#so people who dont want to be bothered by them dont have to be
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i think what people need to understand is that no amount of essays assuring me of veilguard's strengths, of which i agree there are plenty, is going to change the fact that the emotional experience veilguard prompted within me (and for many others) while i played it was a deeply negative one. discomfort at best, painful at worst. im talking stomach aches. visceral, somatic creeping disappointment and dread that i tried to fight for hours and hours but eventually had no choice but to accept. i stopped wanting to play entirely around 30 hours. i felt vaguely ill. i felt anxious. i could not sleep for a few days. and im not saying i felt sick because it was so bad, but that i felt sick because of the sinking realization that i was about to be terribly, horribly disappointed after so, so long. you could call me dramatic and im sure someone will. idk what to tell you. my emotions manifest physically long before they become decipherable or understandable to me mentally, especially when they're 10 years in the making. probably an autism symptom. regardless, it was genuinely pretty awful, especially because i had immense good faith for this game. i was so hopeful and optimistic and generally thrilled and literally anyone who followed me before october 31 would know that. the emotional whiplash and crash was intense and devastating, and i was reeling for days. you cannot tell me that this experience was "wrong" or "toxic" due to it's negative nature. it was entirely involuntary and outside of my control, as i would expect many people's joy was. emotional reactions are not beholden to fandom discourse.
any post i have made criticizing the game since is attempt to make sense of the emotional roller-coaster of the past 10 years, this summer, and finally this game's release. i do not come on here and write out my criticisms of veilguard because i want YOU to dislike it too. the nature of my essays are not persuasive. if they do persuade you its just because i am a well-trained essayist. sorry. if they dont, great! that wasnt the point. i have no desire to change anyone's mind on the game, in fact i actually would not wish the disappointment i felt on anyone. the fact that i have a lot of followers who agree with what i say and who spread the thoughts i express across tumblr is literally out of my control. when i write out my long-winded criticisms, it is out of a need to express and externalize that sinking, cold feeling i had while playing, in pursuit of understanding exactly why playing that game felt that way to me. identifying, analyzing and verbalizing is the only way i have been able to process my experience. its confessional and therapeutic more than anything. it helps other people understand their own difficult emotional process with the game. its not an attempt to ruin your fun. my negative experience with veilguard does not invalidate anyone else's positive one.
i see so many posts acting like all criticism is an intentional, targeted hate campaign and i dont understand that assumption. to what ends? what would that achieve? why would i bother with such a thing? maybe that is some people's intention in the deep hater corners of this website, and im blissfully unaware. if it is, fuck them. its certainly the intention of annoying grifters, but i feel the distinction between transphobe grifters and devastated fans is pretty clear, so im not sure why the lines are deliberately blurred as if those groups are remotely similar. some of my criticisms come from a more objective place. the writing comes to mind, and it's a consistent criticism from thousands of players. but just because i consider it to be poorly executed, does not make it unlovable. and when i say that i think its poorly done, i am not saying that you cannot or should not love it, or that you are stupid for loving it. maybe someone out there is saying that!!! but i am not. things do not have to be perfect to be enjoyable. they dont even have to be well executed to be enjoyable. "i think x aspect of veilguard is poorly done for yz reasons" is a completely different sentence than "you should not like x aspect of veilguard for yz reasons". these are not the same statements. i see so many posts that are so vitriolic and acting like two experiences of this game cannot coexist, that one has to win and be objectively right, moralizing them on a false axis of positivity = good and negativity = bad, and acting like the existence of one negates the experience of the other. and why? why would that be true? i literally love so many things that other people think are absolute ass. i also love plenty of things that i myself think are actual ass. i love them anyway. this is allowed and really fun. i am not sure who told you that it is not.
however, i have just as much of a right to express my disappointment as you have to express your excitement. i am genuinely happy for everyone who loves the game, i am glad it resonated, or that you saw yourself in its characters, or that it just scratched your hyperfixation itch. but whatever je ne se quoi it had for you, it did not have for me. i have written out so much criticism about so many aspects of the game, but fundamentally what it comes down to and what i cannot express in words is that while i played after waiting 10 years for that moment, it felt wrong. it wasn't that i had specific expectations for game story that were not met, in fact, it exceeded my expectations in a lot of ways. i mean that in terms of how i felt, something was off. it did not resonate. it did not land. it did not hit the right cord with me. i did not have enough moments of joy to outweigh the feeling of emptiness. i did not walk away from it feeling the way that the previous games made me feel. and ive been trying to figure out exactly why that is for three months now by talking about it with people who feel similarly. i am not sure that i will ever be able to analyze my way into figuring it out. it might just have to simply be that it left me bereft.
and so my posts are not anti-veilguard hater propaganda to make you feel like shit for loving the game. rather, they are me verbally processing exactly why i feel like shit so i can hopefully stop feeling like shit. to assume that people who are trying to process these negative feelings are toxic and intentionally malicious is a projection made in bad faith. i love dragon age, and it is because i love it so much that it disappointed me, and it is because disappointed me that i have to verbally process it on tumblr.com so that i dont go absolutely insane. i tag my posts properly. i do not go into tags where i do not belong. i do not rage-bait. i am participating in post-partum dragon age therapy between me and my followers. if it ends up on your dash, sorry. my therapy is popular i guess. so please for the love of god enjoy the game, freely and enthusiastically. i am happy for you. i will sit here and be jealous that it spoke to something in your soul that it unfortunately did not speak to in mine, and nothing i say can take that away from you. please stop interpreting it as an attempt to.
