#so my earlier theory is right
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lazysublimeengineer · 11 days ago
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Isagi be like don't touch me and spout some bs
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This panel is cold af
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insanebreadloaf · 22 days ago
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Rip lamp. You will be missed
this is my little piece of fanart of chapter 10’s final scene from @qoldenskies’s amazing fic Clipped wings
GO READ IT. GO READ THE CANARY CONTINUITY. BEWARE: it’s REALLY GOOD BUT HEAVY. ANGST ALL THE WAY
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bereft-of-frogs · 5 months ago
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I finally did it, I asked someone on reddit WHY they think Indara faked her own death in the first episode. Because I don't see any evidence of it and idk I just don't get the sense they'd throw out that much of a curve-ball without any foreshadowing? I feel like she'd definitely be coming up more. They almost never mention her except in the list of targets/the bit where Jecki is arresting Mae. But this theory keeps popping up and it's on my list of 'things that would tank the ending for me' if she turned out to have faked her death in some bizarre 5D chess match that hasn't been telegraphed in any way in the text. It's definitely way more foreshadowed that one or more of the witches is alive (see: 'my mother could do that' from last episode).
I get too wanting more Jedi Master Carrie-Anne Moss, but I think she's really just going to be in the second flashback episode and I'll take what I can get even if that ends up being a combined total of like 20 minutes of screentime XD
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keeps-ache · 11 days ago
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okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃
#just me hi#slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg#but i slept :D#wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh#//ooou my ear's doing the Thing#you know the thing. the thing it does. loll#ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years#oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not#even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol#i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3#//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3#don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3#//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me#so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee#us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny#we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg#but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such#and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3#anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger#i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head#anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my#hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo#now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg#//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol#i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd#anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827#but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!
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rays-of-fire-and-ice · 1 year ago
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I'll be doing a full write up later, but by God, this episode just left me...
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I died, came back to life, then died again. I...I need a nap.
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 8 months ago
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LOSING MY MIND RN
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bookishjules · 1 year ago
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highly recommed going with childhood friends to visit your old elementary school during summer vacation, when everyone's out of school and the playground is empty. and if the back door to the building just happens to be wide open... go on. take the opportunity to run around the halls and relive some beautiful decade(s)-old nostalgia. it may be boardering on crime, but it is also incredibly clensing, and may very well heal something inside of you.
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secret-sagau-my-beloved · 2 years ago
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Is it just me or is the achievement "Der Freischutz", aka "shoot a monster's weak point from very far away", impossible to get playing mobile
I've been pretty exclusively playing mobile because I frankly don't have a computer that can render the game without complete and utter lag, but I've been trying to get this achievement for like two days now in various different locations using various techniques because it was the last one of that set I needed, and it really was impossible
Like I was hitting the weak points from as far as it would render the monsters before they just disappeared and I still wasn't getting it
I tried poking around in the settings to see if it was possible to get them to render the monsters a bit farther away and I couldn't find any setting that made an impact on that, and I hadn't turned my settings down or anything I was still working at default
So anyway, today I finally downloaded it on my computer, went to the exact same location I had been trying, got it in two shots even with the excessive lag
I took pictures for comparison purposes
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That's exactly where I was standing when I got the achievement, the red dot was what I was shooting at, and the yellow circle next to the tree was where I'd have to be standing in order to see the exact same monster on mobile
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And here's a picture of me standing in that yellow circle area, if I moved even a step back that monster in the red circle would have disappeared completely, the ones on the higher platforms already had
It just doesn't really make sense for a game that kind of markets itself as mobile centered to have an achievement you can't get while playing that version—
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junewild · 2 years ago
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The Name of the Wind, you say 👀?... I hope you're having a good time with it so far! It's become one of my favorite series.
psa: getting asks makes my entire week & every time someone sends me one i absolutely light up. so keep it going. i adore each & every one of you.
and now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
sooooo
i left this in my askbox bc i kept going "i will get back to it. i will read at least halfway through it & then i will respond. this is a good motivator for me to read it. i want to read it so bad."
but to be honest, i got halfway through the introduction, said "i think i might need a physical copy, a pen, and a notebook to read this," & put it down. i will pick it up again SO, SO hard as soon as i am no longer reading 5 books a week with a pen & a notebook for school. but all of my intellectual reading space is spoken for until i finish comps at the beginning of march.
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the-name-is-loser · 2 months ago
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I now see why everyone was so obsessed with Alien Stage
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muchmossymess · 1 year ago
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Everyone look at how right they are /genuine
So we know how the previous winners had a theme of not playing the game "correctly" and winning, right?
Joel and bdubs purposefully guessing pearls tasks wrong so she's safe around them and etho making half the server fail their joint task because he won't let anyone hurt his allies
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depresseddepot · 7 months ago
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to avoid thinking about my cat's surgery I've been painting and I am so fucking bad at mixing colors lmao
#im bad at matching colors too#like usually im painting from some random picture i find online but this time im really trying to focus on what im doing#(to avoid thinking about the surgery)#and i am so so bad at color matching lmao#i even used a color match site so i could see what the color of an area REALLY is but even when i do that my colors are wrong#theyre like...the right tone but theyre all too dark#and lightening them with white makes the tone go off#is this color theory? /gen lol I've heard people say you need to learn color theory but i never knew what it was#anyway. for my next trick i will think obsessively about my wip. (to avoid thinking about the surgery)#okay i cant avoid it any longer. i am so fucking glad his surgery is tomorroe#hes having knee surgery and his knee has started CLICKING while he walks#im so nervous i feel like i could go into cardiac arrest but frankly i wish it had been yesterday or the day before#i wish we had taken him to the vet last thursday. i wish i had trusted my gut sooner instead of letting my mom talk me out of it#i wish i hadn't let him walk around with a torn ligament for over a fucking week#i wish we had the vet do xrays on his knees when he was a kitten so we could have prevented all of this#i wish i had a shorter bedframe so he didn't have to jump so high. i wish i could sleep on the floor so i could sleep with him in his cage#i wish i had desensitized him to car rides and vet visits when he was a kitten#i wish we knew who abused him and threw him onto the highway so i could kill them#i wish we had put him on anxiety medication earlier#i wish i was a trained veterinarian so i could do my own exams on him instead of taking him to a place he's terrified of#i wish i was confident enough to give him the injection he needs without fucking it up#god i fucking hope everything goes okay#pretending to laugh about how he'll have a nakey chicken leg isn't even working anymore#wip save me. save me wip
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thewispsings · 6 months ago
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PR nightmare | oscar piastri
paring: oscar piastri x singer!reader
summary: y/n is considered a pr nightmare. let’s watch her get into her first relationship.
