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cleo-fox · 11 months ago

Text

Daylight

Summary: Despite your best efforts, Sunday morning doesn’t go as planned…and you couldn’t be happier about it.

Pairings: Loki x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, shower sex, fingering, vaginal sex, soft sex, sex that causes you to be several hours late for work, Loki being a (respectful) horn dog.

Series: Overtime (I don't have a masterlist for this yet, but the first fic is here). A/N: This started out as a scene in Overtime that kind of took on a life of its own. You don't necessarily need to read Overtime in order to enjoy or understand this fic, but you'll have more context if you do. Anyway, it was fun revisiting these two idiots--I've got a few more ideas for them up my sleeve, so there will be more in this series at some point.

The sunlight wakes you the next morning.

It’s the same sunlight as always, but it looks different coming through Loki’s window and streaming across his bed. It looks better, you think, splashed across his sheets.

Or maybe it’s the addition of your hand clasped with his resting on those same sheets. Or perhaps it’s the sight of your clothes and his, discarded on the bedroom floor in a pool of sunlight, combined with the fact that you’re still wrapped in his arms. Maybe all of that is why it seems better.

That seems more likely.

You lie still for a moment, simply enjoying the feeling of his arms and the heat of his skin against your bare back. You are reasonably certain he’s asleep from the steady rhythm of his breath on your neck, but you’re not about to disturb the sleepy calm of the morning to confirm that.

The clock on his bedside table says it’s just after six. Before last night, you would have said that this was a reasonable time to get up—early enough to ensure that you’re in the office by eight, which would hopefully give you enough time to meet this evening’s deadline, but not so early that it makes you question your life and your choices.

But that was before. Now…well. You suddenly find that your priorities look very different from the comfort of Loki’s bed.

You decide that you didn’t really see the clock. Neither one of you thought to set an alarm last night. Sleeping in was inevitable. That’s not your fault. No harm, no foul.

You close your eyes and allow yourself to fall into a light doze, warmed by the sunlight and Loki’s embrace.

Sometime later, you’re woken by the soft brush of a kiss against your neck.

“Did you sleep well?” he murmurs against your neck.

“Yes, though I did have a bit of a late night,” you say. “Someone kept me up.”

“Really? That was rude of him.”

“Very.”

He’s noticeably—achingly—hard. His lips brush against your neck again. “Perhaps he might make it up to you?”

Your intention is to open your eyes, roll over, and allow yourself to be ravished. But in a development you can only describe as tragic, you happen to catch sight of the clock on his nightstand.

7:38 am.

“Shit,” you say. “It’s almost eight.”

Loki is predictably unconcerned about this. “We don’t have any official hours to keep,” he says, his hand skimming along your ribs and down the curve of your waist. “We have all day.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got a ton more to do,” you say, trying to ignore how good he is at kissing your neck or how his hand is drifting down your hip toward the aching pulse between your legs. “We really need every minute.”

“That is true,” he says solemnly. “Perhaps we ought shower together to save time.”

You can’t help but smile. “I kind of feel like you have another agenda.”

“I’d never,” he says.

“The raging hard on pressing against my ass would suggest otherwise.”

You can almost hear him smirk as he gives his hips a teasing little thrust against you. “I contain multitudes.”

You wiggle out of his embrace and slip out of bed. You intend to look back and give him a coquettish look and say something sharp and teasing, but instead, the sight of him takes your breath away. He leans back on his elbows, looking everything like the sort of lounging god you would see depicted in marble at the Parthenon, all chiseled, sharp muscles and clean lines. His cock stands fully erect and deliciously thick, flushed with wanting.

“I can’t help but notice that you didn’t reject the offer,” he says, seemingly fully aware of the path of your gaze. His hand drops to his cock and he strokes himself casually, which very nearly sends your sprinting back to bed.

“You’re right,” you say, trying to keep your cool as you throw him your most beguiling look. “So you should probably hurry up.”

You turn and start walking toward the master bathroom. You don’t need to look over your shoulder to know he’s following you, his gaze hungrily devouring every inch of skin, eyes dark with purpose.

You walk into the master bathroom and are immediately confronted by several flagrant violations of the residential handbook. The TVA is many things, but it is not the sort of place that deviates from set floor plans, nor is it the sort of place that deviates from those plans to install a rainfall shower and soaking tub—in marble, no less.

You think of the stark, vaguely institutional aesthetic in your own master bath and you can’t decide if you’re annoyed at his rule breaking or jealous that he could get away with it.

“I’m not even going to ask if you got approval for this setup because I know you didn’t,” you say as you reach in to the shower to turn on the tap.

“Do you think of anything other than that cursed personnel manual?” he asks as he comes up behind you, his arms snaking around your waist and his lips again finding your neck as he draws you to him.

“First of all, it’s not the personnel manual, it’s the residential handbook, which you specifically agreed to abide by when you signed off on your lease.”

He turns you around so you face him and draws you close, a wicked gleam in his eye, “Oh, I’m going to make you forget all about those ridiculous rules.”

“That’s a pretty tall order—oh.”

His hand is slipping between your legs, stroking your already slick folds.

“I think I’m quite capable of inspiring other passions,” he says, rolling his fingers in a broad circle over the hood of your clit

You loop your arms around his shoulders. You can already feel your knees starting to tremble, but you know he won’t let you fall.

“Bold claim,” you say, “I’m going to need more evidence.”

“Oh, you’re going to get a lot of evidence,” he says softly. He curls a finger inside of you, pressing his thumb against the hood of your clit. “You will have no doubts by the time I’m done presenting my argument. You will be weak-kneed with evidence.”

You shudder as he rocks his hand slowly. He’s touching you enough to stoke the flames of desire, making your hips rock helplessly toward his hand as you try to create that extra friction and pressure that you know will send you flying over the edge. But Loki is meticulous—perhaps even ruthless—about not giving in.

“Not yet,” he murmurs softly when your latest attempt is thwarted. “Slowly.”

Your pleas become louder and more frequent, but his answer remains the same: slowly. You whimper and beg, but he is resolute.

Steam has fogged up the mirrors and is curling around you when your orgasm finally begins to crest. You suddenly find yourself grateful for his pacing as the intensity builds to a level that makes your knees shake.

“That’s it,” he breathes as you tremble in his arms. “You can come for me now, lovely.”

Like magic, the coil inside you snaps at his command and you cry out as your cunt shudders around his slowly thrusting fingers. Your arms looped around his shoulders are the only thing keeping you standing.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss against your temple as you sag against him. “Beautiful.”

He gives you a moment to get your bearings before leading you into the shower. He sits down on the marble bench, spreading his thighs wide and pulling you into his lap so you straddle his hips. The spray of the water hits your back as he kisses you again, slow and hungry.

You love everything about this. The heat of the water on your back. The closeness. The way his thighs are spread wide. How his cock presses against your bare cunt. The noise he makes low in his throat when you start rubbing yourself against him.

“Need you,” he mumbles against your neck. His hands squeeze your hips and you reach between the two of you to line his cock up at your entrance.

It occurs to you that you could take the opportunity to tease him, to make him beg for you, but pretending that you have any control over your aching need for him is several degrees beyond impossible. So instead, you slowly ease yourself down onto his cock while he groans against your neck, dragging his lips down to the curve of your shoulder.

The feeling of him inside you is still so new that it feels just a little unreal. After all that wanting and yearning and thinking that he was too handsome, too divine, too out of reach to have, he’s suddenly yours and it’s absolutely dizzying.

You pause for a moment, eyes closed, savoring the feeling of unyielding fullness, of connection. Of him.

“All right?” he asks softly.

You open your eyes and his look of sweet concern makes your heart swell. “Yeah,” you say, a lazy, satisfied smile tugging at your lips. “I just—I needed a moment. You feel—” You pause for a moment, searching for the right words, sifting through the effusive and flowery and the things that are true but too early to say. “You just feel really good,” you say.

It sounds wildly inadequate, but he seems to understand, to hear all of the unsaid parts that you’re keeping close to your heart. He could turn away, say it’s too much too soon, that you haven’t even said what you are yet, much less committed to anything serious, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans forward, drawing you into a slow kiss, his hands framing your face, tracing the curve of your cheek and jaw with the kind of reverence that makes you want to say everything you feel.

“You’re perfect.” He says it in between breaths, with such a disarming sincerity that you can’t bring yourself to try and deflect, to name a flaw or even make a joke.

Later, he will tell you that he was struggling with a similar battle, trying to reconcile how new this was with the depth of feeling that was already blossoming in his chest. He will tell you later that he couldn’t believe you were his, just as you couldn’t believe he was yours, that there was something about you that felt right in a way that made him feel like he knew even then.

But right now, he simply kisses you with a fervor that makes your toes curl and your hips start to move.

It’s only the second time that you’ve done this, but there’s a strange blend of both the new and the familiar. The shape and feel of his body pressed against yours is new, but the way that he moves, the way that he touches you is as though he’s loved you for centuries.

The rhythm you fall into is slow, despite the excuse that this shower was to save time. His hand slides down your stomach, his fingers finding your clit to add another layer of bliss to the feeling of his cock inside you. Despite your slow pace, your ascent rushes in fast and brilliant as a comet blazing through the night sky. Your back arches, almost as though you’re presenting yourself as an offering to him as you come undone in his arms. Loki watches you with a kind of breathless wonder, brow furrowing in pleasure, his lower lip caught between his teeth at the tight clench of your cunt around his cock.

Your legs are rubbery with pleasure, but you keep going because you need his release as much as your own. You need to feel him empty himself inside of you, to hear the low groan he makes as he unravels, to see the way his eyes flutter shut. You want crescent moon marks on your hips from where his hands gripped you too tightly in that final ascent, physical proof that you can make not just a god forget himself, but Loki specifically. Loki with all his masks and tricks and artful poise; Loki laid bare below you, free from all artifice and glibness, raw and real and just as he is. All the parts of him that make you think that down this path lies something wonderful (not that you’re ready to call it love. Yet).

But Loki is nothing if not predictably unpredictable and he seems determined to make you work before granting you that little glimpse at the heaven that is the god of mischief coming undone beneath you.

“Let me feel you come again,” he murmurs as soon as you catch your breath.

“Is once not enough?” you say, trying and failing to sound cool and calm, like you’re not completely wrecked for him.

“Hardly.” His eyes flash in a way that makes you shiver as he urges your hips into a faster rhythm. “I am not so easily satisfied when my need has been so great.”

You can feel the coil in your hips beginning to tighten again.

“I’ve burned for you for years, my love,” he says, his voice going a little shaky. “Would you deny water to a man dying of thirst?”

You shake your head, your words lost to the oncoming wave of your undoing.

“Then do not deny me your pleasure, I am desperate for you.” He’s panting, barely holding on to his composure. “Now come for me again, let me feel you.”

You are so far gone that it only takes a few more strokes to make you come undone and the first shudder of your climax takes Loki with you.

You savor his pleasure more than your own release, memorizing the sound he makes, the way his lips form a silent plea in the shape of your name until he slides a hand up your neck and pulls you down to kiss him.

His kiss is fierce and hungry at first, but it ebbs to something slower and sweeter as he empties himself into you. He sighs as you tangle your fingers in the wet tendrils of his hair.

It’s a long moment later when you finally break the kiss, resting your forehead against his.

“I don’t think we saved any time,” you say.

He doesn’t even open his eyes. “I cannot overemphasize how much I do not care about being late in these circumstances.”

You grin. “Not even a little?”

He kisses you sweetly on the mouth before opening his eyes, his lips curling into a slow and satisfied smile. “I would be late every day for the rest of my life for just a few seconds of that.”

His words spark something warm in your chest and you try to hide it with a wry look. “I’m not sure that you’re getting the better end of the deal.”

He kisses you softly. “You don’t know how good you feel.”

“You’re one to talk,” you murmur against his lips and he smiles as he deepens the kiss.

The warmth of his body pressed against yours and the feeling of him smiling as he kisses you is a kind of luxury you’ve never imagined. It takes you a while to untangle yourselves, but you can’t find it in yourself to move any faster.

The actual showering part of your shower is slow and unhurried and you find that Loki’s hands are equally gifted at these mundane tasks. His fingers have a knack for finding every stubborn knot in your neck and shoulders, which he explores leisurely under the pretext of washing your back. The press of his fingers unwinds the tension in your shoulders, loosening up muscles that have been too tense for too long.

“You are way too good at this,” you say.

“Just one of my many talents,” he says, dropping a kiss on your shoulder. “Though perhaps I ought to stop—I wouldn’t want to make you late.”

“I’m so relaxed I’m going to ignore that little bit of sass.”

He chuckles against your shoulder. “You’ll forgive me.”

“We’ll see.”

The sweet, almost chaste kisses he’s been pressing against your neck and shoulders are gradually growing slower, more insistent. When you feel the tip of his tongue draw a quick, teasing line on your neck, you know that you might be in trouble.

His hands slide to your waist, drawing you close enough that you can feel that he’s hard again.

“I’m sensing some ulterior motives,” you say.

“A bold accusation,” he mumbles against your neck, pressing himself more firmly against you.

“We can’t have sex again,” you laugh.

“Mmm, we could,” he says in between kisses. “There’s nothing stopping us from having sex again.”

“We are already running late—”

“I thought I was very clear about my feelings on timeliness in these circumstances.” He nips at your earlobe and you shiver. “And would you really deprive me of the utter bliss of coming undone inside you?”

“It’s more like rescheduling than depriving you of anything.”

“I’ve waited so long, darling.”

“We just had sex like…less than an hour ago,” you say through a laugh.

“Ah, but the days before that were so terribly long,” he says.

You turn to face him, thinking this will make things easier for you. This turns out to be a grave miscalculation because now you have to contend with the fire in his eyes and the twin flame that it summons low in your hips.

Fuck.

You are definitely going to have sex again.

His eyes glitter like he knows and he slowly walks you backwards until you’re pressed between him and the shower wall.

“You are absolutely incorrigible,” you say as he peppers your neck with slow, decadent kisses. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“Funnily enough, I don’t think you’ll be complaining about my mouth in about thirty seconds.”

And with a wicked and hungry grin, he slowly sinks to his knees.

It’s 10:48am when you finally walk into the office.

Even though you are now several hours later than you intended and the stack of files is no less imposing, you feel nothing but a pleasant glow of happiness as you take your seat. Loki sits down in the chair next to you and this time, he sneaks his foot underneath your desk and hooks his ankle under yours.

He catches your eye and smiles. “I can be a little more obvious now.”

You put on your most exaggerated expression of mock seriousness. “Only a little. This is a workplace, after all.”

He adopts a similar expression and nods. “Of course. I imagine there will be paperwork as well.”

“There actually is a form we’ll need to file with HR,” you say.

Loki frowns. “Wait, you’re not being serious about that, are you?”

“Yep. We’ll need to file it by next Friday.”

He sighs and throws his hands up in the air. “Is there anything that this place hasn’t managed to weigh down with the burden of unnecessary bureaucracy?”

“I see we’re in a good mood this morning.” Mobius has arrived, cup of coffee in hand. He nods at Loki and looks at you. “How long has he been raging against the machine?”

“Not terribly long,” you say as Loki rolls his eyes.

“It’s not raging against anything,” he says. “I just fail to see the point of some of this organization’s operational practices.”

Mobius raises an eyebrow at you. “You told him he has to fill out a form, huh?”

“Got it in one,” you say as Loki scowls.

Mobius chuckles and takes a sip of coffee. “You should hear him during performance evaluation season. I get entire monologues. It’s like Hamlet meets HR.”

Loki’s scowl deepens and you have to bite the inside of your cheek in order not to laugh.

“It looks like you made good progress, though,” says Mobius, looking at your completed stacks of files. “I took a look at what you pulled earlier this morning and there’s some good stuff.”

“Oh, good,” you say, hoping he doesn’t think much of the fact that neither one of you was in the office earlier this morning. “What time do you think you’ll need the rest done?”

“Right, about that,” says Mobius. You steel yourself for bad news. “I took a look at what you pulled so far and I think I’ve got what I need.”

You blink at him. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, you’re off the hook,” he says. “Go enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

You look at Loki, who looks just as pleasantly surprised as you feel.

“In fact, you can take the rest of the week off,” says Mobius. “Triple overtime, right? You earned the time.”

“This feels like a trick,” says Loki. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch,” says Mobius. “You did good work.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “However—”

“And there’s the catch,” says Loki.

“There’s no catch,” says Mobius. He gestures at you with his coffee cup. “I’m just going to need you both to turn in the relevant paperwork to HR by next Friday.”

