever here that Dad let himself look. 

The whole of it, it had gotten away from him. He thought he had a lid on it but he slipped up. A week ago, almost, he’d stood making coffee and Dad stood next to him at the sink to rinse a mug and Dean had reached his hand in. He’d gotten so close to Dad he could feel his heat. He’d touched his shoulder to Dad’s shoulder and his hand to Dad’s hand and he’d pulled the mug out of it and said I got you and he’d looked at Dad’s mouth and closed his eyes and titled his chin up. When he opened his eyes Dad was looking away. He was looking down. He said I’m going out to Minnesota. He said You stay put. Take care of your brother. Dean had stayed put. He’d waited. He tried not to think of all the things Dad made him want. 

He wanted to tell Dad how good he’d been. 

He pulled his jeans on but not his shirt. He rolled the window down and saw Dad coming back. He’d walked off a long way away. He seemed skinny kind of without one of his big jackets on, narrow-shouldered. He made his way over and bent down so he could look at Dean through the window and put his hand to Dean’s shoulder, to the back of his neck. He said, How you doing? You good to drive? Dean nodded. He didn’t know what Dad could be talking about.

When they reached the little townhouse they were staying he turned the car off and they sat there for a minute. A little decorative lamp by the door lit up the driveway. Dad said, It’s coming in good. And Dean turned to him and said, What? 

Dad reached over and scratched his fingernails through the scruff on Dean’s cheek, along his jaw. Dean grinned and turned away. Dad said, low, What time is Sam’s thing over?

Sunday afternoon, Dean said. Like, at three. 

Tomorrow we go up to Lafayette. Car guy Caleb knows.

Dean said, What’s wrong with the car?

Nothing’s wrong with the car. You need your own car.

Dean shook his head. Dad was leaning his head back now, not even looking at him, like he was talking to the ceiling, but even then Dean kept shaking his head because he didn’t need his own car. He didn’t want a car. What he wanted was to sit in the passenger seat next to his dad forever, in this car, and to know he was safe and Sam was safe with them in the backseat because as long as they had the car and the three of them were inside and Dad was driving nothing could get them, they could outrun anything, the whole world, all the things out there. It was only ever with Dad behind the wheel that Dean could lean back and close his eyes and fall into deep and dreamless sleep, no matter their destination and no matter what waited for them when they got there, impenetrable metal all around him black as night, always the safest place on this earth. When Dad came back earlier he’d smiled at Dean and all along he had this planned. Cruel and unusual, even for him. 

He said, Dad, I don’t need a new car.

Dad said, I’ll take the new car. You keep this.

What do I need a car for?

For when I’m gone, Dad said.

To do what?

To get around. Take a job.

I don’t know how to drive. 

Dad laughed at that. He looked at Dean and said, I’ll tell you where to go. I’ll drive and you just gotta follow.

But what if I lose you? Dean said. What if you’re driving real fast and I lose sight of you and I don’t know where I’m going? What if I’m trying to catch up to you and it’s late and I’m tired and it’s dark or foggy and I can’t see anything and I crash?

You won’t, Dad said.

But if I did?

[veroniquesboutique]

Kinktober Day 10 - Praise Kink/Sex Toys

For Kinktober day 10!

Suguru Geto x AFAB!Reader

Content warnings: AFAB!Reader, female reader, praise kink, overstimulation, power dynamics boss/assistant relationship, unprotected, creampie, sex toys

18+ Minors DNI!

More (explicit) under the cut!

“Yes, sweetheart, good job, there you go, I want to see you take it all for me. Can you do that? Can you take it all for me, darling?” Suguru Geto’s voice is melodic against the harsh pants and whimpers that are spilling from your lips as he presses the toy even deeper into you, causing you to flinch a little at the near painful stretch that is ripping through your insides. You have never felt this full in your life, and it is eye-rolling, toe-curling, cervix-breaking pleasure to feel like there’s no more room.

“So pretty, so pretty, so pretty,” Geto is murmuring, dragging a light finger down the inside of your thigh as you quiver with pain and anticipation. 

