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shallowseeker · 1 year ago

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Ough. The truck of dads, the dad of trucks!

Ok, I had time this morning before work to go look at 12x15, and now I'm on lunch, and and I have Big Feelings that this occurs in 12x15: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell.

I love season 12 soooo much:

First, that's just a few episodes after 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (with You), which featured the third near-death-of-the-human-family. There's so much going on at this point with Dean and Cas! The near-deaths are a huge part the push-pull dynamic. As a SPN rule, it's terrifying to love and devastating to be part of a family you'll inevitably be separated from.

And in Dean and Cas's case, it's terrifying to be in love.

///

First Blood We had the near-Billie kill in 12x09 First Blood, which was horrifying for Cas. He stepped in to shield them.

Cas is reeling with the knowledge that after his human family dies, he'll be alone. He ignores Mary's calls and sits alone, as the specter of the boys' dead bodies plays out onscreen.

INT. MEN OF LETTERS - DAY CAS. Sitting at the long table. Staring at his phone. One missed call, from "MARY." And we pull back, as Cas puts his head in his hands. Until he's as small as possible in the frame. ALL ALONE. INT. MORGUE - DAY CLOSE ON: SAM and DEAN. Laying side by side on gurneys, in unzipped BODY BAGS. DEAD.

Cas's actions in stepping in to kill Billie were certainly exacerbated by Mary's previous pressure and expectations, but underneath that, I suspect a delayed/repressed horror stemming all the way back from the Dean-Amara-soul-bomb incident.

Fun aside -> Mary also sets a new family precedent, which Cas will follow! You tell your family, "I love you," before you go.

// Funnily enough, it is this event that also causes Mary, ever the child-soldier, to feel guilt and rush toward the British MoL. Makes sense, really. Mary's last clear memory of losing family was watching her parents die to protect her from Azazel. She's gonna balk. She watched John die, too, that same night. It's not something she...does very well with.

It's funny because the MoL are a hunting-network substitute for the Campbell hunting family, but they're also not a family substitute, because they're expendable. They live more fully in the realm of "fellow soldier."

// Plus, there's the whole John-substitute of it all. Mary knows she was too hard on Cas in this episode; she knows she let the dynamic drift into expectations that weren't really fair (even though she'll reach for Cas's strength again in 12x12).

Here, she got to see Cas come undone and paralyzed over loss, which no doubt called to mind John's journal and perhaps her own feelings when John died the very first time.

But by the end of the episode, Mary's getting her head around the situation. She's decided she wants to be strong and support them. When Mary's driving, she peeks back at Dean and Cas, satisfied.

The funny thing about Dean and Mary is they are cognizant of and wish for each other's happiness. (This is how I view Dean's wish for John in Lebanon. It was for Mary.)

Here, Mary seems resolved to hunt and be a part of the family unit. Until Billie. Cas isn't supposed to sacrifice in place of Mary; nobody out-sacrifices Mary Winchester.

...which triggers her freakout and puts her down the path of British MoL, and ultimately, she nearly destroys what she wants to protect.

I love it so much.

MICK: "A world without monsters. A better world." // MARY: "I'm listening."///

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Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets I know. If we start talking about 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, we'll be here all day. But it's the second near-Death. This death isn't quite like the one in First Blood, which was a group thing. This one is more focused on Dean, more intimate in nature.

Dean is so spun out over Cas shielding him that he gives him the silent treatment. He passively-aggressively tells Cas what he thinks:

DEAN: Wow, this Benjamin seems like he's pretty cool, you know. Like he wouldn't make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices. CAS: Yeah, you know what I like about him? Is that he's sarcastic, but he's thoughtful and appreciative, too.

Dean is caught between a rock and hard place. He wants to be loved, but that's scary. He wants that love to be safe and free from sacrifice and pain (unless, of course, he's the one doing it). Cas, on the other hand, wants to be appreciated for putting himself through the ringer. He likes being protective, as we'll see in his, ahem, future-vision in the 12x19 script, with that deep wish for majestic wings and shirtless stature.

Aside// The whole specter of May Sunder haunts this episode, which features Lily's cruel plight of losing Akobel as he stands to protect the family and prevent danger from getting in the front door, and then she loses May anyway.

Ultimately, this will get echoed with the loss of Cas, and then Jack. (In fact, Cas dies in 12x23 in front of a "door.")

///

So, anyway, a big moment in this episode is when Ishim calls Dean's bluff.

Dean is smart; he knows that speed is the key to banishing an angel, and yet, instead of slamming down on the banishing, he scrambles to the side like a hermit crab to actively show Ishim the sigil. It's only a delaying tactic...and Ishim gleefully clocks that.

So, Dean refuses to potentially mortally injure Cas, and he lowers his hand, resigning himself to death.

Meanwhile, Cas's whole world is shifting underneath him. Cas is the one who let Dean come along, and now Dean's yet again dragged into Heaven's business. (This Heaven business is what got Dean killed against Metatron in season 9, mind you. It's a very sore spot.)

And Cas is cornered. Here he is, nearly passed out, the last words audible to are about how Ishim is gonna kill Dean. Cas looks at Dean, and he's silently begging Dean to take the risk and blast him away.

When Dean lowers his hand, we don't get Cas's reaction, but make no mistake, he was horrified. If Cas had been stronger, he wouldn't have lost to Ishim in the first place, if he'd been smarter he would have figured out Ishim's lies, and if he'd been more resilient, Dean could risk an angel banishment with fear of hurting him.

Ishim scoffs, "That's what I thought." He's clocked Dean's feelings this entire time, and that's what makes him angry. That Dean returns them (whereas Lily did not). The whole exchange functions as Ishim asking Dean a question about his feelings. Ishim is like Chuck.

This whole episode triggers a lot of talk about human weakness. Cas is feeling weak again. Ishim's words about Cas being sad and pathetically weak are ringing in his ears, and they'll keep ringing no matter what Dean and Sam say, because twice now this season...Cas has almost watched them die.

DEAN: "You're not weak, Cas. You know that, right?"

Oh, you know. That old Supernatural theme. Love (of all kinds, romantic/familial/parental/etc) makes you strong, but it makes you weak. Etc etc etc.

After this, Cas is spooked. He leaves ASAP in a desperate scramble to find Kelly Kline. It's foreshadowing that emotional truth he tells Dean in 12x19 The Future, that he's in desperate need of a win, for Dean and for himself.

This also sets up Cas's turn to Heaven for support, icing out and ignoring Dean.

///

Stuck in the Middle (with You) The third near-Death is another group effort in 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (with You). It's less intimate than the Lily Sunder scenario. Because it's group jeopardy, it feels like Cas is echoing Mary's "I love you," from First Blood.

I suspect these dynamics are why the "I love you," feels difficult for Dean to puzzle out and determine the meaning of, Cas's behavior afterwards notwithstanding.

DEAN: Cas, come on. CASTIEL: No, you listen to me. You– Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it... it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that... [inhales sharply] the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you. Just please... please, don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can. DEAN: Cas, no. CASTIEL: Yes. You need to keep fighting.

With Ramiel, Cas is begging them to leave him. This is Cas's repressed anger over Dean lowering his hand from the sigil in 12x10. It's an echo of Dean's hypocritical anger over the cosmic consequences of First Blood. It also calls to mind their phone call in early season 11. The "Are you okay?" with a symbolic, answering, "No, are you okay?"

This time, Cas has a forceful message for Dean, "NO. You listen to ME." He's telling Dean to leave this time, and it's certainly part of a larger disagreement between them. Certainly.

It's so nifty, because this is so much more dynamic than a surface-level worry about what the "I love you" does or doesn't mean.

Just look at Cas's face when he thinks he's about to watch them die. That's the heart of the issue in this episode.

I mean, we've got it all in here, folks!

We've got the watch: the symbol that Cas's time with the mortal human family is running too short. It was always going to run too short.

We've got the orange glow: they're all lit by the flame of familial loss.

I think this is another reason that the thought of Jack Kline is so comforting. Jack's the triple gambit: he gives Cas a Cause worthy of staying on Earth, he's a Power Higher than Cas that can protect his human family, and he's also every bit as immortal as Cas and Jack should/will outlive him.

Anyway, after this, Dean gives Cas a mixtape full of songs that represent romantic love. (Led Zeppelin is the John-Mary love story that Dean clung to, despite that everything in the world was telling him to doubt the very concept of love.)

Dean doesn't doubt that Cas loves him, but he is trying to test the waters and determine if it's romantic, or more familial, like how Mary meant it in First Blood. Dean had resolved long ago to keep it in the realm of Cas's chivalric comradery, but now he finds himself hoping for something more along the lines of Zepp's "Thank You."

And Cas? Cas leaves again. From what we can tell, he stays in contact with Dean until 12x15, when this trucker song of yours starts to play, signifying Cas's pulling away from the human family in favor of using Heaven and going radio silent.

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Between Heaven and Hell

Which brings us to it, 12x15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell. I forgot how much I loved this episode. We get that awkwardly timed moment at around the 6-minute mark where Sam's phone call to Mary overlaps with Dean's call to Cas:

[exterior, Sam and Dean exit Baby at the crime scene, Sam talking on the phone to Mary, Dean talking to Cas] DEAN: Oh, really? SAM: Oh, that's great, Mom. Oh.- No, we're -- we're fine. We, uh... DEAN: - It sounds like somethin'. SAM: Yeah. Love you, too. DEAN (quietly, overlapped with Sam's words): All right, Cas. Let us know.

Do I think Dean has given Cas the mixtape by this point? Yes. Yes, I do. I think there's this whole ghost of, "I love you, too," in Dean's actions, and he's waiting for Cas to "let him know," if Cas meant what Dean hoped he meant.

Meanwhile, Cas is having a freakout about the consequences of his Lucifer-jailbreak (Kelly Kline) and all of the Winchester near-deaths that he felt powerless to stop. Cas is continuing to grapple with the mortal-immortal-ness of it all, too.

So, Cas gets on the field again, and in this episode, he's at least got a line of communication to Dean. They may be longing for each other, and they may not be on the same page, but at least they're in contact.

And here's your diner song, @cuddlemonsterdean, just after the cleverly edited overlap above.

Cas is in a "family" diner when he hears it. (I can't help but think of Kara, too, the waitress from season 8's The Great Escapist, who was killed by Heaven; Heaven slaughtered the entire family diner.) There's this complex interplay of Heaven interfering with the human family, like how the corporate world tries to suck fathers dry under the guise of offering resources, protection, and prestige. Heaven is a like a Mack truck.

[interior, shot of a tabloid newspaper with a photo of burnt angel wings in a parking lot where Dagon had killed two angels in 12.13, and an article about a waitress at a diner who met an “untimely and violent demise at the hands of an irate alien,” according to her manager, Herb Nelson. Cas is the one reading the article, standing in that diner. He flashes his FBI credentials (upside down, of course). Lorene Mercer’s "Ballad of a Truck Driver’s Wife" plays.]

And you're right about those damn lyrics. I mean, where do we fucking start?

Six days a week you're gone, you leave your wife and kids at home We play second fiddle to the truck you own Just when we need you so, that's when you have to go That's how it is when you're married to a truck-drivin' man Here today, and gone tomorrow, to make your run again ... Just remember we're all waiting patiently We'll just be waiting here And longing for you, dear And that's how it is, when you're married to a truck-drivin' man

Then, Kelvin shows up. And well, Kelvin is leaning against the truck, waiting for Cas. Then, Kelvin offers up Heaven's muscle and resources. (The funny thing is, Heaven also wants Cas's muscle in this mission.)

But that's the layout of the scenes. We have (1) that cleverly edited phone call, then (2) Cas hearing the song in the diner, and then we get this (3): Cas is visually moving from a "family diner" towards his dad-of-obligations truck ("work"/"Heaven"), where Kelvin waits.

KELVIN: We want you. Look, you got more field experience than the next thousand angels combined. CASTIEL: I think you overestimate me. KELVIN: I don't. Look, I know you're working with the Winchesters. Sam and Dean -- their hearts are in the right place, but wouldn't it be better to have us waiting in the proverbial wings? All the power of Heaven behind you? ... KELVIN: You ever miss it? Upstairs? I mean, don't get me wrong. I love Earth. It's quirky. It smells like hay.

Kelvin says that Earth is "quirky," and "smells like hay." He's effectively saying that Cas has chosen a lower-class lifestyle without glory.

In 12x19, we'll get the answer to that part: Cas says he doesn't care about his reputation. He's only using the power the ensure the wellbeing of his human family, like a dad should. Because while Cas could be "king," he chooses instead to be "king of the family/household." (This is an interesting contrast to the Sam-Rowena-Crowley triad of ambition.)

Simultaneously, Cas does long for home, for a world of immortals like himself who he won't as easily lose to time. He longs for Heaven to be what's it's clearly not: a family, with all its faults. He'd like Heaven to be somewhere that he can visit, "to come and go as he pleases." He ultimately chooses his human home above all else, though. Kelvin kind of gets that, which is why he switches tactics and urges Cas to "hear Joshua out, for the greater good."

///

The Future

Then, what do we get? We get an unhinged, worried Dean in 12x17-12x19. Cas comes back home after a concerning drought of non-communication. Dean is not used to this from Cas anymore, and he certainly wasn't expecting it after all...that. (That being the mixtape and the "I love you, I love all of you.")

Cas walks back through the door. We learn that not only was Dean calling him over and over, but he was obsessively checking morgues for Cas's body.

DEAN: Whatever. Welcome home back.

We get this image of a very upset Dean, sitting at his desk running a search program.

We know this location is probably where Cas's absence found Dean often. And we see now, as he rubs his neck in a self-soothing pattern, he's still very upset.

///

Then, humiliatingly, Cas tries to return the mixtape. So much for testing the waters.

And what does Dean do? Dean soldiers on and gives the mixtape back unconditionally, resolved to give his love regardless if it's returned or not, and to receive Cas's love in any way he can.

He can't even look at Cas as he does it:

Dean is a little embarrassed here, fumbling his words as he and Cas both converse in covert ways to try and feel each other out. Cas is trying to figure out if Dean loves him; Dean is trying to ease the ache of perceived rejection.

So, Dean tells Cas that they're stronger together, defaulting to brothers-in-arms. "You, me, and Sam." Tragically, they're talking past one another again, not quite syncing up on each other's intentions.

Nevertheless, I think Dean still has a sliver of hope for things to work out. He wants to keep trying to fit Cas into his life, and to accept Cas's love in whatever form it comes. He's adamant about defending Cas to Sam:

Sam: How did this happen? Dean: (Scoffs) What? The lying? The Heaven plan? Or the fact that I'm working on this stupid truck? Sam: No, I mean, what's wrong with Cas? Dean: Well, he hasn't exactly had a banner year. I mean, think about it. Between Lucifer (Blows air) killing Billie, Ramiel, everything's been blowing up in his face. And he's so desperate for a win right now, he can't even see straight. (gestures to truck) Go ahead and give it a try. (Sam climbs in truck)

Dean is resolving to keep trying to fix things, because he really, really wants Cas and Cas-as-family-truck in his life. He gets where Cas is coming from, emotionally. He knows that Cas is not turning to Heaven for ambition but for complicated emotional reasons on their behalf.

///

And when Cas is mind-whammied, Dean resolves to fight for him, because this makeshift family with Mary and Cas is everything he's ever wanted, no matter how imperfect it is.

Dean holds onto Cas's arm and pleads:

"We're not gonna just let you walk again. Not again."

It's a little bit like Amelia Novak in that way. This time, Dean is going to do him damnedest to keep Cas safe and support him.

That's part of why Cas's death in season 12 hits him so hard. Dean had come to a decision about what's important in his life and what he's going to fight for. "This has to work," he tells Sam in 12x23. "It has to."

But he still lost everything anyway. Dean is powerless. And then, he doesn't even get a chance to make a deal. He can't bring Cas back, because angels are beyond the purview of their machinations. And God's not listening.

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

Blaming @cuddlemonsterdean for this one, actually.

Your posts about Cas's cars and also his tendency to go lone wolf and just leave for long periods of time and not communicate with Dean made me think again of how poignant it felt when they played Ballad Of A Truck Driver's Wife while Cas is off investigating the angel deaths in the diner in 12x15. I mean the lyrics "Six days a week you're gone, you leave your wife and kids at home, we play second fiddle to the truck you own. Just when we need you so, that's when you have to go, and that's how it is when you're married to a truck driver man" ??? and then towards the end the "we'll just be waiting for you here, and longing for you dear" it's so !!! like isn't that how it must be like for Dean, he's so frustrated because Cas leaving and not answering calls makes him so worried but Cas keeps doing it even when Dean tries to make him understand this. and Dean keeps longing for Cas to share home and heart with him, but based on the clues he has it seems that Cas doesn't see their relationship the same way and doesn't want to be with Dean like that, so waiting and longing is all he's left with T_T

Heaven business = truck driving

#asks #long posts #sorry #but also not sorry #you know how i am #cuddlemonsterdean tag #will add tags after work

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eddiemunsonsmiddlefingers · 4 years ago

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15x19 Decoder Ring (Meta)

Aight peeps, here’s my proposition: If the boys go out in a grimdark horrible way next week, it’s not in spite of losing Castiel, it’s because they lost him...and if that’s the case, then Castiel is the single most important character on this show.

I have reasons for saying this! And my reasons start aaaall the way back in season 5, in the episode where Sam and Dean discover the Supernatural books. In plot arch, they realize they are reading about their own lives, word for word. They spend the entire episode trying to work around that writing, only to walk right back into its grip again every. single time.

Until Castiel shows up.

Two important things happen once Castiel is involved:

They immediately start taking actions that meet the plot beat of Chuck’s book, but do not actually accomplish the goals of the “prophecy” as they then believed it to be.

Chuck looks at Castiel and says “You aren’t supposed to be here” like he’s genuinely surprised.

Essentially what happened is Sam and Dean stopped playing the story in a linear A > B > C fashion, and instead shifted to more of a “okay we’re at A, but we’re going to find our own way to point C, and maybe that involves visiting K and R out of order.” I also think the entire WORLD started to shift out of Chuck’s complete control at this point, but he may not have even noticed because he was so hyper focused on them.

