#so sad a lot of u will never get to experience that one :( such a beautiful beautiful song
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secondhand-lions · 1 day ago
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looks @ u like this
using this as an excuse to talk about sirenity because they're easily one of my Guys Of All Time and iiiiii don't get to talk about them a whole lot
- is an excellent musician (virtuoso! but primarily anything with strings!) and artist! he also has synaesthesia (which, like their dyslexia, was less severe before The Benny Incident) and perfect pitch and they're an uncannily good mimic.
- fully knows and understands RobCo Termlink code and can, therefore, talk with the vast majority of robots/androids/computers in the wasteland
- there is not nearly enough time to go into their sex life. they've been around. very casual about sex and relationships to the point where it circles back around to become an intense soul-rending need for People and Connection and then it circles back around AGAIN to being very casual. two things can be true at once
- met and talked with benny -> "well. goddamn that's a lot to think about" -> met with House -> "even more to think about. shit." -> Courier Walking Instinct kicks in -> muscle memory takes them back to Primm -> Johnson Nash knows enough about them to recognize the Walk To Think state they're in, accepts that this is a short meeting -> Sirenity keeps going, still on muscle memory to the entrance to the Divide -> thats the thing that snaps them out of their sorta half-dissociative state -> "fuck i'm hungry" -> back to Primm for Ruby's casserole -> turns around, sees the ruined drive-in -> "y'know what? yeah. a movie sounds good right now." -> OWB (during which their mental state is surprisingly good! a creeping dread of familiarity at the sight of the painted old world flags and the descriptions of the other visitors, but yknow! that's fine! then they have a breakdown upon hearing Ulysses' voice again.)
- indeterminate amount of time and gameplay -> Dead Money -> stick around in the mojave for a bit before finally relenting and admitting that they have to back out and recover from the Cloud for a bit ("i have to go clear my lungs") -> Honest Hearts
- casual friendly situationship/QPR with Arcade, kinda a cool older cousin/sister figure to Veronica, good friends with Cass and Raul, visits Lily as much as they can. i'm not really sure of where they stand with Boone. they very badly want to tell him "i think you can be proud of the work you put into something without being proud of what the thing was or did or became" but like... Boone wants an ending, a neat little all-loose-ends-are-tied finish, and Sirenity is living proof that that sort of thing doesn't just Happen. they never were good at delivering endings, anyway.
- post-game otp is sirenity/ulysses but it's open because they both know that they can't always provide what the other needs/wants and love is more of a verb than a feeling anyway
- good friends with the Khans, Followers, and Kings!
- was genuinely really hoping that Benny would stick around after their conversation. not even mad about getting shot or jumped by his bodyguards.
- uhhhhmmmm OH YEAH Mobius was. such a refreshing presence for them. even if they do have to stand weird to keep eachother out of their blindspots. "crazy fuckers missing an eye who experience more visual inputs than should be there" solidarity. she helps with his messed up sensors :]
- honestly i think Sirenity's VERY very postgame jaunt to the Commonwealth is. just straight up in their canon now.
- scars from the Big Mt Spine Removal and Subsequent Un-Removal look like train tracks :) because i think it's cool
- whenever someone gets incredulous about how much stuff and people and places they know of or about or just straight up know their reply is "i have Lived a Life"
- that post about aragorn son of arathorn being sad(lonely) BECAUSE he knows so many people, not despite knowing so many people or knowing so many people despite being sad(lonely)? yeah that applies here. always missing someone. pulls them in so many different directions and yet! and yet! they wander down a new path. courier walking instinct.
- oh yeah they definitely have something set up so the Followers can use the resources of Big MT. that's probably their most regular delivery
- ANOTHER THING! pre-benny incident, the NCR had put a bounty on one of the Khans (haven't thought of a specific person) and Sirenity just. took the wanted poster and moseyed on over to their camp to warn them ("you...? why would you do this?" - "well, if someone i cared about had a hit put out on them, i'd sure as shit want to know about it") and that's how they meet Jessup and McMurphy
- and then DURING the Benny Incident, during the "maybe the Khans don't look the people they kill in the eye-" line, Sirenity shoots Jessup a Look that says "you work with this guy???"
- needless to say they were. very blasé about mortal danger. still is. if there's a multi-perspective story they're really going to try and find the other perspective(s)
yayyyyy okay i think that's it!
Nobody including me posts about their ocs enough so please please please reblog reply or whatever with some oc tidbits!
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lemongogo · 17 days ago
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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sprolden · 2 years ago
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sometimes i will listen to a song and know in my heart and soul that if the lyrics were in english it would have tumblr in a complete, utter, nochildren.mp3-esque chokehold
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longingforacultparty · 6 months ago
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i miss wearing menhera. i should get back into it.
#the bin#never got a chance to get many oieces cause i was a teenager when i was real into it before#i kinda ket go of it when i moved over to tumblr and had really bad experiences in the community. idk what its like now. that was years ago#i miss the amino i used to be in. it was really nice.#now that im an adult and i can buy and wear what i want tho i shoudo really get back into it#i probs wont get much into the tumblr community tho. idk whatbits like now but considering what a lot of other adjacent communities#are like for other styles ill probs mind my own business like i do with the other ones#i remember when i was trying to convince my mom to let me buy some medical themed jewelry from an etsy store and it had the tags#more menhera on it and she looked it up and came to me supwr concerned and i lied and said oh no no no im not into that style#thats just ankther style that usedbthese things but if u see here it also has tags fir these styles and those are the ones im into#and apparently she actually did believe me. i kinda assumed she didnt but i talked to her abt it more recently and apparently she did#i kinda wanna go back and read menhera chan. its a shame the creator sucks abt stuff but i do still like the character and aesthetic of it#but i wouldnt wanna give him money so id probs not buy anything not second hand. idk. the character used to really important to me#ask a very sad teenager. idk. i like menhera much more outside of that character tho.#hmm. well. add it to the list of styles i wanna grow my wardrobe for. i also miss drawing menhera art a lot. would love to get back into it
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poppyseed799 · 1 year ago
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Just remembered I technically have a Reddit account, cuz one time someone posted an art I made onto r/fnafcringe and I got a lot of hate for it, so I felt the need to make a throwaway account to defend myself cuz I was like 14 or something. idk if anyone responded to whatever I said cuz I never touched the account again after posting my response. I don’t remember the username or password.
#that was a very interesting event in my life that taught me a lot about hate#wanna know what I drew that was soo bad it had to be put on r/fnafcringe? shadow freddy with some disappearing purple glue sticks.#because I saw disappearing purple glue sticks and said ‘disappearing and purple? like shadow freddy!’#and the caption the redditor put for it? ‘because EVERYTHING has to be about fnaf’ (sarcastic)#it was so stupid that I was getting bombarded with hate comments for it. to the point I started calling haters Glue Lovers. bc they can’t#stand fnaf fans ruining their precious glue sticks.#anyways! here’s what I noticed about all of this which I took as a lesson that u should never listen to haters!#almost every single person that left a hate comment on it thx to that Reddit post had nazi stuff on their profile#whether it was the pfp or username or the bio. every. single. one. was a nazi.#EXCEPT ONE PERSON#who was a real fnaf fan and didn’t have anything sus on their profile. so I asked them genuinely with sad eyes why they were so offended by#my art of shadow Freddy with some glue. they seemed to stumble on everything a bit cuz it was genuinely really harmless what I was doing and#you wanna know how they eventually decided to justify themselves for the hate? (cuz yes they couldn’t just accept that I didn’t deserve it)#by saying ‘you have to admit the art was pretty bad’#like bro. what.#I was like ‘so I deserve to be bombarded with hate comments for my art style?’ and they told me to get a different style.#I didn’t tho. blocky art 4 life.#another thing that happened during this experience was that I cried.#but what was important was that I never cried from what the haters said#but instead I cried from what my FANS said. every time I saw someone defend me I cried.#so what I learned from that whole experience is that haters are stupid and usually nazis and you shouldn’t listen to them and the people who#support you are far more important to listen to.
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crucialplayer · 1 year ago
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Thoughts on Venus placements
!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.
Aries Venus. View public humiliation as a flirting tactic. Will borderline call you stupid and ugly and genuinely expect people to get the hint that they’re actually very interested. Will prob ask themselves out on ur behalf. If u don't show interest immediately as they enter a room they’re done. Life is a cycle of falling in and falling out. Romance is 90 percent fucking.
Taurus venus. Like anyone who’s pretty but LOVE prob one person in a lifetime. Will have an aneurism if you try to rush them or speed up the prelude. Unbearable in their pickiness (esp with food and smells). Have deluded themselves into thinking there are people dying waiting for them to grace this earth with their love and attention. Limit freedom but act bothered when being imposed with the same limitations. 
Gemini venus. What’s there to say that hasn't been already cried out loud by the casualties of their love. Wandering eye. Don't promise much and deliver even less. Fun tease flirts, will take you on Before Sunrise style date and rot ur brain with all the talk. Like to leave people wondering. Everyone wants to try this one out at least once. Word’s been going around that a non-cheating-gemini Venus has been spotted in the wild but we’re yet to confirm the evidence. 
Cancer venus. Want to be treated like a baby but always end up babying other people. Want to please their loved ones at all times and if not met with instant appreciation become very irritated and sad. Never voice their needs properly. Expect the most distant emotionally constipated people they usually choose as their partners to be mind-readers. Cook-clean-snog love. 
Leo venus. Promise u the moon and the stars but will be too lazy to actually get them. Love themselves first and won't let you forget that. If not received naturally - will drag those compliments out of you manually. At their best great at hyping people up. Love anyone who praises them. Also kinda get attached quite fast. Get jealous and offended easily (I feel like I say this about every Leo placement but what can u do).
Virgo venus. No one can please them and with time fewer people try. Get the ick over people simply breathing. Want the most sterile of love there is. If you’re not the best at your craft or do not aspire to be WHY the fuck not??? Legit think organizing ur desk is a good substitution for letting know they have warm feelings towards you.
Libra venus. Their partner is the star of the night month year life. Choose partners that can be bragged about and envied for. Very loving never shut up about their relationship no matter the setting always find a reason to bring them up. In a relationship make concessions until they blow up.