notes: yet another repost from my old account, i tired to make it exactly the same, enjoy!
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— y/n has posted new pictures!
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liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 737,938 others!
yoursername: my manger told me to tell you guys that the illuminati is NOT real and i was just joshing around !! 😂👍👍😂
view comments below!
user1: ugh this is SO BELIEVABLE
user2: | WAS WAITING FOR THIS POST
user3: yeah let's all ignore the "i wrote songs about an f1 driver!!!!"
user4: the pictures 😭
yourmomsuser: pic credits?
yoursername: you're like 60 why do you know what pic credits are ??
user5: the illuminati is totally real 🙄
mclaren: 👀
yourusername: NO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING PLS LOOK AWAY
user6: no offense, but how did you stumble across F2 oscar???
yourusername: my brother is like a HUGE f1, 2, AND 3 nerd and he always forces me to watch races with him 😣
yourbrothersuser: you literally ask me to tell you when oscar's back on the screen???
yourusername: okay kill yourself????
yourbrothersuser: @/yourmomsuser
yourusername: GOD YOU ARE SUCH A SNITCH
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ynupdates: y/n and her brother; jacob, were seen at the airport earlier today, she later posted the picture on the right, on her story, confirming that she is in fact traveling. y/n has no shows coming up, and she rarely travels with jacob. thoughts?
view comments below!
user7: guys guys..the monaco grand prix in literally in two days.
user8: SHES GOING TO THE GRAND PRIX. I KNOW IT.
user9: why's her brother kinda??
user10: you can't even see his face 😭😭?
user9: I CAN JUST TELL
user11: everyone saying she's going to the grand prix are like getting my hopes up??????
user12: WATCH HER GO SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭
user13: okay guys..but we never talked about what songs could be about oscar
user14: IVE DONE SO MUCH THINK ABOUT THIS!!!
user13: GIRL PLEASE TELL
user14: OKAY OKAY!! one that REALLY stands out to me is "my love mine all mine" because, we all know y/n has never had a boyfriend before, SO when she writes love songs, obviously people speculate that she's in a relationship
user14: WHEN SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE INSPIRATION FOR "my love mine all mine" she said "i sadly do not have a boyfriend yet. but there is someone i've had my eye on for some time." SHE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OSCAR AND WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE
user15: istg if y/n doesn't show up in the paddock tomorrow, i will throw a fit.
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liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 837,938 others!
yourusername: i could tell you where i am and what im doing, but its funny reading the theories
view comments below !
user15: are you going to a secret illuminati meeting user16: pls y/n pls just tell us
user17: this is cruel AND YOU KNOW IT
user18: pls lord, let y/n go to the monaco grand prix🙏🙏
user19: there's no way she ISNT going to the grand prix, i mean she's with her brother, and he's literally like the biggest f1 fan ever?? why else would they be traveling together
user20: maybe they're traveling together because they're siblings😭😭 ?? it doesn't have to connect to f1
yourbrothersuser: y/n pls put the phone down. i need a good nights rest for tomorrow.
user21: TOMORROW ???? IS ??? THE ???? GRAND ??? PRIX ??? ARE ???? YOU ??? GUYS ???? GOING ????
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ynupdates: it seems like the rumors are true! y/n and jacob are currently at the grand prix!
view comments below!
user 22: 1 FUCKING KNEW IT
user23: everyone knew it...
user24: WHOO CAREEESSS oscar and y/n interaction WHEN ???
user25: ugh i NEED grid x y/n interactions RN
user26: y/n this, oscar that. WHAT I NEED IS TO SEE Y/NS BROTHER MEET MAX
user27: omg can you imagine how happy he is rn
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— mclaren has posted new photos!
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liked by yourusername, f1, yourbrother, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 837,938 others!
mclaren: monaco was a dream! thank you y/n for joining us view comments below!
view comments below!
user28: 1 SHOULVE BEEN THERE. I COULDVE METY/N. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME.
yourusername: thank you for having me🧡
user29: okay now make oscar and y/n kiss
yourbrothersuser: thank you for making my dream come true 🙏🙏
redbullracing: @/yourusername our garage next
yourusername: i think @/yourbrothersuser would enjoy that more then i ever could
redbullracing: he's always welcome to join 💙
yourbrothersuser: AHHHHHH OMG OMG
user30: okay now more grid x y/n content
user31: the way this became like a meet and greet for y/n was INSANE
user32: who would've thought there would be so many y/n fans at a F1 race??
user33: everyone's a y/n l/n fan.
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— y/n has posted new photos!