Since the broskis were still hitting the beats of Chuck’s writing (and Dean in particular was still hitting many of the details as well, driven by despair and love and the obedience John drilled into him), even if they weren’t doing exactly what he wanted, he let them go. He found their free will fascinating, which we know because of his monologue at the poor Radio Shed employee (more on that soon). Castiel was an intriguing side note; he was clearly developing feelings for Dean, and how could that be? Just like the Winchesters veering off the path, that was a novelty, something Chuck’s never seen before. It was interesting though, so he let it be. It gave him some good emotional plot hooks, after all, so really it was a win-win for him.

Chuck kept writing, the stakes got greater, and the boys kept kicking ass...but eventually he started to get annoyed with their refusal to do as they were told. My guess, probably around the time the Darkness occurred, since Amara’s reappearance presented a direct threat to Chuck.

So...he started pushing around the chess pieces and observing patterns. *Why* didn’t the Winchester do what he said? Why were these Winchesters being such a royal pain in his ass?

He decided to directly fuck with them for the first time, just to see what happened. Chuck used one of his more easily controlled minions (Lucifer- more on that) to kill Castiel, then sits back to watch the chaos.

In the aftermath we see Dean first grieving (powerful, uncontrollable emotion) and then transform into this very...different...version of Dean. Angry. Irrational. Doing things none of us really believed Dean would do. He became a killer, you might say, rather than the Dean we know. He’s becoming what Chuck wants him to be, but his grief is so great and his armor so tight that Chuck can’t get his fingers back into Dean’s mind...and if he can’t control Dean, then he can’t control Sam.

And then...Jack wakes Castiel up. Dean is transformed from angry killer Dean to the soft, loving Dean we know...but Chuck’s raised the stakes so much and he’s so scared for his family that he goes right along with Chuck’s plan and lets Michael jump his meatsuit.

Bedlam.

Through all this, Chuck can’t figure out WHY. Why won’t the Winchesters do what he says? So he pokes and prods and pushes, once again raising the stakes. I don’t think he figured out what was really up until Cas went into Dean’s head and broke him free of Michael’s control. There’s really only one thing that can break an angel’s dream state, after all.

Ah. Dean’s in love. Dean loves this angel and that love is fucking up literally everything Chuck is trying to do. None of his plots are going the way he wants, he himself is in physical danger, and it’s all because Dean Winchester decided to fall in love with this fucking angel who was supposed to be a half season side plot and then move right along.

So Chuck starts throwing everything he can at Dean and Castiel to separate them. You can see it in the weird arguments they had, their break up scene, Cas choosing to leave and then coming back. You can see it in Dean’s growing anger, and the glimpses of his true personality that occasionally peek through. Chuck can’t directly control either of them, but he’s the one giving the PowerPoint presentation and the slides will turn, whether Dean and Cas want them to or not.

Nothing. Works. Cas just keeps coming back to Dean’s side. They keep forgiving each other. They keep having each other’s backs. It’s nutty and Chuck is getting frustrated and bored. He’s been around the block with these assholes. He’s obsessed with them, but also hates them. He wants them dead, he wants them to suffer, he wants them to acknowledge that he’s in charge...and then he he just wants to be done with the whole thing (We know this due to Radio Shed scene as well!).

He gets so pissed off he tells them what Castiel is, right to their face. The spanner in the works with the cracked chassis, the reason he can’t actually control them. Then he arranges for Cas and Dean to be in a life or death situation. For once it’s not about the brothers and their tragedy, it’s about getting these two APART. What happens when two people profoundly in love are stuck with an impossible choice?

For the first time since Castiel met Dean, Cas does what Chuck wants him to do and sacrifices himself to save Dean, but not before delivering a parting shot...emotional armor and a guiding light that Chuck cannot control nor stop.

in 15x19 we see Dean mourning. Through the entire first half of the episode he’s mourning. So is Sam, so is Jack. Even Michael is there, angry at his father and ready to go. Remember what I said about strong feeling before? Chuck can’t break that.

He needs a distraction...a chink in the armor, an open door.

So he uses his minion again (Howdy Lucifer) to grab Dean by the heart, flood him with hope so his walls go down, then literally open the door to Chuck’s control.

Boom. Back to A > B > C. Michael does a character flipflop because Chuck’s in charge of the script again. Everyone stops mourning Castiel because Chuck couldn’t give a flying FUCK about that asshole angel. He’s tired, he wants to be done, and he wants his dramatic end.

From that point on, they’re stuck in Chuck’s pre-written script. They defeat him in this super dramatic unexpected way, accompanied by a "gotcha” flashback sequence that belongs in bad whodunnit. Then, in a final fuck you to the Winchesters, Chuck sends them off into the sunset alone-but-together, robbed of everyone they’ve ever loved, and their very memories (the montage) reduced to those moments that CHUCK wanted them to remember. The clever moments, the funny ones, the gotchas. Nothing with real emotion attached. Nothing that might break the spell before they meet their true end (in 15x20)...the grimdark sequence that Becky read and was horrified by. And they do it still believing they have free will, when every step they take is written in a book they don’t know exists. Unless, you know. Cas comes back. ;)

#spn spoilers #15x19 #spn meta #destiel

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spnwatch · 4 years ago

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Season 2: The Rankings

Whew. Oh boy.

They were still puttering about in season 1 to an extent. But now? Now they’ve really hit their stride. This season was a veritable chocolate box of delights and I ate my way through it. The overall myth arc was kind of nonsensical, but that emotional throughline? Christ. Spn buries SO MUCH emotional complexity into its leads, and they cashed in every cent in that two part finale. It packs one hell of a punch. And yeah, okay, I knew the broad strokes, the twists and turns. It’s hard not to be spoilered for a season of tv that aired over a decade ago. But reader! It mattered not!! I. Still. Wept. That’s when you know it’s the good kush. 1.) 2x12: NIGHTSHIFTER. This one just snagged the top spot by merit of its sheer ambition. Supernatural often feels like a very empty universe to me, just two guys and one car drifting from place to place. Which is fine, it makes for compelling TV, but they totally flipped the script here and this episode really dazzles precisely because of that contrast. It’s a huge, cinematic episode, a metropolitan setting full of uncontrollable elements, and it’s great to see Sam and Dean so profoundly vulnerable. The outside world is pressing up against the windows. They have sniper dots trained on them! They are, literally and figuratively, out of their depth! We’re not in Kansas any more, baby. God, I haven’t even mentioned the supporting characters. The entire mandroid rant deserves an Emmy. Victor Henrickson’s entrance! Heist movie antics! Agh! 10/10

2.) 2x07: THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Again this episode was a cut above precisely because it showed us what the brothers look like from the outside: sketchy as all hell. It’s so good when reality ensures, because it’s great to be reminded they lead objectively insane lives! Through Linda Blair’s eyes we get to see just how unknowable, feral and amoral they appear to the eyes of polite society. Put under a microscope like this, they’re scary guys! They’re just not socialised like normal people. They don’t really care about being arrested, or about the felonies. Getting arrested is an irritant above everything else. They’re still working the case from the inside. They’re professionals; excellent liars, and totally in sync with each other. The handwritten notes they pass, like delinquent school kids! A delight! The thrill lies in watching Blair slowly unwrap their strange logic, and unravel the mystery of both the brothers and the ghost. Ugh, what a great perspective shift. I’m 100% here for it. 10/10

3.) 2x09: CROATOAN. Ugh, this setting. Small Town Gothic, complete with eerie mist, hostile locals and creepy Stepford vibes. Sam really shone in this episode. He’s so soothing and giant, and it made his suffering at the end all the more devastaing. The real reason this episode ranks so highly is their conversation in the surgery. It just killed me. Dean’s sheer, bone-deep exhaustion, his admission that he’s tired of the life. Sam’s despair, because he knows Dean won’t leave. The performances were so steller. I can’t even really think too deeply about it because it makes me too crazy. 10/10

4.) 2x21: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART ONE. I loved this finale so much more than the finale in Season 1, LOL. It might just be because I’m more invested now, who knows. The opening of this episode is a piece of art: Boston playing on the car stereo, the rain, the small cafe, the lighting. Gorgeous. I love when they have to interact with ordinary people! It adds so much: texture, humour, personality! It draws things out of Sam and Dean that we just don’t see when they have each other to bounce off of. It was so good to see Ava and Andy again. “I just woke up in freakin’ Frontierland!” The gang’s all here, folks! This episode would rank higher, but recieves minus points for the long boring speech the demon gives Sam, and killing off the first gay in the show 0.2 seconds after her introduction. Anyway. The ending of course unzipped me; Dean cradling Sam’s dead body, muttering “It’s okay, it’s not even that bad.” The elation of their reunion, so devastaingly cut short! Sam, twenty two years old, bleeding out in the mud. The sheer, hopelessness of it all. The horror. My notes for the end of the episode simply read: “Dean oh Christ. Oh my God. Oh no.” It’s just one of those scenes that stay with you long after the credits start rolling. 9/10

5.) 2x20: WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE. I never thought I could be so profoundly upset by watching a man happily mowing a lawn. Dean’s trauma over the loss of his mother has undercut the whole show up until this point, and here it bursts to the fore. What really got me was the simplicity of it all. Just a sit-down dinner, an engagement. A beer on the porch. Fuck, he deserves it. He deserves everything. All the performances were great, they really served to show there’s a whole life in these AU characters. The fact it wasn’t all perfect was bizarrely more devastating. AU Sam’s weird straight hair and dorky jacket sealed the deal for me, as did his baffled terror in the warehouse. But even here, with no training and no idea what’s happening, he gets into the Impala! Because that’s his brother! Because I’m a huge baby I had to remove points because of how upsetting I found Sam’s quiet hostility towards Dean, HA. But that’s really just a testament to how well-realised their dynamic has become by the second season. 9/10

6.) 2x15: TALL TALES. Every single thing Sam does in any of Dean’s memories. Also alien slowdance set to “Lady in Red.” Also Bobby breaking them up like they’re petulant children. Gold, all of it gold. 9/10

7.) 2x11: PLAYTHINGS. So I’m a slut for a cool setting, obviously. Turns out, Supernatural did The Haunting of Bly Manor fifteen years ago. The swimming pool! The attic! Creepy dolls! The weird little playground! This episode has it all! I loved the saga between the ghost sister and the old lady, which would honestly make a killer movie in its own right. But I’m digressing. The main star of this episode was, of course, Dean’s profound and escalating sexual insecurities. “Well, you are kinda butch. People probably think you’re overcompensating.” FATALITY. I would’ve placed this one higher but the weird incestuous undertones kinda squicked me out... however, I did think we were meant to be creeped out by it, which is more than I can say for some other uh. Instances. It was, after all, beautifully paralelled at the end with the two sisters reuniting in death. “I can’t leave here, and you can’t leave me.” SHUDDER. Also, honestly, can Sam have one (1) breakdown on his own without Dean’s own emotional baggage taking over? Older siblings, smh. 9/10

8.) 2x22: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART TWO. This one ranks lower than part one purely because I thought the yellow-eyed demon’s overall plot was kinda nonsensical, and I cared not for John’s weird deux ex machina moment. Like do you expect me to feel sorry for that bitch? I don’t! Anyway, that being said, let’s move on to Dean’s eyes in the junkyard when Bobby asks him, “do you have that low an opinion of yourself?” They’re so flat. So dead, like a shark’s. He doesn’t need to say anything back, because it’s all over his face. That non-expression says it all. This is the culmination of the emotional arc that began with his savage beatdown of the Impala in episode 2x02. To call it survivor’s guilt wouldn’t even begin to cover what Dean goes through this episode. It’s all in Ackles’ performance; in the the way he yells, “What am I supposed to do now, Sammy?” The complete claustrophobia of it all. There’s nothing for it but to make the deal. Dean’s been moving inexorably towards this moment for the entire season. 9/10

9.) 2x13: HOUSES OF THE HOLY. What a kooky little episode! Magic fingers! Sam’s costcutter seance purchases! The scooby-doo placemat he uses as a makeshift altar! I love him, your honour. Obviously this episode has a lot of *~dramatic irony~* in it because of the later seasons, but it stands alone as a total banger. I was so gutted for Sam when the "angel” was revealed. So many good little Sam moments to be found in this episode. His soft, quiet little revelation that he prays every day. His awkward, earnest explanation to the horrified priest! Dean gets some great moments chasing down the would-be rapist down those dark, snow-covered streets. His speech to Sam where he explains his lack of belief is brief, but it’s a total gut punch. Rounding it off with Knockin on Heaven’s Door was just the cherry on top. 9/10

10.) 2x14: BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN. Ahaha I love the way Dean acts whenever Sam’s psychic powers come up. He treats him like a rebellious teen, it’s so funny. “What’s going on with you, Sam? Smokin’, drinkin’?” As if Sam’s behaviour was a) at all under his control or b) anything Dean wouldn’t HIMSELF do. Dean’s just like, this isn’t how I raised you! Truly hysterical. The whole sequence between Meg!Sam and Jo was fantastic and horrible. Sam’s huge physique is never threatening, but it really was in that moment. The interplay between them was totally spine-tingling. Meg’s impression Sam slowly crumbling away over the course of the episode was so compelling and I’m sure it will be a really fun rewatch now I know the *twist*. 9/10

Favourite lines this season:

The way Sam says “black cat’s bone” in 2x08

“You’re not gonna go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?!” - Dean, 2x13

“Dean, this is a very serious investigation, we don’t have time for your blah blah blah blah.” - Sam (according to Dean), 2x15

“I’m fine, except for every single thing that’s happening.” - Ava, 2x21

#I feel like I'm exposing myself as a sam girl here #I love them equally I swear #supernatural #there's so much i left out like my comprehensive love for JO #what does she have? A KNIFE #I just didn't really dig NO EXIT as an episode sadly #spnwatch

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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eeeee I’m very happy that a dead Cas is now officially chuck's ideal ending. (Kind of? I mean,,,, he told Sam that what he showed him is what would happen if TFW won, but it was still the ending *Chuck* has been wanting.) either way! It’s now textually part of the What We Absolutely Can’t Let Happen package!

Lol, I mean, a dead Sam and Dean are officially part of Chuck’s ideal ending, so it’s kinda like... if Chuck is targeting you like that, if he specifically and horrifically wants you off the table that bad because he knows that with you alive then his plans fall apart... yeah...

Which, honestly... explains an awful lot why Chuck’s spent so much effort keeping Cas busy with other stuff in the past. I’m entirely rethinking s6 and s7 here, because this explains so much. It’s not that Cas was being controlled by anyone, but after 5.22, Cas... poked at things. He let (half of, anyway) Sam out of the cage, he stood up to Raphael who was scheduled to finish the apocalypse, and then he teamed up with Crowley to hoover all the souls out of Purgatory.

I mean Chuck was probably giddy with anticipation over the leviathan getting freed, you know? He didn’t even have to interfere to bring on his monster apocalypse. Just sit back and watch the chaos. He didn’t even mind Death nudging Dean in the right direction a few times, because Dean was so busy with his own immediate problems he couldn’t figure out Death’s hints in time to stop Cas anyway... And then Cas inadvertently and conveniently cleared himself off the table once the monsters were free. And yet... something about this wasn’t entirely satisfying, and Cas was brought back without his memories and stashed away to what... to give Dean a bit of hope that Chuck could just dash again? Because then Cas stashed himself away AGAIN after fixing Sam and taking on the trauma that was killing him, and then stashed himself in Purgatory for a while before coming back as an unwitting pawn of Heaven.

I think Chuck enjoys watching Cas go through this over and over again.

“Punishment resurrection.”

But s15 TFW isn’t the same fractured and scattered TFW from s6. They know Chuck’s God. And they know he’s the antagonist who keeps pushing them through more and more horrific versions of his own ugly story.

Billie is not OG Death, and she’s willing to bide her time and plan.

Sam is not soulless. He’s been through all of this before, and he’s endured, and he’s gonna endure again. He may have had his hope shaken a bit, but I don’t think that’s something Chuck can actually take from him entirely. As long as he’s alive, there’s a chance.

Dean is not the grieving, out of the loop shell of himself he was in s6. He knows what’s going on now, even if everything seems kinda bleak... He’s already established that in addition to Sam (who’s not in hell or soulless now), he also needs Cas in his life, even if it’s just the two of them sitting at the table commiserating.

And Cas... finally understands that Dean wants him to stay, needs him to stay, and that every time Dean has told him this before (even if it was worded differently, because Dean struggles to express himself directly) Cas had left anyway-- for Dean’s own safety, to shield Dean from having to do something terrible, to sacrifice himself so Dean wouldn’t have to-- Dean didn’t care because all he could see was I asked him to stay and he left anyway. I am not enough. I am not worth staying for. And now in Purgatory, they finally began to have that conversation. Cas got a win for Dean, a year worth of s8 prayers that Cas had heard have been condensed into a single prayer that finally brought them together instead of convincing Cas he needed to keep running away to protect Dean. Instead of shoving Dean through the portal and staying behind, Cas waited at the portal for Dean and they walked back through together. Almost like ALL of the things that have been haunting Cas and driving him to penance since s6 have at least begun to be addressed and resolved in s15.

What were we talking about at the top of this? I think I’ve gone off on a tangent again...

RIGHT! Chuck’s gotta nerf Cas for his plot to work out.

It’s wild, right? Because Chuck’s whole “This Is Your Future Life” episode he crafted to convince Sam that locking him away with a Mark is a terrible idea that can only end one way... Do you know how frustrating it must’ve been for Chuck to have to stop them from caging him? Because it was a double-edged sword. I mean, on the one hand, I’m sure he LOVED the idea of Cas slowly going mad with the Mark until Dean was compelled to lock him in a ma’lak box and bury him right along with his hope and happiness, but if they had succeeded in casting that spell, then CHUCK WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WATCH HIS FAVORITE SHOW. Like Amara in that same cage, his fun would’ve been over.

Can’t watch all the suffering if you’re locked in a cosmic dungeon!

It’s incredibly funny to me that Chuck convinced Sam that his nonsensical “future” was a true seeing, that he “shared his omniscience” with Sam with that watch. Because the one thing the show has demonstrated over the years that Chuck sincerely hopes they’ve forgotten, is that you can’t change the past, but the future is never set in stone until it comes to pass. And the future is built on choices.

Chuck can account for a lot of things, but he can’t account for Free Will. He can nudge, he can remove options, he can create roadblocks leaving only terrible choices open to them that will have awful consequences or require painful sacrifices, but... TFW has never completely done what they’re told, you know? Cas is the original “spanner in the works,” and Edlund once commented that yes, he has a “crack in his chassis,” but it’s a crack through which great things come. But Sam and Dean also have this frustrating and fascinating gift to stymie Chuck’s plot.