Scorpio venus. Insanity falsely taken for being in love. Blood contract on the first date. The ones that giggle at cannibalism=love metaphors. Might just lock you up but in a romantic wayyy... Romance is NOT a joke and ANY attempt making FUN of it WILL NOT slide. Looking around might count as cheating. Also if I may I suggest never leaving them on read..) Forever and always til death do us part. 
Sagittarius venus. Often forget that they are in a relationship. Love the fun aspect of dating, but hate everything else. Need someone who constantly shakes things up and makes life interesting for them. In an ideal world, they travel around the globe and have a lot of se make meaningful connections for life. Very playful tho!
Capricorn venus. In relationships become very domestic but it takes a lot for them to actually end up in such. Love language is to cover basic necessities and feel worn out after that. Typically require to be TAUGHT on love and I know there are some people who find this an exciting quest god bless you on that journey. Prob the most rigid Venus in terms of compatibility with others imo. 
Aquarius venus. So fucking random in terms of people they crush on like I can never guess who’s gonna tingle their interest braincell this time. Normally they go for the intellectuals but once they think they’ve got too predictable with it next choice is gonna be wild. Friends with people who have a crush on them and are oblivious to it. Freeze when you get mushy or clingy with them. 
Pisces venus. Takes a village to pull them out of that one abusive dynamic they’ve been perpetually stuck in. Unironically think of themselves as smol beans. Dedicate their whole unprompted to the person they’ve had a crush on for like two days. Very very veryyyy lovey-dovey-sweet-corny, have no problem confessing their love. Likely to draw ur portrait if they like you. 
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kpopscruggles · 1 month ago
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The people are asking for more txt twt links w/ Headcons and your thoughts! Love ur writing and maybe a sunghoon nsfw alphabet? I read some and it's a bit innacurate.. Would love your opinion on it (also new follower so idk much abt if u already posted that *I'll do some reseach :>*)
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Thank you for requesting love! I decided to go with the sunghoon a-z because I've never done one and I've alr made a haechan request! 
Nsfw twt are on hold due to me finding some but soon I will bring those back! Anway's enjoy! 
A- aftercare, what he’s like after sex 
I feel he def attends to your needs, he’s at least doing the basics. Wiping you down, getting you cold water and a snack. I feel like he also does this though because he does it for himself if I'm being honest.  
Even if you didn’t care he was going to do it for himself so why not make sure his baby is taken care of too? It just makes sense to him. 
B- body part, their favorite on theirs and partner's body 
For him, his favorite body part on himself has to be his muscle. He’s not loke drooling over himself more than he is you but he does give himself good rep because he can pick you up, move you into diffrent positions with absolutely no problem. So i feel he values his muscles because of you in a sense. 
His favorite body part on you is your legs, he loves your legs. He loves how they are always in his lap, wrapped around his waist, on his shoulders. He loves kissing your ankles while ponding into you, also bonus points if you're wearing an ankle. 
C- cum, anything to do with cum 
I think he’s a clean guy UNLESS it involves a creampie. If he’s wanting you to swallow then he’s staying in your mouth, you must bribe him little to give you a facial or pearl necklace. Now like I said if it’s a creampie it’s sticky, messy, a shower after type fuck.  
Add in is I do believe he cums a lot, now realistic but he's got a nice stream going and is the type to squeeze his tip to make sure every bit comes out.  
D- dirty secret, self-explanatory  
Hoon’s got a few dirty secrets I believe but I think the main one he possesses and will never let you know unless you find out is bragging. And although this does not seem off but it's the fact, he could do the nastiest freaky things to you and has no shame in bragging about it when the boys try to tease him over it.  
This is something that he says between the boys and the boys, he doesn't get too personal with it, but he spills it by saying it’s something they should try with their girlfriends. 
E- experience, do they know what they are doing? 
I think if he had experience it's only have been one person. Hoon doesn’t strike me as the type who bounces around, for example you two could have dated months and he’s going to be sad ab it for a bit because he takes him time to know if he wants to date or not. 
So, one person but he’s mostly learned everything he’s fond of by himself, by watching porn, reading about it, etc.  
F- favorite position 
I don't think Hoon is basic, but he does use positions that slightly branch from the basic ones. Also keep in mind he finds ways to use his muscle. So, it falls under missionary, but he most has your legs on his shoulders and his moving your hips for you. It allows him to use his arm muscles, he's able to kiss around your ankles because he loves your legs. If not that then most the time it is quite simple missionary. 
G- goofy 
No, unless a simple mistake happens, he's profoundly serious cause he thinks sex is intimate. 
H- hair, how groomed is he? 
I think he keeps himself groomed and trimmed is his favorite. I think there is something about him that likes to keep the bit of hair because it is a human body and its gonna grow. Now he’s not freaking out if it grows a bit longer than planned nor is he judging you because your pussy is pretty to him no matter what. 
I- intimacy, how are they during the moment 
Super intimate, sex is a moment where in your relationship you're showing each other love and affection. Even after an argument sex is something that helps you both realize you love each other. He’ll do anything to have intimate moments with you because he genuinely does cherish them.  
J- jack off, how often? 
A lot. I am a firm believer Hoon has a perverted side and sometimes he’s too embarrassed to admit a simple thing got him hard.  
I also do believe he’s a firm believer of the fact no one can make you cum like yourself. He thinks you should even have moments where even though you have him you nor he should be ashamed of pleasuring yourself 
K- kinks? Top three 
Top three for him is Marking, Teasing, and A bit of overstimulation?  
Many people like to make these kinks rough, but they don't have to be. He likes marking because to him he loves when you nibble on his skin while he fucks you, He loves seeing you squirm a little or having you leave him with a raging boner even, overstimulation he likes because to him it kind of reveals how much or how eager you two wants each other with no shame or remorse for yourself to stop.  
L- Location, favorite places  
He enjoys just sex in the house (he may like the couch more than the bed) but if he’s out he doesn't mind meeting you somewhere private. It’s strange he has that vibe too because I also feel like he gives car sex after a few dates. 
M- motivation, what riles him up 
Anything you do sexually obviously riles him up but something nonsexual that gets him every.single.time, is when you wear certain colors. He thinks romantic colors like red, pink a dark purple, or a nice clean white takes him out every time, double points of the outfit is revealing 
N- no, turn offs 
He’s jealous that something I'll has to agree with most people on this app. Does that mean he won't share? Not technically. (not shipping when I say this) but he won't do threesomes unless it's with someone close, we can you jake as an example. But he’s only gonna do it once and all jake is getting is head. 
Another ultimate turn off is when things feel forced, not like one forcing the other but more of if he feels you are just having sex because you haven't in like a week, yeah, it’s not getting up so don't bother babe, he thinks sex takes time.  
O- oral, preference of giving or receiving 
He prefers giving, I believe. It doesn’t bother him when you wanna give him head, he just doesn’t feel that same ego boosts as when has got you whining while he’s fucking you with his tongue. So, unless he just has the urge to cut down your throat, he’s probably gonna stop your mid-way to ravish you instead. 
P- pace, fast? Rough? Slow? Sensual? 
He’ll get down with everything I do believe. I think if he’s feeling more sensual, he’s keeping his thrusts slow and deep so that orgasm just builds up by the minute. Rough, this is my opinion, but a lot of ppl do make him seem the be super rough, but I don’t think he’s like that and if he is it’s only when you're asking for it. Other than that, his rough is a lil messy and a couple marks but I also think he keeps a medium pace and just makes sure every inch of him fills you. 
Q- quickie? 
So, when I said in the turn off category, he thinks sex takes time. If you get a quickie outta him it’s a giving you head quickie because if his baby needs to cum he’ll gladly help. Other than that, I don't believe out of enha he's a quickie guy. 
R- risk, what are they willing to risk for sex with you? 
If you seem eager to do it, then he’s making his baby happy. If it’s not ruining anything in any way, he’ll do it for you. If it’s something he’s willing to risk, then it was never important is what he'll tell you. 
S- stamina? How many rounds 
I think he can carry about three rounds in his belt, if it's a needy situation 4 but if that's the case then 1 or 2 of the sessions someone is getting head so eventually your guy's breath is caught up. I do believe he spaces these sessions out if it's a 4 rounder but barely does this happen. Other than that, he’s going about three rounds  
T- toys, do they like them? 
Yes, so as said, he does think it’s healthy for you two to have sessions by yourself and you can use toys together but if you two use them when it’s just your personal time.  
U- unfair? Do they often tease? 
He thinks it builds up the need for others. He would love it if you teased him too. I see him as a competition teaser where you two see who gives in first. 
V- volume? Are they vocal? 
He’s a 50/50, what he’s always gonna do is dirty talk, no matter if it’s whispering or full-blown words. Now vocal as moaning wise, he lets out the soft moans, but only the overstimulation hit where he gets louder. 
W- wild card? Something that just randomly makes him relentless 
Knowing someone's listening or watching, or even knowing what you just did. If you are leaving your space after sex and one of the guys makes it obvious then he's getting hard again knowing there’s someone who knew he got to be balls deep inside you. It riles him up knowing he’s that lucky and that someone is jealous enough to tease and try to make fun.  
X- x-ray? What's he giving down there? 
I think he’s skinny but decently big. His tip always stays a pink, he’s got a couple semi prominent veins depending on how long he’s been edge or has held a boner. His balls are settled too, nothing rlly different there, like said he’s nice and trimmed so has a little hair patch. All around he gives pretty dick vibes.  
Y- yearning? High or low sex drive? 
High or normal. Most the time high which I feel is why he’s a guy who takes his time, this man is not thinking about being buried in your cunt 24 hours of the day just for a quick fuck.  
Z- zzzz, how fast he falls asleep after 
He’s tired but he’s not going to sleep without letting you know he loves you and that he enjoyed making you cum, sometimes even tells you thank you. Give a couple of kisses and make sure you're comfy.  
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mothgardens · 2 months ago
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@tired-dragon22 ask and you shall receive :)
If you know me, no you don’t (I’m looking at u, T)
This is probably going to be a little messy and silly, but defo worth it.
