#so that means their doja cat number (rules into say so)

[flowerfieldz]

it's so funny when I'm experiencing the peak of a hyperfixation bc I'm really over here watching videos of drag queens performing the exact same 3 numbers over and over and I am giggling and rolling around and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl with a crush and I also have heart eyes

[yelenasdiary]

About Yelenasdiary

Some of you lovely peaches asked me to do a little about me introduction, so, here it is!! Please don't be afraid to ask any questions if you'd like to know more ☺️

Let's start off with the basics, shall we?

Name: Rachel, but you can call me Rach, nox and/or Rachel.

Age: 26.

Birthday: Somewhere in April, I'll let you work it out 🤭.

Pronouns: She/Her.

From: Australia 🇦🇺.

Sexuality: Bisexual. Although, I am far more attracted to women than I am men and I don't actually think I could sleep with a man.

Favourite Colour: Blue, it's a very certain shade of blue.

Socials: floziki on Instagram & TikTok & Yelenasdiary on Wattpad.

Who do I stan? Just to name a few...

Angelina Jolie, Florence Pugh, Elizabeth Olsen, Emily Deschanel, Paget Brewster, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Justin Bieber, Doja Cat, Ice Cube, Eminem, 50 Cent, Bones, Jaden Smith, XXXTENTION, PNB Rock, Baeza, Rachel Weizs, Michael Ealy, Michael B. Jordan, Hailee Steinfeld, Travis Scott, ABBA + more

My favourite Marvel characters;

Yelena, Wanda, Bucky, Nat, Kate, T'Challa, Tony, Killmonger, Falcon, Melina, Thena, Makkari & Groot!

My top 3 Marvel movies;

Age of Ultron, Black Widow, Winter Soldier!

Some facts...

I have 3 dogs & a cat. 2 dogs are mine, one is my mothers but we basically just share all the pets as they are family. Their names are; Duggie, Archie & Fat Tony. Our cat's name is Mazda, yes, after the car brand lmao!

I've met Toby Sebastian (Florence's brother) & TYGA.

I have a store on RedBubble where I sell designs on mostly my faves.

I rather TV Shows over Movies, my favourite show being Bones.

I studied Cert. 4 in Design to help enhance my skills within the digital design/art world.

My music taste is mostly Rap, Hip/hop, R&B, a little pop & plenty of 90s-2000s R&B and Hip/Hop.

I collect Funko Pops! Trading cards and comics. Mostly of my faves as I don't have enough room to collect everything lmao.

Apple over Android.

I have authentic autographs from; Elizabeth Olsen, Paget Brewster, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Weisz, Florence Pugh, David Harbour & Toby Sebastian.

I own props from the TV Show, Bones. I have Booth's tie, Brennan's gold bracelet & a business card from both Booth and Sweets!

I love Whales, especially orcas and begluas.

My number 1 destination to travel to is Rio de Janeiro.

I am dyslexic, unfortunately this was something I only found out a few years ago (my mother always knew, she just didn't want to tell me for self esteem reasons). It's hard to say if I have moderate or severe dyslexia. Moderate or severe dyslexia just means the level of severity of the difficulties you may have. There is no hard and set rules as to cut off points because there are different issues that need to be taken into consideration.

I love gold and rose gold over silver. Goes better with my skin lmao.

I'm more than happy to add to this etc, but I hope you enjoyed this little getting to know me 💖

[allducksloveloveloveme]

Soooo, I've been tagged by @fanfics-fix in the song/name challenge (I'm sorry if that is not the name :P)

Firstly, thankyou so much for tagging me, and secondly your music taste is impeccable :D

Rules: Spell out your url with Song Titles and then tag as many people as the number of letters in your url.

Without further ado:

A: Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit

L: Lookalike by Conan Gray

L: Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

D: deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo

U: Up Granville by Peach Pit

C: Chapstick by COIN

K: Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft. SZA

S: Speed Racer by Her's

L: Life Itself by Glass Animals

O: Oh No! by MARINA

V: Vele by Vishal-Shekhar

E: Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

L: Love Story (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

O: One (Blake's Got A New Face) by Vampire Weekend

V: Virtual Aerobics by Wallows

E: Electric Love by BØRNS

L: La Vie En Rose by Édith Piaf (cover by Daniela Andrade too!)

O: O Haseena Zulfonwale Jane Jahan by Asha Bhosle

V: Video Game by Sufjan Stevens

E: Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga by Kumar Sanu

M: MONEY by LISA

E: Ek Ladki Bheegi Bhaagi Si by Kishore Kumar

Okay this took a lot of time. I feel like:

A) @fanfics-fix did this on purpose, in which case, well played because im literally so exhausted rn due to scanning my music library like a maniac, and;

B) i should have a shorter url because, i mean, cmon this is a ridiculously long one. I think everyone would understand how much i love ducks without having to say 'love' thrice.

Also, holy shit, im going to be tagging 20 people, someone murder me.

Anyway, i will be tagging @miavivisol @dishwasher-world @patroclusdefencesquad @eusuntgratie @pray-for-sound @lynne-monstr @theallfandomgal @smolanimenerd @queertamil @la-muerta @sugarandspace @ilovealeclightwood @wisp-of-thought @unrestrainedlyexcessive @future-crab @arialerendeair @0hheytherebigbadwolf @foryouhoney @ilovepeachystuff @kindaresilient

Okay phew! Thanks for tagging me again :D

[kara-is-a-cutie]

rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d love to get to know better!

Tagged by: @glitterdevil (sorry it took me a while to get to it)

Name: Karolin, but I prefer going by Kara.

Pronouns: she/her please and thank you.

Zodiac: Gemini sun, Aquarius moon and Libra rising. I'm a triple air sign and idk if that's good or bad.

Height: 5'3

Time: 11:14, at school editing.

Nationality: 🇸🇪

Favourite band: probably Paramore, I still to this day love their music.

Favourite artist: BANKS, Halsey, SZA, Doja Cat, Ashnikko, Megan thee Stallion and Hozier.

When you created your blog: my original blog got nuked during fall of last year and that's when I made this one.

Last thing you googled: "hbo", was meaning to go to the website, but computer decided it was a google search instead.

Lucky number: 7 and 13 (yes 13 is lucky to me).

Other blogs: @kara-on-the-side is my horny blog, @kara-youngblood-reloaded is my backup blog and @karas-archive is where I put things I don't wanna lose like recipes and such.

Why I chose my URL: as I said I got nuked and so I couldn't use kara-youngblood anymore and so I fell back on my IG username that I picked cause all variations of Kara Youngblood (my name) was taken.

How many people you're following: 316

How many followers: 4k, slowly making my way back to the 32k I have before I got nuked. Although tbh I mainly miss getting a lot of asks.

Average hours of sleep: I got phases where I sleep less than 4 hours a night and phases where I sleep at least 10. Routine? I don't know her.

Instruments: took violin lessons for 2 years and guitar for another 2 and still I can't play either.

Currently wearing: camo pants, army green tank, sneakers, black belt and sword necklace.

Dream trip: probably Hawaii or Italy.

Fav food: Mac n cheese with chicken meatballs.

Fav song: currently it's probably confidence by Oscar Scheller and Asnikko

Three fictional universes I wanna live in: um yeah I can't say I wanna live in any fictional universe I would wanna live in cause I mainly read/watch sci-fi, dystopians, post apocalyptic or a mix of them.

Imma tag: @freckledsweetpea @fairyypanties @cutenena @lafilledavant @imlilrayofsunshine @lilachour @goodgrlgroup @astr0zombies @coalescent-space @oghoneyboi @hellofromthe-upsidedown @kinell @kittysmashh @asweet0ne @xadmetax @may-main @greenbestcolor @sunsweeties @t-oa-m @monikalewinskyy

[queenofallimagines]

Ok but what about bakugou shouto midoriya kirishima and tamaki with an so who only listens to city girls🥺 I was thinking about writing that but like to cardi b 🤣

Bakugou:

- vibe king!!

- He loves it lmao

- He will practice throwing it back in private and you can’t stop him

- His bio probably got something like “rip juice world”🤢🤢

- Pls introduce him to good music

- The choice is yours by black sheep is his all time favorite

- He loves old head songs

- “Turn that shit up!”

- Probably a simp for DOJA cat tho

- “If she got a better wig technician than her hairline would not be that fucked up”

- “SHUT UP.”

- The down in he dms remix with Nicki is his ringtone for you 🤷🏿‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️

Shoto:

- oh he loves act up that’s his shit

- Will watch you throw it back

- 👀👀👀 headass

- He probably won’t understand how hard the lyrics go but that’s okay

- “What does she mean? Jump if you feeling froggy?”

- “Don’t even worry about it.”

- Will sing along and keep in all the things that are censored no matter who is listening

- You in the car with his dad and he just says

- “If he play you than rule number 2; fuck his best friends and make ‘em yes men.”

- You are so embarrassed

- His dad swiveling his big ass head to the back seat and you aren’t looking away

- Lmao roll the partition up before he asks what that was

- Will sound like an auntie on that “whats that little dance you be doing?”

Deku:

- LMAOO okay so all he listens to is nicki features

- “Might as well be her song”

- Once you turn on city girls it’s a rap

- He’s super red faced trying to enjoy the music

- If you back it up he will faint

- He can’t handle all that at one time you gotta warn him

- Please play savage by Megan and Beyoncé

- You stream it for like 4 days and a row and he will catch himself singing along

- “What’s an onlyfans?”

- “🤐🤐🤐”

- He might slip up and sing it around his mom

- “You can suck a dick-“

- His mom is on the floor laughing at him while trying to apologize

- He is super embarrassed

Kirishima:

- He’s a little shy too

- “STRIPES ON THIS ASS SO HE CALLS THIS PUSSY TIGGER”

- “Babe,,, why are we studying to this song?”

- He likes how energetic it is

- If he catches you throw it back it’s a wrap

- Red daddy riot over here will drag to the bedroom in a hot second

- Will play say so on loop

- Y’all just play loud ass music all hours of the day lmao

- Impromptu dance parties

- He can actually dance too

- Please don’t let him dear about Jason durulo he will never sleep

- “He’s so manly!!”

- “He is a jean vest personified kiri”

Tamaki:

- he can’t do it

- He’s not so much embarrassed by the lyrics

- It’s more you singing them

- Like he’s a whole third year he’s seen some shit

- But this is,,,

- “Bunny isn’t this... a little inappropriate?”

- “You embarrassed tamaki?”

- Catches that ass like a pro

- He doesn’t even know where that came from

- But he’s got rhythm he’s just embarrassed the whole time

- He won’t go find other music on his own but he will go through your playlists

[hettiesworld]

Say So

Pairing: Colin Shea x female reader

Word count: 781 words.

Summary: You have just moved into your friend Ally’s apartment in Boston when you meet her neighbour opposite... completely naked?

Warning(s): Strong language and nudity.

Author’s note: This is also based on the song Say So by Doja Cat. I thought the following dialogue prompt was perfect for Colin. This is for @captain-a-rogerss​, @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ and @donutloverxo​‘s Weekly Challenge. The gifs are not mine. Credit to the owners. (Y/H/T) means your hometown.

Prompts: Person A: “Why are you naked?”

                Person B: “What? It’s laundry day.”

Y/n’s POV:

I knocked on the door to Ally’s apartment and she was probably with another man, once again. I waited for a long time, which made me sit on my bright blue suitcase and fall asleep. 