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liked by, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri 763,928 others!
yourusername: do you think he'll try weed with me now that he's my boyfriend?
view comments below !
user34: EXCUSE ME BOYFRIEND???
user35: OMG Y/N GOT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND!! АННННН
user36: OSCAR AND Y/N??? HELL YEAH
user37: okay let's just pretend that doesn't say what it says 😭
yourmanger: y/n please change that caption.
yourusername: i don't know how ☹️
user38: WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAPTION!!! Y/N AND OSCAR SHIPPERS RISE
mclaren: in case that caption isn't a joke, y/n please refrain from getting our drivers high.
yourusername: YOU GUYS ARE NO FUNN
user39: i love how public y/n is. like she genuinely acts like she doesn't have millions of followers
oscarpiastri: love i already told you, we cant get high.
yourusername: YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME.
maxverstappen1: i'll get high with you y/n 🙋‍♂️
redbullracing: no you will not.
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transgaysex · 1 year ago
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devastated at how full my class schedule is
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anisespice · 6 months ago
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“ the fuck-it list ” || hq! pt. 4
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one || two || three
synopsis: there’s a list going around consisting of hot guys on campus that are deemed “fuckable” with theories as to what they’d be like in bed. it’s all fun and games until somehow your boyfriend ends up on this list. 
pairing: seijoh4 x gn!reader [ oikawa, iwaizumi, mattsun, maki ]
warnings: mature content. MDI. cursing, suggestive language, mild objectification, the word “dick” said over a million times lol this chapter is basically bigdick!4 supremacy, corny behavior, camboy!maki, slight mentions of degradation, iwa’s is the shortest (I’M SORRY), some minor errors probably and i think that’s it :] !!
notes: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT :'))) life was kicking my ass and the last thing i could think about was getting metaphorically dicked down lol but hope you enjoy, thank y'all so much for your patience, and the last couple parts coming soon!
tagged: @daedaep69 , @ahahadumbo , @viktoryn , @mdsb , @ourgoddessathena , @ushygushybaby , @hyori2 , @lumpywolf , @fantasycantasy, @captaincyberqueen , @tsukiran
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OIKAWA would be the reason the list even exists, let’s be honest. 
But, for the sake of the plot, we’ll pretend otherwise.
Once again, without fail, after another grand win for the great king, he’s swarmed by his devoted groupies—Shoving their phones, gifts, and themselves in his face hoping to catch even a sliver of his attention.
And once again, you stood on the sidelines, impatiently waiting for him to leave the spotlight; irked your soul sometimes.
It’s not that you were against him being praised or anything, even though his head was fat enough to begin with, you loved the admiration people had for him. But there’s a fine line between being a fan and being a straight-up weirdo. 
And right now, they’re tap-dancing on that line something fierce. 
“Tooru!~ will you sign right here?” 
One pulled down the collar of her shirt, exposing more of her breasts that were pushed up damn-near to her chin whilst wearing a sultry smile. You caught a small glimpse of panic flash across his features before he covered it with a nervous laugh, eyes subtly shifting over to you as he replied. “..How 'bout a photo instead?” 
Things went on like that for the next few minutes. Someone would even take it a step further by flat out asking for his number, or if he was single. They already knew the answer to that, it was the same every time, yet they continuously tried their luck as if someday, through the power of delusion and manifestation, his answer would miraculously change despite you always attending his practices and his games, wearing his spare jersey, holding his hand, shoving your tongue down his throat, didn’t matter—Them hoes were relentless.
But, so were you. 
“Oh, Tooru!~ If you don’t wrap this up, you’ll be walking home!~” You sang, mirroring the tone of the girl from earlier. The semi-empty threat made the setter perk up like a hound, eyes wide as that same panic returned as well.
Although this time, he wasn’t so quick to play it off. 
“U-Uh,” he squeaked, then immediately covered by clearing his throat. “Yes, uh, well, it’s been great chatting with you all tonight. Thank you again for your love and support for the team, it's always appreciated. I hope you’ll continue to cheer us and myself oninthefuture—WAIT! [____]-chan! Don’t leave, y’know my poor legs won’t survive the walk back! Baby, c'mon, wait up!” 
Oikawa whined as he scrambled to catch up to your retreating form, no longer concerned with the crowd of disgruntled faces he left behind as they watched their object of affection slip away yet again. A small part of you wanted to turn back and stick your tongue out at them in petty victory, but you refrained. The sound of their great king pleading for your attention was satisfactory enough.
You barely made it outside before his long arms wrapped around your front, locking you to his chest as he leaned almost his entire weight on you. You could feel his heart thrumming against your head as he panted. Eventually, he huffed, no doubt pouting as he gently swayed you in his arms. “You’re mean.” 
Keeping your gaze forward, you frowned. “And I have the right to be. You said you’d tell some of those ‘fans’ of yours to chill out—it’s getting way out of hand, Tooru. That one girl practically flashed her damn tits at you, and you gawked like a virgin.” 
He chortled, incredulously, “I did not! She caught me off guard..!” 
“And yet, you rewarded her with a photo instead of calling out her inappropriate behavior. Make it make sense.” 
You attempted to shrug him off only for his hold to tighten, spinning you around to gaze at you with chocolate brown eyes resembling that of a puppy out in the rain—One of the unfair tactics of Tooru Oikawa to get back on your good side. You had full intent of ignoring him, standing your ground…but how could you possibly stay mad at that adorable face? 
Easy. By not looking directly at it. 
“Nuh uh. I don’t think so,” you gently pushed away the setter’s face, earning another whine in protest. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily. I’m really upset with you.” 
“Buh I dinit do anyfing,” he said through smooshed lips. 
“And that’s the problem. You need to set boundaries with them, Tooru. Things’ll only continue to get out of hand the longer you enable it. Next thing you know they’re clawing and biting at your flesh so they can take a piece of you home with them under their nails and in their teeth.”
