#so much to do....... at least i'll have saturday off to rest up a bit before the 4 days of continuous work

[robinsnest2111]

now why did I have a bad dream about accidently joining in on a gang of guys cracking the back of some kinda atm or other some such thing and letting me take all the money?..?

and all I was worrying about while stuffing the cash into my pockets and backpack was if the local police force still kept my teeny tiny child finger prints (I demanded they take and they humoured me) when my family home got broken into back then, and my parents took me to the police station with them to get their finger prints (to differentiate between them and the burglar(s)' finger prints) and statements taken, and if they'd be able to identify me off of that alone. because I was stupid and didn't wear any gloves. because I so suddenly joined that operation.

ugh dreams are so stupid. woke up with a racing heart either way.

[datesinredink]

Ranking the yandere rottmnt boys by how likely they are to kidnap their darling

Just a little crumb to keep myself from losing my mind while staring at google docs this late at night. Sorry if this is super bad, it's way later at night than I'm used to staying up and election night stressed me the hell out.

Donnie.

I have absolutely no doubts that he's going to at least try very very hard to kidnap you. And honestly, I doubt it would be too hard. He's a highly trained, mystic wielding, tech inventing, mutant ninja turtle. And on top of that, he's very fond of planning absolutely everything. And to finish it all off, I think it would be once in a blue moon that he actually treats his darling as an equal. He already thinks he's better than almost everyone, and when he gets obsessed, he has to make himself feel better about it somehow, so he decides to cope by thinking you need him instead of it being the other way around. As a result, he treats you a bit like a very glorified songbird, and songbirds.. well, aren't they usually put in cages anyway? You won't even care after a week or two of adjustment! (He will get upset if you aren't content with being kidnapped by then, by the way.)

2. Raph

The only reason Raph is behind Donnie on this list is because I think he would take longer to justify it to himself. He thinks you're fragile, that you need to be protected from the harsh world! I mean, he barely trusts his youngest brother, who is also a highly trained ninja, to do a simple mission on his own. How do you think he'll treat you after the obsession sets in properly? Not really as an equal, I'll tell you that. He's much nicer to you than Donnie would be, but he still doesn't respect you enough to let you handle yourself, even if that's not how he sees his behavior. At the same time though... isn't he supposed to be a hero? Do heroes kidnap their darlings? Or would this make him the dragon... In the end though, he'll decide that he's fine with being the dragon so long as he knows that the rest of the world won't be able to run their metaphorical (or maybe literal, depending on how unpopular you are in the area) pitchforks right through your heart.

3. Mikey

Mikey wouldn't just.. outright kidnap his darling, I think. I think it would start with a fun sleepover at the lair! Then he insists you stay just one more day! You're having so much fun, after all! Don't you wanna hang out with your best friend for a while longer? You agree, of course- him and his brothers have been nothing but nice to you ever since you met them, and their company is always a delight, so it's worth a shot, isn't it? Then suddenly, the weekend is over, and school's ready to chew you up again, so you do leave. Then it's finally the weekend again! You've heard of a fun game from your school friends, so you plan on trying it when you get home this afternoon- it's friday, after all- when you get a text from Mikey in the group chat with his brothers. He wants you to come over again- and, of course, you say "sure". Not like you can't just play the game on sunday, or when you go home saturday. The sleepover flies by, but you're a bit weary by the time you're pretty sure you're supposed to go home- but here's Mikey, and he's so sure that you promised you'd stay at the lair until sunday again! So, you give in. There's always next weekend, right...? I think you get the pattern, but eventually, he'll be keeping you at the lair 24/7, and you'll be rubbing at your weary eyes wondering how you got into this mess. Sometimes you can even see his brothers shoot you worried looks.

4. Leo

Leo would only kidnap his darling as a last resort, and I think it's because of two reasons. One, he's the brother who sees you closest to being an equal (Donnie and Raph constantly go against your personal autonomy and Mikey puts you on an extremely restricting pedestal), though to be fair, that's not a high bar to pass- and two he much prefers to have some sort of interesting conflict to be present because he finds it entertaining. His life is a weird, morally incorrect soap opera at this point, and he's the number one viewer. Kidnapping would only really happen with him if he thought you were either seriously leaving him (moving or getting into a serious relationship with someone else) or if the circumstances around him got too stressful and he needed something to cling to for any semblance of support outside his brothers (who, at that point, would probably also be super stressed). Think post movie, when the city is still recovering. Man, he was probably freaking out thinking that you might've died to the kraang.

[soaps-mohawk]

So...

I've been doing some thinking about a couple of things.

This blog has grown considerably, even from its start and I appreciate each and every one of you so much. Your support never ceases to amaze me and I owe all of you a lot for giving me something to focus on this year instead of spiraling into insanity.

But

Things have gotten a tad bit overwhelming recently between trying to run the blog and trying to write. I find myself either having to ignore the blog to get writing done, or sacrifice writing time and energy to spend time on the blog and keep up with all the replies/reblogs/asks etc. Definitely not complaining, you all never cease to amaze me.

But, I am just one person and my brain only has so much power right now. So, I'm planning to take some (more) time off each week right now while I focus on writing and planning since we're getting into some serious plot stuff soon. So I'm planning to be on the blog three days a week for a while: Saturday, Sunday, and Thursday. That gives me some time to get some writing done as well as some time to rest my brain.

Saturday and Sunday of course to post the chapter and respond to replies and reblogs so I don't get super behind. Monday I'll have some asks queued up as well as maybe a few reblogs. I'll still use the queue Tuesday and Wednesday for reblogs/asks with spoilers as usual. Thursday I'll be on the blog answering asks from Monday - Wednesday as well as things I get that day. I'll queue up a few things for Friday since that day gives me a little break between to prepare for the weekend and posting the chapter.

I'll probably add more days as time goes on. You can still send in asks on the days I'm gone, but just know I won't see them or respond to them until later in the week. I already get behind by a couple days on asks anyway so that's not much of a change.

Don't feel bad for sending them either, I love getting all these asks, I just tend to get behind on days I spend more time writing.

The second order of business

has to do with my taglist. Most of you probably haven't noticed (which I don't blame you lol) but my taglist has gotten very big. Very, very big. It's just over 230 people right now, and I'm sure there will be others asking to join. It's quite time consuming to do all of these tags for every chapter (especially since we can't tag in blocks anymore) so I've been doing some thinking into how I can make it easier for me, and for you.

I know there's at least one blog I've heard of, though I'm sure there's more, that have made side blogs that they have people follow and turn on notifications for and just make a post on that blog when they post a chapter or fic, etc. I've been considering doing that since the taglist is a lot of work and time.

I've also seen blogs that have side blogs that just post chapters/fics and nothing else. I know quite a few of you only follow for the fic, so if anyone is interested, I could put together a side blog like that as well that you can follow and get notifications from instead of having to follow this blog and having to go through the probably 100 posts that I make a day 😂 (at least it feels that way for me)

Having a separate blog for the taglist too would allow me to schedule posts so I can have them come out a bit earlier than I get up for those of you across the world who stay up to read and have to wait for me to post in the morning when I get up (or later like today because I slept in). Of course Ao3 will get posted later because I can't schedule posts there, but at least for Tumblr I can have things post earlier.

So let me know what you think about the taglist side blog and the possible just chapters/fics side blog. Feel free to send in asks (anonymously or not) with your opinion. I might not answer them all (not tonight because my brain is fried and honestly i'm not sure if this is even comprehensible English) but I will at least use them to make the decision (or make a post with all of them and answer it as just one).

[beanarie]

this was inspired by chatter in the tag earlier in the week about tommy not having the reflex to ask for help, not having an emergency contact, etc. bucktommy nation, i'm loving it here.

more a request than a proposal

Wednesday afternoon, as the 118 drove back from a small grease fire, Buck received a text from Tommy.

gonna need a raincheck on hiking Saturday

He kept his expression neutral so his friends wouldn't notice and start giving him a hard time. No problem. Everything okay?

yeah of course. brunch instead? I'll order in

He spent the rest of the week telling himself there was probably nothing wrong.

Saturday, at the agreed upon time, Buck showed up at Tommy's door, looked down at the boot Tommy was wearing, and felt a burst of something ugly which he instantly tried to squash. At least he wasn't getting dumped. "Uh, hey. What happened there?"

Tommy rolled his eyes at himself. "I broke my foot a few days ago."

"What?"

"Yeah, Tuesday night. I'd just maxed out my flight hours and-" He cocked his head. "Why is your face doing that?"

Buck walked away, got in his car, and sat there as Tommy stopped blinking in confusion and went back inside.

Ten seconds later, Buck was ringing the bell again.

Tommy didn't raise an eyebrow, but the muscle twitched like he'd considered it. "I'd ask if you left something behind, but you didn't actually get through the door."

"I was off on Tuesday," Buck said.

"Okay?"

"You knew that. We compared both our schedules for the week. That was how we settled on Saturday."

"I recall." Tommy grimaced. "Look, can we go inside? Standing is not my favorite right now."

"Oh!" Shit. "Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Following close behind as Tommy settled on the couch, Buck grabbed a throw pillow for his foot to seem marginally less useless. Now inside, surrounded by all things Tommy, he felt decidedly off-kilter. "Do you... want me here?"

"I thought I did," Tommy said, laying his head against the arm of the couch with a tired sigh. "Go on, tell me what your problem is."

From there, Buck could see the kitchen table laden with takeout containers and a pitcher of orange juice. "Food's getting cold," he pointed out.

"I didn't have much appetite anyway. The food was my clever way of luring you here." He smiled at that, a little, rueful one.

Buck wanted to smile back. He wanted to say Tommy was the only lure he needed. "How did you get home from the ER?"

"I mean, my crew still had more than half a 24 to go, so." He lifted his phone and shook it a bit.

"Uber," Buck said, wanting to break something.

Tommy melted more against the couch as the penny dropped. "Evan, we've been dating three months. I didn't want you to feel obligated."

"It's been a big three months," Buck said.

"Yeah." Tommy gave another little smile. "Sinking ships and runaway grooms and drug cartels, oh my."

"You showed up for me on multiple occasions in that time." The only other options for seating were too far away. Buck knelt on the carpet near the couch.

"You look like you're proposing." Tommy snorted, then looked mildly alarmed. "Take out a ring right now and I'll scream."

"Shut up," he said with a quiet laugh. Tentatively, he reached for Tommy's hand, and smiled as Tommy let their fingers tangle together. "Sorry for being weird. It's just, I like you a lot."

"Ditto," Tommy said, rolling his wrist a few degrees, watching their hands with a strange light in his eyes.

"It hasn't sucked, right? Being my next call after my family when something happens."

"No." Tommy looked thoughtful. His thumb rubbed the back of Buck's hand. "Sucked is not the word I'd use."

"You've been in pain this whole time and I had no idea. I hate that."

The second sigh was more weary than the first. "Evan, it's okay. I'm-"

"If you want me to- to go, I will." They were still so new. Buck couldn't insist on anything, he could only offer. "I know you can take care of yourself. You don't have to, though. Not all the time."

Tommy tugged on their hands, pulling Buck closer. "Stay."

[lesbianpepsi]

Fuck it I love you | part III

pairing: sam carpenter x fem!reader

summary: when paired with Tara Carpenter for a project you were expecting a B or maybe even an A. Not falling in love with Tara's older sister, Sam

series masterlist

words: 1.642k

warnings: bad writing

authors note: a short one but next chap will be much longer :)

You let out a shaky sigh as you grab yet another tissue soaking in the tears rolling down your cheeks at an alarming rate.

Your heart feels as if it was cracking at the borderline cruel words that were said; the word 'why?' in your mind the entire time.

A ring from your phone distracted you from your heart momentarily, sniffling as you grabbed it and answered the phone.

"Hey Y/n, did I leave my watch on the coffee table?" Melanie asks you in a rushed voice as your eyes glanced over the coffee table to see the watch that Melanie owns.

"Yeah it's here." You croak out in a broken voice making Melanie's eyes widen dramatically.

"Y/n? What's wrong? I'll leave this party right now if you need me." She says seriously in a more hushed tone.

You shake your head as a watery chuckle escapes your lips. "No, no it's fine, stay." You insisted as your eyes glanced at the TV screen.

"Why're you crying?" Melanie asks you worriedly, fearing the absolute worst possible thing has happened to you. 

And it has. The fucking worst thing.

"I just finished Fleabag again." You inform her as more tears started swarming in instantly at the mention of the show.

Melanie groans loudly. "Fucking hell, Y/n, I thought something actually happened!" 

"Something has happened, Melanie. He told her 'it'll pass' that it'll fucking pass!" You sob again as you grab more tissues, your heart cracking even more at the still raw memory.

"You've watched that show so many times how the fuck does the ending still make you cry?" She asks you with a laugh now clearly finding your heart break hilarious.

"She said 'I love you' and he said 'it'll pass.' before saying he loves her too! How could I not cry?" You defended not finding your heartbreak over a TV show humour. 

She laughs again. "You and your shows. Chads coming over with shots, I'm off. Toodles."

"Toodles." You sniffle making her let out another laugh before hanging up the call.

You glance at your phone and roll your eyes at the low battery. Typical. 

Yeah, it's a Saturday night and here you are, alone in your apartment finishing Fleabag and experiencing the heartbreak that hurts just as much as it did the first time. 

Some might say depressing, you say it's the way to live.

With an exaggerated sigh you turn the TV off with the small remote before standing up, heading towards your bedroom to charge your phone.

You reach your desk where the plug is at but frown when you don't see that your charger isn't plugged in.

Where else can it be-

Fuck sakes you forgot it Tara's apartment.

Groaning you grab your phone which only has 3% and shoot the girl a quick message.

Me (20:47pm): hey tar, is it cool if i come over quickly? i forgot my charger there 🙄🙄

Tara🙃 (20:52pm): yeah ofc but-

Before you can see the rest of the text message your phone shuts off to a completely blank screen.

With an annoyed huff you stuff your phone into the pocket of your joggers and go to look for your shoes near the front of the apartment.