I then heard the deep chuckle to my right. I awoke, jolting from my position. I put my hands up in a fighting stance and looked around to see who was chuckling at me. 

Just then, Ally’s door opened.

“Hey 6C.” The man said to my friend, leaning against the doorway.

“Why are you naked, Colin?” Ally said to her neighbour. I mentally facepalmed as I didn’t realise that the man who chuckled at me was naked underneath that cloth. I wish that cloth wasn’t there... Wait. What was I saying?

“What? It’s laundry day!” Colin replied, shrugging his shoulders and biting his apple.

“No, it’s not! Laundry day was yesterday, remember? We have the same day to do our laundry.” Ally sighed.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” I inquired to Ally, crossing my arms and looking at Ally for a minute before looking at the handsome man.

Ally sighed. “Y/n, this is Colin, your new next door neighbour. Colin, this is Y/n. My friend from (Y/H/T). She will be living with me for a while.”

“Hi.” I waved at him and blurted out.

“Hey.” He replied.

Ally goes over to Colin and gives him a few rules about my visit.

“Do not flirt with her. Do not intend to have sex with her. Cover yourself up when you’re around her. And do not, and I mean DO NOT actually have sex with her. Especially in my apartment. Got it?”

“Yeah. I got it. Don’t get it on with your friend. Anything else?”

“Yeah. I need your help with finding my exes.”

“Is it about that article about your number? Why are you interested in that sort of stuff anyways?” Colin asked.

“Cause...” Ally was about to explain but she then snapped, “It’s none of your business.”

I just laughed at their conversation from afar. They then started to push each other childishly. Don’t know why. But it was very entertaining.

Welp. This is going to be an... interesting few months in Boston.

-------------------

Before Colin, I've only ever really loved two men, and they were so very different to each other. He was some holy blend of them both, as if the universe made someone that if I ever met them, I'd know for sure they were unique in all the world.

And now I’m getting married to him.

After, basically breaking all of Ally’s rules and a romantic cliche of Colin running through the airport to stop me from going back to (Y/H/T). And he proposed to me. Ally eventually accepted our love for each other as she was with Jake (even though I hated Jake’s guts).

And then we were saying our vows to each other.

When he looked at me it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from my lungs floating into the air like midnight smoke.

At the reception, the room buzzed with excited chatter and children ran between the tables in a good natured game of tag. Then me and Colin entered, applause spread across the room. There was the scraping of chairs as folks got up for a standing ovation and we made their way to the head table, smiling and holding hands. We sat in front of a bouquet of baby pink roses and Colin leaned in for a kiss. There were cheers and someone whooped. After a few moments Ally rose from her chair and everyone else sat down. The sound of her teaspoon rapping on the side of her wineglass signalled everyone to silence, except the children who were shushed by their parents.

“The power of love brings hope, yet at times the steps toward love cause pain and those towards a life of loneliness are comfortable in their familiarity. We are born to love and with all necessary courage to walk the path to it, no matter the roughness, no matter the hardship.” Ally happily said to the wedding guests before turning to us.

“I will love you both unconditionally. Colin, I will let you love Y/n until you see your prison. Then I will simply open the door and let you fly, safe in the knowledge that your love is evergreen.”

After Ally’s speech, it was time for the throwing of the bouquet. The flowers entwined between my fingers holding fast in my hands. My face shone with excitement as I threw the flowers above the crowd of ladies all ready for the catch.

------------------------

Tags:

@optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​, @donutloverxo​, @captain-a-rogerss​ @jtargaryen18​ @averyrogers83​ @katiew1973​ @princess-evans-addict​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @yavanna80​

[dmumt]

Interview tag!

Tagged by @thedeviousdo - thank you 🌟

Rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

Name/Nickname: ayra (my nicknames are dumb im not letting myself get boollied) 

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: leo (i know 🙄)

Height: 5′5″ ish? 167cm i think.

Time currently: 22:30

When is your birthday: august 2nd

Favourite bands/groups: in terms of groups: exo, loona, red velvet, twice. bands: vampire weekend, the internet, machine girl (also cigarettes after sex i’ve been listening to them a lot for the past few days)

Favourite solo artists: oh god let me think. tyler the creator. tame impala. lone. khalid. megan thee stallion. a bunch of lofi artists like j^p^n and eevee and jinsang and kudasaibeats. idk this is hard and im trying to do it off the top of my head. childish gambino. the exo solo stuff obviously. doja cat. frank ocean. daniel caesar. mitski 😀. joji. jongdae (i know i already said exo solo stuff but he deserves his own mention). (i feel like this is not at all representative of what i actually listen to 😀 im always listening to music but the second i get asked about what i listen to im like 🧍🏽‍♀️)

Song stuck in your head: streets by doja cat thanks tiktok

Last movie watched: watched the peanut butter falcon on netflix party with my sister over the weekend 

Last show you binged: currently making my way through it’s always sunny 

When you created your blog: summer 2017 either late june or early july. 

Last thing you googled: progressive familial intrahepatic cholestasis (i was just studying)

Other blogs: not exposing them 😀 i only have 2 side-blogs i use now and one is semi-active and the other i use to interact with my irls

Why you chose your url: kim junmyeon enlistment rotted my brain <3 ... okay no but well what can i say i’m a fan of bald heads and junmyeon just has a really nice one (im still upset about not getting a bald selfie but it’s fine) 

Do you get asks: nope i haven’t for a while but it’s always nice when i do (trans: send me asks and we’ll get married)

How many people are you following: apparently 239? tbh i need to follow more blogs because a lot of those are inactive

How many followers do you have: not a lot but still way too many for my blog

Average hours of sleep: we’re in lockdown number three. at this point who knows. there is no average. i either sleep for 14 hours straight or 3.5 hours. sometimes i take a short power nap and wake up in another dimension. what is a good night’s sleep? what is a night of sleep that makes me feel good? what does it mean to be well rested? all very good questions.

Lucky number: uhhh i don’t really think i have one BUT i can tell you that i see 2, 12, 20, 21, 22 ALL the time (the angels have been doing this to me for months now) and i was born on the second of the month so i think i gravitate towards numbers with twos. 

Instruments: i played the violin for like 6 years back in school but i quit because my failing mental health couldn’t take being shamed by my mean violin teacher anymore.

What I'm currently wearing: black sweatpants and a black turtleneck ( what a lesbian i know 🙄) under a VERY bright blue jumper from the depths of my wardrobe because i ran out of clothes. my socks are cute though they say “start the day with a cup of positivitea” with a picture of a cute lil mug very nice.

Dream job: serving my future wife and taking care of our lovely little cottage and the woods around it 👰🏽🤤 or i mean taking care of people since i guess that’s what my degree is setting me up for 🙄 lately i can’t stop thinking about how cool it would be to be an astronaut but then i remember they have to train super hard and be healthy and i slightly blackout every time i stand up.. whatever i mean i would be too swag for nasa anyway... 

Dream trip: thailand (i was supposed to go last summer </3) 

Favourite food: potatoes in all forms. nd also thai food 🤤

Favourite song: ehhhh i can’t pick one of my favourite songs of all time but my favourite song today is “i don’t like it like this” by the radio dept.

Top three fictional universes you'd like to live in: the wii sports resort universe on the little island or whatever, the hunger games just to befriend peeta and/or be a capitol freak, whatever universe lara croft from tomb raider legend lives in 🤤 im she’s 😍

I will tag @littlechefsoo @abunnycotton @exo-saranghaha @kimjuncottons @xiuminscheeks @yixing-zhang @laytus @untouchabyeolman @bootyful-exo and anyone else who wants to do it - feel free to ignore! 

[intothesonderverse]

Tagged by @cryptiduniverse

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 people you’d like to get to know better!

Alrightyyy let’s begin *throws glitter*

Name: Liz

Gender: *Gru voice* Gorl

Star sign: Aries

Height: 5’5

Time: 5:03

Birthday: April, 1st ah yes April fools day.

Favourite band/group: That’s hard because I don’t obsess over musicians the same way I obsess over authors or other artists. I do enjoy Fallout Boy and I’m sure they’re way more that I can’t think of.

Favorite solo artist: I’ve always like Kelly Clarkson and p!nk lol

Song stuck in my head: Say so by Doja Cat. My work plays it way too much.

Last movie: How to train your dragon 2

Last show: Demon Slayer anime

When did I create this blog: this is a big idk, I legit forgot. Some time early to mid 2020.

What do I post: art and anime gifs

Last thing I googled: The number of the local pizza place.

Other blogs: The only other blog I have is just OC related. I’ll share it later.

Do I get asks: not yet... someday though.

Why I chose my url: I call my creative/comic related work Sondercomics. Plus, the word sonder means a lot to me. (Google it if you want to! It’s my favorite word!)

Following: like, 14 people

Followers: I think I was somewhere around 6-10 (you guys are great 👍)

Average hour of sleep: 8 hours-ish

Lucky number: I’ve always had a fondness for 11? Don’t have a clue why.

Instruments: I’m actually awful at reading sheet music and I’ve never been interested in playing an instruments.

What I’m wearing: lol a tee-shirt and Pajama pants. Normally I’m dressed for work or to run errands, but today was a easy day.

Dream job: not sure yet, hopefully something art related.

Dream trip: I want to see the ocean again

Favorite food: cheesecake

Favorite song: Iris by the Goo goo dolls and King by Lauren Aquilina

Last book I read: space boy vol. 6 and if that doesn’t count... rereading the lightning thief.

Top three fictional universe: The world of avatar... I’m definitely a water bender with some air nomad in me. Camp Half-blood... daughter of Hypnos. Hogwarts... I’m a gryfinnpuff. Lol

Im just gonna leave it at that. Thanks for reading and thanks for tagging me, Kate!

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

About Me

It’s that time again, folks... more than you ever needed to know about me, lol

Rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @gaeadene​! Thanks!

Nickname: Dubs

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: A towering and impressive 5′1″.

House: Ravenclaw

Last thing I Googled: Russian swear words so I could explain what they meant to my friends. (Blyat.)

Song in my head: Doja Cat - Say So

Followers and following: Followed by 176 very cool people. Following 171 other cool people.

Amount of sleep: The sleep to caffeine ratio is mostly in balance. Mostly.

Lucky number: Depends who you ask. Horoscope says 5, 9, 11, 14, 25. Numerology says 2. Who the hell knows.

Dream job: My current gig’s fine. I love my office. Let me write in my spare time and it’s all good.

Wearing: Jeans and a Godzilla: World Destruction Tour shirt.

Fave songs: Well that is a long, long list, my friends. But here are a few that I listen to a lot:

1. The Knocks - Classic 2. Seoul - Stay With Us 3. Powers - Closer 4. The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey - Closer 5. Taylor Swift - New Romantics 6. deadmau5 - Cthulhu Sleeps 7. Fightstar - We Apologize For Nothing 8. Nero - Doomsday 9. EDX - Breathin’ 10. Nora En Pure - Lost In Time

Bonus: The Human League - Human (an all-time fave)

(This is by no means exhaustive. My library is huge.)

Instruments: No. Not a thing.

Random fact: I can say thank you in ten languages - Welsh, English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Czech, Russian, Japanese and Mandarin.

Favorite Authors: Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Mervyn Peake, Raymond Chandler. I also stan Shakespeare.

Fave animal sounds: Peaceful birdsong, Strawberry Kitty’s outrage when I give him kisses he wasn’t expecting, and the fearsome beep of the Namibian Desert Rain Frog.

