#so my choice is purely down to 'this did nothing for the development of my OCs'

[sleidog]

don't feel like spreading the poll of the week because theres enough negativity and pointed-ness around, however

[meowrimo]

HELP ME HELP YOU — ༉‧₊˚.

ft. dick grayson !

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : poison ivy has been flying under the radar and weaponizing her pollen to fellow criminals. it’s a shame you and dick find out the hard way.

꒰ CONTENTS ꒱ : MDNI. f!reader. dub-con bc of sex pollen (they’ve both been pining for each other tho), dry humping, slight exhibitionism, unprotected sex, oral (f + m receiving, 69, face sitting), cum eating, multiple orgasms, missionary, mating press, cowgirl, pet names (baby, pretty), praise, creampies, mentions of breeding, light impact play (slaps your thigh once), begging, mentions of sweat and saliva, slight overstimulation, almost pure smut tbh it’s just filth — WC : 6.1k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : mind the tags !! i’ve been wanting to write a sex pollen fic for so long i’m so excited i finally did it ! enjoy !!

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ᰔ*.ﾟ

another drizzly night in gotham, filled with blaring police sirens and a heavy dose of crime. patrol was going as planned for the most part. apprehending a few criminals here and there, but nothing major. to dick, it was a semi-quiet night. one that left him reflecting on his life or rather, his recent choices.

truth be told, he had missed gotham. even though it wasn’t in a much better state when he had left, a large part of him knew he belonged here. bludhaven had been a good experience for him to try and break away, start his own thing. but when it came down to it, he missed it here. missed the people here, some more than others.

dick eventually got a tip from tim, stating that there were a couple of criminals causing a scene a few blocks down the road. he made it there quickly, only to run into you.

normally, it wasn’t a rare sight to see you out on patrol at the same time as him, but lately, it’s been harder to be around you. he knew he was developing feelings for you, no, he already had feelings for you. but it was all so confusing. the two of you had been friends for so long, since you were teenagers.

but then he left and you stayed. even though he’s been back for about a month, it still feels like he doesnt get to see enough of you. and when he’s finally around you, he just doesn’t know how to act anymore. 

“and here i thought you’d never show up, nightwing.” you tease, getting ready to apprehend the criminals that were trying to make their next move. he easily side stepped to get into a closer range to them, ready to bring them down with you. but truthfully, a large part of his focus wasn’t on them at all.

“you know i can never resist.” he smirks. the two of you start fighting off the criminals, landing quick, steady punches. 

“resist showing off, you mean.” you scoff, swinging your fist around, lodging it in one of the criminals' sides.

“ouch,” dick takes out one of his batons, twirling it around in his hand before using it against one of the enemies. “and here i was going to help you out of the goodness of my heart, my mistake.”

the two of you move in sync, your fighting styles mimicking each other as you attempt to take down the criminals. even though it’s been awhile, the two of you mesh well together just like old times.

“why don’t you sit back and watch how it’s done, boy wonder.” you drop down, palm hitting the pavement as you dodge an incoming attack. you use the momentum to sweep your feet under the apprehender, knocking him on his back. 

“i must’ve struck a nerve for you to use that nickname on me.” he smirked, trying to see how far he can crawl under your skin. the criminals were still trying to fight you both, but it was a cakewalk for him. he’d rather just stand around and tease you all night if he could.

“you’re always on my nerves.” you huff, pushing a villain off of you, watching them hobble backwards before you ready for another attack.

“gotta get your attention somehow, don’t i?” he hit one of the criminals in the gut, trying to swiftly take him down.

before you can retort, you hear something clink to the floor near dick before gas starts to surround it. you both pause, attention shifting on the strange device. the criminals use the momentary lapse to their advantage.

“that’ll keep them busy for awhile.” one of the criminals snicker as they make their escape. you take a step towards them but dick holds you back, his hand gripping onto you.

something felt like it was crawling up his spine, a heat that grew more the longer he touched you. 

“what are you doing?” you question him, ripping your arm from his hold. but then he realized, not touching you sent spikes of pain throughout his body, yearning for some sort of relief that he didn’t know how to get.

he tries to shake it off to focus on the task at hand, pressing against his ear piece, trying to contact tim.

“nightwing.” tim greets as he presses the button. dick crouches down to look at the device the criminals threw, your eyes tracking his movements with curiosity. “report?”

“looks like the criminals threw a toxin at us, i’m not sure what it is but it let out a puff of gas when it hit the ground. judging by the design of it i’d say,” dick pauses, eyes widening as he flips it over in the palm of his hand. a small, green plant painted onto the side of the device. “ivy.”

“alright, report back to the batcave. there’s been rumors that she’s been weaponizing her special pollen so we will have an antidote ready. did anyone else get hit? or are you alone?” tim replies, typing away on his keyboard.

dick looks over at you, holding your gaze for a moment. his mouth feels dry, words lodged in his throat as his body shivers. he tells tim he’s with you.

“dick, whatever you do, do not give into any urges, okay? christ, i didn’t know she’d be out on patrol too, she wasn’t even scheduled.” the frustration in his voice is tinged with anxiety and panic, knowing fully well the extent of getting hit by ivy’s pollen. “both of you get back here immediately. signing off.”

“affirmative.” dick nods, letting tim break the line for now. his eyes hadn’t left yours and he watched as you back up towards the wall behind you. he mirrors your movements, his thoughts growing hazier by the second. his more primal urges start to fight logic, a new battle unfolding in his mind.

he holds onto the wall, planting his back firmly against it as his hands form a fist. the sensation is back again, prickling under his skin like an itch he can’t scratch. it’s driving him mad, sweat starting to coat his body. everything was hot, searing. any self control he had was quickly slipping through his fingers, his heart racing out of his chest. 

even looking at you seems to make it worse, so he keeps his head against the wall, looking up at the dark sky as he tries to find the strength to move. he needs a plan, something to grasp and ground him to reality before he throws caution to the wind and takes you right here in this alleyway.

so he decides he just… won’t give in. that’s it, he’ll stay on this side of the wall while you stay on the other and then you go back to the cave and get the antidote. perfect.

“dickie.” or well, it would’ve been. his attention reluctantly goes over to you as you use his nickname, eyes burning trying to keep them on your face. but the way your voice sounded, the lilt of desperation packed into it had him curious. his eyes trail down your body, watching the way your chest heaves up and down, your thighs clenching together.

“yeah?” he swallows, eyes averting to the ground, his fingers curling deeper into his fist until he’s sure his nails are about to break the skin. 

“it hurts.” you all but whimper and his resolve cracks in half. it was always his dream to be your hero, to be someone you look up to and respect. being your knight in shining armor and eventually wooing you over one day. with the way your voice sounded, he needed to save you, do anything to make you feel better. seeing you in pain like this clawed at his heart, leaving his chest wide open. “please, i don’t know what to do.”

he’s never seen you look so helpless. you’ve always had an air of confidence about you whenever you put on your suit. you took being a hero seriously, one of the many things he admired about you. but this? he’s never seen you like this. and it stirred something within him.

he swallows thickly, trying to grab control of his thoughts once again, gripping onto logic even though the pollen was directly challenging it. one by one, another decent thought slips out of his hold and is instantly replaced with one that was much more improper. the kind of thoughts he’s tried his best to repress, especially when it comes to you.

“i know.” he says, tim’s word of caution fleeting from his mind. pressing himself off against the wall, he bounds over to you, finding himself directly in front of you, his palm pressed against the wall by your head. you gasp and it takes every last bit of him to not devour your sweet sounds. “fuck, we have to get back to the cave.”

your eyes flutter shut as his words breathe across your face, the raspy tone from his voice luring you in. 

“please.” you say again, the words barely above a whisper.

the rubber band snaps and the tension breaks, your bodies surging towards each other, clicking into place as your lips finally collide. the pollen saturating every nerve in your body, an overwhelming tsunami threatening to consume you and take him down with you.

but he wasn’t faring any better. his hands were shaking with need, his movements clumsy, not because they weren’t practiced, but because he had never needed anything more in his life.

he kisses you with a bruising force he usually reserves for when he fights, unable to hold himself back as the pollen dances throughout his veins chanting more, more, more.

visions invade his mind, betraying all the walls he’s so carefully put in place over the years. the amount of times he’s dreamed of having you, the amount of times he’s fisted his cock to the thought of you, was all coming to a burning point. if he didn’t have you now, it felt like his body would disintegrate. 

a groan rips from his throat, rumbling against your lips as he tries to devour you. his hands roam all over your body, almost kneading against every part of you to get a proper feel. but it wasn’t enough.

“have to feel you, please- need you closer.” he manages to choke out, his plump lips swollen with your passion, his dark blue eyes blown all the way out into a dark, stormy abyss. with a small nod of your head, he’s pushing you against the wall, slipping his thigh between your legs. he grinds against your hips, seeking out any sort of relief while also trying to provide you some.

the kiss is hardly graceful — teeth clashing against each other, trying to consume the other. there’s no fight for dominance, no careful hesitance, just pure unabridged desperation. he feels you reach for your mask, already trying to take off anything that serves as a barrier between you and him.

“f-fuck, wait, keep your mask on. we can’t-“ he didn’t finish the sentence as you rolled your hips against him instead, body jerking in his hold. somehow the gravity of the situation rings in his head for a moment. “shit, wait, we should talk about this, right?”

“we’re just helping each other out,” you gasp, kissing along his jaw. your fingers dig into his biceps, voice straining as you try to keep yourself together for a moment. “it hurts so much, i can’t stand it. help me and i’ll help you.”

“can’t say no to that logic.” he picks you up, pressing you against the wall as he presses his aching cock to your core. the relief it brought had his eyes rolling to the back of his head, gripping onto you tighter as his body reacts in a way it’s never done before.

he grinds against your clothed cunt, the fabric of your suits making it easier to hurriedly slide against each other. he wishes he could feel how tightly you’d wrap around him instead of this but he needed release now, and this was the quickest way to get it.

and you’re just as bad as him, bucking your hips against him to gain any sort of friction, your hands pawing all over his body.

“please-“ you whine in his ear, “stop teasing me, let me feel you.” your body felt on fire, something crackling just beneath the surface. the friction you were getting wasn’t enough, giving you pleasure but you also craved more.

“c-can’t.” he gasps, moving his hips faster as he feels a high coming on. “m’close.”

it was all building up deep within him, pleasure fighting pain and hurtling him towards the unknown. but he knew it would help, god, he knew anything with you would save him somehow.

his aching cock was still pressed up against the tight suit he had on, throbbing and pulsing as if it was trying to make its great escape. but the sound of your moan brought him back to the moment, the sweet mewl tumbling out of your lips as you reach your high. it sends him over the edge, cumming in his suit, hips stuttering against yours.

after a moment to catch your breath, you look at each other. the pain and fire are still as strong as ever, in fact, it might even be worse now. he needs to be inside you, feeling your warm walls hold onto him as he releases load after load deep within you.

“we need to-.” he pauses, breath hitching as you start rubbing against him again. the words die in his throat, no longer thinking of the batcave and the antidote. 

“i need more, please we can’t stop here.” you whine, looking up at him. whatever you were doing felt so good, feeding into the unstoppable desire that ignited in him. 

“we need to find somewhere to go.” he decides, holding onto you tightly.

“there’s a safehouse close by.” you suggest and suddenly it was like a veil was lifted. the fog cleared, and all he could see was you. your unfocused eyes, the way you pawed at him, he knew exactly what to do.

“i know the one, let’s go.” he grabs your hand, practically running down the street with you dragging behind him. but you manage to keep up with him. he’s relieved that no one is really out here, even though the night life was never tame in gotham, he considered it a small blessing that the streets were somewhat quiet tonight.

the safehouse was nestled in between a slew of apartments. he easily grabbed the key from under the mat and shoved the door open, the hinges yelling in protest. he all but pushes you inside, slamming the door shut and sealing you both in.

your body hits the door as soon as he closes it, his brute strength easily manhandling you into any position he wants. you were more than ready for it, wrapping your legs around his waist as your heels dig into his perfect ass, pulling him closer.

he groans as you roll your hips against his, trying to get closer to his straining cock. depravity takes over as you're practically humping against each other, shimming out of your suits. some part of you had to still be touching him —  your lips, your hands, anything.

finally, you’re both freed of your restricting clothing, ripping it down just enough so he could gain better access to you, barely caring that he was shredding your hero suit. but it didn’t seem like you minded either as your nails raked against his chest.

“you ready for me?” he fists his aching cock, throbbing and glistening with his cum. the tip was so red, you wondered if he was in any pain — or if it matched the same one you felt in between your thighs. 

“hurry, need you to-” you didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence. 

dick slipped into you with one rough shove, filling you all the way up in one delicious motion. you gasp, throwing your head back into the door at the sudden intrusion, your back arching off of the wooden panel.

“sorry, baby.” his arm slips around your waist, his palm spreading along your back for support. “s’okay, you’re okay, yeah?”

he doesn’t move for a moment to try to let you adjust, his body practically screaming at him for waiting. but he felt so weak for you, couldn’t help but start rocking his hips. it didn’t take long for his urges to take over. 

his hands pushed down onto your waist, steadying himself so he could get deeper. the only thought that crossed his mind was how good you felt, how well you took him — and it only made him more determined to make you fall apart just like you were making him.

why had he waited so long to make a move? he could’ve done this sooner, years ago. it pissed him off, frustrated he’s gone so long without knowing how good your cunt felt wrapped around his cock. the anger only intensifies his thrusts, the door rattling behind you in protest.

“s-slow down!” you cry out, not really thinking of what you were saying. the last thing you wanted was for him to slow down, but everything felt so fast, so overwhelming that your brain couldn’t keep up with it.

“that’s not what you really want.” he grunts out, lips latching onto your neck. he needed to leave little marks on you. a reminder for him that this is really happening, that this is real. he’s finally fucking you. “you’re so tight, you feel so good f’me.”

“all for you, only for you.” you start to babble, drunk off the sensation he‘s feeding you. your legs wrap tighter around his waist, driving him deeper than he already was. his pace stutters for a second, his release already sneaking up on him. “ah- m’already close!”

“me too, baby.” he breathes, his voice raspier than you’ve ever heard it. “please let me cum inside, need to fill you up and breed this pretty pussy.”

you clench around his words, nodding your head profusely, body tightening as electricity shoots through your body as you cum around his cock. your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues to thrust into you, desperately chasing his own release.

“yes, yes, need it, please!” you moan, practically milking his cock. once you give him the okay, he drives as deep as he can and lets out a broken moan as he fills you up.