And this is the true power of TFW. I think this is the tool they need to fully understand for themselves in order to finally win. They’ve been edging around it for a while, but Chuck always finds some way to foil them when they start getting close to examining their own wants. Like every time Dean starts talking about being able to take a vacation, or feeling hopeful that the future looks a little less bloodsoaked for them, Chuck steps in and throws them a monster of a curveball. Last time Dean started up with the toes-in-the-sand talk, he’d been possessed by AU Michael by the end of the episode, and crushed like a bug, his free will rendered entirely irrelevant. No amount of fighting against Michael, of telling him to get out, was able to free him. And then Chuck showed up again to hammer the lesson home. Only they learned a different lesson from the one he was trying to teach.

Heck, that’s another frustrating thing for Chuck, isn’t it? TFW has a long, long history of doing that.

Dabb even tweeted lyrics from “The End” by the Doors before this episode aired. Because this was a 5.04 redux, in a lot of ways. The circumstances of the future that Chuck imagined to horrify Sam may be entirely different, but the premise, the themes, the structure of it all... it’s functionally identical. But that was a distraction of sorts, as well. The other episode this referred back to... was 9.18.

Metatron showed his hand, revealed his process, and it’s identical to Chuck’s, because Metatron was just playing God, in the exact same way Chuck always did. He was a writer.

CASTIEL: And you did all this to make me a hero?METATRON [laughing]: Ah, that's priceless. Um no. You are not the hero in this mess-terpiece. You are the villain. I'm the hero.

and

METATRON: Didn't quite turn out as I'd planned, but that is why we rewrite. That was God's problem, you know... he published the first draft. You got to keep at it till you get all your ducks in a row.GADREEL: Was the Winchesters grabbing me part of your plan?METATRON: That was a surprise. But, hey, what writer doesn't love a good twist? My job is to set up interesting characters and see where they lead me. The by-product of having well-drawn characters is...They may surprise you. But I know something they don't know...the ending. How I get there doesn't matter as long as everybody plays their part.

Chuck also thinks he knows the ending. He’s absolutely convinced-- a la Lucifer’s conviction in 5.04 that “no matter what choices you make, we’ll always end up here,” and Metatron’s conviction that the ending was always destined to happen, couldn’t account for the true nature of humanity. Lucifer never saw it, because he never bothered to look for it. Metatron only saw it after he’d been rendered human himself. And Chuck? He thinks he understands, that his “omniscience” gives him a complete understanding of his creation, and yet... there’s things that humanity has created that he could never have dreamed up for himself.

He was right back in 11.22 (oh, hello Bobo episode again) when he told Amara that creation needed to be born, that it became something better than them. And yet Chuck can’t stop inflicting his own tired, formulaic story on his favorite characters. Because Amara was also right about him, that he was also greedy, and selfish, and only wanted to feel “big.” Chuck admitted that to Becky in 15.04, until he got over his writer’s block and started writing with a vengeance.

Wait, what was this about again? *scrolls up*

OH! Right! Nerfing Cas so the writer can have his way with everyone else. Kind of a long-standing tactic, no? And it’s not even about limiting Cas’s angel powers, but about Cas himself, and what he means to TFW. And it’s taken Cas a VERY long time to even begin to understand this. It’s not what he can do for them, it’s not being “useful” or “powerful” or being able to wave a hand and whoosh away the bad guy. It’s about him being HIM. It’s about him standing up to Dean and telling him he’s being stupid, and Dean listening and following him when if they’d gone their separate ways they both probably would’ve failed in Purgatory. It’s about them having each other’s backs and anticipating each other’s needs, and knowing that they aren’t alone and are wanted and needed because they are the best friend the other has ever had. And there’s something to that very human connection, that very human concept of family and love that Chuck... is incapable of understanding.

Whenever love rears its ugly head, Chuck rushes in to crush it. Because in love lies hope, lies a power that he can’t beat down. It’s a plot twist he can’t write his way out of.

Amara tried to give the very beginning of that to Dean in 11.23, to give him a chance to understand Mary, and Chuck couldn’t abide it. Jack is too powerful in a mojo-way, sure, but his true power for all of TFW was love. And Rowena-- pushed into self-sacrifice after Chuck “pinataed Hell”-- her entire journey into TFW had been about love.

Remember the plot of Metatron’s narrative? Love, and heartbreak, and love? Yeah. Remember how he thought he defeated Cas? By killing Dean Winchester? Yeah.

Big picture themes time? Chuck tried to drive wedges between TFW and everything they love. And has been trying to force his own contrived romance plots on them. But Chuck doesn’t understand love at all.

That’s their one true weapon against Chuck, if they each can learn to wield it.

How did my intended lol response to your question turn into this? That’s the cosmic lol for you.

#spn 15.09 #spn 15.04 #spn 5.04 #spn 9.18 #spn 11.22 #spn 11.23 #chuck's process #grand unification via love theory #Anonymous

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houseofglass · 5 years ago

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Supernatural 15 x 12 thoughts with spoilers. And swearing.

Oh my.

I know I said I was enjoying this final season for the cheesiness, but oh my 15x12 was bad. So bad. So very bad.

Where to begin?

Oh so bad.

Kaia’s interactions with others was bad. Not her acting, that was okay, but the lines she had to say to other people were just bad. Sam and Dean agree to help her, are huddled in the bunker trying to find a solution, and she rushes them? Like, what the fuck? Is this supposed to be tension-building? She sounded like a brat demanding to get her way. Like, back off bitch, they’re working on a solution. Geez.

And what in the holy hell was that hug from Kaia to Dean? Seriously, what the fucking fuck? He held a motherfucking gun to her head and now she’s happy to see him? That made no sense at all. None. Nada. Double geez.

And what the shit was that scene about with her beating up the Winchesters? Do the writers actually think that the audience would believe these two seasoned hunters would allow someone to sneak up on them like that? Really? Sam was such a bamf way back when and now he’s a pretty punching bag. Fucking geez.

Enough about a side character I don’t care about. Let’s move on.

What in the twisted Earth was that scene of Cas and Jack playing connect four? What is the show going for? Trying to show them as goddamn children? Misha did a shit job in acting that scene, it was actually horrifying to watch. Okay wait, maybe his acting wasn’t as bad as the source material. I mean, I can see that actors are put on the spot and have to act things they think are stupid, but come the fuck on. Playing connect four like he had to explain it to Jack? Horrified geez. Maybe someone was trying to go for a show of innocence. What an absolute failure.

But what pissed me off the most, the absolute most, was the complete lack of chemistry between Sam and Dean. They barely spoke. J2 failed me here, oh yeah, I said it, they failed. It felt forced and badly timed. Was this the episode they were filming when Jared got drunk and allegedly assaulted people? It would make sense because Jared looked awful. Just awful. His hair was badly done and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. Fuck me I don’t like saying it but dammit Jared, get your shit together, I expect more from you.

And what in tarnation was all the Destiel about? Why were there so many scenes of Dean and Cas? Even right in the beginning during Chuck’s monologue and he was saying it’s all Sam and Dean....there was a scene of fucking Cas and Dean at the goddamn kitchen table in the background!?!?? Get that shit cleaned up, people. For fuck’s sake, if you’re going to talk about Sam and Dean then show fucking clips of Sam and Dean! Exhausted geez.

Wait, I’m not done. Even when Billie showed up (zero complaints there), why was her staff dividing the brothers and including Cas on Dean’s side? I felt like those shots were poorly set up. I expect more from Richard, if he’s the one that directed it.

Dean drinking beer and then immediately seen sipping whiskey with Cas? What the shitting fuck? Is that all Dean does now, sit and drink? The scene looked staged and out of place, like it was shot and it was the best material they had so the editors included it but it didn’t fit in the story, like maybe it was shot for a different episode and they had to include it to make up the full 41 minutes of the show.

Actually, that’s what most of the episode felt like: they shot a bunch of stuff and made do with what they had rather than shoot some more stuff, maybe some better transition stuff or better acted stuff.

This episode was probably done to wrap up the Wayward Sisters/Daughters/I can’t remembers stuff and it sucked. It sucked so hard I’m embarrassed for J2.

Fucking geez. I get why the fandom is complaining so much. This episode was so bad it’s not even B-list-funny-bad. It’s just bad.

At least the promo for the next episode looked kinda funny.

#spn #season 15 #spoilers #15x12 #so goddamn bad #Destiel #J2 #Jack #Cas #Kaia #Wayward Whatever

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mycasandstarrs · 6 years ago

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SPN 10x05: “Fan Fiction”

As a former theatre kid, this episode brings me so much joy.

“Ghost? Meet Winchester.”

There’s our girl!

“Where is the Samulet?”

“Oh! I took it off. It kept hitting me in the lips, and...”

“That amulet is the symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love!”

!!!

“There is too much drama in the drama department.” Well...yeah.

“Why couldn't they just do ‘Godspell’ like good little skanks ? Instead it's this... awful, unbelievable horror story. Hmm! Like that stuff really happens! Huh, theater is about life, you know? Truth! Truth! Where is the truth in ‘Supernatural’?”

What the fuck kind of teacher is this??

I had a theater teacher who told us theatre was magic. I think she would’ve liked Marie’s play about Supernatural.

There she goes.

“I mean, it's close, but it's just.... It needs a little more grrrr!”

Our very special title card.

“Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot

Our beautiful Baby.

Dean awake before Sam? A shocker.

“A teacher in an all girls school went missing in Flint, Michigan. She was heading to her car, disappeared, and nobody's seen her since.”

“Dean, there's nothing here that even remotely suggest there is a case.”

“There is nothing that even remotely suggest there isn't a case. Boom!”

Logic!

Hell yes!

Thank you, thank you, thank you Robbie Thompson.

“Ugh, theater kids. Great.”

“What? I was a theater kid.”

“Barely. You did ‘Our Town’, which was cool. But then, you did that crappy musical.”

“The - ‘Oklahoma’? Hugh Jackman got cast off of ‘Oklahoma’.”

“You ran tech, Wolverine.”

Hey, Techies are just as important as the actors.

They missed the huge banner advertising the show??

hahahaha, their faces are hilarious. Granted, if I found out someone made a musical about my life, I’d be speechless too.

“If there is case... It probably has something to do with all of this.” It has everything to do with it.

Marie, writer/director, and Maeve, the stage manager. (Fun fact: I was a stage manager once! Lots of fun, work, and telling people to shut up and pay attention.)

“I'm Special Agent Smith. This is my partner, Special Agent -”

“Smith.”

“Smith. No relation.”

Again with the joke.

There’s plenty of singing in Supernatural, mostly from you, Dean.

“If there was singing, it would be classic rock. Not this Andrew Floyd Webber crap -”

“Andrew Lloyd Webber.”

Love the improv correction.

Don’t shoot down “Carry on Wayward Son”, Sam.

I also had a theater teacher who went through a divorce.

“Maeve, right? You're the stage manager?”

“And I understudy Jody Mills.”

Maeve would make a great Jody!

“I'm gonna throw up.” Shush, Dean.

“I mean, I gotta say, it's kind of charming. The production value, and the...” I love Sam’s sincere interest tho.

Rule #1: You never touch the props.

“Why are they standing so close together?”

“Um...Reasons.”

“You know they're brothers, right?”

“Well, duh! But... Subtext.”

We gotta address that.

“You know, back when I did tech in school, we had two CD decks-”

“I'm sorry, I have to go sign the delivery.”

Aww Sam! I would love to hear his theater stories.

Pfft, Sam.

“There's no space in Supernatural.” We got close to it...

“Chuck stopped writing after ‘Swan Song’. I just- I couldn't leave it the way that it was! I mean, Dean not hunting anymore, living with Lisa?! Sam, somehow back from Hell, but not with Dean?! So, I wrote my own ending.” I don’t blame her.

“Dean becomes a woman.” Would still wanna see that happen in an episode.

“So, Sam came back from Hell. But without a soul. Then, Cas brought in a bunch of Leviathans from Purgatory. They lost Bobby. And then, Cas and Dean got stuck in Purgatory, Sam hit a dog. They met a prophet named Kevin, they lost him too. Then Sam endured a series of trials, in an attempt to close the gates of Hell. Which nearly cost him his life. Then Dean? Dean became a demon. Knight of Hell, actually.”

S6-9 summary, courtesy of Dean.

Here comes the second hand embarrassment.

“That is some of the worst fan fiction that I've ever heard ! I mean, seriously, I don't know where your friend found this garbage!” Oof, I still don’t like that.

“Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in real life. Although, we do explore the nature of Destiel in act two.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Oh, it's just subtext ! But, then again, you know, you can't spell subtext without.... s-e-x.”

!!!!!

Hi, Jensen.

“I don’t understand.”

“Me either.”

“I mean, shouldn't it be... Deastiel?”

LMAO SAM.

“You know... How about Sastiel? Samstiel?”

“Ok, alright. You know what? You're gonna do that thing, where you just shut the hell up. Forever.”

Teasing brother, Sam.

“This whole musical thing, everything, it's... It's all a coincidence? There is no case?” When is it ever just a coincidence?

“Get in the car!”

!!!!!!!

BUT HE NEVER DENIED IT THOO, that’s all i’m saying.

“You know, we should've done ‘The Outsiders’, like I told you.”

Maggie’s the second person to get kidnapped.

“I called the cops, and a bunch of adults just told me I have an overactive imagination.” :(

“It is all real. And so are we. I'm Sam Winchester. That's Dean.” NO NO NO.

“You guys are way too old to be Sam or Dean.”

“Oh, yeah!”

“More of a Bobby/Rufus combo? Maybe.”

How old do they think Sam and Dean should be???

“We are what the books called hunters.” They believe that.

First guess: a tulpa.

“How do you kill an idea?”

“Well, in ‘Hell House’, Sam and Dean burnt the house down, to take out the one tulpa they hunted.”

Correct!

“Gird your loins. It's horrifying.” Umm...okay.

I love how reluctant Marie was to burn her prop.

“What?”

“It’s not a tulpa.”

“Say it one more time, but just a little bit more Arnold--”

LMAO, Dean.

Calliope.

“According to the lore, Calliope manifests creatures from the story she's tuned into.”

The show must go on.

An understandable panic attack over the possibility of getting eaten.

“Is Marie gonna get eaten?” Shush.

I love when Dean calls people “champ”. It’s so sweet and endearing.

“If Sam and Dean were real, they wouldn't back down from a fight. Especially my sweet, brave, selfless Sam. There's nothing he can't do.” !!!

“I used this for my one-woman ‘Orphan Black’ show, last year.” Marie is the theater kid I would’ve lowkey wanted to be.

“Writer. Director. Actor. I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch.” FUCK YES! KICK IT IN THE ASS!

Dean fixing Stage!Cas’ tie!!

Funny Sam asked for Chuck...

“Oh! I-I, I love him. I do! But honestly, the whole author introducing himself into the narrative thing, it's just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories.” I politely disagree.

“Alright, listen up, girls. Now, you're all here, because you love ‘Supernatural’.”

“Actually, I was hoping we'd do ‘Wicked’.”

“I want you to get out there, and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text, as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today.”

“Did he just quote ‘Rent’?”

“Not enough to get us into trouble.”

“Ghooooost-facerssss!” This episode just adds wonderful years to my lifespan.

You know what I would pay to watch this play in full???

“The Road So Far”

There it is.

The misunderstood thumbs up, lmao.

Sam goes bye bye.

Maggie and the teacher.

They were in the school’s basement.

Hello, Calliope.

“I’ll Just Wait Here Then”

Nothing makes me more emotional than seeing the audience fall in love Stage!Cas, much like we did with our real Cas.

“If I have to sit through that second act, one more time... There's robots, and tentacles, and space. I can't even.” lol

“A Single Man Tear”

That exorcism special effect is so wonderful! I can see how they do it now, but from the audience’s POV, it’s absolutely magical.

What the hell did the audience think Dean was doing??

“We're through the looking glass, here, people. Strike the wendigo set, let's prep the priests costumes. And Sarah? Get understudies into hair and makeup.” Maeve’s a A+ stage manager.

“Supernatural has everything. Life. Death. Resurrection. Redemption. But above all, family. All sorts of music you can really tap your toe to. It isn't some meandering piece of genre dreck. It's... epic!” Agreed.

Stage!Dean is a pro if she could keep singing with everything going on in the background.

lmao at the one guy putting on his poncho.

Original Stage!Sam knocks out Calliope.

Understudy!Sam kills the Scarecrow.

Sam kills Calliope. A trifecta of Sam Awesomeness.

RIP Calliope. Killed by Sam.

The audience must be wondering how they managed to do that for years.

“Take a bow, Sammy.” Take a bow too, Dean.

“Thanks for saving my friends.”

“Sure.”

“You know? If you'd cut your hair a little, you'd make a pretty good Dean.”

Aww.

“Dean? You never should've thrown this away.” YYYEEESSS

“It never really worked. And, I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother, so...”

“Just take it. Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

I love Dean’s panic when he realizes he just called a teenage girl a “bitch” without meaning to, lmaoo.

Take it away Stage!Winchesters!

Let me tell you, I literally bursted into tears when they started singing “Carry On Wayward Son”. It’s beautifully done.

Starting with Stage!Mary, who is more or less Square 1 of the entire story.

i remember a lot of people being upset about Cas not being part of the family lineup at the end, and I get it. But if Marie was only going off of the first 5 seasons, it makes sense that she didn’t see Cas as family yet because Sam and Dean didn’t see Cas as family yet. They’re just one year shy of that.

BUT the same girl who plays Cas is on stage as Adam, a technical Winchester. You could say Cas took over Adam’s role as the third Winchester “brother” because canonically speaking, that’s the highest title Sam and Dean have given Cas.

“Who's that?”

“Oh, that's Adam. John Winchester's other kid. He's still trapped in the cage, in Hell. With Lucifer.”

lmaooo. Awkward.

“Don’t you cry no more.” I sing, while crying.

I wish he had kept the Samulet Part 2 on there.

A picture perfect ending.

...One last surprise.

“Oh my gosh! But wait... That means that- Calliope came for me or for-?” Did Marie know who he was?

I thought it was Cas...

I legit lost my goddamn mind when I saw him.

A perfect episode of Supernatural, in my most humble opinion.

