#so my big brain theory was damn he has to do it before heading to brazil

[probatiostudies]

GUYS IF CHARLIE BEING ON A PLANE ISN'T HIS ASS GOING TO BRAZIL I WILL CRY, SLIMECICLE THE BRAZILLIANS WERE MANIFESTING YOU SO HARD PLS DON'T DO THIS

[torupinwheels]

Breathless Hill

Summary Fending off the big bad wolf is nothing new to you. But this close up to his shiny fangs and muscled arms, who could blame you for having a couple new tricks up your sleeve?

Pairing Toji x Reader

Content Warning MDNI, forest sex, fem!reader, werewolf!Toji, ruts, knotting, asphyxiation, breeding, creampies.

Word count. 2.5k

AN. Scrambled to get this fic done before getting my groceries, hope you guys enjoy ^_^.

For the first time all night, you close your eyes and instantly regret it. Your legs hurt from running and your lungs feel scarred; like the northwestern trees after a particularly brutal wildfire. The sun had long set but you were still seeing flashes of light behind your eyes, dizzying your balance with every blink; you were exhausted to say the least.

"You sure you're not tired yet, doll?"

Hearing that damned gravelly voice echo in the distance, your eyes shoot open.

Fuck, you could have swore you lost him a couple miles ago. You swallow, sweat dripping down from your brow down to your neck. Your shirt was soaked through already, sweat clinging to the outlines of your chest.

Your ears pick up the faint rustling of leaves nearby. Alarmingly nearby.

Suddenly, you wince at the sound of claws scraping loudly on the deeply furrowed bark of the trees. It sounds far too close for comfort. In fact, it almost seems that it's coming from the tree behind you.

The realization hits you but it's too late: Toji is upon you in the blink of an eye.

It's impressive how fast he knocks the air out of you, pinning you like the small game prey that fall into his trap every full moon. The sheer force of his sinewy muscles forces a grunt of surprise out of you as your back hits the tree behind you. He grins, a delighted smirk reaching from the etched scar on his lip to reveal sharp canines lurking underneath.

"You're quiet now, huh? Shoulda thought about that before taking my bounty, pretty girl."

He's intoxicating. Logically, it's easy for you to understand the danger you're in; having the most lethal werewolf in the county pressing up against you. As the blood rushes to your head, you size up the threat in front of you.

However roughed up you must look, he's worse off. Despite his confidence, you managed to get a couple good hits in before he turned. His human clothes struggle to contain his massive form, turning a normally baggy grey sweater into something more akin to a tattered imitation of a compression shirt.

Your gaze drifts further down and you bite back a smile at the various oozing wounds your traps laid on Toji's body. Although primitive, your bear traps did well to slow him down before his superhuman healing kicked in.

His words finally kick in and your eyes dart back up but the damage is done. Puzzled, and tickled more than he'd ever admit, by your silence, Toji catches your questionable gaze and lets his head fall ever so slightly towards yours.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you like what you see."

His breath is soft, you notice absentmindedly. Your eyebrows furrow slightly and you stay silent, eliciting a slight head tilt from Toji. Gears turning in your brain, you decide to test a theory. You bring your hands up slow to land like a feather on his chest.

He lets out a rough gasp but it's not enough. If this is real, you need proof. You let your breath fan out on his cheek as you lean in, voice low.

"What if I do? Is there something wrong with that?"

He lets out a shaky laugh, claws still pressed against the rough tartan wool of your shirt. But his arms soften and there's a strange look in his eyes. You were right: the big bad wolf has a little crush on you. Unaware of your inner musings, he answers in a low sarcastic whisper.

"Careful, don't say that too loudly. These woods are full of creatures that aren't as nice as me."

The implications of his words dawn on you.

He's having fun with this.

You've shot at him, trapped his legs, and damn near sent him on a wild goose chase the whole night but that strange twinkle in his eyes is still there. To make matters worse, there's a whole other unsettling side of the coin.

You're having a lot of fun too.

It's been a long time since a bounty made you run like hell.

You're unable to hide the sudden mirth in your eyes so you act quick. Toji barely has enough time to raise a quizzical brow at your sudden gleefulness before you quickly slide a leg behind his -- effectively using his own weight to knock him down to the cold and damp forest floor.

"Argh!" "Fuck-"

You both go down cursing, with you landing squarely on top of Toji's chest. You both blink at each other before Toji lets out a frustrated huff, brandishing his claws to swipe you.

You dodge quickly and in a blind act of adrenaline, you reach for his neck.

Toji's eyes widen immediately and his claws falter. It's enough of a gap for you to grip the thick sides of his fur-covered neck and squeeze as hard as possible. You close your eyes, hiding your face downwards, as you apply pressure with an strangled yell.

You feel Toji's claws retract as his body thrashes and he lets out a moan?

Surprised, you let go momentarily as your head shoots up. The sight that meets you nearly convinces that you died earlier and went to heaven right here on the forest floor.

What meets your eyes is a flushed and heaving Toji, gasping for air. His eyes flutter back and forth between looking at you and rolling back into his head with pleasure. Your eyes wander down, from his chest heaving up and down with every greedy breath he takes down to his crotch where you swear you saw a tent.

You give him an experimental roll of your hips and he keens, a clawed hand immediately grabbing at the plush of your hip.

This position gives you too much access to both of you as you immediately notice the solid warm weight right under your core.

He's rock hard from getting choked out. Stunned, you say the first thing that comes to mind, hands firmly caressing his adam's apple.

"You're kind of a freak."

His usually baritone voice is deliciously raspy when he finally speaks, his splintered laugh sending vibrations through your lower core.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You probably got wet watching me getting stabbed, weirdo."

You're not sure what comes over you when you reply.

"Wanna find out?"

You're about to mutter a half-hearted apology when Toji closes his eyes, a peaceful smile on his features.

He looks good like this, like the world's worries just melt right off his chiseled body.

His face distracts you from the most electrifying hip roll, as Toji grinds his massive bulge against your crotch, electrifying you into a lengthy moan. His canines glint in the moonlight as he grins at your reaction.

"Sure, baby. Do your worst. I'll make you feel good either way."

Your hands start to wander down, of their own accord, to Toji's chest. Like gravity, you're pulled to start a slow unforgiving grind on his dick, feeling the precum leak through his tattered pants. Feeling the cold air hit his neck, Toji hisses as his eyes focus on you. His big hands envelop yours, warmth spreading through them. He looks up at you, his voice wavering slightly, like honey falling through the air.

"Please, baby. Don't-don't stop."

His words spur you on, bringing your hands back to the expanse of his neck only to squeeze down on his airway.

Your reward is immediate as Toji brings up one of his massive thighs for you to rest on and starts to hurriedly undo your pant buttons with his claws.

He starts babbling low grunts of nonsense in between the both of your moans with the only words you make out being "baby" and "so gorgeous".

Before long, he's managed to free your slick core from your garments, leaving your bottom half shivering from both the cold autumn air and the delicate touch of his sharp claws.

You were beautiful to him. From your disheveled hair to the bit of chest peeking out from your shirt to the fat plush of your ass to the way you were desperately grinding against him for just a little more friction, he was entranced.

Unable to wait any longer, you release his neck with one hand and free his cock and heavy balls from the tight pants that shackled them.

Toji groans as you take him in your hand, carefully rubbing the purple knot on top of his dick. You hurriedly position your hips over the knot before he stops you, sweat trickling down his brow.

" 'Preciate the favor, honey but I'm in heat. Just keep grinding against me, I'll manage the rest."

You're equally unamused. Your mouth had been watering since you laid eyes on his cock and especially his heavy balls, overcome with the need to have them slapping against the wet heat of your core. You roll your eyes with a huff and let one of your hands play in the copious hair in his happy trail.

"I know Toji, I did my research."

"Huh. Alright, baby, you know what to do."

He shakes his head in disbelief as his hand snakes down, helping you adjust onto his length.

“Ah..hngh..” Toji’s voice was still raspy from your fight but his moans jolted throughout your body, making his length slide into you inch by inch.

It was all too much but you couldn't bear to run from his dick, clenching around his length every time his thrust pulled away from your sweet spot.

"F-fuck, Tojii" You borderline mewled at him, overwhelmed from pleasure and the feeling of being so full.

Overstimulated from the wet heat of your hole and your beautiful voice crying out for him, Toji lunges forward. He immediately grabs onto your waist, setting a brutal pace that left both of you with tears on your lashes.

Your hands automatically run through the hair on his head and the fur on his back.

"So soft..." You mutter, voice cracking slightly.

Hearing your words, Toji drops his head to leave hot kisses along your neck, collarbone, anywhere he could get his lips on fast enough. As he thrusted, he began leaving deep hickeys all over your chest.

"All mine, aren't you?" Toji muttered.

You squeeze your eyes shut and moan quietly, unable to think of a coherent response. He grins against the sharp bone of your jaw, angling himself to hit that spongy pleasure spot in your core.

"Yeah, all mine, heh." He presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek and you smile, giddy with pleasure.

You paw at him as you feel your orgasm coming up, rolling like a wave out to shore.

Almost like he can read your mind, Toji gently pushes your body over with you on the forest floor and him on top. You hear the sound of twigs snapping as he re-enters your hole, pushing up into your overstimulated body at a rapid pace.

You claw at him desperately, crooning at him softly, "Please, baby, I need you. Please, I need it inside, I want to stay with you".

With a loud groan, Toji kisses you.

It's sloppy, spit and sweat falling into both of your mouths but you wouldn't have it any other way. His tongue prods into your mouth and you bite it playfully. With his tongue working your mouth open and his cock splitting you below, you feel your orgasm crash into you. You moan into Toji's welcoming mouth as your fluids gush, coating both of your crotches in white sticky cum.

Despite his own orgasm seconds from crashing into him, Toji pulls away to check on you, gasping and kissing the surface of your face.

"You still wanna do this, baby?"

You crack an eye open, still coming down from your high.

"Fill me up, Toji, please. Don't you want to cum in me?"

He chuckles, playfully biting your lips as you pout. "Whatever you want, baby." He pulls away, exposing his pretty canines.

"You're gonna be stuck here for a while, pretty girl."

Cum trickles down the side of your legs from your previous orgasm when the fat curve of his cock enters you once again. Aided by the frothy liquids of your orgasm, his balls slap against you as Toji finds your g-spot over and over again.

"H-hah, pretty girl, I-I'm close, if you don't want my knot you have to-ugh, tell me now-ah!" Toji stumbles over his words as you bring his head down to your chest, distracted by the sweet scent of your sweat and cum all around his sense.

"Baby, I already told you, yes-oh!" You can't help but yelp as Toji snarls and bites down on your collarbone, sure to leave a deep purple hickey come tomorrow morning.

An animalistic growl from him leaves you tingling and grabbing at him again, halfway to your second orgasm. You sigh in pleasure, "Right there, just keep going, Toji."

You hear an annoyed huff before an electrifying jolt hits you from your chest. Your back arches immediately as you realize that Toji just pinched your sensitive nipples before laving them with his tongue.

You tug his hair back and Toji pulls off with ease, never stopping his thrusts. Although difficult to tell on his mixed canine feature, his pout deepens.

"Call me baby again."

You grin and raise a brow. "Say please."

Toji's eyebrows furrow before dropping his head to rest in the crook of your neck, thrusts getting more erratic as he gets closer to his orgasm.

His balls hurt too hard for this conversation. Toji could feel his orgasm approaching soon, his cock weeping with precum every time he pulled away from your core.

Not to mention, he feels like he's going crazy with the idea of letting his knot expand in you. Would it make you thrash and moan with pleasure? Would you give him that sickly sweet smile that made his balls ache? Would it make you cum again, completely untouched?

Toji groaned pathetically at that last thought before bringing his gaze back up to your twinkling eyes. If this was the last night he ever had, this would be the perfect view to die for, Toji reckoned. He leaves a playful bite on your shoulder before giving you exactly what you want, his voice low and leering.

"Please, pretty girl."

"That's all I wanted, baby, thank you baby." You coo back almost immediately.

His dark eyes roll back in pleasure as you squeeze around his length, your spit and cum merged into a milky river of slick around the base of his thick cock, overstimulating him beyond reason with every thrust.

You see his jaw grow slack and decide to give him the same orgasmic treatment as you. Bringing him in close by his neck, you kiss him desperately as his orgasm washes over him. You feel his warm cum spurt inside you for what feels like forever, the excess leaking out of your hole, down his balls. and into the dirt below you two.

It takes a minute for Toji to calm himself before you feel something expand inside your core. Alarmed, you grab onto Toji and look at him. Your worries are eased as he looks at you like a puppy that got a treat: enamored and innocent despite his monstrous size. His voice is low but you detect an annoying teasing lilt in his tone.

"Yeah, honey? Don't tell me you don't like it, you're gonna hurt my feelings, sweet girl..." Toji croons into your ear, echoing your taunts from earlier.