“shit.” he grunts out, his breathing far out of his control. he lowers you down, letting you land on your feet. but you can hardly stand, his grip tight on your elbows to keep you upright. the two of you just stare at each other for a moment, trying to process what just happened, what’s currently happening. intense need swarms his mind again and pain spreads throughout his body with every passing second he isn’t inside of you.

instinctively, you drop to your knees, your hand lightly grasping around his slick base. dick lets out a hiss of pleasure, tossing his head back as he feels the slight essence of reprieve. 

“need you in my mouth,” you look up at him, slowly pumping his cock. he twitches in your hand with interest, the sex pollen still sending his body into overdrive. he doesn’t even feel overstimulation, all he feels is lust and the overwhelming need to wreck you.

“go ahead, baby.” you wrap your lips around his cock, hollowing out your cheeks as you get right to work. his eyes roll back and he needs to grip onto the back of your head for support — otherwise he’d fall backwards. “damn, knew you’d be good at this, always running your sweet little mouth whenever you’re around me. feels like heaven.”

you hum in approval, the sensation tickling his tip. you take him in deeper, your hands grabbing onto his ass for support.

“fuck, baby.” he mutters under his breath. normally, you probably wouldn’t have heard it, but the pollen heightened all of your senses when it came to him. his voice sounded so raspy, so desperate, it had you squeezing your thighs together. “please don’t tease me right now or i’ll fuck you against the wall again.”

so you don’t, swallowing his whole length, your pretty eyes filling up with tears as you look up at him. he feels like he’s going to pass out — his head is fuzzy, his thighs are trembling, you have him under your spell and a primitive part of him is screaming at him to fix it.

“i’m gonna cum.” he moans, gripping your hair. he almost lets himself, but it wouldn’t feel fair. he needed you to cum with him. the two of you were in this together. he pushes you off of him, regret already swarming his body as the pollen viciously attacks him again.

“what’s wrong?” you ask, wiping the spit that was pooling in the corner of your mouth. he picked you up, bringing you over to the couch.

“i have to taste you.” he tosses you on the couch, “so you’re gonna sit on my face.”

the way he said it doesn’t leave any room for argument so for once, you listen to him. watching as he sits next to you on the couch. your bodies pivot so he’s laying down instead of you, an eager smile on his face. 

you climb on top of him, going to move your hips over his eagerly awaiting mouth. but he’s impatient, the need to taste you on his tongue is too great. hastily grabbing your hips, he pulls you down on his face. you yelp in surprise, nails digging into his abs to ground yourself. he doesn’t waste a second, diving into the delicious meal you’ve presented him.

even without you touching him, he started to feel his own relief by swirling his tongue around your clit. his hips thrust in the air, unable to control himself. your moans and small gasps of pleasure fuel him to keep going, not planning on stopping until he’s gotten his fill.

he groans into your cunt as you start to take his leaking cock in your warm hands, focusing on his tip. you lean over his body as he holds you firmly in place so you can pull him back in your mouth, engulfing him in an instant.

his hips involuntary jerks up, pushing himself deeper and eliciting a gag from you. he would feel bad but with the way you gushed around his tongue told him otherwise.

“god, you taste incredible.” he mumbles, making sure he’s not missing a drop. but honestly, it’s too much. your slick mixed with his cum has his mind spiraling — the taste settling on his tongue, nestling deep into his senses.

it was all a haze, trying to devour every drop of you, gripping onto your thighs so tightly that if he was thinking more clearly, he might feel bad. but the way your tongue wraps around his cock, your throat enveloping it all the way down, leaves him with very little coherent thoughts.

but he couldn’t stop lapping at your cunt, every tremble, every moan, every taste of you has him wanting more and he knew that this wouldn’t be enough — it might never be enough. you’ve created an insatiable beast that only craves your touch.

“dick, i’m gonna cum-.” you take a gulp of air, using your hand to furiously pump his cock, fingers dancing around his tip as you usher out your words. a flare of pride spikes up with him and shoots throughout his body, his hand getting away from him as he encouragingly slaps against your thigh.

“please, baby. come all over my face.” he knows he sounds wrecked but he doesn’t care. he gets back to work, suckling on your clit more intently than before. your mewls vibrate along his length and he can’t help but thrust into your mouth a little, overly excited at the prospect of you releasing all over him. 

he helps you ride his face, guiding your movements by his grip on your thighs. with a cry of his name, you cum again, gushing all over him. at this point, he could die a happy man, cleaning you up as your thighs shake in his palms.

he’s not sure if it was your skilled mouth, your messy cunt, or the fact he managed to pull that strong of an orgasm from you — but he came in your hand that was still rubbing at his tip.

“f-fuuuuuck.” he moans out, hips jerking in your hold. after a few minutes, he feels you slide off of his face, pivoting yourself and sitting on the couch, head hanging off the back of it.

it had to be over, right? all of the pollen should be out of your systems. he sat up and mirrored your movements, looking over at you to see how you were faring. and you were already looking over at him, half lidded eyes as you were catching your breath. your skin was glistening in sweat, much like his own.

the itch creeped up his neck, sending chills over his body. it definitely wasn’t done and the agony of not touching you anymore was starting to get to his head. he lunges over to you, pinning you on the couch as he lines up his cock once again.

“god, i need to have you.” he breathes, searching your eyes to see if you feel as messed up as he does.

“you’ve got me.” you mewl before looking up and adding, “you’ve always had me.”

“really?” disbelief coats his words, somehow managing to pause his motions even though his body is screaming at him. the fire inside of him is licking at the tightly wound coil within him, but somehow he’s able to push it down — even if it’s just for a moment. but he needs to hear this, needs to hear you.

“i’ve-” you start squirming under him, no doubt feeling that same fire he did. he almost felt a little bad by delaying your gratification but god, he really needs this. he can’t tell if the tears forming in your eyes are from the pollen or from the emotion that’s been building up after all these years.  “i’ve always loved you dick.”

his hormones fly out of control, his hold tightening against you. every nerve in his body tells him to move but he’s somehow frozen, transfixed on your confession. 

“i love you so much.” he manages to choke out, desire boiling in his gut once again, fueled by the sweet words he’s been dying to hear from you. it was too much, the overwhelming itch consuming him once again as “fuck, ‘m sorry, need to-.”

he doesn’t finish the sentence, instead he’s plunging into your warm, welcoming walls. fitting together like a puzzle piece that was always destined to connect. the pollen swirls with the love shared between you two and he can’t help but ruthlessly drive into you, relishing in your sharp cries of pleasure.  

his cock slips out of you, exasperated groans both leaving your lips and into each others mouth. he reluctantly pulls apart from you, shoving himself back where he belongs before he resumes his pace.

“dick, more-.”

something shatters within him. he couldn’t say it was self control — that had long been gone. but something else deep within him broke by your hands and yet, he could already feel you mending it back up.

there’s no way to tell the passage of time, but none of that mattered to him anyway. all he could do was revel in the warmth of your soft, silken walls. his eyes scan over your face, taking in your blissed out state no doubt mirroring his own.

it had him wanting — craving more. like a man starved who had his first bite, who wouldn’t be sated until he had his fill.

dick’s movements were even faster now that his body could hardly keep up. his cock slipped out of you again, and he let out a strangled sob.

everything was just so wet, both of your bodies coated in a mixture of sweat, spit and cum. he felt your slick coat his thighs, your saliva mark his neck — every inch of his skin is completely covered by your essence.

he drives himself back into you, humping against you as he chases another release. everything was burning up the longer he staved off. at this point, he needed to keep filling you up. you made it so easy for him too, greedily sucking him back in every thrust, squeezing around him so tightly his head was spinning.

driven by pure instinct, he pushes your thighs against your chest, pushing himself deeper into you. 

“wanna take my time with you s’badly.” he rasps out, hands pushing against your legs. “but you just feel s’good i can’t stop.”

his mouth hung open as unsteady breaths left his lungs, trying to gulp up any air he could. but he’d much rather breathe in the sight below him, watching you sprawled out for him, sucking him into your pretty cunt has his mind short circuiting.

“you take me so well, you’re so good to me.” he babbles, eyes squeezed shut for a moment to soak it all in. “you were made f’me.”

his head falls forward and he feels a bead of sweat drop down the side of his face. your trained eye watched it fall, before you lean up and lick it clean off of him. he gasps in surprise, lips chasing yours once again.  

at this point, you really couldn’t call it kissing. your lips were pressed against each other but neither of you could move them properly. just unsteady breaths and moans keeping the two of you connected as pleasure overrides your senses.

arousal pours like gasoline beneath his abdomen, your pleas serving as a match to ignite his body into flames. the pollen warps his mind, drunk on your taste and only craving more of it. 

but he needed you to cum first. he was still trying his best to help you, to relieve you of any pain. he doesn’t know how long it’ll take but he needs you to at least cum as much as he does. 

“oh god, oh, it’s never, fuck, felt like this before, so good-“ you moan out, arching your back up so he can get deeper. 

“i know baby, i know.” he keeps going, harder than he had before. “you’re so, so good to me.”

it was all too much for you, clinging onto him as he relentlessly thrusts into you. he watches as your body freezes in his grasp, bliss saturating all your features, before you forcefully come around his cock.

he wasn’t much further behind, gripping the back of the couch and pushing his hips flush against yours as he fills you up once again. 

the pollen was still tingling in his system, he could feel it. but he felt so drowsy, and he knew you were too. he presses his forehead against yours as your legs fall helplessly by his sides.

“you okay?” he can hardly recognize his own voice.

“mhm, you?” you ask, your eyes fluttering shut for a second. he sees your face constrict with pain and he knows you feel what he feels. it’s not over yet.

“can you handle another round?” he asks, gently caressing your cheek, wiping off what was either sweat or tears. it took so much not to jump you, but the desire was starting to lessen and becoming easier to control, but that didn’t change the fact he was still so damn weak around you. one more round would soothe it all, he can feel it.

“can you?” you laugh breathlessly, always trying to challenge him. a lazy smirk takes up his face as he adjusts you, sitting back against the couch and pulling you up into his lap. his fingers rub little circles along your hips before he digs his fingers in.

“since you’re so confident, why don’t you show me how it’s done.” he meant to sound cocky, but his voice came out twisted with need and desperation.

“with pleasure.” you grab a hold of his still hard cock, lining it up with your sopping entrance, cum from the previous rounds dripping down your thigh. he can’t help but swipe some on his finger, playing with the slightly sticky substance.

you slide down on his cock, moaning the entire way down. all he can do is look up at you, unconsciously sliding the two coated fingers in your open mouth.

you swirl your tongue around them, sucking them clean as well as you were sucking him off earlier. he moans, head hitting the back of the couch as you start rolling your hips.

“you’re so pretty — fuck — i mean, just look at you.” he slurs, eyes glued to where you were connected. his fingers leave your mouth, sliding down your body. “you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen.”

your nails dig into his shoulders, using it as leverage to grind yourself more in his lap, his neatly trimmed pubic hair brushing along your swollen clit.

he slumps back a bit, letting you take control and take what you need. mesmerized by the way your tits jiggle with each movement, he wraps his tongue around your nipple before giving it a sloppy, open mouthed kiss.

he was lazy with his movements, swirling his tongue around the perked bud and nuzzling his face against it. the more he touches them, the more he needs to. 

your hips drag along his, bodies pressed together as it feels like lead fills your bones. but you can’t stop moving against him.

“want you to be mine.” he moans against your tits, thrusting up into you more as he feels himself getting close. all he needs to hear is your confirmation that you’ll finally be his. “say you’ll be mine.” 

“m’yours!” your cry out at the increase of pace, fingers digging into his hair as he leaves his mark all over your breasts. “i’m all yours.”

with one final groan, his hips jerk up a few times, releasing another load into your already overflowing cunt. the grip on your hips loosen as his forehead lands on your shoulder, wincing as you keep going to chase your release. overstimulation was starting to creep up on him as the pollen started to clear out of his system. but he didn’t care, he’d keep going as long as you need him to.

“c’mon baby.” he slurs, leaving open mouthed kisses along your collarbone before looking up at you like you summon the sun every morning, beaconing it with your radiant, blissed out smile. “you’re doing s’good for me, give me another one c’mon.”

“cant, i’m trying but i need more.” you move your hips a little faster with a whine of his name tumbling from your lips.

“i’m right here, fuck baby, let go f’me. you’ll feel so much better i promise.” his fingers slip in between your bodies, thumb pressing firmly against your clit as you keep riding him. it sends you over the edge, gripping onto his shoulders and tossing your head back. he’s never seen a more ethereal view and if he could’ve, he would’ve cum all over again at the sight alone.

he doesn’t move his thumb as you ride out your high, squirming around in his lap as pleasure courses throughout your body. he lets go after you start twitching in his grasp, showing you mercy for the first time tonight.

you collapse into a heap on his chest, your heart racing as you try to catch your breath. he feels you curl into him, exhaustion starting to take you. he’s still nestled inside of you, with no desire to move. 

he blinks a few times, starting to take in his surroundings. you guys definitely messed up the couch. anyone who passes through this safehouse will see the traces you two left behind for weeks to come. the thought makes him smirk a little bit.

his phone buzzes and somewhere deep in his fucked out mind he realizes he should check. he’s still technically on patrol. with one arm still securing tucked around you, he uses the other to grab his phone.

everything is a little blurry, the fog still clouding his mind, his eyes drooping as he tries to read it. your soft snores start to fill his ears as he opens the text from tim, reading the line over and over a few times in hopes of processing it better. but then he gets it — clear as day. it was from tim.

“let me guess. you stopped at a safehouse.”

another text.

“have fun explaining this one to bruce.”

taglist : @the-tenth-shadow @petriquors @boogiebooboo @lucifersidepiece @oikawabi-sabi @collin-thegreat ᰔ

[rinniessance]

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE ༊*·˚ - leon kennedy x fem!reader x satoru gojo

leon kennedy has been announced mia after 24 hours of no contact. high brass doesn't care that you only came back from a mission a day prior, injured no less. when you're dispatched to spain, the last thing you expect is to get a special kind of rescue mission.

this is my entry for @rinhaler's gaming collab - MASTERLIST 🎮

꒰ warnings: nsfw - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ resident evil au. kind of following the plot of resident evil 4. aphrodysiac sex, unprotected sex, pet names (it's my staple <3), oral sex (f receiving), slight dacraphyllia, squirting, two dicks in one hole, cream pie. forgive me if i forgot any tags ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.8k ꒱ ꒰ notes: we love pure self-indulgence in this house .ᐟ.ᐟ tagging @mymegumi and @lilacliliess because they support my delusions about fucking two blue eyed men:3 ꒱

it’s been uneasy 24 hours in the D.O.S headquarters – ever since leon kennedy stopped responding to any attempts at communication, he’s been announced MIA this morning. given the sensitive mission of retrieving president’s daughter, the urgency to dispatch someone for another rescue is being pushed by the high brass, sending everyone on a search to find an agent capable enough of handling the job. as it turns out, out of dozens of people working in this forsaken organization, you’re the only one qualified.

