#so the queue didnt last long

[kukekakuningaskris]

my city had a huge televised concert celebrating 30 years of estonia at eurovision that had like every (estonian) esc artist ever and when alika sang bridges i was taken back to joker out at helitehas and i remembered how sweet she was so now i need to watch videos of it again and cry

[chesacakeripper]

Getting older really is like Saturday At The Club Stone Cold Sober at 3am and then Wednesday Evening Having A Sit Down After Hoovering Because Back Hurty

[meatriarch]

im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

[daftpatience]

i want to post about comms because need money to live BUT my queue is still pretty long so i feel bad!!!! gah!!!!!

probably i will make a better post later but i really hate making these advertising posts grr bites rips shreds

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

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read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

[kooksbunnnn]

Lost cause? 1.5: how could you do this?

Previous chapter

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 

Warnings: angst, infidelity, heartbreak.

Words: 1.7k approx

Note: this scene takes place when Jungkook tells his hyungs that he cheated on Y/N.

Authors note: an anonymous ask wanted me to write the conversation between the guys when they got to know about Jungkook cheating on Y/N. Here you go!

___________________________________________

“Here” Namjoon offers a glass to Jungkook after pouring the hangover cure in it, awfully silent, both of them.

Jungkook rubs his eyes and cheeks with his sleeve, making Namjoons gaze travel to his bruised hand. Taking the glass from Namjoon’s hand, he bows his head slightly to thank him.

The broken vase on the floor now makes sense to him. Fortunately, he doesn’t have any cuts. Namjoon thinks. He has a bruise, though, which means he must’ve punched something the last night. Before he could ask Jungkook about it, he says,

“Where’s everyone else?”

“In their rooms freshening up.” Jungkook nodded as he swirled the liquid in the cup, sun rays illuminating his face and highlighting the tear stains on his cheeks.

“Um..kook?”

Jungkook hums sniffling as he keeps swirling the cure in the glass, avoiding eye contact, dreading the next words from his hyung’s lips.

“What is this?”

Jungkook looks up to see Namjoon holding his phone up to show him a text conversation.

Mia Aurora Club: hey, its mia. It was really nice meeting you yesterday after such a long time but

Mia Aurora Club: idk how to say this namjoon

Mia Aurora Club: there was this guy with you

Mia Aurora Club: he and I.. we did some stuff and then i found out that he was married. He was drunk and ig he didnt realize soon enough that he doesnt recognize me or idk what happened he just panicked and before i could ask he vanished

Mia Aurora Club: fuck i feel so bad please tell him im sorry and i wanted to aplogize to you as well. I wasnt trying to ruin someones marriage tbh. Sorry

“Hyung..” Jungkook’s voice cracks as he looks at his elder brother with glossy eyes. Namjoon sighs disappointedly, sitting beside him, Jungkook’s body bouncing up slightly due to Namjoon’s body weight.

‘What the fuck..” Namjoon breathes as he just sits next to Jungkook in silence, watching the carpeted floor as Jungkook sniffles, now that Namjoon observes closely he sees how his younger brother's eyes are swollen. The aircon whooshing in the background, making the air the only thing audible in the room.

------------------

“He what?!” Jimin almost yells out in the middle of the dining area where Namjoon and Hoseok call him out of the queue for the buffet and tell him about Jungkook and Mia.

“Jimin-ah.” Hoseok’s eyes widen in warning as he looks around reminding Jimin that they are around people.

“Do you think he would’ve told you if you didn’t go to his room to give him the medicine, hyung?” Jimin says his gaze narrowed with accusation, an empty plate in his hand.

“He called me to his room himself Jimin-ah, what is wrong with you?” Namjoon says sounding defensive.

“Don’t defend him hyung-“Jimin says exasperated.

“Jimin, I understand that you are mad but can you at least try to be in that room without saying all this? He knows he fucked up, we shouldn’t be the ones making him feel worse.” Namjoon says, as selfish as it may sound that he can't see his brother crying.

“Is he alone upstairs?” Hoseok asks Namjoon and he shakes his head in response.

“No, Tae and Jin Hyung are there.”

“I hope they beat his ass,” Jimin says folding his hands over his chest now placing the plate on a random table.

Everybody knew Jimin and Taehyung had been closest to you out of the gang, he has always seen you as his little sister. You and him attended the same uni, him being your senior which made him quite protective of you like a brother when he got to know about your relationship with Jungkook.

“What, he deserves it.” Jimin says as Namjoon looks at him with narrowed eyes and a ‘really?’ look.

“Guys, do they have boiled eggs?” Yoongi says as he casually passes by the three men standing there with tensed looks on their faces. When none of the guys answer, still busy in their conversation, he takes three steps back to face them.

“What? Why do you all look constipated?” Yoongi says, his face straight and nonchalant.

“Consti- hyung what the fuck?” Hoseok turns his head towards his elder brother and he chuckles unaware of the tensed situation.

“Something’s up, tell me, is it director Choi again-“

“Hyung, it's not-“ Namjoon says but gets his sentence cut off.

“Jungkook cheated on his wife,” Jimin says and all of a sudden there's silence. After 5 seconds of digesting the news, Yoongi shuts his eyes and sighs.

“Fuck.” cursing under his breath and leaves the room sprinting towards the elevator, the other three men tailing behind him filling him in with the details.

-------------------

“Jungkook, you should eat something.”

He just shakes his head refusing his eldest’s offer for the bread he buttered for him. he packs his stuff sniffling as all of his friends watch him huff around stuffing his stuff in the bag with different expressions on their faces.

“Jungkook..” Yoongi whispers, no response.

“Jungkook-ah.” Again. Nothing. He just runs around the room with tears flowing constantly down his cheeks.

“Jungkook-ah!” Yoongi grabs him by one of his arms and shakes his body wanting to shake his younger brother out of the trance .

“I fucked up hyung, I fucked up. I will lose her. She’ll go hyung. I was drunk, i didnt realize, i dint-” Jungkook says still shaking his head crying constantly.

“Yah!” Yoongi lets go of his arm and holds his face firmly making eye contact. Jungkook stops rambling but still struggles to breathe in his hold so Yoongi slaps him firmly like he was a child, trying to help him focus. The moment Jungkook sobs at the slap, Jin and Taehyung look away with a sigh and Jimin flinches.

Eyes welled up, they all felt helpless.

“Jungkook, breathe. Come to your fucking senses.” Yoongi says making Jungkook take deep breaths.

“We know Jungkook, we get it. Breathe.”

When Yoongi sees his pupils relax, he drops his hand from his face. When Jungkook finally focused on Yoongi’s face, his face filled with regret, sobbing he hugged the shorter male, Crying into his shoulder.

Yoongi looks at Jimin, who was looking at the scene with anger and pity at the same time.

Anger because of how Y/N is gonna be broken because of Jungkook and pity for her as well. Pity for their relationship and anger on the situation. Anger over how helpess they all feel and pity on how restless Jungkook feels. Although the anger and pity he felt for his little sister wins.

Yoongi warns Jimin as he senses what he is gonna say, but Jimin just rolls his eyes and asks,

“How could you kook?”

“Jimin.” Taehyung tries to stop his best friend whispering, requesting him to let it go for some time.

But Jimin ignores him and continues.

“huh? Jungkook? What about Y/N?”

At his wife's mention, Jungkook pulls back from the hug and Yoongi sighs stepping back towards the chair next to Namjoon.

“Hyung..” he sniffs

“What? What excuse do you have? Do you really have an explanation?”

“Hyung, I-“

Everyone watches as Jimin approaches Jungkook with anger, Hoseok sitting up as if expecting Jimin to punch the other.

“She loves you Jungkook, what the fuck?” Jimin whispers looking at the guy who just looks at him with guilt and tears in his eyes.

“Answer me, dammit?” He grabs Jungkook by his collar and pulls him closer asking him again through gritted teeth.

“Enough Jimin-ah.” Hoseok says as Jimin just asks questions, rambling about how much he fucked up.

“If she leaves you, it's on you.” He says jabbing his finger in his chest. “She is family kook, what the fuck were you thinking?” He pushes Jungkook away from him when Jin tries pulling Jimin back, his grip creating crimples on the younger's shirt.

Stepping away frustrated, he rakes a hand through his hair as Jungkook just nods, regaining balance.

“I don’t know hyung I-“

“Shut up. I don’t think you can explain yours-“

“Enough jimin-ah” Jin says pointedly and silence fills the room.

Jimin huffs frustrated and sits on the bed.

“I need to tell Y/N.” Jungkook says, his eyes tearing up but he nods affirming the decision to himself.