Oikawa grimaced, leaning back. “Ew. Graphic. They’re fans, baby, not rabid animals. I think you may be exaggerating.”
You cocked a brow. “Am I now? Well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
The team had never seen their captain move so fast in their entire season. This was the first time he’d just straight up avoided his entourage and head straight for the showers after practice, scurrying off like his ass was on fire. Questions would spark around the gym about this drastic shift in behavior.
“What’s his deal?” One player voiced. “Usually he sticks around at least another hour to entertain his cult.”
“Not sure. After our last game, he’s been skittish.” Another replied.
A third jumped in after taking a swig of his water. “Think it’s got something to do with that..thing we saw the other night?”
The small group thought back to when all of their phones went off at the same time, social medias in a frenzy about their very own star player. At first glance, they figured it was just highlights of their game, specifically highlighting Oikawa. But, upon further inspection…it was something else entirely.
'Tooru Oikawa. 6’3ft King of the Court, and also our hearts. Being notoriously known as the campus pretty boy, loved by many and envied by the rest, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to consider him the blueprint—The default setting of everyone’s wet dream. He’s a tall, talented, smooth-talker with playful eyes and a panty-dropping smile, a textbook definition of  ‘Prince Charming’. Everybody and they mama, daddy, even bald-headed granny would kill to jump this man’s bones. Many would see him as the romantic type, but there’s something more…unhinged hidden beneath the pretty-boy persona. After much debate, our beloved setter is to be dubbed a whole SWITCH, no nintendo. At first he’ll play the dominant role, but edge him long enough and you’ll bring the Great King to his knees, quivering, drooling, you name it. He’s shameless. 9.5/10 - half a point deducted for his inferiority/superiority complex. Get some therapy, babe. ♡’
They didn’t think much of it at the time, when it came to their attention whore of a captain, it wasn’t completely unexpected, especially if his groupies had anything to do with it. The players looked at one another, then back at the gaggle of hormones waiting for the brunette in question by the doors. It was unanimous.
“Yep.” “Uh-huh.”
The third player snorts. “‘bout time it sucked to be him for once.”
When Oikawa eventually exited the locker room, he did everything in his power to appear small, tip-toeing across the floor with his head down and shoulders hunched in crouching tiger-like fashion. He would’ve gotten away scott-free…if not for his petty teammates.
“See ya tomorrow, captain!”
It bounced off the gym walls, the setter grimacing as his devoted followers instantly looked in his direction, predatory gazes stunning him like a deer caught in headlights. Oikawa shot the players a nasty glare over his shoulder, flipping them off and continuing for the exit. He attempted to stiff-arm his way through the hoard, ducking and dodging their grabby hands and shutting down their…bolder advances.
“Tooru-chan!~ Let me show you what I’m capable of, I’ll have you begging in no time, just say the word!~”
“Unhinged men are so my type—Step on me, spit on me, call me names until I cry, I want it all!~”
“I bet it’s bubblegum pink, right? Does it curve to the left or right?”
Oikawa blanched. “Ladies, please, this is ridiculous! You all know I’m in a relationship with-”
“They don’t have to know.”
One had tried reaching out to touch him, but was quickly thwarted when the setter grabbed her wrist. Not tight enough to hurt, but enough to get the message across—Too far. Everyone came to a hush at the sudden display, cowering slightly at the intensity that pooled in his eyes, dark and cold as he fixed the whole group with a stern expression. You were right (obviously). Things escalated the second they were given an inch, with complete disregard to his boundaries and what you meant to him.
These weren’t fans. Not real ones, at least.
Oikawa deeply exhaled through his nose, calming himself down to keep from saying something he’d regret. Releasing the girl’s wrist, the setter gently moved her out of his personal space, resadjusting his bag and sporting a rather disinterested expression.
“It appears you all have misunderstood your place. I’ll forgive that disgusting comment only once. But, if this obscene, rude, and down right shameful behavior continues, I’ll have no choice but to inform the coach of your harassment and have you banned from future practices and games. Do I make myself clear?”
When you arrived to pick up Oikawa per usual, you were surprised to see that he was already waiting for you, not a single group ie in sight.
Skeptical, you looked around as you approached him, thinking those buzzards were still in listening distance, just waiting to pounce. But, when all you’re welcomed with was a big hug and kiss, you relaxed. Oikawa pulled back and gave you a sheepish smile. He explained everything that had happened, rubbing his the back of his neck in embarrassment. When he finished, he looked down at you with those same puppy eyes he gave you the other day.
“Please don’t say I told you so?”
You cooed, reaching up to fiddle with his hair at his nape. He leaned into your touch, content. Until you said, “I told you so.”
He frowned. “You’re MEAN.”
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Once IWAIZUMI learned it involved Oikawa in any way, that’s all he needed to know to have no interest in the list. Sort of like Sakusa, if the topic gets brought up, he finds himself tuning out. The last thing he needed was to get dragged into whatever mess his dumbass best friend got himself involved with. But, unfortunately for him, one doesn’t simply choose to be on the list…the list chooses you.
And one afternoon, the former ace was the unlucky winner.
‘Hajime Iwaizumi. 5’10ft hunk made of pure Husband Material. We’re talking the man who’ll open doors for you, pull out chairs, hold your bags without fuss, give you massages, cook you hearty meals, the whole nine yards. With that information in mind, you can’t tell me he’s not an absolute DOG in the bedroom. I’m talking about a man who’ll bully your insides, manhandle you and call you his “favorite cocksleave” or his “pretty little whore”. He’s the type to say the nastiest shit in your ear and tease you for the cute reactions you’d give him before shoving his tongue down your throat, while his dick kisses your appendix. Definitely a Hard Dom who only rewards good behavior, so if you plan to be a brat to this man—Good luck. But, as soon as he’s fucked that attitude outta you he’s back to being such a sweetheart! So so so attentive, so devoted, and will do anything for you. He’s God’s favorite. 1000000/10.’