Loki sighs, though you can tell he’s fighting a smile. “There’s absolutely no privacy here.”

Mobius raises his eyebrows. “You’re playing footsie under the desk. It’s not exactly rocket science.”

You look at Loki and shrug. “He’s got a point.”

“You’re taking his side?”

You roll your eyes and stand up. “Well, you can sulk about it if you’d like, but I’m going to go enjoy the rest of my weekend.” You share a sly, secret smile with Mobius. “I’ll see you next week, Mobius.”

It takes Loki approximately twenty seconds to catch up with you.

“And you say I’m incorrigible,” he says as he falls into step beside you.

You smile at him. “I think you’ll get over it.”

“I’ll consider it.” He catches your band, fingers twining with yours. “What are your plans for the rest of the week?”

“Hadn’t decided,” you say, biting back a smile. “Did you have any suggestions?”

“Well, I’d like to start by going back to bed.”

“To sleep?” you tease.

“Eventually.” He licks his lips. “And since our respective schedules have been cleared for the week, we’ll be able to take our time.”

The hunger in his eyes is still so new and intoxicating that you can’t help the shiver that works its way up your spine.

You give him a slow smile. “Lead the way.”

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luciferlightbringer · 11 months ago

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Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 6

Hi lovelies! Please be warned that this is a heavier chapter that discusses trauma and depictions of violence! I'm sure I'm going overboard with the warnings, but I'm just wanting to make sure I cover all of my bases here! xoxo, Dany

Chapter 5|Chapter 6|Chapter 7|Updated through Chapter 12

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 5.3k CW: Slowburn, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, protective "not-boyfriend" !Trigger Warning!: Physical violence, abuse, neglect, vague mentionings of underage sex work, drug use, torture, and drug dealing

The next couple of days seemed to creep by more slowly for the both of you, nothing drastic, just... slower, more... unpleasant. It could have been because of how good everything felt to be with each other, but at least for you, there had been another new factor.

You had still been seeing other clients while working for Lucifer, and sure, he took up the largest amount of time, but there were still others, some one offs and some regulars, and a handful of new clients. Most of them didn't give you much grief, but one of your newer clients had taken quite a shine to you, and wanted to see you more often. He was... ok...ish... not really. He was a little selfish, which was fine, but he also had an aggressive personality, and not the fun kind. He had not done anything "bad" to you yet, but he toed the line and that made you nervous.

This had not been as much of an issue until someone tipped him off that you did house calls it was Cynthhhhia, and in the last two days he had asked for you to go to his place, and he seemed to push the boundaries more outside of the brothel. Larry had always told you that if anyone made you ladies uncomfortable, that you could put them on your "No Kiss List", basically being banned from being scheduled with you, and depending on the intensity of the issue they could also get banned from the Lounge entirely.

Again, at this point, this newer guy, Jethro, had not done anything yet, so you still felt like you could handle him, but he was still a cause for some stress. The night of your next visit with Lucifer was a welcome one. When you got too Lucifer's, you pulled him into a tight embrace. He welcomed your hug, but noticed that it felt a little different, a little heavier than usual.

"Well hello to you too! Haha! Hey, you doing ok?" he said, looking at you with soft concern as your released him from your embrace.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" you smiled, trying to hide your stress from the day.

"Oh nothing, you just uh... felt a little tense is all," he said sheepishly.

"Oh! Haha, ya it's nothing. Just a long day. Lots of clients, lots of... you know," you said trailing off.

"Of course! Haha, how silly of me! Do you, uh... need a minute? Do you want to, like, take a bath or shower or something?" he asked, "By yourself of course! I'm sure a minute to yourself would be nice. Plus, I still need to finish up with dinner," he added nervously, he felt his checks tint pink.

You chuckled, you thought it was funny when Lucifer would overthink his statements and felt like he needed to clarify something.

"That sounds nice, I might just take you up on that," you smile.

"Great!" he smiled, "Chose any bathroom you like, dinner should be ready in like 30 minutes."

The two of you part ways as you headed to one of the close-by guest bathrooms and Lucifer headed back to the kitchen. Lucifer had some updates that he had wanted to tell you about from Charlie's meeting with Heaven, but he figured that could wait a little longer. Plus, he was now preoccupied by his own dumb comment.

'"You want to take a bath or shower or something? By yourself, of course!" no duh, you idiot! She understood that's what you meant, why did you felt like you needed to clarify that?! Why do you gotta be so weird sometimes?!' he scolded himself as he made his way to the kitchen. Lucifer definitely had people that would cook for him, but he liked that it gave him something to do sometimes while he waited for you to get there in the evenings.

Meanwhile, you drew yourself a bath and slipped into it. You examined the bruises on your legs and chest from where your earlier guest had bitten and grabbed you. You were normally all for kinks like these, but these feel more forceful, and therefore made you upset to look at. You hid your legs under the water and just floated in the big tub for a while.

You smiled to yourself again as you thought of Lucifer stumbling over himself 'You want to take a bath or shower or something? By yourself, course!' followed by that little nervous smile. It was cute, and it was funny that he kept forgetting that he could just request that if he wanted to. You wouldn't have minded, you honestly would have liked it. He would be so warm and soft, snuggling into your chest in the warm water. You realized you had only ever seen him down to a barely opened shirt, while he has seen you down to your lingerie, for a fleeting minute.

How odd it was, that he had been one of your longest running and most consistent clients and yet, you too had not been sexually intimate at all. It was nice, but also... a little disappointing? Why was that disappointing? Why did you care? And why did you actually like the thought of bathing with him?

Your thought process was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Uhh... occupied?" you said.

"There you are!" you could hear Lucifer through the door. "Jesus Christ, darling why do I have so many bathrooms?"

You shrugged, "Uhh.. cuz you're rich and its funny?"

"Hmm... That is true..." Lucifer chuckled on the other side of the door, "Anyways, dinner is ready whenever you are!"

"Ok!" you called out, and you started to get ready. As Lucifer walked away, he paused for a moment, thinking about how you were naked on the other side of the door.

He shook his head and kept walking, "Dude, stop it," he said quietly to himself.

A few minutes later, you were out, a toweling off your hair, back in your earlier clothes.

"How are you feeling?" said Lucifer as you entered the room.

"Much better, thank you," you said with a smile.

You and Lucifer sat down to eat, and Lucifer was finally able to tell you about the whole ordeal of setting up the Heaven with meeting the exhausting bureaucracy and drama of it all, and then... the aftermath of Charlie's meeting. Charlie had gone up with Vaggie, met with a bunch of the angels and seraphim, including Adam, the first man and leader of the yearly exterminations, and his right hand exorcist, Lute, and... it did not go well. Charlie had gotten them to start actually start thinking about the whole issue, then Adam dropped the whole "extermination" thing on the counsel, and most of the angels in the room knew nothing about the extermination of souls in hell! Consider the tea, spilled. Then on top of that, the council said their was not proof sinners could be redeemed, and Adam basically declared war on the Hotel.

Well, this was very stressful, but in a way that made you care more and made you forget about your worries from earlier in the day. You thought about Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel... everyone at the hotel... You were wondering how they were feeling, how they were going to get out of this. So much for your idea about moving into the hotel. You chuckled to yourself.

"What is it?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh... it's stupid," you say with a wave of your hand, Lucifer gives you a look. You sigh, "Just... puts a little damper on my daydream to try out the hotel."

Lucifer cocked his head to the side, "You were thinking about moving to the hotel?"

You sat back and shrugged, "It was... a passing thought. Nothing serious. I realize that probably would have made things complicated, it's probably just easier this way."

Lucifer studied your face, "Maybe after the next extermination, see what happens. I just don't want you to get caught up in all of that right now."

"Ya," you say, staring off. Your worries returning back to thoughts of Charlie and the others.

Lucifer read the concern on your face, and placed a hand over yours. You looked up to meet his soft smile.

"It's gonna be ok..." he said with hesitation. "I don't exactly know how it is going to be ok, I would be lying if I said it wasn't nervous... but I trust my daughter... and her friends seem to be good people... outside of Alastor," his glared off to the side at the mentioning of the Radio Demon.

He was right, maybe not all hope was lost, maybe Charlie would figure out something. You smile at the face he made, then looked down at his hand on top of yours. Your face shifted in thought in response to something he had just said, "her friends seem to be good people..." Did he really believe that? Did that visit really change his mind that much? That's not what he had made it sound like the other day. You had forgotten about that comment, and now the reminder left you with a bitter taste.

Lucifer looked over and caught your expression, "What's on your mind?"

You look at him sideways, "Do you really believe that? That her friends are good people?"

"Well... as far as I have seen, why do you say that?" he said with worried confusion.

You look up at him, "I just thought that sinners were all violent psychopaths, hell-bent on causing as much pain a destruction as they can."

Lucifer froze, shit did he really say that the other day to his daughter, in front of you and all of Charlie's friends? Yeesh.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Jeez, I really did say that didn't I?" You gave him a slow judgmental nod. He sighed, "I... I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that... I'm sorry... I realized that I have never really taken the opportunity to actually get to know many sinners, and I've passed a lot of judgement on them the last... 10,000 years. They are not like that... you, are definitely not like that... Honestly, meeting you has made me really confused on the matter of how they decide who ends up here entirely."

Your slight distain turned you curiosity, and you raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

Lucifer took a minute to try and find the words, "Uhh, well... fuck, ok... I guess I just don't understand why you are in hell in the first place. The way you treat people puts people I used to know in Heaven to shame."

You blow a puff of air out your nose in a laugh, "Maybe the way I treat you and hotel people, I'm not like this with everyone, you know?"

"Well ya... but still..." Lucifer held back his next question a moment, he didn't want to say anything to upset you. "Can I ask... um... how you ended up here?"

You prop your head up on your hand and thought, being alive felt so long ago. Lucifer waited nervously for you to answer, but he was pretty sure you didn't look mad at the question.

"You really wanna know?"

He nodded.

"Well... I was the oldest child of drug addict parents, who had no right having any kids, spent much of my life fending for myself and my siblings, my parents would not stop having fucking kids and I was basically the only parent for them. I had to do... whatever I could for them, steal from neighbors, stores, random people's cars, anything to get food and money for my siblings. When I was older, my grandmother got custody of us and it got a lot better, but we struggled a lot mentally and it was hard to shake the old habits. She had to knock some sense into me to stop stealing, but I could never get past the idea of needing to be the parent of the house. I didn't go to school until end of middle school, and when I started it was hard, I skipped school, never finished an education. I wanted to... but I was way too far behind by that point, and with so many kids, grandma couldn't get all of us caught up. I encouraged her to focus on the younger ones. I tried getting a normal job, but I ended up meeting shitty people and I get ended up selling drugs and my body to get by. It wasn't great but it made me money. I had bad and sub-par relationships, nothing great. During my last relationship, I was actually starting to learn about boundaries and shit, feeling like it might actually go somewhere... and then I was killed during a bad drug deal," you looked back at Lucifer casually as you finished your story.

Lucifer looked at you with so much heartbreak in his eyes. No pity, no belittlement, no tears, just sadness. "How are you still so full of kindness then? After all of that?"

You smiled, "Partly cuz I can act, but mostly because... everything stupid, reckless, or "sinful" I ever did... it was for my siblings. I always thought that I would damn myself to hell so that they didn't have to." You shook your head, "I sure did damn myself to hell, but... I don't know how successful I was, my siblings always seemed mad or annoyed with me... but... I just loved them all so much."

Lucifer stood up and wrapped his arms around you as you remained sitting, your head at his chest level. You were taken by surprise, but hugged him back, "What's this for?"

He released you slightly from his hug, and held your face in his hands. "If you gave your siblings even an ounce of the care you have shown me, I know you were successful, and I know they will never forget the sacrifices you made for them."

Your eyes go wide, 'Could it... could it be? Could he be right? Could you have saved them? Saved them from the same pain you endured? Could your actions have changed the course of their lives? Could you have saved them from a fate in hell?' Tears started to form in your eyes. 'No. No. No no no no no. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, no crying in front of Lucifer.' You rip your face away from Lucifer's hands and wipe your face before the tears fall.

Lucifer ached to see you tear yourself away and wipe your tears. Until this moment, he had never realized how much of a wall you had up, how much you protected yourself, how much space you gave to him and how little you gave for yourself. He knew the dynamics were weird, this not being a normal friendship and all. Those dynamics were starting to make him so frustrated, he just wanted to hold you every night and tell you how much he cared about you... but things were way too messy now. He had no idea how to untangle this, and emotionally vulnerable conversations did not seem like the best idea right now with everything going on.

"Sorry," you say as you finish wiping your tears, "Thank you, really, I mean it. I'm just... not used to that."

Lucifer smiled, "Well... I hope this can be a good... beginning to that..."

'Nice job Lucifer, fucking nailed it, idiot.' he thought you himself.

You laugh, he laughed with you. Alright, enough of that, time for some tv and snuggles. You also remembered another question you had for Lucifer from you day at the hotel. You asked Lucifer about how he could teleport, and asked if the driver was necessary or if he could just pick you up from your apartment for your evenings together. He didn't know why he hadn't thought about that before, he had been worried about people following the car back to his place, or bothering you, and that would make him feel better. Plus, it would be cool to see your place. You guys made a plan for him to just teleport in to grab you in the future.

______________________________________________________________

The next couple of weeks were a weird mixture of fun and stressful, Lucifer started teleporting in to get you right at your set meeting time and he got to see your place. It was... small, really small, and there wasn't much to it. He made a comment oh how "minimalist" it was, but you just said you didn't need a lot, you weren't used to much, which wasn't completely a lie, but you didn't want to worry him with images of the other girls trying to break into your room.

Outside of that, Lucifer had the added stressors of worrying about Charlie, the hotel, and the upcoming extermination/war with Adam. You would go a visit the hotel crew with him often, but it only seemed to ease his mind while he was there. He started to complain again about struggling a little with sleep, he would fall asleep fine, especially with you there, but he started having nightmares that would wake him up in the middle of the night and would make it hard for him to fall back asleep. You were frustrated that you did not know how to help him with that, but you also knew he could take care of himself. You couldn't fix all of his problems.

You on the other hand... had reached a boiling point with Jethro. He continued to ignoring safe words, become more controlling, manipulative, and aggressive, until one day you had enough. You stopped the scene you were in and told him that he would not stand for his behavior anymore. Jethro did not like this, and you left his house with a black eye, as well as several other bruises across your body, may be even a sprain. You ran back to the Lounge as quickly as you could, trying desperately not to cry in public.

You got into the Lounge and ran up to your room to hide. Luckily, one of the girls you were closer to saw you, and told Larry. Larry texted you, asking what happened and if he could come up to talk to you. You agreed. Larry came up to your room, you opened the door for him to see you in tears, covered in bruises, trying to ice your eye. You told Larry what happened, and he told you he was putting Jethro on your "No Kiss List", banning him from the Lounge, and that he would handle Jethro if he tried coming back in.

You thanked him, he patted your shoulder, and asked if you wanted you clients canceled for the rest of the day. You asked who was left for the day, and the only one left was "Lance". You shook your head, just asking that no walk-ins get scheduled with you between then and now so that you could be ready by "Lance's" appointment. Larry agreed, and left you to your wounds. You had no idea how you were going to pull your yourself together and hide this all from Lucifer by tonight, but you had to try.

You went into the bathroom, ran a bath, played some music, and cried, partly from the pain, partly from fear. You were so in your head from the experience, that you did not do as well keeping track of time. Before long, Lucifer teleported into your room. Lucifer was a little shocked to not see you in your room, but then he heard the music from the bathroom. Oh ok, you must have been just running a little late.

He want to go knock on the door so that he knew you were there and didn't surprise you, but then he heard something else from the bathroom that made him stop. Was that... crying? Was that part of the music or was that you? He waited, the song changed, and the crying continued. That was definitely you. He finally knocked.

You were startled by the sound of the knock, "Uhhh... occupied?"

"It's me darling, I hope I didn't startle you," you heard Lucifer's voice through the door. You picked up your phone and looked at the time. Shit! You quickly got out of the tub.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, uhh... I must have lot track of time. Busy day. Lots of clients. Uhh... I'll be out in a minute!" you say has you hurried to get dressed. Luckily, you had already brought your clothes into the bathroom with you, so Lucifer wouldn't have to see all of the bruises.

"No rush! You take as much time as you need," Lucifer called back, then he went to go take a seat on your couch.