Your appointments with Geto were scheduled weekly and had been since you started working for him. Every other time, you’re his assistant, and you’re probably getting something wrong. He’s yelling at you, demanding things from you, occasionally threatening your life and calling you ‘replaceable’. Then, the same time hits on the clock every week - 9:20pm on Tuesday - and he welcomes you into his home, slides the jacket or the shoes off of your body, and treats you better than the curses he actually likes. It’s strange, in a way, the fact that he hates humans so, so much, and yet, with you, in these moments, he is the kindest, sweetest man you’ve ever been with. It’s emotional whiplash at it’s finest.

The first time this happened, to be honest, you weren’t super sold on the whole thing. It wasn’t mentioned in the interview as part of the job description, and you usually reserved this thing for long term relationships and people you actually liked to be around. But then one thing led to another, you didn’t know how to politely refuse the drinks he was offering, and suddenly you were cumming around his cock harder and faster than you had with anyone previous to him. Now, this many months - almost years in - you consider it more of an unusual job perk than a duty you have to complete.

You flinch again, your abdominal muscles tightening involuntarily, as he pushes just a little bit further to bottom out the toy. You can feel it pressing against your cervix, playing with the muscle there, attempting to break through despite your tense stance. Geto tuts his tongue against his teeth and presses a hand to your shoulder, rubbing the bare skin there with gentle circles to relax you against the pressure and strain of his dildo. 

“Oh sweetheart, you know I just love the way you look all full like this. It makes my mouth water when I think about what I’m going to get to do to you soon,” He licks his lips to punctuate his point, and as you moan at the image, you relax a little more into the moment, spreading your legs as wide as they’ll go to accommodate more for him.

Continued on AO3...

[teddy-bear-baby]

Their Deadly Flower - Eleven

(A/n: Finally got some time and energy to put into my writing again. Enjoy, my Lovelies!!)

Pairings: Ghost X GN!Reader, König X GN!Reader

Warnings: NSFW (MDNI!!), highly sexual(Minors and those uncomfortable please skip to the first time jump marked by "~~~~~"), slight angst

Prolog - One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten - Here - Twelve

     You’re not sure how things got out of hand so quickly, but there’s no stopping it now. Not that you wanted to stop it, you’d been thinking about this for so long. You yearned for this moment, lusted for it for weeks on end, and now you were finally here. Your head thrown back, howling like bitch in heat while Ghost and König have their way with you. Both of them pummel into your tight entrance while you grasp for anything to stabilize yourself.

     It’s all you can do to hold yourself together as you cling to Ghost’s shoulders. There was no gentleness in this moment, carnal instinct taking hold of the three of you. Your whole body bounces in Ghost’s hold as he keeps you up, his arms hooked under your knees as he thrust harshly into you. König grasps your hips from where he stands behind you, his fingers threatening to leave bruises in their wake though his thrusts aren’t as harsh. They had you trapped between them, completely at their mercy.

     “Such a good little flower, you are.” König coos against your ear, voice raspy with lust and pleasure. “Look how well you take us. So good for us, Liebling.” His praises send shivers through your already trembling body as they continue pounding into you. 

     All you can manage in response is a needy, drawn-out moan as an all-too-familiar coiling feeling begins to tighten in your abdomen. Your body aches in all the right places with your quickly approaching orgasm. “Oh, fuck.” You whine as your eyes screw shut from the building pressure between your hips. Your back arches, your chest pressing into Ghost’s as you claw his shoulders in a feeble attempt to keep your climax at bay. 

     Ghost groans as he gives a particularly harsh thrust. “Don’t close those pretty eyes of yours, Love.” He pants a bit as he shifts to grip your ass, hiking your legs further up his arms. They both hit a bit deeper with the new angle, sending harsher jolts of pleasure rippling through your tired body. The feeling is blissful, toe-curling, as it rips a scream from your already sore throat. “I want you to see those eyes on me when you come undone.” He growls out. “I want to watch as we rip every last drop of pleasure from your trembling body.” He punctuates his growled statement with a few deep, hard thrusts.