#supernatural #spn summer rewatch #spn liveblog #spn 10x05 #fan fiction #our 200th episode :')

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themanicgalaxy · 4 years ago

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SPN 2X1 In My Time Of Dying

Oh my god I had to write 2x, we in season 2 babie(god first episode of this weekend I am so tired I did swimming and iso)

The song and recap however? shot very well, i like

if I hear FaMilY bUsinEss one more time I’mma lose it

oh right they got hit with the truck

and they’re all bleeding

is...is that bad moon rising? credence clearwater revival?

SAM’S AWAKE?

oh my god evil demon cloud

Dean and John are unresponsive oh my god

also aw the smash cut is when Sam yells for Dean

oooo hospital dream sequence, I do love me a good hospital dream sequence

I wrote enough of them in my head to count i think

can...can no one see him? is he a ghost?

ooo Out of body experience

heh first time I noticed the little pentacle over the A in Supernatural

ah so John’s awake? but Dean isn’t

IS THIS WHERE JOHN DIES PLEASE SAY YES

Sam: ah Dean might not wake up

Dean in the dreamscape: SAM FORFUck’S SAKE

“your son is dying and you’re worried about the colt” TERRIBLE FUCKING FATHER

John just wakes up and move on fucking christ I dislike him

Dean glaring at his father and saying “well you sure know something”? with dramatic music? :)

Ah YES good shot this made me very happy

ah yes the incredibly normal emotional attachment to a car

that whole speech of “I gave you everything and now you’re gonna sit here and watch me die” and “what kind of a father are you” hurts oh my god it hurts

is this where he realizes John’s a bad father

WEIRD SPECTER THING??

Oh right Dean’s the peacemaker and he’s currently out of commission oh my fucking god

and now they’re just screaming at each other

HE DID THE THING!

oh my god and he’s dying again

DEAN GOES FOR THE SPECTER THING!

SAM HEARS HIM!

look I know damn well Jensen Ackles is like six feet tall but THEY SHOOT IT LIKE HE’S SO SHORT WHY DO THEY DO THIS

EY ANOTHER OUT OF BODY PERSON

i ThiNk thEre wEre SOmE ComplCationS Dean you snarky lil shit

FINALLY John gives up on the quest for revenge until Dean’s ok

was he lying? I feel like he’s lying

Dean: fate is bullshit

ah yes this totally isn’t foreshadowing

ah and the spirit thing kills the little girl

Sam buys a fucking ouija board bahahaha

aw it workedddd

Ah so it’s a natural death?

wait but that’s not what reapers looked like before

John you fucking liar

“thanks for not giving up on me sammy” DFHAIPSHFASPO

OH IT WAS TESSA

Yeah she took it way too well

John’s doing weird occult magic fine I don’t care about him

Ok but demon man in this guy’s body with the sass? that’s fun, I like villains like that

“You can’t go now...we were just starting to be brothers again” :(

“there’s no such thing as an honorable death” is kinda a cool line

I know it’s not supposed to be funny but the you’Ve bEcome Th e VerY thinG You Swore to Destroy is just...i can’t stop laughing

“if only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them” THEY DIDn’T THATS THE PROBLEM

how long have you fucking known John. HOW LONG JOHN

The reaper? is scareD? OH THAT’S HORRIFYING

DID THE REAPER DIE??

AND THE “today’s your lucky day, kid,” AND THEN THE SMASHCUT TO WAKE UP

“you gotta have some kind of angel” FAHIDPASFPASI BAHAHAHA

ah yes in true form, he doesn’t remember shit

john please tell your children information

COMMUNICATION! GOD THIS FAMILY IS SO BAD AT COMMUNICATION

Dean really was the rock for this fuckign family oh my god

At least...john realizes he was bad at being a dad?

especially to dean at least

AW HE SAYS HE’S PROUD

and Dean has to fucking check oshfa;f

I mean it’s very late, you’ve given this kid complexes galore, but at least you said it once

ey and Sam with the episodely coffee

ah and here is where John dies ok

aight wrap-up:

1. just gotta get it out of the way that the fact that most of the dead people are women. I mean we been knew but I have to mention that the Random Victims were all women, and then also John

2. The lore with reapers and demons, and how the demon possessed Tessa, and how she altered perception was actually very cool and very engaging, and that out of body experience was really interesting. The lore was top-notch

the “you’ll become the very thing you swore to destroy” is still funny tho

I know it wasn’t meant to be but it was

3. and uh...the relationships. This is the only episode John has been in where he has even ~vaguely been sympathetic, and while he annoys the hell out of me in season 1, I will give the fact that he self-reflected a little bit and chose to save the son that had given everything for him was nice. He gave no other information and for that that annoys me, but that speech at the end? that must have been good to hear

I mean, it’s too little too late and the fact that Dean had to check it was his dad kinda speaks volumes. I mean this always begs the question of “does the apology make up for everything?” In the specific case of “I had to actually be smacked in the face to help you,” then yes. In the sheer amount of complexes Dean got out of it? no? One sad speech of “I fucked up” does not repair anything, altho again, it had to have felt good.

I don’t know, I still don’t have an answer to this question when I think about it in terms of myself, nothing makes sense, He was just more sympathetic this time around.

didn’t feel shit when he died tho, altho that could be cuz I saw it coming/was spoiled

4. Dean’s whole “fuck fate” mentality, the fact that we won’t ever know what his answer was to “are you ready to die,” the fact that he doesn’t really remember it, the way he was trying to play peacemaker even in depth, even the little digs at his dad, were all incredibly fun to see

honestly, I think the fact that Sam is the protagonist works against him, cuz he has to follow Protagonist Rules so he doesn’t get as many interesting things to do. There’s no ambiguity there, as of not right now, which sucks, cuz Sam could be rly cool

ah and there’s the hatred for western protagonists I seem to keep getting I don’t even know why

I don’t know. thoughts are jumbled mess, but it was a cool episode. And season 2 onwards!

#pawswatchesspn #2x1 In My Time Of Dying #Cool lore #but I'm very conflicted #and very tired #I'm sure I'll go back to being a John Hater on main once we get more backstory #and now it's just John-neutral so it's not like I'm ever gonna be pro john #he's very much not a good father

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huntertales · 7 years ago

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And Then Comes Baby In a Baby Carriage. | S12 Rewrite AU

Pairings: Dean x Reader (Series Rewrite Setting) Word Count: 12,041. Summary: You learn you're pregnant with Dean Winchester's baby. While the news is exciting, the months leading to your due date are anything but smooth for an expecting hunter. (Full description below.) Warnings: Spoilers for season twelve! (Takes place during the timeline of "There's Something about Mary" and "Who We Are.") Mentions of child birth, threats against the reader, canon violence and death.

Part One | Part Two | Drabble | SPN Rewrite Masterlist

Nobody asked for this...but I decided to write a second part to a little story that I wrote about over a month ago. (I wanted this up at Father's Day and I should be working on my current episode rewrite and not this. But oops.) This also kind of goes as a season twelve finale rewrite. I had a bit of inspiration from this particular scene for the plot. I had an extreme amount of fun writing this, but it does contain a lot of spoilers, I'm afraid. And if pregnant type of stories aren't your cup of tea, oh well. I hope you guys enjoy this! (I really did...and it comes with a very happy ending. ^_^)

Supernatural Season Twelve AU: What if the boys managed to kill Dagon with the colt at the playground? What if, as the result, Kelly gives birth to a healthy baby boy and lives to raise the child? Everything goes back to normal, well, the best that it can. Problems still linger with the British Men of Letters after one of their own suffers a fatal end, resulting in dire consequences for revenge. They want every American hunter eliminated. All of them...except for you.

Two months ago you heard the best news of your life; you were expecting, not one, but two little bundles of joy. You were still trying to wrap your head around the idea that you were being given the chance to bring another life into this world. You thought your life would be cut short by the age of thirty due to some hunt that went wrong. But here you were, sitting in a quiet little diner with Dean, staring at the ultrasound pictures of the fetuses that were growing in your stomach. It was the fourth month mark in your pregnancy, and the third doctor’s appointment you and Dean had just wrapped up not too long ago. You waited for Sam to come and meet you, as you had some exciting news to tell him. The doctor said at this point of your pregnancy the fetus has developed a lot of the important features and likes to stretch their tiny limbs and make some very strange faces. And, of course, you could find out the gender of the babies.

After wrapping up the doctor's appointment and finding out for yourself the exciting news, you decided to have a little fun for the announcement. You dragged Dean to the nearest toy store to find something that you could use to do a cute little gender reveal for Sam for this exciting moment. You roamed around for a while until you got the perfect shades that matched with the identity of the babies. And after forcing Dean to get them all nicely gift wrapped, you waited for the man to make his way to the diner. He texted you a few minutes ago saying he was almost here, but you were growing antsy for his arrival, wanting to tell him the good news. You distracted yourself for a few more minutes by looking at the pictures when Dean pointed at the funny face baby number two was making. Soon, you found yourself being so caught up in the idea of what the twins were doing, you didn’t realize some of your party arrived without saying a word.

You glanced up for a moment, feeling like someone's eyes were on you, making you think it was the waitress who had come back to see if you made up your mind yet. Instead you saw a pair of blue eyes staring back at you from across the booth. Somehow, he always managed to sneak up on you without you realizing it, causing you to let out a gasp of surprise and the ultrasound to slip out of your hands and drift to the table.

“Cas!” You hissed the angel’s name out as you let out a breath. You rested a hand against your chest, feeling your heartbeat slowly drift off to a normal pace when you realized the stranger was just him. After so many years, you thought you would be able to get used to his ability to sneak up on anyone. But you always managed to jump out of your skin every time. “Don’t do that, man.”

"I thought we agreed you'd give us a heads up on when you were gonna start popping your feathery ass up." Dean said. He reached out a hand to grab the picture from the table as Cas mentioned something about how his phone died. The angel was quicker than the Winchester, he snatched the ultrasound pictures and took a moment to examine them. His eyes squinted slightly as his head turned to try and make out what your babies looked like. Cas made a remark about how uncomfortable Baby Number One was feeling right now. You rolled your eyes and leaned over the table, grabbing the picture from him. "Where's Sam? Thought he was with you."

“He was. But he was interested in purchasing a few more things at the bookstore.” Cas explained to you. You nodded your head, understanding how much of a nerd Sam could be. The angel looked down at the shopping bag that you had resting on the floor and next to your feet. He took notice there were two small boxes in there, wrapped with a shimmery looking paper and a pale yellow bow to add a bit of decoration. “What’s that?”

“It's a secret.” You told him. You looked ahead to see that Sam had finally arrived at the diner with a paper bag full of books about lore, you probably guessed. You waved a hand in the air to catch his attention, a smile spread across your lips in anticipation as Sam headed over and took a seat next to Cas. “Well, it’s about time. Dean and I have some exciting news for you both.”

“You're having triplets?” Sam joked. His brother looked a bit horrified at the thought of having yet another one added to the mix, the thought of twins was a bit nerve wracking in itself. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “So, how’d the doctor’s go? Everything look okay?”

“Everything is absolutely perfect. They're healthy and growing right on track. I’m doing well, too. Twins are usually a risky pregnancy, not to mention, I'm not exactly in my twenties anymore. But the doctor said everything should be all right if we keep up with the appointments. Also...I found something that might help us start decorating the nursery." You said. You managed to bend down and grab the bag from the floor. Handing out the wrapped presents, you gave one each to the men sitting across from you. “Uncle Sam and Uncle Cas, you get to find out if we’re having a girl or a boy.”

“Oh, that's easy. It's—”

“Cas, don't.” Dean warned the angel, stopping him from blabbering it out like it was common knowledge and have you become angry at the hard work you put into these gifts. “I didn't spend the last hour and a half with Y/N strolling around some girly shop to hear you say it. Just open the damn box and find out yourselves.”

Dean pretended to be annoyed at Cas from his attempt at being helpful. But to be honest, he wanted to see his little brother’s reaction to the news. With each appointment and month that passed on the calendar, he was growing more excited at the thought of having children to raise. It wasn’t that long ago each of them were kicking back and talking about leaving a legacy behind for them to do whatever they want. And here it was, actually happening. He leaned back in his seat and draped his arm over the cushioned seat, letting it rest on your shoulder, leading you to scooch yourself closer and rest against him.

The both of you watched as Sam started to open the present, Cas followed behind a moment later. It took a second before the table was covered with ripped wrapping paper and bows. Sam inhaled a quiet breath and took off the top of the box. Peering inside, a smile stretched across his lips as he picked up a small bear, the fur in a pale pink.

“Oh, dude. You're in for…” Sam examined the bear for a moment and looked over at Cas, thinking that you were carrying twin girls. He noticed the angel was holding a stuffed bear that appeared to be almost identical to his, all though, there was a slight difference in the fur. As the angel’s was in the shade of blue. Sam furrowed his brow and looked at the both of you from across the table. It was your turn to smile. “Wait, are you saying—”

“They're having fraternal twins. One boy, one girl.” Cas explained to the younger Winchester, who had known since just last week. But he kept the information to himself, despite offering it as your doctor’s appointment came up. You shook your head and mumbled a thank you to Cas for the very supportive help. The angel didn't realize you were being sarcastic with him. “You're welcome, Y/N.”

Sam let out a small chuckle from the angel’s awkward behavior that he would never grow tired of hearing be exchanged between you and Cas. He held the bear tighter and looked at looked at it for a moment, a smile began creeping at the ends of his lips again, it was the kind where all of this seemed to be too surreal. He'd always wanted a bit of a normal life, back when he swore off hunting for good, chose all nighters for tests instead of research and the stress of almost dying for a job as a lawyer. But here he sat, almost twelve years later, everything that he'd never thought would happen was coming true. His mother was alive, the bunker turned into a safe haven that almost felt like it was built for all three of you, and he was becoming an uncle. Perhaps life wasn’t so bad anymore. Him and his brother had a true reason to keep on fighting.

+ + +

To say your pregnancy was uneventful would have been a lie. You managed to find the colt again, kill a prince of Hell, save Kelly Kline and her unborn child. All while in the process you’d had one fatality: a British Men of Letter. While the events didn't lead in that order, you were forced to being benched out for most of the action, leaving your only sight the walls of the bunker when the boys were out. There wasn't a chance you were going to put yourself in danger, but you were going a bit stir crazy. But you were finding things seeming to start growing more hectic with each month that you crossed off on the calendar.

Kelly Kline was on top of your priority list to make sure she had a happy ending, you didn't want to see her unborn child get hurt in the process, despite it being the literal spawn of Satan. While she jumped around from town to town, you managed to find her exact location, and a way to save her. You were put under lockdown for safety and thrown back into your old job of research, something you did before hunting with the Winchesters. It took a trip down memory lane before you realized how to save Kelly.

Her child was a nephilim; half human, half angel. You hadn’t dealt with something like this before, but you would be damned to let the only outcome end in murder. It took a bit of time to figure out an exact plan, but you did it. How did an angel get their wings? From their grace, of course. If you had managed to find her in time and take away the baby’s grace, it might become a human again. While you had found the solution, the outcome was anything but easy. Dagon, a pesky demon that had been keeping Kelly on the run, had posed as a challenge. The boys, Eileen, a hunting buddy you had become friends with just a few years ago, and Mick along with another British Men of Letter hunter had come face to face with Dagon. But it didn’t end with a victory.

It was an accident when Eileen tried saving the day by grabbing the colt and shooting Dagon. Instead, she shot Mick’s partner, almost resulting in her own death after the brainwashing he’d been through from the Men of Letters and their precious code. Thankfully the boys managed to calm Mick down. But that didn't make you let it slide, with your raging hormones, you ripped him a new one when you saw him later that night.

Dagon was killed just a few weeks ago after that incident. Sam had been the one who put a bullet between the demon’s eyes and saved the day. It was just a few days ago that Kelly gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Jack. You had gotten a few photos from Cas after he decided to stay with Kelly and make sure she was doing all right. While you had put the end of the world to bed, you had more trouble brewing with the British Men of Letters.

Through the process of saving the world once again, you were growing more and more, to the point where you were uncomfortable in your own skin. You couldn't do a task that seemed normal before like putting on your damn shoes before needing some extra help. None of your maternity clothes fit properly anymore, your back hurt all the time, and you ate just about anything that wasn't nailed down. Your last appointment with the doctor was just a few days ago, and he reassured you that everything was going as normal. You should be soon to deliver in the next two weeks or so. Much sooner than you were expecting to hear.

As you gotten into your third and final trimester, you had buckled down on getting the bunker baby ready. The nursery for the babies were almost done; you painted, gotten the best crib money could buy, bought all sorts of clothes the twins would grow through in a few short months and had an army supply of diapers on hand. While you were materialistically ready and had all the books on hand, you were starting to grow nervous with the familiar worries that clogged your head when you couldn't sleep at night and the babies punched and kicked for room. What if you weren’t a good mother? How the hell were you going to raise them in an underground bunker? Were you going to raise them to know about the supernatural?

Lucky for you, Dean had been nothing been short of supportive. He helped you with the back pain and listened to your every woe and anger when your hormones gotten out of control. He was a bit nervous himself at the idea of fatherhood, but he reassured you everything was going to be okay. But someone that you had been a bit hopeful in being part of your pregnancy wasn’t around for most of it.

Mary had been growing distant with you ever since she had started working with the British Men of Letters, and when she found out you were pregnant. Everything for her had been a hard pill to swallow since she had been brought back from the dead, learning that her oldest son was about to have twins, making her grandmother—now that was something which took some time for her to process. She tried her hardest over the months to pretend that nothing was wrong. When Mary was around, she was helpful, and actually seemed joyful at the idea of having a little one at her disposal whenever she wanted. You were a bit hopeful that she would come back around, you wanted someone like her around. As she had been a mother of a six month old when she passed. And you wanted to get closer to the mother of your husband and best friend.

While you and the boys had tried giving her the space she wanted, you were more urgent than ever to find out where she was when things started growing eerily suspicious. It started off when you heard about the mysterious death of Eileen a few weeks after Kelly had given birth. She went back home to Ireland after she killed that snarky Brit. You had known it was just an accident, but she was afraid of the consequences that might have followed her. While you had talked to her just a week and a half ago, you had gotten a call from Jody Mills that Eileen's body was found in the middle of the woods in South Carolina a few nights ago. From the crime scene pictures Jody had sent over unwillingly after the boys had gone down to see it for themselves, it was easy to suspect that Eileen was killed by a hellhound.

