#so that the guilt of a friend breakup wouldn’t feel so fucking bad

[singull]

me: *sees post about how friendships are magic, especially the kinds where you create together and those bonds are inseperable!*

me: 😬

[ham1lton]

GOOD LUCK, BABE!

pairings: charles leclerc x reader (romantic/platonic).

summary: friendships don’t always survive, you and charles would know.

warnings: cheating towards the end. no smut but a makeout session. sorry alex 💔

author’s note: the brocedes au that me and anon wanted. i’m trying something new btw. let me know how u feel about it.

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you never imagined yourself in the same room as charles. not willingly anyways. yet, when you received the invitation with his handwritten note asking you to come. you knew you couldn’t say no. you had spent so much of your childhood discussing the future. he wanted a family. three kids, a dog and a gorgeous wife that loved him. you wanted a career. the glory, the accolades and the fans that loved you.

he made you promise one day that you’d be at his wedding. you were fifteen at the ice cream shop that he’d always drag you too. you had snuck out without arthur in order to have an extra scoop after charles’ dad had paid for the ice cream you’d had earlier. he looked over at you, eyes serious and asked you to be his best man — (“best woman, best girl. it doesn’t matter. i just want you next to me. i’m serious yn.” he took a lick of his ice cream and the seriousness melted away when he left a smudge on his nose.)

you didn’t break promises easily.

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however, when arthur came running up to you, asking you to follow him. when your relationship with charles disintegrated, you never lost touch with arthur. he was like a little brother to you. you would very rarely meet him for brunch in whatever city you happened to both be in. so when he asked you to follow him, you did willingly.

“where are we going?” you ask, as he pulls you along by your right hand. “usually, whenever you don’t give me context it means you’re doing something bad. is this something bad leclerc?”

“when am i ever doing something bad?” he looks over his shoulder and gives you a wink. you roll your eyes. he plants you in front of a room and nods at it. you stare at him blankly.

“okay? i’m not a mind reader arthur.”

“i need you to help me look for something.” he nods at the room. “in there.”

“you can do it yourself.” you turn to leave before he runs in front of you and stops you.

“listen. i don’t care if you had that weird breakup with my brother,” you start to protest that it wasn’t a breakup but he stops you. “but you didn’t need to cut me off too. you were a part of my life too. you abandoned me too.”

“i don’t ask you for anything yn but i need your help. i’m looking for my silver cufflinks. i need them.” he raised his cuffs to show you the distinct lack of cufflinks. “please. i’m begging you. i wouldn’t ask otherwise.”

you didn’t expect to come here to be blackmailed and guilt tripped but it was working. you avoided everything leclerc. even his family, especially his family if you were being honest. they went from being your second family to nothing at all.

“okay.” you nod. “i’ll get your cufflinks.”

arthur smiles and opens the door for you to walk in. it’s someone’s hotel room. either arthur’s or a friend’s. it’s messy and you sigh. it’ll be hard finding them in this mess but you start carding through clothes.

“yn?”

you know that voice anywhere. you turn around and it’s charles. he’s half dressed in his wedding suit, his crisp white shirt half unbuttoned. his hair is still messy as if he’s ran his hand through nervously multiple times. you smile with no teeth and move to open the door. it’s locked.

“arthur leclerc! open this fucking door!” you seethe. you bang against the door and hear his voice through the material.

“not until you fucking talk! i’ll be back in half an hour.” you hear his footsteps walk away. you turn to charles who smiles sheepishly at you.

“tea?”

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liked by messyass1, messyass2 and 1,737,883 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: it seems all the rumours are true. sworn enemies f1 drivers charles leclerc and yn yln have seemed to call a truce to celebrate his wedding to art historian alexandra saint mleux. she was seen wearing a dark green vivienne westwood gown as she celebrated the couple’s nuptials.

what do we think about the rekindling of this flame, ham1ltons?

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user1: CHARLESYN IN THE SAME ROOM NO ARGUING NO FIGHTS WE CHEERED!!

user2: i wish we had pictures of her. she always eats her outfits.

-> user3: wtf how does she digest them?

-> user2: figure of speech babe <3

user4: did she have a date??

-> user5: her longtime boyfriend!!

user6: they worked it out on the remix

-> user7: so FERRARI ❤️

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charles makes you the tea. he doesn’t finish buttoning his shirt as he pours it into a mug for you. he remembered how you liked it - two sugars and a splash of milk. you stay silent but nod gratefully.

it’s been so long since you’ve been alone with him. you’re not the same wide eyed kid but neither is he. he’s getting married and you’re giving him the silent treatment. he sits on the edge of his bed awkwardly. tapping his thigh with a single finger.

“thank you for coming,” he says. “i didn’t think you would.”

“the handwritten invitation was a nice choice,” you sip your tea. “personal. did everyone else like it?”

“only yours was,” he coughs into his elbow. “handwritten, i mean. only yours.”

that’s news to you but you don’t have time to ponder what that means before he speaks again.

“i’ve thought for the longest time on what i’d say to you if i got the chance. everything. how sorry i was, how sorry i am, how much i hated you and how much you meant to me. you were my best friend yn. my best friend. no one has even come close to what you were for me.” he chuckles as he presses his palms into his eyes. “who else could i talk to besides you?”

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(insert a tiktok edit of the two of you throughout your careers. the song playing over it is the song ‘chemtrails over the country club’ by lana del ray specifically the lyrics ‘nobody’s son/nobody’s daughter’. it gets 167k likes.)

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“do you still hate me?” charles looks at you under his lashes.

“of course i do. you hurt me.”

“you hurt me. but i don’t hate you.” charles fidgets in his seat. he stretches his hands to place them on his knees. you sip your tea. “do you remember when i asked you to be my best woman?”

you nod.

“i didn’t mean that. i wanted you to be my wife.”

you would choke on your tea if you didn’t know that information but charles wasn’t subtle. yet it was a case of missed opportunities. you didn’t like him then and he didn’t like you now.

“i couldn’t hate you yn. god knows i tried. it hurts me knowing that you hate me as i could never hate you. i said all that shit because i was hurt and angry. you said i was a shitty driver. that i wouldn’t have won without ferrari’s strategies which we both know are shit-“

“i’m sorry, i didn’t know you still cared about my opinion.” you interrupt. your voice still has a defensive edge to it. he just shrugs.

“i’ll always care about your opinion.”

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CHARLESYNNIES TWITTER GC (est.2017)

user1: editing yn to l’amour de ma vie by billie eilish (extended version) rn 😋

user2: what part?

user1: listen from 2:15 till 2:56!!

user3: THATS GONNA EATT OMGGGG

user4: wish we could edit the wedding appearance of the two of them omggg.

user5: when i get off my lazy ass and finish my edit of them to ‘the girl so confusing’ remix

user6: do y’all think they’re talking at the wedding?

user7: babe do you know yn? she’s probably at the very corner of the reception right now. she’ll take a pic with every other leclerc besides charles and probably leave before dinner is served.

user8: you’re so real. yn would NEVER talk to charles let alone be alone with him. i hate it but it’s the truth.

user9: plus charles is probably busy with the wedding.

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you never considered yourself to be a bad person but making out with your ex best friend/teammate literally a few hours before he’s about to get married? that’s a bitch move.

you try to think about his fiancée. she’s probably getting ready excitedly with her family and friends. thinking about being the future mrs leclerc while you’re two minutes away from committing adultery on both of your partners.

you pull apart from charles. he looks at you with wide eyes.

“we can’t fucking do this. we’re awful people,” you sit up. “my fucking lipgloss is all over your mouth.”

“i look good in pink. it’ll be fine.” he wipes it off.

“you have a fiancée. you’re getting married.”

“tell me the word and i’ll call it off. just for you.” he looks at you. “i’m quitting f1 after this year anyways. i’m not attempting to go for the second championship. i don’t want it.”

“how do you not want it?”

“we have different priorities but i won’t be a f1 driver anymore. you always said you couldn’t date a driver. i’ve grown now. i’m fine being in your shadow. i love it. i want it.”

he looks at you as serious as he did when he asked you to be his best woman all those years ago.

“what do you want yn?”

you bite your lip, and think.

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CHARLESYNNIES TWITTER GC (est.2017)

user7: i’m hoping we get at least a picture. just one.

user4: i would DIE!!! imagine!!!

user3: charlesynnies suffer every day and everyone else wins.

user2: i think yn is right there with charles. maybe dancing.

user1: he always said she’d be at his wedding. he was right. i think there is still love there.

user5: FINISHED MY FUCK ASS EDIT PLEASE LIKE AND COMMENT ON TIKTOK BESTIES

user6: okay i wrote a little fic for ao3. it’s called ‘wait until you like me again’!! it’s domestic charlesyn as they are forced to work everything out. kinda angsty but really smutty.

user1: spamming u both charlesynnies are the best idc <3

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liked by ham1ltonshaderoom, landonorris and 1,827,983 others.

charles_leclerc: say hello to mr and mrs leclerc 💍

tagged: alexandrasaintmleux

view all 287,929 comments

yourusername: happy for you 💕

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INTERVIEW WITH CHARLES LECLERC

interviewer — so is it true? you’re renewing your ferrari contract?

charles (laughing) — it is true. racing is my life. this is it for me. it’d take something big to take me away from it.

interviewer: you all heard it here first!

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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr (charles specific tags will be added to the comments!)

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[aboutkiyoomi]

bed peace

synopsis: after a very hurtful breakup, osamu takes his time to help you heal and takes the time to call suna out on his bs. at graduation, osamu offers up a deal that you almost can’t pass up.

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff 

pairings: osamu x g!n reader (mentions of past suna x g!n reader)

pre a/n: not proofread so don’t eat me up but this is a second part to my angst suna x reader oneshot, linked right here 📍

a/n: it’s kinda funny how this was requested since i only wrote that because it was my personal situation that i turned into a oneshot to feel better. you guys r so cute haha (thank you to @multi-fandom-fanfic for the req and reblog!)

‘ after the breakup, you were notably upset. everyone in a 5 mile radius could tell you were heartbroken.

‘ suna avoided you like the plague the entire duration of exam week. he couldn’t bear the guilt of seeing you.

‘osamu ignored suna for a couple days for how he treated you, claiming that he needed to “think about how much of a dickhead he was being”

‘ osamu made sure to lift your spirits as much as he could, it was so sweet.

“why does y/n look so sad all the time? i thought you guys were on good terms?” atsumu asked as he sat down between suna and osamu during graduation rehearsal.

“nah. we’re done, like for good.” suna mumbled, not even bothering to look up as he continued to scroll on his phone.

“what happened?” atsumu asked, his eyebrows raising at suna’s nonchalant demeanor. it was unusual to see suna ever talk about you with such lackluster eyes.

“dumbass over here was all cuddled up with some girl during the third year picnic.” osamu answered before suna could get the chance, glaring at him slightly.

“wha- you guys were on a break then, no? sunarin, wtf?” atsumu spoke, his face curling up in a displeased way.

“i wasn’t even doing anything. like you said, it was a break. they took it personally i guess because they thought we were getting back together.” suna started with a harsh sigh, eyes refusing to look up because he knew osamu and probably atsumu were now glaring daggers at him.

atsumu and osamu considered you a really good friend. when suna introduced you to them, you guys immediately bonded. the twins treated you as a sweet little sibling and always made sure to threaten suna for hurting you.

“you are such a dickhead. i hope you know that.” osamu scoffed, his irritation for the whole situation was strong. 

after the picnic, osamu made sure to text you after seeing you walk off with tears staining your face. he wanted to give you space but wanted to make sure that you were alright because he cared for you a lot more than he led on. after a couple of days of sulking, osamu pulled you aside after your chemistry exam and asked you what was wrong. you explained everything and he immediately began comforting you. he went straight to suna and asked about the sitaution, wanting to hear both sides of the story. after hearing suna’s, samu immediately chewed him out. 

“it was a break, samu. i didn’t even do anything with ayako. i don’t know why you keep bitching about it.” suna spit, his phone finally shut off and his head shot up in irritation.

“maybe because you literally broke, y/n? you led them on for weeks, ever since our last volleyball game. texting them and saying that you loved them. who wouldn’t think you wanna get back together after that? they were so hopeful, just to see you all cuddled up and giggly with some girl. you’re such a dick, you don’t even feel bad. you could at least apologize, have some fuckin’ decency.” osamu’s voice raised slightly, his hands shaking as he moves toward suna.

“that wasn’t my fucking intention, they should’ve never took it to heart. if you care about y/n so damn much, why not go fucking date them. how much longer are you gonna chew me out? i know what i did was fucking stupid, i’ve tried apologizing but they blocked me on everything. what else do you want me to do?” suna yells, passerbys begin to look over at them. atsumu finally steps in and tells both samu and suna to keep it down because you were sitting not far across the room with a group of your friends.

“maybe, apologize in person and i’ll stop chewing you out. if you just act like you actually loved them and maybe, just maybe, sunarin, you would never be in this situation.” osamu spit before standing up and stalking off to go sit by himself, closer to y/n.

suna looks over to atsumu and begins to open up his mouth but atsumu cuts him off with a quick dissapointed head shake before speaking, “no, you fucked up. ya gotta fix it, sunarin.” and walks off to join his brother, leaving suna in his silence.

****

graduation rehearsal ended and you spent most of the free time sitting with your friends and the twins, laughing about silly school memories. it had been 2 weeks since the break up and although you were busy, you were still really upset. even after it all, osamu stayed by your side and tried to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.

as you said goodbye to your friends, preparing to walk home you heard someone call your name. you turned around to see suna, standing there. your eyes widened and you spun on your heels, ready to walk away.

“wait, y/n. please, i just want to explain.” suna spoke, his eyes pleading as he walked closer to you.

“what.” you spoke, not bothering to look up, passing off an irritated voice.

“um..i just wanted to explain. i’m sorry if i lead you on, i never really intended on getting back toget-” suna started, his fingers fumbling with the edges of his shirt.

“i’m gonna stop you there. if that was the case, you could’ve said something. the reason for that break was for you to be honest about what you wanted. so don’t try and say that you “didnt mean too,” you spoke and suna retaliated in an embarrassed silence.

“i’m sorry..you didn’t deserve that and you should know that nothing was ever going on with me and that girl, from the third year picnic. i really wish you the best, i’m sorry...again.” suna said, making sure to finally look up at your state. your eyes lacked their normal shine and your face wasn’t as radiant as it used to be, the guilt and regret was hitting him like a bus.

“not saying we’re gonna be cool after this but i appreciate it. have a good life too, suna.” you finished before walking off in the opposite direction, leaving suna to his thoughts again. it seems that it was now suna’s time to be heartbroken.

*****

graduation day

“i can’t believe it, we’re finally graduates. it’s so cool that we’ll be going to the same college.” you said to osamu as you guys waited for atsumu to finish crying over his high school days being over and saying goodbye to nearly the entire population of third years.

“yea, seems like you’re the only one excited.” samu says, somber smile gracing his features.

“tsumu still pissed at you?” you asked, patting his shoulder sweetly.

“yup, only talked with me when our ma’ wanted pictures. he’ll get over it, he’s excited to see me open up a restaurant, he just won’t admit it.” osamu spoke with a sigh as he leaned his weight on you. both of you chatting before osamu noticed suna glancing over at you with sad eyes.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? after ya know, suna almost ruined the end of your third year.” osamu asked gently, pushing you back slightly so he can look you in your eyes.

“it sucks but he apologized and honestly, i’m over it. it was what it was. i’m ready to move on.” you said, confidently as you smiled happily at osamu who’s face lit up with warmth.

“oh and y/n, you deserve real love and someone who’s willing to give it to you.” osamu said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“maybe i’ll find them in college.” you replied.

“or maybe, it could be me.” osamu said, smile growing larger as he watched your eyes widen slightly in shock.

“i like you a lot y/n....you don’t have to answer now. there’s a lot of time for us to become....us.” samu said before pulling you in for a quick hug, allowing you to relax at how comforting osamu had always been.

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling Prologue- Part 11 Breakups and Fights

Summary- Urban tells you that Jack is cheating on you, and you and Jack break up, but not for the reason you were expecting.