     You can’t think straight, your mind has completely turned to mush and your body is swiftly following it. You peel your eyes open to look at Ghost as you continue to moan and mewl. Your head spins when you find those gorgeous eyes staring back at you, full of lust and desire. Your breath hitches, a silent scream set in your features as König’s hand wraps around your waist. His hand works deftly between your thighs to stimulate you further. Your body wracks with more harsh jolts of sinful pleasure as you teeter on the edge of nirvana.

     It all becomes too much, you can’t hold it together anymore. So you let go. Throwing yourself haphazardly over the ledge of ecstasy. Your climax washes over you with a blinding white heat as your body shakes harshly from the force of your orgasm. You’re only just coming out of your hazed state when you feel König’s hips snap into you harshly, rasped praises and groans spilling from him as his fresh seed drips from where you’re connected. 

     König leaves feathery kisses over your shoulders as Ghost chases his end. Ghost’s hips stutter as he loses himself, each sloppy thrust is harder than the last. “Fuckin’ hell, Babe.” His voice is strained and husky as he gives one final, deep thrust. His eyes screw shut, head tilted back as he gives you every drop he can muster, a whined groan falling from his lips. His knees buckle slightly as he slides himself out. 

     Your heated skin begins to cool rapidly as Ghost relinquishes his hold on your legs, slowly lowering them. You shiver at how empty you suddenly feel, your muscles pulsate around nothing as your feet finally hit the floor. You sway a bit as you try to make your legs work to no avail. Your whole body feels like jello and if it weren’t for König’s arm still wrapped around your waist, you’re certain you’d fall.

     They help you to your cot and lay you down before both disappear from the room. You lay there and relax for a moment as you think of everything that’s happened over the past two hours. A lazy smile graces your lips as you remember the stupid joke that started it all. 

     “..it would give you guys time to work on this little act. You know, a grumpy old man and his anxiety-riddled wife. The kind that bicker over nothing.” You let out a small laugh as the rest of the morning plays out in your head. Admittedly, hiding in the bathroom was a terrible idea. There was nowhere for you to go and when you finally emerged they were both still standing there waiting for you. The way your heart leaped from your body as Ghost practically manhandled you into the room with your cot. They’d both antagonized and teased you for a bit before everything turned serious. 

     Ghost’s steady hand on your upper arm turned into both men fondling you as they raced to get your clothes off. It was such a sudden shift, you barely remember Ghost hoisting you up by the knees as the two sandwiched you between them.