But the pattern didn't start with Eileen, she was just one of the several hunters that seemed to have been dropping like flies. You and Sam called around, talking to other hunters to see what was going on, wondering why people with decades of experience were meeting bloody ends. You couldn't come up with much, but after a trip to the post office, you had gotten a letter from Eileen four days before she was killed, asking if she could bunk with you and the boys after arriving back in the states. She had expressed about how she was scared for her life. She told you that she suspected her phone and computer were being tapped into, the only suspect that she could think of was the British Men of Letters. And the dots connected themselves.

If they wanted her dead, who’s to say they didn’t want to do the same to the brothers? After all, they had been the reason why she managed to escape. And why Mick didn’t put a bullet in her like how they wanted. You helped the best you could to sweep the place, but from how big your stomach was getting, you quit halfway through and left yourself to relax in the war room. You leaned back in the seat as you watched the boys tear this place part from top to bottom. They searched in every single little crack and overturned whatever object that might appear small enough to sneak a device into. Sam was busy playing around with the radio Dean circled around the table, his hands checking underneath to see if he might find anything besides the loaded gun that was kept for emergencies. All these months the Brits had wanted you on their team, but it seemed they revoked your invitation when you screwed up.

Dean decided to crouch down on the ground and look underneath to see if he could finding something. And he did from how his face changed ever so quickly into caution when the tips of his fingers ever so lightly brushed against something foreign. You didn't need to see for yourself that he'd found exactly what you had feared. Dean waved a hand at his brother, catching the man’s attention as he pointed a finger at the microphone hidden underneath the table. Sam headed over and took a look for himself. This wasn’t good. Not at all. You subconsciously rested your hands on your stomach as the boys exchanged a look.

"Those hunters you were talking to, was one of them Terry Marsh?" Dean asked his little brother out of the blue. You furrowed your brow at the man and mouthed what he was doing, he shook his head at you, knowing it'd be better to keep your lips sealed on this one as he gestured for Sam to play along. If they wanted to play games, so could the boys.

"Yeah, Terry Marsh from Missouri.” Sam continued on with the little charade, keeping his anger hidden for a few moments longer, letting the people listening in on your conversation into believing that you were going on with your life like normal. “I talked to him. He, uh, he's also thinking it's not monsters doing the real killing.”

"Okay. I got a text from him. He's been nosing around, says he got a fair idea of what's going on." Dean said. His brother wondered what it might have been. "He doesn't feel safe talking on the phone, he wants to meet. The old ironworks on the interstate. Tomorrow night at nine. He says park off the road by the warehouse. I think I’ve got the address written down somewhere.”

Dean gestured a hand at you to grab some paper and a pen. You looked around until you spotted the supplies just across the table. Sliding it over to him, you watched as Dean wasted no time in writing down something before tapping the pen against his message. You leaned over in your seat to read what he had scribbled. “Y/N needs to get out of town. Somewhere safe.”

It was pretty easy to assume there was an unfair war brewing between the Americans and British hunters from what was going on here. If they were picking off the American hunters, you couldn’t just sit here in the bunker, waiting for them to reveal their full plan. Dean was right you needed to get out of here before things went south. You had two little lives to think about, also. It was going to be tricky to figure out where the boys could send you off for a while until they could figure this situation out. One in particular had popped up into your head. You'd talked to her not that long ago, and things for her seemed completely fine. Full Time sheriff, part time hunter, mother of two wayward girls—and she was only six hours away.

You reached out and written a name on the paper that came to mind. “Jody?”

+ + +

The very next day, you and the boys wasted no time in getting the plan into action. You knew it wasn't safe to be around the bunker. It was proven over the past few months that the British Men of Letters could just come and go however they pleased. Dean wanted to drive you down to South Dakota himself to make sure you got there safely. But he wouldn’t make it back in time for the deadline by tonight. And while you thought you would make it on your own, the three of you made a compromise. The boys would trail behind for the first half of the ride to make sure that you weren't being followed before all of you would depart ways.

Jody Mills might be a bit surprised to see you from the last time you met, as you weren't eight and a half months pregnant and asking to crash for a few days, but with the things all of you had been through together, you were sure she wouldn't mind. After all, she was always asking when you and the boys were going to come back down for a visit. You had been wanting to see Claire and Annie again, too. If a cop, a hunter and a vampire couldn’t keep you safe, nothing could. And it wasn’t like you couldn’t pick up a gun and shoot someone if you needed to.

Three and half hours, you were already halfway though Nebraska with no complications. The boys had turned around after you had wrapped up a phone conversation with Sam to let them know, yet again, you were completely fine. One of the blessings of having a car that wasn't made twenty years before you were born was that you had all the bells and whistles of new technology to make a phone call without even lifting a hand from the steering wheel. You made it to the four hour mark and just a little closer to the border when you looked to see how you were doing with gas. You should have been fine for a little while longer. You noticed that you were starting to get dangerous low. Letting out a quiet sigh, you were a bit annoyed at the inconvenience that was going to set you back a few minutes, but it was better than being stranded in the middle of nowhere when you neglected to fill up.

You were driving through a small town when you pulled into a gas station that was in the direction of your way. You pulled up to one of the pumps and shut off the car, reaching for your bag, you found yourself struggling just a bit with your stomach constantly making you feel out of breath. You persisted on as you got out and paid for a full tank. While waiting, you tried, yet again, to see if you could get ahold of Cas by phoning him after you texted the boys saying you were making a small pit stop. But the angel’s phone rang...and rang, until you gotten the same voicemail. You let out a frustrated sigh and left him another message, telling him to call you back. It was urgent. Rolling your eyes at how out of touch the angel could be with the world, you shoved your phone back into the bag for safekeeping.

You pulled out your wallet after getting your credit card back from the slot. All though it was a fake card that you had stolen off someone, like you’d been doing for well over a decade, this one of the only forms of money you had, minus the hundred dollars in bills you carried for emergencies. You were about to slip it back into the slot when you accidentally lost your grip on the plastic, letting it slip to the ground. You clenched your fists at what you had done. It was almost impossible for you to bend down and grab anything, you could barely put on shoes without having one of the boys help you. Looking around the gas station parking lot, you realized that you were alone, and running out of options here. You contemplated on heading into the gas station to ask the person behind the counter to help you. But it seemed that you had bystander in the mood to do their act of kindness.

“Need some help, love?”

Peering slightly over your shoulder, you looked down at the pavement to see your credit card was gone, but replaced with a pair of spotless oxfords that were too expensive looking to be from this side of town. The accent alone should have been a signal that something was wrong, but ever so slowly, you dragged your gaze up to see the person standing in front of you. The sight of his face alone made your blood run cold as your eyes widened slightly from the sunglasses that you hadn’t taken off since the car ride began. It was enough to conceal your surprise as you quickly reached for the gun that you had in your bag to try and use the only form of protection you had against any sort of threat. But your fingers barely grazed the top of the bag before you felt his hand roughly yank your arm so he could see it.

You froze directly in your spot when you felt the barrel of Ketch’s gun press against your stomach. The look on his face seemed to have been nothing short of pleasure, he gotten you exactly where he wanted you to. Letting his grip from your arm loose, he tested his luck by reaching out and pushed your sunglasses to the top of your head, wanting to look at you directly in the eye. Maybe he thought you were going to cower in fear. You stared at him directly in the eye. While you had contemplated on screaming, as it was your last card to play, you happened to glance down at his shirt to notice something. There was a small stain on the cuff of his shirt, and with a closer inspection, you noticed the dark color was blood. And you had a feeling it wasn’t his. Looking up to face him again, Ketch’s grinning face of satisfaction was the last thing you saw before you felt a sharp pain in the side of your head, causing your vision to go black.

+ + +

You narrowed your eyes slightly on the clock from across the bunker, wondering what time it was, and how long ago your ass had fell asleep after sitting here since getting back. Everything was a bit blurry. Perhaps it would was a small concussion Ketch gave you after bashing your skull in, or maybe they gave you something to keep you compliant. You concentrated hard enough as your vision started to focus again, managing to read the time that it was just a little after midnight. You knew the boys should have been back home around this time after their own adventure. You could hear the lock from the top of the staircase beginning to turn, and a second later, the door opened up with a few pairs of boots descending down the staircase and Dean’s voice echoing through the bunker.

You moved your eyes away from the wall to stare at the man that was next to you from the corner of your. If you could be quick enough, you might have been able to grab his gun and shoot him in the head. Just because you were eight months pregnant and had your hands tied in front of you didn't mean you were weak. But your thoughts of an escape died when you felt the barrel of Ketch's gun press against the temple of your head, a subtle warning to keep quiet. Even though they wanted you very much alive, for reasons you didn’t understand quite yet, you had a feeling he wouldn’t be too upset if he just shot you to make some kind of point. The longer you had gotten to know him, you had a feeling there was something absent in Ketch’s conscious.

"Just so we’re clear. You call Ketch and tell him if he wants to see you alive, he gets his prissy ass over here.”

“Interestingly, his prissy arse is already here.”

Ketch stepped out from behind the library wall with his other partner, surprising the boys with his appearance that they had partly expecting to see. Sam didn’t back down when he drew out his own gun and pointed it directly at the man. But the Brits were just a few steps ahead of them. Not only did they have a few more men that appeared from each entrance of the bunker, surrounding the Winchesters and their special guest, Toni Bevell. But he had a bit of leverage himself. Ketch took a step over to the side, keeping his gun pointed at the brothers as he outstretched his left arm to the other side of the wall to retrieve something. You could feel yourself being dragged to your feet and into the open. Before anything else could happen, Ketch pressed the barrel of his gun against the side of your head, making sure to the power in his position.

“Ah, ah. Hands where I can see them, Dean. Wouldn’t want to cut our fun so short for a foolish move.” Ketch warned Dean as he got ready to pull out his gun and shoot the man directly in the head for the stunt he pulled. A smirk spread across his lips at how easy it seemed that he had gotten things. He directed his gaze to his fellow partner and asked her to do the simplist of a task to get this show on the road. “Lady Bevell, would you mind disarming them?”

Toni seemed all too pleased to do so from the smug little smirk that started to grow on her face. Sam slowly reached his hand away from the gun and tried to offer up his surrender. But you knew these brothers like the back of your hand, they weren’t going to give up so easily because they were surrounded. All it took was just one simple look in the eye before hell broke loose. Toni reached out to grab the gun from Sam, but he managed to overpower her, grabbing his free hand to tightly embrace her into his grip, shooting one of the guards directly in the forehead. Dean was smooth himself, not even having to lift the gun directly out from behind him to shoot another. You could feel a smirk starting to spread across your lips at what they done, but it only lasted for a second before you being thrown behind the wall as Ketch opened fire.

Gunshots broke out as everyone ducked for cover You were back where you started as Ketch peered over the wall, trying his hardest to get a clear shot at one of the Winchesters when Sam took Toni as a hostage. Everything went silent for a second when everyone regrouped, trying to figure out how to handle this. Ketch waved his gun at one of his men to go on, as an attempt for a sneak attack neither of the boys would expect, but they knew this place better than them. Dean wasn’t no second in following behind, disappearing from sight. You heard a few more shots go off, Ketch tried to take a hit at Sam, as the other retaliated, trying to keep him busy. While Ketch drew back his fire for a moment to figure out where he could hit Sam next, the younger Winchester knew that he didn't need to do much more work.

You could always count on Dean for being quiet. You didn't even see him approach yourself until you moved your head just slightly to see his figure come out from the corner of your eye. You watched as he didn't break from his concentration, and like a predator sneaking up on his prey, he went in for the kill. Dean took one step before before he was on his knees, smoothly gliding himself over and snatching the gun right out of Ketch's hands. Now it was Ketch's turn to see how it felt when his own gun was pressed against the back of his head.

“Get up.” Dean ordered, forcing the man up to his feet. You managed to get yourself to your feet after Dean forced Ketch to untie your hands before pushing him to the small steps that lead to the war room. You pressed a hand against your stomach, feeling the twins kick and punch, obviously, it seemed the both of them had been excited at what had gone down. “You all right, sweetheart?”

“Fine. I’m fine. They’re just overwhelmed with what’s gone down today.” You said, reassuring the man. You stepped out to the open to see that you might have Toni and Ketch exactly where you wanted them, but you lost count of how many other people you’ve seen come through. “How many more of your goons are in here?”

Ketch didn’t answer, so Dean tried another question. “Our mom—where is she?!”

All you gotten in return from the man was more silence. But it seemed you gotten your answer when you looked behind Sam to see it was Mary herself, a small smile stretched across your lips at the sight of her once more. She must have known something was going on when she came out from behind Sam with her gun drawn out and pointed it at, who you were presuming, was Ketch.

"Ah, speak of the Devil." Ketch thought it was smart to make a remark, not seeming to be afraid of the position that he had landed himself in.

“Perfect timing, Mom.” Sam said, keeping his back to the woman with his own gun still on Ketch.

“Just stay where you are.” Mary instructed with a calm tone.

Ketch didn't feel like playing fair tonight. He tried his hardest to bend down and grab the gun that was just mere inches from his feet. But Dean was quick to grab a hold of the man and press the gun harder against Ketch's head. "Hey!" Dean warned the man. “You heard her.”

Mary looked at her son with a calm, almost void expression from what she said next. "I was talkin' to you."

You furrowed your brow in concern when you looked her way to figure out what had gotten into her. Mary had been gone for weeks at a time, and you given her all the space that you needed to get her to adjust to the twenty-first century. But the woman standing across the way wasn't the same person you had remembered. You were about to ask her what was going on, but the only noise that came out of your mouth was a sharp gasp of surprise when she took another shot, a warning when it was aimed just a foot from where her own son was standing. Dean flinched, not expecting that to happen, but it was enough for Ketch to break free. He managed to snatch the gun out of Dean's hand and grab his own, all before you felt Ketch press the barrel of his gun against the temple of your head and his arm wrapped around your neck, pinning you in place.

“Hey!” Sam didn’t waste a second in pointing his gun at the man, his face hardening at what he was trying to do. “Ketch, stop.”

Of course, the man didn’t listen, he had all of you exactly where he wanted. You watched as Mary approached Sam to take the gun out of his hands. And just like that, the tables had been turned on the three of you all over again. You glanced over at Dean to see that he was growing more worried about the outcome of this situation than the anger he once felt before. His mother wasn't herself, the mother of his children was being held at gunpoint, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Mummy was always a talented hunter.” Toni said, stepping away from Sam when she was finally free from his grip. You turned your gaze over to her to give the bitch a deathly glare. She just stared at you with a smug smile, knowing she yet again her plan had been executed exactly as she had planned. “Just somewhat...confused about obeying orders.”

“What did you do to her?” Dean questioned the both of them.

“Lady Bevell cleared up that...confusion. And I suspect she told you that the American hunters are a dying breed. Well, for this generation, at least.” Ketch decided that it would be more comfortable by roughly taking ahold of your arm, but keeping the gun close to you as he continued on moving forward to the staircase. You didn’t have a good feeling about this. “You know, I’m not a personal fan of children. They’re messy, scream and whine for attention. And when I heard Mrs. Winchester was carrying two, I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. She could have made a great addition to the British Men of Letters.”

“You son of a bitch.” Dean nearly growled the insult from what he was hearing. You noticed that he was trying his hardest to remain calm about the situation and figure out a way to get all of you out of this without getting hurt. His eyes wandered to your prominent stomach, you could see the fear glaze over in his eyes at the thought of something happening to you, or worse, the twins. "I swear to God, if you hurt—"

“Oh, I’m not all that heartless, Mr. Winchester. Y/N is very much good alive to us than dead. She’s harboring something we want very much. Who would've thought there would have been another generation of Winchesters? These twins have hunting in their blood. And their parents are one of the best I’ve seen in the business. I believe they’re destined to become one of us. A hunter.” Ketch explained the true reasoning of why he had wanted to see you alive. They wanted your own children, for the sick idea of raising them to become like him. “We’ll see that Y/N is kept under only the best conditions until her due date. We want these buggers nice and healthy, now.”

"If you even lay even just one finger on her, or try anything..." Sam spoke very slowly, but there was no caution in his voice as he tightly clenched his fists. "I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you."

Ketch let out an amused chuckle from the threat that stayed just as words that were supposed to make him terrified. But he wasn't. You could feel the horror of the plan settle into your mind. tried your hardest to somehow fight your grip out from Ketch, but he proved to be stronger, forcing you to take the lead up the staircase. You looked over your shoulder to give the boys a look, perhaps it was an apology for not being careful enough, or maybe it was pure fear from what was going to happen. Sam tried his hardest to remain strong, but Dean, poor Dean was slowly falling to shambles with an expression that could appear cold and hard. But you could see his true feelings in his eyes. As Toni began walking to the staircase, presuming her job was done here, Ketch stopped her before she could take another step by pointing his gun at her.

“Oh. For heaven’s sake, where do you think you’re going?” Ketch asked his fellow partner. Toni looked at the man with a confused expression, wondering what he was doing. “Remember at Kendrick's, how they taught us that we were all expendable? That wasn’t idle chat.”

You winced in slight pain when Ketch ushered you again to keep walking by squeezing on your arm again. You knew there was no fighting this, as Ketch kept the gun pressed against you and Mary followed behind with her own finger on the trigger. You gave her a pleading look, somehow trying to figure out if the woman that you had to grown to know over the past year was still there. But there was just a voidness in her eyes, an emptiness of a soul.

“Mom.” Dean called out to the woman, hoping he could somehow get to her. Mary peered down at her own children from the top of the staircase with each gun pointed at them. Dean wondered what the hell they did to her. And why she was acting like this. “Look at me. It us. Please. What’s wrong with you? Y/N's carrying your own flesh and blood. Your grandchildren. Mom!"

“Your bunker is an excellent fortress.” Ketch said, taking a chance to look around at the interior of the place and admire the details. “An even better tomb.”

“What? No. No, you can’t do this.” You looked over at Mary, somehow hoping if you pleaded with her enough, make her realize what she was about to do was going to end with her own children dying and her grand kids becoming something she never even wanted for her own family. “Mary, please! Snap out of it!”

“She’s long gone, Y/N. Don’t waste your breath on trying to save her. Why not say goodbye to the boys. As it’s the last you’re ever going to see of them. While the three of you were gone we did a bit of an update around the place. We’ve rejiggered the locks, we’ve shut off the water, and once we leave, the pumps that bring in the air shall reverse. Your oxygen should be gone in...two days, maybe three.” Ketch said, giving the boys and Toni a bit of a rundown for what they were ahead for. Your jaw tightened in anger as you tried your hardest to fight off the tears that threatened to escape from what was going on. “You dying in here, it’s almost...poetic.”

