#so slowly at first in my first year and so much more now post college
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ensoleils · 2 months ago
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it’s so hard to describe what i feel for the people at nyc kendo but they’re really my second family.
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homeofthelonelywriter · 25 days ago
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Not your Burden Prologue
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"Are you sure you don’t want to move in with me?”
A smile spread on your lips, though it quickly shifted into a frown as you gently set down the heavy cardboard box, holding the rest of your belongings. It had been two months since your father’s monthly payments stopped. Two months since, no matter what you tried, you couldn’t reach your dad or anyone close to him. Two months since you’ve been trying to find a job, but no luck so far. In the end, you decided to move out of the apartment your dad had insisted on you renting, and moved into a smaller and cheaper one.
“Nah, I’ll be fine, I promise.” Your best friend frowned, concern painted across her face. For someone who was usually so carefree, she now looked like she was about to suffer a breakdown.
“I know you don’t like my roommates, but they aren’t so bad once you get to know them. And I’m really worried about leaving you here. This part of town just isn’t safe.” You chuckled and nodded. She was right after all.
The only place you could afford with the rest of your savings was in the part of town everyone was warned to stay away from. The part with the highest crime rate in the entire city. The part where just a few weeks ago, a dead college student had been found. But what were you to do? As much as you loved your friend, her male roommate was creepy and you didn’t like the way he looked at you. No way you’d survive moving in with them. So, the cheap apartment in the creepy part of town it was.
“I’ll be fine, I promise. I have pepper spray and my dad had me learn self-defense. If anyone tries something funny, you’ll have to worry about him, not me!” A grin spread across your lips as you gave her a thumbs up, trying to look as confident as possible. In response, she just rolled her eyes.
“Fine, but…you better facetime me whenever you’re walking home. And have your location on at all times, you hear me?” You nodded and pulled out your phone, quickly turning the location share on, so she would stop worrying. As much as you loved her, it was starting to get repetitive.
Your friend continued to help you, before you ushered her out, telling her to get home safely and before it got dark out. Then you continued to move in, unpacking and slowly getting comfortable. Well…as comfortable as you could get when there were what felt like constant sirens and other noises you weren’t too happy to hear. Banging and moans from your next-door neighbors, screams and crashing from upstairs, and weird gurgling from the hallway. Good thing you had some noise-cancelling headphones, sounded like you would need them.
You had to admit, the first few nights, you didn’t sleep much. The noises and the general paranoia were enough to keep you up, but after a week or so, you got used to it. You put a knife on your nightstand, put a chair against the door, and glasses against the windows. To be honest, you developed your own little routine, which you quite enjoyed. And if you added the job hunt - which had still not been successful - and the work for college, you rarely had the energy to truly care about your situation at the end of the day.
Another week or so went by and you found yourself in the cafe on the campus, sending out more job applications, but it seemed like no one wanted to hire a college student who could only work odd hours. Frustration wafted through you, so you decided to grab another drink and quickly got in line, not paying attention to your surroundings. You promptly gave your order and went to pay, but before you could, the person behind you spoke up, “I got it.”, and before you could interject, they placed tapped their card, and your order was paid for.
When you turned around to thank the kind stranger, you quickly realized it wasn’t a stranger. “Mister Riley?”
Next Part
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A/N: Since it's been almost a year since I posted the idea, let's try this. Let me know what you think!
@alilstressyandlotdepressy @brickwall035 @trampondemand @inarabee @blinca @rileys3dworld
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kiszjuli · 16 days ago
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↳ trust me the way i trust you .ᐟ n.jm
— in which you and your lifelong best friend have one of your traditional sleepovers, yet something about you two is different this time. he’s more clingy, you’re more bold..it’s just simple bantering..what could go wrong? oh yeah, and you have an immense crush on jaemin but he doesn’t feel the same- you think.
— parings: childhoodbestfriend!jaemin x afab!reader
— w.c: 4.6k
— warnings/tags: none really, just mc is a little frustrating lmao bare with her (not proofread), jaem is a total flirt, calls reader love, somewhat unrealistic lowk, no angst yippie, non idol au, (kinda) college au
j.note: hi luvvs!! this is my first post and piece of writing so pls don’t bash it too much, i wrote more than i thought i would and i think it turned out pretty good but constructive criticism is always welcome (and needed)!! hope you enjoy :)
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jaemin, your best friend, was over at your house for your monthly sleepover. you had been friends for as long as you could remember. your parents had told you years back that you two originally met at the park and immediately became attached at the hip. everyday since then you two were seen together. he was your best friend. you went to him about anything and everything, as he did, you.
since you had known each other so long and your families had grown close, they let you have sleepovers as of about 2 years ago. during these sleepovers, you would always start with a movie, having your quirky traditions of rating the movie afterwards and voicing your comments and opinions as if you were professional reviewers.
then you would move on to something else as your attention span had grown shorter. usually you guys would go for a walk, or try to learn some random choreography, or even just talk.
this time around was no different; you were both upstairs on your bed. you, sitting crisscrossed typing away on your laptop, and him laid out diagonally on his side facing you scrolling on his phone.
every now and then you would look up from your screen and see him looking down at his phone, seeing the light illuminate his handsome face.
oh yeah, you also had an excruciatingly huge crush on jaemin.
it started back when you were in 5th grade and he stood up for you from boys teasing you at recess. there was something about it that made you see him in a different light ever since that day (now being a sophomore in college) but you would never tell him. you liked what you had with him; it was something not everyone got the chance to have.
breaking you from your pause in typing, your mind having wandered, you hear his phone it the bed and a frustrated groan from him.
you looked up questioningly.
"could you please give your attention to me now?" he sat up and scooted next to you looking over your shoulder to your laptop. he leaned his head on your shoulder, causing your heart to twinge with affection. he had always been comfortable being affectionate with you which only made it increasingly harder to conceal your feelings all these years.
you grinned at ahis pouty tone.
“you sound like a child,” you said and tried to focus on your laptop again.
you heard him scoff next to your ear. "even still, you've been on there long enough," he countered. he shifted his head and rested his chin on your shoulder now. jaemin glanced at your screen seeing a bunch of words typed that he didn't care to read.
"just let me get this done, it's for school, and right now is the only time i have the tiniest bit of motivation," you groaned yourself, knowing that you really didn't want to do it either.
jaemin raised a brow at your words. "is it really that important that you can't even spare a minute to talk to your favorite person?" he said as he slowly shifted closer trying to get comfortable. he didn't really care if you were trying to focus or not.
you sighed. "just 10 more minutes, then my attention is all yours, okay?"
he let out an overdramatic groan before reluctantly leaning away. "fine. 10 minutes, that's it," he pointed a finger at you. he watched as you went back to typing, trying to focus and understand what you were doing, but failing miserably. his main focus was on the digital clock in the corner of your laptop watching as the minutes slowly passed by.
soon enough, the promised 10 minutes passed by and he spoke up. "finally," he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "times up, now your attention is all mine," he smiled like a kid.
you sighed as well and stretched your back. "yeah, yeah." you brushed off and glanced on him. seeing the way his brunette hair fell so perfectly over his eyebrows, you looked away.
shutting your laptop, you put it on your small nightstand, while he moved to sit in front of you mirroring your position.
"at least now i don't have to share your attention with a damn laptop," he grumbled, causing a laugh from you.
"since you wanted it so bad, now you finally have it," you teased smiling at him.
"alright, you make it sound like i was begging," he scrunched his face.
"weren't you?" you asked. you both always enjoyed the playful banter between you guys. there was almost never a day where you didn't.
he thought for a moment. "okay, and your point?"
you shook your head with a content smile before moving to get off your bed.
"where are you going?" he asked sounding almost fearful of your leaving.
"to the kitchen, jaem, i'm hungry," you said motioning to the door of your room.
"you would rather go get food, than be with me? i'm hurt," he said in a dramatic tone, putting a hand to his heart.
you rolled your eyes and started to walk out of your room, "i'll be back in a minute,"
he watched you walk away until you couldn't be seen anymore and leaned back on your bed. laying on his back he waited (im)patiently.
while you were in the kitchen, your parents told you they were going out to see some friends over dinner, and would be back around 10pm. saying goodbye, you took your plate of snacks back up to your room.
by the time you returned, jaemin had flipped over on his stomach with his feet hanging off the bed. you smiled at the sight, seeing his face squished against a pillow. moving towards the bed, you set the plate down and climbed onto the bed sitting over his legs.
him not reacting, prompted you to scoot up further and sit over his butt, with your hands on his back lightly. this is what made him speak.
he lifted his head to look back at you and rolled his eyes, yet making no effort to move you off. he secretly enjoyed the way you were sitting on him all casually. "𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 are you doing?" he asked feeling your weight on his butt.
"sitting? what are you doing?" you asked with a slight smile, playing coy.
jaemin rolled his eyes again, shifting a little to get comfortable under you. "do you not realize that you're heavy? if you were anyone else, i would've complained and made you get off,"
you raise a brow. "i am not heavy," you say hitting his back.
he let out a pronounced 'ow!' then looked back at you through the corner of his eye. "don't hit me! and you are heavy, especially for my poor back," he whined in a mock-suffering tone.
"maybe you're just weak," you said shrugging and slightly rubbed his back instinctively.
he perked up at this. "i am definitely 𝘯𝘰𝘵 weak," he argued suddenly getting an idea. was it a good one? maybe not but he'd figured he'd risk it anyway. somehow, he managed to swiftly roll over onto his back, keeping you up right. the movement catching you by surprise as you now sat straddling his lap. he hands casually going to your hips, keeping you stable.
"i think you forgot who the stronger one was, love," he smirked up at you, as you stared with a dumbfounded look back at him.
you decided to keep your cool as best you could. 'whatever," you brushed off before reached to the table to get your plate. you assumed he thought you were trying to get off, as his hands tightened slightly on your hips.
you leaned back how you were, missing the way his face contorted a little at the movement. placing the plate on his stomach, not wanting to hold it, he speaks up.
"admit it, you weren't expecting that were you?" he continued to smirk up at you.
"no, i wasn't," you admitted, but your expression not faltering.
he watches intently as you start to eat some of your snacks, as if you were sitting at the kitchen table.
"you know you really have no idea what you do to me sometimes," he trailed taking in your details. your shorts, which had ridden up due to the way you were seated, your hair that was in what you called your 'signature style', and the way you seemed so unbothered.
"what are you talking about?" you question keeping your eyes on the plate, not daring to look at his eyes in fear of heat rushing to your cheeks. even you couldn't believe how calm you seemed on the outside, compared to your heart that was currently racing.
he chuckled at your obliviousness, his hands fighting the urge to move to your thighs.
"you're sitting on top of me right now, looking like that, eating food, and you're still gonna ask me that question?" he questioned with a slight hint of disbelief in his tone. he tried his best not to let his eyes roam over your body.
you think his words made it all actually click. the fact that you straddling your best friend's lap right now finally making you realize the situation. usually being something a couple would do you pursed your lips. "well you seem perfectly fine," you deflected.
he watched as the realization sunk into your face and scoffed at your words. "i look perfectly fine to you?" he chuckled glancing at the plate conveniently on his stomach for you.
looking down, you noticed the slight difference in his eyes. choosing to ignore it, you spoke again. "yeah, you look like normal jaemin to me," you shrugged.
he snickered. "well thanks for letting me know i look like myself," he said sarcastically before moving his hands up just slightly, almost as if to test the waters.
"always here for you," you smiled. you felt his fingers move, trying to ignore it. feeling his touch there was not something you weren't used to, yet it was different this time. which again wasn't something friends did.
jaemin chuckled at your words, his thumbs still gently caressing your clothed skin. "when did you become so snarky, hm?" before you could come up with a rebuttal, he spoke up again. "you know, best friends don't usually sit on each other like this, right?" almost like he read your mind you paused.
"i'm aware, which is why when i'm done eating, i'm getting off," you said, as if it made the situation any better. and to be fair, he was the one that put you two in that position.
smiling at your response, he raised a brow. "and what's stopping you from getting off right now, if you're so aware of our situation?" he teased, his hands tightening on your hips slightly.
you motioned to the plate that was still on his stomach. "i'm eating, duh,"
laughing at your casual attitude and excuse, jaemin kept his eyes on your face.
"most people also don't eat sprawled out on top of their best friend?' he kept his tone light and teasing, finding the whole thing amusing. he definitely wasn't complaining about the slightly intimate situation you were in.
once again shrugging you glanced at him. "since it seems to bother you so much, why haven't you told me to get off?" you raised a brow.
jaemin looked back up at you, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he replied. "who said it bothers me? i was simply pointing out the regular best friends sit," he shrugged in return. though, his thumbs still stroking your hips, betrayed his more innocent words.
you paused thinking for a minute. "if you think about it...a lot of things we do, other best friends- probably don't," you trailed thinking of the countless other times you two could've appeared like a couple.
he chuckled, nodded in agreement. "yeah, you're right.. we're almost too comfortable with each other for 'just best friends'," he said, knowing in his mind that he didn't mind.
you spoke up quieter this time. "maybe we should...change that," you said, almsot done with your assorted plate of snacks.
raising a brow in curiosity, as he spoke. "change what, exactly?"
"the way we act, idiot. what else?" you glared playfully.
"you're awfully sassy for someone who's sitting on top of me, you know that right?" he said with a small smirk, his fingers tracing little shapes on your hips.
seeing you only shrug in response he speaks again. "you're so casual...acting like it's the most normal thing in the world to sit on your best friend,"
"you're casual too," you pointed out, locking your eyes on his. "letting your best friend sit on top of you like this,"
"touche," he narrows his eyes.
looking back down at your plate, you give him the last of your snack, him opening his mouth to take it from you. (again something a little too intimate for people that weren't a couple)
"that felt awfully intimate, too...almost a couple like thing?" he added with a playful hint in his tone. he knew that he silently enjoyed that too, though.
you laughed lightly. "we just cross all kinds of boundaries, don't we?" you asked while picking up the plate from his stomach and setting it aside. as you were done, you reluctantly started to lift off him.
jaemin's hands gripped your hips a little tighter, silently telling you not to get up.
"you don't have to get up just yet, you know..." he trailed.
"don't i?" you asked, however, stopping your movements.
"he shook his head no. "not really, no. i don't mind, love," he said with a smug look on his face.
"you should," you countered, but nonetheless, sitting back how you were.
jaemin, chuckling at your response, moved his hands up a little to rest on the area just below your shirt. "why should i? you were perfectly comfortable where you were,"
you rested your hands on his stomach, which you noted that was quite toned. "it should bother the both of us actually...friends don't do this, not even the close ones like us," you somewhat rambled.
he smiled at your slight denial. "you're right," he paused. "but then again, we haven't ever really been a normal pair of best friend's have we?"
you tilted your head. "what do you mean?"
jaemin held a soft smile o his face as he spoke. "well, we're extremely close, to the point we don't mind being physical with each other like this, i could go on," he squeezed your hips a little before continuing. "we both know that we act more like a couple than just friends,"
"hm," you hummed before looking down, and picked at a piece of lint on his t shirt. now lost in thought, you don't hear him until he squeezed your hip. "what's going on in that pretty mind of yours?" he asked, his usual tender yet slightly flirty tone present.
"nothing really...it's just- it's nothing," you said keeping your eyes down. your conflict evident in your words.
watching you for a moment, he took in your expression. "well then it's obviously something. c'mon, talk to me," he urged, gently coaxing you into telling him what it was.
pursing your lips, you looked back to his eyes, thinking for a moment. "well, like...hypothetically, i was just wondering if...like- if this is how it would be if we were a couple...or dating,' you revealed, struggling to find your words. "that's all,"
he was intrigued, yet surprised to say the least. a small smile hanging on his lips, he asked, "and what was the conclusion of your 'hypothetical' wondering?"
smiling a little yourself you looked up at him again. "i didn't get that far,"
"well, if we were a couple, would you be sitting on top of me like this?" he asked wanting to continue the thought.
after a moment of quiet, you spoke softly. "probably...would you let me sit here if we were together?"
he smirked thinking about your question. "yes, of course i would. as often as you want. you wouldn't even have to ask, honestly." his words making your stomach flip. you couldn't believe you were having this conversation right now, much less while sitting on his lap.
you laughed and thought looking up. "let's see, what else?"
chuckling along with you, jaemin thought too. "well, for starters, i'd hold you like this even more...and touch you whenever i wanted to,"
rolling your eyes you spoke. "you do that anyway,"
he chuckled at your reaction. 'true, but it would be different with you as my girl rather than my best friend," his thumbs still continuing to trace small circles on your skin.
you felt your heart flutter at the mention of being his girl., even if it was hypothetical. "hm," you hummed and straightened your back, sitting up a little.