“are you shitting me, hunnigan? i just came back from the mission last night. did you not see the stabbing wound?” for dramatic effect, you raise your t-shirt, showing freshly bandaged area where the deep cut resides. coming into the work this morning, the most stressful part of your day was expected to be the tons of paperwork you would’ve had to go through – yet as soon as you stepped into your office, you were greeted by leon’s handler, bearing the news from your superiors.

“sorry, you know it’s not up to me. whatever the president says goes.”

“are there literally no one else in this entire building who can be ordered to go instead?”

slumping over your desk, you put your head on top of your folded arms – it takes everything in you not to scream. your own mission was already problematic enough: bioweapon developers have become exceptional in making new B.O.Ws deadlier and deadlier, and knowing leon’s resume, there is a very high chance he was sent to deal with the worst of it.

“you’re one of the few partners kennedy has had while working for D.O.S. you know how he operates; it makes sense they are sending you.”

you know there is no point in arguing – if it’s been decided by the president, you have no choice but to go. it doesn’t mean, however, you can’t be irritated by the whole situation.

“do i at least get paid overtime?” you sign with exasperation, sulking deeper into your chair, hearing hunnigan let out a breathy chuckle.

“maybe if you bring golden boy’s ass back in one piece.”

“great. can i at least go home and make sure i didn’t leave the kettle on or something.”

“you’re not getting out of it, agent,” she says with a smile, and you can only groan. leon will be paying for all your meals for the next 6 months. “the helicopter is already waiting, actually, so you better gear your ass up and head to the helipad.”

“more amazing news.”

hunnigan only pats you on the shoulder – nothing she can say will make this situation suck any less – and leaves the room, letting you wallow in your misery.

“can you just fucking die already?” you yell in pure annoyance, trying to shoot the same person for the third time (you aren’t sure you can call these things human anymore). when the creature finally goes down, hopefully once and for all this time, the view in front of you is grotesque: hideous tentacle sprang out of the poor man’s head when you shot him between the eyes; it keeps moving, taunting you to waste more of your ammo. still holding onto your gun, you cautiously approach the body, slightly poking it with your boot – it doesn’t stir anymore. a sigh of relief escapes your lungs.

“just what the fuck is going on here,” you quietly mumble to yourself, looting any useful items nearby.

you arrived in spain this morning. surprisingly, leon made it easy enough to retrace his steps – he stopped by the local law enforcement which in turned let you know two of their men also went missing after they escorted kennedy to the area of interest. no one volunteered to come with you once you acquired the location of the small village somewhere north of here – apparently people have been going missing in the mountains for a while now – which was fine by you. everything you needed was the car you could use, and you were on your merry way.

in your 5 year long career as a government agent, the kind working in anti-bioweapon divisions, you’ve seen a multitude of… monsters, for lack of a better word. nothing could’ve prepared you for what you’ve witnessed when you arrived at your destination though: villagers turned into something sinister, creatures with no will of their own. you noticed it right away: their bulging veins pulsing with black viscous liquid, eyes shadowed with madness. what a surprise it was that when you finally started shooting them (hey, they started it), mandible-like limbs, shape closer to tentacles, with eyes growing out of them, erupted from their dead bodies, as if a swarm of crazy cultists wasn’t already enough.

you quickly glance at the still convulsing body on the ground, parasitic tendrils clinging onto their last living seconds; just looking at it makes you want to vomit. the smell of puss, heavy in the air, doesn’t help your desire to empty the insides of your stomach. you do not know what causes them to mutate, and you make a note to avoid any unknown substances – you also log a mental check not to get bitten by one of them (just in case).

after escaping a village, getting access to this stupid castle trying to find stupid stupid leon kennedy (you’re sure that what s. in leon s. kennedy stands for), you overheard some of the cultists talking about two prisoners on the basement level. leon and ashley? the goal now is to figure out how to get to the basement (and why does it always have to be the basement).

with careful precision, you finish analyzing the room you found yourself in – it’s a storage space of some kind, and nothing about it is particularly helpful to you. letting out a deep sigh, you sit down to re-collect your thoughts. wandering around this castle with no purpose will only stall you further – and time is something you do not have luxury of wasting.

just as you were about to get up from the chair, you knee bumps into something underneath the table. bingo. you quickly try to search for a keyhole or a puzzle piece to fit in to open the hidden compartment. but the gods are smiling down on you today – it only takes a simple click of a lock for the secret drawer to unlatch. before opening it, you stand to the side (the gunshot wound would mean deaths of all parties you’re trying to get out of here), and slowly push it forward with the knife.

“no way.”

the gods are smiling down on you– inside the drawer you don’t find a loaded shotgun, a poisonous smoke or anything else aimed at taking you out. instead, you find yourself looking at the map. something akin to relief makes your hands tremble as you unfold the treasured piece of paper, looking at the building blueprints, as fresh as if this was drawn yesterday.

tracing the way down to the basement level, you try to decide the easiest and shortest way. some of the rooms might require a key, deducting it’d be smarter to stick to the main rooms which are less likely to be locked. shoving the map back into your side bag, you reload the gun and slowly leave the room, looking for any signs of being followed. making sure the coast is clear, you start your way down.

leon, you better be still fucking alive.

leon wakes up from another torturous nap. he doesn’t know how long it’s been: could be 2 days, could be a week. to keep his sanity, he keeps trying to count the meals they bring them, figuring out the passage of time. why is salazar even feeding them? they’d worth more to him dead.

“good morning, sunshine.”

leon groans as soon as he hears the voice coming from his side. he doesn’t need to turn his head to know that satoru gojo is, despite the circumstances they found themselves in, still smiling.

“god, do you ever stop talking? they should starve you,” leon sighs heavily, and leans against the wall. his arms hurt – they have been cuffed to the ceiling this whole time, and the constant chatting from his unwanted companion makes this situation ten times worse.

“oh, common, don’t you have faith in your government? or you’re not important enough to rescue?”

“i might not be but the girl definitely is.”

it seems to shut satoru up, even if for a moment. his comments did make leon wonder if the headquarters organized the search party yet – more time they spent here means more time for the cult leaders to complete whatever it is they want with ashley. him and satoru have been infected with las plagas parasite too, their time is running short.

sighing deeply, gojo also slumps against the wall. both men can feel… whatever they were infected with moving inside their bodies, crawling their way into their brains. satoru is not sure what makes him and leon so special, but no signs of any infection have been visible yet. he wonders if it is a waiting game now: waiting for the moment they start losing their minds. what a sight that would be.

just as he was going to make another comment about their current predicament, both agents hear gunshots coming from the hallway, just outside the prison cells. blood curling screaming follows, rippling through the air, the unknown person emptying their clip into the guards until the room is engulfed in the oppressive silence.

to leon’s great surprise, and a great relief he must admit, it’s not a crazed guard running through the doors this time around – instead, two locked-up agents are met by your face. you hold your gun out, hand outstretched in front of you, ready to shoot the last remnants of the infected. it’s only when your gaze meets leon’s and you don’t identify any immediate danger, the gun is lowered, and you are rushing towards the cell.

“holy shit, it’s nice to see a familiar face,” leon cannot help but smile at the sight of you standing outside the cell bars, trying to break the lock.

“you won’t believe but the feeling is mutual. one too many mutated cultists, and even i started missing your ugly mug,” you throw back, returning his smile. your eyes move to gojo. “who’s that?”

“his partner.”

“no one.”

two men say that in unison, exchanging a heated glance afterwards.

“okaaaay,” you drawl out, “i don’t really care, you can bicker later. what we need to do it we need to get the fuck outta here like right now.”

you rush to uncuff the men with the keys you stole form the guards you shot earlier, and wait until they are able to push themselves on their feet.

“i am satoru gojo,” mysterious blond introduces himself properly, and extends his arm. you shake his hand and mumble your name back. you don’t know why but he makes you nervous.

“okay, all formalities for later. both of us are infected with that new plaga parasite, we need to extract it immediately,” leon interrupts the intense staring contest you entered with satoru, making you snap your attention back to him.

“well, then you’re in luck. i passed something that looked like a laboratory on the way here. it’s not too far either, only one floor up.”

“okay, great, no time to waste.”

kennedy steps out the room first, you and gojo following close behind. you’re on full alert – it doesn’t matter that you just took half of the castle down, somehow, new infected keep popping out like bunnies out of woodwork. it doesn’t take long the three of you to reach the desired destination, lab laying just behind the door straight off the stairs.

you cautiously look inside – no one seems to be here. after entering the room, you stand on guard while satoru and leon are looking for anything that might look like the cure. it seems that gods are smiling once again on you today because leon is able to find the last two vials of the vaccine sample. you have never seen him grinning so widely – it would’ve been almost heartwarming if not for the grim circumstances all of you ended up in.

before they can inject themselves with the medicine, the door swings opened and you’re thrown into the shelf, located on the opposite side of the entrance. multiple bottles with unknown substances fall on top of you, one of them breaking and infusing the air with a white powder. before you realize what happened, you inhale the mysterious concoction, immediately bursting into a coughing fit.

“fuck, are you okay?” leon yells your name somewhere from the side, and you try to wave him off. gojo is distracting whoever rammed through the doors, shooting the gun you presented him back in the prison cell. it takes exactly three more headshots for the mutated cultist to drop dead, and you’re pushing yourself off the ground and back on your feet. satoru is eyeing you suspiciously – you’re too busy brushing off your clothes and getting your breathing in order to notice.

“common, jab yourselves with the vaccine and let’s go, we have no time to lose,” you say with coarse voice. leon is also looking at you with worry but decides not to mention anything. both men inject themselves with the medicine, hoping and praying it’ll work, before rushing out of the doors and back on track to find ashley.

running through the corridors of the castle, you can feel yourself getting weaker – there is a sheer layer of sweat covering your spine, goosebumps are dancing on your skin, and a very familiar heat is pooling between your legs. your head feels heavy, you’re barely able to string two coherent thoughts together so you resort to slowly trailing after two men who haven’t stopped arguing about the next course of action.

“i don’t care what you came here for, satoru. i have my rescue mission that still needs to be completed,” leon sighs heavily as he pushes through the heavy doors into the next room.

“sure,” the other blond man quickly agrees, “but don’t you think you government would say ‘thank you’ if you helped securing the source of this outbreak?” gojo questions as he follows leon through the doors. you want to weigh your opinion in but before you can open your mouth, as you cross the threshold of the room, you trip on your own feets and send yourself flying towards the floor. the loud bang makes both men turn their attention back to you.

“god, are you okay?” leon’s by your side in mere seconds, supporting you by the elbow so you can get up. the waves of his body heat wash over you, and you want nothing more but to curl into his body and kiss the spot underneath his jaw. has he always been so handsome? you’re so concentrated looking at leon, you don’t notice satoru standing near you now. he touches your forehead, and it takes all of your willpower not to moan. fuck, his cold hands feel so nice on your feverish skin.

“shit, she’s burning up.”

“you think it’s because of whatever substance she inhaled back in the lab?”

“i don’t know, everything’s possible.”

two agents move you to sit on the table in the corner of the room – they can clearly see how foggy your eyes are, a layer of milky mist dancing across your vision – and leon’s fingers find your pulse point. this time, you are not fast enough to stifle the low whine that escapes your lips. at any other time, you’d be dying of embarrassment but now your body is begging for release, and you’re ready to do anything to get it. anything to soothe the ache building up in your throbbing clit.

“’m so hot…” you mumble as you start taking off tactical t-shirt, baring your sports bra to the two men in the room. “and it really hurts.”

satoru and leon look at each other before they look at you – kennedy will have to work with you in the future so he’s really trying not to look at your perky nipple, shape visible through the fabric, unlike gojo, who’s taking in your current condition with almost sick satisfaction.

“where does it hurt?” satoru asks before leon is able to butt in. as if wanting to confirm his suspicion, you take his hand and guide it to your sex, cupping it.

“here.”

leon is not even able to react before gojo is lunging forward and capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, making your head bang slightly against the wall. you let yourself moan into his mouth, satoru greedily claiming all the sounds to himself. it’s not nearly enough to pacify your accelerated heartbeat, but it’s still making you shudder. you’re spreading your legs to accommodate gojo’s tall frame – but before he is able to move any closer, he is thrown back by leon; loss of his warmth makes you whine.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” kennedy hisses through his teeth, moving away from you and towards gojo.

“what does it look like? don’t pretend like you don’t know this is exactly what she needs right now,” satoru spits back. you think they continue arguing but their voices are being drowned out by the ringing in your ears. heat spreading through you sets everything on fire, and your pants join your t-shirt somewhere on the floor in your desperate attempt to relieve yourself of this scorching feeling. your partner notices it and sharply turns to face you.

“what the hell are you doi-” before leon can finish his sentence, you wrap you legs around him and press your body into his.

“leon, please…” you sob, hot tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, beads of salty water wetting your eyelashes and blurring your vision. hearing your pathetic plea, voice thick with lust and desire, looking at your tears-stained face, mouth slightly agape, and watching your lips, red and messy from satoru’s kiss, glistening in the moonlight – everything about you now screams ruin me and leon is not a strong enough man to resist it.

“what are you asking me to do, sweetheart?” he whispers against your lips in a teasing tone. his switch is almost jarring but you don’t have the brain capacity to mull over his sudden mood change. he moves his hand between your legs now, touching your pussy through your panties. leon’s fleeting touch is sending shivers down your spine, and you culr yourself into him more, whining and panting against his mouth. “jesus, she’s so fucking wet already.”

“i told you, didn’t i? she needs someone to stuff her full of cum,” satoru’s dirty talk comes somewhere from the side. too distracted by leon’s deep blue eyes, gojo’s touch makes you tremble in surprise and turn your head towards him. looking at his face, you’re met by baby blues – it felt like being thrown from the ocean into the endless skies. you think men with blue eyes will be the death of you.

gojo leans down to capture your lips again, re-exploring the sacred geometry of your kiss, while leon is planting wet kisses along your jawline. you mewl in euphoric pleasure, their touches soothing to your burning skin, and you’re completely giving yourself away to the bliss rolling over you in waves. leon’s digits are teasing your clit through the fabric of your panties, and your hips instinctively buck into his hand, making him chuckle into your neck.