To the people who think that Logan is a dominant, angry top… YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HIM— this goes both ways because if you think that Wade is a submissive, whiny bottom you gotta be kidding.
These two characters are so complex and I am going to spend far to much time analyzing their psychosexual behavior, lets begin:
Logan, like most us know, is passed around like a blunt: Storm, Jean, Scott, Jean and Scott at the same time, Kurt, Storm, Kurt and Storm at the same time, Wade, some people ship him with Charles and Erik as well— point being, the man has some experience.
I know he wouldn’t run for one team (top or bottom), he is playing both fields. In my heart, he is a switch. But, that means he has multiple roles. To me, he is a power bottom MOST of the time, a service top, and on special occasions he can be a regular old bottom.
You have to really delve into the details of his character to see this how I do, and tbh idk if I will be able to explain it as well as I’d like.
Thinking about his character overall, he plays the “bad boy” who is mean and uncommitted, but that is not him. That is a mask to the world to hide his vulnerability.
This man is really just a soft, sad soldier. He has spent to much if his life grasping for stability and dignity. Everything he has ever done has been for some drop of control. But, he doesn’t like it.
He hates his anger, it’s exhausting. He hates fighting for everything he wants. He hates the constant tension and stress. He needs someone to take it away. Which leads me to our first role, Service Top.
He wants to serve. He wants to be told he is doing well (I will die on the hill of this mf having a praise kink). He doesn’t want to fight for control anymore. He hates having a constant guessing game; he would prefer to be told what to do. So, this is a perfect role for him. His partner has control, but he can still serve them. He can be their loyal dog. Do as they say, how they say it. He would get of to pleasing his partner. If they tell him “good job” then his heart is their’s.
I think the line between him being a power bottom or a traditional bottom is paper thin. He likes the lack of control, but he doesn’t like the guessing game. So, he gives suggestions, orders, or, primarily, bitches until his partner does what he wants. HE IS A BRAT, YOU CANNOT FIGHT ME ON THIS.
Simply, he needs to be taken care of. He takes care of so many people, he takes control of so many situations, he never catches a break. He just needs someone to gently lay him down and take the tension away.
I am foul, so one of my favorite traits about Logan is his animalistic tendencies. I believe they shine out during sex. Along the lines of him being a brat, sometimes he will just growl instead of actually bitching. Or he will whine instead of saying a word. I think he is incredibly verbal during sex, but his partner has to get him comfortable enough to quit biting back noises.
I’m not going to get into a lot of details, but just know: Logan is a bratty, feral power bottom who becomes a little mess OR he is a loyal dog service top who just wants to please.
That was my ted talk, amen.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ON; im so happy i found the bottom logan community. He is so important to me.
(i can also make one of these about Wade)
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tightjeansjavi · 9 months ago
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The Rite of Movement | part two
“first impressions”
part one | honeymoonin’
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A/N: well, well, well, fancy that we’re all meeting up here, huh? 🥵 first, I just wanted to give a big thank you to @itsokbbygrl who has been feeding my brain rot all day. I appreciate you so so much and your input is extremely helpful 🥺 I do not have a lot of knowledge on the adult film industry, but I’m eager to dive into it with y’all. We all have our different preferences and tastes when it comes to porn, (if you choose to watch it) but for me personally, I’m into porn that is catered to women. And guess who else is? Joel fuckin’ Miller! I hope these impromptu drabbles give you all the warm, fuzzy, and hornknee feelings. In this household, we support sex workers 💗 we also support healthy communication during sex, safe sex, and sexual liberation for everyone. Thank u also to @strang3lov3 for the title 🤍
~word count: 5.0k~
Summary: it’s your first time meeting Joel Miller, your new adult film partner
Pairing | pornstar!joel miller x pornstar f!reader (and a sprinkle of pornstar!tommy miller. More to come in later chapters!)
Warnings: 30s reader/40s joel, general discussions of the porn industry, brief discussions of workplace trauma, mild swearing, kissing, slightly inappropriate workplace relationship, boss/employee power dynamic but it’s only lightly explored in this chapter, voyeurism, light smut, f!masturbation, reader has no physical descriptions, mentions of cigarettes and alcohol consumption, +18, minors dni! Let me know if I missed anything!
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When you moved back to Austin Texas looking for a fresh start after a rather rocky experience doing unsatisfying pornos as a regular on screen talent for the mega studio, Brazzers, you never expected to rejoin the industry through a professional studio. After being fired, you settled on making solo amateur films in an attempt to pay your bills and make ends meet. The only problem was rent in LA was nowhere near affordable, and the pay was significantly less than you’d been bringing in from the studio. That’s when you made the decision to leave the state of California entirely, looking eastward towards a once-familiar home.
Your roots were in rural Texas, and although your parents ultimately disowned you for joining the adult film industry, you still had a support group of fellow transplants in Austin that had missed you terribly.
The porn industry was always evolving, but with these changes came an influx of new content. You had a decent following for a small time account, but without the promotion budget that came with films produced at larger studios, your homemade solo films were inevitably pushed to the bottom of the pecking order, making it difficult to expand your audience. You thought about quitting entirely and getting an everyday job as a receptionist at some corporate office, until one night you stumbled upon a channel account that was based in Austin. “Miller-Co, Real people, real sex, professionally produced for your pleasure.” Surrounded by unpacked moving boxes on your single, sad, sofa, you poured yourself a tall glass of wine and clicked on the first video that appeared on the channel’s page, its male lead catching your eye immediately and you clicked the video details to find his name.
Joel Miller was big in every possible sense. From his hands, to his biceps, to his strong thighs. His cock was stunning. It wasn’t the longest cock you had ever seen, but it was deliciously thick, a girth that had you salivating immediately. Not only was it big, but the more you watched, the more you learned he sure knew how to use it. Despite Joel’s brooding nature, his attentive care to his partners on screen was something you had never seen before. He was a talker, a praiser and it seemed he only did scenes in positions where he could see his partners face while they came. The studio lighting was softer, inviting, and very, very intimate.
You clicked through more videos. Joel’s apparent brother, Tommy Miller, was also a big talker, but he reminded you more of a sweet frat boy with some serious golden retriever energy. In simple terms, Tommy liked to pound it. His style seemed more physically intense and fun, lighthearted even. He could do more sensual, intimacy based scenes, but that was more Joel’s forte, you gleaned as you continued to consume their content. Tommy’s cock had an inch or so on his brother, but his cock wasn’t as thick. What it lacked it girth it made up for with how it was curved, and you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to hit that spot inside of you that sent you keening.
The more you watched these two brothers in their element, the damper your flimsy panties grew. It had been so long since you had gotten off while watching porn that you weren’t even sure if you could have a successful orgasm from it. Boy, were you wrong.
Your clit was soon overstimulated and pulsing beneath the soft silicon of your vibrator. You tossed the toy to the side and paused the video while you caught your breath for a few minutes, coming down from your high. A sense of post-orgasmic clarity settled in your mind and something was telling you that working for this channel’s studio might end up being your calling. A wonderful, horny twist of fate. Your ticket back into the industry that had left you both emotionally and physically bruised.
You couldn’t help the gleeful giggle that slipped past your lips the further you scrolled down the channel’s main page, looking for information on Miller-Co’s parent studio, and discovered a link at the bottom: Auditions.
You scrambled to update your resumé, and threw together a portfolio of your past work and clicked on the link. You submitted your application and downed the rest of your wine before closing the screen to your laptop with a decompressing sigh.
No one could say that you didn’t try.
On the other side of town Joel Miller was just closing up the studio for the evening to meet Tommy at their usual watering hole for a drink. His phone buzzed, notifying him that he had a new email and while he walked to his truck, he opened the email.
He had been recently looking for a new film partner outside of his current talent pool. Things were going well at his and Tommy’s boutique adult film studio, they were starting to see growth, and that meant making sure there was regularly fresh content for their growing audience.
Despite receiving 100s of applicants a day from his online posting on his studio’s PornHub channel, none of them were quite what Joel was looking for..until he opened up your application. Joel got a sudden overwhelming feeling in his chest that you were exactly the type of on-screen partner he was looking for. He exited out of the email and sent a quick text to Tommy. Hey, I'm gonna be a few minutes late. Got an applicant that I think will be perfect.
After sending the text to his brother, he opened the email once more. Your resumé was brief, and a noticeable frown crossed over his face when he saw that you were ex-Brazzers. When Joel was 18 and fresh to the industry, he worked for Brazzers. Being so green, he hadn’t known what exactly to expect, so he suffered through in the name of independence and regular pay, but he had hated it, and especially hated the way it made him feel. The culture there had led him to never wanting to partake in making that type of porn again. There was no emphasis on the comfort of his female partners, little to no communication between the actors, and Joel ultimately was uncomfortable with following through with the things he was requested to do. Half the time it didn’t even feel good. And what the hell is the point of making porn if both participants aren’t having fun and feeling pleasure?
For this reason, he felt wrong viewing the content that you had made with Brazzers. Given his prior experience, he could only imagine what you had gone through, and he didn’t want to see you that way. His business was solely based around respect, consent, and comfort as a top priority.
He opted to view your solo amateur content instead. You were a natural, and he knew that he could easily make you a star, if that’s what you truly wanted. Joel knew that mixing pleasure with business, in this industry in particular, could end up messy, but he never felt so physically and emotionally attracted to another human being till now.
His fingers worked fast on the screen as he responded to the email.
Hello,
It’s after working hours for me, but I just went over your application. You’re a natural, and I would be extremely interested in meeting for an official audition. Here is the address to the studio, and my personal work number.
I am off tomorrow, but if you are interested, I can go ahead and schedule a meeting for noon?
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Joel Miller.
He receives an email response from you five minutes later just when he starts the engine of his truck.
Hello Joel,
I would absolutely be interested in coming in for an official audition tomorrow. Noon works for me as well.
See you then!
He lets out a sigh of relief at your response and despite his goal to remain professional, he can’t help the flush that rises to his cheeks at the thought of filming with you. He sends a calendar invite to your email address with the meeting time of noon tomorrow. He tosses his phone into the cup holder and finally drives to the bar.
