#so please do your research to the extent that you CAN before freaking out and/or sending your whole tlist studies like this one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

superphlyduskull · 3 years ago

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Alright so I did a little research to see how scientifically sound this AU I thought of would be and from what i can tell, it's sound as long as all visible light passes through them AND is not bent (otherwise they'd be transparent but visible, like water or glass). (Since it's a fitting name in multiple ways, I'll call it the invisible spectrum AU)

After some very convoluted mental gymnastics and turning my brain to scrampled egg, I realized that that doesn't contradict really anything about what I had already established about the AU. I had a huge chunk of this post written before realizing that all these things that i thought needed changing..... don't need changing at all. Anyway, I've got some further thoughts!

I was thinking about how it doesn't make much sense if ghosts reflect light that makes them visible to non-human animals if they're trying to be invisible, right? But it kinda does make sense considering the ghosts that come to Earth generally have more reason to be invisible to humans over anything else. Some might go to the trouble of hiding themselves from pets as well, humans are a priority to hide from

The practice of letting light pass through one's body (a type of partial intangibility) is also an entirely different skill from making sure the light doesn't bend. There were plenty of times when Danny was practicing being invisible, only for Tucker or Sam to say "sorry, bud, you are transparent but we can still see you"

There is a currently undetermined baseline for ghostly vision; most sighted ghosts are able to see parts of UV and infrared at least, and can usually perceive other parts of the invisible spectrum—gamma rays, x-rays, and radio waves—in some way, to some extent. If ghosts can perceive and manipulate radio waves, it explains EVPs! Cue Danny learning how to talk through radio waves so he can freak out amateur ghost hunters. Not that that's a new idea, it's just fun to think of the possible science behind the lore!

Another thing I think would be very interesting is if ghosts can control what light passes through them and what's reflected, but if they can control what they absorb as well. They could absorb all visible light and be pitch black, largely shapeless mass; Vlad with his heat/fire core could absorb more light to power up and look terrifying or at least be hard to read at the same time. It probably wouldn't be good for Danny with his ice core, but I imagine he'd do it at least sometimes to mock Vlad if nothing else lmao

(All I can picture with the above is Vlad in some cryptid pose, pitch black with only his eyes glowing, very mothman-esque jslshdksjshkdj)

The range of light they can pass through and reflect is dependent on how strong and/or complex the ghost is, and also on their core type. Range refers both to how much and which wavelengths. Weak ghosts like blob ghosts only have a sliver about the size of the visible spectrum that they can do this with, and aren't always very good at keeping light from bending. Meanwhile more powerful ghosts like Clockwork can do it with most or all wavelengths. Ghosts that spend time around humans often prioritze passing visible light through if they can

As i mentioned above, core type also has an effect on the wavelengths ghosts can manipulate; ice core ghosts tend to be more sensitive to perceiving and manipulating certain ranges of UV light, as it's very useful in locations like the Arctic. Heat/fire cores are more sensitive to infrared. These ranges are also weak spots to the other. Danny has limited infrared perception, so Vlad can be invisible to him, but the opposite is also true; Vlad has limited UV perception, so Danny can be invisible to him.

Then, I think my favorite idea so far in this AU, there are ghosts only visible as radio waves! so Danny has to either be a translator for Sam, Tucker, and Jazz, or they need to talk to the ghosts through radios! And some of those ghosts even Danny has a difficult time seeing, but he can usually at least sense and hear them just fine.

I don't know much about gamma and x-rays, but I'll do some research sometime and see if I can figure out some ideas for ghosts that mostly use those wavelengths!!!

I also thought more about Danny being able to see new wavelengths as a human, but not being able to process them as new colors (just weird combinations or patterns) due to his human biology, and I thought about how he'd describe them when asked.

Some UV: "purple but more and also fuzzy"

One of the few infrared wavelengths he can see: "angry red"

A collection of radio frequencies: "TV static but organized? no, kinda like those optical illusion things that make your vision go all weird? I dunno, can we get back to the fight at hand please—"

For a second I was wondering if there was really much to this AU aside from the mental image of Danny being the bug whisperer, but this is turning out to have more potential than I thought!!

#danny phantom #tucker foley #sam manson #vlad masters #danny fenton #vlad plasmius #invisible spectrum au #headcanon #au #jazz fenton

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akakeiiji · 4 years ago

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How Kuroo,Suga,Bokuto and Akaashi would react to their S/O who is menstruating please 😳😊

-`,✎ Kuroo, Suga, Bokuto, and Akaashi’s reaction to you menstruating

Omg this was so fun to write tho it reminded me that I haven’t had my period for 2 months now, I’m torn between celebrating and getting worried

This features a gender neutral reader who is able to menstruate btw!

Kuroo is surprisingly very very knowledgeable about periods and menstruation

He grew up with an older sister and is pretty well versed with the whole shebang

And he does a butt-ton of research when he started dating you because he wants to be ready for anything

He won’t realize that you’re on your period right away, only when you show the typical symptoms like mood swings and cramping

He will tease you a bit and coo at you like a little baby

“Awww, no wonder my little (Y/N) was so cranky this morning~”

You’d think that that would be the extent of his reaction to you being on your period but he surprises you later during the day when he hands you a bag full of your favorite snacks and chocolates

He knows just what you need and will definitely run trips to the convenience store for you when you need anything

Kuroo isn’t one of those boys that get all squirmy and awkward when he has to buy pads or tampons for you at the store; he’s actually really proud when he struts to the cashier with a basket full of menstruation products because he didn’t know which one was best so he decided to just play it safe and get them all

Whenever he has questions that can’t be answered on the internet he always calls his sister instead of you because he always wants to impress you and show you how your boyfriend is so knowledgable and thoughtful

He’s also the type to have your preferred menstrual products in his room and bag for you whenever you need it, he is super prepared

If you’re ever at home and complain about how crappy you feel because of your periods through the phone, Kuroo will definitely show up at your door unannounced no matter how late it is with even more snacks, goodies, and pain meds

Again, he did a lot of research on how to deal with stuff like cramps, migraines, back pain, etc so he does his best to help alleviate whatever is bothering you

We love a good science nerd 🥺💕

KOUSHI IS THE ABSOLUTE KING

He isn’t that knowledgable on periods and stuff and he probably won’t realize why you’re acting so differently until you tell him straight up that it’s leak week

Although this is the first time he’s ever had to deal with periods he’s actually really comfortable with the topic and is always eager to learn more

He’d go to you more and ask you lots of questions instead of relying solely on the internet because he wants to know what it’s like for you; what things you crave, what symptoms you experience, what helps you on your period and all that sort of stuff

He already spoils the hell out of you on a daily basis but his coddling and advances somehow triple when he finds out about your period

He practically empties Ukai’s store after he found out; he bought you all your favorite snacks, the meds you said helped the most, and heating pads

He will also definitely go to runs at the store for products you need, you just need to text him and he’s already out the door

Though once he is at the store he will literally be so friggin stumped, he will stand by the menstrual products aisle for so long staring at the rows and rows of pads and tampons to choose from before sending you a picture of the shelf with a text saying “What size is your vajayjay?”

Yes, Suga says vajayjay, you can fight me on this

Though Suga is really comfortable with talking about periods and stuff, he’s actually pretty squeamish and is a bit scared of blood so just knowing that you have to go through the trials and tribulations that is menstruation makes him so sad

He always wishes he can help more especially with the pain and this usually translates to more cuddling and affection, which he thinks isn’t much but always helps you in the end

He is also a strong believer that kisses and cuddling will definitely help the pain go away so expect a lot of that when you’re on your period

SURPRISE PEOPLE BUT OUT OF THESE FOUR, HE IS PROBABLY THE BEST WHEN DEALING WITH PERIODS

In all of Haikyuu, he is only second to Nishinoya (he has three older sisters) when handling their s/o’s menstruation, which may seem hard to believe but listen:

Bokuto is the youngest in his family and he grew up with two older sisters, both of which he loves and cherishes and treats like absolute queens

When his sisters were on their periods, he was always there for them; he got them pads, got them chocolate, heating pads—whatever it was that they needed

He grew up knowing how to deal with periods, what to buy, what to expect, it doesn’t freak him out at all

Over the years he just developed a sixth sense for these sort of things so you didn't need to tell him you were on your period, he just knew

“Oh, babe, are your cramps bad? Is it your first day?”

“How do you know—” Shushes you and just hands you a heating pad

The man just k n o w s

He was also super nonchalant about it, he didn’t make a big deal out of it at all; he asked you a few questions like what products you preferred to use and what symptoms you experienced and he was so well-informed that it was a bit shocking

“My eldest sister gets really bad cramps too, heating pads and pain meds help a lot, but she says that drinking herbal tea is also really effective. We should make some later, I’ll buy some at the store!”

He’s super patient with you and doesn’t get affected by your mood swings

But if you cry, he will definitely without a doubt cry with you too

He’s always so sweet and doting with you and this doesn’t change when it’s shark week, in fact, he only gets even sweeter

He’ll always insist that you should sit back and rest; if you need water, he’ll get a whole gallon if you want, if you’re hungry, then you best believe that he’s gonna buy you all your favorite foods, if you feel cranky then he’ll give you some space, if you’re needy then he’ll cuddle the shit out of you

Everything that you experience during your period is something Kou has already dealt with with his sisters, he is an expert at this point

His sisters raised him right okay? He treats you like an absolute deity 25/8 and he does so happily

Akaashi is surprisingly pretty clueless when it comes to menstruation at the beginning of your relationship

He’s an only child and was mostly surrounded by males throughout his life and he never really talked about menstruation with his friends who menstruated so he was never educated on the topic

He knew the basic stuff like how blood came out of your coochie and you might get cranky but that’s really the extent of his knowledge

So when you got your period a few weeks into your relationship with Akaashi, he completely misread the situation and thought you were mad at him

It was another case of over proportionally analyzing everything for Akaashi overthinking gang whats up 🤧✋

Why are you suddenly so cranky? Why the sudden change of moods? Why are you always going to the bathroom?? Are you avoiding him?? Do you want to break up???

His overthinking got the best of him in this situation as much as he tried not to

He obviously goes to talk to you about it because Akaashi is a mature king and he got so confused when you just started laughing at him

Once you finally explained it to him he felt like such a fool, he ended up laughing with you which was a majestic sight pls cherish it

He felt really apologetic for jumping to conclusions and wanted to make up for his lack of knowledge, he immediately began learning as much as he could; he researched on the internet, borrowed some books from the library, and called some of his friends (this included Bokuto, he knew his best friend was the expert)

He’d probably go on those forums where people would exchange tips to one another for helping their S/O’s when they were on their period

He would keep everything he learned on his phone’s notes app because he didn’t want to forget anything

It doesn’t take long for him to get a hang on the whole period shebang but once he does he is an absolute angel sent from the heavens

He makes everything so easy for you, he’s just so thoughtful and considerate

He’s the type to keep track of your cycle, he’d probably download an app or mark it on his calendar so that he’ll be able to get ready for when it starts

He’s extremely patient and is unaffected by your mood swings, you can snap at him, coddle him, cry with him and he’ll handle it like usual, it’s not that different from dealing with Bokuto

He’s also really observant so even if you don’t say anything he’ll know if you need anything, my man will happily bend over backward for you please cherish him

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vermilionstarlight · 7 months ago

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Op, you're correct to an extent but there's a degree of nuance being left out here. Roleplay and fiction in general CAN be materially harmful (be it through a ttrpg, or kink roleplay, or a theatre show).

But it doesn't have to be. It can and should be treated with respect for the harm that it can cause. Like with any kink, research should be done on the kink! Responsible kinksters already know this applies for personally dangerous kinks (choking, blood play), but too many people often ignore the more insidiously dangerous kinks. Acknowledgement of the harm it can cause, and effort to prevent that harm, is important.

If you're actually roleplaying kink with another person, for example, it would be best to go into it being aware of the harm you can accidentally cause with it. Before you even propose the kink to your partner, be aware of any trauma that they or their loved ones may have experienced that could hurt them. Don't be afraid to communicate your desires (PLEASE always communicate your desires and expectations and wants and needs), but do so delicately and with care if the situation calls for it. Listen to your partner and be prepared for a no. If you end up doing it, have safe words or establish specific topics that can't be gone over (e.g. "we can do incest play but don't pretend to be a father, it upsets me).

If you're writing a story, crafting a TTRPG campaign, or creating some other work of fiction for literary purposes, then you also have responsibility. Research the effects this trauma has on people, maybe even from blog posts or somesuch from actual victims. Read up on psychological studies, and remain aware that despite how narratively satisfying or useful it can be, this is still a horrific act when done to someone, and needs to be treated with respect. Additionally, tag your fucking work, at least on regards to heavily triggering shit like that.

If you're writing a story on such subjects for jack off reasons, then you aren't necessarily going to be portraying the realistic effects of such horrible things (unless the awful aftermath is specifically your thing, in which case good for u). Instead, your primary responsibilities as a porn/erotica artist regarding shit like rape or incest (at least in my opinion) is to Tag Your Shit Properly, and to add a disclaimer to each instance of art. Be it in an author's note, or a pinned comment, or the front page of a fic, just saying that this is all fiction and should stay that way, and that the acts described are not and never will be acceptable to do in real life. That's all you really can do, at that point you must put trust in the reader or viewer to have the barest sliver of moral fiber, and that's not the artist's responsibility.

Oh, one last thing I almost forgot. You really kinda do have to accept people like that? You don't have to be their friends or hang out with them, but you have to accept them on a more fundamental level. Not treat them like they're inherently vile and disgusting monsters. But you have to educate them and encourage them to be informed and responsible. Because do you know what happens when you demonize all the REAL freaks? The incest-shippers, and AO3 zoophiles, and rape-fetishists, and no-contact pedos? They get pushed away.

And because they are demonized and reviled and disgusted, eventually they tend towards the most common places that accept them. Little enclaves of ACTUAL monstrousness, formed by the people that weren't just harmless and kept it to responsibly produced fiction. These little enclaves were formed by the people that believe their desires are correct and should be acted upon, and the world is suppressing their natural inclinations.

So, all of these kinksters and fic-writers are pushed away, and like humans do they will often latch on to the only community they know of that doesn't despise them. And as we all know from TV Diversity, being around people will slowly make you more accepting of them. Kind of hard for a human to keep on insisting to themselves that this guy online has horrible beliefs and is a bad person when he's your friend Gator that plays his guitar really well in discord calls in the evenings and sings along with everybody and constantly sends new gardening shit he found in general chat. It's kind of hard to keep in mind how horrible his beliefs are when you don't feel like anyone or anywhere else would accept you for who you are.

This is the same story that plays in so many other places, including the right wing. It is isolation, then radicalization. Except, for the right, they intentionally pull people in, and try to get them as radicalized as possible. Like a fishing rod, or a whirlpool.

