#so my brain is fried (AGAIN) and I'm just so mad

[amtrak12]

There are too many individual topics in chapter 8 of my fic, and I keep trimming and relocating and summarizing topics and it keeps being over 9000 words long and I wouldn't be mad about that except for all the topics. It's chaotic! There are too many topics!

Like besties, is this supposed to be two chapters instead of one???? It can't do that to me! I had the title picked out already! It's absolutely perfect! I can't change the title! D:

[bunnys-kisses]

how can i take your order? all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and driver/character of your choosing! are you in the mood for a mille-feuille or a big slice of chocolate cake! please, please, please indicate who you want me to write about!!

the servers are from the following: formula one, call of duty, baldur's gate 3, haikyuu, one piece, jujustu kaisen, detective comics (dc), marvel comics (but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!)

i do also accept polyam relationships! (pairing + reader), up to about four people! just to make it manageable on my end!

all orders can be made to the inbox for @bunnys-kisses and i'll get your order together asap! also let me know if you want it extra sweet or a little more spicy !

mille-feuille: “that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”

butter tart: "let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."

sugar pie: “gonna let daddy hear ya?”

zebra cake: "well, what do we have here?"

carrot cake: "swallow it. all of it."

millionaire shortcake: "if they saw you now, you'd be the biggest shame to your family."

pots de crème: "if a picture is worth a thousand words, then i could probably get a million dollars for this photo."

oat flapjacks: "i'm not scared of you."

persian rolls: "it's mandatory i finish. you getting to finish is a treat."

spice pie: "i didn't know it was possible to be a liar and a slut."

mushroom pie: "if you don't shut up. i'm going to shut you up."

lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making."

swiss roll: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."

pumpkin pie: "i've met strays who were more obedient."

pastry braid: "your job is to make me cum. now get to work."

sausage roll: "i wonder how much i could get for photos of this cunt."

pithivier: "if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you."

tiramisu: “my little slut to ruin.”

sponge toffee: "aw, is someone mad that they can only cum because of me?"

pull-apart bread: "i love you"

powered sugar donuts: "marry me."

blueberry bars: “gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.”

pudding chomeur: "i don't share."

ice cream bars: “did you see the way he was eyeing you? he need to know you're mine."

chocolate cake: "do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."

soufflé: "i'll be gentle."

fried dough: "i know virginity is a stupid concept... but i want to take yours."

apple pie: "now be good and beg. thank you."

vanilla cheesecake: "where are your manners?"

berry trifle: "wrong. try again."

maple cream pie: "either you wear the necklace with my name on it, or wear my bruises around your neck."

s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?"

belgian waffles: "i cum in that every night."

pancakes: "if you bite me. i'll bite you back."

loaf of whole wheat bread: "you're going to shut that mouth and take me."

jos louis: "does someone need a daddy?"

maple taffy: "oh my god you're stupid."

snowballs: "don't worry, drug tests aren't till next week."

shortbread cookies: "and who does this belong to?"

flan: "i'm not possessive... i'm obsessive."

peach cake: "if you spill a drop, we start all over."

angel food cake: "if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."

red velvet cupcake: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."

mince pie: "i'm not jealous."

banana bread: "i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name."

crumb cake: "if you just listened, all of this could've been avoided."

chocolate chip cookies: "you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat"

nanaimo bars: "who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."

coffee cake: "knees. now."

sourdough bread: "i'm going to breed you."

blueberry muffins: "i don't think it'll fit."

pound cake with strawberries: "you know i hate going over rules, but just because i like seeing you embarrassed, i'll tell you them again."

croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

crepe: "pretty girl."

french toast: "you're trying to make me jealous!"

churros: "if you don't shut that little mouth of yours, i will stuff it full. okay?"

shortbread squares: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."

savory pastry: "let your brother find out."

sweet pastry: "i'll make it all better."

eclairs: "the family's precious little girl. under me like a slut."

boston cream pie: "yeah, i'll use protection."

bagel: “gonna paint you with my teeth.”

crostata: “stupid slut, this is what you wanted huh? wanted me to fuck you like i hate you.”

tres leches: "i wonder if your brother know i cum in you."

peanut butter bars: “scratch me, bite me, just mark me sweetheart. show them I’m yours.”

eton mess: "be careful. your breath smells like cum."

scones: "but what if they see us!"

english muffin: "aw, is someone crying?"

honey cruller: "i forget how small you are sometimes."

banana split: "don't look at me like that."

beer brownies: "stick your tongue out anymore and you'll look like a dog."

fudge: "your father is pissing me off."

sticky toffee pudding: "the only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."

hot cross buns: "don't hide your face from me. i'd hate to have to tie you up."

brownies: "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."

chocolate mousse: "the only necklace you need is my hand around your throat"

tim bits: "stupid little thing."

fruitcake: "i'll make tonight special."

cornmeal muffin: "i need you most."

devil's food cake: "you're my most unhealthy obsession."

crème caramel: "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?"

banana & chocolate muffins: "i'm only doing this because you need to learn how to behave, rules are rules, and you need to follow them."

custard tart: "i've never done this before."

cinnamon rolls: "no one needs to know."

mango sorbet: "you are by far the dumbest thing i've ever fucked. how did they even let you graduate?"

date squares: "you look better with my marks on you."

figgy duff: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"

spicy upside down cake: "let's play a game: don't get caught."

cream puffs: "let me finish inside."

profiteroles: "come away with me. for a week, together. anywhere you want, we'll go."

with a side of:

coffee: rivals

tea: semi-public/public sex

juice: cockwarming

mocha coffee: breeding kink

bubble tea: daddy kink

a vodka shot: rough sex

sparkling water: gentle sex

coconut water: alternate universe

energy drink: doggy style

champagne: sugar daddy situation

hard lemonade: possessive behaviour

espresso shot: dirty talking

a glass of wine: cowgirl position

ice capp coffee: werewolf au

bloody mary: vampire au

martini: mafia au

frozen latte: dumbification

frozen lemonade: consensual non-consent

cranberry juice: mean!character

glass of water: aftercare

chocolate milk: tenderness

milkshake: size kink

pina colada: pregnancy

cider: body worship

mai tai: loss of virginity

margarita: unprotected sex

mint julep: punishments

chai: biting/hickies

earl grey: big cock

fishbowl cocktail: protected sex

tonic water: age gap

matcha latte: collars/bondage

root beer: filming/recording

soda: jealousy

americano: oral sex

whisky: degrading language

vitamin water: dom/sub dynamic

irish coffee: high sex

sangria: drunk sex

dark roast coffee: sub!character

dark hot chocolate: sub!reader

iced tea: accidentally launching relationship

lemon water: university/college au

naked & famous: bimbo/ditzy!reader

on the house: author's choice!

