#so seeing these words from ryan tonight about letting go of fears and insecurities and just living in joy

[nerdygirl84]

[yoonpobs]

cold | pjm

pairing: park jimin x oc

genre: fluff, slight tsundere jimin, just cuteness tbh

words: 3, 339

summary: where jimin is ice cold but he wants you to warm him up (not in the way you think)

When Jimin pulls away for the first time in a year since you’ve met him during your movie nights, you suspect that something’s up. But, you also know Jimin—he would have said something to you if there was.

You raise an eyebrow at him, “You good?”

Jimin sighs at you, frustrated and you can’t help but feel confused at the sudden shift of atmosphere. You thought picking La La Land was a good choice, but you suppose that since Jimin was a little emotionally constipated he didn’t like it as much.

“I’m not, actually.” He declares, tugging off the blanket that covered both of your lower halves and withdrew from the warmth that settled into the couch.

“Do you—” You contemplate on asking because being Jimin’s friend meant respecting certain boundaries, and you weren't intending to be that friend that stuck their nose in his business.

You choose to remain silent and purse your lips and settle back into the couch, though it felt a little empty without Jimin bunched up next to you. But he was an enigma of unopened thoughts, and the time you spent navigating the course of your friendship in the first few months was ... heavy.

He’d never tell you anything, let alone allow you to indulge in the greatness that was his mind. You’d always hear from Namjoon how much he looks up to and respects Jimin’s way of thinking and mindset, but you rarely get to see that part of him. Sometimes, you felt more of a seat-warmer than a friend. You appreciate him, nonetheless.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about it?” He pries you.

You shrug, covering yourself with the blanket in hopes that it masks your vulnerability and insecurity, too.

“I know you.” You tell him, “You don’t like being questioned unless you say something about it first.”

He purses his lips in a straight line and looks at you ... like he really looks at you. So much that you feel his eyes burning into the side of your head; as if he was attempting to unravel your mind and dig into its deepest depths to understand its content.

“I don’t …” He says after looking at you, head-turning to face the television. Was La La Land seriously still relevant now?

“But I’m asking you to ask me.” He says, and the look of surprise on your face doesn’t disappoint. You gaped at him, forgetting the fact that Ryan Gosling looked really handsome on the screen—because Jimin had just prompted you to ask him about his … feelings.

“I—I don’t understand …” You say, dumbly. He rolls his eyes at you, and you’re familiar with his expression because it’s the one he usually has when he wants to call you an idiot.

“Ask me how I feel.”

You open your mouth, then close it. Your words fail you because the entire situation was sprung onto you so unexpectedly, and you suddenly feel self-conscious about everything. Was this Jimin’s way of assessing you as a friend and throwing you to the curb after a year of being platonically involved with one another?

As if he could hear the millions of thoughts running in your head, he turns to you and grabs your cheeks in between his large palms, and this time you actually short-circuit.

Your intimacy with Jimin stopped at sitting next to each other during movie nights and embracing the warmth that your bodies radiated. Maybe even the occasional accidental brush of fingers when he hands you something, but besides that—Jimin was conservative with his touches.

You can’t lie and say that your heart doesn’t react differently, because for the most part of your friendship you’ve suppressed any romantic feelings that you had or could have had for Jimin. Mostly out of self-preservation because Jimin was just … Jimin.

Cold, aloof but still someone that cared deeply. Yes, he was emotionally constipated when it came to his own feelings, and yes —his gaze more often than not had you cowering in fear. But he never made you feel uncomfortable. Even in the silences, you spent with one another you felt safe. Home.

Not to mention, his entire brooding and stoic persona hit it really well with the women on campus—and the fact he was obscenely attractive. He and you were the types of people that remained just as friends. And suddenly, that could end tonight, too.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He hums, eyes chasing your own but you divert your attention away from him because your eyes tell.

You shake your head, “I’m just confused.”

And confused you were because this was a territory that was unheard of for you—much less for Jimin. If only you could telepathically speak to Namjoon right now because you had no idea what to do or say.

“Well, I’ll keep it simple for you,” He says, “ Ask me how I feel.”

He doesn’t ask you anymore, instead, he insists—as if there was a preconceived answer for you already in the back of his head. Maybe this was how he softened the blow.

“No.” You push him away, flustered. “I won’t let you friend break up with me like this!”

He raises an eyebrow at the sudden rise of voice you admitted, “I like being your friend even if you don’t—and—and I know that yeah, consent matters—but I do not consent to be friend broken up with.”

He listens to you, and his face is still in its signature blankness and you nearly scream at how you wished he’d display a little emotion or a reaction to your blow up. But it seems that between the two of you, you were the emotionally unstable one.

“I know I can be annoying and all over the place and loud but ...” You immediately opt to self-deprecate yourself because nothing could triumph the way it felt to do it yourself than have him say it to your face, “... you’re not allowed to leave me. Ever .”

You fold your arms across your chest and look away because what the fuck did you just do and your face was undebatably on fire right now.

As if he’s noticed the way your eyes widen in realisation, he holds you again—but this time he pulls you closer to his chest until you are forced to look up at him with your flushed cheeks.

“Silly girl.” He hums and you whine.

“What!”

“I have to do everything myself, hm?” He tucks a strand of stray hair behind your ears and it was instinctual for you to pull away because you’ve never felt Jimin like this before. Close, and warm—and all yours.

“Jimin I don’t understand— mpf!” And it was like a scene straight out of a romcom, and you nearly forget that La La Land was still running in the background. You felt like the main character of your own movie, and Jimin was the protagonist's love interest because he kissed you.

Jimin was kissing you.

Kissing. Like lip-locking. Sharing saliva. With you.

He pulls away too soon for your liking, but you gape at him like a fish out of water.

“You—” You stutter, and he chuckles. You feel it more than you hear it because his chest was resting against your cheek.

“Do you understand now?”

You shake your head, “... you feel bad for me?”

He snorts.

“I don’t know if you’re actually this much of an idiot, or are you just hopeless in the romantic department?” He says, and you open your mouth in the offense, ready to defend yourself but he hugs you closer to him and all you could feel was him.

“Excuse me? I’m not an idiot.”

“I just kissed you and you thought I felt bad for you.”

You huff, “What am I supposed to feel! You never speak about your emotions to me, and the most I’ve ever got out from you was a chuckle from the time where I slipped in front of the entire campus during freshers week.”

“That was when we met, yes.” He hums, “Why did you think I’ve been with you ever since?”

You still looked confused and Jimin internally sighs at the way he let himself fall for a dense excuse of a human being like you.

“Cause … you felt 'bad for me?”

"Just because you air-quote it doesn't make it any different from what you said earlier ____."

He groans, “No you dumbass—it’s cause no one makes me feel things the way you do. Strange weirdo who slipped on absolutely nothing, and as a friend who forces me to watch shitty romcoms like La La Land.”

“La La Land is not shitty!” You gasp.

He blinks.

“Is that all you got from what I said?”

“La La Land is phenomenal! All from the artistic production, to the soundtrack—so I don't know why people keep shitting on it because personally I really enjoyed—” But he kisses you again, and you melt into him immediately.

This time he lingers for a bit longer, and when he pulls away you grab onto his shirt to keep him close. You realise your mistake and suddenly push him away, but his hold on you was tight enough to resist your poor attempt.

“I like you, dummy.” He says, and you gasp.

“Nooo.” You say in disbelief.

“I like you.” He emphasises again, and you gasp. Again.

“No, you don’t.” You tell him, and he sighs—knowing that this was going to take a while.

“I do.”

“You don’t.”

“I do .”

“Nope.”

“ Yes .”

“Nuh-uh—!”

He clamps his hand over your mouth and glares at you.

“Me. Park Jimin—likes you, ____ ____, and yes —I can’t believe I like a complete idiot like you, but I do because you fucked up and made me like you from the moment you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone so bad that it was probably the hardest I’ve ever cringed in my life—”

“Hey!”

“—but you quite literally stumbled into my life with your whirlwind of emotions and you made me feel things that I’ve tried to avoid my entire life.” He holds your chin between his thumb and finger so you’d look at him. And you know that Jimin never lies, but something in your heart doesn't allow you that moment of happiness for yourself.

“But I'm annoying …” You say, a little unsure. Jimin simply looks at you, and you're frustrated again at the lack of emotion on his face.

“Yes, you are.” Is all he says, and you gape at his audacity.

You huff, throw the blanket off your body and make way to grab at your belongings that lay idle on the floor next to the couch. You pulled away from Jimin who attempted to grab at your wrist and glare at him so vehemently that he looked taken aback.

“This isn't a joke.” You tell him, and you hoped you looked as strong as you sounded because you felt played. Jimin didn't do this—you were just the clumsy freshmen that somehow befriended him, and he had no way out of it. So you decided to give him a way out on your own.

“Wait—of course, it's not—where are you going?” He exasperates when you make a beeline go to his door. You've never seen Jimin move as quickly as he did, but he manages to secure a tight grip on your elbow.

You try to shove him aside all while you felt like an immense idiot for allowing yourself to feel this way. To feel so human, and raw when you were with Jimin when he hadn't shown an inkling of emotion even when he declared that he ‘liked’ you.

“____—what’s wrong? Is it because I kissed you without asking you? I'm sorry but— ” He apologises and you groan.