At least you saw the permission text you think as you shove your feet into your dirty, broken trainers that you refuse to throw out since shoes are so expensive. 

The walk to Carpenter's apartment is only twenty minutes and since the sun hasn't fully set outside you decide a walk won't do any harm. 

You're a bit annoyed that you can't listen to any music on the walk so you decide to do the second best thing, think about Sam.

She's just so gorgeous and so sweet with her friends and Tara, how could anyone not constantly think about her?

You've seen Sam a handful of times since the gym, all of them being at their apartment as you and Tara worked on your project. 

Tara and you have actually gotten through most of the project so unfortunately you only need to head over there around three more times till the two of you have completed the project. 

You can't help but feel relieved to be able to actually finish a project in time before the due date, but there's also a deep pit of disappointment lingering in you too. 

What if you never see Sam again after it? There'll be no excuses to come over there anymore unless Tara would invite you over. 

Wow, that quickly spiralled into just not happy Sam thoughts. 

Thankfully you stop yourself from thinking the worst case scenarios as you've arrived at the apartment complex.

Like routine you head up the stupidly long stairs since the elevator is still broken and after what feels like an eternity you reach their floor.

Knocking on the door three times you patiently wait for Tara to come open the door for you but to your joy it's Sam, looking as annoyed as ever; your heart swoons at the sight.

"What." She grumbled as her eyes travel you up and down, furrowing her brows at your shirt. "What the fuck is your shirt?" She questions before you even get a chance to answer her first question.

You look down at your shirt and giggle not remembering what shirt you're wearing. It's a yellow shirt with a pineapple in the middle wearing a pink thong, under it is the simple word 'Slut'. A shirt you got after your third re-watch of Brooklyn Nine Nine.

"It's from a show, you don't like it? It's actually really soft." You tell her with a smile instinctively feeling your waist to feel the soft texture. "Seriously, for around fifteen dollars and free packing this was a bargain." 

Sam hums as she stares at your shirt questioningly before raising her eyes to meet with yours. "And you decided to wear a shirt saying 'slut' in public?"

You nod your head proudly. "Why wouldn't I?"

"People will clearly judge you. Stare." Sam answers speedily as if she already knew what she was going to say.

You shrug your shoulders, a weak laugh escaping your lips. "People who are complete strangers? People who I'll never see again?" You say with a soft smile. "People will always judge, it's our instinct to judge whatever we come across. But you can't let that control your life and stop you from being you; stop that from letting you wear what you want or even like what you like. At the end of the day they're people who I'll never see again."

Sam doesn't say anything for a moment as if she's digesting your words, her eyes never leaving yours for a second. You don't say anything as you gaze back into Sam's cold eyes lovingly.

She leans against the doorframe as she runs a hand through her hair. "Why're you here, Y/n? Tara's not even in." 

Your eyes widen as you mentally groan, that was probably the rest of the text message she sent but you couldn't see. 

"Shit I'm sorry I didn't know. I sent Tar a message asking if I can come over to get my charger but when she texted back I only saw part of the message of her saying I can come over before my phone died." 

Sam sighs as she nods her head weakly stepping back into her apartment as she walks over to her couch, you take this as her letting you to which you do ever so gracefully, shutting the door behind you.

Your eyes avert to Sam's figure sitting on the couch as her back faces you with the TV playing on a low volume, one of your favourite movies playing on the screen.

"I love Little Miss Sunshine." You express with a smile walking towards Sam, resting your hands on top of the couch as you stare at the screen. "It absolutely changed my life, and the first movie I actually loved. Like fully loved." 

"It's okay." Sam says with a small smile on her lips as she watches the movie from below you. "I hated it in the beginning but I guess it's sorta growing on me." 

"There's a thin line between love and hate." You express your attention only focused on the movie playing on the screen.

Sam tilts her head up as she gazes at your side profile. "I wouldn't say I love it but I definitely like it."

You chuckle at her words, your eyes lighting up in the reflection of the movie that Sam couldn't help but focus on.

"It's growing, right? Give it time and you'll love it like there's no tomorrow." Sam hums very swallowing her eyes and focuses no longer on the movie.

"Did you love it right from the start?" She asks you. Finally you look away from the screen to look into her eyes, a gentle smile grazing your lips.

"Pretty much. You'll love it soon too, I bet you will." You tell her, thinking you're still talking about the movie. 

But Sam isn't, Sam isn't thinking of the movie at all.

"But I still don't like some parts of it or even understand it, how're you so sure I'll love it?" Sam tries again, blinking slowly.

You shrug your shoulders before moving around the couch to sit next to her, your thighs touching as you smile at her.

"Give it a chance, this is your first time watching it right?" Sam nods her head. "Then give it a chance, you might surprise yourself and actually really like it in the end."

"Go on a date with me." Sam abruptly asks, barely giving you time to finish your sentence. Her eyes gazed into yours as a small smile nervously appeared on her lips.

Holy fucking shit. 

[crsssie]

oops... i got married || TO MY COLLEGE PROF???

word count: 2.6k || Fic 1 of oops... i got married

summary: There is no way you just woke up married to your college prof. God. At least he's hot?

You get married as a joke.

Yes, there are limits to how much you can drink. Yes, there are limits to how insane you can get while drunk— but apparently getting married is not within that limit. You get married to some random guy— NOT SOME RANDOM GUY. YOU GET MARRIED TO YOUR COLLEGE PROFESSOR. You wake up to a legally signed marriage document and your college professor in your kitchen, and you blink at the red booklet in your hands and then at your professor at the door.

"You're going to be late for class."

"Oh. My. God." You hold your head as a headache splits you open. "that hurts."

Cael steps next to you, bowl of soup in his hand, and you blink at him.

"Oh my god."

"You've say that once already." He mumbles, holding the spoon to your lips after he blows on it. "Drink up."

You open your mouth to drink, still blinking in mild confusion when you finish the soup, brain only processing then whether or not you have clothes on. You touch yourself, sighing in relief when you notice that it's just a change of pajamas. It would be the end of the world... or, well, it wouldn't. You suppose there are worse situations than getting married to your hot professor... wait. Should there be an age gap tag on this?!

You take Cael's hand as he helps you up, and he blinks at you, tilting his head.

"Come on. You have class."

"Isn't it Saturday?"

"It's Monday."

"Don't we get Monday off?"

"That was last Monday." 

You scream, blinking at the clock, taking your clothes from Cael's hand (you have no idea when he got the clothes) and change, rushing out of the house as Cael locks the door behind you, following behind you as you rush through the college gates. Cael nods at the security guard— something that the two of you live in a pattern of regardless of whether or not you're married. You find it strange. Yes, you would not have asked Cael to marry you while sober, but it's also questionable. You wonder in what universe you fall for a man several times your age and ask him to marry you while plastered.

"So? Did you do anything after last night?" William brushes up next to you, peeking over your shoulder at you. "I saw someone bring you home. Lowkey, he was kind of hot. His hair was up and everything."

"Yeah." You pause. For the plot? For the plot. "I got married to him."

"WHAT." William screams, and the professor raises a brow in annoyance at him, making him sink back into his seat. "You got married to some random man!?"

"Yeah..." You avert your gaze. "I'll tell you in a bit. Let me take notes—"

"You never take notes!" William gasps. "No fucking way."

"Someone's going to beat my ass if I go home without any notes again." You avoid Cael's gaze from the front of the lecture hall, and go back to clicking on your laptop. "you know?"

"Oh my god." William blinks. "Please tell me I did not just put two and two together. Is this your only lecture of the day? Are you going home with your husband later?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." You avoid the topic, choosing to ignore William for the rest of the lecture, and bolting for the door as soon as class is dismissed. William yells at you for being a coward and to face him, and you rest by the car as you wait for Cael to return. You sit in the car, resting your head on the wheel with a groan as you click through your phone. At some point, you grow tired, eyes growing heavy as you decide to doze off. You wonder where Cael is... you have a feeling that he's going to get here the second you knock out. You blink slowly, and then stare at Cael's face leaning over the door of your car.

You roll the window down after jumping in your skin.

"Why didn't you knock?!" You panic, eyes wide as you let Cael into the car. "What if you got caught?!"

"Caught by who? My fanclub?" He holds up a bag with drinks in it, humming. "Come on. I'll heat up the milk tea for you when we get home. Don't even think about touching it while it's cold."

"It's not cold!" You gape in faux offense. "I can drink it! Who did you even get it from?"

"My fanclub." He hums, pulling a drink out and stabbing a straw through it. "Drink up."

You take it from his hand as he secures his seatbelt, starting the car as you pause. "So... are we going to talk about being legally married?"

"We can talk about that at home." Cael hums. "Want me to drive?"

"No. It's my car." You grumble, driving out the parking lot as you wait to merge onto the street. "What exactly happened?"

"You got plastered and somehow managed to convince me to sign the marriage certificate you were holding up." Cael pauses. "I was also partially drunk."

"You drank? Who drove us home?"

"We rode the subway."

"Damn." You mumble. "That's crazy. I can't believe you said yes. I would've expected you to say no."

"Well..."

"..." You pause, slowing down at the red light. "drunk man words are sober man thoughts."

"Don't say that to me."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You're in love with me."

Cael chooses to stay quiet, and you reach over to grab his thigh, laughing as you step on the gas.

"My husband is in love with me!!!" You laugh, squeezing him affectionately as you continue to drive. "Does that mean you won't get divorced with me?"

There's a considerable silence before he speaks up. "Did you think I was going to divorce you?" 

"Maybe." You mumble. "Just a little."

"I wouldn't have agreed had I not liked you to some extent." He mumbles, resting his hand on top of yours. 

"Oh." You pause, another considerable silence passing over the two of you. You blink slowly even when the two of you reach your apartment, and suddenly, it's almost as if his words have just clicked. He likes you. Your college professor likes you. Wait.

"There's got to be some sort of questionable age gap between the two of us." You deadpan.

Cael raises a brow, and you pout. "You're in your last year."

You pause. "True... but you better have not liked me for four years. Isn't it weird to fall for a student anyway? Or did you fall for me because we're neighbors?"

"A mixture of everything." He hums, resting his forehead on yours. "If you keep talking, I may just not cook dinner."

"I can live with instant noodles."

"I can't." He pinches your skin gently. "Shall we have dinner?"

You find that being married to Cael is fun. You get to watch him grade everyone's tests and snoop through his stacks of papers and laptop to see whether or not you can find the next test's answers, and your answer is almost always the same file with a password you can never crack in time before Cael inevitably finds you trying to cheat again. You wonder why he doesn't just report you to the dean, but you don't find it in yourself to care, lips pulled into a pout as he tells you to just study. Easy for him to say.

Maybe he's so old that he just forgot that senioritis happens in college too. 

Yet, he cares in his own way, warm drink next to you as you work through the copious amount of work that you're given in your upper-division courses, head spinning and annoyed over everything. He points out mistakes in your paper, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, lashes batting slowly as he corrects your essays with a click of his tongue. You pout at him when he does, but he does not make any change in habit. As long as you get a good grade, you suppose. 

Then, your grade comes back, and you are set to graduate. 

You rush home to show Cael the grade on your phone, arms thrown around him as you beam. He runs his hand down your back affectionately, lips pressed to the temple of your head sweetly as he congratulates you. You hum, head resting on his shoulder as you hum. "I should pay you back."

"How about wearing a ring?"

"We have these." You pout at the cheap one on your finger.

"We both know I can afford to buy you a better one." He hums, playing with the ring on your finger. "Shall we go ring shopping in celebration?"

"How is that me paying you back?"

"You're paying me back by spending more time with me." He hums. "That is my request. Let us go buy a ring together."

"Is that all?" You hum.

"We can spend the rest of the day shopping too."

"Alright..." You mumble. "We should go shopping for your clothes. Your wardrobe needs a little updating."

"Yeah?"

"And don't fight me for the bill on your clothes."

"Is that how you're going to pay me back?"

"Yep." You pop the p for emphasis, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you hop off his lap. "We'll take my car so we don't need to haul shopping bags back on the subway."

"Very well."

Cael sits back and lets you pick his outfits, your thoughts put before his as you discuss with the store clerk how to make him the hottest man on campus. He wonders if you just simply don't have a single jealous bone in your body. He doesn't like it when people get too close to you. His brows furrow ever so slightly as your hand brushes the store clerk's when you take the outfit, and you furrow your brows slightly as you stare at the clothes and then at Cael.

"I don't want this color of tweed."

"What are you looking for?"

"Something like... classic. Beige. Picture beige baby but there is no baby and it's my husband." You pause. "Make him the hot guy in a trenchcoat at the campus coffee shop."

"I see the vision." The clerk gives you a thumbs up. "Just wait and see, young'in. We've got this."

You wave bye to Cael with a smile on your face, sitting in the waiting area as you scroll through your phone. You take photos and give a thumbs up and down depending on how good he looks in the clothes, and Cael finds that despite his stamina, he understands why you had looked so drained after shopping with him all those times. It's not that his body is tired— it's just that he can only wear so many outfits in such limited time.

On the last one, he opens the curtain of the dressing room, and your whole face perks up.

Ah. This one. You like this one the best.

"Shall we buy this one?" Cael raises a brow.

"I don't care if my scholarship money is going down the drain for this." You rip the tag from behind him as he crouches down slightly to help you rip it easier, and you scan and ring up the bill. He watches as you swipe your card without second thought, the vast majority of what he tried on going into bags as you carry them. Cael presses his lips to your forehead gently as a thank you, and you grin.

"Shall we get something to eat? My treat." He hums. 

"Not the rings?"

"I called my associate at another store." Cael hums. "I can take some of the bags—"

"No." You pout. "Let me."

"Well, I suppose it is a skill for you to be able to hold so many at once." He laughs. "Would you like a treat?"

"I'd like my ring." You bat your lashes at him with a grin. "I'll drive."

"Alright." He follows behind you, coat still on, hot on your trail as the two of you wait in the elevator to get down to the right level. He helps you open the trunk, and you hum happily. 

"Did you order a ring?"

