#so now they’re my little barbie dolls and if i want them to be married they’re married | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mistressemmedi · 3 years

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Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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passivenovember · 3 years

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Thinking about Steve’s glamorous southern Grandmother teaching him haircare and the ways of men.

Louisiana Girl.

On wispy Saturday afternoons she sat under the hooded dryer in a world made of candy.

Bubblegum walls upon which pastel images of women in shiny blue makeup oversaw the hustle and bustle of women in Eden. Magazines open in their laps, gum smacking between cherry red lips, talking a mile a minute about the intricacies of life.

Husbands and kids away at college, building a world that Steve hoped he could understand someday. And, in that twangy southern drawl that he knew came from this same place his mother did; Louisiana, where women were spun of gold the color of corn fields, his grandmother shared her secrets.

She was called Boo Boo because it made her feel young, and that was the first lesson Steve learned in his life. Women should always be made to feel young and beautiful. His mother’s mother was not nanna, or grandmama, or even Cheryl, which the ladies at the beauty parlor disclosed to Steve with smiles on their bright pink faces.

She was Boo Boo because she looked like Dolly Parton and smoked Marlboro golds like Johnny Cash, and always said that Steve was her greatest love.

Everything about her was plated in gold, from her strawberry ringlets down to her heart.

Boo Boo never had much of a taste for Midwestern life.

She thought of it as some special sort of hell Steve’s mother had been exiled to when she married Patrick Harrington. A desolate wasteland far from the molasses bayou's of the promised land. Displaced from the twangy guitars of Crosby Steels and Miss Lorette Lynn.

Boo Boo never understood why Delilah couldn’t bring Steve home, to New Orleans. Why she insisted on keeping him in the world of men, content with a life devoid of magic.

Everything about Hawkins confused her. The way women wandered the streets with flat hair and unpainted nails was somethin’ else, she said, curious how they went without their armor.

That was one of Boo Boo’s best kept secrets; women need their chainmail when they go out into the world. Any southern lady worth her weight in hairspray wouldn’t be caught dead with chipped polish, and she taught Steve how to be a southern woman through and through after the first time she caught him playing in his mother’s high heels.

Boo Boo called it what it was, from the very beginning. “Got to look pretty for your man someday, baby doll.”

Steve watched as she slipped one long, golden finger nail under the hooded dryer, checking highlights trapped under waves of aluminum foam. “Daddy says I won’t ever get a husband.” Steve said, frowning. “Daddy says--”

“That man thinks Lemon Pepper chicken wings come wet, darlin’, I wouldn’t listen to a word he says.” Boo Boo smiled down at him, her long eyelashes fluttering. “Pretty little thing like you? I bet the boys will be swarming like honey bees in the springtime.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m not pretty. My knees looked like baked potatoes.”

“Potatoes?” Boo Boo declared. “I don’t think so, you just gotta grow into that figure. And you will, someday.”

Steve never found it much use to argue, never found his footing even as the stylist came and removed Boo Boo’s hair from the dryer and they migrated, as all birds do, south for the winter.

To the mint green chair in front of the big mirror where the spells were cast, boxing them into that perfect little dollhouse wonderland.

Steve watched in awe, leaning against the palm of his hand as Boo Boo grew more and more beautiful by the minute.

He wished that could be him. He hoped, someday, it would be.

Boo Boo said that being a lady lived in more than just the spray that went on in the morning.

It was easy to be beautiful. To paint yourself up like a Barbie doll and gain attention of all kinds from good and bad men alike, but it was harder to keep a level head. To do the right thing, the way God intended.

He took her word as truth. As he grew up, Steve realized a lot of girls would never be ladies and it was evident, Boo Boo said, in the way they treated each other. Always tearing the next one down to make room for themselves, providing compliments that sting and bite back, taking chunks of invaluable flesh with them as they go.

That was the mark of Cain.

The undoubtable truth that they would never grow into something worthy of respect.

When Boo Boo came to town for Christmas the year Steve fell in love for the first time, he had to know.

“How do I get girls to like me?” He asked, posted up in front of his mother’s vanity as Boo Boo went to work on his hair. “I mean. How do I get them to understand that I don’t want to hurt them, and I’m not a threat to them--”

“Why would you be a threat, baby doll?”

Steve thought of Billy.

Billy Hargrove, who made his bones turn to pudding cups and his heart burn red with fire and heat under the light of eyes so blue Steve felt like Dolly probably wrote that song about him.

I can see the light of a clear blue mornin’--

“There’s a boy.” Steve said.

Because. “There’s always a boy.” Boo Boo began mixing the bleach in her little green bowl, smiling to herself. “And these girls feel threatened by you?”

“He likes me.” Steve thought of Billy’s lips, so pink they tasted like strawberry bubblegum, pressed against his under the bleachers during fifth period. Before he could stop himself, Steve’s fingers brushed his bottom lip, remembering.

Feeling the way Billy’s teeth had pulled that sensitive flesh, almost like he wanted to--

“I think he likes me.” Steve shook his head. “And they’re mad at me. Like maybe I took Billy from them, or something.”

“As long as he wasn’t kissin’ some poor girl while he’s kissin’ you, I don’t see how they hold any claim over him.” Boo Boo said, pinning Steve’s hair down as she added highlights to his soft brown locks. Highlights the exact shade of her own. “Real women see strength and they applaud it. Tearing other women down ain’t gonna get you nowhere.”

Steve knew what she meant. He wasn’t a woman, he was old enough to know that now, but in the matter of love?

Steve might as well have been a thirteen year old girl, the way he wanted to fight for this boy. The way he’d develop that killer instinct, to take what was so clearly his. What Billy had given to him.

“If they try to tear me down first, what do I do?”

Boo Boo took a drag from the cigarette between her lips, fingers never stalling as they wrapped Steve’s head in aluminum foam. “If they’re weak enough to go after what’s already done, they aren’t worth your time, darlin’.”

Steve thought about his mother. His shining star. He thought, too, of Mary Bell. The pretty redheaded girl who sometimes held his father’s arm too long at the office.

He thought of what his mother was always saying on the phone, to other women her age, a glass of wine in one hand and a funny smelling cigarette in the other.

She’s trying to take my man. Delilah Harrington, who was just as pretty as a magnolia in may and who was tough as steel, crumbled with the weight of that sentence. She’s gonna take him.

Steve stuck his lip out in thought. “What if they try to take Billy away from me?”

Boo Boo cackled, lifting her perfect fingernails to snatch and snub the cigarette into a pretty pink ash tray. “Honey,” She said, smiling. “I don’t care if that girl is God’s gift to this Earth, she ain’t woman enough to take your man.”

#Harringrove #I have this incredibly self indulgent hc that Steve will sing that song #you ain't woman enough #at any given opportunity #and Steve's grandmother is a southern belle #you can't change my mind

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

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Love and Medicine ~ 12

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,815ish

Summary: You are still trying to cope with the fact that Steve’s married. (Read note at the end of the chapter.)

I do not own Grey’s Anatomy or Marvel.

You and Natasha eventually found your way back to your house and into your bedroom’s adjoining bathroom. Natasha was in the bathtub as you laid on the floor.