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Hello granddad!! Really enjoyed the new episode by the way :D I just wanted to ask something, I dont know if you already answered this so I'm sorry for bothering you if you have D:
Do you have a particular interest in nuclear physics? I'm wondering because when I watch ION it seems to me like you must be very passionate about it as well, either that or your just very good at researching (or making stuff up this sounds legit to people who dont know anything about physics, like me! /j), but it sounds like you know a considerable amount! Maybe it just seems like that to me because I don't understand physics at all :P
I really love cracklin!! So much!!! I've felt like I was too naive and childish for most of my life, I felt weak, pathetic, i cried nearly every day and my feelings of self hatred were only solidified by the people around me. And even though I act MUCH differently now and am in fact quite crude (I am much like a bird squawking outside your window that refuses to shut up!!!) and say uncomfortable things, I'm still regarded as naive and dumb sometimes! The thing Sylvia and cracklin have going on feels very similar to MANY friendships I've had with girls my age. I liked school very much and liked to work, so it made them angry that I managed to be "so stupid and so smart at the same time" (quoted directly from something a girl said to me when I was in middle school). I feel very seen.
I also want to ask if you have a particular interest in object shows, or if you just happened to choose to make your show an object show by coincidence? Object shows are my special interest and I LOVE how your show goes against (almost) everything standard for an object show. Your show is absolutely unique and there's nothing like it out there! I'm sure you will inspire many young creators to make their object shows more serious and complex, deviating from just the typical competition show. In my eyes something is qualified as an object show when there are objects (or non human characters) and the creator considers it an object show, so I love how versatile the title can be! Your designs communicate a lot about the characters and that's SO uncommon!!!! I love it!!!!! You inspire ME!!!! The art is also BEAUTIFUL, really abnormal to see in object shows, most of the time very little detail is put into it, but your backgrounds feel so ALIVE
Have a good day! :]
☢️ As soon as I saw this secret message, the words flashed through my mind: “this letter is very autistic, perhaps it was created by an autistic person.” ☢️ I love long opinions with lots of details and sincere emotions, thank you for this text, I was very happy reading it!
☢️ Yes, you guessed it - nuclear physics (especially everything related to the operation of Nuclear Power Plants) has been my special autistic interest for about 5 years now. I love everything about it. In fact, I am absolutely bad at the exact sciences, but the dance of nuclear energies fascinates me and takes my breath away! I order manuals on nuclear reactors for myself and read them with great pleasure, waving my hands. I often go to a coffee shop to read there by the window with a cup of coffee ^^
☢️ I created ION during the most terrible period of my life, and this project was the only thing that held me while anxious depression was rapidly developing and consuming me into some bottomless black abyss. So I put my whole soul, all of myself and what I love into ION, I made this project my mirror. ☢️ It is very important for me to see how this story touches the hearts of other people, I scream with delight if some neurodivergent people recognize themselves in Cracklin! This is extremely important to me.
☢️ Object shows are not my special interest, but I was very surprised and intrigued by this genre of web animation. At first, I did not like the concept of an object show and I could not understand why people were watching it … and then something switched inside me and I really wanted to create my own experimental Object show. To create it entirely myself. To make an author's project that will become a part of me. I didn't even hope that ION would be liked by anyone else, I posted 1 episode with the thought that I was doing it only for myself. And now I am happy as a rainbow in the sky, reading so many kind comments and support! Thank you very much
#ion object show#investigation of object nuclearity#i.o.n.#object shows#ион обджект шоу#и.о.н.#cracklin ion#object show community#special interest#autistic character#osc community#objects#object show#osc
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Ok Anon is totally on to something
Hermitcraft/Life series Doctor who au where Scar is the Eleventh doctor, It's perfect and then we make the hermits and lifers be people they meet,
Cause I'm a sucker for scarian I'm gonna say grian would be River Song, It makes a lot of sense in the long run cause of the whole river song being the one who kills the doctor and all that shabang,
I dunno who would have more chemistry as Amy and Rory though because we would have to consider Amy's whole in love with the doctor arc and then you have to consider which hermits would fit as Grians parents
Look I was given this idea. I'm not holding back on all the important details, not to mention I think Mumbo would be a great 10th doctor or 12th doctor, but I'm getting side tracked.
