#so sad xichen ge..

[piosplayhouse]

Realized how funny the revelation that mxtx created Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao to be completely opposite characters is when you consider that Lan Xichen fell for and managed to bag 2 completely opposite boyfriends and then proceeded to lose both of them to each other. He bisexualed too close to the sun 😞

[thewalrus-said]

#twisting that knife with the biggest most innocent eyes (via @autumnslantern)

AS WELL HE SHOULD because, Lan Xichen!!!!! How long have you known that was da-ge's body, Lan Xichen?!?! How long have you known and yet Huaisang has had no word from you, no letter, no messenger pigeon or smoke signal to tell him da-ge's body had been fucking dismembered, Lan Xichen????? Why is Huaisang hearing about this at the same moment as everyone else, including the murder suspect, Lan Xichen?????

Ugh. I love Lan Xichen as a blorbo but (lbr, because) he is the most morally frustrating character in the whole story.

THE UNTAMED Episode 42/50

[tavina-writes]

A Practical Discussion of Eligible MDZS Bachelors During the Second Life

So I keep seeing discussions floating around about like "why aren't any of these people married" and "are JC's standards too high?" and other assorted nonsense, so I have decided to put together a ranking of like "if a practical minded historical* woman wanted to get ahead politically with the LEAST amount of #suffering, what rankings would she give these guys." Because I've been really fond of @dangermousie's poll options, I'm calling this girl Potato.

*Historical fantasy more or less given that we assume that Potato is also a cultivator.

Jiang Cheng There are many reasons for this but 1) Jiang Cheng's in-laws consist entirely of (1) bratty nephew who doesn't even live at his house full time, 2) there are no other meddling in laws or sect elders given that Jiang Cheng is the only one! 3) he is reasonably good looking, well off, and has social status by this point in the story. Potato can probably win over a bratty nephew! Downsides include: if Potato doesn't like spicy foods oh dear, but honestly we don't know what Potato's spice tolerance is so it could still work out!

Nie Huaisang: Being married to NHS would be an exercise in perpetual embarrassment, and it's unclear if his budget line items ever since Da-ge died are any more detailed than "Summertime Sadness." There are worse people to marry, but why anyone (including Potato) would willingly choose to marry NHS for political benefit eludes me. He is ranked higher on this list than any Lan largely for the sake of "his mom was probably not in solitary confinement" and "there are likely no dietary restrictions present in his house." but the other downsides include "he's probably going to go INSANE" at some point but silver lining on that front is that he's really not a very good cultivator, so it probably won't be as bad as NMJ's insanity bender? Potato could rank him lower than any Lan options tbh.

Lan Xichen There are also many reasons why Mr. Zewu-jun is not an ideal marriage candidate for practical reasons but this largely has to do with his family. There's 33 favorite grandpas who seem to have opinions on the regular. The in-law trouble would suck tremendously. There's 5am wakeup calls and 9pm bedtimes and no meat or alcohol. There's like between 3000-4000 rules Potato will have to remember and actually follow! His mom spent her entire married life mysteriously in solitary confinement. #Yikes!

This seems like an unwise place to marry into. Potato could do better.

Lan Wangji See above except for the part where he doesn't even like Potato and only thinks about WWX all day.

Lan Qiren I am uncertain about Potato's investment in #HotDilfsInLocalArea but 3000-4000 rules and many of Zewu-jun's problems.

Jin Guangyao He's already married and he's never cheating on his incest marriage, and he has his ex's head in his bedroom closet. Also #Yikes. Potato could do better than this too.

Basically: Potato should either aim to marry Jiang Cheng or go to live as a hermit in the woods.

[bnnywngs]

modern mdzs au where lan xichen and lan wangji treat their father as if he's dead because they haven't seen him since they were kids and have no idea where he is, and lan qiren does nothing and says nothing so people believe qingheng-jun is dead.

then suddenly, he reappears looking all sad and remorseful asking for forgiveness and that he wants to get closer to his kids. everyone else is just so shocked to see him alive, while lan xichen looks and feels troubled (he doesn't want to, but filial piety... but he don't want to even look at this man, but filial piety.... but this man is but a stranger to him, not a father at all, but filial piety...) and lan wangji gives him a dirty look, a firm no and walks away (like the petty bitch he is).

lan wangji somehow convinces his brother to make the man go away and to not forgive him, because he does not deserve it.

"abandon him as he abandoned us." he says.

"no pretty words and ugly faces can erase those years, xichen, he's never been a father to you." nie mingjue says.

"i know it's hard, but you should face your own heart, xichen-ge. if you wanted to forgive him, you would've done it already. he's a stranger, as you say, and you don't owe him anything." wei wuxian said.

in the end, lan xichen asks his uncle (who he always secretly thought as his father) to send his progenitor away.

"what do you feel?" lan wangji asked.

"relieved." lan xichen smiled "sad, but still... i'm glad i don't have to deal with that again."

[jingyi-ma-boi]

#NMJ feeling weird about her chonky leather boots on the floors of xiyao's immaculately well-kept house. #(i was about to say penthouse but frankly i think xichen would die without a garden so they live in a mansion now) #they've got a fully equipped home gym they barely use other than xichen doing some morning yoga #haha yeah of COURSE you can do your workout routine here mingjue please 😏 they don't mind 😏 at all #in fact meng yao is feeling so... inspired by watching you she wants to get in shape herself!! #so she'll be over here just... taking things slow... watching you for... proper technique. #is it too hot in here? sorry the thermostat is uh. broken. yeah. but you could always take your shirt off!

(via @lgbtlunaverse your tags are amAZING)

consider: married milfs xiyao (rich and successful) slowly seducing awkward butch nie mingjue (young single mum working two jobs energy)

[weiying-lanzhan-fics]

Practical Mythology by metisket

Funnest story ever! I loved this soooo much - didn’t want it to ever end. Thank you for this gem ❤️

Quotes:

“You only hurt bad people,” Lan Wangji informs him with perfect confidence. “They won’t be worried.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan,” the Yiling Patriarch says, ducking his head and smiling, but sounding sad for some reason. “If only everyone had the faith in me that you do.”

Lan Wangji frowns. Everyone should have faith in the Yiling Patriarch. The Yiling Patriarch is always fair, and that means his rules and the Lan rules can’t be that different. “Can I visit you again?”

The Yiling Patriarch beams at him so brightly that Lan Wangji’s breath catches. “Yes! Come visit me, Lan Zhan. But you have to wait until you’re grown, okay? For decency’s sake.” He laughs, and Lan Wangji isn’t sure why.

“When will I be grown?” Lan Wangji wants to be clear.

“Hmm.” The Yiling Patriarch looks skyward, rubbing his nose thoughtfully. “…Twenty? Let’s say twenty. Your uncle shouldn’t have too much of a qi deviation about that. How’s that sound?”

Lan Wangji frowns, but nods anyway. It’s a very long time, but he supposes that’s how all the Yiling Patriarch stories are. You can’t win anything worth having without fighting for it yourself. “I will be here.”

“I look forward to it, Lan Zhan,” the Yiling Patriarch, smiling and tugging gently at Lan Wangji’s hair one last time before sending him away to the other side of the barrier—to his brother and uncle.

————

It takes him a couple of hours, but he eventually finds the perfect victim. Said victim is innocently standing in a garden admiring the flowers, and has no idea what level of little brother nonsense is about to hit him. Poor thing.

“So, Xichen-ge, I hear your brother is planning to run away and marry the Yiling Patriarch,” Nie Huaisang casually declares. He’s always felt more comfortable hassling Lan Xichen than he has Lan Wangji, anyway. “What’s that about?”

Lan Xichen sighs and suddenly looks very tired. “It was cute when he was eight.”

Wow. Just wow. “How did he even meet the Yiling Patriarch when he was eight?”

Oh, that was a bad question, because Lan Xichen’s eyes just iced over like a Gusu winter. Nie Huaisang will just have to pry the details of that ugly story from someone else. “Never mind!” he cries. “It doesn’t matter. At least Senior Wei is nice.”

Lan Xichen frowns at him in confusion. “Senior Wei? Your father’s friend, Senior Wei?”