"They're going to get you fitted." He hums. "And then you're going to pick a design out of all the ones I sketched out."

"Oooh..." You shut the trunk. "Romantic."

"Perhaps it would have been more romantic to actually propose with it."

"Well, we get a good story out of it." You smile at him as the two of you get in the car.  "What color is the ring going to be?"

"I've sketched it in every color you can think of."

"There is no way you did that."

He did.

You stare at the samples and then at the sketches Cael provided, and you blink slowly at your husband. 

"You pick."

The clerk gapes as Cael picks up the rings and tries them on you one at a time. He would get you all of them, but you would complain that it's a waste of his money. Though, he wouldn't really be spending much. He wonders when the next cheque for displaying his works is going to come in. That should be more than enough to cover the costs of the rings.

"Why not all?"

"I'm not comfortable with spending all of that money yet." You deadpan.

"Better get used to it." He hums. "These three."

You stare at the designs he picked, and he hums. "Turn these two into earrings instead."

"A pair or one of each?"

Cael glances at you, lips quirking up at the sight of your dropped jaw.

"One of each?" You blink at him in confusion. "One of each. Mix and match sounds fun."

Cael nods as the store clerk punches in the order. "Anything else you would like, sir?"

Cael shakes his head. 

"Wait, how about your wedding ring?"

"Oh, they have their counterparts." Cael flips the paper over, and your jaw drops. 

"Double the price?"

"Don't worry about it." He hums, tapping his card on the machine and covering your eyes.

"Oh, hey." You hum. "You finally figured out how to use a credit card?"

"Debit." He hums. "I had an account because they were paying me, but I just never applied for a card."

"Oh." You pause. "YOU'RE USING A DEBIT CARD?! HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU EVEN HAVE?!"

"How old am I?"

You shut up after that.

Not arguing with a man who's older than the existence of the planet you're on. (a joke, really. He's only a decade or two older than you. Though, he definitely doesn't look it.) So, you stare at the ring on your ears in the mirror two weeks later, Cael's matching one on his pierced ear, leaning behind you, chest pressed to your back as he stares at the earring on your ear.

"Looks nice."

"Yeah?" Your neck creeps with warmth, and he presses his lips to your ear gently, standing straight again as the clerk hands him the bag with the earrings.

"Shall we get going, beloved?"

Your hand shakes as you take his, and you try and calm your racing heart.

Oh, god. This might've been the best decision you've ever made while drunk. ever.

[theclaravoyant]

property lovers (buddietommy, 911)

AN ~ for @rarepairs-of-911 Rarepair Bingo!

**contains 8x09 spoilers**

hurt/comfort/fluff inspired by the events of 8x09, but with established buddietommy, ft. big heart buck and fandom certified fixer upper hobbyist tommy!

prompt: “surprise visit” Eddie x Buck x Tommy

masterpost read on AO3 (~1000wd)

property lovers

“Hey, I am totally handy,” Eddie claims defensively – then, as if on cue, the sink opens up and spits all over him and his phone and he disappears in a jumble for a minute.

“He said handy, not handsy," Buck pipes in. He can just imagine the glare Eddie would give him if they were in the same room right now, and he chuckles to himself.

“You didn't tell me the both of you were idiots,” Tommy faux-grumbles. “Did he even get it inspected before he dropped his life savings?”

“I don't know,” Buck confesses. “Didn't ask – I was too busy...”

“Being totally cool and chill, and expressing your feelings in a calm and healthy way?”

“Exactly.”

Tommy scoffs. Eddie recovers his phone.

“There. I think I got it.” He runs the tap, and it runs properly. No funny colours, or sputtering, or squealing, or anything. He smiles.

“There you go!” Tommy cheers, but as Eddie looks around his new house his expression droops. There's rats in the roof, the flooring is vinyl – and is peeling - everywhere he looks he finds a new problem. He's long since had a particular loathing for the phrase putting out fires but.... well.

“What have you got on for the rest of the day?” Tommy asks, pulling Eddie back to the present. He and Buck are squished up into each other on the couch – his old couch - and he has an arm draped around him, drawing little patterns at Buck's hip absently. God, Eddie misses that. He hasn't been so much as shoulder-bumped in weeks. “We can stick around if you want.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, shakes his head clear of panic, clear of pining. There actually is some good news, though.

“Don't worry about it,” he offers. “I've got a job interview. Paramedic Trainee with EPFD. I actually am kind of excited - I'm hoping I can certify, you know. Make it official.”

“That's great, Eddie!” Buck wishes he could reach through the screen and kiss him. Turns out, since Eddie had resigned rather than transferring, the paperwork has been a bit of a mess, so he's been stuck in his old life, ten years ago, working himself into the ground with delivery driving and odd jobs. He's never been afraid to keep his nose to the grindstone – that perseverance is something Buck's always admired about him - but it makes Buck's heart want to sing that there's a little smile on his face at the thought of doing something meaningful again.

Tommy squeezes Buck's waist, and pulls him closer in excitement, in solidarity. It's something, at least, since they can't do the same for Eddie.

“We'll call back tonight,” he insists. “Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it.” Then, with a glance down at his shirt - ”Shit, I should go.”

“Love you,” they remind him.

“Mwah,” he says.

The screen goes dark, Eddie already in the middle of running off to get ready. For a moment, Buck and Tommy sit in the bittersweetness of it.

“Poor kid. I want to squeeze him out like a little stress-chamois,” Tommy muses.

“I want to send Helena dog poop.” Buck pouts, and gestures sarcastically. “Apparently it's 'illegal.'”

“When's he seeing Chris next?”

“Saturday. He was hoping to have him around I think, but then there was the whole mould situation...” Buck trails off, watching the gears turn in Tommy's head.

Tommy taps frantically through his phone, checking his roster, his calendar, asking in the group chat. He pulls up a couple El Paso hardware places. And Skyscanner. Buck smiles – hesitant at first, then it widens as Tommy concludes:

“I think we can pull it off. Just a few days, but it's better than a poke in the eye. What do you say?”

Buck plants a kiss on him, heart racing. He jumps out of his seat, phone already in hand.

“Pack a bag. I'll call Bobby.”

-

So it is that approximately six hours later, they pull up outside Eddie's new house in a rented truck laden with a hefty toolbox, a sander, rolls of vinyl, bags of mulch – as much as he had mentioned that they could carry, and anything else they could think of besides. The sun is just starting to go down, and honestly, the place doesn't look half bad in this light.

Tommy can almost imagine the four of them playing basketball in the driveway. Or, well, maybe him and Eddie and Chris playing, while Evan makes dinner, or makes something out of this promising skeleton of a garden. They'd have a dog. Or a cat – watching over them from the eaves. Maybe both. Maybe they could build a life here after all; a future, not just a past.

For now, they've got five days, six hands and a dream.

“Ready?” Evan checks, and holds up his tablet. He dials, and sure enough, Eddie's face pops up almost immediately.

“Thank God you guys are here,” he greets; beaming, his free hand flying. “They. LOVED me. Bobby must have talked their ears off or something because I walked out of there with the position. They're being so generous with the certification stuff as well, they mentioned I might even be able to skip a couple units and graduate faster and –“

“We should go out for dinner and celebrate!” Buck declares. Tommy asks, with a wink in his voice -

“Eddie, you buying?”

Eddie laughs, and moves to object, but his eyes start to catch up with his busy, busy brain. They're really suggesting they go out for dinner. Not alone. Not over the phone. He recognises that curb and that frontage sticking out from behind the two of them. He recognises that Tuscan Orange driveway curving up toward the unfamiliar truck. He – They –

Wait.

He lunges for the front door, and even still he can hardly believe his eyes when they're really there. In the flesh, in three dimensions, on his doorstep. Today's been a roller-coaster and a half, and the overwhelm sticks in his throat. Buck's eyes shine with fondness. Tommy smiles, and waves an arm back at the truck full of – full of Clorox and rat baits and plants and new tea-towels and -

He grabs onto the side of the utility bed, just in case his knees decide to give out on him.

“Thought you could use a hand."

Eddie throws his arms around Buck first, and Tommy wraps around him in turn, until he can hardly breathe.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

[stuft]

just a boring brain dump while I rest

Well it's very nice out and not so fucken wimdy as it has been so I decided to get started on yard work. Which, at the end of April is A Lot. The grass is high enough that I'll have to use a weed whacker. Everything else is just growing, especially the viney weeds, the Rose of Sharon which multiplies like wet gremlins every year, and the Actual Plants. I kind of did a little bit everywhere, I had to cut stuff back to get to the back of the property and I need to get that taken care of because it won't be long before I will once again not be able to get back there due to overgrowth. Though, this year, I have more time on my hands because I also told my boss I am not doing any of the live-in dog sits she had requests for. I sure could use the money but it's not enough to warrant the distraction, really, and if I keep at it I will sell a bunch of my stuff and have a little bit of income after all. So I cut back some stuff and raked up part of it and put it in a trash can. I also came across the bags of compost and peat I had bought a few years back after i'd read Square Foot Gardening and had convinced myself that this time I could and would start and maintain a garden, for reals this time. So, convinced once again I could make a better go of it this year with seeds I purchased 3 or 5 weeks ago that should have been started indoors before I'd even returned from Germany but instead were still sitting in their packets on the table, I decided to fill up the standing planter I'd assembled last year, after sitting in my basement for 3-10 years and had tried unsuccessfully to grow something or other in there. Kale, I think. actually I think it grew but stopped when it was still small and then just keeled over or kaled over, as it were. I forget. I'd blocked off 2/3 or the planter with bricks and filled a third with the small amount of dirt that I had. Because I didn't feel like hauling sacks of dirt from my car to the back yard. So this time I used the peat moss and the compost from the garage. The compost bag had one of those perforated tops and had busted open and some mice had made a home in there with some pink insulation stuff? idfk. Maybe they lived in and ate the compost? idk but the meeces were long gone. Still, what a pain picking little tufts of old insulation out of there. It's probably toxic and since I put it in with my plants I will probably grow mutant veggies and I'll grow a tail on my forehead or something. who even cares at this point bc groceries are so expensive. Anyway I had also bought some marigolds bc they are bug deterrents and are good to plant with vegetables, so I put them in there first. I suppose I could start some seeds indoors and plant them when they're newly sprouted, idk. I'll read the packets. I actually have another cedar planter I can assemble but I don't have much dirt.

Anyway I got hot and thirsty and tired so here I am in my chair with a heating pad on my lower back typing out all this exciting shit no one is going to bother reading. But seriously it's either this or a screed about Saturday night which actually would be more interesting but I do like my friend and there is always the odd chance she pops in here and I should let bygones be bygones because she will be gone soon and I am sad for her. (it's a visa thing)

So I am just going to have to keep chipping away at the outside stuff, which is tiring and annoying and sneezy work but at least it's outdoor physical work. I also of course have a shit ton of indoor work I also have to chip away at when I'm not outside. Including my kitchen which is just a neverending mess! I clean it up so I can make a meal and then it's dirty again and and and I just can't get it to a manageable place. But I really need to make some decent food today or tomorrow. OH and I cut some dandelion leaves from the yard. Since I have no dog and I don't use weed killer, and it's in my back yard, they should be fine. I washed them. Hey, free food. Americans are unhinged about lawn maintenance. they put all these chemicals on their grass and get rid of all the 'weeds' which, some of them, like dandelions and purslane, are great in salads. You can also eat dandelion flowers, though I never have. Anyway. Just trying to see if I can get some free or almost free food in my back yard.

The sad thing is that I like gardening, though I am not knowledgeable, but when I was young and interested, I didn't have the time to dedicate to it, and now that I do have the time, I am old and decrepit and don't have the experience to make much of anything happen for sure or the wherewithal to learn or try very hard. Because that's just one part of my garden, the rest, for as small as my yard is, is a lot of maintenance (again I refuse to use round up or weedkiller beyond some vinegar in places and I do have a lot of native plants mixed in that makes it tricky).

anyway, this has been a post.

[dragonydreams]

No Crisis, Only Calm (Redux) - Buck & May

Title: No Crisis, Only Calm (Redux) Fandom: 9-1-1 Rating: General Audience Pairings/Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant Tags: mentions Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Coming Out, TV show recs, pseudo sibling bonding Summary: May shares with Buck the magic of Heartstopper after Buck tells her about his date with Tommy. Timeline: post 7x05 Word Count: 1,633 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Reamworks, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision, Ryan Murphy Television, and 20th Century Fox Television. Betas: Thank you to @medieshanachie for looking this over for me. Author's Note: This idea popped into my head after seeing an article about Heartstopper S3.

Author's Note 2: I wasn't satisfied with the first version of this story so I reformatted it and expanded it. I'm much happier with this now and hope you enjoy it too.

Read on AO3

Are you on shift?

The text popped up on Buck's phone and he couldn't help smiling at it. He didn't hear from May as much since she'd started college, but she has been checking in more since the lightning.

Not today, Buck responded. What's up?

His phone lit up with May's face as he was alerted that he had an incoming video call. He immediately accepted. 

"Why were you being weird Saturday night?" May asked before he could even say hello.

Buck did a wonderful impression of a fish as he stared wide-eyed at May. He nervously licked his lips before he asked, "What do you know about Saturday night?"

"Eddie texted me to ask if I knew why you were acting weird."

"Why would he ask you that?"

"That's what I said!" May exclaimed. 

"And it took you a week to follow up with me?"

May rolled her eyes. "I had classes.  And study groups. And homework. So much homework."

"Well, Eddie and I have talked since then and he now knows why I was acting weird," Buck said, hoping to end this conversation. It wasn't that he didn't want May to know about Tommy. He actually kinda wanted to shout from the roof to tell everyone about him.

"...and?" she prompted. 

Buck took a moment to decide if he wanted to tell her. He hadn't told Bobby yet, but he could trust May not to gossip. If he asked her not to, at least.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before answering. "When I saw Eddie, I was on a date. With a man. But I was caught off guard and reacted badly."

"Since when do you date men?" May asked. 

