#so often I see kevin written as a pushover

[lucky-slice]

Kevin day coward this, kevin day coward that .... do we not remember the time he was ready to straight up choke neil out. Cause I think about the fact Kevin canonically threw neil against a wall every. damn. day

[antihero-writings]

Depth Perception (Ao3 | FF.net)

Fandom: Pandora Hearts

Summary: How did Reim get his glasses? || Two of the Rainsworth boys are having trouble seeing properly. One needs a physical fix, and the other may need something a bit deeper.

Notes: This was written for @phmonth2021, Rainsworth Trio Day 4 prompt: Glasses.

This was a bit short/fast, so I think I might flesh it out a bit later? But I really liked this idea and definitely thought it was worth posting what I had!! I hope you guys like it too!!

If you liked this fic, please consider commenting!! You have no idea how much your comments mean to me. They make my entire week, and motivate me to keep writing stories like this!!

*

Rufus Barma hadn’t been entirely convinced that taking on such a young servant would be productive. He was more than half sure he would get regularly distracted, and not do his job properly overall.

He was surprised to find that despite his young age, Reim had little to no interest in silly games. The boy was astute, he was respectful, and in fact his diligence was unmatched even in his adult servants. He always did all the work asked of him, no matter how much or how trivial. He was a model servant, and more than qualified.

The only problem…was that he couldn’t see.

Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. He could see. He just couldn’t see well. Rufus all too often found him with his nose pressed against the paper as he worked. He ran into things in the hallway, and apologized profusely to vases. But whenever Rufus brought it up, Reim told him it wasn’t a problem.

Sharon realized this fact even faster than Rufus had—(a fact that, had he known, he would have found rather shocking). Even within their first meeting she could tell by the way he squinted and clumsily bumbled about that he was in dire need of a pair of glasses.

Surmising that the Duke was may be unaware of the situation, she endeavored to enlighten him. Her grandmother was heading over to the Barma Dukedom soon and suggested she come with her.

She hadn’t been over to the Barma Dukedom very often, despite her grandmother’s insistence that he really was a big pushover, standing in front of him she was rather intimidated.

“Duke Barma-sama I mean no disrespect, but I have come to make a request of you.” She said with her hands folded over her dress, her eyes down, and her grandmother’s comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Speak, Child.”

“Well…I just wanted to ask…” She wrung her hands. “I wanted to ask if you could…” She dropped her hands to her sides and said confidently, and a little too loudly, “Please get Reim glasses!”

Rufus blinked, taken aback.

“He stumbles around all the time, and runs into things an awful lot! One of these days he’s going to hurt himself! He really needs glasses! I know it’s not my place, but I’ve come to request that you please buy him a nice pair!”

Rufus’ eyes flicked to Sheryl, then he turned around to hide his smile. He silently walked over to one of the shelves behind him, pulling down something nestled between the books. He handed it to her.

It was a sort of oval shaped case. Trying to curb her fear that it might explode, she slid it open to find a pair of shiny gold-rimmed glasses.

Her expression broke into a grin, and when she looked up at Duke Barma, he was smiling too.

“Shall we present these to him together?”

She gave a nod beaming.

When Reim saw Duke Barma, Sharon, and Duchess Rainsworth walking down the hall towards him together, his brain didn’t delay in predicting all the terrifying scenes that might just play out in a moment, and tried to delay the self-destruct sequence that began to count down.

“Reim, young Sharon and I have a gift for you.”

Sharon held out the case with both hands.

Reim glanced from the two smiling imps, taking the item very slowly and cautiously, wondering not if it was going to explode, but just how it was going to explode, and how much damage he was going to have to clean up.

When he opened it his expression broke into to surprise.

With wide eyes, he flicked his gaze from his master to his friend, then to the Duchess.

“I can’t accept this.” He spoke flatly.

Rufus’ traded his smile for a furrowed brow. “Art thou refusing a gift from thy master?”

He bristled. “No! No! It’s just—this is too much, Rufus-sama!”

Rufus put a hand on his shoulder. “I do not consider it much, compared with the price of all the heirlooms thou hath broken.”

Reim froze, eyes wide.