His words made you feel a little better, but you did not want to keep him waiting any longer than you already had. You quickly did what you could to put on makeup to cover up the big bruise around your eye, you could cover the coloring just fine, it was the swelling you were worried about. It had gone down a little, but it might still be noticeable.

Part of you wishes you had canceled on him, but that would have made you sad more than anything else, and it probably would have worried him. That is if he actually cared about you. Errrr... stop that. Lucifer is not like Jethro or the others, he actually does care, at least... to some amount. You just did not want anyone to see you like this, but especially him.

Eventually you finished your makeup and looked at yourself, it would have to be good enough for today. You painted your best sweet smile on your face, and walked out the door.

"All done! Ready to go?" you said cheerful.

"Yup!" Lucifer said, trying to match your cheerful tone, but he was worried. Why had you been crying? Why were you now trying to hide it? Why were you wearing so much make up today? He hadn't seen you wear this much make up since the first few appointments you guys had. He remembered that Charlie once said girls sometimes wear more make up when they were sad because "If you look better, you feel better", so he didn't comment. He just smiled, wrapped an arm around you, and teleported you both back to his place.

You were already more relieved to be back at his place, the stress of the day still held tightly to you, but it was better here. You swung your arms around Lucifer, enveloping him in a hug. Lucifer held you back tightly, softly but firmly. He was so comforting and soft, you wanted to live in that embrace.

He didn't know what was making you so sad that day, but he wanted to do everything to make you feel better. He had your favorite dinner and dessert made, grabbed you your favorite blanket for when you guys would cuddle on the couch and watch tv later, and he was going to find that tv last that you said you used to like to watch sometimes when you were alive, "The Office."

At one point, during desert, Lucifer looked over at you and saw a strand of hair flop down front of your face. He reached over to tuck it behind your ear, but because of the angle, you didn't see his hand until it was almost near your swollen eye. You flinched and practically jumped out of your chair, shouting "No!" and covering you eye with you hand, the other was wide with panic.

Lucifer flinched his hand back, and stayed still. What was that about? You had never reacted like that before.

"Darling, is everything alright? I didn't mean to startle you," he said softly, worry painting his face.

You realize you had misunderstood what he had been trying to do and panicked, 'Shit! Shit, shit, shit!' You couldn't tell what was the greater emotion in that moment, the shame of reacting to Lucifer, or the fact that the emotions from earlier where about to bubble up again. 'Do I try to push it down? Do I run for the bathroom? Shit. There is no hiding it, is there? He is going to find out about it now.'

You start to sit back down, still covering your eye, "I, uhh... I'm sorry... I don't... I didn't mean to yell at you like-"

"(y/n)" Lucifer said firmly, you look at him with your uncovered eye, tears starting to fill up the edge of your vision, "Please. Please tell me what's wrong. Why are you covering your eye? What made you jump so hard?"

You start to breathe heavily, "Are you sure you want to know?" you say with tears in your voice.

"Yes, my darling, I do. More than anything," Lucifer said, standing up slowly to come closer to you.

You look down, breathe, and lower you hand. Now that he was looking right at your eye, he could see how swollen it was under all of the make up.

"Is that... a black eye?" he said panicked. You nodded. He started to put some context clues together.

"Someone did this to you?" he asked, a little more sternness in his voice. You nodded again, the tears were starting to fall. "Someone from the Lounge?"

You nodded, "A client," you whispered.

"Did he do anything else?" he asked, trying to hold back the growing anger in his voice. You nodded. "Can you show me?" You froze, looking down, more tears falling, "Please don't be mad at me, I didn't want you to know, this shouldn't be something you worry about-"

"Darling," he says cutting you off again, "I am not mad at you, I am however mad at the sick fuck that did this to you. And I will worry about you, because I want to. Do you understand me?" You were not used to hearing him talk like this, it was scary, but in a comforting way. His words were growing in anger, but you understood it was not at you, it was for you.

You look up at him to see that his eyes had changed color, basically inverted, black slitted pupils now surrounded by golden irises and deep blood red sclera. They were terrifying and beautiful at the same time. You nodded, finally answering his question, and you started to take off your sweater. Lucifer saw your arms and torso littered with different sizes of bruises and deep bite marks. At the sight of them, horns grew out from his temples and a tail lashed out from his back. Again, he looked scarier, but for some reason, you were not afraid. You actually felt... safe? You had never seen someone so mad for you before.

Lucifer gently and slowly reached out for your arm, trying to make sure not to scare you further. "Is it like this on your legs too?" You nodded. You were about to ask if he needed to see them, when he pulled you into a tight hug. You were confused, but welcomed it. His hugs were always nice but this one felt, even better? All of your bruises and bites started to feel, lighter, and then the pain was gone. Lucifer released from your hug, and you looked down to see all of your marks were gone.

'He could heal too?! Fuck, is there anything he can't do?'

"Better?" he asked. You nodded. "Good, now. I'm gonna need a name and location. Now." he paused, "please."

You hesitated, you weren't supposed to tell anyone who you had been meeting with. But... he had not specifically asked for digression, and he was banned from the Lounge, and it would probably save Larry and the girls some trouble, and... fuck it, it was hell! Who cared!

"What are you going to do to him?" you asked. He smirked with a wicked smile, carefully reached out to softly hold your chin, and with a demonic resonance to his voice, he whispered, "Why darling, I'm going to make him suffer in a way that this realm has not tortured and tormented a soul in EONS, I am going to rip him his own dimension of time and space where he will be able to experience his body being ripped apart, piece by piece, and put back together, over and over again, for the rest of eternity."

You had no idea how to picture that and you didn't care... it was terrifying, but Lucifer's power was fucking HOT.

"Uhh... Jethro Hanson. Big house out in Pentagram city, near the inner city, very bright red, can't miss it," you spit out. He smiles, unfurls his six, big, beautiful wings from his back, gives you a soft kiss on the hand and says, "I'll be right back," before opening a portal above him and flying into it. It closes behind you and leaves you alone, in the dining room.

Your heart was racing, there were too many feelings swirling inside your mind, joy, sadness, rage, fear... lust. God, his full demon form was hot, what the hell? After a few minutes, the adrenaline wore off, and you found yourself on the couch starting to cry again, but this time... it felt GOOD. These tears were cathartic like nothing you had ever felt before, a hard, powerful cry.

After about 15-20 minutes, Lucifer reappeared, the same as he looked when he had left, just wiping his hands on themself after a job well done, as you would after a job well done. Lucifer heard your cries and ran to you, getting in his knees in front of you on the couch and cocooning you in his wings.

"Darling, what's the matter? I'm so sorry, did I scare you?" he said with words full of worry.

You shook your head, smiling and pressing your forehead to his, "No. Not at all. I'm just... I'm good. Really. I'm just not used to... feeling cared about, and... protected..." You choke out, before continuing to sob.

'Shit, shit, ok, what do I do?' he thought to himself. Then he remembered. He retracted his horns and tail, set his eyes back to their normal color, picked you up, laid down on the couch, and positioned you to lay on top of him, your head on his chest, wings wrapped around you. As you laid there, he rubbed your back as you continued to cry. "And as long as I am here, you will never have to know life without that, ever again," he said softly, so softly that you couldn't make it out over the sound of your own sobs.

Slowly, your tears started get get quieter, and your breathing started to slow. As Lucifer laid there with you on his chest, he started to card his fingers through you hair. What a dream you were to him, he had be so cared for by you, and now he was able to give that care back to you. That was honestly all he had wanted, was to have someone to be cared by and for. To have... someone to love.

Love?

Love.

'Oh my god... do I love her?' he thought at he looked down at your soft face. Studying the features of your face as you laid on his chest with this new idea, everything suddenly made sense. The nervousness, the desire for closeness, the way you lit up his world, the way your smile would wash his cares away.

He loved you.

That was about to make everything wayyyy more complicated.

______________________________________________________________

As usual, leave a comment if you want added to the taglist so that you can get notifications when future chapters drop!

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#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #fanfic #fanfic writing #lucifer x y/n #lucifer fanfiction #hazbin lucifer #lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin #fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfiction #slow burn

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cpvnksabm · 25 days ago

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Things I Think RTC Did Well In Disability Rep (in 2016-2018 scripts)

exactly what it says in the title. i'm not touching on the pre-2016 scripts because i dont know enough about them and i'm not talking about the 2022 script changes for obvious reasons.

disclaimer, this is all my own opinion as one disabled person, other people may feel differently and that's fine.

Ricky's disability in general

Ricky is a young person who uses mobility aids. He can't talk, implicitly due to dysarthria. He has a degenerative disease, specifically a rare disease which is heavily implied to be neuromuscular. And it's stated outright that his disease is lifespan-limiting and that he's dealt with his own mortality in life.

And all of these things are very underrepresented!

I'm not going to claim that all of these things were explained perfectly or explored in detail in the canon. But just having them on-stage, in my opinion, is a big deal in itself. And it's also a big deal that Ricky is a main character, who has the same character depth as the abled characters, when so many characters like him are reduced to ableist props for other characters' story arcs.

I understand there's been some confusion about the specifics of ricky's disability, in the fandom. And I know part of the confusion comes from the fact that the script didn't explain everything, and glossed over most of the details. But honestly? The fact that so many RTC fans didn't initially understand parts of his disability - such as the fact that it's likely neuromuscular, or the fact that his inability to speak is implied to have a physical cause - just makes it more important that these things were represented on-stage in the first place. They're so underrepresented, little-known, and poorly-understood that many people don't pick up on them even when they are represented!

Just showing these underrepresented disabled experiences on-stage has potential to help a lot of disabled people feel seen, which matters.

Ricky as a victim of ableism

Okay, this one might be controversial, but i'm speaking from the heart here.

Ableism is a huge part of Ricky's backstory and character - the whole Zolar thing is stated to be a coping method to deal with isolation & cruelty. Throughout the musical Ocean infantilizes him in dialogue, and in her song she argues point-blank that he has no reason to be alive due to his disability. The rest of the choir aren't perfect either - sure, nobody else says anything ableist, but they're all bystanders to Ocean's overt ableism, nobody really holds her accountable or acknowledges that what she's saying is fucked up. On top of that, Ricky says after his song that nobody listened to him while he was alive which, combined with the whole choir being shocked upon learning about his deeper thoughts, pretty clearly implies that they all ignored him previously.

And it's so fucking realistic.

Look. I'm not saying that Ocean's ableism was ever handled perfectly in canon. I am saying that when I saw a post-2022 production with the able-bodied Ricky script, I got a sinking feeling in my gut when we got to *that* part of WTWN and I realized the ableist lines had been removed/replaced. Because facing ableism is a huge part of my disabled experience that I barely ever see even acknowledged in media, let alone represented accurately, and the more I face ableism in real life the more I feel I can relate to Ricky, and that is so important to me.

Depicting bigotry in fiction is always difficult to do right - it's a rough balance between "this is not okay and we should not imply that it is" and "many people believe this is okay, wrongly, and that needs to be shown accurately". Sure, you can make it so the antagonist character is overtly ableist and every sympathetic character explicitly says "I do not agree with your ableist views!" and that way it's 100% clear that the ableist actions are wrong. But real ableism isn't just like that. Sometimes real-world ableism is a group of perfectly nice people who just never think about the disabled kid, or how he's doing or whether someone should talk to him, because they've been taught to ignore him. And sometimes it's a girl who swears to God that she's a good person, who considers herself an ally, whose voice stays sweet and kind as she switches between talking to her disabled classmate like he's 5 years old and claiming he doesn't deserve to live.

I think the brutal honesty of ableism in RTC is important. Yeah, it's pretty fucked-up when you think about it - Ocean openly sings about why Ricky shouldn't live, every ableist character is presented sympathetically, nobody is ever actually held accountable for ableism on-stage - and that's just like real life. I'd like to think that it could act as a wake-up call to some abled fans, who are similar to Ocean (+ others) and who could learn to understand the flaws in their worldview when they realize you're not supposed to agree with what she says in WTWN. But even more importantly than that... it makes me feel seen, in a way that I couldn't feel if Ricky's experiences with ableism weren't shown so realistically.

SABM, like, all of it

Do I even need to explain this? Disabled person has a whole furry-themed musical number. That's cool as fuck. God I wish that were me.

Okay, seriously. I think SABM is wonderful and important for a number of reasons. Like all of the character songs, it's important for expanding Ricky's character - not only is it a main glimpse into his interests, but it sets up for us to learn more about his personality and the selflessness that would later lead to the touching Savannah scene. It shows us his deep internal thoughts - it confirms that he has deep internal thoughts - and explains how he's been coping with the ableism he faces.

SABM is weird. I like that. I like that Ricky gets to have weird interests and a weird self-insert fantasy, while being disabled - I like that being disabled isn't treated as his "weird" trait, such that giving him weird interests as well would be "too much". Because that happens a lot! Disabled people are expected to be completely average in every other way to "make up" for our disability. And, yeah, SABM is kind of horny - and that makes sense! Ricky is a teenager, he's in his final year of high school, most people his age do have sexual fantasies. Other characters also reference sex in various ways so it makes sense that Ricky would. And I think it makes sense for SABM to be weird because part of Ricky's backstory is being ignored and isolated due to his disability - that's the sort of thing that, long-term, can leave people without a clear reference point for 'weird' and 'normal', or just leave them having no reason to care about being 'weird' because they're ignored anyway.

But also, if I may get analytical for a moment. Throughout the musical until SABM, Ricky faces a lot of ableism from Ocean, which isn't really commented on - she infantilizes him, both by assuming he's incapable of deeper thought/understanding and by being shocked at the idea that he might talk about porn or sex, and she also argues that he doesn't have a reason to live with his disability. Ocean is a flawed character and an unreliable narrator, but for the first half of the musical, you could be forgiven for thinking maybe you're supposed to agree with her and view Ricky as some pitiable child.

And then in comes Ricky's introduction, followed by SABM. And clearly Ricky isn't mentally a child, in any way - he's developed a whole complex story with deep worldbuilding so that he can imagine himself having sex with alien catgirls. But it also makes it clear that Ricky does have valuable ideas to contribute and, heck, just things he enjoys - which feels significant to me when a few songs ago it was being argued that there's no reason he should be alive.

As I said earlier, the ableism Ricky faces is extremely realistic and relatable to me. And SABM makes it clear that Ocean's ableist views about him are untrue and harmful, without breaking the realism for her to turn directly to the audience and say "By the way, you aren't supposed to agree with most of what I say about Ricky - I'm an unreliable narrator speaking due to my own biases!"

Basically - SABM is a subtle deconstruction of all the ableist things said to/about Ricky throughout the musical. It's an incredibly important part of the musical and an important way to represent a disabled character. And it's also a fucking bop.

Why this is important

Representation matters. That's a concept that has been explained a lot, by people who can articulate it better than I can - I won't fully explain here, just google "why does representation matter".

Look - over the years, many aspects of RTC's disability rep have been criticised in various ways. And a lot of that criticism is completely justified. Many topics were handled confusingly, not fully explained, and not properly explored like they could have been; erasure was pretty much baked into the script, with Ricky becoming able-bodied in the afterlife, and while some productions have tried to alleviate this by retaining his mobility aids nobody has found a workaround for his inability to speak in a genre where it's important for him to sing; and in recent years his disability has been entirely erased from the script, in an incredibly ableist way.

I'm not saying RTC is perfect; far from it. But if I thought there was no value in RTC's disability rep, and Ricky was just some offensive caricature, I wouldn't be in the fandom.

In fact, it's because I love Ricky and see him as valuable disability rep that I think it's important to criticise the parts of the musical that aren't handled well & the issues with disability erasure. RTC had good disability rep - that's why I think it should be improved, why it can be improved, and why i think we should fight against erasure. That's a big part of why I hate the 2022 script changes! Because they erased something that was important to me!

A lot of the things I loved about RTC in the first place are things that I frequently see glossed over, or downright erased, in fanworks. I think sometimes people don't realize the significance of these details, so I wanted to share why I think it's important! Some of these details really need more exploration and more love!

Overall, I think it's important to understand that media can't always be sorted neatly into "good representation" or "bad representation". And that talking about the good things and criticising the flaws can both be important. I really wanted to share my perspective on this topic. Thanks for reading!

#ride the cyclone #rtc fandom #rtc #ricky ride the cyclone #ricky potts #ricky potts rtc #ricky potts ride the cyclone #ricky rtc #harper explains

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the-brash-spud · 8 months ago

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Marvel's looks

So you know how it is at least an older canon established that Billy as Marvel looks like his dad or at least what he remembers his dad to look like? I personally lean into a second option of how he remembers his dad because it makes it more interesting plus it helps with the whole awkwardness of him looking like a semi-random or completely random (depends what canon you're going for) dead dude.