"Since Saturday," Buck said, wincing slightly.

"OMG, was he your bi-awakening?" May squealed, excitedly.

"I suppose you could call it that," Buck admitted. "He kissed me the Thursday before our date and it felt like the whole world came into focus." He could feel himself grinning like an idiot as he remembered the kiss.

"How far down the research hole did you fall after?" 

"Not very, if you can believe it."

"I'm having trouble believing that," May teased.

"I know, it's very not me. Then again, so is being into men." He paused to think about what he'd just said. "Although, I guess that is me, now."

While he'd been speaking, May was obviously looking something up on her phone. 

"In that case, go watch this," a text with a link popped up for a trailer, "and then call me back."

Buck clicked on the link after May hung up on him and watched the clip about two teenage boys in England falling for each other - one was gay and the other was bi. Apparently it was based on a graphic novel. 

As soon as Buck finished watching he called May back. "How did I not know about this?"

"Because you weren't seeking out queer YA shows?" May suggested. "But you should watch. The episodes are only like half an hour each."

"I guess I know how I'm spending the rest of my day."

Buck watched May look away briefly and bit her lip before meeting his eyes again. "Want some company while you watch?"

Buck blinked back the sudden moisture in his eyes. 

"Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"I can be there in an hour. With ice cream," she said.

"I'll be here."

"I'll see you soon," May said before ending the call.

Buck stared at the phone for a minute, moved by May's offer to share this show, which she obviously enjoyed, with him.

~~*~~

Buck was sitting at the kitchen table when there was a knock on the door 58 minutes after he'd hung up with May. Now that May was going to introduce him to this show about a bi-awakening, as she'd called it, he was curious about what else was out there. 

He'd found the expected "Could I be gay?" quizzes, but he already knew the answer to that question. He still loved women, but he was also definitely attracted to men. Which made him bisexual, or pan, but he thought bisexual was the right word for him.

He went to open the door and May was grinning at him as she held up the bag with ice cream in it. 

"You know, I don't think I've ever actually been here before," May said as Buck held the door open for her. "This is nice."

Buck blinked as he closed the door and realized that she was right. "Well then, it's about time. It's a loft so the tour will be quick. This is the kitchen, bathroom is over there," he pointed to a closed door next to the stairs, "bedroom is in the loft, and living room is this way." He led her through to the room in question.

May took the ice cream out of the bag and noticed that Buck had already set out a couple of spoons and glasses of water. The show was pulled up on the TV, just waiting for them.

As she made herself at home on the couch with one of the pints of ice cream, May said, "So, tell me more about this guy that turned your world upside down."

Buck felt his cheeks heating up as he settled next to her with the other pint. "Well, Tommy's a firefighter with Harbor. A pilot. He's actually the one that flew us to rescue your mom and Bobby."

"Hold up," May said, sitting up from her slouch and holding out her hand. "You don't mean Tommy Kinard?" 

"Uh, yeah," Buck confirmed. 

"Damn, Buckley. He's fine," May said. "I mean, he's old enough to be my dad, but damn."

Buck felt his face flush again as he couldn't help but agree. "Yeah, he is." 

"So how did you go from him helping to rescue Mom and Bobby to him kissing you?" May asked as she settled back.

"Well, uh, I guess both Eddie and I wanted to get to know Tommy better after he helped with the rescue. Those two started spending a lot of time together and I guess I got kinda jealous. Like Eddie was replacing me? But also because he was spending all this time with Tommy. Things got a little out of hand at this pickup basketball game and I got Eddie hurt. Later that night Tommy came over to tell me that he wasn't trying to come between me and Eddie and I told him that I just really wanted to get to know him better. That trying to get his attention was exhausting and then he kissed me." 

Buck took a big bit of ice cream after he finished word vomiting all over May. 

"Wow," she said. "That was a lot."

"Oh, and after making sure I was okay with the kiss he asked me out for Saturday."

"And you didn't spiral after that kiss?" May asked. "That seems like something that would cause you to spiral."

"Yeah, I was kinda surprised about that myself," Buck admitted. "But it was more like a puzzle piece finally turning the right way to fit in a hole in a larger puzzle. Everything just felt right. Settled in a way that I've never been in my life before." 

"That sounds wonderful," May said, in awe.

"It is. Of course then Eddie and Marisol showed up at the restaurant Tommy took us to on Saturday and I was so surprised that I went all dudebro and told Eddie we were just two guys hanging out and were gonna go pick up some hot chicks later."

"You. Did. Not."

"Oh, I did. Tommy was not amused and instead of going to a movie after dinner he got an Uber home by himself. Just left me in front of the restaurant."

"Can't say I really blame him," May said. 

"Neither could I. But I told Eddie and he convinced me to call Tommy. Luckily he agreed to meet me for coffee and I invited him to be my date at Maddie's wedding."

May's eyes widened. "You're bringing him as your date to your sister's wedding? Way to come out to everyone at once."

Buck shrugged. "This is who I am. It shouldn't matter if I want to bring a man as my date instead of a woman. I'm happy and that's all that should matter. If anyone has a problem with that, that's on them, not me."

"I am loving this attitude," May said. "And you're right. It doesn't matter."

"Just, uh, I haven't told Bobby yet, so for now can you not say anything? I'd rather he find out with everyone else."

"Of course. So just me and Eddie know?"

"Maddie knows, too. It was kind of an accident, but she does know. I let the pronoun slip when I was talking about my interrupted date to her."

"How'd she take the news?"

"You know Maddie, she was totally supportive. Surprised, but supportive. Eddie, too."

"And now me," May said. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"Thank you for sharing this," he gestured to the television, "with me."

"Is that your way of telling me you're talked out?" May teased.

"Yes, but I also want to see this show," Buck said.

"Then let's watch. It's been a while since I did a re-watch," May said. 

"How many times have you seen it?" Buck asked.

"A couple," May answered. "It's a really sweet story. Lots of good queer representation."

"Is this your way of trying to tell me something?" Buck tentatively asked.

"No, I just like watching all kinds of love stories, not just heterosexual ones," May said. "But thank you for asking."

"Anytime," Buck said. 

He grabbed the remote and hit play.

Link to trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrK4xPy4ahg

[jyndor]

this is for people in the rest of the world who feel like they don't know what to do to help.

fyi activism can take many forms! I work on saturdays and I have clients so I can't just cancel on them last minute for a rally that I have no way to get to, which made me feel really horrible at first but then I remembered that I have clients! I have clients who value what I say and respect my opinions and want to hear what I think about things, and who ask me about various political shit all the time because I've learned how to talk about shit with people throughout my life in a way that doesn't turn them off. I've spent a lot of time educating clients on palestine (when appropriate ofc because I'm not trying to get into a shouting match with someone while I'm waxing their butthole). I know a lot of people in local politics who are so amazing and do so much more than I could ever do, and have made sure they know if they need a body to be on the ground, I'll try to be there but they do in fact need to give me a fair bit of time to make plans. I can't just always be on the ground like I used to be when I was young.

is it enough? no nothing will ever be enough but that's why there's strength in numbers. someone else to fill the spot you leave. in the future I want to offer my services for fundraisers, and I wish I could go be in a march on a random saturday, but I know it takes all kinds. some people have money that they can put to bail funds and mutual/humanitarian aid. some people have access to lots of people who may not otherwise be engaged or educated on issues. some people are able to get arrested on a random saturday. others have their labor/skills: legal representation, cooking and providing water, journalism, technological logistical internet stuff, organizing, making art and literature and posters and things, etc. it takes all kinds. I want to offer up my services for fundraisers in the future because my labor is one thing I've got that I can rely on.

and not everyone is going to be an activist. I do not consider myself an activist at this time in my life, although I was one when I was younger. I will be one again in the future. allies actually do make up the difference.

btw to the people who can show up for protests and sit ins and stuff, thank you. I imagine that for every one of you, there's several of us who aren't able to make it.

I'd love to hear from you guys! how do you help out the causes you care for?

one final note: activists do in fact get burnt out. it's a normal thing that happens. what actual activists don't do is whine about activism fatigue on social media. they take the time they need to regroup and get back into the shit without a fuss. because they understand the stakes.

one thing palestinians are asking of us is that we don't act like they're already gone, like there is no hope. we need to know in our hearts that one day, palestine will be free so like... maybe don't moan about how emotionally draining it is to keep up with this on social media. it's literally the opposite of what they want from us. the least we can do is keep hope.

there's been a shift. I feel it for the first time in the 16 years since I learned about palestine as a teenager, and I'm not the only one who feels this way. keep hope and know that one day palestine will be free.

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day sixteen

Before: Since we're now about halfway through the month, let's take another look at my goals for March-

Finish No. 6 volume 3

Read 憎��しい彼

Read 独り舞 (2/3 there!)

Read at least ten volumes of manga (3/10)

Read at least an hour per day (still still on track!)

Am I at least halfway through my (tangible) goals? Uh, debatable. Either way, I think completing my goals is still completely doable!

I still have seven volumes of manga to read, so is there anything I'd like to get to this month? Yes. Too many. So let's narrow it down. I would very much like to get in at least one more volume of ベルサイユのばら (1/7), I want to start はなものがたり (2/7) but I only have one volume and I'm in the debacle of "but what if I like it so much that I need to read the rest right away?", it's not that I necessarily want to read スリーピングデッド (4/7) this month but more of I don't think I'll be able to hold off reading it until next month, and I've also been feeling a bit like picking up another volume of 3月のライオン (5/7) lately, and okay I think that's enough. I could just list off every single series in my tbr but then we'd be here all day. I won't even promise that I'll get to anything I listed here because that's just how life pans out sometimes. I listed off all those manga and didn't even name ウツボラ don't even look at me.

After: As much as I’m ready for this musical to be over, it saved me today because I don’t think I would’ve gotten any reading in had I not been in a position where I have to sit in one place and do nothing for like an hour and a half in bit and pieces. In addition to usual Saturday errands and the musical, I did some gardening in the afternoon and went to a party tonight. I’m really not a partier (I mean look at me, my hobbies are language learning and reading) but I always make a point to go when my next door neighbors host parties because it forces me to be at least a little social. Plus, I usually know a good amount of the people there. And this time, I ended up talking to someone about books and they invited me to their book club! Just what I need, more books I have to read. Of course I said yes.

Today, I read twenty two pages, which would be around an hour and eighteen minutes if I were to use yesterday’s average reading pace of four minutes per page. If I read another twenty pages tomorrow, I would only have about thirty pages left to read on Monday which I think is totally doable in a single day. The end is in sight! Again, I don’t dislike this book or think it’s bad, it’s just a bit too high level for my Japanese right now. I am glad to have read it, though. Hopefully my next read will pick me back up off the ground and remind me that I actually can read in this language.

I'm also still going strong with doing my JPDB reviews, and I'm now in the 1200s. Slow and steady wins the race and I'm hoping that mentioning it here will keep me on track.

[aliypop]

Anyway You Want Me: Chapter 2

Word Count: 3,147

Writers Note: This story is just an au of what if my Oc and Elvis met in high school instead of the Louisana Hayride

Warning: None so far except for language and historic language

Pairing: OC x Elvis

Plot: 1953 Memphis Tennessee Cecelia Valmos and her mother move to Shelby County as their house in Nashville is going through renovations, when asked to keep a low profile by her mother Cecelia makes friends with the quirkiest, shy, yet charming kid in class, at least Friends is what she'd call them.

Chapter 1

Memphis, Tennessee, Saturday, May 1953

"Is it three yet?" Cecelia asked as she was in her bedroom brushing out her curls and adding a small victory roll. Sure, the look was out of style, but she still appreciated it."It's 2:40." Denise shouted back as Cecelia grinned. She was finally going to be hanging out with someone, a cool someone, a shy someone, but it was someone. Taking her keys from off her dresser, she was ready to go. 

"See you later, mother!"

"See you later, and be safe!" 

"I will!" walking out the door, Cecelia passed her father, "Hi Daddy, bye Daddy..." Racing to her car, she got in and drove off, waving at the fans who were there for her parents. 

"What's gotten into her?"

"A boyfriend." Denise lied, "You'd know that if you were in her life more." 

Elvis would be lying if he wasn't twiddling his thumbs with jobs at the electric company just to kill time today. His watch was reading 2:56, which meant his shift was almost over, and he could hang out with Cecelia. Elvis couldn't wait to see her, which was totally not weird because Elvis only knew her for two days, but she was cool enough for him to be excited about seeing her, right? Either way, he knew she was worth him hanging around. Pulling back up to the store, Elvis saw her pink car. Cecelia was wearing shorts and a striped shirt, leaning against the counter with the toned legs of a dancer, and boy was Elvis entertained. She had on heels. And a pink chiffon bow in her hair and Elvis wanted nothing more than to pull her close and say- 

"There you are! I was talking to this young lady here about electric wiring."

"Did you know that when the male goes into the Female, and they plug into each other, boom, we get lights!" Cecelia glanced at Elvis, acting as if she didn't know that. He was thinking about a male and a female, but not lights.  

"Mhmm... I-I-I'll actually be right back." Elvis said as he went to freshen up. It wasn't like he was trying to impress Cecelia, Well, maybe a little, changing out of his work slacks. He had on a pair of black slacks and a white lace see-through button-up shirt with pink socks and his loafers. When he walked out, Elvis had hoped he would have taken Cecelia's breath away, but instead, he heard, "You look good, Pres."

"Thanks, Cece, you uh ready to go?" 

"Yeah." Taking his keys, he opened her door, then his, as the two began their adventures,

 "So where to first, record shop, comic shop?"

"Surprise me," Cecelia said, taking a bit of a glance at him as he began to drive. He wanted to rest his hand on her thigh, but friends didn't do that. He just had to focus. 

"Music shop it is."

Music played on the radio as Cecelia hummed along. She could carry a tune, Elvis thought to himself as he listened. He didn't sing much unless it was at Church or in his house. Other than that, he was a shy little thing,  

"So Cece..."

"Hmm?"

"You never did tell me where you moved from." 