“she’s dripping, gojo. i bet she can take both of us unprepped,” leon says to the other agent, still busy with sucking on your lips, invading your mouth with his tongue. at his words, you shiver under men’s bodies, tingling sensation rushing through you.

“i want you in my lap, pretty girl,” satoru whispers against your lips, and you jump off into leon’s arms so the other man can sit on the table first. you move to climb on top of gojo, legs on either side of his thighs, ready to ride him, but your partner’s strong arm stops you from turning around.

“nah-ah, let him hold you spread open for me, i want to taste you first,” leon breathes against your ear, teasing the sensitive spot, making you quiver in his hold. you turn yourself towards gojo and see him grinning as he beckons you with two fingers to come closer. when you end up in his arms, he spins you around, his chest to your back, and makes you sit between his legs on the table, opening you up.

satoru’s masterful fingers unclasp your bra with ease while leon makes a quick work of your panties, shoving them into his pocket, unbeknownst to you. who knows how your relationship will work out after this – he needs something to remember this moment by. you are now sprawled completely naked for the two men’s hungry gazes: your cheeks are flushed, mouth shaped into a perfect “o”, short breaths escaping your lungs – you are truly a sight to behold. gojo wastes no time in cupping your breasts with his hands, trailing his lips on the side of your neck, sucking in hickeys as part of his claim.

kennedy gets on his knees in front of you, looking up into your eyes. gojo’s fingers are playing with your hardened nipple, making your hips buck upwards – right into leon’s mouth. his first languid swipe of the tongue comes just as satoru pinches your sensitive nubs, and you cannot help the pornographic moan escaping your lips.

“jesus, doll, who knew you’d sound so pretty,” it’s gojo’s voice against the shell of your ear, making you shudder. one of his hands keeps massaging your boob, twisting the nipple between his digits, while his other hand goes all the way down and spreads your folds for leon’s easy access. he hums in appreciation, and starts flicking his tongue up and down, drawing tight circles on your clit, sucking on it when he feels your legs tighten around his head.

agent’s movements make you squirm in satoru’s hold, dropping your head against his shoulder as leon continues eating you out. you’re absolutely incoherent now – your fever never dropped so your muscles are aching, toes curling in anticipation of the long awaited release, as you continue moaning through quick breaths.

“finger her.”

leon follows gojo’s command immediately, shoving his middle digit inside, while still lapping at your pussy. your walls clench against him almost instinctively, intrusion sudden but not unwelcome – he groans feeling the embracing heat of your cunt.

“fuck, she’s so fucking tight.”

gojo keeps your legs spread, you trying to close them around leon’s head as he keeps up his assault with his tongue. he’s nibbling on your clit, putting extra pressure with the tip of his tongue, licking it back and forth in quick succession, before flatting it to lick between your sticky folds, all the way down to the drooling hole. leon adds a second finger now, setting up a merciless pace – he is curling his digits in a heavenly way, able to hit the soft, spongy spot inside that makes you see stars and your pussy throb; you gasp loudly.

“i wish we had a phone to record this. you look so divine.”

you clench at gojo’s words, making leon groan. he’s now playing with your tits, rolling your nipple, tugging at them to add the painful sensation to the lit-up nerves. your desperate moans are bouncing among the walls, and gojo decides he wants to hear the squelching sounds of your pussy around leon’s fingers and his tongue’s wet sounds as he sloppily eats you out so he shuts you up with a kiss.

you feel your tummy begins tensing up as two men continue their ministrations: it’s satoru’s hot mouth on yours and his hands squeezing your tits, fingers playing with erect nipples; it’s leon’s tongue lapping at your pussy, precise circles on your clit and his digits scissoring you at a perfect speed, hitting the nerve bundle that rushes to send you over the end. your legs start shaking and you grab onto satoru’s arm around you to ground yourself.

“nnggh-…” you whimper into gojo’s mouth, and he finally lets you catch a breath. “’m so close,” you sob again, “’m gonna cum.”

“yeah, you want to cream all over agent kennedy’s face?” satoru taunts you from behind. “that’s so unprofessional,” he makes a tsk sound with his mouth and squeezes your cheeks to look at him.

“we’re feeling generous today, i think,” he quickly throws a glance down at leon, who only smirks as his tongue keeps licking and sucking at your clit. satoru looks you straight in the eyes as he slowly drawls his next words, “you may cum.”

the orgasm washed over you in glorious waves, rattling your entire existence. you’re scrunching your eyebrows, mouth agape with a sinful moan, as your thighs clasp around leon’s head. you’re quivering in gojo’s hold, his hands forcing your hips down, pressing them more against kennedy’s face. the latter doesn’t stop his onslaught, lips suctioning around the throbbing pearl, fingers still curled at earth-shattering angle. you try to move away but neither man lets you.

“uh-uh, where are you trying to run away? let him drink everything.”

and everything does leon kennedy drink – agent is lapping at your juices like a kitten at a fresh bowl of milk, now substituting his digits with his tongue as he keeps fucking in and out of your needy cunt. ministrations don’t stop, not even when your moans turn into little sobs as your body starts feeling overstimulated. your puffy clit is now ruined from satoru’s finger pads playing with it.

both men can feel your form shaking almost violently, gojo’s gathering your falling tears with his tongue. leon’s finally pulling his face away from your sex, standing up to look at your ruined state.

“god, i only ate her out and she already looks fucked out,” he chuckles to the other blond man, and moves to stand between your legs.

“let me taste her,” before you can react, gojo’s grabbing leon by the back of his head and capturing his lips in a heated kiss. trapped between a rock and a hard place, you can do nothing but observe the most passionate display of carnage you’ve ever witnessed – they were slobbering over each other’s faces, and it made your pussy clench around nothing. god, you can’t wait to fuck them both.

“she’s sweet, just how i like them,” satoru smirks against leon’s lips, turning his attention back to you immediately. “common, princess, you’re going to have to ride me if you want both of us.”

you’re quickly climbing on the table, straddling him. kennedy situates himself right behind you, warmth radiating off him like in suffocating waves. you’re trying to unbuckle satoru’s jeans to free his heavy cock, still trapped in confines of his boxer briefs, but leon smacks your ass, sending you forward into gojo’s embrace. it stings, the outline of his hand already forming a bruise, and you’d be mad if you pussy lips didn’t flutter at the slap.

“you’re taking too long, sweetheart,” you hear satoru, both men undoing their belts and zippers before you can, pulling out their leaking cocks. from your position you could only see satoru’s hard dick as he stroked himself near your aching hole, but what you’ve seen was enough to make you almost scared – gojo’s dick was long and blessed with a perfect curve, just upwards, one thick vein running prominently from the bottom of his shaft ending just before his mushroom head. you’re sure leon’s looked just as pretty.

“you haven’t said a word. you wanna ask nicely for what you want?” you hear leon behind you as he’s pushing you forward again, right into satoru’s chest, and teasing your waiting cunt with his thick tip – the mixture of his spit, your slick and his precum is dripping down satoru’s cock from where he’s positioned just underneath you, and the messiness of it all makes leon groan.

“please, i want your cocks inside me… please,” you sob out again, vocal cords heavy with tears.

“i think this will be our reward for saving us, how about that, huh?” there is a teasing tilt in satoru’s voice, and you grab at his shoulders, mewling like a needy animal in heat.

“yes, yes, anything,” you’re blabbering with teary voice, making men hard at the mere image of you: a capable agent reduced to a cock-drunk slut, an image that makes their cocks twitch.

leon grabs gojo’s member, giving it a couple strokes, surprising the white-haired man but hearing no complaints. his thumb is playing with the drooling slit of his tip, beads of pre-cum decorating the entrance to his flushed dick, and kennedy can’t help but smirk at how blissed out satoru looks. he’s guiding his heavy and red cock inside you, while his other hand rests on your waist. gojo’s forcing your hips down while bucking his up, and he fills you up in one long thrust.

“ah!” you cry out, biting your lip to the blood, metallic taste in your mouth almost overwhelming on top of the mix of pain and pleasure burning through your body. you’re whimpering into satoru’s mouth, while his hand is running soothing circles on your back.

“here you go, such a good fucking girl. taking me in so well, huh? all it took is one thrust, so perfect,” he’s blabbering against your skin as he starts sinking in and out of your sloppy hole. looking down, you can see the bulge in your tummy, and it makes you purr – you not only feel him splitting you in two, you are able to witness it. his reddened tip is meeting your cervix in a bruising kiss, and god, he’s making you fell so good.

you’re so lost in the rapturous sensation of gojo’s huge cock pushing against your gummy walls, you don’t notice leon’s presence behind you – he is grabbing your hips with one hand while his other is jerking his dick, prepping himself to enter you. his tip is near your whole when you finally realize what’s he’s trying to do.

“no! no, it’s too mu- ah!” he doesn’t let you finish before he start pushing himself inside, sliding alongside satoru’s heavy member, making the man grunt.

“fuck, feels so tight and warm,” you hear behind you as kennedy sets a punishing pace, sheathing himself into your abused hole. they are stretching you out to heavens, leon looking at your gaping cunt with pride. it’s fluttering and clenching around their huge cocks, your walls spasming in pleasure as their lengths are grinding against your soft spots. you can hear your pussy queefing, and the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin add to the dirty symphony.

“ngg, ngg- feels so, so goo-” you’re unable to finish your sentence as they keep bouncing you on their cocks, manhandling your body however they seem fit. you’ve never felt so full – both men keep drilling into you, like you’re no more than their little personal toy to play with. satoru grabs you by the back of your neck, biting at your lips, sloppily making out with you, while leon grabs your hair, forcing you back on his dick.

you can feel both cocks twitching inside you, approaching climax evident by their shallow breathing, moans hitching at every thrust of the hips. your walls are tightening around their cocks, and men’s whimpering and groaning is sinful to listen to, yet they are determined to make you climax first.

“common, gorgeous, cum around our cocks,” gojo hoaxes from underneath you. leon pushes your hips even closer into satoru’s body, your clit now grinding against his pubic bone, and it’s making you teeter on the edge of your bliss.

your bladder feels pressure you’ve never experienced before as gojo’s cock pressing against it from a perfect angle. leon is digging his fingers into the plush skin of your ass, rutting in and out of you, pushing against your back walls. all of your nerves are on fire, exploding fireworks in your brain, sending all your pleasure receptors into the overdrive. as your second orgasm washes over you, you’re left trembling in the men’s arms, leon’s chest against your back, your sweaty tits against satoru’s broad front.

“that’s a good girl, look at how cock-drunk you are,” you can hear them chuckle between themselves, not slowing down for a second. leon can see the white creamy ring enveloping the base of his cock in a soft embrace – it’s making him lose last of his slipping composure as he starts thrusting extra hard, thus speeding gojo up.

you bounce like a rag doll on top of gojo, having no semblance of control, being completely used by two agents. the pressure in your bladder comes back, and you throw your head back – your body continues quivering uncontrollably as you start sobbing again, tears drawing salty rivers on your cheeks, result of your body riding into stimulation. before you know it, something warm and so fucking wet starts gushing out of you. you want to look down, but men react first by groaning, voice impossibly thick with lust and awe.

“fuck, baby, didn’t expect you to squirt this much. so fucking filthy, i bet you waited to do this the whole time,” gojo grunts from underneath you, and you can only purr in response. it only takes couple more thrusts before leon and satoru synchronize their orgasms, shooting the ribbons of cum inside your womb, painting it pearly white, fucking it in warm and cozy. the squelching sounds ricocheting among the walls are nothing but sinful, and your cheeks flush red from the realization of what just transpired.

as both men pull out of your abused, stretched out hole, the combined mixture of all the fluids trickle down your thighs, making you groan in disgust. now that aphrodisiac has been fucked out from your system, you can’t even bring yourself to look them in the eyes. you hurry to pick up your clothes, but your legs give out underneath you – you’d end up flat on your ass, if not for leon who caught you mid fall.

tension in the air is palpable, electricity dancing on your skin is able to set everything on fire again. you’re ready to break the silence when satoru speaks first.

“you know, kennedy, next time you want to touch my cock, you don’t need to bring a woman between us.”

he leaves the room before either of you are able to force a reaction, and you wish you’d left both of them for dead instead.

© rinniessance do not steal, plagiarize or translate my works. do not recommend me on tiktok, thank you

[gay-dorito-dust]

My girl Toph Beifong will forever be the greatest tomboy/absolute badass character in my heart. Nothing can touch her in my eyes becuase she’s that fucking cool.

Thank fuck I don’t watch the live action becuase they’re ruining EVERYTHING. I didn’t want them to touch toph but seeing as how apparently she’s going to be ‘older and feminine’ you’ve killed toph at that point, kill the entire show because it doesn’t understand nor will ever hold up the original cartoon. I feel bad for the rest of you who have to watch watered down versions of the characters we love. Hope you get compensated for seeing pure shit unfold on your screen.

I have heard a lot of gripes with the live action with their choices and understandably so. They shouldn’t have even bothered doing a live action if they’re just going to ruin everything that was detrimental and important to be shown in the original cartoon.

They’re dumbing it down becuase they’re scared of how people would perceive it if they did keep everything from the show in since a lot of people are stupidly sensitive these days and will complain. (I’m a sensitive person myself but not to the point where I don’t recognise that soka’s sexism is an integral part of his character development 💀 anyone can clearly see that amongst many other things.)

The lesson here; Don’t bother attempting to do live action avatar the last airbender, becuase it won’t work if the changes and alterations made to it remove things that are to be detrimental to a character’s growth. Don’t bother.

[briechyne]

I Did Nothing All Day

Well, except for binge-watching a ton of K-dramas that I’ve been putting off for weeks.

The luxury of doing absolutely nothing feels like a reward after spending an entire week running around, being everywhere and anywhere.

I made a promise to myself that at least once a week, I would stay at home and avoid going out—simply because I hate it. Or rather, I love the comfort of my home. Of course, it does get boring sometimes, which is why, during the week, I squeeze in moments to go café-hopping to study, meticulously plan my hours, take a walk along the boulevard, or visit the park after class. I need that time to decompress and let my mind breathe.

