#so that something I think is best to not think abt until I've at least gotten top surgery. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itneverendshere · 1 month ago

Note

hi again! so I've been meaning to send a request, but before i go about it I wish to say it's completely okay if you're not inspired by this, or if you simply don't want to write it, i would hate myself if I made you overwhelmed or smth. love you anyways 💕 so for the request: reader who's autistic. she's not very talkative nor socially active, never had a boyfriend, has one or two friends, yet somehow rafe notices her and finds her endearing. she's okay being herself with her friends, like she's funny, kind and passionate about her interests (like geek stuff, fantasy books, animals and such). she has zero flirting experience and is always dismissive towards rafe bc she doesn't think someone could like her romantically, and she's always suspicious of people bc they've wronged her in the past (in my experience as an autistic person i tend to believe everything ppl say and am kinda naive, so ppl played me or said unrealistic things and I believed them, which then is a reason for laughter, now I'm always suspicious to ppl's intentions). I'm giving you creative freedom with this, just wanted an autistic reader for once :) if you feel like writing it but need to know more abt autism, you can just post question and I'll answer in your asks, if that's okay. Just a reminder again before I go: feel free to decline this request, I know it might not be something cool to write and that's okay ☺️ love you lots, thank you for your time!

i tried my best, hope you like it 🫶🏼 and if you don't lmk so i can do better!! this was really fun since it's a compeltely new topic of inspiration. kinda left an "open" ending bc i couldn't make my mind up lmao. thank you for the resquest and sorry it took me a while to finally do it 🫂

got dreams but i can't make myself believe them - r.c

paring: rafe x autistic!reader word count: 6.9k

The party was a mistake. You knew it the moment you walked in, the thumping music and crush of people making your skin crawl. Your friends had been relentless, insisting that you needed to “get out more” and “live a little,” despite your repeated attempts to explain that “getting out” meant something different to you.

But somehow, you’d caved, and now you were standing awkwardly in the corner of a stranger’s living room, clutching your book like it was a life vest. You needed to stop letting them drag you everywhere.

It was the typical college party scene, at least the one's you'd heard or read about before. Red solo cups everywhere, groups of people huddled on couches or pressed together on the so called dance floor, and a few already-drunk guys yelling loudly in the kitchen.

This was supposed to be fun?

“Just stay for an hour,” they said. “If it’s really that bad, you can leave.”

Right. Except an hour felt like an eternity when you were trapped in a sensory nightmare. You took a deep breath, scanning the crowded room. There were people everywhere—laughing, dancing, chattering loudly in clumps—and the noise was a constant, overwhelming buzz in your ears.

This was definitely a mistake.

So, you did what you always did in these situations: you found a place to hide. After walking through the drunk college students, you eventually ended up on quiet nook near the back of the house. It was a small room, probably some sort of den or study. Blessedly, it was empty. With a sigh of relief, you settled into an oversized armchair, opened your book, and let the world outside your pages melt away.

Time slipped by as you read, the noise of the party changing into a distant hum. You were so engrossed that you didn’t even notice when someone stumbled into the room until a loud crash jolted you out of your fictional word. He nearly tripped over his own feet, catching himself at the last second with a slurred, “Shit.”

You looked up to find a guy standing unsteadily in the doorway, blinking blearily at you. He was tall, with tousled hair and a loose, easy grin that spoke of far too many drinks. His eyes were a striking blue even in the low light, and it took you a second to place him.

Rafe Cameron.

Oh, God. You knew him—well, of him, at least. He was in your sociology class, always sitting a few rows behind you with his gaggle of equally charming friends. He’d never spoken to you before, though, and you’d never had a reason to pay him much attention.

Until now.

Then his face split into a lazy grin, and he swaggered—no, stumbled—into the room, somehow managing to make even that look effortless.

“Heyyy,” he drawled, leaning heavily against the arm of the chair across from you. “It’s… it’s you.”

You blinked at him. “Me?”

“Yeah,” he slurred, squinting like he was trying to see you clearly. “T-The girl from my class. The quiet one.”

Your stomach did a weird flip, part confusion, part disbelief. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded sagely, as if you’d just confirmed some great truth. “You’re the uh, the smart one. With the books.” He gestured vaguely at the one in your hands. “Always sittin’ up front, all… all cute n'shit.”

Your cheeks burned. Was he seriously calling you cute? No. He was drunk—really drunk. He probably didn’t even know what he was saying.

“Do you need help?” you asked cautiously. “You look—”

“I’m fine,” he cut you off, straightening up as if to prove it, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the way he swayed on his feet. “Needed to get away from those idiots out there. Too many people.”

You almost laughed. Rafe Cameron, overwhelmed by people? The guy who was always surrounded by friends, girls practically draped over him like accessories? But he looked sincere—well, as sincere as a drunk person could look.

“Why don’t you sit down?” you suggested, gesturing to the empty chair. “You, um, might fall over if you don’t.”

“Pfft, I’m not gonna—” He paused mid-sentence, wobbling precariously. Then, as if he’d just made the smartest decision of his life, he plopped down in the chair, sprawling out like he owned the place.

“See? Told ya m'fine,” he said, flashing you a lopsided grin.

You couldn’t help but snort. “Right.”

He looked at you then, really looked at you, his gaze roaming over your face “What’re you doin’ here?” he asked abruptly.

You glanced at your book, then back at him. "Reading?”

“No, I mean… here,” he insisted, gesturing vaguely around the room. “At this shitty party.”

You shrugged, feeling awkward. “My friends dragged me. I didn’t really want to come.”

Rafe’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and for a moment, he looked almost sober. “Yeah, same.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

He smirked, a flash of the cocky, arrogant guy you’d seen in class. “Yeah, well… they’re fucking assholes, but they’re my assholes, y'know?”

You didn’t, but you nodded anyway. “Sure.”

“So, what’s that book about?”

You hesitated. “Um… it’s a fantasy novel.”

“Fantasy, huh?” He tilted his head, eyeing the cover. “Like wizards and dragons n'shit?”

“Sort of,” you admitted. “It’s about a girl who finds out she has magic and goes on a quest to—”

“Save the world?” he finished with a mock-solemn expression.

“...Yeah,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “But it’s more complicated than that.”

“Bet it is,” he murmured, his gaze still fixed on you. “You’re really into that stuff, huh?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. Why?”

He shrugged, his smirk softening into something that almost looked like genuine interest. “You looked happy, talkin’ about it.”

Your heart did another weird little flip, and you frowned, pushing the feeling down. He was drunk. This didn’t mean anything. He probably wouldn’t even remember it in the morning.

But then, his eyes drifted shut, his head lolling back against the chair. Within seconds, he was snoring. You sat there, stunned.

What the hell had just happened?

Three days later, you were sitting in your usual spot in the lecture hall, flipping through your notes. Class was about to start, and the room was filling up with the usual pre-lecture chatter. You were just getting settled when someone slid into the seat beside you.

You glanced up, expecting one of your friends. But it wasn’t.

It was Rafe.

“Hey, friend,” he said casually, like you hadn’t left him passed out at a party a few nights ago.

You stared at him, completely disoriented. “Hi?”

He grinned, leaning back in his chair like this was completely normal. “Didn’t think I’d forget about you, huh?”

Your eyes narrowed. “I… yeah, actually.”

Rafe’s grin widened, and he leaned in closer, “See, that’s where you’re wrong, princess,” he murmured. “I remember everything.”

Did he just give you a nickname?

Your stomach dropped. “What?”

“Yeah.” He crossed his arms, looking entirely too smug. “You, sitting there all cute with your book, talking about magic and shit. Thought I was too drunk to remember, huh?”

“I—” You stared at him, completely off balance. “Why are you here?”

“Because I want to be,” he said simply. “Got a problem with that?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “No?”

“Good.” He flashed you a grin, all cocky charm. “So, you gonna tell me more about that book, or what?”

You gaped at him. “You actually want to hear about it?”

“Why not?” he shot back, raising an eyebrow. “It made you smile.”

And for some reason, that simple statement knocked the breath out of you.

“Okay,” you said, still unsure if this was some kind of elaborate prank.

But Rafe just leaned back in his seat, eyes fixed on you like you were the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I’ll stick around.”

The next few classes were…weird, to say the least. Ever since Rafe decided you were his new "friend," he’d taken to sitting beside you every lecture, plopping down in the empty seat as if he’d been there all along. It was confusing. Most of the time, he’d breeze in at the last possible minute, sauntering up to your row without so much as a greeting and settling into the chair with that infuriatingly self-assured smirk.

You were already seated, your notebook open and your pen poised to start taking notes when he dropped into the seat beside you with his usual nonchalance. He stretched his long legs out in front of him, casting you a sidelong look as if daring you to acknowledge him first.

“Hi,” you said quietly, eyes flicking back to the front of the room.

“Hey, princess,” he replied, voice low and teasing.

You kept your gaze firmly on your notebook. You’d quickly learned that the best way to deal with him was to pretend his presence didn’t affect you—no matter how much his proximity messed with you.

He’d spent the last three classes nudging your foot under the desk, passing snide comments under his breath, or leaning over just close enough to murmur sarcastic observations about whatever the professor was droning on about. And today was no different.

The lecture started, Professor Callahan launching into her usual detailed overview of sociological theory. You tried to focus, pen flying across your notebook as you jotted down her points.

“Is she always this boring?” he whispered, leaning in slightly so his arm brushed against yours.

You stiffened, eyes fixed on your notes. “If you listened, it wouldn’t be so boring.”

He snorted. “Yeah, right. Like I’m gonna waste my time listening to her go on about… what is it today? Class structure?”

“Yes,” you hissed, refusing to look at him. “And if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to—”

“You’re going to what?” he challenged, his grin audible in his voice.

You snapped your mouth shut, trying to ignore the way his leg brushed against yours under the desk. He was doing it on purpose—nudging your knee every so often, shifting just a little closer until the faint scent of his cologne surrounded you. It was infuriating. And yet, when you glanced sideways at him, he was looking at you with that maddening, lazy grin that made your heart stutter.

“Just pay attention,” you mumbled, cheeks warm.

“Why would I do that when I have such a pretty view right here?”

Your head whipped around, eyes wide. “What?”

But Rafe just smirked, his gaze drifting lazily up and down your face before flicking back to the front of the room as if he hadn’t just made your brain short-circuit.

“Relax, princess. Just messin' with you.”

You swallowed, trying to refocus on the lecture. His attention was like a physical thing—intense and all-consuming. It made you uneasy.

Determined not to give him the satisfaction, you forced yourself to look at the professor, tuning out the heat of Rafe’s gaze. Professor Callahan was in the middle of explaining something about social hierarchies when she suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

“Mr. Cameron.”

The entire class fell silent.

You looked up, eyes widening in surprise as Professor Callahan fixed Rafe with a stern look. “I’m aware that I’m not as pretty as your classmate,” she said dryly, gesturing toward you, “but I would appreciate it if you could pay attention for at least ten minutes.”

A ripple of snickers spread through the room, and your cheeks flamed scarlet. Rafe, however, didn’t even blink, he was completely unruffled and offered the professor a lazy, arrogant smile. “Sorry, Professor. Just got a little distracted.”

Your stomach dropped. He was staring at you, unabashedly.

The professor raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure.” Her tone was dry, unimpressed. “Would you mind keeping your distractions to yourself until after class?”

Another murmur of laughter swept through the room, and you shrank in your seat, mortified. His smirk widened, but he leaned back in his chair, raising his hands in mock surrender.

“Of course, ma’am,” he drawled. “No more distractions.”

Professor Callahan gave him a pointed look, then turned back to the board, resuming her lecture. You sat there, face burning, refusing to look anywhere near Rafe, but you could feel his eyes on you.

“Guess I got you in trouble, huh?” he whispered, leaning closer.

You grit your teeth, still staring resolutely at the front of the room. “Stop talking.”

“Can’t help it,” he murmured, his voice teasing. “You’re way more interesting than this shit.”

“Rafe, I swear—”

“Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” he said lightly, sitting back. But he didn’t take his eyes off you. You could feel him lingering, warm and intent, and you wanted to scream. How was he so calm? So unaffected, like getting called out by the professor was just a minor inconvenience?

You hated every second of it.

“Rafe,” you hissed under your breath, finally daring to glance at him. “Will you just—”

“What?” He leaned in again, eyes bright with mischief. “You want me to go back to ignoring you?”

“Stop staring.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “Can’t promise that, princess.”

Your heart hammered, and you squeezed your pen so tightly it nearly snapped. “Why are you even here?”