So here's the differences I see Billy as Captain having compared to his dad or things that come from his dad's little quirks!

Height: Billy remembers his dad as being massive because he himself was a tiny baby boy. So yeah. Marvel isn't a walking 6'4" feet tall dude because that's his "peak" or whatever but that's how tall comparatively Billy's dad looked like to him at when he was like 4 vs 8 years old.

Build: CC was the strongest man Billy has ever known. He could lift all of them: his mom, his sister and him; proudly proclaiming he is holding his entire universe in his arms. So naturally he was super strong which called for super muscles! So that's why Marvel is build like a tank while CC most likely had a healthy amount muscles from excavating and such but nowhere as much as Marvel and unlike Marvel would've also had a solid amount of extra squish too (we stand dad bods, lmao).

Cleanliness: You know how a decent amount of people have Marvel have a neat self-cleaning option that just comes with the magic form? I personally like the perpetually perfect hairstyle from one of the fanfics I read that joked about it. Even if this might not be something I'll always use to it's maximum extend. Either way. I like to think that the cleanliness of Captain Marvel comes from the fact that CC liked to be overall clean and put together when seeing people or generally outside around the public and generally portray himself as professional: as in wearing full business in casual business because he likes the feeling wearing a suit gives him (Yeah, I see CC to be a weirdo actually enjoying suits and his wife finds it to be an extremely adorable quirk she loves because they both get to be the dressed to the nines couple!)

Face: OK so this one is going to have a bit of sub bits here because I gave CC glasses. I know when he is shown he usually doesn't have them but I have a reason for it and I'll get to it:

4.1. Nose: The shape is different from CC's simply because glasses hide a decent portion of the nose bridge depending on what sort of glasses you get. But generally the bridge would be a bit larger for Marvel.

4.2. Eyes: So you know how in older depictions of Marvel he always squints? You know when people also squint? When they're trying to see better! So yeah for me Marvel has a perpetual squint because he doesn't wear glasses unlike his dad. Who, whenever he took them off, also squinted to see (sometimes exaggerating it to make his kids laugh). So Marvel's form subconsciously squints since there's no glasses on his nose. lol.

4.3. Also eyes: Additionally since CC wears glasses and squints when he takes them off, his vision has to be decently bad. You know what happens when you wear strong glasses? They warp your face. So additionally Marvel has smaller eyes then CC would've had. :P

So yeah that's all I have for now but might edit it if I ever come up with more things like that. If you like the concept feel free to either use it or add to it. This is all a complete fanon. It's for complete funnsies. But I would still like to hear what you think about it!

#dc #dc comics #billy batson #shazam #dc captain marvel #fanon #concept #character concept #cc batson

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milykins · 10 days ago

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Poly Dad HCs

Taking the Dad HCs to the next level we have the poly dad HCs. I couldn't help but imagine how things would go if the Reader had children with two or more of the Bayverse guys. I've done all the pairings I could think of. My personal favourite is Blood Orange.

TW: Depictions of poly-type relationships and reverse harem-type relationship (All four with one woman), aged up characters.

Special thanks to @sophiacloud28 for checking it over for me!

Leo and Donnie (Blurple) 💙💜

Parenting children would be fairly harmonious because these two dads are. On. The. Same. Page.

Both have similarly calm demeanors and will likely will be reflected in their kids as well.

They may disagree on the question of who parented who. Leo would prefer to be kept in the dark whereas Donnie would be curious about which ones are biologically his. He would never voice it, though. He loves them all equally of course.

Donnie does the science side of things while Leo covers the spiritual and martial arts side.

They do clash sometimes with the science vs. spirituality argument and may disagree on certain things like bedtime. Leo is fairly strict on certain aspects. The children must have a routine to keep things running smoothly and he is very unmoving on .

Donnie will do his best to follow said routines but is a little more relaxed. Just one more book Leo, then he promises he’ll put the kids to bed. Leo can be persuaded… usually by you, to relax a little bit.

On discipline Leo is definitely the tougher of the two. At times being too hard on the kids. Donnie will step in with a gentler approach, using logic and understanding to solve things. He doesn’t undermine Leo’s discipline techniques but rather shows him that there is more than one way to deal with certain issues.

Between these two their kids are loved, fed, safe, and well taken care of with clear boundaries set to teach them right from wrong.

Raph and Mikey (Blood Orange) ❤️🧡

These two dads may not always be on the same page but they absolutely love their kids. They’re both protective as heck too.

They complement each other well in certain aspects. Mikey does the fun dad thing, while Raph is more on the quieter side. The kids get the best of both worlds.

Neither of them care to know which ones are biologically theirs but it tends to be pretty obvious with certain inherited personality traits.

Surprisingly enough, Raph is the one who ends up sticking to things like a bedtime schedule. In the beginning, Mikey is so lax on it he would let the kids just fall asleep where they may and eat when they were hungry. Raph had to be the one to reel him in, fix up a bedtime schedule and have regularly scheduled meals. It only took one week of no rules or schedule and the two of them had their hands full with grumpy, tired and wild off the rails children. You and Raph end up having to sit Mikey down and explain gently, (on your part, not so much Raph’s) that the kids need some structure. Luckily, Mikey is so easygoing that he easily agrees to the routine and some clear rules and boundaries.

On discipline, Raph starts off being way too hard on the children with some pretty harsh punishments. This is where Mikey actually has to reel him in.

Raph ends up making one of them cry and Mikey is dad mode activated. He asks Raph if he really wants to be that type of parent, the one who scares his kids into behaving.

Despite his stubbornness, this actually sparks a moment of clarity for Raph. After that, he’s softer. He learns that there is a better way to teach his children respect and discipline.

On your part, it’s a bit of a challenge keeping these two on the same page but the one thing they agree on is how much they love their children, and you.

Leo and Mikey (Synergy) 💙🧡

This pairing might also be a little more challenging due to how drastically different these two are. Leo often feels Mikey is like an extra child on top of their biological ones.

They are both unconcerned with which ones are ‘theirs’ all children belong to both of them no matter their personality or who they resemble more.

Leo tries to impose a strict routine early on and expects Mikey to just follow it. Wishful thinking on his part you would say.

Mikey does at first… but easily finds loopholes to get around things like sneaking the kids treats before dinner, reading just one more book at bedtime and citing that there’s just five more minutes on the movie they’re watching.

At first it drives Leo crazy and he wastes a lot of energy trying to push his younger brother to fall in line. So many lectures on why a routine is important and deviating from it will cause unwanted behaviours etc.

Mikey may be the fun loving easygoing one out of the two of them but he will not be steamrolled by his brother. He does stand up to Leo when he sees fit because he’s a parent too and he has a say in how their children will be raised. Leo doesn’t expect this and along with you gently pushing him to actually listen to his brother for once.

With your help, Mikey actually gets Leo relax a little with his strict schedules and rigid discipline ideals.

The most incredible thing that happens as a result is Leo learning how to have fun and actually play with his kids. Mikey and the kids rope him into dance parties, tea parties, pillow fights and the like.

At first Leo is fairly awkward feels out of place but then he finds he secretly loves it.

Mikey brings out his playful side and Leo in return helps Mikey be calmer and more apt to raise the children with some healthy boundaries. Discipline, kindness, honour and a huge amount of love is how this parenting relationship would go.

Mikey and Donnie (Wise Crack) 🧡💜

Coparenting between these two is a pretty relaxing affair. Both employ gentle parenting techniques and both would need guidance from you on discipline practices and routines.

Just enough so that the kids don’t walk all over them. Once they have that down, the two of them would likely get along pretty well and be on the same page for the most part.

Donnie is still the fun science dad and Mikey is the fun playful dad. Between these two, their children are never bored.

Donnie might need ‘resetting’ from time to time, getting too consumed in his work, wrapped up in his projects and spending too much time in his lab. This is where Mikey comes into play.

He will team up with the children and ‘bully’ him into leaving his work and spending time with them. He’ll play directly into his love of science and all things technology-related too.

He’ll schedule a visit to the museum, the planetarium or plan some fun science experiments, bonus if they end up exploding and Don has to step in before someone (likely Mikey) hurts themselves. He does these things even though science tends to be pretty boring to him, but the kids absolutely love it. Mikey ends up learning how to like science as a result.

Donnie, in turn learns the importance of spending time with his children and cuts down on his work in the lab for good.

The children, and you of course are much better off with two committed, available dads that love you and their children more than anything.

Raph and Leo (Viole-n-t) ❤️💙

Oh, these two… they barely like sharing YOU, parenting their collective children is a whole other challenge in itself.

Raph automatically pushes back on Leo’s strict schedule and boundaries without a second thought.

The two of them undermine each other constantly when it comes to their chosen parenting practices. These are two strong-willed men with very stubborn personalities.

Raph says screw the schedule and lets the children stay up later or Leo steps in during Raph’s training sessions to take over because he can ‘do it’ better. Unfortunately, it ends with the two of them arguing it out and fighting in front of the children.

You, the matriarch of the family has to knock them down a couple pegs.

The two of them begrudgingly agree to a ‘truce’ because you are actually the logical one in this situation and point out the fact that they’re acting like children themselves and their behaviour is upsetting everyone. The one thing these two do agree on is having the kids feel safe and happy, so much so that they’ll swallow their pride and try to get along.

With more prompting you’ll get them to agree to split the fatherly responsibilities right down the middle.

They both are in agreement and things like bathtime, bedtime, meal times and playtime all get organized, you tackle the discipline issue with them as well.

You are quite clear that neither one of them are to undermine the other in terms of discipline and you all agree on one technique, firm but gentle.

Leo and Raph can manage to put their differences aside for the sake of their family and there will be rare moments where the two of them do get along.

Neither can resist their little ones asking if their ‘daddies’ can play dolls or cars or make-believe. Neither can say no to the innocent requests of their little ones.

You manage to snap some adorable photos. Raph wearing a feathered boa and a silly hat, and Leo with his pinky out sipping a tiny cup of ‘tea’. They both learn how to relax and actually be better parents and surprisingly nicer to each other as well.

Raph and Donnie (Magenta) ❤️💜

A bit of an odd pairing, but we’re doing it. Raph and Donnie would be a similar dynamic to Raph and Mikey except Donnie would be more on board for establishing a routine.

These two might butt heads over education. Donnie would be absolutely serious about making sure the children have a proper education.

Raph would be more lax about it, stating that it’s not a big deal, just teach them to read, that’s all they need, don’t they? He’d figure his children would be raised with just the minimum amount of knowledge like he and his brothers were.

Donnie would vehemently argue that their children deserve way more than just the bare minimum. He’ll get really heated over it, stating that the kids need more than just learning how to punch things.

You will have to step in at this point to calm them down and it might take a few discussions to get Donnie to relax a little and for Raph to embrace the idea that training their minds is just as important as training their bodies.

They can easily split responsibilities on that. Raph and Donnie embrace the idea that their kids will be smart and strong.

In the end, these two are great fathers in supporting their children in whatever they choose to do. They get along well and coexist rather peacefully together.

All Four (Fruit Salad) 💜❤️💙🧡

If you somehow manage a relationship with not one, not two but all four of the brothers, raising children with them will be an interesting affair.

At first you don’t discuss the matter, but after spending mating season with them and giving each one adequate time, you do wind up with a surprise pregnancy.

There’s no telling who the father is though until after the baby is born and all of you do agree to use DNA testing to determine the actual father.

The result does spark a discussion about future children and in the end you agree to give each remaining brother a mating season and a child. It takes a few years of spacing out the pregnancies but each of them will end up with a biological child by the end of it.

Parenting these children actually isn’t as difficult as you might think. It all comes back to the age-old saying: it takes a village to raise a child.

They are a team after all, and they all raise the children collectively as one.

All of them do take advice and pointers from you and try not to undermine each other.

It does take some planning, discussions about schedules and routines to get them all on the same page.

By the end of it the children have four caring, loving fathers who would do anything for their little ones. They all balance each other out quite well.

There’s Mikey’s fun, playful, affectionate nature, Leo’s calm, peaceful demeanor, Raph’s passionate, protective way of being and Donnie’s quiet softness. You get this and more with this type of family dynamic and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Taglist

@danceingfae @thelaundrybitch @iridescentflamingo @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus

@the-cauldron-witch @thepinkpanther83 @avery73 @adebauchedsloth @sophiacloud28

@definitely-canon @scholastic-dragon @truffle-reblogs @fyreball66 @yorshie

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist

#tmnt bayverse #bayverse turtles #bayverse raph #bayverse mikey #bayverse leo #bayverse donnie #aged up characters #poly relationship #reverse harem #parenting #childcare #mily's writing

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moons-and-mobility-aids · 30 days ago

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Content Warnings: Adult content, mostly accurate depictions of being an onlyfans creator (hi, I am one and this chapter in particular is pretty damn accurate), reader is fem, uses a wheelchair, and has cerebral palsy. Taglist: @alohastitch0626, @jspidey5, @laceandsuch, @kneelforloki, @fionaapplelover2010, @nubigenouss

The change is subtle, a gradual shift you might not have noticed if it weren't for the way your heart lingers on every message, every interaction. Prongs's messages are less frequent now. He still comments on your posts and likes your photos, but the flirty banter that used to fill your inbox every day has slowed. You've grown accustomed to his daily presence—the little jokes that made you smile, the teasing exchanges that were the highlights of your day. But over the past week or so, something feels off.

It's not just the absence of Prongs' messages that tugs at your awareness. There's a sense of dissonance, too subtle to pinpoint at first but growing harder to ignore with each passing day. You know Moony and Padfoot are there, always watching, always supporting from the shadows—even if they don't interact directly, their presence is a constant, quiet hum in the background of your life. Through Prongs, you've come to know them all, forming a connection unlike any other, a camaraderie that transcends the superficial bonds often found on platforms like OnlyFans. But now, even their shared energy feels muted, distant, as though they're pulling away.

The realization sits heavily within you, an unwelcome guest that refuses to leave no matter how hard you try to ignore it. The discomfort gnaws at your insides, a persistent itch just out of reach, demanding your attention.

It isn't uncommon for subscribers to vanish, especially those who pay well, engage often, and seem genuinely invested. You've seen it happen countless times before. They immerse themselves in your content, loyally following for weeks or months, only to fade into the backdrop of anonymity from which they came. Sometimes the departure is gradual—a steady retreat marked by less frequent comments and dwindling tips—while other times, it's abrupt. There one day, gone the next.

You know better than to take it personally. It's the nature of the business, after all. People come and go, their interest waning as life pulls them in different directions. But knowing this doesn't make it sting any less, especially when you've begun to see these three not just as subscribers but as individuals with whom you've forged a connection. The sense of loss nags at you, the hollow feeling that accompanies their absence a reminder of the transient nature of online relationships.

You shake it off, pushing back against the wave of disappointment threatening to pull you under. This is part of the job, you remind yourself.

Today, you're going through your notifications, trying to focus on the fans who are still engaging with your content. There's an excitement in the air—your latest posts have sparked a flurry of activity and your recent video has been particularly well-received. As you scroll through, there are plenty of comments to respond to, tips to acknowledge.

But as you sift through the sea of notifications, you're looking for one name in particular: Prongs.

You tell yourself not to expect much. Maybe another like or a quick comment, less personal than before. But there's nothing, just silence. It's been a few days since you've heard from him directly, and while you keep telling yourself it doesn't matter, the knot in your stomach says otherwise.

You shake your head, pressing your fingers to your temples as if that could push the thought away. You can't afford to dwell on this—it's not like you've done anything wrong. Subscribers come and go. That's the reality of the internet. And you've been here before, haven't you? The last thing you need is to start overthinking things.

The day drags on, each moment filled with a strange tension that you can't quite shake. There's a heaviness in your stomach, a sense of anticipation that lingers even when you try to focus on other things. Something is happening, but what? You're not sure, and the uncertainty gnaws at you, leaving you restless.

As evening falls, you find yourself unable to sleep. The house is quiet, save for the occasional hum of passing cars outside, but it does nothing to ease the unease that has taken hold. Your phone buzzes, pulling you from your thoughts, and you reach for it instinctively, hoping for a distraction.

You expect another comment from one of your new followers—maybe someone curious about the latest video or asking for advice on their own projects. But as you unlock your phone and see the notification, your heart stutters. It's not a comment. It's a message. And the sender's name sends a chill down your spine: Prongs.