Oh good. At least Nie Huaisang isn’t the only one who didn’t know. “My father’s friend, Senior Wei, who is the Yiling Patriarch. Yes.”

He’s never seen Lan Xichen gape before. This is a shockingly exciting day in the Cloud Recesses.

T, 17.5k

Summary:

The Yiling Patriarch is a living legend—a terrifying, ancient force of nature, dispensing punishment or reward with implacable, indifferent fairness.

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, is a weird but oddly charming guy who wanders around the cultivation world making fun of people's art and mooching food from sect leaders.

It really upsets people to find out that they're the same person.

[jingyi-ma-boi]

Don’t do this to me, please, I beg you (/j). My polyam, AuADHD ass loves these three men SO MUCH and is incapable of choosing among them. Like, yes, I am obsessed with JGY and kinda project onto/relate to him a lot. But it’s the same with NMJ and LXC for me. I won’t say I love them equally because you never love different entities in the same way and all the JGY hate there’s out there makes me focus more on the JGY stan side of things, but I honestly cannot choose between them 😭

Time to start a war.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

Still with the Nielan Baby AU. In the final act, Jin Guangyao, learning the truth about the kid got angry and asks bitterly to Xichen what "this barbarian who only knew violence as answer" had more than him. "were you ashamed of it if you didn't tell me"

Maybe he pretends the child was a mistake. Or that Mingjue takes advantages of Xichen because of his QI instability. Horrible things. Like if he didn't get himself married, didn't love his wife (before learning who she was for him). Maybe he's just bitter now because he had always wanted Xichen too.

Xichen is a wreck for obvious reason. He has been betrayed, captured, his spiritual powers sealed, his brother, nephew (Let's say Yuan is here) and son (+ all the others) are in danger and Jin Guangyao insults Mingjue's memory after have killed him and cut his body in pieces. He ruined his dream of a happy family, and Xichen lived the same thing than his mother (having his child taken away of him) but worse since it was barely a monthly visit that he had with his own child.

Little Bao is clutched to Huaisang, terrified. He doesn't understand why his uncle Yao is so angry suddenly. Why he says terrible things about his father and why uncle Xichen seems to sad.

Jin Ling forget his own pain and hug the child, telling him to not listen his uncle. He's in tears himself. Lan Sizhui gives comfort to his cousin too (he just learns who the kid was).

"Er-Ge, i wouldn't have taken your child away of you if it was me"

"No, because if you didn't kill Mingjue, it wouldn't have happened!"

Huaisang can't shut up "and considering that you have killed your own son, i doubt he would have been safe with you"

"If he had been mine, i wouldn't have reason to kill him because he wouldn't have been a disgusting incestous child!"

A-Ling cries even more because it was his cousin and it is so painful, he thinks to his aunt and how she was sad to have lost her baby and how she couldn't have another.

And A-Ling can't stop to wonder: Would his uncle Yao have killed him is his child wasn't the result of a incest? if he thought that he was a threat for his son?

Wei Wuxian is furious.

Lan Wangji has murder impulses.

Jiang Cheng is judging the hell of Jin Guangyao because "worse uncle and father EVER"

Jin Guangyao turns to the kid "A-Bao, do you knows how young your father was when he's dead? You'll live the same fate if you continue in the Nie way"

"You're the one who killed Dage!" yells Huaisang, furious. "you have no right to speak to A-Bao"

But the kid looks at JGY and says, with as much serious voice he can use: "i know the fate of my father and my ancestors but Bobo and Uncle Xichen makes sure that it will never happen to me! I'm the futur sect leader Nie and i'll make my father proud.

"Uncle" JGY laughs "are you aware that it's your other parent"

Bao looks at him, tears in his eyes "Yes. Bobo tells me. Yesterday. "

.

[lgbtlunaverse]

Wildly veering into the realm of headcanon here but I think jgy has, like, deeply embarassing and intense fantasies about nie mingjue being courteous to his mom.

He has them about everyone to some extend it's his favorite way to calm down. Close your eyes, imagine your mom decked out in gold, her hair bound up, everyone bowing to her. It's how he gets through meetings without murdering everyone. But I think nie mingiue in particular is a very common solo target for these.

Lan Xichen gets his own special edition too, but it's not the same. Because he has a very clear and realistic picture of what he'd actually do. They don't talk about his mom that much but whenever she comes up xichen is always like well she sounds like a kind woman trying to make the best of her situation 😊 and everytime he thinks about them interacting there's a risk of it getting sad because oh if only...

Jin guangshan? Complete opposite end of the spectrum. It's very gratifying to imagine his mom getting everything she wanted but it's also too unrealistic. Even when still desperate for approval he knows what his father is like. He indulges in them from time to time but it's like the whole time there's an alarm flashing red overhead and going "out of character! Out of character!"

But Nie mingjue. Ohhhhh. Perfectly in the middle. Possible, but improbable enough it be exiting. Sure, he's an honourable man who didn't judge him for his background but he judged him for a whole lot of other things. Did he not discard jin guangyao just like his father threw away his mother when he got bored of her? He's both so easy to admire and so easy to be angry at and it's tantalizing.

He imagines himself walking arm in arm with his mom, in better health than she's ever been, dressed more luxuriously than even the wives of sect leaders on their wedding days, and Nie Mingjue comes up and bowes to her deeper than any sect leader should bow to anyone. Maybe even takes her hand and kisses it and dream!jgy gasps because that is so improper for any unmarried man to do to a woman not of his family!! But Nie Mingjue just looks confused because why shouldn't he pay Meng Shi the respect she so clearly deserves? If people interpret it wrongly that is their problem. Not even er-ge would do that. Would avoid inappropiate touches as a proper lan should but Nie Mingjue? Mingjue doesn't care about those things, if he wants to tell jin guangyao's mother she is the most elegant and radiant woman he's seen in the entire jianghu he will do so because he means it, dammit.

You can't call them horny exactly but they are carnal. This is a deep base desire he's satisfying here and oh does nie mingjue do his job well.

I think he has them, like, almost every day. I think he wakes up from them blushing I think he daydreams about it every single time he and Nie Mingjue talk. Even if it went bad. Especially if it went bad.

I think after the stairs incident the dreams mortifyingly increase dramatically for a few days. He sees it play out behind his eyelids everytime he so much as blinks. Imagines Nie Mingjue down on his knees kowtowing, apologizing to his mother, imagines him being outraged at his real self's words. Dishonourable, unfair, he would never say that. He closes his eyes when he first plays the song of turmoil for nie mingjue and imagines it the entire time. And when he's done he takes a deep breath and then he fucking beats the thought to death and stuffs it away with all the other feelings he's repressing and then never thinks about it again.

Nothing else is ever that satisfying but sometimes sacrifices must be made.

[231s-prompts]

Wanji's Missing (or as I more affectionately call it, farm)

I was entirely going to just put the idea I had, but then I ended up writing it. It was in my drive for too long for me to not play with it. Find it on ao3 here, otherwise, enjoy!

//

After the events at Guanyin Temple, Wanji, himself, and the rest of the Lan went back to the Cloud Recesses together. A Discussion Conference would have to be planned earlier than usual, but Xichen wouldn’t be participating in it or the planning as Shufu had agreed that it was best for him currently to go into seclusion. Wanji seemed happy enough to pick up some of the work leading the Sect and Shufu would assist him.

Perhaps in hindsight seclusion really wasn’t the best idea.

Sizhui would send him regular letters about recent happenings, and he would read them with his midday meal, between meditation. It was mostly the same thing, sometimes Wei Wuxian would be mentioned, but not too much. It was mostly offhanded, using two sentences to describe the man, at most. “We bumped into Wei-qianbi on our most recent night hunt. He’s doing well and asked about how you were doing,” or sometimes just a “Wei-qianbi is doing well, we heard about him in a village we passed through.” Xichen didn’t feel hurt by it, Wei Wuxian wasn’t bothering Wanji and was doing his own thing now. Wanji couldn’t be hurt by him.