Speaking of the park, I love sitting there with my iPad. I don’t carry physical books—mainly because of their weight. Let’s be honest, they’re heavy, and my bag is already burdened with enough stuff. So, my iPad it is. But sometimes, I do miss the feel of flipping through actual pages. The crisp sound of turning a page, the scent of a new book, the satisfaction of seeing how far you’ve read—it’s something digital reading can’t fully replicate. Maybe one day, I’ll go back to carrying at least one paperback with me, but for now, my iPad is my best companion.

Today was unexpectedly great.

The sun was out, the weather was perfect. I woke up at 8 AM, binged all the K-dramas I’ve been meaning to watch, and finally tackled all the content work I’ve been delaying for months because, well, being a student is exhausting. Some tasks just need to be prioritized.

The funny thing is, even though I spent my entire day just lounging around, I still felt productive in a way. Watching K-dramas isn’t just about entertainment for me—it’s also about storytelling, character development, and emotions. There’s something so engaging about diving into different worlds, experiencing different perspectives, and living through the highs and lows of fictional characters. And the best part? No stress, no deadlines, no expectations. Just pure escapism.

In other words, Delulu.

I’m joking.

I’m not exactly proud of spending the whole day lying down, but given that I wake up early, go to university, juggle endless projects, and constantly feel drained, I think I deserved it.

Honestly, I’m not ready to go back to uni on Monday. Mentally, I need a break.

You know that feeling when you haven’t done any physically demanding work, yet you’re exhausted? Like all you did was sit through classes, stare at notes, and somehow, you’re still completely drained?

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Next week already feels overwhelming, and I don’t even want to think about it.

I just…

Ha…

I need a vacation with a view of the mountains right now.

Or maybe a cozy cabin in the woods, where I can wrap myself in a warm blanket, sip on hot cocoa, and just exist in peace. No responsibilities, no noise, no obligations. Just me, nature, and the quiet hum of a world that isn’t rushing me to keep up. That sounds like a dream right now.

Anyway, I hope you had a productive week. And if you’re a student like me, I see you. We’re all tired. We all feel like giving up sometimes. But whatever your dreams may be, a degree is still important. I don’t care what billionaires say about degrees being useless—sure, you might find a career path unrelated to your studies, but having that degree gives you something to fall back on.

It’s not necessarily an “advantage,” but it’s a safety net. And in this world, sometimes, that’s enough.

Even though I complain a lot about school, I do recognize that education is a privilege. Not everyone gets the opportunity to learn, to pursue a career, or to have choices about their future. It’s easy to forget that when you’re drowning in assignments, but I try to remind myself that this temporary exhaustion is leading somewhere. Somewhere that, hopefully, will be worth it in the end.

So if you’re struggling too, just know you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and one day, we’ll look back at this phase of our lives and be proud of how far we’ve come.

Get my point?

Have a wonderful day, friends! And if you’re feeling exhausted like me, take a break—you deserve it.

Want More?

Thanks for reading my thoughts on missing out! If you enjoy my ramblings, reflections, and general overthinking, you can find more on Instagram and Patreon.

This blog isn’t behind a paywall because these are things I want to share freely. But if you’d like to support my writing, get early access to other posts, or see exclusive content (like commissioned moodboards and extra thoughts), check out my Patreon!

📷 Instagram: @briechyne ✨ Patreon: Lena Brie

Your support means a lot, whether it’s through Patreon, sharing my work, or just sticking around to read. 💙

And, yes, in this blog we have an Extended Edition. So, please, please, please, check that out!

[theorist-fox]

Theo's favorite videogames

In my bio I have "videogame enthusiast" but I rarely talk videogames on this blog (aside from the CILF—Character I'd Like to Fuck).

So here are my favorite video games!

and no, unfortunately Call of Duty isn't here.

Indie:

Celeste (Platform): The hardest game I've ever played—quite literally lost my sanity over it. I died around... 4k times? (Yes, the game actually keeps count.) But despite the challenge, it's absolutely wonderful. The story beautifully explores overcoming depression and, as creator Maddy Thorson later shared, the journey of self-acceptance and finding peace in one's identity 🏳️‍⚧️ There's a beautiful statement from Maddy that I'll leave here for you to read.

Hollow Knight (Metroidvania): Hollow Knight has my heart and soul. The world-building is phenomenal, and the boss fights are some of the hardest I’ve ever faced—making every victory that much more satisfying. The artwork is absolutely stunning (forever in love with the Queen's Gardens). If I ever disappear out of the blue, assume Silksong (the sequel) finally dropped.

Hades (Roguelike + RPG): Hades is one of the most fun games I’ve ever played—and one of the funniest, too! The voice acting is top-notch, and the artwork is absolutely stunning. The plot is fairly straightforward, but as a (tough) roguelike, its replayability is practically infinite. I love it so much that I own it on both PC and Nintendo Switch!

The Binding of Isaac (Roguelike): The father of roguelike video games. The full bundle is pretty pricey, but considering the infinite possibilities this game offers, it's worth every penny. Playing TBOI has actually taught me so much about video games, and I’ve gotten way better because of it. Plus, the creator is an absolute sweetheart. Just a heads-up: religious trauma ahead!

Stardew Valley (Farming Sim): This game is basically my version of a fidget toy—I play it whenever I’m stressed or anxious. It calms me down better than Xanny does (/j). I love it to the moon and back. Also, I’m a Shane girlie—like, what did you expect from a Simon Riley lover?

Undertale (RPG): If you haven’t played Undertale, what are you even doing!!! The RPG that revolutionized RPGs! It has a beautiful story and such a unique approach to gameplay. The way it subtly guides players toward different choices and playstyles is pure genius. The characters are wonderfully built, and it's hard not to grow attached to every single one of them. Forever, forever, forever in my top three favorite games.

Spiritfarer (Management Sim + Adventure/Platform) A tender, tender game about death. You play as Stella, who takes Charon’s place in guiding lost souls to the afterlife. It’s truly one of a kind in how it explores deep emotions, and I’ll forever hold it closest to my heart—nothing will ever come close to it. And, once again, the artwork is absolutely stunning.

AAA:

Baldur's Gate 3: Yeah, the video game of the century. It has the most beautifully perfect balance between exploration and story-driven gameplay. Endless possibilities, countless endings, hidden shortcuts, incredible character development—you name it. Nothing has topped it yet, and honestly, I’m afraid nothing ever will. Gaming is ruined for me. 😮‍💨

Red Dead Redemption 2: RDR2 was my favorite game ever—until Baldur’s Gate 3 came along. Arthur Morgan has to be one of the most three-dimensional characters ever written for a video game. Scratch that: one of the most three-dimensional characters ever written period. The story is a heartbreaking mix of betrayal and (I know, I know) redemption. There are two possible endings, but let’s be real—you’ll only see one if you’re evil to your core (/s).

God of War: Ragnarok Father-son bonding at its finest. A beautiful story, stunning graphics, and fun—though somewhat limited—gameplay. I loved witnessing the wrath of a mother and exploring Norse mythology. I just wish there was more room for exploration, but alas, it leans more towards a story-driven experience (big plus: ending song by Hozier).

The Last of Us: Father-daughter bonding at its finest. Both games are incredibly dear to me—as a huge fan of post-apocalyptic worlds with a pinch of horror, they hit all the right notes. I wish I could say it’s just a story about zombies, but at its core, it’s about family and breaking the cycle of violence and revenge. Raw, unfiltered, and especially brutal in the second part, The Last of Us will always be a staple of gaming and storytelling (and Naughty Dog soundtracks never miss—God bless Gustavo Santaolalla).

Bioshock: An incredible game setting—I was genuinely sad to leave Rapture behind for Columbia. I’m not the biggest fan of Bioshock Infinite, the third chapter of the saga, mostly because of how visually bright it is. But there’s something truly remarkable about Bioshock's social commentary, and the characters you meet along the way are absolutely iconic. I will never forget the screeches of the Big Sisters and how I developed a pavlovian response to them (shitting my pants).

The Witcher 3: Geralt of Rivia, my beloved. One of my favorite characters to play (and hated to see on the screen I'm sorry). The Witcher 3 strikes a beautiful balance between exploration and story-driven gameplay, with graphics that were ridiculously ahead of their time for 2015. When I first played, I didn’t think my choices really mattered… but oh, they do. If BG3’s vast exploration feels overwhelming and you want something a bit more manageable, The Witcher 3 is the perfect place to start. Also, Gwent.

Professor Layton: Oh boy, where do I even start with this one? I own them all on the Nintendo 3DS and binged them back-to-back without a single break. No game has ever made me feel as stupid as this one did while solving enigmas—but also, no game has ever made me cry the way Professor Layton and the Unwound Future did. I couldn’t recommend this series enough!

If you have recommendations, please tell me all about it. I love to talk videogames! Just jump in my inbox and share xx

With love,

Theo 🦊

[theextendedbriechyne]

I Did Nothing All Day

Well, except for binge-watching a ton of K-dramas that I’ve been putting off for weeks.

The luxury of doing absolutely nothing feels like a reward after spending an entire week running around, being everywhere and anywhere.

I made a promise to myself that at least once a week, I would stay at home and avoid going out—simply because I hate it. Or rather, I love the comfort of my home. Of course, it does get boring sometimes, which is why, during the week, I squeeze in moments to go café-hopping to study, meticulously plan my hours, take a walk along the boulevard, or visit the park after class. I need that time to decompress and let my mind breathe.

Speaking of the park, I love sitting there with my iPad. I don’t carry physical books—mainly because of their weight. Let’s be honest, they’re heavy, and my bag is already burdened with enough stuff. So, my iPad it is. But sometimes, I do miss the feel of flipping through actual pages. The crisp sound of turning a page, the scent of a new book, the satisfaction of seeing how far you’ve read—it’s something digital reading can’t fully replicate. Maybe one day, I’ll go back to carrying at least one paperback with me, but for now, my iPad is my best companion.

Today was unexpectedly great.

The sun was out, the weather was perfect. I woke up at 8 AM, binged all the K-dramas I’ve been meaning to watch, and finally tackled all the content work I’ve been delaying for months because, well, being a student is exhausting. Some tasks just need to be prioritized.

The funny thing is, even though I spent my entire day just lounging around, I still felt productive in a way. Watching K-dramas isn’t just about entertainment for me—it’s also about storytelling, character development, and emotions. There’s something so engaging about diving into different worlds, experiencing different perspectives, and living through the highs and lows of fictional characters. And the best part? No stress, no deadlines, no expectations. Just pure escapism.

I’m not exactly proud of spending the whole day lying down, but given that I wake up early, go to university, juggle endless projects, and constantly feel drained, I think I deserved it.

Honestly, I’m not ready to go back to uni on Monday. Mentally, I need a break.

You know that feeling when you haven’t done any physically demanding work, yet you’re exhausted? Like all you did was sit through classes, stare at notes, and somehow, you’re still completely drained?

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Next week already feels overwhelming, and I don’t even want to think about it.

I just…

Ha…

I need a vacation with a view of the mountains right now.

Or maybe a cozy cabin in the woods, where I can wrap myself in a warm blanket, sip on hot cocoa, and just exist in peace. No responsibilities, no noise, no obligations. Just me, nature, and the quiet hum of a world that isn’t rushing me to keep up. That sounds like a dream right now.

Anyway, I hope you had a productive week. And if you’re a student like me, I see you. We’re all tired. We all feel like giving up sometimes. But whatever your dreams may be, a degree is still important. I don’t care what billionaires say about degrees being useless—sure, you might find a career path unrelated to your studies, but having that degree gives you something to fall back on.

It’s not necessarily an “advantage,” but it’s a safety net. And in this world, sometimes, that’s enough.

Even though I complain a lot about school, I do recognize that education is a privilege. Not everyone gets the opportunity to learn, to pursue a career, or to have choices about their future. It’s easy to forget that when you’re drowning in assignments, but I try to remind myself that this temporary exhaustion is leading somewhere. Somewhere that, hopefully, will be worth it in the end.

So if you’re struggling too, just know you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and one day, we’ll look back at this phase of our lives and be proud of how far we’ve come.

Get my point?

Have a wonderful day, friends! And if you’re feeling exhausted like me, take a break—you deserve it.

Want More?

Thanks for reading my thoughts on missing out! If you enjoy my ramblings, reflections, and general overthinking, you can find more on Instagram and Patreon.

This blog isn’t behind a paywall because these are things I want to share freely. But if you’d like to support my writing, get early access to other posts, or see exclusive content (like commissioned moodboards and extra thoughts), check out my Patreon!

📷 Instagram: @briechyne ✨ Patreon: Lena Brie

Your support means a lot, whether it’s through Patreon, sharing my work, or just sticking around to read. 💙

And, yes, in this blog we have an Extended Edition. So, please, please, please, check that out!

[thorntopieces]

An addition to my post about Genesis from a few days ago, this time from Zack's perspective

Zack comes to Midgar having heard tales of the great hero Sephiroth and his many exploits. It's not the only thing that draws him to Midgar as opposed to the countryside town of Gongaga, but it's a factor all the same. He leaves his parents behind with nothing more than a note on his pillow explaining to them that he's going to Midgar to become a SOLDIER and that he hopes that they will support him through it. He's only thirteen but he's strong and the few times he stuck his hands in a pool of mako it only barely stung and he's talented enough with Materia that he should be accepted right away

Leaving his parents behind hurts and their potential condemnation of his choices make him too scared to reach out and to come home and visit even when he's granted leave. Any mission that goes even close to Gongaga he avoids

Sure enough he's accepted once away, without spending more than two weeks in the infantry barracks before he's accepted into SOLDIER. The mako shots hurt more than the pure mako ever did, but he supposes that has to do with it being injected straight into him, rearranging the cells in his body to enhance him similarly to the great First Class SOLDIERs he has heard so much about. During the injections he cries, fourteen years old and in pain, nauseous and afflicted with the worse headache he's ever had. A research assistant snaps at him to suck it up and it stings so bad he doesn't ever let himself cry in front of anyone else, not until Aerith

Angeal is the one that finds him outside R&D, staring at a wall, clutching his sluggishly bleeding arm (he never sees the research assistent again that snaps at him and refused to bandage his arm 'because the mako would clear it up'). Angeal takes him under his wing from that point onward, protecting him from the worst horrors of SOLDIER, all the while asking himself how they let a barely fourteen-year-old kid into SOLDIER

When he meets Genesis, Genesis brushes him off immediately, entirely disinterested in him. Angeal tells him not to take it personally, that Genesis doesn't easily warm up to other people in the same way Sephiroth doesn't, but Sephiroth is polite in a way Genesis isn't. Genesis seems to hate him. Zack swallows down the rejection and pretends it doesn't hurt him because he's developed a reputation for being happy all the time and no one wants to hear him whine

It takes him until the conversation at the hillside overlooking Gongaga for him and Genesis to finally talk and for Zack to realise that Genesis doesn't really hate him. But it's almost too little, too late, because the only other two people important to both of them are dead and gone

But at least they have each other

Edit: I wrote a small fic about this, that isn't as angsty as this is, it's just the hillside conversation. You can find the link to it here

[starsreminisce]

The bonus chapters do provide context and throwbacks to the main books, and it's frustrating to think they wouldn't impact the overall story. After all, the ACOMAF bonus chapter cemented Nessian's relationship and added depth to their story. SJM excels at weaving these elements seamlessly. Therefore, it feels like a step backward to argue that Elain will face a choice when the bonus chapter clearly shows Azriel's feelings for her and his developing friendship with Gwyn.