     You’re pulled from your thoughts by the sound of footsteps entering your room. Your eyes catch sight of the all-to-familiar skull mask as Ghost makes his way to you with a bottle of water and a protein bar. You smile at the thought of him taking care of you after what he’d just done to your body. “Thanks.” Your voice rasps a bit as you reach out and take the offered items.     A few moments later König enters the room with a damp washcloth and begins helping you clean the mess on your thighs.

~~~~~.

     After a few hours of rest, you decide it’s time to get up and figure out your next move. Your legs wobble a bit as you stand from your cot, your hips aching as you make your way from the room and down the hall toward the stairs. The house is eerily quiet, which isn’t abnormal but it’s still mildly disconcerting. The stairs creak under your weight as you move down them. Your eyes scan the living room, hoping to find one of your large companions. It’s empty, not a soul in sight as you lower yourself off the last step. 

     “Ghost? König?” You call into the still air of the house hoping for something, anything in response. You receive nothing but silence. An odd sinking feeling befalls you as you step toward the dining room. Something was off, something felt wrong, very wrong. Your heart begins to race with anxiety as you find the dining room and kitchen empty as well. You take a deep breath to calm yourself and your racing thoughts. Everything is fine, they’re probably just in their rooms, quietly relaxing as they wait for your next orders.     You wanted so badly to believe that everything was fine, that they’d both appear at the top of the stairs waiting for you as you made your way back to their embrace. That wasn’t the case however. You check both of their rooms, finding them both empty aside from the gear they had stripped from themselves the night previous.     Anxious fear sets in as you double and triple-check the whole house, even venturing into the untouched basement just to be certain. You scurry through the house back to your room, grabbing your radio and doing the only thing you could think to do in your panicked state. You hold back fearful, anxious tears as you radio back to main base, getting in contact with Price and Laswell.     “They’re gone, just gone.” Your voice is quiet despite the urgency of the situation, almost in disbelief. How could they have just disappeared? There’s no way two large men could just disappear in a matter of hours. There had to be a reason behind it. Maybe they’d gone out for a walk or something. That wouldn’t make sense, you all had your orders and neither of them were the type to go against orders unnecessarily.     “Who’s gone, Iris?” Price’s voice from the radio in your hand breaks you from your distraught pondering. “Ghost and König?”     You nod absentmindedly as you stare out the front window of the house at the car you’d all come here in. “Yes.” Your voice nearly breaks as you try desperately to contain the tears threatening to flow from your tired eyes. “Ghost and König, they’re gone. I’ve checked the house three times. I can’t find them anywhere.” Your voice begins to shake with the panic you’d been trying to push down.     “Alright, take a breath for me okay?” Price’s voice remains as calm as ever. “When did you see them last?”

     The question he’s posed makes your heart jump as your mind goes back to that morning. The way they’d held you between them as they worked together to bring you to the brink of ecstasy. “I...” You do as Price recommended and take a deep breath, clearing your mind just enough to get out an answer. “This morning. I saw them this morning.” Your voice becomes less shaky as you focus on the task at hand. The important thing right now is that you remain calm enough to answer questions to help find them.

     The radio crackles slightly before Laswell’s voice joins the conversation. “What time this morning?”

     “Around ten o’clock. I took a nap and when I got up, maybe thirty minutes ago, they were gone.” Your panic begins to invade your words even as you try to force it away. “The car is still here. Their gear is still in their rooms. I-I don’t know what could have happened.” Your hands shake slightly as you stare at the radio waiting for a reply.

     “Okay, Iris,” Laswell’s voice comes through again, sounding almost hesitant. “I’m going to send Price and the other two boys to your location early. I need you to sit tight, alright.”

     “What about Ghost and König?” You knew it was a stupid question. Nobody knew where they were at this point, nobody would have the answers you were looking for. “I just,” A heavy sigh falls from your lips as you compose yourself as best as you can. “Okay, I’ll be waiting.” You don’t wait for a response before turning the radio off.

~~~~~

     Your mind races as you wait rather impatiently for the others to arrive. Pacing the house over and over as thoughts of König and Ghost flood your mind. What had happened? Where did they go? How hadn’t you noticed them leaving or being taken? A fuzzy feeling begins to form all through your body as your panic grows exponentially. 

     Your hands tremble as tears begin flowing from your eyes. You’re overwhelmed by all of the thoughts and feelings that course through you. You couldn’t even be sure where they were or what they were doing. They could be perfectly fine somewhere in the city, taking time to work through whatever issues they had with each other. Something in the back of your mind told you that it was a fever dream though. You’re certain they would have told you if they were going somewhere.     After what feels like an eternity of pacing, you find yourself seated on the kitchen floor in the same place you’d eaten breakfast. You stare at your shaking hands as they rest your lap, contemplating what your next move will be now. Surely your higher-ups will want to continue this mission with or without König and Ghost, though you doubt most of the team will be so willing to move forward. Your breath comes in soft, labored pants as more fearful tears fall down your cheeks. 

     You allow yourself a moment to just feel, no thinking or planning, just feeling. Your head slowly falls back against the wall behind you. Dread, sadness and fear overwhelm your senses as you stare blankly at the old ceiling. You sit for a moment like this, taking in the sight of the cracks and cobwebs that litter the material overhead. It’s not until you take a deep, shaky breath that you notice the undeniable scent of fresh outside air invading the staleness of the interior of the decrepit house.