"Well, sugar..." Elvis felt his heart pound when she said sugar. That southern drawl of her was strong, a bit like Scarlet O'Hara but sweeter, "North Carolina, Originally born and raised, but then for three years I lived in Georgia, and that was like stickin your hand in a jar of hot peppers and rubbin your eyes afterward." she laughed as Elvis kept trying to focus on the road, but he had laughed with her too, 

"Sounds like it was hell."

"You've no idea, sugar." She smiled, applying her red lipstick, "So what about you? You don't exactly sound like a Memphis guy." She smirked as he blushed. It was back on him now, all the attention, 

"Well, I was born and raised in Tupelo, Mississippi," Elvis smiled as Cecelia grinned,

"That explains that heavy accent."

"Yours ain't light either,"

"I don't know what you're talkin bout." Cecelia playful nudged him as they parked at the music store, 

"Oh really, what do you call honey."

"Definitely not what you call it." She laughed at his adorable accent as he helped her out of the car, 

"And what do I call it."

"Hunneh..." she mumbled as he laughed with her,

"That's what I sound like?" He questioned as she nodded, watching him walk like he was some star of importance, which to her he was. She never could find someone with whom she could laugh about accents. When they walked in, Cecelia called to the guitars on the wall. Her medicine of choice was a Gretsch, but she didn't mind a Gibson. Or a Fender. 

"Do you play?" Elvis asked

"A little..." Cecelia said, a guitar pick in her mouth, trying to reach for one of the Gibson guitars on the top shelf.

"Mind if I..." Before Cecelia could respond, she was suspended mid-air and sitting on his shoulder,

 "Oh..." reaching for the guitar, she grabbed it, 

"Thanks, sugar. I mean, El, Pres." 

"No problem. Cece with an E," He put her down. And he grinned a little bit. Her skin was actually really smooth, not that he was surprised, but it was a bonus. Sitting down, she strummed the guitar as her pink-painted nails began to play a song. 

"Well, I don't care if the sun don't shine. I get my lovin' in the evening time. When I'm with my baby." Cecelia began to sing as she played the song with a more bluesy rock and roll feel. She had a jazz undertone, but to Elvis, it sounded like an Angel was singing to him and a guitar princess strumming with the way her fingers were on the fret playing. It was almost as if Cecelia were a pro, and the song Cecelia picked a classic. Elvis was enchanted, but he couldn't be. Cecelia probably saw him as a friend anyway, 

"Do you play Pres..."

"El..."

"Elvis!"

"Hmm, sorry, I-I-I was thinkin." he stuttered as Cecelia blushed. Why was he so cute and innocent? She couldn't think of him like this. He was her friend, and he probably didn't feel the same.

"Oh, I was wondering if you played guitar."

"A little." He rubbed the back of his neck, "But how about the comic book shop?" he added. He wanted to save Beale Street for later in the afternoon when the lights started to come on, and the street really came to life, 

"I'd like that," putting the guitar down. The two then walked to the comic book store, 

"So, where'd you learn to sing and play like that!"

"Well, my mother, she sings, and my daddy, when he was around, played guitar, then I learned the rest from B.B. King." She shrugged,

"A girl who enjoys good music."

"Good music, good food, and great SUPERMAN!" she rushed to the window as Elvis laughed, 

"Cece, wait up!"

"EL IT'S A NEW ISSUE."

"Superman nice... But" his eyes saw a Jay Garrick comic, he snuck off and picked it up as he showed her, all he heard was a gasp, 

"ELVIS YOU FOUND IT!"She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, a blush creeping on his face, 

"F-F-Found what?"

"The comic issue I've been lookin for! " 

"you're welcome!" there were eyes on them as Cecelia and Elvis both blushed, 

"A discount for your date there," Irene said. Irene was the daughter of the owner. She knew Elvis well, in the sense he'd buy his Captain Marvel Jr. comics here. 

"She's just a friend, Irene."

"Sugar, look what I found!

"Mhmm, a friend..." Irene smirked, "I'll ring that one up, too." she winked, walking toward the counter. 

"This one's gonna be legendary..." He looked at the comic book as she grinned, "Definitely legendary." When they left the comic shop, they walked to the car to further their adventure. As they cruised down the street, the radio had been playing Dean Martins That's Amore, in which Cecelia had taken it upon herself to croon her entire heart out as Elvis as the test subject, 

"Y-You speak Italian..."

"Well, I've sung in German, French, Italian, and Spanish," she grins, "But Sometimes I speak French." 

"I-I-I-"

" Êtes-vous d'accord, Elvis?" Cecelia leaned in,

"I don't know what you just said. Hell, it sounded pretty." Elvis's brain was short-circuiting. If she was being a flirt, then he needed to get her back for it, too. 

"You think so. I've been a little rusty and haven't been to a French restaurant in a while..." She sighed,

"You live an interestin life, Cece." 

"I try to. Sometimes, I can never sit in one place. I have to be doing somethin. You know El. Like playing violin or singin or," Elvis was listening to her. She was passionate and energetic, a fast talker when she was excited, and he loved it. 

"Am I talking top?"

"No, you're talkin just fine," opening her door, he took her hand and helped her out as she blushed. He was a gentleman, a good listener, had a keen attention to detail, and had soft yet slightly callused hands that she could admire. 

"So this is Beale Street..." She said to herself,

"Wait til you see it at 7 pm. It's only 5, so we got time to see whatever you want." 

"Hmm... Let's walk and get into some good trouble." She grinned as Elvis smirked,

"I'm beginin to really like you." he said, as Cecelia blushed, "As a friend."

"Me too, kid," she giggled. Ruffling up his hair as she laughed, 

"I-I- I ain't no kid, Cece, why I bet I'm older than you."

"When's your birthday, El," Cecelia smirked, stepping up to him,

"January 8th, 1935." he smirked as if he were right, and she would grovel at his feet and say she was, in fact, a kid, a mere worm, "What about you, huh,"

"January 7th, 1935." she grinned, 

"Damn it, guess you're the boss." He laughed as the two then came up towards a tailor shop. Elvis was standing at the window looking at the suits and the shoes, 

"Wanna go in?" Cecelia asked. Elvis looked a bit hesitant. He had always craved the look, but he knew he couldn't afford it much. 

"I can't really afford much of anything in there..."

"Elvis Aaron Presley, You are going in that store. You will try on whatever it is you want, so that way, you know what you'll want when you can," she smirked, taking him by the hand and dragging him through the doors. She was gutsy, and he liked it, 

"Excuse me, but my friend here wants to try on..." Her eyes scanned the room for the pink suit that was in the window, "That fine suit right there, if you please." she smiled,

"Of course, Ms. If you'd follow me, sir."

"Cece..."

"Trust me, you'll look great." Cecelia smiled as she sat down in the waiting area, reading the men's fashion magazines and swoony at some of the men in them. She could hear Elvis in there having a bit of a ball and commotion of the experience, a snicker leaving her lips, 

"Cece little help here!" was all she heard, and then it was,

"Well, Ms., what do you think?"

"Well...I..." The pink in the outfit brought out those electric baby blues, and the lace gave him this alluring, sultry feel. The pants gave him an essence that told him he could have anything he ever dreamed of, and suddenly, she was beginning to dream of him in broad daylight, "Well, Cece..." the sinister smirk on his face was doing something to she'd never felt before,

 "Stand up straight..." she stood up, "Well, aren't you cookin' good lookin," Cecelia smirked, looking him up and down like one would inspect a car. 

"You really think so?" He asked as he danced a little in the outfit,

"Mhmm..." Her mind was racing, but they were just friends, "You could get any girl in that."

"You should get it for your boyfriend, Ms. We'll make up a fake invoice if you want to keep you two a secret..."The clerk smirked as both Cecelia and Elvis blushed,

"Oh no, we're just friends and just browsin' around, really," Elvis said as he went to get changed back into his clothes. Cecelia was tricky to read, but he knew he'd get the gist of her. Cecelia couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach, but maybe she was just hungry. 

"You hungry?"

"Hmm, I could eat, El." she took his hand as she waved the shopkeepers goodbye, 

"So the thing about me getting any girl..."

"You could in that outfit. You just gotta be confident, you know..." She paused. There in the cafe was an array of black skin dancing and singing, having a grand time while they were enjoying their burgers and fries, 

"We can eat here if you'd like." 

"YES!" this was the life she had missed, the life Elvis had always known. 

"Hey Elvis!" some teenage girls waved at him as he waved back. 

"Hey Mildred, Shirley, Rudy," he winked as they giggled, "Who's your friend."

"Cecelia Valmos." She introduced herself as they walked over and sat down, "Oh girl, I love your hair!" one of the girls said as Cecelia grinned, 

"Thank you. I love yours, too!"

"She just moved here not too long ago." 

"You picked a good tour guide."Rudy said, "He's always here like he lives here," she chuckled, 

"Is that so."

"Girl, you should see E cut up a rug. He's like a white guy with a black soul." Shirley commented as Elvis blushed, "And when He sings..."

"Ladies, I'm right here." he blushed, getting embarrassed a bit. 

"I'll keep that in mind." she chuckled. The waitress then came by as she looked at saw Elvis, 

"Let me guess, cheeseburger, a milkshake, fries salted." she laughed, "And for you, dear?"

"Cheeseburger and a soda, please." 

"No fries?" Elvis asked,

"I'll just eat yours."

"Aw, a date?"

Elvis and Cecelia quickly shook their heads,

"We're just friends..." Cecelia said,

"For now, " the three girls had said as they went to dance with their boyfriends. Cecelia watched them as she then looked at Elvis, who was tapping his foot, 

"You wanna dance?" offering her hand out to him,

"Sure." Elvis took her hand as they went up to the jukebox. Let's have a Party was playing, and that's what Cecelia intended to do. The two were dancing together and laughing as it had clearly been the most fun the two had been having. Pulling her close and spinning her around, he was impressed with her footwork. There had been a few girls he'd danced with, but this one, for once, could keep up. He then began doing his own thing as Cecelia watched his hips. She began to be mesmerized until she joined him. Swaying her hips as Cecelia danced around him, another guy took her by the hand as they began to do the Lindy Hop, flipping her over his shoulder as Cecelia laughed. He was impressed with her courage and how much of a fun time she was. 

"HEY E CATCH!" Bernard shouted as he spun Cecelia into Elvis's arms.

Elvis caught Cecelia as he dipped her, heart racing as she looked up at him, "Nice catch..." She said as Elvis blushed, "Nice, dancin." he then walked them both to their table. Sitting down, Cecelia and Elvis ate and talked as she took some of his fries, and he took some of her pickles from her burger, 

"So, has today been fun so far," Elvis asked as Cecelia sighed.

"I don't know, I mean..."

"Yes..."

"Well..."

"Cece..."

"I've been havin a blast!" she smiled. 

"Great, 'cause now I wanna show you the true Beale Street." he smiled, clutching his heart at her reaction. 

"Is this not the real..." walking outside. Cecelia saw the city lights. They felt more comforting than New York and brighter than Paris. They felt like home. Elvis could see the sparkle in her eyes as she was mesmerized by the scene music from every street, people dancing, cars going by,

 "May I?"

"You may." Elvis took Cecelia's hand and walked with her across the street, walking by other shops and bands. Cecelia could feel that this was where music truly lived. There was a group of musicians playing as Elvis began to mumble under his breath and sing the words. Cecelia had tried to listen. 

"You know... You heard me sing..." Cecelia smirked,

"Yeah, I did..."

"it's your turn..." 

"Cece..."

"Please, Pres..."

"Cil..."

"Elvis... Elvis...Elvis." She cheered as he took a deep breath and sang along to the song. When he began to sing, it was like time stood still to try to catch up to him. He was lost in the music, dancing and almost nearly performing the song. When he had stopped, Elvis had noticed Cecelia's mouth completely wide open in shock.

"ELVIS AARON PRESLEY!!! WHY ARE YOU NOT ON THE RADIO!" Cecelia playfully shook him about. As he laughed, "Or on TV, people should have posters of your records!!" she grinned, 

"I could say the same about you," he smiled as Cecelia giggled. He was right, but she was right, too.

 "Yeah, but this is about you!"

"Well, Cil, I got terrible stage fright." He laughed, "I can't be no singer or actor with stage fright." he sighed,

"Yeah, you can. Many get nervous, too."Cecelia said as she got closer to him,

"I-I-I-I da-don't pronounce my W's right an..."

"So, you got the look, I mean behind the lanky look and the choppy colored hair... There's a star." Cecelia backed away,

"Cil..."

"Imagine it, everyone screamin Elvis Presley!" she twirled, stumbling a bit as he caught her,

"Yeah... no," He laughed. Maybe if I played football or somethin, they should be cheerin your name." he smirked, lifting her up again on his shoulders, "Cecelia Valmos, the great guitar player, the amazing singer." he looked up at her as she looked down at him both their eyes meeting, 

"Elvis Presley, the great dancer! Mover of hips and remover of panties!" she joked as Elvis turned red,

"That don't sound half bad." he laughed with her, the two heading back to his car, 

"Elvis... Are you free tomorrow?"

"I got church an work, but after that..." 

"Wanna hang out again tomorrow?" Cecelia asked,

"Sure, we could go to a park or the library, maybe we could study at my place?"

"We could do that, I could make brownies as a snack," 

"It's a done deal then Cece," he smiled driving her to her car,

"See you tomorrow El."

"Same time?"

"Same time!"

Taglist: If you wanna be tagged let me know!

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

@thetaoofzoe

MORE TO COME IN CHAPTER 3!

[thessalian]

Thess vs More Adulting

Payday is always a happy day, but it's also a little more than that. I mean, it is for me, but I assume that other people do the same thing as I do - that thing being "prep for the month ahead". By which I mean grocery shopping. After all, a person has to eat. Which I have to keep fucking reminding myself because I've fallen back into some significantly disordered eating the last little while. So this month is all about trying to fix or at least mitigate that.

So here's the list and the plan for the month:

So many emergency calories, because I keep forgetting to put food into myself when I'm working and I get hangry and weird. So nuts, crisps, dried fruit, corn thins, cold cuts, some tinned peaches, and clementines.