“Yes.” He says, picking up his phone, opening his recents to call.

“I need to tell her- wha- hyung give it back.” Jungkook yells all of a sudden.

“Are you crazy?” Taehyung asks and Jungkook notices how everyone is standing ready to grab his phone.

“Hyung give it back, I can't stay here for another day knowing she is waiting for me at home, for what? Hah..” he chuckles, sarcasm clear in his voice, mad at himself, “so that, so that I can break her heart? Give it back, hyung,”

“No! Are you crazy? do you think this is some kind of dinner plan you're gonna tell her randomly?” Taehyung says stretching his hand away from Jungkook.

“He is right, kook. You need to tell her face to face.” Hoseok says and Jungkook steps back shaking his head fresh tears streaming down his face.

“This is gonna break her, we know. But you need to tell her face to face.”

“You owe her that much,” Jimin says, his words stinging. His words were harsh but what he said was true.

Jungkook owed you that much.

“Think about it Jungkook, you can't fix this right now. If you call her-“ Jin says but Jungkook cuts him off.

“Argh! I can't take it, I need to fix this right now. I need to come clean, I need to fix this hyung!” Jungkook says pulling at his hair, sitting on the couch.

“I get it, Jungkook, we all do but…for the time being, we're gonna take your phone with us for now, yeah?” Namjoon looks at Taehyung, who nods and keeps the phone in his pocket.

“No, Hyung-“

"We have to pack and we can't risk it." Namjoon says looking at Jin and they both nod, understanding.

“Yeah, we have to check out in an hour,” Jin says, his voice low.

“Yeah, fine. See you all downstairs,” Jimin says, getting up and leaving immediately.

One by one, everybody leaves the room, Namjoon getting up at last, squeezing Jungkook’s shoulder.

While leaving the room Namjoon notices the outer wall of the bathroom having slight blood on it, he touches the blood and flinches when he notices how its not dry yet.

Sighing and looking over his shoulder at his little brother wiping his tears, he just wishes the best for him and Y/N.

He just hopes for the best.

___________________________________________

Next chapter. Main masterlist. Series masterlist.

@skzthinker @whoa-jo @aznstoner @aloverga @bids97 @slut4jeon @whipwhoops @bearr02 @gloriouscollectionpainter @jojowantstocry @jossabella88 @prajusstuff @chimchimmarie @gyukookswhore @kookiescutie @llallaaa @bbtsficrecs @farahmoonworld @cookysstuff @alessioayla @bamieeee03 @bonsaithings

[angelkissiies]

pancakes for dinner

abby anderson x reader

cw : love confessions , anxiety , hockey!abby , girly!reader (glitter n pink fan) , modern!au

wc : 2.5 (HOW DID IT GET THIS LONG)

a / n : i never meant for this to be so long but i adore a love confession n hockey!abby ,, anyways ! enjoy ! also if you see grammatical issues SQUINT i didnt proofread this !!!

based off of emotions i get from THIS song ,, and some ugly dude being mean to abs on twitter ..

You stared down at the blank sheets of paper, fluffy fountain pen twirling in between your fingers as you let your playlist restart. You had so much to say, that you almost didn’t couldn’t find a way to say it, the itching anxiety pulling at your heart as you glanced at the clock. ‘7:38 PM’. Her flight was landing in a couple hours, you internally kicked yourself for waiting so long, but finally made the first move to start writing. 

‘Bee, Abby, 

This seems extremely silly right now and I kinda want to throw up at the idea of you actually seeing this’ 

You let out a sigh, striking out the line before continuing. 

‘I need you to know some things, some things I've been meaning to tell you for, well, forever. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember and as much as I don't want to risk losing that, I can’t not tell you. I’ve been very clear about my sexuality and you’ve been so supportive of me– but I can't let you set me up with any more of your hockey friends (you’re probably wondering why this is soo important but just keep reading.)

Don’t get me wrong, Nora was a lovely date– opened the car door for me and everything, but it just wasn’t right. I know you and as you’re reading this you’re probably shaking your head and muttering something about ‘you just didn’t give her a chance,’ but just stay with me here. 

I have gone on dates and I have tried all the dating apps, I’ve even had my fair share of hookups–

but Abby, I can’t stop thinking about you. 

From the day I met you, I think I've always known. You have been all I've wanted and I really understood that this year, I mean seeing you hooking up with all of those girls made me jealous– as stupid as it sounds, and no, It wasn’t because they were prettier than me or something, but it was because they had you.’ 

Your stomach churned as you halted, taking an unsteady breath, your finger moving to skip the song that had come on– ‘Heather’ by Conan Gray being in bad taste for the moment. You had the urge to rip the paper apart, hiding all evidence of the confession of your love, and nestle into your bunk bed– waiting for the inevitable knock on your door when she arrived back, begging to chat about her travels. Though, you remained still– chewing on the flesh of your lip before forcing yourself to continue. 

‘I’m saying this now because I fear, if not now then never. Your absence gave me a chance to figure out my feelings about you without worrying about you accidentally finding out. I needed to overcome my fear of losing you and came to realize that I can't, so writing this all out is seriously freaking me out. ‘ 

A ringing from your phone made you jump, the music pausing briefly as you checked the caller ID, the air caught in your lungs as you realized who it was. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” You chanted, staring at the little picture of her that accompanied the tense ringing in the now quiet room. ‘Shit!” You huffed, at last, letting your finger swipe across the screen to accept before placing her on speaker. 

“Hey!” Her groggy voice rang out, accompanied by the loud bustle of what sounded like a crowd. “Did I wake you up or something?” 

You let out a small, confused noise before answering– hand shaking slightly. “No, no. Just doing some work. What about you, you sound like shit.” You teased, taking a deep breath to gain your composure. The last thing you needed was to queue her on to anything, letting her remain clueless for as long as you possibly could. 

Abby snorted, rolling her eyes as she pulled her heavy suitcase behind her through the crowds of people. “No, just tired, they managed to get us on an earlier plane at the last minute– I had planned to sleep all day before the flight but surprise, surprise.” She hummed, watching as her team slowly began to disappear out of the double doors. “Anyways, because I'm getting back so early, I wanted to see if you’d be up for a movie tonight.” 

You felt time slow down, eyes shooting to the unfinished letter on your desk, you could barely find it in yourself to respond– feeling borderline dizzy at the rapid thumping of your heart, “Y-yeah, that sounds great. What are we watching?” She wasn’t supposed to be back for hours, and now you're getting told that she was already here? That you had to finish your declaration of love, now?! 

“I was thinking we could see that new avatar movie, what was it called?” 

“Way of water.” You spoke quietly, putting your pen down so hard on the sheet of paper– you were almost sure it was gonna rip. “That sounds great, when will you be here? I need to get ready.” Your pen began scribbling down the rest of your thoughts, handwriting less neat than it had been before. You didn’t know if you cared though, the thought of being caught in the middle of doing this was more mortifying than being articulate. 

“Say..” Abby trailed off, pulling up her hoodie sleeve to peer at her watch. 8:20 PM. “Does 8:45 sound good? Airports not far from campus.” 

You could’ve choked, forcing yourself to nod– even though she couldn’t see you. “Yeah, perfect. I’ll meet you downstairs, I’m sure you wanna change.” 

“Finally, a girl who gets me.” She joked, pushing the double doors open, and glancing around for the team bus. A chill rolled down her spine as she pushed the varsity jacket closed, blocking any more chill. “I've gotta go, I'm getting on the bus– but I’ll see you soon.” 

“See you soon!” 

You practically threw the pen down, doing a quick once over of the letter before folding it neatly– placing it inside its designated pink envelope. Your heart was racing, making you sweat slightly, as you slid out from your chair. You’d planned this all out so perfectly, yet, here you were– sliding on your crocs as you exited your dorm in an attempt to make this confession as seamless as possible. You were terrified of the possibility of her saying she didn’t feel the same, terrified that she wouldn't want to be friends anymore, terrified that she was still in love with her ex. Just terrified. 

The hallway passed in flashes, your mind too preoccupied to take in anything else as you speed walked to her door. It was as it usually was, empty, with the exception that her roommate had drawn a little moth in the corner of the whiteboard next to the number indicator. She was a neat girl, Ellie, but it always confused you at how they’d come to be assigned together– seeing as Abby was majoring in sports medicine and Ellie in physics. You shook the thoughts away, practically beating down the door with how hard you knocked. 

A few moments passed and you heard the soft pattering of feet on the carpet before the door swung open, a very disgruntled girl standing before you. “Dude, I literally have an exam tomorrow, what do you want?” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. From all the times she'd met you, she was used to the intrusion– almost finding it funny how often you came by. “Abby isn’t here.” 