But here? They're not being pulled in, they're being PUSHED in. And the solution is not to push them away harder until they all fuck off and out of your sight. The solution isn't to kill or imprison them (though this stems from my position as an anti-death-penalty and restorative-justice leftie). The solution is to talk to them and inform them and give them an alternative to spiraling into monstrousness. Show them that they don't have to be a monster.

For any given individual? You have no personal obligation to educate or enlighten such people. But you do have a responsibility to be kind and courteous on a basic level. To not immediately demonize them for thoughts in their head, to tell them that as long as they don't hurt people and be responsible then they're still people and still deserving of acceptance.

I do wanna clarify, I'm not accusing you of anything, op. I don't know you or what your beliefs are or whatever. I'm more using your post as a springboard for being informative to people. Please don't think I'm attacking you or blaming you for radicalizing people or whatever. You're a stranger on the internet and I know next to nothing about you. I love you forever, as do I all humans on this bitch earth, have a good day <33

i seriously cant do it with this website anymore. like you people will have full on academic discussions on why dungeons and dragons as written has imperialist and colonial themes baked in but you cant understand why incest porn hurts real people? like if tabletop role playing games can perpetuate harmful narratives and stereotypes why does that not apply to erotic role play? whats the goddamn difference?

listen here's the fuckin deal. rape play and incest play and age play and race play* and whatever the fuck else i forgot is materially harmful because it reinforces negative sentiments towards survivors of different kinds of sexual violence (*and fetishizes/dehumanizes Black people). it trivializes it, it increases the stigma and makes it harder to talk about. thats fuckin why.

and the worst part? you fuckers are on here talking about how "oh so incest is suddenly too far for the cannibalism website?" Yes. it is. (and thats a real actual post i read from another real actual human being) sometimes things are taboo for a reason, not because catholics think its bad or whatever.

look, its stupid and malicious to make callout posts for people's harmless kinks, but the problem is, *you* dropped the harmless part. yeah trans women are punished for being sexual in any way, but you have to understand, 99% of these women arent doing anything wrong.

but now, people are just saying "we have to accept everyone no matter how gross or weird their kinks are!" and youre not talking about the trans women who get harassed over like. vore or petplay or actual harmless shit, no its always some shit like "oh well they think we're all freaks anyway, who cares how taboo it is?" it doesnt matter what other people think or dont think about us, that doesnt mean your actions suddenly dont have consequences.

and you know what? even kinks that are fine in a vacuum can still be harmful because thats the nature of fuckin. being alive and interacting with others. like my stuffing kink's all fine and good but id be lying if i said it didnt do harm sometimes. people sometimes push fatphobic bullshit with it and i gotta push back against that shit or else im part of the problem. you understand what im saying?

like you want to dress it up like youre trying to help trans women, but youre not! youre throwing us under the motherfucking bus just so you dont have to accept that youre into some fucked up shit that hurts other real people. youd rather insinuate that actually all us transfems ARE pedos and we should just accept it! BITCH WHAT? that belief about trans women gets us fucking murdered every single goddamn day, and instead of fighting it, you want to use us as a shield? fuck you.

#aw they blocked me.#probably didnt even read the post and assumed i was yelling at them or something #ah well. thats their prerogative #i wanna save this one for later tho. spent too long typing it out to let it just rot forever #monstrance moment #<- (tag i just made up for this specific variety of discourse)

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lordymaru · 4 years ago

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I'm about to refute this entire essay with the simple explanation being:

The only interaction we've seen of these two is when she's a freaking 8 year old. Your self insert shows no boundaries.

And this is probably the last time I'll make a post about the stupidity behind the way the pair is viewed:

Note: I know there's people out there with a brain who ship these two in a more conventional way. In the end you do you, ship whatever you want, no one can prevent you from doing that, just don't be gross about it.

One of the parts being the Significance of their first encounter:

She’s a poor peasant girl who’s suffered immense trauma, suffering, and loneliness. Her initiative to help Sesshomaru came from her generosity

Exactly, she's alone for her family had been killed before her eyes, the villagers treat her like garbage. When she meets Sess he's wounded and simply in a bad state, both mentally and physically. Both of them are, the difference being he's a demon, a powerful one and for him to have ended in such a bad shape only stabbed at his pride- Rin on the other hand is a child, a human tiny child who is vulnerable and to him she poses no threat. Both of them are weak then.

At this point, it’s observable that despite knowing her story, her scars, and her difficulties, humans do not even empathize, let alone sympathize with Rin. It is the feudal era, after all. She’s a young, disabled orphan and the villagers only see her for what she lacks: a voice, a family, and a place of belonging.

Again with your feudal era shit. I can assure you the world is just as ugly today as it was before you and I existed. Next.

When he asks about her bruises, this is the first time anyone had ever afforded her a second glance.

This was a huge step forward for Sess, a huuuuuuge one for he showed interest in another living creature, not just any creature but a human. And for her it was probably like Christmas, for no one had showed her any mercy or interest. Ok you get a point. But oh, boy, how I'm about to spit on the next one:

The audience can see Sesshomaru calculate her body language, recognizing that she is mute. Instead of pressing her further or ignoring her outright, he attempts to comfort her (in his own way), making her feel that it is okay if she chooses not to answer him; that her desire to reply to him should only be a desire, not an obligation. I think, on one hand, that was the first moment of something that would resemble compassion that Sesshomaru had ever administered, trying to put himself in her shoes — if someone had asked him to do something that required, for example, his left arm, he probably would have appreciated them saying “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” so to provide him agency for something that he actually cannot do. And the same goes for Rin. He recognizes her disability, maybe even resonates with it and decides to empower her with a choice. Choice is important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic and it’s a word that will come up often.

Ok why are you comparing the loss of his arm to her not being able to talk? Not all disabilities are the same, you moron. Or am I dumb for thinking this way? If so, feel free to call me out on my lack of common sense kr whatever you wanna call it. Sess physically couldn't do shit with his left arm because well- it was gone! That's a physical disability. Rin had "lost" her voice after what she witnessed and so she wouldn't speak anymore. Have you heard of Psychogenic Dysphonia? If not, you can click here and give it a reading or do your own research. The more you know: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0892199703000158

So you say he "empowers her with a choice" that is "important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic" let me get this straight, a choice because why? She's a child? A female? Because you said so yourself, it's the Feudal Era after all and therefore women had no choice in life, no voice, no agency, no nothing. So he was being magnanimous then? You know... This is where you start edging into the gr00ming territory. Can't you see? No? Alright, moving on.

BRUH WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you fucking good? See how you self insert? Bye. Next

The next time Sesshomaru sees Rin, it is suggested that he actively sought her, whether it be by curiosity or concern for well-being

He did... It is not suggested, he actually did asdfhkl. For both curiosity and he probably was worried. He also states he wants to test out his sword, what a perfect chance to do so for Rin is pretty much dead and that's the only way to make his sword work. So she was both being a guinea pig and an itch he wasn't quite sure how to scratch. Next.

Silence Rin.

Rin screams endlessly, annoying Sesshomaru. Firstly, this is the first time we hear him call her by her name. Secondly, Sesshomaru is visibly annoyed by her noises, however, he does not tell her to “shut up” as he normally would with Jaken or even InuYasha. He simply says “enough of that Rin, stop it.” (In Japanese he says, “Silence, Rin. You make too much noise.”) Even analyzing the Japanese dialogue, it is evidently softer than Sesshomaru’s usual ‘kisama’ (貴樣) manner of speech that we see depicted usually. This is the first time he’s had a companion who is not a demon, someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return. His softer tone is a logical deduction to make.

Ok... "someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return." Bruh... As if he would even consider meeting someone's expectations. Are you sure you're talking about Sess? Another thing is, he always speaks in a calm tone, he rarely yells or loses his composure- he had no reason to be rude to her either, you're excusing his regular behavior simply because she ain't Jaken. Anything else?

Rin doesn't change Sesshomaru overnight, it's a gradual and long process

Well duh!!! Just like you don't lose the pounds you gained from eating in one sit 12 donuts a week ago. Stating the obvious and for what? What's exactly your mf point?

The silence part is important, idk how to tell you there is a power imbalance in their relationship from the moment he tells her to be quiet. He didn't say please, he didn't ask her to, he told her to be quiet. Like a parent would, if I could count the times my mom told me to shush.... That's your first indicator he is not her friend, he is not her equal.

Letting you Be Yourself: The Panther Demon Arc

the first frame the audience sees in the anime sets the scene, painting the Sessshomaru entourage in a serene manner, indicating a level of comfort between group members (episode 75). This is vastly different from our last depiction of Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship. In episode 44, he was unable to withstand her (albeit annoying) childish antics. But here, it’s observable that Sesshomaru can accept her and her package of unconventional fun. Not only does he tolerate and even more so, accept Rin, but he accepts her influence on his vassal, Jaken and allows them to be free around him.

Is called developing patience. I can assure you that when you're a parent or an older bro/sis and your kid/younger sibling is noisy af you either learn to tolerate that or get used to it for kids are kids abd you have to let them be kids. Next.

She's a child, she's not stupid.

The Abducted Rin: Calling her Name

The respect that Sesshomaru shows Rin is insurmountable. However, the InuYasha franchise is clever to portray the subtlety of Sesshomaru’s respect for her. KV on Twitter points out how highly he regards his companion and never relegates her to anything less than the value that she as a person embodies (@KVndie via Twitter). He consistently humanizes her.

He only sees how important she is to him after her ass dies a second time. What do you mean? He respects her enough to not coddle her, she is independent and taught her to be self sufficient from the very start. That's respect. He consistently humanizes her because... She ... Is ... Human! OMG WHAT A SHOCKER!

As Naraku remarks on his hostage to Sesshomaru, "Naturally, the girl you're looking for is not here…,” he continues, “the girl is in custody outside of the castle..." Naraku never makes an attempt to give her personhood, leaving her unnamed, disposable, and relegating her to a mere "girl." But Sesshomaru doesn’t take any of this. He is a cold-hearted Daiyokai, yet he still makes an effort and upholds his principle to refer to her as Rin — not a replaceable “girl.”

Naraku is a mf genius. It didn't quite click until now he wanted to see if she was important or not to him and to what extent. For he planned his moves that way, making people turn against one another. While he wouldn't have made Rin turn against Sess he set everything up so he would end up wanting to kill Kohaku and in doing so, Inugang would have engaged against Sess.

Sesshomaru’s insistence on using Rin’s name isn’t only highlighted in this isolated incident though. It pays off. It is an ongoing theme in their dynamic throughout the series.

That's her name ... How you want him to call her? Baby?

I could go on and on but... This is a fucking essay. And then I stumble against more bullcrap:

The second point I want to highlight here is Sesshomaru’s reaction to Rin’s fall and her risky expedition. At this point, it’s unquestionable that Rin has a special place in his heart.

Of course she has a special spot in his heart. I won't deny that. What worries me is how you're trying to justify the way she's important to him since she was a child. As if his way of seeing her had changed.

I'm gonna disagree by agreeing with you in a few pointers. Kagome and Kikyo were rivals, they both romantically love the same guy. Kagome being the only one who could save Kikyo chooses to help her, knowing damn well Inuyasha would have suffered if Kikyo had died- further more, if it was in Kagome's hands to do something about it.

Rin on the other hand, I will applaud to her how she grew past her fear of Kagura after being kidnapped by her, she saw her body in the river and said fuck it and did her best to try to pull her from the water. I loved how stubborn and brave she was, even tho Sess had to pull everyone out of the water- she deserves a gold star. You go baby girl!!!

Rin later makes a cheeky comment, noting Kagura’s romantic interest in Sesshomaru. Jaken brushes this off as childish naivety. But for the spectator, this establishes two things: (1) That Rin does not see Kagura as a rival for Lord Sesshomaru’s attention, let alone affection; and (2) that Rin is still a child. Rin is certainly a child, with a youthful and fresh outlook on life that brings out the best in people. But even as a child, her relationship with Sesshomaru is incredibly healthy, clear, and surprisingly communicative.

Why would she? She's not a spoiled brat

Nah? I thought her double D indicated otherwise. OF COURSE SHE'S A MF CHILD.

Why do you keep mentioning is healthy? Do you need reassurance of it? Communicative in what way? Cuz if you wanna talk about communication let's talk about how he didn't even acknowledge her ass when she gave birth. He didn't even say her name, didn't even look at her. Tell me now how they are communicative and healthy?

I could go on, I really but all I'm getting from this load of bullshit I'm forcing myself to read is how you do in fact need to reassure yourself thr ship is god tier and is... How you said it was? Ah, healthy.

Anyways, thanks for reading and if you see any typo ... My apologies, I tried. Also if you have any input or I was out of line in some way, my apologies once more.

#anti sessrin #antisessrin #anti-sessrin

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kim-chann · 4 years ago

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How would the guys take care of a sick s/o? Also I love your writing !!

Thank you! :)

Thank you for 100+ followers!! 💕💕

Also, do you guys even like lengthy headcanons? Should I shorten them?

Osomatsu: Please do not rely on him, I beg of you. Osomatsu won’t even notice that you were sick in the first place. He would be confused, ask you to hang out with him, being completely oblivious that you cannot physically succumb to his wishes. Once you tell him that you’re sick, he’ll be like, “Really? Oh... I didn’t know. You should make it more obvious, S/O-chan/kun!” As you’re in your bed, your face red, and clearly ill. What a dumb ass.

But Osomatsu would try to make you feel better because “that’s the man I am!” He would go to the grocery store to get some canned soup (cause he doesn’t know how to cook homemade soup), but gets distracted by all the other snacks and buys everything else but the soup.

When he arrives, he’ll realize that he didn’t buy the soup, “Oops, my bad...” He’ll rub the back of his head as you glare menacingly at him. You would really need to take care of yourself for the matter, but his only useful thing for you is to get you water and entertain you. But overall, he’s useless.

Karamatsu: This man will go to the full extent to make you good soup. He’ll first make sure that you’re comfortable in bed before he leaves to get the ingredients. You would have to stop him before he travels all over the world just to get some ingredients for your soup and tell him that the local grocery store would do just fine.

“Heh,” He whips off his sunglasses, “An angel like you should deserve such a divine meal to remove the devil's curse--”

“It’s just a fever...” You would beg, “Go to the local market, please...”

In the end, he would go to the market for your wishes and get the expensive ones. When he arrives at your home, he would start cooking immediately. Surprisingly, he’s actually not bad of a chef! When he serves you his soup, he’ll put on a smirk while he watches you eat. But on the inside, he’s a nervous wreck, not sure if you’ll like it or not. Maybe he should’ve traveled around the world to get you fresh ingredients--

“It’s good!” Praise slips out from your mouth.

His soup is actually good (believe it or not lol)! He would be so happy that you approve of his cooking skills. It boosts his ego.

“Eh? Karamatsu-kun? Are you crying?”

“N-Non, non, my dear! My eyes are just sweating!”

