#so my guess is that it's discontinued

[heartshattering]

gone but not forgotten 😔

[sunnymainecoon]

Horror's silly I guess..... idk sometimes I just want him to slam people idk

Sighs the man's a little angy don't judge him... Jesus he's ugly

[yakultii]

random but i'm so curious as to know how your eyes look, the way you described them in the past have me intrigued

weird girl eyeball compilation

[moved-2-coyotejone-s]

trifecta of shitpost redraws that inexplicably have scout in all of them (originals and extras under the cut)

second image unblurred vvv

[hissterical-nyaan]

One year since my IKEA date

[curiosity-killed]

In the way these things go, I’m sort of curious how the audition decision process went because my teacher (ballet master for the company) has doubled down on coaching tf out of me to the point that I have missed the bus two weeks in a row and he stopped class Friday to drill me on fouettés

[hazeism]

hi!! wanted to ask if you have any favorite books, either that you've read recently or of all time. Your prose is insane and I need to broaden my own vocabulary so if you have any book recs, fiction or nonfiction, I'd love to know :')

Hii :D ! ahaha, what a well-timed question; lately I've become the kind of guy who just really wants to talk about what people are reading, or are planning to read, and responding in kind, so thanks for giving me an opportunity to indulge that, haha. What a wicked invention the printing press was!!! (Also--thank you!! I'm glad my prose is to your taste. I'm happy !💕)

If you don't mind, I'll put a cut on this right away, because I know I'm very talkative, but let me put a TLDR above for all the novels/authors I mention here. Disclaimer also that I am kind of a dunce (I think you know this) so I like silly shit a lot of times . please be nice to me adfhbjkdg. :D

(No nonfiction also because I'm a frivolous and unworldly little sprite or something but if you want straight philosophy [which counts] come back and I'll do my Top Ten Epic Platonic Dialogues Compilation for you .)

TLDR: Read any UKLG you get your hands on, Cain by Jose Saramago, or any Saramago (though maybe not Skylight, which is not a good introduction to Saramago), very much enjoyed Sartre's The Age of Reason recently, Shadow & Claw or The Fifth Head of Cerberus by Gene Wolfe. If you feel like it, come off anon and tell me what you like, so I can give more tailored recommendations!!

Now if you're asking for favorites, like just the particular and arbitrary objects of my partiality, that stir my stupid little heart, the true answer is probably UKLG's The Farthest Shore, just because it is very special to me. I can't, of course, in good conscience, recommend the third novel of a six-novel fantasy series to someone (but of course read Le Guin, everyone should be reading Le Guin, it's dire for universal soteriology that we all read Le Guin; You'll probably get told to start with Left Hand of Darkness, and that's pretty solid. I liked The Lathe of Heaven as well. And if you read any Le Guin it doesn't hurt to pick up a copy of the Tao. I love the Tao man.)

Some friendlier recommendations, though:

José Saramago is someone I really consider peerless; There's no way to pick up a Saramago and not know who's written it. Cain is a bit drier, a bit more abrasive (almost accusatory, in that particular way you'll find in a Buddhist parable) and bleak than some other Saramagos, but it's one I like (perhaps for the trite reason that I like bucolic atmospheres and Classical antiquity as a setting) so it's the one I'll put forward.

Uhh, I've also been enjoying Sartre's Roads to Freedom lately, starting with The Age Of Reason. I'm partway through the second novel and umm... despite all the other things you could say about Sartre, lmfao, let it not be said that he is not a serious literary force. Serious is maybe the only word for it. Dire, too. I keep a commonplace book, so usually I take excerpts, but this was the first time in memory that I felt compelled to commit entire pages, ahah (I just took pictures though, fuck copying all that).

If you're itching for esoteric language, Shadow of the Torturer (as usually collected with Claw of the Conciliator in a single omnibus edition titled Shadow & Claw; the first of the give-or-take five volume Urth series) by Gene Wolfe will scratch you BLOODY. If you're particularly fussy, you might be irritated by your compulsion to Google, but I find it really makes the experience when you type in a word and the only results are "what the fuck did Gene Wolfe mean by this?" hahaha; Honestly, though, those kinds of complaints are borne from a lack of immersion, but you'll notice pretty quickly that the verbiage is a pretty crucial vehicle OF the immersion.