Ok so Imma think for a sec cause I'm typing this out as I have the ideas
Amy would be Lizzie and we would remove the whole romantic arc Amy would have, or not depends of what you want I'm not to bothered
Obviously this means Rory would be Joel which I think is perfect, because Joel and Lizzie would follow each other till the edge of the universe and beyond. I could totally see Scar getting overly attached to them both.
Though it is a bit weird to think that, jizzie being Rory and Amy would mean Grian is their son and I think thinking about it too much might make me just as confused as the actual show did.
The Silence would still be the same except they're kinda this universes watchers/listeners.
Madm Korariam would be Cleo (the eye patch lady that took river) which means they're the bad guy but that's OK she'd be a good villain and it would suit her character kinda (if anyone has a better suggestion maybe mention it)
Jimmy and Scott would be those Gay Worker Dudes we see in A Good Man Goes to War
So now I'll move onto some of the best episodes in my opinion that would be the best in my au
The Pandorica Opens, so Joel would definitely wait the time Rory did to protect the Pandorica. He gives the same vibes.
The Wedding of River Song, Scarian and also jizzie interactions.
I dont remember the names of many characters but that wont stop me when i have google
I think Gem and Pearl would be Madam Vastra and Jenny, Strax would be Impulse as was suggested to me and o can totally see it, they have a similar vibe
I want Martyn, Ren, Xisuma, Doc, and Skizz there but I don't know who they'd be
Now I'm going to go back to Twelve for a second cause Mumbo would definitely be Twelve, he gives off the same vibe,
Clara would be.. someone ... I haven't figured who out yet.
And that's all I have for now
I think I'm gonna call this au Eleventh Doctor Scar au for now
the drawing of scar in your banner looks like the 11th doctor
oh shoot you might be onto something here
#scar would totally be the eleventh doctor#scarian#mention#so ill tag the ship#Grian would be a perfect River song ngl#it just fits#joel smallishbeans#gtws#gtwscar#Grian#ldshadowlady#jizzie#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#zombie cleo#I think I've tagged everyone I mentioned#jimmy solidarity#scott smajor#nearly forgot the flower husbands o7#impulsesv
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Hello!! I'm sorry to bother you I just had a question about the reaction fic your planning on writing. I was curious if you would keep the scenes were Annabeth/Anthonius was... borderline abusive. (I get people like this ship, but I personally don't because of Annabeths behaviour. How she treats Percy genuinely makes me uncomfortable. I think that if the genders were reversed, there would have been outrage but because people are more likely to disregard abuse in a relationship if the male is the victim) or will you change them to be something that is less abusive?
The moments I am referring to are where she hits him in the shins, punches him (she does this when percy doesn't ask her to dance), is rude to Rachel or literally any girl who Percy is friends with (kinda seemed like she was intentionally isolating him from his friends to me😶), how he literally says that he feels liek he need to be careful of what he says to her or she'll hit him, the parallels between her calling him seaweed brain and Gabe calling him brain boy. And these are just in the PJO series, not the HOO series. I could go on, but I dont want to seem rude or anything like that😅.
I only ask cuz I'm fairly certain that the ROR world, both Humans and Gods, would want him dead for this. Because the genders are reversed, the Gods and Humans would be more likely to call out Anthonius abuse than they would Annabeth. Not just because it ✨️Percy✨️ but because they are adults who can recognize what behaviour is not ok from a significant other.
(Also, I'm not judging people if they like Annabeth, or Percabeth, there are just... so many things about Annabeths treatment of Percy that disturb me. Also not judging if you decide to leave these scenes in for any reason, it is your fic. I was just curious and couldn't figure out how to word this better😅)
yeah, i'm keeping those scenes! i had a rant about this in my older fics, percabeth doesn't really seem abusive to me like yeah there were bad moments like the ones you mentioned, but i cringed more cuz it honestly just seemed like rick was trying too hard to make annabeth a "badass" cuz if you remember, back when these books were written "strong female character" = loud, rude, sassy girl that hits boys, oooooh so badass! 😅😅
but yes ur also right that now that the genders are reversed, people (the characters and even the readers tbh) would be more against it.
i don't know how much of those instances were in the first book cuz i'm only up to that, but maybe i did change scenes, maybe i didn't. idk, i'm intermixing it with the tv show so some stuff may have been removed to fit it, but i wasn't thinking about those annabeth scenes so i can't say if they've been removed or not from book 1 at least
as for book 2, i also don't know cuz i might intermix it with the show once season 2 hits!