Aesthetic: Think The Color Out Of Space, with Nicolas Cage. Pink, black. Outer space. Kaiju everything. Eldritch plushies. Impending doom, but the happy kind.

I tag: @solesurvivorkat​, @redwing907​, @itsmesaberaltered​, @inforapenny-inforapound​, @prydwencats​, @lamorellenoire6​, @lynnarii​, @ladynyxeris​, @falsenostalgia-sundries​, @pchberrytea​, @thegreatdivide​, @kittinkanin​, @randomfallout4posts, @mojavejourneys, @theartofblossoming, @derelict-blade and @sharonaw!

[cheeseballs-sao]

17 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by @runawayface <3

nicknames: I was called Bunny by my parents when I was little, and my mum called me ‘Usagi’ which just means bunny in Japanese, because she’s half Japanese and thought it was cool to give us all Japanese nicknames or something. I mostly go by Bunny online too! 

zodiac: Aquarius. I only recently looked into my sign and apparently I’m spantaneous and creative, which I guess makes sense. 

height: 5′5″.  Kind of short. Not as short as yam, and definitely not as short as Sabrina either! I’m way shorter than my partner though; he’s 6 foot.

hogwarts house:  Ravenclaw. Believe it or not, I’m actually pretty smart. 

last thing I googled:  ‘stuffed peppers recipe keto’ because I had a random pepper I needed to use and I’ve recently gone keto in an attempt to lose some weight and get that blood pressure down lmao 

song stuck in my head:  Honestly at the moment it’s ‘Say So’ by Doja Cat. I love everything she’s come out with recently. 

number of followers: like 45??? which makes sense because I never post and I’m not really a Stardew blog anymore. I might change the name of this blog soon tbh. 

amount of sleep:  I have a really really bad sleeping pattern but I need at least 8 hours each night - I’m anaemic and I feel soooo sick if I don’t sleep enough. But I never do, because being a uni student and working late nights at a bar doesn’t allow for that much. 

lucky number: 4, but I’m not sure why. 

dream job:  maybe a writer or a teacher. Definitely not a bartender, I hate it. 

wearing:  Pyjamas full time now. If I go outside I wear leggings and a big t-shirt. I’m looking forward to going back to wearing nice shit soon. 

favorite song:  that’s a reallllly hard question but some classics include Everybody Wants To Rule The World and Mr Blue Sky, and anything by Marina or Ariana Grande because I’m trash. 

favorite instrument: Either piano or violin. I played guitar as a kid and was really good actually but I was kind of forced into it so I wasn’t that into it and quit while I could. 

aesthetic: Usually ‘resting bitch face.’ I only ever wear black to be honest, but I’m not exactly a goth. I’m not sure. 

favorite author: same as yam, it was J.K Rowling but that’s kind of fucked off now. I enjoyed Jenny Han’s books and also Jacqueline Wilson’s books when I was growing up. 

favorite animal noise:  cats purring 

random:  I’ll just list some fandoms I’m in: Harry Potter, Stardew Valley, Sailor Moon, Borderlands, Pokemon, Attack on Titan... and lots more. I guess my favourite nostalgic game of all time is Pokemon Diamond and I really like Asian food. 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/03/2021 (Central Cee, KSI/YUNGBLUD/Polo G)

On the tenth week that a song appears on the UK Singles Chart, it becomes likely that it has a cut to its streaming numbers by the Official Charts Company, particularly if it’s still in the top 10 and especially if it’s #1. So, the streaming and sales do not change, but the Official Charts Company just weighs them differently. This means that it’s often that songs reliant on streaming – read: most of the chart given that the UK doesn’t factor in radio – drop intensely on that particular week. Therefore, we switched out our Pokémon and “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo has been replaced at #1 after nine weeks by “Wellerman”, an 1800s sea shanty from New Zealand covered by Nathan Evans and remixed as a pop-house song by 220 KID and Billen Ted. Of course. I don’t know all of the complexities behind this rule but I do know it shakes up the chart at the cost of it being ridiculously inaccurate – I do think “drivers license” is probably still the biggest song in the country. “drivers license” is at #18 now, by the way. Yikes. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

We have a pretty interesting week, to say the least, but before all that, we can get through this brief rundown as always as we cover the UK Top 75 and all of what’s happening over there, since that’s what I cover. First of all, we do have some big drop-outs, like #1 hits “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek that seemingly had its second wind pummelled this week, and “positions” by Ariana Grande leaving somewhat prematurely. We also have “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers retreating to the other 25 slots I don’t cover because, well, of course, as well as “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus and sadly, “Be the One” by Rudimental featuring MORGAN, TIKE and Digga D, but that’s all for the notable drops out of the chart. Still falling within the chart other than the aforementioned “drivers license” are... basically all of the Drake songs from last week falling behind the top 10 and even the top 20, and two of them being behind “Leave the Door Open” now – thankfully. “What’s Next” is at #20, “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” featuring Rick Ross is at #25 and “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is at #28. We also have a handful of other notable fallers like “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI at #27, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber off of the debut at #31 (could rebound next week when the album makes its impact), “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #35, “Anxious” by AJ Tracey off of the debut to #45, “Anyone” by Justin Bieber at #49, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #54, “Bluuwuu” by Digga D at #57, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #58, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I at #60, “Toxic” by Digga D at #61, “Good Days” by SZA at #64, “Whoopty” by CJ at #65, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa at #66, “Afterglow” by Ed Sheeran at #68, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #69, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #71 and finally, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #75. I hope that next week is the last time I need to say “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV, not because the song is bad but that is a convoluted credit if I’ve ever seen one. In terms of gains and returning entries, it does get interesting. The only return is for “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #67, but our gains include “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #56, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Given at #42 thanks to the video, “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe featuring RAYE at #36 off of the debut, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #32, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man at #29, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf at #24, “Let’s Go Home Together” by Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan at #21, “Little Bit of Love” also by Grennan at #13, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #12 thanks to the video and three songs making their first entry into the top 10 after picking up the pace on the charts recently: “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #9 thanks to his album, “BED” by Joel Corry, RAYE and David Guetta at #8 and finally, to my dismay, “Latest Trends” by A1 x J1 at #2 thanks to a remix featuring Aitch. Sigh, okay, well, we have a... curious selection of new arrivals so let’s start with that.

NEW ARRIVALS

#73 – “You’ve Done Enough” – Gorgon City and DRAMA

Produced by Gorgon City and DRAMA

Gorgon City are a British EDM duo who were particularly big back in 2014 or so when they had their top 10 hits, particularly “Ready for Your Love”, which peaked at #4, but they haven’t really had much success since in the UK or Europe in general. This time, however, they’ve clinched a spot in the top 75 by collaborating with DRAMA, another electronic duo except they’re from Chicago instead of north London and the vocalist here, Via Rosa, is actually from DRAMA and not some uncredited session vocalist or a sample, which surprised me because the vocals here are genuinely great and remind me a lot of these booming diva voices used so commonly in 90s house. In fact, I think this whole song is genuinely great, relying on a house groove that is pretty damn funky and some subtle keys making the foundation for a bouncy four-on-the-floor beat, with the shaky percussion just adding the spice on top of it. It helps that this chorus is pretty ethereal, with Rosa’s vocals booming over this angelic synth blend before a pretty ugly-sounding drop but that is absolutely on purpose, as the content here is about that struggle between trying to find someone and trying to better yourself so you feel like you’d be worthwhile to anyone you end up meeting, which is kind of a depressing cycle in many ways... not that I’ve experienced that, but it sounds like it warrants the DRAMA here. There are tons of intricacies in the productions here too that make the song a lot more complete, particularly in the vocal production and all the intrusive bass wobbles by the second chorus and drop, so, yeah, for once, the generic house tune debuting low on the chart is a pretty great one. I wish it went somewhere further so it sounded like an actual song but as is, without a real bridge, this is still a good, almost anthemic dance track.

#70 – “Rasputin” – Majestic and Boney M.

Produced by Majestic and Frank Farian

Boney M. are a pretty legendary disco group collected by producer Frank Farian of several Caribbean singers to make some of the most fun pop music of the 70s. One of the most interesting things about this band were the fact that they were immensely popular in the Soviet Union back when that existed, and some Soviet films even show their songs playing during high-ranking Soviet government meetings, which sounds like pure comedy. Funnily enough, “Rasputin” was the only song Boney M. were forbidden to play in the USSR, even though it was still a big hit there. The 1978 song, a #2 hit for the band in the UK, basically retells the story that led to infamous and fascinating Tsarist Russian mystic Grigori Rasputin being assassinated, with most claims in the song itself being true or at least as far as we know, although the song does mostly focus on how much of a womaniser he was. The original hit is equally fascinating as the guy himself, with a great typical disco sound, those iconic strings and the use of Russian instrument balalaikas in its mix just furthering that intrigue. Now, in 2021, the song became a hit on TikTok because... of course, and now this remix by a DJ and producer called Majestic, is charting on the UK Singles Chart. Why this remix and not the original song? Well, this is basically a French house remix of the song, using those house patterns not too dissimilar to Daft Punk or Stardust-type stuff, which makes perfect sense to remix a classic disco tune. I do prefer the original track about “Russia’s greatest love machine”, because it’s a lot more natural and the remix is kind of poorly done in some places if I’m being honest, but if this is how kids decide to experience this type of classic disco, I’m not going to complain. It’s a good song; I’m interested to see how this second chart run goes.

#53 – “DAYWALKER!” – Machine Gun Kelly featuring CORPSE

Produced by BaseXX, Machine Gun Kelly and SlimXX

Nope. No, no, no. I refuse. I’m completely fine with bringing pop-punk and post-hardcore stuff back, but if the ringleader is Machine Gun Kelly and he’s bringing out Corpse Husband to help him on this trap-metal garbage, I’m not even going to acknowledge it further than the fact that it exists and it’s probably not in MGK’s best interests to compare himself to Capitol Hill rioters. Otherwise, absolutely not. Nope. Not even going to give this the time of day.

#46 – “Addicted” – Jorja Smith

Produced by Compass

In stark contrast, here we have Jorja Smith’s new single to add to that confusing sophomore album roll-out that I feel has been delaying itself for two years now. This new song is about giving your all to a relationship and not having it reciprocated, but she paints this in a very odd way, painting herself as “too selfless” to leave and that her partner should be “addicted” to her, which seems like the wrong way to go about writing this entirely, especially if this instrumental is going to be the dullest blend of checked-out live percussion and a boring electric guitar loop, and Jorja Smith’s not going to sell this in a different way to how she sells her other songs, going for a subtle croon that just doesn’t make sense for a song where we’re clearly not supposed to think Jorja’s in the right for being this obsessive and somewhat hyperbolic about this relationship not going the way she planned. I could see this being done really well but the song is too weak and flimsy as is to grasp how to handle the content and I’m sorry but it just does not work for me.

#44 – “Day in the Life” – Central Cee

Produced by Frosty Beats

Central Cee released his debut mixtape, Wild West and, listen, there was a point to me not saying much about “DAYWALKER!” so I think Central Cee existing and giving me so little to work with will weaken that point even further. To be fair, I like the choir sample in this beat, even if the drop is going to be really awkwardly staggered by a loose 808 for no reason, and this drill beat never really feels like it keeps up with itself, especially because Central Cee might be the least interesting rapper in a crop of already desperate British rappers. He also says that rappers that use Auto-Tune don’t “really rap” or “really trap”, which is awkward considering some of this guy’s back catalogue, and also incredibly untrue. He also disses D-Block Europe pretty directly which, regardless of who it’s from or how famous DBE continue to get, always feels like punting down, so, yeah, this is worthless.