Fixings for potato salad. Because nothing's easier than just scooping some potato salad out of the bowl in the fridge and stuffing it into one's face.

Things To Roast - a big ol' chunk of pork shoulder, a large chicken, and lamb breast (which was an accident; I wanted shoulder for lamb dopiaza but apparently they were out). That'll be roast dinners plus everything I can do with the leftovers - risotto, stir-fry, stuff like that.

On the subject of stir-fry, I found ho fun noodles when I was out picking up meds and stuff yesterday. I like those way better than the vermicelli rice noodles. I also got tater tots because they're a fairly recent addition to Sainsbury's frozen-food repertoire and I will single-handedly demonstrate that it's a worthwhile thing to keep around if I have to because I HAVE MISSED TATER TOTS SO MUCH.

Further additions for batch cooking, since I've got some meat still in the freezer that just needs little additions to make into multiple meals. Specifically passata and courgette for spaghetti bolognaise, and carrots for chicken stew.

Drinkables and treats. As well as my usual couple of bottles of cherries and berries squash, I treated myself to an eight-pack of Coke. Picked up some marshmallows for hot chocolate and to make Rice Krispie treats, and some chocolate chips for cookies. Also one small bag of gummy sweets and a big bag of prawn crackers, which are thankfully gluten-free.

The standards - eggs, butter, sugar, coffee, etc. I mean, the first three are largely for baking (though the sugar's as much for the coffee as the baking) and I have some plans for French toast, so it's at least partly treat, but never mind.

Of course, this led to a need for more adulting. Not only putting all the stuff away, but apparently my bag of sugar had a leak at the bottom and sugar kind of got all over the kitchen floor. But never mind, I had to hoover anyway. Did the rest of the flat while I was at it. I'd already started a load of laundry at that point (it's on the drying cycle now), and while I do need to clear out the fridge a little more, things are mostly uncer control. Aaaaaaaaaall the adulting.

Of course, at some point in the not too distant, I'm going to have to go and pick up the bits that were missing. Not too many things, but I still want them, so that'll be a thing. I think I'll wait until tomorrow, though. Much as I hate going to the supermarket on a Sunday, Saturdays are worse unless I'm going late, and I really don't want to leave the house today. Still feeling the whole mess of this week, including the idiotic attempt to walk to the corner shop without my cane the other day.

(The shrubbery still has my cane, but I have a new one now - it's actually better than the old one, so that's a good thing.)

One last ... well, silver lining nice thing. My stepfather called yesterday - while I was working, but he apologised for disturbing me. He also apologised that the other flat isn't going to be ready for habitation by the end of this month the way he said it would be. I was honestly fine with that for two reasons: 1) I'd already figured that out because he promised he'd give me a goodly amount of notice so I could book time off, and 2) Scruffman's off in Greece for two weeks as of Monday and I couldn't have taken the time off anyway. It's already going to be an absolute fucking mess at the office without him - however cursory his attempts to ride herd on the lazier of the lazy fuckers in the office have been, it's better than nothing, which is what they'll have for the next two weeks.

Yeah, yesterday was a complete joke because of ... well, the usual. Friday was "New Girl sits on reports from Thursday morning until Friday afternoon, then dumps them back into the queue, and also completely ignores the ten-minute monstrosity by one of The Annoyances (who specifically creates a truly epic word salad every time she speaks) for the entire day". I mean, everyone else ignored the ten-minute word salad too, but I felt I had every right to because I not only took everyone else's long ridiculous reports that day, but also picked up the ones that New Girl had been sitting on all day because she picked them up but refused to actually type them. So I figure the "Leave the long ones for [Thess] to do" is going to be the rule for the next two weeks from these lazy fuckers.

But I have a fridge full of food, plans for glorious dinners, and a weekend of TTRPGs. It can't be all bad if I've got that.

[achronicwriter]

Saturday, June 22, 2024

12 Week Year 3.1-7

I'm feeling better today, but being unable to do anything for most of the week has kicked up my intermittent executive dysfunction. Whee! So I'll be going down my Executive Function List and giving myself small treats along the way.

Morning Pills

Hair Care

Wash My Face

Brush My Teeth

Freshen Up

Moisturize Me!

Make the Beds

Get Dressed

25-Minute Writing Sprint

Update Journals

General Tidy

The kids and grandgoblins are going to Pride in a nearby "city" with DIL's stepmom and half-sibs. I want to go! But a) I'm not medically up to it and b) every seat in the car is already full. I've been promised pictures, but 😿

I got a water pick the other day. We've been meaning to get one for a while, but I've never used one in my life until 10:50 am today. I turned it on and I -- my hand on the bosom of Gaia -- I haven't been pelted with water like that since the time I was caught out in a hurricane. Splutter! Choke! What the fuck?! I got soaked. The bathroom got soaked. It took two full paper towels to dry everything off. Holy shit! But at least my teeth and the bathroom are both clean now. Shit.

I considered just staying in my loungies today, but getting dressed on days that I have even one spoon has become a principle of the matter. I'm wearing my pink and yellow tie-dyed t-shirt with copper studs, plus my Pansexual Pride head covering.

I'm solidifying my story's theme, now that I've written the roughest drafts and can see what I'm working with. Looks like I've got a 'appearances vs. reality' situation going on.

I was awake and moving at 10:00 am, and I'm started to lose steam as of 12:40 pm. Complete 'crawl the hell back to bed' happened at 1:15 pm and I slept until 5:00 pm. I woke up feeling pretty good. I still took an hour to watch tv shows and play games before hopping back on the list where I left off.

That last bit is a big change for me. Before when I went through shutdown I would consider the day a wash, stay in bed, and potato for the rest of the day whether or not I felt better after a nap. It's a different beast to get up and get back into it. I may not get much more done but I feel better about myself and my capabilities.

[holdmeclosertinytaron]

RHW: Epilogue

Story Page / Playlist / Wattpad / AO3

PLEASE READ: The day is here. Right Here, Waiting is officially over. It's been a ride, to say the least. I've laughed and I've cried, but I've enjoyed every single minute of it. @brayndilyn and I turned a tiny little idea into something that I am infinitely proud of. Her love, support and help has been amazing and this story has given me a friend that I will cherish forever, so thank you, B!

You may notice that this epilogue is set on the 5th of August, 2023...TODAY. I wanted to do something fun and cool and having the story end on the day that it ends just seemed so fitting. I hope you enjoy the epilogue as much as you've loved the rest of the story. I'm off on a little hiatus now but I'll be back soon.

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: PURE FLUFF

August 5th, 2023

After a wet July filled with continuous torrential downpours, August brought with it the promise of the sunshine that everybody craved. Taron and Liliana had quickly escaped the hustle and bustle of London at the first sign of sun to spend the week in Aberystwyth with their family. 

Liliana was excited to spend Matilda’s twelfth birthday with her. Matilda had started high school in September and had been so busy that Liliana hadn’t been able to spend as much time with her as she would have liked. Having a week to see her as often as she liked made her insides jump with excitement. 

The second day they were in Wales, it was a warm Saturday morning and Liliana woke up before Taron. He nestled into her back with his nose tucked into the back of her neck. Liliana lay in bed for a little while after she’d woken up just to enjoy Taron’s touch on her skin, but when she grew a little too warm, she climbed out and pulled on some leggings. 

Tina was already downstairs when Liliana slipped into the living room, and she turned her attention away from the TV to smile at Liliana. 

‘Good morning, honey. Sleep well?’ 

Liliana nodded. ‘I did, thank you. Taron’s still sleeping but I don’t think it’ll be too long until he’s awake.’ 

‘You came downstairs,’ Tina chuckled. ‘I give him a solid fifteen minutes before he comes in here looking for you.’ 

‘I was going to say more like ten. I had to try so hard to pull myself away from him. I’m going to go make a cup of coffee. Would you like one?’ 

Tina shook her head softly and held her mug up. ‘I’ve got one already, lovely. Thank you though. I’ll come and chat to you in the kitchen, I’ve had a bit of an idea I want to run by you.’ 

Liliana walked through to the kitchen with Tina close behind her. She’d been at Tina’s house overnight countless times in the almost eighteen months that she and Taron had been together, but it wasn’t until that morning that she realised just how at ease she was there. 

She didn’t feel the need to tiptoe everywhere she went in fear of making too much noise with her steps. She didn’t stop in doorways to listen and make sure that nobody was in a room before she entered. 

And she felt completely free to make herself a drink or get something to eat without having to ask or feel like a burden. She let out a shaky breath as she grabbed the mug that Tina had bought specifically for her, and she blinked back tears. 

‘So this plan?’ Liliana said to try and distract herself from the emotions racing through her. 

Tina settled herself on one of the dining chairs and watched Liliana glide around the kitchen effortlessly. ‘I was thinking, because the sun has finally decided to make an appearance and because I want to celebrate getting to spend the entire week with my two oldest babies, what if we have a barbecue this afternoon?’ 

Liliana’s heart swelled at Tina calling her one of her babies, and she turned to her with an emotional smile. ‘That sounds really lovely. Taron and I could go to the shops if you needed? It wouldn’t be a bother.’ 

‘No, it’s okay,’ Tina insisted. ‘If you’re okay to watch the girls for me, I’ll go. Plus, if I’m being completely honest, I need Taron to clean the barbecue before we use it.’ 

Liliana let out a small chuckle. ‘I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to do that. I ought to be making him a drink too, huh? Considering it’s been five minutes since I got downstairs.’ 

‘It might be a good idea. Do you think Eliza would be okay with Matilda coming around today? She could spend the night too, if she’d like.’ 

The corners of Liliana’s lips curled up into a grin as she nodded her head. ‘That would be amazing. Thank you, Tina. But please let me give you some money towards the food and anything extra. It’s the least I can do for everything you’ve done for Taron and me recently.’ 

Tina shook her head firmly. ‘Nope. I won’t take money from you, Lili. It’s what family does.’ 

‘Exactly. Family helps each other out. Let me give you the money for the crisps and things at least then.’ 

‘Liliana Esme,’ Tina chastised lightly. Liliana looked down sheepishly and it took her a short while to finally look back up at Tina. 

‘Sorry.’ 

Tina chuckled with a small wink. ‘There’s been this idea floating around in my head for a few months now but I didn’t know when, or how to bring it up in the best way.’ 

Liliana furrowed her brows as she put the used tea bag into the small caddy next to the kitchen. 

‘I love you just as much as I love Taron and the girls. If anything happened to you, I would be beside myself. You are amazing, and I wish you’d had the grown up you needed in your life when you were little. I’ve been thinking…if you feel comfortable enough, this is, that you could maybe call me mum? You absolutely do not have to, I just thought…oh I don’t even know, I just thought it might be nice.’ 

Liliana’s breath stopped momentarily as a rush of contrasting emotions filled her mind. Tina had been more like a mum to Liliana throughout her teenage years than Eliza had, and she’d accidentally slipped and called Tina ‘mum’ on a few occasions. But knowing that she had Tina’s blessing–that she would finally be able to call someone mum again, and knowing that she had a mum who loved her, it sent something weird zapping through her body and she couldn’t control the emotion as she wasn’t quite sure what it was. 

‘That’s truly only if you feel comfortable though,’ Tina continued. She could sense the difference in Liliana’s demeanour and wanted to diffuse anything before it got too bad and Liliana shut down. The last thing Tina wanted to do was upset Liliana. ‘I wouldn’t ever want you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. 

‘It’s just…I want you to have a mum that you feel safe with. I want you to have a mum that loves you how you deserve to be loved, because my god you deserve to be loved, Liliana. Anyway, would Matilda prefer hot dogs or beef burgers for the barbecue? I’ll be getting cheese and doing some fried onions. If she’s anything like you, I’ll be buying Tesco out of onions.’ 

Liliana breathed out a slightly teary laugh. She was thankful for the sudden change in subject. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to call Tina mum. If anything she would have loved to. There was just something holding her back. 

Things with Taron were perfect, to put it swiftly, but she knew just how quickly things changed in her life; how quickly things went bad. The last thing she wanted was for her to finally feel comfortable enough in a family for it all to be pulled from under her. It had happened before, and she swore that she wouldn’t let it happen again. 

‘You may need to buy Tesco out of onions. Chances are she’ll probably have one of each. She isn’t fussy, bless her. You could put any food in front of her and she would give it a go. I don’t know where she got that from, I was so fussy when I was younger.’ 

‘You weren’t fussy,’ Tina said seriously. ‘You just hadn’t had the chance to try a lot of foods when you were younger so you were nervous to sway away from what you knew. I never had an issue with you trying new things. But if she likes both, I’ll make sure there’s both. The girls are the same. I’ll get Taron to clean the barbecue when he comes downstairs and we’ll be good to go. I’m surprised he hasn’t come down yet, it’s been ten minutes.’ 

As if on cue, Taron strolled into the kitchen with his arms stretched above his head. He yawned as he made his way over to Tina to kiss her on the cheek. 

‘Morning, mam. I heard my name. What are you talking about me for?’ 

Tina looked at Liliana and they shook their heads simultaneously with small laughs that made Taron look between them with raised eyebrows. 

‘I bet I didn’t,’ he laughed as he stalked towards Liliana. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her lips gently. ‘You came downstairs without me.’ 

‘Unlike some, I wake up early and don’t want to spend all day in bed,’ Liliana chuckled playfully before she kissed Taron again quickly. ‘Your mum suggested that we have a barbecue this afternoon. We’re going to watch the girls while she runs to Tesco and I’m going to call Matilda soon and see if she wants to come. Eliza won’t have a problem with it.’ 

Taron twisted his body until his hips rested against the worktop. He wrapped an arm around Liliana’s waist and tucked her into his side before he grabbed her mug of coffee to steal some. 

‘Oi,’ Liliana chastised with wide eyes, ‘that’s mine, you bugger. There’s a mug behind you that I made for you.’ 