You nodded, pushing the envelope forward, watching as she looked at it and then back at you. “Can you put this on her bed? Just leave it there, that's all.” You gushed, glancing at the digital clock on her desk before dropping it into her now outstretched hand. 8:33 PM. “I have to go, so just please make sure she gets it okay?” Your feet were already moving, taking large backward steps into the hall before turning on your heel– leaving a slightly confused, slightly curious Ellie peering down the hall as you disappeared around the corner. 

The door to your dorm was still slightly ajar, making it easier for you to slip back in and begin changing out of your – what you’d begun to call – lesbian pajamas. The reason was that they had little hearts in varying shades of pink and orange dotting the fabric. By the time you’d had a chance to even pull on your shoes, It was already pushing 8:40PM– meaning that any second Abby would be passing your dorm to go change and you’d be practically bouncing off the walls with pent-up anxiety. 

Abby trudged up the stairwell, making a mental note to email the maintenance guys about the elevator, her suitcase hovering just above to not smack against the concrete. She tossed her braid over her shoulder, using her free hand to push the metal door open, stepping out into the warmth of the hallway. A soft sigh left her mouth as she paused, eyes fluttering to the door that bore your name in glitter peel-and-stick letters, a small smile pulling at her chapped lips– internally debating on stopping to talk to you, but coming to the conclusion that she’d just come back in a couple minutes. It always popped into her mind, upon thinking about you, she practically had to drag herself away from you to get anything done. 

As she passed by your door, she heard soft music– particularly a song she’d heard many, many times before. It made her heart skip slightly, upon the realization that you’d actually started listening to the songs she recommended, that being more than a small victory in her books. She glanced up at your whiteboard, it being pretty empty besides the few hearts you’d forgotten to erase from valentines day, before uncapping a marker to leave a tiny drawing of two girl stick figures in the mass of hearts. 

You were lying face down on your pillows, biting back the screams that tempted your lips as you waited for the alarm on your phone to sound– the idea of seeing Abby making your stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. The words of ‘Pancakes for Dinner’ by Lizzy Mcalpine permeated your thoughts, making you sigh aloud, she made it seem so easy. Too easy. You just wanted to say all of what you were feeling to her, see her face when she realized, and know instantly whether or not your friendship was over. The waiting made it all so much worse. You sat up, lifting your phone just as the annoying beeping started, making you groan. 

The music stopped as you swiped off of the app, pulling yourself up to sit on the edge of your bed– sliding your crocs over the pink fluffy socks you’d slipped on in spite of the dropping temperatures. “You can do this. You can definitely do this.” You whispered, coming to stand before grabbing the dorm keys from your bedside table. You couldn’t back out now, though you desperately wanted to, shuffling out of your room and into the hallway– already missing the comfort of your room. 

Ellie had greeted Abby at the door, the realization of the letter finally clicking in her head, an annoying smug grin on her lips. It was beyond confusing for the blonde, giving her an odd look as she let her suitcase fall on the floor in front of her bed. “What is wrong with you?” She finally asked, digging through her drawer, feeling the auburns eyes burning a hole into the back of her head. “You’re being weird, er, weirder than usual.” 

“Nothing, nothing. You have, uh, mail.” She coughed, covering a small chuckle, turning back to her computer as she sat down– keeping an eye on the pink envelope sitting perfectly on the dark surface of her bedspread. 

Abby knitted her brows together, following the girl's gaze to an envelope she automatically recognized as yours. How did she know? Well, you were the only girl on campus who used pink envelopes and she didn’t think that another could have manifested in the short time she was away. She instantly lost all interest in what she was doing, practically tripping over her bags to get to it. “Did she say what it was about?” She asked, turning the little thing in her hands, noticing the little star sticker you’d used to seal the envelope. 

Ellie shook her head, putting her hands up as if to say ‘i dunno’ before looking back down to her work– leaving Abby to tear open the pink paper hastily. 

You sat outside on the bench, tapping the toes of your shoe onto the pavement as you waited, jumping at every noise of the door– hoping, praying, that she even came. It had been so long since you’d felt this kind of scared, less schoolgirl more double homicide, as you pondered what could possibly come of this. The best case scenario being she felt the same way, and the worst case scenario was that she hated your guts and went around telling everyone that you were just some weird girl with a crush on her– that wasn’t likely though, seeing as that wasn't Abby. She’d never be so harsh. The reality was that she’d let you down easy, slowly but surely ghosting you in the process. You didn’t know what scared you more, good or bad news. 

The loud squeaking of the hinges drove you from your thoughts, making you glance behind you, a strained breath catching in your throat as you saw her– glancing around before she saw you. “Abby, hey,--” You began, standing to meet her in the middle, hands wringing nervously behind you. 

The blonde didn’t speak, her hands coming up to cup your cheeks, dipping down to press a needy kiss to your lips. Nothing had ever been so important, the letter being more than enough to send her practically flying out of her dorm to find you, she’d been waiting for the day she’d come to admit her feelings out loud– though as she felt you melt into her, hands now bunched in her jacket, she knew words were unnecessary. You’d been what she wanted this entire time, all the girls and the parties and the one-night stands being in spite of her budding feelings. She’d been trying to get you off her mind, protecting the friendship that meant more than anything to her. Your words flashed through her mind, making her smile slightly against your lips. 

You pulled away, taking a much-needed gulp of air, before looking up at the burly woman. The light was blocked out by her head, making a kind of halo around her. She looked beautiful, she always looked beautiful, but this was different. “Abby..” You breathed, eyes meeting her own. “Are you–?” 

Abby nodded, using her thumbs to caress the blushed flesh of your cheeks. “I am.” 

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[vikersund]

Hi! I hope this post won't flop </3

first of all I wanted to finally reveal myself on this platform - many of you know me as Himbeertee_ on tiktok and twitter, Hello! Yes, I'm also here :P

I felt like last few days were like a fever dream - so I decided to write a summary/recap of my journey to Stozice.

It was not my first Joker Out show, last month I was in Żalec and both times I traveled by train and bus, so if anyone wonders how to get to Slovenia from Poland - the cheapest way is by Flixbus, but the fastest is by plane. I spent 5 hours in train and 11 hours in bus and it was only one way ride.

Me and my friend arrived at the arena around 4pm and we were 24/25 in the queue and we ended up at barricade in front of Kris, thanks to long catwalk and very long barricade. (I wanted to be at Kris' side, because duuuh i'm a Kris girlie).

If it comes to new merch - there were new winter beanies, new shirts, hoodies, socks, UM and Demoni CD's, condoms, new notebook (juhuhu hahaha), new tote bags and if you ask me... well.. those shirts didn't look good at least for me, but the rest of it was fine. I bought baby boos socks, because (to the unpopular opinion) I love the name xD

If it comes to the show alone, I will try to describe few songs. As you might have seen on twitter I managed to get the setlist (which was leaked at least day before - and unfortunately i saw some of it so I didnt experience the surprise).

The live-from-backstage intro was so cool, like I had chills, the screen was turning from the backstage to black screen or to joker out sign with the music that made your heart beat to it, it definitely built an atmosphere, we saw Jo getting ready to rock the stage, Kris leading the 5 of them to the stage from backstage, then they finally came from behind drums, which was such a cool entrance!

First song was Sunny Side of London - and now I understand that they picked it as an opener because of the "welcome" at the beginning, but when I first heard it i was kinda sceptical why is this the first song. People from the brass band joined them for the iconic balcan solo (dare I say - Kris outwhored himself during the solo).

Then we screamed for the record and we beat it, but honestly I think that the result should be higher, but because it was such an open space, the device didnt gather the sound as good as in smaller venues.

Then gola and bele sanje - honestly don't remember much of it because I was enjoying myself, maybe a little too much, but the guitar transition from bele sanje to plastika was sooooo good.

Plastika oh plastika! This song is made for concerts, everyone were screaming their lungs off and Bojan was everywhere, including the cat walk.

Proti toku - what can I say other than justice for Proti Toku! Like i dont understand why they abandoned this song at the shows...

As you already know I was at Kris' side and I had the best view on him, let me tell you. This man didn't hold back during dopamin, his moves were electric and there should be another twitter account "Kris shuffles to:"

Padam - Bojan sang the song laying on the catwalk for the entire length of the song and for a moment I was so confused where he went, because I didn't see him at first.

Then after Padam we had a small break, that included screenings of pre-eurovision clips from their vlogs and during that everyone was lying on the stage (not sure about Jure tho).