“Stop treating me like this!” You yell at him to cut him off, “I know I'm clumsy, and a ditz—but I have feelings and it's not cool how you're doing all of—” You gesture to the hand on your elbow and to your lips, “— this, making me feel things that I shouldn't be feeling.”

“You're missing the point—!”

“Am I Jimin?” You exasperate, and he lets go of you for a moment to allow you space. “You've never shown any sign that you liked me for the past year of being friends, and now you're telling me you do?”

You scoff, “If you wanted out of this friendship, here it is.”

You reach to his doorknob with your back turned towards him, but Jimin was far stronger than you and reached out at the same time; essentially locking you into your position with nowhere to go.

“Just let me go,” You sigh, “I'm giving you your out.”

Jimin turns your body to face him and you avoid his stare. He was taller than you so being locked against the door was a little intimidating, given the fact that Jimin’s stare was nothing short of intimidating.

“Why would I want out?” He asks you, and you blink at him as if he's grown a second head.

“Now you're just treating me like I'm stupid .” You pout, “Did you not hear what I said? I know I'm annoying and I'll get out of your hair, just let me go—!”

You pull at his wrist but he holds you tighter and uses his other hand to softly grab at your cheeks to look at him. You stare at him with wide eyes and mouth scrunched like a fish, and you're sure this doesn't look the least bit flattering at all.

“Dude!”

“Please don't dude me after I just said I liked you.” He grimaces, then sighs.

He proceeds to clamp his hand over your mouth, “Now I need you to listen to me. And I mean— really listen. Not the thing that you do where you completely ignore my point and go on some childish rampage of how I think you’re annoying and want out.”

You glare at him.

He sighs, “I don't know how explicit I have to be—but I like you. I like your presence, I like hanging out with you—and I want to date you. I want everything that's in the book of romance and relationships with you.”

Your eyes widened and you attempt to speak but he clamps down harder than you whine.

“I know I'm an emotionless brick but I've been with you for the past year and my physical presence is the way I show you that I like you.”

You blink.

“And, I don't know if you've noticed but I've been inviting you over every fortnight just to cuddle up next to you to watch movies that are cheesy as fuck because I know that it makes your heart flutter—” He looks straight into your eyes and you're sure he can feel the heat of your cheeks on his hand.

“—I didn’t say this earlier because I was under the impression that you were aware and that we were kind-of-dating but not really— clearly, I was wrong.”

You manage to rip his hand off in his moment of weakness and gasp, “Kind-of-dating? Since when did that even happen?!”

He pointedly looks at you, “You have a toothbrush at my place, half of your closet is in mine—you walk my dog when I'm not home, and I buy your favourite cereal when I do groceries.”

“But—”

“Nope—the only reason I explicitly told you tonight because it was now clear to me that you weren't aware—” He gestures to your frazzled state, “—and that you said you were going out with Taehyung. Alone. To a pizza parlour.”

You barely manage to respond because he exasperates, “Do you know how datey a pizza parlour is?”

You gape at him, “Well excuse me! I didn't even know we were kind-of-dating until a minute ago!”

He glares at you, “And you didn't even believe me when I told you I liked you.”

You fold your arms across your chest, “Obviously. You don't even hold my hand, and you've never kissed me until tonight.”

You punch his shoulder and he hisses, “You didn't even formally ask me out!”

“You’re a scaredy-cat and if I did ask you out you’d probably run away from me!” He exasperates with his hands in the air.

“I’m not a scaredy-cat and I won’t run away!” You argue back and you were suddenly aware of how close he was to you.

You look up at him and notice how pretty his eyelashes were, and how he does look at you with an intimacy that you've only seen for yourself. The look that he reserved for you.

“I'm asking you out now,” He whispers, cupping your cheek.

“Date me. Be with me.”

You scoff, “God. Can’t you even be a little romantic? It’s like you’re demanding me to be with you.” You respond petulantly like a child.

He groans, “I'm not going to grovel you if that's what you're expecting.”

“Tell me why then.”

He raises an eyebrow.

You clear your throat and fiddle with your thumbs, a nervous tick you have.

“Tell me why you like me.”

Jimin stares at you and you want to complain about his stoic expression but he cups your cheeks in his hands a little harder and forces you to really look at him—as if his face held all the answers.

And when you did, you see the desperation behind his eyes, the dedication that he possesses only for you. The way he looks at you like he's meant to prove something to you, and then everything made sense to you—he wasn't inexpressive—you were just too caught up in your own world that you never noticed.

“Jimin—” Your voice cracks but he shushes you, softly.

“Listen to me, okay?” He asks of you and you gently nod.

“I like you because you're here,” He starts off and you were about to scoff but he speaks again knowing your predetermined reaction, “You’re present— always. I don't mean just because we're always together, but because even when we're texting you're there. You're involved.”

“You're expressive in ways that don't need words to tell me anything, which is why I know you like me too.”

“Cocky, much?” You scoff but the burn on your cheeks give the truth away

He smiles a little before continuing, “But that's not it—I like you because you're patient. You stuck with me being emotionally constipated for the first half of our friendship, and yet you're still here.”

“Even though you nearly ran out of here spewing some bullshit about me taking you as a joke—”

“Okay … I may have blown it out of proportion.”

“—but I wouldn't want to have you any other way. Even if it took me literally trapping you against a door for you to listen.”

You melt into his touch and look up at him, “Do you really like me?”

“I really do.” He affirms you, and you tug him closer to bury your head into his chest.

“Can you hold my hand next time?” You ask, softly. And he chuckles against the top of your head, caressing it gently.

“Of course. That's the only way you won't run away from me next time, right?” He teases.

You whine.

“I'm never going to let you go.” He tells you, “You're pretty like this—all mine .”

You smile up at him and Jimin swears his heart melts to be rebuilt whole by you again.

“But you called me an idiot ...”

“Two things can be true at the same time.”

You gasp, “Rude—!”

He shuts you up with a kiss more passionate, and a lot more eager that has your head spinning.

When he pulls away, you feel your heartbeat a little faster—especially at the string of saliva that connects your mouths.

“Mine,” He says. You can't help but nod.

His.

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Helloooooo! I have recently discovered your talented self. Very sad it wasn’t sooner. Saw your post about requests and decided to check out your work. AND I AM IN LOVE 😍. I was wondering if I could request a Jason Todd x reader because Jason is bae. The reader is a famous singer and named a song after him (like Ariana grandes Pete Davidson). Hopefully you can work with that. Love you babe❤️

Masterlist

Hello!  Aw, this was so sweet of you!!  Honestly, I haven’t been on for long at all!  Maybe a year at most lol.  Even then, I don’t think any of my fanfics really started until back in January!  But still, thank you so much for the sweet message!  I could definitely work with your request and I hope you like it!

Chosen Song (I thought it worked for Jason, but you can always just replace it with a different song.  It won’t matter): Unconditionally by Katy Perry

Fun fact: Unconditionally was one of my favorite songs when it first came out and as a smol child I was super annoyed that it never went as big as Dark Horse or Roar.

Words: 1762

"Are you sure it's alright?" Your boyfriend, Jason asked as you waved him off.

"I'm perfectly fine with it, Jason.  You have a job.  You have to go get Sionis before he hurts someone again.  You've been to every other concert I've had in Gotham this year.  Work on your own job.  It'll be okay," You reassured him.  

You, Y/N L/N, were considered the Queen of Pop to the world.  You took the world by storm, performing in front of millions after starting your career in only a year.  You conveyed your emotions so well in your songs that everyone could relate to them or understand what you were feeling.  Well, they could understand everything except one thing.

You lived in Gotham City of all places.  It's considered the country's most crime-ridden city.  Every other singer you've talked to from Camila Cabello to Ariana Grande preferred the romantic cities in France and Italy to find inspiration for their songs.  Not you though.  Gotham City was home to not only the Dark Knight but your boyfriend, Jason Todd.  Who coincidentally worked for the Dark Knight.

Your jobs conflicted with each other constantly.  Sometimes you wouldn't see each other for months because of how busy you'd be.  You didn't mind, and you trusted him just like how he trusted you.  You were grateful for the few moments you could share with your boyfriend.  

Every once in awhile though, Jason couldn't come to see you in concert.  Unfortunately, one of those times was now.  You were disappointed by it, but you weren't mad.  He had his own job and it mattered more than a single concert.  Maybe Bruce and the others could come along.  

"I'll try to make it if I can, even if it's only for a few minutes," Jason replied as he wrapped his arms around your waist.  You smiled up at him.

"Let me know if you're there then.  I have a little surprise if you're able to show up.  I've been working on a little song with Perrie.  She was able to help me with the music, but the lyrics are all mine."  

"I'll text Ryan if I can make it.  If I can make it at any point it'd probably be in the first half-hour, so you can expect me around then." Ryan, your manager, always made sure to tell you if Jason made it to your show after you finished a song.  He was practically an older brother at this point.

"Sounds like a deal."

~

"You guys are so energetic tonight, I love it!" You yelled into the microphone as thousands of fans cheered you on.  From young teens to their middle-aged parents you could see people cheering you on while they had their phones in hand.  Some of the lights were almost blinding because they were close, but they didn't compare to the ones that were constantly shining in front of you for the shows.  You could feel the adrenaline rush as you always did during a show as you scanned the crowd for Jason quickly.