but for the books after that? yeah i'll probs keep it the same cuz i just don't see much of a reason to change it 😅
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my neighbors are starting to annoy me
#it isnt the 4th guys!!!#put your stupid fucking fireworks away!!#can fireworks be illegal pretty please#or at least make it so they can only be shot in secluded areas#so people who dont want to be bothered by them dont have to be#myymi.rant#hoping nobody in my neighborhood is scared of/triggered by loud noises
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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This had been irking me so i have to say it. I know Hellsing is a horror media with a LOT of flashy action scene, however, it is unjust to see it as solely gore and fights. I've seen complaints about how adding a "romance" in will reduce the quality of the story as an "action horror". (specifically speaking is between Alucard and Integra because of course in the end of the day this is just ship war, not a serious discussion whatsoever) I would argue that Hellsing is never ONLY about the actions. Yall might have already noticed how Alucard is too OP, and it was not even because he got any tricks up his sleeves. He is simply invincible, his mechanism is just that hes a "deus ex machina". He did NAWT need to start out with zero and levelling up like your common action anime protagonist. It's not a first time a central character is overpowered in an unreasonable way. A way you could interpret this trope is that it was not about battles, not the physcial one, but the development in their characteristic, their thoughts and emotions and ideology all that stuffs. A classic example is Sir Gawain and The Green Knight (TGK), where all of their (physical) battles are nonsense and did not mean anything in terms of combat, they dont even fight each other, even the climax (the decapitation of TGK) was dismissed into a looney tunes moment. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE BATTLE NOR PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT, it was the internal struggle and maturing in character. THAT is what's happening in Hellsing IF yall look pass the very flashy facade of gore scenes Hirano put up. READ BETWEEN THE LINES, because he's not gonna hand it out to you on a plate. If you want to see how each character developed you have to look closely at their reactions and dialogues, not how they fight.
SO, imo, it's reducing the quality and message of Hellsing to interpret it solely as an action horror media, not the other way around. AND MIND YOU, romance subplot and action horror can coexist. For what does the character fight? A higher ideal? Power? Fun? Love? All that is noteworthy to think about when you engage in a media display many fight scenes. DONT YOU WANNA KNOW WHY THEY FIGHT THAT HARD ???? and in this case it is VERY obvious that Alucard is motivated by Integra. LIKE it cant be more obvious
And I'm so tired of seeing "Alucard only listen to Integra because of the seal and shes a Hellsing". Bestie, he literally ripped Richard's hand off, we dont even know the extent of the seal, like how far? or can it REALLY control Alucard? Besides, if you have read The Dawn you would see what a damn lazy ass Alucard was, Arthur sent him on a mission and he didn't even bother to walk on his own and just sleep safe and sound in his coffin until he felt like waking up??? Compare that to his enthusiasm to beg Integra on four just for her order and even purposefully tick her off by asking about her enthusiasm for war, oh and did we collectively forget this
(This is the Dark Horse eng scan if i remember correctly? i might be mistaken idk)
Sure it could just be a mere parallel, "The woman he personally desired" might only means Mina Harker and not directly Integra herself, I see. But, why bother choosing this parallel, and RIGHT after this panel he went STRAIGHT to Integra to ask for her order.
You know how enthusiastic he is with a fight and everything was already laid before him, worthy enemies and all. Yet he would not act without her words? I did not see him needing permission before ripping Richard's hand off... Also the seal did NAWT ask him to do all this
There are more of his sickening and excessive display of obedience but i don't have time to pull the panels out yet, but we all know its there since Alucard's submissive attitude and Integra's bossy demeanour is one of their most appealing traits, I know, because it is literally one of the BIGGEST selling points and running joke of the fandom, funnyyyy how people always love to call Alucard a sub and use words such as "freaky" and "slutty" to call him as if he didn't reserved this treatment for ONLY Integra. Sure Integra is a demanding boss to even her enemies, and it works like wonder everytime, because she's Integra, she mastered Alucard, others are just piece of cake to her. But that's not the same case with Alucard. Major literally said "She is the only authority Alucard recognizes". And have Alucard extended the phrase "My master" and all the begging and insinuating jokes to anyone else? It's so convenient isnt it, to just take one specific trait of Alucard's personality and make it his entire character without considering to WHO he directed those innuendos to.
Oh and I haven't walk us to the final chapter yet, like the seal did NAWWWWWTTT asked him to call her "Countess" (or Count, depending on the translators) and literally he could accept his death becoming a paradox? Wasn't Alucard had been craving an end for a long while now? Why the need to return just because Integra asked him to??? Be serious for a moment here
Also a personal interpretation of mine that could be a stretch or just pure delulu is that, in the manga AND the anime adaptation, the last word Alucard said after goodbye is "Integra" (In both Japanese and English dub, the word order is exactly the same), not "Master" or "Integra HELLSING". The same goes when he addressed how he can kill without remorse but the decision is in her hand, he also said "I am a monster, now regarding you, Integra". To me that is an indicator for how he CARED for her not just because she's a Hellsing or his master but she's Integra, from the first of their meeting it was very clear, that Alucard wounded A HELLSING to protect Integra.
So... even non-romantically, you cannot deny that Alucard voluntarily worked for Integra. They DO care about each other a lot, even platonically, their bond is almost like soulmates with how well they trust and understand each other. I just don't like it when people keep side-stepping the depth of their relationship just because you don't like to ship them romantically. These are the canon informations you can't just seriously unironically say that there was nothing there.