He shrugged, his expression turning oddly serious. “I like sitting next to you.”

Rafe Cameron—the arrogant, cocky asshole you’d written off as nothing more than a nuisance—had just chosen to stay by your side.

As soon as class ended, you gathered your things in record time, heart still thumping wildly. The room buzzed with students shuffling out, but you kept your head down, hoping to slip away unnoticed.

Maybe if you were quick enough, you could escape before he decided to make good on his new, annoying habit of sticking to you like glue. But, of course, he was nothing if not persistent.

You’d barely slung your bag over your shoulder when he appeared at your side, his tall frame looming over you as he fell into step like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Heading to lunch?” he asked, all casual charm, as if he hadn’t just spent the entire class making you the center of unwanted attention.

“Yes?” You tried not to sound as thrown as you felt, but the way he looked at you—with that infuriatingly lazy grin—told you he could see right through you.

“Cool. I’m starving.” He said it like it was an invitation, like he was entitled to follow you, and before you could muster up a half-hearted protest, he was already steering you through the crowded hallway.

“Wait, what are you doing?” you demanded, glancing around in panic. People were staring, eyes widening as they took in the sight of Rafe Cameron, of all people, trailing after you. Whispers flitted through the air, curious and disbelieving, and you shrank under the scrutiny, feeling painfully exposed.

“Uh, going to lunch with you?” He made it sound so obvious, his voice lilting with amusement.

“I didn’t invite you!” You glanced at him, trying to tamp down the fluttery, nervous feeling his presence always seemed to stir up. “What if I’m eating with someone else?”

He shrugged. “Then I’ll eat with them too.”

You gawked at him. “What?”

But Rafe just flashed you that cocky, confident grin. “Relax. It’s just lunch.”

Just lunch, he said, like this wasn’t completely absurd.

You narrowed your eyes, debating whether to make a break for it, but he was already steering you toward the main quad, his hand ghosting the small of your back in a way that made your skin tingle.

Your heart hammered as the familiar outdoor seating area came into view. Your friends were already there, sitting at your usual table—a small group of two girls and a guy, all talking animatedly. You hadn’t even sat down yet, and they still managed to look up as one, their expressions morphing from curious to shocked when they caught sight of you—and Rafe—heading straight toward them.

“Uh, hey,” you greeted awkwardly as you approached. They just stared, mouths agape.

Emily was the first to recover. “What the—since when do you two know each other?” she asked, eyes darting between you and Rafe like she was seeing some kind of glitch in the matrix.

“Yeah, what’s going on here?” Max, the guy in your small circle, chimed in, his gaze flicking to Rafe warily. “Is this, like… a project thing?”

“No, it’s not—” you started, but Rafe cut you off with a breezy smile.

“Can’t believe y’all kept her to yourselves this whole time,” he drawled, pulling out the chair beside yours and plopping down like he’d done it a thousand times before. “Thought you’d have the decency to introduce me to the most interesting girl on campus.”

Your friends gaped, eyes wide with shock. You could practically see their brains short-circuiting. Meanwhile, you were fighting the urge to smack him upside the head.

“Please shut up,” you muttered under your breath, cheeks burning.

But he just smirked, his gaze sliding over your stunned friends with lazy amusement. “What?” he said innocently. “It’s true.”

“What the hell is happening right now?” Emily demanded, still staring at you like you’d grown a second head. “You—you and Rafe Cameron?”

You sighed, already regretting every life choice that had led you to this moment. “There is no ‘me and Rafe Cameron.’ He just—he’s being annoying.”

“Annoying?” he repeated, feigning offense. “C’mon. I thought we were past that.”

“We are not past anything,” you snapped, shooting him a glare. But that only seemed to amuse him more.

“Okay, back up,” Max interjected, brow furrowed in confusion. “How do you guys even know each other?”

“Uh, sociology class?” you offered weakly, as if that explained anything. “He’s been sitting next to me.”

“Sitting next to you?” Emily repeated slowly, like she was trying to process a particularly difficult equation. “And now you’re… eating lunch together?”

“It’s not—” You looked helplessly at Rafe, who was watching the exchange with that insufferable smirk. “I didn’t ask him to.”

He looked completely unfazed by the mess he’d caused. “What can I say? I like the company.”

“Since when?” Emily shot back, clearly unconvinced.

Rafe shrugged, “Since she started talking to me.”

Your friends fell silent, eyes wide and suspicious as they turned to you, searching for answers. But you just sat there, feeling utterly, hopelessly lost. What were you supposed to say? That Rafe Cameron had decided, out of nowhere, to insert himself into your life? That he was following you to lunch like this was some sort of normal occurrence?

“Look,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “It’s really not a big deal. He’s just—”

“Rafe Cameron is never ‘just’ anything,” Emily interrupted, folding her arms as she fixed Rafe with a suspicious look. “So what are you up to?"

“Nothing,” Rafe said easily, his smile all sharp edges. “Like I said, I’m just getting to know her.”

“Getting to know her,” Max echoed, clearly skeptical.

“Yeah.” Rafe’s eyes never left yours, his eyes gleaming with something that made your pulse flutter. “What’s so weird about that?”

Your friends exchanged looks. You didn’t blame them. This was weird. More than weird. You’d never been the kind of girl to attract attention—especially not from someone like Rafe. Popular, arrogant, and completely out of your league in every possible way. And yet, here he was, acting like sitting with you at lunch was the most natural thing in the world.

“So,” He said suddenly, turning his attention back to the group, “Are you gonna sit here gaping all day, or are we gonna eat?”

Emily blinked, snapping out of her daze. “Uh, yeah, we’re… we’re eating.”

“Good.” Rafe turned to you, eyebrow raised. “You eating, princess?”

You stared at him, “I—yes?”

“Cool. Want me to grab you something?”

You stared at him, incredulous. “You’re offering to get me lunch?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I am. Now, what do you want?”

“I—” You swallowed, glancing at your friends, who were watching the exchange like it was some sort of bizarre performance. “Um, a sandwich?”

“Got it.” Rafe pushed to his feet, his smile smug. “Be right back.”

And then, to your utter disbelief, he sauntered off toward the food line, leaving you and your friends staring after him.

“What,” Max said slowly, “the hell just happened?”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “I have no idea.”

The awkward lunch with Rafe didn’t end as badly as you expected.

Your friends had spent the entire time shooting you confused, bewildered looks, while he seemed to thrive under their scrutiny, lounging beside you like he belonged. He didn’t flirt—thank God—but he didn’t exactly tone down his usual cocky self either. By the end of it, he’d somehow managed to charm your friends just enough to leave them confused rather than outright hostile. Still, after that lunch, you’d expected him to lose interest, to move on to his usual crowd and forget all about his bizarre little experiment. But of course, he wasn’t known for playing by the rules.

You learned that the hard way two days later.

It was late afternoon, and you were holed up in the campus library, buried under a mountain of textbooks and notes for an upcoming exam. The library was your sanctuary—quiet, calm, and blissfully free of distractions. At least, until Rafe sauntered in. You didn’t notice him at first, too absorbed in your notes. The library was busy, students murmuring as they worked, the rustle of pages and the faint clack of keyboards filling the air. You were hunched over a particularly dense passage in your sociology textbook when you felt it—

You stiffened, glancing up cautiously, and there he was.

He leaned against the bookshelf a few feet away, his eyes fixed on you with a lazy, assessing look. He didn’t move, just watched you, his lips quirking in that infuriating smirk when your eyes met.

“What are you doing here?” you hissed, glancing around nervously. No one seemed to be paying attention, but you still felt like the entire room was suddenly staring.

“Studying,” he said, straight-faced.

“Since when do you study in the library?”

“Since now,” he said easily, pushing off the bookshelf and strolling over to your table. He pulled out the chair across from you, dropping into it like he had every right to be there. “What? Can’t a guy broaden his horizons?”

You stared at him, incredulous. “You’re joking.”

“Not today, princess.” He leaned forward, resting his chin in his hand as he peered at your open book. “So, what’re we learning?”

“We are not learning anything,” you muttered, eyes narrowing. “I’m studying. You are… I don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Keeping you company,” he said simply. “You looked lonely.”

Your mouth fell open. “Lonely?”

“Yeah.” He tilted his head, his gaze sweeping over your face. “All holed up in here with your books. Thought I’d help.”

What was he even talking about? This was insane. He didn’t just hang out in the library, especially not to “keep someone company.” He was the kind of guy who spent his free time at parties, or on the field, or wherever people like him thrived. And yet, here he was, sitting across from you in the library like this was normal.

“Rafe,” you said slowly, “you don’t even know what I’m studying.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does if you’re trying to help,” you shot back, frustration seeping into your voice. “You’re—what are you even—”

“Okay, okay,” he interrupted, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Calm down. Just trying to see what’s got you all riled up.”

You bit back a groan, rubbing your temples. This was absurd. You didn’t need—didn’t want—his attention.

“Fine,” you muttered, turning your textbook around so he could see the page. “I’m going over Durkheim’s theory of social integration.”

Rafe leaned in, squinting at the page. “Durkheim, huh?”

“Yes,” you said, a little impatiently. “He believed that society functions through a collective conscience—shared beliefs and values that bind people together.”

“Sounds boring as hell,” Rafe said bluntly.

“It’s not boring,” you retorted before you could stop yourself. “It’s actually really interesting—he argued that a lack of social integration could lead to anomie, a state of normlessness that causes people to feel disconnected and isolated.”

Rafe stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. At least it felt that way to you.

“What?” you demanded, suddenly self-conscious. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He shrugged, a strange, thoughtful smile tugging at his lips. “Just… you get really into this stuff, don’t you?”

Your cheeks flushed. “It’s sociology. It’s important.”

“Yeah, but…” He shook his head, “It’s kinda cute.”

You blinked, your brain short-circuiting. “Cute?”

“Yeah.” He leaned back, crossing his arms as he regarded you with a casual, easy confidence that made your heart flutter. “You get all intense when you talk about it. Like, you actually care.”

“I—I do care,” you stammered, “It’s my major.”

“I know,” he murmured. “I like that about you.”

What—what was that supposed to mean? Why was he looking at you like that, like he actually meant it?

Before you could even begin to untangle your thoughts, a shadow fell over the table, and you glanced up to see another student standing there—a tall, lanky guy with dark hair and glasses. He looked vaguely familiar, probably from one of your classes.

“Uh, hey,” the guy said awkwardly, glancing between you and Rafe. “Are—are you using this seat?”

Rafe’s expression changed instantly, “Yeah,” he said flatly. “We are.”

The guy blinked, taken aback. “Oh, uh, sorry, I just—”

“You just can find another table,” Rafe cut in, “We’re a little busy here.”

You gaped at him, mortified. “Rafe, stop.”

But he didn’t even glance at you. He just kept staring down the poor guy, his posture tense and unyielding until, with a muttered apology, the student backed off, scurrying away like he’d just had a close encounter with a predator.

“What the hell was that?” you hissed as soon as the guy was out of earshot. “He just wanted to sit down!”

“Yeah, and we’re studying,” Rafe said dismissively. “No room for distractions.”

“We’re not studying anything!” you shot back, resisting the urge to smack him. “You’re just sitting here, being—being weird.”

“Not weird,” he corrected, leaning in again. “Protective.”

You froze, your mouth going dry. “Protective?”

“Yeah.” His eyes were dark, intense, locking onto yours. “Can’t have just anyone bothering you, can I?”

After the bizarre encounter in the library, you were convinced Rafe would drop this whole… whatever it was. Surely, following you to lunch and then “protecting” you in the library was enough.

So when you found yourself at another party two nights later—dragged along by Emily despite your vehement protests—you knew it was only a matter of time before he found you. Because somehow, no matter where you went, Rafe had made it his mission to seek you out.

“Come on, you need to have some fun,” Emily had insisted, half-pulling, half-dragging you through the front door of one of the fraternity houses on campus. The music was already blaring, the heavy bass vibrating through your body. People were packed in the main room, laughing, talking, drinking, the buzz of chatter filling the air.

“This isn’t my idea of fun,” you muttered, hugging your arms around yourself as you tried to avoid brushing against the partygoers. It wasn’t that you disliked parties, exactly—it was just that the noise, the sheer volume of people could get overwhelming quickly.

“Just stay for an hour,” Emily pleaded. “Please? I swear it’ll be more fun than you think. We can dance, have a few drinks—”

“I don’t dance,” you cut in flatly, giving her a pointed look.