“You're a sick bastard. You know that?” You hissed at him between clenched teeth. “I’m gonna kill you myself first. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I’ll presume that’s the hormones talking. I hear pregnant women always can get a bit fussy before they’re due.” Ketch muttered, brushing your threats like they were nothing. He yanked you forward to the exit of the door, sealing your fate to the nightmare that was ahead for you. “Come along, Mary.”

This was supposed to be a special moment that you never would have expected to happen for you. It wasn't supposed to turn into a nightmare. You could feel one of the twins kick against the side of your stomach, as if they were wondering what was going on from the sudden activity that was going on they weren't used to. You winced at the sound of Dean pounding on the door to try his hardest at opening it, but when he realizes he was locked in here for good, he yelled on the top of lungs. You pressed a hand against the side of your stomach and quietly shushed your twins, whispering to them that everything was going to be okay.

+ + +

Three days. It'd been three days since the last you've seen of the boys and thrown into this room with almost no human contact throughout the day. Except for the times where they gave you meals, checked your vitals and made sure you were properly bathed. They wouldn’t want to risk a chance of having the twins get sick or hurt because they were neglecting their prisoner. But you felt more like their prized animal they were grooming for the slaughter. The idea of having them keep you alive until your due date, rip you open and take your own children made a shiver run down your spine from how heartless they could be. Yet, it was funny, seeing a few familiar faces that came through to check your vitals and see how the twins were doing. Not all of them were trained hunters like Toni and Ketch. Most of them were just the brains of the operation. They didn’t even know how to handle an alpha vampire that went rogue. Being six months pregnant and you saved a few of their asses from being sucked dry. And this is how they thanked you.

Suppose you could have overpowered one of them and held a gun to their head to try and bargain your way out of here. But you didn’t have much energy lately. You were tired, and it wasn’t because you were carrying around a set of twins that were demanding on your body. You suspected they slipped some medication into your God to keep you compliant to their liking. All you did most of the time was just sit here and stare off into space, or sleep. You kept yourself occupied by lying on the bed they provided for you and rubbing patterns into your stomach, telling stories to the twins about their father and uncles of all the crazy things you’d done over the years. It seemed they liked it from the punches and kicks you gotten every once in awhile. Most importantly you told them all of you would be reunited again.

On the third day you slipped into a deep sleep that brought a dream that felt too real. You weren't pregnant anymore, but instead of being stuck in the British Men of Letters, you were back in the bunker with the boys, and the twins were born. You didn't know what they were going to look like, but they sure were going to be tiny and have little faces squished up. You were calmed at the dream of going throughout the day of taking care of your own children and being with your husband. It still made a smile spread across your lips whenever you said it. You lazily began to twirl the rings on your finger and try to get yourself to doze off again and get back to the comforting fantasy. Your body was starting to grow heavier, and while it seemed like you could snag some more sleep, you were brutally shaken awake from the sounds of footsteps stomping across the hall, and if you were sure, gunshots just a split second later.

You furrowed your brow in confusion as you slowly got up from the bed and began walking to the door when you wondered what the hell was going on out there. You pressed your ear against the door to try and listen on the chaos that seemed to have been growing outside with each passing second. It seemed something was going on. Your eyes drifted away from the metal door to see the lights on around in the place shut off, engulfing your vision into complete darkness. But the precious seconds that you had made an idea cross your mind. Inhaling a deep breath, you quickly reached out to open the door, thinking the Brits weren't expecting this. Or maybe they were having a bit of a technical issues. Whatever it was, the lock must have been electronically, because when you tried to open it this time, it slipped with ease. You had mere seconds to enjoy this brief victory. The lights kicked back on a second later. Your eyes jumped to the hallway when a hue of red fluorescent lights illuminated the place and a shrilling sounds of an alarm pierces your eardrums for a brief moment before it shut off. It seemed the place was in lock down mode. Someone was here.

You peered around to see the hall was completely empty, you hesitated to step out and explore the place to see what was going on. Maybe it was a small technical issue…Or maybe someone was trying to break in. Biting your bottom lip, you had a feeling this was too good to be true. There was no way the boys could get out of that bunker. You were on your own for this one. You decided you had nothing to lose anymore. One of those snobby Ivy leagues said you were were very soon, as in you could be here for another week. Or you could start having contractions tonight. They could have easily cut you open and take what they wanted, but to be safe, they were letting nature take its course. Whatever it was, you knew it was better than waiting around like a caged animal. The worse consequences you were going to be faced with was an eye roll from one of the guards before they shoved you back here.

You began wandering down the hallway to explore what you could, all while making sure to keep yourself quiet as possible. The halls were empty with almost no soul in sight, which was beginning to make you wonder what was going on. Usually this place was crawling with guards. You turned the corner to continue on exploring, but you stopped right in your tracks at what you saw next. It was a gruesome sight you would've never expected to find. Bodies were lying on the floor, a few of them were in uniform, and another one was dressed in flannel. You peered over to see if you could take a look at the face. It was a familiar one. You realized it was someone you hunted with a few times before. An American hunter? You heard footsteps approaching the corner from where you came, and before you could realize it, your hunter instincts kicked in. You were about to grab the gun, but you suddenly reached out a hand to steady yourself on the wall when you felt a dull pain suddenly hit you in the lower abdomen and back. You let out a sharp breath, presuming it was one of the babies fussing around for more room. You shut your eyes and tried to remember that breathing technique Kelly taught you. Sometimes it was normal to have false contractions, the pain started to slowly disappear a few seconds after it started. You tried your hardest to keep yourself on your feet, but you almost forgot someone was coming in your direction. You were expecting it to be a guard, but your eyelids ripped wide open at the familiar voice.

"Holy…you weren’t joking around. She is pregnant, all right.” You looked over to see a face that you have almost five days ago. But there she stood, Jodie in all of her glory, eyes focused on your stomach that barley was being contained in the shirt you were wearing. Along with a face that you thought you'd never see again standing right next to her. “Thanks for giving me a heads up.”

“Sorry. If I had it my way, I would’ve told you sooner.” You told her, your hand wrapping around one of the bars that was conveniently behind you. You felt the pain keeping on for a few seconds longer, all before it disappeared. You let out a breath, wondering if that was what you thought it was. “Oh, this isn’t good.”

“What? What’s not good?” Sam nervously asked, approaching you as the man tried to help balance you back to your feet. You let out a quiet laugh as you looked at him with a bit of a smile, giving him a bit of a hint of what it could be. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Now?"

"Relax, Sammy. This is the first one. If I get one in five minutes, then we should start panicking." You brushed off his concern when he realized you had a contraction. You inhaled a breath as you looked straight down the hall, your mind focusing on something else that was more protective. "If you guys don't mind, I'd like to kick some British ass and get the hell out of here."

+ + +

It turns out the boys were capable of saving the day this time without your help. While it took a few days, a failed attempt or two, they finally figured out how to get out of the bunker before it was too late. Dean and that stupid grenade launcher was the reason why you were sitting in the Impala with his little brother, driving away from the British Men of Letters bunkers that would be soon in shambles. The boys had decided that if the hunters from across the pond wanted to fight dirty, they needed all the help they could get. They rounded up all the American hunters that were still alive, and even found Mary before she could try and kill Jodie. Unfortunately Dean wasn’t here with his little brother. His leg had gotten pretty busted up after the explosion. And Toni decided she owed the boys a favor. She had a way to reverse the damage that was done to Mary. But it required going deep into her conscious, pulling out the true Mary, and not the killing machine they turned her into.

You were growing nervous when you arrived back at the bunker. Every single British hunter was dead, except for one. You reassured that Sam you were feeling somewhat fine, the contractions were coming on and off the past half an hour during the drive back. Most of the baby books that you read yourself said that early stages of labor weren't something to stress about. But Sam still wanted you to go the hospital. You promised that you would, but you wanted to get your overnight bag. Not to mention, you wanted to make sure Dean and Mary were all right. The contractions came every half an hour, and after you gotten over the initial shock, you would be fine. It gave you some room to stretch your legs and see the damage done to the bunker after the boys got loose. And make sure Arthur Ketch was dead.

You wandered through the bunker, taking a shortcut through the garage when the doors were still locked from the outside. You told a little white lie that you would wait when Sam headed inside himself to see how things were going. Part of you was hopeful you would stumble upon the sight of Dean hovering over Ketch's dead body, but when you got closer to the library, your blood ran cold when you heard a noise echo through the air, it sounded like a groan of pain. You didn’t waste a second of following the sight to the library.

It was there you had saw a terrible fight had broken out; a few tables were broken, shelves were knocked over, and Ketch’s back was turned to you. He was enjoying himself too much of how Dean was lying on the ground in pain. He honestly thought he was going to get out of this with everything he wanted. “Oh, what? Did you honestly think you'd get it all? A wife, a couple of screaming brats. You’d fix Mummy all back to normal and everything would be all right.” Ketch taunted the man as he took a few steps forward to him. “Sorry, Dean. Not how this ends. This ends with me, taking your happiness and destroying it. Your kids are gonna be the best hunters we ever had. Perfect little killing machines. Y/N will turn out exactly like Mary. She’ll join us.”

“I’m gonna kill you.” Dean hissed at the man as he struggled to get up to his feet. He looked up and gave the man a smirk as he let out a chuckle, trying to use the horrifying thoughts as motivation to strangle the life out of him. But he spotted a piece of wood not too far from where he was lying. Both of the men were bloody and bruised, nearly at the edge of calling defeat, yet each of them had a reason to keep on going. Dean managed to wrap his hands around the wood and push himself to his feet, thinking he was going to win this fight once and for all. He stood tall with a smile spreading across his lips. “When you left us alone in the bunker, told us that plan, man, I knew you were psycho, but I didn’t think you were stupid.”

“I may be many things…but I’m not stupid.” Ketch said. In the blink of an eye, Dean found himself staring down the barrel of a gun after the man pulled it out from his ankle. He tensed up at the situation that looked grim. Ketch’s lips stretched into a grin as his finger moved to the trigger, but when a gunshot noise echoed through the bunker, it wasn’t from him.

Dean’s eyes went wide in shock to see that Ketch was hit in the shoulder, wounding the man just enough for him to drop the gun right out of his hands. Both of the men looked over to see who was standing at the other end of the library, holding the smoking gun. It was someone that Dean would never see again, with that big old stomach he thought he’d never to lay his eyes on again. You stood with your hands wrapped around the gun and your finger on the trigger.

"Y/N?" Dean asked with a quiet tone, disbelief clear in his voice from what he’d witnessed.

“Eight and half months pregnant and I’m still saving your ass.” You tried to make a joke, but you felt another contraction hit you, marking this closer together from your last one. You flinched in discomfort as you nearly dropped the gun, you managed to recover and concentrate hard enough long enough to keep the gun directly pointing at Ketch. Dean, bloodied and bruised, hobbled over to you, making sure to kick the gun out of the way before Ketch could do something stupid. You looked at the man on his knees who was trying his hardest to keep his shoulder wound from bleeding out. “You know what happens in the wild when animals try to mess with a mother’s babies? They get slaughtered. Every single one of them.”

“You think you’re better than me, Y/N, but you’re not. You still have a bit of that demon in you that truly never went away. You’re a killer. Both of you are.” Ketch said. “Your children are doomed for the same fate."

"No," Dean disagreed with the man. "They're not."

You didn’t waste a second before you pulled the trigger, landing a bullet directly into Ketch’s head, killing him instantly. His body dropped to the floor with a thud, not even a second later, you dropped the gun, wanting the weapon far away from you as possible. It might have been a stupid move, but you knew damn well every single one of the Brits who had stepped on American soil were dead, and you were once more safe. You looked over at the man standing next to you with a growing smile, all while, he stared at you with initial shock that wouldn't leave his face. Both of you thought you lost one another. You didn't waste a second in letting out a soft laugh when Dean didn't waste a second in pressing his lips against yours, giving you a kiss that was filled with nothing but passion, wanting to show you of how much he missed you in the best possible way.

You felt yourself being lost in the sensation, almost forgetting about the news you were about to give him that lead you here in the first place. You were quickly reminded when you felt a weird popping sensation hit you down below. Not exactly a contraction, yet it was fairly important. You furrowed your brow into the kiss when you felt something wet start trickling down your legs. As you tried to pull away from Dean, he seemed too lost in wanting to let you go. You mumbled his name as you placed your hands on his chest, making him give you some space. He gave you a worried look, wondering what could be wrong, but when he noticed you were looking down, his gaze followed of where you were looking.

“Y/N, you didn’t…” Dean looked back up at you, trying his hardest not to sound insensitive as he asked. But you cut him off before he could get the wrong impression.

“My water broke, you idiot!”

+ + +

You weren’t the type of person who handled pain well. Whenever you needed stitches or gotten a bullet in you from a hunt that went a bit wrong, it took both of the boys to help you through without clawing their throats out. The birthing process was no exception. You screamed and cursed, threatened everyone that looked at you a bit of a funny expression and regretted thinking having children was a good idea. After sixteen grueling hours in the delivery room, your little bundles of joy were brought into this world. It seemed that you really didn't figure it out that you were about to become a mother until you heard the screams coming from baby number one, a healthy boy. Five minutes later, you pushed out baby number two, a little girl. It took about an hour until things were finally under control. You were in your own private room in the hospital with the twins swaddled in their blankets, eager to meet their parents who fought tooth and nail to make sure they were safe.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.” Dean cooed at the whimpering bundle in his arms. You'd never seen Dean so happy in his entire life. He was with you every single step of the way and ignored the concerned nurses who suggested he should get checked out a bit more thoroughly. He would, the man just wanted to hold his children first. He was a bit terrified, thinking that he was going to drop one of them, but the nurse helped so he was holding the both of them comfortably in each arm. He stared at them for the longest time, trying to get the idea that they were really his, that a little part of him was going to be kept in the world. You could feel a smile starting to creep at the end of your lips at how he looked when Dean finally tore his gaze away from the twins when they finally quieted down and gotten comfortable in his embrace. “I think they like me. Can we keep ‘em?”

“Considering all the trouble they’ve been causing before that even got here, you better.” You glanced over to the doorway of the hospital room to see Sam was standing with a grin of his own, happy to finally be granted access to see his niece and nephew after being shunned to the waiting room for the past several grueling hours without an update. "By the way, look who I found."

“Cas!” You shouted the angel’s name as a smile spread across your face with joy. You were happy to see that Cas was okay, but it didn't mean you were going to excuse his absence when you needed him the most. “Where the hell have you been? We’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”

“I’ve been spending my time with Kelly. I knew your due date was soon, so I’ve been trying to learn much as possible from her. She’s been very helpful. And she’s a single mother’s mother, too. A few blogs of mothers that I read had explained how difficult it can be. But she’s doing quite well with Jack.” Cas said, giving you a bit of an update on the woman who had almost given birth to the antichrist. He walked inside the room with Sam, but it seemed he didn’t come empty handed. Your eyebrows raised up when he showed off a bag with a baby themed print all over it. “This is from Kelly. She would have liked to be here, but Jack has been keeping her busy. She says congratulations, and good luck.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet of her.” You muttered underneath your breath from the gesture. But you didn’t focus on much more of the thoughtful gift, your smile grew wider as you gestured for the men to step father into the room to take a closer look at the twins “Uncle Sam, and Uncle Cas, I’d like you two to first meet your nephew, Robert John Winchester.”

You and Dean had discussed baby names while you were still pregnant. There were dozens upon dozens of options that you could choose from, but you decided to do what Mary had done to her own children, and named them after your parents. Sam cautiously stepped forward to his nephew and examined the little face that was his family, a second generation Winchester. He seemed a bit hesitant when you told him that he could hold the baby. Dean seemed to like the idea of getting at least one of his hands free from a child as one of them was starting to grow numb. You watched as Sam, very carefully, and awkwardly, tried his hardest to cradle the neck just enough so he wouldn’t hurt his nephew and supported the body just enough.

“Wanna give it a try, Cas?” Dean offered up a chance to hold his daughter. There was going to be plenty of times that he could hold the twins. The angel seemed a bit overwhelmed at the thought of holding the newborn, but before he knew it, Cas was cradling the baby. She fussed around a bit until she gotten comfortable. “See? Ain’t so bad. Both of you are naturals.”

“So,” Sam looked up from baby Robert and to his niece, who was slowly falling back asleep as Cas slowly began rocking her back and forth, saying how much she liked it when he did it. “You guys pick a name for her yet?”

“Well, it was a bit of a hard decision to make. But Dean and I thought one name was a perfect fit for her. Say hello to Mariella Grace Winchester. She's named after two very strong women in our lives. I think my mom would be happy with the choice. But I still have one more person to ask." You looked over at the hospital room doorway to see Mary was standing there. After everything that had happened, you couldn't hate her. She was brainwashed to do all those terrible things. And she found the strength to come back to reality with Dean's help. She proved herself that she wanted to be apart of your lives. And you couldn't dismiss the chance for her to see her grandchildren, scary as it was for her from the look on her face. "Mary, is it okay?"

The brothers and Cas turned to see that Mary was in fact standing hesitantly in the hallway, not sure if any of you would object of being here. Dean gave her a soft smile, giving the woman a bit of confidence to slowly walk inside and head over to the twins. She hesitantly looked at them from a safe distance, but when you told her it was okay, that she could hold them, you could see the happiness flood into her face. It'd been so long since she could hold a baby. It didn’t take too much convincing until she was sitting down comfortably in the rocking chair and holding her two grandkids. You didn’t think you had ever seen the woman more happier than right now for the past year of her being back than right now.

“So, mom? What do you say?” Dean asked his mother, a smile of his own spreading across his lips at the sight that he thought would never happen. “Mind if we name our daughter after you?”

"You're serious?" Mary hesitantly wondered, you could see the tears starting to form in her eyes when you nodded your head. She looked down at her grandchildren and let out a quiet laughter, trying her hardest not to make too much movement when Robert started to fuss a bit. “I can’t believe I’m a grandmother. This is…”

“Weird? Tell me about it.” You agreed with her. "Who thought any of this would've happened."

It was funny how life could work for you. Just a few days ago, it felt like there was no way out of this nightmare, your children could have been doomed for a life that you would have done anything to stop. The boys were near the edge of death and Mary was locked in her own head. But here all of you were. Three generations of Winchester's sat in this hospital room. You looked over at Dean when he approached your bed and reached out your left hand, reminding you when his finger grazed over your wedding ring that he was all yours. Your eyes shut for a few seconds when he bent down to give you a soft kiss on the lips.