Ryan told you that he was here by some miracle, but he could only be there for a few minutes.  It was just enough time to perform the song.  You spotted Jason right in front, smiling up at you.  You grinned at him and winked as you looked up to the crowd that roared in delight.  

"Alright everyone, I have a little surprise for you," You paused for a moment as everyone cheered.  "I'm currently working on another album, but I have a song ready for you guys to hear first."

Their screams and yells would make you deaf if you didn't have earbuds in.  You didn't care though.  You loved the high that came from it all.  It was exhilarating.

"This one is dedicated to my lovely boyfriend who is currently here. He's helped me through everything and I can't thank him more for all that he's done," You smiled at him. The crowd cheered when you smiled at him.

As they started to quiet down the music began.  It was much softer than the other songs you've already done.  The crowd listened in quietly as Jason watched with intrigue.  

~

Oh no, did I get too close oh?Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?All your insecuritiesAll the dirty laundryNever made me blink one time

~

He didn't expect you to go so in-depth especially so quickly into a song.  Jason didn't mind it a single bit though.  You weren't hiding anything in the song.  He wasn't surprised.  You tended to write about anything that went through your head.

You started writing this song when you were up at 3 AM waiting for him to get back.  You had inspiration for no reason at all in the middle of the night when you were looking at a few old photos on your phone.  They reminded you of the days when he'd push you away early on in your relationship.  He was worried back then that you'd leave because of his past.  After his parents, Bruce, the Joker, he didn't want to keep himself vulnerable to anyone.  You kept going though.  You wouldn't let him become a hermit crab.

~

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyThere is no fear nowLet go and just be freeI will love you unconditionally

~

You could almost see Jason's eyes light up slightly as you were singing.  You could barely hear yourself from the awes that were going through the crowd.  The phone lights were blinding now, so you could only see a few people in the first row for the most part.  

~

Come just as you are to meDon't need apologiesKnow that you are all worthyI'll take your bad days with your goodWalk through this storm I wouldI'd do it all because I love you, I love you

~

Jason couldn't even think about what he had to do later that night.  He was enchanted by your song and your voice.  He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, no doubt it was Roy asking if he'd be there soon.  

~

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyThere is no fear nowLet go and just be freeI will love you unconditionally

So open up your heart and just let it beginOpen up your heart, and just let it beginOpen up your heart, and just let it beginOpen up your heart

~

The lights started to dim as the music slowed and quieted for a moment.  You were working with Ryan all afternoon to have the performance perfect if you could do it.  The one thing you've learned from your shows is that the lighting changes everything.  You trusted the technicians with it almost every time, but you asked for this specifically.  

~

Acceptance is the key to beTo be truly freeWill you do the same for me?

Unconditional, unconditionallyI will love you unconditionallyAnd there is no fear nowLet go and just be free'Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh yeah)

~

The music faded away into nothing as the people started screaming for more.  You smiled at them, but your eyes were focused on Jason's reaction.  

Jason looked up at you like you were the only thing that mattered.  You were beautiful, standing up on stage, doing what made you happy.  You were panting slightly from the performance, but that's not what mattered.  What mattered was that he knew at that point that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

Later that night Jason made his way into your shared apartment.  He placed his keys in the basket next to the door and headed towards the bedroom, planning to be quiet so you could sleep.  Instead, he found you wide awake on the bed, checking your phone.  You were under the covers and it looked like you had tried to sleep several times, but it was impossible.  

"How did it go with Sionis?"  You asked him as he went to go change.  

"It went well, actually," You could detect the sarcasm quickly.  "I referred to him a nice place to stay at for the night since his place was destroyed by some freak accident.  He's not too happy with it since it has metal bars on the windows, but he doesn't have much of a choice."  He turned to sit on the bed next to you.  You smiled. "How did the concert go?"

"Well, the crowd practically lost it shortly after you left.  They were really sweet about it all, but I think nothing else mattered after that to them," You laughed while he chuckled.

"Nothing else mattered for me either.  That song was beautiful.  I'm glad I was able to see it," He complimented you.  You blushed slightly.

"I wrote it while we were in Paris.  Do you remember that time you called and you had a heart attack because you realized it was three in the morning for me?"

"Of course.  I got an earful from Ryan the day after.  Not to mention Dick found out about it and decided to be a himself about it," He said, using Dick's name as a play on words.  

You laughed slightly at the memory, remembering when Jason ranted to you about it shortly after you were home.  "I couldn't sleep after that, so I started writing.  I wrote about anything that came to mind which meant I wrote about our memories.  I figured you'd rather not let the whole world know about it all, so I decided to stick with that song."

"Then I should tell you exactly what I thought of it." He wrapped his arms around your waist to bring you close as he laid down.

"And what did you think of it?"

"I thought it was absolutely beautiful, and I don't know what I did to deserve you.  I don't think I could thank you in words alone.  However, with your permission, I could thank you in another way," He winked.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking then?" You asked him, grinning slyly.

"I must be," He replied, almost visibly showing that he was getting excited for what would be next.

"Then a delicious breakfast would be the perfect way to start the morning tomorrow, thank you."  You kissed him on the tip of his nose before turning around to your side, facing away from him.

You could feel his shoulders slump before he chuckled.  He spooned you and kissed the top of your head lightly.  "I love you," You heard him say as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you too."

~I will love youI will love youI will love you unconditionally~

[rogerina-yee-haw]

“at least I’m one”

sd!gwilym lee x reader

chapter 5: “- the anticipated  sweetness”

[the goodbye] [the sadness & tenderness] [the broken rules and true affection] [the pain and eternal bliss]

summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.

warnings: smut, FLUFF!!, typos, grammar errors (as usual lmao)

a/n: Alice won’t show up in this chapter, sorry. it was too sweet to ruin it with her presence. next chapter is the last one!!!! sorry if this one is too bad!!!!

                                                    September.

“Five hundred pounds?” you sighed as you looked at the price. “Even my life costs less than this!”

This was a chic Versace dress you found at that one posh shop. You didn’t even know how you got there – you were just wandering across the mall; the next thing you knew – you were looking at the pretty but very expensive pieces of fabric.

You could afford this dress only if you worked with no sleep, days off and rest. Shit, you could afford a plain tee-shirt in this shop if you worked yourself to death for six months!

“Guess I’ll die as a poor bitch”, you thought to yourself. You still couldn’t stop looking at this dress; it was everything you ever looked in an evening gown; it was long with a side slit – just to expose your leg a bit; the long sleeves would cover your arms, and the lack of fabric on the back of the dress would give everyone a hell of impression. “It wouldn’t fit me perfectly; must lose weight before even thinking about buying it”.

“I can’t agree with that”.

You flinched at a sudden violation of your thinking process; you already wanted to step away and ignore the man who interrupted your thoughts when you looked at him.

And – oh Lord – he was gorgeous.

Tall, handsome as the Devil himself, in a visibly expensive suit and a smug grin on his face – this man was everything you’ve ever wanted but never had. You opened your mouth, trying to say something, but only gasped – he was too beautiful and rich for you to even try. “Mum was right when she said my shyness will be the death of me”.

“What to be shy about?” he raised his eyebrows; you frowned before you realized.

“Did I just say that out loud?” you quavered; he let out a laugh and looked at you again.

“I’m pretty sure you did; I wouldn’t be speaking to you if I didn’t hear you talking to yourself”.

You covered your face with your hands; you had never felt that ashamed of yourself. You were talking to yourself in a posh shop and this handsome man saw and heard you doing it? “I’m a disaster”, you mumbled. “Sorry you had to witness that”, you said, still covering your face.

“It’s alright. I talk to myself too occasionally”.

You finally were able to raise your head; so you looked at him suspiciously. Really? This fucking Adonis? Talking to himself sometimes? “That is hardly believable”.

“You have quite an opinion of me for the person whom I’ve just met”. Judging by the smile on his face you realized that you – again – expressed your thoughts about him being the Adonis out loud.

You looked down and gripped your hands into you handbag. “I guess being an embarrassment is my life goal”. You couldn’t bear looking at him; finally, you had the chance to hit it off with a handsome dude when you successfully blew it.

Well, you thought you blew it.

“Don’t apologize; it wasn’t embarrassing at all”.

You furrowed your brows and glanced at him. “Really? Not at all?”

He grinned and looked back at you. “Maybe a bit, but it was alright”.

You rolled your eyes at his words; this conversation wasn’t going anywhere further. At least, not with you. That blonde with a short red dress on could certainly get it with this pretty dude. Not you, in your high-waisted jeans and old hoodie with the Avengers logo on it. You didn’t even want to get started on your mum’s sneakers you had been wearing for a couple of years now.

You mum, by the way, always said that your insecurity was keeping you from all the good things in life. And even now, when this mysterious man was certainly interested in you – you didn’t see it. You preferred to drown in your doubt and insecurity. It was easier for you to shield yourself from the world.

“I’m Gwilym, by the way”.

You looked at his hand that he reached out for you; you were attentively examining his palm and fingers. “You know what they say about men with big hands”, Billy’s was echoing in your head, as you subconsciously bit you lip. Gwil suddenly felt really tight in his pants.

“I assume you also have a name”. You were out of your thinking process once again; you looked at him quickly.

“Y/N”, you responded softly as you shook his hand. You felt electricity travelling through your body; your ears were burning suddenly and your palms were sweating. What the fuck was that? “Really nice to meet you”.