It may or may not become a commitment, though, if you like Urth enough to want to read through, so if you want Wolfe without the strings--though less of the exciting vocabulary, which is pretty necessarily constrained to Urth--I'd really highly recommend The Fifth Head of Cerberus (the novella OR the novel, I mean the former is volumized in the latter so just start it and if you feel like stopping then stop, haha). Mr. Terminal E is incredible but I scrape enough time out of my daily life to gush about his crazy literary density so I won't do it again here (you should ask my coworker, lmfao, who one time went "stop, hold on, hold on." because my face started getting really red while I was explaining to him some Wolfean gesture). If you read any Wolfe, and I mean ANY Wolfe, because his permatypes and his manipulations of them are endlessly interesting, feel free to come back and chat with me over it!!!

I guess I have to disclaim that my habit is mostly to pick through an author's corpus over a course of, usually, a couple years, and then sometimes I'll read things that will inform my understanding of the genre conventions or currents that the author is writing in (been enjoying Golden Age sci-fi recently)--it's not really as deliberate of a process as it sounds, but I think if you were to map my habits, that's the landscape of it. This means, though, that my reading is actually pretty narrow in scope, and I am not very well read or very knowledgeable in general (who is, in this economy) but it does mean that of the authors I do like, I can probably find the novel that'll work best for your taste.

If you want to come off anon, or I guess just leave another message, haha, (or if someone else wants to, idgaf, we're all friends here at tumblr user hazeism) describing the things you like or look for in a novel I can probably give you a more relevant recommendation. I've been dosing people up a lot lately tbh, it's like a parlor trick I've been doing; I have a conversation with someone and afterwards they'll have a PDF with a relevant Asimov story in their messages, hahaha. I can't help myself sometimes.

Come back anyway, though, if you read anything I talked about, okay? I want to hear about it 🥺

And alsooo (turning to face the audience) if anyone ever wants to put recs in my inbox (or my dms : ) slow replies though sorry I'm a hermit) I'd be happy to take 'em down. Can't guarantee I'll read them in a timely manner, or that you'll ever find out if/when I do, but it's good for me to leave my comfort zone.

[olde-scratch]

the money i would spend if monster high wasn't overhauled.

[jungleboy-cruise]

Bad news lads.... i didn't like the Barbie movie.

I'm gonna rant about my take in the tags please don't send me messages for why I'm wrong this was my personal take away if you don't like it and it makes you mad please just block me.

[baka-monarch]

That moment when you're favorite prime boys fic (with some really well written sbi as well and cool fae stuff) gets discontinued and orphaned:

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the sense of having any lore about the ancient [ten to thirteen years ago] of marble hornets times like granpa granpa tell us a greentext story....the only hitch is not having stories and instead having "i guess you had to be there" tales from the fringes, unless instead of a hitch you frame this as a bit

[beetlejuicesgraveyardrevue]

this used to be a proper country. you used to be able to get black olives at taco bell.

[star-spangled-man]

universities when they discontinue whole ass degree programmes, propose hundreds of job cuts, and cut departments for the third time this month

[technoxenoholic]

update from the curse of the polycotton mockup: i think the inside of the (longer) right sleeve has given me a bit of a rash (it's snuggest at the elbow when i bend my arm, and there are red spots on the skin on the inside of my elbow)

if my body is trying to convince me to wear less polyester in sensitive sweaty areas, i wish it would stop, because i don't actually need to be convinced of that TnT please body it's just a mockup i'm not going to do this to you long-term i will be wearing nice cottons and linens and rayons and blends between those with as little polyester as physically possible

[lemonsilly]

john crocker one chance please please (raising my hand pick me pick me i want to know more about him!!!!!)