“She’s ex-Brazzers. Moved all the way from LA just like you and me.” Joel discusses with Tommy over a beer. He takes a sip from the rim and slides his phone across the table to the opposite end of the booth where Tommy is sitting.
“And she’s only been doing solo amateur content as of late?”
“Yeah, she’s only got a few videos up, but it sounds like she’s ready to dip her toe back into the industry. She’s a natural, Tommy. Real captivatin’ on camera.”
Tommy glances down at your application and lightly taps out a bit of ash from his cigarette in the ashtray resting near his elbow. “That so? Well, guess I’m just gonna have to see for myself jus’ how captivatin’ she is.” He looked over at his brother with a knowing grin and pulled out his earbuds from his jacket pocket and slipped them in.
Joel intently observes his brother watching one of your solo films and when he sees Tommy reach down to adjust himself, he couldn’t help but grin.
Tommy’s cheeks have a bright flush to them as he hits pause on the video, taking out one of the earbuds and makes direct eye contact with his brother. “Holy fuck, she’s gorgeous. Those eyes? Brother, I feel like I was being sucked into the screen! God, and her little whimpers? The way they kept gettin’ higher and higher—” Tommy said animatedly.
Joel feels a twinge of jealousy zip up his spine like he was shocked. Tommy’s never been shy, and neither has Joel, but he’s already feeling protective over you and he hasn’t even met you yet. “Yeah, she is a thing of beauty, ain’t she? I don’t know what it is about her, but I love her energy.” Joel comments thoughtfully.
Tommy, being the horndog that he is, can't help but look back down at the screen and the part where the video has paused. Your thighs are spread wide, fingers playing with your clit, teasing yourself while making occasional direct eye contact with the camera. “And god, that pussy? Y’ever see somethin’ so pretty? Bet she tastes like fuckin’ honey.” Tommy drawls.
“Tommy.” Joel snaps his fingers in front of his face in a quick motion. “Don’t go gettin’ too excited now. I’m the one meetin’ with her.” Joel gently reminds him.
“Well, I can see why ya like her so much already, Joel.” He winks and slides the phone back in his direction. “Don’t go gettin’ your panties in a twist. I think just based on this single video, she’s gonna be a good fit. On a serious note, I hope that Brazzers didn’t fuck her up too much.” He reaches for his beer and takes a sip.
“It’s her energy man, it’s infectious. She seems so gentle, soft, but you can tell that she knows exactly what she wants just by looking into her eyes alone.” Joel said rather dreamily.
“Y’gonna give ‘er the ole Joel Miller razzle dazzle then?” Tommy wiggled his eyebrows playfully with a chuckle.
Joel rolled his eyes and flipped him off before taking another sip of his beer. “All depends on her comfort level during our first interaction. I want her to know that she gets to call all the shots.”
Tommy tips his beer towards Joel in a mock salute. “And yet they say chivalry is dead.”
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At first you wonder if Miller-Co is just another too good to be true scam and Joel had played you, providing you with the wrong address on purpose. Maybe this was a sign for you to never try studio work in the adult film industry again. You were standing outside of a hardware store, triple checking the address while simultaneously looking up at the sign: Miller-Co
Joel is sitting behind his desk when he sees you teetering around outside. He checks the time on his watch—quarter to noon—and smiles. He’s a punctual person himself and always had this philosophy of showing up earlier than planned out of respect for everyone’s valuable time.
He gets up from his desk and walks towards the door just as you’re turning on your heel to walk away.
The door swings open behind you with a sweet chime, and then you hear the raspy timbre of his voice, his smooth southern accent that already has you feeling weak in the knees.
“Are you my 12 o’clock?” He grins a boyish grin that oozes a level of natural confidence and charm that men dream of possessing.
“Oh.” You laugh and fiddle with the strap on your purse. “I totally thought I had the wrong place for a second there.”
“Sorry ‘bout the confusion, darlin.’ Folks ‘round these parts can be…sensitive to what we’re doing here. Gotta be sure they ain’t have a clue what they’re walkin’ by, be discreet, y’know?” He holds the door open with his shoulder effortlessly, and you get a good look at his handsome features. Joel Miller is tall, well-groomed, and there’s something immediately comforting about him. You can’t quite put your finger on what that thing is, but it might have to do with the selfless energy that radiates from the depths of his soft, espresso colored eyes. Or maybe it’s the endearing heart-shaped patches in his gray speckled beard.
“Oh, thank god!” You laugh again, hoping he didn’t notice your staring, and he chuckles. Something flickers in your eyes that Joel registers as unabashed curiosity. He clocks the slight hitch of your breath, your pupils dilating.
“I take it you’re probably used to dingy warehouses, unkempt garages, and the occasional sketchy office building?” Joel quips. He slips one of his hands into the faded pocket of his denim jeans.
“Yeah, how did you know?” You retort with false sarcasm and a small smile.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Lucky guess?”
“Well, you didn’t not hit the nail on the head, Mr. Miller.”
You swear you see him blush, the tops of his cheeks turning a flushed pink color. “Oh, please, call me Joel, darlin’. Mr. Miller makes me feel so..old.” He laughs and subtly gestures to the open door. “And hope ya don’t mind me sayin’ this, but ain’t you jus’ the sweetest n’ prettiest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of layin’ my eyes on.” He winks. “Shall we?”
“Oh, please, you aren’t old at all, Joel,” you brush away his self deprecation as his compliment leaves you feeling flustered, the heat beginning to rise to your cheeks. “So, your videos weren’t lying then? You really are a sweet talker?” You flirt back.
“Some days I feel like I am, got a bad back and ‘a that. And, oh, I am quite the sweet talker, darlin’.” He holds the door open for you as you slip past him, brushing up against the rough denim of his jeans due to his sheer mass taking up most of the entryway.
Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach when your eyes zone in on an all-to familiar black leather couch pressed up against the side of the wall. He notices your immediate discomfort and hesitation and clears his throat alongside you. “We uh—don’t film anythin’ on that, darlin’. It’s there more as a joke than anythin’.”
He sees you visibly let out a sigh of relief as your shoulders relax. You don’t see his face, but his lips are set in a deep frown and he genuinely feels bad. “There’s no leather couches or bright, headache inducin’ lights where I film, darlin’,” he adds softly and steps around you to pull back the chair at his desk.
You’re not even sure what to think or say as he pulls the chair back and you quietly sit down and watch as he sits across from you. “Hey, before we get into talkin’ business, I’m aware that you worked for Brazzers at one point, saw it on the application you submitted, and I jus’ wanted to let you know that me sayin’ ‘lucky guess’ back there was to ease your nerves. I understand what it’s like coming from that world, could tell that you were feelin’ a bit apprehensive, and I didn’t wanna jump right on into discussing your portfolio out in the open, y’know?” He held steady eye contact with you which was something that you normally would be intimidated by, but Joel wasn’t trying to make you feel small, his concern was genuine.
“It’s just been awhile for me since working there, but I appreciate you trying to ease the tension, Joel. I swear I’m not always this jumpy,” you add softly and he smiles.
“S’alright. I understand. I jus’ wanna start off by sayin’ that I want you to be comfortable, darlin’. That’s our first priority. We can film in the studio if you want. Now, personally, I never film here. All feels a bit too sterile for me; got a set up at home to film there. Feels more natural, but if you would rather be here, we can make that work.” He clicks a few buttons on the desktop mouse and pulls up your application so he has it to directly reference.
“Your first priority is that you want me to be comfortable?” The question tumbles past your lips and your pupils are blown wide. In past jobs your comfort was always pushed to the very bottom. It was viewed as insignificant and something that you were told you’d just have to suck up and get over. There was always a limited budget, which meant limited time, which meant little care given to anything other than hard and fast, turn and burn shoot days. And the studio executives cared about little except increasing profits year over year, so time and time again, you’d endured a lack of connection with your scene partners and set crew alike, never more than a quick direction thrown your way. No, comfortable was a far cry from what you were used to.
He’s not taken aback by your response at all. It’s something that he’s all-too familiar with, unfortunately. “Of course, darlin’. That’s the key to makin’ good porn, ain’t it? Both parties gotta be comfortable, otherwise the audience won’t feel connected to what they’re viewin’. All sex sells, but intimacy sells more.”
“I’m just not used to this kind of treatment, Joel. I honestly didn’t even believe that it existed in the adult film industry. The whole notion of comfort above all is just…new for me.”
“I know it is, darlin’,” Joel takes a breath before continuing, “I’m ex-Brazzers, too. Started there when I was 18, and left on my 30th birthday.” This was a piece of Joel’s past that was especially private, it came with baggage he still wasn’t entirely ready to unpack, and yet sharing this with you felt comforting for him.
“Oh my god, did they fire you too?” You lean forward in your chair feeling shocked that someone else in the industry shared the same awful experience as you did.
Joel’s heart shatters when he learns that you were fired. It makes him angry for you and the other women in the industry that were often released from their contracts for frivolous reasons. How could they let someone like you go? You have all the potential in the world with real, raw, talent, and on top of that, you were an absolute knockout. Those motherfuckers had a goldmine with you, and yet they couldn’t see what Joel sees.
“No, darlin’,” he frowns, “they didn’t. My brother and I made the decision to quit on our own. We stayed in LA for awhile with some old costars and made some amateur films before we moved back home to Austin, and started our own studio. I’ve strived to make porn that is catered to women. It’s a market that’s been largely untapped, and I’m lookin’ to shift the industry by showing how profitable it is,” he explains honestly. “And folks deserve to see real sex full of connection and intimacy and even sometimes some bloopers,” he chuckles. “It’s something that I’m incredibly passionate about, and that’s why it’s my utmost priority to make sure that you are respected and feel comfortable.”
You shrink in on yourself when the wave of sudden emotions hit and you don’t even realize your crying till Joel is getting up in a haste with a few tissues in his hand. His eyes are laced with concern as he crouches in front of you. “Hey, I’m sorry, darlin’. Didn’t mean t’make ya cry. I jus’—know how harmful the industry can be, and ‘m tryin’ to build a safe space within it.”