“It's not us. It's them,” you said. “Them and their stupid boy penises. They didn't tell me they had a wife. They gave absolutely no warning that they were going to break up with you.”

“It's not that Banner broke up with me,” Natasha began. “It's how he broke up with me. Like it was business. Like it was a business transition like he's the boss of me!”

“He is the boss of you.”

“And what's worse is that I care.”

"I'm gonna throw up again.” You moved so that you were leaned over the toilet bowl. "No. Wait. False alarm.”

“Look, the problem is estrogen.”

“No, the problem is tequila.”

“I used to be all business, and then he goes and gets me pregnant.”

“With the stupid boy penis.”

“Now, I'm having hormone surges. He ruined me. I'm ruined. He turned me into this fat, stupid, pregnant girl. Who cares! Estrogen!”

Having heard the commotion from your bathroom, Val, Scott, and Clint found themselves standing in the doorway.

“Penises,” you stated. “Penises Val.”

“Estrogen, Scott. Estrogen,” Nat added.

“Okay…” Scott said, looking around. “What did I miss?”

“I came home to full on vomit drama,” Val explained. “Apparently she dumped Derek and her—“ Val pointed Nat’s way. “She’s been sleeping with Banner!”

“What?”

“So you really broke up with Rogers?” Clint asked.

“I feel empty,” you responded.

“Two hours of vomiting will do that to you,” Val said with a shrug.

“You’re lucky,” Nat added. “I feel pissed off.”

~~~

Arriving in the parking garage, you could clearly see Steve waiting for you. Getting out of your car, you slammed the door as he came closer.

“Stop,” you growled at him.

“What?” Steve questioned, pretending to be all innocent.

“You're stalking me. Stop it.” You continued into the building with Steve following you.

“Did we not communicate last night?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hear what I was saying?”

“Your wife screwed your best friend.”

“And then from that point on she no longer existed to me anymore.”

“You had marital amnesia?”

“No.” Steve reached out and grabbed your arm, successfully stopping you. “Come on I bared my soul to you last night.”

“It's not enough.”

“How can that be not enough?”

“When you waited 2 months to tell me and I had to find out by her showing up, all leggy and fabulous and telling me herself, you pulled the plug. I'm a sink with an open drain. Anything that you say runs right out. There is no enough.” You pulled away hurrying inside with your friends after you.

“She probably could've picked a better metaphor,” Clint commented.

“Give her a break,” Scott said. “She’s got a hangover.”

With a huff, Steve followed. Tony, who was also coming in, quickly caught up to him.

“Dr. Rogers!” He called.

“Dr. Stark,” Steve replied.

“We have an organ donor coming in this afternoon. We're doing a harvest.”

“Commendable, but—“

“In OR one at four.”

“I’m in OR one at four.”

“Your surgery is non-critical.”

“You can’t bump me!”

“As Chief, I can. You’ll be first up tomorrow.”

“Interim Chief. Bump somebody else!”

“You’re in the OR we need.”

“Why can’t the harvest be done somewhere else?”

“Cause the donor’s coming in from a small facility. We have the location, the airport nearby and the staff. Your surgery is rescheduled.” Then Tony turned, heading away.

“I’m not done talking about this, Stark!”

“Well, I am! See ya around Rogers!”

~~~

Rounds weren’t too bad, especially because you successfully ignored both Peggy and Steve. It even became slightly better when Gamora called you in for a bowel obstruction. Except the guy wouldn’t tell you what he ingested.

“You know, Mr. Sanders, it would be easier if you just told us what you ingested,” you pried, taking him to radiology. “We’ll know anyone, once we see the films.”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Mr. Sanders responded.

“Mr. Sanders, whatever you’ve ingested could kill you. Are you sure you don’t just want to tell me?”

“It might offend you.”

“It might? Is it drugs?”

“No.”

“Mr. Sanders.”

“It’s not drugs, I promise.”

“Well, good, I’m glad.”

“I… Nope, not going to tell you.”

“Fine by me. We just reached radiology, so I’m going to find out anyway.”

It wasn’t long before Mr. Sanders was back in his room and the radiologist had found you with the scans.

“It’s drugs,” the radiologist stated handing the scans over to you. “Looks like at least 13 small balloons in the bowel. My guess, cocaine.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, holding up the scans up to the light.

They didn’t totally look like balloons, so you weren’t completely convinced. Before you made any judgement calls, you found Gamora.

“It’s drugs,” you told her, handing her the scans.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered, placing the scans onto a screen. “One burst and he’s dead in minutes. Okay, what do we do?”

“Run his bowel.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Running the bowel entails removing all 36 feet of the intestine from the body cavity, hand searching for the balloons and then cutting them out.”

“Good. Book an OR and get two other interns on board, need all the hands we can get.”

“Dr. Gamora,” Y/N called as Gamora tired to leave.

“Yes?”

“Are you sure they’re balloons?”

“You have reason to believe they’re not?”

“Well, the more I look the more I realize that this one,” you pointed to the scans, “has a face.” Gamora looked closer. “And this one… they all do.”

“I’ll be damned. They’re Barbies. He swallowed 13 Barbie doll heads.”

~~~

“Barbie heads?” Scott repeated after you told him, Natasha, and Peter what happened.

“Yeah,” you responded. “And Gamora wants two of you to join us in surgery.”

“I’m already booked.”

“I can do it,” Natasha said.

“Me too,” Peter said.

“My foster mothers used to buy me Barbie dolls. All sorts of them.”

“I also wanted one,” you added. “My parents never let me.”

“I dissected them. Cut off their arms, shaved their heads.”

“You’re a little scary,” Scott stated. “You know that?”

“I try.”

“Sounds like there’s a sick and twisted story behind this,” Peter said.

“No, they’re sexist, distorted devil toys that create unrealistic expectations carrying to the porn driven minds of men,” Natasha expressed.

“You swallow a bitter pill this morning, Romanoff?” Gamora questioned, coming up to you interns. “They’re just dolls. Quill, call for a psych consult. Then see if he has family.”

“Should I still book the OR?” You wondered.

“Blocked bowels become necrotic bowels. Check with Dr. Stark, see if we can bump someone. Those Barbies gotta come out today.”

~~~

Gamora had given Clint the impossible assignment to revive a patient. And, unfortunately for him, he was stuck with Laura.

“Any family members waiting?” He asked as he stapled up the man’s chest.

“Still trying to reach them,” Laura responded.

“Good. Well, I mean, not good that we haven’t reached anyone. Good that I don’t have to, uh…”

“It’s always hard.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry about Peter.”

“It’s fine. It’s good. No need to talk about it.”

“You do understand that I had sex with him before you, not during, right? Because when you and I were together—“

“I understand.”

“I just wanted to clear the air.”

“Oh, it’s clear. Perfectly clear… okay.”

“Okay.”

“And about the syphilis—“

“We really on’t have to talk about it.”

“Which is, I mean, I didn’t know I had it. I definitely should have, I’m a nurse. Like, there was a sore and I was all itchy.”

“Okay!” He backed away almost knocked the tray beside him over. “You know I, uh, got it. You know things happen.” He moved to the door, away from Laura.