Wanji also sent him letters, mostly apologies for not making time to talk to him through the door. He wrote much more about Wei Wuxian. “Wei Ying is currently traveling just north of Lotus Pier, he sent a painting of a lake with his most recent letter to Sizhui. It was beautiful. I would like to go there with you,” or “Wei Ying wants to stay somewhere north during the winter because the south isn’t exciting enough. Shufu doesn’t want him to come, so Wei Ying might go to Qinghe instead.” Truthfully, Xichen thought that Wanji could write much longer about Wei Wuxian than he did, but just reading Wanji talk about him hurt. This is a man who hurt Wanji, who he took whip lashes for, who he sealed his core for, and he can just… talk so casually about him? Xichen… Xichen was- is- hurt by a-Yao. He killed a-Yao, but that wasn’t- he didn’t actually do anything. Xichen just… killed him. Like that. Like a-Yao did to da-ge and Jin-zhongzu but Xichen was still a good person?

Xichen could draw parallels between himself and Wanji, Wei Wuxian and a-Yao, even Nie Huaisang and the rest of the Jianghu for days. And he did. And he did. Both Wanji and himself saw the best in the other. A-Yao and Wei Wuxian hurt the other and committed actual, legitimate crimes. A-Yao and Wei Wuxian had the other commit crimes, Wanji attacking the elders, and Xichen killing someone. Nie Huaisang and the Jianghu put them in difficult positions.

Everyday was the same for Xichen. Wake up at Mao Shichen, eat morning meal, meditate on his actions and how to improve himself, eat midday meal, read letters if there are any, meditate on improving himself, eat evening meal, go to sleep at Hai Shichen. It was repetitive, there were no surprises, and no one he trusted that he could hurt again or be hurt by.

He had a lot to meditate on. A-Yao’s actions and exactly how he did them. His relationship with a-Yao and how he trusted him so much. If a-Yao ever trusted him. How he felt about Nie Huaisang.

The last part was hard. He still wanted to call Nie Huaisang a-Sang, but what Nie Huaisang was objectively wrong. He lied and manipulated and waved his fan while doing it. The rules said not to associate with evil, but Xichen wanted to associate with Nie Huaisang. Despite everything, they were technically brothers to some degree and they were likely the last of da-ge for each other. Da-ge would be sad to see them like this.

It was a day he had decided that he needed to understand how he felt about Nie Huaisang when someone knocked on his door. He hadn’t known what the weather was like until a voice reached him-

“I’d apologize for interrupting your seclusion, but it’s raining lakes out here and I’d like to come in first. There’s also a huge problem like- currently happening and we need some help.”

Lan Jingyi’s voice, panting from exhaustion. Xichen had known the boy since Sizhui brought him to have dinner with while Wanji was still in seclusion himself. But why was he knocking now? And what was the problem?

“Come in.”

With those words Lan Jingyi opened the door and quickly came in, closing it behind himself. “Oh man, I feel so happy to see you right now. First of all it’s not raining in here,” he said, taking off his outermost layer, a thicker layer for the rain, “which is great. And you’re not panicking yet,” he exchanged a quick bow, “which is also great because between Sizhui and Grandmaster Lan I think I’ve seen enough stress to go gray.”

“I’ll make some tea then, but please tell me what’s going on.” Xichen quickly got the tea out and ready while Jingyi sat himself down at the table, clearly taking the moment to rest and catch his breath.

It was only once the tea was done and Jingyi had nearly drank half his cup when he spoke next. “Hanguang-jun is like- fully missing. He didn’t show up for morning meal, which is totally normal because Sizhui says he sometimes takes it in his- err, your- office, but then one of the outer disciples who’s in charge of making sure he gets the paperwork said that he wasn’t in there, and some kitchen staff said that he wasn’t in the office so they thought that he was going to take it with everyone else-”

Xichen raised his hand, halting the boy. Hanguang-jun is like- fully missing. “Wanji’s missing?”

Jingyi quickly nodded, “I was gonna get to that. Sizhui was kinda the first one to realize he’s missing, so he told me to tell Grandmaster Lan while he checked the Jingshi, except while I’m in the middle of telling Grandmaster Lan everything, Sizhui comes in and is all ‘A-die’s missing,’ which is weird because Sizhui only calls Hanguang-jun ‘A-die’ when he’s stressed or not in public, and probably once in front of Grandmaster Lan ever. So now they both are worried and have people looking everywhere. Like- literally everywhere. Grandmaster Lan apparently looked in the Forbidden Library, had the storehouses checked- the ones where we keep stuff for safe keeping, like the more dangerous Wen weapons and stuff- Sizhui checked the rabbits with me and we both went to the Cold Ponds, but he’s just gone.

“So then the three of us looked in the Jingshi again because Sizhui realized that there could have been a note left, or signs that he was taken, but nope! Aside from Hanguang-jun, only some trinkets, books, paintings, and personal items are missing. So Grandmaster Lan is saying stuff like that he just left of his own choice and how he couldn’t have gotten far and has a bunch of disciples looking for him outside of Cloud Recesses and then he disappeared towards some of the other houses used for seclusion and I thought he was coming to tell you, but then he came back and just said that he didn’t find him and didn’t mention you, so I said that I was checking the office again for any more signs, but actually just found the house you are supposed to be in seclusion, here, and decided you needed to be told.”

Jingyi took a deep breath.

“I will obviously accept any punishment you feel fit, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten and Hanguang-jun is your brother.”

That… was a lot to take in. It certainly sounded like Wanji had decided to up and leave. But why? Nothing in any of the letters he’d sent seemed to point to anything weird happening to him. Or anything being wrong. Perhaps… perhaps Wei Wuxian had something to do with it.

“Go check the Jingshi for the most recent letter you can find that Wei Wuxian sent him. I need to get properly dressed, and will meet you in the office.”

Jingyi must have just noticed that Xichen was still in his sleep clothes, as he quickly stood, bowed, and rushed out, barely remembering his rain layer.

//

A year and a half. Efforts to find Wanji hadn’t decreased in that time, but he was very well gone. No one had heard from him, even Nie Huaisang- which was a complicated conversation that included lots of crying on both sides, a reconciliation, and a difficult, though thorough, explanation of Wanji’s disappearance. There was one other piece of news, that was only very worrying, and that was that no one knew exactly where Wei Wuxian was. Jiang Wanyin, Jiang-zhongzu, had seen him a month before Wanji disappeared, but nothing else. He had just been traveling through to get to Qinghe. The Juniors had stopped bumping into him and his donkey, a-Sang said that he never came to visit during the winter, and even Wen Ning said that he hadn’t heard anything from him, not even the slightest pull through resentful energy.

To get a break from the sudden work thrust upon himself, since he had to now do all the work his brother had been doing- really, how he managed so much was unknown to Xichen- and still follow possible leads. Another member of the inner members had been put in charge of running night hunts, as Wanji had still been in charge of them, and the Juniors were put in charge of caring for the rabbits -some of whom had disappeared, likely with Wanji- and even the other tasks Wanji was responsible for as heir were pushed to Sizhui, though Uncle was insistent on helping.

Xichen had his hands full with Sect Leader paperwork and decisions, limiting the amount of power the Elders had- apparently Wanji was insistent on doing this, for no apparent reason- and making sure the Sect didn’t fall to chaos. And this was just the in-Sect business. Making sure the image of the Lan didn’t fall in the eyes of the common people, or the other Sects was paramount. Wanji’s constant nighthunting for the past few years had greatly benefitted them, but it had really just created a standard for the rest of the Sect.

So the sudden stress, from previously being secluded in one of the seclusion houses and meditating to now being the face of the Sect again, culminated in Xichen taking a night hunt himself. He had taken a few short ones since Wanji disappeared and he was put back in his role as Sect Leader and they helped quite a bit, so he didn’t worry about taking a slightly longer one. This one was from one of the outer towns, who lived in a valley between a large lake south of Caiyi, and the great shore. Really, it should be Jiang territory with how far south it is, but Jiang Wanyin had never asked about it and the town itself never asked for much.

They typically didn’t ask for aid that often, since they were mostly just a large community that collectively farmed and lived together. They were large enough that workers would come during the growing season to help out, and when the harvest came around, their tourism would boom, but overall, they only needed a Sect to oversee them to help with their trade to Lotus Pier and Caiyi.

