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originalfatfiction · 8 months ago

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Big Oak

I was in homeroom when Mrs. Drummond introduced Aidan Ashford. I’d never forget the first time I saw his face. He was so attractive it was almost unreal—short, slender, a sexy mouth. This dude was God-like, with immaculate skin, the same color as toasted almonds, and dark curly hair. He reminded me of Chad from High School Musical. I’d always had a thing for Corbin Bleu. His eyes were brown and somewhat sad. He looked at his feet nervously, and it made me feel for him. It must’ve sucked to transfer schools two months into senior year, as we were already in the middle of October. His pain was my gain though. It was about time I got some new eye candy to look at, and he was downright delectable. I was working myself up thinking about him, my mind already running a million different scenarios involving our non-existent relationship. I felt my neck go hot and I shifted in my desk.

I hated school, and not because I was dumb or anything. It was the building itself, not built for guys of my stature. In every class the desks were the same. Small. Cramped. Uncomfortable. (I liked the classrooms that used tables instead of traditional desks). For people my size, they were like torture devices. I was 6'6” and 365—okay, 375 pounds. My size was good for football, but other than that I hated it. Desks were never going to get more comfortable, grocery bills were never going to get any lower, and I was never going to get a date. I didn’t look like what gay men wanted. I was too big and too not white.

Everyone waited for him to say something—anything—but he didn’t. He saw the empty desk next to me and sat down. He sat very properly, his spine straight and pressed against the back of the desk chair. I turned to him to say hello.

“Hi, my name is Oakley,” I said. He looked at me nervously, eyes pained. He seemed a bit off, and it was a little worrisome. Maybe he’d had a rough morning. It was his first day after all.

“Do you need help with anything?” I asked. He shook his head no. “Like where your classes are, or how your schedule works?” He shook his head no again. He didn't like me. I thought I’d finally found another gay black guy; my current options were abysmal, few and far between. When I turned eighteen at the start of September, I immediately downloaded all the gay apps, and it did nothing for my self-esteem. I came to realize I was going to be nothing more than a fetish. I was a one-time hook-up that people didn’t want to tell their friends and family about. I never got very far with any of the guys that talked to me online. And now there was Aidan. In the thirty seconds we’d spent sitting next to one another I’d managed to plan out our entire lives together only to have my glorious future ripped from under me.

I knew he likely wasn’t into me because I was so fat. It wasn’t like I was squishy fat or anything, just really solid, with a big belly and thick limbs. And okay, maybe I was a little squishy, but I hoped he could like me for my sparkling personality, and not what I looked like. I sighed and turned towards the front of the classroom. Who was I kidding? My personality wasn’t sparkling enough to get a guy like Aidan to be interested in me. I was deluding myself from the start thinking he’d want to date a beast.

I thought I could get the new boy out of my mind, but he ended up being in all of my classes. All of them. Every. Single. One. I was even paired with him in AP Bio. How could we work together when he didn’t even want to talk to me? When the teacher told him that we’d be working together I saw him wince. Whether it was disgust or just regular old disappointment I was unsure, but it didn’t make me feel good. I could have died.

“Big Oak!” Ah, Big Oak, my nickname since elementary school. I’d grown to hate it with a passion. I didn't like being identified as the big guy. I wanted to be the hot guy, the handsome guy. But I was the big guy, and Handsome Oak just didn’t have the same ring to it. “Hurry up! Come on!” The football team waved me over to our table, where we’d act obnoxiously, drawing the attention of the cafeteria for the duration of the lunch period. I had a tray loaded with food and spotted Aidan sitting by the garbage cans, alone. I knew he didn't like me, even as a potential friend, but I shook my head no at the team and made my way over to his table.

“Aidan, come sit with me and the team,” I offered. I thought it was a nice gesture, considering it was basically an instant pass to the in-crowd. I didn’t particularly care about popularity, but it was nice being cool with a lot of people. He shook his head no. That was shocking. Did he really not care about fitting in and making friends at a new school? This guy was so interesting, never doing what I expected of him, and it did nothing but make me all the more intrigued. “Well, I'll sit with you.” I sat down, feeling my gut hit the table. I sighed silently.

He was just watching me eat and I felt really embarrassed, considering I hadn't planned on sitting with him. The team saw how much I ate, but I guess it must have shocked Aidan. He was eating like a regular sized human being. All he had on his lunch tray was a grilled cheese, yogurt, a fruit salad, and a granola bar. God, I wished I could eat like that. Rabbit food, my dad would call it.

“Do you like it here?” I asked, the silence killing me. He stopped eating, pushing his tray forward towards the middle of the table. He shrugged his shoulders, looking at me cautiously.

“It’s a pretty good school,” I said, trying to make conversation. “Did you go to one of the other high schools in the area or did your family just move here?” He didn’t answer me. I let the silence fill the space between us once again. I bit into one of my meatball subs, marinara dripping out onto the top of my gut, staining my shirt. “Ah, shit,” I mumbled. He smirked at me and it was terrible. I was the sloppy fat guy now. “You think that’s funny?” I asked, trying to sound flirtatious.

He stopped smiling, averting his eyes from me. He shook his head no. Did he think I was mad at him or something?

“Happens more often than I’d like to admit,” I said. “A lot of people laugh at me when I’m eating. It kinda makes me feel bad. Not that I’m mad at you for laughing at me. Fuck, I’m talking way too much.” I laughed nervously. Having to carry a conversation all alone was really hard, especially when I considered the fact he probably didn’t want to be conversing with me in the first place.

“Am—am I bothering you?” I asked, regretting it almost immediately. To be completely honest, I didn’t want a negative response. I already felt like I was bothering him. That was my answer. I shouldn’t have wasted my breath asking. He looked down at his hands, but other than that he didn't move. “Man, I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you.” He looked up at me, biting his lip nervously, and shook his head no.

No? I smiled at him, feeling good. He said I wasn’t bothering him! He got up and dumped his tray in the garbage cans about five feet from where we sat. He turned towards me and with slight trepidation waved goodbye. We still had like forty minutes left in the lunch period, so I went to sit with the guys on the team.

After that I was on cloud nine. I didn’t care about my sauce stain and happily demolished the rest of my lunch. I kept my distance for the rest of the day though, not wanting to push my luck so immediately after a success. However, the more I thought about it, the more I came to the realization that I wouldn’t get anywhere if I weren’t persistent. I decided I would talk to him a lot more—well, kind of talk to him a lot more. It wouldn’t be much of a conversation if all he did was nod his head.

“Yo Aidan,” I called. It was the next morning, before homeroom. He stiffened up straight as I said his name. Maybe I had been wrong about that head nod. Maybe I was bothering him.

No.

I had to consider the possibility that maybe I was just being too self-conscious. I had to be confident or things would never go my way in the romance department. Though it wasn’t easy to feign confidence when talking to Aidan because he made my knees weak and my palms extra sweaty. I could feel my tongue turning into mush whenever I tried to speak. Just being around him got me flustered. I had goosebumps for crying out loud.

It was hard to believe someone so small could make me want to run and hide. He was maybe 5’7” on a good day and 150 pounds soaking wet, and something about that was really turning me on. Just standing so close to him, my shadow slightly eclipsed him. From an outside perspective I probably looked like the Big Bad Wolf about to chow down on Little Red.

“Are you not able to talk?” I asked, hoping this wasn’t some sort of faux pas. He shook his head yes. That meant he knew sign language, right? I could learn. I would learn!

“Okay, that’s fine. Yes or no questions for now,” I said, making sure to sound encouraging. “Do you want to sit with me and the team at lunch today?” His eyes widened—in fear? I thought he’d be excited. He closed his locker and hurried off to homeroom. He looked back at me over his shoulder, like he wanted to make sure I wasn’t chasing him or something. Was I coming on too strong?

I went to sit with him again at lunch, but he didn't show. It made me so irrationally angry. It wasn’t that I was upset with him, but with myself. All I could think about was how I could just make Aidan do what I wanted; I was bigger than him. What could he do to stop me? I could walk up to him and say, “Aidan, you’re my boyfriend now, got it?” I hated thinking like that. It was creepy as fuck. What if he wasn’t even gay?

What. If. He. Wasn’t. Even. Gay.

I’d been working under an assumption. I could be barking up the wrong tree coming off as a total basket case. Getting confirmation of that should’ve been step one. I made up my mind that the next chance I got, I’d ask him.

“Can I ask you something?” He nodded yes tentatively. The class after lunch had just ended, and we were on our way to our next period. I was definitely thirsty, trying to form any sort of connection I could with Aidan so that maybe I could win him over.

Suddenly I realized that I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t just ask him if he was gay. I was really new to the whole dating thing. I didn’t know how other gay people could find partners. What if he preferred to be discreet? What if he wasn’t out yet? We were in the middle of the hallway surrounded by other people. I had jumped the gun and now I was awkwardly walking next to him taking far too long to ask him my question. My mouth turned to mush again, and I started sweating. Fuck, I didn’t have a Plan B.

“Are you gay?” I blurted out in what I hoped was a whisper, trying to keep this conversation as private as I could in the crowded hallway.

He looked over at me seriously, like he was trying to see what I was thinking. My mom would say he was reading my aura. I grossed him out. I just knew I did. He wasn’t nodding or anything. This huge fat guy was coming on to him, so I guess this reaction was to be expected. He did a complete 180, running through the jam-packed corridor away from me and in the opposite direction of our next class. Fuck. I couldn't catch up to him. I could if I just knocked everyone over, like on the football field, but that would get me in trouble. Besides, that was just an idiotic plan overall. I guess that was my answer.

He didn't show up the next day, and when he did resurface, it was Friday. I saw him in homeroom, and he was obviously trying to avoid me. He wouldn’t even look in my direction. I didn't even get a head nod when I asked if he had been sick.

At lunch I found myself compelled to seek him out again. I needed him to know I wasn’t going to be weird and gay anymore. I had to put an end to this awkwardness, let him know we could still be friends, and move on with my loveless existence. I saw he had bought some fries and a soda. He was leaving the cafeteria, so I followed him. I called his name and he bolted, but I was ready for him. I caught up just in time and grabbed his arm. He dropped his soda, spilling its lemon-lime goodness on the linoleum; his fries were scattered across the hallway tiles. “Shit, I—I’ll get you some more fries,” I said as he tried yanking his arm free. I pulled him into the nearest bathroom so we could talk, but I had to grab awfully hard so I could pull him in.

I could see his eyes getting all watery and I was confused. This wasn’t something to cry over. I was the one getting his heart broken, not him. I saw his forearm was bruised and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t think I grabbed him that hard, but I must’ve. I wasn’t thinking. I was just a giant, marinara-stained, homosexual monster. “I—I just wanted to talk to you,” I said like a fucking dumb puppy or some shit. He was holding his arm into his body as he sat on the floor, tears finally falling over onto his cheeks. “Please, stop crying.”

“Ah,” he whimpered as he exhaled slowly.

“Please Aidan, I’m sorry.” He had been panicking. I had this guy in a panic. “I didn't mean to. Let me help you up.” I went to grab his hand to help him off the floor. He crawled towards the door and I grabbed his leg and dragged him back in. I should have just let him go. I didn't know what I was thinking. He started thrashing his legs around and I pinned them down, along with his arms. “I just wanted to talk to you,” I reiterated like it mattered in the current state of things. Taking a moment to assess the situation, I realized it looked like I was about to do something awful to him.

