#so now i just look like a wannabe watermelon

[slowdive1994]

should i sleep in my mean girls outfit orrr?

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 33 - Dream Date

You run into a whole mess of problems. Nothing in Faerun is what it seems and everybody's a goddamn liar.

On AO3.

A woman stands over you. Short hair, more copper than scarlet, ears loaded with piercings, two barbels glinting on the bridge of her nose. The face is a bit off, and some of the piercings are in the wrong location. But she still looks so much like—

“Sasha?” you say.

Not-Sasha kneels, her hands glowing, fucking eyes glowing. Her voice is urgent, the timbre too low.

“You are transforming,” she says.

Trans…? You’re even more crushingly exhausted than you were before you went to bed. And it’s not just the guilt and turmoil of killing someone and then everything else that happened. Your skin is covered in a sheen of sweat. Your tunic clings to you. Your teeth ache and your bones feel like they’re splintering into shards.

“What?” you say. To your horror, your mouth feels mushy.

Not-Shasha’s hands move. Her face pinches in worry.

That woman on the butthole ship, her face ripped open as tentacles spilled out. They said you melted from the inside, oh god, oh god no, it’s—

But Not-Sasha’s hands are cool as she palms your cheek, runs that palm over your face. The blue glow of what you assume is magic soaks into you. Your entire body seems to settle; tissue firms up. Your teeth reattach their roots back into your jaw and your tongue remembers its shape.

“Who,” you say and sit up. Your body is yours, again. “Oh god. I was…I almost…”

“I came just in time,” Not-Sasha says. “Don’t worry. You won’t become a mindflayer. Not while I’m around.”

And who the fuck is she?

She offers a hand. You hesitate, but take it and let her pull you to your feet.

She’s taller than Sasha—not a difficult accomplishment—but scrawnier. And where Sasha’s eyes are bright, sky blue, this knockoff wannabe’s are sort of hazel.

Thing is, she’s also familiar in her own way. The echo of her voice reverberates in your ears.

The butthole ship. You almost catch the ghost of a memory, a specter out of the corner of your eye. The ship breaking up, spilling out into emptiness. Your mind blanked in sheer terror. You’d screamed, screamed until your air ran out, then sucked in a breath against hurricane winds to scream more. You do not have a visual memory; brain had spooked like a new horse and blanked that right out.

You’d stopped. That part finally surfaces all hazy in the back of your mind. Something had caught you right before you went splat all over the landscape. Kept your skull from smashing like a watermelon.

“I saved you before,” Not-Sasha says. “And I’m here to save you again. I’ll protect you from the tadpole, block the transformation.”

What the fuck how the fuck, you want to say. But Not-Sasha listens to something in the distance, and her face is grim.

“Listen carefully,” she says. “We don’t have time.”

You follow her over to a jumble of rocks, where she pulls a Yoda on and mindwhammies them off into space with a wave of her hand. Revealing a giant fucking skull with flashing lights and some kind of forcefield and a lot of warped screaming.

“There’s a fight for Faerun occurring even now,” she says. “And we are losing.”

Phantoms in space fizzle out of existence. There’s a lot more of them, fighting what looks like a shrinking group of others. Her group?

“But you might be able to change all that,” Not-Sasha says. And then explains.

Something about potential, about the parasite, about its power. Specifically, learning to use its power. Which makes your guts go all hinky like when you see tarantula legs sticking out of the shoe you were two seconds from jamming your foot into. It’s all a bit convenient. And interesting that she would wait until your bones were fucking dissolving to make this little speech at you.

And why the fuck does she look so much like Sasha. That’s the part that skeeves you out the worst.

Something explodes over at the skull. Not-Sasha’s lips press thin (Sasha had a lip ring; this…thing does not).

“The enemy comes,” Not-Sasha says. “You must return. Use the power. It’s the only way.”

And then she does a Jedi hand fling and smacks you right off into space. For the second time in a week, you slam back into your body. Bolt upright and stare at the dark fabric of your tent. The night is quiet, save for the soft sound of canvas flapping gently in the wind.

“Ghaik!” Lae’zel shouts.

***

From what you gather, y’all had the same dream. Seems to be differing opinions, generally landing in camp “GHAIK!” and camp “Astarion looks entirely too thoughtful.” You ain’t sure of the specifics, because the goddamn potion ran the fuck out. You’re reduced to hovering next to the rekindled campfire while half the crew keeps Lae’zel from going full rabies on all y’all.

Gale hands you a mug of tea. You sip that and watch the fuckery, and wish it was a mocha.

Astarion says something and he’s got that goblin grin, and it’s kind of nice to see somebody else take Lae’zel’s cold glare off’a you. Not that Astarion even notices.

All said and done, it’s mid-morning once everybody is all packed up and ready to go. The grove is quiet in the low, morning mist. Dew glints on long grass and the fur of a slumbering bear. No dead bodies, so apparently nobody started revenge killing in the night. Hopefully it stays that way.

You wonder how that’s going to go if the old auntie really is as good as her word. These people and their political clusterfuck, the missing druid, the goblins. What Not-Sasha will do with whatever propaganda Amway bullshit she was trying to sell you.

You’ll still be stuck here, still helpless, and this group will one hundred percent break apart.

You don’t think Wyll will abandon the tieflings here, even after he kills that demon woman. Maybe he’ll let you tag along and, like, wash his clothes or something? Or you can go with the tieflings (though none of them know you at all). Or someone will rescue this Halsin guy and the druids will let you sleep on their metaphorical couch (because they’ve been so welcoming to refugees).

Fuck. Fuck McFuckity fuck.

Still. Better than tentacle-face, regardless of phantom dream douche promises of protection.

What’s gonna happen is gonna happen. You can’t stop it. You can only control your reactions (lying in the mud accomplishes nothing). So you stand by as Gale does his mojo shit. As a purple portal flares open. As Wyll volunteers himself to go through first. And when he doesn’t stumble back, turned to hamburger or screaming with shredded lungs, the others follow.

Until it’s your turn. Gale—Astarion lurking just over his shoulder because he’s waiting for everyone else, isn’t he—gives you a smile and a nod. At least he’s put your dissolved ring to good use.

You step through.

It feels weird. It feels like nothing. Like you just stop. No pulse, no breathing, no thoughts. No you. Then a flash and you have legs and a spleen again. You stumble. Your foot catches something almost squishy and you barely catch yourself from tripping into murky stink water. Turn to see what you stepped on and those are human bodies.

You stare. The others have drawn close, weapons out. Astarion emerges, spots the bodies, and does a kind of hop-skip right over them. Makes a guttural “er?” sound in his throat.

Then Gale’s through—he stops before the bodies—and the portal disappears and y’all are in that fucking swamp with two freshly dead guys who have been torn open and pulled inside out like someone digging impatiently through a coin purse.

This isn’t like the bodies those redcaps left. This is much worse, much more savage. Plus there’s no viscera. These guys got filleted open and somebody scooped out their organs and those organs are nowhere to be seen.

You look at the swamp. Look at the others. Pull out your map and see that yep, you sure are right near the teahouse.

Old Auntie Ethel with her potions and cures. Gandrel coming here for information. Witches and body parts.

Auntie Ethel is the fucking swamp hag, ain’t she.

“Ethel bad,” you say.

Gale’s lips press thin. Then, you assume, “Ethel very bad.”

***

Ethel is, indeed, the hag. And she was, indeed, extremely fucking scary. Especially after she’d given you another dirt potion and then her skin split, spilling queasy, green light and she turned into a fucking swamp monster.

All she wanted for a tadpole extraction was your eye. You didn’t give her so much of a strand of your hair, because that shit is how you pick up fucking familial curses.

There was no sign of Gandrel (or his parts) (you hoped), but there was a miserable looking girl, heavily pregnant, face streaked with cried-over eyeliner.

Y’all should have let it be. But Wyll didn’t get that memo, and honestly? He was right not to. Not that you had any room to judge as your entire contribution to the clusterfuck that followed was whacking a masked guy over the head until he fell, and then systematically breaking both his kneecaps.

The corpse, once she was finally dead, looks smaller than it did in life. Less a big monster, more a collection of dried sticks and moss and swamp grass. You keep your distance (bitch was throwing poison the entire time).

Y’all are battered, bruised, bleeding, or fucking poisoned. And the girl y’all did this for is too busy screaming insults to mind a flock of fucking witch crows (you want to clock her in the mouth so bad, just once).

A crow caws. You think nothing of it until another answers. Then another. More and more, and y’all are now surrounded by a murder of them, standing, staring, and cawing at y’all. Then one launches itself into the air in a burst of black wings and the murder moves.

There’s shouting and flailing (that part from you). And through it all, you notice one crow land on the hag’s head. Hop along her face. There’s something wrong with that bird. Weirdly skinny. Its wing is broken—

Oh.

Oh, nope. Not broken. just rotted halfway off. Feathers missing in clumps to reveal slimy, brown bone beneath. And where its eyes should be are two, empty sockets.

“Oh my god,” you say.

The crow ducks down. Its black beak catches something and it tugs once, twice. Pops something free and lifts…

It’s got one of Ethel’s eyeballs, optical nerve trailing down like a diseased worm. The eyeless crow looks right at you. Cocks its head first one way, then the other, and then throws itself back into the air.

As one, the murder coalesces. Forms a swirling, clacking, coughing cloud that rises like a column of smoke to disappear back the way y’all came. When you look down again, the body is picked clean. You’d only seen the one bird, but somehow, the carcass is stripped down to nothing but bones and rags.

“We should leave right now,” you say.

No one argues.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[tpwkay]

Medicine (h.s.)

You’re finally given permission to cover the song you’ve wanted to perform for years and a special surprise during your performance sweeps you off of your feet.

Word count: 11.5k

Rating/warnings: NSFW - A lot of this is plot but there is smut as well. Contains explicit language and consensual sex acts between a man and woman. This is a story written in the 2nd person (“self insert"). This isn’t written to be exclusionary, it’s just my preferred style! Author’s note can be found at the end!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot thank you enough for coming out tonight to listen to me and the band. We've got a couple more songs coming up for you but I just wanted to take a minute to tell y'all how much we appreciate you." You gesture to yourself and the band behind you as the lights on stage come up a bit. "We wouldn't be where we are without your support. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you!"

The crowd cheers and you can't help but experience an insurmountable feeling of joy. It never gets old. You'd been in the spotlight for a few years now, already at the end of touring your second album, though the size and scope of venues this time around was much, much larger. There was nothing that compared to being able to sing your own songs and have a crowd of thousands scream them right back at you.

Being an up-and-coming singer and songwriter in the genre of country music hadn't been easy. Girls your type had been a dime a dozen, hoards of Taylor Swift-wannabes covering "Teardrops on My Guitar" during open mic night. You held nothing against them; there was a path to success for everyone, but yours had been, well, different. 

It was a karaoke cover of Brooks & Dunn's "Boot Scootin' Boogie", a song that you'd been singing since you were a toddler, that had gotten you noticed by a recording artist one night while out with your girlfriends, which led you to where you stand now, performing in front of thousands. You were liked for the range of your voice, with it's easy easy transitions from the sounds of pop to country and rock, in addition to the way you performed, and your take-no-shit attitude towards the entirety of the industry. People liked that you were forward and left nothing on the table, though you had to admit that it was mostly an act, a means of coping with the pressure of working your way to the top.

///

"It's refreshing!" Jax, your manager, had shouted one day, arms flailing as you had argued that maybe your attitude was going to get you into trouble one of these days.

"Aren't you, as, you know, my manager, supposed to be the one keeps me in line?"

"You aren't out doing coke, killing anyone, public indecency and all that," he had shrugged. "Far as I'm concerned, you are in line. People talk about you because of your attitude. They like it! They like you. Why is that so hard for you to accept sometimes?"

"Maybe I just haven't been caught doing those things," you grinned, effectively dodging his question. Fame hadn't helped break down the walls that you'd long ago built around yourself. If anything, you had done some reinforcing, built a moat even, in an effort to ensure that you protected yourself from getting too close to anyone that would only end up using you in the end. You had seen the way people in life had been used, and what it ultimately led them to, and you had promised yourself long ago that even if it meant being known as the Boot Scootin' Bitch, you would protect yourself and your heart at all costs. 

"Your momma would tan your hide for much less than any of those, you know. Hell, you should be more afraid of her than you are of me or anyone else… 'cept maybe God."

///

You shake your head, working the memories free from your mind as you grab a bottle of water from the platform on which the drum set rests.

There's one more song of yours to sing before you performed a new cover, the one you had been looking forward to for months. Although you'd gotten permission to perform it not long into the start of your tour, the set list had been rehearsed already and every other detail ironed out around it. You'd convinced Jax and the crew to let you slot it into the last concert of the tour, Austin, Texas. These folks knew their music and for some reason, they liked you so you were thrilled to be able to share something new with the crowd that had welcomed you to their city with open arms. 

You grab your guitar off its stand and slide the strap over your shoulders, adjusting it as you step forwards to the mic stand. A shimmering blue shirt catches your eye in the crowd and you do a double take because surely it can't be Harry because he's—

And it's not him, of course, though the fashion of the gentleman in the pit area would surely catch his eye as well as it's right up his alley. It's not him - it can't be him - because you know exactly where he is right now and it's not in the pit of your Austin performance. 

A grin stretches over your face as you think of him. You strum the first chord of the first song you'd ever written about him, although there had been many more since. He probably knew this one was about him, having come just after your first meeting. 

/// 

A friend of yours was good friends with Kacey, who had been the guest artist that night. Her name had been added to the VIP list and in the summer of 2018, just as you were hitting your own stride in your career, you tagged along with her to Harry Styles' live tour performance in your hometown of Nashville. 

If you were being honest, prior to his concert, you hadn't heard much of his solo work, apart from the various huge hits like his Kiwi or Watermelon Sugar and a few other ballads. You liked his sound, seemingly influenced heavily by rock stars of days past, but you'd had other influences to worry about in your own side of the industry. 

Sure, he had country music connections through the likes of Kacey Musgraves and Cam, and legends like Stevie Nicks, but his pop and soft rock style was pretty far removed from most country playlists that you yourself had graced. Your genres just didn't cross paths and the two of you seemingly operated in different realms of the music industry, topping your own charts and breaking your own peer's records. 

Of course, you hadn't been completely oblivious to The Harry Styles. One Direction had been too big of a deal to ignore and you'd often found yourself bopping along to their old hits, singing along as they played amongst the other nostalgic pop hits to which you listened. 

The concert had been in June, a hot sunny day followed by a perfect breezy evening. Downtown Nashville was always busy, but that night the city seemed to buzz, bright with music and life. After meeting for drinks at Acme on the River, you allowed yourself to luxuriate in getting lost in the crowd that milled about on Broadway. It was a surprising thing to not be recognized in your hometown, but you weren't one to complain about it. It was one reason that you value your time in Nashville over other music-centric cities like Los Angeles - it seemed that people here respected the private lives of musicians. There was an odd fan here and there, but you'd lived a majority of your "famous" life in Nashville in relative peace. 

You were early to the venue, your friend having wanted to have a chance to see Kacey backstage. You were excited to finally meet the star - though you'd been around the block of fame a bit already, there would always be people that you never had an opportunity to meet in passing. You had been greeted at will call and had been led backstage.

The arena was alive with excitement. At that point, you yourself had never toured a venue that large, so the experience of being backstage and seeing the operations first hand were thrilling and a bit overwhelming. In her dressing room, Kacey pulled you straight into a hug, gushing about how excited she was to watch your career take off. She insisted on sharing her personal cell phone number with you, urging you to call her to get together on a collaboration. You were in shock leaving her room, blown away by her kindness and the way the music industry worked in the most bizarre of ways, when you turned a corner and ran smack into a tall, solid, smiling Harry Styles. His arms had come out quickly to steady you on your heels boots. 

"Fuck," you swore, shaking your head at your clumsiness. "I am so sorry. What a great way to introduce myself."

He laughed and the sound flowed through you, warm and sweet like a cup of tea with honey. "Y'alright?" His eyes looked you over, and you couldn't help but notice the way they lingered. 

Your cheeks blushed and a wave of embarrassment washed over you. "I'm the one that should be asking you that. I don't think your adoring fans would be very happy if I took you out with a textbook tackle right before you're due to go on stage." You took a moment to give him the same appreciative glance he had already given you, admiring the way his deep blue custom-beaded suit jacket fell open to reveal a black dress shirt, unbuttoned halfway down his chest. 

"Ah, 'm fine. Lil' thing like you couldn't do too much damage to me, even in those heels. Don't think they'd be very happy though," he said, nodding his head in acknowledgement of the already-rowdy crowd while offering his hand. "I'm Harry."

You laughed as you introduced yourself, shaking his hand. 

"I've heard that name before, but I'm sorry to say that I don't recognize you. You don't seem like one that's easy to forget."

"I sing, write music," you shrugged, not sure how to explain to a superstar that you were on the way up, yet still somewhere much farther down the fame totem pole than him. "Country, mostly. Not sure if that's on your radar."

"The new stuff's not, but I may have to change that." He was tapped by one of the event producers, needed for another pre-show procedure. "Where will you be tonight?" 

"To your right, in the pit."

He smiled and you had almost immediately fallen in love with the crinkles that appeared under the corners of his eyes. "I'll look out for you. It was wonderful meeting you. Oh, shit, wait, just remembered— may I?" he gestured for the phone that was in your hand and you unlocked it before passing it to him. 

You watched as he dialed a number and put the phone to his ear. He paused for a moment before he grinned. "Hi Harry, it's you from before the show. This is a message to remind you to text this number and ask the owner of it out on a date. She's the one with the beautiful smile and great tackling skills. You won"t have forgotten her. 'Kay, bye!"

You laughed at an almost embarrassing volume, blown away by his cheek. 

"Why not ask 'her' out now?" you pondered to him as he handed the phone back.

"What, and risk getting shot down? Wouldn't want to be sad and disappointed through my whole show, now would I?"

"It would make the ballads a bit more emotional," you had reasoned with a grin.

"Ouch! They're already filled with emotion, love. You'll see, I'll sing 'em right to you if I have to. Gotta run, thank you for letting me use your phone, that was a very important message!"

You laughed again as he took off. "Harry!" you had shouted to get his attention in the busy hall. He turned quickly, a small smile on his face. "She definitely won't say no, but you can wait until later to ask if you want to."

His grin stretched wider and he'd pumped a fist in the air before turning and jogging down the hallway. 

You liked to joke with anyone who knew the story that your life had changed that day all because you met Kacey. Which wasn't a complete lie - it had been her dressing room you'd come out of before slamming into Harry in the hallway. 

///

Singing the last lines of one of your songs, your stomach began to flutter in a bit of nervousness and a lot of excitement. Performing the next cover was something you had been looking forward to for months, and the moment that you got to share it with your fans was finally here. 

You retreat from the mic stand to pass your guitar off to a stagehand, taking another sip of water to settle yourself. 

"Doing alright?" Wyatt, your drummer, shouts over the pounding bass drum and you give him a thumbs up before turning back to face the crowd. 

"I've got one more cover to play for y'all tonight," you say, grasping the mic stand to keep your hands from shaking. "I've been working on getting permission to play this one for quite awhile now. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it played and now here I am, performing it for you all. It's an unreleased piece by a very, very good friend of mine, but his performances of it are all over the internet so some of you may know the words. This song is called Medicine."

The song starts out with a steady bass line and the rhythm centers you a bit, steadying any nerves that still linger. The intro gives you a minute to shake out your shoulders and get comfortable at the mic stand once more like Harry does at each performance. You catch yourself having fun mimicking him and feel thankful that you're able to perform one of your favorite songs of his. When the bass drops in pitch and the electric guitar riffs, you slide in close to the mic stand.

"Here to take my medicine, take my medicine," you sang the opening lines, already settling into the sexy rock sound of the song you and the band had rehearsed relentlessly over the last few weeks. No, the genre wasn't one you normally dabbled in, but part of the fun of performing was taking chances, risks. You had to admit, you liked the sound a lot. It tempted you to branch out a bit more on your upcoming album. 

The opening lines of the first verse throw you back into thoughts of meeting Harry that first night. You hadn't imagined what would follow the concert, let alone have the foresight to see it bringing you to this very moment in time. 

///

You had been standing outside the arena after the concert, ears buzzing and heart thumping still from the incredible show Harry had put on. As soon as he disappeared from the backstage hall earlier, you had immediately saved his number to your phone, still in disbelief over the night's events. 

Your heart had soared when your phone began to vibrate, not in a text message but in a voice call. Harry's name appeared on the screen and your friend had nudged you, clearly approving of the night's turn of events. 

"Harry," you answered, ready to praise him halfway to Sunday on his performance. 

"Let me take you out," he interrupted you. "Right now. Please? Anywhere you want to go." 

You laughed and paused. "Yeah, okay. I might know of a place."

There was a lot of shuffling on his end before his voice came back on the line. "Might've had to do another fist pump."

"Told you she wouldn't say no."

"Where are you?" You heard the smile in his voice, already familiar with it. 

"Demonbreun and John Lewis, headed towards the park."

"Give me 10, I'll pick you up." He paused. "Be careful, okay?"

"I'll stick with the hoards of your fans milling about, maybe ask some of them for the hot gossip on you while I wait."

"Don't believe anything they say," he said, and you could tell he was still smiling as he hung up. 

He and his driver arrived shortly after, Harry's hair damp and covered with a baseball cap, dressed down in black pants and a simple loose white shirt, tattoos peeking out everywhere you looked. He exited the car and opened the back door for you, helping you balance as you stepped up into the large Suburban. 

"We'll go to Pecker's," you said to his driver, laughing as Harry snorted next to you. "Shut up, it's just a bar. Take a right up here onto 24 and it'll take us all the way to Fairfield. It'll be on the right."

He looked at you and smiled before reaching out to hold your hand in the middle seat between you. 

Taking Harry to Pecker's had just felt right. It was where you'd been discovered, where all of your adventures had started, and you weren't sure why but you wanted to share that small part of you with him after watching him up on stage that night. 

"Won't people recognize you? I looked you up before the show, you're apparently a pretty big deal around here." He had asked, smirking, sipping on the locally-brewed beer that Clint, the regular bartender, was serving that night. 

"Locals are pretty good about not interrupting our normal lives. Pecker's isn't as well known to tourists either, so it's a good hideout. This is where a lot of producers, executives and all the other professionals come to unwind." You ignored his comment on your fame and had taken a sip of your margarita instead. "Unless, of course, there's a drag show scheduled, then it's a bit of a madhouse."

Harry laughs into his drink and you grin. "So," he started after a pause, twiddling with the rings on his right hand. "What'd you think?"

"It was incredible," you said without hesitation. "Truly one of the best live shows I've seen in a long time, country acts included. You've got such a magnetism about you that people can't help but want to watch." You blushed a bit, alcohol and the quick comfort of him loosening your lips. "The whole water spraying trick was hot," you admit, making him blush. "And don't tell Stevie, but I think I might prefer your version of The Chain."

"Sacrilege! That's some incredibly high praise," he said, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. 

"Earned and deserved," you said, tilting your glass to his. "Honestly, Harry, you're an incredible musician. There aren't many out there that have the whole package like that."

"What about you? You seem like the whole package."

"I don't know if I'd say that. If you looked me up, you've likely seen what they say about me. 'My attitude won't get me far' and all. But I don't think it's my attitude, so much as it is my willingness to take the risks that others won't. I'm not out here to make music that's just there to be sold. Hell, I couldn't care less about the money. All I want is to create music that makes me feel fulfilled, and I think that honesty scares them." You twirled your finger in the condensation of the glass in front of you. You glanced up to his face finding his eyes already on yours, holding your gaze steadily. "It doesn't scare you, does it?"

"It's the most refreshing thing I've heard in a while. Not many people in the industry are fearless in the face of failure like that."

"I'm definitely not fearless; I just refuse to change who I am to make a buck."

"Who are you then?" Harry had asked, and telling him your story was easy. You couldn't understand how it was so natural, opening up to a stranger, but as the conversation wore on, you realized how similar you and Harry were in terms of the way you conducted your professional lives and that was without apology. 

And you also realized, as the evening continued and you and Harry crept your bar stools closer and closer to one another, feet and knees bumping, his fingers tracing the ridges of your knuckles as you shared life stories like long lost friends, that you didn't want it to end. 

///

"He's acting like a gentleman," you continue, changing up the lyrics slightly as you finish the first verse. The line always made you smile and you let yourself briefly flash back into your reminiscing about the night you'd met Harry, and how, even though he had acted gentlemanly upon dropping you off for the evening, you wanted to be anything but a gentlewoman. 

///

After enjoying drinks late into the evening at Pecker's, Harry had insisted on having his driver take you home rather than allowing you to call an Uber. 

"Such a gentleman," you commented as he opened the car door for you once again. 

"Maybe my gentlemanly actions have motives," he said, sliding his hand along your lower back as you step past him and into the car. Your grin matched his smirk as he shut the door and you decided that he'd been right - not calling an Uber was the right thing to do.

The car ride back to your apartment building was too quick and before you knew it, he was at your door again, offering a hand for you to hold for balance as you exited the car. Neither of you let go as you walked through the lobby towards the elevators. 