About a week after you found out Jack was cheating on you, Urban stayed home one day while Jack went to set. Urban knew Jack was cheating, and ever since he found out a couple days after it started, he felt guilty about keeping it from you. Every time Urban asked Jack about it, Jack would tell him that he was going to tell you soon.

After Urban found out about another girl Jack cheated on you with, though just once, not multiple times like he had with Alexa, Urban had enough. Urban wasn’t sure why Jack continued to cheat on you when he still claimed he loved you. Jack did feel bad about continuing to cheat on you, but he did it because he didn’t want your forgiveness. Jack knew you were a very forgiving person, but he knew that he hurt you and that you shouldn’t forgive him. 

Jack also needed to know for himself that once he told you, that you weren’t going to forgive him. Jack didn’t want to sit and wonder months later if he could have gotten your forgiveness. In a way, continuing to cheat and hurt you would lead to closure in your relationship for Jack, even if that meant that he had to live with the guilt of hurting the best person he had ever met, and probably would ever meet. 

Urban waited a little bit after Jack left to sit you down and tell you about Jack. 

“Look, Y/N, I don’t want to be the one to tell you this. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, but as your friend I can’t let this keep happening. Jack’s uh, he’s.” You could tell what Urban was going to say, and that he didn’t want to, so you said it for him.

“Cheating on me?” You asked and Urban nodded slightly. “I know.” You admitted. It felt weird to say out loud, it made it seem real as you admitted it for the first time. 

“Wait, how do you know?” Urban asked, confused.

“I, I saw some texts, that I wasn’t supposed to, from Alexa.” You told him.

“Why are you still with him then?” Urban asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re still here, but I wouldn’t blame you if you left.” Urban clarified.

“I still love him.” You admitted, your eyes tearing up. “I just want Jack to be honest with me, I mean there has to be a reason he cheated. Was it something I did? Does he suddenly not love me anymore because I thought everything was fine. I just want an explanation because I feel like we could work things out.” You said, letting your tears fall for the first time. “I know that sounds so fucking stupid, but I love him and it’s hard for those feelings to just go away overnight.”

You had thought about the situation you were in with Jack, but this was the first time you had talked about it to someone. Urban sighed softly, pulling you in for a hug. 

“You don’t sound stupid. Jack owes you an explanation, but I don’t think you did anything for him to cheat on you, but that’s a conversation you’ll have to have with Jack.” Urban said, rubbing your back to try and comfort you.

“I know I’m just hurting myself more by staying, and I know I should leave, but I just need to hear him out, and if that ends in us working things out, or if it ends in a breakup, then that’s okay. I’ll deal with it if I have to.” You said. 

“You know, no matter what, I’ll always be here for you. I know I’ve known Jack longer, but you’ve become just as much my friend as he is, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.” Urban said.

“Oh, I literally just moved to Kentucky, so you’re not getting rid of me at least until my lease is up.” You told Urban and he laughed softly. “Thank you for telling me though. I really do apricate it.”

“Of course. You don’t deserve to be cheated on, and I know you don’t want to leave him, and I get that, but I think you two at least need time apart. Jack needs to figure his shit out, you can always forgive him in, like, a year but I don’t think you should forgive him right away.” Urban said and you nodded.

“I just don’t want to be the one to bring it up. I am pissed at him, obviously, but it would be nice for him to at least be honest with me. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I never thought that we would be in the position where that might not be, and probably won’t be the case.” You said, Urban sighed softly.

“I thought you two would spend the rest of your lives together too.” Urban admitted.

“You did?” You asked.

“Yeah, I truly did think you two were perfect for each other.” Urban said, not telling you about the fact that Jack had boughten an engagement ring. “I still think you could be if Jack gets his shit together, but you can’t make it easy on him to make it up to you.” Urban told you.

“Do you think he’ll try?” You asked, playing with the charm on your necklace.

“I don’t know. I hope he does. I don’t want to speak for him, but he does still say he loves you.”

“Do you know why he cheated?”

“That’s something you need to talk to him about.” Urban told you and you nodded slightly. 

Urban spent the rest of the day trying to distract you from your situation with Jack, watching movies and making random snacks, which didn’t really work, but you appreciated the effort. You also appreciated that Urban told you that Jack was cheating on you. You didn’t expect him to, assuming he wouldn’t, if he even knew. It was nice having someone to be able to talk to about the situation, and over the next week you talked to Urban about Jack often. Urban was able to ‘convince’ you that you and Jack did need time apart. You knew he was right before he even said it, you just needed someone to talk about it with.

A week later, you and Jack were at the house alone, Urban went out for the night. Jack decided this was his best opportunity to finally tell you what he had been doing. Ever since the first time Jack cheated on you, he had felt horrible about it, even though he had continued to do it. 

“Y/N?” Jack asked, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“Yeah?” You asked, looking up from your phone.

“Can we talk?” He asked and you nodded, sitting up.

“Yeah, sure, about what?” You asked, you knew what he was going to say. Even though you knew, you were nervous. Over the last two weeks, you had thought about this conversation several times, going over what was going to be said thousands of times, but that didn’t make it any more pleasant of a conversation to have. You knew by the end of this conversation you and Jack were going to be broken up, and it was a weird feeling.

“I-I don’t know how to tell you this.” Jack sighed, running his hands through his curls. 

“Hey.” You said, grabbing his hands, holding them in yours. “You can tell me anything.” You told Jack, comforting him even though you weren’t sure why.

“I think we need to take a break. Focus on our careers for a little while.” Jack sighed. “I don’t want to, but I think it’s what best for both of us right now. I’m about to go out on tour, and as much as I want you to come with me, it’s just not possible with both of our careers. I don’t know the next time we’ll be able to see each other after this until after tour, and I don’t want you to have to wait around for me.” Jack lied to you.

Out of every situation you thought of for this conversation, you didn’t see it going like this. You were expecting Jack to be honest with you and tell you he cheated. 

Jack had every intention to be honest with you when he sat down, but something at the last second stopped him. Jack didn’t want to completely break your heart, and even though his explanation made no sense, you two were together for his previous tour, he thought it was better than telling you he had cheated. 

“What?” You asked, your eyes immediately starting to tear up as you dropped his hands. 

“I’m sorry.” Jack whispered and you stood up from the bed. 

“No. You don’t get to be fucking sorry.” You yelled at him. In the moment, you weren’t focused on the cheating. “What happened to us going public with our relationship after you’re done filming?”

“I don’t think it’s the right time for that. I just, I don’t know. I thought about it a lot and I still love you, but I just think we need to focus on our careers for a little bit.”

“So, you’re just going to make that decision for both of us?” You asked, tears streaming down your face. Jack tried to say something, but you cut him off before he could. “I can’t fucking believe you Jack. I loved you and you’re just giving up on us?” You wanted to confront Jack on the cheating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to bring it up, you were thrown off, so you didn’t even have time to process anything other than what Jack was telling you.

While you were yelling at Jack, you had gotten your suitcase out and were throwing your stuff into it.

“I love you too. I’m not giving up on us, I just think it would be easier for both of us if we took a break.” Jack argued.

“Well taking a break sure sounds a lot like giving up to me.” You said, Jack sighed. 

“Don’t leave, it’s late. Let’s talk about everything and then if you want to leave, you can leave in the morning.” Jack suggested. “I don’t want you leaving by yourself this late.”

“You think after you telling me that you want to put your career above our relationship that I’m going to stay? Fuck you. I can’t believe I ever thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.” You said, throwing more stuff into your bag, not caring if it was folded perfectly like you normally did. “Can I ask you something?” You asked, suddenly stopping what you were doing and looking at Jack.

“Anything.”

“Did you actually love me, or was I just some girl you drug around with you so you could sleep with her? Was our whole relationship a lie to you?” You asked.

“Of course, I fucking loved you. I still do. Nothing I did was just so I could have sex with you. Everything I did was because I love you. We’re both young, and at the heights of our careers. We’d be stupid not to try to focus on that while we can.”

“No, that’s where you’re wrong. We’d be stupid not to fight for the person we loved. We’ve made our relationship work, for over a year, but now you’re just so willing to give up, I would have never given up on you this easily.” You told Jack.

“I’m sorry.” Jack said again, reaching out to touch your arm but you pulled it away instantly. “Please, just stay tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I’m not fucking staying. If I can’t get a flight tonight, I’ll just get a hotel.”

“Y/N please.” Jack begged as you continued to walk around the house, grabbing your stuff. You were certain you were missing stuff and had probably grabbed some of Jack’s clothes in the process, but you would deal with that later. You just wanted to be out of the house. You heard Urban walk back into the house, he was a little thrown off coming home to the two of you yelling at each other, but he also didn’t question it or want to interrupt.

“Jack, you don’t care about me. Stop pretending you do.” You said, finally closing your suitcase and zipping it up.

“I do care about you. If you don’t think I do, Urban does. I don’t want you in an uber alone at fucking one in the morning.” Jack said as you pulled your suitcase out into the living room. Seeing Urban sitting on the couch. Urban looked at Jack, then looked at you, and he knew exactly what had happened while he was gone. Urban smiled at you sadly.

“Urban, can you take me to the airport.” You asked, looking at him. Jack looked at Urban, shaking his head. 

“Just stay here, think about things, and then you can leave in the morning.” Jack told you.

“I would have never done this to you Jack. I wouldn’t have given up on us like this because I loved you. You just had to go and ruin things between us.” You said. “There isn’t anything for me to think about.” You told Jack before looking at Urban again. “Please?” You asked and Urban nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I’ll take you.” Urban told you.

“Thank you, let me go grab my phone.” You said and Urban nodded. You walked back into the bedroom and Jack tried to follow you.

“Y/N, please, don’t leave. I’m sorry, I really am.” Jack said.

“No Jack, you’re right, we do need a break because one of us is clearly more committed to this relationship then the other one. I’m done. We’re done.” You said, grabbing your phone before walking back out into the living room, grabbing your bag, Urban stood there awkwardly as Jack tried to follow you again but just got the door slammed in his face.

“Uh, I take it you told her?” Urban asked, trying to break the silence. 

“Yeah, something like that.” Jack sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“I’ll be back.” Urban told Jack before following you out the front door and to the rental car.

On the drive to the airport, you contacted your manager Claire, telling her to send a private jet as soon as possible, and the car was silent other than your quiet sobs. You knew your breakup with Jack was going to hurt, but you at least expected the truth out of him. 

“I’m sorry.” Urban sighed softly, reaching over to put his hand on your arm, trying to comfort you the best he could while also driving.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” You said, leaning your head back against the seat. It was silent again until Urban pulled up to the airport. 

“Do you have a flight?” Urban asked you, parking the car before looking over at you. 

“Yeah, the plane will be here in a couple hours, but I’d rather be here than in a house with Jack right now.” You said and Urban nodded in understanding.

“Do you want to get a hotel room?” Urban asked and you shook your head.

“It won’t be that long, I’ll be fine.” You told him and he nodded. “If you’re missing any clothes, let me know, because quite honestly, I have no idea what I packed.” You said, trying to joke and Urban laughed softly.

“It’s okay, I get it.” 

“Promise me you’ll come see me the second you get back home? I’m serious, I don’t want to lose you as a friend just because of everything that happened between Jack and I.” You said, wiping your tears, before getting out of the car, Urban getting out of the car also so he could help you with your bag.

“Promise. As long as you promise to text me when you leave and when you land.” Urban said and you nodded.

“Promise.” You told Urban before he pulled you into a hug. 

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Urban rubbed your back slightly as you started to cry again.

“Like I said, it’s not your fault, but thank you.” You said, sighing as you pulled away from the hug. You wiped your tears again.

“Text me if you change your mind and want to get a hotel room, or even just want company.” Urban told you and you nodded.

“I will, but I think I just need a little time to myself right now.”

“That’s fine, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be alone.” Urban said. “Is someone picking you up when you land?”

“Yeah, Madison is going to pick me up.” You said. “Now go back home and get some sleep. I know you have to be up early tomorrow. Thank you for driving me.” You said.

“Of course. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.” 

You and Urban finished saying goodbye, and he waited until you were let into the private flight waiting area before he left. In a few hours you would be back in Kentucky, somewhere that reminded you of Jack, except this time, he wouldn’t be with you. 

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih

@idktbh101

[monstersinthecosmos]

September 27, 1973

When he crashes into the hard doorframe of the bar bathroom, he tells himself he’s good for the night, he’s had enough, he’ll take a leak and then go finish his bowl of peanuts or whatever the fuck they gave him, and that’ll be that. The blunt pain lights up his left side—not enough to hurt, not really, too drunk for that—just enough that his body knows he’s still here. And that’s interesting. That’s interesting.

He rubs at his shoulder as he staggers to the urinal. And he can hear all the commands in his head, narrating every move, even though he hears it a moment late. Zip, yeah, got it, have to piss so bad, shouldn’t have have drank so much on the plane, but—and then shaking off, putting himself back, flushing. He blinks once, twice. Harder to clear his vision, because it’s bright in here, brighter than it had been in the bar. He can’t feel his face and he stares at the gush of water, unable to process it until it’s over.

But no, no. It’s fine. And he’s… somewhere. A bar. It’s across from the hotel. There was a safe in the room, he locked up the tapes. Came for a drink. Got it. Got it.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it—being somewhere. He knows he’s been this drunk before, but he’s never been this lost before. The most tragic part is that this is about to happen over and over, for years, and he doesn’t know it yet. Bars are all the same—he can find his way from his drink to the bathroom, and he’ll find his way to the next round—but he can’t remember what country he’s in. Picked some flight off the board when he got to the airport this morning and thrust Armand’s wad of cash at the ticket agent. Slept through half the flight and drank for the rest. Can’t remember.

He staggers as he reaches for the bathroom door, and the handle doubles in his vision, and he turns in a panic to look for his bag, the tapes. Just the ugly bathroom, though, somehow grimy despite how empty it is. And he thinks he remembers a safe in the hotel room. He unpacked the tapes and lined them up in the safe. Yes, yes. And the key is in his wallet. It’s okay.

A minute ago he thought he’d had enough. But music pulses against him as he steps back into the comforting dimness of the bar, and he breathes the slow lungful of stale secondhand smoke, and he thinks another won’t hurt. He wants to finish his peanuts or whatever it was. Pretzels? Or potato chips, maybe. He’s not sure. But another drink for that, and he likes the song that’s playing from the jukebox, he remembers it from his other life.

The barstool wobbles as he sits back down. It was pretzels. His lips are numb as he shoves a handful into his mouth, then waves the bartender back over. Mumbling with his mouth full—wouldn’t his mother be ashamed—even though he’s not sure what language they speak here. Waving his empty glass is universal, though. What had he drank the first time? He can’t remember how he ordered. 

There are clues around the bar, surely. Maybe a drink special on a chalkboard, or flyers for local bands. Daniel’s eyes sweep across the space but everything is a blur. There are letters, and he sees them, but nothing really connects in his head. It’s another language. All of it is another language.

Some people are laughing over to the side, and he glances towards them. Hovering around the jukebox and he wonders if they’re teasing each other. It’s sort of a depressing song, actually. He remembers it from before, remembers how it had given him a bad feeling the first time he heard it. Probably not great for a night out with friends.

He likes it, though. He shuts his eyes as the bartender slides the new glass to him, tilting his head towards the sound. It’s a breakup song, Daniel thinks. At least, he listened to it after his last breakup. Over and over for a few days, while the guilt ate him alive.

Actually, his only breakup.

His eyes open, and he stares down at the glass in his hand. Can’t feel his face. Stomach churns for a moment and he thinks maybe he shouldn’t keep drinking. 

Maybe it doesn’t count as breaking up. She was more upset about it than he was. He can still see her face in his mind—standing in his dorm room doorway last Christmas Eve, eyes glistening with hurt that he didn’t get her a present. 

No love lost. Just that he felt like a dick about it. 

“Letters I’ve written, never meaning to send,” the jukebox croons, and Daniel throws half his drink back.

What as her name, anyway?

Well. Whatever.

He downs another handful of pretzels, wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. Holds the sticky edge of the bar for balance as he stands, and takes his drink with him as he heads towards the jukebox, himself, wondering if he’ll be able to read anymore, if he’ll remember what the songs are. 