“Okay, fine, I’ll dance, and you… can hang out and people-watch,” she amended, undeterred. “Besides, who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone.”

You gave her a withering stare. “Yeah, because I’m such a social butterfly.”

You sighed, resigned to your fate, and began making your way through the press of bodies. After a few minutes you managed to find a relatively quiet corner in the back, near the stairs, and gratefully leaned against the wall. Maybe if you stayed out of sight long enough, Emily would give up on trying to get you to socialize and let you leave early. It was a long shot, but you could hope.

You hadn’t been there long when you felt it—the now-familiar prickling sensation of someone’s gaze lingering on you. Sure enough, when you glanced up, there he was.

Rafe, in all his infuriating glory, leaning against the wall a few feet away, his eyes locked on you with that lazy focus that made your heart stutter. He looked unfairly good, dressed in a dark button-up that clung to his frame in all the right ways, his hair tousled just enough to look effortlessly cool. And, as usual, he was watching you like you were the only person in the room.

You narrowed your eyes at him, your stomach twisting in irritation and something else. “Are you stalking me now?” you demanded, crossing your arms as you glared at him.

Rafe’s lips curved into a slow, teasing smile. “Would it be so bad if I was?”

“Yes,” you said flatly. “It would be very bad.”

He chuckled, the sound low, sending an unwelcome shiver down your spine. “Relax, princess. I just saw you standing here all alone and thought I’d come say hi.”

“Hi,” you muttered, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now you can leave.”

But he didn’t budge. Instead, he straightened, pushing off the wall and closing the distance between you in a few long strides until he was standing directly in front of you, his presence overwhelming.

You tried to step back, but the wall blocked your escape.

“Actually, I was thinking we could, I don’t know, hang out for a bit?” he suggested, tilting his head as he regarded you with a faux-innocent smile.

“Why?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Rafe blinked, seemingly taken aback by the question. “Why?”

“Yes,” you insisted, frustration bubbling up inside you. “Why do you keep… doing this? Showing up, sitting with me, following me to lunch, acting like—like we’re friends or something. What is your deal, Cameron?”

Slowly he reached up, bracing one hand on the wall beside your head, leaning in so close you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.

“My deal,” he murmured, his voice low and smooth, “is that I like you.”

No. No, no, no.

That couldn’t be right. People didn't just like you. They tolerated you, maybe, or found you useful sometimes, but they didn't like you. Not like that. Not in the way he was implying. You felt panic rising in your chest, like a wave that was too big to stop. You couldn’t stop it.

“You’re lying,” you said shakily, shaking your head in disbelief. “You’re just—this is some kind of game, isn’t it? Some—some bet, or—”

Rafe’s expression tightened, his jaw clenching. “It’s not a game,” he ground out, his eyes flashing. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

You swallowed hard, your chest aching. No, this couldn’t be happening. This didn’t make sense.

“I don’t believe you,” you shook your head stubbornly.

His eyes narrowed, “No?”

“No,” you repeated, crossing your arms defiantly. “You’re just… you. You can’t just decide you like me out of nowhere.”

“I didn’t decide,” he murmured, “It just happened.”

Your breath hitched, your heart racing. Why was he doing this to you? Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

“I—” You broke off, struggling to find words, but before you could answer, a loud voice interrupted.

“Yo, Rafe! There you are, man!”

You both jerked back, startled, and you glanced over to see one of Rafe’s friends—Topper, if you remembered correctly—stumbling over, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“What are you doing back here?” Topper slurred, his gaze sliding to you. He blinked, “Who’s this?”

Rafe stepped in front of you slightly, his posture tense and protective. “Doesn’t matter,” he said curtly, “Go find someone else to bother.”

Topper blinked, taken aback. “Whoa, man, chill. I was just—”

“Go,” Rafe repeated, his tone brooking no argument.

Topper stared at him for a long moment, then slowly backed off, muttering under his breath as he disappeared into the crowd. As soon as he was gone, Rafe turned back to you, his eyes softening again.

“Sorry about that,” he murmured, “Didn’t mean to—”

“Why did you do that?” you cut in, your heart still pounding.

Rafe frowned. “Do what?”

“Get rid of him,” you said, shaking your head in confusion. “He was your friend. Why would you—”

Maybe you’d misread him. Maybe he didn’t actually mean any of what he said. He was probably just bored, looking for some amusement—another toy to play with for a little while.

“I wanted to talk to you. Not him.”

You blinked, bewildered. “But he’s your friend.”

He gave a half-hearted shrug. “So? Doesn’t mean I want him interrupting us.”

Us. Like there was an “us.” Like there could ever be an “us.”

You shook your head, trying to clear the fog of confusion. “But I don’t understand,” you mumbled. “I don’t get it. You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” he said quietly, his eyes holding yours in a way that made it hard to breathe. “More than you think.”

You frowned. It was impossible to shake the nagging feeling that he was just… playing with you. That this was all some sick joke and at any moment, the punchline would hit, and you’d be the idiot.

“You’re just messing with me,” you muttered, taking a small step back to put some space between you. “You’re bored or something.”

“I’m not bored,” he said firmly, stepping forward to close the gap you’d just created. “I told you, I wouldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t ask for any of this. You’ve been following me around, showing up where I am, saying all these things like—like we’re something, but we’re not.”

Rafe stepped closer, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What are you talking about? You really think I’m just messing around?”

“Yes!” you practically shouted, throwing your hands up. “Yes, I do! Why else would you be doing this? You’re Rafe Cameron, for god’s sake. You don’t even like me. This is just some twisted game to you, isn’t it?”

You stared at him, trying to read his face, trying to find any hint of dishonesty, any sign that this was all an act. But all you saw was that same intensity, that same focus, like you were the only person who mattered.

Your chest tightened, panic grazing at you. This wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. People didn’t just… like you. They didn’t seek you out at parties or show up in libraries to talk about sociology. Guys like Rafe didn’t choose people like you. There had to be some ulterior motive.

“You show up out of nowhere, act like I’m some project, some… someone who needs your protection—why, Rafe? Because I don’t fit into your world? Because I’m some joke to you and your friends?”

“That’s not it,” He growled, his voice defensive. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t know what I’m talking about?” you scoffed, shaking your head. “You haven’t been honest about anything. You haven’t given me a reason to believe any of this.”

“You think I’m lying?

You moved your head again, harder this time. “That doesn’t make sense. You’re—you’re saying things that don’t make sense. I don’t understand.”

He took a slow, poising breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "What doesn't make sense to you?"

"All of this," you replied, your voice quivering with frustration, "You, acting like you—like you actually care. Like you see me. People don’t just do that, not for someone like me. I don’t—" You cut yourself off, not sure how to finish the sentence, your thoughts spiraling.

It wasn’t just that you couldn’t believe him; it was that you didn’t know how to believe him. Your experiences had taught you to be wary, to always look for the catch, because there always was one.

Always.

Rafe's brows drawn together in something that almost looked like concern. "Someone like you?" he repeated, "What does that even mean?"

You swallowed, feeling your insecurities gripping down on your chest. "It means I’m not… like you. I don’t know how to talk to people, I don’t get things right all the time. People don’t notice me, and when they do, it’s usually because I’ve done something wrong, or because they want something from me. That’s just how it is."

He shook his head slowly. "That’s not how I see you."

You opened your mouth to argue, to say something—anything—to dismiss what he was saying, to protect yourself from the disappointment that was sure to come. But Rafe didn’t give you the chance.

"You think I’m messing with you because you’re not like everyone else? Is that it? You think I’m playing some kind of game because you don’t fit into some stupid idea of who’s supposed to matter?"

You wanted to pull away, to recoil into the safety of your doubts, but something in his voice, in the way he was looking at you, made you stop.

"I’m not going to pretend like I know everything about you," Rafe continued, no less serious. "But I know enough to know that I’m not bored. I don’t care if you don’t fit in with my world, or whatever you think that means. I like that you’re passionate about the things you care about. I like that you don’t put up with anyone’s shit—not even mine." A small, almost self-deprecating smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I’ve spent enough time around fake people to know the difference."

You weren’t used to this—this kind of sincerity. It felt too real. And part of you still wanted to push it away, to reject it before it had a chance to hurt you. But another part of you—a much smaller, quieter part—was whispering that maybe he meant it.

"Why me?"

"Because you're you," he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

For a long, breathless moment, the two of you just stood there, the noise of the party fading into the background. Your mind was still processing everything, but there was something in the way he was looking at you, something that made you feel—just for a second—like maybe you could trust this.

You shook your head, "I’m not… I’m not good at this," you admitted, your voice uncertain. "At understanding what people mean, or knowing if they’re being serious or not. I don’t know how to read you."

Rafe’s eyes softened even more at your confession, and he took a deep breath, like he was trying to figure out how to make you believe him. "I get that," he said quietly. "And I’m not always great at this either. But I’m serious. I wouldn’t lie to you, especially not about this."

You wanted to believe him. More than anything, you wanted to believe him. But there was still that tiny voice of doubt in the back of your mind, reminding you of all the times you’d been wrong before, of all the times you’d trusted someone only to be let down.

You hesitated, your throat tight. "I don’t know if I can."

He didn’t push, didn’t demand anything from you. Instead, he just nodded slowly.

"That’s okay. You don’t have to believe me right now. But I’ll be here when you’re ready."

And with that, he stepped back, giving you the space you so desperately needed. He didn’t try to force anything, didn’t press for more. Instead, he just gave you a small, almost hopeful smile and turned, disappearing back into the crowd.

And as you stood there, your heart still pummeling into your ribs, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d been wrong about him after all.

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chaoticloving · 2 years ago

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idk if you write smut so if you’re uncomfortable totally ignore this!!! but!!! imagine y/n and recently fiance!harry and him fingering you with his ring finger talking abt marriage and shit 🫣🫣

future husband

Harry styles x reader (masterlist)

summary: Harry proposes and it leads to sex

warnings: smut

a/n: IM SORRY THIS TOOK TOO LONG I JUST NEEDED TO BE IN THE RIGHT MOOD TO WRITE SMUT AND THEN TUMBLR DIDNT PUT IT IN THE TAGS AHHH

Harry's ring obsession started when he was in his early twenties.

He rarely wore any type of a jewelry or anything flamboyant when he was younger. He painted his nails on occasion, something to relax himself with or whenever Y/n was doing hers, but nothing too grand.

But a simple silver chain given by his one and only changed that.

He started getting a little more into jewelry, necklaces, earrings, and his favorite, rings. He liked the intricate designs that rings ment; they could be loud and a stable piece, or they could be a subtle addition to the outfit.

They could also symbolize love.

After dating Y/n for three months, he knew he was certain that he wanted to stay forever with her, he just didn't allow himself to think of marriage this early into a relationship--at least not until his mother asked when he was going to propose after meeting her around their six-moth anniversary.

Finally though, after just under two years, he popped the question. He got a beautiful engagement ring, a band with beautiful engravings throughout, and of course, a huge fucking rock.

"Harry." Y/n sniffled, seeing Harry on his knee, ring in hand. "Of course, yes!"

A lovely proposal in a quiet and quant cottage away from civilization was perfect and exactly what they needed, not only for their privacy but for the ability to have sex in the middle of the woods. Harry bought this property not too long ago and waited for the right moment to take Y/n there, a proposal seemed like the best time.

The kissing of course led to more, how could it not? Harry was always a passionate lover, always eager to please, so it was honestly no surprise when the soft kiss turned more sensual.

"Fuck, I'm so glad you finally asked." Y/n mumbled softly as their lips kept touching, coming back for more. "Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you as my husband."

Harry moved onto her neck, biting softly as he went down. "It's all I've ever wanted." He groaned as Y/n's hand trailed down to his pants, she teased him slightly, earning a moan from him. "And to please you again. Lay down."

Y/n made herself comfortable on the blue and white picnic blanket. Harry moved the basket and wine bottles out of the way. He pulled flipped her dress up, revealing her lacy set on panties.

"Planning to seduce me today?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I had a hunch you might be asking me to marry you." She shrugged her shoulders, biting her lip to hide, poorly, a cheeky smile.

"How?" Harry gasped, his fingers tracing the band of her underwear. "It was top secret!"

"Oh come on, H." She giggled, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. "You take me on a surprise getaway, no one around, to a cottage that is darling... It's the most romantic thing you have ever done."

Harry blushed. The midday sun gleaming perfectly on his skin, twinkling his green eyes and highlighting the freckles that scattered his slightly tanned skin. Y/n couldn't help but feel so lucky. This beautiful man, inside and out, is now her fiancé; she started to tear up, which, of course, caused Harry to tear up as well.