YES YES YES HI HI HI HERES THE JOHN CROCKER DUMP!!! this is gonna be a long one bc im literally explaining his entire character, pls mind the autism

Jonathan "John" Crocker (lemonsilly ver)'s lore kind of follows the typical Alpha John structure with two critical exceptions!!

He stayed with the Crockercorp corporation

He's a bit younger here lol (I'd say 50s or maybe late 40s at the youngest, rather than the 86 y/o ver of Crocker we see in homestuck!)

To elaborate on point 1, I mean he kind of stayed tied to his mother and never really broke out of this familial tie. He's still an actor and comedian, however, he's also working under CrockerCorp (and thus, HIC). I've always imagined him being used for propaganda (and I get that HiC's rule was kinda more lowkey in HS proper but its not in my version!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc im insane abt the alpha guardians) and kind of seen as Hollywood's Darling.

His main reason for still sticking with Evil Troll Mom is a mix of obligation and a weird attachment to her. You know the experiment with monkeys with cloth mother and wire mother? She's John's wire mother.

Having been raised alone after Jade's escape, he grows to resent his sister (both from a combo of his own personal feelings and HIC's influence) and kind of clings to his mom like a baby koala. TLDR; big mama's boy in his late 40s-50s because trauma

Being a big time comedian and actor, John is probably the most charismatic man in Condywood (as I like to call it), next to David "Dave" Strider (more on that relationship later). He's very charming and quite silly too! In AUs where he's raising Jane (or any of the egbert/crockers for that matter, if you wanna get silly with it and include beta john), he's actually very good with her. Despite his erm .. everything! he is a doting father (which I guess is kind of OOC in terms of breath players and their massive fears of commitment, but we're already incredibly OOC for what any variation of John stands for so I kinda dont care)

His charisma is lethal, though. He doesn't use it for ill will very often! Because above all else, he's a pretty nice guy (usually). This unfortunately makes him HIC's biggest weapon in her arsenal.

This is where Dave Strider -- biggest anti-HIC fighter beside his sister, Rose Lalonde -- comes in.

Now, Dave and Rose's works are subtle. They're not too overt. This pushes them into stardom. Dave's movies are pretty pretentious, and even more pretentious if you actually pick up on the subliminal messaging. Bottom line is, HIC sends John to try to scrape as much information off of them (and possibly deal with them) as possible.

But the thing is, John kind of gets a weird fascination with Dave. Dave is kind of easy in terms of John's mission, as he's much more ... pliable ? (at least in my au JKGHHAGJK). Dave is a coked out, eccentric director who dances on the thin line of self-hatred and egocentricism. Dave is smart, don't get me wrong, and this is kind of what attracts John to Dave.

John kind of gets a desperate need to constantly one up this guy. It is always power and control to him. Once he somehow slithers into Dave's life, he holds what Dave wants just enough out of reach. Even outside of Condywood AU, I really like to portray them like this lololol. And being much more powerful than Dave, it is so easy to get one over him, even in the most subtle of ways. This need also stems from Dave also being able to get one over him (because Dave is smart). And Dave (rags to riches, new director) is a little guy -- in terms of society -- compared to John (born into wealth, famed comedian and actor). It's kind of a threat to John's ego, so he's kind of obsessed with catching Dave before he does anything.

Ok it's like 1 am and I've had a bit to drink and I need to wake up for work tomorrow SO I WILL END IT HERE but ohhhh i lvoe you john crocker. imagine that heart locket gif animation but with him

i imagine his voice to sound like Ian Bruce (The Correspondents) or Shayfer Jaymes... if this means anything ... i listen to Puppet Loosely Strung by The Correspondents and im like OMFG ITS HIM!!! (abt his feelings toward dave, bc he also kind of has this jealousy of how free dave is compared to him LOL)

[johnmalevolent]

i watched tate no yuusha back in 2019 when it still aired and i remember not liking the fact raphtalia turned into a grown woman in a short time. so the other day i was like hm years have passed and maybe my sense of judgment has changed and maybe i'll get the point of raphtalia's development better. but no. i hate it more now