"you were imagining yourself as my girlfriend, weren't you? you liked the sound of that?" he teased, catching on to your reaction.
you scoff and countered him. "obviously, i had to with what we're talking about right now,"
chuckling, jaemin knew you were deflecting from the truth. "oh c'mon, don't deny it, you know you liked hearing yourself being referred to as my girl,"
"you're full of yourself," you teased, fighting the flush you felt rising in your cheeks.
he laughed along with you before teasing again. "can you blame me when i have a pretty girl sitting on top of me?" he was shamelessly flirting at this point.
"shut up, and stop flirting," you point.
jaemin shook his head with a smile. "no i don't think i will. not when i have you all flustered right now from that flirting,"
"oh, so you admit you are flirting?" you asked raising your brow.
"of course i am, that's what i do," he admitted. there was a short silence before he spoke again eyeing you closely. "i want you to admit something too, though"
you felt your heart beating a little faster. 'okay.." you narrowed your eyes. "then i'm gonna put my plate up,"
he nodded once before speaking. "alright, answer this then: do you like the thought of being my girlfriend? hypothetically speaking, of course," he asked looking up at you.
you looked to the side already knowing your answer but trying to find a way around admitting you liked it, even not hypothetically. "i don't particularly mind it, no,"
smiling warmly, jaemin caught on to your attempt to down play your answer. "yeah? i think you like it more than you'd like to admit," his fingers pausing then slowly tracing along the skin of your thighs. the feeling making you breathe in.
you shrugged. 'maybe i do, but it doesn't matter because it's all hypothetical," you smiled sarcastically and quickly got up from his lap before he had the chance to keep you there.
"wait-" he called and grabbed your wrist just as soon you stood up from the bed. you turned back to him, with the plate in your other hand. "why can't it be real? not hypothetical, but real. us dating," he asked searching your face.
'jaem, are you crazy? it's me, you don't wanna date," you laughed brushing it off. you didn't know why but you couldn't accept the idea that maybe your crush on your best friend wasn't so one-sided.
you moved out of his grip and started out of your room down the hall.
jaemin's expression faltered a little as he got off the bed to follow you. "why wouldn't i wanna date you? you're my best fried. i know you better than anyone. and not to mention, you're incredibly attractive-"
"we're not having this conversation," you cut him off, as you walked down hall to the staircase. jaemin followed close behind, determined to talk about this. he caught up to you as you made it down the stairs into the kitchen. "yes we are. why are you so against the idea of us dating? i don't understand." he crossed his arms.
putting your plate in the dishwasher you spoke. 'because we're best friends," you said before standing back up straight and looking at him across the counter.
jaemin let out a frustrated sigh, his expression still firm. "that's not a valid reason. why does that have to get in the way of us being together? we're already so close and comfortable with each other," he paused walking around the counter to you. " plus, think about it, wouldn't being best friends make it better? we already know each other so well, so that gives us a strong foundation to build from," he explained.
you sighed. "it's...what if it didn't work out? i don't want that to be the reason i lose you...our friendship means too much to me to take that risk," you said breathing out. you said that, but you knew this conversation would change your friendship no matter what.
jaemin's expression softened at your response, understanding the thought and point behind it. he took another small step closer, his voice softer now. "i get that, i really do. the thought of risking our friendship is scary. but you have to think about the fact that we already risk our friendship by flirting with each other. and blurring the lines of friendship and something more." he paused, his eyes locking onto yours. it's already there- the risk," he added. you knew he was right but still. sighing you rubbed your forehead. "that's...different," you still argued.
he shook his head chuckling. "no, it's not different. and i think you know that." you looked up at him conflicted, yet you still didn't know why.
"deny it all you want, but what we're doing already has the potential to ruin our friendship. so why not take the chance, and go all the way?"
you tilt your head. "what? and i mean- are you saying you would have a relationship with me? a romantic relationship. you would want that?" you asked needing the clarification.
jaemin's expression stayed earnest and and serious as he spoke. "i would love to have a romantic relationship with you. i wanna spend more time with you, take you out, hold your hand, kiss you-" he listed. "is that what you wanna hear?"
you shook your head. "no, you don't jaemin.." you denied it for some reason, despite the flutter in your heart.
he sighed, getting frustrated with your denial. "yes i do. i really do. you keep telling me how i feel, as if you know better. but the truth is i have never wanted to be with someone as much as i wanna be with you," he confessed. you froze. he stepped forward again, now standing so close, he could feel your body heat.
you didn't understand why you were going against him. against your heart. you knew you wanted it too, if not more. but you just couldn't.
jaemin watched you close, seeing the turmoil behind your eyes. he could read you like an open book, knowing that you were struggling with your thoughts.
"you know we want the same thing. why are you fighting it? what is holding you back?" his voice holding frustration, but still gentle. he brought his hand up slowly putting it on your cheek.
you wanted to lean into his touch. instead you continued to fight it. "i can't do this with you, jaemin. we've already talked about it too much," you sighed and stepped away from him, moving out of the kitchen.
jaemin watched you you walk away, feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment. he followed after you, voice firm. "why can't you? why are you so determined to deny what right in front of you? what we could have together?" he asked almost sounding hurt. you turned around, now at the bottom of the steps. "because i'm scared, jaemin!" you raised your voice a little. ""i'm scared it won't work out, and i could lose you. or that, i'm not gonna be good enough and someone better comes along, or i won't be a good girlfriend, or-"
"hey, hey...shh," he cut you off, grabbing your arms grounding you. his face softened. "you have nothing to be scared of, okay? i'm not gonna get tired of you and there isn't anyone better for me than you. do you hear me?" he asked, searching your eyes.
keeping your eyes on his, you nodded slowly but didn't speak. at your lack of response he gripped your arms a little tighter.
"i need you to believe me. you have to understand that you're everything i've ever wanted. we just need to take that leap," he paused, his thumbs rubbing your skin soothingly.
"trust me, love. trust me the way i trust you,"
looking between his sincere eyes you nodded more sure this time. sighing you speak. "okay," goosebumps rose on your skin from his touch.
a small wave of relief washing over him as you spoke. "good, that's good. i promise you have nothing to worry about. we can take things as slow as you want, but i wanna be with you. i want you to be mine," he said full of emotion.
feeling your heart thumping loudly in your chest you keep your eyes locked on his. "i wanna be yours too.." you mutter softly.
jaemin couldn't believe that he was finally hearing those words from you, as his own heart raced. "say it again," his voiced just as hushed as yours. his hands slowly moved from your arms to your waist, pulling you closer.
leaning into his touch, you spoke. "i wanna be yours, jaemin..and i want you to be mine,'
his heart soared as he heard your words, his arms wrapping around your waist fully and pulling you even closer to where your bodies pressed against each other.
"you have know idea how long i've waited to hear you say that," he confessed looking down at you, admiring your features. you smiled up at him, finally feeling your tense resistance from before, slipping away.
"yeah?" you asked with a small smile.
"yeah," his voice filled with certainty. "now, you're mine, and i'm yours. only yours," his beautiful smile flashing, as he gazed down at you.
after another couple seconds he spoke up again. "can i do something, i've been itching to do for a while now?' he asked with a, now teasing, smile.
"what?" you tilted your head looking up at him, your arms having found their way around his broader shoulders.
"promise you won't hit me?" he says with a cheeky expression. his tone was kept light, yet there was a hint of something else. a desire; a want.
"depends," you narrow your eyes at his change in tone.
he chuckled then spoke as he leaned closer. "guess i'll have to take my chances," he said while glancing down at your lips before crashing his to yours. the feeling catching you slightly by surprise, but nonetheless, you melted into him.
feeling his lips move against yours, creating a spark in your stomach. you broke it leaning back slightly, his forehead leaning against yours. his eyes still looking down at your lips before leaning back in, capturing your lips again. before you knew it, his hands moved from your waist and hooked under thighs, pulling off the ground. you broke the kiss once again with a small gasp as he carried you the stairs with a teasing smile on his lips.
"what are you-what are we doing?" you laughed, clinging to him.
"exactly what we talked about earlier," he smiled as he made it you your room shutting the door with his foot.
let's just say, ‘sitting’ wasn't the only thing that happened.
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theelvishfiddler · 7 months ago
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AN ARTIST'S GUIDE TO HANDS
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No, sorry it's actually not an artist's guide to drawing hands. Those are just warmup studies (which I'll talk about in this post.)
This is a guide to Your Hands and how to take care of them when making art.
No one ever sits down and teaches artists how to take care of their hands. They didn’t even teach me this while I was in art college. This is just what I've learned myself through years of pain and scouring the internet for advice.
This is going to be a long one and geared towards illustrative traditional/digital/pen/pencil artists specifically, but artists of other mediums and crafts should take care of their hands too! Well, we all should take care of our bodies in general, but this is about hands.
(advice is below the read more)
First off I'm not a professional or anyone with actual medical advice. I'm just some guy with chronic hand pain who makes art. This advice is free for you to use or discard.
WARMUPS!
Ever sit down in the morning to draw and wonder why your art is so stiff and looks so much worse than what you were drawing last night? It's because you didn't warm up!
You know how for physical sports they all warmup and do stretches before getting into the actual sport. To prevent injuries and all that? Yeah, it's good to do that for art too.
One way to warmup is to just draw lines. Try to keep them as straight as you can. Going up and down and diagonal. Draw squares. Big squares. Small squares. Circles! You are warming up, keep it loose and relaxed! Basically just scribble away.
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(examples. I usually keep going until there is no paper white left. This can double as practice for drawing straight lines without a ruler, which is a great skill to have when freehand city drawing.)
Before hopping right into drawing people you can try doing some quick gesture drawings. Line of Action has timed sessions with a large variety of clothed or nude models. I usually do the 30 min class as it has a nice balance of short and long timed poses. The point isn't to draw nice art, but to warm up. Try to get the basic form down, not the details. I find that doing a full class session can really help my drawings feel more loose and grounded in reality for the rest of the day.
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Some examples I found in my folders. I suggest looking into what a line of action (not the site) is and giving it a try with some of the studies!
COOLDOWNS!
For sports it's to return your body back to your everyday baseline after a workout.
Example; you are working on a big project! A masterpiece! It's detailed and cool! You have been focusing on this for hours and drawing so intensely. But you need to stop working for the day.
A cooldown is for winding down out of the go go go mindset. Put away the big project and do a couple small doodles and sketches. You are relaxing your hand and letting it stretch out. Keep the sketches loose. Let the art happen slowly. Don't polish anything, that can happen another day. Just ease yourself out of drawing.
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...
Cool! Now we get into the meat of this thing.
HAND PAIN
How to avoid it and how to manage it if you already have it.
I love you artists and creatives, I am begging you to please take care of your most important creative tools. I really don't want this to sound like scare tactics like "oooh you better do this or blah blah!" Nope. I just had to learn all this the hard way and I'm extremely passionate about it.
Take this advice or don’t ╮(゚~゚;)╭ I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad
Adjustments and Small Solutions
If you are feeling physical discomfort while drawing there are many different solutions to try! Here are some suggestions that may or may not work for you.
Hold your pencil more loosely. Stop gripping that thang so tightly!!! Relax that hand! They make these… squishy pen grip things... I think they are called Adaptive Pencil Grips or Adaptive Writing/Drawing Aids? They stop your hand from being all cramped up by making your drawing tool wider. It's going to take a bit of time to adjust to drawing with it, but it's worth it for those who hold pencils too tightly.
Don't press as heavily. For traditional art, if you find yourself pressing really hard to get darker lines try moving to a softer pencil. Most standard pencils are HB, the B pencils have softer graphite. Experiment until you find the right one for you. For Digital, adjust your pressure settings so you don't have to press as hard to get thicker lines. You should not be pressing so hard all the time, it wears out both your hand and your tablet! It takes a bit of time to adapt to pencil or pressure changes. Try doing some unimportant sketches, they don't have to be good. You are just training your hand and mind to adjust using less pressure.
Draw with your arm and not your wrist! It's small repetitive motions that cause the most strain. You probably hear this one a lot, what does it even mean? It means moving your arm with the motions of your line, and trying not to make too many tiny movements with your just your fingers or wrist. This one is hard! It takes time and conscious thought to change the habit. Tips? Work bigger. Zoom in more. Use bigger sheets of paper.
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(Motions exaggerated for a clearer example)
Change the angle of your drawing surface. They make angled tablet holders, angled desks, angled desktop raisers. Experiment, find and angle that is comfortable and the one that causes the least pain. (It's also good to make sure you don't have to hold your head at an uncomfortable angle when drawing. Staring straight down or hunching over a paper flat on the table can cause pain!)
Compression Glove? Wrist brace/tensioners? Some folks use them and I've been thinking of getting one for years now. I can't give advice on this one, because I don't have experience with it. Look into it if you want!
Managing Pain
First things first.
IF YOUR HANDS START TO HURT WHILE YOU ARE DRAWING. STOP! Put the pencil/pen/paintbrush/whatever down. The art will still be there for you to continue tomorrow.
I know from experience that it's extremely hard to pull away when you are hyper focused on an art piece. It's hard to remember all sorts of basic needs like food or bathroom when hyper focused. But you Need to stop when you feel that pain. (Preferably even before the pain…)
Take Breaks! Let your hands rest when you can. Just like a machine, if you don't schedule maintenance, the machine will schedule maintenance for you. Often that means having to wait a few days for it to return to functional. Best to take a day off from heavy usage or take an occasional 30 min break throughout the day to let your hands rest.
Stretching is important! Full body stretches are good; your arms, shoulders, neck, and spine are all connected, but I'm specifically talking about HAND and wrist stretching. There are a lot of stretches and massages for carpal tunnel and arthritis out there. I find they work for hand pain in general. Move into and out of each stretch slowly. Do not push a stretch if it hurts!! Be gentle!!
I am not a qualified professional and I will not be giving out specific stretches (that is beyond my personal comfort level). There are other artists out there who have made helpful stretching info-graphics which are cool, but I will not be because i don't want to be responsible for someone accidentally hurting themself. Ask your doctor for stretches & advice or look some up on your own.
Don't feel bad about forgetting to stretch frequently! Of course it is good to do it regularly and frequently, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I remember to stretch daily. Setting timers for stop and stretch sessions can work for some people, but also doing stretches whenever you remember is fine! If you are sitting on the toilet you can idly do some hand stretches. On the bus? Laying in bed? At the beach? Do a couple stretches! Even just once a week is better than… nonce a week.
Using Cold or Heat to treat pain. If you really overdid it, put your hands in some cold water or wrap a cloth around an ice pack and apply it to your hand. Cold works best for me, but warmth works for others. This is just pain reduction and reducing inflammation from overuse! This is not a permanent solution.
If your hand hurts a lot! Frequently! Talk to your doctor? Idk mine has never given real advice. Just gently poked my hand and told me there isn't much to be done about it :/ but there are really good doctors out there who will care and give helpful advice!
Again. IF IT HURTS TO CONTINUE DRAWING. STOP DRAWING! This is not a "no pain no gain" type situation. Drawing so much that you hurt yourself isn't noble, it's just… limiting yourself. You only get one set of hands. These things are very handy to have.
Other Advice
Things I couldn't figure out how to fit into the earlier sections.
