#so the split fits well
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wip wednesday
f1 iliad AU
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“Pat.” Diomedes takes a seat on the edge of a bench close to the windows, right beside where Patroclus stands. He’s still completely suited up. “Vibes are fucked in this place today. Achilles might as well have killed Odysseus, he’s been wandering around like a ghost with unfinished business.”
Patroclus can’t tear his eyes away from the screens above the track, the image of Achilles and his pink cheeks, his jaw set, his hands balled into fists at his side as he and Agamemnon trade words. The headline reads, “Chosen one chooses to walk”. Diomedes follows his gaze and rolls his eyes.
“I hate this chosen one shit,” he says. “Can’t a man be good at racing without all this prophecy and destiny talk?”
Patroclus shrugs. “It sells tickets.”
“I sell tickets too. And so do you. And we don’t have media on our ass claiming we’re chosen for anything.”
Patroclus looks around for a subject change. The rivalry between drivers on a different team is none of his business. Achilles has had this talk of destiny floating around him since he was born, the son of the legendary racer Peleus. Of course the media would bestow a title like Chosen One onto him. And of course a driver as talented as Diomedes would find such a title boring and predictable.
“All this destiny bullshit is spoiling the race,” Diomedes continues. “Achilles thinks he’s supposed to win because of divine right, so he took this personally. I just don’t get it. He sinks the team and yours too probably, allowing asshole Hector and Paris to win, just because he won’t place first personally. It’s just insane.”
“It’s really Agamemnon’s fault,” Patroclus says. His words come out with more force than he intended. “First of all, what’s a team owner getting so down into the weeds for? Also, he should’ve known Achilles’s pride would get in the way of conceding a win to you. Yes, I know you’re on the same team,” Patroclus says before Diomedes can protest. “You’re looking at this from a team point of view. That’s not how Achilles thinks. That’s not why he’s here.”
#im serious im having the most fun with this AU it’s like playing with barbies#everyone is being a huge bitch and it’s so much fun#odysseus the miserable mother fucker team principal#pat dio achilles hector and paris as drivers#helen the lucrative sponsorship everyone’s fighting for#i also placed menelaus as the pr/marketing to get him higher on the team leadership lol he fits so well there#it’s just so fun#im maybe halfway? through idk it seems like it’ll stay one chapter but we will see#might need to split it#anyway#thanks for indulging me lol#the iliad#f1 iliad au#patroclus#diomedes
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I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.
Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.
Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.
It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.
Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙
#the owl house#toh#toh spoilers#luz noceda#camilla noceda#this isn't proofread so if there's words missing or misspellings or somethings unclear feel free to mention#but this is just a messy thought dump#I have a ROUGH WEEK. I wish there was a more positive vibe in the fandom rn (although i kinda get it but also :( sad)#but there isn't one i will create it#tentatively I don't have a responsibility to do that I just wanna talk about things i noticed and like#i am going to post reqs just u wait. bitch!#also uhhhh other things i thought while making this post but couldn't include:#hunter and gus being fantasy trekkies is really funny and cute but also fits really well with both of their characters#gus has always been in love with the human realm and this is the ultimate neat little bow on that.#he's dressed as a character he relates to (captain avery trying to get back home to the family he loves) and his interest is uniquely human#bc sci-fi is kinda uniquely rooted in/associated w/ the human realm in toh. even in something like Belos' steampunk tech#SPEAKING OF. hunter oh my GODDD#he gets so attached to the human realm in TTT bc he's finally somewhere safe (he's always been entrenched in the most-#-toxic parts of the demon realm and it's culture which is ironically propelled forward by one humans influence)#and it's like a part of him is reclaiming his weird split heritage. he loves magic and he loves sci-fi and he's silly abt both#he's not a witch or a human and he's happy. or at least he will be#anyway. i love this shows relationship to fiction it is sweet and comforting and funny
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I finally got around to watching the clone wars so here are some Ahsoka and Anakin headcanons that wont leave my brain
They both steal each other's stuff and complain when they catch the other one doing it
As Anakin’s hair grows longer he finds himself looking for hair wraps or something to push it back
And he stumbles on Ahsoka's stash he borrows them mostly when she’s off on a mission so she won’t complain
But she suspects him of doing so cause they’re never in the correct spot he also steals some of her simpler hand wraps when he’s training
Ahsoka's just as bad tho she’ll steal Anakin’s cloaks and shirts all the time cause for some reason the council failed to give her comfortable clothes
It all comes to a head when Ahsoka is debriefing the council and Anakin and she stops and goes “Is that my head wrap?”