ORDER UP!

[luveline]

spencer one shot where he’s angry at somebody else [bc he so does look so kissable when he’s angry >:(] maybe someone at one of the precincts they’re working at said something rude about r and he defends u and maybe he gets a lil kiss <3

im thinking “this is calm and it’s doctor” vibes bc that scene does things to me 😭

ty for requesting ♡ fem, 1.1k

cw for sexual harassment

"Jesus," Spencer says, rushing to stand behind you as you bend over. 

"Mm?" you hum. You're fishing for your dropped change unsuccessfully by the precinct vending machines. "They have your chips, did you see?" 

"Your pants are ripped," Spencer says, hand ghosting your thigh. 

"What?" you ask, shooting up. You turn on the spot to hide, hand leaping back. You feel at the seam. "Where?" 

"Top of your thigh." 

"Shit, really? Can you see my–" 

"Yeah," he says, meeting your wide eyes while you locate the rip. "How did you do that?" He laughs. 

"Don't laugh!" you demand, though you're giggling as you do, hand covering your thigh and the bottom of your butt inefficiently. 

"Do you want my jacket?" 

"Don't cover it up, toots." 

You and Spencer both blink. There's a crowd of grinning beat cops by the door of the cafeteria who've obviously witnessed your misdemeanour. "Toots?" Spencer asks. 

"Sorry, boys, that's the end of the show," you say with a grin. Not because you particularly enjoy having been oggled, but it's always been like this. Men will always make weird comments to you, and you've learned to play nice until they're out of your jurisdiction. 

"Turn back around," one says bravely, though you aren't sure which one. 

Spencer stands in front of you subtly. "Do you know that thirty eight percent of women experience sexual harassment in the workplace?" he asks, quick but measured. "Thirty eight percent, but I'm sure a much smaller number of those women are federal agents, and a smaller number again have the capacity to break your arm. I've seen her give serial killers radial fractures. I've seen her do worse." 

"We were just messing around," one says. 

"No need to get defensive," says another. "Don't get mad, boy." 

"I am defensive, but I'm not mad."

His tone attracts the attention of a precinct sergeant who barks at them to stop messing around and get back to work. "Were they bothering you?" he asks after they've filtered out with their heads down. 

"No," you say swiftly. "Everything's fine." 

Spencer frowns, worse when the sergeant leaves, turning to you to take your hand. A few weeks ago at a company picnic, when the sun was high and your spirits comparatively lower, you'd apologised to him for flirting. You love to flirt and especially with him, puppy eyed Spencer with his head of brown hair and his big brain, but some of the team suggested you were taking it too far. You apologised, but Spencer didn't really get what you were saying sorry for and took your hand to lead you out of the sun. He protects you. 

"You okay?" he asks. 

"I'm fine." 

"You sure?" His voice fries. 

"I'm sure," you say. His hand is an interesting thing on yours. He has long, long fingers that seem to possess their own willpower, moving even as they're sewn through yours. "I don't know what to do about my pants." 

Spencer's eyebrows pinch together. "Well, I'll take care of that. I'll find you something. I can't believe those as–" 

"Oh," you interrupt, taking your hand back in want of a better thing to hold, his cheek a mix of soft and scratchy against your palm. "You're still mad." 

"I'm not mad," he insists, though eventually he relents, "Alright, I'm angry that they'd think it was okay to objectify you." 

"What else?" you ask, letting your voice drop in pitch, the sound smooth as angora silk. 

"I'm thinking about if I hadn't been here." 

"I can protect myself," you murmur, endeared by the heat in his gaze. "You said it yourself, handsome. Radial fractures." 

"You shouldn't have to." 

"We both already know that," you say, the side of your hand slipping down his cheek reverently. He squints gently, his lashes dark triangles, his irises a browned sugar. His jaw clenches under your touch. "You're handsome." 

"Right now?" he asks dryly. 

"Are you handsome right now?" 

"Are you really flirting with me right now?" 

"Why wouldn't I be?" You draw a line under his ear whisper soft to curl a longer strand of his hair around the tip. "You look hot when you're winning." 

"What did I win?" he asks, like he doesn't want to know. 

You grin at him, stickying. "Would you like an itemised list?" you ask, rising on tiptoes to speak into the shell of his ear. "What do you think you deserve, handsome? For such a fearless defence?" 

He's not immune to your whims, but he is used to them, planting his hands on your shoulders to ease you back on sure footing. "I don't want anything. I'll always defend you." 

"Can I give you a small token of my gratitude, at least?" 

His pinking cheeks practically emanate heat. "We don't have time for this," he says regretfully, "I still have to find you a coverup." 

"Just a small token," you say. 

He hums and haws. "Alright. Okay, whatever you want." 

"You sure?" 

He nods once, his jaw working with something unsaid. You touch his neck, fingertips trailing along the underside of his jaw until you're sure it's what he wants before you brace your hands behind his head and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, close enough that the corner of his lips align with yours but don't overlap. His neck is hot in your hands, his hair soft, his breath hooking as you lift your lips just a touch and your nose digs into his cheek. "Thank you, Spencer," you whisper. 

He pulls you closer. 

You shudder as his hand presses into the small of your back, wondering what it is he wants to do. His fingers spread. Your thoughts turn to white noise. Like he can sense it, he breathes out and steps away, but any sense of urgency is gone. 

"As much as I might tease, I really do need some pants," you say. "I'm not very interested in anyone else seeing my panties today." 

He rushes off to find you something and you press the backs of your fingers to your cheeks, feeling the heat there with a resigned embarrassment. He has no idea how much power he has over you, in his stony anger and his eager reception. The phantom of his hand warms your back until he returns, his sweater in hand. "Sorry, this is it." 

"If you want me to wear your clothes, just say so." 

"Hotch is pretty pissed at us." 

"Ah," you sigh, tying his sweater around your waist, "another day in paradise, baby." 

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hi, I love your writing! Are you still taking requests? What about a villain finding out his fav hero is actually an robot?

The hero went missing briefly and in their reunion his systems start to panic, the villain attempt to help? And finds out there is grey metal under his mask? Not skin?

"Oh," the villain said, soft. "Oh, I see."

"See what?" The hero stayed turned away, head bowed, frantically trying to shield his face. "Don't look at me. Just - what are you doing here?"

"I came to rescue you."

"R-rescue me?"

The villain stepped closer into the hero's cell. Heat radiated off the hero's back and, well. The villain pressed a finger to the back of the hero's neck; where the skin had burnt away, revealing the cold grey of metal and circuitry.

The hero gasped and whirled.