Your other hand can't handle the strain! Lets say you hurt your drawing hand... the other hand is right there free to use for art. Right? Wrong. Your other hand can't keep up with the demand, it hasn't been trained to the same extent as your dominant hand, it does not have the built up muscle. If you want to use that hand for drawing you are going to have to use it s l o w l y and train it bit by bit over a long period of time. When I tore a tendon in my right hand I decided to just keep drawing with my left and I got Really Good at it. It only took like two months before my left hand hurt too much to move. Then I had 0 functioning hands to pull up my pants. Not fun!!
People who draw on phones. That is extremely impressive! I'm amazed by the things people can create on such a small space. But phone artists are the ones I see most frequently mentioning hand pain. please please please make sure you are taking breaks. Would a stylus work instead of using a finger?
Outside of Drawing. Sometimes it's things outside of drawing that are causing the pain. For me there are multiple sources, but I also have tiny baby hands. Holding a phone too long causes pain. The handheld mode for my Switch causes A Lot of pain. The way my hand rests while typing on my laptop hurts! Playing tense videogames for too long hurts! Find the source of your pain and make some changes. The same things will apply to most; take regular breaks, do some stretches, and find soft things to prop up or rest your arms on.
Change your Artstyle. This one is more of a last resort. You might have to change your art style if you are getting sharp pains every time you draw. I loved drawing tight clean lines and many small fancy details, but drawing like that left me in so much pain at the end of the day. In 2023 I had to take the better part of year off from illustrations just to learn how to sketch and draw more loosely. I had to learn how to be gentle. To stop gripping my pencil so tightly. Learn! Adapt! You might discover a new style that you love even more!
A lot of this stuff gets more complicated in a work setting where you have to draw fast and long in order to get paid. Things like reducing your workload can help, but that can be... financially rough. But outside of that, it’s ok to be a slow artist. Going full steam and hurting yourself is not worth it.
Aaaaaanyway, thats all folks. Today's rant brought to you by me! The guy with chronic hand pain who always forgets to stretch! The guy who got frustrated with a sketch yesterday and decided to push to keep drawing for just one more hour! The guy who woke up this morning and had to spend 2 hours massaging and stretching their hands. The guy who probably shouldn't have typed all of this out because ooww ow ouch
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If your hands do hurt, it's going to be ok! You don't need to be a speed demon who draws all the time. It's ok to take your time and take frequent breaks. You are going to do great things! Just be gentle with yourself...
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yuutawe · 2 months ago
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UNDER THE WATER. } yuta okkotsu . . .
ꖛ summary * an aquarium date with your nerdy boyfriend.
ꖛ warnings! * fluff + sfw‎ ‎ ‎ ‎college au, photographer yuta‎‎ ‎!‎ ‎ ‎ he's a nerd over marine animals, and you love it !‎ ��� ‎ a lot of stupid facts about jellyfish !‎ ‎ ‎ ‎yuta is 20, reader is 21 in this (although nothing happens) !‎ ‎NOT PROOFREAD.
ꖛ about. * reader is gender-neutral. no anatomy specified + they/them pronouns and genderless nicknames.
ꖛ author's note * this feels really rushed but sighhhhh. just had the idea and wanted to write it down. i hope it's not bad for a first post here. english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes.
ꖛ word count ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 899.
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some say that love at first sight is nonsense, but yuta and you have a beautiful variation of this cliché: love at first click. you can still remember his surprised expression when he took the first picture of you. it was simple, an okay request. he needed a model to sit on campus to test the new camera. and then click. one photo became three, and he complimented your physique a lot.
nervous stuttering of calling you photogenic evolved into asking you to be his model more often — until you took the first step to ask for his number. and a year later, you two stand strong: walking down the aquarium while holding hands.
“oh, yeah— and jellyfish have no brains, hearts, or lungs! they’re very simple organisms, actually.” yuta rambles, pointing to one of the little creatures in question, which simply swims without thinking about much. it is surprising that apparently such thin glass can support such a large amount of water.
you nod slowly, hearing every word with the utmost attention, because, really, how could you not? he's usually so shy and speaks so little around other people, but at home or with you, he can just talk about his extremely nerdy interests. it was one of the things that brought you two closer, in fact. (although, it would have been better if he flirted back instead of rambling about the structure of a camera that one day…)
“so, how are they built like?” you ask, already knowing (superficially) that jellyfishes don’t actually have any of these organs. you just want to hear that gentle, smooth voice with a hint of excitement break it down to you.
yuta smiles so widely, as if he couldn't be happier that you asked. so cute, you think.
“okay, okay. think about it.” he lets go of your hand for the smallest of moments, to gesture as he explains — pouting for a second. but it is for the greater good of getting you to understand the biology of jellyfish. “their bodies are made up of just three layers— the outer epidermis, a gelatinous middle layer called the mesoglea, and the inner gastrodermis.”
again, you nod along to his explanation — even if now you're more focused on the cute way his fingers move to draw the patterns in the air more than the words themselves. but you can't resist the opportunity to make a joke.
“layers? like onions?”
“no, love, not like onions—” he sighs, almost sounding disappointed by your comparison. he pouts like a bunny about to throw a tantrum and stomp the ground furiously. you can't help but laugh at the way his lips curve, and you grab his wrist for an apology.
you bring his hand up to your mouth, kissing the back of it slightly. it always makes him red in the face, and he cups your cheek softly, trying to keep you close.
“okay, not like onions. got it.”
yuta huffs slightly — murmuring something about accepting your mistakes — before he goes back to rambling. however, now you are lost in thought.  jellyfish have an elementary nervous system with receptors that detect light, vibrations, and chemicals in the water. Along with the ability to sense gravity, these capabilities allow the jellyfish to navigate... it all goes over your head as you think: how did you two get here? from small texts and giggles, to letters and home dates. to stargazing to kissing, and so much more—
“love?” he asks, more worried than upset. “you’re silent. are you alright?” yuta is quick to reach for your hand again, his dark blue eyes reminding you that he is prettier than the ocean. soft, gentle and warming as a bonfire, but calm and fluid as the water.
“yes. just thinking about how much i like hearing you talk about stupid fish.”
he gasps dramatically, pretending to be offended. “just for you to know, despite the name, jellyfish are actually cnidarians, which are a type of invertebrate—”
before he can ramble any longer, your fingers detach from his, and both of your gentle hands come up to grab him by the cheeks. yuta would protest, but soon your lips are glued to his, and his brain melts.
all information about any kind of marine animal just disappears, and you are all that is left on his mind. the taste of your lips, the smoothness of your hands, the prettiness of your eyes. you, you, you.
you lean back, giving him that little smirk that tells the poor man you know exactly what you just did. you threw him off his feet.
“what were you saying, yuta? about— cnidarians?”
“i—” he sighs, smiling softly and muttering a what am i going to do with you under his breath. “i don’t actually remember.”
you chuckle, kissing his cheek and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. yuta bumps his nose against yours gently, and you hear someone complaining about young couples nowadays have no shame.
“what do you want to see next?” he asks lovingly.
“let’s take a look at puffer fish.” you mutter back, giving a small peck to his lips before pulling away. he smiles excitedly, going back to his rambles.
“oh, did you know that adult puffer fish have just four teeth, fused together into one strong beak? they use this to open clams or mussels, and scrape algae off rock—”
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© made by spiralryomen on tumblr. do not copy, repost, translate my works in this or any other side — inspirations allowed with credits.
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holllandtrash · 2 years ago
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the people's princess | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x princess!reader (selin yagcioglu faceclaim)
everyone thought charles was the princess of monaco but when the real one comes out hiding and slowly inserts herself into the world of f1, suddenly 2 princesses don't seem so bad i know very little about royalty and monarchs so uhh dont come for me
princessyn.updates
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liked by dailyceleb, monaco.daily and 25,91 others
princessyn.updates meet the 22-year-old Princess, who is set to be Monaco's first female monarch since the 17th century. Y/N has kept out of the spotlight for much of her youth as she focused on academics until recently where it is announced she attended Collège Alpin Beau Soleil in Switzerland and Kings College of London
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genzprincesses where the hell has she been hiding
userjanessa this is now a y/n fan account
perceval_lordsharl this is a lie, charles leclerc is the TRUE princess of monaco
monacomonarchynews
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liked by monaco.daily, princessyn.updates and 18,103 others
monacomonarchynews The 23-year-old Princess, Y/N is the only child of Albert II, Prince of Monaco. Y/N has studied abroad in the United States, Sweden and in Dubai up until recently. She has now returned to Monaco and has shifted her studies to the Monarchy.
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userjanessa this is conflicting information
ynismommy hello didn't another account say shes 22 and studied in switzerland and london?? what is the truth
allthefandoms so no one knows anything about her is what it seems like
fantasy_leagues_lewis kinda sus...charles would never
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driverupdates
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liked by carlossleclerc, paddocklewis and 17,204 others
driverupdates charles leclerc seen back in monaco following the australian grand prix!
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hunnyseb he's calling fred and putting in his 2 weeks after the chaos that was sunday
sharls16 hes angry but he's pretty
pole.positions he needs this break more than any other driver lmaaao
yn.ofmonaco
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liked by daily.celeb, ynfanclub and 19,182 others
yn.ofmonaco happy to be home
view all 2,104 comments
ynfanclub she is the moment
userjanessa i've been WAITING for her first post and the princess did not dissapoint
sharls16 maybe charles will be in a better mood once he meets the literal princess of monaco
happyhamilton ??? are they. .. supposed to meet? sharls16 i mean, why wouldn't they? he's f1 royalty and she's ROYALTY royalty both from monaco lestappen i would pay so much money to see them together r u kidding
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princessyn.updates
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liked by ynismommy, monaco.daily and 24,192 others
princessyn.updates Y/N has just arrived at the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco Gala ! This is the first public event she has attended but we hope to see more of her as she settles into life as a Royal in Monaco
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ynismommy okay i luv her
yellowferrari wait didn't charles go to this thing last year?? what if he's here this year too 👀👀
charschumick ARE WE GONNA GET A ROYAL ON ROYAL MEET UP FINALLY
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yn.ofmonaco
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liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 46,102 others
yn.ofmonaco so happy to have been able to attend the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco gala tonight, as a girl i was always so inspired by my father and what he has given back to this country. I can't wait to have a bigger role in this organisation moving forward ♡
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ynismommy oh shes smart kind AND charitable
user.schumacher if charles doesn't date her i will
ferrarisandmclarens lewis hamilton what are you doing here in her likes
gussellreorge im sorry but the fact that she doesnt even follow 8 time world champion lewis hamilton but he's still out here liking her pictures...like the drivers know shes a catch leclercswatch idc about her and lewis i care about the non-existent her and charles
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princessyn.updates
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liked by charles_leclerc, monaco.daily and 28,216 others
princessyn.updates Princess Y/N is back in Boston this week as she has been invited to be a keynote speaker at Massachusetts Institute of Technology
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usermclaren ok so we all heard that charles liked this post and came here to see if it was true right
sharl16 he's making moves usermclaren is he?
bottasspls so is she a business bitch or a princess
ynismommy both
charles_leclerc added to their story
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yn.ofmonaco
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liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 59,827 others
yn.ofmonaco What a whirlwind couple of days! I will never take anything in life for granted, thank you mitsloan for inviting me back to speak to future graduates and thank you to the kind stranger at the train station who helped me figure out where I was going (also I just learned what a photo dumb was...did I do it right?)
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ynismommy sweetheart its a photo DUMP
mclarenstractors my favorite thing about Y/N is that she understands social media about as much as my 45 year old mother does
pierregasly 8/10 on the boston dump
yn.ofmonaco That's a passing grade, I will take it!
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francisca.cgomes
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liked by pierregasly, joris__trouche and 32,765 othes
francisca.cgomes what's better than a last minute trip to nyc
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pierregasly you almost said no
francisca.cgomes but i made it
camii_18 her and pierre are so cute 🥺🥺
bottastappen am i insane or is that the princess of monaco herself in that last picture
ynismommy Y/N was hanging out with kika AND pierre?? i need a 2000 word essay on how this came to be with citations
sharlandsainz but where is charles why isn't he in any photos or did he leave before the princess showed up 🥲
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inthepits.podcast added to their story
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yn.ofmonaco
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liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 53,102 others
yn.ofmonaco Art has always been a passion of mind and to be able to accompany Establishment Preschool Des Carmes during their trip to the art gallery was so inspiring and I hope to do it again soon with other schools
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ynfanclub she is quite literally an angel
formulafirstpls i have it in my head that she is genuinely the sweetest person to ever exist and honestly, i think i'm right
francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹
charles_leclerc Quelle expérience amusante! What a fun experience!
yn.ofmonaco Tu devrais nous rejoindre la prochaine fois! You should join us next time! liked by charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yn.ofmonaco, pierregasly and 412,103 others
charles_leclerc miamiiiii 🌴☀️🏎 ready for the weekend
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scuderiaferrari game face on
f1mia we're ready for the ferrari boys 🏎❤️
yn.ofmonaco Make Monaco proud!
charles_leclerc i will do my best 😊
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yn.ofmonaco
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liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 78,102 others
yn.ofmonaco It only makes sense that my first Grand Prix is Monaco❤️ While I'm thankful for the experiences I had as a child that led me to studying around the world, I must say it's an incredible feeling to be home and cheering on charles_leclerc and scuderaferrari 🏁
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scuderiaferrari and we're so happy to have you here ❤️
ynismommy SHES CHEERING ON CHARLES
ynfanclub WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE HE'S LITERALLY FROM MONACO
sharl16 one princess cheering on another princess
charles_leclerc 😊😊😊😊
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scuderiaferrari
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liked by yn.ofmonaco, carlossainz55 and 513,443 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
scuderiaferrari And for the first time Charles Leclerc is a RACE WINNER at his home race, the pinnacle of Motorsport, THE MONACO GRAND PRIX🏁🏎😎 Well deserved win for our Monegasque driver❤️
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charles_leclerc thank you thank you❤️
yn.ofmonaco Well deserved indeed! Well done charles_leclerc!
charles_leclerc thank you y/n😊 means even more that you and your family were there to watch today liked by yn.ofmonaco yellowferraris this is not a drill, the princess of monaco has FINALLY followed charles back and now they are being all cute and friendly in the comments hannah_notmontana she was waiting for him to actually make monaco proud before tossing the follow 💀💀
yn.ofmonaco
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liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 155,283 others
yn.ofmonaco Had to go through the archives to find this one, but congratulations to my longtime friend charles_leclerc for his Monaco win today! Sundays are officially my new favourite day of the week❤️
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charles_leclerc so much love for you, merci y/n
ynfanclub YA'LL THEY HAVE BEEN FRIENDS THIS WHOLE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING
ynismommy oh my good god we've been bamboozled
pierregasly now that the princess is out of hiding you have to give the crown back charles_leclerc
yn.ofmonaco What does this mean? pierregasly charles has been deemed monaco's princess since you have been gone🤣 charles_leclerc 😐😐😐 yn.ofmonaco Ohh, it's okay charles_leclerc you can keep the crown as long as I get the title haha charles_leclerc i am not a princess scuderiaferrari not with that attitude liked by yn.ofmonaco and pierregasly
aaaand im back with another long smau hehe this was fun, if you made it this far thank you and ily and check out my masterlist here
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bruhstation · 1 month ago
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hello tumbled er
greetings and salutation. it is I, senja heterocaine, speaking to you through your favorite home screens. now you might be wondering: where on earth has senja heterocaine disappeared to these past 5 months? well the answer is as simple as it gets
I focused on my studies.
well yes that is the main reason. but that's like the nerd "obvious" answer. there’s other reasons too. some of which includes me getting into new interests, revisiting my old, hibernating interests, getting involved in university organizations and events, getting more involved in big family stuff since I'm the oldest and the only of-age grandchild of grandma from mom's side.... lots of stuff
so I just finished the third semester of premed school right. honestly speaking, with how I was losing motivation on drawing, the art block post-art fight, and lack of time, I decided to well, take a break. and it’s pretty convenient too since it was early on in the third semester. during the entirety of it I was feeling pretty proud of myself like "oh I've been studying a lot. I've taken a break from drawing and blog stuff. surely things will get better" and it did! not immensely but it's significant enough that for once I don't feel an indescribable sense of terror after the semester ends. the focus of this semester was about reproduction systems and growth and development which is pretty fun? we get to use models and medical phantoms hands-on and poke them with needles and other rube goldberg contraptions. I did miss breeding bacterias in petri dishes and seeing my friends burn the microbiology lab’s ceiling like last semester though. my grades are also improving… slowly but surely
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(aftermath not pictured: me lounging on the couch scrolling through quora to see if there are people currently in college wanting to drop out)
maybe I was aiming too high. at least my grades are better than the previous two semesters and my social life is much better than it was back in high school. speaking of exams -- I went through my first osce exam around a week ago (practical exam to see if you can actually perform the skills labs lessons from the entire semester like you're a real physician). it was the most terrifying day of the month. my dentist said I have a big tongue and that’s why I can’t speak properly if I’m being too fast. ntm I WAS NERVOUS!!! MY FIRST OSCE!!! with how I memorized everything I needed, I was pretty confident that I'd pass, though. I didn't and retook the exam the next day. the prelude was the worst crash out ever
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ah ptooey. I'll just take it like a champ. my tutor who's 3 years older than me and currently in the anesthetic rotation of co-ass told me that things will get easier but that's very subjective. he's a medical olympiad student after all. my parents are pretty happy though with how my academic life is becoming better so that's that
LETS MOVE ON TO SOMETHING LIGHTER. section B: what I've been getting into ever since bruhstation was put on cryostasis
you know Transformers One (2024)? the transformers movie directed by josh cooley? based on the Transformers(tm) franchise by Takara Tomy and Hasbro? most tragic break up movie of the decade? I watched it twice, squealed once, and left me broken and inconsolable for weeks on end. it made me revisit my dormant transformers interest after 5 years. I've reread the idw comics (mtmte, LL, taao, main transformers comic), and is currently checking out more (reading the wreckers saga right now). god it made me miss rodimus and friends' zany space opera adventures. I've always envisioned casa tidmouth to have the same tone as mtmte... the oftentimes dark humor, fridge horror stuff, weird magic/science, the roller coaster of emotions, confronting the past... its crazy good.