The change of topic is so abrupt that no one reacts for a hot second
And then Anakin goes into full-on defensive mode like “What? No your device must be defective cause this isn’t yours”
Which Ahsoka calls him out because “Jedi’s don’t lie so just come clean sky guy I know that mine. And are those my kriffing hand wraps?! Take those off you’re gonna mess them up!”
Anakin is still defending himself and Obi-Wan is stepping in scolding them for using this line for their petty and selfish arguments
And then Anakin says “Wait snips is that my cloak” “Don’t change the subject just cause you got caught” “No no you can’t talk about getting caught you little hypocrite that’s my cloak!”
Obi-Wan is still chiming in half-heartedly but he knows better than to stop a full-on argument between those two
Especially when they’re throwing each other words back at them like “I thought you said I should keep warm” “And I thought you said I need a hair wrap with all this hair”
The argument only ends cause Windu threatens to hang up the com
After the debriefing ends Anakin calls Ahsoka back and the argument starts right back up again
Ahsoka always gets ready with her music playing
And Anakin in true big brother fashion doesn’t want Ahsoka to know he likes her music so instead he’ll just turn on their version of shazam and stands by the speaker in what he thinks is a normal fashion
It always goes something like this “Master what are you doing?” “What do you mean snips I’m not doing anything” “Oh so you’re just standing in my doorway with your device on for no reason” “Yep” “Okay when well have fun”
And in bratty little sister fashion she turns off her music and lights and leaves him in the doorway
Later on she makes a playlist of all his favorite songs and sends a link to it
All she hears is a grumbled “thank you” from the other room
Anakin also plays his music out loud sometimes and it took a small amount of time to realize the songs Ahsoka complains about the most are her favorites
He adds them to their shared playlist and ignores her when she plays those songs more
Over time they make a lot of joined playlists
Some to work out and train to, some to hype them up before a mission, some to wind down after a mission, some to play when they have nightmares
It’s something that they both enjoy more than they probably should
Obi-Wan jokes that some of those playlists will be the death of him
Ahsoka runs abnormally hot to the point where she could wear shorts in winter and Anakin runs cold enough to be confused for a corpse
Obi-Wan Padme and Ahsoka all agree that he needs to get checked out cause no way is it healthy to be that cold
They're both fine in their rooms where Ahsoka can blast the AC and Anakin can turn the heater up as high as he needs
But the common room is where the bickering happens such as “Jesus snips I didn’t realize we lived on Hoth” or “I’m so sorry master that every room can feel like Mustafar”
I also know that they both get nightmares like Earth-shaking soul shattering nightmares
Some where they get abandoned some when they can’t save each other in time and some where they have to kill each other
Not a lot of words need to be said when Ahsoka wakes Anakin out of a dead sleep with tears in her eyes or when Ahsoka wakes up cause Anakin is checking in on her for the third time that night
They both just grab as many pillows and blankets as they can carry so they can make the world's best pillow fort
Obi-Wan has grown accustomed to finding them cuddled up on the floor while the credits of a shitty old movie roll in the background
When they get older I feel like they unlock the childhood nickname status
Don't get me wrong snips and sky guy are their normal nicknames and will never go away but those are mostly used when they’re out in public or on the battlefield
When they’re around people they trust like Obi-Wan and Padme you’ll hear questions like “You good Ani?” or “Be safe Soka”
#star wars#star wars clone wars#the clone wars#ahsoka tano#star wars headcanons#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#padmé amidala#ahsoka and anakin#snips and skyguy#yall dont understand#these stupid doomed siblings have taken over my every waking thought#like I'm actually obsessed in an unhealthy way#I'll never forgive whoever decided they needed to be separated#especially cause they look so fucking sad when they are separated#like that is a pair why would you split them up!!!!!#they're frequently bought together#why would you give him a sibling just to take her away#anyway I might wright more headcanons#and I say headcanon in a loose sense cause it's basically an au#no one dies no one gets hurt and I keep all my babies close together#but only if the weird star wars dude bros agree not to be weird about it#I don't wanna hear any “well that doesn't fit in canon”#I have officially rejected canon
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Consider: Cang Qiong High School Host Club.