"You're uh— You're welcome to come up, if you'd like," you said, suddenly shy but not wanting to chicken out on asking for what you wanted, asking for some continuation of this sweet but likely brief meeting between you two. "For a drink, I mean, or to keep chatting, you know."

Harry smiled and glanced around the empty lobby. His hand in yours smoothed up the length of your arm, over your shoulder, and came to rest at your jaw. "I'd love to, believe me. You have no idea how much I want to." He leaned towards you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead and your skin burned at the contact of his lips. "But I want to do this the right way. Don't want you to get the wrong idea of me."

"What if I want the wrong idea of you?"

He laughed, the sound open and honest and it had given you hope. "You called me a gentleman earlier and I have to admit that I liked it, coming from you. Would like to keep up the facade that I am, even if it's just for a bit." His face searched yours, each of you trying to read the thoughts that were flying through one another's minds. "You have beautiful lips," he whispered suddenly, his accent thicker than it had been all night. 

Your mouth quirked into a smile, unable to do anything but preen at his compliment. "You do too," you replied, just as softly. 

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please, yes." Before the words had settled he was kissing you, slowly and with too much care, like you would break if he wasn't gentle enough. It was over much too quick but you knew you would remember every moment of it for the rest of your life. 

"Christ, I'd wanted to do that all night." His thumb smoothed over your cheekbone, smiling when you leaned into the touch. He glanced up as the elevator doors swung open and gently nudged you towards them. "Thank you, truly, for a wonderful evening. I promise to give you a call soon."

"I'll send Kacey after you if you don't!" you laughed, stepping into the lift.

"Good night darling." He winked and the doors slid shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the delicious ghost of his lips on yours. 

///

"Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline, think I'm gonna stick with you," you finish the first verse as Ryann rips through the chords on her guitar. You loved that the song built slowly, and even though that meant a quieter beginning, it promised an explosive end. 

Though the crowd had been hesitant at first, you can see that the first few rows of them are nodding along, countless phones out recording the performance. You know that somewhere out there at your request is a member of your press team, professionally filming the cover. You may only be doing it once, but you were determined to make sure you would never forget it.

///

You had enough time at home to check some of your social media accounts, shower and get comfortable in bed before your phone rang again. For the second time that day, your heart soared seeing Harry's name light up your screen.

"If you're going to say that you're downstairs because you've reconsidered my offer for that nightcap, I'll need a few moments to prepare as I'm currently in my pajamas," you said as a greeting and you were met with his warm laughter once again.

"No, no, I had to go back to the arena for a bit anyways, pack up and all of that," he said, still chuckling. "I just— I wanted to make sure you weren't offended by me declining your offer. Because I wanted to— I didn't want the night to end there. There's something about you that's… Transfixing. And I don't want to ruin that and make you think you're just a fling."

"That's quite a compliment," you said, a bit awed by his words.

"What was it you said earlier, "earned and deserved", yeah?" He said, quoting your toast to him at the bar, making you grin. "I want you to be more than that. I'd like to get to know you, the gentlemanly way."

"Okay. Will we have a chaperone at our next date then?" He laughed but didn't correct your referral to that evening as a date. You had snuggled a bit deeper into the sheets, still disbelieving that all of this had been the result of being dragged along to a concert. 

"No chaperones," he chuckled, "but yes, I do want to take you out again, if you'd let me."

"Hmm," you jokingly pondered aloud, as if answering with anything other than a resounding "yes" was on your mind. "I suppose I could fit something into my schedule."

"I hope that's a yes."

"Of course it's a yes! I didn't want the night to end either. And don't you dare say that you just did another fist pump," you had laughed, hearing the familiar shuffling of the phone on his end of the line.

"Me? Never!"

"You're adorable," you had said, a smile stuck on your face.

"And you're beautiful. Two can play this game."

There had been a comforting silence between you for a moment before you had spoken up again. "Harry?"

"Yeah, love?"

You had blushed at the pet name but loved the way it sounded being directed your way. "Thank you," you had whispered. 

"Should be me thanking you. Sleep well sweetheart." You'd fallen asleep with your phone in hand, hopeful that you wouldn't wake up the next morning to realize it had all been a dream.

/// 

It hadn't been a dream, and here you were, nearly two years later, performing one of the songs that Harry himself had sung the night that you'd begun falling for him.

The second verse continued quickly and you let the lyrics wash over you as you sang, loving the way the rock energy of the song sounded with a bit of your band's country influence. 

"Here to take my medicine, take my medicine, rest it on your fingertips," you sang, holding your pointer finger in the air much like Harry did every time he performed the song before bringing it to your lips as you sang the next line. "Up to your mouth, feeling it out, feeling it out."

/// 

Beginning to date Harry - properly date him too, not just make FaceTime calls to one another from across the world and sending texts back and forth until the wee hours of the morning thanks to the differences in time zones, sharing everything and more with one another as best you could digitally - had been the most exhilarating experience of your life, and you had performed in front of sold out crowds and accepted awards on live television. His tour was due to stretch on for almost another month throughout North America and the next time you saw him was when you'd been invited as Harry's guest to his show in Chicago just a few weeks after you'd met. 

While he had put on an incredible show for the United Center, there had been moments that felt like he was performing just for you, glancing over to where you stood in the Friends and Family area, meeting your eyes and grinning. By that point, you could sing along to every song of his and you knew he loved it, loved watching you dance along to the music that he had created and was performing. 

In a moment where you were thankful for the differences between the genres in which you two performed, you hadn't been recognized at all by his fans. You'd both talked about wanting to keep things quiet as you got to know one another, and you hadn't wanted a relationship with him, an already incredibly famous artist, to somehow influence the trajectory of yours. While it had been easy when you were apart, being together without seemingly being together was difficult. Especially in that moment, when all you wanted to do was curl up into him and soak in the post-show bliss with him. Instead, you sat on the couch with him, a cushion apart from one another, holding his hand tightly while you chatted about the concert. 

"Someone is gonna notice that you looked to my side of the pit constantly all night," you said and he grinned guiltily. 

"I like knowing you're in the crowd," he shrugged. "Besides," he scooted closer and threw his arm around you before dragging you in close, "you look incredible, how could I not want to stare at you all night?"

"Anyone could walk in," you pointed out, watching as his eyes followed your lips. 

"Just want a little taste," he said, moving in closer, "Haven't I earned a kiss from my girlfriend after all of that work up on stage?"

Your eyebrows raised in surprise as you looked at him and he seemingly realized his slip-up. 

"I mean— What I meant was— Shit," he scrubbed a hand over his face but you could tell he was hiding a grin. "Wasn't exactly how I wanted to ask you, but… Will you officially be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, H. I'm all yours."

"Love it when you call me H." He pulled you in for a kiss that you both lost yourselves in, finally able to experience the feeling of one another after being denied it for so long. When a knock at the dressing room door came, Harry had to all but drag himself away from you, hair disheveled and lips swollen, scowling at the door. 

You threw your head back and laughed as he stalked over and pulled it open with a flourish. 

"What?"

"The hell's your issue?" you heard Mitch ask before Harry widened the door so he could see you laughing on the couch. You raised a hand in greeting and Harry's scowl deepened as Mitch chuckled, taking in both of your disheveled appearances. "Oh, shit, hey, sorry. Uh, car's ready when you are. See you tomorrow bud." 

"Harry!" you chided once he'd closed the door in Mitch's face, giggles still bubbling out of your mouth. "He was just being polite."

"Interrupting arse is what he is," Harry said, sitting down and pulling you into his lap. "Where were we?"

You threw your arms around his neck and pressed your body as close to his as possible, hoping that he'd thought to lock the door before returning to your embrace. "Right about here, I think." With a hand on your hip, sliding under your shirt to reach warm skin and one at the back of your neck, Harry kissed you until you were breathless and not only wanting more but very seriously needing it. 

"Come back to the hotel with me," he murmured against your lips as you ground your body down on him, reveling in the way the action made him throw his head against the back of the couch and exhale sharply. 

"You sure?" Your hands smoothed over the chest of his skin, tracing the dark swallows with your fingertips as you rolled your hips. 

He shuddered at the light touch and gripped your hips tightly, pressing his up as you pressed yours down and the action made you sigh, the pressure a delicious tease of what was hopefully to come. "Absolutely," he said, his grin telling you he was pleased with the noises he was causing you to make. "Want you so bad, like I won't be able to breathe right until I properly have you."

You leaned in to kiss at his neck, his shower-damp curls tickling your cheek. "The feeling is mutual. Adored watching you up on stage tonight. Have I told you yet how much I love seeing you perform?" You nuzzle at his neck, urging him to tilt his head back farther, exposing more of his skin to you. 

"Yeah, you have, but tell me again," he sighed, his hands running up and down your back. 

"It's like when you get on stage no one else before or after you matters," you said honestly, letting your lips against his skin hide how truthful you were really being, spilling all of your thoughts about seeing Harry up on stage. It was scary, feeling so deeply for him already. But you wanted him to know, at least in part, what it meant to be able to watch him perform. "Something about your live voice just makes my breath catch in my throat, I can't get enough of it."

Harry breathed deeply for a moment, working to center himself while you nosed at the curls around his ear and heaped praise upon him. 

"It's like you connect with every person out in the crowd, like you're singing just for them. You can tell that you're having fun and people want to join you in that. They know you love the attention," you whispered and he hummed in appreciation (or agreement), the sound low in his throat. "They'd stay out there all night for if they could, screaming about how much they love you."

"And you feed into it, playing it up for them. You know exactly what you're doing when you get to act a little bit naughty up there, driving them all mad," you said with a smile. 

He chuckled and you could hear and feel the sound rumble through him. "Played it up for you tonight. Did it work?" 

"You mean did it make me want to jump your bones the second you came off stage? Yeah, it worked."

"Fucking hell," he said, holding you close with his hands on your butt as he stood up. "Our first time is not going to be in a dressing room so we need to go now."

He let you slide down his body and held you steady as you balanced on your legs. "Would be pretty fitting though, don't you think, given how we met and what we do?"

"Yeah, but then I'd think about it every time I was in one. You wanna torture me relentlessly?" He pulled you tight against him, kissing you once more before separating to grab his bags. 

"Yeah, relentless torture sounds like something I might be into." 

He glanced up at your words, eyes dark and hungry, a smirk on his lips. "Careful what you wish for, love." 

///

The bass line increased behind the riff of Ryann's guitar and you leaned into the mic stand, eyes closing as you continued singing the first bridge. "I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm wasted, and when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you…"

There were a few fans of yours and Harry's who apparently knew the words as they helped you out, screaming the unwritten word that finished the sentence: "tasted."

///

Harry was quick to say goodbye to everyone on the team before pulling you quickly through back hallways and down quiet staircases, sneaking quick kisses when he was sure there was no one around. You were both out of breath when you finally climbed into the car, grinning like kids getting away with sneaking around. 

The hotel ride was quick, mercifully, but Harry had been anything but patient, his hand at your knee creeping up slowly, closer and closer to the hem of your dress, toying with the hem while he chatted with the driver. 

"I'm gonna head in first with Martin and Eric will loop around and drop you off at the side entrance. I would wait in the lobby for you but this hotel hasn't been the best in the past with uh— containing sensitive information, we'll say, so Martin will meet you on your floor to get your stuff, then bring you up. Is that okay?"

"You sound like you've done this before, Styles," you said with a wink, using humor to cover the nerves that had settled in the pit of your stomach. 

He blushed and you loved knowing you got under his skin so easily. "The band used to stay here when we toured… and I was young and dumb once, yes."

"Just giving you a hard time, H."

His grin stretched as he leaned over to peck your lips once more. "See you in a minute, love."

Harry climbed out and the driver took off once again, slowly circling the block. "He's quite taken with you, you know," he said, glancing up in the rear view mirror as he parked the car at the curb. He got out and opened the door for you in the empty street then used his keycard to unlock the heavy side door of the hotel.

"Thank you," you said, both for his actions and his omission about Harry. Sure, you had talked to him as often as possible over the last weeks and had yourself been on the receiving end of his attention, but it felt validating to hear that Harry's feelings for you may have gone a bit farther than just a small crush if people around him had also noticed his behavior. 

Harry's bodyguard was waiting by the elevators and escorted you to your room to gather your luggage, then led you to Harry's door.

"Car'll be around about 9 tomorrow morning, H. Flight's at 10:30." He turned to you. "I understand you have business to continue here in Chicago?"

"Yes, meetings tomorrow and then I fly back to Nashville in the evening."

"There'll be a driver ready for you tomorrow as well. He's been instructed to take you wherever you need to go and he'll stay until you depart. Have a nice evening," he nodded at Harry, who was smiling in the doorway, before departing.

"You didn't have to do that for me, I could've managed by getting an Uber," you said, stepping into the room past Harry to set your bags down and kick your shoes off. 

"I didn't, was Martin's idea; says he doesn't want anything to happen to the one thing that's made me so happy these last few weeks."

"Oh yeah? I'm the one thing, huh?"

"You're everything, honestly," he replied a bit sheepishly, taking your hands in his. "Think I might like you a bit more than I already should. Lettin' my heart get a bit ahead of my head, I suppose."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," you said softly and he beamed. 

He moved his hands up to cup your face, pulling you close for a sweet kiss that quickly turned insistent, heat rising between the two of you. Harry slid his hands under the hem of your shirt to rest where your spin ended and yours wrapped around his neck, dragging him down to you as you stepped behind you towards the bed. His long legs tangled with yours and you tumbled backwards, laughing as you hit the plush bed and Harry collapsed on top of you.

He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at you with a smile, pushing the hair that had fallen into your face aside. "Hi baby," he said softly.

"Hi."

"Missed you," he said, leaning down for another sweet kiss. 

"We were apart for like, eight minutes," you giggled between his kisses, your laughter giving way to a sigh as he moved to press a kiss to your nose, your cheek, your chin.

"Doesn't matter," he breathed into the crook of your neck, pressing small open mouth kisses to the soft skin there, "Any time apart is too long."

"The two weeks left of the tour will fly by. You should enjoy them while you can."  

"Wish you could come with me, love performing for you." He kissed his way across the base of your neck, collarbone to collarbone as his fingers trailed to the small straps on your shoulders. "Would you like to take this off?"

"Please," you sighed, desperate and aching for the feeling of his skin against yours. 

Your first time sleeping with Harry had been exactly what you'd wanted and expected - hot and fast, admittedly over a bit more quickly than either of you had wanted, but worth the weeks of wait. 

Harry's skill set hadn't ended at singing and playing instruments. If anything, his vast experience using his hands and mouth only helped him excel in other pastimes that also utilized those parts of his body. To both of your delights, he had proven his adeptness in all areas multiple times that night, and once again in the morning before he had to rush into the shower, dragging you along with him simply to get more time together before you were forced apart once again. 

/// 

You had spent the next two months away from one another, Harry having wrapped his tour and immediately beginning work on his next album. You'd spent your own time mixed between writing and recording an upcoming single. You had already written a handful of songs that were inspired by him and you'd wondered, albeit a bit nervously, if the sentiment was shared. When he stopped in Nashville on a long layover, pushing his flight back even longer to stay with you for another night, you'd tried to pry the information out of him. Unfortunately, no amount of sexual teasing or denial had convinced him — he, however, had you singing like a canary almost immediately, teasing you in the best way about how easily you opened up for him, telling him all about the music that he had already inspired.

You had been FaceTiming him late one night weeks later, both tired from long days spent in the studio. He had suddenly gotten shy, biting at the skin around his fingernails. 

"Hey, stop that. What's the matter H?"

"Wanna ask you something," he mumbled, but a smile was peeking through where his fingers were still at his lips. "Jus' don't know how to."

"Baby," you sighed, "you can ask me anything. Y'know that." 

"I know, I know." He paused and took a deep breath before a wide smile stretched across his face. "Would you maybe want to come home with me this Christmas? To London? Wouldn't be for long, maybe just a couple nights, I just wanna introduce you to my mum already, she's been pestering me nonstop lately 'bout meetin' you and Gem's joined in on it now too, so it's two against one when they call and I've told them that—"

"Harry," you said chucking, trying to interrupt his nervous rambling.

"—and she actually called me Harold last time she told me to bring you 'round and that got me a bit worried so I—"

"Harry! Of course I'll come with you. I'd absolutely love to."

You met him at the airport weeks later, desperate to pull him close and kiss him silly in the confines of his darkly tinted car, but you refrained, knowing how seriously Harry took the protection of your relationship from the press. You may not have been able to see anyone straining to capture pictures of you two, but you knew there was always the chance. 

It was an entirely different story, however, when he'd finally pulled the car past the mechanical gate and into his private drive. You both reached for each other immediately, arms tangled and shifter knob pressed uncomfortably against your side, but perfectly content so long as his lips were against yours. 

"Fuck— I missed you— so much," he muttered between kisses. He pulled away, forehead resting against yours, sly smirk pulling at his lips. "Mum won't expect us for a few hours at least."

"What is it that you're insinuating, Mr. Styles?"

"That there's plenty of time to give you a tour around the house, that's all," he said innocently. He gave you a sweet smile before hopping out of the car and coming to the passenger side where he helped you out and picked up your bags.

You were eager to be given a house tour, more than keen to learn all of the things you could about his London life. The house was decorated in a way that made you smile - eclectic but with a definitive air of cohesive taste. It suited Harry to an absolute tee. From the artwork that decorated the walls to the mismatched but homey furniture, you could tell immediately that this was Harry's sanctuary - every inch of the home screamed his name. 

"It's incredible," you said as he led you into the largest room, the master. He walked over to the dresser that sat under the window and pulled open the top two drawers. 

"I know we won't be here long, this time around, but I cleaned out a few drawers for you here, if you want to unpack some things. And there's space in the closet for you too," he nodded towards the door on the other side of the room, dragging a hand through his hair as he talked, "I had too much in there anyways and some of it needed to go and I wanted you to be able to leave some things, if you felt comfortable, of if Mum drags us out shopping and you don't want to take it all home now you can leave it here and-"

"You- you cleared out a drawer for me?"

"Well, yeah," he said, resting his hand on the back of his neck. "Made some space for you in the bathroom too, though I doubt it'll be enough, with all that you bring along to fix yourself up." He paused and thought for a moment. "I know how our lives are. I just wanted you to have some of your own space here; want you to feel as comfortable in my home as I do. Is that too much?" 

"H," you said with a sigh, your lips curling into a smile, "it's perfect, and so thoughtful. I'm sorry I haven't done the same for you in Nashville yet."

"'s alright, love. I've already got a toothbrush there at least. I can take some time when we fly back to come and help if you'd like me to. As long as you don't end up wearing all the clothes that I leave there," he chuckled.

"You know me too well," you said, reaching for his hand. He lifted your entwined fingers to his lips to brush a kiss over your knuckles.

"You do look good in my clothes," he confessed, pulling you close to face him. "Look good in my house. But you always look good anyways."

"Said the pot to the kettle," you said with a smile. "I like being here already," you shrug, hands resting on his shoulders. "It feels like you, like home. Thank you for inviting me," you add, as though the measly voicing of your appreciation is enough to convey what you truly feel. 

"You're welcome anytime, if I'm here or not."

"You trust me that much?"

"Yeah, I do. I'll get you a key and everything." He leaned down to kiss you slowly, relearning the map of your lips and mouth, before pulling away. He laughed when you made a noise of protest.

"The bathroom's over here if you'd like to freshen up." He had pulled at your hand, stepping towards the other open door in the room. "Figured a shower might sound nice after a long day in an airplane. Besides, I've gotta clean up before we go to Mum's anyways."

"Gonna join me?" 

"Yeah, thought I might, if that's okay." His smirk had been wicked as he pushed you the rest of the way into the bathroom. He dropped your hand to reach for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head quickly. As he reached for the buckle of his pants, he had met your staring eyes. "See something you like, love?"

You definitely had, though you didn't think your attraction — physically or emotionally — for Harry had stopped at something that was as weak as "like." Getting to know him over the last six months had made you worry that there wasn't ever going to be anyone else like him, anyone that made you feel like he did. You had fallen for him, desperately hard, and the realization of it as you stood in front of his half-naked self almost embarrassed you. 

"Babe? You alright?" he asked as he stripped down to his boxers. 

"Yeah, you just got me all distracted," you had grinned, pulling your sweatshirt and remaining clothes off quickly before joining Harry under the warm spray of the water.

Meeting Harry's mom that evening went better than you could've ever dreamt it would. The two of you got on like old friends, and Harry had stared, almost in wonder, at how easily you seemed to bond with her. And then he had stared in horror as Anne offered to pull out the photo albums filled with pictures from Harry's childhood, particularly when Anne offered up the album filled with photos from Harry's and Gemma's emo phases. 

As the evening wore on, you caught Harry on more than one occasion glancing your way, cheeks bright from the red wine he was sipping on and eyes warmly reflecting the bright Christmas lights. He always looked like he was a split second away from saying something, only to shake his head and look away with a small smile. 

Later, in bed, Harry pulled you close to him. He was laying on his back, you on your side, and you threw a leg over his waist, soaking in all of the cuddles you could get on this short trip together. The room was only illuminated by the ambient light coming in through the blinds. 

"Mum liked you a lot," he murmured, gently stroking the skin at the base of your spine, "said I should hang onto you". 

You returned the gesture, running your fingertips along the lines of ink that make up his many tattoos. "I liked her too. She's wonderful, I see where you get it from now."

"Hey now, 'm wonderful all on my own!" He tickled your side and you couldn"t help but arch towards him, shrieking and laughing at the touch. 

"Stop that! You are an absolute pest, you know that?" you said, grinning up at him.

"Ah, you love me," he whispered, and his joking tone made you smile but the way he pulled you tighter as he said it made you brave. 

You let the weight what you were about to say wash over you, aware that things were going to change forever with just a few words. "I do love you, Harry," you whispered, moving up his body to press a kiss to his lips.

"Thank God," he had said, wrapping his arms back around you and pulling you on top of him. "Cause I love you too."

Leaving Harry after that had been even more difficult. All you wanted to do was be with him, but you had too much coming up with the future release of your album and Harry was still in the midst of doing his own writing and recording. 

It was your professions, along with the desire to keep your relationship private, that kept you apart. You weren't sure how you did it, but your relationship had withstood the distance and odd-hours. The only step now would be deciding if, when, and how to confirm the suspicions to tabloids and fans alike that you were an item.

The wait was killing you. All you wanted was to show off to the world that Harry was yours.

///

The bridge of the song was followed quickly by the chorus and the heavy guitar and pounding drums had you rocking on your feet, body swaying into the mic stand as you let yourself get lost in the lyrics. "If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive."

The crowd was even more into the song now, many picking up on the words quickly and screaming them along with your singing. The rock and roll vibe of the song was coursing through you and the crowd, the arena electric with energy already. 

"You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it."

You remove the mic from the stand and dance towards one end of the stage, singing as you move to the beat. "We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh! La da da da da! You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"

///

You had been on the phone with Harry one day in July, nearly five months after the release of your album, having him help you decide what the setlist of your tour would be when it began in November. 

"I wish I could cover one of your songs."

He had laughed and slurped his tea, the sounds comforting to you, even over the phone. "That'd be a bit obvious, wouldn't it love?"

"I don't mean cover Golden or Kiwi," you said, tapping your pen against the pad of paper in front of you. "What about one you wrote for 1D? What about Perfect? Or Stockholm Syndrome! That was always one of my favorites."

"Getting permission on those might be a bit more difficult, s'not just me that's gotta sign off on it. Besides, do you really wanna be the artist that covers a One Direction song on her own headlining tour?"

"Guess I'll stick with singing along to them in the shower then."

You were both quiet for a moment, lost in your own thoughts. 

"What if I covered Medicine?" you asked suddenly, realizing it was the perfect compromise, not to mention your favorite song that Harry himself performed oh his own tour. The rock sound wasn't a far cry from the roots that country music had and you knew it would sound great. "Even if it was just for one stop!"

"Hmm," Harry mused. "It would sound great with the band, I'll give you that. But videos will go around, people will know it's my song you're singing and they'll connect the dots about us."

"H, I'm ready for that if you are. I love you, and I'm ready to be able to share that love that I have for you with the world. Sneaking around has been fun but I want people to know how proud of you I am and how much you're loved and appreciated. Half of our fans know already, it's just a matter of us confirming it. I think that we could really-"

Harry was laughing at your rambling on the other end of the line. "Alright, alright, you drive a hard bargain, love. I think you're right, maybe it is time we stopped sneaking around. I'll try, but Jax and everyone else still have to agree to it too. It might be easier to convince everyone if it's just a one time thing. Pick another cover, something you'd normally do, in case it takes some time to work things out."

"I'll ask him right now! Thank you Harry!"

"I just have one condition," he said, and you could hear the grin that was surely pulling at the corners of his lips. 

"What's that?"

"I get to perform it with you," he had said, and the smile already on your face widened exponentially. "If we're finally gonna make "us" public, may as well do it with a bang."

///

In the moment after the chorus, an 8 count beat is carried by the drummer and guitarist. For this performance, and the only performance you'd put on of this song, you had rehearsed the 8 count repeating once between the chorus and the next verse, as you needed a bit of extra time to announce your guest performer. 