Then demoni happened and the Iconic scream was... well... demonic xD Bojan ended up almost on all fours in front of 12k audience. You're welcome or something.

Katrina - is another song which was made to being played on stage. I loved the red and white lights especially, bojan was very slutty and we were introduced to releasing fumes from the pyro stuff (not real pyro or fire on their show in Stozice).

ASTP - AMAZING intro played by a dude with trumpet, I had chills, Bojan was sitting on his knees on the stage, listening to it. I'll try to upload it to tiktok later! It is one of my fav songs. Great vocals from Bojan and Kris, the second one was very slutty af during the song (who is surprised at this point?). No Janace ending, Jan ended the song playing at the end of catwalk, nice moment between Nace and Bojan.

Omamljeno Telo - well this is the only JO song that I am not that much a fan of, but they definitely delivered their perfomance, especially when everyone went to the catwalk. We had Kris/Nace moment during the song.

Kot Srce Ki Kri Poganja - will you banish me If I tell you that I have never heard any of their unreleased songs?

Anyway I LOVED THIS SONG, can they release it on new album please? I already knew that Martin will join them because I saw pics from backstage before the show, but I was surprised to see Matic there. This songs slaps and I fell in love with the vibe martin gave while playing the bass. I couldnt stop staring at him, he was magnetic and so happy to play with others. I might cry a little when Nace gave him his bass. I loved how everyone was hugging each other before and after the song. Such a heartwarming moment, even if Martin doesnt play anymore, you could definitely see that he is still part of the family <3

Metulji - amazing perfomance, again they delivered, love the song, also amazing Jan solo at the end of the song, kinda improvised i think? At least I have never heard those sounds before.

Vse Kar Vem - well, you know who I was focused on xD I guess I have a new Vse Kar Vem iconic video for you xD

NGVOT - before the song I was wondering if they will do Tavastia 2.0 with ngvot and the scream i I let out when I saw that Bojan was far from the mic, far enough to be late to start singing the song if he had to, and then I turned to look at Kris and I already knew. This is all I've been asking for. I'm so glad that Kris is more comfortable to sing the first verse, his voice was more relaxed, less shaky than in Tavastia, I loved the way he sang "ti pa barvo las" the way Bojan does. But I still think he has to work a little bit on his voice, because I know he CAN sing (from other videos). I wonder if they will leave this song as a duet for other shows in the future or If it was like one-time thing.

Vem Da Gres - all I remember was Nace on our side and how handsome he looked. I'm not a Nace girlie, but I can definitely see why others are, and his new hair and the outfit... asdfgrew

Ne Bi Smel - this time Jan joined our side and he had a nice moment with Bojan

Ona - Another time when men from brass band joined and it was the song which had changed arrangement. I loved it. the whole vibe of the song stayed the same, but the brass instruments elevated it. (If i think about any fuck ups during the show - it happened here - the mic of the Saxophone guy didnt work at first, I've heard him from the front row, but idk if people in the back have heard him). During this song they also showed me and my friend on the screen and i cant stop thinking about how the hell it happened xD Now i am immortal in joker out stozice lore xD

Tokio - honestly don't remember what was happening - probably I was just screaming and singing.

Umazane Misli - i loved it. I LOVED IT. The way Bojan was demanding the audience who and when should they sing, and then he came down to us and let 2 people sing, and he received the THREE KAKSI ANANAS LONKERO shirt and he loved it so much, he was so smiley and took this shirt with him on the stage.

Novi val - I almost cried. This is my fav song, and thanks to Joker Out Subs and Spela the project came true, the coloful lights flashed beautifully above boy's heads. We and them were touched and it was such a special moment. At the beginning of Novi Val Jure came to our side and we could see his outfit from the closer proximity, and dare I say it was second best after Kris'.

Last but not least - Carpe Diem. After novi val they left the stage, but everyone knew it wasnt over. The break was too long and It just clicked in my head that what if they are changing into their Eurovision clothes. AND THEY DID. I just predicted it seconds before it happened. It was unreal - like i just travelled back in time 5 months.

Overall it was the best night of my life. Everything was perfect. The lights were amazing. The stage was amazing. Clothes - god, the amount of details on each outfit! Personally I think Kris and Jure had the best outfits. I couldnt really see Jan and Nace outfit details, but the looked GOOD. But if I have to complain - not a fan of detachable sleeves on Bojan's shirt.

They all delivered their performances. Not a single mistake - i am so impressed because thats a skill.

We all agree that Kris outdid himself that night. The way he moved, the way he sang, the way he was SO CONFIDENT. Like he was born to be in that exact moment.

I also loved every single interaction between boys, the group ones, or the doubles. Maybe there was no Jan and Nace astp ending but they had few moments. It was so nice to see Jan and Bojan jamming together, Kris and Nace doing their thing, Bojan and Kris' little shenanigans and even Jure and Jan had their moment when Jan ran to him at the beginning of the show.

I also love how they had movie-like credits. Everyone from their crew was credited, every person who worked on the show, team of photographers etc.

Other thing was how nice it was to being supplied with water all the time. The people behind barricade were giving us cups with water all the time, and even at the end of the show we got whole bottles.

Please don't take this post as a proper review - these are just my thoughts of the show <3

[planetcruspy]

VIDCON AFTER THOUGHTS: a review of my first and sadly final day of vidcon anaheim

SO I'm just making this because I have a lot of thoughts AND for anyone who didn't get to go this year who wants to know what the experience is like! This is going to be really long post so apologies for that :3

Registration was pretty easy for me, but I also could just ask literally anyone for help if I was confused.

FIRST MEET AND GREET: MR. TELEVISION aka AIMSEY TV

The queue had 5 lines, the first ones being those with disabilities, so that they could go first. I was in the fourth (or fifth depending) line. The wait wasn't very long, plus we could sit on the floor. They sadly couldn't sign anything due to time, BUT gifts were allowed and there was a little box to put them in. OKAY SO the actually meeting and greeting was VERY quick, infact I think aimsey made a tweet about how they had 20 minutes to spare when they thought the time was up. This being my first ever meet and greet I was SO NERVOUS, as was probably everyone in the line. This being said ITS OKAY TO BE NERVOUS. The best thing to do is plan out everything you want to do and say in the line or even before you arrive! I would make sure you can get everything done, including poses, in under 15 seconds. NOW don't be like me a rush so much you regret it. Here's how my turn went:

ME: Haiii

armsey: hiii you look amazing :000

mE: thankss! :3

oh yeah i gave them a hug

and then we went 👍👍 and ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ and i gave them another hug and then i ran away as fast as i could/j

I really wish I did more, like chatted some and I also thought of some killer poses the day after, but it was my first time like I said and i was nervous so i dont blame me! BUT they were super nice and gave great hugs too!! By far the best M&G

Next I jumped right into another line for ranboos meet and greet!

The wait was the second longest wait out of the three, but I talked to some awesome people in the line so it wasnt that bad. Plus by that time I was a little tired and dehydrated so that didnt help the wait feel any shorter lmao. I planed literally two poses I think and those were just thumbs up and me sucker punching them in the face :3 Other that I honestly couldnt think that good with the nervousness paired with the dehydration and shortness of breath from my binder. AND QUICK DISCLAIMER: DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT WEAR A BINDER THAT IT TOO SMALL FOR YOU, I had a new one waiting at home for me and the smaller one was sadly the only one I had. I also didnt bind at all that week except for that day because I knew how small it was. ALSO DRINK WATER, BRING WATER BOTTLES. I wasn't that badly dehydrated but I still made the mistake of not bringing a water bottle. SO please please bring some water with you, Especially at conventions. Disclaimer over :) SO heres how it went

The photographer was having trouble with the camera (or maybe not just something held him up) so he didnt get to scan my wristband right away, so I just stood there awkwardly for a minute lol. And then he scanned it and then I didn't hear the thing go off immediately so I stopped AGAIN.

Me: Hiii

Ran: Hello! :D

mE: so erm can we do thumbs up?

RRAN: yuh!

Me: and then can I like punch you..

Ran: sure! lets do it

and then i said my goodbye and ran

ran: Nice to meet you!!

THOUGHTS:

I DIDNT ASK FOR A HUG AND IM SO PISSED ACTUALL SOBBING ABOUT IT

I really wanted to talk more but I got in my head about time and stuff and ended up not saying much of anything 😭 And of course I thought of better poses the day after. But again all on my part and it was lovely to get to meet them ^ ^

NOW my third and last M&G was Jack manifold!

This was probably the longest wait out of the three, since there was also someone finishing up their meet and greet when we got there. As well as he was signing things too, which I am so happy about! so I didn't mind the wait.