Elain demonstrably showed interest in Azriel, but he rejected her. Rhys reminded Azriel that Elain and Lucien still have a bond, and Lucien has the right to defend it. Elain returned his necklace, which Azriel then gave to Gwyn.

Both ACOSF bonus chapters establish context. Azriel's chapter clarifies his sullen behavior at the solstice, and Gwyn starts calling him "Shadowsinger" after he reveals the title. Feyre's chapter explains their choice of the name Nyx for their son.

Therefore, it's confusing why SJM would regress Elain and Azriel's interactions. The bonus chapter clearly showed Azriel hurting Elain to the point of returning his gift. Additionally, it focused on his growing investment in Gwyn. Elain's book likely won't start with a love triangle involving Lucien and Azriel. The bonus chapter suggests Elain has already made her choice.

Ideally, Elain's book will explore her reasons for accepting Azriel's rejection and delve into her feelings for her true mate. Most importantly, we should see Elain stand up for herself against Azriel. This is the third time he's acted without considering her, similar to how Tomas motivated Nesta to overcome her fear.

ACOMAF Bonus Chapter:

He didn’t care. Didn’t give a shit as she rose up on her toes, her mouth nearing his— Pain exploded between his legs, knocking the breath from his chest as that gods- damned knee of hers indeed found its mark. Cassian staggered back, swearing viciously. She snorted, looking down at him as he fell on his ass into an armchair, clutching his stomach, trying to reorder his brain— “You’re all the same,” she said, imperious as the night and cold as the dawn. “Perhaps being an immortal makes you predictable.”

In ACOMAF:

I’d had one break from Cassian’s brutal training—just one morning, when he’d flown to the human realm to see if my sisters had heard from the queens and deliver another letter from Rhys to be sent to them. I assumed seeing Nesta went about as poorly as could be imagined, because my lesson the following morning was longer and harder than it’d been in previous days. I’d asked what, exactly, Nesta had said to him to get under his skin so easily. But Cassian had only snarled and told me to mind my own business, and that my family was full of bossy, know-it-all females.

In ACOSAF:

He didn’t know why the hell he cared. Why he’d bothered. Even from the start. Even after she’d kneed him in the balls that one afternoon at her father’s house.

ACOMAF Bonus Chapter:

No, she had not been with any male, Fae or human. Tomas had wanted to, and she . . . some part of her had known no future lay with him. Knew about his hateful father, and that he did nothing to prevent the man from beating his mother. She had barely let Tomas kiss her, and that day when she had ended it, he’d . . . She swallowed, shutting out the memory of what he’d said and done. The sound of her tearing dress. No—it hadn’t gone that far, but . . . The blind terror in those moments he’d tried, before she’d screamed and clawed her way free. And never told anyone. Something must have shown on her face, in her scent. Because his annoyance vanished—no, it shifted. Into something else, something . . . Rage. That’s what stilled Cassian’s face. Pure, burning rage.

In ACOSF:

Three days afterward, Nesta broke it off with Tomas. Enraged, he’d launched himself at her, pinning her against the enormous woodpile stacked along the barn wall. Spiteful whore, he’d growled. You think you’re better than me? Acting like a queen when you haven’t got shit. She’d never forget the sound of her dress tearing, the greed in his eyes as his hands pawed at her skirts, trying to raise them as he fumbled with the buckle on his belt.

[salty-an-disco]

narrator >:)

ohohohohoh, the most present absent parent himself! (joke stolen from a discord friend lol)

ask game link

• First impression

"Oh, we have a Narrator? Cool! Love stories where the narrator is a character. Oooohhh– an unreliable narrator, is it? This guy's really sus, but I do like the atmosphere he brings to the whole thing–"

• Impression now

What a fuckin' bastard. He's such a great character and antagonist, I love to hate him and hate to love him. Him being the sole reason this game even happened, and arguably causing more irreversible change to the universe as a whole as opposed to if he were to just let things play out as they would is such great dramatic irony. I love him and I hate him and I want to put him in a jar and shake it till he's nothing but sludge.

• Favorite moment

Any time he shows genuine fear (endlessly fighting Adversary and Networked Wild ending) is just incredible, and feels particularly cathartic when you interpret him as a gaslighting parent lol. Also special shout out to the 'I think you know who I am' when you go to the last mirror. Just. so good.

But for my fave moment, I think it gotta be the Moment of Clarity sequence. I saw many interpretations of it, and I think there's truth to all of them, but my personal favorite is that, in that moment, Narrator was able to relate to the princess.

Her suffering, her fears, the worst of her and how it can break her down, he saw himself in her, and didn't know what to do with it. Which is part of the reason he couldn't continue. And the most tragic of it all– that was still just another Echo. And any development/realization he had dies with him the moment he fades away to make space for the next Echo.

• Idea for a story

I have many scattered ideas relating to him, but a main one that keeps coming back, is Echo meeting other versions of himself. Other Echos from different loops, and, mainly– the one that started it all, Echo pre-construct, right before he killed himself. I think that'd be a really interesting character study, to make Echo face with the whole of what his choices did to him.

• Unpopular opnion

Uuuuuuuhhhhhh, not sure if it's really unpopular, but Echo's choices and character is more interesting if we take his claim of 'the world being close to an ending' as an extreme exaggeration, or smth like his personal world ending (a relationship, his main support system, his community, etc). There's just something incredibly human about it, and also, I just don't think it's interesting to make him smth of a 'hero of humanity' or whatever. Neither is it to make him purely a villain. He's literally just a guy who decided to mess with gods cuz he saw no other out to his situation.

• Favorite relationship

Echo & Shifty. Just– the vitriol, the hatred, the fact any time he actually interacts one-on-one with her, Shifty barely acknowledges him or return any of his resentment. How similar they actually are, but how they can never see each other face to face cuz of how fundamentally different their beliefs are.

• Favorite headcanon

This one is very heavy, so– [TW: suicide ment and suicidal ideation]

Whoever Narry was pre-construct was a deeply broken person who saw no out for his situation, but wanted to make sure he wouldn't leave without a significant mark on the world. So– he made the world's most convoluted suicide plan, with 'saving the world' as its rationalization for why he needed to go through that.

[herharmonyhub]

Truths With Ange: Family, what’s the point?

Welcome to another Her Harmony Hub Blog. Let’s sit back and unpack ☕️

if you’ve read the title? you see what this is going to be about. Family. see how it’s in red? clearly i’m about to explain how mine is PURE EVIL. [just kidding, im exaggerating .. but i’m not]

Growing up our impression of our families are 9/10 way different than the version of them we experience as we’re older. as kids we’re only shown the polished versions, the family holidays, group pictures, big gatherings. where it’s always good vibes. as a child i didn’t know nothing about reading the room or paying attention to another persons energy, an adult wasn’t my area of expertise. i minded my business and stayed in a child’s place. i oh so badly wish i could’ve did that as an adult. the distaste i have for the adults in my family… is real. hearing the stories that i have, experiencing the ones that i have and being put in the environments of certain ones? it’s just showed me .. family really is just a word. i don’t see how after all the heinous things they’ve done or said to one another they got the audacity to even go ‘’family over everything’’. that’s a joke right? i’m not gone say with my generation we didn’t have our moments of immaturity. we were kids, of course we would. but as young adults we’ve corrected our ways privately & have grown closer than ever. a bond the ones prior to us can’t even begin to touch. we’re so tight-knit that if an adult goes against one of us? we got smoke with whoever it is. we’d rather beef with them than each other. THAT’S FAMILY. we roll together, we eat together, we talk shit together, we are all on one accord. i wish i could say the same for the rest of the family, but clearly that’s not the case. everyone is subconsciously in their own neutral corners, walking on eggshells, harboring resentment and it boils over eventually. let’s back up shall we..

I come from a very big family [on both sides]. my parents got divorced when I was 5 years old due to infidelity and honestly? thank you. Last thing i needed was anymore screaming matches in my house where i’m hiding behind couches and my parents playing tug of war, i’m just tryna watch powerpuff girls. from that point on i was split between both my parents, mom majority, dad on the weekends and holidays. my mom comes from a family of 9. [yes the jackson 5 from south philly] and i was around them a lot just like my dads side, but i gravitated closer to my dad’s side as a child. we did a lot more, had more family oriented events and it was good vibes [or so i thought]. my mom is the black sheep of her family, i never understood why as a little girl but lord does GOD sure know how to show me the truth about things i did not understand. my mom had the right idea. as you grow to learn your family from all angles, they are all a piece of work. 8/10 families are so damn dramatic and it be too much. now am i the perfect family member? no. i don’t really seem to care about anything anyone got going on outside of my immediate and i BARELY care about what they got going on. but i’m not disrespectful if they want me to show up and help somewhere? do i really want to do it.. NO, but i do it because of the blind loyalty family embeds in you. we’re supposed to be of service to each other. family tends to show you that they’re the FIRST breach of traumatic experiences. we’re brought up thinking because we’re family we don’t really have a choice but to be there for one another. which opens the doors of taking advantage. they see just how much they can milk you for then overdo it. there’s so much layered trauma in families that they never confront, so they let that poison run down into their generation with no character development and then wonder why certain kids are rebellious. YOU SUCK. let me break it down..

my mom being the black sheep is exactly the roll im coming into for my family. after i had my son, my mother & i hit our peak of the war that brews between mother and daughter. at the time i didn’t understand why she was being so aggressive towards me, over the years of us being apart? i started to understand her a lot more so we reconnected on a stronger, more open lane of vulnerability so we better understand each other. as a child i felt very emotionally neglected so i’m atleast happy one of my parents got it together in my adulthood & i’m grateful it’s my mother. so when she kicked me and my son out… i was angry, i didn’t talk to her for a while, kept her from my son, the whole petty riggamarole. then we eventually spoke again, had a better understanding. now my mom is my ace boon coon. my bestie for the restie . i’d hop jump and skip for my homegirl lol. my mother was a single mom just trying to make sure we stayed afloat, now that i’m a single mother? i understand her. i see her. i hear her. there isn’t anything in this world i wouldn’t do for my mom. i’d probably die with her when God calls her home i love her that much. the older i get the more like her i am, and there’s no one else i’d rather be like. watching the growth my mother has gone through after having me at 40, going through a divorce, 2-3 bum boyfriends and now 67.. going to line dance classes, water aerobics, her own business, and still a full time job? TRAVELING ALL THE TIME? she’s an inspiration. she gives me hope that no matter the time frame? you can live your life freely whenever you feel like it. she’s flawed like everyone else but atleast she’s accountable. God bless my mother always, and it’s always smoke behind her. god forbid i didn’t do no self work and i turned out an emotionless miserable pit of resentment like my dad. *sigh* and that’s me saying it nicely. my mom’s side of the family, they petty with their own deep rooted trauma & sibling issues but i don’t have to deal with that.. i didn’t have to deal with the rawness of that side of the family. i grew up majorly wanting to always be with my dads side cause i thought they were the best part. we were once a routined family and everything was planned, we were prepared every year for the same happy family moments. easter family pictures, thanksgiving and christmas dinners at my grandmothers house. it’s as if my brother dying [he was murdered in 2016] completely dropped everyone’s mask. it got uglier and hotter than HELL in this family.

i often sit and thought where my self-awareness for this family started & that’s when it did. losing my older brother Dre. in many ways he was the glue of this family, the sweet soul.. no matter what he’s done my brother always had good intentions with what he does. even with his upbringing he still worked against it. i didn’t get much time with my brother, i don’t count 18 years cause that’s childhood. i never got to know my brother as an adult & i’m sure he would’ve been the only one that understood me fully. didn’t tell me what i needed to be doing. didn’t keep reminding me where i’m lacking. he was the only one during my pregnancy that didn’t look at me like i was a fuck-up. the one and ONLY happy part about my pregnancy. he only had 3 months with imir, he was so excited for him. I still have their 2 pictures they took & i’m glad i at least have those. it’s just unfortunate imir will never know who he is but he will always know who he was. the dark side of dre’s death is the fact nobody did right by him in his passing. as angry as we are about his abrupt home-going, there’s more ways we could’ve honored him and it’s lacked there tremendously. our family things stopped when dre passed & granted, yes it’s too painful but why stop the things that brought us together? they’re picking them back up now at my sisters house. which is all cool, but it took nearly 8 years for this. why? — thats not even where i’m headed cause i really don’t care about that.— just recently, me and my select few family members that i’m close with had an in depth conversation & it made me realize… everyone handled my brothers death very selfishly. i remember my dad saying many times ‘’my son isn’t here, what family?’’ what do you mean? when my brother died everyone raided his house for their own personal adavantage. took his clothes, his jewelry, his army things, anything they could their hands on & i was the only one who texted others who cared about dre asking what did they want. my cousin who dre loved, got her a jacket. his son? HIS SON.. barely got anything. a car that was meant to be his is no longer able to be driven & that’s.. sad. dre left behind 2 cars, one was a big truck & a small car. a car that was meant for either of his kids when they were able to drive, lol.. it’s parts now & take with that what you will. talking to my nephew who’s 24 now, he has some very strong feelings about our family & how they treat him. i do as well cause dre passed… yes, but his kids are still here. we’re all slowly building a relationship with his daughter she was packed up and moved to south carolina. but his son? literally just across the bridge. he and i have a very close bond, it’s been that way since we were kids though. i understand him, i see him, i listen to him. i consider him. i was one of the first people he told he was gay & i welcomed him with open arms. coming from a heavily religious family of course they judge him and inflict their insecurities on his sexuality. but smoking mountains of weed, drinking, indulging in things while married/ doing things that are against the religion gets done, speaking badly or down but being gay is where we cross the line? lmao. for some sinning people they’re very judgey & i don’t get that. ALL of them have no room to judge what anyone does with their life, like i said in my last blog post ‘’if we get to telling people what they need to do with their lives it’d get very ugly’’ im watering down a lot of what i could say, due to the fact i come from a family that refuses to take accountability for the terror they inflict on their kids. there’s so many heinous things i’ve heard of being done from the very people were supposed to honor & it disgust me. i don’t respect none of it. i’ll never dishonor my God by blatantly kicking my family to curb. if i’m needed? i’ll show up but the minute i can create the distance i need? they will experience a new definition of a deadbeat family member. it’s like in every corner there’s negative energy. don’t matter where we land, somebody PISSES me off & throws my energy off.