You moan brokenly in response, nails digging into his broad shoulders. The knot, although overwhelming, feels delicious. As it stretches your core, the bulbous nature of it prods gently against your g-spot. Dizzy from the pleasure and Toji's dirty voice right against your ear, you orgasm loudly; squirting cum all over Toji's muscled abs, covering them in a sheen of sweat and cum.

"That's it baby, you did so good. My girl did so good," Toji reassures in your ear as you come down from your second orgasm.

You smile earnestly as you tease him. "Your girl? Moving a little fast now, aren't we?"

Toji's smile drops into a deadpan frown.

"Fine, if you can get my dick out of you, you don't have to be my girl."

You slap his chest lightly with a huff. "Okay, relax. Touchy."

He was right though, the knot had adjusted to your orgasm and was comfortably stuck in your core. It would be a few hours until it would go flaccid enough to take out gently. You shrug and wrap your arms around his bare shoulders, hiding from the cold autumnal air.

"Toji?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Round two?"

"Yeah, fuck it, why not."

[freyjas-musings]

"They only react to Gwyn and Azriels voice, this is canon .... it is most likely because they ARE MATES."

Smh. Gwynriels after reading the bonus said that Az's shadows danced with gwyn's breath so that definitely means they are mates. So sjm showed in HOFAS that the shadows dancing is not that big of a deal nor is it a mating bond detector. Now y'all are saying it dances only with Az and gwyn. Like how are you not seeing what sjm did with the Walmart bonus?

Secondly, Azriel was humming the song and that's why his shadows were dancing. Was gwyn singing or humming any songs when the shadows danced with her breath? No. So what were they dancing to? Unless there was some silent music they could hear.

Like I don't know what y'all hope to achieve by pretending that these lines don't exist:

"one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music."

"His shadows had not warned him."

"Even his shadows had calmed."

"Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him."

Why did sjm put so much emphasis on some "silent music" ? Why did clotho saying "I thank you for the joy it shall bring to her." and Azriel immediately seeing that image in his mind "for whatever reason" makes it seem like clotho planted that image in his mind?

So is it us that are not seeing all the pieces of the puzzle or you?

I wrote this long ask because it seemed like you genuinely want to know why Elriels still think gwyn is a lightsinger after reading hofas.

Hello Anon,

This has had to be the most amused I have been .... you basically answered your own questions ...

The shadows reacting positively to Gwyn is not the only reason Gwynriels think they are mates ... his magic reacting positively is one of the reasons... but there are a lot of other common parallels between other mated couples and gywnriel.

And like you pointed out silent music is also basically song between their souls... Mates !!!

Also, didn't you just disprove your own lightsinger nonsense? So she didn't sing ... but the entire lightsinger theory of Elriels hinges on Gwyns "VOICE" luring people ... so she didn't sing ? So she didn't lure the shadows ... they just happen to be love her like they love their master 🤗... See ... you answered your own questions as you went ...

Also while you are shaking you head ... perhaps sit in a position with your head down while you do it? It would help blood circulation and wake those dormant cells in the brain 🤗

"I THANK YOU FOR THE JOY..." 😂😂

Clotho who basically has parallels to a fate saying that.... means there is more to what Gwyn and Az will have to do with each other... Why on earth are you baffled about that ... ????

I am sorry I don't answer lunatic questions so .... for whatever reasons I will be leaving out that nonsense ...

Either ways, see what you want ... do what you want ... kindly stay the fuck out of my way ...

We saw what SJM DID in the Walmart bonus ... she basically proved the shadows dancing is positive and unique to Gwyn and Az ...

Clearly that's what you missed on Glee !!!

Also, you must be new here .... kindly know I have no interest in talking to Elriels for anything ...

When the fuck did I ever ask Elriels for answers ???? 😂😂😂😂.... I know why the lightsinger shit ever came up ... I know who initially came up with the theory ... which few blogs first twisted that nonsense to suit their agenda .... I honestly would never ASK elriels a damn thing ...

Listen, even if I am left on earth with just one other person and that person is an Elriel I wouldn't ask them for answers and explanations.... 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[rock-and-compass]

Angel Season 5 - Episode 15 - A Hole in the World

(I wrote this series of essays many years ago, probably around the time that the season 8 comics were being published. The were originally published on my LiveJournal and I'm reposting them here, mostly for personal archival purposes.)

Consequences are outcomes, both foreseen and unforeseen, that result from a particular decision or action. So far the consequences of the shift to Wolfram and Hart have been largely introspective including adjustments to a new way of doing business, and changes in the dynamics of the team. Angel has probably felt this most acutely; he’s been suffering a severe identity crisis as he tried to come to grips with his new role as CEO of a branch of a huge legal institution and live daily with the secret that he made a very specific deal with the senior partners that included, at his instigation, the suppression of all memories pertaining to Connor, in everyone but himself.  Of course, this means that every day he lives without his son. He has a hole in his world only nobody else realises it. Gunn too has felt the consequences. He agreed to an implant of legal knowledge to be uploaded into his brain. He made the choice and, at first, the consequences seemed all rosy. He became a valuable member of the revamped, corporate-oriented Team Angel and he was able to use his new knowledge to engineer large-scale initiatives against evil. All good until the imprint began to fade. Then he opted to make a deal for a permanent upgrade. What could possibly be wrong with that?

So now, in A Hole in the World the consequences of their tenancy at Wolfram and Hart take a more malevolent turn. It’s a frontal assault, it cuts them to the core – right to the very heart, reminds them who’s house they are in, who’s game they are actually playing. And none of it would have happened if they hadn’t come to Wolfram and Hart in the first place.

A Hole in the World opens with a flashback to Winifred Burkle before she moved to Los Angeles. Here we find a young woman, the product of an idyllic upbringing, who is quietly ambitious and very determined. Not for her are an early marriage and a tribe of sweet little babies. No, she’s off to L.A. into the graduate physics program. “Hell-A” says her father, not overly keen on the relocation of his little girl. No, it’s the “City of Angels” Fred counters, the juxtaposition of the city as both evil and good there for her from the very beginning of the relationship.  She’s about to leave when she remembers to grab her well-loved stuffed rabbit. “I can’t make the trip without Feigenbaum,” Fred says as she clutches the limp bunny close. Feigenbaum, the master of chaos; named for the mathematician and pioneer of chaos theory Mitchell Feigenbaum. So chaos is her constant companion even though she heads to the big smoke with good intentions: 

Fred: I’m gonna study Mom. I’m gonna learn every damn thing they know up there and then figure out some stuff they don’t. And I’ll be careful. I’ll even be dull, boring. Cross my heart.

And she is. Kinda. She studies hard. She works in the public library and life is not very eventful at all except she’s brilliant. So brilliant that her university professor, her mentor, is threatened by her. He can’t stand the competition. As an unfair consequence of her unadulterated genius he sends her into another dimension, to where she will never be a threat to his academic superiority. So her metaphoric companion chaos becomes literal. She spends five long years in Pylea where she is enslaved, hunted and herded, considered a lowly cow. But all the while she tries to engineer her escape. She scratches strings of equations across her cave wall not willing to take this lying down, determined to get back to the life she was torn out of. But it’s not her sums and letters that save her. Angel arrives; handsome man to the rescue and takes her back to Los Angeles, to his world of demons. So L.A. really is Hell-A, or so it must seem; portals and punishment, monsters and magicks. Yet in amongst the weirdness and horror Fred finds a place to call home with Angel and his team, with this dysfunctional demon-fighting family. With them she finds love and acceptance and romance and rescue and a place to use that brain. She finds the ‘City of Angels’ she always dreamt of finding.

Now she’s fighting demons taking out a nest of crystal vomiting creepy-crawlies like its second nature, the most normal, natural thing in the world. It’s strangely romantic – Fred and Wes fighting demons side by side, kissing tenderly in the ambient glow of the burning nest. The harmony of the lovebirds is not matched by our other ‘couple’...

Enter Angel and Spike. They are bickering. Angel is not happy with how Spike chose to kill a particular creature. Well, his complaints are quite justified; Spike just happened to skewer a little beastie while Angel was between it and the tip of his sword. Angel says, very cuttingly, that Spike was only asked along because they felt sorry for him. Spike dismisses the comment (and the sympathy) suggesting that Angel should stop whingeing, after all Angel would be dead if it wasn’t for his intervention. Interesting to note that, for whatever reason, Spike is being asked along on team missions. To think, some would suggest that they are making no progress in their relationship!  Poor Angel can’t get any sympathy, even Fred is less concerned with the stabbing than she is with collecting the bug for her specimen collection. She always likes a new specimen.

Back at the Wolfram and Hart laboratory Knox is working late. A delivery arrives; it’s a heavy stone sarcophagus, fairly plain but for a configuration of five rough-cut crystals, a nautilus-like moulding and various runic engravings. The delivery invoice is slapped on top of the tomb, no signature required, it’s already been signed for.

The next day Gunn is in his office singing “Three Little Maids from School” from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado. Wesley arrives, Gunn quickly adapts the tune to a more hip rap stanza that is not very good but certainly cooler than the operetta. He’s singing because he’s happy. He’s happy that he’s secured his legal knowledge, permanently. He’s happy that he’s ensured the future of Charles Gunn esquire and resigned Charles Gunn, street vigilante to history. Like everyone in the building Charles has heard about the Wesley/Fred thang, there is, in his words “no secrets in the house of pain”. If only he knew the truth.  He gives the union his approval, it’s the civilised thing to do since he and Fred were in love a while back. He also promises to kill Wes ‘like a chicken’ should he ever hurt her.  But there is business to discuss. Gunn has finally managed to track down Lindsey’s former abode, important because of the possibility that he may have left clues as to what other plans he might have been concocting. The Senior Partners didn’t risk leaving him in an accessible place, so it would seem they considered him a threat big enough to deal with personally. Wes suggests that Gunn should be the one to tell Angel of the breakthrough but he blanches at the suggestion:

Gunn: You can tell him. I ain’t going in there

So why would Charles be so reluctant to go and share such promising news? Spike and Angel are fighting, that’s why; arguing with passion and volume and fervour. Angel is talking bollocks; Spike can’t see the big picture. For Angel it’s all about evolution and intelligence and teamwork while Spike champions the power of instinct and primal savagery. 

Wesley: Is this something we should all be discussing? Angel: No Wesley: It just… sounds a little serious. Angel: It was mostly…theoretical. We… Spike: We were just working out a b… Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win? Wesley: You’ve been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this?  ….. Do the astronauts have weapons? Angel and Spike: No!

So this is what it’s all about - cavemen versus astronauts; or in other words, instinct versus intellect, antiquity versus modernity, savagery versus reason, body versus spirit, self-reliance versus teamwork, and superstition versus science.  The list could go on. Angel clearly identifies with the astronaut and Spike with the caveman. It goes back to their core vampire personalities. For Angelus, killing was an art form; it required thought and planning and reason. It raised him above the primitive; but Spike liked it against the odds, back against the wall, nothing but fists and fangs so relied on brute force and primal instinct.

But take a closer look, take off the costumes and the coats and what have we got? Back at the very beginning Liam was a creature who lived for visceral pleasure and was driven by the need to satisfy his basic urges. It was a way of life that precluded him from forming meaningful connections and to misunderstand the intentions of his father. William on the other hand, was highly reasoned. Thought and words were his daily currency. When he professed his love to Cecily he did so with carefully considered, reasoned arguments. He walked in worlds the others couldn’t begin to imagine, the embodiment of a nineteenth century ‘astronaut’. And if we look again it is fairly plain that neither Angel nor Spike can claim membership to their chosen sect exclusively. Angel, who claims solidarity with the team-working ideals of the astronauts, in reality struggles with the concept and continuously fights his own desire to be a solitary creature. Yes he surrounds himself with a team, he’s got a loyal following but he’s also notorious for acting alone, for side-stepping team involvement and for making high-handed decisions for the ‘good’ of others. Ironically, it is Spike, our devout ‘caveman’ who is really good at teamwork, despite frequent assertions that he ‘doesn’t play well with others’. Time and time again we have seen him seek out a ‘team’ whether he be evil, chipped or souled. Spike can’t live without connections. Despite the carefully constructed facades, it is Angel who fights to control his monstrous instincts, the ones that cry out for blood and death and mischief while Spike and his considered, chosen soul has his instincts completely under reign. Now he makes intellectual use of his instincts. That’s progress, that evolution. 

So who is the caveman and who is the astronaut? 

That’s the point really; Angel and Spike may be arguing furiously for one side or the other but the truth is they, like everyone, are both caveman and astronaut. During the course of this episode we’ll see it. We’ll see each and every modern, rational, intelligent member of the team release their inner caveman and some point in proceedings. 

Back in the lab Fred has arrived and is inspecting her mystery gift. There are no clues as to where it came from and the invoice has mysteriously disappeared courtesy of Knox. But he distracts us from his sinister double-dealing by being so nice to Fred about her new romance which is on every Blackberry in the building. Getting back to business, Knox asks if she wants a Hazmat team called in to give the box the once over. Fred the sensible scientist agrees all caution should be taken with it. But once alone, Fred’s Achilles heel, her primal instinct to know, kicks in. Curiosity gets the better of her. It calls to her, beckons her to touch and explore. It is her doom. She touches one of the crystals and instantaneously the shell-like device reacts sending a plume of ancient, foul air and dust and particles into Fred’s face, down her nasal passage, into her lungs, into her body.