By now I had loosened up, got something to eat, so I was feeling a lot better. Heres how it went!

Me: HIII

J munee: Helloo :)

me: Thank you sm for being here! (and then something about all the people)

Jack: Its alright!

Then we did thumbs up, mewed like gods and um

WHICH TOOK HIM LIKE 4 TRIES TO GET IT RIGHT BTW

ANYWAYS Then he signed my House of Leaves book! So awesome, big thanks to jack for staying to sign things and chat with everyone!

SO that was my big post talking about vidcon and my thoughts. A big reason why I did this was to also process everything myself lmao. Um thanks for reading lol, sorry this was long tbh I was debating on posting this for a minute cuz of cringe but i am free

[ursogoldenn]

omg i lowkey forgot about this blog, i havent posted in a while even the queue died out i think lmao

i think i should just say about today is that ummm... so zel and millie are gone. of course im happy for them and im glad that theyre focusing on themselves and are gonna be happy but omg im gonna miss them so much :(( def didnt cry when i first saw millie's post 😅😅 then i decided that i should distract myself and opened netflix to finish dead boy detectives but the last two episodes were FUCKING DEPRESSING AND NOW IM EVEN SADDER but im fine i think. ill be fine. we all have lives outside of tumblr and im so glad that people are doing what's best for them :)

but ughh how i hate school and this time of year close to exams and finals where everyone is busy and also just winter and the mental stuff that comes with the cold season </3 i do hope that everyone stays safe and takes care of themselves. tho selfishly i do wish people would just take a break from tumblr instead of deactivating, i completely understand.

this wasn't meant to get long. but wow. i just... didn't expect that when i woke up today.

any moots who see this ilysm and i always will <33

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Girl He Left Behind [Part One]

Fandom: American Actor, RPF, Elvis Presley, Elvis Movie 2022

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Gladys Presley, Vernon Presley, Minnie May ‘Dodger’ Presley, Red West, Sonny West, Gene Smith, Billy Smith, Original Female Characters, Colonel Tom Parker, Billy Smith, Marci Cunningham, Steve Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Mary Jenkins, Alan Fortas, Marty Lacker, Original Male Characters, Mona Goodwin, Joe Goodwin

Word Count: 4100 // Rating: Mature

Summary: When Elvis returns home to Graceland from the Army he’s followed by the headlines ‘The Girl He Left Behind’ but what the media don’t know is that Priscilla wasn’t the first. No, that title belongs to someone Elvis will never forget.

Tags/ Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Poverty, Friends to Lovers, 1950s Elvis, Bad Parenting, Surprise Surprise the Colonel Is a Colossal Prick, Parental Loss, Grief, Fun Fairs, Kissing, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Movie Nights, Arguing, Tension, Denial of Feelings, Age Gap Romance, Underage, Addison is 17 Elvis is 22, Guilt, Betrayal, Extortion, Blackmail, Jealous, Army Elvis, American Draft, US Army, Lying, Time Shift with Elvis moving to Memphis, Flashbacks, Caught, 

Notes: This is gonna be several parts and its gon be sad so don’t say I didnt warn ya

LINK TO ALL PARTS // AO3 LINK // PINTEREST LINK‘Come on EP!’ a voice echoed through the crowd.

‘I’m comin’,’ Elvis chuckled as he threw his arm around his date and followed in the direction his friends were headed. The group looked like any other, an energetic bunch of boys with whatever ladies they had sweet-talked into accompanying them for the night and so long as Elvis kept his head down it would remain that way. He supposed it was foolish of him to be here, after all he was a teenage heartthrob and his fan base was mostly made up of teenage girls so going to a funfair a few days before school was due to be back in session and kids from all over were going to be enjoying their last taste of freedom seemed a little stupid. Yet he didn’t care, because as he walked down the makeshift street of the fair watching the patrons have fun whilst the smell of doughnuts and candyfloss wafted by, he couldn’t help but feel happy. It didn’t hurt that Cindy, his date for the night, had spent most of their ride on the tunnel of love making out with him either. As they neared the end of the lane Elvis caught a glimpse of the ride his friends had picked to do next and sighed, the ghost train. He rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of it but as he did, he felt Cindy lean a little closer to him as she noticed where the group was headed.

As they joined the back of the queue in an unorganised huddle she leaned into him and said, ‘do we really have to go this?’ ‘Oh come on Cindy it ain’t that bad,’ Gene smiled as he turned to face her. ‘Yeah,’ Red said, ‘and we need someone who makes Billy look brave in comparison.’ ‘Hey!’ Billy said elbowing Red in the arm which made Red grab him in a headlock earning a laugh from everyone. ‘Elvis,’ she said uneasily making his laugh trail off as he looked down at her. She was watching him, her big blue eyes wide and her mouth drawn down in a pout. ‘It’ll be a fine baby. You’ve got me right next to ya,’ he smiled hoping to reassure her which he seemed to manage as she thought about it for a second and then nodded.

Whilst the group moved slowly up the line the group chatted idly, though admittedly the focus of their conversation seemed to be whether or not Billy would scream, until finally they were at the front of the line and Elvis was handing over a $5 bill so that he and his friends could ride alone. Whilst everyone scrambled to get a good seat Elvis steered Cindy towards the back hoping that being furthest away from the action would help her calm down a little but as the carts rolled into the dark she grabbed a hold of him, allowing him to put his arms around her for comfort. Fortunately, the ride was over in less than five minutes and though there were a few jump scares here and there it was nothing that would get the heart beating faster. For Elvis at least. 

‘What a rip,’ Junior said as he led the group down the off-ramp, ‘25 cents apiece just for a couple of pop-up ghouls and a mechanical laugh. ‘It was alright,’ Gene shrugged. ‘Yeah, you weren’t sitting next to Billy though,’ Sonny chuckled. ‘I knew he’d be scared!’ Red chuckled. ‘I was not!’ Billy protested. ‘Sure you weren’t,’ Sonny said rolling his eyes. ‘Just a good job you were wearing brown pants, right?’ Red ribbed earning another attack from Billy. As the two locked in a little wrestle, Elvis watched on chuckling to himself, though as he looked down at his date he found she wasn’t enjoying the scene as much as he was. In fact, she was white as a sheet and trembling a little causing Elvis to stop in his tracks which meant everyone else did too.

‘Everything okay EP?’ Sonny asked. ‘Yeah,’ Elvis said, ‘I think we just need a minute, right honey?’ ‘Right,’ Cindy said with a weak smile which brightened as he slipped his hand into hers. ‘I think I saw some benches back there,’ Darla, Gene’s date, said. Elvis nodded and they started walking to a small collection of picnic benches by a food stand which were fortunately deserted enough that all of the group could grab a seat. Whilst everyone sat down Elvis ordered Red and Sonny to get a selection of snacks and sodas before he slipped in beside Cindy, his arm going around her in an attempt to make her feel better.

Fortunately, after twenty minutes or so of relaxing the colour returned to Cindy’s face and though it wasn’t clear to Elvis whether it was due to the cooling night air, his attempt at comfort or stacks of sugary goodness they’d made their way through nevertheless he was happy she’d come around. In fact, she’d bounced back with such vigour she was on top form, relaying the story of how the pair of them had met earlier that week.

‘And then that lil guy, what’s his name,’ Cindy said. ‘Earl,’ Elvis said. ‘Yeah him. He’s all up in Elvis’ face and he’s angry, like, steam coming out of his ears mad, and I just say ‘look sugar-’’ ‘Are you done with that?’ a voice said snapping everybody’s attention away from Cindy as Elvis’ gaze fell upon the voice in question. It belonged to a girl, a few years younger than him no doubt, and quite the looker. Her hazel eyes flicked to him for a moment before they landed back on Cindy whose empty Pepsi bottle her hand was hovering over. ‘What?’ Cindy snapped, evidently feeling better. ‘I said are you done with that?’ the girl repeated without hesitation. ‘I’m in the middle of a conversation,’ Cindy said. ‘And I’m in the middle of bussin’ tables,’ the girl said pointedly, ‘so are you done?’ ‘Do you have to be so rude?’ Cindy said. ‘Do you have to keep ignoring my question?’ the girl challenged earning an involuntary snigger from Elvis who masked it as a cough as Cindy’s glare fell on him.

