#so sorry i can’t have one healthy relationship in my story/hj

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

you would think josh and adele are the more calmer couple. yeah they have arguments but you know pretty chill compared to jadele. i’m lying through my teeth rn/hj

[sage-warrior-cats]

A STARLESS CLAN: RIVER REVIEW

‼️SPOILERS‼️

TW: Depression, Self-Depreciation, Self-harm mention, S*icide mention

I READ THE BOOK IN ONE NIGHT

first of all. I fucking called it. Mistystar dies? Check. Reedwhisker dies? Check. Now my bet/hope was Minnowtail, BUT, I *ALWAYS* liked curlfeather for a reason! And the fact that she was such a good mother to her kits- *chef’s kiss* I really hoped for her. I had a feeling they wouldn’t let Leafstar be the only she-cat leader. like . I dunno. But there’s still a chance for the Minnowtail fans out there!

Sunbeam’s character is so good. I was so so happy we were staring off a series with a good, healthy, loving relationship, and her dynamic with Lightleap was so frustrating, yet charming at the beginning.

Lightleap having this reckless, stubborn personality is honestly really unique for Warriors. Now, this might be going a bit too far, but her behavior resembles someone who’s severely mentally unwell. Like major depression. Not caring if she lives or dies because she’s so unhappy and guilt ridden. I can’t say for everyone, but this really, really hit home for me, as someone who was self deprecating and suicidal at one point. It wasn’t making an attempt, it was like a passive thing, doing nothing to take care of yourself and letting your self widdle away slowly, to punish yourself. It’s heartbreaking. Again, mental illness(es) and their experiences are unique for everyone, but this behavior is one that I’ve experienced firsthand, so I’m sorry if this rubs anyone the wrong way.

Sunbeam is very nice and she loves her probably boyfriend, Blazefire. She loves her best friend, Tigerstar 8 or whatever, Lightleap. Sunbeam gets injured because of Lightleap’s actions, and when sunbeam tells the truth, as one should, she gets in trouble. Sunbeam is confused and angry and very upset when Lightleap doesn’t forgive her. Lightleap then continues to be a terrible friend by whisking Blazefire away from Sunbeam after she recovers from the injury Lightleap caused. Blazefire and Lightleap hang out and due to Lightleap’s actions, Blazefire is injured. This time, Lightleap has broken his leg. Sunbeam comforts him- which by the way Lightleap did NOT do to Sunbeam OR Blazefire- and Blazefire suddenly changes his mind about loving Sunbeam. Now, it IS suspicious that this has happened after he and Lightleap have been hanging out, and Blaze and Lightleap deny having feelings for each other, but it could just be.. Blazefire has been thinking this through and it has nothing to do with Lightleap, as far as we know.

Also Sunbeam does NOT know it but she heard Reedwhisker die, so thats fucked up and interesting(from the story’s perspective.)

Blazefire and the other Church cats (from tigerheart’s shadow) are some that definitely needed expanding on, and this has delivered. He’s kind and goofy, and reckless. Not reckless in a really really dangerous way like Lightleap, but reckless as in he wasn’t thinking too clearly? If that makes sense. Clearly-to me- Lightleap really egged him on, and thats why he went into the collapsing burrow.

Frostpaw.. love her.. she’s been through a lot. The code changes, her mentor can’t teach her about StarClan, everyone doubts her, and suddenly- leader: dead. deputy: missing. Deputy: found dead. Frostpaw: given a sign best she-cat Curlfeather is leader. Mothwing: Doubts. The sign: its real. Curlstar pls. Then suddenly: dogs. BOOM. Best she-cat: dead. Riverclan: fucked.

I do think Sunbeam and Nightheart will become friends at least. Knowing the year-long clichés latest trends, they’ll get together in some capacity.

Lastly, i will not be forgiving berryheart 🍇🫀 /hj

Lets get on to

Hopes And Predictions

Hope: Nightheart goes to Shadowclan. Or riverclan!

Prediction: Nightheart and Sunbeam do the love and one moves to the other’s clan

Hope: Minnowstar. Mousewhisker goes to join her in riverclan.

Crazy headcanon that’s probably WAY off: Lightleap will eventually go to the dark forest

Prediction: Frostpaw gets her warrior name. Frostmoth, Frostpool, Frostsight, Frostfeather, Froststep(?)