"Ladies and gentlemen," you shout into the mic, grin wide and face beaming already at what was about to take place. "To help me finish this performance, please help me welcome my very good friend, Harry Styles!"

Harry emerges from behind the stage holding his own wireless mic as much of the crowd screams - he may not be a country artist, but he was absolutely known worldwide. You step back with a wave of your arm, smiling as he begins the next chorus. His performance is for the crowd but he's singing the words directly to you. 

"Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes, tingle running through my bones," he sings, voice smooth like whiskey, and the crowd adores him, eating out of the palm of his hand. "The boys and the girls are in, I mess around with them, and I'm OK with it." 

You can't help but dance as he sings, his voice and the energy of the crowd propelling you to move. He watches you, eyes no longer on the crowd, as he sings the next lines. Immediately, heat pools low in your belly at his glance and the words. 

"I'm coming down, I figured out I kinda like it. And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you…"

You gyrate your hips at the unsung line of "ride it", listening with a sly grin as some in the crowd scream the two words that go unsung. 

///

After giving him a key, Harry had moved some of his clothes to your apartment in Nashville some time while you were away on the first leg of your tour. He had found the city to be incredibly welcoming and inspirational for his upcoming album and had decided to stay there for a spell while you continued to tour around the country. 

You had scheduled a short break between your concerts over New Years, wanting to be able to grab at least one or two nights at home with him to celebrate the holiday before you were back on the road again. 

"So fucking glad you're home," Harry panted, pulling your shirt over your head before attaching his lips to yours once again. "Missed you like crazy."

"Missed you too," you moaned as his lips moved downwards, across your neck and over your collarbones, down the valley between your breasts. Before he could reach around to unhook your bra, you reached for his shirt, as desperate as he was to see and touch what you'd been missing. 

As he pulled the half-unbuttoned blouse over his head, you pulled your leggings off and reached for him, pushing him back onto the bed behind him. He unbuttoned his pants as he scooted up towards the middle of the bed, shoving them and his boxers off in one swoop. 

You climbed on top of him, hurriedly reaching to kiss him as you rubbed your clothed center along the length of his hard cock. 

"Fuck," he hissed, throwing his head back to allow you room to kiss his neck. "Desperate aren't you, darling?"

"Want you so bad it hurts," you whispered, sucking a bright hickey right where it would absolutely be seen by anyone.

You moved to continue kissing down his chest but he stopped you with a hand under your arm. "Not gonna last long, love. Wanna be inside you."

His cheeks and chest were flushed bright red, lips puffy and pupils blown wide. This was when you loved him most, being able to have him like no one else did. The same feeling always hit you at certain moments, particularly ones of domesticity, like when you watched him back the car out of the driveway or when he stood in the kitchen in the morning in nothing but socks, boxers, and his ratty old robe, singing along to old big band jazz as he waited for the coffee to brew. There was Harry Styles the musician, Harry Styles the actor, and Harry Styles the performer, but then there was your Harry. 

"Yeah, okay," you sighed, moving off of him quickly to remove your bra and panties. You climbed back onto the bed and threw your leg over his hips, straddling him. He immediately reached for you and pulled you flush against his chest, his lips capturing yours in a bruising kiss. 

You rocked your hips against him as he held you, your slick arousal gliding along his length, drawing a moan from both of you. 

"Baby, please," he panted, and you could only mod in agreement, lost already to the sweeping feeling of your close release. 

His hands rested on your hips as you positioned him at the entrance between your legs. You groaned in harmony as you worked down him slowly, the only sound in the room was your shared heavy breathing and gasps. 

"Fuck me," he sighed as you set a slow pace, rocking on top of him to reach each spot that you know will get you there. 

"Workin' on it," you grin. A quick swivel of your hips hit at just the right angle and you tossed your head back, repeating the movement over and over again until you shuddered with a final snap of tension, your orgasm rolling over you as Harry helped you move, hands tight on your hips, to wring all you could from the release. 

"You look so beautiful right now, like a fuckin' angel," Harry said, voice low and gravely, accent thick with need. 

"How's that line go?" you said as you slowed down, smirking when a harsh rock of your hips caused Harry to moan. "'Turns out she's a devil in between the sheets'?"

"Fuck," he groaned again, eyes closed tightly. "Can't just go reciting my own lyrics to me while I"m buried in ya like this, love."

"And there's nothing you can do about it," you continued, singing the line of his song this time, and his hips buck up into yours harshly.

"You're gonna pay for that," he had said, quoting another of his songs, before he had flipped you over onto your back and set his own brutal pace.

///

Like he can read your thoughts, Harry beams and wags a finger in your direction and the crowd screams at your chemistry together. You grab your mic from its stand and take a step towards Harry to sing the chorus together.

"If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive." Harry dances off to the side of the stage, performing once again for the crowd. 

You dance at center stage with your wireless mic, too excited about performing with Harry that you can't stand in one spot. The music and Harry's energy make you want to move. "You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it." 

"We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh! La da da da da!" Harry throws his head back, singing along in his own world and you can't look away from him. He really was a rockstar and getting to share the stage with him like this was an experience you'd never forget. 

"You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"

There's a great pause in the lyrics where the guitar, keyboard, and drums play together, increasing the tension of the song. You and Harry take off towards opposite ends of the stage, both reveling in the performance for the crowd as you dance and stomp to the beat. Eventually, with a slide down the keys of the keyboard, the instrumental quiets into just the steady beat of the bass line joined by the hi-hats. 

You and Harry urge the crowd to clap along as you both return to the middle of the stage to sing together once again. He always said that this portion of the song was one of his favorites to perform, the repeated line from the bridge ending abruptly with the lights going out before flashing back on, the added theatrics of the performance elevating the climax of the song completely. Having rehearsed that Harry would sing the following chorus alone, you let yourself get lost in his gaze as it settles on you.

You stand facing one another behind the mic stand, once again singing more to one another rather than to the crowd. You step closer towards him as the lyrics progress, nearly chest to chest now with your voices sharing one another's mics. "I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm—"

Before you can sing the last word of the line and the lights can blink out as rehearsed, Harry leans forwards and captures your mouth in a hungry kiss. The crowd erupts with screams as the lights above the stage go dark.

You can feel rather than hear him say the words "I love you" against your lips and you have just enough time to repeat them back to him before the drums and guitar pick the beat up once again, the lights flashing back on brightly. He moves away and continues to sing the chorus that follows as if nothing had happened. You're a bit stunned, not having prepared for his relationship-revealing public display of affection to happen during your performance of his song but it was perfect and he knows it. Your smile is wide and you can't help but stand rooted where you are and laugh at what has just finally happened.

"If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive," he sings, smirking at you while you blush across from him. 

You join him in singing the last lines, your right hand joining his left hand where everyone can see your fingers entwine. 

"You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it. We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh!"

You urge the crowd with a waving hand to join in and they do, singing along with you and Harry. "La da da da da! You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh!"

The drums and guitar end the song on five quick beats and the crowd erupts once again in screams. You immediately jump towards Harry, throwing your arms around his neck in a close embrace. His hands wrap around your waist to hold you close, and you can feel him smile where his face is pressed close to your jaw.

"How was that?" he asks, chuckling against you.

"It was perfect, you're perfect. Thank you, H. For everything."

"Can take you on a proper date now, yeah? Wanna show my girl off to the world."

"Yes, please!" You can't wipe the smile from your face as he sets you down and Harry continues to beam at you as the crowd continues screaming, reeling from your shared performance. 

Harry nudges you gently before turning back to them, lifting his and your arms high in the air and leading you in bending for a bow. He steps away from you and turns, opening his arms wide to you for the crowd to praise and you laugh, tearing up at his gesture and the overwhelming emotions of the performance while you take another bow just for yourself. 

He pulls you into another hug and you can't help but angle your face up towards him, wordlessly asking for another very quick, very public kiss.

He glances down at you, smiling. "You're gonna love this now, aren't you?"

"Course I am. love showing them you're mine."

He leans down to peck your forehead, your nose, and finally, your lips, as the crowd goes wild. "Love showing them you're mine. You've got a show to finish, love. Go kill it."

///

Ahh! So much fun! This has been such a joy to write and I appreciate you taking the time to give it a chance! It’s my first (of hopefully many) Harry fics - reading all of the stories here has been immensely inspiring, and I’m so looking forward to writing more!

Tagging my love @morganlatte​ who is a wonderful hype woman and beta reader. Thanks buddy!

Anyways! Thank you for reading! My love language is words of affirmation (aka I have a praise kink) so leave me a comment here if you feel so inclined!

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust (Role Reversal) HC

Author’s Note: Thank you anon who asked me about this cause OH BOY! My last Peter HC was utter trash but I love this one!! Hope you guys like it!!!! This idea was so fun and when I started Lovedust, I was going to make it this way but decided that Peter falling in love with you was just *chefs kiss* perfect

- So! We all know (for the most part) how Peter is when he absorbs the lovedust BUT what if the roles were reversed 

- Lets rewind shall we? bLooPyBlIpziPzaPZoOp

- Right so lets kick it off to when you start to regain consciousness after touching the lovedust 

-Peter is panicking right beside you and making sure you haven’t broken anything or cracked your head open like it was a watermelon 

-and you’re just staring up at him with those freaking puppy dog eyes as he’s looking back at you like what's up little bud, got a staring problem?

-Deadass the first thing that comes out of your mouth is “I don’t know what’s wrong with me Peter but have I ever told you how much I love it when you say my name”

-And peter is like tf this bitch just say? Cause remember yall, seconds ago you were threatening to kill him PLUS Peter doesn’t even know what the dust is he just thinks you were gonna explode 

-now he really thinks you have a concussion so he’s checking your head again and you literally melt into his hand as he cups the side of your face

-all you can focus on was how brown his eyes actually are and without a second thought you just straight up tell him 

-“ jesus your eyes are so brown like soooo brown do you even know how brown they are? Like a beautiful chocolate brown like how authors say it in books- god my chest hurts- fuck I can’t even stop to think my mouth is literally just going- my heart is gonna burst open literally-I’m in love with you Peter Parker” 

-PETER GETS SO FREAKING FLUSTERED! LIKE WHAAAAAA

-He’s looking around to make sure he isn’t being pranked like cut the cameras, deadasss

- he isn’t even sure how to respond but thank goodness your dad and Banner and the other Avengers show up like why are these two teenagers wet 

- It takes an hour to explain to Peter what the lovedust is and every time, Peter doesn’t even believe it

- “So you’re telling me she loves.... my eyes?”

-” Oh my god- we’re saying she LOVES YOU. LOVE + DUST!” 

-and Peter is utterly shooketh because as many times as he’s dated, he wasn’t sure a girl actually loved him 

-as your dad and Banner are arguing, you are already cuddled up underneath Peter’s arm as his brain is trying to register what the hell is going on because the only time you two were ever this close was when you beat his ass for putting blue hair dye in your shampoo before homecoming 

-so days pass and you’re doing a shit job at trying to keep your mouth under control because your body was literally working against you

- If yall think Peter didn’t have a filter, then when the tables had turned, you were WAY WORSE

- “ Your arms are so big how are they so big can you just hold me for a second?”

-” UHm I don’t think your dad would want me to do that but I can give you a hug”

- “ Have I ever told you how good you smell? Like I just want to tuck my face into your neck forever like an oxygen mask”

-” wut? UhM here you can have my hoodie it kinda smells like me”

-” Peter, what do you think about starting a family with me?”

-” ASGJFK You mean riGhT now? Like, here in the kitchen?” 

- Everything was worst than how it was for Peter and you weren’t exactly why but the only thing that ever helped the pain was physically being close to him 

- at night, you would toss and turn and you could feel your senses dial-up so everything was extra hot, extra bright, extra loud and the pain was EXTRA excruciating 

-one night the pain was so bad you knocked on Peter's bedroom door and pouted 

-”Can I sleep with you?” 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

- and Peter’s teenage boy mind just shuts down

-” GAH um I think we should wait until you’re actually in the right state of mind to take it to the next level like that PLUS I don’t have any protection-”

-” I meant can I sleep in your bed for tonight” even though you were totally down for his suggestion 

-dont look at me like that in yall wanna get down with Peter

-Peter mentally pushes himself off of a cliff but secretly lets you into his room because BOI if Tony found out that you two were in the same bed, lovedust or not, he would MURDER PETER

-he gets you settled and decides he’s going to sleep on the floor because he respects women like it’s his goddamn job but when he offers, you literally look like you’re going to bust out into tears 

-so okay new plan Peter sleeps next to you but puts a pillow in between the two of you just in case any unnecessary contact happens 

- but you’re still being a baby about it so Peter agrees to move the pillow but he tells you that cuddling is off the table

-” This is already kinda weird and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable so just stay on your side of the bed okay Y/N?”

- but you’re already knocked out so Peter is like phew

-for most of the night, he is looking up at the ceiling as you’re snoring quietly beside him and his heartbeat hasn’t slowed down since you knocked on his door

-a girl has NEVER been in Peter’s bed before but he kinda doesn’t mind? He can feel your body heat coming and it makes him so sleepy 

-it was comforting knowing that you were in less pain now that you were beside him and the thought made Peter flustered 

-but before his eyes shut, you kinda just roll over and now you're tucked into his chest and Peter’s body shuts down for the millionth time

-he wants to move you off of him, not because it’s uncomfortable but because he feels like he’s taking advantage of the situation 

-he would never want you to feel like you weren’t under complete control so he does the gentlemen thing and kinda slides you off of him

-but you’re holding on tight like a damn koala so after a few minutes, he kinda has the mentality of when a dog falls asleep in your lap 

-like you can’t get up and wake the dog cause duh morals so Peter just lays there next to you

-he’s literally trying to fight off his sleepiness but after a while, he just submits because he was exhausted 

-it isn’t until the morning when Peter wakes up before you to see that his arm had draped over your body while sleeping and yall were practically 

-S P O O N I N G 

-and he’s panicking and he tries to get up slowly but you turn your body to face him and you bury your face into his chest

-”just five more minutes please?” 🥺

-your sexy sleepy voice mixed with Peter being half awake made everything even worse 

-Peter wasn’t even under the lovedust but he was completely whipped for you and goddamn it, how could he say no to that face 

-Peter could feel how tired you were as he held you and he knew how much pain you were in. In his head, he wasn’t sure if you would do the same if the roles were reversed but either way, Peter felt that it was the right thing to do 

-Peter decides to pull you closer and a part of him wishes he could hold you forever 

@eridanuswave​ @juliet-winterson​ @akacalumtrash​ @ilovepeterparker13​

@parkerboop​ @juliebean247​ @multi-fan-lover​ @ffffan-----girlll @lukesbabylon​

@danicarosaline​ @parkeret​ @marvel4geeks​ @hollander69​ @spideyyeet​ @spn-assemble-seven​ @vibraniumdaisies​ @spaghetittiesbcimgay​ @vi-bi-bye

@lemonsnips​ @aduky​ @faithfullcompanion​ @stopthemotherfuckingmusic

@satellitespidey @foreverpark​ @marvelobsessedteenager​ @deadpoetsbackup

@zalladane​ @starcourt-s​ @parkersinfinitywar​ @stargazingcarol​ @littlesugarb​

@itsteph13​ @jennasmmith​ @liljennyx3​ @harryspet​  @todaynotseen @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​  @tiny-friggin-human @popluckbih    niiight-dreamerrrr     sovereignparker  marie-is-in-the-darkbuckyboy-soldier   maia030   parkershoco wolverinesbeer   cherrysruin  sunkissdes  kiainspace  songofcosplay spideylovin write-from-the-heart  thatcrazywhovian09  eternallyvenus thollandxmsrawog  idiosadeoro  imawkwardandhereweare foundwolvesthequeen-oni silverwolf-sama  inspiring-bea multiversegalaxygirl lastupidebitchette idekwho1am

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[sucuretcannelle]

I will pay the person who goes through the dub, finds quotes and matches them with the anon it fits best... I'll pay you $150

I'm too lazy so I mostly did eggman

----

Prompt:

"Tails, listen to me. I know who your mother is and— *dies*"

"Martha, what have you been tweeting about...WHAT THE FUCK, IS THAT SHADOWS DICK?"

"Why is my body doing this thing? I'm like a puppet on a string bririrbbriri you see that? Look at that!"

Noodles:

"Shoot me, you fucking coward. Do it! You won't! I have no reason to live anymore."

"I am going to kill you..........and then kill you again."

Al:

"You have 13 seconds till the island fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch. You have done nothing but destroy my life and I hope you both die."

"If you say please stop one more time, I'm going to piss my own ass."

"I peed on your wife robotnik, she's mine now."

Gabe:

"I gotta get on that plaAaNe 🏃‍♂️"

"Who is this red stripe mohawk—why you got hot sauce on your hair cuz, what's wrong?"

Writer:

"Get the fuck out or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fuckin face, I swear to gosh I'll do it you bitch, get out!"

"What the fuck— why does tails have the fucking weed?"

Citypop:

"I miss my wife, tails. I miss her a lot. I'll be back."

"Let me check her Twitter page on my holographics"

"Go ahead, I have 50 alternate accounts."

Watermelon:

"I put hot sauce on everything. From Twinkies to milk. It's what I do!"

Bella:

"I'm taking over Victoria's secret, I'm taking over best buy, the news is mine, and everyone else can leave. You see that planet? IM TAKING IT TOO! It looks like a fucking walnut— BOOM AND IT BUSTED A NUT THEN AND THERE"

"Hey bitchessss, didn't expect to see me?"

"YOU FOOL I HAVE 70 ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN!"

Cup:

"That's right little girl, I hate you and your stupid nose. I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone."

"I'm taking over your worlds, I'm taking your tv, I'm glitchin it! They call me the glitch, do you know why they call me the mother fuckin glitch? Cuz I glitch the tvs out."

"Get out of here you thotass bitch you still owe me $100 anyway, we need to go."

"I've come to make an announcement, shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife And he said his dick was 't h i s b i g' and i said 'thats disgusting' so I'm making a call out post on my Twitter.com, 'shadow the hedgehog you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like— that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like 2 balls and a bong..."

"—I'm gonna fuck the earth, this is what you geT MY SUPER LASER PISS. EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH, IM GONNA GO HIGHER, IM PISSING ON THE MOOOON"

Eyes:

"*struggling to remember the password to the twitter account*"

"I have no character motive 😔"

"What are you two fucking talking about?"

Cinna:

"aUUGH MY BONES! I know i shoulda— *intense coughing* WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

"AND SHE HAD A DIAMOND IN HER VAGINA?"

Orion:

"I hope you're ready to die it's gonna be like evangelion get the fuck out."

"...I fucked your wife 😐"

Atlas:

"ouch ouch ouch 😐"

"please stop, your mother would be very disappointed"

"as you can see, twitter went through a bunch of updates. This one, is that one that makes me go away from yo bitchass."

Nash:

"FUCK YOU MOON YOU NEVER HAD THE CHEESE I WANTED"

"Did you see that hot jpeg footage that just—"

Universal:

"You thought you were gonna escape and I knew you were gonna fart in here so I had to put up a fuckin seal!"

"Now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too."

Shrimp:

"Shadow! Get back here right now! Shadow! What the fuck?!"

"How do you think I feel about being cocked by a hedgehog!?"

Ikea:

"Don't gamble my life for a piss rock!"

"It's been 17 days, I'm still trying to get out of here"

Mary:

"So if I've had enough you took my wife, you fucked my crops, I'm takin ya life"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK MY WIFE"

That one anon:

"How did you know my middle name 😕"

🕳️:

"I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN! OH MY GOSH IM SO S I C K."

[tjlikesprettythings]

Joshua Tree Playlist-A Macriley Fic

So I’ve done it again, not sure what’s wrong with me or where this came from but enjoy my obsession. Thanks for the motivation and support from my other posts. I’m still waiting for my invite from Ao3 but wanted to share this monster with you guys. 

This fic was inspired by music that I thought fit the general tone of this story, so I decided to make a spotify playlist linked Joshua Tree Playlist hence the name. Now of course you guys don’t have to listen to it, I know we all have different preferences, but I would recommend listening to the last song by Dylan Schneider “Wannabe” so you get the full context of what I was trying to write. I also mention the songs that I recommend listening to. Well anyways Enjoy and do let me know what you think!

This is very long, just a heads up! Please let me know if I should continue writing. 

Joshua Tree Playlist

Chapter 1: Day 1

Mac sat on the deck after his run, another sleepless night. The nightmares felt more and more real each day. Looking out on the early morning LA skyline he felt like a stranger in his own life. There was so much anger in him that he didn’t know what to do with himself. The loss, the tragedy that was his life felt like a weight he couldn’t bear. He’d give anything to go back to that pressure chamber in Georgia again instead of this, at least things made sense then. He was spiralling, he was aware. Scrubbing his hands across his face he let another breath pass. He didn’t hear her coming but saw her shapely bronze legs standing in front of him dressed in khaki shorts and a black singlet one hand holding a backpack and the other on her hip. It was definitely early for her to be up, especially on an off day. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, “what’s up Riles?” 

“Get up, we’re going on a trip.” She simply said swinging the backpack at his feet. 

“What?” he was confused by the situation unfolding in front of him, maybe he was dreaming? 

She turned to walk back into the house, “You heard me Macgyver, get your ass in the car in 5!”

He stood up and swiped the backpack off the floor and chased after her. She was already in the truck sunglasses pulled down with her arm out of the window, fingers drumming against the door. “Riley.”

She nodded her head in the direction of the car, “come on, we haven’t got all day! Get in!”

He could have stood his ground but honestly, he was too tired to argue with her. So he threw his backpack in the back and got into the passenger seat. She started the car and connect her phone to the Bluetooth, a playlist called Joshua Tree Playlist that was curated by Riley Davis came on the on-screen deck. He discovered that Riley didn’t just listen to Beyonce, old school rap, and rock. Her music like her was multifaceted and ranged from what you’d expect to complete surprises. He even walked in on her listening to Harry Styles to which she had just shrugged and simply said “I’m confident in myself to like what I like, besides watermelon sugar is a tune.” But currently, she quickly scrolled and threw on Mumm-ra’s “Summer” the indie rock song had a classic indie bass and guitar combo as the intro, she shimmed her shoulders to the music. He couldn’t help but actually crack a smile at her antics. 

Her head turned to him then as she bopped to the music and gave him that brilliant smile lipping the words to the song “I’m only happy in the summer...I’m only happy with you, lover...” She was like a prism, all clear but as soon the light hit her she was vibrant colors and sounds. “Now that’s more like the Mac I know. Nice to have you back for a second.” 

Her words hit him fully, leave it to Riley to bring him back down to earth. To notice that he was struggling. He didn’t know what to say, so he opted for the next best thing. “Are you going to tell me where this semi-voluntary kidnapping is going?”

“Hey, no kidnapping vibes here. We’re taking a couple of days and chilling out. Matty already approved it. We have four days to ourselves. So we’re going on a road trip! Next stop Joshua Tree.” She simply stated as she drove down the hill and towards I-10E.

He widened his eyes and gave his head a shake, letting loose a chuckle he threw up his hand and let them slap his highs. “Ok! I’ll bite.” the brilliance of her smile made him feel like he made the right choice, the breeze already warm blew in through the open windows, the loose strands from her bun floating around her face. 

“Yea! Bozer is going to meet up with us there, he has an errand to run before. Unfortunately, Desi can’t make it, she’s on a mission.” she said sparing him a glance.

He shifted in his seat if he were honest, he was now just looking forward to spending time with her and Boz. “Yea, probably for the best.”

She didn’t say anything waiting for him to continue if he wanted to. The great thing about Riley was she pushed when there was something worth pushing for but otherwise gave him space to talk to her on his own time. Without saying it, he could feel her body asking him if he and Desi were ok.

“I’m not sure I’m what she needs right now.” He simply stated and the unstated that he probably didn’t need their complicated and messy relationship right now either. They were too volatile and while that gave spark to great sex, it left everything else scorched and untouchable. It wasn’t fair for Desi to be stuck with him while he was stuck in his head.

He watched Riley shift in her seat, lately, he noticed there was a strange distance between them but then here she was stealing him away as the old Riley would. Maybe four days would give him the answers to why he felt like she was slipping away slowly, the thought put such a tight feeling in his throat, he couldn’t lose one more person. Especially not Riley, not his amazing, smart, loyal, beautiful friend singing along to a cover of Billy Joel’s “Vienna”. Suddenly it was easy to smile again, it didn’t take all of his efforts. “Hey, did you pack my bag for me? Or am I gonna have to survive in these running clothes for four days?”

He didn’t think to change when she gave him 5 minutes to meet her at his truck.

“I got you, Mac, everything you need is in there boy! Why would I give you an empty backpack?” she tapped on with the music and threw him another smile. If the next few days were going to be filled with smiling Riley he was already glad she kidnapped him voluntarily.

“Did you go through my underwear and sock drawers?!” He asked narrowing his eyes and laughing as a soft blush spread across her cheeks, Riley Davis can be bashful what do you know. 