Angel has sent for Spike, pulled him out of a promising poker game in accounts receivable specifically. Spike is obviously hanging out at Wolfram and Hart with some regularity. And why wouldn’t he? It’s a good place to be, what with the necro-tempered glass, friendly faces who accept his kind, there’s the odd job that allows him to dip his foot in the game now and again and there’s Angel, his brother/father with whom he longs for a connection beyond their shared history. But the summons isn’t exactly what he bargained on:

Angel: Look, I can’t do this anymore Spike: Admitting defeat are you? Angel: You and me. This isn’t working out. Spike: Are you saying we should start annoying other people? Angel: I’m saying you should go.

Spike accuses him of not being able to stomach the competition but Angel refutes this and says that’s not the reason and then says a lot of stuff about Spike being attached to the place but never really explains exactly why he’s decided that it’s time for Spike to go. So what is the reason? Why send Spike away now? Is it the competition? Is it that Spike has just gotten too irritating to cope with? Or is it that Spike is too close, so close that he threatens the isolated caveman that resides at the core of Angel? 

…Or… 

or … 

Is it the danger? Is it that Angel knows that this branch of Wolfram and Hart is an inherently dangerous place to be, more dangerous than a crippled submarine on the bottom of the  ocean? And Angel knows, or must at least be beginning to suspect, that the worst is yet to come thanks to Cordelia’s kiss. Could this attempt to get rid of Spike be the equivalent of an eight mile swim before sunrise specifically designed to get his ‘offspring’ out of harm’s way? Because it’s not a dismissal, it’s not Angel saying ‘fuck off, I’ve had enough of you’, no; it’s done with an admission and care:

Angel: …I’ll give you the resources you need to go anywhere; cars, gadgets, expense accounts. You fight the good fight, but…in style. And, if possible in outer Mongolia. Spike: Roving agent. Sort of a 007 without the poncy tux. Go anywhere I want? Angel: Anywhere, everywhere Spike: Anywhere but here.

This time Angel doesn’t send him off with nothing but his ‘life’, this time he offers him the world. 

The astronaut versus caveman debate has gripped the office. Fred and Lorne discuss the inequity in weapon allocation, what with the caveman having fire and all, when they run into Wesley who was looking for an excuse to come and see Fred. She has just been to medical to have a cautionary examination after breathing in the mummy dust but she’s been sent back to work, everything seems fine. Lorne begins to sing “You are my Sunshine” as he leaves the new couple to their sweet-talk. Fred finishes the line singing to Wesley ‘You make me happy…’

The instant she sings the words Lorne stops and swings around to look at Fred, horror etched across his green face. A mere second later Fred coughs, blood bubbles from her mouth and splatters across Wesley’s face. Fred falls backwards into Lorne’s ready arms and begins convulsing as Wesley calls frantically for medical assistance.

Fred wakes in the medical room at Wolfram and Hart. She’s surrounded by ‘her boys’, Wesley, Charles, Angel, Lorne, Spike and Knox. They are reassuring and down-playing the severity of her situation. She’s not deceived; she’s smarter than the lot of them put together. She knows it’s bad. Still, her knights in shining armour all promise to work it, shouldn’t take long:

Fred: Handsome man saves me. Angel: That’s how it works. Let’s get cracking

Wesley stays behind, reassures her that even though he must go and be ‘book man’ he’ll be with her in a heartbeat should she need him for anything. He kisses her tenderly on the forehead. The exchange is witnessed by Angel and Spike:

Angel: Wes and Fred? Spike: You didn’t know? Angel: I didn’t know

Connections, disconnectedness… Angel, for all the love and loyalty of his team, fails to observe their lives and the events that shape them. He’s simply not attuned to human emotions. 

Once out of Fred’s hearing the kid gloves come off:

Angel: some parasitic agent is working its way through. I mean, as near as they can tell… Wesley: Get to the point Angel: Her organs are cooking. In a day’s time, they’ll liquefy

It’s as bad as it could be. They need answers where there are few to be found. They start with the sarcophagus.

Wesley: Where did it come from? Knox: It just showed up. No return address. Didn’t recognise the guy who bought it in – come to think of it, in the middle of the night. Angel: This was deliberate Lorne: Senior partners? Gunn: Doesn’t add up, but I’ll hit the white room. Talk to the conduit Angel: Now look, if the Senior partners didn’t do this, you gotta get them to help us.

Gunn doesn’t want to think that his benefactors could be behind this, Angel doesn’t want them to be the culprits either – he wants their help and the strings they can pull. So they all play to their strengths; Gunn goes to the white room, Wes hits the books, Knox takes care of the science and Angel is looking to work the streets. Spike adds the suggestion of looking up Lindsey – after all, the man knew a bit about them all and liked to play games. Angel concurs and as there’s muscle work to do, why not make it twice as fast.  Spontaneously Spike and Angel form a team, a partnership. They unite with a common purpose, fights, irritations and dismissals forgotten. 

Wesley is busy with research, looking up anything and everything in his magical source books that may lead him to answers. He looks fairly calm, considering. Another employee comes to his office door to ask about another matter unrelated to Fred:

Wesley: It can wait W&H employee: These guys are really important. I just need…I mean, the whole company can’t be working Miss Burkle’s case. Wesley: Of course.

Wesley then calmly reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out a gun and shoots the man in the knee. Huh, so much for the calm. It’s an irrational, passion fuelled, instinctual act. Wesley’s inner caveman makes an appearance. The shooting achieves nothing of course, except that it makes Wes feel momentarily in control of a situation that he knows is beyond his control and it serves as a warning to other employees who would not give Fred’s situation due diligence. 

In the white room it seems deserted, like nothing has changed. But it has. There is a new conduit in residence and it’s exactly like looking in a mirror. When Angel and the gang were first given the tour of Wolfram and Hart (in A4.22, Home) Charles was surprised to learn that the firm had plans for him, big plans. He got taken to the white room, he was bemused. He said they had the wrong guy; that this place was for the big cats. Before the words were out of his mouth a big black panther arrived ready to communicate. The form of the conduit is determined by the viewer. The belief that the white room was the domain of the ‘big cats’ resulted in a big cat as conduit. Now Gunn is a big cat, now he has power and influence and he doesn’t need to conjure images of giant felines. Now he sees himself. He’s part of Wolfram and Hart, body and soul and he wants that power working for him to get Fred out of trouble. But the conduit version of Gunn is not warm or fuzzy or cooperative:

Conduit: This is the part where I need to be clear. I am not your friend. I am not your flunky. I am your conduit to the senior partners, and they are tired of your insolence. Oh yeah. They are not here for your convenience.

Gunn doesn’t want to ask a favour, he’s prepared to make a deal; the conduit is not interested. Deals are for the devil it tells Charles cuttingly.

Gunn: You want someone else? A life for hers, you’ll get it. You can have mine! Conduit: I already do.

So the Senior Partners are not coming to the party. Not so surprising when you remember that Gunn’s initial upgrade was designed specifically to be temporary. It was expected that he would have to make some kind of deal to get the permanent fix. This suggests that either, A) the senior partners have engineered the intricate series of events that have led to Fred’s infection or B) the manoeuvring of the sarcophagus into Wolfram and Hart was coincidental and they are actively choosing not to assist Fred. In both cases the Senior Partners are willing to see Winifred Burkle sacrificed to achieve their own objective which would be to remove the Fred-shaped Jenga piece from the Team Angel tower. It’s a load bearing piece, a unifying force that, once removed, will make the tower very precarious indeed. Spike, they would assist (in Hell Bound) because his very presence assisted them in their aim. He was an unforeseen bonus who chipped away at Angel’s already fractured foundations, his self-belief and certainty of purpose. Unlucky for her, Fred’s value lies in her removal. By taking her away they make an assault on hope, they demoralise and destabilise the team by destroying unity and functionality making it more likely that they will work within the system rather than against it and thus nullifying their influence in the world completely. Objective achieved.

Of course, an alternative reading is that the Doctor who performed Charles’ brain upgrade was playing his own deep game all along and that the senior partners were ignorant of his movements. Perhaps the Doctor used the Senior Partner sanctioned brain upgrade for his own purposes, deliberately making it temporary, deliberately manoeuvring Charles Gunn into having to make a deal to get permanence. Perhaps the Senior Partner’s conduit is just mightily pissed off that they got played by one of their own. But still, it doesn’t negate the notion that Fred’s demise works in the firm’s favour.  

Angel, Spike and Lorne search Lindsey’s apartment for any indication that he is behind the delivery of the tomb. Instead they find Eve. She is a wreck, hiding behind the protective symbols that still decorate the walls, wearing nothing but her lover’s shirt. Angel’s not that interested in her and cuts right to the chase:

Angel: Fred’s dying; some mystical parasite. Ring a bell?

She denies all knowledge saying the scheme has nothing to do with either her or Lindsey. The very mention of his name has her salivating. Have they heard from him, know anything about him? The all-knowing, smugly powerful liaison to the senior partners has been reduced to a pathetic, abandoned girlfriend. The boys start to lose patience with her lack of cooperation but Eve argues:

Eve: Why would we do anything to Fred? Why would we even care about her?

And it is too much. Peace-loving, caritas-driven Lorne punches her with instinctual savagery. The caveman within, brought out by anger at the suggestion that their beloved Fred is too insignificant to be of any concern or importance. He requests a song, so he can read her emotions but threatens:

Lorne: …if I hear one note, one quarter note, that tells me you had any involvement, these two won’t even have time to kill you.

Eve sings. It’s the first line of Lindsey’s ‘L.A. Song’ which he performed to great effect at Caritas when his disillusionment with Wolfram and Hart was really beginning to set in (see A2.18, Dead End). She reads clean. She’s got nothing to do with the sarcophagus. Spike intimates that they should trade her for some practical assistance from the senior partners; she’d be a hell of a bargaining chip. The threat brings forth some information:

Eve: No. They can’t help you. I mean it. If you’re talking about a sarcophagus that doesn’t match anything in our records, there’s nothing that’s not in our records except what came before. The Old Ones. Angel: the original demons, before humankind. They were all driven out of this dimension. Eve: The ones that were still alive. But long before that they were killing each other all the time and they don’t die the way we do. Wesley may not know it but his source books can conjure up anything, not just our own stock. Tell him to look for the texts that are forgotten, the oldest scrolls. You need to find the Deeper Well.

Eve’s tip pays off. Wesley is able to discover that the thing that has infected Fred is called ‘Illyria’. It was a great monarch and warrior of the demon age, murdered by rivals and left adrift in the Deeper Well, a burial ground for the remnants of the old ones and now it is engineering its rebirth using Fred as its cocoon. But luckily, it is written that if something gets out of the Well then it can be drawn back there from the source. The Well is in England and the Wolfram and Hart jet can get Angel there in just four hours (they have really good jets). Wesley remains working, close to Fred while Lorne decides to pray, thus adopting the ‘superstitious’ behaviour of the primitives so abhorred and denigrated by sophisticated scientists. Time is not on their side. Nobody is on their side. They have the forces of evil working against them. They seem so tiny and insignificant but there’s work to be done and the obstacles don’t deter. They’re champions; that’s what they do.

Angel: Come on. Let’s save the day.

Angel and Spike exit together. Words are unnecessary to organise roles or delegate duties, to ask for or offer assistance. It’s instinctual.

Wesley goes to check on Fred but her bed is empty. She is in her lab trying to work the damn problem 

Fred: I have to work. Angel: You have to lie down. Fred: I am not…I am not the damsel in distress. I am not some case! I have to work this. I lived in a cave for five years in a world where they killed my kind like cattle. I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu. I am better than that! – But I wonder…how very scared I am

That was always her job, to be the ‘science girl’. She doesn’t want to let the team down, they need her brains. She needs her brains! She wants to be proactive about saving herself – who better to find a solution than her? But Wesley suggests there are other ways of fighting, like lying down, resting, conserving her strength. She collapses, her energy sapped by her scientific exertions. She senses the inevitability of her situation:

Fred: This is a house of death.  That can be any book you need? Wesley: Every one. Fred: Then bring it. Take me home.

In the jet, Spike fidgets with his seatbelt. While Angel looks out the window with hesitation. Neither looks particularly happy or comfortable with the situation. Spike admits that he has never flown in a plane before. The expected derogatory comment after such a frank admission of fear never eventuates. Instead, Angel answers with empathy by conceding that he’s been in a helicopter only once but it didn’t go this high. It’s encouraging, so much so that Spike suggests a date, a visit to the West End to take in a show once Fred is ‘rescued’. The conversation is at odds with the seriousness of their journey but it is an expression of support and innate belief, at least on Spike’s part, that they’ll get it done. Angel accepts the offer, suggests a particular show then confides his deepest fear in his newly discovered pillar of strength:

Angel: Can’t lose her Spike. Spike: We won’t. Angel: I lost Cordy.