There's no burst of excitement this time, no thrill of recognition. Instead, there's a different feeling, something akin to relief but also tinged with a thread of caution. After days of silence, you hadn't known what to think. Now, here he is again, reaching out through the digital ether. But why?

Your thumb hovers over the screen, uncertainty flickering in your chest. Then you tap the notification, and the message unfolds before you.

ProngsPlayground_free: Hey, love. Been meaning to talk to you, but I don’t really know how to explain this. The guys and I have been acting kind of weird lately, huh?

You pause, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. This isn't the usual banter you're used to from him. There's a seriousness to his words that makes your stomach flip with unease. It's not like you hadn't noticed—they'd all been quieter, less engaged. But you hadn't expected him to bring it up. People usually just fade away without explanation when they lose interest in a game. The fact that he's mentioning it now, that he's acknowledging something is off, sends a jolt of surprise through you.

For a moment, you consider not responding. After all, you hadn’t asked for an explanation. But curiosity gnaws at you, and despite your best efforts to remain detached, you find yourself typing out a reply faster than you can second-guess yourself.

You: Yeah, I noticed things were a bit quiet. What’s going on? You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, but... I’ve been wondering.

The message sent, you set your phone down on your lap and simply wait, watching the clock on the wall tick away the minutes. The silence feels heavy, like the calm before a storm, and you can't shake off the odd sensation of impending change. But what could it be? A goodbye? An apology?

Then, just as you're about to give up and push the thoughts away, your phone buzzes in your lap. The screen lights up with a notification from them. It's a long message, longer than any they've sent before.

ProngsPlayground_free: It’s just... complicated. I’m sorry if we’ve been distant. We’ve been trying to figure out how to handle something, and we didn’t want to make things weird for you. But I think we’ve just ended up making it weird anyway. 😅 The thing is, we saw you.

Your heart stutters as your eyes dart back to the message again, making sure you read it correctly. *They saw you*? What could he possibly mean by that? There's no way they could have seen you in person—or could they? Wouldn't you have noticed?

You: Saw me? What do you mean?

You tap send, your fingers suddenly unsteady. This is not what you expected. Your mind races, trying to make sense of his words. A heavy feeling tugs at your insides, but you don't know why. You haven't done anything wrong—have you?

The response comes quickly.

ProngsPlayground_free: About a week ago. At the café. We were having breakfast and saw you sitting there. You were reading a book and drinking coffee. You didn’t notice us, but... yeah, we saw you.

Your stomach drops. They saw you at the café? The one tucked away on that quiet side street where your mother used to take you after school? You try to recall the last time you were there—about a week ago, you realise. You'd been engrossed in a novel, sipping your coffee, oblivious to the world around you.

Of course, you wouldn't have known them if you had seen them. How could you? You don’t know their faces, their names, nothing beyond what they choose to share online. The realisation makes your breath catch in your throat.

Your heart thumps in your chest, a little faster, a little harder. You squint at the screen, rereading the words, but their meaning doesn't change. They saw you—in person—and they know more about you than you've ever shared.

Before you can stop yourself, your fingers are flying across the screen.

You: Wait, you saw me? Why didn’t you say anything?

The message sends, and you're left staring at the blinking cursor, waiting for a response. Your mind races—part outrage, part embarrassment, but mostly confusion. Why wouldn't they have said something? Why watch from afar?

And there's a pang of fear too, the kind that comes when privacy is violated. Your wheelchair, the quiet moments you claim as your own—all parts of a life you've kept separate, sacred. You never thought your subscribers would spill over into that world.

ProngsPlayground_free: We didn't want to scare you off. Honestly, we were at a loss ourselves. This distance... it's been a constant in our relationship. You've never seen our faces, and we know you only through the lens you choose to show us. Seeing you there was unexpected. We weren't sure how to react.

The words on the screen blur as you lean back, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. A part of you understands why they didn't say anything before. If the roles were reversed, you're not sure you would have known what to do either.

You've always maintained control over what parts of your life you let seep into this digital world. And now, they've seen something you've never shown them—not because of deceit but because of necessity. There's a wall between your private life and the one you share with these people who know you as you are. They've just caught a glimpse of the other side of that wall.

You return your gaze to the chat window, fingers hovering over the keys. Slowly, you begin to type, each word carefully chosen, a testament to the storm raging inside you.

You: That's... a lot to take in. I can understand why you didn't say anything. Still, it's surprising to hear. I've kept my personal life separate from all this—not because I don't trust you, but because some things are meant to stay private.

The message sends with a finality that leaves you feeling more exposed than you'd like. You've never shared this much with a subscriber before, never let them see the delicate dance between your reality and the persona they pay for. But this isn't about them overstepping—it's about the blurred lines, the encroaching of one world onto another in a way you hadn't anticipated.

A minute passes, then two. The silence stretches out before you until finally, Prongs replies.

ProngsPlayground_free: We understand. And we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to cross a line, and we don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. We’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but we respect your boundaries. If you want us to back off, we’ll understand.

You read their message, a part of you bracing for the relief that should come with their offered distance. But instead of wanting to run, you find yourself drawn in by their sincerity. You have enjoyed getting to know them too, haven't you? And now, with everything out in the open, there's an odd sense of...relief? You blink, surprised at your own reaction.

You sit still for a moment, your eyes scanning Prongs's message again, the words echoing in your mind. They're giving you an out, a chance to put some space between you and them—and yet, you don't want to take it. Despite the strangeness of the situation, you don't feel threatened or upset. Rather, you feel seen, understood, albeit through a lens more intimate than you had ever anticipated.

You: I appreciate that, truly. And for what it's worth, I'm not angry or anything. Just... weird, I guess? I've worked hard to keep these lives separate, and to know you've seen me—seen parts of my life I don't usually share here—it feels like an intrusion, even if unintentionally so. It makes me vulnerable in a way I didn't expect.

You pause for a moment, wondering if you’re oversharing, but then you continue typing.

You: I’m not mad at you for not saying anything, though. I get it. It would’ve been weird for all of us, I guess. But... I hope seeing me like that didn’t change the way you see me online?

The message sends, and you stare at the screen, your heart pounding. There's a vulnerability to this, an exposure you hadn't anticipated when you logged on today. They've seen you outside the curated space of your streams, unfiltered and unaware. It wasn't a side of yourself you ever intended to reveal to them, and now that they've glimpsed it, you can't help but wonder if their image of you has shifted.

The response comes quicker than you expect, and relief washes over you as you realise Prongs hasn't left you hanging.

ProngsPlayground_free: It didn’t change anything. If anything, it made us respect you even more. We’ve always known there’s more to you than what we see online, but seeing you just living your life, being real... it was kind of a reminder that you’re a whole person outside of this.

You exhale, letting the tightness in your chest unwind with the breath. The tension in your shoulders lessens, if only slightly. These words, they offer a comfort you hadn't expected, a reminder that these people aren't just fans or voyeurs seeking to consume one version of you. They see you—really see you—as a person, not just a performer. And somehow, that recognition feels more vital than you ever could have imagined

How to respond is a puzzle you're not sure you can solve just yet. As if sensing your hesitation, the app buzzes again, Prongs' next message appearing on the screen. It's longer this time, more thoughtful.

ProngsPlayground_free: We've been talking among the three of us, and we felt a bit guilty about seeing you without you knowing. It made us realize that we've built a connection with you, but it's always been on your terms, and we respect that. We didn't want to overstep, but seeing you made us realize there's a lot we don't know about you. And that's okay. We're not entitled to know everything. But we want you to know we're here for whatever you're comfortable sharing—whether that's more or if you want to keep things as they are.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding, your eyes scanning the words again and again. There's relief in them, an acknowledgement of the space that exists between creator and fan. There's also something else, something deeper that tugs at corners of your mind—an understanding that feels too personal coming from strangers.

It's unusual, this sense of respect from subscribers who could so easily demand more. But then again, these three have never been ordinary.

Your fingers hover above the keyboard, the tension in your shoulders easing. For the first time since this conversation started, you feel some semblance of control returning.

You: I appreciate that. More than you know. It's strange to think I've let people into my life without even realizing it, but I'm glad it's been you three. You've always been respectful, and that's why I felt comfortable sharing so much with you. You're not just subscribers to me—you feel like friends, even though we've never met.

The message sends, and you sit back, surprised by your own candour yet oddly reassured by it. Over the past few weeks, your interactions with Prongs—and through him, Moony and Padfoot—have stood out from the rest. They've never pushed for more than you were willing to give, and now, in the most unexpected of ways, it seems they've given you something invaluable in return: understanding.

ProngsPlayground_free: We feel the same way, honestly. It’s strange to say because we know it’s different on our end, but we’ve enjoyed getting to know you too. We want you to know that we’re completely okay with keeping things at whatever level you’re comfortable with. Our intention has never been to make you feel awkward or uncomfortable.

The corners of your mouth twitch upward as you read their message, a small smile breaking through the layers of uncertainty. Their words are a balm, soothing the raw edges of your apprehension. They don't demand more; they accept what you offer, and that acceptance grants you a sense of control—an essential element for your peace of mind.

For a moment, you consider letting the conversation rest there, but then another thought crosses your mind.

You: Okay, I have to ask—what did you think when you saw me? Like, was it weird seeing me just sitting there, reading? Did I look... different?

The query feels intimate, almost too much so. But now that they know who you are, it somehow feels okay to ask. To want to understand what it was like for them, seeing a slice of your life you've never shared before.

Prongs' response comes almost immediately, as if he'd been anticipating the question.

ProngsPlayground_free: You didn’t look different at all. Well, maybe a little, but only because we’re so used to seeing you in a different context. Seeing you in real life was... grounding, I guess? You looked like yourself, but not the version we see online. You were just... you. And that was kind of amazing.

The message sits there on your screen, the words blurring slightly as you blink back unexpected emotion. You touch a hand to your throat, feeling the knot there loosen. It's not the answer you expected, but it's the one you needed without realising it. All this time you've been crafting an image, a persona confident and unshakeable. To know they saw you in a moment of quiet, of vulnerability, and recognised you—the real you—without judgment or expectation, is a balm you didn't know you craved.

You straighten up, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you prepare to respond, your heart lighter than it has been in a long while.

You: Thank you for saying that. I think I needed to hear it. I guess I've always worried about what people would think if they saw the real me. It's a relief knowing that wasn't the case with you guys.

There's a finality to your words as you send them off into the digital ether—a sense of closure you didn't anticipate but welcome nonetheless. What seemed tangled and murky just moments ago now holds a clarity that settles over your thoughts, like the calm after a storm. Your connection with Prongs and his friends feels stronger, not despite the revelations, but because of them. They're no longer just fans—they're people who see you, respect you, and understand your boundaries.

A reply pops up on your screen, and Prongs's words bring a small smile to your face.

ProngsPlayground_free: Always, love. 😊

You set your phone aside, letting the soft light from its screen fade into the darkness of your room. A deep breath fills your lungs, a sense of relief washing over you as you exhale slowly, tension uncoiling from your shoulders. The week's stress seems to lift, leaving behind a calm that has been elusive for days.

It's not a guarantee, you know. Things might still shift and change with the boys, with everything. But right now, in this moment, it feels like you're on the same page. All of you.

And for tonight, that's enough.

#Poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x you #Sirius black x reader #Sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #james potter x you #james potter x reader #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfic #beyond the screen

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the-necromancer-wife · 3 months ago

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I've read a lot of theories pointing out that Skully might have grown in an isolated, religious-like community. But I don't think that's the case. Allow me to elaborate:

TW: Spoilers/ long post/ just me analyzing Skully

It's sort of a cliché for Tim Burton films that the main character is a hermit of some sorts. Someone who is not adapted to the society or social conventions and usually lived by themselves or basically under a rock.

A few examples could be: Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows, Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (and Charlie himself), Edward Scissorhands, Jack Skellington and of course Vincent Malloy.

So my hypothesis so far:

>Skully is not only based on Jack Skellington's appearance, but also in Tim Burton's characters archetype:

Skully had a hard time adapting to the enviroment he presumably lived in and presented difficulties with bonding and forming relationships with others his age. At first i was inclined to believe he could be on the spectrum (autism or asperger) and I don't really discard that possibility yet, but I don't think his social difficulties are entirely caused by autism. I think he is visibly different from others in opinions and behaviors and that's why he's labeled as "the weird kid". And "the weird kid" is not always autistic.

He is similar to characters like Edward Scissorhands who grew up isolated and was visibly different. As a result of his enviroment, he didn't know how modern society worked and he was misunderstood and rejected.

This is one of the main elements on every Tim Burton movie: a certain someone that had a different childhood or whose life experiences led them to have a different (sometimes excentric) approach that wasn't socially accepted, although they weren't really hurting others.

The psychologist Lev Vygotsky wrote about how important the enviroment and social interactions were for a child. The difficulties Skully presents are common in those who didn't really get to experience those.

If he had grown in a conservative community, he wouldn't have access to any material related to Halloween. Why would they keep those books around? And if the community was in fact centered around Halloween as a celebration, why would they be labeled as conservative? Either he was raised in a conservative household or he harvested those ideas himself by isolating and reading old books. Which makes sense and leads me to my second hypothesis:

>He's partially twisted from the character Vincent Malloy.

I already explained who Vincent Malloy was in another post but basically he was obsessed with Vincent Price (the horror actor), and had a dark and twisted view of the world as a result of this, plus the isolation and the books he read.

Skully could be somehow twisted from Vincent given his obsession with Jack Skellington and his behavior indicates, as I said before, that he wasn't part of the community he grew in, just like Vincent.

Jack Skellington, the pumpking king, is depicted everywhere as the harbinger of horror and fear, even if Jack himself is rather a sensitive individual that wants to do things differently. The whole Nightmare before Christmas plot revolves around that: People having a wrong view about Jack as a result of him being the Halloween representative and Jack carrying a crown that's too heavy for him.

Vincent Malloy also enjoyed the dark and twisted world of horror and fear. But I'll elaborate more im my next point:

>Skully's mannerisms and obvious gaps in common knowledge come as a result of his isolation as well as him (possibly) reading horror books that also helped to form in him a more gloomy representation of Halloween.

Skully's arcaic mannerisms and language could be from books he read. Just like Vincent Malloy enjoyed to read the books of Edgard Allan Poe and ended up introjecting some of the elements depicted in those novels as well as those represented by Vincent Price (for Skully, Jack Skellington)

Also, little Vincent decided to isolate himself because of how much he enjoyed to play with his imagination, leading him ultimately to the development of a maladaptative daydreaming that consumed him. And of course, the disinterest in playing with other kids since they didn't really share his obsession.

If this is the case and Skully was a kid that grew without contact with his immediate community (his choice or not), that would explain all of his troubles socializing at school.

And also his outdated knowledge on many things. Is not that he was born long ago before magic stones were a thing, but more likely HE didn't know magic stones existed. At some point he abandoned his solitude, of course. Maybe when he started school.

>His parents and/or relatives are not really involved that much in his life.

It's kinda obvious by now, but Skully could come from a family that neglected him emotionally or materially. If that's the case, it would explain a lot.

>It would explain his poor dental hygiene, as nobody teach him how to take care of his teeth and lips properly. As the clothes are provided by the book we can't really tell if he was wearing modest or elegant clothing before he entered that place. But why would the book would alter his mouth's appearance? The only obvious answer is that it didn't and Skully doesn't know how to brush his teeth, one of the first things a parent should teach their child to do.

>It would explain why he was isolated for so long. Either he isolated himself or was recluded by his parents. Either way, his parents should have known better than to leave him locked up from the outside world or should have intervened to help him interact with others.

>In the case he had a turbulent relationship with his parents or they were emotionally unavailable, that would explain why he developed his hyperfixation. Looking forward to a historical figure like Jack could be a result of him not feeling identified with neither a mother figure or a father figure. Of course this is a very very flexible statement as this is not always the case.

Anyway, everything I said here could be accurate or not. This are just my considerations given the information i have so far.

#skullyjgraves #twst #skully j graves #skully j. graves #twst skully

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ithseem · 2 months ago

Text

Scars

Summary: Alan's been dealing with intrusive thoughts and is spiralling deep into self-loathing. Maybe you can help to ease that?