#43 – “On the Ground” – ROSÉ

Produced by 24, Jon Bellion, Ojivolta and Jordgen Odegard

This is the debut solo single from ROSÉ, one of the singers from K-pop group BLACKPINK, which explains my initial confusion to why this was so high. The label has enlisted Jon Bellion of all people to produce as they intend to push ROSÉ as a global hit-maker in her own right, given that this is part of a two-track EP so that if one track doesn’t do as well, fans could gravitate to another and that becomes the hit. See “Havana” or, really, how Drake releases his singles nowadays. Looking at some of her television appearances and the language surrounding that, it seems like they’ve been trying to push her as a soloist for a while, and given that she broke PSY’s record for most-viewed solo South Korean video in 24 hours with this song, I think it’s a success. Is the song itself any good? Well, to my surprise, it’s all in English. It now sits at 100 million views and really, there’s no way to distinguish that this is from Korea... which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily, because the song is great, relying on this slick electric guitar pluck and ROSÉ’s vocals which, despite being drenched in reverb, sound really great, before the whole song is abruptly plunged into this distorted, bassy electro-pop void which is just a fascinating and kind of avant-garde choice for a pop song like this. The song doesn’t really develop further than that, pretty much repeating its own structure, but that drop with all the spliced-in backing vocals, is such an interesting catharsis itself that I think it makes up for that. The final drop does a lot different as well, going for a lead synth melody on the top of the mix that again sounds really great when paired with that mix and then the rising strings. I was tempted to write this song’s quirks off as shoddy K-pop songwriting but given the credits, especially Jon Bellion, I’m confident all of this nonsense is absolutely on purpose, and I love it. Check it out, I hope this becomes a hit outside of this debut week, although I really don’t think that’ll happen given it’s (ostensibly) a K-pop song and their western success is largely dominant on sales from fans. Regardless, I’m glad it debuted here in the first place as I wouldn’t have heard it otherwise.

#16 – “6 for 6” – Central Cee

Produced by Okami202, Sevon and Young Chencs

This is Cee’s sixth song to hit the chart, and hence he’s going “six for six”, even though only two of those singles were actually poised to stick around in any shape or form. He does seem to be going somewhere with this, particularly the direction I thought “Loading” would be going, as it uses a choir sample as the background to this janky UK drill beat... but it’s soon drowned-out and Cee himself is such a non-presence that it’s not worth paying attention to the guy’s content, let alone his lyrics which seem to try and be somewhat introspective about his drug-dealing and gang violence, but end up being incredibly shallow and not really saying anything, about as shallow as this instrumental. The outro would be a pretty nice piano interlude if it didn’t stop so abruptly and I’ve only got to hope that leads into a track on the album and isn’t just a mistake, because I’m not listening to that mixtape if my life depended on it. Another snooze from Central Cee, what a surprise.

#3 – “Patience” – KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G

Produced by Matt Schwartz

Remember when I said we had three songs making their first entry into the top 10? Yeah, turns out that I’m a compulsive liar since we actually have a fourth at #3, and I’m tempted to nope my way out of this one as well. What’s with this week and whiny, wannabe pop-punk singers collaborating with obnoxious YouTubers? I feel like I’m too old to cover this stuff every other week, and that’s saying something considering KSI himself is pushing 30 at this point, but regardless, I have to check out the song and to my surprise, it’s actually kind of decent. It goes for an 80s synth-rock vibe, with massive guitar tones and obviously not live drums that kind of undercut the pretty great bass groove here, but man, Polo G sounds surprisingly good on this production. His verse is pretty infectious, even if it ends up crushed at the end by YUNGBLUD’s hook, which sounds the least insufferable this guy has ever been, probably because of how the vocal production keeps him slightly in check. KSI himself might be the weakest link as he cannot sing at all, and the Auto-Tune in his verse is not helping, but I do like his David Bowie-interpolating ad-libs on the choruses (Yes, seriously). The bridge is a pathetic excuse of a bridge and the song’s mostly chorus – I’m kind of worried about KSI as a hit-maker going forward if he’s going to consistently contribute so little to his own singles, most of which have two other people on. I mean, it works as a short, inoffensive pop-rock song and not much else. I really wish this was Polo G’s song, actually, I think he deserves a second verse here.

Conclusion

Well, that week happened, that’s for sure. I’m going to give Best of the Week to the obvious outlier here, “On the Ground” by ROSÉ, but not without an Honourable Mention to Gorgon City and DRAMA for “You’ve Done Enough”. Worst of the Week is also going to the obvious outlier, “DAYWALKER!” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Corpse Husband. Can I give a song I literally refused to review Worst of the Week? Yes, yes, I can. For Dishonourable Mention, just pick your Central Cee-flavoured poison. Here’s this week’s top 10:

I’ll see you next week for... Justin Bieber and Lana Del Rey. Damn, maybe I won’t see you next week.

[rradcattt]

Our Fave Music to Get you Through Lockdown #3

As we go into #lockdown number three, we at Lazy Oaf HQ have compiled a list of all our fave music ATM to help you get your dancing shoes on.

how i’m feeling now - Charli XCX

Charli XCX’s fourth studio album “how i’m feeling now” is an ode to what it means to be a creative in lockdown. Conceived, created and released over the summer of 2020, it came as a breath of fresh air to fans of XCX’s music in what was becoming an increasingly overwhelming time. First announced to fans over a zoom call (I mean seriously, can it GET much more 2020 than that?) how i’m feeling now is an incredibly intimate piece of work, created solely with the tools she had available to her at the time and collaborating with her fans rather than other big name musicians. Dripping in her own style and signature synths, this album is sure to keep you feeling like the baddest version of yourself, even if you’ve been wearing the same pair of sweats for a week. 

Isolation - Kali Uchis 

Kali Uchis’ perfectly named album “Isolation”, although released in 2018..., is a beautiful mix of breezy groove and psychedelic. While you may have heard her music trending on Tiktok to aesthetic videos of pretty girls (if you haven’t heard After the Storm, where have you been?) Her music more importantly finds clever ways to lace politics into artwork with tracks such as Miami, where both herself and rapper BIA narrate from an immigrant's perspective of the American Dream. It’s silky vibe and longing undertones are perfect soundtracks to spending summer in your back garden sipping homemade martinis. 

Hot Pink - Doja Cat

Released in 2019 just before lockdown number 1, Doja Cat's album Hot Pink took the internet by storm with it’s catchy melodies and iconic explicits that became fan favourites for thirst trap instagram captions. You’ve probably seen at least someone bust out “the Say So dance” at some point over the year, becoming a viral sensation that got it played out over the radio for weeks, later followed by sister songs from the album Like That and Cyber Sex, along with a slightly more sensual Rules. If you’re looking for the perfect mix of feel good grooviness and not safe for work naughtiness, you’ll find it in Hot Pink.

Daisy 2.0 - Ashnikko / Miku Hatsune 

December release Daisy 2.0 is an incredible remix of Ashnikkos single Daisy.  Featuring Japanese avatar Hatsune Miku, the track presents the perfect balance between Ashnikkos punky bad bitch nature, and Miku’s hypnotic hyperpop essence. The song comes just before the release of Ashnikkos new mixtape Demi Devil, set to arrive mid February of this year. If you’re looking for your new “main character takes over the world” song, this is a fierce contender. Zip up your biggest platforms and put on your biggest falsies, Ashnikkos Daisy 2.0 is about to take you on the trip of a lifetime.

Nightmare Vacation - Rico Nasty 

Best described by Elly Watson of DIY, Rico Nasty’s Nightmare Vacation will “chew you up and spit you out, and you’ll love every minute of it”. Filled to the brim with attitude and empowerment, this album challenges the narrative of female rappers that has been created for them by the industry and pulls you in every wonderful direction it possibly can. From angry punk fuelled and emo rap inspired tracks like Smack a Bitch and Let it Out, to fun vibey hip hop and pop songs like Don’t Like Me and Loser, Rico Nasty will show you every inch of her artistic ability and make you feel like the coolest version of yourself you possibly can. Catchy lyrics filled with nostalgia will send you right back to your childhood (see if you can spot her mean girls reference) and make you want to rip out your old Juicy tracksuit and chunky sunglasses for sure, what better way to show up to your family zoom quiz right?

Follow our Lazy Oaf Lockdown playlist on spotify to hear more of our faves!!

[t-shrt]

many tag games !!

ty to the one n only ms @luvdsc​ for giving me fun stuff to do💘💘💘💖💖

TAG GAME 1: first and last tag

rules: post the first line of a wip as well as the last line you’ve written so far! (well would u look at that.. i actually got answers for this one)

wip title: tis a [11.06 pm] timestamp first line: “Wanna drink?” last line: “Aw cmon, whatever, I just want to feel good,” You say, “You were asking me what’ll make me feel good, this’ll make me feel good.”

TAG GAME 2

rules: create a mood board of your aesthetic using the app shoplook!

(i rly ended up taking much more time making this than i thought i would’ve lolll)

TAG GAME 3

what do you prefer to be called name wise? in general? tiara :)

when is your birthday? 11th aug!

where do you live? australia

three things you are doing right now? listening to music, laying on my bed, checking my messages

four fandoms that have piqued your interest? other than nct, i’m sorta dabbling in skz content too, other than that a buncha other anime stuff probs how has the pandemic been treating you? thankfully .... think i’m doing better than i thought. anxiety’s there but i’ve had tons of time to reflect on a lot of things & address things that actually matter to me a song you can’t stop listening to right now? motive by ariana grande + doja cat 😬 recommend a movie. i’m gonna be that person and say eternal sunshine of the spotless mind cos i actually Love that movie how old are you? relic

school, university, occupation, other? i used to study psych, became a typical office lady, n now studying to become a teacher do you prefer heat or cold? cold 10000% name one fact others may not know about you? orange marmalade is my favorite kinda jam. interestingly enough i also love sweet citrusy kinda notes in perfumes are you shy? i dont think so lol. i just don’t talk too much sometimes when i don’t really feel like do you have preferred pronouns? she/her biggest pet peeve? people who take themselves too seriously.... i mean like, the big ego, self entitled kind u feel what is your favorite “dere” type? oh god lol. not sure. all deres r created equally rate your life from 1-10, 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be. maybe around 8 at the moment? lol i’m pretty content with the way things are which is pretty rare these days what’s your main blog? this one lol list your sideblogs and what they’re used for. i literally wrote a hormonally charged, heavily symbolic, almost poetic 5k hyuck fic n dipped over on @m88n​ lmaooo. might write more though

is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends? oh yeah definitely lol. im bad at responding to little things, like texts and such. its cos i’m really greedy with my own personal space...it’s really not a reflection of how much i care about u

TAG GAME 4: urban dictionary

rules: search your name on urban dictionary and post the first result

(lmfaoooo why the hell is it this long but thx i guess codyislit)

TAG GAME 5: 15 questions

nicknames: tiara, ti, tir, titi, tirara

zodiac: leo sun, aquarius moon, cancer rising (yea thats right im the kinda person that’d tell u all 3)

height: 5′2/157 cm

last thing i googled: rendezvous at two play with me lyrics

song stuck in my head: motive - ariana grande + doja cat (i know i know)

number of followers: i think below 300

amount of sleep: 7-9 hrs

lucky number: 8

favourite song: eternal sunshine - jhene aiko

favourite instrument: bass guitar

dream job: published artist

aesthetic: black, streetwear, lace, starry nights, flirty night outs

favourite author: don’t have one nowadays

favourite animal noise: lil squeaks from small animals

random: i appeared in NHK japan national morning news when i was in grade school lmfaooo