This time however, they had sent word about a particularly strong Gui haunting their docks, making them unable to send any trade across the lake to the small village on the other side, or any of the houses that were nearby. So Xichen went by himself, since it didn’t seem violent or feral, just incredibly protective of the docks.

The trip wasn’t difficult, just long. It was long enough that Xichen’s spiritual energy was running low when he finally landed near the town. Sheathing Shuoyue, it took a quarter incense time to get to the town and for the people to recognize him.

Running towards him and bowing, the man who ran the larger of the two taverns looked apologetic. “Ah, Lan-zhongzu, we really must apologize, but you’ve come for nothing!”

Xichen startled. “Nothing?”

In the letter the town had sent, the problem seemed quite major, since the village was largely dependent on the rich teas and materials from the town.

“Yes, the kind daozhangs helped her out! Why, it just took them an incense’s time to sort it out with her, and the issue was resolved!” The townsperson looked relieved at that, but obviously still felt bad for Xichen.

“And when was this?” Xichen asked, vaguely airily.

The man thought, putting his hand on his chin. “Ah, about a week ago? We had just sent the letter when they came in. They usually come to help around with repairs and to help the old man near the water tend to his lotus flowers every few weeks, but this time they helped everyone! We didn’t even know they could!”

The nearby women that were carrying laundry stopped by them. “Oh yes, those handsome men do help out much more than they need to, Cheng Song (pine tree) didn’t even need to ask, Hei-daozhang just saw them and asked to help! And then Lan-daozhang just followed like he usually does!”

Another one nodded, joining in, “And they’re so talented! They just asked about the house -oh this was about a year and a half ago now-, bought some seeds- Lan-daozhang is truly so rich- and the next time we saw them, they had mentioned that it was all fixed up!”

“Ah, and the kids love them,” the third chimed in, “the two of them spend time teaching the kids how to read and write, and Hei-daozhang shows us how to organize our planting to grow the most produce, and when you’re lucky Lan-daozhang will ask Hei-daozhang to show Fang Xiaofan (little ordinary) how to play the dizi some more- and then when they start to finish up, Hei-daozhang will needle Lan-daozhang to play with him, Lan-daozhang plays the qin, and they play such a pretty duet!” The other two women nod furiously.

“Yes! You would never think that two men would be so in tune with each other, but it really is magical!”

“Song Meili (beautiful and graceful)!” The first woman chided the second woman, “They are two men that live in a house together, farm together, and have traveled all over the place with each other! Of course they’re in tune with each other! And Wan Liu (the willow)! Don’t confuse Lan-zhongzu!” She turned towards Xichen, “They come every few days to take the kids in the afternoon to the great shore to teach them all sorts of things, reading and writing obviously, but also archery and mathematics. They were going to show them how to hunt, but the men wanted to!” The women laughed to each other, and bowed, taking their laundry wherever they were going.

Two men, one in white and one in black, came to town about a year and a half ago, bought a house and occasionally come to help the town and teach the children some of the noble arts, and play duets together. A dizi and a qin. The man in black helps tend lotus flowers.

There’s no way that they’ve been here this whole time. There’s no way that Wanji and Wei Wuxian have been in this little town, that regularly traded with Lotus Pier and Caiyi, unnoticed for a year and a half.

Xichen turned to the tavern owner. “Does Lan-daozhang happen to bear any resemblance to Hanguang-jun?” Xichen knew his face was pale. He was tired from the paperwork, tired from the sword flight here, tired from his worldview from turning. Most importantly, he was tired from missing his brother.

“Hanguang-jun? I suppose so, but doesn’t Hanguang-jun dress… oh, Hanguang-jun is your brother, right? You do look rather similar to Lan-daozhang he’s just… well I suppose that he looks more relaxed than you. And Lan-daozhang wears much rougher clothing than you do, Hei-daozhang manages to get the white much more green and brown than yours could probably handle…” Wanji… gets muddy? Willingly? Wanji, who as a three year old, would refuse to let the bottoms of his hems touch the ground in case they got dirty? Who cried himself to sleep after spilling water on himself?

Xichen could feel himself frowning. “And where is their house?”

“Just south of here, if you walk around the lake you should be able to see the clearing, it’s difficult to see from a boat, and they don’t have a dock, here I’ll show you.” He walked for an incense time, pointing out people the duo had helped, along with main businesses and the best inn. Eventually though, they came to the docks overlooking the lake. “Over there,” he pointed, “you can’t see them, but there’s two docks that the village uses, since they’re a bit more in-land, they don’t do much on the water.” He pointed slightly left, “and between us and them, there are two more docks, both of them are abandoned. Between those two docks, there’s a large patch of lotus flowers growing, and their boat should be tipped over on land nearby. Then you’ll see the clearing with their house. I wouldn’t suggest going to find it now though, it’s easily a quarter day’s walk to their house… though you can fly on your sword… hmm.”

“Thank you, I’ll stay here the night and find them in the morning then.” The man looked delighted, and they bowed, departing from each other.

//

Getting a room for the night was simple and quick -despite planting season being well underway, the ground had yet to fully thaw and some snow still lingered so the workers who would come to help during the growing season hadn’t yet fully arrived. Also, the town was not particularly warm recently, so there were no tourists.

Brushing his hair out to prepare to go to bed, Xichen took the moment to reflect on the events of the day. They seemed familiar, until Xichen took out the letters Wanji had written him just before he disappeared. The last one, “Wei Ying wants to stay somewhere north during the winter because the south isn’t exciting enough. Shufu doesn’t want him to come, so Wei Ying might go to Qinghe instead.” The one before, “Wei Ying is currently traveling just north of Lotus Pier, he sent a painting of a lake with his most recent letter to Sizhui. It was beautiful. I would like to go there with you.” Wei Wuxian had traveled north of where he had been previously, through Lotus Pier, to get to Qinghe. This lake was north of Lotus Pier, but a bit east. Wei Wuxian wanders, it's not improbable that he got off track. He saw the lake, painted it for Sizhui, and eventually bought a house and started a farm. Well, Wanji bought a house. But Wanji was also happy here. And Wanji didn’t write, to Uncle or to Xichen. Or even to Sizhui.

Wei Wuxian hurt Wanji though. That was unforgivable, as Wanji’s brother. His big brother. Xichen practically raised him, since Uncle was often busy with Sect matters. Why- How could Wanji do that?

But come morning, the answers will be revealed.

//

Xichen woke up as he usually did, at Mao Shichen, quickly getting ready for the day and eating a brief morning meal. His spiritual reserves had recovered, so he found himself packing up and pulling out Shuoyue. The tavern owner’s instructions were simple, but easy to follow, and he soon found the lotus flowers just halfway past Si Shichen.

He landed on the ground efficiently, dusting himself off before he trekked through some tall grass, soon getting to the clearing. A large house was in the middle, a field of sprouting flowers between him and the house. The house itself was expansive, though the roof was clearly mismatched. Laundry was hanging in the sun, and a small shed sat near a small farm that didn’t yet bear plants. Plant pots were sitting on the stairs leading up to the house, and he could tell that the stone pathway had been recently weeded. A larger shed sat near the far edge of the clearing, much larger than the one that must hold tools. While pieces of wood leaned against the smaller one, scraps of random materials were sloppily piled on top of each other outside the larger shed.

As he walked closer, a small table made itself clear in the middle of the small flowers. A voice soon followed, though it seemed to be on the other side of the house. As he approached, Wei Wuxian’s recognizable laugh made itself clear. Walking faster, and a wide curve around the house, he came across a rather… soft scene.

Wanji was pouring tea on a bench outside their house, while Wei Wuxian had evidently tumbled backwards, holding a rabbit above himself. Wanji was smiling, watching as Wei Wuxian pulled the rabbit to his chest and gently rubbed between its ears.

Their peace didn’t stay, as Wanji noticed Xichen almost immediately, his smile fading as he quickly stood.

Wei Wuxian quickly noticed and followed, “Zhan- oh, Lan-zhongzu.” he instantly looked uncomfortable. Wanji noticed, and signaled for him to go into the house. Wanji himself quickly lead Xichen back to the field of flowers, and they sat themselves down at the table.

The table of which, was poorly constructed, but did have intricate carvings on it.

Wanji… Wanji looked a little disgruntled, but was the first to speak.