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stories where misfits and knuckleheads band together in a confined space while having crazy doctor who-like adventures am I right. like I want casa tidmouth to be like that. remind me to thank 14 year old me for this trip down memory lane. and as usual, I tend to make self-indulgent crossovers of any interest I'm thinking about at the moment with casa tidmouth
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a terrifying sneak peak on what's to come.
I've been working on my oc projects too. you may have seen some of them on artfight (graciela, saudade, altair, etc) but I've been focusing the most on graciela and saudade's universe, children's heterotopia. it has the largest amount of characters in any story I've created (not counting casa tidmouth), the most effort put into planning the stories and weaving in its themes about capitalism, patriarchy, period-typical bigotry, etc. there's human experimentation and they're given powers that range from punching super hard to time and space displacement. I also inserted whatever I wanted into the story. sure, yes, there's a lesbians-only organization of which its members are named off the knights of the round table, theres a mafia that focuses more on the family drama and attempted parricide from all angles, and tragic assassin maids of which their names are wuthering heights references. also if you've been following my main tumblr hajimedics for a while, you might've seen my three fairly oddparents ocs. well I've given them the tezuka star system treatment and inserted them into children's heterotopia as well.
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I've also gotten into UTAU production! I've made a number of UTAU covers but haven't uploaded them to youtube. only shared them around with my friends on priv twitter. a good friend of mine assisted in the creation of my own UTAU voicebank! their name is TORKA (like "torque"), their voice bank has a slight accent when singing in japanese (because I'm their voice lol) and CV-only, their in-universe lore is that they're an intergalactic train conductor picking up wayfarers and outcasts trying to find a place in the vast universe, and I love them dearly
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moving on! this is a thomas the engine and company blog THIS IS A LIFE UPDATE POST
I'd rather not discuss about how I'm doing mentally in deep detail BUT what I'll say is that I can't confidently say "I'm doing better" or "I'm doing worse" because it always depends on the days. things are okay-ish nowadays. some days are scary. some days are boring. I still experience delusions, (ironically) worried about my anhedonia, and believe that certain bouts of confidence will trigger a jinx, but I think I've been controlling myself well? at least? I keep internalizing the belief that I'm an adult. 20 years old. I have to act accordingly and my life in real life is ten times more important than the internet. things are going to change more and more once I graduate premed and began the co-ass program. I have to think 10 steps into the future. building successful connections before you turn 30. sigma grindset and all that. sorry that was my father using my body as a spirit medium
AND ALSO. ALSO. BACK TO THE BLOG DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME I PROMISED TO MAKE A COMIC BASED ON THE RESULTS OF THE 1000 FOLLOWERS POLL AND NEVER DID UNTIL NOW. I'm terribly sorry. I promise I will get into it I SWEAR procrastination is kicking my ass. I have to plan the dialogue and script and stuff AND DRAW BUT
BUT HERE’S THE FUNNY THING
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THE BLOG REACHED 2000+ FOLLOWERS A FEW MONTHS AGO
NOW WHAT DO I DO TO CELEBRATE?
I don’t know honestly. I haven’t done the 1000+ followers celebratory comic, and NOW I HAVE 2000+ FOLLOWERS. THERES 2000+ OF YOU NOW!!!!! THAT’S CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY)!!!! I thank you all for sticking with bruhstation through thick and thin for around 2 and a half years. I’m glad for all your support, fanarts, asks, and such truly. like wow. 2k. in such a short time too! thanks guys. admittedly, I feel kind of guilty to leave everyone hanging for months with nothing to give, especially with such a high follower number. and realistically? I don’t think I’ll be able to draw as much as I used to. like I’ve said earlier, I’ve been busy with my personal life and oc projects. it’s not like I’m abandoning this blog any time soon? I’m just speaking from a logical perspective, given my status as a student and (possibly, hopefully) future doctor too. I don't want to burn myself out posting like thrice a week, answering asks daily, I want to take things slow. at my own pace. maybe I'll focus on designing side characters as well and thinking about their roles in the story! but that's for another day. I’m just glad everyone’s still sticking around and enjoying my silly stuff
I do want to draw more for this blog! I want to put thomas and co. in more situations. make them dance for all our entertainments. but when you’re an adult, you realize that you have your own priorities. you can’t always do the things you wanna do. you can’t just drop something you don’t like out of the blue. sometimes you have to sigh, scratch the back of your neck, and brave it while saying “I sure am getting old”
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oh and also I'm a butch lesbian now. still he/they (heavy preference on he/him), still preferring masculine terms like "mr", "sir", "guy", still as crazy as ever. still aroace too and not interested in dating, something that's been a constant in my identity ever since I'm in early high school. little have changed I can assure you this. I am still senja. senja heterocaine from the net.
and thus concludes senja’s life update post! what will the next post after this be about? something gordon-centric again? serious colored art? old men yaoi? silent hill UK localization? place your bets. everyone loves a good laugh
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therealitiestraveler · 22 days ago
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How I manifested my cat, my glow up, being accepted in my desired university, my best friend and friend group, a gym being built next to where I live
Initial note: My blog is mostly about reality shifting, but I also have my share of experiences with manifestation, so here is this post, I hope that this post can help and motivate you guys.
This is a long one so keep this one to read when you have time, good reading guys.
Contents
Method I used
My results
Context: At the time I wanted to manifest all this I was finishing highschool and in my country we have exams that we have to pass in order to be accepted in university and I was studying in the summer for those exams.
In that same year I was also highly focused on learning about manifestation. Initially I found subliminals and my first move was try them, they worked and then my first thought was “okay, this works, why does this work?” and then I went into the rabbit hole of manifestation and how reality works with the goal of understanding it, this from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective (I also had some background from my practice with witchcraft).
Around that time I heard a lot about law of assumption, so I decided to put that into practice, in the future I am planning to make a post explaining, or in other words, simplifying the law of assumption in simple terms + why it works (more often than not I found that, even though it is not necessary to understand it for it to work, when I understand the why’s it makes it easier for me to be confident with my manifestations and confidence can be quite important in manifestations).
At this time in my life I had recently discovered notion (organization app) and I was using it to organize my life, at the time I created a page for those specific manifestations and I started to write them down as if I already had them, it was something like this:
I am [insert description of my appearance]
I have a cat, that cat is [insert description of cat] and they are [insert cat personality]
I have been accepted in [insert university name] and I am currently studying there
I have my best friend, my best friend is [insert personality traits]
My friend group has [insert amount of people] and they are [insert people personality] my friend group is [insert friend group dynamic]
Etc. (you guys understand the concept)
I wrote that and after that I almost forgot about it, I ended up detaching from it in a way, mostly because I was busy at the time with my studies and with managing my social and academic life, now years later I realized that I ended up putting the law of detachment into action without being aware of it. I didn't think about it again, until my second year of college were I was reorganizing my notion for the new academic year and much to my surprise I found that page in deepest parts of my notion and I got even more surprised to find out that basically everything went according to what I wrote, basically everything because i’m gonna explain how it worked out in the end in the next part of this post.
Results
Cat: Ever since I was younger, I had always wanted a cat. However, my family didn’t want any pets, so it was almost a lost cause, yet I gave it a try. When I described my pet affirming that I had it, I actually described two cats, an orange cat and a white cat. I did this in summer, and my precious cat appeared in my house in early April of the next year.
He simply popped up on the front side of my house and decided he was gonna there, he was quite small at the time, probably he had been born in the previous months, he also was quite skinny and seemed to not be doing well, probably because he was young and a stray and was still trying to figure is own way in the world and trying to survive on the streets. So I slowly started to take care of him, he was already basically living in the garden of my house so it was easier for me at the time.
Over the course of time he eventually stayed there and got bolder, at some point he started to get inside the house and be with us. Later after my cat had been around I discovered that my family had tried to lead the cat away by guiding him away on the street by playing traces of food on the way and also tried to move him to other streets on my neighborhood, all of this while I was away in classes so that I wouldn't know (yes, I’m still bitter about it but anyways) however they were always unsuccessful, because as soon as they arrived back at home the cat was already there again, most of the times before them (I love my silly loyal little cat). So eventually they gave up, we took the cat to the veterinary and took care of everything and ever since then my cat has been with me.
And I can confidently say and my family often jokes that my cat presence was fate, because despite their failed attempts the cat decided that he was gonna stay here, apparently i’ve also became his favourite human, because out of everyone he spends more time with me and in my space, and gets along better with me than with anyone else in my family (I think that he’s still bitter with them too, understandable, I am too).
Remember that previously I said that the cats I wrote down were one orange and one white? Well that’s actually quite funny because my cat is orange and white.
Glow up: I described in detail and I have to confess the changes have been almost insane. I only noticed it because I went this year to more social activities because I finally had free time and most of the comments I received from people were about how much I’ve changed and my sudden glow up, and that lead me to actually search for pictures from the time I wrote that and I indeed noticed some major changes.
Some of these changes were a visible weight loss, more muscle mass, my hair is a lot more healthier, my metabolism is a lot faster now, my skin is a lot more healthy and clean, and something about my face that I can’t quite put into words also is a lot more different in a way that I am extremely grateful. I was surprised looking back at photos of me at the time I wrote it and the way I look now.
University acceptance: At the time I was choosing my university course I was concerned because I was applying for a course with not many university vacancies in my country, at least not many close to where I live and I knew I wanted to study in college but still be at home.
So I wrote it next to my manifestations there and guess what? That same day I went to apply for my desired university, I went to the secretary of the university to give my information and I gave them the documents we usually have to give, and on that same moment I was accepted into that university!! The happiness and disbelief I experienced that day was unimaginable and every day I am thankful for that, I literally stared at the man that was attending me for a couple of seconds that moment blinking as I processed the information and the man confused repeated himself again and I snapped out of it accepting it as a reality and proceed with the process, my reaction was as comical as it sounds.
Best friend and my friend group: When I was scripting my best friend and friend group I described them using typology (personality systems, one example of a typology system on the topic of personality would be for example mbti), and years later I’ve realized that indeed all the people in my friend group (the main one and the one where we hang out together the moat) have the exact typology I wrote that time.
I also met all of them in university as I planned too and the dynamic is also like I described and I am eternally thankful to have a friend group with the people I have.
Gym: The gym being built next to where I live (10 minutes away in walking distance if I am walking slow), I’ve always been physically active, however I never actually went to a gym because there weren’t that many close to where I live and with my lifestyle I have I would end up losing a lot of time on my way to the closest ones and I just couldn’t waste that time.
So imagine my surprise when less than a year after I’ve written those manifestations I happen to receive the news that people are building a gym less than 10 minutes away from my house? Nowadays it is already built and I often go there. This is the moment where I tell people that are often stressed to contemplate going to the gym or working out, it does magical wonders for one’s mood.
That’s all guys foe this post guys, I hope that this post is useful and motivates people, I always try to share some more details because it might help people get motivated and it can also be quite funny sometimes.
Good shifting and good manifestations everyone!!
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kozycub · 3 months ago
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My history!!
Hey everyone! I know I’ve been promising this post for a while, and I’m sorry for the delay—I’ve been very busy on these days. But here it is!
I’m Ethan, and I want to share my journey with incontinence to build confidence and give you a glimpse into my daily life. Over the past two weeks, adult diapers have been a total lifesaver for me, protecting my clothes and my furniture!
I’ve been dealing with incontinence for almost my whole life. From what I can remember, I’ve always worn diapers at night, and as I outgrew regular ones, my parents refused to keep gettin them and I often woke up to a wet bed. It hasn’t always been this challenging, but it’s definitely had its struggles.
When I was a kid, around six or seven, i used to wear baby diapers, so I wouldn´t wake up in a wet bed. My parents, believing I was doing it on purpose, stopped putting me in diapers. At that time, I didn’t have the money for products like Goodnights or pull-ups, and my parents weren’t very understanding. They thought punishing me would make the problem go away, but that just made things worse.
I spent my preteen years using towels under my sheets. Whenever I got some pocket money, I’d sneak off to the drugstore for overnight mats, terrified of my parents finding out. After all those years, I don’t blame them; they just didn’t know how to handle the situation.
Having friends over or even thinking about sleepovers felt impossible. I wasn’t very social, but I did have a few good friends in elementary school, always keeping my reality as a top secret. Eventually, my parents just let me deal with it alone.
As I entered high school, I focused more on my studies and slowly had fewer accidents—maybe just one or two nights wet per week at most. This continued into college, where I was finally able to work and gain some financial independence. I got my own place and could manage my incontinence on my terms, but it never completely went away.
During that time, I was in a relationship with someone who initially promised to support me. Unfortunately, after a few weeks sleeping together, the reality of my nightly routine was too much for her, and we parted ways.
Each time I dated someone new, I had to come clean about my situation. Some were kind and simply left, while others laughed and ghost me after. I never managed to maintain a relationship for a longer time.
Over time, I met many people, but when it came to our first night together, revealing my situation often led to them ending things. That was until I met my current spouse, who has been my rock throughout this journey.
For a while, accidents were rare, and I thought I could finally ditch the protective mats. But recently, my incontinence worsened, and I found myself back in diapers and now for full-time. It all changed after a particularly embarrassing moment stuck in traffic—I just couldn’t hold it anymore.
This has been a period of new experiences, learning about my body, and working on my self-esteem. I’ve come to accept that I can lead a happy life while wearing diapers to avoid accidents.
Now, I can enjoy family gatherings without anxiety about wetting my pants. Going out to restaurants and public places is no longer a big deal. I can even invite friends over without worrying about embarrassing odors or accidents. After so long, I finally feel like myself again, knowing I’m not any less of a person for managing my incontinence.