TAG GAME 6

rules: tag people you want to get to know better/catch up with and answer these questions

favorite colour: 1# blue, #2 black

last song I listened to: my hair - ariana grande (i’m currently listening to her album alrighttttt)

last movie I watched: blackpink’s documentary

last show (completed): bakuman season 1 good shit

currently reading: yikes i should continue reading the stuff i have in my kindle

currently watching: bakuman s2, jujutsu kaisen, haikyuu s5

currently craving: banh mi LOL prolly gonna get one shortly after

currently working on: uni essays + sumthin w my bro in law lol

currently playing: nothing ;____;

sweet, spicy, or savoury:  sweettt but love all 3

tea or coffee: tea pls. i drink tea everyday now lol

TAG GAME 7

name: tiara

pronouns: she/her

height: 5′2/157 cm

sexuality: bi w more pref twds men

nationality: indonesian

favourite animal: cats😍😍😍😍

favorite ice cream flavor: i luv my choccy

favorite fictional universe: this is difficult ........... naruto? harry potter?

average hours of sleep: 7-9 hrs

last song you listened to: obvious - ariana grande

last movie you watched: blackpink’s documentary

last thing you searched up: hearteyes emoji lol

cats or dogs: CATS

dream job: published artist bruh

when you made this blog: sometime in 2013

why you made this blog: everyone else ws using tumblr n i thought hey ill try tht thing everyone else is doing

reason for url: i love shirts. haha jk .... its a pun lol

[dennnji]

get to know me tag 🎀

thanks for tagging me @angelpcy 💕💕💕

rules: answer thirty questions and tag the people you’d like to get to know better

nicknames: most ppl call me just by my name but my fam calls me dasha (and i hate the other one - daria pizdaria lmaooo literally means a mess and they’re right ahsjjsks)

gender: female

star sign: sagittarius

MBTI type: infj

height: 167 cm

time: 9:18 pm

birthday: december 16

favorite bands: aside from kpop i listen to the smiths, epik high, massive attack… lmaoo i think that’s legit it,,,,,, hmm 🤔 salt n pepa, korn, modest mouse, two door cinema club, the doors 🤔🤔🤔

favorite solo artists: dean, harry styles (like srsly check out his solo album I’m still shook can’t believe i was snatched), jay park, jessi, amy whinehouse, lim kim, heize, cardi b, NICKI, adore delano, mariahlynn, lorde, doja cat, donna summers, loco, simon d, gray, hoody kim (whole aomg crew actually), ziont, clara, rich chigga, keith ape, okasian, DUMBFOUNDEAD, SOKO, LITTLE SIMZ, tekno, marilyn manson lmaoo i aint even joking i have 3 of his albums also love my boy bewhy

song stuck in my head: bodak yellow - cardi b lmao bc of u @angelpcy 💞 THESE EXPENSIVE THESE IS RED BOTTOMS THESE IS BLOODY SHOES 🙌 lmao great song best 10000/10

last movie i watched: sunset boulevard it’s great amazing 💯

last show i watched: rpdr, finished the 6th season 2 days ago ( love bianca the loml 👌)

when did i create my blog: sometime in fall 2014 lmaoooo

what i post about: kpop/aes pics/films/music

last thing i googled: sephora

do you have other blogs: tons, i mostly use @pmmms -anime sideblog lmao kms, @softstudyign -studyblr, @sf9smom -an sf9 blog, @bbystrology -astrology blog, @goreum - kdrama/movie blog but I don’t watch as many now so I’m not rly on there AA yeah also @owjisoo -blackpink blog

do you get asks: rarely not gonna lie jdkdkd

why did you choose your URL: to hype up wanna one’s debut love them 💕💞💘💗💖💝

following: about 2k blogs

followers: just recently hit 1k thanks guys 🙏💞

favorite color: i like pastel colors, mostly pink tbh ✌️🎀

average hours of sleep: 8-10 hrs

lucky number: none

instruments: i used to play the cello and i have a guitar which i occasionally play (tbh only when someone comes over and makes me jdjdks) but i want to improve my guitar playing bc I’m self taught if u can even say that lol i suck, bit of piano too

what am i wearing: my nightgown - I literally change into sleepwear the minute i enter the house ✌️

how many blankets do i sleep with: one

dream job: idk lol, a sculptor or a composer

dream trip: FIJI - I might be going next year and I’m so excited

favorite food: most fruits 😂🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑🥝

nationality: serbian

tagging @hydranoel, @yuvinie, @egg8, @arrozito, @mytaeddy, @eyestalks you don’t have to do this!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/11/2020 (Ariana Grande, Little Mix)

We’re in a similar situation to last week where despite two massive albums – Little Mix’s Confetti even debuting at #2 on the album chart behind Kylie Minogue’s Disco (which was unprecedented but completely understandable since Kylie is massive here) – are both released, but there’s a very muted impact on the chart, mostly because of silly UK Singles Chart rules. In fact, you could argue there’s more impact from smaller releases from Giggs and The Kid LAROI, but that’s just how streaming goes. Since this chart doesn’t include radio, hip-hop has more of a chance in many ways to debut on the chart than the type of pop Kylie makes but its longevity is seriously impaired. Also, ageism doesn’t exist on the albums chart but on here it is in full effect. Regardless, we have 12 new arrivals, mostly from the aforementioned artists, so let’s start. Ariana Grande’s “positions” is still #1 – you can chalk that up to lack of competition – and welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Before we get to the songs debuting on the UK Top 75 proper this week, let’s have our brief little musical rundown, starting with the drop-outs as there were a fair few, namely “Go Crazy” by Chris Brown and Young Thug (a pretty damn big hit for the both of them), “West Ten” by AJ Tracey and Mabel (again, a very big hit, one of the biggest of the year making its exit), “Only You Freestyle” by Headie One and Drake lasting longer than I expected or it probably should have, “Loose” by S1mba and KSI leaving perhaps prematurely, “808” by Da Beatfreakz, Dutchavelli, DigDat and B Young, “5AM” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz (Thank God) and a couple of our high debuts and returns from last week, like “motive” by Ariana Grande featuring Doja Cat – but we will see more of Ariana today – and the charity single “Four Notes – Paul’s Tune” by Paul Harvey and the BBC Philharmonic, as well as all three of the returning Halloween tracks, including “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. Oh, yeah, and as anyone could safely predict, all of the Bring Me the Horizon songs are gone, even “Teardrops”, which means we officially have 100% less metalcore on the chart, and I’m surprised to say I’m genuinely disappointed. In terms of returning entries, we have “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi making a return to #71, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey re-appearing for the first time this year and remarkably early to #60 and some returns from album boosts, those being “Magic” by Kylie Minogue peaking at #53 and “Happiness” by Little Mix doing the same at #43. The biggest fall this week was “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy dropping out of the top 10 to #31, probably because it had its streaming numbers cut as many songs do after they’ve reached more than 10 weeks in the top 40. The biggest gain however was for “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI just missing out on the top 40 at #44. I can honestly see this becoming huge. Oh, and “Whoopty” by CJ is now in the top 40 at #39. Joy... Let’s just get straight to these new songs.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “WITHOUT YOU” – The Kid LAROI

Produced by Blake Slatkin and Omar Fedi

So this kid LAROI released an EP that attaches to a mixtape he released earlier this year, Frick Love, which has been reissued as a sort of deluxe edition, without there even being a debut studio album to reissue, just a mixtape. Either way, this new hybrid deluxe version, repackaged as Frick Love (Savage), has been considerably more successful than the original mixtape so far, probably off of the back of that “SO DONE” single. Awful cover art aside; I did not listen to this project because I am not interested at all in some Australian emo-rapper’s EP, especially if it’s going to Marshmello, Machine Gun Kelly and YoungBoy Never Broke Again on it. This kid LAROI said that this is his favourite song off of the release because, and I quote verbatim: “I just like it, I don’t know, it’s kind of, dude, I don’t know, it’s a little different, it’s like a little, uh, acoustic vibe, uh, I just like it.” It’s nice to see this new generation of musicians be so articulate. Well, this is a pretty trite song with rote acoustic guitar strumming that is pretty conventional of softer emo-pop, but this song doesn’t come with infectious choruses, emotional bloodletting or even more than a single verse. Instead, it’s just absolute garbage with a guitar riff I swear I’ve heard before. There’s no development to this increasingly exhausting ballad other than this kid LAROI crooning and moaning in a pathetic Auto-Tune falsetto some clearly misogynist lyrics that he only picked up from Juice and other rappers. This kid shouldn’t care about making wives out of hoes, he should be studying. I’m almost offended by this on a personal level, or at least the principle that this kid at seventeen years old could go on about heartbreak that probably didn’t happen and use it to excuse and disguise clearly lazy, sexist lyrics. At least with other emo-rap it feels genuine and angsty. This is just disposable garbage that his audience will eat up like fast food, and it comes from such an insincere place that I can’t excuse it.

#66 – “ALWAYS DO” – The Kid LAROI

Produced by Omar Fedi, Khaled Rohaim, Donn Robb and Haan

Just like that, he’s back, folks. Okay, well, he starts off this song by saying he’s drinking again, which he can’t do for another year according to Australian law. I’ll take that as a complete lie he’s hogged from his mentor Juice WRLD and clearly not understood why that led to his downfall and death; the glamorisation of drugs in Juice’s music was unintentional and misconstrued that way by record label yes-men and some of his fans, who ate up the music and maybe didn’t grasp the message Juice was clearly advocating for. So, you’re just going to blindly lie to your fans – ALL of which are children – about substance abuse with very little commentary around it other than how it affects this fake relationship for the sake of making “relatable” hits that ultimately go against everything Juice would have wanted? Delightful. When other rappers talk about a bitch, they have a casual, disposable tone that suggests they’re groupies and whilst this is such an accepted form of misogyny in music, which also annoys me for the record even if music I adore expresses as such, it at least shows that the rappers don’t care or use the women as a line-filler or flex. When this douche says the word “bitch”, he means it. It comes with such vile, toxic bitterness that I’m convinced the Kid LAROI just hates women. Not even specific women, just the concept of “woman”. Sigh... can someone take this disrespectful toad off the charts – and quick?

#64 – “Buff Baddies” – Giggs

Produced by Trooh Hippi

Speaking on not respecting women, British rapper Giggs is here with his second mixtape. He’s got a couple more tracks on the chart, this is the first and it’s all about “buff baddies”. “WAP” has led to men thinking they can be extra horny as well and I’m not going to shame any kind of sex positivity but when Giggs talks almost exclusively what the women are doing for him and doesn’t have a lick of personality to it, it feels less absurd and over-the-top than it does just gross. It doesn’t help that his delivery is almost comically blunt and completely charmless over this non-existent cloudy trap beat, and there’s no hook or chorus to speak of, so this is just completely worthless. This reminds me of Dean Blunt’s Babyfather projects, you know, the mixtapes where he actively makes fun of this type of rap and even then is miles more interesting and charismatic? God, what an awful track.