“Sure...”

Choromatsu: He would scold you at first before he properly takes care of you. “Honestly,” He sighs, placing a wet rag on your forehead, “How reckless are you to get sick?” You would explain how you got sick and he’ll just chuckle at your reasoning, “Take care of yourself, next time, okay?” He’ll ruffle your hair and sit next to you, his arms crossed.

He would stay at a distance from you because he doesn’t want to get sick, but wants to make sure that you’re well attended. Choromatsu would occasionally ask if you want anything and would get it immediately. It’s very sweet and expected of him as the most “responsible” in the Matsuno family.

However, his cooking skills are shit. Literally. He can’t cook. He burns the soup. How the hell do you even burn soup?! You would send him to the grocery store to buy some canned soup because you can’t risk having food poisoning instead of having a simple fever. That wouldn’t be good, no sir. When he comes back, he would heat the soup for you and feed it to you if you’re too weak. After that, he’ll make a mental note to practice cooking for you and himself. He didn’t know his cooking skills were that bad.

Ichimatsu: Ichimatsu-sama. Ichimatsu would be worried that you have a fever and would try his best to aid you. He doesn’t know how to properly take care of someone, and every time he tries to remember his knowledge of taking care of someone with a fever, all he can remember is him making his brothers call him, “Ichimatsu-sama.” The thought made him embarrassed if he asked you to call him that. He felt an urge to make you call him that but immediately backed out because that would be embarrassing and would possibly affect the relationship.

So he tried what he can, placing cold rags on your forehead and checking your temperature every so often. He would just cook simple Oyaku (rice porridge) and would feed you if you need it. If you’re a bit better he can make you some Onigiri shaped of your favorite animal to make you smile again, “Here,” He places a plate on your lap, “I made you (favorite animal) Onigiri...” He’d subconsciously smile when he sees your gleaming face when you eat his food.

He won’t be very expressive when taking care of you but would be attentive to you if you need something. Just like Choromatsu, he would stay in the room where you’re resting and even take a nap when you’re sleeping. He’s a sweet caretaker!

Jyushimatsu: He would suggest making duplicates of himself and making himself smaller so he can fight the bacteria in your body, but you’d immediately refuse. He’d put a sleeve to his mouth, “Eh? Why? You won’t be sick anymore!” He would be confused about why you rejected his offer but would get over it quickly. You’d have to give him instructions on how to take care of you. Once you tell him to get some soup from the market, he’ll say, “Hai!” And suddenly come back with a can of soup. You swore you didn’t have any in your cabinet. Did he teleport? Nobody knows...

Once he heats your soup, he’ll come in your room with some medicine and some wet rags, it’s a bit surprising that he knows some things about taking care of an ill person. When you ask, he’ll say, “Ichimatsu-niisan used wet rags when we were sick!” But he won’t make you call him, “Jyushimatsu-sama.” (Probably). He would be a decent caretaker but he would just entertain you more than take care of you. But he’s trying his best, give him some credit.

Todomatsu: He would research how to take care of a person. He would search up, “How to take care of a sick person without making contact.” Todomatsu’s a bitch and he doesn’t want to be in the same room with an ill person because “I’m a neat freak!”

He can’t really stand it but would get you some soup (bought from a local restaurant or grocery store) and leave it out of your room for you to pick it up. He’ll be wearing a mask every time he approaches your room, thinking you’re in quarantine in there. He would stay near your room if you need to call him, but he prefers for you to text him if you have a phone.

If you don’t he’ll just be near your room and request that you make a loud sound or shout for him if you need something. Todomatsu won’t enter your room, so the only time you two talk is by talking through the door. It can be really annoying when he can’t hear you and you’d have to repeat that you said over and over again. He won’t be the best caretaker, but he’s just attentive to your needs. So I guess he’s okay... I think?

#Osomatsu-san #osomatsu san #osomatsu #karamatsu #choromatsu #ichimatsu #jyushimatsu #todomatsu #osomatsu san hc #osomatsu san headcanon

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 2 years ago

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I was on the phone with my grandma the other day because she's getting on in years, and she was teasing me about being that child that ran around everywhere telling everyone all the things I learned about as if it was my way of telling everyone "I love you" and damned if that's not still true today, so to everybody out there who has a cat or a dog and has never really known anything much more than "try to track the recalled kibble and make sure a meat or protein is the first ingredient I guess?" this is a little bit of "I love you" made just for you.

I took my Service Dog to the vet for her annual recently and it came up that she and all the other animals in my household eat a grain-free, gluten-free diet because I'm extremely allergic and can be quite reactive, even to their food at times depending on where my threshold is, and also Jaxxine is learning how to alert for gluten cross-contamination for me.

The vet we were seeing was ADAMANT we stop immediately. I'm ~reasonably~ knowledgeable about dog care at this point, but no expert. In fact, they had just corrected some regional information for me earlier in the appointment which made me feel quite embarrassed about being misled (the correct information was very obvious in hindsight). They explained it was fairly new research, and strongly advised me to change all 4 animals' food.

Our vet's advice turned out to be only partially true. We will be adding some grains into their foods, but they'll be specific gluten-free grains I'm not sensitive to. The other piece the vet mentioned that we'll be keeping is the pea and legume minimal foods.

Now let's get to the advice that I HAVE NEVER gotten from the vet before but did get because this vet directed my research in the right direction (many thanks!)

My cats haven't been getting enough protein OR enough fluids!

And if yours only eat kibble, they haven't either. This is mission-critical. If you are like me and have fed your beloved kitties kibble your entire life, PLEASE read under the cut for my detailed research and template for how I constructed a kitty diet, because this dehydration is a serious issue.

For the dogs, what I learned is that different breeds often have different requirements for percentages of fats, proteins, etc in their diets. If you got your dog from the breeder they may know these numbers directly (if they don't tell you, they will have told you a food to buy, and that food will almost certainly meet the necessary criteria so you could try to match it). Bht for those of us who have dogs that do not come with that kind of instruction, you can sometimes look up breed approximations online, but the better choice would be to speak to your vet about what specific nutritional needs they might recommend in a food for your dog specifically.

Okay, gonna put way more detail below the cut, but these are the major conclusions to take away and look further into for your own feline and canine friends.

Okay let's start where it matters. Cat hydration.

I'm not kidding when I realized I freaked. Probably a bit of an excessive reaction but still. I suddenly felt like I understood why my lil Taako man kept showing signs of dehydration despite - to my knowledge - getting plenty of water. Why housecats in general are so prone to dehydration related issues. I felt really sad that my kitties had been fighting uphill to get the fluids they needed all this time.

Cats cannot subsist on an all dry food diet. Period. Their primary daily food intake needs to include some amount of wet food or they will be dehydrated to some extent. There are a few ways to go about this. You can rehydrate kibbles with broths and gravies, or you can include default wet foods for at least one portion of the daily meals.

Because you feed cats a high protein diet, and need to be able to feed them ENOUGH of everything as well, feeding a cat adequately can get expensive fast. I found the most cost-effective way to address this issue was to purchase 1/4 daily nutrition portion sizes for each of my cats of four different types of food (no I'm not kidding).

Basically here is how my cats will be eating every day:

Kibble is filling, which makes it great for making sure the kitties get ENOUGH to eat, but high protein, nutritionally appropriate (gluten-free due to my allergies, legume-free though this appears to be of limited importance for the cats, organ-meat inclusive, and low carbohydrate) wet food can get expensive fast. So each day my kitties get 1/4 of their weight's worth of daily nutrition in kibble split across two meals.

Because kibble is dry, and cats handle wet food better, and because their kibble isn't a high protein kibble (on account of avoiding the pea protein boosted kibbles), the cats will be getting their kibble topped with 1/4 daily nutritional amounts for their weight of a dehydrated raw frozen meat medley that has organ meat as a second ingredient, and a non-nutritional kibble topping gravy to rehydrate them.

Wet food is easy to get with high protein and is naturally high in fluids, so they will get one serving of wet food (measured in ounces per pound of kitty weight) each evening before bed.

In addition, the cats now have a ceramic water bubbler from the thrift store (it's snowman themed) that belongs just to them, and it has a fun little flavor additive that's good for their teeth and breath and that encourages them to drink more. So far they are drinking it dry once a day. It holds 64 ounces and they weigh, collectively, 30lbs.

By making sure that I'm never buying very much of any one food, I was able to limit the expense by a LOT. I was also able to create more variation and interest for the cats themselves which I think they'll enjoy. I found them a couple of ceramic whisker-fatigue friendly food dishes to serve their meals in at the thrift store as well (seriously anytime you need ceramic just go thrifting, your cats will thank you). The additive is from their vet by prescription, so I'm not going to worry about giving info on it, but be aware that you can request such things, and that some pet stores sell over-the-counter versions (although your mileage may vary with those). I managed to get the cost down to about $150/month for both cats (not including the additive their scripts come from a different budget). This was higher than I wanted, but thank goodness the dog's food went down by about $50 so it evens out-ish. Basically, feeding animals gluten-free is just as expensive as feeding a person gluten-free lol, and I wish I didn't have to do it for any of us.

Anyway, Taako's about 15lbs and Lup's about 11lbs, so I calculated how much of each food I would get for a 30lb cat (lol) for 1 out of every 4 days over a 4 week period. Essentially, how much is one week's worth of each food. Those four amounts together became our 4 week supply of food. Because I over calculated their weight just by a few pounds, I should be able to ensure we always have a couple of days excess to tide us over in the event of an emergency, and I can stockpile the kibble and cans in particular for rainy days. This is essential because research has shown that there are no homemade cat food diets that provide a nutritionally complete dietary experience. Cats should never go an extended period of time on any kind of homemade diet.

Onto the dogs!

I have two. One is tiny, a 16lb spaniel, the other is large, a 51lb mountain dog. Both are working furballs, and live pretty busily most of the time (hoo boy did they not enjoy the past week where that wasn't true). So energetic, intelligent dogs, one a Service dog who does a lot of physically demanding work and the other an ESA with increasingly creaky joints. Turns out tho, that due to her parentage, Jaxxi actually needs a pretty low protein diet! This is problematic because the Tobster needs a high protein diet.

And suddenly the consequences of my dogs not being from the same litter like my cats are comes into play.

The good news is, splitting the food like I did for the cats still fixes the issue! I chose a low-protein kibble that is well suited to Jaxx's needs (their other dietary needs were complementary and they only differed in protein need). Then I chose a limited ingredient dehydrated meat protein food that is basically just straight up freeze dried meatie bits? Tobi is REALLY picky about treats and I basically have nothing I can use as a training aid to reinforce his commands throughout the day. This has led to him being - quite frankly - a little fucking gobshite recently. So my plan is to use the meatie bits as high value training treats throughout the day to finally bring some order back into his world. Jaxx is happy with any treats I give her so she can continue getting her little meatie fruit and yam leathers and won't have a care in the world about the difference.

So since dogs are a lot more specific in their nutritional needs, rather than doing a break down on "what dogs need" like I did above with cats I'm gonna throw in some really useful resources I found along the way.

This review site has a solid transparency policy and does and excellent job explaining the science behind their recommendations in detail. I found it incredibly helpful while I was looking up information on how to adequately feed my dogs when they are so different from each other, and was really frustrated that I couldn't find a similarly trustworthy equivalent on the cat side of the aisle. They review dog foods, dog related news, create best of lists, and are INCREDIBLY comprehensive, detail oriented, and thorough.

This site has a wide range of information about a wide range of pets that folks may have and is really approachable in presenting some introductory and intermediate animal husbandry concepts which I think is hard to do sometimes because animal husbandry is weird (as evidenced by the fact that I guarantee you none of you have considered having pets to be animal husbandry before. And maybe it isn't! But a lot of the concepts are the same! And that's coming from someone who does animal husbandry lol). Anyway, definitely check this site out if you've mostly been passively absorbing knowledge about your pets all your life with no or limited research into specific things of interest to you about them. You might learn some fun stuff that'll send you down a NEW research rabbit hole at o'dark-thirty in the morning like me.

Something I learned while doing this that I hadn't fully realized the extent of previously: the misinformation machine has hit the pet care blogosphere hard, and looking up information on this stuff the non-research librarian way was really hard because of how many scammers, well-meanings chumps, and outright cultists there were clogging up the works. I'm gonna take a minute to pitch that UC Davis has a top ranked Veterinary Research program that trends towards reliable research on animal husbandry and veterinary medicine, so if you're really in a pinch to find the answer to something, I recommend seeing if there's anthing definitive from them or another accredited research university that could shed some light. But boy howdy we gotta deal with some of these people because this stuff is a nightmare.

Might do some posting about my pets' nutrition today because I thought it was interesting, and maybe some of what I learned will be useful to someone else.

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ksbwnotes · 3 years ago

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Chapter 8, Part 2

*groans in hands* I have to finish reading everything by September 14. I have no clue if I have the drive for this, but fuck me for having more determination to read this than any of my nursing books...

1. ...So it...wasn’t because...he was killing his prey???

Oh my god I hate that smirk on your face Sangstop.

But...now that does make me wonder if this is true and to what extent it’s true. Bum has been picturing Sangwoo slicing into women while he was downstairs and we also see Sangwoo’s hands often damp. So honestly, installing that pulley can’t be the only things he does there.

Actually now that I think about it, the dampness is more from having to clean the basement and making sure there’s no residue from the woman that he killed. He’s very thorough.

But...that pulley. Maybe he really did install that just in case? He’s starting to use methods he has never did before. Because he has an outlier in his life now that he never expected. So he needs different types of punishments whenever Bum steps out of line, things that won’t break Bum completely like blades and sledgehammers will. If he’s going to keep Bum by his side and properly train him, then he can’t keep using the same methods he uses to kill his victims.

Because, ultimately, he doesn’t want to kill Bum. (later on, when he does decide he’ll kill Bum, we see him reach a new level of destruction that he wasn’t capable of earlier. He had to break more in order to reach that point. So, losing Bum made Sangwoo lose whatever little hope he had and, metaphorically, killing Bum means Sangwoo is killing whatever hope he had)

2. *wince* yep

God your reactions are delayed, but...yeah.

Sangwoo’s first reaction was to treat Bum favorably with a little kiss. To show that, yes, that’s one of the correct actions Bum could’ve taken--one of the ways to change his mind. But 1) Bum still came onto him sexually. Sex seems more of a trigger for Sangwoo (honestly, I think 99% of the women Sangwoo has slept with have died lol). 2) If Sangwoo let Bum have his way, then Bum will have the upperhand and he can’t have that. This is about making sure Bum knows what he did wrong and that he won’t do it again.

So even if a part of him does like what Bum did, it’s not something he can overall accept.

Oh one thing about his delayed reactions...it might be another coping mechanism of his? As a way to build up resistance to what he’s about to do. Whenever he does something impulsively, you see him lose it. But when he takes the time to do things, his expression is more dead-eyed than wild-eyed.

3. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars

But i still can’t help but laugh lsjg;ijeog

Also, Bum, please...just...connect the dots faster please...but one notable thing about his character is that he doesn’t. While Sangwoo experiences delays in understanding, Bum disconnects entirely from the reality. Koogi keeps this trait of his goddang consistent.

4. Wait what the fuck

This is...worse than cutting??? You can literally snap someone’s neck with the force of pulling them up straight from the ground. How is this supposed to be a better option?? Also, lets be real, Bum’s trachea would’ve been done in by the force of this. Honestly, I’m surprised Bum’s jaw is fine. Fkk, what about the SPINE, HUH SANGWOO!!??!?!? The fact that Bum’s still able to even speak afterwards and does not have burn marks from the rope is...is whyyyyy this is a piece of fiction, Aetas, not real life sjgo;erjg.

Anyways, okay, so Koogi must have chosen this as Sangwoo’s alternative for a reason and I do think Sangwoo believes this is genuinely a better option. Even though, just speaking from personal experience dealing with patients, they always respond more dramatically to airway closure than blood loss.

If I think about my earlier idea, he uses violence not really as a sexual outlet (though, probably at this point, he doesn’t know how to get off without--at the very least--being rough and treating his partner as an object), but as a way to hurt people in the way he has perceived them hurting him. The bonus is giving them bruises and scars that he can see--visible marks for the invisible pain they’ve given him. It’s...validating for him, maybe?

So, this way, Bum is still suffering and being punished for making Sangwoo ‘suffer’, but won’t have visible marks. In this way, this is less validating for Sangwoo because there’s no “proof” of pain, so Sangwoo perceives it as less painful. Because he’s a fucking asshole and that’s putting it too kindly (lol Sangwoo worsening instead of getting better and dying at the end is literally the only reason why I decided to read this and why I respect Koogi).

Also, from what I see later, Sangwoo knows for how long he can hold Bum there without him dying. So I’m not sure who the hell he is tried this on...says me who literally used fkkn google to research how long it takes for someone to pass out from hanging. Which can range anywhere from 3 seconds to 1.5 minutes. So. It varies lol.

Ohhhh also this is much faster than cutting Bum open. That probably could’ve taken half an hour to even more than that if Sangwoo went that route. But with hanging, Sangwoo knows it can only go for so long, which is why he doesn’t go for more than one session of this. Bum can suffer for either 30 seconds via a very acute session of asphyxiation or he can suffer for thirty minutes or more via cutting.

Ohhh this is actually very smart of Sangwoo. I can see now why he chose this. He understands that hanging is much scarier and will make the victim really feel like they’re gonna die. So, this explains why Sangwoo decided to set this up for Bum. Because he believes only Bum would be able to prove that, yes, Sangwoo can choose the alternative because he won’t hurt Sangwoo past the point of no return (in a way, death for the victim means that Sangwoo can no longer forgive them because the pain they gave him is just as bad as death).

5. I don’t have anything to back this up, I really don’t, BUT--

Even though Sangwoo is smiling like an insane freak, it...kind of seems like he’s emulating all the hollywood serial killers we’ve seen on TV. People who are doing this smile like they’re truly enjoying life and blah blah blah. Honestly, Koogi probably means Sangwoo to be like this, like the classic serial killer that gets off other people’s pain.

But for me, it’s like Sangwoo is acting a part. Again, the eyeless thing. Sangwoo is taking on a persona--rather than truly allowing his brain to be present, to think about the situation for himself--that is meant to enjoy this just for the sake of it.

I also don’t think Sangwoo ever goes into these things planning to kill his victims right then and there. Like, right now, I don’t think he’s planning to actually hang Bum to his death. I can assume Sangwoo has done enough research to know when to stop so that they don’t actually die (but again, it will depend on how his victim responds to the hanging).

Because Sangwoo keeps giving Bum (and all his other victims) a chance. He probably gave CEO girl a chance right before deciding to kill her because, unlike Bum, she kept screaming and begging for her life. That is why Bum won. Because he proved worthy of a ‘second chance’.

And back to not wanting to actually kill them, that’s because killing them means he’s alone again. I honestly think he’s only doing this to people he has genuinely felt attached to in some way. He wants them to save him. To say, no, he’s not a monster, that he’s still worthy of being loved, that the way his mother loved him is not the type of love he deserves.

If they’re unable to save him, then that means they’ll only destroy him. And, so, he must get rid of them first before that happens.

6. Seriously no hands why the fuck and what the fuck Sangwoo

Okay, this is gonna be a loooooong one.

And this ties in with my idea about how Sangwoo never actually goes in with the conscious plan to kill his victims (this is very similar to how Bum goes in thinking of one thing, but his actions end up suggesting something entirely different).

It’s like he ends up killing them as a reaction to what they did

Similar to someone shooting a home invader dead and having it be self-defense

Also, this acts as a mitigating technique to avoid any guilt he feels

I think this also ties in to why Sangwoo doesn’t ‘plan’ things too deeply and just takes things step by step

Because the more he thinks about what he’s doing, the less he’s able to see himself as a human.

In a way, Sangwoo’s guilt and shame is driving him to do things that just worsen his guilt and shame.

Because he knows he can never be forgiven

He can never forgive himself

The reason why he wants someone to magically save him is because ‘helping him’ is a two way street

A hand may reach out to him, but he has to be the one to take hold of it--and it won’t end there

He has to trust the hand to keep a hold on him, no matter what happens--and he has to put in continuous effort to keep holding on as well.

He cannot trust someone to not only help him, but keep helping him and, more than that, he cannot trust himself.

He has no hope in the world around him and has no hope for himself, so in a way, the constant killing is a self-preservation act as well

Since, subconsciously, he knows that he cannot live a normal life because of everything that has happened--

--and the world keeps going on in their own bubble despite his pain--

--He has to do something to keep that from crushing him.

So, instead of killing himself, he’ll continue killing others because it’s what he’s familiar with anyways. And in survival, familiarity is necessary--a form of homeostasis--because that is when protection is possible.

And actually, back to that wanting a savior part.

Sangwoo has never once been truly protected

He has never felt a sense of security as a child

So, to protect himself, he has made himself impenetrable--stronger and always making sure he has the upperhand

Anyone who threatens him in any way should be dealt with swiftly so that they never take away his sense of security

So, wanting a savior seems totally opposite of what he should want, but everything he’s done to strengthen himself is in response to never having someone protect him

He wants to be protected for once

He wants someone he can rely on to guide him every step of the way, to be there for him when he’s weak and be his strength

It is something he has been looking for in every one of his victims and Bum is the closest that he can get to fulfilling it

Unfortunately, a savior is exactly what Bum is not.

And a savior is exactly what Sangwoo does not fkkn need to get better, if he even can at this point.

There are no such things as saviors, just like there are no such things as protagonists. The moment you put ‘getting better’ as someone else’s responsibility rather than your own, you’ve made it so that you can never get better.

7. Goddang boy, you really know you have nothing else but the grave waiting for you

Hmmmmn...actually, this is...huh. Oh. Okay. Okay. Uhm. So.

Remember when I said that Sangwoo doesn’t go into these things planning to kill his victim?? Okay so that’s not wrong...but not right either.

I thought that Bum did the whole hanging this solely as an alternative punishment, which I still think has merit, but now I’m like...okay so, Sangwoo does every little thing he can to make it so that no one can love him. He tries to make it fkkn impossible, which he succeeds at.

He knows that hanging will bring out more dramatic effects from a person. And Bum has this thing where he can say one thing, but then completely do a 180 from it. And asphyxiation can really force someone to be more...open about their thoughts lol. It’s the lack of blood to the brain, so the brain will have less barriers to keep their filter in check.

I don’t think he made the pulley as an alternative or lesser punishment, but as a “finality”. He gets that Bum is crossing into ‘unforgivable’ territory, but at the same time, is at the ‘I can still save you’ precipice, which is a hope that is more destructive to Sangwoo. Having that hope then it being torn down will be the last act that destroys his sanity (which is exactly what we see at the end of the comic).

Because, in a way, he’s still controlling himself in his killings. He’s not just killing anyone, he’s specifically choosing his victims, which reduces the amount of people he kills. If he has to keep on killing, his conscience will make it so that he won’t just start going on random killing sprees and making the body count explode. That is the last tether he has to his sanity.

So, before that tether snaps--by way of having his hope destroyed completely by people like Bum--he’ll put an end to it before it gets any further. This hanging thing was meant to bring out the ‘truth’ from Bum. It was meant to break down all the barriers and finally show his true colors. Which is when Sangwoo can kill Bum via hanging. This will be very different from what he has done before, but Bum was different as well. So him breaking from his habits is his way of applauding Bum.

8. Sangwoo’s Doki Doki moment lol

I like how Koogi put those black lines in there as a form of a ‘blush’, but not actually a blush because nothing about this moment is romantic lol. And that ‘thump’ is a facsimile of a person’s heart beating when falling in love.

I honestly think this is the moment where Sangwoo falls in Lima Syndrome.

Sangwoo is expecting Bum to react in a way that will finally let Sangwoo kill Bum once and for all. Screaming ‘motherfucker’ again. Curse him and say he will die a painful death, like his mother. Beg ‘please’ and for help, like CEO daughter. Anything but Bum still calling Sangwoo’s name, like he’s still a human instead of a monster.

Just like my first instinct to be like “fucker this is way worse than cutting someone” and reminded me of why Sangwoo should die, Sangwoo knows that what he’s doing to Bum warrants Bum treating him like a monster. But from Sangwoo’s point of view, that isn’t what Bum is doing.

9. Lol, Sangwoo, stop fucking romanticizing this oh my god

KOOGI. STOP OH MY GOD. NO. YOU’RE KILLING ME. SANGWOO’S EXPRESSION. NO. DON’T. I WANT TO STRANGLE MY HEART FOR MAKING ME FEEL FOR THIS FUCKER.

But seriously. This expression. It’s like Sangwoo’s prayers are actually being answered and he can’t believe it. It’s like he’s looking at God reaching out to save him from all the demons threatening to pull him down into hell. There’s this heartbreaking sense for hope and Sangwoo is so scared that it will fall through his fingertips and shatter on the ground at his feet.

But it is worthy to note that Bum calling out to Sangwoo via his name is actually pretty normal. I think it’s more common for children calling out for their parent to stop, because the person who is hurt them is more often then not the only person who can help them. And if throwing away your pride to appeal to your abuser is the only way to make this pain stop, then no fucking duh they will.

Just because Bum is the only one who has done so at this point doesn’t mean Bum is ‘special’. He’s a fkkn human being who has been abused ever since he was a child and is familiar with the other ways of begging for his life. If anything, I think this is more indicative of how specific Sangwoo’s victims are and that he hasn’t actually killed that many people.

10. Goddang Koogi, so much respect for you

Seriously, the way Sangwoo reacts to this is the same way when he later reacts to Bum saying “I love you” while Sangwoo is raping him.

So going off of that future incidence, Sangwoo here is being affected by Bum on a personal level. This is the level where, if triggered, the more he’ll want to keep Bum by his side because this is the closest Sangwoo can get to genuinely/healthily loving someone.

But the thing is, THIS is how he reacts to it. With aggression. And there’s this muscle twitch at the corner of his mouth that even suggests fear. Because that is how Eunsoo conditioned Sangwoo to react to ‘love’. Love is not something to desire, it’s something to repel because it’s a threat to your existence. But, of course, Sangwoo still wants love--he wants to be shown how love was meant to be in the first place.

And that is why he saves Bum.

Because Bum is his only--damning, dangerous, terrifying--hope for experiencing that.

(which is exactly why he fucking snaps later when he realizes that Bum cannot give him what he wants and if Bum can’t, no one can, so what’s the point of anything?)

11. O_O Oh...uhm.

I’m...yeah. So I still don’t think Sangwoo is the type that gets sexual gratification from killing and torturing people. Him holding Bum up by his legs so that he’s no longer choking is, I think, evidence of that.

In a way, this is more from a twisted version of demisexuality. I’m sure Sangwoo got hard the moment Bum started taking off his clothes to crawl over to Sangwoo, which triggered Sangwoo’s danger senses. Because not only love, but he equates sex to something horrifying and disgusting--and the way Sangwoo is grimacing in that last panel does suggest that he’s revolted by his hard-on. It’s just that he can’t help it, because his experiences conditioned him to only finding release via situations that make him feel disgusted.

Sangwoo didn’t reach peak arousal when Bum was thrashing around the moment he was being hanged. He reached it when Bum was calling out his name, still treating him like a person with a name rather than a monster who deserves to die. He wasn’t turned on by Bum, he was turned on by Bum’s ‘acceptance’ of Sangwoo. Rather than heterosexuality or homosexuality, this is closer to demisexuality because what he wants is someone to love him despite being a monster among humans.

Oh, I want to note that Bum calling out Sangwoo’s name could be likened to calling out Sangwoo’s name during the...throes of passion lol.

12. Wow you’re really enjoying yourself there, Sangstop

Hmn so again, I do think this is another showcase of demisexuality.

He doesn’t care that he’s getting off to manly cries, holding onto legs that are more boney skin than shapely meat, and a penis ‘hanging’ (omg i can’t believe i was able to fit a pun in here) above his head there.

He looks super blissed out here and I don’t think he’d be looking like this with any woman he has fucked. It has probably been a long time since he has even been this aroused by another woman. And the first time in a long time that he has been aroused was by some skinny, creepy loser who’s not just a loser, but a man.

Because it wasn’t the genitalia that was getting him off. It was Bum’s treatment of Sangwoo. So, in a way, he’s starting to like Bum IN SPITE OF his dick lol.

13. *blinks* oh I can’t be quite sure

But I think Sangwoo made sure Bum would fall onto the bed rather than the concrete. I don’t think the position of the bed was...right over the pulley...or maybe Sangwoo made sure it would be? Because he knows that hanging Bum could go either way: kill him or let him fall free.

14. How...do you think of these things, Sangstop...

I mean, creativity aside (which makes me go down a whole bunch of avenues and I really really just want this to end already), Sangwoo actually uses the words “Before I do something I’ll regret.”

Again, Sangwoo’s Lima Syndrome starts here. Had this been earlier, Sangwoo would’ve done something he wouldn’t have regretted. Actually, had Bum not called out Sangwoo’s name, Sangwoo would not have regretted killing him. He could’ve fooled himself into thinking he was relieved because he got rid of an outlier that threatened his last piece of sanity. That he was free from the danger that was Bum.

But no. At this point, Sangwoo knows that if he does something that ends up killing Bum, he will regret it. The release he had earlier fooled him into thinking that Bum was special and could give him something that no woman would ever be able to give him. If he could ‘train’ Bum more, if Bum can exceed his expectations, than he can probably finally get what he has been searching for in all of his victims.