“They really do. Things you wish you could change.”

Clint’s pager rang and he looked down. “It’s the Chief, I gotta take this.”

“Sure… Clint.”

“Yes?”

“You have to call it.”

“Call it?”

“Him.”

“Oh, yeah.” He looked at his watch. “Time of death 1:37.” He turned to leave again.

“And, Clint,” he paused, not turning around this time, “if we could, I wouldn’t mind trying again.”

“Maybe… some day…”

~~~

Tony was walking down the hall with Maria, going over the donor surgery.

“When is the donor getting here?” He asked.

“Should be here at 3. Harvest team’s not heir way in.”

“I also need to touch base with the transplant center about a patient here getting his son’s liver.”

You walked up. “Dr. Stark,” you called. “Dr. Gamora needs an OR and they’re all booked.”

“For?”

“An emergent bowel obstruction.” She handed him the scans.

“Drugs?”

“Barbie heads. 13 of them.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Maria looked at the films. “I can see their little faces,” she commented. “That patient must have serious issues.”

“Hill, can your hernia in 1 be bumped?” Tony asked.

“Most likely.”

“Do it.”

“On it.” Maria left.

“Thank you, Dr. Stark,” you said, moving to go.

Tony grabbed your wrist and stopped you. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not. I’m really fine.” And you pulled away.

~~~

You, Gamora, and a doctor from psych were currently discussing the psych evaluation on Mr. Sanders.

“He’s not talking. It could be pica,” the psych doctor stated. “Doubtful for a man his age. Maybe an oedipal complex or an idolization of the doll as his partners. Or it could be that he simply enjoys it.”

“Now I've seen a lot of strange things in strange places but how does he enjoy this?” Gamora questioned.

“He’d enjoy it when they came out.”

“I didn’t need to hear that.”

“Dr. L/N,” Peggy called as she walked back. “May I speak with you for a moment?” You looked at Gamora for help.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not gonna help you.”

With a sigh, you went to Peggy and the two of you began walking away.

“I assume he told you why he left me,” she said.

Annoyed, you stopped in front of her. “Look, Dr. Rogers, will all do respect, this has nothing to do with me,” you said.

“Really? So you didn’t take him back. Good girl.”

“And int he future, I’d appreciate it if we could keep our relationship strictly professional.” You walked away.

“Y/N!” You stopped and turned back slightly to give Peggy your attention. “Sometimes people do desperate things to get someone’s attention.” You shook your head and started walking again. “There are two sides to every story!”

~~~

You, Peter, and Scott arrived at lunch first. The three of you picked a large table farthest away from the others.

“Look what I went out and got,” Peter said, putting a grocery bag on the table. Opening the bag, he revealed 13 headless Barbie dolls.

“Really, Quill?” You wondered.

“That’s gross,” Scott cringed.

“I think it’s funny,” Peter said, smiling, as he laid them out on the table.

“Of course you do,” you muttered.

“Oh! That is sick!” Clint commented as him, Natasha, and Val walked up.

“Who would do that?” Val asked. They looked to see Peter smiling.

“Oh, look!” Natasha said, picking up a doll. “See Barbie fly.” She throw it at Peter, who ducked.

“Hey, Clint,” Laura greeted, walking by.

“Hey,” he replied, sitting down at not looking at you. The interns all gave him a look. “What?”

“She was trying to make up with you, Clint,” you told him. “You should go eat with her.”

“No, I shouldn’t…. No.”

“She’s cute and she likes you,” Scott said.

“You shouldn’t let a little syph get in the way of that,” Val added.

“It’s not the syph,” Clint insisted.

“It’s so the syph,” Natasha said.

“It’s not the syph!”

“Then what is it?” Val asked. Clint didn’t answer, looking down. “Oh.”

“What?” You wondered. Clint simply shrugged. “What is it?”

“There’s this other girl,” Val responded.

“Val!” Clint exclaimed.

“Other girl?” Natasha questioned. “You have another girl?!”

“He hasn’t told her that he likes her yet,” Val said.

“Val!” Clint exclaimed again. “This isn’t high school.”

“Clint has a little crush.”

“I do not… It’s a thing, a very personal thing. One day I would like to build on this thing with this other girl—woman. She’s all woman.”

“What are you doing, Clint?” You asked, slightly harsh.

“I-I don’t—“

“With Laura. What are you doing with her?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“You’re letting her think you’re emotionally available. You’re letting her think she has a chance. And there is nothing worse in the world than think you have a chance when you really don’t!”

“Y/N is right,” Natasha said. “Tell her that there’s someone else. And tell her why, Clint. I mean— I mean at least give her the chance to have some feelings about it!”

“Why are you both yelling at me?” Clint asked.

“Because of the estrogen Clint! Because of all the estrogen!”

~~~

“Was it an act of desperation?” You asked Mr. Sanders as you headed into his surgery.

“Not at all,” he replied.

“Something to attract attention?”

“No.”

“I’m just trying to understand here. Why 13 doll heads?”

“Well because 14 would’ve been too much.”

You cringed and helped the nurses get Mr. Sanders on the operating table before going to scrub. It was Gamora, you, Peter, Val, and Natasha in the surgery.

“I think it has something to do with his mother,” Val suggested. “Maybe she always wanted a girl and gave him Barbie dolls because of it.”

“Ah, ah, I’ve got another one,” Peter said, showing the head in the intestine.

“Uh!” You groaned.

“Doyen clamps to Romanoff,” Gamora ordered. “L/N, push the head up to the incision.” You began to squeeze the doll head up through the intestine.

“Maybe his mother looked like a Barbie doll and he’s into voodoo,” Peter suggested. “Instead of sticking pins in… well…”

Dr. Stark entered the OR. “You good here?” He asked Gamora, observing you though.

“Couple more heads to go,” Gamora responded.

“Then L/N stay here. All you other interns I need you on other cases.”

You met Tony’s eyes before he walked out of the OR.

~~~

Clint was put on a case with Steve. They were about to go separate ways so that Clint could run labs, when Steve stopped. He looked back at Clint.

“Is she okay?” Steve asked.

“Who?” Clint questioned. He looked up at Steve and knew. “Y/N? She’s… hanging in there.”

“Look out for her.”

“I will.”

Then Steve walked away. Before Clint could get really far, Laura found him.

“The family of the guy we worked on this morning is here,” she told him.

“Thanks for letting me know,” Clint responded.

“Clint, I just want an answers, so that I can get on with my life if I need to.”

“Look, maybe I’m not over the Peter thing yet or the syph thing… And I really want to be, but there’s also another girl. And, to me, it doesn’t matter there’s this other guy and frankly I wouldn’t care if she gave me the Ebola virus… I like you, Laura, I really do. Just… I—“

“You’re going to need some time.”

“Yeah.” He kissed her forehead. “Thank you for understanding.”

~~~

Steve was standing alone in the elevator when Peggy walked in, both dressed to leave.

“Just when the day was improving,” he murmured.

“You told Y/N what happened?” Peggy asked.

“I did. Why? What did you tell her?”

“That sometimes people do desperate things to attract attention.”

“What? Wow. That's your side of this? That I didn't pay you enough attention. Is that you were thinking when you got naked with my best friend?”