Fat tears begin to roll down your cheeks as you try to laugh through the tears. You feel pathetic for breaking down in front of this man who you have only just met. He must think you’re a lost cause in the industry if you can’t even hold yourself together for more than five minutes. You sniffle as he gently brings the tissue upwards towards your face and gently brushes away your tears. “I’m sorry, Joel. I don’t mean to turn into this blubbering fuckin’ mess.”
“Hey, ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for, darlin’,” he coos. “Maybe we wanna get outta here for some fresh air? If you’d like? Know a nice quiet coffee shop jus’ down the street. How do you feel about that?”
You look at him through wet lashes and parted lips when you slowly nod. “Uh—yeah. That would..be great. I’m just not exactly comfortable in this environment,” you murmur.
“I understand. No hard feelin’s taken or anythin’. Would you like some help gettin’ up?” He offers you his freehand.
“You’re not..upset?” You question softly and grasp his hand in your palm as he gently helps you up from the chair. His palm is warm against yours and massive in size.
“Upset? No, not at all. I meant it when I said that your comfort is a priority, darlin.’” He affirms.
After you’ve composed yourself a bit, you let Joel lead the way to the quiet coffee shop down the street. He holds the door open for you and lets you pick a secluded table in the back. When you offer to pay for the coffees, he interjects with a small grin and shakes his head. “S’on me, darlin’. G’on now and make yourself comfy,” he nudges you gently towards the table.
It’s a depressing thought to have, but you think about how no man has ever treated you with the kindness and respect that Joel Miller has thus far. It’s the bare minimum, but you appreciate him for it deeply.
He returns with two lattes and places them on the table before taking a seat across from you. “Y’jus’ let me know when and if you wanna continue the conversation, alright? There’s no rush. I ain’t got anywhere else to be.”
You grasp the mug between your palms and let the warm steam wafting from the mug kiss your skin as you look over at him. “Well, I figured it would be okay with me to share with you a list of things I’m not comfortable with?” You lean over the side of the chair and reach into your purse to pull out a folded up piece of paper that you drafted up after submitting the application last night.
He nods and takes a sip of his latte. “Of course that’s okay for you to do. I’ve got a form for you to sign back at the studio that includes a section disclosing your limitations and your personal comforts. We like to keep it on file so we can prepare everyone before shoot day, that way there ain’t any accidental crossed boundaries.” He reaches across the table and gently takes the paper from you.
Despite everything Joel has told you thus far, you’re afraid that he’ll end up being judgemental based on your list. It’s pretty much everything that mainstream porn runs on: bondage, punishment, gang bangs, overstimulation, and anal to name a few. You’re already thinking of getting up from the table, and protecting what’s left of your ego when he sets the paper down, reaches for your hand, gently picks it up and kisses the back of it while looking into your eyes. “This is it? We can absolutely work with this, darlin’. Don’t you worry none,” he reassures you.
His lips against your skin are like two plush pillows. Soft, silky and it’s hard to not imagine what those lips would feel like pressed against either of your own. You expected shame, and instead were greeted with the complete opposite. He validated you, and that alone was making your head spin like a ferris wheel.
“I know you ain’t have any pleasant experiences in the industry, and that’s a damn shame. But I can promise you that you won’t have to worry about none of that with me. Okay, darlin’? Sweet girl, I’m gonna be honest with ya because that’s jus’ the kind of man I am. Y’got some serious talent that I think has been severely overlooked. I can make you into a real star if that’s what you want. I’m simply jus’ actin’ as a guideway for ya. And between you and me? I love my job, and I hope that maybe I’ll be able to turn those bad experiences you had into somethin’ good.”
Your eyes focus on his lips and their movement with each word that flows past them. Neither of you realize how close you’re leaning over the table till you can practically taste the hazelnut latte lingering on his tongue.
“Joel, I swear I heard every word you just said, and please tell me if I’m being unprofessional given the circumstances, but I really want to kiss you right now,” you breathe.
His brow raises and a dimple pokes through his cheek as a grin tugs across the corner of his lips. He chuckles softly, “Well, lucky for you, it’s totally appropriate given the circumstances. Jus’ one of the many perks of bein’ in this industry, darlin’. Unbridled desire is personally one of my favorite things.” He leans in closer, his tone dropping down to an octave that made you tingle with desire, and admits quietly, just for you, “If we weren’t here in this coffee shop right now, I’d show you just how unbridled my desire can be.”
You gripped the edge of the table for dear life. It took everything in you to not rip that man’s clothes off right then and there. That part of you that had laid so dormant was crackling to life again, and he could see those emotions swirling in your eyes. “Maybe we should get those papers signed so that you can show me if you’re really just all talk?” Your brow quirked upwards, mouth lifting into a flirtatious smirk just as his nose brushed against your own.
“Think you’ve seen enough to me to know that I ain’t bluffin’, darlin’.” His hot breath fans your lips as you reach across the table and rest a hand on his shoulder, the other steadying your balance on the table. Joel lifts his hand to your face and gently guides you by your chin. His lips brush yours, testing the waters while your tongue swipes confidently at his lower lip. He surges forward, hand moving from your chin to cup your face where your jaw meets your neck and deepens the kiss. You unconsciously let a soft moan loose, lost in the feeling, and Joel feels his cock come to life at the sound. It’s a good thing the barista behind the counter is too busy watching a YouTube video to see you and Joel practically gorging on each other's faces.
You can feel him smiling against your mouth before he leaves you with a final press of his lips and pulls back, sitting back in his chair, shit-eating grin plastered on his face as he brings his thumb up to the corner of his lips and wipes away a stray strand of saliva. “Think I’m gonna get a little somethin’ to eat. Y’want anythin’?” He rasps and reaches for his wallet in his pocket.
“Yeah.” You grin and rest your chin in your palms. “Something..sweet.”
A flush rises to his cheeks as he stands up from the chair and discreetly adjusts himself in his jeans and you giggle at the sight. You’d think it was his first rodeo by how quickly he had grown hard from just kissing you. Then again, Joel did say that he loved his job. And if he treated the less significant parts of his job like that, you were more than looking forward to seeing, feeling, him do the other parts of his job he loved, too.
You sat in that coffee shop for hours getting to know one another. It felt like no time had gone by at all, and it was obvious that you both were feeling that spark of an immediate connection blossoming. There was no denial that you and Joel were physically attracted to one another, but you had no idea what doors were now opened because of this first meeting. The chemistry was palpable, electricity ricocheting off the walls, and that unspoken language between one another was apparent.
“Hey, Joel? I think I’m ready to sign those forms now,” you spoke, wading through the building sexual tension.
“Perfect.” He grins. “Let’s go n’get ‘em signed.” He pats your thigh gently.
Once you’re back in the studio, Joel goes over every section of the documents and answers every single one of your questions with direct thoughtfulness and professionalism. You can hear your pulse beating in your ears when you sign the last page, clenching your thighs to abate the need growing between your legs.
“Now, there’s no rush to filmin’ anythin’ right away, okay? We don’t gotta dive head first if you wanna go home and process all of this, I completely understand. But, if you’re interested, I can give you my address and we can—”
“How about you drive me to your place instead?” You coyly interjected with a grin.
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klausysworld · 9 months ago
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u write angst so well ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I'm thinking about one with klaus, but like, something that hurts but it's comforting at the same time
Like him and reader are in a relationship and he travels for some days, reader has depression and during this time she practically can't do anything, cleaning, basic hygiene, cooking, the basic stuff most people do without difficulty. And when he comes back he sees her in this situation and comfort her, giving her a shower, babying her, this fluff stuff
Klaus is one of my comfort characters and, by the way, the speeches he has about life and enjoying like actually helps me a lot with my depression. And u are gold 🥇
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Never Alone
Y/n was a sweet girl. She always was.
Growing up she was often full of emotions, crying almost always whether it was because she was too happy or too sad or too angry. However every time her eyes would water, each time her bottom lip would quiver, one of her parents or aunts or cousins would sigh and tell her how annoying she was, how pathetic it was. Her emotions and feelings became ignored, assumed to be overdramatic.
So when she really had something worth crying over, nobody cared to listen. Not a soul would give her even a second. It didn't matter how many times she tried to seriously talk to them, explain she wasn't an oversensitive little girl anymore, she knew what she was feeling and what had happened to her. They didn't care to hear it.
Instead she learned to push any thoughts down or at least aside. If nobody wanted to listen then she wouldn't bother making noise for them to hear.
For a long time, she barely spoke a word.
Most of the time she didn't even really feel anything anymore. She tried to sometimes but she just didn't, couldn't. Life began to feel utterly pointless.
That was when she would spend days in bed, not moving to do a thing. Often she would hope that if she stayed there long enough, maybe she would disappear or if she slept for long enough, maybe she wouldn't have to wake back up. Unfortunately for her, neither of those things happened.
It was fate really that on one of the only days she got dressed and went out that she met Klaus Mikaelson.
Somehow she managed to be in the grill at the wrong time and managed to both witness and experience a supernatural attack. Klaus had thrown Damon across the room which caused him to slam into the wall beside Y/n. Her eyes were wide and she went to walk back out the door but Klaus sped over and grabbed her wrist she she could exit.
"I don't think so sweetheart" he chuckled, pulling her further into the room and she simply couldn't be bothered to struggle. He sat her down in a booth and gave her a fake smile, looking into her eyes and compelling her "Stay still and stay quiet" he ordered before going back and finishing off the rest of the scooby-doo gang.
His eyes flicked back over to the girl he had compelled. Her head lay against the back of her seat and her fingers picked at her lips until the rich scent of her blood reached his nose.
Klaus sped infront of her and he leaned down to pull her hands away, her eyes glanced up at him with anxiety swirling inside of them. His thumb swiped the blood away from her lips and he sucked it off of his skin with a hum. A slither of amusement shone through him as she shifted uncomfortably.
"You can talk now sweetheart, and move as she should please" he told her, interested in her reaction but she barely gave one.
"Can I just go home now please?" She asked, her voice weak and tired. His eyes narrowed briefly before he shrugged and pulled her up.