“Pl—please don't beat me up,” he sobbed, pleaded really. It wasn't like he was calling for help. He just really wanted me to let him go.

Wait, had he just talked? I was so shocked that I released him from my grasp. He thought I was going to beat him up? He scurried over to the exit and ran out of the bathroom. I wanted to follow him, but I remained on the other side of the door.

He didn’t show up for the rest of our classes. I freaked him out so bad I had my doubts he’d ever come to school again.

Practice that afternoon dragged on and on and I was pretty hungry afterwards. We had a game scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, a Saturday. I usually performed my best at these pre-game practices, but I totally sucked today. I could only think about Aidan. He’d never talk to me again, or for the first time for that matter. I guess I could count him yelling for me not to beat him up as our first conversation where he used words instead of head nods. Why had he lied about being mute? The mystery of this guy was consuming me.

A couple of guys on the team invited me out to the mall. Even though I wasn’t really in the mood, I said I’d go. Being the fat fuck that I was, all it took was a “Big Oak, you know we’re gonna hit up the food court.”

I met up with them between the Sbarro and the Panda Express. I wouldn’t be expected home until later. I hadn’t eaten much at lunch after the whole Aidan-Bathroom debacle, so I was prepared to eat my feelings. We all ate a lot, but I ate the most every time, hands down. I had a couple slices of pizza, some fries, a double cheeseburger, an orange chicken meal, and a milkshake.

I was eating so much that the rest of the guys had already finished their food. They sat talking to one another as I stuffed my face. I’d normally be embarrassed, but I just kept at it. I ate whatever leftovers they had, and I still wanted more. The food was making me feel a little bit better. “I’m getting some Taco Bell,” I said, standing.

“You sure, Big Oak?” Kevin, our quarterback, asked me. His eyes traveled from my face to my gut. I looked down as well. My sweatshirt had ridden up, exposing the lower half of my stomach and my belly button. I tugged at it, covering the exposed flesh.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure. You guys can just meet me back here when you’re done if you want.”

“We’ll wait,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to miss the show, right guys?” They all laughed, and it made me feel pretty lousy. I was a gross joke to be laughed at. As good as the food had made me feel, I was now feeling worse than before.

“Hurry up, Pig Oak,” Mike, one of the wide receivers, added, still laughing. This just made everyone else laugh even harder. I wanted to go home. This wasn’t how I wanted to be treated, but it felt like I deserved it. I was a pig. Thinking about all the stuff I just ate was proof of that.

I started to laugh along with them, not wanting them to know they’d hurt my feelings. “Shut your mouth, Mike,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice level. “I may be a pig, but at least I don’t have a pencil dick.” That did it. The focus of attention had shifted from me to Pencil Dick Mike. Everyone had seen those nudes that got sent around last year. They all howled with laughter and I walked off towards the Taco Bell. I ordered six Doritos Locos Tacos, supreme.

The guys ignored me while I ate and then it was time to mall walk. In our suburb this was just how teenagers spent their time. There wasn’t much else to do in a big group. We walked around and I spent a good hour watching them get phone numbers. I was beyond bored and ready to go home, especially when they made us go into the arcade. We hadn’t been in this place since ninth grade. I sucked at arcade games back then, so I knew I was probably going to suck even worse now. I couldn’t even play the fun racing games considering I was the size of a house.

“Oak, isn't that the freak who can't talk?” Kevin asked.

“I think he can talk,” I said, looking at Aidan. “He just chooses not to.” He hadn’t noticed us yet, as he was busy restocking some of the prizes. He worked here at Game Explosion. I had to remember that. His hair was pulled back in a big halo of dark curls. He had on a bright neon, teal employee t-shirt. The color of the shirt just highlighted his beautiful bronze skin. He looked like some sort of God. He emptied fun size packages of candy into a larger bin. He was making me want to eat candy off of his body. Even my sexual fantasies involved food.

“Wanna make him talk?” Mike asked, smiling wickedly. Some of the other guys laughed at this, affirming they thought it’d be fun to fuck with him.

“No, let’s leave him alone,” I said. “He’s working and we don’t want to get him fired or something.”

“You must hate pussy so much because you are one,” Mike goaded. They all knew I was gay, and they’d make the occasional joke. I didn't care all that much, not really. It was just like earlier with the fat jokes. It was just how the guys on the team interacted with one another. I didn’t think there was anything truly malicious about it. It was just how we were supposed to show our friendship.

“We all know why you hate pussy, Pencil Dick,” I shot back, my heart not a hundred percent in it. They ignored my response and continued to push the whole Aidan thing.

“Make him talk,” Kevin continued to instigate. “We’ve seen you talking to him before.”

“Why? There’s legit no reason to.” I didn't want to bother Aidan anymore. I’d done enough to him already.

“You’re being a real fag about this,” Mike added. This gave Peter and Carter enough to start in on me as well. Before long, the four of them had peer pressured me enough to go over to him. I was trying to tell myself this was to help Aidan. If I were leading the group, I could control the situation to produce the least painful outcome.

“Fine, whatever,” I agreed. I walked up to the counter that had all the arcade prizes. I never had enough tickets to win anything cool. He looked up from his work at me, his eyes getting that deer-in-the-headlights look. There was no better comparison. He was a deer, so fragile and delicate and beautiful. And I was a fucking grizzly bear with a bunch of other grizzly bears surrounding him. Aidan could see the rest of the guys behind me; he took a few steps back, bumping into the shelves with the stuffed animals. A few of them rained down around him, but he paid them no mind. “Hey Aidan,” I said as nonthreateningly as possible. He stepped closer to the counter again, placing his hands on the top of it, like he was trying to keep himself at his post.

He looked at me and forced a smile. He was waiting for me to asked him something about the arcade. He was trying to do his job even though he was terrified of us. His eyes traveled down towards my gut, and I realized my sweatshirt had ridden up again. It was layered under my open letterman jacket. I’d gotten the jacket this school year, but the sweatshirt was from sophomore year, explaining why it was doing such a shit job of preventing me from flashing everyone my fat stomach. I tugged at it again, trying to stifle the feeling of embarrassment. “You, uh, work here?”

He nodded, still trying to hold his composure.

“He’s fucking talking to you,” Mike spat in an over-aggressive manner. Aidan’s body tensed up.

“I—I’m sorry,” he said, still smiling like everything was okay. “Can I help you guys with anything?” He had a really deep voice. It was sexy as hell.

“So you can talk,” Kevin remarked.

“Yeah,” he managed to get out, his voice barely above a whisper. He started writing again, like before we walked up to the counter, but had to stop because he was shaking so bad.

“We just wanted to say hello is all,” I said, trying to make up for the others. Those fucking idiots had scared him so bad, I doubted he’d come back to school ever again. “Let's go guys.”

They followed as I left the arcade. They were all laughing and mocking his voice. Adding a lisp that wasn’t even there. I was so pissed. They ruined everything! This was all their fault.

No. This was—this was—this was my fault too. I was just as guilty, even if I wanted to act like I had pure intentions. I didn’t try to stop them at all, not in a way that mattered.

I got in around nine, much earlier than my parents thought I would. My brother was on his computer and I said goodnight as I passed. I started doing push-ups on the floor of my bedroom. I couldn’t go into the garage to lift because it was so late, and my dad couldn't spot me. I took a shower, trying to calm myself down.

I couldn’t believe that even after everything that happened, I was turned on thinking about Aidan. His hair was so sexy pulled back like that. I pictured his face before we walked up to him, his eyes cast down at the notepad, his lips slightly parted. I reached under my gut and grabbed my dick. I could picture him beneath me in the shower, his hand on my gut to keep it out of his way while he worked my cock with those fleshy lips. I stroked myself off for another few minutes before I came all over the shower wall. I rinsed it away before getting out.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I kind of liked the way I looked. I liked my belly, which was still bloated from the food court, and I touched it. I turned to the side and took in how far it stuck out in front of me, surprised that my ass was actually sticking out almost as far in comparison. I couldn’t believe I was this big. Maybe I should diet or something and then there would be a chance for me to be happier. My hair was still wet, causing water to drip down my neck. I gave my stomach one last squeeze before I started to dry off my hair.

I had to make things up to Aidan, but I didn't know how.

I couldn’t talk to him. He’d just run away, and I definitely was not going to try and grab him again. Touching was off limits, because if I hurt him again—no. That was not going to happen. I walked into my room and sat gently on the bed. I remembered in eighth grade when I first needed a new one, and then last year when we had to upgrade it again. There was nothing more mortifying than explaining to my parents that it just broke. I had just been laying down and the wood snapped. This new king-sized bed frame was made from metal, but I was still overly cautious when I sat on it. With all the stuff on my mind, I didn’t remember dozing off, but I slept for like ten hours, only getting out of bed because my stomach forced me to.

I spent the rest of the weekend thinking about Aidan and how we were starting swimming in Phys Ed. Now I had two things to make me anxious. Anyone could guess I wasn’t going to be participating. I hated taking my clothes off in public. Always had. I’d been the big t-shirt kid for all of middle school, and a big t-shirt could no longer do anything to disguise how colossal I was.

On Monday, Aidan still avoided me as much as possible. I was trying to build up the nerve to talk to him again, but shockingly, he spoke to me after AP Bio, the class right before lunch. “Can—can I talk to you?” I had to look around to make sure he was talking to me.

“Of course,” I said, still in disbelief. We walked in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. It was a section of the school that didn’t have a lot of foot traffic, especially during lunch periods. We found a single-occupant bathroom and went inside. He didn’t say anything for what felt like too long of a time to be standing together in a tiny bathroom. This might have been very spacious if I was a regular sized man, but my gut was just inches from him, and my back was as close against a wall as my butt would allow. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, feeling like I was going to barf. If he was about to tell me off or insult me, I’d let him. I deserved it.

“Why did you ask me if I was gay?” he asked, holding my gaze even though I knew it must have been really hard for him. “Do you have friends at Jefferson?” That was our rival school in the suburb adjacent to this one. So he was from a school in the area.

“Fuck Jefferson,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. He was still staring daggers at me, so I assumed my joke had not landed. “I asked if you were gay because I thought you were cute. I was just hoping you were gay like me. And I know that it’s ridiculous that I would even think you’d be interested in a guy like me even if you are gay, because, well, look at me.”

“Please stop.” He finally looked away from me. “Just stop it. I don’t know who put you up to this, but I don’t like it. I won’t look at you or talk to you, so you can just fuck with somebody else. I just want to graduate and get out of here.”

“Nobody has put me up to anything. Who would do that?” I asked seriously. I was really trying to be as honest as possible. I had no reason to pull a practical joke on him.

“You’re not gay,” he said definitively. He moved closer to the door, not realizing that he wouldn’t be able to open it with me in the way. “I’m not going to let you play a trick on me. I know you and your friends thought it was hilarious to fuck with me the other night.”

“I’m not fucking with you, Aidan,” I said, trying to think of how I could explain things to him. “I didn't want them to mess with you. I—I tried to stop them.”

“Yeah right,” he said, trying to reach for the door handle. “You were going to beat me up last week.”

“No—no, I wasn't.” I didn’t know how to get out of this. The evidence was stacked against me, and even though this was all a misunderstanding, it didn’t seem like he wanted to hear it.