“Oh? .. Hey, babe.” You said, curiously. Iwa grunted in response. “You know that list thingy Oikawa-?”
“Nope.” He easily answered, eyes focused ahead and he continued bench pressing the heavy bar.
You slap his chest. “You didn’t even let me finish!” He responded with a playful smirk, making you lightly slap him again.
Straddling his lap while he pumped iron was routine. It consisted of him doing what he does and you keeping him company, soaking up his presence until you inevitably left for your next lecture. Sometimes you kept count for him, other times you’d happily just be a distraction; today you did both.
“Haji,” you whined, wiggling a little. He ignored you on purpose, stubbornly refusing to indulge the topic. But that didn’t deter you from pestering him. “Ha-ji-me!”
“Ba-by-doll,” he echoed, grunting shortly after when he placed the heavy weight back on the rack, finished with the set. Panting, he sat up and readjusted you in his lap, hands resting on your thighs as he finally looked at you, amused at your scowl. “I don’t get why you’re so interested in that shitty list.”
“I’m not…until now.”
“Why?”
Turning your phone screen to show him the updated post, Iwa’s eyes scanned it before his brows furrowed in confusion, then tightened with irritation, jaw clenched and annoyance clear on his face. He let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes to unsee it and merely laying back down on the bench. “Block them.”
You gaped. “What? No way!”
“It’s nothing but perverts with too much time on their hands,” he grunted, lifting up the bar and beginning his set. “It’ll rot your brain. Or what’s left of it, anyways.”
With a dramatic gasp, you retorted with, “Jerk. I’ll retweet and tell them you also love sucking on toes, how ‘bout that?”
Iwa paused mid-push. He eyed you from his laying position, voice dangerously low as he said, “Try it and I’ll bench press you next.”
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“Hm.”
Through squinted eyes, MATTSUN briefly scanned the bright screen of Maki’s phone displaying the updated post that started circulating around their group for the past few minutes. Without much reaction, one would think he was too buzzed to be able to even comprehend it.
But he understood all too well.
‘Issei Matsukawa. 6’2ft lazy ass with a third leg. Doesn’t matter if he looks like he uses 5-and-1 body wash, he smells DELECTABLE. And don’t get me started on the gray, low-hanging joggers he usually wears around campus—He needs to be arrested walking around with a concealed weapon in those sweats��sir, put it in me AWAY. The literal embodiment of “If it slaps his thigh when he walk, I’ll listen when he talk.” The ultimate brat-tamer tbh. You can’t get under his skin, he’s so nonchalant and laid back, your attitude would just be foreplay for him (HIS FREAKY ASS). And if you think he’s already big on soft??? Bitch. Gon head and call outta work for tomorrow. 50/10.’
“Uh..congrats?” Kindaichi gave an awkward thumbs up.
Maki snickered, tongue in cheek. “Yeah, man, how’s it feel being ‘dick of the week’? They’re even givin’ it nicknames ‘nd shit.” He scrolled further into the depths of debauchery. Peering from over his shoulder to see for himself, Kunimi‘s face scrunched in mild disgust.
“Someone called it ‘The Door-Knocker’? Fucking cringe.”
“Fucking retweet.” The strawberry blonde hummed in approval. “Oo, I like this one—‘The Punisher’. That’s badass.”
Yahaba snickered only to then start choking on his drink, snatching Kyotani by the front of his shirt for support as he hacked for air. The wing-spiker merely glared, winding his hand back to beat the shit out of his back. “Ack! Kyo—fuc-! BRO STOP.”
“I’m helping.”
“You’re killing me!”
“Same thing,” he grunted.
Mattsun snorted, taking another swig of beer. After skimming through the thread, he lowly drawled out, “Cool, I guess. No big deal.”
He didn’t know much about the list, only that if you ended up on it you were pretty much an ace in the game of dick-slanging. But, he didn’t need some thirsty randoms on the internet telling him that he fucks. He had you to attest to all that, and your opinion was the only one that truly mattered. Not that either of you would kiss and tell.
His friends, on the other hand, felt otherwise. As far as they were concerned, Mattsun was a single man. And right now, he was shitting on a blessing sent from the gods. Maki halted his sip to eye his best friend, beer can lowering suspiciously. “No big deal?”
Mattsun shrugged. “t’s what I said.”
Yahaba finally caught his breath, chiming in with a winded, “Yeah right…you’re probably itching to check your DMs. Tell me ‘m wrong.”
“Ok. You’re wrong,” he replied, chugging the remainder of his beer can before crushing it. Yahaba went to argue, but Mattsun cut him off by speaking through a burp. “Don’t got the energy…to entertain someone who just wants my dick.”
“Don’t you mean, ‘Door-knocker’?” Kunimi teased.
“I thought it was ‘The Punisher’..?” Watari asked, uncertain.
“I saw ‘Horse Cock’ on there.” Kindaichi grimaced.
Mattsun shook his head. “Whatever. Point is, ‘m not interested in racking up my body count anytime soon, so those DMs will just go unanswered. Hell, maybe even deleted.”
“Bullshit,” Maki challenged. He points an accusing finger. “There’s another reason. It’s ‘cause you’re already screwing around with someone, aren’t ya?”
A silence fell upon the group, all eyes instantly honing in on the taller male with metaphorical ears raised high in scandalized curiosity, some (read: Kindaichi and Yahaba) more obvious about it than others. Mattsun merely gave a halfhearted shrug, neither denying nor confirming the information. “Aha! See, see, look at ‘em, dodging the question! He’s so cuffed.”