“I mean we’re all adults here, no need for this juvenile behaviour. Yes, I packed your undies and socks.” He could see her rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses, but he was amused by the blush that graced her face. Mac always thought Riley was attractive, men and women constantly commented on her beauty. Her looks helped them with countless ops. He wasn’t blind, just looked past the obvious. She was his friend, Jack’s daughter, and a relationship he couldn’t sacrifice. But these moments when they’re alone and he could look at her and steal glances he saw just how gorgeous she was as a being. 

They had become closer the past couple of years for sure, he felt completely at ease with her. Could talk to her about anything, seek her counsel about things that were on his mind. She usually could read him already ready to jump into whatever stupid situations he got himself into. Even now he couldn’t believe that she followed him into Codex. She had told him she trusted him, and he felt like he could breathe just from those words. Knowing she stood with him gave him the strength to follow through. 

They stopped for coffee and bagels, laughing about the guy in front of them that took ages to order. They made fun of a couple of housewives of Beverly hills type and how Bozer would’ve recognized who they are. It was just easy his mind kept saying to him. When he pointed to a smidge of cream cheese in the corner of her mouth, she attempted to licked it away with her tongue, he couldn’t help but gulp down some of his iced coffee and watch her miss it. Reaching over he brushed the side of her lips and without thinking licked his thumb clean. She froze for a second and looked at him with an intensity that he couldn’t read. “You were struggling” he shrugged. 

“Thanks,” was all she said with an almost shy smile, unaware of course of how that small act sent fire all over her. She was thankful that she was on her last bite and he was already finished with his bagel, now casually leaning back in his chair letting the sun warm his face, his golden hair casting a halo around him. She needed to run away, “ready to start the journey again?”

Smiling he stood, they took their unfinished coffee and bottles of water with them. For the next 15 minutes, they joked about the new episodes of Rick and Morty, as more of her playlist played in the background, glancing at the screen he saw the current song was “Good Life” by Randell Kent. The lyrics washing over him as they finally pulled into the expressway. This could be a good life, at least it felt that way right now. 

They passed the next 15 minutes in silence, but it was the kind they had often where it was just comfortable. They didn’t feel the need to fill the void. They just listened to music and watched the road and let their minds wander.

She hummed along with the new song that came on, he never noticed that she had a pretty nice singing voice. “...don’t overthink it...just surround me...hmm” LÉON's "Surround Me" played in the car. He leaned against his window and watched her quietly.  “Why don’t you take a nap, I know you didn’t sleep much last night. We’ve got another 2-hour drive ahead of us.” She finally says to him softly turning the music down a bit and rolling up the windows opting for the ac.

Of course, she noticed, it wasn’t a big secret that he had been spiralling out of control. He wasn’t sleeping or eating well, his mind obsessing over Codex. But now there was nothing but a jumbled mess of things and just pure grief and exhaustion left behind in the aftermath. Strangely enough, he actually felt ok enough to take her up on the offer, she made him feel safe. Knowing she was going to be here when he opened his eyes brought a feeling of comfort and peace he was struggling to have, it was like the darkness couldn’t get to him. “Yeah ok.”

He drifted and for the first time in a long time found sleep came quickly and a dreamless sleep took him over. No nightmares, just soft hum engulfed him. It was when he felt warm fingers on his cheek brushing back some hair did he open his eyes and came face to face with Riley’s hazel eyes and full lips. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light. “Hey,” she said softly. 

“Hey, are we here already?” He asked sitting up, it didn’t escape his mind that he didn’t mind that Riley was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, it never did but he filed it away with any other thoughts that ever came into his mind about her that seemed more than friendly behaviour. 

She stepped away from him and cleared her throat and nodded, “yea, we’re here. I’m glad you got some sleep” she smiled again. She was entranced with watching him sleep, she almost didn’t want to wake him, he was beautiful, soft and so vulnerable in this moment. She knew how much he was struggling, which made her predicament even more complicated. How could she tell him she would be moving out? Instead, her brilliant idea was to steal him away for a few days. She was playing with fire, but she also knew that as strong as he was, any more change might send him over the edge. She decided she’ll tell him about her move after this trip, but her priority will always be to protect him, her heart can deal with it. 

His own faced turned up, “yeah I guess I needed it, and who knew what I needed was you humming off-key to songs in the background to fall asleep.” She swallowed and told her heart to stop its stupid summersaults. 

“I’ll make you some tracks and make sure they’re extra off-key! I’ll be your white noise” she said quickly teasing back. 

“My very own ghost.” his eyes crinkling in the corners. This was the most she’s seen him smile in a while. 

Rolling her eyes and doing a mock laugh “careful or I will haunt your ass for real” to which she got full dimples, this was going to be four long days.

“Ok so I got us a house actually” she cheekily said pointing at the well-maintained terra cotta colored house they were parked in front of on top of a hill surrounded by sky and desert landscapes with cacti and boulders, the house faced the road below that brought them into town. The front porch had a couple of lounge chairs, a table for four, a couple of lanterns neatly hung around the arches and a small pathway that led to a circular covering what he deduced was the hot tub. There were shrubs and succulents neatly planted around the house giving some green to the otherwise very warm hue of the area. 

Mac looked around and already his head felt lighter under the sky that just seemed bluer here, probably because the air pollution was nonexistent here. He sheepishly said, “I kinda thought we’d be camping,” rubbing the back of his neck, “but the house looks nice.”

“Listen, we can camp I bought everything, but we can also stay in this awesome house with a hot tub, pool, and functioning toilets and showers.” she shrugged tucking her hands into the back pockets of her shorts. “What can I say, I’m a city gal and honestly we do ‘camp’ a lot for work.”

He shook his head lightly, “yeah I guess you got a point there,” thinking of all of the times they did camp out without any real equipments. “You thought of everything huh?” He asked softly taking her in fully. “Thanks, Riles.” watching her smile and nod made his heart feel warm, a feeling he’s been missing for a while.

As if on cue Bozer pulled up behind them. Riley’s smiled widen. Mac turned towards the car and he thought he was seeing a ghost. Then he heard the familiar sound of a Texan drawl. He turned to Riley wide-eyed and then back at where Bozer stepped out of the car with a shit-eating grin and next to him was none other than Jack Dalton. 

“How’s it going hoss!” He waved with a laugh as he approached Mac and took his hand and pulled him into a hug.

“Jack! Man, it’s so good to see you.” Mac said hugging the older man hard, he felt his eyes water just a bit.

Jack pat his back and pulled away smiling, “it’s good to see you too, kid.”

“Yeah, the OG gang is back together” Bozer claimed jumping with excitement.  

Jack turned to Riley and embraced her, “Hey baby girl!” Pulling her off the ground as she shrieked with laughter. Riley held onto Jack for a moment longer before releasing him and smiling, she didn’t hide the tears that were softly rolling down her face now. 

“I’m so glad to have you back.” She said softly. Jack brushed away tears from her cheek and nodded. 

“Me too.” he turned to look at his crew and smiled at the kids that somehow came to mean the world to him. “So we ready for this crazy weekend or what?!” his arm still around Riley. 

“Hell yeah!” exclaimed Bozer already heading to the trunk of his car to grab his and Jack’s bags. 

Mac just stood dumbfounded for a second taking in the 3 most important people in his life and finally feeling something, he’s been so scared that something in him was shifting but seeing them here smiling at him brought back the warmth he felt has been slowly seeping away. “Thank you, guys.”

“Come on man, we’re family,” Bozer said squeezing his shoulder. 

“You always got us,” Jack added a giant grin. “Alright now, let’s get settled and decide what we’re doing. I’m craving a cold one for sure!” He said picking up his bag.

Riley on cue walked over to the door and pressed in the security code into the door handle and opened up the door. “Welcome to the digs boys, we’ve got the living room” pointing to the right, “the master bedroom just past there as well as the second bedroom. Just ahead is the dining room and kitchen, around the hall to the left we have the other two bedrooms and bathroom. Laundry room and back porch with the grill AND pool. You saw the fire pit and hot tub in the front of the house.” she said sweeping both her arms around the house that was meant to be their home for the next four days. 

“Damn Riley! You did good!” Bozer said as he scanned the house, decorated with a mix of modern and country house feel. Walking over to the kitchen he hummed in approval, “I can work with this! I’m gonna grab the groceries!” he bounced back out the door. 

Jack gave a whistle of approval, “man, after the places I’ve been sleeping in, I’m gonna sleep like a baby!” as he went around ducking into rooms and giving his approval.

Mac didn’t care much about the house but did agree it was a nice one with all the comforts of home. 

Riley suddenly stood in front of him and gave him a warning “Macgyver don’t use any part of this house, I would like to get my deposit back.” He laughed holding up both hands in agreement. 

Jack turned the attention back to the group, “ok kids whose taking what room?”

“Riley should have the master,” Mac said right away. Jack did jokingly protest that he’s the one who’s been sleeping on rubbles and jungle floors. Bozer bounced into one of the bedrooms to the right, jack decided to take the bedroom next to Bozer. Which left him and Riley to the right side of the house. “Masters all yours.”

She smiled, “umm you sure you don’t want it?” to which he shook his head, all of the bedrooms where sizeable with queen beds and dressers, it honestly didn’t matter and being the only girl they didn’t mind giving her the room with space and vanity table so she can paint her face as jack put it to which she rolled her eyes. “So there is the bathroom down the hall next to the other bedrooms but one here on our side the bathroom is actually in the master, so feel free to use it if you need it. The shower in there looks amazing!” She said nervously.

He smiled “yea ok.” He helped her unpack the car and bring her bag into her bedroom. He looked around “maybe I should take this room,” which earned him a light shove at his shoulder and he chuckled. 

“Too late it’s mine now. Ok! So I say we get changed grab some lunch and chill for a bit while we plan the next few days.” She laid out the plans looking up at him both hands on her hips and she stretched forward towards him. That familiar hammering came back in her chest, the next thing she knows he’s embracing her. “Mac…”

He just needed to be close to her just for a second, releasing her from the embrace he softly said, “I just...I know I said thank you, but really, thank you.”

She held onto his biceps and squeezed them, ignoring the way that made her feel she just smiled at him “hey what are friends for if not to kinda kidnap you for a mini-vacation.” He laughed and she decided that was her favorite sound. Letting her hands fall to her side, “go get settled, I’m sure Boz will make us something to eat, I’m starving.”

He smiled once more and left her standing in the middle of her room feeling so many things. The next four days were going to be the hardest four days of her life she reminded herself again. She survived two years in prison, she’ll be fine, she hoped. Taking a deep breath she walked into the kitchen where she could already hear Jack and Bozer. 

Bozer was laying out sandwich meats and cheese he had picked up while swatting Jack’s hands away from stealing slices of the cold cuts. She felt a bit emotional seeing them goofing around, something about Jack being home made her feel like everything was going to be ok, that Mac would be ok and she would have the strength to get over what was currently happening to her in regards to Mac.

“Some things never change.” She heard Mac say softly now changed into a pair of trousers t-shirt and button-down. “Thanks for the clothes you picked out, I don’t think I could have picked better.”

Again she felt her face warm, what the hell was wrong with her. She couldn’t recall a time that she felt this affected. Usually, with guys she had found attractive, it was always coyness and subtle flirting but never did something so simple trigger this kind of response. She chalked it up to the heat even though the state of the art thermostat read a cool 70°. “Yea, of course, you’re welcome. And I’m glad that some things don’t change.”

Mac looked down at her, he agreed but maybe some things changing wouldn’t be too bad. Pulling up the chair at the kitchen island, they took the beers Jack handed them one by one raising his bottle “it’s good to be home, cheer!” They all clinked the bottles together and shouted cheers. Jack took a long swig off his beer, “Damn that’s good.” 

Mac couldn’t help but feel like he was transported back to a couple of years ago when things were simple and good. They saved lives and had fun. Everything seemed so much heavier and complicated these days. But right now at this moment, he felt the most present he’s felt in a year. 

“What are we having Boz, I’m starving!” Riley whined softly. 

“Girl I got you covered. I’m making a medley of sandwiches, you got a Cuban, prosciutto and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar and basil, and a BLT coming at you with my homemade mayo,” he said already working on prepping the bread with condiments. 

“Damn Bozer, have I missed your cooking!” said Jack with an excited glint in his eyes. 

“So I was thinking we take it easy for today don’t know about you guys but I could take a dip in that pool, we’ll start early morning for the hikes, if we want to camp tomorrow night we can, day 3 and 4 are open for whatever you guys want to do. We need to be back in LA by noon on monday.” Riley laid out the plans.

“Pool party, I’m in,” Jack said nodded seriously. 

“Me too! I can’t remember the last time I just had a day to do whatever I wanted.” Bozer said thoughtfully while working on their lunch.

“Yea, it’s been a lot going on hasn’t it.” He said picking at the beer bottle label. The room fell into silence for a moment, each reviewing the events of the past year if not longer. They lost so much as a collective but Mac and the most. 

Jack took another sip finishing off his beer and shook his head, “Nah, we’re here to have fun, let’s focus on that.” grabbing one of the pickles that Boze laid out, Bozer gave him a side-eye but said nothing. “This weekend we’re gonna unwind and be thankful for this beautifully weird place. Nothing is blowing up, no one is shooting at us, the worst thing will be the hangovers and food comas,”

Riley and Bozer both collectively knocked on the wood of the kitchen island, “don’t jinx it!”

To which Mac proceeded to explain that ‘jinx’ wasn’t a scientifically proven, and went into a ramble about logic. It wasn’t until he noticed all three of his friends smiling affectionately at him that he stopped dropped him head mouth curving into a smile. He knocked on the wood too just in case.

                                                         II

Twenty minutes later Bozer served them his masterpieces as he called them, and they all agreed that they were works of art. Jack had caught them up as much as he could on his mission with the deltas and catching Kovac, leaving the classified information out. It seems so natural that they wouldn’t give details, that they understood that somethings they could never talk about again. 

Finishing off his third sandwich Jack stood to plug his phone to charge “can you believe this phone lasted me almost 2 years?!” 

To which Mac rolled his eyes but his mouth still twitched upwards. “I can’t help that a phone has key components for most builds.”

“Yeah you left and it became either me or Riley. I feel like it was mostly me though.” Bozer said pouting. 

“Appreciate you picking up the slack, I already upgraded my insurance just in case.” Jack pointed at Mac. To which Boze and Riley hollered. 

Mac held up his hand and shook his head, “hey man I promise if I don’t need it, I won’t ask for it.” 

“Alright, Alright let’s get to the pool!” Jack said already pulling his shirt over his head. “Riley throw on some tunes, preferably something country or rock or close to my generation that we can all enjoy.”

It was Riley’s turn to roll her eyes, “don’t worry old man, I got us all covered. A bit of Brooks and Dunn, a bit of Ozzy,  a bit of Technotronic, a little Beyonce, and of course Drake for Bozer.”

Mac’s face squinted into lines. “Wait is Techtronic for me? Or is Beyonce for me?”

She laughed, “guess you’ll just have to find out, though I do recall you know the lyrics to at least one of Techtronic’s’ song.” her own eyes squinting to tease him. “Alright, I’m gonna go change, be right back.”

“Yeah ok fair enough, but only cause it was on the radio…saved your booty,” she heard him mumble as she passed him patting his shoulder. 

The guys were already set up by the pool when she walked out. Bozer managed to find a pool floaty from where they didn’t know and mildly suspected he might have packed the one that he was currently laying on and enjoying the sun. Mac and Jack sat next to each other with their feet in the water.

“I’m sorry about your old man.” Jack finally said softly. 

Mac’s lips pulled into a line before he sighed and looked down at the beer bottle in his hand “yea, as it turns out its hard to be mad at a guy that always chose the utilitarian method. He sacrificed himself, I wish I could just be sad or just angry but how I feel is just…” he didn’t know himself.

“Hey man, I get it. I know what it’s like to lose a father. No matter who and how he was as a person, he was still your dad.” Jack said placing a hand on Mac’s shoulder and giving a light squeeze. “But you know I‘m here if you gotta sort through all the jumbled mess in your head. I’ll be your sounding board.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that” He did appreciate it, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to, let alone where to start to untangle the mess that his life became. He was brought out of his brooding when Bozer whistled loudly.

“Damnnnnn Riley!” to which Jack knocked him off his floaty, when he resurfaced drawing water away from his face he whined, “I was just paying her the compliment she deserves!”

Mac knew that Riley had an amazing body, her tight jeans and crop tops proved this countless time if not by the countless gowns and tight dresses she had to wear for ops, but they’d never seen her in a bikini in the four years of working together. He swallowed hard and pretended not to stare, but it was hard when she was all bronze and glowing, toned abs and round hips, her smile radiant even if her eyes held a teasing annoyance at the attention. It suddenly felt hotter than 89°. 

Jack knew better than to tell her to cover up, and he knew that he could trust these guys but still, he pouted about her lack of clothing. “Jack, what do you want me to wear to the pool, a potato sack?”

“No, but...never mind!” he just mumbled. 

She shook her head, but she was trying to distract herself from the fact that Mac had looked at her hard, their eyes locked for a second and she could’ve sworn she saw something there, the way his adam’s apple bobbed make her skin tingle. She decided that she’d read it as a compliment. 

The rest of the afternoon passed with a game of pool volleyball, naps here and there or reading, Riley’s playlist playing in the background. Memories being solidified to sounds, smells, and feelings. She chided them to apply sunscreen and even offered to help with their backs. 

“Riley not sure if you’re aware but I’m black,” Bozer said to her proudly.

“So? Black people burn too and are you trying to get cancer?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Deflated he shook his head no and sat down. One by the one they gave up the protests as she threw savage shade at them. She applied a boatload of sunscreen just cause they gave her a hard time and decided to snap some pictures as well for blackmail of course.

Mac was last and sat in front of her as she steeled herself and slowly applied the sunscreen to the back of his neck, the hair at his nape tickling her fingers. She worked quickly and ran her fingers between his shoulder blades down his back. She felt him tense and worked faster. As much as she enjoyed being able to touch him like this, it was also inappropriate. He didn’t know about her feelings, and she felt sleazy as if she were taking advantage of a friend. Closing the bottle cap shut, she lightly tapped his shoulders, “done, now you don’t have to be an embarrassing lobster.” She weakly cracked.

He wasn’t new to attraction, or the body’s response to the said attraction. He didn’t expect to be so affected by her fingers running down his back, her nails making a slow trail that left him imagining those nails digging into his back for a completely different reason. He cleared his throat, “thanks, wouldn’t want that.”  he managed as he looked over his shoulder. Fuck him, she was adorable as she chewed her bottom lip and nodded. Ok, maybe four days of this Riley was going to be a challenge.

                                                        II

Around later afternoon everyone decides to shower and get ready for the evening, agreeing to head into town and grabbing dinner there. They decided with the drinks they’ve had best to grab an Uber into town. The awkwardness of the poolside sunscreen still fresh as they piled into the car. It was a short ride but felt long as Riley sat squeezed between Mac and Bozer. Bozer just grinned, of course, him knowing her feeling about Mac was going to be her downfall. When they were dropped off, She felt like she had been holding her breath for hours.

“You ok?” Mac asked her to which she nodded.

“Yep, just need a drink!” His brows raised and he seconded that feeling because he definitely could use one.  

Walking around the old Pioneer town setup, Mac explained different tools and contraptions that were displayed around the old buildings from the 1800s, Jack dazzled them with stories about Texas that either made no sense or was inaccurate according to Mac, Bozer, and goggle. They decided to have dinner at Pappy and Harriet’s Pioneertown Palace, where the smell of barbecue wafted through the warm evening air, They could hear the bustle of music and glasses clinking. Bozer was already rushing in to get them a table saying something about getting his hands on some ribs. Jack hollered that he has to see if this place is as good as Texas barbecue.  

Mac looked down at Riley as her eyes sparkled with excitement the earlier awkwardness finally forgotten. Even though they’ve been everywhere in the world, this place had her vibrating. “I never knew you were a fan of the country life.”

She laughed, “I don’t know, I didn’t think that I was either, but there is something about this place that just, I dunno gets me kinda hyped.”

“Hey, guys they have a table for us!” Bozer shouted over the live music and chatter. Apparently they came on open mic night and the local dentist was doing this rendition of Hank Williams’ “all my rowdy friends” and killing it. The energy was just infectious.

They sat down as Bozer rubbed his hands together, “I already know this is gonna be the bomb. I mean can you smell that hickory?!”

“Hell yea I can!” Jack chimed in.

Mac smiled at his best friends, Bozer and Jack were always bouncing off each other in any room the three of them were in, but since Riley came into the picture they’re better behaved. They listen to song after song and the cheers of the crowd as they ate. Jack approved and hummed in appreciation. 

“I’ve missed this, the good ole USA, bbq, and country blues.” 

“Every song is about beer, a truck, a woman, but man is it catchy” Bozer stood busting out his moves as he called it. 

“Jack, it makes sense you should feel right at home at this place.” She said with eyes twinkling. 

Mac took a swig of his beer and chuckled, “This whole place is Jack if he were a bar, maybe throw in some Black Sabbath and ACDC in and you have Jack.”

Jack grinned and nodded, “ok, ok, you’re not wrong. I’m totally digging this place.” His eyes finding the eyes of a pretty blonde at the bar.

“Classic...” She agreed, crinkling her nose up in that adorable way when she found something slightly distasteful, thought Mac. For a moment they took the time to acknowledge the man who became a father to them both with affection. If they ever have to thank someone for their sincerity they could claim Jack as one of the big influencers. They’re musing was broken by Bozer shouting,

“Guys come on lets dance, how often do we get to do this anymore?” Bozer ushered them onto the dance floor. He already found himself a couple of dance partners. Ph.D. in partying Bozer was out tonight. 

It was true, they didn’t do these things anymore. Things haven’t been the same for a while. It’s only been about a year and yet he felt like his whole world shifted. An avalanche of shit hit him. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Jack jumped up and was already making a beeline for the woman at the bar. They could hear a vague “how you doing?”

Mac and Riley just rolled their eyes and joined Bozer on the dance floor as the new performer of the night decided to sing Shania Twain “Man, I Feel like a woman.” As soon as they joined Bozer, of course, within minutes Riley was stolen away for a dance. Mac was happy to watch her, the joy finally reaching her eyes today. Maybe they all needed this, a moment to stop and appreciate their lives. 

He liked seeing her like this, Riley was always fun to be around. But right now she was everything he thought to himself, everything about her made his heart feel full. Finishing his beer off, he decided that he wanted to be the one to dance with his friend. The more he played with the word, somehow it didn’t seem enough anymore to call her that.

“Can I steal her for this dance?” he asked not really waiting for an answer already pulling her close to him. “You good?” looking to make sure he wasn’t misreading the situation.

She looked up at him and nodded, “yeah, I’m good.” looking down at their joined hands, it was this hand-holding that started the thud in her chest in Germany, and here it was hammering away. She was so screwed. There was a part of her mind that asked her, why not? He’s not attached anymore, so why not? But she knew better, he didn’t need this right now. He didn’t need her feelings to complicate his life. Lost in her thoughts or the blues of his eyes she wasn’t sure which, she didn’t realize the music was changing as the next performer took stage and cheers were heard. 

The music changed to a slower one, something about it just seemed fitting and he’d watched her dance all night with other people but now it was his turn. He stepped up closer to her, her eyes on him as he took her hand and swayed with her. She laughed softly as they danced to a soft country song about a man who wanted to be a girl’s everything. How ironic.

“If you wanna be with a guy who's gonna bring you flowers A guy who's gonna talk on your phone for hours A guy who's gonna wanna hold the door for you When you wanna walkthrough A guy who's gonna pick you up A guy who's gonna take you out and make you Wanna get a little dressed up and get a little down”

She once told him that she wouldn’t mind a small town, the quiet, after all things they saw daily. He wondered if secretly she wanted to be one of those ‘girl next door’ country girl. He felt her warmth through the shirt she wore, his finger brushing the soft exposed skin of her midriff. It was like an electrical current ran through him, which was of course plausible and probably didn’t mean anything.

“I wanna be the guy with the roses Number on speed dial, ladies first, don't you know that's my style Hop into my truck I got plans We’ll head on down to Jimmy's and we'll do a little dance There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if its by your side for the rest of my life Baby, you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

She knew how dangerous this was getting, but she couldn’t help herself just for this one song. Couldn’t help giggling when he spun her around and pulled her close. Couldn’t help but let her stupid heart thud at his deep laughter. Where she could touch him for a little while without question, without worry. She can feel the hair at the nape of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him because they were just dancing. This stolen moment getting filed away as one of the best nights she’s had to date. 

“If you wanna be with a guy whose gonna give you The whole world from the back of a dirt road farm Scribbled in ink with a big heart a tattoo on my arm I'm talkin' kissin' like crazy, can't shut it down Can't you see how I wanna be the guy that you’re out with Arm that's your names on”

With every sway, he felt like he was taking a step towards where he should be. The person he should be and wanted to be. The doubt that has been clouding over him slowly clearing a little. He felt like he could finally see the light shining through. If someone like Riley could stand next to him as the world ended then life couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? So for now at this moment, he pulls her closer, lets her scent make him dizzy. Lets his hand splay across the small of her back to let each finger feel her.