Aidan was trembling so bad it made me feel like a monster. I reached out my arm; I was going to try and give him a comforting pat on the shoulder, but he looked at my arm coming towards him with a panicked expression. I dropped my arm to my side.

“Are you going to let me out of here?” he asked uneasily. “I won’t mention we were in here to anybody. I swear.”

“I’m not holding you captive,” I said. “But please believe me when I say I’m not joking. I am gay. Ask anybody.” He looked at me again, trying to discern if I was being honest. I shifted my eyes even though I wasn’t lying. I just felt so bad about the whole situation. “Seriously.”

“How did you know I was gay?” he asked, his arms straight against his sides. He pulled at the sleeves of his long sleeve. It was really fucking cute, but then I remembered he thought I was about to kill him or something.

“I was just hoping, I guess,” I said, only telling a half-truth. “And, well, you move differently than most guys. And you smell like, a little girly—not that there’s anything wrong with that!” In truth he just didn’t smell like most of the guys I hung around with. The locker room always smelled like sweat and Axe body spray. He smelled like coconuts and other tropical fruits. It was really nice.

“If you just want sex or something, we can do that,” he said, looking down again. “It’s fine if you want to experiment with me. Just—just promise to ignore me. Act like I’m invisible. I won’t tell anyone about what we do together, so you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out.”

“I wouldn’t just use you like that,” I said. “I was hoping you might want to go on a date or something.”

“Why?” he asked, perplexed.

“I like you and I want to get to know you.” He stood silent, like he was running a polygraph on what I’d just said. I couldn’t let this go on any longer. It was now or never.

I filled the small amount of space that still remained between us. My gut pushed into him slightly, but I didn’t let that stop me. I couldn’t let it stop me. I had to make sure he knew I was for real. I leaned down so that my face was right in front of his. I kissed him, and he didn’t pull away. Our lips parted and met again and again, and then I felt his tongue in my mouth. His hands were on my stomach and it felt good. I could feel his palms and his warm fingers pressing gently into my middle. I wanted him to touch me all over. I could stay kissing him in this tiny bathroom for the rest of my life.

“I—I believe you,” he said looking at me, and for the first time ever, it felt like he wasn’t afraid of me. “You seem like a nice guy.”

“Does this mean you’ll go out with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied. “I’d, uh, really like that.”

“When?” I asked excitedly. I knew I sounded thirsty, but this was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He laughed softly.

“Whenever you’re free.”

“How’s Saturday for you?”

“Fine with me,” he said, looking down, but smiling. One day he’d feel comfortable enough to smile directly at me. I couldn’t wait for that day. “But I work at the arcade until three.”

“Okay, cool, I'll pick you up. What's your address? Wait, text it to me. Oh man, now we can start texting each other.” He laughed again, handing me his phone so I could give him my number. I held his tiny phone in my hands, slightly embarrassed that I was having such a hard time putting in the digits. My thick fingers were hitting multiple numbers at the same time. I finally got everything in order and handed his phone back to him. My phone chimed and I looked down at the message that I just received: Hey, It’s Aidan Ashford.

It was so formal, like I knew a million Aidan’s and needed to make sure to differentiate between him and all the others. My phone chimed again, and this time it was his address. “Is seven good for you?” I asked aloud.

“Yes,” he said, still smiling. This was nice. He usually had the same blank expression on his face, well, that or terror. I much preferred his smile.

“Uh, can you stand behind me,” I said, my face getting hot. “It’s the only way I can open the door with the both of us in here. I’m sorry.” He nodded and shimmied by me. Feeling him rub against my body was enough to have me fully erect. I hated feeling like a horndog, but I couldn’t control how he made me feel. I’d gladly replace in my memory the previous bathroom encounter with this one.

We spent the rest of the week texting. He still didn’t talk much during classes, and he continued to avoid the lunchroom, but I didn’t want to push him out of his comfort zone too quickly. I was just glad we were getting closer. I spent the entire week in an amazing mood. At practice my mind was clear, and we won our game on Friday night. That did nothing but good things for my confidence on Saturday night.

I went and got a haircut that morning, my standard fade. I took my truck to the carwash. I lifted with my dad and brother in the garage for about an hour. I was pretty pumped afterwards, my arms and shoulders slightly sore. Fuck, I loved that feeling. I wondered if Aidan liked that I was so muscular. Maybe that’d cancel out the fact that I was also fat as fuck.

I tried on at least twenty different outfits, slightly panicked because I couldn’t wear sweats. I decided on a pair of jeans that had seen better days, but they were my roomiest pair. I threw on a 4-XL t-shirt and layered my letterman jacket over it. I wore some white Nikes, size sixteen. Before I left, I put on some diamond stud earrings and a simple chain necklace. I didn’t look half bad. Hell, I’d even venture to say I looked good.

I told my parents I’d be out late and drove to his place. I didn’t know if I should go in to meet his parents or not. I figured I should. I got out and went up to the door. I texted Aidan and then rang the doorbell. A very pretty girl answered. She looked to be about the same age as me and Aidan. She actually looked a lot like Aidan. They had to be siblings.

“Uh, hi,” I said, a big goofy smile on my face. I was way too excited, but I couldn’t help it. “My name is Oakley Rivers. I’m here to pick up Aidan.” She stared at me for a moment, looking kind of angry. I began to feel uncomfortable. Maybe I had the wrong house.

“Yeah, sure. He’ll be down in a minute.” She didn’t invite me inside; instead, she came out onto the porch and closed the door. Her voice was the opposite of Aidan’s. From that intimidating stare down, I didn’t expect the voice of a Powerpuff Girl.

“So, are you Aidan’s sister?” I asked, looking down at her. She also had big, curly hair like Aidan. If Aidan was a deer, she was also a deer—an angry, intimidating deer that could slice a grizzly bear in half.

“Twin sister, actually.” He hadn’t mentioned any siblings this week while we were texting. I’d have to ask him more about his family tonight. “My name is Autumn.” She was shorter than Aidan by an inch or two, but oddly felt much larger.

“It's nice to meet you,” I said. “Do you still go to Jefferson?”

“I do not,” she said, coming closer. “I graduated last year, like Aidan should have.” She poked a perfectly manicured nail into my chest. “If you're fucking with him, I will kill you.” Her nail dug into my skin. “Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it. I—I’m not messing with him. I swear.” The door opened and there Aidan stood, looking incredible. His hair was pulled back again, and I think he might have been wearing a little bit of makeup, like some eyeliner and a little bit of glitter on his eyelids. He looked like he was a cast member on Euphoria or something. I couldn’t believe someone so cool had agreed to go out with me.

He had on some of those chunky platform sneakers and baggy jeans. He wore an oversized denim jacket with a slightly cropped anime t-shirt underneath. It looked like one of the shows I had seen my brother watching before. This outfit was nothing like the sort of stuff that I’d seen him wear at school. This was intimidating. I looked like shit compared to him.

“Hi Oakley,” he said in his smooth, deep voice. “You look great.”

“Hey, um, thanks,” I responded, my voice cracking slightly. “You look really awesome.”

“Autumn, what are you doing?” he asked, closing the door and joining us on the porch.

“We were just getting to know each other.” She smiled at me and I smiled back. I got the feeling that if I didn’t, she’d stab me or something.

“Oh, okay, that’s good,” he said, giving her a quick hug. “Are you ready?” he asked me.

“Should I say hello to your parents?”

“No, let’s just go.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Bye Autumn,” he called as we left.

“See you later Aidan,” she called cheerily. I turned and gave a slight wave. “Bye Oakley,” she added dryly. She hated me.

We walked out to my truck and sat there for a moment. I was really happy. I was on a date with Aidan. “So, it’s a pretty nice night for the end of October. It’ll probably get colder soon, so I was thinking we could pick up some food and eat it in the bed of the truck.” He nodded, and it made me feel like this was a lame idea. I wish he’d talk more. It’d make me less anxious. “That’s probably a dumb idea. You’re wearing such a nice outfit. I got a carwash today, so I thought it’d be clean enough. I brought a blanket too. I’m sorry, it’s dumb. What—what do you wanna do?” I asked finally, realizing I’d rambled for far too long.

“No, I'm okay with that,” he said. He laughed a bit. “I really appreciate you taking the time to plan all of this. This is my first date, so I'm a bit nervous.”

“This is my first date too,” I said.

“With a guy?” he asked.

“No, with anybody.”

“Whoa, really?” he asked in surprise. “You’re so popular, I just assumed you’ve gone out on a ton of dates.”

“Have you seen me?” I asked. “Nobody is trying to go out with me. I don’t even know why you’re here to be honest. I’m kind of scared I forced you into this.”

He turned in his seat to look at me. It felt really intense, like he had something he really wanted to emphasize to me. He reached across the middle armrest and placed his hand on mine. “I want to be here,” he said. “Don’t think that I don’t want to be.” I felt like I was in a movie. Guys like me weren’t the lead in rom-coms, but he was making me believe that maybe I could be.

“Okay,” I said, grabbing his hand in mine. We sat like that for a few minutes, and it was really nice. I couldn’t believe how special he made me feel. He said he was here because he wanted to be, and I had to push away the negative thoughts that said that was a lie. I was going to enjoy this night.

“Now let’s go get some food,” he said finally, shifting in his seat and putting on his seatbelt.

I drove to one of those fast-food places that had like fifty different menu items. I wasn’t too sure what he liked, so I wanted to make sure he had options. I loved this place, so hopefully he enjoyed it too. “We can get the food and then drive somewhere private to eat,” I said. He agreed and we went inside. He perused the menu and I waited already knowing what I wanted. My stomach growled at the thought of devouring a gyro and cheese fries.

“Would it be lame if I ordered chicken tenders?” he asked.

“Definitely not lame,” I replied. “That’s what my brother always gets. They’re pretty good.”

I walked up to the counter and placed our order. I got his chicken tender meal and a gyro platter for myself (no onions) with a large cheese fry. I also ordered extra fries and two milkshakes. I didn’t know what kind he liked so I got one chocolate and one vanilla. I met him off towards the side so we could wait for the food together.

“How much was it?” he asked. “We can split it fifty-fifty.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He looked up at me expectantly.

“You can pay when we do non food related stuff,” I said, scratching at my chin. “It’s not fair to make you pay when you barely eat anything.” He lowered his wallet, putting it back in his pocket. We didn’t say much as we waited, but it was nice just being out with him. I didn’t mind the silence this time.

Some guys came in and he turned his body towards me, so his face was slightly obscured. “You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m all good,” he said, turning even further, so his back was almost completely facing the door and those guys who had just come in. They had called ahead so their food was already prepared. They grabbed it and were gone within two minutes.

“Those guys are gone,” I said.

“Sorry about that,” he said, smiling. “Just some people I didn’t want to see.”

“Order six-fifty,” the cashier called. I went to the counter to grab our food and we were back out at my truck. He was even more silent than before. I was kind of pissed those guys showed up. I was finally getting him to be more comfortable and now he was on edge again. We rode in silence to a forest preserve a few miles from where the restaurant was.

“Wait here,” I said, hopping out and getting the blanket set up. “Okay, come on!”