Genre: Hurt/comfort

Rating: teen and up

Content warnings: brief depictions of murder, blood, self-loathing, intrusive thoughts, low self esteem, depictions of physical and emotional scars, angst

crossposted to ao3

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Alan hadn't exactly been dealt the best hand in life. Growing up, he got into more than his share of scrapes, earning scars from some of them. He supposed this was to be expected, given his circumstances, so he never really paid them any mind. That is, until the night he committed the greatest atrocity—he had taken a life. With his bare hands, no less. Though he was unscathed, he could never see his scars in the same indifferent light again. Now all he could do was swallow his horror and disgust and carry on with his day. Sometimes literally, as bile would often threaten to climb up his throat.

Being the captain of Vagastrom did have some of its perks, though. None of his dorm mates really gave much thought to his scars. Although, some of them were fascinated by them, much to his dismay. Was this really all they saw? Just battle scars? Trophies of a life hard-lived? The thought churned his stomach, bile rising as he clenched his fists, the jagged lines on his knuckles mocking him. They didn’t understand—how could they? These weren’t badges of honor. They were brands, seared into his skin by the worst thing he’d ever done.

Part of him wanted them to at least see what it was like. To have their hands sullied by blood and dirt. To see the look of utter disbelief and betrayal upon their victim’s face. To have that feel as if that blood permanently caked onto their hands. To have those images burned into their retinas. But he still knew that no matter how much anger simmered inside him—at his dorm mates for their casual fascination or, more often, at himself—he couldn’t wish the same fate upon them. The thought of any of them committing an act as vile as murder made his chest tighten. He couldn’t bear the idea of them waking up to bloodied hands, unable to scrub the memory clean, condemned to carry the unbearable weight of their own guilt if they survived jail time. The scars might heal, but the rot inside never did. And the intrusive thoughts of wanting them to experience that just cemented that for him SO firmly.

And then you came into the picture. Little did Alan expect that things would take a massive turn after meeting you. He would sometimes catch you watching him absently stare at his hands. At first you would look away, and quite frankly, he wished it would stay that way. You having that level of fear of him would make things a lot easier for him, but his own desire to have you around told him otherwise. Why did you have to get so comfortable around him? Why did he let himself get so… attached to you? And why do you look at his hands with concern? He’s the last person who needs, or rather, deserves any semblance of concern, let alone from you. Your neck is constantly on the line even without the curse, so why spend any thought on him?

“...Lan.”

“Alan?”

“Earth to Alan?”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. That’s right… You were supposed to be reviewing documents with him. He looked at your pile of unfinished documents and noticed the difference between yours and his own. How long was he spacing out?

“Is... Is everything okay?” You asked. There you go again, showing him undeserved worry.

“Yeah…” he replied. “Just a little spaced out.”

You stared at him uncomprehendingly before ultimately deciding to take a small break. It’s not like staring at his hands while a stack of documents sat in front of him would accomplish anything, so he agreed. But what you said next really took him aback.

“Can I see your hands please?”

“Um… Okay?”

He held out his hands toward you, although not without hesitation. His fingers suddenly felt a lot heavier than normal. Immediately your fingers traced over the lines over his scars and his breath hitched. In any normal circumstance, he’d melt into your soft, warm hands without any hesitation. They were a balm to his larger, more calloused ones, but right now all he wanted to do was pull away from you. You were the last person who deserves to have their own hands sullied by his. As if the blood from his own hands would stain your own. Of course, this was cruel for him as well, since your kindness and gentle hands were a reminder of everything he craved. But he didn’t deserve this from you. And you didn’t deserve the sins seeping from his hands onto your own. As if your own curse wasn’t enough. Why do you have to dirty your own hands willingly? His thoughts drifted to the times he absent-mindedly patted your head, and he sensed the bile burning in his chest again.

You must have sensed Alan was starting to pull away, so you tighten your grip slightly.

“Please give me a moment,” you said, the lines of concern becoming more pronounced. Alan didn’t like where this was going. At least, that’s what he told himself.

You reached for a pen and started to scribble something on his hands where his scars were. “What are you doing?” he muttered, his brow furrowing slightly.

He watched as the pen rather clumsily glided across his hands. But the strokes still had purpose behind them, and even he could tell that much. He was too entranced to say anything as he watched the small, intricate shapes materialize. You soon stopped once you covered all the scars you could see on his hands. His hands and his chest suddenly felt lighter, much to his own shock.

“Why did you do that…?” Alan muttered.

“I don’t know what you’ve been through exactly,” You replied. “But I can’t just sit idly by while you’re suffering!”

“You-”

“You may see yourself as a monster, but I know that’s not true.” It didn’t look like you were going to back down. He let you carry on knowing you had a lot more to say. A lot more lies. But he couldn’t help but feel comforted.

“Even if the rumours are true, that you killed someone, it’s clear that you regret doing it. So much so that it’s going to consume you. I don’t know the full backstory behind these scars, but I don’t want you to look at them with so much disgust.”

It looks like you were holding back tears at this point. But still you kept going.

“These are the same hands that saved me and Sho from Takeru. I like how they feel when you pat my head. They helped me to stay grounded while I was spiralling in my own thoughts. So please…”

The words seem to have gotten stuck in your throat.

“You shouldn’t feel sad for me,” Alan finally said, unable to look you in the eye. “I don’t deserve it.”

But you were more stubborn than he expected. You shook your head, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over. “Don't say that,” you said. Your voice was trembling, but it was steady enough to carry the weight of your words. “You think you’re beyond saving, that you don’t deserve kindness, but that’s not your choice to make. You mean something to me, to Sho, to everyone who’s still here because of you.”

Alan’s throat tightened as he looked away, his jaw clenching. He wanted to argue, to throw your words back at you, but he couldn’t. The tears that welled in your eyes only seemed to fuel your resolve.

“Stop it,” he muttered, his voice cracking. “Stop making me out to be someone I’m not. I don’t want you to…” He trailed off, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I don’t want you to look at me like that. Like… Like I’m worth something.”

You reached out, your fingers brushing against his hand, tentative yet firm. ”But you are worth something. You just can’t see it right now. I know you’ve made mistakes—ones I can’t begin to imagine—but you’re still here, trying. That’s more than a lot of people can say.”

He flinched at your touch but didn’t pull away this time. His heart ached, torn between the comfort of your words and the crushing weight of his guilt. “You don’t know what I’ve done,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“I don’t need to know everything,” you replied, your hand wrapping gently around his own. “I just need to know who you are now. And right now, you’re someone who’s hurting, someone who’s trying to carry the weight of the world alone. You don’t have to do that anymore.”

For a moment, the room was silent. The warmth of your hand seeped into his, a reminder of something he thought he’d lost long ago. He hated himself for craving it, for letting your words sink in even just a little.

“I…” His voice faltered. He didn’t know what to say. Alan had heard of the phrase "kill them with kindness,' but right now he thinks you might quite literally do that to him.

“You’re not alone, Alan,” you said softly, your tears finally spilling over. “And no matter how much you push me away, I’m not going to leave you behind.”

He closed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. Maybe he didn’t deserve this. But for the first time, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to fight it anymore. Right now he let himself succumb to the warmth of your embrace. That's all he needed at the moment.

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A/N: Wow. That was a doozy to write. Hope you enjoyed

Also edited to make the story tighter

#ithseem writes #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker fanfiction #alan mido #alan mido x reader #tokyo debunker x reader #tokyo debunker x mc #angst #hurt/comfort

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jermer10 · 4 months ago

Note

Yandere Scout with a civilian reader?

TF2 yandere scout x civilian reader

18+ only, gn reader | yandere scout my beloved

tw: yandere themes, stalking, graphic depictions of violence, non-consensual sexual activity

drabbles under the cut :P

Being the 10th class, 'The Civilian', you’re someone different, special in a way that the others aren't

You work behind the scenes, cleaning up the battlefield after each fight, being escorted from point A to B with sensitive information by whichever team had you for that week

Thus, Scout quickly becomes fixated, convinced that he’s the only one who can understand and protect you

His mind is always on you. During missions, downtime, and even in the middle of conversations with the team, you occupy his every thought

He imagines every scenario where he’s the one protecting you, keeping you safe, and, most importantly, keeping you his

Scout makes it a point to always know where you are, even when you think you’re alone he's there, watching from the shadows

You might think you hear footsteps behind you or feel eyes on you, but every time you look, no one's there, you start to spiral into a paranoid mess

Scout steps in as your personal confidant, gaslighting you into believing you're having some sort of stress related psychotic episode

His stalking becomes more brazen over time, but he always plays it off like it’s no big deal

Scout’s obsession with you knows no boundaries - most nights he sneaks into your room and watches you sleep (and yes, he touches himself to you)

He’s careful not to wake you, his eyes scanning every detail, convinced that no one else could ever appreciate you the way he does

Escalated from jerking off behind you, to rubbing his cock on your lips, to using your thighs as a fleshlight

He intentionally cums on pieces of clothing from your closet, he doesn't care if you notice, if you take them to Medic for analysis - the samples always seem to go missing anyway

Some nights he drugs you with the intention of actually fucking you, but he can never work up the courage, wanting to save your first time together for when you're officially his

His biggest fantasy is having you beg for him, he wants you to obsess over him in the way he does to you

He hates when anyone else talks to you, especially if you seem to enjoy their company

If another mercenary spends too much time around you, Scout gets jealous and finds ways to interrupt - whether it’s a poorly timed joke, pretending to need something urgently, or picking a fight with them, he won’t stop until they leave you alone

Scout likes to take little items as trophies or souvenirs, something to remind him of you when you’re not around (often repeatedly cumming on the items - marking his territory)

He feels entitled to your personal space and has no qualms about going through your things when you’re not there, sitting so close to you he's basically on top of you, hugging you and touching you without asking

If you ask for space or mention feeling uncomfortable he stops talking to you for days, making threatening and suicidal comments when you're in earshot

Eventually you apologize to him, and he makes sure you know how happy he is that you've "come to your senses"

"I dunno why you'd even think somethin' as stupid as that in the first place, I don't make ya uncomfortable, you're probably just feelin' totally flattered, babe! It's okay, sometimes I can't tell the difference either."

His obsession escalates into paranoia - he becomes convinced that everyone around you is trying to take you away from him

Even innocent interactions are blown out of proportion in his mind, and he’ll go to great lengths to ensure no one gets too close

He will sabotage others’ efforts to spend time with you, spreading rumors or even manipulating situations so that they’re pushed out of your life

It seems like everyone has picked up on his irrational behaviour except you, and god help the soul who tries to warn you, so they stay away and hope that his "crush" passes

If he feels like you’re pulling away or that someone else is threatening his claim on you, he might snap

In a worst-case scenario, he could take matters into his own hands, kidnapping you and isolating you somewhere he believes no one can hurt you

To Scout, everything he’s doing is out of love - his intense possessiveness, his constant stalking, and even the lengths he’s willing to go to keep you close are all justified in his mind

#ask #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 imagines #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #jermer10 #tf2 scout #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 scout x you #yandere

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coralinnii · 2 years ago

Text

❋ If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice ❋

feat: Lilia genre: mild hurt/comfort, slow burn romance note: sequel to reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy AU Lilia ver, no pronouns used, Lilia is depicted as his older appearance with long hair, human!reader, mentions of minor injuries unintentionally inflicted on reader, 1.6k word count

I liivvveee! For now, anyway. I still have my job projects and finals are upon me but I finally found some time to myself so I hope you enjoy another addition to the Villain/ess!series. I might end up failing a class but I know it’s not the end of the world for me and I really enjoyed the class so I wouldn’t mind retaking the class.

Yeaa...this did not end up as domestic fluff

WARNING: This part has kinda hard-to-read topics regarding children and childrearing. Sometimes parents, guardians, caretakers and/or other children accidentally get injured by a child and the child doesn’t know how to get over that. We never want to blame the child for these mistakes but we want to make sure they can learn to avoid such mistakes again. This is an odd case since these are fictional non-human characters and some people can view Lilia as too harsh or see MC/reader as too lenient. I’ve seen parents approach this concern differently and honestly to me, the next course of action is never easy to figure out without truly discussing with the child and those involved. I'm not saying whose method is right or wrong, I just wrote what would be the best course of action in this scenario. You might have your own opinions or approaches. Read at your own risk

A lot has happened since your first visit to the Vanrouge household. Lilia surprised you by taking both of you into his home, protecting you while helping to raise the young Yung. He offered a room to the small dragon and one for yourself (though Yung still prefers to sleep in your bed with you).

Speaking of Yung, he was still wary of Lilia and his servants, choosing to hide himself in your embrace or behind your legs. He refused to speak to anyone and if he needed something, he would whisper into your ears and being the pampering type, you would oblige.

“Dear me, he seems to have really imprinted himself on you” Lilia chuckled casually but then he quickly hardened his gaze and the conversation turned more serious. “However, if he does not grow out from this phase, he may end up unable to control his dragon side and hurt himself or you”

This worries you as you know due your knowledge from your previous life that Yung will grow to be very powerful but he fell victim to his own strength and destroyed himself with his power.

Distressed, you begged Lilia to give his guidance as the former guardian of the Dragon King and with a playful smile, he gave an offer to you.

“Very well, I will be his guide. But as a fair trade of service, why don’t you become my attendant? This would occupy your time and perhaps young Yung could use this to be a little more independent?”

And thus began Yung’s days of torture as your new job constantly took precious time from him by Lilia. Yung can no longer ask for walks with you because you’re needed to look over some paperwork with the duke. Nights where you would lull him to sleep were getting less and less as Lilia requested your assistance in looking over some schedule details before the new day. And even when Yung gets to hang out with you, Lilia would almost always be there to monopolize your attention.

At first, you decided to trust the young(?) duke and his tactics since you did come to him for his guidance anyway. Despite the rather playful demeanor he seems to have, Lilia seemed so confident to you and assured you time and time again that this is a rite of passage of sorts for fae like him and Yung since powerful beings like them must learn self-control before anything else.

But self-control continues to elude Yung and it wasn’t long before the cute little dragon decided enough was enough.

“Wuv is mine! Mister duke go away!”

To the best of his ability, Yung wrapped his short arms around your waist as he screamed at the duke. If Yung was any normal child, his growth would have been unprecedented as he was already walking (to chase after you and Lilia) and speaking fairly comprehensible sentences (to yell at Lilia). But as a fae, this was a typical growth spurt, quickly growing stronger and bigger than a typical human to ensure his survival. His physical strength was more obvious to you right now as the young child was unintentionally tightening his grip on you which started to hurt.

“Yung, l-love” you tried to speak but it came out as a short gasp as the small fae ignored your call. His hands, while small, kept digging through your clothes and into your skin which made you wince slightly. You tried other means of grabbing the young one’s attention but all was moot as all of Yung’s focus zeroed in on Lilia alone, his eyes glowing a slightly menacing color and a glare reminiscent of a dragon ready to defend his territory.

“Sigh…you are still a foolish child”

In an instant, the pain in your sides lessened as you found yourself in the arms of the duke instead of Yung’s hold. Both you and Yung were shocked by this sudden change of the situation. How did neither of you notice Lilia as he somehow managed to rip you out from the young dragon’s grip without his notice or harming you in the process?

“Are these the skills of an experienced fae?”

After looking over you for any major injuries, Lilia sighed again with slight disappointment, reminiscent of a father figure upset with a child that nearly broke something precious. “How can you protect your treasure when you can’t even protect them from yourself?”

Following Lilia’s previous line of sight, Yung’s heart sank when he saw the torn fabric of your outfit. With his extraordinary senses, he caught glimpses of red lines across your skin through the ripped clothing. He instinctively reached out his small hand to you but saw his nails were longer and sharper, like talons of a dragon.

He hurt you. He hurt you. He hurt you.

Yung broke into tears as those words cycled in his head, haunting him for his crime. You were instinctively pushing yourself from Lilia by the sound of his cries, running to enclose your arms around the poor fae child, holding him while softly giving words of comfort.

“Love, I’m alright. It was an accident, I know that”

But Yung continued to sob and he apologized profusely, his voice getting sore from his cries. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Lilia stood still behind you, watching silently as you continued to console your child, wiping Yung’s tears and holding his small, shaking hands.

Night came and Lilia visited you in your room once the family doctor was done tending to your scratches. The head of the manor immediately called for the doctor but you refused to show your injuries while Yung was still panicking over the incident. It was only when Yung calmed down and stayed with him until he fell asleep in his room. You kept your smile as you downplayed your wounds, not letting Yung blame himself.

When Lilia entered your room with your permission, he shocked you as he said something unexpected.

“I’m sorry.” He even bowed his head to you, showing the sincerity of his words.

You replied with confusion in your voice. “Pardon? What for?”