“No shot,” Yahaba deadpanned, “mister ‘Noncommittal’ himself?”
Mattsun glared. “Oi. I commit to stuff.”
“He’s gettin’ defensive.” Kunimi pointed out with a wry grin.
“Must be true, then.” Kyotani nodded, mischievous glint in his eye.
The others hummed in agreement, theorizing about his type in partners and how there could be a potential special someone in their senior’s life, while the bastard behind it all watched smugly on the couch, sipping his drink like a gossiping old biddy. Mattsun squinted in annoyance at his best friend. “Et tu, dumbass?”
Maki raised his hands, “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You basically told on yourself. No guy in their right mind would ever pass up on that many opportunities unless he’s A) Stupid, B) Aro/Ace, or C) Spoken for. Now, my vote’s between A and C, but feel free to update me on your sexual orientation.”
Mattsun flipped him off, sporting a sarcastic expression.
His phone then began to vibrate on the table. As quickly as they looked at the former middle blocker, everyone’s gaze shot toward the offending device, then back on him; expectantly. Despite his calm exterior the brunette felt his heart-rate spike, brow twitching at the childish looks and jeers he started getting, borderline peer-pressuring him to pick it up.
After a few seconds of continuous ringing, Kunimi huffed in mild annoyance for him to, “Answer it, already.”
Maki added fuel to fire by saying, “Unless you want one of us to answer for you-” Mattsun snatched the phone off the table.
With the grace of a gorilla, he stood from the couch and quickly shuffled to the corner of the room. Answering it, he cleared his throat, face flushing at the chorus of snickers coming from behind him as he greeted you with a simple, but elated, “Hey.”
“Hey, ‘sei!”
“Hey,” he said again, breathing out a small chuckle. “Can’t sleep?”
You responded with your own chuckle. “Yeah, actually. I was wondering if you’d wanna maybe…ride around with me? I’m thinking McDonald’s. Oo! Or that wing place by campus, y’know, the one with the teriyaki flavor you liked? I think they don’t close until, like, 2am. Or…was it 1am?”
Mattsun snorted at your rambles, leaning against the wall as he let you continue. Unbeknownst to him, the guys were practically stacked on top of each other, stretching their ears to hear your voice. From what they could pick up, you sounded so upbeat, animated as you spoke. They watched in awe as their senior barely spoke but was engaged in whatever you were saying, nodding along and humming to let you know he was still listening. If he wasn’t faced the other way, they were certain they’d see a smitten expression on his face.
“Mhm.. mhm. Yeah, ‘m sure that squirrel really appreciated you sharing your almonds, baby.”
“BABY???” The group exclaimed.
The brunette jumped slightly, completely forgetting where he was for a moment there. He briefly looked over his shoulder before turning back towards the wall with a groan—Every single one of those bastards were either grinning or gaping in shock. Mattsun cursed under his breath. You made a noise of confusion.
“Are you with the guys? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt! We can totally chill another night if you-”
“Nah, was just about to leave. Think I’ve entertained these assholes long enough.” He grumbled, walking over to grab his jacket, but not before thumping Maki on the head; the latter hissed through his teeth in pain as he held the throbbing spot. “Rather be with you anyways. I’ll send the address, lemme know when you’re outside.”
“O-Oh, okay then!” You giggled, flattered. “I’ll see you soon. Love you!”
He turned back to look at the group, smug as they still watched him with disbelief painted on their faces as Mr. Non-committal was ditching them to hang with his commitment. Like he tried to tell them before, he didn’t need some thirsty randoms on the internet. He had you, and that’s more than enough.
“Love you too, [_____].” Then, he walks out. Leaving the room in even more chaos compared to when he first answered the phone, immediately on his ass as the scrambled after him for answers.
“[______]?????”
Who would’ve guessed their sweet, beloved volleyball manager from high school was the one getting visits from “The Punisher”.
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Within his inner circle, MAKI is usually overlooked. He’s not popular like Oikawa, nor jacked like Iwa, and he’s doesn’t have the whole ‘sexy aloof’ vibe like Mattsun. He’s just…tall. And funny—The ‘Pete Davidson’ of the group. At least, that’s what your friends called him. Somehow, once again during your outing with them at the mall the topic of your relationship became the focal point of the conversation, stretching their brains for why you were so enamored with a guy like him.
“He gotta be packin’. Like, I’m talking anaconda.”
“Type shit. Y’know what they say about them tall and skinny ones.”
You rolled your eyes, wry smirk spreading across your face as you busied yourself sifting through a clothes rack. The conspiratorial discussion had been going on for the past ten minutes, throwing anything and everything at the wall until something stuck—Meaning, waiting for you to confirm. “[_____]. Be honest. It’s ‘cause of his dick, right?”
A lady standing on the other side of the rack gasped in shock, face twisting up in revulsion as she clutched her purse before stomping away, scandalized. You snorted, peeking over your shoulder to raise an eyebrow at them while they struggled to suppress their childish merriment at the poor woman’s embarrassment.
“Quit it before they kick us out.” You attempted to sound stern, but there was no hiding your own amusement. One friend playfully nudged you while the other began to snicker. “And no, it’s not because of that. It’s a bonus, though.”
The first gasped, then exclaimed, “So it is big!”
“’m not finna start with you,” you replied looking back at the clothes, pretending not to know them as nearby customers gave the side-eye. Neither one paid any mind as they continued to gossip. “We have this conversation every time we go out. Give it a rest.”
“Not until you tell us what you see in him.”
“I mean, I get it, but then I look at his friends and…” she hissed through her teeth, shaking her head. “I’m just saying. You fumbled.”