"Course you can love, come on lets get you back. Point the way" he murmured as he took her outside and placed her infront of him so that she may lead him.
They walked in silence back to her house. She hesitated to go in when the sound of her parents yelling could be heard from where they stood. Klaus observed as she wondered back into the home, her parents oblivious as she slipped past them and up the stairs.
Klaus forgot about her easily, out of sight out of mind.
But then she came into view again, she was sat on the edge of Wickery Bridge with her legs hanging off while she leaned forward daringly.
His brows furrowed and he made his way over. He took a seat beside her, letting his own legs dangle off as well. Again she gave no reaction to his presence, not even when his hand reached out to gently hold her hand. Klaus may not know her or necessarily care for her but he didn't want her life to be seen as a tragedy. He didn't want her to throw what she had away when she could still have so much more.
They sat in silence for some time, sometimes she would swing her legs and lean further forward to see the water below. Each time she shifted closer to falling his grip on her tightened and his gaze hardened.
Later in the night her phone pinged, Klaus glanced to see her mothers name on the screen with a message beneath telling Y/n that neither of her parents would be home for the weekend so she would need to look after herself. His eyes softened as he watched her read the message. Both brows rose on his face when without a care, she tossed the device into the river.
Klaus couldn't help the little laugh that left him as the water splashed and the light from the phone quickly sunk away from sight. His smile died away again as her gaze didn't lift from the deep flowing water and he hesitantly slid his arm around her to secure his hold.
"I'm not gonna jump" she mumbled but he still frowned
"I don't believe you" he whispered honestly and she hummed.
"You don't know me" she muttered and he tilted his head
"Perhaps not yet" he countered but she didn't offer a response. Klaus sighed softly and carefully dropped down from the edge and back onto the rode, his arm stayed around Y/n's waist so that he could pull her back to safety. She huffed in annoyance as he pulled her along with him.
"I don't know who you are or what you are or what you want.." she dragged and he hummed.
"My name is Niklaus, well thats what my father named me however I choose to go by Klaus, I have for centuries. I'm a vampire-werewolf hybrid and what I want is for my family to be calm and collected for one in the thousand years that I have had the privilege to know them" He grinned at her and she stared blankly at him.
"Okay" she mumbled, accepting her fate.
And from that day on, each time he saw her, he would talk at her and pull her along walks with him. He began bringing her back to his house and going through his plans with her, sometimes she would give advice or little comments to put him on a better track and he found her rather helpful when she wanted to be.
Klaus began to notice more and more about her as time went by. Like how she didn't eat much or change her clothes often. He seemed to have to wait forever outside of her house as though no matter what time he came to see her, she had always just woken up.
So he did what he thought would be good.
Klaus set her up a bedroom in his home with a wardrobe of Klaus and a conjoining bathroom which consisted of both a shower and a bathtub.
He caught on quickly that if he wasn't in the house with her then she didn't bother waking up let alone getting up and doing anything. So he started opening her curtains in the morning, gently waking her up and placing some sort of little breakfast item on her lap and a drink on the nightstand while he ran a bath. He'd sprinkle the bath-salts and pour the bath-soak before folding up a towel and hanging it over the radiator.
Then he would wonder back into her room and lift her up. He had discovered that mornings were especially difficult for her to do anything. She wouldn't talk and she wouldn't move. He was lucky that she felt guilty enough to eat the breakfast he fed her, though sometimes she couldn't physically do it and he would encourage her to drink a smoothie so that she had something healthy in her. But every day, without fail, he would carry her to the bathroom and place her onto the heated tiled floor.
"Can you do it yourself sweetheart?" he would ask each morning, his gaze soft and gentle. Sometimes she would be able to and would get undressed and bathe all by herself. Other times she could get undressed and in the bath but would ask him to come back and help her scrub her skin clean. And of course there were days where she just wouldn't respond at all and he would give soft kisses to her head while carefully, respectfully undressing her and helping her into the tub before cleaning her off and lifting her back out to dry her.
There had been one or two occasions when he had been in a rush or a stressed out mood and would end up being a little rude to her. Her eyes would just grow tireder and little tears would gather to them. Guilt would consume Klaus whole and he would push aside whatever was bothering him and apologise to Y/n while helping her get ready before giving her a soft kiss and promising he would be back to check on her.
For a while the most he would do was just a gentle peck on her lips in an act of comfort however as he continued to look after her, he fell in love with her. He would see how long one of his little kisses would last before she would pull away and he would test how far his hands were allowed to wonder before she would let out a whine and curl away.
Time went by quickly, their routine continued. Klaus would ensure she was up and okay, he would go out to fix his problems, return at some point in the day to give Y/n something to eat, sometimes she would have gone for a walk in the garden or be sat with one of his hybrid who were under strict orders to never lay a hand on her, then he would go back out and return a last time. Then she would sit in his art room with a book or a word search or something to occupy her mind while he painted and spoke to her about all the things he had seen that day and which of them he thinks she would have enjoyed. Often they cooked dinner together and then he would take her back to bed and watch a film before departing to his own room.
A few times he would fall asleep beside her with her head on his chest or in his lap as he leaned against the headboard. Neither ever complained or mentioned the arrangement so Klaus began sleeping there more often and would wake his love with a sprinkle of kisses across her cheeks until her pretty eyes would flutter open for him to see.
Things were going quite well until Klaus had to go away for a couple days to speak with some werewolf packs. He had been skeptic and concerned to leave sweet Y/n all alone but he also knew he had his hybrids and asked them to take care of her. He hadn't known that they were unsired at that point and completely forgot the girl even existed.
Y/n hadn't moved from the spot in her bed since Klaus had left two days before. It only took one glance for Klaus to realise this when he returned. His expression changed in an instant and he was pulling the covers off of her, promising her he wouldn't leave her again.
"It's all okay sweetheart, lets get you to the bathroom okay?" He whispered as he carried her in and sat her down on the toilet while running a bath for her to lay in. "I'm gonna get you some water okay?" he murmured before speeding down to the kitchen and grabbing some water and tossing some pasta into a pan with water and turning the stove on before flashing back upstairs.
He placed the glass down on the side and lifted her back up, pulled her clothed off and lowered her into the bath. His fingers gently wiped the tears away that had slipped down her face before pouring some of the warm water over her hair.
"My sweet girl" he cooed softly, his hands lathering her hair in shampoo. "You're going to be just fine" he murmured, rinsing her hair out and combing conditioner through the ends. He reached for the loofa and began washing her body gently, pouring soap over her shoulders and scrubbing it across her soft skin. "Okay sweetheart, stay right there" he mumbled, zipping back to the kitchen and pouring the pasta into the colander and then back into the pan with a jar of tomato sauce before grating some cheese over the top and grabbing a fork. He brought it up and put it on her bedside table before going back to her bathroom and washing the conditioner out before lifting her out the tub and engulfing her in a warm towel and carrying her to her room. He sat her down on the chair by her vanity and stripped her bedding off and tossed i to the laundry basket. Using his vampiric speed her put clean bedding on and then placed her on top the duvet with a kiss to her head. The towel was taken from her and one of his clean shirts was pulled over her head and he carefully pulled her arms through.
"Alright angel, there you are. Nice and clean my lovely, now we're gonna eat some pasta, okay?" he mumbled, placing her cushioned lap tray onto her lap and then the bowl of pasta and her glass of water. "There we go sweetheart" he smiled softly while stabbing some of the pasta onto the fork and hand feeding her.
Once she ate half of it and drank all of her water he took it away and pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled her and she hid her face in his neck before hesitantly whispering, "Klaus?"
"Yes love?" He hummed, stroking her hair
"I need pants" she uttered and he glanced down, remembering he had only half dressed her.
"Of course sweetheart, forgive me" he replied, quickly grabbing some panties and sliding them up her legs to cover her up. "Perfect" he smiled.
"Thank you" she muttered, looking up at him "I'm sorry" she told him but he shook his head.
"No angel, I'm sorry. I should never have left you all alone." he argued, a frown on his face as he kissed her cheeks and stroked her arms. "You feel like going outside today?" he asked kindly and she shrugged.
He nodded silently and carried her out into the garden, sitting her down on the soft grass so that she was surrounded by the flowers. He wondered over to the strawberries growing a little way over and picked a couple before bringing them over to her with a smile. She returned it with warmth and giggled when he held them to her lips for her to take a bite.
He sat down beside her and pulled her into his side. She lay her head on his shoulder and held onto his hand. Klaus rest the side of his face against the top of her head and watched at the trees swayed in the distance.
"I love you Y/n" he whispered, his voice delicate and airy as the words met her ear. Her hand squeezed his and he smiled.
"I love you too" she told him quietly and he kissed her head, she then lifted it to face him and pressed her lips to his. Klaus felt his expression soften as he kissed her back and interlaced their fingers. Their lips parted and he rest his forehead against hers,
"I'll never leave you alone" he told her.
"You promise?" she whispered, her voice shaky.
"I promise."
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xoxochb · 5 months ago
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Hii, I really love your writings like sm and i saw you do a request from someone that was based from “the alchemy” by Taylor swift so I was wondering if you could do a percy jackson x reader or fem!reader but now like base on “you are in love” by Taylor swift?