"No don't start baby." She told him. "We need to focus so we can have sex. No tears now."

She wiped her tears then Harry's. "You started it." He mumbled, smiling as he finally pulled her panties down. "We just love each other too much."

"I guess so-" Y/n gasped as Harry entered a figure into her. The familiar feeling was welcomed as the subtle feeling of pleasure began to buble up inside of her. "Fuck that feels so good."

Harry was leaning half on and half off of her, his right hand fingering. her while his other held him up so he could kiss by her ear.

"Don't get one of your rings stuck in me." She warned, looking sternly at her love. Harry shook his head and kissed her softly.

"I would never."

Harry had on a simple band, one similar to the new one adorned on Y/n's finger. He figured while he was buying the engagement ring he could buy a matching one for himself.

"I can't wait to marry you." He spoke softly, creating a new hickey just under her ear lobe. "Gonna wanna fuck you again when I see you in that dress, don't know if I could wait till the honeymoon."

He added a finger, adding to the pleasure.

"And seeing you with that ring...It's going to be as sexy as your lingerie. Just knowing you're mine and I'm the only one that can ever see you like this."

"Fuck, H. Gonna come."

"I'm the only one who will get to see my wife like this. And everyone will know I can only to this do you...I'm the only one capable." Harry's words were possessive yet reassuring, the constant validation that he was the only one for her pushed her over the edge, leaving a gasp from her mouth.

"Har I need you inside." She yanked him fully on-top of her, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down after Harry quickly pulled his fingers out of her, but not before a little taste.

He helped her strip himself, knowing she is just as possessive as him but just doesn't always vocalize it, but her actions speak louder than her lack of words.

Harry entered Y/n, the euphoric feeling washing over him as he let out a loud moan, mentally thanking himself for buying the isolated land. "Feel so good."

"You stretch me out so much." She gasped. "My future husband."

Harry thrusted, a reflex from her words in her sexy, faint, voice. "Don't say that or else I'm going to come in less then a minute." He paused, staring into his loves eyes. "Want to impress my future wife."

"You impress me every day. Every time I see you I have something new I love about you." Y/n leaned in a kissed him, it was mainly teeth, but still perfect nonetheless. "Today it's your cock."

Harry stopped thrusting briefly. "You mean it hasn't impressed your before today?"

"It's the first time I've been impress by my fiancé's cock, I was already impressed when he was my boyfriend." She assured. Harry rolled his eyes and got back to thrusting, moving his ring finger down to her core and rubbing soft circles on her clit, making her jolt slightly.

"I'm gonna cum again, H."

"Me too."

They both moaned as they climaxed at the same time. Harry collapsed onto Y/n's chest, arms exhausted from keeping himself up. They stayed like that for no more then five minutes, Harry's cock softening inside of her as they relaxed.

"I can't believe you're going to be my wife." Harry thought out loud. "Never thought I'd work up the courage."

"Why? You knew I'd say yes."

"I dunno, just all the what-if's got inside my head. You know how that is." Harry mumbled, nuzzling his face into the side of her neck. He kissed over her blooming hickeys too, soft contrast between his sexual and romantic desire for her.

"Well your next biggest concern is finding were to go for our honeymoon." Y/n said. "Might have to go all over."

"I'll pay for every penny of it."

"Most defiantly. You know I have expensive taste." Y/n joked. "The wedding is going to cost half a fortune on its own."

Harry smiled, kissing her cheek then her lips. "I'd spend all the money in the world to make you happy. I'd go broke to see you smile."

"Stop, you're going to make me cry again." She whispered, tears starting to form.

"I'll just kiss them away, my love." He sighed. "It's my job as your future husband."

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one direction #bf!harry styles #husband!harry #husband!harry styles #harry styles fic #fiance!harry #fiance!harry styles #harry edward styles #harry styles x fem!reader

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phagodyke · 5 months ago

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ok moment over its all good

oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.

#probably for the best. at least I've realised I can't do it now rather than once I got there bc that'd be a lot more stressful #I can get the rest of my chores done today and then find smth fun to do at home instead that won't be as overwhelming #I havent actually played any videogames for 3 weeks now bc I've been finding even doing little things to relax so difficult #so maybe that should be my plan instead :-) get my ass back on elden ring!!#and its okay ive seen the band before anyway and maybe theyll come back another year!!#and if not well at least i got to see them last time it was one of my fave gigs ive ever been to.. glad i have the memory of it #like its a shame but not the end of the world. maybe next time theyll play local so its not so much hassle for me to get to!#plus im seeing another fave band in a few weeks anyway and that one IS local and i roped a few friends in >:)#so will 1000000% be going to that.. always something else to look forward to #but yea its cool. i can refund my train tickets. not much sunk cost anyway cuz the gig tix were cheap in the first place #i was just rly angry at myself for a moment abt it but well. its been a difficult time lately and im still recovering so i need to be more #patient with myself. these things happen.. i dont have anything to prove by forcing myself #ive done similar solo trips in the past and i will be able to do them again eventually when my feet are more solid on the ground #and im still in the middle of titrating medication which has been a rocky thing like once i get that sorted itll be so much easier #just bad timing innit!#sad to be missing out on things with friends this weekend too but its ok. i hope there'll be other times in the future #where i dont have conflicting plans n I do actually get invited. I was worried abt tripping my rsd over it but I think I'm safe from that #might have a moment or two where it twinges but nothing significant #again its prolly for the best. if I had gone or been planning on going I think that actually wouldve set it off quite badly #bc i still havent fully regained confidence/trust in those specific friends yet and idk exactly how long itll be until I do #and I'm not in the right state to go out to big group events either but thats cool I have 2 irl socials planned next week already #and we'll probs do a movie night and I'll call one of my other friends another night. so plenty of other nice things planned :-)#man ive given myself a hell of a headache im gonna take some paracetamol and make lunch #and then ill write a list of chores for this afternoon. surprised at how quickly I calmed down n thought things thru actually #maybe meds are actually helping.. hmm. anyway sorry for losing my shit I experience mild stress and start acting like a prey animal #.diaries

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monakisu · 10 months ago

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How did the cat tank arc make you like torisai?? Isn't that the chapter where Toritsuka literally betrays him and doesn't believe in him at all, until Saiki shows how unconditionally kind he is despite the betrayal?? And then he still says he has a shitty personality afterward...

TOXIC YAOI BABY!!!!

saiki will diss toritsuka as much as he wants, will drone over and over how the author should just go ahead and kill off what's obviously deadweight—yet when the chance for precisely that comes, he still risks life and limb to keep this nuisance safe... and toritsuka will whine and whinge abt saiki-san's hardass rules but he still thinks of him as a god?? "our god has returned!!"—i think that's what he cheered when saiki's powers came back, lol? he clearly worships saiki as some super powerful entity/deity, yet he still has the audacity to beg him for dumbass pervert favors... i've never witnessed this breed of worshipper before... fascinating specimen.

their relationship has a sort of an "enemies to lovers" flavor, except in this case it's more like "haters to enemies to haters again with a tad bit more understanding for each other". at this point, toritsuka mayyy be saiki's closest confidant? arguably the one who knows saiki the best! (subconsciously. he's too dumb to consciously realize it.) he'll likely be one of the first people saiki turns to whenever he needs help, which sucks because toritsuka is sorta useless, power and personality-wise HAHAHA

also toritsuka is probably the only (non-familial) person saiki is so flat-out MEAN to! it's hilarious!! yknow how romantic partners are supposed to bring the best out of each other? Not Happening Here. in the slimy presence of toritsuka, saiki is at his most honest but also his worst. toritsuka is the antithesis to the emotional support puppies zookeepers will pair anxious cheetahs with; he's more like........................

lice.

yeah. he's the lice in saiki's fur. plainly speaking, he's a pest!!!

also toritsuka's betrayal was sorta necessary in my opinion, because this guy's too damn dumb to learn a lesson the normal way. he absolutely needs to be put into Situations in order to walk away with at least a teeny tiny sliver of character growth. and i definitely credit a huge part of his betrayal to kusuke's psychological warfare. pitting a super-human cambridge genius against a sub-human highschool dumbass... poor, pathetic toritsuka never stood a chance!! still, the resentment he'd been harboring definitely also contributed to his backstabbing. howeveeer, now that he's seen firsthand saiki's affection for him, that resentment has vanished! he's been shaken to his core!! the worship has been amplified to the MAX!!!

lastly, i just think it's hopelessly hideously HYSTERICAL to have the world's worst womanizer fall in love with a man!! and have the world's most sexless guy fall in love with a future sex offender!!! they're so fundamentally incompatible it loops back around to being compatible?! it's a real comedy. tragedy. tragicomedy. (saiki and toritsuka would doubtlessly view it as a tragedy)

lastly-lastly: height difference. that is all.

thanks sending for this ask! it let me think (<< very rare) and put into words why i actually like torisai besides "hehehe hater x hater". writing all of this made me like it even more!! but i think this may have made you despise it more? oops. my tastes are strange and off-putting. i mean, kusuke is literally my favorite saiki character, after saiki himself... that's gotta tell you something.

#mailbox 💌#美迪 archive #torisai #saiki kusuo #toritsuka reita #saiki kusou no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki k #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #doodle #rkgk #画画 #插图 #涂鸦

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apolsup · 13 days ago

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The super epic polycule cooking

Fhs week day 5

Polyship - Traditional/FolkClothing - Scarring

This started as me joking abt peeling potatoes being the ultimate date idea, I love peeling potatoes so yeah

So basically this is my idea of the different uhh dynamics between each of these guys,

Anyways I'll explain some things bc I've been thinking about this for a while now

I feel like Aiden and Oliver (my Bonnie) were dating for a while now since they've known each other for a long time, Aiden probably confessed first (at like 15) since hes a bit uhhh act first think later. Oliver was like "cool, wanna date then?" And they've been together ever since

Bon is obviously crushing on Oliver, but knows hes dating Aiden, starts hanging out with Freddy (Oliver asked him if it was cool for him to bring him in order to help him out since yknow guitar) and they hit it off, instead of falling into a codependent situationship like my freddon au, they start dating (bc of the little detail of Aiden and Oliver already dating)

So turns out, Aiden and Freddy are kind of developing feelings for each other, Freddy feels SO guilty bc hes crushing on his best friend boyfriend who is also his best friend, he still loves Bon to death but he cant just pick one and forget about the other he just can't. Aiden is having his own internal hell because he loves his boyfriend but yknow why the fuck is he also crushing on his best friend???? But since hes always been honest with Oliver (it took a while to get there) he decides to just tell him. Oliver has never really been someone to care about society's rule, so he's like "ok? Date him then I don't really mind or care dude, it's fine" so now Aiden has to talk to Freddy about this BUT Bon is also in the picture in case he forgot

So Freddy has been feeling awful for days and has no idea how to tell Bon about what the fuck is going on. Aiden decides to talk to him, and is honest, I like you, I still love my boyfriend, I asked him and Oliver said he doesn't mind, but I know about you and jhon- uh Bon, but if hes cool with it id love to take you out on a date or something I don't know...

Freddy of course is feelings #guiltyaf but also relived to know that at least

1. His feelings are not one sided and

2. Oliver is fine with the idea of sharing a partner

Of course hed like to accept but says he needs time to talk to Bon about it but that he also kind of feels some kind of vibe there and leaves, giving him a little bit of hope at least

Now talking to Bon? It was hard, he loves him but knows hes insecure about this topic (love, dating and stuff) so he tries to be as gentle as possible and tells him, I still love you, but ive been developing feelings for Aiden and uhmm recently he told me that hes been crushing on me and already confirmed with Oliver, and hes fine with it so he wants to like uhmm take me out but I didn't want to give him an answer until I talked about this with you and uhhh yeah I think thats all I still love you I promise I just need to know what you think about this

Bon is surprised, stunned, shell shocked even. He takes his time to think and talk to Freddy. Long story short, he accepts but needs a hell of reassurance that everything between them is fine. After this emotional talk, he timidly asks Freddy about Oliver, Freddy is surprised to see that he still has some small bit of hope in there but smiles and squeezes his hand, he tells him that he could give it a shot and hed be completely supportive and help out if he needed it, but he didn't know how or what would Oliver say if he did ask him out

So how do Bon and Aiden start dating? Well since they're metamours they have to at least be neutral to each other, at some point when they are all hanging out Aiden and Bon would have to interact more, turns out Aiden is kinda cool and okay maybe a little cute. Aiden thinks Bon is nice and its fun to watch him get nervous about horror topics, over flirting with Freddy or other things so they like each other at least enough to consider each other a friend. Time passes and turns out they like-like each other, by this moment they're used to the whole 'polyamory' thing and after giving a heads up to their partners (they both knew way before them) they go out together and well now they're dating too! After talking Aiden also hypes Bon up to ask Oliver out, he tells him "look ive seen some sparks between you two especially when you're playing the guitar, I know Oliver and im sure he'll accept!" So he does, and surprise! He accepted yay!!