i have one sister. my older sister, she’s the best.. she’s the family manager basically. everyone calls her for everything. an emergency, a favor. she’s the most reliable. i believe people take complete advantage of her. 100%. but since that’s been her role her entire life, she doesn’t know how to break out of it. with our brother passing, he was the run - around sibling too. andre kids were the reliable ones & then he passes away, then everything and everyone got dumped on her. so where i can? i provide help. i make sure i show up for her, help her when she needs it & no matter what? i’ll always show up for my sister. here’s my thing tho.. the people around her be on a very thin line with me cause she may not see it [or she does] but they see she’s a hustler and fall on they ass & i don’t find that okay at all. y’all must not know who she really is & i hate that for y’all. my sister is married, she had her first 2 kids young & then my niece priyah. i do see my sister as a super mom. a super mom that gets little to nothing back in return. she may vent about it, but do people change? no. her upbringing wasn’t that great, but that’s her story to tell, not mine but from what i do know about her story & her parents.. she didn’t have much to work with. [yes, one of her parents is mine but that’s not the point… it is] she’s picked up a lot of our father’s traits but she’s a female, so maybe she’s a bit softer with hers. i didn’t pick up that, they also spent more time together. which moves me into, my dad. as a child i just seen my dad as my dad.. i give him one thing, he never played about his kids. if you don’t like his kids, he don’t like you. he was a very hands on dad & i don’t mean in the best way. i mean, controlling. he’s one of those ‘’i’m going to tell you what you’re going to do and if you don’t do it, you’re a fuck up’’ & one thing about me n my sister, is we always did the complete opposite. growing up the emotional aspect was not there for me. i wasn’t catered to emotionally at all, always seen as dramatic. IM A FEMALE, YES IM EMOTIONAL.. hormonal. i feel like my dad doesn’t know a thing about me. my favorite color, my favorite food, why i love butterflies, the things i like to do, what i wanna do with my life, who i’m with, what’s my type, anything you can think of that a dad should know about their child? he doesn’t. it used to bother me but now it just doesn’t. i know who i am & nobody can tell me otherwise. i used to care what my parents thought about me until their approval didn’t really move me. would i like their approval? of course.. but do i really need it? no. when it comes to my dad i just take him for how he is, he’s never going to change. you can tell him till he’s blue in the face that he’s mean, ignorant & a cesspool of bad energy and he’d say ‘’oh well, it’s just how i am’’ what exactly am i supposed to do with that? i know, make sure that never comes out of my mouth when someone tells me about myself. there has to be some redeeming qualities of my dads because he’s stayed in relationships, hell he’s married now & i adore my stepmom. she’s such a pure soul [he doesn’t deserve her but that’s a story for another time]. we’ve also lost my stepbrother to gun violence, he wasn’t even freshly into his 20’s before some scum bag took him off the earth & god forbid she find other people to grieve with. THERE’S JUST SO MANY LAYERS.. it’s never-ending. the basis of this is family is complex, complicated, and more stress than needed.

i want to end this blog with my purest feelings towards my family & i don’t care how they feel about it if they read this.. these are my feelings by the way. i love my family, of course it’s unconditional. but y’all are extremely toxic with behaviors embedded in you from the generations before you & my generation is burnt out. we shouldn’t be in our 20’s planning on moving as far as possible from y’all due to the energy y’all put out. y’all don’t know a thing about boundaries. we aren’t obligated to tell none of you what’s going on in our lives especially when we’ve seen the result of letting you in before. we move in silence due to the fact y’all are extremely judgmental, selfish & think we living a life for any of you when this is our lives. there’s a lot of things that transpires where the cheek gets turned & they shouldn’t. more conversations need to be had where you’re listening to comprehend, not to respond. stop thinking you know everything about what we should be doing, and ask with intentions to know us. start reaching out on your own, we’re not obligated to text or call y’all.. yall phones work the same way ours do. stop asking everyone but the person you’re asking about ‘’what’s going on with them?’’ reach out. the same way everyone can put the effort in to aide to themselves? tending to your family is cool too. even though it’s too far gone for us in my opinion, distance is the only answer for us, i hope..as there’s still people younger than us they apply something’s going forward. where i’m at ? i’m moving so far away that they only have to see me on holidays. i said in my caption teasing this blogthat my family has given me countless examples of what not to be or what not to do & i’m saying this loud & clear.. there’s not a thing in any of their lives that’d i’d repeat, take advice for, model my life or relationships after. everything y’all put out? i pray against & change things immediately so i’m not running down the same venomous poison into my kids. i said, i love my family but i can’t wait to get far away form them. the damage is done. so they better soak up the little moments i give now as i’m getting on my feet .. cause once i am? i’m out & i’m not turning back. AND THAT’S MY TRUTHS.

[darkcandy-starfait]

Theory: Ralsei is a Titan (or at least a Neo darkner)

Hey so. this theory and analysis has been long over due, I'm so sorry but I kept forgetting and getting sidetracked with school work.

Okay so many people have noticed how weird Ralsei is, he's honestly a whole can of worms on his own without considering every theory being made about him.

But I have had this particular theory in my for like almost a whole fucking year, so let me propose a weirder one: Ralsei is a titan.

What do I mean by that? Honestly, I kind of only half way know what that means, since this is more of crack theory but here are my points

We all know that Ralsei looks different between the first two chapters. But a few people have pointed out that Ralsei's transformation from chapter 1 to chapter 2 is rather strange, as the two look very different. Toby has said that Ralsei looking different was a recent choice made during development.

He first starts out as this black, fluffy figure in a ratty looking robe, with his hands mostly obscured, and a hat. but after he takes off the hat, he suddenly looks very different: white fur, and more boss monster like. in chapter 2 we see his robes are neater looking and his arms are visible with black sleeves.

I find this bizarre, because it's such a drastic change. Looking at his two forms side by side, it almost looks like two different characters. Like, taking off a hat should not change your form like that, even if it might be dark world logic.

Ralsei is also shown to disappear when he's downed in battles. Susie, Kris and Noelle all have sprites of them kneeling or collapsed on the ground when their hp reaches 0. But ralsei just... turns into a pile of his clothes, in both forms. Almost like he's made of nothing??

Ralsei also seems seems just show up in dark worlds without Kris or Susie bringing him there in his supposed object form. Other darkners like Rouxls and Lancer are physical objects (both of them are playing cards), and need to be carried in Kris' pocket to the Cyber World. Kris has to physically take all the objects from rooms and bring them back to the supply closet.

Since we still only have two chapters at the moment, what object Ralsei actually is in the light world is currently a mystery. Some say he could Kris' red horned headband (personal favourite of mine), or even the missing green crayon in the Dreemurr house.

I even theorised that he might be Kris' mysterious knife they always seem to have on them, which is why he's always in the dark world shortly after Kris and Susie arrive there. But we never see Kris' knife in their inventory anywhere, unless Kris is just. materialising the knife out of thin air???

This still doesn't change to fact that Ralsei, if he did have an light world object equivalent, would have to be carried around like every other darkner in order to travel to other dark worlds. But he doesn't. He just... shows up in Cyber World to help Susie and Kris without any explanation other than "I felt a dark presence."

Most interestingly, he later explains that darkners who don't belong in other dark worlds will turn to stone. All the Card Castle characters in the Cyber World turn to stone in chapter 2, but Ralsei doesn't. He does say that Castle Town's fountain is made of pure darkness, so that's why all darkners can live there.

Ralsei being Castle Town's ruler helps him in this case, and the fact that a piece of text in Toby's concepts for Ralsei's manual says that Ralsei's form is made from Castle Town's fountain. Makes sense that a being made from pure darkness would be able to live in every dark world. But here's another question I have.

WHY is Castle Town's fountain made of pure darkness? How did it get this way? Is it because the fountain has maybe been around longer, while others like Card Kingdom and Cyber World were created only recently? What makes a fountain pure darkness?

Well here we bring up some interesting lore from Queen in chapter 2. Queen says that she needs a lightner to help spread more darkness, by literally opening a dark fountain inside a dark world. In the Giga Queen fight, she calls it a Neo Fountain.

Berdly almost makes this a reality, only to be stopped by Ralsei, who suddenly drops the lore about the Roaring.

The Roaring is a prophecy of a sort of apocalyptic event, where opening more dark fountains and fountains within fountains could cause mass destruction. Giant beings known as Titans will form from all the fountains, and will cover the world in darkness, turning darkners to stone and leaving humans to fend for themselves.

Ralsei speaks of this like its either a prophecy that was passed down to him, or something he even witnessed first hand. Maybe that's why he has no subjects in Castle Town. But I want to go back to everything I've said here about Ralsei, the most important ones bolded.

• is able to change forms by the drop of a hat (haha)

• is supposedly made of pure darkness like Castle Town's fountain

• fades into nothing when he's downed in battles

• can travel between dark worlds without being brought physically in the light world

• doesn't turn to stone when in other dark worlds while many other darkners do

• knows about a catastrophic event where more fountains are made and giant beasts made from darkness ravage the land

That last part. When I remembered that Ralsei said that the titans are formed from dark fountains, and that Ralsei is a darkner of pure darkness... well that got me thinking: What if Ralsei is a young titan? His first form in chapter 1 could be closer to his true titan form, and he might be taking a new form in chapter 2 to appeal more to lightners.

(Side note Ralsei taking the form of a boss monster, the species that Kris' family is, is another can of worms I have to save when I talk about their connections.)

What if Ralsei is a product of a Neo fountain being created? What if he's the last remnant of a time when there were more fountains, when the sky was black with terror, and the land cracked with fear.

Like, NEO fountains are even talked about more in the Spamton Sweepstakes. When you play this puzzle on the website, and click the 3rd option on the bottom row, you are brought to a sprite of a chair.

We all know the chair, but the phrase in the window of this page definitely seems seems be hinting at the creation of Neo fountains.

What if that's Ralsei's deal. Even if he isn't a titan, what if he's some kind of Neo darkner? What if he's more darkner than darkners in general?

_

Honestly I'm fully prepared for this theory to be steam rolled over when the next two chapters drop, but it was fun and interesting to write nontheless! I'm interested to see if anyone else has their own theory about this or if you even had the same thoughts?

[theharellan]

how does Solas cope or work through the aftereffects of the regret prison?

content warning for mental health / body dysmorphia

At first, it's pure cope.

I've written my Solas as suffering from derealisation/depersonalisation for a good while now. It's been an issue for him since he manifested physically, exacerbated by the body dysmorphia he experiences from his unwilling flesh. It is exacerbated again by the Veil, and throughout early Inquisition he is dealing with symptoms of derealisation. He has developed methods to treat these symptoms. Tellingly, this banter with Cole:

Cole: It's brighter here. Glittering. Glaring. Glinting. I can't...

Solas: It's a mild tremor in the Veil. Nothing to worry about. Focus on what is here, in this world.

Cole: But... what is here?

Solas: Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin.

Cole: (Breathes.) Thank you.

Solas: It's nothing. It can be overwhelming for anyone.

Is a treatment for derealisation in modern medicine. So, he has some pre-established methods that might help.

That being said, the regret prison is a different beast. He has always had a strict command of his dreams, and the Fade has often been a safe space for him. But he designed the prison with the ability to keep even the likes of Elgar'nan caged, and has utmost faith in its creation (he designed it, after all). What's more, by being its first host it does appear to be shaped to him, with him having to pull Rook in not only because they were mired in their regrets at that moment, but because they share a regret (Varric's fate).

I imagine the prison as a constant sensory overload for him, a deluge of the past millennia of his existence bearing down upon him almost without reprieve. And if he comes close to working through one, another cuts him off. A pack hunting down its singular prey, if you will. Wolves are persistence hunters, after all.

One last note about Solas in regret prison is that he tries to outsmart his regrets rather than confront them. From a (potentially cut) codex written by Emmrich:

I would offer, however, that your escape shows the true difference in how you and Solas suffered this regret. Solas escaped through evasion. In many ways, he addressed Varric’s fate as he did the problem of the Fade: a puzzle to be navigated or, where possible, denied. ... An immortal life founded in denial risks becoming an endless collection of loss. It would appear that, in the shadow of eternity, a god might regret but cannot accept.

These are the lies and misdirections he tells himself that Rook can call him out on. And like so many of Solas's lies, there is a method of truth to them. It was Rook's fault the gods escaped (but it was his as well), it was an accident that Varric was stabbed (but he did stab him, nevertheless).

The regret murals are another example of this. The Mythal fragment describes them as branches twisting to catch the sun, and while I think what she means by this is up for interpretation, I have my own take. For now, I feel like the best thing I can say is that the regret murals indicate Solas as someone who struggles not only with regret but with the perception of himself as a victim.

It is easier for him to see himself as a villain, because it makes everything he's done a choice. Every friend he's betrayed, every crime he's committed, wasn't because he was a person trapped in an impossible spot, trying to do right by himself, the person he loved, and his people, but the steady hand of Wisdom (or Pride) making the hard choices no one else can. He has to be the one to do it, and it has to be entirely his choice. While out of character I maintain that Solas's agency is reframed by abuse and circumstance, it does not change the fact that he has a responsibility to those mistakes, but I think Solas disagrees. At least when it comes to himself.

So the paint chips, the plaster cracks. Any evidence that he is anything less than in control of his own life fades.

Upon his escape, there is little time to work through anything. Elgar'nan descends upon Minrathous, eager to retake his throne as the god of tyranny, the threat of blight bears down upon the world. There are weeks between, but they are the bat of an eyelash in the span of his existence. So in no way does he begin to truly address those regrets in that time.

He mistakes voices he has known for years as being the manifestations of it, come to haunt him. He stands alone in crowds. He feels nothing. He feels like he is watching himself from outside of his body.