Spike’s recent experience has been with a team that wins whatever the odds. He brings that expectation with him. Angel knows otherwise. He knows you don’t always win and that there are losses; he’s had some big ones. It’s all too eerily familiar. It's also worth noting that only to Spike does Angel mention Cordelia and allow a glimpse of what her loss means to him. 

Back at the office Gunn is trying to get some powerful mystical healers on board to help Fred. They are reluctant, they fear the Old Ones. By threatening a ‘world of hurt’ Gunn is utilising his inner caveman to try and force cooperation. It’s not too successful. Caveman Gunn and his tactics are closely related to ‘old’ Gunn and ‘old’ Gunn simply doesn’t belong in the corporate world of astronaut Gunn. Ironically, it was once he confirms that he’s not talking about slamming them with legal action that his contact hangs up the phone in his ear. Once they know it is just an empty threat of physical violence they metaphorically laugh in his face. Knox arrives with the suggestion that they should freeze Fred at their cryogenics department. He theorises that this would stop the infection in its tracks and this will buy them time to figure out how to save her. It sounds absurd of course, but at this point Gunn is getting desperate, he’s willing to try anything and Knox, well he’s a true astronaut isn’t he? Scientific, knowledgeable; what’s not to trust?

Fred wakes in her own bed. It was a short nap but she’s mildly indignant at the precious hour of life that she has lost. She wants noise to keep her anchored to life but Wes is confident that Angel and Spike will prevail; he shouldn’t like to be the thing that stands in their way. Spike and Angel, in that moment, seem larger than life, like legendary heroes of myth and antiquity but it was Wesley, it was ‘book man’ who provided the map for their quest. Suddenly Fred gets anxious:

Fred: I – I have to find him. He’s the master of—I have to have Feigenbaum here!

But when Wes asks who Feigenbaum is, she can’t answer because she doesn’t remember. She’s starting to lose connections to herself. And she is worried about how she looks and Wesley assures her she’s beautiful, the most beautiful thing in the world. So she calms down and Wes reads to her, not from Dread host’s Compendium of Immortal Leeches but from The Little Princess by Frances Hodgeson-Burnett. Research and higher thinking and looking for a solution to an unsolvable problem are abandoned in favour of instinctual comfort and respect for the sanctity of coming death. That’s not to say that there is no hope, that Wes has given up, no far from it, he’s placed his faith in the ‘champions’, in Angel and Spike but he recognises that his job in this is not to look for intellectual reasoning but to offer instinctual emotional support to the woman he loves.

Angel and Spike walk through a foggy parkland in the Cotswolds looking for the entrance to the Deeper Well. They come across a large tree with a twisted, misshapen trunk and Angel is sure that it’s the doorway they are looking for (well, either that or Christmas Land says Spike and Angel is completely clueless as to the reference being made. Which one of them is championing modernity again?) As they approach the door they are attacked by ogres, the guards of the Well:

Spike: And they even bought us weapons. Strategy? Angel: just hold my hand (Spike does as requested without hesitation) Spike: Saint Petersburg. Angel: I thought you’d forgotten.

Old habits die hard and see, they can be transferred to the new regime. Angel and Spike work together very effectively and very efficiently. Angel hasn’t forgotten how they used to combine forces back in the day, only now he’s prepared to accept that their vampire tactics, their shared history can be put to good use once more now that they are on the same side again. In his pocket he had a length of wire, all he had to do was ask Spike to hold his hand to unleash a tried and true stratagem that has worked for them in the past (though one can only wonder with horror exactly what they were doing in St. Petersburg that necessitated the use of the wire). It works wonderfully this time too; when they pull the wire tight it allows them to decapitate the first rush of guards and to appropriate their weapons.

Knox’s idea is a bust. Even freezing won’t stop this virus. And even though we know the scientist is somehow involved in the whole plot (because of that ‘missing’ invoice thing) he does seem genuinely conflicted, like he would like to be the ‘white knight’ in the scenario, reverse everything that is happening to Fred if it were to mean that she would return his affections. But he can’t and she doesn’t. So he settles for allowing his ‘God’ to re-birth itself through Fred so he can love it in her image. Gunn catches the word ‘it’, Knox said “I practically worship it” and it makes all the difference. Knox tries to explain, he chose Fred because he loved her, because she was worthy. Would he want his God to hatch out of some schmuck? Gunn wants him to stop it, taunts him that Angel will stop it but Knox is dubious:

Knox: This was all set in motion millions of years ago Charles, and there’s just no way to stop it. Gunn: Angel and Spike? Knox: Oh, they’re really on the right track, but it doesn’t matter. Angel’s not gonna save her Gunn: You don’t know Angel Knox: I’m not being clear. I don’t mean that Angel is gonna fail to save her, I mean he’s gonna let her die.

Knox is excited now. His plans are coming to fruition. He’s all too willing to share details with the dumbfounded attorney. Illyria was a great power, so great that after millions of years it still has loyal acolytes in the world. Knox certainly qualifies as such. In a pre-ordained plot to return to power,  the tomb teleported out of the Well back to the geographic location of the seat of its power. But continents shifted and where it ended up wasn’t where it needed to be to complete its plan. Knox, Illyria’s faithful servant, sought out and returned the sarcophagus to the kingdom only to get caught out by a twenty-first century hurdle; getting the ancient relic through customs. 

Knox: But you took care of that. You signed the order to bring it into the lab so you could get another brain boost. Like I said, I’m just one small part of a great machine.

Gunn is thrown . . . he’s devastated and disgusted that he is up to his neck in this. Consequences; his actions, his decisions have dealt a death sentence. He is revolted but clings to the increasingly unlikely hope that Angel can save her, that Angel can save him from this burden. Yet, amidst all the guilt, the primal sense of self-preservation is strong; as Knox excitedly expounds the enormity of the event they are both part of Charles grabs a heavy metal canister and swings it into Knox’s head, knocking him out cold.  He then hoists the cylinder high over his head, pauses, looks sideways, first one way then the other, then brings the improvised weapon crashing down in an attack that is both brutal and primitive. Nobody needs to know anything about his part in this now. 

Spike and Angel finish off the last of the guards Angel: Is that all? We haven’t even started!  And a man appears saying that it’s enough. Angel knows him; his name is Drogyn. He is the keeper of the Well, has been for decades. Spike: Well who in the bloody- Drogyn: Do not ask me a question!  If you ever ask me a single question, I will kill you outright. Don’t think for a moment that I can’t

Spike’s question never gets answered. We don’t ever discover the history of Drogyn or how he and Angel knew each other, or how he came to be caretaker of the Well. The most we get is mutual surprise at the others circumstances:

Drogyn: I would never have thought you’d end up here Angel. Angel: I could say the same.

Perhaps Drogyn was evil once too, and knew Angelus back in the day. Perhaps he’s seeking redemption as well, serving his penance by guarding the long dead demon overlords. Who knows? But even though we know next to nothing about him we have to trust him; he cannot lie. Only truth passes his lips. Maybe he was cursed too? Drogyn leads the boys into the Well he knows they are there about Illyria so gives them some insight:

Drogyn: …The Old Ones were demons pure. They warred as we would breathe  - endlessly. The greater ones were interred, for death was not always their end. Illyria was feared and beloved as few are. It was laid to death in the very depths of the well…until it disappeared a month ago. Spike: Someone took it from under your nose a month ago and you didn’t miss it till now? That makes you quite the crap jailer, doesn’t it… Also a statement! Drogyn: Your friend likes to talk. Angel: So much he’s even right sometimes. The man I remember couldn’t be stolen from so easily.

It’s quite a contrast from earlier in the season (think of when they were both talking to the doctor in Damage), where once Angel might have said something along the lines of “don’t mind the idiot” now he gives Spike unqualified support. But Drogyn says the tomb wasn’t stolen. It was a pre-destined escape plan (as Knox explained). Once the trio enter the well chamber, Drogyn can easily be forgiven for not noticing the absence immediately; his charges are not few. An endless pit is lined with thousands upon thousands of tombs, sarcophagi and coffins. It goes all the way through, all the way through to the other side of the world. 

Angel and Spike discover that the power to draw Illyria back to its proper resting place is some kind of ancient magic that requires a champion who has travelled from where it resides to where it belongs.

Angel: You got two of those right here.

So Spike gets the recognition, the affirmation that he’s wanted for so long as Angel finally admits what he’s known since Spike emerged from the amulet and it didn’t hurt a bit. But it’s not enough to save Fred. The essence of the demon has already been released:

Drogyn: If we bring the sarcophagus back to the well it will draw Illyria out of your friend…and into every single person between here and there. It will become the mystical equivalent of airborne. It will claw into every soul in its path to keep from being trapped. Entire cities, tens, maybe hundreds of thousands will die in agony if you save her.

It’s madness and Spike and Angel are floored. It’s a horrible, impossible choice; their beloved Fred or thousands of nameless strangers. Drogyn says he’ll prepare the spell, pretends they’ve got a choice. Angel goes along with the charade, just for a moment, out of sheer anger:

Angel: To hell with the world!

Poor Angel, reason and rationality desert him temporarily because he’s sick to death of losing the people he loves and he’s tired of thinking about ‘everyone’ when all he wants to do is protect what’s left of his family. In the world of the caveman it’s each man for himself. It’s brutal and unforgiving. Rational thought has no place. Spike is looking down into the well trying to understand the incomprehensible. Angel turns to him, all he says is “Spike” but it overflows with vulnerability and resignation; he knows there is no way they can save her, that they have no right to sacrifice so many to salvage one. He turns to Spike to try and explain…but Spike already knows, never pretended it was otherwise. Yet he doesn’t let Angel say the actual words. He protects Angel with lyrical thought that he speaks with sad enlightenment and awe:

Spike: This goes all the way through to the other side. So, I figure, there’s a bloke somewhere around New Zealand standing on a bridge like this one, looking back down at us. All the way down. There’s a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.

Things are getting worse for Fred. The light hurts her eyes but it's proof she’s alive. She struggles with delirium and it’s bright and hollow and the cavemen win, of course the cavemen win! Pain grips her; her skin is hardening, squeezing the life out of her. Wesley tries to administer relief but the needle won’t pierce, it bends and snaps. She recoils from Wesley’s comforting touch. He feels helpless. Once the spasm of pain passes she calms, is weak but lucid. She is able to identify the root of the problem:

Fred: Why did we go there? Why did we think we could beat it? It’s evil Wesley. It’s bigger than anything. 

And suddenly she’s terrified and she’s crawling up the bed as if trying to escape, staving off capture. She begins talking, almost like she’s communicating with the thing that is slowly taking over her body:

Fred: I’m with him! He won’t leave me now. We’re so close

Wesley will not leave until it’s done. They were so close to love and a future. So close but yet so far. Illyria will not leave either. It is so close, oh so close to achieving its destiny.

Wesley holds Fred and they kiss and share words of love. Fred is scared, petrified, though determined to be thought of as otherwise. She wants her parents told that she wasn’t scared. She wants them to know she was brave. She repeats the words “I’m not scared”, trying desperately to will them to be true. As she slips away her fight and bravado flags; she goes limp in Wesley’s arms and asks piteously:

Fred: Please Wesley, why can’t I stay?

And stillness descends as death comes. Wesley cries and holds Fred’s body close, mourning her loss. While she’s cradled in his arms ice sets across Fred’s still open hazel eyes. They crack and crystallise and turn blue. The body shudders to life with violent spasms throwing Wesley off the bed and flinging itself backwards onto the floor where it continues to convulse. Wesley is horrified. ‘Fred’ stands up; but it is not Fred. Its hair is blue, its skin is tinged azure too, and its eyes are cold. It looks at its hand experimentally flexing the fingers and gives it verdict:

Illyria: This will do.

Next up: Angel 5.16 - Shells

[profoundbondfanfic]

Do you have any fics that a very gender? Very confronts toxic masculinity in a moving way? Bonus points for 🏳️‍⚧️

I have to say it was a bit of a challenge to decode this ask so we've decided to do something general and hopefully some of these are what you were asking for. Here are some recs with fics that feature trans!characters in a meaningful way or focus on gender roles.

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by bleuzombie [Mature, 5k words] #trans!dean

Dean has done the work to be comfortable with who himself but some reassurance from his boyfriend Castiel goes a long way as they head to a concert. Dean never dreamed he would be so lucky to find someone who could love him for all of him, panties and all.

love in the time of quarantine by sharkfish [Explicit, 6k words] #trans!castiel

Dean says, “We should have sex.” Cas chokes and looks up at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” “We should have sex,” Dean repeats, carefully enunciating each word. Cas keeps staring at him blankly. “It’s fun and you’re hot. Perfect quarantivity.”