.....Huh.
Hmmmm.
#the funny thing is this would almost have to star shen jiu as haruhi?#if we're looking at the one poor kid among all the rich trust fund babies#either that or SY and SJ have to be the twins‚ which does do weird things to the different roles & relationships#like. if SJ does not come from a street kid background then why is he Like That#hmm maybe there was a Parent Trap situation where the twins got split up between the parents#and SY went with a parent who was fairly decent and SJ went with a parent who was ... not#and they were reunited in high school?#they wouldn't be able to pull off the Hitachiin interchangeable double act#but they might get some mileage out of a good twin-bad twin act instead#okay let's try SY and SJ as the twins and Luo Binghe as Haruhi#Yue Qingyuan as the well-meaning but kind of a himbo club leader#Liu Qingge as Mori perhaps? he doesn't fit great as Kyouya -- not manipulative enough#But then again Shang Qinghua and Mobei-jun would best fit Hani and Mori's weird codependency thing#so that does leave the role of the SIC for Liu Qingge#I don't think the roles all line up exactly -- we may have to combine or split out some#I feel like the demon characters have got to be in some kind of a rival club#but it's been a while since I've seen OHSHC so I can't recall most of the plotlines#either way Luo Binghe accidentally breaks something#and gets co-opted into the host club to work off his debt#this solution was proposed by SY and Luo Binghe went '....okay!'#then unfortunately. he met shen jiu#ouran high school host club crossover#scum villian self saving system
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I'm split between keeping Nooroo as the kwami of Generosity or changing him to the kwami of Potential.
#my headcanons#jj speaks#nooroo#butterfly kwami#butterfly miraculous#on one hand I think 'potential' fits him really really well#but on the other I like the idea of the kwami of generosity turning selfish and all the symbolism there#so I'm split
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oh goodness it’s debate time
#^ girl who has wasted all day very slowly watching the fanmade warrior cats danganronpa trial#I AM INVESTED#they kept it canon up til now#its diverging now#the actually killer in the books is likely innocent i am so curious as to who its supposed to be in this au#THIS IS SO WELL MADE?? OBSESSED with blixemi’s voice acting here. love her singing and her videos and now he danganronpa hollyleaf#rambles#i forgot what its called but leopardstar being the one to say “theyre split right down the middle” and initiating whatever that minigame wa#called is very fitting
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Bering and Wells: (Invisible)-Split Screen #334
#BERING AND WELLS#Warehouse 13#split screen#Myka Bering#Helena HG Wells#these are from two different episodes#but they fit together so seamlessly#I took the 'split' bar out#I mean - how perfect are they here?#the jackets#the t-shirts
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it may be wrong to get my hopes up???? but i kinda hope we get a chuuoku song out of rhyme anima lol
#this is vee speaking#chuuoku and nmcd songs are my dream lmao#i’ve been trying to think of the semantics behind a hoods and homies split lol like#like we’ll have those 14 songs split i think is the given so that’s seven songs per day there#and?? are we still getting two new rhyme anima songs per division like last season???#so they split those up as well???? similar to the 9th live with one division song and then homies hoods songs and then all stars songs????#and then there may be rhyme anima battle season songs too#can?????? we fit chuuoku in there is what i’m asking lmao!!!!!!!!#like we get omamagoto and rhyme anima chuuoku song????#(rip bounce back lol)#the fact the women weren’t listed as performers does put a damper on this tho lmao
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So I made friends with another VF fan today, and they gave me the best goddamn idea
@cxrsedboo I know you're seeing this ilysm you're so great for this lol Taking place during Five Forged (episode 19), I'm focusing on Pidge (as always) being electrocuted and what comes from it
Specifics under the cut because I can't not rant about my favorite boy ever <3
