#so naturally I'm complaining on the internet about it

[bat-connoisseur]

You ever get so bored you wanna start chewing your skin off

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the fact that chicken is my favorite protein but I never get to eat it because apparently all the feed they're given is high in omega 6 and thus that transfers to us humans when we eat it and it's inflammatory so I get to each chicken once a year on my birthday when my mom spends an exorbitant amount of money to buy it from a place that only feeds their animals whatever is perfectly healthy enough

[deerydear]

the other day, I was sitting at a bar downtown, heard some guy critiqueing something on TV as "problematic".... the way that you can tell that their opinions are something they read on the computer-screen with the assumption of "lots of people agreeing with them", their voices go up in a higher pitch. They sound like they think they're imparting some "secret knowledge", but if it's something I know for a fact is not true....

it's funny.

tl;dr: the Smug is spreading

the idea of the internet connecting people and allowing the flow of information and knowledge in an unprecedented way was a great dream but the reality of being exposed to thousands of random peoples opinions at any time in the economic and social organization of social media has just made increasingly cynical because the majority of people seem to just have a vague “peasant easily convinced of fascism” mentality. this is why twitter is an op

[rebeccathenaturalist]

ETA: I wrote up a guide on clues that a foraging book was written by AI here!

[Original Tweet source here.]

[RANT AHEAD]

Okay, yeah. This is a very, very, very bad idea. I understand that there is a certain flavor of techbro who has ABSOLUTELY zero problem with this because "AI is the future, bro", and we're supposed to be reading their articles on how to use AI for side hustles and all that.

I get that ID apps have played into people's tendency to want quick and easy answers to everything (I'm not totally opposed to apps, but please read about how an app does not a Master Naturalist make.) But nature identification is serious stuff, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to identify whether something is safe to eat, handle, etc. You have to be absolutely, completely, 100000% sure of your ID, and then you ALSO have to absolutely verify that it is safely handled and consumed by humans.

As a foraging instructor, I cannot emphasize this enough. My classes, which are intended for a general audience, are very heavy on identification skills for this very reason. I have had (a small subsection of) students complain that I wasn't just spending 2-3 hours listing off bunches of edible plants and fungi, and honestly? They can complain all they want. I am doing MY due diligence to make very sure that the people who take my classes are prepared to go out and start identifying species and then figure out their edibility or lack thereof.

Because it isn't enough to be able to say "Oh, that's a dandelion, and I think this might be an oyster mushroom." It's also not enough to say "Well, such-and-such app says this is Queen Anne's lace and not poison hemlock." You HAVE to have incredibly keen observational skills. You HAVE to be patient enough to take thorough observations and run them through multiple forms of verification (field guides, websites, apps, other foragers/naturalists) to make sure you have a rock-solid identification. And then you ALSO have to be willing to read through multiple sources (NOT just Wikipedia) to determine whether that species is safely consumed by humans, and if so if it needs to be prepared in a particular way or if there are inedible/toxic parts that need to be removed.

AND--this phenomenon of AI-generated crapola emphasizes the fact that in addition to all of the above, you HAVE to have critical thinking skills when it comes to assessing your sources. Just because something is printed on a page doesn't mean it's true. You need to look at the quality of the information being presented. You need to look at the author's sources. You need to compare what this person is saying to other books and resources out there, and make sure there's a consensus.

You also need to look at the author themselves and make absolutely sure they are a real person. Find their website. Find their bio. Find their social media. Find any other manners in which they interact with the world, ESPECIALLY outside of the internet. Contact them. Ask questions. Don't be a jerk about it, because we're just people, but do at least make sure that a book you're interested in buying is by a real person. I guarantee you those of us who are serious about teaching this stuff and who are internet-savvy are going to make it very easy to find who we are (within reason), what we're doing, and why.

Because the OP in that Tweet is absolutely right--people are going to get seriously ill or dead if they try using AI-generated field guides. We have such a wealth of information, both on paper/pixels and in the brains of active, experienced foragers, that we can easily learn from the mistakes of people in the past who got poisoned, and avoid their fate. But it does mean that you MUST have the will and ability to be impeccably thorough in your research--and when in doubt, throw it out.

My inbox is always open. I'm easier caught via email than here, but I will answer. You can always ask me stuff about foraging, about nature identification, etc. And if there's a foraging instructor/author/etc. with a website, chances are they're also going to be more than willing to answer questions. I am happy to direct you to online groups on Facebook and elsewhere where you have a whole slew of people to compare notes with. I want people's foraging to be SAFE and FUN. And AI-generated books aren't the way to make that happen.

[blughxreader]

I've been watching natural disaster documentaries and I'm so down bad for the idea of Platonic Yandere! Batfam during a blizzard.

They obviously have enough supplies to maintain a small village, so no one is pressed when sudden snow picks up. Batman has special cold-resistant suits for all of them but when the windchill drops to the negatives, their patrols are an hour at a time.