“I expected that Yung was getting possessive of you but I didn’t think that you would get this hurt in my attempt to distance you two. I should have intervened sooner”

Lilia held this guilt throughout the day, ashamed that he roped you into his little test for the dragon fae. He knew raising a powerful fae will be a rough journey, taking his experience from caring for Malleus. But if Lilia were the one to get hurt, it would be but a scratch that would heal in an instant. Whatever Yung would do, Lilia can handle it with ease.

But you weren’t fae. You were a human that bleed at the lightest touch from his kind, that break much too easily, and perish much too soon.

“You should leave this manor” Lilia stated with an uncharacteristically serious tone. “I will find a comfortable inn for you to stay in and provide other essentials until you can find another living situation to your liking”

“Wait a minute!” You jumped from your seat, your mind thrown for a loop. “I can’t just leave, what will happen to Yung? It'll break his heart! I didn’t mean to inconvenience your grace and your plans but I’ll be care-“

“Do you not understand the dangers of your situation?” Lilia’s tone was ice cold. “You nearly bled from what Yung thought was a childish hug. What if he were to get angry one day and suddenly knock you unconscious? He is not a mere human child but a fae, and a strong one as well. You are a human that may die by his own hands”

Silence filled your room as the weight of Lilia's words sink in.

You won’t lie, Yung’s nails were painful and your wounds still sting even after treatment. In the story from your past memories, Yung’s power will be on par with the current Dragon King, with the power to move mountains and call upon flames that would leave nothing in its path. Yung will continue to grow stronger and nothing you, a powerless human, can do that will be able to stop him.

But still…

“I stayed silent because I didn't know what would be good for Yung. But damn it, I love that child! As long as he needs me, I’ll be there for him” you locked eyes with the long-haired fae with determination. “He’ll become stronger, but he wouldn't hurt others. He is a happy, kind child"

"And how will you ensure that?"

"I will be there to make sure he stays that way” you made a bold choice, but you're confident in this. You were confident in your little Yung that he will go against his ending in that story nonsense of your previous world.

Crossing your arms, you made another bold comment.

“Besides…you still agreed to guide him. So, this will be a team effort” You were testing your luck but you assumed that should anything like today happen again, then you could always hide behind the great general Vanrouge. That's a team, right? Being able to depend on them during tough patches?

But Lilia stayed quiet and chose to simply match your stare with his. It was intimidating to have such an attractive man look at you with such intensity but you held your ground. You puffed out your chest and refused to look away from Lilia’s admittedly beautiful ruby-coloured eyes.

Then…Lilia giggled.

“Lilia, the renowned general…giggled….and it was so cute?!”

You were taken aback when you saw a soft smile crept onto Lilia’s lips, so different from his mischievous grin whenever he scares you from behind during work or the confident smirk when he wins a round of a card game that you introduced to him from your original world. You were upset, offended even that he would giggle at your proud proclamation to care for Yung. But wow, he was really attractive doing so.

Not noticing your conflicted expression (or choosing to ignore it), Lilia placed a hand on your head, closer to your forehead, then moved slowly to caress your head. His touch was so gentle, careful not to scratch you or add unnecessary pressure.

“He’s good at holding back his strength” you thought, only having heard the stories of the unbeatable general. Lilia is a playful man but his power is impressive even among other fae so this gentle side of him was a pleasant surprise to you.

“Goodness gracious, I wonder if this is where Yung gets his audaciousness from?” Lilia had a shine in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you, almost as though he was captivated by what he saw. “I look forward to your cooperation then, teammate”

#twst x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #villainess au #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #lilia vanrouge #lilia x yuu

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worldunbent · 3 months ago

Text

chapter notes - matoba seiji

a compilation of all of midorikawa's chapter notes concerning matoba (as of volume 29)

all are from the official viz releases, translated by lillian olsen.

Chapters 23 - 26 - Inhuman Thing I didn't have a chance to write a story about Matoba until now due to page constraints or manga cycling issues in the magazine. I had fun when I finally got around to it. Matoba's appearance means Natori's hardships become more obvious. Natori settled upon his current philosophy after a lot of reflection. But then he sees Natsume wrestling with the same choices and slogging through the same place he used to be, and it's both amusing and frustrating at the same time for him. Natsume might realize this and not be able to presume so much on his kindness. Natsume and Natori are left with a problem, so l hope to take my time drawing them dealing with it.

Volume 9 (General afterword) I enjoyed drawing a bit about Matoba. He has several titles. He’s the organizer of the assembly of exorcists, so he’s called “Chairman” during the meetings. He’s the young head of the family from a regular human perspective, and known as the leader of his clan to yokai. Natsume has been more relaxed lately, so it’s very fun to draw something tense like this once in a while. I’d like to write thoroughly about exorcists some time when I have the opportunity. Seeing Matoba and Natori side by side here, they’re clearly eccentrics. I’m relieved that Natsume seems normal by comparison.

Chapters 52 - 54 - Behind the Chains Natsume is now able to face a variety of things. But I also feel that the distance between him and Natori grows each time they encounter one another. They see the same things and hope for the same outcome, but because their paths are a little different, it's hard for them to take action when they're together. It's a strange feeling. I'm sure Natori wants to remain Natsume's ally, and Natsume wants the same with Natori. I'm happy I got to draw more about Matoba, too. Whereas Natori tries to do what's right and is afraid of making a mistake, I think Matoba is the kind of person who doesn't fear making mistakes.

Chapter 77 - The Two Rings This was another story I had always wanted to do, but the timing never worked out, so I was very happy to get to it now. When I'm drawing Natsume, I always agonize over his dialogue and pick his words carefully. But when I'm drawing the Matoba clan, I don't have to think about the impression they're making, and I just use words that pop up in my head. Mr. Natori is somewhere in between. It's always a bit refreshing to draw the exorcists. I hope people form their opinions of Mr. Matoba based on what's on the page. In good ways and bad, he's a character who lies but is also uninhibited.

Special Episode 17 - A Hand Extended They let me do another episode of Natori as a high school student. There was another anecdote I wanted to include, but it wouldn't fit, no matter how hard I tried to rearrange things. Still, I'm happy I could depict more of Natori and Matoba's relationship. Sometimes you can't come to an understanding with a person, but once you become aware of your own feelings, you can often begin to be more objective. Then you start to see aspects of the person that change your mind, which is natural. But unlike Natsume, Natori can be stubborn and won't allow his feelings to change. It was interesting to see how Natori would feel about the aloof and unwavering Matoba.

Special Episode 19 - An Abandoned Station in the Rain With 16 pages, the plot could have felt too similar to other Special Episodes, so I decided to do a simple story just about running into someone unexpected. It was fun showing Matoba being himself. Mr. Matoba knows yokai who live in a slightly different world from the one Natsume knows, and Nyanko Sensei knows both worlds. I'd like to do more stories about the two of them.

Chapters 92 - 94 - The House of Promises I have a memory of some boys climbing the gate of the town hall to pick some loquats at the end of spring and getting scolded. I made it seem like spring when the chapter appeared in the magazine, but then I heard that loquats ripen in early summer, so my older sister helped me race to redraw the clothing into something more summery before the graphic novel release. I enjoyed drawing the exorcists. Mr. Natori just can't catch a break and Mr. Matoba has many things going for him, but he often gets shut out. They don't really get along, and they're skeptical of each other even when real empathy is extended. Natsume is always at least trying to listen, so conversations are easier with him present. No matter what, Mr. Natori is older, and Mr. Matoba is younger. End of story. When I include the exorcists, there are all these dilemmas and convolutions that make things complicated and fun to draw. It feels fresh to me. I get nostalgic for the first time Natsume and Mr. Natori met when they're together. Their bond is getting deeper, but it was easier before for Mr. Natori to casually invite Natsume on outings. When you know someone a long time, there are more things to say, but sometimes, just as many things remain unsaid.

Chapters 103 - 104 - Where Vessels Lie in Slumber* I was so happy to work on a longer story for once. My head starts filling up with what to do next while I'm still working on the current episode. when I'm in one-shot mode. But being able to linger on a story arc reminded me of the excitement I felt back when I first wanted to be a manga artist. I still have a lot of storylines I'd prefer not to cut short, so I hope I get more opportunities like this. I've wanted to do this particular story for a long time, but. I feel like it could only be done now because of how Natsume's currently feeling. I hope you can pick up on how Natori and Matoba's relationship changes subtly depending on the situation, and that you get a feel for their solidarity as exorcist peers. It was so fun drawing everything I wanted to include: Natsume's faith in his friends; Natori's belief that he can still offer help even as an exorcist; Matoba, who's sometimes prevented from action because he knows and sees too much; Tanuma, who's surely able to help, but is unable to accompany Natsume; the cats protecting their secret; Nyanko Sensei. And of course there were even more things I wanted to expand on, so I'll take my time working them out.

*The first three chapters of this arc are in the previous volume and there's not enough in the other note for me to include.

#natsuyuu.txt #natsume yuujinchou #natsume's book of friends #matoba seiji #horrible exorcists #the one from volume 9 is my favorite #'what weirdos. thank god natsume is normal.'#well that and house of promises but that one mostly just makes me ill #i don't think the part of portrait arc that's in v30 says much about him #and i have no idea what the v31 afterwords say so let's check back this time next year. maybe #afterwords

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escapedaudios · 5 months ago

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Yapping about Ash and Lexi

Did you notice! In Ashley's depression playlist, every song relates to his relationship with Lexi in some way and his stages of letting her go. When he's speaking to Denny's, the last song that plays before Risk by Metric is A Pearl by Mitski and the order was very intentional. Listen to them side by side and pay attention to the lyrics! You'll see both Ash and Lexi's mental progression play out between the songs.

The previous two songs that play before that (while Denny's is listening to Ash and Lexi through the door) represent Lexi's point of view. They are Don't Speak by No Doubt and Baby Teeth by Flower Face. You can see her perspective through there, and you're meant to empathize with her. It's the first scene where you see that under all her malice and her seemingly unbreakable confidence she is human and vulnerable and filled with regret. You start to understand why Ash had such a hard time letting her go when you see that there's more to her than the antagonistic and manipulative side of her that you've been exposed to. There are layers of unseen complexity to their relationship.

She really was a bad person, but she also really loved him. I might do a flashback sometime depicting them pre-breakup to examine her more. Her downfall came from getting a taste of the feeling that she possessed and controlled him, and enjoying the feeling of pushing the edges of what he would tolerate a little too much. When she loses Ash, she pretends not to care to uphold her image of control, but in private she grieves. When she greets Ash with a smile at the audition, she feels actual pain when he groans at seeing her, but she hides it to keep appearing confident and in control. She's terrified by the idea of someone taking her place by simply deserving what she wants more than she does. She cries in secret to the exact same songs Ash does and checks her phone waiting for a missed call or message from him that never comes. After their breakup, she grows and changes for the better, but it's too late and she still has to suffer the consequences and regret of loss.

Anyway I love Lexi. Partly because I have a soft spot for humanizing the glittery mean girl stereotype, but also because she's so ripe for character work involving becoming a better person just for the sake of it and not because you have anything to gain. She will be back in Thad's series playing a very different part in the story, but still being her iconic self.

#alexis petrov my beloved mean girl #escaped audios #my greasefire life #secret lore

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tossawary · 5 months ago

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Tried watching some of "Star Trek: Enterprise" during work (that's the pre-Kirk one). The emphasis on the fact that Humans and Vulcans have been acquainted for, what, 100 years or so...? Like, okay, this show is going to be about various Human and Vulcan characters learning to get along over the course of the show, I presume, so the show wants them to have a very rocky start. I get that. "Star Trek" is constructed by writers to be a vehicle for heavy-handed "why can't we all just get along" messages and always has been, and that it why it is (and I mean this both positively and negatively) Like That.

But the fact that Vulcans and Humans are apparently so poorly acquainted (and yes, obviously, this is happening in the context of potential conflict with the Klingons and Humans launching out into the rest of space, so tempers are running high) even after all this time is... somewhat amusingly nonsensical from an in-universe, more realistic perspective. It's funny.

Firstly, you'd think that a supposedly logic-based culture that prioritizes cooperation for the purpose of communal betterment (the Vulcans) would have worked out by now that Humans are not going to suddenly all take to the teachings of Surak, and so would have efficiently adjusted their rhetoric to more effectively appeal to Human perspectives. Experienced Vulcans would adapt to structure their explanations and arguments slightly differently, surely?

Like, wow, there's not a single Vulcan ambassador who has studied styles of Human argument and personally found it logical to "speak their language" a little more rather than make huffy appeals to Vulcan authority? Any Vulcan anthropologists or sociologists seeking to understand Human cultures? Realistically, there's no way that all Vulcans would agree 100% of the time on what is logical behavior and what isn't. Some Vulcans might decide that smiling puts Human colleagues at ease and do so (even if they shouldn't HAVE to, Humans shouldn't expect Vulcans to perform emotions for them), because it makes cooperation easier, which is logical.

But that's just not what the writers want here. Which is fine! They want their rocky start here. They're doing their usual "why can't we all just get along" arc, which is fine and great and I'm fond of it, even if I also personally find that "Star Trek" has been incredibly clumsy about their anti-racism stuff most of the time.

(So many shows typically have one Vulcan character regularly on the ship, rather than have, say, two Vulcans with different opinions on things in order to explore interesting discussions on cultural differences and the definitions of "logic". It makes the shows' depictions of Vulcan logic feel a little "tell, don't show" sometimes. I think it's a missed opportunity. Just as it's a missed opportunity not to put neurodivergent Human characters on a ship so aliens and androids don't have to be the stand-ins all the time.)

Anyway, secondly, you'd think that Humans would all know by now that Vulcans don't like handshakes? There's a scene where a Human tries to shake a Vulcan's hand and she ignores him, and I was like, "Okay, wow, INCREDIBLY rude to offer a Vulcan a handshake."

(Side note: I am aware that "Star Trek" repeatedly has Vulcans engage in handshakes with Humans, such as during first contact and when Spock is being introduced to Kirk in "Strange New Worlds", but it always reads to me as Vulcans choosing to go along with the gesture out of politeness. I still think it's a little rude for Humans to offer a handshake in the first place, if they can't accept a refusal with good grace. Plenty of real people across different cultures really don't like handshakes.)

And for an audience member unfamiliar with "Star Trek" and Vulcans, especially a USAmerican, the Vulcan silently refusing the handshake is going to come off as incredibly rude. I haven't watched further but I assume that this scene was intentionally written to demonstrate the issue of culture clash. Two people can deeply offend the other without fully meaning to do so. I'm guessing the Human didn't know just how rude he was being offering the handshake and that the show will elaborate on this.

But, realistically, I cannot fully suspend my disbelief that Humans and Vulcans have been acquainted for 100 years without it being common knowledge that Vulcans don't like handshakes. That would be absurd. Some Vulcan ambassador, familiarizing themselves with Human cultures, would have realized by now that it would not be offensive to inform Humans that, like many Human cultures, Vulcans do not like to make physical contact. And realistically, the Human liaisons, presumably trained diplomats who understand basic politeness and courtesy, would have been like, "We apologize for any previous offense. We didn't know. How do you prefer to be greeted? We will inform our people not to offer you handshakes again and to respectfully greet you in the manner of your preference."

I don't know if these Human characters know yet that Vulcans are touch-telepaths. The Vulcans would not have to share that information to make it politely clear that they don't like handshakes. If it IS known by Humans that Vulcans are touch-telepaths (it would be on their Future Wikipedia page), you'd think people prejudiced against Vulcans would be very aware of the telepatht and more inclined than most not to make physical contact.

Personally, realistically, I would think that any Human expected to make contact with Vulcans would have received a mandatory briefing on manners and basic cultural different. Any Human officer on a ship expected to go make contact with currently hostile KLINGONS and other known Non-Human cultures should be thoroughly educated in basic rules of interaction, for the safety of the ship if not basic civility. So, any Human officer offering a handshake to a Vulcan is either being intentionally disrespectful or is just incompetent (doesn't already know basic facts about the culture of Earth's first, longest, and closest ally) (didn't read the cultural briefing).

This happens in front of the Human captain too, so either the captain doesn't care to call out the offense and apologize (seems likely, he seems pretty hostile here so far) or didn't know it was offensive. Which is also just... stunningly unprofessional for someone who is supposed to be an ambassador for the entire planet of Earth.