And this is why he pushes Bum’s head in the water. Because now it’s no longer /just/ inflicting pain in order teach a lesson--to get revenge. It’s also about training Bum to make Sangwoo feel like he’s human.

15. Hey, I think this is the first time Sangwoo mentions how he has been treating Bum

Before, it’s always like “Bum you liar” or “I can’t believe you made me do this”, but now Sangwoo actually says “I treat you better than I have ever treated anyone else before, and this is how you repay me??”

Now it has become personal. Sangwoo’s feelings are involved because he is now acknowledging that, yes, he is treating Bum in a way that he could’ve never imagined treating anyone. So, now, Bum can actually do things like scratch Sangwoo’s skin and NOT get killed, which is fucking foreign to Sangwoo.

Because, before, it was all about never letting anyone have the upperhand. The moment someone threatens him, he asserts his dominance to the highest level he possibly can while still being under the guise of “law-abiding citizen”.

Bum, in effect, has become the only person who can physically wound Sangwoo and still live to tell the tale.

Aaaaaaand because there is more for me to unpack but I’ve reached a point where my brain is mush and I can no longer make sense of what I’m writing down, I’m actually going to end it here and pick it back up tomorrow.

Oh my fucking god.

#chapter 8 #volume 1 #jfc this is so long #and i can't believe i STILL have more to say #why the fuck are there going to be 3 parts to chp 8!?!?!?!?

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lawnierose · 4 years ago

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Harry was staring up at the ceiling in his tiny bedroom. This summer after the Tournament had been one of the worst with the Dursleys. Right at the end of the Tournament he had been kidnapped by Voldemort and used in a ritual to bring the Dark Lord back. In his attempt to escape he had been hit with an Avada. Instead of killing him it had apparently killed some aspect of Tom’s soul that had been attached to his own. When he saw his parents in the weird ��in between” place, they told him it was a Horcrux. When he woke up, Tom and his followers had been taken by surprise allowing him to reach the cup and Portkey back. Dumbledore had still sent him back to his awful relatives, who proceeded to beat him and starve him worse than ever.

He was lucky for his hidden stash under the floorboard. Otherwise he would have died of starvation this time. He was lucky the twins were sending him packages. They were the only ones sending him mail this summer. According to them, it seemed Dumbledore had told everyone not to send him letters or anything else. Luckily, this had caused the twins to lose faith in the meddlesome old bastard. Harry had a running list in his mind of everyone who was going to pay. Vernon and Dudley for the constant abuse. Petunia for the neglect, and for turning a blind eye when Vernon took Harry into the special room in the basement. Dumbledore had lost his little weapon, that much was for sure. Harry wanted to ruin the man before killing him.

Of the Weasley’s, he knew the twins were with him as was Charlie. He wasn’t sure about Bill yet. The rest could go fuck themselves, including Ron. As for the rest at school, he had Hermione, Neville, and Luna. No one else believed him about Voldemort coming back, and Dumbledore had thrown him under the bus to the ministry to save face. So Harry lay there, his 15th birthday ticking closer. He stared at the tempus he had wandlessly cast and held, trying to ignore the pain from today’s Harry Hunting adventure. He watched as the time rolled over from 11:59 to midnight. He barely got a wish out, just wanting to be able to be who he wanted to be. Suddenly, pain flared through his whole body and the world went dark as he slipped into unconsciousness.

He was awoken several hours later by a pounding on his door. “Freak, where’s our breakfast, how dare you have a lie in. I’m coming in there.” Harry popped up quickly, reaching for his glasses. His hair seemed to graze his neck and as he ran his hands through it, it was smooth and silky and had grown several inches. “What the bloody hell” he thought. He tried to scramble from the bed but was tangled in the threadbare sheet he was given. Vernon burst through the door just as Harry was standing up. His uncle’s eyes were filled with shock and rage as he stared at the other person in the room. “What the fuck freak? You couldn’t keep yourself from getting any freakier could you.” Harry looked down for the first time. It seems he had shrunk despite already being small. This had caused the huge t-shirt from Dudley to slip off a shoulder, exposing a small breast. Harry could see a matching one under the shirt as well. Eyes widening in terror, Harry realised he had a pussy as well. He jumped back as his uncle screamed at him. Vernon was leering at him and Harry began to quake in fear. “Seems you need time in the special room today girl. Come here!” With that, Vernon grabbed the young child by a fistful of hair and began dragging her through the house.

~A.L.A.H.P.~

Later that evening, a lone figure was looking upon the house at Number 4, Privet Drive. Feeling very much himself, more so than he had in decades, Tom Riddle, commonly called Voldemort or Dark Lord, stared as he watched the three muggles pile into some sort of muggle transportation with trunks and take off. “This is where the Light kept their so called Savior. With muggles of all things.” It had taken months before he was able to come find the boy. First, he had to deal with the results of Pettigrew botching the potion for the ritual. He was supposed to come out looking like his former self. Once back, he did realise that a large amount of his sanity had returned to him. He realised he was a fool to have split his soul as he had. As soon as he had done it the first time, all of his plans began to take a more violent and insane approach. He quickly gathered his Horcruxes and performed a ritual to restore his soul and even more of his sanity. Then it was time to hunt down the boy. It was just random good luck that the one tracking spell had hit the boy. Once he was sure he was alone, he stretched out with his magic to check the wards on the house. He stepped back in shock to find nothing of the sort on the building. Cautiously, he slipped forward.

Nothing, absolutely nothing was keeping him out. Stretching out he felt darkness in the house. It first led him to a small door under the stairs. It reeked with darkness as he pulled it open. Absently he realised the door could only be opened from the outside. Inside he found a school trunk. Then his eyes caught something written on the wall. “Harry’s Room” was written on the wall in what could only be blood. Shocked he looked around, finding a few broken toys and a crib mattress tucked away. Tom tried not to let his thoughts go where the evidence was pointing. No he could not pity the boy. He was here to finish what he started. Yes, he was sane again, and he should have never listened to that half a prophecy to begin with, but he had made it true by marking the boy. He couldn’t stop now. He quietly shut the door and moved up the stairs until he came to a door with seven padlocks on it and a pet flap at the bottom of it. He could practically see the darkness seeping out under the door. It was far heavier here and for once Voldemort was terrified to open a door. Steeling himself and waving a hand he proceeded to unlock all the locks and open the door. His eyes fell immediately upon the tiny bed in one corner. There stripped naked, limbs bent at entirely wrong angles, and wounds bleeding so much the bed was tinted red, was a young girl looking barely twelve. Glancing up the famous scar was still on her forehead. He needed answers, ones he would not get if she died. He pulled his wand and placed it to the mark on his own arm, calling to a very specific follower.

~A.L.A.H.P.~

Severus was lounging in his study at Hogwarts. It was just before bed and he was reading the newest potion journal and sipping on firewhiskey. He had his own research published in this issue, under a false name of course. This was why he loved summer. No students, and he could work on his research and even produce new formulae to patent. He was far wealthier than anyone knew thanks to several medical formulae he had perfected. He had just picked his tumbler up when a searing pain lanced through his left arm. He dropped the tumbler, cursing as he quickly threw on more appropriate robes and hurried out to the edge of Hogwarts’ wards. He quickly apparated straight to his lord and fell to his knees as soon as he arrived. “Get up Severus there is no time for this. I hope you brought potions or have access.” His head snapped up hearing emotions in the Dark Lord’s voice he never thought possible. Glancing around he realised he was in a tiny room in a place he did not recognise. “What was that smell? He wondered. “Move it Severus, Harry Potter is dying and not by my hand.” Severus’s head whipped up to stare at his master’s face only to find it staring elsewhere. He followed the glance until he beheld the sight on the bed. “This is a girl my lord.”

“Severus be glad I need you or I would be cursing your incompetence right now. Look at the scar. I don’t know how, but Harry is now the girl-who-lived and I would know why she changed and why she is dying.” Suddenly, both men froze as the girl coughed harshly, blood spraying from her mouth. Lily’s green eyes stared back at them barely focused. “T-tom, here to kill me. Just end it please!” Both men were shocked, but Severus was pushed to action as the girl's body went completely limp. He was pulling potion after potion out of his robe, which had a special pocket linked directly to his private stores. “My lord, I will do what I can but even a cursory glance tells me there are injuries here beyond my skills. We need to get the girl to Narcissa. Her healer training far outweighs my own.” Tom merely nodded and let Severus work. Severus eventually informed him he had done what he could and Tom scooped the girl up in his arms. He marvelled at how light she was and tried not to let his rage blind him. With that he Apparated directly to his room in Malfoy Manor, Severus right on his heels. “Tinky!” he yelled out. As the house elf appeared he was already giving instructions. “Go get Lady Malfoy and bring her here immediately.” With a pop the elf was gone and he laid the girl on his own bed. There was a pop and a shriek behind him. “Unhand me you loathsome...Oh my Lord, what is requested of me?” The Lady Malfoy was attempting to look less ruffled as she bowed. Suddenly, her eyes alighted on the bed and noticed the famous scar on a very female body. “My Lord, Severus, what has happened?” Tom spoke up, swallowing his anger. “All will be talked about, after we save her life. Severus did what he could.”

It took well into the morning, but finally Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief. “She is out of the worst of the danger my Lord. There is much yet to be done to bring her to full health and she should really see the Goblins to find out the extent of what has been done. I cannot tell if her magic changed her to look this way or if this is her original form and she was held under some sort of potion or spell.”

#hp fanfic #harry potter #tomarry #genderswap #first chapter #wip

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bittersweetmelxdy · 5 years ago

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Hi again! Thank you so much for answering my ask! Can i ask a scenario for victor with a (super hero?) S/o who can control animals and talk to them and use their natural habilities? Like bread under water like fishes, run super fast like a chita etc? Thank you!

You sent this months ago and guess who only now got around to it, me! Jokes aside, thanks for you continued patience dear, hope you enjoy this, it was interesting to imagine MC with another Evol, apart from precognition, so I had fun with this, hope you like it xxx

Title: a hidden side of you Pairing: Victor x MC Words: 1,438

Victor at first did not believe you possessed an Evol, and thereby was fully committed to be your knight in shining armour. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe you couldn’t survive on your own, but he was surprised you had survived this long on your own. He had literally seen your clumsy self knock into the same table twice, in the span of five minutes, and you would have done it a third time if he had not moved it out of your path of movement. So, Victor felt he of all people knew the extent of your abilities, but like always, you never failed to surprise him.

You rocked back and forth on the balls on your feet, tapping the cellphone in your hand as you waited for Victor to answer.

“Hello?” Victor’s deep voice answered.

“Victor?”

“Who else would answer my phone, idiot?” Victor deadpanned, chuckling as he heard you huff and he could see in his mind’s eyes your puffed out cheeks, and pout on your lips, “Do you need something?” he asked, his tone more tender.

“Are you free on Wednesday afternoon?” you asked, worrying the nail on your thumb anxiously.

You could hear Victor tapping his pen on either his papers or his desk, and you deflated knowing Victor was keeping you waiting on purpose, checking his schedule slower than necessary just to mess with you.

“I’m free.” Victor finally replied, and you let out a quiet sound of excitement, and over the phone, Victor felt a smile tug at the corners of the lips, “So, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, just pick me up at 2 on Wednesday.” You stated happily.

“Alright, see you then.”

“See you, love you Victor.”

“...”

“Victor?”

“Hmmm?”

“You going to say it back?”

“...”

“Victor!”

Victor laughed for a minute, “Dummy, love you too.” and you hung the phone, smiling as you went back to work.

Wednesday rolled around before you knew it, and once work was over you were dusting off your skirt, checking your hair in your pocket mirror, as you felt someone sling their arm over your shoulders.

“Wow Boss, you dressed a little too nice for a simple pre-shooting outing.” Willow teased, wiggling her brows at you teasingly.

You blushed, ducking your head, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Willow whistled, “I see... your using the company as an excuse for a date.” she continued to tease, her volume alerting Kiki and Anna who were close by.

“A date?” Kiki asked, “Wait, is this why you said you were fine going by yourself? You sly girl.” you rolled your eyes, as they continued to poke fun at you, when Anna cut in.

“Alright, I think her ride’s here, so let her breathe.” Anna smiled at your grateful look, and you waved at them as you left.

“Tell the CEO, we said hi!” they called, as the company door swung shut.

Reaching Victor’s car, you opened the passenger side door and climbed in, giving Victor a quick kiss on the cheek as greeting and then sitting down and clicking the seatbelt. He smiled wryly at you, watching as you inputted the address into his car’s GPS system, theatrically trying to hide the screen from him. He played along, pretending to be more confused as the ride went on and the city blended into the countryside, relishing in how proud you were that you had kept this such a secret. Once he had parked the car, and killed the ignition, he turned in his seat to look at you.

“So, why are we at Loveland’s animal research centre?” Victor asked.

“Surprise!” you beamed, shaking jazz-hands at him, “We’re doing a documentary, so they said they’d let me walk around today, before we start shooting.”

Victor nodded, and then the two of you left the car to enter the facility, he actually knew exactly where you were going, as you had mentioned to him excitedly over the phone weeks ago how you had secured the approval for the documentary. But it was more beneficial for him to feign ignorance, especially since he got to see the expressions you made. One of the researchers gave each of you a pass, and since the animals were all in enclosures, you were free to walk around freely, they would only monitor you on the video surveillance.

You and Victor walked around, and you filled him in on the history on the animals as you passed, stopping suddenly in front of an enclosure containing chameleons.

“These were rescued from some rich family that were keeping them as pets as mistreating them. You said softly pressing your hand against the glass, Victor seeing the empathy in your eyes, moved closer to you, wrapping a hand lightly around your waist.

“Do you see them?” he asked, trying to distract you slightly from your sadness.

“They’re a little scared, so they’re hiding.” you said, pointing a little further into the thicket, “Hey, don’t worry, we aren’t here to hurt you, in fact we’re going to make a show about you guys, so please come talk to me.”

Victor furrowed his brows, confused by your choice of words, but watched raptly as you looked to locate the cameras, as once you knew they wouldn’t see you, you stepped closer touching a branch one of the chameleons was on, and he was beyond surprised as he watched your hand changed. Your skin tone shifted before his eyes, changing from its usual tone until it resembled the wood of the branch, in colour and texture, your hand becoming almost an extension of your arm. The chameleon shuffled slowly over to you, before crawling onto your finger, it made a series of noises, and Victor watched, still shell-shocked, as you appeared to understand exactly what the creature was telling you.

“Wait, you understand it?”

“Him. Victor, him.” you corrected, “But yes, I do, he says he happy to meet us and he’s very happy here in the facility,” you turned to the chameleon, stroking it gently with your other hand, “I’m very happy to hear that, I know you’ve suffered.”

You spent more time with the chameleons, introducing yourself to each of them, before moving on to the other enclosures. As there were still other researchers walking around, Victor didn’t question you, afraid someone may overhear you, but he continued to observe as you displayed other abilities normal people wouldn’t be able to do. But once you were back in the car, he didn’t start the car, and the two of you sat in silence for a couple minutes.