“Wei Ying made this table. He wanted to surprise me for my birthday. I was just happy he remembered it. It’s broken five times since he built it, but he will not let me help fix it, because he wants it to be a gift, to me, that’s entirely from him.”

“Wanji…”

“Wei Ying and I spoke when I came. He wasn’t expecting me, but once we had time to settle down, we spoke. It took time, but he told me what you said to him.” Wanji looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since before Guanyin Temple. “I love him very much, and I have for a very long time. I understand why you said what you did, but it hurt when I found out. And it still does.” He looked away again.

Tears grew from Xichen’s eyes, prickling as his vision blurred. “Wanji… I’m sorry.”

Wanji’s gaze went to his hands. “Then please apologize to Wei Ying. And stop assuming that he will hurt me. He worries about that enough.”

“...I will.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve missed you, Wanji.”

Wanji froze, before he looked up at Xichen again, drawing his hands closer to Xichen’s. “And I, you.”

“The town’s people told me about what the two of you have been up to. Very enthusiastically.”

“Mn.” Wanji smiled, just the smallest bit.

“You’ve been doing good here. And you seem happier.”

“Mn. …I do not know if I want to return to the Sect. I have not left in any official capacity, but…” Xichen reached for his hands, resting his on top of Wanji’s.

“You do not want to, but you want to be distanced?” Wanji nodded. “The Elders won’t get any say over it, I can help on the official side.”

“Thank you.”

Quickly mapping out a plan, Xichen continued. “And… I’ll have to talk to you both about it, but you can likely still help out, if you want. We can send younger disciples to help during the harvest, so they can gain experience and have time away from the Sect. Jingyi and Sizhui’s group could have benefitted from the experience.”

“We could use the help, we plan to have more growing this year… Wei Ying would be happy for the company.” He glanced at the house. “But we should still ask.”

A comfortable silence rested upon the two, before Xichen broke it.

“Wanji… can I ask why you haven’t sent any letters? Everyone has been looking for the two of you.” His brother looked away again, his hands tensing for a moment before relaxing again.

“Mn, had asked Sizhui about how he would feel if I went to see Wei Ying. Sizhui knew that Wei Ying was getting closer before he passed for Qinghe. Sizhui had mentioned how easy it would be to see Wei Ying.” Wanji had very clearly met his maximum amount of words used for the day now, and seemed uncomfortable with saying more.

Thinking back, Sizhui had seemed to… accept that his… parents had disappeared together. He became complacent with the idea. He no longer looked as fervently for them, but still would spend extra time on his night hunts to look in the nearby area. “So Sizhui knew that the two of you would be together. Knowing him, he probably expected for us adults to catch onto that. Uncle had thought that Wuxian had kidnapped you, but we haven’t spoken on… any of this for a while now.”

Another peaceful silence covered them, but it seemed easier now. Xichen could easily deduce that by not sending a letter, the duo weren’t drawing more attention to themselves, and perhaps dealing with their first planting season and their first winters had taken up more energy than they had expected. During the silence, rabbits started to pop up, coming to take their pets and attention.

Eventually, midday came around, and Wanji silently led him to the house, where the entry room was in disarray. A few silent words in another room, and the two came out, hand in hand.

“Welcome to our humble abode, Lan-zhongzu. Lan Zhan mentioned the idea for disciples to help out during the harvest, and the town could certainly use the help. Old Man Fang’s back has been getting worse, so the lotus flowers will need help getting harvested.” Wanji visibly squeezed his hand, glancing at him meaningfully. “...And… we could use some help, probably.”

“Excellent.”

//

The lunch that passed was peaceful, Wuxian mostly spending the time gradually gaining more confidence and telling him more about the town as time went on. The brothers stayed quiet, but Wuxian took it in stride. He was collecting the plates and talking about their plans for their farm when they were finished. Xichen then found himself helping plant the first seeds, the plants that will take the longest to grow. Wuxian spoke about how he was working on making talismans that would let them grow year-round, mostly to help the town make more produce and avoid a surprise food shortage during the long winter. He had already developed talismans that help keep food good for longer, and he hoped to make ones that would alter the soil to help grow more variety.

Wuxian clearly didn’t realize how much this would impact the rest of everywhere else, and Wanji also clearly understood this when he shared a look with Xichen.

Apparently Wuxian had a head start on the talismans due to him trying to grow potatoes in the Burial Mounds.

Which, was actually quite depressing.

When they finished, Xichen was invited for dinner, and then invited to stay in a guest room for the night.

When he woke up at Mao Shichen, Wanji was already making tea.

He would leave soon after Wuxian appeared and everything was sorted out, taking Shuoyue and arriving back at Cloud Recesses just after curfew. The first thing he did was wake Sizhui and tell him where his parents were.

When he wakes up the next morning, a whole two incense times late, Sizhui is gone and Jingyi is panicking again.

But come fall, and the younger disciples are leaving to help Wei-gongzi and Hanguang-jun harvest their crops, and help the town harvest theirs, and when they come back, a few days before the first snowfall, they will tell Xichen and the rest of the Sect and the youngest disciples about the tasty lotus seeds and the rabbits that are just like the ones on the back hills and the new talismans that Wuxian has finished. But mostly, they will bring gossip like little children, and they will bring peace to the cultivation world, because Wanji and Wuxian are safe and sound.

Really though, if there’s any real benefit that Xichen will get from this, is the regular letters he gets from his brother, interspersed with bits from Wuxian, and the beautiful pressed lotus flowers.

[soapy-soartp]

Day 5 of @whumperless-whump-event

Im so sorry Lan Zhan but these prompts just fit you

Day: 5 - STEALING THE BREATH FROM MY LUNGS (GIVE IT BACK)

Prompt: Wheezing / Light-headed / "I'll count, you just breathe."

Fandom: MDZS

Characters: Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Backround/Mentioned: Lan Sizhui and Wei Wuxian

“Wangji…” Lan Xichen starts, trying to reason with his younger brother.

Who was once again kneeling by a closed door, desperately waiting for it to open once again for the people inside to let him in.

Even all these years it’s still a painful sight to see, and even more painful to remember. Lan Wangji’s grief and desperation, his own grief and sadness, all far too overwhelming for two young children. But no one around could- no, would help them. The only one who was willing and happy to guide them was gone.

“...” As expected he got silence in return, but he can tell now that his brother’s word may fail him, his eyes don’t.

Those eyes are glassy and far away. So he does what he can as he holds over the umbrella he had over them both.

“…Let’s go inside, hm?” He tries to coax, it was raining instead of snowing but that's to be expected in Lotus pier, where the weather was much warmer than that of Gusu.

“Wangji… They’ll be ok…” He tries to reassure but it falls on seemingly deaf ears.

He can't even imagine what's going through his didi’s head right now, not only was his husband hurt, he couldn't even see him and the scene was far too similar to the one from their childhood.

–

It all happened so fast. At least that’s what was reported, Wei Ying and A-Yuan got hurt.

And he wasn’t there to help them.

“Move! get out the way!”

“I'm sorry, Hanguang Jun but you can't enter while the Jiang healers are in there…”

“They’ll be fine. He’s survived worse and you’ve both raised a tough kid.”

The long engraved need to follow the rules, to keep his composure wars with the anxiety, fear, and dread he feels at this moment.

So he kneels, out in the harsh rain of lotus pier, slightly off to the side from the Jiang sect's healing ward. His brother tries to coax him out of the rain, but he can't hear very well, actually he can’t do anything much more than fixate on the fate of those in the medical ward.

It’s getting harder to think, to breathe. He suddenly feels cold and lightheaded… and his vision starts to swim with dark spots.

Then someone’s (his brother?) is in front of him and there’s hands gripping at his shoulders.

“-ngji?...Snap…it- Breathe!” Is being yelled at him.

Breathe…? Isn’t he breathing? He has to be, why wouldn’t he be… Oh.

He isn’t breathing.

He tries but all he can manage is a wheezing breath, he blinks and his sight fogs over with tears.

“G-ge…?” He manages while struggling for breath.

“Wangji, Didi, it’s alright, you’re alright. Just breathe, ok? Just-” Was the frantic response, he feels himself shift and soon he’s leaning against his brother.