“Many apologies, Rufus-sama!” His nose almost touched the ground as he bowed. “I will accept this most gracious gift with honors!”

Rufus leaned down and spoke to Sharon behind his hand. “Thou wouldst do well to use such methods with him the future.”

Sharon took a step forward. “Why don’t you put them on, Reim-san?”

Picking them up as if they were a valuable and ancient artifact, he ticked up the two sides, and slid them over his ears, looking like he’d been doing so his whole life.

He looked around at them all, finding that there was a lot more detail to their faces than he was generally privy to.

“I think they suit you perfectly, Reim-san.” Sharon beamed.

*****

It was those glasses. It took Kevin a while to realize. It was those glasses he hated.

He could rarely tell what was behind them, the light reflecting off them obscuring any expression within he young boy.

Reim hated him. He knew it. He must. He intuition was usually pretty good, and, no, he didn’t feel any malice off of him, but he was sure that behind his back the boy whispered malicious things, and gossiped with the rest of them.

It was those glasses that told him that. He was always looking at him with that indecipherable glass gaze, but Kevin was unsure he really saw him at all.

Kevin was just as creepy as they said, of course. It only made sense the children would be all that much more afraid and judgmental. It wasn’t their fault a murderer had taken up abode into their home.

…That didn’t make it any easier for Kevin to take.

He could handle the gossip of the adults. That was high society, after all. Such whispers followed him long before he arrived at the Rainsworth manor. But that of children…

—(“Kevin…Please don’t leave.”)—

That was a bit more difficult to take.

He longed to break them. To throw them to the floor, just to see something real in his eyes. To confirm his fears and assumptions.

And one day…the thread snapped.

“Shut up! Don’t pay me any mind….Don’t come near me… Don’t so much as look at me!”

The glasses hit the floor.

But the look in the boy’s eyes…it wasn’t one of malice or judgment. No anger or annoyance at his actions. Not even fear. It was one of simple surprise, wondering, and…compassion, even?

Was it possible that when he told him to stop…he was truly looking out for his well-being? That there wasn’t some ulterior motive? That Kevin’s intuition about the boy being a pure and un-violent soul was right?

When Shelly picked up those glasses, gently replaced them on the boy’s face, kind words mixed with reprimand for Kevin…he decided it might not be remiss to give the boy a chance. To try and meet the golden eyes behind those glasses, and realize that they may not mask something darker after all.

The next time he stumbled against the wall, and wanted nothing more than to shove Reim’s helping hand away, he decided to give in, and let him help him.

As Kevin leaned against him, the boy smiled. “It’s alright. I know what it’s like not to be able to see very well.”

After that, he learned to trust his intuition, not his eye.

[this-idiots-left-eye]

Depth Perception 

Fandom: Pandora Hearts

Summary: How did Reim get his glasses? || Two of the Rainsworth boys are having trouble seeing properly. One needs a physical fix, and the other may need something a bit deeper.

Notes: This was written for @phmonth2021, Rainsworth Trio Day 4 prompt: Glasses.

This was a bit short/fast, so I think I might flesh it out a bit later? But I really liked this idea and definitely thought it was worth posting what I had!! I hope you guys like it too!!

I'll put links to this fic on Ao3 and FF.net in a reblog!

Also, fyi, I've started a Pandora Hearts series on my Ao3 so that those who only want to follow me for ph can do so!! So if you like my ph fics, please consider following it!! I post for ph more than any other fandom!!

If you liked this fic, please consider commenting!! You have no idea how much your comments mean to me. They make my entire week, and motivate me to keep writing stories like this!!

Rufus Barma hadn’t been entirely convinced that taking on such a young servant would be productive. He was more than half sure he would get regularly distracted, and not do his job properly overall.

He was surprised to find that despite his young age, Reim had little to no interest in silly games. The boy was astute, he was respectful, and in fact his diligence was unmatched even in his adult servants. He always did all the work asked of him, no matter how much or how trivial. He was a model servant, and more than qualified.

The only problem…was that he couldn’t see.

Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. He could see. He just couldn’t see well. Rufus all too often found him with his nose pressed against the paper as he worked. He ran into things in the hallway, and apologized profusely to vases. But whenever Rufus brought it up, Reim told him it wasn’t a problem.