     Your brows furrow as confusion sets in at the oddity. Your head snaps to the side as your eyes find the lone kitchen window to your left. The window glows slightly with the light of the setting sun. The soft light gives you a small glimpse into what may have happened while you were resting earlier. You jump to your feet, swiftly moving the small distance between yourself and the window. You find that it’s cracked slightly, the small opening allowing fresh air to seep into the room. 

     Your eyes flit rapidly over the surface of the window and the things that surround the area, looking for anything that would prove your thoughts wrong. Sadly, all it does is further confirm your fears as your eyes land on a handprint that’s disturbed the dust on the window sill. The phantom shapes of fingers clearly pointing into the house, making your fears become more of a reality. Someone had come in through this window, how far they had made it was still unclear. What was becoming clear, however, was the fact that your men had most likely been taken by someone. 

     Your head spins as you think through all of the people who wanted to get their hands on 141. The possibilities are truly limitless, but your thoughts halt on a very specific woman and the people she worked with. Alice. Your team still had her in holding, trying to get as much information out of her as possible before turning her over for imprisonment. Perhaps her people had been watching 141 this whole time, waiting for a moment to take her back. Your head begins to spin again at the thought of all the things that could be happening to Ghost and König right now. You know the in’s and out’s of enemy capture and interrogation and none of it was pretty.

     Your mouth goes dry as you begin to sink to the floor, fearing for the lives of the two most important people in your life. Even through the heartache with Simon and the complications that each man had caused with your connection to the other, you still needed them both. You need them to be okay, to be safe and near you. Your whole being yearns for them to be right there with you, holding you and telling you everything would be fine, even if it was a lie.

(Don’t forget to ask about joining my tag-list: @josieguts @strangepuppynightmare @theredviolets @poohkie90 @giulia2372 @fillechatoyante @buckysjuicyplums @running-writing @darkravenqueen98)

[firesnap]

Using this blog as a. well. blog. tw weight loss tw diet talk tw pain management or whatever you need there.

Last year when I went to see Lvjy in Scotland and England with Mia, I hurt my leg. Badly. I had strained it before I left and during the trip just completely fucked it up. My doctor warned me I had done pretty severe damage to it. Tore a muscle, the muscle now irritates my sciatic nerve and can cause intense pain. I went to physical therapy and it slowly got better but I still had trouble standing for long periods of time in October .

After everything happened in February, I decided I needed to get my shit together. I started exercising regularly. Drinking less. Changed my diet. I started working on losing weight. And I had really quick results. I've lost 18 pounds right now.

But almost 2 weeks ago I hurt my bad leg. I don't know if it was on the rowing machine or when I took the nephews to a trampoline park, but over the course of a weekend, my hamstring got incredibly stiff and I started getting this electric shooting pain down my leg that made it hurt to stand and walk. The act of getting out of bed or sitting (and standing) would hurt so much that I wanted to just stay in bed the whole day.

I immediately got a doctor appointment. My normal doctor was out of town so she sent me to someone in her practice. I needed pain relief and a rec for physical therapy. I went in knowing that and just had a humiliating experience where the doctor implied she didn't believe my medical history and acted like I was wanting pain killers (when I hadn't requested ANY pain relief other than last year when I was traveling and then I ended up fucking up my leg so bad that it didn't help). But I got a prescription for tramadol for a week (and I've been skipping doses to stretch that out), an order to take 800mg of ibuprofen on top of that, and a referral for physical therapy.

But I'm still in just. Intense. pain. At first, I couldn't get the physical therapist to understand that I can't do a lot of these exercises and stretches without crying. Yesterday she seemed to get that and we tried cupping(???) and some heat massage to try and get my hamstring to relax but fuck man. I'm in so much pain today that I laid in bed and cried just from trying to get up

I just don't understand how to convince doctors that I can't heal when I can't even walk down the stairs or through the grocery store

[star-going-supernova]

Tumblr generated prompt number 9 actually landed on a free space, so I got to pick a prompt myself! I decided to take inspiration from this idea of @halogenrobotics's, which has Vanessa quitting her job at the pizzaplex because Vanny was in control the whole time, and Vanessa thus never actually learned how to do her job, lol. I went my own way from there, inspired by the game Firewatch.