‘We’re finished,’ Billy said uncomfortably from across the table earning a series of nods from everyone else as they attempted to dispel the palpable tension in the air. Cindy however didn’t seem to feel as uncomfortable as the rest of the group, in fact she seemed irritated as her mouth fell into a tight line as she stood up and climbed off the bench, scowling at the girl before she stormed off. Feeling it was better for him to side with his partner than the waitress Elvis scrambled to follow her, though he had to admit their little tiff had amused him. The girl could hold her own, that much was evident, and Elvis couldn’t deny it got him a little hot under the collar. Not that he had much time to dwell on that fact as he tried to catch up to Cindy who didn’t seem to be slowing down as she stormed down the alley between the stalls.

‘Baby slow down,’ Elvis said grabbing her by the elbow as he reached her, stopping her in her tracks. ‘Who does she think she is?!’ Cindy scoffed, ‘we’re paying her wages! I oughta go back there and give her a real piece of my mind.’ ‘And what good will that do?’ Elvis said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, a pout on her face

‘I suppose,’ Cindy said.

‘Best just to leave it be,’ Elvis said pulling away from her as the rest of the group finally caught up.

‘Well, she was pretty rude,’ Darla said, coming to stand next to Cindy. ‘Some people have no manners,’ Gene agreed as he threw his arm around her. There was a murmur of agreement from the group, but Elvis ignored them. He supposed they were right, the girl could’ve been a little nicer, but he figured working in a cheap polyester dress in the blistering heat and serving bratty kids or rowdy teenagers might get him a little unfriendly too. However, since he didn’t feel like debating the topic, should it cause his date to sour, he made the executive decision to change the topic.

‘How about we head to the hall of mirrors?’ Elvis said, earning a nod from Cindy before she leaned in to kiss him. He allowed her to but pulled back quicker than she anticipated causing her to frown. Elvis pretended he didn’t notice and instead he turned away from her and announced that they should turn back to head to the house of mirrors earning mutters of agreement. However, they were barely ten feet down the lane before Cindy stopped in her tracks forcing Elvis to follow suit. ‘Everything alright EP?’ Red asked, noticing his friend had slowed down. ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘we’ll catch you up.’ ‘Alright,’ Red nodded before he turned and carried on down the way, joining the rest of their friends. ‘What is it?’ he asked looking at her. ‘My purse,’ she said, ‘I’ve not got it.’ ‘Where did you last have it?’ Elvis asked. ‘When we were sat down. I mustn’t have picked it up,’ she said. Elvis fought the urge to say ‘when you pitched a fit over nothing’ and instead replied with, ‘how about I go and look for it?’ 

Cindy nodded and unlooped her arm from his so he could head back the way they came. By the time he got back to the benches they were deserted and all of their trash had been cleared away which meant that if the purse was there it would’ve been found by now. Still in an effort to seem proactive he surveyed the area, looking under the benches and around the trash can to see if he could spot it. Still nothing. Not wanting to return to his date empty handed he walked towards the stand they had gotten their food from in the hopes it had been handed in. It was essentially a wooden hut, crammed with various kitchen appliances, and manned by a wizened old guy who looked so at ease back there it wouldn’t have surprised Elvis if he’d been serving hot dogs his entire life. His striped shirt was covered in grease and his glasses so thick that when Elvis stepped up to the counter he doubted he’d even know if he was a man let alone who he was.

‘What can I get you?’ the man said. ‘Uh, actually, I was wondering if anyone had handed in my girl’s purse?’ Elvis said. ‘A purse?’ the man said, ‘I don’t think so.’ ‘Ah, okay, never mind,’ Elvis said with a smile. ‘I’ll keep my eye out!’ the man said earning a chuckle from Elvis. ‘I’m sure you will sir,’ Elvis smirked, ‘thanks anyway.’ ‘At least you tried,’ Elvis thought as he moseyed back up the alley. Yet as he got to the spot where he had left Cindy he found there was a throng of people crowded around watching something. As he got a little closer, he could see who was at the forefront, Cindy and the waitress. He pushed through the crowd, earning a few grumbles as he did, until he was at the centre. ‘Like I’d want that tatty old thing anyway,’ the girl said rolling her eyes. ‘You couldn’t even afford one of these!’ Cindy sneered, ‘why else would you steal it.’ ‘I didn’t steal anything!’ the girl challenged. ‘You mean you didn’t think you’d get caught,’ Cindy scoffed. ‘What’s going on?’ Elvis said though the gist of events was already clear. ‘I caught her stealing my purse!’ Cindy said waving her now recovered purse in front of him as if it were some kind of proof. ‘I was taking it to lost property,’ the girl said as her gaze fell on him. He looked at her for a second only to find a flicker in her eyes of something he couldn’t put his finger on though he didn’t have time to dwell on it as the pair of them were both eyeing him meaning his gaze kept flitting between them as if he was watching a high-stakes tennis match. Though before he could say anything a booming voice came through the crowd ordering people to make way until eventually an older gentleman appeared opposite him. He was a stocky man with thinning hair and beady eyes that Elvis instinctively took a dislike to. He stood in between the girls looking at them both.

‘What’s happening here?’ he said in a stern voice which softened as he noticed Elvis standing there, ‘Mr. Presley…I had no idea you were visiting my carnival.’ ‘And he might never do again,’ Cindy jumped in making Elvis wince. People were looking more closely now, his normal carefree night ebbing away by the minute. ‘I am sorry to hear that sir,’ the man said, ‘how can I help?’ ‘Your waitress was stealing from us,’ Cindy said folding her arms across her chest. ‘Mr. Ackers, I swear-’ the girl started, her voice panicky, but the man held a stubby finger up silencing her immediately. She fell quiet but Elvis could see her temper seething beneath the surface. ‘Now I’m sure there’s an explanation for this Ma’am and I assure you I will deal with it,’ Mr Ackers said. ‘Mr Ackers-’ the girl repeated but he merely turned his head and snapped, ‘my office. Now.’ 

Elvis watched as her jaw clenched in an attempt to restrain herself. Her eyes fell on him for a moment, watching him with disgust, for what he didn’t know. Maybe he should say something. After all, if Cindy had left her purse and she happened to pick it up was it really stealing? Maybe the girl was telling the truth, but before he could say anything she disappeared into the crowd.

‘As I said, I am deeply sorry for your inconvenience,’ Mr Ackers said as he moved to stand in between the pair wrapping his arms around each of them as he led them away from the now quickly dispersing crowd, ‘please let me do something to improve your visit to us. A complimentary ride or something.’ ‘Actually,’ Elvis said pulling out of the man’s grasp and pulling Cindy with him, ‘I think we’re just going to go find our friends.’ ‘Right,’ Mr Ackers said with a curt nod, ‘if you need anything be sure to let me know. We value our customer’s happiness here at AC Enterprises.’

Elvis smiled politely and then started to walk away in search of their party. Cindy allowed herself to be dragged her long, her white purse now tucked under the crook of her arm, and satisfied smirk on her face that didn’t go unnoticed by Elvis. As they got to the hall of mirrors their friends were just coming out and she wasted no time in telling them about all the ‘fun’ they had missed. But she recounted her tale, filling in the bits even Elvis had missed, he couldn’t help but feel something odd bubbling inside him. He didn’t know what it was but there was definitely something.

‘You’re just a sucker for a pretty face,’ his mind whispered to him as they made their way to the next attraction. Maybe. But it was more than that. He was sure of it.

Maybe it was because he thought Cindy might be lying. He hated to think it but the twinkle in her eye when Mr Ackers had scolded that girl made him think it could be true. Or maybe it was the fact that he had heard true panic in her voice. Like the situation had spiralled out of control more than she intended. Or maybe it was that look in her eye when he had first got there. As if she knew him. That didn’t mean much though, almost everyone in the south knew him by now. He stayed in his thoughts for the rest of the night, unable to shake the unnerving feeling that was bouncing around his brain bringing with it more questions every time it hit the edge.

Eventually, the crowds got thinner and thinner until they seemed to be the only people left. As darkness finally settled in, and the rides started to close one by one, they decided to call it a night and head back to the car. 

‘I think I drank too much soda,’ Darla complained as they neared the exit. ‘Well you better use the facilities before we head home,’ Gene said. ‘Ew, those disgusting things?’ Darla said wrinkling her nose. ‘Well it’s that or pee at the side of the road,’ Red said, ‘because you ain’t having an accident in the caddy right EP?’ ‘Hmm,’ Elvis said coming out of his thoughts. ‘I said the girls better take a leak before we head home right?’ ‘Right,’ he mumbled looking passed them, lost in his thoughts. The boys shared a look but didn’t say anything. ‘Come on I’ll walk ya to ‘em,’ Gene said, ‘this place is kinda creepy in the dark.’ ‘I think I’m gonna come too,’ Billy said. ‘Yeah me too,’ Junior said, ‘someone needs to hold Billy’s hand in the dark.’ ‘As long as that’s all you’re holding,’ Billy chuckled speeding up out of Junior’s way as he swiped at him. ‘Are you gonna walk me too Elvis?’ Cindy said sweetly capturing his attention as the rest walked away leaving just him, Cindy and the Wests standing there. ‘Why don’t you just go catch them up?’ Elvis said as if it were obvious. Cindy smiled a false smile and nodded before she turned on her heel and flagged down the group a little way ahead of her. As she got out of earshot Red nudged him with his elbow.