So Bon and Onni have some story, way before meeting the animatronics he used to hang out with the nightmares (he used to be way edgier than how he was when he met the gang, his teenage angst was perfect for them!) And got along great with Onni since they had the smallest age gap (a year) theres two aus where they have a story, one where they were dating and Bon broke up with him due to changing and leaving the nightmares behind to befriend and form the toys with the girls, so Onni tries to get him back but is ignored. In the other, Onni has a crush on him but Bon rejects him due to his father being, well his father and not providing a safe space for his kid to realize who he is (Bon did return his feelings but got scared and chose to flee and then he meets the girls and forms the toys). The story changes a bit depending on the au, but it has the same general vibe, Bon finds him Onni sad at the library looking at his failed test (Onni got in with a scholarship and his ability with the guitar btw) Bon would usually just leave but the guilt kicks him again right in the ass and decides to walk up to him and ask if he's okay, Onni is still bummed out so he just answers by pointing at his test and the big red "2.0" (nota mínima d acá idk) and sighs. Bon knows this will end up in disaster but still, sits down after saying "I'm so gonna regret this..." And asks him if he could help him out, Onni accepts, turns out no one else wanted to help him because of his reputation.

So they start meeting at the library occasionally to study, and to bons credit Onnis grades seem to get better! They start to get more comfortable around each other and they fall back into a friendship, it's sweet, inside that library they get to joke and talk as if no time had passed, it feels as if they were barely 13 again. Bon apologizes for being a dick (he was kind of an asshole for just leaving and ignoring the nightmares) but also he needs him to apologize to those he hurt, Bon knows about his tendency to steal from Oliver and making fun of him, he can't exactly just ignore that.

So Onni does so, because he did feel at least a little guilty about it, especially more now that he had a more... Morally oriented friend/potential future boyfriend? He goes and apologizes to Oliver (and other people he hurt as well), Oliver obviously, doesn't like him and hits him, hard. Twice. A knuckle sandwich just for you! And leaves, Bon after hearing about this tends to his poor black eye and split lip (damn Oliver you had that talent hidden huh) but also "you have to admit you did have it coming" "yeah, yeah I know"

Of course they can feel the tension, they know that the other feels the same way but they dance around each other for a while before actually confessing (because their friends/partners were so DONE with it they had to force them to do it) and start dating

Aiden and Oliver DO. NOT. like him at all but they tolerate him for Bons sake, he did prove that he can handle him and control his destructive tendencies, so they accept him under the condition that he does not try to interact with them, and everyone is content with that, (also Freddy doesn't particularly care).

Fred is still here, by this time the animatronics all know about him and they like him, they're friends, Bon learnt about him some time after dating Freddy and they're also on friendly terms, they like to sing together whenever Freddy allows him to possess the body for a while. Fred kind of feels some sparks with Bon but he doesn't know how to explore this so hes ignoring this for a while (Bon is kind of unaware but he does kind of feel warm inside whenever they're sitting side by side and brushing knees)

Out of everyone, Fred is closer to Auryn (my golden) because they can relate to feeling trapped in their living situation and not having enough freedom, due to different reasons since one is a ghost with no memories of his life and the other is a repressed guy with a controlling family but they relate to each other a lot. Fred and Auryn have been dancing around each other for a loooong while, the slowest slow burn to ever slow burn. But Freddy has been pushing Fred to ask golden out for a long time. And when he's just about to do it, Auryn beats him to it! Damn it Goulding! (Joy helped) he says yes but they have to be subtle because Auryns family is, as said before, very controlling and if they ever found out about this they could take Auryn back to England (mi golden es British 😱😱) to finish his studies there so yeah, it sucks but it is what it is.

Auryn and Bon are chill around each other, not exactly friends but they like the other. Bon is also on the "im scared of my parental figures control over me haha" club so he and Auryn have at least something in common. They kiiiinda have some sort of attraction but they haven't talked about it yet.

But yeah I think thats all, maybe ill pick this up some other time bc its so fun to think about different aus where the super epic polycule exists but whatever

OHMYGOD this took a long time to write what the fuck anyways byeeeee

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sporesgalaxy · 10 months ago

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I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna

hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!

First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.

This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.

Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.

(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)

Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.

The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.

When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.

•••

Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.

An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!

And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.

A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.

There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).

The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?

It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.

I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.

Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?

You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.

For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.

I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.

Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!

I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!

#asks #art tips

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aanoia · 2 years ago

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Hi, how’s your day going? Could you do a Mattheo riddle and Draco Malfoy fix where they accidentally stop paying attention to the reader and she thinks it’s something she did when I’m reality they are having a hard time processing their feelings for the reader. I hope that makes sense. It’s completely up to you if you want to do this!

Yes of course! Sorry it took forever to respond, I've been super busy moving and doing finishing touches on renovating my new house! I should be getting a lot of requests out soon, hopefully at least.

Also, my day was alright. How was yours?

Can't Help But Love You

Draco Malfoy x reader, Matteo Riddle x reader

Words; abt 700 each

Warnings; none

Yall I had to do research on how Matteo was bc ik nothing abt him, idek if what I wrote for him is anything like him so lemme know

Draco Malfoy

“So yeah, that’s why I absolutely hate her. Do you get it now?” Y/n asked Draco as she sat across him from the table, explaining why she hated Hermione Granger so much. He continued looking at his plate, not looking up. Y/n waved her hand in front of his face, “Hello?” He blinked and looked up.

“What?” He asked, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, “What?” he asked again, clearer this time.

“Were you paying any attention to what I just said?” Y/n questioned.

“Uh, what were we talking about?”

Y/n scoffed and shook her head, pushing her plate forward and standing up. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Wait, Y/n.” Draco said but she shook my head again.

“No, you keep ignoring me and I’m tired of it. I’m gonna go study. Bye, Draco.” Y/n walked off, leaving an exasperated Draco behind. Draco groaned and buried his head in his hands.

A few stray tears left Y/n’s eyes as she walked out of the Great Hall quickly. Draco hadn’t been paying much attention to her for weeks now and she couldn’t help but think it was something she did. She constantly replayed the last few months she had with him but couldn’t find anything she did, which only made it worse. She loved Draco. She was in love with him. He was her best friend. The boy she’s been secretly pining over since first year. It hurts that he’s just ignoring her now.

Y/n quietly sat in the Slytherin common room, seeking warmth from the fire. She flipped the page of her book as someone sat down in the large chair next to hers. She spared a quick glance up and immediately looked back down and continued reading.

“I’m sorry.” Draco whispered, just loud enough for Y/n to pick up on. She continued looking at her book, however her eyes no longer flit along the words. “I-uh, I don’t mean to ignore you. I’ve just been doing a lot of, uh, thinking. There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to look at me when I do.”

Y/n sighed and put her now closed book on her lap. She turned her body and looked at Draco who had a serious, yet slightly nervous expression on his face.

“Go ahead.” She said and meant it to come out harsh, but her words were soft and comforting.

“So, um…” He rubbed his neck. “Merlin, this is hard. So I’ve been thinking-”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“No, you don’t talk until I say you can. I need to get this out, no interruptions.”

Y/n smiled slightly and pretended to zip her lips, lock them and throw the key. Draco’s posture softened.

“Okay. I feel something that I’m not so sure I’ve ever really felt. And it’s been really confusing and I don’t know what to do about it. I talked to Blaise and Matteo about it and they said- well they said-” He hesitated and Y/n urged him on with my hand. “They said I’m probably in love with you.” Her eyes widened slightly. “And I’ve been thinking about it a lot, that’s why I haven’t been paying much attention to you. But I’ve come to a conclusion. Y/n, there’s no probably. I am in love with you, and it scares me and I am so so sorry I’ve been ignoring you.”

Y.n stayed silent with a smile.

“Are you going to say anything?” Draco asked and she brought her hand to the invisible zipper and tried to unzip it but couldn’t due to the lock. Draco shook his head with a laugh and pulled something invisible out of his pocket. He pointed the invisible thing to her mouth. “Alohomora.”

Y/n smiled and unzipped her lips. Instead of talking though, she grabbed Draco by the face and pulled him to her, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. She pulled away after a few moments with a smile.

“I love you too, Draco.”

Matteo Riddle

Y/n sat at the Three Broomsticks, laughing with her girl friends. Her laughter halted as her eyes landed on Matteo Riddle who had just walked in. Her friends noticed and their laughter subsided as well.

Hermione grabbed Y/n’s hand from over the table, “Y/n, are you alright?”

“Matteo wasn’t as busy as he said.” She said, motioning in his direction with her head. Hermione and Pansy (who was sitting right next to her), turned their heads, whereas b/f/n just looked over, as she was already facing him.

“Ugh, that dick.” Pansy scoffed as she turned back around. “He’s such an ass.”

“While I do not appreciate the language, I agree with Pansy.” Hermione agreed.

“I can’t believe he said he was too busy to hang out then he comes here with his dimwitted friends.” B/f/n said while shaking her head. “It’s so messed up.”

Y/n shrugged, pushing down the hurt and mustering up the best smile she could. “It’s alright. Shall we go?” She asked and her friends nodded, placing some coins on the table for the butterbeer. Y/n grabbed her jacket and threw it on quickly before wrapping her Slytherin scarf around her neck.

B/f/n grabbed Y/n’s hand as they began making it to the door. Y/n spared one look up and met the eyes of Matteo, who looked at her in guilt. The cold air nipped at the girl's nose as she exited the warm pub, snowflakes immediately littering her hair and shoulders.

The group made it a few feet before the door burst open from behind them. The girls turned their heads to see a disheveled Matteo without a coat on. Y/n’s hurt quickly turned into anger as she scoffed and turned around, her friends following after her.

“No, Y/n wait!” Matteo called after them, grabbing onto her free hand. His hand was cold -colder than usual due to the freezing weather- but soft.

“No, Matteo. I’m busy.” Y/n said spitefully.

“Please.” He begged, moving in front of the girl. She hesitated, looking into his eyes before sighing. She motioned her friends to continue without her, but they stayed put.

“Guys it’s okay, I’ll meet you back at Hogwarts.” Y/n assured them and they hesitated before walking off.

Matteo grabbed onto Y/n’s other hand and walked her to the sidewalk so they weren’t standing in the middle of the road. She shook off Matteo's hands and crossed her arms.

“What do you want, Matteo?” She spat angrily and Matteo took a deep breath, trying not to freak out at her anger, which proved to be very difficult considering how he had grown up.

“Well, you don’t need to be all snappy.” Matteo mentally slapped himself, there he goes again.

“Oh, really? You’re the one who’s been blowing me off all week!” Y/n said loudly.

“Well, it doesn’t give you the right to be such an ass!” Matteo said, raising his voice slightly.

Y/n laughed exasperatedly, “Me? I’m the ass now?” She yelled. “You’re the ass here! You’ve been ignoring me and lying to me! I don’t get it, Matteo. What did I do to you!?”

“I love you, okay? I fucking- I fucking love you, and I hate that I love you.” He said, his voice getting quieter as the sentence went on. “Because you’re my best friend, and you don’t love me back. And I am so fucking sorry for making you feel like shit and lying to you, I just didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so sor-”

Y/n cut him off with a kiss as she threaded her fingers through his hair. After a moment Matteo kissed back, his left hand falling into the dip of her waist. She closed the distance between their bodies, pushing herself against him until she no longer could. He pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes opened and he smiled at her. Little snowflakes littered her eyelashes and her eyes remained close, savoring the moment.

Matteo gently rubbed Y/n’s cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

“I’m cold.” He whispered and Y/n laughed gently.

“Because you didn’t put your jacket on, idiot.” She whispered back.

“Y’know what will make me warm?”

“Your jacket?”

“Another kiss.”

She closed her eyes again and brushed her lips over his, “Your wish is my command.”