I've never really paid attention to Pidge getting electrocuted, mostly because I thought of it as the writers nerfing Pidge to prove the cadets were actually important, HOWEVER it was pointed out that Pidge shouldn't have recovered so quickly and from there everything spiraled
My idea is that this is when Pidge's transition to not being a lion pilot anymore starts Being electrocuted to the point of UNCONSCIOUSNESS isn't fucking good and in researching he'd be so fucked up Unconsciousness is already a symptom of electrocution, but other things could happen like burns, seizures, an irregular heartbeat, breathing problems, and muscle spasms to name a few
Even if Pidge woke up as fast as he did canonically, he'd be unfocused and weak, so he probably doesn't hit as many or any of the weird disk things that are shooting him after he gets back up Not to mention the next room is the room that blocks their voltcoms and if he was unfocused before then the team can't rely on him to figure out the tech at all It'd make them figure out that they gotta get through it by pure will power faster than in canon (fuck the humanity aspect, 3 of them aren't human and another 2 are half human out of a team of 8)
The team would have to take care of Pidge the entire time they were in the death temple and since that energy was mystical in general it'd probably react with the ghost mechanic they meet outside, making Pidge seize Before he just drops to the floor, Keith grabs him by the collar and soon some healers on Arial care for him before the team rushes him back to Arus
This is where my idea starts kicking off, med bay won't let Pidge fly, especially since he has muscle weakness and has seized before meaning he runs the chance of having epilepsy or seizing again which isn't good either So he's going to be monitored for a while and now the team is thinking Oh Great, Who's Gonna Fly Green?
In comes the cadets to check in on Pidge, and he tosses his key to Larmina, telling her that he hates not being in the fight but hates thinking green would be mistreated if he wasn't there Pidge trained Larmina himself, as they're both ninjas, so he trusts her A LOT and knows she can put up a good fight with the team out there while taking care of herself and green, he specifically tells her that she's the only one he trusts to do well in his lion since he can't be there himself (which may or may not hurt Vince)
After that he's relegated to castle control, which he isn't fond of, but he can watch Larmina become a better pilot and still give her advice since she's going to be in real fights with a lion instead of a sim which she doesn't try at much anyway
At the end of the show, we get told that Pidge has a hobby with upgrading the castle controls, so being kept on castle arrest is where it would start Feeling useless, he decides to upgrade anything he can get his hands on, including castle defenses, eventually becoming a hobby like in the show, and before he knows it he's back in green
Though he will step down, and he knows it, so as he thinks about who'd take over, it's only Larmina who comes into mind for being the best replacement for him, he just hopes she'll still be available to take up his mantle as green lion when the time comes
#voltron force#vforce11#voltron force 2011#vf rant#voltron rant#toast talks#vf pidge#darrell pidge stoker#vf larmina#duchess larmina#everything is fitting together guys#i knew i wanted larmina in a different lion but pidge's split second decision?#not it#this works so fucking well im so glad you talked about this DJ#this is further in the future so it's going to be heavily rewritten in my fics#we'll see how it goes
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𝐂𝐋. Concerning the previous post, I wanted to make a separate thing focusing on the Khraun-arya spiritual evolution, since, given its resemblance to Khaenri'ah in name, I find relevant for Dain. There are a few interesting points here that I think that have a plausible parallel with actual matters or events that are related to Khaenri'ah:
✧ The root of this evolution stage is split into two possibilities: one being that it's a direct continuation of the previous stage (N)atlantean and the other being that the souls of the Aryan —name given to those that are in the Khraun-arya evolution stage— are significantly older and that they incarnated the bodies of the Atlanteans which, in turn, rose from a subrace of the Lemurian.