Who would've thought that you, considering your past and record of a failed pregnancy before, could be given the chance to bring another pair of human lives into this world. You were married to the man that you loved, his mother was here to stay, and your best friends were right at your side. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad, after all.

“These kids are gonna have the best parents looking out for them.” Sam said. You looked away from the twins and to the younger Winchester. You could see that he meant it from the bottom of his heart. Even he was a little bit excited of having another Winchester running around the world in the near future. “Don’t ever doubt yourselves for a second.”

"It also helps that they have an uncle who's going to love them and probably let them get away with just about everything." You said. A quiet laugh escaped you when Sam rolled his eyes at the accusation you were already giving him. You looked over the twins when one of them began to start fussing and quietly crying.

“I believe Mariella is hungry and Robert is in need of a diaper change.” Cas said, being helpful to help decoding what went on in a baby’s mind.

“You’re the best, Cas. All of you are.” You said with genuine honesty. “I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to be stuck with.”

You gave everyone a smile as your gaze wandered over to the twins for one last time. Suddenly, out of randomness, an old rhyme popped into your head. It was one of those old tunes that you would sing on the playground to try and annoy someone. But to you, it couldn't have been anymore perfect to the situation right now. Dean and Y/N sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage...and then comes baby in a baby carriage.

#supernatural #reader insert #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfic #supernatural reader insert #supernatural x reader #spn #spn imagine #spn fanfic #spn reader insert #spn x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #supernatural rewrite #mine #this is almost twenty pages in google docs #but a majority of the episodes that i wrote also have been super depressing #so here's so cute stuff to cheer all of us up!

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movietvtechgeeks · 8 years ago

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/emotional-home-run-supernatural-1211-regarding-dean/

An Emotional Home Run for 'Supernatural' 1211 Regarding Dean

This week’s Supernatural made me emotional before we even knew what was happening, simply because I knew that this was it – the Dean loses his memory episode. The tiny preview clip shook me weeks ago, and then I asked Jensen about it at a recent con. Would it break my heart? He said that it at first would make me laugh, but then… His silence spoke volumes. He knows how much I adore the fictional character he plays, and I’m quite certain he knew the scene with Dean in the mirror was indeed going to destroy me. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s just say I was looking for signs of the impending amnesia even before they came, which made the opening ten minutes full of trepidation. That doesn’t mean I didn’t also laugh. A LOT. One of the reasons I’m certain that Supernatural is the best show ever is its brilliance in combining humor and angst in a single episode – sometimes in a single minute! This episode accomplished that repeatedly. Dean chases the witch, gets hexed by the witch, kills the witch, wakes up with a bunny. (Why did he wake up with a bunny? Who knows. Does writer Meredith Glynn love bunnies? Was somebody’s pet bunny on the soundstage that day and wanted to get in on the action? Does Jensen Ackles have a secret fondness for rabbits? No clue. I assume it refers to Dean’s rabbit comment in the previews. At any rate, it was adorable.) Ackles got ample room to exercise his comedy elbows…. I mean skills….in this episode. The face he made when the woman walking with her baby in the stroller looks aghast at him and gives him a dollar made me giggle even as I was dreading what was going to happen. Was that Kevin Park’s beautiful dog Kuma making a cameo appearance with the dog walking guy? Padalecki also got to show off his considerable comedy skills as Sam initially believes that Dean was on a bender and thus can be both bemused and annoyed at his lapses. Dean eats waffles, gets slapped by a woman he doesn’t remember, almost pukes over a murder victim with bags of bloody money pulled from his stomach…just another day for the Winchesters. And then things get not at all funny. Dean can’t remember which key to use to start the Impala. Oh god. This is the writing of someone who understands exactly what makes Dean DEAN and also knows how to rip my heart out. I half expected Robbie Thompson to peek out from behind an office door. (And yes, this is my highest compliment). To destroy me further, he then puts the car into reverse and crashes her into a newspaper stand. The icing on the cake? Sam: Dean! Dean: Who’s Dean? OMG. Let me pay Meredith Glynn another compliment. Many of the best stories I’ve ever heard about the Winchesters haven’t been on the show – they’ve been in fanfiction. I told Jensen the day I asked him about this episode that the amnesia Dean or amnesia Sam trope is one of my favorite flavors, but that it also kills me every time. That’s what I was hoping for from this episode – that it would live up to the amazing stories I’ve read that tackled this trope. And guess what? That’s what I got. Dean is in denial at first, insisting he’s fine – because who wouldn’t do that? Who wants to believe something as truly horrifying as the thought of losing your mind? Losing yourself. I’ve worked with people struggling with memory loss, and it’s profoundly terrifying. Lose your memory completely, and you’ve literally lost yourself, your identity, your ability to love or be loved. I can think of few things more terrifying. This episode, and Ackles and Padalecki’s brilliant acting played on that terror perfectly. Dean forgets the word for lamp, which in itself could be funny….almost. Sam puts a post-it note on it to remind him. Soon the room is covered in them. Sam alternates between being frustrated with his brother and starting to feel desperate and helpless, which Padalecki evoked perfectly. Finally, Sam calls Rowena. Rowena: Is he all smooth from the neck down, like a candle… Sam: I don’t know! And I’m not checking. Me: Darn. It’s getting less and less funny, as Sam turns around to find that Dean has disappeared. He just went out for ice, but even that simple thing is no longer simple – Sam is frantic, searching and calling out ‘Dean!’ until he finally finds him, trying to get into the wrong room. I think that was the point that the parallels to real life memory loss started to hit me. If you’ve ever witnessed someone going through something like that, it’s heartbreaking – and terrifying. And this episode got it so very right. They retrace Dean’s steps from the night before hoping to kill the witch and break the spell. With dizzying speed, the show veers back and forth from humorous (Dean, looking heartbreakingly innocent and about five years old, exclaiming “That’s awesome” when Sam tells him that witches and vampires and monsters are real and that they kill them), to heartbreaking, as Dean loses memories again and again. They eventually find the woman who slapped Dean in the bar and get a description of what he was up to and can’t remember the night before, which involves four shots of tequila and Dean riding Larry the mechanical bull. Dean: (hopefully) Was I good? Waitress: You were amazing. Sam: (eyeroll) The waitress apologizes for possibly taking advantage of a roofied Dean, which was a nice inclusion. Then the brothers review the video camera tapes from the night before and see Dean chase the bad guy out the back door. Dean: (attempting to read his own lips): No salsa real mittens… Sam: (exasperated) You can’t read lips. It’s funny, but it’s so not! Sam and Dean continue to retrace Dean’s steps into the woods, while Sam tells Dean who they are and what they do. That in itself was heartbreaking, Sam sounding like the big brother for a change. Dean, in his place of innocence, listens and then exclaims “Best job ever!” Sam doesn’t agree, citing all the grim realities. Dean: I don’t know, we kinda sound like heroes. Me: Damn right. Meanwhile, the dead witch’s siblings find his body and Rowena appears at the motel to help. Or to get her hands on the powerful spell book that the witch family have in their possession. Or maybe a little of both, if you love Rowena like I do. Dean: Your hair’s so bouncy! Rowena to Sam: Do we have to fix him? Sam entices Dean to sit down on the bed (actually he just grabs him by the shoulders and puts him there) with a promise of Cinemax. Dean’s selective memory interprets that as Skinemax, which he’s apparently quite comfortable with while Sam and Rowena are there too. It turns out to be a cartoon, but Dean has already forgotten what he was promised, so he smiles with pure joy and OMG I don’t know whether to laugh or start crying. Supernatural is often an emotional roller coaster, which I both love and hate, but this episode really delivered on that wild ride. Rowena makes it clear – to Sam and to us – that Dean won’t just lose his memory of his past. He’ll lose everything. He’ll forget who he is, how to do everything – even how to swallow. Dean Winchester will die. From the bed, Dean: Sucks for that guy. Oh god. My heart. Sam’s heart is clearly breaking too. Sam: I’ve watched my brother die. But watching him become…not him. This might actually be worse. Seeing the person you love most in the world slipping away, unable to do anything to stop it? I’ll say. This episode hit hard for anyone who has had to lose a loved one little by little, as many of us have. Almost too hard at some points. Sam takes Dean into the bathroom for some privacy and tells him their life story. Their shared history. Who Dean is, what he’s done. Dean: I can feel it, slipping out of my head. Sam: We’ll figure it out, okay? We will. How many times has Dean said that to Sam? *clutches chest* Then Sam leaves to go out and try to save his brother’s life. And that? Is what I live for. Dean faces himself in the mirror after Sam leaves, in the scene teased in that preview that made me so full of fear. “My name is Dean Winchester. My brother is Sam. My mother is Mary Winchester. My best friend is Cas.” He repeats it, each time more haltingly, each time struggling more to hang onto the awareness. And as we watch, we can see in heartbreaking detail that Dean is losing the battle. I’ve been blown away by Jensen’s acting many times during the course of twelve years of Supernatural, but this was one of those scenes that blew me away all over again. No wonder he wouldn’t reassure me that it wouldn’t kill me. It did. According to Ruth Connell, in one take we even got the One.Perfect.Tear ™ Rowena is left to babysit Dean, which she doesn’t seem to mind at all. Rowena never has a confidante who she can tell the truth to; she’s always too careful, too busy manipulating other people and trying to protect herself to just be real with anyone. That takes a toll after hundreds of years, I’m sure, so having someone who won’t remember it to confide in is a rare opportunity for Rowena. She tells him a story of the witch family who rejected her, back when she was lonely and desperate and – as she would put it – pathetic. Another glimpse of who Rowena is and how she got to be that way, which only makes me appreciate the character more. There’s a vulnerability to her that Connell has shown us glimpses of from the start, and that makes her so much more interesting. Oh and apparently Rowena has her own history with the British Men of Letters. Hmm. Sam, meanwhile, is being a big damn hero. When Rowena warns him that the witches would sooner use his skin as an outfit, he cocks his gun and replies, “They can try.” Damn. Is it hot in here? He breaks into the witches’ house but unfortunately gets taken down. And tied up. It’s like old school Supernatural! When the witches incapacitate him and Sam starts screaming, Dean and Rowena are on the other end of the phone. And Dean, who at that point does not even remember his own name, hears his brother scream in pain and yells into the phone: SAMMMM! That was it. If I’d been standing, I would have collapsed. Dean has forgotten everything, even who he is, even his own name. Everything but that one word, that one person. Sam. He yells it as Dean Winchester has done a billion times since Supernatural premiered, and it carries so much meaning that it nearly destroyed me. All the kudos, Meredith. All the kudos. Dean wakes up in the Impala, a post it note telling him his brother has been captured by a witch, and to STAY, while Rowena goes inside to try to save Sam. Dean still, on some level, being Dean, does not stay. He opens the trunk and is treated to Sam’s post it notes all over it, and at this point, I could not NOT laugh. On the trunk? OPEN ME. On the gun? THIS GUN. Next to it? WITCH KILLING BULLETS. On the grenade launcher? A big NO! Oh god, Show. I love you so. Dean bursts into the house just in time to save Rowena from the wicked witch, and then Sam and the other witch come downstairs. Dean, unfortunately, has no clue who to shoot. But Sam knows what to do. Sam: (pointing to himself) No no no, brother! (pointing to other guy) Witch! Boom! Dean shoots him (instinctively knowing to trust Sam’s voice, I wager) Rowena works her magic from the spell book, and Dean and Rowena descend the stairs a little while later. Sam: (still looking heartbreakingly anxious and so very hopeful): Is it done? Dean: (deadpan) Who’s this hippie? You can literally see Sam beginning to despair, in an amazing piece of acting by Jared. I started to tear up as I watched, just from the emotion on Sam’s face. And then Dean bursts into laughter, along with Rowena, proving to Sam that he does remember by recounting a silly childhood memory to break the tension. If I were Sam, I would have clocked him one (and then hugged the shit out of him), but I’m not Sam and Show has been really good to me tonight but not quite THAT good. So no brother hug, but we do get a classic Sam and Dean talk over the hood of the Impala moment, so I’m still pretty damn happy. Sam: Not funny. As they chat over the Impala, Sam says it was nice to see Dean looking happy, with all the burdens lifted from his shoulders that knowing what they’ve been through puts there. Dean disagrees. Dean: Was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn’t just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, what we do, all of it. So if that’s what being happy looks like, I think I’ll pass. That conversation reminded me of the end of one of my all time favorite episodes, The French Mistake. Sure, they could have stayed there, where there were no monsters. But they wouldn’t have been Sam and Dean. Sam: We’re not even brothers here, man. And that pretty much says it all. So the Winchesters drive away. All this time, I’m wondering where the scene is of Dean riding Larry. Cue the music of ‘Broomstick Cowboy’ and there it is, a video montage of Dean looking happy and innocent and riding a mechanical bull. I didn’t know the song, so at first it struck me as purely happy, but then again, it’s a country song, and that means heartache can’t be far behind…. Sure enough, the ending is a twist. “Soon you’ll be a dreadful thing – my son, you’ll be a man.” Woah. Chew on that one for a while, fandom. A paean to Dean’s childhood, lost too soon to hunting and his father’s quest for revenge? Or just a reminder that Dean does still hang onto the ability to find some joy in life, and he refuses to regret the life he’s chosen? I was left an emotional mess after that roller coaster of an episode, but you know what? I didn’t mind one bit. That’s the sort of episode that made me fall in love with this Show and these characters. I felt profoundly grateful to be gifted with an episode and actors’ performances that can still make me feel so much. Thank you, Show.

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huntertales · 7 years ago

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Part One: Don’t Give Up On Us. (Point of No Return S05E18)

Episode Summary: Dean begins to think the only way to stop Lucifer is to say yes to Michael, but the angels decide they don't need him anymore. The Winchesters and Castiel are horrified at the angels' new game plan and take on Zachariah to prevent an all out war on Earth. Meanwhile, the reader quickly learns making risky deals with Heaven and Hell have their consequences. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 5,692.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Dear Sasquatch, (Aka. Sammy)

If you’re reading this, then I’m long gone—and for God’s sake, please don’t come looking for me like a lost child. There’s a reason why I left. And why I decided to write you a letter instead of letting you worry that something happened to me. (I‘m fine. The Devil didn’t find me...yet.)

This is my version of a goodbye. I wish that I could’ve said it to you face to face, but you would have only stopped me from what I’m about to do. I can’t tell you much other than it’s for the greater good. And your own well being. Out of anyone I know, you don’t deserve the path fate have given you, you deserve so much more Sammy. You deserve happiness and a life that isn’t doomed for failure. All I have ever wanted was to protect you the best way that I can. You’re my best friend, the annoying little brother I never got the chance of seeing grow up. For what I’m about to do, at least I can be reassured you’ll live a long life with your brother. Like the both of you deserve.

Love your pesky best friend, Y/N.

They found the letters sitting on the motel pillow when it was time to leave Minnesota, the letters spread out with their names written neatly in cursive, and a waste basket filled with crumpled envelopes at your failed attempts of neat penmanship. You had taken the time in the middle of the night to write the boys a note before you left them for good. Sam read yours in the motel room by himself, trying to figure out what this meant. He wondered if this was caused by the conversation that you had with his brother that resulted in Dean becoming mute for the rest of the night and most of the early morning before they realized you were gone. What made Sam the most upset was that he didn’t understand why you would leave out of the blue. He read the letter almost a dozen times to figure out what it meant, but for the man being so smart, he couldn’t figure out why you ran away. Or what you were about to do.

+ + +

Dear Dean,

First off, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things that I said to you over the past few days and how neglectful I have been with your own feelings over the past several months—or years. I really don’t know when you have gotten so sad and hopeless. But you're a man who only shows me so much. I tried to understand about where you have been coming from. You're a child who had to grow up so fast and take care of everyone your entire life. And when it counts the most, you're tired of the fight. You’re tired of having to be the strong one who has to try and save the day. So don’t. Sit back and let me take care of this.

But don’t you dare stop yourself short of a happy life. I don’t care if you spend the rest of your days just cruising around in the Impala. As long as you and Sam are together, happy, then I’m happy. And say what you will about fate, about anything that brought us together. I was wrong. I do need you. I do love you. I loved you since we were little kids. And I love you still as I'm writing this note. What I'm about to do is for you, the man who I've always loved. My soulmate. Maybe one day we'll meet again in Heaven and share an eternity of blissful happiness. But we're not getting there for you to saying yes to Michael. I won't have that. For once, I want to save you.

Take care of your baby brother for me, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. And most importantly, please take care of yourself.

I love you with all my heart, Y/N.

Dean didn't read your letter until he decided that enough was enough, he ran away himself. Sitting in a motel room with a bottle of whiskey and a box filled with all of his personal items getting ready to be shipped off to Bobby, he sat himself down and gathered the courage to see what you had to say. He didn't know the reason why you ran off again. The first time was back when the demon deal was your only problem. He sold his soul to a crossroads demon to save his brother, you made another one with Crowley to take his spot in Hell. Just a few years later, Dean had a feeling history was repeating itself all over again. You had a trick up your sleeve that you thought was going to solve everyone’s problems. He crumbled the note and threw it to the ground. It was all he needed to hear to know what he had to do.

+ + +

Dear, Cas.

Yes. I'm writing a letter to you, too. I know over the past few years our friendship has been a bit rocky. I mean, I did stab you in the chest when we first met...to be fair, I thought you were a demon. Maybe first impressions are everything. (And here is my terrible attempt at humor you probably won't get. It was a joke, I hope that made you laugh a bit. I know you’ve been feeling a bit down lately with everything that has been happening.) Despite our difference and bumping of the heads, you are a part of this family. A very dysfunctional, unhealthy obsessed people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. And you did that when you rebelled against Heaven. For us. I don’t think I ever got the chance to say thank you. For everything. I don’t know what the boys and I would do without you. I’m going to miss you.

If this works, I want you to do something for me. Please take care of my boys. Make sure they don’t do anything dumb and kill each other in the process. And have a bit of fun yourself—but lay off the alcohol. (Again, another joke...made me chuckle at least. And God knows it’s been a while.) I don’t know if you would consider our very up and down relationship as anything, but I think of you as my family. And that’s why I’m doing this. Because you’re my friend Cas, and like the Winchester way, I’m doing this so you don’t get yourself hurt or caught in the crossfire. Please take care of yourself, buddy and don’t get into too much trouble.

Love from your friendly half-demon to her pesky angel from above, Y/N.