#draco malfoy #draco #draco malfoy x reader #matteo riddle x reader #matteo riddle #harry potter #romance #aanoia

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perfctvelvet · 3 months ago

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hi!! saw ur post abt ur request being dry so im chiming in..

ok so, how abt one with kendall jenner which on a very boring day in, she asks her girlfriend to take pics of her bc she needs to update her feed on ig. after many pics taken kendall asks her girlfriend to now start filming and when she does she starts undressing for the camera.

this is just a base ideia you can definitely work your way around it and have fun with it!!

Taking Pictures of You; Kendall/Reader

Content: 2nd POV. Established relationship, recording/sex tape, oral sex, fingering.

The floor of your bedroom was littered with boxes. PR boxes from luxury companies, and some you never even heard of, were everywhere. Usually Kendall's team was responsible for getting her her packages (in a more neat manner too), but it was a Saturday afternoon with just the two of you in the house.

"I told you not to wait until the last minute to do this," you poke at her.

You were in the living room, minding your business with a book you'd given up on resting on your chest while you searched for something for something to watch. Kendall came into the living room and she had that look on her face. She looked stressed to the point she seemed pained. You knew something was wrong, but you thought something was really wrong until she uttered the words, "I'm behind on posting."

Sometimes you found everything about her life a little ridiculous. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh before composing yourself. This has happened time and time before in relationship. She has an obligation, but because it isn't one a large contractual obligation, she puts it off until the last minute. At this point you considered yourself a pro at helping her figure out these situations. So instead of watching something on Netflix, you were in your bedroom trying to help her out.

"Okay, I've separated everything into two piles; instagram posts and instagram stories."

"You know you didn't have to unbox everything at once right?"

"Well, I wanted to see what was sent!"

She was like a kid on Christmas with all of her presents. You rummaged through the 'instagram stories' pile and it was just a hodgepodge of things. She was sent things from brand collaborations of celebrities she hasn't even said more than three words to. Some of the brands were familiar and from friends, but everything else seemed so random.

"Don't worry about that stuff babe. I wanna try this on."

You turn around to see her holding up a sheer Alaia dress. Kendall looks at it with pure adoration in her eyes, and you yourself were no longer interested in the other stuff that was sent to her. You needed to see her in that.

"Should I try it on first?"

"Yes," you say a little too quickly. She laughs at how eager and interested you are now, but she knows that you like to see her all dressed up.

The loungewear comes off, and soon her body is adorned in body-hugging, black viscose. Underneath is just a lacy thong. She took her hair out of the ponytail, let it come down over her shoulders. She looks too good for just an instagram post.

"Make up or no make up?"

"I think you look perfect, honey."

"Well, I should at least do blush."

She finishes making herself more "presentable" to be posted, but you love the juxtaposition of her in something so gorgeous with a bare face. She promises not to over do it, only dusting her cheeks with a light pink blush. Moments later and she's ready for you to resume your role as her unofficial photographer.

Kendall poses right in front of the big window in your bedroom; the light coming in and hitting her in the best way possible. The sun was still high in the sky and you could feel its rays warming your skin as you stand in front of her. Your appearance on her instagram page was always subtle, but you couldn't help the fact that your shadow was in the photos.

"Lets come by the window," she directed you. She knew what she was doing, but over the years you've gotten accustomed to what angles she liked the best.

You viewed her through the LED screen of your phone but glanced up a few times at her to see just how beautiful she is. You're sure some of your photos are duds because you're distracted by her instead of focusing on taking the pictures. Your camera roll is probably filled with nearly 50 photos of her before she asks you to start film.

"I want a close up of the dress. Let everyone see the details." The camera picks up on those little details she wants everyone to see. It captures the quality of the material and her skin underneath. "Okay, now back up a little."

Kendall turns around when you frame her just right. She knows what she's doing directing you behind the camera and herself in front. She unattached the clasp at the top of the neck and begins to peel the fabric off of her body to reveal her bare back and a peak of the thong sitting on her hips. You're in awe, but not shocked seeing as Kendall is no stranger in taking advantage of your "personal photographer" role as her girlfriend. She peaks over her shoulder and cups her breast before turning around to face the camera. You step back and you record her standing there in nothing but a lacy thong and the dress near her feet.

"This one going on instagram too?" You ask coyly behind the camera.

“Yeah right,” she jokes before stepping closer to you. Her whole account would be taken down if she were to post what you two were going to do.

The camera keeps recording while she kisses you. Your fingers ghost against her bare skin and she sighs into the kiss. You wanted to break the kiss, just to be able to set the camera down, but she couldn’t pull away from you. The phone nearly fell out of your hands as the kiss grew intensely. It wasn’t until you forced yourself away from her soft lips to put the camera down on the table where both of your bodies were in perfect view.

“I could kiss you forever,” you give a soft kiss to her cheek. “But, I really want to taste you,” you confess.

She smiles at you in excitement and the ache between her legs grow. Your confession gets her to crawl onto the bed and spread her legs for you. That little thong barely contains her pussy. You can see the beads of her arousal on her skin and seeping through the white material. She looked good enough to eat and you were determined to get a taste.

You crawl onto the bed and in between her legs. Kendall keeps them wide open for you while your finger tips graze against her inner thighs. Each time you drag them down her thighs, you move up and inch closer to her sex. She inhales deeply and holds her breath as she anticipates you giving her what she wants. She knows you like to tease her before your fully giving in and lapping at her pussy, and today is no different.

Kendall hooks her finger around her thong and pulls them to the side to expose herself to you. It was her way of saying c’mon baby, stop teasing already. You thought you were stronger to give into that, but seeing her bare and spread out for you had you seeing stars. You can’t help but rip the dainty thong off her of her just to have her fully naked for you. You grab her thighs and spread her wide open, her lips moving in the process and hole spreading. Hours and hours could be spent between these divine legs and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You tease Kendall’s opening, a single finger only pushing into almost two inches before you pull out. You look up at her and can see how annoyed she looks. You tilt your head at the phone recording everything to remind her of it’s presence.

“You don’t want everyone to see you being a brat, or do you?”

Usually the videos you film are on a more secure device so no one would be able to see. But, Kendall’s pussy clenches around your finger after warning her. She would never, ever want your private moments to be exposed, when she thinks about it in a fantasy world it makes her wet.

Her silence gives you the green light to keep teasing her. She’s soaking now having gotten herself all worked up trying on clothes for you. Her attempt to tease you ended up turning herself on.

“Should I have a little taste?”

“Yes, baby, please!” Kendall begs. She thinks about your tongue sliding against her clit and she shivers. Unfortunately for her you weren’t so willing to give it to her so easily. You felt like teasing her some more.

“Hmm. I don’t know if I’m ready yet. Maybe we should change positions?”

Kendall stops herself from complaining. Patiences it’s going to get her what she wants (and she knows you won’t be able to resist her for too long). You ask her to get on all fours and she listens. She’s facing the camera, staring into the lens as you bend over behind her and kiss her cheek. “Make sure you don’t hide your pretty face,” you warn. You don’t want to rewatch the video later and see her burying her face into the bed sheets no matter how good it feels. She nods affirmatively and you reward her with another kiss, this time on her back. Your kisses move lower and lower until you reach her ass. You palm the soft flesh before spreading them apart. This time you couldn’t resist how good her sweet pussy looked and you gave into the desire to taste her. Kendall almost shuts her eyes as she moans, but she reminds herself at the last second to keep them open.

Her clit is pulsing against your tongue and you can’t help but suck on it give it some relief. Poor Kendall must’ve been horny all day and only bothered you as a way to get you to play with her. You were more than happy to give her want she wants, sucking harder on her clit. Your mouth makes the nastiest, lewdest noises against her twat. Her arousal flows out of her and covers your tongue. She was so wet that it was easy to slide your thumb in her aching pussy while you sucked her clit. How she was able to keep herself up on all four was nothing short of a miracle. But, if you keep this up she’s going to collapse against the bed soon.

She’s very obedient, keeping her eyes locked with the camera as you eat her needy cunt.

“Fuck baby! Your mouth feels so good,” she whines loudly just for the camera. The mix of pussy eating and moans is so beautiful to you. Your body feels like it’s on fire from so much want. However you’re able to find relief as you hump the pillow while you eat her out.

It’s not long before your pretty girl is shaking and cumming against your mouth. You make sure to lick up each drop of arousal that seeps out of her. You hum against her pussy one last time before her legs start to give away. She grips the bedsheets, but never once does she dip her head down and hide away.

#kendall jenner smut #kendall jenner/reader #f/f #f/f smut #f/f fanfic #smut #blurb #lesbian fanfic #lesbian smut #celeb smut

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dellalyra · 1 year ago

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Hello! Goodmorning/afternoon/evening! This is my first time sending a request to someone here in this app and i hope i'm doing it right:')) AGHGHH I'M NERVOUSS. But, i've always loved your family formations au and i always anticipate new chapters of it^^

For the past few hours i've been having brainrots of Itafushi and i miss them so much:'))

I'd like to see Megumi's reaction at Ozawa's confession abt Yuji in that restaurant. Would he be jealous or akward? Like, imagine him getting a bit shy to tell her Yuji and him are dating😖

You could write this when you're in the mood to write ff again^_^

I just love you and your stories so much^^

𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗮 𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗸𝗶’𝘀 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 - ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ʙᴏɴᴜꜱ

pixie says: this was just what i needed - some fluff and sweetness and itafushi in family formations goodness, ily nonnie <3

Megumi couldn’t help but scowl at a smirking Nobara.

She was seated beside him - both across from the tall, pretty brunette smiling sheepishly at them both.

“So, Fushiguro, you’re closest with Itadori. Does he have a girlfriend?” She said, arched eyebrow raised.

Little shit-stirrer.

He should have known it would be something like this when Ijichi turned the car around at her behest - she lived for the drama. Nobara’s logic probably went something along the lines of: oh, why tell this girl my best friend has a boyfriend when I could get his boyfriend here instead?

“I think you’d know best - considering how close you guys are, and how much time you spend together - does he have any photos of a girlfriend in his room? You seem to spend a lot of time in there.” Her pale pink nails drum on the table.

He tries to come up with a sharp retort - but flusters at Kugisaki’s insinuation.

He’s not quite sure how to respond.

He’s not exactly the type to say “Oh, Itadori? The boy I’ve been in love with for months? The boy who had his arm wrapped around my waist when I woke up this morning? Sorry, BITCH, he’s taken.”

Plus - the B-word (boyfriend, not bitch) had never come up. The revelation of mutual romantic interest was only several weeks old - Megumi hadn’t though of a label until now, it hadn’t seemed necessary.

So - what he settled on had Kugisaki snorting.

“No. Itadori doesn’t have a girlfriend.” H

He sure as shit wasn’t going to give this nightmare classmate beside him the satisfaction of seeing what she wants to see.

Jealousy.

Ozawa was pretty, very pretty in fact. Dainty features with a fantastic physique - pretty much exactly Itadori’s type in a person. Sure, he was tall too - and a lean physique came with the job as a sorcerer. He had delicate features too. Itadori said he loved his eyes - so that’s a point in his corner. He’s not sure if he has the big butt Itadori said he likes, but it’s gotta at least be toned from all the running he does with the dogs.

Ozawa however, she was soft. Smoother around the edges. No sullen nature or manical frenzies, no shadows (Ten or otherwise). Maybe, Yuuji would prefer…

No. Fushiguro Megumi was absolutely not going to allow that train of thought. He puts a pin in it by imagining what his mom and dad would say.

“Megumi! You are the son of the world’s strongest sorcerer, and underneath layers of sullen ‘oh I’m a grumpy teenager and I like weezer’ is a very sweet baby boy!” Says imaginary Gojo. Annoying even in fiction.

“You stop that right now young man! Do we need to do our morning affirmations? ‘Toru! Get me the mirror!” Imaginary Y/N announces.

During the time he zoned out - he hadn’t noticed Nobara making a phone call.

That was, until a large figure stood at the table.

“Kugisaki? What do you want?” His head snaps up - when the hell did Yuuji get here?

Ozawa was staring up at him with stars in her eyes.

Truth was, he couldn’t blame her. When Yuuji walked into the room - it always felt like the sun had come out on a rainy day, banishing all the cold and damp. The eternal warmth of his presence permeated through to even the most frigid parts of a persons soul until they could no longer imagine a world without Itadori. His smile was wide as he greeted Kugisaki, and his honey brown eyes looked like home.