And oh don't even get me started on the "But he is a vampire, the enemy of her family and he hates Hellsing because of Abraham something something stockholm syndrome something she's ace coded she's lesbian coded she swore to be a virgin until death she wouldnt throw it away for the enemy of her family etcera etcera" you're saying it as if ace people aren't allowed to date or have sex and you're saying it as if Alucard isn't canonically genderfluid. Why always view the ship as solely heteronormative while they were never conventional to begin with. And MIND YOU, i thought everyone love the enemies to lovers trope?? they were BARELY stockholm syndrome at all did we forget about the Bird of Hermes analogy as a metaphor for loyalty voluntarily given.
If you care so much about "monsters and humans are forbidden" and "they are not canon" maybe treat every ship with the same attitude since MOST of hellsing most popular ships fit into that exact two sentences above, maybe except Pip x Seras is canon, but they're also human x monster, so what now???? Just hate on a ship all you like, I hate ships too and I hate them because I don't like them, that's all, no need to do extra mental gymnastic to prove the ship is "wrong" or their shippers are "wrong".
#rant#talking mostly about alucard x integra#so im gonna tag the ship name in case there are people who dgaf or doesnt want to read about alutegra#alucard x integra#alutegra#giggle a bit whenever ander/card and ser/tegra shippers drag alu/tegra for the reasons that their ships also have#like brostie we should be uniting in delusional not fighting#i dont hate the ship but i dont bother dragging them#are you really sure you wanna come for the ship that contain two of the protagonist trio and had MUCH more interactions than your ship#im not saying more screentime means higher possibility of romance implication#however i would not come for a ship with more official material than mine because it is a losing game#are you really sure you wanna go there#i got so pissed so i wrote this down so fast i didnt even misspelled insinuating and innuendo
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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At the end of the day, is kin just someone who identifies as their kintype or not? Is it anyone who actually identifies as their kintype, or do they have to perform all these 'correct' behaviours and social dances to prove that you kin- pardon, that you are kin- correctly?
#beep boop#sorry i got fucking salty on this last one bc its fucking annoying people reblogging a version of that post with dumb misinformation about#how introjects work and whoes entire argument is 'well kin as a verb doesnt work for literally everyone therefore you should stop using it#person who it works for'#when my partner and i both already took down why thats a bad argument but no one bothers to check the fucking notes#and its most useful for fictionkin anyways and then a bunch of dragons and canines are saying well i dont have a use for it#so therefore its bad!#on his post about how HE PERSONALLY USES IT and people turning into like hes commenting that eveyrbody and their dog should use it#LEABVE HIM ALONE#LEAVE VALENTINO ALONE#sorry. i dont mind discussion but it pisses me off when shit we already explained is being ignored#And saying you wouldnt invalidate someone for using it while coming onto someones post about how they personally use it#and admonishing them for doing that#hm.#and this tying back to my very origional post on the topic#which was about how coming at people for how they talk makes the community hostile#regarudless of if you like it or not#can you . consider. minding your bees neez?#and everybody all up about the harm kff do meanwhile using kin as a verb doesnt make you kff and you can spread correct info while still#verbing it#and second of all i have seen new questioning otherkin literally harassed and driven out of wanting to every interact with the kin communit#because of the hostility twoards people who use 'incorrect' lanauge#WHIHC WAS WHAT I WAS ORIGIONALLY TALKING ABOUT#BUT NO ONE WANTS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT DO THEY?#IS DOING DAMADGE TO HE KINMUNNITY SUDDENLY NOT IMPORTANT NOW#IF YOU DONT GET TO GO AROUND AND ENFORCE SOME RULES?#kin discourse#kin as a verb#anyways if you encourage people to be alowed to police behaviour in this way#which is what you are doing if youre saying no one should be allowed to do it which is what the argument people are making is
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There's legal silence where you keep sensitive information to yourself. And there's silence where you don't even say "please be patient we'll update you in time, we're actually talking to the union/the admins/the intern team". For us viewers, we don't need to know more than to have the assurance that things are being taking care of. We don't need to be repeated the exact same info I différent words over and over again.
There's silence with your team where you want to be careful with your wording. And there's silence with your team where you keep them completely in the dark about their future, not even saying what they just need to hear: "sorry about how things turned out, we have no certainty in either taking you back or not, right now our priority is financial stability, we cannot tell you our différent options so far, but we'll update you when and if we can afford to take you back".
There's silence where you ask for discretion because you will not be able to keep that many people in the team and don't want leaks about what branches are kept and which one will close, then announcing to a whole group of admins that they'll be let out of the project starting this or this day. And there's silence where you warn a lot of twitter update admins that they won't be in the project starting immediately through discord and closing said discours before everyone had even a chance to read it.
There's silence where you're afraid of leaks and there's silence where you don't treat people working for you with respect.