Next thing I knew, I was sitting in the bed of my truck eating takeout with Aidan Ashford. It was kind of dark, but I knew that’d be the case, so I brought along a couple of candles. It was definitely romantic. We talked and there were barely any awkward pauses. He chose the vanilla milkshake. I realized he was pretty smart, and it made him even more intimidating. He liked a lot of nerdy stuff and gay stuff I’d never heard of. I wanted to write down some of the things he was talking about so I could research it on my own. He let me talk about football, even though I didn’t think he was all that interested in sports. I wanted to ask him about that day in the bathroom, the one when I first heard him talk. I wanted to ask him about those guys at the restaurant. The conversation turned towards Phys Ed.

“I notice you never swim,” he said.

“No,” I said, eating a chicken tender he had pushed in my direction. I got him a six piece and he’d only eaten three of them. He probably thought I was a glutton. “You don’t either,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, I don’t, but—but I’d do it if you did.” He took a sip from his milkshake. I’d already finished mine. I got us both extra larges, and I didn’t think he was anywhere near finished with his.

“I can’t.” You didn’t really swim laps or anything. You just had to get in the water to receive credit. Everyone just horsed around. They separated the gym classes between boys and girls.

“I just hate that we’re losing points,” he said. “I really need to get an A in Phys Ed.”

“I’m sure you could do it without me.” He shouldn't have body image problems. He looked amazing. Could he really be that poor of a swimmer that he thought he’d drown in a pool full of people?

“Not by myself,” he protested weakly.

“Why not?” I asked.

“It’s just something that happened at my old school. It’s really dumb.”

“Tell me about it?” I asked. He handed me the rest of his milkshake.

“If you finish this for me.”

“You’ve got a deal.”

That was when he told me about his old school, the one Autumn graduated from. He was a year older than I was, which was definitely a surprise. He had to repeat his senior year because he missed so much school. Kids had always picked on him for being gay, but it started getting more serious at the end of his junior year. He thought things would cool down over the summer, but it only got worse. The main culprits were big, football playing guys.

Example? Guys like me.

He’d been on the swim team. One day after practice they cornered him in the locker room showers. They wrapped him in duct tape and tossed him into the deep end. They almost drowned him. I couldn’t believe it. Of course he’d been terrified of me. Some of those guys that came into the restaurant earlier had been in his class. I felt sick to my stomach. I had been seven feet away from the people who almost killed him. I wish he had told me. I’d have killed those fuckers. He said he wouldn’t feel safe unless I was there. I couldn’t deny his request to swim with him now that I knew what he’d been through. We were connecting. He was trusting me.

“I’ll do it,” I said. “We can swim together on Monday.”

“You’re like a superhero,” he said, and it didn’t sound sarcastic.

“Shut up,” I said, laughing. “You’re just fucking with me.”

“I’m not!” he exclaimed. “I really thought you were this awful guy who hated me, but you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

“I’m glad I exceeded your expectations.”

“Can I hug you?” he asked.

“You don’t gotta ask,” I said. He crawled towards me and wrapped his arms around my neck. He was on his knees and I had easy access to his waist. It didn’t take any effort to get my arms all the way around him. He smelled fantastic, kind of citrusy. He let go of my neck, but I didn’t let go of his waist. “You fucked up,” I said. “I’m never letting you go.”

“What if I don’t want you to?”

His face was so close to mine, I could see the glitter sparkling in the candlelight. He leaned in and kissed me. The next thing I knew he was straddling me in the back of my pickup, and we were over-the-clothes grinding. My hand was on his ass, and I was surprised by how much was there underneath his baggy jeans. I had finished all my food, and I knew what I wanted to eat next.

He rocked his hips slightly, and I could feel his dick pressing against my gut through the denim. I knew he could feel my dick, the way he moved his body he was rubbing me just right through my own jeans. He bit at my neck gently, covering it in kisses. “You taste good,” he said breathlessly.

He was going to make me cum in my pants and that’d be so fucking lame, but I didn’t want him to stop. “You—you’ve gotta slow down,” I said, grabbing his waist. Fuck, just feeling how little he was in my hands was sending me into a different headspace. I just wanted to take control of his body. I wanted to make him do what I wanted.

“I don’t want to,” he whispered. He stopped moving his hips, slinking in between my legs. He was like a cat. He’d become some sort of deer-cat hybrid. His hands fumbled under my gut looking for the button on my jeans. It was too tight. He wouldn’t be able to get them open.

“Let me,” I said, sucking in slightly and popping the button open. It had only been holding my gut back a little, but with the added freedom my fat stomach surged forward. “It’s—I’m sorry, you don’t have to. It’s gross.”

“It’s not,” he said, looking up at me from the base of my gut. He started kissing it slowly, licking it softly in some spots. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my fatpad. I hated that he was looking at it, knowing he probably hated it. But then he kissed that as well. My whole body tingled from just a couple of kisses. I couldn’t believe he’d gotten me this excited and he hadn’t even touched my dick yet.

He held my stomach with one hand as he covered the head of my cock with his mouth. I could feel it pulsating as his tongue played with the tip. “Fuck,” I said, not wanting this to ever end. “It feels so good, Aidan.”

I could tell he wouldn’t be able to fit the whole thing in his mouth, but he got the majority of it in there, taking some into his throat. He started making noises like in porn videos I’d seen, and it sent me over the edge. How could one guy be this fucking sexy? I wanted to warn him, but it happened almost instantaneously. I felt spurt after spurt of ejaculate erupt from the head of my dick. He managed to collect most of it, but some of it fell from his mouth onto the blanket.

He shielded his face, though I caught a glimpse of him covered in my cum. That was one of the sexiest images I’d ever seen, and I knew I’d be using the memory later on tonight for round two. He cleaned himself up and I readjusted my pants. Then he got all quiet again.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I hope that doesn’t ruin things,” he replied.

“Ruin things?” Did he believe I would think he was a slut or something? I’d never think that about him. I’d never experienced anything like that in my entire life. He’d never be able to get rid of me now.

“I know it’s dumb, but I’m kind of scared you won’t text me anymore.”

“I’m not like that,” I said. “You don’t have to worry about something like that with me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thanks Oakley.”

I took him home after that and I made sure to give him a kiss goodbye. It was the perfect end to a perfect date. I saw Autumn glaring through the curtains when I pulled off. I hoped she’d like me eventually.

When I got home, I was buzzing. The endorphins were never ending. I had so much serotonin I’d never be depressed again. I took out my phone and sent Aidan a text. It said: I had a great time tonight. Can’t wait to see you again.

He sent back a bunch of emojis. It was really cute. He also said: Thanks for the best night ever!!!

Bridget Jones needed to move over because there was a new queen of rom-coms and his name was Oakley Rivers!

The morning after my first date with Aidan I remembered I needed some swimming trunks. It was Sunday, which meant I still had time to mentally prepare for my public humiliation. I promised Aidan I’d get in the pool, so I was going to get in the pool. I rummaged through my dresser drawers looking for my swimming trunks. I found them. I had bought them last year when this time of year came around, but I never wore them.

I pulled them up over my thighs and felt my neck go hot. My ass was too big. I couldn't fit into these stupid swim trunks. I pulled harder and they ripped. I couldn't believe it; I thought they were huge. I looked in the mirror and there it was, my big brown backside hanging out of some too little pineapple print swim shorts.

I felt slightly excited about this, but that was wrong. I shouldn’t have liked being fat. I felt my gut in my hands, the heft of it was stimulating. I flexed my arms and turned to the side. It really did stick out a lot. Was it wrong to like the way that I looked when I wasn’t what was considered normal? It felt good to be powerful, sure, but was I getting bigger? I couldn’t be, although I ate a bit more, but that shouldn't have made me this much bigger.

I went to the bathroom and stepped on the scale. I didn’t even have a regular scale because I had to get one that went above 300 pounds. I had weighed 374 pounds three months ago at the start of the football season. I couldn't have gone up more than five pounds.

I couldn't see the fucking number.

I couldn't get in the pool now. I couldn't—but that would let Aidan down, and that was something I couldn't do. I managed to maneuver my bulk so I could see the number. I weighed 402 pounds. 402 pounds.

I went back into my room and sat on the bed. The swim trunks ripped even more. I was suddenly very aware of how big I was. I was massive—gigantic—enormous. Whatever you wanted to call it. I had never worried much about my weight. I’d always been a really big guy, and yeah, I kind of hated it, but I hadn’t ever needed to worry about how fat I was. I was just fat. But now, Aidan wasn’t going to want to stay with me. Why would he?

Even though I knew things between Aidan and I would end as soon as he saw me in swim trunks, I made a promise to him and I had to keep it. I got dressed, hopped in my truck, and headed to the mall. Even my truck seemed too small. I went into a store for bigger guys and looked at the swimsuits. I picked up a pair of blue and red trunks. They were two sizes bigger than the other pair. I went to try them on.

They fit. I was kind of in shock that a pair of trunks that were two sizes bigger than the ones I’d just bought last year fit so perfectly, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I was glad I didn’t have to try on anything else, because having a mirror show off my body at every angle didn’t help with my self-esteem. Fuck, my ass was really ridiculous. My thighs were probably double the size of Aidan’s waist. No wonder I only ever wore sweatpants. I had a lot of muscle under my meaty chest and large powerful arms, but they were still covered in a layer of fat. I took in my belly again. It was so round. I hated it. I hated that I kind of liked it. I bought the suit and made my way home.

I had never been so anxious to go to school before. I knew this probably paled in comparison to how Aidan felt about going to school after what happened to him, but I was still terrified. We’d barely started getting to know one another and now it was all going to be over.

“Hey Oakley,” Aidan said. “Good morning.” He seemed to be in a good mood. We were in homeroom, which was first period. Phys Ed would be the last period of the day. I wasn’t planning on eating lunch.

“Hey.” He looked at me, like he saw something.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay,” he replied. I could tell he wasn’t buying that I was okay, but he wasn’t the pushy type. He probably thought I just needed time to open up about whatever was eating at me.

“I’m fine. Really, I am.”

“Well, if something’s wrong, you can tell me.”

“If there was something wrong, I would,” I said. “I promise.”

I was definitely uncharacteristically silent the rest of the day. I just wanted to savor the rest of the time Aidan and I had together before he ended things. I skipped out on lunch, spending the period in the library. I had a slight headache when it was time to swim.

I was one of the last people to get changed, and when the locker room was nearly empty, I got dressed as quickly as possible. I felt like everyone was just waiting to make fun of me. I was the biggest guy in the class, and not by like twenty pounds. I probably weighed the most by over a hundred. I absolutely hated it. Aidan would see me. He’d know what I looked like. But, I mean, I guess everyone already knew what I looked like. I was basically a walking brick wall.

I walked out of the locker room and into the pool area. Aidan was near a corner. I was afraid to go meet him. I started walking over to him, and I noticed nobody else was looking at me. I smiled a bit, mostly to myself. He met me halfway.

He was gorgeous. He had abs. Abs. He was so little. I wanted nothing more than to grab him by the waist and pull him into my body. I wanted to feel his arms trying to wrap around me. I was afraid I’d get an erection. “You look good,” he said. He wasn’t looking at me and his face was flushed. He probably felt embarrassed for me. I wondered if he’d end things in person or through text message.

“You do too,” I said honestly.

“Thanks for doing this.”

“I’m happy to.” He smiled. Coach yelled for everyone to get into the water. God, it was freezing. I could feel my nipples getting hard. Aidan stuck close by me, especially when they started playing a dunking game. I was surprised Coach didn’t try and stop it. We just floated off to the side and I made sure nobody came near us. Before long, it was over. I had survived it, and nobody cared. I was sure they thought I was fat, but they didn’t say anything. Aidan was safe and I made sure of it. It felt good to protect him.