His face was - well, it was fried from the few short days he'd spent missing, captured. Where his enemies had tried to bruise him, bleed him, there were caved in spaces that revealed yet more metal. The hint of a perfect silver skull. Veins which throbbed with electricity instead of blood. Even one of the hero's eyes were gone, replaced by the startling blue of a machine staring back. Well, they were always blue but...so muffled, before, compared to what the villain looked at then.

The two of them stared at each other.

"You can't tell anyone," the hero said.

"I always thought you were too impossibly good to be true," the villain replied. "Too flawless."

"Don't," the hero whispered.

The villain took the hero's jaw, carefully, tenderly, in their hands. "Look what a mess they've made of you. I'll kill them for it."

The hero closed the one eye that he could. He trembled, so exquisitely life-like, so exquisitely alive, in the villain's palms.

"They must have been so angry when they found out what you were," the villain said. He let his finger stroke over the ruined curve of the hero's cheek. "I'm glad I got here before they destroyed you completely."

"Why? What are you going to do with me?"

The hero took a step back.

The villain let him go, for now, studying him with fresh eyes. More and more puzzle pieces clicked into place. "Do with you?"

"I'm not human."

"You're beautiful."

"I'm not - if people know -"

"I've never heard you talk like that before. System overload?"

The hero shook his head. Something sparked. "You're d-dodging the question."

"Well," the villain said, evenly. "I was going to take you out of here. Clean up your wounds at my place. That sort of thing. I could probably makeshift the kind of specialist support you currently need in my lab, but I imagine you have a much better set up at home. So I guess I'm taking you home. If that's okay with you."

"Home," the hero echoed. He stood frozen.

"Home."

"You're not mad? Mad? Mad?" The hero managed to jerk to a halt. He heaved a ragged, shuddering breath.

"No."

"I'm not human. You came to rescue a human. Human." The hero shoved a hand over his mouth. The tremors were more forceful than before.

If the villain touched him again, he would be fever hot, wouldn't he?

The villain shrugged.

"I don't understand," the hero said.

"Unsurprising. You're not running at full capacity right now, are you? So shall we pick this up again when you're out of here? And feeling a bit better? It would be tragic if I came all this way just for you to overheat in front of me."

The hero stared some more. The blue eye contracted and expanded, whirring noiselessly. The villain wished he knew what kind of diagnostics the hero was running. How it all worked. He wanted to know everything.

His brain, such as it was, must surely be the most gorgeous thing.

He'd always wanted to know how the hero ticked but this...oh, this. He held out a hand and smiled.

"It's a relief, actually," the villain said. "I'm not mad. Now. Let's get you back in your mask, shall we?"

By the time the repairs were done, it was impossible to tell. It was extraordinary. Giddying. A love letter to the best that people could be.

And the hero looked shattered by the truth of it.

[concreteangel92]

Hey there! It's blend-in-with-the-madness 🙂

Thank you for offering to write something!

The BDSM Noah moodboard has really fried my brain so I'm not sure what I want to request exactly haha. Surprise me! Since this one is the birthday present, I'm sure Noah would do something amazing and very smutty for my birthday, uh the reader's birthday of course ��

For the Halloween one, Noah and reader go to a costume party. Reader has been a brat all day and she's being extra bratty during the party. Noah takes her into a bathroom for quick little edging "punishment" and he says they'll finish at home only if she behaves. She pushes his buttons and says she'd like to see what he'll do if she doesn't behave. 😏 I'll let you take it from here!

For the Halloween costume part, Deadpool and Wolverine have been living rent free in my head since I saw the movie lol so... I think Noah would look great in the Deadpool costume (mask kink honestly) and reader is wearing this (https://imgur.com/a/eRxVUxX) a Wolverine themed dress for easy access during the party and maybe after the party too

Thank you again for offering to write! No rush on these at all! 🙂🫶

Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Warnings: brat taming, dom/sub relationship, fingering, remote controlled vibrator, semi public?, mean!dom Noah, I think that’s about it haha

I’m so sorry this has taken so long to get up but I hope it was worth the wait for you!! ☺️

First part of the request is here

* You’ve been a huge brat all day. I’m taking back chatting, being sassy for no reason and just over all winding Noah up just because you could

* You could tell Noah was taking it all in, even if he hasn’t said anything, you knew you’d eventually pay the price

* “you better behave yourself at this party”

* “Don’t I always?”

* Noah would just give you a glare in response “I mean it, if you act up tonight then there will be serious consequences”

* You nodded to keep him quiet but in your head, you knew you were far from done.

* Later that night you were both dressed for the Halloween party you were attending

* Noah was dressed as Deadpool and you were a female wolverine

* Seeing Noah in the mask was a huge kink of yours, one of the reasons you’d suggested this as your couples costume

* Once at the party, you allowed Noah to think that you were behaving, it was only a couple hours later that you started to push his buttons once again

* If you were grabbing a drink, you’d only get one for yourself and when he asked where his was, your response was “you have legs, get it yourself”

* You’d make small jokes at his expense in front of his friends and talk over him during the conversation

* Not being able to hide the small smirk on your face when you would catch the look he was clearly giving you through the mask

* What tipped him over the edge was when he caught you chatting to some random guy who was talking to you and when you saw his gaze, you playfully put your hand on this guys arm when you laughed at his poor attempt at a joke

* Seeing Noah shaking his head was all the confirmation you needed that he was extremely pissed off

* You made your excuses to this guy and went upstairs to the bathroom

* You let out a small shriek when you felt someone push you inside and slam the door before locking it

* “You really have been a disobedient girl tonight, what the fuck was that?”

* You looked up at him innocently “what do you mean?”

* “You know exactly what I mean, you’ve gone too far tonight so let me remind you of who you belong to”

* The next thing you knew, Noah had flipped your dress up, pushed your underwear to the side and he had his gloved fingers knuckle deep inside your dripping cunt, relentlessly working your body like a violin as you felt your high building

* He’d pulled his mask off at this point, it was thrown next to where you were sitting up on the counter

* “I can feel you clenching down on me, getting close baby?”

* You moaned out a choked “yes”

* For Noah to then bring his fingers away, leaving you staring wide eyed at him

* “Too bad, only good girls get to finish. If you start behaving then I’ll make sure you finish later”

* Feeling extremely annoyed at being edged, you couldn’t stop yourself from saying “and what if I don’t?”

* Noah stood back and glared down at you, he blinked at you a couple times before he reached into one of the pockets of his costume

* “I had a feeling I’d have to be prepared for your back chatting mouth”

* He pulled out the remote controlled vibrator you owned and held it up to your face, your attitude swiftly changed when you realised what he was about to do

* “What’s the matter angel? Don’t feel like running that mouth of yours now?”

* He then pulled your underwear down your thighs so he could push the toy inside of you, your walls instantly gripping onto it

* “Now, you will keep this in for the rest of the party and take what I give you. Don’t even think of taking it out until we are home. Do you understand me?”