Peggy reached over and stopped the elevator. "No, by that point I wasn't thinking at all Steve. By that point I was just scratching an itch. We got successful you and me. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight any more Steve. And Bucky was there and I missed you. And now I'm sorry.” Steve restarted the elevator. “I’m more sorry than you can possibly imagine. But at least I'm talking to you about it.” The doors opened and Steve walked out. “Steve.”

“I’m a sink with an open drain, honey.”

~~~

“Did you get them all?” Mr. Sanders asked. You were checking on him, post-surgery.

“Yes,” you replied. “It wasn’t easy or very pleasant. How do you feel?”

“Empty… I feel empty now.”

“Yeah. I've been feeling a little bit of that myself lately.”

“I can tell.”

“Mr. Sanders, why does eating doll heads fill you up? What’s the satisfaction?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Would it be too much information?”

“Might.”

“Maybe I’m better left in the dark.”

next chapter >

I leave for Disney World in a week. It is the last big family vacation that I will be on for a while. Because of that, I will not be on tumblr March 19th through March 24th. I will actually be deleting the app so that it’s not a distraction.

Most likely, nothing will be posted during that time. If something is, it will have been queued up. Things that are posted while I’m out of town will not have tag lists attached. I will put this note in all the fic posts until then.

So do not come at me for spending time with my family instead of including the tag list. (I say that knowing that people won’t care and still come at me.... be respectful and get over yourself.)

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rodgers x reader #steve rodgers imagine #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #greys anatomy au #Marvel AU #marvel fanfiction

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wiypt-writes · 4 years

Text

Stark Spangled Destiny

Ch 4- Get Busy Living, Or Get Busy Dying

Chapter Summary: We check back in with Steve and the Kids, before Katie is taken back to a time a few weeks post the Battle of New York, where she desperately tries to get through to a despondent Steve.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So these chapters contain flashbacks of sorts- but they’re not flashbacks as Katie is watching the events unfold in front of her-a “Time heist” of sorts. However, to keep it clear and hopefully not confusing, the events she is watching are depicted in itallics instead of me trying to keep calling her 2010 v 2030 Katie…

This was originally finished and posted on the day that we all learned of Chadwick Bosman’s passing. I sure can read the emotion I was feeling when I wrote it, and therefore I still dedicate this to him.

Rest in power, King. Wakanda Forever.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Destiny Masterlist // Main Masterlist

When Steve arrived home, Emmy’s car was already in the driveway. Rori gave a little squeal at the fact her sister was home and shot off to the front door of the house, bouncing on the step.

“Hurry up, Daddy!” she turned to look at him.

“Alright, alright.” He chuckled, reaching her with a few strides and pressing his palm to the access pad. The door clicked open and Rori shot inside, running down the hallway shouting Emmy’s name, Harry toddling behind her as fast as he could followed by Stark, his nails causing him to slip on the wooden floor as he ran, sliding ass first into the small table which thankfully didn’t fall over.

“Rori, hush!” Steve hastily tried to quiet her for fear Katie was asleep, but to no avail. With a sigh he pushed Flossie’s stroller in and then once Jamie had followed him inside he closed the door, the security system clicking back into place.

“Am I banished to my room now?” Jamie looked at him.

Steve took a deep breath, before he shook his head. “Not yet no, but you’re going up after dinner.”

“Okay.” Jamie nodded as he kicked off his sneakers and picked them up, placing them in the rack by the door. “I think I’m gonna go up anyway.”

Steve looked at him, and nodded, watching as he headed off to the stairs, his shoulders slumped a little. He hated it when any of his kids were upset but this was Jamie’s own doing. With a sigh he gently picked Flossie out of her stroller, bent to retrieve the flowers that they’d all chosen from the little meadow and headed into the kitchen where he could hear Rori gabbling on excitedly.

“Hey Dad.” Emmy looked up at him, a little sheepishly given their earlier exchanged and he smiled at her as she came towards him, arms outstretched. He passed Flossie over and then placed the flowers on the side before retrieving the empty vase from the windowsill, giving a small groan of frustration. This vase was never empty, he usually made sure of that by always bringing Katie some flowers home once a week or so, but as he filled it up with water for the flowers the kids had picked, Steve realised he’d been as guilty of neglecting her and taking her foregranted a little as anyone else in the house had been.

“I take it Mom’s still sleeping?” Emmy asked and Steve turned to look at her.

“Yeah, she must be.” He nodded. “I’ll go wake her in a little while once we’ve ordered dinner.”

“I really am sorry.” Emmy began and Steve held his hand up.

“I know, it’s done okay?” He shook his head. “We just need to make sure in future we help out a little more, an I include myself in that.”

“Daddy?” Rori tugged on his jeans and he looked down “Can you try and fix my doll now?”

“Yeah, sure.” He nodded, looking at the offended broken Barbie doll on the side. Whatever had happened between Jamie and Rori, Jamie had managed to snap the head off from the neck. He took it in his hands, had a quick look before he disappeared into the laundry room for the superglue. After a little careful application he’d managed to reattach it reasonably well.

“All fixed.” he walked back in, holding the damned doll upright as Rori gave an excited squeal “But you need to leave it to set for a while.”

“Daddy you’re the best!” She hugged him tight and he chuckled as he passed it to her.

“Be careful.”

Rori nodded as she looked at the doll and then her face fell. “But I can still see the break.” She whispered.

“I can’t do anything about that, Princess.” Steve sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I can…” Emmy said suddenly. “Rori, go grab your craft kit.”

Rori looked at her, then to Steve who shrugged, before she thrust the doll back at him and disappeared into the den. Steve gave Emmy a questioning look and she simply winked as she placed Flossie down in the pack and play in the corner of the room, where the baby let out a loud shriek and wiggled her legs and arms excitedly at the activity station above her, grabbing at one of the rattles.

Rori came back in, carrying the little plastic box that she kept all of her stuff for colouring and sticking in the Crap Book, and set it down on the table as she scrambled into a seat. Emmy dropped next to her and opened the lid.

“Okay, so…” she began sifting through the stuff in the box and then pulled out 4 little squares of material that Rori had in there. “Which one is best?”

“Erm…” Rori looked at them before she pointed to a bright pink piece. “That one.” “Good choice.” Emmy nodded. She reached into the box once more and pulled out the crimping scissors that were in there because Rori liked the shape it left on the edge of things. Steve watched as his eldest carefully cut a thin sliver of the material off. “Dad, can you pass me headless Barbie?”

Steve smiled and headed the doll back over and Emmy wound the material round the doll’s neck, tying it in place at the front with a knot.

“There.” She said as Rori gave a huge gasp and a smile. “Line gone and Barbie now has an on point kerchief.”

“That’s awesome!” Rori grinned, giving her sister a hug. “Thank you, Emmy.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now, Aurora,” Steve looked at her and she glanced at him, her face falling at the use of her full name, because she knew full well what it meant, “if I find out you’ve hit Jamie with it again, it’s going straight in the garbage, you understand me?” “Yes Daddy.” She said, her eyes falling down to the table.