He nodded, silently agreeing with you; “You know what they say about men with big hands…”

You rolled your eyes one more time, trying to make this fucker’s voice inside your head shut up. You were so invested in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice how lustfully Gwilym looked at you. He wanted to pull you to the closest dressing room and fuck the hell out of you. You were so incredibly beautiful and hot – and Gwil really had to restrain himself from taking you right then and there. Right in the middle of that shop, maybe.

“Do you mind going to dinner with me tonight?”

His voice wasn’t asking, it was demanding. You suddenly felt weak in your knees under his gaze; you could have melted as the snow under the sun just 'cause this man was looking at you like that. And that reminded you that you hadn’t been with a guy for a while.

“No, I don’t. I don’t mind at all”.

“Good”. He looked as if that was exactly what he expected to hear. “D’you mind giving me your address?”

Oh, you didn’t mind. You also didn’t mind if he would just fuck you in the nearest restroom.

But you were too shy to suggest such the idea.

“Will eight o’clock be alright?”

“Sure”.

You refused when he suggested driving you home; you lied about having to meet your friend so that you wouldn’t spend some alone time with him. “Gwilym”, you thought while waiting for the bus. “Such a pretty name”.

                                     ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

You wake up because you dream is suddenly over – but not like there was anything more of interest during your first date. Just pure primal attraction that ended up with you being fingered by Gwilym in the elevator. It was pretty crazy for you as you have never been a person who would hook up on the first date, but Gwil turned you on so much that you couldn’t handle it. Now you’re happy all of it happened. Now you’re with the man of your dreams.

The sun shines through the curtains of the hotel room window, and you wince because of its brightness. You stretch a bit, trying to wake yourself up, and rub the sleep from your eyes.

“You look like an angel”.

Your gaze falls on Gwil; he leans to the bedroom doorway, a soft smile on his lips. You grin back at him and sit up on the bed, covering your bare chest with the blanket. “You look good too”, you say, observing him. He’s already in a suit, just without a jacket; his hands are in his pockets and he looks so damn hot. “Are you leaving?”

He shakes his head. “Just came back”. Gwil slowly makes his way to the bed and crawls right next to you. “It’s midday already, baby”, he says, reaching to your forehead and kissing it. “We’ve got exactly twenty-four hours before going home”.

“Have you decided what you’re gonna do?” you put your hand on his cheek and he leans into your touch. “That’s a good opportunity, you know”, Gwil chuckles and then sighs deeply.

“A good opportunity but a hard decision to make”, he mutters and kisses you delicately. “I might lose everything if I do it”, his voice is quiet and he looks at you, a glimpse of fear and hopelessness in his eyes. You cup his cheeks and make him look you directly in the eyes.

“Is money worth staying on the job that you hate? Is it worth wasting your time on the place where the boss is a total arsehole to you?” he shakes his head. “Then quit it. Take Ryan and Jack’s offer”.

“I won’t be a vice-president in their company”, he says, “I won’t have this much money if I agree. This is not what you signed-”.

“I don’t care”, you whisper and press your forehead to his. “I’m not with you because you’re rich. Sure, I love expensive gifts”, you both chuckle, “but I can live without them as long as I’m with you. I want you to be happy, Gwil”, you say breathlessly as his hands tighten their grip in your waist, “and I know this new job will make you happy. You won’t hate your boss, at least”, you add and he smiles, leaning closer to you, so that your foreheads are pressed together.

“Bosses, to be correct’, he replies; Gwil leaves a trail of kisses on your jaw. “And I’ve been hating them since we met”, you smile. “Don’t think it’s a good idea to work on my friends who ruined my deal on purpose”.

“Baby, they did it to get you here”, you answer, “to talk to you without your boss interrupting”.

“Yeah, this old bastard left the same day that we arrived on”, he mutters, sucking a hickey into your neck, “doesn’t know shit about his own fucking company”, you let out a gasp, when Gwil’s lips get to that sweet spot, right under your earlobe. You squeeze his shoulders lightly, and the blanket falls from your chest, exposing your breasts. “Acts like he’s the smartest”, Gwil covers your neck with love bites, “when in reality he’s too stupid to even make himself a cup of tea”.

“I guess talking about your boss turns you on”, you swallow hard and Gwilym pulls off of your neck and looks at you in confusion. “You got quite hard while talking about him”, you raise your eyebrow and palm him through his pants. He moans at the sensation of your touch. “Wish I could turn you on so quickly as old Smithers does…” you sigh dramatically and Gwil rolls his eyes, smiling at you.

“You little minx”, his lips are on yours the second he lays you down, flat on the bed, so he’s hovering over you. His covered bulge rubs your thigh and you moan into the kiss, and it gives Gwilym a sign to move further. His left hand trails down your body, paying special attention to your boobs, while the right one is on your face, cupping your cheek. Finally, his fingers rub your clit slowly and you whimper, when he does that. He kisses you fiercely and you try to unbutton his shirt when he puts one finger inside you.

“No”, you pull away, “don’t want your fingers. Want you”.

“Love, we’ve run out of condoms”, he caresses your face. You don’t give him the verbal answer immediately; instead, you unbutton his shirt and help take it off of him, and pull him into a heated kiss. It’s open-mouthed, with moans spilling from both of you, it’s demanding, as your hands wander across his torso, it’s bruising, ‘cause you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth.

“I want you to fuck me raw”, you whisper looking deeply into his eyes.

His eyes are widened the second these words leave your mouth. “You’re not on the pill”, he states as if you didn’t know this. You swallow and kiss him again, less roughly now. 

“Just pull out”, you say, “or is it too hard for you?” your cocky smile makes him go absolutely insane. His eyes sparkle with something you can’t quite read, something that makes you grow even wetter. 

He makes a move closer to your face like he’s going to kiss your lips and when you close your eyes, he suddenly pepper your neck with kisses. He sucks on your collarbone profoundly, leaving marks all over it.

“Mine”, he mumbles, biting on the skin between your breasts softly, “all mine”. 

You mewl in response, tugging on his hair and shutting your eyes in anticipation.

As Gwilym kisses all over your boobs, sucking on your nipples and touching just the way you like it, he notices your closed eyes and messy state; he smirks and moves back to your lips; his kiss is tender but searing. “Want you to look at me”, he rubs your clit slowly, almost lazily, making you squirm and whine. “Want to see your pretty eyes as I fuck you”. 

You help him unbuckle his pants, and when he’s fully naked, in all his glory in front of you, you almost howl. You can’t quite believe you’re going to spend your life with him – and love, joy, lust, and desire overcome you. You sit down on the bed, so that his cock is right in front of your face, and you pump him slowly, maintaining eye contact with Gwil all this time. His dominating side seems to fade away, when you put your mouth on the tip, passing your tongue over the slit. And when you look at him innocently, a grin appears on your face. He looks so fucking hot like this: lips parted, breath hitched, eyes filled with lust, a hand on your cheek. While keeping the eye contact, as you’re following his demand, you take all of him in your mouth. Gwil gasps and his hand is on your head, tugging on your hair slightly. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good”, he gasps, “but…”, your head starts bobbing up and down his cock, and he almost loses it. “Don’t want your mouth”, he pants, trying to catch his breath, “want you”.

You pull him out of your mouth with a loud pop, and he bends down to you, kissing you lusciously. He lifts you up and turns you over without any effort. “On your hands and knees, baby”, you obey happily and wiggle your bum for him. Gwil chuckles and smacks your ass, making you drop your head in between your arms. He lines himself at your entrance and teases you by sliding the tip of his dick up and down your slick folds. “You’re so wet, love”, he mumbles, rubbing your back gently. 

“All for you”, you’re heavy breathing – you need more. And he knows it. So he gives it to you.

Gwil slides into you effortlessly and stills for a moment, giving you time to adjust. When you tell him to move, he does it deliberately and leisurely, making the burning ache between your legs even hotter.

“Gwil, baby”, you turn your head just to look into his eyes, “harder, please”.

He stops moving completely. “You sure?” he always asks. Always keeping you comfortable. 

“Yeah”, you nod. You want to add, “Just destroy my fucking vagina”, but you decide to keep it to yourself. For now, at least. 

He pulls out of you only to slam back with all his length. You scream from pleasure and your legs are already wobbly and you know – a couple of more thrusts like this and you’re a goner. You don’t know where this ability to cum so quickly comes from. Gwil feels you clenching around him, and slows down a bit, silently understanding your desire to last a bit longer. 

“So tight, baby”, he whispers, smacking your butt and then giving your ass cheek a squeeze. He touches your shoulder and makes you get up so that your back is leaning against his chest. Huge mirror right in front of you gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to look, to watch each other in the state of pleasure. 

“Look how pretty you are”, he wraps his hand around your neck lightly, “look at you being wrecked by my cock. So beautiful, baby”. And you’re wrecked – with sweaty skin, messy hair and broken moans coming out of your mouth. 

Gwilym takes his hand off of your neck and puts it on your stomach, helping you move. His other hand massages your boob, making your head fall onto his shoulder. The sounds you’re making are no longer humanlike – but words of love are entangled along with them. You both kept your feelings deep inside for too long for them not to be said to each other almost all the time. 

You are the first to come, and Gwil holds you tightly and fucks you through your orgasm. He’s not far behind you and he comes rather fast, biting on your shoulder and grunting your name. 