When the blizzard finally hits, they escort stranded cars to safety for as long as possible before the white-out makes it impossible to work.

That first night, they're all huddled in the the smallest lounge, fireplace roaring and hot chocolate in hand. You're pulled to the very front of the pile, bundled in blankets and Tim's various school hoodies and up against the rolling heat of the flames.

Despite the temperature breaking record lows, you've never been more toasty. Chocolate on your tongue and cheeks hot from the fire, they only let you unbundle yourself when you complain about sweating.

However much the others bitch and moan, Jason and Bruce are the ones at your side. They're packed full of muscle and do a great job of trapping in heat, so the skinnier Bats have to settle for watching you. Jason and Bruce take great pleasure in draping a big arm around you, pinning you so close to their sides that you have to fold your arms to keep them from getting squeezed.

Bruce insists you sleep in his bed, since this is one of the few times he gets to fall asleep at the same time as you. Damian insists, on account of being the least efficient at maintaining heat (i.e. the smallest), he should join you two. Bruce relents with an amused smile. You fall asleep pulled almost fully across Bruce's chest with Damian wound tightly around you.

The whole situation would almost be reminiscent of a family enjoying the winter holidays, had it not been for the Bat’s palpable longing.

Normally, they're desperate to touch you, to hold onto some part of your person and bask in the closeness. But with their fingertips cold and a slight shake to their limbs—they're ravenous.

Their yearning mixes with the cold and spurs on their dark thoughts more than the heat ever has. They have to hold you or they'll die. They have to feel your warm breath fan their faces. They have to take your body heat and to give you theirs.

Physical intimacy seems so much more personal when they could die from the cold (never mind the fact that they're at a healthy temperature).

Fights break out faster as they get more clingy, and Bruce creates a rigid schedule. The Bats must follow the rotation by the second, no bartering time for favors, and no incapacitating others to extend your time.

The weak sun travels the sky and snow swallows houses whole. Almost two days in, the power cut and everyone was forced to move into the small living room. Using the back-up generators, they powered only a few important rooms in the house and set up space heaters in every corner. Blankets were nailed over windows and Damian and Tim had a mini bitch-session over the unusable internet connection.

Dick and Jason carried down mattresses, while Tim, Cass, and Steph found every blanket and pillow in the house. Damian and Bruce brought up laptops, monitors, and a radio for work. Alfred is forced into the recliner with an instant water heater and a teapot by his side. He hasn't complained once, but everyone knows the cold isn't kind to his joints.

Then there's you, sitting on a pile of blankets and pillows and wrapped in sweaters, throws, hats, and gloves. You almost threw a fit because you were warm enough, but Cass's darkened face silenced you immediately. She backed off when you settled into Steph's side, gloves and all.

The time passes slowly. On the third and worst day, the wind chill reached negative 50. The house rattled and creaked against the cold, and the Bats took turns nestled against you.

Dick flipped through his old high school year book and told you stories about the students, while Steph chimed in with made up-ones to add drama.

You and Damian played a game that involved finishing each other's drawings.

Tim pretended to be stuck on a video game level and let you help. Cass somehow procured a party horn that she honked to celebrate each victory.

Despite how hard Jason tried to avoid Bruce, they always finished their books at the same time and left to get more. They returned with arm-fulls of books and a frozen snack that they shared with you.

At the end of the week, when the sun finally began melting the snow and the were having an increasingly difficult time keeping Bruce from the cowl, they were all sick of each other.

It was slightly satisfying, considering you never caught a break from any of them and this was a taste of their own medicine. The Bats finally returned to duty after a spectacular meltdown from Dick after Bruce asserted his opinion one too many times.

You, however, remained locked in the living room nest for several more days because "it's still too cold for you to sleep alone" and "patrols will be very short until crime picks back up."

It was already safe to return to your room, but there was something so comforting about knowing precisely where you'd be at any given moment. And Bruce, settling into the couch after patrol to thaw his frozen limbs, melted at the sight of his kids all piled up together.

for more yandere batfam, visit my masterlist!

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 2

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: two

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

elton changed the name the karate kid to the imposter

elton added the REAL karate kid

the REAL karate kid

PLS 💀

you all were annoying a random

person thinking it was me LMAO

and this username ??

i mean i'm not complaining

elton

oh shut it

neev

y'all got anything in your stash?

stairway

i was gonna ask the same thing.

where's lotte when you need her?

earpsy

i don't have anything in my stash

brightness

neither

maya

i'm broke

elton

ugghh i'm so bored

you guys got any food to eat?

the REAL karate kid

i got redbull

meado

that is not food less

the REAL karate kid

says who?

kie

red bull is an energy drink.

it is made up of carbonated water, sucrose, glucose,

citric acid, taurine, sodium bicarbonate, magnesium

carbonate, caffeine, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate,

pyridoxine hci, vitamin b12, and natural and artificial flavours.

meado

thank you keira

daily

did you just copy and paste that from google?