And he knows he didn’t need another drink. The nausea creeps up as he moves, as he feels the liquid sloshing inside his guts, cold jolt as he weaves between all the humans. Feels like the room spins with every step he takes. Not just the booze, but the realization again that he doesn’t know where he is. He could be anywhere on the globe, and he can imagine it. Just some fucking rock, spinning in space, and…

Armand is out there somewhere.

He stops short, his sneaker squeaking on the ground, slicing through the sound of the music.

Someone behind him bumps into him. His drink splashes onto the person ahead of him. The visual information rolls through, not quite catching, as he wonders how Armand even found him before. He sees the annoyance on the man’s face, in real time, ahead of him, sees his mouth moving. Hears the words, but not the language, just enough to hear how sharp they are. Demanding something. Asking him things. Daniel’s been around enough irate drunk people, in enough bars. He’ll remember flashes of this later and think the guy probably asked what the fuck his problem is. 

But he’s just thinking about Armand. About that dank little room, underground where he could hear running water.

He can picture Armand in that room. Daniel sees it in his mind, imagines Armand cross-legged on the damp concrete, his face serene as he sends out the tendrils of his mind. Reaching out and out, listening for him. Scanning the whole world until…

I found you.

The neck wound throbs. And Daniel imagines the clipped auburn hair, the shining fingernails. Perfectly sterile like a corpse, ready for the viewing.

And the flash of pain sends him spiraling. 

Or maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe it’s like detective work. 

He imagines Armand’s fingertips grazing across Daniel’s car in the long term parking, and imagines his soft voice asking questions at the check-in desk. Wonders how many people he had to talk to, how many minds to read, how many clues he followed. Hopping from city to city. And how hard would it be, asking after Daniel. How many nervous, dysfunctional messes had these folks met this week?

For a moment he’s weightless. And he sees white, and then the angry face again, and then the ceiling light. 

“Yes, I love you,” the music says, swelling all around him, blanketing him so thickly that he doesn’t feel anything as he crashes to the floor. “Oh, how I love you. Oh how I love you.”

And someone is shouting, and his glass flew from his hand, and he hears it smash. Maybe a shard nicked his cheekbone, or maybe it was the ice. And maybe he hit his head on the floor, and if he tries to get up he’ll puke.

Other people shouting, too. Someone kicks him. His face was numb a moment ago but now his mouth is hot. He feels his heartbeat in his bottom lip. 

If Armand could see him now…

He cups around the neck wound. Hadn’t he fallen like this when Louis attacked him? Louis had dropped him to the ground. And Armand had…

It’s still faint. His fingernails find the edges of the scabs, as if the memory would be clearer if he could peel them back. Armand had knocked him to the ground. Armand had straddled him. The weight had pushed all the air from Daniel’s lungs. There was a bird’s next under the bed.

The bartender leans over him. Someone else. Some girl. The angry face is gone.

These ones are just annoyed with him. Trying to help him up, but he’s dead weight. Unable to help them. Someone grabs him by the lapel, and a hand curls around his forearm, and his stomach lurches as they drag him upright, but he swallows it back. Doesn’t puke into the sea of faces. 

None of them really seem concerned. More annoyed than anything, and chirping at him in a foreign tongue. And he gets it, again. Been around enough drunk assholes. No one wants a sloppy mess, it kills the mood. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, and all the colors around them are sludge as he finds his footing. Steady hand on his arm as he sways there, waiting for everything to settle. And everyone’s staring. Jukebox flashing pink in the corner of his eye. 

And he should… right. Right. 

Hotel is across the street, he thinks he remembers. 

He pokes his fingers into his jaw, his skin numb, breathing heavy as he stares a the whole picture of the room around him. All the faces, and the sickly orange light. All the cloying human energy pressing around him, so that he thinks he can’t breathe.

And his bag…

No, it’s at the hotel. At the hotel.

He should drink water, but the bartender looks too annoyed with him. 

Bottom lip burns, and he tastes the thin salty river of his own blood. It stings when he touches it, and for a moment he swears he sees Armand in the crowd.

“Wait,” he says. He reaches to hold the person next to him, fingers stiff as he clamps around their shoulder. Unknown language swirling through him. Asking questions. He blinks hard, trying to clear his vision, but maybe he imagined it. He just sees the guy who hit him, rolling his eyes as he lights a cigarette. 

Okay. Okay.

That’s fine.

He shakes his head. Pushes his hair away from his eyes. Tries to act normal as he slips away from all of their concern, focusing hard to walk normal as he heads to the door. 

And out into the rain. Had he known it was raining? He can’t remember. He doesn’t think it was raining when he got here, but he doesn’t remember coming in at all.

The streets are shiny with it. He likes the sound of the cars rolling through puddles, the fuzzy way it splashes into the wheel wells. He likes how it feels on his face when he steps out from under the bar’s awning.

Maybe it’s unsafe out here, in the dark. But he had too much to drink, and…

It’s okay.

He’s down the block before he realizes he’s moving, the buildings a blur. Doesn’t remember deciding to walk, not sure where he’s going. Teeth chattering as the chill of the rain cuts through.

Stomach sloshing again as he stops short. And then he’s sitting, before he can decide to. Not sure why. Landing too hard on the curb, so that it reverberates through his swollen lip. And his sneakers get wet in the gutter as he takes a minute. 

Someone rushes by, swerves around him, running across the street, holding their jacket over their head. And someone else, calmer, who has an umbrella. He wonders how big the storm is, how far Armand is. If he has an umbrella. 

The scabs are softer now, as the rainwater rolls over his skin. And he would flinch as his nail gets a hold, like he does every other time, but it feels too far away. It flakes under his thumbnail and he feels the smear of it, the mess, sticky beneath the cold rain. 

He can’t remember if he’s ever been in a fight.

His fingertips trace gently across the beating pulse in his neck, thick and clumsy and swelling beneath the wound. The source of all of it, and he tries to picture the way the blood sloshes through his body, the way he feels the booze sloshing his belly. The rhythm of it spreads out, and out. In the creeping stomach ache, in his temples, in his busted lip.

Maybe not quite a fight, but he remembers one of the nuns in his school breaking a ruler over his forearm when he was seven. The way it had splintered, the way the pain pulsed like this.

And his professor, spanking him, as he ground his hardon onto the man’s thigh. Steady throbbing that he imagines in stripes of red. 

Armand’s teeth in his throat. And the hunger afterwards. The way the blackness hurt his eyes. How he thought he could see his heartbeat in the nothingness.

It skips up.

He presses a palm to the rough concrete of the curb, maybe like it’s time to get up. Go inside, get dry, but he just sees light, and color, watching the slow streak of it as his weight collapses, as he folds in on himself. And someone else stepping over him, their umbrella blocking out the streetlight for the briefest second as they pass. 

Teeth chattering as he feels the wet sidewalk on his elbow, his bicep, soaking his t-shirt. Because—

Armand took his jacket.

He laughs, and it hurts his mouth. And he presses a hand to his face, skin rubbery like it’s someone else’s. Feels for the cut on his cheekbone. 

Go, he thinks. And the ground doesn’t feel that different from the black room. The damp walls, the humidity of his own piss.

The thought should scare him. It should give him energy. He looks over his shoulder, and sees his hotel down the block. Usually the fear is enough for him, and he imagines another version of himself up, and sober in an instant, and locking the doors and finding somewhere safe and warm.

Not anymore, though. 

This feels okay. 

Whatever. 

[previous day] | [next day]

[milimeters-morales]

stop i listened to it again and fianlly truly felt like I Want You To Know That I’m Awake/i Hope That You’re Alseep is SUCH. a clawcode song, i’m literally thinking about them navigating their relationship post break up (romantic or from best friends) and it’s tearing me up and piecing me back together again this is crazy . ramble below

okay first one! this is honestly such a good part of the song (my fav lol) and is perfect to imagine a confession to, from either side. On Miles’s side it could be about confessing about being the Prowler, and how he needs Ganke to respond in any way so he doesn’t feel like he majorly fucked up in telling him, and for Ganke it could be about confessing his feelings, because silence is like the worst and you’d at least rather someone laugh so you get a chance to ALSO play it off as a joke right??? And both start to doubt themselves the longer a silence goes on!!! and the “you only have so long to capture the feeling before it’s gone” actually refers to SO much. Miles has people leaving him, first it was his old school friends, then his dad died, and now he’s having a hard time making friends at Visions and the one friend he does have he’s obviously not going to want to lose! Think of this as the “leap of faith” moment in their relationship, bc for all Miles knows, Ganke could be dead tomorrow. And on Ganke’s side, you can see it in a time where he’s already in the know about Miles being the Prowler, and wants to confess before Miles gets himself killed out there !!! because that’s a very real fear to have!! and this circles back to feeling stupider and stupider, because he’s thinking “oh no does Miles think i doubt him now? or that he’s so weak he’ll be killed?” in some way. okay next!

now i’m really stretching here, but the whole bleeding thumb leaving a trail? this could mean he hasn’t healed from his father’s death, and who could blame him? it’s an open wound that’s having obvious effects with him becoming the prowler and more rough around the edges (though that’s more bc of the hell that is Earth-42 after Jeff’s death rather than JUST Jeff’s death), traumatized, probably distrusting of MANY people, and trailing = leaving evidence of change, you see what i’m saying? And there’s a denial about it all too, “for some reason” like bro you KNOW the reason. And the rest, “i felt sick and i didn’t know what to do” GOD THIS IS SO. right so he’s lost, he definitely isn’t going about coping in the healthiest way, but to him it seems like all he CAN do. And that last part, could apply to his relationship with his mother as well! very likely to be about his guilt over not telling them about being the prowler/stuff he does as the prowler bc he knows they wouldn’t approve of some of it and would be worried sick all the time.

OH MY GOD????…… okay. we don’t know shit about Ganke much less Ganke M. but i’ll keep the whole “Ganke’s parents are divorced” thing and apply it here. So you have Miles, his parents loved each other dearly and were still separated because his dad was killed (which could happen to him, risks of being the prowler and all) and then you have Ganke, who has divorced parents (another thing that could happen but as a breakup since they aren’t married). And you KNOW how divorces can affect a child’s mental state growing up!!! “Cause we’re not like them” this is a casual sentence that couples in love say a lot, how they vow to never be like their parents, but then the “we are nothing like them” comes off as defensive and trying to convince yourself so you don’t have to face the truth, that you might be just like the people you didn’t want to end up as!!!! dead and/or broken up!!! Miles is a vigilante because he knows the system is fucked up and vows to not end up like his dad, dead for a system that didn’t care about him, but he could end up dead anyway because the system STILL doesn’t care about him!! Ganke doesn’t want to be in a bad marriage and divorce so he tries to love Miles fully and work through everything together, but he DOESN’T KNOW!!! HE ISNT READY!!!

AND IT ALL CIRCLES BACK. “I TRIED TO HARD TO FIND THE RUGHT WORDS. ITS A MATTER OF TIMING” GANKE PROBABLY DOESNT KNOW HOW GOOD HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORKS BC OF BEING A CHILD OF DIVORCE. HE PROBABLY FEELS LIKE MILES WILL LEAVE LIKE HIS OTHER PARENT DID AND HE’LL JUST KEEP LOSING PEOPLE SO HE NEEDED TO CONFESS QUICK. “WHICH WAS BLEEDING FOR SOME REASON. LEAVING A TRAIL OF RED BLOSSOMS ON THE NAPKIN.” BOTH GANKE AND MILES HAVENT HEALED FROM RESPECTIVE PARENT STUFF. MILES KEEPS LEAVING HIS BLOOD BEHIND BOTH LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY. GANKE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM OR WHAT HE WANTS BUT KNOWS WHAT HE DOESNT WANT TO DO (END UP LIKE HIS PARENTS) WHICH ISNT A GOOD STARTING POINT FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP AND IT SHOWS IT LEAVES A TRAIL. “I FELT SICK AND I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO” THEYRE 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

slams my head on the table and screams

[kamandzak]

Excerpt | 1,344

Summary: A journal, written by Will Taylor in second person, breaks down the 1,344 hours from the beginning of the end to that very end. The hours are spent shooting the breeze with best friend Sam Tasker as they telling stories of their friendship, revealing secrets as Will's normal slowly unravels. Context: On day 34 of the story, Will has to explain with great shame to his best friend that he has kicked his dating app boyfriend out after an instance of DV. We also read a journal entry where he explains the events that led him into the foster care system.

Day 86 lay here until you can feel me

“Is that you out there? Hurry up and get inside, I have a pressing topic to cover today.”

Bruised and aching in more ways than one, I had lost the ability to put on a façade and take life for what it was. The mask was broken and scattered around the townhome I had kicked Aaron out of the night before. Not even an energized Sam voice could ease my rattled brain.

     “We can skip today if you want,” Leah said as she appeared seemingly out of the blue. She seemed more involved than at the beginning, or maybe she was always there and I was finally out of my own ass. “I can tell him.”

     “That’ll just make it worse.”

     “What worse?”

I was only going to talk about the breakup and violence once and I was definitely not about to have you learn it through a nurse.

   Through the door I pushed.

   “We need to make sure you aren’t left completely friendless when I’m gone, Tayl-. Holy shit. There’s no way…. Did… did he finally leave?”

If I was going to cry in front of you it was somehow more courteous to do so talking about Aaron’s freak out.

   “Kicked him out.” Lip quivers were acceptable in a place and circumstance like mine but there weren’t enough millennia for me to rewrite my personal expectations.

   “Really?!” For a second your face lit up with pride and surprise. Even more reason to pretend everything was okay; you deserved good things. “That’s-. Will?” For Sam this was a common test to give. I’d either make eye contact and break, not make eye contact and break. What I wouldn’t be doing was holding myself together. There was no reason to.

   “Remember when I told you about meeting Calvin?”

   “Yeah of course.”

   “And how I ended up living with him?” Your eyes darkened and I could see the gears starting to turn. Maybe you were smarter than I thought and could put it together.

   “I remember.”

   “I thought it’d be different by now. Experiences like that are supposed to rewire us, right? Why do we go through shit if we can’t take the lessons and make sure it doesn’t happen again? What have I been doing for the last decade if I haven’t learned anything?”

……

Austin knew what he was doing. I’ll stand by my belief that abusive people are also some of the smartest. He only fucked up once. Of course it wound up saving my life.

He begged and cried the morning it happened, trying every trick in his arsenal of manipulative phrases to guilt me into keeping his lapse in judgement a secret. He knew he was about to face the music. He knew that he unfortunately raised a smart son.

The begging and crying – voidless, tearless, feeling-less – stopped when it was clear he wouldn’t get his way. Instead it flipped to more anger. More anger, more threats, more gaslighting. Blame, shame, guilt… the Wheel of Fortune ticker spun round and round until I said the words that told him he won.

“I have to go to school. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

He must have been having a bad day outside of what was going down with me because he let me go. He had a history of not letting me go to school after he fell off the deep end. Again, smart man. Smart men don’t let their victims out of their sight where they can reveal their truths.

          Though of course if the victim has been under the thumb of their abuser for their entire living life, the flight risk is far less. I didn’t know what would happen if I disobeyed him. What I did know is that I didn’t ever want to.

          As Stockholm Syndrome’d as high school Will was, something sent me straight from the bus to what textbooks call a Trusted Adult. My US Government teacher had been on my case for months, trying to show me that he knew more than I thought and that he could help. The way he spoke of his own shadowy past and difficult childhood told me what he knew as he bared all to try and get a scared kid to realize how not alone he was.

Straight to the classroom I went, where I told Mr. Coulie that it had happened. We were in the front office before I could dig through my brain and remember the reason Austin hit me in the first place.

……

   “We were fighting. I don’t even remember what it was about. It was like he woke up yelling. I can’t remember if it was about you or not but then-.”

   “Sit,” you interrupted and I obeyed. Your hand grabbed mine, tighter than I thought possible.

   “I don’t think I felt it until after. I don’t know if he hit me multiple times. I couldn’t tell you. I just… I’m sore and I can’t believe I’m doing this again. He’s… he was a terrible man. And the fact that I was so, so shitty to you while you were so sick all because I wanted to keep putting myself through his bullshit it’s… it’s shameful and cruel. If I had just told you about him we would have argued before my eyes were opened and I would have been around at the beginning and we wouldn’t have to do all of this.”