Sharon realized this fact even faster than Rufus had—(a fact that, had he known, he would have found rather shocking). Even within their first meeting she could tell by the way he squinted and clumsily bumbled about that he was in dire need of a pair of glasses.

Surmising that the Duke was may be unaware of the situation, she endeavored to enlighten him. Her grandmother was heading over to the Barma Dukedom soon and suggested she come with her.

She hadn’t been over to the Barma Dukedom very often, despite her grandmother’s insistence that he really was a big pushover, standing in front of him she was rather intimidated.

“Duke Barma-sama I mean no disrespect, but I have come to make a request of you.” She said with her hands folded over her dress, her eyes down, and her grandmother’s comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Speak, Child.”

“Well…I just wanted to ask…” She wrung her hands. “I wanted to ask if you could…” She dropped her hands to her sides and said confidently, and a little too loudly, “Please get Reim glasses!”

Rufus blinked, taken aback.

“He stumbles around all the time, and runs into things an awful lot! One of these days he’s going to hurt himself! He really needs glasses! I know it’s not my place, but I’ve come to request that you please buy him a nice pair!”

Rufus’ eyes flicked to Sheryl, then he turned around to hide his smile. He silently walked over to one of the shelves behind him, pulling down something nestled between the books. He handed it to her.

It was a sort of oval shaped case. Trying to curb her fear that it might explode, she slid it open to find a pair of shiny gold-rimmed glasses.

Her expression broke into a grin, and when she looked up at Duke Barma, he was smiling too.

“Shall we present these to him together?”

She gave a nod beaming.

When Reim saw Duke Barma, Sharon, and Duchess Rainsworth walking down the hall towards him together, his brain didn’t delay in predicting all the terrifying scenes that might just play out in a moment, and tried to delay the self-destruct sequence that began to count down.

“Reim, young Sharon and I have a gift for you.”

Sharon held out the case with both hands.

Reim glanced from the two smiling imps, taking the item very slowly and cautiously, wondering not if it was going to explode, but just how it was going to explode, and how much damage he was going to have to clean up.

When he opened it his expression broke into to surprise.

With wide eyes, he flicked his gaze from his master to his friend, then to the Duchess.

“I can’t accept this.” He spoke flatly.

Rufus’ traded his smile for a furrowed brow. “Art thou refusing a gift from thy master?”

He bristled. “No! No! It’s just—this is too much, Rufus-sama!”

Rufus put a hand on his shoulder. “I do not consider it much, compared with the price of all the heirlooms thou hath broken.”

Reim froze, eyes wide.

“Many apologies, Rufus-sama!” His nose almost touched the ground as he bowed. “I will accept this most gracious gift with honors!”

Rufus leaned down and spoke to Sharon behind his hand. “Thou wouldst do well to use such methods with him the future.”

Sharon took a step forward. “Why don’t you put them on, Reim-san?”

Picking them up as if they were a valuable and ancient artifact, he ticked up the two sides, and slid them over his ears, looking like he’d been doing so his whole life.

He looked around at them all, finding that there was a lot more detail to their faces than he was generally privy to.

“I think they suit you perfectly, Reim-san.” Sharon beamed.

******

It was those glasses. It took Kevin a while to realize. It was those glasses he hated.

He could rarely tell what was behind them, the light reflecting off them obscuring any expression within the young boy.

Reim hated him. He knew it. He must. He intuition was usually pretty good, and, no, he didn’t feel any malice off of him, but he was sure that behind his back the boy whispered malicious things, and gossiped with the rest of them.

It was those glasses that told him that. He was always looking at him with that indecipherable glass gaze, but Kevin was unsure he really saw him at all.

Kevin was just as creepy as they said, of course. It only made sense the children would be all that much more afraid and judgmental. It wasn’t their fault a murderer had taken up abode into their home.

…That didn’t make it any easier for Kevin to take.

He could handle the gossip of the adults. That was high society, after all. Such whispers followed him long before he arrived at the Rainsworth manor. But that of children…

—(“Kevin…Please don’t leave.”)—

That was a bit more difficult to take.