willybum

damn i lost braincells reading that

the REAL karate kid

didn't know you had any in the first place

willybum

shut up

elton

if i drop you on a deserted island with

only redbull alessia, will you survive?

the REAL karate kid

yeah

willybum

why don't we test that out

stairway

i second that

the imposter

honestly it depends on

what you define food as

i mean literally anything could

be food if it's consumable

the REAL karate kid

thank you, my imposter!

idk who you are but i already love you

the imposter

you're welcome :))

willybum

why the hell is everyone in love with alessia??

this is not okay.

and why do i keep seeing videos

of you everywhere??

it's like you're haunting me

the REAL karate kid

sorry leah, i just can't help it

it's my charm

the imposter

so ....

does anyone feel like showing

what alessia looks like? 👀

elton

were you not taught anything

about stranger danger??!

or internet safety?!

you could be a 40 year old man

wanting to hunt us down

the imposter

BRUH

you were the one that LITERALLY

added me to this random groupchat

for all i know you could be the

one trying to do that to me

elton

hey hey hey!

don't put this back on me

that's not fair

the imposter

excuse you

your name is literally elton

i will not be taking this

you could be a stalker for all i know

shut up

elton

.....

the REAL karate kid

PLS

you actually silenced her

ILY

willybum

i think i just witnessed love on first sight-

stairway

you're not the only one-

part three here

[yonpote]

before you read my ramble, disclaimer about my ticket-whining: i'm not telling anyone they're bad for getting multiple m&g tickets or anything even similar, i am mainly complaining about the system we live under called capitalism

inherently, buying m&g tickets is a privileged person's game. like, it just is what it is, the battle for meet and greets is like. yes it requires luck, but if you have several modern devices that don't lag and pretty good internet speed, that certainly helps. having the time to buy tickets as soon as they drop certainly helps. living in a location that is close to at least one show let alone multiple helps. and obviously, having expendable income is a requirement.

and it fuckin sucks cuz like hey im happy for my friends who got m&g but honestly right now i wanna be shouting "fuck yall you've met them 20 times already" and i'm saying that as someone who still got pretty good tickets for two different shows! so for the people who can't afford it, who didn't have time today, who don't have the ability to get to a show due to location, who have disabilities that make you too slow at clicking fucking buttons (hi,) who have disabilities that make it impossible for you to even go at all, etc. let us grieve and be annoyed at yall lmao, we'll get over it eventually but damn it fuckin sucks that the world is like this and it sucks that bloodshed is the nature of buying meet and greet tickets and i don't enjoy feeling angry at people who technically haven't done anything wrong, but at the same time don't act like we were all on the same playing field if you have years of experience buying vip tickets and multiple functional devices and more than enough money to live that maybe your bank account will still take a hit but you know for sure your life won't be in danger after spending that much.

basically, (i don't wanna say check your privilege) ACKNOWLEDGE your privilege. try to see where others are coming from if they have some angry energy. don't take it personally that people are pissed off. and don't get defensive when people complain about folks who have had the privilege to see/meet dnp multiple times.

[balkanradfem]

I've gotten several asks about sending me money, or a laptop, so it's time that I reveal to you, a situation, that's been going on without your knowledge, because I kept it a secret.

So a while ago, while my laptop was breaking down and had to be glued together every week, I got a message from a woman on tumblr, telling me that she could send me a second-hand laptop, so I wouldn't have to glue mine together. I naturally rejected immediately, because it was too much of a gift, and I wouldn't be able to repay it.

But then, I spent the rest of the day thinking that it might have been a bad decision, because my laptop would be dead soon, and I had no funds to get another one, and it wasn't like I was offered money, I hate money, but I don't hate a second hand laptop. I kept thinking back on it and wishing I acted differently. So I went back to the conversation, and the woman reassured me that it wouldn't take anything away from anyone, she's a part of a charitable organization that donates used electronics and chose me to take part in a pilot scheme, because she liked my blog. I was slightly concerned that it might have been a scam because it sounded too good to be true, but the woman shared more information about it, it looked real, and my gut feeling was saying yes this is real, however unbeliveable, there might be someone out there so kind they would make sure you have access to your tumblr blog.

So I accepted the laptop. It was nerve wrecking because all my friends told me it was a scam, and the customs took hold of it and held it hostage and made it their business to tax gifted items, and while this was happening, my old laptop died, and of course I complained about it on tumblr because thats what tumblrinas do.

But, the laptop got to me. It arrived yesterday. And it works. And I love it. I'm back to having access to tumblr!

Now I'm not saying you should all accept that people on the internet wanting to send you stuff are genuine, or giving them your private information so they could send you stuff, that is... a risky situation, and in this one case,,,, it worked out,,,, in my favour. I am unbeliveably grateful for the laptop and it's the best thing ever. It's an unbeliveable story to tell, nobody believes me this happened, and I'm just over the moon over having a functional laptop. It's all in one piece! I don't have to ductape anything! The battery works! The graphics look amazing! It doesn't shut down randomly! It doesn't have parts dangling off the side! The screen can be tilted at any angle and it doesn't fall down! I can play stardew valley on it! The woman even wrote me a handwritten letter and I swooned over it.