   “This?”

   “You wouldn’t have to tell me all the terrible things because I would have been there with you. For you. And instead I snuck around like some sort of glutton for punishment and…. And I let him! I let him keep me from you. I let him get under my skin and stay there. Maybe unconsciously I knew it would end badly. I want to rage right now but it’s displaced because in the end the only person to blame is myself.”

You pulled me to you and I curled up against your thinning side and wept, large swaths of my arms bruised, my back sore from Aaron’s fury.

   “Whether you were a good friend or not, you never deserve to be hit.” Your voice broke on the last word and I shook harder. “Just like whether you were a good son or not, Austin had no right. You’re right that I would have seen through his crap very quickly and you’re also right that I would have been annoying and fought for your safety. But it’s in the past and I don’t want to spend any more time thinking about what a piece of shit Aaron is. He’s taken so much already. You’re safe now.” Your hands held fistfuls of my hair. “So I need you to lay here until you can feel me next to you.”

   “Not enough….”

   “Hmm?”

   “Not enough time.”

   “I think we have just enough. I have just enough.”

[x-ceirios-x]

City of Glass, Chapter 6: Bad Blood (ALT)

alternate version from rowan's point of view

please see the masterlist for notes about this series/collection of works

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“You should never have come. I know I told you it’s because it’s not safe for you here, but that wasn’t true. The truth is that I don’t want you here because you’re rash and thoughtless and you’ll mess everything up. It’s just how you are. You’re not careful, Clary.”

Rowan stared at Jace in shock. For someone who was her greatest defender when they first met her, he was being terrible. He was the one who convinced them she wasn’t going to be too much trouble, and he was almost right. She was trouble, but it wasn’t her fault. And if she hadn’t appeared, they wouldn’t have had all the clues they had to find the Mortal Cup, they wouldn’t have the information on Valentine that they did, and they wouldn’t have found such an endearing friend that made them feel like everything was right in the world. He was a horrible, horrible person and they felt a pit of guilt in their stomach for ever allowing Clary to see this harsh, unfeeling side of Jace that they experienced. 

“Mess…everything…up?” Clary asked, voice small and reserved. She didn’t look ready to cry; she looked blank, like she wasn’t processing what he just said. 

“Oh, Jace,” Isabelle said like she was trying to comfort him. It angered them. He didn’t look at her, not at any of them. His gaze was fixed on Clary. 

“I am so getting a headache,” they muttered, wanting to leave the room as quickly as possible. They couldn’t leave Clary to the dogs, though—Alec and Isabelle surely wouldn’t back her up. Based on the conversation so far, they didn’t trust either of them to. “Can we stop yelling at Clary for just trying to save her mother?” they asked, trying to keep level-headed through the insults flying. 

Jace didn’t move. “Is the vampire rubbing off on you so much that you’ve got a crush now too?” Jace asked, barely sparing a glance at them.

The words hit them in the chest. It felt like a wave in the ocean, knocking them off balance and dragging them into the water. They felt their chest tighten, a feeling they couldn’t describe other than rage bubbling through them.

“Fucking bastard,” they muttered, lunging for him. They wanted to punch that blank stare off of his face, maybe break his nose. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he certainly deserved it. Their feelings about Clary were none of his problem. More seriously, they couldn't believe that he’d mention something they told him in confidence months ago, when they were together. It wasn’t his secret to share—people in the Clave barely respected them enough to use their middle name (and most didn’t), never mind what their reputation would be if they found out they liked women, too. He said he didn’t care, but his attitude was clearly different based on the things he said the night of their argument and the nasty breakup. They thought about all the people who could have heard his comment—Aline, Sebastian, that Andy girl, and what if the adults were all home? Did the Lightwoods hear that, or their aunt and uncle? Did their father?

They didn’t have the chance to hit him, as satisfying as it would have been. Almost like he was anticipating it, Alec caught their wrist. “Hallway,” he said with little room for argument. It was when he grabbed them by the shoulders and spun them that the realization of everything dawned on them—catching Jace with Aline, the fight with her, defending Clary, fighting with them all. The fighting never stopped. 

They stumbled forward as they heard the door click closed behind them. Luckily, they fell forward into the wall and it helped keep them upright. When they turned, they expected to see Alec looking over them, preparing to give them a lecture that could rival Maryse herself. They’d been fighting with Alec because of their on-again-off-again with Jace and his complicated feelings for his parabatai; everything between them was in a tense peace, but they were walking on eggshells wondering when the next argument would start. They tried not to spend too much time alone with him. 

Instead, when they opened their eyes after taking a deep breath, he was standing in the middle of the hallway, looking somewhere between shocked, hurt, and confused. They crossed their arms over their chest, trying to curl up into a ball and disappear from the world. Their eyes fell to the floor, not wanting to provoke him into a fight too. 

The next thing they knew, Alec very gently tugged them forward and wrapped them in a tight, enveloping hug. They relaxed after a moment, arms falling to their sides, then wrapping around his middle. The pressure felt like a breath of fresh air, despite how contradicting that sounded. 

“I’ve got you,” he muttered, voice tight in anxiety. They didn’t speak for another long moment, just feeling the adrenaline wear off—exhaustion set in and they leaned heavily on him. The other thing that hit them much harder was the overwhelming urge to cry. They didn’t cry frequently; for a long time, they thought the ability was lost to years of training and abandonment. This proved otherwise. 

Alec pulled away after a long moment, seemingly relaxed more himself. He didn’t entirely let them go, just pulled away enough he could look them in the eyes. “I wish you would have told me,” he said, though he didn’t sound hurt—just pleading. They’d seen this muted panic in him the time Max broke his arm and he was powerless to do anything, as he was powerless now. There was nothing he could do to fix the pain Jace caused them. Alec held the side of their face and spoke again. “I know things are scary and I know you can’t be entirely yourself at the Institute, let alone here. But whenever you need somewhere to breathe, to just be yourself for five minutes because it gets so overwhelming trying to be what everyone expects of you all the damn time—I am here.”

They didn’t respond, only hugged him again. He soothingly ran his hand up and down their back in a soft, repetitive motion. 

Rowan didn’t have control of the half scream, half sob that left their mouth. It was muffled by Alec’s shirt, but they knew everyone on the other side of the door heard them. They felt utterly destroyed, like someone had taken out their heart and broken it into tiny pieces, and told them to figure out how to stitch it back together. But there were pieces missing, maybe lost or simply turned to dust, they were so small. It wasn’t the first time they’d felt like this, but the last time was eight years ago when their mother died and their father dropped them in New York a week after the funeral. 

He cradled their head as they cried. For such a strong warrior, they’d always noted how gentle Alec was; with Jensen and Max, with Isabelle, with young Downworlders they met, with them, he was easy to be around. And so, so caring, it melted whatever of their heart they had left. 

He didn’t speak for a long time, but they knew they couldn’t stay there forever. They wanted to, though—they wanted to stay there, where Alec could shield them from whatever bad things in the world were going to hurt them, even if it meant his own parabatai. “I have to go take care of things,” he muttered after a long moment, slightly muffled from his face buried in their hair. He, almost unwillingly, pulled away. “I can come find you when I’m done with them, if you want.”

Rowan dropped their arms from around him, feeling suddenly cold. They shook their head at his offer, quickly wiping away their tears, trying to be rid of any evidence of them crying. “I’d, uh…I’d like to be alone for a little. Collect myself.”

Alec nodded. “I can do that.” He took a step towards the door, and placed his hand on the doorknob, and turned back to them. “We’ve got this,” he said, a small, encouraging smile evident on his face. They tried to smile back. Satisfied with their attempt, he entered the room again. 

They felt a wave rush over them—it felt cold, but it wasn’t that their skin felt it, they weren’t cold to the touch. That overwhelmed, tight-chested feeling came back the moment Alec closed the door behind him and they felt the tears slip from their eyes. They didn’t have the energy or inclination to go back to their room and chose to stay put; they leaned against the wall, back against it, and counted. It was something they’d done since they were a child—focus on the numbers, picture them in your mind. It gave them something to focus on. When regular numbers didn’t help, they would do something like add two and double the next number, to make them think about anything other than the situation in front of them. 

1, 5, 14, 32, 68, 140, 284, 572, 1,148…

[enchantestuff]

rekindle - rbr sebastian vettel

in which after a long time apart, you and Sebastian rekindle your love for one another in the least romantic place you could think of - a sweaty, packed nightclub

NOT MY GIF!!

warnings: public sex (ofc), fingering, teasing, lowkey angst at the start, nicknames, uncomfy ex, sebastain Vettel deserves a warning himself, happy sinning

taglist: @theringers​ @forestviper201 @icemanhoneybadger​ @formulamei @findthelightinyourlife

3.1k words

You smirked as your eyes met from across the club for what felt like the hundredth time that night. You hadn't seen him in over a year, the last time you were even in the same country as him had ended up with you climbing into a taxi, speeding away to the airport and him standing half naked in his driveway, wishing for the car to turn around and end his worst nightmare.

The relationship between you and Sebastsian was a complicated one to say the least. You had grown up with each other, your families vacationed together every second summer and you spent many christmases together. It was only when you got older that you started to really appreciate Sebastian.

Daydreams of what it would be like to spend a night in bed with him began to fill your free moments. Images of the two of you tangled in bed was once something that you could only dream about, but that dream certainly became a reality one unforgettable night in Italy.

It was during a celebratory dinner after yet another win that he had leaned over to talk to you. His lips brushed against the side of your neck and goosebumps had risen all over your skin, you cursed yourself for your reaction but soon began praising your childish antics once Sebastian finally caught onto how you felt about him.

The few words of “do i make you nervous, liebe?” led to the two of you making out in the corridor. That celebratory dinner escalated to a friends with benefits situation which set off a more than complicated relationship between the two of you where feelings were of course present, but stubbornness from both sides refused to let them be out in the open.

Your feelings for one another eventually escaped when he got into a nasty crash in the middle of a race. You ran up to him the minute he stormed into the garage, tears welling in your eyes as you crushed into a hug. He held you with just as much force and whispered into your ear what you had been waiting for months to hear.

He told you that you had been the only thing on his mind when he crashed into the wall and he didn't want to go a minute longer without telling you how he really felt about you

As much as you wanted things to be great with Sebastain, your relationship was unfortunately not plain sailing from there and the media had a bring role to play in your downfall. They wouldn't leave him or you alone, constantly following the two of you wherever you went and even going as far as sending mail to your shared home. It was the media that drove you to leave the man you adored and move to another country in search for a new career and a new life away from the public eye.

You stared at him now, unable to tear your eyes away from his beautiful frame. He looked as good as ever and you knew deep down that you would probably never see him again. So against your brain telling you not to, you engraved every detail of his face into your memory, not wanting to let him go just yet.

You felt horrible for leaving him and strongly believed that he hated you for abandoning him. You wouldn't have blamed him if he did, you sometimes hated yourself for that decision. So you kept your distance from him all night, repeatedly telling yourself that if he did not harbor any bad emotions towards you, then he would approach you himself.

To tell the truth, you were too embarrassed to go up to him yourself, too full of guilt to face him after what you had done. But when he made eye contact with you as he pulled a girl into his body, something inside you snapped and you found yourself being dragged into an all too familiar game of cat and mouse with him.

Your night of teasing had officially begun the minute he kissed the brunette's neck, refusing to break your stare as his hands ran up and down her hips. You decided it was your turn to reciprocate the teasing and pulled a random, but still handsome, man towards you to dance. Holding your gaze with him, you allowed the man to grip onto your hips and sway from side to side. Your ass pressing against him with every beat of the music.

You maintained eye contact with him as he chatted with multiple women, his hands resting dangerously low on their backs as he smirked in your direction, you hated how much you loved his little games.

You decided to take a dance break and stepped away from the claustrophobic dance floor. Moving towards the less packed bar, you leaned against the contour top as you ordered yet another drink. The feeling of hands wrapping around your hips didn’t surprise you, nor did the hot breath fanning across the back of your neck. You were used to the warmth of Seb’s body by now and after so much time apart, you still recognized his touch.

“Quite a show you put on back there,” he muttered, gesturing to the bartender for another drink before turning his attention back towards you. You kept your face forward, staring at the variety of liquor stacked on the shelves as Sebastian flirted with you in your ear. He was still positioned behind you, which you saw as the perfect opportunity to press your ass against his crotch.

The tightening of his grip only fueled you to press yourself further into him in hopes that you would emit an even stronger reaction from him, and boy did you get what you wanted. One of his hands rested underneath your breast and as he emitting a small amount of pressure against you, he forced you into him.

No longer leaning against the counter, you could now feel the entirety of his body pressed against you. Every vein and muscle. Every curve and dent of his body, Still, that didn't stop you from wiggling your bum against him.

“Are you trying to turn me on right now, love, or are you really that fucking oblivous?”

You twisted your head to finally look at him, momentarily taken aback by his pure beauty before regaining your confidence again. “That depends,” you hummed, purposely brushing your lips against his neck as you spoke, “Is it working?”

His hold on you tightened and somehow he pulled you even closer to him, allowing you to feel every inch and vein of his hardened cock. “Someones excited,” you smiled, immediately freezing up when you caught sight of your ex boyfriend standing next to you.

He was the man you had been with before Seb and it was safe to say he had completely broken your heart.

Confusion immediately filled Sebs body at your reaction, fearful he had done something wrong he moved to stand beside you, holding onto your bicep as he looked you in your eyes. “Are you alright, darling?” he questioned, his eyes bouncing back and forth as he searched your face for any indication of pain.

“Yeah its - “

“Y/N! Great to see you.” Dread immediately filled your body at the infamous voice, you felt yourself go rigid in Sebastian's grip and desperately wished for your ex to leave the two of you alone.

“Who's this douche?” Seb whispered in your ear, trying to relive some of your tension and comfort you in what seemed to be a terribly uncomfortable situation.

“Brad, hey,” you muttered, you grabbed hold of Sebastian's hand that was previously sprawled on the bar countertop, using the warmth of his touch as a confidence booster to finally turn around and face the brutal ex.

“How have you been?” he asked, refusing to even glance at the Redbull driver next to you, focusing his hungry gaze on you and you only.

You sighed deeply at his attempt of small talk. Could he not just say hello and move on? Did he really need to interrupt your night.

Sebastian kept a close eye on you throughout your short conversation. A sense of protectiveness filled him at your rigid stance, he knew you could handle the situation yourself but he couldn't help but want to aid you. He felt the need to get involved. So he did.

He didn’t let you answer the man's next question of what you had recently been up to, instead he grabbed hold of the side of your face, his fingers dipping into the nape of your neck as he pulled you into him. He grinned smugly at the worried glance you threw his way before connecting your lips together.

The kiss was hesitant at first.

Taking into account this was your first shared kiss together since the breakup, it felt both natural and unusual to be kissing him again, but as the seconds passed you found yourself relaxing in his hold and began kissing him back with much more force.

You lost yourself in the moment, the idea of your ex boyfriend watching you make out with your other ex boyfriend didn't even cross your mind. You solely focused on the way Sebastian’s lips felt against yours after such a long time apart. He was addicting.

Your eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, blushing slightly at the sheepish look he threw your exes way. “What were you saying, mate?” he confidently asked.

The feeling of his palm burned against your cheek and you couldn't even bring yourself to look at Brad, but you didn't need to as he just stumbled away, clearly intimidated by Sebastian.

There was no need for you to say anything to Seb - if the way you were teasing him earlier on in the evening was of no indication to how you felt about him - then the lustful look you were giving him now certainly was.

He immediately pulled you back into him, your lips reconnecting in a lustful kiss. With no more awkwardness surrounding the two of you, you found yourself enjoying it even more.

Moving one of his hands down your body, Sebastian forcefully squeezed your bum which emitted a gasp from you, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth, further deepening the kiss. He pressed his body against yours and your hands raked across it, feeling his muscles flex against your hands.