“Be the lips baby that you wanna put your lips on All-day, all night, moonshine, sunrise, your favorite song There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life, baby you can call me A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be”

There is a cheer from the crowd and she laughs “This song is fucking catchy,” She says as he dips her, the audible gasp vibrating through her to him. He decided then that he loved dancing with Riley. He loved her laughs, the way her whole face lit up. 

“I wanna be the guy you make a life with, picket white fence with Maybe a little later hell even make a baby with Just you and me livin' that life long dream There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life”

He placed his forehead against hers and held her close. She glances up at him and his eyes hold hers. She’s mystified by their intensity, her body on fire from his breath fanning across her face. They were so close, he could kiss. He wanted to kiss her. As they got lost in each other, they failed to see the silly smile on Bozer’s face as he watched them or Jack who also softly chuckled from where he got distracted from wooing his lady friend Carla. If he was being honest, he can’t believe it took this long for them to get to this point. Well, he supposed he’ll have to have a chat with Mac about what he can expect if he hurts his little girl. Turning back to Carla he spared them one last glance then he was all Dalton, Jack Dalton. 

“Baby you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be You can call me your wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

The crowd clapped cheered and whistled around them, he held her eyes still in a trance. Something definitely shifted between them. She cleared her throat and let him go smiling. “Thanks for the dance. That was so much fun.” Turning to make her way through the crowd to their table where a fresh bottle of beer was waiting for them courtesy of Bozer she assumed. She didn’t wait to see if he was following.

The heat from the dance coming off her now as if she had a full HIIT workout. She took a sip of the beer and before she could swallow it, he was standing next to her. 

“Riley…”

She gulped down the beer and looked at him, she was so fucked. 

[creativitycache]

90s Specific References In Timeline Of Theseus

Hello! I’ve decided to compile all the 90s references in TOT so far, after seeing how cluttered my in-fic-notes links were getting and reading comments from people who googled references I forgot to directly link. Hopefully this will be useful for folks! I’ll place this under a cut to spare your scrolling.

Chapter 5

The Spice Girls - “Wannabe”. First released in May 1996 for radio in the UK

Elias’s Mobile Phone, the Motorola StarTAC 8500. First released Jan 3 1996 as the lightest mobile phone in the world. It had no answering machine, and was the first ever clamshell/flip phone. It was inspired by Star Trek’s Communicator

Elias’s Living Room Phone. This style had been in place almost virtually unchanged since touch tones replaced rotary phones in the 60s

Gertrude’s Pager. Her pager is a numeric pager, meaning it can’t receive messages, all it does is buzz and flash the phone number that’s calling you. First popularized by doctors on-call during the 1980s, by the 90s they were essential for any business woman on the go

Here’s a commercial for Motorolla’s! This is their “latest” 1996 model, but truth be told the look and shape didn’t update much. I headcanon Gertrude is still lugging along a late-80s model. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!

Chapter 10

Jon’s Tiger Torch. Not much to say about this one, the first versions from different brands began around 1995 from what I can track down. Very cute, but not very bright!

The Tube/London Underground. This shows up in a few chapters, but I’ll place this video here because here’s where I got the details of what the tickets looked like to Jon. Check out this youtube channel for other great content of different slices of life- not just London in the 1990s!

The Laguna Hotel. This hotel is budget conscious, which is good for Joshua’s wallet as he has no idea how long these weird people will be crashing in his apartment. It also hasn’t really changed at all from the 90s (some reviewers say its much the same as it was when they visited in the 80s, hence Joshua calling it out for being “outdated”). You can still stay there today for that blast from the past!

As an aside on Bournemouth itself, you have no idea how disappointed I was to learn it had shops that sold suits and business wear back in the 90s. I really wanted to stick Elias in a tacky tourist shirt.

CCTV. Bournemouth first installed CCTV in 1985, the very first local council to do so. Looks very different than the sleek versions we now see!

Fiona’s/Elizabeth’s Seaside Tourist Dress. These flowy dresses can be found pretty much unchanged in any seaside town, as they are easy to manufacture and make for great swimsuit coverups. Modern ones actually tend to be much more shapeless, and the 90s tended to curve inwards gently towards the waist. Here’s one that’s actually from the 90s, but was edited by Cut Out And Keep. Original 90s on the left

Elizabeth’s Dinner Outfit. Trouser legs were wide but not flared like the 80s and kept high waisted. See outfit D

Chapter 11

Jon’s Lightup Shoes. Itty-bitty picture, but thanks to resurgence of lights on shoes this is the best one I can find that’s actually from the 90s. Very chunky pattern + lots of swooshy details were a hallmark of 90s sneakers, and what better addition than lights!

Jon’s Crayons. This isn’t exactly 90s only, but I did want to share this website I found while writing this chapter. It contains the exact shade of every Crayola crayon! https://www.crayola.com/explore-colors/

Playground in Hyde Park. This park is pretty incredible! It has various structures to play in, but Jon is specifically drawn to the Pirate Ship. This structure was previously a part of a themed section of the park based around Peter Pan. The section of the park was renovated after Princess Diana’s death in 1997 and renamed in her honor. The original, which Jon would have played on, is a little smaller than the one pictured below as they tore the old one down to make this new renovated update.

Chapter 13

L'Oréal Kids Shampoo. This shampoo can still be bought today, in many of the original 1990s scents. Jonah Magnus is looking out of the Burst of Watermelon because that was my favorite and I said so.

Slack+. This is the scheduling program Microsoft had before Outlook & Outlook Calendars. I cannot stress enough how hideous computer programs were in the 90s.

Misc.

I AM S C R E A M I N G as I typed up a bunch about emails in the 90s for one of my chapters but someone am JUST NOW realizing I never posted it. I did all that research and never shared! How. How did this happen. And where did it go?

Long story short, pretty much only schools, research, and some government & business had email. An email address wasn’t free until Hotmail revolutionized the game in 1996, offering free email addresses to anyone. They were then bought out by Microsoft who used that program to create Outlook emails.

But before them, research facilities like the Magnus Institute and The Gifted Young Minds Program would have most likely used Pine, which depending on your computer & version could be various shades of hideous.

No wonder Fiona hates them.

[kate-likes-this]

Pedro for Mr Porter (09-06/17)

Words by Mr Craig McLean • Photographer: Mr Paul Wetherell • Stylist: Mr Olie Arnold Related: photoshoot / list of articles 

The star of Kingsman: The Golden Circle on finding fame in his forties

As Mr Pedro Pascal slumps in a chair in the Soho Hotel in London, he tells me a story. Two days before leaving the set of his current project in Seattle, an indie film called Prospect, the summoned driver didn’t recognise him and dismissed him as one of the city’s homeless. “I was wearing a loose flannel,” he says. “I was wearing comfortable clothes to travel.”

The actor blames his collapsing luggage – held together by duct tape after stints in Colombia, Croatia, China, Belfast and London – rather than his attire. Still, that embarrassment speaks of the frayed-at-the-edges madness of the 42-year-old’s life these past couple of years.

Wearing his living-out-of-a-suitcase civvies – white T-shirt, blue jeans, black sneakers – his circadian rhythms are out of sync due to jet lag. His brain throbs from a Saturday morning of press appointments. And as far as his body is concerned, well, let’s just say any physical aches are nothing to do with post-gym burn. “Do I look like I gym?” he says, proffering a flabby upper arm.

I ask him to sum up the past two years in one sentence. Mr Pascal thinks hard, sipping his black Americano. He tries to wriggle out of it. Eventually he responds, “Ouch, my back.

“It’s funny that I can’t come up with an answer,” he says. “That failure has so much to do with the go-go-go aspect of the past two years. You never feel like you’re catching up. It’s the irony of getting what you’ve worked so hard for. You do have to stop and look behind you and assess what’s happened. And there’s the weird reality that loads has happened, and it’s all on film.” 

Indeed it has. As Mr Pascal reached the end of his thirties, he finally put two decades as a jobbing player behind him and claimed Next Big Thing status. As Ms Sarah Paulson, a friend from their days as young wannabe actors in New York, puts it, “Most people don’t get to be in their early forties and have their lives changed, work-wise, in this business.”

First there was a memorable run in season 4 of Game Of Thrones. Mr Pascal played Prince Oberyn Martell, the all-fighting, all-fornicating Red Viper of Dorne (his exterior scenes were shot in Croatia, the interiors in Belfast). The adoptive Los Angeleno’s time on the show began with an access-all-areas-and-sexes orgy and ended with his head being crushed like a watermelon by Cersei’s favourite knight known as The Mountain.

Then there was a switch to the big screen for The Great Wall, the would-be blockbuster that Oscars host Mr Jimmy Kimmel larkily dubbed Mr Matt Damon’s “Chinese ponytail movie”. Then back to the small screen for Narcos, the Netflix series about Colombian drug cartels in the 1980s. In what amounts to something of a homecoming job, Mr Pascal plays Mr Javier Peña, a real-life field operative with the US Drug Enforcement Administration. Narcos shoots for six months of the year in Colombia, and the recently wrapped season three launched this month. There is blood, corruption and cocaine, mountains of it, with Mr Pascal once again at the heart of the action. But no Pablo Escobar.

But for now, it’s back to the movies. In Kingsman: The Golden Circle, the explosive follow-up to 2015’s box-office triumph Kingsman: The Secret Service, director Mr Matthew Vaughn cast Mr Pascal as one of his Statesman. They’re the rootin’, tootin’, six-gun-shootin’ American counterparts of the stiff-upper-quips British secret agents led by Messrs Colin Firth, Mark Strong and Taron Egerton. Mr Pascal plays Agent Whiskey, a “suited and booted cowboy” working with Mr Channing Tatum’s and Mr Jeff Bridges’ “rancher cowboy” agents.

“Matthew Vaughn has his finger on the pulse of nostalgia,” says Mr Pascal. “He takes us back to our childhoods in a naughty way. There’s such a wink there. And it’s really quite edgy – it’s rated R.” He credits Mr Vaughn with seeing something in his performance in the first season of Narcos (“And let’s be honest, I was quite marginal in that first season”) and hanging on to that vision of “this Burt Reynolds guy”.

“And 20th Century Fox could have said, ‘Who the f**k is Pedro Pascal?’ And Matthew was like, ‘That’s who I want.’” His self-doubt only added to his appeal. “[Pedro] had the swagger and confidence,” Mr Vaughn has observed, “but at the same time, such vulnerability of expecting to be rejected.”

“That’s a very accurate summation,” says Mr Pascal. “I think Matthew expected me to roll in and just be like, ‘’Sup? I’m The Guy.’ And I’m not like that. I have no confidence in terms of needing to meet a certain expectation of any kind, really. If Matthew was expecting some badass cowboy to walk in the door, that’s not me.”

Going spur to spur with Mr Tatum and Mr Bridges, then, was there a small voice in the back of his head whispering, “Pedro, you’re not worth it.” “There is something for me that’s so surreal about sitting a foot from Jeff Bridges and being invited to be a part of an ensemble that includes him, Colin Firth, Halle Berry, Mark Strong,” he says. “I didn’t grow up watching Channing Tatum, so that felt a little safer. But he’s still a star. It’s weird when you’re a fan, a young fan, of these other actors, and suddenly you’re their equal. So I think I kind of nestled into who I really am, as a fan, and just let that be.”

If we want to get all amateur psychologist and unpack that refreshing lack of ego, Mr Pascal suggests we consider his cultural status. “I’m not even first-generation American,” he says. “I was born in Chile and was already almost two when I came to the States. There’s something to that. It’s just rude if you’re not respectful. Because you’re a guest. And also, don’t draw too much attention to yourself. And you have more to prove, and that can’t be done through anything demonstrative or arrogant.”

After General Augosto Pinochet grabbed power in Chile in 1973, Mr Pascal’s parents fled the country. First, they hid in the Venezuelan Embassy, then they were given asylum in Denmark. After his fertility doctor father secured a laboratory job in the United States, the family emigrated, first to San Antonio, Texas, then to Orange County, California. 

It was a comfortable, arts-filled childhood for Mr Pascal, his sister and two brothers. In film terms, he was a self-proclaimed early-adopter “nerd”, falling hard for horror films. Aged six, Poltergeist came into his life like a brick through a window. Exploiting the fact that his mother was otherwise engaged completing her PhD in child psychology, he watched it twice a day, every day, for a whole week of the summer holidays.

“Once Poltergeist rolled around, I already knew what I was,” he says. “And so when I saw trailers for that, honestly that was the primary seed of this kind of fantasy. My imagination developed so much from that movie, which is a little disturbing I guess.”

The Pascals were enthusiastic concert-goers, and took their children to see The Police, Iggy Pop and The Pretenders. Did they have such a lust for life because a dictatorship had nearly cost them theirs? “Well, they were young,” he says. “And in a way, they saw it as, ‘This is what you do as a family in America.’ So my sister got tickets for Madonna’s Like A Virgin tour for her birthday, and we all went. Yeah, wicked!” For his 12th birthday, he saw U2 on their Joshua Tree tour. “And when I was 14 I saw The Stones’ Steel Wheels tour, with Guns N’ Roses opening. Their imperial years. It was like travelling to Africa. It was something that was burned into my mind.”

He’s ashamed to concede that, these days, he’s more disconnected from gigs and trips to the cinema. He’s a “curmudgeon” who can’t be bothered with the queuing and the effort. “I sit in a hotel room and I watch Netflix.”

Mr Pascal is single. When was his last serious relationship? “Oh gosh,” he says. “Three years ago? Yeah, yeah, we’ll see if I die alone.” This, he agrees, is probably the downside of the itinerant madness of the past few years. “If I was to stop and think about dating, I don’t know how that could be managed with the schedule I’ve had,” he says. “I suppose that sounds a bit arrogant. But if I want to get involved in something, I want to pay attention to it, and I want to nurture it. It takes energy to be with someone – physical energy, emotional energy – and you want them to be happy. So I haven’t had time. Thank God for the internet.”

And, he adds, brightening, thank God for London. He loves coming to the city, not least for the stage productions on offer. Theater seems to be one of the few pleasures he actively seeks out. This evening he’s going to see Angels In America, Mr Tony Kushner’s epic two-part meditation on AIDS and homosexuality in the US in the 1980s. “My friend Russell Tovey is in it,” says Mr Pascal. “He’s a great guy. And he’s so on it. He got me tickets to both parts. Tony Kushner said it’s the best production he’s seen, which pissed me off. You can’t give that to the Brits. That’s not fair. This is Angels In America. There’s a clue in the title.”

Mr Pascal’s agents are making him fly straight back to the States, he harrumphs, otherwise he’d have tried to get tickets for Mr Sam Mendes’ acclaimed production of Mr Jez Butterworth’s The Ferryman. “This trip is so mad dash, I’m not even pretending I’m here,” says Mr Pascal. “I’m already thinking what I have to do on Monday in Los Angeles that I could put off so I can stay and see that play.” Surely, though, on the rare occasions he’s home in LA, he goes out. “Yeah, sure, but I’ve got pretty boring in my old age. I’ve got to be invited and I’ve got to get myself out. Friends are giving me a hard time about it.”

He cheerfully refers to the disconnect between the parts he plays and the life he leads. “You leave really the wrong impression with the public. I see people and I see how hard they can go, but I just don’t have the genes for it.” So, no, he’s nothing like the swashbuckling Mr Peña in Narcos or Game Of Thrones’ Oberyn, an epicurean who’s savouring life and “who’s ready to f**k everything”. That’s not him? “No, it’s not. It’s not the case at all. Possibly in my imagination,” he twinkles. “I’m certainly capable.”

So that’s a snapshot of Mr Pascal’s busy, giddy, globetrotting early forties. Before he goes, does he want to have another go at that summing-up sentence? The actor frowns, fidgets and flounders. His publicist, hovering like publicists do, suggests this: “The joys and the perils of getting everything you ever hoped for.”

It’s good, better even. But, finally, a lightbulb moment from the weary man himself. “Oh, there’s a quote from James Baldwin: ‘Be careful what you wish for because you most certainly will get it.’ That’s the last two years,” he says as he rises from the table. “But you should still put in ‘Ouch, my back.’”

[scaryscarecrows]

Beggar, Pick Up Your Crown

AN: Title from Jerry Cantrell’s ‘Siddhartha’. Takes place the day after ‘Out of Hell’.

Happy birthday, Jason!

* * * 

Jason wakes from the...he’s thinking the third-best nights’ sleep he’s had in his whole life. First one was...pfft, one’a those random nights, Mom had been feeling okay, and they’d stayed up to see the sunrise and made s’mores on the stove. Second had been after his first. His. Patrol. First patrol.

He has no idea what time it is, and he’s afraid to open his eyes, lest last night turn out to be a dream. He stays still for the moment, concentrating on the cheap hotel mattress under his still-aching body, the smell of complimentary soap and cleaner and that lingering people have been born, had sex, and probably died in this room smell that these sorts of places have. He can hear rain and traffic and general Gotham Living outside and in the rooms around him.

And he’s hungry.

Okay. Okay. He’s woken up out of nice dreams before, and it hurts, but. But he can do it again. One more time.

Please…

He cracks his eyes open.

The room is beige and...rusty orange...and very bright. Well, bright to him, anyway. It’s empty, but he rolls over and, muscles protesting the whole time, peers under the bed. Zilch.

Still unconvinced he’s not hallucinating or unwillingly playing one of the clown’s head games, Jason stumbles out of the warm bed, ankle cracking horribly when he makes it take his weight, and shuffles to the bathroom. Nothing. Nothing in the shower, or wedged into the little cabinet under the sink. He’s alone here.

He lets his breath out slowly, slumping forward against the sink to take some of the pressure off his ankle. He’ll have to look at it later, look at everything later, but...but not now. Not this second, huh?

His hair’s too long; his bangs are in his eyes and he can feel dead ends scraping the back of his neck. No way in hell is he letting anyone near him with scissors. That’s okay. He did self-trims when he was a kid.

He’s out.

He’s out, he’s free of that monster. That bastard’s never going to hurt him ever again. The thought makes him lightheaded, brings an unfamiliar twist to his lips that feels like it might be a smile.

And then he makes the mistake of looking up at the mirror.

The boy-no, he’s not a boy anymore, is he-looking back at him looks dead. He’s pasty white, thin and hollow-cheeked with no spark to his eyes. There’s cuts and gashes all over his face, his nose is crooked, and...and there’s that. The brand on his face, the one that still hurts, the one that screams to the world, PROPERTY OF THE JOKER, IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN!

I’ll never get away from him.

The mirror shatters under his fist, shards jabbing in between his knuckles and falling into the sink and bouncing off the counter to hit the tiles by his feet. He doesn’t care. He can’t face this he can’t face this he can’t--

This is too much for his ankle; it buckles and then he’s kneeling in the glass, sobbing so hard it’s silent and hurts his throat and chest. He chokes, doubles over so’s his forehead’s pressed against his knees, bites down on his lips to try and...and…

Willis always said, ‘boys don’t cry’. Bruce hadn’t...he’d never known what to do with tears. Or any outpouring of emotion, for that matter. And Joker had loved them. But Jason? Right now, he doesn’t care about any of that. He wants Mom, but Mom can’t be here anymore.

It takes him several minutes to register that the tears have stopped and that he’s just...huddled here on the floor with glass jutting out of his skin. The glass doesn’t hurt, but his ankle does and he slowly and carefully brings it up to investigate.

It’s swollen and hot to the touch and it...something about it doesn’t look quite right. He’ll wrap it, he decides, he’ll get a compression bandage or something later today. Okay. He’s okay. He’s just gotta breathe, get up, clean this mess up because he was raised better than to leave this shit for the housekeeper, and then...if he is where he thinks he is, there’s a bodega two blocks south, one that has a gray tabby that lounges in the window. They’ll have a thing of chips or something he can choke down (safely), maybe bandages. Definitely a hoodie, at least, a nice touristy hoodie.

He can make it two blocks. Like he’s got a choice, but he can make it two blocks.

* * *

The smell of rotting watermelons, cheap ice cream bars, and packaged bread is possibly one of the best things Jason’s ever smelled in his life. He’s starving, and now, confronted with food choices, he knows he’s gonna have to exercise some restraint and not just devour a stale baguette in the middle of the store. Crackers. And maybe a soup-cup-thing, that’s mild. And, uh, cranberry juice, yeah, that’s sorta healthy. And a Reese’s. If the Reese’s makes him sick, it’ll be worth it.

The owner is dancing lightly to the mariachi on the radio and the cat is more interested in the birds outside than in him, which means he can limp through the store on his own sweet time. They do have bandages, and the food he thinks he can do, and a red hoodie* proclaiming, I Survived Gotham. It’ll do.

What’s worrying him-apart from, you know, everything else-is where he found money last night. He doesn’t remember a damn thing after leaving Arkham, and it scares him. Mystery for later, though, because he’s hungry and grateful he doesn’t have to rob the bodega man, who-miracle of miracles-doesn’t so much as look up at him. He pulls the hoodie on the second he’s outside, though, tugs the hood up to try and cover the damn thing at least a little.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He can’t go back to him-he’ll die first-and he can’t...s’like they say, you can never go home again. If Wayne Manor was ever home. 

Left me he left me with him he said he’d always be there and he fucking left me with that bastard--

He just doesn’t know what to do.

He stumbles back into the hotel room, debates on whether or not he wants to use the grody microwave provided, and decides that yes, yes he does. This will be the first real food he’s had in over a year and he wants to try and enjoy it, if that’s possible.

Man, he hasn’t had one of these in...geeze, since before Mom died. They’re not Old Money Approved, after all. Good. He’s not Old Money Approved, either.

It’s done, he decides, when it pops and the lid gets all soft and hot. It smells okay. Safe, anyway, no hint of Joker venom or any other little surprises. The steam curls around his face, making the...the burn a little tender, but it’s fine. It’s fine. He bought it all sealed up and he’s the only one who’s touched it. He took off the safety tin.

So why can’t he eat it? His appetite’s vanished, even though he knows he needs to eat, it’s just…

You gotta eat, baby.

That sounds like Mom, and it should be concerning, but...he does need to eat. And he can’t just chug it, either, much as he’d like to get it over with. He’s gotta be slow and careful.

Cracker! He’ll dip a cracker in.

The soup’s hot and salty on his tongue, miles above the slop he’s been eating in the asylum. Once he swallows the slightly soggy cracker, his appetite returns with a vengeance and it’s an effort not to pour half the column of crackers in, smash them to bits with the spoon, and eat the resulting mush here and now. But he can’t. He’ll be sick. Hell, he might be sick anyway, who knows.

He dunks another cracker in, catches a wispy noodle on it this time. Jesus. Jesus Christ, this is it, he’s living on soup and crackers forever, this is the best thing he’s eaten in his life--

--no. No it isn’t, is it. Alfred. Alfred made…

Not now. Just eat.

That’s right. He can’t think about anything, that’s not...he’s spent a long time, trapped in his own head. Not now. He can’t do that now. Food first.

The soup goes down easily enough, the cran juice a little less so but it stays in, and then he has to admit that yup, time for some self-examination.

He’s not facing the mirror-or what’s left of it-again. It’s better to stay here, to strip off despite knowing that hotel beds are scuzzy, and, well, survey the damage. And there is a lot of damage. Burn scars, wire scars, marks he can’t even begin to trace. He doesn’t really want to know what his back looks like, but he’ll have to find out.

Further poking the ankle says that oh, sure, it’s...healing, or maybe as good as it’s gonna get, but that squeezing certain spots of it makes his vision go white and over-manipulating it is worse than that. He puts the bandage on it, because what else can he do, and struggles back into his clothes. No more. He can’t do more right now.

* * *

Jason does not mean to fall into a fitful sleep, but that’s what happens. He wakes up gasping and soaked in sweat, a man’s shouting echoing in his ears. Sounds like Willis.

After a minute of lying here, he comes to realize that it isn’t Willis, and it isn’t a dream. It’s...lobby, something’s going on in the lobby.

Shit.

It’s hard to move as steathily as he used to, but he’s still quieter than the average schmuck when he slips out of bed and opens the door to creep down the hall. It’s late, which means the clerk should be alone, which makes them easy pickings. People never change, much as Batman insists that they do.

The shouting man has a gun. He’s wearing a scarf around the lower half of his face and he’s actually kinda big. Looks plenty comfortable threatening a woman half his size.

He doesn’t think, just moves; grabs one of the little chairs near the doors and hurls it

Owowowow not good movement not good

at the man’s back. He trips, gun falling from his fingers and sliding under the desk. The woman, wisely, ducks.

“What the fuck--oh, we got us a Batman-wannabe.” The guy cracks his back. “Come on, then, hero.”

He’s out of practice. Doesn’t mean he’s helpless. He dodges the oncoming haymaker and retaliates by going straight for the jugular.

Or, in this case, the balls. Fighting fair does not get you far in life.

The bravado vanishes. It’s hard to be badass when you’re shrieking like a little girl with your testicles twisted in a fist. Jason lets go, headbutts him to get him down, and steps around him to fish the gun out from under the desk.

“Get the hell out of here,” he says, more out of breath than he should be after that. His shoulders hurt from the throw. That can’t be good. “Or pray to God Batman shows up to save you in the next thirty seconds.”