He copes by centering himself, as mentioned in the Cole banter when I started writing this ask reply 40 years ago. Focusing on physical sensations, manifestations of magic in his palm as a stim, counting his breath, etc.

The regret prison seems a very physically isolating place, and I think physical touch would be a salve sometimes. Which, canon Solas is out of luck, but this iteration has Ian. In this thread, hearing Ian's voice makes him flinch, but the Ian in the regret prison never touched him, the real Ian can.

I do think he plays at addressing it. Partially because he escaped it, so he has (in some manner) escaped his regrets, and partially because he has Ian, who knows everything the party knows and more. Not saying anything would be stranger, especially as Ian knows his symptoms of his weakening mental health from their years together. So even in trying to address it he is still coping, almost trying to trick Ian (and himself) into believing he has processed things. The same way he does every time he says out loud that he is someone deeply aware of his mistakes.

Ian, for his part, is a war medic and well-aware that this isn't the time to unpack the centuries upon centuries of trauma his not-husband is failing to process. Although even Ian has his limits, and cannot bring himself to validate some of Solas's regrets involving Mythal. I think here is where the trick is laid bare, and it's clear the things he wounds he believes he has dressed are, in fact, bleeding through the bandage.

It would only be post-game that he could truly begin work through these regrets, and getting over the after effects of the prison that inflicted upon him in such a visceral manner. He will still flinch when Ian (or Thora, or Miraen, or Felassan, or Emithas etc) says his name sometimes. He still will hear him anticipate violence in their words. Sometimes, when the twilight steals into night and all the colour drains from the world, he anticipates statues on the horizon.

But whether the Veil is gone or he is atoning in the prison, being more connected to the Fade and in a better environment allows the sixth sense of magic to flow through him as it hasn't since the Veil's construction. When Ian says his name, it rings with both worlds. And there is little to regret in the sound.

It is a journey, but not a battle, as so many other things have been in his life.

[where-is-the-angst]

Left to Wither Alone: P1

PERCY: PREFACE

WORD COUNT: 525

NEXT CHAPTER

FIC MASTERLIST

Another thing I did for a dare, so basically Percy realizes he is in love with Luke right as he dies. This takes place right at the end of The Last Olympian. Percy struggles with grief and mixed feelings afterwards, and it sort of becomes a Gercy story where Grover helps him cope with grief and Percy develops feelings for him lol

[This takes place during The Last Olympian when Luke has awoken Kronos; him being basically possessed by Kronos at random intervals. Annabeth throws him her dagger because the only way for Kronos to be stopped is for him to stab his achilles heel (his arm). Luke finished his ‘villain monologue’ :-)]

Luke seemed to know what I was thinking. He moistened his lips. “You can’t…. Can’t do it yourself. He’ll break my control. He’ll defend himself. Only my hand. I know where. I can… can keep him controlled.”

“I–” He started. “I- don't understand.”

“Percy.. You must know that it was all for you.” Luke replied, an affectionate lilt in his voice. “Everything. All of it. The system is flawed. And I thought…” 

Percy was shocked beyond words. Beyond belief. Tentatively, he said, “Thought what?”

The marble floor shook beneath them as Luke grasped the knife Annabeth tossed him just moments before. Realizing what he was about to do, Percy yelled “Luke! Stop! Don’t kill yourself over this!”

“It’s too late Percy. I’ve made my choice, I just want to let you know that I- I really like you Percy. I’m happy I got to know you.” And with that, he stabbed himself in the arm, his achilles heel. 

Percy shrieked in pure agony. Concerned, Annabeth darted toward him, only for him to push her away. He had laser focus on the only thing that mattered. Dropping down to the ground, wincing at the pressure on his fresh wounds. Percy kneeled beside Luke, who was now barely conscious. 

Blood pooling around them, Percy sighed, “Luke. It’s ok, I’ve got you. You’re safe now.” Tears were beginning to well in his eyes. “Luke. Don’t—” His voice broke, “Don’t leave. Don’t leave me.”

“Percy…” Luke’s weak voice started, “It’s- It’s ok. Don’t cry. Just know, I-I will always love you.”

Somewhat startled but without hesitation Percy said, “I love you too, Luke. Always will.”

Tears blurred Percy’s vision, and it didn’t take much for him to know that Luke’s were as well. Grasping Luke’s head close to his chest Percy whispered “Goodbye, Luke. See you in Elysium.” He knew it was too late. There was nothing he could do. Luke had made the ultimate sacrifice, and Percy could do nothing to stop his slowing heartbeat.

Luke took one last ragged breath as the shaky beat of his heart became unnoticeable and began, “I–”.

That was all it took for Percy to completely break. Earth-shattering sobs racked his body. All that was. All that could’ve been. All that wasn’t. It was too much for him to bear. He didn’t even know he was gay! His heart, his purpose, and his will to live were all lost in that one moment. If he could go back just a few days, just a few minutes. Everything that didn’t make sense, all his confusion over Annabeth was settled the moment Luke’s blue eyes settled on him. 

And so with that, Percy detangled himself. Looking nowhere but forward, he stood and continued his now meaningless existence. 

[anawkwardlady]

Dadbastian week day 2 : Identity

(poem referenced is The Wolf and the Lamb by Jean de La Fontaine)

The reason of those best able to have their way is always the best: We now show how this is true A lamb was quenching its thirst In the water of a pure stream. A fasting wolf came by, looking for something; He was attracted by hunger to this place.

Humans are grasshoppers. Children are worth even less. After all, they're just beginning to gain a sense of value to humans themselves since it's so easy to make them, to lose them, to make some more. They’re nothing but an unshaped clay of potential for creatures like him. Shaped by knives, intentions and expectations, probable pain— until maybe one day, one or two walks outside, reeking of blood and rage, right into his mouth. And it's been this way since the dawn of time, time he killed for centuries to fill the gaping hole where a soul should be, which he filled with many others. 

When that unshaped clay signed his soul away, the demon signed away his freedom for a mere potential. No choice was left for any of them. He was to take on the role of hands and knives but did not think through it very much. He was himself unshaped clay of somesort, walking within the human skin of a protective adult. The demon looks down on the tiny thing that called him over. 

—What makes you so bold as to meddle with my drinking? Said this animal, very angry. You will be punished for your boldness

The now Butler looks at his wet gloved hands. They burn. Pain of the flesh is inconsequential, he could get a new one some time soon, it's a foreign feeling, while obviously unpleasant. Like maybe cutting a finger up while dreaming away. Pain of the ego however rings through his entire body. The unshaped clay now Master is behaving like a newborn pulling a cat’s tail over and over again. It soon enough will become a bit of an endearing trait of his, probably. When it’ll stop triggering his desire to maim. He looks up at this weak master who slowly gains a shape. 

—Sir, answered the lamb, let Your Majesty Not put himself into a rage; But rather, let him consider That I am taking a drink of water In the stream More than twenty steps below him; And that, consequently, in no way, Am I troubling his supply.

Blood is on the grass and more will pour. Body filled with adrenaline as it rips more intruders, more targets. Nothing is known of them, and the demon wouldn’t care to learn such things as family, names or any pleadings, any excuses. Death doesn’t come out of anger nor is it personal. He is ordered to execute and execute he does. Soon enough he only knows executing, can only smell blood and starts to drown inside his limiting cage. 

Everything morphs into each other, flesh is wounds is meat is guts is human. Like all the times he reached this state before, he gains the knowledge that better sleeps soundly inside. Wonders if it will finally be the time to toss aside those learned quirks of patience and care, of loyalty and dignity to give in to hunger. He used to quietly slip back inside, soiled with death, towards the master’s bedroom he entered without a sound just to stare at the little figure. The boy doesn’t move, probably won’t hear. He spent too many sleepless nights before, thus sometimes got a little help in his milk before laying down, to avoid complete exhaustion. Works wonders. Humans develop new tricks everyday to avoid children's screams. 

—You do trouble it, answered the cruel beast. And I know you said bad things of me last year. —How could I do that when I wasn’t born, Answered the lamb; I am still at my mother’s breast. —If it wasn’t you, then it was your brother. —I haven’t a brother.—It was then someone close to you;

The child is the weakest of its kind. His prey smells like death and yet it only brings questions. The demon should eat to appease hunger but cannot, because he chose to be Sebastian. Sebastian is a placeholder for a child’s needs but even that part doesn’t reason. After all, even a mother cat eats her sickest kitten. And it seems like deep down even the master knows the wrong kitten was dragged to hell. In the end, Sebastian showed up and ate what was on the plate. Nothing more nothing less. Everything in nature should take this life away. Nothing did. Humans tame themselves for preservation sake. Something valuable to learn about them. Tame yourself and wait. 

For you have no sympathy for me, You, your shepherds and your dogs. I have been told of this. I have to make things even.

Tame yourself and wait. 

As the demon thinks of his hunger, the butler starts to mechanically check a mental list of tomorrow’s imperatives. His stomach tores apart. He wonders if the bread could make a good Pain Perdu for tea time. Blood sticks to his skin. The young master will be wearing his blue coat, because the air starts to get cold. 

He gently puts his tainted red gloves away, rearranges Ciel’s pillow and covers before disappearing like he came. Cleans the mess outside.

Tame yourself and wait. 

Saying this, into the woods The wolf carries the lamb, and then eats him Without any other why or wherefore.

Thankfully he was always more bored than he was hungry.

[diazfox]

I have a lot of thoughts about Red, White & Royal Blue (both the book and the movie). If you manage to read through the whole thing, I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings! Please feel free to interact. If you don't feel like reading through the brain dump of a random girl from nowhere, here's a summary: movie was great, but the book remains undefeated, plus a pathetic attempt at rallying for a petition to make this into a series.

I first read the book in january 2023 (I was very late to booktok I'm sorry) and have been obsessed since then. I have re-read it multiple times and have pages of annotations in my pdf copy. as a huge literature nerd, thematic expressions, plot and character development mean so much to me. While it's not a crime to interpret this book as an idealistic and purely romantic piece of fiction, I think there is plenty to value in the way family, politics and self-discovery is illustrated in the novel.

To me, it's really the intricacies that give so much to life to many scenes and characters. June standing up for Alex even when he never outright asked for it, staying in the white house for him instead of pursuing her own dreams. June feeling trapped and chained down being born into a life of politics, while Alex, entirely optimistic and determined, revels in it. Nora being introduced as a tech junkie who gives it to him straight while June is the more soft-spoken one, but Nora being the one to deliver the most important cold hard truths that wake Alex up multiple times throughout the book. How Alex is who is because he has these 2 girls who provide him with 2 different support systems - June who understands the struggles of the public eye, the divorce of his parents, being biracial, and Nora who understands the realm of queerness and shares his passion in politics. Rafael Luna's story arc and the triple-crossing. How Alex looked up to him so fervently, how Luna has his own dark past that made him who is today.

and Henry... (cue BIG DREAMY SIGH) The harrowing reality that someone so special not only to him but both Bea and his mom as well left all of them so bereaved that his mom completely shut off and Bea turned to a life of drugs. His father who symbolised everything that the crown frowned upon, and stole his mother's royal-blooded heart anyways. How Henry was probably brought up to be fearless and strong just like his parents but his entire family was snatched from him at such a young age that it left him stranded and lost, leaving him no choice but to follow the path of royal traditions, being pushed and shoved around however they deemed fit. and when he did get older and privy to his sexuality, it was too late to turn back and stand his ground to say "No, I don't want this life." The pills, the insomnia, the piece of himself that's been lost forever, that nothing and nobody will ever be able to replace. Percy being his only escape from the royal lifestyle, how he was willing to share a part of his life's works for Henry to experience outside his mundane royal duties, something Henry chooses to do instead of being forced to. Bea stepping up after realising how she needs to do better not only for herself but for her brother as well, that all they have is each other and she needs to fight for them. Bea being the protective sister who explains to Alex how Henry misses his dad, and that he needs to be comfortable with the fact that there will always be a part of Henry that Alex might never be able to reach. Henry's mom stepping up in the end, not willing to lose her son the way she lost her husband, how Henry is the closest living reminder to the love of her life, born with his heart on his sleeve.

Their emails. Henry and his beautiful monologues depicting grief and love. How he has never bared his heart out like that to anyone, yet when he finally found the right person, everything was leaked to the entire world. The multiple references to historical figureheads and literature that actually give "History, huh? Bet we could make some" all it's meaning.

The tension in the confrontation with the queen. The nervous wreck that election night put me in. The political journey of this book further helped to solidify the idealistic, fairytale-like nature of the novel and its ending. It left me with such an overwhelming sense of comfort, like coming back to my childhood home (quite literally in Alex's case).

Ellen and Zahra's relationship, Oscar and Luna's relationship, Oscar saying Ellen will always be the love of his life... the list is literally endless. I could go on forever. I laughed, I cried, I screamed into my pillow, I stared out my window wistfully, wondering how people can feel so much so deeply.

All these details that bring so much colour and dimension to the plot convinced me that it would be a crime not to make a live action of this book. But that is not to say that the movie was bad. I had already prepared myself beforehand to handle the disappointment of not getting all 500 pages verbatim, and I understand the directional choices made to focus solely on Alex and Henry's relationship, not having the luxury of time. Viewing the movie as something separate from the book, it was beautifully executed and I have already watched it 3 times now.

But... just to put it out there...

Imagine a live action with everything I mentioned above, though. Wouldn't it be lovely to go on all these journeys with all these people together with Alex and Henry? And it's not something completely impossible is it? I think even an animated series would be sublime but is it really too much to ask for the novel to be made into a proper series? I feel like Casey has given us such a wholesome and never-seen-before story that deserves every nook and cranny to be explored and made into film. We have had so many versions of Little Women and Pride & Prejudice, so I'm holding out hope that a rwrb series is not an impossible feat. Taylor and Nick will always be Alex and Henry in my head, but that's something I'm personally willing to trade for a longer series made with even more people and further explorations that the movie couldn't afford to make.

My sister asked me last month why I kept losing my marbles everytime a new photo or clip dropped. Said that "it's just a random book, get over it". I think this book means a lot to many different people from different walks of life. Minority race, being biracial, coming to terms with bisexuality, dealing with divorce, dealing with the public eye, being born into a family that you don't entirely identify with, losing a loved one, dealing with mental illnesses, dealing with grief, standing up to authority, being outed, letting yourself love and be loved. This book encapsulates such a vast array of experiences and emotions that I'm confident that I'm not the only one who feels this strongly about "just a random book".

Casey really did make history, didn't they?