“Um Victor, are we going home?” you asked.

“How long?” he asked, “how long have you been able to do all that?”

“I’ve always been able to talk to animals and use their abilities,” you admitted, “It’s my Evol.”

“And you couldn’t tell me?” Victor said, softly, his voice barely audible, hurt clear in his tone.

His stare was becoming a bit too much for you, and you looked down at your hands, fiddling with your fingers nervously, “I’m sure you know that most normal people don’t possess an Evol. So, when I was little, all the other children saw me as a freak and bullied me for it. So, I stopped using my Evol in front of others and pretended I didn’t have one.” You looked up at Victor, self-depreciatingly, “That didn’t stop me getting bullied in high school, but you can’t have everything, right?”

Victor reached across the console, and wrapped his arms around you, bringing you close to his chest, and breathing in the scent of your hair. You wrapped your arms around his neck, reciprocating the hug, and as you could tell Victor was struggling with his next words, you patiently waited.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere, so you don’t have to hide from me.” Victor smiled into your hair as he felt you nod into the crook of his neck.

Retracting from you, Victor started the car, and you began to feel a little shy having unloaded your past onto Victor and clasped your hands tightly in your lap. Before you could spiral into your thoughts, Victor placed his warm hand atop yours, coaxing your hand to turn over so he could interlace your fingers as he never took his eyes off the road, and continued to drive safely. You squeezed his hand in gratitude, and the two of you made your way home in a comfortable silence, hearts much closer than they had been before.

#mlqc scenarios #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mr love victor #mr love li zeyan #love and producer #evol x love

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uwuowotf2waslife · 4 years ago

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I broke (another) sewing machine and now I feel like a terrible human being can I get the mercs reacting to a S/O who gets really cut up over the dumbest things

although somewhat not relatble for me per say, please always remember that thats what being human is, as we say in my language “im a human i do mistakes, im a mistake i do humans”, hope my post helps

Scout

😶 he might be a dumbass, but he is a sensitive dumbass: he does the smallest slip up and then feels like a massive idiot and then he feels guilty over that and feels worse because he shouldnt feel like that..you catch my drift, he overthinks as fast as he runs

😶 starts cracking jokes at you to lighten up your mood

😶 so what you broke a sewing machine? he once kicked through a wall, or that yeeted himself to the couch straight on one of his bros that was sleeping because he didnt pay attention to his surroundings or that time...just keeps talking to make you laugh and feel better

Soldier

😶 can’t relate but he sees you upset and he mad

😶 rocketjumps his way to the shop and (steals) buys you a new one

😶 makes a speech of how unamerican is the way you treat yourself and just sits down and promises you together will overcome that like the soldiers you are

Pyro

😶 concern, why s/o sad?

😶 they try to light up your mood by letting you burn down the sewing machine,if the problem is unfixable or taking it asap to Engie if the problem isnt as severe

😶 if everything fails , hey you can always draw together and snuggle with Balloonicorn

Engie

😶 ain’t a problem for this mechanical mastermind, just real quick fixes it up and perhaps add a new one or two features ( engie why a sewing machine has a nano-sentry on it? It needs more gun hun)

😶 for pretty much anything else, he just lets you vent your frustation while he works

😶 will make you some ice tea tho, and give a good hug if you are too sad

Demo

😶 scrumpy time, sorry not sorry this man has bad copying mechanisms

😶 you two vent and just expell all your frustations till you pass out tangled up together

😶 ngl, its very cathartic and after the monster of a hangover youll have

Heavy

😶 coming from a place where everything was in scarsity and now living the capitalistic utopia america is, he lowkey thinks you are exxeragating

😶 buys you a new one asap and just sits close to you while you sew, it brings back memories from when he was back in russia and his mother would teach him and his sisters basic sewing or when his mother would sew his coat after it was ripped to shreds by his bear hunting

😶 his vocabulary is limited, but he knows that everyday frustations can be solved easily by just listening to the other peson venting or just some good steaming tea and a good cuddle in front of the fire or tv

Medic

😶 a good doctor he is, knows the best medicine for frustation is logic

😶 so what you broke a stupid sewing machine? he has done medical malpractisies noone has even heard before, you didnt stole a mans skeleton for gods sake or inserted various questionable animal organs in your teamates bodies ( unethical scientific research its expensive you know, noone has money for bribing unwilling guinea p-i mean willing volunteers)

Sniper

😶 relates to an ugly extent

😶 tries to turn your frustation to prodactivity, whats the point of whining when you can learn essential life skills like shooting a snipeer rifle or making a fire using only your bare hands and a bunch of sticks?

😶 he just listens and nods, will hug you though at the end and kiss your head as a “ I understand but everything will be ok, Im here”

Spy

😶 being the psychotic control freak he is, he understandsyour frustation but too late, a brand new sewing machine is being shipped up from a master sweing-machine maker in Switzerland

😶 his only copying mechanisms are: ciggaretes, sophisticated wine drinking and sex so he’ll offer those optoions, it’s upto you to decide what fits better the situation

😶 ngl, in the relationship if you last long enough he will just shrug it off and just kiss you enough to kick your frustations out of the window

#tf2 #tf2 fandom #tf2 imagines #tf2xreade #tf2 sniper #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #tf2 scout #tf2 heavy #tf2 demo #all #so #comfort #everyday things

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mlqcconfessions · 5 years ago

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Hi I absolutely love your headcanons. I have epilepsy and these can take many forms for me (full on seizures, absence seizures (looks like I've zoned out) and muscle spasms where I drop things and break them (I will cry cause I feel like my body is betraying me). I have anxiety and although I'm 4 years seizure free I always have a fear of 'what if today is the day' and having to remember to take my meds everyday. Can I have a HC of the boys taking care of MC with epilepsy and how they help her.

Although I’m not too familiar with the technical side of epilepsy, I did have a close high school friend who would occasionally get seizures during classes. I did a little research on my own time! Hope you enjoy it!

MLQC Headcanon - The closest one to you

Victor

You weren’t afraid to tell him about you having epilepsy (he didn’t want you to hide anything from him, anyways)

He wants you to describe everything to him (if you feel any pain, what medications you take, what he could do to help, etc)

He hires a professional to be your temporary carer

He didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t the one closest to you anymore

But with the way he is now, he won’t be that helpful to you

And he KNOWS that (that’s what makes it so frustrating)

He spends his free time between work to study up on epilepsy (and how to be a carer)

You’re worried that he’s dedicating so much of his precious time (and you know just how Victor feels about time)

“Have you forgotten who I am?” (he’s so cheeky sometimes)

He finishes clearing documents at a demonic speed (Goldman reiterates, I TOLD you he was an alien)

In the meantime, he does the simple tasks (ones that don’t require extensive knowledge)

He is ON YOU when you’re taking medications (Time is literally of the essence, MC)

He has a chart by his office desk with your details (so he knows what time, how many, how often you need to take the pills)

Because he can’t always be with you, he orders the professional carer to be by your side at all times (but makes him maintain a private distance that won’t make the CEO husband angry)

You haven’t had seizures for quite a while, but it’s always on the back of your mind

Victor knows that you’re worried about this (it makes him upset that there’s nothing he can do about it)

Although he can’t prevent future seizure from happening, he does his best to reassure you that he WILL be by your side to take care of you

“I don’t believe you, Victor” (this is your chance to make him BEG)

He doesn’t say anything for while, but picks up his phone to call someone

You can faintly hear the voice on the other side of the line

“Goldman, gather up all the employees in the building and have them meet at the main lobby” (....sorry sir, but can I ask just why...?)

“Victor, what are you—”

“Well, my wife here doesn’t believe me when I say I’m going to be by her side always” (....and....you want me to gather everyone because.....)

“Because if I actively proclaim my love to her in front of a crowd, she’ll trust my words” (he’s looking at you, smirking)

“Victor, you wouldn’t!”

“Try me”

The line hangs up (Goldman doesn’t get paid enough for this)

Kiro

He’s heard of it, but knows NOTHING about it (except a little about the seizures)

He’s scared when you talk about your past experiences

“And are you okay now?” (he has these puppy dog eyes)

“Well, I haven’t had these seizures for quite some time now” (omg you just want to hug him and kiss him all over)

Savin notices Kiro reading a lot more during schedules

Wait. Kiro. READING?????

Yes.

Sunshine boy is trying so hard to understand what epilepsy is

So he bookmarked all these articles online to read on his spare time

But God help him, he doesn’t comprehend what these words mean

He figured it was easier to just talk to a professional about it

Later in the week, he wants you to come over to his house on his day off

When you go inside, his entire house has been fortified

No more sharp edges, no more hard floors, security alarms set in every room?

“Ta-dah!” (Kiro proudly shows off his new home)

“Kiro...what....what’s all this for?”

“I think your apartment is too dangerous for you to stay by yourself” (he ushers you to sit down)

“It would be fine if I can regularly go to your house, but Savin said that’s too risky” (and risky it WAS, with all the fans following his every move)

“So I decided the best option was to bring you to MY home!”

Although it’s a little sudden, you can tell that he’s genuinely worried for you

“Haha...thank you, Kiro” (you get up to hug him)

“You’re welcome, MC” (he squeezes you even tighter)

“You’re free to use this house as you please. You can even change the interior here!” (No, that’s okay Kiro)

“When I can’t stay here during work, I’ll send my stylists over to check up on you” (he smooths your hair down)

“But don’t get too along with them! I’m going to get jealous!” (he puffs his cheeks out what the heck, that’s adorable)

You reach out to kiss his nose

“Don’t worry, you’re the only one I can get this intimate with”

He immediately picks you up, and you’re dangling over his shoulders

“Well, I don’t think that’s intimate enough” (sunshine? More like sun-KISSED)

Lucien

If there’s anyone more familiar with how epilepsy works, it’s Dr. Lu Lu

He knows more than you?

He doesn’t think it’s necessary to hire a professional carer (he’s the best carer, wdym)

He’s prepared to the fullest

You tell him that it’s been a while since your last seizure

“We can never be too sure, MC”

Although you haven’t moved into the same house yet, he frequently drops by your apartment (he doesn’t leave until the next day)

During lectures he always looks back at you (to make sure you’re doing fine)

AFTER lectures he makes sure your........physical form is in top condition (SFW if you know what I mean)

He worries that you’re overwhelmed with work sometimes

Offers to lessen your load by helping you edit videos

He’s actually good at making videos? (Youtuber in the making?)

You sometimes ask him to brew tea for you (it helps you relax)

He has a designated cup in his house just for you (when you’re not there, he places it in the display case)

You’re not actually interested in drinking tea

You just like how elegant he looks when he’s brewing

The soft smell of chamomile and lavender in his room is so calming

You fall asleep on his couch while he’s gathering some materials in another room

He’s slightly startled when he doesn’t hear your voice anymore (he quickly sets his papers down and crouches next to you)

Your cute snores make him laugh (he records it for future reference)

When you wake up, you’re back in your bed

“Lucien?”

He peers inside the door, pushes up his GLASSES, (yes I am a Glasses Lucien freak) and smiles at you

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t plan on dozing off like that”

“No worries, I was able to keep myself entertained”

“Oh? What were you looking at?” (you step out to the living room, finding a stack of albums on the table)

???

“You were adorable in this zebra onesie” (LUCIEN PLEASE)

Gavin

He’s dealt with plenty of rogue evolvers during his missions

Most of them had seizures while their evols were going out of control

How different could it be? (Birdcop has never been more wrong in his life)

He’s so taken back when you explain epilepsy to him

The way you describe it makes it sound so terrifying?

He listens inventively to the first aid procedures

He follows through pretty smoothly, actually (damn right, he’s Agent B-7)

You notice that he’s a LOT more attentive towards you

He was always like that before, but it’s to a greater extent now

If you’re quiet for a minute, he starts to panic

“It’s okay, Gavin! I’m okay” (you have to stop him from busting down the bathroom door)

He doesn’t like it when he has to leave you to go on missions (especially ones where he doesn’t know when he’ll get back)

He assigns Minor and/or Eli as your bodyguard (for all locations EXCEPT your apartment)

Anna is responsible for watching over you when you’re home

He calls/texts you so often (it’s like he never left)

His mind is elsewhere during work (but he never fails the missions, because he’s AGENT BIRDCOP-7)

Something you don’t know is that Eli and Minor are required to send photos of you once in a while (something about him being unable to trust their words)

WORST. PEOPLE. TO. ASSIGN. THIS. TO.

Eli takes photos with himself in it (and the focus is not even on you)

Minor always takes them while you’re moving (he only manages to capture your afterimage)

Anna to the rescue, honestly (that’s an entire photoshoot)

The first thing he does after returning is checking to make sure you’re okay (he hugs you after his checkup is done)

“........Gavin, what are these gashes on your arm?”

“....so......what do you want for dinner tonight?”

I don’t know why, but I always make Lucien’s headcanons somewhat nsfw

I can’t help it, he just does that to me

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empathdespoina · 4 years ago

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Social effect of unhealthy minds hurting others...

This isn’t a post in regards to being an Empath. But it does affect Empaths, because this is happening close to their home...their families, community and towns bordering your own; besides state you live in.

I was reflecting and realized that Donald Trump (I know, I know you don’t want to hear about him, but hear me out, it has a ripple effect) grew up abused by his father and mother and child abuse is something that should seriously be address; due to the mental health issues that stem from this and it’s a cycle that gets put onto the next young innocent victim, or a victim not blood related. Seeing how Trump still refuses to acknowledge that he lost, due to his psychological mindset that he’s still trying to please his father...that’s a very unsettling mindset; especially that his father died so long ago...I honestly don’t know.

So here is a man that’s in charge of a nation, that’s mentally unstable and this is causing others who have been abused as a child and NEVER got psychological help...are ever so lovely continued the sick cycle. I say this because my mother was abused by her mother as a child - it was verbal, emotional and psychological; plus my mother’s older sister (my aunt) was abused and then her sister turned it onto my mom. This has caused my mom to follow in these foot steps. Yet my mother and aunt don’t see anything wrong with the way they treat me and sadly my brother has learned to treat me very similar; but in a worst way...due to him bringing his NYPD job home and blowing up on me for no reason, and I feel he’s not to far away to unleash his physical anger on me. I have suggested to my mother on several times to go to therapy and her response is always... I’m okay there’s nothing wrong with me. As of recently my mom wants very little to do with her sister, on the way her sister treats her. I am my mother’s and brother’s emotional punching bag of dumping their bad days on me...all because I do something small that a healthy minded person would be upset; yet for these two, flip off at me as if I did something so damn horrible as if killed a wild animal in the house and destroyed the house in the process.