“C-can’t…” He gasps for breath but it ends in a choked wheeze.

“Ah, follow my breathing, hm?”

He feels his brother’s chest rise with a steady breath in and fall with one out. He tries to follow through but his attempts end in staggering wheezes. He feels more dark spots dance in his vision and he, embarrassingly slumps and clings to his brother.

“G-ge…g-ge, can’t. W-wei Yi- Shinz- Shu-” A gasps interrupts his desperate and panicked babbling then he continues on again.

He feels the tears fall as he calls out to the people who he cares for the most.

“Shh… A-zhan, A-zhan. Just breathe.” His brother states firmly, taking his wrists in a firm hold and pulling him in closer to the solid embrace, “I’ll count, just breathe.”

“In for One… Two… Three…” His brother starts, and he tries another breath in.

It was still hard but the solid presence helps, the calming voice and the counting helps. Thankfully after a few rounds of the breathing exercise, his own breathe steadies. But that doesn’t do much for the emotional exhaustion and anxiety he still felt, so he allows himself a moment of vulnerability.

He openly weeps in his brother’s arms, concern for his husband and their child too great to bear. Once he’s truly exhausted himself he slumps fully in the solid hold.

Now they were both soaked and kneeling in a Jiang sect courtyard. He lets out a quiet hum, an apology and thanks to his brother.

[tavina-writes]

For Mid-Autumn, how about Nie Huaisang celebrating head canons. Does he make mooncakes? Or buy them? How does he spend time with? Where does he go to view the moon? Anything like that, idk, those were just the first questions that sprang to my mind.

:DDD Happy Mid Autumn! ------- When he had been a boy, their family had filled an entire courtyard and they'd discussed the moon together on a night much like this one. Tonight, it is not quite the same, but despite the situation at Guanyin Temple earlier that autumn, Nie Huaisang can't quite find it in himself to be sad. 

He'd done what he set out to do, and he had escaped largely unscathed from the proceedings. He can stand to be at least a little self satisfied, surely. The outer courtyard in the Unclean Realm is boisterous with the sound of junior disciples debating the merits of one type of mooncake versus another. 

He does not really care about this line of conversation because it reminds him too much of when Xichen-ge (Lan Xichen) and Da-ge would debate the merits of mixed nut mooncakes while holding up the proceedings (and perhaps drunkenly compose a poem or too) but the chattering junior disciples distract him from the matters that he will eventually have to attend to, so he marks it down as good enough. 

(The accounts, and what a mess they are currently in now that he has to peel apart his and the sect's expenditures depending on what exactly all his incorrectly labeled items had been, and what San-ge had done to them, and what he had done to them in response to make them worse, are tomorrow's problem. He will leave them aside for tonight, as he had done for a month's worth of nights, because the day where he'd actually finish solving this problem has still not yet arrived.) 

For the moment at least, the sound of laughter washes over him as he leans against the railing, looking, not up at the full moon as pale as a bowl of steamed eggs, but at the juniors in the courtyard, faces red in the light of the lanterns and the autumn chill. 

He will have to consider this enough. 

[little-meowyao]

Hello, MDZS fan! Can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from MDZS? And why you loved them? Also, your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Thanks 🤩

Jin Guangyao

He's just. My blorbo. He's so amazing and so interesting and you can fit him in SO MANY ROLES. He's so versatile and he's so so complicated as a person. Going a bit into headcanon realm here but I like the idea that despite being incredibly ruthless when situations ask for it, JGY is also deeply empathetic (and shameless link to a fic sorta about this)

Everything he does has such deep implications for the MDZS society and his upbringing and is just. Wow

2. Lan Xichen

This guy is just so afjshkhagjj. Insane. I love his daddy issues and how they influence him (I love how he basically becomes QHJ at the end. Very sad but thematically aproppriate I think). He hurts so pretty. He's my darling. My little punching bag. I love his characteristic of not taking conclusions without having the whole story (and how that colors post-canon him because he CAN'T have the whole story anymore ☹️) and how that contrasts with killing JGY because of a rumor (metaphorically). MXTX says "I know a guy that is so well-adjusted" and takes you to LXC

3. Su Minshan

Give it up for the most normal guy in the entirety of MDZS! I just [INCOHERENT SCREAMING] You have no idea how much I adore this man. He's a cool guy. He's a cringe loserboy. He dies because he uses too much power.

I like the paralel with JGY and how neither, at end, will ever be more than their origin (son of a whore/lan traitor). I love how deeply resentful he can be and how his loyalty is so ridiculously easy to win but at the same time, in the canon situation, only JGY would be capable of that

He's doggishly loyal and that appeals to me in a atomic level because I'm like that too. A man like Minshan would fix me actually

4. Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

I know you asked for top 5 but I CANNOT separate these two on my mind

I love how the eye situation paralels chengxian. I love how utterly tragic they are

I love how XXC takes SL's hurt-fueled "I never want to see you again" at face value. I love how utterly self-sacrificial he is. I love how SL spends the rest of his life looking for him. They are so utterly tragic and you cannot convince me they aren't soulmates

(I love how the entire eye situation comes about because SL was mildly repulsed about being touched by XY, as he is with every because of his mysophobia, and XY took that as an insult)

I adore them

5. Nie Mingjue

I don't know what to say about him but he appeals to me deeply. I love how he's dying and he knows he's dying. I love how the conflict with JGY stems from "It would kill me" not being a valid excuse not to do something on his mind. I like how rigid he is in his moral code. The issue with NMJ is precisely that he's NOT a hypocrite.

The man that he is. I love how he flips on JGY and never flips back. I love that he perceives killing JGY as saving him from himself. I love how he is bound by duty in his relationship with LXC, and unlike JGY, unwilling to pretend they can have something they can't.

Da-ge the man you are

As for favourite moments:

JGY's death

I love him taking the last shred of agency he can and also (attemping) to take the culpability of his death from LXC's hand

2. SMS's death

He dies because he uses too much power :( and he dies for JGY

3. The Nightless City scene

I adore how much that says about JGY's relationship with WRH. Ruoyaos my beloveds.

4. JGY giving LXC back the jade token

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.

5. The teacup scene

I love how LXC can be so subtle in the way he conducts a situation but he KNOWS how to do it! It's like a slap to the face to the people that were wiping their fingers

[hannigramislife]

#4 Scene of my Random Mdzs Fanfiction

Prompt: What if 3zun reincarnated in modern au?

Scene: Lan Xichen remembers the past, and tears both Nmj and Jgy a new one.

Walking towards Nie Mingjue’s office, Jin Guangyao had a sinking feeling of dread settled in his gut, and it was growing by the second. He hadn’t heard from Lan Xichen in over a week, all his texts and calls having gone unanswered, which was unusual, as Lan Xichen took only a couple of minutes to reply. Jin Guangyao thought he had been grateful for the opportunity to have Lan Xichen back in his life, but now that he didn’t wake up to good morning texts, and didn’t receive random pictures during the day with Lan Xichen’s humorous captions, Jin Guangyao realized he hadn’t appreciated them enough. Only a week, and he felt Lan Xichen’s absence like a limb. If something had happened to him, Jin Guangyao would never forgive himself.

Going to Nie Mingjue for help had been something of a last resort; Jin Guangyao didn’t trust the man, wouldn’t turn his back on him if the gang leader had both his arms broken and tied behind his back. He was much more volatile than Jin Guangyao remembered him to be, and he could no longer be trusted not to go too fucking far. Lan Xichen was a bleeding heart with a strong sense of justice; how long until he got in Nie Mingjue’s way. How sure could Jin Guangyao be that this Nie Mingjue wouldn’t harm him?

If Nie Mingjue had something to do with his disappearance, Jin Guangyao would kill him, no questions asked. Even if it was the last thing he did in this life, he’d kill him.

If not, then he’d made the right choice in going to him, and if Jin Guangyao had to beg Nie Mingjue on his knees to help him find Lan Xichen, then so be it.

Lan Xichen was worth it. He had always been worth it.

Once he neared the man’s office, Jin Guangyao heard faint voices coming from the small room, its door ajar. Curious and immediately on edge, he made his steps as light as possible, pressing close to the wall.