And again, the episode is presumably intentionally constructed this way so that the characters can get to know each other later and learn to get along where the audience can observe them. Every single "Star Trek" show I've watched has had protagonist characters be prejudiced and even bigoted in clumsy ways that feel like they ought to be textbook cases of "What NOT To Do" in Starfleet Academy classes, so that the show can deliver basic messages about how prejudice is bad and we all have the potential for it and we can all get better. It is "Star Trek"'s whole thing. "Star Trek: Enterprise" isn't at all alone on this, because all of the shows have done this.

But my goodness is it amusing when a "Star Trek" episode presents a cultural clash problem that more realistically speaking probably would have been better settled about 100 years ago in-universe.

#tossawary star trek #long post #tossawary watching

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t34-mt · 5 months ago

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What jewelry do kyhuines and maanuls have?

and what jewelry do humans have? many various ones that are influenced by the environment, history in terms of current fashion, current movements, beliefs and etc... same goes for them! but aside from the boring answer:

pre-alp traverse traditional jewlery by maanuls might share a common theme of being centered around the sea despite the various cultures, because maanuls lifestyle and everything they need revolve around the sea. People live near it, people live in structures at shores or in the sea, people may be part of sea-fearing ethnic groups who spend their lives out there on boats. some seafearing communities are more stationary than others but the life on a boat remains. Pre-alp traverse and first contact with kyhuines, maanuls lives depended on the oceans only. and it reflects in their art forms and folklore a lot. which include jewelry, from literal depictions of an animal from the shore to just more vague imagery, or usage of shells, the ocean can be found through many pieces of jewelry across the globe.

earings are very common among maanuls, the triangle skin hoods over their ears can be pierced. Although that defeats their purpose of blocking water once flattened against their temples, not that it was efficient at its job to begin with either way, so it's not a big loss of functionality in the end. Much like human lobes they have to be careful with the weight of their earrings. Because they can always risk having it slowly rip because of gravity. I guess for them it might take longer. Since gravity is lower its not pulling on it as hard as it is on earth. And the pierced ear hole sits on top of a cartilage ridge.

piercings? yes, maanuls are half made out of skin, and piercings are plausible on many parts of the body. Such as the face, but piercings on the face are restricted to certain areas, and all of them are temporary. They're surface piercings and they'll come out rather fast because facial muscles are constricted a lot in maanuls for facial expressions to communicate. just like how a bridge piercing in humans don't last long because we move our eyebrows constantly.

The "nose" isn't an area they can pierce, the skin there is rather tight against the structure, its hard to pull any for a surface type. Piercing through it is quite horrible and will in almost every case end up in a bloody injury. Sometimes leading to an infection too. Its literally a cartilage hell with so many blood vessels hanging around. also, this is a sensory organ they use for facial interaction with one another, so they rather have it "untouched". And the nose is never pierced successfully. Then the person with it will be seen as a masochistic. A "nose" piercing for them wouldn't look like a hoop passing through it, but more so probably a curved bar inside the structure, with each side of the nose protruding with a little piece of jewelry.

traditional kyhuine jewelry dating before the alp traverse and first contact with maanuls, does not have an overarching theme like maanuls does. Their lives do not revolve around one big thing, as kyhuines as a whole can live in incredibly diverse biomes from each other, think of the biome variety found in SWANA. if you know you know then. However, things such a jewelry based on bugs (domesticated species or not) can be a common recurring thing because of how bugs are a big part of their diet + they have many domesticated species. Some domesticated themselves because kyhuines let them in their homes for various reasons.

pierced ears in kyhuines? its impossible to find. why? because kyhuines do not have external ears. what they have on their head is just some sort of "plumicorn", identical to what prairie chickens have. just growing at a different angle. The plumicorns in kyhuines are raised up for the neutral expression all the time. If you plucked a kyhuine their heads would be smooth, and you'd find the ear holes near the eyes. If you find old art on my blog with kyhuines having earrings that's just me being indicative of what I wanted. But yeah, in conclusion, no earrings for kyhuines can be found.

piercings in kyhuines are rare because they're covered in feathers everywhere apart from the pelvis, gular sack, around eyes and snout end, and keel. and only the facial skin can be piercable, mainly piercing under the eyes by pulling the extra saggy skin if there's enough. they last longer than they do with maanuls, because kyhuine facial muscles are stiffer. they emote emotions via opening their mouths, tahofah fans, sounds, inflating gular sack, and piloting/ flattening their plumicorns. not a lot of contracting facial muscle is involved in it. I'd say they're much more common in plateau/mountain flank groups, where the dulls have wattles under their eyes. Its just extra skin that can receive piercings or minimal dot tattoos. one of the few ethnicities to be able to do tattooing because of this extra skin bit

example of a haut-plateau / moutain flank dull ("dull" being an afab individual) kyhuine. sketch from some months ago i never finished but you see the idea ->

i do not think they could pierce their gular sack safely, perhaps if the jewelry in the pierced hole is flexible? after all pierced holes will close back. But i don't know about this one yet.

necklaces usually are lose enough that they hang under the gular sac area, just to be safe and not break it if they inflate it for whatever reason. although necklaces that are several decorative hard pieces on a stretchable threat where it can widen in case the person inflates their sac is also a thing. but the first option is the most popular and spread out. Plus, several ethnic groups will consider it indecent to have a gular sack exposed, leading to covering it with tight necklaces, or much more commonly just tissue. as its more convenient and can be a part of a larger piece of cloth.

in mierthri kyhuines, jewelry is considered as clothing for them. average conception of clothes as in like sewed tissue together is a no for them. as it might weigh them down and restrict movement during gliding. if they wear clothes its super minimal and most of them just do not wear anything for convenience, and when they do its 1 piece where they just have to slide their head in, the sides are cut so they dont restrict any arm movement. And even then, these clothes are mainly used for events only and not as a day-to-day thing. although exceptions can be seen in kaar'kchir immigrant mierthri communities. Not because they're forced to, but because of cultural exchange and cultures evolving and merging together.

the jewlery in mierthri kyhuines is either at their necks as a necklace or ankles as a ring or band. ribbons are used too, even if they're cloth are still a decorative items that for mierthri kyhuines count as a full piece of clothing. ribbons are attached to the ankle of the end of their tail. when they fly around gliding, the ribbon, or necklace, ankle jewlery are mainly used for quick identification in the community. for example, spotting a paramedic.

after the traverse of the Alps and first contact between the two cousin species, many cultures merge through immigration and create new ones, many communities become of mixed species, and people bring their cultures where they go. which will include the jewelry! and it will evolve, its adapted into new etnic groups or modified to be more in the taste of the people living here, new fashion movements get created and so on with variants like this.

i could think of more to yap about, but i think that's all for this one. thank you for reading!

#text #worldbuilding #maanul #kyhuine #altuyur

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thisisxli · 6 months ago

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Can you do Suna x gender-netrual(afab)!reader who is austic and have same personality as Mina from mha?

REQUEST - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑. 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫(𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐛)

Rs: Suna Rintarou x autistic GN!Reader(afab)

Warnings: ableism, small angst, realistic depictions, bullying, small self-harm, unrequited love, fights, Atsumu is a shitty person

Tags: fluff, reader is a sweet person, Suna is protective, childhood friends to lovers?, Small slow burn, sweet, not for the weak, author's self projection, different sexualities implied

Summary: Reader who stands out and is not always liked by everybody, is childhood friend with Suna Rintarou. Suna truly realizes his feelings when an oddly close friend of his start to berate you.

wc: 1.9k

To say Suna didn't like you was.. wrong. If anything, it wasn't that he liked you either. You were very bubbly and kind but there were times where you couldn't do simple tasks or do exactly as you were told. His parents were friends with yours so as a kid he was constantly at your place. Every time you tried to speak, you always got yelled at or scolded at by your parents. To them, they would always say you couldn't speak properly; as they would say, 'you're not using your tongue.'

Sure, you paid attention in school. But were you at the bottom in your classes? Yes. A lot of people always made fun of you in some type away or found some kind of antic to provoke you, yet Suna stuck around. He mostly felt bad. And his parents would force him to stick around.

Now, you were a honor-roll student, all A's and zero F's, and super friendly. You were able to talk but sometimes stuttering got to the best of you or it was just a jumble of words, but Suna never said anything. Sometimes he would catch you voluntarily sputtering things in a conversation but embarrassingly, it goes silent after that and everyone gets awkward. He would get second-hand embarrassment.

Sometimes he would catch you picking at your uneven set of nails, digging into the sides and create hangnails. Or he would catch you constantly picking at your face ridden with a few acne. He shakes his head at that.

No one really bullied you now, thankfully. You actually became really pretty and makeup would top it all off. Now of course you lured in many people, especially guys. But did any one of them that you got with stayed with you? No, they didn't. But you were so naive, you thought being loved by someone would fix all your problems or that you were constantly the problem. Suna had to watch it all and stick by your side. He was sick of it.

"Suna! Wanna come over my place after school?" You chirp and come up from behind, holding your hands behind your back. He sighs, clutching his school bag, "I don't know, (Y/N). I have volleyball practice." Your smile drops and you think to yourself for a moment, crossing your arms over each other.

"Soo.. Can I watch you play? I could probably try to text my mom-" "She'll just get mad at you for making a last minute plan," he deadpans, glancing down at you from the side. Your cheeks were a little too pink, he thinks. He thinks its' the blush. "Well that's why I said I could try! And now that I'm thinking about it.. I'm starting to get a little nervous- where do I sit? There might be a bunch of eyes on me," you complain, moving your foot in front of the other every time you cross a line on the marble floor. Suna rolls his eyes and waves you off, turning to a room. "This is my class, see ya," he murmurs, earning a cheery 'bye' from you.

You felt your palms sweating, frantically wiping them at your school uniform. Shit, you didn't really think much of this through. You needed permission and for that you needed to ask. You didn't really know why but talking to adults was really scary to you.

You almost groan when you open the gym doors, a low screech coming from the doors' screws. Heads turn to look towards you. Quickly, you scurry over to the coaches.

You blink at them, your voice turned into a sweet facade, "I'm sorry to intrude but can I?- am I able to watch this practice? On the behalf of Suna Rintarou? I have a ride so.." You dig your nails into the hem of your shirt. Suna notices it in the corner of his eye. The coach quite literally stares at you down before responding, "sure, but I don't know if you'll be able to the next time. If you really want to, apply for manager," he shrugs. "You can go sit over there," the coach points to the wall with a cart of volleyballs standing beside it. You lightly bow before scurrying over, letting out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding.

Suna wasn't one to show off but now that you were here, he suddenly really felt the need to.

His eyes follow and switch between Kita and Aran, who both seemed like they were ready to spike. Much to his predicament, he was correct for choosing Aran; hitting the volleyball straight into Suna's hands. He hissed at the sting, getting a pat in the back from Atsumu. "Great work! But I could already tell yer just showing off to that girl ova' there. I heard she was autistic-" Suna cuts him off with a glare, rubbing his hands together. "So what?" They all fetched their water bottles, standing by the walls and bench to rest for a few. "I always see 'ya hangin' around her. You got sum'in going on with the artistics, am I right 'Samu?" Assume nudges at Osamu's side who just nods and doesn't pay attention, gulping down his water bottle down in one go.

"Don't be mean guys, she can't help it-" Aran gets shushed by Akari who also has a mutual understanding with the Miya twin, "oh yeah, for sure. I think it might be a little obvious, Suna."

Suna rolls his eyes and just scrolls through his phone, "shut up. You don't know anything." Atsumu practically cackles at Suna's response just as he walks away, walking towards you. You take the opportunity to finally speak up, "Suna! You were amazing out there! I- you're really good at this stuff- I really- fuck, sorry- you- never mind." Suna snickers and you playfully pout, your makeup unable to hide the embarrassed blush. Suna's lips twitch upward a bit, bringing a hand on top of your head to pet it a little while taking a sip from his water bottle, "it's fine. Thank you though."

You nod and smile. All Suna could feel at that moment was his neck starting to get hot.

Suna lands a fist against Atsumu's cheek, startling their other teammates around them. They couldn't even react when Suna climbs atop of Atsumu, landing multiple punches. Suna had never got into a fight before, so this was new. And it must've been serious because of the way Atsumu was shit-talking behind your back? He had it coming. "Alright, hands to yourselves," Aran carefully finds his way under Suna's arms, trying not to get elbowed as Suna's legs jolted and kicked at Atsumu. "You think that shit's funny now?! I'll beat yer ass again if you keep talkin' shit!" Atsumu just scoffs, pulling his shirt up to wipe his nose that was starting to leak some blood. Kita looms over Atsumu with a grim look, his other team members standing beside him as one of them shook their head in disappointment.

"What?" Atsumu pouts, averting his gaze. "Go apologize to Suna. I want you to apologize to (Y/N) too, if you see her," Kita sighs, pulling Atsumu to his feet. "Fine," he spits.

The next time Atsumu sees you, he asks you to meet up outside during lunch period but once you do, you're confused and hurt.

"I'm sorry for.. saying some stuff about you. I don't know if you've ever heard me or sum'in but I did and now I have to apologize.. But I'm also so pissed," Atsumu stares daggers into your eyes, stepping closer to your faltering form. "How could he like someone like you? Yer actually hard to speak to and yer weird- the only thing I feel sorry for is how stupid you can get. Yer actually so fuckin' weird," he mutters, staring down at you with disgust.

"Okay..?" You can hear your voice waver, bearing a weak attempt to hide what you felt, "what's your point? Why do I piss you off? I don't- that's beyond my comprehension, I don't understand-" he cuts you off when he bucks at you, stomping a foot onto the ground that makes you flinch.

"Suna! He likes you and I don't-" he laughs midway in disbelief, small heat rising to his cheeks in embarrassment, "he likes you! I don't understand. I'm better in every way that you aren't. Yer autistic for gods sake- Yer just someone who he has to hang around with 'cause he's forced to, you-"

"Atsumu!" Atsumu twists his head to see a very angry Suna. You stare up at Atsumu in shock and hurt. Did Suna really feel that way? Did Atsumu really feel that way? You didn't even know he was like that. And why was he so mean? What could you have possibly done wrong to be yourself?

"Get the fuck out of here," Suna mutters, shoving his way past Atsumu and towards you. Atsumu stares at him for a few seconds before scoffing, shoving his hands into his pockets when he walks away. Suna stares at you with worry. "I am so so sorry he's said all of that to you, are you okay?" Suna lightly grasps onto your forearms, his head following wherever your eyes followed so he could be in your direct vision. You look down at his school uniform, frowning when you say, "was that true? You stick around because you're forced?"

Suna's lips curve downward, his fingers sliding down to your wrists and squeezes, "well... yes.."

You hang your head low when you start to feel your face muscles moving on its' own, furrowed brows and crinkled eyes matching with your wrinkling frown. "But, it's only my parents that force me to, no one else. Not me. If I really wanted to stop hanging with you even with my parents forcing me, I would've done so already. My parents don't really count," he murmurs, gently pulling you into an embrace. "What the other part 'Tsumu said was true too though," he whispers in your ear, moving a few inches back so he could move your hair behind your ear.

"What..?" You blink away your tears, making your way to look up into his eyes, "I like you, (Y/N). I'm sorry if I didn't realize that sooner. I don't care if we're complete polar opposites or if you have autism. I like you and all of that is what makes you, you." Suna rubs his thumb across your cheek, eyes slightly widening, "or!- Or it's completely okay if you don't reciprocate. I'm completely fine with that."

Your face felt really hot and all the wrong places on your body were sweating. You suck in your bottom lip, digging your nails into your palm, "I..." Suna looks at you expectantly. You just stare at him until you couldn't, moving your eyes everywhere around him. You wanted to say something but it was almost like your body was compelling you not to. You felt scared. "I like you- you too," you mutter with a strain, slurring and almost spitting when saliva builds up too much in your mouth. You quickly shut your mouth and swallow it down. Suna smiles down at you, his hand moving to the back of your head and leans in.

You frown warily and squeeze your eyes shut but you don't feel anything on your lips. You feel his peck onto your cheek bone, something as so soft and gentle.

You open your eyes to look at him. Suna looks back at you so lovingly, his cheeks slightly tinted pink. "This period is about to end soon, so let's go," he smiles, extending a hand towards you. "Okay," you breathe, sliding your hand into his calloused ones.

a/n: sorry if I took a bit posting this. I've been a little busy :). This fic hit a little close to home because I know what it's like to be standing out in certain places, people, or time and you can never understand why. It's either really hard to speak up or a lot to say or be said. I really am sorry for those who struggle with this or any type of disorder; but then again, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.

Please check out my other works if you haven't, please enjoy.

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