Made Manifest by schmerzerling [Mature, 6k words] #trans!dean

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

Mira Mira by vipjuly [Teen, 22k words] #gender fluidity

Castiel is forced to retire from being the world's most prolific and successful hired gun. He gets dropped off at Winchester B&B with a vague notion to 'find himself', but he's having a hard time understanding first of all: what that means, and secondly: how to even do that. The proprietor of Winchester B&B, Dean, a retired ex Fed, seems to have some ideas of his own.

Novaks, Rebooted by violue [Explicit, 57k words] #trans!claire

A single father, his trans daughter, a whole new life in The Golden State.

Sometimes You Have to Lose to Win by zeppazariel [Explicit, 55k words] #trans!dean

The thing is, Dean is okay with being bisexual. He’s come to terms with it, ya know? He’s got eyes, and he can see that men are hot sometimes; whatever, not a big deal. He’s perfectly fine with it. In theory. Not so much in practice. Dudes are a no-no, outside of looking. He’s not budging on this one, so it’s with confidence that he announces, “There ain’t a guy in the world who’s going to change my mind, Sam.” “You’re tempting the universe to make fun of you again,” Sam sing-songs. “The universe doesn’t have shit to do with this,” Dean argues. Sam hums. “Whatever you say, man.” But, as it turns out, the universe has a lot to do with this, and it never really misses a chance to mock him, drag him down, kick him while he’s curled into a fetal position, then take him out back and shoot him while laughing cruelly at his misery. Meeting Cas is precisely what that feels like.

BONUS: a/b/o fics that focus on gender roles

Aromatic Adjectives Need Not Apply by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 4k words]

Castiel was an Alpha, despite what everyone always guessed upon meeting him. He was tall, and he had the stern and imposing profile, but, to most people, those Alpha traits were where it ended. He had a lithe, runner’s frame, with trim waist and thick thighs. “Child-bearing hips” he’d been told. Though, obviously, no children would be born of him. This scuffling man, though. He was... round. Potentially child-bearing. And Castiel was sure his true mate wasn’t either of the other two men. Or Castiel is an Alpha that doesn't believe in true mates but sniffs one out anyway.

Butch by tiamatv [Explicit, 54k words]

When the flower shop owner sweeps his fingers through his hair, he nearly knocks the flowers tucked behind his left ear off; he spends a fussy moment readjusting them with both hands. “I don’t need to be rescued. Especially not by a stranger.” Sheesh. Touchy. But since Dean would have flashed fangs if anyone had thought he couldn’t take care of his own damned self, he can’t be throwing any stones. He shrugs—big and exaggerated, both hands up. "Not sayin’ you did. Look, not your fault that God put alpha brains at the base of their dicks." The lowered blue eyes snap back to his. Flower Boy inhales with his lips parted, all pretense at not sniffing Dean out gone, and his eyes go wider. Dean might not dress or act or look like any kind of sweet little omega, but he knows just what he smells like: really fucking inviting.

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel [Explicit, 65k words]

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha. Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to? By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever..... Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

[ofthecaravel]

If Walls Could Talk

The second part to a Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka oneshot cause I'm a damn dirty liar

Part 1

Summary: Jake and Josh are convinced Sam has a secret, so they rope Danny (the secret) into their investigation.