I'm lucky to be so adored by tumblr that I'm able to get something incredible like this, only because all of you women are genuinely kind and care about having me around. Thank you for enabling this blog!

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Both vanilla and SVE bachelors reacting to their lovely farmer spouse jokingly(or not) calling them a DILF?

Hee-hee... >:3

_________________________________________

If Farmer does it publicly, Harvey will bump them lightly with something and turn red from embarrassment, but if Farmer calls him privately.... Hmm, well. The doctor used to think he was already a pretty old, considering it a disadvantage. But now, in his relationship with Farmer, perhaps it has some advantages... 👀

Hah, Sam can't believe it: only he decided to try growing a short beard, and Farmer immediately called him DILF. "Hey, I'm not that old yet!" Sam laughs about that, but thinks about keeping the beard. Because he liked the way he looks now... and the way Farmer called him. 🥰

Dilf?! But Farmer, Alex isn't even in his 30s yet, he's still young! Let the athlete enjoy his youth! Yes, of course he is pleasantly flattered by this compliment (although his cheeks are still rosy because wow 😳), but Alex likes being a young father for now.

Shane was taken by surprise. He immediately thought it was a joke, nothing more, because somewhere in his mind Shane still didn't understand what Farmer had found in him. Although, on the other hand, he had managed to look a little bit better now, so maybe Farmer's words weren't a joke? Heh... 🌚

Oh, Elliott thanked his spouse for the.... compliment? It was a compliment, right? Could Farmer explain what that meant? "Dad I'd like to..." OH. Elliott likes that his dear spouse feels that way, but if they wanted to get home early for, *ahem*, interesting activities, they could have just said so directly and he would have understood. 💕

If the Farmer thought they had caught Sebastian off guard, they were wrong. He smiles silently at the compliment. Except that when Farmer calls him that again at home, the emo's cheeks blush. "Why are you surprised, Sebby? You're just great DILF material!" Thanks a lot Farmer, now he's as red as a tomato. 🫣

Yoba, Farmer would see probably the most smug smile on Lance's face. He know that he was good-looking, and pleased that he hadn't lost it even now. Naturally, the gallant adventurer wouldn't forget to counterattack by complimenting his spouse and inviting Farmer to come home together early... 🌚

*Sigh* To be honest, Magnus wasn't surprised at all; he was really quite old. But still, the wizard is glad to hear that even at that age he looks very good, and that the Farmer appreciates him. Call Magnus that again, and he'll show them his full DILF nature... (Oh my... 🌝)

First babygirl, now DILF... Indeed, Farmer gives Victor such compliments that the poor man stands in a stupor and tries to understand if it's a compliment at all. The Internet helps him, and... Oh, dear. Wow. Welp, he's not complaining... 😏

[zvaigzdelasas]

When I was 16, I attended the Laureate International School in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, where I followed the British curriculum.

I played sports, and my coach used to organize trips to North Korea.

I was 16 the first time I went in 2015, and 17 the second time I went in 2016.

The camp was very accommodating. All the time, we just felt special.

They were always on our case: "Do you guys need this? Do you guys need that?"

Also, as Africans, we usually tend to have very different traditions and cultural choices.

But out of all the countries that I've been to, North Korea is one of the few that actually has a linkage to our culture.

I remember we spent two days in Pyongyang and went to the war museum and found out that our first president, Julius Nyerere, was actually friends with their first president.[...]

It was interesting to go there and hear about my country from their perspective because our ways of life were so different.

For example, North Korean kids didn't have phones, and even we were not allowed to use phones in the camp.

There was no internet network, but they had service, so we could call through landlines. It was like taking a network break.

When we came out of the camp for visits in Pyongyang, North Korean civilians came and talked to us.

That reminded me of home. If you come to Tanzania, people are going to come and talk to you. They're going to want to get to know you.[...]

My favorite memory was performing in front of a thousand people. Both times I went to the camp, I had to represent my country as a singer.

Tanzanians complained a lot about not having internet on camp.

But that was just perfect for me because sometimes I try to look for the perfect hideout and don't find it.

The scenery was beautiful, lively, and natural.

I also really made long-term friends from the camp, especially with Russian kids.

I'm still in touch with them today. I wouldn't have met them here. Most of them are from Moscow, Nakhodka and Vladivostok.

The only thing close to propaganda that I saw was that when we were at the airport, a friend of mine had some sort of film about the US president and the North Korean president on his laptop.

When we were passing through the last checkup at the airport, authorities somehow saw the clip and had him delete it.

But I didn't feel scared anywhere in the country.

27 Jul 24

[ohsalome]

love seeing people (westerners) WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN MADE A SINGLE PEEP ABOUT UKRAINE AID, EVER, reblog russian lgbt aid funds after the recent news.

i'm very anti whataboutism but holy hell. when it comes to a certain country we all agree that liberation comes before improvement of lgbt issues. *i* agree with that, at least. but then the same people would rather pay to save lgbt people from a country that's actively besieging another country, it's just... beyond words how hypocritical it is.