* Noah had put your underwear and dress back in place and had caged you in by putting his arms on the sides around you, his tall frame looking almost intimidating as he leaned over you

* “Answer me”

* “Yes sir”

* Noah smirked and stood back up and reached for his mask

* “Good, you can behave”

* Once he’d put his mask back on, he unlocked the door and gestured for you to go out in front of him

* You could fully feel the vibrator as you walked

* It was as you were walking down the hallway that you suddenly felt your knees nearly buckle as the vibrator buzzed to life, sending shock waves throughout your body

* “Shit!”

* You turned around and saw that Noah had his phone in his hand and waved it casually

* “Brats need to be punished”

* And for the rest of the party, he certainly made sure you were learning your lesson

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get some juicy content or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor. It does seem to confirm he kept the Inquisitor’s arm aaaand I love him your honour.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

—> edit to say that I do notice and enjoy the codex entries, callbacks to Tevinter Nights, Masked Empire, the older games. I wish that care and detail was woven into the main story and overall end product and not just background fluff. I know others are satisfied with those additions, wish that were me. I saw a tweet saying that every callback to a previous game or storyline actually pissed them off even more lol, I relate.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[kalifornia1025]

As a Gravity Falls fan, I am both in pain and thriving! (Does that make sense?)

My brain is fried from eating up all the new content found on thisisnotawebsitedotcom. Some keywords I was able to guess on my own, others I had to get help from the 'Dippers/Fords' of the fandom aka the ones who are GODS at secret codes - I wish I had this ability :')

I'm also rewatching the show and reading all the books (FINALLY, I HAVE MY OWN ADULT MONEY TO BUY THEM). I just need the content so badly!

But it's making me ask the biggest question: why is Alex Hirsch doing this?? It can't be for a Gravity Falls season 3 announcement like everyone's saying because...

Gravity Falls had a perfect ending (shush, it was)

Alex is NOT hiding his hatred for Disney, so there's no chance they're working together again

So what is this all for? Is there SOME type of announcement coming soon? Is this all just promotion for the book? Or has Alex lived long enough to become the mad villain he was destined to be and decided to do this out of sadistic pleasure for our madness?

Whatever the real answer is...I missed this! I haven't felt this obsessed with anything since back when the show was airing new episodes!

Gravity Falls fandom, we are BACK from the DEAD!!

[ggjunkie]

Heavenly Hazards

Chapter 6

“You gonna eat that?”

With a mouthful of unchewed food, Adam gestures toward your plate, his eyes fixed expectantly on your meal. The burger you ordered, despite its undoubtedly delicious flavor, lies largely untouched as you've found yourself lacking the appetite to indulge fully. Instead, you spend the time absentmindedly rearranging the fries on your plate, the clinking of your fork against your plate filling the brief silence between bites.

You hesitate, a fleeting expression of annoyance crossing your features. With a half-hearted glare, you shake your head in response before pushing the plate toward him. Already having devoured his own meal and now contentedly nibbling on the complimentary bread, Adam wastes no time in inhaling your meal. While you understand his large appetite, specifically after an energy-draining performance like the one he just delivered, you can help but feel unimpressed with his date-night manners. Or whatever you can call this.

"So," Adam begins, his words punctuated by a loud smack as he takes another bite. "Did you enjoy the concert?"

His question is predictable, dripping with a self-serving undertone that does little to disguise his own ego's thirst for validation. It still stings that this is the first question he asks and it's about him.

"It was... certainly loud," you reply nonchalantly, refusing to grant him the satisfaction of your praise.

Adam chuckles, clearly amused by your attempt at evading his question. "Oh, don't be coy, bitch" he retorts. "I saw you headbanging along. Surprised I didn't hear the rattle of your tiny ass brain."

You suppress a sigh, thinning your lips in annoyance as he cackles at his own joke.

"Seriously though, did you like it?" he presses, his tone shifting to a more earnest curiosity.

"Yeah, you did good, I guess," you concede, not wanting to feed his ego any further.

At your admission, Adam's demeanor undergoes a sudden transformation, his excitement bubbling to the surface like a switch being flipped. "Yeah? You had fun? You better have, since I gave you a free ticket and all. Don't expect that to happen again, slut. Unless you rock my world tonight. In which case, feel free to take a VIP pass"

Ignoring his rambling, you redirect the conversation to a topic that's been nagging at the back of your mind. "Yeah, which reminds me. Why did you give me a ticket in the first place?"

"Saw you talking to Saint Peter. You're real pretty," Adam confesses, a hint of sincerity softening his typically brash demeanor. Despite your frustration, a blush creeps across your cheeks at the unexpected compliment.

"And you’ve got a nice rack” There it is… “So I slipped you a ticket. Don't think I forgot you skipped out on the first one, though. I'm still mad about that. I had to track you down to give you a second. Good thing I peeped through your file. You can totally make it up to me tonight though," he adds, his tone playful yet tinged with a hint of expectation.

"Okay, stop. You're being gross," you retort, attempting to brush off his suggestive remarks.

"No need to be a virgin-slut. Some bitches would kill to be watching me eat," Adam remarks casually, oblivious to your discomfort. "Which, by the way, why aren’t you eating? Trying to waste my money, you bitch?"

"No, I'm sorry, I just..." you start, searching for a plausible excuse. "I just didn't like the food."

"Why didn't you say so? I can buy you whatever. Pasta? Lobster?" Adam offers.

"Lobster?" you cringe, taken aback by the extravagance. "Isn't that too expensive?"

"I can buy whatever. I could buy this whole restaurant and force them to make you your favorite food," he boasts, taking a large bite of your burger before continuing, "Do you want that?"

"No, I'm just not hungry," you reply, growing increasingly exasperated with the conversation.

"Ah, now I'm starting to get it. Someone's nervous," Adam teases, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

At this point, irritation prickles beneath your skin, fueled by Adam's relentless ability to push your buttons. "Okay, and so what if I am?" you retort sharply, your frustration evident in your tone. "You're apparently some big hotshot who's trying to get into my pants."

For a rare moment, Adam falls uncharacteristically silent.. Then, bouncing back, he responds, "...is it working?"

Your groan echoes loudly in the space, a mixture of exasperation and disbelief. Fortunately, the perfectly-timed arrival of the waiter to refill your drinks provides a welcomed distraction. Adam, ever the not-so-subtle opportunist, coughs loudly and gestures toward the waiter, silently urging you to consider ordering something else.

But you're not about to let Adam have the upper hand in this game.

"Excuse me," you announce firmly, flashing a wide grin as you catch Adam's waiting stare, "I think we're ready for our check." The waiter nods briskly and hurries off, leaving the two of you alone once more. As you steal a glance at Adam, his expression mirrors that of a triumphant cat who's just snagged a canary.