I think that’s enough for today! I know I’ve left out some details, but I’m here to answer any respectful questions you might have, please feel free to ask.
Take care, Ethan 💫.
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jude-duarte-wannabe · 2 months ago
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childhood sweetheart material
oh my god!!! it's finally here, i made sure to change the posting settings this time!! i know it's not a bakery request but i've been writing them and i have a bunch in my drafts, i've got my sister editing them for me and hopefully one will be out soon... but for now enjoy my lovely's <3
pairing; carlos sainz jr x childhood best friend viviana martinez [original character]
blurb; this is a list of cute things childhood friend turned husband carlos sainz jr and his childhood friend turned wife viviana martinez do in my smau series that i'm working on called since we were eighteen, this story features a original character but for your reading pleasure, i've used 'you' and 'y/n' in this little snippet <3
currently playing; everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran "cause all i know is we said, "hello" and your eyes look like comin' home, all i know is a simple name and everything has changed, all i know is you held the door, you'll be mine and i'll be yours, all i know since yesterday is everything has changed"
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from day one, you were the one;
your families have been friends for the longest time and while carlos was born a few years before you, you've been friends since you could babble at eachother
carlos can in fact still remember meeting you for the very first time, how tiny you were and his mother still has the photo of three year old carlos kissing your forehead but her personal favorite was one of you two falling asleep on eachother in the backseat of a car when she was dropping you off after a play-date
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and so the years kept passing;
as years go by, you and carlos slowly begin to drift apart pursuing different careers and life goals, you knew from a young a age that you loved carlos but didn't realize it was in the romantic way until far later in life
during your teenage years, your parents thought you two were dating and no matter how much your denied it, they never believed you but that was probably due to the platonic to you both kisses you would place on eachothers cheeks or foreheads
when you were nineteen and about to move away and not see carlos for the next four to five years, not that you knew that at the time, you'd begged him to be your first time, it was one of those cliche moments of not wanting to go to college a virgin but he turned you down, saying he didn't want to ruin what you had, what a joke that seemed like now
when you two were young, around the ages of fourteen and eleven, you joked about marrying eachother one day, you even made a contract about how if you were still single after you'd turned twenty two that you'd tie the knot with eachother but as you grew apart, that contract was long forgotten about
coming back to eachother;
you found eachother again at a family reunion, you'd arrived early and got talking with his mother, catching up about life when she brought out old photo albums and low and behold at the back of the album was a paper or contract that you'd long forgotten had existed
you'd been sipping a drink in the garden when you heard the familiar voice, you'd gotten to talking when the topic of relationships came up and you discovered the both of you were single
you joked about tying the knot but he joked back about taking him to dinner first, which you did for giggles but you just fell in love with talking to eachother and began to meet up more often which eventually led to confessed feelings that had been hidden for too long, this left the rest as history
telling your families;
you were both nervous to say the least, your parents had been friends since they themselves were children, little did either of you know both of your sisters had already started to notice the change between you, the little stares and stolen glances but they had noticed it too late.. about three years too late in fact
the two of you had been planning to tell them sooner but you didn't want to give them false hope in case you broke up but you began to like the privacy and how it was just the two of you and before you knew, the two of you were approaching your three year anniversary
it was actually at your anniversary dinner that carlos proposed, you had both just stepped off a twelve hour flight and decided that instead of going out you'd get pizza
carlos thought there would be no better time than when you both sat on the couch eating pizza in comfy clothes to propose, you however almost lost it, you knew your answer was yes but instead of saying the first words out of your mouth were "you let me do this sweatpants" [if you've seen this video, i love you]
it was a week later at the traditional joint family dinner when everyone found out, your younger sister basically screaming her head off when she saw the ring on your finger as you reached for your wine glass
"what is that!" she squealed to which you winced in return and carlos chuckled, your mother looked betrayed as she too just now noticed the ring adorning your finger "when did that happen, i didn't even know you were seeing someone" she asked flabbergasted.
"does this mean you and carlos aren't together" your youngest sister had asked, she was only ten but loved carlos so much, you and carlos shared a knowing look before he shrugged his shoulders and leaned over to kiss you... that set off a frenzy among your family members
when it comes to work;
you work as an actress in horror / thriller films but you absolutely hate being scared, your the biggest wuss carlos knows but his favorite thing about your job is that he has a video on his phone of when one of your cast-mates scared the shit out of you and you screamed like the scream queen that you are
you often come home from set covered in fake blood to which carlos can't help but panic every time thinking your injured before he catches his breath and then helps you wipe it all off but not without you covering him in fake blood first
carlos quite often comes to your photo-shoots and one time the photographer wasn't happy with how the photos were working out, said that their was no real chemistry between you and the male model you had been working with and so he called a break during which you hung out with carlos, sitting in his lap and just enjoying eachothers company when the photographer caught sight of you both and it was like a light bulb went off in his head, that was the birth of the photo you had forever pinned to your instagram account
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carlos always insisted on watching your movies, no matter how often you told him he didn't need to you would still come home to find him curled up on the couch with pinon as he pointed and mumbled "there's our girl" in his rough tired voice
your not afraid to show your support to carlos at his races either, attending as a long lost but now returned childhood friend at first but then eventually as his girlfriend and then wife but nobody knew that
while lando was basically carlos's best friend, to you he was your paddock child and you never let him forget it either
one of carlos's favorite things about your job was getting to see you in the gorgeous red carpet dresses, you would always show him and if he happened to be off racing, you'd facetime him instead, he loved being able to zip them up and feel your warm skin as he did it, his favorite dress was this one:
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you were honestly carlos's biggest fan and without both his and his fans knowledge, you'd started an account on instagram where you posted the most outrageous things about him like this: which is one of your more tame posts btw
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whenever carlos wins a race, gets on the podium or just no matter what place he gets, your wrapping your arms around him as soon as you can and whispering in his ear "i'm so proud of you mi sol"
kisses + cuddles;
there's different kinds of cuddles when it comes to yours and carlos's relationship, these include;
straddled cuddles were your sitting in his lap and wrapped around him, there is nothing sexual about it, just the two of you enjoying eachothers company
hugs from behind no matter where you are, in the motor-home or even the supermarket, carlos just likes to be holding you
and your personal favorite is when he's so exhausted and turns into the little spoon
and finally there's just this;
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and then there's all the different kinds of kisses you two share
there's shoulder kisses most of which occur when carlos is hugging you from behind but they also happen in the early morning when carlos is awake and your still asleep but he just feels the need to kiss you in some way
thigh kisses, he loves to kiss your thighs and not just in the sexual way which he does indeed enjoy giving you but it also happens when he's laying in your hold with his head half in your lap and half resting on your legs
then there's the tippy toe kisses, the height difference between you and carlos was adorable but you often have to either stand on your tip toes or wear heels in order just to kiss him
then there's the kisses that you place all over his face after race cause no matter what place he comes, your always so happy for him and just need him to know how much you love him
then there's the kisses you have to tug at his shirt in order to give to him
there's the one where your kissing in bed, not in a sexual way but the 'i've missed you' loving way that has you rolling around and giggling, never wanting the kisses to end
and finally there's the kisses that both of you moaning in-between, it's these ones that normally led to your sexual encounters with eachother
touches and intimate moments;
you two have a habit of one of you two laying in bed, watching the other change in the morning or after a shower, you once said you trusted no one like how you trusted carlos and that's why you let him watch you change
then there's the times when either of you come home either from work or a race, so you sit behind eachother and gently massage the others shoulders
if your ever in the way which carlos says that you never are, he'll hook his fingers into your belt loops and gently scoot you out the way
carlos is the kind of boyfriend where if your too tired to move at the end of the day or after an event, he'll sit and gently wash your makeup from your face while your falling asleep
during the races that happen in colder countries, your often caught on camera pulling carlos close to hug him in order to warm up
your also often caught on camera walking through the paddock together with carlos's hand tucked into the back pocket of your jeans if you happen to be wearing them
and then one of your favorite things about your relationship was taking baths with carlos after a long day, feeling his body pressing against your own just brought you a sense of comfort and peace
dates [of sorts];
one of your favorite dates or even just times that you spend together is having pancake wars; where you two always try to one up eachother with your pancake recipes
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whenever you guys go out for dinner, carlos always makes sure to give you the first bite of his food just in case you want to switch meals like you sometimes did
you would also often bring him lunch and end half the time end up staying so that you could eat together
he'll also sit and read you poetry late at night from your favorite poetry books
whenever you guys stay home and have date night in, carlos will often hover over your shoulder and wait to taste test the meal your cooking
then there are the museum dates you guys go on, art museums in particular have always been a part of your love for italian and spanish culture, a fan once took a photo of you and carlos in a museum where he was holding you up so that you could take photos of some of your favorite works of art
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and finally and personally carlos's favorite was whenever you two went out for gelato, carlos loved the stuff and you loved taking photos of him
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the little things;
just a list of all the little things that you and carlos do slash remember about eachother
your carlos's lock screen and he's yours
he wears your hair ties on his wrist and carries period products in his travel bag just in case you need them in an emergency
he always messages you when your filming to make sure that you've been eating and drinking
the two of you know eachothers routines off by heart, like when he comes home from a morning run, you'll have the shower running and waiting for him
you have a love of classic literature and you often come home to find that he's deep cleaned your bookshelves
you take care of him when he's sick
he'd been whimpering and complaining of a sore throat all day, after a while you'd had enough so you decided to call his mother and ask what she once did when he was sick as a child, when you brought carlos a mug of manzanilla or homemade chamomile tea explaining you'd gotten the recipe from his mother, carlos knew right then and there that he was going to marry you
he once gifted you a stuffed bear and a bottle of his cologne for your birthday so that you had something to cuddle when he was gone and the cologne was for when you missed his smell.. he had to comfort you when you started crying
he loves knowing that you wear his shirts to bed, reminds him that your his
and finally with all the button ups that carlos wears, you often find yourself sewing buttons back onto them, carlos once found you on the couch furiously sewing buttons back onto around ten or so shirts that you'd discovered while doing the washing
no one touches the hair except for you;
when your bored, you often end up begging carlos to let you braid his hair... it's always a yes because ever since childhood, he could never say no to you
you also love to laugh at how messy and fluffed up his hair gets in the morning, the first time you'd seen it you burst out laughing which caused him to blush
down and dirty;
while not going to into detail, here's a list of some of the things you and carlos do in bed
carlos loves eating you out, as mentioned beforehand when discussing his love for giving you thigh kisses
another obvious one was the fact that carlos loved having his pulled during sex
then there's the guided grinding, where his hands gripped at your hips while grinding you down against him
carlos's favorite position to take you in is doggy and no, i personally think there's no explanation needed
carlos has a thing for choking too, you in fact introduced him to it
and finally while it not's something you explore very regularly, you also share a spitting kink
the wedding;
it's been described by friends and family as the most beautiful wedding they'd ever attended, there are photos in the wedding album of you and carlos shoving cake in eachothers faces and instead of a three course meal, you both served pizza at your wedding instead
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nicknames;
your nicknames for carlos include; mi sol [my sun] mi vida [my life] papi and mi amor [my love]
carlos called you his wife all the time, including long before you two were married
his nicknames for you include; my wife, mi vida, mi amor and corazón [heart]
aesthetic playlist;
a list of songs that describe you, carlos and your relationship
young and beautiful by lana del ray
boyfriend by ariana grande ft social house
just friends by why don't we
we can't be friends [wait for your love] by ariana grande
never be the same by camila cabello
lay all your love on me by abba
senorita by shawn mendes ft camila cabello
older by isabel larosa
money money money by abba
too sweet by hozier
everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran [taylor's version]
teenager in love by madison beer
me gustas tu by manu chao
more songs like this can be found on their official playlist
and finally;
this is just how i picture you'd reveal your relationship to the public
movies.with.y/n
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movies.with.y/n; my heart always knew it'd be you @ carlossainz55
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auclairedetoru · 3 months ago
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Ahhh I saw you're also open to writing AoT? Especially Eren?? And I love your little headcanon things, they're so cute! So may I request something sweet with eren too? Maybe a college au or something, they could either be strangers to lovers or idk friends/best friends to lovers (with like years of pining, I love that trope but you do you!). Maybe just some headcanons again💙Have a lovely day!
Thank you for requesting, nonnie 🤍 it's a little short and sweet but I'm definitely going to write more about these in the future!
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who has a big friend group, from childhood friends to his frat brothers.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who people perceive as a typical college student in a frat house. Parties any chance he gets, drinks, sleeps around, has a new girlfriend every two weeks, is failing his classes...etc.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who laughs when he hears those assumptions despite them being partially true. Yeah, he does love to party and have fun, but he wasn't the type to wake up in a stranger's bed every weekend, mainly because the thought of catching an STD is scary, but because he might have eyes for one specific person. He's not stupid, either. He's the top student in all of his classes.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who Intrigues people when they scroll through his social media. He has a few solo posts and some with friends, but when you swipe through all of them, you'll always find the same person present... His best friend y/n.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who has known y/n since middle school and has been inseparable from her since then. He does everything with her, takes her everywhere he goes, his friends are her friends and vice versa. The day they got accepted into the same college was one of the best days of his life.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who loves his best friend so much and isn't afraid to show it. Giving her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek when he first sees her in the morning, holds her hands when walking, wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in a hug, cuddles with her, calls her cute pet names... He just really loves his best friend.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who's actually been in love with y/n since high school but has always been too scared and nervous to confess. Jean - his other best friend - has told him many times that she feels the same because if she didn't she wouldn't allow him to be as affectionate with her but he still refuses to believe him.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who starts hearing the whispers when he's seen with her. People are now saying they might be dating, and those rumours spread like wildfire. He's not doing anything to help calm them down either, but he casually posts a picture of her sleeping in his bed, wearing his sweater, hugging his pillow, with "my world" in the caption.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who despite his nonchalant attitude about everything is worried about her being uncomfortable with his actions, so he asks her about it and she simple answers with sitting on his lap and kissing his cheek, “you know it would be visible all over my face if I'm uncomfortable, 'ren.”, and it's true, he can read her like an open book, even when she tries to hide her emotions.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who's now tired of just being friends and wants to take it a step further. All they need to do is kiss at this point because even their parents think they're an item.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who one morning is on his bed sitting across from y/n who spent the night again. She is still a little sleepy, her hair is a little messy on top of her head and he tries to calm it down a little by petting her head gently, she's wearing his hoodie and drinking from his water bottle. He smiles at her, thinking about how absolutely adorable she looks.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who let's go of everything that was holding him back before and cups her cheek, his thumb slowly caressing the soft plush as he moves his face closer to hers. A soft good morning left his lips making her smile and lean her forehead against his forehead, replying back with the cutest and softest sleepy voice.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who stares at her for a few seconds before leaning in fully and placing his lips against her soft ones, sighing in relief when he feels her kissing him back. His unoccupied arm wraps around her waist and pulls her closer to him until she's on his lap and she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who doesn't hesitate to confess, declaring his love against her lips making her giggle softly in happiness and confessing right back. He feels over the moon, everything he's ever wanted is in his arms, kissing him back, loving him back.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren who proudly shows off the promise rings he got them the same day they made it official. Holding their intertwined hands up so their friends can see them with a big grin on his face, “it's our initials! See? That's the first letter of her name on my finger!”.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Eren whose social media is now only filled with pictures of his pretty girlfriend and unapologetically corny captions. He's spent years wishing he could love her the way he's doing now, and he's not going to hold back now that he's got her.
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267 notes · View notes
defmaybe · 4 months ago
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I Love You, I’m Sorry
Purple Kiss’ Jang Eunseong/Dosie x Male Reader
1.3k words
Song: Gracie Abrams - I Love You, I’m Sorry
See also: Rockland
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Some warning on a discussion of depression
A/N: Part of @mintwithchoco’s prompt exercise!!! It’s very exposition dump-y so apologies for that. Thanks for reading!