While this isn't entirely 1:1 with what we know thus far in Genshin (unless more comes to pass that can be connected better with this), we know of the existences of beings such as Durin and Elynas whose lives didn't begin with the conception of physical bodies by Rhinedottir, but at an undetermined time prior back when they existed as immaterial souls in the bleak Abyss.
✦ This race is said to have been created by one of the most important Masters of the Ancient Wisdom, which are liberated beings that live in the etheric plane of the world.
This lacks a more in-depth parallel than the previous one, yet the knowledge part is highly suiting the society of Khaenri'ah, that counted with a vast knowledge that included what happened in the nations presided by Archons (and classified as forbidden knowledge, not to mistake as Forbidden Knowledge), dragons and matters of the Abyss however accurate or biased the latter were, as the Universitas Magistrorum is said to instrumentalize knowledge and twist it to Khaenri'ah's needs.
✧ They are described as being moon-colored.
This one is a favorite of mine that has me excited, as I tend to describe Dain as having moon-like beauty which, at the same time, is also associated with Nabu Malikata —goddess and seelie survivor—, hence with angelic themes that are connected to the seelies. Furthermore, there is also a race described in the Pale Princess and the Six Pygmies that lives in the Moonlight Forest kingdom and are said to have fair skin color, light-colored hair and bright blue eyes due to the lack of sunlight and for the nourishment of the moonlight. Ironically, this kingdom is described to be close to the Land of Night presided by the Night Mother, which could potentially be the Abyss. This might be a parallel to Khaenri'ah itself being close to the Abyss given some of its people's obsession with it and the fact that they could harness its energy as a source of energy to power the automatons and possibly the rest of the kingdom after abandoning the energy of the Ley Lines that was used before using the Abyss.
✦ Part of the race founded the City of the Sun.
Not much to say about this other than the resemblance with the Darksun / Eclipse dynasty that were one of the royals known in Khaenri'ah (I say one and not the as it is a dynasty and there could've existed more throughout the millennia since Khaenri'ah's existence).
✧ The ongoing evolution of this race is connected with divine's influence (the Lord of the World to be specific, which could be Phanes).
While ironic if we think about Khaenri'ah being an anti-gods nation, they worship the Abyss as one would a god and potentially a Black Serpent too, from which the royal guards would take their name after (while it's undetermined who this serpent is, a good candidate could be Ouroboros given its ties to alchemy and perhaps Irminsul too, as well as being a cosmic serpent and the Abyss being implied to be the cosmos at times, visual similarities aside). Moreover, it is safe to say that as they were part of the unified civilization, early Khaenri'ahns could be considered to be "primordial humans" in the sense that they are closer to what the first humans Phanes created were like, thus their bond with the divine regardless of how proud or not they are for that (whether this is what punctuates a higher purity of "Khaenri'ahn" blood or not, there is some sort of pride in that as there was an existent distinction between pure-blood Khaenri'ahns and those who are not).
✦ They are described as possessing an inexplicable intellectual level in comparison to other races / subraces, possessing a sacred spark.
Sans the sacred spark, this is self-explanatory as the Khaenri'ahns achieved feats that even gods replicated later on and even 500 years later, their technology is still unmatched for a great part (albeit potentially contested by Fontaine's, as it seems to have some resemblance to Khaenri'ah's down to the use of the pneumousia phenomenon, part of which could be linked to the Abyss).
✧ They were created before cataclysms to have and, are subjected to the destruction of the "failures of nature" and rise of a higher race in the future.
Tragic as this is, we have encountered instances in which the creatures of the Abyss such as Abyss Mages, Heralds, Lectors and the Iniquitous Baptist are considered transcendent ones, thus there seems to be a connotation of "betterment" in comparison to normal humans, specially if we're to take Jakob as an example of Neo Human whose alternative form is that of an Iniquitous Baptist, and René and Carter as Narzissenkreuz (each of them under different circumstances).