Plus - Yuuji had always been toned - since he first saw him on the athletics field of his school he could easily see that, but the past (almost) year of sorcery training had filled him out even further. Biceps straining against the seams of his uniform - holding on for dear life (Yuuji refused to get a new uniform, he said the fact that Gojo-sensei designed it for him made him happy), plus - he’d grown too. Now standing at only an inch or two smaller than Megumi. Nobara had dragged him to her hairdresser too, insisting on a proper haircut because in her words ‘you might not look as bad if you don’t cut your hair with a kitchen scissors.” Megumi knew she just liked spending time with him, but he’d let her pretend.

Fuck, he loved that boy.

Silly, selfless, beautiful and brave boy.

Yuuji’s head turned to the other side of the table, eyes looking straight at Ozawa. Even Megumi - in all his possessiveness - hoped he’d recognise the girl.

“Oh, hey Ozawa!”

Thank every potential god.

“Hello, Itadori-kun.”

“It’s so good to see you! How have you been? Why are you in Tokyo? I see you’ve met my boyfriend, Megumi!” He rattles off as he squishes in beside Megumi, slipping an arm around his waist and ignoring a protesting Nobara.

Wait -

Boyfriend?

He introduced him as his boyfriend.

He smiled to himself. How very Yuuji - he didn’t even ask, didn’t need to. He was his, completely.

Who needs jealousy when you’ve got a boy like this?

“O-oh, boyfriend? Oh no - I’m very sorry, Fushiguro. I meant no offence.” Ozawa floundered.

Yuuji looked very confused.

Megumi just shrugged and nodded at the girl, muttering that it’s fine and she didn’t know - adding in the Kugisaki was a shit-stirrer.

Yuuji still looked confused. Megumi squeezed his hand under the table three times, a signal he’d copied from Y/N and Gojo. 3 squeezes means I love you, 4 means I love you too. He smiled at the table when he got 4 squeezes back.

Ozawa and Itadori caught up for a while, reminiscing about old times until eventually it was time to go, signalled by Yuuji forgetting his own strength and pulling Megumi by the hand out of the booth and rambling about Popcorn and Human Earthworms.

Megumi nodded, agreeing to go.

The things he did for this boy.

“You coming, Kugisaki?” Yuuji asks as they stand from the table.

“I’ll catch up with you guys.” She says, shooing them away.

“Okay! Bye Ozawa! It was really nice to see you!” Yuuji says, waving as he walked away.

Once they were sat in the movie theatre, Megumi looked at Yuuji.

He felt really grateful.

So, his long fingers found purchase on his boyfriends chin, turning his face toward him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Eh? What was that for?” Yuuji says, smiling and holding the hand.

“Can’t I kiss my boyfriend without the third degree?” Megumi smirked, and rejoiced in the flustered Yuuji.

“Of course you can! Here, do it again! So I can show you how okay it is!” Yuuji said, hair threading in Megumi’s thick black locks, and kissing him deeper.

They remained that way, soft kisses passing back and forth whilst the trailers played until a gagging sound came from beside them.

“Get a room, fucking hell. I’d expected more of you, Fushiguro.” Groaned the freshly arrived Kugisaki.

“Go to hell.”

“Shut up, ‘Bara!” Yuuji retorted.

“Where were you, anyway? Movies about to start.” Megumi asks, settling in with Yuuji’s arm around his shoulder.

“Exercising the power of my unending rizz. Wasn’t letting Ozawa leave the diner without a date for next weekend now, was I?” She smirked, wiggling her phone displaying the other girls Instagram.

“What about Zen’in? Are you suddenly not crazy about her?” Fushiguro questions.

“Well - a little jealousy never hurt anyone did it? Plus, Ozawa knows it’s for the pursuit of a certain girlboss martial artist - I reintroduce her to Yuuji, she helps me get Maki.” She shrugs, stealing a handful of popcorn.

“Why are you the way that you are?” Was all the two boys had to say in response to their cackling best friend.

Megumi had never been more glad that the King of Curses was the only complication in his relationship.

#family formations extras #jjk #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #dad!gojo #jujutsu kaisen megumi #itafushi #itadori x fushiguro #megumi fushiguro #megumi x yuuji #itafushi fluff

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tacoma-narrows · 2 months ago

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Twenty (Three!) Years of Humanistic!

Abandoned Pools' first album, Humanistic was released 23 years ago today, on September 25th, 2001! For anyone who doesn't know, Abandoned Pools is my all time favorite band! I found them through Clone High in September of 2020 and immediately connected with a LOT of their songs, and in that time, Humanistic became my all time favorite album! A spot that it still retains to this day hehe.

So when I found out that the following year, almost a year to the day from when I started listening to Abandoned Pools, was Humanistic's 20th anniversary, I knew I wanted to make something big for that occasion! I ended up making a drawing based on each song in the album! This is similar to what I did for Owl City's album Cinematic later on, which I posted last year.

This is also sort of a look at proto Let's Get Back! in a way! I made this when LGB! was still just a duo act with PB and Shep, since Rye and Pumpernickel didn't join the lineup until I was about halfway through the project, and the band wasn't officially named Let's Get Back! until February of 2022 lol. The cover image here is based on the actual album cover for Humanistic, and I edited later to say "Covers by Let's Get Back!" to make it consistent with the rest of my LGB! art :3

Each piece in the series is below the cut along with the song they're connected to and some explanation about each one. Again, these pieces are three years old at this point, so some of the art is a bit wonky looking and some of these piece I'd do differently if I were to do them today, but most of them still hold up pretty well I think! :D

1: The Remedy

I based this one on the line “save your breath, your soul is hollow” and wanted to do something simplistic but still interesting! According to my friend who also likes the song, this is “exactly how that song feels” lol. It was fun working with silhouettes here, which is something I've done here and there in the time since.

2: Mercy Kiss

I decided to not actually draw them kissing bc the song says “I don’t need your mercy kiss” haha. Wanted to capture sort of a defiant attitude for this one. Posing is a little off here, and I've tweaked some minor things abt their design but overall one that I'm still pretty happy with :]

3: Start Over

I was SUPER happy with the posing on this one, I love the sense of motion it has. Basically, I wanted to express being stuck in a cycle and just wanting to go back to the way things were, which was something I was REALLY feeling at the time, but is still sort of applicable today.

4: Monster

Another one I REALLY like, with this one, I wanted to show that I can be a force to be reckoned with when standing up for myself. Or at least that’s how the song makes me feel. It’s a good rampage song too. This is another case where I really like how the pose came out. As you can also see, this is the only piece without PB since I wasn't sure how to incorporate him into this idea, but I’m sure he’s still involved somehow lol. Also this is the best song called Monster, I do not take criticism at this time.

5: Blood

Blood always feels like a sort of gloomy, spiral-y type song, so that’s what I went for. The line “we watch it burn, and we never learn, this can’t be what you’re waiting for” was really the focus for this one. A neat vibe with this one overall I think that I'm pretty happy with.

6: Suburban Muse

Suburban Muse makes me think of like, a fake sitcom town where things look normal, but things aren’t as great as they seem if you look a little closer. It even says “cue the canned applause” at one point. Also, those sort of, weird reality dreamscape neighborhood liminal space images like this where you can see where it's coming from but they just feel, off y'know

7: Sunny Day

This one is kinda weird because Sunny Day is kinda weird (though in like the best possible way, I love it). I couldn’t quite come up with a solid idea for both my OCs here, so I based them on two separate lines: “my head is inside a cloud” for PB, and “get off the bathroom floor” for Shep. In hindsight, I don't think the two separate lines approach really worked here since it feels more disjointed and not really representative of the full song, but I still like it well enough.

8: L.V.B.D.

This one was hard to come up with something for. I’ve never been super crazy abt L.V.B.D. since it feels, Very Hetero™ and I’m not about that. But it’s still sounds great and I’m definitely super glad it’s part of the album. Went for drawing Shep and PB here as little stuffed dolls, which is related to the acronym in the song’s title (which stands for Little Virgin Baby Doll) and I couldn’t think of anything better aha. I should draw plushies more often though

9: Ruin Your Life

Important: Shep and PB are only upset with upset with each other for the sake of this drawing, as I refuse to let anything bad happen between them for real. Anyways, the expressions were really fun in this one, and oh boy does this song feel very relatable over the last year or so.

10: Never

This one is very similar to Ruin Your Life for me, where it’s a sort of comforting during a dark time kind of way. Just crossing the days off hoping that things will get better soon, that’s what I went for here. The calendar is listed as 10/12 since this is the 10th song out of the 12 on the album, and the image is a reference to a previous drawing I had done of PB and Shep together :3

11: Seed

Personally, Seed is my least favorite song from the album as a whole, for similar reasons to L.V.B.D. but in a, more gross kinda way that conflicts with my ace side. The song still sounds great musically for sure. Even tho I’m not super crazy abt the song, I actually really like how this drawing came out, in fact it might be my favorite out of the whole batch, ironically enough lol. The boys are looking down into a hole from the line “there’s no more grace to fall from, there’s nowhere left to go but down” and I'm really happy with how the perspective turned out!

12: Fluorescein

Finally, Fluorescein is my favorite song of the entire album, and my favorite song in general! It’s so aggressive and loud, I love it. I decided to draw PB confronting a giant Shep bc the song makes me feel like I can take on a huge adversary and win >:] Although I do like what I chose to do here, I kinda wish I had come up with something better to represent my all time favorite song lol

So in conclusion, like I said, Humanistic is my all time favorite album and it means so much to me. Really all of AP’s work really means a lot to me, but Humanistic in particular. I found the band through watching Clone High and I am all the better for it. So thank you to Abandoned Pools for making something that I’ve gotten so much out of and I absolutely cannot wait for the sixth album coming at the end of next year!! :D

So I hope you guys liked this little trip down memory lane with me, and if you're also an enjoyer of Abandoned Pools, please let me know what you think of these and what your favorite AP songs are! I'd love to know! And if you don't listen to Abandoned Pools, I highly recommend their music if you can't tell lol. If you enjoy early 2000s alt rock sort of stuff, there's a solid chance you'll enjoy Abandoned Pools :3

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mangosaurus · 5 months ago

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Hi! Love your jwcc fanarts! (Hope u don't think my question is to annoying lmao 😭❤️)

I wanna ask u what do u think about that theory abt Ben gf being a catfish? Maybe one of that people that have been hunting them idk. Some posts claim it's actually Brooklyn trying to keep herself updated about the whole situation?? TO MUCH THEORIES

Also if the gf is actually real I'm curious about your opinion. Like I saw a post saying that Ben could be Bi, Pan, etc, but really, I am bisexual myself and there is no bi subtext on that boy... and it's not like they suddenly are gonna officialize he is bi/pan, or give him this type of subtext at this point of the franchise. Is not cool when people call "bi/pan" a media trying to avoid dealing with a character queerness. It's just painful that people think this is a real way of portrait of a bi/pan experience. It's not!!

AW thank you so much! i know i haven't posted much art lately but it still makes me really happy to hear that people enjoy it. and your question isn't annoying at all, don't worry about it :) i love receiving and answering asks, it doesn't matter what they're about

the more time that passes the more plausible the catfish GF theory sounds to me. if i had to guess, ben probably met his girlfriend online, possibly through dark jurassic (which a lot of the fandom seems to be in consensus about). as for it being brooklynn ... not too sure about that one! i've mostly treated it as a crack theory up until now, if just because of how absurd it sounds on paper, but i wouldn't put it past brooklynn to pull something like that. keeping in touch with ben is probably one of her only links back to her friends, besides her contact with ronnie (who is only partially connected to darius at this point, since he quit the DPW). i'd recommend giving these two posts by kitabearuwu a read if you're interested in exploring that theory further.

now if the girlfriend is real: i obviously can't speak for you or other bi/pan/otherwise mspec people, but i've come to not care all that much, if i'm being honest. it was definitely a shock to hear, as was the intended effect, since darius, sammy, and yasmina all initially reacted with surprise. but my question is what harm does ben having a girlfriend in chaos theory pose? like, does it play into any negative stereotypes? does it communicate a dangerous message about queer people? i've seen some people argue that it perpetuates the notion that mlm relationships are "icky" and shouldn't be portrayed in media, but i have to disagree, respectfully.

i think it's also really important to remember that subtext is ... ultimately kind of subjective, and is totally independent of the creator's intentions. that's the whole point of subtext—it exists below (hence the prefix sub-) the underbelly of the text. you have to be looking for it to see it, basically. and for a long time, the fandom (or at least the queer part of the fandom) subtextually read ben as gay! a lot of that had to do with his rather intimate interactions with the other boys, juxtaposed against the way he rejected yasmina when he thought she had a crush on him ("i like you, but i don't like like you ... i'm just now starting to find myself"). but ... i don't know, if we want to start citing text, you could also argue that ben's whole thing about not putting him in a box circa jwcc s5 could be a point towards him being generally unlabeled, which leaves room for him being mspec.

if i had to make some definitive statement on the matter, i guess it'd be that this fandom gets really bogged down by the specific labels of these characters, when it's really not all that necessary. this is still a gay show made by gay people featuring unapologetically gay characters in explicitly gay relationships, of which has been some of the best gay rep i've ever seen in media. and having that kind of representation on TV matters more to me than knowing what ben specifically identifies as, even if it doesn't align with my headcanon. it doesn't have to! but i also don't know for sure if it doesn't align with my headcanon, because we haven't gotten the full story yet. ben's girlfriend is most likely gonna be of some importance, given that he mentioned her twice without going into much detail about her. that leaves a lot of room in future seasons to expand upon who she is and her role in both the greater narrative and ben's life specifically, including his identity. i just think it's best we reserve judgement at this point, basically

#andddd i hope that all makes sense!!#anon #answered #jwct

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fainthedcherry · 7 months ago

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When I was a child in 2013, visiting Nickelodeon's site and finding a treasure-trove of Spongebob, Winx and TMNT flash games was like magic to me. BUT MAN. The TMNT flash games are one of the best ever to me I've played in my life. (on an aesthetic stand-point! Turtle Tactics and Dark Horizons are so awesome man, legendary flash games to me.)