Like at the start the reader and percy are js bsf at first, then percy confessed his feelings, but the reader is scared of commitment bc of like (perhaps seeing reader’s own father cheat and like seeing people dear to her get heartbroken and she’s scared she will experience the same) and stuff
but still gives percy a chance (so it’s the “for once you let go of your fears and ghosts, one step not much but it said enough” part of the song) and our boy proves that he will never do anything that will hurt reader and loves her like so so much (“you kiss on side walks you fight, then you talk. One night he wakes, a strange look on his face. Pause, then says ‘you’re my bestfriend’ and u knew what it was he is in love” part LIKE YK JS ANY CUTE STUFF and like maybe at that part percy says how much he loves the reader and everything🤭) Just percy being the perfect best boyfriend ever honestly and change stuff if you can or want to make this better!!:)
If this is too much I totally understand and you can ignore this but I really hope you do this request 😭💗
⋆·˚ ༘ * you are in love, true love
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warnings: none
pairing: percy jackson x fem reader
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you were scared to say the least. it may be because your best friend percy jackson is giving you a strange look, or perhaps because he is standing insanely close to you, you’re unsure, all you know it that you’re horrified
“y/n” he states
“that’s my name” you joke, trying to ease the tension
he laughs lightly, “you’re my best friend”
oh gods you know what this is- but it can’t be, this can’t happen.
you avert your eyes to the ground, then take a glance at your dirty converse. you know what he’s trying to say but you choose to act like you don’t
“I am” is the only thing you can think to say
“that’s not what I mean” he takes your hands in his, and you’re eyes now move to your intertwined hands
you don’t say anything, instead just let him elaborate so you can see if your suspicions are correct
the next three words he says shock you- they’re something you never thought about hearing, something you’ve sworn off after you spent countless nights comforting a heartbroken friend, sobs being the only thing heard in the room
‘I love you’ is what he says
you force yourself to pretend that’s not what he said, but your pounding heart gives it away. you wanted to hear this, you did, but you knew it was for the better if you pushed it away, trying to save yourself from a broken heart
but you love him, you really do, and it hurts you to see him with such a sad look on his face when you don’t reply
“I love you percy” you whisper “but I don’t know if I can do this”
now he’s the one who goes quiet. you know that he knows about your commitment issues, he had even prepared himself for you to turn him down once he confessed his feelings, but he still can’t help but feel disappointed in himself for thinking even a little bit that you would accept his confession of love
“oh” is all he says
you frown at his saddened demeanor “I’m just scared”
“y/n/n, I don’t want to seem desperate, but I really love you, and I promise, I swear it on the river styx I will never do anything to hurt you. I don’t know if that’s enough for you to fully believe me, but I do mean it. Nothing on this earth could make me ever even think of doing anything to harm you in any way, and if some day I was ever to do any harm to you I will allow you to brutally murder me” he says the last part with a laugh before continuing, “but I just don’t think I could ever live without seeing you ever day, you mean a lot to me”
oh how could you say no to him? was a boy really worth a broken heart though? maybe not a boy, no, but percy jackson- your percy jackson, the one that always protected you, the one that never did hurt you in all of the years you knew him, the one that had quite literally killed for you. you knew that he held your heart since the day you met, and you also knew that he would never drop it, but instead intertwine it with his own, two souls bound together for eternity
you look up and take a last glance into his sea green eyes before pulling him in for a kiss, and it was one you wouldn’t trade for the world
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etherealkissed88 · 7 months ago
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I don't know if you've already made a post about this, but I wanted to ask: How can I be more positive about the protests, not being a privileged person? I'm not the prettiest, I'm not the smartest, I'm not rich (in fact I want to manifest better conditions), I feel mentally exhausted. I'm kind of just desperate to manifest a better life for myself and my family, but I feel so negative about it. I feel like I'm just going to become another one of the statistics about poor people; Sometimes I question the results of certain people, because I actually don't know if they are already privileged in a certain way, whether it's because she's pretty, smart or has money. Some people who talk about staying positive, manifest, selfcare, are privileged people, not rich people, but people with excellent financial and psychological conditions; I'm sad, because I really don't have money for self-care or therapy, I feel guilty, sad and insufficient because I don't have enough money:(
do not pretend these circumstances arent there. realize that you are self that chooses what to accept as true. yes, you have a choice. what you should do is become indifferent to what you experience. yes it is in the 3d but “it doesnt affect who i am and what version of myself i choose to be.”
i think the reason why u may be getting a mental burn out is because you are trying to persuade or force yourself to believe that what your human self is experiencing in the 3d, is not there. again - indifference. another important concept is the nuetral 3d. it never has original meaning. we give it meaning.
i know how you feel about being tired of life - and from my experience, i was so tired of living a life i didnt like that it motivated me to actually apply the law and use my power to get what i want. the law is always working for you so you are always in control, and when you live this “negative” life, it is you - the operant power, allowing yourself to stick in this “negative” life. you are choosing to be this version of you who lives like this. you are being the one who is living that.
know that it is not - the 3d shows me something -> then i become a version of me / i embody a version of me which matches the 3d. it will always be, i am a version of me -> the 3d follows that bc i am the 3d. signs follow, they do not precede.
you cannot let what you see influence who you become. bc who you become is why you are seeing what you see. who you are being is why you see what you see through that perspective, thro that state.
a lot of ppl have manifested great things and complete transformations without being privileged at first. stop focusing on other success stories and make yourself the success story. success story = changing self!
for the feelings of guilt and sadness, allow yourself to feel that bc emotions are human nature. what you shouldnt do is feel like those emotions are ruining anything, or try to suppress these emotions, or make imaginary and “negative” stories out of those emotions. they are always neutral!
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when you are experiencing bad things, so what you need to do to make ends meet in the 3d such as getting a job to get that money you want. whatever you do shouldnt intertwine with the rich version of you that you are being. you can do whatever you want in the 3d while being/knowing you have what you want already. but you do not self-sabotage your human self because you think that doing stuff in the 3d will “ruin your manifestation”. example: you are broke in real life so you get a job while being the version of self who is already rich. it doesnt matter what you experience in the 3d bc all that matters is who self is being. if you didnt take that job but you are struggling financially, there is still the human self to take care of (you need money for food, shelter, etc) so again, nothing you do in the 3d matters as long as you are changing self.
to wrap up: it doesnt matter what you see in the 3d. clearly you claim: you arent the prettiest or smartest or richest. thats the issue. you are accepting those versions of you. you are being those versions of you.
& “how to be more positive?” : decide you are positive and happy. i can recommend visualizing yourself living the life you want and eventually you will fulfill yourself and be this new version of you.
skim this for other questions: 🧼
- cutie jani
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winterrrnight · 8 months ago
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rafe noticing how you usually hide your real emotions behind a pretty smile and an interactive personality… <3 a bsf!rafe cameron x gn!reader blurb <3 based off this cw: talks about bottling up emotions, venting, lower case is intentional, aaaand this is again super self indulgent :p for @zyafics because we had a little chat on this :) (love you bae 💗)
rafe loved to see your smile. he loved how you were always so sweet to everyone, always laughing, always making sure everyone around was doing okay, frequently checking up on them, and genuinely being a sweetheart.
but it didn’t go unnoticed when he one day saw you sitting all alone in the university library, your head resting in your hands as you looked… sad, your brows furrowed as if you’re thinking of something deeply, and you continued to scribble randomly over a page.
he contemplated going up to you or not, but the frown on your face was concerning considering he almost never saw you frown that way.
that day, he let it slide.
another few days later, he saw you again. you were sitting in the grassy lawn of your university with your back against a tree, your knees to your chest as you looked at nothing in particular. a similar frown was etched on your face and your brows were furrowed just like the last time, and it looked like you’re deep in thought.
this time though, he wasn’t going to let it slide.
he strided over to you, and you heard the crunchy footsteps and turned to see rafe approaching you. your lips were immediately pulled into a smile as he sat down next to you.
“what’s up?” you asked, smiling at him.
he shook his head. “nothing much, what are you doing here all alone?” he asked you.
“oh, nothing really,” you said, turning to look out at the outstretched lawn again. “just chillin’, had a heavy day of classes today,”
“alright,” he mumbled, but his gaze didn’t leave your face. he kept on studying you, and saw how quickly your face had changed from the frown to the smile.
“how’s everything else though?” he asked, cutting through the silence.
“all good,” you said, and that smile just didn’t seem to leave your face at all.
“you sure?” he pressed.
you turned to look at him. “yes rafe,” you rolled your eyes. “all’s well. why wouldn’t it be?”
he shrugged his shoulders, not breaking your eye contact as he looked into your eyes very carefully, hoping to catch a glimpse of something which you didn’t show. “just wonderin’, ’s all,” he muttered. “you just… you just look like you would want to talk about something. a lot, actually,”
“huh?” you hummed confusedly as your brows furrowed a bit – but it’s not the furrow you had when you were too deep in thought.
rafe sighed, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “I’m just saying that if anything ever troubles you, absolutely anything, I’m here for you alright? I’m not one to force someone to open up right at the moment, but I can say from first hand experience that bottling things up never works; it just hurts more in the long run. so, I’m not forcing you to talk right now, but I’d suggest you do it sooner rather than later,” he exhaled as his gentle words settled in. “I know something’s bothering you, I can see it in your eyes… and I want you to stop doing that alright?”
he took in your current facial expression; your eyes were slightly wide, and the faintest amount of tears formed at your waterline. when he saw you weren’t saying anything, he knew he had hit the right spot.
“again,” he started, “I’m not forcing you to talk right now okay? and it doesn’t even necessarily have to be me who you talk to. it can be anyone you really trust. but I’m telling you that I’m one of the people who you can freely trust alright?” he smiled softly as he leaned in and gently kissed your forehead.
he took a glance at his watch before turning to look back at you. “I’ve got to run now, we’ve got some fancy family dinner I need to be home for,” he said softly. “but feel free to text me or call me okay?” he smiled, before getting up from the grass next to you and walking away, leaving you alone as tears slowly made their way down, realising you’ve been noticed in a way you never were.
— —
if you find yourself relating to this in any way, please know that help is always available, and that you never should have to think twice before talking about feelings and things that bother you to a loved one <3 take lovely care of yourself and prioritise your mental health as best as you can 💞
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jungwnies · 1 year ago
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syn ' a-z alphabet (nsfw) jeon jungkook pairing ' bf!jungkook x gn!reader
i am so unbelievably down bad for jk right now, so this is in honor of seven and my current weakness in the knees for him?!?!?!