“…alm down for fuck’s sake, so we can tal-“

“Calm down?!”

Jin Guangyao almost felt his heart stop at hearing Lan Xichen’s enraged voice echo through the room.

“You want me to calm down, da-ge? You want to talk to me now, don’t you? Well, what shall we talk about first? Wanna talk to me about what the Jins are doing? Want to talk to me about how I had to wait for hours to talk to you 3 days ago because you were busy bleeding out in a hospital bed? Or, my personal favorite; when were you going to tell me I was regularly having coffee with the man who killed you, hm?”

Jin Guangyao felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on him. His heart thumped wildly in his chest as his mind processed the words Lan Xichen had screamed. Too many emotions whirled inside him for him to make sense of them all; shock, joy, sadness, fear, anger, regret— and stronger than them all, desperation.

Desperation to prove to Lan Xichen that he wasn’t the same person, that he wanted nothing more than to be a man that could stand by Lan Xichen’s side proudly. He wanted to beg for a second chance, an opportunity to be better. Other people could do it easily, why couldn’t Jin Guangyao?

It took a moment for Jin Guangyao to realize that Nie Mingjue had gone suspiciously quiet.

He only had time to blink, and lean back slightly, before the door was flung open, and Jin Guangyao found himself facing a very tall, very intimidating, very shirtless-while-wrapped-up-in-bandages Nie Mingjue.

“It seems this conversation is no longer private.” He said as he stared down at Jin Guangyao, crossing his arms in disapproval, shifting the suit jacket he had thrown over his shoulder.

No. Bad brain. Not the time.

Jin Guangyao swallowed painfully, keeping his eyes on Nie Mingjue, if only so he didn’t have to face Lan Xichen. “For a private conversation, you sure are loud. And the door is open.”

The gang leader snorted, before pulling Jin Guangyao in.

Jin Guangyao stumbled in as Nie Mingjue closed the door firmly; with his only exit closed, Jin Guangyao had little to do but face his friend, his former sworn brother. Hesitantly, he locked gazes with Lan Xichen, and was taken aback by the emotions he saw in them. The shock he had anticipated, once Lan Xichen remembered, the heartbroken pain, too, because Lan Xichen had always been so honest in his feelings, but the anger- the anger was new.

Lan Xichen was facing them both, eyes shifting from Jin Guangyao’s curled in figure, to Nie Mingjue standing tall behind him.

Lan Xichen was indeed angry. More than that, he was furious.

“Er-ge,” Jin Guangyao started, for once unable to find the right words to say.

Apparently, that wasn’t important, as Lan Xichen wasn’t planning to let him talk. “Was it fun?” The man cut him off, voice shaking from a kind of emotion he had never seen in him. “Tell me, was it fun? Leading me around by the nose again, pretending to be my friend?”

Jin Guangyao wished Lan Xichen had just punched him instead; it would have hurt less.

“No, no, Er-ge, it wasn’t like that—“

“Was it amusing for you, seeing me fall for the same act twice? What was your plan this time, A-Yao, were you waiting for my memories to return, or was a nice, dramatic reveal what you had planned?”

There was a time Jin Guangyao had seen, and caused, many lives to be destroyed, many suffering in people, even those who had been closest to him, and he’d done so without so much as batting an eyelash. And yet, Lan Xichen’s cruel words were enough to make him want to sob— and Jin Guangyao had heard his fair share of cruel words.

“I wouldn’t— I woudn’t do that to you, Er-ge. I would never hurt you like that.” Jin Guangyao said desperately, wanting Lan Xichen to believe that, if nothing else.

“You wouldn’t do what, Jin Guangyao. Wouldn’t do exactly what you did last time?” Lan Xichen was trembling with badly concealed rage, though he never raised his voice.

Jin Guangyao’s mouth clamped up, his words failing him. Lan Xichen wasn’t listening, he didn’t look like he planned to listen anytime soon, and there was nothing Jin Guangyao could say that wouldn’t come off as fake, manipulative.

In their few weeks of ignorant bliss they’d shared together, Jin Guangyao had forgotten what the events in Guanyin temple had reduced him to in the eyes of his Er-ge. Every word was now open to doubt and suspicion, every smile was fake and planned, every touch meant to draw out trust.

Lan Xichen had no naivety left to give Jin Guangyao, this time.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. Besides him, Nie Mingjue tensed, and Jin Guangyao didn’t know if that was a good sign or not. “I’m sorry, Er-ge.”

Lan Xichen blinked in disbelief, before letting out a slight scoff; another thing Jin Guangyao had never seen him do. He had the uncomfortable realization that, like Nie Mingjue, like himself, this Lan Xichen was also different.

“You’re sorry,” Lan Xichen repeated, voice hard as steel. “Isn’t that a bit too little, too late, A-Yao? A couple of centuries, maybe? What am I supposed to forgive you for? You didn’t hurt me, after all. No, that’s the one line you wouldn’t cross.”

Lan Xichen was, indeed, much different. His words cut deeper than his sword ever did. It had been foolish to hold onto a man that hadn’t existed in centuries.

Or maybe, his mind whispered, this is the same Lan Xichen, and that’s just what he would have always thought about you, had he known the truth.

Sometimes, A-Yao didn’t like his own mind.

"That's not what I'm talking about," Jin Guangyao said, struggling to keep his voice even. "I meant this life, our friendship. I didn't mean to hurt you by getting close to you. I assumed you would not remember."

Lan Xichen took a deep breath. "How is it," he said, "that the only way you can be close to me is when you keep me blind?"

[aky-chaosgremlin]

I originally wrote this as a twitter thread, and I wanted to back it up here so I can rewrite it soon! hehe

Lan zhan (10) watches his Huan-ge (16) playing Sims 4. His two characters, Xichen and Mingjue, are in love! They kiss wiggle around in bed a little. The day Xichen is pregnant! That is how lz learns that kisses make babies.The next day at school wei ying kisses his cheek. 

Lz goes home bawling.

lz: im sorry uncle, a-zhan has shamed our family name 😭 you have raised a *whore*

lz, packing his bags, recalling uncle telling ge-ge off for sleeping around: uncle will throw me out, i KNOW it. 

lz will make wy take responsibility and raise the baby 😤 

Uncle: a-zhan you are not pregnant

lz: UNCLE IS REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY BABY 

Lwj decides that he’s going to run away. He grabs his bag with all the essentials— tuzi, an extra pair of shorts, a water bottle and a granola bar— and runs down the street to wei yings house, still sniffling. 

Cangse ayi takes one look at him and sends him to play in the yard 

Lz drops his bag and runs outside, careful not to trip bc falling would hurt the baby. 

wy has somehow climbed on top of the playhouse and is roaring and banging on the roof. "all you puny humans will die! mwahahahaha!”

lz can’t believe wy is the dad, this baby will be a mess! 

wy sees lz standing at the base of the play structure and nearly topples over in his excitement.

wy: lz! come up here and help me destroy the humans!

lz: i cannot wy. the days of childhood are behind me now. 

wy: 😲 what?! lan zhaan nooo

lz: wy please come down. we must talk. 

wy scrambles down and they settle on the swingset for their talk.

lz: wei yang. i am pregnant

wy: 😲

lz: and you are the father

wy: *gasp* LAN ZHAN! 

lz really hopes wy won’t hate him now. His worries are eased when wy shouts, “dont worry lan zhan! am here!” 

lz is so relieved! He starts tearing up again.

lz: wei ying, I ran away from home. Uncle does not bless our union. he has shunned our baby!

wy, bless him, looks just as offended.

wy: your uncle is a meanie! It’s a good thing you ran away lz. I have a house for us right here! 

wy proposes to lz right then and there with a keyring he found in the sand, and promises they’d get married the very next day. 