You come back from your high and catch a glimpse of you two in the mirror. Gwil's face is buried in your neck, kissing and sucking on it. You intertwine your fingers with his and kiss his palm softly. The hotel room smells like sex, sweat, and love. And you know you’ll enjoy it for the rest of your life.

“I love you so much”, he mumbles while kissing all over your shoulders. You hum in response; when Gwil pulls out, you whine at the feeling of emptiness. He chuckles and walks to the bathroom - he comes back a couple of minutes later, with a wet towel to clean up the mess he’s made on our ass. You smile, feeling his touch; it never ceases to amaze you how much influence he has upon you.

“There you go”, he taps your butt lightly and then wraps his arms around your waist. You lean to him, pressing your back to his chest, and let your head fall onto his shoulder. You’ve never felt more comfortable and safe in your life, ever. It’s like you’re in your personal heaven, and you don’t want to leave his warm embrace.

“That’s funny”, he mumbles.

“What?”

“You tell me to leave the job that I hate, and I obey immediately”, Gwilym kisses the corner of your mouth, making you giggle. “But when I was telling you to quit that pathetic job of yours, you wouldn’t ever listen to me”.

“Well, I quitted it, eventually”, you raise your head and turn slightly to look him in the eyes. Gwil lets out an airy chuckle, through his nose, and shakes his head.

“And I’m really happy about it”, you smile softly.

“Of course you would be. I did it to come to Dublin with you”.

“Sounds like you’re regretting it now”.

You shrug your shoulders. “I could have been brain-fucked be Damian by now instead of just being with you. Dunno what’s better”, Gwil smiles and kisses you tenderly. Your neck gets numb, and you turn your whole body, your chest pressing to Gwil’s. The kiss is needy and sweet, with hands on cheeks, soft laughs and noses rubbing together. Every moment with Gwil is so intimate and soulful that you keep wondering how you could ever live without him. How did it happen that only ten months ago you met the love of your life?

“How is it possible”, Gwil says breathlessly in between kisses, “that I”, you kiss him heatedly again, “even had a life before you?”

You look into his eyes and smile sheepishly. “You’re cute, Gwilym Lee”, you put your hands around his neck. He raises his brows and grins back at you, his hands finding their way around your waist and they rest just above your ass.

“Oh, really?”

“Really”.

He looks at you for a while before speaking again. “Wanna meet my parents tomorrow?”

You nod eagerly. “Will Heather be there?”

Gwil rolls his eyes. “I won’t let my sister steal you from me”.

“Nothing can take me away from you, baby”, you peck his lips, “trust me”.

“Will you wear that dress?”

The look in his eyes is hopeful, he’s almost begging. You chuckle and press yourself even closer to him. “That dress means a lot to me, y’know. We met through it”.

“I remember something like that”.

You sigh and roll your eyes, being suddenly irritated with his remark. “Hope you don’t ruin it by the end of the night”.

Gwil’s eyes sparkle and he licks his lips. “Can’t promise you this, love”, he whispers before kissing you one more time.

________________________________________________________________

I would really love to see some feedback because I feel like this chapter is stupid and useless pls tell me what you think

“alio” taglist:  @majesticdiscodeaky @heartsarecompatible @all-my-friends-are-german @magicwithaknife @longing-hiraeth @thelondondreamer5 @roger-taylors-drumsticks @runningoutofwordstosay @chlobo6 @you-and-i-deserve-the-world @queenficarchive @murydedeus03 @alis-volat-propriiis @deacycomics @hollandspcter @gwils-bitch   @crazylittlethingcalleddub-step @painthatiusedto @kaylaylaylayla @rogerinastolemyheart @broken-pieces @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @leah-halliwell92 @brianandthemays @murydedeus03 @rogerfxckingtaylor  @zvzxs

[rejectedusername-trashfics]

Reaping Hearts and Souls: Chapter 9- A Heavenly Afterlife

Summary: Gavin Free wasn’t a good person in life, but he wasn’t bad enough to be denied a shot at redemption. Gavin is recruited to become a Grim Reaper and when he reaps enough souls, he can move on to a heavenly afterlife. As training, he’s assigned to reap the souls of the Vagabond’s victims. Only problem is that the Vagabond can see him and seems to be enamored with him.

Pairings: Ryan/Gavin, Michael/Lindsay, Geoff/Jack

Chapter: 9/9

Word Count: 3,954

AO3 LINK

Getting back to the AH branch building in Purgatory wasn’t the most complicated task, under normal circumstances. Having Ryan as the new Grim Reaper made things take a bit longer. Michael had to explain little things that Ryan didn’t quite understand, like how reapers can teleport back to Purgatory using darkness. Ryan tried to ask what he had to do as a Grim Reaper, but Michael said it wasn’t his responsibility to explain that. Jeremy smirked at Michael’s attempts to explain these things to Ryan, while Gavin did nothing but practically drape himself all over Ryan, not wanting to be apart from his soulmate for even a second.

The group finally arrived back in the teleportation room of the base. “I told you already, Vagabond, I guess the universe just associates death with darkness and that’s why we can use shadows to teleport between Purgatory and the real world!” Michael said in an annoyed tone.

“I’m sorry. I just thought you would understand this better since you’ve obviously been a Grim Reaper longer than I have,” Ryan replied. “Also, the Vagabond was murdered tonight, so you can just call me Ryan, now.”

“Well, why aren’t you asking your precious soulmate any of these questions?!”

“Because I know that ‘Gavin Free’ has only been dead for a couple of weeks. So obviously he couldn’t have been a Grim Reaper for all that long.”

“It feels like I’ve been a Grim Reaper for only a couple of days,” Gavin said as he nuzzled into Ryan’s side.

Jeremy chuckled. “As eventful as this night, or day, has been, I’m honestly surprised that Geoff isn’t in here to yell at us,” he said.

“Me too,” Michael admitted.

“Who’s Geoff?” Ryan asked.

“He’s the Grim Reaper that’s in charge of the AH branch. He’s the one who’s going to be teaching you how to be a Grim Reaper and shit. Or at least he would be, but he might pussy out because he was low-key afraid of the Vagabond.”

“Ah, okay then.”

“Actually, can we wait a bit to bring Ryan to Geoff?” Gavin asked.

“Let me guess, you want to go consummate your,” Jeremy started to ask.

“Jeremy, I don’t want to say it out loud!”

“I…” Michael started to object. Then he paused for a moment. He remembered how excited he was to go get it on with his soulmate for the first time and how much he fought for that opportunity. He sighed in defeat. “You two are going to go fuck whether or not I think you should, right now. Gavin, just give me your soul collector case and go do whatever you two are going to do. But be quick about it. Geoff’s already going to ride our asses for being late getting back here.”

Gavin rapidly nodded and tossed his soul collector case at Michael. He eagerly grabbed Ryan’s wrist and dragged him out of the room.

Michael and Jeremy walked to the judgement room. Michael took the first soul out of Gavin’s case and weighed it for judgement. “Wow, you were a lot less harsh on Gavin about him wanting to run off with Ryan than I thought you’d be,” Jeremy said.

“I remember how eager I was to start the intimacy of Lindsay’s and my relationship when we first got together. I got extremely pissed at Geoff when he was working her so hard that she didn’t have time for me,” Michael explained.

“I think I remember that, actually.”

“I wasn’t going to get in the way of Gavin and… Ryan’s, I think, intimacy. I may be a dick sometimes, but I’m not a hypocrite.”

“Or are you low-key afraid of him because he was the Vagabond?”

“I mean, I was at first. But then I walked in on Gavin kissing him and he seemed more like an insecure, lovestruck dork after that.”

“What, like someone who’s not used to romance?”

“Pretty much.”

Jeremy nodded and started to pull the souls he reaped out of his own soul case. After about a half an hour, the two of them were finished weighing their souls for judgement and putting them into their proper afterlives.

“I’m still surprised that Geoff hasn’t come here to yell at us,” Jeremy commented.

“He’s probably just expecting us to put away the souls, then report to him and explain ourselves,” Michael replied.

“He probably wants to yell at Gavin and meet the new reaper, though.”

“I… really wouldn’t go disrupt them. I have a feeling that we probably wouldn’t want to interrupt whatever they’re doing.”

“Or whoever’s doing who,” Jeremy said. Then the two of them shuddered at the imagery.

“Come on, let’s just go report to Geoff,” Michael said. Jeremy nodded and the two of them walked to Geoff’s office.

Jeremy gulped when he got to the office and Michael sighed. He opened the door for him and Jeremy and the both walked in. Geoff’s chair was turned around, facing the opposite wall. Jack was standing beside the desk and he raised an eyebrow when he saw the two of them walk in.

“Gavin,” Geoff started. “Care to explain yourself? Because I know that you’ve got to be the reason that everyone was late getting back to base,” he asked.

“Um, Gavin’s not in here,” Jack pointed out.

“Wait, what?” Geoff asked as he spun his chair around. Jeremy started sniggering in anticipation and Michael smacked him in the arm. “And where’s the new Grim Reaper? I thought you said you could get him!” he demanded from Michael.

“Oh, we got the new Grim Reaper…” Michael started to say.

“But he and Gavin are busy, right now,” Jeremy finished.

“Why would the new Grim Reaper be busy with Gavin?” Jack asked.

“Look, there was a bit of a situation with the new Grim Reaper and Gavin…” Michael trailed off.