#qsmp admins#qsmp neg#quackity studios#quackity neg#im sorry but at this pount donr even bother making an annoucement#if all you wanna do is repeat yourslef#look we KNOW youre working on finances and cant make promises about the eggs#but we've been asking about the merch money and being transparant about that wont hurt legally#unless you plan about telling us one thing to please us and doing another once we bought them#we KNOW some people might use every thing to harm the project#we ask if you or your team are actually talking to the people concerned#we KNOW you dont want leaks#we ask to be sure you treat the people who dedicated so much to your dream project as allies and not as enemies#i trusted q at first#but if he just wants to repeat homself and not acknowledge anything then i cant trust him no more#qsmp you have been a winderful adventure but it stops here for me
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seeing posts that are like you shouldnt use pds dont identify with your illness or you will always be ill </3 instead use cptsd<3 like i think you are just too stupid to be talking about this
#my bestie and others were tagging so i want to as well like people dont bother learning about people who have been Assigned avpd at all#ive seen people who post a lot and at length on the topic of community retiring terms dismiss avpd as like gad and stuff#and i could write a lot about it but ill just say how manageable symptom havers look when a real lunatic comes at them
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rant but im a bit scared im going to get attacked
#so im hiding in the tags and book tok is the subject today#psa: skip past the fourth wing rant to see what im actually talking about#so. the abomination that is FOURTH WING#(my review on it was the longest i have ever written lmfao)#dont get me wrong there are good parts to the book!#most of them are plagiarised from like at least 10 other books tho#the one good thing is the dragon worldbuilding (if u could call it that) but honestly. that's probably plagiarised from smt idk#the pacing is horrible#and yes it was weirdly gripping but in the way you are gripped by a nightmare when u cant get yourself to wake up#anyways i havent even got onto the characters yet. fmc has no personality and mmc is tall and dark and brooding#supposedly enemies to lovers and it should have been given unsolved family business but nope they just want to shag UGH#anyways this was triggered by me talking to my friend's friend who is currently reading it and i was honestly gobsmacked#do book tok readers have no critical thinking (not generalisation im just mad)#like she said six of crows was worse than fourth wing#and it just pissed me off because people just read bad literature from book tok just for the smut when there is GOOD SMUT FOR FREE#FANFIC EXISTS BUT THE STIGMA IS TOO MUCH#and so there are authors who are writing terrible plagiarised shit and profiting off it#and then there are the valiant fanfic writers#like pls im so mad rn especially bc there are so many problems w book tok books (gender roles + pick me stuff etc etc)#one thing that really bothers me is the willingness to just ignore how toxic mmcs are just because they're hot or whatever#it's so problematic (also ppl excusing irl people just bc they're funny)#im so angry because book tok (aside from specific few books) is just a den of plagiarism and capitalism#and im also mad because when did the actual appreciation of good writing (not even literature) just GOOD writing die#and it died because of all things people want to read smut like you can have both and free from fanfic#note that this is not a personal attack this is more of a frustration rant and i do not mean to point fingers at all book tok readers#i just want to highlight the problems w it (mainly plagiarism and excusing weird things and normalising other stuff)#space boo screams into the void#book tok#literature#fanfiction
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Are yyou team green or black? And why?
team green, though I'm not in support of every green character (namely Otto though my opinion of him is complicated. I also have opinions on Aegon and his characterization that makes it even more complicated)
[I have only read bits and pieces of the book, so my opinion is based almost solely on the show. keep this in mind]
I'm team green for 3 big reasons. they're more complex, thought not perfect by any means, more morally "right", and are simply more my vibe when it comes to characters. now this is very simplified and not at all nuanced, so stick with me for a minute.
Firstly, they're more complex. the greens have very deep, detailed, and nuanced lives and stories that lead to them being very complex characters that can't be put into a box. Alicent was a child bride who had lost her mother young became a mother young and suffered at the hands of power and men all her life. her children were affected by this and the world they were forced to grow up in throughout their lives. even individually her kids are drastically different; aegon the child who was forced into a life he did not want and suffered due to his father neglect and mother pain. Helaena who was never understood and grew up treated like an oddity. Aemond who was never seen to his full potential, always ignored or looked over, angry throughout his life. each of them has strengths and weaknesses, flaws and benefits, they're imperfect but never completely horrid. they're also never simplified (not entirely, even when the plot and writers seek to simplify them) to the point that they put on a moral pedestal or made straight evil (i'd even argue that the attempts of the writer to oversimplify them as evil and in the wrong makes them 10x more fascinating). I find TB characters tended to miss the mark on that, always put in the moral light, not even allowed a moment to reflect on their actions, lives, or positions in any nuanced or meaningful way, so they always just feel dull. they're also out on a moral highground that they can never be budged from, which makes them harder to like and honestly, really boring. they get away with everything instead of being emotionally and morally nuanced.