“You son of a bitch--”

“Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven--”

“I’ll kill you!”

He cocks the gun. Little awkwardly, it’s true-Bruce taught him the absolute bare minimum of gun handling-but it gets his point across.

“Twenty-six. Twenty-five.”

The man can’t quite get upright, but he manages to hobble outside. Jason doesn’t chase after him. He’s shaking, a little, and the gun’s awkward in his hand.

“Thank you.” Oh. Yeah. He forgot about her. “I don’t know--he wanted money, I guess--”

“Don’t they all.” He doesn’t turn around. He can’t; he’s way too identifiable. “You’re welcome.” Back to his room it is, to get his crap and clear out. “I’m gonna check out before the cops show.”

“I’m not calling them.” Huh. “They never come. That’s the third time in two months we’ve had someone in here.”

Figures.

He doesn’t answer-what do you say, huh?-, just shuffles back to his room. He doesn’t realize, until the door’s locked behind him, that he’s still got the gun.

Well, he figures, as he stumbles back towards the bed, at least if Joker manages to track him here, he won’t have to go back. He’ll kill the clown or himself, it doesn’t matter which, but he’s not going back.

He crawls under the blankets this time, tries to get a little more comfortable. It must work, because in five minutes, he’s out. Nothing wakes him this time.

THE END

*Arkham!Jason has a fondness for red hoodies even pre-Red Hood; both baby Jay and grown-up Jay are shown wearing one in the prequels. For obvious reasons. :p

[rogerina-yee-haw]

Joe Mazzello - NSFW Alphabet

a/n: I'm dedicating it to @starfleet-wannabe💓 babes, you make my days better!!! ily!!!(also I promise you that those imagines abt Joe x Reader will see the light once...I promise you, Erin)

I can't insert the "Keep reading" link from the tumblr mobile app, cause I'm really dumb, so if you don't want to read it - just scroll down k thx

this was requested many times and I'm sorry, my dudes....this is really bad....

warnings: obviously smut lmao, typos (sorry I've read it too many times just to check on errors and I can't look at this text right now, and there are obviously still bunch of mistakes, sorry, fellas)

Joe if you ever see this I'm sorry I hope it never happens

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Joe is the softest human being ever (well, mostly). It doesn't matter whether the sex was romantic and tender or rough and passionate, the aftercare is always the same: he helps clean you up and then make you both tea, while you lie in bed, talking and just spending time with each other.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

As it was considered on this website, Joe is an ass man. You can count the times his hands were off your bum; he always keeps his hand on your lower back, and then, if he's in the mood (and he's always in the mood) he starts caressing your butt through your clothes, grabbing and tapping it when he can. It's not like the ass is the only thing he admires - Joe loves all of you, every part of your body and soul. But your ass is just so squishy and soft, and he can't get enough of it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

If the sex is unprotected, he cums on your ass. Period.

D = Dirty Secret

Joe doesn't have dirty secrets. If he wants to try something, he'll tell you about it; there isn't something you two can't discuss.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

Joe is very experienced. He knows exactly what to do to make you scream his name in the bedroom.

F = Favourite Position

Doggy (unbelievable, right?). He also loves reverse cowgirl for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean that you don't change positions while having sex. He loves seeing you on top, riding both of you into orgasm; he enjoys missionary and every other sex position, simply because he gets to try them all with you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Come on, it's Joe we're talking about here. Sex is sometimes filled with him telling you stupid jokes, and always it turns out to be just like he's having a stand up show, while you lie down naked under him. He may crack up some dad jokes during the most tense moments, like when you're on top of him, and you're gasping and moaning, "I'm cumming", he'd say breathlessly, "Hi, cumming, I'm Joe", and you'll just burst into crazy laugh, even though the joke is stupid and not funny.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't like to be completely bare down there, so he just keeps it trimmed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Joe is very romantic (we been knew). He just loves you so much that, even if the sex rough, he still wants and needs you to feel loved and comfortable. The man is so in love with you that he can't stop kissing and touching you, whispering how much he adores you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It's a must, if he's away filming. You two like to get yourselves off while talking on the phone, breathing and moaning messily while telling each other the filthiest things. Joe is actually an expert in dirty talk.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Joe's got hella lots of kinks. He's most preferable ones are:

Daddy kink. Do you really think this man doesn't like to be called daddy? If you do, you're wrong. Seeing you twirling in ecstasy when "daddy" is the only thing you can weakly whimper makes him bust a nut right then and there.

Edging. He's an asshole sometimes, alright? Joe enjoys it when you desperately beg him to fuck you. He loves when you're being restrained all day, and you walk around frustrated and horny. Not to mention that the thought of fucking you hard later turns him on immediately. (You love all of it too, even though you don't admit it sometimes; you're also fond of the idea teasing Joe like this later).

Slight voyeurism, but he likes to watch himself fuck you. He's bought a huge mirror for the bedroom, so that you two could have sex in front of it. He loves to pound into you from behind, holding your hair, slapping your ass and saying the dirtiest shit, like, "Watch yourself being wrecked by my cock" or "Look how pretty you look, look at your pretty tits boucing like this cause I'm fucking you so hard"

Dirty talk (it's considered as a kink, right?). Come on, Joe is a master at this. He'd spill the filth at random places; like you two are doing grocery shopping and he comes to you holding a watermelon, leans in and whispers in your ear, "I wish I could bend you over this shopping cart and fuck you till you can't move". And you just stand there bewildered, while he continues his routine. Or when you're on some fancy event, he'd put his hand on your waist and say to you quietly, "You look so sexy like this with this red lipstick. Can't wait when these pretty lips are wrapped around my cock". And your eyes go wide as you choke on your drink, while everyone looks at you weirdly.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Um, anywhere? Joe's just turned on by you 24/7 (as well as you are by him), so he doesn't mind having sex with you in restrooms, closets, empty hallways, in his trailer, your childhood bedrooms... Once you were at the party and caught your friends having sex; no wonder that fifteen minutes later you and Joe were doing the same thing in the bathroom, of course, in front of the mirror. Sex in his car is a must too, especially when you're driving - he thinks you look really hot while doing so. One time you were almost caught doing it in the car by the police, and since then you can't stop giggling like two teenagers while remembering about it.

But Joe loves sex in your bedroom. He just feels like this is the most intimate place on the Earth, where you two can be sincere and sensitive.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything. He's got the crazy sex energy, and literally anything can make him go. Once, when you were brushing your teeth, and wearing one of his old tee-shirts and baggy pajama pants, he decided it was a good idea to start teasing you, by leaving wet, mouth-opened kisses on your neck and by fingering you slowly. You evidently couldn't brush you teeth normally at that moment.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Joe wouldn't do something that'll harm and hurt both of you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's a pro in giving. You'll be screaming and grabbing his hair tightly, even though he barely touched you. And as you love giving too, he wouldn't ever be against it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

You can experience every pace during the time you have sex. He may start roughly, pounding into you harshly, and then go slower, stretching you gently and whispering sweet nothings against your skin.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Joe loves quickies. Once when he was on set and had to leave for shooting in five minutes, he pinned you against the wall of his trailer and fucked the soul outta you. "It's just a preview of what you're getting at night", he winked at you while leaving and you just gasped. This man is something, y'all.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

You both love taking risks. Joe enjoys having sex when the guests you invited to your party may come at any moment; he once decided to start fingering you while you were at dinner with your family. "Such a good girl, taking me so well", he whispered in your ear when you struggled not to moan loudly in front of your parents. "I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get into the car. I'm gonna reward you for being such a good girl and not cumming here".

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

If he and you are feeling alright, 2 and more rounds. But if one of you is not okay, and the sex is just full of love and reassurance, there'd be just one round.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You own toys. And Joe's using them on you. Especially when he's being a little shit - means when he's edging you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once you were having an unplanned and sloppy sex in the secluded bathroom at one after-party of the awards, and he pulled out right when you were about to cum. He initiated the sex and denied you both. That's how much of a "tease" he is.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's loud when he's in the mood. He can moan loudly, and sometimes when you feel incredibly good he comes while screaming your name.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Joe's got a breeding kink. (It's not really surprising, though, this man radiates dad energy). He gets hard just thinking about you being pregnant with his child. Man wants to have a family with you, and that's why he can barely keep it in his pants when you're around (always).

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick is a perfect size to make you scream. That's it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Joe's sex drive is immeasurable. You have no idea how this man can always be horny and ready to fuck.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He falls asleep as soon as you two cuddle; when you start breathing in unison, he nods off pretty quickly, still holding you tightly.

[wordsfromgrime]

One Night in Richmond

~Busted~

It never hurts to show up with a case of beer so I stop at Lombardy Kroger on my way to the Circle and pick up some Blue Moons and a box of popsicles -both alluding to the festive mood facing through the air. This morning the mayor announced the resignation of our only ten-day old police chief, and while many understood the dense socio-political tactics implied with the decision, most celebrated the occasion as well. A Friday night at the top of summer will always carry with it feelings of excitement and reward.

I pull my bike up to the normal spot at Marcus-David Peters Circle and recognize a few familiar faces in the soft afterglow of dusk’s light. The sun is just now setting, leaving only about 30 minutes until full darkness and the cover that comes with it. Now, the sun is still tightrope walking over the horizon, the sky shimmering with raspberry-lemonade tones and watermelon marshmallow clouds. Around the turn of the Circle a free concert is underway, made possible with just a microphone, a generator, and a few amps. We doodle with spray-paint, or attempt freestyle tricks on our fixed gears, as we sip beers and bust musings on the day.

We’re all rocking on the obvious cookout vibe, but we’re tentative as well; We aren’t completely relaxed. We’ve seen things turn from lax to chaos before, in only a second, for no reason at all, and we know it can happen again.  When you’re facing an enemy that has full control over the definitions of combat, it’s forgiven to feel nervous.

For now though, it’s good vibes and sunshine. And while our conversations dance around the protests, the police, police brutality, human rights, the mistakes of the generations before us, and our determination to fix those mistakes, mostly we just talk about Richmond. It’s hard to explain Richmond to someone who hasn’t stayed there for any amount of time. Richmond is like an oasis that’s also a black hole. Richmond is the place you’re trying to get out of, and also the place you can’t wait to be back in. Richmond is the place you think you deserve. Richmond is where a lot of us feel most at home, but it’s a home that needs sweeping renovations.

As we expound freely on the failures and accomplishments of the capitol city, more and more of our friends arrive, skidding to stops at the periphery of our claimed area and slowly increasing our settlement size. It’s easy to dominate a space when everyone arrives with a bicycle, and in our group it’s pretty much a necessity to show up with some wheels of a sort. Besides a general interest in protesting the state, bicycles have been the strongest conjoining factor throughout the ragtag group of friends that I’ve been meeting with near-daily since the brutal murder of George Floyd at the end of March.

Some of these friends, like Salad (our stoic, de facto captain of the group who’s got friends in every part of town) and Funky (our resident artist and Big Wheel extraordinaire), I’ve known for a while and originally met just by biking in the same parts of town. But others, like Sophia (badass girl with a Wide Bars/Big Heart combo) or Johnny (no fixie yet [just a road bike], but is well-loved for his reputation of generosity and hilarious braggadociousness) I’ve only spent real time with since the protests began. All in all, there’s about 12 of us that have formed a little posse of itinerant protestors. Every summer brings with it something new, but something about the revolution marching down the streets had this summer already feeling particularly seismic. And something about all that “newness” in the air made me feel more like a kid again.

Soon, a few men in assault rifles and military vests approach us, seemingly threatened by their own lack of acceptance and comradery now reflected against our group of laughing friends.  

“Is this your tent? This tent’s gotta go!” the man begins the conversation, unaware or unwilling to exchange pleasantries.

“It’s not our tent but we don’t think it should go”, a few people begin to say at once. “That tent is covering a free community library.”

“Well, when the cops get here this is going to make them upset, and they’re going to come in here and destroy it anyway,” the man says. “So I’m just saying y’all should take it down before I come back with a few other guys with rifles and take it down myself….cuz we don’t want the cops to come!”

“You can do whatever you want, man, but we’re not going to take down some tent that isn’t ours just because you think the cops might come,” our friend Amin (always good for a giant smile and a fat joint) says. “And also, that whole theory doesn’t make a lot of sense to me” He punctuates this last part with a tip of his head and a swig of his beer.

The man grumbles to himself and walks away, returning ten minutes later with his aforementioned rifled goons, as well as a lady that doesn’t really seem to fit in with them.

“This lady owns the library so we’re getting her to take it down,” the man says, directing his speech towards our group for no apparent reason other than to start a conflict. He was obviously oblivious to how his aggressive, commandeering attitude was completely antithetical to the entire idea of the community space that is Marcus-David Peters Circle…or maybe he was just an asshole. Regardless, he was a blatant intimidator, and unless we’re talking about Number 3 (RIP) there’s just no room for that inside the Circle.

We ignored whatever the guy was trying to serve to us and kicked back, but soon the man was back again with an even larger group, now forcefully encouraging everyone to exit the interior of the Circle under the assurance that “the cops can’t touch us if we aren’t in the Circle”. As one tends to notice, it’s hard to say “no” to a group of men with large guns in their hands, so the group was having large amounts of success with their attempts to incentive people out of the area. Our group, though still not understanding completely or agreeing with the logic of the move, followed suit, packing up our blankets, beers, and popsicles.

Not five minutes after the entire populace of the Circle had been cleared out of the area that lay surrounded by graffitied barriers, officers in riot gear began to arrive, just as the man earlier had “predicted”. Predicted! *Hmpf*! Predicted, or imprecated? Or better yet, foretold? Because I reckon it’s a hell of a lot easier to predict the future when you’ve got a direct line to the chain of commands. I also reckon that about the only person who would come up and complain about the tent covering up a free library was some bootlicking wannabe-cop snitch who knew, without a doubt, that the cops were coming that night, whether they had a reason to or not.

And, of course, there was no reason that any amount of police officers, let alone 50+ outfitted in full riot gear, should have appeared that night. No reason for a city to sic a militarized pack of baton-wielding goons on its own people. No reason why the citizens of Richmond could not have just been left to be: listening to music, drinking beers, talking with friends. These were the crimes we committed before being attacked.

As police announced to the crowd that the surrounding area had been declared an “unlawful assembly” by the state, tempers began to flare on both sides. Rampant rubber bullets and flash bang grenades sliced through the air, as chants and screams rose up from the civilians. Suddenly, the space felt like a warzone, a battle with what seemed like completely lopsided enemies. On one side stood line after line of grown men adorned in battle armor, helmets, and shields. Some held Assault Rifles or guns meant for firing rubber bullets and smoke canisters; all wore heavy, polished, steel-toed boots. On the other side stood men, women, children, and pets equipped with nothing more than their wallets, sunglasses, tank tops, and shorts. Some held bottles of water for extinguishing smoke, others had gloves on for tossing tear gas canisters away; all wore a sense of fear, anger, confusion, and determination on their face. These Richmonders, who had done nothing more than to enjoy the public space of their city, would not be deterred so easily. A feeling had spread through the crowd that we would not be punished unjustly tonight. If we were going to have to face the consequences of merely existing in the street, then we weren’t going down without a fight.  

The ranks of G.I. Joe-pretenders slowly increased their perimeter, pushing citizens further and further from the reclaimed art space at the epicenter of the Circle. Soon, we stood in the middle of Park Avenue, a block from Monument Avenue, and still we were being told to “back up” and “get out of the street”, by both RPD and VSP. It seemed the boars with badges would not be content until they had claimed the whole neighborhood as their own Draconian hang-space.

When my friend Nick (The big love bully - The homie to ask you if you’re okay when you’ve got a down face) shines his flashlight toward a group of suspicious looking officers, he’s swarmed upon by a particularly dorky looking Virginia State officer who accosts him with a completely trivial question about the bike he’s riding.

“Whoah! Hey! You got lights for this bicycle here?” the officer asked, taking strides closer and closer to us, hand on his hip.

“Two, actually!” Came Nick’s response as we all flipped our bikes around to put some space between the officers and ourselves. “You’re not gunna get us on some shit like that!” He shouted over his shoulder as we pedaled up the street towards a safer space. “ya dumbass cop”

With some distance between the commotion and us, we regroup. Nick, Sophia, Salad, Ryan, Johnny, and I squad up at a park only a block away.

“Shit’s wild”

“What even started this?”

“Oh, they’re definitely mad about the chief resigning.”

“I saw someone get hit right in the face with a rubber bullet”

“Fuck!”

“I saw a couple kids with paint guns shooting at the cops, I think that’s what started it all”

“I mean, the cops started it all when they showed up…”

“AGREED!”

Looking behind him, Johnny says, “This car coming up is an unmarked cop car, anyone want to see where it’s going?”

“Let’s do it”, I say.

And we take off. The two of us darting after this beefy-looking tinted black SUV, keeping close but keeping our distance.

After a few blocks Johnny turns to me and says, “They aren’t going anywhere interesting, let’s head back.” and we reverse-course towards the way we came.

Coming back up towards the intersection where we left the rest of our friends, I can’t say that anything felt particularly off, though it did seem a little quiet, not a simple quiet but a stifled one.

As Johnny and I make our way through the shadow left in the space between two light posts, we hear a “GRAB HIM!” and a hidden mass springs from the darkness. I watch as Johnny’s bike finds the space between charging homunculus and a row of cards and skirts through it successfully, just as the same cop changes direction to tackle me off my bike (FUCK!). The goon leaps into the air as gracefully as an anemic hippopotamus, and tackles me off my bike with the ease of a drunken uncle at Thanksgiving.

“All right, big guy, you got me! You can chill out.” I say to the panting officer now shoving my arms in positions not familiar to them, restraining my non-resisting body with the help of 3 or 4 buddies. “I appreciate all the attention but it’s really not necessary”

“It’s for both of our safeties”, the stormtrooper says to me without looking at my face, instead holding his nose high with eyes darting around the perimeter like some cracked-out hound-dog.

“Oh yeah, I bet”, I say, laughing a little. “Hey man, you having any fun?”

The officer just grunts.

“Aw, c’mon man, what’s your name?”

“Officer Harris” Still no eye contact.

“Hey, officer Harris, you having any fun out here? It’s ok to have fun, I’m having some fun, are you having fun?”

Officer Harris shifts his weight from one foot to the other, rolls his tongue across his upper teeth, and says out of the side of his mouth, “Yeah, I’m having a little fun…but you guys are making it hard for us out here.”

“GROSSSSSSS!” I say laughing from the pit of my stomach, “Oh, Officer Harris, we’ve got real problems” And I continue to laugh as this confused cop looks down on me, still zip-tied at his feet. I was beyond affable at this point from the adrenaline and alcohol coursing through my bloodstream, and while the fear of this cop and his gang of buddies assaulting me crossed through my mind, I figured if I was in for a penny I was in for a pound. Being arrested for protesting the police force already put me in a vulnerable position, and I figured the policeman’s image of me couldn’t be altered much in the short time we were interacting with each other, but I wanted to say one more thing before Officer Harris cast me aside as some wanton rioter.

“I hope you don’t think I’m just some white punk, some revolutionary with no cause. I’m fighting for what I believe in, and I sleep well every night, Officer Harris, do you?”

“I try,” Khaleed Harris said with a sigh as he put me in a cage in the back of a van.

“Now, watch your head.”

[tiffersthenerdyficrecs]

BakuDeku AU Fics

(*) Indicates my most suggested reads.

daisies bunches and heather branches by halcyonwhispers

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Uraraka Ochako Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Flower Crowns, Language of Flowers, punk!Bakugou, Crushes, Pining, Fluff, so sweet you'll get cavities Summary: izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

And You Got To Me by hopeboiwonder

Rating: Mature Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Recreational Drug Use, Partying, boring jobs, disgusting boys in love, Extremely Sensory!Bakugo, Socially inept!Bakugo, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Katsuki POV, Alternate Universe - College/University, Barista!Izuku, as if it couldn't get more cliche, singer!Izuku, Neuroatypical!Katsuki, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Autism Spectrum, op is relating too hard to bnha characters always.... Summary: Katsuki's need to immerse himself in something that wasn't his new day in day out routine of working and sleeping leads him to discover a coffee shop in the middle of the night. Cafe Yagi.

Izuku's hair billows and bunches, chasing after him like a salty, green ocean wave; churning up crests of bright shimmer from the light above. His eyes brown bowls speckled with rich golden rings around his pupils; and remind him of the thin film of crema on top of a freshly pulled espresso shot...

Needless to say, coffee hasn't left his mind since.

Love Lucky Charm by Tenten Dragon Fire

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya/Uraraka Ochako mentioned Characters:Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Mitsuki mentioned, Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko mentioned - Character, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead mentioned, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Tokoyami Fumikage, Iida Tenya mentioned, Uraraka Ochako Additional Tags: Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmates, Fate & Destiny, Screw Destiny, I Tried, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Please Don't Hate Me, I Will Go Down With This Ship, It's not as much angst as the tagging says, happy holidays, Secret santa event, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Coffee Shops, Some kind of strange mix between those two Summary: “How long has it fucking been since that day?” “In two hours and 37 minutes it will be exactly four weeks. But who keeps the count?”

Prompt: ”You can’t see your soulmate’s eye colour until you meet them”

Heaven by jcssicwrites

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, baby’s first fanfic, College Student Midoriya Izuku, Barista Midoriya Izuku, Daddy Kink, Age Difference, Business Man Bakugo Katsuki Summary: Katsuki chuckles when he takes the drink noticing how flushed and flustered is. He is very cute, and maybe he wants to make him flush more. Maybe he wants to push him against a wall and make him beg for more. Maybe he wants to cover his cute freckles in kisses and cum. He wonders where else the cute barista has freckles...

In which Izuku is a cute barista and Katsuki is a rich business man who wants to own him.

Drinking Watermelon by warschach *

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Humor, get that 'izuku is plain' shit outta my house, katsuki back at again being awful at love but great at making an ass of himself, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Learning Curve by iknewaman

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, one-sided Izuku/Todroki Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto Additional Tags: Deaf Midoriya Izuku, Sign Language, Alternate Universe, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Quirkless Bakugou Katsuki, Alternate Universe - College/University Summary:“Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.

‘Really?’

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Hand Speak by pissunicorn

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Uraraka Ochako Additional Tags: Deaf Character, Fluff and Smut, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Bakugou Katsuki is a Dork, Budding Love, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Slow Burn, Sign Language, deaf!izuku, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, i swear the angst is short lived Summary: “You think you’re some hotshot, huh? You’re not going to even apologize, aren’t you?” Bakugou folded his arms, waiting for him to get on his knees with grief, but he turned around and picked something up from the counter inside. “Hey! Hey are you serious? I’m talking to you!” Bakugou had no qualms about barging into his house uninvited. “I said I’m talking to you! Are you Deaf-”

Puppies Puppies by Esselle

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Utsushimi Camie, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Tattoo Artist Midoriya Izuku, Puppy Store Owner Bakugou Katsuki, Puppies, Sexual Tension Summary: "So after doing all that," Katsuki says, "you're just going to settle here? Tatting up wannabe bad boys?"

"You think all guys who have a lot of tattoos are wannabes?" Midoriya asks, so smoothly that it throws Katsuki.

"Wh—no, I mean—maybe!" Katsuki says. "You'd know best, wouldn't you? Are you a bad boy?"

The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it, and he regrets them immediately. There's a figurative list of things that one should never do, and probably high up on it is asking dark-haired sailors with ocean green eyes and black swirls of ink all across their barely concealed muscles if they are bad boys.

--

Katsuki thinks he has everything he needs in life: a successful pet shop, an occasionally reliable assistant, and the unconditional love of the twenty puppies he’s raising for adoption. But when the tattoo parlor next door hires Midoriya Izuku, a hot sailor with an affinity for dogs, it makes Katsuki wonder if he might need something more.

Like… a piece of that ass. Maybe. He’s figuring it the hell out as he goes.

A Good Old-Fashioned Tattoo AU by lalazee

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Childhood Friends, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima & Deku kiss exactly one (1) time toward the beginning Summary: “We were childhood friends. From babies. Then UA happened and, well –” A shadow crossed Deku’s face just as he turned away from Katsuki, and something clenched in his chest.

The notebook, burning in Katsuki’s fist.

“Then we went our separate ways,” Deku said lightly.

After their paths had split, Bakugou & Deku meet again as adults. While Bakugou begins to repent for the kid he used to be, he also starts to prove himself as he the man he is now.

Summer Camp From Hell by LocalTrashBin *

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou Additional Tags: bakudeku, Summer Camp, Izuku and Katsuki team up, The kids all have original names cause I made them up, except Kota, Campfires, Kirishima is a great friend and needs to be appreciated, so does Iida, kind of slow burn depending on how long you like your fanfics, the kids are sterotypical children, comedy and fluff, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, They're all dorks oh my god, Summer Camp AU, Jealous Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki knows whats up, Completed, This is just like pure fluff, I hope y'all like campfires Summary: A fight breaks out between Izuku and Katsuki, it's the straw that breaks the camels back and the two are forced between the option of working in a summer camp together or expulsion.