Learning to Live Again

The strain of physical exertion, of her body moving, was wonderful. The sounds of nature—birds chirping and rustling leaves and a bubbling stream—were amazing. The sun on her face and the wind in her hair—newly short, cut an inch or so above her shoulders—felt incredible. 

Vanessa paused on a flat bit of trail and just breathed. 

No more dark hallways and dusty basements for her. Before, she wouldn’t have described herself as a very nature-y person, but after so long locked up in her own head and subject to the whims of a remorseless murderer, even the most cavernous of rooms felt claustrophobic. 

This—the great outdoors, miles and miles from the nearest small town—was about as big of a change as she could get. It was everything she needed; it was a fresh start. 

Besides that, she mused as she continued onward, it was kind of a necessary one. Even after Vanny was purged from her, to say things were difficult was an understatement. She’d missed literal years of her life, and half of Vanny’s memories were either inaccessible or useless to her. The world had moved on without Vanessa Anderson, and it wasn’t willing to wait for her to catch up. 

Because Vanny had been the night guard. No, really. Vanny went through the training, not Vanessa. Vanny learned the security systems. Vanny knew the protocols. Vanny had the experience. 

The routine of getting ready for and going to work had been muscle memory, right up until she stepped inside the pizzaplex (ignoring the way just being there made her feel sick) and realized she had no idea how to do her job. 

She didn’t have a single memory of actually being a night guard. And she was pretty sure it was an intentional move on Vanny’s part—a final middle finger before she was destroyed—because she had other memories from those years. Blurry and vague ones, sure, but only the details of her job were a great big blank.

It… hadn’t actually stressed her out as much as Vanny probably intended. 

She wrote out her two-weeks’ notice that very night and sent the email as her shift ended. And now she was here, in the middle of a national forest, on her way to start her new job as a fire watch. 

And she was excited for it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been excited for something. 

The hike to her new part-home, part-office—a watchtower—took about two days, and by the time she arrived, she was all tuckered out.

The stairs to the lookout tower seemed to stretch on forever, and Vanessa kept the promise of a bed at the top in mind, like a dangling carrot. Mm. No. Not carrot. A dangling cherry. Those were much tastier and had nothing nada zilch to do with bunnies. 

Upon reaching the top, she leaned on the white wooden railing to catch her breath. The climb was worth it, she decided, not just for the bed, but for the sunset. The golden light was stretching over the forest below, dipping in and out of valleys and around the surrounding mountains. Red and amber haloed the sun, lighting the clouds on fire with a gentle pink and yellow glow. 

It was gorgeous. 

It was probably also perfectly visible from her bed, given the one-room cabin at the top of the tower was window all the way around. She fumbled with the key and didn’t even bother turning on the lights when she made it inside. Just collapsed onto the unmade bed and leaned against the pleasantly cool glass to finish watching the sun set. 

When her legs had regained some feeling in them, Vanessa pushed herself up with a groan and flipped on the lights to take in her new home. Small, but cozy. And it didn’t feel claustrophobic at all, thanks to the panoramic windows. She could get used to this. 

She had just begun unpacking her essentials—anything more than that could wait until tomorrow—when a staticky sound made her jump. Dropping her toiletry bag, she zeroed in on a walkie-talkie settled in its charging station on the desk. 

“Helloooo?” a woman’s voice came through the speaker, sounding bright and cheery. “You there, newbie? Aw, I know you are—I can see your lights on!” 

Huffing a chuckle, amused despite herself, Vanessa went and grabbed the walkie-talkie. “Hi,” she said. 

“Greetings—” the woman immediately responded. Her smile was audible— “from the other side of the valley! I’m your supervisor on this beautiful evening, and all the ones after it.” 

Vanessa leaned back against the desk, something warm taking root in her heart. It’d been so long she’d had a friend, and she couldn’t help but hope this woman, who didn’t sound much older than her at all, might become one. She thought she’d like that. 