Lastly, but not least, it is said that the final stage of human spiritual evolution in Genshin is the freedom from the gods. This is what seems to be the course the story will take with themes of defying gods, the world and the fate, which the gods control.
#◟༺✧༻◞ events to be remembered in blue veins ┊addendum.┊#oof this turned out way longer#than I anticipated#and I was considering to put this with the same post#as the previous one#so I did well in splitting it djfhjg#I have to say though#that according to the Narzissenkreuz Ordo#the Khraun-arya spiritual stage is of humans at large#and not limited to Khaenri'ah#or maybe we'll find out later on#if humans developed at different paces#and in different manners depending on the place#but it was fun to draw these parallels with Khaenri'ah specifically#and how fitting it all is#now I'm takin the moon part#and running away with it#because I've been a bit conscious about it#but I'll be more unapologetic from now on djfhjg
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i love how well the buckley siblings names fit together, daniel, maddie and evan just sound so good and cohesive and it does something to my brain
#this is weird to fixate on but when you’re like me and my siblings who don’t have names that fit together at all—#well we do— but like if you split us into two sets of siblings like my two sisters names go together#and mine and my brother’s name fit together but all four of us? no it sounds like two different sets of parents named us#obviously i’m not stupid i know the writers chose the names specifically BUT i’ve seen some tv and films siblings names that don’t work so—#evan buckley#maddie buckley#daniel buckley#buckley siblings#911 on fox#911 abc#911 tv show#9-1-1#9-1-1 tv
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I am kissing Guild Wars 2 directly on the mouth for letting me make my boy with all his design elements
#Guild Wars 2#gw2#Sylvari#I need an oc tag#Balthazar#well I named him 'Belar' in-game so I wouldn't lose my mind#only nit-pick is I wish the coloring worked differently for this specific hairstyle#but I mean. between letting me have the blacked-out eyes and split chin and black markings going up the arms I'll fucken take it#god that's not even getting into Mesmer as a class and how it fits him like a damn glove#casting purple magic? illusions? smoke bombs and mirror-copies of yourself? BUTTERFLY MOTIFS????? I am having a very good time
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Well then
Not me finally finishing a chapter draft and expecting to take a few days to relax before a good week or two of editing, only to immediately get the fervent inspiration to write out the basic plot details and some dialogue for quite a few chapters (14 so far) of the Geumsaegi AU, since I already had a word document open. Which might be good in the long run, since I had been puzzling over how to make espionage plots that would work in-universe, and also fit a reasonable narrative, where each chapter would lead into each other and support the plot.
It was like this back in university, too. Finish the bullet point rough draft of a project due in two months, and then decide to start working on it right away since I had time instead of taking it easy.
Side note, apparently Korean Hangul characters may have many different romanizations (like Kim, Gim, and Ghim, or Park, Bak, and Pak being one of the more famous ones)? Which makes coming up with the much later in the future Korean OC names all the more difficult, because a single name can have multiple different Korean spellings. And that is assuming a word used as a description is not conjugated differently from the same word being used as a proper given name. Correct me if I am very wrong on this. Things to study later I guess.
I feel this on some level.
#coming up with espionage themed plotlines that would fit in universe is so much harder than you think#and I have work in real life to attend to#it's the busy season#I should go to bed#hey how did you get that scholarship?#Oh you know obsessing over getting things done far ahead of schedule so I can relax#I don't even have time limits anymore????#there is getting ahead of oneself and then there is whatever this is#never mind splitting the next chapter of the current AU in two to avoid an odd number of chapters#this one needs to get split as well there are so many words#sah#squirrel and hedgehog#dr dudeoji#I feel that
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I wouldn't normally post self-portraits, but I don't think I know anyone who would let me call this one. Also hey, it's that special time of the year, this gets a pass.