“What is Gavin doing to the new Grim Reaper?!” Geoff demanded to know.

“You know, Gavin doesn’t really seem like he’d be on the giving end of whatever’s probably going on,” Jeremy said.

“Dude…” Michael said.

“What? Gavin just seems like he’d be a bottom.”

“That’s not something that I want to think about!”

“Where is Gavin hiding the new Grim Reaper?!” Geoff yelled.

“They’re probably in Gavin’s room. But if they’re doing what I think they’re doing, it’s not something that you would want to interrupt,” Michael quickly explained.

“I understand that the restrictions that we put on Gavin aren’t the easiest for him, but I’m trying to keep him from damning himself to a hell-like afterlife!”

“I know, but…”

“And withholding a new Grim Reaper from us is just going to damn him even faster. We are really trying to give him the redemption that the universe thought he deserved. He has to be willing to work with us so we can help him!”

“And normally, I would have sent Gavin and the new Grim Reaper your way, immediately. But considering the circumstances, I thought letting the two of them be would cause less problems,” Michael tried to explain.

“Letting Gavin break more rules is just causing more problems,” Jack said.

“You said that they’re in Gavin’s room?” Geoff asked.

“Most likely,” Michael replied.

“I don’t know, at least one of them might be into voyeurism,” Jeremy said as he sniggered.

“What?” Jack asked.

Geoff immediately stood up and marched to the door. “Wait!” Michael tried to call out after him. Geoff ignored him and stomped out the door.

“Wait, what did you mean by ‘one might be into voyeurism’?” Jack asked.

“I pretty sure at least one of them actually is into it because I’m sure that Gavin and Ryan were totally going to fuck in that warehouse if Michael hadn’t told them to cut it out,” Jeremy said, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Wait, Ryan? Wasn’t that what Gavin called the…” Jack trailed off as he realized what the situation was. “OH NO!!!!” he yelped as he ran out the door.

He ran to Gavin’s room in hopes that he’d find Geoff there. When he got there, he saw Geoff standing there, staring into the room and slack jawed. Jack could guess what Geoff was staring at, but the moan that came out of the room confirmed his fear.

Jack inched over to the door. He turned towards the room so he could shut the door, and cringed at the very intimate site that was clearly not meant for his eyes. He saw Gavin, covered only in a bedsheet, writhing in bed as a muscular man, who looked to be equally as covered, seemed to be messing with him underneath the sheets.

“Ryan! Quit bloody teasing me and just fuck me, already! I need you inside me!” Gavin moaned.

“Just making sure that you’re ready for me,” the other man said with a smirk. “But wait, do you have condoms in your nightstand or in your bathroom?” he asked.

“We’re both already dead, so what does safe sex matter at this point?!”

“Fair point.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and pulled the man down into a kiss. The sheets on the bed scooted lower on the bed and Jack quickly shut the door before he would get an eyeful of more things that he didn’t need to see.

“… Jack…?” Geoff slowly asked.

Jack jumped because he had momentarily forgotten that Geoff was there. “Yes, dear?” he asked.

“Gavin… was about to have sex with the new Grim Reaper…”

“Yeah, that… that was starting to happen…”

“Was the new Grim Reaper… the Vagabond?” Geoff asked.

“I…” Jack started to say, but couldn’t remember anything about what the Vagabond was like. “I’m not actually familiar with the Vagabond from any reaping missions that you sent me on, so I couldn’t tell you.”

“Gavin is probably getting fucked by the Vagabond…”

“Come on, let’s get you back to your office,” Jack said as he grabbed Geoff and pulled him back to his office.

When the two of them got back to the office, Geoff was still wide eyed and slack jawed. Jeremy saw Geoff’s face and he doubled over, laughing. Jack had to guide Geoff back to his chair and sit him down.

Michael sighed. “I can only assume you saw what we assumed was happening,” he said.

“Yes, and it raises several questions,” Jack replied.

“And I can answer them as best as I can.”

“Okay… is our new Grim Reaper, the Vagabond?”

“He was when he was alive, but I’m pretty sure he’d rather go by Ryan now.”

“How did he die? And how did he end up as a Grim Reaper instead of being sent to a hell-like afterlife?”

“Okay, so it turns out that he was doing some extra volunteer with soup kitchens and animal shelters outside of being a mercenary, so his fellow mercenaries decided to kill him. The fact that he could interact with Gavin and fell in love with him while nobody else could see him didn’t help his case…”

“So, the Vagabond did volunteer work to help people?”

Michael shrugged. “Apparently. The other mercenaries didn’t like that he did that he was trying to be a decent human being. But they also thought that he needed to be disposed of because he was batshit crazy for being in love with someone who ‘wasn’t real’,” Michael explained, making air quotations with his fingers.

“Gavin and the Vagabond are fucking…” Geoff trialed off.

“Yeah, turns out that Gavin had every right to be angry with us when we were saying that a newer, more innocent soulmate would come around for him because it turns out that he actually IS Ryan’s soulmate, as well.”

“Holy fucking shit…”

“Yeah, Gavin and Ryan are soulmates, so we should probably get used to this. Let’s just let them finish getting acquainted with each other,” Michael said.

“…I think I need a drink…”

“I’ll go get you a Diet Coke,” Jack offered as he walked to the door of the office door.

“Not what I meant…”

“Yes, it was,” Jack said as he left the room.

Two hours passed as everyone waited in Geoff’s office for Gavin and Ryan. Jack brought Geoff several Diet Cokes to calm his nerves. Jeremy made fun of everyone for being so wrong about the Vagabond and for passing unnecessary judgment when death was supposed to be impartial.

“Do you think that someone should get them?” Jeremy asked.

“Not at all. They are having their initial soulmate time and it might be messy if we try and interrupt that, again,” Geoff said as he shuttered.

The door to the office started to open and everybody looked towards the door. A tanner hand that clearly belonged to Gavin was on the doorknob. Everyone eagerly waited for Gavin to finish opening the door, but there was a sudden pause.

“You know, Ryan,” Gavin started to say. “There’s been something that’s been on my mind ever since you became a Grim Reaper, a few hours ago, that I was wondering if you knew anything about.”

“I mean, there’s not a lot I know about being a Grim Reaper…” Ryan trailed off.

“Actually, it’s about your appearance.”

Ryan blinked in surprise. “Oh! What about my appearance?”

“Before you were Grim Reaper-ifed, you had black hair. How come your hair is dark blonde, now?” Gavin asked.

“Would you believe me if I said I thought dying it black would make me look creepier when I first became a mercenary?”

“Really?”

“I thought it was unnecessary work, later on. But I had a brand to keep up with,” Ryan explained. Gavin started to giggle. “What?”

“You are such a dork,” Gavin laughed.

Ryan gave him a peck on the lips to shut him up. “Don’t be mean.”

“Don’t worry, I love you too much.”

“No such thing as too much. Now come on, let’s go meet everyone else,” Ryan said as he pressed against Gavin’s hand that was on the doorknob to fully open the door.

The two of them walk into the office. Gavin’s hair was all over the place and Ryan’s was down and messy. Neither of their shirts were tucked in. Gavin’s shirt was poorly buttoned and he wasn’t wearing any of his silver jewelry besides his rings. Ryan wasn’t wearing his jacket or belt.

“So, how was consummating the soulmate-relationship?” Michael asked.

Gavin’s face turned beet red. “I thought you didn’t want to hear about it!” he yelled.

“We don’t need to talk about it if Gavin’s not comfortable talking about it,” Ryan said. Geoff gulped; he already knew more about it than he wanted to. Ryan heard Geoff’s gulp and turned to face him. “Is there something you’d like to say on the subject?” Ryan asked.

“Ryan!” Gavin scolded as he lightly batted Ryan’s arm.

“No, not at all!” Geoff quickly replied.

“Alright then. And I’m assuming that you’re Geoff because you’re the one sitting at the desk,” Ryan said. Then he looked up at Jack. “No offense,” he said to him.

“None taken because you’re right. He’s Geoff and I’m Jack, his assistant and soulmate,” Jack replied.

“Nice to know Gavin and I aren’t the only soulmates around here.”

“Hey, I have a soulmate who’s a Grim Reaper, too,” Michael argued. Ryan nodded in response.

Geoff coughed. “Right, so I have a few questions for you,” he said.

“Ask away,” Ryan replied.

“Are you really the Vagabond?” he asked.

“I was, but I’m pretty sure that I can’t do that anymore.”

“You can’t be a mercenary as a Grim Reaper. Well, you could, but then you would be damning yourself to a hell-like afterlife and nobody wants that,” Jeremy replied.

Ryan shrugged in indifference. “I know I don’t want to go to hell. I just want to enjoy whatever constitutes as an afterlife with the man I love.”

“D’aw, Rye-bread,” Gavin said. He got on his tippy-toes and kissed Ryan on the cheek.

“What made you want to stop being a mercenary?” Jack asked.

“I was born and raised as a killer. But once I got to the outside world, I was able to see some of the good in it. I saw that there were people that needed help and there were people who were willing to help others. It made me realize that not everyone deserved to die and I didn’t want to be a part of killing good people. Of course, I was scared of how little I knew about how to be a good person myself, but I tried to do volunteer work so I could learn how to be good and so I could eventually feel confident enough to leave the mercenary work, behind. Obviously, that never happened. But, I’m here now, and I can do something useful for the universe. Maybe get a good afterlife in the end. But for now, I’m just happy I get to spend it with Gavin,” Ryan explained, finishing up his story by giving Gavin a kiss on the lips.