#63 – “I’ll Call You Back” – dutchavelli

Produced by Big Zeeko

Oh, and dutchavelli released an album too called Dutch from the 5th, so we have more to come from him as well. Look, I’m tired, I’m fed up, I just want this episode to be done with and maybe I’m not in the right mood to listen to snooze-worthy generic hacks in modern hip hop all have their own mini-album bombs. Just maybe. I’m not sure if that excuses the clear lack of quality and effort in any of this, or the fact that the billion-dollar company I use to listen to the product of billion-dollar companies apparently can’t have an app that works and allows me to listen to said product. To be fair to dutch, this is a more introspective track with melancholy piano loops and pretty basic trap-drill percussion, but I do like some of the lyrical content here, where he talks about how even though he feels distant from his loved ones as a big star, he really wants to keep in contact and he details some of his struggles in a really heartfelt way. His delivery is emotive and even when it’s heavily Auto-Tuned, you can tell he’s pretty frustrated with the conflict between his newfound popularity and keeping up to standards with his personal relationships. He’s not always perfectly on beat and honestly the song kind of goes nowhere, but I like the lyrics about his childhood and his mother, and I especially think his breathless, stiff cadence when he pleads with his girlfriend is pretty effective. As a song though, I don’t think I’ll be going back to this at all, which is a shame.

#59 – “Get Out My Head” – Shane Codd

Produced by Shane Codd

Shane Codd is an Irish producer, singer and DJ from Dublin who amassed a following from his playlist showcasing classic trance and house hits from the 1990s and 2000s, which he became infatuated with as a child, explaining why his first and only song is already on the chart, albeit just at #59. That “Trance Anthems 90s-00s” playlist does have some bangers (I’m not going to complain about Alice Deejay, Moby or Zombie Nation), so does Codd follow in the footsteps of these classic trance acts? Well, no. No, he doesn’t. This is a house-pop song if anything, but it’s not like I know all the ins and outs of this stuff. I have a friend that does know a lot about trance; I don’t even think she’d like this. It’s pretty lazy, bizarrely-mixed house with a lot of focus on those classic 90s pianos that do sound straight out of that diva house and Eurodance era (in fact, this is practically a Eurodance song), but without much character to speak of. For a first song, it is impressively professional but not to the extent that the percussion sounds any less cheap or tinny, or that the chopped-up vocals, from some generic female singer as always, are charming. This is exactly what I think would happen if you fed a robot tropical house music, a couple FL Studio plug-ins and a “Trance Anthems 90s-00s” playlist, and told it to produce some kind of cohesive result in return. It’s telling that this soulless dreck charted, but hey, if he’s got the following and any kind of budget, he could improve considerably and this isn’t that bad on principle. It’s just wearing influences not on the sleeve but as make-up, to cover up the lack of artistic dignity or progression the guy has, not that I expect him to (it is only his first song after all). Next.

#56 – “Say Something” – Kylie Minogue

Produced by Jon Green and Richard “Biff” Stannard

I'm not a big Kylie Minogue fan but I can admit like anyone who's not too far up their own ass that she has a lot of classics, a lot of bops and most importantly to this show in particular, a lot of bonafide smash hits to her belt. My personal favourite is "The Loco-Motion" but her 2014 album Kiss Me Once was a big factor into my appreciation of this type of inoffensive dance-pop (that indirectly made me eventually start this series), especially the lead single "Into the Blue". Speaking of lead singles, this was the lead for her 2020 effort, Disco, but it didn't actually chart until this week interestingly. Well, with that said, there must be a reason the big lead single from July didn’t chart until November, and the second single, “Magic”, did, so I’m not expecting prime Kylie here, and I’m not expecting myself to write positively about it either because I had to restart Spotify like five times before being able to actually play the song so I’m pretty annoyed with these billion-dollar companies right now... and, yeah, okay, with the synthesized choir and the staccato synth bass, I can understand how this feels less alive than other songs she’s made, particularly because this feels like a rather dumbed-down revision of 1980s pop with some really awkward vocal mixing and a chorus that never really hits. Kylie doesn’t sound great here at all either, and the guitars are just kind of garish, especially in the first verse. It doesn’t help that this is a messy song structure-wise, and that the title drop in the chorus is neither cathartic nor worth waiting for. There’s also a bridge-outro that never leads back into a chorus, so the song just floats away sadly into nowhere. Yeah, it’s safe to say this is a disappointment, especially from a lead single but it does make sense that at this point in her career Kylie and her team may be artistically stagnating. It’s been more than three decades; I’m just impressed she’s still putting out music.

#54 – “Plugged in Freestyle” – A92 and Fumez the Engineer

Produced by Charlie Mockler

It’s not often that the engineer gets lead billing, let alone an engineer whose stage name is entirely based on the fact that he is an engineer, and didn’t even produce the track. Anyway, it’s not actually unusual for YouTube and radio freestyles to chart, in fact the GRM Daily Duppy freestyles have charted before for both J Hus and Aitch. It is unusual for viral Irish drill tracks to chart however, but this did get traction as a viral video as well as the absurdity of Irish drill, which is now a rising phenomenon. A92 is an Irish drill group and all of the four members present here get three verses each, leading up to either 12 verses overall or just one big collaborative verse depending on how you count these things. You may notice at this point that I’m stalling, mostly because the Spotify app still refuses to function correctly once again. It’s not like I’m missing much in terms of unique bars or even cadence. I expected a delivery or flow that was more energetic from the Irish, just saying. There’s a lot of pointless censorship when it’s pretty clear what they’re saying, and the guys are obviously lipsyncing in the video so it’s not like this is some impressive off-the-cuff freestyle. I do like the incredibly deep voice Dbo has but it’s not interesting enough to carry his uninteresting flow and this really minimal, basic drill beat that works for its intended purpose to carry the bars but it does not make an impression further than that and by the end of the track, it’s just dull. I do admit to really liking the fourth guy Offica’s verses here because he has a lot more energy and intriguing flows than the rest of them; if any of this group get a solo career off the back of this I’d expect it to be him, or at least I’d hope so. Overall, though, I’m not a big fan although I don’t think this is bad, just unremarkable. If I thought it was bad, I think this episode would end up being posted posthumously anyway.

#52 – “Zero Zero” – dutchavelli

Produced by The Fanatix

Oh, hey, look! It’s more of the same. I imagine if you follow the US charts, you’d soon get tired of the trap garbage that somehow ends up on there in the lower reaches of the chart when it could be given to more promising mainstream-adjacent acts that end up just popping up on the Bubbling Under. Whilst I don’t really have the same problem with this chart, I am growing tired of UK drill music at this point and its indignant refusal to be interesting. It’s not like I have an issue with the music itself because I can usually ignore it, but does all of it really HAVE to chart? When it was new and relatively interesting I welcomed it but the sparse drum patterns, badly mixed 808s and “menacing” pianos are all very much getting on my nerves at this point in the year, especially when the chart is flooded with this stuff. For every weekly pathetic house-pop tune we get, we also get at least three drill “bangers”. Maybe the charts have just made me cynical. I should probably maybe rest before trying to continue this episode – I’ve given a notice on Twitter that grants me more time so I suppose I’ll get back to you when I’m not mindlessly ranting about drill music.

Alright, so I haven’t slept but Spotify has decided to function for now, and I guess I might as well use this opportunity to write about the last few arrivals. We all have our “off” days, and this was one of mine so I apologise if this episode isn’t up to scratch – even if admittedly, I’m telling myself that more than anyone else. Oh, and this song is actually kind of fun, with his really elegant strings that are backed up by some hard-hitting drill percussion that actually makes for a pretty hard beat here, especially with those extra sound effects. Seriously, props to the Fanatix for this, and dutchavelli actually brings a lot more energy than I expected, even on the ad-libs on the chorus, though of course, the content isn’t anything new. He is finding new and funny ways to talk about crack cocaine trafficking though, so I commend that. The skit is kind of pointless but I’m sure it makes sense in the album. That was quick! In fact, I’m going to try and be quick before I fall asleep.

#49 – “Spin this Coupe” – Abra Cadabra

Produced by H1K and Zenith

I’ve restarted Spotify so many times and I’ve restarted my computer at least thrice. This desktop app still refuses to function and this is a recent but bloody persistent problem. Maybe I should just re-download the Spotify app, but it does aggravate me that it does this when I’m supposed to be, you know, REVIEWING THE CHARTS. It’s not like it’s down for other people either, it just likes to freeze on me for no reason other than my own suffering. There’s a Dave song coming so I’ve kind of been raring to get to that but just to keep myself in check and on routine I suppose I need to listen to this garbage. I didn’t mind Abra Cadabra on the “BLM” song from a few weeks ago and I do like the semi-introspective tone he has lyrically here, showing some kind of self-awareness about the gang violence he discusses in his music. Lyrics like that are few and far between however and more often than not it’s just uninspired gunplay and some flexing over some drill type beat. I swear I’ve heard that exact same hi-hat sound and pattern so many times, and other than some overly-energetic ad-libs that make this shoddily-mixed track even uglier sounding, Abra Cadabra is not selling any of this, even when he does a more rapid-pace, energetic yelling flow. He’s not saying anything memorable and he’s only vaguely on beat. I mean, it’s fine but I’m sick of this already. There’s a preview of another song on the YouTube video for this song and I thought it was just another verse. Come on, lads, think of something else.

#35 – “Straight Murder (Giggs & David)” – Giggs featuring Dave

Produced by KeyzMusic

What an odd title. It’s like if I called this show REVIEWING THE CHARTS (Cactus), like we know your names, guys. Is this how they want to credit Dave as a co-lead artist or something? I’ve got no idea but this is our second and final track from Giggs’ Now or Never and thank God, it features Dave, a British rapper I really enjoy. His album PSYCHODRAMA was one of the best records I heard last year and I’ve consistently liked most of his stuff, specifically his brand of cool, relaxed flows and blunt, admittedly corny punchlines with a lot of conscious influence and cleverness that most of these drill guys wouldn’t dare to try and implement in their singles. He and J Hus form a crossroad between the mainstream British rap scene and more underground or alternative acts; he strikes me very much as a more accessible male Little Simz, a sharp lyricist with a lot of unique charm who knows how to have fun. In fact, the one thing I don’t think Dave can do convincingly is rap on a drill beat, or at least one like “Paper Cuts” where he just sounded sloppy. He also had a feature on a D-Block Europe song that was just comical, so I can’t say his recent efforts have been as good but that performance of “Black” at the BRITs really cemented him as one of the best British musicians in the charts right now for me and a lot of other people, so this acts as kind of a comeback single for him, even if it is just a throwaway feature track – there’s a reason this debuted so high. I do think this could stick around as well since Dave does have longevity. I still bump “Funky Friday” more than two years later, although to be fair that did hit #1. This won’t, but is it good? Yeah, this appeals to the part of me that just wants bars over a pretty solid, atmospheric trap beat, and Dave does sound checked-out at times but that’s always been a part of his casual, sliding delivery. There is a lot of empty space in his verse but it’s always played out for comedic effect I feel and while this is a flow he’s definitely used before, the sheer length of this verse means it would be difficult for him to have more hits and misses and yeah, his delivery makes nearly all of these lines hit. Compare the amount of Genius annotations on his verse to how many are on Giggs and you can see why I like this guy a lot more. He may be blunt but it has layers and layers of charm to it, and some of these bars are more than they look to be on the surface. Even his opening line about taking orders can be explained in various different ways: he knows about taking orders but he “doesn’t know” about taking orders, suggesting he doesn’t like taking orders, but what are these orders? They could be taking orders from a boss and now he’s a boss but they could also be about drug trafficking or sending out hits, and then he really “doesn’t know” about taking orders, if you catch my drift. Other than that, he uses his “Streatham” flow to mostly flex but there’s tons of wordplay and I appreciate that more than the boring matter-of-fact structure of verses that half of these other UK rappers have. He’s just effortlessly spitting here and I’ll take that any week but especially this week. Welcome back, Dave, I’m excited to see what you’ve got in store for your next album. Oh, and Giggs is here but who gives a –

#23 – “Confetti” – Little Mix

Produced by TM5

Surprisingly, no Little Mix songs penetrated the top 20, or at least no new ones. In fact, this is our only new song from the girls thanks to silly UK chart rules, and, really, it’s just here because it’s the title track. I can’t say much about Little Mix because I feel there’s nothing to discuss. The new album is something I have not bothered to listen to out of pure disinterest, and this title track... doesn’t seem like a title track. You’d think a title track would be a bit flashier than some dated DJ Mustard hyphy-like beat with pretty pitiful trap percussion and plastic vocal production that makes the girls sound admittedly less inhuman than usual. In fact, they sound more human here than ever, maybe because they’re surrounded by one of the stiffest R&B instrumentals I’ve ever heard, and partly because some of the background vocal melodies are actually pretty catchy, even if the chorus makes it clear that none of it matters since the non-existent pay-off is not worth any of the similarly void build-up. This is a fine, rather understated song where the girls mostly just flex – which is pretty unheard of for a dance-pop track – so I have no issue with it but this could have actually been good... and was once again watered down by manufactured factory-sealed production. Speaking of talented women being let down by production...