#and with special time of the year I mean the worst fucking time of my life once again. yip-fucking-ie. Fourth year in a row lets celebrate#open it in a new tab for better quality if you want to spot all the mistakes I made#I hate this drawing. it was thrown together in a fit of I am real and I am tangible as well as breakdown induced migraines#Which explains the missing jaw actually I didn't even think about that#Is it anatomically accurate? How am I to know. I have yet to rip my throat out#as tempting as it is#But yeah this is the result of having to stare at a mirror for hours to not lose sight of reality#At this point it feels like I am splitting into three people at once and none of them can find it in themselves to text my friends#All of this is going to pass like every year but God does it suck. If anyone can relate to this drawing I am so sorry; seek help#anyway rant over back into the fog of migraines and isolation I go#I just wanted this drawing out there so I can get rid of it on my harddrive. I will be honest I use this account as an archive for my art#tw body horror#tw blood#tw injury
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haaaaiiii guyyyyssss (gn) probably gonna be on here more often again soon. life events occurring. have occurred? still occurring, i suppose.
i'll probably post abt it more in depth at some ltr point, still in the very early stages of some stuff. i dont want to classify them as positive or negative things, however they're certainly things.
there's a lot of thoughts in my brain (hah), and ultimately i want to share them, but for now this is kind of me waving at everyone with a smile while my life has an "under construction" sign
#the last sentence also pertains to system stuff bc there was a major split from a significant alter#so like imagine an 'under new management' sign as well#not a host shift tho afaik but the split has resulted in a new fronter who's very active and has been co-con very frequently since#i've been having a Time recently in ways i'll ltr divulge abt but i finally established a solid communication with her today and that helped#i dont know how many splits/alters had broken off because intuition is saying a few but she's the most present and active in my awareness#i think we settled on her name being Lily but that may not be concrete#for a few alters i get like a single letter for their name and i try to work with them to find a name within that letter that feels right#one of my oldest and closest alters has only had the letter 'E' for the longest time and he and i cant find a solid name yet#every now and again im like 'edgar??? edwin??? edward??? emil???' and he's like 'fuck if i know' so like. fair enough dude.#i wonder if he'd like ez/ezara given that's a name we picked for ourselves pre-diagnosis however he doesn't fit that name in my opinion#ANYWAY. Lily is a teen girl in very much every way possible and she's very much an ANP#she is loved but as i type that she made it clear she's having an eyeroll reaction but that is the best i've got lol#i dont really mention system members often on here and mention them moreso to friends however i have a feeling she'll want a sideblog tbh#which is not something i've created/done for alters before as generally most of the system choose to be more private#but she seems extremely social and i want to give her her own space#i hesitate to give her an okay posting on her own on here mainly because i am an adult and i consider this blog an adult space#but im also okay discussing her in reference if that makes dense#anyway. yeah. as you can probably imagine shit has been Going On given there was a major split/restructuring but again that's for later#that's enough rambling from me lol ttyl
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#god would i look insane if i sent an email to mhy complaining abt what they did to dehya :/#i’m just. i dont even care this point if they never buff her i just want an explanation for WHY they made her kit like that#it’s infuriating to me that they took this well-liked character in the community and gave us time to really know and sit with her#only to absolutely shit on everyone by making her kit so fucked up#and this is the SECOND TIME that they gave a dark-skinned female Pyro claymore character split scaling with bad multipliers#i honestly do think colorism has some involvement for why they did Dehya dirty like but also this whole thing smells like capitalistic to me#there are 3.6 leaks abt a potential artifact set made specifically to fit Dehya not to mention her weapon being really good#but also extremely exclusive#it feels like mhy is trying out a new strategy where they purposely make certain hyped characters with weak kits only to indirectly ‘buff’#them later via artifacts or exclusive supports specifically to reach specific demographics of the community— aka fans of the hyped character#to stick around the game longer for those ‘buffs’ thus ensuring longer term play#it’s so blatant that this company is doing everything it can to make its community go with all its whims and moves#and i hate it so much. nobody likes feeling like they’re subjected to a company’s follies#i’m not that surprised tho bc it’s lowkey obvious that genshin is NOT mhy’s fav child fudhdhdjfjdjdk
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