Michael smirked. “So, you’re not actually the cold-hearted mercenary that everyone makes you out to be?” he asked.

“He’s actually pretty warm and snuggly,” Gavin cooed. Ryan snorted and pulled Gavin close.

Geoff and Jack looked at how close and intimate Gavin and Ryan were acting with each other, then back at each other in understanding. They both had been completely wrong about the type of person that the Vagabond, or Ryan, really was.

Jeremy coughed. “I told you so,” he said as he coughed again.

“What was that?” Geoff asked.

“Nothing,” he quickly replied.

Geoff sighed. “Come on, Let’s make Ryan his welcoming dinner. Then was can show him the basics of being a Grim Reaper,” he announced as he stood up.

Everyone else went to follow Geoff out the door. “Wait, where’s Lindsay? I bet she would love to meet Ryan,” Michael asked.

“She’s just cleaning up the souls of the daytime deaths in Los Santos,” Jack explained.

“Ah.”

Everyone exited the room to hear loud feminine screeching. “Who’s that?” Ryan asked.

“I think that’s…” Michael started to answer before Lindsay slammed into him and shoved her lips onto his. Michael blinked in surprise, but quickly fell into the kiss.

Geoff gagged. “Haven’t I dealt with enough PDA for one day?!” he complained.

“Technically, whatever you saw with Ryan and Gavin wasn’t PDA. You brought that one on yourself,” Jeremy said.

“You saw Ryan and I…” Gavin yelped. Ryan pulled him closer and shushed him to calm him down.

Michael and Lindsay’s kiss broke. “Lindsay, I love you very much and I’m not saying that I didn’t appreciate it, but what brought that on?” Michael asked.

“Michael,” Lindsay started to say as she grabbed Michael’s hands. “We can finally move on!”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I just met my soul quota!”

“So that means…” Michael started to say. Lindsay started nodding, furiously. Michael broke out into a huge grin. “We can finally move on to our heavenly afterlife?!” he asked in excitement.

“WE CAN GO TO OUR HEAVENLY AFTERLIFE!” she cheered. Michael pulled Lindsay into another kiss and everyone started clapping.

“Are you two ready to go?” Geoff asked.

“Duh!” Lindsay replied.

“It’s about damn time!” Michael added.

“Then let’s all walk you to the judgement room. Might be a good opportunity to show Ryan where the judgement room is, as well,” Geoff said.

“Wait, who’s Ryan?” Lindsay asked.

“I’m Ryan,” Ryan replied. Lindsay looked over at him. “Formerly known as the Vagabond, but currently known as a Grim Reaper and as Gavin’s soulmate. It’s a shame that I didn’t really get a chance to get to know you guys.”

“Hey, you’ll get to meet us again when you and Gavin make it to your heavenly afterlives,” Michael replied.

“Looking forward to it, then.”

“Alright, let’s stop holding these two up and go see them off,” Geoff announced.

Everyone followed behind Michael and Lindsay as they walked to the judgement room. They got to the room and saw the scale of judgement, and the two doors with mail slots on them. “So, I assume you weigh souls against that dove feather, there. It looks like if that scale weighs less than the feather and tips to the left, it goes to this heavenly afterlife that you talk about. Then if it weighs more than the feather and tips to the right, it goes to hell. Is that how this works?” Ryan asked.

Geoff stared at Ryan in shock. “How the fuck did you get that right on the first guess?!” he asked.

Ryan shrugged. “A hunch,” he replied.

“Can we let these two go now?” Jack asked.

“Right,” Geoff replied.

He walked over to the door to the heavenly afterlife and unlocked the door. Michael and Lindsay bounced up and down in excitement. “I just say thank you for everything, Michael. You let me play boss even though it was clear that you had more experience than me. And thank you, Lindsay, for handling everything us dumb old men couldn’t. We’re going to miss you both,” Geoff said.

“Thank you for helping us all out here,” Jack said.

“You’ll always be my bros,” Jeremy said.

“Michael, my boi, thank you for helping me out as I figured out my soulmate situation. And thank you Lindsay for keeping us all together,” Gavin said.

“I was nice to meet you guys,” Ryan said.

“It was amazing getting to work with you two. Now, go have an amazing afterlife,” Geoff said as he opened the door to the heavenly afterlife.

Michael and Lindsay gave everyone hugs. Lindsay went through the door first. Michael stood in the doorway, framed by its light. “I’ll see you guys again, soon,” he said, before entering the heavenly afterlife and disappearing for good.

Geoff shut the door to the heavenly afterlife and wiped a tear from his eye. “Don’t think I’ve ever gotten to see something as beautiful as a Grim Reaper finally moving on,” he said.

“It will be even more beautiful when we get to move on, one day,” Jack said.

“And we’ll keep working hard until we do,” Jeremy added.

“Now, come on. I think I promised to make our new Grim Reaper dinner,” Geoff said.

“Please don’t make the new reaper pomegranate and chicken stew, again,” Jeremy said.

“I mean, I do like pomegranates. But I more so associate them with sweeter things. Or they do go well in salads. Can you even get salads in Purgatory?” Ryan thought aloud.

“I’ll see what else we have around here. I can make a pomegranate tart for desert or something. But come on, let’s go make some dinner before we get to work,” Geoff said as he ushered everyone out of the room.

Jack and Jeremy followed behind Geoff. Gavin went to follow the two of them but paused when he noticed that Ryan wasn’t moving. “Rye?” he asked.

Ryan turned to face him. “It’s starting to hit me that I’m dead and it’s my job to lead people to their afterlives. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a lot to take in,” he said.

“You’re picking up on everything a lot faster than I did. I still haven’t figured it all out, yet.” Gavin paused what he was saying and offered a hand out to Ryan. “But we can figure it out together.”

Ryan looked down at Gavin’s hand and smiled. He grabbed it and held it snug. “Have I ever told you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me? In life and after.”

“In life and after,” Gavin replied. The two of them walked out of the judgement room and to the kitchen for dinner together.

[sheismental]

how it’s supposed to be — tom holland (chapter V)

CHAPTER I \ CHAPTER II \ CHAPTER III \ CHAPTER IV \ CHAPTER V

→ “You know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader.

summary: the way things are supposed to be are not always the way things are.

warning: angst! angst...and foul language. and tom holland sexiness

★━━─

“And you think that’s okay?.” Natalia asks y/n with skeptical, her eyebrowos raise as she grimaces. Y/n shrugs, her hair up in a bun as she clutches her pillow close to her chest.

“I think so?.” She replies insecurely. “God, Natalia - I don’t know, i just know that kissing him felt so damn right.” She lets out a shaky sigh, Natalia’s damp blonde hair falls just below her ears as she shakes her head.

“Y/n i know you better that anyone - I really want you to be happy, but i’m worried that this whole Tom thing might just be a way to distract yourself from Nick.” Natalia confesses, making y/n bite her inner cheek - her head aches at her swirling thoughts. 

Tom left that night, just a couple of nights ago, with the biggest smile on his face - His eyes as bright as the shinning stars, filled with excitment, and y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t feel the exact same way. 

“This ‘whole thing with Tom’-.” Y/n air quotes. “It’s not a distraction, Nat - I like him.” You state, and Natalia cocks an eyebrow.

“Enough to go through the same thing you went through with Nick? Enough to get your heart broken again?.” She asks, her figure laying against the matress - Y/n knew that look better than anyone; Natalia didn’t agree with her. “You broke up with Nick less than a week ago, because he cheated y/n. That is not somehting easy to process, not when it happens with the guy whom everyone thought would spend the rest of his life with you.” She continues, with every word dripping with care and honesty. “I just want to make sure you’re doing this because you are sure, not because you need someone else by your side.”

Y/n sighs heavily, wanting things to be easier - She knew that just the thought of Tom made her heart race, that his shy smile made her stomach churn with excitment and that that kiss still made her lips tingle with joy. But for how long? How long would that feeling truly last?.

After a moment of silence, Natalia smiles tight lipped as her hand rubs your knee tenderly.

“You really think i will get my heart broken again?.” Your voice sounds fearful of the answer Natalia might give you. 

“I hope not, y/n. I want nothing but happiness for you, i’m just trying to do the labor of the best friend here. Are you sure of him - of Tom -?.”

“I don’t know.” Those three dreaded words leave your mouth, causing an explosion of doubts inside your head - Was it enough to know you wanted Tom?.

★━━─

Tom’s leg bounces up and down, the keys on the pocket of his jeans jiggling.

“Mate would you calm down? It’s just a text.” Harrison mocks as a playful smile frames his lips. Tom’s eyes dart from his phone to his best friend.

“What if she says she doesn’t want to go out with me anymore?.” Tom asks nervously. Harrison rolls his eyes and swiftly takes Tom’s phone from between his hands. “Hey!-.”

“Mate, i tolerate you - But you need to focus on this interview rather than y/n.” 

And that was true, they were minutes away from his interview with Kelly and Ryan - Though Tom seemed off his game as he waited for y/n’s reply.

Tom runs his hand through his curls, sighing as he nods. “Yeah man, i know.” 