secondly, they're more morally "right". I will never say that any of the greens are perfect, they are far from it (with the exception of Helaena and her kids, who have done literally nothing to anyone, but I digress). what I will say, 9/10 times there is some level of reasoning that has some level of reasoning. Alicent always tries to do whats best for everyone, all throughout the series she tried to do best by the court, the king, her children, the realm, and Rhaenyra. did she always succeed? no, but she always tried and her mistakes were almost always honest. I will say she held resentment towards Rhaenya, but honestly, I can't blame her. Rhaenyra's lies and behavior hurt Alicent over and over again so for her to be angry is expected.when it came to succession, Alicent backed Rhaenyra until it was made clear she and Daemon would be a threat to her children's lives and even than she held mercy for Rhaenyra. Aegon's drinking can be blamed on the abuse and neglect he suffered at Viserys, Otto, and Alicent's (though the abuse and neglect from his mother is insanely different and nuanced. she perpetuated her pain onto him because she couldn't heal herself. so I hesitate to call it abuse, cause its so much more complicated than that) hands. though nothing will justify his rape of Dyana, I personally think it was a bad add in on the writers part, and leave it at that. Aemonds rage after years of being ignored doesn't entirely justify what he did to luke, but he had reason for his cruelty after years of Luke (and jace tbh) being cruel just because they could. TB characters tend to do terrible things in response to either A. nothing B. their own terrible things. Daemon kills who he wants when he feels like it, even for stating facts. Rhaneyra will lie and hurt those around her to protect her bastard children. both of them conspire to protect themselves and allow themselves to be wed, really just cause. while there are times they have their reasons, its a lot less of the time, and typically the backing to their actions, is they were trying to unbury themselves from within their own graves. (to preface, I don't care about rhaenyra sleeping around, it doesn't bother me, but its the fact that she will hurt everyone around her to protect her lies, allowing a child to be maimed and people to be murdered)
thirdly, they're my vibe. I like morally complex character, who are, to be frank, pathetic. I like characters with complex trauma's and issues, who aren't perfect people but its not entirely their fault. I would much rather watch a whole show about alicent, a child bride who tries so hard to be a good wife, queen, and mother while not prepared for any such role. Aegon who is a boy with severe mommy and daddy issues, a drinking problem, a flawed past, and constantly wet eyes. Helaena an ignored girl who has suffered for no better reason then her family. and Aemond, a boy who was tormented, bullied, maimed, and made stronger by it at the cost of his compassion and emotional stability - over a nepo baby who was coddled by her father, her murderous husband with a knack for unneeded violence, and her similarly coddled children (the show boiled them down to this, in my opinion). one is simply more up my alley than the other. I want character that need to be dissected, who have suffered, who hurt me to look at.
also, team black created almost all of their own problems. seeing as the main source of contention had to do with Rhaenyra's kids being bastards, which was Rhaenyra's problem, which she caused, and kept digging and digging that grave (faking Laenors death just so she could marry daemon, turning the blame on aemond when luke maimed him furthering the divide amongst the house, trying to wed Helaena to Jace putting her in danger, trying to take the driftmark throne and killing Vaemond for a claim her sons did not have, etc,) till viserys's death, earns her a lot less pity from me. at the end of the day, her being a woman was only a needle in a haystack worth of problems she caused herself that hurt her claim. if she had just strived to create to connection with ancient and her kids, and didn't make herself look like a threat to everyone who lessened her claim (which alicents kids would be the first people to be taken out) alicent would have backed like she had all season and there would have been no war, maybe conflict, but no war.
theres also the effect of the fans on my opinion. I have faced more cruelty, terrible media analysis, and outright ableism/misogny/(blood and sexual based) purist ideology/etc. from the TB fans then I have ever witness by TG fans. TB fans have ruined almost all of the TB characters for me in more ways than I can count, so I will say I am very biased.
thats why I'm team green. as a whole they are simply more appealing, their stories are more interesting, demand more attention to detail and emotional understanding, and from my point of view were the "right" side to be on in the war (the war was wrong on both sides, but my chips lie in the favour of the greens).
#THESE ARE ALL MY OPINIONS IF YOU DONT LIKE IT IGNORE THIS POST. MY ACCOUNT. MY EXISTENCE AS A WHOLE.#BETTER YET. IF YOU REALLY DONT LIKE MY OPINION. BLOCK ME.#I dont want drama. so dont bother me if you disagree#and to clarify discourse and conversation (even if we disagree) =/= arguing. name calling. harassment#if you can be constructive and respectful even while disagreeing your fine to stay#(the fact I have to clarify this in this fandom is embarrassing...)#defintly could have gone more in depth and better explained some things#but I'm tired and know if I don't answer this now I won't ever cause I'm a chronic procrastinator#so this is the best y'all are getting#the pity I have for all of them compared to any of the TB fans is honest to god my entire reasoning#but so many people don't understand them at all so I can't just say that#and I say this as someone who on my first watch was swayed by the intentional moral framing to hate the Greens and support the Blacks#with my whole chest. but I've grown and reflected and rewatched the show and realized I was wrong.#so I've been on both sides of the argument#I know what I'm taking about#pro team green#pro alicent hightower#I'm damn near anti TB/Rhaenyra#but I say lukewarm feelings on them to be more accurate#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targeryan#luke velaryon#jace velaryon#not tagging TB I like my life and sanity#they're so mean all the time and in the last week I've been harassed by them multiple times
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regarding posting extra fic content that is not fic, but being worried about notifications... i have no idea how user subscriptions for pseuds work on AO3, but would it be a viable option to post those extra things under a pseud and then you can make it a related work to the fic in question?