You moaned into his mouth the minute he dug his hips into you, the feeling of his body so close to you bringing you back to when the two of you dated. Confusion filled you when he pulled away, ending your lovely make out session and disappointing you tremendously. “Don't start what you can't finish, love” he warned, leaning down to scatter kisses across your chest, nipping and licking at every exposed area.

“Who says I can't finish this?” you remarked, grinning at the way his eyebrows rose at your statement.

“Look around us, darling” he stood up straighter, craning his neck to glance from side to side, taking into account the multiple people surrounding the two of you. Hundreds of people filled the room, hundreds of eyes that could possibly witness something. Hundreds of reasons why the two of you shouldn't get ahead of yourselves. But then again, when he looked back at you and the playful pout that crossed your features - he found himself making up a hundred different reasons as to why it was such a brilliant idea.

“But then again,” he continued, leaning closer to you in order to whisper in your ear, “that's never stopped us before.”

A shiver ran up your spine at his words, images flashing through your mind of previous encounters the two of you had in the most inappropriate areas. Cutting your daydream short, Sebastian grabbed hold of your hand and guided you up the stairs to the more secluded vip area.

The bouncer merily glanced at Sebastian before lifting the red velvet rope and letting the two of you in. Nodding a small thanks to the man, he continued his journey into the dimly lit area, a content hum leaving his lips at the sight of a small booth in the corner.

He sat down on the plush seats and you fell down to sit on top of him, the lower half of your body covered by the wooden table in front of you. Sebastian wasted no time in kissing your neck, unable to detach himself from your skin for more than a few moments.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder, watching the small group of people ahead of you dancing and laughing at each other caused a blush to quickly creep up your cheeks. The thought if anyone witnessing your antics both embarrassing and exciting you.

“Are you sure you want to do this, liebe?” Seb questioned, he placed his finger on your cheek and forced you to look at him as he spoke. “Because once we start, I won't be able to stop.”

“And why would I ever want you to stop?” you shot back, pressing your bum further into him to prove your point. Sebs eyes scanned the area, having seemingly decided the risk of getting caught was worth it, he ran his fingers up your thigh, under your skirt and into your underwear.

His other hand trailed the opposite direction, moving up your body to gently squeeze your breast. You arched your back at the sensation, your ass moving further into him and a harsh squeeze being delivered as a result.

Slipping a finger into you, his hand flew away from your breast to clamp over your mouth, muffling the sudden moan that escaped you. “You have to be quiet, sweetheart. There's people around us,” he reminded.

He littered gentle kisses up your neck and you could feel his smirk against your skin at the shaky breath you let out the minute he slipped a second finger into you. “I don't think anyone else deserves to hear your moans, darling.”

You hummed against his hand, wetness pooling at his words and your eyes fluttering closed as his thumb began to circle your clit. “Move up for a second, liebe,” he demanded once he removed his fingers from you. Having no other option but to comply, you braced your hands against the table and stood up on shaky legs. You patiently waited as Sebastain undid his belt, the sound of the metal coming undone bringing a newfound wetness to your core.

“Ready?” he questioned, moving his hand up and down your thigh to comfort you. You nodded your head, biting harshly on your lip, you quickly glanced behind you and yet another shaky breath tumbled from your lips at the sight you beheld.

Sebastain was sprawled across the couch with his dick barely covered by your body. The sight of him shamelessly sitting there did something to you and before you lost your confidence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto him.

“Keep quiet now,” he reminded once you took all of him in. Your hands gripped onto the table in front of you, your knuckles quickie turning white as you used it as leverage to start moving.

The sound of your skin hitting against sebastians was muffled by the laughter of the crowd and the loudness of the msic booming across the grand club. “I'm trying,” you grunted.

You slowly bounced on him, trying to keep your movements small and inconspicuous to the people around you. But Sebastian could only last so long without needing to take over. A moan accidentally escaped you once he began thrusting his own hips upwards to meet yours. In response to your foolishness, he grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking not so gently on it as a warning and forcing you to look at the dim lights hanging above you instead of the people ahead of you.

Holding onto your body he quickly steadied you, forcing you to halt your movements as a random man walked up to the two of you. You shifted in his hold and attempted to reposition yourself to look more natural towards the stranger. You just wanted it to seem like you were cuddling the driver, not bouncing on his dick.

One of your arms wrapped around his neck while the other laid on his chest. You spared a quick glance downwards, making sure your skirt covered everything before looking back up at the man. Sebastian greeted him, admittedly not poilelty, but he greeted him nevertheless. It only took a few seconds for the two of you to realise he was a fan and by the looks of it, would do anything to hold a conversation with the Sebastian Vettel.

You couldn't help but move on his lap, the need for friction overwhelming you after staying put for several minutes. You slowly began rolling your hips, your heart racing at the sudden release of pressure and also at the fact you were grinding on him with a fan of his only a few feet away.

Sebastian cleared his throat, trying desperately to pay attention to the man in front of him and not on how good you felt clenching around him. His hips unintentionally runted up into you, muttering a quick curse under his breath he grimaced at the man, cutting his sentence short as he gestured towards you. “If you wouldn't mind,” he sympathetically commented.

“Right, right sorry,” he mumbled, “Enjoy your night.”

He soon scrambled away from view and Sebastian began carelessly thrusting into you again. You returned to your original position, now resting your head against the table, thankful for the pleasure filling your whole body. You could feel a bead of sweat forming on the nape of your neck and were almost certain you looked a mess but you couldn't have cared as you got nearer and nearer to your peak.

This new angle allowed Sebastian to take control of your activities. He guided your hips back and forth, not paying attention to the movement of the table nor the attention that the two of you could possibly bring your way. All he wanted was to bring you to your release. “Are you going to cum for me, darling?” he whispered. You nodded against the table, the coolness of the wood reliving your flushed cheeks as you felt the knot begin to release in your stomach.

You moved your hand to grip onto his thigh, “I'm gonna-” you mumbled, unable to finish your sentence as he gripped onto the back of your neck and forced you to sit up straight. His fingers immediately fell down your throat in a poor attempt to muffle your moans. You whimpered loudly at his show of dominance, your attempts to keep quiet failing profusely as he hurried his movements.

His fingers moved further down your throat as your walls clenched around him. Before you knew it you were spilling yourself against Sebastain. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head and heat filling your body as he followed in your actions.

[kunimikat]

How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

[tojisun]

I would like to bill you for the next few years worth of my therapy sessions after reading how we break. I live in the US so healthcare coverage is shit.

Ok but for real tho my heart broke for y/n and everyone involved. Nobody was a bad person, it was just a situation where heartbreak was inevitable. But like, at least toji still has someone, but y/n lost everyone. And poor Megumi, just a kid, but he hates seeing someone he loves leaving and the guilt he feels for something that’s not his fault—

That ending was perfect though, because like, the most unlikely element to this angsty, sorrowful story is GOJO, the human furby with a larger than life personality, making an appearance, and yet it’s weirdly perfect?? Does gojo know right away that y/n is the one? Does he approach her right away while she’s discussing her breakup with her ex (an objectively bad decision but one that is also in character w him). How does their relationship start? How do they grow closer and fall in love?? Sorry for bombarding you with questions!!

GENUINELY CRYINF WHEN YOU MENTIONED US COVERAGE AHDJWKLE HELPP

but thank you so so much for liking the fic!!

and yes!! it’s a shit situation that pitted two people whose love are just vastly different.

toji loved you, but his love ran out. and you love him, but it’s a love not meant to be.

the relationship was beautiful and your time as a family with megumi is a blessing in its own right, but it ended and that’s that.

megumi, himself, would know what it meant losing you. he may be young and his mom may have returned, but when neither of his biological parents were there to take care of him, you filled in the spaces.

megumi may not be your blood but you loved him as dearly, and no one will ever take that from megumi.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

and yes!!! gojo’s appearance is much needed!

i am SCREAMING at you calling gojo a fucking long furby fuck i think i have a pic of that hold on-

okok op said no repost so i can’t repost ofc but here’s the link pls give a like to the beauty of long furby gojo hdhshsnab

satoru would not know you are the one, mostly because he does not know what love is. no one’s ever taught him what love is or even showed him love.

friendship is different because, yeah, he wants to hang out with you the same way he feels for suguru and shoko but he doesn’t want to smash his lips on theirs. i mean he experimented with them, sure, but he never felt such a strong pull as he does with you.

his heart had beat so fast when he saw you, but he doesn’t know why. and when gojo satoru doesn’t know what the fuck is going on in his body, he does what any normal person wouldn’t do: he goes to the damn hospital.

suguru tells him he’s got a crush but gojos don’t get crushes (they’re not allowed to) so satoru doesn’t listen to him and visits the doctor. suguru and shoko are there for support (and to tell him “i told you so” when the dr marks his heart burn as love sickness), and as always, suguru and shoko are right and satoru’s wrong.

satoru, in all his shining white haired menace glory, doesn’t know how to cope.

but that’s fine. it’s to his stumbling affection that you both relearn what love is. together.

ok but back to answering your ask:

￫ when he met you at the diner, he actually does approach you. it’s more of a “hi, what’s your name?” situation that kickstarted his crush.

￫ he usually lacks social cues (blame the way of his upbringing) but he’s also not dense. he knows you and toji are going through something.

￫ also, shoko and suguru are his voices of reason. they help him through his feelings for you.

to be honest, i was going to leave how yn and satoru’s relationship started to the readers but here’s a vague rundown of what i imagine (it doesn’t have to be this way, it’s just what i think happened):

￫ after the scene in the diner, it takes a month before you two meet again. you meet at the cafe close to jujutsu high.

￫ it was afternoon, satoru’s classes have long ended and his friends have departed for the day when you came in, eyes studying the shop in amazement.

￫ satoru freezes from where he sat, throat immediately parched even as he’s sucking on his milkshake.

￫ you meet his eyes. for a moment, satoru’s afraid that you wouldn’t recognize him but then you send a smile his way and satoru feels sweetness flood him whole. it was far better than all the desserts he just devoured.

￫ you were about to walk to a different table when satoru beckons you to his. when you sat down and exchanged greetings, he helps you order. it’s a secret menu option, one that you absolutely liked.

￫ he asks you why you’re in the area. you tell him you were just looking around, but in reality you were there because you do not want to go home and you do not want to return to the diner. satoru knows you are lying but he does not probe.

￫ this is how you guys start meeting. once a week, you come to the shop, smiling every time you see satoru waiting for you.

￫ sometimes suguru and shoko are there, sometimes it’s just the two of you. either ways, it’s always fun hanging out with satoru.

￫ once, satoru asked if you want to do something else other than eat at the cafe, but he’s still in school and you do not want any scandals or issues so you say no. satoru reluctantly agrees, thus you two spend the year in the tiny cafe, trying out all their menus and secret menus.

so you see, life with satoru was mundane but not boring. he craved normalcy (craved what it is to live just to live, and to love just to love) and he found it in you. the humanity coursing though your veins ground him, and satoru realizes that he’s never felt more alive until he met you.

in a prev ask, i answered that this is how you will know you are in love. and you will not regret confessing to him.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

AAHHH NO DONT BE SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK!! I ENJOY READING YOUR BRAINWORMS AND RESPONDING TO THEM!!!

i dont know if ive managed to answer your questions right, but hopefully i did!!

[finelinevogue]

um the one shot based off of champagne problems was bloody amazing !!! please do a part 2 😩

the amount of requests i got for a part two was scarily high, so here it is;

Harry woke up from another nightmare.

His skin sweating and his hair messy, he had to double check his room and make sure he was safe. He’s bolted up so fast in bed that he was worried he’d knock himself unconscious. When he did a survey of his surroundings and laid back down onto his bed, he cried.

He cried and cried and cried.

Harry let his eyes close and recall that same evening he was having nightmares over.

I couldn’t feel anything.

I was numb to the touch. I felt nauseous. Light-headed. I needed someone to pinch me that this was actually happening, but I was worried I wouldn’t feel anything at all because I knew it was happening. It had happened.

Y/N had left. She’d gone. No, is what she’d said.

The whole in my heart from where Y/N had filled made me feel completely empty and useless. I wouldn’t find a purpose now. I always thought it was going to be Y/M, I was so sure. I thought she’d been sure. Yet, i’d ruined it and now she was gone and all that was left of her was the dark void in my burnt out chest.

My hands shook as I reached into my jacket pocket to pull out the ring box. It’s black velvet coating was dusty, because it was the my grandfathers. It was supposed to mean something, because she meant everything. Yet, she left me. She said no. The one most important person in my life and she’d left me. And fuck did I need her so bad. She was my fucking other half and my soulmate but she’d gone. She said no.

I threw the box into the wall, watching the ring bounce out and onto the floor. I screamed. I let my pain release itself upon me. I wanted to feel something to help me release i’m not as numb as I thought. I crashed onto the floor, knees banging hard on the wooden floorboards. I cried. Eyes stinging and mouth screaming my heartbreaking cries. I was in so much pain and yet had never felt so empty.

I noticed my mum and Gemma run up the stairs first. Mum dropped down next to me whilst Gemma collected the ring and the box, piecing it back together like it wasn’t broken - like it could just be fixed. No. This was unfixable. I was broken.

“Harry breathe hun.” Mum spoke softly and repeated over and over again. I wasn’t short of breathe, I was just extremely numb. Empty. So much pain though. I appreciated that she wasn’t telling me it was okay, but we both knew that was far from the truth. My person, my favourite person, had left me just like that. So quickly.

5 minutes. That’s all it had taken.

A couple of other guests came rushing upstairs, desperate to see a broken man. They were most likely curious as to what had happened to the surprise, but there was none. No surprise, because there was no engagement. It was over and I was done. Finished. Why bother trying to love any more when all it ends is in heartbreak? It must be me. I just must be unlovable.

My hands shook and my cries continued, but it was a friend’s voice that brought me out of my trance.

“She would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame shes fucked in the head.”

I saw red.

How dare they speak about her that way. How far they treat get that way. Y/N may have left me but my heart still fucking beat for her. It bled for her. I was burning for her. I needed her, fuck I needed her.

I got up and ran down the stairs, ignoring everybody. I picked up a bottle of champagne and ran out of the front door. I popped the cork, sending it flying and I walked. I walked and walked and walked. I drank and walked.

The bottle was half empty when I made it onto her driveway.

I didn’t even realise I was here until I was here. I put the bottle down on the floor and straightened my tie, making sure I looked presentable for when I got my already broken heart broken even more. I was ready this time. But I fucking wasn’t. I couldn’t even raise my hand to the doorbell, crying before even lifting it. I cried for me. I cried my shitty heart. I cried because I love Y/N so much. She is my everything.

“H-Harry?” Her voice shot through my body and sent tingles running all up my spine.

I spun around to see her standing half-way down her driveway and eyes so heavy from crying. Her eyes were as bloodshot red as her dress. She looked perfect. Absolutely stunning. Even looking so broken and so…sad, she turned my world on it’s axis and kept me spinning. Looking at her I knew she was my home. My comfort. My person. It was just so hard to understand how 5 minutes could’ve made her feel anything but that for me.

“Y/N.” I tried to say her name firmly, but my voice cracked at the sight of her so broken. At the sight of us so broken.

“Harry w-what are you doing here?” She stuttered, wiping some of her mascara away so she didn’t look so tired and upset.

“5 minutes.” I whispered.

“Sorry wh—”

“I’m just trying to understand how everything fell apart in 5 minutes.”

“It didn’t.” She answered back, making my eyes flicker from the stone cold ground to her breathtakingly beautiful face. She was actually an angel if ever I saw one. The moon shone upon her like it had chosen her specifically to love on. I was jealous. Even the moon could touch what I couldn’t.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Forget it, Harry. We— I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” I begged for answers, moving closer to her and feeling somewhat happy when she didn’t move away from me. It made me relieved that she wasn’t entirely neglectful of me.

“Us, Harry. I can’t— It’s—” And then she started crying really harsh tears. She cupped her delicate hand over her eyes so I couldn’t see those beauties anymore. My heart broken at the sight of my sad girl. I hated it so much. I should be angry, furious, cross, upset. Yet, all I felt was sorrow and hurt for my girl. My Y/N. I moved towards her and hesitated before wrapping my arms around her, enclosing her in the tightest bear hug I could manage. I wanted her to feel loved, at least for a moment.