Tags: Brotherly plotting, goofs, minor steaminess towards the end

Words: 3k

A/N: Yeahhh I decided to expand on this idea. I got the idea of Jake and Josh getting involved and being goofuses and couldn't resist. And maybe I have plans for future installments...

~~~

Sam had been 21 for a month now, and something was horribly wrong.

“Alright, I want theories,” Josh said, throwing his bag on a chair as the door to Jake’s apartment slammed behind him and he collapsed on the couch. “Go.”

“Demonic possession,” Jake answered immediately, spinning in his computer chair to face his brother. “Ghost possession.”

“Mmm, I’m not sure,” Josh countered. “Haven’t seen his head spin yet.”

“Doesn’t mean it hasn’t.”

“So true, so true,” Josh muttered, wrinkling his nose in thought. “I was thinking cult indoctrination. We don’t know what he’s being taught at that fancy shmancy school of his. All old, prestigious universities have at least one underground society.”

“They’d be getting to him kind of late,” Jake pointed out. “If I wanted to rope someone into my cult, I’d get them when they were a freshman, not a senior.”

“A cult would explain the cheerfulness, though,” Josh argued, kicking his legs up against the wall, his curls grazing the carpet as he looked up at his twin’s upside down face. “What with the love bombing and all. He’s just so uncharacteristically…”

“Bubbly,” Jake finished for him, giving sarcastic jazz hands. “Bright and happy!”

“I’m so glad it’s not just me who noticed,” Josh said, recalling how his lunch with Sam just hours before had gone by without a single complaint about…well, anything. Usually, Sam had a list of gripes about his professors, his classmates, or his job in the chem lab that he’d go through. But this time, he had just cheerfully tucked into a big cranberry salad and babbled about the many petri dishes he was tending to for his capstone class. 

“We need to consider plain old hysteria,” Jake offered, thinking about how he had taken Sam and Danny out for brunch in the afternoon after the party and observed how the dark cloud that usually accompanied Sam’s hangovers had been noticeably absent. Now that he thought about it, Sam hadn’t seemed hungover at all. He had been practically bouncing out of the booth, giggling and bothering Danny every 3 seconds between bites of pancake. It wasn’t unusual for him to bug Danny, but it had been a little much even for him. Jake had even asked around to see if anybody at the party remembered giving Sam any kind of upper, but he had only been more confused to hear the overwhelming majority had barely even seen Sam that night. Putting pieces together, Jake suddenly sat upright and his eyebrows shot up.

“You don’t think he has a…?” Jake trailed off, Josh picking up what he was insinuating and clumsily climbing back onto the couch so he could see Jake face to face.

“A girlfriend?” Josh whispered, and Jake couldn’t help but let out a low whistle at the possibility. He crossed his legs and arms, his foot bouncing as they quietly pondered the thought. Sam wasn’t one to keep a girlfriend for more than a month. But he had always been a little perkier when he was dating someone, so it wasn’t out of the question.

“Do you think we’d know her?” 

“No way,” Josh said, shaking his head. “Probably one of the super smart nerd babes in one of his classes. I don’t think he’d ever get together with anybody outside of school. He likes girls with brains.”

“And heart,” Jake added. “He’s actually kind of a romantic when he’s not being entirely insufferable.”

“Ew.”

“I know.”

“This is so crazy,” Josh marveled. “Do you think he knows we know?”

“No way,” Jake laughed. “He definitely thinks he’s being subtle.”

“Sam is as subtle as a groan tube.”

“Amen to that,” Jake agreed, slapping his knees and getting to his feet. “I need a beer. Want one?”

“Let’s toast to Sammy and his little girlfriend!” Josh crowed, reaching a hand out and catching the can with shocking grace when Jake tossed it from the kitchen. 

“Cheers!” Jake cheered, clinking his can loudly against Josh’s with a celebratory whoop. “You know who we should ask about this?”

“Oh yeah!” Josh hummed through a sip. “That’s a great idea.”

“If anyone would know what’s going on-”

“It’s Danny.”

~~

“Would you happen to know why Josh is spam calling me?”

Danny was laying on his bed with Sam sprawled over top of him, his cheek resting on his chest while they watched a show on his terrible, small TV. This was a new routine of theirs and it was quickly becoming one of his favorites. He selfishly wished that Sam would just stay with him in his crappy little apartment all day everyday just so Danny could devote as much time as possible to raking his fingers through his soft hair and blowing raspberries on the top of Sam’s head that made him squeal in outrage. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on the show and his gorgeous best friend in his arms when his phone on the nightstand kept ringing repeatedly, the vibrations buzzing furiously on the wood like a fly in his ear. Everytime he checked, it was Josh’s contact photo flashing on the screen.

“Beats me,” Sam mumbled against Danny’s shirt. 

“Should I pick it up? He never calls me,” Danny worried, watching his phone start rattling a new round of his ringtone. “Maybe it’s serious.”

“Nah,” Sam drawled, smacking Danny’s hand so his phone fell back on the nightstand. “If it was serious, he’d call me first. More hair playing, please and thank you.”

“That might be the first time I’ve heard you say either of those words,” Danny teased and Sam harrumphed in protest, gently smacking Danny’s face next. “Hey!”

“You’re being a bad cuddler,” Sam whined, nuzzling his cheek more against Danny’s chest and fidgeting. Danny scoffed and smoothed Sam’s hair back, still hopelessly endeared by him even when he was being annoying.

“Then you can go find somebody else to lay on,” Danny leaned in and whispered in Sam’s ear, suddenly shifting and flipping onto his side, sending a screaming Sam flailing off of the bed and onto the floor while Danny scooped up his phone and answered it.

“Hi, Josh,” Danny answered cheerfully while Sam hurled obscenities from the floor. Danny peeked over the edge of the bed, sticking his tongue out when Sam threw him the middle finger with both hands. “What’s up?”

“Finally!” Josh sighed, his voice so loud that Danny had to hold the phone away from his ear. “I thought you were never going to pick up.”

“You couldn’t just text me?”

“Absolutely not,” Josh replied as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion he had ever heard. “This is a matter of the highest security and discretion.”

“Do tell,” Danny said casually while Sam, still on the ground, reached up, grabbed the pillow out from under Danny’s head, and half heartedly tried to smother him with it. “You have my full attention.”

“Jake’s here too, say hi Jake,” Josh said, and after a moment of rustling, Jake’s voice piped up. “Hi, Dan.”

“Hi, guys,” Danny replied, curiosity creeping into his tone. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

“We have a conspiracy theory,” Josh whispered into the phone, and he heard Jake making ghostly noises in the background. “And we need your help investigating it.”

“Okay?”

“You’re not with Sam right now, are you?”

Danny looked down at Sam on the floor, who had put the pillow under his own head and was scowling up at Danny, flipping him the middle finger yet again.

“Nope,” Danny answered, giving Sam a kissy face and flopping back onto the bed. “Why?”

“Do you know what he’s up to right now?”

“Uh,” Danny paused. “I think he just said he was busy today. Again, why?”

“Interesting,” Josh hummed. “Has he been vague about his whereabouts with you, too?”

“Sort of,” Danny stammered, rolling over and throwing Sam a concerned look, who gave him a questioning look back. “He’s been busy, that’s all I know. I mean, it’s the end of the semester so that’s not too shocking.”

“We think he might be seeing someone,” Josh proposed amusedly and Danny’s heart started racing anxiously. He sat straight up and did his best to make a shocked noise. 

“You think?” Danny squeaked. Sam sat up and gave him another confused look.

“For sure,” Jake answered, taking the phone from Josh. “Haven’t you noticed he’s been super weird lately? He’s been so cheery and downright merry. He’s usually miserable this time of year.”

“I guess he has been a little more upbeat lately,” Danny agreed, feeling a little warmth in his stomach. Did he really do that to Sam? Did he make him so happy that everyone around them could see it?

“But he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend to you?” Josh asked.

“Nope,” Danny answered truthfully. 

“Wow. I’m shocked he wouldn’t even tell you. He tells you everything.”

Sam was starting to get impatient and got up and scrambled onto the bed again, straddling Danny and making a move to grab the phone. 

“No!” Danny whispered, palming Sam’s face and holding him back while Sam struggled, whispering obscenities and swinging his arms. “Give me a second!”

“Are you talking about me?” Sam asked, his voice barely audible, both of them still respecting the rules of being on the phone even though both sides had gone silent. 

“Just be patient!” Danny hissed, pushing square against Sam’s chest and pinning him to the bed with one hand while he cradled the phone in the crook of his shoulder and brought it to his ear. “Sorry, Josh, what?”

“Ooh, do you have a guueesst over?” Josh whistled, no doubt wiggling his eyebrows while he said it. Jake wolf whistled in the background and Danny groaned.

“Shut up, you guys,” he complained. “Stay focused. What do you want me to do?”

“We just want you to poke around,” Josh explained as Danny tried to keep Sam quiet, who was still wiggling and grinning wickedly in Danny’s firm grip. “Ask him if he’s been hanging out with anybody.”

“Try and hang out with him as much as you can,” Jake added. “We’re trying to get a name out of this. We want socials we can stalk.”

“Wouldn’t you rather wait for him to bring it up?” Danny countered, making a “ssh!” face as Sam giggled under him. “Maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t said anything.”

“No, we’d rather be nosy,” Josh said in a deadpan, and Danny heard Jake cackle in the background. “He clearly likes her enough to not mention her to us.”

“And that’s so much worse,” Jake continued. “So, are you up for it?”

“I suppose I could do some sleuthing,” Danny smiled, starting to become increasingly distracted by the color flushing in Sam’s face as Danny held him down. “I’ll get back to you with what I know as soon as I can, okay?”

“You’re a peach, Wagner,” Josh grinned through the receiver. “We knew we could count on you.”

“Give him hell, Swaggy!” Jake crowed, and Danny laughed.

“Love you guys, talk to you later!” Danny chirped hurriedly, cutting off Josh’s loud kissing noises by hanging up and tossing his phone onto the nightstand. 

“What did those hippies want?” Sam asked, running his fingers through Danny’s curls as Danny hovered over him, propping himself up on an elbow with a hand still firmly on Sam’s diaphragm. 

“They’re pretty sure you have a girlfriend,” Danny said, and Sam let out a harsh laugh, shaking his head.

“God, they’re the worst,” Sam laughed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t keep anything from them. They’re going to be poking their noses in my business until I’m 102.”

“And they want me to find out who she is,” Danny went on.

“Oh, man…” Sam sighed. 

“Is there any particular reason you haven’t told them yet?” Danny prodded, his thumb swiping soothingly, wrinkling the thin fabric of Sam’s shirt. “They think it’s some kind of a big deal.”

 Sam hesitated, watching the movement of Danny’s hand on his chest before covering it with his own.

“My brothers think everything is a big deal,” Sam muttered. “I don’t know. I mean, they’re going to be jazzed about it, they love you. I just…I don’t know.”

“No, I get it,” Danny replied, his stomach sinking a little bit. He knew Sam wasn’t embarrassed of him or anything, but…

“I’ll tell them soon,” Sam promised, flashing the doe eyes he knew made Danny melt. Danny’s face immediately softened and the jackrabbit panic in Sam’s chest calmed a little at the sight. “I swear. I know it’s important to you.”

“You’re pretty sweet sometimes, you know that?” Danny grinned, dipping his head to plant a kiss on Sam’s cheek, who chuckled at the contact. “Could be fun to play along for a little bit, too.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked, nuzzling his nose against Danny’s. “You wanna do a big, dramatic reveal?”

“It’s probably the last thing they expect,” Danny pointed out, pausing to peck Sam lightly on the mouth, who chased after his lips with a frown when he pulled back just as quickly as he had struck. “Imagine the looks on their faces when I tell them I’ve done all this investigative work just to find out that Sam’s super secret girlfriend is none other than…wait for it…”

“Oh, let me guess!” Sam mocked in Josh’s parroting voice, arching an eyebrow and pretending to think deeply. “The Queen of England?”

“No, no, she’s too good for you!” Danny growled in Jake’s beloved yet atrocious fake British accent. “It’s gotta be…the lady giraffe at the zoo!”

“She’s a little short for my taste,” Sam teased, holding Danny’s hair up over his head and waving it as if caught in a wind. “I like ‘em tall.”

“How tall do you think I am?” Danny scoffed, straightening his arms so he was planking over Sam, his hair falling in a dark curtain that made the rest of the room fall away so the only thing he could see was Sam. And he certainly didn’t mind the view, especially when it was looking up at him with a light in his eyes that seemed to shine only for him.

“Not tall enough,” Sam smiled cheekily and Danny raised an eyebrow at him.

“Whatever.” Danny lowered himself again so that he was draped over Sam, the tips of their noses touching again. “I’m still your super secret special girlfriend.”

“You’re my super secret special dumbass,” Sam assured him with puckered lips, jutting his chin out in a lazy attempt to steal a kiss. “Come here.”

“I want to hear you say it,” Danny breathed, stopping Sam’s lips with his pointer finger, gingerly pressing the tip of his finger against the soft, pink flesh before tapping his nose. “And then I’ll think about it.”

“To be fair,” Sam retorted, biting at Danny’s finger when he pulled it back. “You never officially asked me.”

“I didn’t realize you were expecting a whole big thing.”

“I was expecting bread and circus. Doves and rose petals.”

“I confessed to you under the stars on your birthday, what more do you want from me? Sheesh. Picky, picky.”

“You’re the worst boyfriend I’ve ever had,” Sam declared. 

“I’ll take it!” Danny beamed, colliding the grin that was breaking out over his face into Sam, who accepted it with his own smile. Sam then drowned him in a long kiss, holding him close with his hands tangled comfortably in his curls and his legs slotted between Danny’s in a way that he had started to make a habit. 

In fact, since their night on the roof, Sam had found it extremely difficult to keep his hands off of his best friend. He had been into Danny for what felt like forever, so now that he had his chance to have him all to himself, he was doing everything in his power not to waste it. His brother’s suspicions made sense when he put into perspective just how often he had begun to ignore their texts or offers to hang out in favor of beelining to Danny’s apartment after school or work and staying for as long as he could before his next class. But how could he not? Danny was all over him too. A kiss on the roof had led to a locked door, shirts on the floor, and a few days recycling the same turtleneck until the marks that had bloomed under Danny’s teeth had faded. Not much had changed in that regard, except that now Danny had the restraint and wherewithal to leave bruises where they couldn’t be seen by curious coworkers or ridiculously nosy brothers. 

“Okay, fine,” Sam whined as Danny worked his shirt over his head and left a barrage of light kisses against the achingly sensitive skin on his neck. “Maybe you’re not the worst boyfriend in the world.”

“Gee, thanks,” Danny murmured against his skin, his tongue darting out and making Sam hum as he cradled Danny’s head against him. “Good to know I just need to get you worked up a little bit to be nicer to me.”

“Take me all the way and I’ll be more than nice,” Sam purred, flattening his hands against Danny’s back under his shirt and raking his nails down, making Danny groan into his neck.

“Kinda slutty of you,” Daniel chuckled, coming back up for air and gazing down at Sam with pink cheeks and the freckles on his nose so close that Sam was tempted to nip each and every one. 

“You love that about me,” Sam teased, smoothing his palms over Danny’s lower back and hips as he watched his eyelids flutter and the warm hazel of his eyes get swallowed up by his pupils.

“You have no idea,” Danny groaned lowly, descending on Sam hungrily.

If he was being tasked with keeping an eye on him, he figured he might as well make it both worth their while. 

~~

Taglist:  @s0livagant  @holdingup-fallingsky @t00turnttrauma @the-starcatcher @streamsofstardust @spark-my-nature @joshkiszkashusband

[too-much-yike]

In regards to the analogical pinned post (And after re-watching these analogical moments from the actual vids cause <3 <3 <3) TWO lil things i'm just DYING to point out or i'll explode! "Accepting Anxiety part 1/2" Logan to prove Virgil is needed, THROWS A LAPTOP AT THOMAS LET ME REPEAT T H R O W S A FREAKIN LAPTOP AND Causes Thomas PHYSICAL HARM just to get the point across to the others Virgil IS NECESSARY!! (Don't know bout you but only love can make you go that damn extreme <3 also this is referenced in "Have I grown? Five Years Later" when Logan says "We could not function without him as we saw" Immediately cuts to Logan doing something completely drastic again THROWING A LAPTOP for Virgil's sake! its called LOVE your honor!!)

This is more of a theory cause it nagged at me a little when re-watching but the "12 days of Christmas episode" I always wonder why didn't Logan speak up for Virgil sooner in the song with the "Seven slights at Virgil"? so here's a little personal theory and its all thanks to Patton! Patton was the FIRST to change any lyrics with the song to cheer up Virgil and just LOOK at the face Logan gives as the clogs in head start turning like "I..Never thought to do that." Patton gave Logan the idea to start changing lyrics hence the delay and wishing to make Virgil laugh now knowing what to do! didn't change the "eight bounts of banter" he went right for the one after Roman to get him back for the "Seven slights at Virgil"

oh my god you’re so right??? literally how haven’t i noticed this before?????

listen, atp we all know logan will go through extremes only for virgil, so not shocked he threw that laptop, but as long as it proves their love for each other, then it has a purpose <3

but the 12 days of christmas one???? that’s so fucking cute dude you big brained so hard. bro got a taste of virgil being happy and could not get enough. (also logan absolutely got a little jealous over the fact that he didn’t think of it first and that virgil laughed at patton’s lyric)