‘What’s going on with you man?’ he asked, his brow furrowed. ‘What do you mean?’ Elvis said. ‘I don’t know,’ Red said, ‘you’ve been acting weird like half the night.’ ‘I have not,’ Elvis protested looking at Sonny for back-up who merely shrugged. ‘Alright,’ Red said, ‘if you say so.’ ‘Well yeah I do,’ Elvis said, irritation thick in his voice. ‘Okay man,’ Red said holding his hands up. ‘How about we just bring the car around?’ Elvis asked tersely, receiving nods from the boys. They headed towards the exit and though the conversation had picked up between the cousins he wasn’t paying much attention.

In fact, as he started to cross the parking lot towards their cars he got distracted as standing there by the side of the road was that girl. Without thinking he started to meander towards her, earning confused looks from Sonny and Red. ‘Where ya goin EP?’ Red said as his friend started walking away. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ he said as he jogged across the lot towards her. She wasn’t facing him but she turned as she heard his footsteps appear. Her face immediately fell into a scowl as he approached, coming to stand in front of her, and throwing her his most knee-weakening smile. 

‘Hey,’ he said softly. ‘What do you want?’ she asked folding her arms across her chest. She was dressed differently now. Her stiff blue waitress dress and apron were gone replaced by a simple white shirt and a pair of shorts that showed off so much leg Elvis had to make a conscious effort not to stare. ‘To be greeted by your charm,’ he chuckled making her roll her eyes. That familiar feeling returned in the pit of his stomach as he cleared his throat and said nervously, ‘I-I-I just wanted to apologise…a-a-about before. I hope he didn’t give you too much grief.’ ‘He wouldn’t have given me any if your girlfriend hadn’t shot her mouth off,’ she snapped. ‘She’s not my girlfriend,’ Elvis said quickly. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t pertinent to the conversation, but his mouth had thrown the words out before his brain connected. ‘Lucky you,’ she snorted. 

Silence fell between them for a moment where all that could be heard was the distant sounds of the fair shutting down for the night and the passing of cars a little further down the road. Elvis placed his hands in his pockets unsure of what to say. She wasn’t looking at him now, if anything she seemed to be willing him to walk away but he couldn’t make himself. After a minute he said, ‘do you have a ride coming or something?’ ‘I’m waiting for the bus,’ she said simply. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘well you can get a ride with us if you want I mean I don’t mind-’ ‘Uh huh,’ she mumbled shaking her head. ‘What?’ Elvis asked. ‘Is that supposed to compensate for getting me fired? A ride home?’ she smirked but her eyes signalled it was not one of mirth but rather one of annoyance. ‘He fired you?’ Elvis asked. ‘What did you think he was going to do? He thinks I’m a thief,’ she said. ‘Lemme talk to him. I’m sure I-I-I can straighten things o-out-’ he stammered as guilt coursed through him before she could respond though their attention was captured by Red’s voice.

‘Hey EP! We leaving or what?!’ he shouted from the car. Elvis looked over his shoulder to find a car idling just a few meters away from where they were standing. Red was in the driver’s seat, Sonny beside him and Cindy in the back watching him with fury in her eyes. He held his hand out as if telling them to hang on before he looked back to the girl. 

‘Look I really am sorry I promise I can get you your job back. Why don’t ya-’ ‘You should go,’ she said, ‘don’t wanna leave your friends waiting.’ ‘But-’ ‘I have a bus to catch,’ she said with an air of finality. Elvis watched her for a moment, wanting to protest but he could see she wasn’t going to listen so instead of saying something he simply nodded. Then, he turned around and headed to the car where his friends were waiting. He hopped over the side of the car and slid into the seat beside Cindy as Red started the car rolling. Cindy didn’t look at him, instead, she kept her arms folded across her chest and looked away from him as if taking in the dismal scenery of the parking lot but as the car pulled down the road he found his eyes lingering on the girl’s figure as it got smaller and smaller until she was out of sight.

The ride was uncomfortably silent on the way home. Sonny and Red barely said anything though they did keep glancing into the back seat to see if the tension had dissolved any and Cindy didn’t make a sound until they pulled up outside her house she mumbled a ‘goodnight’ to the boys before she climbed out without a backwards glance. Elvis didn’t care. It wasn’t as if he was so into the thought of seeing her again. So what if she dubbed him a lousy date to all her friends?

As they pulled up to Graceland his mood didn’t change. He barely spoke to the guys who were waiting back at the house or his Mama when she asked how his night had been. Instead, he told them he was tired and climbed upstairs to his bedroom. Once alone in the dark, he sat down on his bed and played back their conversation in his head.

He had gotten her fired. Well, Cindy had, but he hadn’t intervened which meant the blame lay at his door at least a little. Hell, probably the only reason her manager took it so far was that he was there. Elvis Presley. The biggest attraction at the whole carnival. To some. 

‘But not to her,’ his mind whispered. His mind played back the way her face had shrivelled in disgust as he apologised. She hated him and he supposed it was fair enough. He probably wouldn’t like the guy who got him fired either. 

But still, that voice in the back of his mind was niggling at him. There was something about her. Something familiar. 

He knew her from somewhere, he was sure of it. 

And if that were true, he couldn’t let her lasting impression of him be a bad one. He had to change her mind. 

[ghooostbaby]

was tagged by @muigiel ^^

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? i heard "ghost baby" could be a translation of wei ying (from mdzs) and i really loved that vibe

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. @revengegarden which i use to put art inspiration in.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i think i first joined when it was in beta in like 2009! i didnt really know how to use it though. i used it intermittently over the years to post silly poetry and save stuff from the internet i enjoyed. i never really interacted with anyone or understand how that worked. i made a new account in 2020 when i got interested in fandom stuff during pandemic lockdown times..

4. do you have a queue tag? no

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? well i answered that above kind of ... i've always sort of gotten weird obsessed with whatever i'm watching or reading, no one else i knew really had the same level and that i remember during the first weeks of lockdown searching stuff on what i was watching instead of bothering uninterested people about it and ended up on tumblr looking at fan art of zuko and sokka :P and all these people losing it over fictional characters i was like ... i think i'm home? so i got a tumblr to participate in it more.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? my name is from wei wuxian so i wanted a pic of him! he was sort of my main blorbo at the time making this account, and he truly captured my heart when he was all red-eyed insane with rage playing his demon flute

7. why did you choose your header? i don't know what my header is haha

8. what’s your post with the most notes? i'm not sure exactly, but i think the last 'annual stats' thing tumblr shared was a feverish cumplane head canon i posted. i also get notes every day on a recent post about wu ming fanon vs canon. but actually my looooong ranting meta about wei wuxian and lan wangji is probably the most notes. but reading that meta makes me want to hide under a rock encountering my past self

9. how many mutuals do you have? a couple

10. how many followers do you have? o.o

11. how many people do you follow? a few hundred i think?

12. have you ever made a shitpost? *looks up definition of shitpost* no

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? probably an hour a day just scrolling on my phone when i'm too tired to do anything else... i've had a job this summer that has been brutally long hours and tiring so i'm not in the mood to sit at my computer much

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? sometimes haha. listen, sometimes people have takes that are so bad i have to say SOMEthing. then i get so terrified of being yelled at i delete everything or ignore tumblr for 2 weeks or ask @muigiel if people are being mean in my notes hahaha

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts ummmmm

16. do you like tag games? it's nice to be tagged! atm i usually don't have time when i receive them and then the notification passes and i forget, this one i put in my drafts though

17. do you like ask games? love to be a part of one one day T.T idk maybe more people would send me asks if i turned on anon but a year or so ago i started getting all these terfs harassing me in my asks (must be doing something right?) so i turned off anon. one actually was mad enough to send me a death threat (?!) from their account so i was able to report them

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? haha i don't have many, just all of us small fish swimming together.. but i think a lot of people in danmei fandoms really love what @baiwu-jinji posts :) although i think they're not super active rn or we're not on at the same times

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? no but if you're in love with me let me know! i wouldn't be opposed to a tumblr romance :P

20. what is the last song you listened to? hmmmm i think i was listening to a Grouper album last

21. what are you currently watching? i wanted to find something new to watch that had perfect gorgeous visuals of beautiful outside places and ended up watching Orlando last night

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? all!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? tgcf, he xuan, yin yu, maurice (film & reading the book)

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

maurice soundtrack !!