I have so many things to say, none of them being nice.

Ukrainian army is, so far, the only force that is presenting challenge to "putin's regime". Wouldn't it make sense for people who "want to protect russian lgbt+s" to support us then? We are conctantly being degraded for "not allying with good russians" who are supposed to be our "natural allies" because they are "anti-putin".... Funny how it doesn't work the other way around, doesn't it? And yes, I have personal experience with russian lgbt+ and feminist circles (prior to the full-scale invasion), and I remember clearly how they explicitly ignored all pleas from ukrainians to speak up on our behalf. And how can one forget the famous "women have no nationality"...

This is, from my memory, the third time russia has "banned lgbt+s", and I believe I have a good reason for being sceptical about the real consequences of russian laws which, as we all know, are worth a little more than toilet paper. It is common knowledge which people of russian elite are gay, and I sincerely doubt their life will change in any way with this new law. As a matter of fact, most of them are a part of russian propaganda machine, like the infamous Anton Krasovsky. Also, what is the point then of this law, if it functionally duplicates all the previous ones already existing and brings nothing new to the table? I will not repeat the conspiracies about "diverting attention from Ukraine", because you've probably already heard of them. My own conspiracy is that its goal is to further the international reputation of russians as innocent victims of the regime, all while ukrainians are being actively slandered and forced into fake opposition with palestinians. One example relevant to the discussion I've seen recently is a post of a russian "war refugee" who has fled from russia either when the war started, or during one of the mobilisation waves. She was complaining about how much she dislikes living in the West and how she plans to return to russia, fully knowing that it is an authoritarian hellscape, and she will have to collaborate with it, because "it is more comfortable there"... This is what I think about russian "victims of the regime" - this is all masquerade for them, which they are ready and happy to take off once they are tired of play-pretending being part of the civilized world and want to return to their comform zone swamp.

Just like pussy riot monetizing Bucha imagery for their fame and profit, russian lgbt+s jumped on the oppostunity to appropriate the suffering of ukrainian war victims to earn more $$$$$. And I blame western media which has for day one has put us on the same scale, equating ukrainian civillians to russian ones, even though only one side has to live under constant bombardment, only one side had to seek refuge due to the threat of occupation, only one side is being actively genocided... But russians are having meanie mean words said about them on the internet, and this is just as bad - nay, mayhaps even worse! Remember how during the first months of full-scale invasion westerners were claiming that russians will starve to death due to sanctions, and I was preaching to the choir trying to explain that we are literally dying due to west feeding the russian war machine that is exterminating us? Well, almost two years have passed, no russian have famished because Chanel has left the market, they are successfuly importing all the missiles components through Kazakhstan, and Ukraine cannot even count all the losses we've had because how much of our territory remains under the occupation. But westerners have already congratulated themselves about how they've "immediately gifted ukraine all the weapons they need once the war started" (hahaha!) and moved on to playing with their new palestinian toy, all while for some reason pitting us against each other (and stealing footage from Syria and Ukraine to misrepresent them as Palestine)

Oh and don't get me started on western "political activists" who go out of their way to mention every single conflict happening on planted earth, excluding Ukraine. I will never forget that.

[very bitter and pessimistic conclusion censored]

[yanderes-galore]

@yandereskies -> This was the other half of one of their requests. Their other request is still in the works!

I'm still quite new to Generation One's cartoon so I may be a bit vague with this, but I hope you still enjoy it regardless. For Rumble and Frenzy, I used their cartoon colors.

Note: This concept made me enjoy Rumble and Frenzy more- Also Generation one's cartoon is funny as hell.

Yandere! Soundwave + Rumble and Frenzy with Human! Darling

Transformers: Generation One

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Yanderes sharing, Stalking, Kidnapping, Degrading behavior, Manipulation, Threats, Forced companionship (?), Violence, Murder implied, Possessive behavior mention, Jealousy.

Based on what I've seen and according to my research;

Soundwave is a stoic Decepticon who's loyal to Megatron, he often speaks and acts very monotone.

Rumble is described to be a "bully" or "jerk" on the internet, while his brother, Frenzy, is described as "insane" and "destructive".

When it come to all three of them being yanderes for a human darling, it could go two ways.

It's a forced family dynamic or you're treated like a human pet with the three of them.

Technically you're Soundwave's human.

Rumble and Frenzy just share you for attention.

I also have a feeling Laserbeak and Ravage would get involved with tracking you despite this concept only focusing on two of the Cassettes.

In terms of how you met Soundwave could also be a few ways.

You could be a human hostage, a friend of the Autobots, or something in between.

Somehow you've managed to catch Soundwave's eye.

It's easy for him to keep track of you, too.

Laserbeak can stalk you from the air, recording and listening to everything about you.