“I’m not taking that from someone who slept with a door dasher just because they got the restaurant to put extra sauce in your bag.”
The guilty party gaped, “It wasn’t included in their instructions, they were a real one for that!”
“Still don’t know why you did it,” the other friend sighed. “The food was cold, and I’m certain they took some of my fries.”
“Shut up, we’re not talking about my poor life choices, we’re talking about [_____]’s.”
“Fuck you,” you laughed. “You two need to get off my man. You haven’t even properly met him yet. He’s a sweetheart, he treats me like royalty, and I don’t care what y’all say, that man is fine.”
“Please. You’re just dickmatized.”
“Enough about his dick already!”
Your outburst drew the attention of a nearby employee; the store manager. Even though she wore a professional smile, you could see death in her eyes. With a nervous smile, you gave an apologetic wave before quickly grabbing your friends by their arms and escorting yourselves out before you got banned. Your closet was getting full, anyways.
“Look…I know the guys I’ve dated in the past were…questionable. But, I really like this one. And I swear the pictures I showed you don’t do him justice, his goofy ass just never sits still.”
They looked skeptical, having heard that one before. You huffed.
“Alright. How about I invite him over tonight? That way you have a chance to get to know him better. And if you’re still iffy, then…then you’ll have to get over it because you love me dearly and want me to be happy and just because you don’t think he’s attractive doesn’t mean I don’t, he is very gorgeous to me-!”
“[_____], honey, breathe.”
You stopped to inhale, then concluded with a small, “Please?”
They exchanged another look of skepticism, until the second added one condition. “He better not show up empty-handed.”
When the doorbell rang, the mood instantly shifted in the room, your friends going silent and gazes sharp as they looked at your door. Unbeknownst to all of you, on the other side of the door, Maki shivered, confused where that sudden chill came from. You gave them an eager, though strained, smile before scampering over to greet your awaiting guest. Upon opening the door, your smile slowly dropped at the sight of Maki sipping out of a large styrofoam cup with the words 'Big Gulp' written on it, dressed casually in sweats and a beanie, appearing very empty-handed.
After he swallowed, he gave a drawled, "Yo."
Your eye twitched. "Takehiro." He hummed, taking another sip of his drink. "Remember that important thing we discussed over the phone? Literally the only thing I asked you not to be when you got here?"
He thought about it, taking note of the daggers you were shooting at his cup. Maki made a noise of realization. "Oh, right. I bought snacks too, buuut I accidentally ate ‘em all on the way. My bad. But, look," he shook the cup, "technically still not empty-handed."
A small part of you wanted to be mad, frustrated at the least...but there was no hiding the giggle you rewarded him with, of which turned into more giggles. With sigh, you stepped forward to wrap your arms around his middle in a hug. "You’re so dumb."
"Missed you, too." He playfully rolled his eyes, returning the hug and craning his neck to kiss your forehead. The two of you stood there for a moment, just basking in each other's warmth. But, the moment was short-lived when he gave a long, exaggerated exhale through his nose before murmuring, "Ready?"
"...No." You groaned.
"Damn, do they bite or something?"
"No, they’re just...unfiltered. I love them, don't get me wrong, but they can work on your nerves to an olympic degree. You'll see once we get inside...They're gonna ask about your dick, by the way. Just ignore it."
Maki snorted, bewildered. "I'll try my best."
"Also...try not to mention that...other thing."
"What other thing?"
"You know," you raised your brows, looking over your shoulder in case they were eavesdropping before softly continuing, "that post."
It took a second, but he eventually caught on to what you meant.
‘Takehiro Hanamaki. 6’0ft shameless manslut (affectionately) who’s taken the campus by storm with his rather...interesting side hobby that pretty much has every student reaching for their wallets and switching to incognito mode on their browsers. Who would’ve guessed that lanky, low-eyed beanpole had the talent to film such erotic content and put a whole industry to shame with just his smartphone and a couple LED lights? After getting past the paywall and binging his videos (for research) it’s safe to say this man is very much a power bottom, maybe even a top depending on his mood, with a fowl mouth that’s not afraid to moan like a porn star. Best $200 I’ve ever spent (FOR RESEARCH). Highly recommend if you’re interested in having the best guided orgasm of your life—Link is in the thread! Get that bag, king. 10/10.’
A shit-eating grin stretched across his face instantly. He bounced his eyebrows, leaning down to teasingly say, "Ohh. That post. What? Don't want 'em to know how I make my living? Or, you scared they'll find out you're my number one supporter, always touching themselves just behind the camera-"
"Hiro!" You hissed, face set ablaze as you looked over your shoulder again, anxious. He found your reaction cute, using the straw in his cup to poke your cheek. You huffed at him. "I don't want them to pry. I doubt they've seen it since they go to a different uni, and I'd like to keep it that way. Okay?"
He easily shrugged. “You’re the boss.”
You exhaled, relieved. “Thank you.” You turned to head back inside, knowing your friends were just itching to bombard Maki, however you were stopped when he grabbed your arm.
“But.”
“…But?”
“I’ll let the dick-related questions slide and keep my side hustle under wraps, but you have to do something for me in exchange for my good behavior.”
You tilted your head, nervous. “Like what?”
His grinned mischievously, eyes half-mast as he used his free hand to hold your jaw, making you gasp softly when he tilted your head back. “Instead of being behind the camera in my next video…my number one supporter has to be the star.”
You rapidly blinked, heat traveling throughout your body once you registered his words. Fumbling over your own, you didn’t have time to protest when the door behind you opens wide, revealing your impatient friends. Maki let go of your jaw and settled for wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close as he waved at them with the hand that still had the large cup in it.