Now seeing how my family is...my mom likes Trump and is very pissed that he lost; due to her being very negative towards me, anytime there’s a reference around our new leaders for the nation. And the negativity outburst is nothing more than childish, but her being an adult and the years of how she destroyed my mental health on causing me to have very high stress anxiety; that if I do something similar to what would have upset her in the past...I start freaking out, in an unsettling reaction. Reason why? Because spilling a drink on the floor isn’t a big deal for healthy minded people. Yet for my mother it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and completely lost it with me. My father tried his best to protect me when he was alive; yet reflecting on the past and understanding my mother’s past; he was most likely abused along the same line like me, due to his last famous words to my mother, as he died from cancer: “You did this to me and put me here!” Which I believe was him lashing out on the abuse she did to him and it was always a passive aggressive to then shouting and bringing up every damn past mistake and making you feel worthless and that you’re nothing more then an embarrassment to her. Since she’s always concern of how others perceive her, due to the fact she never was popular in high school and that mindset still hasn’t been let go...seeing how she was ecstatic when my brother was the popular kid back in the day, in school and she could hang out with the popular moms. -face palms herself-

Having a mentally sick man as our president who won’t admit to losing or that he’s fucked up because yeah he was abused as a child...since around that time, it was considered ACCEPTABLE. Now you’re getting all these other people who were abused as a child and mentally sick to be encourage to let all this out, let all the abuse out and to hurt others. To attack people out of nowhere to let racism fly. But for some people at home, to deal with those we know, are getting worst than they were before...all because they admire this man like a Korean Idol or a Kardashian. The most dangerous ones are who are less educated; then following under that is people (more now my mother’s age group compared to my age group...to an extent on my age group), who are getting addicted to FB - which has always used ads and fake news to convince people of what the democrats are doing and to believe everything the republicans are saying...when what they are saying, is very dangerous school of thought; for these people to become nothing more than sheep that can rage and hurt others without a care; since Trump has been doing that in the public eye and social media.

Trump doesn’t want to hear the truth and those who don’t agree with him and make it known on news channels...where he takes comfort in social media; which he can easily bend those to his thought process and believe in it. I shit you not my mother believes in this thought process; which I believe is from FB. She’s now on FB more often and her friend who is too (the one that’s got chemical brain and talks to her daily)...that the three red strips in Biden’s campaign design is related to China...because some asshole who wanted to stir things up and cause chaos; when Biden was mimicking Obama’s campaign design. I couldn’t tell my mother other wise due to her hard belief in this...and this was a woman, who years ago when my father died- she did massive research on the pesticides that cause my dad’s cancer, which lead to his death. And she would always look into things. Yet due to her being chair bound as her ankle heals...she’s been on social media more and more; which I am not addict to social media like I was to an extent 10yrs ago. She believes in the republicans on what the democrats are going to do, on making our American country into one of socialism and the socialism very that is being inferred is the one in which we have no rights. Then there was another time this reference was brought up- note by my mothers and believing that by destroying all the stores, would cause this country to quickly turn into a socialism nation. I told her we have three branches of government and it isn’t going to change, due to how the three branches of government works. She replies go ahead and believe that it will stay the same, once Biden is in office.

This is what I mean about a ripple effect of these dangerous school of thoughts and to be violent to others and keep the cycle of abuse going. My mother is a woman who could think for herself...yet these past four years under Trump it’s more of the social media fake news to scare people in buying guns...in order to “protect” themselves from an uprising of the minorities; who will come and attack our home and to protect ourselves... I am not making this up - this actually came out of my mother’s mouth when I question my mothers on why my brother had three guns and a SNIPER RIFFLE. And the other push for buying guns that Democrats would ban guns- this causing my brother to buy so much damn ammo for his “guns” that he can be his own militia army...where these people are too stupid to realize the rights to have guns is within our 10 Amendments. It is as if no one remembers our Amendments and how our three branches of government works any more of history.

And if I have to show you dangerous school of thought to cause chaos look to the dr who lost his medical license due to things that endanger a patient, because he was putting his believes onto this woman...instead of the best care to help her. He went on social media on video saying the 5G towers were “causing the COVID” and he would go on and on about it...where he’s clearly not right in the head...but of course you have mental sick idiots who will believe someone that “appears” smarter than them. And what did they do...they went around in Europe and destroying those 5G towers.

Trump’s legacy should be of a different social experiment (which they refereed to the prohibition), on how a man could use social media to bend people to his unhealthy thought process and make others stupid to believe in everything he says. Look how some republicans are believing the election is a fraud still, due to Trump losing, and this is a man who’s always got his way and his energy aura has to be very intimating for no one to say “NO” to him. For an other average person to pull the same shit off as Trump; would be arrested in a heartbeat, yet they are afraid of this man. Which I believe, when it comes time for him to leave office and we know he won’t go peacefully; to get a trank-gun and shoot him with it; then put a straight jacket on him and haul him away to a really heavily secured mental ward. Trump has caused healthy minded people to do things, that were not seen under Obama and Bush’s time in office. I only pick them, due to the fact I was more aware of how the president worked and being able to vote. Trump is a mental disease in his own way and to see others catch this and treat those around them...like Trump treats others, as if they are beneath his feet. I don’t know how much more rage outbursts that I’m going to have to deal with, in regards to my mother as this year ends and Biden will soon be in office. Plus keep in mind, I am the only one of her two children home (due to can’t find a job) to help her out and drive her around and she treats me like this...also I wasn’t the one who left something in my mother’s path of walking for her to fall and hurt herself, it was my brother. Yet he’s not helping out as much more, due to him being happy that his back working Narcotics unit; since he was desked for awhile due to he, himself breaking his leg and ankle of the right side a year ago from mom hurting herself.

I am really concern seeing what this nation has become and seeing how my mother and brother are on board with the words coming out of Trump’s mouth; especially my mom’s friend. I guess I felt compelled to write out my fear on seeing this...awhile ago, I read two articles that psychoanalyzed Trump by some professional therapist, as they watched and observed him on tv and looked into his history, on the life he had growing up. I honestly don’t know how long it will take to make society more...I honestly can’t find the right word....less violent and more willing to hurt others in a sick twisted obsession...? Yet that still happens in this world...maybe I’m looking for is......less negative fuel to fuel the monsters that are wearing masks and are two face to people...pretending by day to be a respectable person of society and when not watched by those people...take the mask off and reveal the monster underneath willing to hurt others; as they see Trump has done, and what he’s encourage to happen in this country.

So if you have family members, friends or co-workers/bosses who have similar thought process like my family... try your best to endure it and make sure you have something you can discreetly touch to ground you... or go for more pee breaks and just say you’re body’s off...if you get questioned.

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mymarvelbunch · 5 years ago

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Be Your Own Hero - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 2)

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/N) has lost all her family and most friends in The Decimation (I refuse to call it The Blip). Refusing to believe their deaths are permanent, she dedicate years to find a way to reverse it. When she finally finds something that might help, she searches for the Avengers. It’s Steve Rogers x Reader, but there is also a lot of Badass!Reader. Also, Non-American!Reader. If you are American, think of a country you’d have loved to be born into :D

Warnings: a brief mention of guns, but nothing serious.

Note: Y/Co = your country. Y/Ci = your city; Y/N/L = your native language.

So, there is some worldbuilding in this one and a few things that differ from canon, for no other reason than I liked the idea I had haha. It’s not much, just to help the plot mostly.

Previously: You took a deep breath and said, in a low voice, the sentence you read as being the password for entering a Sanctum (...).The woman arched her eyebrows. You bit your lip, waiting for her to call a psychiatric ambulance, but she simply smiled. “Follow me, sister.”

Part Two

You were guided through a huge number of corridors. The house was much lager than it looked on the outside; probably a result of magic. Eventually, the woman stopped by a large door. She opened it slowly and gestured for you to get in. “The Master is waiting for you.”

Waiting for you? Now that was interesting. You thanked the woman and got in, hearing the door closing behind you.

A red-haired woman, who looked to be 50 years old, was sitting down in a brown and green carpet at the center of the big room. “Welcome, Y/N. I’ve been expecting you for some time.”

You blinked and took a few steps in her direction. “You knew I was coming.” It wasn’t a question, but she answered anyway.

“Yes. And I know why you are here.” The woman smiled and stood up. “Normally, I wouldn’t let anyone enter the Sanctum just like that, but I see great promise in you, Y/N Y/L/N. Let me guide you to our library.”

You followed her, awed by her words. You had expected a lot of obstacles in your way to get to the Sanctum; it was a secret order, after all. But the Master herself was leading you to the place where you could get all your answers. It seemed too good to be true.

“With all due respect, ma’am”, you said as you walked through more corridors, “How can I trust this is not a trap?”

She stopped walking and turned to look at her. “You are wise to suspect it. It all seems so easy, right? But remember all your effort to find out about this place. Besides, there isn’t much else you can do now but follow me, is there?”

You nodded. She was right; you had to trust her if you wanted to make any progress. Also, what was the worst thing that could happen? Death?

It wasn’t like you had much to live for. You wanted to live, sure, but you wanted even more to bring your family back. It was worth the risk.

After a few more turns, you reached an even larger door than the first one. The Master opened the door and got in with you. “Here”, she said, “you can find books on all information regarding magic that we know of. I can’t guarantee you will find everything you’ve been looking for, but I can help you finding the right books and manuscripts.”

“Why are you doing this?”, you asked politely. “You may have predicted my arrival, but how can you know I’ll use this information for good?”

The Master smiled softly. “I don’t know, exactly. I’m not in possession of the Time Stone, so my powers are a bit limited, and they have weakened shortly after the Decimation, for reasons I’d rather not tell you now. But I have enough power to be sure of your good heart, Y/N. I can’t predict whether you’ll be successful or not, but I’m sure you are on our side. I have faith in you to do what none of us have had the cleverness or the courage to do.”

That said, she started walking. Too stunned to reply, you followed her.

January 2021

The Master, who politely refused to give you any other name to call her, was true to her word. All writings regarding alien life and the Infinity Stones were handed to you, and you even had your own room. Other sorcerers showed up every now and then to offer you food and water. Always surprised by their kindness, you couldn’t help but ask why.

“The Master has been mentioned your arrival since last year”, they’d say. “She said you were a sign of hope. If she trusts you, so must we.”

It all seemed so easy, and you were overwhelmed with gratitude. Many times you asked how you could thank the Master for such generosity. Her reply was always the same: “Save the universe, Y/N. There is no need to do anything else.”

Of course, ‘save the universe’ was no easy task, but the Master’s faith in you strengthened your resolve to reach the bottom of the mystery behind the Decimation, and find a way to reverse it.

Your reading was slow. Despite all the help, and despite having quit your job to fully dedicate yourself to your research, the sorcerers couldn’t be with you all times, and half of the writing wasn’t in Y/N/L, but in freaking Sanskrit. Google Translate wasn’t the most reliable way, but sometimes the only one to find out what the texts said. So far you gathered the following information:

There were six Infinity Stones: Time, Space, Mind, Reality, Soul and Power. They were created along with the universe itself.

The Stones were somewhat sentient, though the extent of this was still unknown.

The Tesseract was the Space Stone. The Aether was the Reality Stone. Vision had been powered by the Mind Stone.

It is unknown how any of the aforementioned Stones ended up on Earth, even though there are mentions of the Tesseract since World War II.

The whereabouts of the Soul and Power Stones were unknown. They likely had never taken to Earth until Thanos’ arrival.

The Time Stone, which the Master had mentioned on your first day, had been in possession of the Masters of the Mystic Arts since Medieval times.

The last known guardian of the Time Stone had been Stephen Strange, a former neurosurgeon who lived in New York. According to the Master, Tony Stark witnessed his death and said he was a victim of the Decimation. His testimony was trusted by Strange’s sorcerer colleague. It was unknown how exactly the Time Stone was stolen; Stark didn’t tell.

Until mid-2016, said Stone was guarded by a woman called Ancient One. The Master said information on her was unlikely to be useful, so you didn’t try to find more.

If one gets all six Stones and manages to conceal their powers somehow, it is possible to make any wish.

It was useful information, and it gave you hope. The last point explained why Thanos had to gather all Stones to do what he did, but it also opened a possibility. If you (or anyone else, for that matter) managed to get back the Stones, you could use them to wish for everyone who was dusted to be brought back.

Now, what could you do to get them?

Suddenly you remembered something the Master said on your first day. Her powers got weaker shortly after the Decimation, for reasons she’d “rather not tell” you then. Would she be willing to tell you now? There was only a way to find out.

The next time a sorcerer came to your room, a young man this time, you asked to be taken to the Master. Nodding, he guided you to her room. The Master seemed to be meditating, but showed no trouble in your sudden arrival. She was probably waiting for you, you thought.

“Good afternoon, Y/N”, she said. You greeted her back. “How may I help you?”

You sat down on the carpet in front of her. “Master, you told me your powers have weakened shortly after the Decimation, though not immediately after. You said you knew why, but wouldn’t tell me on my first day. Would you be able to tell me now?”

The Master smiled softly, like she always did when talking to you. “First, tell me what you’ve learned so far.”

You told her all your findings, and the conclusions you reached thanks to them. “I don’t think I’d be able to do this alone, of course, but... if I find the Stones, figure out a way to conceal their powers... I’d make a wish. For everyone to be brought back.”

“But what about Thanos? Don’t you think he’d try to re-do what you reversed?”

“Well, we don’t even know if this guy is still alive. If he is... I’m not fond of the idea of killing someone, Master, but maybe there is a way to permanently prevent Thanos from getting the Stones again.”

The Master nodded, but asked no further questions on that matter. She probably didn’t agree with you, but... well. Like you said, you probably wouldn’t do it by yourself.

“I think you are ready for the answer, Y/N. The reason behind my weakened powers is because the Time Stone no longer exists as it used to.”

You frowned. Was that a riddle? “I’m sorry, but could you explain it a little better for me, Master?”

“I am not much well-versed in the Stones, Y/N. I became a Master rather recently, and before that my studies were focused on other matters of the Mystic Arts. Some of what you told is new information for me, I must admit. However, what I know is that someone attempted to destroy the Time Stone, and likely the others as well.”

You took a deep breath. It couldn’t be. “But your powers have only weakened, not disappeared. It means the Stone is still out there.”

“Yes, Y/N, but I’m afraid it’s not in its natural form.”

You stood up. “There must be some information on what happens if you try to destroy a Stone”, you concluded. “The Stones are responsible for the universe’s balance and its very existence. If the universe still stands, the Stones are still present.” A pause. “You said Stephen Strange’s colleague survived the Decimation. Do you think we’d be able to contact them?”

The Master nodded. “What would you like me to ask?”

“If they know what happened to the Stones, and what happens if someone tries to destroy them. In the meantime, I’ll try to find the answers myself. Please, Master.”

The Master assured you she’d try to reach the other sorcerer soon. Pleased, you thanked her and headed back to your room.