You were the best but you were the worst
As sick as it sounds, I loved you first
I was a dick, it is what it is
A habit to kick, the age-old curse
The sun glares down onto the street you’re walking on. The buildings don’t help in shielding it in the afternoon. To add, they even reflect the light onto you even more. You want a place to cool down; you need a place to cool down.
You pace yourself through the bustling heart of the city, looking for just a cold whisper, but everywhere just seems to be so eager to burn you down to shreds. The gray skyscrapers stare down at you, adding melancholy to the street even more.
You stride and stride in the hellish heat, until…
It’s predictable: the modern interior, white and brown furniture, just so ready to be snapped and posted on Instagram. You hurry into the cafe, trying to catch the breeze of the hard-working air conditioner as much as possible. In the meantime, you look around for a seat for your iced tea, until you meet an eye in the patrons.
Maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s a coincidence, but you just can’t walk away now.
She’s in a light blue blouse and her ripped jeans, hands holding her iced latte. She seems to be working on something on her computer.
Back in college, you failed and failed to find that precious rhythm in engineering. You were far from being a failure, to say, but your social life was dry enough to have her, a medical student who lived miles away, as your closest friend after high school ended. And one day, it fell down. Your closeness induced the dormant codependency within, and she left. It’s the memory you’ve been striving to erase and the mistake you’ve been trying to correct ever since.
It would’ve been easy if you just gave her silence, but there has to be a few dramatic scenes, which include ‘I fucking hate you’ or ‘I can’t say that I love you’. This doesn’t even cover the flurries and flurries of messages yet, up until where she blocked you, and you blocked her.
It’s Jang Eunseong–or sometimes Dosie, the name that has been aching inside you ever since.
Slowly, she reaches forward to get her purse on the opposite chair. She nods while giving you a faint smile.
“Iced Latte, please,” you tell the barista.
Slowly, you walk towards her table, still trying to make sense of the image in front of you.
“Sweetness?” They respond.
Slowly, you sit down in the chair. Its legs creak as you drag it across the floor.
“Low, thanks.”
Slowly, Dosie starts the proper conversation as you sit down, face-to-face with her for the first time in almost a decade.
“So, how are you?”
A forced smile exudes. You think of an answer that’s enough to garner her attention, but not too desperate. “I’m fine.”
Her sudden departure left you so bereft to where medication is involved. Valdoxan, Lorazepam, Rivotril, Fluoxetine, Trazodone, you name it. You were lucky that you have lived to this exact day even.
Darkness loomed over you, thoughts looped, words lamented with trembles. And to say, it was all your fault for making such a promising relationship to the ugly crash by yourself. You inflicted yourself with this pain.
The waiter brings your coffee to you, the same as hers.
“Doing anything?” She wants more than a ‘fine’.
You give in. “I’m a photographer now, modelling stuff, you know.”
“You’ve always wanted to be one, aren’t you?”
“It’s more fun than being a programmer, definitely.”
A small chuckle escapes Dosie.
“How are you, though? No one told me about you all these years,” you brush your rinsing tears away with a question mark.
“I’m-” She pauses and nods, lips curling inward, eyes pointing away for a second. “Fine, really. I just got promoted at my hospital.”
It’s either a doctor or an engineer here—the path to stability. And if the contrast between the path isn’t stark enough. There’s a hatred between you two to separate them even further.
“So you’re becoming the hospital manager, aren’t you?” chuckling, you say.
Dosie laughs, hands failing to cover her mouth. “Not really, haha, still a department’s second-in-command.” The air seems to lighten up, not suppressing your smile anymore.
“Well, good for you.”
“Anyone yet?” She inquires again, eyes focused on you.
“Friend of a friend.” Another fake, faint smile with a truth. “You?”
“Same shift, on and off, really.”
It’s swift, the way it just landed and took off, robbing you of any sentiment you may deserve. You’ve played this moment back and forth for too many times during the years apart. But when it just comes and goes like this, you just wish she’d ask for more.
You continue, “Do you remember–,” you halt.
She forces out a smile, matching your eyes for a split second.
“I mean–no, I shouldn’t do this, I’m sorry for bringing it up.”
“Hey.” Dosie reaches out to you. “It’s fine. I’m your fri–” 
Dosie stops in her tracks; resolve falters, causing you to look back up at her. Her eyes are searching for the right excuse in the crowd outside.
“I’m sorry.”—you struggle to hold back the tears welling in your eyes—“I don’t think I should do this.”
Your voice is quivering.
Dosie opens her mouth without a sound, an unknown word stuck in her throat, whatever it might be. Maybe it’s lost in the chatter of the patrons; maybe it’s lost in the piano from the speakers; maybe it’s lost in the huffing sounds of the coffee machine.
Maybe it���s lost in herself.
“So,” Dosie finally breaks another chain of tranquil, and herself, unsure, yet they bind themselves back as fast as they were ripped apart. You two fell into another gap.
Maybe it’s best that you just stop here.
“I guess I should go,” you say, without any destination in your mind. You adjust yourself to slide the chair out.
“Wait.” As you step, Dosie stops you with her shaky voice. Your feet are still, one leading the other. You can’t quite make out what she's going to say next: an insult, a question, an apology? They teeter inside your head to decide what you can’t choose.
You turn back to meet her anxious look—lips quiver, latte in the mug she’s holding up to her chin vibrating as she puts it down. 
Thump.
“I’m–,” Dosie turns the gears in her head, seeking the right word in your eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you’re the one who says it. It can’t be the end here, it can’t be, but at least it might be better than those damned years. You turn back away. “I’m sorry that I didn’t fix myself for you.”
“No, no, no, no,” she climbs the scale with each syllable, hands waving off your guilt. She bends forward, is it to see you closer? “I should’ve been there for you, but I was just-”
You look back, seeing that the composure she has tried to keep during the minutes is crumbling.
“I was selfish,” she says, husk lingering in the statement.
“No, Dosie, it was me,” you respond. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into my mess.”
“I–,” Dosie stops before another apology comes out, careful on her next words.
“Will I- Will I see you again?” She breaks the train into another question, head tilting, brows furrowing. Her now-hoarse voice is blended with the piano.
“Maybe.”
I tend to laugh whenever I’m sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works
Making amends, this shit never ends
I’m wrong again, wrong again
151 notes · View notes
acciocriativity · 2 months ago
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... MEET CUTE? - A POLY!ATEEZ ONE SHOT
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Ateez Masterlist
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Pairing: Non-idol!Ateez x Non-idol!Ateez (established romantic relationship); Non-idol!Ateez x Non-idol fem!reader (platonic); Yunho x reader focused (platonic)
Genre: fluff, tiniest bit of angst
Warnings: implied mention of a homophobic father; one suggestive comment; a lot of loose ends that may or may not thighned up in future;
WC: 3, 4k
N/A: This concept has been on my mind for a few weeks now, so here it is! BTW, I really missed posting here. Hey, pretty people 👋
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When you moved away from home to attend Seoul University, it felt like the world suddenly became bigger in front of your eyes. You remembered all of your mother’s warnings about how it would be harder now, more responsibilities and obligations would be coming your way, how it would be different from the relatively small high school you were used to. Of course, it was all true, and it was hard to adapt at first. However, you didn’t have the heart to tell her that college was nothing but a bigger high school if you met the right people. That was always the impression you had when the name “Jeong Yunho” was mentioned, or God forbid, if he ever walked by one of your friends.
One of the first lessons you learned was that an A-list celebrity wouldn’t have a chance against Yunho. You knew that for sure because someone made an online poll on the college forum for people to vote on it a while ago.
Some knew him by his excellence in hockey back in middle and high school, which still stands untouchable for his age. At least, that’s what you heard from one of your roommates.
“People dug it in the news?”. You were flabbergasted. You looked up from the open notebook on your small desk to your friend, who showed you the photo from an old news article back in 2007.
It was no surprise that prestige and recognition could get anyone far in life. It was much less surprising that people’s eyes shined at someone who had it all. But the lack of having better things to do was truly impressive. You knew you had 3 essays and a quiz coming up, so that effort would never cross your mind.
“I know, right? But don’t you think he was kind of cute then?”
It was a blurry picture of him on the ice, his face barely there. Still, the number 9 on his back clear as day.
“Yeah, kind of…”. Your voice trailed away as you read the small lines under the photo. “Don’t you wonder why he stopped?”
Others had the chance to cross paths with him in a way or another. That took up most of the surrounding rumors to this day. He was an angel, a true Disney Prince and no photo could ever make him justice, which you believed as much as the next person. You knew he was on the last year now, so the fangirling died down from the original fuss. It was worse then, you guessed.
Still, people were fascinated by him in a way that fascinated you. As far as you were concerned, he could drop everything and become a true movie star, a legendary hockey player for the national team or a worldwide famous model, yet here he is, a diligent student on a path to continue his father’ legacy someday and everyone loved and admired him for that. He truly had it all, but wouldn’t those same people take everything away from him if they could? But who are you to say anything, right? You only ever known him by name and a vague description of how much tall and handsome he was, what would you know.
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If his father saw them, no, if he ever dreamed about both of them being anything more… his father would never step foot in a place like this. Those thoughts plagued his mind in moments like these, so it took him some effort to think rationally again. The cold sweat only made him more uncomfortable, waiting for his boyfriend in a simple chair in the so familiar corner of their favorite restaurant was never this nerve-wracking. The window showcased the snow slowly cascading outside. It was supposed to be a nice date, the first snow of the year and all of that, so why. was. he. still. alone?
No sign of an answer from Mingi, he checked his messages again to be sure.
There was no denying that Yunho was an impatient man. He never knew how to wait to get what he wanted, that also apply to have a nice alone time with his boyfriend.
The bell ringing from the entrance bell caught his attention and he fixed his hair on instinct, but it wasn’t Mingi.
There was a uncomfortable pressure slowly forming on Yunho’s chest as he tried yet another failed phone call. Mingi would never have stood him up like this, something must’ve happened. He debated calling Hongjoong, who was still working late shifts and Yunho knew how busy he’s been, nobody really called him at work unless it was a true emergency. So he called Seonghwa instead.
He did his best to seem as casual as he could. Mingi wasn’t picking up his calls, has he left the house yet? It seemed calm enough. Seonghwa told him about a massive traffic congestion on a main street close to their house, but he only seemed to breathe properly when the forgotten phone was found on the couch. Seonghwa tried to ask him if things were alright and he was quick to say yes. They exchanged ‘i love you’s and Seonghwa said something like ‘don’t get home too late’, which made Yunho laugh, because he was the one who told them to “have fun wink wink”. He hang up feeling a bit better.
Mingi was on his way, he only had to be a bit more patient.
His little bubble popped when Mister Kim left a warm drink on his table.
“I didn’t order this, Mister Kim”, Yunho said in a soft yet warning tone as he looked up at the old man smiling at him. “I said I was going to pay for everything today”.
He already drank two cups of coffee in a span of 15 minutes, which he insisted on paying overprice for. Mister Kim is too good for him own sake, and he was away too nice to Yunho and Mingi, both boys he took under his wing a long time ago.
“This one wasn’t me, I swear on the Lord’s name”, Mister Kim said quickly. “This one is from the nice lady who just left”, he whispered as he leaned in.
“Is it? And somehow she guessed my favorite order, hm?”
“Just enjoy it, wouldn’t you? Stubborn boy, tsc, consider it an act of kindness after a rough day”. Mister Kim left shortly after, just as stubborn.
Yunho was speechless for a moment, but couldn’t help his smile. Usually, he doesn’t accept drinks or anything really from “ladies”, knowing well the intentions and feelings behind it. Mister Kim really was too kind for his own good, wasn’t he? Yunho knew he suggested the drink, more than willing to make it for him. Was he really having such a rough day enough for a stranger and Mister Kim himself to notice? However, that was a thought for later, when he finished the warm green tea.
It was only after Mingi and him helped Mister Kim close the restaurant, that he noticed the small “cheer up, bro” written in a black marker on the cup with no pickup line and no phone number.
What a wake-up call right there.
Mingi almost broke his neck from laughing when he saw it. That’s when Yunho decided right then and there he liked that lady, whoever she was.
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By the time you were back to that restaurant a week later, you only remembered the taste of the best moon cakes you’ve ever had in a while. You always crave some when you missed your mom’s desserts, but none ever got close to hers as those. Hopefully, there’s still some left to take home with you.
The place itself wasn’t modern by any means, it felt like a voyage back to your childhood the moment you first came in. You were desperate to escape the cold and the smell of fresh coffee and baked cake led you right to the front door that first night. Although old-fashioned to its core, every surface seemed pretty clean and organized. The soft music playing was a plus for you, so you slowly walked to the empty front counter.
This time was no different, except the distinct smell of strawberries and the fact that there was no client in sight. The nice old man was cleaning one of the tables while humming along, it seemed like that was his favorite song. Since he was in no rush to greet you, you slowly looked through the displayed options, happy to see 3 moon cakes left.
“Excuse me, sir?”. You looked at the man once again. He was now working on another table, but he stopped humming, so you took as a sign to keep going. “Perhaps is there a strawberry cake on the oven right now?”
“Do you like strawberries?”, he asked as he took off his gloves and looked in your direction. His tone was as soft as the first time. He really doesn’t look like he ever yells.
“Oh, yes, I do. It’s my all-time favorite flavor”. You couldn’t help the excited tone on your voice. Strawberry cake always meant something good happened, the only good luck charm you still believe in.
“Really?”, he chuckled. “It’s a shame not a lot of people think like you these days. It rarely sold in the past, so I only make it for special occasions”
You nodded, trying not to look so disappointed. “I understand. Would it be possible to place an order for it? I know it’d be an inconvenience and I don’t mind waiting as long as it’s needed to”.
This time he laughed wholeheartedly, so much so his eyes seemed to disappear. You were surprised to say the least at how delighted he was. “Of course, I could. Why don’t you come back later in the evening? I’ll have one ready to-go”
“Wait, really? Thank you so much, thank you”, you bowed down as many times as it felt right to, which he was quick to wave it off. “Before I leave, can I have those 3 moon cakes?”.
Your hopeful eyes amused him to no end. You were an expressive person, it reminded him of someone dear to him, and he could tell you seemed kind and genuine, the type of client he wanted in his restaurant around his boys.
“A diverse taste bud, I see”.
“It’s thanks to my mom”, you smiled and your eyes lighted up when you mentioned her.
You felt like it was your lucky day as you watched him pack your order.
You felt mortified as you hugged the neatly packed strawberry cake in your hands.
Slowly, you blinked as you processed the name you just heard from the tables on the left. There were three round tables together, around 8 boys in total. They were impossible not to notice as soon as you came in the late evening, because not only they were loud, they were all well-dressed and good looking. Maybe there are truly God’s favorites, it was your only thought about them before you moved over to the counter. But now you were sure you heard the name Yunho in the middle of their conversation and you brain stopped working for a second. That was not in your Christmas bingo card. If it was the Yunho you thought it was, then you were just being weird for no reason. It’s not like he was an actual celebrity. But if it wasn’t him, then it was even worse to you. Maybe you were too invested in those silly conversations you had with your friends.
“Miss Strawberry, are you alright?”, Mister Kim, you found out his name, stared at you with genuine concern.
You stood paralyzed in the front counter.
“Yes! Yes, I am”. Your voice reached a few octaves higher and you looked down as you felt some stares on you, your hair covering the left side of your face. “Can I have those, please?”. You didn’t even see what you pointed at on the display, you could only see your reflection. Why were you even hiding? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong.
“All of them?”
“Yes, all of it, please”, you said as you suddenly stood tall again.
The determination of your face was enough to tell him you were being serious and he had to try hard not to laugh at your expression.
“Yunho, can you come here for a moment?”, Mister Kim gestured for him to come fast as he moved to grab some to-go bags.
That was enough to direct everyone’s attention to you. Then, it downed on you how silent, except a few whispers, the small restaurant became. There was no music playing, which only now you were able to notice it. Those boys’ voices took so much space and created a new kind of ambiance to the point you didn’t notice the soft hum you became such a fan of. But now that it was all gone, you felt awkward and out of place. At the same time you knew nobody really cared about you, there was an immense pressure on your shoulders to act like they did.