Cas read his letter when he gotten better after what Leah, aka the whore of Babylon, had done to him. He vanished himself far away after the brothers began fighting about what the right thing to do was. Sam wanted to look for you, Dean was too caught up in his own self destruction to think about anything but himself. It was strange to see you had disappeared out of thin air, there was no new leads on how to stop Lucifer, but he had a feeling if you had gotten a clue, you would take it without informing them. The angel was still learning about human emotions, but he understood the bond between you and the brothers. It was like any other he seen before. What the three of you were willing to do just for each other’s safety. The angel had a feeling that’s why you had ran away. You were about to do something very stupid.

+ + +

Home is where the heart is. You called some little hotel at least a few dozen states away from where you last ended up as the place where you would rest your head for now. It was a fairly small town that barely had any books in their library that weren't religious or some crappy book that they decided was pure enough for them to read. You didn't pick this place because you wanted to read banned fiction like The Catcher in the Rye or Fahrenheit 451. It was because in small towns like this, where everyone carried around a pocket sized bible, is where you would find all the good contents of religion. And in your time of need, you needed just about any kind of scripture that dated back two thousand years ago. You scoped out the library for every old testament, new testament, book of revelation and content that was dated back to the days when God was still around. The librarian who had helped you out looked at you a bit funny, you told her it was for a very detailed project.

It wasn’t a lie. You had been spending the past two weeks on your own, running from just about anything that would put a crimp in your plan. This was a fine line you were walking here after you made a fate you couldn’t run away from. You had said yes to the Devil. What for? Too much, that's what. You had promised Lucifer himself that when the time came, you would be all his. You agreed to becoming a demon for the sake of his own personal obsession. And the cherry on top of it all. Instead of Sam being his vessel for the big fight, you said you would. You were going to be Satan's prom date. But that was just the beginning of the mess you were about to get yourself into. There was so much more than you bit off.

You decided that changing Lucifer’s vessel wasn't enough, you changed one more detail. Something that would forever make you feel terrible for dragging someone who you'd never personally met before into this mess. Dean was supposed to be the vessel for Michael, but instead, you given a different name. Adam Milligan. The illegitimate son of John Winchester, but he was still blood. It would work. At least, that’s what Zachariah promised in that dirty bar. Both of you were down on your luck. He’d gotten kicked to the curb after not closing the deal of a lifetime. You had decided to throw your entire life away for the sake of saving three people.

Over some cheap whiskey, you and him discussed the fate of the world and moving to that neat little thing called paradise. Maybe you were becoming a demon, because you were making a lot of deals. And you were being very manipulative. You had discussed with Zachariah the new game plan you had been thinking about. Say you became the vessel for Lucifer after you turned yourself into a demon so you could be strong enough. How would that benefit Heaven? In so many ways they didn’t think about. While you had been possessed by Lilith, you were in some control of your own body. You could have stopped her, but you chose not to. You proposed the idea that you could rig the fight so Michael could come out as the champion and Lucifer would return back to the cage where he belonged. Problem solved. At least, that’s what he was lead to think.

Lucifer thought you were going to join his side, the angels had faith in the idea you were going to let them win. Neither of them knew what you were scheming in privacy. You might have been a half demon, you might be putting yourself in a compromise that you could never bring yourself out of. But you were trying. You knew there was a way to put Lucifer back in the cage. You just needed to find the answers and keep everyone at bay. Just for a little bit longer. The marking on your ribs kept you hidden from all angels, and the devil's trapped you put on the floor was an added precaution for any sort of demons that were trying to get on Lucifer's good side. But you knew the biggest obstacle standing in your way was the Winchester boys.

You made it back from the library with at least three different books you found that seemed decent enough to figuring out more answers than bible passages that made no sense. You fetched a hand inside your jean pocket to pull out your key and shoved it into the lock of your hotel room door. Twisting it and hearing the lock click back into place, you pushed open the door with a free hand and stepped inside. You reached out to switch on the light and look around the room to see that things were as they were when you left them. But you noticed something was different. You could feel the books that you had been holding come crashing to the ground as your face dropped into a panicked expression.

Somebody was sitting at the desk that you had been using earlier this morning and going through all the research and notes you had gathered over the past several days. The stranger was Sam Winchester, and from the look on his face, he was upset about having to find you like this. He flipped your notebook shut and looked up at you, "Doing some research without me?"

"H—How did you find me?" You managed to form a question as you blinked, a bit taken back from how quick he managed to track you down so quickly.

"I've been running around since I was a kid, Y/N. I know all the tricks we taught you." Sam answered you. His tone was calm, but you could see in his expression this conversation was about to turn south. He wasn't here to see how things were going, he wanted to drag you back home. You watched as he pulled something out from his pocket jacket and threw it to the desk. It was the letter that you had wrote for him. It seemed that wasn't enough to keep him satisfied. "You know something, don't you? You get like this when you try to solve a problem. You push people people away and go straight for the kill without thinking about the consequences."

“It doesn’t concern you or your brother, Sam.” You told him with a strong tone. Your voice was growing harsher from the way he was treating you, like a child who had no clue of what you were doing. “I know a way out of this. Just leave me alone.”

“So that’s why you broke up with Dean?” Sam's question made you stop from bending down and grab the books that you had previously dropped. You slowly looked up at him and looked a bit surprised at the information that you doubt his brother would have willingly given up. "Stopped by Lisa's place on the way here. Funny thing was, Dean didn't stop by her place when he ran off himself, but she did get a letter in her mailbox—written by you. Wasn't too hard to connect the dots after I read it for myself."

You were taken back from hearing the news that Dean had run off himself shortly after you. It wasn't much of a surprise there, you had a feeling he was a flight risk just waiting for the right push to send him off the edge. But it seemed your words of advice to go after another woman didn't work. Nervously swallowing, you began wondering if he was about to do something stupid. Like say yes to Michael before you got a chance to find a way out of this.

“So, this is how you want things to end?” Sam asked you, his voice growing harder as he stood up from the chair. You looked away from him when you could see the sadness starting to creep into his eyes from the position you had forced the young man into. His brother had been on the edge, and you had made things only worse. “You’re gonna push everyone away and run away? How could you do that to us?”

“How could I? All you've ever done is run away! And I’ve done nothing else but supporting you! Stanford, the demon blood, Ruby, accidentally letting Lucifer out of the cage. You thought you were trying to help us, Sammy. I never looked down at you for what you did. Unlike your own brother.” You told him, as if he didn’t know about his past mistakes. You let out a sigh, realizing how it must have come across like it was a bad thing. “Look, I think I found a way to put Lucifer back in the cage.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you run away?” Sam asked, hoping you would give a straightforward answer. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away from him, as if you were trying to standing your ground. He scoffed quietly underneath his breath as he shook his head from how you were behaving. "You know I have to stop you, Y/N."

"What are you gonna do? Throw me over your shoulder?" You gave a presumption as you let out a quiet chuckle, Sam shrugged his shoulders at the possibility. Your lips stretched faintly into a smirk at your own advantage from the public setting you were in. "You might be bigger than me Sasquatch, but you’re not taking me out of here. I'll scream on the top of my lungs if you so dare touch me."

“Fine. Whatever. I really don’t care.” Sam said as let out a sigh from how you were making this a little more complicated than it should have been. “But just so you know, I brought help.”

You furrowed your brow slightly from what the younger Winchester said, wondering for a moment about what he meant by that. But the sound of fluttering wings behind you, meaning only one thing. You slowly looked over your shoulder to see Cas, the angel who always entered the room by coming out from thin air, was standing right behind you. You opened your mouth to try and get them to change your mind, but before you could, the angel put his index finger on your forehead, sending the three of you far away from the hotel.

+ + +

Much as they politely asked, you didn't give up what sort of trick you had up your sleeve. You sat on the cot with your back pressed against the wall and your arms crossed over your chest, staying completely silent after being brought back from Bobby's against your will. Sam and Cas worked together into tracking down where you had ran off to, his older brother also. You were a bit taken back to see Dean again, and while he seemed pissed off himself at being brought back like a small child, the both of you were thrown into a different loop of emotion at just laying eyes on one another. Your lips attempted to give him a warm smile, Dean seemed relieved to see that you were in his sight once again without a trace of harm on you. But it was only a matter of time until the room sank back down to anger. He couldn’t forget that you had broke up with him, that you pushed him away.

“Yeah, no, this is good, really. Eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches, but tonight— tonight’s when the magic happens. Yeah, only if Y/N opens that big mouth of hers and tells us her great, big plan." Dean paced back and forth around the room, making his frustrations clear to everyone who was trying to block his pessimistic attitude out. Bobby and Sam at at his desk to look over some books as Cas leaned against the wall, his eyes narrowed on the oldest Winchester. You looked away from the wall you had been staring at and up slightly to see that Dean was staring at you, his lips stretched into a grim smirk, as if you were going to admit your master plan. You scoffed quietly underneath your breath and looked away. Bobby tried to get the man to calm down as Dean decided to stop pacing for a moment and lean himself against the wall right across from where you were sitting. "If you don't want me around, why don't you let me get out of your hair, then?"

Bobby tried his hardest to ignore the oldest Winchester’s behavior. But he thought the young man was only acting like a fool for how he was treating everyone. He tossed the newspaper article he had been reading to the desk and looked at Dean, “What the hell happened to you?”

“Reality happened.” Dean answered the man with a sharp tone. “Nuclear’s the only option we have left. Michael can ice the Devil, save a boatload of people.”

“But not all of them.” Bobby pointed out the small fact that the young man seemed to have forgotten about in his selfish way of thinking. “We got to think of something else.”

“Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say,” The oldest Winchester muttered, brushing off Bobby's words that were supposed to be supportive. But the man’s one minded track wasn’t making him think of the end game if the worst happened and the enemy won because he was too late to solve the problem. “But if Lucifer burns this mother down and I could have done something about it, guess what—that’s on me.”

Silence filled the room after what Dean had said. He knew what would happen if he continued to say no to Michael. The world would end in complete chaos and an outbreak of the nasty croatoan virus would reign most of the population into monsters. His brother would say yes to the Devil and the woman that he loved—Dean corrected himself, the woman who pushed him away, would turn into a demon. But he could stop all of it from happening if he just said yes to the archangel. Then he could finally let someone else take a hold of the fight he was tired of trying to win. But his ideal thought of how it would all end only lasted a few moments when a voice broke the tension that had fallen over the five of them.

"Dean Winchester, the man who has to do everything himself." You spoke for the first time since arriving back at Bobby's. You could feel four pairs of eyes shifting to you at what you had said, followed by a small chuckle that escaped afterwards. Slowly, you removed your gaze away from the wall and to the man who was hovering over, wondering what you meant by that. "Ever come to think that we can solve this problem without having you do all the heavy lifting?"

"And she speaks. What's your big plan, sweetheart?" Dean asked you with a bit of a curiosity, but his tone of voice was nothing short of cold and cruel. "You gonna push people away and go waltzing off to the sunset with the Devil? I'm sure he's a better match for you. I mean, the two of you are a match in Hell. The only reason why you’re alive is because of him.”

"You know, I take everything I said back. I hope you die miserable and alone. Because the only person that you care about is yourself." You pushed yourself up from the cot to stand in front of Dean, giving him the fuel to continue on this fight that never seemed to have ended between the two of you. While it had been done behind closed doors, the three men witnessed how you and Dean had crumbled into a pair of people they didn’t even recognize. “You sad, sack of sh—”

Before you could wipe the smirk off Dean's mouth, someone grabbed a hold of your wrist, stopping you from letting this escalate to levels that you didn't need to go right now. You were broken out of your thoughts when Cas shook his head at you, as if he was giving you a warning not to do something you would only regret later. You let out a quiet sigh and stepped away from Dean to give yourself some space from him. You avoided any eye contact with Sam or Bobby as they stared in astonishment from what had unraveled right in front of their eyes.

“It wasn't too long ago the two of you were doing were walking around here with that puppy love of yours. You would do anything to save one another. Hell, you have. Now you're clawing at one another's throats and saying some pretty stupid stuff.” Bobby said, trying to be the voice of reason here. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked around the room. You knew the man was right. But it was hard when the oldest Winchester wouldn't cooperate. “Both of you need to snap out of this. And you can’t give up so easily, son.”

“You’re not my father.” Dean responded to the man’s words with a few that were the worst of all that he could ever speak. You looked at him with an astonishment form what he had done. But the oldest Winchester seemed to have no remorse. “And you ain’t in my shoes.”

You scoffed underneath your breath and tightened your arms around your waist a little bit more. Sam looked over at this big brother and stared at him with anger, he shook his head in disappointment from what he was doing without any sense of how his words were affecting the people he loved. But he knew. Dean tore his gaze away and stared straight on, he swallowed and tried his hardest not to show any sort of emotion any other than frustration for how this situation was working out.

Bobby had done a lot for the three of you. He’d been there since the brothers were kids and tried to give them at least a little bit of normalcy when John dropped them off for a hunt. He had been there when you had been tracked down by Meg, sold your souls to a few demons and then tried to save you from Hell. He had been there when Sam was strung out of demon blood and had no idea of what to do. Bobby was still here at the result of being paralyzed from the waist down after being possessed by a demon. And he was still here, trying to find a way to stop the apocalypse that the three of you had caused which each step that you took. But the older hunter decided to prove Dean’s hurtful words wrong.

You looked over to the desk when you heard something heavy land on top of an open book that Bobby had next to him. The man pulled out a revolver from a drawer and placed it for everyone to see. He then took a bullet from the pocket of his flannel shirt and made sure Dean could see it clearly. Dean asked him what that was for.

“That’s the round I mean to put through my skull. Every morning, I look at it, and I think…‘Maybe today’s the day I flip the lights out.’ But I don’t do it. I never do it. You know why?” Bobby asked the younger man. But he didn’t wait for him to answer, he wanted to be the one to tell him as his tone matched his anger from how he felt. “Because I promised you I wouldn’t give up!”

Dean was stricken silent from the words that he heard. Out of anyone in this room that was a risk of taking the swan dive, it was Bobby. After his incident with the possession, the one where he had stabbed himself to save you and Dean, he had been vocal about ending his own life, thinking he couldn't be a hunter with no working legs. But the man carried on to this very day because he knew it wasn't worth it, his actions would deeply affect you and the brothers. You found yourself staring at the bullet Bobby had placed down on the table. All though you hadn’t told him your plan, you had a feeling he would react the same way as he did to Dean. Yet you knew there wasn’t a better option for this.

You were torn away from your personal thoughts when Cas suddenly was stricken down with a headache. Your face scrunched in concern as you watched the angel clutched his head and groaned quietly in pain. All of you stared at him, not sure what was going on.

“Cas, you okay?” You asked him with concern. The angel shook his head no as the pain seem to have gotten worse for a moment or so longer before he tried to return back to normal. “What’s wrong?”

“Something’s happening.” Cas whispered.

Dean tried to ask the angel where it was, but before he could get an answer, Cas left in a hurry, a burst of wind followed behind as a few papers slowly drifted into the air before falling to the ground. You stared at the spot where Cas had been previously staring at, wondering yourself of what was going on—and if it had to do with the little plan you had set up for them.

+ + +

Cas was gone for what felt like forever. You spent the time in the kitchen with your nose buried in a book that you had spotted buried underneath a few others on his desk. While you kept yourself occupied for the time being, your mind kept wandering back to what was going on with the angel. Zachariah had promised to keep his word about the plans. What if he didn't? You tapped your foot against the floor and turned the page, forcing yourself to read about the fall of Lucifer, but your attention was quickly ripped away when you heard Bobby’s voice echo from the library.

“Boys! Y/N!”

You pushed yourself up from your chair and shut the book you were reading to follow behind the brothers to see what was going on. Stepping back into the library, you noticed right away that Cas had come back with some luggage with an unconscious body lying over his shoulder. You could feel your heartbeat starting to pound harder in your chest when he tossed him down to the cot and stepped away to let you see who it was. It was a young face that you had seen only once before, but it was the kind of face that made your mouth part open slightly. He was dirty and didn't move a muscle, but Adam Milligan was the boy who had been brought back from the dead. They did it. The angels listened to your plan.

“Who is it?” Bobby asked as he wheeled himself over to the bed.

“That’s our brother.” Sam answered with a quiet voice.

Bobby was confused himself at seeing the young man in the flesh again after hearing about the first encounter that didn't end well. The one you had met was of a ghoul who had killed him and took his form as some revenge. The boys shrugged their shoulders from what was going here as they stared at the youngest brother with absolute confusion. Dean looked over at Cas, wondering himself of what the hell was going on here. Cas placed down two blades that were meant to kill only angels, he didn't have any helpful answers, but he knew one thing was for sure. The kid was a red flag for his fellow brothers and sisters who would be searching for Adam soon as they realized he was missing from his grave where he crawled out from.

“I know one thing for sure.” Cas said. “We need to hide him now.”

Cas placed a hand on Adam's chest and used the same trick like had on you and the boys by carving in some enochian sigils into the man's ribcage. The feeling of an unknown force burning into his bones made Adam wake up from his long sleep. He inhaled a deep breath as his eyes shot wide open. The young man was quick to sit himself up on the bed when he took notice of Bobby, a man he had never seen before. He stared at the five of you with almost a panicked expression as he began asking of where he was.

“It’s okay. Just relax.” Sam reassured him with a calm tone. “You’re safe.”

“Who the hell are you?” Adam asked.

“You’re gonna find this a little—a lot crazy,” Dean corrected himself at what he was about to say to the man. “But we’re actually your brothers.”

“It’s the truth. John Winchester was our father, too.” Sam said, backing up with what his brother had mentioned as he tried to introduce himself. “See, I’m Sam—”

“Yeah, and I’m sure that’s Dean. And you’re for sure that you’re Y/N. They warned me about you.” Adam said. His gaze turned away from the boys that were his own flesh and blood to you from what spoke of last. The brothers looked over at you, wondering what Adam meant by that. You licked your lips, thinking they must have given him a description that wasn’t so nice to make sure the fight was even as possible. “Now, where the hell is Zachariah?!”

“Hot damn. Those sons of bitches did it.” You muttered underneath your breath. You found yourself lost in your own personal thoughts of what was going on here. All though for you it was some kind of miracle, the boys didn’t think so from what they heard you say. You looked over to see they were rather confused as to why you were so happy. “Oh. By the way...Did I forget to mention? The Devil and I had a nice, long talk. And I'm his new vessel."

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