"Didn't know you were that ready for dessert," he quips, a smug smirk playing at his lips.

“Oh shut up!”

“Well, only if you—" Adam begins, but his sentence is abruptly interrupted by a wide yawn, his mouth full of food on display. "Man, I think eating so much has gotten me tired. We might have to postpone, babe. Maybe that'll even get you going—having to work for it," he chuckles, his tone teasing but sincere. He yawns again, eyes watering at the sensation. "Seriously though, we gotta call a rain check. I have a fat nap waiting for me."

Before you can respond, he continues, "But before you go, I figured we’d need to keep in touch."

With a flourish of his hand, Adam's fingers dance through the air with a grace that seems almost impossible for him. In a moment of astonishment, you watch as his movements conjure forth what appears to be a scroll, materializing out of thin air before your very eyes. The parchment unfurls in an elegant display, revealing intricate markings that shimmer with an ethereal glow.

But as your gaze lingers on the scroll, a strange realization dawns upon you—it's not a relic from ancient times, but rather… a phone?

Your jaw nearly hits the floor in shock as Adam casually enters his contact information. He hands it over, making sure his hand purposefully grazes over yours. You find yourself utterly flabbergasted by the realization that he has just gifted you a free phone.

“What the fu–”

"Welp!" Adam exclaims. With another dramatic flourish of his hand, a portal bursts open before you, crackling with wild golden sparks that dance in the air. "See ya!" he calls out cheerfully, giving you a playful shove toward the swirling vortex.

Before you can even protest or fully comprehend what's happening, you're hurtling through the portal, the world around you blurring into a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations. The rush of wind whips past you, and for a heart-stopping moment, you feel weightless, untethered to reality. It’s the same sort of adrenaline you get when you spread your wings and soar, except this makes you feel like you’re going to hurl.

And then, just as suddenly as it began, the chaos subsides, and you find yourself standing on your front porch, the familiar sights and sounds of home greeting you like an old friend. The portal vanishes behind you, leaving nothing but an upset stomach in its wake.

You take a moment to catch your breath, your heart still pounding from the unexpected journey. Glancing back at the spot where the portal once stood, you can't help but shake your head in amazement.

Thoughtlessly and still reeling from the whirlwind encounter with Adam, you go through the motions of heading inside and preparing for bed. Each step feels almost robotic, your mind still processing the surreal events of the evening as if in a haze.

Finally settled beneath the covers, you find yourself lying in bed, staring up at the dark expanse of the ceiling above. The events of the night replay in your mind like a vivid dream, a realization barrelling to the front of your mind with startling clarity.

You had fun.

Without conscious thought, your hand drifts to the bedside table, fingers curling around the sleek device Adam had gifted you. With a hesitant breath, you pull out the phone, its screen illuminating the dimly lit room with a soft glow.

For a moment, you hesitate, uncertainty gnawing at the edges of your resolve. But then, with a resigned sigh, you unlock the device and begin to scroll through your contacts, your mind buzzing with questions and possibilities.

YOU:

I’m free next weekend

ADAM:

Fuck yeah, bitch

Cum to my concert Saturday and I’ll get u another ticket

We can go out afterwards

Ur treat lol

Jk still mine u broke bitch

YOU:

It's a date

As you wait in silence, your heart flutters with anticipation, your eyes fixed on the screen as you watch the three familiar dots appear and disappear, teasing you with the promise of a response. But as moments stretch into minutes, you begin to feel a sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach.

The dots vanish completely, leaving the screen blank and devoid of any reply. A heavy silence lowers upon the room, punctuated only by the soft hum of the phone in your hand.

You wait a little longer, hoping against hope for some sign of life from the other end. But as the minutes tick by, it becomes painfully clear that no response is coming.

With a sigh of disappointment, you set the phone aside, resigning yourself to the quiet solitude of the night. As you drift off to sleep, your mind still filled with unanswered questions, you can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring—and whether Adam will be a part of it.

[bonaesperanza]

Once again I participate in the "get to know your mutuals" chain mail meme (I'm 100% this is not the correct term but my brain is really fried atm), this time I was tagged by @stripedroseandsketchpads :D I feel like I do this every two months at least so I'm kind of out of people to tag who haven't done it recently, and I've also been kind of dissociated from Tumblr due to work stress so I don't remember if I added anyone new recently :/ So whoever wants to do it, let's pretend I tagged you :D

Last song I listened to: Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - I just discovered this band! Even though it's made up of really famous people from other more famous bands! And I really like it!

Currently watching: The Borgias. So far it's... okay? I'm enjoying the character beats but the actual plotty plot (i.e. the politics and wars) is so slowly paced and overly linear. They seem really scared of the audience not getting it so they only allow one plotty thing to be happening at any given time, and they make sure to spell everything out at least once per episode. Which is... not what I'm used to in my historical political drama (quite the opposite in fact!). Perhaps I could have benefited from this approach if it were a fantasy world or a country I don't have much to do with (I remember having to open up a map of Scotland so many times while reading the first Lymond because they kept going from one city to the other and I didn't know where they were in relation to each other), but it's set in my own country and half of the "as you know" recaps are just basic Italian geography for the anglophone audiences lol. After the fifth time one well-educated character explains to another well-educated character that Florence is in the north-west and Naples is south of Rome, I kind of want to scream. The pronounciations are also all over the place - three guys are sitting at a table looking each other in the eyes and pronouncing "Medici" 3 incorrect ways, at least they could have streamlined it between the actors. Like far be it from me to demand proper pronounciation with the way Italians butcher English words constantly, but at least make it consistent! Luke Pasqualino is the only one pronouncing anything as it should be pronounced, and I really felt bad for him in that scene where Lucrezia keeps asking him to say her name and they're both repeating it over and over, because he's the only one pronouncing it correctly while she's saying it as if she had a mouth full of rocks. Btw my favourite Holliday Grainger fucking up the Italian scene so far is when she needs to ride breathlessly up to the French king and say a long line about her brother Juan the Gonfaloniere and basically she's supposed to repeat "Gonfaloniere" several times and you can literally see her going "my brother is the gonfalonsajkdnajsdsbaj" and making a "fuck it, whatever" expression when she gets to the complicated part. Anyway I am enjoying the show, the pronounciations make me laugh they don't make me mad. And the costumes are gorgeous!

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory or spicy, depending on the mood. I dislike sweet things.

Current Obsession: Nothing really, I've been really tangled up with RL things and am feeling vaguely anhedonic because I keep thinking about work, so it's hard to get into something haha. This is actually why I'm able to focus on the Borgias, because they have quite low bandwidth requirements (i tried to watch it before and found it slow-ish). This too shall pass I suppose :)

[early20sfailingplenty]

Sorry for my radio silence over the last few days, I've been... swept up in a mad academic frenzy putting together my final assignment of the year.