Four months later

You gathered more information on the Stones, but not what you truly wanted to know. The New York sorcerer didn’t know much either. All he knew, thanks to an Avenger he didn’t name, was that Thanos left Earth with the Stones even before people started to become dust.

So far, you found no records on attempts to destroy the Stones. There were only notes on the dangers of an ordinary human being coming in contact with them; apparently, the only safe Stone was Time, out of the four that had been on Earth at one point or another.

Eventually, all writings were read and translated, and you still didn’t have the information you were looking for. But you couldn’t give up. You’ve been on this for nearly three years now, and you were closer than ever; you wouldn’t give up simply because one piece of information was missing.

If only it wasn’t the most important piece require to find the Stones... you’d have already boarded a plane to find the Avengers with what you already had.

You began to take the book and manuscripts back to the library, putting them back in place carefully. As you left to get another portion (you got a lot of documents), a section caught your attention: Physics.

At that point, anything could be useful, so you headed to that section. It had been years since you actually studied Physics (it wasn’t a subject in Med School), so you’d probably have trouble understanding it, but at least almost all books were written in Y/N/L.

Near the end of the bookcase, you found some books about Quantum Physics. Your thoughts stopped abruptly. Where did you read that term before?

Ant-Man’s suit is said to be based on Quantum Physics, which is what allows him to shrink and get big in the blink of an eye...

The Infinity Stones exist not only in macroscopic form, but also in quantum form, in the Quantum Realm, allowing them bring balance on all dimensions of existence.

You sat down on the library floor, ignoring the mild pain in your butt as you did so. That was the answer! If the Stones were physically destroyed, they could be found in the Quantum Realm! But how could you access it?

Scott Lang had been reported missing since the Decimation. He even featured on Buzzfeed Unsolved back in early 2019, after footage showed him and the Van Dyne family on the top of a building. Suited up as Ant-Man (no one really knew they were the same until the footage leaked), he entered a van and never came back, even after the Van Dyne were shown being dusted. The police searched the entire van, but there was no trace of Lang.

Many theorized he entered a machine that was inside the van, given it seemed Hope Van Dyne was working on a machine. Was she supposed to take him out and back to the world? If so, was he stuck somewhere?

At that moment, a thought overcame you:

You had to get that van.

August 2021

The Master contacted other sorcerers around the world, and most agreed that your theory was plausible: the Infinity Stones could be in the Quantum Realm. Nobody knew how to safely reach it though, so that van was your biggest hope.

You went back into hacking. You knew Scott Lang had lived in California, and you managed to get a still of the footage with the van’s plate. It took you quite some time, but you finally found out where the van was stocked.

The Master offered to open a portal straight there, but you concluded that safest option was to go legally, by plane. You were already planning on breaking into the building and possibly steal that van; the less crimes you committed, the better. Besides, it was the United States you were talking about. One of the most paranoid nations in this world.

The plan was simple, though not easy: board a plane to Los Angeles, get a hotel room (previously booked of course, because the visa department always asked for hotel address beforehand) near the place where the was located, figure out to break into the building, do it, turn the van on and hope for the best.

It was a highly flawed plan, but the best you’ve got so far. If things went wrong and you were, say, deported, you could just ask the Master to open a portal straight to the Avengers facility and tell them your findings.

(Plan B should probably plan A, but you really wanted to get to the Avengers with everything ready. That way they’d be more inclined to take you seriously.)

Plane tickets were expensive, but spending a year in a temple without spending a single coin in basic needs helped you save money for that very moment. On your grandmother’s supposed 93rd birthday, you landed on Los Angeles.

As you expected, you were asked many questions about your intentions and when you planned to go back to Y/Co. You had bought a ticket back to Y/Ci for two months later and showed them. You also claimed that you were a tourist who planned on visiting all cities your late family had wanted to go. You had yet to book hotels for the other cities, could they please recommend you some?

Nobody suspected a thing, much to her relief.

The building where the van was located was near some famous restaurant, where some celebrities often had dinner at, so you presence on that street wasn’t suspicious at all. On your first night, you showed up at a restaurant across the building.

“All tables are reserved”, the waiter said. You were expecting that already.

“Is there any possibility of getting a free table tonight? I mean, even if I’m the last person to get in. My friend recommended this restaurant and I was looking really forward to it.”

The waiter sighed. “You should have made a reservation then, but if you are willing to wait...”

Exactly what you were hoping for. With luck, you’d have to wait all night to get a table (if you got one), which gave you a lot of time to watch the building and find out about its security.

As it turned out, after 11 PM there was only one guard, seemingly unarmed. It surprised you; weren’t Americans inclined to have guns everywhere? Maybe things had changed after the Decimation.

On midnight, the waiter came to you and said there was no way for them get you a table. You feigned sadness and thanked him for his kindness. You had gotten the information you came to find.

On the following night, you went to a theater nearby and watched the latest DC movie. You weren’t even looking forward to that one, but it was good way to pass time.

You left the theater past midnight. Perfect. You sneaked inside the building with surprisingly little trouble. Finding the van was slightly harder, since you didn’t want to use a lantern, but eventually you did.

Before beginning the challenge of turning the van on without its key, you inspected its entirety. Was there truly a machine inside? If it was an ordinary van, the footage would have been just a camera trick, and you’d have to find another way to get into the Quantum Realm - which would certainly require a trip to other planets, something you didn’t know if was possible or not. For seconds, you prayed for a machine to appear.

And appear it did, in the back of the van. There was even a panel with some buttons. It looked like something that came straight from the 80s, but you didn’t care. You pressed a couple buttons and waited. Suddenly the lights turned on and the machine started moving fast. You jumped to the side just in time.

The van doors opened and a human being was tossed out. You heard groaning and approached them. The building was still dark, but, thanks to the machine lights, you could see their face clearly.

It was Scott Lang. Ant-Man. Back from the dead.

Not exactly what you were expecting, but okay.

-----------

Finally! Next part will feature our wonder boy Steve.

I always found it strange that Thanos wished to destroy the Stone and they just... obeyed and self-destructed. This part features my theory on what actually happened, since it’s what makes the most sense.

Taglist (open!): @autobotgirl15-blog @starstrucknature @cheeseburgersstuff

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marvel imagine #captain america #doctor strange #the Mystic Arts #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america x you #captain america x y/n #avengers: endgame

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veryvincible · 5 years ago

Text

The Shitstorm That Is TS:IM and IM2020: The Allegory of Nothing

4 / 4. We’re here.

The writers don’t know what artificial intelligence is.

1 2 3

Let’s go back to the beginning. Jocasta is the robotics ethicist of Stark Unlimited. The company has adopted a system wherein the automated employees are in a non-hierarchical environment. Tasks are “suggested, not ordered.”

And guess what that does? Well, when these employees are needed, this happens:

The majority of them are non-compliant. And what’s the solution to this?

Apparently, give them a phat beat for Tony to kick Fin Fang Foom’s ass to. That’s what Andy Bhang decided to do, but only after following the “proper ethical protocol” when speaking to Jocasta. Which is... saying “please.”

Because, you know, saying things like, “Hey, I need you to do [whatever the fuck]” when a giant dragon is laying siege to your city is... oppressive, I guess. It doesn’t matter that that’s how humans tend to talk to other humans in emergencies, because Jocasta’s a robot ethicist and a functioning AI, and this "proper ethical protocol” is to slow things down with formalities instead of allowing everyone to treat each other like individuals.

By all means, continue to buffer the solution so everyone can say “please.” It’s only Tony who’s out there fighting a giant monster.

I actually like Jocasta. I think she’s a good character in most of the media she appears in. But here? Well, here, everyone is shitty.

It’s glaringly obvious that the goal here isn’t robot... equality. These sentient machines are just free rein. Sure, they work for Stark Unlimited. Sure, they’re employees... but they actually don’t have to do any work, like, ever, unless they want to.

So, they’re obviously not being treated like human beings. They’re practically high-tech babies, which is exactly how you want to present your oppressed group in your revolution plotline. Especially in this political climate! Hierarchy is most certainly oppressive! These robots can’t handle having real human jobs! They’re just so innocent and flawless.

...

And out of place.

Here’s the thing. Dan Slott... doesn’t really know what AI is. These little nano-suits that are coming in to help save the day have no reason to be sentient. Sure, they might be artificially intelligent, but sentient? No.

Artificial Intelligence refers to a computer science field that focuses on learning and problem-solving machines. These machines gather data and use this data later on in order to make decisions. If you use email, your spam filter is a result of AI. Our phones learn how we respond to certain messages (and pick up our diction even out of context) as a result of AI and machine learning.

Chatbots simulate human speech, often by using messages compiled from other humans. The more you talk to them, the more organically they’ll seem to respond. They recycle human messages and send them back.

Deep learning is a more specialized form of learning that more closely resembles how the human brain functions by organizing information in a non-linear fashion with interconnected neuron nodes. This is what leads to the sentience that’s seen in characters such as FRIDAY, and it’s very obviously not present in every machine with AI capabilities. In essence, artificial intelligence is not synonymous with sentience.

So... Why does TS:IM treat these concepts like they’re interchangeable? Why is it that the featured AI revolution is so dependent on the feelings of machines that have no chance of becoming sentient? Again, Tony’s nano-suits could be just that: nano-suits. There’s nothing saying that these suits have to be sentient. In fact, it’s worse if you consider them to be.

If all it takes for a machine to be considered a part of this AI revolution is some problem-solving, wouldn’t Tony’s actual suits also be considered AI? They have autopilot, don’t they? They avoid obstacles. The HUD provides useful information regardless of whether or not a character AI is residing in the suit.

For example, here’s a scene wherein some researchers are doing a robot stability test with one of these lovable dog-like machines.

Now, I cringe when I see the poor guy get pushed down. But you know who doesn’t cringe? The dog-like robot, because the dog-like robot feels nothing. It’s a learning machine, but it is not a sentient being. Not even a loving heart emoji directed toward its robot savior.

Another example?

This right here.

From combat drones to... coffee makers? Coffee makers are supposed to be oppressed here? What’s a Keurig going to do with sentience anyway? How’s it going to get to the fight? It doesn’t have legs. This machine doesn’t have legs. Or wheels. Or anything.

Because it’s a coffeemaker, not a member of society. And this dilution of meaning with regards to sentient beings also dilutes the message of the AI revolution. It’s not pointed out in-universe how fucking crazy it is for all of these machines to be considered oppressed when they don’t even have the mental capacity to think past prompting “French press or Espresso?” on a touch screen.

There’s also a serious question asked here: What would a sentient machine think about being a sentient machine?

And we have gotten some pretty thoughtful answers out of this. For example, Jocasta thinks she has a soul. And Tony, despite his flesh and blood, is still in existential limbo because of the idea that he might be artificial intelligence after all.

And... the depth ends there, because all sentient machines in this universe want to do is... be human.

Like, really. They want to be human.

The reality of what it would mean to exist solely in one form without ever experiencing what it’s like to be in another is completely swept away here. There’s very little differentiation between robots who want to be humans and robots who want to be robots with rights. Also, there’s very little differentiation between robots who want to be robots with rights and Keurigs.

But really, this is also kind of frustrating. Sure, it could be a nod to certain feelings of oppressed groups who don’t fit in. It could be a clever bit of characterization akin to that of a young Asian-American girl wanting to be white so she doesn’t get bullied in school, or a gay person who’s always wished they could be straight.

Except it’s not, because nothing in this run feels like it’s been thought through to that extent.

Instead, what we have is a confusing mess. Most of these robots (with the exception of some) want to be treated exactly like humans, whether it’s actually better for them as a species (?) or not.

For example:

What makes an AI feel “cooped up?” FRIDAY, from what we’ve been shown, was usually given free rein of the tower. The same way our phones respond when we say, “Hey Siri!” or “Okay, Google!”, FRIDAY responded when she was called on. No matter where Tony was in the tower, she could be there, too.

And also, she was in the suit.

There is no reason that any AI should have to be restricted to one specific place or another, and yet throughout the entirety of the run, AIs are only allowed to be in one place at any given time. Why is that?

Sure, it’s nice to have a body. And if they want a body to go out and interact with the world, more power to them. The body is the least of my concerns.

I just hate that any AI is considered to be a “helpless passenger” at all, when machines the likes of these should be more than capable of not only going wherever they’d like to go within their allowed boundaries (which, again, should be and has been shown to be much larger than “just the suit”), but also going wherever they’d like to go at any time. They can be in two places at once. Presumably, if they’re complex enough to seriously contemplate the philosophy of being, they’ve got the processing power to be on multiple simpler trains of thought at once, and they’ve got the ability to control multiple bodies or project in multiple locations at once.

And even if this were a total retcon, and it turned out that actually, the capability for AIs to be in multiple places at once was never a thing before now...

It’s specifically stated on the exact same page that this is possible.

It’s truly dumbfounding.

And perhaps the worst offender of all: the complete disregard for any kind of philosophy or conversation about what it means to be an entity.

So, we’re all aware of 616 Tony’s current story if we’re reading this. Multiple times in his life, he’s been replaced by backup copies of himself, mostly holographic or otherwise exclusively digital.

And Jocasta treats him like Tony. Or, well, she treats him like a version of Tony. Whatever the case, she’s never shown any hostility toward him whatsoever for being a fleshy backup. This never made him any less valuable.

But... She’d rather let FRIDAY die for good than be given a second chance at life, because if they loaded up the backup, she’d be... missing a week of memories.

A week of memories that made her “a completely different entity.”

Now, I’m not here to lecture anyone on what it means to be yourself. I’m really not.

But the main difference between the original Tony and this current Tony (if we’re working off the assumption that he’s not supposed to have a totally different and fucked up personality) is the “memory loss,” or rather, lack of available data. Functionally, it’s amnesia.

And you know what? The original Tony has this too. There are already things that Tony doesn’t remember because of his time spent as an AI. Essentially, every single Tony that could possibly exist in 616 canon right now (even TonAI, our lovable blue friend with a control freak streak) is just as Tony as all the other Tonys, because they all have the memories of their developmental stages and quite a bit of the time spent with the Avengers, and they all have missing information.

So, if FRIDAY’s one-week-ago backup were to be loaded up, what would happen? Would she be completely different?

No. She would have every single memory that FRIDAY had originally, with the exception of whatever memories she saved in the last week of her life. And yet, because of the lack of critical thinking that went into the writing process, Jocasta decided that a dead FRIDAY was better than a FRIDAY with memory loss.

The writing is lazy. The thinking involved in this entire plotline is little to none. Coffeemakers are not oppressed, and a friend waking up from a comatose state with a few memories missing is better than that friend dying. Not every AI is sentient.

And to top it all off, after arguing for 20 or so issues that AIs are people, too, and every life- even the life of a Keurig or a stability testing machine- is valuable...

Tony devalued his own, concluding the worst AI-centric plotline I’ve ever read.

Whoopsie.

#tony stark #tony stark: iron man #ts:im #marvel comics #iron man #dan slott #iron man 2020

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