“Good.” He nodded before he looked at Emmy. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I could use a beer.”

Emmy smiled “Sure. Sounds good.”

“Can I-“

“No.” Steve cut Rori off. “You can have a juice box. What flavour do you want?”

“Can I have apple please?”

“Sure.” He turned to Harry who was sat at the table, pushing a small car across the surface. “Hey Buddy, you want a juice box too?”

“Owange pwease.” He looked at Steve who nodded and moved to the fridge. He passed the kids each a drink, piercing Harry’s with the straw for him before he moved to the wine cooler and pulled two beers out of the beer section at the bottom. He flipped the lids on the opener set into the unit and slid one over to Emmy as Rori hopped down from the table and announced the was going to the Den.

“Any luck on the apartment hunting?” He asked and she wrinkled her nose.

“Not really.” She shrugged. “We can’t agree on anywhere. I like a place, Pete isn’t so keen, he likes somewhere, I’m not sure.” She looked at Steve “How did you and Mom agree on this place?”

“We just walked in and knew it was right.” He shrugged. “We were in a slightly different position though. We’d been living in our apartment and the compound for so long, I think this place just ticked everything we wanted. Plus, your Mom was pregnant with Jamie so we saw past the tiny little niggles we had and focussed on the good bits and there were far many more points we liked. We changed the bits we didn’t eventually.” He looked around the kitchen “And it’s nice. It’s home.”

“Pete’s not really comfortable with you and Mom saying you’d buy us somewhere.” Emmy said gently and Steve smiled, chuckling.

“I wasn’t comfortable with your Mom basically buying this place either.” He shrugged. “But, well as she pointed out, we were married by then, it was a moot point.” He took a pull from his bottle. “Did she ever tell you about the house we viewed before we got married?” Emmy grinned and nodded “Danni with an I, remember?” Steve snorted and then shrugged. “Yeah, so I had a hard time with that because I had nowhere near as much money as your Mom to put down but, it’s just money Em. Easy to say when you have it but if you and Pete are ready to settle down and be together then it shouldn’t be an issue. You want me to talk to him?” “No.” Emmy hastily spoke. “Absolutely not. You already scare the sh…” she stopped herself swearing and Steve arched a brow. “You scare the life out of him.”

“Good.” Steve grinned “I’m your Dad. That’s my job.”

Emmy rolled her eyes and Steve bit back a chuckle, checking his watch. It was almost seven. So much for an early night for the kids.

“Right, I’m going to order dinner. Fancy doing me a favour?”

“Sure.” Emmy shrugged

“Can you get Harry a bath and into his pyjamas? I’ll round the other two up once you’re done.”

“No bath from Emmy.” Harry mumbled “Momma gives me my bath.”

“Momma’s sleeping buddy, but she’ll come down in a little while for dinner ok?”

Harry looked at him and then grinned “Emmy…daddy got momma wet yesterday.”

Steve spluttered on his beer as Emmy looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

“He means at bath time.” Steve hastily explained “Harry was splashing and it ended up in a slight water fight…”

“Well of course, what else could he mean?” Emmy rolled her eyes before she groaned “God that’s a disgusting image…”

Steve blushed a little before he shook his head, pulling out his phone. “Pizza?”

Emmy nodded before she frowned “Actually, whilst I’m okay with whatever, surely mom would prefer her favourite if she’s feeling down?”

Steve pondered. “Good point. I can order from both. You want a burger or…”

Em nodded. “I’ll have the same as mom, double cheese with a side of chilli fries…oh, and can we get some mac and cheese to share?”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t share food, I’ll get two.”

Emmy smiled and then stood up grinning at her younger brother. “Okay Squirt, let’s go get you bathed.”

Harry looked at her, before he shook his head, “nope,” and in a flash he was off his chair, sprinting out of the room, cackling to himself. Emmy shook her head and with a snort took off after him. Steve watched them go, smiling to himself for a second before he set about ordering their dinner. ***** “Hey…” Katie looked at Steve as he emerged into her tower penthouse. “You okay?”

“Yeah, no, actually I dunno.” He sighed, “I’m sorry to barge in and bother you but…”

“It’s okay, I’m not busy.” She looked at him frowning, “what’s up, Soldier?”

“I had a meeting with Fury before.” Steve bit his lip, “he was going on about the academy and stuff he has planned for me and…” he trailed off

“Say what’s on your mind.” Katie encouraged, gently as she took him in. It had only been two weeks since the battle of New York, and Steve looked absolutely exhausted. She could tell he wasn’t sleeping. She’d seen him a handful of times over the past fortnight and he’d started to look more and more drawn with each visit.

“It’s overwhelming.” Steve replied eventually, shaking his head “Everything. God, it’s so noisy and…” he swallowed, “look, sorry, I’m just, I don’t know what I’m doing here, Katie. The world is so different. This isn’t me.” Katie pondered something for a minute, before she had a sudden wave of inspiration.

“Ever seen Niagara falls?”

“What?” Steve frowned, utterly perplexed at her change of subject. “No, but what’s…”

“I think you need a little head space.” She mused, before she spoke. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Miss Stark.” The AI responded and Steve jumped a little. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the voice belonging to a man that didn’t actually exist.

“Can you patch through and get one of the jets ready. Set a course for Niagara, I want to take a trip.”

“Of course Miss Stark.” Jarvis replied. “Give me a moment.”

“We can’t just fly to Niagara.” Steve looked at Katie horrified, “I mean…”

“The beauty of having a personal, private Jet is just that, Steve,” she grinned, “I can go where I want, when I want, with anyone I want. Well, most of the time anyway.”

“Isn’t that a little...”

“Self-indulgent? Eccentric? Arrogant?” She looked at him, arching an eyebrow and he sighed, shaking his head.

“I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t…”

“Well if you did mean that, you’d be correct, of course it is.” She shrugged. “But I don’t much care. It comes in handy, and as part and parcel of being friends with a Stark, you get the privilege too. Oh, and if you’re worried about the environment, don’t be. They run on self-sufficient energy sources, like this place.” She waved her hand around the apartment and Steve gave her a small smile.

“Sorry,” he looked at her a little sheepisly, “I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

Katie shrugged, “no offence taken, it’s okay.”

“Miss Stark?” JARVIS spoke again. “The Jet will be ready to leave in half an hour. Would you like me to organise a car?”

“No need, I’ll take mine. Can you have Happy sort the clearances for myself and Captain Rogers, and a car at the other side?”

“Of course”

“Thanks J.” She said, then she looked at Steve. “How about it Cap? A little spontaneous fun might be just what you need.”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh come on!” She pleaded. “You need to learn to let go, live in the moment. Not everything has to be so serious and daunting.”

Steve looked at her as she raised her eyebrows before he rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

She gave him a grin and nodded, “okay, wait here, gonna grab my jacket.”

“Do I need anything?” He asked “Like to fly or…”

“No, you’re good.” She tossed over her shoulder as she headed into her room. Shoving on a pair of sneakers and grabbing her leather jacket she walked back out to find Steve stood in exactly the same place he had been, his hands twisting together almost nervously. She took him in for a moment, he was wearing a pair of light grey slacks, a blue and white plaid with a white t-shirt just visible where the top three buttons where undone and a brown leather jacket. “What’s your schedule like next week?”

“I err, I don’t have a….what?” He frowned, utterly perplexed. .

“Never mind, I’ll sort it. We’re going clothes shopping.”