Ravage also helps with recording information, just from the ground.

Soundwave is an unnerving yandere due to the amount of information he can obtain on you.

Everything is recorded in his databank.

His private databank.

Soundwave is a patient yandere, too.

He'd sit back and collect information on you before kidnapping you.

Which will happen eventually.

Speaking of which, Rumble and Frenzy most likely become attached to you after you're kidnapped.

Soundwave is well-versed on how to take care of you based on his research.

When he takes you in, with permission of Megatron, he knows what to do to care for you.

It really is like having a pet.

When I think of how Rumble and Frenzy act towards Soundwave's new human, I like to think they act like two kids at times?

As in, there's no doubt they fight over you.

Soundwave often wonders how much it'll take to get you overwhelmed.

Rumble and Frenzy often try to ask Soundwave to have their turn with you.

Soundwave towers over you, but Rumble and Frenzy are actually only about six foot/two meters.

They are actually closer to human height and can show affection to you more efficiently.

At first they'd probably be a bit mean towards you and how fragile you are as a human.

But they fall for you like Soundwave eventually.

Sometimes you feel like a toy to the two.

The two would probably be at each other's throats, complaining that one of them got you longer than the others.

They learn to be gentle with holding you and often pet you on the head or coo over how small and squishy you are.

They're a bit rough and you bruise easily against their metal.

Soundwave no doubt teaches them to be gentle.

He also teaches them your favorite things to get you to bond with them more.

The two struggle sharing with each other but tolerate it.

The two Cons are fascinated with you.

Soundwave struggles with affection at times due to his stoic nature, but he tends to hold you in his hand while working on something.

If he has to leave you, he gives you to Rumble and Frenzy.

Those two can't seem to get enough of you, following you around to see just what humans do.

They are also just as protective of you as Soundwave.

Megatron doesn't bother with you since Soundwave deals with you most of the time.

The biggest issue is the Autobots.

They could take you away.

Soundwave's stoic and acts like he has everything under control if Autobots came to "rescue" you.

For the most part he does actually have things under control.

Rumble and Frenzy are more volatile.

The two don't mind using their powers to create enough chaos to relocate you.

The three wouldn't let you go for the world.

If they ever got back to Cybertron, Soundwave will find a way to adapt you to the environment.

He can't just leave you at Earth.

He likes you too much, plus Rumble and Frenzy would bug him about you.

Escape is nearly impossible alone with Soundwave, even without the yandere Cassettes.

Think about it.

Rumble and Frenzy are never far from you, always wanting to hold and fight over you like jealous children at times.

Even if you somehow got past Soundwave, he still has Laserbeak and Ravage to track you.

You can't get past Soundwave's cameras and microphones.

At this point, they become your own little family.

There's teasing from Rumble and Frenzy, but they really do love you.

Soundwave may not be expressive, but you can also tell he cares by the way he holds you and lightly touches you with his fingers.

He's cautious of his strength.

I don't doubt they'd all kill for you if they were given the chance.

Soundwave is used to the order from Megatron.

Frenzy seems eager at the idea of harming someone for you, Rumble is similar but less eager.

Other humans or Autobots are going to met with quite a bit of resistance if they tried to pry you from their grip.

They'll be reduced to bloody scrap within minutes.

It's dubious if their intentions are romantic or platonic, yet it's clear they care for you in some intense capacity.

Soundwave and his Cassettes love you like one big family...

The longer you're with them, the longer you wonder if you'll ever go home again to see your real family and friends.

[radioappleheadcanons]

Part two of Whumping & comfort 7 years later

Vox somehow doesn't see it at first. In his defense, he doesn't expect anything really Alastor related to pop up on sinstiagram. He doesn't even have notifications made anything Alastor-related. He did at first when he first went missing but after a while, he just turned them off. So, Velvette knows before him. She keeps waiting for him to explode. He doesn't and she’s like I'm so glad you've gotten over this. It's wack that the pair of you got over it at the same time but I’m not complaining. Vox doesn't know what she’s talking about, and she realizes that he just doesn't know. She refuses to tell him but that doesn't stop him from finding out about it. He is livid when he sees it.

Alastor, in new clothes. New hair, new section of the radio show. How dare he? He refuses to change for years and now suddenly everything is new and cool and what? He starts bashing Alastor again, as he does, but the thing is when he tries; Alastor just responds in kind. He notes how he isn't as 'modern' as Vox wanted him to be. Points out that getting new clothes and not straightening his hair doesn't mean jack in the long term. And he's added things and taken them from his show before, it’s nothing new. Vox demands to know what changed his mind and Alastor just says that it’s something Vox could have never done.

This just ticks him off, of course.

He starts on a quest to figure it out.

Velvette is also interesting, but mainly because Alastor looks good in the new clothes and dang if she could get him to model that be great. He doesn't even have to be in shows, just him wearing things out on the town is a big deal. And because excuse her? What do you mean, stop straightening your hair? You kept your natural hair when you came down here? She thought it was just straight, it's happened to a few other demons.