“Can you bend down and help me bag all of the croissants?, Mister Kim asked.
Yunho, who was quick on his feet, started to work with a smile on his face. Even if he wasn’t asked to do so, he’d jump to help as soon as he saw it. The display was too low and Mister Kim’s back is not the same anymore.
“Are you taking the back pain pills the doctor told you to?”, Yunho’s tone was light, but he seemed genuine on his concern.
You heard some murmurs as an answer, but your focus was elsewhere.
After a quick glance anyone could tell that Yunho was as tall and handsome as the Jeong Yunho. But what does that even proves? Yunho was a good name to give a child? You were intrigued, the possibility was there after all. The normal man in front of you could be the Jeong Yunho, which if true, would leave you a little bit upset. You heard Yunho was nice, of course he was, but not ‘helping a grandma cross the street’ kind of nice like this. If that was true, people would have to put more credit on the man’s name, he’d be truly just fucking perfect.
Unbeknownst to you, Yunho’s glance on your direction was as quick, but he didn’t remember seen you there before nor he ever heard of a “Miss Strawberry”. Nonetheless, he was happy the restaurant was getting new costumers.
“Making him work on his birthday, you’re mean Mister Kim”, someone said from one of the tables, the light teasing tone made it clear they knew each other for a long time now.
Although those words weren’t meant for you, still, it was you fault he was helping out on his birthday. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him now that he started it. Yunho worked in a efficient and smooth manner, like that was his day job to do so.
“It’s alright”, Yunho said, but nobody seemed to notice but you, it felt like it was for you after all.
“Should I call you instead, Wooyoung?”, Mister Kim said in a serious tone and the boy was quick to apologize and stuff his mouth with the same strawberry cake you had.
After that, the room slowly filled up again with small conversations here and there while Yunho whispered to Mister Kim and once in a while, met your eyes with a gentle smile on his face. The light exchanges were interesting, but you tried not to pay much attention on the words, because you felt like you were intruding on something you were not supposed to, like coming to a friend’s house while they were having family dinner.
The bags of croissants soon took up the whole space on the counter. At the end, there were 9 bags waiting to go home with you and would’ve be impossible for you to carry everything on your own with the cake bag.
“Mister Kim, don’t you happen to have a giant bag, do you?”
He wasn’t sure he had one big enough, still, he went to look for something and this time, he did asked for Wooyoung’s help.
“I can help, Mister Kim”, Yunho said.
“You can help making some company to the nice lady and maybe thank her as well for the tea”, he said as he walked to the back, leaving you just as speechless as the man in front of you.
Yunho saw how surprised you seemed as you realized it was him all along and couldn’t help but chuckle. Now he didn’t feel as bad for not noticing you that day, you didn’t stop to do so yourself.
“You seem caught off guard”, he said as he giggled to himself. Your expression went from shock to embarrassment, he could read you like an open book, which was a nice change of pace. Now that he had a good look, he understood what a deer caught in red lights actually meant, you truly looked like one.
“I’m so sorry, you were in a dark corner and I just thought you seemed a bit upset, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything like that at all and…”
You were rambling, you didn’t know how to stop yourself this time. Your face was hot, you could feel it and the fact that he was actually giggling wasn’t helping your case at all.
Maybe you wouldn’t have stopped talking if you haven’t heard a “hey” that grabbed your attention.
“Are you the green tea lady from last week?”, one of the boys asked you. The first thing you noticed was that he was kind of tall for something sitting down and had a pretty smile.
“Yeah, I am. Didn’t know I got a nickname though”, you managed to say after you took a few seconds to breathe again.
“Would you like to come sit with us?”, the same boy asked again. He had that chill guy kind of voice, that anything he said was cool, laid back and pretty simple.
Now you were truly jealous, that’s how you wanted to when you grew up. You tend to forget there’s people like that, on the other extreme of you.
“Hum, I don’t want to intrude in your gathering, I was on my way home”.
“If that’s the only reason, then let me tell you you’re not intruding. You can take my word for it since it’s my birthday party”, Yunho said and you felt he was sincere with the invite.
Whether he was Jeong Yunho or not, you decided then you liked him.
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BONUS SCENE
“Are you all sure it’s alright? No one is going to feel left out if I only take Mingi out?”, Yunho asked once again his six boyfriends.
This was a serious matter to him as he fears he prioritizes Mingi a little much sometimes, even when he tries so hard to give equal love and attention to them all. It’s a constant fighting battle for him, when it doesn’t need to be. This much was said countless times before, yet here he is feeling guilt for nothing.
Jongho felt like they were in a movie or something, because there was no plausible reason for them to be whispering to each other in the small kitchen while Mingi was showering, especially not over this.
“Yes, we are sure. Don’t we all know how he is?”, Jongho asked as he looked around the table and he saw San nodding along. It was a no-brainer for him. Mingi was just… Mingi, there was no other explanation needed.
“He’s going to love the idea, that’s all that matters”, Yeosang said in agreement.
“Isn’t he the sweetest, hum hum? Caring about our feelings and all that”, Wooyoung teased as he pinched Yunho cheeks and anything he could get away with that moment. “You loooveee us so much, don’t you?”, he hugged Yunho for the nth time this morning.
Yunho stared him down, a failed attempt to seem intimidating. He was way too soft with Wooyoung, that’s why he’s such a brat.
“That’s right, unfortunately I do”.
“What the fuck do you mean unfortu- OW! Meanie, we never said slapping as a punishment”, Wooyoung caressed the reddening spot Jongho slapped on.
Jongho only shrugged.
“We should get going, Mingi is going to be suspicious of us like this”, Hongjoong said as he lightly pushed Jongho out of the kitchen.
“Th’is unfair”, Wooyoung whined on Yunho’s chest, who could only giggle at the scene.
107 notes · View notes
luvhu9hes · 11 months ago
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Part of Me QH43
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You had been in love with your best Friends brother for as long as you could remember. So much so he was a part of you.
Word Count: 3.3K
Warnings: SMUT 18+ Minors DNI, oral (f receiving), not proofread, I think that's all of it please lmk if there's anything else.
This is only my second fic i've actually posted, if you like it please let me know. Also this is kind of rushed at the end, but I'd be stressing about this for over a week so hopefully i've done it some justice. Anyways I love all of you who take the time to read my work! Go Canucks and all that jazz.
Summer was quickly approaching in Ann Arbor Michigan, and you were all but prepared for your trip to the lake house this summer. Every summer for as long as you could remember was spent at your best friend Luke’s family lake house. Your mom and Ellen Hughes (his mother) had met their sophomore year in college from playing on the women’s hockey team together. Their friendship had continued over the years and became even stronger when they became pregnant around the same time having you and Luke only a week apart from each other (him being the older of you two).
You and Luke were destined to be best friends, practically inseparable. Always going to the same schools, hanging out daily, becoming part of each other's families. Growing up with Luke meant growing up with his older brothers; Jack and Quinn as well. Jack was like an older brother to you, always being so protective over you. Even back when you were in elementary school, Luke’s other friends would tease you about being a girl and having cooties. After Jack had threatened them, they never bothered you again. Quinn was a different story, you had always had a little crush on him, (you’d never admit that to Luke, but it was true). Even though you had been so into him, he had never seemed to reciprocate your feelings, making you feel like his younger brother’s annoying best friend. For years you tried to get over your crush on Quinn Hughes, but to no avail, your heart still belonged to him even at the end of your sophomore year of college. You knew deep down, he would always be a part of you.
Always going to the same schools with Luke led you to where you are now, at the University of Michigan, sitting in your dorm room, clothes scattered everywhere. It was the end of the term, and you were meant to be leaving for the lake house in a mere 5 days, but excitement filled your mind. You were excited to be reunited with Luke, considering you hadn’t seen him in over a month due to him leaving for Jersey to fulfill his lifelong dream of playing in the NHL with his two older brothers. Though you were extremely proud of him for all of his hard work and accomplishments, you still missed him more than anything, having never spent this much time apart from him.Even though you were excited, the mere thought of spending another summer around Quinn had your stomach in knots. The two of you kept contact throughout the years, even with his busy hockey schedule and your school schedule you still made time to stay in touch. You weren't sure if it was your imagination, but something felt different about this summer, even if you weren’t quite sure what it was yet.
The drive to the lake house was peaceful as you listened to music and traffic was low. As you got closer to the lake house the more free you felt. All of the stress of the school year slowly leaving your body and the relaxation of summer being let in. Luke had texted you the day before that he and Jack were on their way, considering it took far longer to get to the lake house from Jersey. You had expected to be the first one there as you usually were, but to your surprise, there was already a car in the driveway when you had pulled up. It was not a car you had seen before, both Quinn and Jack had gotten new cars since the last time you had seen them, but considering you hadn't heard anything from Luke since yesterday you had a very strong feeling that it was Quinn's.
You entered the house voicing a quick “Hello?” announcing your arrival to whoever was in the house. At the sound of your voice a very tousled looking Quinn came rushing down the stairs to greet you. The sight of his messy brown hair and bright but tired eyes brought a smile to your face. Your smile was contagious as it brought one upon his face just before he engulfed you in a bone crushing hug. The hug was comforting, like coming home after a long time away, but that didn't stop the feeling of butterflies from erupting throughout your stomach. “Hi Quinn” your voice came out barely above a whisper, being slightly muffled against his chest. “Hey y/n/n, long time no see huh” he jokes. You can't help but chuckle at him as you begin to pull away. Though, Quinn clearly wasn't ready to pull away, as he pulled you back in and gripped you tighter than before. The slight action had you flushing and you were grateful he couldn't see your face at that moment.
Finally as the two of you pulled away, Quinn spoke up asking “Have you heard anything from tweedle dee and tweedle dumb? They haven't said a word to me since they left Jersey yesterday.”  The old nickname had you grinning as you responded “No, I haven't heard from them since about the same time.” 
“Well then,” Quinn smiled, “it looks like it's just you and me for a while.” You were sure he didn't mean to sound so suggestive when saying that, but that didn't stop the warm feeling you got from his words. Your time together was slightly awkward at first given the fact that you hadn't truly seen each other in a year, but as the minutes passed the awkwardness subsided and you both began to grow comfortable in each other's presence. Conversation came easily with Quinn, talking about anything ranging from your favorite music to how life at U of M had been. It shocked you how comfortable talking to him was, because even though you had grown up around him, Jack and Luke had always been there as a buffer, even when you had wished they hadn't. After about an hour of talking with Quinn you heard the familiar sound of another car pulling into the gravel driveway announcing the arrival of Jack and Luke.
Quinn and you immediately hopped up heading towards the door to meet the two boys. You were surprised when Luke dropped his suitcase bounding towards you before spinning you around in his arms. The suddenness of it all caused you to burst out with a pure laughter having missed your best friend so much. You and Luke had missed the look Quinn had given the two of you, but Jack sure didn't, smirking at the look of jealousy on his big brother's face. 
“Let he breathe Lukey” Jack spoke teasing his brother “not all of us have had the chance to say hello to her yet” Jack had finished his thought as he pulled you out of the other boy's grasp enveloping you in a hug of his own. Luke pouts as his best friend is stolen from a grasp, crossing his arm as he speaks up. “Last time I checked she was MY best friend, not yours” His whiny tone elicited a laugh from all of you as you pulled away from Jack.
“Oh Lukey, you don't know how much I've missed you.” Noticing Jack's smile falter at your words you spoke up again “before you say anything, I missed you just as much Jack” your words caused a giant smile to break out on the two boys faces.
After you all spent some time together catching up, you had excused yourself up to your room to begin unpacking for the summer. Your room was just as you left it, your bed made nicely and littered with stuffed animals from fairs and arcades that you had collected over the years. The walls were covered in pictures that seemed to show the story of you growing up, with photos of you at your first birthday party leading up to a photo of you and the Hughes boys last summer. That newest photo was your favorite, it was taken your last day of the trip when Ellen and Jim had stopped by, you were on Luke's back smiling as widely as your face would allow, while Jack was trying to act all cool for the camera. Your heart always seemed to stop whenever you looked at Quinn in that picture, he was wearing just a pair of swim trunks, showing off his toned body, but that wasn't what caught your eye, it was the way he had looked at you and Luke, he had so much admiration in his eyes, and if you didn't know any better, you would've believed that look was pointed at you and you only.
You're broken from your train of thought by the sound of a knock on your door. You muster a quick “Come in” expecting to see Luke, and are pleasantly surprised to see Quinn. “Hey Quinn, what’s up?”
“Nothing I just wanted to spend some time with you, I don't see or hear from you as much as the others do” Quinn admits rubbing the back of his neck.
“To be fair Quinn I you've never made me feel like you wanted to talk to me so I’ve given you your space.”
“I always want to hear from you y/n/n.”
Quinns confession has your heart beating faster in your chest, so much so that you're almost certain he can hear it from across the room.
“Yo- you do?” you struggle to form the words as you try to process what Quinn just said to you.
“Of course I do, I care about you, I want to know what's going on in your life, hell I want to be a part of your life, and not just in the summers.” his eyes are watching you so closely, as if he's trying to read your mind, trying to know your every thought. Your mind is running a million miles a minute as you try to think of a response, as you try to pinpoint the context for which he's saying these things.
“What do you mean Quinn, you are part of my life, you always have been” you finally utter out.
“I mean..” he says as he steps closer to you grabbing your hands “I want to be in your life as more than just your best friend's brother. I want to be the first person you talk to when you wake up in the morning and the last person you talk to before you go to sleep. I want you in the stands of my games cheering me on. I want to spend more time with you than I get, whether that means me coming down to Michigan, or you coming up to Vancouver. I want to be with you y/n. I’m so in love with you, and I have been for years. I can't keep that to myself any longer.”
Never in a million years would you have expected that from Quinn. You stared at him in such awe trying to figure out if this was real or some cruel prank the boys thought would be funny. And as if he knew exactly what you were thinking, Quinn speaks up again
“I know you weren't expecting this from me, I wasn't expecting it either, but after we spent all of that time talking before Jack and Luke got here, and after I saw how touchy Luke was with you, I just knew I couldn't hide this anymore.
After you still hadn't responded, Quinn began to panic a little.
“y/n… please say something.” That was all it took for you to snap out of the trance you were in and respond.
“Quinn, I’m so in love with you. I have been since I was eight years old and you held my hand after I had scraped my knee open. I've tried for years to push my feelings down for the sake of Luke, but also because I never thought you would be interested in me. I've never seen you as just ‘my best friend's brother’ , you're so much more than that to me, and I want all of those things too.”
The second those words left your mouth, Quinn wasted no time grabbing your face and bringing your lips to meet his. At first you were shocked, but you were quick to kiss him back as this has been something you had wanted for years. The kiss was full of passion and promise. Years of pining being made up for by one breathtaking kiss. You only pull away when you're both out of breath, leaning your foreheads together. It's in that moment you remember one detail. Luke.
“Quinn?” you ask, breaking the silence, only receiving a hum in response. “What are we going to do about Luke? How are we going to tell him? Are we even ready to tell him?” you start to ramble, leading Quinn to cut you off with another kiss. This one is much shorter than the last, as he begins to speak “Let's not worry about Luke right now hm? We can focus on us for now and tell him, and everybody else when we're ready. Okay?” The look in his eyes is so comforting, it genuinely has you questioning if you'll ever be able to say no to him. You know deep down you won't, which is why you say “Okay.”
So that's what you did. You and Quinn spent the whole summer focusing on your relationship by keeping it to yourself. That consisted of sneaky make out sessions in dark corners of the house, sneaking into each other's rooms in the middle of the night, holding hands under the blankets during movie nights, and sneaking glances that lasted longer than they should have. It sucked keeping such a big secret from your best friend, but you weren't ready to tell him yet, and you were enjoying your time with the man you loved.