‘Yours always tastes nicer,’ Taron shrugged. ‘A barbecue sounds amazing though. Do you need me to clean it then, mam? It’s not been used for…I don’t even know how long. The chances are it’s a right mess and will need a good scrub.’ 

Tina licked her lips as she stood to put her empty mug in the sink next to Taron. ‘Funny you should ask,’ she said playfully. 

Taron shook his head in fake disbelief. ‘I knew I heard you talking about me. I’ll get it cleaned this morning for you so it can sit for a while before I light it. Can I put towards the shopping? I don’t like the idea of you buying everything.’ 

‘I already told Liliana that I won’t accept any money from the two of you for it. You are my babies and I want to treat you. Am I okay to leave the girls with you now? They’re due to be waking up soon but I have a feeling Tesco will be packed if I leave it much longer.’ 

‘That’s fine,’ Liliana said quietly before she leaned up to kiss Taron’s cheek. ‘I’m going to go and call Matilda. I’ll be right back, babe.’ 

***

As Taron had thought, the barbecue was in need of a deep clean. It wouldn’t take much to get it clean but Taron got the power washer out to help speed things up. In a feeble attempt to stop his t-shirt from getting wet and dirty, he pulled it away from his body and threw it just inside the back door where it would be sage. 

While he cleaned, Liliana and the three young girls all laid out on blankets on the grass together. The three younger girls played on Taron’s Nintendo Switch while Liliana read a book. After working on her second book for so long, it was nice to read for pleasure rather than for work. She’d made sure to pack multiple books for their week away so that she wouldn’t run out of reading material. 

Liliana read her book until Taron rubbed his palms on the back of his jeans to dry them off somewhat. He’d distracted her so well that when Matilda scooted closer to her, she hadn’t flinched. It wasn’t until Matilda tapped her on the leg twice that Liliana diverted her attention away from her boyfriend to her little sister. 

‘Thank you for letting me come,’ Matilda said quietly while she hugged Liliana from the side. 

Liliana turned to her and smiled fondly. For all of their differences, they were still so alike. They had the same personality, and Liliana could feel the love that radiated from Matilda in the small moments. 

‘You are so welcome, Little Bug. Are you excited to start year eight in September? I can’t believe that you’re already in your second year of high school.’ 

‘I’m a little nervous. Year seven was fun but the teachers have said we’re really starting to get into things this next year.’ 

‘Year eight is a little harder than year seven.’ Liliana wasn’t the type of person to sugar coat anything when it came to Matilda. She wanted her to know that things could be hard, and then give her ways around making it easier. ‘But it will go by so fast and you are so smart that you won’t even be able to tell the difference. Before you know it, you’ll be in year eleven and doing your GCSEs. High school can be hard, and I don’t want you to let anybody tell you otherwise. 

‘And people can be awful, trust me on that one. But you are so headstrong, and so incredibly smart that I know you’re going to do amazing. If anybody starts to give you trouble–students or teachers–let me know. Taron and I went to that school and most of the teachers we had are still there and I can talk to them. Mr Francis, he could probably tell you some stories.’ 

‘He’s my English teacher!’ Matilda exclaimed happily. ‘He’s always really fun.’ 

‘That sounds like Mr Francis. He was Taron and me’s English teacher too. He caught us passing notes one day and I don’t think I will ever live that down.’ 

Matilda’s eyes widened in glee. ‘I’m going to ask him about you both in September. Hey, Lili? Do you think that you and Taron will ever get married?’ 

Liliana took a deep breath and moved her attention back to Taron. His back tensed as he cleaned and Liliana couldn’t help but want to run her hands down the length of it and let them settle just inside the waistband of his jeans. She shook her head before her daydream turned into something erotic and turned back to Matilda. 

She leaned in close and whispered, ‘I don’t know, Tilly, but I hope we do. I love him a helluva lot and it would be nice to be married to him.’ 

‘Would you have kids?’ 

‘I don’t know, Til. That’s something that Taron and I would have to talk about one day. Why? Do you want us to get married and have babies?’ 

Matilda nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ve always wanted a brother. And who doesn’t love babies?’ 

Liliana chuckled and hugged Matilda to her side. Though she kept her eyes on Taron. Matilda had planted a thought in Liliana’s mind and it had turned into a whole daydream about one day being able to call Taron her husband. The thought made her insides turn to mush and she couldn’t hold back the grin that took over her face. 

Unbeknownst to anyone else in the garden, Taron had heard Matilda’s question and had strategically taken a break from using the power washer in the hopes that he would hear how Liliana answered. Taron had known since March of the previous year that he wanted to spend the rest of his time on Earth with Liliana. 

In the April of 2022, he had designed and bought a ring that he hoped she would love, ready for whenever Liliana was comfortable enough to take the next step and solidify their relationship further. 

The past eighteen months had been utter bliss for Taron. He finally had the woman of his dreams and his best friend all rolled into one. But he knew that Liliana still faced her inner demons every day and he was willing to wait as long as she needed before he asked her the most important question. 

A couple of months after their trip to Scotland, Liliana had moved in with him and that was enough for Taron. Liliana was the first person he saw when he woke up, and the last person he saw when he went to bed. If they lived like that for the rest of their lives without the titles of husband and wife, he was sure that he wouldn’t have minded. 

Five months prior, when they celebrated their one year anniversary, he had casually brought up the idea of marriage but Liliana had been hesitant. She had drawn in on herself again and Taron knew that it was too much too soon. He apologised for bringing it up and made it up to her again and again that night, whispering sweet nothings into her ear continuously. 

He had hoped that the idea of marriage wouldn’t scare Liliana so much, and he’d come up with a tentative plan to propose to her in November. It would be the two year anniversary of when they reunited at Liliana’s first book launch. But Taron carried the ring with him wherever he went, more so that he didn’t forget where he had hidden it, but also because he was worried about how Liliana might react if she saw it. 

The second he heard Liliana tell Matilda that she wanted to marry him, he thanked his lucky stars that he’d taken the ring to Aberystwyth with him and that it was stashed in the bottom of his suitcase where there was no risk of Liliana coming across it. He decided to seize the moment, and a plan started to form in his head. 

Liliana and Matilda had continued to whisper while Taron had his epiphany, and luckily they hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped cleaning. He closed the lip of the barbecue softly so that it didn’t make too loud of a noise. 

‘Well, I believe it will do for our spur of the moment party this afternoon.’ 

Liliana looked up at Taron and smiled happily, ‘Great job, babe. It looks clean enough to eat off of!’ She winked at him and he gave her a sarcastic look while he planted his hands on both hips and wiggled them joyfully. ‘You are something else.’ 

‘You got that right, baby. I’m going to go and get cleaned up and put my top back on before I join in on all the fun you four are having. Do any of you want a drink while I’m inside?’ 

‘Can you bring us all another can, please? Thank you.’

Taron went back into the house and continued to work on his plan to get Liliana alone for a little while. He hoped that if he timed it right, they could be back at the house to celebrate with everyone before the barbecue was in full swing. 

He bounded up the stairs two at a time and changed into a pair of shorts and a new t-shirt before he grabbed the ring from his suitcase. Before he left the bedroom, Taron checked in the mirror to make sure that the outline of the small, velvet box wasn’t obvious. 

As luck would have it, Tina walked in the front door as Taron got to the bottom of the stairs. She jumped a little but chuckled when she saw that it was only Taron. 

‘God you have a way of sneaking up on me,’ she laughed. 

‘It was totally not on purpose,’ Taron laughed. ‘Let me help you with these bags. What did you buy, woman? They’re heavier than the girls.’ 

‘Hush your mouth, child. Though I may have gotten carried away with snacks. So the chances are we’re eating all of this over the next few days.’ 

‘That sounds like a plan to me. I actually need your help with something.’ 

‘Sure, baby. What do you need?’ 

Tine looked at her son with a puzzled look plastered on her face. She could tell that Taron was up to something but she couldn’t fathom what it could possibly be. He put the bags he carried down on the table and then turned to his mum fully. 

He checked the back garden to make sure that none of the girls were on their way inside before he stuffed his hand into his pocket and gripped the small box that he’d kept well hidden for almost two years. 

‘I happened to overhear Liliana telling Matilda that she hopes that we get married one day. And I figured, why not ask her today?’ He pulled the box out of his pocket and snapped it open to show his mum the ring. ‘This wasn’t the plan but I can’t wait any longer. It’s been such a long time coming. She’s the one, mum. Liliana is the one that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.’ 

Tina’s jaw was on the floor and she had tears in her eyes. It wasn’t a surprise that Taron wanted to propose. She’d known how Taron felt about Liliana for years, but she hadn’t had a clue that he already had a ring. 

‘I was going to tell you that I planned to propose but I just can’t wait any longer.’ 

‘Oh my goodness, this is amazing. My baby boy is going to propose!’ Tina’s voice got louder and Taron immediately turned to the back garden. 

‘Mam,’ he shushed her through gritted teeth. 

‘I’m sorry, honey, this is just so exciting! What do you need my help with?’ 

Taron closed the box and stuffed it back in his pocket so that there wasn’t a risk of anybody else seeing it before the time was right. ‘I need you to distract Rosie, Marie and Matilda while I get Liliana up to Constitution Hill. I thought it only fitting that I ask her there. It’s one of the most important places to us.’ 

Tina nodded in understanding and pulled Taron in for a long hug. ‘Of course, that would be perfect. And leave it to me, I’ll make sure the youngest are good while you’re gone. I’m so proud of you, little boy. And I’m so happy that Liliana is ready for forever. I told her that she can call me mum if she wants to and she got emotional. She’s really starting to open up more and I’m so happy.’ 

‘I think she’s finally ready to accept that she’s part of a family now. I just want to make it official. I’m going to go and get her. We won’t be too long, promise.’ 

‘Take your time, Taron.’ 

‘Thanks, mam. I love you.’ 

‘I love you too.’ 

Taron hugged his mum once more before he walked to the back door and admired the four girls at the top of the garden. He slowly made his way over towards them. 

‘Hey, Love Bug, come here for a second,’ Taron called to Liliana as he neared where she rested on the grass. He opened his arms and Liliana automatically stepped into them when she got up. ‘Mum’s just got back from Tesco and it’s such a lovely day out. What do you say we got for a walk quickly? I was thinking about Constitution Hill. It’s been so long since we’ve been up there.’ 

Liliana gave Taron the same puzzled look his mum had and asked, ‘But what about the barbecue? Surely we could help your mum get everything ready? She’s already done so much by doing the shopping on her own. I can’t leave her to prepare everything on her own too.’ 

‘She had mentioned asking the girls to help her prepare everything, and you know how much they all love to help out in the kitchen. Especially when Matilda is here.’ 

Liliana was still visibly sceptical, but she couldn’t deny that she would love some alone time with Taron. ‘Sure, babe, that sounds like a great idea. But let’s take the funicular up so we aren’t gone too long. I would still like to help your mum prepare some stuff.’ 

‘My thoughts exactly,’ Taron smiled as he leaned down to kiss Liliana. ‘Come on, let’s get going.’ 

He wrapped his arm around Liliana’s shoulder and walked them towards the garden gate that led them down the side of the house and to the street. Matilda looked up at Liliana and the crease in her brow was obvious even from where Liliana was. 

‘We’re just going to take a quick walk up the hill. We’ll be back before the barbecue starts, I promise,’ Liliana assured Matilda. 

Matilda smiled and gave her a small wave goodbye before going back to playing games with the other two. Liliana waved at Tina as they passed the kitchen window. She could have sworn that Tina winked at her when she passed by, but the sun was streaming in through the window so Liliana thought that it must have been the sunlight getting in her eyes. 

***

Liliana had clocked the grey clouds making their way to town before Taron had, but she was sure the forecast hadn’t predicted rain so she hadn’t mentioned anything. Though she wished she had when she felt the first drops of rain hit her skin. Taron groaned loudly and grabbed her hand to pull her into the nearest empty doorway. 

He pushed her against the wall softly and looked down at her with so much love that Liliana could physically feel her heart pulling towards Taron’s. Her hands slid up his front until she could pull him closer to her by the neck. 

Her lips brushed over his and as she was about to pull away, Taron leaned forward and kissed her passionately. She sighed dreamily into him and held onto him tighter. When they had been caught in the rain and took shelter in a shop doorway all those sixteen years before, all Liliana had wanted was for Taron to kiss her. 

Liliana smiled into the kiss and Taron copied. He thought the same thing and without needing to use words, they gave each other what their younger selves wanted. 

‘Do you think they’d be happy?’ Liliana asked when they pulled apart to catch their breath. 

‘Who?’ 

‘Our eighteen year old selves. Can you imagine telling them that in sixteen years they would be back hiding from the rain but happily kissing one another because they were in a relationship and had been for over a year?’ 

Taron thought for a moment as he held Liliana close. The rain had stopped already but they made no moves to continue their walk. He let his hands trail up to Liliana’s waist where he held her against him. He just hoped that she wouldn’t reach her hands down too low where she would feel the ring box nestled safely in his pocket. 

‘I think they’d be annoyed that it took us so long to say something to one another,’ he said with a small smile. ‘But then I think they would be so happy. I know younger me would be. All I wanted that day was to kiss you.’ 

‘All I wanted was for you to kiss me.’ 

‘Then this is for younger us,’ he smiled before he leaned down to plant another kiss to Liliana’s welcoming lips.

***

Thankfully the rain hadn’t stopped the funicular and it was running when they got to the bottom of Constitution Hill. Liliana climbed in first and took a seat on the small bench to the left. Taron squeezed in next to her and put his arm around her shoulder happily. 

‘Thank you for indulging me, Lil. I love spending time with everyone at home but I wanted a little bit of uninterrupted alone time with you.’ 

Nobody else stepped onto the funicular and as it started to carry them up the hill, Taron leaned in and kissed Liliana. It was deep and passionate, and the passion behind it caught Liliana off guard momentarily. Though she leaned in and kissed him back just as fervently. It didn’t matter how much time passed, kissing Taron was still her favourite feeling in the world. 