“Please talk to me, Y/N. I’m begging.” I cried as I rested my head on top of hers. I wanted her to know I was really hurting - that I was just as broken as her.

“I’m so sorry. So sorry Harry.” She just cried and cried, making me cry and cry. Her arms didn’t wrap around me and that stung a little, but I got to hold her so that was enough for me.

“You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” I reassured her, trying to be brave for the both of us.

“I d-don’t deserve to be.” She whimpered and it cracked my heart even more. I was going to need so many fucking plasters for this breakup. And wine. And cigarettes.

“Don’t say that. It’s not true. You just fell out of love with me and—”

She pushed away from me with a strong push, freezing me and making me widen my eyes at both her outburst and strength. “I didn’t!” She shouted, surely the neighbours were hearing this from inside their homes. I didn’t care though. I was focused on her and her alone.

“But...”

“I-I didn’t.” She cried and cried. “I love you. So much Harry. But…”

My heart didn’t know what to do now. Did it hurt for before? Did it hurt for the future? Or should it burn for the emotional tug of war my heart strings were playing?

“But what, baby? Huh? Because I fucking love you so much. Isn’t that enough?” I shouted, trying to get through to her. I needed her. Wanted her. I loved her.

“It is.” She bravely smiled before continuing. “It’s just i’m not enough.” She wobbled her lips about to start crying again but I didn’t let her. I caught up to her and held her cheeks in my palms. Her words hurt even more than a simple no.

“Never say that to me again. Ever. You hear me?” She nodded her head as her eyes clouded over again and mine followed suit. “I love you, Y/N L/N. If you never want to become my wife, that is okay. I am okay with that. I would love to see you walk down an aisle, but not at the cost of this. I’m not loosing you. I won’t. I- I can’t, okay? A world without you… Shit.” I had to stop and breathe to catch my breathe, Y/N still looking at me with starry eyes. “A world without you isn’t with living properly.”

“Harrry…”

“No Y/N. I mean it. Please. I love you. You love me. Why can’t that be enough for us?”

“It is. I-I want it to be.” Y/N stuttered.

“Then what is it?” I asked urgently, not understanding why this was all happening. And now. “What happened in those 5 minutes Y/N?”

“Harry!”

Harry was brought out of his daze, or more of a nightmare, bu shaking hands on his shoulders. His face was wet with tears and his body sweaty. He was okay, though. He tried to push the nightmare away. Far away. It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter, because you were currently straddling his waist looking at him with sorry eyes as you woke him from the nightmare.

You were here.

“Baby…” He whispered, raising an arm to cup your cheek and you leaned into his softly. You gave it a kiss and he welcomed it with all his heart.

“Another nightmare?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” He sadly answered and you nodded sadly.

“I’m so sorry.” You spoke quietly, guilt laced rich onto your voice.

“No. Don’t do that. Stop.” Harry ordered, sitting up so that his body pressed against yours. He was so close you could taste the minty toothpaste he used before bed last night.

“It’s just.. Every nightmare you have, I can’t help but feel so guilty.” You frowned, looking to see his head shake at your words.

“Listen to me,” Harry stroked a hand over your hair and left it cupped at the back of your neck for support. “That night, sure, didn’t go as planned. I got hurt, but so did you. It wasn’t just me who had to leave because the heartache was too bad, it was you also. Sure, you were the one to say no, but I was the one who didn’t notice how sad you were. We both made mistakes that night and I won’t let you go another single fucking day thinking that your mistakes were worse than mine. We both hurt that night. We hurt each other. I just don’t ever want to lose you again. That’s why I have the nightmares, because I can’t see you leave me again, angel.”

With teary eyes you looked at him with so much awe. He had fixed your broken heart and you, his. “I love you.” And you meant it.

“I love you.” And he meant it.

He slowly picked up your hand resting it on his cheek for comfort. He loved the feeling of your soft and delicate skin there. You looked into his eyes and knew that he meant every word he’d spoken in the last 5 minutes. He loved you and forever would. The kiss he left to the ring on your finger proved just exactly that.

[ilydenji]

Please do a pt 2 of toxic traits that had kenma, kageyama, and Tsukishima. Please make it fluff in the end🥺. I loved it

❝toxic pt. 2❞

↳haikyuu boys toxic traits part two

characters: kenma kozume, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei

warnings/tw: toxic relationships

a/n: I'm so glad you loved the first one !! I hope this is good enough afndjsmsj

(this kinda long sorry lmfoaodjrnf)

part one here

kenma ;

-its been a few weeks since the two of you had talked properly.

-you did what he wanted, you had broken up with him.

-it felt weird going back to your regular life as if nothing had happened. as if you didn't spend half a year with him.

-it did hurt when you realized he didn't even care. that day when you walked away from him, you doubted that he gave it a second thought.

-but, unknowingly, the whole situation was slowly eating kenma up with guilt.

-after your breakup, he briefly had talked about it with kuroo and that’s when he realized how much of an asshole he really was.

-he missed it when you watched him practice, apparently, the other members of his team did too.

-“where’s y/n? are they okay?” lev would ask the most.

-“they broke up idiot- if you’re wondering how they are ask them yourself” of course, yaku would hit him for even mentioning them.

-up until now, kenma never noticed the little things that you did for him. how you would praise his hard work after practice or a game.

-how you would softly comb your fingers through his hair while playing games. or how you would bring him lunch every day in case he forgot to eat.

-not only that, but he started missing the little things about you as well.

-how your nose would scrunch up when you laughed,

-when you would hold his hand, you’d always rub circles on his thumb.

-how you would hum when playing with his hair.

-all those things, why hasn’t he realized them before? why did he let you go?

-why did he hurt you so bad?

-he wanted to— no, he needed to apologize to you.

-he wanted to be with you again, though he didn’t really think he deserved you anymore.

-he wanted to try anyway.

-you received a text from him in the afternoon. you were hesitant to answer. what could he be asking for? his hoodie that he left a month ago?

-when you finally decided to answer it, it read-

-“Can I please talk to you.”

-he wanted to talk now? he had a chance weeks ago. months even.

-you just sighed and texted back saying yes. he asked if he could come over and you agreed, maybe things would end off on a better note? you’d be lying if you said you didn't miss him.

-when kenma came over, he looked different than how he usually did. he didn't have his psp and he didn't use his phone once.

-he slowly walked to your bed and motioned you to sit next to him.

-“I’ve been a big fucking asshole to you, y/n. I'm so sorry I treated you like that.” he would start.

-he ended up apologizing for everything and told you he never realized how much care relationships need.

-“you deserve so much better. it’s selfish of me to even consider the fact you’d take me back but. I missed you a lot, I'm so sorry for hurting you.”

-you wanted to be with him again, to hold him and tell him it’s alright.

-instead, you rest your hand on his shoulder with a squeeze.

-“it's okay, it’s fine. I messed up along the way as well.” you’d start. kenma kept the same stoic expression he usually had. but you can tell in his eyes, he was hopeful.

-“but maybe we don’t belong in a relationship. maybe not yet at least.”

-kenma understood what you meant.

-in the end, the two of you had agreed that to ever get back into a relationship again he had to work on letting himself be vulnerable around you.

-he had promised to be better for you, and wait until you were ready to be with him again. although you had promised to be with him sometime in the future, the pang in his chest didn't fully go away.

-the day ended with him in your arms, comforting him.

-his arms were wrapped around you, his head in the crook of your neck.

-“kenma, I still love you. you know that right?”

-kenma didn't exactly answer. instead, he pulled you closer to him. you could feel his smile against your neck.

-you both still loved each other but decided to take it slow this time. not wanting to hurt each other.

kageyama ;

(reader is into photography bc that's the only thing I could think of I'm sorry lfmsoakedjdnsn)

-it’s been a few days since his last game, where he basically told you that you “clearly didn’t love him”

-in those few days, kageyama couldn’t explain what he was feeling.

-he always had trouble expressing his emotions. so he often ignored them.

-but this time, there was a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. whenever he looked at his phone he would be tempted to call you.

-he wasn’t so sure if that was a good idea, but the silence was killing him.

-one day during practice he had asked hinata if he had seen you.

-hinata nodded and told him you were out in the courtyard doing club activities.

-kageyama didn't know you were in a club? though, he hardly payed any attention to that stuff.

-he wondered how he could be so clueless, you two have been together for months.

-that day, he skipped practice. that on its own was a whole different story.

-he managed to find you outside, taking pictures of the flowers and anything remotely interesting you could find.

-but no matter how mundane, kageyama didn't fail to notice the smile you had.

-he recognized that look in your eye, that was the look he had whenever it came to volleyball. how could he have not realized how happy your little hobby made you?

-he wanted you to be happy, to see you smile with so much passion like that.

-kageyama approached you cautiously, trying not to scare you.

-“what do you want kageyama?” you started. it startled him a little.

-you didn't need to turn around for you to know he was there. hinata had texted you that kageyama was coming, of course.

-“Nothing... I just.. missed you I guess” he sat down next to you. neither of you had talked, it became awkward fast.

-“so... you like photography? I didn’t know”

-“of course you wouldn't.”

-kageyama cringed at the words. you weren’t wrong in the slightest, he had been ignoring your interests for the longest and he feels like such an ass for it.

-“I'm sorry for not paying attention” he stated. you nodded at his words. but that wasn’t enough for him.

-“I should’ve payed more attention to you, it’s my fault I got so caught up in my own head” still, you didn’t say anything but you did turn your attention to him. progress he thought.

-“I should’ve realized that this, is just as important to you as volleyball is to me.” he rested his hand on top of yours. in return, you squeezed his a little. he smiled softly.

-“I’ll give you more of my attention from now on. okay? I'm sorry y/n. I love you, I really do.” he finished. and that’s what you wanted to hear.

-you wanted him to acknowledge his wrongs and apologize. you knew kageyama struggled with his emotions sometimes but he would eventually come around.

-you rested your head on his shoulder.

-“did you really skip practice for me?”

-“of course I did”

-by the end of the day, kageyama had learned that relationships aren’t just a one-sided thing. that you cant constantly be supporting him without him supporting you.

-he promised to you that no matter what it is that you would do, he would be right by your side cheering you on.

tsukishima ;

-the days had turned to weeks, and tsukishima was barely paying any attention to you. after your little fight, it was clear that he wouldn’t say a word until you said something first.

-but you were scared to.

-how could you not be? his teasing crushed your self-esteem.

-you would notice things about yourself that you never saw before. picking at your skin for the tiniest imperfections.

-or even trying to change your appearance in any way you could to seem different, but in the end, tsukishima didn't pay attention.

-but someone else did, yamaguchi. he was close to tsukishima and knew what was going on.

-he was the first one to comfort you after your fight with your boyfriend. he promised to you that the things he said weren’t true and he never meant it.

-yamaguchi was slowly replacing tsukishima as the days went by. still, the two of you remained friends.

-“I think you should talk to him, y/n. he misses you I know it” he told you one day. he was on his way to practice and asked you to come with.

-you didn't know if that was really true but you decided to put your trust into him.

-instead of going into the gym yourself, you waited for practice to end nearby. you didn't want to be a distraction.

-when practice did end, tsukishima and yamaguchi ended up being the first ones to come out. yamaguchi was smiling as he yelled out for you. tsukishima stayed silent.

-walking towards the two made your anxiety rise. it was nerve-wracking honestly.

-the three of you ended up walking to the gate before yamaguchi told you that he had somewhere to go first and he’d meet you two later.

-after that, it was just the two of you. you noticed how although his house was in the opposite direction, he still walked with you. you smiled a little at that.

-“So what’s up with you and yamaguchi?” he said bluntly. the abrupt interaction kinda scared you a little.

-“Nothing, we’re just friends. why?”

-“nothing. I just don't like seeing you all friendly with him.”

-“Are you jealous?”

-“I guess so”

-his words were so blunt it left you confused.

-you asked him how he could say something like that when he’s been ignoring you for days. and not only that but just straight-up bully you.

-tsukishima stayed silent at that. he had stopped walking at this point, and so had you.

-“listen. I'm sorry for saying those things to you, I was just stressed and took that out on you. I never meant to hurt you y/n, I mean it” you knew tsukishima wasn't the type to talk so openly about how he felt.

-he probably meant it.

-it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you. you told him what his words had done to you, that you had tried to change yourself for his approval.

-at this, tsukishima brought you into a hug. he held you close to him, softly petting your hair.

-“I'm sorry y/n, I’m sorry for taking it too far, for making you think so low of yourself. I promise you I never thought those things about you, I was just mad. I should’ve never taken it out on you.”

-at this point, you didn't know if you should be happy about it or cry.

-“it hurt tsukki.” was all you said to him.

-“I know. I'm so sorry y/n, I understand if you cant forgive me.” he pulled away from you to move your hair away from your face, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

-“I understand that I’ve hurt you. you don't need to forgive me. but please know that I love you so much.”

-afterward, tsukki ended up walking you home, holding your hand the rest of the way.

-he knows things might not go back to being the same, but he’s willing to work on letting you past his walls, being nicer towards those he loves, you especially.

-you know old habits die hard and that relationships aren’t always easy. but this was a journey you both were willing to take. both learning from each other to make sure this never happens again.

——-

I'm really hoping this is okay uh- I tried to make this as wholesome as I could but continuing the theme from last time. I might have to just make fluff has for these three after HANDFJDNN (i’m also very sorry for my terrible english @(*$@*(24)

[adorethedistance]

9 P.M. - Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader Modern Day!AU

JATP masterlist

Warnings: swearing, mentions of suicide, painful breakup, and angst.

Words: 1991

Summary: Luke breaking up with you made your world stop turning, and when it finally starts moving again after four long months, Luke is back in typical agitator fashion.

A/N: Not requested, and I wrote this in about two hours so bear that in mind. I’ve been toying with an angst idea for a little bit now, and because all of my requests rn are fluff, I decided why not give Luke a little love since it’s been a minute since my last Luke fic. This isn’t proofread so proceed with caution.

“What are you doing here, Luke?” Dana’s voice cuts clear over the mindless chatter in the busy diner. She tucks a stack of menus under her arm to brush a loose strand of sandy blonde hair out of her face.

“I’m here to talk to Y/n. She isn’t returning my calls and she only has her phone on silent when she’s working.”

A solid four months ago, Luke Patterson had broken Y/n Y/l/n’s heart into a couple billion pieces in this very diner. After Luke requested to meet up as soon as possible, Y/n told him she’d be clocking out for the night around 9 PM, and true to his previous request Luke had arrived at 9 on the dot. He considered taking her to his car for more privacy but in fear of forgetting his long, crafted speech, he opted for a secluded booth in the very back corner of her diner.

He still remembers the evening, clear as day. They sat down across from one another on the red vinyl seats with nervous tension exponentially rising between them. He remembers the way she ruffled her loose hair after having it pulled back for an 8-hour shift. He remembers the way she rested her right ankle on her left knee to massage away the calf pain from 8 hours of waiting tables. And he remembers the way her warm smile disappeared after he uttered the words “I think we should break up.”

Y/n was so shocked she couldn’t respond. Everything seemed to be going well between them. They had said their first ‘I love you’s and she had even opened up to the possibility of giving him her virginity. And here he was, a mere week later, claiming that he had fallen out of love with her over the span of a month.

Tears clouded her vision. She was quick to wipe them away before they fell, something Luke noticed that she only did when she was crying out of anger. With her normal sadness or even stress she just lets her emotions run their course. But the anger swelling inside of her at that moment, she so desperately wanted to hide. As a result, she brushed them away. She bit her tongue. She saved face, not wanting to let Luke know just how much he had hurt her.

Luke expected a full-on interrogation. He knew Y/n’s mind was one of insatiable curiosity and she had to have at least a million questions. However, if she did, she didn’t show it. The only question she asked, “Is this really what you want?” Her voice was steady, but Luke knew how badly she wanted to tear him apart, to ravage him right then and there. But after losing such a huge part of herself, Luke, she held onto her dignity so tight it nearly crumbled into dust and blew out of her clenched fingers. Without asking for any more information, she slipped out of the booth and hurried to her car as fast as her walk could take her.