Meanwhile Luce's social media becomes active for the first time in a long time. There are a lot of pictures of all of the hotel residences. Even of Alastor, who hadn't let Charlie post any more pictures after the first one. The Vees start there, trying to figure out what would have caused this.

But here's the thing.

Luce knows that it makes Alastor very uncomfortable to be on the internet, or for people to know about whatever they are. So, he makes sure not to post anything that would give them away, and only with Alastor’s knowledge and consent. So, they don't get a lot out of it. Of course, the fact that it’s happening at all should clue them in, but they think it’s just Lucifer trying to promote the hotel and threatening ALastor to let him in a way that Charlie is too nice to do. it's in one of these videos that they get a big clue. It’s a video of circle time and snippets of what everyone says. When it gets to Alastor, he rolls his eyes and says that while he isn't interested in getting to heaven, he is glad he came to the hotel. It helped him learn that changing one thing isn't consent for everything. No one really understands what he means, but they know it must be connected to his odd behavior. So now they're digging into that rabbit hole.

Velvette goes to meet Al at the hotel and talks to him about wearing her clothes on the street and also if he's taking care of his hair correctly. She doesn't press anything else, though when she is asked, she is very blunt about what Vox is doing. It’s rather funny to Alastor, who strikes up a tentative agreement with her.

[hobgobknowsbest]

I've come to think of the recent trend making goblincore "pretty" as sort of like... a renaissance faire. We all know the medieval times were nothing like they are represented as at a faire, but it's still nice, still entertaining. People dress up as these idealized, pretty, fantasy versions of squires, knights, princesses, princes, queens and kings, laughs are had, money is spent, and everyone eats a giant turkey leg.

Same general idea. Who wouldn't love to live in a sun-dappled hole in the ground, in the middle of the woods, somehow subsisting off the land without the hardships that come with that lifestyle, happily gardening and sipping tea by candlelight? Chasing down the occasional human, causing mischief in the local town that's close to your acres of forest?

Perhaps I'm too stuck in the moment, but all I can see is what's at hand; the here and the now of it. Goblins and bugbears, bogarts, púca, changelings and creatures of all shapes and sizes, trapped in our little meatsuits, suffering from a whole new kind of culture shock day in and day out.

You can't stop humanity from encroaching too far upon nature's domain because they already have, and now you find yourself amongst them. Behind enemy lines, more or less.

You can't make yourself a hole in the ground because every inch of this land is somehow owned, regardless of whether or not someone has ever even set foot upon it.

It becomes less about roleplaying a hobbit on the weekends, and more about surviving with the power of sheer spite.

Your disguise is mostly above suspicion, so you can, for the most part, act and dress however you like. At your core, you are still the antithesis to humanity, so you find yourself stitching your clothes together, proud of your rips and tears. You earned them. You can't fully grasp the idea of money, no matter how hard you try, and so "the grind" is likely something you don't participate in.

Now, rules you are familiar with, but the ones you find in front of you have no sense to them, and feel as if they aren't directed towards you.

You're leery of people in general, and so are slow to make friends. You find yourself, more than likely, getting close to those who have been rejected by society as well: punks and felons, anarchists, street kids and van-lifers. You probably consider yourself a member of one of these little communities yourself.

It's a lonely sort of life, at the end of the day, no matter what you surround yourself with. No matter what you decide to distract yourself with. Finding more of your kind is difficult, even with the aid of the internet, but you can likely spot them here and there, and it is refreshing to bounce your unique energy back and forth.

What I'm trying to say, while I derail myself here, is that I'm coming to the conclusion that there's two sides to goblincore: there's the fashion side, and the lifestyle side. Everything becomes a fashion statement at some point, so I can't really complain.

If someone I met started dressing like me in real life, I'd be flattered, y'know? It'd be weird, as it'd be their own strange version of my normal dress, but it's still oddly endearing. A little Single White Female, but still endearing.

But if you're a lifer, if you've lived this way well before it was given a title, trust that your kind are out there. You're not alone.

You just might have to dig through a little bit of trash to find them.

[aotopmha]

I was watching another playthrough of Dawntrail's final zone and it got me thinking about storytelling and what we (fandom nerds/the internet) value in storytelling again.

I saw a stray comment being disappointed because Y'Shtola didn't really come to Living Memory, which logically and technically makes sense with her recent interest being the Reflections, but I personally felt like it wasn't her place to be there in an emotional sense, so I was fine with her staying behind for this time.

I thought G'raha could cover everything just fine and his losses as a character and position as a former leader of a country were much more relevant to the theming of Living Memory.

Everyone else besides the Living Memory group also already went through this journey of accepting their personal losses and solidifying their principles.

I think they technically could've done something with Y'Shtola reflecting on her relationship with Master Matoya's and her time with the Night's Blessed and maybe give her some sort of expository role, but for the thematic and emotional element of the story, I really feel like everyone else was a much better pick.

So I've been thinking about how much value people place on the technical elements of storytelling now.