#22 – “pov” – Ariana Grande

Produced by Oliver Frid, TBHits and Mr. Franks

So we got the obviously planned pop smashes out of the way from Positions so now it’s time to see what the fans are really gravitating to and to my surprise, it’s the closer. This is the fan favourite from the record and is just now charting because “motive” dropped out and it’s clear why this one is the preferred track. It takes somewhat of an introspective outlook but very much through an immature, lovestruck tone running through the track and its really sweet lyrical content, where she just expresses how much her partner loves her to the point of her even feeling some bizarre envy in the chorus, as she wants to reach a level of self-love comparable to how her partner feels about her. She wants to see why her partner loves her this much despite what she perceives as tragic flaws. By the bridge, she reaches a conclusion that there isn’t any emotional baggage coming with this relationship anymore, a natural book-end to her “leaving her baggage at the door” in the opener of the album. I love the vocal melodies here, with her multi-tracked cooing really shining beautifully amongst the flourishes of strings and more subtle pianos, with trap-adjacent snapping percussion that is actually well implemented and adds a sense of casualness to the song that would otherwise perhaps seem too melodramatic for Ariana. Also, the last line in the chorus is admirable and it works as a perfect closer to the record.

Conclusion

So there is a single good song here, and that is “pov” by Ariana Grande which snags Best of the Week, and, sure, while I like Dave on “Straight Murder (Giggs & David)”, Giggs royally screws up so it can only get the Honourable Mention. For Worst of the Week it’s going to The Kid LAROI just in general for both “WITHOUT YOU” and “ALWAYS DO”, with the latter only being slightly more tolerable. I guess I can give the Dishonourable Mention to Giggs as well for whatever “Buff Baddies” is. Sigh... here’s this terrible week’s top 10.

Thank you for reading my uncharacteristically cynical and just mean ramblings on pop music this week. You can follow me @cactusinthebank on Twitter, I promise I’m not as angry on there. See you next week for hopefully something better than this.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/02/2020

This’ll either be a long episode, a very confusing one, or both. We have nine new arrivals, which might actually be our most ever, although it’s probably tied with one from last year unless we had something ridiculous like twelve new arrivals. Let’s just get this over with.

Top 10

First of all, celebrating its second week at #1, we have “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd stable since last week at the top spot. I love this song, so I’m definitely glad to see it here.

Speaking of songs I love, “The Box” by Roddy Ricch isn’t moving either at number-two.

In fact, much like most of our busy weeks, the top 10 doesn’t necessarily reflect that, as with some exceptions, there’s nothing of note to speak of here. “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi is stable at number-three.

The number-four spot has also stabilised; “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa is there, and doesn’t seem to have any competition.

Neither does “Godzilla” by Eminem featuring the late Juice WRLD, unfortunately, at number-five.

Up two spots to number-six for whatever reason is “Life is Good” by Drake, then Future – this might rebound even higher next week due to a DaBaby remix.

“Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is down a spot to number-seven, but it’ll be back in the top five once the BRITs have their impact. Delightful.

Our big story in the top 10 is the 13-space boost for “Roses” up to number-eight, meaning it’s Saint Jhn’s first ever top 10 single in the UK, and, yeah, sure, we’ll give Imanbek credit for that too, since his unauthorised house remix really blew it up all over Europe. Hence, I’m pretty sure this is the first Kazakh lead artist on a UK Top 10 single, and that’s pretty epic.

Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is down two spots to number-nine.

And finally, to round off our top 10, is the non-mover, “Adore You” by Harry Styles.

Climbers

To my surprise, we do actually have a few notable climbers, and a lot more than I expected at that. First, there’s “You should be sad” by Halsey up five spaces to #12, making a pretty unexpected play for the top 10. There’s also “Lonely” by Joel Corry up 14 spaces to #16 off of the debut, and “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez inexplicably moving up six spots to #21. Maybe in the wake of a Justin Bieber album, there’s some stan revenge streaming? It’s a stretch but that’s honestly my only explanation other than it making another, more organic chart run. I do have a reason for Jonas Brothers and the nine-spot boost for “What a Man Gotta Do”: the second video as well as the One Show performance, which is still something millions of people watch here in the UK. “Better Off Without You” by Becky Hill and Shift K3y is up 12 to #24 off of the debut and finally, “Say So” by Doja Cat is up 10 spots to #25 also off of the debut (Not complaining about that one).

Fallers

There were some pretty massive fallers this week but also not actually that many that were notable, and definitely ones that demonstrate a transition period between Winter 2019/2020 and Spring 2020, but these are also mostly hip-hop and rap, hence can be explained by streaming cuts, an arbitrary UK chart rule that affects nearly exclusively one genre for the most part. That’s not the case for all of them though; “Wake Up Call” by KSI featuring Trippie Redd is down 17 spaces to #28 because it’s a song by a YouTuber, and hence usually a bit crap. The rule did affect, however, “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas, down 24 spaces to #33, and “Memories” by Maroon 5, an exception to the rule seemingly, down 23 spots to #39.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There were a hell of a lot of dropouts and actually two returning entries, for once. All of these dropouts don’t seem like they’re going to gain much traction after this week, and if they do, it’ll probably be some kind of fluke or special event that gets them back up there. I can see about three or four of these returning to the dregs of the top 40, but otherwise this seems to be the end of the line for most of these. “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #15, “Pump it Up” by DJ Endor is out from #23, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill is out from #25, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson is out from #26, “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean ends its second run out from #29, “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen is out from #32, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is out from #34, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is out for what must be the fourth time from #37, “Those Kinda Nights” by Eminem featuring Ed Sheeran is thankfully out from #38, “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy is temporarily out from #39 but the BRITs will probably pick this one up and boost its numbers, and finally, “Big Conspiracy” by J Hus featuring iceé tgm is out from #40. The other two J Hus songs are somehow still in the top 40.

The two returning entries are, firstly, “Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi returning at #30, seemingly in a trade with “Bruises”, because, I guess two Capaldi songs in the top 10 isn’t enough. The second is “Pee Pee” by M Huncho at #40, and I just love how stupid that song is. It’s actually a pretty fun and arguably good song, but I also have so many questions about it, like why the album it’s from is called Huncholini the 1st. I’m glad to see it back here though. Anyway, before we get to the new arrivals, here are some songs below the top 40 that I could see getting here in a couple weeks, if that. Not all of them are good, not all of them are bad. We have “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo at #72, “No Judgement” at Niall Horan at #70, “Yikes” by Nicki Minaj at #69, “No Shame” by 5 Seconds of Summer at #68, “What if I Told You that I Love You” by Ali Gatie at #63, “Charades” by Headie One and Fred Again at #57, “Stop this Flame” by Celeste at #56, “Staqdo” by MoStack at #54, “Mya Mills” by Lil Pino at #50, “Run” by Joji at #46, “High Fashion” by Roddy Ricch and Mustard at #45, and finally, “Ourself” by NSG at #43. Now, for our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#38 – “Ballin’” – Mustard and Roddy Ricch

Produced by Mustard, Justus West and Gylttrip

Okay, so this is a song I’ve been predicting would breach the top 40 for ages, mostly because it’s already been a massive hit in 2019 for the US, and hence is on my list of the best hit songs of 2019, which will probably be the last of one of those lists that I actually do. It’s #14, so it’s not that high, but I feel like I should talk more in-depth there since the list’ll be out as soon as possible, probably this month. It’s Mustard’s first UK Top 40 hit as a lead artist (Congratulations) and Roddy Ricch’s second – I love this song, we’ll talk about it more another day, that’s all.

#37 – “Suicidal” – YNW Melly

Produced by Z3n

Okay, so let me explain: Yes, YNW Melly, real name Jamell Demons (Fitting name by the way), is still in prison facing murder charges. This is the third album he’s released behind bars, obviously the others were released while he was incarcerated for less serious offenses, but it’s not exactly a new concept and hey, the label aren’t milking his death, at least, although they are milking the murder of two other people, so I guess that point’s out the window. It’s not impossible to make an album from prison but they’re probably just taking snippets of his SoundCloud stuff or unreleased demos and re-releasing it as new content. This is his second UK Top 40 hit after “Murder on My Mind” – if you go by just his song titles, this man is guilty as all hell – and well, it was never going to be any good, was it? The dull piano-lead trap beat isn’t emotive at all, and with the disruptive producer tags and clipping bass, as well as the generic emo guitar, it just feels emotionless, which is awful for a song called “Suicidal”, and YNW Melly is actually giving it all trying to replicate a typical emo-pop song with his voice that I actually love hearing most of the time, especially when it’s drowned in Auto-Tune like this; the vocal track here, despite oddly mixed, would sound great in isolation. Sadly, this beat is so boring, and he goes off topic so many times, with his structure-less flow and monotonous rambling about how he’s got his bag now and everyone’s wishing bad on him now (Probably because he’s facing murder charges)... yeah, this just does nothing for me, and it’s clearly an immature attempt at making a deep, powerful break-up song, even with some of the most pathetic inflections I’ve heard from the man in that “I’m drinkin’ Hennessey” bridge, as well as his heartbreak ending up being as deep as “I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid bitch”. Yeah, no, this is not great at all, and way too long, by the way.