Since I am utterly autistic about 4 green alien turtles and their rat dad...Here we are again. With me posting OC cringe 2016 me would've killed myself over :V (cry about it 11 yo/ me, afraid of cringe culture back then, it's DEAD NOW)

Gonna sneak-post my redo of that ancient drawing I did of Alex 2 years ago, for the base-post : D

2 years ago, I used flashpoint to replay it for the first time in years and I remember crying of glee LOL (I still play Dark Horizons and turtle tactis to this day btw). I played Dark Horizons and Turtle Tactics and also TMNT: Throw Back (NO I DID NOT NAME THIS LIKE A MEME THIS IS ITS NAME. I STILL BURST INTO LAUGHTER LIKE A CHILD OVER THE NAME AGING POORLY DUE TO INTERNET LINGO)

Those 2 flash games are just so...Technically advanced?? For its time?? LIKE A FULLY FLEDGED 3D FLASH GAME WITH UNITY ENGINE BASIS? DAMN. And then Dark Horizons? CHEF'S KISS I LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH. AESTHETICALLY AND THE COMBAT FEELS RLLY NICE TO ME IMO, AND JUST...Everything about THAT flash game, god TIMELESS CLASSIC I COULD YAP ON FOR HOURS ABOUT THIS NO JOKE.

I am enthralled by the designs and art of Dark Horizons, it's why I made this drawing. The game just..Speaks to me on so many levels. IT'S JUST SO PLEASING TO SEE ALL THE ARTWORK I EXTRACTED. As far to my knowledge- it never got released, so I might make a post of just a few favourites I liked from the game. :D

I just wonder if I can post those in the first place, it's after all, not my artwork, from a flash game, and TMNT, so yeah, legal IP and stuff. I unfortunately don't know who the artist if of the flash games, but if I can find that out via googling or digging for credits in the game or the files, I'll see if I can credit them, so that posting will be fairly accredited!!

OH YEAH RIGHT ALSO QUICK BANTER ABT ART SORRY I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THOSE FLASH GAMES AS YOU CAN TELL,,,

I studied the in-game sprites for a good few hours back then, and did my best to replicate it to the best of my abilities!! I think Mushu maybe could've been done better looking back at it, but I think it was the best that I could do back then. :D Plus, I remember being really happy, excited and proud of this piece, as it reflected something, my childhood self always wanted: For Alex to like.."fake" being an official character LOL. I had sooo many dreams where Alex was hanging out with the turtles and Ninjago and throwing in Power Rangers for good measure, just...Everything I liked as a child, I somehow connected in my dreams via either "OH YEAH THE RAINBOW FAIRY!" or "OH YEAH SUDDENLY PORTAL AND MY MARY-SUES JUST BRAVE IT WHILST THE OFFICIAL CHARACTERS DRAMATICALLY TELL THEM NOT TO GO"

^I had vivid and....Creative dreams as a child to say the least, sometimes even Darth Vader and Eggman appeared as the bad guys, despite TMNT and Power Rangers and Ninjago w/ the snakes and lord Garmadon or however you spell him (I never checked + I'm German so ofc his name might be different in english)- I- do I have to go on about the dreams I FULLY remember I had, as a 6-9 yo/, until I told myself at 10 how embarassing my dreams are and stopped doing so? I DIGRESS. I..Need to be more professional in these, instead of such pure fandom trash oml, I feel bad for whoever actually has to read through my blatant autistic interests as a child and thinking "wtf is he on about" dfgklfdg

ANYWAY NEKST POST IS THE BASE. I SWEAR. SORRY I LOVE RAMBLING

#digital art #artwork #art #artists on tumblr #character art #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt #tmnt oc #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt dark horizons #flash games #fainthed #fainthed cherry #o0CherryPie0o #Fainthed-Cherry #o0fainthedcherry0o

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sparklingdemon · 4 days ago

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Hi, I'm coming here bc you've been talking to starry ^^' n theyve been chatting with me here and there abt it, and it made me think of some things i wanted to ask actually. Less ask more give you the option to talk about more: Please tell me more about monochrome blue to me he's a very interesting character, along with honestly a lot of the other characters that haunt the narrative of monochrome, id love to hear about them all (I'm mostly referring to blue, oak, the main two NPCS, but I would love to hear about red and leaf but i figure that can go into a spoilery territory) and your thoughts on them, or well, at least what you can give without spoilers.

OH BOY I WOULD LOVE TO RAMBLE ABOUT THIS. i hope you don't mind that my musings will be mostly meta bc i think i've talked a lot about blue as a character already but we'll see how carried away i get, haha!!

putting this under a cut because it might turn out pretty long........

FIRST of all i wanna expand upon what i said earlier about how monochrome!blue was meant for a "scrapped project." i was initially going to learn how to rom hack for the first time and make what was ESSENTIALLY pokemon monochrome as hacker cody had intended it (though without the gen 1-3 swapping because that's just Not Fucking Possible In Real Life.) i saw the idea in twitch plays pokemon's burning red playthrough but i don't think an actual downloadable rom exists out there so i couldn't build off of it if i wanted to. either way the project was way too ambitious for my smooth brain so i scrapped it. BUT there are a lot of leftovers from my time brainstorming for it that have all essentially become canon for monochrome!blue.

here's an old concept art from four years ago that focused on blue. the plot of the hack was always centered around blue and his grief over the fact that his best friend was Freaking Possessed and he wanted to save them from you.

in the rom hack, you would enter the name for the player, but blue would never refer to red/leaf by that name. he distinctly uses red/leaf's names for them, and the player's name for you. (other NPCs would avoid the use of you and red/leaf's names altogether, making it all the more potent when blue/oak use your/their names.) conversely, if you entered a name besides "BLUE" for him, other characters wouldn't acknowledge it. they'd still call him blue, the game's nametag would still call him blue when he spoke. BUT, when you battle him, it says "RIVAL [NAME]" like whatever you named him as. blue doesn't acknowledge it at first, but at some point in the late-game, he would call the player out for daring to think they have the right to name him, for daring to think they have the right to decide HIS identity.

at one point during my development of the hack, i brainstormed the idea that blue would eventually reject his OWN name, but i eventually scrapped this idea. instead, monochrome!blue starts off VERY confident of himself and his identity, only to come to the crushing realization that he never had any free will in his situation. the "best friend" he had been fighting so hard to save never even existed. red/leaf were the player all along, even during blue's "good" memories of them. and now that the player doesn't love the world of pokemon anymore, red/leaf don't love blue anymore either. all he is, and all he ever was, is an obstacle for the player to defeat. he never had any chance of winning because the game is centered around the player. his world is centered around the player. so he decided he didn't want to live in the player's world anymore.

anyways!!! i wanted to show off some scrapped dialogue bits from the hack, back when i was still working on it. these are dubiously canon to monochrome (meaning they're canon until i decide something contradicts it.) i'm gonna add some notes for context.

[PICKING A STARTER]

OAK: Here, [PLAYER]. There are three POKéMON here. Haha! The POKéMON are held inside these POKé BALLS. When I was young, I was a serious POKéMON TRAINER. But now, in my old age, I have only these three left. You can have one. Go on, choose!

BLUE: Hey! Gramps! Why not let me pick first, huh?

OAK: Be patient, Blue. You'll get your turn!

so for this bit it's a very subtle change but blue is kinda pressing oak to go off-script and let him pick the starter first this time. oak doesn't listen, trying to keep things on-script, not out of spite towards blue, but he's just trying to do his "job". oak thinks that his hands are tied when it comes to going against the player, that it's better to just give them what they want and hope they change.

[PRE-BATTLE BLUE DIALOGUE IN LAVENDER TOWN]

Oh! [...]You got here sooner than I thought you would. I came here to catch POKéMON, but honestly? I'm not in the mood anymore. What's the point trying to show off to you now? So, I'm just[...] taking a minute. What? No, I'm not here to grieve for a POKéMON. Nah. I'm grieving over someone else. Can you guess who it is?

this one was a subtle jab at the raticate theory. i wrote it specifically this way to confirm raticate theory wasn't a part of the hack's canon.

[DEFEAT DIALOGUE]

It's YOU, stupid!

[POST-BATTLE DIALOGUE]

What happened to you?! You used to put your heart into these battles! Now you're acting like it's just a chore for you! Does this mean anything to you? Tch[...] Whatever.

those are really the only two that i consider still part of monochrome canon - the rest of my notes are all outdated stuff from when i was still spitballing ideas for my old hack so it doesn't line up with the fleshed out ideas monochrome added to it.

now! time to talk about oak a little bit.

so oak's whole deal is that he knows something is wrong with the world now, but he's just choosing not to say much about it and just keep playing his intended role as best as he can. he's trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy, vainly hoping the player will find something to care about in the world of pokemon again.

he doesn't approve of the player's apathy, but he wants to give them the freedom to change on their own. he only finally speaks up once he realizes how badly the player's actions have hurt blue.

but unfortunately, oak's passive nature towards the player makes blue angry at him, and blue runs off, never to be seen again.

afterwards, oak actually was intended to appear in route 1, walking around near the tall grass looking for blue. if you were to talk to him, he would ask you if you would be willing to help oak bring blue back home. you can accept, and oak says he will be waiting for you, or you can refuse, and oak will be disappointed. either way, after the exchange, oak walks back to his lab. oak doesn't know exactly what happened to blue, but considering the boy released all his pokemon and ran off, it's easy to assume the worst. he is 99% certain blue isn't alive and wants the player to start a new game. (i never wrote the dialogue for this scene bc it's something monochrome's players will never get to see, but i want to note that oak's dialogue would have been written very carefully and vaguely. oak would never directly say the words "start a new game", simply stating that he will be there to help you bring blue back, should you choose to go back to the beginning.)

hacker cody skipped the oak dialogue, so oak is still waiting on route 1.

as for red and leaf. hmm. i don't know how much i can talk about those two... their presence within the story is very vague on purpose, and i feel like giving answers about their lore would ruin the mystery a bit.

i will say this though - i do think that they are equals. leaf isn't "more important" than red just because the glitch was caused by playing as her. it's not that leaf became sentient first and therefore red did as well. instead, i think they were just two hurting souls came together from two parallel timelines that hacker!cody had accidentally bled together. leaf and red made each other "whole". they each filled in gaps in the other's memories, giving them context that the other was lacking about all of the pain and hurt that cody put them both through. together, they are the amalgamation of all of cody's memories with the world of pokemon. hacker cody gave red/leaf sentience subconsciously, because despite characterizing red/leaf as empty vessels for the plot of their hack, their true feelings towards red/leaf were so strongly baked into the heart of cody's game that it couldn't be suppressed. cody wanted to kill red/leaf not because they "weren't real" to them anymore, but because they had become too real to them.

that's all i'll say on them though! i don't know how much of red/leaf we'll see get to in canon, because they are dead and meant to haunt the narrative, not be actual askable characters like cody/the three ghosts, but i'd love to explore those two in more depth in a noncanon setting in the distant future someday!

either way i think that's all the thoughts i have!! thank you for listening to me ramble <3

#ask #hells1nfern0

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