All of the characters must always explain every little possible technicality and plot element immediately or the story is automatically bad.

You must cover all your bases all the time with all else left on the wayside.

And that feels like such a nightmare as a writer to me. People don't care about the emotional core of a story and feel the need to nitpick and tear every single line to pieces instead and I think as a result there have been cases where a story tries to overexplain itself and loses the heart in the process.

And I bring Final Fantasy XIV up because it is a story with the reputation of covering all of its bases all of the time, when in truth it always has covered the essentials like most narratives.

FF14 is actually filled to the brim with handwaves and retcons, sometimes with pretty important stuff. Especially early on.

And there is no patience, either, with instant gratification taking precedence over a bunch of other elements in a lot of criticism.

For example, I think there is still time and opportunity for Y'shtola to go to the 9th or Living Memory and do her lore investigation there. I think we can still get her lore take on it.

If Dawntrail was the final bit of story we ever got out of FFXIV, sure, complain away (any complaints are valid as long as it doesn't cross into harassment territory; I find tactless and shallow yelling annoying and boring, but if its aim isn't to hurt, it is just an opinion), but we still have 5 patches and a bunch of expansions to look forward to (in fact, a recent interview reveals ideas and plans technically already exist up to 10.0 and they're just figuring out how to connect them all, which is kind of crazy and unexpected. I thought they must have a better plan than with ARR, but not this far advance and I can see that being its own issue if people really don't like what they have planned).

Also, Living Memory apparently still hits pretty hard for me. I really, really like the permanent nature of it and I hope the most they'll do with it is a restoration project which leads to its re-population or nothing at all.

Upon reflection, I also think Otis is the one of the losses that could still be restored because we saw him at 1% before he "died" during the solo duty in Solution 9, but I'd really prefer all the losses to be final.

I think I'm still firmly in the camp that Dawntrail comes together really really well by the end.

[jackwolfes]

I've been reading smut for nine years so you'd think I'd be able to at least write a little bit of it, right? And yet, the minute it comes to even a kiss scene I get all uncomfy and just can't do it. Lately I've been coming up with so many smut scenes I wanna write but I keep second guessing myself and feeling all embarrassed. Any words of wisdom from a smut veteran like yourself?

i've shared some advice on this in more detail before and also here but the key question i'd ask yourself is: why

like. why are you embarrassed writing smut. why THIS and not writing fluff or whump or very elaborate longfics. because smut is at the end of the day any other type of writing, with just as much feeling and action and weird messy fluids.

"sex is taboo and shameful and i've got catholic guilt" - so fair, we live in a society. but also, sex is natural and a 100% morally neutral act. i'd be surprised if this wasn't underlying some part of the embarrassment but at a certain point, if this is the key thing holding you back, you might just need to sit down and consider whether you want the hegemonic bastards that suck the dick of advertisers and snuff out any sort of difference to be the thing holding you back from what is already a transgressive weirdo hobby. accept that if this is your biggest sticking point, you might not be ready to jump straight into writing a graphic monsterfucking piss play orgy and might have to start with heavy petting and missionary that's more feelings and "i love you"s than descriptions of genitals. and maybe you need to write 10,000 kissing scenes first to build up the courage to write the word "cock", but that's never going to be wasted time. there's no race. you don't need to jump straight in.

"fear of being perceived" - you are the arbiter of who sees this. you can post it anonymously, you can post this under a sock puppet account you made with a completely different email, you can wait until youve written 5 million words and post it all at once, you can literally never ever ever ever ever post it ever. but don't not write it because of an audience that doesn't even exist yet.

"fear of being cancelled for writing something weird" - the ao3 block button is a beautiful, beautiful feature. if someone reads something they don't like, what are they going to do? nark in your comments? whine? launch a smear campaign? fuck em. you should practice good internet safety to avoid getting doxx'd anyway, and if you do literally the only thing they can do is complain, which means all you have to do to get them to shut up is block them

"i like what i'm writing a Bit Too Much and don't know how to process that" - 1) self indulgence is the fucking shit but also 2) the writing is the processing it. writing is a tool that can help you identify the things that get you hot or your underlying opinions on the concept of intimacy and love. and dear god it's fucking awful to be vulnerable but the benefit is very very worth it. also no one's gonna know if you have a wank because you wrote a fic so hot you turned yourself on unless you tell them, so if that's how you gotta process it, then that's between you and god

"it's going to be bad" - it will unfortunately continue to be bad without practice.

if it wasn't immediately obvious from this answer, the only reason i ever got to 'smut veteran' stage was because i got really really fucking shameless about a lot of things, including the fact that i cannot say sexual things out loud, sometimes turn bright red while writing smut, and have still been known to get so embarrassed by a fic that i have to slam my laptop shut and put it away because i can't cope. and i think that part of writing anything that makes you feel that way is acknowledging that 1) you're strong enough to get through that discomfort and 2) a little bit of discomfort is probably worse than not writing anything at all