“Do you want to come over tonight and study?” Aidan asked after we were dressed. His hair was slightly wet in some areas. He had put it up, and he never went underwater, but it still managed to get a little damp.

“Sure,” I replied, surprised he wasn’t breaking up with me.

“What time is practice over?”

“I'll skip.” I didn't feel much like practicing. I was starving. Skipping lunch completely drained me. “But can we get something to eat?”

“My treat!” he exclaimed.

We stopped at a McDonald’s that was on the way to his house. Smelling the scent of fries in the air made my stomach growl more loudly than the radio. He fished his wallet out of his jacket pocket, turned and smiled at me, and said, “I got paid on Friday, so please, get however much you want!”

It didn’t feel like he was making a joke or anything. I wasn’t used to not being made fun of for eating too much. Even at home there was the occasional jab at me about my weight. He still smiled at me, and it made my heart melt. I had wanted nothing more in the entire world than him looking at me like he liked me. Looking at me like he was happy to be alone with me, just us and the lady about to take our order at the drive-thru intercom.

“You’re not going to get anything?” I asked, a little embarrassed we had to make this stop because of me.

“Nah,” he said. “I had a big lunch, and I promised Autumn I’d treat her to Chipotle for dinner.”

“That sounds good too,” I said offhandedly, thinking about the last time I got to eat a burrito.

“You could come with us if you want,” he said. “I’m sorry. I’m being weird. We’ve been around each other all day and now I’m trying to take up even more of your time.”

“I’d like to go with you guys,” I said honestly. “If the offer still stands.”

“Yeah, of course.”

It was then our turn at the intercom and even though I wanted to eat my weight in hamburgers, I kept it simple. The cashier gave the spiel welcoming me to McDonald’s and then I was able to place my order. “Can I get a number one meal with a Coke,” I requested.

“Would you like to make that a large meal for one more dollar?” she asked. I normally would have said yes.

“Nah, that’s okay.”

“Does that complete your order?” I didn’t think I could skip lunch again. I was so hungry.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“—Actually,” Aidan called towards the intercom, leaning in my direction. “Can we make that the large meal?”

“Yeah, anything else?”

“And can we have two McDoubles, a ten-piece nugget, and—and an Oreo McFlurry!”

“That’ll be $24.87,” she said. “Please drive forward.”

I followed her directions and pulled the car towards the next window. He handed me his debit card. “I thought you weren’t hungry,” I said, taking the card from him.

“I’m not,” he said proudly. “I knew you’d do that, be all shy and order next to nothing. I told you to get however much you wanted.”

“That was enough food for me,” I lied, feeling really bad that even he thought of me as some greedy pig. We paid for the food and headed to his place. When we got there, it seemed like nobody was home. I could hear a television in one of the rooms, but nobody was moving around or anything. Where were his other family members? I knew we’d see Autumn later at dinner, but what about everybody else?

“My dad is in his room,” he said. “We just need to make sure we aren’t too loud.”

“Yeah, no problem.” We walked towards the rear of the house through the living room and kitchen. There was a small door off to the side. He opened it and ushered me inside. It wasn’t very spacious at all. He had a twin sized bed and a desk setup. There were also some shelves with small figures and books on them.

“You can sit at the desk,” he said, closing a textbook and pushing some miscellaneous knickknacks to the side. I couldn’t sit at his desk. I didn’t know how to tell him that I physically could not sit at his desk. His office chair looked comfortable enough, but it had armrests, and it didn’t look like the one my parents specially ordered for my room. “I can quiz you on Bio terms while you eat.”

“I won’t—I won’t be able to fit,” I said, my head falling. If I was just tall, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an issue. But I wasn’t just tall. I was big. I was wide. I was fat. He looked at me and then at the chair, and then back at me.

“Oh, that’s fine,” he said. “I didn’t realize. You can sit on the bed!”

“I should just go,” I said. It might not have seemed like a big deal, but I was mortified. What did he think of me? Why was he acting like everything was okay when I knew it couldn’t be?

He walked over to me, grabbing the drink caddy from my hand and placing it on the desk. I still held the bag with the food in it. He took that from me next and set it on his bed. “What’s going on?” he asked, looking up at me.

I didn’t want to talk about it. If we started this conversation, it wasn’t like we could pretend that it didn’t happen. He looked at me expectantly. Everything was going to end, and it had barely even begun.

“I think you’re a really nice guy,” I said. “I think you’re so nice that you don’t want to hurt my feelings.”

“Oakley, what’re you talking about?”

“You could be on TV,” I started. “You’re the type of guy I’d see in some magazine and need to find your Instagram so I could obsess over you. I—I can’t let you be with me just because you’re nice and willing to settle for less than you deserve. I can feel myself constantly waiting for the moment when you can’t force yourself to be nice anymore. When you get real about how you feel.”

He looked up at me and his face was kind of angry. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. Maybe this was all it took for him to end things. I opened the floor for this discussion and now he didn’t have to pretend anymore. It was better this happened now rather than when I was absolutely in love with him. “Do you remember the first time you sat with me at lunch?” he asked.

The marinara stain never came out of that shirt. I’d always remember the moment he realized I was a fat slob. “Yeah,” I said, waiting for him to let me know how I wasn’t what he really wanted.

“I had never seen someone look so happy to be eating cafeteria food,” he said. I looked down, no longer able to keep his gaze. I was basically a giant, and the thought of breaking down in tears was humiliating. “Look at me,” he said. “Oakley.”

I looked up at him gingerly. “Yeah.”

“It made me happy looking at you enjoy your food. It was so adorable, and it felt like I was getting to see a side of you other people probably didn’t notice. You’re this big, intimidating guy, but you looked so—so fucking cute.” He hadn’t been making fun of me that day? I assumed he had been laughing at me like everybody else.

“I will say this however many times you need to hear it,” he continued. “I’m attracted to you. I want to continue getting to know you. I want nothing more than for this to turn into a relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Being insecure like this is so not sexy.”

“But you know what is sexy?” he asked. “Eating the food I bought you and enjoying it. You’re still finishing that McFlurry, even if it’s melted.” He led me over to his bed so I could sit and eat. I was really glad he ordered that extra stuff because I was starving. I destroyed all of that food in less than fifteen minutes. He sat, pretending to scroll through his phone, looking up at me from the floor. I knew he was trying to give me my space, but if he liked watching me eat, I wasn’t going to complain.

After all that we managed to study for about an hour and a half. He mentioned that he was supposed to meet Autumn at the Chipotle. She went to a community college in the area and worked a part-time job at a store that sold candles and other smell-goods. My mom would love to use her employee discount. Maybe if I got Autumn to like me, she’d help me shop for my mom.

“I don’t want to study anymore,” he said, stretching out on the floor. He was wearing his plain-Aidan clothes, just a t-shirt and jeans. He rolled over onto his stomach and got on his knees. He kneeled forward and stretched his back, his ass pointed in my direction. His jeans were pulled tight against his bubble butt. He got to his feet and sat next to me on his bed.

“I usually just cram right before a test,” I said. “You got me studying just for the hell of it.”

“You don’t study?” he asked, surprised. “Cramming would just give me too much anxiety.”

“If I get to study with you, I’ll study every day.”

“We��ll become the best studying duo in the country!” he exclaimed. “Tests and quizzes will quake in fear as we approach them. Our number two pencils will be our weapons.”

“What?”

“Oh, uh, I was just joking around,” he said. He scratched at the nape of his neck. “It’s dumb.”

“That’s no way to speak as the leader of the—the uh, Intelligence Collective. As your loyal sidekick and bodyguard, I must encourage you to—believe in yourself?” He laughed loudly, falling back onto his bed. “Sorry, was that not good?”

“It was perfect!” he said, sitting up. “You’re perfect.”

He moved closer to me, which wasn’t a long way to move on his tiny bed, and placed his hand on my thigh. I could smell his hair. That’s where the coconut smell was coming from. I wanted to smell it more deeply, so I leaned over and took a good whiff of it.

His hand traveled up my thigh, finding its way to my stomach. I immediately tried to suck in as much as I could on instinct. “Stop,” he said. I exhaled slowly, and I could feel my gut pushing forward. His hand rested there for a moment, and I’ll admit that it felt nice to be touched like that.

Like before, in the back of my truck, he stealthily moved in between my legs. He was on his knees before me, looking up at me from his bedroom floor. He grabbed at the hem of my t-shirt and pushed it up so that it rested on the top of my gut. He brought his face close to it and slowly kissed from one side to the other. His hand grabbed at one of my love handles and he squeezed it gently. I never thought having a guy focus so much attention on my stomach could make me feel anything other than embarrassment, but I was really enjoying how Aidan was touching me.

“C’mere,” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. I pulled my sweats and underwear down so my cock was out. I grabbed it, stroking it a few times. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and with my free hand I popped open the button on his jeans. I was finally able to grab one of those cheeks. “Damn, this ass is fat.”

His lips met mine and we kissed for a few moments. I was still stroking my dick when he slipped out of my grasp. Back on his knees, his mouth wrapped around the head of my dick. I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on outside of this moment. I was completely lost in Aidan and how he was making me feel.

“Aidan,” called the voice of an older guy. Aidan jumped to his feet, shooting me a nervous glance. I put my dick back in my pants and pulled down my shirt. I felt my heart beating out of my chest. This could’ve turned into a very awkward situation. Before long, the man was at the door of his bedroom. This guy was maybe about twenty-five and a smidge taller than Aidan.

“What do you need, Ryan?” Aidan asked.

“Who’s that?” he asked, gesturing towards me. He didn’t seem to be in a good mood.

“This is Oakley,” Aidan answered, pulling at his t-shirt, trying to cover his front. He hadn’t buttoned his jeans. Ryan looked Aidan up and down, obviously noticing our mistake. “He’s a really good friend of mine,” he added. I stood up, adjusting my own shirt. He looked up at me.

“Friend?” Ryan asked suspiciously.

“Yes,” Aidan replied, his voice shaking slightly. Something didn’t seem right. “Oakley, this is my older brother Ryan.”

“Are you gay too?” Ryan asked, skipping the pleasantries. I was getting a weird vibe from him. He seemed kind of like an asshole.

“Yeah, I am,” I said in an authoritative tone. I wasn’t going to let this guy make me feel bad about who I was. Ryan looked at me for a moment, really taking me in, and then he brought his attention back to Aidan. He walked out of the room.

“We should go meet Autumn,” he said, buttoning his jeans.

“Yo, what was your brother’s problem?” I asked. “I didn’t like that shit.”

“I probably shouldn't have invited you over,” Aidan said worriedly. “I thought he’d be at work until later tonight. Fuck.”

“You didn’t want me to meet him?” I asked, looking down at him. “Are—are you embarrassed of me?”

“Of course not!”

I thought about all the things he said that day in the bathroom when I first kissed him. He mentioned not having a problem with a secret arrangement. I never considered that he might want to keep me a secret. “Listen, I can understand if you don’t want to go out with me. I guess we can just have sex or whatever if that’s what you want.” He was packing away my things much neater than I ever would have. He handed me my jacket and backpack. He pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my free hand. He led me to the front door and then we walked out to my truck.