Let's just say it goes just about as terribly as you'd expect.

Reparations by Merrywetherweather

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Midoriya Hisashi (Mentioned), Kirishima Eijirou, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, the last two are going to show up much later, Uraraka Ochako, Ashido Mina Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fantasy, D&D Dynamics, Dragonborn (D&D), Fae & Fairies, Elves, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, AOB Fic, Childhood Friends, friends to rivals to lovers, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Omega Verse, Omega!Deku, Alpha!Kacchan, bakudeku, KatsuDeku, Rating will go up, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Fluff, Some scenes have the potential to be dubcon but I won't ever let it get that far I promise, Dragonborn society is less sexist than human society in this when it comes to secondary genders, Blood, Fights, Scent Marking, Scenting, Spells & Enchantments, Bickering, Imprinting, Soulmates, Denial of Feelings, Love, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Nymphs & Dryads, Druids, Competition, kabedon, sassy deku, Flirting, Burns, Scars, Trials, Carrying, Magic, Jealousy, Protectiveness, Possessive Behavior, but in healthy amounts, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Romance, Kissing, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Claiming Bites, Claiming, Sex, Sex In A Cave, Knotting, Mating Bites, Biting, Riding Summary: When Izuku was a child, he was told to never enter the woods. But being in possession of the shortest attention span a four year old is capable of, he ignores his mother's warnings and stumbles after a very pretty butterfly. What he finds, instead, is a friend. His first and only friend.

Izuku is in his twenties now and he no longer runs to meet with the childhood friend who pushed him away so long ago. His mother and their village are on edge because he's way past his presenting years and he still hasn't had his first heat. He's defective. An omega who can't present can't find a mate or have kids, not like he's ever been inclined to find someone or have children. After leaving the confines of his small minded human village and wandering out into the woods once again, in search of a better life, that all changes when he runs into the one person he hoped to meet but never thought he'd see again.

Not Another Glass Slipper by Crandberrycrush and paigetaylor

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Bakugou Mitsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cinderella Elements, Top Midoriya Izuku, Bottom Bakugou Katsuki, Age Difference, Height Differences, Family Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Addiction, Family Member Death, Romance, this is not a slow burn Summary: Katsuki’s life was no fucking fairy tale. He wasn’t some damsel in distress, and he did not need some fucking knight in shining armor to save him. So what the hell was Prince Charming doing showing up at midnight and begging for his help?

The Devil Blues by iknewaman

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto, Iida Tenya, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Yaoyorozu Momo, Jirou Kyouka Additional Tags: Police Detective AU, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Alternate Universe, Station Cooperation Operation, Strangers to Lovers, Quirkless All Might, Police Captain All Might Summary: The 78th precinct's police captain, Toshinori Yagi, has volunteerd his squad to help implement the mayor's wish of increasing the successful cooperation between the city police and active Pro-Heroes. Each detective is to be assigned a Pro-Hero who will shadow them for two weeks, and the operation has been dubbed the 'Station Cooperation Operation'.

Although it is not well-received by those involved, Izuku Midoriya, current detective at the 78th precinct and loyal follower of captain Toshinori's ideals, believes that the operation will be a success. If his captain says it will succeed, there isn't a doubt in Izuku's mind that it will.

That is until he meets his assigned Pro-Hero.

While You Were Sleeping by Belkacaramelka

Rating: Mature Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Fake Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Past Midoriya Izuku/Shindou You, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Shinsou Hitoshi, Hatsume Mei, Yaoyorozu Momo, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, While you were sleeping (1995) AU, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Ketsubutsu Midoriya Izuku, Fake engagement with person in coma, Mistaken Identity, Izuku rescues Todoroki and is mistaken for his fiance, Bakugou thinks it's BS, Bakugou doesn't know what he's in for, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, Midoriya Izuku is a Vicious Little Shit, Shinso and Mei are the new Dekusquad, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Ketsubutsu cameos, Bad Puns, Gratuitous use of pop songs, Freudian Slips, Train Accident Scenario, Love of cats, Social Media, Rom-com, smutty dreams, Mutual Pining, Bakugo Katsuki needs to fight his feelings out, Angst, Aged-Up Character(s), Dance Combat, Breakup Recovery Kit, Monoma cameos, Hidden Rairpairs, Extra Proposals, Misunderstandings, Fluff and Humor, Intelligence Agent Deku, now with art, now with epilogue Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku.

--

Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose.

Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person.

Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

Welcome to Magnolia Springs! by pearliegrimm

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Multi Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Kaminari Denki/Kirishima Eijirou, Asui Tsuyu/ Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto/ Iida Tenya Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Original Child Character(s), Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki Additional Tags: THIS SHIT IS JUST LIKE OVER THE HEDGE, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Katsuki is gonna square up on all the PTA mothers, The solid and profound use of 'fuck' every couple of sentences, Homophobia, Drug Use, Abuse, Trans Character Summary: Bakugou Katsuki was going to tear up this shitty suburbia, one school bake sale at a time.

Amongst the quinoa encrusted mundanity of 'fuck-knows' springs, Katsuki is in for a lot more than just another relocation.

Payphone by flowercafe *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Todoroki Shouto, Yaoyorozu Momo, Hawks (My Hero Academia), Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Dabi (My Hero Academia), Uraraka Ochako, Shinsou Hitoshi Additional Tags: vigilantes, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Wrong Number AU, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, more tags will be added as I go, Canon-Typical Violence Summary: Izuku’s in trouble — like, SOS trouble. Lucky for him, he’s one phone call away from salvation. Hopefully his trembling fingers dial the right number, because it would really suck if he accidentally called a stranger right now.

or

The “I was walking home alone in the middle of the night and someone started following me so I ran into this phone booth with a lock on the door to call for help, but my hands were shaking so badly I accidentally dialed the wrong number and I don’t even know who you are but please help me" au — ft. a Quirkless Izuku whose misdial connects him to the personal cell line of pro hero Ground Zero.

dirty chai by bishounen_curious(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Ashido Mina/Kirishima Eijirou Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu, Kirishima Eijirou, Iida Tenya, Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki, i love a good ensemble fic Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, Alcohol, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Consent, Developing Relationship, Fraternities & Sororities, Power Dynamics, Mental Health Issues, Customer Service is Great,Barista!Izuku, jackasspatron!katsuki Summary: Y’know, Izuku doesn’t mind his part-time barista gig. It’s painless money — he likes his tiny, student union coffeeshop, likes his coworkers, his customers.

All customers, but this one.

Cinnamon Spice by Sonday(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Shindou You, Uraraka Ochako, Yaoyorozu Momo, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Winter, Autumn, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Flirting, Comfort Summary: A cozy story about a sweet coffee shop bartender and a smoldering customer.

Let Me Down Slowly by Brofriend Writes(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Not Rated Archive Warning: Underage Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters:Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Komori Kinoko, Yanagi Reiko, Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Shouto, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Band Fic, High School, Aged up characters, Battle of the Bands, Singer Katsuki Bakugou, Singer Ochako Uraraka, Drummer Iida Tenya, Guitarist Izuku Midoriya, Alec Benjamin Music, Soft pop music, Indie Music, band club, non-beta'd, Bassist Kirishima Eijiro, Eventual Smut, Underage - Freeform, Consensual Underage Sex, Kissing, Fluff, Cute, sexy bakugou, Bottom Bakugou Katsuki, Top Midoriya Izuku, Fluff and Smut, First Time Blow Jobs, Sexual Tension Summary: When Plus Ultra's lead singer loses her voice right before The Battle of the Bands, Izuku and Iida have to find a female lead singer with high range ASAP in order to still participate.

Luckily or unluckily, Izuku finds salvation in his angry classmate, Katsuki Bakugou, who he bribes into helping them.

Notes: Going to be a cute, short-ish fic. Maybe 15k-25k words in total. Just had this on my mind lately and needed to get singer!bakugou out of my system and hopefully clear my writers block. Enjoy watching Izuku lose his mind while trying to process pretty Katsuki singing :)

Painting Flowers by Arysa(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Ashido Mina/Uraraka Ochako, Jirou Kyouka/Kaminari Denki Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, everyone else Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Tattoo Artist Midoriya, Flower Shop Bakugo, Strangers to Lovers, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Tags Are Hard, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Rating May Change, Aged-Up Character(s), Drinking, Slow Burn, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Fluff and Humor, Let Them Kiss 2019 Summary: Bakugo Katsuki has one rule: Do NOT Date.

Well, there were more but that one in particular had served him well over the years in avoiding the drama and the neediness that came with relationships. Katsuki doesn't have time for that shit. The only things he needs are his friends, his family, and occasional flings that end after a single night.

However, when Katsuki has to take a temporary job position at his parents' flower shop, he stumbles upon one Midoriya Izuku, a quiet regular that simply comes to the shop to sketch flowers all day long. The man even somehow has the ability to make butterflies erupt in the blonde's stomach without uttering a single word. And when he does finally speak, he is able to send Katsuki's heart racing in a way he hasn't felt in years.

Will he be willing to compromise his own rules, his own goals, in order to know more about the green haired artist with the nervous smile?

Bombing King by brichibi *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, Hakamata Tsunagu | Best Jeanist, Todoroki Shouto, Yaoyorozu Momo Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Rock Stars, Celebrity Crush, Secret Crush, Masturbation, Concerts, Backstage, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia) Summary: Izuku Midoriya is a top student at a prestigious university who, like many others, listens to music while he studies. While looking for a new CD with his friends, he discovers the lyrical stylings of one Katsuki Bakugou, a rather aggressive musician who definitely earns that "parental advisory" label. It's not something Midoriya would listen to. No. Certainly not. He's not buying his CD. He's not watching his interviews. And he, most definitely, is not crushing on him.

Right?

Album Title in Progress by Allotrope *

Rating: Mature Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, BakuDeku - Relationship, DekuBaku - Relationship Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Kirishima Eijirou, Sero Hanta, Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Shinsou Hitoshi, Uraraka Ochako, Todoroki Shouto, Dabi (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Aged-Up Character(s), Bakugou was in a boy band, Bakusquad (My Hero Academia), as a kid though, quirkless au, baku doesn't know what the sex is, i mean he does but like, Memes, Slow Burn, they keep their hero names, cuz music people use stage names so, lil bit of angst, Music Business AU, more like love at first hear, izuku's a smartass, Eventual Smut, Romantic Comedy, they're all so dumb, dadmight Summary: "I mean, technically, sure. Anyone able to sing can sing. But am I good at it?" Deku left the pen alone so he could gesture as though he was weighing two different invisible objects. "...Yeah, I'm okay."

Now that got a chuckle out of Katsuki.

"I wouldn't call that just 'okay'."

--

OR; Izuku's singing makes Katsuki realize sex is Real™ and uses those feelings to make a bomb-ass(lol get it? cuz his quirk is...) album while also helping a self-doubting Izuku realize how fire his mixtape is.

the baking prodigy in the all-might pajamas by lucyheartfilia(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya/Uraraka Ochako Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Additional Tags: College AU, Fluff, Basically a bunch of college shenanigans, Strangers to Reluctant Friendship to Friendship to Lovers, Beware Katsuki's Colorful Language, Art Major Katsuki, Physics Major Uraraka, Psychology Major Iida, Literature major but is really good in the kitchen Izuku, All-Might is a Comic Book Character, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia) Summary: College AU in where angry art major Bakugou Katsuki kind of, sort of falls in love with a cute, green-haired nerd that likes to bake in his all-might pjs at questionable hours of the night.

The Space Between by Kanae_vR *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Mature Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Ashido Mina/Kirishima Eijirou Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina, Kaminari Denki, Uraraka Ochako, Jirou Kyouka, Todoroki Shouto. Monoma Neito, Kendou Itsuka, Toga Himiko, Dabi (My Hero Academia), Iida Tenya, Midoriya Inko Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, POV Midoriya Izuku, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Constipation, Eventual Romance, Character Development, Fluff and Angst, Developing Relationship, Aged-Up Character(s), Mild Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - Punk, Explicit Language, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Band Fic, Photography, Minor Violence, Injury Recovery Summary: Holding his expensive camera tightly between his hands, Midoriya Izuku looked up at the once-white letters displayed on the black storefront banner. “The Hard Luck Bar,” he murmured to himself, unsure if he was getting ready to enter or flee.

Amateur photographer Midoriya Izuku is stuck in a rut and desperate for a change of pace. Deep in his city's grimy underbelly, he finds exactly what he's looking for in the form of an underground punk sensation on the verge of their big break, fronted by a foul-mouthed firework of a human being.

Loud, brash and passionate, Izuku may have just found the creative spark he needed, as well as something new to set his soul ablaze.

to you, on the other side of the screen by stars_go_dim(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku Characters: Izuku Midoriya, Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Uraraka Ochako, Kirishima Eijirou, everyone Additional Tags: Youtuber AU, Youtube!Au, bakugou is a gamer, midoriya is a beauty guru, kirishima has a prank channel, weird content, Fluff, Slow Burn, izuku doesn’t have a foot fetish, I swear, Attempt at humour, references to youtubers, kinda ooc ??, cute stuff, I’m sorry, kinda gross tbh, izuku os beautiful tf, how does bakugou survive, Social Media, bkg plays the guitar, Weird shiz, ok bkg also does vlogs, he is also lowkey flirty, Bakugou is bad at feelings, izuku is such an angel, ok bkg is not as violent as he is in canon, but he still swears sometimes, implied KiriKami, izuku is the sweetest boy hhhhh, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, no powers au, no quirks, videos described in detail, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Vomiting Summary: Bakugou is a popular YouTuber when he suddenly stumbles upon Midoriya’s makeup channel. But why is he so interested in some random kid he found on YouTube?

or alternatively

that YouTube au nobody asked for

Drive It Like You Stole It by OpalApparition *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M, F/M Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya/Uraraka Ochako, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Kirishima Eijirou Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijirou, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Chisaki Kai | Overhaul, Toga Himiko, inko, Tonoshiri Additional Tags: Crimes & Criminals, Organized Crime, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), Slow Burn, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, Kidnapping, Death, Comfort, Redemption, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Content, LGBTQ Themes, Fast Cars, stealing cars, Theft, Gangs, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Oblivious Midoriya Izuku, Street Racing, Smut, Drug Dealing, Street Fights, Self-Esteem Issues, Minor Character Death, Size Difference Summary: In the seedy city underground, Katsuki Bakugo spent his whole life jumping from one adrenaline high to another. Stealing and racing cars is the name of the game, and Katsuki plays to win. One chance meeting with the shy but feisty Izuku Midoriya during a job changes the rules - Fighting to maintain control of his high speed life, Katsuki finds himself on a crash course with rival gangs, police, and the consequences of his own actions.

Introverted masters student Izuku Midoriya spent his whole life playing by the rules. One drunken bar fight has him accelerating into a world of theft, sex, drugs, and drag racing with no signs of slowing down. Oh. And having a cop for a roommate doesn't help.

or

the street racing car-jacking BNHA AU that literally no one asked for... with illustration!

The Grand Prize Is by Go_Beyond *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Ashido Mina, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu, Iida Tenya, Monoma Neito, Todoroki Shouto, Jirou Kyouka, Yaoyorozu Momo, Kendou Itsuka, Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Shiozaki Ibara, Toga Himiko, Dabi (My Hero Academia), Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Japanese Next Top Model, Older Bakugou Katsuki, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), katsuki is a model, Midoriya looks up to Bakugou, Eventual Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Protective Kirishima Eijirou, Sassy Midoriya Izuku, Toga is an asshole, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor Being An Asshole, Todoroki Shouto is a Dork, Iida Tenya is a Good Friend Summary: Midoriya Izuku had always looked up to Bakugou Katsuki's elegance on the runway and even more so on the big screen, and somehow he found himself standing in front of him. On the next episode of Japan's Next Top Model- who will make it to the top?

Izuku's Home for Wayward Pets by glamour_weeb *(Updating/Incomplete)

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, Shinsou Hitoshi, Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina, Todoroki Shouto, Yoarashi Inasa Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Alpha Bakugou Katsuki, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Knotting, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, animal/human hybrids, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Abuse, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Breeding Kink, Praise Kink, Hurt/Comfort, Possessive Behavior, Mutual Pining Summary: Izuku works at the Bureau of Companion Protection as a rehabilitator for abused and abandoned Companions, animal-human hybrids. He’s seen his fair share of cruelty cases and even fostered a few Companions, but he’s never had a Companion of his own, until now. After rescuing Katsuki from a life in an illegal, underground Companion fighting ring, Izuku must take in the wolfdog that no one else can handle.

Eventually, Katsuki comes to love his new home, as well as his new Master.

How to Train Your Useless Dragon by Mikacrispy

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Ashido Mina/Kirishima Eijirou Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Masaru Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Barbarian Bakugou Katsuki, Dragon Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku is Toothless, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, romcom, Romantic Comedy, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Genderbending, Genderfluid Character, it's a magic dragon, Don't expect my magic dragons to stick to human gender norms Summary: Bakugou Katsuki needs to kill a dragon to take its teeth and become a warrior of his tribe.

But, what? Why the fuck doesn't this dragon have teeth?

Written from the promp "What if Izuku was the dragon?" Shamelessly How to Train Your Dragon inspired.

[yellowind-writes]

The Dark Wave: Prologue

Boku no Hero Academia Male!Reader-Insert x Various

Rated M for violence (blood, gore, general villainy) and language. Link to intro post + index.

“BASTARD!” The glint of a dagger reflecting neon lights. The scrape of shoes against wet concrete. The damp smell that lingers after a hard rain, an unpleasant, oily scent that’s particular to the city and it’s rotting streets. Senses are on high alert but it’s all a blur. Like the vague residue of a long, troublesome dream. Some flashes vivid and others a mesh of color with no apparent connection or meaning. “FUCKING BASTARD!”

A sharp bark of laughter, insincere and mocking echoes through the dark alley. “I’m surprised it...you’re a fool...two and two...” There are pieces missing. Important pieces. It’s as if you’re listening to a record skipping over beats in a song. “I...once...and I’ll take...again...”

“YOU LIED TO ME!” A surge of darkness, even darker than the surrounding shadows, rising like an inky curtain and rushing through the small space like a storm contained within a snow globe, swirling furiously when it’s shaken. “YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!”

There’s a woman crying outside the door. Her grief is the only thing to listen to besides the heart monitor, beeping out a calm rhythm to remind you that you’re alive. You’d love to go and tell her to shut up if it wasn’t for the fact you’re cuffed to a hospital bed and woozy from whatever medicine the staff has been giving you (mostly to ensure you don’t try to escape rather than because you’re in any pain). Whoever she is, she’s been at it for a while.

Your head hurts, throbbing in time with your pulse.

“A necessary evil...I...you...so sad it’s turned...” A scream that could’ve been yours, could’ve been someone else’s. Raw and tormented, nigh beastly. Sirens.

A gaunt man enters the room holding a scuffed up shoe box in his large, bony hands. He looks like he needs bed rest more than you do with how exhausted and frail he appears. He says nothing as he shuffles across the linoleum and settles himself in a chair beside you. The corners of his mouth pulled into a frown and his shoulders tense.

“[Name], right?” It’s not a real question so you don’t dignify it with a response, just wait for his raspy voice to continue. There’s a glint of hope in his startlingly blue eyes--

“I. AM. HERE!” A crashing boom. There are windows breaking. A car alarm going off. You aren’t on your feet anymore. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

--but what he wishes to gain from this little visit is beyond you. “I’m Yagi. I’ve brought some things for you to look at if you wouldn’t mind.”

You would mind, actually, but the lid to the show box is already being removed with slow care. It’s almost as if he’s worried any sudden movements will startle you. Inside the box is a pile of photographs and some worn old action figures with chipped paint.

You can’t help but scoff when you recognize one of them as Endeavor. The model is from earlier on in his career and manufactured cheap but it’s impossible to mistake that flaming hair for anyone else. The painted eyebrows are furrowed to mirror his signature glower. What’s this stranger doing bringing you toys and mementos?

He hands you one of the pictures. It proves difficult to hold up for examination due to being restrained but there’s no helping it. As timid as this man is acting one doubts he’d be comfortable aiding their removal. The metal around your wrists is cold and the skin irritated.

It’s a glossy capture of two boys sitting side by side on a park bench. They’re eating slices of watermelon as big as their heads. One of them has a mop of dark curls and freckles dusting his round cheeks. He’s staring at the camera with a 1,000 watt smile while the boy with [color] eyes is oblivious, munching on his summer treat and focused on something out of frame. His [color] hair is messy and there’s dirt on his chin like he’d rolled around in the bushes moments prior. They’re wearing matching All Might t-shirts.

“I’m disappointed...so young...villainy is...” You’ve seen many different expressions on heroes and wannabe heroes alike. Shock, disgust, even fear. But pity has never been one of them. You like pity even less than contempt.

It means nothing to you. Nothing at all.

“What’s the point of this?” You ask, staring blankly at the photo and then turning a glare on this Yagi fellow. He let’s out a deep sigh, deflating even more into the baggy clothes that pool around him. You try to wrack your brain to understand the situation. Try to get why you’re still chilling out in the recovery bay of some nondescript hospital instead of wearing a muzzle in maximum security.

Villains that get caught are put away and never heard of again.

“[Name], how...how far back do you remember?” He leans forward in anticipation of the answer, fingers tented and elbows on his knees. Something tells you he already has an idea of how you’ll answer. It throws you for a second. This entire thing is like a lead up to something else. “The doctors said the head trauma from the fight might’ve caused...” He trails off and waves a hand, no need for further explanation to understand what he’s trying to get at.

“What’s it to you old man?” You find the vase of daisies on the nightstand suddenly very interesting. The sun coming through the window lights up the white and yellow petals in a warm, almost ethereal glow. That woman, the one no longer sobbing out in the hall, brought them into the room earlier. She had pretty, long [color] hair but you don’t know her. You’ve never seen her or anyone similar in your life though she acted like she knew you.

At the very least they’re a much needed decoration in this sparse room. Everything else is in shades of grey. It’s terribly clinical even for a medical setting. A prison cell would be just as inviting.

“His quirk is strong...we could...be a shame to...if it failed...a waste of...”

The heart monitor picks up the pace, green pixels jumping across the screen to draw higher, steeper mountains.

Shadowy figures closing in, faces obscured. The room is dark but there’s a blinding light in front of your eyes. You can’t move. There’s something stuck in your arm (get it out, get it out, get it OUT). You want to throw up.

Your head hurts.

There’s a long silence where Yagi simply waits for you to give him an actual answer. With what little mobility you have you flick the picture into his lap. You’d been aiming for the box now perched beside him on a tray but missed.

“I remember getting my skull cracked open by All Might, if that’s what you mean. You some sort of reporter digging for a scoop? Because I don’t think there’s a story here.” You’d have the spirit to be snarkier if you weren’t drowsy still. You feel like your body is a lead weight that’s about to sink into the hard mattress and down further still into the floor. The bandages wrapped around your head itch too.

Yagi seems disappointed by this. He faces the floor, his blond hair hiding most of his face. The strands look as dry as straw. Does he even use conditioner? Or maybe he just uses too much hairspray?

“[Name], I don’t mean your recent fight with your former ‘colleague’ and resulting arrest. I mean your past. The life you had before crime.” It strikes you as he’s saying this that his sunken eyes are the most alive part of him. They’re tremendously intense as they bear into your own.

“I didn’t have a life before crime. I grew up on the streets, learned to look after myself the hard way.” It’s not entirely a lie. Your nails scrape against the stiff cotton sheets as your fingers curl into fists. “I’m pretty sure you can figure out how it went from there.”

. . .

Yagi slides the door closed behind him with a huff. This case will be a tough one. Seeing as he’s the one who apprehended you he feels a certain amount of responsibility. Not to mention learning of the tragic circumstances regarding your status as a criminal and...

He’s been aware the world is an unfair place for quite a while but it still feels like ripping open a painful wound every time he learns it anew.

“I think,” It’s hard to say. Especially to the woman standing rigid and forlorn against the wall. Her eyes bloodshot and her nose red. To have waited for so many years for a phone call only to get the news that she did. That they found her son but he wouldn’t be coming home. “I suspect his formative memories have been wiped in order to brainwash him...he doesn’t even recognize himself as a child in pictures.” He says what both of them already suspected was so.

A second before the woman draws in a shuddering breath, “What are you, or they, going to do with him? With my boy?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.”

Hopefully.

“Hey kid...use...from now on...for me.”

[frostbitebakery]

Inspired by that photoshoot and subsequent meltdown of adorableness. @stevebuckythyla was a real treasure and made me a moodboard to go along with the ficlet.

So. Essentially they have no idea how it happened. Is the thing.

Clint asked Steve to help him on a mission and the last Bucky has of Steve is the sleepy-distant feel of lips on his forehead in the middle of the night.

It was supposed to be some wannabe villain intimidation deal Clint needed some muscle and parental disappointment for. So naturally Steve jumped on the chance and took two days off from the flower shop he part-timed at. Bottom line: Steve would always be ready to brawl for the good fight. Bottom line #2: There was, in no way, supposed to be magic involved.

Bucky is honestly stunned when, four days later, he opens the door and Clint holds out a barking, struggling puppy; no Steve in sight.