For the last three days, I have worn the same clothes (a comfort outfit), I haven't eaten any proper meals and I've just survived off crisps and other unhealthy grab-foods, I've had seven hours of sleep, I haven't even taken my hair down out of its braid unless it's to brush it and put it back up again and we know shit gets serious when I don't think to take my hair down. I have been ice cold and shaking, my brain has been fried, and I've just been constantly grinding at my final assignment.

It was a true test of my character. I have wanted to give up this year so many times but something in me couldn't do it, something in me couldn't quit. And these last three days, I really wanted to quit. I didn't even want to try. But I did it anyway. Despite all the thoughts in my head telling me there was no point, it's too late, it's all over, I failed, I kept going, I tried even when I didn't want to...

And I just submitted it, a completed assignment to the best of my ability. I took my time with it, but I worked quickly. If you can't figure out how I managed to do that, then you're not alone, because I don't know how I did it, either.

But anyway!!!

I am officially at the halfway mark of my six year psychology with counselling honours degree.

I DID IT!!!!

I am now 'free' until October!!!! I still have my job, of course, but if I'm not working, I will be writing, sleeping, finding out who Eri is under all that stress... It hasn't been easy. You've all seen my posts, you all know I have struggled this year.

But I didn't. Quit.

And that has to mean something.

Thank you all so very much for your encouragement, support, tough love, comfort, asks, comments, DMs... I appreciate you all so much. You really dragged me kicking and screaming across the finish line and I'm eternally grateful to you all. My dreams of becoming a neuropsychologist live to see another year, it seems.

Now, I'm off to watch horror films and eat pizza... even by my impossibly high self-standards, I earned it.🥰💖

[blackjackkent]

Unsurprisingly, we get into a conversation with the Emperor as soon as Ansur is dead (again).

"Ansur. I never thought I'd see him again."

Hector is spitting mad about this whole situation and not bothering to hide it. "How much more of your past are you not telling me about?"

I was assuming nobody but Wyll actually witnessed the interchange between the Emperor and Ansur, that it kind of took place inside Wyll's brain with Wyll as the conduit. So I'm also running on the assumption that Wyll - fried within an inch of his life by the whole experience - gave Hector the Cliff's Notes version right after the battle ended, and Hector is now furious as a result.

He is sick of this creature lying to him and manipulating him. He is sick of surprises. He is sick of the fact that his rapidly crumbling alliance with the Emperor still had enough weight that it required fighting a beast like Ansur rather than allying with it. How dare you? he thinks angrily. How dare you allow this to happen?

And he is doubly angry, really, that all of this madness means that he cannot properly enjoy the revelation that is happening here. The Emperor is Balduran? One of the greatest historical figures in all of Faerun? Someone he has read about countless times in his studies in the monastery library?

He feels sick with this desecration - of the dragon, of his own knowledge, of his own joy in that knowledge.

"My past is past," the Emperor answers calmly. "I concealed nothing from you. I simply left out the details that were not pertinent to our cause. But it seems you are interested in them."

Hector scowls. Once, when the Emperor was still the Guardian and Hector did not know the threat it posed, that unflappable placidity appealed to him; now he just finds it infuriating. "You literally founded Baldur's Gate," he says between his teeth, as if stating the obvious to a particularly aggravating child. "Of course I'm interested."

If you cared about me as anything more than a tool, I suspect you would know that already. Further evidence that we are right to turn from you, he thinks bitterly.

"Such sentimentality..." the illithid says disdainfully. "Very well."

(A/N: Another flashback sequence!)

"It's like I always told you. I was just like you. An adventurer who yearned for greatness. And in mortal terms, I achieved it. As captain of the Wandering Eye, I acquired enough gold to found Baldur's Gate. I stayed for a while to watch my city grow, but it was not enough."

"I grew restless again. The sea called to me, and I ran to her with open arms. Life at sea was not easy. Our last adventure was ruinous. My ship was destroyed, my crew lost, but my spirit was far from broken. I was determined to return in triumph once again. I heard of treasure in Moonrise. I strove to find it."

"What I found was an illithid colony, where I acquired a tadpole much like yours and became a mind flayer, enthralled to the Elder Brain."

"It was Ansur who found me, Ansur who pulled me from the brain's domination, Ansur who brought me home. He sought to cure me of my sickness, called on every healer he could find, nearly broke his spirit in the attempt."

"But he failed to understand - I wanted no healing. I was not sick."

Hector listens to this impassively. It tells him little he did not already know, but fills in extra details in the tapestry. And again he feels that spark of rage that he cannot enjoy this moment of learning, that it comes wrapped in agony and fear. "Ansur. Stelmane," he says coldly. "Do your allies always die?"

"Stelmane's death was not my fault," the Emperor snaps. "Ansur's death was born of necessity. And make no mistake - I grieve them both." It shrugs, turns away. "Even after he had exhausted all possibility of reversing my condition, he still clung to hope. I tried to convince him of my reality - I was on the cusp of greatness beyond my wildest dreams. But all he could see was a mind flayer."

A long pause. Its voice lowers. "He came to me as I slept - a mercy killing, in his mind. I saw the tears. I felt his grief. I had no choice but to kill him first. It was an act of self-preservation."

Because you wished to remain a monster. "Is being an illithid really worth the loss of a friend?" Hector asks flatly.

The Emperor matches his tone, its lavender eyes narrowing to slits. "Put simply - yes. And being alive is even more so. Do not think that I am ignorant of what I have lost. I may not regret my actions, but I do regret that they were necessary." It shakes its head in a sharp motion heavy with finality. "While the past is beyond my influence, the present is not. It is time we move on."

It vanishes in a burst of light, swallowed back up by the Prism.

[daughterofhecata]

Tagged by @wodkapudding - thank you! Love doing these and love reading them too!

Rules: Answer the questions below and then tag people you want to get to know better/catch up with to do the same.

Last song: Madeline Juno - Waldbrand (up there with Megaherz - Amnesie as songs I've been really craving today)

Currently watching: Uuuuuh, I guess I'm still somewhat in the middle of rewatching Tatort Berlin - Das Leben nach dem Tod but rn it's not looking very likely that I'll continue that any time soon.

Favourite colour: dark colours in general + olive green

Last movie: rewatched Kingsman a while ago when my brain was too fried for anything else

Currently reading: Sofies Welt, which is why I'm probably not going to reach my goal of 10 books per month this month. But so far it's very interesting and I'm a bit mad at the friend (i don't remember which one tho) who told me years ago not to read it because it was boring and difficult. Also started Drei ??? - Schattenwelt tho, for when I need something less brain- and note-intense xD

Sweet, spicy or savoury: depends on the day

Relationship status: single and very much not looking to change that. crush or no crush

Current obsession: somehow managed to get myself Justus/Victor brainrot again. Opening Feuermond to check something was a mistake.