At the time, Luke felt guilty for making her cry. Now he feels guilty for ever having let her believe she wasn’t good enough for him. The only problem is she wouldn’t give him the chance. And her best friend, Dana, didn’t seem like she would give him one either.

“Well, she’s not here. Have you ever considered she’s not returning your calls when she’s off of work, too?”

“Dana, I need to talk to her-”

“What could you possibly have left to say, Luke? Whatever you said to her that night broke her, it absolutely destroyed her. She hasn’t been the same since.” Luke had no trouble believing that was true, which is why it hurt so bad to hear, granted it didn’t hurt as bad as how Y/n felt that night.

“What? No- I-I really need to talk to her.”

“You really don’t.”

“I have to get her back, Dana!” A tornado of shock and anger consumes Dana to the point where all she can do is let out a bitter laugh. The look in Luke’s eyes indicates how hurt he is by her laughter, and Dana’s desire for vengeance has never been so strong. So, she continues to tell the truth. The ferocious, unabridged, hurtful truth,

“You don’t deserve a second chance. You don’t even deserve an attempt at a second chance. Knowing her, Y/n would never tell you this, but I will: you fucked up so bad, you made her almost make the biggest mistake of her life.”

“What?” Luke almost hesitates to ask, knowing he won’t like the answer.

“That night, she came to my place and cried so hard for three hours before she could even get a coherent word out. She stayed with me for three days and, had my shift not ended early that Tuesday, she wouldn’t be alive today.” The dumbstruck look on Luke’s face is only more motivation for Dana to twist the knife, “She almost didn’t survive losing you, Luke. And god forbid she gives you a second chance because she won’t survive losing you again.”

The diner is just crowded enough that no one is paying the two of them any mind as they faceoff by the hostess stand. Dana spent four long months consoling her best friend back to life, and she was not about to let Luke destroy all the hard work Y/n had put into healing.

“I can make this right.”

“How could you possibly make this right?”

“I know more now than I did before. I’ve changed!”

“So has she.” Dana’s biting words render Luke speechless. Once she realizes her work here is done, she continues setting up tables as they’re disinfected.

__________________________

Luke’s conversation with Dana in the diner left him shellshocked, but it also lit a fire under his ass that he needed to move forward. Rather than discouraging him, Dana’s words gave him a greater incentive to win her back: proof that he was willing to do what he said he would. At least, that’s what Luke told himself. Rather than stepping into the future with greater clarity, Luke went into the world with confidence so large and blinding, his actions may sabotage his true intentions.

That’s how he found himself so determined to win Y/n back. And that’s how he found himself face to face with the front door of her home. It’s 9 PM, just early enough to where she’d be home for the day, just early enough to where she wouldn’t be asleep, and hauntingly just the exact time he had broken her heart all those months ago. Before giving his conviction a chance to back out, he was raising a steady hand to ring the doorbell of her residence.

Y/n opened the door without much thought, expecting a food delivery; she was drastically off-put by Luke’s presence at her doorstep this late.

“Oh.” Was the only response manageable for the tired waitress.

“Hi. Can we talk?”

There it was. The phrase that was a paradoxical toss-up regarding her emotional state. Half of her has been waiting for this day for so long, dreaming of the boyfriend she once knew to come genuinely heartbroken and remorseful to win her back. The other half was terrified of this impending day as she realized she wasn’t nearly as emotionally strong enough to handle the situation as she thought. 

‘Oh’ was the only response manageable for the tired waitress.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please just give me five minutes and if you never want to hear from me for the rest of your life, I’ll never bother you again,” he rushes out, knowing his time is finite. For what short period of time he thought it over, Luke always imagined pouring his heart out on her front doorstep. That’s why her silent sidestep and opening of the door caught him so off guard. He hadn’t anticipated her to actually give him a decent chance. Why would she? He broke up with her in the very diner she works in full time and crushed her heart so completely, the only things left behind had to be contempt and resentment.

Luke crossed the threshold of her small, cramped LA home with his heart on his sleeve. Reluctantly closing the door behind him, Y/n walks to her living room and sits on the couch amidst a mess of popcorn, her favorite chocolates, used tissues, and a bottle of Advil. The night Luke broke up with Y/n was four months ago and she’s still spending her Friday nights alone crying on her couch with a rom-com on the tv. A sharp pang of guilt cuts through Luke’s chest like a machete and his previous confidence completely dissipates into sadness. Though, he can’t tell if it’s actually remorse or just general pity.

“What did you want to talk about?” Y/n asks as if she doesn’t know what conversation they’re about to have. Luke takes a deep breath to prepare himself as best as he can before explaining what’s been on his mind.

“I am so sorry, Y/n.” His hopes for any sort of reaction are crushed once her blank stare doesn’t waver. In spite of everything that’s happened thus far, this is the moment Luke realizes this would be a lot more difficult than he anticipated. “That night, you asked if taking a break from… us was what I really wanted.”

“I remember.”

“I said yes and you left right after that. I know you’ve blocked my socials, but you haven’t blocked my calls, you just don’t answer. I’m sure you’ve got to be interested in why, you’re a very curious person.”

Luke wasn’t wrong there, Y/n had been wondering why. She had been wondering why since the words left his mouth that night, but she repressed that curiosity. She repressed it because she knew that whatever the answer was, it didn’t make any difference. Luke wasn’t hers to have anymore and that was what really mattered.

“I did it because I thought I was falling out of love with you.”

“You thought?”

“I wasn’t actually falling out of love with you.”

“You weren’t?”

“No.”

“Then why’d you break it off?”

“I thought I was falling out of love with you but really my attraction was just changing. Instead of just spontaneous and passionate and exciting, I began to see our relationship as comforting and secure as well as those other things. I thought my comfortability was falling out of love, but really, I was falling in love. I was no longer just super infatuated with you, I was in love with you. Genuine love.”

“Luke…” Y/n trails off. She has no real idea of what it is she’s thinking so she opts to let Luke continue until she can figure it out.

“I love you, Y/n. And I broke things off because, before you, I didn’t understand love. Hell, with you I didn’t understand it was love, but now I do! I love you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“So, what does this all mean?” Luke draws in a nervous breath, identical to the one he used to soothe his nerves as he stepped into the all-too-familiar house.

“I know I don’t deserve it because of what I put you through… but all I’m asking is for a chance to prove that I really do love you.” The looking shimmering across Y/n’s eyes tells Luke how her thoughts are running wild. She’s experiencing a new train of thought at a mile a minute and it terrifies both of them.

“You hurt me, Luke. And I want to hate you so much for everything that you put me through, but I don’t, and I hate myself for that. But, I’m sorry. I can’t give you a second chance.”

***

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​ @itz-jas​ @crybabyddl​ @kcd15​ @kinda-really-lost​ @calamitykaty​ @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys​ @amazinggracy​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @ghostlygreenbean​ @juliefromaustralia @merceret​ @jemimah-b99​ @ifilwtmfc​ @thesweetestsinner​ @imsydneywalker​ @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress​ @bumbleberry-pie​ @losers-club6​ @tefilovesreading​ @dmcfarland1​@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz​ @talk-on-the-street​ @phantompogues​ @konciousdreamer​ @sunsetcurvej​ @warmnesss0ul​

[donghyuckcuyhgnod]

Would u be willing to have a follow up or pt 2 to guilt flavored cupcakes? If not, could i request a jisung angst that ends with fluff? Hehe 💚💚💚

i tried to fit both of your requests into one :) the beginning is realllyyyy angsty, but i promise it gets better! it’s a bit long, i got a little carried away haha,, but i hope you enjoy <3

(part one is located here.)

“this is all your fault!” jisung yelled, slamming the door he had just walked through, his eyes shining with tears and his voice shaky. out of surprise and shock, all twenty-two of his fellow members had their eyes blown wide. “if you assholes just kept your mouths shut, this wouldn’t be happening right now!”

“jisung, what are you talking about?” taeyong gently asked. even the choreographer had stopped in his tracks upon the youngest’s unexpected entrance.

“them!” he pointed to the dreamies, sitting on the floor in front of the mirror. confused, all of the boys rose their eyebrows. “the one thing that makes me happy—the one person that truly makes me happy isn’t mine anymore because of you,” he spit out harshly, pointing to the five boys who he had initially put the blame on. his phone was clutched tightly in his hands, still lit up and on the page of his call log; your name being at the top of the list. 

“jisung, what the hell are you talking about?” renjun asked, confusion laced in his voice. it wasn’t long before jisung’s bottom lip began quivering, tears streaming freely down his face as he let out an characteristically loud sob. “y/n broke up with me,” he choked out, shutting his eyes so tight as if he couldn’t bare to say those words. he dropped his phone on the ground, pulling at his hair in distress. 

jaemin rolled his eyes, “of course she did. we already warned you, jisung. she was using you for your idol status. think of this as a good thing.” the dreamies shook their heads in agreement. 

johnny spoke up, “guys, i don’t think now is a good time-”

“fuck you.”

silence. complete, utter, silence. jaemin—as well as the rest of nct—was speechless. never, in all their years of knowing jisung, had his members heard him cuss in such a bitter, hateful, and sincere way. shocked wasn’t even the word. 

“what did you just say to me?” jaemin’s eyes were wide, his jaw open in surprise. did he just say what i think he said? 

“you heard me loud and clear, jaemin. fuck you. fuck all five of you. you never gave her a fucking chance! all of you are always so mean to her, and for what? what did she ever do to you? you never even tried to like her. you would push her aside, say mean things straight to her face. you treated her like a goddamned criminal!” his tears were nonstop, cheeks a bright red and eyelids swollen from the constant tears. he sniffled, biting his lip in an attempt to control his sobs. 

“what did she say during the call?” doyoung asked cautiously, laying a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. jisung sniffled again, gaining enough composure to speak.

“sh-she called because her dress was ruined. the dress for the awards, y’know. i paid for it to be altered to her size, and she came by the dorm yesterday when i wasn’t there to pick it up. and she went to take it out of the bag today, and there was paint all over it! and it was ripped in a bunch of places, and when i asked her how she ruined it, she told me that it wasn’t her. but i know exactly who it was,” jisung deadpanned, his eyes growing dark as he looked at the five guilty boys sitting on the floor. their lack of response made the answer very clear to everyone in the room. 

kun sighed in disappointment, “what the hell is wrong with you guys?”

“it was her grandma’s dress.” jisung looked down at his feet, his eyes shining with tears again; and not because of the breakup. but rather, his mind went to the hurt in your voice when crying to him over the phone. “jisung, this dress is the only thing i had left of her. and now it’s completely ruined.”

“what?” chenle said. 

“it was her grandma’s dress. the woman who raised her, who died last year. it was her dress and it was the only thing y/n had left of her. and you fucking ruined it, and tore it to shreds! how fucked up are you guys!? she broke up with me because she can’t do it anymore. she can’t handle the way you treat her. she dealt with it for two years now, and this was the final straw. are you fucking happy now?”

the immediate guilt suddenly had everyone’s heart skipping a beat—and not in a good way. a series of flashbacks had appeared in their minds; all of the times when you were at the dorm, making jisung laugh until he couldn’t breathe. the countless times you brought him soup and cuddles when he wasn’t feeling good, or the small pep-talks you would give him before a performance that always seemed to calm him. the way you always cooked and cleaned around the dorm because you knew how hard jisung and his members worked. all the times he had gushed—and gushed some more—about how amazing you were and how much he loved you with the most joyful smile he had ever shown. 

“jisung, we-”

“save it.”

shit. we really fucked up.

—

a whole four-and-a-half weeks had passed when jeno called you. you weren’t expecting to see his name pop up on your phone, thus the reason you gasped out loud. you assumed he was calling to tell you how bad of a person you are for breaking up with jisung—so you didn’t answer. it’s not like you wanted to break up with him; the dreamies gave you no other choice. when haechan called not minutes later, however, you started to grow confused. surely they would give up, right? but then renjun called. and then, jaemin. and then, chenle. eventually, your curiosity got the best of you.

“hello?” you answered nervously, trying your absolute best to stabilize your voice. due to all the crying and frustration, however, your voice came out more hoarse and broken than intended. the other line was silent. 

“. . . chenle?” 

“meet me at the coffee shop next to the dorms in twenty minutes.”

“what? why?” you began, but the line had already gone dead. confused, you dragged yourself out of your bed and made yourself look presentable. well, as presentable as you could, considering the fact that you’d been hibernating in your room out of sadness for the past four weeks.

you arrived to the cafe with a heavy heart. you were sure your heart was going to burst out of your chest at the sight of the five boys who seemingly hated you, sitting around a table with one empty chair. you hesitantly walked in, the bell on the door gaining their attention. you smiled lightly at them out of habit. you sat down in silence, hugging your sweater a little tighter on instinct, feeling small under their gazes. they were surely going to scold you, right? i mean, you did just break their best friend’s heart. but yours was broken, too. 

the boys took in your appearance, and with one glance, they knew you were just as heartbroken as jisung. their younger friend had barely spoken since that day; he would perform and practice like always, but the minute the cameras were off, he was cold and distant. he locked himself in his room every night, forcing jaemin to sleep on the couch. he had barely eaten, his energy and passion dropping drastically due to a lack of motivation. even the fans had started suspecting the changes. he wasn’t acting himself.

haechan was the first to break the silence. “we’re sorry, y/n. . .” he spoke quietly, avoiding your eyes in shame and guilt. your eyes widened in surprise, a shocked huh? coming from your mouth. is this a joke? as if renjun read your mind, he answered your question.

“we’re serious. we never gave you a chance. we were so mean to you and we’re sorry for everything. truly sorry,” renjun said, a glint of sincerity in his eyes. the apology, in all honesty, pricked at a certain part of your heart. like a bandaid being ripped from a wound, and all it took was a gentle smile from jaemin before your eyes were watering. “especially about your grandma’s dress,” renjun added on in a guilty mutter, training his eyes downward. you flinched at his words, remembering the mess they made of your precious grandmother’s dress.

you sniffled, your tears flowing freely now as you cleared your throat. “you guys were just worried about jisung, it’s understandable-“ you began, before chenle cut you off.

“why are you so nice to us, y/n? we treated you like shit from day one for absolutely no reason, and you’re still being nice to us and making excuses for our behavior. we know we’re in the wrong, y/n. you don’t need to say anything.”

you gaped at him, before slowly nodding your head as you cried. you were surprised to feel a comforting hand on your shoulder, looking up and seeing a kind-smiled haechan through your tears. “seriously, why? you’re too kind, y/n.” you could only look at him, muttering a small, “because jisung loves you guys so much.”

your own words made you cry harder, lightly laughing at yourself out of nerves. “i’m sorry for crying like this,” you said, swiping at your red and puffy cheeks, trying to keep up with the vigorous tears.

jaemin lightly chuckled, “it’s no big deal. it’s no different than jisung, nowadays.” at this, your heart nearly ripped in half, and you felt a pain in your chest that you could only describe as excruciating. you looked up at him wide-eyed, stuttering over yourself, struggling to find the words.

“he’s a mess, y/n,” jeno spoke truthfully, his own eyes watering a bit at the thought of jisung cooped up in his room, crying himself to sleep every night. “don’t blame it on yourself. it’s not your fault. it’s ours,” he said.

your cries hadn’t stopped, the people around giving you weird looks and questioning eyes. “please talk to him, y/n,” chenle pleaded, eyeing you carefully. you quickly regained your composure, hiccups now replacing your cries. you thought for a moment, “what if he’s too upset with me? what if he wants nothing to do with me anymore?”

“trust us, y/n. he wants everything to do with you. he needs you.”

—

your hand shook as you lifted it up to the doorknob of the familiar practice room. you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes in an attempt to gain back your composure. jisung and his members were leaving for tour in a few days, and you refused to let him leave without talking to him. you were planning to wait until nighttime, but as you sat in your room with your mind swirling, you couldn’t wait any longer.

you had finally gained the courage to open the door, but before you could, someone else beat you to it. mark looked at you with surprise, an unreadable expression on his face. you quietly greeted him, nervously picking at your nails as you shuffled on your feet.