Summer had come to an end much faster than you had ever expected, and that meant you would all be going back to your regular lives soon. You were worried about what that meant for your relationship with Quinn, being new to the whole long distance thing, but you were hopeful nonetheless. Today was the last day you would all be together, and you wanted it to be memorable. Luke had decided that going out to the local club would be the best way to spend your last night together, and of course Jack agreed 100%. 
That's how you ended up here in a crowded sea of people cradling a vodka cranberry trying to make your way back to the booth the boys had saved for all of you. You hadn't even made it more than three feet away from the bar when a hand was grabbing your wrist. Turning you come face to face with a strange man who's very clearly drunk. You try taking your wrist back, but his grip only tightens and he speaks up in a dark gravelly tone “What's the rush doll, I jus’ wanna dance” his words slurring as he speaks
“I don't think my boyfriend would like me dancing with you, i’m trying to get back to him if you don't mind” you tried to stay calm as you tried pulling your wrist free again, his grip bruising now.
“You don't have to lie about having a boyfriend doll, if you don't want t’ dance jus’ say that”
before you get the chance to respond you feel an arm wrap around your waist and hear the voice of your boyfriend say “She doesn't want to dance pal, leave my girl alone before we have problems” 
My girl, even though you knew you were his girl the words still sent butterflies to your stomach and a heat down to your core. At the sight of your boyfriend, the creep lets go of your wrist putting his hands up in surrender leaving you and Quinn alone. 
“Do you want to get out of here?” Quinn practically screams, trying to speak to you over the music. It doesn't take you more than a minute to respond with a yes. The two of you find Jack and Luke and tell them what happened and that Quinn had offered to take you home, and let them enjoy the rest of their night. Luke was worried and didn't want to leave you alone, but you managed to convince him to stay and have fun.
The ride back to the lake house was torture. Quinn's hand rested on your thigh while his other gripped the steering wheel, and he was drawing shapes into your skin, his hand occasionally going higher messing with the hem of your dress. He knew exactly what he was doing, though it was the slightest of touch, it still had you squeezing your thighs together. You glanced over to look at him seeing the mischievous smirk on his face. Shaking your head you tried not to focus on his touch and focus on the scenery on the drive back (it didn't work.)
The second you had made your way into the lake house Quinn was on you. His lips attached themselves to your neck leaving open mouth kisses and nibbling just below your ear eliciting a gasp from your mouth. You turn around in Quinn's hold bringing him in for a needy, almost desperate kiss. His tongue running against your bottom lip requesting access, which you'd be crazy to refuse him. He slips his tongue into your mouth massaging your tongue with his, as his hands start to explore your body. You break away trying to catch your breath as you grab his hand dragging you up to your room. You attach your lips to his again once you're in the safety of your room, hands reaching up to unbutton the slutty black shirt he was wearing. No matter how long you had been with Quinn, you still got nervous in intimate situations like this with him causing you to have shaky hands. You could feel him smirk into the kiss at the shakiness of your hands, as his own reached up to slide the straps of your dress down your shoulders. He was pleasantly surprised to find out you weren't wearing a bra, groaning into the kiss as his hands groped your breasts nimble fingers flicking over your nipples. The sensation had you pulling away from his lips letting out a low moan, spurring him in further as he lowered his mouth taking your left nipple into his mouth. Your hands made their way into his hair holding him to your chest, Quinn backing you up until your knees hit the bed causing you to sit on the edge of the bed. Lowering himself in front of you, Quinn looks into your eyes looking for permission as he hooks his fingers into your panties, you mutter out a quick yes and he wastes no time pulling them off and licking a long stripe up your pussy. The sensation has you arching your back lacing your fingers through his messy brown hair. The only noises that can be heard through the room are the pornographic moans and groans coming from you and Quinn as well as the slick sound of Quinn eating you out. It doesn't take much more before you're coming undone on Quinn's tongue as he helps you ride out your high. You and Quinn spent your last night together, sanctifying your love for each other and cherishing each other's bodies as much as you can before you get separated. 
Nothing could ruin the bubble of bliss you and Quinn had made for yourselves. Or so you thought until you were woken up in the morning by the sound of “WHAT THE FUCK” causing your head to shoot up to see your best friend, whose eyes are locked on the sight of you and his older brother laying naked in your bed.
This was not how you wanted him to find out.
Fin
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celestialwonders · 4 days ago
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tradition. (s.jy + p.sh)
synopsis: you, jake, and sunghoon are besties and go to 7/11. thats it. hooray!!
genre: jake x reader x sunghoon = best friends! fluffy fun friendship! (lil jungwon mention hehe)
wc: 1.4k
a/n: this drabble was entirely inspired by jakehoon’s recent posts, hence the photos. dont mind any errors i wrote this at work this morning and am posting it on my lunch break LOL
~as always, ask box is always open!~
“Yo, do you guys wanna go to 7/11?” Jake perks his head up from the floor of the living room, pausing the action movie he picked out about a half hour ago. It’d been a long week of school work and dance practice, your joints aching with every subtle move as you straighten your posture at his proposition. You kick your feet out from under the plush blanket you had stolen from Sunghoon’s room when you got into their apartment, having fallen into your usual rhythm of getting comfortable for a night in.
“I don’t really feel like getting drunk tonight, Jake. We had such a long practice today, my body can’t really take much more.” Sunghoon groans, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated fashion as you giggle to yourself. Jake playfully slaps his calve at his actions, making Sunghoon wince from the sore spot. “Dude, I don’t want to get drunk, but I do want some snacks. I totally got the midnight munchies.” Jake fully sits himself up from the floor now, turning his upper body towards you and Sunghoon on the couch. His post-shower hair is fluffy and falling over his forehead as he grins towards his two best friends like a little kid awaiting an answer from his parents.
Sunghoon slowly turns to you, giving you a ‘should we?’ kind of look. You throw the warm blanket off yourself with a huff as Jake takes that as a yes. “Let’s go!” He almost chants as he jumps up from the floor, his jacket slouching off his shoulder from the sudden movement before he straightens it out and puts on a cap. You and Sunghoon aren’t as quick to rise from the couch, your muscles aching from the repetitive and intense practice you had today. Your dance team had a big competition coming up, and your dance captain, Jungwon, spared no breaks until he was sure he had drilled you all to the bone. “Come on.” Jake drags out the last syllable as he tugs at Sunghoon’s arm, eager to get out the door. “The corner store isn’t going anywhere dude, don’t rush me.” Sunghoon grumbled as he reluctantly let Jake pull him from his usual spot on the couch.
The three of you have made a perfect trio for the past three years of college. Jake, being the ever-so-social type, was the first to introduce himself to you on audition day during your freshman year, and he was sure to introduce you to his shy friend, Sunghoon, as well. Both you and Sunghoon shared awkward hellos as Jake beamed about how exciting it was to audition for the school’s dance team, quickly warming himself up to you. You weren’t usually the type to get comfortable with strangers, but Jake and Sunghoon had quickly become your go-to guys throughout the audition process and even after the results came out. “I say we should celebrate!” Jake had hooked his arms around both you and Sunghoon’s necks after you all checked the result sheet. And that's how your tiny tradition started, movie night that was always interrupted by a 7/11 run. At first, you all usually picked up soju and mixers, creating your own delicious (or, in Jake’s case, “adventurous”) cocktails to waste the night away together in fits of laughter. As the years have gone on, the items of interest have changed, but your friendship with the two boys stayed consistent.
You’d gotten used to the teasing from other classmates or dance team members, always quick to silence their questions about whether you’re dating one or the other, or both. But it had never been like that for you all, despite being attached at the hip and knowing each other more than you know yourself. They were just your boys. Nothing more, but certainly nothing less. Them being your best friends meant they saw every side of you and saw you through every season of your life, and you for them. There had been a period of time when you had stopped attending your unofficial ‘meetings’, struggling between a controlling situationship and still keeping your best friends close. In the end, you fell right back into rhythm with Jake and Sunghoon, giving them all the dirt they’d missed as you browsed the aisles for the strongest alcohol you could find. Now, a year later, you return once again to the place you all call your second home.
The door chimes as you all greet the store clerk, the aged old man giving you all a familiar smile. You all instantly break off from each other, going to your designated aisles for your treat of the night. Jake makes his way to the ramen aisle as Sunghoon heads to the back of the store for the drink selection. You find yourself ambling through the chips and candy section, grabbing your favorite sour candy before grabbing each of Jake and Sunghoon’s favorite chips. “Yoooo.” You hear Jake call as you make your way towards his voice in the center of the store. You meet Jake where he’s at as he balances three ramen bowls in his arms, Sunghoon already by his side holding two sodas and a juice. You turn your attention to where the boys’ gaze had already fallen and almost drop your snacks from excitement. “No way! They have it back in stock!” You grinned as Sunghoon slid open the freezer, revealing an array of ice creams. Ice creams that include your absolute favorite: a strawberry bar covered in crunchy rice pebbles.
Jake is quick to grab one for you, having placed the ramen bowls on an empty spot on the shelving behind you. He reaches over in front of Sunghoon to grab himself an ice cream bar, cutely squishing his face between the two packagings. “Stop that, you’re gonna make them melt.” Sunghoon lightheartedly swats Jake's shoulder, making the shorter laugh as he lowers the ice cream. “Oh, so are you saying I'm hot?” He jeers as Sunghoon rolls his eyes, as he usually does with Jake. You can’t help but laugh at Jake’s joke. Despite how stupid you knew it was, it makes Jake beam with pride, knowing he can always count on you to laugh with him.
Sunghoon joins you on your side, peering over the freezer at his possible choices, mulling them over. Now it’s Jake’s turn to roll his eyes as he lets out an exasperated sigh as Sunghoon still ponders his choices. “Now you’re the one that’s gonna make our ice cream melt, hurry it up!” You playfully jest before Jake can, making him hold his stomach in a fit of giggles. “Alright alright.” Sunghoon shushes the two of you, grabbing a small cup of Häagen-Dazs ice cream. “This’ll do.” He proudly shows off his choice as Jake runs off to grab a basket for all your selections.
“You know, at the rate we’re going,” Sunghoon starts as the two of you start to gather your things back up. “We’re gonna have to keep this tradition going for the rest of college.” He laughs to himself. Jake is back at your side, basket in hand. “Shoot, at this rate, we’re gonna have to keep this going till we have our own families!” You pitch in, making the two boys laugh. “Nah, at this rate, we’re gonna have to just include our families and keep this going for the rest of our lives!” Jake triumphantly shouts as the three of you make your way to the self-checkout counter.
As the boys begin scanning and bagging the items, bickering among themselves over the ‘right way’ to bag the items, you can’t help but stand back and smile to yourself. Just the idea of continuing this tradition, one day inviting your future spouse and children, makes your heart swell with unexplainable happiness. You aren’t really sure where the three of you were headed in life, still so many things to figure out and discover about yourselves. But one thing was certain: you’ll always find your way back to your boys, and in return, you’ll always find yourselves back at 7/11.
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bellarkeselection · 4 months ago
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Hello ! I love your work sm and was wondering if you could maybe possible do a Charles Xavier x reader where the reader is British like him but had lived in France most her life so when she gets angry like in class when teaching the students or just in general with other people and or things she start yelling and insulting in French (reader has ANGER ISSUES) ? If that is to much to ask I understand completely, thank you and I hope you have a great week my lovely xx
The British and French Professor
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Hi there, anonymous asker - I’m sorry it took me a while before I got this posted but I hope you enjoy what I have wrote
Some people simply find enjoyment in staying in the state or country they were born in.
Others have this desire to travel the world and see more than what we have been around most of their lives.
And I used to be one of those people that stayed at home until I met Charles Xavier and his beautiful dream that he had for mutants and the rest of the world at Oxford University when I had gotten my dream job to teach as a professor here.
The first time I had left my childhood home in France I had to adjust to many different things, especially switching from my French accent to a British one that my mother had. She taught me all she could but I haven’t been able to not curse in French when I let my anger get the better of me.
Walking into my college classroom I sat my bag down seeing most of my students were already in their seats and ready for our exam that day. Taking out my exam papers I heard one of my students coming up to my desk with a nervous look on her face. “Excuse me, Professor L/n. I was hoping I could be excused from today’s exam cause I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” The girl's name was Penny and she had her blonde hair up in a ponytail.
Holding the exam papers up against my chest so she couldn’t see the questions I sent her a half smile. “You’ve known this exam has been coming up for two weeks now.”
“Professor L/n, I can’t take the exam today because I broke up with my girlfriend and that was really draining for me.” One of the boys that sits next to her came up coming up with a half assed excuse.
Rolling my eyes I glared at him. “That’s not a valid reason to not take this exam, Bryan.”
“But Professor L/n-“
The classroom door got thrown open and I saw one of the cheerleaders running inside the classroom completely dressed in her pajamas. “I totally thought she was joking about us having an exam the day before fall break.”
“Alright that’s enough.” Laying the exams faced down beside my laptop that was sitting on the desk.
Easton, who was a senior who had failed this class two more times rose from his seat, beginning to put on his backpack and leave the room. “I’m out of here. I don’t need to learn about English if I’m going to play in the NFL one day.”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” Another boy began to pack his things, making the blood inside of me start to boil.
Slamming my palms down on the wooden desk I raised my voice at the students who were trying to leave the classroom. “Nobody leaves this room unless I say that class is over!”
“But half of them aren’t prepared for class, Professor L/n. Why should we make it where they pass because we came prepared for the exam?” Amy, who was one of my best students, raised her hand getting frustrated with the fact that their good test scores would help out the ones who could care less about trying to take or pass the exam for today.
Running a hand down my face I huffed doing my best to not let my anger take over. Even if this wasn’t the first time we have had this conversation in my class this year. “Amy, you shouldn’t worry about the curve. I will not improve the others' grades considering we have already discussed this.”
“So since we’re having this conversation I’m assuming we aren’t having the exam today. I’ll see you on Monday.” Penny slowly started walking backwards towards the door.
“Vous tous gèlez cet instant ! Je refuse d'avoir cette discussion cette année. Vous devez suivre ce cours, je suis votre professeur, ce qui signifie que vous ferez ce que je dis, ce qui signifie que nous aurons l'examen aujourd'hui et que toute personne qui échouera à l'examen devra écrire un essai pendant la pause qui explique comment vous serez préparé pour notre prochain examen. Est-ce clair pour tout le monde ?” - - - - - ( All of you freeze this instant! I refuse to have this discussion anymore this year. You are required to take this course, I am your professor meaning you will do what I say, so that means we will be having the exam today and anyone who fails the exam will be required to write an essay over break that explains how you will be prepared for our next exam. Is that clear to everyone? )
All my students' eyes were locked onto me after I had stopped shouting in French and a familiar British accent could be heard throughout the classroom. “On that note I’d say Professor L/n isn’t feeling well and needs to step out. My colleague Hank will be protruding your exam and will make sure everyone finishes before they leave.” Charles slowly enters the room with his friend Hank coming in behind him moments later.
Slumping my shoulders, the anger that I was feeling almost went away instantly when I saw his face and those piercing blue eyes. “Charles.”
“Let’s both be done for the day. I think you and your students have been stressed out enough for some time.” The telepathic professor extended his hand out to me waiting for me to give him my hand. Slowly intertwining my hand with his own he led me out of the classroom and grabbed my bag.
Once we were outside I felt my entire body relax with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face simply taking a walk with the man that I loved. Charles found a park bench and we sat down where I laid my head against his shoulder sighing heavily. “I didn’t mean to snap at them. My anger - my anger issues just got the better of me.”
“I know you didn’t mean for that to happen, Y/n. You are one of the greatest people I have ever met. So don’t beat yourself up over what happened in your class a few minutes ago.” Charles tucked some hair behind my ear.
Lifting my head up I gently kissed him, threading my fingers through his long brown hair. “Thank you, Charles. I appreciate you being here for me.”
“I’ll always have my girls back. You are my love, Y/n.” He smiled gently cupping my face in his hands deeply kissing me back where we just enjoyed the peaceful moment together.
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