80s dancey music bc my taste definitely gears towards lyricless and traditonal/folk music but i've been working with kids who all want to listen to justin bieber all the time so trying to get some fun pop music i can also enjoy (i just hate the sounds of contemp pop music sorry, somehow it feels so... digital? data-driven? written by AI?) - and actually have found madonna is soooo good.

and then relistening to old favourites... yesterday i was enjoying my rock n roll romance playlist which has david bowie, bauhaus, wanda jackson (tunnel of love), suicide (cheree), roy orbison, dead or alive

if you want to take a look inside my brain https://www.nts.live/shows/cantus-orbis

tag 9 people.. uhh. how about just @unfotp @marloviandevil @baiwu-jinji but no obligation!

[ericstoltz]

life update!!

i finally have some free time and havent properly posted something in so long so i thought id write up something!

first of all i want to say that ive successfully fixed my bingewatch problem in late january!! i hate to say it, but seeing how many movies i saw last year in my letterboxd wrapped really concerned me 🫤 i wanted to make an effort to make use of my time properly (after starting a new job and all) and i thought i wont let myself waste time bingeing horrible b-movies just so i can bump up the percent watched in someones filmography (its kinda tricky doing it so i made a resolution to only watch movies which interests me if i want to see more of someone)

with that said, i ended up not watching anything on weekdays and eventually think that staring at my phone for more than an hour wasnt my thing anymore (at least in the context of doing it EVERYDAY). so that may be one of the reasons why the turnaround for my hyperfixations got slower (which i think is good!).

ALSO, i do want to mention that because ive been watching less films recently i initially thought it would be great for my gif making hobby since i wont feel the pressure of wanting to gif so many movies at one sitting. i tried this in early feb and.. well... lets just say that it takes time for my very old laptop to make gifs (i had it since college during the pandemic so it was really used!). i only screen record scenes i want to gif because i hate having to wait to download AND even if i had hq clips it would take my laptop so long to render. so making something lq and having to wait 30mins just for a single gif wasnt doing it for me (bcs i said i wanted to make more use of my time).. so thats the reason why i havent posted anything lately (I REALLY REALLY wanted to make a gifset of josh whitehouse in valley girl but the quality just ended up stressing me 🫠)

and for my last update, as u can tell from my reblogs on queue, i just saw daisy jones and the six and LOVE josh whitehouse and he really got me playing the guitar again 😭😭 (i still think its a miracle!!!). ive been practicing some old pieces i used to perform when i was in high school during my 5-9's and i just had a bizzare idea of getting into the piano. i only ever played classical before, so i always had a problem doing improvs. i spent some time looking at videos on youtube and found out improvs on the piano were waay easier to play and understand, so im gonna buy a keyboard very very soon (which im so excited for)!!!! learning how to do jazz improvs on keys would probably be my new hobby and making gifs would probably be back until i get a new laptop (which at the moment is very low priority 🥲)

SO THERES THAT! Now heres an audit trail of my jan-feb hyperfixations!

still on a tom blyth high since late december 2023

dom sessa: after watching the holdovers (seriously this time)

sam claflin: i wanted to get out of the coriolanus blackhole so i ended up reading finnick odair fics 😭😭 i found out he was the lead in daisy jones and the six so i watched that! my hyperfixation didnt last tho!! i have love rosie on my watchlist but got side tracked bcs of... *drum roll*

JOSH WHITEHOUSE -i find it crazy how most of my hyperfixations are englishmen. but yes. my sweet pookie. i love him. i will try not to talk much bcs if i start i wont stop. but tldr i didnt binge his filmography so i was on his youtube channel for quite some time and spent 15mins a day there... thats maybe the reason i got into playing the guitar again? love his music videos AND love how he plays flamenco. i play classical on the guitar and am a tarrèga girl so i never bothered to learn flamenco (tarrèga hated it) . but knowing just that made me want to at least remember some pieces i used to play just so i can play again... THEN i found out he has a new movie coming up with...

malcolm mcrae: ngl his pretty face caught my eye (special shoutout to anya! literally the power couple)... my first thoughts were like 'ohh i wonder what his character is like in triton'. but then i found out hes in a band SO i was thinking ok hes in a movie w josh so theres probably gonna be something music in it. i then looked up his band and love their songs!! theyre only a duo which i think is p strong (u dont need that many ppl in a band rly!) and i watched some interviews they had too!

KANE RITCHOTTE: my babygirl. my darling. idk what to say abt him. his songs with malcolm are always so magical. ive been playing gods in the details on repeat since early feb. hes my favorite more* member. the literal musical god. im praying hell sing more songs. ALSO i was suprised he did a cameo in daisy jones and the six with malcolm (they were the one who taught some of them how to play their instruments!! i was in awe bcs malcolm was the literal billy dune. LIKE sam claflin really copied his playing style which is so neat!!)

thats all!! thanks so much if uve read up until this point ily and pls lmk what uve been up to as well 🫶

take care <3

[badgraph1csghost]

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I didnt want to add this to the original post because it's just too darn long.

You want to know how Black Friday used to be? I mean, it's always been psychological trauma for retail workers, but I'm talking like OUTSIDE the building.

People would queue up. Right? When there was a new game console or something coming out, they'd queue up, sometimes for 16 hours. They'd sleep on the queue. They'd have dinner on the queue. They'd have to limit their fluid intake because there were no toilets on the queue.

Because there were doorbusters. There were door prizes. There were savings unfathomable to the 2023 mind. People would form groups to rush the doors, people would get trampled, there was an incident at Kohl's where the manager got trampled to death by a herd of frantic soccer moms who hadn't taken a piss in 16 hours and absolutely HAD to get the best deals on cookware before anyone else.

Just 10 years ago, it was like this.

You didn't understand the phrase "every man for himself" until you saw a group of American suburbanites, half-frozen from the late November cold-snap fighting-- literally FIGHTING like fucking Mortal-ass Kombat-- to get their hands on what? A god damn toaster oven. At Best Buy one year about 10-12 years ago, a soccer mom went to jail because she cut a guy's hand off to get the last big-screen TV.

Why? Why do that? You don't know, do you? The sales were BIG. I tell you, this TV was as big as the wall in my sitting room and it was normally $995; it was on sale for $350. That's a savings of almost $700 fucking dollars, can you imagine it? No, of course you can't, because we live in the 2020s, where the prices of everything have been going up and up and up for the past 5 years.

TVs like the one I mentioned are now $1500 and go "on sale" for $1490. Yeah, save 10 bucks on a fuckin almost $2000 TV that only cost probably $200 to build in the first place. Black Friday doesn't fucking exist anymore.

And I've been saying this like it's a bad thing. It's not. I want to live long enough to stop seeing Black Friday and Cyber Monday ads in the post. But the fact that people STILL behave like they're gonna walk away with a deal just points to how thoroughly the corporate feudal state has convinced us that 700% inflation is just a fact of life.

Oh, yeah, and those stores I mentioned? The Kohl's where so many people burst into the place that the manager got trampled to death? The Best Buy where the guy got his hand cut off? They closed 2 and 3 years ago. No more business. They cut their stock back, still not enough business, and they closed. Yep, nothin' wrong with THIS economy.

[fairy-made]

I was wondering how people get back into the sims 2 because I can’t really do that without having all the mods I had as a kid. I re-tried modding it again as an adult but lost all that progress when my other pc went kaput.

but I just happened to get on the sims 2 reddit (r/sims2) and people are... just playing the existing families in the neighborhoods????? in a vanilla game?? queue wonder and amazement.

I literally have not done that since I initially started playing ts2. I used to have favorite sims like kaylynn langerak, brandi broke, bella goth (obviously), julia capp, olive spectre and ophelia nigmos (which, what the fuck was up with that last name?????) . I miss knowing they are thriving :’)

so I can also start playing with sims I didnt play with as much. like the beaker family in strangetown. they scared tf outta me, bc of nervous subject. like was he just there to be tortured?? was it against his will? idk but as a kid I moved him out immediately, never played that family, and gave him a real name. at least now if I feel like theyre evil I can make them suffer from some sort of karmic retribution lmao

anyway Ive been playing the sims so long that I forgot you usually play some of the existing families instead of just jumping in headfirst with custom ones lol