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Alright folks, it’s that time again, I’m back on my Obey Me bullshit

This time though I’ve been thinking about Obey Me’s cannon story, and more specifically, how much I think it could be improved on. Now listen! I’m not saying Obey Me’s story is god awful or anything, I’m just saying that there are some issues, big and small, that I have noticed, repeatedly

And unfortunately for everyone, one thing that drives me more than anything else in this world, is spite. If I see something and think “Even I could do that better” my god I will do that fucking thing. Whether or not it’s actually better than the original is up to your own preferences obviously, but I like making art for myself and my brain

However, seeing as when I started writing a true “Obey Me Re-written” project I got as far as when you leave RAD after just being kidnapped and then lost steam, I knew I had to approach this differently. My current theory as to why that happened is because the way I write outlines is so bare bones it’s like if you story boarded a ten minute animation by fully illustrating one key frame for each minute. In other words, fucking badly

So here’s my new idea. I will be writing out main story beats for this re-written project as if I were making head cannon posts. This will get the ideas out into the world and help me plan shit out for if I ever decide to take a crack at properly writing the bitch. The story will still be written in second person, like everything I do, and each post should be about a chapter’s worth of story stuff

But yeah, for all the normal people that’s the end of this post. I hope you have a lovely day and that you’ll maybe wanna read the re-written posts as they come out? No pressure tho. However, for you sick fucks who actually care about the gripes I have with Obey Me’s story and what I intend to change then you can click that little Keep Reading thingy right below this text. But I warn you. It’s a doozy

Alright, first off let's address the obvious. Obey me is a free mobile game whose original language is Japanese. That might not sound like much but that one sentence explains three minor problems I have with Obey Me’s story, The pacing, The word choice, And the sanitization

The pacing is obvious, you unlock small bits of the story by playing the game and beating mini games. For the app to work the way it does the story has to be able to divide into these little chunks. But since I’m not confined by app structure my story will not have those odd chunks, allowing it to, hopefully, flow a little better

The word choice is a very nit picky thing that gets to me personally. Since the game has gone through a small game of telephone before us english only nerds can read the damn thing some things are just going to be lost or misused after translation. Since english is my first and only language I don’t have to deal with any of that in my version

And the sanitization! Again, Obey Me is a free mobile game, which means it needs to be advertiser friendly, which means The Avatar Of Lust is demoted to Avatar of Flirting and Vanity. My demons will cuss, fuck, and GASP…hold hands with y/n. Lol, seriously though, plot wise it’ll take a bit to get to fucking just because once you say fucking’s allowed you’re not getting out of bed for at least a week due to your demons swarming you, but I might write some stuff on the side that’s a little later in the time line for fun

Another small gripe I have is The Train Mystery. If you know, you know. That one will probably take some time but by Dia’s sweet ass I will make that a proper mystery

Also, not really a gripe but a change. Luke will not be in my story. He’s a cute kid, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a lusty bitch who wants a harem/poly story so no kids allowed. He’s off baking the whole time, he’s busy

A bigger issue I have with the story is that, no one has strong opinions on each other? Like, maybe for a lesson they do, but it’s never really brought up after that. And sometimes established opinions are tossed out the window to make the plot of the week happen. None of that, my boys have feelings about each other damn it! And if you’re wondering if any of those feelings will be slightly romantic or sexual. I’ll never tell :3 (Yes, the answer is yes)

Another big change I’m making is that the y/n will not be related to Lilith. They’re just a human with lataint magical abilities that only wake up in a big way once they start making pacts with demons. It’s not that them being kinda related squicks me out or anything, what did I just say above this paragraph? No, it’s just how fucking weird they handle it? Like, Obey Me can not decide if it wants the y/n to be exactly like Lilith and the brothers see them as her but like reincarnated or something, or if it wants to forget about Lilith entirely to side step the whole “You’re just like my dead sister, let’s make out about it” thing. Cowards

The final thing I will be changing (that I remember anyhow) is the lifeless y/n. Don’t get me wrong, the Obey Me y/n does have a few personality traits that stand out (Mainly being kind, chaotic, and a little dumb in some spots) but my y/n’s are characters in their own rights and this one will be no different (They have some anger problems :3)

But yeah, if you took the time to read all this, thank you! I can’t promise how quickly I’ll make re-written posts but I’m excited about the idea. Since I’ll be laying out all the story and character beats out so openly anyway feel free to ask even spoiler-esq questions if you’d like, I don’t expect any but the invitation is always there. I hope you have a wonderful day/night, bye bye :D

[ratcandy]

I like to think the gods all died for various reasons and the skull is one god who probably thought they were above earthly infections and parasites but clearly wasn’t.

And like it was clearly a giant god so when it died it sorta just became Spore Grotto and I like to further think the Menticide Mushrooms and Mushroomos are like things that evolved and came from its decaying corpse. Hence why they drop the mushrooms.

Also like my thing with the mushrooms, mushroomos and the mushrooms on Sozo/the dead thing’s heads are like, they are clearly alive in a different way than a regular cordycep. They have faces that smile and emote and react along with the host if Sozo is anything to go by. It’s not concrete but I have a theory that once the mushrooms infect something they evolve into a like subspecies specific to the host. So possibly the reason no one is infected other than Sozo and the big thing is because it’s only contactable through oral consumption and the rituals use the spores which just cause a weird trip.

This is all circumstantial and going off very minor things but it’s just that so much of Cult of the Lambs like environment lore is so vague it could be possible

yeAH I've seen this theory before!!! I think someone said something similar on one of my posts (or perhaps it was You, specifically, and my memory has jus gone kersplat on me).

and yES I agree in that cordyceps are weirdly like. Sapient?? For a parasitic fungi? Which is why I've been sorta referring to them as Advanced Cordyceps anyway, both because they're maybe somehow affecting the brain (given the whispering Sozo hears) and also because. Well. The Faces

But subspecies specific to the host is interesting!!! That could explain why Sozo is the only one infected like that, but you'd still think maybe others would get variations of it if it extends past just ants (depending on whatever animal the skull might have been)

And I never considered the rituals only using the spores and no one else consuming it 🤔I guess I just sort of assumed the brainwashing ritual was a consumption-based thing, maybe because I was reading too much into Sozo referring to it as "tasting the power of the mushroom" when he may not have meant Taste in the Literal Sense

But then again that would mean they don't infect like cordyceps at all (through airborne spores), and only do so orally, which is a Little upsetting for Personal headcanon, but. At the same time WHO even knows. as u said the environmental lore is so vague it could be anything.

it circles back to gesturing vaguely and being like Well the Shroom Itself Could be a Deity in which case the rules are Whatever and nothing matters because it's a got damn Shroom God it can do whatever it wants

[eriexplosion]

I know I've posted about this before, but I have been going out of my tumblr bubble a little more to find discussion of this episode and honestly I am still surprised by the amount of argument over if Crosshair Deserves a redemption, in a show where not only is redemption a big thing but... most redeemed villains have done so much more than Crosshair has.

Like, the general implication is he got his chip out after Bracca - I've seen some theories that it's when we see him in the medbay after episode three, which is possible but his personality shift doesn't seem to happen until after Bracca, so I think it's a good assumption that everything before that is his chip. Leaving aside discussions of culpability in clones given that they are literally raised from infancy to follow orders and the effects of what an enhanced chip might do to the brain, this means that the things we see Crosshair do that is at least mostly of his own will are:

He shot Senator Taa with a nonfatal headshot which is apparently a thing he can do, though after his display in Solitary Clone I guess that's not surprising.

Lured in the batch to make his misguided attempt at selling the Empire with the worst sales pitch known to man. Killed his imperial squad in the process (this isn't really a bad thing but you know, including it as Some Murders He Did)

Decided to stay with the Empire, proceeded to sit on that platform for 32 days and then spend several months in his jammies waiting for medical clearance since the gap between seasons is much more than that single month judging from Omega's growth spurt.

Killed Governor Tawni and I stick to my argument that this was timed to when Cody was being threatened with consequences, but it's the most clearly Awful thing he's done.

When left to his own devices he's a shit talking bitch. While considered rude, this is not illegal and others are willing to engage in 'talk shit get hit' with him over it.

In a show where the majority of redemptions go to people that have participated in genocides, torture, and so forth with fewconflicted emotions until their ultimate redemption arc, I just do not know why people are so quick to put him in the Irredeemable Box. (I've literally seen articles that did it as early as episode three where he was still considered unambiguously chipped but suddenly MIND CONTROL IS NO EXCUSE)

He has been clearly struggling with himself the entire show. Most of his actions sit in kind of a murky area because we don't know what's going on in his head because I don't think HE knows what's going on in his head and if he does he's not being honest about it anyway. Let the poor little meow meow breathe damn it.

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #20: “Braingea’s Final Cranny” | April 17, 2009 - 12:15AM | S02E10

The final episode of Xavier is here and boy, what a show. I don’t think I ever watched this one, either, so I can’t pad this out with barely-relevant tangents about how I was working on a commercial fishing boat at the time of it’s airing or whatever it was I was doing. I miss the sea. 

Xavier yearns for his mother so hard that he cries for 9 months, creating a fertile beach with it’s own ocean (ah, there she is! How I’ve missed her so!). Xavier inadvertently harms a young man with his first job, dressing like a dolphin and handing out free samples or some shit. Xavier mistakes him for the real thing and tosses him into the ocean. He gets out alive, but then Xavier mistakes his scuffed up Dolphin dress as a carcass, and forces him to eat it in front of him, an ethical thing to do if you kill a living creature. Later, when he finds the guy trying to commit suicide he orders him to eat himself. 

That guy winds up getting taken to an asylum, and Xavier sneaks in with him, believing his mother is there. He then has to “pretend” to be insane. He is psychoanalyzed using a Rorschach test, which anthropomorphizes into a guy that talks to Xavier and explains that he can take any form Xavier wants. The inkblot can’t take Xavier and eventually materializes on the psychiatrist’s couch, and is committed. 

Later, Xavier finally finds his mother in the lobotomy room. He digs through a pile of brain and finds the missing chunk from her head and crams it back into her head. When she comes back to full sentience, she tells Xavier that she faked her death to get away from him, and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again. She ensures this happens by gouging her own eyes out.

Xavier meets Nurse Escher and you KNOW they gonna bone. They bone, then the psychiatrist reveals that the nurse is Xavier’s real mother, and he was trying to prove a scientific theory that lobotomies remove oedipal taboo from the brain.

The inkblot comes back and runs off with Xavier’s mother, taking them back to the beach. Xavier travels to the beach by jamming together all the lobotomy pieces into one big brain, which sorta functions like a hot air balloon. He gets the blot to turn into an ice cream cone and consumes it. 9 months later, he, his mom, and his fake mom all give a tandem birth to Xavier’s incest baby, which becomes that weird symbol that’s in every episode. We pull out of the symbol on a Rorschach test being administered to Xavier back in the psychiatrist’s office. There, Xavier finds out that he’s beautiful by looking into a hand mirror and seeing a conventionally handsome man looking back at him. The psychiatrist now looks like Xavier. THE END? 

This one is ultimately sort of a middling episode, but it has some great laughs. The run where Xavier is trying different brain chunks on his supposed lobotomized mother had three great gags in a row. I assume I laughed at them, because I wrote them down, and that’s usually the reason I write specific jokes down. When he shoves in a piece, his mother begins talking in the voice of whatever brain it actually is. He tries a young man’s voice who is confessing to his father that he forgot all of his pizza knowledge. “Dumb (DISGUSTING AND OFFENSIVE anti-Italian slur) coulda used a Goombotomy.” Then he tries one where the voice is a sports announcer calling the winner of some game. “Damn it, I had money on that game.” The next one causes chicken noises to come out of his mother. “Oh, chicken, Yum!” Xavier says before chomping the brain bit. That said, I think I prefer Damnesia Me, meaning You, as my head-canon finale. 

Okay, I usually like to do a top ten (in chronological order) of each show when they end. This one was tough for me, but I tried. I bet if I went through the show again I’d come up with a slightly different list. HERE IT IS: 

S01E01: “What Life D-D-Doth”

S01E03: “Weapons Grade Life”

S01E05: “Pet Siouxicide”

S01E07: “Bloodcorn”

S01E09: “Signs from Godrilla”

S01E10: “Shakashuri Blowdown”

S02E05: “Vibracaust”

S02E05: “Free Range Manibalism”

S02E06: “Damnesia Vu”

S02E09: “Damnesia You”

[leynaeithnea]

Oh yeah good call doing this song by song becase our essays are getting so long it's illegal at this point haha

Before we get into it, one of the chorus is "kill for love"? DAMN , that's totally not gonna ruin me at all, nu-uh I'll be super fine for sure

Okay let's go

This song is literally my fave of the saga, stuck in my head on repeat because of the melody and the beautiful vocals but also the story?? She is actually a siren trying to trick him but he pulls out a uno reverse card and tricks her even harder ??? Once again LYING CUNNING CHARACTERS FOR THE WIN AJSKSNBSB

Also I'm so jealousy of you bc I did not have it in me to wake up in the middle of the night for the stream but I wanted to see it so baaad, I would have been even more confused than you at 5am don't worry your wild theories are valid

Their little banter is impeccable "answer some questions for me please ?🥺" " Of course babe 🤭🙃" let's say I was on the run from Poseidon that big meanie 😔" " Oh nOo pookie poor you 🥺" They are so unserious !!! And then the vocals in her reply keep me up at night " sailing where he's scared to roam" is done so majestically akdmndns

Can't fight you on this , Ody saying he's shy and terrified is so fuckin funny and random hahahah

Oh good gods don't let me think about it because I know ,I KNOW HE'S PRETENDING A LITTLE BIT THIS IS REALLY HIS PENELOPE AND IT HURTS SO BAD the way he says he'd die for her and he misses her so much , "more than you know "because the siren actually doesn't know , she has no idea how much he misses his wife asakkksnns free my boy he deserves some smooches from his wifeee

( I love how you keep slipping Neil in the conversation and I do not fault you for it bc liars= Neil-Josten-hiding-his-whole-ass-murderer-father-with-ties-to-the-japanese-mafia-like-it's-nothing )

ALRIGHT I have a bit energy again

I agree with everything u said moving to the next song now!

22. Different Beast

the arrow followed by this ear piercing screaming (good think they all had beeswax in their ears fr)

ODY IS SO MAD "lets cut the charade you are no wife of mine" I almost feel like he hates the Siren even more for DARING to pretend to be Penelope, and making him yearn for her even more

the music in that one is also soooo sinister and creepy

and how his voice changes with "i know underwater theres packs of you hiding, yeah i know exactly what you are, a siren" its so vicious and cunning iTS soo good

Then the siren hiss seigsegj

AND THEN THE DRUMs when he starts singing "my real wife knows im not scared of the water, and my real wife knows i dont have a daughter" like the drums rise when he speaks and between the lines and when the strings or whatever they are come up again, the drum gets quieter again for a moment only to rise up again when he speaks...its so cool, i love this drum beat, which continues while he tells his whole big-brain plan (love how we see Odys hubris in this one, he gets so smug about his plans with the sirens that he spends a whole song explaining it to us, on one hand its exposition and him just recalling what happened for story purposes but also it fits the character for his pride - which in the myth is also his fatal flaw - takes over)

also "we are a different beast now" chorus: basically is just "we are the monsters rawr rawr rawr"

"we've been away from home for ABOUT 12 YeARS OR SO" JORGE; JORGE WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID HERE

I've also been wondering, i kind of feel like the ryhtm of the music doesnt fully-align with the lyrics bc theyre shifting between singing and sing-talking, and ive been wondering if thats maybe like a suble sign that acutally Ody and the crew dont hear a thing rn? kinda? idk, i dont have enoguh knowledge about music theory to actually explain the sort of dissonance i feel is happening, it could also just be done like this to showcase how theyre the different beasts now

Sirens singing "spare us" is eery and pretty

Odys embracing the lesson people have been trying to teach him throughout act 1 finially "why, so you can kill the next group of sailirs in this part of the sea, nah you wouldve spared me"