“Tom you’re up in five!.” Someone yells and Tom nods, before looking at Harrison.

“Just see if she replies, okay?.” Tom pleads and Harrison, clutching the phone with his hand, nods. 

★━━─

“We have a very special guest with us today, the Spider-Man himself, Tom Holland!.” 

“Oh please change the channel.” You plead, taking a sip of your coffee as Natalia chuckles and shakes her head.

“I want to see this.” Natalia replies and you narrow your eyes at her, she sees this and raises her hands in surrender. “Hey if you are going to date this guy i need to see how he acts.”

You roll your eyes playfully, as Tom appears on the screen - Waving and looking like prince charming himself. His red shirt fitted him to perfection, biceps flexing as he waved - His pearly white teeth taking the spotlight as he sat next to Kelly and Ryan.

The interview goes on, you barely notice what they are saying as you stare at Tom’s features - getting hard to believe you had seen those features close-up, hovering over your face. His curls styled back, he crosses his arms over his chest - and your breath hitches as his strong arms flex once again, the watch strapped to his wrist just made him look more attractive. 

“We need to ask, Tom - There was a huge scandal a couple of days ago, some kind of physical fight between you and Nick? I mean we thought he was one of your closest friends. Please explain.” Ryan asks swiftly and the question makes you shiver. Tom’s jaw clenches as he licks his lips, you could tell he had grown tense.

“Uh it was something silly.” He mumbles nervously before swallowing the lump on his throat. He frowns slightly and you do too. “Actually no-.” He clears his throat and your eyes widen. “It wasn’t something silly, but i do not regret what happened -.” 

“But what happened exactly? Why would you two engage into a physical fight?.” Kelly insists and your mouth agapes as you leave the cup of coffee in the coffee table, bringing your knees close to your chest as you try to sit comfortable in the couch - But your nerves were so tense that it was almost impossible to find yourself comfortable.

“Shit.” Natalia drags on and you glare at her. “Sorry.”

Through the screen you see as Tom licks his lips nervously.

“Not something i really want to talk about, i’m sorry.” He explains softly and Kelly smiles brightly. “Oh don’t worry about it! We totally understand.”

You sigh as your muscles relax. The scandal of Nick and you breaking up was still fresh on the news, last thing you needed was another one so you were glad Tom hadn’t said anything.

You grab your phone, turning it one - Tom’s text shinning brightly in the screen, you bite your bottom lip softly, not knowing what to do. You unlock it, watching as the conversation pops on.

When can i take you out, darling?

Your eyes travel to the ceiling, your finger tapping the back of your phone.

“What are you going to reply?.” Natalia asks, making your head turn to her - She smiles softly. Your eyes dart from the screen of your phone to the tv screen.

★━━─

Tom walks out of the stage, running to Harrison as he smiles recomfortingly. 

“She almost got you, mate.” Harrison notes and Tom sighs exhaustedly.

“Not quite.” Tom reassures and gestures to his phone, Harrison chuckles lightly.

“And here i was thinking you actually wanted to talk to me.” Harrison jokes as he hands Tom his phone, whom sticks his tongue at him.

“Are you jealous, Haz?.” Tom teases and Harrison punches his arm playfully.

“I pity her, you are bloody horrible.” Harrison laughs but Tom is already eagerly unlocking his phone. Tom’s heart races as he sees a new message pop up, his thumb grazes the screen as he opens it.

i don’t think we should go out.

Tom’s smile fades away, replaced by a grimace.

★━━─

You watch as the three dots appear on your screen, then disappear only to appear once again, after a few seconds of not getting anything you turn off your phone, biting your inner cheek.

Never had a text been so hard to write until now. 

Natalia half smiles recomfortingly. “Do you want to go for something to eat?.” She asks and you nod silently. “Okay then we should change because we look fucking horrible.” She jokes and you almost smile.

“Way to lift my self esteem, Nat.” You scold playfully before making your way to your bedroom with Natalia trailing behind you.

“What are best friends for?.” She asks rethorically before opening your closet. “Now let’s get you to wear something nice.” 

After an hour, you make your way to the restaurant - The black dress tight in every right place as plunging of the v-neck fell on your chest. Natalia smiled proudly at your figure, clapping and yelling how wonderful you looked - And as much as that helped, you could only think about Tom complimenting you like that. 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to wear this dress, Nat. You have some fucking serious power over me.”  You curse as you walk into the way too fancy restaurant and Natalia elbows your ribs lightly.

“We are treating ourselves tonight, babe. Besides it is not every day i come all the way from Spain to visit my dearest friend.” She smiles and you shake your head while a smile creeps onto your face. 

I’m so glad she’s here.

You feel glares burn your skin as you make your way to the table, ready to enjoy the night and forget about the aching in your heart.

The evening flies fast, between jokes and laugh your mind slips away from Tom as Natalia tells stories about her life as a journalist - and before you can process everything, Natalia is embracing you goodbye, mumbling a sweet ‘it will be okay; and getting into a cab to her hotel.

You get into your car and drive to your apartment, imagining the feel of taking your black heels off and the soft silk sheets grazing your skin. A soft smile plasters your face as you walk into the hallway with your head down, your heels clicking the floor as you approach the apartment door.

You raise your head slightly, eyes traveling to a figure sitting outside of an apartment door - The man’s hands are over his eyes, hair ruffled as a sigh escapes his lips. Your mouth opens slightly, stopping midway as you notice that the man is sitting outside your apartment. 

The abrupt sound of your stopping makes the man’s head turn to you, brown eyes locking with yours.

Tom’s breath hitches as he sees your figure wrapped around the black silky dress, he blinks - making sure he is actually seeing you and not hallucinating. 

“Tom.” You breathe out slowly, swallowing the lump on your throat as he awkwardly gets up - His hair is ruffled and the same shirt he wore in Kelly & Ryan’s interview s slightly wrinkled due to waiting outside your apartment door. “How long how you been there?.” You ask, your hands grasping your apartment keys. 

He scratches the back of his neck nervously as he stares at you, he knew it wouldn’t be easy talking to you - But he never knew how stunned he would be, you looked straight out of magazine. He had seen you in red carpets before, holding Nick close and flashing lights hovering your face - But now, below the dimmed lights of the hallway, you looked unreal to him.

“Just uh a couple of hours.” He replies, finishing with a nervous yet beautiful smile. “I wanted to talk to you.” He trails off and you clear your throat, awkwardly standing closer to him - forgetting the fact that you wanted to get in bed.

“Tom-.”

“I just don’t understand, y/n. Why-why did you change your mind?.” He interrupts and looks at you. “I thought you wanted this.” He gestures the space between the two of you, only inches away. 

Your hair tucked behind your ears, suddenly you wish you had the curtain of your hair to hide your eyes from Tom’s. You shift uncomfortably, you knew he was waiting for your answer.

“It’s too complicated, Tom.” You say it to yourself more than to him. “I don’t need complicated right now.” He bites his bottom lip.

“I’m not bloody Nick, y/n.” He says deseperately. “Things won’t be complicated, i’m not a fucking asshole.” 

Your tongue glides over your bottom lip as you shake your head, the sight of him pleading was too much. “It will be.” You state as a matter of factly. “It always is.”

He looks at you with hurt in his eyes, how could you be saying that? After he had confessed his love for you, the love he had felt ever since he met you. 

“You don’t know that.” He corrects and reaches over you, and you let him. He gets closer - His hand taking yours as his thumb runs across the back of it.

You look down at his gesture before locking eyes with him - He has the stars in his eyes, you think as his eyes sparkle with hopeful naivety. 

“But i do.” You correct and he swallows hard. “And i don’t want it.” You slowly shake your hand out of his grasp, his jaw clenches and his cheeks flush - with exasperation and sorrow. 

Your words run through his veins like venom, feeling as if he was being killed from the inside, and he was. 

You reach over to the doorknob and look at him. “Goodbye, Tom.” 

He shakes his head. “You know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” 

You shut your eyes, feeling as tears start welling up in your eyes. 

“This isn’t a fairy tale, Tom. We aren’t meant to be, nobody is.” Your voice shakes, but deep down you know you are doing the right thing.

“Fine, then tell me right here on my face that you feel nothing for me.” He raises his voice, raspy and low as his hands form into fists - Knuckles turning white. 

You look at him dumbfounded. “What?.”

“Tell me you don’t feel anything for me-.” He takes a step closer to you, his hands sliding up your arm, your knees buckle. “And i will go.” His voice is soft, yet there’s nothing but determination dripping from each word. His fingertips graze your arm, making goosebumps grow. 

You suck in your breath, you knew his game - His touches and soft voice would make you fall right into him, but you also knew better than that. 

“Tell me.” He urges, his lips parting as he looks down at you. Your lips part, words urging to come out - but they can’t and when they do, they aren’t the words Tom wanted so badly to hear. 

“I don’t feel anything for you.” 

  ★━━─

sheismental masterlist

tom holland masterlist

tag list:

@choke-me-sweet-pea @taylorjrs13 @ooopsharry @spidyboyholland   @imatrisk @distantsmiles @xallyouhadtodowasstay @thelyinglady  @sterolinelover13 @nihilistisright  @sangstersvalentine @roses-hxlland @exposingrande @keilanimelton @oops-is-my-life @greenarrowhead  @bagelbiites @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads  @kendratheweird

this means i couldn’t tag you!