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a ⋆ aftercare - (how he is after sex)
BOY.... YOU KNOWWW he is taking care of you well
cleaning you up
cuddling you
just know that aftercare he gives is TOP tier
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT HE WILLLLL be treating you right ;)
b ⋆ body part - (his favorite body part)
you lips
your thighs
your ass
literally every part of your body he loves
c ⋆ cum - (anything to do with cum)
he comes on your stomach
or in you
if you don't want to fuck raw then he opts for the stomach
but he prefers coming in you
he likes seeing his seed spill out of you
d ⋆ dirty secret - (his dirty secret)
he loves when you beg
it's the virgo in him
he loves seeing you under his control
like seeing you so down bad for him
and just so submissive
he loves it
e ⋆ experience - (how experienced is he?)
girl
he knows what he's doing that's for sure
he doesn't have a lot of bodies
but he's been in committed relationships before
and the sex never fails to please
f ⋆ fav position - (sex position)
missionary for sure
loves being able to see your face
but sometimes he just wants to do doggy and shove your face into the pillow
g ⋆ goofy - (how he acts in the moment)
he's not goofy okay
but he isn't serious
he's very very
romantic
he's about making sure you're pleased
h ⋆ hair - (how groomed is he?)
he is very well groomed
but he isn't ... bald down there
there's hair there
but not a lot
it's trimmed
not completely gone though
i ⋆ intimacy - (how passionate is he?)
very passionate
like i said
he's a romantic
j ⋆ jack off - (how often he masturbates)
like once or twice a week if you're not there
but if you're there
then never
unless it's mutual
k ⋆ kink - (one or more)
lowkey sadistic???
he kind of enjoys hearing your sobs
or when you cry for him
but if you're genuinely hurt or sad
then he will be there for you
but if you're just in tears cus the sex is
THAT good
then he's super into it
l ⋆ location - (fav place to do it)
the bedroom
sometimes in the car
but mainly in the bedroom
or just anywhere in the house
m ⋆ motivation - (what keeps him going)
your moans
your cries
your sounds
the way you moan his name
it's like fucking music to his ears
n ⋆ no - (something he would NOT do)
would neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
do anything like somnophilia
he's just not into that
if he's going to fuck you
you're going to be awake
o ⋆ oral - (giving + receiving — is he good?)
he goes crazy
especially when he's giving
HE GOES CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and when he's receiving
his basically fucks your throat
god
god
god
god
oh my god
p ⋆ pace - (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
rough yet sensual
he goes hard
but not fast
q ⋆ quickie - (his opinion on it + how often they happen)
all the time
on set
before award shows
when people say he has the "we just fucked look"
it's real
because you guys literally just fucked
r ⋆ risks - (is he willing to experiment, does he take risks, etc.)
yes
he is willing to experiment for you
he will risk it all for you
but he sets boundaries
and he respects yours
anything you both are down to do will be done
s ⋆ stamina - (how long can he last?)
he lasts pretty long
but it's not round and round
it's like
longgggg foreplay
and longggg sex
he takes his time
he wants you to feel good
stimulated in every part >.>
t ⋆ toys - (does he use/own any?)
no not really
he's kind of into teasing you in public
it makes it easy to get you to finish shopping
u ⋆ unfair - (how much does he tease?)
A MOTHER FUCKIN LOT
that's all i have to say
he teases a lot ok?
v ⋆ volume - (how loud is he + what noises does he make?)
he moans loudly
he's very vocal about how he feels
not growls but groans fs
just always says your name
and is like
fuck
yes
baby
i love it
fuck
yeah... ANYWAYS NEXT???
w ⋆ wild card - (random headcanon for him)
he thinks about marriage and kids the second he looks at you
he's never been one to think that far into the future
but the second he realized he loved you aka the second he looked at you
he just fell immediately
it's like his whole future flashed before his eyes lol
x ⋆ x-ray - (what’s under his clothes?)
he's not long
he's not thick
he's average
like ngl it's not that big
but it gets bigger when he's hard
so it makes up for those lost inches
we all know he's built
the abs the muscles
he's works out
very nice bod
we all know this yes?
y ⋆ yearning (how high is his sex drive?)
everyday he is down to do it
but he doesn't actually do it everyday
as long as you're open to it
then he is also open to it
it's above avg. but not high
z ⋆ zzz - (how quickly does he sleep after?)
not quickly
he has a hard time sleeping tbh
he falls asleep quick but he doesn't always feel the need to sleep
he sleeps once he knows you're comfortable
and he will be able to sleep once you wrap your arms around him
and tell him you love him
duh
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NSFT Alphabet: Weeping Clown
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I didn't forget! Hereeeeee Weepy! (someone pls hug him). Btw idk much about his lore so most of this is based on vibes (i want to kiss him vibes)
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
If this man is not out like a light (poor stamina), he beaming like a bright af light bulb. He is very exhausted and can't do much but he is very cuddly after. Definitely needy.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On himself, not much. Poor guy has low self-esteem and only likes what you like about him. On you, your face. You are his sun, so bright in his eyes and painfully aware others bask in your radiance (help him).
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Weepy matches what you like about him. Do you want it inside? Okay! Outside? Okay! Want him to clean up his mess with his mouth? Okay!
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Pegging, no I will not explain.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Weepy is a virgin. He knows only the barest minimum from listening in on conversations but other than he knows nothing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Oh this sweet summer boy only will do missionary unless told otherwise.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
I think he is very serious in a romantic way, he is trying really hard to be perfect. You gotta help him loosen up. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I think it is a bush, he never thought to groom it down or shave it— Unless you tell him too, he will do anything for you (god help him). Ngl i love the idea of his red hair being from him dying it and that his natural hair is either a light brown or dark brown so the drapes might not match the carpet.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
A wet dog looking at you with sad eyes and a slowly wagging tail (he is trying)
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He has a lot 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Love (if he was into kink it would be puppy play, yall not ready for that convo lol)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His room he needs the lights off too (help this guy)
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
So weepy does not come off to me as someone who is often turned on. He will naturally want attention then believes maybe sex is the response he so have. I think he just matches your mood though after a while
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Anything painful, he probably won't do bdsm related things (he is vanilla)
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Giving, not even joking he wants to go down on you as many times as he possibly can. Giving that hot pathetic face (noice)
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Due to him being inexperienced, he is slow and has no rhythm. So you need to set the pace
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He will do a quickie but only if you start it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
Again, bdsm probably will scare him. However, because he lacks self esteem, he bends to whatever you want. So… he is vanilla, it is what it is. No for this.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Low, he apologetic about it too
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He has no idea what this is but definitely use it if you want to train him to last longer
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
You gotta be a bit unfair with him, he begs pretty 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Weepy is very embarrassed, he tries hard to be quiet but it is so hot how he sounds so lol sing baby!
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He is not Mike who is playful and funny or Margaretha who is naturally seductive and playful, because of his self esteem and lack of confidence he looks to you heavily for guidance. Weepy is the sort of partner you need to have prior relationship experience with. He comes off needy and desperate to please, it is very much mental health issues related and you need to both be ready for that and in a good place to be ready to put a lot of work into this. Yeah you are playing therapist, parent, and lover; there will be struggles— Weepy will try though to the best of his ability. Again you gotta be ready to walk into this relationship with him.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
… bet you think it's big huh sorry smol cock king here
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Oh this guy you think it would be high with how desperate he is but nope, he needy for intimacy but intimacy does not mean sex (teach him that omg)
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Fast af he out, gone to the world with a light snoring 
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monakisu · 4 months ago
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rating oil paintings i did in high school based on their likability (to Me) ⊙▂⊙
light study 💡 - the earliest one out of all of these bcuz i technically painted it in middle school but then went back in HS to add the seagulls and boat so i could fit it into the theme of my AP art portfolio LMAOOO but still one of my favorites, which is sorta sad cuz it’s so old… 9/10
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filial love - honestly didn’t care for this one very much because it was meant to just be more fodder for my AP portfolio but turns out my mom likes it a lot!! she says it reminds her of “the lion of judah ✝️” (whoever that is) so i was happy to give it to her! she displays it in her room so her fondness really carries this one’s rating: 10/10
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play nice with your brother!! 🐻‍❄️ - i like this one a lot! because it’s one of the only paintings my hardass art teacher let me use neon colors on (or at least as neon as u can get with oil paint). usually he just paints over my colors to make them grayer. that guy… otherwise this one is just not very interesting. 8/10
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koi pond 🎏 - PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT I MEAN when he paints over my stuff with gray!!! i was so excited to paint this one and added all sorts of flair that i like—pink dots as leaf highlights, super detailed colorful water—AND THEN HE JUST WENT AND SMEARED ALL MY DETAILS 💀💀💀 so i Hate this one and avoid looking at it as much as possible. 0/10 below it is a version from a diff angle that i did in an hour with shitty free acrylic verrryyy recently in college, and u can just see how i went ham on the colors right?! eugh. what could’ve been… 🪦
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with heavy heart ❤️ - a pretty big old lady (18x24”). i feel obligated to like her because she won me the congressional competition for my district so i got to go to the capitol to see her framed there and briefly meet my stale white bread representative but HONESTLY all i can think about is how hideous my makeup was at the time and i get upset. 🙁 i do think this granny is very pretty though!! 7/10
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my ocean blue 🪼 - this one im not sure if i like it or only tolerate it. i just wanted to paint a super colorful coral reef!! "🐠🪸🫧" you know?? but my mom and teacher said it Needed a message for ~intrigue~ so they brainstormed together (without me) and made me add this random ass child with a VR headset smack dab in the middle… something about cyberreality? IDK i just want her ass gone so badly. i also never got around to finishing the stripes on that fish in the front but nobody calls me out on it so it's whatever 🤷‍♂️ LOL 4/10
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radial self portrait 🎯 - HUGE DEVIATION IN STYLE not only bcuz this one’s gouache instead of oil but also because i got to paint without an old man (art teacher) hovering over my shoulder!!! 😸 it was my first time painting something super stylized and i realized that painting can actually be Not Agonizing!!! 😸😸 this was at my summer camp where we had to come up with a radial pattern using a compass (i hate that little pointy shit) and then combine it with our self portrait. it’s me having a headache! i painted this in a single stressful sleepless night because i have HORRIFIC time management when i’m left alone so it’s pretty sloppy. also at the time i had those blonde e-girl bangs hahaha… i still like this one a lot!! i was just SO happy i didn't have to go photorealistic AND i could use my favorite colors (mainly hot pink)!!! 10/10 😸
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overall my high school painting in experience was spent beefing with my art teacher and inhaling paint fumes. sort of miserable honestly -_-
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