#so that's everybody else's problem now

[babsaros]

hey. when cis society is oppressing a trans man, what he is experiencing is. In Fact. misogyny. i'm sorry i know none of us like to be reminded of our agab, and it hurts whenever people perceive you as the wrong gender. but a cis person hate-criming, assaulting, verbally abusing, etc, a trans man is not doing "transandrophobia" because they do not perceive him as a man.

they perceive him as a woman failing at her gender, as a woman who has been seduced and lied to and manipulated because women are so easily led astray, just like it says in the bible. they perceive him as a woman who has been mutilated. they perceive him as a dyke that needs to be fixed. if they are hate-criming him because they *do* perceive him as a man, because he passes well enough they aren't thinking he could be trans, then they're doing so out of homophobia, perceiving him as a gay man, a pervert, a sissy, a danger to children. OR, they are being transphobic but specifically because they think he might be transfeminine instead. when cis society oppresses a trans woman, they are able to do it on multiple levels at once. She's a woman failing at her gender, a dyke that needs to be fixed. Or she's an evil and grotesque crossdressing pervert, a rude caricature, a danger to polite society. she will never be doing enough to escape oppression entirely, no matter if she gets every surgery she can and wears makeup every day and passes perfectly, because she lives under a patriarchy, and she's a woman, so she lives in a panopticon, and HAVING to get surgery and wear make-up to be respected IS oppression, especially if the alternative is being hate-crimed.

trans women (and trans men who pass) are not experiencing "transandrophobia" when a 'queer women and nbs" event turns them away at the door for being too masculine. they are. IN FACT!! experiencing the byproducts of misogyny in a patriarchy!!! where the terfs and coward cis women running those events and occupying those spaces have been taught (sometimes through experience, sometimes by men, sometimes by women) throughout life that men = stronger and more dangerous than women ALWAYS. That they need to protect themselves at all times and always be vigilant. That men and women can't be friends without sexual tension (and so as queer women the mere existence of what they perceive as a "man" is a threat). That women need a separate sports league because they can't possibly compete with someone who has even a little bit "extra" (an unquantifiable amount actually because there isn't a standard range) testosterone. That women should cook and men should fix cars. i promise you, i promise i promise i promise. it's misogyny. like!!! you don't say cis gay men experiences "androphobia", bc that's not a thing!! you sound like fucking mens rights activists guys please! you don't say a black man experiences "misandrynoir"!! because living in a patriarchy fundamentally means men do not experience oppression based on their gender. its not happening. shut the fuck up. stop walking us back to 2014 can we please take a step forward and stop bitching about this. there are genuine issues in the world and i'm frankly sick of people who should be smarter than that needing to be gently hand-held through this fucking explanation for the millionth time and still stomping their feet.

[cerbaros]

[sideblogformentalhealtshit]

The most ??? experience is when you struggle your whole life with something you don't know the name of and nobody else does it and you feel all weird and outcast and Othered by it, and then you find out what it's called and start finding out about other people's experiences with it... only to find out that, compared to them, what you have is actually mild in comparison. So then it's like. You're too weird for "normal" people but too normal to feel like you really fit in&belong with the more "weird" ones.

[iratusmus]

scourge unleashed aus mean nothing to me unless he is a catboy

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a very specific experience, but I think a huge reason I didn't even realize or even want to be bisexual was specifically because of this intersection of my manhood and the way it's viewed

There's this toxic merry-go-round I find myself riding where I am so desperate to not be one of those guys to a woman that it winds up being an inability to connect to women* because of this hyperpolicing I end up doing. For the longest time, I repressed myself because of this impulse, and I find it interesting. It's interesting seeing how this aspect of patriarchy impact me in such a way that I was too afraid of myself and the people around me.

As a trans man, I felt the pressure to prove both that I'm not one of those men, but also, that I wasn't this predatory trans man, that anything I did was in service to proving why I should (or should not) continue to exist. Simultaneously, I am both not a man, but also a predatory man because of my transness, a threat to be contained. I felt this before as somebody who is multisexual, but it somehow affects me more in the aspect of how I interact with women* and womanhood* from the outside.

There isn't an overarching theme to this post, a message about what you can do. It's mostly reflecting on my experiences and thinking about where my impulse to think myself as guilty until proven innocent plays into how I've started viewing myself. I don't want to overgeneralize, but I've seen this expressed by many a trans man*.

[dirt-str1der]

Random people put a like on my ryusen marriage post every once in a while this makes me happy i like ryusen

[soothedcerberus]

Speaking of Team Fortress 2…

I just remembered that like in 2012 I made my whole youth group watch all the TF2 “meet the” videos on the big projector we had downstairs at my church

I’m pretty sure it was during a service too janbsjxn

Everyone upstairs learning about jesus and us cool kids downstairs I made watch wacky cartoon men explode each other 

[franthonyofficial]

anybody else up thinking about this……

[kkoct-ik]

i can def relate to having an abusive mother, the worst part is that people always assume mothers to be good people. thankfully my dad and mother don't live together so i chose to stay with my dad permanently but my dad's girlfriend is constantly talking about how i should make up with my mother because "you only get one mom" and she completely ignores me when i try to talk about how abusive my mother was

yeah. ugh. sorry about your situation anon. it sucks and im sending sympathies

[depressedzelda]

i haff 2 complain abt somrthing DUMB going on basically a close friend who has been best friends with my bf their Whole lives wont stop hitting on me and making gross comments abt me behind my back and its peeving literally everybody off and now EYE have to be the one to deal with it and im ANNOYED!!! oh well

[townofcrosshollow]

Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there

[kidfoundonstreets]

literally aware of hearing loss bc tinnitus felt extra like a bitch this time so gonna try my fuvkling best not tolisten to music as much as i can for a week or two wish me luck

[cutter-kirby]

haven’t been able to have a dnd session in like a month which means I’m analyzing my character to myself in the bathroom mirror for no reason

[maxdanposts]

hmmmm

[kavehayati]

THIS IS SO HUMBLING FR CAUSE the only ppl who did reach out were Hal dahlia and meto (out of the billions of ppl ik)

[traumagenica]

being plural is honestly a wild experience because every time i think i understand whats going on in here i come to find out something even weirder than before and like. im not even mad at this point it's just like can someone just tell me what's going on instead of letting me piece it together on my own?? can somebody in here gimme a goddamn hand???? creepy ass motherfuckers doing shit in the background and whisper whispering in my ear until i Realize IS NOT AN EFFICIENT MEANS OF COMMUNICATION. USE YOUR WORDS SPEAK WITH YOUR WHOLE CHEST goddamn!