The dark circles under Clint’s eyes speak volumes and are weirdly fascinating. “He hasn’t slept in three days,” is the explanation. “Neither have I.” The puppy barks louder.

With a huff Clint thrusts the little dog at him and Bucky takes it automatically. The puppy yawns and immediately drops off in Bucky’s hands. It’s... it’s really adorable.

Clint turns to go.

“What the fuck, Barton,” Bucky hisses and kicks at the back of Clint’s knee to make him stop walking. “Where’s Steve? What happened? Did you steal this dog? What happened?”

“Right,” Clint says.

“Right,” Bucky parrots back. “And what are you wearing?”

Clint winces and suspiciously tries to hide the baseball cap declaring It Burns Twice.

“Are those bullet holes?” Bucky asks incredulously. He really, really wants to rub the burgeoning migraine out of his temples but puppy.

“You see, we had to go undercover at this chili eating contest and then there was that jewel heist with the watermelon activists...”

Bucky holds up one hand, his other cradling the puppy. It’s so tiny. “Make coffee while you explain what the fuck is going on.”

“You’re a fucking rude host, Barnes,” Clint yawns but goes to the kitchen willingly enough when Bucky gently prompts him with a kick in the ass.

“My hands are full.” Bucky holds up the puppy demonstratively. It sniffles in sleep. Bucky is gonna die and coo any minute now.

---

“What.”

“Yeah,” Clint yawns again despite three cups of coffee. “That was my reaction too before the warehouse blew up with us still inside.”

“What.”

Clint gestures to the puppy - Steve, apparently - snuggled against Bucky’s chest. “I got hit on the head but he dragged me out.”

Bucky looks at the puppy - Steve, Jesus Christ. He fits in both of Bucky’s hands. It’s all a bit mind blowing at 4 AM on a Tuesday. Bucky wants to coo again at the small drool bubble on the puppy’s snout. “He, like this, got you out of an exploding warehouse.”

“Right?” Clint replies in amazement. “It was awesome.” He gets up after slapping his thighs and Bucky follows helplessly. Clint rummages through the linen closet for a larger blanket than the one on the couch. “He’s been anxious though—“

“I wonder why.”

“And hasn’t slept at all the whole time. So I haven’t slept the whole time because puppy brain,” he nods to Steve and dumps the blanket on the couch, “wanted to walk the whole way back just to get to you.”

Bucky is oddly touched. Steve the puppy snuggles his little head under Bucky’s chin and Bucky fights back manly tears. “You call Strange yet?”

Clint drops his pants and reveals the newest line of Black Widow themed boxer shorts. “Yeah. He’s gonna be here tomorrow...” He looks around. “Today? Evening. Night.” And with that he just kind off falls over like a sack of flour, and is asleep before his dust speckled and grimy head hits the couch cushions and the very nice decorative pillows Bucky and Steve had picked out.

Sniffling and wriggling make Bucky look down and eerie yet astonishingly familiar blue eyes stare back at him.

“Hey Steve,” Bucky greets softly.

The puppy paws at his shoulders and his little snout turns into the biggest dog grin Bucky’s ever seen. The wriggling intensifies, the small head buffing against him, puppy tongue happily bathing his chin.

“Missed you, too, buddy,” Bucky chuckles, resisting the urge to start bawling over the cuteness, and goes to their bedroom. “Strange is gonna fix you later. Now we’re gonna sleep. It’s four in the morning and you’re extremely cuddly right now.” He lies down carefully, pulling the blanket over them in the process. “As soon as you’re human again, you and I are gonna have words.”

Steve whines and forcibly snuggles himself between Bucky’s chin and chest.

“Love you, too.”

[peakyposts]

Some Finn and Michael things:

Finn being forced to give Michael a tour of the neighbourhood when he first arrives and Finn’s just like “but he looks like a NERD” 

Finn literally avoiding him all the time because save the Street Cred or hang out with this Village Boy

But then Michael tells him a story about how he used to steal pies off a neighbour’s windowsill and Finn’s like “aii, yah, cool, I can hang out with a pie stealer but you need to step your game up” 

Finn teaching Michael smoking tricks and admits it’s the only reason he does it

Michael going to Finn whenever he fucks something up when he first starts working because he’s still scared of the other three and because Finn might not be a direct part of it all but he knows what he’s doing

Lol imagine Finn standing behind Tommy while he’s talking to Michael and he’s mouthing answers to him and like Tommy congratulates Michael on his hard work and Michael owes Finn a fucking Ton

Michael: “How are the girls in Small Heath?”

Finn, who’s been friends with all of the ones in their age group and would not want this Tommy wannabe around any of them: “Go to London.”

But seriously, Finn is wingman #1 because everyone instantly loves him and would listen if he says someone is a good guy

Them being jealous of each other 

Michael, because Finn’s one of the brothers and he would never be one of them. And Finn was Polly’s son way longer than he ever was and the life Finn had with Polly should have been the life he had

Finn, because Michael is this huge part of the company now and he’s still a button boy who can’t even do his job even though he knows the company inside and out and could do Michael’s job better than him (as proven in a point above)

But they talk that shit out...like men

It kinda ends with Finn almost decking Michael but everything is said and done and they’re guys so they fist bump that shit and are done with it

Polly leaving the house when the two of them are just sitting at the kitchen table playing cards and returns like 10 hours later and they’re still in the same spots and its the equivalent of 10 hours straight of video games cuz Polly’s just like

“You two becoming friends has been the worst thing that’s happened to either of you” 

They high five and just go back to playing

Polly’s actually just happy Finn finally has someone around his age to hang out with

(other than Isaiah)

You know that scene in Victorious when Beck comes with a watermelon to cheer up Robby? That’s Michael and Finn’s relationship 

Michael telling Finn about his first time as if it was an accomplishment and Finn’s just like yeah and?? “Anyone with two pounds and a dick can have a fuck, tell me when you don’t pay for it.” 

Michael’s the only one who knows Finn doesn’t have sex with that prostitute (other than Ada but as I’ve said many times, Finn tells Ada everything so it’s just implied at this point)

Michael’s also the only one who knows when Finn does have sex because he can read Finn like a book and he fucking knows that smile like the back on his hand

“So who was the unlucky girl?”

“Girl? That happened years ago”

“What?”

“I don’t hide it...”

“No, not that, you’ve had sex and no one found out???”

lol yo, Straight Guy Michael Gray when he first finds out Finn’s bi: “If Finn’s bi...can I be too?” he asks Finn questions and Finn’s just like

“If you realize that you are, Isaiah’s mine.”

okay, anyway

I’d love a Finn and Michael friendship 

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Old glee spoof liveblogs

Yuè [glee spoof 4] so yeah i decided to watch all of simgm's glee stuff (glee spoof, glee minisodes, gleedo) and i am at spoof 4

Yuè Oh this one has no captions Yuè MICHAEL IS HERE!!!! Yuè "THE FUCKING AUDITORIUM FINN" Yuè I've been singing the Obsession with Finn song at the top of.mylungs today cause what a jam Yuè IT IS MY BOY BLAAAAAAAAINE Yuè there were a lot of guest stars Yuè GO EMMA Yuè TATER TOTS Yuè "Nice mugshot Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 5] time for rachel's nose job

Yuè ah.. no captions Yuè "but we'll pretend that never happened cause we're good at doing that with storylines" Yuè YOOO WILLIAM IS HERE FOR SAM Yuè AND ALSO SCOTT (I think that was the name of the actor before Kyle) AS PUCK Yuè glee did Wannabe in an episode but it wasn't the same because Brother's riffs weren't in there Yuè "is that all you ever do?" TRUTH Yuè I love it when Hemo smiles in the background Yuè thanks Emma for slamming Will and his "teaching" Yuè "what in the fuckity fuck fuck was that shit??" Yuè nickname one: lemon drop Yuè I love this part Yuè "where did that piano come from?" Yuè SORRY SIMGM BUT CHECK PLEASE JUST GOT UPDATED I NEED T READ IT Yuè okay okay I am going to continue cause it hasn't blown up yet so I can't blog about omgcp yet Yuè I don't like Santana faking the sexual harassment claim tho Yuè ZOOMBA Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out the double standards between male and female characters Yuè "a sad attempt of giving me a storyline" Yuè damm Sister did great job on the performances Yuè "Nice choir Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 6] WHERE'S MA CROWN? Yuè "isn't that what you did" "yeah but.. I'm Finn" Yuè "THAT'S WHY YOU BETTER ROLL" Yuè "I can't believe we're stupid enough to believe that" Yuè "wow... misjudged that one" Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out so many plot holes Yuè "you can't fight the power of Brittana" Yuè I FORGOT ABOUT JESSE FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS Yuè I can't believe Michael did Jesse and Kurt's voice Yuè *voices Yuè YES YES YES THE BLAINE SONG IS STILL MY JAM WHY ISN'T IT ON THEIR SPOTIFY? ?? Yuè "yeah if you're gonna fight at least hit each other" Yuè THIS S.MY FAVORITE PART OF ALL OF GLEE SPOOFS GO FOR IT KURT Yuè nickname two: sugary plumb pie Yuè THIS ENTIRE EPISODE IS WONDERFUL Yuè "ONE MORE TIME" Yuè "Nice poem Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 7] This is over 30 minutes long that's what I call dedication

Yuè " half of the stuff that happens to us makes no damn sense" Yuè I still can't believe Boss built the entire New York set herself Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" fuuuuck I should wear my I have big plans t-shirt Yuè well Quinn.. Cats is back on Broadway now aka Rachel was just 6 years early Yuè "it's no time for logic Kurt" Yuè SAVE THE HORSES Yuè "I regret nothing" I love the glee spoof Artie Yuè I just love the entire glee spoof Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" Yuè I am just in constant amazement of the New York set Yuè I'm now wearing the Big Plans t-shirt just around the time Quinn goes crazy about her big plans Yuè Oh god after six years I finally get the "Bootay" thing Yuè "well this could've been a lo-" Yuè "shut the fuck up Finn" Yuè I remember Boss saying Michael worked really hard on the song Yuè Boss sounds so much like Lea it's unreal maybe Boss should be on Elsie Fest this year Yuè why doesn't the Sims 4 have spiral staircases yet? Yuè "you know you're probably gonna change your mind by the end of the episode, right?" Yuè "PLANS! Big ones!" Yuè "Okay first of all: breath mints. You needs on" Yuè Brittany is the only sane one here Yuè quite frankly. . Sunshine beating Rachel up is more believable than Rachel's sudden change of heart Yuè "I'm Finn" Yuè "that might change by the end of the episode though" true true true Yuè SMACK THAT Yuè I like this song more than Pretending but honestly I just really don't like Pretending Yuè there's so many great music in this episode Yuè I actually used to have Simgm music on my phone including this song Yuè the part with Santana and Rachel is my favourite Yuè nickname 3: pancakes Yuè nickname 4: gingerbread dough sprinkled lightly toasted graham cracker bunny" Yuè "who got tad more songs than me" "WHAT?" Yuè aaaah my Brittana shipping heart Yuè "NOW MARCH MOTHERFUCKER" Yuè "oh and. ... Tater tots" Yuè woah Brianna voiced both Terri and Sunshine?

Yuè [glee spoof 8] (Jim Cantiello voice) SEASON 3. The season where we appreciate Tina.

Yuè JUDGING YOU WRITERS Yuè "I don't have any (smile)" Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè "cinnamon toast" "Finn!" Yuè nickname 5: Pop Tart Yuè honestly Blaine should've just fucked stayed at Dalton Yuè what happened to Dianna's dog? Yuè "... than Kurt dropped Mercedes" oH SHIT Yuè THIS IS THE START OF UNICORN Yuè nickname 6: Candy Cane Yuè GOD BLESS THE BLAINE SONG AND BOSS'S BROTHER'S VOICE Yuè "I didn't do it" Yuè ah the angry student is back Yuè Oh wait is this where Jordan started voicing Sue? Yuè "Because they don't know what else to do with my character" Yuè good thing that glee spoof continues the hair jokes Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè this song was also on my phone Yuè I think I had Breakout, Tonight, Blaine song, Faith, Gotta Be Love With You and another one on my phone Yuè OH THE CELL BLOCK TANGO Yuè watching this really makes me want to play the Sims 2 again but... I have a storyline on the Sims 4 aka a fifth generation family Yuè QUINN FALLING GETS ME EVERY TIME Yuè name of Beth 1: Carol Yuè "holy crap I can't believe I'm actually saying meaningful lines" Yuè nadiacreek actually made a ranking of parents in glee and she put Shelby on it twice Yuè good for Beth and bad for Rachel Yuè "IHBBP. I have big baby plans!" Yuè "Damn, you Brittana"

Yuè [glee spoof 9] and we appreciate Tina Yuè Oh I love this song Yuè "Asian" "Asian F" "stereotype" "stop doing glee club" "no" "I'm glad we talked this out" Yuè BRITT IN A MONKEY SUIT Yuè name of Beth 2 and 3: Susan, Mary Yuè name of Beth 4: Jessica Yuè THEY SAY THAT LIFE IS TATER TOT AR R Y OU FOR REAL?? Yuè RORY UM IRISH Yuè I love the cast list Yuè and I also love Mercedes's riffs Yuè was Nathan actually Irish? I don't think do cause he was in one of those chats Yuè "I was told you are too" True Yuè "We apprecia-" "Shut the fuck up" Yuè "COURAGE" Yuè I actually wanted the courage t-shirt before I got the I have big plans one Yuè Oh man I miss the old crack days of jokes of Finn telling Blainers to sit down Yuè AND THERE IS BRIANNA AS SUGAR MOTTA Yuè "what the f-" Yuè "H-" "stop you're embarrassing yourself" Yuè I LOVE THAT FINN SMILE Yuè "Told you"

Yuè [glee spoof 10] that time a parody handled Santana's coming out story better than the actual show

Yuè I love the warning Yuè "I've been working in keeping my eyebrows still" Yuè "I think I'll go wax my lasagna" is one of my favourite lines ever Yuè OH B OY SEBASTIAN Yuè nickname 7???: snuggle toes Yuè a background sim is wearing a fez I love it Yuè FUCKING HELL THE VEGAN THING Yuè "Tina what the fuck" "Bitch" Yuè Y'ALL IT IS TIME FOR THE CELL BLOCK TANGO THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE Yuè also who the hell did these sometimes inaccurate captions? Yuè kudos to Boss for all these dialogues Yuè "Found out he couldn't handle BIG PLANS" Yuè damm I'm still in awe bc f the Cell Block Tango Yuè "we're here to save Rachel's virginity" Yuè nickname 8: Watermelon Lips Yuè KLAINE DID WATERMELON BEFORE IT WAS COOL Yuè I've drawn so many Stop the violence things Yuè Lauren is creepin Yuè GO SIMGM GO SIMGM GO SIMGM YES YES YES THANKS FOR THIS SCENE Yuè I love the big camera and also them saying the storyline is stupid Yuè also we needed more of Brittany supporting Santana during this come on fuck off glee Yuè I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABUT TIS SONG Yuè Quinn is just smiling while Santana is beating the living shit out of Finn Yuè "Can't say I didn't warn you" Yuè FINN SINGING WHILE DRUNK AND NAKED IS MY FAVE Hannah sebbbbb Yuè Hannah: did you watch simgm ????????

Yuè [glee spoof 11] time for simgm to do it right

Yuè it is true tho bc Santana suddenly got suspended for violence and I'm like... FIGGINS HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THESE KIDS DO ON A DAILY BASIS? Yuè Man the actual episode was such bullshit Yuè "then we're all in the wrong club" Yuè Brittany saying the truth Yuè the entire Quick storyline is so weird Yuè "CHEESEBURGER" Yuè tbh this song is as boring as the song they actually sung on glee so congrats simgm Yuè I'll never get why Santana was so offended by Klaine singing Perfect to her in support bc they know how hard it is in a straight world Yuè whereas the straight dude who outed her sang a boring ass unnecessary song and Santana was crying because she was so ///moved/// Yuè "unions and ass????" Yuè nickname 9: Dolphin Nose? Yuè "I'M KURT BITCH" Yuè Brittana should've sung in the actual glee sigh glee this was such a disappointment Yuè BRITTANA DANCING THE SMUSSLE Yuè honestly suspending Rachel was the best that could have happened because it gave us a killer Rachel free setlist Yuè "Do you people know math???" Yuè "Not completely. I have big plans" "there she goes again" Yuè ZISES Yuè "and clap like a seal" Yuè "It's random and out of character" Yuè glee and its writers suck at romance Yuè "QUINN HEEL" Yuè THIS IS THE SONG THAT WAS ALSO ON MY PHONE Yuè "I can still remember when I was 18. and here I am at 17, a woman"

Yuè [glee spoof 12] there weren't any songs in it

Yuè NVM I WAS WATCHING EPISODE 13 THERE ARE SONGS IN EP 12 Yuè "oh you know me and my big plans" Yuè "we hold hands, ran into Kurt and Blaine, and I moved two weeks later" Yuè unfortunately the old channel doesn't have captions Yuè "allow me to show you my excitement. ..... " I actually use that quote in real life Yuè why can't Shue do anything by himself Yuè "it always freaks me out when he decides to actually teach" Yuè I love these moments Yuè "my cat will eat you alive" Yuè I just remember how uncomfortable it was to watch Finchel suck face on glee like they didn't even look like loving kisses it was full open mouth on open mouth and making out Yuè "you would know all about announcing things wouldn't you" Yuè I also liked this song Yuè "no I only do that in cars" Yuè nickname 10: chocolate turle Yuè *turtle Yuè to quote Darren Criss: "it's cool I'm back" Yuè after taking a break to help dad wth dinner I'm gonna end this episode Yuè Oh the slushie Yuè "do my eyebrows look okay?" Yuè "that building was already on fire when I got there" Yuè "what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom" Yuè "aren't we supposed to be rehearsing" "DO WE EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT?" Yuè GAY PIRATE Yuè "oh wow we actually accomplished something" I love Quinn s snark in these spoofs Yuè so much snark Yuè "oh sh-" Yuè WAIT JORDAN ALSO VOICED GRANT?

Yuè [glee spoof 13] Finn doesn't know how to wash his balls

Yuè really.. Will and Emma suck at their jobs Yuè BLACK SUE Yuè "by the way I'm having a baby" Yuè Mercedes was actually the only one in canon that handled differently when she cheated Yuè "where do I sign to get you fired?" Yuè there were no songs in this ep... Yuè Oh yeah Boss voiced Sugar cause Brianna was ill Yuè poor Puck Yuè ZISES Yuè "sure let's go with that" Yuè "okay who the fuck is this guy?" Quinn once again spilling the truth Yuè "FINN YOU SON OF A-" Yuè "my girlfriend my girlfriend politics and Latino Brittany is my girlfriend equal rights if I wanna kiss my girlfriend I can rainbow flag" Yuè nickname 11: crayola monkey Yuè wait isn't this Scott's last episode?

Yuè [glee spoof 14] what a nice episode title

Yuè "I'm sorry we don't speak bitch" Yuè "and you make a two dollar hoe look classy" Yuè Sam is wearing simgm merch Yuè "I don't here Finchel when Finchel speaks" same Yuè respect for simgm to not make fun of the suicide storyline Yuè I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE TEY PUT A STARKID REFERENCE IN HETR Yuè "MY CAT IS PART OF THE CIA" Yuè in which the girls are fucking sensible Yuè I love the glee version of No Scrub but man what a jam is this Yuè "you suck at motivational speeches" Yuè "do you feel the 'I don't give a fuck' I'm throwing in your direction" Yuè I ASKED FOR DEVELOPMENT AND THEY GAVE ME A WHEELCHAIR Yuè "I have-" "give it a rest Quinn" Yuè "he didn't call me a nickname today" "OH SHIT SON" Yuè "since five seconds ago" Yuè THESE PARTS BETWEEN SIBLING OH GOD Yuè damn Quinn is being inspirational Yuè duck bless this song Yuè AH BRITT Yuè "If there was a chair to kick right now I would" Yuè well well well simgm Yuè nice song

Yuè [glee spoof 15] at this point Boss and Co were so done they put 4 episodes in one spoof

Yuè True about Damian and the glee project thing Yuè waot there are no captions Yuè Mr Schue is such a dick Yuè ah... Quinn's face Yuè for real tho in 4 eps Santana changed her opinion on college too many times Yuè "this got disturbing really fast" Yuè UNIQUE Yuè "knock knock" "who's there?" "go away" Yuè THE WAY RACHEL'S FACE JUST FELL Yuè ZISES IS IN THE CHOIR ROOM Yuè the Quoe boner thing was so gross Yuè I also use "and I wanna go to college" in real life to basically say WTF Yuè fuck Chandler Yuè Oh jesus Yuè btw welcome Kyle to the cast Yuè "I can do that now. I see you're dressed as Lea Michele today" Yuè SANTANA VISION Yuè "dinosaurs" "shut the fuck up Mike"

Yuè [glee spoof 16] this is the end

Yuè throwback to the first ep Yuè Rachel is a selfish as Yuè *ass Yuè and Tina is right Yuè THE BODY SWAP Yuè nickname 12 kinda: winky fairy Yuè ahhh I'm getting all emotional Yuè TATER TOOOOOOOOOOOOTS Yuè another throwback because they're all wearing the outfits they wore in the first spoof Yuè "good luck with that" Yuè EVEN ZISES WAS HERE Yuè the unicorn magic!! Yuè "my big plans are-" (title song) Yuè ... and it's over AGAIN

Yuè [glee spoof minisodes and others]

Yuè mini 1Glee Spoof Minisode 1 | Kurt's Problem with Blaine Yuè this is the video that led me to Simgm because of Michael's awesome voice work Yuè nickname 1: cutiepiedumplingsugartwinkledove Yuè I love that nickname Yuè nickname 2: kurtsie wurtsie Yuè mini 2Glee Spoof Minisode 2 | Santana Exposes All Yuè TATER TOTS YEAAAAAH Yuè "Penises and Winecoolers: a dangerous combination" Yuè "you've been a bad girl Santana" oh lord Yuè mini 3Glee Spoof Minisode 3 | Fondue for Two Yuè wait Yuè this isn't minisode 3 Yuè this is the other Fondue for Two mini Yuè okay in other words minisode 3 has disappeared so let's just move to Yuè mini 4Glee Spoof Minisode 4 |The Glee Cast Discover the Gl... Yuè this s where it gets real Yuè "SAVE THE HORSES" Yuè this is the first time the actual sim "actors" were in a video Yuè "am I really that tall?" "YES!" Yuè mini 5Glee Spoof Minisode 5 | Quinn's Summer Before Senior... Yuè I actually ripped the audio off of this one and put it on my phone so that I could listen t it Yuè "you have too many messages fr me to count" Yuè "BLAINE HOW MANY TMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SING DURING-" Yuè quinn's face when Finn tries to order a pizza Yuè "..." "that must've been Tina leaving a message" Yuè mini 6Glee Spoof Minisode 6 | The Glee Club Gets Tested Yuè "you know I'm gonna flunk" Yuè Oh Santana Yuè "cow ass no. 5?" Yuè "you're all fucking crazy" "we didn't need a test to tell us that" Yuè mini 7 for realGlee Spoof Minisode 7 | Fondue for Two Part 2 Yuè "do you enjoy being a lesbian?" Yuè nickname 3: puffy-bear Yuè again.. oh Santana Yuè "you do like tossing things" "yeah like..." "my girlfriend out of the closet" Yuè mini 8Glee Spoof Minisode 8 | Brainstorming with the Creat... Yuè RIB is at it again Yuè "is Obama available?" if only Yuè Ian does no shit Yuè hey it's a Zises Yuè I love the Sim cast Yuè "what the fuck did I just read" after the IKAG script is gold Yuè mini 9Glee Spoof Minisode 9 | The Glee Cast Auditions Yuè Sim cast is back wohoo Yuè "my name is-" "you've got the part" Yuè "no way that's HELLA cool!" Yuè mini 10Glee Spoof Minisode 10 | To Catch a Pedo Will Yuè you know that's also HELLA cool? Yuè more of Brianna as sugar Yuè "Because my boyfriend is super awesome" Yuè Sue knocking Schue down always gets me Yuè mini 11Glee Spoof Minisode 11 | Favorite Moments Yuè TIME FOR SENTIMENT Yuè I agree with Michael. "Where's ma crown?" is my favourite part as well Yuè the Christmas crap festGlee Spoof Christmas Special | Holly Jolly Crap Fest Yuè honestly I haven't seen this one in ages Yuè "this Irish dude" Yuè "????????????????" Yuè this was very weird tbh Yuè they never released that song Yuè comic conGlee Cast Comic Con Spoof Yuè I thought it was very cool that actual viewers could send in audio questions Yuè fucking mcgustin Yuè never forget mcgustin Yuè save horses and coffee 2k17 Yuè Oh shit Lea's laugh Yuè LEA Yuè go for it Darren Yuè sneak peek Behind the Scenes of Glee Spoofs Yuè this is like one minute long but it points out so many glee flaws it's hilarious Yuè "I asked for development and they gave me a wheelchair" Yuè btw I am watching all the little glee spoofs and other bts stuff but I'm not gonna live blog them