it doesn't work! :( anyone who's subscribed to my main 'snickerdoodlles' username will get notifications for everything i post on AO3 that isn't anonymous because the pseuds still tie back to it. which is actually really convenient for me in every other case, but ajkfdjh.
right now i'm mostly considering building up a queue of tumblr posts that i'd want to copy over to AO3, then making a specific story post that's in my anon collection as i move stuff over. i can link all the story stuff together in the fics themselves, then take them out of the anon collection after i've finished uploading everything so that it's just one email notification at the end. my only hesitation rn is that moving a bunch of stuff over sounds very boring and i'm procrastinating it lol, but that's the only method i can think of atm that won't drive me completely nuts? i also don't really want anyone getting AO3 notifications from me to become associated with "not fic" either oof, i will cry if that happens 😂
#its mostly random extras i have for gone fishing series that i want to include too orz#like the long fic headcanon posts and some random snippets that are in the universe but not going to be full fics#i have the usernames and outtakes story already but i dont want to keep disappointing people with update emails that arent story updates#but im also eyeing various snippets because i'd like them to be easier to read/find but i dont want to clog up my ao3 with too many shorts#and im not sure how a bunch of notifications for them will go down >.<#on one hand i am DETERMINED not to fret over AO3 notifications because!! people who subscribed subscribed for a reason!!#logic says they want the notifications!!#but while im crawling towards being in a better brain space anxiety says i am So Annoying and need to cut down on how much i bother people#and there's a part of me that feels squiggly posting stuff that was always meant to be little snippets and vignettes instead of full storie#hjgjhgfjhfgjhfg
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I know this probably wasn't intended badly or as a critique but
Do not comment on the way i draw Ghoul's bodies.
They're my personal headcanons and I don't care if you don't think a swimmer and touring musician would have a muscular build.
You don't like it? Draw them yourself.
I have designed these ghouls with my own personal headcanons and considerations of their back stories and real life inspirations.
I do not want to see tags in my art saying "he's too soft :(" "they're so buff :(" "why is she hour glass shaped?"
Especially when it's someone like cumulus who i have drawn several times before out of uniform and she is clearly not naturally "hour glass shaped" but ffs SHAPE WEAR EXISTS, especially if it's a uniform you wear to perform?!! She's gonna wanna have back and bust support!!! I have publicly headcanoned that ghouls wear corsetry for support!! I'm not just drawing her skinnier i am just considering other fucking variables!!!
Why are rain, swiss and mountain more physically built??? Because rain is a swimmer and i have used references of Olympic medalist swimmers to use as reference for how i wanted to draw him as well as looked at surfer body types, most of which were skinnier but toned!!! So that's why?? Mountain bc he's in the fucking garden doing sowing and planting work and playing the fucking drums, that's some fucking heavy ass equipment he's helping the band move and he does it seamlessly!!! Swiss also??? He's a multi, he's tall too, he's gotta be strong to help with everything they need, plus you think that he's gonna be bending ghouls over if he were so skinny??? Probably not!!
Another petty one. Consider more variables?? Aka working out releases lactic acid, and the surge of fluids causes your muscle cells to swell up, especially if you're drinking something like a protein drink without a carb/fat filled breakfast.
Do you think a DEMONIC HUMANOID CREATURE, that wakes up at dawn to have a protein shake AND GO SWIMMING AND SURFING is not??? Gonna look??? Buff????
Like??? Sorry if this rant sounds petty but I'm genuinely tired of dealing with people commenting on my own personal original designs.
I have never claimed to be drawing the people on stage. I am drawing MY OWN CHARACTERS, based on the real thing.
Don't just comment on people's characters or art if it's not something they can fix within 3 strokes of their pen.
#raven rants#i am just tired#i thought we were over this Tumblr#if you dont like how i draw my ghouls then just don't reblog??#and if you are curious as to why i draw them like that?? JUST ASK!!#I usually try to be the nicest i can be to people who are respectful and nice to me#if you shoot me a quick dm saying “hey! i saw this post i was wondering why he's so buff!”#I'll just reply!!! “thank you! i draw hom like that because xyz”#i hate having to make callout posts like these even if they're general but IT BOTHERS ME#to see comments like that in my art!!! bc ??? its my art??? i get to draw WHATEVER I WANT!!!#and i don't owe ANYONE AN EXPLANATION
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