[kettlewrites]

break my heart again — hjs

summary: when time passes, did the time just change or did we as well? (part two for where is the love?)

warning: angst, pisces energy and obviously feelies because you’ll walk out of this fic hating someone. [also in my usual au format bc my braincell can’t function enough to write regularly] 2.1K WORDS

autumn. the time when the leaves start to change colors and the days begin to get shorter

autumn, the season that han jisung held dearly to his heart and memories.

autumn, the time when he had fallen for you all those years ago

the memories of the golden trees and the brisk, cool nights reminded him of you

even if it had been several years,, the season had always taken him back to the fondest moments in his life. the moments in his life he had spent cherishing while still trying to get over you

“it’s not healthy to keep doing that jisung.” seungmin sighs, trying to beg jisung to stay at home

“it’s a tradition.” the older one would argue back, “it’s a routine to me, no feelings or anything.”

“doesn’t mean you should continue to do it… it’s been five years already.”

“almost five years.” jisung corrects before opening the door, “i’ll be fine.”

the air was chilly against jisung’s warm skin, his nose turning a soft pink during the walk down to that old music store

at first it was a way to get over you,, after you had broken up with him

he would frequent the store in hopes of trying to salvage those old memories he held,, afraid that they would disappear like the feelings you had for him

but then it turned into a routine,, one that made him feel incomplete if he had skipped it. he always had to go to the store on the first day of autumn

maybe it was because in the back of his mind he was in the hopes he would see you,, or it was the hopes that he could find love in the magical music store again

but every year it was the same,, he would spend hours browsing up and down the familiar aisles before taking himself home to let that empty feeling in his chest take over

however this year had been different

jisung entered the store,, his feet taking him to the aisle where he used to spend his breaks with you just listening to music

he browsed the new selections,, picking them and making his assessments on them before he felt a cd drop in front of him,, right between his legs causing him to look down at the floor

“i’m so sorry!” that familiar voice rang in his ears,, he was in total disbelief not wanting to look up because his heart would be crushed if his instincts were wrong

but he wasn’t

when he looked back up to hand the cd back,, his eyes were met with yours

his entire world stopped spinning,, those eyes he fell in love with were right in front of him

“y/n.” the name was nearly foreign to him,, yet still had it’s way of sliding off of his tongue like nothing ever happened between the two of you

“jisung.” your breath was caught in the middle of your chest,, somehow seeing his face again made you feel so at home

it had been five years since you’ve broken up with him in that cafe,, totally breaking his heart,,granted yours as well,, and cutting him off completely

you never looked back,, afraid that one day this would happen

and it was happening

you were face to face with the boy you spent an entire year crying over

“it’s been a while,” he smiles lightly, “i think this was yours.”

you apologize softly, taking the cd from his hand. you nod to his statement, it had been a while,, perhaps for a good reason

the both of you stood in an awkward silence,, although not uncomfortable,, almost soothing to be in front of each other like this

“what are you here for?” he asks, leaning against the display, knowing fully well of the rule against it

“just shopping around. i had to buy something for a friend.” you reply, showing off the other albums in your hand, “nothing much,, kind of like the reason why i met you in the first place.”

it made jisung’s heart skip a beat when he heard you joking the past,, it was almost like he was falling in love with you all over again

almost,, as if he never stopped in the first place

the two of you continued to make small talk,, asking about each other’s lives after splitting

it was enjoyable to be able to talk to each other again,, like before,, almost as if nothing had happened between the two of you

you could feel the pain in your heart,, it was faint but you knew that you had missed him

of course you did,, it would be a lie if you hadn’t missed someone you had grown with

and jisung could say the same

although he was in a completely different situation,, he felt his heart parachute off a cliff for you all over again

the way your eyes had a new sparkle in them,, the way you still laughed the same

it made him believe that maybe seungmin was right,, maybe it hadn’t been healthy for him to do this routine,, seeing as he hadn’t fully healed from the break up

as jisung was about to ask you about your current love life,, wholeheartedly expecting for you to say that you weren’t seeing anyone,, another familiar face shows up

the familiar person’s,, yet now stranger,, arm snaking his way around your waist and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck causing you to squirm around

something,, that jisung had done with you before

jisung watched in silence,, trying to take everything that was happening in

after what seemed to be a century,, however only about a minute or so,, jisung cleared his throat to announce that he was still in presence of the two of you

the stranger,,parts away from your body smiling at you with all the love in the world in his eyes before looking over to the one who made a noise

“oh,, hey jisung.” the taller one greeted, “it’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“yeah,, it has hyunjin.” the younger said with a forced smile

you could sense the tension between the two guys,, it made you uncomfortable to feel the thick atmosphere around you