"cut of their tails we're ending this now, throw their bodies back int he water let them drown" HE IS THE MONSTER RAWR RAWR RAWR

AND THen the CHOIR LYRIcs shift to "HE is a different beast now, he is the one to feast now" (i lowkey imagine him just snacking on some Siren tail in that line ngl, the only way the lyrics "the ones to feast now" makes sense is if they literally feasted on these tails, it would also explain why Ody specifically wanted to cut of their tails)

also Ody plss "Kill them all"...ow, but fair i suppose, but you couldve just slit their throats

ADN THEN The last lyrics being "Odysseus" omg gsiejgisejg love it

Also i dont know when this shifted from "my favorite lines in the musical" to "my reaction and analysis to every song" but by now im just vibing with it

[minnwaa]

hi so triage happened

unlike the last two posts, this time my bullshit is a bit less grounded because i am Not A Doctor therefore many medical refs will go over my head. im also fairly sure that the same theory has been said and i am late, but you gotta forgive my brain for computing late bc the fact that shidou is canonically a dilf. i am, however, good at coming up bullshit so let's talk about what i think is shidou's crime.

and despite whatever he did, i do forgive him.

tw: medical stuff

so triage opens with shidou walking down the streets all happy while he carries three pomegranates (and possibly more, but this is the visible one). im still unsure what the labels on those pomegranates are, but i am fairly sure that this was meant to represent the three lives that shidou carried with him (aka in his life). aka, his wife and his two children. we can see that this man loves his family very fucking much, which kind of mirrors what he said in the drama. (once again, thank you onigiriico for the drama translation. i cried reading that shit) he mentioned the law of protecting a criminal and the fact that the law might overlook it if the one who protected the criminal is a family. this probably doesn't mean that he needed protection or protecting a criminal, but rather the fact that the law will be on his side if he is on trial because family IS important to society and law. so he thinks what he did was justified, but at the same time, he is so fucking guilty.

so then we got a few cuts of his family being cute and all, and i have to say the dreaminess (the light color and the lighting) of this scene is intentional? kind of like shidou romanticizing what he lost.

this part is him realizing that he lost everything. the life he had with his family and the him who was so happy. because, well, he lost everything.

look at the difference between these two frames:

this is shidou remembering his happy memories and what-could-have-beens.

this is shidou while he was grieving. like, Really Grieving. he's sad.

focusing a little bit on the pomegranates, assuming that pomegranates meant lives, then the implication of these pomegranates are:

two of the pomegranates are unsalvageable.

while two are a mess (one of them more so than the other) but one of them can be saved. while there are other pomegranates around him whole, meaning that they are alive and well.

so what i think happened is that his family (meaning his wife and his two children) were caught in an accident that caused the children to die on impact (or one died immediately while one died on the way or on the operating table.)

because we did see one of the children given a label of some sort by shidou, meaning that there was something that he possibly did while the other one didn't show up again until the very end.

however, his wife can be saved. so he felt like he has to save his wife, law, the world, everything be damned. this is partly because of his survivor's guilt and the need to protect someone he loved dearly.

i thought this at first would be his wife's bed but i think this is his child, because the bed is too big for his child and there is a possibility that he died on operating table. shidou wasn't the doctor operating on him obviously but he did lose his child. and the him on the back is to remind him "HEY YOU STILL HAVE YOUR WIFE. SHES STILL ALIVE. KIND OF."

this scene is him basically realizing that he could lose it all if he kept getting stuck in his grief, and he now has to work to save the only person that he could save. his beloved wife. case in point, during the last chorus, the close up of the children got fade to white, while his wife's didn't, it cuts to shidou putting on his gloves, as if he's preparing himself to do the atrocities.

now we jump a little to throw down, because i think throw down showed what actually happened after that.

shidou was in the garden full of flower, with him tending the flower before cutting them and putting the flowers on a frame of a body full of flowers.

so my theory is that the frame of human-flower could be his wife and she was either comatose or full-on life support and in need of transplantation. so that's what he's doing. according to him, he has to ask the family of the comatose patient to be the donor of organs and he never considers them to be cruel, bc he thinks it's necessary. that is, until it happened to him. we'll come back to this.

let's use the flowers as the symbolism of "organ" and "chance", because i think the act of him cutting the flower in throw down is basically him taking the organ/taking the chance of those comatose patients to be alive again. he doesn't put everything on his wife, of course not. that'd be dangerous. but he does put his wife on priority and he is searching tirelessly, no matter the cost. because this is the only way to save her, so he has to. there is also a possibility that he was using the other patients kind of like a training, because well, the operation to save his wife has to be perfect.

but shidou is inherently a good person. he is very, very desperate but he is kind. despite everything that he had done and the fact that he tried to justify everything, he still thinks that he is guilty. because he has to take another life to save others. that's just the life of a doctor.

however, fate says otherwise. his wife has been under for long, and another doctor calls for her to be a donor. shidou never realized how cruel it is until he is on the other end, and now he has to let go of his wife. but he doesn't want to. he refused.

so he made the call to transplant her with the organ that matches her the closest. it might also mean that shidou took the "chance" for someone else and priorities his wife. and well. it went well. kind of.

in the next few frames, we were basically shown the fact that her arm and leg don't work. this could either mean that the operation was a success but not without complication, or it cost an arm and a leg to be able to pull this off. but it went well and she was on the way of recovery. but as you all know...

despite everything that he had done, the countless lives and chances that he sacrificed, he failed. as in, the complication killed his wife.

what is very interesting is the fact that shidou's lyrics and his mv is so... different from each other. because well, his mv showed his readiness to commit crimes to save his wife. while the lyrics showed that despite all the lives taken, he is still necessary to take care of people in milgram, because he is the only one who can. he wanted to live because he is "necessary". shoutout to him for acknowledging that kotoko is the problem bc he needs to dislodge the fang. probably doesn't mean beats her up, but meaning that he is the only one who could care for the victim of the fangs. good for him. goooood for him.

of course, i wouldnt be me if i didn't mention his cover, aka delusion tax. i think this song fits his mind frame when he was on the hunt to find the organ for his wife. because well, the song is about paying the price for a delusion. and that price for shidou is dirtying his hand to give his wife another life. while clinging onto his wife for a reason to live.

that's why he was despondent and just wanted to die on the first trial, because his wife is dead because of him and he has no purpose to live any longer. but like it or not, the attack on the prisoners actually gave him one. he said that mahiru will not survive without him.

he also partly confirmed that his "crime" is of the medical kind. transplantation. taking organs from braindead patients for people who has better chance to live. triage.

but i do have one massive problem with this theory (yes I'm playing devil's advocate for myself) and it is the fact that shidou would not be able to do any of this because he would not be allowed to do any primary care for his wife due to conflict of interest. so i wonder if he did anything else to ensure that his wife got the organ necessary...

anyway, because of that i just want to vote for him as forgiven. call me shit for being biased, but i will actually kill a bitch (k*tk) to save mahiru. that is all.

[mass-convergence]

This is actually a positive post for once.

Anyway, I really love humanity and it's all because of that goddamn S symbol children have scrawled over their notebooks for decades now. Let me explain.

Okay to head some of this off at the pass: I'm aware of the singular explanations. Specifically the Stussy thing, the "superman logo", etc. I just watched this video by LEMMiNO which I think has some pretty good theories, including some I hadn't heard of before. Using a single source for all my info on this ... generally not good ... but legit this is a thing about a doodle I used to do. If you're interested, you can certainly leap into the rabbit hole.

So anyway, stuff I hadn't heard before: How the S was a popular way to stylize an S in graffiti. This shit has been around since at least the 1800s as seen in a book by a princeton professor. Some people in the comments section had found examples of the general pattern being used in paintings as far back as the 1500s.

My fascination is with the ubiquity of it, and people's intensive, yet ultimately fruitless, attempts to find a single point of origin for the pattern. How people don't even remember how they even started doodling it. They say "I learned it from a friend who learned it from another friend who learned it from another friend ... who idk who he learned it from".

Honestly? The simplest answer really is: as humans, and especially as bored children, we love doodling shit. We love making our silly little patterns in the margins of notebooks. And (as referenced in the video) - humanity's had a long and proud history of just making intricate and repeating patterns out of things because it looks nice.

And that simplest answer: that it likely just developed organically with no real singular source. I don't know, it's just kind of having a profound affect on me. Yes I'm philosophizing about a doodle.

It feels profound to me because we live on this huge ass planet with 8 billion other people. However, no matter where we are, we all make our silly little doodles and at some point, someone comes up with the fucking "S" and teaches it to their entire class. It's very pleasing to draw, very easy to draw, and it looks really cool so of course people are going to doodle it literally everywhere. My notebooks were filled with that damn S and also a bunch of zigzag designs (shout out to my english professor for calling me out on that by calling me the "Zig Zag Queen of the Front Table" I wear that title proudly).

My other fascination with the S phenomenon is that we're always looking for an explanation as to why something happened. We always need a story, a neat little narrative. My writer brain goes off about how the S could be some occult symbol being subconsciously implanted by a slumbering eldritch god who's just waiting to be summoned by some 5th grader in Chadron, Nebraska. Or y'know ... Stussy I guess.

I mean think about the pyramids and all the (granted: incredibly racist and colonialist) theories about that*. Oh yes. The reason why civilizations on different continents who had absolutely zero interactions with each other made pyramids is because aliens did it. It's definitely got nothing to do with the fact that we all, fundamentally, likely have similar thought processes and reasoning: Thing with giant base = super duper stable = I can make a huge ass structure out of this. And we all like making giant buildings to worship, it's like fundamental to human existence that we've gotta make big shit and leave our mark.

But that's not interesting, that doesn't seem fulfilling, it doesn't seem complete. It can't be that we're a lot more connected than we all realize. It's gotta be the goddamn aliens. Or Stussy.

-

*I want to plainly express that those theories are incredibly racist and are rooted in the general colonialist BS about how those civilizations couldn't possibly be "smart" or "developed" enough or whatever. We can't forget that fact. This is definitely an entrenched belief that's still doing harm to this day and people need to fucking stop. Just because I mentioned I was "fascinated" about a particular aspect of human nature doesn't make me any less disgusted by the fucking "aliens" theory.

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

So you asked how the cmi couple would say I love you for the first time (I'm not censoring it anymore, they're too whipped) and here's what I'm thinking.

I feel like every time they've tried to have a calm vulnerable conversation, they've skirted too much around actually outright admitting anything, so maybe it would be a heat of the moment thing. Like either when they're just going really soft for the other person and it just comes out, or during some sort of argument 👀👀👀 That dream you had about just blurting out I love you after a kiss is also so them lmao.

But I also have no idea who would say it first, they both overthink so much, even when their own feelings are pretty obvious to themselves. I feel like it would be very meaningful to OC for Jungkook to say it first, since that would show that he's finally willing to share his feelings more openly with her. But then maybe if she said it first, that would make him more comfortable to be vulnerable too, since we know he has a big problem with that. Aaah I can see all of these things happening, this is why I can never come up with theories.

Regardless, I'm genuinely always thinking of them, I love them so much 🥺🥺🥺

And I love youuu, Rid 💞💞💞

hello, my lovely baby <33 how are you doing?

AGH yes, your arguments actually make a lot of sense. i think someone has said before that they might potentially drop that first ily during an argument, in a "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU" kinda sense :') but i like that you're suggesting a general heat of the moment thing, bc it's absolutely possible that they might be so lost in that moment that it just happens 😭 yes that's exactly what happened in my dream fjkdhdfjkds

as to who'd say it first... HMMM, we shall see 👁 your points make so much sense tho hahaha you seriously have the biggest brain :''') i've a good idea in my head of how it'd happen... i'm so so curious how you guys will like it :O

and seriouslyyy, that means so much to me every damn time you say it 😭 it really never gets old. i'm so happy they've been occupying your mind like that... they've been doing the same to me, my faves 🥺

thank you for that ivi hehe i love you and your mind 🤍

[yournightowl]

Your NightOwl #014

i’m not gonna be talking about the leetle thing.

Let’s talk about something violent instead. ୧(๑•̀v•́)૭

i don’t pay attention to sports and i especially don't pay attention to fighting. i’ve never paid-for-a-view in my entire life and I don’t know anyone who has.

But even i’m excited about the exhibition match.

It’s just straight-up hit.  (ง'̀-'́)ง

Samlee Packa. Some say the most modded man on earth, and certainly the most modded athlete. A kickboxing master with blinding speed, greased-up and dirty raw power, and a penchant for ending fights before the other guy’s brain can process the starting whistle. No one’s been able to compete with him for years, and no one’s agreed to step into the ring with him since he nearly crippled that guy. He’s got kind of a villainous persona, and he’s probably an asshole in person. But it takes so-psychotic-you-have-to-admire-it dedication to mod yourself that heavily just for sport, and in this match, he’s actually the underdog, so i understand why people are rooting for him.

Because he’s going up against KOA. (╥v╥) The one and only Knock-Out-Artist. A hulking, chiseled, mean-as-hell-looking android built to win bot fights in seconds and in hours. Faster, stronger, more durable than any person could ever be, with a whole team of computers running the numbers outside the ring, calculating and course correcting for the one series of bobs, weaves, dropkicks and hooks that will end the fight in as spectacular and brutal a fashion as possible.

They announced the fight months in advance, which is pretty odd considering how short people's attention spans have gotten. But this might the one sporting event hyped enough to actually deserve all that buildup- and when they say that Packa needs all that time to train, I believe it.

Not sure what the hell that training could entail, though. (¬､¬) Modded limbs don’t get stronger or weaker depending on how fast you run up stairs or how many eggs you eat in the morning. He can’t hit any harder than he already does unless he upgrades his limbs, and i doubt that’s easy. He can certainly afford the best of the best, and Hindy and all the other megs are gonna be scrambling to fit him with their shiniest models with the biggest logos- but it takes time to get used to new mods. Maybe that’s what he means by training?

Could be, but i have a hard time imagining such a fierce looking guy doing gentle physical therapy exercises to build back his muscle memory.

They say KOA’s got a training regiment too, which makes sense. KOA was built to fight other robots. They’ll have to practice punching down (literally- Packa’s 2 meters tall after his latest fitting, but KOA’s over 230cm easy). 

Truth is, I’m not actually sure who i’m gonna root for. Obviously my first instinct is to root for my fellow human, but the more i think about it the worse I feel for KOA. It’s a machine built for the express purpose of winning fights. If Packa loses, he’ll still be the strongest man alive. If KOA loses, it’ll be

Defective

But maybe i’m overthinking things. KOA will almost certainly win via Knock Out, because it’s in the damn name. And even if Packa does win, there’ll be a better KOA out next year, or the year after.

In theory, Packa could keep getting stronger too, but all the money in the world can’t keep you young if you’re also taking android-strength blows to the head regularly. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ And if he wants to pass the torch, i’m not sure how many volunteers he’d be able to find. It’s a big world, but they say that Packa’s just a spine and a brain at this point. His successor would have to be even less human than that.

And then we’d be back to watching androids fight androids.

 ( •_•)                  (•_• )   

( ง )ง                ୧( ୧ )  

 /︶\                   /︶\

Offering valuable ringside analysis,

Your nightowl

PS: Seriously, don't mention the leetle thing