‘Thank you for suggesting this, T,’ she panted when Taron pulled away. ‘I agree, it is very nice to have some alone time with you. No funny business though, we are still in public and the ride up is only a few minutes.’ Liliana wagged a finger at Taron and he put his hands up in surrender with a devilish grin. 

‘I wouldn’t dream of it, Love Bug. But there’s nothing saying we can’t have a cheeky make out session, right?’ Taron winked at Liliana and leaned in to kiss her again. 

By the time they pulled apart, they were nearing the top of the hill. Taron grabbed Liliana’s hand as he stepped out so that he could help her climb out of the carriage safely. She thanked him softly and leaned her hand on his shoulder as they walked. 

The closer they got to the edge of the hill, the more Taron’s nerves started to hit him. His throat got dry and his hands had started to shake. He hoped that if Liliana could feel the shake, she would think that he was a little on the chillier side. The drop in temperature at the top of the hill worked in his favour. 

Liliana pulled away from Taron and walked towards the edge faster than Taron. The views never failed to amaze her and the second she saw the entire bay, her lips curled into a smile and she took a deep breath. Her love for Aberystwyth grew once again when she’d started to go back with Taron. She no longer dreaded being there because she knew that she would be with the people who loved her the most. 

The sunshine that had come back quickly after the rain had stopped, and by the time that they got off of the funicular, nobody would have known that it had been raining ten minutes previously thanks to the almost cloudless sky that had taken over. 

Liliana towed Taron in the direction of their spot while she soaked up the sunshine, her head tilted up to get as much vitamin C as she could. They had never officially declared what part of the hill was their spot, but they both knew. They had spent countless hours up there talking about life while watching the clouds. 

It was where Liliana had felt the safest when she was a teenager, and it was where they had realised that they had fallen for each other all those years ago. Liliana stood right at the edge and looked out at the sea. Small waves crashed against the bottom of the hill and Liliana matched her breathing to each crash. 

There was a faint smell of seaweed in the air and the Y Consti cafe behind them wafted the smell of freshly ground coffee into the air. Taron stepped next to Liliana and took her hand in his. They stood and stared out at the sea for a moment, taking in the warm breeze and the few fluffy clouds that dotted the sky. 

As Liliana was about to tell Taron that she was enjoying the moment with him, she felt him tug on her hand. When she turned to face him, he was lowering himself onto his left knee. He took the ring box from his pocket and Liliana’s breath caught in her throat. 

‘Taron,’ she managed to choke out as she squeezed his hand tightly. Tears had already found their way to her eyes and she couldn’t help the ones that fell down the length of her cheeks. 

‘Don’t say anything yet,’ he said quickly before he gulped. ‘Please. I want to say this before I forget anything I want to say.’ 

Liliana nodded, allowing Taron the room to say whatever he needed to. Though she knew what was coming. Her heart thumped rapidly deep within her chest and tiny drops of sweat started to build on the small of her back as the anticipation of what was about to happen poured over her. 

When Matilda had asked her earlier in the day if she was going to marry Taron, Liliana hadn’t expected for Taron to propose to her that day. Things started to fall into place as she watched Taron. She’d not taken notice of it before but she should have realised that Taron had stopped cleaning at the right time, and then the next thing she knew, he whisked her away to their spot and he was on one knee in front of her. 

She swiped away the tears that had started to fall so that she could look at Taron clearly, but she couldn’t wipe them away fast enough. They were falling freely down her cheeks and she saw a couple of people out of the corner of her eye watching the scene unfold in front of them. 

‘It has been almost sixteen years since I said goodbye to you on that train platform,’ Taron started through a shaky breath. ‘When the train pulled out, I remember wondering if I was ever going to see you again. It was like I was losing the thing that mattered the most to me. When I got home, I sat in your chair and I just cried. I didn’t want you to leave, but I didn’t know if I was allowed to say anything. I remember thinking that I’d lost you for good.’ 

Taron paused and took a deep, shaky breath. Liliana wanted nothing more than to reach out and cup his cheek, to pull him into her body and hold him until the end of time. She wanted to be the one to look after him. But she held back so that he could continue in his own time. Liliana was in no rush. They had the rest of their lives to look forward to. 

‘Then one morning when I was checking my mail, I found an invitation to a book launch. The second I read the name on top, Liliana Esme, I could feel the hole in my heart shrink a little.’ 

Liliana could remember making the guest list for the book launch as if it were only yesterday. She’d been asked to give a list of names of people who meant the most to her. When Taron’s name popped into her mind, she couldn’t decide what to do. It had already been over a decade since she’d last seen him, and a whole lifetime had occurred in that time. 

She knew that it was a long shot that he would turn up, but she invited him anyway. And she would send that invite again just to have Taron by her side again. 

‘You have always been my safe space, Lil, and I have loved you since we were eighteen years old. I wake up every morning and fall in love with you even more. The hole in my heart healed when I saw you again, and every day with you makes the scar grow smaller. 

‘These past eighteen months with you have been the best of my life. It’s been a continuous adventure and I can’t wait to relive every single one for the rest of my life. I have loved dancing in Washington Square Park with you; eating croissants on a balcony in the middle of Paris; swimming in the Mediterranean Sea; running into the sea down there in the middle of the night in just our underwear.’ 

Liliana laughed through the tears that streamed freely down her face, and she held Taron’s hand tighter, if that were even possible. A stray tear fell down Taron’s cheek and Liliana leaned forward to wipe it away with her free hand. Taron leaned into her touch and let the corner of his lips turn up into a gentle smile. 

‘Liliana, you are the strongest person I know, and the love that you show everyone around you knows no bounds. You love so hard, and with everything in you. Yet you struggle to love yourself, even now. It’s almost as though you are so busy loving everyone else that you forget to share that love with yourself. 

‘I want to be the person who shows you love when you don’t feel like you can show it to yourself. I do not want you to ever feel the way you felt growing up. You’ve had me in your corner forever, but I am going to prove to you that I’m not leaving that corner. Not for one second. On your hardest days, I will be there. On days where we’re frustrated with one another, I will be in your corner. I will be in your corner no matter what. 

‘I want you to feel loved every second of every day. And one day, I hope that you’ll have children in your corner. Children that you brought into the world. That…we brought into the world.’ 

Liliana took a deep breath. The thought of children wasn’t as scary as she would have imagined, but she was nowhere near ready to think about it yet. Though she knew Taron wouldn’t push anything, ever. 

‘You are going to make an amazing mum one day, Lil. I have no doubt about it. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love someone. You are still my safe space, my guiding light, my strength on my weakest days, and my warmth on my coldest days. I want us to be a family. I want us to start a family that will always show you love. ‘

Taron took another shaky breath and looked up at Liliana. His eyes were steady as they fixated on Liliana’s, and his hands stopped shaking just enough that he was able to snap the ring box open. 

Liliana’s breath caught in the back of her throat as she looked at the delicate ring in front of her. It was everything she could have imagined and so much more. The sapphire and diamond ring glistened beautifully in the sun that shone down around them. 

The smile she gave Taron was so big that it hurt her cheeks and she could barely see in front of her. But her smile told Taron everything he needed to know. She was ready. Liliana was ready to start the next chapter of her life. She was ready to be a wife, ready to take on the world with Taron, and ready to open up her life to him wholly. 

‘Liliana Esme,’ Taron continued through a smile equally as wide as Liliana’s, ‘will you marry me?’

[wanderersrest]

Wanderer's Rest Presents: A Not-So-Comprehensive Mecha Anime Recommendation List

Mecha anime. You know them. Shows featuring young folks and their giant machines, fighting against enemies that range from mythological beings, dinosaurs, space fascists, aliens, kaiju, angels, war profiteers, and many more! Chances are likely you can think of at least one mecha anime series, whether it be something as mainstream as Gundam or Evangelion, or it's something as obscure as Flag or Dai-Guard (at least I think Dai-Guard is obscure). You want to get into mecha anime, but you don't know what to start with. That's what this list is here for! Specifically, I'm going to list shows based roughly on what your preferences are. I'll try to cover a fair bit, so strap in.

Unless I state otherwise with the recommendation, you can most likely find any series recommended on here on Crunchyroll.

Recommendation 1: Dai-Guard

Speaking of Dai-Guard, go watch Dai-Guard. It's basically "What if our alien-fighting giant robot was piloted and maintained by regular office workers?" the anime. Complete with all of the red tape and corporate backstabbing that ensues. It's also relatively short, clocking in at 26 episodes, so be sure to check it out when you get the chance.

Recommendation 2: Gun x Sword

Do you like Westerns? Do you like sci-fi? Do you like western sci-fi mash-ups that also have what is basically a Mexican Super Sentai/Power Rangers giant robot in it? If yes to that last one, you might want to check out Gun x Sword, a western sci-fi mashup complete with a Mexican-themed Super Sentai robot (I'm not kidding). It's a tale of revenge, and how far one is willing to go to exact it. So if that sounds interesting to you, then check it out.

Recommendation 3: Magic Knight Rayearth

So, uh, this is a magical girl series. A magical girl series that has giant robots in it. Rayearth is great. Definitely check it out, especially if you really like magical girl shows. Also full disclosure: Rayearth is pretty much the only magical girl series I've watched outside of the Madoka Magica movies. Also, I will say that Rayearth is based off of the manga, though the two diverge heavily after a certain point, both with drastically different storylines a la Fullmetal Alchemist and FMA: Brotherhood.

Recommendation 4: The King of Braves, GaoGaiGar

Content warning: GaoGaiGar has a lot of strobing lights throughout the show, moreso than Rayearth and Patlabor.

GaoGaiGar is a classic giant robot series. More importantly, it came out in a time when everyone was trying to imitate the hot stuff that was Evangelion. It's the classic "anime series designed to sell toys" style specifically, but it really rocks. Most people say that it gets good around the half-way point, but I would argue that it's the first half that allows us to have that great second half. It's a great series if you're looking for something to watch on a Saturday morning, especially if you enjoy waking up to what is quite possibly the most hot-blooded mecha show after Gurren Lagann and G Gundam.

Recommendation 5: Patlabor

If you like political thrillers and giant robots with lots of worldbuilding, I'd highly recommend Patlabor. Now depending on which you prefer, the recommendation gets a bit more specific. I'd specifically recommend watching the Early Days OVA first as a primer for what the series is all about. Then, if you're hooked, I'd continue in production order, which is:

Early Days OVA -> Movie -> TV Anime -> New Files OVA -> Movie 2 -> Wasted XIII

A lot of people like to say the movie timeline is better, but I personally think that sells the TV series short. Especially since the TV series has a lot of character development that the Early Days OVA and movies can't include due to their length.

Patlabor is streaming on HiDive.

Recommendation 6: Back Arrow

There haven't been as many mecha shows in more than a decade, but Back Arrow is definitely a series that scratches that itch. Like Gun x Sword above, it's also one of those weird genre mash-ups, trading in western & sci-fi for medieval European fantasy with wuxia... and also sci-fi. Not helping things is that both Back Arrow and Gun x Sword are directed by Goro Taniguchi. Also the main character spends the majority of the first episode naked, and the second in nothing but a pair of underwear. It's weird. It's great. Definitely give it a shot.

Recommendation 7: Psalm of Planets Eureka seveN & After War Gundam X

If you're looking for something with more romance in it, I'd definitely give either Eureka Seven or Gundam X a chance. Both are fairly long and have a similar vibe with regards to their main couples, though I think Eureka Seven is more realistic with its relationships. It's because of their similarities that I'm recommending both series, especially since Gundam X predates Eureka Seven by almost ten years. They're both great, and definitely worth checking out.

If you're going to watch Gundam X, please keep in mind that the series was cut short in its run for a lot of factors outside of its control.

As of this writing, neither the original TV series for Eureka Seven nor Gundam X is available for streaming. If you're really lucky, the official Gundam YouTube channel might stream Gundam X one day. Don't count on it though.

Recommendation 8: Brave Bang Bravern

I know I've been post a lot of gifs with this list, but for this recommendation, I want you to go in blind. It's of vital importance that you go into Bravern blind. Just do it. Take my word for it. It's great. Very hotblooded. Much robot.

Recommendation 9: SSSS.Gridman & SSSS.Dynazenon

If you're big into tokusatsu, then you need to check out both SSSS.Gridman and SSSS.Dynazenon. Gridman might be stretching the definition of what a mecha show is (on the other hand, so does Evangelion), but Dynazenon absolutely is a mecha show. Both are great though, and definitely worth a watch.

Recommendation 10: Mobile Fighter G Gundam

G Gundam is probably the second most hot-blooded show in all of mecha (tied with GaoGaiGar, and somehow surpassed only by Gurren Lagann). It is not the best series to get into if you want to get a basic understanding of what Gundam is like in general like either the Witch From Mercury or 00. But neither of those series have the Erupting God Finger. Nor do they have a Mobile Suit piloted by a horse. Checkmate atheists.

Conclusion

There are so many mecha shows out there, which is not surprising since the genre's roots go back as far as the 50's with, depending on how you define the genre, either Astro Boy or Tetsujin 28-go. While they aren't as numerous as they were in the past, there are still a lot of shows in the genre. So many shows in fact, that I didn't even mention some other great shows like Turn A Gundam and Shin Mazinger Z. Heck, I haven't even gone through a good portion of the genre itself, as I haven't gotten around to watching seminal works such as Getter Robo, Giant Robo, Armored Trooper VOTOMs, Fang of the Sun Dougram, Aura Battler Dunbine, or the Vision of Escaflowne. Don't even get me started on either finishing all of Gundam or starting Macross. That doesn't even touch on the fact that I ignored a lot of the "Not Like the Other Mecha Show" series like Evangelion, Code Geass, or Gurren Lagann (I mentioned GL a few times though, so that's worth something I guess). I really can't blame anyone for seeing this and going "Meh. I'll just watch *insert show here* instead." But if you're willing to go in for the long haul with any of these series, I can vouch for these series (and a couple others like Turn A). So yeah, check these out if you have the time. Also check out Turn A Gundam if you haven't already (but only if you've watched a lot of Gundam).