Last googled: Beelitz Heilstätten

Currently working on: as usual too many fics (not very actively tho rn) and in a second also making dinner. Should also start planning for the the Writer's Month Prompts, but so far the month has been Intense and I need some time to breathe first.

Tagging: uuuuuh. idk. please just pretend I tagged you if you wanna ramble on any of these questions? I *really* need to start dinner xD

[nerdypixel]

Wow... Just wow. Like what the fuck...

I am listening right now through The Magnus Archives Episode 78 onwards and what the actual... I don't know if I can sleep tonight.

It's just so creepy and so... So real? Really disconcerting. But I cannot stop listening, because it's just so good and so earie and I want to hug Jon so bad.

I want to draw some of it too. But I don't know if you can even capture this level of uneasiness on paper. It doesn't help that I am already sleep deprived. My theater of the mind is getting really strong right now.

If I don't draw much this week it will be because I fried my brain. I'm learning new words though, so that's a positive. I can assure that when I finished listening to this mad play, I will have a vulcanic explosion of creativity again. And little sleep...

Just needed to write my thoughts about that down somewhere.

[myown-worstenemy-2003]

Good Directions (Steve Harrington)

A/N: Hey y'all! Here is another Steve Harrington fic that my brain came up with! I had this in my head for a while and I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it but here it is! Anyway! I hope you enjoy it! PS: Pretty please don't copy my work! I worked hard on this and I will cry! Thank you! :) <3 PPS: I have no idea why I'm on a country music kick either, it's not what I usually listen to. So we're just not gonna talk about it :)

Summary: Based on the song "Good Directions" by Billy Currington

Word Count: 721

It was a hot summer day in Southern Illinois. The sun was blazing but someone had to keep the small community stocked up on their local fruits. So there you were sitting under an umbrella in the shade trying to keep cool. You had been entertaining yourself by watching as the cars drove by, but right now you found yourself snacking on Cheeto Puffs and reading a book that just came out, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. 

You started a new chapter when a car pulled up. You didn’t recognize the car, even when you read the license plate that read ‘H4R1T0N’.

When the person got out of the car, you knew that you didn’t know them, because you didn’t know anyone this pretty.

The man got out of the car and came around to your fruit stand. You stand up and greet him with a smile, “Hi there! Whatcha lookin’ to get today?”

He smiled back at you. 

Holy shit that is gorgeous.

“Uh, I’m not really here for anything I was wondering if you could give me some directions? I got turned around and I’m looking for the Interstate.”

“Oh! Well, it’s a good thing that you found me because I am the woman for the job!” you answered almost kind of disappointed.

You point in a direction, “So if you go way up yonder, go past the caution light,” he nodded along listening intently.

“Okay so you pass the caution light, there’s a little country store with an old Coke sign,” he looked like he was writing down everything you said in his mind.

“You gotta stop and ask Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea,” you said, it threw him off because he looked confused.

“Gotta get a drink and maybe a snack for the road! But after Miss Bell’s, a left will take you to the interstate…” you stopped for a second, thinking if you really were brave enough to say this, fuck it, “but a right will bring you right back here to me.”

You said with a smile on your face. He smiled, “Thank you very much, Miss…”

“(Y/N),” you told him, “Just (Y/N). It was my pleasure to be of service.”

Well, I hope you get more business (Y/N),” he told you with a smile on his face.

“Thank you. I hope you don’t get lost again,” you told him as he was getting into his car. He laughed and got in. He honked as he left and you waved.

You sat back down in your lawn chair. Thinking about his beautiful brown eyes, perfectly tousled brown hair, and his pink lips…

“God damn it, (Y/N)! Didn’t even get his name! What the hell!” you yelled into the open fields and highway.

You sat back down, still mad. It could have been love.

You looked over at your red Ford that has been around since before you were born. You knew that it couldn’t run him down. He probably didn’t like me anyway.

So you picked up your Cheeto Puffs and went to self-wallowing. 

After a half-an-hour of sitting in there and helping one customer, your 3rd-grade teacher Mrs. Crane, you saw another car coming your way. It looked familiar but not in a way that you saw it all the time. 

Holy shit.

The heat has to be playing tricks on you now because that looks like the car of that hunk!

As he came to a stop and got out, you stood up, “Well hey there stranger! Didn’t expect to see you back so soon.”

He smiled and walked up to you holding two large styrofoam cups and he handed you one. 

“What’s this?” you asked.

“Well, I took your advice and I went way up yonder past the caution light. I don’t know why, but something felt right when I stopped and asked Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea,” he told you with a grin on his face.

“So your Mama,” he paused to give you a knowing smile, “gave me a big glass and another for you and sent me right back here to you.”

“Well thank God for good directions, and the fruit stand.

“How did you find your way back here?”

“...I asked your mom for directions.”

[burritosandpeppermint]

Yesterday I was having a real hard time because I was sleep deprived and it was my last day off for the weekend before a five day work week and I wanted to read and write so, so much, but my brain was fried and I was mad. I eventually journaled about it, giving myself a refreshing release from my own bullshit and I was actually able to do just a little writing and some reading, but just a little.

And now I'm working (I swear!) and feeling a very specific kind of despair.

I'm not saying that things would have definitely worked out differently, but I have, in some way or another, been artistic or creative at various periods of my life. For 20 years I just didn't really bother because I thought I just couldn't, or at least not in any way that would satisfy me. But now I'm doing it again and I love it! Except it's conditional: I work best when I've had good sleep and I've got the morning to focus on it. Unfortunately for most weekdays that's my prime job-working time. Once I'm done with work I'm pretty tired mentally and I just don't have enough to devote to my own creativity.

The very specific kind of despair I'm feeling is when I think about how many other people have had their artistic expression and their creativity squashed or shoved aside because they had to work in some way that diverted their energies elsewhere, limiting the time they could work on projects they liked. And I know this isn't something that every artist has gone through, that there are those who burn the candle at both ends and find a way to make a living while pursuing their passions, but I just don't have it in me, and I know that I'm not alone. Maybe if I was in my 20s, maybe, but I'm officially more than halfway through my 40s and my energy is just not what it used to be.

So I'll turn back to work now, using my brain to try to find creative ways to tell people that no, they can't do that, and they should do this, and then I'll do it again, and again, and again, while my digital folders of half-finished work sit on some cloud server getting more digital dust on them.