“I really like you,” he said. “But things with my brother are hard to explain. I just—I can’t talk about it.” I wouldn’t push him. I would let him talk to me when he was ready. I probably should have been more observant in the moment. Obviously, Ryan was weird about gay shit. Aidan probably wasn’t supposed to bring guys back home. I felt like I might have created a bigger problem for Aidan.

Autumn was not enthused to see me walking into the Chipotle with Aidan. I think it was mostly an act though. I offered to treat them, and like the weird twin deer-people that they were, they split a burrito bowl. I got a bowl with lots of extras and two tortillas on the side. I figured it looked better than buying two burritos. Aidan said he liked watching me eat, but I wasn’t going to eat like I normally would in front of Autumn.

I could tell once we finished eating that Aidan didn’t want to go home. I didn’t know what was going on or how I could help, and it made me really angry. When we pulled up to their house I watched in frustration as they went inside.

The day after meeting Aidan’s brother I asked him if everything was okay. I had texted him the night before, but he never responded. He told me that he was all good, but he thought he was coming down with a cold. He didn’t sound like he had a stuffy nose or anything. When I saw he wasn’t getting dressed to swim I asked him if he felt like his cold was getting worse. He was sitting off to the side against a concrete wall, his knees tucked into is body.

“I probably shouldn’t risk it,” he said. “I’ll probably beat this thing by next week. That’s what I get for not drying my hair properly yesterday.” He laughed, but it sounded strained. Maybe he actually was coming down with something.

“I'll go change back then.” I was perfectly okay with having my clothes on.

“You’re already dressed. You can actually have some fun without me.” He smiled. “And I like looking at you in your swim trunks.” I felt my neck go hot. It was going to take some getting used to, having somebody talk to me the way he did.

“If you’re sure,” I said, not wanting to leave him alone.

“I’m positive.”

I ended up getting in the pool. I wanted to see Aidan in his swimsuit again. The class period wasn’t all that fun, but I did get to dunk Pencil Dick Mike.

Aidan didn’t swim again for over a week, but he eventually felt well enough to participate again. The swimming unit was almost over, thankfully. It would only last until Thanksgiving break, which was about two weeks away. Aidan and I had been dating for about three weeks and I had never been happier. I wondered when I’d be able to ask him to be my boyfriend. Hopefully soon I could do something special for him and then I’d be able to ask him.

I had not gone back to his house since that day where Ryan walked in on us. Aidan didn’t ask me to, and I wasn’t going to invite myself over, especially since it seemed to have caused problems for him. My mother on the other hand felt compelled to invite Aidan over for dinner. I had mentioned that I was talking to someone and she insisted he come over for a pre-Thanksgiving feast. I told her that Aidan did not feast, but that did nothing to deter her from imposing her will on me.

“My mom wanted to know if you’d come over for dinner this Saturday, after the game.” Whenever we had Saturday games they were in the afternoon. We’d be done by five and my mom will have prepared enough food for ten meals.

“Do you want me to come to dinner?” he asked, walking with me towards the football field. He had to get to work.

“I want my family to meet you, yeah,” I said, feeling kind of bashful. I didn’t want to be taking this relationship more seriously than he was. That’d just be sad. I didn’t want to be moving too fast either. “It’s cool if you think it’s too soon though. No pressure.”

“Saturday would be perfect,” he said. “I’ll do my best not to embarrass you.”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing him playfully. He laughed, trying to return the shove but finding himself stumbling back instead. “Leave the shoving to me.”

Saturday came much faster than I anticipated. The game went great, and I performed well. I had told Aidan to be here at seven, and the time I spent waiting for him to arrive was agonizing. I was definitely overanalyzing every detail of this meal. What if he hated the food? What if my parents said something stupid? What if my brother was rude? What if, even if everything went perfectly, Aidan didn’t like my family?

My mom had cooked even more than I had predicted, which is no easy feat considering the amount of food we consumed in my house. Of course I was the one that ate the most, but the others weren’t meek eaters. My mother was very tall, as was my father, but I was the tallest. My brother was fourteen, four years younger than I was, and pretty big too, about 6’1” and 250 pounds. That was a good five inches and a hundred pounds on Aidan.

At five minutes to seven the doorbell rang. I told them not to embarrass me and ran quickly to let Aidan inside. “Hey Oakley,” he said, going in to give me a hug. I embraced him, surprised he felt comfortable enough to hug me in front of my family.

Once we stopped hugging, I was able to take in his appearance. He didn’t have on any makeup today. I guess he was trying to keep it simpler for a family dinner. He wore khaki slacks and a denim button-up. He had a large braid on each side of his head that ended in a ponytail. I loved his perfectly styled corkscrew coils. They were so shiny and bouncy.

“Everyone, this is Aidan.” My mother swooped in, hugging him and guiding him to the dining room. We were all at the table in seconds. We just had to get through this initial awkward encounter and then hopefully everyone would be more at ease.

“So, Aidan,” my mother began the dinner conversation. “Do you have any siblings?”

“I have two older brothers and a twin sister,” he said, grabbing a gigantic bowl of mashed potatoes from my father. It was almost comical to see him with such a large bowl of food. He placed a modest half spoonful on his plate before passing me the bowl.

“Oh twins,” my mother exclaimed. “If I were to have had twins, I would have named them after gemstones. Opal and Jade if they were girls, Jasper and Mica if they were boys.”

“Those are really unique names,” Aidan replied, trying his best to sound enthusiastic and doing a damn good job. He was trying so hard and it was too cute. My mom was smitten. “Oakley and Orrick are unique names too.”

Aidan had no idea what he had just unearthed. She loved talking about names and meanings and the universe. My mother was the youngest daughter of a pair of hippies. I wasn’t sure how she and my father had stayed together so long, considering my dad was an ex-collegiate athlete and construction worker. She was white and he was black. He grew up wealthy in the city and she grew up in the country eating homegrown produce.

“You see, when I was a girl,” she started. “There was a forest of oak trees right outside my back door. I spent years exploring the woods and aligning myself with the universe. And you will never believe this, but the first time I met Oakley’s father was in a little diner in our college town called, and I kid you not, the Oak Wood Diner.”

“That really is a major coincidence,” Aidan replied, obviously engrossed in her story. He hadn’t heard this a million times, so I guess he was genuinely interested.

“But wait,” I said with a tinge of sarcasm in my voice. “There’s more!” Orrick and my father both laughed, but Aidan looked at my mother and smiled.

“Please, continue,” he said, making my mother blush. This guy was the mother-whisperer. The rest of the food had continued to be passed around, and my plate couldn’t be more opposite of Aidan’s. He had his meager helping of mashed potatoes, one roasted chicken thigh, a few green beans, and a dinner roll. He didn’t even take any of the mac and cheese or the beef brisket. Me, my dad, and Orrick loaded our plates up like there’d be no chance for seconds. We ate heartily as my mom and Aidan kept talking.

“So we came across one another at that diner often, to the point it felt like the universe wanted us to meet, so I went up to him and said—hon, do you remember what I said?” she asked, addressing my father.

Through a mouth that was half-full, he replied, “‘I need you to know that the universe wants us to know one another.’” My dad finished chewing and swallowed the food. “It was like she was an actress in a movie. This tall, beautiful woman walked up to me with a line like that and I knew I had to get to know her.”

“And the hospital where Oakley was born,” she said enthusiastically. “The floors were named after trees and we were on floor six—oak.”

“So you named him after something really important in your life,” Aidan surmised.

“Exactly,” she said, smiling. “Oakley means ‘meadow of oak trees’ and Orrick means ‘old oak tree.’ I think these names are probably why my sons are giants.”

“Or the fact you’re almost six feet tall and dad’s big as hell,” Orrick interjected.

“Well that too,” she added, laughing.

We ate a bit longer and then mom brought out the dessert. It was a cake from one of the best bakeries in the area. They called it a lemonade cake, and it tasted really citrusy and sweet. My mom cut huge slices for all of us guys, completely ignoring the fact Aidan wouldn’t be able to eat it all. We continued to eat and talk.

“Aidan, play any sports?” my father asked.

“No, not currently. I was on the swim team at my old school.”

“Why’d you stop? The season is just starting for swimmers. You could join the team at Jackson.”

“He doesn’t want to, Dad,” I interjected hastily, kind of killing the flow of conversation. We finished eating dessert in a bit of an awkward silence.

For the most part, my brother Orrick had been disinterested in the conversation. My mother told him to start clearing the dishes. Orrick and I looked pretty similar. He and I had the same sandy brown hair and brown eyes. I was a little darker than he was though, and obviously bigger, but the family resemblance was definitely there. I wondered what the rest of Aidan’s family looked like. I knew his sister looked like him, and even Ryan was obviously his brother, but what about his other brother and his parents?

Once we finished dessert, we went up to my room. He had eaten about a third of his slice of cake before sliding it discreetly in my direction, and I happily ate it for him. He sat nervously on my bed, and it was surreal having him in my house. Orrick came in and spoke much more freely than he had at dinner.

“Hey Aidan, how old are you anyway?” he asked.

“I’m eighteen,” Aidan replied. “But I’ll be nineteen in April.”

“Whoa, really?” Orrick came and sat on the bed next to Aidan. “So you’re older than Oakley? I’d never have thought that.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Aidan said seriously, almost as if he were in an interview. Orrick was pretty outgoing and could be very in your face at times, but I didn’t think he did it on purpose. His personality tended to engulf a person if he was comfortable around them.

“So am I better looking than my brother?” he asked, smiling. “Cuz Oakley got hit with the ugly stick on the way out of the womb.”

“Fuck you,” I spat, walking over to him and punching him in the shoulder. “I should kick your ass, bitch boy.” I grabbed Orrick and put him in a headlock, flexing my arm to really make it uncomfortable. Orrick groaned theatrically, trying to get out of my grasp. Aidan tensed up considerably, his eyes wide and his lips pressed together anxiously. It was so obvious that even Orrick noticed. It was like he was scared or something.

“Aidan, are you okay?” Orrick asked. “I wasn’t really hurt. We were just playing around.”

“Orr, give us a minute.”

“Yeah, sure. See you later Aidan,” he said, giving me a worried look before he left my room, closing the door as he exited.

“Your family is very nice,” Aidan said.

“They’re alright.” He smiled and I sat next to him on the bed. I didn’t think it was possible for him to be anymore stiff, but he sat up even straighter. “You don’t have to act like this around me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know that,” he said. “It just made me think about—nothing, I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you and now Orrick probably thinks there’s something wrong with me.”

“You’re fine,” I said. “You didn’t do anything.”

“I really did have a nice time,” he said.

“I did too, thanks for coming over.” He looked over at me. How could someone’s gaze feel so intimate? I felt my heart beating in my chest and my palms get slightly sweaty. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him. I had to.

I leaned over into him, my body pressing against his. I held back most of my bulk so I wouldn’t squish him. He kissed me back, his hands on my chest. I wondered if he could feel my heart beating through my meaty pecs. We made out for at least thirty minutes and it had me feeling pent up, but I took him home before it got too late.

“I hope I can meet your family one day,” I said. We sat outside of his house and he had ten minutes before his brother-mandated curfew.

“You’ve met Autumn and she’s the only one who matters to me.” That made me kind of sad. What about his mom and dad? I knew Ryan sucked, but didn’t he have another brother? “I’m not trying to ruin the mood.”

“You’re not,” I said. “I want to know everything about you.”

“Do you and Orrick always fight like that?” he asked.