He longed to break them. To throw them to the floor, just to see something real in his eyes. To confirm his fears and assumptions.

And one day…the thread snapped.

“Shut up! Don’t pay me any mind….Don’t come near me… Don’t so much as look at me!”

The glasses hit the floor.

But the look in the boy’s eyes…it wasn’t one of malice or judgment. No anger or annoyance at his actions. Not even fear. It was one of simple surprise, wondering, and…compassion, even?

Was it possible that when he told him to stop…he was truly looking out for his well-being? That there wasn’t some ulterior motive? That Kevin’s intuition about the boy being a pure and un-violent soul was right?

When Shelly picked up those glasses, gently replaced them on the boy’s face, kind words mixed with reprimand for Kevin…he decided it might not be remiss to give the boy a chance. To try and meet the golden eyes behind those glasses, and realize that they may not mask something darker after all.

The next time he stumbled against the wall, and wanted nothing more than to shove Reim’s helping hand away, he decided to give in, and let him help him.

As Kevin leaned against him, the boy smiled. “It’s alright. I know what it’s like not to be able to see very well.”

After that, he learned to trust his intuition, not his eye.

[kar3npage]

Sewing Scissors and Throwing Knives

Chapter 3 is now up! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading along! I will be posting a new chapter every Monday:)

If you want to read along from the beginning, you can check it out on ao3 here

Recap from last chapter:  Neil calls Kevin and accepts his offer, Neil meets (most of) the team, Kevin and Nicky decide that Neil needs a new wardrobe.

His fingers are itching for a cigarette. It’s not an addiction, since Neil doesn’t actually smoke the things, but he’s craving a tether. A comforting scent, something to ground him. It’s only an hour into his second day at the atelier and he’s already thoroughly tired of Kevin and the constant noise that permeates the floor. It’s getting annoying having to bite back the snarky comments and make everyone think he’s a pushover. But being a pushover will keep him alive, so he’ll make do. Matt and Nicky greeted Neil with the same level of enthusiasm as they had the day before, and he got a few friendly nods as the building started to fill. Fortunately being tied to Kevin made most people keep their distance. Unfortunately, being tied to Kevin meant that Andrew popped up constantly. Neil can feel his eyes tracking him even when he’s pretty sure that he isn’t even in the same area as them. “No, I need it by Thursday at the latest. I was promised it by Wednesday!” Kevin is saying into the phone in that particularly bossy voice of his. “No, you don’t understand. You’ve heard of Alli Rey, correct? Yes, everyone has. If we can’t get that shipment in by Thursday, we will no longer be working with your company.” Kevin continues in that vein, threatening to pull out of whatever deal they have. As far as Neil understands, the shipment is holding a fabric that they ‘desperately’ need for the showstopper in the quickly approaching show. Neil is a far ways away from his times running. He’s made little things out of the strangest material, purely out of necessity. He barely waits for Kevin to put down the phone before speaking to make sure that he can get a word in before Kevin starts. “Why don’t you just get a different fabric for it?” Kevin has that expression on that says that he can’t believe that he’s even wasting a second of his day for Neil. “It would never get here in time, even if we did somehow manage to find something as perfect as this.” “Okay, then use something you already have.” Neil thinks to the entire wall of bolts of fabric in every colour that sits in the cutting room. Kevins face is slowly going red. “You--no, fuck’s sake. Neil, no.” “Why not?” “Because this is the showstopper. This is going to be ending the show. You cannot leave the customers on a blah note, it has to be perfect. And the only way that’s going to happen is if it’s made out of a silk/rayon velvet that’s been hand dyed with a unique method in Amsterdam.” “Maybe your showstopper isn’t as good as you think it is if it’s going to fail just because you used a different nice fabric.” “He has a point,” a dry voice startles Neil and he whips around to face the door. Andrew stands there, wearing a very similar all black outfit to what he wore yesterday. Neil considers complaining that he has to change his look when Andrew wears the same thing every day. He keeps his mouth shut for once. Kevin splutters something from his spot behind the desk, face going a mottled purple. “Get out,” Andrew says to Neil. He hesitates, glancing at Kevin to argue. When he doesn’t, Neil makes sure to leave Andrew space as he walks past him. He closes the door behind him and pauses in the hallway to listen. The bond between Andrew and Kevin has already been mentioned countless times in the office, and Neil has read many articles about it in various gossip magazines. No matter what is written or said, no one can explain exactly why Andrew lets Kevin tag along. Neil can just barely hear Andrew through the door. “The Moriyama’s aren’t going to care which fabric the last dress is made out of as long as it makes them money. And Riko fuck-face can’t do anything without his uncles approval. Relax.” A muffled groan can be heard down the hallway. Neil leans in a bit closer to hear Kevin’s answer. His words are frantic and fast, too fast for Neil to be able to catch on. Andrew’s answer is a repeat of his earlier words. He doesn’t stay outside for much longer after that. Of course Neil had been keeping an eye on the Moriyamas to ensure that he would be able to avoid them, but he was under the impression that Kevin had split from Riko after the accident. Neil Josten was well and truly fucked.