“‘sup.” He flashed them a sly grin. Maki took in their shocked faces, hoping they were a good sign as he introduced himself. “[_____]’s told me a lot about you guys. Hope you didn’t mind me crashing your get together.”
They absolutely did not mind.
You weren’t lying—Those pictures you showed did him dirty. Nothing could’ve prepared them for the uno reverse that was Takehiro Hanamaki. From his lax posture and cozy demeanor, sleepers build and cute smile, it’s no wonder you were drawn to him. Plus he’s funny with a big dick (allegedly)?????
After you composed yourself, still reeling from your conversation earlier, you eventually mustered up a triumphant smile at your friends as they gaped up at Maki, speechless. “So? You guys still think I fumbled?”
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moonstruckme · 2 months ago
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hello mae! all your spooky drabbles have been amazing, you’re so talented! i was wondering if i can request a poly!marauders spooky drabble where they have a horror/slasher marathon and both reader and sirius are being insufferable trying to predict who’s the killer and remus is just being the voice of reason to all their theories and james just enabling them, asking them questions and its all fluffy?? thank you! hope you’re having a great spooky season 🎃🫶
Thank you lovely!!
cw: suggestive content
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 821 words
“It’s that actress,” Sirius muses, voice softened the way it always gets when you play with his hair. “What’s her name?” 
“That one?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Mia Goth.” 
Sirius adjusts his head on your chest. “Right, her. She never really plays the innocent, does she?” 
“Mm, you don’t think they’re trying to trick us?” 
A door opens down the hall, and you jump a little. Sirius chuckles, giving you a squeeze where his arms are wound underneath your jumper. “Chicken.” 
James waltzes into the living room looking properly rumpled. He’d dragged Remus away as soon as your workerbee boyfriend had gotten home, sequestering him in your bedroom. 
“Our entertainment wasn’t good enough for you?” Sirius asks as he sits down. 
James lifts Sirius’ legs, shuffling underneath so he’s closer to both of you. “Remus was gone all day,” he says simply. “I missed him.” 
“I can see that,” you laugh, poking at a red mark on his neck. “Jamie, what happened here?”
“Shh.” James nestles in close to kiss the skin by your ear. “You should see the other guy.”
Remus walks in, nimble fingers buttoning his shirt, but not before you spot the half dozen hickeys scattered about his chest.
“You deviants,” Sirius gripes. You suspect he’s a tiny bit wounded at being left out of the lovefest. “Movie night is supposed to be for all of us, and now you’ve missed half the middle.” 
“The middle’s always the most predictable part anyway,” says Remus, sitting down and putting his feet on the coffee table. 
Sirius kicks at him vengefully. Remus catches his foot, casting him an unimpressed look while he presses his thumb into the ticklist part of Sirius’ arch. Your boyfriend yelps, yanking his foot back. His fingers tighten around your middle. 
“Who are we thinking the killer is?” James picks up the bowl of kettle corn he’d abandoned on the coffee table earlier, scooping up a handful. Remus silently collects the pieces that fall onto the couch. 
One of Sirius’ hands comes out of your sweatshirt to take a piece. “Maybe Mia Goth.” 
“Ahh, I see. Who’s that?” 
“The blonde one there,” you say. 
“Oh, her.” James murmurs to Remus, “Have we seen her before?”
“Yeah, Jamie.” 
“I don’t know, I kind of wonder if it could be the mom,” you say. “You don’t usually see any real adults in these. It seems like the setup for something.” 
Remus hums. “Have any of her kids been killed?” 
You frown. “Well, yeah.” 
“I wouldn’t put my money on her, then.” 
You and Sirius exchange a look. Remus has a pretty stellar track record when it comes to guessing the killer in these films. You both want him to be wrong, but he’s likely right. 
“You never know,” says Sirius. He’s begun tracing patterns into your skin with his fingertips, phantom tattoos over your ribs. “They always have a partner in these things. Her partner could have betrayed her by killing one of the kids. Or she could be a psychopath that wants to escape the constraints of her domestic life, and this whole thing is just a way to kill off her kids without anybody suspecting her.” 
“Diabolical,” James mutters, shoving more kettle corn in his mouth. Three pieces tumble to the couch, which Remus picks up. 
“You guys always get caught up in the tropes,” Remus says. “It keeps you from seeing the logical choice.” 
Sirius frowns up at you. You pet his head. “You’re no fun,” he says to Remus.
“Oi,” Remus laughs, “I’m only trying to help you.” 
“They don’t want to know who the killer is, love,” says James, leaning his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder consolingly. “They want to shoot off theories and then be surprised by the end.” 
You and Sirius gawp. “That’s not true!” you say. 
James looks genuinely confused. “It’s not?” 
“No! Obviously we want to know who it is.” 
“That’s it.” Sirius waves them away with a sweep of his hand. “Go back to your debauchery, leave us to enjoy our film.” He snuggles close to you, leaning up to kiss the underside of your jaw. “We won’t let them spoil it for us, sweetness.” 
“Wait, no,” James laughs. “We’re sorry.”
“We won’t spoil anything,” Remus vows. He leans around James to give you a soft look, and you feel your lips tilt up unwillingly. 
Sirius regards them both coolly. “You’ll be good for the rest of the film?” 
Remus’ eyes flash with amusement, and he grabs Sirius’ foot again, the threat potent. 
“We’ll be good,” James agrees. 
You and Sirius look at each other, both pretending to deliberate whilst suppressing your grins. He’s much better at it than you are.
“All right,” he says magnanimously. “You can stay.” 
“Good. It is our flat, too, you know.” James grabs a heaping fistful of kettle corn, bringing it to his mouth. 
Several pieces overflow, falling to the couch. Remus sighs. “Honestly, James.” 
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