“No, absolutely not.” He shook his head.

“Steve, you can’t walk around dressed like that forever.” She scoffed “You want a quiet life? You’re gonna have to blend in a little.” As she watched his face fell and she cursed herself, hastily adding, “it’s not that you look bad. You don’t, at all. But trust me, the more you can embrace the changes in your life the happier you’re gonna feel.”

“Who says I want to embrace it?” He mumbled.

“Don’t you?” She challenged, looking at him. He gave a sigh and shrugged. “Well, that’s up to you. I can’t make your mind up for you.” “No? You’ve done a pretty good job of that today so far.” He quipped and she looked at him.

“If you really don’t want to go then we don’t have to.” She replied, not a shred of annoyance or anger in her voice. “I just thought it might be nice to get away from the noise. Both out there and in here…” She reached up and gently tapped his temple. There was a moment’s pause before Steve took a deep breath and smiled.

“No, I know. You’re right.” He nodded. “Lead the way.”

“God, I never realised how forceful I was.” Katie mused, watching as her past self and Steve headed into the elevator. She turned to Tony. “I was worse than you!”

“Hmmmm,” Tony rotated his hand in front of him on a so-so motion, “maybe not quite.”

“He needed it though.” Katie let out a breath from her nose. “God, he was so down for those few weeks after New York. I hated seeing him like that, so sad and lost.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Natasha muttered and Katie turned to her, frowning.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.” Natasha said, airily as she too headed to the elevator “Come on.”

They made their way down through to the parking lot in time to see Katie unlocking the white range Rover that had ended up buried under the Triskellion. Steve hopped into the passenger side, and Katie said something to him. He turned, reached for his belt, clicked it in and then looked at her, arching his brows. She nodded and then pulled the car out of the spot.

“He hated seatbelts.” Katie smiled fondly before she imitated his deep baritone. “They didn’t have these in my day…”

“Seatbelts, toasters, microwaves, headless and faceless voices,” Tony ticked them off on his hands, “mobile phones, TVs…” “Flashy billionaires in red and gold metal suits.” Katie nudged him, and he turned to look at her, his trademark smirk on his face. She sighed “He didn’t take long to come round, all things considered.”

They hopped into Tony’s car and emerged into sunny Manhattan from the underground lot. Katie smiled, taking it all in fondly. It had changed, dramatically following the events of the Snap and was still a very different place to the one she had once loved and called home. And then sure enough, the scenery was changing once more and they were pulling into the parking lot at Nigara Falls State Park. They all climbed out, and Katie followed Tony and Natasha through the throng of sight seers, taking the route she could remember with Steve. She could recall this trip like it was yesterday. They’d spent a few hours walking around, down to the Cave of Winds…which seemed to be where they were heading now. And, sure enough, after a little time walking Tony stopped and nodded to where her past self and Steve were stood on the Hurricane Deck, both in bright yellow ponchos. Katie knew what was coming and her face split into a grin as she watched.

Suddenly a sheet of water blew right over them, drenching them both. Steve’s face arranged itself into utter shock and Katie burst into laughter as she glanced up at him, his hair flattened to his head, water dripping down his face.

“I told you to put the hood up!” She howled, tipping her head back as she laughed. He glanced at her, wiping his face, before another wave blew over them.

“What the hell!” He spluttered, before a grin split his face in two and he gave a chuckle as well, shaking his head. He turned to look at the waterfall, taking a huge breath, closing his eyes. After another few rounds of being drenched, Katie tapped his arm and jerked her head, the pair of them heading a little further down the trail. Steve reached up and brushed his soaking hair back from his face, looking at Katie who grinned back at him.

“Everyone who comes to Niagara has to feel the spray on their face.”

“That wasn’t spray!” Steve scoffed. “We might as well have jumped into the damned fall itself.”

“Now there’s an idea.” Katie mused “I reckon they’d let you if we asked.”

“Yeah, I mean I already did one plunge to my supposed death into icy water.” Steve looked at her “What’s another?”

“Ooh was that sarcasm?” Katie arched her eyebrow and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Maybe.” He shrugged and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Come on, we can head back up and grab a coffee. Take in the view where we’re safe and dry.”

Together they weaved their way back through the visitors, and Katie’s eyes were taken by a gang of people who were all pointing at Steve and nudging one another. “Don’t bother.” She said loudly, and they looked at her, frowning.“It’s not him. He just looks very similar. Makes a killing as tribute act.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve looked at her.

“Tell you in a bit.” She grabbed his elbow and steered him up a narrow, step-lined path towards a small outdoors coffee stall. “What’s your poison?”

“Erm. Just normal, I guess?”

“Can I get a large Latte and an Americano.” Katie turned back to the barista before she looked at Steve. “You want cream or…”

“Please.” He nodded. He’d drunk it black mostly when on tour in the army, but that was because there wasn’t much of an option for any other way. Katie nodded to the barista, thanked him and reached for her purse.

“Oh, I’ll get it.” Steve said quickly, fishing his wallet out and handing over a note. Katie looked at him, smiled and thanked him and they moved further down to wait for their coffee. “So who makes a killing as a tribute act?”

“You.” She shrugged. “Well, so I told them. They’d recognised you, I think.”

“Oh.” Steve looked around “Right.”

“It’s okay, I threw them off.” She smiled, taking her drink. She moved over to the table at the side, adding a sugar to hers and stirring. Steve did the same, another thing that had never been possible in the war and once they were sorted the two of them headed over to the little viewing area, which gave a safe look out over the expanse of the waterfalls.

“You’re right, it really is beautiful” Steve looked around, taking a sip of his coffee, his aviators placed on his face.

“Yeah, I like it.” She smiled.

“You come here often or…”

“Not been for years. In fact, the last time was just after my 21st. Me and Tony came for a day out, well, I say day, we actually stayed over. Made a weekend of it. It was fun.”

“Fun.” Steve repeated. “Yeah, I remember that.”

Katie sighed. “You know, I get that you’re pissed and confused, I would be as well, Steve but you’re being your own worst enemy now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, a little defensively. She turned to him, completely nonplussed by his tone and eyed him shrewdly.

“You know, there’s a quote from one of my favourite films that sums up you and your ‘situation’,” she framed the words with quotation marks using her fingers, “perfectly.” She looked at him. “’You can either get busy living, or get busy dying’.”

Steve took a deep breath, his face still trained on hers and she saw him swallowing a little.

“The world has changed Steve, there’s no escaping that,” Katie reached out to take his hand, giving it a little squeeze, “but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.”

She watched as he took a deep breath and turned away from her, his hand still linked in hers as he looked back over the waterfall. He didn’t reply.

Katie wiped at her eyes as Tony dropped an arm round her shoulder, totally swept up in the emotion. “Fuck,” she swallowed, “I…”

“I know.” Tony said gently as she leaned into him, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“He just looks so,” Katie glanced at Steve, “defeated. That’s exactly how he looked in Wakanda when…” She trailed off. “I hate seeing him like this.”

“I know but remember this didn’t last long.” Tony soothed her. “You got through to him.”