He still had nightmares about the few weeks that he was stuck in the Nest, nightmares of the oppressive atmosphere, the pain and humiliation, the complete and utter exhaustion. It had taken him almost a month to stop losing time after the 16 hour days. He was still claustrophobic from the experience.

To make it even worse, he knows that his father works for the Moriyama's. He bitterly wonders whether he’ll even live to see the show that he is currently helping them prepare for. The smart thing would be to leave and get a new identity. Maybe check out Italy, he’d been learning Italian in his spare time while he was working as a janitor. Of course, just because that's the smart thing doesn’t mean it’s the route that he wants to choose.

The problem is the last time that Neil had felt so strongly about his surroundings was when he was in the fashion program in school. The working hum of industrials, the quiet bustle of seamstresses and cutters going about their work, the satisfying sound of sharp scissors cutting through silk. The atmosphere at Alli Rey was intoxicating and calming all at once. Neil had walked through the cutting room earlier and spent almost 20 minutes just looking at the shelves of bolts of fabric that fills one wall. He had almost filled his sketchbook last night with new ideas. He hadn’t felt this inspired by anything for years, and now that he had spent a few days as a part of the magic he wasn’t sure that he could tear himself away so soon. If he could just make it until the next fashion show, the one that Kevin wanted him to help design, then he could die in peace. That way he could have made a mark, albeit a small one. That way he could get rid of a few of his regrets in life.

Three days later and Neil is as in love with the volatile environment as he was when he decided that he would be willing to die for it. The craziness with the customer is apparently over, so Neil was finally able to meet Dan. She is a no-nonsense, hard working woman with a tight control over her team. She had Neil’s respect the minute he saw her wrangle Seth into some semblance of control, and he had no trouble saying that he trusted her completely to get everything finished. Seth is another employee that he has, unfortunately, gotten to know since the customer issues have been dealt with. He had immediately written Neil off, and he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder for any designer as long as it wasn’t Allison. Neil had met Allison a few times so far, and each time she had a different reaction to Seth being there. Their strange relationship didn’t make anyone else nearly as uncomfortable as it did Neil. “I think it’s time that you start working late like everyone else does,” Kevin announces as Neil walks into the office that he’s been ‘shadowing’ Kevin in so far. “I do work late with everyone else,” Neil says. Annoyance crosses Kevin’s face. “No, you leave with Andrew and Nicky everyday.” “So do you.” “I leave for dinner with them, but I come back after.” Neil has known that Kevin was obsessive about his work right from the get go, but he had no idea to what extent. He knows for a fact that Matt and Dan leave around the time that he does, since they keep inviting him out for drinks, and they have important roles in the company as well. Neil tries to muster up some irritation with Kevin about the demand, but all he feels is some excitement about spending more time in the studios. So far he’s just gone home to sketch, obsessively check the locks in his hotel room, and eventually fall into a restless sleep. Coming back in to help with the quickly coming up Resort show is infinitely better than anything else that Neil could be doing in his evenings. “Alright,” he tells Kevin. Kevin gives him one quick nod of approval. “Andrew will pick you up tonight at 9. Eat before then.”