#36 – “Birthday” – Anne-Marie

Produced by Oak

So, if you forgot who Anne-Marie was, first of all I don’t blame you because so did I, but second of all, she’s a pop songstress who often hops on dancehall or house beats with a voice and delivery that treads the line between indie-girl mumble mouth and a fake Caribbean accent. This is the lead single from her second album, that actually debuted dangerously low—seriously, this is looking like it’s prepared for a sophomore slump ala Camila Cabello’s Romance late last year, although admittedly Anne-Marie’s chart presence, whilst seemingly omnipresent in 2018 and early 2019, has dwindled considerably. This is her tenth UK Top 40 hit, and well, I don’t exactly know what to expect but I’m guessing some fluffy, vaguely tropical dance-pop tune, but it could be a ballad for all I know. It doesn’t look like I’m too far off, but this one is particularly obnoxious, with a dated, beeping synth tone acting as the main melody, an aggravatingly static hi-hat pattern, a messy and out-of-place drum beat that sounds straight out of a shit Flume rip-off, some of Anne-Marie’s most obnoxious Auto-Tuned vocal inflections (And some of her most Kehlani-like, may I add), and vocal mixing that is questionably lower than the drums in the pre-chorus, even though they’re clearly not backing vocals. The chorus is hilariously trite, saying, “Goddamn, it’s my birthday”, and that people should give her money because it’s her birthday. Basically, it’s about a spoiled teenager on her 16th birthday being all rebellious and edgy to spite their parents but without any actual emotion or passion, and instead some pathetic vocal runs and disgusting, cluttered instrumentation... actually, that would describe a teenage birthday party pretty well. The little chuckle at the end in place of an outro is also really cringe worthy. What an awful song – it’s been a while since we’ve had a hit here that seems fundamentally broken, but this gets pretty close.

#34 – “Know Your Worth” – Khalid and Disclosure

Produced by Disclosure

R&B singer Khalid and EDM group Disclosure, two acts I happen to be very fond of whenever they appear on this show, have collaborated for the second time since 2019’s “Talk”, a song which I love but won’t be making an appearance on my best list for that year for one simple reason that’ll seem obvious once you read that list. This collaboration doesn’t seem to be for an album, though, and is instead an advert for Levi’s jeans. Nice. It’s Khalid’s thirteenth and Disclosure’s sixth (ironically excluding “Talk” as they weren’t properly credited as lead artist) UK Top 40 hit, and it sure is a Disclosure song, with their more modern EDM touches they’ve been picking up recently in productions like the aforementioned “Talk” and Mac Miller’s “Blue World”, but with some really sweet steel pans, the same stilted groove they’re known for, a quirky collection of beeping synths and a familiar yelling vocal sample that I can’t find the original source for anywhere. Khalid rides on the instrumental pretty nicely and smoothly but this really isn’t anything special, with the lyrics mostly being some kind of general motivation or self-empowerment, mostly directed towards a girl whose significant other doesn’t exactly treat her like she is worth, apparently to Khalid. I think Shawn Mendes is rubbing off on you, mate.

#32 – “London” – M24 featuring Tion Wayne

Produced by ETS

Hey, Tion Wayne! I like this dude a lot, and I was thinking about him a couple days ago, thinking that he’d had his time up on the charts, but he seems to be back with M24, another British rapper, for this new single. Tion Wayne is one of the main reasons “Options” by NSG is one of my most-listened songs of last year, and has since delivered excellent verses on “Bally” with the equally charismatic Swarmz and tried to lighten up the amazingly dull “Keisha & Becky” by Russ splash, who has since changed his name because of course he has. It’s safe to say he’s one of my favourite of the recent crop of London rappers, simply because of how fun his cadences can be. I was surprised when I saw him on a sharp black-and-white cover art with a song about London, which I assumed would be about the struggles of gang violence and poverty that Tion Wayne has since risen above, but instead, for his fourth UK Top 40 hit and M24’s first ever, we have a chorus that goes, “That gyal wan’ shock, one eye on her arse like, “Holy f***”, look at the arch, you know I buss, back up the arse like uh-uh”. That’s actually about what I expected from Tion Wayne to be honest. Looking back on all those songs that I mentioned, especially “Bally”, it has interesting, eccentric, exciting and energetic cadences, as well as some upbeat production that is sourly missing from people like Aitch and DigDat. That’s why while I was slightly disappointed by the more minimalist, dull, colourless drill production, which honestly actually kind of bangs, I was welcomed by Tion Wayne’s hilarious hook, especially the “UH UH” ad-lib, and his injections of humour into the verses, which M24 tries as well. Both M24’s more aggressive stuttering delivery and Tion Wayne’s more carefree flow work for this beat (which is unfitting for a song that’s supposed to be about attractive women by the way; this is in no way sexy), with Tion Wayne’s first verse seemingly carrying the theme of “beef”, and he likes a fight in prison because it’s “beef in a cell”... “like Beyoncé”? Huh? He kind of gets away with it though, as the next line is even funnier; his gun is like his roll-on deodorant because it doesn’t leave shells. He shouts out his designer-brand boxers then says that he will fight a man for his phone charger. You get why I like this dude, right? He’s kind of absurd. M24 and Tion Wayne trade bars on the second verse, with M24 even lightening up to say that his sex is so good that his groupies try to invite their mother. Lovely. They also share some clever worldplay about “ye” (drugs) and Kanye, both comparing themselves to Kim Kardashian in the process. All this is without overstaying its welcome, by the way, it’s less than three minutes. Wayne then, for a final few bars, adopts the “A$AP Forever” flow to shout out basically every woman in England, as well as saying this:

I f*** your girl from the back / I put my block on the map

These two events (hopefully) have no relation to each other, like at all. Never change, Tion Wayne.

#31 – “Destined for Greatness” – Tobi & Manny featuring Janelle

Produced by Krunchie and Zdot

I knew this was going to be a tricky one once I realised that I know more about the producers than I do about any of the three primary vocalists here. Krunchie and Zdot are responsible for much of Bugzy Malone’s discography, especially the older stuff. Anyway, this is the first UK Top 40 hit for Tobi & Manny, a duo much like Young T & Bugsey or Krept and Konan made of two members or affiliates of the Sidemen, namely: Tobi and Manny, two brothers that joined KSI’s group of YouTubers, rappers, entertainers, FIFA players, what have you. They teamed up with their sister Janelle, who actually contributes very little to the song, no more than a short intro and backing vocals, for a kid-friendly motivational anthem – on a dark, menacing beat. Of course. Yeah, this is pathetic. Both Tobi and Manny have no interesting bars, and whilst it is mostly a story-telling song, there isn’t any passion in their voices about their come-up, so why should I care? Janelle doesn’t exist, and if she does, she’s annoying, joining in on the bland hook for a somewhat colourful addition to the shitty non-entities of Tobi and Manny, both of whom are just phoning it in, but I feel like this is them trying to be their best, to be honest. This is just corny, and aggravatingly so, with a boring beat to boot. I have no idea how this debuted this high, when it is this painfully amateur. “We’re controlling the game like Nintendo Wii”? Give me a break. Oh, and I listened to Tobi’s only other official single as part of the Sidemen on “The Gift”, and somehow he had the best verse.

#29 – “React” – The Pussycat Dolls

Produced by Will Simms, Johan Gustafson and Ivares

The Pussycat Dolls were a girl group formed in the 2000s, who were reasonably  big worldwide and massive here in the UK. They weren’t made by a British talent show, but they were similarly generic and basically just the sexier alternative to the more teeny-bopper groups, and hence I guess were made more for boys than they were for girls, in that respect, but even for today, despite being produced and directed by men for men and presented consistently in an awfully objectifying manner, they have kept that “girl power” schtick. You may know them for “Don’t Cha”, “Buttons”, “Beep”, “I Hate This Part”, whatever, they’re all garbage. After the group split only lead singer Nicole Sherzinger retained relevance and officially made the only good song tangentially related to the Dolls, with her (originally uncredited) feature on “Club Can’t Handle Me” by Flo Rida and David Guetta. I mean, it’s a low bar that you’d think they’d be able to ascend, but I can’t think of a single song from the Dolls that is better. Anyway, they’re all in their 40s now, and they’ve reunited for their eleventh UK Top 40 hit (and their first since 2010’s “Hush Hush, Hush Hush” peaked at #17), with massive comeback, television debut, high-budget music video and... a chart debut at #29. Yikes. Well, the Dolls were always dancers rather than singers, so people won’t purchase the single in the streaming era where you can choose what to listen to and you’re not having songs pushed down your throat by radio stations incessant label promotion (Well, at least not most of the time, Drake). I think the only reason the song is even in the top 40 at all is that the UK Singles Chart decided three years ago that YouTube streams counted for the chart. Listen, the song is manufactured plastic dance-pop that’s worth no-one’s time, with even the most distinct voice in the band, Scherzinger, sounding like a vocaloid. The chorus is a massive rip-off of the melody from the verses of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “I Really Like You”, by the way. Once I heard that, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Jepsen’s song is actually good, by the way.

#27 – “Power Over Me” – Dermot Kennedy

Produced by Koz

Remember “Outnumbered”? That was a pretty decent folk-trap hit, right? Well, Dermot Kennedy is back for his second UK Top 40 single, which was actually released far before his breakout hit but is getting the push now, “Power Over Me”, originally released in 2018. Now, it’s basically the same concept: Irish dude croons and belts over a guitar-lead pop song... but this isn’t a ballad, and instead has a real kick to it, figuratively and literally, but very little groove. The song isn’t bad at all, and I love the concept of a song of not him having the power in this relationship, but him finding himself subservient to this girl, who he paints as some kind of deity figure, and it’s convincing. God, I love how the drums sound in this song. The humming in the pre-chorus is just so sonically pleasing as well. The belting in the bridge and the mesh of guitar, on the other hand, isn’t really, but damn, the strings in the final chorus are genuinely gorgeous, and it’s catchy as hell, so for a good folk-rock love song, yeah, I can vouch for this one. There’s a MEDUZA house remix to this that hilariously misses the point of this song but sounds crazy good doing it, and might be a bit better than the original, if just for the blend of 80s post-disco and 16-bit chiptune bass in the drop. Either way, this is a good song, and reminds me kind of 2000s alt-rock, as did “Outnumbered”, to be honest. Maybe I should check out that debut self-titled album.

#14 – “Intentions” – Justin Bieber featuring Quavo

Produced by Poo Bear and the Audibles

This is the most 2016-sounding song that was released after 2017, and that’s just off the title alone. You guys want to add Chance the Rapper while you’re at it? God, what an anti-climactic end to our new arrivals. Justin Bieber and Quavo. I cannot imagine a blander, less interesting duo than Justin Bieber and Quavo. I think I’ve lived approximately five Quavo verses ever, the dude is so non-descript compared to the rest of the Migos, especially Offset, who, to be honest, I’ve become quite a fan of in recent months. It’s Bieber’s 46th UK Top 40 hit or something to that effect, and Quavo’s seventh but who cares, honestly? Who is listening to Bieber out of passion for his music or voice or whatever? Only his biggest, most loyal fans. The general public who casually listen to Bieber are listening more out of morbid curiosity than anything else, and for someone who seemed like the biggest star in the world at some point, that’s just depressing. Yeah, I have nothing else to say, and I’ll continue to ignore actually reviewing this dude’s songs, even once the album bomb comes next week, if it even does. I think the “(feat. Lil Dicky)” song might be even more dreadfully embarrassing than the “(feat. Quavo)”, actually.

Conclusion

All things considered, this was a below-average week but I had a lot of fun reviewing these songs, so at least most of them were interestingly bad or had intriguing stories behind them. Even if I didn’t review it, the Best of the Week is still going to “Ballin’” by Mustard and Roddy Ricch, with Honourable Mention probably being a toss-up between “London” by M24 featuring Tion Wayne, and “Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy. The Worst of the Week is undoubtedly “Birthday” by Anne-Marie, with “Destined for Greatness” by whoever that was by picking up the Dishonourable Mention. This could be one of two or three big weeks on the horizon, so watch out for that and follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for my real-time reactions to said weeks, and more pop music ramblings. Thank you for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020