[kamiversee]

okay, i calmed down a bit. holy shit what a chapter. this chapter is possibly one of the most intense chapters you've posted yet, if not the most. the only other chapters that immediately come to mind in terms of emotional intensity are the ones including Gojo's tearful confession and the chapter with the "last kiss." this chapter devastated me on a completely different level. the drama had me reeling and i loved it so fucking much. well done, Kami. really well done.

i'm going to try to not sound like a broken record since you already know my immediate thoughts based off of my past few anons 😭 it's so interesting that Choso immediately goes to call Geto's brother shitty, yet later on in the chapter Geto refers to them at friends. Choso's denials are believable since he does seem like a major introvert and only really goes out of his way to socialize with the reader, but i wonder if we'll ever meet Kenjaku in this fic. or is this a sneak peak as to who we may meet in a certain sequel...? 👀👀👀 KAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! why do i feel like you're going to draw some parallels between Suguru and his brother's relationship to Choso's relationship with Sukuna. i'm not sure how it would go, but if you do choose to do that i feel like it would floor me.

i love that this chapter is unveiling so much of Choso's toxicity holy shit. i know it's all related to his possessive nature, but the anger issues had me taking breaks and walking laps in my room at 1:30 am on a work night. the way he's upset about things we aren't even aware of (how "flirtatious" we come off in a regular conversation) was expected but the way it built up to him exploding was just *chef's kiss*. the way still calls us little pet names, especially after that huge fight, stung me.

not only did this chapter reveal so much about Choso, but it really does solidify how toxic the reader is for him as well. there's no such thing as a perfect character (even though these jjk men get so close) but this was a perfect reminder that despite everything, the reader has her own red flags to work through as well. will she ever? probably not bc holy shit that passage was so perfect and needed. also, who wouldn't act that way in that kind of situation 😭 swatting OUR hand away when HE is the one causing the scene? omfg it got me so mad LMFAOOOO

also the reveal that Sukuna is a physically abusive asshole? omfg. it makes sense for his character but still, the contrast of that info to how we knew him is intense. it's a shame that he's so fucking hot 😭😭😭 with the things he's done, i understand why Choso has the feelings he does. but holy shit dude, the reader didn't know 😭 why tf is he taking it out on her 😭😭😭

Suguru that motherfucker. i hate now smart and intentional he is with every fuckin' action he does in this series. UGH. the way he had me cringing (in a good way) to the point of having to take breathing breaks after practically every line. especially when he said "Go after him, idiot."

KAMI. YOU 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 OH MY GODDDDD. IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THE READER IS TO CHOSO, GOJO IS TO THE READER, HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY POINTING A NEON-LIGHT ARROW TOWARDS THAT PARALLEL. such a genius way to reuse that line. once i read that, it fucking clicked. the same fucking line Geto says to Gojo in chapter 8 after their first big fight. oh my fucking God Kami. reading that made me have to put down my phone and stare at the ceiling for a bit. so fucking well done. it's lowkey so funny how Geto has been there for so many of the big fights. i'm so fucking excited to see how this develops. my brain is so fried once again.

- ☃️

Smirks. Chat, it’s time for another Kami yap session, LETS GOOOO

1. Gojo’s breakdown chapters & the chapter where Choso leaves (chapter 19 I think) were one of the only chapters that made me tear up while I wrote them😭 Well, aside from the next one I’m abt to drop- ANYWAYS THOUGH, glad you enjoyed it like always ^.^

2. See, here’s the thing about Kenjaku’s mentioning, he was only brought up to show two things; One, Choso has friends and a life outside of the reader, and Two, Choso and Geto have more of a connection/knowledge of each other than what might’ve been expected :)

It’s also another slight anime reference bc like I’ve said previously, I do tend to mirror things such as friend groups or actions to the way things are done in the anime & Choso’s appearance was always made with Kenjaku so, why not make that a factor here yk?🤷‍♀️

3. There actually are already some parallels ^.^

Notice how Choso calls Kenjaku shitty & Suguru snaps back by saying Choso’s brother (Sukuna obv) isn’t any better. Then, you also have Yuki who points out that both men haven’t told the reader anything about these terrible brother’s of theirs, despite both men having connections & intimate moments with her.

It’s kinda meant to show that there is a lot the reader simply doesn’t know. That was honestly somewhat the point of the past few drama chapters! There’s a list of things she learns all in the span of one day, from Gojo’s obsession to Sukuna being abusive— she learned all of that within a single day.

Anywho, the parallel is simply that the men who she claims as her type both have done similar things to her in regards to opening up🤷‍♀️

4. I wanna note that a lot of people are calling Choso’s actions here toxic. Now, I’m not going to disagree of course but, I will just say, his moment of blowing up isn’t unnatural. Choso’s not the best with his feelings, as we can see, and imagine you’re in his shoes for a moment.

How would you react to everything he was just told? Do you think you wouldn’t have blown up as he did? Especially when you consider how passionate he is about his brothers, more specifically, Yuji.

Just wanted to throw that out there! Yes, he shouldn’t have yelled the way he did but this is something that’d been building up & because he’s such an introvert (I am too ngl) it’s not unusual for him to have a sudden outburst as he did seeing as he typically keeps his thoughts and emotions inside rather than wearing them on his sleeve :)

5. Yep, I want people to understand that she herself is not perfect in anyway. The reader just gaslit the hell out of Choso & played on the fact that he believes she knew nothing about Sukuna.

NOW before y’all jump on our mc, while it is toxic & bad, she only does that for the benefit of everyone if you think about it. I said this earlier but she has learned a shitload of info in one day. With that, she’s just as stressed and tensed as Choso is atm so she uses her situation in order to manipulate Choso into telling her the truth about everything.

Think about it, she could never manipulate Gojo into telling her his truth and as said, the last thing she wanted was to go through that again, especially with someone like Choso who typically tells her everything.

Yes, yes it is bad that she did that but in a way, it was for something positive such as forcing Choso to open up to her. Not only that, it also gives her a path to reveal other things to him ^.^

6. Again, Choso didn’t exactly mean to blow up on her but he’s been tense the entire time so it was bound to happen. He’s not blaming her, he’s just upset and is unsure of how to properly express tht as we can see💀

And I think I said this to a few anons so far but, who knows the last time Choso & Sukuna interacted with one another? Given that & based on what the reader experienced, we don’t know how long ago Choso saw Sukuna be abusive to women, now Yuji on the other hand is different ofc because Choso clearly states Yuji’s current age and that kinda shows that tht abuse is ongoing.

7. When I tell you, I WAS SMILING SO HARD AS I WROTE TS. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE making parallels so I literally went back to the chapter with Gojo & Geto just to recall what Geto said to him and then I was like “Yup, time to reuse this shit😈”

AHH I LOVE DOING THT SM UGHHH

But yesyes;

Gojo —> Reader —> Choso

It’s so perfect too ^.^

Ty for reading, mwah, ily <33