As promised, Andrew’s fancy vehicle is waiting outside the hotel for Neil at exactly 9 o’clock. Kevin is waiting in the passenger seat, and neither of the men are currently speaking to one another. Kevin immediately launches into a brainstorming session with Neil when he climbs in the backseat, and as much as he is interested in what Kevin has to say, his eyes keep wandering to look at Andrew in the drivers seat. So far what he’s seen of Andrew makes him think that he’s apathetic about the whole thing. He’s always the calm in the storm when he walks through the atelier during the day (although that isn’t often. Mostly he’s holed up in the office that Neil so far hasn’t been in with a woman with rainbow dyed hair whom he hasn’t met), and whenever Kevin tries to talk with him about upcoming collections he answers with a bored glare. Neil’s fascinated with this person who obviously has incredible talent, yet doesn’t care about it. He wasn’t sure what to expect of their late night work, but it’s pretty similar to the work that they’ve been doing during the day so far. The only difference is that Kevin isn’t able to phone any of their suppliers, so he has more of the razor focus that Neil remembers from his Exy days. They’re in the beautiful, streamlined office staring at the wall behind Kevin's desk. Andrew lies on the couch near the window with a book, one that Neil hasn’t heard of before. The pages are dog eared and worn, yet the avid way Andrew focuses on the book makes it look like he’s never read it before. The wall has been transforming quickly while Neil has been here. For the most part he’s been keeping his opinions to himself (which has been more difficult than he thought it would be) since his real job will start with the next collection, but he hasn’t been able to help himself with a few of the looks. They’re planning the show, playing around with the order that the ensembles come out on the runway and which garments will be put together. Most of the wall has been taken over by the photos of each look on possible models (that will need to be decided as well, eventually). Each look has a number on it, though the numbers keep getting scratched out and changed. The only one that hasn’t changed is the showstopper, which will be going last. “I just still don’t understand what makes that one the showstopper,” Neil tells Kevin before he can control himself. He stiffens and waits for Kevin to have a conniption, or maybe a panic attack. Neil had thought that Andrew wasn’t paying attention to them, but a small huff tells him that he has. Kevin surprises all of them by looking thoughtful. It takes him a while to respond and he inspects the wall in the meantime. “I’m not really sure, actually. I had just decided in the beginning that it would be and it never occurred to me that it might not.” “Okay.” Neil says, but he’s been forgotten. A familiar frenzied look is in Kevin's eye now that Neil planted the idea, and he’s scrambling around the wall moving photos around. The rest of the evening is spent in near silence, and Neil finds that he enjoys his time with Kevin and Andrew more than he ever thought he would. He admires Kevin, and has for a long time. Seeing him working first hand isn’t always that impressive, but when he gets into this centered head space Neil can see why he’s gotten so far in the industry so quickly. Andrew is a different story. Where Kevin is an easy book to read, Neil just can’t grasp anything about Andrew. Everything he does surprises Neil. It’s unsettling.

So far Neil has managed to avoid Nicky and Kevin’s plans for getting him new clothes. By the end of the week he had quietly hoped that they had forgotten about it in the chaos of show prep. Neil Josten has never been that lucky. Nicky jumps him during lunch on Friday with far too much joy for such a task. “You’re going to love Abby, she’s great. We always go to the Garment District store just for her for the new recruits.” “We’re going to an Alli Rey store?” Neil has no idea what to expect from his day, but there’s a tight ball of dread in his stomach that’s threatening to swallow him. He counts to ten in French, and then German in the hopes that the anxiety will lessen. “Yep! Everyone tries to wear as much from the brand as possible for marketing. It was my idea,” Nicky preens as he pushes Neil out of the building. It’s just the two of them for once, something that hasn’t happened since he arrived. Neil makes a vague noise of approval. They get into Andrews car, which Neil can’t imagine the conversation that got the approval for Nicky to drive. Nicky talks nonstop the entire time they’re in the vehicle, which Neil is strangely grateful for. The empty chatter is enough to quell some of the nausea that popped up when he realized that he would need to get measured today, which also meant that it was pretty likely that he would have to take off his shirt. Unfortunately, he has already tried everything that he could think of to get out of this when Kevin first brought it up and he has no ideas left. All he knows is that Nicky absolutely can not be in the room while he gets his measurements done.