“Yeah, but we’re only fucking around,” I said. “It made you feel a type of way, didn’t it?”

“It used to be like that, sometimes,” he said. “But that was when Autumn and I were really young. When Ryan and my other brother Kyle were teenagers, that’s when the play fighting stopped being just pretend.”

“Are you saying your brother hits you?” I asked, my blood boiling. I was usually a very level-headed person, but sometimes I could just feel a rage inside of myself that wanted to be released. He didn’t say anything for a long time, and it seemed like he was confirming my assumption.

“No,” he said finally. “He doesn’t.” I didn’t believe that, and it didn’t feel like Aidan did either.

“I don’t want you to ever feel afraid to tell me anything,” I said. I was still fuming, so I had to wrap my hands around the steering wheel to center myself. I could see myself marching up to Aidan’s front door and confronting Ryan myself. But I realized the situation wasn’t as black and white as I wanted it to be. I sucked at understanding the gray area of things.

He sighed and looked out the window towards his house. “My dad doesn’t really talk to us anymore,” he said. “He goes to work, comes home, gets drunk, and falls asleep in front of the TV. I don’t mind it though. He was awful when we were growing up. So hateful. Everything that came out of his mouth was so mean.” He looked over at me, his eyes sad just like the first day I saw him in homeroom. “That’s where Ryan gets it from. That’s why my other brother doesn’t come home from college. It’s why my mom left.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“My biggest goal in life is to find somewhere safe, where I don’t feel so on edge all the time.”

“I want you to feel as safe as I do with you,” I said. “I really like you, Aidan, and I want to be there for you through anything. I’ll protect you myself. I promise.”

“I told you that you were a superhero,” he said, sniffling. I hadn’t meant for this to make him cry. I was just being honest.

“I know it might be a little soon,” I started. “But I really want to know if I can call you my boyfriend.”

“I would love to be your boyfriend.” He smiled, looking over at me, his eyes still watery. “You have no idea what you mean to me.”

That was when an alarm on his phone went off and he told me he had to go inside. He kissed me goodbye and once again I watched in frustration as he entered his front door.

Once Aidan and I decided that we were ready to be in a committed relationship, there was no stopping the flood of affection I felt for him. Everything was going so well that even my lingering suspicion of his brother had subsided. After Football ended in early December, I found myself with a lot of free time. Aidan still worked four days a week at Game Explosion, and it meant I hung around the mall a lot more often. I’d spend my time grazing at the food court, studying for classes to pass the time. I just had to maintain a strong GPA and I’d be attending the state school next fall on a partial football scholarship. It wasn’t anything to scoff at either; I’d only have to pay two grand out of pocket. We fell into a routine that I valued, able to see him much more frequently than when I had football to worry about. Christmas came and went, as did the new year and Valentine’s Day. In March, Aidan spent the entire spring break working, so we didn’t really get to do much together.

Next thing I knew we were in April. It happened sooner than I could have imagined. In less than two months we’d be graduating. I drove to the mall on a Saturday afternoon excited to see Aidan. It was his nineteenth birthday. He hadn’t really mentioned wanting to do anything for it, but I still wanted to make it special for him. Aidan wouldn’t be off for another hour or so. I wandered the food court before going to Game Explosion. I ordered a couple of cinnamon buns and a milk to hold me over until then.

With fifteen minutes left in his shift, I made my way to the arcade. It was pretty empty, and I wondered if arcades were going to become a thing of the past. They were already riding the wave of nostalgia, and I didn’t think the novelty of them could last forever. Then again, I sucked at arcade games so I could have been viewing Game Explosion from a place of bitterness. I didn’t see Aidan manning the prize counter, so I wandered the aisles in search of him. There was some burnt out looking sophomore playing one of those racing games that I was too tall and too fat for, but no Aidan.

I continued my search, thinking about how I was going to wow Aidan tonight. I had planned a romantic evening that would definitely make this birthday one to remember. We never got to be alone at my place, and we still had not hung out at his house after the Ryan-incident. I’d been saving my money for the past couple of weeks to make sure I could rent us a hotel room. We’d order room service and watch movies and be together without the fear that anyone would interrupt us. I was radiating happiness and I knew I needed to chill out so I could present the plan to him at the right time.

I finally found him, and he was playing a game called Dance Dance Revolution. It was the hardest thing I ever saw, and I wondered who would play something like this for fun. His legs were hitting every note, or I guess they would be steps. I noticed it was on expert.

He finished the song with an A. “Dang,” he mumbled. “I got too many greats.”

“Whoa, you're really good at this game.” He turned around to face me and smiled.

“You saw me playing?” He looked at the screen. “I should've gotten a Double A.” He wasn’t even sweating or out of breath. It was truly amazing.

“Yeah?” I looked at the score on the screen. “But an A is more than I'd ever be able to get.”

“Oakley, this is so embarrassing,” he said, laughing. “I only play when there’s nobody in here. I prefer to keep this a hidden talent.” He was crazy. If I could play this game without tripping over my feet and falling on my face, I’d tell everybody. He picked up his cardigan off the guardrail. “I'm off in ten minutes.”

“Cool, I’ll give you a ride and there’s something I’ve got to ask you.” I glanced over at the game again. “And maybe you can teach me a thing or two.”

“Yeah, of course.” He set his cardigan down and turned his employee key in both key slots so the two pads would work. I removed my letterman jacket. We both stepped on and I already regretted my decision.

We finally left Game Explosion after an hour session of Dance Dance Revolution. The ten-minute teaching session ran long because Aidan was determined to help me get at least a D on beginner. I was really bad at that game; I couldn’t believe he was so good at it. I was really exhausted and sweaty afterwards.

“I think I’ll leave the dancing to you,” I said, walking through the mall parking lot towards my truck. I took off my letterman jacket and placed it on Aidan's shoulders. He put his arms into the sleeves, which were too long for him. I really wanted to see what he looked like in it, in my jacket. He was so cute. I felt my face go hot.

“This is really warm,” he said. “And it smells just like you.”

“Yeah?” I wanted to ask if that was a good or bad thing, but I just looked at the ground as we continued walking. “You look really good in that.”

“I think it looks better on you.” He grabbed my hand and we walked slowly in the darkening evening light. It felt like a big bowl of ice cream on a hot summer night. It felt like warm cookies at Christmastime. Being with Aidan was the best feeling in the world and I was thankful every single day that he chose me to share his beautiful aura with. I was starting to sound like my mom.

Once we were inside my truck, he kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, and I loved the way they felt on my own lips. I grabbed the back of his head, holding his face close to mine, kissing him again. We must have been sitting there for ten minutes, just kissing.

“I know you have your curfew and everything, but we’re both over eighteen, so I got us a hotel room for the night.” He looked away for a moment, then back at me. “It’s fine if it’s too much. I just know today’s your birthday and I wanted to celebrate with you.”

He probably wanted to celebrate with Autumn considering it would also be her birthday. It’d probably cause problems if he broke his curfew. I shouldn’t have tried to surprise him. It was probably too much. Now I just felt embarrassed for the both of us.

“I guess I have to go pack a bag for the night,” he said excitedly.

I had that big, goofy grin on my face again as I put the truck in drive. We drove to his house and I sat waiting as he went inside. He was still wearing my jacket and it was making me hard. Maybe I was a little possessive or something. I’d have to keep that quality in check.

He came bursting out of the front door, a bookbag in his hand. He sprinted over to my truck and got in quickly. He was laughing as he closed the door. I hadn’t seen him so carefree before and it made me happy that I was playing a role in that. “Autumn had already packed a bag for me,” he said. “I texted her while we were on our way here.”

I pulled off from the curb and made my way to the hotel. It was about twenty minutes away. “You make it seem like we’re pulling some sort of heist.”

“We’d be unstoppable with you leading the operation,” he said, laughing again, his smile shining bright in the dark night. “You could take out all the guys coming after us and I’d—I’d probably only get in your way.” His smile slowly began to fade. No! I wanted him to smile the entire night. I wanted him to smile so much tonight that he’d wake up tomorrow morning with sore cheeks.

“You can play that song you like,” I said. “It’s your birthday, so you’re DJ.” He connected his phone to the truck’s speakers, and we listened to SZA for the rest of the ride. I sang along with him, only knowing the hooks. I think it was cheering him up, taking his mind off of whatever had him feeling down. When we arrived at the hotel I went in and got everything situated.

Back at the truck I grabbed my overnight bag and the bag with all the stuff I needed for his celebration. He carried his own backpack, and we went up to our room. It wasn’t the biggest or nicest hotel, but there were eight floors and even a swimming pool, though I was pretty sure we’d had enough of swimming pools.

“I can’t believe you went through all of this trouble for me,” he said as we rode in the elevator to the seventh floor.

“You deserve it,” I replied, feeling bold knowing we were alone with no possible distractions. “You do so much for me, it’s only right I show you that you’re appreciated.” I shifted the bag in my right hand to my left, so I’d have a free hand. I reached over and grabbed him by the waist, pulling him closer to me. My hand traveled down, resting at the top of his ass.

“I’ll have to make sure I plan something extra special for your birthday,” he replied, leaning into me. We arrived on our floor and made our way to the room.

There was one large bed in the room along with the other standard hotel room amenities. We set our bags on the bed and he rummaged through his slowly, grabbing items for a shower. That’d give me enough time to get things together for his surprise. “I won’t take long,” he said. “Could you play some music or something?”

“Yep, I got you.”

I turned on the TV and flipped to a random pop radio channel. I watched as he went into the bathroom and closed the door. I’d have about twenty minutes to get everything together. I had stopped at a party store earlier in the week to gather things for tonight. I had picked up his present as soon as the store called and let me know it was ready. The hotel room had a small table near the window, and I covered it in an iridescent tablecloth. I placed a small lemonade cake I bought in the middle and surrounded it with fun-size packages of candy. I’d also brought lots of other snacks for when we watched movies, but I didn’t feel the need to take them out yet.

I hung a happy birthday string banner along the curtain rods. I took a step back to look at the table area and I suddenly started feeling a little self-conscious. This was kind of lame, wasn’t it? He was turning nineteen, not nine. Why would he be impressed by any of this?

With not enough time for me to make any changes, he emerged from the bathroom in a pair of Calvin Klein briefs. His hair was pulled back in a poofy ponytail. He froze, looking at me next to my birthday display. “Surprise!” I shouted weakly.

He wasn’t saying anything, probably because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. “Oakley, this—this is the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me,” he said, bringing his hands to his eyes to wipe away some stray tears.

I broke out into that big, goofy grin I got whenever I was around him. I was also getting hard looking at him in his little black briefs. I’d seen him in his swimsuit, but this was a million times better. “Do you want me to sing happy birthday now or after you get dressed?” I asked.

“How about you sing happy birthday to me in your birthday suit?”

“I don’t know about all of that,” I said laughing. He didn’t say anything. He just smiled and walked towards me. He was standing right in front of me and I couldn’t believe someone so beautiful could be this close to me. We’d rarely had opportunities for alone time like this. After that time at his house, he’d given me head a few times and that wasn’t very often. It was only when we could plan out times when nobody would be at my house. I’d never even gotten completely naked in front of him before.

He grabbed the hem of my t-shirt with both hands and lifted it to the top of my gut. “You’re too tall for me to pull it all the way off,” he said. “Will you take it off for me?”