“Big time.” Natasha added, gently. “Nova, this was a pivotal moment in Steve’s life. He always told me that ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ was a personal favourite of his, and this is why.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s told me.” Katie sniffed. “In fact, he told me not long after we started dating that this moment was what made him kick himself up the ass, realise that he had to try and move forward. It’s why we came back here a few times. But it didn’t make it any easier for him you know? He still struggled.”

“No, but you did.” Natasha looked at her. “You made it a hell of a lot easier for him. You know this.”

Katie nodded. “Yeah, like I say, he’s told me plenty of times. Still, guess he had no option. Not like he could go back was it?”

“Well, he could have.” Tony shrugged. “When I cracked Time Travel.”

“I mean at the time.” Katie shot Tony a glare. “Stop being facetious.”

“Yeah, about that, that isn’t strictly true either. Well, maybe not the Time Travel thing but…” Natasha trailed off as Katie looked at her, frowning.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.” Nat smiled. “Come on.”

Katie looked at Tony who simply shrugged before she tossed a glance back over to her past self who was now stood with Steve, both engaged in a conversation. She fondly recalled how it had taken a lighter turn, Katie telling Steve about her experiences in London, and he his, both of them sharing a laugh about how the two were very different. She made a mental note to tell him they needed to come back to Niagara soon, with the kids this time. With a final, fond look at the back of her soldier, she turned and followed her friend and brother towards the car.

*****

“Now this takes me back.” Katie smiled, fondly looking around the inside of Steve’s New York apartment that SHIELD had put him up in. It was clean and tidy, nothing out of place. Not unlike his home in DC had been, well, that is until she had descended upon it and caused chaos. She used to take great delight in moving things around and seeing how long it took him to notice and especially wearing odd socks which she would flash when she kicked off her sneakers and either dropped her feet onto the coffee table or up on the sofa besides him. He had hated that, so much so that for her birthday the first year he’d known her, he’d jokingly bought her a bumper pack of the items which were labelled with the days of the weeks on. More fool him though, as she’d simply mixed them all up and started wearing them on the wrong days. Rori now wore odd socks too, copying her, and Steve simply rolled his eyes every time he saw it, chuckling to himself.

Just another way he had come so far from the uptight man he had been all those years ago.

She wheeled round as she saw Steve walk into the apartment, in the same outfit as she had been in at Niagara. She glanced at the calendar on the wall and realised it was the same day, this must have been the night they had gotten home.

Curiously, she followed him into the kitchen where he pulled out a beer and popped the lid with his hand.

“Show off.” Tony mumbled and Katie snorted.

“He still does that you know, not all the time but, when he’s feeling like wants to be particularly macho.” Katie smiled fondly.

The three of them watched as Steve sat down at the small table, both his large hands cradling his drink as he sat still, his eyes fixated on a spot on the wall, his face deep in concentration. Katie felt her chest contract a little, he looked so damned lost.

He reached for his phone, pulling it out, looking at it. It was a Samsung, Katie had shown him how to use it, she remembered and she also remembered showing him how to take photos with it, which she knew he’d done at Niagara, testing it out.

This was strange for her to watch, as she hadn’t been here for this moment previously. So she couldn’t know for sure what he was thinking as he looked at his phone. She took a step towards him, peering over his shoulder as she glanced down at what he was looking at. It was a picture of the water fall he’d taken as they stood with a coffee, and then he swiped to the next one which was the first ‘selfie’ of the pair of them ever taken, one which still sat in a frame on the side in their hallway. Steve had crouched down to get into the frame, as Katie couldn’t quite reach far enough otherwise and he’d smiled, a little awkwardly, but it made for a good shot all things considered. She’d teased him relentlessly about being the Poster Boy of the damned War, but being so shit at actually taking a photo. So much so at one point he’d threatened to throw her over the railing. She’d laughed than and slapped his arm, drawing a chuckle from him in response.

Steve gave a little sigh as he looked at the photo, before he turned the screen off, drained his beer and pushed his chair back from the table. Picking up his jacket he left, locking the door behind him.

“What…” Katie looked at Natasha who nodded to the door.

Katie frowned, opened it and stepped through…and found herself in an office. Only this wasn’t at the Triskellion, it was at their base in New York. Steve was stood in front of Fury, who was lounging in a chair.

“I take it from the demand to see me immediately you’ve come to a decision?” Fury eyed Steve and the soldier took a deep breath.

“Yes, I have Sir.”

“And?”

“I don’t want to go back into stasis.” Steve spoke clearly. “I was tempted but, well, I’ve been given a second shot at my life. I owe it to those men, all my friends who didn’t, not to throw it away.”

Fury took a deep breath and nodded. “Good, I’m glad. Like I said a few months back, the world could still use a man like you, Cap.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll take the position in SHIELD it it’s still open. Just tell me where I need to be and when.”

Fury smiled. “Consider it done.”

“Thank you.” Steve said, before he nodded to the door. “I’ll see myself out.”

As he turned to go, Fury stopped him. “I’m curious, what changed your mind, other than owing it to the dead?”

Steve hesitated and turned to the Director, a small smile on his face. “Let’s just say I had my eyes opened. The world has changed, but it’s still a beautiful place.”

Katie’s breathing was deep as she watched Steve leave the office, “He…he was going…” the words caught in her throat as she looked at Natasha, completely in shock at the scene she had just watched.

Natasha nodded. “Fury offered him the chance to go into stasis, to be frozen again, and brought back out if we ever needed him. Just like HYDRA did with Barnes.”

“He never told me that.” Katie sniffed, her eyes stinging with tears. “He never mentioned any of this to me, I can’t…”

At that point she began to cry and she turned to Tony who wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest. The thought that Steve had felt so lost he had even considered this broke her damned heart and she couldn’t stop the tears as they continued to fall. And more so, she couldn’t understand why he had never told her.

“‘I’m only strong because you’re by my side.’ Remember those words?” Tony spoke gently.

“Of course I do.” Katie sniffed and wiped her eyes, stepping back a little to look at her brother. “It was in his wedding speech…”

“Exactly.” Tony smiled, reaching up to brush her tears away with his thumbs. “You gave him the strength to keep going when everything and everyone he knew was lost.”

“Without you being there, Rogers would have ended up as nothing more than a Soldier, wheeled out by SHIELD when they needed him.” Natasha sighed gently. “It’s twisted, I know, given Barnes’ history, but that’s the way it is. Captain America would have been SHIELD’s version of the Winter Soldier. But you showed him there was a life to live, and he made that decision to damned well live it.”

Katie took a deep, shaky breath. “I wanna go home.” She whispered, gently. “I wanna wake up, I’ve seen enough. I want my kids, I want Steve.”

“Just give us one more stop.” Tony soothed, softly “One more, please Kiddo, there’s something else I want you to see.”

Katie looked away as more tears brimmed in her eyes before she glanced back at her brother then to Natasha.

“I can’t.” “Do you trust me?” Tony looked at her and she sighed.

“Of course I do.”