“Vanessa, right?” her supervisor continued. “Welcome aboard!” 

“Best welcome I’ve ever gotten at a new job,” she said honestly. “Yeah, I’m Vanessa. Ness is fine too.” 

“We here at the Wyoming Fire Watch are all about warm welcomes.” 

Laughter—real, unforced laughter—shook Vanessa’s body, and her eyes welled up a little just from the relief of it. That she was still alive despite her battered mind and borrowed body. She let the woman hear it in silent thanks, pressed the talk button on her walkie-talkie so she would know her joke had been well-received. 

“I’ll have to think up some fire puns of my own,” Vanessa said, swiping at her eyes. 

“That’s the spirit! I’ve heard a lot, though, so I might be tough to impress.” 

“I like a challenge,” she said, interrupted halfway by a yawn. 

“That’s good,” the woman said, earnest. “This job isn’t for the faint of heart. But don’t worry about that now, Vanessa. Get your bed set up and conk out for as long as you like. We all take a day or two to recover from that hike, even us pros.” 

“The bed is calling to me,” she admitted with a grin. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, right?” 

“Right. And I’m always only a walkie-talkie away if you need anything.” 

“I appreciate that. Thank you, uh…” 

Smile audible once more, the woman replied, “The name’s Annie. It’s nice to meet you, Ness.” 

Holding the walkie-talkie close, Vanessa closed her eyes, at peace. “It’s nice to meet you too, Annie.”  

[heartsyhawk]

As bad weeks go this is definitely one I'm having (CW: Animal death... again, grief)

When my dog Suki passed away on Sunday it was unfathomably devastating and heartbreaking. I knew it was happening and had time to prepare for it and process it but she was literally a cornerstone for just about my entire life and the loss hurt deep.

It still hurts deep. It's gonna be an ugly snarl of pain for a long time. New things keep cutting into it to make a fresh and zesty new hurt. So far today it has been things like 'I spilled raisins on the floor and had a whole panic attack scrabbling to get them up before the 4 legged vacuum who absolutely cannot have grapes realized there was something on the floor...except she did not and will never again race to "help" clean up spilled human food', 'found a can of her favorite food in a place I didn't expect it to be', 'woke up from a brief nap automatically at what used to be afternoon walk time', 'her insulin is still in my fridge' and 'was able to agree to plans without worrying about being home to do meds'.

I imagine at some point things will stop adding new knife wounds but I am not there yet. Extra definitely not there yet.

My cat Dobby was even more broken than I was at losing her. They were buddies for her whole 15 years with us and we knew it was going to be hard for him, how could it not be. But he was 20 and a half years old and even though he was in pretty nice shape for a kitty his age, his heart couldn't take the strain of grief.

Three days after Suki lost her battle with cancer, Dobby died (the vet called it broken heart syndrome) just before midnight.

I feel like I'm drowning in sticky tar. I can't believe they are both gone, so close together. They were the last two babies I had. My heart and home are empty of all but the reminders they should be here.

I can't help but worry through the unbearable agonizing loneliness that I won't be able to have another pet. My health is... complicated. I can't do a lot of the physical things I should be able to. I can't change the litter box for a cat without help due to my breathing and physical strength (and I DO NOT have reliable help anymore). I can't go on long walks with a dog anymore and I don't know if I have the stamina to train an animal. And the cost. Woo boy the cost. Pet food alone is up about 45 percent since Covid started like a lot of necessary groceries. Pet vet meds got so much more expensive too. Vet bills are always pretty steep. But I casually looked into adopting a kitten and it's gonna be 500 dollars for the pair (nobody will let you adopt a single kitten here anymore) before that animal is even chipped or spayed/neutered. I can't afford that right now and I'm not sure I will be able to any time soon. The shelters near me will do like 50 bucks for a senior cat and that's great but I would prefer to have less old age related pet issues for like a decade.

Everything is just really rotten this week. I'm sure things will get better eventually but we aren't quite there.