I pulled my shirt off and stood in front of him in a pair of gray sweats. I stepped out of my sneakers next. He brought his hands to my waist, feeling my love handles. His touch was very gentle and as flustered as he was making me feel, I was still incredibly aroused. He slid his hands into my underwear and pulled them down along with the sweatpants. I could feel the fabric resisting his effort around my meaty ass, but with a bit more force he was able to get me undressed. I stepped out of the fabric that was piled at my feet and stood naked in front of him.

I had always had a hard time reading him, but he seemed to be turned on which was a good sign. He looked at me with a focused stare. It was really intense. “Oakley, you are huge,” he said finally.

“I—I’m sorry,” I said, thinking about how much I’d been eating since the football season ended. When I weighed myself this morning, I was pushing 450 pounds.

“Don’t be sorry for giving me everything I want for my birthday—although I’d like to do this more often.” He placed his hands on my arms and I flexed them slightly, smiling timidly. I could see his dick jump in his briefs. “Fuck Oakley, you’re so damn sexy.” The next thing I knew he was trying to get his arms around me, grabbing my butt. My dick pressed against him, and I could feel pre-cum slicking against his smooth skin.

I could see us in the mirror attached to the door of the room. I knew I was bigger than him, obviously, but seeing us in the nude was surreal. I was wide, at least twice as wide as he was. It wasn’t like he was ridiculously small either, but I liked that I dwarfed him. He sunk into me, like I was a memory foam mattress. His skin was a little darker than mine and I ran my hands down his back. Looking at myself. Looking at him. I felt good. We looked good together in this moment.

“Take these off,” I said, grabbing at the waistband of his briefs and snapping them gently against his butt. He shimmied out of them and his dick stood at attention.

“What are you going to do to me?” he asked, looking up at me.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” I said. This was one of the most erotic experiences of my life. I felt so present in the moment. I never wanted this to end, this sexual tension, this lust. “C’mere.”

I pulled him into my body, lifting him up. I walked him over to the bed and tossed him down gently. I looked down at him, my dick aching. “I’ve got—lube in my bag,” he said breathlessly.

I rummaged through his bag on the side of the bed and grabbed the lube. I prepped my dick and his hole. I couldn’t believe I was about to fuck him. I was going to fuck someone I was undeniably in love with.

Aidan flipped over onto his stomach before perching himself on all fours. His ass was immaculate. He had such a pert, bubble butt and I inserted myself slowly. “Is this okay?” I asked, easing my tip into him.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “It feels good Oakley.”

I didn’t have a small dick and I didn’t want to hurt him, but he said he was doing okay. I pushed a little more, only about halfway inside him. As good as it felt, I still worried if he was doing okay or not. “You can—you can push it in Oakley,” he said, his voice a little higher than he normally spoke. I was a little over nine inches, and his ass took the whole thing. I didn’t move at all, not wanting to do something wrong. Aidan moved his hips slowly, building momentum. He pounded himself against me, making my gut shake. I slapped his cheeks before grabbing at his waist. Looking down at my hands holding him, enveloping his body, was an image I’d have ingrained in my mind forever. The TV was still playing pop music, so I hoped it blocked out how loud we were. Aidan moaned my name over and over and it was sending me to a higher level of existence.

This boy was mine. All mine. He took my dick and moaned my name. Fuck.

I pulled out as I was about to cum and ejaculated all over his ass and lower back. I had sweat on my forehead and I could hear myself breathing. I was out of the moment but feeling less insecure than I thought I would. “Shit, you just showered,” I said, chuckling nervously.

“I can always shower again,” he said, climbing off of the bed. “But you need to get your energy up for round two. Time for cake.”

The rest of the night went amazingly after that. Aidan wouldn’t let me put my clothes back on, one of his birthday declarations, and his hands were all over me the entire night. I was convinced something was wrong with him because he actually seemed to like my body the way it was. I couldn’t have been any more fortunate, and maybe if Aidan liked how I looked, I could start to like it too. I kind of already did, and he was giving me the support to admit that.

I sang to him and we ate cake. We ordered pizza. We watched movies. We ate snacks. We laughed. We cuddled. We fucked again. We talked. We fucked some more.

“I got you a gift,” I said between sex sessions. It was one of those gold necklaces that said a person’s name. He opened a jewelry box with two necklaces. One that said Aidan and one that said Oakley.

“I’ll wear the one that says Aidan,” I said, grabbing the necklace with the longer, thicker chain. “I was hoping you’d wear the one that says Oakley.”

He put it on immediately, climbing on top of me and kissing me deeply. Of course this started things back up in a new position. I got to watch his face as he rode my dick, my name around his neck.

I knew then for sure that I loved him.

At some point we fell asleep. The next morning we straightened things up a bit in the room and checked out. I slipped my jacket onto his shoulders again, wanting to let the world know who he belonged to. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but he had to get home to get ready for work.

I wanted to spend every single minute with Aidan. It wasn’t fair we had to live in separate places. I couldn’t wait for college next year. Aidan had applied to the same school once I told him about my scholarship. We’d get to pick our housing next month, and hopefully we’d end up in the same dorm room. Just the thought of living with him was making me overly excited.

“Thanks again for everything,” he said. “That was the best night of my life.”

“Mine too,” I agreed.

We sat for a moment. He turned towards me and I knew he was trying to kiss me. I leaned over as well, and our lips met. I couldn’t believe this was getting me so hard considering how many times I came last night, but I wasn’t complaining. “I love you,” he said.

We hadn’t said that to one another yet. I had been wanting to say it for months. He had my mouth turning to mush again.

“I love you too Aidan,” I managed to get out, feeling emotional. He smiled, and it made me feel warm on the inside.

“I guess I should get going.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you?” I asked.

“We barely got any sleep last night,” he said, laughing. “You go home and rest. I’ll text you later.”

“Can I at least pick you up?” I begged, sticking out my lower lip.

“How can I say no to a face like that?” He laughed. “You don’t play fair.”

He got out of my truck and closed the door gently. He waved goodbye as he walked towards his front door. I looked at him in my jacket and grinned like a total dweeb. I had the cutest boyfriend in the whole world. He went inside, and I was going to make my way home, but I noticed Aidan’s phone in the passenger’s seat. The screen was going off like he was receiving notifications, but it wasn’t ringing on vibrating. I guess he had set it to silent last night.

I picked it up, killed the truck’s engine, and got out to take it to him. It was a pleasant April morning, not too cold, but slightly breezy. I looked down at his phone and his home screen displayed 30 missed calls and a bunch of unread texts from his brother. That was definitely weird.

I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something bad was going to happen. The wind blew and I realized Aidan was still wearing my letterman jacket.

I could hear Ryan yelling as I made my way up to the door. “You’re wearing his fucking shit now too!?” he yelled angrily. “You gonna walk around proud to be his bitch!?”

“Ryan, just leave me alone,” Aidan responded, his voice shaking. The door was still slightly ajar. Ryan hadn’t even closed the door before he started going ballistic.

“Don’t you touch him!” Autumn screamed in her shrill voice. Glass broke.

“Autumn, you bitch. If I fucking cut myself, you’re next.” I waited by the door. I wanted to go in, but I didn’t. What if this made things worse for Aidan? What if he didn’t want me to do anything? “Give me the jacket.”

“No,” Aidan said firmly. “Fuck you.”

“Give me the fucking jacket.”

“It’s not mine to give,” Aidan retorted. “It’s my boyfriend’s.” I heard a thump, like someone getting pushed against a wall.

“Stop it!” Autumn hollered. I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I opened the door and stood there taking in the scene. I saw Ryan pressing Aidan against a wall, grabbing at my letterman jacket. There was a broken picture frame on the ground near Ryan’s feet.

“That’s my jacket,” I barked. “I gave it to Aidan, not you.”

“Get out of here you big faggot,” Ryan spat at me. I didn’t care he insulted me. But he still held Aidan against the wall, pushing even harder now that I was there. He shifted so that his forearm was against Aidan’s throat. It caused his necklace to become untucked from underneath his shirt.

“Oakley,” Aidan choked out. “It’ll be okay. You can go.” He looked so scared there was no way I could just go. Autumn looked over at me, her eyes frantic. She shook her head no, letting me know she didn’t think I should leave. Ryan noticed the Oakley necklace and ripped it from Aidan’s neck, banging him against the wall again in anger.

I strode over to where they stood and pulled Ryan off of Aidan, who scrambled to pick up his broken necklace from the pile of shattered glass. I had lost control. Everything was tinged in red I was so enraged. I punched Ryan in the face, and he stumbled back. I caught him by his shirt and punched him again, this time in the stomach. I could feel my whole body on fire. I had to stop but I couldn’t. Not after seeing firsthand how he treated Aidan. I lifted him up off of the ground and pressed his body against the same wall he’d just had Aidan pinned against. I brought him close to me before banging his weak, worthless body against the wall again, denting the drywall. This guy was scrawny; he couldn’t have weighed much more than Aidan. “Don’t touch him ever again,” I roared. His eyes were wide. I didn’t think he was used to being a victim. I tossed him onto the glass, coming back to my senses.

I turned to look at Aidan and Autumn. They stared at me with wide eyes, the deer-in-the-headlights twins. I must’ve looked scary. I handed Aidan his phone from my back pocket and walked out of the house. What had I just done? I’d probably ruined things with Aidan. I’d probably get arrested. My scholarship would be taken away. I’d never get to live in a dorm room with Aidan.

Aidan followed me out of the door first, followed by Autumn who stopped to kick Ryan in his side.

“I—I’m sorry,” I said once we were standing near my truck. I tugged at my t-shirt, noticing that it had ridden up during the altercation.

“For what!?” Aidan and Autumn said in unison, perfectly in sync.

“I just wanted to help, and I lost control,” I said, breathing deeply. “I probably fucked everything up.”

“You saved me,” Aidan said. “And I’m glad you did.”

“Shit, me too,” Autumn added. “I didn’t know what he was going to do to Aidan. He hasn’t been this mad ever.” I gave a sigh of relief and Aidan came to embrace me. He held onto me tightly, and I squeezed him just as hard.

We spent the rest of that morning cleaning up their foyer and waiting for Ryan’s retaliation. About two hours after everything went down, he came and told Aidan that he wasn’t to ever speak to him again. And from what I’ve heard he hasn’t said a word to Aidan since.

Apparently, I broke his nose, and I wanted to feel bad, but he deserved that and so much more. Aidan finally told me the whole story about how Ryan had never approved of his “lifestyle” and had spent every moment since he’d come out as an opportunity to harass him about it. He’d suggested different therapies and programs to help Aidan live his life differently. It was total bullshit.

Autumn had plans to transfer to a school on the west coast in the fall, feeling that if Aidan were taken care of, she could have peace of mind. Aidan accepted his admission to the school I’d be playing football for and we’d be filling out housing applications next week. Prom was less than a month away and graduation was fast approaching.

I started hitting the gym hard again to prepare for the summer training camps, but my relationship weight wasn’t really going anywhere. I’d probably be a little bit bigger by the time the season started. I liked to think the extra weight made me better at looking out for Aidan.

I had reached the end of my rom-com, but thankfully this wasn’t a movie. This was my life. And it was only the beginning for me and Aidan. Our relationship still had so many more amazing moments that wouldn’t make it into the film. There was still room for sequel after sequel, and just like me, they’d just keep getting bigger and better.

The End!

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