“Then let me show you one last memory. And then, well, then we can say goodbye.”

“Jesus Christ, Tone.” Katie cried, her voice cracking. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Hey, look at me.” Her brother instructed, and she turned to face him, swallowing as tears poured down her face, her chest aching with raw emotion. “You know this was never permanent. We’re gonna have to go at some point.”

“I know, I just…” Katie shook her head. She glanced back over at Fury who was furiously talking into his phone, most likely to Coulson from the snippets she caught as he discussed Steve, and she took a deep breath, steeling herself and turning back to Tony.

“Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“That’s the spirit.” Tony smiled, dropping an arm round her shoulder.

As they headed into the corridor, Tony looked around, taking the surroundings in as they walked to the elevator.

“Do you remember my speech?” He asked as he hit the ground floor button. “At your wedding, I mean.”

“Of course I do.” Katie smiled “I remember yours, Steve’s Sam’s…Steve nearly died at Sam’s comment about being friends with Captain America doubling your chances of getting laid”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny, but mine was better.” Tony shrugged flippantly, and Katie rolled her eyes, snorting a little as the elevator doors closed.

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled destiny #steve rogers #Katie Stark #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years

Text

Stark Spangled Destiny

Ch 4- Get Busy Living, Or Get Busy Dying

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Huge thanks to @icanfeelastormbrewing and @southerngracela for beta reading this before. You girls are awesome.

I thought long and hard about posting this today, but it was finished this morning and I sure can read the emotion I was feeling when I wrote it, and I wanted to share it. This was my outlay.

Rest in power, King. Wakanda Forever.

When Steve arrived home, Emmy’s car was already in the driveway. Rori gave a little squeal at the fact her sister was home and shot off to the front door of the house, bouncing on the step.

“Hurry Daddy!” she turned to look at him.

“Alright, alright…” he chuckled, reaching her with a few strides and pressing his palm to the access pad. The door clicked open and Rori shot inside, running down the hallway shouting Emmy’s name, Harry toddling behind her as fast as he could followed by Stark, his nails causing him to slip on the wooden floor as he ran, sliding ass first into the small table which thankfully didn’t fall over.

“Am I banished to my room now?” Jamie looked at him.

Steve took a deep breath, before he shook his head. “Not yet no, but you’re going up after dinner.”

“Okay.” Jamie nodded as he kicked off his sneakers and picked them up, placing them in the rack by the door. “I think I’m gonna go up anyway.”

“Hey Dad.” Emmy looked up at him, a little sheepishly given their earlier exchanged and he smiled at her as she came towards him, arms outstretched. He passed Flossie over and then placed the flowers on the side before retrieving an empty vase from the windowsill. He let out a little sigh, this vase was never empty, he usually made sure of that by always bringing Katie some flowers home once a week or so, but as he filled it up with water he realised he’d been as guilty of neglecting her and taking her foregranted a little as anyone else in the house had been.

“I take it Mom’s still sleeping?” Emmy asked and Steve turned to look at her.

“Yeah, she must be.” He nodded “I’ll go wake her in a little while once we’ve ordered dinner.”

“I really am sorry.” Emmy began and Steve held his hand up.

“I know, it’s done ok.” He shook his head “We just need to make sure in future we help out a little more.”

“Daddy…” Rori tugged on his jeans and he looked down “Can you try and fix my doll now?”

“All fixed.” he walked back in, holding the damned doll upright as Rori gave an excited squeal “But you need to leave it to set ok?”

“Daddy you’re the best!” she hugged him tight and he chuckled as he passed it to her.

“Be careful.”

Rori nodded as she looked at the doll and then her face fell. “But I can still see the break.” She whispered.

“I can’t do anything about that princess.” Steve sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I can…” Emmy said suddenly “Rori, go grab your craft kit.”

Rori looked at her, then to Steve who shrugged, before she thrust the doll back at him and disappeared into the den. Steve gave Emmy a questioning look and she simply winked as she placed Flossie down on the play-mat in the corner of the room, where the baby let out a loud shriek and wiggled her legs and arms excitedly at the activity station above her, grabbing at one of the rattles.

“Ok, so…” she began sifting through the stuff in the box and then pulled out 4 little squares of material that Rori had in there. “Which one is best?”

“Erm…” Rori looked at them before she pointed to a bright pink piece “That one.” “Good choice.” Emmy nodded. She reached into the box once more and pulled out the crimping scissors that were in there because Rori liked the shape it left on the edge of things. Steve watched as his eldest carefully cut a thin sliver of the material off. “Dad, can you pass me headless Barbie?”

Steve smiled and headed the doll back over and Emmy wound the material round the doll’s neck, tying it in place at the front with a knot.

“There.” She said as Rori gave a huge gasp and a smile “Line gone and Barbie now has a kerchief.”

“That’s awesome!” Rori grinned, giving her sister a hug “Thank you Emmy.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now, Aurora…” Steve looked at her and she glanced at him, her face falling at the use of her full name, because she knew full well what it meant “If I find out you’ve hit Jamie with it again, it’s going straight in the garbage, you understand me?” “Yes Daddy.” She said, her eyes falling down to the table.

“Ok.” He nodded before he looked at Emmy “I don’t know about you, but I could use a beer.”

Emmy smiled “Sure. Sounds good.”

“Can I-“

“No.” Steve cut Rori off “You can have a juice box. What flavour do you want?”

“Can I have apple please?”

“Sure.” He turned to Harry who was sat at the table, pushing a small car across the surface “Hey Buddy, you want a juice box too?”

“Any luck on the apartment hunting?” he asked and she wrinkled her nose.

“Not really.” She shrugged. “We can’t agree on anywhere. I like a place, Pete isn’t so keen…he likes somewhere, I’m not sure.” She looked at Steve “How did you and mom agree on this place?”

“We just walked in and knew it was right.” He shrugged “We were in a slightly different position though. We’d been living in our apartment and the compound for so long, I think this place just ticked everything we wanted. Plus, your mom was pregnant with Jamie so…we saw past the tiny little niggles we had and focussed on the good bits and there were far many more points we liked. We changed the bits we didn’t eventually.” He looked around the kitchen “And it’s nice. It’s home.”

“Pete’s not really comfortable with you and mom saying you’d buy us somewhere.” Emmy said gently and Steve smiled, chuckling.

“I wasn’t comfortable with your mom basically buying this place either.” He shrugged “But, well as she pointed out we were married by then, it was a moot point.” He took a pull from his bottle “Did she ever tell you about the house we viewed before we got married?” Emmy grinned and nodded “Danni with an I, remember?” Steve snorted and then shrugged “Yeah, so I had a hard time with that because I had nowhere near as much money as your mom to put down but, it’s just money Em. Easy to say when you have it but if you and Pete are ready to settle down and be together then it shouldn’t be an issue. You want me to talk to him?” “No.” Emmy said quickly “Absolutely not. You already scare the sh…” she stopped herself swearing and Steve arched a brow “You scare the life out of him.”

“Good.” Steve grinned “I’m your dad. That’s my job.”

Emmy rolled her eyes and Steve bit back a chuckle, checking his watch. It was almost 7pm. So much for an early night for this lot.

“Right, I’m going to order dinner.” He said, “Fancy doing me a favour?”