“we need witnesses for a wedding lz. and if your uncle won’t help us then a-sang and a-cheng will help us at school! Our wedding will be the bestest!” 

wy works very hard to make his pregnant wife comfortable in their little house. He sneaks into his meimei’s room and steals her cooking utensils, and drags a beanbag from his own room to make lz a bed.

while wy works lz tells baby about its baba: "he’s a silly, but wy is good” 

a while later, cangse ayi comes out to offer them snacks. She calls up the boys in the play structure and all she can see is two heads popping out the window.

wy: hi mama! Welcome to our house! Lz is my wife and we’re having a baby! 

lz is very worried about what cangse ayi would say. Would wy’s family deny their baby too?

cssr: how lovely! you must be new to the neighbourhood. How nice to have such a young family next door. I brought you a welcome present.

she ruffles wy’s hair and tells them to have fun. 

lz is so relieved and so sad! how come his family won’t accept him 😭 uncle is so mean! perhaps a-huan would be more supportive. he will have to speak with him later.

later happens much sooner than expected when Uncle sends huan-ge to bring a-zhan back home… 

lh: a-zhan uncle said you ran away? what happened?

lz: gege, a-zhan is pregnant with wei sings baby and uncle won’t accept us 😭

lh: ...

lh: … 

lh: 😈

lh: oh my a-zhan how could this be?! what will you do now?! having a baby is so easy feat! 

lh: did you know you can never eat ice cream every again

lz: *sobbing*

lh: how did this even happy a-zhan?

lz: wei yimg kissed me

lh: oh no a kiss you say? its definitely twins. you’d better stat here a-zhan, uncle would never let this slide. 

lan huan going home that day: a-zhan refuses to come home! He looks like he’s run away for real… You must have hurt him deeply uncle what did you do?!

uncle:… w h a t? what did i do?!?! this boy 🙄 

Wy manages to calm lz down. “you can have all the ice cream after the baby is born lan zhan!” 

ice cream is lz's favouritest. How will he live without ice cream 😭

lz is calmer but still sniffling when jiang cheng climbs over the shared fence between his and wy’s yard to play 

jc, scoffing: why are you crying that’s so lame. You’re such a baby a-zhan

lz: *cries harder at mention of baby*

wy: HEY DONT BE MEAN TO MY WIFE DONT YOU KNOW HES PREGNANT AND HORMONAL

jc, whacking wy: you’re so stupid he’s not pregnant

wy: he is! he said so and lz never lies 

wy and jc proceed to tussle, getting covered in sand.

lz watching wy defend him: 🥺 maybe he will be a wonderful spouse after all!

yanli- jie eventually shows up and wrenches jc off of wy. Lz likes her very much for saving his husband. She’s much nicer than her dumb brother. 

when yanli hears of lan zhan’s predicament she fights down a smile and replies very seriously. “oh my a-zhan you’ve been through an ordeal indeed. Don’t worry, jiejie will support you. a-ying you must invite me to the baby shower okay?”

She leaves promising to bring presents… 

jyl secretly texting lh: your didi is so cute 🥰 and so very good at playing his role

lh, snickering to himself: indeed he is… will you help me set up a wedding for them? perhaps tonight?

jyl, delighted: of course! I will prepare the dolls! 

about an hour later, yanli and a-huan come back to wy’s yard.

wy has left his bride resting at home— he’s can’t exert himself, its bad for the baby!— and gone “out” with jc to “work” plucking dandelions

lz swooning on the beanbag like a maiden, waiting for wy’s return 

jyl: boys! come quick come quick its time to get married!

wy: but jiejie we’re getting married tomorrow!

lh: no time for that you must get married *now*

lz: gene but why?

lh: dont you know its illegal to have a baby without being married a-zhan? 

lz: 😰

lh: you must get married quickly or the cops will come take your babies away!

lz, panicking: my and wy’s babies 😖😭🥺

lz: but what about witnesses and uncle 

jyl: dont worry a-zhan! your uncle agreed to be there! So will all of our parents

lz: uncle approves? 

lan huan convinces him that of course, after cangse ayi explained convinced him, how could he not!

lh and jyl shepherd him into the jiang’s garden where a wedding is set up. The adults look eager and excited, and dolls making up the rest of the crowd. 

wy waits by the altar. 

Jyl hands him a little bouquet, and fixes a makeshift veil on his head and sends him marching down the aisle. jc plays a song on his guitar which people guess is an attempt at the wedding march— its much too out of tune to say for sure 

Lz is very nervous. He’s very lucky that he gets to marry his best friend at least. Imagine if it had to be that bully wx. yuck.

he looks to his uncle to confirm that he accepts and feels a weight lifted off of his shoulder when he nods. Phew. Uncle still loves him. 

The wedding begins. Jyl is their officiant and as she monologues about joining their souls together. Lh sits in the front row with his uncle and records everything.

They make their vows. Wy will make sure lz always has ice cream. Lz will never keep wy from climbing things. 

They exchange ring pops. 

And then jyl finally declares that it’s time for wy to kiss his bride.

The wedding that went off without a hitch so far starts to go completely wrong.

Wy leans in to kiss his fiancé, but lz pushes him away hard sending wy toppling to the ground. 

Their audience falls suddenly silent.

wy on the ground looks started, and peers up and lz in shock.

lz: will not kiss wei yimg. 

wy bursts into tears. 

wy: lan zhan wont kiss me! he doesnt love me!!

Wy is distraught. His tears devolve into big heaving gasps. 

Seeing wy cry makes lz starts crying again too.

He starts wailing: Nooooo a-zhan loves wei ying 😭😭

wy: then why won’t zhanzhan kiss me 😭 😭😭

lz: a-zhan doesn’t want to get pregnant again 😭 what if a-ying kisses me and the babies also get pregnant 😭😭😭😭 

The adults who were stunned into silence at the sudden breakdown finally spring into action. Well, most of them. 

Cangse ayi bursts into howling laughter. Wcz picks up wy and comforts him: “sometimes people just dont like being kissed a-ying. it doesn’t mean they dont love you” 

Lqr kneels with lz, completely mortified at the outbursts. Where on earth had he gotten such an idea in his head?!

He listens to lz’s rambles about how kisses would make him pregnant and huan-ge said that the FBI would arrest his babies. He’s sorry he’s a hussy and shamed shushu

Lqr was so going to punish lh when they get home. (Said culprit is quickly sobering up from his laughter when he catches lqr glaring at him)

lqr pulls lz into his lap and consoles him. He explains to lz that that’s not pregnancy works, turning red as he gives The Talk in public. 

meanwhile…

cssr: you little gremlin we talked about not kissing other people randomly what made you go and do that!?

wy, indignant: but mama! it wasn’t random! you said that we should show people that we love them with both words and actions and that’s why you kiss me! 

they get both boys calm eventually.

wy: im sorry for kissing you when you thought it would get you pregnant lz 🥺

lz: mn. I’m sorry for rejecting wy’s kiss. 🥺 I really love wy 🥺

wy: 😁 I LOVE U TOO LZ!

lz surprises wy by smacking a big kith on wy’s cheeks.

wy: eep 😳 

From then on the boys decide to kith each other on a daily basis. Their relationship evolves over the years from platonic baby kisses, to shy first kisses, to filthy making out. Without the looming threat of pregnancy scares they become extremely annoying with their PDA.

==FIN== 

If you made it this far: Thank you so much for followed along and supporting me along the way 🥺. This is the first thread that I’ve ever posted to completion. I didn’t expect it’d so much attention as it did; I am so grateful! Shout out @cwnsthicktighs for creating this with me 

Some extra scenes: In the original brainwork, the “wedding” happens the next day. Two things were meant to happen here: 1) lh goes homee after riling lz up, lqr tries to pick lz up himself. lqr: a-zhan, come home lz: no. wy is my family now wy, clueless: lz is family? YAY :D 

2. the next day at school wx tries to pick on lx bc he’s got a huge crush on him. lwj doesn’t like it one bit. wy, still protecting his pregnant wife, flies in to the rescue: "STAY AWAY FROM MY PREGNANT WIFE YOU HOMEWRECKER"

why does he know what a home wrecker is? 

Well, wcz is obsessed with soaps. Most days jfm also sneaks over to watch it with him, but he lives in fear of yzy finding out every day.

cssr writes down all of wcz’s favourite scenes so they can role-play them when wy is asleep 😉 

No one lets lz live this day down ever. They bring it up at every chance: “get pregnant lately lz?”

Years in the future, when wx get married, everyone brings The Pregnancy Incident during the toasts. Lz turns a brilliant red while wy falls out of his chair laughing.