“y/n? what are you doing here?” he spoke, his eyes softening at the clear distress on your face. you lightly peaked inside the practice room, and mark instantly got the hint. he quickly moved aside to make room for you, an encouraging smile on his face.

the world seemed to stop, then. the moment you walked into the room, jisung had caught your eyes in the mirror. his hair was disheveled, his eyes puffy, red, and tired. the bags under his eyes sadly matched yours, his face looking slimmer than normal and his figure hunched over in a sulk. his skin was red and uneven, a few stress pimples coating his forehead and his chin.

“y/n?” he spoke suddenly, his voice broken, and your eyes instantly teared up at the sound of his voice cracking. nearly everyone was staring at you wide-eyed, and you gulped nervously.

“i know this probably isn’t the best time, but i-i just. . . “ you trailed, losing your voice as you looked at the ground. you looked up again, jisung now facing you with a sad look in his eyes. you sighed, “can we talk?”

—

the door was closed and the boys couldn’t hear anything, but that didn’t stop them from looking through the small glass window. even their choreographer was trying to get a better view, all of them hoping and praying that you were here to get their maknae back. they could only see your face, jisung’s back to the door. you held his hands tightly in yours, your lips moving and tears flying freely down your face.

they couldn’t see jisung, but the way his shoulders shook vigorously was a clear indication that he, too, was sobbing. your regretful words and pleas of i love you more than anything, i’m such an idiot for breaking up with you sent daggers through jisung’s heart. your eyes screamed the words forgive me, please. and how was he to say no to you?

he nodded his head with intent, “i could never be mad at you for this, y/n. i’m such a coward for not sticking up for you-“

“don’t say that, park jisung. you did stick up for me. it’s all in the past now, okay? they. . . they apologized to me. they’re the reason i’m here right now,” you confessed, jisung’s eyes widening at your words.

“none of it matters now, i promise. please, can we forget this ever happened? i can’t be without you, baby,” you cried, the affectionate name sounding so familiar yet so foreign to jisung. it tugged at his heart strings, all strumming for you in every way possible. without hesitation, he nodded his head, a relieved smile taking over his features. 

you practically wailed in relief, taking his face in your hands and planting your lips on his in a passionate kiss; all of the emotions that the two of you had felt over the past weeks were being poured out, your pain matching each other’s in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible. the taste of your simultaneous tears didn’t matter in that moment; all that mattered was that you were his again, and he was yours.

“they’re kissing! i repeat, they’re kissing!” taeyong exclaimed, a series of happy and excited shouts filling the room as the members cheered for the both of you. jisung pulled away, only to look back and see a bunch of prying eyes through the window, all smiling and high-fiving each other at the scene before them. and the best part? the dreamies were the happiest of them all. you chuckled at them, causing jisung to look back at you in amazement.

“i love you so much, y/n. please never leave me again,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck and pulling you as close as he possibly could. your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, closing your eyes in bliss and letting out a sigh of relief. “never again,” you assured both him, and yourself. you basked in his embrace. finally. you were home. he held you as if you were to disappear the second he let go, and in that moment, jisung concluded that losing you was his biggest fear.

[talas-starlight]

Lover - Percy Jackson x Fem!reader

SUMMARY: You’ve crushed on Percy for years, him on the other hand? It’s more of a recent development. That doesn’t mean he likes you any less.

(Older Percy & reader - they're like 21) ALSO idk perfectly what happens in trials of apollo so let’s just ✨ignore that ✨ & this isn’t sexual despite what the title may suggest

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

A/N: hi friends this is for @fromthewatertribe​ ‘s 1k follower event!! Im sure most of you have but if not definitely check out their work!! Its soooo good I promises and ugh their Leo fic?! *chefs kiss* anyway idk if this is any good oop I tried

PROMPTS USED: 9 & 11. (they’re bolded)

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of ptsd & anxiety, kissing stuff lol ish eh idk, mentions of percabeth breakup?? Does that count?

MASTERLIST: here!

An obnoxiously red and orange light filters into the motel room, even with the old and tattered curtains closed, the motels’ sign conquers its way through the fabric. Sighing you flop yourself on the faded, probably twenty-year-old bed. Nose scrunching as some dust raises into the air, consequently letting out a sneeze.

“Bless you.”

“Did you just bless yourself?”

You winced at the reminder someone else was in the room, exhausted after the two-day travel to a motel room in the middle of whoop. “Yeah…”

“You really are something, aren’t you?” At the calm amusement evident in his tone, your heart rate began to slow down. He didn’t think you were crazy.

You let out a breathy laugh. Wow, I wonder how those stains got on the ceiling? Lava monster perhaps? Are those even a thing? Probably.

“Yeah… well, someone has to Jackson.” You glance towards him, he’s sitting at the small, poor excuse of a dining table. Heart rate picking up again as he gives you a small smile, already having his eyes on you this entire time.

“If I don’t, who will?” you continue.

“Touché. In that case, I’ll do the blessing from now on; you deserve a break.” Shooting you a wink. Instantly feeling flustered at his action, you fight the urge to cover your face with your hands.

Oh, Percy, if only you knew you’ve already been blessing me for the past six years.

“Even say…. If we’re in a battle?” you muse.

He gets up from the table and walks towards you. Once he reaches your side of the queen bed, he kneels, grabbing the hand closest to him, while putting his other on top of his heart. “Oh, y/n l/n, even with my dying breath.”

With that, you burst into a fit of laughter. This boy and his sarcasm.

You play along. “Hmmm what a great tale that will be. The one and only, Perseus Jackson, spending his final breath on sweet old y/n l/n. How dare you burden me with such a legacy to live up to! They’ll think I’m your lover, you know. Demigods all around the world will come searching for me, just to gawk at the beauty that stole your heart.”

At this point, Percy has fallen from his kneeling position, completely lying on the ground, overcome with laughter.

“This isn’t funny, Percy! How am I supposed to live with the guilt of knowing I don’t live up to their expectations?! I’m hardly a warrior either, oh the disappointment.”

Gasping for breath, he manages to find his words, “Don’t stress it y/n, you’re plenty beautiful. I just know they’ll all be stunned by your beauty. Don’t sell yourself short… trust me, once they see you, they’ll be envious that my lover was so enraptured by me that you’ll never be able to love again.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. Would that be so bad?

Gasping for breath, eventually, both of your laughs die down, leaving you both breathing heavily. “C’mon Percy, let’s get some sleep. Its going to be a long week of scouting for demigods if we’re tired.”

As Percy nods, silently getting up to go to the bathroom to change, but he can’t help but think to himself that he wouldn’t mind if he was stuck in the middle of nowhere with you. No matter how long.

It had been three days since you and Percy arrived in the town you continuously fail to remember the name of. It wasn’t the only thing you were failing at doing either, because it seemed that for some unknown reason, the school that was supposed to arrive here for their camping trip still hadn’t shown up.

“We should send an Iris message to camp. It doesn’t look like they’re showing up any time soon, and by the looks of things, we’re going to need to have them send someone for more supplies.”

Percy sighed, looking out the window. Was this the opportunity he was looking for? Maybe… he knew he’d be a stupid fool to pass it up. Swept up in his new thoughts, he never replied. “Percy?”

Without even looking at you, he nodded, turning to go to the bathroom, “Yeah sure, I’ll go into the bathroom and make the call.”

Humming in acknowledgement as he left the room, you couldn’t help but stare at the spot he was previously standing in from your position on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t look too good.

For such a great hero, you wondered if this quest was doing him any good. After the first day of scouting the campsite, it was obvious he was already antsy to get home. It seemed no matter how light you tried to keep the atmosphere; it was like something was weighing on his mind. Mostly when you were both in the motel room together, you supposed it was because he barely went on quests nowadays. Understandably so, after all, who could blame him for wanting a break and spend time with his family? This made you feel immensely guilty since you could never give him words of truly understanding what he’s gone through. You’d arrived at camp a few days before him, yet over the years you were never sent onto a major quest. It upset you greatly at first, but you grew to appreciate your time at camp.

Before your mind could delve further into its guilt and self-pity, Percy re-entered the room, sitting next to you with a huff. “It’s all good. They’re going to send Leo with some extra supplies, and he’ll help us for the rest of this quest.”

Accidentally getting swept up in how pretty his eyes were, you tensed up, realising he was staring at you expectantly. Quickly nodding and clearing your throat you looked down to your lap, “ahh, okay that sounds good. I guess we’ll have time to sightsee or something…”

Sightsee? Really y/n? There’s nothing in this stupid town!

An awkward silence filled the room. Due to your previous thoughts, you were unsure how to proceed. This was the first time you were alone with him and had nothing else better to do.

Percy on the other hand, found that the obvious swooning look in your eyes was his green light. “Uhhh actually y/n?”

Oh, please don’t ask me why I basically just drooled all over you for NO FUCKING REASON. Snapping your head back up to look at him, you desperately tried to ignore the pounding in your chest that managed to find its way into your ears, “yeah?”

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

Holy shit he knows, doesn’t he? He knows I’ve liked him this entire time, and he’s going to reject me even though I never even said anything!

“I uhm… look I know we’re kind of on a small quest and all but technically we ARE waiting for Leo and the school to arrive before we continue… and you know we kind of have like at least a day or two until then so I was just wondering…”

“Yeah, Percy? You can just say it, you know; I really don’t mind.” I do mind, but please get this over with before I cry. With your heart rate increasing at an alarming rate and face heating up so much, you wanted Zeus to blast you right then and there.

Percy felt like he was about to puke, he’d never felt this nervous before. Yeah, he had his moments growing up with Annabeth, after all, she was his first girlfriend, but this was different. He wanted this to be different. Sure, he never regretted their relationship, and yes, he knew he’d always remember everything they went through- what he went through but… he wanted a clean slate. He desperately just wanted nothing more than to know that there was at least one person in his life that wasn’t constantly fighting for their lives—someone who didn’t have to live with as much trauma as him.

“W- would you maybe... Gods, do you want to have dinner tomorrow night? Maybe at the diner further into the town?”

HOLY FUCK.

He was interested and honestly, you were over the moon. Breathing out the breath you were holding in, you fail to hide the smile on your face, “yeah, I’d like that.”

His face instantly broke out into a wide smile matching yours. “Wait really?”

Unable to hold back a small giggle, you nodded, “yeah, Percy.”

Staring at yourself in the mirror, you admire the blue dress you found in a charity shop this morning while Percy was sleeping. I can’t believe this is happening.

If you had old even more awkward 15-year-old y/n that you were about to go on a date with the boy you admired from your table during meals (when he was there), you would’ve laughed. Mainly because at that point, he didn’t even know you existed, only having your first conversation during the battle of Manhattan when you were helping Will.

Okay… lets do this.

Walking out of the bathroom, Percy is already sitting on the bed in his usual t-shirt, jeans and converse waiting for you.

“Woah… You look uh-” Never finishing his statement, worry bubbled in your chest.

“Oh, uhm… I- I can change if you’d like?

Jumping up from his place on the bed, his head shook quickly. “NO! N-no don’t do that.”

“Ah uhm… okay? Sorry, it’s just I saw it in a store earlier and uhm… it looked nice, and I just thought that maybe it’d be cool to maybe put in a bit more effort? I mean… not that you don’t look good or anything! I love what you wear, you always look nice! but I don’t know… I don’t get to look nice much and… I just wanted it to be kinda special since we don’t get to… well our lives don’t really grant us these opportunities very often. Or at least for me anyway…”

“Hey, no, it’s okay! I totally get it… you look beautiful.” After hearing your small confession and thought to prepare for your date, his heart felt like it was melting. How could someone be so thoughtful when all he was doing was taking you to a rundown diner who probably only served mediocre burgers?

A small wave of guilt washed through him. Feeling like he would never be able to truly sweep you off your feet or give you that sweet, tooth-rotting love and affection, every day, just like you deserved. After everything, he knew he could try his best but even then, he’d never be able to hide the anxiety or PTSD he had acquired over the years.

You looked up to him with a smirk. “Glad to hear it, lover.”

Cheeks heating up at your comment, he laughed trying to play it off as cool as possible. Taking a step closer to you and flattening his shirt as if it would wipe away its wrinkles, he held out his arm. “Shall we, lover?”

Matching his level of fake sophistication, you linked your arm with his, “with pleasure.”

And with that, you both walked out of the motel, with hopeful spirits. To any onlooker, you both looked like normal young adults.  

“Where the fuck are you?!” Percy’s voice boomed from his end of the phone, supposedly made without any monster risks.  

You winced, slowly and cautiously walking your way out of the forest. The once clean dress was now covered in dirt and had few tears. It went perfectly with your dishevelled, twig and leaf infested hair.

“Space doesn’t really exist, so I’m nowhere. Life is built on social constructs and, since there’s no way to know if we’re really alive or if it’s just an illusion, I can’t be anywhere.”

“Y/n.”

Okay, he was concerned, and you couldn’t blame him. After all, how did you expect him to react after getting separated from you as you were chased into the woods by an Empousai after dinner?

Romance at its finest.  

“Yeah, sorry, I got caught up, but I’ll be there soon.”

Ending the call, you couldn’t help but feel guilty as you replayed the events that just occurred in your head. The date was amazing. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was still sweet. Which led you both to go on one of those cliché night walks. That was nice too, until two Empousai came out of the forest and decided to attack you both.

Percy being…. Well Percy, he swiftly got out riptide and didn’t hesitate to defend the two of you. You, on the other hand, were completely caught off guard only just noticing as one of them turned their focus on you while Percy was distracted.

And what did you do like the perfectly trained demigod you were?

You ran like a headless chicken into the forest.

After a few minutes of running, they tackled you into the ground. Trying and failing failed to shove them off, you suddenly remembered the dagger you strapped to your thigh under your dress and stabbed them.

Clearly not your proudest moments.

Finally making it back to the room, you unlocked the door and let out a huff of relief. “Well… that date didn’t go as expected.”

Percy, took in your current state staring at you with wide eyes… but he didn’t say anything. Is he angry at me? Fuck now he’s going to call off whatever this is, all because I’m an incompetent idiot! I knew I should have tried harder in the sparring activities at camp.

Feeling highly intimidated under his intense stare, you began to play with the hem of your dress, voice going quiet. “Look I uh- I know it probably wasn’t the date you were hoping for but I uhm-“

Before you could even finish your poor excuses, your words are soon lost entirely. Percy stalked towards you with a determined look on his face. Reaching you, he firmly placed his hands on either side of your face, smashing his lips onto yours.

You let out a small, muffled squeak of surprise as your eyebrows shot up into Olympus. Yet unlike your fighting skills, this was something you managed to adapt to at a faster pace.

Eyes fluttering closed, you fisted his shirt, pulling him closer.

Please don’t let this be a dream.

Because Gods forbid if this your one chance, you weren’t letting this moment end that easily.  

Moving your lips against his, the urgency he came onto you with slowly began to dissipate, feeling his soft, but slightly chapped lips move against yours. Deepening the kiss, you let go of his shirt, gliding your hands up his tense torso and along his strong arms, eventually placing your hands on his wrists that were on either side of your face. Applying a small amount of pressure to the inside of his wrists with your thumbs, his mind began to drift into a calming haze as you softly stroked them. It was almost as if you were able to brush away the worry that bubbled in him when he got back to the room, only to find you weren’t there. Yet here you were… safe.

It was intoxicating and calming having him so close to you, his entire being overcoming your senses to a point where you fought the urge to let out a small whimper when he pulled away.

Resting his forehead against yours, chest rising and falling heavily flushed against you; he continued to hold you in his warm embrace. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” He whispers, breath fanning against your face.

Because as much as Percy was afraid he’d let you down, he knew no matter what you were worth every single risk.

“…but I’m going to have to teach you a few things when we get back to camp. We can’t have my lover running away in battle all the time, how will I know if you sneeze?”

Letting out a snort, you playfully hit his chest. “Anything for you, lover.”

A soft smile graces his face as he looks at you adoringly as the word takes on a whole new meaning… because you were right. He’d do anything.

A/N: whelp! i hope you all liked it :)) its not perfect but oh well? 

also i dont have a percy jackson taglist but i gotta tag the holy grail of fic writers for this fandon eep @cabinofimagines​   🙈 🙈

Divider credit: @biskit-rising​