“hey, why don’t you go purchase this? i think he wanted a poster to go with it.. i saw some over there.” you turn to say to hyunjin, who obediently nodded his head and went to the other direction

not before saying that he’d wait for you outside so that the two of you could finish catching up

because hyunjin knew that it was something you both needed

you turned back to face jisung,, who was facing the floor, the tips of his ears poking out from his hair that were already bright red

“so when did that start? you and him?” jisung’s tone had darkened completely,, almost as if he was upset with you

did he have the right to be upset? it wasn’t like you cheated on him,, you both were already broken up when you and hyunjin had gotten together

“a year after we split.” your voice had turned to almost a whisper, “i didn’t think it would happen-”

“you told me he was your best friend and i believed you.” his eyes started to let the tears stream down his face, “a year? you got over the two years we spent together that quickly?”

“jisung-”

“then it’s with him. it would’ve been a different story if it was a complete stranger, but to break up with me then go date your best friend a year later? for four years?”

jisung wouldn’t allow you to speak,, his anger had taken control of his heart and blinded his brain

all he did was continue to spit at you with his anger

“maybe you had feelings for him the entire time, didn’t you? is that why you broke up with me? did you even love me?”

“han jisung!” you hadn’t raised your voice with him in so long,, it reminded you of the months before you broke up with him

“stop.” you plead with him, “let me explain.”

your hands were shaking as you plead with him,, you couldn’t believe this was happening in the music store

just like it did before countless of other times

“fine.” he finally settled down,, although he was acting quite stubborn to actually listen to you

“hyunjin and i got together naturally.. after spending so much time together after our break up. i was broken and he helped me heal.” you start with a breath, “i never thought of him as more than a friend until a year after we broke up. so no, i didn’t have feelings for him during us. i can’t believe you would think i would ever do that to you jisung.”

you tried to shake your mind from the thoughts but you had to ask him,, or else it wouldn’t eaten at you for the rest of the day

“did you have doubts of me,,, the entire relationship?” your voice was shaking, you wanted to cry as well

your heart had twisted and turned inside your chest,, did he truly go the two years doubting your faithfulness to him?

“i didn’t mean for it to come out-”

“answer me jisung. did you not trust me?” the tears pool in your eyes,, your vision blurring before you blinked allowing them to rush down your face

“i.. did. i trusted you.” you heard the uncertainty in his voice, this was what broke your heart but you felt that this was the end of the conversation

as if the two of you continued,, it would just turn back into the months you both spent arguing back and forth over nonsense

“hey i’m sorry,, i overreacted.” he rushes to say,, afraid of hurting you

but he already did. he opened a new perspective for you,, that you didn’t even knew existed and maybe you didn’t want to know existed especially not five years later

“maybe it was better off with us not,,, seeing each other anymore.” you mumble, your voice shaking and your chest feeling completely hollow

“don’t say that y/n.” jisung begs

“look at us jisung. we weren’t meant to be.” you say with one final look at him

the boy who used to hold your heart in the palms of his hands,, the boy who took your breath away with one look into his eyes,, the boy who had you swept off the floor

who now became the boy who only made you cry and hurt

jisung tried to say another word,, but you had already walked away not wanting to turn back to hurt yourself more.

leaving jisung to realize his mistakes in the aisle of the music store.

“hey,, what happened in there?” hyunjin asks, noticing your newly quiet demeanor, “everything okay babe?”

you didn’t speak a word until you made it home, not wanting to break down in public again

the moment you stepped into your house,, that’s when you felt the weight of the world crash onto you

the load of the words pressing against your shoulders,, you couldn’t help but to start sobbing.

which causes hyunjin to quickly react,, and dropped his things to hold you

your tears causing him to cry along with you,, one thing that jisung didn’t do before

“he thought,, i didn’t love him at all.” you sobbed into hyunjin’s chest, “as if those two years meant nothing to me. as if i didn’t spend an entire year fighting myself from contacting him. as if i didn’t constantly blame myself for breaking his heart.”

you tried to collect yourself, but the harder you tried the more difficult it became

“as if i don’t call seungmin every year to secretly send him a birthday gift. as if i don’t call felix to see if he’s doing okay. it hurts hyunjin. it hurts so bad.”

and as you sobbed,, the pain had grown,, the pain of the wound that slowly opened itself again.

hyunjin held you in silence, rocking you back and forth as an attempt to calm you down

“it feels like my heart just broke all over again.”

and this time,, it wasn’t your fault. yet you still blamed yourself for it.